#and i’m fat…. so i don’t fit their idea of what someone with an eating disorder should look like

[pollenallergie]

:/

[scarybabe]

I was reading your most recent ask discussing the toxicity of some members towards people who started skinny but chose to get fat.

I find it interesting that a community that claims acceptance of all body types becomes toxic when one chooses to change that body type. I definitely think that fatphobia is a large part of the equation there, and this could easily be tested by seeing if people who have been thin their whole lives react as negatively to someone who consciously chose to loose weight. At the same time, I've seen (anectodally, so take with a grain of salt) toxicity from the FA community whenever one of their favorite models decides to lose weight of their own volition. Do you have any idea why that might be? I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

I think that people only like change when that change corresponds with their personal tastes, and disapprove when the change is making us less attractive to them.

When I was petite & known for my inflations and stuffings, I definitely caught heat from a big share of my content consumers because changing my appearance so much diminished my ability to give the crazy before and afters i made myself known for. And at some point in the future whenever I lose weight after hitting my 300+ lb goal, I know people will be upset because they either wanted to see me even bigger or expected me to stay the same size forever.

My point is that people’s tastes and preferences are all over the place and unless you stay exactly the same forever, you’ll always disappoint somebody.

People often forget with weight gain models especially that there is a human connected to all the sexy body fat that y’all adore. You should always put the well-being of the human first, and if someone wants to gain/lose weight for their own happiness or well being you shouldn’t interrogate them or shame them for doing what they need to feel good in their skin.

I also think honesty and transparency is huge - I’ve been very open about my weight gain being a semi temporary thing from the BEGINNING and everyone knows they’ll be getting pregnancy content from me someday in the semi near future❣️ and as great as I usually feel at my current size, not being genetically predisposed to carrying this amount of weight has given me some lower back pains from gaining so fast - basically I know I will have a better experience being pregnant if I’m strong and fit (I’ll remain fat don’t worry, just not quite as fat). I basically plan on lifting weights and eating intuitively until my body finds the size it’s happiest at and I don’t care what the number is as long as I feel capable and strong ❤️ it could mean even just losing like 30 lbs lmao - I’m not concerned with being petite ever again, just losing the back pain and gaining muscle.

All that to say that setting expectations also affects people’s reaction to someone changing their size as well - knowing and expecting it will still make some people upset sure, but at least it won’t be because they feel “lead on”. And to go even further - just because I like to share a lot about my planned body transformation trajectory doesn’t mean that a content creator is required to disclose their personal health status & plans outside of what they choose to share and nobody is entitled to that. By sharing as much as I do, I don’t want to set a precedent for expecting THAT MUCH from everyone - just be thankful to have creators who do let you in on our personal lives and for those of us that don’t, respect their boundaries.

[cellu-lightreading]

Day 9- Euphoria

Your young years are supposed to be filled with self-destructive decisions, at least that’s what TV tells me. I don’t think that they imagined what my friends are doing. I mean, I guess it’s a little cliché. Lots of kids move out of their parents’ house as soon as they possibly can to do all the stuff their parents didn’t approve of. Lots of kids move in with their friends thinking it will be the best time ever. A staggering amount of young people use how hot they are to make money online. I guess the difference is most of them are not over 500 pounds trying to concoct ways to get fatter.

I’m not sure it’s fair to say we’re like most other gainers either. After all, most gainers would hit 500 and wonder if they’re getting too big to function in human society. The question becomes: how do you support yourself?

“We don’t. That’s what the internet is for.” Robin was the pragmatic one who was good at planning. As a teen, he disguised his interest in gaining in sports.  He joined the football team and let the coach demand that he eat big and grow big. The whole time he knew that when he quit sports that his newly expanded appetite wouldn’t stop, but all the muscle he had gained would dissolve into fat. Now he’s so big that his old jersey wouldn’t even be able to cover the giant shelf of moobs that sit on top of his belly, but he is an absolute beast at eating contests.

Robin suggested turning our apartment into the perfect fantasy for feeders, chasers, and encouragers to watch. One glutton willing to show off every stretchmark of their six-foot wide belly already drives them wild, imagine four.

It all goes just as he said when we get our first viral clip. The four of us moving around on a bed frame turned the poor thing into tiny pieces of scrap metal in the middle of a stuffing. The sound of creaking things is practically ambient noise in a house where nothing is built to withstand the weight of even one of us. Why stop eating for that? We were enjoying  ourselves with bucket after bucket of fried chicken and fries. It was already so fattening that grease would drip down our fingers and mouths, then we had the nerve to start dipping the food in vats of cheese and gravy.

This was really Davie’s idea. He was a fat kid, so he’s been experimenting with the most pleasurable and wildest combinations of food for years. Finishing off a pint of ice cream by eating it with a couple stacks of McDonald’s pancakes? That’s normal for Davie. It’s also why his blood sugar levels are obscenely high. He doesn’t even care ever since he found out he can use insulin and turn all his worst fattening instincts to get even fatter. It’s his voice at the end of the clip, right after the bed collapses asking: “What are you guys thinking of for dessert?”

A house with four growing superchubs has certain logistical problems that have only gotten worse as we feed each other. All the walking required just to take out the trash makes it the least favorite chore in the house. But we’re also getting to the point where we need just to take care of ourselves. None of us can bend to the ground and tie our shoes. Even if we get most of our stuff delivered, someone has to be able to fit behind the wheel of the car- seatbelt extension or not.

“That’s where in person feeders come in.” Troy suggested. He’s the most conniving of the group. He literally wore his parents down until they gave up and enabled him through his teenage years. Now he’s 22 and considers a 5 minute walk an intense workout that should leave everyone out of breath and drenched in sweat like him. “Countless boys want to come experience the house. Let’s see who can really handle it. Encouragers will relish the chance to help you shower if you tell them it’s their opportunity to rub every square inch of your body and feel between your folds. They will jump at the chance to clean up if you tell them about how you made the mess by falling asleep after an hour long binge. If the price for a butler is that they call us fat ass pigs, which we already say to each other because it’s true, I think it’s worth it.”

That little tidbit is how we started getting other men in our house. The feeders would come do everything for us just as Troy wanted. Muscular men would come through the house and put down cinderblocks to reinforce the couch and clean the kitchen. The prices ended up being a little flexible. It could just be a tease here and there. Sometimes they did it to feel the folds of our belly on their head while they sucked our dicks. We would make videos with them and they would charm us completely.

The problems started when Robin and one of the feeders started getting really close. They were texting all the time and he was coming over a lot. Robbie had gotten attached, and it was evident to everyone but him. He did everything but make Pinterest boards for the wedding. The feeder wasn’t nearly as interested; he was just looking to live out some fantasies.

So it didn’t mean anything to him when Robin was gone but Troy answered the door one afternoon. It didn’t mean anything to him that he fed Troy a buffet of McDonald’s. It didn’t mean anything to him when Troy kissed him and seduced him and fucked him. It didn’t mean anything to him that they did every day of the rest of that week. But it meant something to Robin.

When Robin saw that Troy had uploaded a video of the two of them to his page, he was distraught. He chewed out Troy who could only defend himself by saying that the feeder didn’t think they were exclusive. He had a hard and heartbreaking conversation with the feeder who never once thought about how he would hurt Robin. Lastly, he came to me with a gallon jug of ice cream and a tote bag of toppings to cry on my shoulders.

The hard parts of life were fully my domain in the house. I couldn’t start trying to gain until I could support those dreams myself. At 16, I got a job at fast food chicken place and spent my checks and my late nights in high school and college munching on all the greasy food I could handle at once. The more time I had to work, the more money I had in my bank account, the more I was eating. The boys had appointed me the dad friend, and I was the one up late at night mindlessly eating a pie and paying bills with sticky fingers. I was the one who balanced the house’s budget in the morning and relaxed with a beer at night.

When boys start acting like teenagers, you need an adult to step in. I consoled Robin until the early morning, letting him eat his feelings until he fell asleep in my bed. I shook Troy down until he felt some remorse and apologized. When it was all over, Davie brought me a small bowl of ice cream, wrapped his arms around me and said,

“You wouldn’t last an hour in the drama of a Euphoria episode, but you’re a good enough friend that we never worry about that stuff.”

[subbyprincessb]

5, 6, 8, 11, 14, 24, 25, 28, 29, 30, 47, 51, 56, 58, 62, 63, 64, 65, 67, 69, 70, 71, 72, 74, 75, 76, 77, 79, 81 ... a lot I know. sorry baby

5. Are you in love?

I wouldn’t say I am in love, no.

6. Are you single this year?

Technically I’m married.

8. Describe your crush

Lol. Nice body, nicer cock hahahah

11. Do you ever want to get married?

I am married, but would I get married again? Hm I don’t know. Maybe if I found the right person haha

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

I do :)

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

To my husband? No. To someone else? Probably not unless I found the right person but right now that’s the last thing I’m thinking about 🙃

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

Hmm well it’s December and the year is almost over and like I said I’m married so lol

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Yes

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

Yes, a guy I dated when I was younger. I cheated on him with a friend. And I mean if you wanna call what I am doing now cheating, then yes. But I’m in a loveless marriage. That I plan on leaving. And my husband knows I plan on it. 🤷🏼‍♀️

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

Yes, I’d love to get a breast lift. And my lips done. But really that’s about it.

47. How old are you?

29 :)

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

My children lol

56. State 8 facts about your body

1. I had 3 children

2. When I’m about to get my period I get horrible migraines

3. Lol, so I have a toe, that is the same size as my pinkie to next to it. I’ll never show it🙃

4. I have a big nose and I hate it

5. My pussy is fat 😭

6. My skin is soft

7. My eyes are a blue green

8. I bite my nails

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

1. Be obsessive 2. Make me laugh 3. Show me I’m worth it 4. Care about my interests 5. Obviously you have to like kids haha

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

Be obsessive

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

Foreplay, cuddles, after care and me sitting on your cock 🙃💕

64. What is your definition of cheating?

I think actually seeking out and meeting up in secret, like physical intimacy and having a whole ass relationship with another person, physically and not leaving your partner.

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

Fingering/eating me out for hours until I’m dripping wet and begging for your cock

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Nice dinner and a midnight stroll on the beach. Lots of talking included maybe skinny dipping if the weather is warm enough

69. What turns you off?

When someone doesn’t respect my boundaries

70. What turns you on?

Physically: neck kisses, butt grabs, soft touches, when they do the little thing like grabbing me by the back of my neck lol

Using their words: communication, describing in detail how they are going to ruin me, sending me dick pictures lmao or cum videos ugggghhh (consensually ofc)

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

I unfortunately don’t remember my dreams

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

Good girl, lots of praise, moaning ugh it drives me wild when a man whimpers 🫠 when I’m told how well I’m doing while I’m being ruined and a drooling whimpering mess haha

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

I really care about looks. As shallow as I sound I don’t think I could date someone I found unattractive. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I like a nice jawline, I like skinny fit men, plump lips. Idk sorry lol

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

Wow I don’t know it’s been a while and I can’t remember honestly.

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

Planning dates, setting up a whole surprise birthday party, making dinner every night lol idk I think I do sweet things on the daily. I’m also just a sweet person. I’d you ever date me that’s one thing I love giving gifts random gifts, surprises and such but I hate surprises.

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

Okay so here’s the thing. I don’t see a huge issue with it, my limit personally being 29 is I would date someone 45. But like a 30 year old has no business dating someone who is 18. One because someone who is 18 isn’t experiencing the same things as a 30 year old. And those two people are in different places in their lives. Like I would never date someone who is 18 let alone younger than like 24 hahah idk that’s just me though. Like me being 30 I can relate to someone who is 45 because I’m older I’ve experienced life already someone who is 18 hasn’t done the same things as me. I don’t see us having anything in common. Don’t care for it honestly.

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

Earlier today lol. When I was thinking about my crush, and how he could potentially be talking to other people hahaha. I get stuck in my head a lot 🙃

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

1. Ohhhh this guy named Alex 💕

2. Oscar Isaac

3. I’m gonna expose myself for this one, but if you know me, or talked to me about my writing, I write fanfiction. Especially about James Cameron’s avatar. Haha so Jake sully from avatar. It feeds into my size kink okay 🙃

4. My bestie Kat, she is so beautiful and she is my soulmate!

5. And I’m gonna say myself because I think I do have a pretty attractive face :)

[f0point5]

I think the inherent idea of body positivity was good, but it just took a weird turn.

