#and i'd wanted to post something about it

[calware]

it is so weird seeing homestuck fans that just blatantly admit to not wanting to engage with the text or think about the themes or anything that is being conveyed. personally i don't have a lot of experience with literary analysis and i absolutely do not consider myself to be an analysis poster or anything like that (and i'm absolutely aware that i don't always post "good takes") but i do genuinely love hearing what analysts (and i do mean actual analysts not just people who do explanations/interpretations (though there's nothing wrong with just sticking to that)) have to say about the story and what there is to take away from it and now ideas intersect and overlap and create value and meaning

i made a post over the summer saying something about how the fandom can feel like an infinitely ongoing discussion over the ideas and nuances in the text and someone commented "i know right, i hate it, i feel like we should just be able to have fun and do whatever we want" okay why don't you do that in your own corner. i'm trying to examine and learn about the story i like BECAUSE i like it! i want to better understand all of its intricacies and what makes it such a compelling story in the first place by reading what others have to say because i'd rather make a small effort than just not engage at all

[hansslut]

could u do jeonghan W a spit kink while having rough sex and slapping kink pls?

ignore if uncomfortable 💗💗

— LOVE TALK

tags: non!idol y.jh x fem!reader, reader is kinda a bitch sorry not sorry, spit kink, slapping kink, penetrative sex, unprotected sex ( don't be silly, wrap the willy !! ) mirror sex, rough sex, best friends to ...?, bruises, alcohol consumption, dirty talk, slight cheating? ( technically reader is in a situationship with mingyu but they're not exclusive so! and also reader is kinda annoyed w Mingyu cuz he's too vanilla ) jealous and possessive jeonghan that dislikes Mingyu becauseee i said so! ( everything is fiction pls don't attack me )

a/n: i wouldn't have originally posted this because i didn't really like the way i wrote it and it was a planned jeonghan bday special that i gave up halfway but decided that yolo idc anymore 😇 english isn't my first language!! ALSO TYSM FOR REQUESTING <3

Showing up to your best friend's birthday party and barely paying attention to him because you were too busy flirting with your situationship certainly wasn't the move.

Not when you could feel his eyes on you everytime you giggled a bit too much for it to be a genuine laugh, or everytime his hand would brush against your thighs.

Jeonghan wasn't a possessive man, he never really cared about who you dated or what you did with them, but somehow, seeing you with the man he disliked more than anything, Mingyu, triggered something in him.

What did you even find in him? Sure, he was tall, insanely handsome, the smoothest tan skin that he was sure was practically baby soft, and a build to kill for.

But this was his birthday party, what were you doing on another boy's lap?

Before he could continue on overthinking every move of yours, you approached him with a big smile on your glossy lips and your big eyes glimmering.

"Hannie! Happy birthday, i love you so muchh" You said in a whiny voice as you excitedly wrapped your arms around his neck, swaying from one side to another, making him chuckle and wrap one arm around your waist while the other was on your back.

"Hm, yeah? Love you too, baby. You drank a lil bit too much tho, didn't you?" He teased just to hear you whine a bit more and deny it, your words slightly slurred both from the alcohol and your giggles. "Me? Noo, just needed to drink a bit to survive Mingyu, he's a bit...too clingy for someone who doesn't even have the guts to ask me out" you rolled your eyes with a small scoff at the thought of the puppy boy that couldn't get his hands off of you, yet also couldn't express what he wanted either.

This intrigued your best friend, that raised an eyebrow at your words. Too clingy?. "I thought you liked your men clingy" Jeonghan laughed softly while looking you from head to toe, he couldn't deny that he felt a hint of satisfaction at hearing your annoyance with Mingyu.

"I mean, yeah, but he's also too vanilla for my liking. He's a sweet boy, but i just don't really get the hype" You crossed your arms under your chest, pushing it up a bit unconsciously, Jeonghan's eyes immediately darting down.

Before Jeonghan could answer though, a small whine left your lips as you remembered that you forgot to bring your best friend a gift. "Oh, by the way, Hannie, i forgot to buy you a gift, 'm sorry. Just wanted to make sure i was all pretty for tonight and forgot" you pouted and looked up at him through your eyelashes, making him bite his bottom lip. How could he ever get mad at you when you looked this innocent and destroyable in front of him?

"It's fine, don't sweat about it" his gentle voice reassured before taking onto a more mischievous tone. "Though, you do have something i'd like as a present" his lips grazed over the shell of your ear as his hand caressed the swell of your ass.

"Oh really? What is it?" You asked with an excited smile, completely oblivious to what he meant because of the alcohol in your system making you a little dumber than you already were ( as Jeonghan said )

And that's how you found yourself getting pounded on Jeonghan's bed, your legs pressed against your chest as you moaned and threw your head back, catching a glimpse of Jeonghan's smirk in the mirror as he made eye contact with you through it, your walls fluttering around him.

"Shit, pussy was made for me, huh? Look at you, just needing to get fucked by your own best friend" he said while watching his hard dick sliding in and out of your dripping wet hole. "Fucking bitch, god— do you think he'll fuck you the way i do?" He growled and slapped your cheek, making a few tears of pleasure and pain run down the sides of your face, your makeup now completely ruined.

"Jeon-Jeongha-aah! N-no, plea-" you could barely speak through the harsh fucking your pussy was enduring and the pleasure making your body numb, but your little mutters weren't enough for Jeonghan, as he picked up his pace even more.

He let out loud broken moans as he hammered his hips, wet smacking sounds echoing each time your hips met. "Tell me, do you think he'll ever be able to fill your little pussy up this way, hm?" He continued fucking you as hard as he could, striking your cheek even harder than before with his ring clad fingers, his fingers digging into your cheeks, forcing you to open your mouth as he spit into your mouth.

The second you felt his spit hit your tongue, you moaned loudly, the taste of vodka making you drop into a hazy state. "N-no! No hannie, m-mhm, no one can fuck me like you, please" you begged stupidly, already cock drunk, before feeling him pull out, making you whine.

As you went to complain, you felt his hands manhandle your body, forcing you on all fours on the bed, one hand gripping your chin and forcing you to look in the mirror as he started fucking you again, somehow even deeper than before.

"Good girl, wanna cum on my cock, huh? Wanna cum on my cock and make your Hannie happy?" He asked with a smirk as he bit his lip, feeling himself get closer to the edge as he saw you slipping away because of how obsessed you were with the feeling of him balls deep in you.

You nodded and gasped as you felt his fingers circling your swollen clit, making you hide your face in the bedsheets. "Yes, pleasepleaseplease! Hannie! I'm gonna cum, please- Fuck!" You cried out loudly as you came around his cock. The clench around him made him groan and cum deep inside your gripping pussy, throwing his head back and gulping when you pulsed around him, some of his cum dripping out of your pussy.

"Fuck, i guess i don't have to buy you a birthday gift anymore?" You said when you caught your breath, your voice still slightly air as you chuckled and felt him brush his fingers through your sweaty hair, pressing a kiss on your lower back while he giggled.

"Maybe if we go for round 2?" He smirked and looked at the clock on his bedside table, seeing that there were at least 20 minutes left before his birthday ended.

[royalarchivist]

I won't be posting a clip of it, but for those who are keeping up with Arkanis, Araldo (the current villain in Arkanis) just seemingly destroyed Denix and Amora, the little green and purple ghosties.

(Timestamp: 5h 11m for Pac's stream)

[captainsophiestark]

Don't Believe Everything You Read

Anthony Bridgerton x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: Bridgerton

Day Three Prompt: "I know you better."

Summary: A wannabe Whistledown is posting some awful rumors, but luckily for Anthony, his wife knows him well enough that she doesn't believe them.

Word Count: 1,247

Category: Angst, Fluff

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I sighed, tightening my hands on the book I was reading and trying to refocus on the words. I'd been having a nice, peaceful morning in Bridgerton house (a truly rare feat) until Eloise and Benedict had started some commotion near the door to the sitting room.

I'd married Anthony almost a year ago now, but I still hadn't learned how to block out his siblings quite as well as he did.

I managed to finish another paragraph before the commotion at the door distracted me again. I glanced at the pair out of the corner of my eye, and found them having a whispered argument, both glancing in my direction every few moments. I sighed. The rest of my story would have to wait until later.

Slowly and quietly, so as not to draw too much attention from the Bridgertons by the door, I makred my page in my book and set it down on the couch. I stood, drifting over toward Eloise and Benedict. Eloise had something in her hand, and it seemed to be the genesis of hers and Benedict's hushed argument. I got a little closer and recognized the shape and style of a scandal sheet.

Eloise and Benedict had gotten steadily more heated in their argument, and when Eloise flailed the paper in my direction, I snatched it out of her hand.

She and Benedict both whirled in my direction, but I'd made it halfway across the room before either of them got a chance to take the paper back.

"Don't read that!" Benedict shouted, chasing after me.

"You have a right to read it, but you might want a bit of a heads up first-"

I cut Eloise off by darting well out of their reach and reading one of the headlines of the scandal sheet.

Viscount Bridgerton Stepping Out On His New Wife?

I snorted and rolled my eyes. I quickly scanned the rest of the article, which went on to talk sensationally about all these rumors surrounding Anthony and a mysterious new mistress. Not a word of it was believable, of course, and at least one of the reports of Anthony strolling at night with a strange woman was just me, wearing new clothes the rest of the Ton hadn't seen yet. I barely made it to the end of the article before I started laughing.

I looked up to find Eloise and Benedict looking at me warily. I just shook my head.

"This is certainly no Lady Whistledown, is it?" The pair raised their eyebrows at me, still tensed like they were worried the laughter would turn to tears. I rolled my eyes. "Oh please, both of you. I know Anthony, I know this is ridiculous. Clearly whoever's writing this nonsense has too much free time on their hands. Or maybe not enough, since they couldn't come up with anything more realistic than this."

"So... you're not upset?" asked Eloise.

"No, El, I'm not. I know the man I married. This," I waved the paper around in my hand, "is just funny."

She and Benedict let out massive sighs as one.

"Well, that's certainly a relief," said Benedict. "I suppose Eloise and I were getting worked up for nothing."

"And likewise, you interrupted my reading for nothing," I said. "You're welcome to stay if you're quiet, but otherwise, I appreciate the laugh, but would appreciate more the return of my peaceful reading space."

"You have chosen the sitting room as your peaceful space," Benedict said. "That might not offer you the highest chance of remaining undisturbed."

"You make a fair point, but you also seemed to want to keep this scandal sheet from me completely, so I think today I can kick you out."

"Fair enough. Eloise?"

"I was supposed to meet Penelope before I found the scandal sheet with the mail. I'm already a bit late," she said with a wave over her shoulder as she headed out of the room. Benedict gave me a teasing bow, then followed his sister out of the room.

I sighed, then settled back in to my original place on the couch. I made it through another few pages before the door of the sitting room went flying open, the door making a loud bang as it slammed into the wall. I jumped and whirled around to find Anthony, looking like an absolute mess as he crossed the room in just a few strides before sliding to his knees before me. His hair stuck up at all angles and his clothes looked disheveled. He took my hands in his and started speaking before I could get a word out.

"My love, it's not true. Not a word of it. I love you, you must know that. I would absolutely never, ever go behind your back, would never even dream of spending time with anyone else-"

"Anthony, my god! Take a breath, what are you talking about?"

"I saw Eloise. She told me you'd read the scandal sheet sent out this morning. But you must know, it was a lie."

"Did you happen to wait for Eloise to tell you my reaction before you raced in here?"

