#and i think this game has a lot to think about regarding that

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi! I'm trying to get into writing twst fanfiction, but I'm having some trouble with keeping the boys in-character. What do you think are their base traits? Like, what's the foundation of their personalities?

Hello! I spent a long time debating about whether to respond to this ask or not. Ultimately, a lot of the thoughts I would include in my response are the same as what I have already expressed here. However, I've noticed that this has become sort of a recurring issue, so I'd like to address this more seriously.

I've recently been getting a lot of people requesting that I basically tell them how to write the Twst characters. Tens and tens of them, in fact (too many to include all in one post). Sometimes it's an ask like, "please list out strengths/weaknesses or a summary of their character traits", and sometimes it's more specific like, "here is a prompt I am working on; how do you think [character] would act in this situation?" I'm NOT comfortable with either type of ask and refuse to answer asks of this nature.

I want to be clear: this is NOT the same as asking for general writing advice; this is literally just asking to be spoon-fed the answers. There is a difference between seeking advice on how to overcome writer's block or asking what are techniques to show, don't tell (which is general writing advice) versus asking someone to specifically instruct them on how to write Leona Kingscholar from the hit Disney mobile game Twisted Wonderland. The former is okay with me, while the latter is not.

While I am flattered that people care about my opinion and hold it in high regard, I am not here to be a cheat sheet, and nor are my opinions the "most correct". There is no single "correct" way to write a character, and even if there was, it's certainly not mine. Only the Twst devs themselves are the "most correct", as whatever they produce is what ends up as canon.

As I have said in my previous post on this topic, having someone else tell you how to write does little to help you. Writing is a skill, and skills are not inherent. They are something you train in, practice, and learn. Looking at a bunch of adjectives will not help you write or understand the characters any better than you currently do. If anything, it just means you don’t develop or practice your critical analysis skills. In a worse-case scenario, it devalues what a writer does, as it places the burden on them to condense what they know into a laundry list of characterization--as if it doesn't take us tons of time to hone those writing skills. The only real way to get the results you want is to do your own research, develop your own interpretations, and practice, practice, practice. There is no magic pill or shortcut or streamlining or easy way to do it and come out with a quality result. You have to be willing to put in the time and the effort to learn a skill, and that extends to writing, be it for this fandom, another fandom, or even for non-fandom writing. Think about it like this: when you're writing a good research paper, do you go and ask a single other source to gather all your data and summarize it for you? Of course not. You have to go out and manually collect the resources, do the reading, take notes, and gain an understanding of those resources. Then you use your newfound knowledge to summarize and to synthesize your own conclusions in your research paper. The same logic applies for writing in fandom.

I'm not sure why there is this sudden interest in shortcuts. Is it social media shortening our attention spans? Is it the rise of A.I. like ChatGPT making people more reliant on and more comfortable with summaries? Is it that people are concerned with nailing characterization or instant success the first time around? Is it that the internet's so much crueler with comments + feedback that we want to avoid OOC-ness as much as possible? Is it that I just so happen to like talking about character analysis so people think I must know everything? It could be any of these reasons or a combination of them--but whatever the reasoning is, it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It's concerning to me that it seems like people are becoming less and less interested in thinking for themselves and instead are increasingly reliant on others telling them how to create. You NEED to fail and get stuff wrong. You NEED to be able to have the courage to try things on your own. Don't be afraid of failure--failure isn't inherently a bad thing, it is how we learn, grow, and shape our own styles and ways of thinking! I definitely was not perfect when I first started out. I had to fail and stumble and struggle to get my craft to where it is today. So did every single one of your favorite creators. Artists had stick figures, writers had their first words. No artist or writer started off making masterpieces. Arguably, they still don't. Every creator is continuously learning and trying to improve their craft. It's not as though they hit perfection one day and decided to stay stagnant. I feel that it devalues what we make when we try to boil down all the skill we've developed into easy "answer keys" for others to digest. Again, you can ask all you want and seek out as many shortcuts as you like, but that's not going to be properly absorbed into your brain unless you walk the walk for yourself. You can't assume that learning these things will be as easy as reading a summary, memorizing a tutorial, figuring out what brush someone uses, etc.--it wasn't for the people you're asking for this advice from either. Failing is normal and expected. You will also never be able to create something that pleases everyone or something that everyone agrees with--so instead of trying to appeal to an unseen audience, please focus on creating what makes you happy. You have your own creative journeys ahead of you, so don't be scared to walk that road! It can be tough and you'll hit roadblocks and challenges--but overcome them, and you'll become even stronger and more skilled than you were before.

Best of luck!

[ronearoundblindly]

Hi!! I just found your blog and 😭😭 you're so talented, like, what?? I def need more!!! I dunno if this is how it works, or if you're still doing the dirty asks game, but I was thinking maybe E,K,U and S (or Z!) for Johnny?

Have a lovely day!! oh, and well, happy new year 🙂‍↕️

Prompts are from this ask game and part of my ongoing list of answers! You can also find A, B, C, D, and V already answered for this boi.

Warnings for...well...they are dirty asks so be prepared for sexy and sexual content 😉 including (but not limited to) discussion of oral, somnophilia, ummmm tickling? emotional unavailability? and idk other stuff. MINORS DNI.

Happy New Year! I love ya! I appreciate you taking the time, dearie 💜 Happy reading... 😈💋

K - Kissing

So this...implies some romance that's not typical for Johnny. His kissing is less emotional and more intense and deep--but seriously, it's not an indication of his longterm interest or level of affection. (There is an exception to this which is Johnny has no problem giving hickies. He will mark. you. up. ((He can't be marked in the same way due to healing.))

HOWEVER, those small, nonchalant pecks--if Johnny ends up smooching you and it doesn't lead to sex, it wasn't in the middle of sex, or especially if there's no one around to see it,--that's THE REAL DEAL. Something utterly devoted has sparked inside him if (and when) Johnny slows down to kiss you. Or slows for any reason, really.

In regards to where Johnny likes to kiss or be kissed? Again, he's not much of a kisser. He's big on touching and groping and tickling, since he's a goofball and true 'player,' i.e. Johnny is nearly always playful, but once there's a connection made with you, he...

okay, so, the thing is, he actually does like to be kissed, and the place that drives Johnny wild is above his dick, right at his adonis belt, that v-cut, the pubes. This is so ridiculously intimate/possessive/reverent; he can barely handle the conflicting drives to melt beneath or conquer you. Strange thing...he would have thought the proximity would just make him want a blowjob but instead he's a goner.

U - Underwear

Commando. Easy-Access Man. Next question.

LOL, just kidding. Mostly, Johnny wears nothing, certainly not with his Human Torch second skin. He used to wear boxers but lost too many of those to a smoldering heap. No point.

On women? Crotchless panties are his favorite, but there's this new trend of booty shorts--he's very, very into them. Generally, he would have thought anything less-is-more would be best in his eyes, but there's this kinda *pop* in the stretchy fabric when it jumps over the swell of your ass...mmhmmm IT'S GOOD.

S - Sleepy Sex

Sleepy morning? You are 100% welcome to wake him up with some head or ride his cock to your heart's content, but Johnny himself doesn't usually start stuff first thing. This goes hand in hand with him being unable to slow down much. He's all about releasing tension before bed though. A good romp to tire him out and calm the mind? Absofuckinglutely. No, he doesn't particularly care if you were already asleep. You'll thank him later. Don't worry. It's always worth your his while.

Z - Zones

Classic man. Go for his neck or his crotch. Johnny is a #basicbitch in this respect. It feeds his ego to be touched all over--duh, he's got this glorious bod, you should want to touch him,--but he has never been a fan of biting, on him or on others. Since he's just about always in the mood, it does not take a lot of foreplay to get him ready.

E - Extra Info

Unpopular opinion: I imagine that perhaps the ultimate show of love/devotion/possession to Johnny is not marriage and all that normal stuff but, instead, if you let him brand you.

