#and i see no end in sight for the show
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the most beautiful thing about stories is that they end
#youd think this was profound but it’s actually just because i learned that theres gonna be a moana 2#and like toy story however many and a frozen something#but anyway yes its sad! yes its hard to say goodbye! but that is part of the beauty!#with goodbyes comes new faces#and thats so exciting#nothing good lasts forever because it *shouldnt*#things run their course#do i wish there was a sequel to prince and the dressmaker? yeah sure!#but the story ended and it serves its purpose#when things dont end they lose their meaning i think#also kinda why i dont like the whol new plot line in dr who#the doctor’s whole thing is that endings are hard but we push through them because we must#and i see no end in sight for the show#do i want there to be another season of hannibal? sure#but i dont think there should be one#but anyway like atp disney is just making fanfiction of its own stuff#and im so tired of it#rambles
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emma dupain cheng on the brain😽🎀
more:
#ml#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#my art#emma dupain cheng#emma agreste#(i think that may the more popular tag for her lol. she is a dupain cheng in my heart though)#plagg#she is thirteen almost fourteen here btw. because i love circularity#emma dupain cheng to me is like. what if emilie or adrien grew up in a stable home with no trauma. that’s emma#and she is theater kid✨#and adrien and marinette are soooo so so supportive and love going to her shows and are so proud of her#/marinette has to be held back from trying to manipulate the school play casting process to secure emma the lead every year#but then emma sets her sights on bigger things(broadway west end)#and adrien pumps the breaks big time#and he’s so torn between supporting her interests and wanting so badly to keep her from like. being a child actor. having a job. b#being pulled from school#and emma gets upset bc he is standing in the way of her dreams#and they fight about it:(#and then emma discovers plagg and convinces him to help her sneak out and go to her callback that she secretly auditioned for#(and forged all the parent signatures for lol)#and. well. plagg CAN be bribed#and also she just reminds him so much of baby adrien🤧 he is a softie#and she runs away to her callback. and adrien and marinette wake up the next morning and see on the news that there is a new chat noir.#anyway. not that i’ve thought about it or anything
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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So what I'm hearing it that last twilight actually ended at ep 10 and I don't need to get caught up :))))
#i cannot believe#2024 and we're still miraculously healing disabilities as a happy ending????#and as an afterthought?? you dont even get to see day regain his sight and deal with the emotional weight of that??#ending this almost amazing show like it's an episode of 7th heaven jesus#last twilight#is anyone happy with this ending
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Watching Wayward Pines for potential ST5 inspo bc the Duffers wrote a couple episodes in s1, and when I got to their second (last) episode and their name crossed the screen, I noticed a visual parallel that might already exist on the show…
Recognize it??
It instantly reminded me of that last shot for the opening of s3, with the landscape peaking out behind the Russian base. But when I went back and actually compared the two, holy shit it’s near identical, and not just the landscape.
I didn’t even remember the helicopter being there on the left, not to mention the pillar-esaue contraption at the center. Like… they’re the same picture.!
With them being credited right at that moment, it’s obvious this was an intentional nod to their previous work.
I just thought it was cool so I wanted to share, but in terms of my watch overall, there is a LOT going on that they could pull from. I’m only halfway through s1, though I’ve heard the show goes downhill in s2 so we’ll see how that goes 😂
#byler#stranger things#wayward pines#st inspo#st5 predictions#spoilers I guess?#matt dillon is a secret service agent and when fellow agents go missing#he goes to find them and ends up in an accident himself#and wakes up in wayward pines#and no matter what he does he can’t reach anyone on the outside nor leave#people around him seem to be playing along with this sort of Truman show lifestyle of pretending everything is fine#then he runs into one of the agents who went missing also his ex-mistres#carla gugino my beloved#and she’s also playing along#bc they kind of have to otherwise they will be killed#little does Matt Dillon know his wife and kid on the outside are worried because he went missing#they go looking for him and end up in wayward pines too#wayward pines is actually really chill in retrospect bc you get a free house when you arrive#but the whole being trapped and not explained what’s going on and treated like your crazy part makes it hard to see the positives#and just when you think this whole town is an experiment#it is!!#but also not because they have any other choice really#turns out humans devolved into this creature referred to as abbies and they basically take over the world killing everything in sight#a scientist predicted this and managed to launch an experiment where he basically kidnapped a bunch of people and froze them from aging#to live safely in the future over 2000 years later in this confined town#where very few know the truth#the town being an experiment aspect intrigues me in terms of all the surveillance in Hawkins…#also random but the main kid on the show has an uncanny resemblance to the duffers despite no relation and it’s freaky 😂
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I should never go into fucking tv tropes but like they keep talking as if Jack's main feelings for Lacie and thus his motivating factor is hate and that's just wrong, he would not want to leave flowers on her grave if hate what's all there is to it. It's as wrong as saying that his motivation is love.
