#and i was like well u have beef with my boss u have beef with me

[filmsnroses]

normalize standing up for ALL your loved ones, even your boss 🫶🏼

[newtkive]

shift shenanigans - social media au (pt. 2)

note: yes there’s the main work chat w carmy, the secret coworker chat w/o carmy, and the secret secret bestie chat w syd, marcus, and yourself. it would be canon.

warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes

part one

liked by carmyberzatto, marcus.brooks11 and 40 others

chefboyardee: life lately

see all 9 comments

syd_adamu: that pho was life changing

↳ chefboyardee: i think it was the best i’ve ever had

marcus.brooks11: feet off the table @syd_adamu

↳ chefboyardee: leave my girl alone

↳ richietheking: I knew you guys were lez

↳ syd_adamu: we aren’t and you can’t say that

↳ chefboyardee: oh.. we aren’t? ☹️😔

↳ syd_adamu: 😑

carmyberzatto: 🍲🔥

THE GOLDEN TRIO

[ 7:45 AM ]

y/n: did you see

did you see

did

you

see

ogmgokggkowkfofsk

syd: pardon??

what did richie do oh my god

did he post another picture of him with the gun from that one day

fuckkkk carmys gonna be so mad

marcus: nope i wish

y/n: he commented on my post 😭😭😭😭

syd: who

marcus: think about it

who else would cause this reaction

y/n: carmy!!!!!!!

i woke up to him commenting 🍲🔥 😍😍😍😍

syd: woah and the heart eyes?

y/n: no that’s my addition

syd: the bar is in hell

HES YOUR BOSS

y/n: AND I WANT HIS BABIES??

marcus: y’all so hype to be pregnant THEN BOOOMMM ‼️ THE BABY’S UGLY AND BALD WITH ECZEMA 😩🤨

syd: LMFAOOOOO WHOS YALL THO????

y/n: bye im done

im leaving for work.

don’t talk to me ever again

done.

marcus: bye 👋

why do you leave so early fool

syd: so she can be teachers pet

marcus: smh always there before everyone

y/n: not true.

syd: i thought you weren’t talking to us

y/n: 😒

marcus: want me to bring y’all an iced latte again

y/n: …. 😁

WORK

[ 8:15 AM ]

y/n: AYOOOO

great job cleaning up after work yesterday 😊👍

richie: Is this a joke?

y/n: why would i joke about such a thing

carmy: Y/n what are you doing

y/n: u said to tell everyone their housekeeping is shitty

carmy: No I said I was going to tell them that, and you said no I’ll do it

This is not what I meant

y/n: well you yell too much

marcus: ouch

that’s my station 😔

carmy: Well clean it better

y/n: im using reverse psychology and positive reinforcement

carmy: Not what that means

y/n: well notice how no one’s mad at me

im making alliances day by day

richie: You’ve worked here for two years and we are already friends

y/n: so you’re saying you aren’t my ally

richie: No

We are definitley in an alliance

y/n: love u richie

richie: Don’t go that far

chefboyardee’s instagram stories

WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩

[ 3:25 PM ]

y/n:

he so fine im bouta cermmmmm

syd: …..

marcus: :O

y/n: why are you acting shocked

like i haven’t said this daily

tina: Woah girl who?

y/n: HUH

richie: I’m not in the picture I don’t get it

syd: let’s just keep working before carmy notices

tina: I don’t care I’m on smoke break. Who are you talking about girl? Spill the tea..

marcus: she was talking about me you guys

y/n: the guy in the back

oh i mean yeah marcus

tina: The meat delivery guy? He has a wife..

y/n: we are having an affair

marcus: no it’s about me

richie: I didn’t know Marcus and Y/n were a thing..

tina: Something ain’t right. No way they are.

marcus: we aren’t it’s just our sense of humor

y/n: i was just being funny!

tina: What did Jeff just yell inside?

syd: came out of the office and said “just cuz we’re slow doesn’t mean you can play on your phones” 👍💯

tina: Whatever. No chance Y/n meant Marcus. You got the hots for Jeffrey?

y/n: what no

tina: Well I wouldn’t blame you. He’s cute

y/n: OMG RIGHTTTTTTT

its the tattoos isn’t it

richie: You have to be fucking joking

tina: I was playing..

y/n: im confused

syd: that was cruel

marcus: who cares it’s not a big deal

y/n: so you don’t think he’s cute tina?? ☹️☹️

tina: No he is cute… for you 😝

y/n: this is humiliating

richie: I’ll tell him

y/n: NO

stop

sSTOP THATS NOT FUNNY

richie im not joking i’ll put a bomb in your floorboards

richie: I’m just fucking with you kid

tina: This isn’t over.

THE GOLDEN TRIO:

[ 3:40 PM ]

syd: y/n….

marcus: you look like a ghost y/n

y/n: i cannot believe i sent that to the wrong gc

i’m done im so done

marcus: stop looking so sad it’s making me feel bad

syd: it’s okay! just be thankful it wasn’t to the work groupchat with him in it..

marcus: true it could be worse

y/n: i guess so

thank you for trying to cover for me marcus

marcus: anytime you know i got you

syd: let’s get back to work before we start looking obvious

[hbojoel]

PLEASE write something for richie jerimovich maybe you’re carmys sister and you all work at the beef 🫶🏻🫶🏻

ANON i am overjoyed at this request. thank you so much for being my first ask and my first official post on here!!!

18+ for some elusions to sex

word count: 1.3k

pairing: richie jerimovich x f!reader (only gendered term used is sister)

Nat never wanted you in the restaurant.

Even after re-opening, the name change, the renovation–it was still something she wanted you separate from. Protected from. It was the start and end of many fights.

And you still found a way to weasel in.

Family, prep, hands; it didn't matter, but you were eager to help. To be useful. It mattered to your brother and sister, and that meant it mattered to you.

There's a shout of corner! as you walk through the swinging door. Tina's the first to see you, chopping onions with a quickness you'd never been able to master. You put in the hours, you learned the techniques, it was just something about a knife you couldn't get down. Or maybe it was the tears that sprung to your eyes no matter how many times you'd practiced. 

"Hi, baby," Tina smiles and tilts her cheek to you so you can kiss it. "Jeff is in the office, Nat's... you saw Nat, si?"

"Si, T, thank you."

Nat was in the front of house, fidgeting with the plate settings and rolled-up napkins. It must be pregnancy hormones or something because she's only gotten more nit-picky and everyone's noticing it.

Syd and Marcus greet you as you walk past them, in search of something you can't seem to find.

You peek your head in the walk-in. Nope.

Rap your knuckles against the open office door, nodding to Carmy on the phone, finding the room empty apart from him. You mouth his name but Carm's never been that good at lip-reading, so it's a benign effort. 

You push the back door open and spot him by the dumpster smoking a cigarette. 

Bingo.

"Psst," you say as you walk over to him slowly. 

He looks up at you through a cloud of smoke that doesn't hide his grimace as well as he thinks it does.

"Whadda ya doin' here? I told you to stay home. Never fuckin' listen." 

You steal the cigarette from between his fingers and wiggle it above him, grinning like the cat who got the cream.

"Not the boss of me." You quirk a brow.

Richie gets up off his feet. You instinctually back up to get a better look at his face, but he wraps an arm around your waist to hold you in place. You're craning your neck to look him in the eye, but you don't back down. You'll never hear the end of it if you do.

"Not the boss, huh?" This close, you can taste the smoke on his breath, puffing in the cold of autumn.

You bounce on your heels just slightly. "Nope," popping the P. "Not on the papers."

"You don't fuckin–" He puts distance between the two of you to throw his hands up in exasperation, "you don't even work here!"

Biting back your smile, barely, you say, "I'm family."

"Oh, you little shit," he says, and then he's on you, lifting you up and carrying you til your back hits the cold metal of his car. "Brat."

It's not exactly a secret that the two of you are an item, but there hasn't been a public announcement either. Richie had come a long way–a long way–from who he used to be, but Carmy remembered, and Sugar remembered, and that was a lot to have hanging over your head when it turned out he wanted their little sister. 

So the two of you are cautious. Never at work, which is part of the reason you shouldn't be here, part of the reason RIchie's all riled up in the first place.

He'd told you to stay at his place, promising he'd be back before dinner. That was at seven, and who's to say if you heard him correctly, in your sleep-addled state. You'll blame it on that. 

Richie's apartment was nice–he'd eaten you out on that kitchen island more times than you can count–but it was lonely. And you missed him. And maybe you had to walk or Uber your way there, and maybe he wasn't so happy with you in the streets of Chicago by yourself, and maybe it was an unspoken rule.

And maybe you had just broken it by showing up here.

"Sorry," you whisper, and kiss away any protests forming on his tongue.

He lets you, for a while, only because he missed you, too. He rubs his hands up and down your back, sure that you must be freezing in the thin pants you're in on the unforgiving cold of the trunk of his car. He pulls back and you follow his mouth blindly.

"Sweetheart."

"What?" You whine.

Richie huffs a laugh.

"You're not s'posed to be here." He cards a hand gently through your hair.

You shrug your shoulders petulantly, not meeting his eyes now. "Missed you."

Richie makes a sound like he's in pain, and then he cups your face in his hand and squeezes your cheeks together gently, like he has that cuteness-aggression thing Marcus was telling him about a while ago. You're too sweet for him.

"I missed you, too," he whispers, releasing your face to smooth back your hair and press a kiss to your forehead. "I'm in the middle of one thing and then we can go home, okay?"

You nod slowly, leaning your head into his chest. 

Richie smiles to himself. "That means you gotta get up, baby." He slaps what he can reach of your ass lightly. 

You shake your head against his heartbeat. "Carry me?"

Richie's heart hurts with how much he adores you. He might just get down on one knee right there. He picks you up and calls you baby in a scolding voice instead. If you mind, you don't make an effort to show it.

He stops and sets you gently on your feet after the short distance and opens the passenger door for you, watching as you plop down into the seat unceremoniously. 

Just five minutes. He could finish in just five minutes, and then he can take you home.

"Okay," he starts, bends down to kiss your forehead again, and you lift your head expectantly for a goodbye kiss. He gives you one. "Five minutes and I'm out, got it? I'll get you a Sprite if you want it, and then I'm all yours." 

You look up at him grinning, open-mouthed, and nod. "Keys?"

Richie pats the pockets of his jeans. "Keys, keys... they're in my locker, give me two seconds, baby, so you don't freeze out here." The car reverberates with the force of him shutting the door as he jogs back inside the Beef.

"Whatchu up to, papa?" Tina calls from the kitchen. 

"Keys," Richie shouts back, "gotta take the baby home."

Tina's behind him in record time, watching him turn his locker inside-out in his search. "Taking your girl home, huh?"

"Oh, shut up." Richie turns to face her and finds a shit-eating grin staring right at him.

"Careful, Jeff," she says as she walks away, "you'll get yourself in trouble."

Richie rolls his eyes, pockets his keys, and walks back out to you.

You open the door for him again, and he drops the keys in your lap. 

"All good?" 

"All good except Tina fuckin' knows." 

You laugh before you realize you're doing it. Richie is not so amused.

"What, that's funny? I gotta hear it at work now all 'cause you got lonely?" 

You reach your hand up and into the pocket of his leather jacket. "Everyone knows, Richie. It's okay. Go and hurry up, I'm cold."

"Shit," he swears. "Here." His jacket is draped across your shoulders and now it's him shivering, and you would protest, but it would be fruitless. Richie would get frostbite before he let you catch a cold.

One last kiss is dropped on your forehead in lieu of a goodbye. "Five minutes and I'll be back, okay?"

"Okay," you nod, hand on the door, even though Richie's already pushing it shut. "I'll time you."

[chelzone]

My WIP Games Ahead: An Assortment

feeling like rambling a bit to get myself motivated to work on stuff right now, as well give a fresh update on what projects ive been tending to this year. just gonna focus on three that have had a lotta work put into em already

not gonna tag this one since its a mixture of SFW and NSFW and hidden under a read more. dont open if u dont wanna read about the latter (more specifically expansion kink stuff)

Hallowed Discharge

this one i've been putting my heart and soul into for a long while now, as it's a mountain of coding and writing despite only being maybe 25-30% finished argubly. made within the Quest text adventure engine, much like my released SFW game Kindred Spirit. Hallowed Discharge revolves around a pooltoy priest named Reverend Artemis, and his task in trying to nonlethally expel a hell of a lot of spirits from an abandoned mall named Delícias do Vale. features a hell of a lot of NPCs to chat with, tons of tasks to do for the most important of spirits, a mixture of percentage-based stats to be mindful of (weight, faith, and energy), and a fuckton of early game overs if u aint careful along the way. so far currently i'd say half of the first floor's tended to, same for the basement, and nothing for the second floor or general outside yet.

last time i tinkered with this, i was tending to a mission where the player has to attempt to fix fuses around the mall to restore partial power to the basement generators (mechanically it works code-wise, still need to move them to proper areas before the task can be completed properly). as for the justification of kinky stuff, our beloved goddess of expansion herself Her Divine is puppeting the show from above

Enchanted Bliss

another game with a lotta heart put into it, this one's a SFW visual novel made within Ren'Py (my first proper one at that in said engine!). Enchanted Bliss revolves around a newbie and mid-to-late 20 something wizard Dylan Rhodes, being strung along on a mission with a bunch of professional wizards / coworkers (a field exercise for Rhodes, a bigger deal of trouble for the rest). within the ruined city of Filia Lunae, Dylan will have to tag up with one of their coworkers to investigate a part of said city and hopefully score a friendship / a romantic relationship along the way (or even beef it completely).

last time i worked on this, ive been in the process of redoing the art style completely to be a more neon and line-focused one (as seen in the image above). fuck ton of emotion sprites are done for the protagonist Dylan, supporting character / mission boss Carmichael, and one of said coworkers - Brava Denvers. still have to draw the rest of the emotions for the other 5 coworkers. past that ive made 16 short music loops (1 min or so each) that might wind up in the game or its soundtrack slated for post-game release in the years ahead. still a lot of drawing, writing, and music-making ahead along with sourcing any royalty free / public domain sounds with credits of course. current playable section is just the tutorial / introduction camp before starting any of the six routes

The Ballad of Hush and Clover

another kinky game, though this one made in the flicksy 2 engine much like me released SFW game For Your Eyes. this one revolves around wizard couple and toony folks Evelyn Hush an Patsy Clover, heading off to the Nilbrook Mountain Chain to investigate a strange cave stumbled upon by a coworker. from there, they stumble upon a small fragment of what used to be temple to the (shocker) goddess Her Divine. there, a mystical figure emerges as a proxy of said goddess an offers a challenge for one (whichever the player chooses) of the toony spouses / wizards present.

with enough vague story rambling outta the way, it's basically gonna be a point and click sort of storybook thang. you'll either be playing as Evelyn OR Patsy - not both. each spouse has their own setting and associated adventure in a simulated dimension tied to their challenge (the other stays behind in the real world with the mentioned figure / proxy). so far a fuckton of scenes are drawn for it already, fulfilling the entirety of gameplay in the introduction and tutorial. gameplay elements besides traveling From Here to There will also be opportunities to use your powers, think about the situation ahead, chat with the folks within the challenge, and utilize a map to figure out where the hell ur at.

last time i worked on it i started making the early parts of both playable stories for each respective protagonist. Evelyn gets to deal with potential inflation mischief on an airship resort of sorts, while Patsy deals with potential fattening mischief on a cross-country luxury train of sorts. this one has been fun as fuck to draw and write for, and is chock full of visuals oh my lord

anyway if uve read this or even a chunk of this write-up, thanks! feel its important to remind folks that im still working on things and offer any progress updates when i can lol. at the moment of writing (08-29-2024) im prob gonna try hopping back into game dev for one or all of these come early September this year. id say realistically it'll be a hot minute until i release any of these three (most work needed for Hallowed Discarge, least needed for The Ballad of Hush and Clover, yadda yadda)

[the-good-bad-truth]

Pretty Megan Fox is actually poisonous

In Hollywood, Megan Fox was always portrayed as this hot, bad maneater girl that would say what she wanted when she wanted, even if it was appropriate or not. However, people that praise her for her “rebel” persona, dismiss a lot of her toxic behavior and inappropriate things

1.Says things, gets backlash, but instead of taking accountability for the words she CHOOSES to say, she blames others(media/society)

Made it seem like MGK cheated on her by using a Beyonce lemonade lyric, started following Eminem (previous beef with mgk), then responded to a comment that said he(mgk) probably cheated on her with Sophie (mgk’s female guitarist (who has long-time bf) --led to Sophie getting hate for a week until Megan decided to respond by saying this:

She blamed the media for a rumor that she caused whether that was her intention or not, she also dismissed the hate that Sophie was getting by making it seem like it was an initiation for Sophie

Attended a boxing event and later said this about Trump “He was a legend. That arena was very supportive of Trump when he came in.” she got backlash about this cuz trump is a controversial figure to say the least and she responded by saying and once again blaming "uneducated people":

Referred to Michael Bay “He wants to be like Hitler on set and he is” she was fired cuz of this even if Michael didn’t take offense to this but Steven Spielberg (transformer producer, who is Jewish) took offense, rightfully so.

How u going to compare a dictator who k millions of people to someone whose your boss, working on a film u signed up for?

Uses her Bisexuality as a marketing tool

This is going to sound controversial, but I have my doubts that Megan fox is bisexual, or she at least uses it for the male gaze or female gaze as well.

Her bisexual awakening story: "Well, that year my boyfriend broke up with me, and I decided - oh man, sorry, mommy! - that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop," said Fox. "I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita."

Fox said Nikita would do "these beautiful slow dances to Aerosmith ballads." The actress also said she would bring the Russian stripper gifts and try to inspire her to quit her line of work.

This is weird that she went for a girl after a failed relationship with a man and also that she was trying to "Save" this girl from this type of work.

Bisexual means a person who is attracted to and can fall in love with a man or woman. Megan is Bisexual, she can fall in love with both, so isn’t it inappropriate that she posed with Kourtney Kardashian in a sort of sexual manner or that she jokingly asks Adriana lima on a date or made a caption saying, “Currently seeking a gf, submit applications in dms.”  while still in a relationship w/mgk.

This may be reaching but isn’t that kind of weird cuz what if mgk posed with Halsey and she was sitting on his lap or if used the same captions, he would be getting called out? Right? cuz as she said in an interview, he's not allowed to have girls in his music videos, it's the queen or no one.

How she love bombs or manipulates those around her

Called him her twin flame, stronger than a soulmate knowing that mgk is a sensitive person and that she can manipulate him by making him and others believe that he is the one and she can heal him

“Megan added: "I think it was the second day, I asked him to come into my trailer for lunch, and I put him through all of this astrology stuff." 

She added: "I went deep right away. I knew before I even did his chart, I said to him, he has a Pisces moon. I could tell by his energy."

Got his nickname tatted on her collarbone to show that she is dedicated to him after barely dating a few months.

Trip to Costa Rica: "So we went to Costa Rica to do ayahuasca in a proper setting with indigenous people," Fox said, referring to the psychoactive tea, which is used as a spiritual medicine and can cause hallucinations. "... So I was thinking it was like glamping, like it was gonna be some kind of five-star experience.

Though the actress said she and her rocker beau had reservations about throwing up, which she described as a necessary step, the Transformers star called it "such a good bonding experience" overall.

This trip was her idea since they did it around the time of her birthday and she might have gaslit him into doing this. Could be jokes, but y is she making it seem that this religious ceremony of Costa Rican natives seems like she was going to a spa trip.

Romanticizes toxicity or trauma.

Dressed up as Pamela Anderson and tommy lee for halloween and used the caption: “But are these even costumes.”

If u don’t know pam/tommy were a toxic relationship that was exploited by hollywood and also Tommy went to prison for 6mths after hitting Pam while she was holding their son.

“Do you think you have a death wish?” the radio host asked MGK, whose birth name is Colson Baker. “That was actually a text that Megan had sent me, it was something along the lines of ‘if we have to live a life where we have to see each other with different people, then we should just go out murder/suicide,’” the singer responded.

Poem she wrote about their relationship: the tale of two outcasts and star-crossed lovers caught in the throes of a torrid, solar flare of a romance featuring: feverish obsession, guns, addiction, Shamans, lots of blood, general mayhem, therapy, tantric night terror, binding rituals, chakra sound baths, psychedelic hallucinations, organic smoothies, and the kind of sex that would make Lucifer clutch his rosary.”

Rehab Barbie nickname, based on the song, contain lyrics such as 

“They took away all your credit

But you know how you can get it

Your father's dying of cancer

Your intervention is the answer

You'll say that you don't really need it”

His father died of cancer by the way, but maybe it’s just a cute nickname for her, I guess.

Makes light or doesn’t acknowledge serious topics

A politician accused megan of forcing a gender on her son,(which never involve children for you political agenda) and she responded by saying:

"I really don’t want to give you this attention because clearly you're a clout chaser but let me teach you something," Fox wrote. "Irregardless of how -0desperate you may become at any given time to acquire wealth, power, success, or fame - never use children as leverage or social currency, especially under malevolent and erroneous pretense of exploiting my child’s gender identity to gain attention in your political campaign has put you on the wrong side of the universe."

She then followed this up by making a joke of the whole situation, which i found a little bit weird cuz she made it seem like it was just a hater or someone coming after her cuz she's a "Witch" not someone coming for her child:

She got rid of her Marilyn Monroe tattoo because “Megan said that Marilyn "was a negative person" and also called her "disturbed" due to rumors of Monroe's mental health challenges. Further, the actress elaborated that she felt that having Marilyn's face tatted on her would "attract this kind of negative energy."

Goes to Hawaii all the time even though natives have been saying not to go cuz their land is being taken and our suffering financially.

Made fun/imitated Britney spears voice.

Used a Human trafficking poster in her post where she alluded to him cheating, which she later claimed it was the media's fault.

Anger Issues

Threatened to stab brian, no guns allowed or she would shoot him

She said: “My temper is ridiculously bad. I’ve had to say to Brian, ‘You have to go and stop talking to me, because I’m going to kill you. I’m going to stab you with something, please leave.’ ”

The 23-year-old star admits she is so worried about her emotional reactions, she won’t let herself be around firearms incase she injured Brian.

She added to Rolling Stone magazine: “I’d never own a gun for that reason. I wouldn’t shoot to kill. But I would shoot him in the leg, for sure.”

Fox has previously confessed she finds on-screen violence “sexy”.

Scribbled in marker like a child throwing a tantrum, poems on the wall after she got mad at him.

Alter ego when she’s mad at mgk is named “jennifer check”

In conclusion, Megan fox is not that innocent as she claims to be. Yes, she has probably faced misogyny and other potentially traumatic things in Hollywood or in life. However, this should not excuse or dismiss her toxic tendencies.

p.s this is probably just a few of the problematic things she has done or said.

