#so I feel like if your show is that unrealistic you can actually afford to give everyone a happy ending

[lauraisakilljoy]

obx spoilers ahead!!

I'm so conflicted about the season 4 ending because on one hand I get it. life is unfair, it's unrealistic to give all of your characters happy endings, especially if said characters are constantly putting themselves in danger. it makes sense that not everyone survives four seasons of near-death experiences like being held hostage, getting shot at, almost drowning etc. on the other hand I can't help but be bitter that the person who had been abused/mistreated their entire life and who was clearly suffering was the one who had to die. at the hands of his biological father, may I add. I’ve seen some people say JJ was annoying this season and I get where they’re coming from, but all of his impulsive decisions and everything that happened at/after the town meeting just made me sad. he was struggling so much that he didn’t care what happened to him or if he lived or died. all he wanted was a future where he could live with his friends in their own little paradise without a care in the world. with the money from the crown and shoupe’s promise, it seemed like he was so close to happiness and inner peace, but they didn’t let him have that. so yeah, I get why they did this, but that doesn’t make it less upsetting.

[evilminji]

Okay this is going to drive me INSANE. D:>

Dearly beloved, Phandom darlings...

Can DANNY EAT VIDEO GAME/TV FOOD?

I... I NEED to know. You don't UNDERSTAND!? Think about it. No, seriously. THINK about all those HIGHLY unrealistic, too good to be true, PERFECT looking meals. Animated shows n games etc where there are chefs who will "cook for Anybody!"

Now think about being 14 going 20. A teenager. A broke college student. Your fridge is empty and everything you touch? Comes back to LIFE. You're... you're just so hungry. Tired. Your bruises have bruises and you have a paper due tomorrow.

I kinda want to CRY.

Can only eat cup ramen so many times before you DO.

And this show? That commercial? Yonder cooking game?? Well... they did a REAL good job animating it. It looks so WARM. So FILLING and COMFORTING. You can practically SMELL it.

You look down at your sad, soggy, cheap but you can afford it, EZ Noodles and? Feel something BREAK inside. You... you KNOW you can travel inside technology. KNOW this. Have done it before. Why... why AREN'T you? You can't keep living like this.

You gotta TRY, right?

I? Wanna believe it TOTALLY works?? Because Ectoplasm is weird like that? And just shrugs? Says "actual food, the concept of food backed by electricity, what's the difference? Sure, we can fuck with this"? And so Danny? IMMEDIATELY fucking switches his diet.

Like? Dead stop screech, slam on the breaks, u-turn to take that last off-ramp. Type IMMEDIATE.

Grocery bill? No, no, you mistake him! No. NOW it's his "carefully researched for their cooking, games and shows" bill. Touch his collection and he'll FUCKING BITE.

They got sticky notes on the cases. Menus n lil fold out "grocery store" locations. He punched a dragon for this fruit. Mmmmm, home cooked meeeeeals~

Just? Weird Foodie Danny. Yes he DOES know what those steaks taste like. While YOU fuckers were staring at the cat girls bizangas, HE was eating granny cat lady's home made meatball stew! Ha! YOU FOOLS!

More then that? I want him to write reviews. Like "yeah, fight system was OKAY but- *5 hour glowing rant about the food, sounding like a food critic who'd actually fucking gone and loved it* " and people are like?? Who? Is this funky lil madman? This is hilarious?

I want it to be DPxDC JUST? So everyone slowly starts to play the game "Meta or Shtick?" Because no one REALLY knows who he is. This dude gets POPULAR though. For some reason can't be hacked (shame on you guys! Way to try and ruin the FUN!). And like? Eventually? Someone just fucking ASKS?

And Danny is like... " wouldn't YOU like to know, weatherboy?"

So everyone is like:

"Meta."

But hey... since they're already ASSUMING~? >:3c WHOOOOO wants to help him PAY RENT~? Let's VLOG this fucker! Wooooo! Say "hi" Catchef! *feline noises* like? It's like a let's play combined with a mukbang.

Teen Heros everywhere are FACINATED. Game developers are suddenly like? "If there's food. You BETTER make it look amazing. We want that weird YouTube twink to... whatever his powers are, our game! Free viral marketing!" Food channels? Rending their clothes, on their KNEES, please! PLEASE! Just ANSWER OUR EMAIL! Just ONE SHOW! A one off! Guest appearance!

We have MONEY!!!

All while Danny? Is finally happy with his life. Weird as hell. Harrasing the world. Good food on the regular. Gets to travel, kinda. Best of all? He's raising money from it! Can help people! Now... who wants salad?

@babbling-babull @hdgnj @hypewinter @legitimatesatanspawn @spidori @dcxdpdabbles @the-witchhunter @lolottes

[xxoxobree]

Hi! I'm Ash and I hope you don't mind me dropping in for the matchup thing. I'd prefer to be matched with one of the JJK men (preferably the adults).

In terms of personality, I'm an INTP. My astrological signs are Sagittarius sun, Cancer Moon, and Gemini rising (though I'm not super knowledgeable on if that's accurate to me). I have a bit of social anxiety so I'm really bad at small talk and meeting new people. However, once you get me to break open, I'm more on the weird side (I feel like that's everyone though). I enjoy joking around with friends, but if anyone tries to flirt with me I am kind of a sarcastic, snarky, and teasing bitch. I can be mean, but I usually don't mean it. Other than that, I talk a lot about sex for someone under the ace spectrum (Demi). I'm terrified of intimacy and physical touch triggers my fight or flight. But I show my love via quality time and acts of service.

In terms of looks, I'm pretty short at 5'3" and hate every mention of it. I have thick black/dark brown hair that I keep long and usually in a ponytail for work. (Though I do be having a lot of grey hairs, they actually look pretty cool). I would say I'm skinny, but I'm not bone thin or muscular or anything. I also have brown eyes and wear glasses. I'm also Wasian if that gives you an idea of the general vibe of appearance.

Likes: Nature, Travel (More like planning unrealistic bougie trips at work), Anime (more like fictional anime men 😅), DnD, cozy video games, Cats (Specifically my cat Petri (As in a Petri dish because I'm a nerd)), Microbiology (my degree), Food (I like a lot of diverse foods)

Dislikes: Cilantro (I have the soap gene 😩), the cold (my circulation is bad so I'm always cold), work (the constant internal debate to just become a sugar baby is real), capitalism,

Hobbies: Learning to code (idk if it's a hobby or me trying to learn so I can get that six figure salary), learning Japanese, Writing, Cosplaying/Sewing, Baking/cooking, video games, reading (mainly fanfiction)

Hey Ash 🥰 You’re such a Sagittarius, I love you (I’m one too 😉)

So I think you’d be perfect for Mr. Suguru Geto

Being a person that is introverted, I think he would afford you the space to be alone and be yourself or simply be content with sitting with you while you two do your own thing. He doesn’t force you to talk if you don’t want to.

He’s definitely the calm reassuring type, he’d be amazing when it comes to anxiety attacks, giving your hand a light squeeze with a smile to calm you or a whisper that he’s with you.

I’d say Geto is also a person ask himself lots of questions and who looks at things for what they are and tries to do what he thinks is best, similar to your personality. I think it’d make good conversation for the both of you and it’d flow very easily. Geto is also kinda chaotic and makes decisions sometimes on a whim so taking you on a spontaneous date night is definitely up his sleeve.

I don’t think he’d mind the snarky attitude at all, he finds it amusing but is sure to let you know that you are being feisty.He’s 6’3 🫢, finds your height cute.

When it comes to physical intimacy, if he knows about how you feel about it he’ll definitely let you initiate first and make sure you’re comfortable with whatever. Very caring checks in with you every 2 mins if he knows something is wrong. Picks up on your gift giving (such as sagittarius thing 🫶🏽) and keeps everything you give him. Tries to help you cook probably isn’t the best at it 😭

[chimeramoth]

a not-so-quick note about rainbow capitalism

capitalism, is capitalism. i have a lot of strong opinions about it and always complain about it to people. and when someone brings up a side effect of capitalism that they're not quite connecting the dots, i make an effort to point it out to them. it's a predatory and vicious system that cares about nothing but money number go up.

it doesn't matter if you work for a small chain or a mega chain of a business. their goals are the same: sell the items for the lowest price in the local area to defeat other stores in locality, make employee benefits look nice and great in comparison to the employee morale, and let a bunch of cases of harassment, discrimination, neglect, and unethical choices slide under the rug. my best advice is do not work for a mega chain store (if you are able) if you are mentally ill and/or disabled (and honestly if you are any kind person that can see all the problems going on, but i know that is more of an unrealistic dream for the time being).

but as for consuming capitalism, people will buy what they see. the rules don't matter. somebody somewhere will buy the cheaply made unethically sourced product that's right in front of their eyes, because that's how capitalism markets to their consumers. "check out this cool and pretty thing that we just got a shipment of. you don't see these things every day, now do you? pretty coooool, huhhhh? and for the low price of $xx.xx. can't beat that with a stick. how many other stores do you know have this item right now, ready, for this price? this is a opportunity for you, pal. better grab it before it's gone."

these systems are harder to take down as they are currently the systems holding up economy at the moment.

and when it comes to rainbow capitalism/pride merchandise, optically, this is a great thing.

because now that mega chain stores are offering these items for sale for anyone walking in, it's being casually advertised. its subconsciously persuasive to people who may have hesitant feelings, uncertainty, uncomfortableness, or questions on showing your pride. it's a casual suggestion that maybe people wearing rainbow clothes and capes and cheering and hugging are not so bad after all. if w*lmart is selling it out in the open, then maybe pride isn't actually about being degenerate or harming children or whatever. maybe pride... really is just a big party to a group of people.

the more that people see it, the more they are exposed to rainbow stickers and transgender flags, the less of a harsh reaction they will feel. exposure to diversity and inclusivity is greatly proven for coexisting among people that are different than you. and it works on everyone.

so with all of this said, if you are in a safe position to do so without a major risk threat of being harassed in public, if you see something you like that is readily available to you at your store, if you do not have the money or time to afford looking into more ethically acceptable merchandise from other stores, if it's not something that's going to harm your wallet.

then buy it. pick it up and put it in your cart if it brings you a little joy to your day. depending on where you live, you may want to mentally and socially prepare yourself in case anyone confronts you about it, but breathe in deeply and hold your chest up strong, and don't give them the hysterical reaction they're wanting out of you. they want you to feel guilt for being queer, but do your best to not let them have that satisfaction.

buy the little gay mass produced coffee mug, if it makes you happy. we cannot help the environment that we are forced to participate in, and if you want to use your money to have a little gay mug or gay towel or flag or pin or slippers, fuck it, yolo. enjoy the little opportunity of joy you have come across, and survive. live and survive until better times. when the better times come, you can bring out that little gay mug you bought 20 years ago and hold it like a little treasure, and talk about it and share it with loved ones, tell them about the tense hardships we have had to push through gritting our teeth through pain and fear, and tell them that you bought this little gay mug during that time to remind you that life is short and joy is priceless.

[nottcommitting]

the emily in paris review

delightfully unrealistic escapism. 7/10

I really wish i could give this show a higher rating, but unfortunately the universal yearn for Paris, and seductive performance of Philippine Leroy-Beaulieu [Sylvie] just barely save it from receiving a 6. It's hard to turn away from the sweeping landscape of France and the woman who is so quintessentially blessed with her cultural identity that you feel at times raptured in a Parisian affair of your very own. Leroy-Beaulieu outshines the rest and every episode I find myself more curious than the last about her origins, but much to my chagrin, i'm sorely reminded that the show isn't actually about her, but her American intern- Emily Cooper.

Cooper played by British Rock royalty Lily Collins is the cheesy, cliché nightmare of a character we're all supposed to love because she's a young American girl in Paris with a successful career. *Queue her intentionally horrible French accent that no one outside of the show actually finds charming.* She's bouncy, and energetic, and full of cash grabbing ideas which she flaunts as an overpaid marketing intern. And she is overpaid- how else could she afford her one bedroom apartment conveniently located in a safe arrondisement with a complimentary view. Honestly, in every capacity the show could not get more unrealistic. I don't blame Netflix and I don't blame Collins for it though. Paris has needed this bubbly infusion of innocence and naivety [no matter how poorly produced] since 2008 when Liam Neeson's action thriller TAKEN was released. A film that put Paris on the map as so frightfully dangerous that female tourists could get sucked into sex trafficking as soon as they get off the plane. In Cinema and pop culture, I don't think France ever recovered. So this new take, however criminally overdone, gets a pass from me. I can't say it isn't great to romanticize Paris again. And I think common thread Camille Japy, the actress who's appeared in both Taken and Emily in Paris would agree.

