#and i’m so scared i’m going to have gained it all back this week
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razorbladesandblackholes · 1 year ago
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really really want coffee but. calories. >:(
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gor3sigil · 1 year ago
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Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.
I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.
Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.
I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.
5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.
I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.
I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.
I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.
I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.
I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.
But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.
I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.
It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.
If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.
Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.
It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.
You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.
Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.
Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.
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alexthetrashyracoon · 1 year ago
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Simon grinned at himself through the mirror like a stupid teenager in the changing room as Price, god bless this man and his father figure behavior, tugged on his tie to keep it straight and clean.
Wedding Day had come. His wedding day had come.
“Mate, you must be shakin’ with excitement to marry the pretty face.” Gaz grinned from his spot on the couch, all three of them dressed in their best attire. Even Soap hadn’t complained once about wearing a tie.
Simon’s mind wandered to you in the other room, he hadn’t seen you since last night, tradition, that’s what they called it.
He hoped you were having a blast, because you had to spend so many days and nights over the wedding plans that he had to get you to the hospital once after you broke down from exhaustion.
“Anyone ever thought big bad ol’ Ghost gets married?” Soap teased as he rummaged through the drawers at the desk. What exactly was he searching? Simon didn’t know or maybe he was too happy to question his best friend’s motives for now, they usually end in chaos and today was meant no chaos.
“I always believed Simon would find the one true love one day.” Price nodded and patted Simon’s chest, telling him he was done with the tie.
“Liar.” Gaz laughed and shook his head. “If you want to know who always believed in you, Lieutenant, that’s me. Ol’ Captain and MacTavish over here said you would die a virgin. We got a bet running for a while.”
Simon wasn’t even surprised or mad, maybe tomorrow, or the week after. But tonight he wanted to be on Cloud Nine and looking through the pink tinted glasses of love. Tonight he would say ‘yes’ to the person he loved the most, the one that kept him alive and sane and put up with his antics.
“I’m getting married.” He smiled at himself in the mirror.
“You’re getting married, son.” Price looked at him, through the mirror, a proud smile hidden under the beard.
A minute later his phone rang, your name and picture on the screen.
“Yes? Everything alright, darling?” Simon asked and looked at Price, worry flashing behind his brown eyes.
“I’m scared, Simon. I… I know this will sound crazy and you probably think I’m mad. But… I wanna run away.” You say, followed by a shaky breath. “But at the same time I don’t wanna run away but stay and marry you. Does it make sense?”
Simon relaxed immediately, you were nervous, as you should be. Just like him.
“How about this then, darling, we run away together until you know what you want.” He grinned and picked up his suit jacket.
Soap and Gaz were gasping at him.
“Let’s run away together and if you still feel like running, we blew off this party. And if not, we come back, say yes to each other tonight and live our happily ever after.”
Gaz asked if he was insane. Soap was looking between Simon and Price, who simply had the time of his life while opening the door for Simon to leave.
“Are you sure… do you… I mean…?” You started to ramble and mutter under your breath.
“Darling… For you I would go through hell and back. I am not complete without you anymore. There was a time before you, sure. But there will be no time after you. Together.” Simon spoke gently and could see through the phone who your cheeks turned pink and tears pricked your eyes. “I’ll be out in two minutes, don’t let me wait.”
(Spoiler, in the end Simon and you got married surrounded by friends and family. Price lost a bet to Laswell because they both know you two and knew you would pull such a stunt. Soap had gained a few more grey hairs than necessary and Gaz was pretty sure this was some kind of punishment, why else would you two pull something like that.)
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willowed-wisp · 7 months ago
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ghost as a dad [ simon riley ]
part two | part three
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- Never wanted kids, he was so careful not to get you pregnant but with the amount you guys fuck, it was bound to happen.
- You’re scared when you get that positive test… you cry out of fear that you’ll have to get rid of the thing you had always wanted.
- It took you a week to gain the courage to tell him, you just left the pregnancy test on the kitchen table and left for work. You wanted to let him sit with it for a few hours.
- When you did return home, he sat on the sofa- elbows to knees looking down at the test. How long had he been like that?
- You waited for him to speak, while you shuffled around with that nauseous feeling bubbling in your stomach.
- It was late in the afternoon so you started chopping some vegetables for dinner, “I’ll call the termination clinic in the morning…” Your voice mulled over the slices weighing down on the wooden chopping board.
- Fingers crawled along your waistband as he rested against the sink. “No. You’re not.” You rested the knife down.
- “I thought you didn’t want kids…?” Your eyes on the verge of tearing, looking back at him. Your cool, mysterious man… finding purchase in those deep dark eyes.
- His bare hands wrapped around you- resting under your shirt. “I can’t put you through tha’,” His light hair tickled while his chin rested on your shoulder, “You’re the only person I’d wanna do this with.”
- He was there for the first and second of your pregnancy. Simon held your hair back while you threw up almost every day and he rubbed your back.
- Simon is very careful when having sex with you, but he soon realised that you feel everything 10x as much. And your sex drive is through the roof, he’s never been so needy in his entire life… you were so desperate for him and he wanted you just as much.
- Simon gets deployed during your 7th month. He doesn’t want to go… nearly refuses. Unfortunately he can’t do that.
- You’re stressed after he leaves. But his family takes care of you- he asked for them to.
- When he lands back on British soil, he immediately phones you. You pick up, and the cry of a baby is all he hears before he drops the phone and falls to his knees.
- He’s crying, actually in tears. “Is Y/N alright, LT?” Of course Soap was the one to see him like that.
- Simon nods, laughing, “I’m a dad…”
- He’s never driven so fast in his life, and you’re there on the sofa he had been 8 months ago with that test in his hand. This time you cradle a little human in your arms, swaddled like a bundle.
- He drops to his knees once more, ripping his mask off. And your warmth covers him with the little sighs coming from the now awake baby.
- Simon fell in love. He didn’t know if he was looking at a son or a daughter.
- You two didn’t want to know the gender.
- “Simon Riley… meet your daughter…” He melted again, face red and brown eyes bloodshot as he cradled the little one in his arms. Dotting into the identical eyes staring up at him.
- That’s when he held her close, head against his chest. ��My little princess…” He hummed so gentle, rocking her slightly.
- He is so girl dad coded. He’ll be so sweet with her and she’d always come to her dad if anything was wrong
- Your little girl would play with his masks all the time, it never annoyed him- only making him giggle. Telling her to stop so playfully and boyishly, that you’d never seen him so soft-hearted before.
- You most likely have at most two more children after your daughter- maybe one girl and a boy.
- Simon definitely teaches your children self defence from a young age. Safety was everything and he wasn’t always around to protect them.
- He’s there every award ceremony he’s on leave and is the most doting father ever.
- Your children’s friends are terrified of him, until they get him talking- then they’re like ‘your dad’s cool.’
Did you want a part 2 of this?
Part Two is posted!
———
masterlist
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grimesproperty · 2 months ago
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𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐒
You and Eren are such close best friends, almost "platonic." You open up to Eren about your desire to gain more experience now that you both are in college. Being the sweet best friend he is, he listens to you. And being the sweet best friend you are.
You ask him if he can teach you a few things, even teaching you how he is gonna take your virginity.
EREN YEAGER X READER
cw: nsfw
You and Eren Yeager were... complicated.
Best friends, sure. Friends since your freshman year of college, when you spilled coffee all over his sketchpad in the library and he called you "an actual menace" and then bought you a refill because you looked like you were going to cry.
Four years later, nothing had really changed.
Except maybe everything.
Because now you were 21. And Eren wasn’t just your best friend anymore.
He was beautiful. Tall, broad-shouldered, messy brown hair tied into a lazy bun. Piercings glinting in his ear. Green eyes so sharp it felt like they could see through your clothes.
You told yourself you didn’t think about him like that. You lied.
And tonight?
Tonight you were making it worse.
You were sitting cross-legged on his bed, wearing one of his hoodies and absolutely no pants. It wasn't weird. You’d always been like this around him. Comfortable.
But lately, comfortable didn’t feel like the right word.
Eren was sprawled out next to you, scrolling through his phone. His legs were bare except for a pair of loose gray sweats that hung way too low on his hips.
You tried not to look.
Failed.
"So," he said suddenly, setting his phone down, "you gonna tell me why you’ve been acting weird all week?"
You pulled your knees up to your chest. "I’m not acting weird."
"You literally flinched when I hugged you yesterday."
"I—I was startled."
He laughed under his breath, low and rough. "Right."
You hated how your stomach twisted at the sound of it.
There was a pause. One of those heavy, loaded silences that only happened when you were both thinking too much.
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" he said finally, voice soft.
You swallowed hard.
Maybe it was the way he was looking at you. Like you were fragile. Like you mattered. Maybe it was the way you were tired of pretending. Maybe it was the fact that your body ached for something you couldn’t name when you were around him lately.
Whatever it was, it broke something open inside you.
"I’m... still a virgin," you blurted out.
The words hung in the air between you, sharp and heavy.
Eren blinked. Once. Twice.
Then, slowly, he sat up, facing you fully.
"Okay," he said carefully. "That's not a bad thing."
You stared down at your hands. "I just... everyone else has already—" You shook your head. "And I feel like... like I’m stuck. Like I'm behind or something."
He was quiet for a second.
Then he said, "You're not behind."
You risked a glance up at him.
His expression was unreadable. Jaw tight. Eyes dark.
You pressed on, heart pounding. "It’s not even about love or anything. I just... I want to know. I’m tired of being scared of it. Of... all of it."
Another pause.
His voice dropped lower. Rougher.
"You want someone to teach you."
It wasn’t a question.
You nodded, cheeks burning.
You couldn't look at him. Couldn't breathe.
"I trust you," you whispered.
The silence between you snapped like a wire pulled too tight.
Eren shifted closer, so close you could feel the heat of his bare chest through the thin hoodie you wore.
"You trust me," he repeated, voice almost a growl.
You nodded again, trembling.
He lifted a hand slowly—so fucking slowly—and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.
"You don’t know what you’re asking for," he murmured.
"Maybe I do," you said, surprising yourself with how steady your voice sounded.
His fingers brushed down your jaw. Barely a touch. Enough to make your whole body tense.
"Fuck," he muttered under his breath, voice wrecked.
"You don't have to," you said quickly, pulling back, heart hammering. "I just—I just needed to say it. I’m sorry. Forget it. I shouldn’t have—"
He caught your wrist gently, stopping you.
"Don't be sorry," he said hoarsely. "Just... give me a second. Okay?"
You sat there, frozen, pulse in your throat, while he closed his eyes for a long moment. Like he was fighting himself.
When he opened them again, his green eyes were darker than you’d ever seen.
"Come here," he said roughly.
You inched closer without thinking.
And when he kissed you—soft at first, testing, tasting—you realized it was already too late.
You weren’t just curious.
You wanted him.
Wanted him to touch you, to ruin you, to teach you everything.
And when his tongue slid into your mouth and he groaned low in his chest, you realized something else, too:
Eren wanted it just as badly.
Maybe more.
Maybe he always had.
The air between you and Eren was different now.
Charged. Dangerous.
You could barely breathe as you sat there on his bed, knees knocking together under the oversized hoodie—his hoodie—your bare legs brushing the soft sheets.
Eren hadn't let go of your wrist. His thumb was rubbing lazy, slow circles against your skin. Like he was trying to ground you. Or maybe himself.
"You want me to teach you," he said again, voice wrecked.
You nodded, unable to speak.
"Not just kissing, either," he added, leaning closer, lips brushing your ear. "You want more."
You whimpered before you could stop yourself.
It made him chuckle darkly—low and warm and filthy.
"Fuck," he muttered, pulling back just enough to look you in the eyes. "Okay. But we do this slow. You tell me if you want to stop at any point."
You nodded frantically.
"And you don't ever," he said, voice roughening, "ever have to do something you don’t want to. Got it?"
"Got it," you whispered.
His gaze darkened further, the green almost swallowed by black.
"You have no fucking idea what you're asking for," he said, voice a gravelly whisper. "But I'll teach you."
His hand slid up your thigh slowly—way too slowly—until he reached the hem of the hoodie.
You gasped when his fingers brushed your bare skin.
"First lesson," he murmured, smirking faintly. "How a kiss is supposed to feel."
Your breath hitched. Your thighs squeezed together instinctively. You didn't miss the way his eyes flickered down at the motion, nostrils flaring.
Eren leaned in, mouth hovering just a whisper from yours.
"You let the other person come to you," he said, voice almost hypnotic. "You don't chase it. You wait."
You swallowed hard. Nodded.
His lips brushed yours lightly—so light you barely felt it.
You whimpered again, desperate for more.
Eren smiled against your mouth.
"Good," he whispered. "You wait. You make them work for it."
He kissed you again, firmer this time. Still teasing.
His hand slid higher up your thigh, under the hoodie, fingers tracing slow, maddening patterns on your skin.
You tilted your chin up instinctively, chasing his mouth.
He pulled back just a fraction.
"Patience, baby," he rasped. "You gotta make them earn it."
You whimpered again, and he chuckled—low and dark and utterly wrecked.
Then finally—finally—he kissed you properly.
Deep. Slow. Consuming.
You felt the heat of him everywhere. The hard line of his chest pressing into you. The rough scrape of his palm sliding along your thigh, curling possessively around it.
You moaned into his mouth, and he swallowed the sound greedily.
When he finally pulled back, you were gasping, dizzy, desperate.
Your lips were swollen. Your skin burning.
Eren’s chest heaved as he looked down at you, eyes wild, hair falling loose from his bun.
"You feel that?" he growled, voice thick. "That’s how it’s supposed to feel."
You nodded dumbly, dazed.
He grinned crookedly, licking his bottom lip.
"Good girl," he murmured.
You almost collapsed on the spot.
You could barely think. Could barely breathe. Your pulse thundered in your ears, every nerve ending alive under his touch.
Eren pulled back just enough to look at you, his thumb still dragging slowly, burning circles against the inside of your thigh.
"Lesson two," he rasped, voice dark and low. "Touching."
You blinked up at him, dazed.
He grabbed your hand—gently, but firmly—and brought it up to his chest.
"Start here," he muttered.
Your fingers curled instinctively around the front of his hoodie.
"No," Eren said, voice rough with something you couldn't name. He tugged his hoodie over his head in one swift motion, tossing it aside.
You gasped.
He was bare underneath—tattoos scattered across golden skin, muscle carved like it had been sculpted just for you.
Your mouth dried instantly.
Eren smirked lazily, watching your stunned expression.
"Touch me," he repeated, softer this time.
Your fingers trembled as you reached out—hesitating for a second, terrified to screw it up.
He caught your wrist again, gentler now, and pressed your hand flat against his chest.
You could feel everything.
The steady thud of his heart. The solid, burning heat of him. The way his breathing hitched the second you touched him.
"Good," he whispered.
You dragged your hand lower—over the plane of his chest, the ridges of his abs. Your fingertips brushed the trail of hair leading down beneath his sweatpants.
Eren hissed through his teeth, muscles tensing under your touch.
"Fuck, baby," he muttered. "You have no idea what you're doing to me."
You smiled shyly, feeling a flicker of power surge through you.
You brushed your fingers across the tattoo on his ribs—a snake coiled around a dagger—and he groaned low in his throat.
"Lesson three," he gritted out. "Teasing."
You blinked up at him, wide-eyed.
He grinned—dark and hungry and wrecked.
"You gotta make it hurt a little," he said, voice thick. "Make them desperate. Like this—"
He dragged his hands up under the hoodie—your hoodie—splaying his palms against your bare waist, pulling you into his lap.
You squeaked, thighs straddling his.
You could feel him, hard and straining beneath the thin fabric of his sweatpants.
You froze, heart slamming against your ribs.
Eren smirked lazily up at you.
"You feel that?" he murmured. "That's what you do to me."
You whimpered, clutching his shoulders.
He rocked his hips up just slightly—enough to grind against you.
You gasped.
"Eren—"
"Lesson four," he interrupted, voice almost shaking. "Grinding."
You whimpered again, feeling your core throb, slick pooling between your legs embarrassingly fast.
Eren grabbed your hips, guiding you into a slow, torturous grind against him.
"Just like that," he rasped. "Fuck, you're a natural."
You bit your lip hard, trying not to moan.
His eyes darkened even further.
"Don't hide it, baby," he growled. "I wanna hear you."
You whimpered brokenly as you rocked against him, the friction unbearable, electric.
Eren's hands tightened on your hips, the muscles in his arms straining.
His control was slipping—you could see it, feel it.
"You wanna know something?" he muttered, voice strained. "None of this is fucking platonic anymore."
You whimpered his name—and that broke him.
He surged up, kissing you fiercely—messy and desperate��tongue claiming yours, teeth grazing your bottom lip.
You moaned into his mouth, grinding harder, chasing the high.
"Eren, please," you gasped.
He pulled back just enough to growl:
"You want me to show you more?"
You nodded frantically, chest heaving.
His hands slid up your thighs, under the hoodie, grazing dangerously close to where you needed him most.
He smirked against your mouth.
"First," he whispered, "you gotta say it."
You whined in frustration.
"Say what?" you panted.
Eren's eyes gleamed wickedly.
"Tell me what you want, baby."
You squirmed, cheeks burning, brain short-circuiting.
"I want..." you started, voice trembling.
Eren waited, smug and wrecked all at once.
You swallowed hard.
"I want you to touch me," you whispered.
He grinned—dark and slow and victorious.
"Good girl," he murmured.
Then his fingers slid higher—higher—until they brushed the soaked fabric of your panties.
You gasped, hips bucking instinctively.
Eren groaned low in his chest, head dropping to your shoulder.
"Fuck, you're so wet," he muttered against your neck. "All for me."
You whimpered, clutching his hair.
And then—
He slipped a single finger under the fabric. Dragging it slowly and lightly along your folds. Barely touching, just teasing.
You nearly sobbed.
"Lesson five," he rasped. "Patience."
His finger traced your soaked folds so lightly, you could’ve screamed. You were trembling—hips bucking pathetically against his hand—whining in the back of your throat.
"Eren," you gasped, desperate. "Please—"
He hummed low against your throat, lazy and cruel and amused.
"Patience," he whispered again, his voice dark, wrecked, and starving. "Good things take time, baby."
You sobbed a little—not even caring anymore how pathetic you sounded.
Eren’s free hand tightened on your hip, holding you down firmly against him, grinding your clothed core against his throbbing length.
You could feel the heat of him through both your thin layers. Could feel how badly he wanted it too.
And still—he dragged his finger in slow, cruel circles over your clit. Feather-light. Not nearly enough. Barely anything at all.
"You’re driving me crazy," you whimpered, nails digging into his bare shoulders.
He laughed quietly—sadistic—then kissed your jaw, your throat, the sensitive skin behind your ear.
"You think you're suffering?" he rasped. "You have no fucking idea what you’re doing to me right now."
