#and i think what's even harder about it for both of them is that they just have no choice--and rather few allies besides each other

[potatoplace]

I Don't Feel Alive

The Afterthought: Chapter 4 | series masterlist

ACOTAR x Archeron!Reader

part 3 | part 5 | ACOTAR x reader masterlist

Story Summary: Starfall means dress shopping, and dress shopping means spending time with Nesta and Elain... the celebration is its own set of challenges that you struggle with.

Warnings: Body shaming, toxic family, slight disordered eating, suicidal ideation, self-deprecating thoughts (let me know if I missed anything)

Words: ~9.2k

Author's Note: it's heeeere I didn't get quite as far into the story as I wanted, but this was a good cut off point too. I really hope you guys like this one! I don't think I made it quite angsty enough, but there's still some. Plus a lil fluff to start. Enjoy! p.s. let me know who you think Y/N will end up with! Or anything else you have to say 🫶

18+ only pls

🤍🤍❣️🤍🤍

Your dreams were soft and fuzzy, filled with hazy scenes of you laying in bed and cuddling with your sisters, just like you had every night so long ago.

Waking felt similar, your body cocooned by soft blankets and warm arms, your own wrapped around someone's torso. You took a deep breath before opening your eyes, blinking them a few times to adjust to the sunlight filtering in through the curtains.

Mor's face was laying on the pillow in front of you, still relaxed with sleep. She looked even prettier like this, without stress and her busy schedule hanging over her.

You slowly unwrapped your arms from around her, taking care to not wake her. She deserved the extra sleep, with how much time she was going to be spending in the Hewn City through the end of the year.

You rolled onto your back, Mor's arms tightening around you as you did. It felt nice, being held again. In the past two years, you had forgotten how lovely it was to wake up feeling safe, snuggled up with your sisters.

The sound of Mor's soft, even breaths nearly lulled you asleep, before your eyes flew open.

Shoot! You had forgotten Nuala and Cerridwen's Solstice presents...

Mor's arms were gently pried from your body, which was harder to do than you had anticipated, but you managed without waking her.

You pulled on a dressing gown and quietly grabbed the two bags containing their presents. Your bedroom door snicked shut behind you, and you padded down the hallway, down the stairs, and to their bedroom. One knock had the door swinging open, this time greeted by Cerridwen.

"Y/N? Did you need something?" The wraith asked, her eyes widening slightly when she saw the presents in your hand. "Oh, you didn't have to do that, Y/N," she said, letting you into their room.

"But I wanted to, both of you have been so wonderful to me. And I already got them for you, so you have to open them," you insisted, placing each bag in their new owner's hands.

Nuala shook her head but opened her present anyways, a wide smile overtaking her face. "This is wonderful Y/N! Oh and you even got me metal threads, how did you know?!" The wraith embraced you tightly in her arms.

"And you remembered me complaining about my needles, oh mother, Y/N, you are the most thoughtful person!" Cerrdiwen exclaimed, stealing you from her sister's arms. "You will be the first person I make something for," she said after she loosened her hold on you.

"You don't need to do that..."

Cerridwen looked at you sharply. "Yes I do, and I will. Would you prefer a hat or scarf first? Oh, I'll just make you both," she finished, not giving you time to answer.

"Thank you in advance, I suppose," you said, blush dusting your cheeks. "I'm glad both of you liked your gifts."

"Of course we do! You pay so much attention to what you buy for people, it's so sweet," Nuala said kindly.

A heavier blush rose to your cheeks at their sweet words. "I just like to make people happy. Speaking of which, I should get back to Mor-"

"Back to me? But I'm right here!" Mor said brightly from behind you, causing you to jump in shock. "Sorry, Y/N, did I scare you?" Mor's arms wrapped around you from behind. "You left me, so I came down to find you. Want to do breakfast before everyone returns?"

You nodded in agreement, but turned your eyes to the twins. "Do you want to join us?"

"I'd love to," Nuala said, and Cerridwen nodded her head before replying the same.

"Girls' breakfast! Let's go!" Mor exclaimed, pulling you out of the twins' room, down the hall, and into the kitchen.

The twins trailed behind at a less excited pace, and met the two of you in the kitchen as Mor was pulling food out of the cold box. Bacon, sausages, eggs, broccoli, and cheese were taken out, and the four of you began making breakfast- most likely too much food for the four of you, but Mor insisted that once Cassian had returned he would eat any food that was left over.

You provided the tea, rushing upstairs to pick out an orange and ginger tea.

Breakfast with the three of them was lovely, only kind words and soft smiles being exchanged between you. It was much more peaceful than most of the meals you had taken at the dining table, and for that you were grateful.

Your sisters, their mates, and Azriel returned while the four of you were still gathered round the table, talking over the last of the second pot of tea you'd made.

"Good morning, ladies," Rhys said as he slipped into one of the chairs, pulling a glowing Feyre into his lap a moment later. "Did you have a good breakfast?"

You nodded in response, but it was Mor who spoke. "Yes, in a team effort we made far too much food. What about you lot?"

"It was good, but there wasn't enough," Cassian complained as he sat down, plucking a piece of bacon off of a plate. You smiled at his antics, you'd always found it funny how the male never seemed to be truly full.

"There's never enough for you, Cass," Nesta said as she took the seat next to him- directly across from you- and glared hard enough at you that the small smile on your face fell off in an instant.

"That's true, even though he devoured all of the sweets you gave him, Y/N, he was asking for more the moment they were gone," Lucien laughed as he did the same as Rhys, pulling Elain into his lap in the chair next to yours.

Fear clutched at your heart, though you knew it shouldn't. But the thought of Cassian enjoying the sweets you had made so much that he asked for more... You were scared of how Nesta might retaliate this time.

You tried to keep your breathing even as the conversation passed from one ear to the other, no words registering as they spoke.

"Y/N?" Feyre's soft voice broke through, pulling you out of your worried heart and back into the moment. "You're still up to go dress shopping with us tomorrow, right?"

Your eyes flicked up to her, then to her mate behind her who had a stern look on his face. You forced your eyes back to her slightly worried ones, focusing on the gentle blue that you'd known your whole life. "Uhm... Yes, I am," you managed to respond once you had played the question over in your head.

"Good! We were all thinking that noon would be a fine time to leave, that way the three of us can sleep in a bit after the revel tonight. Does that sound good to you?"

You could feel Nesta's burning gaze and Elain's judgemental eyes on you, stoking the fire of your fear.

"That sounds fine to me, Feyre," you replied, fingers working nervously over the painted irises on your teacup, focusing on the tiny ridges that the paint had created, your gaze now trained on them.

Better than seeing the hatred in Nesta's eyes.

"Perfect! Now that that's settled, I think we should all get to perfecting the revel for tonight," Feyre said, causing movement from all around the table.

Except you.

You sat, staring at your teacup until everyone was gone, disappeared off to their rooms or offices, or wherever they needed to be.

That left you to clear the plates, quickly washing the dishes and leaving them to dry in the rack. Your teapot was dried by hand, and filled with tea leaves and hot water once more. Thankfully you were able to retreat to your room without question, letting you escape back into your fantasy world you had created in your mind. Away from Nesta and Elain's combined ire, combined disdain for your very existence.

The lovely jasmine tea Azriel had gifted you helped you forget where you were, nearly convincing yourself you were back in the human lands, sipping tea in the living room with your father as you watched snow fall and bury that tiny little shack, falling asleep to the thought of it in your arm chair.

🤍🤍💔🤍🤍

The next morning, you forced yourself from the arm chair, stretching out your neck as you did.

Somehow, it was less comfortable than sleeping in the bathtub.

Your soreness abated as you slid into steaming water, bubbling with rose scented soap- something that you were absolutely delighted by, loving that no matter what, your body was completely covered by bubbles. You hardly caught sight of your skin at all, though you knew with the day's plans, you would be forced to confront how your body had changed.

You could feel it, every now and then. The way your bones protruded just a bit more than they had a month ago. How your joints got sore from sitting or laying faster than before. How pale you had become compared to this time last year, when you had a slight glow to your skin.

This year, you were pasty. As though you had been locked away from the sun the entire time.

A sigh left your lips as you finished your skincare, the one act of kindness to yourself that you always made time for.

Your body didn't matter. It's not as though you would find someone in Prythian. After all, fae and humans shouldn't mix...

Feyre had said something similar to you, so long ago about your past crush on Cassian.

Thankfully in that time, only one person had caught your eye... And you were certain that Irina would never stoop so low as to date you of all people.

Another long breath, lungs deflating.

No, you were here to be alone. Mor and Feyre had begun trying to engage with you, for that you were grateful. They were keeping you from losing all hope once more, and it was all you could do to keep that flame alive.

Especially knowing that your own issues with your body would be added to by whatever Nesta and Elain deigned to say to you. Feyre may have told them to behave, but that wouldn't stop them from throwing barbs at you, thinly veiled by concern or 'opinion.'

Your cycle had finished the night before, leaving you tired but free of its scent, which you were overly thankful for. Mor's present was very nice, but you did not want to try the underwear out while dress shopping with your sisters.

You forced yourself to get dressed and headed out of your room, noting the time on the clock in the hallway. Half past eleven.

That should be enough time for a pot of tea, maybe taken in the kitchen? Or should you retreat to your room...?

You turned around and headed back to your room for a packet of tea leaves, this one a plain green tea. After grabbing it, you made your way downstairs, ears listening for any sign of life.

Perhaps they were all asleep still, exhausted from the revel the night before.

The kitchen was empty when you entered it, and you quickly set to making your tea. A few minutes later you were sat at the island in the kitchen, a cushioned stool beneath you. The tea was lovely and calming, it's clean, slightly sea scented aroma perfect for clearing your head.

That was until Nesta and Elain sauntered in, already talking about what dress styles and colors they were hoping to find today. Their conversation didn't stop once as they walked straight past you and into the living room, the only evidence of them noticing you was the feeling of their eyes on your back.

Suddenly, your heart wasn't so calm.

Feyre walked in a minute later, rushing over to you once she saw you seated at the island. "How are you?"

"I'm... I'm okay. How are you, Fey? How's the baby?"

"Oh I'm just fine, baby was being a little fussy earlier but they're all settled now. Are you ready to leave?"

You finished the rest of your tea in a few quick gulps, enjoying the feeling of warmth it brought, and stood from your stool. "I just need to wash this, and then I'm ready," you said, already making your way to the kitchen sink. That was done in a flash, and soon Feyre was ushering the three of you out the door, Nesta and Elain immediately locking arms and taking the lead. You and Feyre trailed after them, your own arms locked together after Feyre forced her elbow around yours, smiling at you when you looked at her.

All too soon, you arrived at the dress store in the middle of the Palace of Thread and Jewels, greeted by the owner, Tarin.

"Ah, the High Lady and her sisters! This is a lucky day for me, that's for sure," Tarin exclaimed as she approached Feyre, clasping their hands together. "What can I help the four of you with?"

"We're looking for dresses for Starfall, I know we're cutting it a bit close-"

"Oh, nonsense! For the High Lady, even the day of Starfall is not too close. Please, look around and pick out what interests you, we can have them altered if need be," Tarin said, waving her arms at the racks upon racks of dresses filling the shop. "I can also have them made up in different colors, and with any variations of fabrics you may like. Any way I can please you, my dears, and I am happy to do it."

Nesta and Elain set into the sea of fabric together, keeping close to each other as they picked through the racks. You stayed near Feyre, feeling wildly out of your depth.

Shopping for Solstice was one thing, it was shopping for those you cared for. But this...

This was shopping for yourself, and you struggled more with that. Buying the hairpin that you currently had twisted in your hair was a rare action, and one of the first non-practical purchase you had made for yourself since coming to Velaris.

"How about this one?" Feyre asked you, drawing you from your thoughts as she waved a dark purple dress in front of you, it's long sleeves waving as she did so.

"It's pretty," you said absentmindedly, staring at the way the fabric shimmered in the light.

"Do you want to try it on?"

Your eyes snapped up to Feyre's. "Me?"

Feyre laughed softly. "Yes, you. The cut is similar to dresses you've worn before, and you like purple, right?"

You looked back down at the dress, taking in the modest bodice and neckline, and the long length of the dress. "I like the design, but I think I'd prefer a lighter color, Fey," you said politely, but grabbed the dress anyway. "I'll try it on, though."

"That sounds fine, we could always get it made in a lilac color if you'd like," Feyre suggested, her hands already moving over more dresses. "You can go put that at the dressing rooms, then come back and look for more, okay?"

You nodded and did as she suggested, returning to her side and half-heartedly looking over the dresses hung in front of you.

Many of them were far too revealing for your comfort, with low necklines and slits up the thigh. You did find a few you thought Feyre may like, gowns that reminded you of the shimmering night sky, and showed them to her when you happened across them.

"Oh, I love this one," Feyre gushed when she saw one you had handed her, this one a dark blue silk with a smattering of silver stars embroidered across the chest and stomach, with a sweetheart neckline. The length of the dress would like reach her mid thigh, and hang just slightly on the tiny bump that was forming on Feyre's stomach. "What do you think?" She asked, holding the dress up to her body. "High Lady of Night enough?"

Even held against her body, the dress looked perfect for her. "Definitely. You should try it on, Fey," you suggested.

"Hmm... I think I will, Y/N. Are you ready to try yours on? I think we've both got a decent number," Feyre said, slowly walking with you to the back of the shop, where the dressing rooms were located.

"I am, I think," you replied, though you were unsure of being anywhere within a ten foot radius of Nesta. Especially if she couldn't find a dress she liked...

Thankfully at the moment, Nesta and Elain were both in their own dressing rooms, trying on whichever ones they had picked out.

You and Feyre entered your own curtained room, the dresses that you had picked out hung on the hooks inside.

A quiet sigh, and you set to undressing yourself. There was no mirror in here, likely to force people out to get recommendations from their friends. The purple dress that Feyre had found was the first you tried on, the soft fabric flowing down your body like water.

It clung too much.

That was your first impression of the dress, even with the modest neckline and hem length. The soft fabric seemed to be molded to your body, and even a cursory feel of your hands over your hips had you wishing you had rejected Feyre's offer to go shopping. You did not want to hear what Nesta would say about the slight show of your bones in the dress.

"Y/N, are you almost done? We're waiting for you," Feyre said softly from the other side of the curtain, and you forced yourself out of the dressing room. "Oh, you look lovely! I think the color looks nice on you," Feyre said kindly, even as her eyes lingered over the sharp edges of your shoulders, the noticeable bump of your hip bones.

"Do you eat?" Nesta asked sharply from across the room, her nose wrinkled as she took you in. "You look like you're still living in poverty, Y/N."

Blood rushed to your cheeks at her words. They were true, though. "I eat. I've just been..." you paused, trying to find a word that wouldn't irritate your sister. "Stressed."

Nesta scoffed, but shut her mouth at a stern look from Feyre.

"The color is nice, Y/N," Elain said weakly. You forced a smile in her direction.

"Thank you, Elain. Your dress is lovely, green is a wonderful color on you," you said, taking in the flowing layers of fabric that made up the skirt of the dress, all in varying shades of dark green.

"Thank you," Elain replied, but moved her gaze to Nesta. "Nes, your dress is gorgeous. I think you should stick with that one, no need to look for others. You look perfect," Elain said excitedly, so different from her reaction to you.

You tried not to let it sting, turning instead to Feyre. She was clad in a floor length dress in black, tiny diamonds sewn on in patterns that you thought were constellations. There was a slit up to her mid thigh on both sides, allowing her to move freely. "This one is beautiful Fey, you look stunning!"

"You think? I still want to try on that last one you picked out, but I really like this one," Feyre said. "Oh, and I may have put an extra dress in your dressing room, please just try it on, I think you'll really like it. It's the pink one on the left hand side. Just, try it," Feyre begged you softly before returning to her dressing room, Nesta and Elain already back in their own.

Your mouth set into a line, you entered the curtained room again. As she said, there was a glittering pink gown hung on the left hand side when you walked in. Your mouth fell into a frown at the neckline.

Entirely too scandalous for you.

But still, you forced yourself to shed the purple dress and shimmy into the pink one as Feyre had asked. The long, flowing sleeves were off the shoulder, connected to the bodice by a small amount of fabric. The neckline of the dress was far lower than you were normally comfortable with, showing more cleavage than you ever had. The dress was loose fitting past your chest, the flowing skirts moving beautifully as you examined them. The pale rose pink of the fabric was one of your favorites, and didn't wash out your complexion. A difficult task, with how pale you are at the moment.

You walked out of the dressing room and stood in front of the mirror, assessing the dress. Your shoulders were far too bony, but even so... You felt beautiful in the dress, like a princess. The skirts reached your feet, billowing out around you. The neckline was lower than you wanted... But it looked lovely, and really, wearing one low-necked dress in your lifetime would be fine. A turn in the mirror showed you your prominent scapulae, half hidden by the fabric of the dress. That could be fixed by styling your hair in large ringlets, enough to cover most of your back. But the gown... The gown was lovely.

"Oh, I knew you would look perfect in that one!" Feyre cheered when she exited her dressing room in the dress you had picked for her. "You look amazing! Please tell me this is the one you want?" Feyre asked, standing by you as both of you stared in the mirror.

"You don't think it's too...?" You gestured to the neckline. "Revealing?"

Feyre shook her head. "No, mother no. I've worn much worse, you have nothing to worry about. It's just a little bit different than usual, is all. And it's perfect on you."

You tried to believe Feyre, and you did like the dress...

But then Nesta walked out. Her eyes narrowed and nose wrinkled as she gave you a once over, obviously displeased with how you looked.

She was so good at that. Tearing you apart with just one look.

"Your shoulders stick out," Nesta remarked as she took her place in front of the mirror, looking herself over. Her dress was made of shiny silver fabric, a corset in the same fabric serving as the bodice with thick straps wrapping over the tops of her shoulders.

You ignored her comment as best you could. "You look amazing in that dress, Nesta. The corset fits you perfectly."

A cold look over her shoulders, followed by a clipped, "Thank you."

Elain came out of her dressing room last, this time clad in a cream colored dress, looking every bit like the bride she was always destined to be.

"Oh, Elain! You look wonderful!" You said brightly as you took a step toward her, stopping when her gaze hit you- cold as ice. "This one looks very nice on you, but the last one looked amazing too," you said, more nervous now.

"Thanks," she answered coolly, setting her eyes on Feyre. "Feyre, that dress is stunning on you, and very fitting for Starfall."

You nodded in agreement, the dress was perfect for her. And just like you thought, it just barely highlighted the tiny baby bump Feyre had. The sight of it made you smile.

You were overjoyed that your sister had found a loving partner in Rhys, and was looking forward to motherhood.