But again [with all reluctance] back to Emily- as the main character, i think she really should be more polished. i find it very strange that her expat friend Mindy and a one-off character from Australia seem more American than she does. Kate Walsh's appearances didn't help her case either. In fact it's actually laughable that an American character [being played by a British Actress] is being out Americaned by two actual American Actresses. Both Walsh and Park [Mindy] are native to the U.S. and you can tell. This I do fault Collins for, as I feel she could be more authentic in delivery. Her clumsy performance really takes away from everyone else's natural quirkiness. I find that I can never fully appreciate the comedic genius of Bruno Gouery's Luc, or salivate over William Abadie's Antoine Lambert. Like an annoying pop up ad Collins just keeps taking up the screen and eating away at the meat of my French croque monsieur. Truly, the only good thing she does manage to do is cover up her co character Gabriel's storyline. She's so overwhelming on screen it's hard to realize how terrible his story and character development actually are. - but this isn't a lily collins hate piece. I am being critical, but collins is not flat out terrible. In fact despite my opinion and observations, i don't think anyone else but collins could play someone as shallow as emily cooper and make her seem likeable. i think collins is the perfect choice, but somewhere within production the execution is just lost. with all my heart i believe cooper's bones are there, but they're just not walking.

kind of like the rest of the shows concepts. cooper works for a marketing team. hot. she goes to fashion shows. hot. cooper's in love with a chef. hot. she has a seriously cut throat boss. hot. she goes to exclusive parties. hot. she's in paris. hot. she's the intern in the hot seat. relatable. I mean these are all the components that were used for the devil wears prada, a film that came out almost 20 years ago and remains a pop cultural cult classic to this day. why on earth isn't it working for Emily in Paris? it's tragique!

personally i think it may have to do with the fact that none of emily's problems are actual problems. even when tasked with the impossible the issue is solved with a few beats of her thumb. we never feel the pressure that andy sachs felt when she had to run around NY to get the unpublished manuscripts of the latest harry potter books printed and bound. we're in season 4, and the only major decision emily has had to make is whether or not she would be working in america or paris for the forseeable future- as if that's even a dilemma. in the spirit of nigel barker, when i think about working in paris all i can say is "a million girls would kill for that job." who wouldn't choose paris? additionally there's no character development. andy sachs went from a thrift store runt to an executive assistant in haute couture. when we meet emily she's already wrapped in a bow when it comes to her professional life. so unfortunately all of her learning curves have to come out of her friendships and love interests but for some reason the show treats each as plot pawns by stealing their capacity for impressionable depth. in the writer's room the more shallow the better.

And the relationships are shallow- in height and width. So shallow they don’t even attempt to surprise the audience with anything new because there’s no where to swim. I’m so over the Camille/ Emily / Gabriel storyline, it's not even funny. I was hopeful when Alfie came into the picture, but Emily didn't seem to learn anything with him either. No one's learning anything.

I’ve watched 40 episodes of this show and have yet to learn a damn thing. The most complex piece of dialogue they seem to be able to offer shows up in season 3 and stands on the principle of choice. Ergo, Emily in Paris wants you to know: Not choosing is still choosing.

Because no one’s heard that before.

Which begs the question- why am i wasting my time here? - ah yes. the giant croissants and the sparkling shots of the eiffel tower. i really have to book a trip soon.

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

See, I think it's interesting you think Valentino is a simplistic character. I actually think he's a lot more complicated than many give him credit for but I'll acknowledge that is mostly because we know so little! While there is no justifying his current actions (and there shouldn't be) I do think there is so much room to interpret his background in a way that gives a good foundation for why he behaves the way he does that goes beyond the bland/unrealistic "he sleeps/breathes abuse because that's all that he is" narrative I've seen floating around.

I'm actually inclined to interpret Valentino as having his own past with sex work - we see all those promotional photos of him scantily clad in the background and while he dresses as a stereotypical pimp this comes across as performative to me. He would have been alive during the glamorization/villainization of pimping in the 70's and I can see a young Valentino being enamored by that culture but not necessarily being a part of it himself (almost adjacent to it even as a male sex worker). In my mind, Valentino got involved in sex work at a young age and this distorted his view on healthy sexual relationships and how he has this need for power/control due to, at one point or another, being extremely powerless himself. In this way, I think Valentino has gone on to repeat the cycle of abuse with Angel (and any of the others who may have been in Angel's place before) and I view it tragic from both Angel's perspective (of course) and Valentino's. This is someone who theoretically (again this is HC since we know so little about him as of now) went through the same trauma/abuse and is now victimizing another person. Valentino wouldn't have had a Charlie in his corner, so how did that impact his psyche? So while the top priority at this current moment is protecting Angel and mitigating the harm Valentino can cause to Angel (while also, hopefully, acknowledging the intense healing Angel will need to do), after that has all been addressed, what comes next for Valentino? Why shouldn't he also be afforded the opportunity to heal/grow/change in a show predicated on rehabilitation?

And (just adding to clarify) I don't think sex work should be vilified either. I think Valentino shows an extreme sexual openness that is more genuine to him than with Angel (who is portrayed as "acting" more than truly feeling that way). It would add another layer of narrative interest to have two characters who show (on the surface) many shared traits/experiences but in reality have vastly different outcomes/responses based on those traits/experiences. I know my take of affording a character like Valentino any complexity is extremely unpopular in the fandom (hence anon lol), but the idea of "everyone can be redeemed/deserves a second chance" was what initially attracted me to the show and I think there is a lot you can do with his background to introduce the idea of him growing over time as well. Again, I don't think it needs to be reiterated constantly but just to be clear: this does not justify his actions, it just helps explain them and it gives a basis for how his own healing/growth could be tackled in a show where rehabilitation/redemption as themes are centered. Unless the show reneges on that theme (and I truly, truly, truly hope it does not) I don't see why they wouldn't explore a storyline like that.

Sorry that got away from me - really, just wanted to say I understand your comments on there being so many different ways to interpret the Vees (the best characters, in my opinion) and their backgrounds/characters. There are A LOT out there and it has been fun to read through them (even if I personally disagree), I just think many discount Valentino. While I completely understand why they do, I think it is a interesting challenge/exploration to really dig into how a character could have become like this based on the little information we have. If any of that makes sense lol. It's been fun reading all your takes! Hope none of this comes across as critical of you or your perspective, just sharing my own if it's of interest. :)

Woah that is- that is a lot of words sknfnfksnfjs- anyways I wasn't talking abt Val's backstory when I said that, I have no fucking clue what his background is either dnfnmdfnnsfnd I just meant his personality and dynamics with other characters are a lot easier to pin down than the other two lmao

But anyways that's a really interesting theory! There's definitely something to it, cycles of abuse happen all the damn time. It would have to be handled SO CAREFULLY for obvious reasons, but there's absolutely potential there. I personally have no fucking clue where they're gonna go with the Vees next season, and I don't have any specific wants other than PLEASE GOD LET THE VOX/ALASTOR DRAMA HAVE SOME ACTUAL COMPLEXITY TO IT PLEASE I BEG- but I don't think I'd be super mad if this is where they went(again IF IT'S HANDLED DELICATELY. OH MY GOD I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH THEY NEED TO BE SO FUCKING CAREFUL WITH VALENTINO NEXT SEASON NO MATTER THE DIRECTION THEY TAKE HIM-)

[asteria-in-your-area]

In defence of Alina (and some others)

I don’t know if this opinion is controversial or not, but here we go: stop hating on Alina for having chosen Mal over the Darkling and Nikolai. Right of the bat I want to say, I am not hating on any of the characters, just discussing.

Alina has always insisted that she does not want to be involved in any of the big events, her dream was to settle down with her childhood friend.

AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! There is nothing wrong with choosing to step back. You would argue that Mal was being a d*ck and played with her. Well, news everyone, the fact that the Darkling said some nice formulated sentences that sound poetic does not make him any less of a d*ck. That’s his character and it’s logical for him to do that, but don’t blame it on Alina for not being like 90% of the YA female protagonists and being blinded by the bad boy’s power and looks, for using her brain. I think Bardugo made a really sensible decision not making Alina fall helplessly in love with the Darkling as this shows that you can be the main character and still not “sacrifice your feelings in the name of the greater good” (honestly most of the times is just the girl putting some stupid obstacles and just throwing one big tantrum). They always say: “Ah, I wish I was normal, I wish I had a simple life, please pity me”. But when they really can choose it, they are like: “Oh, no, I can’t step back, I will let down so many people” (I am talking about you Mare Barrow, but that is for another time). But Alina chose the simpler life with her best friend, who isn’t the perfect book boyfriend everyone wants, but is a realistic man with his own feeling and priorities other than y/n. EVERYONE, THAT’S A REALISTIC RELATIONSHIP. Not everything is perfect, but it works and they are generally happy. That’s the most you could ever realistically want. I think female authors should stop writing those perfect boys who will do anything for the girl, because it sets unrealistic standards. We all fight for changing the impossible standards on women and in that same breath put them on men. That’s not ok, Karen. I have a brother and he’s really suffering from things like that, and he doesn’t even read.

And about Nikolai. I really love him, honestly. I am all for the smart and planning character (Jude, Kaz, even Aelin). And I do think that if Alina wasn’t Alina and was more ambitious, they would’ve made a really cool power couple like Jurdan (an otp of mine). But Alina is Alina and she doesn’t want to have anything to do with politics and power. And it is really important that we respect her choices and wishes. She is actually stronger than all of the other “very special girls”, because she chooses step back and look after her own happiness, she doesn’t fight for the greater good, but her own wellbeing. As a society we should normalize this, because this is how you really should behave if you want to preserve yourself and really live an average, but happy life. (Stop loathing for something impossible and be thankful for what you have, because many can’t afford it).

I am personally sick and tired of the all the characters that do everything for the greater good, with those noble motives. They are unrealistic and from one point on – boring. I need more Judes, who openly wants power (that does not stop her from wanting and deserving love), like Percy, who is tired of the hero life and straight up says: “F*ck you, I’m out”, like Warner, who doesn’t magically get nicer to everyone because he loves Juliette, he has stated countless times that he wants her and nothing else (you shouldn’t expect him to miraculously change), like Thorne, who is and will always be a ladies man and would be unnecessary… romantic or erotic to a minor (I am not saying it is ok bc it is not, but that is logical when he never saw resistance and no one ever has told him/showed him or even slightly hinted that it is wrong, that’s the real world guys and books should reflect it and not only some magical utopia where everyone is perfect, we should definitely discuss it and point out that it is not ok but there are boundaries that should not be crossed).

I know that it will sound strange and even a little hypocritic, but we should all as a collective distance ourselves from the character and view the stories more as an art and not a real-life thing and not get too involved, bc it is really not cool anymore.

I guess this turned more like a rant, but I needed to get it off my chest. I guess I just want to get canceled at this point. I would love to hear other opinions as long as everyone stays respective, I won’t tolerate anything less. Pls do write if you have real arguments and not just: “bUt I wOuLd’Ve cHoOsEn hIm”.

As a conclusion: stan Alina, stan Jude, stan Warner, stan Percy, stan Nikolai, stan realistic relationships and throw *insert perfect bad/t boy here* in the trash. That was from me. Thanks everyone who had the nerve to read all of this, it is deeply appreciated.

😊😊😊😊

[serene-victory-77]

Why The Crows Being Teenagers Is Actually Perfectly Realistic

There’s a TL;DR are the end because wow I like to rant.

I lightly discuss the general situations they’re all in to explore how they are frighteningly mature and competent, but it’s not particularly depressing or descriptive, it’s definitely lighter than the books

I thought about this post with a joke first: “People who think that Six of Crows is unrealistic because they’re so young clearly have not spent much time with traumatized honors students.”

It’s a bit of an exaggeration, but the point stands.

But I decided that, hm, actually, I could make a point about this. I totally agree with the aging up of the characters in the Shadow and Bone show, but when people straight up say that the books are wrong or unrealistic for having a young crew, I get annoyed, and here’s why (other than me reading the books for the first time when I was 13 and thinking ‘Huh okay, I see it’ and now being lowkey offended when people say they ignore it for being unrealistic):

On Inej

- At first I thought Inej’s wisdom and general demeanor was one of the most unrealistic things in the book

- When I thought about it longer, I was like “Actually, she’s 16, right? I’ve sent some of the most lyrical philosophy trying to help my friends while in high school. My friends have done the same. It’s valid.”

