#and i think about dread so often

[askdread]

uhhh lallalalala

[iliothermia]

I won't be able to finish this drawing before the convention, which will take up my next 5 days.. But I want to talk a little about him.. I've been thinking about golems and Frankenstein, and the trans body, projection and misunderstanding, villainization and death.

The concepts of Frankenstein's monster and the golem have been swimming in my head for a while, and their lore intertwining.. The tragedy of existing being seen as a monster no matter how you try,.. And the Golem, a protector of his people and a servant whose only flaw always rang a bit close to home as an an autistic person-- being too literal in execution of his orders. He's tired and struggles with a yearning for death. His havdalah candles will be out.. The first flame of the week, a spark of starting over again-- The flame brings him fear. As much as he's kept himself together he doesn't know how much longer he can keep doing it, he fears failure- but the fear of what may happen if he's gone is even more terrifying. He's lived a long life, and over time the one who formed him has sculpted him to the golem's own wishes.. From nothing to the man he is- but even with that effort, to outsiders he's still a monster. His skin is different shades of clays from varying riverbeds as his people have travelled.. Golems are unformed, imperfect.. but even as outsides can be polished the insides can still be broken

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[coffeeworldsasaki]

Another thing that makes kaladin so painfully relatable is how much his mental illness hides his personality, because between depressive episodes and trauma he's this sarcastic little shit that smiles a lot at his friends and then the depression gets to him and all that disappears

[vaguely-concerned]

rook x lucanis: romance with a commentary track! solas and spite contribute with their thoughts and opinions along the way whether anyone wants them to or not. it's like a MST3K episode up in here as you try to get hot and heavy. in. in the pantry. love among the radishes at the end of the world (rifftrax version)

[falmerbrook]

Not to be too corny but the new year has got me thinking and I really appreciate this blog because this is pretty much the only site/community/fandom where I don't stress out over posting every single thing I post, afraid I'll be shit on for... something (my brain is very good at coming up with hypotheticals). I know, I know I'm way too sensitive and i shouldn't care about what others think and the internet isn't real so it doesn't matter etc. etc. but unfortunately I just don't know how to get my brain to work like that. I mean, I'm still too afraid of being cringe to draw/write/yap about everything I'd hypothetically like to, but I've been way more social and open to posting my thoughts on here than I've ever been before, and it's made me more confident online overall. So thank you all for being so welcoming and chill!

[bacchuschucklefuck]

Can you expand on what you mean by Baron being "too cool" to really fit a horror monster? It's a very interesting concept and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Is it that they're too active/involved/tangible and it detracts from their scariness?

I feel like I should preface this with a wall of disclaimers lmao 1/I am a hardcore, down-to-the-marrow, avid, deeply sincere horror enthusiast, esp. horror creatures. this usually means my mileage is vastly different from the average populace's, and my scaredy bone has been disintegrated by longterm exposure. most things in a piece of horror media won't scare me! so I practically never use that on its own as the scale to talk abt horror experiences, but when something does scare me it's always a special occasion to be treasured. 2/canon d20 is never really meant to be horror horror, and for good reasons: it doesn't fit the company's output, it takes a kind of carelessness in production estimation that is always a huge risk, it's often vulnerable in a way that kinda goes against how TTRPGs usually facilitates vulnerability, and for most people it's just! stressful! d20, even with the "horror-themed" seasons, generally just plays with horror tropes and stays focused in its goal of being a comedy improv tabletop theater show. 3/fantasy high's chosen system is DnD, which as I've mentioned before is before all a combat-based game system, which means the magic circle of play is drawn based on stats that facilitate and prioritize combat. want or not this affects every interaction you have in the game, and given fantasy high's concept from the ground up (everyone's going to school of DnD stuff to get better at DnD) it's doubly relevant. 4/This Is Fine I have no quarrel with this. my meters are internal, I do not ask this show to be anything it doesn't advertise itself to be, and what it is is fucking great! I like it! when I expand on this ask's question it will be like a physicist going insane in a lab. that's the mindset we're going in with.

disclaimers done. my stance on horror as a genre is that it's a utility genre rather than a content genre or a demographic genre; it is the discard of narratives. it's the trash pile. horror, above being scary, is about being ugly and messy, it's the cracks on the ground any story inevitably steps over to stay a genre that isn't horror. the genre's been around long enough to develop a codex and a general language that medias and makers and enthusiasts of the genre can use to talk about and build onto, but if you go into individual pieces there's really no unifying Horror Story. one person's beautiful life can be another's horror story, it's just how it is.