Jack meets Lacie when he's at his lowest and has no reason to go on, after becoming enchanted with her one evening he holds onto meeting her again as his reason to live. This initial affection was genuine, if idealized but kinda became warped the longer Jack spent with that as his sole focus. What's more, in order to meet her again, Jack sold his body, lied, cheated and murdered so he became disgusted with himself, and on top of that he became so adept at playing a facade he couldn't even tell what his own feelings were anymore.
As he says, this made him resent Lacie, but the key part is what he says after, that he knows that that hatred is genuine. Whether is the longing for Lacie, the feeling of contentment at being at her side, or the resentment he feels for his dependence on her all of those are things "Jack" genuinely feels. He doesn't love her, but he needs her to make sense of himself. What Jack wants most of all is to live and for that he needs Lacie.
(And remember, one of the things that makes Jack lash out is being called out on his own emptiness and lack of self)
When he's with her, he's at peace. He doesn't need to get too close to her, and really, that would probably just drive her away. But that's also why he doesn't lash out or despair when she's gone, he cannot make sense of himself anymore so he becomes an empty husk.
So when he gets the idea of delivering the world to her in the abyss, that's something he would like to do for her, because she genuinely meant something for him. He doesn't care about dooming everyone else for it, or rather it doesn't register to him if he cares so this is the only thing he has to live for left. And Jack wants to live.
#the sad thing is that we the readers can tell Jack cares about other people#but it does not reach Jack#Pandora Hearts is a show about connection people grow thanks to multiple others#but Jack became so focused on one person he lost sight of everyone else#he is so detached from his own self he can't even see he is sad that oswald dies#and you know deep down what jack really wanted most was for someone to see him#i think that's why he confessed to Arthur#and at the end Alyss does see him for who he is
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#Fifteen episode 2. Mmmmmmhhhhhh#The animation quality DOES get worse. This episode shows it lol#So many static frames stretching for so long... I feel so sorry for the animators.#I still stand by the fact that if studios can't provide enough budget or time to their animators seasons simply shouldn't be released.#But after all who am I to talk...#The scene of Dazai shooting at the soldier makes my blood freeze. Rimbaud throwing books in the fire is equally upsetting#Like I /know/ it's an anime about literature with constant metafiction references–#and that this too has a symbolic meaning and is *supposed* to be upsetting but that said.#Seeing whole books being thrown in the fire is such a disturbing sight that calls for such a visceral response in me 😭😭😭#The amv opening is nice! Makes me even more bitter about season 5 one lmao. Of the kind#“not only we had to get a amv opening (((while we deserved a wholly ss/kk focused opening)))‚ we even got a bad amv ending at that”#Mmmmhhhh I hateeeeeee how they handled the Sheep 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Seriously this is just another bug instance of#“me and the author have WHOLLY different views of what human nature is like”#I just... Don't think... Children joining together in an hostile environment would act like that. I'm so much more of a t/pn kind of guy.#Children who come together to survive would protect each other and especially would trust each other. Why is there such a big lack of trust#Why doesn't Shirase trust Chuuya? Why doesn't Chuuya trust Shirase (with handling more information)? It's just dumb#It's dumb. It sounds stupid from the very plot aspect that Chuuya would act so shady and suspicious with the Sheep instead of being open–#about what his course of action is. It's like he was trying to have them turn on him. It's stupid of Shirase to mistrust Chuuya–#when in eight years he never gave them any reason to doubt of him.#And I know right as I'm writing this that someone is going to read it and think “you're completely missing on the unbalance of power that–#creates these dynamics of lack of trust” but the thing is exactly that I don't see why that unbalance of power would ever come to be!#They're all just kids. They're aware of that. If Chuuya never had malicious intentions towards Shirase‚ I don't see why he would ever fear–#his betrayal. Likewise‚ I don't see why Shirase and the other Sheep members would ever be so manipulative and disrespectful towards–#Chuuya if he's been nothing but kind to them (and we have no reason to think otherwise)?#It all comes down to: I think people are inherently good and willing to help each other. The author thinks not lmao. It is what it is#But I wish you could see t/pn. Where kids are constantly trying to outwit each other in order to OUT-SACRIFICE THEMSELVES for the others lo#I love t/pn it's my life... I miss it#random rambles#And if anyone would like to argue that Dazai specifically set them off to betray each other... Yes I DO understand that's what the story–#is suggesting. I just don't think Dazai - for how good. and infallible he is - is enough to scrape long-term relationships of trust.
