#and i think more adults who leave bad situations in media makes it feel hopeful like YES you can leave hurtful people and still find a

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Avatar fandom on TikTok is scaring me so I am going to teach you all media literacy if it kills me. 

I steadfastly believe that the Neytiri/Quaritch/Spider trio is the most interesting and layered character development JC has going for him rn. Ya’ll not having the basic human empathy to understand Spider or Neytiri’s povs is freaking me out. 

First, Neytiri. Neytiri is someone who has lost half her family, half her clan, and the only home she’s ever known to an oppressive colonizing force. Quaritch is the physical representation of all that pain and loss. He had not only killed countless Na’vi, killed Grace, tried to destroy their connection to all of their ancestors, and is the person who destroyed her home and killed her father, he is also the person who almost killed Jake. He also in a way, represents Jake’s betrayal. We forget, but Jake did betray Neytiri. He stayed with the Omaticaya knowing what Quaritch and Parker Selfridge had planned for them, feeding them information about their home and their strengths, and she forgave him, but Na’vi mate for life and he didn’t disclose that vital information beforehand. Jake was working and spying directly for Quaritch. He represents that hurt. For her, Spider is like a ticking time bomb. He is around her kids and she can’t ever feel safe with this child, this human child of her worst enemy who has caused all of the worst things in her life, in her life and with her family. She tolerates him for her kids but that’s it. I think her mindset totally makes sense, and I really hope she’s able to see past his parentage and accept him! 

Spider is a child. He is not responsible for the actions of his parents, obviously. He has spent his entire life being raised by people that really don’t want anything to do with him. He has been basically a burden his entire life. The scientists were forced to keep him because he was too young to send to Earth, and the Sully’s were not equipped (and did not really try) to take on a human child. They are basically his family, but they don’t treat him as such. Everything that happens with Quaritch is Stockholm syndrome times 10000. And the opposite for Quaritch, which is Lima syndrome. This kid has never had an adult show him care or affection, and now he’s getting it from a weird reanimated clone of his father in a kidapping/hostage situation. Quaritch’s first move is to take Spider from torture. He says you can come with me or you can be tortured. He conditions him from the get go, that’s bad stuff here is good stuff. Even more importantly, in Spider’s eyes he saves his life from Neytiri. I would LOVE to know later if she intended to kill him (pls check out my post on my opinion on the significance of the cut on his chest) but regardless, Spider thinks she did and that Quaritch saved him. Regardless of his motives and how bad of a person he is (irredeemably sorry Quaritch girlies), Spider can’t leave him to die. It’s such a hard decision for him, but he’s a kid and a good person. One who values life like all Na’vi are taught to. And he still leaves him to go back to the Sully’s, who have not bothered to even try to be concerned about him outside of the kids. 

I’m not even gonna get too far into Quaritch, because I know there’s a lot of Quaritch stans out there now which does boggle my mind. But, as awful of a person as he is, he is a super super interesting character in this movie. In the first movie, he is a blatant representation of racism and colonialism in the worst sense, in a way that makes him a great villain but not a very layered character. He is a foil for Jake, showing us the worst of Jake in an outside antagonist. It’s easy to forget by AWOW that Jake used to have a similar mindset to Quaritch. Placing Quaritch in the body of those he fears and hates the most I think is a very fun twist. But what I really loved was his fear of Neytiri and how much that is highlighted in the film. The way he looks at her arrows is just spine chilling, and I can’t wait to see her kill him again because I can’t see it culminating any other way. 

The other thing relating to this is Spider’s fear of Neytiri. Her mistrust and fear of him had been a block in his life basically since birth. Her kids love and accept him as a brother easily, and Jake keeps him at arms length for Neytiri (which is a whole Jake issue but we can get into Jake another time). Neytiri stands between Spider and the family he’s always wanted, and him seeing her fight and just backing up in fear before she grabs him is so good, just a great culmination of all events. What I’d love to see from it is Neytiri and Spider having to come to terms with their fear of the other in order to move on and create a family unit. A son for a son, right, Quaritch gets Neteyam killed so Neytiri, Quaritch’s biggest fear, gets what he wants right now, which is Spider. 

[yanderemommabean]

So small slightly deeper explanation of the anti/pro shipping drama for the bean who asked about it.

The reason people put proshippers dni is because the pro shipping community is heavily infected with people who think it’s ok to ship children with adults or to ship siblings in a non-platonic manner and that they shouldn’t be called out for it.

I’m all for shipping whatever you please do long as it’s not incestuous or pedophilic. Those are where I draw the line because allowing it in spaces makes it easier for predators to claim they’re just in their actions.

Anti-shippers usually try to call out predators in spaces but aren’t without their own bad apples with the aforementioned people who take it too far with harassment.

It’s a very nuanced situation because I don’t think people should be harassed over shipping but problematic ones l mentioned should be addressed in a serious manner and called out so they less of a chance to groom others.

(No hate this is just a topic I know a lot about and figured I’d give a better explanation on the topic, I don’t consider myself to be on either side but a neutral party. Love your content and hope you have a lovely day Momma bean!)

I don’t think people should be harassed for noncon stuff either to be honest, it’s dark fiction and as long as the author tags it right they should be left alone because people with actual noncon kinks are respectful of the safe word and want you to feel safe and secure. I think dark topics like yandere and obsession should be explored with characters and writing for those who can handle it or at the very least have a small interest in the genre.

I understand why people think fiction of this is bad. I’m a victim of this horrible crime and I understand never wanting to touch the topic. But this helps me feel in control and to express darker things that I’d never want in a million years in a healthy way. It’s ok to not like noncon 100% fine! But to shame people who do it safely and have warnings and let you know how dark it’s gonna get? Idk man. Idk. Doesn’t sit right.

I’m not shaming people who like vanilla stuff either not one bit. I want them happy and healthy and feeling safe in their little zone! It’s just the people who proclaim to be sunshine and rainbows often turn to be the hurricane in disguise. Just because you like wholesome media, it doesn’t make you a wholesome person.

I write horror and worse and y’all know me. I like to think I’m pretty nice and welcoming. ((If not let me know??? This is supposed to be a shame free blog after all???))

I get not wanting to read or write for non consensual scenarios and much worse but it’s just another dark medium certain people including me use to escape reality or to even heal from trauma. There’s a reason I write mine so gentle and protective yet scary and demanding. It makes me feel like I’m not damaged goods and that I’m wanted even if it’s more or less not reciprocated lol

Idk I’m rambling at this point I just think people should leave people alone as long as real life, flesh human beings aren’t being hurt.

-Mommabean

[plinko-mori]

how can you make the difference between someone you have a deep trauma on with a person that treat you bad but you know is right in some things?

OH YOU ARE ASKING THIS BECAUSE OF WHAT I HAVE SAID ABOUT YOSANO

I'll explain it with three situations: an ex boyfriend of mine, an ex teacher and my mother 🤗

Tw: Age gap, abuse, pedophilia, pedophile(s(?), abusive mother

Ex boyfriend

Ignoring the fact I was 13 and he was 18. I didn't have the best experience with him tbh

I mean, well, he was rude, verbally aggressive, internet user that I don't know how the fuck I got the interest in, always said that my feelings weren't important and the fact I asked him daily "oh hello, I hope I'm not bothering you but how are you doing?" for him was extremely clingy

He broke up with me recording a video, publishing in YouTube in his channel, talking shit about me not saying his mistakes (I think we were both bad), begging me to go away from his life, but keeping everything in anonymous with a gameplay of Sonic in the background. Our social-circle supported him, and the few people that actually knew I was dating him supported me even if they were like "you are so stupid for still loving him"

I have mixed feelings about this situation: I can talk a little about him, I won't add much information though and I panick with every mention, memory, or even when someone mentions a close friend of him! I blocked him from all social medias because I can't deal with the idea of getting close to him again even if he lives a country away from me

Just the idea of thinking in him makes me cry like I'm doing while writing this. You could consider it a trauma, right?

Ex teacher

I was 10, this person was 54 or 56 I can't fucking remember

Remember when I said you all that maybe someone rapped me because I have blurry memories of it and I'm not even sure what happened? He's the guy

I can talk about the situation, I am a little scared of talking to him directly or even tell an adult about it (I'm still a minor). I just want to avoid the topic mostly, don't think about it, leave it in the past and do nothing about it

My mom

The woman who screamed a lot «I wish you weren't even born» to me is finally mentioned here... So yeah what can I say?

I know she's a bastard, she will never love me truly, I will not love her either and I'm completely sure she will never apologizes for hurting me physically and emotionally, yet I can't deny she was right in some things

She raised me and did a disaster? Yes, but I can't deny she fucking taught me to be responsible

I have to speak with her, interact with her, and maybe if she isn't the same as when I was a kid... The pain is still there

But what about Yosano's situation?

I prefer to say it is similar to my situation with my mom

It's obvious she was hurt by Mori, he wasn't the best with her, yet she wasn't the worst

She can talk about him, she can speak both bad and good about him. She doesn't have a huge trauma with him, but REALLY bad memories that at least don't make her panic Just by the thought of him

And I won't add more, sorry, it's about the ex boyfriend situation

[selfshipgushing]

I got good news last night!!!

I have known my three husbands for three years now, just almost, and I’ve selfshipped with them officially for two years because the fandom is so. Cliquey? Really two-faced? I’d love making mutuals but i had to pretend I saw the three as a mum, a dad, and a child because everyone who didn’t was a ‘creep’ [there are def some creeps in the fandom but i don’t touch proship stuff I’m against it].And when I eventually did I was lied to, people were ‘nice’ but then like and make posts about why people like me with these headcanons are all weird n dumb. Hope that’s not too sad I promise you this gets better!!

I grappled with my feelings, first choosing two of them, then settling for one for a while.

Then I decided fuck it I’m going to love them all and I’m going to give em all I’ve got while i still have time. 

I grew up in a BAD foster care system. And their media shared similarities to my home life… I realised that if they could never leave their prison I could. It’s what they would want. I feel loved by them. They’ve helped me settle into society bit by bit, I’m still getting there, but I’ve got them. And my amazing real friends who have been kind to me.

There was recently a presentation I couldn’t attend [money reasons, travel reasons :’<]  and the creators of the show ………… well…. Made them canonically poly or at least expressed a preference/liking towards the ship. 

Bit of backstory, a dragshow based on my f/o’s media was created a couple months ago that made my husbands poly and the creators attended and were chill with it. I was over the moon. The drag performers attended the presentation and kissed n stripped n what have you after the creators expressed their love for fanart. 

Blasting a ship piece of my boys together on a huge projector for more minutes than should be allowed. My jaw hit the floor. 

So in short they kiss eachother, AND me, They’re all adults like I assumed, the fandom who was once so adamant on what was canon is now all death of the author the people who I remember having contempt for the ship are like ‘ah. That’s awesome what funny people huh guess we were all wrong’ through their teeth as if they weren’t talking shit earlier this year- this is cathartic. And I owe the creators my soul they make all my hcs canon I jokingly [and never posted this] hc'd one of the as Italian and they MADE IT CANON THROUGH HIS SIGNATURE. On my hands and knees I can now go about guilt-free without the fear I'll lose my boys <333 thinking about marrying them.

-☕ 🐸 again :3 [I think that was the way the emojis were last time- not talking abt the same f/o btw these are my MAIN mains lol]

because you brought up foster care, I wonder sometimes how many ppl fell in love with their f/os because they felt they could relate to their trauma. I honestly think that if I wasn't in the bad situation I was in when I met my husband I wouldn't have loved him nearly as much

[ultfreakme]

So, fanfic ideas.... If JJK characters were in Non- Curse world, what would their job be if not become Jujutsu Sorcerer (in your opinion)? Why? Please pick your top 5 fav characters...

Also if Akashi (from Kuroko) or Zuko (Avatar) were in JJK world can they survive as a sorcerer? Can you guess their CT that fitted them? What do you think....?

