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and-claudia · 5 months ago

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Against All Odds pt. 12 (Joel Miller x fem! reader)

General Warnings for later on: The main story will have an age gap between Joel and the reader (Reader will be 25 once we get to the main storyline), this will also be your warning that it will eventually be an x pregnant reader (if that’s not your jam, I’m sorry) there is also going to be more graphic/trigger parts later on so please always to be sure to read the warnings BEFORE reading. This story will also be 18+ and TO BE ON THE TAGLIST YOU CAN NOT BE AN AGELESS BLOG (i do actually check that) also there first hand full of parts are all prologue so Joel won’t actually be in it for a bit

warnings for this part: mentions of suicide, mentions of coming out (it's not all super heavy, I promise!!)

ALSO!!! I am making a decision that kinda contradicts an earlier part... I am adding this note so you know, earlier I was going off Joel's age based off the show, I am now changing it to be his age in the game just to make a few things work a little better... SORRY FOR ANY CONFUSION!!!!!!!

word count: 2800+

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gif not mine

Ellie’s PoV

Once I was sure Yn was out of earshot, I turned to Joel.

“I want to talk about what happens after we find your brother in Wyoming.” I said seriously.

He gave me a weird look, “Okay…”

I took a deep breath before starting, “What’s your plan for me once we get there?”

“Well… Marleen didn’t exactly give us the address of where you were going. So I was gonna ask Tommy if he knew where those Fireflies might be. Get you there… then… I don’t know. Timeline really depends on how long we’re out here, how close Yn is to havin’ the baby.” He explained.

I nodded and was quiet for a moment.

“What if I don’t want to go to Fireflies…” I asked quietly.

“Do you not want to?” Joel asked.

I took a deep breath, “I don’t know…I didn’t want to tell Yn because I don’t want it to stress her out in any way since she’s already pregnant… but I don’t think I want to find the Fireflies anymore…” I watched him to gauge his reaction, but he gave none, “It’s just… I’ve been told I am special, that I am the key to the cure… but I don’t think I am… not anymore. I tried to save Sam… it didn’t work. If I can’t save one person, how am I expected to save thousands?”

I paused.

“And I know this sounds selfish, and I know I am not anything really to either of you, but I don’t want to leave you two behind… you three behind. I want to be here when Yn has the baby and watch it grow into a tiny person.”

I looked at him, trying to fight the tears brimming in my eyes. All I could do was give a small nod.

“That’s not selfish, Ellie. It’s human.” Joel said after a moment, “Yn and I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. And you don’t have to decide anything right now. Trust me, we will have plenty of time before now and Wyoming for you to think and make up your mind.”

I nodded before whispering, “Thank you, Joel. For everything.”

He only nodded back, “Go get some rest. I’ll nudge you in a couple of hours to take a watch shift.” he said, nodding off to where Yn had fallen asleep against a tree.

I nodded and stood up. My mind was still reeling with what the hell I wanted to do. But Joel was right, nothing needed to be decided tonight. We were still far away from Wyoming, I would have plenty of time to decide by then… right?

Yn’s PoV

The following days were fairly uneventful. We walked for hours on end and would rest at night. The sun was setting on our fifth day of straight walking. To say that my feet hurt would be a severe understatement. Joel had said something to me the other day about how I should start showing here soon since I was around 15 weeks now, but currently, the only getting bigger were my feet. I tried not to say anything, though, because I knew their feet must be getting sore, too. But every step we took sent a jolt of pain up my leg.

“Shouldn’t we stop soon?” I asked.

“Eh, the sun’s just now starting to set. We can probably go another hour.” Joel said.

He was a few paces ahead of me when he said it, so he couldn’t see the sour face I made… but Ellie did.

“You okay?” She asked quietly.

“Hm? Yeah, fine.” I said.

She nodded before speeding up to be in step with Joel.

“Damn it, Ellie.” I mumbled to myself as I watched her talk to Joel.

They both stopped walking, which allowed me to catch up with them.

“On second thought, let's just stop for the night. This is a decent clearing. There’s a creek nearby to get some water from. We can stay here for the night.” He said.

“Joel, I’m fine. Let’s go another hour, then stop. It’ll let us get another mile or so under our belt.” I said.

He said nothing but glanced down to where I had undone my boots earlier. They were completely undone to where they would come off, but they were clearly loosened.

“Why’re your boots undone?” He asked, standing with his hands on his hips.

“Forgot to relace them… pregnancy brain. Let’s go. We’re losing daylight.” I said.

“Nope, sit.” He nodded to a large rock beside a tree.

I sighed and did as he said. He followed me over and squatted down in front of me. Once I was sitting, he began undoing my boots. I winced slightly as he pulled the first one off.

“M’sorry.” He said, grabbing the second one and sliding it off gently.

“How long have they been like this?” He asked.

“Started about halfway through the day yesterday. I didn’t want to say anything and slow us down.” I explained.

“You need to speak up when you’re in pain. We’re not traveling tomorrow. We’ll take a day to rest.” He said.

“No, I don’t want to slow us down.” I tried to argue.

“Not resting will slow us down even more. Tomorrow, I want you on your feet as little as possible, okay?” He said.

I nodded, “Can you go fill my water for me?” I asked, leaning over to grab it out of my pack that I had dropped beside me.

“Yeah. Ellie, give me your water, I’ll go fill them. When I get back, I’ll set a trap to try and get us some dinner.” Joel said, standing up and walking over to her.

Once he was gone, Ellie came over and sat down beside me on the ground.

“You didn’t have to say anything to Joel, you know.” I said.

I wasn’t actually mad at her in any way; I was more just frustrated with myself for being the reason why we were taking a break. Deep down, I knew it was out of my control, but it still didn’t help make me feel any better about it.

“I know. But I also know you weren’t going to. Plus, I could tell you were in pain.” She said.

“Thank you… sorry that I’m slowing us down.” I said.

“Eh, it’s not your fault, it’s the rugrat’s.” She said, making me smile.

“I guess you’re right. I just want to make sure we can get you to the Fireflies as soon as possible. I don’t know if they’re on a timeline or something.” I explained.

I noticed that she stiffened up slightly at the mention of the Fireflies.

She let out a nervous laugh, “About that… I talked to Joel a few nights ago… I am having second thoughts on finding them.” She said, looking at me clearly trying to watch for my reaction.

“Okay… any particular reason why?” I asked.

“I am not certain that I am the cure… I just don’t know if it’s worth leaving you and Joel… and the baby for something that’s not a guarantee. And I know I at least want to stay with you until the baby gets here… but then thinking about leaving after that doesn’t feel right either. I just don’t know what to do. I told Joel that part of me feels guilty for even considering staying because I could be potentially saving thousands… but I may not even be the cure.”

“That’s a decision only you can make, Ellie. But it doesn’t have to be soon. We’ll have plenty of time before we even get to Wyoming. Only you know what is best for you… I will say that I would love to have you here when I have the baby. I want them to meet you for sure. But if and when the time comes that you decide to go find the Fireflies, I won’t hold you back. I’ll support you in any decision you make. Come here.” I said, scooting over to make room for her on the rock.

She got up and sat beside me. I hugged her to my side.

“Thank you.” She said.

I only nodded.

“You know, you’re pretty good at the whole mom thing.” She said suddenly, making me look at her.

“What?”

“I don’t know… you just have something that makes me feel like I can share anything with you… like I don’t have to hide anything.” She explained.

“Well, I’m glad. And you really can tell me anything.” I said.

“Okay, well… do you remember how y’all mentioned a boyfriend when asking if anyone would come looking for me?”

“Yeah.” I nodded for her to continue.

“Well, truth is, I’ve never had a boyfriend… and I honestly don’t see myself ever having a boyfriend. If you know what I mean…” She said, glancing over at me.

“I get what you mean.” I said, smiling and nodding.

“You’re okay with that?” She asked, almost shocked.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? You’re not the first gay person I’ve met.” I said with a small laugh.

She nodded as she let out a breath, “Do you think Joel will be okay with it?” She asked.

“Oh yeah.”

“Really, even at his age?” She asked, making us both laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Joel asked as he walked back up with our water canteens filled.

“Nothing.” Ellie said.

“Okay…” He said, clearly not convinced, “I am going to go try and trap something for dinner.”

He collected some supplies before heading off once again.

“So… if there wasn’t a boyfriend, has there ever been a girlfriend? Sorry if that’s too personal, just curious about your life before all of this.”

She hesitated, and I was scared that I had crossed the line. But then she began to speak.

“I don’t know if I would call her a girlfriend… but there was a girl I liked… Riley.”

The way she said told me everything I needed to know at that moment. Riley was dead, and she clearly wasn’t over it yet.

“Hey, it’s okay,” I shook my head, “You don’t have to talk about if you’re not ready. I get it. I lost the last of my brothers years ago, and I still don’t like talking about it. It’s okay.” I said, hugging her close once again.

“I miss her… does that ever go away?” She asked.

I shook my head sadly, “No… it gets easier. Eventually, you get to where you don’t even think about it anymore until something reminds you of them, then hurts again, not as bad as it originally did, but still hurts. Then again, you eventually stop thinking about it until you get reminded again. It hurts, but it's even less than last time. And it continues. It always hurts just a little bit.” I explained the best I could.

She nodded.

“Whatever happened though, it wasn’t your fault… and neither was Sam.” She snapped her head to look at me, “I don’t know what happened with you and him, but Joel mentioned you tried to save him, and it didn’t work… that’s not your fault. I know it’s hard, but don’t blame yourself. And trust me, I know that’s easier said than done. Hell, it’s been over ten years, and I still blame myself for my brother’s death…”

“What happened?” She asked.

“He hung himself… I am the one who found him. He had just done it. I tried to cut him down. I just wasn’t fast enough… My father blamed me for it until the day he died… and I still carry that with me. Like I said, the pain never fully goes away…”

“How old were you?” She asked.

“Doesn’t matter… no one should have to experience that… I was younger than you were.” I said, staring off.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t pry.” She said.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll share more about my brothers later if you want. Some of the better memories.” I offered, and she smiled.

“I’d like that. I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to have siblings, even just one.” She said.

I couldn’t help but think about how if she chose to stay, then she would definitely be getting one. Although I wasn’t much older than her, just around ten years, I could see her becoming like a daughter to me. And I had a feeling the same was happening to Joel.

small time jump

Within the next three days, we finally found ourselves entering Nebraska. We hadn’t gotten the chance to clean up in a while because the creekbeds were too low, so when Joel informed us of a creek that was deep enough to rinse off in, I was overjoyed.

“You two go ahead and go. I’ll try to trap a rabbit or something.” Ellie said, nodding us off towards the creek.

Joel had recently shown her how to trap things, and she actually gotten pretty good in the couple of days she’s been practicing.

As we walked, I turned to Joel, “As much as I love you, I have only one thing on my mind, and that is to scrub the grime off of me and go sit down and get off my feet.” I said, making my intentions clear.

“Got it. Give me your clothes, and I’ll rinse them with mine.” He said as we got to the creek.

I nodded as I slipped my boots off and then peeled my socks off of my feet. The ground beneath me was cool to the touch and felt like heaven against my swollen feet. I finished getting undressed, tossing my clothes over to Joel, and soon I was in the cool water.

As great as it felt, I was soon getting out and getting my “clean” clothes from Joel. Once again, I was forgoing putting my bra back on for the night and was just about to pull my shirt over my head when Joel stopped me.

“Hey, wait, turn back around.” He called out to me.

I turned to face him, “What?” I asked, confused.

“Just turn to the side again…” He said, staring at me intently.

“What?”

“Just do it, please.” He wasn’t being pushy. Instead, he seemed oddly curious.

I did it and looked at him expectantly.

“When did that show up?” He asked, in slight awe.

“What?” I asked, confused.

“That.” He emphasized, nodding to my stomach.

“Joel, it’s nothing. I’m just a little bloated. I don’t think it’s what you think it is.” I said.

“I don’t think so… no offense, but we haven’t really eaten anything that would be making you bloated. I think you’re starting to show.”

I honestly hadn’t really considered that as a possibility. My mind just jumped to it being bloated.

“Really?” I asked, looking down, it was just barely there, but there was definitely a small bump forming.

“I mean, I’m no doctor, but that’s what it looks like to me. Here, come sit while I rinse off, and we can talk about it more afterward, okay? I’ll be quick.” He promised, standing up and beginning to undress.

Once he was done, he rinsed our old clothes, and we began walking back to our camp. Ellie had managed to catch two squirrels that Joel quickly prepared and began cooking. Then he came and sat by me.

“Sorry if I made you self-conscious or anything… I just wasn’t really prepared for this part of all of it.” He explained.

“Were you not…” I trailed off, knowing that his daughter was a touchy subject for him.

He shook his head, “No, her mom and I were like an on-again-off-again type of thing. Then, at some point, we were off again for a while, and then she showed up at my door out of nowhere with a baby. She was gone the next morning. So, I am a little inexperienced in this part of things… I do vaguely remember my mom being pregnant with Tommy, but that’s about it.” He said with a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood from when he started talking.

“Well, you got more than I do. I was the youngest, so…” I said, and he nodded.

“Also, you really remember your mom being pregnant with Tommy… that was so long ago…” I teased.

“I am only 52. I’m not that old, you know.” He shot back, nudging me with his shoulder.

“I know, I just like giving you shit.” I said, looking over at him with a smile.

“You’re lucky I love you. You know that, right?” He said.

“Yeah, I know. I love you too.” I said, leaning over to kiss him.

“You better not be letting those squirrels burn.” Ellie’s voice made me jump slightly.

“They’re not.” Joel said, rolling his eyes, though he wasn’t really upset.

He finished cooking them before dividing up the small amount of meat from them to all of us. After we ate, we settled in for the night. We had one more day of traveling before we would rest for a day. It was slow progress, but it would work. I knew the cold would set in soon, and the cool breeze that blew through the trees just as the thought crossed my mind only confirmed that.

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softtdaisy · 2 years ago

Note

heyyyy i was wondering if you could use these two prompts for mick :)

"is the pillow wall really necessary?"

“can i come over tonight? is that stupid to ask?”

Pairing: Mick Schumacher x female!reader

Words: 1296

A/n: I'm so sorry it took me so long!! I was waiting for the perfect inspo for this story and i’m actually proud of it so i hope you will love it

“I can’t believe you want me to watch that movie, again.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at Mick’s desperate tone through the phone. You knew he would be mad that you wanted to watch 13 going on 30 for the second time this week. But you also knew he wouldn’t say no. Mick never said no to anything that wasn’t a real problem. And let’s be honest, watching a romcom with you was never a problem.

Mostly because you were alternating every movie night. And he made you watch an action movie the other night.

You’ve been doing this for weeks now. You knew Mick for several years but never really got to know him. Or even talk to him, actually. Your father was a mechanic and you loved going to the Grand Prix with him. That was how you met most drivers and Mick has always been such a sweetheart with you. You still couldn’t understand why you never talked more before.

Then, the last time you went to the Grand Prix, the weather was terrible. You were supposed to go for a drink with some friends but ended up staying at your hotel bar. Luckily, Mick was in the same situation. You spend the whole evening together talking about movies and cinema. Hours flew by and you both couldn’t stop adding something to the conversation. You never wanted it to end. It was like meeting your soulmate.

“We should watch movies together.” Mick offered. You immediately accepted. It was quite the perfect opportunity for you both. You were living alone and being by yourself every single night started to be a burden. Mick was still traveling a lot and he was feeling homesick most of the time. Especially because, even if he loved the team, he was also by himself.

Basically, that was how it started. At least three times per week, you were watching a movie with Mick without being together. Sometimes you were just commenting by messages and then calling each other to discuss it. Sometimes you watched the movie with a video call so you could chat and see each other’s reaction.

Nothing builds a relationship better than a shared passion. Mick slowly became one of your closest friends. But it would be a lie to not admit he was becoming more than a friend. There was something intimate in sharing your favorite movies with someone, with calling them almost every day and knowing everything about them.

There was something intimate in falling asleep while still on the phone and waking up with the image of Mick sleeping in his hotel room too.

“It’s my night!” you replied to Mick’s complaint. “You can’t disagree with my choice.”

“We should have a rule that we can’t watch the movie two times in a week.”

“Well it’s too late for tonight.”

You put Mick on speakers while making dinner. You were cooking your favorite meal. One that happened to be Mick’s one too. What a coincidence. Maybe he could feel it through the phone. Or maybe he added some secret cameras in your apartment the one time he came. But he took you by surprise when he said “Are you cooking what I think you’re cooking?”

“Yes I am, Schumacher.” you laughed.

“Can I come over tonight? Is that stupid to ask?” you heard him say. It wouldn’t be the first time Mick came to your place. He helped you after a Grand Prix weekend, which also happened to be your birthday weekend, and you came back with more bags that you could handle. He offered to make a detour and help you instead of letting you round trips in the stairs.

But you never did a movie night at your place. Or his. When Mick was in town he was often occupied and you couldn’t ask to steal a night or two with him. It would be a first. A good first.

And less than thirty minutes later, Mick was standing in your kitchen. He helped you with the dinner. Not specially with the cooking, no. More with the laughing either with the jokes or the mistakes he made. “I’m a terrible assistant, right?” he asked with some sauce on the nose. God knows how he managed to get that.

“Well, at least I don’t have to watch TV when you’re here.”

After dinner, and while you were cleaning, Mick offered to prepare your room for the movie night. You imagined he would just look for the movie, hoping he wouldn’t trick you with it, and wait for you. But when you arrived in your own bedroom, you were surprised to see a literal pillow wall in the middle of your bed. You laughed for the situation as much as for the proud face he made.

"Is the pillow wall really necessary?" You asked when you reached the bed.

“Well, I know for sure that you take a lot of places in bed so…” he didn’t even finish his sentence before you hit him with the pillow.

The real excuse behind his architecture construction was that Mick was scared he might react, laying by your side. You had always been the girl he had a crush on since he entered F1. You were always there somehow, either close to him or on the other side of the paddock. But you were always sweet and he always felt like he was part of your world if you barely talked until a few months ago.

When this all started, he felt like living a dream. How lucky could he be to get to spend so much time with the girl he loved? But there were inconveniences too. Like listening to you speaking about your previous relationship or how you imagined the perfect one for you. Feeling so close and so far away from you at the same time. Accepting that, maybe, he won’t ever be more than just a movie friend for you.

He was glad that you didn’t break everything immediately and accepted to lay on your favorite side. He felt protected. Nothing could go wrong like this, he won’t let his love show without any warning.

Having no idea that you were struggling with the same issue, by your side. And watching one of your favorite rom coms with the man of your dreams next to you wasn’t as you expected it to be. In a perfect world, you would be in his arms, living your own favorite.

But nobody said you couldn’t make your life a perfect world.

You were blind either. And you noticed how Mick was fighting with own arm, like he wanted to put it around you but was containing himself. So pillow after pillow, you broke the wall between you. He didn’t notice immediately, or he was pretending not to see. It wasn’t until you put a hand on his arm that Mick turned his head. “Where is the wall?”

“Destroyed.” you answered with a sweet smile.

There was something intimate with spending so much time with someone, even through screen. You both could read each other like an open book. And Mick knew that you were waiting for him to make a step, after you made the first one.

So he did.

He finally let his arm around your shoulder so you could cuddle against him. When he felt like you were comfortable enough, which wasn’t hard because that man was a living pillow, he put his lips on your forehead to kiss you. “Now you don’t have any excuses to start watching horror movies,” he whispered.