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Okay, call me whatever names but-
Has anyone ever felt sad that their WOY OC isn't actually canon, but think to yourself that they would've had the chance to be one by the show producer at one point but like- you beat them to it and now you think you might've screwed them over cause they would've been real in like 6 years later?
#chewys notes#wander over yonder#woy#woy ocs#Only thinking about this cause of how much I've been thinking about sharp sight x killbot 86#genuinely make me happy to see them being lovey dovey with each other#ESPECIALLY SINCE KILLBOT 86 HAS NO ONE#HE DESERVED SOMEONE TO LOVE#but like#i ended up beating the show producer to it and now it like-#damn#You screwed them over didn't you? 😭#not to sound im on a high horse#But it just that i genuinely really fucking love killbot 86#I wanted sharp sight to be united with him and be forever in love#Like genuinely#i know that people hate oc x canon out there#But PLEASE understand that maybe we can make an expectation for character who barely get any attention??#like they had no character or background to them#Pls pls PLS understand how obsessed i am with wanting killbot 86 and sharp sight to be together just so Killbot 86 can be happy#just random ramblings#woy oc#sharp sight#oh my fucking god#killbot 86
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obx spoilers ahead!!
I'm so conflicted about the season 4 ending because on one hand I get it. life is unfair, it's unrealistic to give all of your characters happy endings, especially if said characters are constantly putting themselves in danger. it makes sense that not everyone survives four seasons of near-death experiences like being held hostage, getting shot at, almost drowning etc. on the other hand I can't help but be bitter that the person who had been abused/mistreated their entire life and who was clearly suffering was the one who had to die. at the hands of his biological father, may I add. I’ve seen some people say JJ was annoying this season and I get where they’re coming from, but all of his impulsive decisions and everything that happened at/after the town meeting just made me sad. he was struggling so much that he didn’t care what happened to him or if he lived or died. all he wanted was a future where he could live with his friends in their own little paradise without a care in the world. with the money from the crown and shoupe’s promise, it seemed like he was so close to happiness and inner peace, but they didn’t let him have that. so yeah, I get why they did this, but that doesn’t make it less upsetting.
