#and i thought it would be nice because i wouldnt have to deal with her for a whole week

[iknaenmal]

WHY! IS! IRL FRIENDSHIP! SO HARD!!!!!

[rxmxa]

𝐥𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐮𝐩 ❤️‍🔥

my ideas + observations on what lilith aspects might look like in daily life <3

Lilith-Sun Aspects: Getting noticed right away by people especially when a group setting, being liked by people on the surface level but secretly they disapprove or frown at your actions when you turn around, men judging you, standing your ground at all costs, not knowing when to back down, being a natural leader, challenging societal norms with who you are and forms of self expression, walking into a meeting or class wearing a bold outfit and peoples heads turning but not a word is uttered, getting dress-coded at work or school, your boss or teachers feeling uncomfortable to say something to you, people feeling like you are being "messy" when you question the norms, not addressing rumors. knowing you're gonn stir things up when you are walking into rooms and not caring, being told to change, being told you're too much, men wanting to date you but then wishing you would be "easy to work with" or wanting to date you and then get mad when they can't dominate you, you thinking "what don't they fucking understand? I just don't want to be like them" being afraid of your individuality not being recognized that you go to extremes at some moments

Lilith-Moon aspects: the type of people to actually answer with the truth when you ask them how they're doing and then you're kind of shook because you thought they were gonna sugarcoat and be like "I'm fine" being painfully honest or blunt, talking about feelings considered taboo (like no one really likes to talk about how they are jealous or bitter or other shit like that, they just hide it or project it) but lilith-moon will say they're feeling that shit. this reminds of the song wildflower by billie eilish. this aspect is women talking shit about you, having trauma with you, women in your life judging you or pointing fingers at you for not falling into the "good girl" category. being told you're wrong for how you feel, feeling intense or moody and other people being able to pick up on it, other people seeing you as magnetic but also unpredictable and they can admire you for being real with them but it also might scare them, mom saying you are a wild child or just too much to deal with when you get "emotional", you wanting to yell "no im not fucking okay and im not gonna sit here and pretend I am"

Lilith-Venus aspects: men want you and see being with you as a challenge, they want to be with you to show off but then get mad when they cant change you, being called a "tease" or saying that you lead people on, men lying about you, spreading rumors about you, men saying they "talked to you" or dated you after texting you LMAOOO.. just fucking lying! being villanized for your beauty, your beauty feeling like its making you a target, women seeing you as competition, women spreading rumors about your beauty (oh she probably got this and this done or oh she shes only pretty because xyz), men in relationships looking at you and thinking you are manipulating them when you're not doing anything, feeling like anything venus related (beauty, art, relationships) in your life gets distorted, your relationships always feeling like a battlefield, being sensual + in tune with your femininity and then people expect you to tone it down, you might do something like wear red lipstick or heels or a nice dress and be told its too much but someone without this energy in their chart probs wouldnt get that reaction, you wondering "what's the difference between me and her? Why do they treat her like that and me like this?"

Lilith-Mercury aspects: being blunt, hurting someones feelings without meaning to, getting criticized for whatever you say, trying to be more "polite" but then it feels so exhausting, cursing a lot, cursing from a very young age and/or in professional settings, saying what other people refuse to say for the sake of being polite or because its a "superior" this is the person that in the meeting will the supervisor "In my opinion, this isnt a good idea and it isnt helpful to us", people talking shit behind your back, the person who dissects other peoples words down to the stutter, punctuation and fucking COMMA! How did they say it? What word did they say first? lilith-mercury will read between the lines and force you to say what you are refusing to say or putting in a passive aggressive manner, might refuse to engage with passive agressive people until they say it with their chest, "could you repeat that?" energy, "what did you mean by that?" energy knowing damn well what they meant, talking about politics at the dinner table during the family reunion, talking about sex in the break room at work, playing the devils advocate, reading smut, writing smut, loving dirty talk. trying to use their words for something good but people always making them feel like everything they say is just always wrong, pausing before they strike with their tongue, hating small talk, feeling uncomfy with small talk, people trauma dumping or ovesharing or vice versa, feeling suspcious of people that use pretty words with them, they wonder "What do they want from me? They're trying to get something from me...."

Lilith-Mars aspects: the first to get to moving and get shit down, getting easily annoyed at people that dont have the same drive, being angry at weak people or people that cant keep their word, "Are you gonna help or just fucking stand there?", being seen as abrassive, people avoiding you or shrinking back because of it, men wanting to compete with you, people feeling threatened by your ambition, the type to get nice things in life and people spread rumors that you had to xyz to get it, people thinking you're being confrontational or too angry when you address something face to face and up front, feeling out of control with your anger as a kid, people trying to push your buttons to try to get a reaction of you and then acting shocked when they do, fiercely independent in their routines, working out intensely, craving intensity in relationships, lines blurring between love and war "If I'm going to be the bad guy might as well get something out of it"

Lilith-Saturn aspects: a major dislike of authoritative figures, feeling resentful at being told what to do, wanting to do the opposite of what you do, "im not following this rule just because its always been followed", setting your own standards and expectations, "I prefer to find out for myself", questioning the system or cultural and societal norms and traditions that you find antiquated or unfair, people respecting you for your disciple but wishing you were easier to boss around, other people saying you're too cold or detached but you just dont wanna give them the chance to fuck you over, finding peace in the space between order and chaos and you perfecting that mix, wondering if life would be easier if you were "softer", choosing to form your own opinions on people, "thanks but I can decide for myself", feeling like you're held to expectations other people aren't

Lilith-Pluto aspects: not afraid to talk about the ugly shit in life, the taboo, trauma, control, power struggles, fear, jealousy because youve been familiar with it before, people being a little afraid of you, people saying youre too intense or even dangerous, people projecting onto you and getting mad or "disgusted" with you when you see right through them, being able to pick up on changes in peoples mannerisms, digging deeper in conversations, people suddenly confessing things to you, people not understanding why they feel drawn to your presence, people either approach it or go in the other direction, you come across as someone who has been through a lot but its only made you stronger, "im not afraid of the dark parts of life", going through something traumatic and years later thinking about it and coming to realization that you wouldn't change a thing, that it made you who you are, being okay with being seen as the villian in someones story

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA If I told my girlfriend to "get over it" ?

This requires some preface, my girlfriend (25) is chronically ill, and doesnt have a job currently and doctors arent really sure what she has but its being managed, for the most part, she still deals / copes with a lot of pain.

I (25) work a full time job. To support us, and for the past few months she's been begging me to get a new job (ive been applying like crazy to many places but USA job market is fucking awful awful place) and to 'learn to drive' or something to ease her struggles / pain of driving me to work everyday.

The reason why she drives me to work is because, I cant drive but also my vision is extremely bad and i wouldnt be allowed to drive anyways. (Im nightblind and i am legally blind, my vision is BAD)

But for the past 2~ months she has, consistently complained about driving me to work , and nearly making me late every time. Like , its frustrating and I have told her this that her doing this is frustrating me and making me upset she does this because I'm so tired of it. Its all she does most days is drive me to and from work. But theres no alternative for us to get me to work, an uber or lyft would cost 70 dollars both ways and just not reliable. Public transit doesnt exist where we live fully, so i thats not an option either. Truly its just driving there, which takes about 45min - 1 hour depending on traffic.

I wouldnt use the exact words of "get over it" but something much more nicely and better thought out. ?

The only reason I think i would be an asshole is that she is chronically ill, but our circumstances require her to do the driving. Which sucks, for us.

but yeah WIBTA?

[bridgyrose]

Weiss sank her sharp teeth into the roasted chicken that Ruby had brought for her, a small moan leaving her lips as her tail wagged. She savored the taste with each bite while trying to keep herself from tearing into it as her instincts wanted. “This is better than what I’ve had in months!” 

“What do you normally eat then?” Ruby asked as she sat down next to Weiss. 

“Rabbits, deer… and sometimes when I’m close enough to a village I’ll trade favors for food. Stuff like doing chores for people or killing grimm.” 

“Then why not stay closer to the villages? Sounds like you get a good deal out of it.” 

“Because I’m a monster as far as any of them are concerned.” Weiss took another ravenous bite of her chicken. “And besides, its hard to keep myself looking human enough to not draw attention to me being a werewolf.” 

Ruby nodded and watched Weiss. “So how exactly did you get like”- she motioned her hands around Weiss- “like this?” 

Weiss paused mid bite as she looked at Ruby. She slowly lowered her chicken and sighed as she pulled up a sleeve to show the scarred bite mark. “It… was a training accident. No one knew that one of the students I was training with was a wolf and… well… you saw how I reacted to getting touched by a little silver. I’m sure you can imagine what would happen if I’m struck with it.” 

“Training… were you training to be a huntress?” 

“I was. Father didnt like it, but it felt like the right path for me at the time. But after I was bit and shifted the following full moon, I ran away from home. I tried to go back a couple years after to take the exam to get into one of the academies, but there ended up being another full moon the night before and… well… I ended up attacking someone.” 

“I’m sorry,” Ruby said quietly. “How… how long have you been on your own then?” 

“About ten years.” Weiss went back to eating her chicken, practically crunching on the bones. “Long enough for me to take up my own training and work on my own.” 

“Must be rough.” 