"No. I worried... I didn't want to waste a moment before speaking with you. I promise, I would never do that to you. There's no one else and there never will be-"

"I know! Anthony, believe me, I know." I slid to the ground along with him, chest to chest as I kept his hands held tight in mine. "You think I'd believe some ridiculous wannabe Whistledown telling me you're a cheater? I know you better. I know you best. I know you would never do that to me, that I can trust you, no matter what. Even if Whistledown herself had reported it, I wouldn't have believed a word."

"...Truly?"

"Absolutely! We're rock solid, Anthony. I honestly wouldn't have married you if I didn't trust you."

He sighed, all the tension easing from his body as he slumped forward, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head on my shoulder.

"I cannot tell you how relieved I am to hear that."

"I'm glad we got your worry cleared up quickly," I said. "Although, if you had paused to talk to Eloise for another moment, she could've told you I started laughing the minute I read those ridiculous reports."

Anthony picked his head up to look at me, pulling me closer to him as he did.

"I'm much happier to have heard it from you directly. Especially since it means I can do this."

He leaned in, a grin on his face, and kissed me. I ran my hands up his back and into his hair, but pulled away after just a moment. Anthony moved to follow me, but I put a hand on his chest to stop him.

"Anthony, we are in the sitting room! Anyone could walk in on us at any moment."

"Good. Then they'll know the rumors are just that, and that nothing could ever come between the two of us."

"Anthony."

"Fine. This is an easy fix as well."

With that, he stood, picking me up and carrying me out of the room. I laughed, not even bothering to mention my book that now lay forgotten on the sofa. Anthony and I had other plans for the rest of our morning, it seemed, and I couldn't say I minded them. Anthony and I were happier than I ever thought we could be, and nothing was going to interfere with that, especially not some ridiculous gossip rag.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen

Bridgerton Taglist: @cherrybb-ily

[fuck-customers]

Idk why managers always try to indirectly threaten employees for something very minor and unproven/incorrect.

My job is a little odd as far as the cash drawer procedure. The way it works is that the opening manager double-checks the cash in the drawers in the morning and puts all the drawers in all the registers and leaves them until closing. The cashiers can choose whichever register we want to use for our shift, but we cannot open the drawer unless we have a cash transaction. If we need the drawer open because we accidentally gave the wrong change or something, we need to call a manager to unlock the drawer. Most days, multiple people end up using the same register.

Because of this (imo very bizarre) policy, sometimes shit gets fucked up. And the drawers end up a little bit off. Which, as someone who has worked a job where I was in charge of my own drawer in the past, this is very normal. Shit happens.

HOWEVER. Management keeps trying to "catch us in a lie" or some weird bullshit by asking us (or maybe just me) about minor transactions weeks or months afterwards.

For example, it's currently August 17 and I was asked if I remembered a transaction from July 8 where I may have accidentally given someone a 20 in change instead of a 10. No?? Who the fuck would remember that?

It's obvious that they're trying to get us to panic and confess or try to pin something big on us, but it's just dumb. Each employee has to sign into the register with their own individual employee number, so that's one way to confirm who made the mistake. And if there was a huge amount of money missing, they wouldn't even be talking to me on the sales floor, I'd be getting fired in the office. And mild inconsistencies in the drawer are very common. This is just a bizarre scare tactic that I don't fully understand the end goal of.

Posted by admin Rodney

[its-short-for-jackalope]

POV: the mysterious Miss Cavendish heard you gossiping about her at a gala (New York, 1835)

click for quality!

I don't have the best motivation when it comes to studying anatomy and whatnot so I thought I'd try making it more fun and interesting by practicing poses and looking at fashion at the same time. (And drawing my favorite characters, of course.) The pose is from Adorkastock and I found the dress on the Met's costume archive!

I actually drew this before Searcher came out and was waiting to post it until I had a small batch of them, but I'm having some art troubles at the moment and wanted to post something fun in the meantime. :]

[yuyu1024]

Can't sleep

Pairings: San x Y/N

Genre/tags: roommate

Warning: angst? smut 🔞 a little jealousy, probably kinks? fingering, fwb

~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 800

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

A/N: looong time no post 😅 been busy. Barely sleeping and barely... alive lol

This is just a drabble bcoz of this clip

Have a nice day!

-----------------------------------------------------

"San...?" You weakly knock on his door. "Are you still awake?" You whisper making sure he is the only one who can hear your voice behind the door.

Everyone is fast asleep after a night out and drinks earlier. Though you are a bit tipsy yourself from having a few drinks, you can't seem to fall into dreamland. The sound of the rain and thunder is keeping you awake.

Wearing nothing but his black pajama pants, San opens his bedroom door for you. "I told you to come straight to my room after you showered." He says as he gestures you to come in already.

"I thought I'd be K.O by now..." you crawl on top of his bed and immediately goes into your favorite spot.

"We both know you need me for you to fall asleep." He smiles as he closes the door behind him and locking it.

You pout. "I can't get used to this. What if you're not around... what will I do?"

Smiling with no teeth showing, San slides in the bed beside you and signals you to come closer.

"Why would I not be around?" He puts his arms around you as you scoot over.

And out of habit, you swing your leg over to him, snake your arms around his waist and lay your head on his chest. "So warm..." you mumble

"So... you came here just to hug me?"

You look up at him, with your puppy eyes. "Don't you want to cuddle?"

He chuckles. "Of course, I do." Then he lowers his face so he could kiss your pout. "But you know I want something else...besides the cuddling..." he whispers

His free hand goes straight to the point. To your sensitive bud that is poking out through your white shirt.

"Did you really walk from your room to mine... not wearing anything underneath?" His lips then goes to kiss you. A moan escapes your breathing when you felt him pinch your nipple. "What if one of them saw you? Hmm? Did you forgot your roommates are all boys?"

You don't have a chance to answer him. His hand already slid down to your heated core, barely giving you a chance to explain.

"Hmmm..." he inhales onto your skin. "You're wet already... I barely even touched you..."

You throw your head back, eyes close, as you feel his magical fingers tease you over your panties.

"Moaning does not answer my question darling..."

You spread your legs open, giving him full access. Your back is now laying on his bed and his hovering on you, watching you melt with just a few fingers caressing your clothed core.

"Did you forgot to speak?" He kisses your chin and then your lips. "If you don't answer me... I'll stop..."

Opening your eyes, "I... made sure they were alseep..."

"Really?"

You nod.

"What if they saw you? What will you do if one of them saw your tits through this thin material?" He is insane for making you go crazy. Before you could even think, his lowers his tongue so he could lick your buds through your shirt. Making them perky. "I know... we are still a secret... but you know me... What's mine is mine... I don't want any of them getting a glimpse of what is MINE."

He pushes the material on the side and puts a digit in you. You yelp, releasing a loud cry. That cry could wake everyone up. But your lucky that the loud thunder came crashing with you that it over powered your sound.

"Fuck... look at you... already fucked up by just my finger..."

"Oh... oooh... ahhh..." quick inhales and exhales with every push and pull.

"You like that huh? You like, me fingering you, every time you have a hard time falling asleep... hmm?"

"I... ah... I do...." you look at him with barely open eyes. "You finger fuck me so good that... ahhh... it calms me..."

"What about my dick? What do you feel if my dick is inside you?"

"Ahh... a-alive..." you bite your lower lips as you feel the sensation creeping in your gut. "San! I think... I'm going to..." before you could even finish, you came. San's hand is covered with the evidence. "Oh crap! I made a mess on your bed!" You panic as you see his blanket wet.

"Don't worry about it. It's just a blanket. I can put it in the laundry tomorrow morning.." he kisses you on the lips and then licks his finger. "Do you feel good now?"

Blushing, "Yes..."

"Good." He gets up to grab a warm wet towel from his bathroom to get you cleaned.

"You know... you act so different when it comes to sexy time and our daily lives."

"I do?" He arches a brow as he wipes you clean.

"You are the sweetest and gentle guy I know..."

"But...?"

"But... when it comes to this...or like sex... your a completely different person."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No..." you cup his face and gives him a long wet ass kiss. "It's sexy..."

[utilitycaster]

if you're up to elaborating, i would love to hear more about your complicated feelings on Taliesin's reads of this campaign, because that's something that's been itching my brain but I'd been having a hard time pinpointing why and I'm interested to hear your thoughts!

So I think it's best summarized in part as a combination of what was said in this post I just reblogged and these tags from @kerosene-in-a-blender on this post:

#yeeeaaaahhhh#ngl it seems like the characters and parts of the cast got so caught up in the potential moral dilemma of interventionist gods#that they forgot the gods of exandria aren't particularly interventionist#critical role#critical role spoilers#cr spoilers

Ashton feels like they learned something about their own arrogance and assumptions with Shardgate...and then it just vanished. And the fact that Taliesin genuinely read that as what was supposed to happen when like 3-4 authority figures, some of whom (Allura) have existed since Campaign 1 as People To Listen To had said "This is a bad idea" in plain language does give me pause because like...with all due respect, I get why Ashton would do this anyway! But come on, man, how do you hear that and not go "oh maybe it's a bad idea."

I don't want to read in too much to cooldown and 4SD either but I really do just feel that like...some of the cast, and Taliesin isn't alone in this but definitely seems to be using it the most in-game, have come under the impression that the purpose of this campaign is specifically to upend everything we knew...but that idea is just an assumption that is not supported, and as I've said repeatedly, there is no situation in which the world is not drastically changed - there's going to be either a hostile alien invasion, or a friendly alien migration, but either one will be monumental within Exandrian history, and that's not counting the establishment of the Accord/the collapse of local institutions in both the Dwendalian Empire and Bassuras/ If one cannot see any possibility for vast change within the world other than killing/driving out the gods, I don't know how to address this nicely. This is an uncreative and stupid position that I can't engage with because it's so stupid. It's like saying World War II didn't change anything in our world because at the end of it the US and USSR both still existed largely intact. So the over-focus on only one means of change in a way that feels based on an interpretation of this campaign's purpose that isn't even stated anywhere is telling and deeply frustrating.

As the second post indicates, it feels like some of the cast, Taliesin especially, got caught up in a theological argument of divine intervention that personally I had a great time debating in Hebrew school when I was 13, but is not ultimately true in Exandria (or reality, for that matter). On some level it's like maybe read some Harold Kushner and you'll calm down; it feels like you're arguing against like, some very real religious tenets (that are not exclusively Christian for once) but in a story where that's not actually a problem.

I'd throw in that Bells Hells sit in this awkward place of not being nobodies (or Nobodies) anymore but many are still acting like it and Ashton is at the forefront. Indeed, look at the name "the Nobodies." The problem is that Ashton is a Somebody now. He's not like, the ruler of a city, or an ancient dragon, or a god. But they're someone who has the personal raw power and the connections to survive an ill-considered second shard absorption. They're someone who is easily going to survive a fall out of a window, and who can't be bound into service. They are someone who has been entrusted by the world to assist in saving it, and they're too fixated on the gods not personally saving them to consider the vast potential harm to others, and I think it's not inherently out of callousness but rather that they've rather abruptly risen from "orphan criminal who expected to be dead by 30" to "guy tasked to save the world" but they have no option but to rise to the occasion, as the Raven Queen said. To change the world, he must change himself, and I feel like Taliesin, who often enjoys the idea of characters who don't change, is perhaps too wed to that concept for this particular narrative. And, for what it's worth: I've said it before that my personal preference is to keep the gods in place...but I would genuinely be MILES happier with a party that decisively had decided to kill the gods. I would not agree with their decision, but anything is better than this indecision. And since Ashton is pretty staunchly in favor of killing the gods and the rest of the party is varying degrees of strongly against (Orym, Braius), weakly against (Chetney, Fearne, Imogen, increasingly Laudna) and unsure but worried specifically about the mortal impact (Dorian) at some point it's like. Either say "I don't like this, but this is the party's plan" or leave. The decisiveness matters on an individual level too; because Bells Hells does not have good internal methods of resolving conflict for reasons stated above and below, at some point it's like. You have to give it up because no one will make you. If Ashton genuinely cannot or will not yield on this, either commit to betraying the party (totally valid, could be a great story) or have them leave; if Ashton does trust the party, have them reluctantly give in. A party-wide choice must be made and fast. The party is aimless because they are all pulling in different directions and it all cancels out, but Ashton is definitely contributing extensively to that agonizing stasis.

