#and i wonder why im so fucking dumb
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
nakakaputanginaaaaaaaa
#how did i get to special school especially for scientific shit and fail miserably at the subject#what the fuck#it's second quarter and i still do not get this shit#teacher already explained it clearly but my smooth ass brain decided hey what if we had didnt braincells today#5/20 in the hw:))))))))#i dont get it at all. i have no fucking clue what to do. i dont know what i dont understand either.#and my anti social ass didnt even bother to ask the peps who knew it because im a fucking coward and i feel like wasting someones time when#they try explaining it and i still dont get it and ill have them explain in again and i can see the frustration on their face#and i dont have a thick face and make them explain again and again and again theyre not the teacher#so when they explain it once i just thank them and go off to fail another homework#parents are busy.and tired. sibling doesnt really get it either. teacher is busy.along with an extremely bad case of not Doing Normal Things#when i think theyre a waste of time to the other party. friends dont get it either.#and i wonder why im so fucking dumb#literally almost everyone gets it at this point and im the only one who doesnt which pisses me off and so i go to the blame game#but theres no on to blame is there. its just me.#'go to yt or google it' cant u get it. i literally cannot understand it. it refuses to enter my brain and im doing nothing about it#i have this really bad case of feeling like crying whenever someone explains shit to me and i still dont get it or they dont really explain#The Thing I Don't Understand. it annoys me#worsr thing about this is that next time there will be a new topic. yay! another topic to fail#i feel like the teacher never disscussed this but actually did. i just didnt listen properly.#end of story basically#i really thought that venting my problems on a site where ppeeps dgaf abt my problems would be the solution to this huh#i dont want to go to school tomorrow#aynut
0 notes
Text
THE ORDER OF PALMS An order of holy folk that serve The Helm, working to create powerful Aasimar Paladins for the purpose of protecting any who hire their help. [BACKSTORY UNDER CUT]
One day, Gjör and her peers were lead by their mentor Opheria, to a mission far from their home. On the peak of that mountain village, they saw upon the horizon, the castle of their home go up in flames. Horrified and scared, the apprentices sought to follow their mentors guidance, and followed her lead into a small barn. It was there, that Opheria proceeded to slaughter each and everyone of the apprentices. It seemed she somehow had a hand in this sudden attack on the Order of Palms. Gjör D'annevual survived a sword through the 'heart', on account of a rare condition, that places her heart on the other side of her chest. When she finally managed to bring herself back home, the Order was insulted by her survival. She had so many better peers, why couldn't any of them have survived? This runt was seriously the only thing that survived Opherias wrath? It was better to just wash their hands clean of this. Thus the Order decided to banish Gjör from their ranks. She now travels the land in search of a purpose.
#luckys original content#dungeons and dragons#MY OCSSSS MY WONDERFUL OCSSS ITS BEEN SO LONGGGG!!this is a fairly old character that i made foreeeever ago#i was trying to go full on into DND LORE ONLY instead of makin up my own stuff. so when i was lookin around i learned abt THE HELM#the god of protection or watever it was. i also like playing paladin bc i love to hit things w my sword. i also like aasimars bc theyrprett#im sure i ahd other Min Maxy reasons for her but i dont have her sheet n ive forgotten everything. never got a chance to play her but yknow#maybe someday. I LIKE HER ALOT TOO. big and strong and well meaning but a lil dumb. justa lil dense n stupid. but she tries!!#I LIKE CHARACTERS THAT HAVE JUST SMALL THINGS DIFERENT ABT THEM. i knew some1 who had that condition. where everythings just flipped#aint that fucked up? that ur organs can just be flipped? and inever see it in fiction. its so neat. imagine finding out like THIS too#she had blacked out from the sword through the heart. the last thing she heard from her mentor was;#'you were a great student. that is why you above all else must die. i hope you understand' spoken through a gentle voice and a gentle smile#the very same that had guided Gjör so far through her journey.A BETRAYAL LIKE NO OTHER! she awoke utop a pile of comrades#each bloodied and dead and cold. she used her own magic to heal herself. to catch herself from the precipice of bleeding out#when she stepped out of the barn she had found that the village was burned to the ground#she was shellshocked!! it took her weeks to limp all the way back down that mountain. all the way back to the place she called home#only to be spit on and kicked back out. being a Paladin of the Palms was her entire life. what was she to do now?#OH SO THE ART. I RLY LIKE HER DESIGN.heavily based off of THE BABY SITTER from HALO LEGENDS. i fuckin love halo so much guys.....#i just love that trope of Big Strong Person in Armor that we all thought wasa fullgrown MAN takes off the helmet to revel shesa PRETTY GIRL#my favorite in the WORLD!! i also like the silly frilly pretty dress sorta motif in gjors armor. it hides all the stuff i dont wanna draw#thats all the ramble i got in me for now. PLEASE ENJOY. and ask me abt my ocs
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
Trying not to get annoyed at work because it's the best job I've ever had but MY GOD.