Weiss shrugged and finished off the chicken she’d been given. She licked her lips and took a deep breath to try to focus on her human form, feeling her ears and tail disappear for the moment. Even after years of trying to pass as human, the form still felt foreign to her. And yet, it still felt more comfortable to be in around Ruby. Not that she ever felt uncomfortable around her in the hours since they first met. 

A small blush crossed her cheeks as she thought a bit more about Ruby. The girl was easy to talk to, didnt seem to be scared of her being a wolf, and cute to top it all off. “What about you? Did you train to be a huntress?” 

“I did,” Ruby answered. “Everyone in my family trained to be a huntsman. My sister and I attended Beacon together, though she went off with her girlfriend after we graduated. My mom and dad were on the same team too when they were in training, and the stories he told me of her made me want to be the huntress I am today.” 

“You do realize that means hunting down monsters like me, right?” 

“Well, yes, but… monsters like you are still people. You deserve to live a peaceful life, even if it means you cant be near the kingdoms.” 

Weiss smiled a bit and looked away from Ruby as her blush started to fade. “If only others could be like you. But the reality is that nobody wants anything that resembles a monster or a grimm nearby. And even if people were okay with me here, it wouldnt matter once the full moon came around. I… I still lose control.” 

“Then why not stay here with me until you have control?” 

Weiss went quiet as she looked over at Ruby again, not quite sure what to think. It’d be nice to have a place to call home, even if it’d only be for a while. But the thought of sharing a home with Ruby, staying with someone as kind as her… 

Her blush came back as she looked away, voice cracking briefly as she spoke. “I-I couldnt… I might hurt you on the full moon or bring people to you that might want to hurt you for taking me in-” 

“It’ll be fine,” Ruby said with a smile, offering a hand to Weiss. “I have a cabin in Patch that we can stay at. Far enough away from people that you wont be bothered and there’s plenty of space so when the full moon comes around, you can keep your distance if you’re that worried.” 

Weiss slowly reached for Ruby’s hand, tempted by the offer. A place to finally call home. A place she could finally be at peace and left alone for a few months. And yet, she couldnt find it in her to take Ruby’s hand, to take the offer that she was given. She slowly pulled her hand away, almost lingering until clutched her cloak. “I-I want to, but I cant.” 

“I dont understand. You could finally have the peace you want-” 

“And all I’d do is hurt you.” Weiss closed her cloak and pulled the hood over. “I should go. I wouldnt want you to get in trouble for being with me.” 

Ruby reached out to Weiss. “W-wait! Weiss!” 

Weiss pulled away as she felt Ruby’s fingers brush against her shoulder, her body freezing for just a moment as she took a quick look back at Ruby before running off into the woods. She felt her heart race the further she went, a few tears running down her cheeks at the thought of avoiding Ruby. But if it was the only way to keep her safe, then so be it. 

She’d avoid Ruby for as long as she’d need.

Prev

[paradoxbeta]

was looks to the moon born with the tooth gap or did she get that from somewhere and just kept it

that is a really good question actually because

id never thought about that before, i just went "hee hoo toof gap pretty" one day while drawing her and never gave it a second thought. i think she was just created that way because she has it in all of the pre-collapse artwork i have of her. that or she got it via fidgeting by putting her tongue between her front teeth because i used to do that when i was bored and i know that doing that enough times can move things around. but that would imply the iterators (from moons time at least) have fleshy/manipulatable gums which wouldnt be a very sensical design choice because all that really does is invite the possibility of teeth becoming crooked or coming loose. ((to be fair, i do already have a handful of other crooked-teeth iterators: srs's snaggletooth comes to mind first but my early sliver of straw design also had brace-like metal over her teeth, and im toying with the look of misaligned or broken teeth for some iterator ocs.)) but then if lttm wasn't able to do it herself, then i would have find a reason why the ancients would have made her this way when iterator puppets are designed to be palatable and straight teeth tends to be the most safe/neutral choice. so my closest guess is that either the alignment of teeth isn't as big a deal in ancient culture (which would make sense, im sure body modification extends to doing funky dental stuff) and/or she was made with a tooth gap for the same reason i made her with a tooth gap: because it looks nice and makes her feel more like a person and less like a flawless corporate computer interface, which is easier to talk to. however even though it should not be possible i really like the idea of lttms tooth gap being something she somehow did herself because it kind of gives it personality. auuugh *enters the torture nexus*

[digenerate-trash]

hey its the anon who had the scenario i wanted to ask about. Ok so what if PC managed to skip town. Like ok let me break it down. PC when they got this deal was at the police station for their crimes and was about to be sent to prison and they were just thinking about how their life managed to lead up to this point. And they start crying you know cause they didnt want to steal but they had to to get enough money for robin and themself. And now because of Baileys stupid demands they are now being sent to prison for their crimes. But then the guard opened up their waiting cell thing and this woman came in offering a job. One that according to her needed the expertise of someone like them. When PC asks if the job includes them being a criminal the woman just laughs and says the job isnt anything like that. Its a job that helps people. Helps people that are in the sex trafficking ring get out and live life again. And that they needed someone that is good at gettibg away wihtout leaving evidence and has fighting skills in them. The woman offers PC a place to live as well and a ticket to leave this town should they choose to accept. So of course PC accepts it.

Now the thing is PC doesnt tell anyone this. Not even Robin and especially not Bailey. They know Bailey wouldnt want to let go of his best moneymaker and it would just break poor Robins heart if PC told him they were skipping town. So they simply plan to escape the orphanage duribg midnight and meet the woman at pub street at the train station. The only people that knows PC would be leaving is Jordan and Leighton. Jordan because PC is a temple initiate so of course they have to tell him should they be leaving town permanently. Leighton so he could write in his records that PC would be transferribg to another school. 

And the plan succeeds. PC managed to successfully escape town without any of the yanderes foiling their plan! So how do the YAN DOL cast react? I know the School Li would know of this from their teachers telling them PC transferred. Who would find out first besides the people I have already mentioned? Would they try to get to PC or just wait in Rapechester?

Wow ok so that was a doozy. Would love to see your thoughts on this tho! Take care of yourself and have a nice day.

(I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't mean to take this long promie. I was out of it and everything got away from me)

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Whitney 

Absolutely ruined, he's got no clue why you'd leave him high and dry like this especially after he claimed you as his. He's not having a good time and he's fucking sick of not having you around anymore. As soon as school is over he's hunting you down with nothing but brass knuckles and spite. 

You escaped and that's not how things work around here. You should know that. He's made sure to drill it into your thick skull and yet you left without so much as a goodbye. He's tracking you down and dragging you home. Not to the orphanage. You are staying with him. 

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Robin

He absolutely can't handle it himself he's crying every day and can't eat or sleep or handle himself at all. He calls around he can't find you. He wants things to work out but he can't see it happening. Robin is trying his best to keep it together but he becomes a terrible shut-in. would probably die in the orphanage alone. 

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Kylar

Coming after you no exceptions. He's looking through everything he's going through hospital records school records he's digging through baileys stuff and intimidating students. The man is hysterical and panicking. He packs up a bag and promises his parents he'll be back soon before he hits the road. When he does finally track you down he's so happy to see you he's crying. You haven't changed a bit! That's what hell insists on before he knocks you out and drags you back to his home. Youre never getting out of the basement now. (he took your legs)

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Sydney

Pure Sydney is regretfully relieved. Though sad. You were too tempting. You were a lot to handle and he's thankful that youre no longer distracting him and causing issues but he misses you. And he waits for you to come back. He plans on marrying you still. 

Corrupt Sydney is a bit worse. He bothers people in town about where they think you went he causes problems he tries to track you down but doesn't get very far. He's sent back to therapy by Sirris… 

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Eden

Let's be fair. You never escaped Eden. He's on high alert all the time. Even if you did manage to get away from his grasp he found you first and dragged you to the cabin. He keeps you held down and in the cage every time you mention leaving. He's not great with letting things go. And he's even worse when you mention needing space. 

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Avery

Avery thinks this is fine. And it is fine. Youre just an aid date after all he can always get another one. But it still bothers him. Thinking yore out there somewhere. Indulging someone else probably. He says he is okay. He thinks he is even when he drags other orphans who look exactly like you on dates. He makes them respond to your name. He chokes them when they slip up. He is much less patient with them. After a little while he pays a private investigator to find you. 

It only takes a couple of months for Avery to show up to your new job. In person. 

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Black Wolf

Devastated puppy dog eyes. 

Can't handle it constantly looking for you can't even track your scent anymore. Can't even go into town. 

Blackwolf just has to wait for you back at the cave. He hopes you come back home soon

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Great Hawk

Same as black wolf but with more bird sounds. 

Has a pile of jewelry waiting for you. 

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Alex

Absolutely wrecked. He thinks he's the one whos done something wrong to drive you away. He asks around and finds out youre gone from town and no one can find you. He feels sick all the time can't even take care of the farm anymore

He doesn't track you down. He can't even think about you without feeling sick and angry with himself

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Bailey

He's tracking you down instantly. Don't get comfy in your new life because you won't be there for long. He's dragging you back home within days of your disappearance and hes pulling no punches. 