Like yes, you don’t know anyone’s story, so don’t be a fucking asshole and comment on anyone’s body. (Should be common sense)

Yes, you don’t have to starve yourself and look like a Victoria’s Secret super model.

But then it just turned toxic in all directions. People who were into fitness suddenly got called fat-phobic. And serious health issues regarding being overweight just got dismissed by body positivity.

A few years ago I got sick, eating was hard for a long time, and since I’ve always been skinny, I quickly got underweight. Then I got prescribed different medications with the side effect of weight gain. Went down almost ten kilos in the beginning, and up almost 30 kilos in the end.

Is it better than dying? Absolutely. But once the underlying issue was solved, weighing more than you should just isn’t fun. And no one can tell me it is.

And people around you are absolutely lying about it to you. Once I started losing weight when I was done with my treatment, everyone and their mother told me how great it is to see the kilos disappear and how great I look.

I guess what annoyed me about it was that the beauty standards never really changed…but we were just pressured into not acknowledging that? Like sorry to say it but what is considered “beautiful” and “attractive” never changed. Men didn’t suddenly start find thicc girls hot, they always did, hourglass was always the preferred body shape out in the real world. Heroin chic was a fashion industry trend. There was no seismic shift, as someone who dared during this period and knows people who did…the standard never changed.

It’s just suddenly it became illegal to acknowledge that your body does play a role in how you are perceived in the world, and that there are body types that are considered less desirable by society at large. And should that be the case? Maybe not. But it never stopped being the case, we just stopped being allowed to say it. Everyone got bullied into toeing the party line and it was so disingenuous. We all just had to start lying to each other (and some people to themselves) about what we actually thought about our bodies.

Sooo many “body positive” people took ozempic the first chance they had. And no hate for that, but you were lying when you said you adored your body, weren’t you? It’s okay to be uncomfortable in your skin - I don’t know a single woman who isn’t - but to be like “I like being size X” and then take the first option out of there is like…mkay.

If you love your body, whether thin or not, you should be able to say that. Thin people should be allowed to like the way they look and enjoy being the beauty standard the same way people should be allowed to enjoy their money. And I say this as someone who isn’t thin. I’m not built to be thin, and I don’t want to do the work to get toned. But I don’t begrudge people born with the body I wish I had, or the people who work for it.

And yeah everyone is lying about it. I mean I don’t know about literally everyone but I lost a noticeable amount of weight and everyone who always told me I was gorgeous was falling over themselves to tell me how good I looked. And everyone was finally comfortable enough to make fun of overweight people around me because they didn’t have to worry I’d get offended. And I get to be included in the “well we have self control because we abstain from food” conversations now. And the whole time everyone kept their comments to themselves but clearly there was this whole part of their thoughts I wasn’t privy to because I wasn’t “in”. And that’s just people I knew personally.

I just think, 100% we shouldn’t be commenting on random people’s bodies negatively. If you have nothing to say, stay quiet, it’s free. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with acknowledging what we find attractive/beautiful and the fact that not everyone fits into that very narrow mould. That’s not everyone’s path in life. Some people are at the pointy end of the bell curve, and we seem to be moving towards a world where it’s not okay to admit that and I hate it (it’s happening with intelligence too).

[meep9898]

To the muses: How do you feel about your increasing weights?

And to the mun: Favorite thing about fat people? And what’s your ideal body type.

“I am amused by the whole process of gaining. Every day, there is something new that I discover about my size. Whether it is my appetite increasing slightly, or finding myself getting winded more easily, it is all fascinating.”

“I…uh…I…” She’s unable to answer, as she feels extremely conflicted about her feelings of gaining. On one hand, she’s worried of growing lazier and useless. On the other hand, she really enjoy the attention the extra pounds bring.

“I’m not particularly fond of it, so I am trying my best to lose the weight. But no matter what, it just won’t go away. A girl who’s almost in her thirties has got it rough. My metabolism isn’t what it used to be.”

“It’s whatever.” Mostly annoyed by it, but she also doesn’t really care. She has a quick metabolism. Always has had it. Plus, she’s not getting any lazier due to the weight. If she really wanted to, she could lose all of the extra flab in no time.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about, for I am a lithe and shapely woman.” Call it obliviousness or denial, the detective is far too lost in her chuunibyou world of fantasy to accept the fact that she currently is the heaviest of all my muses.

These three are my relatively newest muses. They haven’t found much popularity yet, so they remain very underdeveloped (my fault) and small in size.

Oh my. Favorite thing about fat people? That is hard to answer. There is far too much that I like about this kink and about gainers. Mostly, I like them enjoying themselves when they eat and I love the idea of all the little changes that occur with every gained pound. How their clothes fit less, how they get more tired, how they become hungrier and sometimes needier, how their body shape transforma as the pounds settle…

As for my ideal body type, I love all types, but if I really had to pick, I like gains that are equally distributed all over. I guess I just like the idea of someone being FAT. I may have a slight preference for the lower body (let’s go thigh and butt gang!), but I really do love it all. Fat cheeks, chin, arms, wrists, fingers, chest, belly, butt, legs, feet, backs…it all is amazing to me.

[courtenaywrites]

when the fat girl becomes a scapegoat for her own death

I was as thin as a board as a kid, and I didn’t even pay attention to it. It wasn’t on my radar at all. All I knew was that I didn’t think I was pretty, and I hated that everyone else seemed to hate me, which in turn made me loathe myself even more. They’d kick me when I wasn’t looking. They would tell me I couldn’t join in with their games, and I would run to the corner of the playground and sob.

As I got older, and when the hormones had kicked in, I discovered what it meant to be uncomfortable in your own skin. I wasn’t a skinny girl feeding into heroin chic, I was a growing girl who had no interest in the things other girls were. Boys felt like bugs, and I just wanted a man who could entertain my interests in Shakespeare and Sylvia Plath without asking stupid questions like: “What are you? A nerd?”

I remember all the fashion magazines that would highlight (in red) areas on a celebrity’s body in where they had gained weight. Yet, when said celebrity would see the headline, they would lose all the weight, and the magazine would feel vindicated in the process. They would even go so far as to ask them for diet tips.

When I was in high school (from 2008 onwards), gossip and fashion magazines were still in their prime. My mother used to buy Closer and OK, and inside of those glossy pages were hoards of damaging statements.

In 2023, we think we have moved on, but I see the same mentality over and over again. Whenever a newspaper reports on the supposed obesity ‘crisis’, every person who struggles with their weight rolls their eyes. This kind of language reinforces the idea that being larger makes you a problem.

I recently went to the Doctor about a heart problem, and despite me explicitly stating that this had come on after a chest infection, he began talking about my body unprompted. He spoke of how “a greater body mass puts strain on the heart,” and would absolutely not listen to my concerns. In his mind, the only reason for the problem that developed after an infection is that I’m too fat. After my appointment, I saw a nurse from the surgery smoking outside.

This is a common experience. Before this, I visited a different Doctor for an issue with my periods that has been happening for fifteen years. She told me that all my symptoms were because I am fat, and all that I needed to do was lose weight and I would be fine.

Online isn’t far from this same reality as every celebrity who is criticised for being overweight seems to succumb to the pressure and returns to debut their new ‘look’. Most recently, Billie Eilish talked about her weight in a way that places her previous body in a glass cage.

Adele was fairly hostile about how people reacted to her weight loss, failing to understand what that does for representation. Formerly larger celebrities seem to treat their former selves with disdain, thus feeding into the toxic skinny mentality of the world.

I can’t escape it. When I step out my door, I am faced with gyms, people talking about the gym, diet tips, adverts for Weight Watchers, runners, walkers, cyclists, and more. The world is obsessed. No conversation can be had without someone mentioning working out or starting a diet.

It might not have been so bad if I wasn’t dismissed by Doctors because I am larger. I could be dying, but all they see is the body they have been trained to hate. When a fat person comes to their office, their glasses steam up and all they see is a scapegoat.

I am tired of waking up every day and feeling like a stranger in my own body. A ‘beautiful’ home can hide many faults. We don’t fit into eras. We are not coquettes in the pockets of men. We are not Didion-esque girls who find ourselves at a bus stop with nowhere to go, only to be offered a nice place to stay.

We are told to stop eating. We are told to “make healthier choices” such as having sugar-free frosting on your birthday cake that ends up giving you diarrhoea. Instead of celebrating, you end up staring at the cake like it’s a loaded gun.

TikTokers post videos of “gut healthy” cookies with probiotic-enriched ice cream sandwiched between them. Everything good in our world has been tainted by our obsession with frailty because Sam Levinson’s ‘The Idol’ wouldn’t work if Lily-Rose Depp was a size 20, right?

…No. Her breakdown on the stage in her blood-stained heels would be seen as piggish because it’s obviously her weight stopping her from performing, and look at the snot running down her fat face. Her mother hitting her with a hairbrush is accepted because she shouldn’t have let herself get so fat.

When my mother reads the eulogy at my funeral, they will only remember how the pallbearers struggled to lift my coffin. “Couldn’t they have chopped her up?” they’ll say from the pews while my mother talks of what I did outside of what I looked like.

Remember all of this when I am lying on the slab in a morgue and they are marking my death down as justice served.

[spencerlouis]

Can you do a chubby Louis learning about Harry’s exes. Maybe they’re out to dinner or something and bump into one which leads to him acknowledging how fit and attractive they are , making him feel insecure?

“Hey, Harry! I haven’t seen you in forever. How are you?” 

Both Harry and Louis turned to see a beautiful, slim girl. Her sandy blonde hair fell almost to her waist in soft curls. 

“Oh, Hi Evie. I’m doing good, how about you?” Harry asked with a smile. 

“Good, my boyfriend brought me here for our anniversary,” she replied, her brown eyes softening at the thought of her boyfriend, “he’s a sweetheart.”

“I’m glad you’re happy,” Harry told her. He then turned to Louis, “this is my boyfriend, Louis.”

“Nice to meet you, Louis. I’m Evie,” Evie greeted him with a handshake. 

Louis smiled at her, but as their hands joined he couldn’t help but notice how slender and elegant her fingers were, in comparison to his plump chubby ones. 

“It was good to see you, Harry,” Evie said, before walking over to a table where a man sat. 

“Who is she?” Louis asked.

“Oh, we used to date,” Harry casually told him, “we ended on good terms. She's a sweet girl, I’m glad she found someone.” 

Louis nodded. As he looked down he caught sight of his thighs and suddenly felt hyper aware of how thick they were, splaying out against the seat. 

“What do you want to eat, Lou?” Harry asked him, placing his hand on one of his huge thighs. 

Louis swallowed down the disgust he felt at seeing Harry’s perfect slim hand against his fat leg. Louis quickly picked up his menu and skimmed down the calories of each food. He eventually found a salad dish that wasn’t too high in calories and pointed to it, “I want this.” 

“Really?” Harry asked with furrowed brows, “that’s all?”

Louis’ cheeks flushed at that. Did he usually eat so much Harry was surprised he was getting a salad? “Yeah, that’s all,” He murmured. 

~

Harry studied Louis’ face as he slept. Louis’ eyelashes softly laid against his pudgy cheeks, perfectly rounded and rosy. They fluttered slightly as he dreamt. Harry sighed, something was bothering his sweet Louis. He had no idea what, but since they had gone out for dinner he had been acting odd, sad and shy. 

“Haz?” Louis softly mumbled as his eyes blinked open, “what are you doing?”

Harry chuckled as he stroked Louis’ cheek, the feeling of his soft skin so comforting under his hand, “admiring you.” 

Louis’ cheeks flushed and he turned to bury his face in the pillow. 

“Louis, What’s wrong?” 

Louis muttered something that was muffled by the pillow.

“I can’t hear you angel. Come on, please tell me what’s bothering you?” 

Louis sat up but avoided Harry’s eyes. “Evie.”

“Evie?” Harry questioned with furrowed brows, “What about Evie?” 