#its just like so dumb sometimes#like not on the level of paper pusher but theres so mamy little annoying details that are not explained to me or whatever#maybe office jobs are hard for autistic people because everything here seems to work on magic wonder rules i cannot fathom#my coworkers ask me the most asanine things that i dont see why the fuck i would know#the company itself is kind of shitty and in a class action lawsuit so half the things i do make me feel like an evil goon#i dont think im gonna lose it but i feel so anxious over every single mistake#ugh maybe theres more wtong with me than i thought and i just never noticed
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about the animal literature class i took last spring that was pushed as a class all around symbolism but it ended up being an ARA focus and my professor and i were talking about my black beauty paper and she said something like “you dont think of all the ways the author is actually promoting animal harm though… like why doesnt she criticize the use of carriage horses at all? does she think its ethical for animals to work for humans instead of alternative means?”
well besides the obvious bullshit there… THIS BOOK TAKES PLACE IN THE 1800s!!!!!! THERE WERE NO CARS!!!
#fuck you black beauty author why didnt you predict henry ford you dumb bitch. CLEARLY you actually hate horses!#like. tbf she couldve been nitpicking bc she was very nitpicky in class on a lot of stuff#but like it lives in my brain. the book was published 10 years before the car wtf is she supposed to do#i didnt even care for the book im just bewildered????#also realizing we were supposed to read the breaking in scene as gross and immoral in the class bc its the only scene we actually read#before we moved on to other book samples. bc btw we only read two full books in that class.#one of them was charlottes web.#we mostly read really short samples and articles besides that.#echoed voice#i was kinda joking like ‘’oh boy wonder what she thinks of service dogs’’ and then i learned ara’s hate service dogs#so. damn ok
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
i feel so silly being anxious about my ENT appointment at 930 🥴
#it's a new place new doctor so obvs im stressed#but the dr being a man 🥴🥴 it was a referral so i can't choose 🥴🥴#i think i feel especially stressed bc i have 3 issues i need to talk about and im worried he's gonna get annoyed / brush them off#i've seen an ENT about 1 of these issues back in 2012 and welp my dumb ass didn't bully my parents into letting me get the surgery so#i've been struggling w this shit all this time also i meant 2013 🧍🏽♀️#the other issues are my jaw popping painfully ever since july +#what the hell was the other one#fuck this is why i spent 2 hours writing shit down my memory is so SHIT#throat pain#really bad throat pain that hasn't fucked off since july 2023#it hurts to talk n i haven't been able to sing since last summer. what if i just [rembers no say the thing because Bad] Shit myself#that one appointment in june when i couldn't see my usual doctor and i had to see this other lady this mfer said wELL i dUnNo It'S nOt LiKe#i CAn diAgnOsE yOu wITh a cHronIc SorE ThRoaT hEh#annoying ass doctor no wonder my usual doctor is always booked#pls universe pls let this doctor b a decent person who actually tries 2 help mee#🥴🥴🥴🥴#221am goodbye#scarlett.txt#negative /#WHINYYYYYYY#god i always worry i sound like a paranoid hypochondriac at the doctor's but my body really is like this Please#ugh i still have at least 3 more appointments at 3 new places this year#eye and dermatologist in dec and the other thing once i get off my ass and send in that packet#at least i don't have my monthly follow up w my pcp anymore..#unrelated but i need to buy some new masks in black#and a cardigan#okay that really had nothijgnto do with anything stfu scarlett
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
emotional support group for autistics who got called condescending and rude as kids just for responding to things directly and still not knowing how they were being mean