[camp-queer-and-there]

lucille my old hag can you hit that

THIS SHIT LACED😭 im forreal a freak just lmk👀👅 ohio skibidi toilet oi oi oi😏 maxdesignpro WHAT!? HELP ME! HELP = 👍 fetus sebastian hes so ugly i cant would you rather have 1 million dollars or CANCER! art is lowkey so amazingly beautiful...gigachad sigma LET HIMM COOK!🗣️🗣️ uwu >_< anyone got anyone spongebob x reader👀 only in eastern latvia💀 ohio final boss grimace shake charlie the steak ishowspeed kai cenat the amazing digital circus pomni garten of banban caseoh gyatt super mogger looksmaxxing based and redpilled diabolical lick😈erm what the sigma oh! thats not!- getting my top surgery done at claires POV: youre ben shapiros mom and hes convincing to let him get gta5 i feel like calling you a slur.. what type of gay are you, since you dont have it in your bio... the european mind cannot comprehend this drew phillips: hello im drew phillips the ahh magic i finna be in the pit on cap. 123°!? gurrrll we are not thanksgiving turkeys😂and thats on period fahrenheit lankybox elisocray INSANE UNBOXING! gegagedigedagedago we can go gyatt for gyatt fuck that we can go rizz for rizz 19 bucks for the fortnite card double pump with the fanum tax THE BIG APPLE! drake vs kendrick beef p diddy dr disrespect annoying orange if garlic was a person my name is drake and im here to say.. kendrick lamar your disses arent okay! diss me diss me now you gotta kiss me quandale dingle mf doom dookie baby girl my pookie wubbleshmubble kins whats hurts more than being yelled at be skinned alive probably pov: i am your cashier during february (and i notice you are black) you look like tyler the creator if he was in my dreams ray william johnson sybrian dancing lady oh when the saints go marching in oh when the saints go marching in todoroki gives birth alone jumbo josh is lost in the zumb sauce lightskin touch the moon bozo cant im walking my fish why are frogs so stupid show me your griddy show me your griddy.... show me your... DOHHH THATS ONE WAY TO HIT THE GRIDDY. THATS ONE WAY TO HIT THE GRIDDY grwm to go to bath and body works temu workers getting ready to clock in day in the life of a twitch streamer your final challenge.. let yo bih go through your phone!... AH HELL NAW YO ASS TWEAKIN JIGSAW quavo stop thats the gayest shit ever amoeba sisters angst preppycon 2024 kart ride into spongebob youve been here before.. a weirdcore dreamcore kidcore clowncore playlist. my talking tom her body tea is insane😭 my aura is unmatched DO NOT PLAY CREEPY BATH GAME AT 3AM!!!!!!!! *THIS IS WHY* ALMOST DROWNED school isnt done but i am💀 omg u did call me baby.. maybe ..omg did he call her baby.. maybe.. im not okay..... bark for me. pov family dinner😭💀why u so pissed ...what me when i get mustard for christmas yall when i put on my dad fit "FREAKYbob" I AINT ANSWERING!! HELPP IM DEADDDD wait no im not maya winky boyfriend takes you out to eat but his opps slide on him [boyfriend asmr] mrbeast might ne TOO BIG to he cancelled squid games i hope someone dies and goes to hell today me staring at the sephora employee in the eye as i "sample" a $800 perfume cats when you cover their cage with a blanket blud thinks hes the main character💀 omg a rare gyatt sighting ninja fortnite sneako the ocky way new yorkian vermontian how 10 yr old me felt after putting "i dont speak tags" in an argument holy fricking smokes dude.. my cut is insane... shout out to my barber dawg! bro thinks hes the thinker waterless baked water what i would wear to my isis execution why did my dog just punch me😓 #STOPBULLYING💯

i mean.. i kind of ocd😁 you mean OBESity stop doing the golden freddy pose youre scaring the kids when a client wants to trauma dump first session when i dont have enough diamonds on episode so now i gotta shit in the school hallway in front of my crush phone and youtube video lobster activity someone shot trump in the ear he wouldnt have missed goku drip well my mother always said the best flowers get picked first dudes been waiting for his mcflurry since 1786 ladies ladies one at a time please😍 rio de janeiro the oppblock hazbin hotel boy rejoice creepy autism simulator my scary silent hill whos ivan mac n cheeks freak island home sweet home.. blud always looking at sum😭😭😭when face id acting up so you gotta LOCK IN fuck im washed WAIT IM GOATED why the mob isnt a fucking aesthetic: a thread this where the magic happens👅 style griddy👀

what

- ⌛

[toastsnaffler]

Would love to hear ur thoughts on Hades game sometime because I too loved but had beef with the game and I think we are the same ….

yessss, disclaimer I haven't played it for like 3 years and I only played 10 hours/got to the end once before I dropped it so i might be misremembering some things but I stick by my opinions! under the cut cuz this is long as fuck 🫣 my haterism has no limits

ok so basically my grievances w hades can be split into 2 main areas: gameplay + narrative, I'll break them down in that order.

firstly gameplay - roguelikes/lites are my fave genre so I was predominantly approaching hades from this angle + its failure here is the clincher for me.

I found the gameplay repetitive and stale. this isnt a criticism of its permadeath like ive seen some ppl make - I usually relish repetition/grind especially in permadeath-based games bc I find tactical challenge fun + love the learning curve, its soooo rewarding. but hades is ultimately just a glorified button masher. mob/boss movesets are boring + unoriginal, and can generally all be fought the same way. trying to do otherwise drags out fights; it actively discourages emergent gameplay so theres little variance WITHIN runs. the pool of rooms for procedural generation is far too small so theres little variance BETWEEN runs. there's no real challenge to combat, difficulty is mainly increased by heightened mob tankiness as you get further in a run. movement/combat doesn't flow well, its mechanically very weak, relying heavily on its permanent upgrade system instead of developing skill in the way you approach the game. all the weapons feel clunky and don't really offer any unique challenge/benefit so theres virtually no point switching between them and the grind to unlock them all is so pointless… god there are just SOOO many hack n slash crawlers that keep it fresh even for hundreds of hours and hades fails miserably at keeping it fresh for even 5 measly hours :^/

I didnt like the boon system either - its far too simplistic + shallow. its fine to rely on chance, this is part of the random generation, and I think it had a lot of potential in that it was a good way of combining aesthetic w gameplay itself. but this is pretty much the only form of resource management - and theres barely any management to it! theres no reward for exploring different builds, they dont really synergise BETWEEN gods in interesting or useful ways, so the game encourages you to just stick with one god throughout, and biases random generation towards boons youve already collected. part of the fun for me is learning HOW to design a build, and working with the randomiser to play flexibly, but hades just isnt interested in that at all...

also - I don't like the permanent upgrade system, I think this detracts from it as a rogue. every time you should be starting on square 1 - maybe you pick up health upgrades etc throughout each run, and maybe you unlock new weapons etc for the random generation pool, or purely cosmetic upgrades, but the point of permadeath is that it RESETS! zags base health + dmg should be the same 50 hours into the game as when u first open it. make a different genre of game if u dont wanna do that lol. I also think IF youre going to say fuck it and add a permanent upgrade system, you should also add unlockable permanent biome shortcuts bc ur just making it boring as fuck to have to waste time grinding thru earlier biomes with unskippable combat once youre op for them.

I GET that they did this to make the game more accessible* to players who dont typically enjoy rogues, but it just makes it really disappointing for those of us who DO love rogues, and it always feels cheap to me when games are like "well of you want challenge then set the difficulty yourself with these modifiers 🙄" like just make the base difficulty TOUGH up front and then add an easy/story mode and accessibility features* for players who don't want the challenge.. if you're gonna call yourself a rogue the gameplay should be the PRIORITY not a throwaway option

one of my biggest peeves with hades is how people now laud it as one of the best rogues - whenever I mention I like the genre I almost always get asked "oh, like hades?" and it pisses me off so much… its a rogueLITE not roguelike, ie. it has rogue ELEMENTS but its not a true one and imo, it does a pretty shit job implementing them! I would have a lot less resentment towards it if it wasnt marketed as the forefront of the rogue genre - frankly its a very basic rogue with very mid gameplay, its characters/design are by FAR its strong point and it should be sold as such. its misleading and makes me sad that this is what most people think of when they hear rogue :-(

*(side note - accessibility in this game is another major flaw. theres really no excuse for a game as popular as this to be so lacking in accessibility options. allow people to bind keys together or use coloured outlines or have colourblindness settings or alter font/text size etc - its not that hard! dead cells did a great job of this lol)

anyway... moving onto my second criticism - narratively, its also unsatisfying.

the hades plot is, loosely, about a cycle of abuse, so the 2 natural directions to go in with this are either: #1: escaping the cycle, or #2: continuing it forever.

#2 is the easiest to do with a rogue format - bc of permadeath the game is already cyclical, so all you have to do is create an ending which loops perfectly back to the start (smth like 'its impossible to truly defeat/reconcile with his father so even after zag beats him, hades drags him back to the start again). obviously this is a miserable story to tell, but tbh I think it wouldve been interesting + fitting - so much of greek mythos is about cycles and the unchanging nature of the gods, and they LOVED eternal cyclical punishments. plus theres smth rly tragic about zag gradually helping everyone else while no one else can save him from his family LOL

#1 is a bit harder to do - this is the story they WANTED to tell but I just don't think it worked… the driving force plot-wise is his desperation to escape. realistically for this to happen the game needs to be finite, which it can't be due to its rogue nature - somehow you have to end up at the very start again. the main solutions I can think of for this are:

a) after the final boss, insert some time travel shenanigans (easy to fit into the worldbuilding using a character like kronos) and all of zags progress with hades is unspooled. this can be completely out of his control, or it could be a choice the player makes (to end the game here or choose to go back and relive zags past in order to progress npc questlines). eg. what happens in dead cells. again, tragic but it makes more sense to me

-or b) bite the bullet and give the game a completely finite ending after beating hades. if players want to go back and play more to complete other npc questlines, they pick up play from before they beat hades. this isnt explained "narratively" bc the plot is already concluded and now theyre just playing for fun (eg. what going under does)

I also think for a character-focused story-rich game, roguelite was a really terrible choice of genre as it locks every interaction behind pure chance and hours of grinding - just really baffling why they decided to do this, especially when theyve had such success previously making games within different genres (transistor, bastion, pyre). the core of the issue for me is that the devs wanted to create a game that was both story rich AND a rogue - and these things arent mutually exclusive, but the best features of each contradict each other when you try to balance them in a way to appease their respective fans (ie. the challenge/complexity of the gameplay is heavily restricted by keeping it easy for ppl unfamiliar with rogues to pick up, but the strength of the narrative arc is simultaneously weakened by the fact that as a rogue it has to be perpetual bc of permadeath + you're working with procedural generation…)

I'm not going to beef with the artstyle or music bc I rly loved them both (even if I wish the body diversity was better!), or with the interpretations of greek gods bc literally every piece of media abt greek mythos has to decide how to interpret them and I think its silly to be like "this isnt CANON" - since we actually dont HAVE a strict "canon" for many of these stories bc theyve been retold/translated in so many conflicting ways lol. I've just heard ppl complaining abt that and I dont think its worth complaining about 🤷‍♀️

ANYWAY tl;dr: hades should've been an action-heavy isometric metroidvania… it wouldve made it far easier to focus on character questlines (ie. with respawn points + a fixed map), unified the story they wanted to tell with the gameplay SO much more effectively, and allowed them to reach the full potential of both, whilst also playing up to supergiant's previous game-making strengths. but thats my 2 cents!

[rebornologist]

Greetings ✨

I wanted to ask if u could make some headcanons about a reader that's Tsuna's (younger) twin sibling? And just kinda how that affects their relationship with the guardians (if that's too many, maybe just Tsuna and Gokudera)?

(btw I am the anon that asked for the gokudera + shy but affectionate s/o and I just wanted to say I absolutely adored those headcanons, thank you so much for writing them 🥺❣️)

I hope you have a wonderful day👋

omg hiii lovely, this is such a cute idea so I tried my best with it! It isn't super fleshed out, because I had to kind of fill in gaps of how his sibling's personality would be like, but here are some of my thoughts :')

♡ Tsuna w/ a twin ✧

CW!! mention of death (in the original TYL timeline), maybe a biiit of a stretch/OOC

༚✧⁺˳₊˚‿︵‿︵‿୨୧ · ˳ · ♡ · ˳ · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿˚₊˳⁺✧༚

Tsuna with a younger twin sounds so adorable, I think they would have a great relationship and his sibling would be his number one supporter, despite the pressure he feels from his parents. When he’s feeling down on his luck, he always turns to them for a willing ear and words of support. Coming from a similar cultural background, I think that Nana would have been harsher on Tsuna growing up because she had higher expectations for him being the older brother (“not by much!” he always argues when his younger sibling tries to leverage their being 20 minutes younger to get what they want), but at some point she kind of shifts to focusing more of her hopes in his sibling, especially if they were doing better academically.

Now, depending on if y’all are fraternal or identical twins, Gokudera would have had a field day learning that Tsuna has a twin sibling if it was the latter. I can imagine his “That.. that wasn’t Decimo?! Oh I’M SO SORRY, HOW COULD I EVER MIX UP THE TWO OF THEM, MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES DECIMOANSDKJANSD” (proceeds to sulk)

I really like this concept, because it changes what happens in the future as well. I can only assume that Tsuna’s sibling would have a sky flame as well, and they would technically be next in line for being the boss if Tsuna.. y’know. The guardian that would be most tense about this would be Gokudera. He would want to make a good image of himself for them, since they’re Tsuna’s family... but there’s also a seed of suspicion in him, especially early on, when he begins to overthink about how.. messy, mafia inheritance can be. I think as time went on, Tsuna’s sibling would fight alongside the family, and when things got really bad in the future, the sibling was actually the one that everyone had to turn to in the event of Tsuna’s passing. Technically, that timeline has been written over, but there’s probably a ton of mixed feelings about it from the guardians, because Tsunayoshi had really grown into the perfect boss for the family. His twin just knew him the best out of everyone, so they had to step up when Tsuna was gone. The guardians respect them greatly, but to have to face someone that looks exactly like Tsuna would really break their hearts, and some (Gokudera, Ryohei, and Lambo) would have a harder time hiding their mixed feelings.

When Tsuna first went missing in the present, his twin lost their appetite, and it truly felt like a part of them was gone. I really like the idea that they had to find each other again in the future, because they were transported at different times, and Tsuna definitely cried tears of joy to see the familiar face of his twin in the future.

In natural younger sibling fashion, I think his twin is actually the more aggressive one. They’re more extroverted, but their temper is worse, and they aren’t afraid to say it like it is. This is likely from standing up for their loser-Tsuna twin brother in their childhood years. I think Tsuna’s twin would get along very well with Ryohei, with them actually wanting to push Tsuna to join a club and put himself out there more, which Ryohei really agrees with. Lambo, in childhood, would probably start beef with Tsuna’s twin, just to run and hide with Tsuna because he knows that Tsuna’s the good cop of the duo, but when he’s grown up, he actually ends up being more respectful/afraid of Tsuna for how much he’s changed as he grew into being a mafia don.

Chrome… is amicable with his twin. They’re friendly and respect each other, since they also defended her when Gokudera was giving her shit when she first met him. If Tsuna’s twin hangs out with Kyoko and Haru often, then they’re likely to be one of the girls™.

Yamamoto likes pretending that he can’t tell them apart, even if they’re fraternal. However, he is one of the people that has actually never mixed them up.

Hibari took the longest time to notice that the twin existed, because his fascination with Tsuna grew very slowly, and by extension, his opinion on the people around him and the other Sawada.

Mukuro.. tried to possess the twin to either pretend to be Tsuna, or to leverage them for Tsuna. They kind of became his.. plan b in case possessing the future Decimo did not work out. He speaks to Tsuna in a weird and semi-threatening way, but somehow he's even weirder and more threatening to the sibling because their reactions amuse him.

[galpalo]

No I’m not late, just took a break because school is currently busying my schedule.

if I could fit every screenshot here I would. But the limit. J my girl,,

ALRIGHT, finale episode huh? Yeah I’m not okay either

Ah good ol’ teacher with no canonical name (maybe, the fandom creates a new name for him every season) dudes so done with life he doesn’t care if the world is ending, I wonder if they extended the episode he might’ve had a much bigger role? Like he knew nori and khan before. Would’ve loved to see more of Alice,,

UGHHHHFGHEHDHD DAUGHTER MOTHER MOMENT. FINALLY. THE MOMENT WHEN “solver control me again?” “If you a little bitch” AND ITS SEEN AS PARENTAL ADVISORY. THEM.

he got more assertive with his emotions guys. He told her he was still mad about her whole “self sacrifice” thing back at ep 7. It’s so small yet so much. Guys. Development.

Ah. At least the solver was nice enough to send a message. The inaudible frustration afterwards was funny though-

This. Uzi literally admits being nervous over it because she can’t read the signs well because of how lonesome and isolated she was from her peers (my analysis, I suggest seeing a video or blog that talks deeper into her personality) and N saying that “that was the plan, yeah—“ UGHHSHWUSHUWSHJA

I’m. Gonna screa.m they mean so much to me chat.

The fact N literally gave her a drawing that said “I O U 1 SPACESHIP” is so damn adorable and her IRRITATION with it!! love it. I’m going to talk about this moment so keep it in mind real quick.

Can we appreciate the fact they applied the whole “gravity” space logic into this?? Even when uzi tried to talk with her mom earlier? I love when shows/games do this, hello Lizzy and Thad hope y’all like your time in the near-apocalypse. sorry you guys had to experience it 😭

“I’m fine! And CALM. and GO AWAY.” doesn’t seem calm to me J, lizzy rolling her eyes while Thad is concerned over their fate at that scene. PLEASE. Lizzys beef with that sentinel is like your two friends fighting on a daily basis for petty funsies.

JAW DROPPED. THE MUSIC WAS LITERALLY SO COOL WHEN THE BEAT DROPPED. AND SHES FUCKING BACK???!

YEAH NOT THE TIME TO GO “um actually” J. BUT PLEASE. PLEASE. WE ALL THOUGHT J DIDNT KNOW IT WAS CYN. BUT GUYS. SHE WAS. AND V IS FURIOUS. PLEASE STICK WITH ME THROUGH THIS.

Back at the camp episode, when V said “we do our jobs” it was what J told them all along. “And it leaves us alone/and that thing leaves us alone!” so the solver tricked them into thinking that once their job is over they’ll be left alone, remember when Uzi in the pilot told N that when the disassembly drones job was over that the “humans” would throw discard them? Yeah. Also am I the only one who thinks when J told her to “grow up” it’s like “grow up from the hopes of returning home/to the mansion and the solver leaving us alone”??

AND YOU WERE AWARE OF IT SIS? WERE YOU TRYING TO PROTECT THEM IN YOUR OWJ WAY? but seriously, while we did hate J in the pilot, when you think about it (far fetched but stick with me here) she was being mean and hard on them so they get the job done. So the solver would leave them be. Guys.

so remember how she and Tessa were super close? Yeah? Yeah it probably hurt her yeah. I’m fine. Don’t worry. I.m fine. Vs look of confused concern is no problem. Yeah.

See what I mean. It tortured J off screen. TAUNTED HER even. She even LOOKS upset by it. She wants PEACE. And she’s coping by calling the solver BOSS, THE NAME SHE CALLED TESSA BAKC AT THE MA.NSION.

“I never needed either of you.” leave my girl ALONE.

SCREAMS???THE STRESS IN THIS SCENE?!

fun fact: in the Russian dub when the solver says “you won’t talk to me because I have hurt you feelings.” It instead says “after all, I’ve been alive…” guys. Theorist. Do your thing. Right now my mind is scattered brothers. The same thing happens in the Spanish dub when the solver says “hi N!” It says it in Tessa voice. Guys. It’s taunting them.

And Vs apology before the solver literally IMPALES N. I’m gonna cry. She wasn’t aware the solver literally KILLED Tessa “Tessa is cyn!”

Hello? This moment that I see no one talking about?? Appalling. Maid Vs corpse?? So this is a flashback to episode 5 “home”, to where I assume the massacre already happened and this is when the solver (who canonically was said to have taken cyn as a HOST. confirmed by “Tessa”.) and while this might sound bizarre, is in the process of modeling the drones to disassembly ones??? Guys?? The fear and confusion in the mans eyes? He saw his former crush dead body and his supposed friend tear them both apart?? I pray for a season 2.

[inutaffy]

NOW FOR THE OTHER TAG. "why are they in space" lmao lemme tell u why

OKAY SO! end of season 3 right, all is well, then some alien dinosaur shows up (he's a tricerton. im not spelling it right but idc) and he beats up the mutanimals (ninja turtles friends) and so raph goes after him, tames him ig??? and then dino dude is all "there are KRAANG ON YOUR PLANET" and the turtles are like "lol we got rid of them like 15 episodes ago keep up" but decide the humor dino man anyways EVEN THOUGH HE BEAT THE CRAP OUTTA THEIR FRIENDS??? LIKE OKAY UH SURE ANYWAYS WE'RE GONNA GLOSS OVER THAT- hey btw where did u say the kraang were again??? not that we're worried but yk just in case.....okay yeah can u take us there okay yeah cool thanks

so dino man takes them to where the kraang are hiding out (i think t was the technodrome?? idk its been like a week since i finished s3 but im pretty sure they were in the technodrome. ANYWAYS) dino man takes them there, they beat up some kraang, if u listen closely you'll hear me yelling over leo's fighting style. i just think he's neat, and then they find out that the kraang are doing smth or another at the statue of liberty, so THEN dino dude is like "WE GOTTA DESTROY THE BEACON." so the turtles are like ok CHILL we're doing that rn, cue more fighting with the kraang (WHO ARE ALL TERRIFIED BY DINO DUDE BTW. BC HIS SPECIES IS LIKE THE SWORN ENEMY OF THE KRAANG. THEY ARE NOT BESTIES)

then plot twist, after the kraang retreat, the dino dude is like "i also have to destroy your planet now bc u humans suck ass and also there are kraang everywhere lol there's nothing u can do to stop this" and the turtles (raph specifically, THAT WAS HIS DINO PAL MAN) are like hey wait lets talk this over we JUST saved this fucking planet wdym you're gonna blow us up and then dino dude is like oh im not blowing u up we're just gonna activate a black hole and get rid of this whole galaxy.

the turtles do not like this

so raph is EPIC and destroys the beacon (but not before it signals the rest of the dino army but they don't know that until the next episode rip) oh and also dino dude falls off the statue of liberty and dies

next ep!! the kraang have reassembled and are loading up the technodrome, the turtles gear up to take them down again, then the rest of the dino dude army shows up, shit goes south real quick, mikey gets captured and the others almost get vaporized and leo gets to fly a spaceship again, they rescue mikey piss of the dino general dude meet this AWESOME KRAANG GUY WHO I LOVE his name is agent bishop and i love him, and then they gather all their friends for an epic season finale boss fight to stop the dino dudes from black hole-ing the planet (they get shredder involved too. it's awful. i hate him)

so they're all fighting and stuff, trying to stop the dino army for setting up the black hole thing, AND THEY ALMOST WIN. BUT LIKE I SAID. THEY ENLISTED THE FUCKING SHREDDER. AKA "I HAVE NEVER LET ANYTHING GO EVER. I STUBBED MY TOE ONCE AND NOW I HAVE A PERSONAL BEEF WITH FUNITURE." so shredder does what shredder does best and LITERALLY stabs splinter in the back while he was going to shut off the black hole portal thing. like the bitch he is. and the turtles are like "WHAT THE FUCK." and then the portal is activated and the earth is sucked into a black hole and the turtles are just SITTING THERE holding their dead dad as the world is ending but at the last second a SHIP shows up and this robot (FUGITOID. I LOVE HIM. i know he does something in this season that pisses the turtles off but i forgot what it is) shows up and is like "COME IF YOU WANT TO SURVIVE"

and so they do and fugitoid zooms them away to the relative safety of space and does some time rewind thing that sets them 6 months in the past so that they can now find the black hole portal parts which are scattered across the galaxies before the dino army does and stop them from destroying the earth again and THAT. THAT MY LOVE. is why they are in space.

no. everyone needs to read this. what the fuck

[chomperzzzz]

AAAAAAHHRFR THE FIRST EPISODE?!??!