He works hard and focuses to not burn people, so you allowing him permanently claim you as his--which he would not do in a casual way, not with random hookups and one-night-stands, not until he is sure that word won't get back to Sue who would kill him--shows a level of trust he didn't believe he would want much less earn.

Johnny is aware he's a ridiculous and kinda stunted man-child emotionally. He's smart enough to know that. Johnny will never stop being grateful to the woman who can stick around, see past it, and grow with him...playfully, of course. You should never stop roasting him about the man-child-ness.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Dirty Asks Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[supernotnatural2005]

Aww Alex! Thank you. 🥹 thank for taking the time to read it! It means so much!

I agree with you there! I love touching on/reading pre season Dean stories. Mostly to forgot about all the trauma he faces later on lol 😅 but I think he’s such an enigma, has so many possible layers at different points in his life. And yes, they are quite similar, the ‘feel so deeply, but pretend they don’t’ type. 😂

My heart's breaking here because that's probably how Dean felt--abandoned. But also his (lack of) self-worth coming into play.

I understand how you feel! 😩 Especially after a recent post regarding John, and how he spent Adam’s birthday at a baseball game, and Dean was sent off on his own to hunt on his. He was only more affectionate towards Adam and Sam and Dean was just brushed off 😭

And that is where the layers come in 😂 i can imagine Dean’s emotions are all over the place at that age, maybe it’s the immaturity, trying to navigate them, but i imagine him like a sponge of just feelings, but slowly over time it just got dry and it makes my heart hurt 😭

Someone related this to how Cassie maybe could have handled this situation. And i see it. I feel like she was the only person he ever opened up to and got shot down, never tried again. Lisa only knew because she had to. So i had to give him something 😅

But again, thank you so much for taking the time to read my stuff, and for your lovely feedback. ❤️ It means a lot!

In the Eyes of a Hunter

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Summary: Dean finally had a few days spare from hunting with his dad to come see you at college. Though you weren’t exclusive, seeing you with another man opens up a can of feelings Dean had so desperately been trying to keep closed, and a confession that could change everything.

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: Angst, self doubt, Dean really needs to appreciate himself more 😩

AN: I know the gif is of Alec (Dark Angel) but, i couldn’t help but see a young Dean and this idea came to me 😅 It's a little more on the angsty side, but I promise the fluff is there. Also Happy New year! I know I've been away, not posting for a little while, but I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things. I hope you guys enjoy this one, let me know what you think?

Masterlist

2003

The crappy daytime shows weren’t cutting it, even in their static form from the ancient TV the motel provided. 

You were supposed to have been here two hours ago. That was the plan. Your class finished at 2, and then you were free for the day. Free to see him. 

After all, he had come all this way for you. What little time he could get away from hunting, he gave to you. He actively ignored the reason as to why he did, not wanting to admit the truth of it. Knowing it would cause more harm than it was worth. 

But as he sat here, aimlessly staring at the fuzzy figures on the screen, time slowly ticking away, his mind restless and full of scenarios that only seemed to bother him the more they spiralled, he realised maybe the harm had already been done. 

Deciding he’d waited long enough, he dropped the remote in his lap with a huff and took another look at the digital clock beside him. 

4:15 pm. 

He stood up from the bed and gathered his leather jacket and keys to the Impala his dad had officially given to him last month and headed out. Maybe you’d just gotten held up in class. He was no ‘Mr. College,’ but he understood there was a lot on your plate. At least from the last few times he’d come to see you. The stress had almost brought you to tears more than a few times, so he couldn’t understand Sammy’s desire to go. But hey ho, what did he know? He killed monsters for a living.

The rumble of the engine purred beneath him as he started the ignition. The sound echoed in the almost empty lot, bringing a proud smirk to his lips. He still couldn’t believe she was finally his. 

This car had been one of the only other constants in Dean’s life, getting them from A to B, sometimes even calling her home for the night. He knew as soon as his dad handed him the keys and handed him the responsibility of looking after her, he’d do everything in his power to do just that. 

As he drove toward your campus, the signs of autumn were heavily present with the flutters of orange and yellow leaves falling from the trees; his mind drifted to thoughts of you again. 

He had met you a year ago, having rolled through town to deal with a simple salt and burn case. He was riding solo, his dad dealing with more dire matters, like a fresh trail on Yellow Eyes. Sam had left a few months prior to go make it as a hotshot lawyer in California, leaving Dean alone in the aftermath. 

The fight between Sam and John had been ugly. Dean resorted to the middleman, as usual. He was proud of Sammy, more so that he was actually able to stand up to John, but he couldn’t help but feel the sting of abandonment. What did he have other than this job and his loyalty to finding the thing that took his mother?

After he wrapped up the case, he’d treated himself to a celebratory drink at one of the local bars, which happened to be a student hot spot, and that’s where he’d met you. 

He had noticed you almost immediately. You were breathtaking, and he’d found himself glancing in your direction more often than not, watching as you’d laughed and drank with your friends. You were so carefree, beautiful, and way out of his league for many reasons. Those reasons only multiplying once he’d gotten to know you, and they still rang true to this day.

You’d caught him staring; eventually, he’d seen your eyes flicker in his direction a few times. Despite his own self-deprecations, Dean knew he was good-looking, knew the effect he had on women, and he was surprisingly good at playing the confident ‘bad boy.’. 

He’d never really given much thought to anything other than a one-time thing. For one, it was easier that way. He never stayed in one place for longer than a couple of days, and secondly, his job wasn’t your normal 9 to 5, and having attachments was dangerous. 

However, as soon as you’d made your way over to him, after what had looked like some encouragement from your friends, and introduced yourself with that faux drunk confidence, he was hooked. 

At the time, you had just entered your senior year, and you had told him of your plans to take a gap year once you’d graduated. Like Dean, you felt a little lost in life, though for completely different reasons. Your major was something your father had insisted on, despite it not being what you had wanted to do. Apparently his plan was to have you work at his company, maybe even take over for him one day, but you hated all that corporate bullshit. 

So Dean already could relate. A demanding father whose opinion was the one and only. Maybe he did understand why Sam had left more than he originally thought. Like right now, he had this mission, his dad’s mission, yet once that was over, what next? Did he just continue what he was doing? Living off of stolen credit cards, diner food, and cheap motel rooms?

The more he got to know you, your desires and dreams to travel the world, live, and experience life, he found himself picturing that, wanting that too. You had a way of making everything seem brighter and more hopeful, making him feel like there was more to life than just a ‘job.’. 

He knows now why he kept coming back to you, why he still keeps coming back. Because for once in his life he felt seen, felt wanted, understood. And maybe it was time for him to tell you that. To tell you the truth. Consequences be damned. 

However, it was all wishful thinking, and Dean’s search for you was cut short when he spotted you walking out of the student library, your beautiful smile and sounds of laughter filtering through his open window, and beside you, another man. 

He felt his chest constrict, his stomach churn uncomfortably at the sight. His knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel tight. He rolled to a stop and watched as you continued to laugh at whatever this douchebag was saying to you. 

He knew he had no right to be jealous. You weren’t exclusive. He was the one who’d made that clear, and surprisingly you had been okay with it. You didn’t know what he really did for a living, just that he had to travel a lot for ‘the family business.’. 

Though, with his recent self-revelation that his feelings for you ran much deeper than something casual, this felt like a punch to the gut. Maybe this was a sign that this whole thing was a bad idea. Why getting close to someone was not on the cards for him. Of course you would’ve met someone else. How could you not? You were beautiful, smart, funny, and sweet. Why would you wait around for some drifter like him? 

With his insecurities rearing their ugly head, threatening to swallow him whole, he failed to notice the two pairs of eyes on him. It wasn’t until there was a light rap at the window that he snapped out of his thoughts. He jumped a little and looked to where you were leaning down beside the partially opened glass, your expression surprised, but you were smiling nonetheless. 

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Came your innocent question, but it just seemed to rub him the wrong way, that and he noticed that guy lingering a few feet behind you, looking around awkwardly. 