this makes The Monster a deeply intriguing piece of the genre. thing is a monster is in a decent percentage of any story - it's just when the antagonist force steps into something past a certain line traced out in the story's world. monstrousness is in pretty much every western fantasy story, it's in any story with a hero and something to vanquish or win; more than anything it's a proxy of that thing up there. the line in a narrative's world. the monster is the guard of the unknown lands, where heroic, civilized people don't tread.

what does this mean in the context of horror? the genre is about that perceived lawlessness, that "unknown land" so to say. we're in the monster's home. that's the literary context that we often walk into a horror piece with; the monster knows more than you about where you are. it may not understand you, but it holds more information than you, and with that it moves swifter than you, has more covered than you, and is more assured in its existence in this context than you. it's a struggle to catch up to it, it's nigh impossible to get one over it, and you're never sure it'll 100% work, because you just don't have the information necessary to.

with that framing you can kinda see where I'm coming from here: horror's often about the breaking of rules. I always think a monster's most effective when it breaks well-established rules of both existence and visual storytelling. think Possum (2018) or Undertale's Omega Flowey or the Xenomorph Queen - unique change in medium, unique change in graphic, unique change in design language, etc. in that sense I actually really like how canon baron plays out: they don't really function like anything else in the fantasy high universe, the bad kids have not managed to kill them when they've felled literal gods, their domain in fhjy literally introduces new mechanics to encompass their existence! from an experience design standpoint they slap mad shit. BUT! I can't help finding their character, like as a character riz (and the other bad kids, eventually) interact with, to be very... coherent? in design. this is kinda hard for me to articulate in words, it's more often a sense you get once you've looked at enough of these scrumptious fuckers, their general design and the way they show up is just kinda too clean, so to say. always kinda newly made? fresh unboxed. it, once again, makes sense for their lore - they are looking for more about themself from riz - and their function - they're an antagonist in a game experience, they're meant to be interacted with in a way that produces results and meshes with the existing magic circle - but that shininess takes away from the implied history they should have dominion over and the person they're haunting doesn't.

from another angle there is kinda something there about how put-together canon baron is as a concept; the domain they call home is riz's deep-seeded fears, extremely vulnerable things he's drawn borders around to quarantine and refused to walk into. things that from his perspective would irreversibly shatter certain pleasant fictions his world is built on top of. canon baron, While Extremely Cool, I feel is kinda too neat to connect with and signify the apocalyticized mess that'd result from this paradigm shift. the part where they're in riz's briefcase and looking through every mirror is Very Cool And Fucked Up! but ultimately the show draws a line around them as well, by making game-physical, tangible spaces they're in (the mirrors and the haunted mordred manor) and put riz and the bad kids there only when they need to confront stuff. riz is meaningfully narratively away from baron's unknown land for most of fantasy high.

with that and all of my disclaimers in mind my conclusion here is if canon baron wants to be a Horror Monster they'd have to cross way more lines. be a Lot more invasive. hence (holds up my class swap baron like a long cat)

[ai-the-broccoli]

aaghh I hate health anxiety ocd (or whatever you call it), it's literally doing nothing other than contributing to make my health worse

... wait actually, does anyone have like, tips/advice for that kind of thing? I really think I need some help with this one

[bluesidedown]

Gratitude time

[astralhope]

After beating E'Rah, Astral realize what his real mission was and the sacrifice he had to do.

And this was the moment where he accepted it.

He accepted to sacrifice himself, not only because that was his mission, but also because doing that would protect what he learned to love and cherish.

He was able to accept it with a smile because doing that would have protected Yuma and his friends.

But he didn't know that Yuma also had learned Astral's true mission, while they were in Zexal form.

And Yuma couldn't accept it. He couldn't let Astral sacrifice himself. After everything they went through, how could their story end like this?

[raytm]

SEVEN DEADLY SINS.

bold   —   always  applies. italic   —   sometimes  applies. strike  —   never  applies  /  hard  limit.

𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐓. desire for connection, pursuit of pleasure, emotional intelligence, obsessive, lovesick, one-night stand, seductive encounter, flirtatious conversation, erotic party, seductive attire, revealing clothing, passionate gaze, provocative makeup, sensual expressions, suggestive gestures, flirtatious smiles, lingerie, love letters, perfumes, provocative behavior, love poems, erotic art

𝐄𝐍𝐕𝐘. motivation, competitive spirit, strategic planning, observational skills, bitter, rivalry contest, envious gossip, resentment-filled argument, social media jealousy, furrowed brows, clenched jaws, side-eye looks, pursed lips, tense posture, whispering behind backs, crossed arms, gossip magazines, keeping up with the Joneses, the grass is always greener, feeling inadequate

𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐃. resourcefulness, entrepreneurial spirit, negotiation, materialistic, aggressive investment, lavish spending spree, resource hoarding, get-rich-quick scheme, auction bidding war, property acquisition, piles of money, overflowing wallets, luxury items, locked safes, penny-pinching, rare collectibles, selfishness, unwillingness to share

𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐇. calmness, stress management, nonchalance, relaxation techniques, lethargic, apathetic, inactive, lazy weekend, binge-watching marathon, neglected chores, skipped workout, long nap, lounging on the couch, missed deadline, unkempt appearance, messy hair, pajamas, blankets, slippers, procrastination station, self-care routines

𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐄. confidence, self-assurance, self-respect, dignity, public speaking, self-promotion, arrogant, conceited, egotistical, self-important, vain, boastful speech, puffed chest, raised chin, smug smiles, spotlight, tooting your own horn, showing off, refusing to admit mistakes, feeling entitled, personal branding, leadership development

𝐖𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐇. assertiveness, decisiveness, strength, intensity, boundary setting, courage, indignant, heated argument, road rage incident, physical altercation, angry outburst, clenched fists, glaring eyes, tense muscles, raised voices, reddened faces, aggressive gestures, stormy demeanor, intense frowns, destructive actions, broken objects, punching bag, out for blood, fists, simmering anger

tagged by : i stole it /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ tagging : take it from me !

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

Alrighty! <—has been saying this word on loop during my retail job I’m kinda sick of it now but I don’t really know how to stop saying it so! it stays! LIST TIME!!!

To-Do Tomorrow:

wake up early enough to get shower before work

print out ticket for a play that one of my friends is in that I am going to see :)

seek out a Ruler so that I can make measurements & decide what sized items I would like to buy [Friend pin & Ghostbur magnets]

if I have time/energy I shall aim to accomplish these things as well:

text two friends

respond to another friend’s messages

finish tagging the autism posts I’ve reblogged (I tagged about half today it was So fun)

reblog spotify wrapped posts + answer spotify wrapped asks :)

read some books

[sailforvalinor]

…well, turns out changing to a Jo pfp is fitting in more ways than one.

[the-small-cimarron-paparazzi]

Do I dare think it: Saralegui's old quest of spotting patterns and getting power and being actually excellent at what he does just think about the background made up of the first 4 volumes i say this as a fan but this is horror has factually surreptitiously ended when canon happens (actually when Carolia Arc happens)--and not even snapped but has achieved a visible ending though not one he's had in mind--and he actually has a lot of free time/agency on hand from being freed up from that box-finding-efficiency and that free time is the next journey.

Yes I say free time. Not even the freedom of making choices about the future outside of any influence from other wills and persons, which is secretly only getting to become my privately reached conclusion this year (slow reader. though I finally managed time-that-counts to finish the jpn canon! congrats to self) on where the canon might be headed.

Still can't get over how Yuu-chan's skillset is entirely order made from Shinou (which means Thematic and which means possibly Saralegui as the other side might also have something along these lines, which would very well likely be what has the chance to have been planned between Alazon and Gilbert. You can definitely see e.g. none of these 2 are thinking about other heirs: the twins being human-shinzoku/shinzoku-human is entirely plot-important, and also not just what the twins themselves have in mind cf. MA-Song.) which certainly means Shinou is really trying to do something unthinkable (not in a bad sense), like getting meta and not treating Yuu-chan's people skills as the amiable, peaceful bless it is but something to wash the world off what he doesn't think should be there with. Like what happens and is a bit likely to be taken seriously by Saralegui and maybe so forced into reality in MA-Box.

Somehow I don't think that's above or beneath Shinou. He would have very thinking-out-of-the-box-no-i-was-never-in-the-box capacities, being the shinso of mazokus/chaotic aligners + also being plausibly good at war (at least very drawn to war). Down the line it could very well be the reader's heart being torn between "OK Shinou does his war and not even in a way Kenja would object to so this is good...?" and "but kindness is not seen as kindness but so Used from somewhere above the board that's bound to be something not too good....?". With Yuu-chan's views and reactions being what might resolve the whole dilemma (I trust sensei).

But ofc all assumptions, and not to be taken too seriously. Except by me...this haunts me....

[regulargoose]

My parents won't stop asking me about applying to jobs. I cant take this anymore. I need to go and sit in the woods for a thousand years.

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Wondering if I feel weird about jobs bc I have almost exclusively worked high stress high turnover jobs