#what did i do#i got constantly told by my mother and step father (and his family) that i always talked like i knew better than they did or that i was#just as mature. i was just fuckjng talking what the hell did you want me to do#why do you feel attacked when a 10 year old speaks to you as an adult????? literally what#i dont know on that note sometimes its just like i dont even feel like ive aged at all#sure i have a giant explosion of time in my head just Gone from my memory because i was getting abused but like i dont feel like ive aged#or really matured ive felt like ive alwats felt#i cant relate when epople are like me when i feel all my ages or i wish i could go back to being x age or being x age everything felt so#different..like no it didnt. or im missing something?#i have never in my life felt like anything has changed. ive always been this old. there is no ''inner child'' and ive never had childhood#innocence or a nostalgia or childhood to go back to. i have no idea what any of you are talking about ever👍#ugh jst rmemebred skmething that happened with my white step dad's mother#we visited her house and she literally fucking didnt let me go (not physically) until i replied to her with Correct Granmar. what was i#doing? i was reaponding to her by saying ''yeah'' and she kept repeating ''yes'' like telling me to say yes instead of yeah and i didnt#Fucking Get It because guess what you old white cracker i barely fucking speak english and you are just saying things in an aggressive tone#like thats gonna make me get it. and i Didnt i just kept replying yrah to her yes's and then she got tired of it and we left out the door#and theeeeen i got yelled at in the car by being called disrespectful and rude by my parents. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?????????#those crackers never liked me LOL i literally know they didnt#ugh i rmemeber this one time my step dads father was like trying to show me some dumb boxing or karate or something punching move and he#told my mother that i was good at it because he felt i had a lot of aggression and then NY MOTHER YELLED AT ME IN THE CAR FOR IT??????#oh fucking wonder why te kid being abused mighthave aggression but she didnt Know (apart from what She was doing to me) like why would it#be my fucking fault if he thought i had aggression in me HOW IS THAT MY FAULT WHAT DIDBI DO I WAS JUST TRYING TO DO THE MOVE BECAUSE WELL#I WAS TRYING TO GET ALONG BECAUSE THATS WHAT THEY WANTED ME TO DO#she was like do you know how much that embarassed me and WHAT THE HELL HE SAID IT I DIDNT I WAS LIKE#8??? OR SOMETHING???? I DONT FUCKING KNOW!!! I DIDNT KNOW WOMAN WHAT DID YOU WANT FROM ME#mothers when they mother👍
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
what if i said my genuine opinion of "rom the vacuous spider" is that she's actually not like, peaceful because she's stupid, she's just extremely fucking chill bc she's so enlightened. like she WILL defend herself but really she just wants to hide in her cool lake world and hide dark rituals
#idk i have crazy amount of thoughts on rom lately (makes a post thats half tags) (im sorry in advance)#like that she was blessed by kos.... now how you interpret HER and her relationship w the fishing hamlet may vary but like#kos strikes me as sympathetic towards humans (who are not hunters. it is the HUNTERS nightmare. though ive always wondered)#(why are there research patients there? what did THEY do?)#(anyway. idk i like to think that rom was very kind (if a bit. dumb maybe? but like tbh thats so subjective.) and thats why kos blessed her#thats extremely cheesy and sappy for bloodborne ikik but like. ye#though ive also seen other theories on how she might have ascended that ARENT related to kos giving her eyes#or ones that focus on the cut content abt kos being ebrietas's name at one point in development#which has VERY different implications (+ tbh? more likely#ebrietas has a more confirmed affinity for helping humans and also the whole 'altar of despair' grieving#(which re the character model: tbh i think its MEANT to be rom#but they didnt design it very accurately)#anyway thats all thank u for coming to my impromptu ted talk#OH WAIT edit i forgot to add i think we should consider WHO is calling her vacuous. the brygenwerth scholars? we know SO little about#1. who she was#and 2. where she earned this title. for fucks sake shes not even that spider shaped. whos to say this moniker is accurate?#not trying to start shit. i would love her even if no thoughts head empty#but like i hc her as niceys idk