“It was getting late; I thought I’d come see if you were okay, but I can see you’re busy.” He spoke the last words with a little more venom as he nodded to the lingerer. And he hated the slight dip in your brow and the downturn of your lips. 

“I was actually on my way to see you now.” You began, your voice light but weary. “I’m sorry I got held up. Alex just needed some help, and time got away from me.” Your explanation did nothing to calm his nerves. In fact, it made him feel worse. Like he didn’t matter. Again he had no right, but he was already spiralling. 

“You know what? It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” He shrugged you off. “I’m going to have to cut this trip short anyway. Dad called; gotta meet him a few states over.” The lie came easily, but the knife in his heart twisted with each word. You frowned at him, he saw it in his peripheral, but he refused to meet your eyes. He couldn’t. 

“Alex, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He heard you say before you walked around the car and abruptly slipped into the passenger side. 

“What are you doing?” His question came out more snappish than he intended. You folded your arms and sat back in your seat, looking much like a stubborn child.

“We’re going to talk.” You shrugged as if that were obvious. “We can either do that here or back at the motel; your choice.” You levelled him with an unwavering stare, one that crushed his resolve and had him grumpily starting the engine and driving back to the motel. 

You walked past Dean as he opened the door for you, your eyes widening a fraction at the state of the room. It had certainly seen better days; the wallpaper was faded and peeling from the walls, and the carpet had a questionable amount of stains on it. From what? You didn’t hope to find out. He usually stayed in much nicer rooms, but seeing as it was close to the holidays, this was probably all he was going to get. 

You plopped down on the squeaky mattress and looked at him. He was avoiding your eyes, shifting awkwardly in his spot. You’d never seen him this worked up. You liked to think you knew Dean rather well, at least him as a person. He still kept some things to himself, like the details of the job he did with his dad. Sometimes he came to you looking so haunted, but those times weren’t spent with much talking. 

You were beyond curious; Dean was a mystery you were still trying to unravel. However, you knew your standpoint: that you weren’t his girlfriend and never would be. He’d made it clear from the beginning that he didn’t want to make a commitment, yet he kept coming back for you. You didn’t push him as to why he did, in fear he would stop altogether. 

If you were honest with yourself, you had fallen in love with him months ago. Yes, your situation was complicated, and he never stuck around longer than a couple of days. But Dean was special; he wasn’t like the guys you knew at college or in your life in general. He was wise beyond his years, thoughtful, funny, and smart, despite how much he called his younger brother the “brains of the family.” And he was also one of the most handsome men you’d ever laid eyes on. 

“What was that back there?” You decide to just rip the Band-Aid off. You had a pretty good idea, but you wanted to hear it from him. He finally looked to you then, his posture straightening, his arms folding across his chest as if in a defensive stance.

“I told you, I was just checking to see if you were okay.” He spoke as if he didn’t really care for the conversation, but his jaw was ticking, and his brow remained furrowed. “I have to leave, so can we make this quick?” 

It was your turn to frown then. Admittedly, his words stung; you hadn’t even had the chance to see him yet, and now he wanted to leave all of a sudden. 

“Is this because of Alex?” 

“What? No!” His response was quick and higher in pitch, and it only confirmed your assumptions. He was jealous. 

“You know he’s only a friend, right?” You offer, biting back your smile. 

“And? Why would I care who you’re friends with?” He grumbled and looked down at one of the stains on the carpet beneath his boot, fixating on it as if it were the most interesting thing he’d ever seen. 

“It just seems like you do it all.” You shrugged nonchalantly, though your voice tinged with something akin to a teasing tone. His eyes flickered back up to yours, darker than you were expecting. 

“You think I care who you hang around with? Who do you date? I don’t own you. If you want to meet guys and have boyfriends, then go ahead; I’m not stopping you.” His voice rose an octave with each word, his body trembling slightly as he unleashed kept feelings out into the open. 

“It’s not like everyone I’ve ever cared about or loved sticks around. I mean, why would they? I’m a freak, a loser.” He reveals, his eyes widening slightly at his unmeant confession. You sit in stunned silence, not expecting that outburst from him. 

“So if we’re done here, I have to leave.” He quickly adds, embarrassed and angry at himself for saying those things. Things he’d wanted to keep buried and never allow to see the light of day. He hastily begins collecting his things; there's not much, but there’s enough to give you time to snap out of your stupor. 

“Hey.” You grab onto his arm with enough force to stop him from picking up his duffle. He obliges you, but you know you have to select what you say next carefully; otherwise, you’re uncertain as to if you’d ever see him again.

“I don’t know where all that came from, but I don’t think you’re a freak or a loser.” You frown sympathetically at him. It hurt you to hear him speak so lowly of himself.

“Dean, I think the world of you.” You admit it, and his eyes flicker to yours, uncertainty shining in those pools of green. “I know our situation isn’t ideal or even normal, but in this last year of knowing you, I think you’re amazing.” 

“You do?” The question slips out involuntarily, but your responding smile is warm and calms his nerves a little. 

“Dean, you’re the best person I know, the only person I want to see. I haven’t said anything because I know you didn’t want a commitment, but dammit, I love you. I am in love with you.”

Your last word is cut off by the sudden press of his lips. Your surprise squeak quickly turns into a grateful sigh. And you wrap your arms around his shoulders and neck as he hugs you closer to him. 

He breaks away after a few minutes, your breaths mingling in the small gap between where his forehead rests against yours. 

“I’m sorry.” It’s not what you were expecting him to say, but you allow him the time to speak. “I overreacted, and I had no right to.” 

You cup his smooth cheek, which he leans into, and offer him a reassuring smile. “It’s okay.” You swipe a thumb across his cheekbone, and he takes comfort in your touch. 

“I just. I have something I need to tell you. Something I’ve kept from you, been keeping from you.” He sighs, his face tormented and sad as he pulls away. It’s worrying you, but you try to internalise it for his sake. He takes your hand and guides you to the bed until you’re both sitting side by side. 

“Dean, you can tell me anything. You know that, right?” You tell him honestly. He seems to be battling in his own mind, his internal struggle present in his rigid form and fidgeting hands. 

He huffs out a humourless laugh and rubs a hand down his face before looking at you. Really looking, and you sit quietly, but strong, showing him you’re there and are willing to listen. 

“There’s a reason I never told you what I did for a living.” He begins. “For one thing, I didn’t even think we’d even get this far, and there was no point to put that on you.” He shakes his head, his heartbeat in his ears, his stomach in knots. 

“And secondly, it’s dangerous. My job is dangerous, and I’d never want anything to happen to you.” He looks at you pleadingly, and you nod, despite the swarm of questions flooding your mind. 

Meanwhile, Dean blows out a nervous breath; he can’t believe he’s going to tell you the truth. Something he’d been the most adamant about not doing. Though he is in too deep, he knows that now, and you had a right to know, a right to run for the hills about what he was going to confess. He’d even agree with you when you called him crazy and walk out that door and never bother you again if that’s what you wanted. Selfishly, he hopes that isn’t the case, but you had a right to choose. 

“I’m a hunter.” He begins, and it hangs heavy in the air for two different reasons. For you, you’re a little confused, not understanding the dire build-up and Dean because he was unveiling his and his family’s biggest kept secret. 

“To clarify, I don’t hunt deer, elk, or critters in the woods.” He explains, but the alarming look on your face at the only other possibility to you has him panicking. “Not humans either.” He adds with a nervous chuckle, and you visibly relax. 

“I hunt monsters.” He reveals, and you stare at him dumbly for a moment. 

“Monsters?” You repeat, and Dean nods in confirmation. “As in the bogeyman?” 

“Sometimes, yeah.” Dean shrugs as if that was a casual thing to admit. You blink at him, as if you’re trying to process his words, but they don’t quite fit together in your mind. Monsters?

Your heart is pounding now, your mind racing, but all that comes out of your mouth is a shaky laugh, laced with disbelief. “Monsters?” You repeat, your voice thin and tight, like you’re testing the word on your tongue to see if it makes sense.