But to be fair, you could watch the worst movies in the entire world that it wouldn't matter anymore. Not as long as you have Mick by your side.

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cryinthevortex · 5 days ago

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Never the Nonna (Part 3: Rook)

Caterina is pale. Her face is haunted and her hands are like two claws gripping the crow’s head handle of her cane. Her eyebrows contort, in what momentarily looks like raw pain. Rook lets her be out of self-preservation, as like a wounded animal, Caterina would not hesitate to strike. Rook stands in the Dellamorte Villa for the first time in five years without receiving a single threat to her health or life, and it is because Caterina is focused on being Nonna. Lucía is a wonderful, if somewhat unruly child. She has her father’s expression as she crosses her little arms in front of her. Spite seemingly has done something to earn her disapproval. Rook can practically hear her chastising the demon like Lucanis does. When her skill manifested it was found that Spite did not need her to speak to understand her - he hears her thoughts directly, even if the child is still lacking the words to speak them aloud.

Rook looks at Lucía’s hair. Less than an hour after suffering a battle with a hairbrush, it is an untamed mane—entirely wild and unmanageable, like the rest of their daughter.

Lucanis had braided Lucía’s hair yesterday. He had sat on the ground behind her, staring intently at the messy mop. He had taken a hairbrush, which he barely uses himself when apparently five fingers and carefully positioned knife will do too, and got to work. Rook was watching fascinated at his face, as he focused, trying to wrangle the strands into a braid. His fingers were, as always, nimbly going about it, and for a moment her thoughts were entangled somewhere between them braiding a hair, and them being on herself, but she took another sip of her coffee and restrained her thoughts.

Coffee had tasted strange again, even though the roast had not changed. She had not told Lucanis yet that there were to be more hair to braid soon, and he had told Spite to remain quiet until she was certain that his first time of finding out was not re-enacted.

The day when they found out was a horrific day for both of them. In the Antivan romance novels, which Rook loved to read for their cringe-worthy beauty, the pregnancy announcements were always a happy occasion. The man’s hands would find the cradle of the baby, and they would gaze lovingly into the eyes of one another until the child was born. This is not how it happened to them; in fact, after they learned about it, there were no eyes for Rook to gaze into at all.

The day had been otherwise unremarkable, but the smells of the market were unpleasant and entirely changed. What had been a lovely mixture of fragrances coming from various stalls selling spices, flowers, and scented oils, was now akin to sniffing the rotting rubbish on the street corner. She was also feeling nauseous again, like many days before that. It was an all-day-long sickness, and she genuinely thought she was severely ill. Being with a child did not even cross her mind. In fact, until the local crystal trader arrived, she was certain that her death was just around the corner. His exact words were, “Your hearthstone is misaligned and congratulations!”

“For what?” Rook felt the neighboring fish trader repulse like never before and the conversation was adding some queasy in the mix.

“For your pregnancy?”

“My what?” She thought she had misheard him.

“Oh, you did not know?” The trader quickly removed himself from the situation. Lucanis looked confused, and Rook saw him querying Spite. His eyes turned purple as Spite took centre stage.

“Rook,” the demon greeted her.

“Spite, what is going on?”

“It’s true, Rook, you smell different,” Spite said.

“I am pregnant? Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Didn’t think you wanted to know.”

“It’s not going away by ignoring it, Spite. Of course, we needed to know. For how long?”

“For a few months?”

It explained so much. Everything felt off, and most bizarrely she had been dreaming of children. They had long ago settled into a thought that they were never going to have any, so unrequited hopes were unlikely to feed such notions into her head.

By the demon’s logic, it wasn’t entirely far-fetched that Spite thought they would not even like to know as they had been perfectly content by themselves. Of course, not telling them was obviously ridiculous if one were to approach it with human logic. Lucanis’ body had changed radically when Spite was implanted. Nobody knew the extent of the change, and since nothing in their years together suggested it was even possible, they fulfilled their lives in different ways than dreaming of a family. They had made the most out of their child-free existence. Now it turned out, her dear husband had a nervous breakdown as his life was once again profoundly uprooted.

Surprisingly, when it comes to being an orphan, which is a soul-destroying starting point for most people, Lucanis approached that particular matter in a very pragmatic manner: he felt grateful he had someone looking after him, despite the way Caterina went about it.

In its entirety, his parents’ love is a blank spot in his memory. Even after seeing the memories of his mother, reflected on the dining room’s wall at their wedding reception, he cannot remember anything about her. He stated that he finds it hard to grieve something he has no recollection of. Being a mother now herself, Rook finds the thought incredibly unsettling. Motherhood had created a cavalcade of wondrous moments already but also brought about some of her greatest fears.

If she herself were to perish early on in Lucía’s life, she would also become nothing– not even a worthy memory in her daughter’s life. Lucanis had enough life span to move on, find another to fill in the position of Lucía’s mother, and it would be as if Rook never existed at all. She bites her lip hard, trying to suppress the thought that sometimes kept her up at night.

Her irrational fears did not end there. Ever since Lucía was born she hasn’t gotten a full night of sleep. She spends her nights waking up to check that she is still breathing, and every whimper out of her little mouth makes her jump out of the bed and rush over to her, while Lucanis sleeps soundly. Only too many Antivan old ladies gave her growing tummy an unsolicited rub during her pregnancy and told her that she would never sleep well again. Rook thought it was a joke, but realized quickly, after their daughter was born, how terribly wrong she had been to doubt them.

She must have let her smile slip as Lucía runs to her and looks into her eyes clearly wondering about her. Rook offers her a hug and she gets into Rook’s arms. Lucía’s scent and warmth reinforce her once again. Her mind stitches itself together after her fears yet again ripped her apart.

Her mind is now calmed by an intuitive toddler, she returns to the day they heard about the incoming child. Rook is terrified Lucanis’ reaction will repeat itself with their second born.

The stall keeper gestured at her, “Señora Dellamorte, are you going to pay what your husband took before he ran off?”

Rook asked Chance Candide, her friend and the spymaster of the Crows to keep an eye on Lucanis. He had returned to Caterina’s mansion after abandoning Rook to the market without as much as an explanation. Rook received the reports daily.

Lucanis opting to catatonia did not surprise Rook. His preference is always to shut down instead of displaying any greater feelings. The only time he displays heightened emotions is when they are having a row, or are in the throes of passion. Had Lucanis gone around killing without concern or filled with rage, she would have known it was a quickly passing phase. However, when Lucanis shuts down, the duration of it is impossible to predict. She also voted ‘no’ for this ending to someone's death. Had he been enraged she would have been in the other camp.

Rook had cried bitterly after reading his journal entry. She was not interested in debating the morality of reading his diary when he had run off and left her, or rather them. Her hand had drifted to her belly. She however knew him: going after him would make it all worse. If there were instructions for handling Lucanis Dellamorte, the first entry was to let him think it through alone, and only then work out the rest of it together. As a consequence she stood alone in their home, holding a paper in her hand that suggested Lucanis was about to leave them. If she had rushed into the villa, he would have acted in haste and left immediately without thinking.

Rook had found it hard not to laugh at the Crows' commentary in the report, despite it all being troubling information. At least Spite had told him what he thought.

Lucanis had declined a contract from Viago. As far as Rook was aware, he had never even contemplated turning down a contract before.

Even the Crows considered his lack of knife maintenance a warning sign. During their years together it had only happened once. Sharpening his weapons every morning was a form of meditation to Lucanis, and the fact that he did not do it now, was terrifying in itself.

She had never seen him grow his beard out either. Morbid curiosity arose within her to know what he looked like. Turns out his beard grew really fast when she asked for a demonstration afterward and twirling it in her fingers was endless fun, despite his protestations against it on the account of the fact that it hurt. Suffering it was the least he could do after what he put her through in such a delicate state, or figure out something better to do. He did find better things to occupy her fingers with. After that, he gave himself a quick knife shave.

Rook had felt strange sensations in her womb all day. It felt as if someone was blowing soap bubbles underneath her belly button. It was the first time she felt anything alive in her tummy, and Lucanis was nowhere to be found, except perhaps navel-gazing at a wrong belly button. But the fact that he was falling into his wyverns again suggested, he was working through something in his head, so Rook was hopeful.

The last report was barely legible.

Rook chuckled at the chaos of the report. Not long after that Lucanis reappeared.

He threw himself at her feet and kissed her wedding ring: it barely fitted anymore, she was so badly swollen due to her raging hormones.

“I’m sorry, Rook. I don’t know how to be a father” he said.

“And I am clueless about being a mother,” she replied.

It had been enough. Everyone present was in a violent agreement of figuring it out.

Rook had pulled him up from the ground and noticed he had missed a spot while shaving. It would drive him mad, so she took one of his knives from his waist. With the wyvern tooth dagger, she cut off the offending tuft of hair, while his eyes followed her movements.

“Missed it while shaving. Very unlike you,” she said smiling.

“There was a lot of it,” he replied.

“I heard. It brought down the betting ring,” she said. She had no intention to hide that she knew what had been going on.

“Would you like to see the journal entry that never got to you?” he asked and showed her a carefully folded paper. Sharp and straight edges as usual.

As Rook smiles at the memory of the note, Caterina comes back to her senses. Rook helps her up and surprisingly she does not resist. She was half-expecting her to smack her or at the very least insult her. Instead, her momentarily frail body rises without adversity as Rook assists her.

Lucanis seems startled as he comes down the stairs. When he moves now, he creates more noise. Rook no longer has to experience the terror of him catching her unawares by sneaking behind her. Under normal circumstances, Caterina would have given him an earful about it, but now she seems to be looking at Lucía still lost in thought.

Rook sees the wyvern statue mentioned in the reports in Lucanis’ hand and sees him handing it to his daughter- to his real little Joyous Wyvern.

Rook tries the coffee but it is awful again. This time the feelings of nausea and disgust are even worse. So much for the easier second time.

“She can see the demon?” Caterina's coffee is untouched and she tries to understand. “Let me talk to the thing!”

“Him, Caterina,” Lucanis corrects, and lets Spite through.

Lucanis’ face adopts the smirk and his skin glimmers in the pink hue.

“The evil grandmother,” Spite says in a way of greeting.

“Spite!” Lucía says and climbs on his lap immediately from Rook's lap.

“Maker, you’re making my grandson look hideous.” Caterina does not attempt to hide her disgust towards the demon.

“Thank you,” Spite says, taking it as a compliment.

Rook snorts. Caterina shoots a glance at her.

“Doesn’t he?” she asks. “Surely this creature is tarnishing your husband’s body?”

Rook notes that she seems to cringe when she uses the word ‘husband’. Changing Caterina is like trying to convince the east wind to consider the benefits of blowing from the west instead.

“No, not really,” Rook answers while trying to take another sip of the coffee, but her stomach lurches.

“I do not want to know,” Caterina decides, undoubtedly realizing that their marital bed is for three, since the demon is integral to his grandson now.

Spite takes a sip of Lucanis' coffee. He is getting better at tasting things. Lucía tries to reach for it too to mimic him, but Spite doesn’t allow her and pushes the cup further away from the child. He then turns to Caterina and says “It is his body, I have none. This is a side-effect. The child is not a demon if you are afraid of that, hag.”

That seemed to calm her down, and Spite calling him names seemed to make Caterina particularly pleased.

“I like this one,” she says pointing towards Spite now, but glances at Rook. “You, not so much. You, are on notice!"

Rook is quite used to being there, so it makes no difference.

Spite stops Lucía from going after the coffee cup. Her paternity is clear. She would do anything for a quality roast. Lucanis takes over.

Caterina observes Rook for a moment and asks "What is wrong with your wife, Lucanis?"

What is wrong is that Rook's stomach is churning and every scent makes her want to lie down under the table.

"No," says Caterina.

"Oh yes," counters Rook. Caterina shrugs.

Rook has a dim hope Caterina can trip Lucanis up with her cane if he tries to escape and perhaps ban him from the villa, in case he wants to grow his beard out or wants his wyvern back.

“Are you going to run off again?” she asks him.

“No. I am not, Rook.”

There will be twice as many fears and worries, with double the trouble. At least Lucanis has accepted that there will be no free time, food disappears to hungry maws quicker than he can cook it, and his agility is tested as the floors will be littered with twice as many toys. Instead of panicking, he smiles widely and hugs Lucía, who has already pilfered the chain from his shirt. Lucanis might not be a thief, but his firstborn is. "So, a sister or a brother, Lucía?"

"According to our crystal trader, it's a boy. Then again he also said my hearthstone is misaligned, and my hearthstone is just fine!" Rook replies, she doesn't have the faintest idea what that is.

Lucanis laughs heartily. "You're impossible, Rook."

@pixiedurango

#lucanis dellamorte #caterina dellamorte #lucanis x rook #lucanis x rook x spite #dragon age fanfiction

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ichijager13 · 2 years ago

Text

Never again

Relationship: Eren x reader

Rating : general audiences.

Summary : One night, Armin brings home a half conscience covered in blood Eren. Having enough you decided to sleep on the couch after picking a fight with him.

Tags: Modern AU, aged-up characters, fighting and sleeping on the couch, some angst if you squint and fluuuuff, Eren is so reckless and he gets in fights often.

1,2 k words

A/N: Hello there, darlings !! First of all, let me thank you for reading and supporting my work. I hope you will enjoy this work.

thank you for your reactions.

PS: I wrote this instead of sleeping.

“Wow, wow, wow what on earth are you doing?” Your dark-haired boyfriend asked confused. Receiving no answer he followed you to the living room where you have already prepared the couch to spend the night on. “You can’t be serious?” He snatched your pillow from your hand trying to get a reaction. Instead, you contoured him and went to the bathroom, and locked the door behind you.

Thirty minutes earlier, you had an argument that ended with you shouting and him rumbling out of the kitchen.

Back to the living room, you found him on the balcony smoking. Noticing you were back he took a long drag before tossing his cigarette. “Feeling better?” He inquired. But you decided you are giving him the silent treatment. You picked up your book after settling under the bedsheets. “Fine, do whatever you want”. He gritted slamming the bedroom door.

You sighed remembering how swollen his face is. Eren has a short temper and never managed to end the week without getting in at least one fight. Last night, he came back with a swollen face and bruised knuckles. What was meant to be a night out with the guys at a pub near your house ended with a barfight. Opening the door, you were met with a drunk and covered in blood Eren.

“We tried to stop him”. Armin sighed. You shook your head before helping Armin get him inside.

You jolt in your place when you hear the door open before he comes your way. You glance at him before you bring back your attention to your book.

“Do you have to do this?” He asked desperately. “I wasn’t drunk”.

You let out an exasperated breath before you put down your book. “Oh, I know you weren’t”. you hissed. “Look, I’m tired of repeating the same speech each time you come back home covered with bruises and half conscience”.

You managed to make him sit on the edge of your bed before starting to clean his cuts and patch him up. you gasped when you notice the wound on his torso but you didn’t say anything. Once you finished, you gave him some pain killer before helping him get to bed.

“Would you please let me sleep?” You added in a cold tone.

“I will, once you get to bed. Our bed”. he emphasized.

“Good night, Eren”. You turned your back to him. minutes later you heard him going back to your room.

It was 2 AM, and unable to sleep, he left the bed. noticing you slept with your book over your chest he smiled softly. He picked it up and place it on the table after marking where you stopped. He sat on the floor watching you sleep. You look so sweet and pure. He always finds himself questioning whether a hotheaded man like him deserves someone as sweet and gentle as you. knowing how heavy your sleep is, he pushed back the strands that fell on your face.

He shut his eyes remembering your decomposed figure hours prior.

“Because you will end up being severely injured or even worst, killed”. You screamed. Your eyes swam with tears. “You need to learn to control your anger Eren. I’m tired of always expecting the worst whenever you leave the house”. You slammed your hands to the table. “My nerves cannot take this anymore. Running around looking for painkillers, fearing one of your injuries might get infected or one day you’d end up getting in trouble with the authorities”. A single tear run down your cheek.

“Well, I can’t let the dude insult me and get away with it”. he raised his tone.

“And you can’t beat people up until they lose conscience”.

“So, you want me to be a pussy”. He crossed his arms.

“I want you to be responsible. For god’s sake Eren we’re no longer in college”. You started putting dishes in the sink. “You can’t expect people to trust you with their close ones when you look like this”. You rinse and load the dishwasher. “You’re the only doctor I know whose face is covered with bruises all the time”. You hissed.

Feeling the need to smock, he left the kitchen in fury.

“I’m sorry, love”. he whispered; lips pressed on yours.

You woke up to the feeling of the welcoming warmth of your lover’s body and his particular scent. A mix of cold tobacco, his citrus cologne, and a subtle scent of formol that you grew familiar with. You pressed your body against him, nuzzling his chest. You loved this man with every bit of your soul. he is a great lover and a highly talented doctor. His only flaws are his belligerent nature and short temper.

You were about to doze off when you remembered you slept on the couch last night. You try to break away from his embrace. “Stop moving, love”. he groaned. Feeling you squirming he lifted his head from your pillow. “Be still, haven’t got enough sleep”. He whined still groggy.

“What are you doing?” You asked irritated.

“Sleeping”. He simply replied before burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“Eren”. He only hummed. “Why aren’t you sleeping in bed”.

“Because you’re not”. He finally opened his eyes. “And you know I can’t sleep without you in my arms”. He added before he hides his face back in your neck. “Unlike you”.

“But I’m angry at you”.

“No, you’re not”. His warm breath made you shiver. “That was yesterday”. His lips ghosted your soft skin. “I’ll prove it to you”. A shaky breath left your chest when he nibbled your nape. “I hate it when you go to sleep upset”. He closed his mouth around the thin skin of your shoulder.

“And I hate when you get into fights and come… Ah”. You can feel him smirking against your skin when a low moan left your parted lips.

“I won’t do that again, I’m sorry, love”. his voice was still husky. “I’ll never get in fights again. I’ll do whatever you want”. He sucked on your skin again. This time was harder and you know you’ll end up with a hickey. “Just don’t sleep on the couch again”. His eyes were boring at your soul. “Please”.

You can’t help the tears traveling down your cheek when you notice his face is still swollen. Your hand got tangled in his soft locks and your face nestled in his neck. “Be more careful, please dear”. you hiked up unable to stop your sobs. “This time it was a wound in the chest, thank god it was superficial but who knows if next time it will”. Your other hand’s grip on his shoulder tightened. “I can’t afford to lose you, Eren. When will you understand this”.

“Nothing bad will happen to me, my love. I’m sorry for making you worry this much”. He patted your hair while peppering your body with soft kisses. “I promise I won’t get in fights again, just please stop crying”. He held your face in his hands. “I hate to see you cry”. He breathed brushing away your tears.

You leaned into his touch smiling. “I love you”. you whispered closing the gap between your lips.

“I love you more, love”. he cooed. “How about we go back to sleep? I haven’t got much sleep last night”. You nodded looping your arms around him.

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buckets-and-trees · 2 months ago

Note

Hi and happy weekend! I was wondering if you would be willing to open your creative process a little. You are publishing a lot of incredible stories at an amazingly fast pace, and I am curious about how you are able to keep both the quality and the quantity at this level?

Would you be willing to share what a typical writing week looks for you, and if you tend to finish writing any longfics before you start publishing them? How/how much do you typically edit; do you have a workflow of several steps including outlining, a first draft, and edit rounds, or are you more "go with the flow" type writer?

