#and i’m not saying i didn’t like my college experience or whatever but fuck i’m so tired of living so far away from everything in a place

[johndonneswife]

[fakeoutbf]

.

[foldingfittedsheets]

The Daisy story has made me realize I have a piece of advice for my younger followers. When we are in school, those of us who are different, we are often bullied. People are mean to us because of who we are. We patch over those wounds as we go out into the world with our scars.

But when you enter college, the workforce, the military, a food service job, whatever, people are going to be mean to you for an entirely different reason. Not because of who you are but because of what you are. And what you will be is new. New to the team, new to the job.

When you are new to an assimilated group of people working towards a common goal you represent a liability. You are by default not pulling your weight and everyone knows it. You don’t know the rules and the rhythms.

So humans as a collective developed hazing. Across time and cultures people decided to be dicks to newcomers. It’s usually petty suffering inflicted because the core group wants to see what you’re made of. How you’ll handle mishaps and adversity. They need to know if you’re someone they can count on and the fastest way to do that is through aggression.

The biggest mistake you can make in that situation is to automatically assume they’re being mean because of who you are. They might be! People are shitty sometimes! But it’s worth reflection because it’s much more likely that it’s just generalized spite trying to reveal your character. I’m not saying bullying doesn’t happen in work places or that you should put up with people being a dick to you but this is just a phenomena I’ve seen over and over. I’ve been on the receiving end of this in a ton of jobs.

We didn’t dislike Daisy as a person when we pulled our prank. We disliked that we couldn’t count on her. We got yelled at for pizzas that she fucked up, we got yelled at when she was going too slow. We as a team bore the brunt of her ineptitude and so we as a team tried to vent it back to her. Daisy then showed us what she was made of.

What she was made of was just sunshine and buttercups and amazing good temper. We understood then that she needed tasks that weren’t as fast paced but rather customer facing because her positive attitude made up for her lack of hustle.

In my workplace experience food service will almost always haze, retail only sometimes, sales very seldom.

[spacexgrl]

Bittersweet ! 🎀

mdni <3 you’re here pt 2

series masterlist 💋

~ in which Ellie breaks up with you and you go a little crazy ~

ex! ellie williams x fem! reader , abby anderson x fem! reader

college au!

warnings: angst, break up, cheating!!, cursing, toxic behavior, smut in future chapters, sexual themes<3 feminine and girly reader ,not proof read!!

You watched as Ellie stuffed her duffel bag with all her clothes out of your shared closet, at least you’d have more space for new clothes, you’ll definitely do some online shopping later to cheer yourself up.

You’ve stopped crying at this point, you decided that Ellie’s not worth your tears right now she doesn’t deserve to see you in this state, you won’t let her have it. Instead you wiped your heavy tears away and tried to stay calm … at least until she left.

Ellie shifted from her kneeling position as she finished packing her things up, she was ready to leave. She tried to get close to you one last time, a poor attempt to initiate a hug which you declined with taking a step back. What the fuck was that?? you thought, she couldn’t stop making this more awkward than it already was.

“I just want you to know that.. i want to try to be friends i can’t throw away everything we went through and i hope you feel the same way..maybe not now but one day ”

Her voice broke mid sentence, but you wanted to laugh in her face. You just threw away everything we had you asshole is what you wanted to say but you bit your tongue.

You wanted to scream at her

i did everything for you! I did everything to make you happy, i gave you my all and you did fucking nothing! Why couldn’t you end things sooner huh? Fucking coward all you did was waste my time and efforts Ellie, fuck i hope you’re happy fucking Dina every night just like you did on your little studying sessions.

“i know you probably hate me and i’m really sorry i just…fuck i fell in love with her you know? I didn’t meant to i swear i-“

She went on and on with her rambling, stopping when she noticed you weren’t listening to her bullshit anymore. All she said was that Dina was better than you, you got it like 20 minutes ago fuck.

“Goodbye Ellie”

at this point you pushed her out of the doorframe, she pleaded you to let her say goodbye properly whatever the fuck that means. You didn’t wanna find out. Ellie was still so immature in the head..poor girl will never know what she wants. Yeah that was probably it you tried to make sense of the situation but it was just stupid. It wasn’t your fault that she couldn’t love you the way you deserved, it wasn’t your fault that she needed to ruin what you’ve built for some short term fun.. you were her first kiss, her first time, her first love her first everything.

You guess her thirst for new experiences won against years of loving each other.

You remembered meeting Ellie when you were little, she’d always get into fights with kids that were mean to you on the playground. She was your hero and you believe that you loved her from the very beginning. She’d talk your ear off about space, dinosaurs and how she wanted to become an astronaut when she grows up and you believed in her, you always did.

The day before she asked you to be her girlfriend, Ellie introduced you to her Father, Joel. It was such a beautiful day you got along so well and he absolutely loved you. You were convinced that you were going to marry Ellie one day…how wrong you were.

Once Ellie was accepted into college you were the first one to know but Ellie.. Seattle is so far away.. you were so happy for her but you weren’t made for a long distance relationship. I know but.. i want to get into Aerospace engineering and it’s the best place for that babe.. come with me? Please?

just like that you applied for your dream major and got accepted in no time. You wished things would’ve gone differently..

You shrugged off the memories that were floating in your head as you plopped on your king sized bed, face down on your fluffy pillows. You groaned loudly and forced yourself up against the bed frame, grabbing your phone you left on the nightstand.

Mindlessly scrolling through instagram you stumbled across a picture of her.

It was a mirror selfie in a free weights section of some gym..she was in a tight competition shirt and grey sweats, boxers peeking out just a tiny bit as she flexed her big beefy arms..god you could almost count the muscles on her stomach.

Her blonde locks were tied in a loose braid, little strands framing her freckled face..okay that’s enough you thought as you clicked on her profile taking in every picture her hands are so big you bit your lip and rubbed your thighs together without even noticing has Abby Anderson always been this hot??

Of course she has..straight A student biology major scholarship basketball team captain daughter of one of the greatest neurosurgeons in the state Abby Anderson

Ellie never told you about her feud with her..she just told you to stay away from her at all costs. Babe it doesn’t matter just ignore her trust me she’s no good..i fucking hate her guts is what you recall her saying after Abby greeted you in the hallway like one time.

Lost in your thoughts you didn’t notice that you accidentally liked one of her newest stories oh no no no fuck!! you panicked and threw your phone on your bed far away from you.

ding!

ding!

ding!

please be Ellie you prayed to god that it was Ellie hoping she left something important behind but you were wrong.. maybe you should just end it all now…

after contemplating your entire life for about 5 minutes you dared to click on Abby’s messages

hey doll

heard about your breakup.. Ellie’s a dick anyway lol

want me to cheer you up?

🎀

pt 3

[zyhkoo]

☆ we do together - jason todd x f!reader

fluff, vigilante reader, college au

you and jason work on your research paper

With patrol done, the two of you immediately slumped on the couch. Though you had your own patrol route, you loved to get in Jason’s patrol route. Not that he didn’t mind of course, he’d gladly let you patrol with him. Today’s patrol was crazy though, it definitely wore the two of you out.

Not bothering to change into much comfortable clothes, you and Jason lazed on the couch. You were sitting down while he was on the far corner of the couch while his feet laid on your lap.

Your stomach grumbled, you forgot to eat your lunch a while ago because you were so busy with your college assignments.

You looked over at him “Jay..” you called out his name. Jason, whose eyes are closed while facing the ceiling, answered “Yeah?”

You sighed, “I’m hungry.. you promised to cook.” Jason slowly turns his face to you “Told you, you said you weren’t hungry while doing the assignment.” he scolded.

The two of you were in literature degrees, in the same class, same professors, and the same lectures. So any assignments, projects so on and so forth; Jason and you would always work together.

“I really wasn’t, I snacked too much.” you retorted “Can we just get takeout?” he asks while crossing his legs. You rolled your eyes and reached the phone to your pocket “Fine.”

You looked at the clock on your homescreen, 2:30 am. Then.. a sudden realization hit you. You tug on his jacket “Jason..” he looks at you with a lazy expression “Hm?”

You looked at him horrifyingly, he checked the clock then it hit him too.

“The research paper!”

You were quickly going through the food app while Jason scrambled to the laptop “Fuck we’re only halfway.” he curses, his hand moving to his forehead “At least it’s halfway…” you pointed out.

You look for sources while Jason reads and types out whatever is needed, if anyone walked in on both of you they’d be concerned to see two College students looking like zombies.

The pizza you ordered arrived, Jason opened the box and saw the toppings you disliked on the pizza “Thought you hated this?” he said, showing you the pizza.

She groaned “Ugh, I must’ve accidentally asked for it. Whatever, give me a slice I’m starving.”

Jason remembers waiting for the letters for both your college applications. You both graduated highschool together, and now this was the bigger deal. Jason was looking forward to being in college with you, especially in a degree you both absolutely were interested in.

He remembered you pacing on the manor waiting for the mail to come while Jason told you that it was going to be alright. You wanted to be in college with him too of course, you’ve known each other since forever and you want it to stay that way.

Damian knocked on Jason’s door with two letters on his hand “These are for you, Todd. Is she in there as well?” Jason took the letters from his small tiny hand “Yeah she is, thanks.” Jason says as he closes the door.

“Is this it?” you asked “Yep, here's yours.” the two of you read in silence, he was accepted. Jason looked at you, a small smile on his face. You were still reading the contents of the letter, focusing hard “So? What’d they say?”

You turned back to him with a bright smile “I'm in! You?” he returns the smile “Got accepted too.” you pulled him to a tight embrace “We’re starting college together oh my god I’m so happy.” she says.

He wanted to experience all the bad and good things in life with you. Because he loves you, your presence just makes him happy already. At first, he wasn’t sure if he was capable of loving, but with you it was enough.

Morning passed, Jason woke up on the table. A blanket was covering him and next to him was you, peacefully sleeping on the coffee table. He looked at your features and smiled, pressing a kiss on your forehead.

You stirred in your sleep “Jay?” he looks down “Yeah?” he answered your call, you shook your head, yawning. “Nothing.” he sighs softly, playing with your hair “Just wanted to call my name?”

You nodded “Yeah.” he yawned “Well, shit it’s twelve now. Can’t go to class today.” he comments, " you stretched your arms. “It’s okay fuck the professor.” you say “We’ll pass it tomorrow.”

[wisedelusionalmarshmallow]

@rosekillermicrofic, September 6th - Book, T, Word Count - 721

It was a really regular day today at the bookstore where Barty works.

Like really regular.

Like 'all of his regulars came in today' regular. 

The couple who comes here every two weeks to buy two books. Barty learned that they trade the books once they’re done with them and then have bookclub-style date nights. Which is really cute but totally not his thing.

The old ladies who come here for an actual bookclub. Barty had to stifle a laugh at today's choice, some 'murder mystery’ that was a lot more romance than their usual mystery or horror selection.

The one young boy who spends all his weekly allowance on the newest Batman and Spiderman comic.

Even the young woman with the service dog. Barty always has good conversations with her, even though he can never remember her name, and isn’t too keen on asking for the fourth time.

The entire day, Barty was waiting for the ball to drop. Waiting for a call from his boss telling him a shipment got delayed or that he’ll have to cover for Avery again because somehow he’s always sick the day there’s a concert playing in the city over. Figure that one out.

But none of that happened.

It was half an hour to closing when Barty heard the doorbell chime, signalling someone had just entered the store. 

