#and i was dealing with an identity/gender crisis

[theclosetedskeleton]

Im going to be so serious here I think november-december 2022 was literally one of the lowest periods of my life

[zlobonessa]

hm. i feel like I'm not unhinged enough for the past few days. here's my old-but-reworked omegaverse headcanon tier list.

[sillyxaly]

Do you have just have an identity crisis on the waitlist?

Like no can do buddy I already have someone to figure out and theres exams so you gotta wait until one of that is handled.

Just got no room sorry bud.

[phantomram-b00]

Y’all I tried to steal a character’s gender but instead they just consumed me instead and is putting me in a chokehold and will be stuck with me forever. I’m not complaining at all.

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

man I really would love to see an (explicitly) religious companion on Doctor Who. esp one who's written in such a way as makes their faith relevant to the storylines and challenges and tests it but ultimately remains respectful and keeps the theme of it relevant within the specific science fiction setting that Doctor Who occupies. I personally just think that would be great.

[mychemikuromance]

Ruh roh..

[artekai]

AHHH THANK YOU FOR YOUR TAGS ABT THE DOODLE I MADE!!!! I use they or he interchangeably but u can do w/e u want lol.

OF COURSE, THANK YOU AGAIN, IT MADE ME SUPER HAPPY TO SEE!!!! :D You deserve the appreciation! ^^ You definitely opened my eyes to all the possibilities, hehe. I think he/they Beta is a very based take :D

[rayvern-sheep]

hmm

feel like I've lost myself somewhere but not sure where and what to do about it

[confetti-critter]

How can anyone even figure out their gender/sexuality with all the outward and pervasive transphobia, misogyny, transmisogyny, homophobia, lesbophobia, etc. Etc. Etc. That the world throws at everyone 24/7?

Why do I feel like "I can't possibly be __"? Is that from internal or external forces? For people who figure it out for themselves, is the feeling that they Are stronger than anything negative from society at large?

It's all a big mess. I don't feel like much of anything. Maybe I feel like "figuring it out" would bring far more pain than I am currently able to handle.

[morningglory1]

Nobody:

Me: Hi! I was wondering, can I just borrow you sexuality real quick? Thank you, biiiiiiiiiii

Somebody help……….

[anystalker707]

Do i want to be you or fuck you

Pairing: Sam Monroe x [gender-neutral] Reader Summary: sam never had to deal with another alternative person around, so you're giving him a hell of an identity crisis. Tags: kind of enemies to lovers / sam in a crop top / reader leaves lipstick marks on his stomach

MASTER LIST

Sam didn’t know how to deal with that situation because he never had to, but now seeing someone steal his attention didn’t please him. He wondered if he was punk enough, though it was a stupid thought.

Fuck’s sake, though. Sam was the one who would attract attention all around and cause rumors because of his style, and he wondered if he had lost his effect. Black clothes, chains, studs, and alt music were his thing, so he didn’t see why some of his friends were running to you to ask your opinion about the new Slipknot album.

Your makeup, clothes, and accessories were always on fucking point. Sam hoped you wouldn’t notice how he was staring. No, it wasn’t about how beautiful you looked, laughing, chatting with whoever with a can in hand, sometimes dancing lightly to the song of the shitty local band in that stupid venue. It was at your shirt, wondering how the fuck you’d managed to get a tour-limited shirt like that. Of a band he liked. He was sure you didn’t even understand the meaning behind the songs. Your favorite album was probably the main one, and you skipped the underrated songs only because they weren’t that popular. That shirt would probably look better on him, anyway.

“You just came here for nothing? To sulk there?” Josh cut through his thoughts, annoying, as always.

Sam’s gaze met yours, but he quickly averted his eyes to the small stage and the group moshing in front of it, taking a drag from his cigarette. “Shut up.”

“What?”

“Shut up,” Sam scoffed as he shook his head, taking a deeper and faster drag from his cigarette, holding back the cough that tickled the back of his throat as the smoke burned down his throat.

The wall behind Sam dug into his shoulder blades, the faint ache spread through his back from how long he had been standing there. He didn’t like that band—he knew the bassist had been in a class with him in the second year of high-school, but he could barely listen to any instrument aside from the guitar and under the vocalist’s exaggerated vocal fry. The venue wasn’t all that good either. Not like the band would be able to afford one.

Going there seemed like a good opportunity to get high and drink, but the moment Sam saw you, his excitement fizzled away, giving in to that bitter feeling.

“Fuck off,” Sam made sure to say to Josh, ignoring the complaints muffled by the bad cover music while walking off to a spot where you couldn’t see him. He lit another cigarette, watching the glowing red lines trickle closer to the filter with the drag he took. His throat burned, and he became a little more lightheaded, though it didn’t hit so strongly anymore. Maybe he could save some money to go to a real concert next summer. Get good merch.