- Frankly, teenagers love hard-hitting philosophical truths. They love repeating what they’ve read or heard in movies and in books and from family stories. They love sharing little bits of wisdom they have come up with

- Inej’s ability to hear and understand philosophy and wisdom that she was surrounded by for 14 straight years and then sit on it and elaborate it for her friends to understand, or even just to piss them off in Kaz’s case? 

- Teenagers have that. They do it. So, Inej’s Wisdom passes, to me. It’s valid. 

As for her being calm

- You know how everyone jokes that Kaz seems calm on the outside but when you get to his POV he’s like “What the fuck” at the Van Eck house or just straight up “Huh, is this revenge for making tree jokes” at the Djel River thingy in the Ice Court?

- Inej is like that, too. And she gets angry, and she gets confused, or exhausted.

- AKA every quiet kid ever. Like, are you kidding? Have you ever been in a situation in which it’s literally chaos all around you, people are screaming and things are being destroyed (think middle school classroom with bitchy long term substitute and even worse students), and you’re just, calm? You pick up your things, you do what you need to do?

- That’s Inej. Like, what else is she gonna do? She’s smart enough to know that panicking won’t help anyone, and so she just rides it out. Internally she might be like “Why is this happening” but frankly, her being quiet and controlled in most situations is probably a coping mechanism and I respect that

- Pretty sure this is also based on the fact that the Suli have no land for their own and constantly have to keep moving. It might align with generational trauma, I’m sure someone could explain it better than me, but being able to keep your cool while constantly having to change and adapt to new situations, in, say, a country with hellfire politics and no land to call your own? Seems like a hereditary trait that could be useful in Ketterdam, although it’s sad.

On Inej’s abilities

- Simone Biles started training when she was 6 and went to the World Artistic Gymnastics Championships when she was 16, where she qualified in all the events. 

- There are videos of people walking over tightropes as young as three years old. We know Inej didn’t start that young, but not only was she naturally talented at it, but she spent a lot of time practicing. I think it’s valid. Plus, some of her family members do some pretty crazy things in her flashbacks, because that’s the whole point of what they do. 

- Youngest person to beat American Ninja Warrior was 16 year old Vance Walker

- Inej has a variety of of tools that help her wall climb, and while it’s true that she started young and got good really fast, she already had a history of physical work that would help her, and from what we can gleam from the book, a surprising amount of free time in which she was actively encouraged to learn everything she could. 

So that’s Inej! I think her skills are perfectly possible for someone with her history and situation. It’s true that she’s naturally skilled, but that’s not actually all that unusual. And her demeanor and wisdom do fit in with what a lot of teenagers are like and the circumstances she was brought up in

Onto Kaz!

- One thing I hear about is that Kaz is too smart for not having gone to school and also too young to know all that he does

- Do you all KNOW how many self-taught people there have been in this world? The word for people who are self-taught is autodidacts, and honestly a huge amount of famous people apply. Like many, many other people in history (there’s a whole list of them in Wikipedia), he had an vested interest in a field and he learned all he could. Sure, those fields were magic tricks and math, but still.

- Suddenly I have a lot of thoughts

- Okay, think, hyperfixations. That’s essentially what Kaz’s thing with magic tricks was, right? Have any of you ever spent time with an eight year old that clearly really, really loves dinosaurs? Those kids can spout names and facts and identify them by their skeletons and frankly know more than I ever will. Kaz’s was magic tricks. All kids are special.

- Kaz continued working on magic tricks and practicing them for years, so, I think that gets a pass. 

- As for the math! Look, a Fact Of Life is that some kids are just Like That, whether it be possibly from neurodivergence or other factors:

- Flo and Kay Lyman are twins with Autism who basically have the calendar of EVER memorized. Kaz memorizing card decks is sensible, and these ladies don’t need to look up anything to figure it out, so Kaz doing sums inside his head seems plausible. His “photographic memory’ isn’t impossible, although the term itself might be incorrect.

- Katherine Johnson who worked at NASA (yes, the lady from Hidden Figures), was so good at math that she was in high school by age 10 and went to college at age 15. It’s true that she had some teaching, but 1. There’s no evidence Kaz had absolutely no schooling, even if it was just at home with books and 2. Kaz was 9 when he came to Ketterdam, and after Jordie died, when he wasn’t surviving, he was learning. 

- Human calculator is a term that is applied to children a lot and there’s definitely plenty of videos showing how smart these kids are and them doing mental math easily, which he does in the books

- He had a LOT of pressure on him to figure out all he could, and if he wanted to move forward, he was going to have to learn a lot. He spent hours practicing magic tricks, for all we know he spent hours practicing math too. We know Jordie was a bit of a bookworm too, so Kaz from a young age probably already had a reason to learn. Personally, a lot of my love for books was inspired by my older sibling when I was younger

- Young people are adaptable. Kaz is incredibly adaptable. The term prodigy exists because of people like him through history. 

- As for him being rational, there’s no other way to survive. Some of the greatest soldiers in history have been very, very young, and very, very smart. It’s true tacticians are generally considered to be older, but that doesn’t mean there haven’t been very young ones. 

- A lot of the generals I found were like, 19 years old, but Kaz is 1. not a general and 2. in a place where young people take up the mantle really, really quickly, and frankly it’s been like that for a long time. I still think this passes. This isn’t relevant but William the Conqueror was apparently called “The Bastard”?

- Frankly, underground communities of thieves probably don’t go around publishing their escapades so to me it makes sense that I can’t just look up “famous young thieves” and get anything that makes sense, but I did try

- Y’all I tried to do research on youngest escape artists since I think Kaz qualifies and I found myself in what I think is a magicians forum? It’s from 2002-ish and I feel like I’ve just found a relic. I can’t definitely prove they’re all saying the truth, but some of the people there talk about 10-11 year olds at magic camps, so, it’s not impossible for this to be a skill Kaz learned really young, particularly when he made a habit of following around magicians

- I think he passes the realism check overall

For the other Crows:

- Nina being so proficiently multilingual makes sense to me, because she’s been in the Little Palace almost her entire life with all the best teachers they could afford at her disposal. Some people just click with languages. One such would be Timothy Doner, who spoke 23 languages at 16. 

- Nina is a child soldier. She of course can handle the battlefield, although I imagine there’s a degree of trauma that she has to deal with (although it’s true that most of her work was always meant to angle her towards being a spy).

- Jesper was taught to shoot from a young age by Aditi, who was likely incredibly proficient. Plus, there’s mentions of him and his father being on some sort of frontier at one point in the books, so, it’s likely that Jesper got his fair share of ‘being a child soldier” since he would’ve been 15 or younger. Plus, with being a Fabrikator, he gets a leg up

- Jesper’s smart y’all, he just also likes to have fun

- I am a little terrified by the fact that I looked up ‘youngest sharpshooter’ and found out about a 9 year old girl (Addysson “Addy” Soltau) who can indeed shoot guns, but uh, it does prove my point

- Matthias... I haven’t heard anyone really argue about Matthias. He’s the oldest at 18 and again, he’s essentially a religious child soldier. Of course he would be built af and know how to handle himself in a fight, and in a flashback about meeting Trassel, we’re told that he was actually distanced from the other boys and was the biggest and strongest/smartest of the group. Perhaps not compared to Kaz, but still

- We know how Wylan ended up how he is, so I don’t think i have to defend how he’s both a musical prodigy, good at math, and good at chemistry. Plenty of kids who can’t do one thing will immediately gravitate to a different field (think AP math students who can’t write essays, or those kids who could analyse a book and it’s metaphors in class but didn’t understand geometry).

- Granted he took it far but it’s kinda implied that  his father ignored him eventually and what else was Wylan going to do

- I don’t really know how he did chemistry while not being able to read the symbols and stuff, but that’s likely because I’ve never had to learn the way he did and also I really suck at Chemistry, but I refuse to believe that it invalidates his capabilities

Final Thoughts:

- They’re Traumatized Honors Students

- People might say that “it’s unrealistic that all the smart ones somehow ended up together” but again they’re traumatized honors students and those gravitate to each other

- Of course the smart ones ended up together, they’re the ones in those crazy situations precisely because they are prodigies. Nina wouldn’t have met Matthias if she wasn’t skilled and a spy, Kaz wouldn’t have known Inej if she hadn’t been skilled at silence (I can’t explain that one but uh ninjas did/do exist and it IS still a fantasy world). Kaz would have never been a leader of the Dregs in a position to find Jesper if he hadn’t been so determined to rise to the top, and Jesper wouldn’t have been in Ketterdam if his father hadn’t thought that Jesper was smart enough to get that chance.

- You know how those fringe revolutionary artists for new eras end up knowing all knowing each other and even hanging out? That’s them.

- I have decided there is a strong basis for Autistic Kaz, someone who is more studied than me should feel free to explore this.

- I read this book a few years ago, A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah. It’s about this guy’s experiences as a boy soldier and it’s a painful read so I’m not sure I recommend it as a casual read, but he talked about these young kids being able to actually make competent military strategies and handle warfare. It’s an extreme example of what I’m trying to explain when it comes to them being able to handle the brutality of their situation, but it’s true, essentially

- They are definitely serious, but if you think they’re not teenagers I just, disagree so much. They have moments of lighthearted banter, they make light of their situation, they try to support each other Nina covers it so well in her farewell at the end of Crooked Kingdom: The little rescues of laughing at each others jokes or eating together and just supporting each other, is not only a very human thing, but a very teenager thing. 

- Scary experiences that shape us happen all the time, and although for most it’s not the things that the Crows experience, picking each other up is a big part of why they do read as teenagers to me. I’ve seen kids be able to seriously converse about things like being questioned by the police, or being left to their own devices for days at a time, or the general impending doom they all feel, and it’s dark, but they’re also going to joke about silly puns 20 minutes later. 

- Teenagers aren’t exempt from terrifying maturity and competence

- Finally: Despite all I said, it’s a fantasy story and doesn’t have to be realistic

In the end, everyone can believe what they want to believe, but this is my case for my opinion.

TL;DR The Crows are all prodigies and a lot of their achievements and capabilities are based in reality and there are real people who actually achieved things like what they’ve done. Messed up prodigies gravitate to messed up prodigies, hence how they all end up together. When it comes to their mental state, most of them have been brought up their entire lives in situations that required for them to problem solve and keep their cool even when things are going to hell.

[cancerjupiter]

astro notes: neptune edition (pt. 1)

neptune represents issues which are frequently unconscious, so all of this may operate without your awareness. if projected, the negative aspects of neptune become more emphasised. the more you reject it in your own life, the more likely it is that you’ll meet it in exaggerated ways outside yourself.

neptune in the 1st house

tends to be the kind of person who waits and sees, but your outward behavior doesn’t begin to describe what goes on inside. you feel connected to your environment because you’re aware of subtle energies, you pick up impressions from others they’re usually unaware to be giving. you find yourself in the uncomfortable position of knowing (beyond a verbal level) what others’ unconscious motivations are, what’s hidden behind their civility. you tend to be very idealistic, preferring to live in harmony: peaceful non-demanding relationships and quiet and aesthetically pleasing surroundings. you choose to think kindly of others, whether they reciprocate or not; your sensitivity gives you a natural compassion. you can be most charming, often whimsical, sometimes romantic, and usually empathic. you seem approachable and often receptive to a degree others find startling and deeply gratifying (if not a little scary lol). you want life to be perfect for yourself and others, and your desire for a better world can be channeled into artistic creative pursuits, social work, or mere daydreaming.

you often struggle with personal identity. you may be so open to others that you pick up their moods without realising it. you tend to mimic, unconsciously, the strong characteristics of the last person you were with. don’t become an emotional sponge; define your emotional boundaries and accept it is necessary for your growth to establish a firm identity. another thing i noticed about you is that you guys don’t mind suffering; no, i’m not saying you don’t hate it (everyone does!) but you seem to accept it when you don’t have to. you put others first and feel that it’s best to sacrifice your own well-being than to be responsible for someone else’s suffering.

there’s almost always a strong awareness of and interest in spiritual energies with this placement. you may actually be psychic, whether or not you’re comfortable with the ability. you may deeply religious, although not conventionally since institutions don’t satisfy you; you feel at home with a belief system you know, from personal experience, exists. your lack of interest in the real world can lead you into seriously bad habits like drug abuse or eating disorders and due to your dislike of physical activity, this can quickly damage your (often sensitive) health. alternatively, this placement can also lead to arrogance, depending on the sun and midheaven placements/aspects.