I suppose I should wrap up with what I've been saying a lot but should probably go on this post which is that a lot of the flaws in this campaign are not any singular person's fault. I really do feel like they began with the fact that Matt was clearly building to this specific story, and Bells Hells were not a party terribly suited to it in the first place and then were given an earlier narrative that, because it was heavily on rails to get them to the solstice setpiece, failed to give them the tools to become people who would be prepared for this endgame. I think Matt really wanted the cast to make the decisions here, and did not have a specific decision in mind, and now they're all finding that they're playing characters who can't make that decision. It's a culmination of a lot of smaller out-of-game choices that have failed to gel into a coherent whole. When I say the Raven Queen was right, and if they are not ready for this, to go home, I don't think the party should be tpk-ed or anything, but yeah, if they can't decide what to do when they are essentially tasked with killing the BBEG and diffusing the universe-shattering bomb, they should abdicate. I don't think a story in which the heroes fail is a bad one. I know Call of the Netherdeep has been a touchstone in the fandom throughout this campaign and there's one possible ending to that that's sort of unsatisfying, but the unsatisfying nature itself makes it an interesting story to me. I think this campaign ending with the party saying "we can't do this" is vanishingly unlikely, and complaints aside I think they will probably make a decision now but it all feels exceedingly doylist - Bells Hells are the characters the cast happens to be playing for this climactic final moment so I guess they will play those characters, and those characters will have to make a choice so that the final moment happens, but it doesn't feel terribly organic.

[paulmccartneyprostateorgasm]

hell0o. i dont know anything about the beatles but i just watched two of us on a whim and have become insane. fic recs please or just any content, news articles interviews idek. help me tumblr use paulmccartneyprostateorgasm

Sorry I haven't been ignoring this I've just been Thinking. The thing is that I've been into the beatles off and on since I was in middle school so it's hard for me to remember like. Beatles 101. But welcome to hell. Two of us is a cwazy intro to mclennon lol.

Ok so I guess the thing is really depends on how serious you wanna be with your idk beatles scholarship? Like at an absolute bare minimum I would skim some wikipedia articles so you know the major people/places/events/eras. There are a zillion beatles bios and docs most of them bad some of them vital. Unfortunately it haven't gone through any of those since I was a teenager so I can't really tell you which is which anymore. I'm sure plenty of other beatles blogs could provide resources if you want them.

Definitely watch get back and let it be. The movies the beatles were in as well but less essential I guess. Advanced Level McCartney Studies but watch give my regards to broad street it's a fascinating reflection of pauls psyche.

I'd look at blogs like @amoralto @thecoleopterawithana @undying-love for references. Probably more upper level stuff but all of pauls interviews are on the paul mccartney project website and I once went through and read all the interviews from the 80s. Full disclosure, the thing about mclennon that compels me the most is the tragedy of it all, so that's where I tend to fixate. But it was a fascinating experience because you can really see paul work through his regrets/grief/resentment/bitterness/pain about john in real time

A word of caution when reading interviews: both of these guys are incredibly untruthful at times. John, after the breakup in particular, could be very hot and cold, especially about paul so don't take everything he says at face value. Paul also lies a lot no matter what anybody tries to tell you he just gets away with it more because he's still alive and people feel bad calling him a liar

Songs. Their songs are very very important. I sometimes see people act like it's stupid to believe things based on the songs. To a point I get it art doesn't have to be literal yadda yadda. But you also gotta consider these guys communicated a Lot to each other through music from the time they were teenagers. Anyway I'd suggest listening to the songs for a more thorough understanding but just reading lyrics I guess is fine. I personally still like going through people's mclennon playlists and analyzing Why people think they're mclennon. Look at the lyrics, go to beatles bible and/or the paul mccartney project and learn about the context, etc.

Okay anyway on to fanfic. If this is your main concern just ignore all the above advice who cares. Also I'm a horrible resource because I always forget what I read. Um @forthlin @menlove @pauls1967moustache have good fics sorry I can never remember any of your ao3 names. Merseydreams (I think it is) has good fics. @crepesuzette2023 does a lot of fic recs I think. One thing that's always fun about beatles fics is when u think something is completely made up and you look it up and it's literally real like wtf. I'm also a bad reference because I'm heavily biased towards early days fics and post breakup fics.

Ok hope this helps even a little bit. Remember the most important rule is to have fun. People take this shit so seriously but it's literally the beatles. But please do fact check that always drives me nuts.

[elronds-meleth-nin]

Lemon Cakes

I just...I had an idea and I was emotional about S2E7 (beware spoilers!!) so I wrote a thing. We're not taking S2E8 into account, and we're assuming Brimby managed to escape from Eregion. Anyway, enjoy!

Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

Celebrimbor (RoP) x Half-Elven Healer!Reader

[A/N: This contains mild references/innuendo so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: Fluff, angst, yearning, mentions of blood, mentions of injuries, minor descriptions of the same, spoilers for RoP S2E7, crying, kissing, both think their feelings are unrequited but they're very requited, nudity, mild references to male anatomy.

~*~

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts and fears that I didn't bother noting where I was going. All of Eregion was safe, so it didn't truly matter which pathway I took. However, it still would have been wise to do so.

Wisdom wasn't exactly the foremost concern in my mind at that moment. Court whispers, idle gossip, occupational politics...those had unfortunately taken center stage as I hurried through - was I in Eregion's gardens? Grudgingly, I supposed that the hedges were a dead giveaway that I'd somehow wandered into them without realizing. I'd been drawn to them countless times over the decades that I'd lived in the city. Ending up there should not have been a surprise.

My mind dwelled - foolishly, perhaps - upon my worries. How was I supposed to ignore what they were saying? It wasn't as if the other healers were trying particularly hard to hide the fact that they despised me for my heritage. After all, in their eyes a Peredhel - one of Half-elven descent - could never do as well as someone who possessed only Elven blood. I'd trained under several of the best healers known to Elvendom, but still that was not enough for the wagging tongues attached to judgmental minds.

All I wanted was to help heal the injured, but because of my status, I was relegated to organizing supplies and sweeping the floors of the infirmary. Had I been given the chance to prove my worth and demonstrate my training, I might have been able to advance further. As it stood, however, I only had a few of the common families of Eregion who trusted me enough to tend to their wounds and ailments.

Despite my situation, I made an effort never to complain. I took what opportunities were offered and made do. After all, if I had complained, not only would I have been seen as ungrateful, but I would've been proven to be, in the eyes of those who disliked me, even weaker than I was already perceived to be. I was allowed to remain in Elven territory. Should that not be enough for one lowly Peredhel?

That didn't stop me from feeling frustrated, though. Overhearing the last of the other healers' insidious comments after a long day was what broke my resolve. As I wandered through the maze of shrubbery, hot tears rolling down my cheeks, I hated that I'd let them bother me this much. Was I truly so weak-minded that I could not handle a few insults? Surely, I must be.

"Are you alright?" A warm but tentative voice called, and I tried to quickly wipe away my tears. Whoever had been kind enough to check on me didn't need to be bothered by a weepy Elleth.

"Yes, of course," I called as I posted on a faux smile and turned to find– "Lord Celebrimbor! Forgive me, hir-nin."

I began to drop into a low, deferential curtsy, but a gentle hand grasped my shoulder, stopping me.

"Please, my lady, there is nothing you have done which requires an apology." Having only seen him from a distance, I'd never spoken to Lord Celebrimbor before. I hadn't expected his voice to be so kind. I looked up, and he smiled at me.

I had never been looked at with such radiant warmth in all my life. Words utterly failed me. I should have said something - anything - but I could not seem to speak.

The light of the setting sun created a golden aura around Lord Celebrimbor's head, making him look like a heavenly being sent by the Valar. For a moment, I forgot all about my frustration and grief.

Those closest to him must scramble for even a few moments with him. How could they not? The greatest of the Elven smiths was also the most attractive Elf I'd ever met.

"There we are," he murmured as my eyes met his. "Would you perhaps like to join me?"

For the first time, I noticed he was holding a plate of lemon cakes. He'd likely come out to the gardens to relax with a sweet treat, only to find a distraught mess instead.

"O-Oh, thank you, my lord, but, truly, I do not wish to intrude," I stammered, but he let out a gentle laugh that made my heart twist in my chest.

"I will not force you, of course, but you should know that I would welcome your company," he said, glancing between myself and the lemon cakes. "Over the years, I have found that something sweet can help lift the spirit. Besides, I don't think I should eat all of these myself. My tailor would be quite cross if he had to replace my entire wardrobe."

I doubted a figure like his could ever be diminished by the insignificance of a few lemon cakes, but the need for friendly companionship was so great within me that I allowed myself to take his not-so-believable excuse at face value.

"Only if you're certain, my lord." His smile widened, and he eagerly led me to a bench nestled between a pair of pink flowering dogwood trees. Once we were seated, I finally took a moment to observe my companion. Wearing deep blue velvet robes, delicately embroidered with beaded leaves and vines, Lord Celebrimbor of Eregion sat beside me with all the gravitas and dignity of a king. His gaze was as soft as his touch had been upon my shoulder.

But he was a lord, and one of the most skilled Elven smiths in history. I was only a Peredhel. No matter how handsome I found him, common people like me did not end up with nobility.

Distracting me from my sobering thoughts, Lord Celebrimbor offered me one of the little iced cakes. I couldn't help but smile at the slices of candied lemon decorating the top.

"I must admit," he murmured as I gratefully took one, "that sweets are somewhat of a weakness of mine. The bakers whose establishments I frequent across the city have become rather aware of the fact that this variety in particular are my favorite. I fear they quite effectively know how to convince me to part with my coin."

That fit him quite well, in my opinion. The brightness of the citrus, the sweetness that tempered the flavor...nothing could have suited his personality more fully. Those cakes were light and sunny, as was he.

After we'd eaten in peace for a time, conversing quietly between ourselves about everything and nothing, Lord Celebrimbor looked at me curiously.

"If you don't wish to discuss it, I promise you are under no obligation to do so, but is there someone to whom I should speak in your defense?" I looked at him in askance, and he gave a small smile. "'Tis heinous behavior to bring such a lovely lady to tears. If there is someone who requires a stern speaking to, please consider my services in that department most humbly offered."

His gaze was so earnest and concerned that I had to avert my own lest I tear up again. None had ever offered to come to my defense before, opting instead to suggest that I grin and bear it, or that I develop a thicker skin as comments like that were to be expected for one of such low, unworthy birth.

"You are very kind, my lord, but, truly, you needn't trouble yourself." I barely dared to look back over at him after a moment's pause. "After all these years, I should have developed a thicker skin."

Celebrimbor wiped his fingers on his handkerchief and leaned a little closer to me, clearly engrossed.

"About what, my lady?"

I hesitated. It was perhaps vain, but I did not relish seeing the kindness in his eyes melt away when he realized with what sort of person he'd been conversing. But there was nothing for it. One did not simply ignore the Lord of Eregion when he asked you a question, especially not when he'd been kind enough to offer you food, comfort, and company. As much as I wanted to run, I remained seated.