Dean’s face falls, and for the first time you see him as vulnerable as he’s ever been. There’s something desperate in his eyes, a plea for understanding that only seems to make the pit in your stomach widen.

“Yeah,” he says softly, nodding, but his voice cracks with the weight of the truth he’s just unleashed. “I hunt things that go bump in the night. Demons, ghosts, things like that. Creatures that don’t belong in this world.”

The room feels suddenly smaller. The air thicker. You look at him, your head spinning, and you can feel your pulse quicken as panic starts to creep in. A part of you wants to laugh it off, because this is crazy. There’s no way this could be true, right? Dean isn’t telling you the truth. It has to be some messed-up way for him to push you away.

A cold, sinking feeling settles deep in your chest. “Are you... are you serious?” Your voice comes out shaky, a whisper of disbelief hanging in the air. “Is this some kind of joke? You’re telling me... You hunt monsters?”

His expression tightens, lips pressed into a thin line, as if your question just added a fresh layer of weight to what he’s already carrying. “I’m not joking. I’ve been doing this since I was a kid. Since one of those bastards took my  mom." The room grows silent, both of you respectively reeling from his admission. 

You had always figured Dean’s mom wasn’t in the picture for the pure fact he’d only ever spoken of his dad or younger brother. For what reason you never knew; however, the truth of it was more devastating than you could comprehend. 

When he looks at you again, there’s a pain in his expression that you don’t think you’ve ever seen before, and it’s then you decide this isn’t some elaborate story to make a break-up easier on him or to spook you just for the fun of it. This was very real, and this man had been living it. 

“This life… it’s dangerous. The people I meet, the things I fight, they’ll come after anyone I care about. I never wanted to put you in that position.” Dean says, his voice breaking. “I wanted to keep you safe; you deserve so much more than this, than me. You deserve the truth.”

You stand there, trying to breathe, trying to make sense of the words he’s spoken, but it’s like your entire world has been turned upside down. Dean is telling you about this huge part of his life that he’d kept from you, and you can’t tell if you should be running for the door or if you should stay and try to understand him, to understand this.

“But why? Why did you even let me in?” You ask, your voice catching on the last word. The question haunts you, and you need to understand the answer, even though a part of you is scared of hearing it.

Dean’s eyes soften, and for a moment, you see the man behind the mask, the man who is so full of fear, so full of love, and so completely torn apart. “Because I love you,” he says simply, his voice soft but resolute. “I love you, and I never wanted to hurt you. But I don’t know how to make you understand what I do. How dangerous it is. How it’s too late for me to just stop, even if I wanted to. It’s all I’ve known.”

You’re frozen in place, the weight of his words hitting you harder than anything else. He loves you. It’s the last thing you expected to hear, the last thing you thought you’d ever get from Dean, especially now. But somehow, despite the chaos of it all, you feel your heart calm, just a little. Because the truth is, you really do love him. Despite everything.

You close your eyes for a moment, your mind racing with the enormity of what he’s just confessed. You want to scream, you want to run away and pretend none of this ever happened, but you can’t. You’re not that person. You can’t walk away from him, not now, not after everything you’ve felt for him.

You take a deep breath, forcing the words out, even as they feel foreign and strange in your mouth. “I... I don’t understand this. I don’t get it. But I do get you, Dean. I know who you are, even if I don’t know everything about your life.” You pause, letting the silence hang between you, both of you drowning in the weight of the moment.

And then, almost in defiance of the terror bubbling up inside you, you take a step forward. “I’m scared, Dean. I don’t know what this means for us. But I don’t want to lose you.”

Dean’s eyes flicker, relief and gratitude flooding his face. Slowly, carefully, he reaches out and takes your hand in his. “You won’t lose me,” he promises, his voice barely above a whisper, but the conviction in it is enough to make your heart steady, even if just for a second.

You reach up and press your lips to his, the simple action bringing you the sense of comfort and relief you both needed after such a heavy moment. Dean responds in kind, his hands firm and strong as he holds you close, his kiss soft yet purposeful, charged with an unspoken understanding of what kind of life you were agreeing to embark on. 

There’s so much left unsaid, so much you’re both struggling to understand. But for now, in this small, broken room filled with the weight of the truth, you both know one thing: neither of you is ready to let go just yet.

As you both part, Dean exhales a long, tired breath. His grip on your hips tightens slightly, and in that simple gesture, you can feel the conflict in him, the rawness of everything he's kept buried for so long. And yet, as much as he's terrified of the future, of what this could mean for both of you, there's something almost peaceful in his presence now, as if admitting the truth has, for just a moment, allowed him to let go of the weight he’s been carrying.

“I don’t want to drag you into my mess,” he says quietly, his voice rough. “I don’t know what’s going to happen next. But I want you to know, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. Whatever it costs.”

You look at him, really look at him, seeing all the layers that lie underneath the bravado, the smirks, and the jokes. The broken man who’s been carrying this burden alone for too long. Your heart aches for him, for everything he's had to endure. And as much as the idea of what he does terrifies you, as much as the danger and uncertainty swirl around the edges of your thoughts, there’s still a part of you that feels steady.

You take a deep breath, your thumb gently rubbing the back of his hand. “I’m scared too, Dean. But I won’t walk away from you. Not because of this. But you’re right, we need to figure out what this means. All of it.”

His gaze softens, the hardness in his face fading just a little. “You don’t have to be a part of this. You don’t have to be involved.”

You shake your head, smiling gently. “I don’t know what the future holds, Dean. But if there’s one thing I do know, it’s that I don’t want to face it without you. Not if you’ll let me.”

The silence stretches between you, but it’s not suffocating anymore. It’s not filled with uncertainty or confusion. It’s a quiet understanding, the kind you only get after sharing something raw and unfiltered. He studies you for a long time, his expression softening, before he finally nods. There’s something fragile in that nod, something unspoken that passes between you.

“I didn’t think you’d say that,” he admits, his voice almost a whisper, like he’s afraid saying it out loud might shatter something delicate. “But I’m glad you did.”

You cup his face softly in both of your hands, a simple gesture that means everything right now. “We’ll figure it out,” you say softly. “Together.”

Dean lets out a breath, like he’s been holding it for a lifetime, and for a moment, the tension in his shoulders loosens. The truth may have ripped through the air, but it’s not the end. It’s only the beginning.

AN: Hi all, I'm baaaack lol. This purely came out of the gif above and took on a mind of it's own 😅 what originally started as a jealousy fic turned into a; show some young Dean love fic 😂 I guess this can be perceived as a more positive outcome of him confessing his true life to someone he loves. I hope you guys enjoy ☺️

[sstarfruitz]

hello! i recently got into tsp and really like ur art! i was wondering what is ur fav angsty trope in relation to stanley and the narrator? i need more angsty scenarios to think about :p

oh hoh hoh hoh…………. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….. dont even start with me bro……..

I absolutely love when people explore the more toxic parts of Stanley and Narrator’s dynamic. The fact that Narrator definitely has sadistic tendencies if the Countdown ending is anything to go by, and how he is so insanely egotistical that he finds it appropriate to make Stanley’s life a living hell whenever he doesn’t follow his orders. His whole entire being revolves around his pride as a storyteller in a story that has no end or reason. He is destined to stay in this purgatory forever if he doesn’t let his ego go, but the purgatory is so specifically designed to reinforce it that it seems impossible it could ever happen.

It’s literally like if a spoiled child was given control over a dimension, but that spoiled child is also genuinely unsympathetic and callous. His role in the game reminds me a lot of Bill Cipher in that regard.

And on the other hand, you have Stanley, a completely average and unknowing man who was suddenly spawned into this world, and the Narrator only sees him as a toy. I’m of the belief that Stanley had an entire life he lived before the Parable, and when he was chosen as the protagonist, he was stripped of his ability to speak, ability to have any privacy, and his ability to control his life in any meaningful way. Because the Narrator is so far removed from humanity and sympathy, he quite literally can never understand why this would be such an awful existence for Stanley.