"Thank you, 'Lain, I really like that it shows my bump just a bit, I think Rhys and I are ready to let our court know that we're expecting at Starfall," Feyre said excitedly, a hand stroking her belly.

"That's amazing, Feyre," Nesta said softly, sounding the kindest she had since they had been taken by Hybern.

"You'll be the talk of Starfall," Elain said, holding Feyre's hands in her own. "I'm so excited for you and Rhys!"

"I don't want to make the biggest deal out of it, after all, it's still early, but... Rhys is so excited about finally being a father, I had to talk him down from telling the Hewn City residents about it last night," Feyre sighed. "I am glad that I'm going to have all of my sisters with me, supporting me along the way, though. Thank you all for coming shopping today," Feyre said tearily.

"Of course, Feyre," you said, taking her in your arms. "We're always going to be by your side."

Elain's arms followed next, barely touching you but clutching Feyre close. "Yeah, Fey, we'll always be with you. Right, Nes?"

"Of course. I will always be here for you, Feyre," Nesta said, and reluctantly wrapped her arms around Feyre and Elain, one hand just barely touching you.

When you all pulled away, Feyre was crying softly, tears streaming down her face. You grabbed tissues from a nearby table, dabbing away the tracks of starlight on her face. "It's okay, Feyre. We're all here."

"I-I know," Feyre sniffled. "I just... I love you all so much. I can't imagine life without any of you." She let you wipe her eyes, dabbing away the last of her tears after she collected herself. "Now, let's try on the rest of the dresses, we shouldn't waste too much of Miss Tarin's time."

The four of you continued to try on dresses, with much of the same behavior. You attempted to compliment your sisters, only to be met with cold responses. If they did talk to you, it was to point out how the dress didn't suit you.

You still chose the pink dress that Feyre had chosen for you, Feyre choosing the blue one that you had picked for her. Nesta picked the silver gown. Elain had taken the longest to decide, eventually choosing the green dress she had tried on first.

Feyre had argued over the payment with Tarin, demanding that she pay full price for the rushed orders, eventually winning the argument. Nesta and Elain had left by that point, taking off to some vague location that contained books.

That left you and Feyre, walking slowly across the bridge that would lead you to the Rainbow. She wanted to look at paints, and maybe get something special for the canvases that you had gotten her.

And that's how you found yourself entering Irina's shop once more, your heartbeat kicking up when you realized it. Feyre led you to the wall of paint, her fingers hovering over the tubes as she searched for the colors she wanted.

Soft footsteps approached from the back of the shop, and you were met with Irina, her face just as beautiful as you remembered, her smile just as warm.

You could have sworn your heart skipped a beat.

"Ah, Feyre and Y/N, it's lovely to see both of you," Irina's smooth voice said. "You came in just in time, I was about to close up early."

"Lucky us!" Feyre said, eyes still glued to the paint tubes. "Any special occasion?" She asked Irina teasingly as she pulled a few out of the selection.

"Oh, hush you," Irina scolded, swatting Feyre gently on the arm. "You know that I have a date with Rivin tonight."

*Oh.

Your heart sank.

"Well, I wanted to make sure the plans were still on! You know I was rooting for the two of you to get together," Feyre said. You grabbed the paint tubes she had picked up from her, pushing her slender hand away when she attempted to take them back. Your fingers rolled over the cap, giving you a sensation to focus on besides your crushed... crush. "The way the two of you danced around each other since I first met you was adorable- I'm so glad you're going out now!"

"Well, I'll only be able to go out with her if you choose what you want soon, or she'll think I stood her up!" Irina laughed, her skin shifting colors under the light.

"Oh, fine, fine," Feyre said, pulling out three more tubes of paint, all shimmering metallic shades. You followed her as she followed Irina to the back counter, placing the tubes on it. Soon enough, the paints were rung up and bagged, and clutched tightly in your arms. "Thank you, Irina. I hope your date goes well."

"Oh, I do as well!" Irina said as she walked the two of you out of the store, locking the door behind her. "I hope the two of you have a lovely rest of your day as well."

"You as well, Irina," you said quietly, nodding your head to her before she turned to leave. She flashed you a dazzling smile, her eyes a bright pink today.

So pretty.

"I'll see the two of you around!" She yelled, waving goodbye over her shoulder.

You and Feyre began the walk home, arms linked together one more, your other balancing the bag of paint.

"How do you know Irina?" Feyre asked once you were crossing the Sidra, taking careful penguin steps so neither of you would fall on the slippery bricks.

Color rushed to your cheeks, though they were already pink from the cold. "Oh, I went into her shop to get one of your birthday presents. The canvases and all," you explained.

"Ahh, that makes sense. She's nice, and she has a great selection!" Feyre said excitedly as the two of you passed through the door of the River House. "I cannot wait to start the first three panels! I'm not quite through my third month yet, but I know some of what I want to do for it."

"I'm glad you like it Fey! I can't wait to see what you make for each one." You kicked off your boots after unlacing them, and let Feyre pull your jacket off your arms, you doing the same for her after. "I think I'm going to head up to my room," you said quietly after you hung up your coats and put your boots on the rack.

"Oh, alright. I... I hope you didn't feel too uncomfortable while shopping," Feyre said. You knew what she meant: with Nesta and Elain.

"I was... fine," you lied half-heartedly.

Feyre stared at you, and you would have thought she was reading your mind, but you didn't feel anything similar. "If you say so. You know you can talk to me, right?" You nodded. "Okay... Well, I'll let you get to your room. Did you want me to start water for tea? I was going to make a cup for myself anyway," Feyre offered, a soft smile on her face.

You nodded again. "That would be nice, thank you, Fey."

Feyre's smile broadened. "I'll see you in the kitchen, sissy."

You went to your room to grab another packet of tea from the sampler Azriel had gotten you- so far, you were a fan of every blend he had chosen. You were hoping today's choice of a rose petal tea would be just as lovely.

The trip back to the kitchen was quick, with no sign of your other two sisters. Good. You weren't in the mood to see their sneering faces again so soon.

Tea was made quickly, thanks to Feyre boiling water for you. You gave her a hug before returning upstairs, tray balanced in your arms.

Just before you opened your door, the door to Rhys's study swung open, Azriel emerging from it.

*Oh!

He came down the hallway, and once he was near the stairs you finally got your brain to move past your anxiety of starting a conversation.

"Hi, Azriel, would you uhm... Would you wait here for just a moment?" You asked. "I have that Solstice present I got for you."

"Alright," Azriel replied quietly, moving closer to your doorway. You went inside quickly, fishing the already wrapped box out from under your bed, and a moment later you were back in front of him, offering the gift to him.

"Open it," you said, pushing the box into his hands.

Soon enough, the dagger was in his hands, his fingers running over the inlaid crescent moon made of sapphires, then over the blade itself. "This is wonderful, Y/N, thank you," Azriel said, sincerity in his tone. "I happen to have gotten a gift for you as well." A moment later, shadows materialized, depositing a festive, glittery evergreen tree colored bag in his hand.

"Oh, Azriel, you didn't have to-"

"Open it," Azriel said simply, transferring the handles over to your hand in a quick movement.

You narrowed your eyes playfully at him, but opened the bag. Inside was a beautiful, hooded cloak that would reach at least your mid back, made of a soft, white yarn. Beneath it was a matching scarf, little tassels on the ends, and a pair of mittens. They even had a small button on the top, allowing for the and of the mitten to be lifted and become a sleeveless glove if needed.

"Its made of rabbit fur," Azriel said quietly as you ran your fingers over the fabric. You looked up at with him with wide eyes. "Oh- they just brush or shave the rabbits, don't worry, no fluffy creatures were killed in the making of your gift," Azriel reassured you.

You let out a breath of relief. "Good. Good. It's a beautiful present, Azriel, thank you. Could I- could I give you a hug?" You asked nervously, regretting the question the moment you asked it. "I mean, you don't have to-"

"That would be fine." You blinked up at him. That would be- You allowed yourself to wrap your arms around him, noticing how stiff he was for the first few seconds before relaxing, his own arms coming up around you.

He smelled nice. Like cedar wood and... And night? Whatever it was, it was nice. Calming.

You both retracted your arms at the same time, pulling apart. A soft smile at him and one last thank you, and then you were in your room once more.

You were happy that he liked your present, but the slight wash of warmth it had given you was quickly chased away by the rest of your day.

Nesta and Elain... You were sure that they would never look at you like a sister again.

And Irina... It was such a silly crush that you had, based almost entirely on how pretty she was. You had been taken with her instantly, yes, breath catching in your throat. But that... That meant nothing.

Especially with you still being... Human. Frail. Less than a century from dying.

No fae, no matter how they looked, would ever take you as their wife, that you were sure of. You only had a couple of decades left of looking youthful, and perhaps only a few more past that before illness would inevitably take you.

A heavy sigh left your lips as you sat at your desk, a cup of tea poured out in the next moment.

At least tea could never not choose you...

🤍🤍❣️🤍🤍

The next week and a half passed dreadfully slowly, spent mostly in the solitude of your room.

Feyre came by when she could make time, the two of you sharing a pot of tea and the occasional snacks that she would bring.

Mor was stuck in the Hewn City, all the way until the morning of Starfall, when she would have a slight reprieve. She had already promised to come and spend the morning with you to get ready and catch up.

But until then, or until Feyre could make time... You stuck to your room.

Apparently your giving a joint present to Nesta and Cassian, and Elain and Lucien cause some extra anger in the two of them towards you. Nesta's glare had seemed extra fiery, and Elain had appeared perched on Lucien's lap more often than not when you did happen to wander into the living room.

You tried not to let it get to you, you did... But between the extra tension at home and the sadness in your heart from your silly little crush... It was weighing you down.

The days ticked past, counting down to an event that you weren't particularly excited for...

The morning of Starfall arrived, bringing with it the bright ball of energy that was Mor.

"Y/N!" Mor shouted, startling you awake. "Wake up! Wake up wake up! I'm here, I'm here. Please. Wake up. I've missed you!"

"Oh my gods, Mor, I'm awake," you groaned, rubbing your hands over your eyes. "Do you know a gentle way to wake people up?" You asked as you sat up, pushing your hair away from your face.

"Mm, not really. But, my way is super effective," Mor said cheekily, grinning when you stood up in the tub to glare at her with no fire in your eyes. "Come over here, sweets," she demanded, patting the bed next to her. You went over to her, collapsing onto the bed next to her, and swatted at her with a pillow in revenge for her waking you so abruptly. "So, how have the past two weeks been for you?"

"Oh... You know... Boring..." You said quietly. "How's it been for you? Is everyone behaving?"

Mor narrowed her eyes at you for a brief moment, before accepting your change of subject. "Oh, most everyone has been fine... I've been trying very hard to change the city's voting system plus helping plan their Starfall event, so my hands have been full every waking moment. And Keir has been an absolute pain..." Mor sighed. "He doesn't like that he's losing most of his control by the city moving to a full population vote rather than just the nobles, but it's going to happen whether he likes it or not. But for me, that just means him being more of an ass."

"I'm sorry Mor. I wish that someone else was able to help you..."

"Feyre offered, but, well, with her being pregnant that's not the best idea. And I'm sure Amren would enjoy going solely to terrify the citizens, but that's not exactly... What we're aiming for. And I can do it, and I will, I just wish my stupid father wasn't a factor." Mor sighed dramatically and flopped back on your bed, arms flung out to the sides.

One smacked into your thigh and you laughed, pushing it off of you and back over to Mor's side. "I know something that will cheer you up," you offered.

"Oh?" Mor asked, peeking over at you. "And what would that be?"

"Doing our skincare!" You answered brightly, using the same tactic that she always did with you.

"Oh, I should have guessed!" Mor giggled. "That sounds like a wonderful idea, sweets. Let's get to it!"

"Wait- let me take a quick bath first, and then I'll be all ready for it."

Mor nodded. "That sounds fine, I'll go make some tea and grab some breakfast for us."

The morning moved quickly from there- too quickly, in your opinion, your alone time with Mor slipping away so fast. After you had bathed, the two of you did your skincare, doing an extra mask and moisturizer to give yourselves an extra glow.

Into the second pot of tea Mor started doing your makeup once she had seen your dress. She spent nearly an hour on you alone, taking her time to perfect your eyeshadow and lipstick, getting just the right about of blush coloring your cheeks. You felt beautiful, seeing yourself like that in the mirror.

Mor's own makeup didn't take near as long, but she was even more beautiful than usual, with the extra time she had put in.

The two of you spent a bit more time together before she had to leave and return to the Hewn City for a bit longer, to make sure their celebration started smoothly.

"I'll see you at the House of Wind later, yes?" Mor asked before she left your room, a stern eye on you.

You sighed. "Yes, Mor, I will see you at the House of Wind. I *won't skip out on the celebration, I promise."

Mor nodded in approval. "Good. I'll see you in a few hours, Y/N."

She breezed out of your room, leaving you alone once again.

You sighed, and sat down on your bed. Then collapsed back onto it.

Just a few more hours, and your anxious anticipation could subside.

Starfall would be fine this year. You will stay away from Nesta, Elain, and their mates, and instead stick around Feyre, Mor, and possibly Azriel, if he didn't seem too annoyed by your presence.

🤍🤍💔🤍🤍

Four hours later, you were dressed and ready to leave for the House of Wind. Your hair was half pinned up by the hairpin you had bought yourself, half left down in loose curls that conveniently covered most of the bones in your back.

There was little you could do to cover your shoulders, what with the style of the dress, but you felt pretty nonetheless. The gown had been taken in slightly, just enough to fit more snugly and leave you feeling more comfortable with such an exposed neckline, more secure. And the way the skirts flowed around your feet made you feel more graceful than you were.

Overall, you felt decent about yourself tonight. Your hair had cooperated, not making you late for the start of the event by taking too long to style. And the makeup that Mor had done was perfect, just enough to enhance your natural features.

You had even opted for heels tonight, little sparkly silver boots that Feyre had gotten for you, in case you wanted something more than flats to wear.

When you finally left your room, you made your way downstairs where Feyre, Rhys, and Azriel were waiting in the entryway, seemingly for you.

"Oh, Y/N, you look beautiful!" Feyre exclaimed when she caught sight of you, rushing over to pull you into her arms. "I just love this dress on you!"

"Yes, both of you look lovely, but Feyre...?" Rhys started.

"Oh, shoot! We need to get going, Y/N, but Azriel will take you up to the House when you're ready!" Feyre said brightly, leaving the house a moment later and letting her mate take her in his arms, shooting of into the sky together.

Your heart dropped. Flying? You had only flown a few times, usually to get to the House of Wind as you would be tonight. It still terrified you as badly as it did on the first time, leaving you shaking every time.

"Are you ready to leave?" Azriel asked, pulling you from your thoughts. You nodded, and followed him outside, even as you felt like your heart was in your throat at the prospect of flying.

He gently pulled you into his arms, one hooked beneath your knees and the other supporting your back. Your arms instinctively flew around his neck, ready to hold on for dear life.

Not that you didn't trust Azriel to keep you alive, just... You weren't made for flying, you don't think.

The push off from the ground had you closing your eyes, squeezing them shut tight. You could feel your heart racing, trying to leave your chest as you were overtaken by fear.

"You look beautiful tonight," Azriel said, his deep voice in your ear causing your eyes to snap open.

"You don't have to lie..."

Azriel let out a soft breath. "I'm not lying, you look beautiful tonight. Pink is your color, I believe," He said, his voice right in your ear again. Color rushed to your cheeks at his compliment, and you smiled- small, but there.

A moment later, he had landed solidly on the ground, carefully placing you on your feet.

You'd nearly forgotten you had been flying.

Soon after distancing yourself from him, Rhys rushed over to pull him away for some reason or another. Which left you standing alone in the House of Wind, for the first time since Bounty Day.

Anxiety grew in your gut again, making you feel queasy.

Especially when you saw the feast, laid out over that same massive dining table.

You turned away from the banquet, navigating instead to Feyre's side. Already she was surrounded by a few citizens, but you were able to make your way in for a hug from your sister. Soon though, more far crowded in, and following the arrival of Rhys you broke away from your sister, no longer feeling welcome next to them.

You wandered off, searching for Mor in the ever growing sea of people, with no luck yet.

Azriel, the other person you knew that could be safe to talk to, was occupied talking to a very pretty redhead, and also next to Nesta and Cassian.

Definitely a no.

After a while, you filled a small plate with food, picking at the smoked meats, cheeses, and some pieces of fruit until you couldn't stand it anymore, taking the plate back into the kitchens.

Back here, it was quieter. A few stragglers were wandering in and out between the balconies nearby, but you paid them no mind as you got a glass of cool water from the sink.

You let yourself take a few deep breaths to calm yourself, to bring yourself out of your anxiety. It helped, but not much.

It was enough to allow you to wander back out into the party, passing more than enough males who eyed you up and down, leaving you nervous. You were almost tempted to grab a glass of wine, but you knew all that was provided was faerie wine, something that you never wanted to try after hearing some of Feyre's tales involving it.

You knew this dress was a mistake. A beautiful one, yes, but it left you feel exposed unlike every before.

Every few minutes, you circled back to where Feyre was, seeing if there was an opportunity for you to ask her to take you back to the River House, or have someone take you back. But every time you passed, there was somehow more people crowded around Feyre and her mate.

Mor was nowhere to be seen two hours into the party, leaving you adrift in the sea of fae that had overtaken the House of Wind. You were overwhelmed and feeling so alone, the noise of the party drowning out any coherent thoughts you could have.

Just make it to the Starfall, and you can go.

That's what you told yourself for an hour as you continued your slow circles of the main rooms, attempting to find Mor or see if Feyre was available. No luck for you, though.

Cheers erupted as the first streaks of glowing green overtook the sky, giving you your cue to leave.

You didn't care that it was cold and snowy out, you just needed away from the noise, the lights, the everything that always surrounded you.

The stairs were hell in your heeled boots, but you dealt with them, forcing yourself to go one step at a time. By some miracle, you didn't fall, merely ending the massive flight of stairs by sitting down at the bottom to catch your breath.

Tears had begun falling down your cheeks at some point, driven by the cold and how lonely you feel, how forgotten you felt yet again.

You finally pushed yourself off of the cold stone, the bottom of your dress now wet with snow.

The forest would give you the peace you wanted, though you wouldn't venture near as far as you had last time. No, tonight you just wanted a bit of peace, a bit of time with only natural light shining upon you, even if it was enhanced by the cosmic phenomenon going on above you.

Your feet carried you to the edge of Velaris, the forest in your sights. A sigh of relief left you as you saw the trees, so reminiscent of the ones you had grown up near.

And then you crashed into a wall.