Youre chained and locked away forever now. He's never letting you go and for the next few weeks, he refuses to talk to you. He treats you terribly and can't even look at you. Pissed off that you would ever even think of leaving

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Harper

Good luck escaping this fuck :)

[gamblersdoll]

THE WARM THE COLD THE SIX.. chapter 3

tw: 18+, fingering, oral (f receiving) praise, degrading, reader had body piercings, pure filth when it gets there, reader is sleep in first portion.

“maiakai is going to regret talking to her.” both geto and gojo thought, hearing over the span of two days that you were supposed to go “out” with him or how he was coming over.

you and maiakai werent dating, but could you? probably not.

you spent some times cleaning up the place just in case he did want to come over, causing geto and gojo slightly on edge. gojo decided to try and distract you of your cleaning, making sure that if maiakai did come over, itd be trashy.

“so.. my wife, how tall are you?” gojo asked, his signature grin and his signature arm slung around your shoulders. he already knew the answer to that, but it was anything to keep you distracted.

geto would purposely make a little bit of a mess, contrary to belief. he wouldnt clean the dishes like he normally would or wouldnt collect his shedded hair. or hed spill hot candle wax on the table.

“what is your problem, you two??” you had asked, growing annoyed about their behavior, which wasnt normal for geto, or has satoru ever been this annoying.

they shrugged, pretending like they didnt know what you were talking about, so you ignored them too and decided to get dressed for whatever were to come to you. maiakai had texted you.

“coming over.” it had read, causing a lurch in your stomach. you quickly got dressed, went over some things and took deep breaths. your makeup looked decent, you looked great.

once you heard the doorbell going off, you bolted to the door, opening it and welcoming him in.

“nice place!” he had complimented you, then spotting the two boys sitting on the couch playing some random game. “who’re you two?”

gojo and geto didnt like the way he worded that.

“these are my roommates, geto and gojo… please ignore them.” you had said, hoping they wouldnt ruin your chances.

gojo saw his opportunity, so he took it. he is satoru gojo anyway.

“ i thought we were more than that?” he pretended to whine, feeling hurt. he frowned, pouting. maiakai was definitely confused now.

“what does he..” maiakai started to say, before you cut him off.

“hes an idiot, please ignore him.” you said, shooing gojo away.

“but i thought we all were involved with each other?” geto chimed in, putting on a confused look. “ did we do something wrong, love? is that why youre mad at us?” he pressed, putting down the controller.

maiakai definitely didnt want to be apart of this, so he decided to look else where.

“yeah.. think i should go.” maiakai said, making his way to the door quickly. you had tried to convince him to stay, but to no avail but only a door shut in your face.

gojo and geto were happy that he was finally out the picture, but ready to deal with a angry you.

“what the fuck is your problem?!” you asked, gritting your teeth at them. “because of a boy?!” you had asked, folding your arms.

geto somewhat felt bad, so he spoke for the both of them. “we uh.. didnt want you to leave.” he said, ashamed.

gojo didn’t pay you any mind, still focused on that damn game.

“yeah well, you won , assholes.” you said, storming off into your room, slamming it. while geto felt bad, gojo didnt feel any remorse. you shouldnt have allowed it, simply put.

“we have to make it up to her somehow, satoru.” geto said, feeling embarrassed about his behalf today.

…….

hours had went by now, and you were probably asleep. geto and gojo went to go check in on you, only opening the door to a surprise.

you were definitely asleep, but only sleeping in a oversized shirt and panties that they could see on display, making gojo’s pants tight.

“we need to apologize, satoru.” geto whispered to him, trying his best to be respectful. gojo shooed him off, scoffing.

“we are, we are.” he said, making his way to your bed. geto sighed, feeling like he has an idea of how to apologize.

two peas in a pod, you would say. geto softly and slowly flipped you on your back, careful to not wake you. and both slipped off your panties carefully so it wouldnt be too rough.

“fuck, her pussy smell’s delightful.” gojo groaned, wanting to dive in right then and there.

two peas in a pod.

geto and gojo looked at each other, and poked their tongues out to lick at your clit, causing you to moan softly in your slumber, and your clit throbbed. gojo, being a little shit, lapped and softly suckled on your clit, your folds, and your thigh.

“gojo, youll wake her up-“

“what the hell?” you said, groggily and a soft moan rippling through your throat. geto froze, and gojo leaned up to your face.

“wanted to apologizeee…” dragging out the last word, kissing on your neck. geto looked up at you, slightly nervous but still suckling on your clit.

“we’re sorry..” geto said, slightly muffled. gojo shook his head, sucking on your ear and chuckling.

“im not apologizing for something i was forced to do.” gojo snickered, sneaking his hand under your shirt and chuckling. he looked at geto, watching how he slurps on your pussy and apologizes, how hes sorry for making you angry. his hand stopped, and he looked at you..

“whats wrong, sat—“

“this bitch has nipple piercings.” gojo said, ripping your shirt off and suckling on them, swirling a nipple in his mouth and moaning.

all three of you were a mess, by time gojo was stroking himself, geto had slipped two fingers into your sloppy pussy, curling and brushing against your gummy walls as you sniffled and moaned.

“you cryin?” gojo leaned in your ear, twisting and pinching your prettied up nipples.

you shook your head, biting your lip until you felt yourself coming down.

“im gunna cum!” you moaned, arching your back and pawing at getos head, tugging on his long locks of hair.

“cum for him, pretty slut.”

“we’re sorry, beautiful, cum fer me.” geto said, mouth full of your cunt and what now is your essence.

after your orgasm, you shook for a bit until you jumped slight, only for it to be gojo and geto cleaning you up.

“still mad at us, beautiful?” geto had asked, hoping you wouldn’t be anymore.

“not right not.” you had said, allowing gojo to brush up against you in a embrace and allowing geto to reciprocate.

[bananaactivity]

i saw benjay could you perhaps elaborate please i want to know more of your thoughts on them

(also what are your thoughts on poly ships)

FIC INCOMING: Rebound relationship with actual feelings attached ( it’s still unhealthy though)

For poly ships I’d say that I don’t know much on the inner workings of them. I support it tho, irl and in fandom.

As for Ben and Jay it’s not something the actual series has any hints to. So all my thoughts rely on the circumstances of my AU.

(The characters attend college and Auradon is like a gated community opposed to the isle of the lost being a prison island ig.)

Mal and Evie are endgame in my AU however before they get there Ben and Mal have something going on. It goes up until the second movie where they break up, and this time they stay broken up and during the Evie/Mal lovers ballad they actually get together and they also still save Ben and return to Auradon.

Technically that means that Evie cheated on Doug but Doug and Chad deal with that together for a min. As for Ben he’s really distraught and lonely. And Jay has pent up emotions from his beef with his arch rival. So here’s the small excerpt for that:

A couple of weeks post the battle with the Sea VKs Ben was still holed up in his personal dorm suite. It was a bit strained those first days since they got back. He was the future king and all, it was because of him that the four of them could attend Auradon Uni at all. But he just…disappeared. He didn’t come to class or lunch or see anyone at all. A shame he was choosing to hide his face, if Jay was a hot prince who had it all he’d show his face every day. But he wasn’t worried they’d be kicked out. Ben was too sweet. His friends couldn’t see that though.

“ Someone has to check in the poor dear. It’s very well likely he could snap and send us off campus! I’ve spent a year’s time on my studies! I’m not throwing all that time spent away over a failed relationship, do you know how many designs I could have come up with in all that time!” Carlos was flippant as usual. One moment he had concerns over Ben’s wellbeing the next he was screaming about his clothes. “Carly don’t bug out, Ben wouldnt do that I’ve known him forever!” Chad, Carlos’ new little puppy dog. He played with his rats Patch and Rajah letting them crawl on Carlos. They were the best of friends after rooming together that first year. They’d had such fun together they requested to room again this year. Jay couldn’t be too mad at that, he was a good friend to Carlos and he had a good point.

Evie was antsy. “ Maybe Chad has a point guys, Mal and Him weren’t dating before he let us attend ADU?” Mal squeezed her hand, they had been extra lovey dovey now that they were together. Jay would never tell them this but it made him jealous, his long standing romantic interest had just been confirmed to be an impossibility when they left The Isle. “ Guys why is this even a conversation? Not only is prince Pretty boy too nice to kick us out he’s also too smart. As much as you don’t want to admit it, letting us attend ADU was a political move. He’s showing his future people that he’s gonna foster change when he’s in office. He won’t take that back and I’m sure he’ll be fine. Though why you’d stop snogging a face like Ben’s I don’t get. He looks like a good kisser.” Jay joked

He then sighed feeling he had quelled the situation. That didn’t last long before Mal spoke. “ Jay you go check on him.” “ What!” Great. “Yes Jay. You were the closest with him after me, weren’t you? I doubt he wants to see his ex or his exs girlfriend.” Jays mouth was agape. He appreciated Ben but Jay could hardly call himself a reassuring person. “ What about Carlos?!” Carlos sneered at them and got up in a huff knocking down Rajah the rat who plopped into Chads lap with a squeak“I wouldn’t have come over here to eat with you peasants if you were going to outsource me for your dirty work! Let’s go get dinner Chad! I’m feeling Italian cuisine.” Jay watched him walk off with a willing Chad trailing after him, rats in tow.

Mal looked back at him with big eyes. “Please Jay I just want you to check. I don’t want to be the reason we lose our futures here. We have a chance to be something other than…” She trailed off. “Fine. Mal. I’ll check on him but I’m telling you he won’t kick us out.” “ Thank you Jay.” Jay got up and left, before he had to endure his friend’s being all mushy and happy.