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anyway rewatching the angels of death anime and I just noticed both of Danny's eyes dilate even though he has one glass eye
#random thoughts#angels of death#i wonder if it's a stylistic thing or if it was just an oversight by the animators#do characters with glass eyes in other animes also have their eye dilate?#idk i think it'd be cool if he just had one dilated eye. now he looks like a bad guy (bad guy) (bad guy) cuz he has just one dilated eye#he looks like a supervillain it DOES impair his visison and now he questions his life#but anyway i like the light glare on his glasses only affecting one eye at a time it's cool#also. forgive me if im being dumb. did they ever explain how zack got up to the second floor by himself?#also like. why did he do that.#they've had people down there before and he's killed basically no one since he's been an angel so ray escaping isn't like. new for him#like we can just assume it's either because of ray not crying out when zack stabbed the box (which he discovered after finding her hair)#OR because of the sewn-up bird#which like. if it was the bird it'd be a neat little bit to look back on when ray's freaking out about telling zack about her parents#like zack knew the whole time and he pursued you for it :-) because you're a little freak#but honestly i dont think it was the bird. i think it was probably because ray didn't cry out when he stabbed the box#the whole box-stabbing thing looked like a practiced move. he had done that before to drawn people out and to great success#he's IMPRESSED!!! HE WANTS TO MURDER HER MORE NOW#also how tf did he get to the second floor. did he fucking wedge the door open and climb the wires#anyway the whole reason he went after ray was because the chase left him overstimulated like a cat#and he needed to bite the proverbial owner's leg so to speak (kill kill kill)
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Im gonna complain again cuz if I don't who will. Anyways, my ex and ex friends were heinous fake allies and absolutely awful lmao. Very clear to me now that I was just the "good jew" replacement for their ex jewish friend and as soon as I started breaking from how awful they were treating me they all started comparing me to their perception of that other person. Who probably wasn't even that bad to begin with tbh they all probably pushed them to their limits too with all the antisemitism, lesbophobia, and unhealthy dynamics I dunno. Shit was fucked.
#they even gave me their vinyls when i moved out cuz they thought they were mine....... 💀💀💀 i only owned 1 vinyl that i never played#cuz i just got it for 1 dollar at a garage sale#but like. i KNEW whos the records were bc i knew that person long enough to at least get a sense of their music taste#and know that they owned vinyls#that wasnt even the first time. they gave me hand me downs of the Previous Jewish Friend other times too#that they had left#and like. i took them sometimes cuz. im fucking poor sometimes i could use like a coat or a water bottle or something but#looking back it just makes me feel sick now like jeez#cant tell 2 jews apart??#fucked up#at first i thought it was bc they knew i didn't know them that well to begin with but no. oh no.#they DID think i knew them. they thought i knew them way more than i did... probably because.. hmm i wonder why#could it be bc im jewish :I#LIKE FKCNVJDKX#I LITERALLY#i feel so dumb but like. jeezus#what was i sposed to do#they rlly took advantage of me when i was in need and treated me like a pet#until they got bored of me#and realized i. yknow. am a human being with feelings
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
well now my stomach hurts
#can i eat anything without getting lightheaded btw. answers probably no#i skip meals most of the time so. to be expected#speak iza#and im like fuck i wanna eat but im too tired to get up from bed←yea dumb bitch i wonder why it couldnt possibly#be because youre starving yourself#and its literally because i forget. schools important bc it reinforces meals for me and i know that sounds stupid but heres a dedicated#hour where you have to eat
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
everyone in my household owes my friends and my ex girlfriend so fucking much.