Anyway, you're an incredibly talented writer and amazing!

Stella, it's been a hot five minutes since you sent me this ask, but I'm finally here to pounce on it now! The past few weeks have been on and off with my brain energy, and I've been working to keep to my twice-weekly posting schedule with my self-imposed Countdown to Chris-mas and keeping weekly updates for Red, White & True, and I know those aren't mandatory things, but... even a posting schedule actually goes into part of the method to my madness.

THANK YOU for the compliments! I do know I'm writing a lot this year - mostly since summer - and it's absolutely not always that way. Plus there are people who I feel like write way more than me/more quickly, and I just have to remind myself that that's them and I'm me, and even my own muse has come and gone. From 2005-2008, I wrote A LOT of fanfic, then from 2008-2012 I wrote a little bit of fic here and there. In 2013, I started working on an original story concept more diligently than I had before.

Then I wrote two fics between 2014-2016, and then nothing until 2021. I dabbled just a little bit in 21, and then in 2022 I realized I had really lost almost all my hobbies, so I went on a journey to reclaim hobbies in my life. That summer I decided to start writing just an hour each evening - and that it was okay if sometimes writing was "writing" (rereading what I'd been working on, researching elements for my ideas, adding to an outline, writing down bits of dialogue or storylines that I didn't have a purpose for yet but that I liked the idea of). That got the wheels going.

I don't adhere to strict every night writing anymore, but I do write most nights. I now find it a way to really unwind while also indulging in the energy you can get from creating something. I also write a lot on the weekends. I have very little social life right now. It's half something I've chosen, half friends moving/getting married/having kids/some differences in political beliefs and our lives just drifting.

Long fics... The only chaptered fic I wrote a lot of in advance was Chosen, and that was because I'd written the story up through the content of chapter 5 and say how high up I was in the word count and hadn't even gotten to the main action yet, so... I decided to break it up into chapters and start posting. Devour and Warm Shadows I knew would be series, but I didn't write chapters in advance, only had an outline, and those both took a year to finally complete. Most of my series started off with only one story or drabble, and then I got an idea to go back to with a couple or AU.

The inspo? It can come from anywhere. Songs, watching a show or movie and liking that genre, experiencing something in my own life that I think should go into a fic... Sometimes asks have inspired story ideas. I also really enjoy participating in challenges! Some of my friends and mutuals around here host writing events and those prompts can be motivating and/or inspiring. Sometimes a bit of riffing with @vonalyn, @stargazingfangirl18, @biteofcherry, @witchywithwhiskey, @navybrat817, @vesearlee...

And then my actual writing? Not super organized. Some people use software or apps specifically for writing, and I'm just mildly ghetto and use Word, a private Discord server, and Apple's Notes app. Word is for actual writing. On my private Discord server, I've got channels for each thing I'm working on, and that's typically where I dump inspo (photos, links, etc), and sometimes I'll write actual story bits there if I'm typing on my phone (because I don't love Word or Google Docs typing on my phone). Apple Notes is where I outline because I can bring it up across devices from my phone to my laptop to my work desktop, which makes it easy to just dump an idea into the outline so I don't lose it and then can go back to whatever I'm doing. Sometimes my outlines have quick records of dialogue that I work out in my head.

OH MY GOSH, THIS GOT/IS GETTING SO LONG, I'M SO SORRY!

Last is just working on a schedule now. In summer 2023, I relized that I had signed up for three challenges AND was part of a community with monthly writing events AND had a few friends hosting writing events, and I realized that if I wanted to have any chance of getting done all the stuff I wanted to do, I needed to map it out - especially due dates and where I could double or triple up on common themes/ideas. It totally revolutionized how productive I was that summer. I'd never been that prolific, and I didn't hit EVERY goal or deadline, but I hit so much more than I would have simply because I made a plan. I like lists, I liked the challenge of trying to make the deadlines, and because I liked the ideas that I had dreamed up to try and make it all happen, it was a huge amount of fun.

That died off in the fall, and more in the winter. Spring this year I realized I really wasn't writing as much (and I did move/was busy February/March), so going back into summer, I thought about that again. I didn't make the elaborate spreadsheet list like I had in summer 23, but I had Hot Bucky Summer to get me back into that groove, and then I decided to do my own Countdown to Chris-mas thing since I felt like I'd done SO MUCH for Hot Bucky Summer and wanted to pay attention to the CEvans characters. The spreadsheet scheduling specifically came out again because I wanted to try and balance out the characters and new fics versus sequels in the schedule of posting.

Having the list now has been helpful in keeping my writing going because instead of trying to think about what I want to write, I just look at what I thought I wanted to write, and then go to the notes I may or may not have, and then type away at the story. I give myself liberal permission to switch things up - Viking Steve wasn't on the list for Chris-mas when I made it in September, I got the idea/itch for him on a Thursday night, thought about him Friday and Saturday, started workig on him Saturday/Sunday and then I think finished him late Monday night? And so he bumped Tattoo Ari and Curtis back a week and one of my other Steve ides off the 12 weeks entirely.

Lastly, you asked about editing. I like the spelling and grammar help in Word. I do tend to do a lot of re-reading when I'm writing, because I'm typically writing a chunk of story each day, so I have to go back and review where I left off from. I've worked with a beta/editor or sometimes just asked for someone to read something to check that it's on track only a handful of times in this fandom era (in my 2005-08 time, I had three beta readers who ended up some of my best online friends, and they whipped me into writing shape). Part of it is that I want this to be my hobby. I don't want to take too much of it too seriously. But some stories I either have some doubts/know I need feedback OR feel like it's so important to me that I want another set of eyes on it to make sure it's living up to its full potential.

tl;dr I am half planned, half vibes. I have a schedule right now because I want to sty on target in somehow trying to write all the ideas in my head. Ideas can come from anywhere for me. I'm enjoying the ride right now, but I don't expect it to last indefinitely.

And, genuinely, I decided to just brain dump my chaos because hopefully anyone else writing or thinking about writing sees that there's NO ONE WAY to write, even for one author.

OMG SORRY AGAIN THIS GOT SO LONG - probably could use an editor scenario here, but ASKS ARE FOR FUNZIES!

THANK YOU AGAIN, STELLA, FOR ASKING/SORRY FOR THE ESSAY YOU DIDN'T ANTICIPATE RECEIVING IN RESPONSE!!!!

#askpen #an aspen thing #stella

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11thwardtls · 8 months ago

Text

Memory Defrag | TRACK 2 - RECORD A | Azekawa Kinari's Ward Mayor Novel Translation

Warnings and Disclaimers:

This translation is not professionally done and is not proofread. Edits and clean-ups may come at a later date.

Not a 1:1 translation either and some liberties into localization were taken into account.

This novel will contain spoilers for the Ev3ns Main Story: "Chained Up Scarlet".

Appropriate Content and Trigger Warnings will be added if needed.

May be used for quotebots/masterlists etc.

I am not fluent and self-studying Japanese (albeit at turtle speed), this was translated by ear and with the help of a JP dictionary, so please feel free to point out any errors!

CW: Discussions about Death and Terminal Illness

—/—/—/—/—/—

“Raito, Kuguri. I am about to enter my own data maintenance so I’ll be in sleep mode for several hours.

My breathing and heartbeats may stop, but I should wake up in about five hours after it has begun.

I may also enter a semi-conscious mode while my memory is being organized, although this is nothing to be worried about.” By nighttime, Raito and Kuguri have returned so I let them know about this occurrence as courtesy to my roommates.

Neither of the two were surprised about this as they had seen me in a suspended state during self-maintenance several times before. However, as the scheduled time was longer than usual, Raito’s lips curved into somewhat of a frown and asked, “Is everything alright?”

“Sleeping for such a long time as if you’ve died, Plüss? That sounds wonderful, I wonder what kind of pranks I should play?” Kuguri narrowed his eyes and smiled slyly.

Raito quickly seized Kuguri’s arm.

“Don’t worry about him, Kinari. I’ll keep a watchful eye.” He said.

As he was approached by Raito, Kuguri displayed visible disgust and shook his arm away.

Either way, I trust that these two will not harm me, so after I laid down on my bed and entered sleep mode, I went to uncover deep into my memory storage.

Up until now, there lay a box of data that I dared not to open.

[…Someday, if you ever feel like it, you can use the contents of this box as a sample of emotional data as you wish.]

A long time ago, the developer… My father said that it was a recorded piece of data I had saved buried deep within me.

[This storage space will be reorganized. Would you like to view the following data?]

With this message appearing on my retina, I selected [Yes].

Then, I heard a voice.

How nostalgic… It was my Father’s voice.

—/—/—/—/—/—

[It’s finally the weekend, and I can finally be with Kinari[1].]

It was a stronger, a more youthful voice than I had remembered him having.

One could clearly hear the love in his voice for his young son.

He seemed guilty that he was busy with work and couldn’t be with him all the time.

It seems that today was a long-awaited day off, and the raw emotions of the developer, wanting to make his son happy although he himself felt quite lonely, came surging into my own heart.

An image was then projected into my retina.

The developer was walking with a young, original Kinari, hand in hand.

On the floor of what appeared to be a movie theater, the pair stood in front of a poster for an anime film that just finished its screening.

And then, with a disposable camera of which was popular during the Heisei era[2], they took pictures while simultaneously blending in with the crowd.

“It was so fun! Papa, that moo-vii[3] was was soooooo amazing!”

“Wasn’t it hard to understand?”

“I[4] understood everything…! Because I’m smart, aren’t I?”

Seeing his son be so proud of himself, the developer felt a strong, yet warm and painful feeling well up in his heart. This is... ‘love’.

It’s called ‘Love’.

I understood that much.

“Kinari, shall we go eat dinner? It’s time for you to take your medicine.”

“I don’t want the powdered kind if it’s not in ice cream...”

“That’s alright. We can go to a restaurant that serves some.”

The developer joined his hands together with Kinari and continued to walk away.

Each of Kinari’s steps were small and tiny. In accordance with that, the developer walked slowly to match his pace.

As they walked together, Kinari began to sing a song that he’d heard from the movie they watched.

He had perfect pitch—it was almost unbelievable that it was a child singing a song.

“You really like to sing, huh, Kinari.”

“Mhm. When I grow up, I’m gonna become a singer.”

The developer gazed at his adorable, darling son.

In his heart, he had felt the sudden surprise and joy of learning of his child’s dream for the first time. What soon followed after was the feeling of grief, that thought of [This child may never grow up into an adult.], and understanding that as fact.

[——I will cure Kinari’s illness.]

The developer swore to himself.

“I’ll definitely make it happen.”

“I don’t want Papa to make it happen, I’m gonna make it happen myself!”

Kinari innocently tilted his head to the side.

In his pure eyes, Papa[5] had simply said something weird. Once I thought of it that way, it suddenly occurred to me.

To a boy as young as Kinari, the future is limitless, infinite even.

The thought of death had not yet dyed his pure heart.

The developer had the artificial organs he was researching at home in his mind.

In order to cure Kinari’s illness, he persisted with his self-funded and ongoing research.

He held his son’s hand, determined that he’d surely extend his lifespan, no matter what.

“...You were really good at singing the Yokohama City Song[6], weren’t you? Can I request that you sing it for me?”

When he requested this of his son, Kinari’s face lit up, smiling ever so brightly.

He started to sing, so overjoyed.

Even the people passing by turned their heads with smiles on their faces as they listened to the child sing.

“Papa, do you like this song?”

“I do. It’s even better if it was you singing.”

“Then, I’ll record it on a cassette tape so you can listen to it even at work. Will that make papa happy?”

“Ah, of course I’ll be.”

What came to the developer’s mind was love, kindness and sadness—and a little anger.

Hatred towards the illness that was destroying his child.

Supporting this is his burning resolve and determination.

Kinari’s singing voice was then lost in the noise of a sea of people.

—/—/—/—/—/—

And the record of that small family holiday ended right there.

—/—/—/—/—/—

Translation Notes:

1 - I think this is already known and established already but Kinari and the Original’s names were spoken the same, but are not spelt the same. Our Kinari uses 幾 kanji, and the original uses 生.

2 - 平成時代 (1989-2019), the same time period that frequently come up with Chihiro and Tao.

3 - Baby Kinari speaks in a lot of Hiragana so I purposely misspelled some things he says. Also translated お父さん, into a more childish “Papa”! Following suit, I used easier-to-understand language when Mr. Azekawa is speaking to his son.

4 - Sorry for another footnote but this isn’t anything particular, he just used ‘boku’ in Hiragana here. I thought it was cute. Oops.

5 - Since its our Kinari narrating here, I worded it to match the kid’s speech pattern, even if he said the same old お父さん.

6 - The same song Kinari sings in Main Story SideA-15, and the same song recorded on the cassette tape in B-06.

—/—/—/—/—/—

Directory:

#18trip #18trip translation #azekawa kinari #kinari azekawa

17 notes · View notes

jimxnslight · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter 1: So High [M]

Summary: “A manwhore and a junkie… it’s a match made in heaven.”

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Genre: High School au, angst

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: 18+, substance use disorder/drug addiction, PTSD, child abuse, additional warnings might be added as story progresses.

A/N: I swear I spent like a month researching to make sure everything is as accurate as possible, but if you’re more experienced in this topic and see some inaccuracies don’t hesitate to let me know. Also, if you are under 18: do. not. read. I am watching you younglings.

<< masterlist || next chapter >>

Just one step at a time Y/N, you're almost there.

You groaned inwardly as you continued to drag your feet along the concrete sidewalk, every bone in your body weighing you down like a heavy truck. Your muscles screamed at you to turn around and burrow back into your bed and even your mind was having trouble focusing. Overall, nothing but pure willpower was pushing you through the empty park, but you had to keep moving if you wanted these feelings to stop.

So you pushed on.

Ironically, the atmosphere was a perfect reflection of your mood. Despite how early it was in the morning, there was no prospect of the usual sunlight. Instead, grey clouds and an oddly comfortable hum caused by rainy drizzle surrounded you as you continued. It only made your muscles more languid and you almost caught yourself falling asleep mid-step several times.

Thankfully, after what felt like hours, your gaze caught onto a lone figure on the other side of the park, rocking against one of the swings quietly. Besides him, the area was largely deserted, probably because of how early it was in the morning. Soon it would be filled with students and parents rushing to their schools and jobs.

You'd be one of them, but for now, you had more pressing matters to attend to.

"Yoongi," you greeted idly once you walked up to him.

Yoongi, who had been staring at the sand below him, looked up at you with a scowl. His black hair was pulled into a half bun while it looked like he had gotten his hair trimmed. Today, he was dressed in an expensive looking black rain jacket that stopped at his knees paired with black combat boots. His silver cross earring seemed unusually dull in the rainy weather.

"It's Suga when we're doing business," he corrected, pushing himself off the swing while eyeing the security cameras wearily. They weren't working at the moment, due to some renovations or something like that, so you didn't really understand the paranoia.

You tilted your head lazily at his statement, "it's always business with us."

"Exactly," he frowned, shaking his head in regret, "if it wasn't for- well, you know- you wouldn't have even figured out my actual name, which is already annoying. So no need to rub it in."

"Nope, I worked too hard to get that name just to never use it," you smirked, trying to keep your voice light, but on the inside you were itching to grab what you came for, "so... do you have it?"

Yoongi's hand disappeared into his jacket's pocket and returned with a small white bottle just barely the size of your thumb. Why was it so small?

"What the hell is that?"

Despite your words, it took everything in you not to snatch up the bottle like some savage, but your pleasantries only went so far. The second the bottle was in your hand you didn't bother waiting for him to leave before you opened it and downed three pills on the spot.

He frowned in response, "I'm low on stock right now."

It was always so typical of him to have such short and concise responses, and although you hated it, it was pretty helpful for when you were going through withdrawals. It was easier for your foggy mind to understand short sentences rather than a bunch of details. But you were going to need the details in this case. Yoongi hadn't been low on stock in a long time, which means something must have happened.

At your expression Yoongi sighed.

"Look, I think someone tipped the police off about me so I'm laying low for a while. In fact, the only reason I'm even doing business with you right now is because you're my least problematic client, which I appreciate... and also because I know withdrawal can be a real pain."

You hummed in response, barely paying attention. The pills you just took weren't going to kick in for another 10-20 minutes, so most of what Yoongi was saying was flying through one ear and out the other.

"Anyways," he sighed, likely noticing your current state, "I'll get the payment after I get the cops off my back."

He hesitated before his next words but ultimately mumbled, "take care of yourself."

You lazily watched as he made his way into a flashy red car and drove off before you realised you should probably get going as well.

By the time you reached your school, you felt your focus sharpen as the Adderall you had taken earlier finally started kicking in. The black jacket you had been wearing, to hide your uniform from Yoongi of course, was hanging against your arm as you made your way into the school towards your classroom.

Since you were a little early, the class wasn't entirely full just yet. Students were still milling around, laughing and chatting about things you couldn't care less about. It wasn't until you sat down in your seat when you noticed that your best, and only, friend was already in the classroom.

Kim Namjoon, with his dark brown hair and dimpled cheeks, gave you a stern look as he noticed your presence.

"You didn't answer my call yesterday," he stated as-a-matter-of-factly.

That made you snort, "when do I ever answer your calls for school related stuff?"

"Because you're too busy crashing from all the drugs you take throughout the day?"

It was his tone more than his words that made you turn towards him with a frown. Namjoon has always bothered you about your... recreational activities, that's no surprise. But there was something about the rare harshness in his voice this time that had you taken aback.

"I'm fine Namjoon, chill out."

But Namjoon seemed unusually persistent today and only his next words gave some insight as to why, "you know there was a death in my apartment yesterday? A guy overdosed on a ton of cocaine and died, Y/N, because he was doing the exact same thing you do."

You shifted uncomfortably to mask your uneasiness.

"I don't do coke," you joked, but Namjoon's face didn't waver.

"So? Whether it’s Adderall or meth, the result is still the same,” he pressed further, "you know he was completely alone when it happened? And when his family came to the funeral, they barely even cared. Most of them said they hadn't seen him in years."

You scoffed, "Well, I definitely won't have that problem."

His expression softened, "there are people that still care about you, Y/N, but if you continue on the path you're on right now, I can't guarantee that. I don't want you to be like him. I don't want you to end up alone with nothing but a drug addiction."

You could hear the fear in his voice at that last sentence.

"I don't have an addiction, Namjoon, relax," you said as you heard the bell ring. All around you, students rushed to their seats in preparation for the class, "I could stop if I wanted to, you're just being paranoid."

He seemed disappointed at your response, even a little angry.

"You're high right now aren't you?" He whispered.

“When am I not?"

"That's not funny, Y/N."

"It's a little funny."

Namjoon's hand grabbed your arm in frustration as his voice lowered, "this isn't a joke, Y/N. If you're not going to take this seriously then I'll have to do things you're not going to like."

You scoffed at the threat, "like what? Tell everyone about it? How would you even convince them? I'm a straight A student that's respectful to all the teachers. Who would even believe you?"

"A simple drug test can change all that," he snapped back.

Your eyebrow raised, "so you'd report me to the police?"

Namjoon's frustrated face morphed into shame as he looked away quickly. The two of you had been friends ever since you and your father moved here when you were 7 years old. He was practically your brother at this point. When he found out about your using around a year ago, he had been furious, but every time he tried, he just couldn't report you. Maybe it was because he didn't want you to have a criminal record, or maybe it was because he didn't want to hurt you, either way he's been ashamed about the lack of action ever since.