“ Benjamin Florian Beast open the fuck up.” Jay was banging on his friend’s Blackwood door. Sometimes the villain in Jay dreamed of stealing the door right off its hinges and selling it on the Isle. But Ben had become his best friend, Carlos and Chad had been so close that Jay felt a little shafted. Evie and Mal had already been distant when they dated their previous partners and now that they were with each other it was no different. Ben was his closest up until now. The door creaked open. And Ben peeked out. Surveying him he looked tired and yet irritatingly pretty. Jay couldn’t believe it, he’d showered at least but the tears and bed head were very apparent as well as the dark sleepy eyes. “Jay?” His voice was a little cracked and his eyes began watering. “Oh. Uhh hey man, I’m just here to check on you.” Ben’s eyes watered more and his lips trembled. “ Uhh Ben….” Jay stretched his arms out to the prince. At the slightest reach for him Ben flailed into his arms and sobbed. “ Oh my god Ben ,really?” Ben wasn’t a stick he had some weight to him but it was nothing Jay couldn’t handle and held him tight and hosted him up to carry him back into the room. Closing the door behind them for some privacy.

Jay attempted to let him down but Ben held on tighter and refused to let go, sobbing into his arms and mumbling incoherently. Jay sighed and and rubbed his back as he got more and more wet. After a bit the mumbling stoped yet still with many tears and heavy breath Ben started talking coherently “ Do you think I was really in love Jay Jay?” He sighed, it was nice to hear his nickname again… it made him feel special. “ I dunno maybe?” He had said he wasn’t good at reassuring people. “Really Jay. I’m asking you for real.” Ben moved his head back to look at Jays face, he still refused to let go of him it was much more intimate than what was normal. Jays heart beat harder and he felt awkward all of a sudden.

“ I don’t know Ben… Benji. I can’t tell you how you felt. But I can tell you that a lot of us are worried about you being holed by yourself up in here. It’s not good for you to be in a small space on your own like this for so long. Especially after the Isle.” This wasn’t entirely true. The others were scared of some retroactive revenge, Jay thought he’d be okay up until he became a water collector. And it was an even bigger lie that Ben was trapped in a small space. His prince dorm was very large with a huge bed a special shower room and large foyer with a mini kitchen and high ceilings with large windows. Spoiled pretty boy. “ I won’t be alone if you stay with me.” Jay stiffened and looked back down to the tearful man still clinging to him.

His hazel eyes refused to move from Jays and Jay was sure if he made any attempt to move from his grasp Ben would rather strangle him than let him leave. “ Okay Benji, I’ll stay. We can talk.” Ben sighed and sunk his head back into Jays chest still refusing to let go. “Thank you.” Eventually Jay managed to move them to the huge ass bed, his legs were getting tired and yet Ben still wouldn’t let him go. After sitting in tearful silence with his head rested on Jays shoulder Ben started talking again. “ I… I don’t want to be alone.” Jay laid his hand on Ben’s arm. “ Ben we’re in our twenties we have all the time in the world.” Exasperated Ben pushed his head up, still refusing to let go he glared up at Jay.

“Easy for you to say you meat head. I’m a gonna be king, people are going to be all over me in the media asking about my royal spouse!” He was cute when he was fussing about something silly, he’d always do that during game practice. “ So what dumbass aren’t you the prince? Just execute them!” Jay scoffed. He really wasn’t a very helpful, they should’ve sent Evie. “ No you goof!” Ben twisted onto his knees on the bed and completely turned to face Jay. “ That’s not who I wanna be! They all believed that Mal would be my queen and now I’m alone and I don’t know who I could possibly… I don’t want to be alone!”

Ben pushed into Jays arm and was getting teary eyed again. “ I thought… I don’t know why I tried to marry her… it’s only been a year? Audrey was awful and I saw a way out… but I still really appreciated Mal. No I… I…” The tears were flowing again. “ I miss Tourney. I wish I was Captain again, but I spent all that time with Mal. I always felt guilty when I was with her. “ He was rambling now and Jay wasn’t sure what to do. Ben was practically pinning him to the bed. “ Jay I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to be a bad ruler.” Jay wasn’t sure what to do but look stupidly at the pretty prince bawling his eyes out all over him again.” I don’t know anymore, I just want to go back to playing Tourney with the guys. I miss Tourney and I miss you.” That last part hit Jay like a truck.

The tearful hazel eyes were boring into his with so much intensity Jay was staring to falter. “Ben don’t cr-“ And then most startling event of that night. Ben smashed lips onto Jays. It was sudden and shocking to Jay but he leaned into it. Ben moved his hands up Jays arms to his shoulders and around his neck. Bold ass prince. Jay reciprocated and bent his hands to Ben’s waist as they deepened the kiss. Ben tasted like a salty ocean and his lips were soft and just as talented as Jay figured they were. The kiss hadn’t yet fuzzed his brain fully and he pulled away. “ Are you okay Ben? This is. I don’t wan-.” He drifted off as he looked at Ben. His face was still wet but his skin was flushed pink. His eyes though, were heavy lidded and he was breathing heavily before he spoke. His eyelashes were sparkling with tears and his eyes were red from crying. He was still so pretty, Jay was sure he wasn’t that pretty when he cried.“ You don’t mind this do you.” Ben moved his hands down Jays shoulders to his arms that were still holding on tightly to Ben’s waist. It was a complete 180 and Jay was confused and sure that he was just as flush as his friends. “ I… yea… No. But you were just crying, I don’t know if you need this.” Ben kissed him again slowly and moved his lips to Jays cheek. His heart was faltering and he couldn’t exactly remember what he was meant to be doing. “ I do need this- if you’re okay with that.” Jay was nearly mush, this was sudden… but he understood where Ben was coming from. Jay had only just in the past month realized that his feelings for his nemeses was t just hate. But it was too late, and here was his close friend just like him, lonely, and gorgeous, coming on to him harder then anyone had before. Was it too soon, and what was right and wrong, was fading out of his mind.

It was gone from Ben’s mind too the moment he made the choice to kiss his friend. They’d deal with whatever consequences after they regained sensible thought. For now though this was good. Jay moved Ben’s face from his cheek and pressed his. Lips back onto his. He was completely pinned by Ben on his soft huge ass bed. Ben’s hands moved back to the top of Jays shoulders and in turn Jay moved back to his waist. He felt a tongue testing the waters at the edge of his lip and he let it in immediately. Savoring the taste and melting further into the kiss. Exactly how far was too far wasn’t really on their minds. How they let it get this far that weren’t concerned about. Running from what was truly ailing them, they sunk further into the other’s lips and let sensations override their systems. They both indulged into the fuzziness that blurred rational thought and consciousness and continued on.

Waking up the next morning Ben was straddled atop Jay, who was expecting some sort of talk on how it couldn’t happen again. Ben woke up and looked staight into warm brown eyes surveying him. Jay poised himself to speak but Ben kissed him before he could get anything out. Sliding down Jays cheek as he spoke “ I had a nice time last night, it really cleared things up for me… if you’re okay with it… we could do it again?” Jay considered this. His friends had asked him to check and make sure they wouldn’t all be thrown out of Uni. If this was the way to ensure their sense of safety… he couldn’t say he didn’t like the feeling. It was so intense he almost couldn’t trace the pain of Harry that lingered in his mind. Why couldn’t he finally have someone to himself like his friends. He could. He leaned into another long kiss. Ben sighed in relief and returned the kiss before Jay pulled away to give a proper answer- “I could get used to this.”

Yeah that’s like, the inciting incident for a whirlwind of a relationship. If you think it happened so fast… yeah that’s how it felt for them too bro. There’s missing elements from unreleased outlines I have, up until now there’s tension and flirty elements to the way they would talk and hang out before this happens. That’s why Ben says he misses Jay. And Jay figures out that his hatred of Harry was actually an intense crush ,but Uma and Harry had their own thing happening leading up until the seaside battle for Ben. So they’re both having intense revaluations and Ben decided to push out those feelings by coming onto Jay who he already had a small bro crush thing with. So it’s a little unhealthy but they think they need it. Will they work through it?? Who knows. Well I know but I’m not saying after that long ass post.