CHEWING, SCREAMING, SPINNING IN A CIRCLE

WOW. Okay,,,. can we please please PLEASE talk about the first episode because. AAAA

SO. here are some of my like IMMEDIATE thoughts

WOWOWO Teeth!!!!! Oh my GOD (gods?!?!?!)!!!! obsessed. actually so fucking obsessed. I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

WHY IS TEETH'S HOUSE A MUSEUM?!??! clearly they aren't like a celebrity (well at least not a LIKED celebrity akjdshadj) but they're also like clearly VERY well known. Apparently they've committed every single crime ever?? I mean iconic tbh but why a museum?? DId people think they died?? were they EXILED?? so many questions hhrngnh

AS LONG AS WE'RE TLAKING ABOUT TEETH did anyone notice Olive exists as a STORYBOOK in Teeth's reality?? HUH?? THat can happen? AND MARIS LOOKED LIKE TEETH'S ""EXALTED" (spelling??) WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? How are the "realities" connected??? What connects them?

OKay also on that subject -- that biography Teeth picked up i -- aksdhasj WHO IS THAT ON THE FRONT COVER??? pic included for ref btw vv

SO WHO IS THAT?? I mean that's clearly Teeth's hand??! It's clearly some sort of scandalous affair i mean but if Teeth is accused of EVERY CRIME then why is this one such a big deal?? Was the person their relative?? Friend?? LOVER?? A celebrity?? (i mean w those boots we can see outlined..,,,,, slay tbH??? in multiple ways??)

5. Teeth wrote SPECIFICALLY "they're lying to you"... THEY?? I assume that means Teeth isn't guilty of ALL of those crimes (hopefully??) but is they the govt?? A group of critics?? evil people?????!?! what the FUCK /pos

6. ALSO worth mentioning i mean this house clearly had a lot of people living in it... you can see the wedding clothes, childhood objects etc etc -- where is everyone else?? were they kicked out/??? did they leave willingly??????? AHSDJASDKSJADHKDHHHHHH I NEED TO KNOW MORE

7. OKAY SPEAKING OF OLIVE -- omg i'm so obsessed w her hhrnrhghr talking to snails is the gender of the day folx

8. so Teeth has Olive's storybook -- how far does it go???! do they know everything that's going to transpire?? stuff that's already happened?? frothing at the mouth /so so pos

9. OLIVE JUMPS THE WALL BAD BITCH but what's the deal with the wall?? WHERE IS SHE GOING WHY IS SHE GOING TOWARDS WATER WATER IS OBVIOUSLY AN ISSUE HERE QUEEN STOP NOOO

10. WHY is grey green dude ("Scholar"??? i think i'm starting to get a hang of this) following her?? OLIVE WHAT DID U DO GET BACK HERE!!! I'm also starting to get the vibe each "reality" has v v v v different pantheon members bcz this dude is so crazy

11. OKAY NOW 42 -- omg. WOW. the vibes holy SHIT my smol bean <3 sinnamon roll <3 <3 <3

12. SEE IT'S GREY GREEN GUY AGAIN BUT HIS VIBES ARE SO DIFF?? okay so like. he's clearly 42's boss but their relationship is kinda wack bc WHY IS "BOATMAN" STEPPING IN?? does this mean 42 is like their warlock now or something?????

13. WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH 53?? he did NOT look happy to see 42 omg omg does 42 have a reputation?? or is there just beef between them in particular????? AAAAaaa i can't evennnnnnfjsdj

14. 42 looked HAPPY to see signs of "traveler".... *eyes emoji* bc what is THEIR relationship???

15. DARLINGWHATISINTHATTRUNK??!?!

16. Okay Darling is aligned w BLUE GUY (exalted again!!) this is so interesting omg i wouldn't have expected that?? like pink person is beauty and high achieving stuff so that's super interesting

17. NOTABLE ABOUT THE DARLING STUFF -- so Darling is like WORKING with the pantheon??? she's also like the only non-pantheon person we see -- HOW DID SHE GET HERE WHAT DID SHE DO TO GET HERE??? like everyone else is either MEGA separated in power or they're all chill but she is like THE ONLY NON-GOD??! tf

18. why do I stan Donny tho I --

19. MARIS??! MILF ALERT????? LITERALLY CW: MILFS AAAAAAAAAAAAA I AM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH

20. MARIS IS ACTUALLY LIKE FIGHTING THE GODS. HOLY SHIT okay so clearly there's gonna be some ~conflict~ here bc WHAT!

21. maris is tatted too...... omg... ANYWAYS

22. okay so who tf is Maris afraid of??? like she squared up w stone guy and seems to have fought krackens so WHO SCARES MARIS??? I'm scared hold me,,,,,,

23. TUCKER HAS MY WHOLE HEART IMMEDAITELy

24. KYYYYYYYYYLE okay so this is SUPER interesting Tucker is literally just CHILL w the pantheon like?? they're not gods or anything they're just dudes??

25. ALSO tucker is like totally fucking w the pantheon!! why are there no consequences here??? it seems like this place like. doesn't have any laws?? okay why is this place so idyllic and perfect for everyone except for tucker??? NO OFFENSE QUEEN I LITERALLY LOVE U BUT PLS SEEK THERAPY

26. WHY IS THERE ONLY ONE GRAVE HEY UH WHAT

27. FOLLOW-UP QUESTION??? WHOSE GRAVE IS IT????? BC UHHHH TUCKER IS BRINGING THE GRAVE FLOWERS AND AHHH TUCKER MY SWEET PRECIOUS BLORBO ALSO WHY THE *FUCK* DOES THE GRAVE SAY "I'M SORRY"??? WHO'S SORRY????

28. all i can say after that is. omg. why did Telos take all of them????? why these people??

29. also shoutout TELOS bc omg <3 my sweet summer child ASLKJDjsdklja why is he so baby

30. WHY ARE THEY ALL AT TELOS' HOUSE WHERE IS TELOS' HOUSE WHAT'S GOING ON W ALL OF THEIR REALITIES

FUKCKJDJKSHC okay this is going to be my whole personality for LITERALLY forever now I'm screaming crying scratching

it also must be said... the shipping potential here is >>> heheheheee but that will have to be it's own post

okayokayokay i just needed to get that out of my system hrfshnasd LOVE YOU ALL KTHXBAI

[sixohsixoheightfourtwo]

watchlist tag game!

tagged by @telomeke !

got a bit long so behind the cut

Currently watching -

A Boss and a Babe (Thailand 2023 / GMMTV) - watching this weekly. ok . LISTEN. I said some stuff in the tags of my first reblog about this series, when i had only seen the trailer, basically that it looked like they absolutely nailed what they were going for in terms of the tone, the dynamic, the chemistry, that it might be a bit silly but it looked GOOD. and . i stand by this!

I know there are people who aren't enjoying it... there always are. There are also people who have beef with Force & Book's previous series who are carrying that prejudice into this show. (imo enchante's biggest crime was that filter they used. everyone looking weirdly smooth. freaky tbh.) (also the last 2 eps were basically unnecessary but let's not get into it.) I feel like I saw a lot of people esp. at the beginning making excuses for watching ABAAB - saying well of course it's not good it's not doing anything new, someone even saying 'it's so bad it's good' - which baffles me lol. SO not how I feel about it! it's good! if you like it just accept it; if it's not for you it's not for you.

any way . Force + Book have really nice chemistry, great at showing the characters' comfort / ease / gentle loving care for each other without a lot of fireworks or histrionics. And tbh not a lot of like - tension even! they're too comfortable for there to be tension! eg. the scene where Cher helps Gun unbutton his shirt and they both go very quiet about it. & the scene where Gun accidentally crashes cher's livestream and he's not even really mad about it. It feels kind of like My School President in the tone it's going for, in that it's a bit silly and light but there is some substance beneath it and it can be cute but actually not overly NICE. And it feels like it's progressing towards a more natural idea of how a relationship develops than certain older bl which can be a bit all or nothing (eg. i JUST watched tonhon chonlatee .. scream) And this is surely gmmtv's first office bl since Sotus S which was five years ago? w/ever I feel like this series is maybe a bigger deal than it looks. Also it's a perfect non stressful weekly watch. (really feel like i almost DIED watching NLMG week to week.) check back in with me in uhh six weeks or whenever it's done.

Our Dating Sim (South Korea 2023 / Viki) - watching bc people on my dash were really into it. I'm two eps in and it's well done but it's not making me CRAZY the way I always want to be made crazy. I do love the k-bl short series format and the k-bl style of storytelling often gets to me quite intensely so I'm hopeful.

Bokura no Shokutaku/ Our Dining Table (Japan 2023) - one ep in. made me crave onigiri soso bad. I haven't read the original manga so I am watching fresh, no expectations. the first ep was totally delightful.

SUCCESSION - watching it weekly with one of my siblings . if u follow me u will know I am deeply into it & even a little weird about it & have been since november 2020. hashtag tomgreg rights hashtag kenstewy rights hashtag tomshiv rights. here's my hot take: in some ways i think the most recent ep was BETTER than the previous one.

Riverdale - watching it weekly ... admittedly usually while doing something else eg cooking. Listen. Riverdale is.. not explainable in any sensible way. If you know you know. Many things about it are stupid and unbearable but its derangement is unparalleled and i appreciate that. Almost no one is a full 3-d character it's like watching puppets.

How To with John Wilson - I absolutely love this series, it's on iPlayer in the UK but I think it's originally HBO. ep 1.6 How To Make Risotto actually haunts me. framed as a series of tutorials, it veers and goes off on tangents, in form it's kind of like visual essays edited together from .. fairly random footage shot on the streets of New York. with a lot of visual gags.

Looking forward to watching soon -

Our Skyy 2 ... truly .... I am going to be so insufferable for the next eight weeks. I'm planning to watch all of it - the only series I haven't watched is Star In My Mind. i WAS most anticipating the ATOTS episodes because i just want to see phupha + tian again. But NLMG and Eclipse and MSP look like they're doing some absolutely wild & funky things so yeah i am excited for all of it.

Only Friends - I think they've just started work on it right? but yeah. looking forward to getting a little unhinged about this.

The Eighth Sense - tbh I think i'm going to wait for it to finish before I watch it. I need some of the discourse to die down a bit so I can go in with the right frame of mind.

Still deciding if I’m gonna watch

Probably most of the upcoming GMMTV series I'll at least try but generally I like to read a few reactions before going in.

tagging @phneltwrites @brofisting @missionlameturtle @hexenmeisterer

[icharchivist]

andddd I’m back! finished the whole thing. it was very good for sure. felt much quicker mostly bc I was not like. dealing with the culmination of probably over a year of hedging all my bets on hisoka’s identity. since I finished the whole thing I’ll be like. loosely chronological but also jump around as I please lol. considering im six paragraphs deep into a fic i definitely did have some feelings abt this.

anyways. very glad I paused where I did bc the moment I heard some random stranger picking on someone and going pretty boy my reaction went like this:

me: hm… pretty boy? that’s not yuki, is it? he would kill them already.. oh it’s azami!!! Oh my god it’s azami!! ah well then these guys are also dead. isn’t he a yakuza child.

and then azami beat them up :) love that kumon immediately thinks he is the coolest… it’s the juza-fan instinct. also love how when sakyo heard abt a middle schooler beating ppl up he’s immediately like ah fuck it’s the yakuza brat isn’t it. I will take this space to put in all of my azami thoughts before I resume. I was so surprised he showed up this early! then again I was a bit confused bc summer and autumn did their road shows together, and I was like… huh, didn’t spring start with these road shows too… how is autumn gonna begin? but nope surprise!! azami gets integrated here instead. very cool and I thought he and kumon becoming friends was done really naturally? like man who wouldn’t like it if someone was all starry eyed about you lol. especially since azami doesn’t seem. used to that level of appreciation. I, like azami, also thought that he and kumon were the same age lol. I did know azami did makeup but it was still so funny for him to shyly visit summer’s opening night backstage and then immediately be like oh u all look horrendous. let me fix this with the insane amt of makeup stuff I carry around. lovely. so very yuki-esque. also. wow, azami, how come you get to have *two* dads you’re beefing with! (sakyo and the boss) I think I am very sakyo-like tho bc when azami makes his phone calls I’m sitting there like ah… that kids not getting mixed up in a bad crowd, is he? he’s literal yakuza. kiri why are you like this. great voice acting on those calls also, it totally conveys the vibe of like angsty teen who chills out and is very casual around friends. I’m super interested as to who that person on the other end is, seeing as azami says he might reach that guys goal first after talking abt joining mankai… another actor / aspiring actor? haruto? misumis younger bro? who knows. only time will tell ig. was a bit sad abt the fact that azami and kumon didn’t have a cg—I think it would’ve been nice to have one when kumon collapsed into him, or a cg of juza and kumon where he’s picking him up… but there seems to only be 3 cgs per story for act 2. what a shame. well ig that’s what fanart is for lol—gotta brush up (pun intended) on my drawing skills! anyways I’m not super happy with azami’s dad lol. let him do makeup you clod. I always joke that I like characters who others are kind of homophobic to but it’s so true. it’s just actually a sign that they’ve got some Gender™ going on which I like. i hope he gets to play soccer with tasuku i think they'd have a great time actually.

moving back towards chronological events… kumon’s fancy gold keychain! love how muku immediately launches into an explanation abt it lol. “in exchange for making its wielded the strongest of all humans, it sucks their life force. it’s a cursed sword that can kill its owner if used too much!” I immediately read into this the moment muku explained it lol. like muku does not say it out loud and kumon is embarrassed about being a nerd but the moment this showed up i was like "oh. this is absolutely how kumon sees himself. all that pitching skill but theres a curse that prevents him from using it." and like. its never stated out loud during this episode but its absolutely true to me. the scene rly made me think like ah. kumons both naturally funny and adorable? like the noises he makes when hes freaked out there r great. i think hes a guy that is naturally a Bit Much and that translated really well to natsugumi stages. i wanna tackle kumon's condition here since it was brought up... again i knew that he was dealing with some kind of recurring health problems before, but not the specifics! and so learning that he was essentially getting fevers caused by stress was very. too real tbh like i dont want to think abt getting panic attacks during my free time. but. no i thought it was really well handled. like how at first yamaguchi is like. hey. its not like u meant to get sick, right? but then as time goes on you can see how people begin to be like. oh he's doing this on purpose to fuck us over. or theyre like. is ur illness even real. maybe you're just faking because you're an asshole. this is weakling behavior. and you can see how deeply that affects kumon in the way that he talks to and judges himself. in the way that he's got this drive that feels downright desperate--like EVERYTHING is do or die for him, and that is, of course, only going to stress him out more. i really liked that even at the end, past the play's end, he was still running a fever--it was clear that the play had rly been taxing on him and he wasnt like, just magically cured! i thought azami's whole magic brush thing was so cute--like, it was so obvious how better it made kumon feel. to me it felt like the equivalent of like, taking the time to put on really nice clothing and cook something special after a major depressive episode--like, you give yourself a nice treat and it helps you believe in getting better. in the same way, i think azami's makeup worked sort of like a charm on him--it gave him the ability to look like death hadn't warmed over and that like. helped him relax because now the guy in front of the mirror looks like he has the exact amount of energy that he wants to have. but yeah. i thought it was handled really well and i loved how natsugumi were supportive of him. the way kumon wakes up and finds out his fever went down and then when hes going to announce it to misumi he finds everyone sleeping by him... so sweet. again natsugumi was just sooo dearly supportive of kumon and refused to let him back out, it was great. when they all hug him and comfort him on stage... that cg is sooo cute. oh the moment juza approached tsuzuru i immediately knew he was gonna give him kumons backstory lol. like tsuzuru knows people well but not That well. i thought it was nice how the way inoue is was exactly like how real life yamaguchi felt--that he wanted to support him as a battery. tsuzuru precog moment strikes again. also every time he's on that balcony writing i think abt mizuno.

well this is probably a good segue to talk abt the play so i shall do just that. this one is literally a direct parallel to real life events so theres not something like... super interesting i can give as commentary there, lol? but when i first watched the play i was like. tsuzuru... where's the "comedy" in sports comedy? watching the play in the actual chapters tho i definitely saw it--it relied a lot on the quirks of the individual players! and that scene at the end is quite fun ofc. was confused as to why it was like. love. but even the og play has hatsukoi in it. ig its abt them liking their manager? idk it felt a little confused lol. but it was a very nice play in some ways... i am like, a pretty huge sports manga fan ahah, so i definitely saw stuff that was similar. i think i've... read 4 different sports manga abt baseball? daiya no ace, oofuri, cross game, and the one no one will recognize, hybrid berry. kumon would lose it if he ever read oofuri, i think... the main pitcher is an anxious mess who selfishly refuses to give up the mound and he and the catcher have a really interesting relationship. the girl manager that is sad they cant play baseball is absolutely a thing in sports manga. yuki was so great as washiyama. like her pretending to be a guy and subbing in for the catcher worked great since yuki can like. convincingly play both a guy and a girl. also the way washiyama essentially blackmailed people into joining. iconic. the associated song was also cute! i thought it was interesting that tsuzuru wrote yuki's role in specific along with tenma and kumon--i guess it makes sense since that role requires someone to play a female role, but the quirks of the other baseball players--uehara as a shut in with surprising athleticism, ohno as a player scared of the ball, and enomoto as a guy always on his phone--mesh really well with the people who play them, dont they? like, i dont think kazunari or muku could pull off the same sense of athelticism. it was nice, anyways. plus if u reach u can parallel washiyama subbing in for inoue and it hurting her hands with yuki + natsugumi trying to leader substitute in tenma's absence.

worst transition ever? perhaps. but now i get to talk about that bit BECAUSE OH MY GOD, THAT BIT. like icha i'm dearly glad i was not given spoilers but on the other hand i feel like i needed a fucking warning. the PHONE CALL. the PHONE CALL!!!! im going to take a step back and comment on the whole situation actually since i didnt even address tenma's first audition. that whole bit was so good. the way tenma's like heh. i'll handle everything. and like as you pointed out, at that point kumon was gonna join akigumi if he passed the audition! but tenma was like. no hes Mine. i definitely figured the audition was gonna go bad--like, if tenma himself was like "i feel like im not there yet" about his own acting? but the way it was executed was so lovely--i wanted to be like "ah, tenma's come really far, hasn't he?" but i think tenma has always been serious about this part of acting--didn't he join summer troupe in order to challenge himself because he felt like he was deficient? so i actually had to reexamine like. why did i assume tenma would be hugely emotional about missing the role. probably because izumi worried about it? also bc i kept recognizing when they were saying "chance" and since kumon just had a stressful audition chance i was worried tenma was gonna feel a similar pressure and cave. but nah. as strange as it might seem, this was kind of perfectly in character for him, i think... he didn't get the role, and he saw someone absolutely outperform him during auditions, and respected that. if there's one thing tenma's learned from summer troupe it's to acknowledge other people and recognize their strengths. so this was a nice extension of that. so all he does is chill in the theater at midnight and relfect a little on his own performance. it was mature of him. i felt like i could see him blooming. as much as i like to make fun of tenma he's been an actor for quite some time--i bet mankai is one of the places he really gets to act like a kid, yknow? i thought it was nice how suprised everyone in natsugumi was--even if they make fun of him, he sure is their leader who has some pretty great acting skills, huh... anyways. to then see him get an offer, turn it down to focus on the play (bc he loves natsugumi!) and then see yuki get fully outraged at him for doing so! that got me! the "when push comes to shove, you really ARE just a hack, huh?!" escalating into him yelling "we all want to support you, tenma!" like. how many times had yuki said tenma's name ever. also like. the way he indirectly says that he doesn't even mean it when he calls tenma a hack. anyways im glad they resolved it. not used to seeing yuki be so obviously distraught. the gifts were so good too. misumi giving tenma a triangle so he doesn’t. so he. “so you don’t get lonely like you usually do!” im going to wail. and then tenma going “I don’t get lonely” okay liar. but then when tenmas like oh jeez yuki another shopping list? and then receives a baseball keychain… if i was him i wouldve cried immediately. like wow. they rly adore each other and will never admit it ever.

and then seeing tenma in france! Almost getting lost! And carrying around the keychain… and saying “…take care of the troupe while I’m gone, yuki.” oh my god. like i genuinely lost it at this moment. tenma and yuki r roommates and they. They care abt each other. like there’s no explicit communication that tenma is putting his trust in yuki specifically but like. Of course its him. Hes the one that yelled at tenma to go in the first place. Id hedge my bets that natsugumi was planning on talking to tenma anyways (bc they rush in so quick when yuki and tenma start fighting) which if we take that to be true, yuki literally started picking a fight with tenma bc there was literally nothing else he could see himself doing at that moment. And the way that as they’re rotating leader by leader yuki is the one that’s like. Kind of nagging at them—pointing out that kazunari could be more decisive, and telling muku that he should probably give suggestions on fixing things rather than like just saying. “We have problems!” like. It is so deeply obvious to me how aware yuki is of tenma’s presence and how aware he is of him. Not being here. But then when tenma calls him! And yuki’s like. Teasing him being like is this a prank call? But he’s still in the practice room at 10pm, just chilling by himself because he’s thinking about what he can do. to quote from my notes during this scene: “it is genuinely so cute they call—AHHHHH A CG!!!!! A CG!!!!!!!” yeah i lost my fucking mind are u kidding me. of course i did. but yeah tenma checks in on the troupe through yuki and once yuki confirms that tenma’s doing okay, he’s like. we’re fine. focus on your work. and then he says international calls are expensive and hangs right the fuck up. like. if yuki wasn’t feeling guilty abt not having seen any improvements on the play u know he and tenma would chat for longer and yuki would antagonize him into paying his phone bill or something. but yeah the just like. the dynamic here is so good. and once he runs into kumon and figures out what he’s gonna do its so good! I felt like. idk. yuki rly pulled through for this one and it was nice to see tenma come back, pleased as punch, and tell natsugumi they did well. It was rly a breath of relief like ah. the leader approves! and it felt like such a success, that yuki and natsugumi were able to handle it. Idk why the phone call got me so bad. I mean i do know its like. two of my favorite characters but. it was just a kind of very understated moment and like this whole sequence is… what? four chapters? it’s not a long part in the whole episode but it just absolutely got me. its just such like a quiet, kinda subtle moment with a lot of depth. Seeing them call each other from different parts of the world. the way they’re thinking about each other and caring for each other. the way you can see them instinctually trust each other after being at each other's throats at first and bickering all the time even now. Yeah.

speaking of shorter parts i loved kazunari’s little side thing! with him realizing that he sorta wants to do a bunch of stuff. i thought the ultra multi creator / UMVC thing was so funny. but it was real lovely to hear just a very normal parent that obviously adored kazunari exactly as he was. this was also how i first learned kazunari was a traditional japanese painting major. I genuinely had no idea. i do think its funny that his lil sis in a huge tenma fan. i think ive mentioned this before but there is a like noticeable increase in quality of the a3 posters as time goes on which i think is really cool. but wow tenma telling kazunari he has like only shallow friendships is truly so. I love that it stuck with kazunari this long but also tenma would be distraught that he remembered.