Even with the dubious background, Sam still got a cup of energy drink with cola and vodka at a stand, only able to take a few sips of it before he lost grip on the cup, even more so given the moisture that accumulated around the cold cup, and it went straight to the ground, spilling some of his drink on his shirt. His cigarette fell right into the puddle. He whipped his head back, scowling. Of course, it had to be you.

“Oh my fucking god,” Sam exhaled sharply, motioning to his ruined shirt—at least the short-sleeved one on top.

You raised your eyebrows as your eyes skimmed him up and down, shaking your head with a soft sigh. “Not my fault that you suddenly stopped walking in the middle of the way. You could’ve at least walked off to the side or something.” Your gaze fell to the cup on the ground. “It wasn’t any good, after all. You wasted money the moment you bought it.”

Sam mirrored your expression mockingly before he looked down at his shirt. He tugged on the hem so that it wouldn’t cling to his skin. “You really suck, y’know that?”

“Just take off the wet shirt, since you got another one under it,” you said as if it were obvious. His mouth opened and closed a few times, but Sam didn’t say anything, only shaking his head and making you sigh. “Come on. Do you want a spare shirt? Or will you keep stinking alcohol and get sticky until you get home?”

As much as Sam wanted to argue, you had a point. He could hear his mother complaining already. Right before he could say anything, your hand was around his wrist to pull him out of the way, away from the risk of having another drink spilled on him, even if not his own.

“I can buy you a shirt from the merch stand as an apology,” you said.

Sam followed your gaze to the shitty merch stand selling ridiculous handmade merchandise. That band definitely needed a new art, and he definitely wasn’t wearing any of that stuff. The sneering air in your words made annoyance boil under his skin, but he did not want to give you the satisfaction of knowing your effect on him.

You laughed. “I’m being serious.”

Well, he wasn’t doing enough of a good job of hiding his annoyance, but again, how could he? Sam took a deep breath. “You’re ruining my night,” he grumbled, tugging his shirt over his head, trying to avoid the wet parts.

“Oh? Me? I didn’t even do anything…” You trailed off, observing his shirt come off to reveal that the undershirt was, in fact, a long-sleeved crop top that stopped a little above his abdomen. It wasn’t even wet, since the drink had only spilled on the bottom half of the shirt, where the crop top did not reach.

Sam held the shirt in his hand, and the words died on his tongue when he noticed you. He gritted his teeth. “Do not look at me like that.”

You blinked a couple of times. “Like what?” But you didn’t even have the shame to look at him in the eyes, continuing to observe the pale skin of his stomach, which contrasted highly with his dark clothes and the happy trail that disappeared into his low waist shorts along with his v-lines. You finally looked him in the eyes, but it was just for a couple of seconds. “Like what?”

Many things ran across his mind, but none of which Sam could actually voice. Looking at you itself was hard. “Come on,” he muttered and cleared his throat. Warmth prickled his cheeks and the back of his neck. “I didn’t think I’d have to take my shirt off.”

“Well,” you exhaled—that look was enough to make his whole body tingle, “you shouldn’t even have chosen to wear it, in the first place. It’s not cold tonight, and your fit looks way better this way.”

When did you step closer? Sam gulped, his eyes scanning your face, the dark eye makeup and that almost black lipstick which he only knew the real color because of how it would reflect a metallic, deep red glint when the light managed to hit it, something that hardly happened, given how it was a gig in such a fucked up venue. He gulped, his fingers tightening around his shirt. How was he supposed to answer that?

Sam looked down for a moment, hoping it would clear his mind enough for him to be able to chain at least two words together coherently. “Well, you should give me your shirt instead, actually.”

You chuckled. “Are you envious of it, or do you want to see me shirtless?”

And he felt like dying inside again, groaning in frustration when your words made his skin heat up once more. Damn it. You were insufferable.

“Either way, it’s a no,” you added. “I—”

“You’re a fucking poser, why’d you have that shirt?”

“I’m not a poser!” You scoffed. “I was there!”

“For the opening band?” When you glared at him in return, Sam felt a certain pride swell in his chest. Now the tables had turned. “Nuh-uh, doesn’t count, my bad. It’s so annoying.”

“How long do you spend analyzing me daily? Do I have to think, ‘how does this affect Sam?’ before I dress up every day?” You crossed your arms over your chest, and part of Sam hated himself for enjoying that annoyed look so much.

Sam shrugged. “You really think you have that much of an impact on my life?”

Your hard look continued despite the deep breath you took, tilting your head. “I mean, you don’t give me many reasons not to think so.”