Now, he doesn’t have the best view of the door from where the counter sits—his manager trying to get more stock shoved on the shelves rather than worrying about the safety of the store—so he doesn’t really see the customers until they ask a question or come to check out some items.

That’s how he found himself leaning over his counter, trying to figure out the new scheduling system on their computer. He'd been putting it off all day and just needs to get it done before the store falls into more chaos than it already is. But he just can’t even get past the sign-in. His manager left a sheet of employee codes, but every time he would input it, nothing would work.

That’s when the stack of computer science textbooks appeared on the counter in front of him. Ah, the customer was ready to pay. But if they’re taking computer science, would it be rude to ask for help? No, right?

Ugh. Whatever. Without even looking up, Barty talks to the customer. “Hey man, I’m gonna guess you have some sort of experience with computers or whatever... Um, this—” he turns the monitor and points to the screen. “—is not letting me sign in, like at all. And I kinda need my schedule.” The customer laughs a little and that causes Barty’s head to shoot up. Holy—

Fuck! Why did he have to be hot? Barty awkwardly smiles at the man; he thought he would look like just another college nerd, not a literal Greek god.

He quickly surveys the issue. “Are you forgetting your password?”

“Nope. I have it right here,” Barty smiles, very nervous and flustered about the situation.

“Hmm.” The customer places his head in his hand, surveying the screen before looking down to the keyboard. “Ah.” He reaches forward and clicks a single key. Caps Lock. Could this day get any more embarrassing?

“Thank you,” Barty sighs. Then turns the monitor towards himself again and enters the password, the little ding coming from the speaker, and the application finally loads. He looks over to the books on the counter before looking up at the man’s face again. “I wish I could give you one of those for free, but my boss didn’t really like it when I did that last time.”

“I’ll just take your number instead then,” he says casually.

Barty’s ears go red. Oh my god, did he just ask for my number? Ohmygodohmygod. “Uh–I. Sure.” Barty grabs out a new roll of receipt paper, the closest thing to scrap paper that he has right now, and rips off a piece, quickly scribbling out his number, praying he remembers all ten digits correctly.

He hands the paper off and smiles at him, waiting for the customer to say something and then leave. Except they just stand there in silence. Staring at each other.

That is, of course, until the ball drops. 

“...you gonna ring me up?” 

[endereies]

ADDICTED TO YOU

Pairing: Chris x Reader

Contains: Sub!Chris (kinda), Drug-usage (be smart people), Blowjob, Hair pulling, don't like - don't read. Let me know if i missed anything<3

Requested?: no

Author's notes: This is my first time writing smut so I hope it's good loll

Word Count: 2975

I had been to many parties in my life, fuck, I hosted half of them. But I never did anything crazy. I only provided, sometimes that drove me crazy. People around me were constantly inhaling smoke and I could only sit back and watch as the small embers burn and lit up in the cherry, making their faces glow against the night.

I had never had the urge to smoke and watching everyone get high was always an experience, typically leading to me taking care of everyone and making sure no one ever went overboard.

I was stressed.

-

I had been forced by some random kids at my college to host another party, only as a gateway to sell drugs to other students who shared the same cravings. It was a constant I was forced to adapt to, whether I liked it or not.

I had the same few people come up to me and most of the time the conversations reached around the same bends.

Most.

Chris has always managed to drag me in to some sort of long conversation, it made me feel like I wasn’t just used as a gateway to safely get high. Even if he had tried to convince me one or twice…

-

“Cmon y/n, you have never even wondered what it is like?” I had tried to walk to my lessons a long time ago but Chris had caged me in his presence enough that I had given up ten minutes ago.

“Of course I have wondered, but I don’t care enough to go along with anything.” I roll my eyes at him and try to turn away but he grabs my wrists and twists my body back towards him again.

“We both know that isn’t true” I provide him with a lack of a response and I raise an eyebrow at him.

“I’ve seen you at those parties, your eyes trace the blunts every single time. It’s the one thing you pay attention to other than those people who beg for ‘secret spots’ in your house.

“The fuck do you know, you are always out your mind whenever I see you. Nate had to drag you out last time.” I cross my arms over my chest, hoping he will try and drop the subject soon.

“I had a new kind, ma. That ain’t fair…” He feigns a pout, not holding it for long without any giggles.

“Whatever, look. Just be at my place at seven. I’m hosting.”

“Wouldn’t miss it.” He leaves with that same stupid grin on his face.

-

The party had started an hour ago and I had landed myself in the gardens outside faster than I would’ve liked. My tie hung loosely around my neck and the top button of my shirt was undone. Already, someone had thrown up in front of me. Definitely the effects of previous substances but it was enough to dampen my mood and force me for some fresh air.

“Hey ma, nice outfit. Shame you chose outside as your runway.” I hear Chris’s voice from in front of me but I don’t bother enough to respond in the same manner as him.

“What.”

“You alright y/n?” He kneels down, his knees meeting to damp grass just so that he can see my face, full of mixed emotions.

“Some bitch nearly threw up on me, thankfully she didn’t but I can’t say the same to the houseplants.” I sigh and look away from him.

“Already?” My head nods in response.

“Well…Why are you out here then?” His voice seems gentler and calmer, noticing his normal attitude won’t get him anywhere.

“The smell was strong; the people are pissing me off and I have a headache from the shit music they are playing on repeat. But that’s nothing new…”

“Mind if I smoke?” He practically ignores the last sentences I give him and pulls out a poorly wrapped blunt that seems like it’s been stuffed into his pocket for a little bit too long.

“Whatever.”

He takes one of the garden chairs and drags it over the grass to sit close to me. As close as the seats would allow before the metal legs scrapped each other.

A small spark emits from an old red lighter before it glows with an orange flame. The light breeze shakes it and weakens the strength, making it have to stay alight longer before it managed to light the blunt. Chris holds the blunt between his lips, holding it there while putting the lighter in his pocket, inhaling weakly. It takes a few seconds before a cloud of smoke exits between Chris’s lips.

I didn’t mean to stare but the way the fire lights up his face in the dark was somewhat mesmerising. I could just be the awful night I was having but everything just seemed so much more appealing.

I suddenly grab the blunt from Chris’s hand and place it in between my own fingers and bring it to my lips and breath in. Big mistake.

I don’t even get a change to hold in the smoke before it exits my lungs harshly, scrapping my throat as it arises.

“Woah woah, y/n. Jesus are you okay?” His touch immediately burns into my back as he soothes it with his palm. “Take it easy…”

I can’t respond to him without producing weak coughs.

“If you really want to do it, I can show you?”

I’ve definitely had a shit day if I am really debating getting high. I don’t want to openly admit it so I nod my head slowly.

“Okay…I’ll show you how first, yeah?” I study his motions as he hollows out his cheeks slightly and allows more space to inhale, the ember’s light glows a little brighter when he breathes in. The blunt rests between his index and middle fingers and he draws it away from his mouth. Chris tilted his head away from mine and blows out the smoke into the cold air and I watch as it slowly disappears.

“Here.” His hand moves next to mine and I shakily grab the blunt.

Was I really doing this?

I bring it to my lips and exhale softly before placing it into my mouth.

“Try and relax and rest it just between your lips…” His voice trails off, putting his focus into adjusting my grip on the blunt.

“Like this?” My voice is meek as I try not to blow out the blunt.

“Better, ma. Now, inhale it slowly, once you feel a sting I want you to stop and hold it in.”

I try and take a long and deep breathe but the stinging comes sooner than later. I manage to hold it in my lungs for a few seconds before I’m forced to exhale quickly out of my nose with a slight cough. I shut my eyes as they start to water. Chris immediately takes the blunt from my fingers and I cough a little harsher now.

“There you go, not bad for your first time.” He smiles at me, taking the blunt between his own lips again while he waits for me to calm myself.

“That wasn’t as bad as the first time.” I shake my head as I cough one last time.

“This is a stronger one y/n, I’d rather you not take any huge amount of this, alright?” His tone isn’t as gentle and when he faces me his expression isn’t anything but serious.

“Yeah...sure.”

-

Chris and I had swapped between this blunt a few times and it had really started to hit me now, everything was dream-like. My vision lacked behind my brain and caused me to feel dizzy when I laughed too much or moved my head a little quickly. We kept on giggling to ourselves and playfully making jokes to one another.

“Fuck, I think I am feeling this now.” I smile pathetically at him, no longer being able to fully control my expressions.

“Yeah? Good. That’s when the good shit starts to happen, ma.” His eyes linger on mine as I take the blunt between my lips and take a deep inhale of the smoke. I watch his gaze fall to my lips even after the blunt is back in his hand again. When he looks back up a smirk is plastered on his face and I immediately try to compose myself.

Chris takes one final puff of smoke and put out the blunt, smashing it between the grass and the sole of his shoe. He looks over to me but I’m already staring at him.

“Everything okay?”

“You’re pretty.”

I don’t even think about the words I’m saying anymore to him, I’m too gone to care.

“Is that so?” He smiles sheepishly at my, gazing back down to my lips.

“Very much so. I’ve always noticed that.” A silence falls between us as we edge close to each other, his face only being a few inches away from mine.

I let out a shaky breath once I finally acknowledge the distance shortening between us.

“Do I make you nervous, y/n?”

The warmth of our breath mingled between us before our lips finally meet each other’s.

The gentle pressure was enough to make me lose my mind and send a shiver down my spine. Chris’s fingers wrapped around the edge of my jaw, pulling me slightly closer to him. His teeth graze my lower lips slightly and I open my mouth for him to gain better access. I feel him smile against me and the way his hand traced my arm had me intoxicated.

I slowly pull away from him, wanting to catch my breath and his gaze remains locked on my lips, slightly coated in his saliva. The fixation makes me instantly clench my thighs tightly together.

His palm rolls off my arm and places itself on to my hip, using his thumb to press small circles into my skin. He remains looking at me softly before placing his lips on mine again. I accept his touch almost instantly and I feel his hand that was on jaw snake around to the back of my neck, wanting to pull me closer.

He relaxed his body with the aid of the weed and sighed into the kiss. I laid my hands on to his thighs and slowly dragged them upwards. A deep sigh emits from him as my hands etch closer. He breaks the kiss and looks down to my palm, watching it with a dazed expression.

“Is this okay…?” I look down in the same direction as him and inch my hand so that I stop just below his dick.

He hums in response and nods his head eagerly, a tent clearly forming under his jeans.

Before I move my palm, he pulls my head towards me with his hand still on my neck and kisses me softly again. I use this to my advantage and I shift my hand so that I’m gently palming Chris through his clothing, but I don’t apply enough pressure for any major satisfaction. Even so, I earn a light whimper from Chris and it becomes harder to resist to apply more force.

“Please...don’t be a tease, ma.” His voice is gentle against my lips and I feel his warm breath on my skin, making me smile in to the kiss.

I was definitely being hit harshly with the effects of the weed, while I appreciated Chris’s appearance, I would never openly admit that. Let alone palm his dick, just after we kiss for the first time. I had always known that he was an attractive person and I often caught myself staring. And I bet he knew that too since he often caught me in a daydream while sheepishly smiling at him.

I find myself following his words and I break away from the kiss so that I can move from the chair to the wet grass beneath me.

His eyes look in to mine, practically begging me to touch him.

I keep my eyes on him while I brush my hands over his jeans and up towards his belt, slowly undoing it. I pull his jeans down past his waist and to his thighs.