#yeah I know it’s not that deep and it’s fictional#I just wanted to put my two cents in ig#I know they all had issues with their parents#not one good parental figure in sight (except pope’s parents tbh)#but jj’s story hit me the hardest#I’ve seen some people say that he was suicidal in s4#and I remember thinking multiple times throughout the season that he was depressed or at least extemely sad/hurt by. well. everything#so that’s what I mean when I say he was struggling (did this even need explaining idk)#there's also something to be said about the “realism” of this show lmao#rafe holding that giant cross by himself? sarah resurrecting after a fatal shot wound? sarah and jj not drowning in that storm?#those are just a couple of examples of how unrealistic this show is#yes it's entertaining but I think we can all agree that a lot of the shit that happened on the show would never work out irl lmao#so I feel like if your show is that unrealistic you can actually afford to give everyone a happy ending#also I just think that it would’ve been nice for abuse survivors/people with mental health problems to see that life can get better#but that’s a whole other tangent#also do not get me started on the fact that rafe was the one to bury him#obx spoilers#outer banks spoilers#outer banks season 4#obx#outer banks#jj maybank#john b routledge#sarah cameron#kiara carrera#pope heyward#cleo anderson#abuse mention#laura yaps#I wrote this at night pls excuse any spelling/grammar mistakes I’m tired
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No but Day overcame his obstacles and Mork still has his to overcome. He needs to learn that Day will be ok alone and that he can let go sometimes and what happened with his sister won’t happen again 🥺
i get it, really, i do. it's not like i don't understand why p'aof went down this road and the character motivations behind it, i just.. deeply dislike break ups ;;;;;;
i think they're such a cheap and overused plot device, an easy way to add some (unnecessary) angst that most of the times is due to miscommunication that hasn't been built throughout the show but it's forced on the characters just for drama. honestly p'aof gets many things right but im afraid this is the one thing i will always have beef with him on: i don't believe people need to get separated to grow. i think there's so much more value in telling a story where conflict is overcome together and where characters choose to actually never let go of each other's hands despite all the issues and misunderstandings that happen in all kind of relationships. and i think there was a way to explore mork's trauma and make him come to terms with it and let both mork and day grow into their own person while still being together
but im aware im being very overdramatic ;;;;; maybe i just need some time to process the episode and hopefully i will eventually feel better about everything!!!!
#i really do apologize for not liking this 😞#there's also the fact that at this point im pretty sure they're gonna give day his sight back at the very end of the show#because otherwise the entire eye donation part wouldn't make sense#so im a bit dejected but yeah we'll see#please forgive me ;;;;;;;;#m: ask
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EPISODE 2 AND 3 HAVE BEEN SOOOO FUN im already so emotionally attached to each of these characters.. if anything bad ever happens to any of them im killing everyone and then everyone.
#cw blood#cw vomiting#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#ARTHUR BENNETS DRY HUMOR IS SOOO FUCKIN FUNNY OH MY GOOODDD the sleepin upside down bit omg..#i love drawing him with just the same stoic expression. he is a stone cold pillar of ice to me. one that loves his little kitty kittyyyyy#i loved watching him work with emizel aswell the dynamic is SOO FUN#I LOVE THAT EMIZEL IS SO FOND OF CATS TOO LIKE RAAAHH THATS SO SWEET.. pepper is his favorite cat....#the part with him defending pepper was SO CUTE UGHH i love emizel he is so small and sharp and pointy AND YET#there is LOVE IN THAT BOYS MOSTLY DEAD HEART I TEEELLL YOU HWAT!!! and in other news:#i love love love the concept of 'royal shut-in gets lost in the big city' MY BABY BOY SHILOOO I ADORE HIMMMM#AND DEACON WAS SOOOO NICE TO HIM givin him a place to stay n helpin him dress up for the party and taking him around town to see the sights#im in love with deacon i love him soooo much. AND ALSO. ABOUT SHILO.#HE CAN EAT FOOOOOD LIKE SURE THE GARLIC GOT HIM BUT WE GGOOOTTA GIVE HIM A MILKSHAKE OR SMTH#LIKE I THOUGHT IN THE FIRST EPISODE WHEN HE SIPPED SODY N NOTHING HAPPENED. I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUSTA FLUKE#BUT NO ITS A PATTERN ITSA PATTERN HE CAN EAT FOOD!!! BABY BOY CAN EAT FOOOD!!!!!!! FEED HIM MORE FOOD!!! food is the best human creation#I HOPE MORE GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO THESE BOYS. especially since. well. okay so ive seen the 4th episode. sigh.#like holy fuck. hey ep4? what the fuck? hey you just let that happen? what the fuck. what the FUCK. EPISODE 4. HEY WHAT THE FUCK#THAT DIDNT NEED TO HAPPEN. OH MY GOD. THIS BETTER END WELL. IN TWO WEEKS I KNOW YALLRE GONNA BE SCREAMIN TOO BC OHHH MY GLOD. WHAT THE FUCK#EPSIDOE FOUR STILL HAS ME FUCKED UP SO BAD OH MY GOD. I WILL NEVER BE OVER IT. HOLY SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. WHYYYYYY. NOOOOOOO!