Sorry it's just for fun, hope you don't mind.....

YAYYYY THE HAPPY AU!!! Non-jujutsu sorcerer jobs!!

Our beloved MC Yuuji: This has canon information, he'd be a firefighter. I can't think of anything else for him too tbh, it's the perfect job for him, he'd have been awesome at it. I love firefighter Yuuji it's adorable like AHHHHH good job kid!

Gojo: Not a teacher that's for sure. Probably some kind of researcher in astrophysics who also does martial arts competitions on the side. And a chess or shogi player too. He's the guy who randomly shows up in places he really shouldn't be.

Nobara: A fashion major in Tokyo. I feel like she'd go for a job that pays high even if it isn't particularly her interest and be ruthless in climbing higher. I'm just picturing her in a Devil Wears Prada movie situation where she's the assistant to Miranda Priestly who somehow can actually go above and beyond what Miranda wants from the start and leaves her to the dust to get a better opportunity with someone else.

Geto: Cult leader Teacher! He actually has the ability to be a good influence on the younger generation, I think he'd find joy in helping kids out and providing them with a safe environment. Probably volunteers a lot on his free time, still has that hero complex which he had at the beginning of Hidden Inventory but this time it doesn't go bad.

Junpei: He probably went to school for film and media, but I think he'd go on to work in counseling or switch to that. Supporting students, working in places that help with bullying. Determined to become a proper adult who isn't stuck playing the hierarchy games of high school(weirdly enough I see him becoming somewhat like Nanami in attitude). Oh my god Akashi and Zuko in JJK!!!! i was thinking about this a lot!

Akashi would THRIVE in JJK in terms of power but emotionally he'd be a wreck. His Emperor Eye is somewhat like Gojo's Six Eyes combined with precognition. I honestly think he'd be like Gojo; Emperor Eye would be an inherited trait like Six Eyes with the ability to see everything that's occurring in his surroundings and through that he has precognition to see what moves anyone would make within a specific radius(it probably extends to all of Japan and more or something that ridiculous) The smaller the radius, the more accurate and farther into the future his precognition is.

His CT....hm, probably has something to do with disabling or scrambling someone's cursed energy so that they become unable to use it. I'm trying to replicate the effects of an ankle break on a large scale lol in terms of CE. Hmmmm......I've entered Gege nonsense territory and come up with a way for this to work.

I'm gonna call it 'Kaleidoscope'. So what a kaleidoscope does is it has two or more angled mirrors inside a tube of some sort, and an object placed within it is reflected multiple times based on how the mirrors are angled. If you twist a kaleidoscope, the reflections change and create wild patterns. Now imagine that instead of an object, it's CE, and instead of a reflection, it's ACTUALLY getting split up and scrambled in symmetrical fashion.

Kaleidoscope makes it so that a person's cursed energy is split up into parts and twisting according to Akashi's will, so the person fighting him becomes unable to redirect the course of their CE to something stable.

(does this make sense? In my head it makes sense lol. Gege I finally understand your thought process lol).

He'd have a Domain Expansion 100% and I wanna say it'd be a basketball court lol, but I think it'd be something like Sukuna's in terms of visuals; an actual emperor's court.

Onto Zuko!!! I love Zuko so much as a character and I think he's great and with that being said, he wouldn't last a week in JJK. He's dead within 7 days or less. You need to have a certain kind of personality to survive in the JJK world and Zuko's got whatever personality type it is that would not only make him bad at advancing his CT, but would actively kill him.

(he's too caught up in his own feelings of right and wrong, of what is honor and what is shameful. He's someone who wants the people around him to be safe and risks his neck to do this multiple times, also he's a bit of an idiot.)

His CT!!! I think he'd be a shikigami user and his shikigami is Druk(and maybe a few more dragons like Ran and Shao). Probably comes from a large clan and he's considered the clan disappointment because he has no ability to create fire on his own. But his medium would still be fire, I imagine he carries around a light or a wick(but later gains the ability to manipulate and produce fire). Uses dual blades, which are cursed tools, to fight(also another thing his family dislikes him for). The dragon shikigami is likely an inherited trait that the clan actually doesn't like because it relies on external fire sources. I think lightning would also be an inherited trait which Azula got and that's the one they've all been wanting to see. Both re-emerged after hundreds of years.

[angelican-sadness]

Updates 6/6/23

Hey tumblr. It’s been a while. So much has happened in my life. I left a relationship I didn’t want to be a part of for months. Neither one of us were happy for a while. It was for the best. I met someone new who treats me like the queen I am. I severed the relationship between my mom and I. I started therapy. I signed a lease with a friend to move out of a house that I share with my ex and our friends. I’m unhappy living there and leaving would help keep my friendships the way they are and make me and everyone else more comfortable in their living situation. I just want a clean house and the bills paid on time. I don’t ask for much and my friend saying I’m a dictator kind of hurt so it’s just best if i go so nothing hurtful gets said again. Living together can be hard. Paying bills on time and cleaning up after yourself is just part of being an adult and shouldn’t be so hard. I can’t wait to move in with my new roommate because we are on the same page about that. I value my friendships with my current roommates so much that I don’t want living together to tear us apart. I love them all dearly.

Life is so good, but also so bad and I just need to write it down to get it off my chest. I am a lot happier than I used to be, but still the same sad girl deep inside. I wish my mom and I could have a healthy relationship because I miss my brother. She won’t let him contact me or my sister and is claiming it’s because of DHS, but she’s just trying to brainwash him into thinking she’s the best person ever and his enemies are us. She’s absolutely insane. All I’m doing is trying to live a peaceful life and all she does is bring me down. I accepted who I am and I love who I am. I spent most of my life wishing I could be someone else, not realizing it’s because of the constant comparisons to other people. She’d say “I’m proud of you” on social media, but behind the scenes, she would always say “I wish you were more like ___” I can’t handle the fake imagery to show other people we don’t even know how “good” it is when it’s never good. I wish her well and I hope she gets the help that she needs, but now it’s time for me to grieve this loss and accept that the relationship between us will never again be the same. We bonded over substance abuse. Now that I’ve gotten away from that, I’ve woken up and can think clearly for myself. I can finally see things for what they are, not for the fake altered reality of that “picture perfect” family that facebook sees. 

I’m tired of people being so hard on me. I realize that I’m very hard on myself and it’s probably because others are very hard on me sometimes. Lately, I’ve altered plans or had a drink here and there and as much as I love my sister, I feel like she’s very hard on me about those things. My mom always said “I take care of everything, so a drink here and there is okay.” She drinks way more than me and hardly works so her statement isn’t true to herself, but it’s true for me. I hate using that statement because it reminds me of her, but I do take care of everything I need to, work very hard, and never lose focus. I spend at least 85% of my weeks sober these days. I had a couple drinks at a show recently and went to pee a few times. My sister said “damn again? Maybe you should stop drinking.” I’m very responsible and just don’t want to be judged anymore. I’ve come a long way from all of the substance abuse I did to numb my brain in the past that I feel like a drink or two here and there is harmless. I do what I can to not lose control. I just enjoy letting loose sometimes and I just want to enjoy my life. I changed the camping plans and she’s upset with me for coming a couple hours later to accommodate my boyfriend coming with me. I get that this is a new relationship, but I’ve never had someone treat me this way. He so gentle and kind towards me. Everything about this feels so right. I just want him to be there camping with us, so I’m coming just a little later. Nothing too crazy and she’s sad because he can’t drive separately since his car is messed up right now. Idk if the roles were flipped, I’d be like “okay cool. I’m excited to go regardless.” I just don’t get why everyone is so hard on me all the time..

With this new relationship, this is the most comfortable I’ve ever felt before. I’ve never once been nervous on a first date, but with this one, I was so nervous. I was shaking and drank too much that night from the nerves. I ended up spending the night after and he respected me not wanting to have sex. I went so long feeling obligated or doing what I could to just avoid sex entirely that I was scared to say no, but he made it very easy. There has been absolutely no pressure at all to be different or be forced into something I don’t want to do and it’s a wonderful change of pace. I’ve noticed a few things that are different about myself since meeting Josh too. I’m more comfortable with discussing feelings, admitting that I cry, and just having feelings in general. I’ve repressed my feelings for most of my life so learning how to feel things and show it is very hard for me, but I’m so comfortable that it’s helping me learn how. I had a panic attack at his house and he was so nice to me the whole time. I struggle with being taken care of or relying on someone else, but he makes it so easy. I trust him and I like that he enjoys being there for me. I can truly see myself falling hopelessly in love with this guy and I couldn’t be happier. He came into my life at a time where all I wanted was to spend time alone especially because I just got out of a relationship. I wasn’t looking for anything, but I got blindsided by the purest form of love I’ve ever felt and I couldn’t be more thankful.

[girltomboy]

MY bf apparently cannot take any paid leave yet because he's been at his workplace for less than 6 months, which means our vacation is under a big question mark this year...... well, HIS vacation, because I'm not really about to have been working a year without a vacation, sorry.......sooo sorry not sorry though 🤪 though I am afraid to vacation alone. I don't think my country is very solo-trip friendly, especially when you're a woman. But I can't afford to go elsewhere, and it would be last minute planning anyway. It drives me NUTS that this is just. Normal. Like, having to work 6+ months at a workplace before the employer decides you deserve to have some time off. He works 14 hours shifts for 2 days every 2 days too, so he doesn't even have legal holidays or weekends off AND isn't EVEN allowed to SIT DOWN!! That's just fucking insane sorry I can't fault the employees for putting up with this cause everyone's gotta eat but just the principle like just the mere simple fact that this happens and no one bats an eye. Is making me rabid. Vacation plans ruined aside. And my best friend is in the same situation of not being able to go on holiday except she's been working at her desk job for like 2 years. It's even more infuriating that her employer decided she should take all of her days off in December last year. Like imagine your employer deciding when you take your vacation?? I'd shit in my chair and leave.

Anyway topic change: lately I've been going crazy over Fia, like I can't stop thinking about her all the time, and especially wondering how she's doing, how life has been treating her. I feel it's kind of unhealthy and like borderline a creepy obsession that only I know about, but I don't want to let go of her, the memory of her is such a mental crutch to me. I realized Saturn transited her Moon maybe a couple weeks or so back, and I pulled a card for the very broad and general question "How is she?". And the card was The Tower 😭 and ik the Tower isn't always automatically bad or dangerous, but it has potential to be, and anyway it represents change and upheaval and I got a bit sad/scared for her. I just hope she has a good and full support system, regardless of whatever has been going on, good or bad. I always wonder this, trying to picture her surrounded by people who love her and care about her, trying to picture her receiving that love and care. I think it's hard to picture her giving it back because I've never seen her do that, but it's easy to picture the former because I loved her for so long. Sometimes I idealize her to such an extent that it feels surreal for such a human to exist on earth, she turns fragile and tender in my vision, like a single touch would hurt her, and the urge to protect her grows even more intense, and brings with it the frustration of being incapable of doing so. It's bizarre, this has happened with almost all of my obsessions over time. I think she's my longest lasting one. OH and I was also thinking about her like fear? Of being the subject of gossip, or being talked about in Facebook groups of students and such. I do have a memory of her asking something like that, and even though she was reassured she still seemed so anxious about it. Probably why she stays off social media. And yet it was her coworker who was overheard gossiping about her irl... by my friend, who said he called her crazy. 😑 Idk, just some thoughts that kind of add to my theory of her being a Gemini rising with Pisces moon in the 10th house. I've also been watching Breaking Bad with my bf (we finished it yesterday!! He loved it and so did I, rewatching it as an adult has been such a good decision and so wild. It really is one of the best TV shows ever made) and Bryan Cranston's mannerisms, facial expressions, gestures (ofc not limited to his Breaking Bad role, I was also noticing this in Malcolm in the Middle) are so similar to hers I almost thought my bf would recognize some of them, and his "exposure" to Fia was much shorter-lived than mine, and through a screen. And he's a Gemini rising!