[penguinkyun]

chapter 155 review

cw for references to canonical unrequited incest and suicidal ideation

i wish there were enough words in all the four languages that i know to express just how much glee this chapter filled me with

but since there aren't y'all are going to have to deal with this hopefully coherent chapter review

first things first is the hikaru (part of the) revenge is over!! leaving him absolutely emotionally devastated! and also leaving me devastated because i was kinda hoping we'd finally address the AqRb Kiss from 12 chapters ago because of the very clear parallels being drawn between aqrb and hkai in terms of the toxic codependency formed between ruby-hikaru and aqua-ai respectively and the way ruby was standing outside with a dark shadow on her face (because we had no idea if she knew where the revenge was happening yet or not) but oh well. guess she does know whats happening but when she found out? who even knows. another thing offscreened sigh

also uh. about the "mama" in the internal narration. i really wish i could confidently say its aqua finally calling ai "mama" but unfortunately both aqua and ruby are in frame, ruby notably being under the text box. (also if anyone else was as confused as i was about the panelling in the beginning, ruby is already present inside the room and is following hikaru out when aqua stops her)

so it's still unclear whether its aqua speaking or ruby so i'll hold off on cheering there (and also imo that if aqua does finally call ai mama i just think it deserves to be bigger moment)

anyways this particular sequence (and the one with ichigo) raises several interesting questions which is how the fucketh did ruby know about where this retelling of the hkai breakup was taking place and also does not answer anything about rubys acting.

by that, i mean we've been told ruby somehow forgave hikaru in the movie but uh...her trying to chase after him with double black hoshigans doesnt exactly convey that she's forgiven him (and neither does her acting considering we don't see any of it. all we see is ruby thinking about if she can forgive hikaru or not in 147 and then all thats shown is her acting out ai's death without a smile on her face (unlike how ai was smiling at the end of her life. so unless that particular tidbit is being saved for later chapters who knows even)

in that same vein it sure is interesting aqua says "your revenge" is over. wonder if that has any implications (it definitely does and i will get to that in a minute)

so with aqua framing the DVD reveal as ruby's revenge being complete, its no surprise that the next few moments are ruby's homecoming.

HEY MIYAKO I THOUGHT AKASAKA FORGOT YOU

god this scene was so so cathartic to read with rubys hoshigans turning to permanent white with her homecoming from her revenge, miyako embracing both the twins and aqua finally getting to break down.

and the parallels with 124 too! in that chapter, miyako was worrying over the twins while a meal was being cooked for her, lamenting that she couldn't understand them as she wasn't their real mother but in 155, she finally gets to embrace them after making a meal for them, getting to finally comfort them in a tangible way

HER CALLING AQUA HER SON!!! FINALLY!!! SHE GETS TO DO THIS!! SHE GETS TO SAY SHES PROUD OF HIM!!! AQUA FINALLY ACCEPTING THE COMFORT HES BEEN DENYING HIMSELF FOR LITERAL YEARS!! BREAKING DOWN AT BEING TOLD HIS MOTHER IS PROUD OF HIM!!!

ahem. right so that felt incredibly good to read thank you akamengo.

(i will say that there is still that niggling thought of like. why miyako didn't follow up after being told point blank that aqua was breaking down and like. i guess you could say she knew he wouldnt accept that comfort and thus opted to wait until he would but it'd still have been nice to see a panel of her at least checking up on him because the only thing we get is her bullshit answer in 142 regarding the incest bait lol and then she just disappears from the movie arc entirely)

anyways im of two minds regarding the ichigo conversation

because if we assume aqua isnt lying here then i dont...really like the implication aqua only chose to not kill kamiki because ruby forgave him (not only because ruby clearly didnt considering her actions earlier lol) but because as a major part of his arc, aqua choosing not to kill kamiki has to be his and his own conscious choice because its been emphasised over and over that aqua cannot kill someone without causing severe psychological and physical damage to himself leading to his own death. him choosing not to kill kamiki is his choosing not to kill himself in the process and thus him consciously choosing that he wants to live.

but i think (and my theory is) that aqua was clearly lying to ichigo here because he's the one to stop ruby from going after hikaru and also because he told ruby her revenge was over. hers, not his. for ruby, her revenge consisted of ruining kamiki and the same went for ichigo. you can see his moment of deliberation here, where he pauses before answering ichigo, without meeting his eyes.

this way, in saying that rubys revenge is over, he has set it up so that both her and ichigo are now free from their self imposed duty of avenging ai (and goro for ruby), essentially giving them the same grace he had during his no hoshigan arc without letting them in on the final act of his play.

WHICH IS MISS FUYUKO NIINO, EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR HER!!

(sidenote its so funny that aqakn are both back into their love now hairstyles. and also akane saying she doesnt have to imitate ai is a textual confirmation of her purposely changing her looks to match who she wants to be like. but as is with the case of this entire arc i sure would've loved to see the character development that led her to finally letting go of ai here!)

(also justice for katayose yura finally shes mentioned again after *checks notes* around 45 chapters!)

(this is the third sidenote i should plan these out better but lmao is this what akane and aqua were doing during the movie arc?? searching for other evidence to hikaru and accidentally stumbling on nino?? itd be hilarious if the only reason nino noticed akanes stalking was because it wasn't hikaru she was stalking but nino instead lmao)

i cannot tell you the sheer delight that filled me when nino appeared. i had been wondering of her role in all this and i had the tentative theory she was also involved in the events leading to ai's death especially considering the hospital sequence because how the fuck would either ryousuke or hikaru gotten that address but man it sure is validating to see that she was somehow involved confirmed!

toxic yuri wins once again!

(that being said, as happy as i am to see nino as the final boss, i will be holding back some of my delight because how her involvement unfolds is important considering how her and ai's fight is framed as an ordinary fight between friends that would've been solved if it was anyone else in the main manga and her character in main manga.

but i suppose that is the point isn't it? love can rot and nino's certainly did, evolving into a complicated mixture of hate, love and unwavering belief in ai as the perfect idol. and well. all a fan wants is to see and help their idol rise to the top, isn't it? why should nino be any different?)

(but also yeah i have a few issues with this im not sure how to put into words ahsjd)

also please read 45510 its very important as a basis for ninos character and this twist as it is a short side story which is in her first person narration discussing her view on ai right before the movie arc!

(also def interesting aqua only attributes ryousukes, goros and yuras deaths to nino and not ai's huh)

no break week!!!

[eggsploded]

fausto for the ask thing...... the girl herself

butterflaust :)

first impression: you really get the feeling that she fucking hates you. shes rly funny cuz shes the tutorial character but doesnt leave after the prologue. shes here forever, judging dante. i feel in the beginning i skimmed over all the nuance in her dialogue assuming its just wordy for the sake of wordiness.

current impression: faust is soooo... faust. upon replaying the prologue shes way less cold than i first thought, her little c: smile when talking about mephis was saur cute. in fact shes not really cold at all to me, simply operating in a faustly way. you can contextualize what she does as a way to keep herself occupied. not really for some deeper lore sense (because ionno what her deal is) but a bitch needs some stimuli. i think if she was made to do arts and crafts with no larger purpose outside of fun she would explode into blood and gore. it also makes her friendship with yi sang really funny because i wonder if she cares to understand his artsy spech past it being a little clever wordplay. if he made her a drawing she wouldnt know how to compliment it outside of a technical sense. her flavor of arrogance is also so funny to me because its so stupid? like when rodya complimented her and she puffed up and went faust Is cool. the speaking in 3rd person too is funny, knowing she isnt LARPing like don and is very much just Like That. theres alot about herself she either doesnt notice or simply does not want to examine deeply like her mild competitiveness or tendency to manipulate people if it means theyll be less annoying to her. simply the faust of all time

favorite moment: i think the sweetest and funniest thing was realizing her spiel about yi sang not being a genius Unlike Her and believing in more philosophical things unlike her Sensible and Tactile self was an attempt at a COMPLIMENT. i thought she was ripping him to shreds but no she was actually hyping him up a bit in the most clinical way possible

story idea: you know earlier when i said making faust attempt creative expression would cause her to explode into bits? well i want to see it anyway. im forcing her at the kindergarten table of that nasty smelling homemade playdoh and telling her to make a new animal. sinclair made a bear with with wings called a beear. very nice young man.

fav relationships: im enjoying the fandom divide with faust shipping where she is either getting bitches left and right and not giving a fuck to maintain them (because it comes out weird when she tries) or not even being aware of when shes down bad and having the primal part of her brain that tells her to bite and roll around hijack her motherboard. shes being corroded by an insidious EGO called... horny, different to lust, which is Krausts jam. i already wrote a little bit about fausang and i think fausts inability to know how to enjoy things makes them a very sweet duo. in her mind the guy doesnt come a lick close to her own brilliance, but something about how he closes his eyes in understanding speaks more words than compliments do. not to say that faust doesnt like being hyped up. because she does, like all the time. if they were walking she wouldve tripped when rodya called her babe. her greatest flaw is pretending shes above anything, if there was a chance to maul ryoshu she would without pausing. probably so turned on she cant see anything. ishmael too. also outis. hey, whats going on here? my sources tell me due to her ongoing opposites to yi sang she is incapable of a domestic lame marriage the way he is. ishmael is the yuri messiah, but faust is the yuri menace. you know what they are both capable of though? following rodya around enamored because that was the first pet name theyve ever been called and it felt Funny.

fav headcanon: in the newest credits cg for canto 4 i think shes telling vergil she has a tummyache

[hyperrealisticblood]

thoughts on banwally. i've never played any of garten of banban so you are my only reference for what happens in those games and consequently, what makes banwally a compelling crackship.