okay now time for all of the miscellaneous stuff i forgot to talk abt!

azamis voice is refreshingly lower than I thought it might be? but it fits him. I know he and sakyo r gonna be so fun… sakyo wondering what happened bc azami used to adoringly follow him around was so absolutely real. like oh ur his dad already i see. I also think kumon’s relationship with muku and juza r so interesting… muku knows some stuff, but not everying about kumon. and though kumon so obviously adores his big brother and juza has helped him before, the actual talking they do seems like not much. which felt kinda realistic.azamis voice is refreshingly lower than I thought it might be? but it fits him and i like it. i’m so excited abt his dynamic with sakyo seeing as he used to be rly attached… sakyo and his bos should square off for custody i think it’d be funny. i think its rly funny that yuki refused to play baseball bc he was acting as the manager. the manager plays baseball in one of the scenes its like the whole point. loved the kumon pitching cg. oh tenma was so good during that street act they did tho like. the way his va played that… u can hear him loudly announcing the show and stuff and then his voice immediately drops to this soft whisper to ask if kumons ok. so good. again i rly liked azami and kumon’s relationship… the fact that azami was just gonna fight yamaguchi unprompted was so good? but the way kumon is specifically like. dont injure his arms he needs them for baseball rly shows like. just how much kumon treasures the sport i think. very interested in who would azami not want to see at his worst… could be a throwaway convo lol. but i liked that azami walked him home and stuff. muku pestering yamaguchi into taking his ticket was so. wow. he’s rly gotten brave, hasn’t he? i thought juza and muku were so interesting in how they supported kumon during this bc like. they were both obviously supportive but like didnt solve everything? Which was cool bc they were still good siblings to kumon but kumon’s issues still felt like. understandable and stuff. like juza being harsh in the beginning re: kumon joining made total sense even tho like. clearly it ended up being good for him. gosh when juza and muku tell tenma and izumi everything it is so good to see tenma be like. well. its alright u kept stuff from me. kumon is fully part of natsugumi so we’ll take care of him. i just like seeing him be capable and he was so capable lol. also banri offering to be an understudy instead of juza! very sweet. love that he can only offer by antaognizing juza abt his acting skills. also love banri saying yuki will thrash juza if he acts bad specifically… bc banri and yuki r. friends… i also like that this in specific seems to give juza pause. my “juza is frightened by this middle schooler” hc seems legit. oh and i laughed when juza was like. well we gotta be baseball accurate so i’ll bring the clippers. what is up with hyodos and banris hair for real. hm. i also like how u can see the bookcase in kumon and misumis room has noticeably changed—feels like not just misumi lives there, now.

oh and the cute girls skit. best thing ever. every time they did it, i laughed. so i absolutely get why it cheered kumon up. again summer troupe is clearly so good at this. they should do a play. This had more romcom energy then the baseball play they actually performed. like kumon blushing. into mukumi announcing u look like a dog I used to have!! unmatched. and ofc theres juko. cmon… take one step closer for juza in a dress…

I also loved everyone telling kumon abt the troubles they had. like tenma had to be like. I look very capable now but i actually tanked our first play lmao. also i had trauma abt stage performance. also idk if it was intentional but i love how the dialogue when theyre discussing sardine search is like.

kumon: the cat costumes?

tenma: anyways, the third play—

i think the last thing to discuss is the adlibs probably? the moment he was like concerned abt it i out loud went “fuck the fans” so that shows my position lol. but that for sure is summer troupe’s charm. I liked that in the end kumon’s adlib was just like? it was good. nicely in character. good response to. hang on washimiyas bf is MARRIED? but its not like he totally introduced a wild new direction or anything—the guy who started this was clearly tenma’s adlib as inoue. so i rly liked that it was like. competent but not amazing bc like… i think that would kind of reinforce kumon’s idea that he needs to “measure up” and be perfect. but here he’s just like. good at being part of natsugumi. and that’s all they need! i also know kumon originally wanted to join akigumi and i assume that’s bc he loves juza but i also wonder if some of it is bc akigumi is so clearly and obviously Strong. well. anyways for kumon i think being part of a troupe that makes him laugh is the best, in the end. i did think it was funny when the game went “acting isn’t like baseball. there are no winners and losers,” says a member of the troupe that had a literal competition against another troupe where winning was the most important thing ever.

and that’s all, i think! very good story im sure theres things i missed but. very good.

omg that was quick indeed. bUT HELP as to why you think it went faster. And omg. can't wait to see the fic as well!!

let's GOOO

and HELP. the deadly pretty boy middle schooler squad. gotta love how quickly Kumon found him cool indeed. I also love how quickly and organically they started to get along! Azami really does have a lot of Yuki in his behavior doesn't he. i still love how the make up things ended up being mentioned like "oh i'm NOT letting you leave this backstage without some help. you need it." type. eheh loving the way you look at Azami's set up so far! And you're so right this CG could have been so nice… nerfed by the amount of official CG per chapter :/ looking forward the fanarts coming out of it ;D Azami truly does have some Gender going on and yeah. The dad sure is not being good there. AND! hell yeah for the soccer squad this is what they deserve. Give Tasuku some peace also to know that while his troupe is bad at sports he can make his own team somehow still.

NICE CATCH ON THE KEYCHAIN!!! it really does fit Kumon way too much :sob: Kumon is indeed so likeable like, the actor really does such a nice job at conveying just how open and exhuberant he is, but also just how soft he can be. really funny and adorable like you say, perfect for Summer.

as for Kumon's condition, welcome to the specifics! I also really connected with Kumon on this because oof, chronic illness like that is no joke and especially when it's stuff triggered by stress it's just… it feels never ending bc then you stress about being stressed and it gets worse in worse. And even though it's obviously not his fault, the way other people started to perceive his sickness influenced how he saw himself and it really became even more worse and he became so scared to fail people which just meant more stress, so, more guilt… man his story was so effective it made me feel really emo.

Azami helping him out with the brush was so cute :sob: a little placebo in a sense. I do love how Kumon still was stressed but he managed to push through still. a bit like Tenma was still hella stressed in his first plays but managed to push through enough to now be comfortable about it. Natsugumi meanwhile taking care of him and being so supportive is so sweet :sob: Summer are all genuinely so good, and when you take into account all the problems they had to deal with one another… Tenma's stagefright, Yuki's indecissiveness for the future, Kazunari's anxiety about not being what others people would want out of him, Muku's own insecurities and his own history with "failing" his sportsmates because of health, with also Misumi's big brother's instinct kicking in… everyone had made some little work on their side on their own anxieties that i think they could see a bit of their journey in Kumon and went yeah, we'll take care of him, and it was such a good support for them. and DLKFJDLKF Tsuzuru's powers, all knowing, and when he doesn't know, people will come to him to update his character files. but also mood for the balcony.

DLKFDLKF yeah i feel like, Summer's plots could be seen as "not comedy", but in the end it's all about the banter and the way Summer will improvise stuff with their high energy, they probably have more room to improvise and all. BUT YEAH the love thing always was surprising to me, i guess yeah they're in love with their manager but it doesn't feel like it should be the focus?? or perhaps it's about the love of the game?? Or Tsuzuru should come out already and tell us the romance between Tenma and Kumon's characters was explicitly that this time come O- and omg, really ready for the sports story mood i see. I hope Kumon got to read this manga. perhaps he even recommanded it to Tsuzuru? Yuki's character was so fun and it felt so Yuki, it was so great. But yess the roles were pretty nice.

it's a perfect transition no worries AND HELL YEAH. No warning we get murdered by phonecalls like people who cry over a3. I'm so glad you weren't spoiled considering it was Made Just For You, it was so nice to see it shook you enough to post about it also :'D Everything you say about Tenma's audition is so spots on and so good :sob: he's so good… It's in moment like that that yeah you remember just that he is a professional who can accept things going in one way or another pretty maturely, and no doubt summer did make him even better at that. like yeah he learnt to be more silly and more of a kid with Summer, but it also helps him adding new outlook on his perspective. it's pretty nice. AND GOD YEAH. THAT. YEAH. THE WHOLE SCENE WITH YUKI WAS SO NICE. Tenma loves Natsugumi and Natsugumi loves him back so much the gifts scene was also so damn sweet like. god i love those kids so much.

AND YEAH… YEAH. MAN. Tenma and Yuki did come a very long way but they trust each other so deeply at this point it's just so heartwarming to see. No CG of Kumon and Azami bUT a CG of Tenma and Yuki calling each other! We still come out of here winning!! and yeah i totally understand what you mean about the whole scene and the whole dynamic of this specific arc. I think that approaching their dynamic with physical distance showed just how close they have grown emotionally speaking and it was just. so damn nice to see. It was such a nice arc.

Kazunari's little side thing! yeah it's really nice to see Kazunari just.. want more? I think it also shows he's growing more confident in himself that he just wants to try everything now. His little sis being fan of Tenma is really soft, no wonder Kazunari kept taking pictures of Tenma when they met. And yeah!!! honestly it's like, of course quality gets better as the app grows and everything on a doylist perspective because yeah, the devs get better, they get better fundings, you even see it at times from how prettier the art composition of some of the cards become. But in universe, since the posters are Kazunari's doing, it really also bring home that it's Kazunari!! who's growing as well. It's so nice. but god yeah. i love how things really do have an impact in a3? like conversations from years ago still matter so deeply for the characters. It's so nice.

ooh nice that you like Azami's voice :3c promising set up with his relationship with Sakyo and yeah. Sakyo was already a dad, bless him. The Hyodo/Sakisaka dynamic is indeed pretty interesting, like… yeah they're cousins but that doesn't mean they were that close until they started acting, but now they're all together in this. and yeah makes sense that Juza still was a bit distant in the sense of, he's socially awkward and keeping to himself a lot even regarding his little brother. Yuki refusing to play the baseball game while he gets to play later in the play is indeed pretty funny. Kumon's CG is pretty nice toooo, it shows how serious he is for baseball and still how much of his conflict comes from how serious he is about what he loves. (kinda contrast also how Chikage's solo CG was him with his coin, something that shows the way he deceives people but ultimately that he can't keep fooling Sakuya with and ends up being the cataclyst in staying with Spring bc of the coin toss. Like the solo CG tell us a lot about them and their arc in general). Tenmaaaaa<333 Eguchi Takuya always delivers in term of voice acting, and i love how he looks out for Kumon :sob: AND SO true about the Azami and Kumon's relationship and the way Azami was ready to square up for Kumon. It was so nice to see, they have a nice dynamic. Muku has indeed got very brave!! and even braver when he does thing for other people in general (a continuation both of him standing up for Yuki in the first chapter, and how he went to confront the Ikaruga family for Misumi as well) but yesss their dunamic together was so so nice, they knew some stuff but of course they couldn't solve everything… i think it's like, esp with stress, when family tells you you do well it's just yeah sure, that's what family says. i feel like, with setting up Kumon being so attached to Juza, it was important that his arc ends up being about him looking for something /for himself/ instead, and finding good things outside of him. But yeah Juza was just worried :sob: he just comes off as much roughter in general. aND YEAH…. Tenma immediately enforcing that Kumon is his responsability is soft. AND YEAH THE BANRI SCENE. WAS REALLY CUTE. Hell if Banri actually shows he cares, he needs to be mean to Juza to make it work. think about his reputation smh. BANRI AND YUKI FRIENDSHIP MY BELOVED. And yeah Juza still values Yuki's opinion enough to be frightened. More than by Banri at least lmao. AND DLKFJDKLFJD rip Banri's hair. and yeah sobbs it's so nice.

omg yeah the cute girl skit was really so sweet and funny. It's a recurring thing too like, remember when Muku was stressed out during their first improv with Yuki and Yuki went on with the cute girl thing? Tenma roasted them at that moment bc "all they did is change their pitch a bit", and now they perfected it so well that it's Purely Cheer Up Material… sobs. JUZA IN A DRESS WHEN PLEASE. WHO DO WE HAVE TO BEG.

DLKJFDLKF YEAH it's so nice that they really like, work to make Kumon part of the team? like he gets to know the stuff he missed as well, he's up to date with them all. BUT YEAH the transition for Sardine search is really funny.

BUT YEAAH AAH the adlibs stuff were so nice. I still find that ending so funny, i love how everyone managed to roll with it… and very good observation for why Kumon wanted to join Akigumi. He probably felt like it could help him measure up to the expectations he had put on himself, managing to be cooler and surpassing himself physically considering those were the things he felt he lacked. But in the end he needed just to find his own path and coming to term with what he actually needed. AND LDKJFKDLJFKLFD Kumon: it has no winner or loser! Tsumugi still half reeling from what happened during his first play: :). yeah :) totally :) completely :).

but sobss i'm so glad you liked it!! Summer knew to come after your feelies both reminding you of the growth of your favorite characters and introducing a new cutie to the team. It's honestly so nice, and it was SO nice to read through your thoughts! as always, thank you so so much for sharing!!!

as a reminder, next is the event A Springtime Snooze ! Then you'll be able to read the Autumn Chapter!

Take care! :3c

[hansolmates]

here comes the bride, all dressed in pride

summary; You and your cousin Doyeon have had beef with each other since the sandbox. When she plucks the last straw, you decide to end your long-simmering fight by claiming that you and her ex—Jeon Jungkook, are now boyfriend and girlfriend pairing; jungkook x reader (f) genre/warnings; fake dating!au, fluff, crack, mentions of cheating, lang, alcohol, mc eats meat, tw sexual harassment, toxic family, dick talk, making out, if u have that one family member that pulls bs on you constantly this is it, this fic is for all the people who have a huge ass family who wont leave them alone w.c; 17.3k  a/n: my second fic for gcn’s 23 birthday project! the fact that wedding szn zoomed by us like that... and so bc im sad that so many weddings had to be postponed this fic was born! a huge thank u to vivi @eerieedits​ / @chillingtae​​ for creating this BEAUTIFUL fic banner and separator pls check vivi out to make your fics all purty

prompts used: “You’ve always been beautiful to me, don’t you know that?” and “I never knew love could be like this, feel like this.”

if you enjoyed this pls consider giving a like and a share💕💕

Doyeon likes to call Jungkook, “the one who got away.” 

You like to call Doyeon, “the one who drove him away.” 

In secret, of course. In fact, the only person who knows how much you loathe Doyeon and her behavior is your father. And all your co-workers. And your boss. And your boss’ ex-husband. 

And Jeon Jungkook, but of course you haven’t seen the man in two years and back then he was far too polite to address his concerns of your hatred of his then-girlfriend. 

Okay, so everyone and their mother knows how much you don’t like your cousin. Kim Doyeon and you have had beef since the sandbox, and for whatever reason is always out to one-up you. A strange competitive nature in everything, academics, family, and even boys. The sick, twisted part of you has come to enjoy it. While you’re not a fighter as devout as Doyeon is, you have your own callous tendencies farmed from the seeds Doyeon has planted in your brain. She gives you a comment? You can’t help but throw one back. Since you’re a painfully mature soul you don’t have any mortal enemies as far as you know, Doyeon is the perfect amount of hot water to keep you on your toes. 

“I’m really sorry that you couldn’t be a bridesmaid,” Doyeon cooes next to you, swirling her champagne glass with a too-jutted pout, “but if I did there’d be an odd number of pairings and you’re a little too old to be walking as a bridesmaid, am I right?” 

Your nails. Are digging. Through your dress. Alas, you’re in public and you have class. Doyeon smiles at you with all teeth, reminding you of the Beldam from Coraline. Aside from that she looks absolutely stunning in that Lirika Matoshi strawberry dress that has her Instagram aching with likes and love from her baseless followers. 

“I don’t know,” you reply lightly, leaning back in your seat, “I mean, if Yoojung and Rena can be bridesmaids and they’re three years older than me, wouldn’t I make the cut? It’s okay to be honest and say you just didn’t want me in the bridal party.” 

Doyeon laughs, slaps your thigh like you told her the most hilarious joke in the world. Anyone passing by would think you’re best friends. You laugh too, incredulous at the amount of power she thinks she holds. 

“Nice party,” you tack on, surveying the room. It’s filled with pastels and beiges, bright and airy.  It’s Parisian themed, and while you’re not a fan of theming cultures, you can’t deny that you’re loving the infinite supply of macarons. 

“Oh, yes. This is just a taste of the real wedding,” she laces her fingers together, as if she thinks she’s living an Elizibethean love story, “speaking of, you put on your RSVP that you’re bringing a plus one. Am I allowed to know who’s the unlucky date?” 

“As if you care.” 

“I care if you’re bringing Jimin. That tiny thing nearly gave Aunt Lillian a heart attack when he gave a striptease at Yoongi’s graduation party.” 

You smirk softly at the bold memory. That was the plan. 

Doyeon sighs dramatically, crossing her legs and popping out a cherry red heel. She plays with the back on the balls of her feet, letting the little pearly rhinestones glisten in the candlelight, “I should really commend you, cousin,” she drawls, “I mean, how kind of you to be so charitable and give your dopey friends a chance to have fun. After all, I’m sure it is difficult for someone like you to find a date.” 

It’s no surprise as to how you end up with a date at any family formal gathering. You say you bring a plus one, and then between Jimin, Taehyung and Hoseok. The three of them draw straws as to who gets to gorge on free alcohol and food for that night. 

“Difficult?” you arch a brow, “I get plenty of dates.” 

Doyeon giggles. She must be feeling extra vindictive today, high on her impending marriage and the taste of bubbly champagne. “By taking turns with those three? You gotta be kidding me,” she snorts, tipping back her crystal, “please y/n. Don’t get so defensive because I’m getting married first. Your time will come. That is, if you stop dicking around with your friends.” 

Normally you’d smother any attempt at Doyeon to call out your friends, but now she’s just done that and insulted your ability to get some, and you are livid. 

“Actually,” you quip sharply, “I’ve been dating someone. It’s been a couple months, actually.” 

“Oh?” Doyeon’s genuinely interested, face falling slightly, “you’ve never mentioned anyone, I don’t see anyone on your social media.” 

“Yeah well,” you feign sympathy, pressing your lips together and tilting your head accordingly, “I’ve had to keep it private for a couple of reasons.” 

“What, is he ugly or something?” she chuckles, “but really, who’s the person who has the misfortune of being in a committed relationship with you?” 

Maybe it’s because Doyeon’s right, the both of you are too old. The two of you have been running around each other for years, with no end in sight. Maybe, the words that linger on the tip of your tongue will be the final nail in the coffin. 

“Jeon Jungkook,” you state proudly, clear as day. “Jungkook and I have been dating for three months.” 

And you pick up the vanilla macaron that sits innocently on your plate, ravishing it up like it contained all the tension in your table. Between you and Doyeon’s bubble, you could hear a pin drop. 

“Jungkook?” her smile is concrete-solid, “my Jungkook?” 

“My Jungkook,” you correct, giving her a puppy-eyed look, “I’m really sorry I never told you. I mean, is there ever a right time to tell your cousin they’re dating their ex-boyfriend?” you laugh, either to lighten the mood or because you love the way Doyeon pinches her face, you don’t know.

“How did you two even meet?” 

“We reconnected through Seokjin. You know how the two of them play Starcraft together, I just ended up joining the call and he was so funny and nice. We just sorta… felt it.” Doyeon nods like a slow bobblehead, still comprehending in her pea-sized brain, “I just hope it isn’t too awkward. I know it’s been awhile but, if you really don’t want Jungkook to come I can always take Hoseok or something.” 

“No, it’s fine,” Doyeon says a little too quickly, masking on her picture-perfect smile. “I’m with Namjoon now, and I’m totally happy. Water under the bridge, it’ll be totally fine.” 

“Really?” your eyes practically sparkle, thankful for the amount of glitter and highlighter you’ve dumped on your face today, “I really appreciate it, Yeonie.” 

And she quickly downs her champagne glass, and gets up from her seat. It’s haunting, the way she gets up, pink tulle billowing around her ankles. “I have to attend to the other guests,” she says. 

“Of course,” you raise your glass.

“But, be careful,” she gives you a little smile, one filled with a last-ditch attempt at a jab, “Jungkook, he’s a little hard to deal with.” 

“Oh don’t worry. I know how to deal with Jungkook’s hardness,” you wink, and Doyeon’s face falls like a ton of bricks. 

“That’s not what I meant.” 

“I know,” you shrug loftily, “that’s what I meant, though.” 

And you don’t bother watching Doyeon stomp off the metaphorical stage, double fisting two new glasses of champagne from an awaiting butler as she finds some other poor guest to pick on. Now, the matter of securing your date. Conveniently so, the most important man in the room is walking your way, and you manage to snag his tie just as he passes your table. 

“Ow—ow! I’m choking!” Seokjin grabs, nearly throwing his tall body onto your lap, hands grappling to release the tension on his neck. “Leave me alone, woman! I just wanted to get some chicken tenders!” 

“Jin,” you say sweetly, opening his blazer to retrieve his phone, “I need Jeon’s number, now.” 

“Jungkook?” your favorite cousin pales, eyes widening as you take out your phone of your own, copying down the digits, “what did you do?” 

“Don’t ask questions.” 

Seokjin says your name again, firmer. “You’re playing with fire.” 

“It’ll be fine, it’s the last time,” you quell, already knowing how much Seokjin hates being in the middle of your fights. Once you’ve secured the phone number, you place Seokjin’s phone back into his pocket, patting his breast. “Thank you. You know you’re my favorite cousin, you know that?” 

He grumbles a “damn right I am” before stomping away, resuming his race for his chicken tenders. 

You: hey jeon it’s y/n. I see you’re doing great, i saw on instagram that you released your first app w/yoongi! Totally amazing, been playing for weeks, really upset that i can’t get past the flaming frog boss :((

You: Feel free to ignore this, i won’t blame you if you do. Im at doyeon’s rehearsal dinner, and she basically snubbed my friends and said i couldn’t get some prime dick even though im?? Me??? Anyway, im tired of her shit so im gonna throw it back at her, one last time before she ties the knot. I told her you and i have been dating, and im bringing you as my date to her wedding. Really sorry, the demons took over my brain and made the worst and best comeback of my life. So… if you’re up for being the hottest couple on the floor in three weeks and showing how madly in love we are, please text me back? Or not. You might think this family is crazy and i accept partial responsibility. 

You: I’ll buy u every meal for every practice date we have if u agree.💕💕💕

Jeon Jung-boo-thang: thanks, i appreciate that. To defeat the frog boss, go back to the coconut cave and find the garnet garter. It absorbs his fire and u can easily defeat froggo w any level 15 weapon

Jeon Jung-boo-thang: and as for the real reason u texted me. Im in. let’s get pork belly tomorrow. 

Two years ago, you were surprised that Doyeon could manage to snag a man as fine as Jeon Jungkook. Also unsurprised, because Doyeon is gorgeous and could snag any man she wanted, and has snagged every man she wanted. 

Jungkook was different though. He had an air of innocence to him. He loved her, a little too much to be safe. Your heart would betray you every time you would find him at a family gathering, making her plate and counting the calories she so meticulously measured. How can someone so sweet be with someone like Doyeon? 

Your heart ached for Jungkook when they broke up a year later. From what you heard, Doyeon was Jungkook’s first serious girlfriend. And then you wanted to rip your heart out a week later when you caught Doyeon smooching with her favorite graduate professor Kim Namjoon, wanting to erase any possibility you’d have at love. At that time, you never wanted to feel the pain you imagined Jungkook was going through. 