I palm him again slowly and I see his head tilt backwards, making sure that I apply more pressure this time. I play with the waistband of his boxers and slowly pull them down to meet his jeans.

I stare at his dick and reality set in for a moment. Being high was mixing with my brain but at this point I was too far gone to care about that. It was something I would leave for future me to figure out.

I wasn’t going to overthink this and I just leant forward to kiss the tip of Chris’s dick and softly lick over it.

“Fuck…” His words fall softly from his lips in a whisper.

I continue to softly kiss the tip before licking a stripe down from his base to his tip and taking him in my mouth. A faint groan emits from Chris and his back arches slightly from the stimulation. He let his legs fall more to the sides which allowed me to etch closer. My mouth withdrawals from his cock and I smile at the hitched breath he takes from the loss of contact.

I swirl my tongue around my mouth whilst I gather saliva which drips off my tongue and falls on to the tip of his dick. It slowly flows down the side and I push the remaining amount down with my palm. My eyes fixate on Chris’s face and I drag my hand up and down his dick, torturingly slow. Looking back down towards me, Chris moans softly at the sound of my saliva over his skin, the weed making this experience more heightened for the both of us.

“Does this feel good Chris?” I mumble quietly against the skin of his thigh that I nip and kiss at.

“Fuck yeah, don’t stop…” He moans through his words breathlessly, the tone of my voice making his hips jerk into my palms.

I look back down to his dick and lean in so that my face is directly in front of his dick, making sure he keeps his eyes on me like a dog playing fetch. Groans echo through my ears once I take him in my mouth, letting my tongue glide across his skin. I take a few inches into my mouth and slowly bob my head up and down, making sure that I work with the rest in my hand.

One of his hands grips on to the sides of the chair, his knuckles turning white as he tries to remain still while the other hand finds its way to the back of my head. His fingers brush over my hair, almost reassuring me before he grabs a fistful into a make-shift ponytail.

After working around his tip for a few moments, something in me snaps and I deepthroat him, catching us both off guard. His hips rut towards my mouth as his dick hits the back of my throat and I gag slightly at the sensation.

A whine leaves Chris’s throat when I remove my mouth from him.

“You okay baby?” The name falls so casually from his lips and it grabs my attention quickly. “You don’t have t- fuck”

I draw out a long moan as I take his deep into my throat once again, getting past the constant need to gag. When I do gag, I try and not pull off completely and work around the tip again.

Chris decides that isn’t enough and uses the strands of hair he gathered to push my head back down onto his cock. Saliva drips from the corners of my mouth and I collect in my palm repeatedly, spreading it to the places my mouth can’t reach.

My eyes look back up to him, his face twisted in pleasure.

“If you keep looking at me l-like that I’m gonna c-cum, ma.” I hum in approval, sending vibrations down his dick. His grip on my hair tightens and pulls slightly whenever his hips jerk upwards.

I feel his dick twitch slightly in my mouth, signalling that he was close, so I slow down to tease him a little while longer.

“y/n…I’m close.” He moans breathlessly and pants through his words.

When he says this, I take him deep in my mouth, doing my best to supress my gags. He twitches again and his hips jerk up to hit the back of my throat. His grip on my hair tightens and he holds me in place.

“fuck..” He groans as he cums down my throat. I ignore the tears that prick at my eyes and swallow it all. My mouth leaves his dick but my hand remains pumping it to ride out his high. Small whimpers leave his lips once it starts to become too much and I look up at him, his face slightly fucked out.

“Was that okay?” I murmur quietly trying to break the silence.

“Ma, that was perfect, you looked so pretty with my cock in your mouth.” His words land heavily through his breaths but I smile up at him as he adjusts himself.

Chris is a little uneasy on his feet once his orgasm diminishes, the effects of weed only slightly weaker now. He pulls his boxers and jeans back up and looks me in the eyes as I follow suit and stand next to him. Fingers wrap around under my chin and pull me towards Chris for another kiss, allowing him to taste himself.

“I should get high with you more often, Chris” I speak against his lips making him pull back.

“Yeah? You’d be a fool to think this wasn’t happening again.”

© ENDEREIES 2024

@melliflws @axolotllover225 @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @sturniolosmind @worldlxvlys @patscorner @breeloveschris @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @mayhem-72 @luverboychris

[fairsexynasty]

ˏ🔪ˋ°•*⁀➷･ IF YOU REWRITE YOUR LIFE, MAY I STILL PLAY A PART?

.｡🗡️*⋆⍋*🃏*｡ ethan landry x chad meeks-martin x fem!reader

summary: your living situation had already been a mess. but with how charming your roommates were, it soon intertwined with your love life.

warnings: hurt + comfort, (un)requited love, love confessions, angst, hints to attachment anxiety, panic attacks, mentions of smut (ethan getting dicked down :o), guilt, domesticity, chef!ethan, non gf! au

a/n: heavily inspired by we’re in love by boygenius, that song requires tissues bro. this will be a series :3

you had to have been the worst best friend in the world. there was no logical explanation for the way you’d been feeling besides that. it’s not that you did anything wrong—at least, tangibly. your perspective just happened to shift, as it does with age, but you never expected it’d fuck your life up at 19.

college is a terrible place, swarming with hookup culture. and in nyc, it’s twenty times worse. you liked to think you were one of the only sane ones left, as in, being someone who wished oh-so-desperately to be swept off her feet by true romance. it only took one look around blackmore to see you most likely were not going to experience that from anyone.

but a girl can dream. and dreamt you did.

your living situation was a total fuckup. gigantic fuckup. monstrous fuckup. instead of making a home with girls who would help you create serotonin with every interaction, you were somehow rooming with two, sweetly dumb men.

ethan and chad share their differences, that’s for sure. chad’s cleanliness has been overrun by ethan’s haphazard living, and a handful of spats occur.

“ethan, for the last time, dude. clean up your shit! i don’t even know how your pants ended up in the kitchen.”

“chill out, chad, they’re just pants.”

“yeah, but they’re pants this week, and then it’ll be a condom the next.”

ethan scoffed. “says you. may i remind you, your name is chad.”

you’d always have to mediate between the two, giving them a smack on both their heads so they could feel the pain of the headache they gave you.

ethan’s things being in the kitchen somehow make sense. he’s in there whenever he has free time, cooking whatever try hard recipes he finds on his tiktok feed. they always turn out delicious, but ethan is an extremely controlling chef.

“what are you doing, chad?”

“what does it look like i’m doing? i’m eating a fry.”

“don’t touch the frites for the steak. out. of. my. kitchen.”

“may i remind you that y/n and i live here too?”

“yeah, but she isn’t eating the frites before the steak is ready. i haven’t even made the hollandaise yet.”

but even with their differences, they have many similarities. and those similarities were what had you feeling horrible in the first place.

chad and ethan might just have been the most charming men you’d ever encountered. it was strange to live with a girl in such close proximity, because living with a sister and parents was so different. but they never once made you feel like they didn’t want you there.

for the most part, what was theirs was yours. they never asked for the vice versa because they knew you’d kill them if they ever used your skincare or hair care in the bathroom.

that includes personal space, for some reason.

most nights you three got to spend time together, whether that was going out or staying in. everyone knew you had grown to be inseparable, including all the girls. mindy and anika never failed to call you names and titles.

“oh, look, it’s boygenius.”

every night typically looked like the three of you on the couch, a giant mclovin blanket covering you. you were typically in the middle, with both boys as close as humanly possible to you, as you watched whatever movie was picked out of your roulette list.

when it was a sad movie, like eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, ethan would be silently crying, head leaning on your shoulder for comfort. chad would be watching with wide, watery eyes, singular tears dropping every couple of seconds. his head would eventually perch upon your other shoulder.

with a comedy movie, like your favorite, superbad, typically you were sprawled out across ethan and chad, head resting on the arm of the couch, legs across their own.

and with a romance or drama movie, a train of bodies occurred. chad would be at the arm of the couch, with you resting in his lap, with ethan resting in yours. your hands would find themselves busy in ethan’s curls as you watched the movie, with chad’s chin resting on top of your head.

one time, you fell asleep after the movie in that exact position, and tara swung by to drop off some books. when she entered the apartment (of course she had a key, she was a ‘core four’ member,) she was met with the sight of you three. perfect photoshoot, in her mind.

the touchiness didn’t stop there. when walking outside, your arms were often linked together, or one of the boys would be holding your stuff while the other had an arm around your shoulders.

when you went to parties, they danced with you when you felt like it, and sat down with you when you felt like going on some kind of drunken tangent. and the behavior from them was eye-catching to everybody who saw you three together.

after a humanities class, a random girl walked up to you. the conversation was short and sweet, but left you stunned and questioning every part of your existence.

“hey, y/n. i just wanted to tell you that you and your boyfriends are literally goals. i can just feel the love radiating from all of you.”

love? there was no way chad AND ethan were in love with you. they probably would have beaten each other up by now if they were both into you. but, the random girl did say she thought you were all dating. and suddenly you found yourself watching the boys like a creep.

you kept a note in your phone of every single behavior that pointed to either two things: they were in love with you, and they were in love with each other. by the end of the week, you had amassed at least twenty different entries a day.

for evidence pointing towards their shared loved for you, you found that they’d start staring at you when you weren’t looking. their eyes often had a gleam you’d catch in the corner of your eye, and occasionally a failure of a repressed smile.

when you said goodnight, you’d feel their eyes on you until you closed the door to your room, and they never went to bed until at least an hour after you did, just to make sure you were safe asleep.

ethan would blush whenever you established physical affection with him or accepted his own, and chad would give you the biggest grins whenever you deglammed for the evening (and even when you were dolled up, that damn smile never left his face around you)

now, for the evidence pointing towards them being in love with each other? your theories were solidified one thursday night you had gotten back from the store. as soon as you had opened the door, the sluttiest whimper you’d ever heard, came from chad’s room. and you knew for a fact, chad was not the type to sound so desperate.

with one moan of a, “oh, fuck!” you knew ethan was getting dicked down by chad, and promptly left the apartment, deciding you forgot some milk. you probably sat in the trader joe’s parking garage for a good half an hour, attempting to process what you had almost walked in on.

it was reality. you all liked one another. it seemed too good to be true, though. how could two perfect guys like them, magnetize to you? with all your self consciousness, you shot them a text you were coming back home, and prepared yourself for confrontation.

when you got home, they immediately rushed outside to help you with the groceries. you didn’t make a comment on ethan’s flushed face and the trail of hickeys under his collar— which was the collar of chad’s shirt.

you felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest, neck, and skull at the same time. when everything was put away, chad gave you a kiss on the head and thanked you for going to the store.

“i need to talk to you two about something,” you blurted out, eyes fixated on the receipt that laid on the counter. “i think you might want to sit.” ethan and chad had brief looks of fear on their faces, but acquiesced to your request. you slowly trailed after them.

“is everything okay, sweets?” chad asked you after settling onto the couch next to ethan. “is there something wrong?”

you let out a shaky breath as your hand tugged at the sleeves of your shirt. “i don’t know. that’s what i want to know. you see, uh…” you trailed off. it was a struggle to find the right words. ethan patted his hand on the couch in between him and chad, and you sauntered over to them. when you sat down, you played with your hands, completely nerved. the boys took your hands in their own, trying to calm you. you took a breath.

“listen, i love you guys a lot. i really do, and everyone knows that. i mean, i’ve been so happy ever since you came into my life. i just, i really am. but, i think i’ve been having some realizations lately, and i think i’m one of the last people to see this has been happening, but, i know everyone thinks that we’re dating.” okay, that’s not what you really meant to say, but you pussied out at the last moment.