Louis fidgeted with the blanket, “she was just so pretty… and skinny,” he whispered, running a hand over his own plush stomach. 

Harry’s eyes softened, “Louis, no. That doesn’t matter, I love that you’re curvy.” 

Louis shook his head, “I’m not curvy… I’m fat.” Louis pushed up his shirt, showing off his rounded stomach that hung over his pajama pants. “It’s gross,” he said, disgust evident in his voice. 

“Don’t you ever say that, you are not gross,” Harry sternly told him. His eyes showed his heart ache at the thought that his beautiful boyfriend thought his body was disgusting. 

Harry moved to fondle Louis’ pudgy stomach, “how could you ever think this is disgusting? I love this so much. Your stomach is adorable.”

Louis blushed and turned his head away, but Harry stopped him. He placed his hand under Louis’ chin, smiling at the feeling of the little bit of soft excess flesh that gathered there. 

“You’re perfect, Louis,” Harry assured him as he looked in his shining eyes, “and I love you, every single inch of you.”

If anyone wants to send me chubby Louis Tomlinson or chubby Spencer Reid concepts, ideas, or requests you can. The only thing I don’t want is anything with full on s3x and outright f33derism. Any ship is fine as well.

Also feel free to ask me questions as long as they are respectful and send me any chubby Louis and Spencer fics you come across or write :)

[talltiny]

I never thought I’d actually reach this point…

I weighed in at my new LW today. 25lbs down, officially. Which is a lot for someone who started in the healthy weight range.

I stepped on the scale in front of my boyfriend. He doesn’t know about my ED, but has noticed my weight loss. When he saw the number for my body fat percentage (fancy scale, I know), he was shocked. He said that number is incredibly low for women, and that I should be careful not to lose any more weight. He’s always liked my slim figure, so hearing him say that surprised me. It was then that I realized I’ve reached the point of regression. I’m not getting prettier, daintier from here. I’m getting sicker. I’m approaching the opposite side of uncanny valley. He ran his hands across my stomach that night, feeling bones that weren’t visible six months ago.

Lately when I visit my family, they ask what I’ve eaten that day. They are gentle and casual about it, but I notice. Even my aunt, a fit and slim personal trainer, wanted to know what my daily meals looked like. It feels like I’m a walking red flag of mental illness at this point. I don’t think they’re doing it out of envy. I had a nervous breakdown on the phone with my mother when I was down in Texas last week, and today I received a “feel better” card from her, with $100 to Trader Joe’s for groceries. I know it’s because I’d had the flu, I know it’s because I absolutely lost my shit in front of her (which I’m still crawling in my skin over), but I know it’s also because my mental illness is becoming visible now.

My regulars at work make mention too. Some of them think I’ve taken up drugs (fair enough, that’s sort of par for the course in my line of work), and some of them think I don’t eat at all. I try to laugh it off and reassure them that it’s just natural — and I suppose that’s not a whole lie. I was an underweight child. When I became a woman, I gained natural weight in the proper areas. I was never fat. But my body didn’t feel like the one I was used to. And now, well, this is natural to me. I wake up thinking of breakfast. I watch cooking channels. I obsess over the idea of food. And I eat, I do. Just enough to survive. That has become my normal.

My thick, curly hair has fallen flat and limp. Rosemary isn’t helping. My already narrow hips now look shrunken in. I have no curves, I joke with my friend that I have the body of a cigarette. And it’s only now, somehow, that I realize it doesn’t matter enough for me to change yet, that I was never doing this for the male gaze. I’m doing it because it comforts me. When all else is going wrong in my life, I have my hollow collarbones, my visible ribs, my thin fingers to remind me that at least I can do something right.

Why did it take me so long to notice this all? I suppose I can’t see straight anymore. When my boyfriend read aloud my body fat percentage, I laughed and said “that can’t be right”, then turned to the mirror and grabbed my stomach. “See?” I pointed, and it dawned on me right as I said it. I wasn’t grabbing fat. I was grabbing skin. My boyfriend beat me to the jump at correcting me. The “rolls” I feel and see aren’t real, and that’s scarier.

[gnabnahc317cb97]

The Beat

Jisung x Female reader

Word count: 2.5k (no look they're really drabbles okay?)

Synopsis: Jisung is having difficulties with a project and asks you to help take his mind off work for a bit.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY! MDNI! Swearing/strong language, eluding to casual sex, oral (m receiving), deep throating, face fucking, cum eating, breath play (kinda not really), masturbating, cum shot, slight exhibitionism (kinda maybe, not really), slight MC dom/Jisung sub dynamic (kinda). I think that's all but if I ever miss something please let me know and I'll add it immediately!

It was the last morning before the guys were due back and you were on your knees under the kitchen table after you decided you’d rather blow Changbin than eat eggs and toast. You were sucking his soul out through his dick, choking and drooling all over his thick cock rubbing his balls and humming as you gagged on it again and again. Suddenly the front door opened and someone came walking into the apartment. Changbin had heard but apparently you didn’t because you were slurping and gagging on his fat cock when Jisung came around the corner into the dining room. 

“Hey Changbinnie hyung!” Changbin’s eyes went wide with surprise. 

“JISUNG! You’re home early!” You choked when Changbin shouted Jisung’s name and stopped sucking his dick for a second. But Jisung couldn’t see you or what was happening under that table and so you took Changbin’s cock back into your mouth and what you couldn’t fit you jerked off hard as you continued to fondle his balls covered in your saliva. You honestly didn’t know how he was holding it together, must be that strong jutdae of his. 

“Yea I wanted to come home a little early and get some rest before having to jump back into the grind.” Changbin bit his bottom lip and nodded, small beads of sweat were starting to form on his temples and forehead and he prayed Jisung didn’t notice. 

“Good idea Ji! Why don’t you go get you some rest!” Jisung looked at Changbin funny. 

“Yea, okay Bin I’ll do that.” Jisung shook his head and went to his room. As soon as Changbin heard his bedroom door click closed he groaned out and came in your mouth. You swallowed and kept slurping on him until he was sensitive and pulled away. 

“Remember this little moment the next time, pay back is a bitch.” Changbin laughed breathless, pulling you up from under the table. 

“For now though we should probably get you home.” Changbin kissed you deeply. 

“Go get dressed I’ll give you a ride.” He patted your rear end and you ran off to get your clothes on.  

A month or so went by and everything was still just the way it always was. You and the guys had your board game nights every other Monday and had been to the club to go dancing and drinking. You had fucked two of them and at least one of them knew and they both acted like nothing happened. Aside from a lingering touch here and there when passing you or sitting by you everything was perfectly normal. It was a nice day and you were walking to the park down the street from your place when you got a call from Jisung. 

“Hey Ji!” You heard him sigh heavily. 

“Hey y/n.” He sounded drained. 

“What’s wrong Sungie?” He took another deep breath. 

“I’ve been at the studio all night and I’m just so stressed over this song that I’m having trouble with. Do you...you think maybe you could come to the studio and help me?” You were confused as to why Jisung was asking you to do this when Chan or Changbin would be far better options since they actually knew how to produce music. 

“Ji I don’t know anything about music.”  

“I know I just mean come and hang out, maybe distract me for a bit, clear my head.” Well that made more sense, he needed to unplug for a minute. You were only going to go on a hike at the park because you were bored anyway. 

“Sure Sungie I’ll come hang out for a bit.” You could already hear his voice getting lighter. 

“You’re the best y/n. See you soon!” When you got to the studio the door was slightly cracked open. You knocked lightly and walked in. When you did you saw Jisung with his head laid on his desk; it looked as if he’d fallen asleep while waiting on you. You were just going to back out and let him rest but you bumped something by the door and Jisung’s head sprung up. 

“Oh hey! You made it great!” He rubbed his eyes. 

“If you want to nap a little longer, I can come back later.” He shook his head and stood up walking over to welcome you in. 

“No no I was only resting my eyes. Please come in.” He closed and locked the studio door behind you and ushered you towards the sofa in the studio. You sat down getting comfy and Jisung sat in the roll-y chair across from you. You both exchanged some small talk and caught up with what the other had been doing recently. Everyone had been so busy lately it felt like it had been forever since you’d see any of the guys when reality it had only been two weeks. The longer you sat there chatting with Jisung the more antsy he seemed to get, knee bouncing, eyes darting, if he chewed on his lip anymore he’d bite it off so finally you said something. 

“Sungie you’re supposed to be relaxing and clearing your mind a bit. You look like you're ready to crawl out of your skin. What’s going on?” His teeth let go of his lip and he let out a heavy sigh. 

“I... I really want to ask you something but I don’t want you to get upset with me or take it the wrong way.” His face was so soft and his big brown eyes seemed to have grown even bigger. You could tell he was genuinely scared you would be angry with him. You sat up and leaned forward a bit closing some of the distance between you and Jisung. 

“Well... I promise to listen and try to understand if that helps at all.” Jisung nodded and shook his head. 

“Okay... whewww... okay...” You braced yourself unsure of exactly what was going to come out of Jisung’s mouth. Jisung closed his eyes tightly. 

“WouldyoudowhatyoudidforChangbinniehyungformetoo?!” It all came out in a shouted jumble of words. You jumped at the volume of his voice and caught fragments of words but not enough to understand him. You shook your head. 

“Take a deep breath Sungie and slow down okay?” He took a couple more deep breaths and then closed his eyes again, softly this time. 

“Would you do what you did for Changbin hyung for me too?” Your brow furrowed in confusion and then the memory of you blowing Changbin under the table when Jisung came home flashed through your mind. You tried to play stupid. 

“Uh what do you mean? What did I do for Changbin?” Jisung’s face was buried in both of his hands embarrassed to say. 

“Well... you... know... you... uh... sucked his... d-” 

“HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!” Jisung jumped and looked terrified that he had in fact upset you. You were just caught off guard finding out he knew; you coughed and lowered your voice. 

“How do you know that?” Jisung wrung his hands together. 

“Changbinnie hyung said you were going to be over for the weekend. When I came home I saw your shoes by the door and then... well I saw your feet poking out from under the table a bit, that and Changbin hyung looked like he was about to explode.” Your face felt hot. You were so embarrassed to find out that Jisung knew the whole time that you had been under the table. Then it registered and you remembered Jisung’s actual question. 

“Wait did you ask me...” Jisung waved you off in a panic. 

“Never mind about that, sorry! I shouldn’t have suggested it! You’re my friend and I respect you and I shouldn’t have...” You couldn’t help but be endeared by his babbling. 

“Sungie do you want me to suck you off or not?” His eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open. 

“Words Jisungie. Do you want me to suck your cock?” He gulped hard shaking his head up and down. 

“Yes!” You tsked him. 

“Yes what Ji?”  

“YES PLEASE!” You hummed pleased and smiled at him. 

“Good boy.” You got on your knees in front of him and ran your hands up his firm thighs towards the waist band of his pants. He looked down at you with his wide hopeful eyes. You could see his pants already starting to tent from his growing erection. You slowly unbuttoned his pants, dragging the zipper down one tooth at a time, a little whine came out of the back of Jisung’s throat and you looked up at him. 

“Aww poor Sungie, you need it bad don’t you baby?” Jisung licked his lips and nodded. 

“Please?” You smiled at him sweetly 

“You asked so nicely how could I say no?” You grabbed the waist band of Jisung’s pants and underwear and pulled both down to his ankles. His cock was hard and leaking, smooth and pretty and while not as big as Changbin’s he was not lacking. 

“Such a pretty cock Jisungie.” You praised him. 

“Really?” He sounded surprised by your compliment. 

“Oh yes Ji, pretty cock for a pretty boy.” His cheeks started turning red and you thought it was so cute. You had always thought Jisung was cute, his chubby cheeks and toothy smile. You licked your hand and wrapped your fingers around his cock. You started to stroke him slowly, your thumb rubbing the tip of his cock before twisting your wrist and sliding down his shaft again. 

“Ffuck!” Jisung’s cock started leaking even more precum. 

“You’re not going to cum already are you Sungie?” You leaned forward and licked the precum off the head of his dick and he twitched in your hand hard. 