buddy..... you have opened a can of worms you could have never prepared for

when or if I started shipping it: i actually have an exact date, may 29th of last year. everyone in my friends server is really into crackshipping so we like to share random ideas with each other and i posted them as an idea on that date. i have never been the same since

my thoughts: crackships are kind of hard to talk about in this context because there isnt anything canon to go off but ill do my best. when welcome home first started gaining traction i saw a lot of people saying "this is what good mascot horror looks like" (whether or not wh even counts as mascot horror is. debatable.) so me associating banban and wally with each other was already a thing before i started shipping them. at some point i realized they both have a lot in common (monotone voices, often associated with devil imagery, passive most of the time but gets a little Silly with it sometimes) and i was like woah.... they should kiss. again a lot of my thoughts surrounding them are based in headcanon so im struggling to talk about them in a way that doesnt make me sound fucking insane BUT im a sucker for pessimist/optimist ships and they very much fit that to me. i think they balance each other out in a way, wally is a bright spot in the Endless Misery banban deals with on a daily basis, and banban is pretty logical and grounded which levels out wallys spacey-ness. theyre very much a jessica and roger rabbit "he makes me laugh" type of deal but with the fun addition of identity issues and whatever the fuck wallys deal is

what makes me happy about them: the fact that theyre both freaks of nature (banban is a weird clone manmade abomination thing, wally is either straight up an eldritch entity or a manmade puppet with eldritch qualities) is another thing they have in common to me, so i think theyd be accepting of each others weird traits because they know what its like. banban doesnt give a fuck that wally is up to some scp shit, he might as well live in the scp containment facility. theres a kingdom run by a giant kangaroo woman with a magic scepter who is in charge of keeping a bunch of baby demons and the father(?) of those baby demons trapped in her pouch or else the entire kingdom will be destroyed. he has seen weirder. banban wouldnt just love wally because hes handsome and hes nice to people, he loves all of his weird traits too because they arent even weird to him.

what makes me sad about them: they lend themselves pretty well to angst (i hate that word but idk a better one to describe this) because theyre both from horror media, and i like to pelt my favorite characters with hammers so >:) my friends and i (same friends who got me into crackshipping) have a group rp thing going on, and theres a mini arc going on right now based on the fact that banban got SUPER fucked up trying to fight sir dadadoo and his army. wally wants banban to leave the kindergarten because of how dangerous it is, he wants him to live in home where he doesnt need to fear for his life all the time. but despite all the horrors he has to put up with, banban doesnt want to leave everyone in the underground behind. theyre still his friends, and he wants to protect them. as much as wally wants him to be safe, he understands where hes coming from because he wouldnt want to leave his friends behind either. this leaves him feeling really conflicted and confused, and the homewarming update taught us that wally doesnt do well with those kinds of feelings. just some thoughts for yall <3

things done in fanfic that annoys me: nobody except me would wanna write fanfic about them and im too depressed slash lazy to actually write anything so. uh

things I look for in fanfic: see above

my kinks: size difference where the top is the smaller one i have no such things. i am a man of the lord.

who i’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: wallaby (wally/barnaby) is pretty epic so if that ends up being canon i wouldnt be mad lmao. ive also been wondering if wally might end up whoever "w" is (the awayfrompryingeyes.net mod) because clown said theres another ship that will be canon but that he cant talk about because its inherently a spoiler somehow, id be fine with that too. not much to say about banban because gobb doesnt do romance aside from whatever the fuck nabnab and nabnaleena have going on

my happily ever after for them: things finally calm down at the kindergarten to a point where banban feels comfortable leaving to be with wally, and whatever the hell is going on with home also calms down. banban would still visit the others obviously (i think he would introduce some of them to wallys friends, barnaby and bittergiggle would get along super well i think) but he can finally be somewhere where he isnt constantly fearing for his life :]

uhh tldr dont say "what if i shipped this" as a joke. it will become no longer a joke and you will write like a million words about two characters from entirely different media who have never met and never will meet. worst mistake of my life

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not wanting to homeschool?

i(15ftm) have been getting pressured by my family, and especially my mom, to homeschool. my older brother and 3 younger siblings all agreed to homeschool this year, my brother especially being very enthusiastic. my mom(36f) has been watching a lot of news and tiktoks that have made her certain we need to run away to Tennessee (we live in California ) within the next year or two, and she desperately wants me to homeschool.

i have a lot of trouble focusing on schoolwork specially when im at home, to the point that when we were quarantined i failed all but one class. i also have a hard time making and keeping friends, as i am incredibly socially anxious. this last year and now, ive been making close friends, but its hard to keep in touch or hang out when we arent in school.

ive tried to explain that i would be incredibly depressed (moreso than right now lol) and i would probably lose any chances on making it to anything except community college if i home schooled, but my mom wont hear it. she has always written me a letter to read when i get to school on the first day, and they are always very nice. this year she wrote an incredibly passive-agressive note about how she wishes i would homeschool. she is convinced that i will get convinced to talk to my counselor at school and get sent to a group home and then kidnapped for sex-slavery and such, based off of a law that doesnt exist yet ane won't until i am a senior. ignoring that, i would never and have never talked to the school counselor outside of signing up for classes.

anyways, my mom has been bringing this up in every conversation, and shes also still frustrated that i told my friends i was trans before her, and is convinced the entire school and all teachers know as well. i have tried to tell her otherwise, but she wont listen. i only waited to come out to her in the first place, because when i came out as pan, she took my phone and went through it for a week and thought i was saying that i was attracted to pedophiles, and then she immediately outed me to my brother(16m) and dad(42m), who i was waiting to come out to for another month or so, as i wanted to make sure it wouldnt be unsafe to come out. (she didnt tell me she outed me either, i found out from my dad. my parents are divorced and have been since i was 3.) she has since outed me as trans to my dad as well.

however, disregarding that, she has genuine reason to want me to homeschool. it would be less money since we would have to pay for bus rides, extra food, and school supplies for me, and it would mean i get to spend more time with my family, which is a big plus for her. i also wouldnt have to deal with annoying teachers, as it would all be through online courses. for me though, it wouldnt be worth it at all, and i would lose access to my electives, game design and costume design (i go to an art school).

so, am i the asshole? she is genuinely worried about things right now, but i cant see myself being happy doing homeschooling.

What are these acronyms?

[weirdhunterangel]

Here comes the random ass thoughts that nobody asked for but I will put out here anyway.

Please be warned my opinions are whack and I'm just here for the fiction I want.

I started watching Strong girl Nam Soon because I saw that Bo young and Hyung Sik cameo clips and then I was swayed by edits of the cutesy villain. Ahahha.

I have gotten to the point where I skip random episodes and scenes and mostly just watch the ones with Si-o because the others just dont interest me as much. This is coming from someone who loved Do Bong Soon okay??!!

And personally I feel like the only character that has any depth (even if the depth is crazy villain-ness mostly, yes I accept that the actor being good and hot does add to this) is Ryu Si O. I am only here for his minor redemption arc which is him somehow ending the Russian Mafia and going off into the wild. Yes I get that he has killed a bunch of people, he is still my favourite. His presence isnt bland. And I love sunshine boys and sunshine girls!

Initially it was a little sad that Nam Soon wouldnt give him the time of day no matter what he did. But I am over that now. Tbf her romance barely fits into this whole narrative. Her and hee sik dont have any development together. Except that theyre really nice to each other which would be ideal in real life but this is fiction and I am here for the wild wild west where a crazy villain does not end up dying but reels it in a little bit, enough to get the nice protagonist who by that point should have slightly not black and white character developement.

Basically, if they kill Si O i will be sad. No matter all the chaos he has caused which is yes not great.

So all I will mostly be doing is scrolling the internet trying to find out what happens to my boy and then I will hope kdramaland kinda progresses a bit into the villain is the hero of this show kinda thing and this boy gets to act in it. Somewhat like devil judge. They went places with that show. Even the glory tbh. But those shows had a different deal.

Okay im doneee.

Come yell at me if you also have opinions on Ryu Si O xD

[adidegmez]

spn s12 spoilers

s12 ep1(keep calm and carry on)

33 years. Sam was 21 and Dean was 25 when all this started, time passed so quickly. toni might be right. it would be a good thing. but some monsters deserve to live like garth or benny(he is dead but he was a good vampire). so i dont know. wow cas is violent. they hit baby. dean will kill them. There's a lot going on but Dean and Cas pushing the car seemed funny to me, idk.

s12 ep2(mamma mia)

sam, he is telling everything to toni. mary is right to be afraid. yes everything happened beacause she made a deal with the yellow-eyed demon but if she wouldnt have done that then sam and dean wouldnt have been alive. so i am not mad at her not so much at least. what does lucifer want? dean and pie one of my favorite duos. crowley ran. i hope winchesters can be happy i always wish this but its usually dont happen so…

s12 ep3(the foundry)

family hunting trip. i love winchesters. Dean got his taste in music and food from Mary. agent beyonce and agent jay z:) . an angel and a demon i love them. okay i feel sorry for mary but she just left them. i hope she'd stay dead, then all of them would be happy. Dean and Sam had gotten over it. Mary was happy in heaven. Now Mary misses her family in heaven, so she leaves Dean and Sam heartbroken. Maybe they would be happier if Darkness brought Bobby back. Or Charlie (I still haven't gotten over his death, I'm still in denial).

s12 ep4(american nightmare)

the early seasons. i miss it. things were more simple. winchesters are gods(chucks) besties, they are not lying about that. seeing dean smile makes me feel good. ketch killed magda.

s12 ep5(the one you've been waiting for)

dean didnt eat the pie:(. is it really about mary? The scene with the ship was hilarious. Harry Potter! dean killed hitler. it is awesome. he is so happy he get to do that. did i mention dean killed hitler:)!