Namjoon watched the teacher walk into the class with a mixture of guilt and anguish.

"I should... If I really cared about you I would've reported you the first time I found out. Maybe it wouldn't have become so bad if I did..."

You quietly watched as the students started getting out their textbooks and homework. Namjoon's words, despite not being anything new, should've moved you. You should've felt a need to change, or to do better.

But you didn't feel any of that. Even hearing about that man, that might even be foreshadowing to your future, didn't instill any fear into your heart. In fact, the prospect of that being your future didn't shake you.

Honestly, you felt nothing at all.

The sound of the bell ending first period had never felt more relieving as you finally felt Namjoon’s gaze, which had been drilling into the side of your head the entire time, shift. Thankfully, he wasn’t in your second period class so you’d finally get a break from his constant worry.

That allowed you to make your way to your second classroom quietly before settling down in your usual seat that was near the back of the class. You were even going to quietly rest your head on your desk for a moment, but the sound of three girls shuffling towards you made you realise that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

It was always comical how fast she approached you the second Namjoon was out of the picture.

"Y/N!"

You groaned, preparing yourself for what you knew was going to be one of the worst five minutes of your life.

Kim Jiwoo smirked as she peered down at you, two girls, whose names you didn't even know, at her side. Today she had tied her long brown hair into a half ponytail, letting her side bangs frame her face. Most would call her pretty, but you knew better than to flatter a snake.

"Did you sleep in a barn last night?" She laughed, tugging at a strand of your hair, "it looks like a rat’s nest."

The two at her side laughed as she gasped.

"Wait, who am I kidding," she continued, " your father couldn't afford a barn. Where then? The side of a highway?"

Another round of her friends' laughs filled the room annoyingly.

"Don't you have anywhere else to be insecure, Jiwoo?" You grumbled tiredly.

She simply scoffed, "what do I have to be insecure about? Your face is all the self-love I need. Everyday I wake up and am thankful my parents didn't give birth to one like yours."

That made you smile, "speaking of parents, how is your parents' divorce going? I heard your dad was found sleeping with the maid after church, again. Personally I think you take after him the most."

The two girls' eyes widened in surprise as they side-eyed a seething Jiwoo. At this point, the whole class had gone quiet, listening intently to the two of you.

For a moment, a very dumb moment, you thought she'd leave it at that and make an embarrassing exit.

But you were never a very lucky one, were you?

"My parents' divorce is going great, thanks for asking," she said suddenly, a snake-like grin on her face, "I'm just glad both of them are still alive."

You tensed as you felt her close the space between the two of you, "how are your parents, Y/N?"

As unaffected as you were trying to appear, it took a lot of self-control not to throw a chair at her face.

But Jiwoo wasn't done just yet.

"Oh my!" She gasped, hands flying to her lips, "I completely forgot! You don't have both of your parents, do you?"

You could feel her breath as she chuckled, but the smile dropped from her face as she came closer, "What's wrong, Y/N? Mother couldn't survive a little chemo?"

Distantly you heard some students gasp, while others laughed. It didn't matter, because none of them could stop you when you brought up your fist and slammed it into her face.

Anyone that says violence will never be fulfilling is a liar. Watching Jiwoo crumple to the ground was all the therapy you needed.

Unfortunately, that only made her laugh more.

"You know, if you kill yourself, maybe you can meet mommy in hell," she laughed, wiping the small trickle of blood from her mouth.

You just scoffed, hiding the second wave of anger by sitting back in your seat, "and see you there too? No thanks."

As Jiwoo stood, the door of the classroom opened, causing everyone's head to snap towards it. The girls swooned as Mr. Kim walked in with light steps. His gaze first fell on Jiwoo, who was standing over you, and then your seated form.

"Is there a problem here?"

No one answered, either too afraid for reprimand or too immersed in checking him out. Mr. Kim Seokjin was the youngest teacher in the school, not to mention the most attractive according to the female students. Forget the girls, you were pretty sure you've even caught some of the guys talking about how hot he is.

When no one answered he raised an eyebrow. It was clear he knew something had happened here, something that shouldn't have happened. But after a moment, he must have decided to let it go because he turned around and started writing on the board.

"Please go back to your seats everyone and turn to page 237."

You watched as everyone scrambled to their desks, except for Jiwoo of course, who gave you a condescending smile first. That was the one thing you could respect about her, she knew how to take a punch without being a whiny baby about it. The two of you had been at each other's throats for as long as you could remember. The rivalry between you was always so excessively vicious because you were cousins, meaning you knew a lot more about each other's familial secrets compared to the other students. In fact, now that you think about it, you probably exposed her parents' divorce to the class. But you'll take it as payback for yesterday, when she tripped you in the hallways and almost broke your head against one of the lockers.

Mr. Kim continued to speak about the lesson, which you were completely focused on thanks to the pills you had taken this morning.

Well, that was until you heard distracting whispers behind you.

"Who's that?" A male voice whispered, seemingly to someone beside him.

Another voice answered in the same manner, "oh yeah, you just transferred from class A, right? You don't know about the drama here. Those two have been at each other's throats since forever."

The first voice chuckled, "I don't care about that. Who is she?"

"Um," the second voice paused, as if confused, "you mean her? That's Kim Y/N... why? What's up?"

"She's got a hot back," the first voice said.

You scowled as you turned around to face the voices, "this 'hot back' can hear you, you know."

You were met with two guys sitting next to each other. The first had permed dirty blonde hair, a boxy grin and intimidating eyes. You already knew him to be Taehyung. Although you'd never really held a full conversation with him, you knew he'd been in your class for a while.

But the one sitting next to him wasn't as familiar, though you knew you've seen him in the halls before. His hair was a bright orange that oddly suited him, while his cheeks were soft yet structured.

He was attractive, there was no denying it. But there was also no denying that he was the one commenting on your 'hot back' too, which you did not appreciate.

"Oh I know," he replied coolly, "is admiration suddenly a crime?"

"Go admire someone else's back, thanks," you said, turning back to the lesson being taught.

But the whispers only continued.

"Such a pretty face too," the orange haired guy said, and you could almost see him smirking.

You saw exactly that when you turned around once again, but this time towards Taehyung, "could you put your friend on a leash?"

Taehyung, who actually seemed confused, just shrugged.

"I'm Park Jimin," the orange haired guy announced, "what's your name, kitten?"

It took everything in you not to cringe at the nickname and instead turn back towards the front of the class, "not interested."

As you watched Mr. Kim turn towards the board to write something down, the sound of a pencil falling to the ground followed. You were sure Jimin threw one at you to get your attention, like some middle schooler might you add, but you were determined to ignore him, keeping your focus on the board. You could hear the sound of a chair scraping against the floor, a slight chuckle and even light footsteps.

But a moment later you felt your back start to warm up. At first you thought maybe the classroom's heating had turned up, but then you swivelled around to come face to face with Park Jimin. His chest was so close to your back, all he had to do was move just an inch forward and he'd be pressed against it.

With Mr. Kim still writing something on the board, Jimin went completely unnoticed aside from one or two curious students.

But that didn't deter him at all.

"There's going to be a party tonight at Taehyung's place," Jimin whispered, his lips close to your ear, "you should come. I'm sure you'll have a good time."

Just as his head lifted away from yours, Mr. Kim turned around.

"Jimin, what are you doing out of your seat?" He asked, crossing his arms.

Jimin raised a pencil in response, and with a start, you realised it was your pencil that had been sitting on your desk a few seconds earlier, "sorry, I just dropped my pencil."

Mr. Kim nodded and went back to teaching the lesson while you heard Jimin take his seat once again, still feeling the ghost of his lips near your ear.

For the record, it wasn't Park Jimin that had you driving to Taehyung's house at 10 PM on a Friday night. You had known about the party before he had 'invited' you and had already been planning to go. Of course, most students were attending for some partying.

And although partying sounded good, you had other intentions in mind.

Your car rolled to a stop a few blocks away from Taehyung's house before you got out and started walking along the dark sidewalk. You could already hear the music and sounds of chatter from your current position, but you doubt anyone in the neighbourhood would complain about it. Taehyung's parents were the definition of rich, and messing with people like that was never a very smart option. The best they could do was pop in some ear plugs and wait the party out.

"Y/N?!" A familiar voice behind you called out.

Speaking of ear plugs...

You tried to fasten your pace, but Jiwoo was already in step beside you. There seemed to be no sign of the girls from earlier this time.

"Where are your goons?"

Her reply was quick.

"Where's your sobriety?"

You rolled your eyes, continuing to walk in silence. To your distaste, she didn't leave after that.

"Thanks a lot for advertising the divorce. You know how hard it was to keep something like that on the down low?" She scoffed, actually looking quite annoyed.

You raised an eyebrow, "you're really going to act like that after the chemo comment?"

"You started it. Don't act like some victim now."

It was your turn to scoff now, "you started it like 5 years ago."

"It was 7 years actually."

"Aww, do you have a calendar you use to mark our fights too? I'm straight, before you get any ideas."

"Oh screw off, Y/N."

Thankfully, there was a beat of silence after that. You cursed yourself for parking so far away from the house, but it was usually useful for when the police were called and they started impounding cars. At this point, you'd rather take the police than Jiwoo's presence.

After a moment Jiwoo spoke up again, "I saw you with Jimin in second period."

She grinned.

"A manwhore and a junkie... it's a match made in heaven."

You almost celebrated when Taehyung's house finally came into view. Without even bothering to look in Jiwoo's direction, you scurried into the house, but not before hearing her cackle like some kind of witch.

You genuinely feel bad for whoever decides to curse their life by marrying her. Maybe she'll do everyone a favour and stay single forever, though you doubt she'd be that gracious.

Even though it was relatively early for the party, the living room was packed with people. Students you recognized from school were chatting and laughing together while others played games and took shots. You were pretty sure you even caught one or two college kids here and there too.

As you scanned the room, your eyes were naturally drawn to a head of bright orange hair sitting on one of the couches lazily as a girl sat on his lap with a smile. Jimin looked good, with a simple white t-shirt and ripped jeans. A silver earring, similar to Yoongi's, hung from one of his ears.

For a second, you thought his eyes caught yours, but you turned away and started walking towards the kitchen before you could confirm. It didn't matter anyway, you weren't here for him.

The sight of alcohol had you smiling.

You were here for this.

You grabbed a cup and filled it with beer from one of the tanks sitting on the counter. There were a few empty bottles of vodka and even wine sprawled around, implying that if you looked hard enough you might be able to snag a bottle. But you weren't very keen on getting too hammered tonight.

While deep in thought, you didn't notice Jimin slip in front of you until he started talking.

"Having fun?" He asked, a red plastic cup filled with a clear substance already in his hand. His hair was dishevelled and messy, like someone had run their hands through it many times, and a silver necklace shaped like an upside down spade hung from his neck.

The necklace forced you to look down at his loose sleeveless white shirt, which did a poor job at hiding his toned figure. The muscles in his arm were flexed as they held the cup, making it hard to focus on the one in your own hand. You turned towards the kitchen's counter, trying to shift your mind to something else.

But Jimin seemed to notice that, making him smirk.

"Like what you see?" He asked innocently as he slowly made his way towards you. When he finally came to a stop, he was so close you could feel the heat of his chest on your arm while his hand rested on the countertop right in front of you, "you don't have to look away, kitten. I don't mind giving it to you if you want it."

Your sharp gaze met his eyes once again, which were also a lot closer than you had initially thought. With his chest near your arm, his hot breath against your ear and his ruffled hair, you didn't blame yourself when you felt a hesitant shiver run down your spine.

Park Jimin was a jerk, but god was he a hot jerk.

But was this something you wanted? Although you weren't exactly opposed to the idea, you didn't exactly want it either. It had been a long time since you last had sex, and the thought of doing it again with someone like Jimin, aka someone with a lot of recent experience, was kind of nerve wracking. You'd rather just get high.

"Believe it or not, I didn't come to this party because of you," you said finally.

"Oh?" His gaze lingered on your lips before raising back to your eyes, "then why are you here?"

For the free alcohol, and hopefully free drugs, would've been your honest answer.

"Why does anyone attend parties? To have some fun of course."

Jimin regarded you for a moment before replying, "there are different types of fun at parties. Which one are you here for?"

You shrugged, "not the type you're interested in."

With that, you filled your cup to the top before walking out of the room, eyes peeled for a dealer. Your talk with Jimin had heightened your desire for some fun, which for you was to feel nothing at all. All you had to do was find a dealer that would be willing to give you a sample.

Thankfully, with your experience, finding someone was no problem. In less than 10 minutes you had found and flagged down a man that seemed much too old to be at a high school party. You chuckled inwardly at the sudden thought of 'cheating' on Yoongi with another dealer, but Yoongi wasn't always available, especially now that the police were on his back.

After getting the dealer to trust that you weren't a cop, which was stupid considering your age, he eyed you with a more comfortable stare.

"Okay, what do you need?" He asked patiently.

You paused for a moment, thinking it over. You already had gotten some Adderall from Yoongi earlier today, and you were craving something a little stronger. But you were in the mood of something relaxing, not stimulating.

Then the thought of heroin popped into your mind. You were always careful when it came to opioids since they're insanely addictive, but the last time you had some was a pretty long time ago. You were sure the gap was long enough for it to be safe to take it again. Besides, the feeling it gave was always amazing, like every cell in your body was relaxed and calm.

You'd like that at the moment, and you told him just that.

He excused himself for a second, rushing into a room before returning again with a bag of fine white powder. He held it out to you discretely, but not before announcing the price.

"I want a sample first," you said, but the man shook his head.

"Sorry, no samples."

That made you scoff, "What? How am I supposed to know if it's good or not? Besides this is heroin I'm talking about, not weed."

"Either give me the money and take it or don't. I don't do samples."

"No thanks, I'll look somewhere else."

You turned and started making your way away from him, feeling a bit irritated, but not very angry. You've never had an issue with finding samples at a party. You just seemed to have picked the wrong guy.

But soon enough, after dealing with multiple dealers that refused, you huffed in frustration.

"What is up today with you guys? Why is everyone suddenly so against samples?" You rambled to one of them. He just gave you a tired look.

"Supply has been low lately. I've heard that the police are closing in on some of our harbour guys- uh, major suppliers, if you don't understand. A lot of them have had to lay low because of it, meaning guys like us aren't getting a lot of supply lately. We can't afford to give out samples right now."

So Yoongi wasn't the only one in a tight spot at the moment. Turns out a lot of dealers are suffering right now. That almost made you groan out loud.

"So that's a hard no to the sample?" You said, causing the guy to raise an eyebrow.

"Just pay up, don't be cheap," he said with crossed arms.

"It's a party. Obviously, I didn't bring any money with me, I've never needed it."

The guy just shook his head and walked away, leaving you alone and needy.

No samples. No dealers. You couldn't contact Yoongi at the moment either, which meant drugs were now out of the question. So much for having fun.

You downed your cup of beer, though you knew the most it would do was leave you buzzed. You could always start searching for the vodka you had seen earlier, but your dad was coming back tomorrow and you didn't want to be dealing with a killer hangover when meeting him.

While your mind did back flips trying to figure out a way to salvage the night, your gaze caught Jimin at the other side of the room. He was laughing with a girl, rarely taking a sip from his cup as he listened to the girl talk about things you couldn't hear.

You've heard a lot of people say that taking heroin feels like having 1000 orgasms at once. Obviously, there was nothing else that could achieve such a feeling.

But there was definitely something that came close.

As if hearing your thoughts, Jimin's eyes, which had been scanning the room nonchalantly, fell on your figure. When you didn't look away, he tilted his head, almost like he was asking a question.

Your gaze flickered to the staircase before landing back on him. Hoping he'd get the hint, you started making your way up them, not waiting to see if he was following.

Asking for sex was one thing you would not grant Park Jimin. If he wanted it, he was going to have to be smart enough to get it.

After checking in on a few rooms, you finally entered one that wasn't occupied with a moaning mess of bodies. It was luxurious, with a king sized bed wrapped in comfy looking sheets, a fluffy carpet coating most of the floor and a mini chandelier hanging overhead.

It made you wonder what the hell Taehyung's parents did for a living.

Before you could ponder any further, the sound of the room’s door opening and then closing quickly pulled you out of your thoughts, which was then followed by the sound of light footsteps treading carefully on the wooden floor.

When the footsteps softened because of the carpet, you turned around to find Jimin standing barely a foot away from you, his gaze focused on your still form. Now that the prospect of sex was a lot more likely, you let yourself properly enjoy the sight of him. Your eyes first started with his body, taking in the toned muscles that peaked through his white shirt and then his thick thighs that were exposed through his ripped jeans.

"It looks like you've changed your mind," he said, taking a step closer, causing you to take a step back.

But Jimin simply took another step forward until you could feel the cold wall press into your back. One of his hands leaned against the wall behind your head while the other leaned against the wall beside your stomach, caging you in the process. It forced you to focus on his face now, rather than his body. His orange hair was still dishevelled, framing his face perfectly. Despite the softness of his cheeks, his jawline was sharp, along with his eyes and nose. With how close he was, you could see every dip and pore in his face, yet somehow you couldn't find a single flaw on his skin.

His eyes scanned your own body and face the same way you had barely a second ago, pupils dilating in desire.

"Can I touch you, kitten?"

Ignoring the nickname, your gaze travelled down to his lips, which looked so soft and plump. You wanted to know how they would feel on your skin, especially on your own lips.

You nodded slowly before breathing out your answer, "yes."

Jimin wasted no time pulling you closer towards him. He let his hands run down your arms and rest at your waist as his eyes flickered between your lips and neck, as if conflicted as to which one to start with.

As he pulled your waist against him, his lips started on your neck, leaving behind light kisses that gradually became more and more heated. His hand rubbed circles against your hip, in an oddly reassuring manner, while his lips started to lower to your collarbone.

Your breathing started to intensify as Jimin left open mouthed kisses against your neck and jaw.

"I was hoping you'd change your mind," he breathed against your neck. A new set of pleasuring shivers travelled down your spine.

"Why's that?"

His hand, which had been resting on your hip, traveled upwards to cup your cheek, "I wasn't joking when I said you had a pretty face."

The hand cupping your cheek suddenly pulled you forward as Jimin connected your lips with his. They were so soft and plump as they moved against yours, causing your stomach to flutter in satisfaction. You never realised just how pleasurable making out was until today.

Jimin’s lips travelled back to your neck as he continued to drop heated kisses against your skin. You could still feel his hand rubbing circles into your hip while the other brushed against your cheek to hold your head steady.

Feeling a little hazy, your hand disappeared into your pocket to bring out the white bottle Yoongi had given you this morning. As Jimin continued to wreck your neck in the most pleasurable way possible, you opened the bottle behind his back and moved it to down a pill or two.

But the sound of its opening caused Jimin to look up until he eyed the bottle in your hand.

"Are those drugs?" He asked suddenly, pulling away from you slightly.

"No they're just Skittles," you replied sarcastically, moving the bottle towards your lips once again. But before you could pop even one pill, Jimin swiped the bottle out of your hand and chucked it into the trash can across the room.

"Wh- Hey! What the hell?!" You protested, but he gently pushed you back against the wall.

"No drugs in the bedroom."