“N-nno I w-won’t please suck on it please!” The way he begged for your mouth made your body buzz with excitement and you could feel your arousal wetting your panties. You nodded and started gently sucking on the head of Jisung’s cock, slowly going further down his shaft, coating him in your saliva. Jisung gathered all your hair into a ponytail and looked down at you with your mouth full of his dick. When he hit the back of your throat and you gagged you pulled off and started jerking him off, looking up at him, your hair still held back by his hand. 

“You’re such a gentleman Jisungie, holding my hair back for me while a choke on your cock.” You hummed and took him back into your mouth bobbing your head up and down sucking, drooling, and swirling your tongue around him. 

“It’s s-so good y/n feels... Oh FUCK!” Jisung was glad the studio was soundproof because he moaned out uncontrollably when you gagged on his dick again and continued to suck him off. The grip he had on your hair tightened a bit as you repeatedly took his cock to the back of your throat, squelching, spitting, and gagging on it with pleasure before pulling off and stroking him again, harder than before. 

“You’re being so good for me Sungie. Stand up.” He did as you said although on shaky legs since you were still firmly jerking him off. He looked down at you and thought he’d died and gone to heaven. You were kneeling in front of him, blushing, your chin covered in spit and precum giving him those sparkling doe eyes. 

“Okay Jisungie, fuck my face.”  

“Excuse me what...” You giggled a little, seeing you all messy and sweet then hearing that come from your mouth short circuited something in Jisung’s brain for a moment. You repeated. 

“I said choke me with your pretty cock, make me deep throat you, hold me down on your dick until I’m gasping for air, face fuck me Ji, be good and I'll let you cum wherever you want. 

Jisung twitched uncontrollably in your hand and he got a little sparkle in his eye. 

“A-anywhere?” He asked unbelieving and you nodded, kissing the tip of his dick softly again and again. 

“That’s right baby. Now, fuck. My. Face.” You took Jisung’s cock into your mouth again and started a good rhythm then Jisung started to gently thrust into your mouth testing the waters. When you hummed in pleasure he went a little harder. Your hands came up and grabbed his ass pushing him deeper into your throat still. Jisung got the hint and started fucking your throat harder and faster. The sound of your spit and gagging, you moaning around his cock, it all made Jisung feel so lightheaded. Jisung’s grip shifted and one of his hands cradled the back of your head as the other supported your jaw. Once he had his hold adjusted he really started jamming his dick into your throat. He pulled you off and tilted your head up to look at you. You were panting, a little sweaty, covered in spit and blushing. He shoved you back onto his cock, pinched your nose closed and pushed the back of your head down until your nose was buried into the soft spot above his cock. He made several shallow thrusts, drool dripped down his cock and balls as your throat constricted over and over again around the tip of his dick while you were struggled to breathe. Jisung looked down and realized you had one of your hands down your own pants riding and fucking yourself on your fingers as Jisung choked you with his cock. He pulled you off again and spit trailed from your fucked out face to the tip of his swollen red cock. You smirked up at him. 

“Where do you want to cum Jisungie? Hmm?” You started stroking him with your free hand, your other still teasing and rubbing your clit. He bit his lip and whispered embarrassed. 

“uhon your f...” You spit on his cock and started stroking him faster and harder. 

“Sorry Sungie I can’t hear you baby. Where do you want to come?” You sucked on the tip of his dick as you continued to stroke him fast and hard, your warm wet tongue teasing. You stopped playing with your pussy and started gently playing with his balls. 

“ON YOUR FACE! GOD PLEASE LET ME CUM ALL OVER YOUR PRETTY FUCKING FACE!” You spit on Jisung’s cock again and stroked him as fast as you could, two fingers from the hand playing with his balls followed a wet trail down until you were softly fingering his perineum. You aimed his dick at your face. 

“Do it Ji paint my face with your cum baby.” The strangled moan that came from Jisung as he came almost made you climax untouched. A thick stripe of cum shot across your lips and nose, another across your cheek and one eye, another across your nose and forehead, more across your other eye, it pooled in your puckered lips as more stripes of his cum shot across your face. Your hand had crept back down into your pants again and you rubbed your throbbing wet cunt as you started to lick at the cum dripping down your face. Jisung helped wipe you off and once your face was clean again you stood and slumped back on the couch your legs spread wide.  

“Look Sungie, you made such a mess.” Your hands trailed into your pants again and you played with your pussy. Jisung crawled on the floor on all fours and his face hovered over your warm cunt while you continued to tease and finger yourself. 

“Come now Jisungie, clean up the mess you made baby.”  

Please do not repost or translate any of my works. My blog and stories are NSFW and 18+ ONLY! Minors, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked!

[chidorichild]

Yeah I completely get what you’re saying. I never thought about the feeling of ‘usefulness’ because I was drawing from my own personal experience. When I finally moved away from those who were bullying me I definitely felt what you described: the feeling of wanting to fit in no matter what.

In my experience, I tried really hard to make sure that I knew all about the interests of these people I wanted to be my friend, only say the things that would be socially ‘okay’ and acting more like a fan than anything else. There wasn’t really a feeling of ‘usefulness’ as much as a feeling of ‘fitting in’.

Although I will admit that the Leech twins probably had some influence in the way Azul developed, and I know that they were in some ways bullied to Azul, I don’t think, at least in the beginning that Azul was too heavily interested in the idea of being their ‘entertainment’. I’m pretty sure at one point he even told them to ‘go away and leave him alone’.

I do recall a few times in the game where Azul talks about eating and he also shows obvious insecurity about the picture of him as a child, and I’m sure Floyd’s comment didn’t help. I’ve also experienced a lot of fat shame even though I’ve never been medically considered fat. It wasn’t TOO extreme, but it changed my style to prefer clothes two sizes too big and such. This is another part that I don’t really like about Azul’s character design; they don’t give him clothes and a style that and ex-‘fat kid’ would wear - which is also based on trauma and insecurity.

It’s kinda clear that no characters in TWST have ever had real therapy before the timeline, but Vil mentions that they all went to therapy after their overblot. Again, this makes it seem stranger that even in Book 6, when it’s been many months since his overblot HE STILL DOESN’T SHOW ANY CHANGES AND NEITHER DOES ANYONE ELSE. However, I totally understand what you mean when you talk about the cycle of trauma and how many bully victims become bullied themselves.

** This is kinda besides the point of bullying but there is another main reason for my blatant dislike of Azul.

One of the main reasons I seriously dislike Azul is this underlying annoyance I have that I can’t really place why. I wanna say that it was when he made the contract with us/Yuu and how clearly he was screwing us/Yuu over.

This definitely reminded me of how often people screwed me over as a form of bullying, and although I’ve never been homeless, the idea of getting put out on the street by teenagers just do they can turn your house into a sister store? Ticked me off.

Azul’s really one of the only characters who ever really went out against Yuu and actively looked for us in hopes of taking advantage of them and screw them over. He had no correlation to them, except for Grim taking his contract. It made me mad that someone would do this to someone with no correlation. Taking advantage of the people you have in your contracts is one thing, but searching for someone JUST so you can take something from them and put them in a hard position: I’m sorry but I can’t ever see that as anything more than cruelty and maliciousness.

My thoughts on Azul:

I haven’t really talked about my feelings for TWST characters but I feel strongly about Azul in the way that I very much dislike him.

- Spoilers for Book 3 and maybe 4

- This is all my opinion really but I don’t think it’s super unfounded.

First off, I feel like his game design could have been better. Yes, he looks fine (in my opinion) but I feel like the game creators had so many options in what to do with him. With Jade and Floyd, even in human form they still somehow resemble eels, but there’s no part of Azul’s design that really shows off more of his octopus merman side. (Side comment: I think that the game designers did Octavinelle dirty with their dorm uniforms. It’s literally just a suit with some accessories. Like come on)

Second off, the part that I really dislike is how his character is portrayed. I know that he is based off of Ursula and therefore has to act like her, but I feel like his backstory that we see after his overblot doesn’t really provide a good enough reason for how he turned out like this and how he acts toward other people.

More on the second point - we see Azul to be bullied which pushes him to want to be better and get back at those who made fun of him. I think that’s a reasonable thing to do - as someone who has been bullied, I have definitely thought about what it would be like to get ahead of them and make them regret being mean to me - not in a violent way but in a ‘they realize I’m so much better and more talented’ kinda way.

But the thing is, Azul doesn’t stop at that

We see that people are having things taken and we see how Azul begins his contract making and such. But he goes beyond that, he starts to make contracts and screw over people who DIDN’T do anything with him. We know from Book 3 that he ran his anemone-study guide stunt last year as well. None of those kids bullied him for his weight, he simply did it to get ahead and be ‘owed’ something.

What I think happened is that Azul felt good after getting the better of those kids when he was young, and then just continued it. His actions in the TWST timeline can’t be justified by him being bullied in the past because he’s already gone above and beyond for that.

That also pulls out another point - but I (don’t hate me for this) think that Azul’s overblot was the most undeserving. Yes, it’s painful to lose something you worked hard and long for. Yes, initially the trauma of being bullied was what got you on this path. But the way that he freaked out, put people in danger, all for bullying as kid? It doesn’t seem justified enough.

One of the main things I’ve seen people complain that they don’t really like about the game is how it doesn’t really seem like the Overblot Boys get enough of a character arc, as their personalities stay the same. This is also true of Azul. In Book 4, he acts exactly the way that he acts in Book 3, and it annoys me that all these people are going through TRAUMATIZING EVENTS and don’t seem to change, while also the player never gets to see what consequences they get.

Also did we ever see the reason why Azul is very ‘I did this now you owe me’ ‘I can’t accept your help because I’ll be in your debt’??

Anyway yeah, that’s my take on Azul. Pls don’t come at me for it.

[chubbology]

Getting Big

prompt: someone discovering they're a feeder as their feedee partner gets bigger

Sometimes you’re both in bed, distracted and ignoring each other on your phones or laptops, when you notice. Your eyes lift from your phone and notice your partner’s relaxed belly, rising and lowering with calm breath, stretching the fabric of their shirt. Really stretching it now, not just with every inhale, but by default. Not just pushing the seams a little with chubbier hips, but forcing the cotton to bow out close to its limit, forcing the stitching to cave into a belly button deeper and softer-looking than you remember. And your eyes inevitably take in the rest: thicker thighs, more shapely chest, less defined arms, softer jawline.  

You’re aware that your partner’s gained a little weight. More than a little, but it’s fine. Probably thirty or so pounds, not a big deal, and you absolutely don’t judge them for it. Have they mentioned it at all? No, they just keep tugging at their shirts and pants. And underwear. Their underwear is getting too small for them, with weight gain making them a bit of a pear and all, but you don’t say anything. You don’t say they need bigger underwear. You don’t tell them how much you appreciate the fact that they need it. As long as they stay mum on the subject of their weight and the fit of their clothes, so will you; that’s your rule.

Sometimes you’re both in bed, watching TV, and they’re eating their way to the bottom of a quart of appallingly flavored ice cream (super-caramel-quadruple chocolate-chunk type stuff), and you keep sneaking glances. Because you’re amazed they’re comfortable enough around you to eat freely like this—or so you tell yourself. Their eyes are so glazed with distracted pleasure that maybe it didn’t even occur to them not to gorge themselves tonight, right in front of you.

Not gorging themselves like some kind of pig—no, it’s just, you both ordered a lot of takeout just a couple hours ago, and then they snacked on chips for a while, and then there was that candy bar they ate on a whim while you took out the trash, and now it’s a whole quart of ice cream. A whole quart. The more glances you sneak at them, the more you notice how their budding second chin peeks out when they chew. The more you notice that their bites seem hasty, as if tinged by some kind of distant, unconscious desperation.

You lean against them as if too tired to stay upright, reaching over them casually, letting one arm rest against their belly. It’s soft. It’s bigger. Not a big deal at all, you tell yourself for the millionth time.

And yet, you ponder their weight more. You’ve been pondering it incessantly. You can’t stop thinking about how they went to the mall two weeks ago without telling you, bought clothes a size up, and already were uncomfortably tugging and pulling on on every tight band and seam again. You can’t stop your thoughts from wandering to the idea of them sizing up again any more than your partner can stop their hands from opening another package of cookies.

“Ugh, this stuff is so good,” they mutter, swallowing the last bite, then closing the lid on the carton and setting it aside.