"What the-?" You rubbed at your nose, attempting to soothe the pain of crashing into- whatever you had crashed into. You held your hands out, shocked to find that they rested perfectly on an invisible force in front of you. Nothing that you tried let your hands pass that point, and a kick at the area led to the same results- a foot that you knew would hurt badly in the morning.

You couldn't *believe it.

They had locked. You. In. They had taken any amount of freedom you could have, no matter how fleeting it would inevitably be.

Ice cold rage and swells of disappointment left you a sobbing mess as you stumbled away from the wall of your cage, following the Sidra with no true destination in mind.

You would not be going back to that house. You couldn't. Not when- when... Not when Feyre had okayed you being locked inside of the city like nothing more than a pet, like you weren't a person with feelings and needs and desires.

You were sick of being alone, sick of feeling alone even in a sea of people. You had no one who was just yours. And that would never change in Velaris, would never change unless you were around humans once more.

"Y/N!" A warm voice said, drawing your eyes from the snow covered ground to the person it came from. "How did the recipe I gave you turn out? Good?" Sevenda asked, her smile turning to a frown when she saw your tear covered, blotchy face. "Is everything okay, dear?"

Another sob left your lips, despite your attempts to quiet it. "I- I- No," you managed to get out.

"Oh, come in here for a minute, Y/N, you're freezing!" Sevenda said, pulling you into the back of her restaurant. She pushed a cup of tea in front of you, which you gladly accepted, your fingers warming instantly from the mug. "Did you want to talk about it?" She asked after a couple of minutes.

You shook your head, but sighed and answered anyways. "I just... I don't belong in that house, I don't belong in Velaris... I can't... I can't keep pretending like I do, acting like I'm happy to be there... I need..." You sighed again. "I need out of there." And then an idea struck you. "I- I know this would be a lot to ask, and that you likely don't need help from a human but... Do you happen to need help here? I could do anything you need, I just..." You trailed off.

"You need out?" Sevenda asked, sympathy on her face and in her voice. "Well, I did lose one of my prep cooks to the Continent recently, he went to study new styles of cooking. If you are serious about this, I will have you show up at nine tomorrow morning. Okay, dear?"

You nodded your head vigorously. "I would be so grateful, Sevenda, truly, thank you so much." You let the older fae pull you into her arms, the gentle hug enough to stop your tears for the moment.

"Are you going to be alright, dear?" She asked once she pulled away, looking you in the eyes. You nodded your head, not trusting your voice at the moment. "Okay. Let me get you a cup of tea to go, and you should go straight home, hmm?"

You let her do just that, accepting the hot jasmine tea in a lidded cup that she made you promise to bring back in the morning. After saying goodbye, you set off in the opposite direction of the River House.

No matter how cold you were, you didn't feel like going back there yet.

Some time later, you found yourself on a cliffside, overlooking the bay of Velaris. Your tea was long gone by now, any warmth it had given you gone with it.

The rocks down below looked so inviting, as though they would welcome you in an instant. You let out a long, heavy breaths, tears beginning to flow again.

You wish you had the strength to jump.

Instead, you sat on the edge of the cliff, booted feet dangling over the side. The snow underneath you was frigid, leaving you colder than before. But still, you sat and watched the waves, and listened to the crash on the rocks below.

"Y/N?" A deep voice asked from behind you, but you paid it no mind. Maybe they would leave you alone. "Y/N?" The voice asked again. After another length of silence from you, the person took another approach, and sat next to you instead, their own long legs dangling over the edge. A warmth behind you, and less wind hitting you after the male readjusted. "Do you want to talk about it?"

You still didn't answer.

Instead, you were surprised by gentle hands winding a scarf around your neck in two loops, then a cloak being fastened over your head and buttoned in the front, and finally a pair of mittens slid over your hand.

Azriel didn't make you talk, didn't make you do anything. He simply let you take the time you needed to recover, to stop your tears.

A while later, the waves started to lull you to sleep, your head tilting to the side until Azriel pulled it to his arm, letting you rest against him. Your eyes fluttered shut, your cheek soaking in the warmth of him, even through the hood of your cloak.

It was only when you nearly pitched forward off the cliff that Azriel insisted on taking you back to the River House, or at least to a café where you could warm up.

"I suppose..." your voice cracked. "That going back to the River House would be... fine... for now," you whispered, glad that he didn't force you to speak any more. A moment later and you were pulled through shadows, similarly to how Nuala and Cerridwen travelled but... different in a way. Almost warmer, you would say.

The two of you appeared in front of your bedroom door, the warm air shocking your skin and making you feel clammy.

"I'll have my shadows bring you a pot of tea, feel free to take a bath or change so you can warm up, Y/N. I hope you have a better night that it has been so far," Azriel said quietly before turning to leave.

"Thank you, Azriel," you croaked just before he turned to go down the stairs. He gave you a small smile and nodded before continuing on his way.

You entered your bedroom, tears falling almost instantly once you were alone again. You forced yourself to strip, hanging up the pink gown to dry and setting your sparkly boots near the door. The bath felt soothing, at least, warming you to the core by the time you got out.

And there, awaiting you on your desk, was a fresh pot of the lavender and chamomile tea that you preferred for sleep.

A few extra tears fell at that small act of kindness, and you helped yourself to a still steaming cup of it, settling into the armchair that you had perpetually pulled near your window, a throw blanket across your body.

Sleep claimed you before you had even finished your second cup of tea.

🤍🤍💔🤍🤍

General Taglist: @lilah-asteria @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao

Series Taglist: @darkbloodsly @angelbunny222 @uniquedreamsblog @romantasyreader28 @that-one-bibliophole @idkmyoldonewasembarassing @deathtopistachios @saltedcoffeescotch @sleepylunarwolf @babypeapoddd @kingshitonly @bravo-delta-eccho @bluebries81 @liahaslosthermind @deepestmentalitypersona @historygeekqueen @hermajestysworld @marina468 @esposamultifandom @astrokitty18 @larissa01-blog2 @acourtofbatboydreams @angel-graces-world-of-chaos @thelov3lybookworm @weekendlusting @dxjaaaa @thejediprincess56 @casiiopea2 @butterfix

[purpamint]

Even after two years this is still one of my favorite comics I’ve made, and since it’s the holiday season, here’s the text version of it I wrote for it today that has some fun bonus details that I’m pretty happy with:

Back when Kris and Noelle back were both kids, they were opening presents while sitting by a Christmas tree. Kris is wearing their red horns that they supposedly wore a lot as a kid. Kris opens their present and reveals a green and yellow striped sweater. After Kris opens their present, Noelle cheerily says, “Merry Krismas! Dess and I worked together to make you this sweater!!”

Kris looks in awe, exclaiming, “WOAH!! so cool....”

Noelle gives Kris a thumbs up with a happy expression, saying “why don’t you try it on?”

“ok!”

Asriel and Dess are both looking at Kris now that they’ve tried on their new sweater. The sweater is visibly way too big for Kris.

Asriel is smiling, but his expression betrays the fact that he is a bit worried that the sweater doesn’t fit Kris, however he is still trying to stay on the bright side.

Asriel expresses, “It’s a bit oversized…”

Dess, focusing more on Kris’s enjoyment of the present than the size, looks to Asriel and assuredly states, “They seem to like it!” She proudly stands with her hands on her hips with a satisfied smile.

Kris wears their sweater with a delighted smile as if they were as content as one could be. It was as if in nothing the world could be better than as small as sweater made just for them. It was as if they would be fine if this one moment lasted forever.

Dess, continuing what she was stating earlier, laughs, “Hah! It doesn’t matter if it fits as long as they like it!” Clearly pleased at how much Kris seems to enjoy their present, she remains unbothered by the minor issue of the size. Asriel, less concerned after realizing Kris’s genuine joy at the sweater, finally agrees with Dess, albeit still reserved “I guess so!”

Many years later…

The world is completely black. It feels as if so much time has passed. The darkness only brings back those warm distant memories. The darkness feels like daydreaming with eyes closed. Those dreams feel real yet so fragile…

Noelle sees Kris while at school

Casually starting a passing conversation with an old friend, she laughs, “Woah Kris… talk about a flashback!! Fa-ha!”

It was like she was suddenly propelled millions of years back in to the past, reminded of both the embarrassing and the bittersweet moments.

Caught up in the moment of remembrance— almost as if all the years of distance between the two teens had suddenly melted away to potentially forge some sense of reconnection— she continues, “You haven’t worn that since…” Quickly trailing off.

Reality comes back like a tsunami of ice water over a blacksmith’s freshly re-heated piece of iron. The once re-shapable metal is now chilled and harder to change.

Now, the darkness has faded out.

Noelle couldn’t help but wonder about Kris sometimes. Why wear that sweater…? Not that it’s a bad thing, but it hasn’t been worn in ages…

With an inquisitive expression, she politely asks, “Any reason why you’re wearing it?”

Kris sits at their school desk slightly leaning forward laying their chin on their right hand. Their other arm lays on their desk as if they were partially crossing their arms. They do not look directly at Noelle. They almost appear as if they are not looking at anything at all— or at least not towards anything in particular. They have an introspective expression. Like they are thinking about old friends, old memories, old dreams… at least that’s what it seems.

“I guess I have been feeling nostalgic lately…” Kris replies. An indirect response like that from them was not unusual.

…but…

It seemed like that they were being honest.

It’s generally hard to read them, it was even hard to read them back when they were more open…but Noelle is so familiar with them that it is almost natural, even if the skill has a little bit of rust.

Kris looks softly at their sweater. It’s been so long since they’ve worn it, but they still remember the day they got it. They wished that day would last forever back then. Sometimes they still do. It felt so big back then, but now it matches their size much closer, even if it is a bit baggy in some places. But it’s honestly more comfortable that way… they never minded oversized clothes anyways.

They loved it so much because it was made with care, just for them.

It’s their favorite sweater…

It fits almost perfectly…

Little deltarune comic for the holidays! (About the Holidays too, wow) This took a bit longer to make than expected because I chose to make it on paper, so I had to do a bit of color adjustments to make it look right in the photos. Despite it’s lateness hope y’all like it! :D

[onehundredelevven]

I love what you did with Toji during y/n’s birth. Could I maybe request one where y/n breaks the JJK men’s hand from the labor pains? I’d love to see their reactions lol I feel like Nanami and Sukuna would take it like a champ but Satoru and Toji’s voice would crack 😂

U ask, I give

---

Chaotic labor room scenarios for the JJK men.

cw. JJK men being chaotic and Satoru's dramatic arse, and broken hands

---

Satoru Gojo

“Babe, you’re doing great—OW, OW, OW!”

Satoru’s voice cracked like glass as you crushed his hand with a strength you didn’t know you had. He winced, his signature cocky grin wiped clean off his face.

“Are you seriously whining while I’m the one giving birth?” you snapped, glaring at him through your contraction.

“I think you just shattered my bones,” he whimpered, blinking back tears like a kicked puppy. “Do you hate me that much?”

“Right now, yes!”

He pouted dramatically, but when he looked down at you, sweat on your brow and pain in your eyes, his expression softened. “Alright, alright. Crush my other hand if you have to. I can survive for you and the kid.”

You didn’t hesitate to grab his other hand as another contraction hit. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you!”

☆☆☆

Suguru Geto

Geto didn’t even flinch when your grip tightened like a vice. If anything, he just smiled down at you with that calm, reassuring presence he always carried.

“Do you want me to get you some ice chips?” he asked, his voice completely steady despite the audible pop from his knuckles.

“ARE YOU EVEN HUMAN?” you screamed, half in agony, half in disbelief at his composure.

“I’ve been through worse,” he replied coolly, brushing your hair out of your face. “Though you are quite strong, I’ll give you that.”

You let go of his hand, panting through the contraction, and saw his fingers twitch slightly. “Doesn’t that hurt?”

“Only a little.” He smirked. “But it’s nothing compared to what you’re doing right now. You’re amazing, you know that?”

☆☆☆

Kento Nanami

Nanami’s hand was practically vibrating under your grip, but he sat stiffly beside you, not a single wince or grunt escaping him. The man was a fortress.

“You can… let go if it hurts,” you offered between labored breaths.

“Don’t worry about me,” he said firmly, though the sweat beading on his forehead betrayed him. “Focus on yourself.”

Another contraction hit, and you let out a guttural groan, clamping down harder. This time, Nanami’s jaw tightened, and his free hand gripped the armrest of his chair hard enough to leave marks.

“Okay, maybe I’ll need a splint later,” he admitted, voice as calm as ever.

☆☆☆

Ryomen Sukuna

“You call that a squeeze?” Sukuna barked out a laugh, sitting beside you like this was all a walk in the park.

“I hate you,” you hissed, crushing his hand harder out of pure spite.

“Go ahead, brat. Try harder,” he taunted, his grin widening as you gave it your all. “You’re going to need more than that to—”

CRACK.

His smirk faltered, his eye twitching as he pulled his now-clearly-broken hand back. “...You’re lucky I love you.”

“Shut up and hold my hand again!”

“Yeah, no.” He offered his other hand instead, still smirking through the pain. “I’ve got two. Let’s see if you can break them both.”

☆☆☆

Toji Fushiguro

“AH, SH—” Toji’s yell was cut short as your grip sent a sharp pop through his knuckles.

“Toji, don’t you dare yell louder than me right now!” you growled.

He bit his tongue, gritting his teeth against the pain. “Alright, fine, but damn, woman. How are you this strong while pushing out a kid?”

“Because I have to deal with you every day,” you snapped.

Toji let out a strangled laugh, his voice wobbling. “Tch, fair enough. Just... don’t tell the kid their mom broke my hand, alright?”

[captain039]

Blood, Fur and Magic PART 11

Vampire Viktor x reader x Werewolf Jayce

Warnings: Vampire things, werewolf things, light swearing, possessiveness, smut, sexual, intimacy, poly relationship, angst, violence swearing

Previous part <-

You feel rattled from what you saw in your dream, trying harder to create the bond with Jayce and feeling all the more defeated when you can’t. You spend more time alone now when you realise it’s not working, it just suddenly happened with Viktor and now you can’t give that same bond to Jayce making your heart clench in your chest. You stand in the shower watching the water at the bottom of the shower mind a mess, muscles unable to relax under the warm water. You stand there lost in thought before you sigh and get out, you dry your hair with a towel before drying yourself off and wrapping that towel around your body and stepping out the bathroom. You jump a bit when you see Viktor and Jayce on the edge of your bed before a small frown is on your face.

“Did you need something?” You ask. Jayce looks at you and beckons you over, you raise a small eyebrow but walk over. You sit in between them both holding your towel to your chest so it doesn’t slip off.

“You couldn’t wait till I got dressed?” You joke softly seeing the small red blush that creeps up Jayce’s neck.

“No he couldn’t” Viktor teases and Jayce glares at you both.

“Look, before you both start poking at me, I just- we’re worried about you” Jayce says running a hand through his hair.

“Oh” you mutter shoulders sagging. You’re tempted to keep it all in, but when has that done anyone any good?

“I’m just frustrated” you say.

“About the bond?” Jayce asks.

“The lack of one” you clench your jaw before you sigh.

“It’ll come” Jayce mutters leaning to you resting his head against yours.

“What if it doesn’t?” You whisper.

“It will” Jayce says so certain and confident it almost makes you believe it.

“For now, I want you to relax” he says lowly in your ear and you sag a bit not catching his meaning, thinking about cuddling up in the bed instead.

“Little Láska” Viktor chuckles smoothly and you frown.

“A different form of relaxation” he says and you look to him confused before it clicks and you flush, sometimes you forget he can share your thoughts.

“Oh” you stutter out. You feel like a teenage virgin for crying out loud, your body warm, your stomach clenching in anticipation.

“Would you like that?” Jayce asks lifting his head off yours his golden eyes glowing intensely.

“Would I like- relaxation?” You repeat stupidly. Viktor chuckles behind you and you glare at the vampire.

“Among other things” Jayce says huskily eyes trailing down your form. You grip the towel a little closer feeling rather exposed compared to the two clothed men.

“If you’re uncomfortable we don’t have to, we can cuddle” he says seeing your hesitation.

“No” you say too quickly and flush even more Jayce’s eyes widen before he smirks a bit. You can practically feel Viktor’s cocky smirk beside you as well.

“Stop it” you huff and Jayce chuckles softly.

“I’m not good with- this” you gesture vaguely.

“Oh really?” Viktor teases and you turn your body to face him a glare on your features.

“Do you want to sleep outside while me and Jayce-“ you break off realising you can’t say it.

“While you and Jayce?” Viktor presses.

“You know what, stuff you both” you say and stand.

“Wait, sweetheart” Jayce stands too.

“We’re sorry ok? You’re easy to tease” he says smiling gently his hand cupping your face and you can’t help but melt into his large paws.

“I’m sorry Láska” Viktor says his hands on your shoulders his head resting against yours. You sigh wanting to stay mad but can’t.

“You’re forgiven” you mumble.

“Good” Viktor whispers his breath fanning against your ear. It sends a shiver up your spine goosebumps along your arms and your hand clenching the towel even tighter.

“How do you want us?” Jayce asks voice dropping an octave.

“Want you?” You repeat the question finding yourself flushed again. Viktor hums along your neck his nose trailing over the sensitive skin. You feel your brain short circuit for a moment.

“I-“ you can’t find words suddenly just needing them both very close, your magic thrums with you and you silently curse the way your runes glow brighter.

“Shall we take the lead sweet thing?” Viktor asks and you nod thankful for the question.

“Can I…” Jayce steps closer his hand lifting up and hover above your towel where you clasp it tightly. You gulp a bit but remove the towel yourself letting it drop to the floor in a puddle. Jayce sucks in a breath as his eyes trail down your body in a way that makes you flush and look away.

“You’re so beautiful” he mutters sounding out of breath.

“The runes” he mumbles in awe.

“Are ugly and annoying” you state and both men freeze.

“Ugly? No” Viktor says as you feel his hands on your sides.

“This arcane magic in you is beautiful, raw, unknown” Viktor says pressing his lips to your shoulder where a rune is. The feeling intensifies, a light throb from the rune his lips are pressed against.

“And they responded so beautifully to being touched” he hums more to himself than anyone. You look to Jayce whose eyes are still roaming over your body.

“He’s right” he says his eyes meeting yours.

“The way they pulse gently with magic, the way they react to us” he steps closer his face now inches away from yours.

“What you can do with it” he murmurs before his lips are on yours gently kissing you. You melt into him kissing back eagerly while Viktor kisses at your neck. You frown a bit in thought wondering why Viktor always ends up behind you. Viktor chuckles as if hearing that thought not making you at all surprised if he did.

“Jayce” Viktor says and Jayce hums against your lips.