[youcatchyman]

My Ex Has a New Girlfriend: 6 Best Tips

You’re sitting comfortably on the sofa and unsuspectingly looking at the news on Facebook, and suddenly you discover something that gives your heart a pang. There’s your ex in an intimate pose in one photo with another. The caption could very well be Attention! Ex has a new girlfriend!

The sight startles you, and you wonder if this is his new flame. Your relationship is over, of course, you know that, but it still feels pretty bad. How can your ex find new love so quickly!?

Accepting your ex’s new relationship can be incredibly difficult, especially if you still have feelings for your ex. Then you get stuck in the past, leading to obsessive thoughts.

Luckily, there are some steps you can take to ensure that this situation doesn’t wholly devastate you and that you can even come out of it stronger.

In this article, you will learn the best thing to do if your ex has a new girlfriend immediately.

Help, my ex has a new girlfriend, what should I do?

How many times have you promised your ex to put the past behind you and stop thinking about the ex?

Research has shown that over 75% of adults have spied on their ex-partners via social media. Worst of all, it only leads to more grief. Does that sound familiar to you?

Subconsciously, we often think about an old relationship. Sometimes there’s just nothing you can do about it. We see an old photo again or visit a place that brings back old memories. Forgetting and letting go of your ex is easier said than done, especially when the ex already has a new girlfriend.

You then subconsciously think ‘He’s mine after all,” even though you realize you’re not even a couple anymore. Somewhere where you secretly hope that sooner or later your ex will break up with his new love and be with you again.

You also know deep down that you cannot continue to live with this insecurity. If you are still stuck with your ex, you will be denying yourself the ability to find a new partner.

So what’s the best thing to do when your ex has a new girlfriend? The following tips will help you.

Tip #1: Ex has a new girlfriend immediately — A new relationship is not always better

Most of the time, when we see our ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend with new love, it’s hard for us because it makes us feel so bad. It’s as if the ex-boyfriend happily moves on with life, leaving us with an emotional world shattered.

One wonders why the ex is suddenly so happy. Is the new girl that much better than you? But such thoughts should be suppressed quickly. The girl who entered your ex’s life is no more attractive, beautiful, or intelligent than you.

So before you freak out about your ex finding love so quickly, realize one thing: this can only be temporary. It happens relatively often that after the end of a relationship, one of the two ex-partners (or even both) quickly enters into a new relationship.

In most cases, this is most likely just an impulsive reaction to the loss of intimacy you had with your ex. Do you feel the emptiness now that your relationship is over? Your ex will probably feel the same way and will try to fill that void with someone else as soon as possible.

It’s easy to be tempted to think that this new relationship could erase everything good that you experienced with your ex, especially if the breakup is very recent. But your ex’s new relationship doesn’t make you a loser. No one is just that replaceable, not even you! Your relationship with your ex was unique and something special, and no one will be able to change that.

After a while, if your ex realizes that he’s jumped into something new too quickly or that the new relationship isn’t going to work out anyway, he’ll end the relationship quickly. How you fit into the picture will depend on how you handle the situation.

Read also: My Ex Unfollowed Me on Instagram — Why and What to Do?

Tip #2: Be patient and respectful

When our ex-boyfriend starts a new relationship, we often feel depressed and hurt because we didn’t expect it to happen so quickly.

The crazy thing is, it doesn’t matter which one ended the relationship. It hurts even though you were the one who wanted to break up. It is important to remember that people handle broken relationships in different ways. One recovers from lovesickness faster than the other. The best thing to do now is to focus on yourself.

The secret is to think more positively and adopt a more active lifestyle. Do things that make you happy and live at your own pace.

The last thing — I repeat, the last — is to scold your new ex and annoy his new girl is rash and stupid behavior. This will make things much worse. Even if you don’t want your ex back, it’s always best to wait until things cool down a bit.

If your ex is dating someone else, there is a good chance you will feel a sense of panic. Then there is a high probability that you will make stupid mistakes that only increase the distance to your ex. You should be aware of that, so it’s better not to do anything stupid out of an impulsive moment.

If you try to convince your ex how bad his new girl is for him, you’ll only pull him further away from you and drive him straight into the new girl’s arms. You shouldn’t try to convince your ex to leave their new girlfriend again.

As mentioned earlier, things just take a little time to get back to normal, and during that time both you and your ex are more apt to make impulsive and ill-considered decisions.

Therefore, wait a few weeks and make sure that you don’t spend too much time spying on your ex and his new girlfriend during this period.

Then, if you discover that both of you still have feelings for each other and realize that he may have ended his relationship with her in a hurry, you can calmly reconnect gradually.

Tip #3: “My ex has a new girlfriend” — Think about what’s best for you

A common mistake people make is thinking about their ex and their new relationship far too often. They also make decisions in which these considerations play a major role. For example, they may not go to a friend’s party because they fear their ex and their new partner might be there as well.

They then forget that it is a celebration of a good friend whom they may have known for many years. By not going there to avoid the ex, they also irritate third parties and damage their image. That’s why any decision you make that involves your ex should always be about what’s good for you.

During this time, you should also make as much time for yourself as possible. Be a real bachelor and live it. Do things your ex never wanted to do, but you did. Go out and meet up with friends. Just thinking about your ex all the time is the opposite of what you should be doing.

There is absolutely no point in worrying about something you can’t control. Of course, we can’t just stop our feelings like that, but at some point, we have to realize that we’re wasting our energy and time on something that isn’t worth it.

You can ‘unfriend’ your ex on Facebook or Instagram and in the meantime work on yourself and only focus on things that you can control.

Block your ex on everything if you can’t stop thinking about them or their new flame. Otherwise, you will have no chance of ever getting your ex out of your head.

A welcome side effect, if you’re keen to win your ex back, is that your ex might rediscover aspects of you that will attract them if you enjoy your ‘free life’ to the fullest and have a good time.

And while you certainly don’t want him back, dating other people is always an effective way to get your ex out of your head. Then you don’t have to worry about whether you want your ex back or forget them for good.

Read also: My Ex Is Harassing Me Through Text — What Should I Do?

Tip #4: Ex immediately has a new girlfriend — work on yourself

You feel like you’ve lost your ex for good. You lost your best friend, so don’t expect to feel great suddenly. On the contrary, you will feel pretty bad, and that’s very understandable. Accept your sorrow and let the emotions run free.

Lovesickness is heavy and painful. Accept that. It will get better with time. And as hard as it may seem, try to put your grief away by doing positive and constructive things.

Even if you have a lot of patience and can talk to each other normally again, it’s not a good idea to think that you can influence your ex’s decisions. Therefore, you should not interfere or try to persuade him to end the new relationship.

Your ex will have to come to this realization on their own. On the contrary, if you try to impress, you will only embarrass yourself.

You won’t be able to override your ex’s feelings with rational arguments. That’s just not how being in love works. You will only be perceived as desperate and lose everything that you may have already regained.

Use the time to make yourself a better you. Just recovering from lovesickness will not be enough to get your ex back. You must also become a better person yourself.

Some things to work on if you want to win your ex back:

Confidence: The most attractive quality one can possess. Luckily, confidence is something you can learn.

The easiest way is, to be honest with yourself and with others. Do not hide your feelings, feel free to show your shame and fear! Set yourself new goals and do what you love to do.

Physical Attractiveness: Exercising is a great way to feel better and build more confidence.

Your ex has already been attracted to your looks before, so don’t worry about that. Maybe you haven’t exercised enough in the last few years. Have you possibly put on a bit of bacon? Then work on it. Go to the gym and get going! You can also free your head wonderfully.

Tip #5: Start a new romance yourself

This tip can be used by those who would like to get their ex back, but also by those who would start over from scratch. As already mentioned, a relationship soon after the end of the last one is usually only a substitute for the sudden lack of emotional or physical (sexual) affection. Such a relationship is also referred to as a ‘rebound relationship’.

In most cases, it will become clear fairly quickly whether the ex is ‘just’ in a rebound relationship or not. However, don’t make the mistake of constantly looking for signs that it’s a rebound relationship. If you aren’t sure if your ex is in a rebound relationship, think of it as a normal relationship.

Unfortunately, if your ex decides to sleep with someone else, you can’t avoid it. Of course, I know it’s not a good idea to know your ex is in bed with someone else.

However, if he has decided to have sex with someone else, you should realize that he is not doing anything wrong. Your relationship is over after all, so your ex isn’t cheating on you with anyone.

If your ex enters into such a relationship, you could do the same to compensate for your loss of intimacy as well. However, you should be careful with this and realize that it is probably only a temporary condition.

And if you didn’t break up amicably, the whole thing can also be counterproductive, because your new temporary relationship will also drive another wedge between you. So you should be aware of that. The reason why I still mention this tip here is that such a relationship can also help you get your ex back faster.

If you show that you left your relationship behind as well, your ex may be quicker to realize what he wants out of your old relationship, and he might be quicker to get back in touch with you.

But I repeat once again that you should be careful with this because, on the contrary, it can also lead to the fact that your ex turning away from you completely. So you have to be able to assess your ex very well and then act accordingly.

Tip #6: Ex has a new girlfriend, now what — Be realistic and don’t seek revenge

From reading what has just been written, you might conclude that this new relationship is dead wrong, that your ex is dead wrong, and that it would be best for things to go back to how they were. But that’s not the case, which is why this tip here is so important.

Many people develop a veritable vendetta against their ex’s new partner, all while waiting for the relationship to end. Not only for the reason to have another chance with the ex but often for the reason that this “fake” relationship ends. Now let’s be honest…come on, your ex is only human. You better be happy for him that he has found joy in life again with a new girlfriend.

A negative attitude will do absolutely nothing, it will only make you feel bad, and your ex may ignore you. So you better be happy for him, and you will find that you feel better about yourself too. Unless this new relationship is the only one making you jealous. In such a case, you should completely ignore the whole thing. But honestly, such planned relationships are very rare, I mean rare.

So these will be the top tips that will get you back on your feet. It is also important not to exaggerate the whole situation unnecessarily. After all, it’s just about some romance, that’s not bad, right?

You will find that things get better between you after a while, provided that you follow these tips and give up with a deep hatred (hate). Anyway, keep these valuable tips in mind and be reasonable, and in most cases, you will be fine.

Read also:

Ex-girlfriend Wants to Meet Up: 14 Best Things to Do

Why Is My Ex So Mean to Me?