Stanley is also so stubborn and prideful in his own way that he constantly tries to prove his own autonomy to himself and the Narrator in an environment where it’s impossible. Even if Stanley wanted to try and communicate with the Narrator, his voice has been forcibly removed from him both physically and metaphorically. Narrator’s power over him is so beyond Stanley’s control, that the Narrator could never really see Stanley’s thoughts and feelings as anything but an inconvenience for him.

To the Narrator, Stanley’s life and wellbeing is secondary to his role in the story. To Stanley, it’s his whole existence. To Stanley, the Narrator’s role in the story is secondary to his power and control seeping into Stanley’s every thought and action. To the Narrator, it’s his whole existence.

The two are quite literally such opposites that they could never understand the other, so they are destined to always make the lives of the other worse in a situation that is already hell for the both of them.

[zundely]

There is one thing I need to get off my chest regarding the solasmance in the DAV- granted I am not a Solasmamcer so I may not be the best source on that but still something that happened with it in DAV just bewilders me.

I will start by saying- I think making a PC of previous game into an NPC of the next installment is extremely tricky to pull off and may be often just... not worth it. Like at first when they did it with Hawke I found it fun idea but the more I sit with it the more it becomes something that is very cool in theory but sort of fall apart if you poke at it too hard. And with Hawke A LOT of things were working in it's favor- the 3 personality system was the perfect fit for being able to sort of tricky the audience into feeling it's not just any Hawke but your Hawke. The loads of choices imported through the Keep ment that game had the general vibe on your Hawke's opinions on things. Even so Hawke's comments on their partner are made as vague as possible because that's something where there is huge potential for "they would not fucking say that" type of situation. The one expection is Anders and they made like 3 choices about him in the Keep that all influence what Hawke has to say about him- and even with all that we still had a "they would not fucking say that" situation. Hawke was possibly one of the easier PC cameos to make, they had all that going for them and still with all that in some cases they end up feeling kind of OOC.

And now- with all that in mind. We come to the Inquisitor cameo. The Inquistior has pretty much none of what made the Hawke cameo ... doable? They don't have a 3 clear cut personality types, the game didn't carry over every single little choice made through Inquisition to get a general read on what the Inquisitor's deal is nor what was his relationship like with all of his companions. That makes escaping the OOC situation near damn impossible. The Inky would need to be an exposition dump/ side quest given or something and never talk with Rook about ANYONE or with anyone to not have to at least mention something about them that could potentially end up being wrong. But they do not do that and Inky inevetably ends up saying stuff about Solas (regardless if romanced or not) that for some people will feel incredibly OOC. Like the fact that regardless of anything they will refer to him as a past friend... this is just bad. It cheapens it for people who actually made an effort to befriend him in DAI and annoys everyone who made even more effort to punch him in the face.

And then. With that. They went on and decided to have make a Solavellan ending. Now I want to praface- I am not saying that this ending is bad and if you like it you are wrong. If you like it I am honestly And earnestly happy for you. I have no horse in this race, I just think this whole ordeal is something that defies the purpose of romance in RPG games a little bit.

So imagine with me for a moment- a world where DA2 ends right after the Chantry gets blown up. And then in Inquistion get to actually meet Anders and it's the Inky that will decide his fate after dealing with the mage rebellion thing. And you meet Hawke and they can be either like "I liked him, he betrayed me but I still think you should spare him" or "I liked him but he betrayed me, I think you should kill him". No rivalry, no Hawke potentially being on board with the whole thing, no complicated feelings. Anders was my friend/love, he did something bad and the only variation in opinion is if he deserves to die or no. And then Inky can decide to either kill him or spare him and if he spares him he and romanced Hawke get married on the spot and decide to spend the rest of their life on the run.

Now- would that satisfy some players? Maybe. Maybe even some Andersmancers would be on board with it. But this also ignores so much nuance the romance can have. And a lot of people like romances like that in games because they are messy and complicated and don't have to get a happy ending. And sure you can say that you can still not get the happy ending if the Inky just kill him- but it sure does feel a lot cheaper and less effective when it's them doing it then when it's Hawke themselves, doesn't it? Part of the fun with romances in RPGs is even if they feel diffrent and can play out diffrently defending on what your PC does. And having a whole damn payoff of a romance be in the game where your PC is scrubbed off everything that made them your PC and then basically lock you into one specific ending... well, that's just not fun.

So yeah this whole situation made me realize that... I think I am over PC cameos actually. I do not like them I do not think they ever achive much, I think we should go back to the letters and the funny situation in DA2 where almost everyone seems to talk about this Hero of Ferelden guy that Hawke has never met in their life.

[radioactvunicorn]

i am thinking about kentucky route zero again...

[weregonnaneedabiggerboat]

Thanks for your response! QwQ I didn't think anyone was actually going to read this so this was a nice surprise!!

Anyway, I think you've misunderstood my point—

I was being a little tongue in cheek with the whole "I'm a Jax apologist", he is DEFINITELY a jerk most of the time and VERY socially inept, it's kind of funny at times

I wasn't trying to make him look harmless, hell, I never even said he was! I was only saying that a lot of the people in this fandom villainize him a lot and defend characters like Ragatha and Gangle.

Most videos I see on YouTube discussing him completely strip him of any humanity and character, and reduce him to just an asshole that's there to torment people and that he's going to be the big bloodthirsty villain in the end. This is especially with the "Jax is an NPC" theory but that seems to have died down after episode 4

What I was really trying to get at here is that, in my opinion, we aren't shown any proof on screen that Jax deserves to be treated worse than the other characters. Based off of what we've seen so far, the most innocent characters here are Kinger and Pomni, but even Kinger subtly implies in his conversation with Pomni that he was responsible for his wife's abstraction.

Jax's behaviour isn't innocent, but it's not completely incomprehensible. Thinking about things in his perspective, it gets easier to understand why he acts out in the ways he does. People tend to lose their minds in different ways; Jax is trying his best to ignore the situation he's in all together, and keep thinking that he's making the choice to play this video game, when in the back of his mind he knows he's trapped here just like everyone else.

In regards to breaking Gangle's mask, Ragatha could be exaggerating as most people do when she says "You ALWAYS do this!", she could be referring to how mean Jax is in general. But I also want to bring up that in this scene, Ragatha also immediately went to arguing with Jax instead of trying to help Gangle with her mask. This makes both Gangle and Ragatha have the same habit of focusing more on the punishment than on actually solving anything.

Basically; I don't think it's fair to villainize Jax and excuse Gangle's behaviour, especially after episode 4.

A big part of the reason I hate Gangle is because of the fandom's reception of both characters, and it left me feeling confused and conflicted. I had to go back and watch all 4 episodes to compare the characters again and it certainly was an experience lol

Jax seems to have a weird and dark/twisted sense of humour, and if he existed IRL I would for sure be knocking some sense into him. But his actions don't come from nowhere, and like Goose said, every character has a reason behind the way they act.

I think it boils down to what you personally consider to be offensive and the types of people you can handle. If I were around a "Jax" character, I don't think I would mind it too much, but I definitely would be constantly on edge and bothered around a "Gangle" character, if that makes sense. It's because personally, I know how to banter with types like Jax, but when it comes to people like Gangle, I just can't interact with them very well. (For example, if Jax made that "let's make her a pinata and beat her up" towards me, I'd react with laughter instead of anger/irritation because it's the reaction he's least expecting, and because I don't feel threatened by something that won't happen)

I personally just wish that people would try to find the nuance in between each character, that all of them are neutral in the end and none of them are without sin. Just because I personally don't see Jax's behaviour as "that bad" doesn't mean someone else won't be hurt by it, but the same applies for the terrible things that Gangle has done, in that I personally see that as abuse that's worse than what Jax does. It's more personal, more emotionally charged, and it's not just petty surface level teasing and empty threats.