“Mm. I’ll buy more then,” you say without thinking. It’s fine if they size up again, after all. You’ll love them no matter their body type. Their happiness comes first. “I’m going to the grocery store anyway.”

A couple months later, going to the grocery store is not a chore to you, but a fun outing. You never used to even go down the junk food isles if you were by yourself, but now you scour them carefully. You place things in the cart you know your partner will like, and consider new brands and products they might like to try. It’s all so colorful and thrilling to actually buy. You tell yourself you might even try some of it and ignore the intrusive thought of your partner sneaking out of bed in the middle of the night again to binge on half the goodies themselves.

What niggles at you isn’t that you’re buying way too much junk food for your partner, who’s a little overweight now. It’s not as if they’ve told you to stop, or have implied they want to lose weight, or have said anything about any of it at all. That’s the thing: you’re in uncharted waters, and they haven’t told you a word about whether they fine with the way the tide was turning or whether they were actually really concerned that they were getting heavy and a little jiggly and they didn’t know what to do about it, let alone have the wherewithal to say, Honey, stop buying junk food. I’m getting fat.

Just the thought of the word makes you blush at the box of Fudge Covered Twinkies you’re holding. You quickly set them back on the shelf. Twinkies were practically the poster food for getting fat, right? Surely, your partner would suspect something, even though there wasn’t anything to suspect. You just know that they like food, particularly food that’s soft and sugary and addictive, and what better, cheaper food to comfort them with than Twinkies? No, it wouldn’t be good for their waistline, but you can already see their eyes fluttering closed at the taste—which was probably not even good, but that was hardly the point, was it?

Compromising, you buy a limited edition blue-stuffed brand of Twinkies instead, preparing an excuse that you thought the novelty of it was amusing and wondered if it was good.

But later that night, your partner eats six of them while you play video games and doesn’t mention the novelty of it at all. Your character dies stupidly and your partner laughs at you, belly jiggling as they do. You swallow, eyes fixating on their fat thighs. There’s no other word for them—they’re fat. Their thighs have gotten fat, just like their belly got fat, just like their hips and chest and arms and even their neck and face has been rounding out with so much chub. They were fat and they did eat like a pig, and all signs pointed to more weight gain. They were going to keep gaining weight, and when was it going to stop? When you finally decided enough was enough? When their doctor told them to take control? Yeah, so, you could imagine them awkwardly saying, coming home from the doctor, I guess I gotta lose weight. Maybe they would be holding a pamphlet on obesity or something, looking ashamed.

And maybe they would try at first. You would help. They’d exercise a little here and there, maybe only eat one Twinkie instead of six, maybe not ask for takeout so often. But it wouldn’t last. The second their will broke, yours would too. And you’d both be in bed, distracted by nothing but endless waves of pleasure that your sex life hadn’t known in a while, them leaning back against the headboard, eating every fattening thing you had to offer, which would be many, many, as many fattening things as they’d agree to swallow down like they glutton they were becoming.

“Babe?”

You blink.

“You okay?” they say with that chubby face of theirs, a face that said, I’ve been gaining so much weight, and you’re really aroused.

“I’m glad you like those,” you stutter. You look at the Twinkies box, and so do they. Your mouth keeps moving without forethought. “I’ll buy you more next time. Any other flavors you like?” You set down your controller and push your hand into their hair affectionately. Since they’re slouched, they look up at you, and you lower your hand to the back of their neck, touching the bulge of the fat there. “Want me to get you your favorite ice cream? I know you had a long day at work.” You stand and head for the kitchen, ignoring your partner’s confused ums and wells.

You open the freezer and get one of many ice cream quarts. Thanks to you, the fridge and freezer have been stuffed to the gills with crap, but you can’t regret it, not when it makes your partner look perpetually stuffed to the gills too. You get a spoon and sit down next to them again, brain fuzzy with want. “You’ll feel better when you finish this. By the time you do, I’ll finally finish this damn level.”

“I’m—I’m not…” But the look in their eyes is conflicted. “I’m not that hungry, really.”

You laugh. Your body is buzzing. “Please. With you, when you eat and when you’re hungry are completely unrelated. Let’s make it a competition! Finish before I do. Go!”

“What?”

You’re already starting the level over, thinking to yourself What the hell? Don’t make them eat if they don’t want to. Even if they do want to, even when they’re full, because they’re greedy and addicted, gonna get obese soon—

A minute passes, and they’re sitting up, belly folded in rolls on their lap, looking poised to either stand up and put the ice cream away or rip the lid off and devour it all.

“Eat it,” you say innocently, or try to. It mostly comes out like a pathetic attempt at sounding not-horny.

You glance over, and they still look conflicted, so you lean over and kiss them on their tubby cheek. “Go ahead,” you say, quieter. You meet their eyes. “Don’t you want to?”

They look taken aback now, flushed. All at once, they seem aware of their blubbery, overweight body, and they shift on the couch. You forget the game and lean in again, kissing them on the lips, then deeper as they lean into you. “I know you want to,” you whisper. You cup their fattened hip, squeeze it gently. “I bet you really want to.”

They’re blushing really hard now, gone shy and speechless. So you move closer to them, and since their head is lowered to avoid your eyes, you land a sweet peck on their bulging second chin. Then you peel off the lid of the carton, tear the plastic off, and push the spoon satisfyingly into the over-processed sugar that has been fattening your partner out of their clothes so well.

Despite their air of reluctance, they eat the spoonful you offer as if on instinct. They squirm with pleasure, and your breath hitches when their plump hand twitches out to take the spoon away from you when you don’t use it quick enough. You scoop them another bite. Then another. The room is quiet except for the game in the background and your rapidly beating heart. Their eyelids lower, and you murmur encouraging words to them. That’s it. It’s good, huh? Big bite... The experience seems no less momentous to them than to you, and so you keep going. Their eyes drift shut and so you guide their mouth to open at the right times. Eventually, your cooing gets bolder.

“I know how much you like this. Like eating. Eating a little too much.”

Their mouth pauses around the spoon, but their eyes don’t open. They swallow and wait for the next bite.

“And I know you get up in the middle of the night sometimes, just to eat,” you say. “Eat and eat until your clothes feel tight and your stomach’s queasy, right? You always come back to bed so uncomfortable, tossing and turning, panting a little. Holding back little burps. I wake up and all the junk food I bought is gone.”

Your partner leans into to your next spoonful, then takes it from you. Without meeting your eyes, they start eating from the tub themselves, at twice your pace. You smooth your fingers through their hair. Then rub a hand down their arm, which was now sausage-like with so much fat clinging to it. But it’s squishy, when you pinch it. No firmness anywhere you can see.

“I’m sure you know you’re getting big, baby. You’re getting big. But that’s okay.” You rub your hands over their belly, their hips, their rolls of back fat. “You just keep eating as much as you like.”

And after another pause, they nod.

[aqricus]

Arba my head has been full with the concept of Odasaku eating cooter for his pleasure,,

Just something about a man finding immense satisfaction in pleasing you instead of the other way around? It keeps me up at night!!

You’ll be vibing and minding your business, jamming out to music through your earbuds and just get hit with a strong grip to your hips or thighs, and the feeling of your skirt getting hiked up cause how else is he gonna fit he’s so big

You’d think you wouldn’t be flustered after all this time yet still, it’s just so....embarrassing to be craved like this. To have someone make a mess of you whenever they wanted. It’s so hot but it’s also,, kinda humiliating

Trying to close n clench your legs cause “h-hey-“ “‘m trying to listen to my music-“ and you can barely hear his firm, baritone voice through the fabric of your skirt

“So listen. I’m not stopping you.”

So you just have to sit there and take his godsend of a tongue-lashing while also trying to focus on the mumbling coming through your earbuds,, legs just quivering and cream leaking down your inner thighs

Even better if it’s a dark!odasaku who doesn’t even know you, you’re just a civilian he comes across once in awhile yet somehow you still managed to draw his attention

You’re sitting in the cafe he frequents, in the back of course because you’re a bit timid and don’t like to be the center of attention because of course while you don’t know him, he knows everything about you head buried in a lengthy book, the title of which he cares not to remember

Cause all he can focus on is the outline of your plump thighs in that floor length skirt; mind just racing with visions of how fat your pussy is, how nice and puckered it must look against your panties, how wet ‘n succulent your swollen little folds are, how soft ‘n tuggable they must be, your cries and whines, the way your chubby clit’ll just throb on his tongue—

his mouth’s frothing just thinking about it

Meanwhile, you’re so focused on your novel you don’t notice the shift in the air around you, nor the vibrations of movement near your table...

Not until you feel a set of long, calloused hands grip the tops of your knees and shove em open with the swiftness of an ocean. You gasp loudly, and after looking around to make sure no one heard nor was looking at you, you look down to meet:

Nothing.

Well, nothing but the slight outline of a man’s head under your skirt

you want to freak out, make a scene in the hopes that someone will help or he’ll get discouraged enough to leave you alone...

But the thought, the slight possibility that doing so will lead to people getting the wrong idea cause what’re you gonna say? “I was reading and all of a sudden a guy shoved his head up my crotch”? is too much to bear. The embarrassment and humiliation from the looks of realization you know you’d receive is chilling enough to send shivers down your spine

Or rather, that’s what you’d like to think as your betraying body can’t help but tremble under the soft feeling of this man’s hot mouth on the now dampening outline of your cunt through your panties; the occasional brushes of his rough stubble giving such a satisfying contrast to his delicate kisses on your pussy...

You try to pull away, try to close your legs n kick the stranger away but to no avail; he’s tough as nails, it’s like moving a boulder he’s so strong—

And his response to your futile struggles? He doesn’t even get mad. Doesn’t hit you, doesn’t smack your legs, not even a displeased grumble escapes him.

No, his grip just gets stronger. Almost like a warning. Like he’s trying to send a message of “I’m being nice right now, this can get much worse”

And the last thing you’d want is to provoke a stranger, a stranger whom you don’t know what they’re capable of aside from their ridiculous strength and stealth...

So you just sit your cute little ass back in your chair and take it. Take his tongue battering your insides, take his clit sucking gentle AND rough of course take his mouth just slurping up and down your fat lil’ cunt, take him gently suckling and kissing your labia, take the vibrations as he groans and moans in satisfaction with how sweet n tangy your pussy tastes,,

The other cafe-goers are nonethewiser to your plight of pleasure, just mingling and carrying on about their day while this man eats your cunt so good and Christ, youdontevenknowwhoheis—

Having to hold or weaken your moans to avoid being detected by the other customers but still a few low “a-ah..” “mMh-!” and “oh god, o-oh shit—“ manage to escape you,, fingers alternating from gripping your seat to his head

And when you cum? It’s so slow it’s almost painful.

you could feel the tensing in your stomach, your breaths getting quicker and quicker, he can feel your cute little fingers steadily tapping against his head cause

“‘m g’nna cream, please—“

“oh god please, don’t-“

“S-sir—“

“stO—“

and he just goes faster cause he knows you can’t handle it but he’s gonna make you, he needs this—

he goes faster and rougher and harder and oh mygOD—

using your book as a facemask, cause god this is so humiliating, Oda can’t help but chuckle as you clench and clench around his mouth, dampening—

No, drenching his face in your cum.

Low, little whimpers and cries fill his ears as he soothes you through your orgasm, quickening when he overstimulates you by cleaning your sweet little cunt up with his tongue; long n tough hands reaching and down your body to ground you. A pinch to your brown nipples, a kiss to your inner thighs, an almost comforting grip to your hips, a nip, kiss AND a suck to your cute pudgy tummy, you’re like heaven to him. A goddess on earth..

He gives a quick little nip and suck to your puffy clit and leaves as swiftly as he came...

You however, had to take more than a minute to try and recouperate from that assault on your senses...

Luckily a nice, auburn haired man was there to help you out :)

should’ve gotten his number tho 🚶🏽‍♀️

HELLO?? NO ACTUALLY WHAT THE FUCK I’M—

i saw this right when i got home and my knees BUCKLED when i was walking up the driveway. i don’t even know how to explain how much i adored this holy shit what the f—THE DESCRIPTION. THE. THE PART ABOUT HIM IMAGINING YOUR PUSSY N HOW YOU’D SOUND. T-TH. T. THE PART ABOUT HIS HEAD OUTLINED IN YOUR SKIRT. THE PART DESCRIBING HOW HE EATS YOU OUT. THE WA. T. THE WAY HE CALMED YOU DOWN AFTER YOUR ORGASM. i’m gonna SCREAM.