"I am Half-elven, my lord," I nearly whispered, dropping my eyes to my lap where I was wringing my hands nervously. "My heritage is...somewhat of a common topic of discussion, especially with regards to my abilities."

"Abilities?" He asked gently, and I nodded my head.

"I am a healer, my lord. I was trained by some of the most skilled Elves I have had the fortune to know," I elaborated. "Truly, I do not mind helping where I can, and if it were a simple matter of my skills not being necessary, I would not be quite so frustrated, but..."

I trailed off, unsure of how to express the rest of my thoughts without sounding pathetic and childish.

"...But you've been overlooked because of who your parents were," he finished sounding somber. "My lady, I am truly sorry that you have had to endure such unjust treatment. None should behave so dishonorably, especially not here in Eregion. After all, in Lindon, our High King's herald is Half-elven. Ability has nothing to do with blood, as my people should be aware. I daresay you've likely heard some unworthy remarks, as well, for which I can only apologize. My people should know better."

I expected pity or disdain when I finally dared to look up at him again, but instead, I found only a reassuring smile and warm eyes skimming my face.

"Thank you, hir-nin, for your kindness. There was no need for you even to speak with me, much less be in my company, but I am so very grateful that you did."

Celebrimbor's smile widened, and he caught one of my hands between both of his. I couldn't help but marvel at how large they were, and how strong the calloused pads of his fingers felt. He must work quite diligently at his craft.

"It has been my honor, I assure you."

He paused, looking unsure as if considering whether he should say what was on his mind.

"Do you know, my lady, I have seen you walking in the gardens before. I should have wished you a good day or stopped to say at least 'good morning,' but I...well, I did not wish to intrude upon your peace," he said, and I looked at him in awe. "You always seem so relaxed when you are amongst nature, strolling through the starlight. Oft in the evenings, I take a break upon the balcony of my tower, and I have the loveliest view of the moonlight cascading down upon you."

He'd seen me before? I hadn't been aware that he knew of my existence, much less remarked upon the walks I took to clear my head.

"I wish I had mustered my courage earlier, however, since I cannot change my prior cowardice, I would like to focus instead upon the future. Might I have the honor of knowing you better?"

How could I have possibly refused? Why would I? That evening had been the start of a friendship that I'd never expected to have. Celebrimbor was always courteous and warm with me, allowing me to see his forge and discussing his work with me.

He never admitted to any involvement, but I suspected that he was the reason why barely a week after our initial conversation I was allowed - finally - to put away my broom in the healers' halls and begin treating patients. Even the cruel whispers and rumors died down to only the most occasional instance.

The Lord of Eregion shared my joy when my skills were begrudgingly praised, delighting especially when one of Lindon's visiting generals bore witness to my work. He was so pleased with how I'd patched up a small squad of his soldiers that I'd received a letter of thanks from the High King himself by royal messenger not long after the general had reported home safely.

Celebrimbor had been so excited for me that he'd sent his smiths and apprentices home early and opened a bottle of wine in celebration. That night, it had been particularly difficult to tamp down my growing admiration for the gorgeous Ellon who'd been so kind to me. Undoubtedly, he'd never feel more for me than friendship, but my heart did not seem to grasp that particular fact. When he finally walked me to my door and bid me sweet dreams, I knew for certain that I was doomed to love one who could never return my feelings. I was content, however, to simply be around him.

As the years passed, I slowly climbed the ranks of Eregion's healers, eventually earning the grudging respect of my peers, and the one person who had believed in me from the start seemed no less proud of me than he had from the beginning. It was not uncommon, of a free evening, to find me curled up in the uppermost room of Eregion's tower, discussing my lord's latest projects or ideas, or sharing herbal tea and something sweet from one of Eregion's bakers.

Eventually, after about a century's residence in Celebrimbor's city, and after having spent about three quarters of that as his friend, he summoned me to his tower during one of my shifts in the healers' halls. That, in itself, was not uncommon. He and his smiths were rather prone to accidents, especially given the nature of their work. Celebrimbor always asked for me personally, and as this time was no exception, I gathered a bag of medical supplies and hurried to see what might have happened.

The Lord of Eregion had been quite consumed by his latest project, and, though it was a rare occurrence, he had not discussed it once with me. I'd thought it strange that he was being so secretive, but after all, he was the Lord of Eregion first and foremost. He owed me no explanations. I thought nothing of it.

When I arrived, however, instead of seeing the forges blazing and the smiths all chattering about their work, I found only Lord Celebrimbor seated beside one of the windows, holding a letter in his hand. His forges were stone cold, and a sad, worried sort of expression played across his face.

"My lord?" I called quietly, hovering in the doorway. I felt as though I was intruding upon something private to which I ought not be a witness, but he had summoned me. I could not keep him waiting. At my quiet question, he looked up and plastered what I easily recognized as a forced smile across his lips. "You asked for me?"

"I did, mellon-nin," he said, gesturing for me to come closer. "Come, sit with me."

I did as he asked, setting my bag at my feet and looking at him curiously as I perched beside him on the divan.

"Are you hurt?" I could see no evidence of an injury, but he'd hidden them quite well before.

"Oh, no. No, forgive me. I hope I did not worry you," he said patting my arm gently. "Actually, this morning I received a rather important letter from High King Gil-Galad."

Silently, he held the folded parchment out to me, and I accepted it carefully. The King's seal was unmistakable upon the outer fold. My eyes skimmed the neat, swirling hand in which he'd penned his missive, and I had to reread it twice before the meaning fully sank in.

Wide-eyed I looked over at Celebrimbor whose smile now reached his eyes. He still looked rather sad, though.

"The High King wishes me to come to Lindon?" I asked feeling rather stunned. "But...why me?"

"From what I understand, he has heard many positive things about you and your skills as a healer from his soldiers and several of his friends," Celebrimbor said as I handed the letter back to him. "He wishes you to train a group of healers so that Lindon will be in good hands as Eregion is."

I was speechless. Only just managing to keep my jaw from dropping, I blinked uncomprehendingly a few times.

"You come highly recommended to him. In fact, he asked for my opinion, and I told him the truth: that you are one of the most skilled healers of your age that I have ever encountered. Your bedside manner puts your patients at ease, and you are able to tend their wounds calmly and skillfully," Celebrimbor continued, setting the letter aside and grasping my hands. "There is no one better for the position, I assure you. You will excel in Lindon as you have here."

Finally forcing my voice to work again, I found myself stammering.

"I...Did the King specify how long I would need to remain there?"

"He said it might take two years, perhaps three," he answered, and as if he could read my thoughts, Celebrimbor tilted my chin up and looked into my eyes. "Eregion will still be here when you return. In any case, it was not a request. It was an order. You shall need to leave in the morning."

"That soon?" I asked feeling nerves start to bubble up within me. I was excited for the opportunity, of course, and honored beyond words that Gil-Galad had asked for me personally, but...the thought of leaving Celebrimbor and my home at such short notice frightened me.

My lord's arms wrapped around me, drawing me into a tight embrace which I returned wholeheartedly. Burying my face against his shoulder, I savored the feeling of being so close to him. I would not get the opportunity again for a long while.

"Stay here with me tonight," he murmured against my scalp, and I nodded my head silently in agreement. The pair of us barely let go of each other, and when we awoke cuddled together on the divan with the morning light streaming across our sleepy faces and rumpled clothes, there were no sufficient words to express all that we felt at this forced parting.

The final glimpse of Eregion's gates as I passed through them atop my horse, flanked on either side by guards, felt terribly final.

--

Lord Celebrimbor and I had corresponded via messengers since my arrival at Lindon, but shortly after his new forge had been built, his letters had all but ceased. I tried not to let my heartbreak show, but the High King, who had quickly caught on that my feelings for Celebrimbor were slightly more than friendly, noticed immediately.

After one of my meetings with him discussing the progress of his healers-in-training, he called me to a halt as I prepared to take my leave. His herald - my new and very dear friend, Elrond - was still there, but courteously acting as though he could hear neither of our voices as he packed away a stack of parchment.

"My lady, I have no doubt that he is simply caught up in his work," Gil-Galad said as he offered me a softer look than I was accustomed to seeing upon his regal features. "Given how Lord Celebrimbor has spoken of you in the past, he would not give you up so frivolously."

If only I believed he was right. Oh, I did not believe Celebrimbor to be cruel enough to do so, by any stretch of the imagination. I did not, however, believe myself to be important enough to deserve his attention, even after so many years of friendship.

Instead of voicing such concerns, however, I merely thanked the King for his reassurance, bowed my head respectfully, and went back to my duties.

A few silent months later, however, Elrond sought me out in the healers' halls and led me to an urgent meeting with the King. Beside a small table stood High King Gil-Galad and one of his commanders.

"Thank you for coming, my lady," the King said ushering me to a seat. He dismissed his commander, and I looked at him in askance. "I would not normally trouble you, but I'm afraid this concerns you."

I glanced up at Elrond and found a concerned, slightly guilty expression on his face.

"My lady, we believe that Sauron is in Eregion," the King said, and I felt as though I'd been slapped. "His goal is to create rings of power similar to the trio we already have. Naturally, to do this he would need a skilled smith..."

He trailed off, allowing me to come to the conclusion myself, and when I did, my stomach churned.

"Celebrimbor," I breathed, and he nodded his head.

"We are gathering our armies now, preparing to defend the city against another threat, but as we do so, we will also attempt to remove Lord Celebrimbor from Sauron's influence." Much of what the King said afterward was a blur. When he came to my particular duties as a healer, I paid close attention, noting all the preparations which would need to be made rather rapidly.

Before Elrond could leave, I dragged him into a hug and made him promise to be safe. Not long after, the rest of Lindon's army departed, and I was filling my time with work to distract myself from my fears.

--

Waiting for the High King and his soldiers to return was tantamount to torture. I had friends who were risking their lives in this conflict, of course, but even more than that, the fate of Eregion terrified me. The city had been my home for nearly a century, and I was naturally concerned for its people, but I was even moreso for Celebrimbor.

If I dwelled for too long upon that distinction, my own selfishness closed around my throat like a vice, forcing conflicted tears to well up in my eyes. When I thought of his kindness and all that he'd done for me, however, I found it easy to blink them back. I could not find it within myself to feel guilty for my concern over one so gentle and warm.

So, I waited with the other healers, giving orders where I could for casualty preparations, ensuring all of the supplies were well-ordered and accessible to all of us. Our patients would have traversed a long road home, victory or no, and we did not wish to prolong their discomfort any more than was necessary.

Horns blared at the gates a few days later, and we rushed out to receive the soldiers, injured and exhausted as they doubtless were. Fear scraped away inside me when I contemplated how many might have been lost when I saw how somber the mood was.

Tamping down my personal feelings, I moved with the swarm of healers, pulling aside all who were injured and beginning to treat the most serious problems first. We'd been working for only a few hours when a hand landed on my shoulder.

Elrond, dirty, defeated, and utterly bereaved stood at my side.

"Mellon-nin," he breathed, and I wrapped my arms around him. He embraced me fiercely, silent sobs wracking him as he buried his face in the crook of my neck. "Eregion..."

My heart constricted at his tone.

"The city fell," he mourned, and I felt a rising sort of panic.

"Did any escape? The people? The soldiers?" I asked, hesitating before I added, "Lord Celebrimbor?"

His nod against my shoulder brought tears to my own eyes. When he pulled back, he took a deep breath to steady himself.

"The High King wishes to see you. Immediately. You will want to bring supplies with you," Elrond murmured, but I caught sight of blood-soaked fabric peeking out from beneath his armor. I waved one of my best healers over.