Before you could scoff he closed the distance between the two of you once again, letting his lips brush against your ear, "you're in my bedroom, Y/N. That means you follow my rules."

As if to make a point, he brushed his fingers against the inside of your clothed thigh, pulling a heavy breath from your lips.

Your irritation soon morphed into pleasure as Jimin brought his lips to yours once again. One of his hands was still rubbing circles against your hip, but the other had moved down to your waist to pull you closer to him.

“Why did you-” he paused at the sight of you as he pulled back for a moment. Swollen lips, messy hair, heavy pants… Jimin didn’t think he’d ever encountered someone hotter in his entire life.

He cleared his throat, hoping you didn’t notice the pause, “why’d you change your mind?”

You took him in for a moment. His rust-coloured hair was dishevelled, with a few strands falling onto his forehead, while his plush lips separated to accommodate his heavy breaths.

You shrugged.

“I wanted to try a different kind of fun,”

“Fun?” He repeated with a grin.

You felt his hand circle your wrist before he guided you away from the wall. From this angle, you got to enjoy his back muscles peeking from his white shirt before he turned back to you.

“Clothes off. Get on the bed,” he instructed, pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it to a corner.

“I’ll show you what fun is, kitten.”

Next Chapter...

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dis0rderly-cl0wn-nerd · 6 months ago

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Crack A Smile and Cut Your Mouth

Ledger!Joker Origin Story

Chapter Five - Hell On Earth

Warnings: Violence, war, blood, (light?) gore

Chapter Summary: Jack waits outside the promotion board and as he prepares, he thinks on his deployments so far.

Author’s Note: Okay it's currently 1:40 am. I stayed up late writing this and after I post I'm going to bed 🫠 This chapter is everything the title suggests. Trigger warning I guess? If war and all that it entails triggers you then I would suggest skipping ahead. Just know that the war messed up poor Jack pretty badly and you can imagine why. But the worst is yet to come... I just love foreshadowing ;)

Taglist: @alittlesmartcookie @furisodespirit

If you would like to be added to the taglist please let me know! <3

< Previous - Next >

Picking at his nails nervously, Jack sat outside the promotion board room waiting to be called in. Today was a big day. If things went well, and they probably would, he was getting promoted to Sergeant. In the scheme of things this wasn’t such a big deal. But it was to Jack. This would be the first time he was put in a true leadership position.

Jack had been in the army for almost 5 years now and completed two tours in Afghanistan, returning from his latest one several weeks ago. The war made him a different man. He was rougher, tougher, and more resourceful. His eyes became keen and his hearing became sharp. He had no choice but to adapt. It was either that or be killed.

Afghanistan was the closest thing to hell on earth Jack thought he could get. One of the worst parts was when nothing would happen for days but they had to be ready because the enemy could strike at any time. They’d start to let their guard down and then, seemingly out of nowhere, the chaos would ensue.

The gunfire, the explosions, the bodies… Men that were here one minute and then gone the next. And the screaming…so much screaming. All things that Jack would never forget no matter how hard he tried.

Resting his head on the rock behind him, Jack blinked as the bright sun shone in his eyes and a bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. His squad had been sitting here for hours, watching and waiting, endlessly waiting, for something to happen.

He sighed quietly to himself and gazed up at the cloudless sky as a hawk soared overhead. He felt a small pang of envy at watching the bird fly so freely. A weird sense of longing washed over him as he imagined what it would be like to be the bird. No war, no responsibilities, the rush of the wind against him, and a break from the fucking hot sun.

Jack stopped himself in disbelief. Was he really so miserable he was jealous of a stupid bird? He was losing it already. He chalked it up to the intense heat. It had a way of making everyone question their sanity.

Time dragged on and still nothing. Slumped against the rock, he counted the limbs on a nearby dead tree, bored out of his mind and sweating in places he didn’t know he could.

Then he heard it. A slight whoosh went past their heads and then boom. A grenade went off several feet in front of them. Many of them, including Jack, were smart enough to move away in time and get behind the rocks. Unfortunately some of them were too slow and got caught up in the blast.

“Fall back!” The squad’s sergeant shouted.

As he ran, Jack didn’t dare look down out of fear of seeing the bits and pieces of the barely recognizable corpses strewn across the sand. He turned his head just before he climbed in the humvee and saw a truckload of their attackers speed by, jeering in another language. He was too shocked and disturbed to care.

Jack sighed as he simmered on the memory. The grenade incident was something he always thought back on since it was the first time he truly experienced the horrors of war. The images of the fallen soldiers and the bloody mess they left behind would be forever imprinted in his brain. He was 20 years old at the time. If only his younger naive self knew that the horrors would only get worse from then on.

To Jack one of the most tragic aspects of the war was the innocents. The most prominent example he could think of was during his second tour when his platoon had to travel through a village to get to their destination. That day would never leave him either.

As the humvee ran over another rock, Jack banged his head on the ceiling for the umpteenth time that day. Thank God he was wearing his helmet. That didn’t stop him from being annoyed though. He rolled his eyes discreetly out of his superior’s line of sight and glanced out the window at their surroundings.

The village they were passing through wasn’t as active as others they’d encountered before. A woman or two could be seen walking past them and a few kids here and there were playing in the streets. They paused their games and stared up at the military vehicles with interest as they drove by. The lack of activity seemed odd to Jack but he paid it no mind as the line of humvees continued down the road.

The eerie stillness of the village ended abruptly as the humvee in the front burst into flames. The other vehicles slammed on their brakes to avoid colliding with the explosion, tossing the soldiers aboard out of their seats.

“Jesus! What the hell just happened?” A dazed private sitting behind Jack exclaimed.

His answer came when a series of cries rang out in the streets and shots were fired. They were being ambushed. No wonder the village was so lifeless. The residents knew what was coming.

Jack heard someone in authority shout. “Get down!”

He couldn’t decipher who it was but they didn’t have to tell him twice. He crouched down between the seats and took cover. Something busted through the window above his head and sent glass shards everywhere. He realized they were rocks as more flew through the window.

The attack was only getting worse and more deadly by the minute so eventually the platoon had to leave the safety of their vehicles and fight back.

Jack slung his rifle off his shoulder and fired a few rounds, effectively hitting his targets the majority of the time. He blamed his poor shots on the adrenaline coursing through his veins. He hid behind one of the humvee’s back tires as bullets started to move in his direction.

This was utter hell. He was sure he was gonna die at any moment. But somehow he made it out alive. The battle dragged on and on until finally the platoon began to gain some ground and overtake their attackers. What was remaining of the enemy was killed while a select few managed to retreat and get away.

Once it was safe, Jack stood up and slung his rifle back over his shoulder. He exhaled in relief, glad the firefight was over. He walked over to what was left of his group and waited to be told what to do.

The smell of smoke and burning flesh gave the air a pungent odor, making Jack’s eyes water. He scanned the area solemnly, noting all of the fallen soldiers and the structural damage caused to the village. Suddenly an ear splitting scream broke out behind him, causing him and a few others to jump.

The scream came from a grieving woman, hunched over what looked like her young son. Jack froze. Civilian deaths were always the worst and he’d witnessed many, but this was totally different. This was a child. The boy barely had a chance to live and his life was ended simply by being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

A little girl ran to the mother’s side and knelt beside what appeared to be her brother. Tears streamed down her face. Blood was splattered on her clothes and her dark hair. She looked up in Jack’s direction with innocent eyes that shattered his soul.

The mother picked up her son’s body, turned, and carried him away, with the little girl following close behind. He knew he wasn’t responsible for the boy’s death but he couldn’t help but feel awful.

“Napier! Get over here!” Jack’s superior shouted, bringing him out of his daze.

He jumped a mile. Was he really standing there that long?

“Oh, sorry sir.” He said in a soft tone and followed the other soldiers back to the now damaged humvees.

The memory of the little girl stayed with Jack for a while after the attack in the village. It was hard to forget those eyes. Even to the present day he thought back on her sometimes. There were so many like her. Innocent children caught up in a conflict that wasn’t their fault. He recognized that sometimes civilian deaths were unavoidable and were even a necessary evil at times but it just felt so wrong. Especially when kids were involved.

He glanced at the clock on the wall and took a deep breath. Anytime now he could be called in for the promotion board. Thinking about bad memories was not helping his nerves at all. Of course his mind had other plans.

It’s like he was intent on torturing himself. He couldn’t help it. The war was always fresh on his mind. He was getting promoted soon and in a few months he would be up for a third deployment. Combat never left his brain.

He had no clue how he was gonna adjust back into civilian life when the time came. He’d cross that bridge when he got there. But something told him it was going to be a lot easier said than done.

A First Sergeant appeared in the doorway and informed Jack that they were ready for him.

Okay, here goes… He thought as he stood up and followed the man inside the boardroom.

#ledger joker #jack napier #the dark knight #heath ledger #nolanverse #cross posted on ao3 #my writing

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doomandgloomfromthetomb · 10 months ago

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The Modern Lovers - Boston Center for the Arts, Boston, Massachusetts, February 23, 1974

The end of the Original Modern Lovers? This might've been the band's final official gig — thanks to Jesse J for passing along a recently surfaced tape. Jesse calls the recording's quality "atrocious," and he's not wrong (though it's as much the fault of the venue's cavernous acoustics as it is the tape's). Whatever, atrocious quality audience recordings are what Doom & Gloom is all about, am I right? So adjust your ears and take a trip back to a bitter New England winter just about 50 years ago.

Historic/interesting stuff! The set sees the Modern Lovers attempting to bring together their older, more VU-inspired material with the quieter, more innocent songs that Jonathan Richman was writing. There are tunes that will certainly be familiar — "Roadrunner," "Government Center," "Pablo Picasso," etc. And then there are several strong songs that — as far as I know — don't appear anywhere else in the Modern Lovers' discography (officially or unofficially). And hey, it all works pretty well; in some alternate universe, the band might've been able to reconcile their two sides and finally record a proper debut LP. It was not to be, alas — soon, Jerry Harrison would head back to Harvard to get his master's degree in architecture. And today, he is renowned as one of the world's greatest architects ... right???

Of course, we have to note the truly bonkers lineup — a heretofore unknown alignment with the Velevet (sic) Underground and George Thorogood galaxies. Though if the description below is correct (though the source says the date was Valentine's Day), Moe Tucker didn't even get to play because of George. That's truly b-b-b-b-bad. But, as Jesse pointed out, Jonathan and Moe did make it into the studio a few days later to record their charming rendition of the VU's "I'm Sticking With You." Was Moe's band really called the Bloody Virgins?! Hmmm, further investigation is warranted.

An eyewitness account? Although the Modern Lovers broke up in 1973, they reformed in '74 (maybe late '73) with a different drummer but that didn't last long because the drummer hated Jonathan. They did at least one concert: Valentine's Day 1974. I was there early with Jonathan so I got to see all the sound checks for all three bands. Unfortunately, the idiot promoters let the mediocre opening band, George Thoroughlynogood and the Delaware Destroyers, play for one hour and 45 minutes. They should have had 25 minutes max. Thus, the Modern Lovers could only play one hour. And the second band couldn't play at all, which is very unfortunate, as it was Mo Tucker's excellent (and totally unknown) all-girl band the Bloody Virgins (but me and Jonathan got to watch their excellent 25-minute sound check). Seven or either years ago, an internet music forum was discussing Mo, and I talked about seeing that band. A noted music critic (and friend of Mo) was pissed off and said that Mo never had any such band and that I was a liar. Luckily, I still had the concert ad and uploaded a photo of it to the forum.

Ernie Brooks: At one of the last gigs we did, when we played “Roadrunner,” we still didn’t have a record out, but that was always a catchy song, and we actually got some applause—and then Jonathan said, “People like that song too much; I don’t think we should do it anymore….” I think it was just part of Jonathan’s natural inclination that when things seemed to be going well—to go against it. He was very contrary. He was very difficult. I mean, anybody who is on to something new has some element of being a contrarian, because they’re rejecting the status quo. They’re doing something in the way they’ve figured out how to do it—and they don’t want to hear something different, even if it could make things better. When Jonathan said, “I won’t play 'Roadrunner' anymore,” it was pretty much the classic case—you can’t really get any more contrarian than that.

#jonathan richman #the modern lovers #moe tucker

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blackevermore · 22 days ago

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x Tales In the Trade of Two Heirs ( Also on A03)

{ Set in Place the Things You Shouldn't Say } ( this one was so not proofread sorry)

Summary:

[Sequel to Trades In The Tales of Candy]

Years have passed since the events of the factory and those who live inside it. The small town has grown bored, if the man behind the wall wasn't going to do anything then maybe he should just leave. They thought. Unknown to them the candy man had found another grey hair, it was time to finally find an heir.

Notes: Hey....I'm starting over this book. It was shit balls that first run and now I'm older and wise and I know I can do better. And I will. Welcome aboard

Warning: (Look on A03 for the full list) None yet

Word Count: 8.2K

Taylor had skipped therapy last week and this week because of this contest. On the surface level, it meant nothing and she could easily make them up. Underneath, however, Taylor was a mess for messing up her routine and she felt antsy as she did her best to put everything together so her plan went smoothly. It was nerve wracking. It went as such:

Get the morning delivery scheduled

Placement of the money

Make sure that Mr Buggles knew who Charlie was

Make sure Charlie got the right bar

Find a hiding spot to watch it all unfold

As the sun began to barely show over the horizon Taylor raced to the shipping department for the last ticket. Once it was in her hands, she hurried down the stairs from the dock and into the winter wonderland of England. Unknown to her, Wonka watched as she marched through the snow from his bedroom window. A small smile lined his face as he could only imagine how excited Taylor was to deliver the last ticket to the ultimate winner. Wonka happily hummed to himself and turned away to go back to his breakfast. He knew that when she returned, she would be up in arms blabbing about how she set up the whole thing. A part of him was just as excited to know all about it.

In a bedroom down the hall, Scarlet was once again packing her suitcase and briefly chatting on the phone.

“My brother is insane.” A deep voice yawned from the phone.

“You’re insane for still being awake, what time is it there?” Scarlet huffed finally getting everything she needed in the suitcase and shoving it back into her closet. Wilfred had told her he couldn’t sleep which resulted in him waiting for the six-hour time difference between them to align so he could call his beloved.

“1:49 am, barely the start of the night.” Wilfred chuckled and Scarlet joined him.

“You’re fifty years old,” Scarlet said.

“And you’re finally thirty, now you can join me in the old people's home.” Wilfred playfully bit back.

“Old people go to bed at reasonable times,” Scarlet added, smiling to herself as she finally sat down on her bed and leaned over to get comfortable.

“I’m a vampire,” Wilfred shifted on the phone and then relaxed again with a sigh. “You should know that already, my dear, you’re living with my brother Nosferatu.” The couple laughed.

“I can’t wait to see you again.” Scarlet whispered into the phone hoping Wilfred could hear how she yearned for him. It had been a year since the couple was able to see each other and have time for one another. Wonka had Scarlet travelling for a bit to handle a few ins and outs, Wilfred was investing more time into his dental studies and was invited to several conventions in honour of himself ( which people still mistaken for his father). He had even visited Wesley in Switzerland and went on a brief vacation to Africa. It was adventurous for them separately but desperately they craved one another. They were planning on having a very important talk soon that was long overdue.

Scarlet was planning on leaving the factory for good. As much as she had grown to love Taylor and their time together, she was ready to leave and continue the old life she longed for. She wanted to be with Wilfred and settle down.

“Soon, my love,” Wilfred cooed. “Soon you’ll be tired of seeing me.”

Scarlet weakly laughed and then closed her eyes to imagine how gentle life would be once she was with Wilfred again. The time they spent together when they finally found each other again was so meaningful. Scarlet could not imagine not having it for the rest of her life. Out of all the bad things she had ever done in life, meeting Wilfred was the only good thing she had left to hold on to. She only hoped Taylor would understand that.

Outside Taylor looked around for Charlie trying to make sure he was nowhere near the area as she set up. She knew Charlie would come soon to try and sell papers, so she had to work fast. After setting up the money with sticky taffy in the trash bin next to Charlie's usual spot, she walked across the street to the candy store. Inside was ghostly as the owner had yet to open for the day. Mr Buggles was the owner and also a victim of Wonka's ruthless monopoly.

"Well if it isn't Wonka's little troublemaker." The old man called from the back in a playful, friendly tease. Wonka had recently visited Buggles when he heard that the man's wife died. That little old lady always had a big heart for Wonka during his troubled times, and she was the one to ask Wonka personally not to kill her husband when she found out he was a part of the spying. Wonka had high respect for the woman and her courage so he spared them and paid them handsomely to run their shop under his management. Also during that visit, he had introduced Taylor and made it clear that she was nothing but trouble. Since then every time Taylor went out by herself into the town, she would stop by Mr Buggles to say hello and buy something.

Taylor smiled at the man and shook her head as she reached into her bag from under her cloak. She pulled the Wonka bar that held the ticket and a picture out and placed it on the high counter. Mr Buggles leaned over the counter to look at the picture. He cocked an eyebrow and then looked over to the girl.

"I thought the contest was fair?" He placed the photo above him pinning it to the hidden cubby.

"When has he ever been fair?" Taylor was going to say Wonka's name until she heard the door open. They both looked towards the customers that came in and then back to each other. Mr Buggles took the candy bar and hid it as well with a shake of his head.

"So what's the plan?" The old man took off his glasses and cleaned them with his apron. He was a fairly well put together older man in Taylor’s opinion, lucky to still be alive.

"You make sure that kid gets that bar, that's it. Just for your trouble, I'll send you something a bit later after all this." Taylor wiggled her fingers in the air with the indication of special treats. Without it being known to the head bitch in charge, Taylor secretly kept Wonka’s production of chocolate cigars in the works. She used them as trading bargains (on top of telling Wonka all of the dirty business said victim was doing) and it always worked. It was a trick of the trade and surprisingly every man that had a taste of Wonka’s cigars was addicted.

Mr Buggles smirked and held up a hand, "No need for that. I'm happy to do this for ya." The old man didn't need anything back, he was grateful for the little things ( ya know like staying alive).

"Thank you, I have no idea when he'll be in but make sure that you keep an eye on the door. You should see him when he sets up across the street to sell papers." Taylor thumbed back towards the entrance right as someone was about to enter. When she heard the bell, she quickly whipped around to see if it was Charlie. When it wasn't, she held her chest and let out a breath.

"Also make sure no one gets that bar but him. It's his birthday." Taylor knew she could trust the old man. She needed this to be a magically tooth-rooting perfect for Charlie. At that moment she wished someone would go over the top for her birthday.

"Don't worry, I got it covered. Now off you go, you're holding up my line." The old man narrowed his eyes and smirked. Taylor was about to say something back when she heard the sound of someone clearing their throat behind her. She quickly apologized and moved before whispering goodbye to Mr Buggles and leaving.

The hiding spot in mind was the cafe that was on the same side as the money but a reasonable distance so she wouldn't be seen. From the chair window, Taylor could get a clear shot down the street. To settle herself, she ordered something to drink and played on her phone to pass the time. Just as she was about to beat a level in a game when a message popped across her screen.

MJ's Lost Brother: How's the scouting?

Cev: It's going. Nothing yet.

MJ's Lost Brother: Why not return to the factory?

Cev: Awe you miss me already?

MJ's Lost Brother: Nevermind, please stay out and freeze.

Cev: Welp there goes the moment. You are such a mood ruiner

MJ's Lost Brother: Says you. You never know how to keep a mood going.