“Y/n! Over here!” you’re a little taken aback at how much has not changed in Jungkook. His eyes still sparkle like fresh dew, his smile is still pearly white and infectious. He’s even early, snagging a table at his favorite barbeque place and waiting for you as if he is the one organizing your first date. 

At the same time, there’s so much that’s changed about him. He’s confident, even going so far as to walk over to you and slip your jacket and purse in his grasp like a gentleman. He leads you by putting a hand lightly at the small of your back, making you feel impossibly small in comparison to his Dorito-shaped body, broad shoulders and a deliciously trim waist. 

“How was the walk over?” 

“Not too bad,” the conversation is casual, easy. You wipe the sweat off your forehead with a napkin. “Could use a little exercise now and again. I did eat a whole tray of macarons at that rehearsal dinner.” 

Jungkook laughs from his belly, causing you to smile. “Nonsense. You look great, by the way,” you don’t mind it, actually, you enjoy it when his eyes rake over your body. After all, he’s now your boyfriend and he needs to get familiar with all the important bits. He leans his arms forward, bracing him against the wooden table so his face is closer to yours. 

“You’re not doing too bad yourself,” your eyes gloss over the veins and intricate tattoos that paint his muscled upper half. Your smile morphs into a smirk, letting him know you’re enjoying the view just as well as he is. 

And as soon as the tension sparks, it ends just as fast when your waiter comes up to light your grill. 

“So,” Jungkook wastes no time in decorating your stove, making sure to add all the appropriate aromatics and infusions to season your lunch, “do you know why Doyeon and I broke up?” 

“Cheated on you with Namjoon, I assume,” you keep your eyes trained on the darkening meat. 

Jungkook slips a piece of meat in his mouth. Any expression of pain (whether it be from Doyeon or the barely cooked meat) doesn’t reveal itself as he stops to take a sip of water. “Who else knows?” 

“Just me and Seokjin. The family loved you too much and Doyeon made up some sob story about how you two were going different life paths.” 

He chuckles to himself, taking great care in flipping the meat. “I really was a fool in love, wasn’t I?” 

“It… was mildly cute.” 

“Tell me the truth, you have no reason not to.” 

“Okay, you made me want to vomit rainbows and glitter every time I saw you.”

The two of you laugh, faces crinkling shamelessly as the two of you busy yourselves with setting up the table. Most of the food is done and the aroma of fresh onions wafts around your grill. As you place chopsticks on his side of the table, you think about all the times Jungkook made it abundantly clear how much he loved Doyeon: the love letters tucked into her purse, 100 day anniversaries, even just a simple Americano for her in the morning. 

“Is that why you never hung out with us?” 

“No,” you reply lightly, “Doyeon made it clear that I shouldn’t talk to you.” 

Jungkook frowns, “You really don’t like each other, do you.” 

You shrug, “Just always been like that,” you quirk a smile when Jungkook places the freshly cooked meat on top of your rice before serving himself. 

“So what’s the plan?” 

“We go to the wedding, make out a little, get Doyeon boiling. Even if she’s not interested in you, she’d still be upset knowing we are together.” 

“And why is that?” 

“Because it’s me,” you grin into your glass, staring at a water-stained Jungkook through the blue tinted glass. “And all you have to do, is enjoy your night and look pretty.” 

His eyes crinkle, chopsticks pressing between his lips. “You think I look pretty?” 

With a roll of eyes you don’t respond, preferring to dig your chopsticks in your rice. No need to inflate Jungkook’s ego too soon. 

Pinning the main theme of your hangout to the side, the both of you dig into your meal. You throw conversation back and forth like pebbles, grains of sand that build and build until you’re caught up with each other’s lives. It feels so strange to admit it’s been two years since you’ve spoken to the man, and all of a sudden the once luscious meat feels dry in your mouth. 

“Jeon,” you put your chopsticks down, “are you sure you want to do this with me? I mean, I know it’s all my fault and I dragged you into it. Don’t feel obligated to agree to this.” 

“I’m a hundred-percent sure,” he doesn’t stop eating, shoving two spoonfuls of rice in his mouth. His cheeks puff up considerably, and your eyes trail down to his neck as he swallows, “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t wanna.” 

“Right,” you don’t need a big explanation or a personal confession from Jungkook, just his consent. “Partners, Jeon?” you hold up your glass. 

“Partners,” he agrees easily. The smile on his face disarms you, a full-fledged grin decked with pearly whites. Clicking his glass to yours he adds, “And it’s Jungkook, babe.” 

Oh, this is going to be interesting. 

Seokjin thinks the two of you are the most boring fake-couple. 

His eyes dart back and forth between your spot on the couch and his desk, where Jungkook is currently seated. Seokjin is hovered over Jungkook, who’s typing and clicking furiously over his PC game. You’re on your phone, feet pulled up to the coffee table while some old Netflix movie plays in the background. To top it all off both of you didn’t even try to dress like it’s daytime, nearly matching in sweatpants and an oversized hoodie. It doesn’t look like a couple coming to visit Seokin, it looks like Jungkook is playing video games with Seokjin while his cousin hangs around like she owns the place. 

“Shouldn’t you guys like, I don’t know, go on dates or something?” Seokjin feels like he’s talking to the air. “Maybe get to know each other before the big day?” 

Pulling your phone down to your lap and Jungkook taking off his headphones, the two of you shrug at each other, “No, we’re good.” Jungkook says. 

“We know enough,” you agree cooly, “Jungkook likes Valorant.” 

“I do like Valorant.” 

“He likes pork belly.”

“I do like pork belly.” 

“He’s ripped as hell.” 

“I am ripped as hell.” 

“Okay but have you guys kissed yet?” Seokjin interjects, probably compensating for the nonchalance in the room with his own brand of freaking out. You two only see each other when you’re hanging out at Seokjin’s apartment, and while he’s happy that you two aren’t doing the whole 9-yards and creating an elaborate scheme, the both of you are almost too relaxed. His anxiety is spiking.

“Yes,” Jungkook answers, “at the barbeque place we went to.” 

“It was nice," you tack on, "Jin, we got this. Don't worry." 

"How can I not worry when you're trying to upset our cousin on her wedding day?" he's sweating in his fully air-conditioned apartment. “I get that she’s the devil’s spawn and everything, but she’s still a human being.” 

“In second grade she pushed me on the treadmill because I was going too slow. I got caught on the roller and got a bald spot for two months.” 

“Okay yes one bad example—” 

“And in senior year she accused me of plagiarizing her essay just because we chose the same topic. I almost didn’t get into college!” Seokjin sighs, crossing his arms. All valid points, and arguing with you isn’t a route he wants to take. “Jin, the point is that she’s constantly pushing my buttons. I’ve always been the bigger person and now that I’m old and confident I just want one jab.”

“That’s valid,” Jungkook pipes up, pressing the spacebar a few times, “I want a jab too, she cheated on me.” 

“See? It’s a mutual decision.” 

Seokjin asks, “Why aren’t you more worried about this?”

"Because Doyeon isn't going to chew me out on her wedding day," you checked your aunt's seating chart last week and you are far, far away from the bridal table. "We're just going to show off a little bit. Get drunk, eat some bomb steak. Break up in three months or less.”

"You don't have to just convince Doyeon, it's your entire family! Not to mention you also have to go to the bachelor party!" 

"Oh I almost forgot," you reach under the couch for your laptop, "Jungkook, in two weekends from now we're flying to Las Vegas for the bachelor party and wedding. I'll buy your ticket now." 

"Thanks, babe!” Jungkook sends a cheeky grin to Seokjin, who is unimpressed. “See? I remember to call her babe.” 

“Alright, get out of my house,” Seokjin tugs Jungkook away from his computer, causing the younger man to swivel around in his plush gaming chair. 

Jungkook frowns at the monitor, “But I’m still bronze one. I’m aiming for silver one by this weekend.” 

“Don’t care. As much as I don’t like this plan, I’m not letting you two slip-up.” Seokjin pulls out his phone, revealing Doyeon’s Instagram story, “Doyeon and Namjoon are at the mall buying swimsuits for Vegas. Go to the mall and ‘accidentally’ run into them.”

You sit up straight, tilting your head to the side. “That’s not a bad idea, actually,” you bound over to grab your jacket, giving Seokjin a big fat kiss on his cheek, “Thanks Jinnie, do you know you’re—”

“I’m your favorite cousin. Yeah whatever, bye.” He waves you off, plopping in his own chair so he can enjoy his games in peace. 

“I’m driving,” Jungkook declares, swiping your keys from Seokjin’s opal dish. 

“Oh, hell no,” you jump on your tippy toes to reach Jungkook’s grasp on your keys, but he’s so freakishly tall there’s no way you can reach. “I drive my car!” 

“I’ve always wanted to drive your car back then,” Jungkook cooes, leaning in so your noses touch. “C’mon, you can trust me.” 

“You two are gross already,” Seokjin admonishes from the other side of the room, “see, it’s working!” 

Poking his cheek so he gives you some space, you whip your head to hide the flush that burns on your cheeks. “Fine, but if you crash you’re buying me a new one.” 

“They’re over there,” you hiss between the racks, shuffling between the plastic hangers to point to Doyeon and Namjoon at the women’s section of the store. They look disgustingly adorable together, with Doyeon pointedly telling Namjoon which swimsuit suits his stature better while Namjoon nods along and goes with whatever she says. You crouch down lower, fearing Namjoon’s tall frame would catch you. “Now we just gotta act all couple-y and they’ll notice us. Or maybe we can walk over to them? What do you wanna do?” 

“Do you think we should get matching swimsuits?” Jungkook pays no mind to your sleuthing, holding up a red pair of swim trunks to his thighs, “we could pretend to be sexy lifeguards.” 

You tilt your head away from the pair, only because Jungkook has been genuinely interested in this store since you’ve arrived. Putting a hand under your chin, you scrutinize the dark red cutoff shorts. “They’re cute,” you nod appreciatively, “It’ll make your thighs look thick.” 

Jungkook’s grip on his hanger lowers, and he regards you with dark eyes. “You think my thighs look thick?” he asks, leaning in and putting one hand on the curve of your waist. His fingers dance on the surface of bare skin between your top and jeans, and while you’ve agreed beforehand that you two could touch each other wherever in public, it still surprises you when gooseflesh rises to the surface.

“Easy there, tiger,” you chuckle, putting a hand on his chest to stop his sudden bout of flirting. “I’m just stating the facts, we get it. You lift.” 

“You’re so cute when you try to put your guard up,” he’s brushing noses with you now, and you feel the plastic of the hanger crumple pathetically between you two as the gap closes further. “But you can’t hide from me.”

And just as his lips move to press against yours, a shrill “Jungkook!” echoes throughout the large store.

You nearly flop over the boardshorts rack if not for Jungkook’s arms secured around your waist. Oh right, you think dumbly, this is all for show. Doyeon and Namjoon are right in front of you, purchases already made and looking at you two in curiosity. Well, Namjoon is definitely curious, because you know for a fact that Doyeon speaks very little of you to him and you’ve only conversed with him a handful of times. Doyeon on the other hand, looks a little stiff in the grin. 

“Hello to you too,” you remark to Doyeon, who’s barely acknowledged you. You reach over to squeeze Namjoon’s arm, “Hi Joonie,” you crinkle your eyes, and you fight back a squeal when he smiles back with dimples. Doyeon has such a cute fiancé, and if you’re keeping score he’s way too good for her. 

Doyeon’s eyes glaze over to where you’ve touched Namjoon, and she links her arms with his. “What a coincidence, you two are buying swimsuits where we’re buying swimsuits.” 

“Well, there’s only one mall in this town and we’re going on the same trip in two weeks,” you reply blandly, and you feel Jungkook pinch your side. “Oh, Namjoon. Have you met my boyfriend Jungkook?”

“Can’t say that I have,” Namjoon reaches over to clasp Jungkook’s hand, “nice to meet you, man.” 

While Namjoon and Jungkook exchange small talk, you pointedly ignore the waves of negativity Doyeon sends your way in favor of observing the two large men. Namjoon just said it was nice to meet him, therefore he has no clue who Jungkook is. Interesting, considering Doyeon two-timed in favor of Namjoon. It gets you a little antsy, and you wonder if Namjoon is faking this whole interaction or if Doyeon is hiding something. 

“Baby,” Jungkook rests a hand on your shoulder, regarding you with concern, “you spaced out there, are you okay?” 

“She’s like that, Jungkookie,” Jungkook gently presses your shoulders down, blocking your view of Doyeon as she regards your not-boyfriend as Jungkookie. “My cousin’s a bit of an airhead,” her tone is sweet and jesting, the backhanded jab going right above Namjoon’s head. 

“I’m just hungry,” you say, forcing a tight-lipped smile. 

“Well, that’s perfect,” Namjoon clasps his hands together, “Yeonie and I were just about to go grab some dinner. Why don’t you join us?”

Doyeon and you both reply immediately, “That really isn’t necessary—” 

“Nonsense,” you don’t even have the heart to be upset at Namjoon because he looks so damn genuine, “It’s been two years and I haven’t even bought you a meal, y/n. After all, we’re going to be family at the end of the month.” 

“Right,” you answer reluctantly. 

“We’re gonna make reservations at the Cheesecake Factory,” he pulls out his phone, ready to make a call, “but you and Jungkook can finish shopping, okay? The wait will be a little long but by the time you’re done our table should be ready.” 

You and Jungkook wave off Doyeon and Namjoon as they make their way to the restaurant. Your hand is caught in the air by Jungkook, who regards you with worry in his eyes. “I wasn’t kidding when I said you looked spaced out,” he says, “tell me what you were really thinking.” 

Subconsciously, you squeeze his palm for comfort. “I don’t know, it just feels weird knowing Namjoon doesn’t seem to know you at all. Normally Doyeon loves to talk shit about her exes.” 

Jungkook scoffs easily, “I mean, if she’s marrying the guy I’m sure she doesn’t want to let him know the details of how they ended up together.” 

“True,” you decide to let it go, and follow Jungkook to the register to pay for his swim trunks. 

“So,” the little ‘ding’ of the register opens up the money box, and Jungkook quickly hands the clerk his cash, “we’re having dinner with them after this?” 

“Only if you want to.”

“We need to, right?” Jungkook thanks the clerk, holding the bag in one hand and threading his fingers through yours as you head out the store. 

“Well, do you want to?” you ask again. Jungkook stops the two of you on the sidewalk. It isn’t a fast stop, but a slow down that makes his walk a little more thicker, more deliberate as he trudges you down the lane. You move in front of him, clutching your hands between his. “Are you okay? You barely even acknowledged Doyeon.” 

“I’m fine,” you flinch at his harsh tone, and he immediately moves to remedy it by squeezing your hand back. “I’m sorry. It’s just been awhile and I’m definitely over her but,” he bows his head, feeling embarrassed, “she hurt me, you know?” 

Going into this is definitely one of the more selfish plans you’ve put your mind to. Your heart pangs thinking about what must be going through everytime he sees her. If he’s reminded about all the good times they shared, or how much he’s over thought every single conversation he’s had with her up until this point.

“Of course,” you completely understand, knowing from the beginning that this whole mess would end up with some dicey feelings someway or another. “I’m just thankful you chose to stick by me. And we can talk about it if you’re comfortable,” both of you being victims of Doyeon’s brand of torture, you hope the two of you can at least be friends after all of this is over, “we don’t have to go have dinner with them.” 

“But, Namjoon got us a table—” 

“Namjoon will be fine. We can always have dinner with him another time,” you smile softly, “what matters is that you’re okay.” 

His gaze melts, and you feel his grip loosen in your hold. He regards you with weak eyes, betraying the confidence he held himself to moments before. “Thanks, y/n,” he says, “I really appreciate that.” 

“Anytime,” you reply honestly. “We can go to Cheesecake and order to-go. I can make some excuse about how my stomach hurts and that we should do a raincheck.” 

“Sounds good.” 

“Do you wanna eat at one of our places or eat at the park or something?” you’re already pulling up your phone, checking out the menu. “We could invite Jin too.” 

“The park sounds nice,” neither of you acknowledge the fact that you’re not inviting Seokjin, and for some reason that’s okay.

“Yeah,” you agree simply, “the weather’s beautiful.” 

Under any normal circumstances, you would’ve been friends with someone like Jeon Jungkook, easily. A little part of you wishes that you could’ve met Jungkook first, but Doyeon has better connections than you and always had a good crowd around despite her inner motivations. No awkward exchange happens when you suggest to Jungkook to eat together. Even though you’re not technically dating, the two of you know that eating together is better than eating alone.

And you have to admit Jungkook’s great company. The two of you drive to a reserve nearby, overlooking a tiny lake. Instead of a fancy Italian tablecloth the two of you move your car seats down and set a spare picnic blanket in the trunk. Instead of a candlelit dinner the two of you find some emergency electric tealights in the glove compartment, lighting it up between you two as you dig into your to-go boxes. 

You’re a little envious that so much time has passed by. You could’ve been a little sneakier and made a better effort to communicate with Jungkook when you saw him regularly at family parties, and maybe you two would have a better friendship today. Nevertheless, the two of you mesh like peanut butter and jelly, exchanging conversation that has your cheeks sore from smiling too hard. 

By the time you get to dessert, the moon is out and the stars are floating above your heads. The two of you are at war, fighting with your forks over the last strawberry in your cheesecake slice. After some careful stabbing Jungkook manages to nab it with his fork. 

He almost puts it in his mouth, but instead swipes up some whipped cream to press the last strawberry to your lips. 

“I think it’s working,” Jungkook says randomly as you chew the sweet fruit, “you could see it on Doyeon’s face today. She’s unsettled.” 

“Yeah,” you agree, lying down on the lavender gingham picnic blanket. 

“Do you know why she fights with you all the time?” 

“That’s a question I’ve been asking myself since the dawn of time.”

“I think I know why.” Jungkook looks down at you with his large doe eyes, licking innocently on a spoon of whipped cream. 

“Pray tell.” 

“She’s jealous of you.” 

“No,” you disagree easily, “she’s jealous that I have you.” 

“Bzzt! Wrong,” Jungkook puts his empty container in your makeshift trash can, falling beside you and knitting his hands under his head. You have a little window on the roof of your car, so both of you are able to stare at the navy sky, “she’s always been jealous of you. Think about it. The two of you have similar lifestyles: same career path, confidence, taste, education. But even after all of that? People still like you more.” 

You scoff, hands immediately reaching to fiddle with the frayed corner of fabric next to your fingers. “I don’t think so.” 

“I’ve met all of Doyeon’s friends,” he informs you, “they’re weird. Like yeah, they care about each other on the surface level. But they’re nothing of substance. They’re not like your friends.” 

“Please, Doyeon has everything she could ever want,” you don’t know what kind of complex you have supporting Doyeon’s life, but something deep and insecure wants to separate you two as far away from each other as possible. “Like… she’s Malibu Barbie and I’m Polly Pocket.” 

Jungkook turns to face you, resting his head between his palm and leaning on his elbow. “Do you not think you’re beautiful?” 

“Yeah, but compared to Doyeon—” 

“You’ve always been beautiful to me, don’t you know that?”

You choke on your saliva, feeling small and skittish at the implication behind his words. It’s been two years. You’ve only been friends for two weeks. How can he possibly say that? 

“I uh, saw you once,” Jungkook coughs, and you watch the way his pale cheeks unmatch the moon and instead flit to a crimson hue, “we were at some party and you were wearing this really cute black dress with a white bow in the middle. Doesn’t even matter what party because it was random, y’know? I was gonna go talk to you but Doyeon got to me first and well, the rest is history.” He breaks eye contact with you, unable to handle it. 

You remember that party, vaguely. It was random, some sort of poetry slam in a shady part of town. Doyeon and you didn’t even go with each other, you were with Taehyung and she just happened to stumble in there from another nearby party. You didn’t even know Jungkook was there that night, or how you were a hair's breadth away from meeting him before Doyeon. 

“Don’t ever think you’re lesser than her just because out of all the people she chose to pick on, she chose you. It’s why she never lets you get to know her boyfriends. She’s threatened by you because you’re just as special,” something low sparks in your chest at his words,  “and now that you’ve finally decided to stoop to her level and fight back with a taste of her own medicine, she doesn’t know what to do.” 

Feeling like your body is on a beach and you’re sinking in sand, you soften over your picnic blanket, mulling it over. “Did I make the right choice? Stooping down to her level.” Your voice is quiet, comparable to the chirping birds and buzzing gnats outside. 

“We won’t know until after the wedding,” Jungkook answers honestly, “but I do know I’m sticking with you until the end. We’re friends now, got that? You have no excuse to ignore me anymore.” 

You don’t want to ignore Jungkook, never in a million years. Now you know that you are envious of Doyeon, for having an opportunity to love and care for an amazing person like him. So in a sudden bout of emotion, you roll over to straddle Jungkook’s waist. 

He’s shocked, hands flying to your waist to make sure you don’t wobble off. But you’re determined, and lean down to press your lips against his. He tastes like cheesecake and strawberries, the taste melding with your own as you relish in the feeling of his soft lips against yours. You melt a little when he squeaks, breaking into a soft moan as he reciprocates the gesture. He’s warm and large and he makes you feel safe. Once your brain returns to your body, you break for air. You only pull back a few centimeters, and there’s no way for you to get off because Jungkook has locked you in place. 

“What was that for?” he asks breathlessly. 

“Don’t know,” you’re whispering against his lips, unable to pull away, “just felt like we needed a little more practice.” 

He blinks, before relaxing in a silly smile. “I agree,” he says simply, dipping you on your back so he can be on top the second time around. 

“We’re in Vegas, baby!” 

Every single terrible comedy movie set in Las Vegas has brought you to this very moment. You’ve always wanted to say that line. Dumping your luggage next to Jungkook’s, you flop on the nearest mattress. Thank goodness you only wore leggings and a t-shirt on the flight, it’s the optimal sleeping outfit after a long day. Feeling something hard and plastic dig into your brain, you hold up the culprit and squeal excitedly. “Look, Kook!” you wave the crinkly confection in your hands, “they put mints on the pillows!” 

Despite your room being a square with two queen beds, the hotel does not skimp on quality. The decor is ornate, the white and gold trim on the doorknobs and metal appliances shimmering beautifully. The beds feel like clouds, as you try to imagine what a cloud could possibly feel like, this is it. 

Jungkook immediately follows suit, ripping off his outer clothes until he’s left in his undershirt and boxers, flopping next to you on the mattress. He immediately opens his mouth when you shoot a mint, catching it easily. “I feel like we’re in a deleted scene of Crazy Rich Asians,” he says, letting the hard mint clink around his teeth, “is this the part where you tell me your family comes from old money and I’m gonna be your sugar baby?” 

“Don’t be so hopeful,” you narrow your eyes, booping his button nose with your finger. 

“I’m just saying, the first class flight threw me off.” 

You giggle, slapping his chest, “No. If that was true, we wouldn’t be sharing a room with my cousin. Sorry you have to share the bed with me, I got the hotel with Jin and he doesn’t want to sleep with you.”

“S’okay,” Jungkook replies softly, leaning closer to make grabby hands at you, “you’re softer.” 

Tentatively, you scooch over so you can lean on Jungkook’s chest. You two have a little time before Doyeon and Namjoon’s combined bachelor and bachelorette party. The past two weeks have been nice—scratch that, the past two weeks with Jungkook have been wonderful. You never cared to measure how much time passed before meeting him, but now that you’ve begun fake-dating, time is the only thing you regard. You’re already beginning to miss him, knowing that in a week, this whole arrangement will be over.

