#and i will find you.
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*sits down, while holding a bottle of soda from the movie theater*
I'll patiently wait for the fics about the Super Mario Bros Movie despicting Mario's aftermath of the whole ordeal, with the adrenaline wearing off and he processing all that happened. How close Luigi's death was if he didn't save him at the last minute, how much he was beaten up badly by everyone and how almost scorched himself (and Luigi) at the end. Knowing that everything came to be by being stubborn. Then coming to terms with not only his new separation anxiety, ptsd, and broken bones and bruises but with the realization that "Holy shit, all that happened in less than 48 hours."
*sips sprite*
I know some of you have him as your little skrunkly, blorbo, little fella and also adore and seek angst and whump like maniacs who finds pure pleasure and happinness in putting your favorite character through hell and back, twice even. Then, shall you all enjoy this and write your hearts content. ❤
#the super mario bros movie#mario bros#fanfic#ooooh my new hyperfixation is here#there is already 91 fics on ao3 but most of them are bowuigi and/or luigi centric#which is fine and great and amazing#that being said#i want to see mario's whump#i may have a crush on him#tbh#i blame mystar21_'s fanarts and the movie for making him a little silly polite and heroish fella who is full of brotherly love#i just want more content my brain needs the stimulation#let the 5'1 tall italian red plumber be tear apart by angsty shit#he deserves it / affectionable ❤#spoilers#super mario#i know you are out there person who saw the movie and got a massive brainrot about it and its itching to write something and post it on ao3#and i will find you.#mario movie#the super mario movie spoilers
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I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.
Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.
He was really nice.
Yeah.
It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?
You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."
You didn't, loves, you didn't.
We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.
I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.
Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.
When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"
No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.
Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?
Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.
That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.
I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.
A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.
I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.
So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!
Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.
You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.
I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.
I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.
It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.
Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.
#listen to old auntie Shades#serious#fuck I don't know how to tag this#I should probably read-more this but I'm not sure where#and now I need to go take a walk for my stupid mental health#you never stop processing#you do it over and over and over and over#and hope it gets a bit easier each time#Someone might get upset by using prey#but 'preferred prey' is an important concept from the predator's view#it doesn't mean the people are inherently prey#you feel me?#it's the best word I can find for the concept#neil gaiman#adjacent
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Found my fav Slay the Princess route recently. Dragon my beloved. Your horrifying beak mouth was an impossible-to-refuse lip syncing challenge 💖
Shoutouts to @blacktabbygames for making such a cool game!
#stp spoilers#slay the princess spoilers#stp dragon#stp the princess and the dragon#I FINISHED THIS LIKE 2 WEEKS AGO AND CONSISTENTLY FORGOT TO POST IT UNTIL I REMEMBERED JUST NOW LMAO FUCK#i made it for my showreel when i realised stp is full of good lines to lip sync to and ooohhhh what a fun challenge it was#and such a fun sketchy art style to emulate too. i dont think i quite nailed it but you have to take liberties when it's animation dont you#anyway this route makes me insane. getting to finally see ourself and finding out we're a SICK ASS GIANT DESTRUCTIVE CREATURE?!!!#the princess is so good at making me feel feeble and pathetic in this game. i had no idea. i am so so happy. this is gender euphoria#thank u my friend @rune-chaser for introducing me to this game bc it's so cool!!! and has made me cry more than once! yayyy!!!#stp#slay the princess#stp princess#stp the long quiet#my animations#my art#EDIT: changed the name in the desc from stp to slay the princess bc i want non stp players to know what the game is. shoulda done it sooner
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actually no, we're not "dating". we're bound together for infinity. like the stars. so, fuck you, actually.
#queerplatonic#alterous attraction#asexual#if you find this and youre her no you didnt#aromantic#queerplatonic relationship#acearo#qpp#qpr#lgbtqia#love#transmasc#alterous yearning#alterous relationship#fuck you mum i love my girlfriend and youll have no part in it#fuck you mum#transgender
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Peace and love
#pink posts#i saw a tweet that was like “i see other people's art” --> i get discouraged#i understand that seeing art that is prettier than yours can be discouraging but why not twist that a bit?#why does it look prettier to you? is it the colors#is it the textures they used? the brushes?#study them and try to put your spin on it#and maybe you'll find your art beautiful as well
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Started a new vest project this week ! Test swatch + bottom section ⛪🌿
#knitting#tracery vest#wipinsanity#<--- this is the pattern designer you can find them on ravelry and their own site fyi#textile#bottom section is normally tall corrugated ribs but I wanted to change propotions a little#so i joined the ribbing into archways and added a row of windows
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It was affection.