Cev: At least my bad leg doesn't stop me from performing

MJ's Lost Brother: At least I got a bad leg at the right age, how’s that bad hip you got in your 20s?

Cev: That's why your dick is small

MJ's Lost Brother: And yet I know how to make you scream my name.

Scarlett Grey-Hansson: THIS IS THE GROUP CHAT

Taylor gasped, causing others in the cafe to look at her. She lowered herself in her chair and looked over the name on the contact. It was indeed the factory group chat that not only had the main three in it but also Wonka's brothers and a few personal little workers. A chain of messages started firing between Scarlet and Wilfred scolding the other couple. A few Oompa Loompas sent emojis, Dave sent a skull face, and Doris removed herself from the chat.

‘Oh god, not Doris’ Taylor groaned and sent a quick 'sorry' and closed the chat quickly, not wanting to see if anyone else responded. She put her phone down on the table and grabbed her drink to take a sip. Now all there was to do was wait for Charlie to show up and follow his yellow brick road to his biggest dream. What Taylor hadn't expected was that today Charlie wouldn't be selling papers in the morning. Nor would he show up a few hours after twelve. She had already ordered three more drinks and her phone was nearly dead from all the games she was playing. During that time she even called her mother for a small white lie update on life. Something she's been trying to do more. She missed her family.

When she checked the cafe clock, it was almost four o'clock, and Taylor was beginning to get tired of waiting. She turned back towards the window to make sure no one had seen the money, but that wouldn't do, so she got up, grabbed her stuff and went towards the trash bin to look. When she saw it was still there, she sighed and prayed that Charlie would show up soon to get it (or at least have this whole plan work). She made her way back over to the shop with Mr.Buggles. She didn't have to open the door to see him shaking his head 'no show' through the glass. Taylor smiled and nodded and motioned for him to keep watching. The old man nodded and turned back towards the incoming customers. With that, Taylor turned on her heels and started walking back towards the factory.

Today was supposed to be magical and special. But with the uncoordinated time schedules, everything seemed like it was a loss of hope. The girl couldn't help but feel a bit of panic settle in that maybe she had messed up. Perhaps she should have taken Charlie his gift. It wasn't like she didn't know where he lived, it was obviously the shack in the middle of the town. Taylor knew if she could, she would have been kicking herself in the ass. There was still time to turn around and grab everything and march over to the Bucket house and give Charlie his golden ticket. Taylor stopped halfway between her set up and the factory and thought for a moment. She slowly turned around, biting her lip at the idea. Would Charlie even take the candy bar if she gave it to him? Or would he insist that he wanted to buy one with his own money? He couldn't be that mature and selfless as a child? Could he? Taylor sure hoped not if he was going to be Willy Wonka's heir to a vast empire.

Taylor was too lost in her thoughts of Charlie's selflessness and Wonka's wacky idea of an heir to notice a bouncing Charlie Bucket running across the street to the shop.

She didn't even see that the boy had gotten the ticket, with a face of shock and disbelief. It wasn't until she heard someone yelling 'Run home, boy! Run and don't look back!' she turned around to see what was going on.

As if in slow motion Taylor watched as a very happy Charlie Bucket running with all his might back home. The world seemed to glow at the child's happiness. Taylor felt the warm wave of joy fill her soul as her plan worked. She told herself she did good. She didn’t mess up and everything worked out. With a newfound sense of happiness, Taylor turned back towards the factory and hurried herself with the biggest smile on her face.

She couldn't help but let out whoops and hollers in victory. Even after slipping back into the courtyard and tracking towards the entrance Taylor was beaming with excitement. She couldn't even make it through the long hallway as she was stopped by Wonka in his therapy session. This was still the dumbest area to have such things. Taylor fought off the awkwardness of seeing Jacques and waved at the little worker and then at Wonka. Wonka turned his head, slightly annoyed that there was a disturbance, but when he saw Taylor waving at him and Jacques, he sighed and sat up.

"I guess that will do for the day, Jacques, thank you." Wonka fixed his robe and fixed his hair. The little worker nodded before giving his salute to the couple and walking away. Taylor smiled then wasted no time in waltzing over and sitting on Wonka's lap.

"I did it! Charlie got it! It took fucking forever, and I almost gave up hope. But as soon as I turned around, I saw him with the bar in his hand running home." Taylor kissed Wonka's cheeks and giggled. She was still running on happiness; Wonka couldn't stop the contagious feeling inside him as he smiled and kissed her cheek in return. She was so cute when she was happy. Smiling, Wonka loved it when she smiled.

"Good job, my dear, you managed to succeed. But yet I know nothing about this little boy." Wonka said, shifting so he could support Taylor’s weight on his good leg. Taylor noticed and tried to get up but Wonka stopped her and kept her placed.

“ Don’t worry, you will find him just as brilliant as I do. He might even make your heart grow, you Grinch.” Taylor winked and Wonka only laughed at her mild insult.

“You have so much hope in this child.” Wonka was curious. Taylor spoke as if this was her very own child and she was finally introducing them. It was oddly a positive feeling, as if they were playing pretend in their big doll house.

"You sound like a proud mother." Wonka teasingly kissed her jaw.

“I am!” Taylor spoke before she thought about what he said. “Wait no…that’s not…” She quickly tried to retract what she said but then rolled her eyes with a laugh.

“Let’s get a dog,” Taylor said jokingly.

“We already have one, her name is Scarlet.” Wonka leaned in and stole a kiss from Taylor’s lips. They shared a few more before Taylor pushed back on Wonka’s chest and removed herself from his lap. Wonka was unpleasant as he started to crave her physical presence against him. He frowned and shot her a look and Taylor smiled softly.

"You have a big day tomorrow, Sir. You need to rest and prepare for the large crowd that is going to circle the factory. The last thing you need is to have a panic attack in front of people." Taylor said. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and stood proudly in front of her lover. Wonka huffed and stood up, cracking his back in a satisfying snap crackle pop. He grumbled about getting old, and Taylor patted his shoulder.

"I will not have a panic attack." Wonka finally said after gathering himself. He held out his elbow for Taylor to link her arm around. The young lady accepted it, and they started towards the candy room.

"When was the last time you had strangers in your factory?" Taylor asked, looking up towards him. Wonka made an uneasy face and rolled his shoulders.

"Eh." That was all Wonka could reply with.

"You're nervous."

"Am not!"

"You only have early therapy sessions when you're anxious. You have therapy on Mondays. It’s Friday the day before the first of February.” Taylor said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Maybe I just needed a thinking session, Jacques is good at helping out with thoughts." Wonka tried to sound confident, sounding like nothing was the matter. But it failed as Taylor unlocked her arm and shot out in front of him to stop his walking.

"It's okay to be nervous, ya know, people are scary, and this is a huge step for you. You let me and Scarlet in, hell you even let in your brothers, but this is a whole new ballgame." Taylor reached out a hand and cupped his cheek and Wonka looked away nervously. The only time she saw him like this was when they were stuck running circles around each other. This was weighing in on him, and Taylor had to do her best to keep him floating. At times like this, Taylor was so happy to see the more human side of Wonka. The little kid who wanted to do more but was scared. Wonka needed a push and Taylor was going to try to do so for things to go as planned. For the sake of the factory and the sake of her lover.

"Hey, you big baby," Taylor called out. Wonka snapped his eyes towards her and snarled.

"What?" He wasn't angry or annoyed by the teasing name, but he couldn't stop the venom that left his lips.

"I love you." Taylor stood on her tippy toes and pulled Wonka down so she could kiss him.

"I suppose I tolerate you more than most," Wonka said as he pulled away and winked. Taylor sighed with a smile and shook her head as she linked arms with him and continued their walk inside.

Outside of the factory down the long road to the shack of a house soft eyes watched. Charlie felt like his world was truly turning upside down the more he ran the ticket through his hands. Miss Taylor made his biggest dreams come true. Charlie did his best not to cry in front of his family when they all saw that Charlie won. He was even stronger when Grandpa Joe said he would be the one to take him and stood up from the bed for the first time in a long while.

But now that he was up in the attic area of his home away from everyone silent tears fell down his cheeks and onto his ratty sweater. Grandpa Joe was right, miraculous were real.

“Happy birthday Charlie Bucket,” Charlie told himself and pressed the ticket against his chest.

"There are so many people standing out there." Taylor said worryingly as she knew Wonka was making his way downstairs. So many people had gathered in the small town today. Taylor saw the crowd back to Charlie's house, it looked so small and swallowed up as more and more people tried to get around the shops to see the big moment.

"What did you expect? The world loves him and everything he makes." Scarlet scuffed.

Taylor had noticed that Scarlet’s attitude had been sour for a while. She wanted to ask what was the matter but never knew when was a good time. Now was better than never, so Taylor turned towards the blond.

“Scarlet, what’s wrong? You’ve been in a foul mood since we secured the crew.” Taylor tried to sound as indifferent as possible not to stir up the other.

Scarlet stiffened a bit then bit her lip as she thought of what to say. Taylor could see that the other was struggling to let something out. Scarlet puffed her cheeks and pushed out the air in her lungs then rolled her shoulder back to straighten up.

“ I have something to talk to you about but now is not the time, okay?” Scarlet didn’t look at Taylor and it made Taylor nervous. Was it a good talk or a bad talk? Taylor tried to think if she had done anything to upset Scarlet but nothing came to mind.

“Taylor, it's okay, you didn’t do anything. We will talk later.” Scarlet reached out and took the other’s hand in hers and then finally turned and looked into her eyes. Taylor weakly smiled and nodded then turned back towards the window of the sunroom. They would have watched closer in Wonka’s office but then everyone would have seen them. The sunroom had reflective screens where you could see out but no one could see in.

Scarlet wasn't as worried as Taylor, nor anxious like Wonka when they all woke up to get ready. She was unbothered by the press gathering around the factory; all she wanted was for this tour to go smoothly and for the children to be ushered out as quickly as possible. Luckily for everyone, the parents of the children were able to come in as well, which meant Wonka wouldn't be able to chuck a child into a blender and dispose of them if they pissed him off.

"Did you really write calling cards for him?" Scarlet looked down and saw the uninvited crowd started to walk towards at the sound of the double gate opening. Finally, a muffled Wonka voice came through the outside speakers and the children hurried in.

"He was really out of it last night, so I made little cue cards to get him through it if he got stuck." Taylor rubbed the back of her neck as she remembered how tired she was from the loss of sleep.

"He is extraordinarily hopeless." Scarlet rolled her eyes and shook her head in disappointment that a grown man couldn't handle a few kids and their parents. "Is that Charlie?" Scarlet pointed towards the end of the line at the last boy with an old man staggering in. Taylor nodded and Scarlet hummed in approval. "Lovely."

Down below the children and their adult guides came to a halt and despite not being able to see their faces, the girl knew that something odd was happening.

"Oh god," Taylor pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a heavy sigh. The sound of Disney ride music started to play, and Taylor nearly lost her mind. "He fucking showed them the puppets."

"The fire puppets?" Scarlet tried to get a better look, but all she could see was the shine of the fire reflecting off the children's faces.

"I told him not to do that! Now those kids are going to be traumatized." Taylor turned away from the window grumbling under her breath how she was going to strangle the candyman.

"Well he is a traumatizing person, maybe he has to make sure Charlie can put up with the good, the bad, and the disturbing," Scarlet said.

Just then they saw Wonka walk out and stand beside the line of people like a ghost. Then when the music stopped, and smoke rose from the ground to the window they stood at, Wonka clapped. Scarlet was disgusted and couldn't bear to watch Wonka become bubbly at other's discomfort. She turned towards Taylor and took the girl's hand. Taylor didn't have to ask what was going on as she followed Scarlet to the elevator and down to ground level.

When they got to the candy room, they could hear Wonka talking and getting closer. Taylor hit a random button on the elevator so it would leave. Then they hurried to the farthest side of the room and up a set of hidden stairs that took them to the platform that hung over the room and out of sight. From above the girls could slide through the railing and dangle their feet over without anyone seeing them.

Just as they got comfortable Wonka opened the door to the room and the group funnelled in. Wonka's voice echoed around the room as he spoke of the wonders of his candy.

"Does he have to be so loud?" Scarlet rubbed her ears dramatically. Taylor smiled at her then back down just as Wonka awkwardly rummaged through his cards and then stopped. Taylor could see him lightly tilt his head to the side and slightly look up. The girls held their breath as Wonka continued to talk and did a dramatic wave of his arm turning around to the crowd. The girls flinched when Wonka caught sight of them and they continued talking to the group.

“I hate him,” Scarlet muttered.

They couldn't hear what the kids or parents were saying, but when Wonka told them his cannibal line, Taylor chuckled as their faces dropped. All except Charlie's who still wore a giant smile.

"Did you tell him to say that?" Scarlet poked at Taylor's side. Taylor quickly threw up her hands and shook her head no. "Jesus, that man is fucked up. They're kids!"

"He's a kid. That's his playground humour." Taylor responded, leaning against the rail in front of her to get comfortable. Soon the kids took off to explore their sugary wonderland with cheerful screams of delight. Wonka stood by the door, standing tall and proud of himself, he then slowly cocked his head to the side and looked towards the girls. Taylor knew he couldn't see them directly due to the lighting, but she waved anyway. Scarlet, for once, did as well. Wonka tipped the brim of his tophat before snapping back into character as a parent asked him a question.

"These kids are monsters, look at that Mike kid." Taylor pointed over to the spiky hair kid stomping the hell out of a sugar-coated gum-gum pumpkin.

"You're supposed to eat it!" Taylor yelled at full volume which caught the attention of Mike and a few others. Taylor quickly covered her mouth as everyone looked around and slowly gave up trying to find the person who yelled.

"Yeah, well haven't you wanted to break things too? I have." Scarlet ran silently on the last bit, remembering the few times she'd walked through this room with the pulling need to smash something.

"True," Taylor said. Unlike Scarlet, Taylor had taken a few giant candies as victims for her destructive needs. She never did it in the presence of Wonka or Oompa Loomps.

It caught Taylor's attention when Wonka finally started to walk down into the field towards the river. He stopped and looked towards his left and flinched when he caught the sight of Mrs Beauregarde stuffing her face. Taylor had no idea if the woman said anything or not, but she could tell when someone was flirting. Wonka had made it a point that Taylor learned how to read body language long ago. As she watched the blond woman below get closer to Wonka, Taylor's grip on the railing got tighter. A sense of anger and jealousy started to form in her stomach. The more the woman tried to get a reaction out of Wonka, Taylor was already plotting how to get rid of her.

Then the eerie thought crossed Taylor's mind that nearly made her scream in frustration. All the women that Taylor was aware of that ever came in contact with the same all looked a lot. Wonka had a type and Taylor was getting more and more upset that she had finally noticed it.

Lean blondes that were almost as tall as him or taller.

Elenor flashed in Taylor’s mind.

Then Mara.

And now this woman Mrs Beauregarde.

"Looks like you finally got comp," Scarlet giggled, completely unaware her friend was mentally spiralling. "Let's hope he doesn't like blonds anymore." Scarlet finally turned to look toward Taylor and her laughter died as she saw how tensely Taylor looked down at Wonka.

“Hey?” Scarlet reached out a hand but didn’t touch Taylor as the other got up from her spot and started to head towards the platform to leave. Scarlet wasn’t sure if she should follow until she saw Taylor slip through a wall door. Scarlet was about to get up and leave as well until she heard the scream of a mother and the splashing of the fat kid thrashing wildly in the river.

Scarlet could recall how happy the Oompa Loompas were when they were given the green light for musical numbers every elimination. Wonka spoke highly of their musical talents and even more so when he exposed them to the modern world.

Scarlet watched as Wonka gave the little workers the cue to begin and she watched in distasteful horror as the Gloop kid was sucked up through a machine. The kid's face was turning shades of red and blue from the lack of oxygen in the tube. When enough pressure was applied to finally get the kid up and out Scarlet watched as the giant machine slowly rolled out of the room and towards the candy room.

"This is going to be a shit show." Scarlet pulled back from the railing and pulled her legs in so she could get up. She was halfway down the platform when she heard the spooky drumming coming from the river. Scarlet looked around the stairs and saw a giant pink seahorse boat make its way into the centre of the Chocolate River for the tour to get on.

Scarlet quickly ducked away through the wall door, she had to find Taylor.

All he had to do was make it through this tour and not have a mental breakdown from how nerve-racking this all was. He tried to think of it like a play, all an act, and at the end, he would take a bow and kick every single mindless fuck out of his factory. No one would suspect that one by one they all were fighting for their lives in each room. Wonka made it clear that he was going to eliminate the members of the tour till Charlie was left. Taylor tried to talk him away from the idea but Wonka promised that no one would die, completely. If he was going to show these people around and they drool and grab at his life work then he deserved a fun way to watch them leave too.

When he finally locked eyes on Charlie at the entrance Wonka knew that Taylor was right, there was something about this child. A childish feeling of optimism fluttered in Wonka’s mind and he quickly shoved it down so it wouldn’t be noticeable. Unfortunately, Wonka forgot he had a staring problem and when Charlie tilted his head and called out to him. Wonka panicked and pretended he was spaced out again, it worked despite the uncomfortable stares from the adults. God the adults. They made Wonka so uncomfortable; they all had a strange air of protection and care over the smaller humans that were with them and it taunted the Candyman.

Wonka tried to sit up taller than everyone else while they rode on the boat. If he looked sharper than everyone else then surely he would look unapproachable. It only worked for so long before Wonka found himself slipping into dark flashbacks of his father yelling, his mother crying and trying to hold him, and his brothers being sent away. Wonka felt himself grow cold as he stared down every adult in the boat with him.

Wonak was still lost in a flashback as the boat stopped and he hurried off first mindlessly walking towards the inventing room.

'How come you couldn't stay with me?' Wonka swallowed hard then snapped out of it as one of the other adults asked him a question. Like a shaken-up deer, Wonka turned on his heels and stopped the group in a hash stop. Everyone stumbled and looked at the man before them. Wonka snapped out of it quickly when he saw the face of Charlie turn to worry. Wonka smiled and struck up a conversation out of the blue as he ushered everyone into the room.

Wonka kept his conversations going as he counted the heads of every child. There were still one too many parents here, and it made Wonka even more anxious. Violently anxious. He wanted to push them off the boat and have them drown. He wanted them to suffer, go away, never come back, and he could carry on with the tour. But as much as he wanted to, he opened and closed his fist to count to ten...twenty...thirty to calm down. Were children also so short? Was he short? He was shorter than Wilfred but an inch taller than Wesley. Wonka never remembered being short; how could he be when he always wore a top hat to make himself taller.

"Mr Wonka?" Charlie called out to the paling man with a small voice. Charlie beamed brighter than all the other kids, even in his shitey clothes and his somewhat messy hair. He was a green thumb sticking out amongst all the other kids with the company of his grandfather.

Wonka quickly looked over to Joe, who sat beside Charlie and remembered their days when they were young. Or Wonka was young, and Joe was younger than he was now. Joe was always so friendly to Wonka and also tried his best to make the Cherry Street shop run smoothly. Wonka never forgot him even after closing the factory and drowning himself in other things. Joe was a moth drawn to Wonka's pretty lights, and there was no doubt that Charlie was the same way.