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Found out what happened in jjk
#not to be that guy but you know what vibes im getting? madara vibes#like. the villain who just keeps getting away with destroying everyone and its just getting crazier and crazier and theres no end in sight#anyways. we will see how this goes ig#if an alien shows up or it turns out yuji is a reincarnation of some powerful guy from sukunas time. well!#jk i dont think it will be that bad
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Tag drop: Guizhong (don't mind me re-dropping this with the fixed ones, shh)
#guizhong. [ many things only seem to surface beneath the moon's poignant glow. wherever its light shines; the heart is wont to follow. ]#guizhong: ic. [ wherever her spirit may be among the countless grains of sand and specks of dust between the harbor and the mountains. ]#guizhong: countenance. [ and because they are afraid; they try so hard to become more intelligent. this i understand. ]#guizhong: introspection. [ although she did not live to see the splendid sights of today: she was as much a hero as any other. ]#guizhong: meta. [ her manuscripts lie unfinished in her abode. the blank pages give cause for contemplation on what might have been. ]#guizhong: little notes. [ she always sought to make everyone happy and one must say: she had quite the gift for it. ]#guizhong: wishes. [ it took a treasure hunt just to preserve the commandments that were once the lifeblood of a whole civilization. ]#guizhong: etc. [ we think of human life as like a lantern that's lit one minute and extinguished the next. but are we adepti so different?#guizhong: mortals. [ at their full potential; they could be her equal. a human who has as much to teach an adeptus as to learn from them. ]#guizhong: guili plains. [ as guizhong once said: “it takes every blade of grass and every flower to make a homeland.” ]#guizhong: liyue. [ perhaps she will look at the liyue of today and steal a smile when she sees the prosperous land that it has become. ]#guizhong: realm of clouds. [ a voyage to a sanguine sky. ]#guizhong: mechanical arts. [ in one's heart; i knew that she was indeed the superior talent in the mechanical arts. ]#guizhong: glaze lilies. [ they were far more abundant back then. the entire fields would appear to the eye as a veritable sea of flowers. ]#guizhong: adepti. [ until the moon set and the sun rose. and only then would the banquet finally come to an end. ]#guizhong: morax. [ whoever it was that revered her so much was very clever indeed. ]#guizhong: guili. [ with shortness of breath; i will explain the infinite. and how rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist. ] delusiona#guizhong: marchosius. [ who would dare snub the stove god and his wondrous creations? at the sight: we would all drop any argument. ]#guizhong: streetward rambler. [ it almost felt like she was back again. sitting right there on the stone stool next to me; chatting away. ]#guizhong: cloud retainer. [ we each had our ideals; and neither one of us would yield to the other. ]#guizhong: skybracer. [ to who lived by the mountain; he was their savior. they thought higher of him than they thought of the lord of geo.#guizhong: osial. [ she would disrupt the silence around them with a hum; as if to sing along to the harmony of water. was this his song? ]#guizhong: sea gazer. [ he was quite the braggart when it came to those collectibles he was so fond of; he always loved to show them off. ]#guizhong: ganyu. [ if we planted flowers in the guili plains; do you think that one day we'd be able to recreate the sea of glaze lilies? ]#guizhong: v. descension. [ she descended whose dominion was over dust; and whose reach shrouded the skies for thousands of miles around. ]#guizhong: v. guili assembly. [ it's great to have it back but i want to go back to the world. and start with guili plains. ]#guizhong: v. archon war. [ they fought upon the plains; where black dust choked the heavens and a thousand rocks splintered. ]#guizhong: v. present. [ all wrapped up in a city that has existed for many moons to date. all these things: they are why people chase it. ]#guizhong: inquiries. [ hmph. she always had a way with words. ]
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Ive spent most of yesterday doing all my uni stuff for finals and a couple hours today too, and I should be doing much more, but I can actually feel my brain giving out on me rn. Im starting to develop a headache and that's very much Not ideal. I have A Lot to do and not a lot of time to do it, ughh...