Well, not exactly over. Jungkook says you’ll remain friends after this, but you don’t really want that. You want more, and it scares you to think he may not feel the same. 

But right now you’re snuggling like an old couple, sleeping comfortably between pillow-like sheets and minty breath. Your pretend boyfriend, now your pretend boyfriend with benefits, looks soft and huggable and you want to bottle up this moment forever. You say benefits because, well, the cuddling is an added bonus. Practice practice practice, Jungkook sing songs the words you used that one night under the stars, excuses to seal his lips to your lips. You’ll never argue with that. So when Jungkook’s hand tightens around your waist and pulls you closer, you relent. 

One second, you’re closing your eyes and the next, you’re waking up to Seokin’s wide eyes staring back at you. 

“Eep, you creepo!” you shriek, scrambling away from him. That’s when you realize Jungkook’s missing from bed, the scent of his laundry detergent lingering between the eggshell Egyptian cotton. 

“Jungkook’s in the shower,” Seokjin immediately reads your mind, pulling away so he can unpack his luggage. “My flight just got in two hours ago, you both were out like a light when I arrived.”

“Ugh, I’m really not ready to party.” 

“Doyeon just texted the family group chat. She reserved the rooftop, the party starts in an hour,” he talks mindlessly, rifling through his stuff. Seokjin is fiddling with his clothes, despite the fact that you know Seokjin prepares his outfits days in advance so he doesn’t have to choose. He looks concerned, pulling out a flamingo pink boardshort and setting it down on his mattress. Finally he says, “I’m worried about you.” 

“Why?” 

“Because. It’s clear that you’re starting to fall for Jungkook.” 

The words strike you straight in the place you’re trying to avoid. You’ve been living in a fantasy these past two weeks, thinly veiled by the whole reason you two are together in the first place. Doyeon’s wedding is just around the corner, and what then? 

“I’m not saying that he doesn’t feel anything for you either,” that gets your heart skipping a beat, and you secretly hold a hand to your chest under the blankets, “but do you really want to start off a relationship like this? A relationship all messy and morally objective because it’s built on revenge?” 

“Don’t worry about me,” the words easily fall from your lips, “I can take care of this.” 

“I hate it when you say that,” the words are curt and harsh against Seokjin’s plush lips, “I’m allowed to worry about you, y/n. You know why? Because, because you’re my favorite cousin too,” he bites his lip, walking over so he sits on your side of the bed. “So don’t tell me what I can and can’t worry about. I want you to be happy, I want you to stop holding in this anger you have for Doyeon and move on.” 

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, leaning over to press your cheek against Seokjin’s shoulder. “You’re right.” 

“For the first time in a long time, you’ve finally decided to lean on someone,” and both of you know who that someone is. “I don’t want you to lose him over some petty family issue. You should tell him how you feel.” 

“I will,” you wrap your arms around your cousin’s slim waist in a silent thanks. 

“Am I interrupting a tender family moment?” 

The two of you pull away to stare at Jungkook, leaning against the doorframe that leads to the bathroom. He’s in a plain white t-shirt and the red board shorts that you bought at the mall, cutting off mid-thigh and revealing the bulky muscle underneath. You were right, the shorts do make his thighs look thick. 

Seokjin groans exaggeratedly. “Yes, yes you did.” 

Jungkook immediately goes to replace Seokjin’s spot, and some stray droplets fall fresh from the shower due to his slicked-back hair. “Do you wanna get ready? First party’s soon.” 

“Not really,” you admit, “you’re gonna meet the family all over again.” 

“Second time’s the charm,” he winked, “I’ve already met your parents and everything. Not feeling nervous at all.” 

“Oh, really?” 

“Really,” and the facade cools down a little, “well, maybe a little nervous for your Aunt Lillian. Her stares give me the heebie-jeebies.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from Aunt Lillian.” 

“God the two of you get worse every day,” Seokjin has magically changed into his shorts, tucking himself into the bed, “don’t wake me up until we pre-game.” 

Doyeon and Namjoon don’t skimp on the festivities, although in taste the ideas are Doyeon’s in its entirety. It’s lavish and colorful, with a beautiful infinity pool in the middle decorated with lavender and pink headlights. There’s a buffet table overflowing with tasty food. There’s petal pink champagne overflowing from fountains, decorated with fresh strawberries bobbing around the fizzy drink. 

“I don’t know,” Namjoon and Jungkook have been talking for well over an hour, and it’s clear how well they mesh together. Heck, you’ve accepted that Jungkook may like Namjoon more than he likes you. Jungkook’s eyes sparkle as Namjoon discusses the various genres of rap and hip-hop music, explaining the potency of mature themes in a young community, “but I will say music is like another language, knows no boundaries when it comes to sending their messages to others.” 

You fight the urge to chuckle when Jungkook sighs dreamily at the music theory professor. “Wow, that’s so deep.” 

Getting up from your cabana, you nudge Seokjin, who’s currently flirting it up with one of Doyeon’s bridesmaids. “Hey, wanna get a drink?” you ask, throwing your wrap on the cushions to reveal your strappy red bikini. 

“And chicken tenders,” Seokjin presses a kiss to the bridesmaid’s cheek, bidding her goodbye as he follows you out of the shaded area. 

“Do you two lovebirds want anything?” you stare pointedly at Namjoon and Jungkook. While Namjoon’s eyes stay in contact with you, you can’t help but smile a little more when Jungkook has a hard time keeping his gaze in one place. 

“I think we’re fine,” Namjoon answers for both of them, swirling his beer bottle. “I’ll meet you two at the bar once I’m done.” 

“Sure thing,” Seokjin puts a hand on your back to lead you to one of the open bars. As much as you like being in a handsome hotel with money to burn, nothing beats the fact that your entire family is here to celebrate. The elders have corroborated two cabanas for poker and other games, while your younger cousins are playing ping pong and air hockey on the other side. 

“Namjoon sure is a dreamboat,” Seokjin bemoans, handing you an electric orange drink. You take a sip of it, and bug out when you realize it tastes nothing like alcohol. You’re definitely in for a night. “Like I can hear him wax music thingamajib any day.” 

“I thought you were into that bridesmaid.” 

“A mere diversion,” he sighs, leaning his tanned arms against the bar, “can’t ignore the deep voice Namjoon has, it’s intoxicating.” 

“I’m sure Jungkook would agree,” you egg on. 

“What are you two talking about?” you straighten up when the man of the hour shows up at the bar, absolutely glowing under the sunset. He orders a round for the three of you, and you immediately chug your own drink to get to the next one. 

“Talking about how you’re stealing Jungkook away from me,” you joke, accepting another fruity drink from Namjoon. Damn, this stuff tastes like candy. 

“Oh, never,” Namjoon replies brightly, waving the thought away, “do you see the way he looks at you? Hopelessly in love.” 

Maybe it’s the copious amounts of alcohol, but you feel your stomach flip-flop at the thought of love. You’ve always known what love felt like, the warmth of Namjoon’s cheeks whenever he sees Doyeon, when your mom takes care of you when you’re sick, when Seokjin makes sure you’re not emotionally constipated 24/7. But the thought of Jungkook and you in love? It’s a feeling you secretly yearn for. 

“Right? It’s disgusting,” Seokjin groans with an eye roll, “like, Jungkook wasn’t like that with Doyeon at all when they were together.” 

The slip up has the three of you choking on your own thoughts, staring at each other like the three have just been told you’re on a prank show. But it is no prank, and you look at Seokjin who’s absolutely horrified. 

“Oh shit,” he squeaks, looking at Namjoon guiltily, “did I say something I shouldn’t have said?” 

“I don’t know,” Namjoon replies coolly, “did you?” 

The ominous response gets you going, and you quickly place a hand on Namjoon’s arm, placating him. “They dated, yes. But it was only for a short time and we’ve sorted everything out. Nothing for you to worry about.” 

“Oh,” Namjoon quirks his head, and regards you two with pursed lips. “I’m not one of those guys who freak out over other people’s exes. I’m just surprised that I’ve only heard this now,” Namjoon takes a slow sip of his drink, and despite your drink also being cold and refreshing, you’re absolutely sweating. 

“Well, I’m sure Doyeon didn’t want to worry you.”

At the mention of his future wife, he beams. “You’re right, she’s considerate like that,” and the conversation ends just like that. He holds up his drink to the two of you, and you and Seokjin do the same. With a sharp clink he leaves you two to mull, happily conversing with the next round of guests he needs to entertain for the week. 

“That guy is too nice for his own good,” you shake your head, asking the bartender for your third drink within ten minutes. 

Seokjin leans over you and warbles, “So you’re telling me that Namjoon has no idea that Doyeon cheated on Jungkook in order to date him?” he’s sweating just like you are, following suit to your actions and asking to make his drink a double. 

“I don’t know,” you bite your lip, your teeth worrying the dark skin, “I’ve been thinking about it for a while though. I just don’t want to get involved, you know?” 

“But this is different!” 

“But Doyeon’s family!” 

“And all of a sudden you care about Doyeon’s feelings?” Seokjin gripes back, “it’s not about Doyeon, it’s about the both of them. And if we know something that Namjoon doesn’t, wouldn’t it be in our best interests to warn him before he seals a marriage deal that costs him over a zillion dollars?” he gestures to the extravagant wedding party. 

“But we don’t even have any proof that’s the case,” you frown, “Doyeon could have changed—a little, not a lot—since meeting Namjoon, maybe she thinks it’s best to reveal as little as possible.” 

Seokjin wonders what kind of family he has. One as chaotic as his takes a lot to stomach, and Seokjin likes to pride himself in his strong appetite. “Fine, let’s just keep a close eye on both of them this week. And if anything remotely fishy happens, we strike.” 

“Deal.” 

You return to the cabana alone, with a plate of fries for both you and Jungkook. Jungkook is also alone, laying on the lounge chair with his eyes closed. It gives you a chance to ogle your fake-boyfriend a little bit, reveling in the sight of his toned body. 

Setting down your plate with a sharp rap of the glass, Jungkook opens one eye. “Hey,” he smiles, drinking in your muted expression, “you okay?”

Damn Jungkook for being able to read you so well. “I think so. It’s nothing, really.” 

“Well, will you tell me if it’s something?” 

“Yeah, I will.” 

“So, I do have something to tell you though.” Jungkook sits up, regarding you wearily. “Can you… stand in front of me?” Confused, you shove a fry in your mouth and walk up to him as directed, your back blocking the entrance as you stand in front of him. “Okay, come closer. Now bend down,” you bend your back 90 degrees, and he presses a hand to your shoulder to stop you, “no, no. With your breasts out, just a little—there! Arch your back. Like you’re doing the Sorority Squat.” 

“Excuse me—” 

“The music isn’t even that loud,” he mutters to himself, “no one would need to push their boobs in my face to hear me.” 

“Jungkook, is someone pressing boobs to your face?” 

“Why,” he breaks into a playful grin, “jealous?”

“Not if it’s Aunt Lillian.” 

“Unfortunately it wasn’t,” he twiddles with the drawstrings of his shorts. “It was Doyeon.” 

Doyeon? She didn’t walk by your cabana all day. Heck, she barely greeted you when you arrived with Jungkook. But when Jungkook’s alone is when she decides to pounce? And with what motive? 

“I don’t know,” he’s rambling to himself, “maybe I’m overthinking it. It was only half a second.” 

“Jungkook, I have something to tell you,” you say instead, panic in your features. 

“Is it something urgent?” 

“Well, no but—” 

“Then tell me when we get back to the room,” Jungkook easily pulls you onto his lap, and you instantly heat up when you feel your bare butt press against Jungkook’s golden thighs. “Like you said, we’re in Vegas. Let’s have fun while we can.” 

“Okay,” you tuck your head between his neck and collarbone, reaching to press a kiss to his smooth jawline. 

Relaxing against the plush lounge chair Jungkook feeds you fries while talking about the things he wants to do this week. It’s his first time in Vegas and he wants to make the most of it. He wants to visit all the buffets he sees on Buzzfeed compilations, relax at the pool, maybe catch a show. The thought of spending all week with him and your family is nice, and suddenly you don’t feel so awkward sitting on his lap, and eventually he pulls you between his thighs so you can lay on his chest. 

“And between you and me,” he fake whispers against the shell of your ear, as if he’s telling you the biggest secret, “we’re the hottest couple here.” 

The next three days leading up to the wedding are relatively uninteresting. 

Uninteresting in the best way possible. On Monday you and Jungkook spend time with your little cousins, taking them to The Adventuredome, one of the resort's indoor theme parks. On Tuesday you and Jungkook go shopping at the outlet malls with your parents, blowing hundreds of dollars on cheap Levis that have your luggage bursting with a new wardrobe. In between all of that Seokjin and occasionally Namjoon joins you two in your buffet journey, hitting up the top spots and filling your tummies to the brim with delicious food. 

On Wednesday, Jungkook brandishes two gold-foiled tickets in front of you, waving them around like a fan. With one finger, he pushes away your Pokémon battle, “I got us tickets to Cirque du Soleil,” he announces proudly, “waited in line for an hour.”

You gape, scrambling off of your bed and throwing your Nintendo Switch to the side. “Jungkook,” you marvel, “these are so expensive. How’d you manage to get a show for tonight?” 

He shrugs, “Looked around.” 

“You’ve been impulse buying a lot this week,” you tease, “like really, you don’t need three pairs of the same ripped jeans.”

“This wasn’t an impulse buy,” he says, “I’ve been looking around for shows. Just managed to pick them up today, so go get dressed for our date.”

Did Jungkook just call it a date? Giddy with excitement you throw the covers off, running into the bathroom to get ready. What a surprise, you didn’t think Jungkook would be into spontaneous things like this. 

Seokjin left the bathroom open, so when you walk in the room it is steamy and warm. Your dear cousin is still in the shower, probably waiting for his conditioner to pass three minutes of set-in time. 

“What are you getting ready for?” Seokjin asks over the rain shower.

“Kook got us tickets to Cirque du Soleil,” you chirp happily, looking through your skin care products. 

“I wanna come!” 

“Nope! Jungkook called it a date.” 

“Oh, a date,” Seokjin drawls, putting his head under the water to rinse his hair clean. “Well then, should I vacate the room for tonight?” 

“What, no!” you’ve closed the door, so thankfully Jungkook can’t hear you talking about him. “We’re not doing anything. We’re just two friends who are fake-dating going on a date.” 

“Sounds like a real date, though,” Seokjin wraps a towel around himself to cover all his important bits before getting out of the shower, bumping elbows with you so he can brush his teeth. “Either way, I’ll be gone tonight. It’s my turn to watch the baby cousins. Don’t have too much fun while I'm in their room watching Despicable Me for the millionth time.” 

“We’ll be sure to stop by with some pizza or something,” you tease, a little wiggle in your hips when you vacate the bathroom. 

By the time you and Jungkook are ready, you two are dressed impeccably. Jungkook is wearing one of the ripped black jeans he bought on Tuesday, combined with a white button up and black blazer. A classic outfit with a little bit of Jungkook-themed flair. And to Jungkook’s surprise, you’re wearing the dress that he first saw you in, all those years ago. You’ve gained a little weight since college, but you still fill out the little black dress beautifully, the little white bow in the middle adding a simple yet adorable touch. It took a little sleuthing and searching through your old college clothes, but you were determined to find it when Jungkook reminded you how much you love the design. 

Clearly from the way Jungkook is currently gaping at you like a bloated fish, he loves it too. 

The show is beautiful and colorful, leaving you speechless and in tears by the end of it. Jungkook lets you hold his hand the entire time, feeling a bout of anxiety anytime the acrobats fall gracefully despite the large height. 

Overall, it was a wonderful show, paired with your equally enamouring date. It’s getting harder and harder to distinguish what’s fake and what’s real in your heart, and throughout the night you’re sorely reminded that you should tell Jungkook how you feel. 

But by the time you get to the room your parents are calling you, asking to get their suit and dresses out of the car so hotel service can do a last minute press and dry clean. 

“I’ll be back,” you say to Jungkook, “I need to go get their clothes out of the car. They’re always so forgetful.” 

“Want me to come?” he offers, hand shying away from inserting the keycard in. 

“No, I’ll only be fifteen minutes, tops.”

“So I guess this is this the part where I get a goodnight kiss?” he asks cheekily, leaning on his heels so his tall frame reaches yours. You don’t hesitate to give a short peck to his pretty pink lips. He pouts at the brevity, “that was too quick.” 

“Go inside,” you insist, “the sooner you get ready for bed the sooner I can get ready for bed.” 

“Then more kisses?” 

“Then more kisses.” 

Jungkook breaks into an all-teeth smile, unable to control himself when he dips down and steals a longer, more lingering kiss to your lips. “I had a great time tonight,” he says, mimicking every single teenage rom-com protagonist who’s deeply in love with the popular jock. “Don’t take too long, okay?” 

You nod, pushing him inside, “C’mon, if you stopped talking I’d be back by now!” 

Once the door closes shut, you let yourself do a little dance in the hallway, wiggling your butt and giving yourself a mini-celebration. You quickly text your group chat that you just came back from the Cirque show.

Jimin: what, a date with your fake date?

Hobi: jeon jungcock? 👀👀

Jimin: whaaaaaattttt. U’ve gotta have sat in his lap at least. 3 times since you’ve started this ting

Hobi: i’ve heard things in college… 

Taehyung: u are all gross and i hate u 

Taehyung: but so am i bc im very curious 

Just as you’re about to send a heated reply, the elevator dings, revealing a pissed off Doyeon. She’s bare-faced, in a fluffy lilac bath robe and matching puff ball slippers. You slip in right beside her, making sure there’s a comfortable amount of space between you two. 

“You’re going to the parking garage too?” you ask, eyes lingering on the lit button. 

“Yeah,” she’s looking at her phone, a few stray hairs from her mahogany bun falling onto her forehead, “Aunt Lillian left her medication in the car. I don’t know why she has to send me, I’m busy getting married.” 

“My parents left their formal clothes in the car,” you shrug, “you know, my parents and Aunt Lillian share the same brain cell. Gotta help them out once in a while.”  

The icy silence in the elevator is probably the calmest you and Doyeon have been since you’ve announced your relationship status with Jungkook. You fight the sigh, opting to take out your phone and open some unread messages. 

Jeon Jung-boo-thang: hurry up, the bed’s cold without u 

You: lool, why do u look constipated 

Jeon Jung-boo-thang: because i am, hurry up. Im bringing ur switch to the toilet and playing on your profile 

You: JEON WAIT YAMPERS AT 5HP GO TO THE POKEMON CENTER U HEATHEN

You tilt your head a centimeter, feeling Doyeon breathing down your neck like Puff the Magic Dragon. You look at her with wide eyes. Her long, slender neck manages to snake its way next to your head, “Can I help you?” you ask amusedly, clutching your phone to your chest. 

“Are you two really together?” she asks, batting her lashes. All this week she’s left you alone, and you’ve been wondering when she’s going to make herself known. It’s a little self-absorbed you have to admit, but ever since Namjoon’s ignorance to Doyeon’s previous relationship, you’ve been on edge. 

“Of course we are,” you spit back, “I love him.” 

And you must be very convincing, because Doyeon’s gaze falters just a fraction. You glare at her, staking your claim. Ever since Jungkook told you the reason Doyeon hates you is because she’s jealous, you’ve started to feel a bit of sympathy for her. Doyeon is beautiful and smart, she has no reason to feel this way. But the brain holds fickle thoughts sometimes, bringing darkness to the mind. 

“He loved me first,” she bites back, lifting her chin. 

“And why do you care?” you laugh tonelessly. The elevator dings open, and you’re met with the open air and concrete of the parking garage. “He may have loved you first, but he’ll love me last.” 

You leave the elevator first, a little pep in your step as you make your way to the rental car to gather your parent’s things. While the words you uttered are white in nature and may not hold any sort of weight to them, it manages to bring Doyeon to her knees, absolutely quaking in the elevator. 

You’re tasting revenge, and it’s sweet. 

“Okay, you need to leave,” Seokjin pulls away the shot glass from your lips, “I didn’t spend days planning the itinerary for you to mess it up. Bridal party in Doyeon’s suite and the groom’s party in Namjoon’s parents suite.” 

“That’s dumb,” you chastise, crossing your arms, “we’re all meeting at the same club at 10. Why can’t we pre-party together?” 

“Because it’s tradition!” 

“Screw tradition,” you stumble on your heels as you purse your lips at Jungkook, “Kook, when we get married I don’t wanna do a whole boy-and-girl party. We’re equals, right?” 

“Of course, baby,” he cooes, being careful not to smudge your makeup when he presses his lips to the crown of your head. “But for the sake of Seokjin’s sanity, you should probably go to Doyeon’s. It’ll only be an hour or two.” 

You gasp exaggeratedly at the blatant betrayal. He only grins cheekily in response, dipping down to press a wet kiss to your cheek. “Fine,” you cross your arms, snatching back your drink from Seokjin’s grasp to knock it down. 

Leaving the bachelor pre-party pains you considerably. They’re having such a good time joking around the suite, telling each other fun stories and relaxing in chairs as they watch TV. This is your kind of crowd, not to mention that you can peacefully check out Jungkook’s ass in those tight dress pants without any crazy club lights distorting your vision.

From past family party experience you already have a feeling what’s coming for you in the ladies’ suite. 

Loud music pours from Doyeon’s suite, and it’s completely unlocked. The bridal party is raving, ten seconds away from being completely drunk and immobile. The lights are being manually shut on and off like some sort of cheap rager, and you have to tell Yoojung to tone it down before you get a seizure. 

The stench of acidic drinks and the tang of alcoholic air is palpable, and instead of a shot you opt for a glass of peach champagne to slow you down. 

As you walk deeper into the suite, you notice a crowd forming by the balcony. Tapping your cousin Nari on the shoulder, you regard her with a hug and kiss. “What’s going on over there?” you ask, heels not helping you see any better. 

Nari’s all blushy and pink, hiccuping as she gestures to the balcony. “Her maid of honor got Doyeon a very special gift!” 

Managing to weave through the women blocking your view, you fight the urge to gag when you have a clear view of the scene in front of you.

You really don’t understand the purpose of bachelor and bachelorette parties. “One night to be single all over again!” they all say, even though they’re not actually single? Like why does the couple suddenly get one night of forgiveness when you’ve already spent years being in a committed relationship? 

Why is it okay that Doyeon’s dry humping a stripper on the balcony? Her white silk dress is ruched dangerously high, soon close to flashing her family. Aunties and friends and the like are cheering her on, and she flips her head perfectly to all the phones shoved in their faces, making sure to get the perfect angle. 

Fighting the urge to roll your eyes, you turn back in the hopes that your other family members would be willing to have a good old-fashioned tip back with you. 

You squeal when your hands accidentally land on a bare, oiled chest. You look up, mortified at the large man covered in black harnesses. “Hey babe, I’m Wonho,” he says, faking a sultry gaze as he looks at you up and down, “you’re part of the bridal party too? Wanna dance?” 

Feeling naked, you push past him, careful not to get anything on your dress. Wonho? Wonno.

Jungkook loves your family. 

(Except Doyeon.)

As much as he told you not to worry about him, and he’ll be completely fine when he meets your family, he couldn’t help be a little wary on the flight over. After all, it’s been two years and he didn’t know how things would be different. 