Raising his eyebrows, Sam hummed in fake amusement. “If I’m being honest, it feels more like it’s the other way around,” he said, his hand moving to play with his belt, and of course, your eyes followed as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. A grin tugged on Sam’s mouth, widening when you let out a string of curses under your breath, and he shrugged, running his fingers along his lower stomach lightly, about to step away when your hand wrapped around his upper arm.

“You can’t just do that and leave me here like this,” you said with a glare.

“Do what?” Sam raised his eyebrows. The upper hand was his, after all, finally. Something stirred inside him with that look. He sighed, playing with one of your necklace pendants, an electric guitar. Fuck, he wanted that. He wanted everything you had, maybe. Everything you were. Having your attention, the closeness, your scent was so good.

“You think you’re hot stuff, right?” You scoffed. Your grip loosened a little, thumb rubbing circles into his arm.

Sam hummed faintly. “I have many reasons to think so,” he said with a shrug, his eyes falling to your lips for a second, and you fucking returned the gaze. How miserable could you be? He bit his lip, a finger hooked on your necklace to pull you closer until your breath fanned over his face. “Though, I might want a little something instead.”

You clicked your tongue. “Ugh, Samuel.” You turned your face right when he leaned in, in a way he ended up pressing his nose to your cheek instead. Should he feel embarrassed or glad about it? He clicked his tongue, squeezing your waist with his free hand.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Okay, babe,” you said, and his skin tingled again.

“I hate you so much.”

“Well, I don’t think you’ll hate what I’m about to do, yeah?” You didn’t give him time to breathe a word before you pulled him towards another spot, near the alley, without anyone, only illuminated by a flickering light post and stinking of a piss and drinks mix, and the music felt a little more tolerable now that it was slightly muffled.

Sam felt like complaining and cursing again, but he held himself back when you sat down on a wooden box and held him in front of you, fingers hooked in his belt loops. He looked down the alley, observing nothing in special. “What the fuck are you going to do? I swear— Nngh!” Sam moaned. He immediately whipped his head down, eyes widening when he saw you kiss his exposed stomach. Your lips were warm. They lingered against the skin, then you kissed another spot, then another.

Sam’s skin rose in shivers, and he could feel his blood rushing south. Your breath fanned over his skin; you were leaving lipstick stains everywhere, the dark marks contrasting with his pale skin—it shouldn’t feel that good. He didn’t even know he was so sensitive on his waist, or down his v-lines.

His knees went wobbly, so he held your shoulders tightly, unable to tear his eyes away from you, but it didn’t compare to how weak he felt when your eyes held his gaze, while you tugged his waistband down just a little so that the kiss mark disappeared into his shorts. It felt like your lips were pressed there forever, but it was over too soon. Your lipstick was already faded by the time you pulled away, slightly smudged.

Ground was put under his feet again, and Sam suddenly felt hyper-conscious of everything. “You’re gonna kill me, but I really hope to kill you first.” Sam tugged on your arm so that he could pull you up to your feet and kiss you on the lips, not caring that his shirt fell to the ground while he held firmly onto your hips, managing to pin you to the wall after some wobbly steps. He wasn’t aware of how much he craved you until now. The messy wet kisses made a shiver run down his spine, and his shorts grew even more uncomfortable, feeling way too tight. Your teeth tugged on his lip, and adrenaline rushed through his veins.

You smiled against Sam’s lips, kissing him back with the same enthusiasm. Your hands cupped his neck to pull him closer—he moaned into the kiss and pressed his body flush to yours, and the kiss was only broken because your lungs ached for air.

“Fuck,” Sam breathed as he nuzzled your neck, trying to process the chain of emotions and sensations that you had given him.

A breathless chuckle escaped your lips. The warmth of your body was replaced by the cold night air when you stepped away, looking down at your work on his stomach with a proud grin. It gave you a sense of ownership over Sam. “You look so hot.”

Sam quickly wrapped his arms around your waist again, kissing your neck more. He craved it now. “I’m looking forward to more of it, hm?”

⋆°｡⋆🎧🎸★ 𝖇𝖆𝖉 𝖗𝖊𝖕𝖚𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 ★🎸🎧⋆��� °⋆

[nesaluvstherecoms]

𝐆𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐒𝐢𝐱.