neptune in the 2nd house

you tend to be idealistic with the use of money and personal resources, not terribly attached to them. you look at them as temporary and although sad to part with something you own, you can let it go where others simply cannot. there’s an indifferent attitude towards finances, income and etc. some of you are v generous and will give things away to people who can truly admire it, believing nothing truly belongs to anyone. this outlook satisfies you greatly, making you easygoing but also easily being taken advantage of. this sort of gives you a fairy-tale attitude towards your money - it’s either always there when needed, or simply one of the world’s idiotic, materialistic preoccupations. you may be unpractical or simply forgetful with resources; not willing to sit down and figure what’s the best buy and choosing to go with intuition. purchases usually go by what you want rather than what you can afford (my friend has no idea how much is on her bank acc and doesn’t care to figure it out. she just doesn’t care lol). you should actually read the small print in contracts and not trust just anyone with your money.

alternatively, there may be a strong tendency to overvalue material things (neptune = beliefs in the house of money and possessions), specially if there’s an earth emphasis in the chart, making you inclined to putting great care and time into upkeep. you usually want your things to look aesthetic™️. 

there’s also a strong creative tendency; it may be expressed in various forms but it will certainly be inherent. you need at least periodic access to music and inspiration, including the outdoors where you can soak up peace and serenity. since the 2nd house also relates to sensual pleasures, you probably expect these to provide a kind of ultimate ecstasy. in short, this placement forces you to face up to your tendencies to create illusions about money, possessions, sex, or creative pursuits. don’t expect more from them than they can provide.

neptune in the 3rd house

on one level, this placement can confuse and scatter the brain, giving it vagueness and disorganized thinking. sometimes, however, the mind exhibits uncanny insights into the subtleties of the environment. you sense the hidden nuances and meanings behind what’s being said. what you miss in terms of precise analytical ability, you can by being able to view the big-picture more clearly. there’s a danger to this however; your desire to view what’s beautiful and ideal around you can give a kind of selective perception in which only the good is seen and what doesn’t fit into that is ignored.

you don’t usually feel comfortable expressing yourself through normal channels of communication. what you have to say can be better demonstrated through dance, poetry, song, or picture (painted or taken). there’s often a shyness in the early school situation, which manifested in mental illness (my friend has dyslexia and this was a hard time for her) or simply confusion.

since this house also rules siblings, there may be some sacrifices to be made in relation to them; they may be a problem or have difficulties. since neptune fuses the boundary between the self and others, you may feel you’re responsible for their problems or everything which happens in the immediate environment (also ruled by the 3rd). if you don’t have siblings, you probably longed for the companionship of it, an idealized vision of what a sibling is. i also noticed this neptune placement showing exceptional ability as teachers - specially working w children who have learning difficulties. they can understand ways to communicate with and understand the child better than anyone else.

neptune in the 4th house

i have this one and it’s a loaded position: an unconscious planet in an unconscious house. to feel safe in a secure nest is fundamental, though that’s often quite unconscious. your idea of haven includes a lovely home, w lots of food and someone who will take care of your needs. there’s an assumption that the mother, early home life and emotional security all need to be perfect. that is, all needs will be met with ease, and there’s no upset or disappointment in these areas. the mom or other primary caregiver, is supposed to be there when needed, regardless of other commitments. the illusions connected to the 4th house (remember, neptune refers to illusions which must be exposed and released) are deeply intimate; and any threat to them is profoundly threatening to you.

neptune in the 4th generally has to overcome the strong need for the nurturing parent to not only be perfect but to continue being so into your adulthood. you have great difficulty separating from them; you may never fully do it. it doesn’t matter if they actually lived to your expectations, for their importance is in your head - the parent you idealized or pretended they were. sometimes, however, this desire focuses on the home rather than the parent. in this case, the childhood home was either perfect, or mysterious and elusive. you can react by trying to re-create the exact same nest.

with this placement, nurturing yourself becomes the ultimate value, a way to find supreme satisfaction. you can also make the most amazing caretakers and companions. your need to nurture others is a complicated expression of your own hunger to be taken care of; you give too much and eventually become resentful when no one appreciates your (not asked for) sacrifices. you might also project neptunian traits onto your parent; they may be v spiritual and loving, vague and confusing, or even absent, so you were left w only a fantasy of what they could - and should - have been. they might have also been a victim (similar to pisces moon) and you might’ve felt obligated to save them. 

you feel like caring involves being swallowed up completely, and it’s something you either constantly yearn or are terrified of. you also feel if your (unrealistic) emotional security needs aren’t met, you won’t survive the disappointment (you did, and you will again). neptune in the 4th can make the most patient and loving parents, w a strong sense of their emotional bonding and spiritual responsibilities. you will do more to create an ideal parent/child relationship than anyone else and constantly remind others of how important it is to strive to be the best parent one can be.

neptune in the 5th house

this combo leads to a definite charisma, an aura of charm and power and importance (timothee, angelina, mlk, drake, etc). it’s a strong indication of some kind of acting ability, though it may be used as a teacher or a salesman rather than on stage. you’re likely to work in some area where applause and respect can be immediate and experienced personally. you need this; neptune undermines the self-confidence so you depend on others’ feedback to measure your worth. this can be a deadly dependency because even the highest praise and respect can truly fulfill the yearning to be loved unconditionally, only provide a temporary high, making you forever vulnerable.

some of the illusions related to this placement include the need to have perfect relationships and children, and the perfect artistic creation. whenever one expects perfection, they’re doomed to disappoitment, although the process of disillusionment may be needed to rethink your outlook on life. you may expect your love life to provide a complete sense of fulfillment. you can make a v romantic partner, the type to love cheesy romantic things and music, who can surround your lover with utmost affection. however, you might also expect them to sense your wishes and always meet them; or expect yourself to always be sensitive and caring at al times, regadless of your moods and/or needs.

you need to re-evaluate your tendency to romanticize lovers instead of seeing them for who they are. you may also harbor illusions towards children, your own or all, which hamper your ability to deal w them realistically and effectively. there’s a difficulty in developing a strong sense of self-worth, or maybe fancying yourself to be far more important than you really are. this placement is associated w a great deal of inspired creativity, however, and if other chart factors support it, it indicates exceptional artistic talent. with humility and self-awareness, you can use your magnetism to uplift those who have lost all confidence.

neptune in the 6th house

w this placement, neptune is in its polar opposite, since 6th house relates to virgo and neptune relates to pisces. this house is about the world as it is and how to manage it in a day-to-day basis. neptunian energy is the opposite: it yearns for and seeks to unite w the cosmos, which transcends this world. how can these two work this out?

when they’re well integrated in the chart, you can dream of neptune while using the practical 6th house skills to plan and organise the dream you wish to make true some day. it can direct the neptunian energy to envision something better, prettier, more creative and inspiring. without this, the 6th house is merely a housekeeping unit - a drive to organise and plan, but for what purpose? neptune supplies it with purpose and the house repays it with practical skills, usually related to some artistic work.

however, if the energies are at odds, there is the need to dream vs. the need to be practical and realistic. you feel a strong need to busy yourself w details and make everything as efficient as possible, tidying up and even criticising others (negative virgo energy). you may expect far too much from others and yourself, never able to say “no” when more work is piled on you. another expression is not being able to keep your shit together; you forget, are disorganized, feel tired and drained of energy, get sick often, or feel generally unfulfilled. my friend, for example, often seeks jobs for its glamorous aspects, only to get swamped by details and routine. 

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

People who hate on people for being kind and nice are those with eyes, yet they can't see, especially goodness. They forget that kindness and compassion are strong and very much valid traits instead of weakness, They use the person finally lashing out and showing anger as justification for their actions, because they're too dense and jealous to see that they're at fault, apparently. Just remember that you're a gentle and kind person and that is your biggest strength :3

I have read so many posts hating on characters like Deku or simply talking to them like they were pathetic? Or childish? Or like if they didn't know better? That's insane.

I see them ranting about "talk-no-jutsu" and mocking it and I feel sick. When did communicating a problem to search for a solution that makes everyone feel and be better turn into something bad?

Most shounens are creations for young people and they have a message, a message of hope most of the time. They defend the idea that we need to be kind to each other, that we need to care, that we need to communicate, that people can get better and change, that violence and wars generate victims everywhere and those victims become part of the machine of violence and war again.

There's a reason why these stories talk so much about families and friends, about good teachers and going through hard experiences without having to become cruel. They talk about how some "bad people" actually deserve help because they are human. They can change, it's not unrealistic or impossible. It happens in real life too.

I know that using angst to go through some trauma can be therapeutic. That's some basic catharsis from Greek tragedies, I know, we all know. But these stories can't focus on only the message that "things are bad". Things are bad BUT there's a way of working things out. There's a way of working it out together. There's hope, there's kindness, there's a possibility where love and goodness wins and lives to face another day.

I'm really really sorry to rant on your asks, anon. It's just that I'm very frustrated with how the system has brainwashed us so much that happy endings are "unrealistic" everywhere now

Lol, this whole rant to say that I'd die for Midoriya Izuku and defend the right of the League of Villains to be redeemed. But I guess that's it, I'm just a little mad that people sometimes talk about mangas like khr or mha like it's some squid game story. And oh Lord, the squid game thing is rant for another day.

Thank you so much for your support, anon. 🥺

Thank you for reading me and taking the time to send me some kind words. I was rsally needing them. Please remember to hydrate yourself, eat something if you haven't in a few hours, take your meds of you need to, go to sleep if it's late and you can afford it (or take a nap), and please remember you're a good person, a nice person, and you deserve all the good in the world. 💕✨

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

12.what headcanon will you keep implementing in your fics, even if canon ends up contradicting it?

Oh there are plenty that I keep on the back burner.

Membrane’s Grandparents were poor and/or farmers. 

I know in the latest issue it showed scientist parents... But I like to think the smartest man in the world had a more humble upbringing and his Dad had a very strong work ethic. 

The only thing I don’t really like about the Scientist parent idea that the comics showed really DOES mean that they KNEW what Uranium 238 was, knew that their son asked for it, and gave him a never-ending avalanche of socks for Christmas anyways and said it was from “Santa”

Like.... I assume so, Membrane...

Even then, When my parents personally did the Santa thing, Santa would give me the cool gifts, and then the lame gifts like socks were from the parents... 

I can’t help but view the gift of a sock-avalanche from SCIENTIST PARENTS as nothing but an act of mal-intent, even if the issue doesn’t frame it that way.

There’s also the issue of Membrane inheriting Membrane Labs from his parents when their faces are nowhere to be seen if Membrane just took the reigns of an already established company... Sure, maybe his parents made their son the face of their company like some sort of Wendys situation... but Membrane’s ADULT face is what the face of Membrane labs is...  Wouldn’t his parents use his cute child face for a brand? Even if the company had no branding or merch until Membrane took over the company it just leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

I MUCH PREFER the idea that Membrane built Membrane labs as a company from the ground up based entirely on tenacity, spite and his intelligence. 

The idea that the smartest man in the world just was BORN INTO this lifestyle of science puts a VERY sour taste in my mouth..

ESPECIALLY with the other characters in Invader Zim and in Johnen Vasquez work in general. Characters like Zim and Dib always work hard to get to where they want to be... and I like the idea that Membrane is the RESULT of putting in that hard work, but he completely neglected himself on a social and interpersonal relationship level. 

I’m sure the Scientist parents were meant as a joke to further compare to how Membrane and Dib are alike... and the generational cycle of abuse... and the mean-spirited joke of his parents gifting him socks does fit the IZ world... but I don’t like it.

If his parents were POOR or Farmers, or just didn’t have access to or couldn’t afford Uranium 238, THAT MAKES WAY MORE SENSE to me. 

Then it would seem like his parents did it more as a 

“He won’t ask for anything else.”  or “Naughty children only get socks” thing 

rather than a:

“Yeah, we know exactly what that is and have access to it... but our kid could blow his face off, so have a bunch of socks instead ya gremlin” 

I just like to think Membrane’s childhood was fairly humble, and he was a feral scientist child and really bright and his parents didn’t know how to handle him, and He was an extreme Mama’s boy. Also the Poor upbringing would explain his workaholic tendencies without having the Scientist parents. 

Sorry Eric Trueheart, you can pry “Poor upbringing” Membrane from my cold dead hands.

I will take those character designs and that Grandpa Membrane smoked a pipe though. Those are amazing. 