It's really important to be fair here. The constant black and white of "Jax is a villain, torture him!" and "Gangle is innocent, she did nothing wrong!" is really exhausting to see and sort of takes away from both of their characters if I'm being honest

I hope this makes sense and I promise I'm not trying to be mean, I just have autism lol so I apologize for the monotone way I speak

"In this world, the worst thing you can do is make someone think they're not wanted or loved." — Kinger

[windcarvedlyre]

I've been following @druidposting's DR2 playthrough on discord and we just had a really good discussion about DR's Closing Arguments. Specifically the way the murderer is depicted as grey and featureless, which until now I found a bit annoying.

In Danganronpa it's repeatedly the case that we don't have the full picture until the talking actually stops- which always goes beyond the end of the trial. We generally vote first and come to understand what the murderer's actual motive was, sometimes filling in important pieces of the timeline in the process, afterwards.

But none of that matters for the killing game because characters' emotions aren't directly relevant to who was the 'blackened'- the only thing that matters to Monokuma- so it comes out afterwards and does nothing to change their execution. It doesn't matter how sympathetic they are (basically everyone) or whether other people share responsibility for the situation (eg. Hanamura, Pekoyama, Momota) or whether they intended to murder at all (Nanami). They objectively pulled the trigger and nothing else matters. Nothing about them as a person matters.

The Closing Argument mechanic might illustrate that problem- literally. They're a dramatic, conclusive summary of the entire case... constructed before the vote even happens, before we know if we're actually right, and they're missing something really important:

The actual perpetrator.

We quite literally don't even begin to see the real person behind the crime, any real exploration of their mental state, anything besides the cold, hard facts of the murder that are necessary to convict them, until the comic finishes and the protagonist makes their final accusation- replacing the grey figure with their real appearance in a shot that's often intensely emotional.

And these comics lack crucial parts of the case's timeline and sometimes important parts of the very scenes they depict that we only find out about afterwards. And those are what we know; characters may die with some pieces of the truth and prevent us from ever learning them. These aren't objective depictions of the murder, they're the protagonist's subjective attempt to connect the facts they have. A join-the-dots portrait of someone with missing dots and no colour.

Even characters' expressions may not match how they truly feel, with the grey placeholder potentially looking way more confident and sinister than they were in reality. Pasting Falter's commentary here since they put it well.

For obvious reasons this could especially be a problem for characters that die before the trial- the ones we never get a post-vote testimony from. DR1 chapter 4 really highlighted that in the way Asahina's huge misinterpretation of Oogami's feelings took up a lot of the post-trial discussion, only for Monokuma to reveal Oogami's real suicide note and recontextualise everything.

It might really be a problem for how Komaeda's depicted in DR2 chapter 5. While he isn't greyed out, we get panel after panel where he's either level-headed or maniacally evil, and even the depictions of his self-torture and death don't humanise him:

But we know that his real feelings were more complicated than that. We have his actual corpse to compare the last page to.

He died afraid.

If we approach the comic as Hinata's mental image of him instead of reality, he died without anyone truly understanding him. He was alarming, very hard to relate to, actively fought against people doing so, ensured even the killer didn't watch him die, and the survivors couldn't begin to understand his motive until a chapter later. The Closing Argument reflects that.

Early in DR1 Togami calls out the rest of his class for judging others by their own standards. However, he, too, is doing this, maybe more so than many other characters; his inability to view other people through anything but the cold, brutal logic of the killing game bites him in the ass in chapter 4. In DR2 chapter 2 voting without a good understanding of Pekoyama's motive or Kuzuryuu's involvement nearly got everyone killed. Komaeda's a walking embodiment of the problems with flattening people into caricatures and not empathising with them, suffered from people doing that back to him, and his case- the Closing Argument for which turned everyone else into grey placeholders- was impossible to solve with objective facts. It was only survivable because the survivors cooperated and one person tried to analyse things the way he would.

The games have always been a critique of the justice system and Japanese society and push us to care about others as individuals, not reduce them to- and judge their right to exist by- something they've done or their net impact on society. There are always consequences when someone neglects to do that, and the above might be yet another way the games explore that theme.

[usedtobeathrowaway]

how much do you think it weighed on Eggman's mind learning his grandfather, whom he based some of his life and ideology on, in the end wanted to destroy all humans, destroy the earth... that, Eggman, his own grandson was on?

[thewardenisonthecase]

btw tw for talking about abuse

I've seen a lot online about how the game never mentions Caterina's abuse of Lucanis while he was growing up (being beaten and starved, which is mentioned in the Wigmaker Job) and I think there's a small mention to it if you're a crow (when asked, he says it was torture training under the first talon and that he resented her for a long time)

And while I do think part of the reason why this isn't brought up is just due to how sanitized this game is when it comes to the crows, I think I do understand why in world wise it's not possible to just be like hey lucanis, fuck your grandma.

It's really hard, loving someone who hurts you. Because you know they're hurting you and yet, you still love them. It's even harder when they're family.

Because its not like Lucanis doesn't know that she hurt him. He says so himself - he hated her, he resented her, and althought I do think him 'justifying' it by saying that at least it prepared him for the life of a crow, at least he still admits that it happened.

But the thing is that despite all this shit, she's still his grandmother. And like, yes, blood shouldn't excuse justifing this behaviour, I feel like it's cultural. Idk how spain or italy works when it comes to family, but here in brazil, you'll hear so many stories of physical abuse happening in families, and its still a situation like Lucanis - i hate them, i resent them, i love them, they're my family.

It's a...complicated situation and I think Lucanis's situation is made worst by the fact that he only has two family members alive and that he cannot let go of.

She beat him, she starved him, he hated and resented her, and he was afraid of dissapointing her, even if in her eyes, i don't think he could. I mean, he comes back an abomination and she still tenderly says 'my poor boy' when you rescue her in the Villa.

All in all...it's tought and I think that it would not be Rook's place to suddenly make Lucanis want to kill his grandma bc he wouldn't. Sorting out those feelings is something he has to do himself, and i'l almost glad the game doesn't make rook do a therapy session with him to talk about it.

[ao3cassandraic]

this is a good and juicy question

We know that clothing holds significance for both angels and demons: it signifies allegiance and rank, at minimum, and possibly also job type (we don't see enough different kinds of Angels With Jobs to be perfectly clear on this).

That said, both angels and demons seem to take their sartorial cues from Earth. s1!Gabriel, for example, "likes the clothes," his sole apparent regret regarding the destruction of Earth. We see in various flashbacks as well as present-day that angels, at least, dress roughly contemporaneously with Earth cultures. Roughly. Shax's gorgeous s2 burgundy ensemble is total 1940s, for example, and her hitchhiker garb has a lot of 1970s in it.

(Which raises a question: is Aziraphale's stubborn clinging to his 19th-century-ish garb a tinge of rebellion? Or standard-issue angel/demon timelooseness? Reasonable arguments both ways, I think.)

One thing is... we don't entirely know why Aziraphale shows up after his oh-fuck discorporation in whites? It would sure be interesting to know if it was Aziraphale's choice, consciously or not -- I have to think he could have shown up dressed differently, like the Quartermaster or the rest of his platoon, for example. On the whole, I think Aziraphale's will is the answer; if Heaven had autodressed him, the Quartermaster wouldn't have had to hand him the uniform he promptly hands back. (And I think Aziraphale is too respectful of human craft to just miracle back the clothes he lost in discorporation. Adam doesn't care; Adam does exactly as he pleases.)

But that means we don't know whether the Metatron either can or will re-dress Aziraphale for Heaven. If he can... yeah, I could totally see the nasty bastard hiding his gross invasive power move behind more "gift" discourse or flattery ("got to look sharp given your New Status"). If his plan is to use Aziraphale to mess with the other archangels -- either as an extension of his own authority or as a chaos bomb -- an archangelic outfit Aziraphale can't refuse would fit that plan nicely.