"Thank you, mellon-nin. I am glad beyond words to see you returned. I'll go to the King now, but you are not to leave until your injuries have been seen to. No arguments, darling herald."

He gave me a damp smile and acquiesced to my demand after stealing another quick hug.

Tucking into a bag everything that I would need to treat potential injuries inflicted upon the High King, I rushed down the corridors on the heels of the soldier sent to guide me. He would not have sent for me unless it was serious. Instead of finding the King inside, however, he was just outside the door speaking with one of his guards. Gil-Galad dismissed both guards almost as soon as I arrived.

"Thank you for coming with such haste," he said, and as I took him in, he looked dirty, bruised, but otherwise unharmed.

"I was told you required a healer, Your Grace."

"Not I, though I did send for you. Your patient is within. You needn't knock," he said gesturing to the door to his guest's rooms. I made to go inside, but he caught my elbow, drawing me to a gentle stop. "My lady, I should warn you...'tis Lord Celebrimbor."

My heart nearly beat out of my chest with worry.

"How bad is it?" I rasped, and the High King's expression softened.

"Breathe. It is not life-threatening." I nearly fainted with relief, sagging heavily against the wall and allowing my eyelids to flutter shut. Gil-Galad placed a comforting hand upon my shoulder. "He was being held and manipulated by Sauron. He was chained to his forge with unbreakable restraints. The only way he could escape was to...remove one of his thumbs."

My eyes snapped up to meet his in utter horror at what Celebrimbor had been forced to do simply to preserve his own life. Finally, I forced myself to draw a steadying breath.

"Is there any swelling? Inflammation?" I managed to ask, and the King shook his head.

"No, there have been no complications thus far," he said, but he hesitated a moment. "I called for you, not because of the severity of his injury, but because he needs you. He rested only fitfully in his saddle. He called out for you...wept in his sleep."

Me? He'd called out for me?

"You are the greatest comfort he could have, my lady. He may not yet know that he has your love, but he needs it nonetheless."

I straightened as heat spread across my face. Gil-Galad had known of my feelings for Eregion's lord for some time, but we'd never discussed it so openly before. Oh, certainly he'd eluded to the subject before, giving subtle hints and encouragement when our correspondence effectively ended, but this...

"Thank you, Your Grace," I said in the steadiest voice I could manage. I hoped he understood that I didn't just mean for the reassurance. When he bowed his head and took his leave, I faced the door, steeling my nerves as I pulled it open–

And my breath froze in my chest. There, kneeling upon the ground in the middle of the floor, staring out into the sunlit garden, was Lord Celebrimbor. He seemed not to notice my entry. Closing the door behind me, I walked slowly over to him. Seeming both penitent and relieved, Eregion's lord remained stationary as the golden light of day poured across his skin. Dirt, grime, and dried blood covered him, but he was still the loveliest sight I'd ever laid eyes upon.

"My lord?" I murmured quietly, setting aside my bag as I knelt beside him, and with a slow blink, he roused himself from whatever thoughts had so captivated him. Slowly, he turned to face me, and amidst the dirt on his face, there were tear tracks.

His lips parted in surprise when he saw me, and when I offered him a gentle smile, he lifted his uninjured hand, caressing my face as if he could not believe that I was truly there.

I leaned more solidly into his touch, closing my eyes against the rising emotions within me, and a broken sob of my name tore from his lips.

"Y-You're here. You're real," he croaked as he began to weep. I drew him into my arms without a moment's hesitation. Clutching at me as if I might disappear, Celebrimbor fell to pieces in my arms. I could do no more than whisper reassurances and press gentle kisses atop his head.

An Ellon as sweet as he did not deserve to feel as terrible as he clearly did. The urge to smite Sauron - to rend him in half with my bare hands - grew with every tremble of my lord's frame beneath my hands.

In fragments, he spilled the story to me, explaining all that had happened between himself and Sauron - including how he found fragments of one of his letters to me in the corner of his forge where the manipulative bastard had thrown it. Hushing Celebrimbor's subsequent apologies, I ran my fingers gently through his hair, trying to soothe him.

Eventually, his tears dried up, his breathing became steadier, and he lifted his head from my shoulder. Without thought, he cupped my face with both hands. A grimace twisted his features and he began to whisper shame-filled apologies as he pulled his injured hand away.

I caught his wrist carefully, and pressed my own fingertips gently against his lips to silence him. Celebrimbor looked stunned even as his cheeks reddened.

"Have you forgotten that I am a healer, my lord? You needn't apologize. I have seen and treated much worse." His shoulders dropped a small measure at my reassurance, and I turned my attention to his poor hand. At least the cut had been clean. It was already beginning to heal quite nicely, but it would still need a little help. "Truthfully, this is doing quite well. Might I make a suggestion?"

"Anything," he breathed, and the sincerity in his eyes tore at my heart.

"It would be wise for me to give this a preliminary wash, then cover it in a protective layer so that we can get the rest of you clean. Afterward, I should be able to patch you up much easier, but only if that is agreeable to you," I said, but he was already nodding his head.

"Yes. Yes, entirely agreeable," he said beginning to smile tentatively again. "I shall humbly submit to any treatment you think is necessary."

My breath hitched in my throat. How could he still be so trusting even after everything that had happened? I vowed to myself that I would never abuse his trust. I loved him too much to even consider such treachery.

"Let me fetch a basin and send for a bath to be drawn, and I shall be right back," I promised, and he drew a shaky breath as I stood.

I was only apart from him for a few moments, but when I returned with the basin of water and the supplies, he looked up at me like he'd never been happier to see me. The joy radiating from him even beneath the dirt and dried blood covering his skin relaxed a ball of tension that had resided in me since I heard about the threat to him and his city.

He was here. He was alright. And Sauron had not broken that which was most important: his spirit.

Setting everything beside us, I laid a towel across my lap and gently pulled his sleeve back past his elbow. Shuffling a little closer so that neither of us would strain ourselves in the reach, I began to clean his wound, as well as his arm so that he needn't get it wet during his bath.

As I worked, we fell into a companionable silence that was only broken when a few strands of hair fell into my face having escaped my hair ribbon. With a touch lighter than a smith should ever have, Celebrimbor moved them behind my ear, his large, warm fingertip brushing over the point.

He'd never done that before.

I looked up to thank him, and I was taken aback by how close we were to each other. My nose was barely an inch from his. I swallowed heavily, forcing my heart, racing though it was, to remain silent.

"Thank you, my lord," I whispered. His breath caressed my skin, and I forced myself to look back down and finish my task. He did not need to be bothered with a childish infatuation. Why, oh why was professional distance so difficult to maintain around him?

Wrapping a few protective layers over the freshly cleaned wound, I tied it off carefully. It was a bit looser than I would normally make a dressing, but it was only meant to last long enough for a bath.

A knock sounded at the door as I finished up, and that, thankfully, was the announcement that it was ready - apparently the speed was thanks to High King Gil-Galad's foresight. He'd ordered the water drawn and heated when he sent for me, to be delivered when I asked.

Once we were both on our feet, however, Lord Celebrimbor seemed to freeze, nerves playing across his features.

"Is something amiss? Are you in pain?" I asked, but he'd shown no sign of it thus far. He drew a deep breath, his cheeks turning a bright red.

"You needn't do this if you...if this causes you discomfort, I'm certain I could manage." He sounded so embarrassed. At my confused expression, however, he elaborated. "I do not wish to be improper. To force you to see...well, more of me than is decent."

The precious man. Was that all he was worried about?

"There is no need for shame," I murmured, "in my occupation, nudity is as common as leaves on trees. I shall touch you no more than is necessary, and the moment you wish for privacy, you need only tell me, and you shall have it."

Celebrimbor seemed relieved, which wasn't surprising since Sauron had been holding him captive. I doubted he'd been left alone for even a moment.

"I...do not wish to inconvenience you, but I...don't think I..." he stammered as he tried to compose his thoughts. "Washing might be difficult on my own. I should be able to do some myself, but the rest..."

Holding his good hand with my own, I gave him a gentle smile.

"It is no inconvenience, and you should not be made to feel guilty for daring to ask for help." After a brief hesitation he nodded his head.

"In that case, thank you, híril vuin. I would be glad of your assistance," he said allowing me to lead him to the bathroom.

Carefully, I untied the laces of his tunic, easing the fabric from his injured side and apologizing every time I even expected him to twitch in discomfort. His bare chest ought not to have surprised me; he was used to laboring in his forge. His defined musculature was well-earned. Once he was down to just his leggings, he blushed brightly, and he asked if I might step out while he got into the bath. He would still need help washing, so I would need to return, but I could easily grant him that.

"Thank you, my lady. I realize that it is silly for me to ask, but..." he shrugged and trailed off bashfully.

"It is not silly, especially if such a simple thing would help you feel comfortable. Oh, by the way, have you eaten today?"

"I believe so, but...several hours ago." Nodding quietly to myself, I formed a plan.

"Then, I shall have some food sent up. I'll just be in the other room, so when you're ready to wash, call for me," I ordered, and he nodded his head. "Do not be afraid to ask for help should you need it before then."

I expected him to protest, but he agreed easily, allowing me to pat his bare shoulder before I stepped out.

Locating the servant that Gil-Galad had assigned to us, I asked for a dinner tray, along with a plate of lemon cakes and a pot of herbal tea - a sweet combination that I knew Lord Celebrimbor favored.

Though the cakes would not heal his thumb, they were exactly what he needed to lift his spirits. Something familiar that might bring him some comfort.

Ducking back into the bathroom when he called for me, I saw that my patient now lay with his eyes closed and his head resting against the rim of the tub behind him. Injured hand aside, he looked like one of the Valar lounging after a battle - a beautiful, larger-than-life figure in resplendent repose. I almost hated to disturb him.

He'd clearly managed to clean his face and part of his upper body, but his hair and back needed a little attention, along with his right arm. As I approached, I did my best to keep from looking lower than his neck, staunchly ignoring the part of my mind that was too focused on how good he looked while wet.

I moved a stool beside the tub and picked up the washcloth that he'd draped over the rim. When I looked back up at him, Celebrimbor's eyes were already watching me as a small smile stole over his lips.

"May I touch you, mellon-nin?" I asked, keeping my voice low so as not to disturb the calm spell that seemed to have fallen over us both. Had his pupils blown wider, or was that my own wishful thinking?

"Of course, you may. You, of all people, need never ask," he murmured.

"If you want me to stop at any point, tell me, and I swear to you–"

Celebrimbor grasped my hand.

"I know, mîr-nin," he said leaning forward until his damp forehead could meet mine. "I trust you. You have never hurt me, nor would you ever do so."

Drawing in a shaky breath, I allowed my eyelids to flutter shut. He'd never called me his jewel before. Surely, that was a sign of his exhaustion. Celebrimbor always had become softer and more prone to displaying platonic affection when he'd worked for too long, ignoring his own growing fatigue. As much as I wished it had meant more, I knew it never would, but as our breath mingled in this stolen moment, I felt a flicker of hope.

When we eventually pulled far enough apart for me to help him wash up, I tried to focus on the task at hand, rather than the feeling of my lord's muscles beneath my soapy fingers. Although, admittedly, I did allow myself the indulgence of giving him a small scalp massage as I washed his hair, combing my fingertips through his locks until not a single tangle impeded their flow.

Eventually, the water lost its heat, and I fetched a bathrobe and some towels from the side, bringing them closer for his use.

"If you would like me to step out..." I began to offer, but Celebrimbor shook his head.

"No. Truly, I should not have sent you out before. I was...Well, I feel much more like myself, now," he said, "and I have never been afraid of you seeing all of me. You know more of me than any other."