Zim’s Computer (and all other irken Computers) AI Brains used to be living Irkens before getting culled. 

I made an analysis about it on my old account, but I can’t find it cause Tumblr really screwed up the search engine on that account. But anyways... in two more chapters in Tech Support, we’ll get to find out Computer’s “tragic backstory” (tm) Like that chapter is coming after the current one I’m writing. 

Irken blood is Pink

I don’t care if Dark Green blood makes sense from a biological standpoint... I just need Vaperwave and Cyberpunk auestetics. It’s more of a visual thing.

I think Dib has the potential to grow into a real caring young man if he’s properly nurtured and learns how to grow and I possess a strong dislike “loser” Adult Dib.

I’m sure you know what I mean... Crackhead Adult Dib, Feral Adult Dib, Miserable adult Dib...

Nothing against those Dibs... It’s been shown on the record that Dib having a miserable adult future is probably what Johnen wants for his character. (The doodles and streams I’ve seen Johnen draw of his characters as adults as drug addicts or just working dead-end jobs wasn’t enough) 

I even like asshole kid Dib, and asshole teen Dib, but I really want to believe Dib will mellow out a lot when he gets older and learn how to be considerate. 

Maybe I’m being too unrealistic, and I know there is a MAJOR market for Rat-man Miserable Dib in this fandom... I’ve seen like so many versions of him. But it’s not for me.

I think it’s partially because Dib is exactly how I was as a kid, and I grew up to be a pretty mellow and caring person. (for the most part) 

I just want to see Dib to grow up to be chill and mostly happy. 

Zim is the most defective Irken in the history of the Irken Empire. HOWEVER: By human standards, Zim is fairly average, just neurodivergent. 

I know that I’ve seen some analysis on how Zim, “Almost works” and while I do agree, I still think that Zim is the most defective of his species. 

He’s the only one who caused the Control Brains on Judgementia to go insane and he tends to be a pariah and a liability to everyone around him. Caused the death of two Almighty Tallest and a majority of other things that take place throughout the show, comics and deleted episodes alike. The Comics even mentioned that Zim is completely delusional and has some core memory issues.

(I’ve never even explained how Zim perceives the Judgementia arc in my au yet simply cause he doesn’t want to talk about or mention it yet... ) 

But a lot of Zim’s issues or “insane”-ness as the Irken empire sees it are fairly Normal issues for humans. Zim is just marked as the “most” defective simply because a lot of his “symptoms” are actually just very normal autistic or borderline/bipolar things. And that’s probably what he’d get diagnosed with by human standards.

Zim just feels things too strongly and has a terrible delusional memory and obsessively lies to himself to try to fit the mold of what a perfect irken soilder should be (in his mind) 

I have a feeling some of Zim’s PAK errors can be things as simple as: “can’t sit still.” “first words: I love you” , “short attention span” “overly emotional” and that’s marked as major concern to the empire.

But there are more serious ones like “Corrupted Memory drive.” “destructive” “delusional” etc...

But a majority of the list of what makes Zim, Zim are VERY common autism traits...

so if you give him that human diagnosis and then just examine Zim under HUMAN standards....

He’s not that bad at all.... 

Irkens can purr, chitter, and make a variety of sounds very similar to ants chittering combined with a cat. But typically, only defective Irkens seem to make these noises, and my Zim makes more of these noises and reverts to more primitive irken behaviors when he feels he doesn’t need to keep up appearances to be “NORMAL” anymore. In Irken Standards or Human standards. 

Zim is a weird Irken and sometimes things he does is not indicative to how other irkens act or behave, even though Dib uses it as a framework for a lot of his research, but a majority of it is just wrong because it’s Zim. 

THE COMPUTER IS A CHARACTER TOO! LET HIM DO THINGS! EVEN IN THE BACKGROUND OR A SUPPORTING CAST MEMBER... PLEASE... (I will die on this hill) 

GIR is smart and extremely perceptive. Also a hill I die on. I got into this fandom writing a thousand word essay on GIR and I still stand by all those points. GIR is smart... he’s just feral. And GIR can tend to notice things other characters don’t just cause his world-view is so simple. Zim and Dib think like one of those Pipe Windows screen savers... While GIR thinks in a straight line. 

Zim would rather create a maze to go through to get the cheese, rather than GIR who would just not bother with the maze and eat the cheese. 

GIR has great moments of clarity throughout the show, such as in Plauge of Babies and Walk of Doom

“Dib’s seen us before and he knows where we live”

“But if the big splody goes fast, won’t it get all bad?” 

Anyways... I think that’s it... I probably have a whole lot more. But those are my main ones. 

[fluffymisha97]

Reasons NOT to date

(The story has the same style (ish) like another imagine recently posted - “Why not?”) Read ‘em or not :D 

Summary: Chris has been pursuing the reader, but the reader doesn’t want to complicate things and ruin their friendship.

 Warnings: Language 

“Come on, Y/N. This could be so great you know.”

You just rolled you eyes at him and looked straight ahead on the road as you drove home. Chris had been pursuing you for a while now and wouldn’t let it go. You had met him while working on a Marvel movie some years back and you instantly hit it off. As friends. But Chris had other plans. He wanted to go out with you. He wanted the full package.

“Chris please just stop. It’s not going happen.”

There was a part of you that had thought about a few times, but you also came to the same conclusion. It was too risky, and you cared too much about the friendship you had with Chris.

“Y/N, you said yourself. I’m a great guy, sweet, good looking, understanding, funny as hell. AND I’m not cable of lying, woman dig that.”

You laughed.

“God you’re so humble, Chris so humble.”

“Y/N, you know you want to.”

He wiggled his eyebrows saying this.

“You know what Chris. I’m going to show you my list then and hopefully you’ll move on from the nonsense. Grab my phone and go to the notepad.”

“So bossy, I like it. How many men would like that tone? Huh, Y/N.”

You were about to tell him the pin when you quickly saw that he was already in your phone. He smirked at you. Sneaky ass.

“You seriously need a new password Y/N.”

You hated that he knew you so well.

“These’re just words Y/N, I need further explanation.”

“Fine Chris. If you insist. Number 1 reason or point is our friendship. One that I like too much to lose because of a possible failure to launch as a couple. Things would be too weird and awkward you know it too. I really don’t have a lot of male friendships and I kind of want to keep those that I have. Our friendship means so much to me.”

“Okay fair point but you know that a relationship is only friends that sleep together and…”

“Shut it Chris. Moving on to number. 2.”

“The age gap? Are you for real Y/N? It sounds like there’s 30 years between us and not 7 years.”

“It’s 8 or actually almost 9 years mr. Brainy  and yes it’s one of the reasons. Because you and I are in completely different stages of our lives. You’ve said yourself. You want to settle down, get married and have children…I’m nowhere near that point and who’s to say that I even will get there…Ever. Right now, it’s more than enough with my nieces and nephews, it’s enough for me. I know that having children is a deal-breaker for you Chris.”

You thought that it would be the end of this unrealistic discussion when you shared your thoughts about children. And Chris looked to be in a deep thought afterwards but only for a short time.

“Well you’re right and wrong about the whole children and marriage. But it’s not a vital necessity for me and besides who’s to say that you won’t change your mind about it. I can wait.”

Chris smiled at you showing his dimples. Calm and collected and didn’t budge at all. You rolled your eyes and went to continue.

“Number 3 distance. Wow how would we ever find a solution for that? Oh wait, I know. There’s something called airplanes that flies you from country to country. It’s settled, nr.3 is not a problem.”

“Chris, we normally live on different continents. It’ll be so much work trying to get together with your job due to travelling so much and barely any free time. Plus, I’m not as rich as a certain someone so I can’t afford flying out to see you whenever you would want me to. See, very problematic.”

“This is not mission impossible. We can find a solution easily. Next.”

“The whole famous part. You have a certain reputation to uphold and then there’s a possibility of having to keep this thing a secret and I don’t know if I want to or if we should. And then if something like this whole lily James thing comes up. I aint going take any part in that. Chris. It’s just a lot of Hollywood stuff. I’m just me.”

“Can I just say that if we were dating those kinds of things would never be an issue. I would protect you of course. If you wanted it out in the open then okay and if not, then yes it would be hard work maybe but if it’s you. It’ll be worth it.”

You felt your heart melt a little bit right then and there. You cleared your throat and wanted to move on from this conversation. It made you uncomfortable how Chris had an answer or a solution for each point you made. And you felt your list becoming more and more irrelevant. Chris sat looking outside the window while humming a little tune. Not a care in the world. You pulled into Chris’s driveway and shut off the car so you could turn to Chris.

“You’re going to have a counterargument for each point, that I make, aren’t you?”

Chris only laughed and flashed you a dreamy smile.

“Yeah. It’s because I’m that good. Here’s the deal Y/N. You don’t like my beard, consider it gone. You dig it, I’ll let it grow. You think me too skinny; I can bulk up. If I’m too bulky than I’ll…do something about that. You name it.”

You had to admit that he seemed invested and serious about it. But you weren’t sold quite yet.

“Okay mister ‘I have answer for everything’, why do you want to date me, truly?I know that you could have any woman that you want. So, why me?”

Chris stilled for a brief moment before looking straight in your eyes.

“Because you’re you. You challenge me in so many ways. You make me want to be better. In case you didn’t notice I’m just happier whenever I’m around you. There’s this feeling whenever you’re close to me. And I would like that feeling…every day. But most importantly because you’ve made a dumb list of reasons not to which is soo you. And I really like you.”

Chris grabbed your hand and brought it up to his mouth so he could press a gentle kiss on you knuckles. You felt yourself blush.

“So, can I take you on a date?”

“No.”

Chris’s smile fell as his heart dropped.

“In case you didn’t notice there’s a pandemic happening. So, restaurants and such is actually off-limits. But you can invite me inside for coffee or dinner, your choice.”

You gave him a smile before hopping out the car as Chris let out a huge sigh in relief and exited the vehicle. You held out your hand to him, which he gladly took and led you inside.

[quicksilversquared]

Move to Safety

After Adrien just happens to spy Nooroo in his father's office, he's sent into an panic. His father is Hawkmoth, which means that Adrien is in serious danger.

Thankfully the Dupain-Chengs are more than willing to step up to the plate and lend a helping hand.

links in the reblog

Adrien didn't know what he was going to do. He paced, he grabbed at his hair, he made a couple stabs at making plans to run away but found big, gaping holes in his plans almost immediately when he actually managed to take a half-step back and look at them again.

His father was Hawkmoth, and Adrien Was Not Dealing.

"I can't sleep here, what if he finds out about me?" Adrien asked frantically for the twenty-fifth time, carding his fingers through his hair. "Or what if he already knows? What if he suspects something and decides to put up a camera on my window? What if-"

"Okay, first of all, I do check for things like cameras and hidden microphones all the time," Plagg said loudly, cutting through Adrien's panicked fog for the first time in- well, for the first time in however many minutes it had been that Adrien had been freaking out. "There aren't any over here or any even pointed in this direction, which is a bit odd considering how often you sneak out but maybe it's because people can't really sneak in this way. Second of all- can't you move out? You were planning on doing that when you went to university anyway, right?"

Adrien nodded, then shook his head. "I'm too young to move out yet, I still have a few months before I'll even be able to sign a lease. And if I move out right away- then he'll know that something is up. It's better not to arouse any suspicions, but I don't want to be close enough for him to get any suspicions about me."

"He's had years to get suspicious about you, though," Plagg countered. "It's not like you just started being Chat Noir."

"Yeah, well, I've had years to get suspicious about him, too, and look at where we are now!"

Plagg looked. His usually picture-perfect Chosen was a frazzled mess in the middle of his room, hair sticking up oddly from him pulling at it so much. He could see where Adrien had been pacing in the carpet, the little loops scuffed more than the ones around them. Scattered pages of notes from his half-baked plans covered the top of the desk, some things circled and others crossed out (and some circled and then crossed out).

It was a somewhat unsettling picture.

"Okay, so first of all, don't let on that anything is different," Plagg said, because apparently he had to be the cool-headed thinker between the two of them now. "If you do, your father will investigate. Second of all, you have locks on your doors, right? Lock them at night."

Adrien shook his head. "It won't make a difference. Father has the keys to all of the rooms. At best, I could set an alarm so that I would wake up if someone came in, but that would be hard to do without anyone noticing. What if I set it at night, had to go out for a morning akuma attack and forgot about it, and one of the maids tried to come in? Then the alarm would go off and Father would be so confused and annoyed and would investigate and-"

Plagg watched, unimpressed. "I think pigtails is wearing off on you with the over-the-top unrealistic panic scenarios."