“oh, wow.” ethan said, with a small smile. you saw chad let out the smallest sigh of relief. “does it bother you?”

“yeah, um, no,-“

“wait, yeah as in it bothers you, or no it doesn’t bother you?” chad asked.

“nonono, i mean i’m not done with what i want to say, sorry,” you rushed out.

“don’t apologize,” chad smiled and rubbed your back. “take your time,” he encouraged.

you nodded slowly, and took another breath. “because of everyone thinking this, it made me start wondering if they were… onto something? so, i did a lot of thinking, and, at least on my part, i love you both a lot more than you might think i do. i’m, in love.”

both boys were silent for a moment. you felt your stomach churn, and your hands started to get clammy. as your anxiety crept up, so did the pace of your breathing, and within the silence, tears found their way to your face. had you fucked this up?

however, unbeknownst to you, ethan and chad both looked at each other, a silent nod of understanding, but then they immediately realized you were crying.

“shit, nonono, sweets, don’t cry, it’s okay! it’s okay, y/n!” chad wiped away your tears as ethan hugged you from behind.

“i’m sorry,” you sobbed, “i’m so sorry.”

ethan spoke gently into your ear, “y/n, there’s no reason to be sorry, it’s okay! we’re in love with you too! you didn’t do anything wrong!”

you stopped crying as chad held your face in his hands, a look of pure love across his face. “really?” you hiccuped. “you feel the same?” they both nodded in sync.

“yes, y/n.” chad agreed. “we’re in love.”

[lailuhhh]

Okay okay so I had this AU idea but it’s not something I could pull off so I’m here going to yell about it because I can’t stop thinking about it. And maybe because I think you’d write it so well

What if Mac didn’t want to join the army? What if Harry or James forced him too? And he’s been banned from coming home(for a specific period of time). Is it because Harry’s sick and dying and doesn’t want his grandson to see him like this? Is it James for a more sinister specific reason?

So Mac doesn’t want to be there. He wants to go home. He’s had basically bad experiences with most of the people he’s interacted with(I’m a sucker for Mac’s previous overwatches being awful to him) and Peña was the exception but he’s gone and now he’s stuck with Dalton and he’s got so much time left here still and Dalton gets to go home soon.

They still don’t get along but Mac still saves Jack and he’s shocked when Jack stays because he gets to go home and choose to stay. Ahh it would be so interesting.

✨✨✨✨✨✨BESTIE✨✨✨✨✨✨

Okay what if Mac’s considered a troubled child? He has a record of everything that he’s done and really the only big thing was exploding the football field. He’s the weird kid but is still the Mac we know and love

Assuming everything is still pretty much the same, Harry and James still talk and James gets updates on everything Mac does and that was like the decision of him going to the army. Harry opposes it because he knows the horrors of it but doesn’t really have the final say in anything because while he’s technically Mac’s guardian, James is— unfortunately— still his father

Let’s assume Mac got a scholarship, but it’s really James setting his plan into place and through the magic of television, through signing all the paperwork and everything and getting the scholarship settled, Mac said he’d join the army when he turned 18

So Mac more or less gets literally escorted out of his dorm and shoved onto an army bus and taken away to basic, all while calling Harry trying to figure out what’s happening but Harry just tells him he signed a contract. Mac even calls the Bozers to try to help out because they actually care and don’t want him sent into a battlefield

Training and everything passes, old overwatches come and go, Peña is the only person who says the whole situation is fucked up and tells Mac he’ll look into it because legally the contract Mac signed was null and void because he signed as a minor without his guardian present so he really shouldn’t be there. James gets word of it because that’s just a big problem so he had a plan to keen him from finding anything out, but Peña ends up dying from the Ghost’s bomb and James doesn’t have to Deal With Him™️

At that point, Mac is pretty much cut off from everyone because he didn’t want to be there and the only person that seemed to care and believe him died. Then he gets transferred and the whole interaction with Jack happens and the scene where we see Mac disarm the IED with a battery and gum, how they’re kinda warming up to each other, Mac is still completely closed off because he just hates it there so much, even though Jack is trying to be a decent guy

And then when Mac goes off on his own—

“Now, we need to get on the same page, kid, and I mean right now. That is, if you want to keep breathing. Next time you wait for me to take my position before you go scampering off like that, you hear me?”

“Whatever. Not like it would’ve mattered.”

Which leads to a blowout of Mac yelling how much he hates it there and that he was basically kidnapped from college because he knew that, while he didn’t read the full contract, any agreements would’ve been void like Peña said because he was a minor and he didn’t have the power to consent to actually joining the army

When Mac saves Jack, it’s more of a if it was just me I wouldn’t really care but I’m not going to let you die just because my life sucks and Jack can see Mac going in a downward spiral and knows that if he doesn’t stay then Mac won’t make it out of the sandbox

The last few days is basically how they first met, but Jack’s making an effort to actually be the guy we know and love but Mac doesn’t want anything to do with it because Jack’s leaving and what’s the point of trying to be friends with someone you’ll never see again

So when Jack actually pops into the side of the humvee

“Why’d you come back? You had the opportunity to go home.”

“My home will still be there. I told ya before that I get all my bomb nerds home and yer no exception. You were dealt a real shitty hand and it’s fucked that no one will help ya get to the bottom of it. So I’m gonna stay here, make sure ya get home so you can stick it to those that fucked ya over”

So Mac’s tour gets finished, and since Jack actually holds power, they leave and Jack gets on contact with his buddies up the ladder to help get to the bottom of it and it takes a while but they eventually get the documents Mac signed and then consent forms signed by James and that just starts a whole whirlwind of the true James Hate we deserved

**Bonus points for if Harry died while Mac was deployed but they didn’t let him go home because James knew he would go AWOL so all his free days and leave had to be on base, also Mac assumed that Harry was the one that consented to him joining so he pretty much hated him until he found out the truth

All assuming Mac signed the scholarship forms when he was like 16 because you can legally sign up for the army when you’re 17

[danielfuckingricciardo]

r/relationship_advice - Charles Leclerc x Reader

A collection of Reddit posts, comments, tweets, and fic

Pairing - Charles Leclerc x Reader

Synopsis - The reader is in a difficult situation, and decides to make a post on Reddit to get help with her predicament. What she doesn’t expect is for people to realise who she is.

Content Warnings - swearing, sexual references

Author’s Note - this is not just a standard fic! This is a collection of Reddit posts, comments, tweets, and fic. Sort of like a collage of different shit all telling one story! Because of this the perspective is different in each part, like the Reddit posts are in first person, and the fic is in second person as usual!

I wanted to experiment with something different structure wise, you know me, I like to fuck with stuff and do weird shit. If high school musical taught me anything, it’s that we shouldn’t stick to the status quo.

Please do tell me if you like the structure, if you don’t, if there’s anything you don’t think works etc! I’d love to do more shit like this so if you have any ideas of what else I could include in one of these (like text messages, DMs, Snapchat, insta stories, whatever) do let me know!

r/relationship_advice • 5d ago

Posted by throwaway27936

My (25F) boyfriend (27M) thinks I have a thing for one of my coworkers (25M). The worst thing about it is… I do.

I wanna preface this by saying that I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 18. And I do love him. But last year I managed to bag my dream job and it meant us going long distance.

I wasn’t worried about the whole thing, after all, we’d been together for six years already and lived together for three of them. We had two cats together, and the word on the street was he was thinking of buying a ring to pop the question before I got my job offer.

The job is my dream job, and it’s actually what we had initially bonded over when we were at college together. When I got that email saying the job was mine he was so excited for me, and I was thrilled. It’s what I’d been working towards for so long!

But as things set in for him, and he realised I would be away for weeks and weeks, I could tell something changed. It was like he was faking being happy for me. The proposal never came, I suppose maybe because I was going to be away for days like valentines and both our birthdays, maybe he just couldn’t find the right time? Either that or he didn’t want to be engaged to someone who was hardly around?

He drove me to the airport, and no matter how sad I could see he was feeling, I couldn’t stop my excitement as I jetted off to another country to begin my work! I suppose that didn’t help either, him seeing how pumped I was and not being all tearful and sad to be leaving him. But I couldn’t help it, and I was sad, I just didn’t want to make our parting more upsetting for myself or for him.

The job kept me busy. Like super busy. But I did manage to come home every now and then, to tell him about all the amazing things I’d seen and done, do date nights snuggled up on the couch with our kitties Nemo (4M) and Milo (4M) but something was just… off??

And him being off, not being as affectionate and loving as he used to be, is what drew me to my coworker.

The final nail in the coffin was my trip home during summer last year. My bf and I pretty much argued the entire time, just over little tiny things, until suddenly, he just exploded. He berated me over the fact that I was never home. That he was the one stuck there looking after the cats, living a normal life while I was living my dream and flying around the world with my team.

It hurt, and I’m gonna be honest with you, I said some things I wish I could take back. Mainly along the lines of ‘it’s not my fault you weren’t able to make something of your life like I was.’

I regret saying that. I know that he struggled after college. It was a low blow. But I was angry, because I was living my dream, the dream we had bonded over that night in the sports bar just off campus when we met. He should be happy for me, right?

Well, after I left at the end of summer on a particularly sour note, I was ready to be done with him. I thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt and hope he’d gotten it all out of his system and that when I returned during a two week break in October, things would be better.

We hardly talked. September meant no FaceTimes, hardly any texts, no likes on my Instagram posts, nothing. Zilch. Nada. I tried, god knows I did. Scrolling through our WhatsApp chat makes me look so fucking desperate but I wasn’t ready to give up.

One day, after another period of being totally ignored, my coworker, who I shall call C, noticed I was upset. Before now I hadn’t spent much time with C as he was far more high profile than me. I worked in the wings but he was the star of the show.

I didn’t mean to trauma dump on him, but all these feelings just kinda came spilling out. I ended up crying on him and getting his shirt all covered in snot. It was gross, I apologised, he said not to worry about it.

The thing about C is, is that he’s beautiful. I know you don’t often see the word beautiful being used to describe a man, but he is. He’s gorgeous. Like don’t get me wrong, my bf is hot too, but C? Damn.

He was so kind to me, he listened, he wiped away my tears, cheered me up, and made me feel better again.

Don’t get me wrong, I would never cheat. I couldn’t. One of my best friends from college had her boyfriend of five years cheat on her and she was heartbroken. I still loved my boyfriend, I couldn’t do that to him. Besides, C himself already had a girlfriend. So anything between me and him was completely off the table.

But that didn’t stop me from catching feelings for C. There’s nothing cheaty about catching feelings, right? Especially when your bf is ghosting you the way mine was.

But C and I became good friends over the time we spent together throughout September after the whole snotty crying situation. He was a good friend, and it was nice to have someone in your corner when all of your normal best friends are halfway across the world.

When I went home in October, I arrived at my bf and I’s flat to find him sat in the lounge, surrounded by packed boxes and suitcases. He told me it was over.

Naturally I cried, I was hoping we’d have a chance to smooth things out, especially over Christmas when I’d have a whole two months to spend at home before I had to be back at work.

My bf showed me a picture on his phone, it must have been from some night out I can hardly remember after a good weekend’s work. And there I was with C. We were just dancing, but his hand was on my waist. Man we must have been so hammered.