“i’m being nice right now, this can get much worse” HELLO?????? i can’t even add anything to this, this is PERFECTION. you feed me so well i wanna give you a kith <3

[spidernerdsblog]

Match made in Hell : Epilogue

A/N : And with this the series comes to an end. Really enjoyed writing this. When I first came up with the plot I really didn’t expect to get such a good response. Thank you to each one of you for giving your love and support to this series. Hope you like this. Let me know what you think.

Pairing : Mob! Tom Holland x Reader

Summary :  you always wanted a simple life but to be born as the daughter of a dangerous mobster turned out to be a curse for you. Everything changes when your father gets your lover killed and forcefully marries you off to another mobster as a part of a deal. You hate your father and your husband the only thing you seek is now revenge. Will you ever be able to fall in love again or this burning hatred inside you will consume you?

Warnings : pregnancy, labor, child birth, fluff

SERIES MASTERLIST

“So what do we have here?” you ask yourself, rummaging through the refrigerator, looking for something to eat. You were wearing one of Tom’s flannel shirts and sweatpants because at this point of your pregnancy none of your clothes fits you anymore, a hand placed over your swollen belly while the other held the door open.

“Oooh look, we have ice cream for us!” you talk to your twins caressing your belly “also do you guys wanna have some pizza?” you pose looking at the leftover pizza from last night which you clearly remember Tom saying that he would be eating later. But your babies want to have pizza and ice cream so you’re gonna have pizza and ice cream only. You carried the pizza box and ice cream tub to the living room and sat on the couch. You played a random show on the TV and feasted on the ice cream and pizza delightfully.

Later when Tom came home he was looking for the pizza

“Honey, where’s my pizza?”

“In here” you pointed at your belly with a wide smile.

“You ate all the six slices?” he looks at you amused.

“Don’t judge me, I'm eating for three people ok?” you said pretending to be offended.

“No one is judging you baby” he snickers “anyways I’ll have some ice cream then” he searches inside the fridge but doesn't find the ice cream tub too “don’t tell me you finished the whole tub?”

“Well I had to, the babies were really hungry you see” you pout as Tom bursts into a carefree laugh. He comes and sits beside you on the couch pulling you in a loving hug.

“Aww my mama bear, you know how cute you look right now? I guess I’m falling in love with you all over again” he coos, placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

“Yeah nice way to call me fat” you huff pushing him away playfully.

“What? Darling you look so fucking hot pregnant. You have no idea how hard for me it is to control myself seeing you like this” he admits.

“Well you gotta control mister cause this is the last month” you bite your lip playfully.

“I know love” he pressed his lips against yours passionately when you yelped as you felt a kick.

“Ow! Someone is getting jealous” you snicker holding your bump.

“Don’t worry daddy loves you both too” he lifts your shirt and places soft kisses on your stomach.

****

Your due date was near and at this point you were tired of being pregnant and were just waiting for your labor to happen. You were sitting on your bed with your back resting against the headboard as you looked at the clock. Tom was late today it was almost evening and as you were wondering where he went you heard the front door open followed by footsteps towards your room.

“Sorry honey for being late, had an urgent meeting” he breezed in taking off his blazer.

“Meeting?” your brows knit into a frown.

“Yeah we got some investors for the Knightsbridge property” he informs casually unbuttoning the first two buttons of his shirt.

“And you didn’t tell me?” you question him.

“What’s there to tell? You only had suggested that I give that property on leash remember?” he reminded you.

“Yeah I did and I also expect to be informed before any deal is made because I’m your official consultant regarding the business”with your hormones all over the place you were really upset with Tom not telling you about the meeting.

“It wasn’t that important, moreover you’re pregnant you should stay as much stress free as possible. I can easily handle these things,” he said.

“I know but you promised from now whatever you do we do it together” you remind him.

“You think I’m hiding something from you” he asks you with doubt in his eyes.

“What? No, I didn’t mean that!” you retort.

“Well it sounded like that” he grimaced.

“I just wanted to be informed that’s it” you reasoned.

“Or it’s because you still don’t trust me”

“Ok now that’s bullshit. I never said anything like that!” you raise your eyebrows baffled at his words.

“Y/N trust me I’m no more involved in the mob business” he tries to explain.

“Tom…” you trailed away feeling a sharp jolt of pain down your abdomen as you sat down on the bed holding your bump.

“No, let me speak,” he continued.  

“Tom!” you shouted in pain to grab his attention and as soon as his eyes went to you he was overcome with concern.

“What? What is it? Is everything ok? Are you ok?” he asks in a panic state.

“I think my water just broke,” you mumble, feeling a certain wetness between your legs.

“What?” 

“They're coming, Tom!” you tell him excitedly.

“Who’s coming?” he was still clueless.

“Our babies you dumbass!” you exclaimed as Tom’s eyes went wide and jaws dropped in surprise and joy “ow! and now it hurts” you groan feeling the contraction again.

“Oh my god! Ok… ok just breathe alright? Just as we learnt in the birthing classes” he tells you.

“Yeah I'm trying now can we just leave for the hospital already ah!” you cry out in pain.

“Bloody hell, this is so stressful!” he walks around in the room frantically grabbing everything necessary. 

“Tom hurry up or else I’ll deliver the babies here only!” you felt the pressure grow in between your legs.

“Ok I got the hospital bag, car keys and…” he reaches out for the gun in the drawer of the bedside table

“Tom, for god sake we are going to the hospital you don't need a gun there!” you shouted at him.

“Yeah yeah sorry. Ok let's go honey. Let's have these babies” he helps you on your feet and carefully takes you downstairs. Leslie helped you get in the back seat of the car as Tom started the car in a rush.

“Are you ok back there?” Tom looked over the rear view mirror to check on you.

“Yeah I guess” you replied calmly as Tom drove the car in a frenzy. You could tell he was nervous.

“Breathe Y/N breathe!” he exclaims in panic.

“Dammit Tom, I’m fine just drive!” you said before you felt another contraction. Upon reaching the hospital you were immediately taken to the delivery room.

“You’ll be ok Y/N, I’ll be there by your side every time” he continues to whisper encouraging words 

“I know Tom, don’t worry” you said, managing to let out a light chuckle.

“How can I not be worried?! You are giving birth to two babies in one day!” he said when the doctor arrived and positioned herself between your legs as you held on to Tom’s hand.

“Ok Y/N now take a deep breath and slowly start pushing” she instructed as you took a deep breath and started pushing. Thanks to the birthing classes you were quite at ease despite the unbearable pain while Tom stood beside you completely freaking out.

“That’s it Y/N, now gentle pushes for the head” the doctor said.

“You’re doing great honey” Tom kisses your forehead comfortingly as you grab on to his hand tighter.

“Now a big push for the shoulders” she instructed and you gave all your strength and pushed hard and your first baby slipped into the doctor's hands.

“It’s a boy!” she announces cutting the cord and handing him over to the nurses who wrapped him in a clean white cloth. You smiled weakly as you heard the cries of your little one.

“Ok Y/N are you ready for the second baby?” the doctor asks you.

“Y/N will you be ok? Or you can just have a C-section for this one” Tom suggests with concern in his voice.

“Relax Tom, I can do this” you say between short breaths before pushing all over again which didn’t hurt any less than the first one. “Fuck you Thomas for getting me pregnant with twins!” you grunted in pain as you kept on pushing.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N wish I could take away your pain” he says apologetically. 

“You know what? After this is done you’re getting a vasectomy” you grit under your teeth sweating profusely.

“What?” Tom was taken aback at your statement.

“Yeah I mean it” you say, panting and squeezing his hand. By now Tom couldn’t feel his hand anymore with your death grip.

“Just one last push Y/N, you are almost there” the doctor encouraged as you gave in all your strength in the last push and the room was soon filled with the cries of your second one.

“It’s a girl!” she announced.

“Oh my god she's beautiful just like you” Tom gasped as you laid back breathing heavily exhausted. You saw the nurses take away your babies and you panicked.

“Wait, where are they taking them?” you tried to sit up.

“Relax darling, they are just taking them to clean them up. They will be back soon. Till then you take some rest alright?” Tom assures you as you nod weakly and close your eyes. 

Just like Tom said the nurses brought your twins after some time for skin to skin. They were both laid on your bare chest as you held them close. Tears of joy pooled in your eyes as you caressed their tiny forms, smiling when they rubbed their faces on your chest. After they successfully latched on to you you fed them with the supervision of the nurses. Later they wrapped Nathan and Nailah in soft blankets and laid them on the baby cot beside your bed as you watched them sleep peacefully. Your eyes went to the door to find Tom standing at the doorway..

“Hey” you stretched out a hand calling him with a lazy smile on your face.

“Hey” he walks inside with a broad smile “you ok? how are you feeling?” he asks, rubbing your back.

“To be honest I can’t feel anything down there” you chuckle making him laugh “but for them it was worth it” you sighed with content looking at your newborns.

“They're perfect” Tom says softly as he takes your hand and brings it to his mouth kissing it gently “thank you Y/N you have given me the two most precious gifts of my life. I mean they aren't here for a day but I would do anything to keep them and you happy and safe. I want to give them the best life possible Y/N” he rambled as happy tears gathered at the corner of his eyes.

“I know babe” your heart swelled seeing your rather ruthless mobster husband go soft for your babies “by the way did you talk about the procedure?”

“What procedure?” Tom looks at you in confusion.

“Well didn’t I tell you about the vasectomy?” you remind him.

“You’re kidding right?” he looked at you in disbelief “I’m not getting my dick cut off” he said making you laugh.

“What? Tom they don’t cut your thing they just…” you chuckle.

“Whatever it is, I'm not doing it, that's it!” he states firmly flaring his nose.

“But I think you should consider…” you tease him a little more.

“No I’m not listening to you” he shakes his head vigorously in a no and just then your daughter started crying as you both turned your attention to her.

“Go” you said to Tom.

“Me?” he looks at you hesitantly.

“Yes you. You’re their dad now go” you insist as he walks to their cot.

“Hi princess ssh, ssh” he said softly picking her up in his arms “don’t worry daddy is here everything is fine, go to sleep princess” he cooed into her ears caressing her back gently and she calmed down instantly going back to sleep. Tom gasped in awe seeing his baby girl sleeping in his arms peacefully.

“You’re a natural I see” you tease.

“What can I say? My princess just loves her dad” he gleamed with pride as you laughed.

****

5 years later….

It was your twin's fifth birthday. The mansion was buzzing with guests. Nathan and Nailah ran around the house with their school friends while you were engaged in some light hearted conversation with their mothers with Nicole and V beside you while the boys were at the bar enjoying themselves. 

After sometime one of Tom’s men rushed in and discreetly walked up to him with a worried look on his face which didn’t escape your eyes.

“Boss there's an issue” he reports to Tom in a hushed tone.

“Seriously it's my kids birthday and you can't handle one thing by yourselves” he hisses putting down the glass of whisky in his hand annoyed.

“It's serious sir or else I wouldn’t have come” he explains everything to Tom as a frown creases his forehead. Meanwhile you excused yourself and made your way towards Tom.

“Hey everything ok?” you ask with concern in your voice.

“It’s the Gambinos. I really need to go love” he states apologetically. 

“Wait, I'm coming with you,” you said.

“What? No you stay with the kids” Tom insists.

“I have dealt with the Gambinos before Tom, they're dangerous. You can’t win against them just by brute force I can help”

“Ok but if things go south you’ll get away from that place first you understand?”

“Yes I will” you promise.

“Ok then let’s go” you followed Tom when you felt a slight tug on your dress. You turned to find your son and daughter looking at you with doe eyes. 

“Mommy, where are you and daddy going?” he asks innocently.

“Uh baby daddy suddenly got some urgent work to do and he needs my help” you explain as V appears from behind “so you and Leah stay with aunty V ok?” they both nod “momma will be back soon” you kiss their foreheads as V takes their hands in hers.