s12 ep6(celebrating the life of asa fox)

i love jody and her relationship with the boys. and yes dean killed hitler:) . winchesters are famous and i like it. billie is annoying. but she has a point. rules must be followed and winchesters always break the rules. most of the times its good but still they break rules. asa seemed like a nice guy and a good hunter. twins are cool. i hope mary will come back home fast. i dont know how much dean can wait.

s12 ep7(rock never dies)

i love cas and crowley. theyre so funny. Cas is tired of being the babysitter. the water scene might be the first spn video ive seen before watching the Show. i totally forgot about it but seein it now is different now i know dean i know sam and their relationship. and this makes perfect sense now. i love them. Maybe Cas couldn't follow, but couldn't Crowley follow his manager or the other band member and find the concert? crowley's with cas till the end i guess(for now at least). cas' famous word:) . well lucifer is kinda right, Chuck left again. he couldve taken lucifer with him or at least do something about him.

s12 ep8(lotus)

agents(in unision:)). an angel and a demon beat the two best hunters in the World. its amazing, their reactions everything. when sam asked anything missing i didnt realized the cross i said his soul because he want smiling and i knew it wouldnt make sense but i said it anyways because thet was all i could think of. well i just saw something about Charlie on my phone. I still haven't gotten over her death. I don't think I'll ever get over it. this Show is supernatural we saw characters' deaths but they returned most of the times. even bobby he is dead but we still see him some of the episodes. Why do we never see Charlie, they never even mention her. she didn't deserve such an end. I thought we might see her at least in 1 or 2 episodes. But she died, unexpectedly, and I still can't believe she is dead. I've said this many times, but when I watch new episodes, I think of her every now and then and I still can't make sense of her death. I miss seeing Mark Pellegrino. he is great as lucifer others are good too but I want to see him more. rowena is crazy at first i didnt like her much but i started to like her this season. What does the table with the color map in the Men of Letters bunker show? like how much of a monster there are? If anyone knows, I would be glad if they could tell me. I've been wondering for a while but I couldn't find it. I tried to read the writings on it, but it didn't work. i think i know WHO the nephilim is. i saw spoilers again and i was wondering about that character. i am so excited. I'm not sure if we will see that character in this season, but I think the chracter will be in the 13th season. i thought ketch was crowley:(. still he saved them so no problem for now at least. i forgot about lucifer and i thought dean asked because of cas. If it's going to bring the angel out, they would make sure cas' not near it. i love the team so much. they are amazing together. Rowena and Crowley are starting to get along well. In previous seasons, I was always afraid that the Winchesters would get into trouble with the law. This fear of mine had diminished considerably. But now I think they're in even bigger trouble. kelly is a mother but the baby is lucifers child. If they raise the child well, I think good things can happen(i hope). an angel, a witch, the king of hell, The two best hunters in the World they are amazing. the best team up

s12 ep9(first blood)

i dont know what i expected but im disappointed that crowley didnt help cas. Mary gets angry at Cas, but she wasn't there. The boys didn't even ask for help because she was gone. she left. 6 weeks! whatever they will get out idk how or when but they will. winchesters… i love them so much. How did they deceive the men? They didn't really defeat Lucifer, did they? He'll come back again, he can't be gone. I don't trust the men of letters either, but I really hope they can help. The guys don't stand a chance against Dean and Sam. cas!!!! What he did was very reckless. I'm glad the Winchesters aren't dead, but they've done things to disrupt the order of the universe too many times. What Billie said scares me. Billie is dead, the others are alive, this is a good thing, but what they will encounter next will be worse. and that is scary. The Winchesters took an angel and added him to the family and changed him, and it was great to watch this change, but it's not for the better, cas will die i know it but i dont want to see it. i knew ketch would kill them. mary! what The British Men of Letters saying is a good thing but like i said some monsters are not monsters. they deserve to live. and although their methods are effective, they are a bit extreme.

s12 ep10(lily sunder has some regrets)

Okay, Cas did something careless, but Dean needs to let it go and look at other things. Sam is right Cas saved all of them. cas is talking back to dean now, this scene is so funny. cas had a woman vessel! im glad he changed he no longer blindly sticking to rules. he is in team free will and this team always saves the World and i love them.

s12 ep11(regarding dean)

this ep is funny but is kinda sad. i have mixed feelings. i watched some clips of this ep. and ive been waiting to see it. jensen is amazing. hunting is the best job?! dean forget about his traumas. he is so happy full of life. It will be nice when Dean remembers everything, but I will be sad. Now he has forgotten the bad things and is in a happy state. But when those memories come, he will be sad again. Dean's eyes sparkle. deans love for scooby is precious. i didnt think this ep would be this sad. dean is frgetting himself and everything hes been through and the people he loved… its too much. how could dean aim that good and remember how to use a gun? i think he is born to be a hunter. when dean and rowena tricked sam sam's face told everything. he amost lost his brother again. thanks to rowena dean is back. and dean i love you.

s12 ep12(stuck in the middle (with you))

yes everything is fine. Wally is definitely not dead. Cas is not injured. right everything is allright. What kind of demon is this? He's not really azazel, is he? mary is working wth bmol its okay but she is hiding it from the boys that cant be good for any of them. well, at least its not azazel. others are bad too but still im glad its not him. so, thats how crowley became the king. crowley loves them. and i love him. he is trying to save them and they dont even know that. this ep was kinda like memento(nolan movie). and i think this is so cool. yes cas you are a family and this family wouldnt leave a member behind. dont say goodbye you aer gonna be allright. the trio, they all changed and their character development their stories are amazing and im glad i witnessed their stories, im glad i know them. theyll be a part of me forever. Mary, what was so important that you would let everyone die? crowley saved cas:) . mary stiil didnt mentioned the item to the boys. did she say cas is one of his boys? the item is the colt!! lucifer!!!!! i knew it was him from his voice but i wasnt sure.

s12 ep13(family feud)

I don't like that she works behind boys' backs. i missed seeing Mark Pellegrino. he is brilliant. i think rowena loves gavin. crowley loved his son. it was for revenge. i didnt see that coming. but crowley and rowena are even now. i hate to see the boys sad. mary shouldnt break their hearts.

s12 ep14(the raid)

-you are not a child -i never was. i knew this scene was coming and thats why i couldnt love mary. okay she needs time but the boys need their mother she was gone their whole life now she is back and she is rarely with them. things are never easy on this Show. i wish mary didnt returnn. that way she couldve been happy in heaven and the boys would be okay without her because they accepted her death they were never good there is always something but the two of them and maybe cas they would be okay, together. i hate seeing them hurt. and this time the one whose hurting them is their mother and this is worse. and now she is not even mom she is mary. I wish Bobby had come instead of Mary. If there is no bullet, why do you take out the colt? To drive a wedge between Sam and Mary even further? Sam, are you going to lie to Dean too? brits are doing some good things, i dont know what to think of them yet so I'm with dean(as always). When Sam said he was choosing a side, I thought he was choosing Dean, now does that mean he's choosing Mary?

s12 ep15(somewhere between heaven and hell)

and sam is lying to dean, great. Cas has gotten better at lying, but he still keeps his badge upside down. I wish they'd worn glasses to see the hellhound, just in case. After all, the girl also told the sheriff that the dog was coming towards her. im scared for crowley i dont think this will end good for him. i sometimes forget crowley is evil. what he did to lucifer was just, wow, i never see it coming neither did lucifer. dean hates bmol beacuse they tortured sam they hurt him not dean. he probably would be okay if they hurt him but they hurt his baby brother. and now his brother and his mom lied to him. He would find out eventually. Do they think that Dean wouldn't understand if they said it from the beginning? see, he is okay with it, im just sad thathis family lied to him, they didnt trust him to make the right choice.

s12 ep16(ladies drink free)

hogwarts! well then i want in. that wasnt wise. i hope they wont do anything to garth. i love dean. i love how he is happy for eve little things. i love seeing him happy even for a little moment. i love the referances. i kinda like claire but she lies most of the times, to jody to dean and sam. i love how dean acts like claire is his sister and protecting her. and, this reminds me Charlie. why did she die. she couldve lived, and we coldve seen her time to time like claire i miss Charlie. i dont think i could get over her death. dean is right(as always). they gave mick a second chance but i dont think it will work. They will finally learn about the things Ketch did. But this is not about Mick, he is just following orders. I think we saw today that he can actually be a good person. its not ketch'S fault either, he is just following orders too.

s12 ep17(the british invasion)

everyone says the nephilim is an abomination. but i think if they raise him well he could be a good guy, 'cause why not. Genes don't define who you are, of course they do, but I think upbringing will have a bigger impact. And I hope so because he's just a baby right now. I was starting to like mick. and the colt is back where it belongs. im not even worried. winchesters will be fine but im not sure about the others

s12 ep18(the memory remains)

come on cas. you have to come back. satyr. saving people hunting things the family business, dean's face wen he realised that was priceless. you are legends dean. normal people wont know you but the people you saved the hunters they will remember you. i would remember you. i hope boys will realise the device soon. things wont work out with the brits thats for sure.

s12 ep19(the future)

cas, finally. i love team free will. grace extractioni its brilliant. wow. yes, they always find a way. and cas is gone. cas stole the colt. cas team free will is all you need. you are saving the boys thats such a winchester thing to do. you are a winchester. but dean will be mad. and sam will be sad. kelly was right. im glad cas changed his mind. of course, im sad that he keft the boys but hell return.