You whimpered again, grinding harder.
Eren grunted low in his chest, gripping you tighter.
"Fuck, baby," he growled. "You're so fucking wet... bet I could slip inside you right now and you’d take me so sweet."
You gasped, head dropping against his shoulder, body shuddering with need.
"You want that?" he muttered, hot against your skin. "Want me to fill you up?"
"Yes," you choked out without thinking, hips jerking. "Yes, Eren, please—"
He groaned like he was in pain.
"Not yet," he gritted. "Not until you're ready."
You whimpered brokenly.
"I am," you cried. "I swear—"
He cut you off by slipping a single finger inside you—just barely. Just the tip—teasing, mocking.
You gasped sharply, clenching around nothing.
"You're tight as fuck," he growled. "Gonna have to stretch you out real slow, baby."
You moaned helplessly, thighs trembling around his hips.
Eren pulled his finger back, dragging it slow over your swollen clit again, making you cry out.
"Lesson six," he panted. "Control."
You whimpered, body arching against him.
"If you can stay patient," he murmured, "I'll make you feel so fucking good you won't remember your own name."
You sobbed in frustration, tears pricking your eyes.
He kissed the corner of your mouth, slow and tender.
"You trust me, right?" he whispered.
You nodded frantically, voice breaking.
"Good," he murmured. "Then let me take care of you."
He kissed you again—deeper this time—his tongue licking into your mouth lazily, almost sweetly, as his fingers resumed their torturous, feather-light teasing between your thighs.
You grinded against him desperately, seeking friction, chasing the high he was cruelly keeping just out of reach.
"Please," you sobbed against his mouth.
He chuckled darkly, breathless.
"You're so fucking cute when you beg," he growled. "Makes me wanna wreck you."
You whimpered, thighs quivering.
And then—
Just when you thought you couldn’t take anymore—
He slid one long finger inside you, all the way this time.
You cried out, clenching tight around him.
"Fuck," Eren groaned, forehead dropping to yours. "You're squeezing me so good, baby."
He pumped his finger slow and deep, dragging over every sensitive spot inside you.
You were a writhing, sobbing mess in his lap.
"One finger," he rasped. "You’re already losing your mind."
He added a second finger without warning, stretching you wider.
You gasped, clinging to him.
"Relax, baby," he whispered, kissing your temple. "Breathe."
You did—barely.
He moved his fingers in slow, delicious thrusts, curling them inside you just right.
You cried out, thighs trembling violently.
"Good girl," he praised, voice thick with lust. "Taking me so good."
You felt the coil tightening in your belly—hot and fast and out of control.
"Eren," you gasped. "I—I’m gonna—"
He pulled his fingers out suddenly.
You screamed in frustration, tears spilling down your cheeks.
Eren grinned—dark and wicked—and licked his fingers clean, eyes locked on yours.
"Taste so fucking good," he muttered, voice hoarse.
You whimpered brokenly.
"Why—" you gasped, voice wrecked. "Why'd you stop?"
He grinned lazily, pulling you closer until your soaked panties rubbed against his throbbing cock again.
"Lesson seven," he rasped against your mouth.
You clutched his shoulders, desperate.
"Denial," he whispered.
Your panties were ruined.
Your thighs were trembling.
Your mind was gone.
And Eren was still teasing you — cruel, patient, starving — holding you pinned in his lap, soaked core grinding against the hard line of his cock through his sweats.
"Look at you," he muttered against your ear, voice low and vicious. "Fucking dripping for me."
You sobbed out a noise that wasn’t even a word anymore.
He cupped the back of your neck roughly, forcing you to meet his heavy-lidded gaze.
"You want me to stop?" he rasped.
Your mouth opened — no sound came out.
You shook your head frantically.
"Say it," he growled.
"Don't stop," you whimpered.
His eyes darkened, pupils blown wide with pure lust.
"You have no idea what you're asking for, baby," he muttered.
"I don't care," you cried, grinding desperately against him. "Please, Eren — please, I need you —"
He kissed you — brutal, hot, hungry — biting your bottom lip until you gasped.
"You think I’m just gonna fuck you sweet and gentle because it’s your first time?" he muttered against your mouth. "You’re wrong, baby."
He nipped down your throat — teeth scraping — hand sliding under your panties to finally touch you skin to skin.
You screamed — the feel of his fingers against your bare, swollen clit devastating.
"I’m gonna ruin you," he whispered.
You sobbed.
"Please," you begged again.
And then — —he lifted you slightly off his lap, pushed your panties aside roughly, gripped his cock in one hand—
—and rubbed the head through your soaked folds.
You gasped—full body jerk.
"You feel that?" he muttered. "That’s what’s about to stretch you open."
You could barely breathe, forehead pressed against his shoulder, nails raking down his back.
He groaned low at the feeling — you, clinging to him, desperate and ruined and ready to fall apart.
"Fuck, baby," he growled, voice rough. "You’re shaking."
You whimpered — a pleading, broken sound.
"You’re so fucking small," he gritted, positioning himself. "Gotta go slow. Gotta take my time."
You nodded frantically.
And then—
He pushed in.
Just the tip.
You screamed, whole body locking up around him.
Eren swore viciously, clutching your hips in a bruising grip.
"Fucking tight," he gasped.
You sobbed, forehead pressed against him.
"Relax, baby," he whispered hoarsely, kissing your temple. "You're doing so good."
You tried — you tried — relaxing as best you could.
And slowly—so painfully slow—he sank deeper.
You whimpered, tears leaking from your eyes.
Eren kissed them away, murmuring soft, filthy praises in your ear.
"Taking me so good," he muttered. "So fucking good for me."
You clenched around him, overwhelmed, trembling in his lap.
And when he finally bottomed out — fully seated inside you — you were gasping, shaking, completely wrecked.
Eren groaned into your skin.
"You feel that?" he rasped. "That’s mine now."
You sobbed.
"Yours," you gasped without thinking.
His hips twitched at that — a guttural, broken sound tearing from his throat.
"Fuck," he growled. "Say it again."
"Yours," you choked out, clinging to him. "I’m yours."
He kissed you — hard, brutal, messy.
And then he started moving.
Slow at first — so fucking slow — letting you feel every inch of him dragging against your tight, sensitive walls.
You were crying, overwhelmed with the feeling of him inside you — thick, deep, perfect.
Eren cursed under his breath, hands digging into your hips.
"God, baby," he panted. "You’re milking my cock so good."
You sobbed, burying your face in his neck.
He rocked you in his lap — slow, deep thrusts — groaning low every time you clenched around him.
"You were made for this," he muttered. "Made for me."
You nodded frantically, words beyond you now.
And then he snapped his hips harder — —once.You screamed.
"That’s it," he growled, thrusting harder. "That’s my good fucking girl."
You were gone — Mindless — Ruined — Completely his.
You tightened around him, thighs trembling violently.
"Eren—!" you sobbed. "I'm— I'm gonna—"
"Come for me, baby," he growled, fucking you through it. "Come all over my cock."
You screamed, body seizing — clenching around him so tight he cursed viciously, hips stuttering.
You were gushing around him — soaking him — vision going white.
And Eren— Eren thrust a few more brutal, desperate times—
And came inside you — hard, deep, endless — groaning your name like a prayer.
You collapsed against him, trembling.
He wrapped his arms tight around you, pressing kisses to your damp forehead, breathing you in like he’d never get enough.
"You’re mine now," he whispered.
You sobbed brokenly against his skin.
"Yours," you gasped again. "Always yours."
He smiled against your hair.
"Good girl."
The room smelled like sex and sweat and something dangerous.
You were still shaking in his lap — sore, full, overwhelmed — clinging to him like if you let go you’d fall apart completely.
Eren was breathing hard against your temple, one big hand rubbing slow, grounding circles over your back.
You felt… Destroyed. Safe. Utterly his.
"Shhh," he whispered, voice rough and low. "Got you. I got you."
You whimpered into his chest.
Your thighs were slick with both of you — your panties ruined, his sweats soaked — and you could still feel him pulsing faintly inside you.
"I didn’t hurt you, did I?" he murmured, pulling back just enough to search your face.
His green eyes — usually so cocky, mischievous, infuriating — were wrecked now, wide and frantic and tender.
You shook your head quickly.
"No," you rasped. "Good," he whispered, voice breaking a little. "Good girl.”
He kissed you again — softer this time — just his lips brushing yours, slow and sweet and unbearable.
You whimpered, clutching his shoulders.
He kissed you again, and again — desperate, messy little kisses like he couldn’t stop.
And then, without a word, he scooped you up into his arms — carrying you bridal style toward the bathroom.
You clung to him, dazed.
He kicked the door shut, set you gently down on the edge of the bathtub, and started running the shower — hot and steamy.
You sat there trembling, watching him.
He was still in just his sweats — clinging wetly to his hips — the outline of his cock still hard against the fabric.
His skin was flushed, bitten raw from where you’d scratched him.
And he looked wrecked.
Eren caught you staring and gave you a crooked, fucked-out little smile.
"Like what you see?" he teased, voice hoarse.
You blushed furiously.
He laughed — low and affectionate — and tugged his sweats down, not shy at all.
You sucked in a breath.
Even softening, he was huge — thick, flushed, wet with both of you.
Your thighs pressed together instinctively.
Eren saw — and his smile sharpened into something dark.
But he didn’t say anything. Just stepped into the shower and held a hand out to you.
"C'mere, baby."
You let him pull you up, strip you the rest of the way out of your ruined panties, and guide you into the spray.
The hot water hit your skin — and you whimpered, sore all over, every nerve ending lit up.
Eren pulled you tight against him under the water, cradling your head against his chest.
"You’re so fucking perfect," he murmured into your wet hair.
You whimpered.
He soaped you up slowly — running big hands gently over your arms, your back, the curve of your ass.
Everywhere he touched, you felt like you were burning.
When he got to between your legs, he hesitated — gentle, patient, watching your face.
"Okay?" he murmured.
You nodded quickly.
He touched you so slow — careful around your swollen, sensitive clit — cleaning you up with soft, reverent touches.
You gasped into his chest, trembling.
"You’re so sensitive," he murmured, almost in awe. "Fuck, baby."
You clung to him, panting.
Eren pressed soft kisses to your forehead, your cheeks, your jaw — murmuring nothing words, just your name and mine, mine, mine like he couldn’t help it.
When you were finally rinsed off, he shut the water off and wrapped you both in a big towel, carrying you back to the bed like you weighed nothing.
He tucked you under the covers, crawling in beside you — pulling you flush against him, chest to chest.
You felt everything — his warmth, his heartbeat, his length pressed lazily against your thigh.
He buried his face in your hair, breathing you in.
"You’re mine now," he murmured against your skin.
You shivered.
"I’ve always been yours," you whispered.
Eren groaned low, kissing you like it hurt.
And when you shifted against him, grinding ever so slightly — —he growled.
"You wanna go again, baby?" he muttered against your mouth. "You wanna learn some more lessons?"
You whimpered — helpless, wrecked, desperate for him.
"Please," you whispered. "Please, Eren — teach me."
He grinned — slow and wicked.
"Oh, I’m gonna teach you, baby."
And he kissed you again — —dragging you down, deeper and deeper, into him — —where there was no such thing as friendship anymore. Only this. Only us.
part two here
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samanthacastano02 · 4 months ago
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He Calls you Clingy - Lee Know
Lee Know x FemReader
Trigger Warnings: Angst, fighting, mentions of drug abuse (not by skz or you), forced entry, injury, hospital, inaccurate police and medical talk, cursing
Word Count: 9.2k
Screenshots: 10
Summary: You and Lee Know had been friends for a few years, he had entrusted you to be his cat sitter. Knowing that you would take good care of his cats, over time you had gained feelings for him. You thought that maybe he might feel the same for you but at the same time you weren’t sure because he was always hot and cold towards you. One night when your neighbor attacks you, you text Minho for help but he calls you clingy and tells you to leave him alone. When he comes back from tour and tries to act all friendly, and doesn’t remember, you get upset with him, will you end up forgiving him? 
Photo's not mine (Except for message screenshots) credit goes to photographers
Bang Chan | Seo Changbin | Hwang Hyunjn | Han Jisung | Lee Felix | Kim Seungmin | Yang Jeongin |
I had known Lee Minho for a few years now, I considered him one of my closest friends but I knew that in his mind I was just his cat sitter. Part of me always harbored a secret crush on the quiet man but I knew that he would never see me the same way, I mean why would he? He was an idol, he could get whoever he wanted and I was just me, the girl who would watch his cats for him. Sometimes we would hang out outside of me watching his babies, but most of the time that’s all I ever did. He would sometimes invite me over to a movie night with him and the boys, or a dinner that they were doing. He’d always check in on me after I watched the cats, while I watched them and sometimes even when I hadn’t watched them in a while. Sometimes because of this I’d think that maybe just maybe he felt the same but then he’d go day’s, weeks and even months without speaking to me and it would solidify the fact that he didn’t feel the same way about me. I wish that he did, but I knew that it was wishful thinking and that it was better to try and move on from my crush on him, save myself the heart ache.
Present:
I knew that it was hopeless to hold out the hope that he would one day feel the same for me, but that was the logical side of me. The emotional side of me wanted to keep holding out that hope. I was currently sitting for Minho, I knew that he and Han were going to be back soon from their Hong Kong shows and I knew that they would be tired and want to rest. I tried to stay here as close to when they get home, not entirely because I don’t want to leave the cats home alone but because I don’t want to go home. The neighborhood that I live in is a really bad neighborhood and my neighbor makes it even worse, constantly begging me for money whenever he sees me and if he hears me come home he will bang on my door until I either call the police on him or I give in and give him what little money I have. Unfortunately Han does know about where I live because of the one time he had to take me home after a late night hangout session when my vehicle had been broken. He’s tried to convince me to leave but I can’t move because I can’t afford anywhere else. 
I’m curled up on the couch with all three of the cats laid out in various places around me. I had meant to set my alarm so that I was gone before they got home but in my tired haze I had fallen asleep before I even had the chance. The only reason I even woke up was because I heard Minho grumbling about some reporters at the airport not respecting their space and almost knocking over one of the members. I jolted up, scaring the cats and the boys as they weren’t expecting me to still be at the dorms. 
“Y/nnie? Why are you still here?” Minho asks, setting his bag down by the door. I can see Hans head pop in from the side.
“I accidentally fell asleep before setting an alarm. I didn’t mean to stay until you two came back.”
“What time did you fall asleep y/nnie?” Han asks, finally coming into the living room.
“Uh, what time is it now?”
“It’s a little after 3:30.” Minho responds.
“I fell asleep around 10 then.”
“Why were you here so late?” Minho asks, almost suspicious of me. 
“I felt bad leaving the babies alone.” I try to come up with a believable excuse.
“They would have been fine.” Minho responds, almost seeming to get annoyed. 
“I know, but still. I like being around them and my apartment gets so lonely, and you two were getting back late so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to hang out with them a little later. I just hadn’t meant to fall asleep.”
“It’s ok y/nnie. Minho Hyung is just tired and forgetting to mention that he’s thankful that you didn’t want the kitties to be lonely, right Minho Hyung?”
“Right.” “Right, it’s late or well early. I’ll get out of your guy's hair so that you can get some sleep.”
“You’re going to drive home at three in the morning?” Han asks me, concerned.
“I mean yea, it won’t be that bad of a drive with there being no traffic.”
“Why don’t you just stay here until morning and then in the morning we can go get breakfast and then you can go home?” Han asks, trying to get me to stay. I know he’s trying to get me to stay so that I don’t have to deal with my neighbor.
“Han, just let her go home if she wants to go home.” Minho cuts in.
“Hannie, I’ll be ok. Promise and if I need anything I promise I will text you. I’ve done this drive countless times.”
“Fine, but if you need anything and I mean anything please do not hesitate to reach out to me ok?”
“Ok Hannie, I won't hesitate.”
I grab my bag from staying over and head to the door, Minho doesn’t even say bye to me, but Han walks me down to my car wanting to make sure that I get in ok and it starts. I know that he worries and I feel bad for worrying him, but I can’t stay there with Minho, not when I feel the way I do about him and knowing that he doesn’t feel the same way about me. Han knows that I have feelings for Minho, he keeps telling me that I should confess to Minho. He claims that Minho feels the same way about me but with the way that he treats me in person, I don’t know how to believe him. Minho over the phone is a completely different person to Minho in person, when I am texting Minho he’s super sweet and caring but when I try to talk to him in person he’s super cold and distant, barely showing any interest in me. 
At Home:
To try and prevent my neighbor from realizing that I’m home I turn my lights off a few houses away and when I park I take a few minutes to get everything set so that I can run from my car to my door. I hold my keys in my hand so that as soon as I’m at my front door I can unlock my door, I have my pepper spray in the other hand and my bag over my shoulder. I take a deep breath and get out of my car, shutting my door as quietly as I can, before I take off running to my apartment. I barely make it inside and lock my door before I hear my neighbor come outside. I can tell that he’s not sober tonight and I’m thankful for the fact that I made it inside before he noticed I was home. He came up the stairs to my door, yelling loudly about how he wanted money and that I should give it to him. I tried my best to ignore him but he kept getting louder and soon began to bang on my door. I knew that if I didn’t do something soon either one of the other neighbors would call the police or he would end up breaking my door.
 I didn’t have the energy to deal with him breaking my door so I yelled out that I was calling the police, at this point the police were on speed dial on my phone. I knew that they should have been able to do more than give him a warning but they claimed that because he hadn’t actually broken in there wasn’t anything that they could do. Thankfully with them showing up he would lay low for a few days but it never lasted and it would be back to the same thing in a few days. After all the commotion ended I finally remembered to text Han and let him know that I made it home 
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I’m nervous about how the movie night will go but I’m also too tired to even begin to think about that tonight. I have a week to think about how it might go, and I’m sure that everything will be just fine because it’s not like it’s going to be just the three of us. It’ll be all of the boys there, so there will be multiple people acting as a buffer between Minho and I. I drift off to sleep before I can think too much more about it. 
Movie Night:
My day had already been hellishly long, my boss was an ass and basically using me as his personal punching bag. He had assigned me tasks that were outside of my field, so I had no idea how to do them and when I tried to explain that to him I was reprimanded and told that I was talking back to him. And then when I had to quickly look up the tasks that he wanted me to do, I was reprimanded again for ‘slacking off’ during office hours. And to make matters worse, when I was unable to complete the tasks in the time frame that he wanted, he got angry and basically claimed that I had purposely taken too long to do the tasks because I was trying to fight with him again and was then written up. I tried to bring the issues up to HR but they didn’t do anything about it, basically telling me to suck it up. 