ᴍᴀɪɴ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ʀᴇᴄᴏᴍ ᴄᴏʟᴏɴᴇʟ ᴍɪʟᴇꜱ Qᴜᴀʀɪᴛᴄʜ x ʀᴇᴄᴏᴍ ᴍᴀᴊᴏʀ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ꜰᴇᴍ. ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: Y/N, a military prodigy, raised and trained in the Marine Corps, opens her eyes to a new life as a Recombinant. Her purpose is one and one only; being General Frances Ardmore’s right hand in taming the frontier in order to set up humanity’s future home on Pandora, including eliminating resisting natives. There’s only one problem; Y/N’s predecessor has never been on Pandora. Despite this challenge, Y/N seems to face a bigger issue. She’s surrounded by incompetent idiots. The biggest idiot in question seems to be someone among her own ranks. Miles Quaritch. Even with his rank as a Colonel, Quaritch still manages to screw up his biggest mission, ruining Y/N’s and Ardmore’s hard work in the process. With it being her job, Y/N has to find a way to go about this incompetent asshole, including dealing with his unchecked attitude, inability to successfully complete a single mission, impulsive decisions and his absolute lack of professionalism. Miles on the other hand wishes this damn woman would just die. She suddenly appeared one day, charmed Ardmore, got promoted to Major General, and now she thinks she can steal all the authority he had on base, run her rude ass mouth, give him shit about every single mission and boss him around like he’s her personal bitch? Who the fuck does she think she is? They both thought the natives would be their biggest enemies, but with each other among their own ranks, they’re starting to change their minds.

ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴛᴀɢꜱ & ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: minors DNI, enemies to lovers, dark themes, warfare, guns, typical military violence, heavy sexual activity (smut), forced neural bond (tsaheylu), identity crisis, death, injuries, PTSD, etc.

ᴀᴅᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ:

This is an enemies to lovers fic.

Y/N and Miles are both comfortable with engaging in sexual activities with the same gender.

Kind of a slow burn.

There are a lot of OCs because I needed more Marines and RDA personnel.

The male Na’vi in this fic have sheath folds because you cannot tell me those fuckers have their cocks out and their crotches are still flatter than my kitchen table.

For chapters with smut, dark themes or heavy triggers I will add warnings.

Recom logo header and dividers are mine, please credit if you use them.

This work is also on AO3, under the username: @nesaluvstherecoms

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐰. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐: 𝐙𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐝𝐚𝐫���� 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑: 𝐄𝐬𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐬

✮ ᴜɴɪᴛ ᴀʟᴘʜᴀ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴀᴛᴀ ꜱʜᴇᴇᴛ ✮

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒: 𝐒𝐒𝐃𝐃

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟓: 𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐐𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐭

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟔: 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐄𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟕: 𝐆𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐀𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐭

𝐼𝓃 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝑔𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓈…

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Steve and Eddie totally made out at a party once. They just didn't know it was with each other. It was at a party and it was dark. The older teens were hanging out, drinking at Steve's when Robin asked the question.

"Best kiss of your life, go!" Robin exclaimed.

"Nancy," Jonathan admitted, but his eyes slid briefly over to Argyle.

"Jonathan," Nancy and Argyle said at the same time. Nancy looked over at Jonathan.

"We were high," Jonathan said.

"It was at Tommy's party. It was dark. I don't know her name, but man, could she kiss. She had this soft curly hair. I couldn't see her face, though," Steve said. "Wish I knew who it was. Best kiss of my damn life."

"You know what's odd. I know exactly what party you're talking about because I had my first kiss there, too. It was in the kitchen, in that little nook. This guy really knew how to kiss. It was fucking dark so I couldn't see anything but I felt like he had great hair," Eddie said.

"Yeah, that's where we kissed. In that nook. Man, we must have just missed each other," Steve laughed.

"Unless. . .," Robin trailed off.

"What?" Steve and Eddie asked.

"Steve, did you happen to get to second base with this girl?" Robin asked.

"Yeah, why?" Steve asked.

"Did she have boobs?" She asked.

"No. It was weird. I asked her what happened to her boobs and she just giggled," Steve said.

"Oh my God!" Eddie exclaimed in realization. "When the guy I was kissing asked me that, I thought he was just being funny! That was you! You were my first kiss!"

"Oh. . .hmm, I guess so," Steve said. "Still the best kiss of my life."

"Even though it was with a guy?" Robin asked.

"Yeah, I still liked it," he said. "Huh, I guess I don't care what gender they are. I just like kissing. I wonder if sex is the same way. Hey, what's that word you told me about Robin? You know, where you can like both?"

"Uh. . .bisexual?" Robin asked.

"Yes, maybe I'm bisexual," Steve said, snapping his fingers cheerfully.

"Did you just have a sexual identity crisis without panicking?" Robin asked.

"Yeah, it's no big deal, right?" Steve asked.

Meanwhile, Eddie was watching the whole thing with a strange expression on his face, and then his face relaxed into a smirk.

"Best kiss of your damn life, huh? Do you mind if I try to one up myself?" Eddie asked.