“Switch” he orders gently and Jayce leans back a knowing look in his eyes. You watch Jayce move behind you and Viktor move in front of you.

“Mm, good boy” Viktor mutters and you can hear the blush and small intake of breath. Viktor kisses you commanding your attention. It’s so different from Jayce’s kisses, Jayce is eager, passionate Viktor’s feel consuming, hungry.

“I’m always craving you” you freeze when his voice echos in your mind and you pull back with a gasp.

“That’s new” Viktor mutters.

“What happened?” Jayce mutters against your neck.

“He- he spoke into my mind” you say and Jayce lifts his head.

“Really?” He asks and you nod.

“Wow” he adds softly and you feel guilt over come you. You turn and hug Jayce tightly making him freeze for a moment before he wraps his arms around you.

“I’m not upset sweetheart” he says softly against your head.

“I am and I would be” you say holding him tighter. Jayce just chuckles softly and you want him to be mad, upset anything but this acceptance. Viktor steps closer his hand gently rubbing your back.

“Jayce understands” Viktor says in a soft tone.

“I don’t care” you say back.

“I do understand though” Jayce quips softly.

“Right now though, I’m having a hard time concentrating with your naked body pressed against me” his voice lowers again and you flush forgetting momentarily.

“I’m- uh- sorry” you step back covering your breasts with your arms making Jayce chuckle softly.

“Lie down” he cocks his head to the large bed. You hesitate realising you’re not in your own house, but your body thrums with need. You sigh and walk over to the bed before you move your arms from your breasts and glance to the two men who watch you intently before you lie down in the middle. Viktor moves first moving as silent as a shadow as he lies down next to you. You watch Jayce as he unbuttons his jacket and shrugging it off before his shirt. He stalks closer to the bed eyes glowing as he shrugs off his shirt. Your breath catches in your throat at the sight of him, you knew he had a Greek gods body, but seeing it is another thing. The few scars he has reminds you of chips in sculpture still so beautiful but withered from time and hardship.

“An accurate description” Viktor says and you look to him seeing his own eyes trailing over Jayce’s muscles. Jayce flushes a bit and Viktor smirks.

“A body of a Greek god” he adds eyes roaming shamelessly and you see the muscle in Jayce’s jaw tense under the attention of you both. Jayce moves kneeling on the bed his hands sliding up your right leg. He kisses your ankle then shin, then your knee and thigh, your heart rate increases as he kisses your hip and up your stomach, managing to kiss a rune each time. It feels like a small current going through your body as he kisses the middle of your chest and up your collar bone before his breath mingles with yours.

“Our Arcane goddess” Jayce mutters before kissing you with renewed passion. You let out a small moan in response eyes still open as you watch Viktor’s hand tangle in Jayce’s longer hair. Jayce leans into him as he kisses you before he parts panting softly. Jayce moves his head and Viktor leans closer, you watch them, the swirl in Viktor’s eyes and the bright brilliant gold in Jayce’s before Viktor presses his lips to Jayce. Jayce moans this time tilting his head to deepen the kiss eagerly his free hand cupping your jaw still managing to include you. Viktor pulls back and you notice the red on his lips a small frown appearing. Viktor smirks his tongue running along his lips.

“You taste wild, untamed” Viktor says and Jayce flushes. Viktor is quick to kiss you this time while you feel Jayce moves lower down your body pressing his lips to the middle of your chest again before his breath ghosts over your left breast. Your own breath hitches as Jayce kisses the rune directly on your breast just above your nipple, it feels more sensitive, a tingle going through your chest. Viktor kisses you deeper while Jayce’s mouth moves down around your nipple and gently sucks on it, his tongue swirling around the bud. You pull back having to breath in quickly your hand gripping the sheets under you. You feel Jayce’s free hand cup your other breast having not noticed Viktor’s hand there already. Jayce growls lowly in his throat his eyes flashing wild.

“Possessive” Viktor chuckles but moves his hand. Jayce stops his eyes flicking up in apology. Viktor cups his cheek and gently strokes his cheek, Jayce sighs softly leaning into the touch before returning his mouth to your nipple before moving to the other one. You grip Viktor’s arm with your hand for some stability but frown at his full clothing attire. He smiles a bit before he stands making Jayce stop and watch. Viktor undoes his own shirt sliding it off his pale body, his smooth skin and lean muscles reminding you a smooth sculpture. Both men’s bodies were a work of art, Jayce’s hardened by days and nights in the forge and recent battles. Viktor’s slender muscles, lean and perfect for a creature of the night. You feel self consciousness kicking in having not quite been blessed with such smoothness or muscles. Viktor turns to you a frown on his face as his eyes trail your form.

“What is she thinking?” Jayce asks.

“She is self conscious of her body” Viktor answers and you silently wish the bond didn’t share that.

“Why?” Jayce says like he’s baffled and you sigh covering your eyes with your arms. Instead of being smooth as stone or muscles you’ve got runes embedded into your skin, your body nothing like there’s in artistic perfection.

“This is our body” Jayce says his tone possessive as you look down at the bright golden glint in his eyes.

“Our perfect mages body who’s been through so much” he nuzzles against your chest.

“A body filled with sweetest blood” Viktor lies back down next to you.

“Strength” Jayce adds.

“Kindness” Viktor adds.

“Love” Jayce murmurs against your skin holding your sides gently. You feel tears prick your eyes and take a shaky breath.

“Sweet thing” Viktor murmurs moving your arm and kissing you with a softness that surprises you.

“Don’t ever be self conscious of this” Jayce says with light determination and a gently squeeze at your sides.

Taglist

@imithicwolf

@burning-harmony

@sseleniaa

@miraculousasscheeks

@arevik2345

@alitaar

@cherryheairt

[yourloyalwatchdog]

coming up to you while you're scrolling through tumblr on your phone. such an intelligent little pet... let me ruin that for you.

"hi, my dumb puppy." i say as i pet your head.

your thumb stops moving for a beat as your brain accepts my command to your subconscious.

then you blink and continue to scroll. "hey!" you smile when i sit beside you. you don't even register that i said anything to you other than a simple 'hi'.

it happens so subtly, do you even notice how you're already scrolling less? you spend more and more time on each post as it takes your mind longer to register them. the bigger words become harder to pronounce. you don't even recognize a word as hard as "conditioning", which is ironic, because that's exactly what i've done to you.

your eyebrows scrunch up all cutely as whole sentences lose their meaning. you stop scrolling soon enough. now you're stuck rereading that one post over and over and struggling to figure out what it says. but of course, it only makes less sense every time you read it while your vocabulary continues to shrink, until the language becomes something completely foreign altogether. it doesn't mean anything at all anymore.

you put your phone down, beyond frustrated by your own stupidity. your eyes are wary as they flicker over me. i cock my head to the side. "is something wrong, puppy?"

your eyes glaze over for another moment. then another blink, and you're trying to stare into my brain, decipher the tiny hint of mockery in my tone.

"you..." your mind is hard at work trying to translate your racing thoughts into speech. and it's failing. "what... you... do to... me..."

you shift in your seat, rubbing your legs together as heat swells up in your core. as your confusion grows, so does the arousal, because you like to be dumb. you and i both know that. even if you can't quite think that hard right now.

"what do you mean, love? i didn't do anything to you."

"the– i–" your frustration grows, and your ability to articulate what's happening to you diminishes.

your pointless stuttering turns into a needy whimper, which i take great amusement in. "oh, i think i know what the problem is now," i chuckle. "is my dumb puppy in heat?"

your mind has completely slipped away from you now. you let out a bark as you buck your hips, rutting helplessly against the air. your hands reach over to paw at the waistband of my jeans. you don't even know how to get them off me if you tried. that's just too much thinking for a little puppy.

such a pretty thing you are. you pretend to be so smart. a normal, competent person like me. but you're nothing like me. all i have to do is tell you you're my dumb puppy, and every ounce of your humanity leaves you in a matter of minutes. doesn't that mean it was always the truth?

"does puppy need my cock?" i ask. you bark and gaze at me with your best pleading eyes. just a dog begging for a treat.

"well, since you asked so nicely..."

————————

this story is about a fictional scenario. assume prior consent and negotiation have taken place. do not attempt to recreate this scenario in real life without getting informed consent from and thoroughly negotiating with your play partner. kink without consent and negotiation isn't kink, it's abuse.

op/author is a trans man and uses he/him pronouns. do with that information what you will.

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

who yearns harder, alhaitham or kaveh?

this is the second part of the ask i received! the first part discussing alhaitham's yearning is here!

Before moving onto their current relationship in-game, kaveh’s yearning will be explored. I think kaveh’s ‘yearning’ was more his hurt and his mourning over one of the most substantial relationships in his life, as alhaitham effectively filled in the familial role kaveh was missing after the passing of his father and his mother leaving to Fontaine, additionally kaveh also considered alhaitham to be his 'best friend' before their argument

in his voice line kaveh mentions that if they were as close as they used to be he would thank alhaitham for helping him out, meaning that he would have no hesitation in being open with and trusting of alhaitham

Additionally, there’s a romanticism in kaveh using the idea of ‘the universe’ in relation to him and alhaitham, as it seems that fate has led them back together, which for kaveh, is both a negative and a positive due to their differences and the issues these differences have caused, where they were once the cause for the deepness of their bond

Kaveh appears uncertain of why alhaitham would want him around, as alhaitham has seemingly rejected him in the past, so there is nothing he can conceivably offer, and this question is left unanswered

This uncertainty in their relationship can be seen in how kaveh consistently complains about alhaitham, all the while acknowledging that alhaitham has helped him. this creates a parallel in his hangout where kaveh states if he didn’t care about his work, he wouldn’t be so torn up all the time, which can be linked to his treatment of alhaitham (especially as this is from the same route as the talk with alhaitham in the library), which kaveh equates to loving something

Direct parallel or not, I think that alhaitham is equally as important to kaveh as kaveh is to alhaitham, only that due to kaveh’s misconception of alhaitham’s motives, past and present, this regard of alhaitham manifests in a way that can be misinterpreted as dislike, but kaveh’s care is explicit where he asks twice if alhaitham is okay after the encounter with Siraj, in him bringing takeout home for alhaitham, and in him worrying that alhaitham isn’t getting the interaction he deems as necessary when alhaitham misses the group dinner

post-parade of providence, they now stand as equals, and kaveh is open with and trusting of alhaitham, enjoying their conversation in actively telling alhaitham about his day, and offering to help alhaitham research, rectifying their past thesis in cyno's second story quest (which i explore more here and here)

kaveh now actively seeks alhaitham out, which is shown in an odd textual mystery,  where the first thing he wanted to do is inform alhaitham of what happened, which contrasts with kaveh’s claims previous that he doesn’t care what alhaitham does with his spare time, so long as it’s away from him

now kaveh serendipitously bumps into alhaitham in port ormos in nahida’s birthday event, and says that he’s glad they did since he was meaning to talk to alhaitham about his plans, even though he believes they’re completed and 'foolproof' - simply because he wanted alhaitham’s opinion

Overall, I think they’ve both yearned although in different ways, but I am a firm believer that alhaitham fell first, and kaveh fell harder. I think kaveh’s actions of seeking alhaitham out are explicit in this new arc for them, and this highlights alhaitham’s initial pursuit of kaveh in earlier story beats.

They’ve both finally reached the stage where they can reach out to the other, and have this be reciprocated, and they’re just as intolerable as ever <3333

[katsu28]

the way you love

pairing: george russell x reader

summary: loving george russell is as easy as breathing sometimes, especially with the way he loves you. loosely inspired by stardust by zayn. (2.8k)

a/n: welcome to the first of four holiday fics! i'm hoping to post one a day until christmas eve, so stay tuned :)

Maybe you should’ve waited inside for George to pick you up. 

Granted, you haven't been out here long, and you know he’ll be here soon, but it’s cold. Frigid wind whips your hair around your face, scraping over your skin harshly. 

You nuzzle a little deeper into your scarf in a poor attempt to protect your cheeks. 

The two cardboard cups clutched in your hands do help a little with the biting cold. One for you, one for George, both filled to the brim with steaming coffee from the little shop down the street from your building. 

They’ve rolled out their holiday cups today, as noted by the festive little scene printed across the sleeve. It makes you smile, and you think George will probably like it too. 

George’s sleek car pulls up in front of you with a gentle rumble not long later. You’re expecting him to be smiling when he gets out, but when his head pops over the roof of the car, he just looks concerned. 

“Blimey, have you been waiting out here the entire time?” He exclaims incredulously, rounding the front of the car quickly. 

You barely have time to nod before he’s easing the cups out of your grip. Only once they’re secured into cup holders inside the car does he grab your hands, bringing them up to his mouth to breathe a little warmth back into them. 

“Didn’t want you to have to wait on me,” You say, as if it’s any excuse to have been standing in the freezing cold. Really, you just wanted to see George as soon as he came to pick you up. You’ve just seen him only last week, but it feels like forever. 

“Darling, it’s freezing,” He reasons. He’s smiling now, despite the attempt to keep his firm composure. 

You frown. “I missed you.”

He kisses you instead of answering, short and sweet, but still bursting with affection. 

“Hi,” You say softly, nuzzling deeper into his broad palm after he pulls back an inch or two. His thumbs swipe over your cheeks, bringing some more much needed heat back into your skin. You won’t tell him, but your nose had been starting to lose a bit of feeling. 

“Hi. I missed you too,” He replies, fondness dripping from his tone. 

“Yeah?” 

“Of course. Longest five days of my life.”

That makes you grin even harder, pushing forward for another quick kiss. “Mine too.”

“Glad we feel the same.” He looks very pleased. “Shall we get a move on? We’re a little early, but I know how much you hate being late to things. I even told Alex to expect us early.” 

You’re set to head to Alex Albon’s Christmas party in a little bit. George goes every year, but this is the first time you’re going too. You’re excited, nervous, and a little bit scared at the prospect of finally getting to meet all of George’s friends at one time. You've met a handful of them individually, gradually, George happily introducing you as his girlfriend every time, but never in such a large social setting like this party. 

You aren’t quite sure what to expect, but if the ones you haven’t met are anything like the ones you have, you’ll be just fine. 

“And what did he say about that?” 

“That Lily is relieved someone competent is coming round to help out, so I’d say he’s pretty okay with it,” George says, chuckling. “C’mon, let's get you out of the cold.” 

You allow George to help you into the car, letting out a comfortable sigh at the blazing warmth of the car interior. George has always liked to keep your shared spaces running hot despite your wishing for the opposite, but for the first time ever, you’re actually grateful for your boyfriend’s temperature preference. 

“Nice, isn’t it?” He teases as he climbs into the driver’s seat, nudging at your shoulder. “See, I told you you’d come around someday.” 

“Only because it’s cold as shit outside,” You huff, rolling your eyes playfully. “I got you coffee.” 

“Thank you, darling. Though I wish you hadn’t sacrificed your health to do so.”

“I know you had another late night yesterday, thought you might be tired. It’s fine, really, I didn’t mind,” You insist, shaking your head. 

“You’re very sweet,” George says softly, leaning over the center to press a kiss to your cheek. 

You’re not sure what comes over you, but you turn at the last moment so he catches your lips instead. He lets out a noise of surprise, but has no hesitation in kissing you back happily, slipping a hand around the back of your neck to pull you closer. 

You kiss and kiss and kiss until your lips start to tingle, and even then, you’re reluctant to pull away. There’s something intoxicating about kissing George that makes you want to do it forever. 

“If we stay here any longer, we might actually end up being late,” George murmurs. He blinks at you, long lashes fluttering open and shut slowly. His breath fans across your skin on every exhale, cologne invading your senses until all that surrounds you is him. 

“That would be bad.” 

“Mm, awful,” He agrees. Still, he doesn’t make any attempt to pull away, perfectly content here, hiding away with you in the coziness of your close proximity. His nose drags along your cheek, lips following the path until he reaches the corner of your mouth. 

You exhale shakily. “Alex and Lily are expecting us.” 

“They are.”

“So we should go.” 

“I mean, we don’t have to…” George trails off, letting his head tilt to the side. 

“Yes, we do. Someone roped us into helping with party prep.” 

He sighs rather heavily, handsome features screwing into overdramatic annoyance. “Starting to regret that right about now.” That makes you giggle. “Alright, fine. Let’s get this over with so we can go home.” 

“There’s that holiday spirit!” 

The drive over to Alex’s is fairly short. It actually takes more time to make yourselves presentable and not at all like you’ve just been making out in the car, before making your way up to Alex and Lily’s. George has brought presents for both of your friends—a watch for Alex and a bottle of perfume for Lily, he’d informed you in the elevator, bought by him, but a gift from the both of you. 

The door swings open with a blast of music and the smell of something delicious not seconds after you knock. Alex stands just behind it with a gracious smile on his face and a flute of something bubbly in hand. 

“Hi, welcome—oh, thank god you’re here,” He breathes. Then he stops, stares at the two of you for a few moments, as if he’s studying the both of you. A knowing smirk quirks his lips right after. “George, you’ve got lipstick on your chin, mate.” 

George’s hand flies up to his face, rubbing furiously. His cheeks have flushed an embarrassed pink at his friend’s smug observation. 

“I’m just kidding. But it was funny to see you panic,” Alex snickers. 

“Ha ha, hilarious. Maybe I won’t give you this gift after all.” 

Alex takes both boxes eagerly, tucking them under his arm with a wink. “Come on in, friends.” 

The flat is decorated tastefully—festive, but not gaudy. You assume Lily had done most of the decor rather than Alex.

Speaking of—

“You’re here!!! Thank god!” Lily exclaims, barely paying George any mind before she whisks you away, chattering away immediately, wanting your opinions on everything from the appetizers to the seating arrangements at dinner. You cast a helpless glance over your shoulder at your boyfriend, who merely gives you an amused wave back. 

You do what Lily tells you needs finishing up until the rest of the guests start to make their arrival. Most of the other drivers are in attendance, save for a few who’d opted to spend the holidays home with their families. Charles and Carlos are here, Lando and Oscar, Yuki, Pierre, Zhou and Franco, to name a few. 

The bundle of nerves in your chest starts to unravel as more familiar faces trickle in, and you’re able to catch up with a couple of them. You’re chatting with Kika and Pierre about what’s new with Simba when a hand touches the small of your back. 

Instantly, you know it's George. His touch is the only one that sends butterflies through you. That’s never happened with anyone else before, but with George, you feel alight with a certain energy every time. 

You lean back into him on instinct, tilting your head up to look at him. His cheeks are slightly rosy, hair still perfectly coiffed, save for one curl that has escaped to hang over his forehead. You reach up to brush it back and he smiles, sliding a hand around your waist. 

“So sorry to interrupt, you lot. Just wanted to pop in and see if anybody needed a refresher on their drinks,” He offers, though his gaze rests solely on you. 