“Be careful” she advises you.

“I will” saying so you and Tom left for the docks.

“I thought you had an agreement with the Hollands that they don’t meddle with your business in return you won’t meddle with theirs. What brings you here again?” you ask, looking at the old man in front of you skeptically.

“I don’t talk with weak women like you, where's Holland?” he spat.

“I’m right here Gambino and don’t forget she’s my wife so address her with respect” his voice deep and powerful.

“Huh, whatever” the old man scoffs, “let’s talk business since you no longer do business in the underworld I want you to handover the port to me” he states out plainly as Tom let out a humorless chuckle.

“And why would I do that?”

“Because I won’t ask nicely the second time” Gambino’s men cock their guns as you and Tom exchange glances with a smirk.

“I just severed my connection with the underworld, that doesn't mean I forgot to use a gun. This is our kingdom and we rule here” you both pull out your guns and point at them as your men surround the place.

***The End***

..................................................................................

If you guys want to send blurb requests based on the series I’m more than eager to write so send them please. 

[hops-hunny]

When He Sees Me

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Chubby!Reader

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 4.3k

Request: N/A

Summary:(Y/n) always thought she was too rational for love, until she wasn’t. (Based off of the song When He Sees Me from Waitress)

Warnings: Slight negative thoughts and angst but vast majority fluff and pining! Oh and positive use of the word fat.

A/N:  Fred is a little OOC in this?? But I honestly just imagine him as the type of guy to be sorta whipped if he really falls for someone.

I stick with real things

Usually facts and figures

When information's in its place

I minimize the guessing game

(Y/n) had always been a rational girl. In her younger years at Hogwarts, as all her friends began to giggle and blush at their crushes, she kept her nose in her books. Although she was curious of what they were experiencing, the thought never lasted long in her mind due to what her mother had told her from a young age.

(Y/n) was about the age of 6, sitting on the floor near the couch as she colored humming to herself softly. She had noticed her mom was in a bad mood due to her being sprawled out on the couch many upon many empty bottles of alcohol littered the table. She wasn’t sure why her mother was so upset but ever since they had seen her father at the park with her babysitter last week her mom had been in this mood and her father hadn’t been back.

“(Y/n) dear, promise me something.” her mother muttered to her half asleep. The girl turned around smiling at her mom. Her mom gave her a weak smile back as she pet the top of the girls head. “Never give your heart to a man. He’ll only leave it in pieces.”

At the time, the girl obviously had no clue what she meant but the older she got and the more she saw the people in her life get their hearts broken time and time again she had developed a clue. So, she simply focused on anything that wasn’t romance. School, plants, knitting, you name it and that’s what she gave her attention to. Even though it wasn’t a conscious action, it still affected her deeply.

I don't like guessing games

Or when I feel things

Before I know the feelings

How am I supposed to operate

If I'm just tossed around by fate?

Like on an unexpected date?

Although her friends described it to her many upon many of times, she still found herself absolutely clueless of what feelings of love was like. That's why when she saw him, she was confused by what was happening.

“Oh he’s simply lovely! He does this funny little things with his hands where-” Although (Y/n) was focused on her coursework, she was still listening to Diane as usual. She liked to listen to her friends retelling of experiences with lovers, soaking it in like a cheesy romance movie. She looked out the window needing a quick break from her work. Her breath hitched quietly as she placed a soft chubby hand over her heart feeling as it raced wildly in the chamber of her chest. Her body had a tingling sensation all over that she had never felt before as she felt herself get dizzy.

“W-who’s that?” she said in an airy tone, causing her friend to follow her gaze. There he stood, laughing and joking around with his friends pushing each other around. His ginger locks blew in the wind slightly and his skin glowed in the soft afternoon sun. 

“You mean you don’t know who that is? That’s Fred weasley! He’s like one of the most popular guys in our year. I can’t believe you just asked that.” She snickered some, teasing her friend. She stopped once she noticed the girl who was usually quick to snap back was unusually quiet. She smiled softly at her expression, noticing that look in her eyes. Whether (Y/n) knew it or not yet, she was absolutely enamoured with none other than Fred Weasley.

“I don’t like him. He makes me feel funny.” she said, however the way she looked out the window still said otherwise.

“Funny how?”

“I don’t know, just funny.”

“Like laugh funny or like funny funny?”

“Obviously not laugh funny, are you an idiot?” She asked, glaring at her blonde friend. She looked out the window once more. She noticed him look back causing her to gasp, eyes wide with shock. He winked at her causing her to scoff, pick her things up before shutting the library blinds and run off to who knows where.

Diane laughed to herself as she began to pack her own stuff up to go after her friend. She sighed before running quickly out the library to catch up.

“Ah, young love!”

-------------------------------------

With a stranger who might talk too fast

Or ask me questions about myself

Before I've decided that

He can ask me questions about myself

He might sit too close

Or call the waiter by his first name

Or eat Oreos

But eat the cookie before the cream?

“For the last time Diane, I’m not talking to him!” she said, slamming her book closed as she tossed it on the table in front of her. Her, Diane and a few of her other friends found themselves in the common room as they usually did on friday nights talking and gossiping about anything that came to mind. Today’s topic of discussion was the girl’s apparent “crush” as they called it. Considering she had nothing to base off of whether that’s what the funny feeling she had mentioned earlier in the week was, she decided to trust her friends in them saying that’s what it was.

“What? Oh come on, give me one good reason why you won’t.” Molly said, facing her friend her sharp green eyes boring into (Y/n)’s (e/c) ones. 

“Oh I can give you a PLETHORA of reasons why not!” the (y/h/h) girl exclaimed as she stood up. She began to pace, trying to rack her brain for good reasons on why not. “Aha! What if he butters both sides of his toast? Or-or what if he asks me too many questions on why I’m talking to him? Or if he’s as popular and well known as you say, what if he takes that as an excuse to ignore personal space boundaries and gets handsy?” 

“He’s a teenage boy, not a serial killer. Someone’s been watching too much muggle crime specials.” Molly said as she rolled her eyes, sighing as she leaned back into the couch. (Y/n) glared at her friend, letting out an exasperated sigh as she facepalmed. It wasn’t like she didn’t wanna do anything about these feelings. She most certainly did. Whatever would get rid of them the quickest is the route she wanted to take.

“Well, you could always let him know another way!” Ronnie said as they looked up at their friend. “You’ve got so many skills and talents, why not take advantage of it?” Although Ronnie wasn’t very talkative, whenever they opened their mouth they always said something that made perfect sense.

“As per usual Ronnie, you’re the voice of reason. Merlin bless Ronnie for all of eternity!” (Y/n) exclaimed dramatically as she got on her knees, pretending to worship her friend like a god. 

--------------------------

(Y/n) had been doing just that, making herself known to Fred without making herself known. The (y/h/h) girl had wanted to be anonymous about it, leaving things without her name however Diane pointed out the fact that (Y/n) had “the presence of a ghost” and that “even ghost had more of a presence then her” which meant that even if she did attach her name to the things left Fred would have no idea who it was. Because to be frank (Y/n) was, well, a nobody. 

She noticed this little ‘talent’(if you could even call it that) first year when her teachers would mark her as absent despite her being in the front row of the class and having some of the highest marks. She seemed to fly by unnoticed by all but her small group of friends which they all found funny, especially with Diane being one of the most popular girls in their grade if not all of Hogwarts. 

So, she started off small. She’d leave little notes for him in places she knew he’d find them, usually his first or last class of the day, and his seat in the great hall. She would watch him as he’d read them, flushing sometimes as he read them. However, his usual response was to read them out loud to George, bragging about how a pretty girl was leaving him notes.

“Ah listen to this one, Georgie! ‘Here’s a quidditch tip for you Fred. I noticed that when you’re on your broom you have a habit of going to the right which is why you often get stopped. Try switching it up sometimes! However, that’s not the only thing I’ve noticed. Somehow despite being in that dorky quidditch outfit, you still look just as fit as usual. Yours truly, (Y/n).’” He smirked at that part, a chorus of ‘ooo’s from his friends.

“Although she may be blind to say that, she does know her quidditch! Sounds like a catch if you ask me. I’m surprised she didn’t go for me, the better twin.” George said, choking on his toast as Fred smacked him on the back of the head.

Diane nudged her friend, glancing at her. She laughed as she saw her friend’s round face buried in a book to hide the overwhelming amount of shyness that was overcoming her. Even though this had become a regular thing, she still couldn’t stop the way her heart would race every time Fred would read one of the letters aloud. 

To avoid the notes becoming repetitive, she started to switch it up every once in a while. Baked goods, hand knitted scarfs and gloves, even flowers with meanings behind them made their way into Fred’s ownership. However, the more things he got the more not only him but other people became curious. Who was (Y/n) (L/n)?

But what scares me the most

What scares me the most

Is what if when he sees me, what if he doesn't like it?

What if he runs the other way and I can't hide from it?

What happens then?

If when he knows me, he's only disappointed?

What if I give myself away, to only get it given back?

I couldn't live with that

Molly was currently trying to catch up to her soft friend, a sympathetic look on her face. “Why not? I think you should just go up to him and tell him! So many other girls have tried, claiming to be you.” she said, catching the other girl’s attention. She bumped into her as the (h/c) girl abruptly stopped. She turned to look at her friend with tears in her eyes causing her to look down at her agape.

“Do you wanna know why I haven’t just gone up to him yet? Do you really?” She said above a whisper as she looked up at her tall friend, silent tears making their way down her cheeks. “It scares me. It scares me even fucking more than what I feel for him does. Fred is just so..he’s funny, talented, popular. Who wouldn’t want him?” she choked out, looking away. “What if when he sees me, he doesn’t like me? Whenever he reads my notes or gets one of my gifts he always mentions how beautiful (Y/n) must be.”

“(Y/n)...”

“Let me finish Molly. When he says that, he probably means some tall leggy blonde like Diane. I’m just me.” she lets out a dry chuckle, sniffing as she wipes at the tears streaming. “Sure, I find me beautiful, you guys find me beautiful, but the world doesn’t. I don’t look like anyone he’s ever been with before. Fred is always surrounded by tons of gorgeous women. If he saw me, he’d only be disappointed. If I gave myself to him and he rejected me, I couldn’t live with that. Now I see what my mom was talking about.” she said as she walked off leaving Molly confused by the last part of her statement. She frowned hearing her friend’s words but she knew her better than to chase after her when she was upset. She turned the other way, walking quickly in hopes she’d make it to her lecture not too late. However, a flash of red hair out of the corner of her eye didn’t go unnoticed but it did slip her mind when she saw her friend later.

So, I'm just fine, inside my shell-shaped mind

This way I get the best view

So that when he sees me, I want him to

(Y/n) sat in the library at a table by herself. It was a friday, usually she’d spend this time with her friends in the commons. However, after the never ending pestering to just talk to him, to face him she told them she wasn’t feeling well and that she’d be retiring early. It wasn’t a lie, she had completely planned on getting some much needed rest but as she lay in bed tossing and turning her restlessness turned into frustration leading her to read a bit to clear her mind. Reading was what she enjoyed doing when she wanted to clear her mind or simply escape the insufferable reality she was living in. But after she found herself reading the first line to chapter three 10 times she placed her bookmark between her pages, looking out the window.

It was if the universe was taunting her from the sight in front of her. There he stood, talking to another girl from their year. She couldn’t recall the girls name but it wasn’t that important, she was beautiful. She sighed as Fred laughed at something the girl said, patting her head before walking away. ‘It’s better this way. He can’t see you which means he can’t reject you which means you won’t get hurt’ is what she kept telling herself. However if that was the truth, then why did she feel so empty inside?

-----------------------

(Y/n) laughed along with her friends as they sat in the empty common room. Everyone from their house was Merlin knows where at this time as they all shared their intimate horror stories.

“Oh come on, that did NOT happen.” she said through laughs, eating another chocolate from the box on the table. Her cheeks hurt from the amount she had been laughing. Diane was in the midst of telling what happened during her recent sexual endeavor with some guy from her herbology class.