"Not at all," Steve smiled.

Argyle cheered, and wolf whistled as Eddie crawled into Steve’s lap to kiss him.

"Get it, my man!" Argyle exclaimed.

[that-ari-blogger]

"Eda, do you have kids?" (Eda's Requiem)

The Owl House is a series about identity and the freedom to express oneself the way they wish. It explores the ways in which that affects relationships with others and oneself. Self-image, mental health, love, all fall under this bracket. This is partly why I would refer to The Owl House as a queer story rather than just a story with a queer protagonist. It engages with the concept in a nuanced way that I think is interesting.

The Owl House is also about family. The theme was present at the beginning, but it was very much a background thought. However, season two examined this idea in a ton more detail, through the Golden Guard, through Amity, and even through the side characters.

But the single best part of The Owl House is its ability to weave themes together. Family and identity are parts of each other. A family is a group of people with a shared identity, and a persons sense of self is usually defined by their experiences with their family. That is why found family is a part of family, it’s not about blood, it’s about connection.

This duality is directly the cause of my two favourite episodes in the show, Reaching Out, and Eda’s Requiem, the latter of which deals with a crisis of identity and a juxtaposition of past and future.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD (The Owl House)

How does Eda define herself?

That is a question that grows more complicated over time. She is the Owl Lady, the most powerful witch in the Boiling Isles, which is a neat thing have while it remains true. However, she stops being that at the end of season one, and still clings to the moniker, why?

“How did you become the Owl Lady with your stage fright?”

It’s a persona, an act that she puts on to impress everyone, including herself. It is an identity that she wears like a mask, and who would know more about wearing masks than Raine Whispers.

I’m going to take a brief moment to talk about my favourite little detail in the series, and I give all credit to @Idlescreee’s video, Names in The Owl House: Breakdown and Analysis, which pointed this out to me.

I am one of those people for whom silence makes my skin crawl, and so I like to put on music or white noise while I work. One of my go to sounds is that of rain, I am literally listening to it as I write this post.

So Raine Whispers is a quiet name about the beauty of nature and the quietness of a natural sound. Perfect for a bard, right?

Well, not exactly. Context gives meaning more than anything else, and Raine’s context is the Boiling Isles, in which the rain is acid, making a hissing sound as it destroys everything in its path. Raine Whispers is a name that refers to the fury of nature. It is quaint at first glance but could destroy you if given the chance. A fitting name for a spy.

In any case, the purpose of Raine in this episode is to provide a contrast to Eda, they are someone from their past who has changed a lot since the two last met. Raine is unconditionally the wisest character in the series, and their ability to read people is unrivalled. So, they can see through any illusion she throws up.

They are also the first named non-binary character in the series, and it is a neat piece of storytelling that a character who’s sense of identity involves not being confined by binary gender would be against a villain who runs on categorising people. It’s not dwelled on, which is a strength of the show’s normalisation, but it’s cool, none the less.

The mirroring of Eda means that the audience can notice the two’s similarities more easily. Most importantly, Eda has also changed, although not as much as she thinks.

I am going to bring back the concept of a lowest common denominator style of character analysis. Essentially, a character can be boiled down to a single concept that cannot be changed for the character to stay the same person. The character can switch up their entire identity, allegiance, or even body in some cases, but it is this attribute that keeps them recognisable.

For example, Hunter is brave. He switches up characterisation almost entirely over the series, going from the Golden Guard to the most precious boi over the course of two seasons, but he keeps the fact that he is, at all times, bone numbingly terrified, and still able to persevere. Hunter is brave.

Eda, meanwhile, is complicated. She is an agent of chaos, but she brings stability to the lives of everyone she is close to. She is against authority, but that is an allegiance rather than a descriptor. So, with the full understanding that this is inaccurate, I will say that Eda is free.

Again, this is inaccurate, and oversimplifying, but it’s the best I can come up with. Eda is unabashedly herself, and the primary conflict of this episode is trying to work out who that is. So… Eda is Eda? That’s unhelpful but hold onto it for a moment.

The episode itself follows an opportunity to live the good old life with an old friend, and Eda jumps on it. She is growing distant from Luz and King, and she doesn’t quite understand why this upsets her as much as it does. She has become a parent without even realising it.

So, she takes the chance to go with Raine, chasing the high of connection and creating the persona of Mama Eda, although that is where the analysis gets weird.

Maternal and paternal behaviours are different across cultures, but they are usually not specifically necessarily reliant on gender. Yes, they are linked by association (it’s part of the words), but it’s not intrinsic.