I was thankful that I would get to relax with the guys and enjoy the movie night. I knew that they had already started but Han had said to just come in. He had also mentioned that he had gotten my favorite snacks and had convinced Minho to cook my favorite dinner, leaving a plate of it in the fridge for me. Sometimes I wish that I saw Han the way that I saw Minho, but I only saw Han as a brother and that’s all I would ever see him as and he would only ever see me as a sister. 
When I walked into Han and Minho’s dorm, I could hear the boys laughing about something happening in the movie, it was nice to see them finally getting time to relax. I quickly took off my work shoes and slipped on the slippers that Minho had gotten for me when I cat sit. Before I can move further into the dorm I’m greeted by Soonie and Dori, I eagerly lean down and pet them. Happy to see them after such a long day, I want to see Doongie but I’m sure that he’s either with Minho or is hiding somewhere with all the commotion around the dorm. When I stand up I find Minho standing in front of me, I give him a small smile but he doesn’t return it. I swallow nervously, Minho can look very intimidating when he wants to and right now he looks really intimidating. 
“What are you doing here?” Minho questions me.
“Han invited me, he um said it was ok with you and the rest of the guys.” “Well I’m not ok with it. This was supposed to be a guys night, not a guys night plus you.”
“I’m sorry. I had specifically told Han to ask you before inviting me.”
“Just go home y/n.” I’ve heard Minho angry, and his tone is getting close to that. I inhale sharply, not expecting his tone. 
“I’m really sorry Minho. I’m really tired and it’s a long drive home for me, Han said that I could crash in his room tonight. So I will just go in there instead of joining for movie night, ok?”
“It’s what, a 30 minute drive? Just go home, I don’t want you here and no one else except for Han wants you here.” His words hit me like a slap to the face, I take a step back as if he had just done that. 
“Look Minho, I am sorry for intruding on your guys night, I truly didn’t mean to. I will stay out of your hair, but I have had a long day and really do not have the energy to drive home tonight. It’ll be as if I’m not even here, ok?.” I say, trying to fight back tears at his cruel words. 
“Whatever.” He says before angrily turning back towards the living room. 
I wait until I am calm enough that I know I won’t break into tears before walking towards Han’s room. Just as I’m about to pass Han he grabs my wrist, giving me a questioning look but all I can do is shake my head at him. I don’t want to explain to him what just happened, so I lightly tug my wrist free from his hand and continue to his bedroom. I don’t have to look behind me to know that he’s following me, I know he can see that I’m upset and he won’t leave me alone until he knows why. 
“Y/nnie, you look like you're about ready to burst into tears. What’s wrong?”
“It’s just been a long day, my boss is an ass and then there’s Minho.” “What did Minho do?” “Oh you know, just being his usual self.”
“I don’t know what you mean by that y/n.”
“Hannie, he told me that no one wants me here except for maybe you.” I say while giving up on fighting the tears
“He said that?”
“Yes, he said that tonight was guys night. Not guys night plus me.” “I’m sorry y/n. When I asked him on Saturday he said that he was fine with you joining us.”
“Hannie, I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep dealing with his whiplash emotions, I can’t handle it anymore.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m done Hannie. I give up, I’m giving up on the one person that I really think that I’ve loved.” “Y/nnie, I am begging you. Do not give up just yet, give it just a little more time.” “Hannie, I want to believe you when you say that he feels the same but after tonight, I just don’t know how to anymore.” “Don’t give up just yet, ok?” “I don’t know. Not anymore.” “Don’t think about it tonight, just get some sleep. I’ll be out in the living room if you need anything.” I don’t argue with Han and let myself fall into his bed, he wraps the blankets around me like a cacoon. Pretty soon after I am out like a light and the world is dead to me. 
Han’s POV:
I march out of my bedroom and into the living room, when I spot Minho I march over to him. I grab him by the ear and drag him into the kitchen. I can see and hear the other members call after us in question but I’m too focused on Minho and knocking some sense into him before he loses the one girl he’s ever wanted. As I drag him, I can hear him cry out in pain but at this point I can’t find it in myself to care, he deserves a little pain after what he’s doing to y/n.
“Ow. Han, what are you doing? Will you let go of my ear?” “What am I doing? What are you doing?”
“What do you mean? You’re the one dragging me by my ear.”
“You’re the one who is about to lose y/n if you don’t get your shit together.”
“What do you mean I’m going to lose y/n?” “If you keep up this cold and distant act, you are going to lose her.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because, she is under the impression that you have no feelings for her and that any hope of a relationship with you is false hope.” “What? She doesn’t think that.” “Yes, she does. You are losing her and unless you change how you act, you will lose her for good.”
“I don’t want to lose her.”
“Then stop being an idiot and get your shit together.” “Right. I need to apologize, I said something pretty shitty to her tonight.”
“Yeah, you did. Why in the actual fuck would you say that to her? Of course the others would want to see her.” “I don’t know why I said that to her, I wasn’t thinking. I panicked when I saw her.”
“Well, apologize to her tomorrow. She’s already asleep.”
Your POV:
The Next Morning: 
When I woke up, it was hard to open my eyes. I tried my best to not cry myself to sleep but I knew that it was hopeless and ended up allowing myself to succumb to the tears, and now my eyes were swollen from it. I was nervous to leave Han’s room, I knew the guys had the day off so that meant that I would have to see Minho before leaving. I changed into my extra clothes before working up the courage to leave Han’s room, when I exited his room I was hit with the smell of sweet pancakes and bacon. When I walked past the kitchen, I saw that Minho was moving swiftly, cooking the pancakes and bacon for the other members. My stomach growled with hunger but I knew that if I tried to stay, it would just anger him more. So I ducked my head and headed to the front entryway to put my shoes on, wanting to leave before Minho noticed so that he didn’t have another chance to yell at me. 
“You're leaving already? You haven’t eaten yet?” The voice behind me causes me to freeze, I slowly turn to find Minho standing behind me. 
“I promised I would leave in the morning.”
“You don’t have to leave before you get to eat, though.”
“I don’t want to give you another reason to be upset with me Minho.” “Y/n, I want to apologize for how I acted last night. It was unfair of me to treat you that way, you did nothing to deserve that.” “Then why did you treat me that way?” “I don’t know, truthfully.” “That’s not an excuse Minho, what you said was really cruel.”
“I know, I know it was. I am really sorry, I don’t know why I said that and I wish that I did know why.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say Minho.” “I don’t expect you to say anything, just please stay for breakfast. At least eat before you go. You don’t have to talk to me, just at least eat please.”
“I’m only eating because it smells good, and I’m hungry.” “That’s ok.”
I quickly eat and as I go to leave Minho apologizes once again, I don’t quite forgive him but I let him know that if he can get his act together and actually treat me with the respect and kindness that I deserve I might be able to forgive him. 
Over the next few months, leading up to the American leg of their tour he worked hard in proving to me that he is sorry for what he said and that he never meant it. He makes sure to invite me to every movie night, he brings by lunch for me when he has breaks at the company. He still doesn’t know where I live and I really hope to keep it that way because I honestly don’t want to worry yet another person. Han already worries enough about me, I don’t need to add Minho to that list. 
The day before Minho and Han had to leave for their tour I was going to go over to spend time with them, since they would be gone from May all the way until August. They wouldn’t be in the States the entire time, I knew that they were excited for the tour. They were always excited to see Stay but I also knew that they weren’t excited to be away from home for this long, but with how few days they had in between concerts, it didn’t make sense for them to come home. As I was getting ready to head over to their apartment my neighbor must have heard me because he was waiting outside my door for me, when I noticed him I try to step back into my apartment but he follows me. 
“Come on y/n, you’ve been avoiding me. I want my money.” “It’s not your money, Will. You just steal it from me.”
“Doesn’t matter, I still want money. I know you have it, so give it to me.” “I don’t have anything to give you. Please leave, or I’m going to call the police.” “You think that they’ll do anything? All they’ll do is give me a warning, just like they always do.” “Will, you need to leave. This is my apartment, you do not have permission to be here.”
“That doesn’t matter. Give me money, and I will leave.” “Get out.”
“No, give me money first.”
I try to get past him, to where my phone is, but he blocks my path. Grabbing my arm harshly, pulling me away from where my phone was, I knew that I needed to get away from him before things escalated even more. I against my better judgement break my arm free from his grasp, I ignore the snap that I hear and rush for my phone. I make it barely and when I turn around Will is right behind me, he smacks my phone out of my hand. I drop to the floor with my phone, swiping my leg against his, trying to knock him down. Thankfully it works and he goes down, I jump up as quickly as I can and run out of my apartment, I make it to my car and get inside just as he’s coming out of my apartment. I don’t wait and book it out of the parking lot, calling the police as well as heading to the hospital, knowing that I more than likely broke my arm in the process of escaping. I called Han and let him know that I won’t be there tonight, that something came up and I will explain it all in the morning, and that before they leave I might need some help with some things while I stay at their place. 
While I’m at the hospital, the police come and explain that they were able to find my neighbor and thanks to the security cameras my landlord had installed after the last incident they were able to arrest him, and he would be going away at least for a few months. I would also be able to get a restraining order against him now that he had actually broken into my home and caused me bodily harm, he had broken my wrist and fractured my arm. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to go back to my apartment tonight since it was still considered an active crime scene, so with some hesitation I pulled out my phone and texted Minho. Hoping that he would be willing to help me, even though I knew he was stressed while getting ready for tour. 
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I’m in shock by Minho’s response that I don’t even know how to respond to him. I know that sometimes he can have a short temper but I never expected him to call me clingy. He never even gave me the chance to explain to him why I needed to stay with him and Han. If I could, I would stay at my apartment but I literally don’t have a choice. I don’t know what else to do, I can feel the burning sensation of tears beginning to form, I don’t want to cry but everything is becoming too much for me. Before I know it, I’m sobbing quietly to myself in the hospital room. When the nurse comes to check on me, she asks if I’m in pain, I’m not. Just distraught and slightly heartbroken about being called clingy by the person I’m in love with. She asks me if there is anyone that she can call to come and pick me up. I know that I can’t call Han, because it would upset Minho more so I decided to have her call Chan. I know he might be upset about being bothered but at least he might be willing to help me. 
Chan’s POV:
I had just finished helping Innie pack when I heard my phone ringing out in the living room. I wasn’t expecting a call from anyone so I was going to ignore it but something in my gut told me not to ignore it. When I looked at the number, it was a number that wasn’t saved in my phone, hesitantly I answered it. 
“Hello? Who is this?” I asked whoever was calling.
“Hi, this is one of the nurses calling from SNUH. Is this Bang Chan?”
“This is he, who are you calling about?”
“I have a miss L/n Y/n here. She requested that I call you to come pick her up.” 
“Is she ok?”
“She’s ok, she had an incident with her neighbor and had to be brought in. Unfortunately that is all the information that I’m allowed to give.”
“Alright, I’ll be there as soon as I can. Thank you for calling me.”
I was shocked that y/n had the hospital call me rather than Han or Minho, two of the members that she was closest to. But I wasn’t going to question it, because there must have been a reason that she had them contact me. I rushed over to Innie’s room, letting him know that I was heading out to pick her up. 
“Hey, Innie. I have to go pick up y/n.”
“Pick her up?”
“Yeah, I just got a call from the hospital. Apparently she got into a fight or something with her neighbor and had to be brought in.” “Can I come with you?”
“Yeah, just hurry up and get your shoes on.”
Y/n’s POV:
The nurse came back in to let me know that she had gotten a hold of Chan and that he was on his way to come pick me up. I was thankful that I knew I could at least rely on him to be there for me if I needed him. I must have fallen asleep while waiting because when I woke up, Innie was sitting next to me while Chan was out in the hallway filling out my discharge paperwork. When I.N noticed that I was awake he immediately started to accidentally bombarding me with questions about what happened and why I was in the hospital. 
“Slow down Innie. One question at a time please.”
“Sorry Noona.” “It’s ok, what’s your first question?”
“What happened?”
“My neighbor got angry that I wouldn’t give him money and attacked me.” “Why did your neighbor want money from you?” “He’s a drug addict. He wanted money from me for drugs.”
“Has he asked you for drug money before?” “Yes, he has.” “Has he been harassing you for a long time?”
“Since I moved in.” “But you’ve been living there for like two years, Noona.”
“I know.” “Why did you never say anything? We would have done something to help.” “I didn’t want you guys doing something and then getting in trouble.” “Do you really think we care more about our image than you?” I hear Channie ask from the doorway, he must have been listening into the conversation. 
“I know you don’t, that’s why I didn’t say anything. I would have moved but I couldn’t afford to.” “If you had told any of us, we would have helped pay for a new place for you.” Innie added in “Han knew.” “He didn’t offer to pay for a place?” Innie asked.
“He did, but I didn’t want to take advantage of you guys. You all already do so much for me. I couldn’t ask you guys to do something like that for me.” “We would have, we would have willingly.” Chan added in. 
“I know you would have.” “Let us help you find a new place when we get back from tour. Please?” Chan and I.N ask. 
“You two aren’t going to take no for an answer are you?” “Nope, not after finding out what you have been dealing with for so long.” I.N answers.
“Fine.
“Yay!” Innie seems to practically glow with excitement. 
“How long do you have to keep your cast on?” Channie asks 
“I get it off in July but I will be in a brace until about mid August.”
“Ok, just be careful. Ok?”
“Ok.”
We soon leave the hospital and they take me to their dorm. I go to get myself situated on the couch but before I can Chan is picking me up and taking me into his room. I let out a squeal of shock before trying to convince him to set me down. 
“Chan put me down, what are you doing?”
“What makes you think that you will be sleeping on the couch?”
“There’s nowhere else to sleep?” “I’m sleeping with I.N tonight. You’ll take my bed.”
“Channie, I can’t do that.” “You can and will.” “I can’t kick you out of your own bed.” “You aren’t kicking me out if I’m willingly giving it to you.” “I’m too tired to argue so fine.” “Thank you for not arguing, now get some sleep.”
It’s not long after my head hits the pillow that I’m out like a light. I didn’t know if the boys would wake me up in the morning or not because I knew that they had an early flight. I wanted to say bye to them but I also wanted to be able to sleep more. The struggle was real, do I choose to sleep more or do I get up with them and say bye. I decided that when I hear them get up and begin to move around I would get up as well and say bye to them, because I would still have to go over to Minho and Han’s dorm. When the boys got into the car to head to the airport I sent them off with a hug and a wave, promising to keep them updated on my arm. 
When I finally made it to Han and Minho’s dorm, I was tired and ready to crash again. But I knew that there were still a few things that I needed to do before I could do that. I also knew that it would be a little harder to take care of the cats with a broken arm but I knew that I would be able to manage. After getting everything done for the day, it gave me time to think about what Minho had said to me. I had genuinely thought that there was a friendship between the two of us but obviously I was wrong. I saw him as a friend, as someone who could possibly be more but he only saw me as a cat sitter. The more I think about what he said, the more I begin to overthink our entire friendship and if it was ever truly a friendship. What if all the times that I thought he was my friend, he was just pretending so that he didn’t lose his cheap cat sitter. Before I know it, tears are streaming down my face, sobs racking my chest and I can barely breathe. I can feel myself begin to spiral into a panic, but before I can panic fully I feel a soft head butt against my hands. I see that Dori is trying to get my attention, so I lean back against the couch and allow him to crawl onto me, allowing him to distract me from my spiralling panic. I allow the distraction to calm me down. 
Over the next few months of their tour, the boys checked up on me. Han checked up on me the most, Chan and Innie the next most. But Minho never texted me and I never texted him, if he told me that I was too clingy and that I was just the cat sitter then that was all I was going to be to him. If he didn’t want my friendship then I wasn’t going to force it and I wasn’t going to let myself get sad over the fact that he didn’t want me in the same way that I wanted him. I knew that Chan had at least told Han what had happened because he had asked about my arm and the pain, and when I said that it was achy, a heating pad arrived at the dorm the next day. If I said that I needed anything he always made sure to get it delivered for me. I knew that I could rely on Han for anything that I might need while watching the cats, and I was thankful for that. 
Last Day of Tour:
It was finally the last day of their tour and I knew that the boys were anxious to get home, they had been gone for almost four months and I knew that traveling had worn them out. Like usual they would be home late again, so I would stay as close to when they got home and then go home. I knew that it would be a long drive but I was fine with that, I knew that I didn’t have to worry about my neighbor anymore but it was still lonely at my apartment. I had made sure to sleep earlier in the day so that I wouldn’t sleep through my alarm and I would be able to leave before they got home. 
I was getting ready to leave when I heard the front door open. They were home sooner than they had said that they were going to be, I had already brought my things down to my car so all I needed to grab was my coat and I would be all set to go. Han wasn’t that surprised to see me still here but I could tell that Minho was when he saw me. When Han saw me, he rushed to give me a hug, making sure to avoid my still injured arm. Minho stood off to the side, watching the whole exchange happen, when he saw the brace on my arm I could see the shock and question in his eyes but I chose to ignore it and him. 
“Y/nnie, it’s so good to see you.” Han said with excitement but also tiredness. 
“It’s good to see you too Hannie, we’ll have to catch up when you aren’t tired.” “We definitely will.” “I’m going to head home, let you get some sleep.” “Drive safe ok?”
“I will.”
Minho looks like he wants to say something but I’m out the door before he even has the chance to. It hurts to ignore him but he ignored me all of his tour, and before his tour he made it very clear as to where I stand with him. By the time I get home, I’m exhausted and am asleep before I can even text Han that I made it home. By the time I wake up in the morning I wake up to a barrage of text messages from both Han and Minho. 
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I don’t know how to respond to Minho, so I don’t. He wants me to forgive him but how can I after he said that to me, after I thought that he was my friend and he called me clingy. I decided not to dwell on it and get ready to meet up with Han. I knew that I would be able to talk to him about it, and he would be able to tell me what I should try to do. I knew that I could rely on him for help, he always knew what to say and what to do. When I finally saw him, he had a table saved for us and food already ordered. It was crazy that he always knew what I wanted to eat, even when I didn’t.
“How are you doing y/nnie?”
“I’ve been better.” “What’s been going on?” He tilts his head to the side, in question.
“Minho.”
“What about him?”
“Before you all left for tour, he said some pretty hurtful things to me.” “What did he say to you?”
“The night of my accident, I had initially texted him for help but he told me that he was busy and that I should just stay at my apartment.”
“That’s not that bad.”
“It gets worse.” “Oh no.” “He called me clingy and said that all I was, was a cat sitter to him.” “He did not.” “He did.” “That doesn’t sound like him though.”
“I have the texts to prove it, Hannie.” “I believe you.”
“And then he had the audacity to pretend that he doesn’t remember doing that, after having not texted me all of tour.”
“He didn’t text you the entire time we were on tour?” “Nope, not once. Not even to check in on the cats.” “That’s crazy because there were times where he told the group that he was texting you when he was on his phone.” “Well he was lying. Before his message today, the last message I have from him is him calling me clingy.”