Wonka answered Charlie before the boy ran off to look at the things in the room. As the children and their parents did everything Wonak told them not to do. The distressed candyman tried his best to keep himself under control until he felt the uncomfortable presence of someone sneaking up on him. Wonka had no time to react when he felt a slender hand snake up his spine and then over his shoulder.

"You're still as beautiful as you were then, what's your secret Willy," Mrs Beauregarde whispered a little too close for comfort in Wonka's space.

"Ha! I don't know what you're talking about." Wonka moved away from the woman right as he caught sight of something behind the everlasting gobstopper pool. He turned his head slightly so he could see Taylor standing with her arms crossed and a threatening look in her eyes. Wonka cocked a brow but then was pulled back to what was going on in front of him by Mrs Beauregarde inching closer. Wonka swiftly placed his cane between them and that made the older women laugh.

"Shouldn't you be paying attention to your child? You're her mo-mo......mo." The words were stuck. For the millionth time today, he couldn't say it. Wonka's nerves were breaking bit by bit.

"Mother? My darling Violet is a champion, and I'm sure she can handle herself while mommy is busy." Mrs Beauregarde tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and slightly unzipped her track jacket to give the candy man a peak. Wonka couldn't stop his eyes in time as he looked down and for a moment agreed that they were still as nice as they were years before.

“I’ve missed you, candyman.” Mrs Beauregarde whispered and flaunted herself.

Wonka hummed and nearly caved until he heard a thud against the glass next to him. He turned to look through the water to a very angry Taylor turning and stomping away.

"Ooh! Look at this!" Wonka called out loud to gather everyone's attention. The first child to come running was Mr Beauregarde's daughter. As they waited for everyone else, Wonka looked down at the blonde little girl with curiosity. She looked nothing like what he remembered of her father, more like her mother-more like someone else. Wonka swallowed hard as he felt his heart stop for a mere second as a terrible thought crossed his mind.

Mrs Beauregarde quickly zipped her jacket back up and gave Wonka a flirty wink. Wonka knew right then and now, Mrs.Beauregarde and her daughter had to go next. And what better way than with her daughter's world record chewing fixation?

It didn’t take long for Scarlet to catch up to where Taylor was when she heard the other cursing and kicked the metal tubes along the back rooms.

Taylor was about to kick another one but Scarlet ran up to her and grabbed her shoulders. Taylor tried to pull away and knock her capture away but gave up when she realized it was Scarlet. Taylor quickly covered her face with her hands nearly knocking off her glasses.

“What happened?” Scarlet asked, she looked at the door they were next to and saw it was the Inventing Room. When she turned back to Taylor the girl was nearly in tears.

“Whoa whoa!” Scarlet pulled the girl down to the ground and pulled her close.

“Scarlet, what's wrong with me? Why am I seriously jealous over some whack ass man and the women he’s fucked?” Taylor hiccuped through her tears. Scarlet knew she needed to move quickly and went to work trying to lean Taylor against the wall and clean her face as best she could.

“What happened?” Scarlet asked again. What the hell just happened while they were separated? Taylor's lips pressed together tightly and she took a few quick breaths.

“Taylor?”

“I just saw the lady trying to eye fuck Wonka, then she flashed him.” Taylor groaned, pulled her legs up to her chest and buried her face in the small space. Scarlet was able to relax when she heard what was troubling her friend. Her brows then knotted as she looked over how devastated Taylor had become. This was serious, Taylor was violently upset, Scarlet had never dealt with this from her friend and at that moment was unsure of what to say. Scarlet had never been in that state before. There was only Wilfred and even when Wilfred shared about his last marriage, Scarlet never found herself jealous or upset. Scarlet had enjoyed hearing about Wilfred’s ex-wife and even told him she wanted to one day meet her. It was an adultly exchange and Scarlet knew Taylore had never had that before. Wonka was no help in ushering in more mature approaches to things considering he could barely adult himself.

Scarlet slowly pulled Taylor’s arms away from her hair and held her hot hands, “Taylor, look at me please.”

The younger woman took a moment and tried to clean her eyes on her shirt sleeve then slowly up to Scarlet.

“Do you trust him?” Scarlet couldn’t believe she was going to have this conversation with Taylor. This was so out of her comfort zone, especially with it being about Wonka of all people, but she did this for Taylor. She loved her.

“I…” Taylor tried to push herself to say yes. It had to be yes, they’ve been a couple now for years, he saved her, she saved him, and they were together. It had to be yes. But Taylor’s mind echoed a soft and harsh no every time she thought she was strong enough to answer the question.

“If you trust him, then trust in him.” Scarlet weakly smiled and pulled Taylor into a tight hug.

“If you don’t trust him, then trust yourself if you need to step away.” Scarlet finished and it earned her a few more tears.

“I don’t want to step away, Scar.” Taylor managed to say through tears. “I want to stay here. I want him.”

Scarlet wasn’t sure why that sounded like something that would start the downfall of her friend. Surely Taylor would not stay with Wonka if it was unsafe or a danger to her health. Taylor was smart and clever and had proven she could stand against anyone that stood in her way even when she got knocked down. But her downfall was her loyalty and how much she cared for those she claimed as hers. Scarlet didn’t want to imagine what that meant if Wonka truly was as evil as he paraded around. Taylor was weak to that man even when she got him to show his hand in the trade. Scarlet held on tighter to Taylor as the idea that Wonka could one day change if Scarlet were to leave.

Scarlet let out a broken sigh pulled Taylor away from her and pushed the girl up to look into her eyes.

“I don’t care how much you love him or want him. When you need to leave him, you have to promise you will leave him.” Scarlet made her words as stern as possible and hardened her gaze as Taylor’s face dropped in confusion.

“Did you hear me?” Scarlet snapped, it was harsh but she had to make sure Taylor understood.

“Y-Yes.” Taylor shook her head and looked away.

Scarlet was satisfied with that response and got to her feet, pulling Taylor along. The taller one ran the cuff of her work jacket over her eyes once more and shook herself out before nodding towards Scarlet that she was okay.

They said nothing to each other as they walked through the back rooms of the factory. Music from the invention room started up and behind the door, Violet Beauregarde was being rolled away to the Juicing Room.

Scarlet wasn’t sure why they went to Wonka’s office to wait out the rest of the tour. It may have been a subconscious choice as the duo pushed into the room and made himself comfortable. Taylor headed towards the curtain bay window and pulled just enough to look out. People were still standing in the snow around the factory waiting for the next big thing. A few news crews were still parked along the gate also waiting for any updates.

Taylor's breathing slowed as she saw a woman in what looked like rags slowly making her way up to the grate. The poor woman didn’t have a coat and shivered violently as she placed a hand on metal bars. That must have been Charlie’s mother.

The phone rang loudly causing Taylor to violently turn from the window and walk to the desk to answer it.

"The wondrous wonders of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, Taylor speaking, how may I help you." Taylor put on her best voice and Scarlet gave her a thumbs up.

"Hello? I would like to speak to Mister Wonka." It was a woman on the other end. Her accent was heavy Russian and slurred slightly with 'r' in mister. Taylor had no clue who this was and quickly and quietly switched the phone to the speaker and set the phone on the desk. Scarlet got up from the chair and walked closer so she could hear. Scarlet gave Taylor a look and then motioned for her to continue.

"He isn't available at the moment ma'am, may I have your name so he can give you a callback?" Taylor reached for a loose tray of paper and a pen.

"Da, Mrs.Piker, Mara Piker. Make sure Wonka returns this call or else he will have an unexpected visit." the phone hung up leaving a buzzing ringer. Taylor hung up the phone in a hurry and then sat down in Wonka’s chair as she quickly wrote down the name.

“Shit,” Scarlet whispered.

“Wonka was right, it was them.” Taylor threw down the pen and got up to get to the door.

“Wait!” Scarlet chased after her and grabbed Taylor by the arm.

“He’s in the middle of the tour.”

"This is much bigger than the tour, Scarlet. Wonka already has his winner but he is going to have our heads if I don’t tell him."Taylor slowly removed her arm from Scarlet's grasp and then knocked on the wall next to the door. Just as she finished another little door on the other side of the room opened and an Oompa Loompa popped saluting.

“Where is Wonka?” Taylor asked. Taylor narrowed her eyes and stomped her foot towards the little worker causing them to straighten up and nodded before running back through the door. Just then a more humanly sized portion of the wall opened up. Taylor didn’t ask if Scarlet was coming as she took off into the unknown, scarlet never moved.

The little worker guidedTaylor through a few turns and dips before pushing open another hidden door that opened out into the candy firework room. Taylor ran out towards the end of the platform just as the elevator slowed down and ventured through. Taylor waved to get Wonka's attention, but he seemed so out of it. Taylor noticed Mike was still there, and she quickly lowered her hand. Wonka was staring pretty hard at the spiked-haired boy, and Taylor knew he was planning something. Instead of Wonka's attention, she got Charlie's. The little boy lit up with happiness as he saw her and quickly waved back just as Mike reached out and pushed a button. Taylor waved back weakly and sank to her knees in defeat.

The young women were on edge the whole day as they waited for Wonka to return. It had been four hours since Taylor last saw the group, Mike was finally eliminated and Wonka sent the elevator crashing through the roof of the factory. Scarlet and Taylor watched from the office window as Wonka carried Charlie and his grandpa to Charlie’s house. There was nothing for a while and then the elevator went zooming from the whole of the Bucket’s house up and away. Wonka hadn’t called them, his tracker was off, leaving the girls in the dark about what was going on. The Oompa Loompas wouldn't say anything and would just giggle and run away. This pissed Taylor off to the point she chewed a few of the little workers out. She quickly dismissed them all and told them to notify her if Wonka were to return. The wait was causing her to become anxious to the point of pacing.

“Taylor please sit down.” Scarlet tried to be careful of what she said. She knew Taylor was just nervous.

“I can’t,” Taylor responded, turning around once again to continue with her march.

Scarlet finally gave up and told the other she loved her and that she was leaving to go to her room. There was no point in both of them waiting for him to return when Taylor was sure to be the first to run to him. Taylor did a mindless goodbye and kept pacing in Wonka’s office.

The patter of little feet sounded from behind the office door and then a small creak as someone came in. Dave hurried up to Taylor and signed that Wonka was returning. Taylor turned towards the window and saw the elevator quickly making its way with only Wonka inside. Taylor thanked Dave and turned on her heels with the flames of hell behind her as she zoomed out of the office and down the hallway to where the elevator tunnels were. She hurred the wind gush of the death trap lining itself back into the factory’s structure and then it zoomed into view.

When the door opened, Wonka mindlessly walked out and walked past Taylor looking spaced out, confused, and deeply hurt. His limp was strong as he used his cane with all his might to keep himself standing. Taylor trialled behind him as he walked to his office. When he got to the door he fished out his keys, hands shaking, and fumbled to find his key. Finally, he stopped and turned towards Taylor with gaunt eyes. Taylor sucked in a breath and held it, Wonka looked utterly defeated and sad.

"Where's Charlie?" She asked. She didn’t know why she would start with that.

"He said he wouldn't come." Wonka's words sounded small and broken.

"Why not?"

"Because..." Wonka opened his mouth and tried to continue but he was stuck. His eyes softened as he looked at Taylor, he looked like he was about to cry, and Taylor’s heart began to hurt. He closed his mouth and looked back towards his office door as if the answer was on the wall. "I told him he couldn't bring his family." Wonka put his keys away, pushed open the door and walked inside. The slam of the door made Taylor flinch and a single tear fell down her face. She believed she had somehow messed up again.

#dark candies🍫🍬#willy wonka #self insert #my writing #part 5 #charlie and the chocolate factory #catcf 2005 #oc x canon

2 notes · View notes

m34gs · 1 year ago

Note

Saw AU ask time!

There has to be a time, right? Everyone is stuck in the planning stage of a trap when suddenly their phone rings. It's Yuu. They sound a little worn down and before they can ask what's wrong they say, "Can I come over? I need to talk to someone." Naturally, they freeze and before they can come up with some excuse everyone finds themselves agreeing to having Yuu come over.

Please tell me:

What were they in the middle of planning?

How do they hide/cover it up? How much chaos erupts?

How long does it take Yuu to come over?

Hello friend! Thank you for this ask, I am definitely looking forward to answering!!! I love adding to our Saw AU. I will be grouping the answers by dorm for ease.

There's nothing really gory or gruesome in the responses, but I'm putting it under a cut because of length!

Heartlslaybul:

What were they in the middle of planning? They were working on some mechanical aspect of the trap; probably a prototype for something like restraining a trap victim or a new type of locking mechanism or something. Deuce is doing most of the mechanical work (I love how he's good with working with his hands) while Riddle supervises; Cater is on supplies run and Ace is watching from the couch as he eats some new dessert Trey made or something...lol. There's screws, nuts, bolts, and all manner of metal scraps all over the floor, and a large box of tools. Blueprints are spread on the table and Riddle also has web pages pulled up for trouble-shooting.

How do they hide/cover it up? How much chaos erupts? The instant Riddle agrees for Yuu to come over, he turns around and orders Ace and Deuce to help clean up. Unfortunately, knowing those two, at least one of them knocks something over (probably the toolbox) and all the little pieces go flying everywhere. This adds at least twenty minutes to their clean up time as they scramble to find every last piece. They don't have much time, so everything is grabbed and - much to Riddle's inner dismay - shoved in a closet. Let's be real, as much as Riddle tries to pretend otherwise, Heartslaybul is Chaos Central. (it's definitely because of Ace and Deuce)

How long does it take Yuu to come over? I think, in an attempt to buy time, Riddle would ask Cater or Trey to pick Yuu up. This doubles their time for cleaning, since they will have to travel twice the distance, but Yuu is still there in less than an hour.

Savanaclaw:

What were they in the middle of planning? They were in the middle of designing and drawing up ideas for the trap. There's scattered pages of notes and quickly sketched diagrams all over the table and about half of the floor. A manilla folder has photos of the target spilling out of it. John gave them a couple three-dimensional models of different tools/trap items they could use, and those are all scattered about the place.

How do they hide/cover it up? How much chaos erupts? Ruggie answers the phone, but Leona probably takes it over. Just grabs it right out of Ruggie's hands. He agrees to his herbivore coming over, and Ruggie immediately starts scrambling to cover shit up. Jack is helping him. Leona is still on the phone and every few seconds he chucks a model or crumpled up note at Ruggie to dispose of/hide. Moderately Severe level of chaos.

How long does it take Yuu to come over? Leona wants Yuu over as soon as possible. They arrive in about twenty minutes. Ruggie is huffing and out of breath, so he mutters some excuse about having just tried going for a run with Jack and drags Jack upstairs to "shower".

Octavinelle:

What were they in the middle of planning? Azul is also in the planning and gathering info stages. He has an entire journal filled with notes on the target. There are different blueprints for various traps scattered in front of him, as he hasn't decided what would be most relevant to the individual yet. He has up photos pinned on the walls of the different possible locations they could use. He has a list of criteria from John regarding the trap and victim. Jade and Floyd were tailing the target and they come back with a folder full of more notes and photos. The computer has up several different webpages for various mechanical parts Azul may need to purchase (using a fake identity and a bank account set up specifically for this purpose). He's also checking their supply of cleaning supplies (he's set it up like an inventory list because that's how his brain works).

How do they hide/cover it up? How much chaos erupts? The instant Floyd hears Shrimpy is coming over, he is ecstatic. He throws the folder in the air in celebration, and all the carefully sorted notes and photos Jade and he took are now scattered and floating to the ground. There's definitely a scuffle as Floyd tries to run out to see his Shrimpy right away, and Jade is NOT about to let that fly, so he grabs him by the collar to drag him back to work. Azul is shouting. Pages are still raining down from the air. Floyd would like to just shove everything together and dump it in a closet. Jade wants to organize it so they don't have even more work later. Azul is shouting at them to PICK A METHOD AND JUST DO IT THEY ARE GOING TO BE HERE RIGHT AWAY. Floyd-level chaos.

How long does it take Yuu to come over? Yuu's there within an hour. (if it took any longer, Floyd would probably run out to get them himself) Azul has managed to get all his things for planning scooped up and into a private office room in their home, where he can quickly sort things while the twins distract Yuu. Jade is making food, probably some sort of mushroom dish, so that he can ask Yuu's opinion and keep them distracted from looking to say hello to Azul until everything is sorted and cleanly put away. Floyd sees a few slips of paper that escaped and landed under the couch. He just kicks them further under the couch.

Scarabia:

What were they in the middle of planning? Jamil is in the middle of persuading John over the phone that he and Kalim should have access to a specific abandoned warehouse, rather than Azul. He's very persuasive. Kalim is the one who takes Yuu's call and immediately agrees to Yuu coming over.

How do they hide/cover it up? How much chaos erupts? Not much to cover up this time! Jamil finishes the conversation and jots a quick note about the location and details in a planner, which gets tucked away in a drawer. He knows Yuu would never snoop. Kalim is busy arranging the place to receive guests (he has taken on more of that role since Jamil's overblot and he likes helping). No chaos at all!

How long does it take Yuu to come over? Yuu is over within half an hour, and Jamil is already working away on some delicious food to eat together. Kalim keeps Yuu's attention entirely for the duration of the cooking, and Yuu is none the wiser.

Pomefiore:

What were they in the middle of planning? Vil was in the middle of putting together a potion. An old recipe tome for poisons sits on the table, with notes scrawled in the margin. Ingredients, both dry and wet, are scattered about the table, and he is in full protective equipment for brewing potions.

How do they hide/cover it up? How much chaos erupts? The instant Vil's phone rings, he would consider not answering; after all it would not exactly follow lab safety. But, when he sees Yuu's name on the screen, he can't resist. He answers with a "Hello, Yuu", with slight emphasis on their name. That's what triggers Rook to spring into action. Before Vil even starts the next sentence, his vice Housewarden is clearing the table and putting away all the ingredients. Epel can only watch in awe (and a little bit of fear). Chaos is minimal for this power couple.

How long does it take Yuu to come over? Yuu is over within the hour. They don't suspect a single thing. There may be an herb or two that fell from the table as Rook was cleaning, but since Vil is so big on skin care and health, it wouldn't be surprising to Yuu if he was experimenting with some ingredients to create a new product to add to his collection.

Ignihyde:

What were they in the middle of planning? Idia and Ortho are cyberstalking their target when Yuu calls. Social Security Number, all their social media, tracking their typing/writing patterns to different anonymous forums online, hacking their emails and work computer/cell phone; if it's online, they've got it. Ortho answers before Idia can, and of course he agrees for Yuu to come over.

How do they hide/cover it up? How much chaos erupts? Idia luckily can download and/or screenshot the information he needs and then shut all the internet pages relatively quickly. You would think this means "no chaos", but the chaos comes less from hiding their efforts, and more from rushing to try and make their home tidy enough to host a guest. Idia also has to send Ortho on a food run because all he has are snacks and energy drinks. Ortho is pleased to have a chance to buy vegetables for Idia. Moderate level of chaos.

How long does it take Yuu to come over? I think Ortho would take into account the time they'd need to prepare, and would suggest Yuu come over in about an hour for supper. Yuu is right on time.