I don't think he can, though, or he'd have denuded Gabriel on the spot after that Zoom meeting. He may well be able to mess miraculously with his own garments, but we have no evidence he can do that to another angel, and some evidence he can't/won't. He could certainly offer Aziraphale a new outfit -- and I think that's likely, clothing holding the significance it does in Heaven -- but I doubt he'll miracle it on him.

So that leaves it up to Aziraphale. His options, best I can tell:

Stay with his Earth garb. Actually kind of a cool power move? "Heaven cannot and will not redefine me." I rather like this for him. It sure fits with that closing-credits feral smile, and it throws the other archangels off their little status games. (Plus I wouldn't put it past that Nefertiti-fooling fellow to have something handy in his pocketses, Bilbo-style. I will lose my shit if it's Chekhov's derringer.)

Choose a new power suit. Only under duress, I think. He'd hate everything about it, and I think he's more than smart enough to know it wouldn't actually elevate his status in the eyes of the Metatron, Michael, Uriel, Sandalphon, or Saraqael.

Deliberately choose the outfit of a low-ranking angel like Muriel. Super-duper interesting move, beautiful solidarity, but unmistakably adversarial to the Metatron. (Totally here for a kilted Sheen, though! KILT SOCK FLASHES Y'ALL. Next best thing to sock garters.) Low-probability, at least at first, but I'd love to see it.

So yeah, no, I don't have an answer I'm wholly confident in here. The possibilities are intriguing, though! Oh for a peek into the costume shop...

Good Omens season 3/finale thought of the day:

So Aziraphale went to heaven wearing his favourite earthly clothing.

But there’s no way The Metatron is going to allow him to continue wearing it when he gets to Heaven right? How do you think that’s going to play out? More subtle hints and jibes and threats from The Metatron about stripping himself of earthly pleasures perhaps? And he’ll probably be really pointed on the word pleasures. Just to hit the point home about what Aziraphale is giving up.

What attire do you think he’ll be forced to wear instead? Some kind of gray outfit like the rest of the archangels? Or something similar to what he wore in S1?

Or something different altogether? Love to hear your thoughts.

[greatgoddyke]

some bobbles (+ two unfinished things)

[leatherbookmark]

Doing a JLPT N1 workbook -- not because I have any plans of taking the exam, I just got worried about forgetting all the Japanese I know -- and of course they'd do this thing where the subchapter introducing particular phrases gives rather typical, predictable examples of their use, but the general comprehension check test has examples where the phrases are used in a way that's just. Weird. >:/

[moe-broey]

You know Henriette is lowkey kind of anime (like the SuMo anime) Lusamine-core. To me

[rogerbarel]

I am very fond of interpretations that are, "the text, but a little to the left," because I think they tell us about what the reader finds interesting and meaningful. I want to see things I wouldn't have thought of! There are as many Treys in this world as there are readers, and that's exciting! Tbh I originally came from the TWST community on Twitter, which did NOT see it this way and loved to throw around the accusation of nonexistent media literacy (while clearly not knowing what that entails), so I didn't share my thoughts very often.

I agree, that person would have to prove it! Trey is too cautious to be so forthright with just anybody, and I'm sure he knows that some people think they can handle the truth when they absolutely cannot. That process of earning trust is something I think about a lot and want to watch. Sorry to Vil but l I kind of love his "spoiling/babying." Some of us want a little of that in our lives!! l think that even if he manages to drop that anxious anticipation of every possible bad outcome, he will still be prone to spoiling his loved ones (with a big side of teasing). But he's gotta have a positive--not so anxious--relationship with that behavior before he can indulge in it without risk of burning himself out. Basically... I hope he can take that babying urge and apply it not to avoiding crisis/placating people, but showing appreciation when he wants.

I also love a self-indulgent HC. I've been in different fandoms where people were way more willing to go off the walls with those, and I miss it. I just wish we had a chiller fandom environment, man. I love his lil mean streak!! I've referred to the TWST boys as sour patch kids in the past, and I'll stick by it. Mean on the outside, something not-nice-but-perhaps-more-affectionate on the inside. Trey is just kind of reversed in that regard. I don't think he'd pull a Floyd Dorm Card busting down someone's door if he didn't check himself, but he could get... Hmm. What's the word I'm looking for... Sneaky? The tiniest bit sleazy? And also shady. Definitely shady. There's definitely some deadpan sarcastic internal commentary going on there.

The teasing is one of the BEST parts of a big brother archetype!! 😭 He's a tease, kinda goofy, and plays childish pranks when he can! Like Malleus, his juxtaposition of maturity and childishness ends up making him cuter imo.

I want him to be doted upon! Praised, spoiled, given what he deserves and then some! 😭😭😭 He wouldn't have a damn clue what to do with himself! This reminds me of how much I miss Ghost Bride. Trey got absolutely no game... Either he's gonna woo someone half by accident or someone's gonna have to eat him up.

Nope, never cried! Just kind of... in shock. Where did he develop that habit of immediately trying to fix things? Is it because he's an eldest brother who needs to be (and look) reliable, or something else? I think if he cries, my wailing will be heard throughout the world. I'll put it on my wall.

I know he's more popular, at least with yumes, in JP, and I've seen a blog or two discussing that his subtlety is probably a big part of that. Not only is this an EN/JP difference, but it could an age difference, too--EN has a younger audience, supposedly, who are perhaps less charmed by the concept of "Boring" but steady.

I think people consider him both boring and not... as visually exciting... as much of the cast lol. He is just a guy with grass on his head. And so, as you said, people aren't as interested in delving into his appeal. I think a small twist would be nice. Something to give Ace and Deuce a good surprise when they get into his dream. But not a supervillain one. Albeit I will probably still be in love with him if that happens, too. (I actually kinda like Hans ngl. The buildup sucks, but conceptually he is so yummy.)

Triple-Layer Cake/A Half-Baked Trey Clover Ramble

I've done this rant in more private places but am finally putting it on tumblr. This is going to be its third rewrite (if you count the time I did it as a fifty-tweet thread on yumepriv, which I'm not sure you should), but it is probably not any more cohesive since that isn't my strong suit. I'm basically throwing possible motivations for Trey's behavior at a wall and seeing what sticks. I also still don't know if I'm cooking, stating what everybody already knows, or am drawing completely unreasonable conclusions unsupported by the text. Nonetheless, I scream into the void once again. Actual material under the cut.

contains spoilers for EN-unreleased birthday vignettes

A while back, before I was even on tumblr again, this screenshot of a tumblr post about fandom misinterpreting a character in the exact way that character would want to be misinterpreted was floating around. And it made me think of Trey because approximately 50% of things do. For as long as I've been adjacent to the fandom, there's been this whole debate on how much of his "responsible big brother" image is deliberate/fake vs how much of it is genuine.

And I don't know if I like that more either/or approach to him. Trey's like Shrek. An ogre. An onion. He's got layers. But he's also a baker, and cakes are sexier than onions, so I'm opting for the more thematically appropriate analogy even if it doesn't work as well as far as visibility goes. (Although I suppose you might taste the layers separately/in order.) I'm honestly just being stubborn with this analogy. Bear with me, please.

Everybody sees his nurturing top layer, both in- and out-of-universe. But beneath that, he's a little selfish and vindictive. There's no denying this based on how he capitalizes on any chance to incur a favor as well as his preferences for revenge over forgiveness (see: wanting to watch Savanaclaw get their asses handed to them after his injury, making his underclassmen eat their cataclysmic cake after they insulted his work, Doodle Suiting his upperclassmen's cakes to be ultra spicy after they threw him under the bus as a freshman). He even admits to Epel that he's not a good person. He knows what he is.

But the way he does it has always sat oddly with me. It seems like overkill. Unnecessary. Why not let people think well of him? It reminds me of Vil's labwear vignette where he downplays his skills. He gives a too-quick protest that Vil suspects is part of an intentional image of humility. In that case, insisting that he has bad traits is just showing that he has another trait people tend to like (modesty). It's not like Epel responds to Trey's self-effacement by saying, "Oh, you really must be kinda shitty if you say so!" So I think this modesty contributes to his super average "everyguy" image as well as lightly dissuades people from thinking he's too good or reliable. No "You can count on me!" hero volunteering.