Why Does My Ex Watch My Stories? 6 Reasons

[jupitermelichios]

i put some stuff in the comments but i ran out of space so i'm reblogging

firstly, lying about the tuition isn't great, but i can't say i wouldn't have done the same in your situation, especially at your age. being 20 is fucking hard.

secondly, your dad sounds like a piece of work, and you would be absolutely 100% justified in lying to him about not deleting your discord. a) you're a full grown adult who can make their own decisions, b) the idea that having social media accounts makes people fail exams is some technophobic nonsense, and c) it kind of sounds like he's trying to isolate you which is really not okay. lie to his face about it without guilt, just be careful. definitely delete the app now rather than waiting for him to check, password lock your devices if you haven't already, get in the habit of closing tabs when you're not using them so you don't accidentally leave discord open, and stick to incognito tabs or clear the browsing history if you're using a shared family computer at all

second-and-a-half-ly, medical care is confidential, if your dad does decided to seek mental health treatment no one but he and his therapist ever need to know unless he wants them to, don't worry about it hurting his reputation.

thirdly, i hope you'll accept some tips from someone who also really struggled with physical and mental health all through university, and ended up having to repeat a two years (but got there in the end)

a lot of people irl are probably going to tell you some real bullshit about yourself and your situation (maybe not, for your sake i hope not, but it's unfortunately more likely than not based on my experience). so you need to look yourself in the eye now and accept that no matter what anyone else might say, you did the best you could. yes even though you didn't sit the exams. yes even though you didn't get the grade you needed. you did your best, and the fact that you didn't end up where you wanted to be is no kind of moral reflection on you. you did your best in a crap situation, and you should be proud of yourself

but, and it's kind of a big but, accepting that you tried you best also means accepting that 'next year i'll work harder, be healthier, be better at the things i struggle with' isn't a plan, it's wishful thinking. accepting it means sitting down and making a plan for how you cope if things don't get better, because sometimes you try your best and things still end up being crap.

that doesn't mean they won't get better of course, and it doesn't mean you haven't grown or learned important stuff over the last semester that will help you cope if things get bad again in the future, and it doesn't mean you're giving up, even though i know it can feel like it at times. think of it like putting on a lifejacket before getting onto a boat. you might not need it, but promising yourself you won't crash the ship won't do anything to stop a storm blowing in, and trying to get back to land to collect one after your boat is in trouble is going to be really fucking hard. putting on a life jacket isn't you giving up on being a good sailor, it's just taking reasonable precautions. so you make a plan now, and then you've got it ready for when you need it.

there's four main things you need in your plan:

1. getting medical support if at all possible, and getting it now while you're relatively okay, so that it can help you stay okay, rather than waiting until a big crash comes. see if your university offers any kind of student mental health services (they often do in my country but every country is different), and if it doesn't, try to find services yourself. without knowing your country i can't advise on what that would be, since every country is different

in addition/instead you can look into what doctors recommend people do for themselves to manage your particular flavour of mental health problems, and try to incorportate that into your daily life. don't try and fix all your problems yourself, or set huge goals (it'll just end up being a source of stress when you inevitable struggle if you aim too high), find something you genuinely think you can do most of the time, whether that's a guided meditation app, mindfulness excercises, going for walks (i know it sounds like bullshit but unfortunatly all the resrarch agrees it helps with most mental health stuff), yoga, drinking more water, whatever the research recommends and you think you could do on an average day. the point isn't to cure yourself, it's just to reduce the chances of a big crash and generally give yourself a bit more mental energy to deal with problems if or when they do happen.

2. talk to your personal tutor if you have one (i don't know what other countries call this - universities here assign students a lecturer to act as your first point of contact for any concerns or academic issues you might have, we call it a tutor), and when you know what classes you're going to be taking this next semester, talk to the lecturers, as soon as you can. let them know now that you have some chronic health problems. that's scary the first time, but it gets easier every time, I promise. if you prefer not to do it face to face (and having a paper trail can be useful anyway) you can write up one formal email and then just tailor a few details and send it to each tutor. you don't have to tell them anything about what your health problems are, although it's best not to actually lie because you might need to produce medical evidence at some point down the line. just tell them you're looking forward to their class, and you wanted to let them know in advance that you have chronic health issues which can occaisionally impact your studies. you don't anticipate it being a problem, but you wanted to check, if it does impact you ability to attend class, whether lecture notes/slides are shared anywhere online, and if not, whether they would be willing to email them to you, and whether there will be classes (such as practicals/labs/presentations etc) which can only be done in person this semester, so that you can plan accordingly.

this works regardless of whether you actually think you'll need the slides or whether there will be in person classes, because the actual point isn't the slides, it's a) to make sure that if things get bad again and you have to ask for accomodations there's already a record of you having issues, which usually makes people more likely to accept you're being genuine, and b) make sure they know that you're pro-active and eager to learn, so they'll want to help to you if you need it.

(and since lecturers are only human, and sometimes humans are unfortunately dicks, it also lets you know which lecturers are the most likely to be kind and understanding)

3. find out now what the policy is on extensions to deadlines for coursework or homework. it might be university wide, or it might be department by department, or it might be lecturer by lecturer (in which case you can incorporate it into your email above). if you have a personal tutor, start there, or ask the university office who should be able to point you in the right direction, or if you have a student union, they probably have someone who can help. find out if you need medical evidence, and how much in advance you need to request the extension, so that if you do end up struggling, you know in advance what to do.

4. take a serious look at the last semester, and the one you dropped out of before, and try and figure out what the big stressors are. i know it probably feels like the answer is 'all of it', but there will be some stuff that stresses you out more than others. if you're living away from home, is it stuff about that, like cooking for yourself, or washing up, or laundry? do you have a friend who stresses you out every time you talk? is there a specific class or type of class you really struggle with? is it having too many exams all at once? did you have to do a lot of academic reading you found difficult? did all your classes combined involve more outside study than you had time for? do you really hate having to chose what to wear to class? have you used alcohol or drugs in a way that's stressing you out? are there noises or smells that you find seriously unpleasant? is it a person you live with? sometimes surprisingly small things can have a big impact. I have to limit how many crime stories i read, which sounds kind of silly for a 33 year old adult, but for some reason they happen to be one of the things that sets off my anxiety really badly. brains can just be assholes like that sometimes.

figure out what your stressors are, and then you can start figuring out ways to reduce or remove them. don't worry about what a "normal" person would need, who cares about them. everyone everywhere needs some kind of accomodation or has to compromise between that they think they should do and what they realistically can do, it's just that it usually happens behind closed doors so we don't see other people do it. it's not weak or shameful to alter our lives to fit what we need, it's a sign of maturity. and there's almost always at least a partial solution to stressors or mental health triggers. if you can't think of one, try searching online or asking people because there are no new problems, and chances are you're not the first person to ask. if the issue is about the number or type of classes, try and mix up what classes you take to balance out the ones you find particularly hard with easier ones (if you don't get told in advance automatically what coursework or exams will be like, or if you don't know what the lecturer will be like, ask other students - if the school has a message board or forum online for students you could ask there, if you don't know anyone irl to ask - there's usually someone who'll know).

and then, with these done, if things do get bad again, you know the process for asking for extensions, you've primed lecturers to support you if you need to skip class or ask for extra support (and in the unfortunatle situation that any of them didn't respond well to the email you know which classes to prioritise if you have to let some things slip), you'll have coping strategies and ideally professionals to support you, and you'll know what makes things worse and you can take steps to temporarily remove it from your life while you get back on your feet (for example, if you know cooking is a stressor, you can't permanently remove it from your life because you need to eat, but if you hit a bad patch, there's no shame in living on bananas and sandwiches for a few weeks to remove that stress from your life until you're feeling better)

good luck! you've totally got this 💚

AITA for asking my parents to pay my tuition for the semester, lying about how I lost my scholarship, and then planning on lying to my dad regarding his requirements in exchange for him paying the tuition?

My (20X) college has a scholarship for offspring of faculty members, and I was lucky enough to have my application accepted by the college that my dad (53M) works at. This means that I get a full ride scholarship; if I graduate within 4 years, I won't have to pay a single penny to my college (books and supplies not included, of course).

Unfortunately, the scholarship does have two requirements; I need to have taken at least a certain amount of credits semester before (not a ridiculous number), and for that semester, I need to have gotten over a 2.0/4.3 GPA. Easy enough, right? Who can't get a GPA over 2.0?

Well. I suffered a mental health downfall the past semester and I ended up failing half my classes. I was unable to sit my finals. I know this wasn't smart of me, and I think I should've done something about my academic situation other than just wait for the semester to be over, but I had quit a semester due to my mental health decline previously and I didn't want a repeat of that. In any case, I got a GPA of about 1.6. I'm not on probation but I did receive a warning.

Fortunately, this doesn't mean I lost my scholarship for good. I just need to fulfill those requirements in the upcoming semester and I get it back.

I realized I did need to pay my tuition this semester two days before tuition fee acceptance closes and I debated telling only one of my parents. My mom wants me to finish college no matter what, and my dad has told me that he does not care anymore as long as I don't stress him out. He's also told me he no longer has any expectations for me whatsoever. I did also consider talking about it with my brother and borrowing money from him to put together the tuition fee.

I figured I'd bite the bullet and just told my dad, who I know has been stressed about my future and how badly I'm doing in college. I just casually dropped it as I was making breakfast for myself and then we had a lengthy conversation that my mother (51F) joined when she got back home.

I don't remember much of the conversation (I may have memory problems) but the AITA mentioned part is that I lied to my parents and told them I did sit all my finals and try my best. I didn't. I tried that for mid term exams but I had nothing to write, so for finals I didn't sit them at all. This happened with three of the classes I was taking. I just didn't take my finals. My dad was suspicious of my claim; he said that as a professor himself he wouldn't fail students who at least submitted homework and sat their exams to write anything at all, but I maintained that I tried.

The conclusion was that my dad would be willing to pay my tuition if I got my shit together and also deleted my social media, which he thinks is a drain on my time and energy. He's not wrong. I deleted my Twitter accounts immediately afterwards (which my parents don't know about) because I've been thinking about it, but I can't really bring myself to get rid of Discord, where so many of my friends are. People I've met while studying internationally, long-term friends who moved to other countries; Discord is the only way to contact these people.

This is the AITA part; if my dad follows up on that particular requirement to check if I deleted Discord, which he particularly dislikes (he has previously confiscated the electronics I bought with my own money that I earned, after he saw me on muted call at night with some friends), I plan on deleting the app/program on my devices but using it anyway as a website. This would be a betrayal of my dad's trust in me, but there's no love lost between us anyway. He's already told me he doesn't love me unconditionally. (Yes, I'm his biological child and he did raise me.)

I also feel like an asshole because I could've settled this with the help of my brother; I'd pick up a job during the winter break to pay him back, but it would have been done eventually. Or I could've just gone to my mom. She works her own job, and we could've figured it out together without telling my dad. I told my dad anyway, wanting him to pay the tuition, even though I knew that talking about having to spend money on his kids stresses him out deeply.

My mom also told my dad to go to therapy (in detail, so I know it wasn't just something she said as a throwaway thing) during the conversation. It did get heated. I don't disagree, but I don't know if that'd be okay; mental health is stigmatized where I am, and my dad as a grown adult man and a respected professor if seen going to therapy could have his reputation kind of effected. It wouldn't have happened if I just brought up this whole situation quietly up to my mom, or just my brother.

So I lost my scholarship, I lied to my parents about the technicalities of how that happened, and I'm asking for some amount of money from my parents but also planning on lying to them in regards to the terms they set out. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[ocean-anchored]