With a gentle smile, I moved the stool I'd been sitting on back to its place in the corner, draped a towel over my arm, and offered my lord my hands. He didn't hesitate to take them. Once he was on his feet, I glanced down to help him step out of the tub and–

Where toned thighs met, I was not at all surprised to see that his endowment was as attractive as the rest of him. And suitably sized.

My eyes met his, and I had no doubt he could tell I'd looked. Professional distance aside, I couldn't help giving him a mischievous smile.

"As I said before: you have no reason to be ashamed," I murmured, hoping that he could hear that which I was too afraid to say - the opinion which I, a mere healer, had no right to hold.

In no time at all, Celebrimbor was dry and wrapped in a soft set of silk robes. We thought it best, as he would be recovering from his ordeal for the next few days at least, to forego higher maintenance garments.

"Lemon cakes?" Celebrimbor asked as he took a seat on the divan that I'd moved farther into the sunlight - he seemed to savor it before. He looked between me and the tray as if attempting to solve a problem. "They're my favorite, but...how did you...?"

I couldn't help but smile as I crushed some herbs in a mortar and pestle, adding in some oils to bind the mixture together.

"You mentioned it the day we met," I answered. That day was one of my most pleasant memories, despite how it had started. The scent of dogwood blossoms still lingered in my memory as sweetly as perfume, lulling me back to that day as gently as a spring breeze.

"But...that was decades ago. Why would you remember something so trivial?" He asked, and looked up at him. Disbelief colored his features along with something softer - something I'd never dared to imagine seeing upon his face.

"Because it's something about you," I admitted as my heart hammered in my chest. Dropping my gaze back to the herbs, I tried to act as though I was still completely focused on creating the poultice my lord's hand required instead of my poor racing heart. Dropping my voice to a whisper, I both hoped and did not hope that he would hear me. "Everything about you matters to me."

Carrying the mortar and pestle over once I'd gathered myself, I took a seat beside him and lifted his injured hand.

"Forgive me. This will sting for a moment, but the oils should soothe the pain away quite quickly," I stated. With all the care I could muster, I scooped out part of the light green substance and dabbed it ever-so-lightly upon his wound. He didn't even flinch as I worked.

Truly, I should not have been surprised. Celebrimbor was a smith. He was used to injuries, even if they were not on par with...well, this. I'd set a broken bone in the same hand merely a decade before I was sent to Lindon, and even then he'd only let out a slight hiss of pain. Pride stabbed through me. Of course he'd escaped Sauron. How could he not with such strength?

My vision blurred as I reached for the gauze and cloth that I was meant to be covering the wound with, but I didn't truly process that I was crying until Celebrimbor brushed my tears away with his uninjured hand.

"What are these tears? Am I not meant to be the one in pain?" He asked giving me the same sweet smile he'd offered the day we met.

Turning just far enough to kiss his wrist, I tried to reassure him.

"I'm not in pain. I am more relieved than I have been in all my life." That was far too close to an admission for my taste, but after coming a hair's breadth from losing him, did I really want to stay silent for much longer? Carefully, I began wrapping his hand, ensuring that it was not too loose or too tight.

When I tied off the end over his palm, however, it occurred to me that after all he'd been through, Celebrimbor did not need a declaration of that sort after such a harrowing experience. He just needed a friend to be there with him. As that was all I would likely ever be to him, I smiled up at him and asked him how it felt.

"Perfect," he murmured in a lower, slightly rougher voice than before. Had I caused him more pain? Was the mix of oils wrong?

No. No, breathe. I'd treated Lord Celebrimbor before, and though he was the embodiment of kindness, he would've told me if something felt wrong. Perhaps he was tired? Yes, that was it. His long journey must be catching up with him. I'd noted the same when he was in the bath, so surely that was the only explanation. Carefully, I wiped my hands clean.

"We should change this in the morning and again before you go to bed tomorrow," I murmured, forcing out the professional advice that was so familiar to me. "We'll carry on like that for a few days, and see how you are healing as time progresses."

"As my healer wishes, but..." Celebrimbor trailed off, pausing as if he was considering whether to speak or remain silent. "You're...not leaving yet, are you?"

There was something vulnerable and frightened in his eyes now, something fragile that I was quite sure might break if I did leave. Instead, I smiled at him and shook my head.

"No, my lord. I will stay here with you as long as you wish," I promised, and his shoulders sagged in relief. After setting aside my supplies, I poured his tea how I knew he preferred it, and in the peace of Lindon's golden sunlight, we chatted as we used to. Since our correspondence had been so rudely prevented by a certain dark force, we filled each other in on all that we'd missed.

Celebrimbor insisted during that time, that I help him eat those lemon cakes. By the time the sun had begun to set, we'd even sent for a second pot of tea.

Amidst a lull in the conversation, Celebrimbor covered my hands with his own. My eyes flicked up to his, only to find him looking at me as if I'd hung the very stars in the sky.

"Is something amiss, my lord?"

"I should have told you years ago," he whispered. "I was a coward for so long. I only made it back here - back to you - by the sheerest of luck. I very nearly lost my chance entirely."

"After all these years, 'coward' is not a word I would ever think to call you," I said, but he shook his head.

"But I am. I have been so afraid that I would ruin the rapport that we've built," he insisted. "I am a coward, because I could not tell you until it was very nearly too late. I think a part of me hoped that if I could create something worthwhile...something to change Middle Earth, I would be worthy of risking the admission."

"What do you mean, mellon-nin?"

"My tunic!" He blurted, and at the alarm in his features, I startled.

"I don't understand. What about it, my lord?"

"Has it been taken away to be cleaned yet?" He asked, and I shook my head.

"No, my lord, I haven't had the chance, yet. I can do so now," I said, and he let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh, thank the Valar! No, don't take it yet, but...would you bring it to me?" Without hesitation, I hurried over to the table where I'd laid his clothing and pulled out his rumpled tunic. The stained green velvet had clearly seen better days. I sat beside him once more, and he folded the top inside out. Just inside the neckline, there was a small, concealed pocket. From within it, he pulled a velvet drawstring bag.

Discarding the tunic carelessly on the floor beside him, he took a steadying breath and offered me the bag. I accepted it cautiously, in case whatever was inside was fragile.

"This was the only thing I wanted to sneak out of my forge. The only thing that really mattered besides the nine," he said sounding more nervous than he had for most of the night. Darting his eyes between the bag and my face, Celebrimbor's tongue wetted his lips. "I meant to give it to you before you came to Lindon, but...I wasn't sure if...well..."

He trailed off and swallowed nervously.

"I feel fortunate to even have the opportunity to tell you, late though I am," he murmured. "Please...open it."

Carefully loosening the drawstring, I tipped the contents of the bag gently into my palm. Gleaming silver inlaid with the purest, brightest diamonds I'd ever seen sparkled up at me. Setting the bag aside, I lifted what I thought at first was a necklace, but upon its unfurling, I realized it was something entirely different.

"My lord, this is much too beautiful for one of my station," I protested looking up at him in awe.

"Nonsense. A circlet of a static shape would not adapt well if you wanted to wear your hair in more than one style. Such an adornment was a pleasure to make...for the Lady of Eregion," the last part of his statement came out as a whisper, and I froze. "I-I realize that title would not be applicable now, because Eregion is no more, but...I still wish you to have this. E-Even if you do not feel the same affection for me that I do for you, I still believe it would complement your beauty–"

My lips met his, cutting off his rambling. How could he think I would not want him? After all this time, after a century, I would've thought that I'd failed to hide my feelings quite spectacularly on several occasions. Lingering embraces, rather obviously adoring looks, spending practically all my time with him in his study and his forge - I had not been subtle, mentally berating myself on countless occasions for overstepping my bounds.

"I love you," I blurted as soon as we separated. "Since the day we met, I have held no other in higher regard. But...my lord, I am only Half-elven. You deserve so much better than me."

"Ridiculous. Of all the people I have encountered, you have done something that no other has: you have filled a hole in my heart which I did not know existed before we met. You have given me more to look forward to than just my work and my duties," he said cupping my face so gently between his strong, calloused fingers. The softness of his smile, the lines adorning the outer corners of his eyes - everything about him was so open and vulnerable that despite all the decades of accumulated doubts and fears, I believed him. "Meleth, your light chases away even the darkest of shadows. I love you, and I would spend my life with none but you."

When his lips claimed my own, he tasted of citrus, sugar, and courage. The next morning when High King Gil-Galad asked me to report on Lord Celebrimbor's condition, he noted the gleaming silver atop my head with a conspiratorial smirk and ordered me back to my patient's side. For his health, of course. If he called out a quiet congratulatory wish as I left, well, who could comment upon the thoughts of kings?

~*~*~

Elvish Words:

mîr-nin = my jewel

híril vuin = beloved lady

hir-nin = my lord

meleth = love

~*~

Taglist:

@bigblissandlove1 @horta-in-charge @gandalfthepimp

[lowkey-loki245]

So i saw your post and reblog about the time god au and i was thinking that maybe it was a way for vaugardian to rationalize the king take over?

The idea that Time itself sent one of its saint (loop) to guide the savior of Vaugarde throught the house and to fight the king. And that when that wasnt enough time froze the king itself in time to punish it for tampering with its flow

It would also means that Siffrin has access to more time craft like « slow » from Odile « pretty moving cure » from Mirabelle and create tears like the king

Im guessing it would also be an oportunity for Loop to gain more information about wish craft and time craft since even before the king shenanigans they look to be mostly associated with culture outside of Vaugarde (siffrin, the king getting access to time craft with a wish and odile brute forcing craft by research)

also question do you accept fanart of this au?

First, I'm absolutely accepting fanart, I'd love to see what you draw!

Second, absolutely love this idea. People seeing Loop leading the saviors of Vaugarde would definitely be a big deal. It would probably lead to people connecting the Time God to stars. (Thank to this person ( @misty-is-a-dragon ) who gave me this idea.)

Siffrin would definitely want to correct people on who froze the King, but Mirabelle probably wouldn't mind since she already had so much pressure on her before Vaugarde was saved, people knowing she was the one to freeze the King would probably put a lot more pressure on her.

As for the Time Craft stuff. Sif would have unlimited control over Time Craft, but he'd have to ease into his powers first. He'd probably practice on basic enemies (do Sadnesses still exist after the King got frozen, or are they all gone?) or on random objects. (Btw, when I say unlimited Time Craft, I mean he can be as creative as he wants. Too much Craft in a short amount of time will still hurt him. I feel like too much Craft hurts because of the mental strain, not just physical strain.)

Now I'm wondering how different Sif would look in this AU? I think most of the time, he'd look normal (aka, his "mortal" form), but something similar to his big form would be his god form. Just a little less mentally unwell, lol. But if anyone thinks of something cooler, run with it, I wanna see what cool ideas you guys have!

I think it'd be funny if Sif had some one-sided beef with the Change God in this AU. Considering that conversation in the House, I feel like it'd be understandable for Sif to not like the Change God that much. Too bad for him, the Change God is the only one giving him advice on how to be a god.

Also, how do you guys think this whole god situation will affect Siffrin's and Isabeau's relationship? Sif would probably be so scared that being a god now will ruin their relationship, while Isa's just like "my boyfriend's a god, he's so cool :3."

Odile and Mira would not know what to do at first. Should they treat Sif like the god he is, or like the friend he's been? They decide on the 2nd one because Sif is already going through a lot, they don't want to make things worse (though Odile will occasionally joke about treating Sif like a god. I feel like that's her sense of humor).

As for Bonnie, Bonnie would just be hyped about having a super powerful friend. Plus, Siffrin's Time Craft could speed up cooking if they need it. No more waiting a whole day for beef to marinate!