“Jeez y/n I’m so sorry.” “I just don’t know what to do because he wants me to forgive him.”
“You don’t want to, do you?”
“Not really, no. He hasn’t done anything to earn my forgiveness.” “Then tell him that he needs to prove that he’s sorry and that he has to earn your forgiveness.” “Do you think that I should forgive him?”
“If I was in your place. I think that I would eventually, but not right away.” “So you think that I should eventually, just not right away?” “Yes.” “Ok.”
“But, ultimately in the end that decision is up to you.” “I know that I shouldn’t but I still love him.”
“Then make him work for your forgiveness.” “Thank you for being able to help me, Hannie.” “Of course y/nnie.”
We talked for a few more hours, catching up and what we each missed in each other's lives while he was away on tour and just life in general. I knew that I would have let Minho know that he would have to work for my forgiveness, but it would take more than just a few words over a text message. Soon, Han and I parted ways, promising to meet up again soon. 
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Over the next few weeks Minho worked hard in trying to show that he was sorry, he would text me every day asking me how I am, if I needed anything. When I was moved into a new apartment he was the first one to offer up money to pay and the first one to offer help in moving my things. Anytime the guys were having a hang out night, he made sure to invite me, and if I didn’t feel like driving he would come and get me. I could tell that he was trying but I was still hesitant, because what if he switched it up on me again? What if he changed his attitude towards me again? I didn’t want to let my guard down around him.
It was the weekly movie night that they had. I was tired from work and didn’t feel like driving so I wasn’t going to go but Minho had offered to come and get me. I knew the guys would be sad if I didn’t come so I allowed him to come get me. The car ride over to his dorm was quiet, so quiet that I was slowly falling asleep. When we got there he gently shook me awake, before getting out and rushing around to my side of the car to open my door for me. He was being sweeter than normal and it shocked me, I didn’t know why. 
“Before we go up, why are you being so sweet?”
“What do you mean?” “Even before this whole thing, you were never this sweet to me.” “I want to apologize, this is my way of saying sorry.”
“You don’t have to be so sweet about it Minho.” “Why don’t you call me Min anymore?”
“What?”
“Before, you used to call me Min. But now you only call me Minho.”
“I guess it’s just habit now.”
“I miss when you called me Min.” “I guess I can try to start calling you that again.”
“Y/n, I just want to say again how sorry I am. Not a day goes by where I am not sorry enough for what I said.”
“I’m starting to forgive you Min. It just takes time.” 
“Y/n, before we go up. I need to tell you something.”
“What is it?” “I’m probably stupid for saying this, and this probably will undo all the work I’ve done but I can’t keep it to myself anymore.”
“You’re worrying me.”
“Y/n, I like you. I have for a while now.”
“What.” “I like you y/n, romantically.” “You do? Why?”
“What do you mean why?”
“Why do you like me? You could like or have anyone you want, so why me?” “Why not you, you are kind, beautiful, caring, loving, my cats love you, maybe more than me. My friends absolutely adore you, I adore you y/n. You make my days brighter, you make tough days easier.”
“If you like me, then why didn’t you text me when you were on tour?” “Truthfully I don’t know. I wish I had, I know I should have. I think that I felt guilty for having been so rude when you needed my help.”
“Han, and the guys always said that you felt the same. But I never believed them because you were always so hot and cold towards me.”
“Wait, felt the same?” “Yes, Min. I liked you too.” “Liked, past tense.”
“Like, present tense. I still like you Minho, but I’m scared. I’m scared that you will go back to being how you were before your tour. Being hot and cold towards me.” I say quietly, not looking at him.
“Y/n, I want you to know. I am so sorry for treating you like that, I didn’t know how to handle my feelings for you. It was actually thanks to Han that I had some sense knocked into me before the tour and then I went and ruined that. I also want you to know that I will never treat you that way again.” he reaches forward and grabs my hands 
“I’m scared Min.”
“You don’t have to be scared, I won’t ever do that to you again.” he reaches up, tilting my head to look at him. I let him, looking into his eyes, I can see the honesty and sadness at the hurt that he had caused me in the past. 
“Min, what are we doing?” I whisper.
“I really want to kiss you y/n. But I won’t unless I have your permission.” he looks between my eyes and lips.
“Kiss me Min, please. I want to stop living in fear.”
He doesn’t respond, instead he leans in slowly, kissing my lips softly, giving me the chance to pull away if I change my mind. But when I press into him more, he wraps one of his arms around my waist and pulls me into him, deepening the kiss. My arms go around him, not wanting to let him go. This kiss feels like no other kiss, it feels like fireworks are going off. It’s a feeling that I can’t even begin to describe. We both don’t want to pull away but we need to breathe, we also both knew that we should head up and meet up with the rest of the guys. 
“Min, what does this mean for us?”
“What do you want this to mean for us?” “I want us to be together.”
“Then we can be together.” “But do you want us to be together?”
“Of course I do. I have wanted to be with you for years y/n.”
“Years?” “Yes, years. SInce the first time that I met you.”
“I want to be your girlfriend Minho.”
“I want you to be my girlfriend, y/n. But I want to ask you the right way. Let me take you on a proper date, let me ask you the right way.”
“Can I still sit with you tonight during the movie?”
“Are you asking if you can still cuddle with me during the movie?” “Yes.”
“Yes, y/n you can.”
I can’t contain my excitement and rush forward, hugging him. He immediately wraps his arms around me, hugging me back. We hug each other for a few minutes before letting go, heading up to the dorm. He grabs my hand, making me smile. When we walk in, the guys don’t seem to pay much attention until we sit down on the couch together. They all seem shocked, except Han, when Minho pulls me into him. We ignore their shocked faces, continuing to be in our own world. 
Epilogue:
Minho doesn’t tell me where he’s taking me on our date, just that I should wear a cute dress and comfy shoes. I keep trying to convince him to tell me but he won’t, saying that I would like the surprise. When he picked me up, he was wearing a nice button down and jeans. I had on a nice summer dress and some flats. 
When we finally got to where the date was, I was shocked to see that he was taking me to an aquarium. I was surprised that he had remembered that I had even mentioned liking them, years ago, in passing. As we walked throughout the aquarium, I couldn’t contain my excitement at getting to experience an aquarium date. I don’t know how but at some point near the end of the date we both end up alone in one of the areas, I’m not paying much attention to anything else except for the fish. If I was paying attention to Minho, I would see that he’s taking pictures of me, in my own world. I feel a tap on my shoulder so I turn towards Minho, smiling brightly at him. 
“Are you enjoying the date y/nnie?”
“I am, this is the best date ever.” “I’m glad that you are enjoying it.” “Thank you for this.” “You’re welcome.” “Can we do this again sometime?” “We can do this whenever you want y/n.”
“Thank you, for everything Min.”
“Thank you, y/n. For forgiving me and for giving me this chance.” He gives me a quick kiss.
“I’m glad that you fought me, made me see that you were sorry.”
“Y/n, I want to ask.”
“Yes?”
“Will you be my girlfriend?”
“Yes Min, I will.” I say excitedly. Jumping onto him. He catches me, spinning me around while kissing me. 
We spend the rest of the afternoon walking around the aquarium before getting dinner at the small diner next door. We soon headed back to his dorm, he had mentioned that the others might be there since they all had the night off and Han had offered to host another movie night. With them having just finished a world tour they had some much needed time off, so they were having a lot of movie nights. Minho had invited me and I wanted to spend more time with him, so I accepted his offer, knowing that I would probably end up falling asleep at their place. 
When we walk into the dorm, I can hear commotion happening. It sounds like Felix is bothering Innie again and Innie is trying to get Chan to help him but he’s just standing back and watching it all unfold. When the members see Minho and I walk in, everyone stops what they are doing, I immediately get shy, while Minho continues to act the same. 
“Are you two finally together?” Felix is the first one to break the tension.
“Yes Felix we are.” Minho answers 
“Fucking finally.” Hyunjin answers from the kitchen.
“You sound like you’ve been waiting forever.” Minho says.
“We have. Or at least that’s what it feels like.” Han says from the couch.
We ignore them, heading into Minho’s room. Minho sets out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt for me to change into since I hadn’t brought anything with me before our date. He leaves me to change, while I change I can hear the guys giving him shit, but I know that they are just giving him a hard time in a friendly way. Once I’m done changing, he changes and we all settle down to watch a movie. I know that the guys support our relationship and hopefully one day Stay will support it as well. It took time but I did forgive him, and he knows that if he ever treats me that way again, I won’t forgive him. But I truly don't think that he will make that mistake again, I want to believe that we will continue to be happy together with each other and with our friends.
Bang Chan | Seo Changbin | Hwang Hyunjn | Han Jisung | Lee Felix | Kim Seungmin | Yang Jeongin |
@vietjeb @riri53
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elleaitch22 · 2 months ago
Text
Terms of Endearment
Chapter 4: Terms and Conditions
Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Azzi Fudd
A/N: Hope you love it! Comments and messages motivate me to write faster! xx Elle
Warnings: References to past abusive relationship, self-worth issues, power imbalances
Word Count: 3.7k
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Azzi hadn’t slept well for the rest of the week. She spent her nights tossing and turning, weighing the pros and cons to agreeing with Paige’s offer.
Paige had reverted to her normal, detached self by Wednesday morning, and Azzi was relieved to know that if she accepted the offer, it wouldn’t be obvious to her coworkers.
When Azzi’s answer was still up in the air on Thursday, she spent the night writing an actual pros and cons list.
Pros
Paige was obnoxiously wealthy, so whatever compensation she offered could have Azzi out of debt in months.
She could seem desirable again, even if she wasn’t truly desired by her “partner.”
She wouldn’t always be so lonely, since she’d able to spend more time with Soleil.
She would feel loved, purely loved, by Soleil.
Cons
Azzi is easily attached, and her heart would definitely break when Paige met someone new and decided to end their arrangement.
She would probably forget that everything is fake at some point.
Worst of all, Azzi might find out that Grant had been right about everything. She wasn’t worth anything by being a pretty little trophy.
The potential benefits greatly outweigh the consequences.
She could gain her livelihood, or she could lose her heart. Or worse, she could feel like she belonged somewhere, just to be reminded that she didn’t.
If something doesn’t scare you it’s not worth it, Azzi.
Her mind was made up.
She was going to accept Paige’s offer — and hope, pray, and beg that she wouldn’t fall for the blonde in the meantime.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Azzi felt confident walking toward room 35, or at least that’s what she told herself. She was wearing a short, black corset and her favorite pair of floor shoes. All of her hair had been gathered to sit on the top of her head, intentional in its imperfection. She wore dramatic makeup — a brown smoked out eye and red lip.
Tonight’s look was armor, but her chest still tightened with every step she took.
She walked into the suite at 10:58, heart racing, and froze for a second.
Paige was already there, stretched lazily across the couch, one arm draped along the back, the other nursing a Dirty Shirley.
“Hi, Paige.” Her voice small, but steady.
The woman in question smirked, lifting her drink lazily to her lips. “Good evening, Azzi. I’m assuming you made up your mind?”
Azzi shifts on her feet, fighting the urge to cross her arms. She needs something to do with her hands. Tug at a curl, fix her corset, hide. “Um, yes. I’d like to accept.” She hesitated, then added, “But I would like more information.”
Paige tilted her head, studying the brunette intently. “Well, first,” she said, her voice smooth, low, and disarmingly soft, “I need you to look at me.”
The words slipped into Azzi’s bloodstream like warm liquor, and she was helpless to do anything but obey. Without thinking, she lifted her chin, locking eyes with her — and immediately felt the air leave her lungs. Paige’s gaze was steady, calm, utterly unbothered, like Azzi’s nerves, her overthinking, her entire body were small and manageable things to her.
“Good. Thank you, Azzi.” A beat of silence. “Come sit.”
It wasn’t a command exactly, but Azzi knew it wasn’t a request either.
A blush bloomed high on her cheeks. Every step across the room felt like a giant’s, even though the only audible sound in the room was the low voice of Brent Faiyaz and the light clicking of her shoes.
When she reached the couch, she hesitated for a second, not wanting to sit too close or too far.
Over the next hour, the mood shifted. Azzi had expected teasing, ogling, or inappropriate comments, but Paige had don’t none of those things. Instead, they went through all expectations, like an informal contract.
No signatures, no pens, no pressure, just Paige steadily outlining terms, giving Azzi the space to breathe, question, or push back if she wanted.
Azzi was completely disarmed by the ten-minute mark.
The arrangement would initially last for six months, with the option to renew if both parties agreed. Like any typical job, Azzi would need to give Paige two weeks of notice before ending it.
Azzi didn’t say it, but she was relieved. She would not be trapped. It was a small kindness that meant everything to her.
She listened as Paige explained the appearances she would have to make as Paige’s partner: business events, charity galas, and dinners. There would also be at least one weekly outing with Paige, Soleil, or both for appearances.
Azzi agreed with everything until Paige added, “Apparel will be styled by Jana. All expenses covered.”
Grant used to dress her, and she hated it. “I can pick my own outfits, right?”
There was a playful glint in Paige’s eye, “Of course, J always provides options.”
When the two discussed physical affection, Azzi bit the inside of her pink cheeks.
It wasn’t mandated, but handholding, hugs, cheek kisses – casual intimacy – would be what sold their illusion.
Azzi sent up a silent prayer because God knows Azzi is a sucker for a forehead or cheek kiss. This was going to end very badly for her.
The confidentiality clause came next. Paige offered an NDA, but when she said it wasn’t required, Azzi declined.
“I don’t really have any close friends in the city.”
When the conversation moved to compensation, the first crackle of real tension sparked between them.
“I want to pay you five thousand a week, “Paige said smoothly, swirling the ice in her glass, a tequila soda now. “Minimum”
Azzi choked on the espresso martini Paige had ordered for her. She stared at the blonde, eyes and mouth wide. “Five thousand a month would be more than enough! I don’t –”
Paige’s answering grin was lazy, slow, and pure trouble. “I think you should just accept the offer, Azzi,” she said, melting deeper into the couch. “Because honestly, I wanted to do more.”
Azzi’s hands curled into fists. “You’re being ridiculous. What if I don’t accept?”
“If you don’t want to agree, that’s fine.” Azzi brightened, not noting the smirk covered by the glass. “I’ll just pay off all your shit now.”
Azzi blinked, cheeks burning. “You don’t even have any of my account information.”
Paige lowered her glass a bit, letting Azzi see her smirk. “You really don’t think I could figure it out?” Azzi’s heart stuttered watching Paige take another sip of her drink, “Now I’m tempted to since you doubt me.”
Azzi’s mouth opened, then shut. Her thighs pressed together involuntarily. There was a thrill in the threat. Grant wanted the restrict her money, but Paige wanted to give her more. Her instance helped knock down another wall.
“Please,” Paige added, voice dry as summer heat, “keep arguing, so I can pay you more.”
Azzi folded.
When Paige informed her that she’d be paying an extra thousand dollars for major events, Azzi had to physically restrain herself from crossing her arms and pouting. She muttered something unintelligible under her breath that made Paige laugh, a low and genuine sound that tugged at something vulnerable inside Azzi. “That’s what I thought,” Paige smirked.
They moved through the rest of the agreement without any issues – conduct expectations, social media, and emotional boundaries.
Paige was relaxed a lazily throughout the entire conversation.
But when the subject of perks came up again, Paige shifted slightly. More careful and deliberate now that she had a better understanding of Azzi Fudd.
Azzi listed as Paige explained – the respect, the equal treatment, the way the media would spin the story of Chicago’s favorite bachelorette finally off the market.
It almost reassured her until Paige popped her happy little bubble.
She cleared her through and said, almost casually, “I want you to live in my building.”
Azzi stiffened. She set her martini glass down roughly.
“Absolutely not.”
Paige flushed – the first real crack in her shiny armor – and lifted her hands slightly, almost as if she wanted to show she wasn’t armed. “Hear me out, Azzi. Please.”
Azzi arched a brow and folded her arms across the corset. She fought a smirk at the way Paige’s eyes briefly darted to her cleavage. Another crack in the armor.
“I own the building,” Paige said quickly. “I also –” She hesitated, “I’ve never dated anyone publicly before. Even when I was married, no one knew until after the fact. So, if I’m going to be seen with someone, it’s supposed to be serious. Marriage serious.”
Azzi stared at her, stunned. “No one even knows where I live!”
Paige’s voice sharpened. “You don’t think they’re going to find out?” She pressed her fingers into her temple. “I’m a celebrity, Azzi. They’re going to figure it out. They’re going to know everything about you in a few days.”
A breath.
“I need to protect you. Please let me.”
Paige didn’t command it.
She didn’t even say it like an order.
It was…pleading.
She was pleading to keep Azzi safe.
Something cracked open in Azzi’s chest.
Whether Paige had picked up on her need for safety or simply cared in her own stubborn way, Azzi didn’t know.
But either way – she was sold.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Azzi found out on Saturday morning that Paige Bueckers didn’t do anything halfway. At 7 a.m. sharp, movers were outside her apartment, loading her things into a truck bound for her new home for the next six months.
About thirty minutes in, one of the movers casually mentioned that a car was waiting downstairs.
She scrambled to get dressed, pulling on biker shorts, an oversized t-shirt, and a pair of worn Crocs. She brushed her teeth in a hurry, and her hair was tossed up in an extremely messy ponytail.
Waiting outside the blacked-out Escalade was a tall, slim brunette, way too smiley for this hour. “Good morning Ms. Fudd,” she chirped happily. “My name’s Morgan. Paige assigned me to be your driver.”
Azzi blinked. Obviously, she hadn’t woken up all the way. “Oh. Please call me Azzi. And only for today, right?” She questioned.
“Oh, no,” Morgan shrugged like it was completely normal. “Just whenever she tells me to stop, I guess.”
Her brain buffered. They hadn’t talked about car service. Azzi yanked her phone from where it was tucked in her bra, slowly shutting her eyes and realizing that she didn’t even have Paige’s number. She huffed loudly, stomping to the back door.
“I don’t care what she told you to do, but I need you to take me to her. Now!”
The door opened from the inside.
Paige sat there, legs cross, with a perfectly shaped brow arched like she had been expecting Azzi’s reaction.
“Good morning, Princess,” she smirked.
Azzi climbed in with a scowl, “You didn’t say anything about a driver yesterday.”
“No, but I did say I was going to provide protection.” She turned to the front, “Take us home, Morgan.”
Azzi fastened her seatbelt and crossed her arms dramatically.
“Azzi, the first event is tonight. I meant to tell you last night, but it was a little late. I figured we could kill two birds with one stone. Moving you in and doing your first fitting.”
Azzi glared at the relaxed blonde. “Do we have time for anything I want? Like breakfast?”
“Oh, you’re hangry.” She smiled. Like an honest to God grin. Azzi almost melted. Paige looked to pure, not at all like the hard ass Azzi had been used to seeing.