Dear future self... January 2, 2023

I feel like just last week I did a recap of where I’m at in the majority of areas so I dont need to go and reiterate it all again.  I’ve also been dreading writing this again because I still feel pretty blank minded when it comes to what I hope for this year. I feel like I haven’t really been looking too far into the future these days and am just living in the moments, day by day. Which isn’t fully a bad thing, but I really don’t know where I even imagine myself in 3, 6 or even 9 months from now.  I’ll be 29 this year which is kind of scary to think about. What do I want this year? This year, I hope to focus on saving more. As I did my 2022 recap I mentioned that although I hit my savings goal for last year, I still lived pretty good. With that being said, I hope to be able to stick to a better budget and save more. As my salary is quite a lot higher than what I was making last year and still working for my old company, I feel this to be possible. I hope to say yes more. I’ve been doing a better job at that (while it still aligns with who I am & my values) but I do want to put myself out there more and do more things out of my comfort zone. I hope to this year really better my relationship with God, trust him, continue going to church and surround myself with good, Godly people. People who challenge me and push me to be closer to God. I hope to read more this year, I failed that last year I had way to big of a goal of reading books & have barley gotten through two. I hope to have finished my Highly Sensitive People book and embrace it in ways I didn’t understand before. I hope to challenge myself and put myself in uncomfortable situations that will push me to grow. I hope to take myself on a solo trip, I don’t know where or how long but I really do feel like I need to do more things solo and be content in it. Like going to a movie alone, going out to coffee shops more alone, even going to Church or yoga by myself and not feeling like I need to have someone there with me to feel confident & secure. I hope to continue going out to the mountains and hiking. Getting nova out and exploring where I live. I hope to experience more things this year that I haven’t done before, whether they’re events, locations or anything else. I hope to expand my circle of friends, again finding those core girl friends. It doesn’t have to be a group but to have a couple solid girls that I feel comfortable & close with. I hope to create a healthy lifestyle, one that involves more fitness and exercise while have a healthy, balanced eating lifestyle but not necessarily restricting myself. I hope to continue with blessing my spirit every night before bed and seeing the fruit from that. I hope to be strong enough to leave dating and searching for that someone on the backburner. I hope to feel happy and content on my own and not feel like I’m missing out or behind in my love life, but rather pursue God and his Will & hope that He will align someone for me in the right timing. I hope to draw more and to find more creative outlets. I hope to be kinder to myself and allow myself to soak in the self care days when I need them, but making sure I carve out time to have them. I hope to really rebuild that relationship with Steven & Amanda and invest more time with them and grow. I hope that Meliss starts re-paying us back and making a payment plan. I hope to join some young adults groups and maybe even a bible study. I hope to grow more in my career now and really understand and support Ed in ways that I can reflect back on and see the growth and understanding over time. I hope to find that daily routine that includes all important things: spending time with God, stretching & exercise, time with Nova, self care and a balanced meal(s). I hope I find happiness and contentment. I hope that I can continue to live each day in the moment and not get caught up in social media or worrying about tomorrow. I hope to be less stressed about situations and finances & give it to God. I hope to get back into a routine of waking up early to get the most out of my day, but still practicing a balance of rest and sleep. Most of all, I hope to live each day to the fullest. Writing this has made me feel conflicted. Like part of me can’t really see myself anywhere vastly different in a year from now than where I am today, maybe yes in certain things but as a general, I don’t see my life hugely changing in a year and don’t feel the pressure to, which makes me happy on one side because it’s realizing that I am happy and I have a lot of things in life and am happy with the direction I’m going at this point. I feel like i need to be more content like this, that I dont have to expect and hope that my life is drastically different in a year from now. Not to say that I’m not open to it or accepting, but I’d be happy to work on things that I was more as a lifestyle than anything materialistic. 

[mejomonster]

knew each other in childhood to lovers is always a trope on thin ice for me because i hate the idea of first love being the only true love when like, often in life luck isn’t perfect and we are messy and might need to move on from messy imperfect relationships in youth and learn to make healthier choices and not settle for ppl mean to us like. generally we are not often lucky enough for our 9 year old, 12 year old, 15 year old crushes to actually care the same way back (or us to even care lol) or anyone be mature enough to care about anyone for 2 decades. like if we get lucky some lifetime best friends, if we get Real lucky maybe first love works out. but i like a lot better in stories when its X times of love and finally cause people found good fits who choose each other actively and it works out. i’ve only seen a few shows where that trope has some rights for me lol (tho if you enjoy the trope have fun cause there’s a lot of i imagine good thorough stories with it) ToT:

Till Death Tear Us Apart: money man sugar daddy was deeply in love with childhood friend. Other friend moved on from friendship that had regular value to him, became a spy, only is interacting again cause rich man is so desperate to reconnect and adores him and the spy mess kind of draws them together. they basically fall in love in real time since its the first time knowing each other As rich shady businessman and teacher/SPY. since they changed a lot. also only really a childhood crush on one side. Also the side couple just brand new met each other so even if i had hated the trope in this, it gave me something else too lol

Guardian: BARELY fits into this category, and only for the same reason as above. I realize i’m ok with the young-first-love trope IF and only if it was one sided and basically is still starting from scratch in the present. Shen Wei fell in love with Zhao Yunlan 10k years ago, presumably his first and only love (does he get a pass since he’s an immortal? no but it does make it a bit more cute). But by the time he meets Zhao Yunlan again, he’s GRIEVED and now he’s a new person basically. He’s suspicious and doesn’t know if this even is his lost love (in which case Kunlun used and lied to him and abandoned him), or if its a stranger with his face (ripping his heart open by reminding him of his lost love). For both of them its a cat and mouse of figuring out who each other are, and for Shen Wei its really falling in love anew with this ‘Zhao Yunlan’ for the first time who just happens to bring up complex emotions about his loss - later its an added benefit this is truly Kunlun. (At least in the show, in the novel I think he knows its always Kunlun? Its just still falling in love with a new incarnation). Also very fun that their story is basically an exploration of always one falling in love for the first time, and one already deeply in love for a while. Which is more like chosen soulmates running into each other in any time and place rather than childhood crush to lovers. Feels more like watching Xena/Gabrielle than a childhood crush to lovers. Only applies on a technicality since Shen Wei is sappy and refused to ever try to love besides Kunlun which... I understand, bro is extreme And went through a lot. Like. In a way yes Shen Wei only ever has one first love. But also for him, the process of falling in love with Zhao Yunlan in the present IS him risking falling in love with a new stranger, so its still kind of second love and all the caution of what being hurt/having lost something in the past leaves with you. And of course Zhao Yunlan has had many failed searches for love (in the book baby .... ;-; .... Zhao Yunlan i’m sorry you have such bad luck finding love ... honey). 

Bromance: thin ice ToT. I love this show a lot but was kinda mad about it when i realized the two leads ran into each other as children because one saved the other’s life. Truly the only thing in the show’s entire writing that wasn’t my jam lol. It would’ve been fine if one had just saved the other, but our romantic lead feels kind of like he just imprinted and always wanted to find the person who saved him. While this is mitigated by our lead wanting him to give up looking, letting him know his rescuer feels repaid, and generally both of them just falling in love in real time as adults. So like, its not that bad. Assuming it doesn’t dwell in their childhoods too much more. I get why they wrote it in - one its a super common trope in these shows, two it gave our romantic lead a reason to be INTENSE about trying to find the childhood identity of our other lead (which needed to be happening for certain angles of this plot that aren’t even romance related). So I get it. This show is definitely also given a pass because its setup is so unique and explores some issues romance shows rarely do regarding identity (I think Bureau of Transformers is one of the only other shows I’ve seen do this much regarding exploration of one’s gender identity). also like a bonus our romantic lead is bi, thank you taiwan. You gave me history 3 trapped and now Bromance, i appreciate more bi guys in media. (Bureau of Transformer also managed to give an explicit bi guy lead despite being a cdrama so again, shout out to one of my fave shows!)

 The Guest: ?!!!! Shockingly this ALSO did “knew each other in childhood” as a trope! It has rights though, because NONE of these kids fell in love at the time! They literally just ran into each other during a big murder disaster, got traumatized, went their separate ways. Then as adults minding their own business by luck happen to run into each other and all get mixed up again with the same monster who was responsible for that awful murder night. More a case of ‘coincidence in childhood.’ So not annoying at all. I get why they did it. Also this show is Not romance, so can’t fall into said trope. Though if you see inherent romance in found family, or like me kind of pick up some priest/psychic vibes, then well the trope is just the slightest touch visible lol. 

Word of Honor: Now, apparently lol??! Again, not that annoying, since based on scenes no one had time to fall in love. It was more a case of both kids getting traumatized by having a moment of calm safety then people died (so kind of the Guest vibes but over a period of days/weeks instead of one really sucky night). at a stretch, it might be slightly like Guardian just because Wen Kexing definitely extends more trust than he normally would due to recognizing familiar Four Seasons Manor fight moves and having fond memories of the place. Then having safe memories of kid Zhou Zishu. Likewise to Shen Wei having so many fond memories of Kunlun’s face he cant help but want to do anything to keep Zhao Yunlan alive even when he’s not sure yet if ZYL would kill him/kill his people/if he’s got malicious intent or not in this life or the past in retrospect. Unlike Shen Wei, neither Wen Kexing or Zhou Zishu fell in love in their younger days. Which is why they’re both so excited and over the moon they click so well with someone (considering Who they are and how hard it is to find someone compatible to that). And how they’re both CLINGING now that they think they’ve found a soulmate, and how bitter they are whenever each other’s actions make choosing to be soulmates harder. Oh you know like Wen Kexing going off the rails - Zhou Zishu like fuck can i really decide to make a life with this time bomb, or Zhou Zishu admitting he’s dying - Wen Kexing like damn even if i get my revenge i might not have my new soulmate long and he wasn’t even gonna tell me. Clearly they fell in love as adults, all the childhood stuff is just ICING on the cake of Wen Kexing’s “he already is who i wanted now you tell me he was also the HONEY in my sucky childhood he was that kid i played with the few days i was safe? god really hates me i have to lose this safety TWICE” and Zhou Zishu like “wow not only did i not manage to protect like i was told, thank fuck he is the ONLY disciple i didn’t get killed, i’m even more greatful i didnt destroy him too fuck me i CANNOT lose him he CANNOT get destroyed not even by himself i have ONE good thing and its him please” just some added nails of angst to add to the pain these bitches were already going through circa ep 13. They’re each others hopes and dreams, and to realize they also might be the only things that SURVIVED of their naive childish hopes and dreams as symbols, just makes it that much more terrifying they could lose each other who are literally the Epitome of Hope for decent lives for themselves. With of course their kids. Who are also intensely tied to their hope for a better life and the ability to be good.

[losthomunculus]

Online Safety Relevant to the Current State of the Internet

On twitter I made a tweet about how online safety lessons in school can be very out of touch but that the advice of people who are familiar with the current internet shouldn't be disregarded. So here's my informal collection of online safety tips

Sources: unrestricted internet access since elementary school (not recommended), being a formerly involuntarily home bound person for several years that amassed way too much online experience

This could possibly hold upsetting reminders to people who had bad experiences online including mentions of grooming and emotional manipulation so please proceed with caution!

Information Sharing

Make an online pseudonym for public profiles and websites.

Don’t feel like you have to list everything about you for the world to see.

Sometimes it’s not a question of “can this information be used to locate and identify me irl?”, but simply “do I want this information publicly available and linked to my online persona?”

Unlike offline, being online leaves a constant trail of who you were accessible at all times. People are constantly growing and changing. Try to limit the information you share so you can ditch that trail and start over if need be.

Sharing information with people you make friends with and trust is a judgement call on your part, but always be on the safe side and be protective of your information.

Start as cautious as possible with online safety. Any risks or judgement calls can come later when you are 1. aware of the risks, 2. ready to address them if they occur, and 3. have gathered plenty of information instead of doing something blindly and hoping for the best.

Do not share your triggers publicly, they can very easily be used against you. Instead use websites with a large amount of filtering options to curate your online experience. If you are going to share them, only do it privately with people you trust.

Importance of Boundaries

It doesn’t matter how mature you are, don’t enter age limited spaces you don’t qualify for. It’s disrespectful to the boundaries of the people who made that space. Boundaries like this exist for the comfort of both sides involved.

Just because you can “handle it” doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Desensitization is not something to brag about.

Venting or making r18 posts as a minor on a public account is VERY dangerous. Intense emotional vulnerability is something manipulators will look for as a way to get to you. The same with sexual jokes to develop your comfort talking about those topics casually and eventually escalating the situation. If you are going to talk about such things please keep that in private conversations with people you trust in your age group.

Note the difference between public and private online space. Tweeting something on a public account is not the same as having a conversation in the cafeteria with your friends.

If an adult tries talking to you about r18, run the other way. Doesn’t matter how cool you are, it says something weird about THEM if they’re willing to talk to a minor about that stuff.

If someone( like 3+ years, honestly depends on how old you are) older than you wouldn't be comfortable saying what they're saying to you in front of other people (like a teacher or guardian), that's suspicious as hell. Run in the other direction.

The younger you are, the more age gaps matter. There's a bigger difference in development between a 13 year old and a 17 year old than there is between a 20 year old and a 24 year old. It helps to try to contextualize it with real people instead of numbers. Instead of thinking "oh just 4 years? that's not that weird" consider "oh. that would be like a freshman (13/14) dating a senior (17/18). yikes."