“Thank you, but we’re good, mate,” Pierre replies, as Kika shakes her head to decline too. 

George says your name, lips lifting into a small smile as he juts his chin at your nearly empty glass. 

“Thank you, Georgie,” You say gratefully. “Don’t forget to—”

“Make it sweeter? Yes, I know how you take your drinks, darling,” He hums, kissing your cheek quickly before retreating with your glass. 

“You’ve trained him well,” Pierre teases, winking at you. 

“I think he was born that way,” You admit. 

That isn’t a lie. According to George’s sister, who you’d had the pleasure of meeting a few months back, he'd always been very kind, very caring, even when he was young. It’s one of the many qualities of his that has you falling in love with him a little more with every passing day. 

George leaves you to your own conversations after bringing you your drink, but you see him periodically throughout the night. He always looks like the life of the conversation, talking animatedly, listening with rapt attention when he’s not yapping away. 

Even as he’s listening intently, it’s like he can sense you’re looking at him, because he finds you almost instantly, sending a smile or a wink your way. That’s another lovable quality of his—knowing where you are even when he’s not with you. Like you’re two magnets being pulled towards each other at all times.

The more you chat with everyone else, one thing becomes obvious. George talks about you a lot. Not enough to be obnoxious, but he's mentioned you to many of his friends. 

Charles knows you’ve been looking into learning how to play the piano because George had asked him something about which pianos were the best. Yuki offers up a few cooking tips because George had mentioned you wanted to try your hand at a new dish. Lewis congratulates you on a big project you’d finished at work a while back, telling you that George had been singing your praises in the garage right after you'd called. 

If you look back at it, George has always been one of your biggest supporters. 

Always wanting you to call him whenever something big happens because he can’t be there all the time, always doing things for you when he’s away so you never for a moment feel like he's not thinking of you. Sending you flowers, ordering you food from your favorite spot in Monaco even though he's a thousand miles away because he knows it’ll make you smile. Even just texting you a picture of something he saw that made him think of you. 

George makes you feel so, so loved, all the time. Like, wherever you are in the world, no matter, everything will be okay because you’ve got him. You could be on some far off deserted island in the middle of nowhere with nothing but the land to live off of, but if George is there with you, it wouldn’t be all that bad. 

Sometimes you wonder what your life would’ve been like if you’d never met him, but you never get far with those thoughts. You can’t even imagine what life would look like without George Russell. And honestly, you don’t really want to. 

“Ready to head out?” George’s voice draws you out of your thoughts, and when you refocus, he’s right in front of you, holding out your coat. For a moment, you can only stand there, blinking back at him like you’ve just laid eyes on him for the first time ever. 

He falters a little under your intense staring. “Darling? Are you alright? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” 

“Sorry, yeah. I’m fine, I’m just…tired, I think.” 

“Let’s go home then. Stay the night at mine?” 

“Duh,” You say. Your obvious tone makes George chuckle a little bit as he helps you slip into your coat.

“How silly of me to even ask.”  

After finding your hosts to thank them for the great evening and subsequently being invited for a game of doubles padel with them one of these days, you're off. 

“I don’t have any skin cleanser,” You say suddenly, just as George has pulled onto the main road.

“What?” 

“At your place. I don’t have my cleanser, the one I always use before bed.” 

“The one in the little green bottle?” 

“Yeah.” You frown, slumping back in your seat. In hindsight, it’s really not the biggest deal in the world, and you’re not sure why you’re making it one. But for some reason right now, you’re focused on it. 

“Lucky for you, your wonderful boyfriend bought a bottle just in case this happened. He figured you’d probably forget it one of these days.” 

“Is there a reason my wonderful boyfriend is referring to himself in the third person?” You giggle, shifting in your seat to face said thoughtful boyfriend. George’s cheeks are flushed a little pink. 

“Yeah, I thought it was a little weird too. Anyways, there’s a bottle in the bathroom cupboard.” 

“Thank you, Georgie. You’re always so thoughtful.” 

“Y’know, you could just move in with me. That way you won’t have to worry about not having things at mine anymore.” He doesn’t take his eyes off the road as he speaks, but you can see his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows nervously. “You’ve already got loads of stuff there anyways, why not just bring it all? You wouldn’t have to drive across the city every time you come over, for one.” 

“I barely drive to yours anyways, you know. You always insist on picking me up,” You tease. George smiles, but you can tell he’s serious about wanting you to move in with him. You sigh, squeezing his hand. “Babe, I’d love nothing more, but…I could never afford to live with you.”

“I’m not going to have you pay rent or anything like that, darling. I wouldn't ask that of you.” George’s nose wrinkles, like it’s absurd of you to even think about it. “Just your company would be more than enough, honestly. Make the place less empty, more like…home.”

You can already imagine it. Falling asleep next to each other every night, waking up tangled together every morning, getting to come home and unwind with each other after long days. Breakfasts and afternoon teas and dinners you’d make together in George’s massive kitchen. Your stuff mingling with his in every room of the place. 

Maybe you’d adopt a pet together one day, one that could keep you company every time George was away for races. 

“Okay,” You say softly. You’ve already convinced yourself. “Let’s live together.” 

George pulls to a stop at the red light, taking the opportunity to lean over into your space and kiss you gently. “Let’s do it, darling.” 

Taking the next step in your relationship seems daunting, but George will be there to soothe any anxieties you have. He always is. 

“Oh no! We forgot about the coffee.” He frowns, plucking the still full cup out of the holder suddenly. Then he shrugs, taking a giant sip of it. “Cute cup.” 

“George, it’s cold!” You exclaim, tugging at his sleeve. “Just throw it out when we get home.”

“It tastes fine!” 

“It’s probably stale.” 

“I think it’s delicious.” 

“You’re so weird.” 

He chooses to ignore the muttered quip, letting a giant grin stretch his lips instead, eyes gleaming with excitement. “You called it home.” 

“Well, it is now, isn’t it? Or will be soon enough.” 

“Sure will. I’m thinking we move you in tomorrow.” 

You chuckle, shaking your head at his enthusiasm. “I have to get out of my lease first. It might take a while too, my landlord is kind of an asshole.” 

“I’ll give him double whatever you’re paying right now to let you out of it early. No, triple.” 

“I don’t think he’d appreciate bribery, but he is a Mercedes fan.” 

“Paddock passes and VIP club access to Monaco next season, done.”

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[bossuary]

Neve is painless. Rook is real.

Lucanis likes Neve because she represents what he is desperate to regain. He wants to feel normal, to work and cook and focus on the things he used to enjoy (such as they were) before the Ossuary. He wants capital R Romance, right out of a book.

Most importantly, he wants to get rid of Spite. He wants to pretend that he is the man he was...not this abomination.

Without truly knowing her, Lucanis believes Neve is a pathway to all of that. He's attracted to her, and she to him. Their flirting has an edge, but it's also friendly. She dislikes Spite, and her presence makes Spite disappear.

Neve will tell Lucanis that he's still himself, and that Spite doesn't change that. She will never be the one to reconcile Lucanis with Spite, to get them to accept each other. So, yeah, he gravitates to the charming, flirty, warm person who (through no fault of her own, really) feeds his desire to pretend he's not an abomination.

Even early on, I think he's smart enough to know that accepting Spite is his only option, but he...just... can't. With what tools? Nothing in his life has prepared him to deal with this. Rook does that. When denial tears Lucanis apart, Rook puts him back together with acceptance. Rook accepts the reality of Spite, and deals with it head-on every time.

Neve will remind Lucanis that she's not going anywhere. She'll tell him to open his eyes and look at facts, but she (probably) won't be the one to push him out of his own prison. Lucanis knows this, so Spite knows this, and therefore Spite will not look to Neve for help.

It's important for Lucanis to accept that Spite has changed him. But when it's Rook who says it--for whom Lucanis has developed real feelings, not idealized ones--well, it destroys the fantasy Lucanis clings to so vehemently, the one where he isn't this.

For me, the Lucanis/Rook romance feels the way it does NOT because the writers "preferred" that Lucanis and Neve get together, but because Neve is simply easier for Lucanis to accept. She's easier to talk to, unchallenging. Easy isn't bad! Comfort isn't bad! God knows they both deserve some comfort.

Loving Rook is a profoundly complex choice. There's not a lot of cute ways to work that profundity into sexy banter. It makes sense, then, that Lucanis doesn't have as much dialogue for a romanced Rook as he does with Neve. What he can do is cook, make small gestures. He can, heartbreakingly, tell Rook, over and over, that he doesn't have the words to express how he feels. That's such an awful state, knowing that the person you care about needs to hear words you simply cannot locate. As soon as he does have the words, he shares them.

Rook is real. And real is not easy.

To Lucanis, Rook represents a difficult path to recovery, a path he has to keep choosing to follow, every day. At a time in his life where he is incapable of seeing Spite (and his own PTSD ) as anything but a 'distraction' to shove aside, Rook shows genuine interest in helping Lucanis heal. Rook takes consistent action toward that goal, particularly when it's clear that Lucanis doesn't know how.

Lucanis also has to believe that he's worth the effort, his own and his love's. Neve is great, love her, but I don't see this struggling cynic, this chronic worrier, being very helpful in the self-worth department. No, people in a relationship do not have to perform therapeutic roles. But, partners do have to respect each others' boundaries and needs.

Of course Lucanis goes all-in for Neve, romantically, even while he and Rook are dancing around each other. Accepting how much he loves and cares for Rook means looking at himself the way Rook does. That is so much harder than whatever will happen with Neve.

The fact that Lucanis isn't afraid to pursue Neve, even if Treviso is blighted, tells me that Neve is an indulgence for him. Again, that's not a value judgement. If they treat each other with respect, then the merits of the relationship don't have to fall on whether Lucanis 'heals' as a result. Sometimes not hurting all the time is enough.

BUT. Contrast the ease he feels with Neve with his feelings about Rook:

"When I was afraid to want you..."

That is a powerful admission.

What was he afraid of? The annihilation of neglect, worthlessness, and shame. The awful but knowable pillars of his existence.

Wanting Rook means that Lucanis wants to dismantle everything he knows in pursuit of something he doesn't. To love Rook is to love and accept himself, exactly as he is.

Then...then...Lucanis finds real comfort.

[jweekgoji]

I keep laughing when I think about the scene where Motorcycle!Reader is so small that they don't have their own charging chamber and have to live in someone else's charging chamber because after all they are so small that they don't take up much space.

TFO!Chars/Motorcycle!Reader [hcs]

tw: none, i guess. word count: ~1600 additional tags: gender neutral reader, cybertronian reader, motorcycle!reader. characters included: B-127, Optimus Prime, Elita-One, Megatron, Sentinel Prime.

That is both a curse and a blessing in my opinion, but well, it depends on whom the tiny reader is stuck with 😋

I mean, >B-127 didn't even have his own place to sleep. All the yellow bot had, was a conveyor belt, which I doubt it was really comfortable, haha. Well then, after just ending Sentinel's regime, the ex-cogless group at least have some places to stay.

When Bee found out you'd be living with him for a while, he was overjoyed! First he made many, many new friends, gained the ability to transform, started working for the government, and now...he has a roommate? A real roommate? The one who can open their mouth when 🐝 talks to them? The day couldn't be any better! (Not that Bee wasn't happy with Steve's company...).

To be fair, Bee himself isn't exactly a bad neighbor either. It all very much depends on what kind of personality you have. If you really get along well with him, despite his extremely emotional state, which sometimes seems to never end, then good luck!

Sharing a chamber with him is going to be an absolute challenge. We remember that he talks in his sleep, don't we? And if Shockwave was so sick of Bumblebee in that short time, imagine how you have to recharge, but now all you can hear, instead of the silence you crave, is constant mumbling into your audio receptors.

Sometimes he's just mumbling about what a cool day he had with Optimus or what an intense training session Elita gave him.

Sometimes you notice how his servos only pull you harder against him. For a moment, you'd probably sigh wearily or try to make some space between you until he starts whispering softly about how happy Bee is to have you in his life. He genuinely, really genuinely loves you. After cycles of being alone, he really misses your company. Will you decide to move him away from you nevertheless?

The next morning, surprisingly, he has no memory of what he told you at all.

> Optimus apologizes to you so much when he finds out that now, unfortunately or thankfully (?), they don't have any time or resources at all to build new quarters. The new Prime has so many new responsibilities that he doesn't even know where to start! He has to clean up and fix Sentinel's mistakes, not to mention his divorce with D-16 Megatron, which has caused him a lot of trouble. But that's okay, our favorite Prime has a solution for that!

And as a good, true leader...yes, yes, you will be the one sharing the room. Lucky, huh? Oh, lucky you.

Optimus is actually one of the best candidates to share a chamber. I find that most of the time, he doesn't have much time to go to his room and fall asleep. You often fall asleep alone, only to wake up later...alone. Was he with you? Did he come in at all? In response to this, you sometimes notice him passed out at his desk. You should definitely tell Elita about this to scold him about such a bad habit.

Actually, he'd be happy to share the charging chamber with you. The thing is, he's extremely shy.

When you fall asleep with him, there's just not enough room! Yeah, you're a pretty small bot, he's just so huge. It takes the two of you a long time to finally find the only comfortable solution.

With you on top of Optimus, you can put your helm on his chassis. The soft shimmer of the Matrix of Leadership doesn't bother you at all; if anything, it calms your nerves. All night long, your leader may never move from his position. He's so afraid he might accidentally hit you if he rolls over or decides to stand up...poor Prime, even Megatron didn't set such dangerous traps for him!

The first few nights, Optimus doesn't sleep much. He's nervous; he thinks up to the late night, but in the end, he can't resist you, and you two can get your well-deserved rest.

I think after Prime, the best candidate for your roommate would be >Elita. I like to think she always sleeps in “mom's pose” (if you know what I mean).

She can lie on her back with her servos on her chassis and not move a muscle all night. Other than that, she's a completely silent sleeper. Sometimes, you can stay up late at night; your shared room is unlit, and you don't want to turn on the lights so as not to disturb her. If she finds out you've been out the whole night instead of recharging, she'll kill you!

You swear you didn't even make the slightest creak, and just then, you see those bright blue optics staring at you in the darkness. Without even seeing her face, you know you're in trouble...She has very sharp hearing, unfortunately for you.

Elita isn't the tallest bot; sure, she's still taller than you, but her frame is pretty slim, unlike the others'. She is not the type to cuddle, even if you are extremely close to her. The most you can expect is her servo around your waist or shoulders.

You can tease her about it, but she'll try to deny everything, saying “just don't want you to fall and hit the floor 🙄” of course we all believe you, Elita!

I can see D-16 being a similar type to Optimus, but Megatron is a different story. I have no idea where our young Decepticon leader went with his guards, but at least they have a few cycles to spend building a base, especially one with all the comforts.

Megatron himself is not a fan of sharing, and when he realizes the problem, he doesn't even ask you if you want him to or not. You will share the chamber with him, period. Should you be worried or happy...?

Megatron, especially if we're talking about a young and inexperienced leader who was only recently forced to leave Iacon, is in need of support. He won't show it in front of anyone, not even you. But you know him enough to know what is troubling him.

He is so isolated, betrayed and saddened, he is afraid to open up to anyone else. And yet, he genuinely wishes someone could just hold him.

Megatron rarely sleeps. 24 hours a day, all he has on his mind is what he should do next. It used to be so easy; the mere thought of it makes him grit his teeth. When there was Sentinel, all that was required was to just follow the protocols. Now, with hundreds of high guard members expecting him to do something, he's lost.

At some point, Starscream or Soundwave will remind him of the importance of rest, and without any enthusiasm, he'll join you.

Now, the two of you are extremely awkward.

Of course, you can't tell much from his looks. Is he asleep? Or still lying there with his optics closed? This awkward silence makes you afraid to move. But the truth is, Megatron himself doesn't know what to do. You're so small compared to him; by some miracle, the two of you can fit, but it's so extremely uncomfortable.

Eventually, he can't stand it and just lifts you up to lay you on top of him. Luckily for him, you have no intention of moving away from him. Perhaps you're afraid; maybe you're okay with this change in positions. Either option is fine with him.

He repeats in his head that this is only temporary...when resources become available, you will get your own separate quarters, and you will be able to sleep separately. And yet, he doesn't want that. Your presence around him, for whatever reason, makes him forget his worries for a while, and he can finally rest.

You may disagree with me, but >Sentinel, no matter how sexy man people try to show him to be, would be just a terrible roommate! If he can even be called a roommate? Sometimes, he forgets that you're resting here too, and even if you remind him of that, he'll pretend to “listen” to you, only to forget after a while.

In fact, he could easily order a separate room for you; he's got plenty of them in his tower, but he's like.... no. He wants you around just because he can. There's no other reason.

I think he's more or less tolerable at first? He likes to keep something small next to him; imagine it like the cybertronian equivalent of plush toys, but only that toy is you. And it seems he may see you as such.

Every night, he can grab you at any time he wants and hold you against him. One time he just held you by his side; another time he decided to put his servo around you; tonight he wanted you on his chassis! The worst part is that his berth is quite spacious. And you can lie on the very far side, only for him to snatch you whenever he wants. Not very funny.

Recharging with him is pretty uncomfortable because those damn wings keep hitting you in the face every night. He's a pretty big bot on his own, and his wings are another big nuisance. Of course, he's not that terrible. Still, his room is very large, and you're probably very cozy, but Sentinel...sigh.

It's funny, but I like to think of him mumbling in his sleep too. Only this time all you can hear from him is about how often he praises himself. Wow.

[minikoko-a]

general relationship headcanons — tim wright x fem!reader pre-mh

starting that Tim finds it difficult to have a bond with someone, if with a platonic one he has his challenges, now imagine with a romantic one!

and it's very probably that he either met you through Brian (extra points if you are his sister... i got an idea) or during the recording of Marble Hornets but since this is pre marble hornets, we'll go for the first one.

if you met through Brian...

if you met through Brian, it was a little easier for him to have a conversation with you, because Brian did his best to make sure that the three of you could talk without leaving anyone uncomfortably silent.

the three of you went out constantly, until little by little, you two began to start a conversation without looking for a topic by searching hard in your little heads.

first were more fluid conversations.

then you hang out more often.

and then one of you caught feelings.

most probably was you first.

"she fell first, but he fell harder" trope.

at this point, you were just thinking about when you had developed romantic feelings for Tim. for your other friends, he was a quiet, reserved and sarcastic guy, according to them, he was absolutely not your type! but hey, he has something that makes you feel your heart beat as crazy and honestly, you don't give a fuck what they say lol.

Brian knew it.

he knew it even before you had developed feelings for him.

get ready for the most teasing ever.

but at the end, he would be more than happy to help you figure out if your feelings are reciprocated.