My bf assumed I had a thing for him, which I did, but I would never have acted on. But I told him I didn’t, that we were just good friends, which wasn’t a lie. We were good friends, I just happened to fancy the pants off C but only in secret.

He wouldn’t listen to me, told me the whole long distance thing wasn’t working and that I either had to quit my job, or we would have to break up.

I couldn’t quit. I loved my job too much. It was exactly what I had dreamed of since I was a child. I told him that, and he said it was over.

He said he’d look after the cats until I found a new stable home someplace, and that he’d let me store my things in the spare room, but I didn’t live here anymore.

I left for my parents that night, in tears, and texted C. I told him what had happened, and he said I should get out, go visit him at home and keep my mind off of things before we had to travel again.

I knew I shouldn’t have. That it just made C and I’s relationship look even more suspicious. But I was upset, and angry. Besides, I wasn’t the only one at fault. If my bf had just replied to my texts more, and been willing to work harder on the long distance thing, I think we’d still be together now.

But I went to see C. And we had a great week. We hung out, played video games, got drunk, it was great. Of course his girlfriend stopped by every day for a few hours at least, and sometimes I’d be left alone in his apartment while they went for dinner and stuff. And that was when I cried.

I felt guilty for something that was beyond my control. I felt angry because, if my boyfriend had just been more willing to make it work, I wouldn’t have gone crying to C and I wouldn’t have ended up with this big fat crush on him.

By the time it was time to return home, I went and moved all my stuff out of my now ex-bf’s apartment and took the cats to my parents. I spent Christmas with them, and despite how much it hurt being alone surrounded by my family who were all coupled up, I had my work in 2023 to get me through.

But I also had C. We texted, a lot, after the breakup. I think he wanted to make sure I was okay? That I wasn’t feeling down.

But eventually it was my turn to check in on him, as C and his gf broke up. We spent a lot of time on FaceTime that week, being a pair of sad single losers drinking red wine and talking shit. He was my friend, and I cared about him a lot.

Come New Year’s Eve, I was invited to see in 2023 with my closest friends at a party one of them was hosting. And it was there I saw my ex-bf for the first time since I moved out.

I expected he would be there, after all, we had a lot of the same friends. But I was prepared for it. I’d cried my tears out, I’d gotten out all of my frustrations, and so when he asked me out on the balcony for a chat, I said ‘sure, why not?’

Call it a bad idea, call me foolish, but we ended up making out up there. We kissed at midnight that night, and promised to give it all another go. He said he wouldn’t get jealous of me and my job, and I said I’d try to come home more and spend more time with him.

The first week of January, I moved my stuff back into our apartment, brought the cats back from my parents, and we rekindled our relationship. Despite all the pain I went through, I still loved him. And he still loved me.

But then C texted, asked if I wanted to fly over and hang out for a weekend. My bf wasn’t too happy with the idea. He was still convinced I had a thing for C, despite me telling him most certainly that I didn’t. But I did still have a thing for C.

Thing were frosty between me and my bf for a few days, and as I prepared to return to work, he got increasingly more agitated. But eventually, when it came time for me to leave, he cried. I cried and hugged him as we parted at the airport. I promised I would call and text every day, and that I wouldn’t ignore him in favour of work.

I loved my boyfriend, I really did. But then I saw C again. And now I don’t know what to do.

I love both of them, so much, and I don’t know what I want anymore. Is it selfish of me to stay with my bf? Would it be stupid for me to call it quits with him and risk things with C even if he doesn’t feel the same? I’m just stuck in a rut and my emotions are going crazy. Help!

TLDR: my boyfriend thinks I’m in love with my coworker, I say I’m not, but after a shaky period with my bf, I fell for my coworker. Now I don’t know what to do! Help?

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Reindeerbuddy27 • 4d ago

I think your boyfriend sounds like a dick. It was his fault for ghosting you! If he hadn’t have reacted the way he did over summer you would have never bonded with your coworker and caught feelings. IMO you’d be better off breaking up with him and either being single or getting with C, though I’d give him some time to get over his own ex-gf before you try anything!

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Throwaway27936 • 4d ago

Yeah, it kinda was his fault I caught feelings in the first place, you’re right. I wouldn’t say he was a dick, he just missed me I guess and his sadness turned into anger the longer I was away and it just all exploded. Even so, we’re back together and on good terms, and I still love him. I don’t think I could break up with him without a valid reason to do so?

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ReindeerBuddy27 • 3d ago

I get that you don’t want to lose him, but if you’re not fully invested in the relationship with him and want to explore the possibility of having something with C, I think breaking up with your bf would be the fairest thing to do.

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Throwaway27936 • 3d ago

Hmm… maybe you’re right. I need some time to think about it. Thanks for the advice! I really appreciate it! ♥︎

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Pedr0Pascal14 • 4d ago

Would you maybe be able to ask your bf about opening your relationship? Allowing you to pursue things with C to see where they lead while also keeping your bf?

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Throwaway27936 • 4d ago

Definitely not. He’s all about monogamy, and I am too. If I suddenly asked about opening the relationship he’d be even more suspicious of me and my reasons for asking.

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Demeter779 • 3d ago

Could you reduce the amount of time spent at work maybe? Like going part time so you’re only away for six months out of the year?

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Throwaway27936 • 3d ago

Sadly it’s not possible. My job is kinda all or nothing. If I asked about reducing my hours they’d laugh in my face and fire me. There’s plenty of people who would die for a chance to fill my role so I wouldn’t be missed.

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Demeter779 • 3d ago

That sucks. I would say tho, without being mean, it seems like your job is your number one priority and not your bf. While there’s nothing wrong with that, I think that’s where the problem lies. Especially if before you took the job he was always your number one! It’s probably been hard for him to adjust! I hate to say it, but I don’t think you two are meant to be and these problems are only gonna get worse this year with you being away. This situation really sucks for you OP, I’m sorry.

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LionVerstappen33 • 2d ago

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Hon3ybadg3r • 2d ago

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MonacoBaby • 2d ago

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r/relationship_advice • 6hr ago

posted by Throwaway27936

UPDATE: My (25F) boyfriend (27M) thinks I have a thing for one of my coworkers (25M). The worst thing about it is… I do.

Okay, ya got me.

Considering my life has already been put under extreme scrutiny from random strangers on the internet to literal news publications, I figured it couldn’t get any worse than it already has and so I’d post an update here.

I wanna start out by saying I am stupid. I made my post thinking I was fully anonymous, the account was a throwaway with no real ties to my irl identity and I tried as hard as I could to conceal the true nature of my work, but you F1 girlies are far too intelligent and I realise that now.

In hindsight I shouldn’t have deleted those comments, because it did just make me look more suspicious. If I’d have left them, maybe even replied to them and said ‘yes I work in F1 but can we please keep it on the dl as I don’t want anyone finding out who I am’ then right now I wouldn’t be sat in my childhood bedroom crying with a cat on my knee typing out this post.

I also wanna say that I hold no grudges with Twitter user LionVerstappen_ I mean, they’re far too clever for their own good, and they terrify me, but I don’t hate them, and all the hate that they’re getting is unjustified and wrong. It was my fault for posting on the internet thinking I’d be safe. That’s on me, not them, so please do leave them alone.

Since that post was made, a lot has changed. Obviously I had already returned to work, I was in the factory at Maranello working on some technical shit I won’t bore you with and getting ready for the livery reveal on the 14th and fine tuning for next season.

I had seen LionVerstappen_ and Hon3ybadg3r’s comments and deleted them as soon as I did. I didn’t fancy answering them, and thought ‘shit, this is getting a little dicey’ and disabled commenting on my post. I thought that would be the end of that, I had some good advice given before that, and I would mull it over before I next saw my boyfriend.

Suddenly, my phone just started fucking blowing up. I had a bunch of random people request to follow me on Instagram, and when I say a bunch, I mean a fuck load. Like 20k follow requests in the space of a few hours. Immediately I was like ‘what the fuck?’ Assuming I’d been hacked or something. I had like 200 followers before that, and I knew all of them in some capacity, and I hadn’t just become some internet celebrity (not on purpose at least) so what was going on?

That’s when I got a message from my friend back home. She’s an F1 fan and is pretty active on F1twt which is how she saw the posts. She sent me a link to the original tweet from LionVerstappen_ as well as to DeuxMoi’s Instagram stories. I was shocked, I really didn’t know how to react.

I couldn’t believe that my silly little Reddit post had actually been figured out, especially after I’d deleted those comments, I thought it was the end. I debated taking down the Reddit post, but really, what was that gonna do? There were already screenshots all over Twitter so it wouldn’t make a difference.

This all happened during my lunch break, and after lunch, I was called into my boss’ office. It seems the Ferrari PR department had also seen the tweets and the speculation, and they wanted to talk to me about it.

I burst into tears. My personal life was all over the internet, my boyfriend had probably seen it all and knew how I felt and that I’d been lying to him about my feelings. I knew it was only a matter of time before he called me and ended things with me again.

Thankfully, the PR team were nice to me. They said they’d handle it, and most importantly, that my job was safe. It was nothing to do with my capabilities as an engineer, after all, so I suppose it made sense. What they did do, however, is give me the week off to sort my life out.

I left the factory sniffling like a baby, packed my shit and got on a plane home. I called my parents to pick me up from the airport, and asked them to take my stuff back to their place but to drop me at the apartment my bf and I shared.

When I entered the flat I had to brace myself. I knew it wasn’t gonna be pretty. My bf was sat on the sofa, surrounded by packed bags and boxes again. Deja vu anyone?

He didn’t yell, or threaten me, or call me names like I thought he would. No, he stood up, and hugged me. And I started crying like a baby. Full on body shaking sobs.

I told him I was sorry, that I loved him, but I understood. He said it was okay.

We sat down together surrounded by the boxes of my things, he made me a coffee, and we talked. It was refreshing to talk to him considering last time he forced me out of the house without a word.

I told him everything, from start to finish. About how neglected and sad I felt after the summer break, how his ghosting was what led me to Charles, how I still really loved him but just didn’t know what I wanted, and how scary it was to have my private life all over the internet like that.

He was sympathetic, but ultimately he said that we just didn’t work together. He wished me luck, I took the cats, got in a taxi, and went home.

Funnily enough, I wasn’t really upset about the whole relationship ending. Mainly because I was just so relieved my ex was handling the whole situation so well. I’ll miss him terribly, he was more than just my boyfriend but he was my best friend too (I am aware of how cliche that sounds).

We had bonded over F1 all those years ago. I was cheering for Sebastian Vettel and he was cheering for Lewis Hamilton while watching a race in a sports bar. We ended up having an argument over who’s driver was better which after a few drinks evolved into us making out in the smoking area. That night I’d told him my dream, to be an engineer, to work for Ferrari. He believed in me, and it’s due to his belief that I managed to get my job. It’s a shame that achieving my dream was the thing that eventually tore us apart.

But anyway, now I’m at home. My parents are out collecting all my things from my ex’s flat right now, and I’ve finally calmed down enough to start typing this out. Mainly because Nemo has decided to curl up in my lap and have a big nap.

Consider my overdue cat tax paid:

When I settled in my room, Charles called me. I nearly didn’t answer it, but I did.

For the sake of his privacy, I’m not going to tell you all of what was said. But I can say that he doesn’t hate me, and if anything, he feels so bad for the situation I ended up in.

I suppose he knows what it’s like to have all that speculation around your personal life 24/7 and can empathise more than most of the people in my life.