Chaoticism and all, your family is a thing to be cherished. Even though Yoongi has been on mood swings that make Jungkook question his sanity from time to time, and Seokjin is secretly breathing down Jungkook’s back every time he so glances at you, he thinks things are right where they should be.  

But despite all that they regarded him with familiarity, hugged and kissed him like old friends, something is different. They’ve turned over a new page for him. They don’t bring up Doyeon. They ask about his family, his job, his life in the city. They ask about how you and Jungkook met, and how happy they are for you. How happy they are for him.

Oh, how he wishes everything could be different. In another world, you two would already be together. 

He wasn’t lying back at the cabana when he said you two are the hottest couple at the resort, including the bridal party (but don’t tell Namjoon). You look absolutely stunning in your sparkly red dress, accentuating all the right parts and lighting up the whole room. 

When he finds you in the club you’re sitting down with your Aunties, keeping the elders company while the younger ones are flagging down the bartenders. He thinks it’s cute, how well you fit in between them, coddling you like you’re still a child in their eyes. 

“Dear, your boyfriend is here!” your one Aunt yells over the loud EDM.

You lift your head up quickly, giving him the prettiest smile. Your teeth glow purple under the neon lights, and he fights the urge to laugh when he holds out a hand. “Mind if I steal her from you?” 

“Of course, she’s gotta live a little!” 

You pout, a little wobbly but nevertheless still in the right mind as you shuffle out of the booth to meet his awaiting arms. “Hey handsome,” your voice is thick and sweet-smelling, “come here often?” 

“Only when my girlfriend does,” he replies cheekily, hands immediately coming to your butt to smooth out your dress. He shys a bit when your Aunties hoot and holler at his public display of affection, but all he wants to do was pull the hem down a little bit. No way is he going to let anyone get a flash of your goods. 

“Let’s dance!” you take your hand in his, leading him to a comfortable corner of the dance floor. 

Clubs aren’t really your scene, aligning with Jungkook’s sentiments towards the loud generic music and terrible smell. But you’re in Vegas, and he feels that it’s all part of the package to experience the nightlife at least once. He puts his hands on your waist and you giggle like you’re in prom, hands coming to rest on the collar of his button down. 

“Hey,” he says with a lopsided smirk, “wanna make out?” 

 “Sure,” he notices that you don’t even check if anyone’s seeing, and it makes his heart flutter when you don’t hesitate to get on your tiptoes to meet him halfway. 

He’s always hoped for a moment like this, a moment where the room stops spinning and both your minds click into place. It’s almost comical, how he distinctly notes that the music fades once his lips touch yours. The kiss is hot, yet intimate. Even though he makes excuses to kiss you all the time because of practice, it goes to show that you two definitely never needed it. Your tiny hands grip the collar of his button down, bringing you two impossibly close despite the hot air. His larger hands grip at the strings that hold your measly dress together, grappling at any excuse to get to your soft skin. The two of you are a natural when it comes to each other’s intimacy. 

The two of you pull away, mesmerized. You haven’t kissed like that before. He melts under your stare, his thumb reaching to nick off any lip gloss that’s moved in the process. 

Seokjin comes down the floor to haul you both by the shoulders, “C’mon lovebirds, they’re taking wedding shots!” 

The two of you follow your cousin to the crowd of people that is your family, already with their own drinks in hand. Doyeon and Namjoon are sitting atop the bar, making a very loud toast that consisted of a quick “thank you!” and “we love you!” before downing their drinks with their arms linked together. The room is thrumming with excitement for tomorrow’s festivities, and surprisingly, you and Jungkook included. He tucks himself in your body like a puzzle piece, hugging you from behind while he watches Namjoon’s eyes sparkle with love under the neons. 

The nightclub gets a little blurry after that, with the copious amounts of alcohol and shameless actions from your family and friends. By the time it’s twelve Jungkook notices you swaying at a rate that you can’t handle. He knows your limits and knows when you have to urge to pee every five minutes, it’s time to go. With a chaste kiss you leave him at the bar, deciding to make a pitstop to the bathroom before telling Jungkook you want to head up.

You’re locked in a stall when you hear Yoojung’s voice. 

“Ugh,” she groans, voice echoing through the tiny room. “Jungkook is so sexy. Do you see the way he’s dancing out there? He’s a literal babe magnet, I can’t believe he ended up with someone like y/n.” 

You don’t move a muscle, pressing your ear against the door that hides you. The silly slander isn’t news to you, Doyeon has been feeding her friends all sorts of bullcrap so they wouldn’t bother talking to you. 

“Yeah, Jungkook’s a real treat but he dated Doyeon first. Sounds like she’s into sloppy seconds,” Elly replies, another bridesmaid you’ve met in passing. “But I don’t know, they do look happy together.”

“Please, I’m sure Jungkook’s just using her so he can get one more chance at Doyeon before she ties the knot,�� you bristle, the thought of Jungkook still having feelings for Doyeon makes your heart thud painfully against your chest, “like, what a downgrade. Namjoon and Doyeon do not deserve this drama. If Jungkook ever liked Doyeon at all, he wouldn’t have come. Period.” 

You slam the door open, causing Elly to squeal and Yoojung’s YSL lipstick to fall onto the sink. You’re the epitome of relaxation, walking towards the sink to wash your hands. The bridesmaids simply stare at you, unable to formulate a comeback. When you finally dry your hands, you say your next words. 

“Jungkook is here because he loves me,” an act act act. This is all an act. You shouldn’t be this offended because you know it’s all false. “And you’re wrong. It’s not Jungkook that doesn’t deserve Doyeon. Jungkook was too good for Doyeon.” 

And you slam your heels against the tile, stilettos pounding to the beat of the music. Your exit is full of anger and frustration as you ignore the burn in your step and the ache in your heart, flagging the first bartender you see to get you a double. 

Shot for shot, that anger soon melts into guilt as Yoojung’s words sink in. The thought of Jungkook using you to get to Doyeon is terrible, you can barely stomach the thought. But that’s exactly what you’re doing, right? You’re using Jungkook to get back at Doyeon. 

Why did you even want to get back at Doyeon anymore? Why do you have to prove anything to her? If she just continues to push you around, isn’t that more on her than it is on you? 

Jungkook soon finds you after you’ve nursed a few drinks, leaning unceremoniously against a barstool. His eyes widen at your state, and he immediately sheds his jacket to wrap it around your waist. 

“Why did you drink so much?” he chastises, “it’s the night before the wedding.” 

“Jungkookie,” you warble, clutching your stomach, “I don’t feel so good.” 

He sighs, bending down. “Get on my back. Make sure the jacket covers you up, okay?” 

He doesn’t even grunt when you put all your weight on him, feeling like a ragdoll as he hoists you up. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, letting him carry you to your room. Most of the older family already went upstairs to sleep, so none of your cousins could care less when they see you get hauled away by Jungkook. 

You inhale, he smells like sweat and cologne. “I like putting my head between your neck,” you babble, and you feel Jungkook chuckle through his chest, “you smell so nice there. It’s the bestset! Comfiest place ever, ‘specially when m’sleepy.” 

“Are you sleepy now, baby?” You love how smooth the petname falls from his lips. 

“I will be when we get upstairs,” you reply, happy to see the elevator is empty. “I’m just all up in my head.” 

“Is that why you were drinking so much? You said you were gonna stop earlier.” 

“Yeah, but,” you shamefully tuck your head in his shoulder, “I was frustrated.” 

“Frustrated? At who?” concern laces his tone as he struggles to hold you with one hand and fumble for his key in the other. You tighten your legs around his slim waist until the door clicks open, and he immediately walks over to your bed to plop you down. “Babe, are you crying?” he finally has a good look at your face, horrified to see the streaks of tears mixed with mascara running down your face. 

“I wa-was jealous,” you confess tearily, clutching your face in your hands,  “some girls in the bathroom were calling you sexy and that you were only here so you could try to win over Doyeon. I know it sounds ridiculous and you would never do that but. The thought of you getting back with her makes me so jealous and I hate it! I’m starting to feel so guilty about this, all of this. I put all of this on ourselves and I’m ruining it.” 

“Ruining what? You’re not making any sense.” Jungkook places a hand on your knee, crouching down so he can look up at you. 

“I’m ruining us,” you gush despondently, “I’m ruining any potential of us before we even start.” 

Jungkook freezes, hand clutching your knee like a lifeline. The potential of you two together? You’ve thought of that? Jungkook didn’t drink much tonight, so his mind is definitely running on all cogs. 

Coming to a conclusion, he rubs slow, soothing circles on your knee, his other hand reaching up to wipe the tears from your face. “You’re not ruining anything,” he declares firmly, “that’s impossible. I may have agreed to fake-date you because of Doyeon, but I stayed because of you.” 

His heart aches seeing you so upset, and he decides to take initiative to get you out of your clothing and ready for bed. You don’t have any words, opting to let Jungkook take care of you as you try to calm yourself down. He finds a spare t-shirt,  a long one so you’ll be comfortable. He doesn’t bat an eye when he unzips your dress, in favor of balling up the shirt and getting you clothed as fast as possible. He rifles through the bathroom to find your makeup wipes, and he’s gentle when he scrubs up the once pretty makeup you spent half an hour doing. Barefaced and fresh, you look sleepy and ready to crash. 

But before Jungkook can tuck you in, you clutch his arm.

“Jungkook,” you murmur sleepily, “I think I lo—” 

“I know, baby,” he doesn’t want a confession like this, and he’s sure you wouldn’t want it either. You still look a little green and you’re not sober, so he makes the executive decision to pin these feelings for later. “I’m not trying to invalidate you, I promise. I want you to tell me this, all of this in the morning. We’ll talk then.”

“Okay,” you melt in the sheets, pulling the blankets up to your chest. When you see Jungkook move away from the bed, you jolt, “Where are you going?” 

Jungkook smiles, reaching over to tuck you back in, “I left my blazer in Namjoon’s room. I’ll be right back, okay?” 

He walks out of your room as quietly as he can, making sure to close the door slowly. Once it’s sealed shut, he leaps up, giving himself a silent cheer as he bounds down the hall. You like him back! 

The smile on his face is tired but full of fervor as he makes his way to Namjoon and Doyeon’s suite. He doesn’t even care that he probably has to talk to Doyeon to get his jacket back, thoughts filled with the excitement of his requited feelings and going back to his room to cuddle up with you. 

He doesn’t even have to knock when the large double doors swing open. Dumbfounded, he looks down at Doyeon, wearing a tiny black nightie and dangling his jacket with one finger. It’s an outfit that leaves nothing to the imagination, and he feels his neck heat up at the feeling he’s encroaching on an intimate moment. 

“You left this,” she says slowly, a tiny smirk on her lips. 

“Uh, thanks,” he says, making sure not to touch her when he grabs his blazer. 

In her other hand she holds up her room’s designated ice bucket. “Could you also get me some ice, please? Namjoon’s fast asleep and I really don’t want to walk out all… exposed.” 

He swallows his sigh, knowing it’s going to take significantly longer to get back to you when Doyeon drawls like this. “Of course,” he replies tersely, “after all, you are the bride.” 

“Thanks, Jungkookie.” 

He makes quick work of getting Doyeon the ice, pumping his long legs down the hall. The ice room is cold and cramped, barely enough for his tall frame to fit in. He jabs the container in the holder, pressing the button ten times per second to get as much ice out as possible. 

As soon as he turns around with the ice, he drops the whole bucket. 

Like glass, it shatters onto the ground, hundreds of little clear pebbles skimming across the floor like marbles. Doyeon’s pushing Jungkook against the ice machine, freshly manicured hands splayed across his chest. Her body is flush against his, making sure that he feels all of her with her thin silk gown. 

“What the fuck, Doyeon get off of me!” a little part of him hopes she’ll come to her senses on her own so he doesn’t have to put his hands on her. 

“C’mon, Kookie,” her voice is a sickly candy sweet, her eyes wide with hunger as she takes in his form, “just one more night, you and me. Like old times. One more night before I tie the knot.” 

“You’re crazy,” he balks, running his hand through his hair, “this is sexual harassment, do you know that?” 

“You don’t mean that, Kookie,” Doyeon dips a red-tipped nail down his chest, “why settle for someone like y/n when I’m right here?” 

He grabs her wrists, firm. She winces at the contact, but doesn’t say anything when Jungkook delivers her a scary glare. It gets her quiet, fearful of this version of Jungkook. Doyeon’s never seen Jungkook like this before, so unwilling to bend at her whim and emanating all his power against her. 

“Why settle for your cousin?” he whispers like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “because, I love her.” 

Her lip curls in disgust, nails digging into the palm of his hand. “But you loved me first.”

“And I’ll love her last,” he spits pack, letting go of her. His anger splits for a brief second, regarding Doyeon with sorrow, “this is low, even for you.”

Jungkook pushes past the ice, wobbling out of the ice room. He doesn’t look back, he just knows that he needs you right now. He needs to tell you everything, figure out a plan to cancel the wedding or something. 

But when he crashes inside the room, you’re dead asleep. He can’t find the courage to wake up Seokjin as well, who returned and is sleeping in his club outfit. He groans, feeling useless as he stares at the two of you, ignorant of what just conspired ten minutes ago. 

And Namjoon, what is he going to tell Namjoon? Poor guy doesn’t deserve any of this. 

Walking up to your side of the bed, he tucks your loose hair behind your ear. You look so peaceful now, so beautiful. 

It’s just going to have to wait until the morning. 

The morning of the wedding, you wake up alone. 

The first thought that runs through your head is that Jungkook has rejected you. The little, insecure bug that will never go away in your brain fills you with rash thoughts. He’s on a flight half way back home and he regrets this whole week. 

But after that exaggeration, you notice two aspirin and a bottle of water on your nightstand, along with your phone that’s fully charged. 

You pull up the screen to check the dozens of messages that flood your app. 

Jeon Jung-boo-thang: morning babe, im sorry i had to leave early. Namjoon showed up at our door freaking out that his suit is the wrong fit and shade. Now im running around vegas trying to find a replacement that doesn’t look like an elvis presley extra

Jeon Jung-boo-thang: but i didn’t forget what you said last night, i promise! Just go get ready and i’ll meet u at the chapel outside the resort. 

Jeon Jung-boo-thang: i also have something to say to you

Jeon Jung-boo-thang: wow i didn’t realize how ominous that sounds. Dw, everything will be fine

When someone tells you something will be fine, it’s a universal agreement that no, things will not be fine. 

So you get dressed, and put on your makeup mindlessly. You don’t really know what to make of Jungkook’s cryptic message, but you decide to leave those thoughts in the back of your mind as you go to the other rooms to help your family get ready. 

Seokjin is busy tying the ring bearer’s tie, looking handsome with his slicked back hair and polished grey suit. “Morning, cousin,” he sing-songs, “you look beautiful today!”

You smooth out your dress, a cascading silver number with starry sparkles. You feel like you’re living out your magical girl fantasies, wrapped up in layers of tulle and a sparkly sweetheart bodice.

“Right back at you. Say, you didn’t see Jungkook this morning, did you?” 

“No, but I heard he’s with Namjoon hunting for a new suit. Why?” 

“Nothing,” you lean against the guest table, “he just said something really ominous over text.” 

“I will never get a peaceful day so long as I’m in this family,” he says this directly to the ring bearer, a toddler who’s obviously confused at his uncle’s weird sayings. 

Your phone beeps conveniently, displaying Jungkook’s name. 

Jeon Jung-boo-thang: just got his suit. We’ll be there in fifteen. Meet me at the garden behind the chapel, please. It’s urgent 

Now you’re just worried. So you tell Seokjin your sentiments, and that he should have his phone on hand in case you needed him. With a confused nod, you leave him to go down to the garden.  

The groomsmen and bridesmaids are already at the chapel taking pictures. Only the wedding party is really allowed at this time, but you manage your way through the gardens virtually undetected. Jungkook’s already waiting for you, hiding under a white gazebo overlooking the hotel’s fountain. 

He looks gorgeous in his all black pinstripe suit, hair pushed back and pants fitted perfectly around his waist and thighs. When he sees you he gets up, full of skittish energy. You note that his hair isn’t even styled, only washed and curling slightly at the ends, as if he’s in a rush.

“W-wow,” he marvels when you rush up to him, “you look gorgeous.” 

You drop the handful of silver tulle, letting it fall to the floor. “Jungkook,” you clasp his hand in both of his, guilt flooding your eyes. You’ve been thinking about this all morning, and you need to cut to the chase. Jungkook tries to open his mouth but you silence him with a finger on his lips. “I can’t—I can’t do this. I know this sounds really stupid and you probably don’t want anything to do with me after this, but I shouldn’t have made this elaborate scheme,” you bite your lip, feeling even more antsy as Jungkook squirms in his grip. He however, is trying very hard to focus with his eyes, confused at your sudden confession. “I like you, Jungkook. I don’t want to parade you around like a revenge plot anymore, it isn’t fair and it’s wrong in so many ways—” 

“That’s great,” he says simply, brown eyes swirling with thoughts, “um, ditto. But—”

“Wow,” you frown, “I pour my heart out to you and this is what I get?” 

“It’s great that you want to be selfless right now,” Jungkook takes your hand, firm and tight, “but without this elaborate scheme, we wouldn’t be saving asses like we are right now.”

“What are you talking about?” You thought Jungkook rushed you down here so you could talk about each other’s feelings before the wedding. 

“Doyeon just threw herself on me last night. I got her ice and she took that as an invitation to seduce me like an episode of Sex and the City. Namjoon needs to divorce her, like yesterday.” 

Your face then morphs into something dark and ugly, and you fling your whole confession out the window. The thought of Doyeon going as far as throwing herself on Jungkook as a last ditch attempt to get back at you, has you seeing blood red. “What? Why didn’t you tell me this sooner!”

“You were asleep!” he shoots back, putting his hands on your shoulders. He rubs warm strokes up and down your bare arms, “please relax. You’re shaking.” 

“And why didn’t you tell Namjoon when you were driving around all morning?”

“I tried to!” he retorts, hands swinging in the air. You huff when his hands land back on your shoulders, preventing you from running to the chapel to extract Doyeon out yourself, “but he just kept talking shit about how much he loves Doyeon and he can’t imagine being together with anyone but her and I felt so bad! I’m sorry I chickened out. I really don’t wanna be the one to break Namjoon’s heart. I’m just the plus one!” 

You pinch your brows, mulling it over. “Fuck it, let’s crash a wedding,” you declare, “where’s Namjoon and how can we get him alone?” 

Jungkook exhales, a hand carding up to loosen his thin silver tie. “He’s taking pictures with the groomsmen right now. It’s gonna be awhile before we get a chance to talk.” 

“Fuck,” you curse, sitting down on the white bench. Jungkook presses soothing circles on your back. “We have no choice, we have to get to him before the ceremony starts.” 

“You’ll have to get through me, first.” 

Doyeon’s not even in her wedding dress when she strides up to the two of you. She’s in ballet flats with her hair and makeup done, but the only thing she’s wearing is the thin underdress of her actual ball gown, a simple silk negligee that reaches her ankles. You don’t even know how she’s managed to escape the bridal party, especially without her dress. 

Feeling protective, you step in front of Jungkook. “Before you say anything,” you murmur, “I’m not ruining your wedding, and I never wanted to. You’re ruining it because of your mistakes.” 

“Oh, boo-hoo,” Doyeon rolls her eyes, playing with her nails, “I didn’t even do anything wrong, everyone knows that on the bachelorette’s night she can do whatever she wants. Namjoon could’ve fucked whoever too if he wasn’t so faithful.” 

“Namjoon is ten times the partner you are and would never do that,” You’re seeing red, unable to comprehend the complete garbage spilling from Doyeon’s lips. “You touched my boyfriend without his consent, and I will never forgive you for that,” your voice is scarlet, angry and thin. 

“It’s not like he isn’t used to it, I—”

“NO!” the sound that comes out of your mouth has all three of you flinching, and you’re thankful the gazebo is far enough so that the rest of the wedding party is oblivious to your actions. “You’re not allowed to justify yourself anymore, Doyeon. What you did was fucked up, what you’ve done to all of us is fucked up!” You realize now that you didn’t need to get back at Doyeon with a fake date, what you needed was this. You needed a reprieve, a chance to lay down your law. “Jungkook was right all along. You are jealous. You’re jealous and selfish and have no shame. You think you own whatever you set your eyes on, but you’re wrong. We’re not objects, we’re people.” 

You walk up to Doyeon, eye to eye. You jab a hand at her chest, pushing her back slightly. You soak up your cousin’s expression, and you watch as Doyeon’s eyes pop out in surprise at your act of boldness. “So you have a choice here. You can either swallow your pride and leave Namjoon at the aisle quietly and save whatever dignity you have left. Take your pathetic ass on the next flight back home and pack up your apartment. Or, we can start a big scene at your ceremony,” you probably look manic, filled with freshly injected power, “I know Seokin’s always wanted to yell ‘I object!’ at a wedding.” 

“You have no proof,” Doyeon glares right back, taking a step closer to you. Your noses are practically touching, but you dig your heels in the white-stained wood, puffing up your chest and standing your ground. 

“Doesn’t matter,” you bite back, “what matters is that Namjoon will doubt you. Namjoon knows we’d never do anything to sabotage a wedding without a valid reason. Even if you do get married tonight, we have Jungkook’s word and proof of a relationship that overlaps with his. I find this option to be far worse because it’s prolonging the inevitable,” you shrug, “I hope you two didn’t sign a prenup.”  

Hot, angry tears mess up her meticulously done makeup. Black rivers carve through her porcelain skin, showing the feelings that have been dormant since been hidden under a facade. Doyeon’s eyes dart back and forth between the two of you. She’s practically vibrating in combined fear and rage, seeing blurry images and memories and regrets of what could’ve been if not for her self-absorption. And finally, your cousin comes to a decision. 

“I hate you,” she emphasizes each word with the most concentrated of venoms in her tone. WIth one last look at the two of you, she stomps away. Instead of going to the direction of the chapel however, she takes the shortcut back to the hotel. 

Her grave words are unsurprising, but nevertheless disappointing. A thinly veiled smile grazes your lips, sadder than ever as you watch your cousin go. “And I pity you.” 

As soon as she’s gone Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to scoop you up, hugging you tightly as you fight the urge to cry again. “Oh babe, that was really hot. The way you stood your ground? That was amazing!” Jungkook takes out his silver pocket square to wipe the stray tears that threaten to ruin your makeup. “You’re so strong, don’t you know that? You did it and I’m so proud of you.” 

As much as you want to revel in the affection, go back and bed and fall asleep until noon, you can’t.  Grasping Jungkook by the hand, you tug him to the chapel. “C’mon,” you say, “we have to corner Namjoon.”

The groomsmen photos are done by the time you get there. Thankfully, the to-be-groom doesn’t look too occupied. His eyes widen upon seeing you two stumble from the garden of all places.

“Oh, y/n. Jungkook,” Namjoon tilts his head curiously at how winded you two look, equally flushed and out of breath. From your state, Namjoon muses that it must've taken a lot of effort to finally get to the groom unattended, save for a few random family members he’s making small talk with, “The wedding isn’t for another hour but I must say, you two look radiant together. Doyeon always thought you’d end up an old spinster-catlady, but I always told her that you’re too beautiful to be single for long,” he pauses to send the aforementioned man a wink, “Jungkook’s a lucky guy. What were you two doing back there?”