Brian would be the third wheel but not in an awkward way, he would help you two always be together. in small details like, if the three of you are walking, he will be on the other side so that you are both walking side by side.

until one day, Tim asked Brian if you and he had something, obviously, Brian denied it and in the end he collected an important fact.

TIM ALSO LIKES YOU!

you considered just giving up on your desire to tell Tim that you have feelings for him, for fear that the friendship would fracture and hangouts would become awkward and strained. But you didn't expect to have that day that you once dreamed of, to have him in front of you, his jaw somewhat tense pronouncing those words that had you in heaven: "i like you"

although you confessed to each other, it was after a week that he officially asked you to be his partner.

"can i be your boyfriend?" his voice sounded so intimate, so honest, the intention and the feeling were genuine despite his reserved nature.

congratulations! you and Tim are a cute couple <3!

your dates would be simple but cozy, an outing to a restaurant or being in their respective houses/apartments cooking something delicious for both of you.

i feel like it took Tim a while to give you a kiss, you were the one who showed more physical affection but it wasn't something that bothered you.

but don't worry! his mainly love language is quality time and acts of service.

but when he kisses you, oh god! his kisses are slow but so real, could fall into passionate, emotional? kind of that type.

use honey, dear or a nickname of yours.

your relationship with Tim was going pretty well. the attention Tim gave you, the protection and his genuineness in his feelings towards you made you the happiest person in this whole place! he usually gives you some little things, like flowers, a necklace or things that he knew you liked. you didn't want to pressure him into kissing on the lips, sure there were kisses on the temple and cheek but that was it. you knew Tim, you knew that for him there had to be a certain time for him to be comfortable in doing some actions and it doesn't bother you.

but it was a day that you went up one more step.

you were both waiting for Brian to return, he had a project to give to a professor and he had told both of you to go ahead and wait for him at the exit. Tim was next to you, his cigarette smell made you dizzy, he started to get into the habit of not smoking around you, he recognized that the cigarette smell was strong and he doesn't want to hurt you.

you played with your hair somewhat bored, you raised your gaze meeting his, making your gaze soften. his fingers tangled in your hair sending a tickle down your stomach that wasn't bad, a smile began to curve on your lips

"honey, can i..."

his voice sounded somewhat nervous but didn't tremble, you confidently took his cheeks, feeling his freshly cut beard in your hands, bringing both of your faces closer, cutting the distance and sealing it with a soft kiss.

the kiss escalated into one still slowly but with more contact from the two until a fake cough made your lips break the union, looking where it came from it was Brian with a smile.

there was a day where you were waiting for Brian and Tim. you remember that Brian had said something about a project that a friend of his wanted to do and he needed actors, since you had left your classes a little late Tim accompanied him.

a while had passed and you saw their two figures approaching the exit, Tim's gaze was tired and Brian raised his hand a little when he saw you from afar, corresponding to his sign, you did the same.

as Tim set his gaze on you, he smiled softly, seeing you brought him calm and warmth, he didn't want to lose you, he really didn't.

he was so grateful to have you as his partner, so much that it would hurt him that this so genuine, so... warm would end, but that won't happen and not soon, right?

[kanyerealdaughter]

#EX BOYFRIEND

sexual content , masturbation , sub (fem,reader) , cussing , intercourse , dom(suguru geto) , creampie , size kink , degrading , cum eating a bit.? .

—————————————————————————

right now you're currently driving to your ex boyfriend suguru house. you have no clue how to handle it to be completely honest, you never been too good with emotions but you both left on good terms and everything but you just can't stop the need you feel him one last time.

you pulled into his driveway preparing yourself to get all your stuff and leave as quickly as possible. you walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. after a few minutes he appears in the doorway, looking sexier than ever. you were snapped out of the battle with your subconscious by his voices speaking out in a concerned tone.

" uh- you good..?"

“ mhm, uh y-yeah, fine i just came to get my stuff remember.” you replied weakly.

" well you're gonna come in?" he asked in his raspy voice, stepping out of the way, letting you into his house.

you look over at the kitchen and remember all the times he fucked your from behind. so deep in you, so... rough. and the living room where he'd prop your legs up on the coffee table and eat you out. suckin on your clit...

your breathing picked up and you don't know what to do. your underwear is getting wetter by the second and you can't do anything about it... or can you? once the idea pops into your head, there's no turning back. you have to do it. you need to do it.

" um suguru can i use your bathroom?" you ask, pretending that you have to use the bathroom badly.

" oh uh- sure. you remember where it's at right?" you nodded and headed off to the bathroom.

once you're outta sight, you rush in, shutting and locking the door behind you. you don't waste any time taking your jeans and underwear off. mmm you're so wet... you don't even bother taking your shirt and bra off, you wanna make this quick.

you slowly insert your middle finger and it slides in with ease from all the wetness. you start to pump and move your hand. in and out. in and out. in... out. over and over. fuck it. you need this. you pick up speed, lifting your left leg up onto the sink for better access.

" mmm." you moan softly before putting your free fingers into your mouth to shut yourself up.

you can't be loud but it feels so good. you bite your knuckle harder in an attempt to hush yourself but it's useless. you move your hand quicker. the lightning fast speed of your fingers is amazing. you started to think of suguru. his big dick thrusting into you with quick speed. both of your skin hitting together because of his fast, hard pace.

" fuck." you muffled into your knuckles. his balls slapping against your ass cheeks. both of your moans and grunts are drowning out the others. you're whimpering. you want to scream but you can't. you want him to fuck you so bad. you imagine him talking dirty to you even more.

“ fuck, you like that i know you like it..”

" scream for me ma.." that was all it took to drive you over the edge.

" fuck yes..!"

you came all over your hand, hard. as much as you wish it were him you were cumming for, you guess this will have to do. you clean yourself off realizing you've probably been in here for too long. you washed all your wetness and juices away from your hands, dried them and then went to leave.

as you opened the door, you found a very satisfied ex boyfriend suguru getting off right in front of the door. either he didn't care if you saw or he hadn't heard you come out.

whatever the case may be, you didn't care. you suddenly felt hot again. you once more felt the urge to have him inside of you again. watching him get off because of your moans from the other side of the door really turned you on. you need to feel him in you, at least one more time.

as you watched him, you could feel your juices pooling up as they did before. bitting your lip, you reach out and touch his dick. he looks up at you and you could see his once big dark purple eyes. eyes darken.

he stops and in a blink of an eye, you're pinned up against the bathroom door. with a strong large hand over your neck, his lips dive towards yours, connecting in a passionate yet lustful kiss. it was harsh and forceful, making your knees go weak. if he wasn't holding you up you would have fallen.

your hand instinctively wrapped around his hard cock, pumping in an attempt to please him. a quiet moan could be heard escaping his lips, that were molded together with yours, sending a long satistying shiver down your spine. i need him in you now.

" i need you." you said in between kisses.

" i'm glad you said that ma i need you too my dick hard." he said as a smile crept up on his face.

and with that he pulled his pants up and picked you up, carrying you to his room. when we reached your destination, he threw you on his bed and began stripping.

starting with his shirt, then his pants, then his boxers. you both kept eye contact as you began to get undressed with him taking off your shirt along with your push up bra.

when you both were done, he crawled up between your legs pushing you up on the bed. he once again connected your lips as he moved one of his hands to your breast. he squeezed and rolled your hard nipple earning soft moans from you.

you started to whine, letting him know that you can't wait any longer. a smirk draws across his face while he moves his hand down to your heat, collecting some of your juices on his finger, he stops kissing you and puts it in his mouth. he moaned lightly at the taste of you causing your hips to buck up at the sight.

he looked down and grabbed his dick and started rubbing it against your slit. pushing it a little to your clit, your legs shook. you're so wet that he accidentally slid in hard, slamming into you, causing him to groan at the pleasure.

" you're still so tight fuck ma." he said in a low whisper. you moaned in response his pace started off slow but then soon quickened as his heavy breaths you felt in the crook of your neck. his thrusting grew harder. the bed creaked and rocked with his and yours movements.

" u-uh yess!." you moaned. it feels so good his grunts fill the room along with your moans.

" fuck ma you been givin my pussy..?" he whispered groaning at the end of his sentence.

you shake your no.

" words mama." he groaned.

" no o-ohh fuck." you gained the confidence too say no. he smack ass leaving a handprint thrusting into you kissing your cervix fasting into you even more making you moan.

" tell me, who does this pussy belong to?" he said while lifting your legs up by his shoulders, fucking you deeper.

*yesss kinggg Imfaooo ignore this.*

" y-you." you barely got out in between your panting and loud moans.

" louder." he demanded.

"y-you suguru you suguru FUCKK.! u-uhh so deep..!" you ended up screaming, causing him to smirk.

" mhm." was all he said.

" fuck. f-faster." you said wanting more. his pace quickened from what it was before as all you could hear was his and yours skin slapping together.

" n-nugh!" you screamed. he was so deep and big he filled you up kissing your cervix once again

" s-shit.!" your back arched as your felt your orgasm forming.

" i-im gonna c-cum!" he stopped causing you to whimper.

" no.. fuck why suguru..?" you whined. he didn't answer but instead flipped you over to where your ass was up in the air and your back was arched. face in the comforter.

suddenly there was a sting on your ass cheek. smack. the skin on skin contact of his hand colliding with your plump ass made you moan.

" you like that." he said with a smile forming on his face.

smack another hard slap echoing throughout the room, the sound bouncing off the walls. you moaned again, this time a little louder. without warning he slammed his dick back into your soaking wet pussy making you scream at the sudden pressure.

his thrusting was quick and hard just like before. your pussy throbbed. your ass slapped against his front, reddening your cheeks smack.

" ooh fuck!"

it feels too good smack. he continued his thrusting that soon became irregular and uneven, getting even more sloppy. he was close and so was you.

" cum for me ma. cum all over my dick mamas." you couldn't hold on anymore. your orgasm ripped through you like a tidal wave, but he didn't stop.

" ahh! f-fuck! fuck suguruuu!" his dick twitched inside you.

" mmm." he hummed.

" scream my name again." he said, his breath being just as scattered as his thrusts.

" suguru!" you screamed moaning right after.

" f-fuck ma..!" he stopped deep in you, filling you up with his hot spurts of cum. you shook and screamed into the comforter. you both stayed in that position catching your breaths for a few minutes and then he pulled out.

he cleaned up and then you both laid in his bed talking for about an hour until you finally decided to get dressed and head home. he stopped you right outside his front door by grabbing your waist and pulling you into a kiss slapping your sensitive ass making you yelled out a yelp. he broke it off and tilted your head up to look at him looking him in his dark purple eyes.

" come back anytime you'd like and we can do this again ma." he winked at you but being all serious and then disappeared back into his house.

the drive home was silent. you didn't listen to any music, you just sat there thinking...

𖣂 KANYEREALDAUGHTER SPEAKS - *reposted* sorry for any errors.!

words - 1.8k

» , ᴀ ᴋᴀɴʏᴇʀᴇᴀʟᴅᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ

copyright ©️. ᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴛɪᴏɴ . «

[beardedmrbean]

A former top journalist at CNN offered up a “confession” and an “apology” on Thursday by admitting that he should have “pushed harder” on covering President Biden’s mental decline.

Chris Cillizza, the former Washington Post political reporter who later joined CNN as editor-at-large before leaving the network in 2022, posted a video on his YouTube page Thursday acknowledging that he failed to adequately cover signs of Biden’s slippage even though Republicans prodded him to do so.

“As a reporter, I have a confession to make,” Cillizza said in the video clip on Thursday.

“I should have pushed harder earlier for more information about Joe Biden’s mental and physical well-being and any signs of decline.”

According to Cillizza, Republicans would “regularly ping me” during his tenure at CNN to quiz him as to why he didn’t address obvious signs of the 82-year-old president’s deterioration.

Cillizza recalled how he would “brush them off” because he had not seen “evidence” that Biden was faltering — despite numerous verbal gaffes, physical stumbles and instances when the president appeared to lose his train of thought while speaking in public.

A bombshell report by the Wall Street Journal on Thursday detailed how Biden’s aides carefully stage-managed his presidency in order to conceal the extent of his age-related decline.

According to the Journal, meetings that were scheduled between Biden and top national security officials as early as the spring of 2021 would either be rescheduled or could be scrapped altogether because the president “has good days and bad days, and today was a bad day.”

Lawmakers told the Journal that they had limited contact with the president, who was largely insulated by his fiercely loyal staff.

The former CNN pundit, who read excerpts from the Journal report in his video, said he accepted the White House’s position that Biden was fine and that he was deterred from pursuing the matter due to the guilt he felt about “age-shaming” the president.

“The White House and the people around Joe Biden were absolutely adamant that suggesting anything — asking the question about whether he was in some physical, mental or both decline, was offensive,” Cillizza said on Thursday.

“‘How could you? It’s age-shaming.’ And I think that impacted me at some level,” he admitted.

Cillizza said that “while I did ask the question from time to time … I didn’t really push on it, if I’m being honest.”

“Now, once I left CNN and once it became a little bit more clear to me about Biden’s age, I think I did write pretty regularly and talk pretty regularly about how I wasn’t sure that this guy was up to it,” the former pundit added.

“And then obviously, after the June 27 debate, everybody, including me, was writing and talking about it.”

The debate, which made it obvious to the public that Biden was diminished, led Democratic power brokers, including former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, to nudge him from the presidential race.

Biden then endorsed Vice President Kamala Harris, who went on to lose the Nov. 5 election to Donald Trump.

“I probably should’ve pushed harder on the Biden age stuff because, in retrospect, it’s clear that the people close to him knew that at best, he had some good days and some bad days,” Cillizza acknowledged.

“June 27, the debate clearly was a bad day. But if the bad day was that bad, as bad as he performed on that debate stage, the fact that he had been president without a whole lot of questions being asked about his physical and mental decline … I think is a little bit concerning and begs the question of, like, when did people near him know, what did they know, and why did they not share?” Cillizza said.

Meghan McCain, the daughter of the late Sen. John McCain, blasted Cillizza while noting that “there was no bigger and more obsessive ‘McCain truther’ regarding my dad’s age when he ran in 2008 [when he was 71 mind you] than Chris.”

“He ignored Biden because he’s a hack,” McCain wrote on X. _______________________

[ninthcircleofprythian]

Just Call My Name

Part 2 to Kiss- Don't Tell

Cassian/Azriel

Word Count - 4.7k

Summary - After an unsuccesful night out at Rita's, a tipsy Azriel can't stop thinking about his previous shared night with Cassian

Warnings - intoxication and talk of alcohol, friends don't let friends fly druink, smutty M/M goodness, graphic descriptions of sex, biting and scratching, Az has a secret praise kink

Author's Notes - this part 2 was requested by a wonderful anon (sorry it took me so long). So anon - I hope you enjoy. Consider this my Solstice present just for you. As usual thanks to @tsunami-of-tears for the dividers, my lovely divider queen.

Azriel pressed his back harder into the wall behind him, slinking even further into the shadows that were clinging to this corner of the bar. His sharp hazel eyes wandered over the crowd, ever the Spymaster, always scanning his surroundings.

Rita’s wasn’t as lively as it would have been on a weekend. The weeknight crowd was still raucous but more sparse than the usual bunch. Cloaking himself further into the darkness, Az obscured himself from view. No one seemed to notice though. He caught sight of his friends having fun among the crowd, neither one of them bothering to worry about Azriel and his moodiness. 

Rhysand was in the center of the dance floor, a gorgeous blonde attached to his front, her slender hands skimming over his chest as they swayed to the heavy beat of the music. Leaning closer, Rhys smoothly tucked her hair behind her ear before lowering his mouth and whispering something. Whatever it was must have been delightfully funny as the blonde threw her head back in laughter, exposing her neck to the High Lord. Az watched his friend’s eyes darken with a predatory gleam, like an animal stalking his prey. 

Across the long bar, Azriel’s eyes tracked down his other companion. Cassian was perched atop one of the barstools, muscled arms on full display in his sleeveless tunic. A lithe and lovely brunette was leaning flirtatiously close to him, just close enough to assume they were together but not touching. Just like the blonde, she too found something hilarious about whatever he said, tossing her long hair over her shoulder as she giggled. 

The pattern of behavior from both women intrigued Az. The laughter, the subtle shows of flirting, Cassian’s tight smile in response, his laughter that sounded forced instead of its usual freely released sound. Surely Cas had spotted better prospects among the crowd if he was holding back on this beauty. Interesting, but not enough to stick around and dissect. 

He supposed now was as good a time as any considering both his friends had found someone else to occupy their time. With a flick of his hand, the shadows dispersed and revealed himself to the room once more, just long enough to flag down the bartender so he could pay his tab. The thought of falling into the quiet solace of his own bed blessedly alone didn’t give Azriel the satisfaction he was hoping for. Instead it sent a strangely uncomfortable ripple through his gut.

Tossing the feeling aside, he attributed it to his rather hefty consumption of alcohol before promptly cloaking himself once more in shadow and slipping through the crowd into the cold night.

The rather stunning brunette leaned into Cassian once more as she laughed merrily at his latest quip. He hardly noticed the long line of her neck as she tossed her hair more obviously this time, instead finding himself staring into his drink trying to remember what she had said her name was. 

Was it Phaedre? Or maybe Dierdre?

He couldn’t recall. Her shoulder casually brushing against his shook him from his thoughts but it was the slender hand that landed perfectly on his large thigh under the bar that had him shifting uncomfortably. 

He had kept his body centered toward the bar during the entirety of their conversation hoping that maybe his refusal to face her would be hint enough without being outright rude. It seemed however that she wasn’t picking up on his signals.

“Your drink is looking awfully empty there,” she commented smoothly as she flagged down the bartender from the other end of the bar. 

“Ah, well, it’s for the best,” Cas remarked as he drained the last swig of his drink. “I really should be cutting myself off.”

“Oh c’mon!” she wailed pitifully with an exaggerated pout. “It’s still early. Live a little!”

The playful nudge of her body against his did little to sway his decision. As the bartender approached, he ordered another of her fruity drinks but slid his own empty glass across the bar and signaled for the tab.

“Early to bed, early to rise as they say. Can’t keep looking this good being hungover all the time.” A subtle flex of his bicep had her giggling all over again, her hands roaming over the exposed muscles. “Besides, I should really be getting my friends home. One of them didn’t seem to be having a great time before I lost sight of him in the crowd.”

“Suit yourself,” she said icily with another flick of her long hair. Grabbing her free drink from the bar top, she popped the cherry into her mouth and sauntered off. Cassian almost felt bad that she had wasted all her time vying for his attention all night when it was obvious she could have landed any other male she pleased. 