"They aren't unrealistic! You've seen what Father is like. Paranoid and controlling and- he's a supervillain, Plagg, it's not unrealistic for him to notice something off in the room and wonder about it and then he would try to lock me down even more while he tries to figure out what's going on and why I have an alarm system set up on the interior doors of my room."

...his Chosen had a good point. So Plagg sighed, floated down to desk level, and actually gave it some more thought.

Tikki would be so proud of him right now.

"Okay, so you'll definitely have to tell Ladybug sooner rather than later," Plagg started, because while the discovery was earth-shattering for Adrien, he still had to think like a superhero. "And then, uh..."

Yeah, so maybe he was coming up a little blank.

"Yeah, that was about as far as I got, too," Adrien said moodily, flopping down in his desk chair and spinning around. "I mean, once I turn eighteen and can rent a place, I could just escape at night and run over there to sleep. As long as I set an alarm every night, I should be able to get back here before anyone notices that I'm gone. And I would only need to buy a mattress to keep over there, at least until I move out for good. And at least I can afford it," he added. "All of the money from my modeling and commercials and all the other stuff that I've done- that's in my account, and no one can take it from me. I made sure that the account was entirely in my name last year, when I started thinking about moving out. Neither Father nor Nathalie can touch the money in there, I made sure of that."

That still left several months between now and then which- well, again, not ideal. Maybe they would defeat his father before then, since they knew where to find him now, but if they didn't...

"Lots of sleepovers with friends, maybe?" Plagg suggested weakly. Adrien laughed, then sighed.

"Yeah, I wish. I think Nino might start to wonder if I showed up at his house every night for three and a half months, though. And his parents might call Father, and I don't want that." Adrien slumped in his chair again, then straightened with a yelp when he caught sight of the time. "Oh! Crud, I'm meant to be going over to Marinette's house today so we can all hang out today. I don't want to be late for that. C'mon, Plagg, let's go!"

  Adrien was undeniably, irrefutably, most definitely feeling off. And it was showing. He had lost the last three games of Mecha Strike to Nino, of all people- and he had lost badly. Thankfully his friends seemed willing enough to write it off to exhaustion from too many photoshoots instead of interrogating him on his distraction, and so Adrien got off scot-free.

That wasn't good if he was so obviously distracted, though. Nathalie would see through his squirrely behavior in an instant. She knew that he didn't have an overly loaded schedule- well, no more loaded than it usually was, at least- and she would be more likely to ask question.

He wondered if she knew about his father. She had to, right? There was no way that she could miss it when she was working in the same room as him day in and day out-

-she was Mayura, wasn't she. The thought hit Adrien like a brick wall, and he swallowed hard, feeling a little ill. His father was his family and Nathalie had been like family and they were the supervillains terrorizing Paris, the ones that he had to fight against almost every other day.

He was going to be sick.

How Adrien made it through the rest of his get-together with his friends, he didn't know. It seemed like time flashed by in an instant and then Nino and Alya were leaving, headed out the door together arm-in-arm and without a care in the world. Adrien was about to follow them- now that he was nearly eighteen, he was actually allowed to walk between Marinette's house and his own instead of having the Gorilla drive him for the few short blocks- when a slender hand slid around his wrist, stopping him before he could get more than a couple steps. Confused, Adrien blinked and turned around to see Marinette staring up at him, concern written across her face.

"Something is bothering you, isn't it?" Marinette asked, tugging Adrien gently away from the door and letting it close. "You've been off the entire time that you've been here."

Adrien tried for a smile. "It's nothing, just photoshoots-"

"You haven't had a photoshoot in three days, and you were just fine after the last one," Marinette shot back, and belatedly Adrien remembered that oh, right, Marinette had an open invitation to all of his photoshoots and knew when they were. "And if you were tired, you would have passed out on the couch while we were playing games. Instead, you were almost fidgeting out of your skin. And you suddenly got more distracted partway through- you looked like you were about to be sick."

"Start-of-summer cold?" Adrien offered up weakly. Marinette looked even less convinced, brow furrowed with concern as she gazed up at him. All of a sudden, Adrien couldn't do it anymore.

"My father is Hawkmoth," Adrien confessed in a rush, practically collapsing in on himself. "I was passing by his office today and I saw him talking to Noor- to his kwami, and it was a butterfly, and then he pulled off his necktie and was rubbing this brooch underneath it and why would he hide any jewelry if it weren't the Miraculous? And Nathalie knows, she has to, she's in the same office all day and she has to be Mayura and I'm living in the same house as two supervillains and I can't move out for a year without them getting suspicious and what am I meant to do?"

Marinette looked rather as though she had been hit by a truck, she was so surprised. Adrien winced.

...he definitely could have broken the news better. Maybe she wouldn't want to be near him now, because it would be dangerous to be near the son of a supervillain even though he wasn't a supervillain, he was a superhero, and wasn't that ironic? He had to fight against his own father.

That was really, really messed up.

Marinette's expression shifted from startled to confused, and Adrien heard her mumble "But how does he know what-?" before her grip suddenly tightened around his wrist and she turned his hand, just enough to see his ring glinting in the sun. She let a tiny oh, and suddenly Adrien knew without question that somehow she had just figured out his secret identity.

A soft thud behind them caught Adrien's attention next, and both he and Marinette swung around in time to see Mr. Dupain startle, righting his tray before another loaf of bread could fall off. His gaze returned to Adrien as soon as he had ensured that all of the bread was safe, and- okay, apparently Marinette's dad had overheard him.

He hadn't planned on letting people know, let alone this many. Marinette's family was perfectly normal and completely functional and he shouldn't be burdening them with his family's problems. But now Mr. Dupain was setting down his tray to come over and wrap Adrien up in a hug, and when had Marinette started hugging him? Adrien couldn't help but stiffen up in surprise at first, before practically collapsing into the hug.

Adrien hadn't been hugged like this for so long. Two sets of arms wrapped around him, and Marinette's hands were rubbing up and down his back. It was absolute unquestioning acceptance, and Adrien couldn't even manage to be embarrassed about the tears that he could definitely feel starting to leak down his cheeks. Marinette's cheek was pressed against his, and she clearly had no reservations about holding him close.

"Does your father know that you found out about him?" Mr. Dupain asked, pulling back but only enough so that he could see Adrien. "Or doesn't he know?"

"He doesn't know," Adrien said at once. After all, he hadn't lingered much in the atrium once he saw the kwami- Nooroo, Plagg had called him- before making a hasty (and quiet) escape to his room. In fact, he wouldn't be 100% sure of what he had seen if it weren't for the fact that Plagg had seen it, too, and had even zipped back to try to eavesdrop for a bit. "I left right away, and he wasn't facing the door. But I just- I can't believe that I've been sleeping under the same roof as a supervillain. Two supervillains, if you count Nathalie."

"You don't feel safe sleeping there anymore, do you?" Mr. Dupain asked at once. He was frowning. "I know that I wouldn't."

Adrien nodded, burying his face in Marinette's hair and trying not to sound like he was about to cry. He was pretty certain that he wasn't succeeding. Also, he was definitely getting snot all over her hair, and he would have to apologize for that later. "Yeah. I was planning on moving out once I started university, and of course I can get an apartment once I reach my birthday and then just sneak out to sleep there, but I would have to wait for that."

"And it's very possible that your landlord would still reach out to your father," Mr. Dupain said, and Adrien's head flew up in alarm to stare at him in alarm. He had only done a little research on apartments, enough to figure out that he had to legally be an adult to rent without a guardian's signature, but he had a source of income and a savings account of his own and surely that would be enough, right?

Marinette was frowning, too. "But surely if he asked the landlord not to say anything, they wouldn't?"

Her dad shook his head. "Not necessarily. I assume that you would pick something small and relatively cheap, at least for the time being," he said to Adrien, and Adrien nodded in confirmation. He didn't want to spend too much money right away, after all. "Right. Some of those landlords- well, they're not the best, to say the least. They would know that you come from money and they might try to exploit that. It's not legal, and all you would have to do to get them to back off if they were trying to push for more than what's in the lease is report it, but if something like that happens or you forget to pay on time they might go to your father, and once is all you need for him to find out."

Adrien nodded, his heart sinking.

"And frankly- Adrien, you're still a teenager. You're still a kid. You shouldn't have to be spending your money on essentials yet, and I'm not comfortable with letting you do that." Mr. Dupain glanced towards the bakery, where Mrs. Cheng was still working the front counter. "I'd have to discuss it with Sabine, of course, but- Adrien, we do have a guest room that rarely ever gets used."

Adrien's jaw was practically on the floor at the implied offer as soon as it sunk in. "I- I mean, that would be- are you sure?"

Mr. Dupain smiled, clapping Adrien on the shoulder. "You're a kind young man, Adrien. If you don't feel safe at home, we'd be more than happy to help. I will have to tell Sabine about your father, though, to convince her that we're actually helping and not just trying to steal you away from your family. Not that she would be entirely opposed to that, of course."

If it would get him a place to stay at night, that was fine. He would just have to trust that the Dupain-Chengs wouldn't get akumatized before he and Ladybug could take Hawkmoth down. "Of course."

"Good, good." Mr. Dupain gave Adrien's shoulder a squeeze before stepping back and picking up his tray of bread again. "Why don't you two head back upstairs then? If you can stay for dinner, Adrien, then maybe we can discuss how this is all going to work out?"

Adrien nodded obediently, glancing back towards Marinette. He certainly wouldn't mind staying longer- the Dupain-Cheng home was so warm and friendly, so very unlike his own- and he also had a few things that he needed to discuss with Marinette. Namely, the fact that she had figured out that he was Chat Noir.

Somehow.

Adrien's mind was racing as he and Marinette headed back upstairs. He was trying to figure out where to start. Should he try to deny her discovery? Would she even believe him if he tried? Something told him no.

"We're going to have to figure out how to time things so that your father doesn't catch on," Marinette said as she ushered Adrien back upstairs towards their living room. She sent him a sharp look. "Though I suppose that you being able to just slip in and out from your window makes things easier."

...yeah, he wasn't even going to try to deny his secret identity. Marinette hadn't phrased it as a question. She knew.

Adrien sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. Ladybug wasn't going to be happy about someone finding out his secret identity, but at least- well, at least they knew Hawkmoth's identity, too, so an end to this whole fight was in sight. Hopefully. "Yeah, it makes things a lot easier. But speaking of that..."

Marinette glanced up at him. "Yes?"

"We really need to talk."

[thereisnochillinsideme]

The rain, Akaashi Keiji part two

I'm sorry it's been such a long time I've just had some stuff going on but here it is, part two. I also think @bakudummy asked to be tagged, if you didn't ask me to I'm sorry please tell me I'll take it off anyway enjoy! Akaashi was currently locked in a debate between himself and himself. While one side was telling him that it would be fine if he visited [Name] and Takahashi in normal clothing while the other was telling him that they weren’t close enough and that he was required to wear a three-piece suit. The first side then argued back that they might think he’s rude if he showed up for a cup of hot chocolate in formal wear. In the end, he decided that after picking [Name] and her cake off the street and getting her to Takahashi’s apartment, what he wore probably mattered the least to either of them right now and settled on a cotton T-shirt. He made his way out of his apartment and knocked on the door to his right, which was opened by Takahashi. He hadn’t usually seen her like this. She had changed out of the pencil skirt she so usually wore to work and was currently in a sweater and leggings. She also looked surprised to see Akaashi in anything but his work wear. She let him in and went back to the stove, where the milk for the hot chocolate was bubbling on the stove. He saw [Name] spread out on an armchair, now changed out of her wet clothes. She saw him and immediately perked up, changing her position to see him better. He took a seat on the couch across from her. She gave him a smile and immediately began speaking to him.

“Stoneface-san! Feeling better?”

“Yes, much better. How about you?”

She smiled. “I’m doing great! I got my cake, I got to meet you, I got to see Yo-chan, and now she’s making me hot chocolate!”

Akaashi smiled at the childlike elation she had at the situation she was in. She was an optimist to the bone.

He was a bit jealous of her, though he didn’t realize it. He was jealous of people like her. They didn’t have a care in the world, complete confidence in themselves. And people like him or Takahashi were following them around making sure nothing happened to them because, jaded and anxious as they were, they didn’t want that optimism to fade. It gave them strength too. It reminded him of the former captain of his high school volleyball team. Bokuto-san’s confidence was a force to be reckoned with and now there he was, playing professionally on a world stage.