Be just as wary of people your own age talking about things that make you uncomfortable. Just like irl, sometimes you’ll meet people your age that are hurtful.

Friends complain to each other and talk about their issues, that alone is fine. But when people are doing it without permission, draw a line. When people are making it feel like you’re responsible for maintaining their mental health, you need to draw a line. When it starts to effect your mental health, PLEASE DRAW A LINE! I know it feels like your responsibility sometimes, but it’s not. You cannot be there for others if you’re not taking care of yourself first and foremost.

Don’t be afraid to block people. Even for petty reasons. It’s good to block people. Don’t force yourself to see stuff you don’t want to see.

Being Constantly Online

The 24 hour news cycle is not a good thing to follow 24/7. Taking social responsibility is a good thing, but your brain is NOT built to worry about every issue in the world at once. One strategy I use for staying sane is I try to only check the news once a day, and if something needs more attention to set aside an amount of time I’m going to focus on it before I need to take time to step back.

Touch grass. Not literally, unless you can in which case I highly suggest it, sometimes it’s just good to lay in a field. What I mean is you need to dedicate a good portion of your time to being offline (sleep does not count). What your offline time looks like is going to differ depending on your level of ability, but even if you are house bound it’s important to build some hobbies that don’t rely on the internet. Talking to people offline is also a good goal if possible, even just to your housemates.

Social etiquette greatly differs online and offline and sometimes the reminder that were all just Some People gets lost behind the numbers and the fabricated personas. Keep in mind the difference in how information is shared without forgetting that the fact we are all people remains the same.

Be generous with your etiquette. You will avoid a lot of stress if you conduct yourself with the same politeness you would have in an offline interaction. Master the art of "minding your own business" for your own sake.

Arguments and Competition

As soon as you can, you need to internalize the fact that leaving an argument is not losing.

It is inevitable you will be exposed to many people who disagree with you. Some people only want to argue to rile you up. Sometimes that’s not their intention, but it’s what they’re doing. You do not have to remain in conversation with people, especially if they’re not interested in actually coming to an understanding. Even if they are interested, sometimes they just suck!! Leave!! You can leave!!

On that note, sometimes you are going to get valid criticism and it’s going to hurt. That is part of learning. If someone says you messed up and did something hurtful, take a second to step back from your defensiveness and consider: intent ≠ effect. Apologize, repair what you can, and move forward with the ability to do better in the future. You’re going to mess up every once in awhile, it’s inevitable.

To summarize the past two points: don't waste your time on unnecessary hostility but don't close yourself into an echo chamber either. Debates should be about learning.

Sometimes people are not going to like you. This happens offline too but people tend to be a lot more blunt online. Sometimes people dislike you for no reason or for really petty reasons. That’s not your problem, move on.

Don’t actively seek out people you don’t like or who don’t like you to argue with. Whether or not your side is the “right side” doesn’t matter, it’s going to cause you so much unnecessary stress. Feel free to keep posting your opinions on your own profile but don’t seek out unnecessary conflict.

This is a different type of competition than previously mentioned, but be aware of the danger of comparing yourself to other people. Especially if you’re a creative or student, DO NOT GET SWEPT UP IN THE GRIND CULTURE. It’s more subtle in some places than others, but anytime you see the notion that you should be working yourself to the bone be VERY critical. Also be critical of any online cultures (such as gaming and art communities) that brag about unhealthy habits or act like it’s ~part of the culture~ (ex: all nighters, not taking breaks, getting hurt. Any activity that neglects health to work toward a goal).

Not just grind culture, any community of subculture that shares anti recovery sentiments is a huge red flag. Even if they're joking, it's not worth the risk of internalizing those statements.

Everyone’s social media presence is to some degree doctored because it’s a purposefully selected collection of what they allow you to see. It’s fine to like the persona you see being displayed, but never forget that it is not reflective of the entire person. Everyone online is JUST SOME PERSON. Do not forget that and start holding yourself to a standard you can’t even see every side of.

By posting online you are opening yourself to criticism. Whether or not it’s justified can vary, but either way it’s going to happen. Mute stuff, go private, disable comments, etc if you need to.

Misc Tidbits

these are technically just general info that is also good for offline but I have seen things that make me think people online need the extra reminder.

Learn what cults are, how they recruit, and what they do to their members. I'm not kidding. This is particularly relevant at the moment because of current societal unrest and widespread loneliness. No one is immune to cult propaganda, and not every cult is based on pre established religion or family. Many exist ONLINE and are able to manipulate people without ever meeting face to face. (learn more: Loneliness as a Pandemic: The Dangers of Online Cult

Familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience. Please familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience and then learn how to identify pseudoscience. (learn more: Karl Popper, Science, & Pseudoscience: Crash Course Philosophy #8)

Q. How do I know if a source is reliable?

Final Thoughts

It's important people of ALL ages learn these lessons, because the internet is constantly changing and we are all vulnerable when in the presence of other people.

Be cautious and stay safe

[imaginationmess]

Flares [MIDORIYA IZUKU X FEM!READER][PRO HERO AU]; Chapter ONE

Summary: Midoriya Izuku is the number one pro hero. He finds himself alone often thinking of the past and what he could have done differently. Everyone around him is moving forward with their lives, but he seems to be stuck in the past. He can’t find himself moving forward with his life other than his career, but romance has been frozen for years. He can’t bring himself to love someone else other than the girl he fell in love with when he was 18 years old and was ready to propose to only have the worst of luck. She vanished with barely leaving evidence behind. It’s been 7 years since then. Everything changes the day of the anniversary of her disappearance.

MASTERLIST

Chapter ONE

Word: 1,340+

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Midoriya Izuku comes back to his home with a box of beer to drink with the intention to numb his feelings.

He stares at the massive apartment where he often ponders why he even keeps it. He still clings upon a place where you and he had plans to live for years to come. You barely made it a month of living in it with him before you disappeared and leaving no trace behind who could have done it. However, you put up a strong fight against your captors within the security cameras within the building you worked for.

It was way too big for himself. There were 3 bedrooms with 2 bathrooms. He feels even more isolated from the world. Alone within this big space. He takes a heavy sigh as he places his car keys on the small gray maple bowl. He kicks off his shoes and hastily places the box of beer in his dining room. He stretches, cracking a few bones on his back before heading to the shower. He passes by big cardboard with a red string attached to photos and locations with notes.

The photos are from the evidence of support items with identical markings to your previous inventions. The support items that have been used are tied to villain association then have risen after the takedown of the League of Villains many years ago.

He hasn't loosened hope in her being alive, but everyone else is already starting to doubt to believe she is still alive after her case has gotten cold among others. He doesn't blame them. It's been 3 years since her trial got cold because her invention markings abruptly stopped separating them from other support items. Whenever he has free time, he scouts areas where a criminal organization could be hiding undercover. He looks over her file over and over in case he misses something. He has gotten things that he has missed before. Like some of the inventions had a number carved on them singularly. It was a giant puzzle that you had left for them to solve. He had suspicions. It was the coordinates of the location. You were being held at, but he never got the rest of the numbers. He travels to random coordinates that could match all over Japan whenever he could.

Tomorrow, it will be the anniversary of your disappearance. Everyone knows to leave him alone during the week of your disappearance anniversary because he will be reckless and not have his mind isn't clear. He has gotten seriously injured because he was distracted. It is always around this time of year.

Everyone tells him to take a week-long break from hero duties. He is aware of how he behaves during this time and knows how reckless to be suicidal. Even the media has somewhat respect for him during this time of the year. It could have been a lawsuit with them trying to take a dangerous picture that almost cost their life along with him. A building collapsed and the photographer wasn't paying attention to their surroundings. Midoriya had forced them out of the way to save their life, but he got buried alive under the rubble with numerous broken bones.

The Hero Commissions are even stricter in protecting their own heroes after the collapse of the hero's society many years ago. They are more flexible for heroes to create their own schedule and health. They don't want to repeat history. This time of the year, He just gets reminded how much he has failed you. It's been years since he told you he would find you. He was so close to you by merely a few feet from each other. It was within the 12 hours of her kidnapping that happened. It was an exchange location of you being handed over as if you were an object instead of a human being. You were barely conscious due to the heavy drug used on you to prevent you from fighting back.

There was barely evidence to connect with the active villain group that is rarely active as if they are playing to do something bigger. They change locations constantly from their minor operations. He hasn't found their main base of operations where he believes where you are being held.

He heads to the bathroom where he plans to shower before starting his self-guilt drinking week. He doesn't have anything important to attend to. Everyone lets him be. No one would bother him, letting him mourn alone for this week before being dragged into reality. He has a collection of heavy liquor where he has found over the years in his kitchen cabinet that are more effective to make him drunk.

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The next day early morning, Bakugou Katsuki and Kirishima Eijirō were scouting an area where there was reported to be suspicious activity during the early mornings. It was heavily snowing, but it didn't stop them from doing their jobs. "I do feel bad for Midoriya. I can't imagine how he is feeling and is still optimistic about it too." Kirishima looks over to Bakugou who is stomping in the snow angrily. Bakugou hates the snow with a passion.

"I wouldn't lose hope either until I see a body." Bakugou stops his walking when he hears something breaking apart before children's screams cut through the quiet atmosphere where there are frozen lakes.

They both look up in the sky to see something letting out smoke and small pieces falling rapidly down and breaking the ice of the lake.

Bakugou was already in the air attempting to reach the citizens. Kirishima was already calling for backup and informing them of the situation at hand. He was running on foot, stopping when he heard something crack under his foot. He was stepping on a frozen lake, no longer land.

Bakugou sees them. It was an adult female and a child falling out of the sky. The adult was moving their arms rapidly as if they were trying to do something, but it only brought more smoke and more pieces falling apart. However, as soon as the female adult sees him flying towards them.

She does the unthinkable, but thinks what the better chances of her child are making it out alive.

She twists around in the air, making the child face the sky instead of the frozen lake that is breaking due to the pieces falling apart from her homemade Jetpack backpack. She moves her hand to reach out a homemade knife to slice the strings which tie them together from her child's waist belt and using the other hand in front of her child's chest to where there was a hidden button under the vest shoulder.

"Forgive me."

She moves her hand with the knife to slice through the string and pressing the button. She clenches her eyes for impact as the child's backpack explodes against their mother's chest. This causes the child to bounce up into the sky while throwing the mother straight down the frozen lake.

"Mama!"

Bakugou grabs the child that was falling again by their shredded backpack. The child is screaming for their mother who crashes into the icy cold lake water. The sound of the helicopter could be heard as Bakugou is trying to navigate away from the lake while holding a terrified child who was crying uncontrollably hiding their face against his chest. Kirishima was running over to them taking off his jacket to cover up the child who had no protection from the bitter cold. Bakugou was frozen on the spot, staring into the head of the child. The child looks identical to his rival, childhood friend, Midoriya Izuku.

"If that's his kid, does that mean?" Kirishima comes to the realization, the only female that Midoriya Izuku has been involved in intimacy would be the one who has been missing for years.

"That adult must be [L/N] [F/N]."

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I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Any thoughts/Feelings/Predictions that you have while out reading this chapter. I would love to hear them! <3

If you are interested in being tagged in the future, comment below.

[buckysgoldenheart]

Watching You

Walter Marshall x Reader

Summary: Walter did not like to waste time on stupid things, and being asked by some young troublemaker to start following an ex-girlfriend around fell under that category. At least, it did, until he found out just who the ex-girlfriend was.

Words:  2334

Warnings: Cursing. Slight smut. Not Edited or anything of the sort, so expect little!

Note: This is just something I had saved that I thought I’d post while I finish up the Vampire Henry Series (Unexpectedly Bitten). I plan to post the rest of that fic all at once, most likely this weekend. As always, comments are appreciated :)

What a no-good loser. That’s what Walter thought the second Jimmy Masters walked through the front door of his office on a Saturday evening. He was a good six inches shorter than Walter, much scrawnier, ten years younger at least, and in desperate need of a haircut. He was the kind of kid Walter hated, the kind of kid that had probably seen the inside of a jailcell for a night or two for some stupid, petty crime, yet refused to learn his lesson.