Rolling his shoulders and releasing the guilt, he tipped the bartender handsomely and made his way through the crowd towards the door. 

Reaching the sidewalk just outside the door to Rita’s, Cas quickly noted his lack of sleeves or a coat. He almost chuckled aloud at the irony of wanting to show off his chiseled arms earlier in the night and now leaving very much alone. 

Stuffing his hands deeper into his leather’s pockets, he scanned ahead on the sidewalk and caught sight of Az further down the block. He hadn’t expected to actually be able to catch up to Azriel but judging by the way he was weaving over the cobblestones, Cassian couldn't say he was surprised. 

“Hey,” Cas hollered as he jogged to catch up. “Sneaking off so soon?”

The sudden voice behind Az in the nearly still Velaris night startled him out of whatever reverie he had been in. Just as his head swiveled to find the source, his foot slipped off the edge of the curb, rolling his ankle and sending him sideways. Azriel’s wings flared in an attempt to steady himself but it was the two calloused hands gripping around his upper arm that saved him from his descent. 

“Whoa there,” Cas laughed. “Allow me to escort you home, Spymaster.” With a firm tug, Az was yanked back up onto the walkway and set straight again.

Even in his liquor-addled mind, Azriel still quickly noted how this sound was different than the one he witnessed earlier. Less restrained, more free. Az scoffed as he shoved his shoulder into Cas, more to dismiss the fixation over his laugh than anything else.

“Where’s your date?,” he mumbled.

“Oh, her?” A sly smile bloomed as Cassian cocked an eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure she was just trying to make Rhys jealous for picking the blonde over her. I don’t think she was that into me.”

A short singular grunt was all that came from Az in response as they continued their way over the cobblestones. Just a few strides further in silence and another misstep left Az reeling for balance as he tripped over his own foot. Once again it was Cassian’s reflexes that saved him. Bare arms snapped out in a fraction of a second and gripped his shoulders like a vice. 

“Ok, I’ve seen enough,” Cas admonished with a lopsided smile. Moving himself around his friend, he planted himself directly in front of Azriel, all the while his hands remained firmly holding him upright. 

Once he was satisfied that Az wasn’t going to topple forward without a bracing hand, Cas held his arms out in front of him as if carrying an invisible load. “Jump up, pretty boy.”

No sly smile or ringing laugh followed the command. Cas waited expectantly for Az to follow through. 

“I’m fine,” Az grumbled. Since his friend was insisting on blocking the way forward, he attempted to dodge past him, swerving more aggressively than he intended. 

“You can’t even walk in a straight line,” Cas noted as one of his muscled arms braced itself across Azriel’s chest. “I’d hate to see you try to fly in one.”

The normally stoic face of the shadowsinger quickly showed the annoyance that was bubbling its way to the surface. “I’ll grab a room at the inn then,” he spat out as he swiveled around to walk in the opposite direction.

“Oh c’mon, Azzy,” Cas sing-songed from alongside him as he trailed Az in the same direction. “It’s not like I’ve never carried you princess style before.”

Az didn’t even need to glance over at the male’s face to know that the sly grin had made a reappearance but he did hear the barely swallowed chuckle that nearly escaped Cassian’s throat.

That noise, though halted, is what caused that annoyance from a bubble to a flare. “I was grievously injured,” he gritted through his teeth. 

“Injured. Drunk. What’s the difference?” Once again, Cas’s muscled arm braced over him, this time across his back. Az couldn’t say that he wasn’t grateful for the steadying presence this time as he felt the ground beneath him begin to tilt once more. 

“Besides,” Cas continued. “Do you really want to toss and turn in a bed not even meant for wings when you can have your own luxurious one in just a matter of minutes?” A smooth spread of his own webbed wings punctuated his point.

Azriel halted midstep and considered his options. It was true that the beds at the inn weren’t built for the hulking frames of Illyrians, much less the wings. The desire from earlier in the night to find solace in his own bed pulsed back to life, this time without the same uncomfortable rolling sensation in his gut. 

I’m not going home alone after all. I’m going home with Cassian. That thought however produced a wildly different sensation. One that was quickly shaken from Azriel’s head.

“Fine,” he growled. “But not a word about it afterwards.”

Cas didn’t even wait for Az to finish his statement before scooping him up into the cradle of his arms and settling his heavy frame against the hard muscle of his body. 

“And watch the wings,” Azriel grumbled as he shifted the appendages into a tight tuck against his back. 

“Certainly, darling,” Cas teased lightly. “Just hold any hurling until we land, alright?”

The jarring force of the kickoff rattled through Azriel’s head. The alcohol of the evening seemed to be catching up to him quicker especially now that he was in the air and gaining altitude. Screwing his eyes shut, Az quelled that noxious feeling that the world would just start spinning rapidly beneath them. The cold wind whipping against his face rallied his senses into something resembling normalcy, as long as he didn’t peer over the arms that carried him to the ground far far below. 

Choosing not to focus on the movement of their bodies through the sky, Azriel instead honed in on the chill seeping into his body on one side and the warmth permeating from Cassian on the other. Eyes closed and the silence of the sky surrounding them, Az couldn’t help but allow his head to settle peacefully into the nook of Cassian’s shoulder.

The lull was broken by a sudden short dip in flight. Azriel’s hand moved instinctually to grip at the front of Cassian’s shirt.

“Sorry,” Cas grunted apologetically with a chuckle. “It’s been awhile since I’ve had a passenger of your stature.”

Azriel didn’t respond, his face still hovering so closely to Cassian’s neck that he could see his throat bob as he swallowed. His hand remained where it landed, still grasping the fabric against Cassian’s hard chest. Az’s gaze traveled up from the hard planes of muscle beneath fabric to the side of his neck once more, landing on the peek of collarbone that was revealed. The sudden urge to drag the tip of his nose along that slender protrusion was nearly overwhelming. He leaned in without thinking, holding back at the last second and inhaling Cas’s scent deeply instead. 

Another dip, this time a slow controlled descent followed by the reverberations of feet meeting stone. Cassian stood on the balcony of the House of Wind, unmoving. His arms still bearing the weight of the warrior within them and he made no effort to rid himself of his cargo. For a moment he considered continuing into the confines of the house and carrying his presumably sleeping friend to bed, until he felt the subtle shift of Azriel’s hand.

Releasing his hold along Cas’s shirt, Az slowly dragged his hand over the swell of muscle beneath. Ridged fingers glided smoothly over cloth to the exposed skin of his neck. The heat no longer held back by a shirt, Azriel felt it flood through his palm at just the same time that he noticed the pulse beneath picking up speed.

Feeling Az’s head lifting from his shoulder, Cassian swiveled his glance to meet his gaze. The motion pressed his thrumming pulse harder into the palm still settled there and his breath hitched in his chest. 

Slowly peeling his eyes open and meeting the glittered ones above him, Azriel paused for a fraction of a moment. “Cas?” He intoned softly.

Without a response and with a gentle bend of the knee, Cassian lowered his frame and righted Azriel to his feet, hands hovering a moment in case he swayed. 

The hand along his neck slipped but not before a testing swipe of scarred thumb along his stubbled jawline. So subtle in fact that Cassian questioned internally whether it was intentional or not. He didn’t leave himself time to decide, his hand moved of its own accord to catch the one dropping back down to Az’s side, slowing its fall and allowing his fingers to intertwine briefly before they returned to their respective owners. 

Azriel didn’t drop his eyes or turn to move toward the house. Cas remained steadfast, rooted on the spot, staring back into those eyes hazy with inebriation. Or was it something else?

“You should get some sleep, Az.” He said roughly, like gravel in his throat.

Neither Illyrian made the first move, the suggestion hanging in the air between them as Cassian watched that haze drift through Azriel’s eyes before realizing it wasn’t inebriation. 

Just as Az opened his mouth to speak, whether in protest or plea, Cassian didn’t let him finish. 

“It’s – “ he swallowed thickly. “It’s not a good idea. Not right now.”

Clearing his throat abruptly, Az jerked his shoulder sharply toward the direction of the house as he turned to head inside. “Yeah. Sleep. Of course, you’re right.”

The shadows along his shoulders began to gather thickly as Azriel walked off into the entrance hall. 

Again, Cassian’s hand moved of its own volition without thought and caught his wrist. “You’ve been drinking.” Not a statement but an apology. 

His movement halted by the digits encircling his arm, Az said nothing. One half hearted pull against the restraint and he was released before immediately allowing the shadows to engulf him and disappearing.

In the confines of his own room the air felt colder, despite the roaring fire already lit by the house, presumably ever since their presence had been detected on the balcony. Azriel stood there watching the flames mulling over the thoughts that barraged his mind. 

You’ve been drinking. 

Now in the quiet of his room, Azriel was no longer sure whether it had been an apology or an excuse to let him down gently. 

Maybe the last time was just that. The last time. 

Az felt his skin flush hot at the memories that invaded. Cassian’s hands on his skin. Their mouths drinking each other in deeply. The feel of their hands meeting over their most sensitive areas. 

He shook the whirring thoughts from his mind as he kicked off his remaining clothes, briefly considering a bath to relax his mind before ultimately deciding that sleep was the better choice. Hopeful that the oblivion of slumber would claim him quickly in his altered state, Azriel flopped into bed. 

He didn’t even bother with pulling back the covers and tucking himself into the sheets. With the roaring fire and the alcohol still working its magic in his bloodstream, he was more than warm enough. Stretched out on his stomach, he punched his pillow into a more comfortable place and spread his wings in relaxation spanning the entirety of the bed. 

Maybe it was disgust. The thought prodded at him as he attempted to fall asleep, pulling the memory of Cassian’s face to the front of his mind in order to dissect it. He couldn’t help the maelstrom that was stirring, the thoughts swirling faster and faster beyond his control.

Closing his eyes, rolling onto his side, staring at the ceiling - nothing helped. Azriel tossed and turned until finally he pulled himself from bed and into the bathroom. After drinking an impressive amount of water he splashed his face straight from the tap. As he returned to bed, he left the faelight burning over the sink and the bathroom door open, allowing the soft warm light to spread into the room. Hoping maybe it would work to chase away the thoughts and invite sleep much like it did as a child when he believed there were monsters under his bed. 

He fell into bed once more, this time staring at the patterns of light streaming across the ceiling. The warmth that the light brought to the room wasn’t the warmth he was wanting.

Several hours later, Az padded his way into the bathroom once more. His shadows had given up on soothing him long ago and had found their place scattered over the expanse of the bottom of the bed, weary and still in their own form of slumber. 

Sleep had evaded Azriel however, and as he stood before the mirror and scrubbed his hands over his face once more in exasperation, he saw the evidence clearly on his face. Tossing and turning all night had left him with heavy lids and bloodshot eyes staring back at himself - tired but sober. 

Sober.

Before another creeping bloom of a thought could reach its tendrils into his mind, he turned and stormed from the room. The shift in his energy and flurry of movement bolted his shadows into wakefulness as they zoomed out the door after him.

Reaching the door down the hall, his hand reached out and turned the handle before he could even consider pausing and rethinking. 

The shadows slipped through the door before it was fully opened and now they hovered, swirling silently over the form upon the bed before him, a sleeping hulk of Illyrian warrior. Cassian didn’t stir from the gentle caress of those dark tendrils over exposed skin. 

“Cas?” Az queried into the dark, barely above a whisper.

Even in its hushed tone the sound of his name crashed through the haze of sleep and jolted him awake.

“Az?” Cassian answered, worry bleeding into his voice as he shoved himself up to sit. 

The only answer in the darkness of his room was the shuffling of wings and feet. Cassian felt the nervous energy that permeated the air carried in the shadows that still corralled around him. Before he could voice concern, that whispery voice sounded again.

“I haven’t changed my mind.”

The words hung in the silence between them. Cassian sat stock still, now perched on the side of his bed, heart racing.

“I –,” he swallowed the knot forming in his throat. “I need you to know that I turned her down.”

In the span of a breath, Cassian felt the energy before him, Azriel’s presence as he winnowed the short distance to the bed. Just as before on the balcony, his hand moved without thought to reach into the darkness for the scarred hand hanging at Az’s side. 

A testing swipe of his thumb across ridged palm and he felt Az closing his fingers around his own. That was all the signal Cas needed. One insistent tug and he pulled Azriel closer, bringing his face closer to his own and sliding his free hand to cup Azriel’s jaw.

“Well, come on then,” Cassian whispered over the surface of his lips. “Let’s wear you out.”

Their lips met, Cassian tender and teasing as he pried open the seam of Azriel’s mouth with his tongue. Azriel responded hungry and wild. 

Nipping gently at his bottom lip, Cassian tugged as he leaned back on the mattress, inviting Az to follow. Nestled among the pillows, his hands were free to explore and his calloused fingers roamed over smooth muscle tense with desire.

Azriel followed suit, scarred hands brushing over skin. One placed along the side of Cassian’s neck, pressing against his erratic pulse. The other slid down over his hip and along his taut thigh. Cassian had always preferred to sleep in the nude and right then Azriel had never been more grateful.

Following the unspoken thought, Cassian’s fingers caught in the waistband of the briefs Az had tossed on in his hurry. In a rush of tangled limbs, Azriel briefly broke the frenzied kiss and reached down to rid himself of his scant clothing.

As Azriel’s hardened length was freed between them, it landed beside Cassian’s own against his belly. Cas stretched briefly to the side reaching for the side table drawer. Blindly grabbing, he knew what he was after and turned back to press the bottle of oil to Az’s chest in command.

Pulling away from Cas’s mouth and kneeling upright, Az popped the lid open and drizzled oil into his palm before grasping his cock in hand and tossing the bottle aside. Fingers still slick, he reached down and coated the tight ring of Cassian’s backside before pressing the tips of two fingers inside. 

Cassian accepted the intrusion with a bend of his knees as his legs fell open wider and a shudder ran through his body, wings spread over the bed. The tremble permeated his voice as he let out a deep moan.

Settling deeper into the male beneath him, Az draped his body over Cassian. Tucking his wings in tight to his frame, he leaned in to nuzzle at his collarbone. The purely male scent invaded his senses and he didn’t even attempt to curb the urge to bite. Teeth scraping over skin against bone, Cas released another sinful sound. Whether from the biting or the intoxicating curl of his fingers buried inside him, Az wasn’t sure, so he repeated both actions with intensity.

Azriel could feel the straining hardness of himself, jumping in time to the noises that escaped Cassian writhing beneath him. With a testing thrust, he ground against him, cock slipping into the crease of where Cassian’s thigh met groin. 

The friction sent a heady thrill through him like a shockwave and yet still left him wanting. His roving mouth continued to nip and bite his way over the taut planes of Cas’s body. Every bruising pinch of skin was met with the scraping of nails along the back of Azriel’s arms. 

Sitting upright into a kneel once more, Az removed his fingers from Cassian and grabbed his hips roughly, firm ass planted squarely onto Azriel’s thighs.Textured thumbs swept over the graceful hip bones before his hand circled the base of his own cock and lined up at the other male’s entrance. 

Cassian shifted slightly in Az’s lap readying himself. “Don’t rush,” he heaved out breathlessly.

The command felt electric across Azriel’s skin, zinging outward to the tips of his wings. Knowing that Cas wanted more than a hurried coupling in the night made the sensation of pressing the tip of his cock inward that much sweeter. 

Pressure gave way to incredible warmth, tight and throbbing as Azriel gasped out a moan. The flutter of intrusion began to calm around Az’s aching cock and he started to rock in small even strokes. Each slight push further inside he could feel the flex of Cas’s thigh muscles rippling under his hand.

“Yes,” Cas cried hoarsely. “Perfect.” The word came out almost choked as Cassian threw his head back further into the pillows in pleasure.

Fully seated Azriel paused, leaning forward over Cas once more. The raging urge to withdraw and thrust forward harshly felt like a burning pain along the base of his spine. Pressing his lips once again to Cas’s neck, he tasted the fine layer of salty sweat as he licked at damp skin.

Bringing his hands up, Cas caressed Az's ribcage in encouragement and nuzzled his lips against his ear.

“Say it.” Az whispered, much the same way he had when he had entered this room earlier. Quiet and meek.

The tongue dancing along Az’s lobe paused in confusion, unsure of what exactly he was asking him to say. Az rocked gently into him, sending a jolt of pleasure rolling through Cas once more. 

Answering the question unasked, he repeated. “Say it.” Azriel sagged slightly against the body below him as if resigned. “Call me pretty.”

Cassian could almost feel the pained embarrassment spreading over him for asking for what he wanted. His tongue darted out once more to pull his lobe between his teeth before rolling his hips against Az and feeling his cock twitch inside him. Azriel responded with a harder roll of his hips.

“That’s it,” Cas moaned. “That’s my pretty boy.”

Relief flooded into Az at the words he so desperately wanted to hear. Snapping his head to the side he latched his mouth once more to the side of Cassian’s neck, feeling his racing pulse against his tongue and briefly wondering whether it would feel the same as his cock pressed there. Drawing back, he thrusted hard. 

He set a rhythmic pace, panting against Cassian’s mouth and catching his moans between his teeth. Savoring each sound against his taste buds. With each punishing plunge he could feel Cas’s nails digging into whatever body part they were grappling for. Shoulders, arms, hips, back. The burn of barely broken skin spurred him on, adding to the pleasure coursing through him.

The picture in his mind of seeing that evidence in the mirror come daybreak, bright red lines marking his skin, a claim of who he shared a bed with, sent Azriel into a stuttering rhythm. He could feel his impending release building, cresting ever closer.

Az continued to thrust as he kneeled upright again. With one hand he pressed Cassian’s swollen and leaking cock firmly against himself, feeling the velvety skin glide across his lower belly. 

“Cassian,” Azriel whimpered as he gripped harder along his cock just as Cassian swung his legs around his hips. Az glanced down to see the tendons of the male’s hands straining as he clawed at the bed sheets beneath him, his pleasure just as merciless as his own. 

“Give it to me,” Cas cried with a roll of his hips. “Please, pretty boy.” He could hardly catch his breath enough to utter the plea.

The plea hitting Azriel’s ear sent a tidal wave through his body and his cock responded with release. Pulsing wave after wave filled Cas’s insides and as the throbbing slowed, Az fell forward. Barely catching himself on his forearms, still rocking into Cassian’s body. Moments later, Cassian’s warm release was forced out between their sweat slick bodies as he bit down along Azriel’s shoulder. 

Az laid there, spent and satiated. The thoughts that had plagued him earlier in the night,quiet and still much like the shadows that had abandoned them both. Heavy with exhaustion, he relaxed fully on top of Cas. 

Cassian did not rush him. He only trailed rough soothing fingertips over the broken skin he had caused along an expansive back. 