Also, as Siffrin's saint, Loop would probably have really strong Time Craft. It's not unlimited like Sif, but it's still super strong. They'd totally brag and joke about being Sif's saint, too. Sometimes, when Mira or Odile wanna talk to him about something, Loop will be like, "You may now speak to the Time God" as they reveal Sif to them like he's royalty. As you can tell, Loop got their humor from Odile.

Honestly, I'm loving the ideas you guys have been sharing for the AU, this is fun.

[nenelonomh]

weekly reflection, week one

whilst looking at my calendar for the upcoming week, i realized that i had forgotten to reflect on my week at school. i planned this as a way to encourage better study habits and to hold myself accountable.

this week i studied 6 hours 27 minutes (measured on ypt). my sessions were 40 minutes - 2.5 hours long. i definitely want to build the habit of studying every day, where i can. even if it's just for 20 minutes before school starts.

on monday, i went out with my sister after school. school was horribly exhausting but i made sure to honour our monday tradition. i think we're going to start hanging out more sporadically instead of each week monday. when i got home on monday i was so exhausted and i didn't do any work.

on tuesday, i had training after school. we did a high intensity circuit - which was actually super fun. since my friend gem had tutoring at the same time, we studied together in the refectory for 40 minutes. then, i caught transport to my friends house and went to karate. i got home ~8:00 pm, which is super late for me - but i managed to shower and get ready for the next day.

wednesday morning i had another training session: a lower body weights session. my legs were so sore the rest of the week, but i managed to beat a lot of my records! on wednesday afternoon i simply went home and tried to study.

something that i have noticed this week is that after school i need a break. otherwise, i feel horribly overwhelmed and unable to do any work. i've been looking into breathing exercises - to calm myself and reset before i begin my afternoon study.

(the reason that i have to study so hard right now is because my exams are in week 6, which means that i only have 4 more weeks to learn and revise everything.)

on thursday i was lucky enough to get dropped off to the train station, instead of catching the bus. on thursday afternoon after school i went home and studied. this was the day that i achieved 2.5 hours.

on friday, i organized a study date with my friends at our local university library. it was super fun, and i was semi-productive but i got really tired around an hour in. then, i struggled to do any work and i just wanted to go home.

meal prepping this week was super helpful for me. not stressing about making my lunch for school when i'm getting ready in the morning saves so much time. i'm going to continue to do this and look for some more recipes. maybe i'll post a meal plan lmao.

next week i'd like to attend more karate sessions and start making my piano practicing more of a habit.

saturday and sunday will be a part of next week's reflection since i was meant to write this on friday arvo.

❤️ nene

[dissociative-misinfo]

Okay I want to address the OSDD and SAS thing.

I have SAS blocked now, and Sophie, and all the other pro endos who flooded my asks with less-than-kind comments. I deleted my posts/reblogs involved in the whole debacle because I wanted to take some time to think about what I had noticed.

When I looked at the criteria for OSDD, something I hadn't looked at in a while, I noticed that the language for the identity-related criteria was different to the identity-related criteria in DID.

OSDD: "identity disturbance with less-than-marked discontinuities in sense of self or agency." or "alterations in identity or experiences of possession in an individual who reports no dissociative amnesia."

DID: "Disruption of identity characterized by two or more distinct personality states (which may be described in some cultures as experiences of possession)" "...involves marked discontinuity in sense of self and agency, accompanied by related alterations in affect, behavior, conciousness, memory, perception, cognition, and/or sensory motor functioning."

DID's criteria very clearly lays out that the criteria is distinct personality states, and even in the criteria not about amnesia, it mentions alterations in memory.

"That's all well and good, but why did dissociative-misinfo say pwOSDD aren't systems?" Hear me out-

There is a difference between "marked discontinuities" and "less-than-marked discontinuities." Marked means a prominent and significant symptom, in this context. Less-than-marked would then mean a less than prominent, less than significant symptom. Identity disruption that is less-than-marked can appear in other disorders that involve an ANP and an EP, such as C/PTSD and BPD. A marked, significant, prominent discontinuity of identity is only a symptom in DID, and is is how alters are described.

The less significant identity disturbance that can appear in OSDD1 is, by the letter of the DSM, not significant enough to be classified as alters, or the person would qualify for DID.

Furthermore, OSDD1's identity disturbance does not mention the changes in behavior, consciousness, perception ect that DID's criteria does. OSDD1's identity disturbance could therefore very easily be about general identity confusion or depersonalization as a result of dissociative symptoms, not about having distinct personality states (alters).

OSDD as a whole diagnosis is specifically used when a person does not meet the full criteria for any other dissociative disorder, including DID. If a person met the full alter criteria for DID, they would be diagnosed with DID. (Yes, many people with DID get diagnosed with OSDD first, but that change of diagnosis means OSDD was a misdiagnosis. People with DID are also often misdiagnosed as schizophrenic, but that doesn't mean schizophrenia is a system-causing disorder)

And for full clarification, I tried to straight up google if people with OSDD are systems/have alters. I could not find a single reputable source stating yes or no, only community-ran cites or places like Quora and Reddit. So this is an opinion because there is no clinical consensus about it that I can find.

Brief anecdotal; I brought this opinion up to the people in my server, and somebody told me that everyone they knew who'd been diagnosed with OSDD was later diagnosed with DID. Which to me says that OSDD is usually a temporary misdiagnosis, and most people diagnosed with it do actually fit the criteria for another DD, it just hasn't been fully deciphered yet. Many professionals seem to treat OSDD like UDD, the diagnosis that's intended to be temporary.

One of my friends diagnosed with DID was also misdiagnosed with OSDD first, and I even used to believe I had OSDD before DID because I didn't fully understand my symptoms because of my amnesia and history of being gaslit.

This is anecdotal, and not intended to hold much water. Just supplemental food for thought. If anyone has similar experiences/anecdotes I'd be curious to hear your thoughts.

I want to disclaim at the end here that this is all my opinion, I am not a professional. This is a recently formed opinion based on my re-assessment of the DSM criteria for DID and OSDD, and you don't have to agree.

I'm posting this to explain myself since I didn't explain very eloquently yesterday as I was busy getting told I have a humiliation kink by SophieInWonderland, so it slipped my mind to elaborate after I'd deleted my posts and the nasty anons I recieved from pro-endos.

I'm posting this new opinon of mine to open a discussion about it, I want to hear what people think and see what other evidence or counter-evidence yall have. All I ask is that you don't disregard this at face value, and actually take the time to understand my points and form proper responses that aren't just "well I don't think so" if you are going to respond.

[lesterwillington]

We Need a Lovecraft Musical (or play, I would not mind a play)

I love eldritch horror and weird fiction and I love musicals so I might sound biased, but I need this to happen. Technically, there are a few that exist, but I can find very little detail about them. So, what I'm asking the universe for is some sort of Lovecraft stage musical adaptation (preferably something from the Cthulhu Mythos) that recieves a major professional production somewhere in the world (like off-west end or off-broadway or chicago or something, I would love regular west end and regular broadway but I am trying to manage expectations here, kinda). Also, we just need more mainstream horror theater stuff in general. There isn't much of it, and what does exist mostly have been financial and critical failures. Now, you may be asking, "aren't Lovecraft's works famously unadaptable? why not just leave them as short stories and novels? also he was a pretty bad dude should we even be adapting his work at all?", and to that I say: 1. HA, if you really think that, you are a COWARD, a FOOL, and a SCOUNDREL! People thought Dune was unadaptable and now it is a critically acclaimed franchise with at least 2 movies as well as an upcoming tv show and a third movie in development. So, people that say things like that are dumb. Plus, that's mostly in reference to film adaptations anyway, which I can understand for Lovecraft's works. He mostly relies on the audience's imagination for the horror, he tries to get them to fear something they can barely begin to understand. It's hard to translate that into film because film is inherently a visual medium (mostly). However, theater almost always relies on the audience visualizing more than what is really on stage, so I think it fits Lovecraft's works perfectly, especially because of how short most of them are. You can really take your time to flesh out the world and characters if you wanted to. Or just do like, a one-act thing. That woks too. 2. I understand leaving them as their original works, but I think the theatrical experience can elevate the experience of the written works or at least get the audience to see them in a new light. I think an ideal theatrical adaptation would leave the audience extremely unsettled, but wanting more. And they can get more by reading Lovecraft. So, I don't think it's too much of a problem. 3. I'm terribly sorry but like 95% of old, white guy authors were bad people and I think it's reasonable to be able enjoy and appreciate what they made while also condemning who they were. Plus, it's not like Lovecraft or his estate is making any money off this because his works are public domain babyyyy. But yes I need this to happen desperately and I'm afraid it won't. I'm heavily considering trying to make something myself (because the works are public domain and I am a writer), but I have a lot on my plate right now (including an In Trousers screenplay that I have mentioned in a post or two) so I have no idea when I'd be able to really work on it and try to fully realize it. Plus, I have zero connections in the theater world so getting a major production for it would be extremely hard. I still think it's cool, though. Let me know what you guys think. Is it possible? Or are his works better left as they are?

[captainsophiestark]

Vigilante Book Club Part 3

Jason Todd x Reader

Part 1 Part 2 - Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: DC

Day Four Prompt: "No, we're not doing that."

Summary: Jason and his new SO have their official first date.

Word Count: 2,216

Category: Fluff

A/N: Shoutout to @v1ckycheesue for commenting about wanting to see the date! I wasn't sure I was going to come back to this idea, but something just popped into my head, so now we're here :) No promises, but there might also be a part 4 at some point on the horizon!

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I stepped out of my building with a smile, waving as soon as I caught sight of Jason on his motorcycle, waiting for me right where he said he'd be. After months of friendship and forming a mini book club with the Red Hood, earlier this week, I'd learned his secret identity thanks to a phone call from one of his brothers. Thankfully, Jason didn't mind, and even better, it had led to Jason asking me out on a date. He'd had a bit of a family situation to attend to earlier, but tonight was the night, and having him meet me outside my apartment on his motorcycle was certainly a good start.

"Hey!" I called once I was close enough. "How did the family dinner disaster go?"

Jason scoffed and rolled his eyes. "It went great, once I got there and kicked everyone else out of the kitchen. Somewhere between five and ten of us regularly attending family events and somehow I'm still the only one who knows how to cook."

I grinned. "Well, from personal experience, I can attest that you are an excellent chef."

"Thanks, babe," he said, huffing a laugh as I finally reached him. He held out one arm for a hug, and I stepped into him, wrapping both my arms around his shoulders as he sat on his bike. He brought his other hand up to rest on my hip, giving it a light squeeze before moving me a step back from him. "You look great."

"Thanks! You do too. So... are you gonna tell me what we're doing tonight?"

"Not yet," he said with a grin. "I still want our first stop to be a surprise. But you do need one more thing before we go."

I raised an eyebrow as Jason turned around on the bike, digging into one of the side bags before turning back to me with a bright red helmet in hand.

"Here, let me help you get it on."

I smiled, Jason helping me pull the helmet down over my head before holding either side of it, giving it a little shake to make sure it fit snugly. He grabbed the part right in front of my mouth and ran his finger across it, giving me a satisfied smile.

"Looks good. Go ahead and hop on, and we can get out of here."

I climbed onto the back of the bike, wrapping my arms tightly around Jason's waist as he pulled his own red helmet on over his head. It wasn't the same as his Red Hood helmet, but it did look pretty similar. I grinned, even though Jason couldn't see me.

"You ready sweetheart?" he asked, his voice crackling over an in-helmet comms system. I nodded, then realized how unhelpful that was.