Takahashi walked over with two mugs of hot chocolate, setting them on the coffee table that separated him and [Name]. [Name]’s smile grew wider upon seeing the drink and she happily picked it up and immediately took a big sip.

Immediately she started coughing.

“Ah barned mah tahnge.” She said, with her tongue hanging out.

Takahashi and Akaashi started laughing in unison as [Name] also began laughing with her tongue still hanging out.

“Why are you laughing? You burned your tongue?” Akaashi asked through chuckles.

“It is funny,” [Name] said through sips of cold water to soothe her tongue.

Time was spent happily drinking hot chocolate while [Name] told them jokes and stories.

Putting down his mug, Akaashi looked at [Name].

“[Name]-san, I’ve been meaning to ask your full name, as I didn’t get it when I met you.”

[Name] smiled. “[Last Name] [Name]”

Akaashi did a double take. “I’ve been calling you by your first name this whole time? That’s incredibly disrespectful as we don’t know each other well”

“It’s fine, Stoneface-san. I’ve never liked using my surname as it puts a formality barrier between me and who I’m talking to. Please use my first name.”

Akaashi nodded in acceptance. “So [Name], what do you do for work?”

She winked. “If I told you it would be no fun. It’s your job to guess. Your hint is that I’m in the creative field.” After many consecutive wrong guesses, [Name] changed the subject and started telling them what had happened to her at the train station that morning. As they laughed, Akaashi began to realize how much fun he was having.

It had been a long time since he had done anything like this. He maintained a strictly professional relationship with his coworkers and Bokuto-san was not free most of the time with having gone professional. He would come by and have a drink with Akaashi ever so often, but Bokuto-san usually found himself leaving early to spend more time with Shoyo. Akaashi didn’t mind that he was branching out and he knew that their adult life was definitely going to impact their friendship. However, it was not after he lost them that he realized just how much he cherished the carefree days on the volleyball team, how he would chase Bokuto-san around with an umbrella to stop him from getting wet in the rain.

It was probably why he spent so many late nights at work, trying to quiet his mind by occupying it. His high school friends were all busy with their own lives, he felt he should be as well.

“Stoneface-san?” He heard

He snapped out of his daze and saw [Name] staring at him, slightly concerned.

“Are you okay? Your stare was really blank and you didn’t laugh when I told you about when I threw a squid tentacle at the guy who came to collect my taxes.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I guess I’m just feeling a bit tired. I also have some work due tomorrow, so do you mind if I take my leave?”

Takahashi looked at him, obviously concerned, but trying to hide it. “Yes of course, I’ll show you to the door.”

She walked him over to the door of the apartment and opened it, letting him go through.

“Thank you for looking after [Name] today, I’m sorry if she was a bit of an inconvenience. It was nice to have you both over, we should do it again sometime.”

Akaashi nodded, thanked her, and went inside his own apartment.

He didn’t mean to leave so abruptly, but he wasn’t lying, he did have work.

He made his way to the small desk by the window of his apartment and sat down, picking up the large, stapled sheet of paper by his window.

Today, his work was a bit more enjoyable than usual. He was editing one of his more favorite comics that was published in his magazine. Asuma no Sekai was a comic set in a demon world, with the main character being an incredibly lazy demon who preferred eating cake to doing her job. The crazy schemes she pulled to get out of doing her job were sometimes more work than doing the actual job and always made the reader laugh. Editing it was a more favorable part of Akaashi’s week and it never failed to lift his mood. The author was Sakurai Daisuke. He had never met the author in person as he usually sent someone else to pick up his manuscript, but he looked forward to meeting someone who was such a good mangaka.

After spending a couple hours reading, laughing, and editing the work, Akaashi went to bed as he had work the next morning.

[Name] had left on the first train that morning and though Akaashi was slightly mournful that he didn’t get to say goodbye, he continued on with his day like normal.

As the week went by, [Name] occupied Akaashi’s thoughts slightly more than a normal person would. He would pass by the cake shops in his area and wonder if she would enjoy the one in the display window. He was confused by why he was thinking about her so often, but chalked it up to the fact that there were a lot of cake shops in his area.

Later that week, on an afternoon while he was home, Akaashi got a call from his employee, Okomoto Chiyo. She sounded extremely distressed.

“Akaashi-san! I’m so so sorry to bother you!”

“It’s okay, what do you need?”

“My wife is sick and I’m home taking care of her. I was supposed to pick up Sakurai-san’s manuscript today, but Nanako’s been throwing up all day and I can’t afford to leave her now. Do you mind picking it up?”

Akaashi was slightly annoyed, as he had just gotten home. However, he knew that he couldn’t possibly ask his employee to leave her sick wife.

“It’s completely okay. May I have Sakurai-san’s address? At least I can finally meet him.”

“It’s xxx-xxx on the other side of the city. The train will be able to get you there really fast. Sakurai-san should have completed her manuscript by now.”

“Her?” Akaashi was confused

“Sakurai Daisuke is a pen-name. The author is female. She picked a male name to sound more ambiguous.”

“Oh, that comes as a bit of a surprise.”

“Thank you so much for doing this, Akaashi-san! I am forever grateful to you.”

“It’s no problem.”

Akaashi looked out his window and toward the train station which was a couple blocks away. It was raining.

As he turned, his eyes fell on a now-dry neon yellow umbrella. He must have forgotten to give it back to [Name].

He picked up the umbrella, put on a long brown coat, and ran out his apartment door.

He was able to make it onto the train last minute, sitting on the seat in relief. As the train moved along, he thought about what the author might be like.

Thinking about it now, it was fairly obvious that this author wasn’t like most of the male authors Akaashi’s company had published.

There was barely any fan service in the series and the author made sure to write her female characters just as realistic and flawed as her male characters. Most of the male authors drew one woman with an unrealistic body and made her show up every now and then to rip her clothes off and leave. Sakurai-san’s female characters had personalities and all different body shapes, some bigger or smaller, darker or lighter, more like the women he would see in the real world.

The train announced his stop and he walked out, looking at the paper where he jotted down the address.

He navigated his way through the twists and turns until he finally got to the apartment building.

He entered and went to the specified floor and found the correct door.

As he raised his hand to knock, Akaashi suddenly felt a bit nervous to meet this author who he borderline idolized, especially when he found out he was wrong about her gender the whole time.

Nevertheless, his hand tapped lightly on the door twice and he heard footsteps rush to open it.

What he saw behind the door was definitely not what he expected.

[Name] was peeking out, wearing a large animal onesie, holding a plate of cake with a plastic fork.

“Stoneface-san?"

[kpop---scenarios]

First Time

Commissioned by: @mon-dayragingslut4monstaxday6​

Pairing: Minhyuk x Reader

Warning: Smut, Unprotected Sex

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: I hope you enjoy!!!

"..It won't be weird, you know? It's just one bestfriend, helping out another best friend to bring up his confidence and lose his virginity." Minhyuk says, clearing his throat awkwardly while avoiding eye contact. 

"Might me momentarily awkward." You fake cough. "But really, Minnie, if you can't even look me in the eye and ask me to sleep with you, how are you actually going to do it? We've been friends for 8 years, I've seen a lot and this would be nothing." You snicker, rolling your eyes. 

"Because it's intimate." He harshly whispers. 

Your cheeks turn bright red at his embarrassment. This is the man you've been in love with for the last 7.5 years. The man who has yet to lose his virginity at the age of 24, the man who gets embarrassed when talking about sex. You shouldn't love him, but you do, with everything you have. 

"When did you have in mind?" You groan, but internally you're excited. You wont lie, there's a part of you that's terrified to do this. What if things become weird between the two of you, or everything gets ruined? Is it a chance you're willing to take? 

Absolutely. You'd felt on occasions that Minhyuk might have shown some kind of signs of liking you back but you need to be convinced enough to admit your feelings to him. Maybe now this was your chance? 

"Tonight. 8pm, don't be late and don't show up hammered either." He chuckles. A part of you knows he's joking but yet the other part, a much larger part knows he's being dead serious too. There have been more times than you'd like to admit where you showed up drunk to important events. You didn't like being nervous and alcohol soothed your nerves. 

"Don't worry, I'll be sober." You yell as Minhyuk walks out of your apartment. 

You had to be painfully sober for this if it was going to happen correctly. You couldn't afford any mistakes, it was now or never for Minhyuk to know how you felt. 

** 

You stare at the countdown on your phone as the time gets closer to 8pm. 

7:58pm 

Take a deep breath.

7:59pm

Knock on the door. 

You raise your hand, preparing to knock on the door but it won't move anymore. Maybe this is a mistake? Sleeping with your bestfriend is usually not the smartest idea, especially when it comes to keeping a friendship. These things tend to never end well, but on the other hand, do you really want to suffer for how many more years of being in love with him and him not knowing. Then you run the risk of him finding someone else, falling in love and you watching him be happy and live a life that should have been with you but instead it's with someone else. 

Knock 

Knock 

Knock 

You weren't willing to chance it. You needed to know if you could have that life, your dream of happily ever after. It was a possibility that was so close. 

"Hey." Minhyuk smiles as he opens the door. You walk into his apartment, his living room is cluttered with lit candles, the lights dim. Laid on the table were two glasses along with a bottle of wine, you hoped was for you. 

"What happened to sober?" You ask, nodding your head towards the wine. 

"Ease the nerves, not get black out drunk." He laughs. "Come sit." He smiles, patting the cushion on the couch next to him.

Quietly, you sit down, placing your purse on the floor before laying your jacket across the arm of the couch. You're wearing a small black dress, with something special underneath for Minhyuk. A sexy red piece of lingerie, his favorite colour. 

"Would you like a glass?" He asks. Eagerly you nod your head, feeling less weird now that you're here. 

The entire time you had been thinking about it, you had failed to remember that this was Minhyuk's first time, but not yours. You were going to have to take the reins, show him what to do and how to do it. If anyone was going to be nervous, it would be him. 

Minhyuk hands you a glass of wine, with what you could only describe as a droplet inside. "The fuck?" You question, looking from the wine to him. "Is this? What do I do with this? I need more, please." You finish holding your glass out in front of you. 

"No getting drunk." Minhyuk warned. "One glass to ease yourself, that's what was said." He tells you. 

"Uh yes a glass, not half a splash, don't be cheap." You smile. 

Minhyuk groans as he pours you now half a glass, as well as himself. He and you down it in one gulp. 

"Okay. So.." you begin before he cuts you off. 

"Come here and sit on my cock, baby. Let me spit in your eye." Minhyuk grunts in a weird deep voice, causing you to choke on your own spit. 

"What?" You ask. 

"Is that not what they say? I've watched a lot of porn you know, Y/N. I do know a thing or two." He smirks. 

"You know a thing or two.. from the unrealistic porn that's like super over dramatic and not very real?" You point out. "Also, what kind of porn are you watching?" 

"I.. well.." he stutters before you wave him off. 

"I don't want to know." You laugh as you get yo and walk towards him. 

Minhyuk stands up, facing you. Your head is pounding while your heart races as you think about the fact you're going to kiss him right now. You wondered if it would be weird, or if he's thought about kissing you? 

You stand in front of him, looking him in the eye as you slowly lean forward, your eyes eventually drifting to his lips instead. 

You finally close your eyes as you press your lips against his, waiting for him to laugh or push you away. But he didn't. Instead he wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you in closer. Your mouth moves in sync with his, as he slides his tongue into your mouth in one swift try. 

You have to admit, you're impressed with his kissing skills, considering he hasn't had much practice. 

"Now what?" He kind of murmurs, his lips barely leaving yours while not even opening his eyes. 

"We need to undress. So take mine, and I'll unbutton yours." You tell him. 

Minhyuk reaches his hands down to the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head and throwing it behind him onto the floor. 

"Nice." He chuckles, staring at your tits while you unbutton his shirt. 

Once you slide it from his body, you tell him to take off your bra. 

"Uh." He mumbles as his hands stay in the air, unsure of where to go, or how to do it. 

"And you've claimed to watch a lot of porn." You scoff. "In the back. The clasp."

"Ah yes. Well they usually already have titties bouncing when I arrive to watch, so.." he tells you, unclasping your bra with one hand on the first try. "Boom." He shouts. 

"Beginners luck." You scoff. 

"Now what?" He asks. 

"Now, most girls enjoy this, but sometimes you might want to wait for them to tell you to do it unless you know they like it. Suck." You say, pointing down at your breast.

Minhyuk smirks just a bit before he cups your breast and lowers his head, taking your nipple into his mouth and sucking. 