s12 ep20(twigs & twine & tasha banes)

dads on a hunting trip and he hasnt been home in a few days. they did it again. they have mary and another mary! i would say a clone but is she a shapeshifter or something? mary doesnt know. She could have escaped, but she made a reckless move and was caught. i love the way dean holds the wine glass. mary fought good i loved the twins. i think we will see them again someday nad it wont be good. bevell is back, i hope sam will kill her.

s12 ep21(there's something about mary)

Eileen died?! i thought ketch would get her. crowley isnt dead. he is a rat, right? i think crowley will save dean and sam. because he needs help with lucifer.

s12 ep22(who we are)

they are geniuses(lunatic geniuses) and i love them. jody is a good mother to the girls ad the boys. i love her. hope she wont die. i hate you? dean couldnt have said that. why would he saiy that? dean is hurt. but he isnt saying waht happened to him he is just talking what happened to his brother. he did everything to keep him safe but he failed, so many times. he blames his mother yes but i think he blames himself more. he was never a child he tried to give his baby brother everything but how could he, he was just a little boy whos lost his mother and his father was just seeking revenge. he did best as he can. yes mary is back. they killed humans and i think they are ok with that. i get it its kill or be killed and they chose themselves. but idk i thought they would hesitate a little bit. so, what does lucifer wants? he was cool with his father, now he created something and he wants it then what? he wants to rule the World? the family hug, finally. this is who winchesters are. they try to make World a better place for the other in doing so they hurt the family, but in the end they always forgive each other and then turn back to the beginning because its a cycle. and im not complaining, they save the World always.

s12 ep23(all along the watchtower)

i missed carry on. They haven't put it at the beginning of the episode for a long time. i will give my life for your son, i hope you wont need to do that cas. crowley is not a cockroach, he is a rat. is rowena really dead? i dont believe it. she cant be dead. kelly wouldve been a great mom. i mostly like crowley he is strange but he mostly helps the winchesters so. i love cas i love his character development he is amazing. hi bobby! he is back once again. i missed bobby. i hope we can see our bobby again. i loved the DC referances. Did Lucifer really think the Winchesters had escaped? crowley! cas! why did crowley did that? he wouldnt kill himself? well old crowley wouldnt but like everyone winchesters changed him too. and cas he has changed by the winchesters too. but this Show is supernatural how can someone stay dead. how can we be sure they are rally dead. right now they look like they wont come back but in this Show everything is possible. and Mary was taken from her boys, again. she might still be alive. im 99% sure kelly is dead(after all this is supernatural). dean and sam lost everyone they cared about again. jack came. i hope winchesters will raise him. and thats all for this season. last 3 seasons. and im still not ready to say goodbye i dont think i ever will be.

[pbandjesse]

Today did not go as planned. I actually ended up going to urgent care. I just felt so wrong. I did not feel like myself. I felt very very foggy. I am feeling a little more normal now. But also still so tired.

I was trying to be positive this morning. Waking up was hard. I have been having a lot of intense dreams. Whole worlds and lifetimes. It is a little exhausting to wake up from. But I got up and got washed and dressed. And I was trying to be positive! James gave me hugs and told me I smelled good. And that made me feel nice. But my face felt puffy and my hair wasn't right. I would try brushing it but it didn't make me feel any better. I would gather myself and did leave later then planned but it was okay. I didn't have to deal with any traffic and got to camp before anyone else.

It was beautiful at camp today. The trees looked so full and gorgeous. I would go up to the art building first. I would move all the tables and most of the chairs outside. I thought they would be useful for the music festival this weekend. But also it would let me clean the art building a bit. So once I got all of the tables out I would sweep a lot of the nonsense. It's not done but it was a great first step.

I would walk to the office. I was already pretty foggy but I was trying to not focus on it. Not that I could focus on much of anything. Chloe was coming in at the same time and I got to pet her very cute dog.

And then got right to work. I wanted to finish the map for this weekend. I couldn't 100% do that without Heather but I could at least start.

Once Heather got in though I very quickly realized I was not going to be able to make it through the day. I felt so unwell. Like I wasn't in as much pain but I felt very very wrong. Heather agreed it would be a good idea. But I wanted to finish the computer work. I would tell Sarah and Dachelle where the art stuff was. Helped talk logistics but I was also very scattered inside. But I did my best.

I would walk up to the feild to talk through the vendor locations with Heather. And I had a much better handle on where she was picturing everyone. I would go back to the office and completed the map and the accompanying email.

Dad called me and we talked for a bit. He sounded really happy. That made me feel good. It was nice to listen to him. Even if I was very much struggling to focus.

After I got off the phone I collected my stuff and myself and walked up to the art building to get my car. Of course I would get trapped by the field trip first graders coming up the hill. But that as fine, I didn't care, I felt a little bad that my timing was bad. I wished them all a good field trip and headed out.

Gabe called me and asked if I was joining them and I explained that I wasn't feeling good but let him know where the staffs and the art materials were. And he wished me well.

I did not go to the patient first I was picturing. But it was fine. There was only one person waiting and they took me back right away.

They took my blood and some swabs. I tried to explain the fogginess. I did make the doctor laugh when I said that this started on Tuesday and he goes yesterday? And I'm like no last week, I'm very good at ignoring problems. So I got a good grade in urgent care.

He gave me some medicine. Told me to keep an eye on it and go to the ER if the pain is bad. But like. The pain has been terrible. How much worse could it be? I wouldn't know when to go. I'm terrible at judging that.

I desperately wanted to go home though. I wanted to lay down.

Driving back home was a struggle. Very very hard. But I got back here and things were okay. I made a little food. Changed into a big t shirt. Put the AC on and laid down.

I wouldnt fall asleep for a long time. I was weirdly anxious about noises downstairs. Sweetp would keep me company. And I would fall asleep for hours.

When I woke up at 430 James was letting me know they were leaving work late because of a late group who insisted on going to the gift shop and then only spending $30. Annoying but whatever.

James would come home and I just wanted to hold them. It made me feel a little bit better. James said I sounded better. I did feel more normal, less foggy, my stomach doesn't hurt as bad.

I would join James downstairs. They made me a tofu, rice, and avocado bowl for dinner. I would mostly just want to drink my little soda and play my little video game. I did finish it. I got the good ending. We moved away and my Karin seemed happy. I don't know if I could handle the bad ending.

I would sit outside with sweetp. And thought about getting a new fence. And putting in more fake grass. And building a little water feature and just enjoying our little outside space. It's small. But I want to make to special.

I came upstairs to take a shower. And that made me feel pretty good. Now I am back in bed. And very much ready to go back to sleep. And hopefully tomorrow I will feel more like myself.

I hope you all are doing well. I love you all. Goodnight!

[derangedanomaly]

Whats lilians biggest priority

Keeping her friends and those she considers close near her.

Is she satisfied With her life

Pft, no Ofc not! Everything is just boring and her past doesn't help either

What character would she pick in dnd

A rouge duh

Where does lily feel most at home

Near blade or a friend

Whats their greatest skill

making necklaces out of body parts

How does she feel about romance

she loves it so much, would go feral for it from time to time.

Whos the person she loves the most

Blade.

What's their Fav food

MAC N CHEESE, the only other thing she'd go feral for

How self aware is lily

very self aware, why wouldnt she doodle or write her thoughts away if she wasnt?

Whats her ideal life

She has her ideal life! (Does she tho?)

How messy is her room

As messy as blades room is, she rarely leaves it

Has she ever broken someones Trust

OFC how else would she rack up kills?

How does she Deal with grief

...

Whats one thing lily would change about themself

Her scars.

Who would she main in Super smash bros

Splatoon girl

How forgiving is she

depends on her mood

Does she have allergies

nope none nada

How well does she keep secrets

Shes very good at keeping secrets, she managed to actually keep a few from blade

Whats her fav memory

Her old friends

Whats their most expensive thing

A probably something from blade

Who would they marry in stardew valley?

Hailey.

How does she feel abt religion

She knows deities and stuff like that exist, why else would she have her scars?

What does she hate in other people

Not liking flowers (unless ur kris)

Whats the easiest way to offend her

Make fun of her Hobbies or blade

What are her Hobbies

killing, making necklaces, stargazing, writing, doodling, and reading

Whats her self esteem like

horrible, she'll never except a compliment whats her worst memory

the day her au got destroyed

Whos her biggest inspiration

Blade.

Who would she kill without consequences? Why?

She already kills without consequences

How organized is she

As organized as blade is, but better than him

How would her friends describe them

She doesn't have friends rlly

Whats her biggest secret

Her scars.

If they could live anywhere in the world, where?

Probably outertale, it's so pretty

What traits is she attracted to

Blade.

How does she feel about lying?

She lies all the time, managed to pull a few lies on blade

If they could Go back in time and change smth, what would It be?

...

Who does she main in Mario kart?

Splatoon girl, all the way

Whats their biggest fear

Losing everything again

What makes them want to befriend someone?

Supporting her Hobbies

And heres a bit more lore regarding partners

Lilian has had MANY partners before blade, lily killed them all ofc because they were such a bore to lily. Each one was too nice for lilys taste which ended up with them dead in less than a day sometimes, blade has been the one and only that never bore her (other than her first partner)

I like how most of them are just- Blade. 💀✋

I love learning about y'alls OC's fr