“Tired yet?” Cas whispered against his hair, lips brushing gently before being followed with a tender kiss. 

Azriel just pulled out and rolled onto the mattress with a grunted sigh, wings flaring on top of the night cooled sheets they hadn’t occupied yet. 

Rolling over on his side, Cas was mindful of not tangling their wings together as he reached over and slid his hand onto Az’s chest. It was quickly met with Az’s scarred hand squeezing on top of it and twining their fingers together as he listened to his heartbeat slow. 

Pulling himself further up on the pillows, Cassian shifted his arm beneath him free and brought his other large hand to Azriel’s forehead. Thick fingers combed through dark curls, pushing them back from falling into his face and scrubbing gently along Az’s scalp.

“Close your pretty eyes,” Cas whispered as Az listened diligently and his eyelids fluttered shut. “Get some sleep, Az.”

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[calitears]

𐙚 be my angel

“they say it's me, that makes you do things you might not have done”

megumi x reader • birthday fic

word count: 1,141

Unboxing the small cake from the cardboard box that had held it, you carefully slid it out, turning it by the edges of plate. You smiled at the final result of the order you had placed last week, dark chocolate cake with the least sweet option of frosting the bakery offered, the baker really out did themselves. The next step was to unbox the candles, the white 2’s with a dark blue outline, and carefully placing them on the cake, making sure the words ‘happy birthday megumi’ spelt in navy blue jelly didn’t get messed up.

Today was your boyfriend’s 22nd birthday, and coincidentally just so happened to be your first year anniversary. It was hard to believe an entire year had already passed by since the night you accidentally confessed to him at the ‘surprise’ birthday party Yuji had thrown for him.

That night Megumi had already known about his best friend’s scheme, and it honestly crossed his mind to avoid it. But at the end of the day, it was you who convinced him to attend. It was always you to drag him along anywhere and everywhere.

When you first met him, could compare Megumi to the personification of melancholy. You know your love hasn’t had an easy life, which you assumed is why you almost always saw him thinking off into space, refreshing his mind of happy memories, yet what seemed to be a sad longing. That was just the way he was. You would learn he didn’t find joy or interest in much materialistic things, instead he’d seek comfort and reassurance in actions and words. And slowly, you introduced him to the idea of touch as a love language.

Experiencing something new and so nice in the present, maybe helped him move forward from the past.

People often considered you the most affectionate in the relationship, you’d hear teasing comments come from his friends, Yuji or Nobara, about how it was always you to initiate anything between you guys. It was always you who forced him to be included. The thought that maybe you loved him more than he did you had crossed your mind before.

But you knew that wasn’t true. Because Megumi Fushiguro wasn’t the type to love empty. He would do acts of service, he would repay people he felt he owed, even when he didn’t. In his mind, if someone was injured or hurt due to something he could’ve prevented, even when he had no responsibility too, he owed them.

Yet one thing he’d never do, is give his heart as a form of payment. And so you thanked whatever religion out there for the ability to be able to love a man that loved you harder. Because there was no one else he would spend hours into the night talking to, there was no one else he’d surrender his body too, no one else that he would put aside his own opinions for and buy whatever material thing you wanted, no one else he’d turn his casual acts of service into romantic gestures for, and no one else he whispered ‘i love you’ to while drifting off to sleep.

And yet knowing this you always feared he’d leave you, not for another woman, but for the dark reality that existed outside of your relationship. The thoughts that plagued his mind if you let him sink that far deep into his own head. But you swore exactly one year ago, when he had for the first time in his life spilled his heart out to someone, to you, when you both had wandered away from the party, that you wouldn’t ever let him drown. You wouldn’t let him be lonely, and so that’s why you try so hard to include him, to fit him in.

You placed the gifts you had gotten your boyfriend next to the cake on the table. A wrapped vinyl he had been eyeing every time you wandered past the record shop, a bag of books you knew had been on his reading list for ages that he himself probably forgot about, and a pendant you had carefully chosen out for him, the main reason being the stone matched his eyes almost perfectly.

Just as you stepped back you heard the front door of your apartment open, signalling your boyfriend’s arrival. After choosing to celebrate your anniversary earlier in the day, you planned him to come over at the end to celebrate his birthday. Making whatever excuse to have a buffer of time between to be able to pick up his cake, and bring out his gifts.

Megumi was surprised at the sight of the set up, his heart skipping a beat at just the idea of you taking a moment to appreciate him. He was almost startled when you moved next to him and held onto his arm.

“happy birthday ‘gumi….”

Megumi looked at you, his eyes meeting yours and his lips twitching into the small smile you had grown to recognize.

“…thank you.”

You smiled back at him, tugging his arm and pulling him over to the table, sitting him down in the chair in front of the cake. Megumi letting out a short amused huff watched as you picked the lighter off the table, and quickly lit the ‘22’ candles placed on top of it.

“…make a wish!”

The smile was still spread across his lips, before he blew gently, mainly to amuse you. You ruffled his hair in response, before wrapping your arms around his shoulders and placing your chin on the top of his head.

“what’d you wish for?”

“can’t say.”

You huffed playfully, placing a small kiss on the top of his head, “Why?”

Megumi wasn’t superstitious, in fact he didn’t really have any sort of beliefs like that at all, but even then he would admit that he wouldn’t risk anything to have his wish not come true. Because he couldn’t handle if you loving him forever didn’t become a reality.

“‘cause then it won’t come true…”

You laughed, before reaching out to the cake and scooping frosting on your finger only to smudge it on his face. He huffed and pouted, only to immediately return the favor, turning around and smudging frosting acrossing you cheek.

Both letting out a quiet laugh as you pulled out the chair next to him and sat down, scooping up frosting on your finger again, but this time smudging it on his lips, only to lean in and clean them through a kiss.

The taste of Megumi and the slight sweetness of the frosting was intoxicating, and when he pulled back first, gently cupping your face, the glint in his eyes made you understand he was more than happy.

“happy birthday angel,” you whispered, wiping the leftover frosting off the tip of his nose.

[bisexualbrainrots]

a while ago I had an idea for a one-shot, sort of inspired by @ohithankyou's posts about lexie grey's confession to mark, and I just got to start writing it. it's 3rd person, tommy's pov (for the most of it)

so, here's a snippet, it's still in the works.

and yeah, tommy is NOT doing okay, he's a very unreliable narrator here.

It should be awkward, shouldn't it?

Tommy's standing outside on the porch, trying to convince himself to just knock, but it's getting harder. It's especially hard since he can hear the music and loud conversations taking place inside, and he fears he will ruin the atmosphere.

He squeezes the bag, This is stupid he thinks, they don't want me here.

He wants them to not want him here.

It would be much easier that way, if the resentment was still fresh in their brains and they could just shut him out, but it's been over 5 months and resentment is probably a thing from the past, at least for most of them. Resentment would be much easier than what Tommy has in mind: indifference, like he stopped existing entirely to them and there's no reason to remember him even. Yeah, that hurts more.

But I deserve it.

After what was probably 5 minutes but felt like 5 hours, he finally rang the doorbell, taking a few steps behind to make his presence less threatening.

A warm smile received him, the kind eyes of Sergeant Grant looking straight at him.

“Tommy! You made it” he wanted to believe this was all an act, that her warm arms pulling him into a hug were just a way to pretend, for her to be civil about this, and yet, he missed them.

Missed this.

Missed the way in which her arm, like right now, would drive him inside the new place the couple built for themselves, missed the little comments about what they were having to eat and drink, and missed the way in which Bobby would appear, a beer bottle in hand ready for him to drink accompanied by a big smile.

“I’m glad you could make it Tommy, I didn't know if you'd feel up to it”

The coldness of the bottle helped him to ground himself, to remind himself this was just a cordial invitation: he wasn't a priority.

“For you and Athena? Believe me I'd even fly into a hurricane again” a small smile appeared on his lips when the couple laughed, both holding onto each other with a love he always dreamed of.

A love he let himself lose.

He looked down at the big bag, suddenly nervous about what he had gotten them “I-I got you two this, as a housewarming gift” Bobby's fingers brushing against his as he took the bag felt like fire, like he was being burned and was being warned and reminded not to get too close again “You don't have to hang it anywhere it's just— you can even put it in the garage if you want”

Athena's eyebrow arched and looked at Bobby, a question in both of their minds as they took the Kraft paper covered rectangle out of the bag. Their reaction when the paper was ripped would've made a good video, the kind that spread throughout social media and even reached the news.

Their eyes were glued to the painting, sparkling as they took in the details: a faceless couple dancing around what looked like dusts of wind, with leafs and flowers around them. The piece had a warm palette, except for the couple: a combination of pink and purple. “A hurricane of love” read the post-it note attached to the corner, which made the couple gasp when Bobby took it out, revealing the signature.

“You made this?” Bobby's voice hitched, and Tommy hoped it was a good thing that the man's eyes were glistening.

He nodded, his cheeks feeling strangely warm, and fidgeted with his fingers “I took on painting after—” he stopped himself from talking, a lump in his throat that suddenly made it harder for him to keep going.

After I broke my own heart.

[whateverisbeautiful]

Do you think Rick ever attempted to tell Michonne how he felt about her? I wondered if he tried and got scared or someone interrupted them. How do you think Rick trying would have gone?

I really like this question too! I can absolutely see there being moments where Rick wanted to tell her how he feels and maybe even came close to before something stopped him. Since in TOWL he admitted he didn’t know what to do about being in love with her for a while there, I think those mints ended up being pretty important in helping him finally figure out how to let Michonne know how he feels about her.

This post actually feels like the perfect place to put my Part Two of what I think happened with Rick and Michonne during that time jump between No Way Out and The Next World because I address this question some more in my play-by-play. So this is Part Two - what I think happened in that time jump to make Rick and Michonne be like this the next time we see them in 6.10 ⬇️💗:

As always, my extra self has to start right from where they left off in No Way Out, which includes one of my favorite TWD episode endings when Rick speaks to Carl and then Carl ever-so-lightly takes his hand.

I’ve always loved the staging of that scene too with Michone holding Judith right outside the room. It’s such a visual confirmation of the family unit they are. And I can envision that when Rick notices that Carl took his hand he calls Michonne in to tell her about Carl’s movement and they're really happy and relieved and it’s a moment where it’s pretty hard to ignore how much the two of them feel like a mom and dad. 

So then I’d think that Carl probably has to stay at the infirmary for a certain amount of time for Denise to monitor him in the earliest stages of his recovery. And Rick and Michonne visit every single day to be with Carl and help look after him. I feel like the community probably agreed that after NWO, Rick needs a little break from leadership so that he can focus on tending to Carl. So during this time, others step up around the community while Rick and Michonne have a lot more time to tend to Carl and be at home with Judith. I think spending all that time together really tightens Rick and Michonne’s bond even more.

And one of the biggest things I’m convinced we were robbed of seeing during this time jump is the increase in Richonne’s physical touch. I think Rick and Michonne got a lot more comfortable with showing affection through touch during this time. Nothing blatantly romantic of course but like those little low fives or nudges on the couch. They start doing those types of touches a lot more often. Along with ramping up the flirtation and the little glances that suggest this dynamic isn’t nearly as platonic as they’ve tried to act like it is because there’s some real yearning and desire evident during this time.

I can picture that there’s one night where maybe Michonne puts Judith to bed while Rick is downstairs putting away dishes and then on the way to her room they both just end up sitting on the couch and staying up late talking - something they subconsciously might have been more hesitant to do when Carl was in the house prior considering the whole son’s best friend/best friend’s dad thing. But while Carl is still in the infirmary, they end up feeling a bit more comfortable to spend this time together at night. And those nighttime chats then become a staple part of their daily routine that Rick and Michonne both really look forward to.

Like it’s so a part of their routine that even when they’re tired after a long day, they go to the couch instead of going to bed because they want to make sure they still get that time to decompress together.

And I think their conversations just flow so easily and they operate so organically as best friends, while also knowing it’s getting harder and harder to act like all they are is best friends. Especially when Rick decides to officially remove his wedding ring during this time - something I imagine Michonne did notice.

I feel like Judith also starts really clinging to Michonne like a mom during this time. Like I always love it when the baby who plays Judith reaches for Michonne during that 6.10 scene on the porch and even sounds like she says Michonne’s name. I always like to think that Judith feels so bonded to Michonne by that point.

And maybe Rick and Michonne even like to make predictions on when they think Judith will start crawling as they often like to smile over watching her "practice" on the baby monitor during their nighttime chats.

I can picture that on one of those nights, Rick thanks Michonne for saving his and Carl’s life when Ron had that gun on him and notes how she’s saved his life quite a few times and he feels like he owes her. And she’d tell him that he doesn’t owe her and again the silence after is so clearly her “because I love you and you’ve given me a whole family” but she doesn’t say all that and Rick doesn’t profess his love yet either. They just let the nice moment be. 

So then there’s the portion of time when Carl can finally come home and Denise teaches Rick and Michonne what they’ll need to do with Carl home, like how to wrap his bandages and do physical therapy. With Carl home, I picture that Rick and Michonne get a good routine going of how to take care of him and help him during this time of adjusting to his new life with one eye. It's all just even more confirmation that the two of them parent and operate like a well-oiled machine.

Some days are smoother than others because I think Carl would understandably have some days where the recovery is frustrating for him. But Carl is a fighter too so overall he’s resilient and keeps a good spirit during recovery. And Rick and Michonne try to make things as smooth as possible for him and they’re able to lean on each other when it’s hard or emotional to see Carl struggling. They’re both just so grateful Carl is alive. 

I think the four of them would have family dinner together every night and Carl can even peep that the bonding Rick and Michonne have done lately is so clearly because they’re into each other. Like I just know that the look Carl gave Michonne the morning after she was with Rick has to do with Carl being like I knew I was picking up on the right vibes in this house all this time. 😂

In my mind, I imagine that Michonne is best at changing the bandages so she often is the one who does that for Carl in the mornings. I think one of those mornings she’s getting ready for the day and realizes she’s out of toothpaste. So, wearing her robe and towel, she initially is going to ask Carl to borrow his before bandaging him but then she sees Rick’s bedroom door is open so she just asks him.

And Rick does have some toothpaste left and gives it to her while trying very hard to just seem casual about her showing up in her robe the first time lol. But he’s definitely not mad at the sight he sees. 😋

And then soon it just becomes a thing for Michonne to borrow Rick’s toothpaste in the mornings during their family's little morning routine.

Rick and Michonne still of course want to contribute to the community so Rick starts going back out on those runs with Daryl and Michonne takes on some guard shifts at the gate. Once again, I think Daryl is observant that Rick has been real cheery lately and he knows that, on top of the good news of Carl surviving and the community proving they’re capable of surviving too, it’s whatever Rick has going with Michonne that plays a big part in why he’s smiling and snapping to music on their supply runs.

I also think on Rick and Daryl's supply runs, Rick would always somehow find ways to bring up Michonne in their conversations - because he’s a man in love. And Rick thinks he’s bringing Michonne up casually and subtly but it’s not either of those things to Daryl lol. But again, Daryl mostly keeps those observations to himself, even tho the thought "if this idiot doesn't make a damn move on her already" likely crossed his mind at minimum three times.

There was a time when I would have thought that maybe Rick never outright told Daryl that he had fallen for Michonne pre-canon. But honestly seeing the way Rick is a guy who can wear his heart on his sleeve at times, I wouldn't be surprised if maybe he did open up to Daryl more straightforwardly about how he's in love with his son's best friend and doesn't exactly know how to best proceed. And Daryl is a man of few words but I'd imagine that even the few words he'd offer up about the situation would be somehow helpful or reassuring to his brother.

And then, even with Carl home, Rick and Michonne definitely still continue to have their nighttime chats between just the two of them. Even tho now maybe sometimes Carl will come downstairs for water or a snack and be like 'you guys are still up talking?' 🤭

I do think there could have been one night where they were talking and laughing, and everything in Rick wanted to just tell Michonne how he feels and even lean in and kiss her. Because again, he’s aware during this time that he’s in love with her.

Like maybe there’s a moment where Michonne even asks about why he stopped wearing the ring, sorta like how she asked Carl why he stopped wearing the sherrif hat in season 4. And Rick is about to say something about how it didn’t feel right anymore to wear the ring while he’s in love with someone else and he’d turn that into the moment he tells Michonne how he feels about her…But I bet they do have something that interrupts his chance. Like maybe Judith starts crying or Carl or Daryl walks into the kitchen or something so they sorta have to just let the moment pass again.

While Michonne would have reacted really positively to Rick professing his feelings for her at any point during this time jump, I think the actual timing of how Richonne got together ended up being perfect for them. After all the build-up of their slow burn, I think it’s better that their first officially romantic moment didn’t have to be a whole conversation but rather them just leading with their hearts and being passionately in the moment, rather than Rick perhaps directly telling her he’s fallen for her and maybe nervously adding something like “if that’s too much right now I understand” like the talk they had in 4.11. 

But I think these unseen time jump exchanges where Rick hoped to “find his moment," is also part of why Rick had that look that he had just before he kissed Michonne in 6.10. In that scene, I always feel like he looked at her like I think this might finally be my uninterrupted chance to kiss her and oh wow she looks like she wants me to.

I also feel like some of Rick’s hesitation to make a move before 6.10 was because he really didn’t want to potentially ruin what they have now by moving too fast or escalating in a way that Michonne may not want. So I think he just decided in his mind that if ever she gives the green light then he won’t hold back in letting her know how he feels, but he’ll wait until she’s comfortable enough for that. 

Until then, he’s just loving all their little exchanges throughout the day. And Michonne loves it too. She’s also aware she’s fallen in love with him by this point, but Rick is her best friend’s dad and they have such a good thing going as a family that I think she too is hesitant to make her feelings known and find out if it’s mutual. So like Rick, she's working up to it. Especially with Deanna’s final words to her ringing through her mind often during this time - “What do you want? Now you go figure it out.”

But one morning, Michonne remembers that she still doesn’t have toothpaste of her own so she goes up to Rick’s room to borrow it like she normally does. However, this time he’s all out too. And so is Carl.

All of them being out of toothpaste ends up being a blessing in disguise tho. Because fortunately, this is also the same day Rick very intentionally finds the perfect minty alternative. 😌

And those mints lead to Rick and Michonne finally acting on all the blatant love, desire, and sexual tension that they’d been steaming up the house with the last few weeks. 

And that’s my 'little' detailed play-by-play of what I think life was like for Rick and Michonne during that very impactful Season 6 time jump. 👌🏽😊

Also, I had said in Part One that this Part Two would possibly be less lengthy, but I checked and this one is longer than the first. 😅 They were just too fun to write and imagine. Thanks for reading them! I really do appreciate each person who takes the time to read my thoughts. 🙏🏽💕