If he seems too nice, like Neige, folks might become suspicious and start playing closer attention to him, especially at a school like NRC. They may either want to see him finally snap and show what he's "really" like (to be fair, I also want to see him snap), or they may look for a way to take advantage of him. And he has enough on his plate as is!! Can't have more people who think he can shoulder it all. Trey needs to be unremarkable, so he needs to remind people that he has flaws besides his taste in hats, even if he rarely lets them show. (More on why they don't show in a bit.)

I think my reading diverges from some others' (at least those I've seen in the twt circles I inhabit) here: Even with all his vindictive tendencies, he's still deeply devoted to his loved ones. I don't think it's accurate to say that the cruel, manipulative Trey is the "real" Trey, or at least the whole real Trey. It's just a part of him. The care that he shows for Riddle, his siblings, and the named Heartslabyul characters is largely genuine.

He can act selfishly, don't get me wrong. It bugs me when people forget that. He's been dismissive toward Cater in favor of Riddle (moreso in EN than JP), and he subtly and not-so-subtly manipulates people for his benefit and the group's benefit multiple times. But it's not necessarily because he sees them as tools or playthings, which is a reading I've seen a surprising amount of times. (That being said, it is a fun one if you're exaggerating a character's villainous traits! I think he could treat someone like this under the right circumstances. You could write Trey with more of this quality, and it could be believable. But I don't think it cancels out his ability to care for people entirely.) It's just something he thinks is at least somewhat acceptable to do to others, even his loved ones. Maybe he rationalizes it. Maybe he can't help but find a little pleasure in playing with him, no matter how much we cares. If we can accept that Jade shows Floyd and Azul love through his desire to put them through an emotional saw trap, it's not too far-fetched to suggest that Trey's definition of love allows for manipulation or desire to see someone cry. He can rationalize lying to them for the sake of stability or not letting them know about his own desires. I also think that the internal conflict between "I care for these people deeply" and "I will still manipulate them" is more likely to drive him to admit that he's not a good person than not caring for them at all. Seems like a bad strategic move to admit that if you're really just using them as playthings.

Trey doesn't always know the best way to support his loved ones (understandable! How many of us struggle with this far into adulthood?) and thus conflates the stability they need with an unrocked boat. He doesn't recognize that a situation like Riddle's is inherently unstable and always will be if nothing changes. He, at least at first, seems to believe that the shitty situation you know is better than risking it all and potentially losing everything. He knows that he's failing Riddle, but what can he do? From Trey's perspective, he is a large part of the reason--if not the reason--that Riddle was locked away from the world once. What if he fucks it up again? What if he loses Riddle forever this time? (I think this history and fear is also one that keeps him from trying to close the distance between himself and Cater.)

Convincing himself that he's a bad person (which seems like a needlessly heavy judgment for the fairly mild pettiness we've seen from him in the text) might also soften the blow if things do go wrong. This way, he can convince himself that he didn't care as much as people assume he did. Love doesn't go into the things he does, or so he says. (It's even more questionable since he directly contradicts this statement in his alchemy dialogue. What is the truth, Trey Nicole Clover?)

So, to bring it all back around to the Trey cake, I think his bottom layer is anxious. And tired. Not in a way that is consistently, consciously anxious. Don't write him up a Prozac prescription yet. He's internalized these ideas that he shouldn't be noticeable, because when he does noticeable things, they go very wrong. His purpose is to keep people's lives running smoothly. So he sends those caregiving tendencies into overdrive. He's got it covered, he doesn't need more to cover, and hat's all anybody really needs to know about him. Even that is a bit too much sometimes.

Based on how Trey talks about his family, I don't think he was neglected or super duper parentified, but he doesn't talk much at all about things that they've done for him in comparison to how often he talks about what he's done for them (cooking when his parents' work took precedence, sewing his siblings' Halloween costumes, getting Magift tickets for his brother). He never shows any bitterness about it, and I think their relationship is genuinely pretty okay. No resentment there. But it is noticeavle, and he also won't even be straightforward about what he wants for himself on events where he is expected to want. He says he's joking after requesting that other people take on his chores for the day on his birthday; he uses indirect rather than direct methods to persuade Riddle to get a food processor for Heartslabyul during Starsending. Dude, you probably could have just asked.

I think Trey has this idea that he doesn't need to (or at least shouldn't) ask for anything. If I reach reeeeeeeealllll hard, I could say that one of our biggest examples of Trey wanting and pursuing something as a child--Riddle's friendship--clearly traumatized Riddle, and it had a massive impact on Trey, too. So Trey learns not to want, or at least not to be SEEN wanting.

Is this why he wants to seem so average, unremarkable, modest in others' eyes? Because wanting something is dangerous, even if it's just recognition? Just how much did the loss of one his best friends as a child fuck him up? He might not even recognize the mental association he makes; lots of people don't until they've done a lot of really intentional work about that. He just says it's easier this way, to be a cog in everybody else's lives. And it is, to some extent, but it's also deeply frustrating and exhausting. (I'd like to see more interactions between him and Jamil, who also hides his true potential, and very clearly suffers for it.)

So I think some of Trey's middle layer pettiness--not all of it, since his birthday vignettes show that he's been a bit of a troll ever since he was a kid--comes from the tension between his visible "caretaker" layer and his ultra-hidden "appreciation would be nice" layer. He reminds me a little bit of a mom who occasionally wants to snap because she feels like she does everything, and everybody just takes it for granted. He's not all "let daddy take care of you kitten," but he's not all cruel and calculating, either. And he might be less vindictive (but no less of a prankster) if he felt appreciated, but he's never going to tell anybody that he wants that. (There's a nonzero chance that he finds openly craving emotional validation somewhat too feminine for him because he's one of the only characters to comment on something being embarrassing "as a man," the other being Epel obvs, and I, like many others, have zeroed in on what this could mean about his feelings on masculinity overall in comparison to other chars. Some people think he's a straight up closet malicious misogynist, but I doubt it. That's a whole other conversation, though, which would probably run entirely on vibes.)

Does he even recognize that he's got a third layer to his Cake of the Self any time other than when Kalim semi-inadvertently calls him out? Or does he consciously push down the desire to be apprecaited? Is it painful? How painful? Does he want a break, or just acknowledgement? Does he feel like the desire to be a caretaker can't coexist with the desire to be gifted a break, to be the one taken care of for once?

This has been really really all over the place, and I apologize for that, but it just really gets my goat when people don't consider that third layer. "Trey is just a shitty guy who doesn't experience attachment or empathy (and goes out of his way to say the things he does aren't about love and then contradicts himself later) or guilt and simply feigns kindness" feels too easy. Like another thing he'd be happy to let others believe so that he can continue to hide something else. And I, in my delulu heart of hearts, think that "something else" is desire and the fear of it.

I'm currently divided on if I think the boys' dream bubbles represent their wants or just what Malleus thinks they would want, but either way, I'm hoping Trey's dream will give us a little more insight into his head. And if I was wrong about all of this, then I'll go sleep under the bed for a while and cry about how much of the fic-that-only-exists-in-my-head must be rewritten, but at least we'll have some answers. Oh Heartslabyul, I miss you so.

[skeletalheartattack]

i love your art style so much, it's rad as hell. how long have you been drawing? :o

you mean the goofy little sketches i do from time to time? if so, that's really kind of you to say!!! that said, i wouldn't necessarily say they're the peak of my drawing abilities though, since i just draw with a mouse.

i use to draw a lot when i was growing up, though after getting Gmod for the first time, and subsequently SFM, i moved over into those programs to make my art, and kinda stopped drawing from that point.

i don't normally draw a whole lot these days, but when it comes to how i draw the stuff above, really i just find the messiness of using a mouse to draw really goofy, that and it's kinda nice to draw stuff without it needing to be perfect. it's just silly lines.

but regardless, thank you for the kind words, im glad you like my silly stuff