I will also say, that we are just friends! That’s all. This isn’t a hallmark movie. He hasn’t hopped on his private jet, flown all the way to my home in bumblefuck nowhere to declare his love for me, and we all live happily ever after.

Real life is a lot more complicated than that. And a lot shittier and a lot more depressing.

I’m going back to Maranello tomorrow morning. I know they gave me the week off, but I’m going to spend some time in the area, maybe even look at getting a proper rental and moving out there full time. I have nothing really to tie me to my home anymore, not really (and yes I will bring the cats with me and pay a cat sitter!)

So yeah, this is my update. You don’t need to worry about me, I’m fine now, I think! Moving onwards and upwards. One day this will be a funny story I’ll look back on. It isn’t funny now, but it will be.

I do ask, however, that everyone reading this post thinks before they post. I’m a real person, and thanks to all this drama my life is fucked up and I’m now Googling how to emigrate to Italy.

Before you press that button, just consider how it will affect that person, and if it’s really worth it. Sometimes it is, I’ll grant you. But we’re all real people. Those of us in the factories, the TPs, the drivers, everyone. And we have a right to respect and privacy just as any ordinary person does. Think before you post.

I’m signing off now. It’s been a wild ride. Comments will be off, no doubt you’ll be making comments and dissecting my every word on Twitter anyways but at least I don’t have to see em.

I likely won’t update this again.

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—

March 5th 2023

No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t quite acclimate yourself to the dry heat of Bahrain. Your hair clung to your neck with sweat, and your team polo was already sodden and damp.

You weren’t quite sure if it was just the heat, or the nerves getting to you as the cars begun their formation lap. You fidgeted with the pen in your hand, your eyes firmly transfixed on the screen in front of you as you catch a glimpse of red zooming down the straight.

Lucky for you, things had died down. As the season began, people had the racing to focus on, and your silly little Reddit post had been almost forgotten. You were able to blend into the background, just as you had done that previous year. You were just another engineer hidden amongst a sea of red shirts, and it was nice.

You knew, however, that this peace would be short lived. It was only a matter of time before you were all over social media again, not as the mystery Reddit user anymore, but as Charles Leclerc’s new girlfriend.

You didn’t lie in your post, the two of you hadn’t gotten together on that fateful day. You were just friends. That was until February 14th.

The day of the car reveal, which also happened to coincide with Valentine’s Day. You didn’t mind, of course, after all, you had no plans. You were quite happy to have something else going on to distract you from your tragic love life.

Charles, however, had made plans. After the reveal you went back to his hotel room, where he had organised a fancy dinner with candles and roses. He asked you out then and there, away from the prying eyes of fans or paparazzi.

To you, it was the most romantic gesture anyone could ever make. It was clear he had thought of you, keeping the moment as private as possible to protect you.

He, of course, knew how you felt about him. He didn’t have to worry, he knew you’d say yes. And you did.

You spent the evening drinking wine, chatting, just as you had always done. But one thing was different - after dessert he kissed you.

The kiss was sweet, and it wasn’t just because of the tiramisu he had eaten.

He didn’t want to rush you, he knew that you were still healing from your trauma. But you weren’t so coy.

February 14th marked the first time you had kissed Charles Leclerc, but it also marked the first time the two of you made love.

Since that day, the two of you had kept your relationship a secret. You cooked for one another, or ordered takeout, watched movies, cuddled with the cats, and just enjoyed each other’s company.

It was exactly what you had wanted. A nice, private relationship with the man you had fallen so deeply in love with.

But there was a small niggling feeling in the back of your mind that it was all about to change. If he won this race, you wouldn’t be able to control yourself. You wouldn’t be able to stop the urge to throw yourself into his arms, to kiss him all over, to tell him just how proud you are.

A race winner always deserves a kiss, right?

You chew on your nail as the final cars pull into position, ready for lights out.

Charles had taken pole position that previous day, but you had managed to save your celebrations for later, sneaking over to his hotel room when no one was around and promptly sneaking out early this morning to avoid suspicion.

Lights out - Charles’ reactions are lightning. He manages to keep away from the rest of the grid, allowing the cars behind him to battle for P2.

The Ferrari garage is hopeful, but they know better than to cheer before the race is won. Too many bittersweet moments from the previous season haunted each and every one of them.

All was well, Charles was set for the first win of the season, until a collision at the back of the pack meant that the safety car reared its ugly head.

Max was getting closer and closer to the back of Charles’ car. They weaved behind the safety car, getting ready, preparing for the moment that it would leave the track.

As the car enters the pit lane, the power was in Charles’ hands. He needed to make a good move, surprise Max, get him on the back foot and out of sight.

There were only two laps left. Two laps to victory. Max just had to stay back, and Charles had to race like he’d never raced before.

You chew on your nails anxiously as Charles takes each and every corner, hitting the apex with precision. All that time in the simulator was definitely paying off.

They cross the line for the final lap, Charles was a car’s length ahead, but Max too was pushing hard. He wanted that first win just as much as Charles did. But you told yourself mentally that he wasn’t going to get it. This was Charles’ race, and he was going to stand on that top step of the podium.

The seconds felt like hours. You make eye contact with Vasseur across the garage and he gives you a small smile. A reassuring one, and you smile back. It probably looked more like a grimace but it was the best you could muster.

The final corner passes with ease, and it looks like Charles has hung onto his win. Max is practically driving alongside him as they cross the finish line. No one cheers.

It’s a waiting game, waiting for the photo to see who had crossed the line first.

You bury your head in your hands, unable to think, talk, move or see until the entire garage erupts into cheers.

He had done it! Charles had won the race!

Tears begin to fall from your eyes as you finally look up. You were sobbing, you couldn’t help it. He’d won.

You give every mechanic you see a pat on the back as you walk over to Vasseur. He was smiling brightly at you. He had so much faith in Charles, he loved him like a son.

He embraces you tightly as you cry onto his shoulder, and he whispers ever so quietly “go see him. See your love.”

You didn’t even care to ask how he was able to see right through the two of you. You just pulled away and nodded as you run out of the garage towards parc ferme alongside a sea of red suits and shirts.

You push your way to the front, definitely sure that your tear stained face would be onscreen for the world to see, but you didn’t care. The world had seen worse of you, after all.

When Charles takes off his helmet, your heart skips a beat. He was beautiful, every day he was beautiful. Even when he was still sweaty and breathing heavy from the adrenaline of the race, his face marked with balaclava lines.

He makes a beeline for you, pulling you in for a hug the way friends would hug one another.

“Kiss me.” You say.

“Are you sure, mon amour?” He whispers, and you nod.

Charles captures your lips in a kiss reminiscent of your very first just a few days ago. The cameras were definitely on you, but you didn’t care.

No doubt social media would be going crazy over the whole thing, but it was nothing new to you. At least this time you weren’t just in love with your coworker, but he was in love with you too.

Whatever the internet may have to throw at you, this time, you didn’t have to handle it alone.

—

~ THE END ~

[ifhymona]

٭* Not Too Late *٭

Chapter 2 | chino moreno x reader

Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 3 | AO3: @romantic_daydream

1.1k words

it’s been around a month ever since i started working with the deftones. not much has happened this past month, just them teaching me the ropes. although i didn’t have a lot of experience, they were very patient with me and helped me get the hang of booking venues and making advertisements for them and etc. they were right about the chemistry between us. i feel like i could really be myself around them as if we have known each other our whole lives.

their album adrenaline has been making good money lately so my pay is pretty good so far. the only con is chino. he’s been a dick to me since day one. and it’s only because of high school drama.

yup, you heard it. high school drama. me and chino had first met in middle school. i was a 7th grader and he was an 8th grader. he started hanging out with my older brother and he would come over almost all the time. since he was always with my brother, i started hanging out with them and got closer with him too.

there were always some type of feelings i had towards chino but nothing major. sometimes, it was just the two of us hanging out without my brother. we would have fun with each other and he knew that. slowly after time went by, my feelings for him started to grow even heavier. that was until my sophomore year. he started dating a very insufferable girl named cassandra but he just saw what he wanted to see in her.

i knew something was wrong with her. i didn’t know what but she just seemed off. it might sound like i was jealous but never doubt a girl’s intuition. keep in mind, this was chino’s first girlfriend. he was head over heels for her. but i could tell she didn’t feel the same. i never seen them have a full on conversation with each other and she never looked like she was enjoying herself around him. it was the worst seeing that since chino was my best friend and he meant a lot to me. he deserved to be with somebody who treated him as an equal. the day i tried to tell chino, it didn’t go well.

i was over at his house playing the nintendo with him. it was the perfect time to bring it up.

“camillo, i’m gonna say something that might come off the wrong way but it’s because i care.”

“okay? i doubt anything will make me mad at you.” he chuckled.

“i don’t think you should go out with cassandra anymore.”

he paused the game and he turned to me with the biggest stink face ever. “what did you say?”

“i know that you love her camillo but i can just tell she’s not into you. i know that’s fucked up to say but-“

he started yelling at me. “what do you know about cassandra? you two aren’t close!”

“yeah but it’s not hard to see camillo. i just don’t want you getting hurt.”

he got up from the floor. “if you were my friend, you would support me no matter what i do with my life! don’t be mad at me because i’m finally getting some action! it’s not my fault that nobody likes you! don’t try and backstab me because I have what you want!”

“oh yeah? what is that camillo?” i shouted at him.

“i’m not a nobody!”

i could feel the tears coming up to my eyes. i will never forget those words. that was what my parents told me at my most vulnerable and he knew how much they affected me.

i ran out of his house before i could start fully crying. i couldn’t let him see me grow weak.

a week later, he found her cheating with a college dude.

so not only had he lost his so called “girlfriend”, he lost one of his best friends too and i hoped that would’ve sat with him. but unfortunately it didn’t. because he still held that grudge against me. although we had stopped talking in general, i could still feel a coldness he held towards me. i couldn’t have given a single shit though. if thats how he wanted to treat his best friend then fine.

shocking for him to still be a dick to me all these years later though. even though all i did was try and be a friend. whatever. the past is the past.

so although things were going great with the rest of the band, chino still refuses to talk to me. i was tired of feeling like the villain when he knows that i did absolutely nothing wrong. so i decided to talk to him.

it was band practice. they said they wanted me there for every practice in case something went wrong and they needed an errand girl. so i was pretty much spending most of my time with them now.

“alright guys let’s take 5.” chino told the rest of the band. as everybody scattered, i tapped chino’s shoulder.

“chino, can we talk?” he looked at me. “outside?” he rolled his eyes but nodded. we both went outside into the parking lot behind the building. i looked around to make sure no one was near.

“what’s your problem with me?” i asked.

“excuse me?”

“you heard me. i said what is your problem with me?” i stared at him.

“my problem? my problem is that you’re a backstabber.”

“oh my god are you still running along with that? i just tried to warn you!”

“no not that! despite even after you heard she cheated on me, you had never called! never came over and never asked how i was doing!”

i stared at him in disbelief. “are you actually fucking kidding me right now? please tell me you’re joking?” i mentally prepared my self for what i was about to say. “camillo you were my best friend. you’re only mad at me because i was right! i’m not your mommy, i didn’t and still don’t owe you anything! are you forgetting about the fact that you held my insecurities against me?! reminding me that i’m a nobody! you think i didn’t know that already?” he looked down. “i tried to be your best friend camillo! but you didn’t even try to be mine! you disrespected me like it wasn’t even your first time! you never not once cared about my opinion! did you even notice that i was on the verge of crying when you told me those things?” he didn’t respond. “did you!?”