Walter’s eyebrow arched in disinterest and he sat back in his chair, arms crossed as a coworker led the kid inside.

“We think this falls in your area, Marshall.”

Walter had only nodded and told the boy to sit to explain his reason for interrupting the first moment of peace in the day.

“I got a friend who says detectives know how to follow people real well,” Jimmy said, his voice an aggravating tone that Walter already couldn’t stand.

Walter cleared his throat. “Your friend is rather astute.”

“What?”

The detective blew out a breath, exhausted after speaking with the kid for less than a minute. “Just tell me what you want.” And when Jimmy was done with his pitch, Walter said with a sigh, “You want me to follow a girl that clearly doesn’t want anything to do with you?”

“No, man. She loves me. She does. She’s just confused right now, and I gotta make sure there’s no other guy, ya know? I don’t want her messing around. It’s disrespectful.”

Walter heaved out another long sigh, rubbing at his temples. “But she’s your ex-girlfriend.”

Jimmy shook his head, his shaggy, dusty-blond hair swaying vigorously with the motion. “That’s temporary.”

Snorting, Walter sat up in his chair. “Sure it is. Look, you think maybe she just isn’t interested anymore?”

“Hey, I’m not here for additional commentary. Can you help me or not?”

“From what you’ve said, she’s not breaking any laws, she’s not a danger to herself or others, so I have no reason to—”

“Please, man. Please,” Jimmy said, putting his palms together in lame prayer. Walter was sure this boy hadn’t prayed to anything in his entire life. “I’ll never step foot in here again if you help me out just this once.”

Walter eyed the kid, trying to weight the pros and cons of wasting his time on something so inane, but if it got the little, blond twit to go away, then he figured there were worse things. It had been a slow week as it was. He groaned and grabbed a pen and a piece of paper. “Fine. What’s her name?”

------------------------------------------------------

“Walter,” You said, trying to hold back any emotion in your voice as you moved aside to let him pass the threshold into your small apartment. As habit had it, you were much happier to see him than you wished. Walter always had a way of lighting your every nerve on fire from just your bodies being in the same room. You couldn’t help wanting him, missing him, but you hid it well.

As he walked in, his body trailed the outside chill behind, sending a shiver down your spine. Then he pulled the beanie you’d bought him off his head and turned to face you. Though the irritated look on his face was not an uncommon one, you didn’t appreciate it directed at you.

You crossed your arms. “Well?” Walter hung around quite often until you had asked him to quit it, and though he didn’t usually listen to you--putting his own concerns above your wishes--you knew he held a respect for you that made him at least try to keep his distance. If he was stopping by now…well, it could only bring you trouble, but not seeing his face in so long had you more lenient.

“Why is some punk walking into my precinct and asking me to follow you?”

Your eyebrows rose. “What?”

“Don’t ‘what’ me. How many punks could you possibly have hanging around?”

Being a decade older, Walter often made you laugh at his distaste for younger adults. You were the one exception, he’d always said, but all others were ‘punks.’ He feared the day Faye had to deal with boys your age, if she were ever so unlucky. “You met Jimmy?”

His fists kept clenching and unclenching, his shoulders somehow broadened, and the frown on his face made his eyebrows pinch and dip deep. “This idiot is really attached to you, Y/N.”

The more he spoke, the more you realized that ‘irritated’ may have been too sweet a word for what Walter really was. “He just doesn’t like his ego being bruised.”

Walter shrugged off his winter coat and tossed it on the couch as if it was still normal for him to do so, then ran a hand through the dark, messy curls you always loved. “Why the hell are you messing around with a--?”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m not messing around with him anymore.”

“Well, he seems to think it’s temporary.”

“It’s not.”

Crossing his arms, Walter shook his head like a disappointed parent would at their bratty, misbehaving child; the way you’d seen him look at Faye every time he found out she was spending too much time on social media. “Stay away from this guy, alright?”

“You would tell me to stay away from any guy,” You mumbled to yourself with a snort.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing.”

“Do not give me attitude,” He snapped back. “You’re not being safe! If you were, maybe we wouldn’t be having this conversation!"

Instantly, your shoulders stooped and the same old headache began to form. “Not this again, Walt. According to you I’m never safe unless I’m in your line of sight.”

“Yes!” He yelled, stomping your way, stopping just short of ramming his body through yours. “Now if only you could stay in it!”

“You can’t have eyes on me all day every day.”

“The hell I can’t!”

“You promised, Walter.” You let out a small whine. “I told you it was too hard for me to keep seeing you around wherever I went, and you promised you would stop watching me.” You wished it didn’t have to be that way. You wished seeing his face didn’t bring on such a potent punch of pain, but it did. Every single day when you left your apartment, you saw him standing by his car, a coffee cup in hand, unashamedly watching you like some creep. Eventually, you stopped looking in the direction you knew he would be, hoping you may forget he was there at all, but you always felt his eyes on you; such a strong stare, he might as well have been touching you. But you couldn’t take it. Months of your every move being tracked by the man you loved but couldn’t have was taking its toll, and so you begged him to leave you alone, to give you some relief.

“I did stop, and what happened? Barely a month after I made that stupid promise, some dumb, obsessed kid comes asking me to stalk you.”

You leaned back against the wall, growing more exhausted by the minute. “Well, with all the past practice you’ve had watching my every move, I’d say he was rather smart to pick you of all people. Shitty coincidence that he would though, since now I’m getting lectured.”

“I am not lecturing you.”

“Fine, but whatever this is you’re doing here, you’re out of line. My business is not your business anymore. It hasn’t been your business for the last five months.”

“Your little boyfriend came to me,” He said, pointing a finger at his chest, “so yes, it is my bus--”

“It is not!” You bit back. “You could’ve turned him away. You could’ve told him not to follow me around unless he was itching to get a restraining order, but you didn’t, did you? You took this opportunity to check up on me. Again!”

He stepped back, looking as if you had slapped him. His aggressive, guarded barrier of emotions cracked, and you could see the vulnerability he hadn’t shown since your relationship ended.

“Walter” You sighed, “You’re the one who stepped back. You’re the one who said it would be best if we weren’t in a relationship. You said I was a distraction and—”

“I said you’d be at risk, not that you’re a distraction.”

“It doesn’t make a difference.”

“Damn it, Y/N, it does! I only did it because I love you!” He said without hesitation, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “You know that!”

You blinked. “No, I did not know that! You seriously broke up with me because you love me? That’s ridiculous.”

“I broke up with you to keep you safe, but I clearly suffered for nothing seeing as you put yourself in unsafe situations even without my association.”

You wanted to believe him, so bad, but people don’t leave behind the ones they love. After all, you loved him and the thought of leaving him made you nauseous, even now. When you were together, he may have appeared in love, but after a year he still hadn’t told you and you knew you’d let yourself get a little too hopeful. If you were honest with yourself, him breaking up with you was not as much of a shock as it should’ve been. But as you looked at him now, you could see that he truly believed you already knew.

“It doesn’t make sense that you would do that,” You said. “People don’t just break up with someone they love.”

“Fuck, Y/N, did I ever seem unhappy with you? Did I ever come across like I didn’t want you every second of every day? My every other thought was of you,” He said loudly, like a rant, and you were having a hard time figuring out who he was mad at. “So don’t try to tell me how I felt, and feel now. I still love you and that’s not going to change, but I can’t have criminals, murderers even, coming after you because they are pissed at me for hunting them down or having a case against them. It would take nothing for the average officer or detective to figure out that you and I were together even if we were hiding it. How hard do you think it would be for some psychopath?”

You hadn’t realized a tear slipped down your cheek until you tasted it at the corner of your lips. It was salty but somehow bitter and left a thick burning path along your skin. You quickly wiped it away. “Why didn’t you tell me this months ago?”

“Because, stubborn as you are, you wouldn’t have listened. You would have told me it didn’t matter.” He fell backwards onto the couch, closing his eyes and letting out a groan. “I try to do the right thing. I try to protect you, thinking everything will be fine as long as no one can link you to me, but I can’t…stay away.” His eyes met yours. “And then you beg me to, and it’s excruciating to obey. When I was able to watch over you, it reminded me that I did the right thing. You were safe and I could constantly be reassured of that.”

You walked over to him, your heart thumping with every step, then sat on your knees in front of him, placing your hand atop his own resting on his thigh. His other hand reached for your face and his fingers softly grazed your cheek before they tucked some hair behind your ear. “Walt—”

“That kid…Jimmy,” Walter interrupted as he began tracing the back of your hand with his thumb. “He thinks you’re in love with him.”

“I’m not.”

“You swear?”

“Of course, Walt. I told you--”

“I know,” He said with a single nod of his head. “I know. Maybe I’ll actually get some sleep now.”

You rested your cheek on the inner side of his knee and said, “You could sleep here.”

“Don’t say things like that.”

“Why not?” You bit your lip nervously. You couldn’t even dare to count how many times you’d had sex during the course of your relationship, but now, asking him not to leave made your pulse thrum in your ears.

He leaned forward and looked down at you. “Because I don’t think I can say no to you.”

“Then why would you bother trying,” You whispered without a second thought and slowly inched up on your knees so you could connect your lips with his.

It lasted only a second or two before he broke the kiss, grabbed you by the arm, and yanked you onto his lap. His grip at the back of your neck pulled your mouth to his as your hand slipped between your bodies and quickly started to undo his belt buckle.

“God, baby,” Walter groaned against your lips when you wrapped your fingers around his thick cock and released it from his jeans. He pulled the ratty, old t-shirt of his over your shoulders and softly settled his hands on your hips. “Damn it.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just…missed these,” He said, placing a kiss on one bare breast, then the other. “I missed you, so much.” He placed his lips to the curve of your neck, then met your eyes. “I miss you every fucking day.”

You kissed his forehead, and his arms tightened around you as you lifted your hips and sank down onto him. “I missed you too, Walter,” You said, but the words melted somewhere within the mix of your moans and his groans.

------------------

Tags: @agniavateira​ @forthebrokenheartedthings​ @summersong69​ @starlite13​ @mstgsmy​ @purplelove75​ @defffcc​ @the-soot-sprite​ @kissthatlifeaway​ @atomicpaperhairdouniversity​ @aquariuslavenderhoney​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @the-problem-of-leisure​ @meganwinchester1999​

[butterflyinthewell]

RPF…

RPF, for those who don’t know, stands for Real Person Fiction.

This is meant to spark discussion, so anyone coming in with bad faith takes like “why do you wanna draw p0rn of minors so bad” will get blocked because I actually don’t want to draw anybody and I’m hoping to see nuanced discussion about RPF itself since it’s a bit controversial.

Personally, RPF weirds me out because it feels voyeuristic, and the idea of minors being written about that way freaks me out a lot. It’s the main reason I avoid RPF stuff. I don’t harass people who make it, I just don’t want to look at their stuff.

I’ve nudged in RPF a little bit with my fics by having real people appear in them as characters, but it was more a case of real people being injected into fictional worlds and not stories about them specifically. That’s about as far in as I personally am willing to go in creating it.

I feel like this subject is almost impossible to discuss without censorship being brought up and I’m not sure how to broach it, so I’m going to spill my thoughts on the matter.

“RPF” in the form of major media stuff (ie movies like The Theory of Everything, or historical figures popping up on a time travel show like Doctor Who) is one thing because I’m sure it has to go through a lot of approval about what is and isn’t okay to portray about that person before it can get made, whereas fan creators can just create it and post it.

If it’s a teenager writing a smutty fantasy and it��s the awkward teen stuff you see in typical fanfiction written by young teens, that’s one thing, that’s just a teen being a teen. I would be a lot more bothered by an adult writing about a celeb minor with intense focus on things like their developing bodies/genitals, where it’s obvious they’re turned on by the fact that they’re drooling over a child’s body.