Case and point, in the culture that I read this story from, Eda is absolutely terrible at being maternal. So she doesn’t try to be, instead, she fills a ton of paternal roles in the lives of those around her. But it’s also inaccurate to read her as entirely paternal. Instead, she fits both roles, leaning further into one, but not entirely.

Essentially, Eda parents in her own way, and struggles when trying to live up to “the right method” of doing things. Eda is Eda. She excels at doing her own thing. Trying to define her as one archetype is reductive and misses the nuance of her character.

What I think is really interesting, is that Eda realises she has become a parent when the story essentially threatens to take her family away, and she is surprised by how she feels.

While I have my opinions on the fake out, it is an effective way to see what the fear of loss does to a person, or rather, the fear of unimportance.

Being a parent is about guiding your children, but its also about letting go. Eventually, every bird will eventually leave the nest. However, that doesn’t mean the relationship is over. People still need guidance, even as adults.

Eda is willing to throw her life away as a last-ditch effort to help her family without having to say goodbye. She doesn’t think they need her anymore, so she is willing to go out with a bang. But she is wrong.

Eda clings to the instrument, even as it kills her. She thinks that love means dying for the people she cares about, but that's not entirely true. You have to live for them as well. I wonder who else in the series could learn that lesson.

A rhapsody is a musical piece associated with strong, enthusiastic emotions. A requiem is about remembrance. Raine’s song is about hope, and the joy of a future yet to be. Eda’s is about a past well lived, and the memory of that love. If you put the two together, you get a song that can bring down a mountain.

“Eda, do you have kids?” “Uh, they're not mine-mine. Well, it doesn't matter. They both have real families to return to.” “I don't know what you're running from, but a great witch once told me... something about punching fears in the face? What I'm trying to say is don't give up so easily. They probably need you more than you realize. We can find another way to stop Belos together.”

Remember what I said about Raine being wise? This is that.

Raine teaches Eda that she is still needed. She lets Eda know that her purpose isn’t gone, its just different. You are different people all throughout your life, you just need to remember what you have seen, and change with the times.

Why is the line read of this girl realising she's back in the conformatorium so heartbreaking?

I also want to point out the fear of insignificance from a found family perspective. Eda thinks that her relationship with Luz is less valuable than their blood relations, but I don’t really believe that. Eda has taught Luz magic and sheltered her from a literal dictator. She has raised King from childhood. I think those are pretty important things for a family member to do, whether through direct relation or not.

In the resolution of this episode, King changes his name to be an official part of Eda’s family, which, sure, that’s how things work in the Boiling Isles.

“Surprise, Eda! Now we're connected for life, and there's nothing you can do about it!”

She’s a parent now, and that relationship is as important to king as finding out who his biological father is. In other words, Eda still has a purpose, and the fact this surprises her means that she has a lot to learn, but she is better at it than she thinks.

One last thing I want to talk about before I go is that Raine is a unique rebel. Usually, in stories about fighting an authoritarian regime, the cost of rebellion comes up. This is the conceit of Andor, but also part of Wicked, and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. In these stories, the idea that one person must use the tools of their enemy. Not as bad as their opponents by any stretch of the imagination, but sacrificing their own morality in a small way for future generations.

Raine doesn’t do that. Raine is fighting for a better world, and at all times, they will sacrifice their plans to save the individual. Raine has plans in motion that can counteract any single “failure”, but crucially, preserving the world they want to protect is never a failure to them.

So, in summary, found family is just as important as blood family. More important in some cases. Eda has built her identity around being a parent without realising that is what she has been doing, this episode is her confronting that. Raine is cool. Defining people is difficult and takes away from who they are as people. The Owl House is a good show.

A Kikimora is a creature associated with sleep paralysis. So her ability to paralyse people is a neat thing, as well as that "night night" line.

Final Thoughts

This season has a string of episodes that are determined to break me, but I will stay strong. Through The Looking Glass Ruins, Hunting Palismen, and now this. But I’m fine, I’ve got this.

Eda’s Requiem is one of my two favourite episodes in the series. I can’t gush enough about the music, the pacing, the purpose seeking. This is so compelling, and it really works as a piece of storytelling.

The episode does have one flaw, in my opinion, and to me, this is an example of how one weird piece of direction can mess with my suspension of disbelief. The extended syllable whenever anyone says “legally” in this episode is so… off putting. It’s like King is expecting to be cut off, and it’s asking for Eda to misunderstand him. It’s such a small detail, but the episode is almost perfect otherwise, and this sticks out to me like a sore thumb.

The episode is still phenomenal though, and so to balance out my criticism, here’s a small detail I really liked. When Eda punches the guard, his head spins around 360 degrees. First up, the casual worldbuilding that this guy can do that but also the fact that the outfit doesn’t react that much to it means that it has been made especially to fit his anatomy. That’s a cool detail.