#oh they got me#they got me bad#doomed yaoi and I go hand in hand are we even surprised#arcane you are the greatest thing humanity has ever created#I just really wanted to draw jayvik and I kinda went a little overboard with this#I haven't drawn something this detailed since the good omens angels illustration#so you get an idea for how bad this brainrot is#anyways#you will find me on ao3#jayvik I love you#please don't die#jayvik#jayvik fanart#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayce arcane#arcane fanart#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#arcane art#my fanart#digital art#my art
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It's honestly crazy that discussion around testosterone HRT skews so much towards the beginning stages of it (to the point that you have dozens of guys thinking their transition is "failed" if they don't pass by like a year in lol) and what the initial changes of the first couple of months to years look like, like the classic laundry list of those early basic changes like bottom growth, voice drop, etc, when IMO literally none of that compares remotely to the depth and intensity of the long term total masculinization you start to experience like 3-5+ years in.
#also has made it increasingly difficult to relate to those early into their transition honestly#like not in a bitter way it’s just like hard to express how diff the experience is#of being like a year on T vs 5 😭#ETA I muted this post ages ago now but fwiw seeing transphobes pop up in the notes on occasion just to say cruel reactionary shit#you are clowns I cannot imagine seeing a post that is ONLY about discussing with folks about the reality of a medication#and choosing to make that your moment to get a schoolyard bully jab in about how you find it gross or something.#you are less well adjusted than most children. may the universe be kinder to you than you are to others.
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hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???
i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)
#rambling#and idk but like if this incentivises you to do some stretches too then that's great! remember to be kind to yourself#but im mostly directing this at myself because i was thinkng about these things while doing a 15 min stretch routine and i feel silly#but silly is okay as long as i keep going#edit: haha wow this post blew up. im gonna tag it with a few things to maybe help me find it later if necessary#sisyphus#body maintenance#popular post
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#i don't believe that people for serious reasons sort their books any way but by author#and then obviously by release date/series within that#i am being told that i am being JUDGY#also if you sort your books any other way HOW DO YOU FIND THEM#i really need to know#polls#can't believe i forgot to include genre in here
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it is legit bizarre to me how hard video game creators and film directors and showrunners try to pretend that fat people don't exist. can you think of the last time you saw a fat person in a lead role? god forbid a fat woman? i can walk down the street or go into a shop or restaurant and see fat people everywhere but then i switch on the tv and suddenly it's like a glimpse into an alternate universe where no one has a bmi over 24. insidious and weird
#i don't wanna sound dramatic but it's just so crazy that it's like this and nobody even talks about it#tbh disability is like this too - you don't see fat people and you don't see disabled people unless it's a joke or a plot point#'we don't want to glamourise obesity' it's not 'glamourising' anything. it's showing the world as it is.#sure you can create a world devoid of all the people you don't find aesthetically pleasing but at least acknowledge that you're doing that#fatphobia#weight talk cw#ableism#be shh now#containment breach
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this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen
#lol good luck finding all of the photoshopped versions in the rb history. ‘manatee restored’ is still my favorite of all time#misc#I encourage anyone dyslexic to try rotating him in your mind. I can’t do that; which is why I’m asking you to.#also: a bunch of tags are surprised this isn’t ‘shopped#it’s the lighting. backlit by the sun (which is diffused through the water) but also forelit artificially#the artificial light - a flash pack or something - casts a hard shadow under the creatures arm#which normally wouldn’t be possible if backlit by the SUN; you’d see a less-hard/more-fragmented shadow above water#as light sources ‘compete’ in a sense - and since there aren’t any light sources which can outshine the literal sun#it looks a bit weird when the darkest shadow is being cast from any other origin point - which is what’s essentially happening here#I don’t know the mechanics of how light travels through water; but I know the effect is substantial even with relatively short distances#also: it’s been balanced and color corrected by the author of the photo - who made deliberate choices to bring out the full potential#so it’s not like it’s a fresh and untouched export#but the kind of ‘tacked on’ appearance of the creature is a result of the lighting conditions within the image
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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Penelope's final gambit, you will always be famous, no matter the subtext.
#poorly drawn odyssey#the odyssey#odysseus#penelope#epic the musical#Epic's version was very sweet and very well executed (and so cathartic!)#But Odyssey Penelope is *so* done with all the bullshit at this point in the story.#Credit where it is due; at this point she's been through a lot.#And to top if all off - her own son and one of the few maids on her side are buying into this (supposed) ruse.#This cannot have been the only time someone tried to pull this trick on her either.#Its the contrast between: 'Oh you're My husband?' and 'Ohh *sureeee* you're my husband. Just like the 30 other 'Odys' before you.'#The olive tree bed trick is a great gambit because it really is the final test to verify his identity.#I'm just a sucker for couples who have a secret only they know between them I suppose!#The match each other in will and wit! They will always find each other!!!#Anyways. The Odyssey is a worthwhile read and I highly recommend it. Epic is also a great musical worth checking out.
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a Zaunite jayvik au I’m thinking about writing…
#jayvik#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayce x viktor#arcane#galaxy draws#listen this is a guarantee with me#you give me a hot man I will find ways to make him hotter#i do it for my people
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