Forcing usually doesn’t work on me though, so even though my anxiety will prob have a field day, I guess I'll try to take a break, maybe play some Skyrim, maybe write a lil' more fanfic if my head feels better, and who knows, if in the evening it feels up to it, I can try to add some more to that big project Im trying to finish or start on a presentation for a different class. Either would be nice, but if its not possible tonight, then I guess I just gotta hope taking a break today will help me get back at it tomorrow.
Here's to hoping!
#personal#Raksh's studying adventures#uni stuff#Raksh posts#Im not even gonna think about my thesis#gotta write to my supervisor prof about it tomorrow#tell her where I am with it and ask about a deadline because I might not make it#and whats her outlook on that#I doubt she'll refuse to pass if if we have anything to show for the chapter but still better to ask#for my own anxiety levels at least#ugh today is not a good day#and the time is running out but oh well#life I guess#there's stormy clouds outside but so far no rain and quite hot and humid#so that might be contributing to me feeling unwell#Im not good with changing weather#especially if its in this weird inbetween state#when it hopefully finally rains it should get better for me but we'll see#for now Im gonna hop into Skyrim and my new save#(bcs I could with EE Kaidan anymore and had to go back to the OG version with some ooold voice addons)#(where they were still just the OG lines that were not working - I think - and some fixes to the og mod)#plus Im actually trying to RP more rn#kinda with my fic in mind 😂#so Im starting with the Thevies Guild and making my way towards Kaidan more 'naturally'#and I'll go into the main story after I get him ^^#anyway gonna end the rambles here#and go relax to the sounds and sights of Skyrim ^^
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From a very young age, Kaeya held such a fondness for handholding. Whether it was his father clinging tightly to him to make sure he didn’t get lost, Adelinde’s gentle, grounding hand closed over his to comfort him whenever his nerves got the better of him, Crepus’s rough-palmed, firm yet comforting grip as he brought him back home, or, as it was most often of all, Diluc’s warm, yet at times uncomfortably tight hold as he dragged him anywhere, everywhere, determined to always keep Kaeya close and eagerly show him all there was to see, Kaeya treasured the gesture greatly.
Of course, being as shy as he was, initiating it himself was always the harder part. So much so, he would tend to hold pinkies, rather than outright take a person’s hand in his own. Eventually, it would become his most common way to go about the gesture of affection.
#hc; kaeya#//Handholding is one of his favorite ways of affection bc 1) it’s not too overwhelming when it comes to his touch aversion#//The sensation is all focused in one spot; and even then; it’s more grounding than uncomfortable bc of how firm people’s grasp tends to be#//He really took to holding pinkies bc he realized he could ‘test’ people that way#//If it was a bother to them; they wouldn’t blink twice before moving their hand from his hold. so rejection isn’t as BIG; more subtle#//And if they Liked it; they could either accept it as is or make him happier and take firmer hold of his hand#//Once he was more confident; he would go straight to more outright handholding. Klee ofc got that RIGHT from the getgo. Bc she is smol &#liked him from the start. Even if her Pyro energy did make him uncomfortable at first; but he got used to it. for her#//Luc made it easy to go right to it to—the kid would always seem to know when he wanted to hold hands for whatever reason and grabbed hold#before Kae could link pinkies. kae did like the fact that Luc would Pout the few times Kae did link pinkies instead of hold hands#//Pout; & snatch his hand firmly in his like ‘Why did you do that? THIS way’s better’. Love the image of bby!Kae grabbing bby!Luc’s sleeves#but lbr; they deffo held hands a lot as kiddos. Bc we all know just how (canonically) indulging Luc is with whatever Kae wants. Once Luc#//figured him out; it was a Very common sight; seeing Luc tromping around like the proud lil protector he was; & Kae scurrying after him#//Lil subtle delighted gleams in his eye compared to Luc’s more overt confidence and joy. So common a sight; it was no surprise that#Kae was Deffo distressed when Luc inevitably grew out of it. Adjusted; yeah; but