“We have breakfast together on Saturdays. You can meet the rest of the family. You’ll be interacting at events, so you need to be comfortable with them.” She continued.
The brunette’s mood lifted at the promise of breakfast. She leaned her head back against the seat, the buildings passing in a blur. Of course, Paige owned a building in Downtown Chicago.
But when Morgan finally stopped, Azzi’s jaw dropped.
Paige owned the Aurelia.
Morgan got out and opened the door, giggling at Azzi’s gaping expression. Azzi slid out of the car, jumping slightly at the hand that gently landed on the small of her back.
Paige gently steered Azzi through the lobby. She didn’t speak to anyone, distracted by the fact that she could see her reflection in the glossy, black floors. They had a short trek to the elevator where she pressed her thumb into a seemingly random spot.
“Penthouse 8,” said a soft, robotic voice.
Azzi looked up startled, realizing her gaze had been dropped the entire walk through the lobby. In the mirrored elevator walls, she was able see Paige.
It dawned on her that she hadn’t really looked at Paige since she picked her up this morning. She wasn’t in a flawless suit, there was nothing flawless about her for once. Her gray sweatpants hung low on her hips, and she was swallowed by an old, navy UConn sweatshirt. Her blonde locks were left down, looking effortlessly soft and silky.
She looked soft, not strict. Comfortable, not controlled. Azzi found herself almost craving to see her like this more.
When the elevator doors opened, music filled the metal box. “How Far I’ll Go” was blaring through the surround sound system. Even louder than the music were deep belly laughs.
Azzi’s heart clenched, unable to remember the last time she laughed like that, the last time she could laugh like that. She was frozen in place, unable to move, or breathe, or think.
“You coming?” The sight of Paige’s small smirk snapped Azzi out of her mind.
Azzi was only able to catch glimpses as she followed Paige through the penthouse. There was a dining room that could house a dozen people and a perfectly styled living room, and both were surely untouched.
Though many surfaces were covered in flour, Paige had the kitchen of Azzi’s dreams. The dark sage cabinets brought the kitchen to life without being overpowering. They were beautifully balanced with the large oak island and marble countertops. There were six rust orange bar chairs. The brushed brass added warmth throughout the space. The large gray fridge was completely covered with Soleil’s creations. Handwriting sheets, princess coloring pages, learning activities alike. There were polaroid photos mixed in Soleil’s works. Azzi was able to see some more of the important people and stupidly wondered if she would ever grace the Bueckers Family Fridge. There was a dining nook off the end of the kitchen with floor to ceiling windows casting light over the large round table. It was big enough for six people, and Azzi could almost picture the room being filled with loud laughs, silly stories, and fantastic food like this morning.
Soleil stood with flour on her chest and a grin on her face. Next to her was a tall woman with curly, dark hair. Azzi wondered which aunt this was, KK or Ice.
Then came the squeal. “Mommy!”
Soleil came tearing across the hardwood floors in light blue pajamas, dark curls bouncing. “MS. FUDD!” She gasped, even louder than before.
Azzi had no time to brace herself as the ball of boundless energy buried her face in her legs.
“Good morning, Soleil.” She smiled calmly, a stark contrast to the girl’s energy. She brushed the curls out of her face, heart warming at the affection.
Paige cut their moment short, easily lifting Soleil to her shoulders. “Azzi’s joining us for breakfast today. And after that, Auntie Jana is going to get her a pretty dress for tonight’s dinner.”
Soleil gasped dramatically, turning to her teacher with wide eyes. “You’we coming with us? You can see all my pwetty dwesses!”
“Maybe after breakfast, Lai,” Paige said, gently putting her in a chair at the island. “Everybody’s kinda hungry.”
Azzi crouched by her chair, “I’ll be here all day, Pretty Girl. And guess what,” she lowered her voice like she was sharing her deepest secret, “I just moved into the building, so you’re gonna be seeing a lot more of me.”
Unbeknownst to Azzi, Paige stood in the doorway, watching the two brunettes giggling with each other. Her chest tightened before she turned away to message the other girls.
Paige walked back to the kitchen, locking her phone. When she looked up, she was stuck again. Lei was cuddled into Azzi’s lap, waiting calmly while the woman braided her hair.
“I think I need to hire you full time, she never sits still when I try,” Paige smirks.
“I thought you already did,” Azzi said, her voice soft, eyes flicking up to meet Paige’s just as Soleil interrupted with a dramatic, “But you tug, Mommy.”
Their eyes held for a second longer than necessary. Paige smiled, slow and quiet.
Paige stared at the duo until the elevator chimed loudly.
“Hey girly pops!” KK’s voice rings out, “It smells like syrup and rich people in here!”
A few seconds later, four women step into the kitchen. Azzi remembers Nika and Jana from Maison Noire and the talk one who was in the kitchen earlier, but the loudest one is a new face.
“Is that Azziiiii?” Jana sings excitedly.
Azzi chuckles, letting Soleil slide off her lap to greet her aunts. “It’s nice to see you again, Jana.”
“Auntie KK!” Soleil screams, running into the loud woman’s arms.
“Azzi, that’s KK and that’s Ice, and you remember Nika.” Jana beckoned the curly headed woman to her with a subtle tilt of her head. “Come on, I’ll give you the tour.”
The Bueckers’s home was unexpectedly intimate. It didn’t feel like wealth — it felt like warmth. Like being held. That was the only way Azzi could describe it. She had expected lots of silvers, grays, and sharp edges. The penthouse had light oak floors and warm cream walls. There was an underlying smell of vanilla and lavender in every room Azzi had been in. A space built for laughter and softness. She was happy to know that the almost sterile living and dining room were formal and ignored; the rooms the family actually used were deeper into the penthouse.
The living room was flooded with light from the massive windows. It had big, white, boucle couches that looked like they would be perfect to melt into. There were camel-colored sitting chairs that were butter soft. The accents reminded Azzi of a sunset, soft pinks, purples, oranges, and blues. Chunky knit blankets were piled in a basket, with another on the couch. There was a massive television mounted to an eye-catching slat wall. A sidebar was opened to display bins of playdoh, LEGOs, art supplies, and books. Soleil’s family portrait was framed, sitting proudly on the coffee table. As Azzi looked around, she saw more framed pieces that Soleil had made. A series of off-centered rainbows, unicorns, and butterflies were organized in a beautiful collage over the fireplace. The cabinet behind the couch had drawings of their family, each in a different color. The entire room seemed to be a shrine to praise Soleil.
Jana told funny stories for every room the visited. She was sweet and humble. “I appreciate everything you’re doing to help Paige. She does so much for everyone else, and she never asks for any help. She saved all of us, but no one has ever been able to save her.” She paused, “Even if this arrangement ends, you’re help one of us. You’ll always have a family with us.”
Tears welled in Azzi’s eyes. “You guys don’t even know me.” She sniffled.
“You went to bat for Soleil – that’s more than enough to make you family. Everything else you’re doing is just gravy.” Before Azzi could respond, her stomach let out the loudest growl. “Shit girl, I’m sorry. Let’s get you some food.”
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Soleil stayed cuddled up with Azzi the second she sat down at the table. The girl alternates between eating her French toast sticks and picking at the strawberry and kiwi slices on Azzi’s plate.
The girls made sure she was comfortable. KK and Ice made sure to bring her in on jokes, telling the background stories of all the inside jokes they went through at the table.
Azzi had learned that the women all went through an intense LEGO phase in college. They ate so much Tru Fru that someone had to go to the hospital. After that obsession waned a bit, the Crumbl one started, so intense that there were big arguments about it.
She enjoyed getting a feel for everyone’s personality. Nika spent most of the meal talking with Paige lowly, but she would interject here and there. She was blunt, which Azzi believed added to her charm. KK was loud, energetic, and magnetic. She lightened the mood whenever there was too long of a pause during conversation. She seemed to be the closet with Ice, but physically leaning on Paige several times during breakfast. Ice was warm, always making sure Azzi felt included in the conversation. She spoke with Soleil animatedly and gave a general air of openness. Jana was kind and welcoming. She asked questions and gave Azzi her attention when she answered. She was so smiley, like a mellower version of Soleil. She was realizing that Paige Bueckers is not cold at all. Sure, she had a façade, but that’s all it was. Paige had smiled more today than Azzi had ever seen her smile. It wasn’t for her, but she couldn't shake the warmth she felt each time their eyes met, like being caught in the sun a little too long.
When Soleil lifted a piece of sausage to Azzi’s face without looking, she could almost feel herself latching onto the little girl, to this makeshift family.
Azzi was at war with herself. On one hand, she knew that getting attached to them would lead to months of heartache. But she remembered what Jana had told her earlier; she was already family to them.
Azzi hoped, just for a second, that Jana was right, and that this would be a family she could keep.
269 notes · View notes
moonlight-records · 8 months ago
Text
Rich Boys Don't Have Hearts I LN4 (Pt. II)
pairing: Jock!Lando Norris x Nerd!Reader
summary: Formula Ivy Academy, or FIA for short, is the most renowned private in the world who takes such a select few. Usually those from wealth with status and secrets and so much to lose. Yet, you are selected to join the FIA on a full scholarship. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain scares a lot students, especially their star athlete who will do anything to protect those he cares about. Though, he didn't expect you to have as much of a...bite to you for a little nobody.
warning: jealous!lando. also possessive lando again, ig. bestie!charles, MESSY!FRANCO!!! god it becomes SO messy!!! franco is so smooth too. mention of make out. mention of eating out & fingering (f receiving). um idk after, kinda dying like ferrari's strategy by not having it beta read
fc: none!
a/n: since everyone is asking!!! here’s a new part!!! also once again, i opened a ko-fi! feel free to show extra love 💕
wc: 4.5K
part 1 | current | part 3 | part 4
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“Has Lando’s attitude gotten any better since last week?”
“No.”
“Ha! Well, surely he’s been a bit better at practices, no?”
“That, he has. I think it’s because Max snapped at him and the coach backed Max up. Though he still gives me dirty glares during practice when he’s not speaking to me.” Charles shrugs, “though I am unbothered. I wasn’t the one who tried to bribe someone out of this school for people who don’t actually truly like me. Still baffles me that he did that considering how half the school talks poorly about him behind his back. Some are not as subtle as others.”
“Well, everyone has their reasons. Maybe he was more so worried about his friends. Max, Oscar, you—”
“I don't know if I would qualify as a friend anymore.”
“I would consider you a friend if I was Lando,” you admit with a small smile, “friends fight. That’s just the nature of any relationship, romantic or not. I bet he’ll let it go and muster up some apology for being such a dick to you.”
“And you.”
You let out a bitter laugh, “Lando apologize to me? My dear friend, are you sure you don’t smoke anything? Because that sounds like straight delusion. Did you find the delusion at the store? If so, did you get extra because I would love some.” You remark.
“Y/N. I’m serious here.”
“So am I, Charlie. Lando is never going to apologize to me for the shit he tried to pull on me last week.” You lean forward in your seat while making a face at the thought of Lando actually apologizing to you, “Him apologizing means that he was wrong and him admitting that he’s wrong is like hell freezing over or God admitting he was wrong to cast Lucifer out of heaven or like a guy actually knowing where the clit is or—”
“Y/N!” Charles almost shrieks before shuffling closer and murmuring, “you cannot just say things like that! You know how they are about language—”
“Oh bite me.” You groan softly while looking at Charles unimpressed, “The FIA only made that rule because Max was stupid enough to curse at his advisor. Though Marko totally deserved it, if you ask me. Besides.” You take a chance to look on either side of you before looking back at Charles, “we’re the only two here so I doubt anybody heard me. If they did, I think a lot of the girls would be agreeing with my statement and if it was faculty, I will happily take my community service hours because I am not apologizing for telling the truth.” You lean back in your seat with a shrug.
You watch Charles open and close his mouth as he tries to think of something to say and him growing increasingly frustrated because he really had nothing to say besides ‘you’re right, y/n’. You giggle seeing Charles huff and lean back in his chair, grumbling that “ you have some fair points.” You just nod before looking back down at all your notebook. You take a moment before tipping your laptop screen back as you go back to rewriting your notes as silence falls over you and Charles.
“I’ll be right back.” You tear your gaze away from your laptop looking at Charles who is gently pushing his books and laptop back onto the table. “I promised Arthur I would help him with piano and I have to meet him in ten minutes. I’ll be back soon,” Charles is rapidly telling you as he grabs his coat, hastily walking away. You stare, mouth a bit open before just accepting your fate and turning back around. Whatever, it’s fine.
You start finding your groove again as you see just a flash of color across from you. Still, you didn’t even acknowledge the other as you continued to take these notes down. You take a few more minutes to get through the section and let out a sigh of relief. That was one out of four, anyway. Leaning back, you rub your eyes and decide you can take a five minute break. Dropping your hands, you expect to see Charles sitting across from you once again. Instead, someone else sat in Charles' seat.
The universe just loves to test your patience. It has barely been a week since the incident with Lando that you had swore you were done. No more curly hair, greenish eyes, stupid contagious smile, friendly heartthrobs in your life. It was so oddly specific that you were certain the universe would listen but instead the universe decided to test you if you were really done since you now have curly hair, hazel green eyes, stupidly friendly and contagious smile sitting right across from you who was watching you with a gentle smile.
“Franco?”
“Y/N. There you are.” Franco leans forward and puts his elbows on the table, “Leave it to you to find the coolest hidden spot in the library.” He leans over to look at your laptop and then sits back down. “Are you rewriting notes? Gross. I am very sure you have an uh…” he pauses, “photographic memory. That is the word. You already know the things, please put the notes down and have social interactions?”
“Oh why thank you for thinking I have a photographic memory but I do in fact study a lot.” You giggle and feel a blush creep onto your face at the compliment. “I am having social interaction. Am I not talking to you?” You raise a brow at him smiling. “I can talk to you while rewriting my notes, you know.”
“Yes but I do not want you to do that but that means I only have half your attention,” Franco complains as he gently closes your laptop screen shut and grabs your hands. You look at Franco and feel your face turn as red as the school’s hoodie while looking at the other, “and that just will not do.” Franco brings your hand to cup his cheek while looking at you, “you’re always taking notes and talking. I want one hundred percent of your time. Just this once, please?”
You were not the universe’s strongest warrior. The way that Franco looked at you with those wide eyes and small pout. You had found yourself letting your resolve melt quickly as you gently shut your laptop, elbow on the table while resting your cheek against your palm. “Yeah,” you find yourself saying while smiling dreamily at your fellow classmate, “I can do that.”
“Wonderful!” Franco praises as he leans back slightly. “Now, where were we last time we talked?” Franco thinks trying to recall, “I think we were talking about Hamilton—”
“And Toto,” you add on with a grin.
“Right, right,” Franco nods while glancing around before leaning in slightly. “I’m going fucking insane. They have Hamilton coming in as the guest designer for the fashion students this year and they moved the fashion kids into the arts building after that fire. Which means,” Franco grumbles, “I have the fortunate bad luck of seeing Lewis four times a week almost all day.”
“Why is that bad? He’s like your biggest celebrity crush.”
“That’s the thing!” Franco hisses, “He’s a celebrity crush. A crush that was never to see my existence or anything. Now instead of kilometers separating us, it’s just one floor! You think a man that is perfect should be looking at someone like me?” Franco looks at you, horrified, “Y/N. Please. I’ve never been so stressed over my looks before going to class. I don’t know how much longer my fragile heart can take seeing Lewis in all his glorious outfits with all those lovely rings…and tattoos…and stay sane.” Franco drops his head in defeat before looking back up at you. “Well, what about you? How’s your celebrity crush on Toto?”
You sigh and look away defeated. “Sadly, he is no longer a celebrity crush. He’s…” You cover your mouth as you take a moment. You close your eyes before taking a deep breath in and out. “Toto Wolff is…off the roster,” you whisper dramatically while looking at Franco. Franco gasps loudly, covering his mouth.
“What?! Say it ain’t so! Toto Wolff has been on the roster since the day we created the rosters,” Franco stares in disbelief, “What happened? What did he do that was so…dirty that you had to take him off the roster completely.
You stare at Franco before looking away, shaking your head slightly. “He did the one thing that I was terrified of. The only thing that would have me kick a man such as Toto Wolff off the damn roster…he became a full time professor here.” You finally admit, covering your mouth again in disbelief that your worst nightmare came true. You hear Franco gasp again and you nod, “I know. It’s such a sad day. We lost one of our strongest.”
“Here lies Toto Wolff. That man saw the rise of your beautifully curated roster. A moment of silence for our beloved.” Franco whispers as he sits there with you. You two glance at each other and you two break out into laughter. You both lean in, giggling while trying to hush the other so you two don’t get in trouble for being so loud. “Though seriously, he became a full time professor here? Good for him but that truly is a shame. We got new eye candy but at what cost?”
“I know! But hey, at least his teaching style is unique so at least I am very engaged which is really a good thing plus him looking as hot as he does since he’s a psychopath. Who the hell has classes at eight in the morning? I can’t even be happy that it’s once a week because it’s a three hour class that starts promptly at eight in the morning on Monday. Maybe it is a good thing Toto became a professor because this is too much.”
Franco’s been laughing silently the entire time, silently getting more dramatic as you spoke so he wouldn’t scream in the middle of the library. You watch him for a moment before laughing as well, grabbing onto his arms as the two of you laugh.
You two calm down and lean back as someone clears their throat. The two of you look up and your face falls to horror when cold stormy green eyes land on you. You shift uncomfortably as you become defensive. Shoulder a bit further back. Back a bit straighter. Chin a bit higher. You force a smile at the British student while trying to explode him with your mind.
“Y/N.” Lando remarks while looking down at you with pure raging dislike, “Funny seeing you here.”
“I could say the same for you.”
“Ha.” Lando looks at Franco and relaxes slightly. “Dude. Come on. I’ve been looking for you for the past ten minutes, we have to grab Oscar before meeting up with Max and Carlos soon. I really don’t need Carlos getting on me for being late.”
“Oh sorry. I just got so distracted.” Franco tells Lando and stands.
“What were you even doing? Speaking to Y/N?” You glare at Lando. Franco is way too sweet to be dragged into your bullshit with Lando before looking back at Franco. It seems that the Brit has a soft spot for your fellow freshman or something because Lando clears his throat before he keeps speaking, “I didn’t realize you two knew each other. Didn’t mean to sound so rude…sorry.”
Holy shit. Did hell finally freeze over? Maybe it’s pigs flying. Or he’s finally getting laid. It really doesn’t matter the reason why right now because you were still in disbelief that Lando apologized. You never thought you’d live to see the day where Lando apologized in general but apologizing because of the rude tone he had when speaking about you? Did you end up in the Twilight Zone? No no this must be a joke. Okay, cut the cameras. Seriously the cameras can STOP rolling.