“no.” he mumbled, looking down at his shoes. i stared at him. i could feel the tears coming up so i calmed myself down before i continued.

“you are the most selfish person i know and i want nothing to do with you.” i said trying to hurt him. “if you don’t want me around, then i quit.” he looked up at me in disbelief. but before he could say anything, i walked away.

a/n: i hope you guys like this chapter ! please leave a like, if you did ! that would be much appreciated. chapter three will be out in a few days ! :) love of love <3

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

I have more thoughts about Chalice of the Gods

When I was getting through the first hundred pages or so I was a little :/ prob because I’m getting back into the books over a decade later and I had Expectations that I didn’t have as a kid. You could have thrown anything at me and I would have been DELIGHTED just to hear more of Percy’s story. I think the nostalgia factor was actually kind of a negative for me because I kept getting mad at the modern references and how low the stakes seemed to be. I did see a post about how it was good that Rick kept the books at whatever time he wrote them (in terms of references) because it’s literally just like the olympians growing and modernizing. You can’t stay stuck in the past. And I think keeping that perspective in mind will make rereads a lot more fun.

The low stakes seemed to bother me just because we’re so used to seeing Percy in horrible world ending situations and we just got out of HOO. But he really did deserve a break and it was helpful with developing his characterization

I didn’t expect the books to make me feel so emotional! I’ve been out of the horrifying college admissions process for a while now. But the questions he was wrestling with were very universal. At this point he’s accepted that the gods are what they are. There’s not much he can do to change them. He has to focus on himself and his future. And I am a little disappointed that his goals all seem to be around Annabeth. Like I love them but also he’s going to new Rome JUST for her it seems. But also when I was in high school I decided to go to college because that’s what Everyone Does right. I didn’t know trade school was an option. Feeling a little bit like ur life is on a set path and your choices are controlled by other people a bit was at least part of my high school experience. But also from a story perspective it does make sense that he wants to stick with Annabeth! They’ve been through a ridiculous amount together.

Sally having a kid and the emotions that it brought up was also a good way to show that transitional period between leaving home and starting a new life. Your parents are going to move on and do their own thing and their lives won’t revolve around you anymore. Also in general the whole Paul/sally/percy/annabeth dynamic was fucking amazing. The way Paul and sally accepted Annabeth into their lives and how happy they all are is what she fucking deserves!!

I think the end is what really got me. Some of it felt really silly and I did absolutely roll my eyes when Percy told the god he loved him and hugged him. But also him ACCEPTING that he would likely get old was so cathartic. This is a boy who was supposed to die at 16. And barely escaped death again after having his memories wiped and falling into fucking Tartarus. Hes never gotten a break and hes said, in multiple books, that he expects to die very young. This is the first time he says ‘wait I might survive this. I might get old and if I do it’ll be by Annabeth and Grover’s side.’ Percy fucking Jackson who has been the subject of COUNTLESS prophecies, who is reminded time and time again that he isn’t supposed to exist, even by people that he loves, (that was a lil mean of u in the intro Poseidon) CHOOSES to accept that he might get old. Like of course this boy doesn’t have much of a plan for his life yet other than ?? Follow Annabeth?? When has he gotten a chance to think about it!

This is something I did project upon a bit because I didn’t except to live to 18! Or 20! Or 22! And it’s only now at 24 that I’m starting to Accept that I might be here a little longer than I expected and now I have to Plan Accordingly. Like I have to learn these stupid life skills and figure out what I Want from my life now. And unlike Percy, I’m a little angry about it lol because I never expected to have this problem!! But, I too, am slowly accepting that time on earth is a gift or whatever. At the very least I’m stuck here for the foreseeable future so I might as well use it to learn who I am. I GUESS. In my life, Death has always been this ever-present choice I could take if things got a little too tough and I don’t know if that door will ever fully close but I have been dragged away from it kicking and screaming so. Might as well stick around. I’m still a little bitter about it honestly but I’ll get over it. I have to learn how to COOK guys. How fucked up is that. To care about the mundane all of a sudden??

Anyways. I doubt that’s the metaphor Rick was going for, it was probably more of a ‘your childhood ends! You’re gonna get older and that’s a good thing’ instead of a ‘one day you might not have killed yourself and you’ll realize that you’re actually stuck living this life and you gotta learn to fucking deal with it.’

Ok I could go on for hours so this is the last thing. Percy’s conversation with Poseidon, about how small waves are the ones that matter the most, REALLY resonated with me. Like I think I teared up at two parts of this book, the old age part and the conversation with between them at the end. It’s really easy to convince yourself that the way you alter your life is through Sweeping All-Consuming Change where you move to a different continent and begin anew. Unfortunately, through bitter experience, I’ve learned that’s not how things fucking work. Changing your surroundings does lead to new experiences but it doesn’t make ur problems go away! I moved halfway across the state and got what I genuinely believe is the best job on earth and I. Still have the same issues?? And then I thought ok maybe I was wrong this Wasn’t the best job I just need to find one that’s Better but that’s. Not how things work.

This is getting away from me but basically what I’m trying to say is u can make grand changes and it might fix u for a little while but unfortunately you have to put in the work and do the stupid boring mundane things like go on walks and journal and exercise and do things that scare the fuck out of u to actually change and grow and it’s so goddamn annoying. I should be able to become a different person just by being somewhere else but I can’t.

Wait I’m supposed to be relating this to Percy Jackson. So Percy can go on these life altering world defining quests right. And make all the right choices. But who he is at his core is defined by the choices that he makes when the stakes aren’t that high. When it would be So Easy to walk away from Ganymede and go live his life. And I know some people didn’t like that Poseidon was like ‘this is when I knew you were a hero’ of fucking COURSE he knows Percy has been this hero his whole life. But he’s also this person when there isn’t some prophecy, when he doesn’t have to be, when it’s just a mild inconvenience. It’s easy to talk about changing the world. It’s harder to go out there and take those little baby steps that don’t feel like they matter all that much. He has actually changed the world and just not talked about it but hopefully u get what I’m saying. I just liked that thing about small waves being able to sweep you off your feet when you didn’t expect it ok!! Most change is incremental!!

Ok that’s it. Loved Chalice, will probably enjoy it more on a reread and it resonated with me in ways I didn’t expect.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey sex witch, so i really like the idea of having sex but the very few times i ever got close to actually having it, i panicked. like couldn’t even do it. and i really, REALLY want to lose my virginity (i’ll be 26 this year ffs) but as much as i like masturbating and fantasizing about sex, the reality of it scares the shit outta me.

i should also tell you i’m a bisexual cis woman who has some SERIOUS body image and self-esteem issues. i’m what one could consider fat and i believe in fat liberation but at the same time as many fat activists i follow on insta or whatever i can’t help but feel disgusting about my weight. and whenever someone is explicitly sexually attracted to me i can’t help but wonder if i’m their fetish.

i also have a best friend who is really sweet and supportive of me but when i hear her stories about having sex on prom night and having multiple orgasms with her girlfriend i can’t help but feel inadequate. why didn’t i have sex on prom night, you know? why am i missing out on all of this??

hell, it’s not even just that i’m a virgin- i’ve never even been kissed!!! and i’m going to stop soon because i’m just making myself upset but like…wtf happened??? shouldn’t i have gotten my first kiss in middle school and had sex in high school or college like everyone else??? i know i’m overthinking it but at this point it’s hard not to…

idk this is a lot to put on you so if you don’t even want to answer this i understand. i don’t want to make you uncomfortable. thank you anyway!

hi anon,

so the thing is that I need you, pretty immediately, to stop comparing yourself to other people. it very well may help with your self-image issues, but my concern is first and foremost that it will help deal with this massive inferiority complex you're rocking in regards to sexual experience.

you seem to be under the impression that it's abnormal to be a 26 year old who hasn't had sex or kissed anyone, and I guess I'm wondering why the fuck that matters when it sounds like sex is an extremely scary prospect for you. like idk babe, let's maybe focus on getting to a point where having sex doesn't make you panic before we worry about actually doing it, you know? at the moment, it sounds like sex would just be setting you up for a boatload of trauma.

having said that I guess I'd say that I can't tell you why you've missed out on all of this because, by your own description, you've panicked and been unable to go through with it any time you've gotten to close to having sex. that's probably, sincerely, a good thing; I'm not sure if you're under the impression that just sucking it up and forcing yourself to have sex would have improved your relationship with your sexuality, but I've found generally that's not the case.

(more often, it ends with people struggling to figure out how to regain literally any sense of ownership over their sexuality.)

so idk, let's do some self-reflection here. it sounds like you've opted out any time sex has been an option. why was that? were the partners unsuitable? was the situation not right? or was the idea of sex in and of itself just unbearable? in your mind, what would the ideal sexual encounter actually look like? is there one?

I'm deeply sorry if this sounds unsympathetic, but here's the thing: when someone tells me sex scares the shit out of them, I don't want that person to be having sex! there's no reason to put yourself through that kind of stress! what the fuck!

look: sexual development doesn't happen on any kind of age-related timeline. partnered sex is a thing that should happen when it's something you feel excited for, when you have someone that you like and trust to partner with. if those conditions haven't been met, there's no reason to be having sex. focus on literally anything that is in your control, like finding the things that help you feel more at ease with your body. you know the saying about how no one can love you until you love yourself? often misinterpreted and/or grossly oversimplified, but it seems dubious that you're going to want to actually let anyone have sex with you until your body isn't something you find disgusting, so it does apply.

[emetogirl]

I thought I’d do a throwback to what was, to this day, probably the worst throwing up experience I’ve ever had. I was a freshman in college and had just gotten back to the dorms after thanksgiving break. My family had celebrated the day before, and I made the drive home the next afternoon to get back to school in the early evening. I was hungry after the drive, so I stopped by the dining hall for dinner. Afterwards I settled back into my dorm with a bowl of my favorite ice cream and was watching some Netflix. It was after finishing my ice cream that my stomach suddenly shifted. I went from feeling fine to sick in a matter of seconds. I thought that maybe the ice cream upset my belly and hoped it would go away soon, but over the course of the next few hours the nausea just kept mounting. It was miserable. The nausea slowly shifted from an uncomfortably full feeling in my belly, to a sick twisting feeling, to the full blown I need to puke to feel better.

I grabbed my tiny trash can and lined it with a new bag. The first gags came pretty easily, but my belly wasn’t bringing anything up. I stuck my fingers down my throat, hoping to get my stomach contents coming up quicker so I could have some relief in my belly. I gagged hard, but still nothing. I started panting and my belly was churning hard. After taking in a sudden deep breath, my stomach suddenly squeezed and a thick wave of puke rushed out of my mouth and into the trash can with a splash. I immediately felt better and thought it was a once off thing. Like, all the pressure in my stomach was suddenly gone and the nausea went away, so I was fine, right?

Boy was I wrong

Half an hour later and my tummy is hurting again. It was the same familiar belly ache that told me I needed to throw up. I had gotten a new bag put in the trash can and thrown the bag full of puke away in the dumpster outside my dorm, so I set the bucket between my legs as I sat on the floor of my dorm room. It happened quicker this time. Another rush of puke came up and splattered into the bag, which was quickly followed by a deep, wet burp and another wave. It was super thick and chunky and burned my throat coming up. I remember barely getting any breaths in between these waves of gagging and throwing up. Once again, I tied up the plastic bag full of puke and threw it away. At this point I knew I was super super fucked. I had thrown up a lot at this point and was feeling feverish and dehydrated. My head hurt and the room was spinning. I decided to move to the communal girls bathroom for the rest of the night to be able to be close to the toilet when I had to puke and so I didn’t have to keep throwing up into he bag in my room.