"Mhm." You moan. 

Minhyuk can feel his cock twitch in his pants. 

He let's go with a pop, your face showing just how horny you were now. 

"Pants off." You say, pulling down your yoga pants while Minhyuk scrambles to discard his jeans.  

The two of you head over to the bedroom where you lay down on the bed and Minhyuk just stands there. 

"Is it fucking time?" He asks. 

"Foreplay. You need to fool around for a bit before you get to it unless it's a quickie, but we aren't doing that." You tell him. 

"So not like the porns. They just get right to it." He sighs. 

"Again, not real. Get down here." You tell him. "You can either rub my clit or lick my pussy, your choice. Most times the girl will tell you what they want." You say. 

"What do you want." He asks. 

"Lick my pussy." You say, spreading your legs. 

Minhyuk gets settled in between your legs, spreading your lips with his fingers before giving a few kitten licks. 

"Don't be afraid too…" you begin before Minhyul wraps his lips around your clit and begins sucking. 

"Oh god." You cry out, your hands gripping the sheets. You weren't entirely sure what he was doing to you but it felt phenomenal. "Two fingers.." you moan but he was one step ahead of you, already inserting two fingers inside you. 

"Shit. Fuck. Yes, just like that." You cry, arching your back. 

Minhyuk hadn't realized how good it would make him feel to see someone squirming under him, moaning his name like that. Now he just wanted to rail you. 

"Stop. Stop stop." You cry. Minhyuk lifts his head and pulls his fingers out of you, looking at you like he had done something wrong. "I don't want to cum yet." You explain. 

He understood, but not really. 

"On your back." You demand. "Have you ever had your dick sucked?" You ask. 

He shakes his head no. 

Excellent. 

You pull his boxers from his body, throwing them somewhere across the room. You're impressed by the length and width of his cock, a very good size. 

Licking your lips, you bend your head down, shoving his cock down your throat. 

"Holy fuck." He yells, his legs twitching. "Fuck." He grunts. 

You place your hand on the base of his cock, pumping him while you swirl your tongue around the tip, causing him to moan loudly while you lick up some pre cum. 

"Please stop, but don't stop, but stop." He groans. 

"Which one is it?" You ask, taking a small break. 

"If you don't stop I will cum." He admits. 

"Okay, so.." you begin but are cut off. 

"Now it's fucking time." Minhyuk excitedly says. 

"What position?" You ask. 

"Uhh.. regular? You know, normal.." he mumbles. 

"Missionary? Cow girl? Doggy? Reverse cowgirl?" You ask, just naming off a few. 

"Doggy?" He asks. You nod your head and get onto all fours, putting your head onto the mattress. 

"Yeah that's right." He grunts. "You gonna take my cock like the whore you are? Dirty fucking slut..face..slut" He says, landing a hard smack on your ass. 

"What the fuck." You partially laugh. 

"Is that not okay?" He wonders. 

"Make sure whoever you're fucking is okay with being called names. Personally I love it, but also have confidence. Slut face slut? Not your finest." You tell him. 

"Fair enough." He agrees, clearing his throat. He lines his cock up with your pussy before slowly pushing himself into you. 

"Oh.. holy.. shit.. so tight." He moans as he enters you fully. "Feels.. amazing." He grunts, tightly gripping onto your hips. 

"Now fuck me." You whine, grinding yourself against him. 

Minhyuk slowly pulls himself out of you before pushing back in, moaning loudly each time.

"Faster." You groaned, and needed him to slam himself into you. 

"I don't want to hurt you." He whispers. 

"I'll tell you if I'm hurting or not, until then rail me hard." You say. 

It was like a switch inside Minhyuk was flicked. He began to pound his cock into you, his nails and fingertips digging into your hips so hard you knew there would be bruises. 

"God yes" you cry. "Pull my hair." 

Without hesitation, Minhyuk grabs a clump of your hair, yanking your head back as he continues to ram you. 

When he let's go, your head hits the mattress once again. You reach down in between your legs to rub your clit while you have your ass as high in the air as you can for Minhyuk. 

Without you needing to ask, he lands another hard smack on your ass, sending shivers down your spine. 

"You like that, baby?" He grunts, fucking you raw. 

You liked it even more when he called you baby. 

"Yes." You moan. 

"Yes what?" He snaps.

You'd never pictured him as a daddy type, but then again you never really know. 

"Yes daddy." You moan.

"Fuck do I love that. Good little cock whore." He grunts. "You gonna cum for me?" He asks. 

"Shit. Yes daddy." You cry out, your fingers rubbing fast allowing your orgasm to come quickly. 

"Cum baby, cum for me." He yells and you do. As your orgasm washes through your body, you cry out while your body shakes and Minhyuk fucks you harshly, chasing his own high. 

"I'm gonna cum." He grunts. 

"Cum inside me." You cry out, just as he cums, filling your pussy up with his warm cream. 

"Oh my god. Fuck." He grunts as he slowly thrusts himself into you, spilling everything he has inside of him. 

"That was.. wow." You huff, laying in his bed, side by side. 

"I have a confession." He breathes. "There's a reason why I haven't fucked anyone " 

"What?" You ask, nervously. 

"I've been waiting for the right time to ask you.. because I've only wanted you but you were with Jooheon or whatever. So I waited." He admits. 

"Why did you wait?" You ask. 

"Because I've loved you for years, and I wanted my first time to be with you. I love you." He tells you, turning his head to look at you. 

"I love you too." You whisper.

[worldwidebt7]

I... have no idea why I decided to write this— especially on this blog because... I don’t really consider this a personal blog...

I suppose I just needed to vent? Get my thoughts out and hope that someone listens? I love my husband but... it’s like talking to a wall when it comes to this topic 😅

So... what I’m talking about is poor body image and everything that comes with it.

And I guess this is the part where I place a trigger warning for— jeez— just, everything? Talking about eating disorders, self-deprivation, low self worth, self body shaming, negative thoughts... so, if you’re triggered by these topics or anything similar, please read no further.

So, I guess I should preface this with a disclaimer: I love who I am. I love my mind, and the way I think and analyze. I love the way I love the things I’m passionate about.

But I hate that I can’t love the way I look.

I want to. I want to be happy and confident in how I look, but every time I see myself in a reflection I veer away as fast as possible. I can give you every reason in the book, but I couldn’t tell you where my poor body image comes from.

As far back as I can remember I have been hiding in clothes two sizes too big for me. Anything that will shield my imperfections from the world. Hell, I’ve even been living for these mandatory masks because that gives me the ability to hide my face. The less that can been seen of me, the better. I suppose that’s because I assume the rest of the world will judge me as harshly as I judge myself.

I have this saying: “Go ahead and say what you want because it can’t be worse than what I already tell myself.”

Which is true. In fact, I actively avoid mirrors when I can. I don’t even own a full body mirror. I have two vanity mirrors that show my face from the neck up and there are more than enough issues just there to keep me occupied for an hour.

Owning a full length mirror would be... well, let’s just say the last time I looked at myself at length in one I cried and nearly broke my hand.

I am... overweight for my height and body type. And for myself. About 35lbs (15.88kg) to be precise. I’m 5’1” (155cm) and of a petite build. I should weigh in the 112lb (50.80)-121lb (54.88kg). I understand that each body has its own version of healthy, but I can physically feel the effects that the extra weight is having on my body.

I should add that I wasn’t always this heavy. In middle school and high school I was about average weight even if it was a little over the “ideal” and later I was in the spectrum of healthy weight for my size twice.

And neither time did I get there healthily.

The first time was out of my hands— I had been quite ill with Lyme disease for the first two years of my college life and I was spending 75% of my time asleep or too weak to move. Surprisingly, I actually GAINED weight at this time and was at the unruly weight I’m currently at today.

However, that changed drastically when doctors finally discovered the cause of my ailments and put me on aggressive medication for it. I had Lyme for two years— there was already irreparable damage to by body from it. I though the treatment would be the end.

Wrong.

The pills prescribed to me were meant to eliminate the disease as swiftly as possible and consequently made me more ill. I was throwing up two to three times a day and with that came a sensitive stomach and a nonexistent appetite. I loved off of bread and chocolate milk for a month because that’s all my stomach could keep down.

I lost 35lbs (15.88kg) in four weeks. My body was eating itself. I was weak. Every bone in my body hurt. My eyes were sunken in. I couldn’t eat because the bacteria in my stomach were so damaged.

But I was finally— FINALLY— skinny. My body had essentially transformed over night in my suffering and I felt like at least one good thing had come out of me being sick.

I began working out regularly trying to gain some of my muscle back and I toned up, I had definition and some of my energy back. And I continued to try and nurse myself back to health for the next year by slowly introducing more food into my meals. I was trying to do the right thing for my body, but I also wanted to keep the weight off.

This was the first... and the last time I was ever happy with my body.

It lasted little more than a year.

Once I was able to eat full meals again after quite some time, I gained all the weight back— and then some. I was the heaviest I had ever been and I was MISERABLE. I had gotten a taste of my version of “the perfect body” and I ate it away.

This is where the self-hatred really set in.

After I graduated college and broke up with my boyfriend, I decided to lose the weight again. The beginning was hard— not due to lack of motivation or knowledge (my mother had been a personal trainer) but because my metabolism had be irreparably damaged from the earlier events. And when I stopped seeing results, I cut back on calories.

And cut back again.

And again.

And again.

Until— finally— I had lost most of the weight again. And I was eating 300 calories or less a day. Preferably less. The less I ate, the more I complimented myself for restricting and having restraint.

“You did good today!”

“With this, you’ll definitely lose weight!”

“Look at how flat your stomach is!”

Of course my stomach was flat. I hadn’t eaten anything!

And all the kind, sweet words to myself were doing was reinforcing horrible, life-threatening habits that I still struggle with today.

This also went on for a year, and, while I wasn’t completely satisfied with how my body looked, it was the last time I can pinpoint where I was happy. And because I link that period of time to happiness, I now connect the eating disorder I had to contributing to it.

Flash forward to now— four and a half years later. I am back to my miserable weight. I feel like my body isn’t mine, and that it’s betrayed me. And I hate it.

I am still in constant pain from the joint damage caused my the Lyme disease. My stomach is still sensitive and I often feel ill after eating (whether this is a physical response or a psychological one at this point I cannot tell). And my metabolism has never recovered from what was now 9 years ago.

And I have tried to lose the weight again. I went to a personal trainer and that worked for a bit— I dropped 11lbs (4.99kg) in about four months and I was eating healthy. But then I plateaued. I was told I needed to eat more since I was doing weight lifting. So I ate more and the weight started coming back.

I tried intermittent fasting, and that worked for a time. But then I did a body scan that measures fat vs muscle vs skeletal mass and it showed that the weight I was losing was actually muscle. I was told again to eat more, so I did.

I gained all 11lbs back.

Then I fell back on what I knew worked for me. Calorie deficit.

I started cutting back until I began to see weight drop, but immediately stopped when I realized that I would have to eat less than 700 calories a day for any sort of result.

So here I am, in my traitorous body with no light at the end of the tunnel. I have more issues than losing weight can resolve at this point. I should see a therapist, but I can’t afford one. I should consult a nutritionist, but, again, can’t afford that. The only reason I could afford a trainer because she was a friend of mine and gave me an amazing deal. However, after I had to drop $2k to fix the watermain to my house I was unable to afford that even.

I’m not the confident woman my husband married three years ago, and because of my insecurities and poor body image marital problems run rampant in our relationship.

I know there are many factors to how I view myself— I have unrealistic standards that I feel I must live up to. I have a deep-seeded fear of being ugly because at some point in my life I decided that only good things happen for beautiful people.

I was listening to a podcast today and they were discussing how hot people don’t need to develop certain personality traits or social skills because they’re beautiful and everyone loves beautiful people.

I guess I’ve always wanted to be one of these beautiful people.

It’s vain, and plastic, and superficial, and my common sense finds it absolutely ridiculous. But when I look in a mirror I can’t find anything that I actually like. It’s like I’m screaming from inside a body that I don’t belong in, because the way I feel about myself isn’t reflected in how I outwardly look.

Again, I love my mind. I love my art and the stories I want to tell with it. I love my soul. I just hate the cage it’s trapped in.

I don’t know why I decided to write this... I guess... I really just wanted someone to listen... and I wanted others who feel the same or have been through similar circumstances, that they’re not alone.

And I suppose not being alone and being heard can be exactly what’s needed sometimes.

I’ll delete this later.