Anyway, next week I’ll be looking at Knock, Knock, Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door, which is a Hooty episode. Something fun, and entertaining. I’m sure nothing plot relevant will happen then, right? Right?

Stick around if you want to see my analysis of that chaos.

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[flyingcatstiel]

I’m currently reading superbat fics (sorry, destiel, stony and dinluke, I’ll get back to you some day) and I’m having great time with commenting and authors replying to me. It’s a whole new fandom experience when I can read fics just for personal enjoyment, without planning fic rec lists. So much easier to comment, wtf. Anyways, I’m following 4 superbat identity p*rn fics right now, and it’s glorious. What a feast. My favorite trope, so many interesting ways to explore it. Happy holidays to all superbat writers but especially those 4 WIP writers🎄

ETA - here be some recs

ETA, March 2024 - HERE BE SOME UPDATES!

@pinkb00bsocks asked about those 4 WIPs. Here they are! The usual disclaimer - there are plenty of excellent superbat WIPs going on right now, but I've limited spoons and these are the ones I currently enjoy.

The World and All Its Hedgehogs by Ginevra_Benci [M. 8,007 word count, WIP, 4/?] To investigate illegal arms sale taking place at a tropical resort hotel, Batman goes under cover as a vacuous billionaire Brucie Wayne and Superman takes a part time job as a porter. They didn't coordinate this, they don't know each others civilian identities. Every time they talk there are at least 3 different conversations going on and it is glorious. Also, so much lust. ;)

(Also, check out Interviewing & Counceling series by the same author. Clark is having a superhero identity crisis and Bruce is there to catch Clark gently as he spirals down. It has one of the softest identity reveals in superbat fics. ETA - the series is now complete, it has 5 parts and 18k word count. Awesome ending to the softest identity reveal story)

Watching Our Stars Align by ClarkeStetler [M, 28,840 word count, WIP, 7/14] There's a dating/chatting app only for superheroes and all identities are secret. What could go wrong? Bruce and Clark get matched under their new pseuds, and same happens to Tim Drake and Conner Kent. Now fathers and sons gotta navigate complicated relationships that come with secret identities and judging your coworkers hastily while talking heart to heart to anonymous superhero. The identity porn part happens through DM, which just happens to be another favorite trope of mine. [The story is going strong, it has 10/14 chapters now and a wonderful tangle of 3 secret identities!]

(Love) Triangles Have Multiple Centers by frozenpotions [T, 27,281 word count, WIP, 4/10] This fic wastes no time getting playboy billionaire Brucie Wayne and pining-after-his-coworker journalist Clark Kent together. After that, first time uneasy partners Batman and Superman gotta solve a case and their civilian selves gotta deal with the realities of their one night stand. Complicated doesn't even cover it! [The fic is being updated and Clark and Bruce are being put through new trials, 6/10 chapters]

A Favor for a Friend by RedFive [Explicit, 18,286 word count, WIP, 4/7] Omega verse fic with alpha playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne and omega journalist Clark Kent. I'm fascinated by dominant, flirtatious, sexually ravenous alpha Brucie Wayne who moonlights as a stoic, covered in scent blockers thus unclear second gender, Batman. Meanwhile omega Clark, due to being Kryptonian, is much less ruled by his second gender. That is, until he meets Mr. Wayne. This fic has so much lust and tension between the two. Does accidental heat triggering counts as a soulmate mark? I'm gonna count it like that. [The fic has entered the finish line, only a chapter or two are left to finish this wild, explosive, life changing story of two people who were meant for each other. 8/? chapters, 44k word count] The fic is now complete!!! 9 chapters, 56,153 word count. (Also, there's this new TV show about two gay dudes, and istg, they look like Bruce and Clark from this fic. I'm not naming it here because I don't want to highjack the show tag with superbat post, but go and check the tag on tumblr)

*****

And a special shout out to two identity shenanigan WIPs that are not actively updating but are absolute must reads.

ship-to-ship combat by pomeloquat [M, 62,737 word count, WIP, 12/13] OK, so, for me personally, this is the ultimate identity p*rn fic across all fandoms I've read so far. This fic has one of the highest amount of secret identity pairs in superbat fics. There's the usual pining silently Batman/Superman, then there's Clark dating Bruce, Superman saving Bruce Wayne from peril, Clark Kent chatting with Batman. And the cherry on top is Clark writing Bruceman fanfic which is basically a RPF of his two friends, Batman and Bruce Wayne. Which leads to an internet friendship with a fellow fan, who is, you guessed, Bruce. This fic has great reflections on fandom and shipping culture. But the very beating heart of this fic is about how easy it is to lose something you wished to have but were afraid to ask for. The fic, at 12/13, is technically a WIP, but the main reveal is already done, and it is glorious. ETA - THIS IS NOT A DRILL, the fic is finished and the last chapter is a super meta cherry on a top of delicious, layered superhero identity and fandom shenanigans parfait. 13 chapters, 76,7k word count.