“I swear he did! His face was green and everything! Next thing I know he was blowing chunks off the side of the bed. I offered to take him to the infirmary but he didn’t hear me through his tears so I just made my exit as swift as possible!” she said laughing as well, face red from how much she had laughed through the telling of the story. They all continued to howl with laughter, someone else’s laughing triggering someone else to laugh even more. (Y/n) was the laugh one left laughing as her friends all began to grow quiet. 

“G-guys? Why’d you stop? Who’s next?” she said, looking at Molly who was on her left and Ronnie who was on her right. 

“Um, don’t look how (Y/n) but Fred Weasley is coming this way.” Diane said, causing the girl to stop breathing briefly.

“W-what?!” she whispered loudly, eyes growing wide.

“Yeah and um don’t freak out, but he’s looking directly at you. No pressure though!” Molly said, giving her a rough pat on her back as she offered the girl a smile. The (h/c) haired girl glared up at her. As Fred grew closer, their voices grew quieter.

“Why wouldn’t that make me nervous?!” she said through gritted teeth as she pulled on Molly’s curls causing the girl to let out a quick ‘ow!’. She chuckled nervously. “Well, we have nothing to worry about! It’s not like he knows who I am!” she said as she relaxed some, closing her eyes as she leaned back. She heard footsteps stop in front of her causing her eyes to shoot open as she looked at the ground. Huh. Those shoes didn’t look like Ronnie’s shoes. Matter of fact, they didn’t look like Diane’s either. Or Mo- oh no. She looked up, arms folded across her abdomen self consciously as she looked up at the man in front of her. She couldn’t help but take in his appearance.

He was in a white shirt, some spots see through from what she assumed was a mix of sweat and water. His flaming hair was mostly dry but damp in some spots and he adorned a pair of sweatpants that made him look quite godly in her opinion. If she had to guess, he had just gotten back from quidditch practice. It was weird for her to be this close to him intentionally. The only time she found herself close to Fred was when they’d walk past each other in the hall or when their classes would go by each other due to a required location change for the lesson. Therefore she had never been able to see the freckles on his knuckles, the barely noticeable acne scars that adorned his forehead, or even the way his Irish spring’s shower gel smelled oh so heavenly.

“I’ve been all around the castle for weeks, months even. I think the main reason it took me so long was not only the fact that I haven’t really seen you up close before, but all the other birds claiming to be you. It was like that one muggle film, what’s it called? Cinderfeller?” he pondered for a moment looking off.

“I-it’s Cinderella.” Ronnie chimed in, giving him an awkward smile. They were all quite stunned. Although they all knew that this wild goose chase couldn’t go on forever, they didn’t expect it to be Fred of all people to approach first. They were sure (Y/n) would reveal herself on her own time but it seemed that they weren’t the only one’s getting impatient with the girl’s excuses and whys.

“Right, thank you. So I set off, making a list of every girl in our year in the castle- with the help of George and Dean of course- and we spoke to quite literally all of them. It was easy to weed out the fakes because they couldn’t answer questions related to some of the gifts I had received. So by the process of elimination that leaves you, love. Are you (Y/n)?” He said, crouching down to her level. As hues of brown met hues of (e/c) it was much too intimate for the girl to handle. She sat there, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

“W-well I am a (Y/n). I’m sure there’s plenty of others in the castle!” she retorted letting out a forced laugh, wiping her sweaty palms on her skirt. Was the common room always this warm? 

“If I recall correctly, weren’t you bragging the other day about being the only (Y/n) in the castle? You said and I quot-” a quick stomp of (Y/n)’s foot on Diane’s caused the blonde to quickly stop whatever she was in the middle of saying. Fred looked down at the (h/c) hair girl with a quirked brow and knowing smirk. She was caught red handed. Without another word, he quickly pulled her off the couch with ease, dragging her along with him. She tried protesting and looking at her friends for help but they all simply waved and smiled at her, making kissy faces and noises. ‘Idiots’ she thought as she rolled her eyes. Fred continued to guide her, the path to where they were going looking awfully familiar until they arrived at the astronomy tour.

“Listen Fred, I just wanna say I’m sorry. I know you were probably expecting (Y/n) to be someone who looks like Diane, or hell, even Molly’s dumbass but I’m not. I’m just me.” She began as she walked to the edge, looking off the balcony. “I know now that you’ve seen me you’re probably disappointed. I’ve seen the girls you hang around all the time and they’re bloody gorgeous and-”

“So are you.” he whispered, causing her to whip her head around quickly.

“Pardon?” she responded with glassy eyes. The girl wasn’t too sure why her eyes began to water from three simple words. They weren’t the usual three words that cause or evoke such an emotional response but they felt like the missing piece of a puzzle. Her eyes followed the lanky guy as he walked over to her, tucking a few pieces of hair behind her ear as he interlocked their hands. Long, skinny and defined calloused hands meeting her soft thicker but smaller ones.

“So. Are. You. Beauty is such a fluid thing. There’s no one way to be beautiful, lovely. Museums have many unique and beautiful forms of art and so does life.” He let his hands wander on her sides, gliding up and down her love handles, waist, and hips. He took one of his hands to tilt her head up oh so gently. “If you were a sculpture, you’d be made of the finest of marble by the most talented of sculptors. Hell, if I wasn’t so bloody bad with art I’d sculpt you myself but I don’t think I’d be doing you much justice. It’d be a monstrosity.” he said, shuddering at the idea of him doing anything art related. (Y/n) found herself giggling at that.

“If only you applied this verbiage to your coursework. Perhaps you’d actually be doing decent.” she remarked as she continued to laugh. Fred gasped a bit before joining in as well with his own laughter. As the laughter died down, he lifted a hand caressing her cheek, thumb sweeping across the smooth skin. She found his eyes to see they were filled with adoration. “Fred Weasley, are you whipped for me?” she spoke softly as if she had said it any louder, that he’d simply disappear.

“I have been since the first time I saw you.” He responded, his own cheeks flushing a bit with a light crimson. She looked at him puzzled a bit before her eyes widened slightly.

“You remember that? That was months ago!” she noted. He grinned at that, pulling her closer.

“Of course I do. Imagine my delight when I found out that beautiful girl who slammed the blinds shut on me happened to be the girl my heart was slowly going out to with every note and kind gesture you sent my way. Merlin is definitely on my side.  Although I must be honest,” he looked away for a bit before lookin back at her. “The list was a huge help, but I also couldn’t help but overhear your conversation in the hallway that day. However I knew then wasn’t the right time to approach you, I assumed you would’ve just been more upset over the fact I was eavesdropping a bit.” he mumbled. She opened her mouth to question what conversation before she recalled what she had said to Molly that day in the hallway.

“Let me finish Molly. When he says that, he probably means some tall leggy blonde like Diane. I’m just me.” she lets out a dry chuckle, sniffing as she wipes at the tears streaming. “Sure, I find me beautiful, you guys find me beautiful, but the world doesn’t. I don’t look like anyone he’s ever been with before. Fred is always surrounded by tons of gorgeous women. If he saw me, he’d only be disappointed. If I gave myself to him and he rejected me, I couldn’t live with myself. Now I see what my mom was talking about.”

“Hearing you speak so lowly about yourself upset me quite a bit. I wanted to plan out what I was going to say a bit more and also make sure it was actually you.”

“I’m sorry you had to hear me say those things about myself. I usually don’t say such things like that, I’m very confident in the way I look. To me, fat and ugly aren’t synonymous but I know everyone isn’t so open minded.” she admitted, dropping her gaze to the ground. “I’m also new to this whole feelings thing. You’re the first guy I’ve ever had feelings for.”

Now, it was Fred’s turn to become speechless. He couldn’t believe his ears, he had the honor, no, the privilege of being the first guy to be such a sublime goddess of a woman? He felt his ears heat up and he knew he had to look absolutely ridiculous. “I don’t blame you, I am one hell of a guy!” He said, flexing his arms as he flashed her a cheeky grin. (Y/n) scoffed some, shoving him away as she rolled her eyes playfully. She pondered for a second before standing on her tippy toes planting a kiss on his cheek...or at least that’s what she had planned. Fred being Fred turned his head last moment wrapping his arms around her waist as he pressed his lips into hers. She gasped softly, chills running up her spine again as her body tensed.

Even this was her first time having a kiss, she could tell this was a feeling she’d be craving nonstop. (Y/n) wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling Fred down to her height. The ginger boy smirked into the kiss, trailing his hands all along her soft frame practically melting at the feeling. His hands snaked their way down to her ass, cupping the pillowy flesh between his large hands causing the (y/h/h) to moan softly. The Gryffindor pulled away, biting and pulling her bottom lip along with him.

“So, I have a question for you then…”He started, pressing his forehead against hers. She felt the warmth of his minty breathe hit her face as she looked into his eyes expectantly. “Do I really have a tendency to go to the right when I play quidditch? Because in my opinio-”

“Fred! Really?!”

[spencerlouis]

i’ve missed your writing! i’d love to see some classic post prison chubby spencer if you’re up for it :))

Spencer rocked in his chair at his desk, self-consciously adjusting his cardigan over his tummy. This morning he couldn’t fit into the pants he was going to wear, but managed to squeeze into these ones, they were uncomfortably tight with his belly and love handles forming a prominent muffin top. Spencer didn’t want to admit to himself he had gained so much weight after leaving prison, but he couldn’t deny it any longer. He was worried someone was going to call him out on his weight gain, but so far no one had. 

Over the next few weeks, Spencer had tried to hide his extra weight. He would layer his clothes to draw attention away from his stomach, he ate less, and tried to make himself appear as small as possible. Most of the team hadn’t picked up on these new behaviours, except strangely enough, the one who wasn’t a profiler, Penelope. 

Penelope had noticed Spencer had gained weight and she thought he looked absolutely adorable with his round cheeks and plush stomach. But she also noticed he was insecure about the extra pounds, her heart breaking when he would try to hide his body or when he would turn down food. 

One day, they had a case in D.C and Emily told Spencer to work with Garcia on the codes the Unsub was leaving, their job was to solve them and to figure out what they meant. 

At twelve Garcia pulled out her lunch, “Oh, Spence! I made these for you,” she said with a beaming smile, holding her hand out with a package of cookies in them, “they’re shortbread.” 

Spencer bit his lip. He loved shortbread cookies, but those definitely wouldn’t help him lose his belly. “Uh, no thanks Garcia,” he mumbled, avoiding her eyes. 

“But I made them specially for you,” Garcia told him. That caused Spencer to look at her and see the soft smile on her face and hopeful look she had in her eyes.

Spencer reached out and took the cookies, “Thank you, Garcia.” He gave her a smile, but on the inside he was torn. He really wanted to eat the cookies but he had gotten so chubby lately and he didn’t feel like he deserved them. He sucked in his stomach causing Garcia’s smile to quickly turn into a frown. 

“You don’t have to do that, you know.”

“Huh?”

“Suck your tummy in,” Garcia said as she nodded towards his stomach. Spencer’s cheeks flushed red. “You look fine with a tummy, Spencer. You don’t have to try and hide it,” she continued. 

Spencer looked down at his body and let out a breath, his tummy rounding out. “I just feel… bad about it, I guess,” he mumbled. 

“You shouldn’t. I’m not the skinniest and I don’t feel bad about it,” Garcia told him.

“It’s different,” Spencer tried to reason, fidgeting with his fingers, “you look good with curves. I don’t. And I’m supposed to be skinny, I’ve always been skinny,” Spencer’s voice broke and he started to sniffle, “Ever since prison… I’ve just… I've been eating a bit more and now I've gotten fat because of it.”

Garcia turned Spencer’s head to look at her, “ You’re not ‘supposed’ to be anything. You went through something traumatic and you shouldn't be upset with your body or yourself for relaxing and enjoying things,” she told him, “you look nice like this, Spencer and you deserve to enjoy things, including food.” 

Spencer blushed, “thank you, Garcia,” he said as he took a bite out of the cookie.

“You’re welcome. And if you ever feel bad about your body, just tell me and I’ll be happy to remind you how perfect it is.”

If anyone wants to send me chubby Louis Tomlinson or chubby Spencer Reid concepts, ideas, or requests you can. The only thing I don’t want is anything with full on s3x and outright f33derism. Any ship is fine as well.

Also feel free to ask me questions as long as they are respectful