#red rambles#'when i yelled at you over the spices earlier i actually meant thanks for making lunch' 'alright well im glad you got there eventually' 'yo#have a very abrasive manner of speaking' thank you! i am restraining myself from calling you a fucking asshole to your face. Thank me for#my fucking patience.#yeah man i spent an hour cooking for you and when you got off work you immediately lit into me for doing it wrong and then spent like a ful#fifteen minutes yelling at me over the counters being dirty (which YOU dirtied. for the record) because i had the audacity#to ask that next time i not have to hurt myself trying to get spices out of the disaster you yourself made of the spice rack#by moving ONE THING.#and then you want to wait until the next time i resurface from avoiding the sound of YOUR tv that you play super loud to remind me that#you're an ungrateful pos who doesn't give half a fuck how much work anyone else does for you?#thank me for not screaming in your face.#like it's insult on top of injury at this point. I don't give a shit. You don't have to fucking thank me i do not care. Don't fucking get#MAD AT ME for doing what YOU ASKED. DUMB ASSHOLE.#it's okay i have a handle on my fucking temper. but THEN. don't get on my case for being a little bit less gracious than i could've been#'you know you catch more flies with honey than vinegar' yes well i would like to shoo the flies out of my FUCKING HOME. have you considered#that.#oh well. i'll be out of this fucking place in like a month.#if you told me when i was 15 that i'd be begging for school to start again just so i could get out of the house i'd have asked you why we#hadn't just walked in front of a moving car yet. sometimes i still wonder.#pdl
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
me seeing phoenix not go to a hospital even though hes a walking amnesiac:
#nick what the fuck what THE actual fuck my dude#this is why men die sooner#no fucking wonder edgeworths “super power” is fucking logic everyone here is so unhinged and dumb af#yes im replaying justice for all and crying bc i deadass forgot about this part in the beginning#god hes so stupid#ace attorney#ace attorney: justice for all#phoenix wright
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
today i was talking to someone about why i dont want to do something and one of my given reasons was “im afraid of white conservatives” and he was like “what are you scared they’re going to make fun of your hair” like. as someone that expresses queerness through their hair. the oceans between us
#EVERY DAY I WONDER WHY I TALK TO CISHETS#it's such a dumb throwaway comment to be upset over but im so tired#especially because this is a dude i actually liked#i hate this degree why are my friends in maths and cs tripping over queers left and right and 100% of the people i am acquainted with#are extremely cishet and happy to be casually homophobic#not saying this person was being homophobic in this case it's just like. they will never fucking understand
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
calling ppl regressive for understanding blatant storytelling i have to laugh…
#blocking and muting isn’t enough why am i still bombarded with the worst fucking takes imaginable#sorry like this is the show that had hen gain empathy for mara via a rescue dog#it’s so obvious this father not respecting his son for being a cheerleader is bc the father is homophobic im over this#pls get better at watching tv or just shut up about this like yall r dumb#coming from the ppl who said eddie is straight bc he dated women#okay i’m done happy saturday yall enjoy the day have wonderful weekends :)#rambles
0 notes
Text
Don't cry don't cry don't cry
#theyre asking why am I tearing up but they dk what the fuck i just did#only i know how dumb i proved myself#my precious blog + drafts of so many fics are deleted#i wonder what would I have done by now if I actually have written dorectly on Tumblr glad they were all intro pages#oh idk im sad im dumb im losing shit#i lost everyone my moots my followers my anons wow#i cant do shit now i should before im blocked but idk what to do
1 note
·
View note
Text
i know im old but back in my day see we all held our breaths when we studied certain parts of ww2 in school and certain people and topics were mentioned.
to say the word nazi was blasphemous, no one heiled, not even in jest, and above all, we learned in silence of some of the atrocities committed at the time and were left to wonder how the world sat and watched.
for people to be parading out in the streets that they are descended from the filth and scum that believed some people were inherently subhuman because of their religion or due to a disability etc in support and solidarity of their modern equivalents should be grounds for immediate arrest. maybe even death sentences.
how the fuck are we letting people like this roam freely in the streets? are these people not textbook definitions of terrorists? what lengths will they go to? what lengths wont the go to?
the holocaust was at least somewhat a secret and the general population was somewhat hidden from the truth. we now can livestream genocide and massacres and war crimes on our devices.. how on what remains of Gods green earth is the world still turning a blind eye and not fighting tooth and nail for our brothers and sisters in humanity being annihilated off the face of the earth in real time.
and for what? israel and the zionist & fascist pigs of the world would throw you in incinerators without even sparing you a first glance let alone a second one. what has become of humanity??
A solidarity march in support of Israel by Nazi descendants in Germany.
You literally cannot make this shit up.
#we were all kids so we all narrowed our eyes at any mention of germany *gasp* and anything made in germany was tossed lol#because we were kids#dont take this too seriously#for reference im 20#and for credibility's sake#im like 68% sure someone heiled as a dumb joke#this was like 2013 ish#do with that what you will#we watched the boy in striped pyjamas too to really hammer home the scale of the monstrosities man could reach#i look back and i wonder why on earth the same couldnt be done for say iraq and afghanistan and somalia#now more than ever with history quite literally repeating itself in multiple place all at the same time#i wonder how some people can find it in themselves to look at someone different and loathe their existence#to the extent that they wish for the most horrific of deaths on them and their families and go on to celebrate it#free palestine#free gaza#fuck israel#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#i read the mr hitler post this morning and ive officially lost faith in humanity. im waiting for divine intervention at this point#fuck america#fuck germany#fuck zionism
1K notes
·
View notes