“Oh of course I know Y/N! We’re in the same graduating class and we have a few gen eds together. It’s just hard given our schedules but,” Franco grins, “We make it work. Though! Before I leave I actually want to know if you’d be interested in grabbing lunch with me tomorrow” Franco announces as he looks at you, smiling, “could be a date if you want?”
Suddenly the world just freezes and you’re stuck at the library table staring in complete shock at the turn of the events. You hadn’t even told Franco about Lando, not having the heart for his poor heart to be crushed by how Lando could be so nasty. Still, you’re trying to figure out how the hell this conversation got onto the topic of Franco asking you out on a date.
In the heat of the moment, you can’t help but turn to look at Lando as if he heard Franco correctly. Maybe you’ve just fallen asleep and this is some weird dream or something. You come to the shocking yet unsuspecting realization that this is not a dream when Lando meets your gaze having the same idea. You both look back at Franco in a state of shock and confusion. “A date?” You and Lando ask in union.
“Yes.” Franco laughs and smiles widely at you and Lando before looking back at you, “well? Would you like to get lunch with me? As a date?”
“Yes.” You smile while nodding, “I would love to get lunch with you as a date.”
You stare at Franco with a stupid smile. You hadn’t expected this was how your evening would go but you were more than happy about it. You were so happy, that Lando’s look of shock turned to disgust didn’t even phase you. Finally, you’re crashing back to reality when Lando annoyingly clears his throat while looking down at the two of you. “Well, lovebirds,” Lando forces a smile but you can feel the burn his venomous words carry, “sorry to cut the moment short but we really have to leave now, Franco.” Lando manages through gritted teeth.
“Right! Sorry again.” Franco gathers his things and looks at you, “I’ll text you later. Bye Y/N,” Franco waves before Lando sends him off, telling him he’ll be right out.
You watch Franco go off and sigh dreamily. You glance away for a moment before doing a double take. Your smile morphs into a scowl while looking at Lando who—hasn’t moved yet. Looking him up and down, you raise a brow. “Can I help you?”
“Why did you say yes to Franco?”
“You really think you’re entitled to that after the shit you pulled last week?” You raise a brow while clicking your tongue, “besides. Why do you even care?”
“Because Franco’s a freshman and I don’t need him distracted,” Lando snaps and you roll your eyes. Here he goes again about distractions and shit. Lando glances away and huffs. “Also because he’s a bit of a player.”
“Takes one to know one, yeah?”
Lando glares at you and sneers slightly. “So what? I wouldn’t want him wasting any of his time on you.”
“Why?”
“You’d probably bore him to death.” Looking down at you as Lando gives it a beat. “Also I doubt you’d know how to get him off for your first time. Hell, I don’t think you’d know how to get anybody off. Not even yourself.” Giving you a condescending smile, “I would hate for him to be a part of your body count.”
“Oh.” You laugh slightly, “That’s adorable. Well. You know what? I think we got off on the wrong foot.”
Lando’s a bit taken aback. “I—what?”
“You know. I’ve been doing some thinking. I think we didn’t quite see eye-to-eye.” You continue as you pack your things. “Which isn’t really fair because you were truly just looking out for your friends. Like you’re doing right now.” Standing straight, “which I just wanna say is the sweetest thing ever so. I want to thank you and I’ve figured out the best way to do that.”
“…Which is…?” Lando leans in slightly, waiting for your answer.
“Which is…letting you know in great detail not only how good Franco’s gonna fuck me this weekend but you’ll also have to listen how Franco’s not going to want anybody else when I’m done with him.” You feign innocence to Lando as you sling your backpack over your shoulders before walking away.
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“Now, don’t you move a single muscle,” Franco kisses your forehead with a smile “You just focus on resting and I’ll handle everything for dinner tonight, okay?”
“Uh huh.”
“Good girl.” Franco winks before leaving your dorm. 
You lay in your bed staring where Franco had just left before rolling over, grunting as your legs failed to work with you. Fumbling around the messy sheets and pillows till you find your phone and immediately open the texts messages because you had to tell someone about the date you just had:
A MINX. HE’S A MINX I TELL YOU. - YN
WHO? WHAT? THE FUCK IS HAPPENING??? - CL
FRANCO. FRANCO IS NOTHING MORE THAN A MINX!!!!-YN
??????-CL
So Franco asked me out on a date for lunch today—YN
HE WHAT?! WHEN?-YN
Yesterday after you disappeared. He showed up and Lando came looking for him.-YN
LANDO? WHAT? Oh my god was he nasty to you? I’ll hurt him istg-CL
No. No he was…civil. Or civilish while Franco was around. But anyway, yeah Lando was asking like why Franco was talking to me cause we don’t really talk and like they had to go to Max’s place and Franco was like “oh we’re in the same graduating class” and stuff but before he left he was like “oh do you wanna get lunch with me tomorrow as a date?'“-YN
And I was gagged! I thought it heard it wrong so I looked at Lando who was LOOKING AT ME THE SAME WAY so we realize oh this is real. This is happening and Franco wants to grab lunch with me like a date. So I say yes, obviously.-YN
IN FRONT OF LANDO!?-CL
Yeah cause fuck him!!! If my happiness is his kryptonite to having a good day, then so fucking be it. But wait!! There’s more!-YN
TELL ME! TELL ME!-CL
So Lando hangs behind and Franco leaves. Then Lando looks at me all like “why’d you say yes?” Bitch what do you mean???-YN
Oh my god, he did not!!-CL
He totally did!!!-YN
Ew. Why does it have a jealous undertone?? possessiveness???-CL
It’s giving ‘you belong to me’ or like ‘nobody else can have you because I want you’ like some dark romance MMC. This is not a bully romance with a mafia subplot or some shit!!-YN
PREACH 👏👏👏. So what happened after?!-CL
Oh so I was like “i’m not telling you after the shit you pulled last week” and asking why he cares and he’s going on about how Franco’s a freshman and he can’t get distracted and how he’s a bit of a player, which he isn’t he’s just kind of a himbo, and I was like “oh takes one to know one, yeah?”-YN
YOU DID NOT. SHUT UP OH Y/N I LOVE YOU SO MUCH-CL
I did and that pissed Lando off. He starts going on about how I don’t know how to get anybody off and I’d bore Franco to death and how he would never want Franco a part of my body count. First off I got three bodies and I have pleased all three, thank you very much but also like fuck Lando!! His opinion? Doesn’t matter!! So I started bout how ‘oh we got off on the wrong foot’ and ‘you’re right’ to throw him for a loop before I told him I wanted to ‘thank him’ for ‘opening my eyes’ and his thank you is listening, in great detail, to Franco fuck me this entire weekend and then listening to Franco wanting nobody else 💋-YN
YNNNN!!! OH MY GOOOOOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! Ugh yes that’s some queen shit. Though how does that tie into Franco being a minx??-CL
BECAUSE. It’s Friday. He has no classes. Mine got canceled so I decided, oh why don’t we stay in today, right? soooo like, we go to the cafe, i get food (that Franco paid for) cause he’s not hungry right now which is whatever, and then we head back to my dorm. We’re watching tv, we’re talking, and I finish eating. It’s great, right??-YN
Yes, correct.-CL
So as I’m talking, I start talking about Lando. Franco’s apologizing, I’m telling him he shouldn’t be apologizing. He’s asking if he should stop hanging out with Lando and you know me. I’m not gonna police people on their friends so I told him no. As long as he holds Lando accountable, then I don’t care. If Franco wants to drop Lando that’s his own doing.-YN
Anyway, we keep talking and laughing. We’re getting closer. And then…you know-YN
…What happened? 👀👀-CL
We start kissing. Then it turns into a lazy makeout. Hands start wandering, nothing real scandalous ya know?-YN
Uh huh…-CL
Then this mf pulls away and is like “Oh, I’m real hungry”-YN
FRANCO!!! WTFF!!!!-CL
OH WAIT!! Cause that’s what I thought. I was like “Oh really? Like now? I mean I guess we can go back to the cafe.” Meanwhile he’s actively getting off the bed. Then Franco pulls me by my ankles to the edge of the bed. so i'm thinking he’s really hungry so I go to sit up and he pushes me back down talking bout some “where’re you going mami?”-YN
SIR?? EXCUSE ME??? I can hear the accent now, oh my god that’s—wow-CL
OH BUT WAIT. THERE’S MORE!!!-YN
So first, don’t be calling me mami unless you plan on making me an actual mom. Second, I’m looking at him confused like “you said you were hungry” and he’s like “yeah?” and I was like “Oh I’m sorry, I just thought you’d want me to join you going to the cafe to get lunch” and he’s looking at me like I got ten heads before going like “the cafe? Why would we go to the cafe?” He’s actively like leaning over me while holding my thighs and slowly pushing them opening talking bout “I don’t need the cafe when I got a full five meal course right here sprawled out in front of me.”-YN
FRANCO!?! OH MY GOD—I have to fan myself. Wow that was—🥵🥵🥵🥵-CL
RIGHT?!?!-YN
WELL??-CL
…Charles when I tell you. I do not believe in god but I am pretty sure I was knocking on his door. Two hours. I was seeing god for TWO HOURS!!! Charles when I tell you that man had me screaming crying throwing up I MEAN IT. Charles, I'm still in bed. My legs are still shaking. I can’t feel them.-YN
What I wouldn’t give to be sucked off like that—CL
But wait. There’s a cherry on top of all of this.-YN
WHAT COULD TOP THIS?-CL
Franco really had to make sure everyone knew what was happening. I mean, he’s on his knee with my hips hanging off. He’s got one hand gripping my ass like it’s his lifeline to this world. He’s between my thighs and eating me out like he is a man up next on death row and I am his final fucking meal. He pushed all the pillows away. Got my wrists pinned to my stomach with his other hand. I am solely at his mercy and I cannot keep quiet for the life of me and he ate it up. I was so loud, I heard banging from upstairs.-YN
Banging?-CL
Yeah. Like someone was hitting a broom against the floor. To signal to shut up, which Franco and I ignored. More Franco than me, I couldn’t see straight and that was an hour in. Do you know, what the banging was though???-YN
A disgruntled upstairs neighbor???-CL
Yeah. Do you remember who my upstairs neighbor is?-YN
…OH MY FUCKING GOD, LANDO LISTENED TO YOU GETTING THE BEST HEAD OF YOUR LIFE?-CL
Yes SIIIIIIIIRRRRRR. Dude Lando got so mad he CALLED Franco in the middle of it and he answered.-YN
HE ANSWERED?!-CL
Yes. He answered. Pulls back enough to start fingering me and hands be a pillow telling me to bite down on it which I do without a second fucking thought. But tell me why Franco put Lando on speaker and Lando asking “what are you doing right now??” and Franco looks me dead in the fucking eyes going on bout “Oh I’m just having lunch right now with Y/N.” and Lando’s like “oh yeah? Is that so? Then why the fuck is she screaming so god damn loud? Huh? Thought it was a lunch date?” and Charles. I shit you the fuck NOT, Franco without missing a beat goes, “It is. She’s my lunch and my mother always told me to finish everything on my plate and I plan to do just that.” THEN HUNG UP THE PHONE AND WENT RIGHT BACK TO EATING ME OUT.-YN
Y/N…you are the luckiest bitch around. Holy fucking shit. I need a man like Franco—do we know if Franco swings both ways??-CL
He does. Though you might not like him. He’s got a huge crush on Lewis—YN
Never mind. You keep Franco. Gives me an easier chance to steal Lewis' heart. Or just get one chance with him.-CL
I think you can do it. I believe. Anyway, yeah so that happened and—YN
You accidentally send your message to Charles early when a new text comes through. It’s by an unknown number and you click on it.
Lacrosse field. 8pm. We need to talk.-Unk
You think for a moment trying to figure out who this could be. No names come to your mind so you think that someone texted the wrong number. Typically, you’d leave unknown numbers alone but you got the impression that this was something important and urgent that you respond.
Oh I’m sorry, you have the wrong number-YN
I don’t-Unk
Excuse me?-YN
You look up hearing the familiar broom hitting against the floor. You scowl at Lando and his antics before looking back at your phone. Huh. That was…too coincidental. You lay there for a moment before the banging came again, this time a bit more urgent. You send your message before realizing it.
Lando?-YN
The banging stops. Suddenly, your dorm is eerily quiet and you hold your breath. You watch the familiar three bubbles appear and disappear before appearing again as your heart sinks.
Bingo. 8pm. Tonight. Lacrosse field. Alone.-LN
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mylovesstuffs · 2 months ago
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OT13 reconciliation after accusing them
Request: OT13 reacting to their s/o wrongly accusing them reacting to their s/o wrongly accusing them was soooooo good...Authorrrrr, if possible a spin off where they reconcile plssss💝
A/N: Ah tysm for letting me think about them a little more bahah, I'm glad that part interested you to see more of what happened afterwards. Also, this was written while my friend was cutting onions and my eyes were extremely wet and I couldn't see at all.
Seungcheol: He lets you cry in front of him, his arms still crossed. “I didn’t need an apology,” he says, looking down at you. “I needed you to trust me.” But when you say that you want to start over with trust this time, he nods slowly, thinking about it. The relationship needs to be worked on but for now, he pulls you into his arms. “Let’s go on that trip.”
Jeonghan: You leave small gifts, texts, a hand-written note with “I never should’ve doubted you”. When he finally meets you again after a week(s), his eyes are unreadable to you. You don't know if it's the end of the relationship, or that he's here to pick and point at every little thing you misunderstood about him. Questioning his loyalty is definitely something. The first thing he said, “You still think I’m capable of that?” This time you stay silent, your lips trembling and when you tearfully whisper, “No. I just got scared,” he exhales and hugs you tightly. “You better not forget next time.”
Joshua: He plays your voice memo again and again, gaining the right mental state to face you directly. He felt bad for raising his voice at you, he's better than that. But you mistaking calmness for indifference really hurt him especially since he cares about you sm. When you finally meet in person, you both end up crying. “I never wanted to raise my voice,” he says, wiping your tears. “Im sorry for misunderstanding you... I just... needed you to hear me.” You wrap your arms around him tightly, nodding. “This time… I’ll listen better,” he says cradling your wet cheek.
Jun: When he sees you in front of his door, holding the lunch he never gave you, he says, “why now?” looking straight into your eyes but it's not warm anymore but replaced with ice. You whisper, “Because I forgot how much you love me.” He doesn't say anything, except for looking at you, maybe trying to read and understand how much you mean this right now because last time, you meant every word of the accusation. He recalls himself feeling like the villain and still waiting for you alone, not knowing where you are or when you will be back. He finally steps forward, rests his forehead against yours, and says, “Don’t walk away again. I’ll forgive you, but don’t do that again.”
Hoshi: You waited just like he asked. You waited for him for weeks and gave him the space he needed. You love him and you know he loves you back, but you did wound his hurt with that accusation when all he ever thought about was only you. So, when you hand him the same letter he once wrote—this time written by you, he reads it and you find his eyes tearing up. “I didn’t think you’d really wait,” he says. You take his hand. “I would’ve waited forever for you, like you'd for me.” You both spend some time in silence as he just stares, you add, “Im sorry,” and he presses a kiss to your forehead.
Wonwoo: You left notes, apologies folded between the pages of the books. One day after days of silence, he texts: “Come over.” You find him holding the book you gave him, your note tucked inside. “I still want forever,” you whisper. He looks at you, long and takes a deep breath. “Then let’s start again.” It'll now take again to build what you two had, not that his trust and dream was broken but he wants to make sure, you have trust in him and dream about him, too. It's just sentiments coming out of you, so things need to be sorted out and start over. Things have never been about him in the relationship; always you—because that's what he wants. You are his dream and forever person as long as you reciprocate.
Woozi: You didn't find him at his place last time, but you did see him around a couple of times but never alone. Guilt was eating you out for not being able to talk and knowing that he actually protected you. You find him at the studio, headphones on, but he sees you instantly. “Did you bring more accusations?” he asks coldly. “No,” you whisper. “Just the truth. I love you, and I’m sorry.” He sighs, pulls off his headphones, and after a beat, says softly, “I just didn’t want you hurt. That’s all I ever wanted.”
Dokyeom: Dokyeom never in his life thought you'll actually misunderstand that. How could you? The only person he ever had his eyes on was you and that was obvious to everyone even for 17 miles away. You knock, voice trembling. “I didn’t mean it.” He finally opens the door, tear streaks still on his face. “Then say what you did mean.” You cup his face. “That you’re the kindest, most loving person I’ve ever met. And I hate myself for hurting you.” He pulls you in. “Please don’t do that again.”
Mingyu: [not really much to say since they reconciled in the first part]. He says while hugging you, “I felt like I wasn’t good enough. And then you made me believe it.” You hug him tighter, crying. “You’re more than enough. You’re everything.” He sighs, kissing your head. “Then make me believe it this time.”
Minghao: He shows up holding your Mandarin letter, “you tried. I see that.” You look up at him, afraid. “Did I lose you?” You expect a, ‘yes,’ from because what else could you look for? You proved that you don't know him, that you made him feel like he had to change himself for you. So he hesitates. “No. But I need you to accept who I am, not who you want me to be.” He doesn't want to sugarcoat. If a relationship has to be healthy, it needs to be honest too. You nod, tearful. “I’m learning. Please don’t leave while I do.” “Never,” is his response as he opens his arms.
Seungkwan: Seungkwan repeated your stinging words every night, praying that it was all a bad dream and that you actually didn't say something so hurtful to him, but it all came crashing down because it was reality. You wait outside his place, holding his journal close to your heart. When he sees you, you hold it out like an offering. “You try so hard, and I didn’t see it. But I do now.” He stares at you, torn. “Do you really?” “Yes. Please let me try for you now.” He finally nods. “Then don’t stop.” “Never will... I'm sorry. I love you.”
Vernon: You show up, breathless. “I saw your message. I’m here.” He looks at you, unsure. “Why should I believe you won’t do that again?” You grab his hand. “Because I learned I can’t love you properly if I don’t trust you. And I don’t want to love you wrong ever again.” He squeezes your hand back, hesitantly. Vernon wants to forgive you, but he’s still hurting. You accused him of cheating based on something superficial [that earring], without giving him the benefit of the doubt. That shook his sense of trust and made him question if you truly saw him for who he is: loyal, and private, he is still reaching back because he loves you. That’s him giving you a chance, even tho he's scared of being hurt again.
Dino: [He kinda reconciled in the first part but he told her to prove, so continuing from there.] You step closer. “Okay,” you say. “I’ll wait until you’re ready to talk. I’ll support you without asking for anything. I’ll stop belittling your feelings, you’ve always been more mature than I gave you credit for.” He doesn’t say anything, so you don’t push. For the next few days, you don’t beg or over-apologize; you just show up consistently, the way he always did for you. One night, after practice, he finds you still sitting in the hallway outside the studio. He sighs, then sits beside you. “Tgank you” You shook your head. “Because you matter, and I was wrong.” He then says softly, “I wanted you to believe in me. Like I believe in us.” You turn your head toward him. “I do now.” Now when he reaches out to hold your hand, there’s no hesitation.