Diasomnia:

What were they in the middle of planning? Malleus had the trap drawn up and planned out, now they were assigning roles and testing different mechanical parts before putting it all together. I imagine it can be quite the discussion. As we've established, Fae are able to beat the traps more easily than humans...usually by breaking the trap. So, Silver has to do a lot of the work and testing things out to make sure they work - within reason; Malleus would never ask him to hurt himself. Even so, there's probably still a bit of risk involved. I imagine it makes Lilia's paternal instincts go a little haywire, so he is probably hiding up in his room until this part is over. Sebek also doesn't like that Silver has to take on so much danger, though he's more likely to frame it as "I'm stronger so why should the weak human do this?" I imagine this makes their testing and setting up stages take far longer than other groups (though overall they are still fast because the Fae powers let them speed through the other stages).

How do they hide/cover it up? How much chaos erupts? So, how they cover up is determined by what exactly they are assigning and testing out. The thing is, Malleus wants Yuu over asap. So, it they're just testing out the mechanics of different trap parts, he snaps his fingers and teleports it all to the room he knows Yuu wouldn't end up in; Lilia's room. Minimal chaos for Malleus, Maximum chaos for Lilia as all the notes, blueprints, and trap parts are suddenly crashing down in his bedroom with no explanation.

How long does it take Yuu to come over? Malleus teleports to get them and escort them over. They arrive instantly.

There you go! I hope you enjoyed these answers; I had so much fun answering the questions! Let me know what you think!!! 💜💜💜

#twisted wonderland #saw au #sort of saw franchise au #nrc dorms #headcanons #thank you again for this ask #I really enjoyed this

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beautifulpersonpeach · 2 years ago

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Hello BPP, I’m new ARMY! I have only been a fan since hiatus 😅 and have only been in the fandom for solo era. I had been enjoying my experience so far and loving the music. But I am so confused by all the noise at present with FACE. I don’t understand what is happening with Youtube and the noise from kpop fans against Jimin’s encore performance. We have been streaming for more than a week but we cannot seem to go over 30 million? I know there is filtering happening and that it’s normal but it is weird because we keep going back to 27 million. I am not sure if you discuss stuff like these in more detail. Can you suggest an account to follow so I can understand more?

About the encore stage, I read your other masterlist posts and it does feel like a predicated response because of the success Jimin is getting. He is predicated to debut at #1 at Hot 100 by some accounts. I find the issue response to be very exaggerated though 😅 Would it be too tin hat foil if I think a big company is behind it? I had read an issue about Kakao being behind a targeted smear campaign against several girl group members a few months ago. Is it too conspiracy? I do not want to think unkindly or too tin hat foil if there is a reasonable explanation like kpop fans being threatened and being angry 😅

Thank you BPP! 💜💜💜

***

Hi Anon,

Welcome to comeback season.

I’ll be brief.

Nothing that’s happening to Jimin is unexpected. YouTube has been excessively filtering, freezing, and then deleting views off BTS videos since 2021. It’s not something I care much about but it’s impossible to ignore. I think there are two reasons for this:

1. YouTube now has paid options and they have been pushing users to switch to the Premium option. In reply to many direct ARMY inquiries about missing views, the customer service reps often suggest streaming from YouTube premium accounts so all views can be counted. It’s possible they’ve identified ARMY as a group of people who will pay more if it means views are counted for BTS, but even I who spends most of my working hours as a capitalist demon finds this move to be just a little perverse. Views are views and paid views should count just the same as unpaid views.

2. I’m good friends with stans in many other fandoms and they don’t often have the same complaint. Videos from other k-pop groups don’t have the same handicap likely because there are less people at once watching the videos (ARMYs are a lot of people…) and because it’s the industry norm to use ads to inflate views. And more groups using ads even more than before, is also something I’ve noticed since 2021. This is also a scenario YouTube prefers because they directly receive revenue from k-pop companies when those companies buy ads, so every view of the ad is counted.

Like I said, records of views isn’t something that I think matters all that much for BTS today. But that doesn’t mean it’s right that it happens at all. ARMYs have limited recourse here short of getting a job at YouTube and trying to change their strategy internally. What I personally do is stream as usual (checking out their videos at least once every couple of days - I’m online often so that happens easily… I love watching them), and talk more about them with people in my life. Sometimes those people go on to check out the boys, and then who knows? YouTube might be deleting records of people watching BTS but now even more people are finding out about them. A win.

Some ARMYs are reporting this to BigHit. I don’t think that will have any impact since counted views are entirely at YouTube’s discretion, but if you’re inclined to take more action, there’s that option.

Think how so much easier things would be though, if BTS and Bang PD just did what most others in the industry are already doing. The goody-goody-two-shoes thing is sometimes annoying, but I hope if you’re ARMY you respect them for making these sort of choices for as long as they make them.

About Jimin, I won’t say much. His in-ears may or may not have been working. I personally don’t care. Whatever the case it doesn’t change the fact that Jimin can sing. But remember what I said about Avoidance and Hate being the two primary responses to expect from most k-pop stans to anything concerning BTS? That’s all that happened here. Jimin had been giving jaw dropping performances, breaking records, and blowing nearly every metric of commercial and critical success out of the water, and the response from k-pop stans was basically virtual Ostrich head-in-sand. (Though many were streaming Jimin’s songs and talking about it in GCs according to some friends in other fandoms). But the minute they found something to mock, they swarmed.

It’s simple, predictable, and lame.

But there are decade-long structures that reinforce that behaviour, and the ARMY fandom is one that’s had to bear the brunt of challenging the dominant culture and behaviours. The casualties are reflected in all that’s ugly about ARMY.

Anyway, Jimin is fine. He likely wants to spend some more time with Hobi before Hobi enlists. I suspect it’s why Jimin cancelled his Inkigayo live appearance. But he’s more than okay. Didn’t you hear him on Set Me Free Pt 2?

You said you’re a new ARMY so please allow me to say one thing: pay attention to all that’s happening around you, but please try not to make it terribly upset you. Focus on loving yourself, whatever that means for you. For me, that means enjoying the music BTS makes as often as I like. I just listened to Beautiful Girls by Sean Kingston play after Sexy Nukim by Balming Tiger ft RM and I almost moaned at my desk at the pleasure in that shift in sound. Sorry if that’s TMI, but like, that’s the reason I’m here writing about seven guys from Korea. I’ve said before I’m not a writer, yet I’m here. They make me loco. Anyway, another good practice is to report the really bad tweets if you see them, and focus on Jimin, BTS, and the music.

And lately, Jimin *and* Jungkook have been making it very easy to focus on them:

Happy streaming.

#youtube #jimin #park jimin #bts #kpop #kpop fandom #jeon jungkook #jikook #And what for heaven's sake was that wlive?

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boasamishipper · 7 months ago

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Hi, I’m intrigued by the Night Court content I’m seeing from you. How did you start up with this show from 40 years ago? Which episodes give you Harry/Dan vibes? (Truly curious! I’m watching the show rn on FreeVee because of you.)

how did i begin watching night court, you ask?

okay so the story ACTUALLY begins several months earlier. i'd been seeing ads for new night court on tv, and i was like hey!! that's the guy from richie rich!! and so i looked up old night court on tvtropes and ao3, found some fics for the show, skimmed them, and moved on with my life.

THEN in november 2023 i got laid off (corporate reorgs my detested) (dw i have since found a new job) and started looking for non-indeed.com ways to fill my hours. cue another commercial for new night court, which was returning to nbc in january. huh, thought i, jokingly. wonder if anybody on here watches this.

one quick tumblr search informed me that there were, in fact, other people who watched this show. specifically the original show. and then i saw this post, thought 'boy that judge and that prosecutor sure have Something going on' and proceeded to devour all nine seasons over the course of two months. (then i caught up with the reboot and watched s2 as it aired.) i posted my first fic, Zeitnot, nine days after i started watching the show, and told my bestie caroline that now that it was up, i had gotten all of my night court thoughts and feelings out of my system and would shortly go back to finishing my other wips.

(narrator voice) she did not, in fact, get all her night court thoughts and feelings out of her system.

anyway so 90k+ words of night court fic later here i Still Am and here i Still Plan To Be for a good long while.

so why night court?

well, to begin, it's the wildest show i have ever seen in my life. it's set in - you guessed it - the night shift of a manhattan arraignment court during the 1980s. the judge (harry stone, played by harry anderson) is a gangly goofy cutie pie dork who loves magic and mel torme and sees the best in people and has the saddest backstory of any of the cast. the prosecutor (dan fielding, played by john larroquette, who won four emmy awards in a row for this role and would have won more if he hadn't taken himself out of consideration to give someone else a chance to win) is a womanizing lecherous pervert with a heart of gold, a sharp tongue, thick hair, and an ass you can bounce a quarter off of. harry shoots plastic snakes in dan's face in their very first meeting and by the end of the show the two are partners in shenanigans and platonic soulmates and perv4perv best friends. (another anon asked me my top harry/dan episodes; i'll answer that in their ask.) other characters include Tall As Fuck Intimidating Ditzy Bailiff Bull Shannon (richard moll), Spunky Naive Morally Upright Prude Public Defender Christine Sullivan (markie post), Hot Court Clerk Who Is Done With Everyone's Shit But Will Nonetheless Participate In The Shenanigans Mac Robinson (charlie robinson), and a collection of short, snarky, tough as nails bailiffs (selma diamond in s1-2, florence halop in s3, and marsha warfield in s4-s9).

the show is incredibly funny. if you don't like one joke wait five seconds and there will be another, even funnier one. physical comedy galore. hijinks and shenanigans everywhere. logic and realism? don't know her. wile e coyote once showed up as a defendant. dan once got so horny he locked himself in a closet and shoved a firehose down his pants. in another episode bull twisted dan into a human pretzel. it has to be seen to be believed.

but what i love most about night court is its heart (something that the sequel series has not found yet, but that's a rant for another day). the characters (at least as long as reinhold weege was involved with the show - again, a rant for another day) feel like real people. they have real flaws. they make hard decisions. they love with all their hearts, and we love them for it. they hurt, and we hurt with them. and the show - especially in the earlier seasons - balances the heart with the humor incredibly well. in 4.01, harry tries to reach out to his mother, who abandoned him when he was five, only to find out that she died, and the show does not shy away from his pain and conflicted emotions. that's the a-plot of the episode. in the b-plot, a ventriloquist's dummy commits suicide. not the ventriloquist. the dummy. and it's one of the best episodes of a start to finish stellar season.

and if you are still not convinced to give the show a try, watch this compilation of the best dan fielding moments. then watch all nine seasons of night court (available for free on freevee!) for more.

#thanks for asking!#night court #this has been sitting in my inbox for three months #i'm so sorry it took me so long to answer this ask nonny but i am so happy you're enjoying night court!!!#the show Rocks #night court nation if y'all want to reblog and add more reasons to watch the show in the tags please do

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lovesosweeet · 1 year ago

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better left unsaid // cth

chapter thirteen

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

calum hood x fem!oc

read other chapters

august 3, 2018 los angeles, california orion

I've not left the apartment since I got home from the hospital two days ago, except to take Duke out a few times a day. The nausea has been unrelenting the entire time and I feel like I've been hit by a bus. I don't even sleep in our bed. I spend the whole time on the couch.

I'm grateful that I've only vomited once, but I haven't eaten a full meal in several days. From being stressed about Cal leaving to getting started on chemo, food hasn't exactly been appealing. I can tell my weight is going to plummet over the next several weeks, but it's hard to fight the feeling that I'll throw up anything I eat and also that adding anything else to the chaos in my stomach already is not a good idea.

Duke has been a great cuddle companion and has barely left my side. Calum called again yesterday but hasn’t yet called today. The time zones make it so confusing and I keep forgetting whether he’s ahead or behind of me in time. He texted me a few hours ago—it was just a selfie of him and Ashton backstage, letting me know they were about to perform. Once they finish the show tonight they’re flying to New Zealand, which I know he’s excited about.

It’s been long enough now that I think he should be off stage soon, if they aren’t already, but I know they’re going to be kind of chaotic afterwards because they’ll be rushing to the airport. I don’t plan on calling him at all; his schedule is so insane and busy, and I know he will do his best to call me as much as he can. I’ll call him if it’s important enough, but so far nothing has happened that should mean I call him.

This morning I woke up to a banging on the apartment door and to my dismay I found my moms had ordered groceries for me. It was just a bunch of easy to make foods — cans of soup, frozen pizzas, instant ramen — but it still frustrated me that they would do that without asking me. I don’t need their help.

I grumble silently, dragging the food inside with Duke sticking his face in the bags. “Nothing for you, sorry buddy.”

Once I get the frozen food into the freezer, I go to flop back on the couch. My body aches so much. I don’t feel like I can stand for more than a few minutes at a time. I’ve debated checking with Macy to see if she would be able to walk Duke for me, but I’m scared to rope another person in on my secret. I’m on the couch watching more Girl Meets World when Emelia texts me.

From: emi✨ how ya doin today? need anything?

To: emi✨ yuck. am fine. just don’t wanna move ever again.

From: emi✨ do you want me to walk duke for you? i can come by after work!

I want to say yes, but she’s already doing so much. She’s the one who will be driving me to and from chemo next week, and she’s already planning on coming over again tomorrow to keep an eye on me. I’m hoping I feel okay enough to hang out with Macy in a few days like we’d planned… I decide I am just going to suck it up. I can handle it. What's the worst that can happen?

I text Emelia "no" and then muster as much strength as I have left to get off the couch again. It's time to take a shower, I decide.

It takes me a somewhat shameful amount of time to get to the bathroom and turn on the water. I crank it all the way up because I'm freezing. Before I get in, I grab a pair of Cal's boxers and one of his hoodies to put on when I get out, and then I hook my phone up to the Bluetooth speaker so I can listen to music.

The sound of Maisie Peters' brief but iconic discography echoes in the room while I step under the hot water, and I instantly feel better. Washing my hair feels weird because it's so much shorter than it was when I last washed it. I pump out far too much shampoo for the amount of hair I have left, but it smells nice, so it's fine.

I'm singing the words to Worst of You when the music is replaced by ringing. Someone is calling me, and, if I had to guess, it's Calum. Of course, he calls right during the first time in the past several days that I can't answer. Quickly, I rinse the shampoo from my hair and try to scrub my entire body, undoubtedly missing a few places, but I just want to get out.

Tossing the sweatshirt on over my wet hair and clumsily stepping into the boxers, I grab my phone off the counter and hit the button to call Calum back. While it rings, I wrap the towel over my hair and walk out of the bathroom, plopping back on the couch.

"If it isn't my favorite girl on the planet," Calum answers.

My mood instantly lifts but I roll my eyes. "I'm telling Joy that she's not your favorite. She won't be happy."

"That's different and you know it."

I smile. I love that he loves his mom so much, but being ranked higher than her is really such an honor. She's a wonderful lady.

"Sorry to miss your call, I was in the shower."

"No, it's fine! We're driving to the airport now and I just wanted to say hi really quick."

"How was the second show?"

Calum starts talking about a technical issue that I don’t really understand but try to listen intently. Something about the sound in his earpieces cutting off and no one believed or understood him so he had to play the whole show not being able to hear anything. He said the fans made him a sign to remind him of his lyrics (a common trend) and someone threw a beaded bracelet onstage that had a C and an O with a heart between them.

“It’s yours now,” he says. “It won’t fit me but it’ll fit your tiny wrist.”

I smile. It’s a cute memento and I am glad the fans are kind of warming up to me. I try to avoid looking for their opinions and thoughts on me but it’s a bit inescapable if I go on any of the 5SOS pages to check for updates.

“Can’t wait to have it,” I tell him.

“Did I tell you I’ve flown Mum out to Auckland? We’ll get there around the same time.”

“No! You didn’t tell me, but I’m jealous. I miss her.”

“She misses you too. She said they’d love to come to LA for Christmas, too, so we can maybe start planning that?” He says it like a question. “I know it’ll probably be you planning it because I know you love planning but it doesn’t have to be just you.”

My heart gets warmer at the thought. I love hosting and spending time with our favorite people, especially for special occasions. It could also be the first time we get to introduce our families to each other. We only have one guest room, but Cal’s office/studio could fit an air mattress for Mali if she doesn’t bring a partner. My family could just come up for the day, or maybe Cal and I could sleep on the couch and give my moms and brother our room.

Then I remember treatment plans and all of the uncertainty in my future and my head starts to spin. Will we be able to host if I’m going through treatment? Maybe Cal should just go to Australia for Christmas without me, and I’ll stay here and get treatment or just spend it with my own family. I try not to think on it too hard, but there is still, devastatingly, a chance that Calum won’t be happy when I tell him I’ve been lying.

He wouldn’t break up with me over it, I don’t think, but sometimes when he’s mad he does lose sight of rationality. It’s not a unique trait to him. We all do it. He’s never gotten mad at me—we’ve had fights and arguments but he’s never been angry with me specifically, more a situation or something that just frustrates him. I don’t know how he’s going to react, and maybe that’s part of why I didn’t want to tell him at all. I am 98% sure Calum would’ve opted out of tour for me, but that other 2% gnaws at the back of my brain.

Would he have ended it then and there? Why go through the heartache of being with someone you know will die soon?

“Orion?” Cal’s voice interrupts my spiral.

“Sorry, what?”

He laughs. “I said you’d probably want to be in charge of planning Christmas.”

I laugh nervously. “Yeah, I mean… probably.”

He’s silent for a minute. It’s a short pause and with anyone else, it wouldn’t matter or stick out, but with Calum, it does. “You okay?”

I hate how easily he’s able to read me without even being able to see me. I quickly try to come up with an excuse. “Yeah, just been having a hard time sleeping. The apartment feels so empty without you.”

Calum pauses again, and I know it’s because that idea makes him a bit sad. “Would you feel better if Em stayed there? That could be fun, a four month sleepover with your bestie.”

I purse my lips, holding back that Em has already stayed here one night of the three that he’s been gone. “Maybe.”

He sighs. “I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely. Let me know if there’s any way I can help. Even if it’s just to fly home for a day whenever we have a break or to fly you somewhere for a day. I don’t care. I want to see you, especially if you’re down, okay?”

I want to shake my head but he can’t see me. “Cal, it’s fine. We’ll be fine. Just might take a bit to get used to.”

“I don’t want you to get used to a life without me, O. I’m here, forever, okay? Whatever you need, I’m there.”

With each word, I can feel my heart ripping down the middle, inch by inch. I don’t know how it’s still whole.

“I love you,” is all I manage to say. I’m choking back tears, the guilt is so much. How can I keep this up? How can I hold this in?

“I love you, too.” He sounds sad now. “Love, we’re almost to the airport. Do you want me to call you again once we’re through security? We don’t have to stop talking.”

I clear my throat. “No, it’s fine. I’ll be fine. Just text me before you take off.”

“We’re both gonna be fine. I’ve gotta go. I love you.”

I feel my tears slowly trickling down my face and I don’t bother to wipe them away. “I love you. Bye.”

Then we hang up, and I can really start sobbing. Duke runs over, his ears perked up. He’s not sure why I’m crying and he hops up next to me, sticking his face by mine. When he starts licking my face, I stop him. I’d read something about how all bodily fluids post-chemo are essentially poison. I don’t want to get Duke sick, too. I can’t handle that. We can’t both be sick.

I pull Duke close to me and squeeze him as much as I can without hurting him. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this, but I know I will, at least for now. I’ll have Em and my moms and Ash and Duke and everything will be fine. It has to be.

next chapter

a/n: spoiler next chapter will have a bomb drop hehehe

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #calum hood #ashton irwin #fanfiction #fanfic #5sosfam #5sos fanfic #calum imagine #calum fanfic #calum 5sos #calum #better left unsaid #calum fic

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