About an hour after moving in there some girls who had definitely been partying came in to redo their makeup. I heard one of them say, “who’s that? Do you think she’s okay?” To which I replied “i’m alright, but I think I got dining hall food poisoning.” They told me I should sue and get free tuition, and I laughed a little before my stomach slammed into my ribs again and I was gagging up another mouthful of dinner. They told me to feel better soon and left the bathroom to go back to whatever room they came from. The rest of the night is a blur. I started to realize that I was getting really dehydrated, but at the same point realized that I was too weak to get up and get water from my room (and too sick to be able to keep it down). I texted my roommate, who was at work, letting her know I was sick. She replied that she got off at 1am but would get to me as soon as she could. At this point everything is starting to blur together. My heart is pounding constantly, my ears ringing, and everything is spinning. I don’t recall ever feeling so sick in my entire life. I’m sitting up only when I have to puke and then immediately slumping back down. I started fading in an out of consciousness and barely register anything around me. It was probably around 12:30 at night when the RA’s were doing their nightly rounds, and had they not thought to check the bathrooms, I might not have been found by someone until the morning. As I’m laying curled up on the bathroom floor, I hear the doors creak open and two male voices talking to each other, but it sounds like I’m underwater. I immediately hear one of them say, “oh, SHIT!” I was trying to open my eyes but I felt so weak that they were just fluttering, and when one of the boys asks me what happened, all I can get out is “call an ambulance.” I hear one of them leave to make the call and the other kneels down beside me and puts his hand on my forehead. He asks if I’ve been drinking, and I shake my head no. I then hear the other RA come back inside the girls bathroom and announce that EMS is on their way. I feel the familiar sensation of my belly twisting again, and say, “I’m gonna throw up again,” which probably came out more like “m’gonna throw up ‘gain” to which the boy closest to me responded, “do you need me to help prop you up?” Which in hindsight is very caring and responsible but in the moment all I could think of was “if anyone touches me right now I will die” and so I somehow mustered the last ounce of strength my body possessed to sit up and hunch back over the toilet for a final couple mouthfuls to come up. I spit a few times and start to slip back down, but find myself suddenly being held up by two strong arms. The room is quickly filled with the voices of several more people and I realize thank fuck, actual medical professionals have finally arrived and I’m no longer in the hands of two very terrified college boys. I feel someone slip a thermometer in my mouth and I gag around it but they keep it in my mouth until it beeps. And then I am being lifted up and onto a gurney which brings me to an ambulance that arrives at the hospital a few short minutes later.

At the hospital, I get some fluids and antiemetics and get all fixed up. I remember there being a point at one time that I literally pass out on the hospital bathroom floor after puking and they have to find another nurse to lift me up off the ground and carry me back to my hospital bed. It was a terrible time and, apart from the doctors and nurses there to help me, I was mostly alone. But I got through it, Norovirus be damned! Later in college my friends gave me a stuffed animal norovirus plush to reminisce on those lovely, lovely times.

Anyways, this post was inspired by a convo I had with a friend who reminded me that IT IS NOROVIRUS SEASON. Fun fact! Hand sanitizer does not kill norovirus so you HAVE to wash your hands with soap and warm water for at least 20 seconds. Wash your hands before meals, before and after touching your mouth or face, and after having contact with others!! This has been a PSA from Ro, who threw up in her dorm bathroom so many times she should have gotten a reward for it💕✨

[searenbound]

Thinking about stepbrother Touya again.

About how he tries to convince himself this is still just a little game to him. That his doll is just that, a doll a fun little toy to use until he gets bored.

Unfortunately for him, he’s developed feelings for her. Possessive ones sure, but still feelings he can’t ignore.

So when she starts pulling away from him and wising up that something is fundamentally wrong about this situation, and for the first time in a while he experiences panic. He refuses to accept it though, if she wanted out than good riddance

It started with new friends she’s made in that new college she started in. That was fine at first. She would only spend a few hours with them and come back to him afterwards.

But then they started inviting her out and he didn’t even get the chance to talk her out of it so she can stay in his room that night instead.

Then she started showing up at the same parties he did and was to worried about what her stupid little friends would think or say if she sneaked off with him to go hook up.

Then other men started getting bold and trying to make a move on her.

Now that pissed him off.

She wants to treat him like an old phase and ice him out, fine! He’ll burn that bridge for her, see how she is when he cuts her off completely. See who cares then.

It barely lasts a week or two before she comes pouting and crying about how he doesn’t like her anymore.

“Oh? So I guess all those times you chose someone else over me wasn’t worse? I haven’t been talking to or fucking anyone else, but I’m the bad guy here? Fucking hypocrite”

“Touya-nii I—”

“Save it, I don’t want to hear about how you didn’t think it would matter or whatever bull—“

“You didn’t correct me. I call you Touya-nii and you’re supposed to scold me for it because you’re just Touya. My Touya”

He doesn’t know how to proceed from here. He’s supposed to have the power in this, and yet here she is, pulling at heart strings he thought he burned off.

He guessed he could bring her to bed and wreck her for anyone else. To reestablish his power over of course. It doesn’t matter that he might have meant it when he said he loved her back when she started babbling about all that mushy stuff

[crow-in-gotham]

BLOG POST NO. 9 - RED HOOD IN MY APARTMENT, HOPE THIS DOESN’T KEEP HAPPENING

Are the Gotham vigilantes okay? Specifically Red Hood? And I don’t mean that in a physical way (although I do wonder how most of them are still alive despite the concerning amount of bodily harm they apparently go through) but in more of a mental way—

I know that the obvious answer is no (wearing spandex and hidden body armor and going around jumping on rooftops to fight villains isn’t exactly something a sane person would do, and plus there’s not a single actual sane person in Gotham anyway) but I still gotta ask.

Now, I live— like— basically in Crime Alley, right? Not really smack-dab in the middle of it (thank fuck) but on the outskirts (do I count that was a win?). So basically, I am still within what people say is Red Hood’s territory (which, you know— thank fuck again). Essentially, what this means is that I get to encounter the vigilantes every once in a while. Not like a whole lot (I don’t see them everyday— or, well, everynight I guess?) but definitely more times than I have ever encountered a hero back when I lived in the Pearl of the Orient Seas (Philippines. I’m talking about the Philippines—).

So, story time: I was walking home, as you do, after my shift at the Gotham City Public Library (for context to those reading this without it, I work there in my spare time). Mr. Gordon (he keeps telling me to call him Jim but my Filipino ancestors would incinerate me so no) was busy with a case so he couldn’t drive me home this time— which, you know, not to worry, it isn’t the first time this has happened anyway, so it’s cool.

So there I am, just going “lalala” to my humble abode. I had managed to get all the way to my block with no incidents. So the walk was going great.

Well, up until I was about 3 buildings away from my apartment and I suddenly got dragged into a dark alleyway by some nutjob wearing a ski mask. Honestly I thought that kind of get-up only appeared in movies or TV shows, but I digress. The dude pulled a gun on me and threatened to shoot if I didn’t give him all my money. So basically your average mugging experience, right?

So I did what any normal human being (read: insane) would do and gave him my wallet. I mean what else was I supposed to do, just beg for my life and cry? I’m way too self-deprecating for that shit, and also I stopped giving a fuck by the third time something like this happened.

Plus, if a mugger or deranged serial killer or one of the fucked up villains of Gotham don’t kill me first, then my degree will finish the job :) (I think I need therapy. But do I really? Nahh)

Any-fucking-way, unfortunately for ski-mask-mcgee over here, he decided to mug one of the types of people that he shouldn’t mug: a broke college student. Like bro, there’s literally nothing in my wallet other than a measly $3 and a lollipop. What the fuck did you expect?

So he takes my $3 (rude) then fucking points the gun at me again and threatens to shoot (that threat’s getting old) if I don’t hand him everything I have. And I’m like— dude wtf? That’s literally everything I have, right there in your hand?? What do I look like, the fucking city bank?

I was starting to get annoyed (and cold because god it was freezing) when suddenly, a shadow just swoops down and lands next to us. Dude in the ski mask panicked and shot at the general direction of whatever the fuck decided to drop by (literally) but then quickly got incapacitated after getting punched in the face by said shadow person.

Then they stepped into the light to zip tie the mugger’s hands together (because handcuffs are so last season) and lo and behold, can you guess who it is? That’s right, it’s the Red Hood! Claps and cheers all around (I was so dead tired that I just deadpanned when I saw who it was).

He asked me if I was alright, yada yada, you know, basic “I just saved you, I hope you’re okay” 101, with a dash of barely managed anger issues. You know, for flavor.

I was about to just turn around and speedwalk to my apartment (because fuck I really wanted a nap) when suddenly I notice something that was marginally concerning.

This guy (Red Hood) was bleeding.

And it was not one of those little trickles— this man had a bullet wound in his abdomen that looked like it was a mini rendition of the fucking Niagra Falls.

So obviously I’m concerned (or I hope I at least looked concerned— I was too tired to know what facial expression to actually make) and I asked him, like, “hey dude, you good?” And this idiot just looks at me, follows my gaze towards his abdomen (how did he not fucking notice) and just shrugged— fucking shrugged— and said, “ ‘Tis but a flesh wound”.

Whether or not I laughed is none of your business.

While I appreciate the Monty Python and the Holy Grail reference (great movie by the way, 100/10), it was definitely not a flesh wound.

So I did what any sane, normal, totally not crazy human being would do and dragged this personification of a wall of muscle towards my apartment. (After calling the police to take the very much knocked out mugger laying on the ground, of course)

I don’t even know how the hell I managed to drag this guy into my apartment because, for 1, he could literally bench press me, and 2, he could snap me in half like a twig, and 3, I am about as muscular as a sea sponge. Meaning to say, I am not muscular or strong whatsoever.

I’m pretty sure Red Hood just let me drag him into his apartment because it looked like I would cry otherwise (and I would have).

Anyway, so that’s the story of how I got the Red Hood into my home, I guess—

It uh, took me about 5 seconds after sitting him down on the couch and grabbing my first aid kit before I realized that I’m a fucking idiot because I don’t have any medical training, and I obviously don’t know how to fucking remove a bullet.

Is this why my mother said that I should take Nursing instead? Well fuck.

I think Red Hood also realized that I am a fucking dumbass because he just stared at me staring at him and fucking laughed.

He laughed.

Fuck I wanna bury myself in a hole and die—

Thankfully though (and also concerningly) Red Hood knows how to remove bullets from himself (wtf dude) and I just helped him disinfect and bandage up his wound (with him instructing me, because again, I am a dumbass).

So that’s the story of how I ended up with the Red Hood on my sofa.

Fucking great. Wonderful. Apparently he decided to take the rest of the night off and just crashed there instead (I definitely did not bribe him to stay by giving him some of my snacks from home— nope, no sir-ie, I have no idea what you’re talking about).

I’m writing this from the comfort of my bedroom while he just sleeps on the sofa outside, in the living room.

Holy fuck I have the Red Hood in my house.

He ate the snacks I gave him and fell asleep while listening to Legally Blonde play on the TV.

What the ever loving fuck is happening in my life.

… I need to go to bed.

Good fucking night.