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scientia-rex · 1 year ago
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I made that post about how smoking is bad—actually, no, I’ve made two relatively popular posts about how smoking is bad for you. Raises your chances of dying from multiple factors including heart disease and stroke in addition to lung (and mouth, throat, and bladder) cancer.
I am always so baffled by the responses going “well I could die from something else!” Yes. You could. Statistically speaking, you will most likely die of heart disease, stroke, or cancer, if you live in the US. Your average life expectancy is somewhere around 78 for women, 76 for men. Many people die younger than that, for a lot of reasons. Many of my patients have illnesses that will shorten their lives. I hate to split it into “fault,” as if there’s some kind of perfect way to live a blameless life. (There isn’t.) The numbers, however, are both clear and pitiless. People who smoke are more likely to die younger than they otherwise might have.
Medicine is a numbers game. My job is not to psychically predict exactly what will punch your ticket and when. It is to improve your odds. I want you to both live as long a life as possible but also as high-quality a life as possible. I want for you to live a life you enjoy.
It’s that simple; it’s not sinister. I’m not out here going “I’ll tell them not to smoke so they can have LESS FUN before getting hit by a bus at 30!”
Because smoking isn’t actually fun. What it is, is a very quick (and faster = more addictive) reduction in physical feedback systems that heighten anxiety. Withdrawal of an unpleasant stimulus is rewarding. (Technically, it’s a negative reward; the negative doesn’t refer to a moral judgment, but the addition or subtraction of a stimulus.) Something that is very rewarding very fast will be very addictive. It’s why crack cocaine is also so addictive—it is also a very fast and very potent reward. It’s also why benzodiazepines like Xanax are so addictive to so many people; it’s a slower peak blood level but the removal of severe anxiety is profoundly rewarding.
So smoking can make you feel better when you do it. But your body will try to fix any broken signals. It doesn’t just want to be able to signal to you when you need to feel stressed: it has to be able to signal you, or your long-ago ancestors would have been eaten by predators. So it ramps up the signaling. Now you’re not smoking because you feel better than baseline; you’re smoking to get back to baseline.
That’s why quitting sucks. When you quit smoking, all of the sudden your body’s signals of stress that got dialed up to 11 to overcome the nicotine are just out there at full blast, making you feel scared and jittery and irritable. It’s why when you quit benzos (or daily alcohol) cold turkey you can get life-threatening seizures. It’s why when you stop alcohol you’re likely to have sleep disruptions that can persist for weeks to months.
That’s why things that help reduce the suckage can help. Nicotine patches, lozenges, or gum. Chantix. Wellbutrin. Slowly stepping down the nicotine level on your vape. Eating more, eating things you like. (I would 1000% rather have a patient be fat than be smoking. I know other people will be shittier to you if you gain weight. Living is worth it.) Being kind to yourself helps you quit smoking. You need to recognize that “quitting smoking you” is not your baseline you. It is you with an invisible illness that will take weeks to months to get over.
And sometimes you can’t face that hump right now. But if you want to maximize your odds of the longest and healthiest possible life, knowing that any number of terrible things can happen to you at any time, making the effort—over and over again, if you need to—is the best shot you have.
There are a couple of conditions where smoking does markedly reduce symptoms. The well-known ones are schizophrenia and Crohn’s disease. If you feel not just better, but better like this is a medication for you, like you poop blood or hear things without it, talk to your primary care provider, because there are other medicines that might be safer and/or more effective for you. The landscape around pharmaceutical research has shifted dramatically over the last 30 years. We have more options than we’ve ever had before. Maybe this doesn’t have to be the expensive, dangerous medication that half-works for you. And if what you’re self-medicating is your anxiety, nicotine is a pretty crappy medication for that, because it doesn’t fix you; it changes your baseline to an even shittier place.
You have bodily autonomy. You can make your own choices. I will never go to a patient’s house and slap the cigarette out of their hand. But if what you want is the longest and healthiest possible life, smoking makes your odds worse.
The number of people who think that I, as a doctor, would be unaware of how profoundly unfair bodily health can be amazes me. It’s like the first Father Brown story, where Father Brown is explaining to the villain that someone whose main job is to hear about all of the terrible sins people have to confess cannot remain naive. My job is watching people age, or filling out their death certificates. One or the other. I prefer watching them age, but everyone will die. Someday my doctor will be filling out my death certificate. I’ve removed one potential contributing factor from that line—maybe I’ll get diabetes, maybe I’ll get cancer, maybe I’ll have a workplace accident, but “smoking” isn’t going to be on that line anymore. That’s the best I can do. I can’t psychically predict my own death, either; just play the numbers, try to do my best, and hope.
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formulakracing · 1 year ago
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vi. morning confessional - t.w.
pairing: female driver! x toto wolff
word count: 2.5k
warnings: i typed this entire chapter on my phone while i was at work, so if there are any spelling errors, oopsies! cursing, age gaps, power imbalances, yearning, tons of yearning, oral (f! receiving), mentions of sex, teasing, slight praise kink, slight size kink, yadayadayada
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rays of sunlight filter through the curtains, causing you to stir. scrunching your nose, a yawn takes hold. at the action, his arms instinctively pull you in closer, smothering your face in his chest.
“good morning.”
“good morning beautiful girl,” his voice is thick with sleep, and oh so sexy, “how did you sleep?”
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
“better than usual.”
“me too,” soft lips connect with your temple, “what time is it?”
yawning once more, you roll over, plucking your phone off the nightstand.
“8:38 a.m.”
“shit.”
“somewhere to be?”
“yes,” the team principal groans, rubbing his eyes, “unfortunately i am running very late for it. i’ll just let my assistant know i can’t make it.”
“oops,” you shrug, collapsing back into his arms, “why can’t you just stay every night?”
“you know why, schatzi,” he murmurs, squeezing you, “this is going to be a long two weeks.”
“awww,” you tease, ruffling his hair, “is someone going to miss me?”
“you have no idea.”
“we’ll be in japan. that will surely be exciting,” you begin to run your hand through his hair, melting as his lashes flutter.
“and you know what comes after japan.”
“miami,” you suck in a breath, “that still gives me some time to consider everything.”
“just don’t overthink it,” one eye opens, “if you overdo it, you’ll start to reconsider every little thing.”
“i know,” you exhale, “it’s just overwhelming. i don’t like disappointing people either.”
“oh i know,” toto leans in, the tip of his nose brushing yours, “you tend to put on this facade that you’re selfish, doing things only for your gain. however, i have learned that deep down, you’re a huge people pleaser. that’s why you’ve been dragging your feet in giving me your answer. you don’t want hurt james. you don’t want to disappoint the team. most of all, you don’t want to face the backlash that will follow.”
your lower lip trembles, tears welling up in your eyes. they threaten to spill over, and his brows furrow, “oh schatzi, i didn’t mean to hurt your—“
“no,” you sniffle, “i just hate that you’re right.”
“you don’t have to spend your life pleasing others, you know,” his arms engulf you in an embrace, rubbing circles on your back as you weep into his chest, “you’re allowed to make decisions for yourself. you need to do what you feel is best.”
“but there’s just one thing that i can’t shake,” the words are barely coherent, but he hears them anyway.
“and that is?” he inquires, kneading into your shoulder blades.
“i want to be with you at mercedes. i’m just scared that if something happens between us, i’ll regret my decision.”
“us?”
your eyes snap open, panic settling in, “i-i, um, i — i didn’t mean anything by that, i just—“
“you want an us?” fingers grasp your chin, tilting your head to meet his gaze.
“i-i mean,” your voice falters, “isn’t it inevitably going to happen if we keep seeing one another? one of us is going to develop feelings and we’re going to—“
lips crash into yours, nearly knocking the wind out of your lungs. it’s a passionate kiss, needy and brimmed with hunger. fingers tangle in your hair, tugging at the roots as you whimper, his tongue licking along your lower lip. he sucks on it, the hand on your back delving lower and lower, gripping the curve of your ass.
a noise rumbles in the base of this throat as you suck on his tongue, the kisses growing sloppier and messier by the second. the noise is guttural, almost like a growl.
he pulls away momentarily, panting slightly, “who is to say that the feelings aren’t already there?”
“toto you don’t—“
“i do,” shifting his weight, he pins you to the bed, “like i said, i didn’t have a crush. i can’t stop thinking about you. every single time i think about racing, or my drivers, or even mercedes in general, my thoughts wander to you.”
as he takes you in, you can’t help but gaze into his eyes, your hand reaching out. fingers brush his cheek tenderly, tracing the lines that scoured his face. his lashes flutter at your touch, his chest heaving as your fingertips wander, memorizing every minuscule detail.
your fingertips land on his lips, “i just need to know one thing.”
“what is it, love?”
“this offer, signing me as a driver to mercedes. is it business or is it personal?” preparing for the worst, you feel yourself instinctively shy away.
yet, he isn’t fazed, maintaining eye contact, “do you want my honest answer?”
“of course i do.”
“personal. completely personal,” there’s a glint in his mocha depths, an emotion you couldn’t quite read.
“ever since i saw that photo of you, signing that contract with williams, i knew i wouldn’t be able to resist you. i tried, i really tried to maintain my distance. to stay away. but i can’t. there’s something about you that draws me in. i don’t quite know what, but i know that i need you by my side. at mercedes, where i can make you a world champion. my world champion. i would make my golden girl a world champion.”
“toto,” you begin, but he continues, pressing a finger to your mouth.
“yes, it would be good for mercedes to sign on a driver with your talent. our reputation would benefit. you have the qualities of a mercedes driver. but this isn’t about business. this is personal. it always has been. it always will be.”
“i-i,” you stutter, the temperature of the room elevated as toto’s mouth inches closer and closer to yours, “i don’t know—“
“you don’t have to say anything right now,” his voice is low and thready, consumed with desire, “i know it’s a lot. there’s a lot to consider and a lot at stake. but for now, just focus on me. can you do that for me baby?”
nodding meekly, anticipation takes a hold as he lowers his head, mouth connecting with your heated skin. the kisses travel further and further down, his hands finding yours, intertwining your fingers together.
“so beautiful,” he whispers, “so, so, so breathtaking.”
“so are you—“
a moan fills the space as his mouth envelops your clit through your panties. he groans at your reaction, knuckles turning white as you squirm, gripping your hands tightly.
“take them off, please.”
“so you do beg,” he taunts, his breath hot as it fans against your inner thighs, “what do you need again, schatzi?”
“i need you,” you whimper, dripping with desire, “i need you, toto wolff.”
“i’ll take care of you baby,” his pupils are dilated, blush tinging his cheeks, “just relax, and let me take care of you.”
at the sight of you beneath him, aching for his touch, toto nearly unravels.
was he dreaming? or was this heaven?
god, you were so fucking beautiful like this. all needy and desperate. between your thighs, he couldn’t help but notice the wet spot pooling in your panties. goosebumps riddled your arms and legs, yet your skin was so soft and warm.
you were practically inviting him in.
and how could he resist?
“is this okay?” the team principal tugs on the hem of your panties.
“yes,” the corners of his lips curl into a smirk at your quick response, “please, toto.”
dragging the fabric down your legs, he relishes how they glow in the morning light.
every part of you was so beautiful. every. single. part.
“open your legs,” strong hands grasp your thighs, the command sending a shiver down your spine, “i need to see that perfect pussy.”
you can’t help but obey, shielding your face instinctively as he situates himself, mouth merely centimeters from your drenched pussy.
if your body was an altar, toto was prepared to worship, savoring and praising every inch of you until there was nothing left.
“don’t hide,” he tuts, “i want you to watch.”
“but—“
a hand, your hand, covers your mouth as his tongue delves between your folds, your back arching. fingertips dig into your hips, holding you in place.
toto was a starving man. and fuck, did you taste so fucking good.
he couldn’t get enough, the tip of his nose brushing against your clit as his tongue explores every inch of you. his tongue applies pressure to your clit as he sucks lightly, swirling in circles as you buck your hips.
“oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.”
toto didn’t have to ask if you were close. he could sense it, the way your muscles were beginning to tense up. the way your hips rocked back and forth, practically riding his tongue. the way your voice was growing louder and louder, yearning for more and more.
already this close and he had barely even started?
fuck, was he going to have fun with you.
“toto,” there it was again, his name from your lips, “toto, i’m going to — you’re going to make me cum.”
“you deserve it,” he pulls away, mouth and chin glistening, “you deserve it baby. cum for me. be a good girl and cum for me.”
the words coax you to the edge, and you feel a finger wedge its way into your tight hole, your walls stretch, adjusting to the size of his finger. just as you get used to one, he shoves another inside, pumping them in and out, curling once they’re inside.
the euphoria crashes over you like a tidal wave as his mouth plants kisses over your clit, practically making out with your pussy. you feel your walls close in, the pleasure wound up tightly in your lower abdomen.
“toto,” you’re almost breathless, “i-i’m going to cum.”
moans flood toto’s ears as you orgasm, your thighs squeezing against his ears. your muscles twitch and shudder, juices dribbling down his chin.
pressing one last kiss to your pussy, he catches his breath, wiping his chin.
before you know it, two fingers are pressed against your lips, “taste yourself.”
opening wide, your tongue dances along the digits, licking them clean. toto watches in awe, a fiery hunger burning within.
it took every fiber of his being not to just spread you open again, filling you up, claiming you.
claiming what was rightfully his.
“oh my god,” you exhale, scrambling to muster a single coherent thought, “that was—“
“you’ll get more.”
your back meets with the mattress once again, hands on your head, “holy shit.”
“never had a man make you cum like that before?” you want to slap the smug smirk off his face.
but you stop yourself, feeling a frown form as he plucks his clothes off of the floor, shoving his legs into his slacks.
“leaving so soon?”
“i have to go,” relief ripples from your head to your toes as you sense his disappointment. he was just as upset to go, “i want to stay baby, but i have about sixty-two missed calls and seventy texts. they’re wondering where i am and i need to get going.”
“that’s all right,” reaching for own phone, you wonder if you were in a similar predicament.
you couldn’t quite remember, but you were sure you had missed a few meetings. one of them was more than likely with the press. one was probably a team meeting before the next destination.
“what’s going to be your excuse?”
toto pauses momentarily, leaning over to give you a swift peck, “the answer is simple. they won’t get one. they don’t need to know where i was.”
“someone’s grumpy,” you giggle as you notice the prominent frown.
“yeah i am.”
“and why’s that?” you arch a brow.
“because i want to fuck the shit out of you,” the casual delivery has you reeling, your heart fluttering as he shoves his arms into his dress shirt.
“i want to watch you cum again and again and again. but i can’t. i have to go about my day as if i didn’t just taste pure ambrosia on my tongue. i have to sit there and answer phone calls, emails, my team, and act like nothing ever happened.”
“is it hard for you?”
“of course it’s hard,” toto runs a hand through his hair, and you pick out the tightness of his jaw as he speaks, “i want to tell someone. i want to tell someone how the most beautiful woman in the world has me wrapped around her finger. how i’m putty in her hands. but i can’t.”
“toto, i—“
“i hate to interrupt you,” he crosses over to the bed once again, scooping you up in his embrace, “but i really have to go. i’ll text you, okay? maybe we can rendezvous at some point in these next few weeks. i’ll fly you out. you wouldn’t have to pay a single penny.”
“okay,” you nod, inhaling his scent one last time, attempting to memorize the way his arms feel around your frame. it was far too quick, toto pulling away, tousling your hair.
“be a good girl for me. i’ll see you soon.”
“i’ll see you soon, toto.”
and just like that, he was gone.
biting your lip, you curl up on the mattress, throwing the comforter over your body.
you shouldn’t cry. not over this.
but why did you feel that urge? why was it becoming increasingly more difficult to focus on anything other than the team principal?
yeah, you had a crush on him. that was years ago, when you were a teenager. that was innocent, a young girl swooning over a man nearly three times her age.
now, that crush was developing into something much more. something far more complex that you could have ever imagined.
you were falling head over heels for toto wolff, whether you liked it or not.
and you couldn’t fight it, no matter how hard you tried to push those feelings away. you had tried to seal them away in a box, throwing out the key.
somehow toto had found that damn key.
he was the key, really.
and who knew what would happen if you opened the lid to that box.
however, there were far more pressing matters.
picking up your phone, you scroll through your messages, notifications, and emails.
there was nothing too crazy you missed, just a quick debrief before you all left for home for the next week or so.
although, one particular text caught your eye.
it was james, sent about fifteen minutes ago.
good morning, american girl! i’m not sure if you’re aware, but the fia has made their decision concerning your tussle with george. it’s not good, but it’s not bad either. i figured you were probably not feeling up to the team meeting since you got pretty banged up from the crash. get some rest, then give me a call when you can.
also, is there a reason why toto wolff approached me yesterday? he was asking about your contract. do you have any idea what that was about?
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
taglist: @toldyouitwasamelodrama @nebarious @whoisss @kravitzwhore @prettiest-at-the-party @persona1lies @zoeyjadetice2010
let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist! thank you for reading! <3
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fujoshirat · 3 months ago
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I am absolutely INLOVE with how you write Shouto! It suits him so well that he has a big family 😭🤧
There is something I am curious about. How do you think would he be as a new dad? Especially when he found out he was having twins for the first time.. could you write a fic/scenario about this? and would he gain more confidence with his dad skills as time goes by? Thanks for reading this req 😇🫶
Aww! I’m so glad that you enjoy my writing and headcanons!! Tysm as well for asking, if you couldn’t tell, I LOVE writing about domestic Shouto </3
Also sorry that I couldn't respond immediately! I wanted to make sure that I answered all that you asked in the request ><
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“I’m pregnant.”
The moment you uttered those two words, Shouto’s jaw dropped. It closed a few seconds later, then opened, then closed. If not for the tense, life-changing situation, you would have laughed.
But this was not a joke.
After almost 5 minutes without a response from your husband, you sigh and turn around, ready to retreat to bed to cry. However, as you turn around, a strong arm grabs your waist and pulls you to him. The young hero buries his face in your lower back, breath shaky.
“Shou?” Your voice came out quieter than you wanted, but you were nervous too. Before you could continue, he began to speak.
“Y-You’re pregnant?”
Swallowing hard, you nod and turn to face him. Your hands gingerly cup his face, feeling the smoothness of his cheeks. “Yes, Shou,” you say breathily. “I’m pregnant.”
And with that affirmation, Shouto nodded wordlessly, stood up, and hugged you. Through the silence, you could feel your shoulder getting damp, and that was all you needed to feel to know how he felt.
I’m scared, but I’m here for you and our child.