“Uh, things?” Jungkook scratches the back of his head, not wanting to reiterate the fiasco between Doyeon moments before.

Namjoon smirks at the ebony-haired man, “Couple things?”  

You can’t take this needless small talk anymore. With a teary groan, you throw yourself at Namjoon. You hug him tight, and you don’t even care when you feel a slosh of his water bottle sprinkle your hairstyle. 

“Joonie,” you bemoan, “please, please don’t leave me. You’re the best not-cousin ever. I know it’ll be a pain to face Doyeon after today but you’re a strong independent man and when you’re ready Jin is single and ready to mingle—ow! Jungkook! Did you just pinch my ass?” 

“Do you really think setting him up with the next cousin is the best idea right now?”

“I figured a little humor would lighten the blow,” you sulk.

“I’m sorry what—what blow?” Namjoon frowns, pushing you away from him. “Y/n, have you been crying?” 

The tears resurface at that moment, like a kettle on overboil. Namjoon’s face is knitted together, unable to grasp at any conclusion. Namjoon feels something grave is upon the sky as he tenderly brushes away your tears with his thumbs before releasing you. Instantly Jungkook pulls you to his chest, patting you soothingly. As much as you two do not want to be the bearer of bad news, the time is now. 

“Namjoon,” Jungkook says, finding the strength that was previously stuck in his throat, “we have to tell you something.” 

Needless to say, Las Vegas is very forgiving when it comes to last minute wedding cancellations. 

The whole wedding party, both Namjoon and yours, collectively feels like a whole ice bucket has been dumped upon your families. You would like to say that the whole issue was handled mess free, but that would be a bald-faced lie. 

There was screaming, crying, hysterical laughter from all sides. Doyeon’s parents were of course furious, embarrassed, unable to calm down a hysterical Doyeon as they haul her on the next flight home. You have a feeling they won’t be showing up to family events anytime soon. 

Namjoon’s family leaves quietly, frustrated, but classy. After all, they know at the back of their heads they dodged a bullet. Everyone leaves except Namjoon however, who isn’t quite ready to go back to his and Doyeon’s apartment. Namjoon invites Seokjin and some other close cousins to stay in his suite until their flight tomorrow afternoon, wanting to be surrounded by close friends and (almost) family. 

As for your family, they decide to find the silver lining. While the chapel was able to cancel the wedding, the reception wasn’t as easy to sway. At the very last second, your grandparents decided to make use of the reception and renew their Golden Anniversary vows instead. The ceremony will be a quick, sweet affair. At this very moment, your cousin Yoongi is getting officiated online. 

And for you? You’re in the place where you’ve wanted to remain all week. A fluffy hotel bed wrapped up with your not-boyfriend. 

Or? 

Would a not-boyfriend be snuggling against your chest like you’re the softest teddy bear in the toy shop? Would a not-boyfriend be hooking your leg atop his lap, forcing you to latch onto him so his hands can roam freely against your soft thighs? 

“We have to get ready for the wedding,” you whine against his hold, to no avail when he only holds you tighter. 

“But your grandparents are already married,” Jungkook whines right back, nuzzling his nose in your head. “This is like an afterparty fifty years later.” 

“I wanna get dressed,” you insist, pushing yourself up, “and we still need to talk.” 

Without Seokjin staying with you, the hotel room feels much bigger and freer for the two of you. Your clothes are scattered on the floor, uncaring of any wrinkles or smears that would get on the delicate fabric. 

All that matters is that Jungkook is still here with you. Doyeon’s wedding is called off, but he’s still lying in bed with you. You want to burn this image to memory, and keep it forever. Jungkook laying in only his white undershirt and boxers, looking at you dreamily as if he’s still in nap-mode. Hair that was previously windswept and exposing his forehead is now out of place, fluffy and sticking out in all directions. His cheeks are flushed with coral-colored warmth, and a little puffy because you two have been sleeping most of the afternoon. 

“Right, talk,” he repeats, letting you hand him his black button up so he can clothe himself. 

You throw off your shirt somewhere behind you, not wanting to face him as you walk to the full-length mirror. “So, I think my feelings for you are pretty clear and out in the open…” 

“Same, I think I made it pretty clear as well.” 

“What? You turn around, looking at where he’s still half-covered in bed. “You did not. I distinctly remember almost confessing my love to you last night. And then this morning, only for you to cut me off and say ‘that’s great’.” 

“Oh,” he stares at the white sheets that cover his lower half. “I guess I didn’t then.” 

You smile wryly, turning back to face the mirror so you can slip into your dress that’s been pooled around your ankles like a silver halo. “Maybe you thought it in your mind and forgot to tell me.” 

That seems about right. Jungkook has a tendency to be a little too passionate for his own good, windswept in thoughts and feelings until they consume him. He hops out of bed, walking only in his dress shirt and socks as he makes his way to the mirror. “Then let me do all the talking,” he says softly against your neck, hands on your hips. 

You shiver when you feel the cold silver of the zipper whirr up your body, Jungkook’s large hands splaying across your back to smooth out the waistline. 

“You of all people would know that being with Doyeon is a trip,” he chuckles into the crook of your neck, “I thought that was what love felt like. Being codependent, jumping through hurdles, trying so hard to please someone who can’t be pleased.” 

Jungkook’s hands wrap around your waist, hugging you tightly. He squeezes you and holds you like the most precious thing in the entire world. Through the mirror, you two are quite a pair. 

“But with you, I never knew love could be like this, feel like this.” 

“So… are you saying you love me?” you fight the urge to bounce around in his grip, the biggest smile on your face.  

“You really just want me to say ‘I love you’ and be done with it, huh?” 

Within seconds he’s pulling you from behind, whirling you around to the edge of the bed. He manages to flouce up your skirts to billow around his lap, sitting you down on his bare thighs. 

“You look like a cupcake, all sprawled up like this,” Jungkook says cutely, peppering kisses in a trail from your chest all the way to your lips. “You look like a huge, silvery cupcake and I love you. It’s so easy to love you.” 

Maybe it was kismet that Jungkook didn’t get to you first all those years ago. Maybe the right time is right here, right now. 

“I love you, too,” you say happily, dipping down to press a long, passionate kiss to his lips. He tastes like love and a happy future. When you pull away, you encapsulate his face in both your palms, regarding him like the sun and stars. “But you know, if we date you’ll never get away from my crazy family.” 

Jungkook snorts, pressing his forehead to yours, “And miss Yoongi re-marrying off your grandparents tonight, the next year of Seokjin and Namjoon running circles around each other, and a lifetime of happiness?” his hands snake under your dress, finding purchase in your soft skin, “not a chance.” 

[kaissauce]

okay, phucker, do it

ok let's do this @rolli-zolli @ninikins

Horrortale: technically an alternate timeline instead of au. after a neutral run where undyne's queen the core malfunctions and food becomes scarce and people resort to eating humans because sans suggested it. Aliza is the protag. latest thing that happened in the ongoing comic was Aliza agreeing to go with Papyrus to solve his last puzzle. as for the appearance of sans he has a HUGE hole on his head and a red eye. he got the hole from undyne when she got his magic eye which was going to be used to power the core. sans didnt die tho and killed the guards holding him down and just took whatever eye was on the ground and used it as a replacement for his magic eye that's powering the core. i quote first words he said after putting the eye in his socket "who the fuck took my phone?". then the magic eye went apeshit and broke the core again. oh and also he made alphys braindead by quite literally scrambling her brain. yeah this au is rough sans hasn't really eaten anything since the core was destroyed since he decided not to eat any humans.

Dusttale: i think this was originally a korean au? basic rundown: too many genocide runs sans goes apeshit and tries to get his Lv up by killing monsters himself man went fuckin insane kills his brother blah blah blah edgy angsty au the ghost of papyrus haunts him n stuff. sans literally just looks the same except he has his hood on and sometimes artists draw him with papyrus's scarf. the cool artists draw him with his hood on and has the hood completely cover his face so u can only see his glowing pupils. although people call him dust sans he's actually named murder sans

Killer: so frickin similar to dusttale except sans goes apeshit because of the human being like "join me lmao". three different outcomes come from this. i think it was 1 sans joins human 2 sans joins human kills human later on 3 kills human or something. friends with color sans who is basically his impulse control. pretty sure his soul's fucked up and Color sans tries to make his soul un-fucked but Nightmare comes in and fucks up the progress. he has white shorts, his eye sockets are constantly pitch black and leaking tar or something also has a weird target thingy on his chest. OH YEAH ALSO HE HAS BEEF WITH UNDERSWAP SANS ALMOST FORGOT. basically swap sans tried to make killer good and then they had a fight, swap sans lost and was on the verge of dying thankfully swap papyrus was able to save him in time i think

Dreamtale: Dream isn't in the drawing but his brother, Nightmare is. Sooo he used to not look all goooy and have tentacles n stuff but then he ate a couple hundred apples and yeah. he's six years old apparently. Nightmare and Dream are supposed to be guardians of a tree that has 500 golden apples and 500 black n goopy apples. the golden aples are positive and the goop ones are negative. you're not supposed to eat either of them cus bad shit happens. Dream and Nightmare live in a village and for whatever reason they're all dicks to Nightmare because ooughh he's the guardian of negativity that's not baller. he also goes apeshit (do u see a pattern here) and eats a goopy apple n then becomes the goop man he is today. he fuckin eats 999 apples jesus christ. and the last one is eaten by Dream because if u eat all 1000 apples u become unstoppable and immortal. so that would be a bad thing if nightmare got the last one. wop wop wop these dude aren't sanses they only have the body of one if that makes sanse.

Error: manlet. he's literally an error and that's why he's like that. also he's technically not a sans now, the redesign for him was so that he could be in the creator's webcomic named Lucidia. Error sans, aka the destroyer of aus, finds aus to be mistakes so he tries to get rid of them. his process of doing this is simple: get the human soul to the void so that they can't reset, destroy the au. he primarily attacks using his strings which can wrap around one's soul and control them. he like some aus like outertale because of how open and empty it is. he likes to be alone and has haphephobia. if u touch him he'll glitch out and possibly crash. he crashes whenever gets overwhelmed. said crashing causes him to shut down and reboot and he's powerless while doing so. he's actually pretty easy to beat if you know how to push his buttons the right way. in the og ask error blog made by his creator Loverofpiggies he kidnaps Swap sans who tries to help Error become a better person. this ends horribly as error leaves Swap sans in the void who then becomes an error aswell due to being alone in the void too long. Error actually regrets doing that to swap sans

Aftertale: OK FUN FACT THE SANS OF THIS AU, WHO'S NICKNAMED "Geno" IS ERROR. aftertale is a comic made by LoverofPiggies it's been SOOOO long since i last read it so i cant really give a good summary. but anyways Geno is trapped in the loading screen with the human and will die if he leaves the loading screen. eventually from being in the loading screen for too long after the events of aftertale he becomes Error.

OOF WOWIE THERE'S SO MUCH TO GO

Underfresh: he's not even a sans either. "Fresh" is a parasite inhabiting a skeleton. his birthday is on 4/20 which is ironic cus he doesn't like drugs. he censors swears. he speaks 90's lingo and dresses like a neon sign. for some reason he has eyebrows and a gold tooth. the glasses he has can change text but normally defaults to "YOLO". he can't feel anything since he has no soul of his own and just latches onto the host's. instead he learns how to act from the people around him. not being able to feel actually bothers him a LOT

Echotale: Aka Gaster sans. uhhh this one was also a comic if i remember correctly. basically Frisk and G!Sans are the only ones in the au and they're trying to find the core to fix the fucked up timeline that they're in but the core keeps changing positions so that sucks.

Swapfell: originally made by Khhoppang who left social media. Started out as an Alphys x Undyne au so only those two were designed but Kh was planning to design more of the characters. before they could people had a field day with the idea of mashing two aus together and SO many people came up with their own designs for sans and papyrus. Khhoppang left social media because they got overwhelmed with all the art reposters and stuff, pretty sad. the appearance of the sans in that au is the purple one with a scythe (i dont think he has a scythe in the og design).

Swapfell Red: so basically this is the swapfell made by people that isn't Khhoppang. community made per se. Sans's appearance changes constantly because as said before many people made many different designs. typically he just looks like Swap sans but with red high heel boots and his color scheme fits underfell

Fellswap (gold): Au made by blackggggum. so swapfell is underswap turned fell, fell swap is underfell swapped it takes a bit to understand that. his appearance is somewhat similar to Swapfell red. He's kind to his friends but if ur his enemy he'll fucking deck you. he's blind in his left eye, the leader of the royal guard, and secretly into dressmaking. fun fact in this au Papyrus has autism

Xtale: uuuuhhhh so Cross is a complicated one. he's part of the royal guard along with papyrus. has beef with xgaster. responsible for the downfall of his au and then Underverse happens and Ink is all "oh cool someone to mess with" and they became friends for a bit then shit hit the fan

Underfell: OOOOO YES UNIRONICALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITES. So Underfell sans is actually a very powerful mf and constantly has his magic eye activated because he has so much magic. This au is also technically an alternate timeline where monsters "lost their humanity" as the creator put it. so basically trust in the underground is scarce. Sans and papyrus, contrary to many interpretations i fucking hate, are actually on good terms (and no sans doesn't call papyrus "boss" the creator said if he does he'd do it ironically and papyrus would hate it). Fun facts he pays Grillby in socks (grillby accepts the socks as payment and wears them), if u make grillby laugh he gives u a jacket that looks like his and it's heavily implied that sans made him laugh because their jackets are similar

Underswap: ah yes another classic that i love as well. originally made by PopcornPr1nce who fled social media because they hated how the majority fandom treated Underswap (Blueberry and Carrot were popular names for the fanon swap papyrus and sans). Swap sans is constantly infantilized by the community which sucks and i hate it so i draw my own very super cool version of him whom i kin because i am also very super cool.

Outertale: mainly an aesthetic au pretty sure there's no comic of it. basically, instead of underground they in space. outer sans dies in underverse after like minutes of screentime lmao

Epictale: a comic made by Yugogeer. the og comic was retconned and the creator loathes the original version and made a reboot that's much better. Sans actually dies very early in it because Yugo hates how Sans is almost always focused on in aus. also the creator hates how meme-y their sans has become (like him saying bruh every single sentence, using a rubber chicken as a weapon, cookies, etc.) he's friends with Cross but not in canon. He has a purple magic eye that makes him immortal and i think only epic gaster could remove it which is how sans was able to be killed when he fought gaster.

Temmietale: it's undertale but everyone is temmie, don't question it

Trainertale: it's undertale but it's Pokemon, don't question it

Dancetale: it's undertale but you dance instead of fight, don't

Mobtale/Mafiatale: im unsure if mobtale and mafiatale are separate or not but they are very similar. basically undertale but mafia it's self explanatory

Undertale: no clue which au is this one, nope not at all/j

Bittytale or whatever idk: so take sans, make him small. boom. never understood this au

THAT BASTARD INK: HOOO BOY SAVED THE WORST FOR LAST. FUCK THIS GUY/j. THIS DUDE. IS THE REASON IM STILL INTO UNDERTALE AUS. I LOVE EM SO MUCH. also technically not a sans. He comes from an unfinished au and ripped his own soul to escape said au and became an outcode. for so long he was just a soulless husk until someone drew him and he got splashed with paint which let him feel. soon he learned to keep the paint in vials so that he can be able to feel 24/7. And then he learned how to create things with a paintbrush and the paint and spent time alone drawing up his own world until a portal appeared and took him to the multiverse. now he encourages artists to keep creating aus. he's the protector of aus in the sense that he keeps other outcodes from disrupting the script of the au, so if it's pacifist and an outcode tries to kill people he'd stop them, if it's genocide and an outcode tried to help them he'd stop them. no matter what he wants the au to stay on script. fun fact the creator of ink and the creator of error never had them interact with each other in canon, that was all the fandom's doing. Contrary to popular belief he's not really considered "good" his alignment is officially "Chaotic neutral". I personally interpret him a lot more chaotic than in canon because it's fun but he's a pretty chill guy actually. he can just be a bit of an ass sometimes. According to the creator of Ink (who is Comyet) his interpretation in Underverse is not canon compliant. one of the biggest canon things that underverse contradicts is Ink deliberately not taking his vials. if he were to do that in canon he'd become a husk again which is the equivalent of him "dying". he was described as a walking corpse by Comyet, without the vials he can't function anymore. Like Error he's pretty easy to beat if you know his weaknesses. also he has fears of empty spaces and being alone

off topic kinda but i very much love how Error and Ink are opposites yet parallel even though they were completely written without the other in mind. Error believes getting rid of aus is getting rid of anomalies. Ink believes people interfering with aus are anomalies. Error loves emptiness, Ink hates emptiness. list goes on it's funky fresh.

also uhhh sanses missing from that drawing that i can name from the top of my head

Seraphim sans, Insans, Dusttrust, He who shall not be named because he's from an 18+ au, Swapswap (yes. that exists), Storyshift, Inverted Fate (very good au i suggest checking it out), Negatale, Oceantale, Template, Pale, Mafiafell, Farmtale

my phone is at 9% y'all are spared from me going on

[cassyapper]

thoughts on part 5 characters? especially part 5 pol 👀

OHHHH THANK U SO MUCH FOR SENDING THIS IN <3 i will try to be brief (<- me, lying)

since u mentioned him in particular, lemme talk abt part 5 pol first (:

polnareff p5: i actually did like seeing him but i wish he was more relevant or at the veyr least we got to see him longer before he got nerfed by the second worst jojo villain. regardless of that tho i did like seeing how he matured even if it does make me sad cause you dont see any of his silliness/lightheartedness anymore..it's all serious and grim..): which i do mostly attribute to the fact we only see him in part 5 in the midst of a tense battle but still. i do think it goes to show pol lost some of the humor he found in the world...... ):

giorno: i understand why ppl have beef with him but i love giorno he is such a funny little guy <3 he's this insane teenager with a god complex but he's not an asshole about it like say his dad was. he's just very confident in his own abilities even when he has no experience (like when he fought bruno lmao). i do like the first half of giorno more than the second half tho if only cause the second half seemed to forget he was a kid and let him act as such. and to an extent i get that like gio is an abuse survivor ofc he's gonna act "mature for his age" but he still did that while being silly funny in the first half but in the second half they drained that away. honestly im sure this is more a david pro problem than a giorno problem im sure if i read the manga it'd be better. but as it stands this is it. anyway i love gio i think he's fun at least my perception of him

bruno: i do like bruno but he's not my favorite admittedly (not for any particular reason he just didnt scratch my brain the way other characters did). i do like him tho he feels very cautionary-tale to me...he has such a warped world view due to being involved in gang shit since he was a kid and it hurts ): you can see him try and save his past self in his early interactions w narancia...some part of him knows he was dealt and unfair card. but other than that tho he does deliberately lead ppl to the gang like fugo and abbachio (not necessarily to hurt them but really fucked up how some people he thinks are better than this life and some he drags down with him...) and i just think that's interesting to think about. he's not a saint but i think he thinks of himself as one or at least it's what he's trying to be. god his catholic guilt has gotta be nuts. he did love his team but i dont think bruno knows how to care for people...he's a soldier, a captain, it's what he's been for so long, i dont think he knows how to stop seeing everything in that lens (we esp see him struggle with this in trying to be a mentor figure for trish because he's used to having like boss authority over the people he mentors, but he doesnt have that hold over trish so he needs to learn how else he can guide her without relying on her Having to listen to him). it's so sad ):

abbacchio: i do not rlly think abt abbacchio i gotta be real. i dont lean one way or another. i think he can be very funny tho. i wish we saw more of his interactions with trish and narancia since theyre the two (besides bruno) he's clearly the softest for in the gang. also i do ship bruabba but i wish ppl would lay off the codependancy angle a bit...yes bruno is definitely abbacchio's crutch but i dont think he (abbacchio) would be happy about that, he hates that he forces bruno to care for him like a child and he hates that bruno is willing to feed that dynamic (not that bruno has like conscious malicious intentions behind that but. again he doesnt knw how else to help ppl without having some sort of authority over them and this dyanmic gives him that so). anyway abbacchio has potential to be the funniest gang member but it wasnt utilized in the story very well. sad!

mista: i also dont think about mista much i am not gonna lie. i dont rlly care abt him not by fault of the narrative he's just not the kinda character i fall for i guess.

narancia: fucked up meow meow! i love naranica he's such a funny guy. he's so needlessly violent and crazy but also he's very cheerful and silly it's so fun <3 his death was complete and utter bullshit. i love how everyone on the team + trish loves him so so much cause its representative of my feelings. he's just so loveable what with his absolute insanity. <3. i dont think narancia is a necessarily deep character but that's okay i dont think every character needs to be. it's enough that he's a funny crazy little guy who loves a good warm meal and swinging his pocket knife around <3 also he's a very loyal and kind friend. also congrats to narancia for having the only good localized stand name (lil bomber is sooo cute and fitting)

trish: TWISH MY BEST FRIEND TRISH so unpopular opinion she should've been the part 5 main character. i know it ruins the joestar bloodline thing but well then maybe they should've put giorno in her situation cause it was a great set up. at the very least she should've been the one to finish off diavolo not GER. anyway god i love her pink <3 anyway i love that she's a scared 15 year old but she's also a tiny bit vain and blunt and just gosh <3 points for depicting a 15 year old girl fairly decently esp in a shonen running in the 90s. she's very sympathetic i feel like u rlly feel for her. she just wants to be safe. she just wants the gang to be safe she didn't ask for them to die for her. she didn't want anyone to die for her. i think endlessly about her survivor's guilt and how she and polnareff bond over it. ugogugh. i love her stand too i really really really wish we got to see more of spice girls UGHH.

fugo: FUGO MY BEST ABSOLUTE FRIEND FUGO. i love fugo i have loved him since his lil giorno team up episode with man in the mirror i love him so bad and purple haze feedback really just sealed the deal god FUGO <3333333333 I LVOE YOU FUGO. FUCK. god idk i just love his duality a lot...he wants to learn how to be gentle but all he is is sharp corners and fire and angry angry angry angry at his family angry at bruno angry at himself angry but they're miles away form who he is can he really change enough? can he even change at all. also he loves bruno and he loves the team and he wants to be better for them but ssnjsjnsd;s; UOGUGHGHHHHH FUCK GOD AR EYOU KIDDING ME. i love purple haze and the whole conflict fugo has with him and how it relates to himself...also i love protecting my own experiences and . i guess trauma? for lack of better word i love projecting my own trauma and experiences onto him because. well. similar setups is all i wall say </3. anyway i love fugo i love that he returns to the team and fights for his redemption i love him i love the bonds he had with abbacchio/bruno/narancia/GIORNO. FUCK. i love him. he's my best friend.

diavolo/doppio: second worst jojo villain behind part 8's. i hate him he's so dreadfully fucking boring. the only reason he's not worse than part 8's villain is at least he was foreshadowed from the beginning. but he's just super lame and not interesting (like pucci) or fun to watch (like kira/dio). i don't even care about the endless death cycle because i do not care about him! not even in a love to hate him way! he does not matter to me. so fuckign stupid

most of la squadra i do not give a shit about but

risotto: i like him <3 i wish we got to see more of him. his stand was fucking awesome. he cared about his team so much ):

pesci: awesome guy. pretty cool. best la squadra member by far. his face off with bruno was awesome

okay I'm ending there cause this got long but thank u for asking dude! it means a lot <3