the sudden Change was deffo NOT good for his nerves#//Clung to Addie a lot to make up for it; until he heard the maids tittering abt how childish he was being#//He quit that FAST; finding other ways to stave off his nerves and show his affection#//Sometimes when he’s drunk at Angel’s Share; he gets tempted to hold Luc’s hand—an old habit dredged back up bc he wants comfort#//But any sudden moves Luc makes; whether bc he noticed Kae reaching out or not; utterly scare the urge away every time#//He’s made his peace with Luc resenting him; but it still stings that the ONE person he felt closest to is now practically a Chasm away#//Not like he helps any with that; running away or lashing out every time Luc tries to bridge gaps or shows concern#//Sends him into fight or flight mode every time—who’s to say Kae won’t fuck it up and make a Luc regret trying?#//Might as well sabotage it all himself—at least THEN he knows with utmost certainty it will end failure. Whoops veered off topic#//The closer he is to someone; the more likely he ends up toying with their hands a bit—esp if Interested in them#//Likes playing with their fingers; linking; unlinking and slotting them together; tracing lines on their palms#//Cute shit like that. He likes seeing how they fit together; the differences in size and how they feel#//This was all bc I saw a detail from a show pointed out on the Twitter ndnfn. And thought the pinkie thing was SO cute. Anywho#//Hi. Shit happened irl & I am still not 100%. Not saying what bc it’s not a pleasant topic; but know I am ok#//Just a lil tired. But kinda wanna hcs for rn. I had a lil burst of energy earlier today. that was nice. Over a long dead show; no less#//But it helped lift my mood a bit. I still kinda wish I could drink rn tho. Think it’d help my brain rn
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My most interacted with fics:
Cocky Bastard Vibes (Zhongli)
Tipsy Tales (Anemo boys)
Why He Rejected You (pt 1)
Telling Them Off (Ayato, Venti, Xiao)
A Sight to Behold (Yae Miko)
Obvious (Neuvillette)
Simple (Alhaitham)
What Destiny Has Brought (Fischl)
Why He Rejected You (pt 2)
Blasphemous Assumptions (Zhongli)
#personal#cocky bastard vibes is the least surprising thing on this list. it's the fic that convinced me to turn off my notifications haha#if you're a fan of this fic tho you can expect the spiritual sequel to be getting posted as the next chapter in the bookkeeping!series#tipsy tales is also not surprising. tumblr really likes low effort posts like those#i'd really love to expand on xiao and the traveler's one someday#why he rejected you (pt 1) shocked me when i first posted it because i expected people to hate it haha#i posted it to make a point because i was feeling petty at some of the character portrayal i was seeing#another reason i was shocked is bc pt 2 has all the popular characters but did worse than pt 1#i thought itd be reversed#telling them off is really shocking tho bc other than the ayato fic the other two fics SUCK HAHA#venti's is barely anything and xiao's portrayal is SO BAD. 'secret identities' is a way better portrayal of him#a sight to behold is also shocking because the genshin fandom on tumblr only like men#this fic is my most self-indulgent of them all because i am a SIMP. i really like the sequel to this fic tho#for 'obvious' every time i read that fic i'm surprised at how decent the ending is bc i fully admit i rushed it#but it's a typical romance (atypical for me) so it's not surprising it's on here#'SIMPLE' PISSES ME OFF. THAT FIC DOES NOT DESERVE THAT MANY NOTES. made me so mad 😡#'what destiny has brought' tho... that's the most shocking. like don't get me wrong it's a good fic but.... FISCHL??????#fun fact i literally cannot stand fischl. she's so irritating. i wrote that fic bc i couldn't stand the ending to her summer fantasia event#'she truly became fischl' BUT SHE'S LITERALLY NOT FISCHL??? she's living a lie???#she pretends to be someone else because she hates herself so much. instead of encouraging her delusions shouldnt we like???#give her some self-esteem and show her amy is worthy of love?#BUT THAT'S JUST ME#anyway 'blasphemous assumptions' is not surprising. it's not my favorite but it's definitely of the funnier in the bookkeeping series#out of all these fics 'what destiny has brought' and 'obvious' are my recommendations#one day i wanna do my lowest ranking fics because those are my favorite
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