10 Things Every Brucie Fan Needs in Their Life by pomeloquat [T, 8,956 word count, WIP, 5/10] The main premise of this fic is hilarious and yet so, so right. Bruce Wayne is promoting himself as a nation's boyfriend instead of a playboy, and is making bank out of his wholesome, PG rated merchandise. The chapters of this fic tell continuous story but they also can be read as separate vignettes, so there's really no cliffhanger. This fic is so soft and fluffy, it will heal your soul. Also, Superman has celebrity crush on Bruce Wayne. Batman is amused.

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Okay guys, you've convinced me lol, here's the gist of the Kim/Porsche idea!

The Kittisawats are a rival mafia family led by Porsche

When Kim is ~18, instead of running away to college, he sells himself to Porsche to be his sex slave. It's surprisingly wholesome.

This happens bc Kim discovers Tawan's being sketchy. Kinn doesn't believe him, so Kim tries to find more evidence, only to learn Korn is also involved (not directly, but he makes it very easy for Tawan to find secrets to sell, and be the snake he is). Kinn doesn't believe Kim about this either, but now he's angry bc Kim is trying to tear down Tawan and their father, while he's blinded by love and respect for both.

So Kim runs straight to Porsche

The conditions for his deal: Porsche gets Kim and everything he knows, as long as Porsche protects him from his father, swears not to hurt Kinn, and takes care of Tawan. Kim just wants to keep his family safe. But he knows he's just become a traitor, and his father won't let that stand. So. He's stuck with the Kittisawats. (It's not a hardship. He's honestly treated so much better by Porsche, feels more free as his slave than his father's son, and isn't that fucked up.)

At this point, Porsche isn't sleeping with men yet. There's some interest but no follow through. But Kim is offering himself up, so like. That's what he's supposed to do, right?? That seems like the thing to do. Because Kim's his sex slave now. So they should have sex.

Neither of them have any idea what they're doing. Kim's being heavily influenced by Vegas' psychotic stories of his sex pets, so that's what he expects from Porsche, and that's the role he's trying to fill. Porsche is just going along for the ride.

(It ends up angsty later bc neither of them actually want this. Or, they don't want it like this.)

Porsche does think Kim is very pretty, which leads to some... interesting situations. Some dubcon gender. Kim is going to play the part of his beautiful demure mistress because he feels like he has to. And it's easier this way, separating himself from the situation by playing this role, changing every aspect of himself down to his voice. (Until he has an identity crisis and a breakdown about it.)

This actually becomes a central part of the fic, but I don't want to spoil the surprise.

After Kim's break down, they start over, establish some boundaries and expectations. Once Kim gets comfortable enough to feel safe with Porsche, and his place under Porsche's power, he becomes an absolute gremlin. Porsche loves it, he's so fun, he's such a little shit.

Another central part of this fic is that Kim has OCD and slight agoraphobia. The agoraphobia comes after he betrays his father, it's a gradual onset. First he's just in hiding, but then Porsche starts trying to make him go out more. He's heard stories about Kim's eldest brother who never leaves the tower, he doesn't want Kim to end up like that. But Kim resists him at every turn, until it's just. Natural for him not to leave. (Chay will later get him outside, but not for a while.)

The OCD has always been there. But Korn isn't exactly a beacon of mental healthy support, so Kim has no idea what it is. All he knows is that he's Odd, that there are certain rituals he has to perform or else he feels like he's going to die, or someone else is, and he's usually punished for it. I don't want to get into all of them here but !!! I've spent the past few days coming up with self-soothing rituals for Kim and they are so good. It's not the usual generic habits like ~clean freak~ or ~counting things~, they're connected to his specific traumas, and they are so. excellent. they make me so happy.

So yeah! There you go! It starts out almost like an arranged marriage trope, Kim sells himself to Porsche, they eventually relax around each other, and they become excellent friends (who fuck, but don't fall in love). Kim uses family secrets to help Porsche get a leg up on his father. Porsche eventually helps mend Kim's broken relationship with Kinn (DubCon brother bonding).

Oh! And while Porsche isn't particularly kinky in this story, Kim is, so Porsche has to learn how to be a good dom for him. Once again the way that happens is very angsty, but it turns out great for them! Kim just needs someone to put him in subspace and leave him there for a while, get him out of his head. It's as close to therapy as he's likely to get.