At the same time, there’s also the recognition that writing about doing something to somebody and actually physically doing it to them are very different things. Writing about a real child that way is disgustingly creepy, no argument there, but it’s still not the same as someone actually putting their hands on that child.

If they haven’t seen that celeb naked, their portrayal may be totally inaccurate. (Maybe they don’t have freckles there, maybe they shave certain areas, etc.) Still, it’s imagining a real living child, not an imaginary character like Rin or Shippou from Inuyasha. I feel like that’s where the fulcrum of this is, and, again, I don’t know how to discuss it without censorship being brought up.

There is also the possibility of the person being written about stumbling into it and being horrified, and I think they should have the right to issue a takedown of that story regardless of age.

For obvious reasons, any sexual images drawn of any celebrity child is CSEM because that’s drawing a real, living child in a sexual situation and that’s never okay.

I feel like the line is clearer if someone is drawing fanart of, say, Izzy from Transformers 5 naked because that is still the recognizable likeness of Isobel Manor, a real person who was a minor in that movie. That would be CSEM even if you drew her with Bumblebee in the background because she’s a real, recognizable person.

Obviously, drawing a character like Ed Elric from FullMetal Alchemist or Lextington from Gargoyles are different because they only exist as drawings with actors supplying voices. Personally, I’m uncomfortable with it, but I leave it alone because they’re not real. I look away.

The line blurs when we consider characters played by minor actors in heavy makeup, like Deep Space Nine’s Nog character (Aaron Eisenberg) where he looks very different without his Ferengi makeup. We have no idea what Ferengi look like under their clothes, so someone could give him a totally alien body that’s unrecognizable from the person wearing the makeup on set. Where is the line there? I would be bothered by it, but that’s my own opinion.

(If it helps, I wouldn’t be bothered at all by an image of Odo or Worf portrayed sexually because Rene Auberjonois and Michael Dorn were/are adults.)

What about someone wearing lighter makeup, perhaps playing a Vulcan? Their face is still recognizable, all that changes are the hair(sometimes), the eyebrows and the ears.

So where is the line? It’s fairly clear with drawn art, but it’s still not crystal clear.

With writing, it’s even blurrier.

I think the written RPF issue feels like a discussion with several layers of nuance specifically because there’s that barrier of it being written and not drawn, so it’s not immediately visual.

I wish AO3 had an unlisted option like YouTube where people could only see a fic if they had a link, because that would minimize the number of eyes on questionable stuff while the legality and morality of it get figured out. (Also, it can give authors ways to share works that could minimize harassment.)

I hope I stated my thoughts clearly. Again, I stress that I don’t harass people for their content and I don’t want to associate with people who do. I’ve seen some division about RPF and am curious about your thoughts on it.

Discuss.

[cutegirlmayra]

Hiiiiii, I rly like your writing X3 I was wondering if you’d answer this question: What is your interpretation of what SEGA is doing with SonAmy as of right now? Seems like it’s becoming more and more canon. I know you’ve done similar question before, but could you maybe just answer this for 2021? Thanks!💖💙

No problem! And thank you, lovely Anon~<3 I love writing for the feels~ But also for the accuracy to be as close as possible if I can manage it! First of all, they’ve always been canon? Maybe not ‘in-world dating’ canon but canon in the sense that they are a official SEGA advertised couple since the get-go.

Amy was created to literally be in the slot of ‘Sonic’s Girlfriend’ where she had feelings for Sonic and always a fun mystery as to decipher Sonic’s subtle ‘returned caring’ for her.

As for 2021 we are so FREAKIN’ HAPPY to hear that SEGA is FINALLY marketing the two and VISUALLY SEEING the sales of their ‘couple shirts’ and the like make some profit. Furthermore, we have long-time fans and professionals in the careers within SEGA also vocalizing that they don’t mind the couple and even support it. With less emphasis on the ‘fandom fanatics’ of the raging past and more so on the fantastic marketability and popularity the couple brings to SEGA’s exposing their main IP, it’s become almost common ground to expect more and more people liking romantic and suggested romantic couples in all ranging medias.

We need also mention the alarming rate of the worrisome numbers in Japan recently. Conducted studies have shown that most of Japan’s population is elderly, and in the very near future (About 5 years or so) a good chuck of Japan’s population will die. This means the Japanese Government is promoting more and more companies within both entertainment, advertising, etc. to be more ‘promoting family’ in their media. Japan needs more babies! And guess what?

Mario Odyssey comes out with a completely ‘Wedding themed’ video game.

Dramatic romantic underlying's in Zelda’s new game.

Final Fantasy 7 Remake’s focus on romantic underlying’s along with Cloud willingly saying (English version) “Do I have any say in this?” As though to fight the idea that romance can’t happen and-

Kingdom Hearts 3′s romantic underlying that literally has a song (Japanese) talking about rings and getting married called “Chikai” or also ‘Oath’ that in English is rewritten to a romantic song about going deeper into love called “Don’t Think Twice” but literally has the two ‘making their fates intertwined’ in a symbol of ‘romantic intentions’ such as marriage or even just fidelity in a relationship.

So? How does all this influence the latest Sonamy supersonic boom we’ve seen in the media recently?

Although Sonic is his own character, he’s also only 15 (But as many of you have seen in Anime, Japanese ages of appropriateness are different then our own cultures and societies) we see faint glimpses. In the mostly American-made Sonic Boom t.v series, the comedic moments of Sonic and Amy are very much to a genre of American audiences and how we view ‘funny love’ should normally be marketed as. (I don’t always agree with what they say, but that’s how they’re trained and believe the ‘trends’ go... so ... can’t argue with professionals? Eh? -I personally think they’re outdated *cough cough*)

Sonic is not one to express feelings in overly dramatic ways which is common place in American television and media, but he’s also got a ‘boy’s heart’ which means we won’t see a lot of things from him BESIDES ‘romantic underlyings’ that are probably going to be initiated and themed mostly and primarily in Amy Rose’s character (If at all shown or expressed.)

For these reasons, I believe SEGA is just hopping on the bandwagon and doing what they’re told, while also following the latest trends that the other big fellow companies are making a significant profit on. I know we wish and want SEGA to be ‘special’ in how they think, but they really are just a company that is trying to survive and outlast the competition.

It’s sad to think that way, especially when SEGA used to be so creative and always influencing the next best thing but that was YEARS ago and they’ve learned to tread water since then...

(Goku being a grandfather emphasizes family in this particular scene where they take his granddaughter before a big tournament fight to a fair/festival. We see Goku with his family too, or at least, a successful son with his wife and daughter, spending time with his Father-In-Law, and the like.)

We see it in Dragon Ball emphasizing family, we see it in more romance-themed animes (and those that have only recently done romance, when they--for the longest part--never indulged in such things before or previously) and we now see more japanese games and media centralized around that.

What does that mean for Sonamy? Hopefully good things! Because if you buy the merch, they’ll produce more content. It’s a basic ‘supply and demand’ formula. If the demand (meaning how much you spend and want Sonic and Amy couple merch) goes up, then they have to supply to keep their business afloat. If they don’t they sink, but that DOES NOT MEAN TO BE AGRESSIVE. It means just support when they do something you like, and positively, kindly mention what you liked and wish to see more of if the future allows. No one reads aggressive writing unless, they too--wish to be aggressive back.

SEGA’s had issues with aggressiveness before, please let them see that couples in the sonic world won’t have a negative impact on their branding with irrational and bad-media frenzies. (Now, after saying this, I know people will start to do just that, don’t feed fire with fire, just let the fire burn till it has nothing left to consume, and carry on happily posting fanart or fanstories of what you love. Ignore to extinguish, which is what SEGA will do to Sonic shipping fans if we don’t act somewhat reasonably, okay?)

My predictions are such: 1. Amy’s crush will sadly lessen in impact and become more of a novelty, something that is treasured when moments arise to reveal her crush on Sonic, which in my opinion, is not her personality, but due to the heavy influence of women’s portrayal (Especially in America) being overemphasized and not done well, this is how they will try and combat it... (No one does this right and you shouldn’t base a characters solely on political reasonings...) 2. Sonic will have moments of caring for Amy or doing something sweet that can and probably will be interpreted as ‘a couple moment’ but he’ll remain mostly about other things, and the ‘underlying romance’ will have to come through Amy Rose’s character. 3. SEGA will loosen some rules after seeing more and more of the productivity and trend associated with marketing romance, and to keep up with demand and growing times, will finally let small moments emerge between the two, but the fandom will not be satisficed since we will now be desensitized to overly avert demure and oblivious stereotropes that will date their characters. and won’t allow them to proceed smoothly into the new area of customers and audiences.

Children are becoming extremely observant and aware. They are clever, and they always have been. It’s time to market to Children and Young Adults, not babies.

My ways to avoid this, predictions 1: New employees will surface that will start to get a name and reputation in the Sonic Fandom, along with youtube and internet stars who will influence certain marketing schemes (as is starting to appear now, and I feel will be just like ‘star marketing’ or ‘influencers’ that will be popularized in fandoms that companies will slightly make use of.) that will encourage new ideas and bring about a sudden ‘boom’ not expected. (Especially after the lull of the pandemic, I feel there will be an abundance of things happening in the upcoming years... but nothing right now, unfortunately, but at least they’re forced to focus on working on things instead of just releasing to keep up with other companies.)--In other words, they will incorporate new blood with the old, and they will lead Sonic’s IP into a ton of nostalgia and new beginnings that will actually stick and become Sonic’s new brand identity. (This will resonate with fans old and new, but still be a fresh leap into the future for the franchise and fandom.) 2. Sonic’s negative popularity will start to decrease, leading and paving the way for fame and possible adjustments such as more romantic themes to keep up with trends and Japanese Government demands (especially when the population starts to wither and it becomes an emergency situation to start encouraging family ties). Other than sonamy or romantic things, I believe new characters will pop up to ‘test the waters’ and see if we like romance intertwined adventures. 3. Villains will become more sentimental and caring, less comedically, they will be redeemable entities so that the company can market them more. This can also lead into funny romances that help other romances develop and have more meaning. (In other words, they’ll dig into their vault of familiar and new faces, go off the trend of ‘redeeming the villain’ and have more heart-to-heart moments that may inspire more canonical couples... especially if a newer villain were to have a crush that ended up helping two canon characters get together and leave the audience sympathizing more with the villain. This is an actual trend starting where Villains have more character and roles other than just being evil and staying that way till death. I suspect this will be popularized in American and possibly foreign media as time goes on.)

(I actually have a lot of the sonamy shirts lol But here’s an example of the villain actually helping the canon couple have more ‘romantic underlying’ moments together <3)

Those are my current predictions, though I admit that some don’t sound all that hopeful. But hey! All my hopeful and positive predictions have already come true XD Sonamy is being marketed, the new media (Sonic Boom at the time) had subtle but more forward comedic hinting (that I don’t feel went all that well? But eh, that’s just me!), and SEGA continues to try and reface Sonic which his brand doesn’t need. I believe they will still try and rebrand Sonic continually until something sticks for them that they like. Sonamy may go through many iterations, as they are still hesitant with it, and we see that by only marketing their ‘younger selves’ as in Classic Sonamy, and are too ‘shy and uncertain’ if backlash would happen if they advertised a more mature-looking Sonic and Amy marketing. Again, I don’t know if they’ll fully grow out of this, so I predict they won’t.

(I have this one but in black <3 <3 <3)

That’s it for now! My positive last comments would be the more we buy/purchase Sonamy merch, the more we’ll start seeing it in their media and entertainment products. Until then, do your best and write, draw, and review -kindly- to keep those articles of enchantment alive with the sweet sound of--”When will Sonic and Amy finally have a love song AMV moment for us?” lol