"Yeah, I'm ready. Although I do have a question."

"What's that?" Jason asked. He started the bike as he spoke, the engine roaring beneath us.

"As somebody trying to maintain a secret identity, don't you think it's a little conspicuous that you've got a motorcycle helmet the exact same color as your vigilatne helmet? And almost the same style?"

I heard Jason huff a laugh, and his response took a few moments to come through the radio. Part of that might've been Jason trying to focus while he merged with traffic, but he'd never be able to convince me that was the entire reason.

"Nobody's figured it out yet," he finally said. Now it was my turn to laugh.

"Well, there you go, I guess. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that nobody in Gotham suddenly becomes observant. You know, I could repaint your helmet in some sparkly colors for you, maybe put some stickers on it that say 'NOT Red Hood', help you keep your secret. We could make it a date night."

Jason snorted. "No, we're not doing that."

"Your loss babe."

I held tight to Jason as we swept through the city streets, looking over his shoulder and trying to figure out exactly where we were headed. I didn't put it together until we turned a corner and pulled into the parking lot for my absolute favorite bookstore in the city.

I gasped, and I heard Jason chuckle over the radio.

"I take it you're excited?"

"Jason, I got nothing but green flags from you from the moment you brought my favorite book back to me, but I cannot begin to tell you how amazing this surprise is. This is my dream date."

Jason chuckled again, pulling the bike into a spot near the front as he responded.

"I'm glad a bookstore date's as exciting to you as it is to me."

"Oh my god, you have no idea. You are actually a dream come true."

"Right back at you, sweetheart."

With that, he stepped off the bike and pulled his helmet off, taking mine from me a moment later when I did the same. I had a beaming smile on my face that I couldn't wipe off if I tried, and as soon as he saw it, Jason smiled too.

"Alright, I'll never be the one to put limits on getting books, but let me tell you what I was thinking for tonight," he said, taking my hand and helping me off the bike. We started walking to the front doors together, shoulder to shoulder and hands held tight. "I was thinking we each pick a book, ideally one the other person hasn't read before. Then we do an exchange and read the books the other person picked out for us."

Jason looked at me as we came to a stop just inside the bookstore, apparently waiting for my reaction. Like he hadn't just said something out of a romance novel.

I leaned up to kiss his cheek, squeezing his hand as I did. When I pulled back with a smile, Jason had one eyebrow raised.

"That sounds absolutely perfect," I said, and a minute later his face broke out in a wide grin.

"Okay, good. I'll go get your book, you go get mine. Whoever's done first finds the other."

"Deal. Let's do this."

Jason and I headed off in different directions, hunting through the bookstore for just the right book. A few weeks ago, he'd told me he'd never read Dracula, one of my favorite books and a classic that seemed right up his alley. We'd talked about reading it together for our informal book club, but we hadn't done it yet, and I couldn't think of a better book to get him for our date.

Unfortunately, we were in a bookstore, so I had to make a few detours on my way to my goal. I ended up with a small stack in my arms by the time I finally made it to Dracula, and I chewed my lip in thought as I stood betwen the stacks. What if he didn't have room for us to put these on the bike? What if we were going somewhere after this where the books would be a problem? I rarely managed to walk into a bookstore and walk out with nothing more than what I'd gone for, but maybe I could just take picture of the other titles with my phone-

"There you are."

I turned to see Jason behind me, a stack of books in his own arms. I grinned.

"I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who made a few pitstops on my way to the date book," I said. Jason scoffed.

"Of course not. I don't trust people who can easily avoid detours in bookstores."

"Neither do I. It's for sure a red flag."

"Well, I'm glad we both passed the test," he said, grinning again. "Now come on, you ready? I think it's time for the next part of our date."

"I'll follow you."

Jason and I checked out with both our stacks of books, which he carefully loaded into one of the bags on his motorcycle. It was a tight fit, but he managed to make everything work without any of the books being at risk of bent pages. The other bag remained conspicuously closed, and I raised an eyebrow at him as he helped me get my helmet on again.

"Is there a reason you didn't split the books between both bags?"

"Yeah."

"...And that reason would be?"

"A surprise." He grinned. "Come on, you'll know in a minute. It's not too far of a drive from here."

I climbed on the back of the bike behind Jason, holding onto him tight as we wound through the city streets. Before long, we were leaving the traffic behind, turning onto narrower and narrower tree-lined roads climbing up one of the mountains outside of the city.

"This is a pretty murder-y date spot, just so you know," I said over our comms. I felt Jason's chest rise and fall with a laugh under my hands the same time it came crackling over the radio.

"Are you trying to warn me about something, sweetheart?"

I shrugged. "I mean, you're the Red Hood. I think we're both probably pretty safe."

He huffed another laugh, taking one hand briefly off the handlebars to squeeze mine. I wrapped my arms around him a little tighter, and after a few more minutes of riding on darkened trails, we came out on top of one of the tallest hills. Jason parked the bike, then hopped off and offered a hand to help me. We both knew I didn't need it, but I took it anyway.

"Alright, this is one of my favorite spots in the whole city," Jason said, tucking both our helmets away before opening the tank bag that didn't have books in it. He pulled out a basket with one hand, then grabbed mine again with the other.

I followed him to the treeline, until we reached a ledge overlooking the city. I stopped short, letting out a little gasp. I'd never seen it from a vantage point like this before. All the lights sparkled like stars, while the forest around us was perfectly peaceful.

"Wow," I breathed. "Jay... this place is amazing."

"I know. And even better, none of my siblings know how to find it."

I laughed, watching as Jason took out a blanket and unfolded it, then started setting up the rest of an evening picnic.

"You know, I'd actually really like to meet your siblings."

"Oh don't worry, you will. They've been wondering for a while now who I've been meeting up with regularly. They're all nosy motherfuckers, they'll probably show up in disguise to crash our next date."

"...Is it weird that I'm kind of excited for that?"

"Yes. Extremely."

I just laughed again, moving to join Jason on the picnic blanket he'd set up for us. I sighed and leaned into him as he wrapped one arm around my shoulders.

"I have to say, this might be the best date I've ever been on. Buying each other books and a romantic picnic overlooking the city? That's impossible to beat," I said.

"That was my goal," he said, pulling me closer with a grin. "I'm glad I succeeded. Now come on, I don't want this food I packed going to waste."

Jason and I dug into the picnic, which was packed full of our favorite foods. We laughed and talked the night away, perfectly comfortable, just the two of us. It was technically our first date, but we'd been spending our nights together for long enough that a peaceful, romantic night together seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

"Jason, that was amazing," I sighed, leaning into him once we'd finished dinner. He leaned back on his hands, and I curled into his side.

"Yeah. It was. You know, I'm really glad that guy stole your favorite book."

"I guess that's one way to say you're glad you met me."

Jason grinned and leaned in to kiss my temple. "You get me."

I sighed, and the two of us just sat there together for a while, curled up on the blanket and looking out at the city. Finally, I sighed.

"So... what would you think if I proposed a finale for this date?"

"That depends. Is this a subtle way of telling me you're ready for the date to be over?"

"No! I just had an idea I think you'll like, and I want to pull my weight a little on making this the most magical evening ever."

"Oh yeah?" Jason asked, sitting up and moving me with him. I turned to face him, a giant smile on my face as his hands wandered to my waist. "And what might that idea be?"

"I was thinking we could go back to my place..."

"I'm with you so far."

"And then I was thinking we could make some tea and curl up on the couch and read the books we got for each other."

Jason grinned, putting one hand at the nape of my neck and pulling me in for a kiss. I smiled into it, leaning forward and resting my hands on his chest as Jason deepened it. When he finally pulled back, I was breathing hard.

"That sounds fucking perfect. You're literally my dream date, let's go."

I laughed, especially as Jason packed up our picnic with record speed, then took my hand and nearly dragged me back towards the bike. The two of us laughed the whole ride to my apartment, only to cuddle close on the couch while we started reading hand-picked books together. It was definitely too early to call, but I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my nights just like this.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen

DC Taglist: @gaychaosgremlin @v1ckycheesue @lavender-dinos

[everythingblackblack]

Do you think Shinichi wanted to be the one who almost kissed KID? I'm imagining him having his body back and flirting with KID as revenge for his friend and trying to figure out how much of his reactions are acting as part of the disguise. I want him to find out that KID/Kuroba Kaito hasn't had his first kiss yet and decide that he will be the one to give it to him. I feel like most people assume Kaito is the more relationship experienced one but considering ShinRan's development post-canon that will probably be Shinichi, he didn't have to worry about consent issues or DNA or potentially getting a loved one framed as an accomplice - which Kaito has to consider in and out of disguises.

Lmao, Kaito must be so bitter, imagine your rival got the girl and you've been in the friendzone for 37 years. That's hard. (Yes, I'm counting Robot Kaito's confession. Since Aoko and her entire class basically think it was him, it counts for me).

_________________ The first thing that came to my mind when you said that was this scenario:

"Let me see if I understand you, Kudo." Haibara looks at him trying not to show her disapproval for the tremendous stupidity she just heard from him. "The first thing you want to do now that you got your body back is go kissing with KID."

She wouldn't judge him for that, she just thinks the reason he uses to justify himself is… so dumb.

"I'm doing it because he almost kissed Hattori, and you know, I have to protect my best friend's dignity."

"You sound like a person desperate for the attention of the one you love."

"I don't love him, and I'm not desperate!"

"But you want to kiss him, and you just confirmed that you've been thinking about this for a while." Haibara looks at him unimpressed. She's judging him.

"I'm doing it for Hattori, he's my brother from another mother and all that…!"

"You say that, but all you think about is kissing KID."

"Don't say it like that! I don't-!"

"Like I said, so desperate." ___________

I had thought of a conversation between the two of them, talking about their first kiss:

Shinichi: My first kiss was with a random guy, he mistook me for Ran, I hated it.

KID: What bad luck for that, I thought you were going to tell me that you had your first kiss with Miss Mouri at 13 or something.

Shinichi: I wasn't so lucky, what about you? Have you had your first kiss yet?

KID: Do you doubt that?

Shinichi: I'm just saying that it's hard to be sure with you, you're too ambiguous, I can't say that I'd be surprised if it's not the case, but I can also imagine it.

KID: To be honest… it depends.

Shinichi: Your answer is "It depends"? See? So ambiguous. "Depends" on what anyway?

KID: It depends on what you consider a kiss.

KID: What is a kiss to you?

Shinichi: I'm sure I'm missing a lot of things in the middle of this question, but if I had to answer, isn't it supposed to be just lip contact?

KID: And if there's no consent would you still call it a kiss?

Shinichi: Did you steal a kiss from someone?

KID: Not exactly.

Shinichi: You're so lazy about it! Just tell me what happened!

KID: Well, I once did cpr on a person I liked. Although at the time I still didn't like him, and I definitely didn't think about kissing him, otherwise "Damn, I have to do something or she'll choke!"

Shinichi: Well, that's not a kiss.

KID: But you said a kiss was lip contact, our lips touched, it would be a kiss right?

Shinichi: Why does even a kiss have to be complicated with you?

KID: I'd like to know too.

Shinichi: I guess we can just leave it at "it depends." __________________

In movie 10, there is a scene where Conan falls into the water, then wakes up in Agasa's car and Hattori tells him that "Hakuba" pulled him out of the water. It is later revealed that "Hakuba" was actually KID.

I've been thinking ever since I saw it "Did KID perform CPR on Shinichi?" since he spent two hours unconscious, since there is nothing to confirm or deny it, I assume that it did happen.

I just like the idea of ​​Shinichi being Kaito's first kiss, although yes, I would prefer it to be Shinichi, but I wanted to share this thought.