A very Shouto Himura Todoroki response, perhaps too nonchalant or emotionless for other women, but this was your man, your husband, your love.
The second time Shouto had a very Shouto response was a week later. Laying on the flimsy parchment paper of the private room of the clinic, you anxiously squeezed your husband’s hand. The doctor was so gentle and sweet, a smile on her face as she did the ultrasound.
“Ah, there we go! Now, as you can see, Todoroki-san, there is a little head right here and-oh! I see another one~!” The young doctor turns to Shouto and smiles. “Congratulations, Todoroki-san, your wife is having twins!”
Right as those words tumbled out of the doctor’s mouth, your husband’s eyes widened and his fingers almost slipped through your grasp. You gasped, clutching his hand, earning a worried look from the doctor. “T-Todoroki-san!?!”
Ah yes, your husband, the one that will NOT be giving birth, almost fainted after hearing the fact that you were carrying twins—no, his twins.
Twins? Twins!?! He hasn’t even had experience with one kid yet, and now she’s telling him that there's two?!?
Another very Shouto Himura Todoroki response, a little worrying but hey, your man is okay and here to support you, no matter what.
It has been almost 4 weeks since you left the hospital, and Shouto feels like this is the hardest exam yet.
Your husband being on paternity leave is a huge help, but sometimes it feels like even your husband needs babysitting.
Right now is one such moment.
It was peacful a few minutes ago, you swore. You put the twins down on his lap before going to the bathroom, so why was there suddenly a ringing, crying noise from downstairs? You groan internally, exhausted and clearly needing an extra 12 hours of sleep, and you descend down the stairs. “Shouto? Is everything alright?” Following the sound of the wailing, you enter the living room and see him awkwardly trying to soothe the crying infants.
“What happened?!” You have to half-shout just to make him hear you.
“I-I don’t know, angel! I tried feeding Aki the bottle and-!” Oh bless this man’s kind heart, but he did not know ANYTHING about carrying for babies. Sighing, you take both Aki and Haru in your arms and shush them by putting their pacifiers back in their mouths. Like magic, their harmonious crying stopped, replaced by the sound of soft sucking. You chuckle at the twins before looking up at your husband, a shy, disappointed look on his face.
“Sit down, Shouto.”
He nods and sits down, watching you sit down next to him. “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, love—I don’t even know what I’m doing!” You sigh and smile softly.
“Hey, it’s alright. We’re new to this and we’re still figuring this out.”
“I know… but I feel like I’m doing everything wrong. You’re so good at this, and I’m not.”
You frown at his words and reach out to hold his hand.
“Hey, don’t say that. You’re doing amazing and the damn-best job ever for a first-time father! And I’m flattered that you think I’m so good at this, but even I mess up too!” The way that your husband sulks is too cute, and a soft laugh escapes your lips.
“As we continue navigating parenthood, we’ll get even better, okay? But don’t beat yourself up about this baby. You’re doing your best, and that is all I can ask for.”
Shouto nods slowly, still unsure about everything, but he understands where you are coming from. He can’t be perfect the first time, but he’ll continue doing his damn best for his family.
And pro hero Shouto Todoroki never does a half-assed job.
Parenthood and the 9 months of your pregnancies are a rollercoaster, but it is Shouto’s favorite job.
He’s definitely gotten more comfortable with the twins and definitely knows better about babies. There are so many ups and downs to being a pro-hero parent, but he’s ready to accept every day with an open heart. He still uses what he learned at U.A. and his hero skills: spidey-senses activating when he sees Yueru bravely climb out of her crib and almost landing on the rug if it weren’t for his reflexes, knowing how much baby formula to make per bottle when you’re taking a nap and the twins are hungry, patiently teaching Haru how to do his hiragana characters when all he wants to do is color the animals on the edges of the worksheet.
One could say that your husband is a professional father already, and you couldn’t agree more. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
urgh I'm dying from cuteness overload (๑ > ᴗ < ๑) I hope this answered your request, anon! TYSM once again for your love and support ❤︎❤︎
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oceantornadoo · 2 years ago
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thinking about your husband aka mafia au!simon riley telling you he’ll be gone for a couple days, some trip for the Family in chicago, doesn’t give any details, leaving you fretting over a man you’ve kissed twice. and honestly you should enjoy the days of silence in the apartment, but instead you’re anxiously twisting your hands and wearing his shirts, worrying. your cousins don’t know anything about the trip so it’s all on you to panic when a couple days turns into a week, then two. and finally, finally, it’s midnight and you’re stress baking when you hear a key turn in the doorway.
your husband walks through, bloodstains adorning his skull mask as his shoulders slump forward. and suddenly you’re running and jumping on him as he catches your legs around his waist, pulling you both into an embrace full of too many emotions to count. the i missed you’s and i’m sorry’s tinged with your underlying fear that he’d left you for another woman who would willingly consummate the marriage.
he walks you both over to the sofa as he drops his bag on the floor. simon revels in the scent of you, the sight of you in his shirt, better than any dreams he used to keep him company while he was away. you seem to be trying to burrow under his skin and he’ll let you, enraptured with the effect you have on him. he rubs your back in peaceful circles, willing you to calm down and walk off the edge of those tears threatening to fall from your eyes. “i’m sorry”, you pull back suddenly, wiping your eyes and looking ashamed, “i don’t know what got into me, you’re probably tired and-” “don’t worry about it, lovie. i missed you too.” he’s never called you that, never spoke to you with such affection before. you realize that by jumping on him, you shifted his mask over his lips. your hand shoots out to pull it down but he traps it with a larger hand of his own, willing you to let him show himself to you. you trace his lips with your fingers, noting the small scars. he kisses your thumb, so fast you might’ve missed it if you weren’t clocking his each and every movement. slowly, like walking through molasses, you tilt your head forward, lips touching his in a featherlight touch.
you’re kissing him. simon honestly thinks he hit his head and created a delusion, because his wife is straddling him and kissing him. not wanting to scare you, he lets you take charge, his hands sliding from your back to your waist. he pulls up your shirt ever so slightly, thumbs rubbing circles into the meat of your torso as he tries to show you how much he wants this. you gain more confidence, slowly grinding on his hardening cock. he lets out a low growl, causing you to stop. “don’t stop. please don’t stop.” he whispers, desperate to not let this dream end. “i thought you died.” you whispered back, needing him to understand how worried you’ve been. “i’d never leave you like that.” he says, placating your every worry. you smile against his lips and he pulls you back, needing you on him in every way.
his hands grip your hips and move them forward, encouraging you to grind. one of his hands moves to your throat and suddenly you’re whimpering, struggling to keep going through the tightness in your core to the aching of your nipples. “gonna let you come just like this, lovie. fucking yourself on my lap, crying for me.” the seam of his jeans feels so good against your clit, hitting it at just the right angle to set you off. he grips your throat tighter, a reminder that you stopped kissing him, and you eagerly give him more, soft kisses turning sloppy.
you’re grinding faster and faster, unable to control your movements as you rut against him like a bitch in heat. all you need is to come, and the friction between your legs is about to do it. simon angles his hand on your hip downwards, thumb pressing on your clit over your pajamas. you whine, right on the edge, absolutely needing nothing more than to let go. simon fucks into you, never minding the clothes, and whispers “be a good little wife and come for me.” that’s it, your walls spasming over nothing as you come, collapsing into simon’s arms as he continues to rub your clit, prolonging your orgasm. you’re panting, delirious and tired with the emotional and physical energy of the night, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep.
“sleep with me tonight?” simon asks cautiously, not wanting to spook you. you nod against his shoulder and he takes you both to bed, stripping off his clothes to jump in with you. you stiffen beside him but he isn’t having any of that, pulling you in to be the little spoon. “night, wife.” he murmurs into your hair, placing a small kiss on your head. “night, husband.” you reply, hand covering his as you both drift off into a peaceful sleep.
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playnextdoor · 7 months ago
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summary: pregnant! reader gets upset at her rapid weight gain due to the pregnancy so abby wants to kiss it all better
warnings: pregnant female reader, mentions of weight and size, mentions of numbers in weight, slight angst, crying, kissing, slight proofread, abby being sweet. please lmk if i miss any.
this is a reupload!
you can't help but let out an exaggerated groan. in abbys wife pleaser and her baggy blue gingham boxer briefs, you stare at your pregnant self in the mirror in front of you. you knew you were going to gain weight when you found out that you were pregnant with your little girl, but not so soon. youre 6 months in, and your belly already stretching out your top and bottoms, making your outfits snug to your body. your chest got a bit fuller from last time, and your hips have filled up.
abby looks up from her laptop, the blue screen glowing onto her face. her reading glasses perched right on the tip of her nose and her blonde locks free from her usual braid. the shared bed faces the mirror as she looks at you through it, a confused but cutely painted look on her face.
"what's the matter?" abby asks, taking off the glasses to get a good look as to why you decided to loudly announce whatever was bothering you. she truly couldn't hold in her giggles when your patience has decreased these past weeks. this morning, you got upset while looking at the tulips abby helped plant with you (mostly just her) a couple of weeks ago, weren't growing as fast as you wanted to.
pushing your hair out of your face, you groan again. "the doctor said i gained 8 lbs since i’ve seen her but i think it's more..". your hands travel down to rub your tummy. you avoid eye contact with abby, feeling her eyes staring at your face as you look down at your baby bump.
she nibbles the inside of her lip, trying to think of what to say because she doesn't like when you talk about yourself like that. "i think you look, beautiful babe."
"nuh uh. youre saying that because i’m your wife and i’m carrying our baby, so that doesn't count" you raise your voice as it starts cracking, your face feeling hot and tears start welling in your eyes. abby immediately notices the change of tone in your voice. she knew you had a hard time with changes, and the baby was a huge change for both of you. abby would of course try her best to make you feel better but there's so much she could do before you get into your head.
"c'mere," abby says, closing her laptop and setting it aside on the nightstand. you sulk over to the edge of the bed, playing with a loose thread. you feel abby playfully kick your hand. "babe, c'mere. why are you so sad?" she asks, trying to bring your attention back to her but you are just being so stubborn.
"it's just everything is happening so fast and i’m getting huge and it's scaring me and i’m just being a bad wife because all you hear me do is complain about myself," you sniff through choked sobs, finally taking a look up at her. tears slowly fall down your cheeks and some snot trickles down your nose.
abby wants to laugh at how cute you look but she holds it in, giving you a little sad smile. she opens her arms invitingly, the way her black t-shirt fits so nicely on her by accentuating her biceps. you can't say no to that. you shuffle closer to her before you lay your whole weight down onto her body. she wraps her arms around you, shifting so that your back is on her chest, leaving room for you to breathe comfortably.
"first of all.." abby starts saying softly in your hair before kissing you on top of your head. "you’re not a bad wife." she places her head on top of yours, reaching her hands down onto your swole belly. you cringe, feeling how she traces the light stretch marks that litter your skin. "second of all.." another kiss but near your ear this time, "you're not huge. you're carrying our sweet girl. i don't like hearing you tell yourself that." her hands find yours, tangling into them as she holds them. you huff, not knowing what to say.
"i’m sorry.." you whisper, taking one of her hands and playing with her fingers. tracing her nail bed to her palm where you trace the lines like a maze. abby shakes her head a bit before wrapping the same hand up on the side of your head. the way she can just manipulate you however she pleases makes you instantly melt into her palm, looking up at her.
she smiles down at you, wiping the bit of mucus that was on your upper lip. she leans her head down, not caring about your tear-stained, booger face, as she places a soft but deep kiss on your lips. abby tilts her head, slightly tightening the grip she has on your head as she slips her tongue inside your mouth. you can't help but let out a soft gasp, allowing abby to take whatever. she places one last peck before licking her lips as she watches your cute disheveled face, lips glossy, softly panting and cheeks blushing.
"i don't want you to apologize for anything, ok baby?" abby says, caressing your cheek with her thumb. all you can do is nod, snuggling your head into her neck and wrapping yourself within her. she smiles, gently reaching over to the nightstand to turn off the bedside lamp. abby caresses your back until she feels your breathing regulates into a soft rhythm.
a/n: tysm for all the love these past days! idk how to end these. lmk if you all like this 🙂‍↕️ inbox is open
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sturniololuvz · 3 months ago
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Hiiii!!! Can you make a fic where the triplets little sister has bad eating habits and eats all day long and then she finally realizes that she is fat, and then she stops eating for a longgg time and loses a bunch of weight to where she’s super skinny and the triplets notice and make sure she’s ok and then she breaks down? Pleaseeee I need something like this!!🫶🏼💗🫶🏼💗
okayyy
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“I’m Still Me”
Sturniolo Triplets & little sister Y/N (age 15-16)
Genre: Angst / Hurt/Comfort / Eating Disorder Themes
Y/N had always been the bubbly one. The one who made weird food combos at 2am, who’d snack during videos and joke around with the triplets without a care in the world. Her eating habits had never been questioned—just a part of her personality. Always laughing, always chewing on something.
But over time… things changed.
It started with a comment. One random TikTok under a vlog clip:
“Does their sister ever stop eating lol??”
She laughed it off at first. But it stuck.
Then came another:
“Not to be rude but you can tell she’s gained weight…”
She stared at herself in the mirror that night, tugging at her shirt. Pulling up her hoodie and turning sideways.
And for the first time, she didn’t recognize the girl looking back at her.
Over the next few weeks, her habits flipped completely.
No more late-night snacks. No grabbing handfuls of chips during editing sessions. She skipped breakfast. Nibbled at lunch. Started making excuses at dinner.
“I ate earlier.”
“Not really hungry.”
“My stomach kinda hurts.”
It wasn’t long before the weight started to drop.
And she liked it. People stopped commenting. Some even complimented her.
But her face looked hollow now. Her jeans hung loose. And her once vibrant energy faded into something quiet—exhausted.
The triplets didn’t catch on right away. Chris thought she was just moody. Matt figured school was stressing her out. Nick noticed the quiet, but didn’t know what it meant.
Until one day, they were filming, and she stood up too fast and collapsed.
Chris was the first to her side.
“Y/N?! What the hell—are you okay?”
She blinked, dizzy, struggling to sit up. “I-I’m fine…”
Matt grabbed a water bottle. “You’re pale as hell. When’s the last time you ate?”
Her silence was louder than anything she could’ve said.
Nick sat down beside her slowly, eyes full of concern. “Y/N… tell us the truth.”
Tears filled her eyes before she could even speak.
“I-I don’t know what’s wrong with me…” she whispered, voice cracking. “I just… I hated how I looked. Everyone kept saying stuff, and then I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So I stopped eating, and at first it felt good, but now—now I feel like I’m disappearing and I’m scared and I don’t know how to stop.”
She broke.
Collapsed into Chris’s chest, sobbing so hard her whole body shook.
Chris wrapped his arms around her, holding her like he did when she was a little kid with scraped knees. “You’re not broken, Y/N. You’re just hurting. And we’re gonna help you get through this.”
Matt crouched beside them, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “You don’t have to go through this alone, okay? We’re your brothers. We got you.”
Nick nodded, voice thick with emotion. “We love you no matter what size you are. You’re still you. And that’s who we care about.”
She clung to them like her life depended on it. And in that moment, she realized she didn’t have to carry it all by herself anymore.
Weeks later, the road to recovery was still hard. There were good days and bad. But the boys never let her eat alone. They made meals together. Went on walks. Left notes on the fridge that said “You’re beautiful” and “One step at a time.”
And slowly, with their love and patience, Y/N started to believe it too.
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hpiiker · 3 months ago
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HASAN WITH FEM!PCOS!READER || HP²⁵ ❤️‍🩹 ʚ♡ɞ
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:: HPIIKER’S PROFILE || my inbox is open! 📨
:: so, i’m officially diagnosed with pcos… and i’m on the cusp of having an infected uterus but luckily no signs of early menopause😀, so this is for comfort !! there’s obviously mentions of M/HRT (menopause/hormonal replacement therapy), depression, anxiety, basically the side effects of being a woman 😭
:: it’s happy but endearing. white ferrari by frank ocean !!
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— he’s ofc an ALLYYYYYYY 🫡
— when you first found out by the doctors for getting the official diagnose for pcos, he’s sat beside you. rubbing your back up and down while giving you the look of comfort, mixed with a warm smile.
— obviously as a woman, you felt ashamed and out of control for not feeling like a woman with having to deal with this. hasan was so tapped in with you and your emotions. if you needed to talk with him, he’s 1000000000% there.
— he didn’t mind at all with helping you through your mental, hormonal, physical fluctuations. from depression to gain weight to peaks of testosterone causing, fertility issues, excessive hair, withdrawal periods :(
— he especially help you with your irregular periods and health. overall with starting to workout and to eat better or anything that could help.
— a few weeks passed and you been perscribed provare to induce withdrawal periods, and like every fucking reproductive medication, the side effects are like a blanket. hasan saw the disappointment seeping through your face, he reassures you with a bear like hug 🥹
— he saw the changes in you with you eventually leading up to a period. the breakouts of annoyance, depression and anxiety.
— this himbo has pads and tampons on DECK😭
— ngl, hasan is slightly intimidated by you. whenever you’re on your period😭😭
— whenever you’re in bed, cramping up. he sits on your side of the bed, next to you and rolls over to you while he’s giving you forehead kisses!
— or it’s late at night and the cravings are kicking in, he’s so excited and down to drive around late at night for hours and go to many shops and fast food restaurants!!!
— kaya sticking by you WAAAAAAY more, hasan is out of the family picture 😭😭😭
— with emotional days of pcos, i can imagine when you’re both laying in bed for the day, you’re just crying and choking up your words in his arms and he’s giving you the ultimate comfort.
— SO MAAAANNNNY kisses, hugs and quiet moments.
— you’re staying in bed and he’s doing everything for you but you insist you can do it 😭😭
— when you were first prescribed on provera, you were pretty scared about the outcome, but hasan did his research and could reassure you with any questions you had🙂‍↕️
— hasan had noticed lately that your energy was completely zapped out of you. there’s MANY moments of you falling asleep and he’s always getting the closest blanket near you, to make you sure you always have a blanket on you 😭😭🥹
— when hasan is streaming, he definitely quietens down if you’ve fallen asleep on the settee.
— you walked into hasan stream, being completely clueless that he’s currently streams he warns you that he’s streaming, but to be completely honest, that sentence just completely came through one ear and left through the other ear 😭😭
— as you’re standing next to hasan, he wraps him arms around your waist, resting his head in the curves of your torso. “just let me know if you need anything… or me” he chuckles at himself, causing you to break a smile. “thanks, but im just going to sleep again for like the 500th time again. pcos is no joke” you snarked at yourself. “love you”, “love you too” which you and hasan said in unison, causing you two to smile like you two are inlove for the first time again <333
— overall this man is HEAVEN SENT. you’re never letting this man go or not letting any woman getting in the way 🙂‍↕️
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