#and i was fucking shaking

[peplark-writes]

Hello, everyone!

I haven't posted original content in a long time. To be honest, I never really posted original content consistently. (And that's okay! That's not something you have to do, it's just something I'd like to be doing.)

Something I realized early on with my new therapist is that I have a lot of trauma surrounding finishing and sharing creative projects, especially written ones. We decided my first step in healing from that would be to write up a little booklet of 20 poems, and then share them. So, over the past few months, that's what I did!

I've formatted them in such a way that you can print them front and back and fold them into a little booklet! I've made it available to download on ko-fi (pay what you want, but you must donate at least $2 to access my transgender trauma). If I know you and we've talked before, you can message me here or on discord and I'll send you a copy!

If you've gotten this far, thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy!

[i-will-not-be-caged]

I feel like we need to talk more about how fucking boring depression can be. I pick up a book and can’t read more than a few sentences, a chapter if I’m lucky, before I can’t focus. I knit two rows of something and then can’t continue. I scroll through all the different options of shows I haven’t watched without clicking on any of them. I hop from app to app looking for content that will spark literally any single emotion. It’s not even 10am and I already feel like I’m just waiting until it’s time to go back to bed.

I hate it I hate it I hate it

[indigo6f00ff]

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

[mossy-aro]

sometimes finding aromanticism in media isn’t literally about aromanticism… sometimes it’s about the deconstruction of love as a concept and the subversion of its perception as inherently humanising. it’s about the decentering of romance as a driving force in the narrative. and also sometimes it’s about love being central to the narrative but in a way that defies all traditional categorisations of romantic / platonic / anything else. it is the secret third thing yet so much more and less at once. the point is aromanticism is everywhere for those with eyes to see

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

not "i ship these characters" or "i want them to bond platonically" but a secret 3rd thing (I want them to be forced to interact by the Narrative bc they would HATE that)

[frownyalfred]

in the realm of like, rich kid problems, I want to someday read/write a fic where Nightwing is slowly establishing himself as a full-fledged JL member and everyone is relieved because finally, there's a nice Bat on the Watchtower who doesn't just shoot down their plans and deny their mission requests. but. while Nightwing is kind, and polite, and charming in all the ways the Bat isn't, he's still Dick Grayson. and Dick Grayson grew up as a very rich kid's suddenly very rich kid, which is to say while Bruce might not take it personally, Dick has been fending off people almost his entire life who were trying to use him for his Dad's money. which is to say, I think once Nightwing is on board and the relationship between him and Batman is at least somewhat well-known, there is suddenly a rush of younger, less-experienced members trying to take advantage of Nightwing, mistaking that kindness and openness for willingness to either voluntarily, or involuntarily, infringe upon and cross Batman's clear-cut boundaries. bribing Dick for a better monitor shift with Batman is one thing (it doesn't really work, Dick can't bribe Bruce with much as it is) but trying to convince Nightwing to lie to Batman? to go against him? his dad? the man who pulled him up when he had nothing and gave him meaning again? that man?? and then comes the inevitable, chilling realization, that while Nightwing might wear a different mask, might wear an open smile on the Watchtower and with friends off-shift, there are some lines he won't cross, same as Bruce. he won't, sure as the sun rises and the rot rolls off the Gotham Harbor in the morning.

[cinderduck]

Get this mirror OUT OF MY HEAD

[starry-bi-sky]

on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.

Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.

Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.

Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.

There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.

[basket-of-loquats]

oh crowley, nothing lasts forever.

no. no, i suppose it doesn't.

[Image ID: a digital sketch of the Crowley and Aziraphale kiss from Good Omen Season 2 Episode 6. End ID.]

[mushramoo]

Do you understand how scary it is to wake up and realize over half the people in your country voted for someone who wants you to die? How far gone is this goddamn country that we legitimately voted in a 34 time convicted felon with a fascist guide book WHO TRIED TO OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT instead of the capable adult. This is so depressing

[n3rdy247]

i shifted. I ACTUALLY SHIFTED

IT REALLY WAS THAT EASY??? HHAGAHDHHFH???

[mag200]

you know another thing that sucks about the tiktok white cottagecore sadgirl irish bogman treatment of hoziers music is it really ignores how many of his songs are for shaking ass

[hussyknee]

my disabled ass, after (1)good day: "obviously I am cured. in fact it may have all been in my head. who can say? now to rejoin society!"

me, the next day: "it has come to my attention that i may be chronically ill."

[darkmuffinstudios]

I love hole dwelling a normal amount

[the-holy-ghosted]

god i miss when this artist posted (<- is the artist)

[alloverthegaf]

on episode 5 of Squid Game 2 and watching Gi-hun come to the realisation of the microcosm he's fighting in real time - the pitfalls and propaganda of capitalism, the "you can build your dream if you just work harder", the desperation to succeed overcoming their desire for everyone to survive. Everyone recognises the faults, the danger, the gamble of what they're participating in - the lotto over the bread - they know some will not fare as well as others. What's more they know in order for them to win, they know more people have to die. But they still willingly participate, not because they're evil, or blind, or lack empathy - but because they think they have no other choice. They allow themselves to become complicit and justify it by saying it's for their own survival.