#and i regret it now and i’ve changed so much as a person but idk if i’d ever want to try to reach out to them again

[transmage]

rediscovered my old tf rp blog and the nostalgia is borderline painful

[wachtelspinat]

Hey ! I’ve been seeing your art going around since your midnight crew stuff and I just recently stubble across your tumblr, thank to your beautiful overwatch art for our beloveds junkers ! I’ve been scrolling through your account and read about your experience of being a former graphic designer who is a doctor now. And damn. I can’t emphasize how much I admire you, especially as someone who is struggling really hard to choose between 2 careers paths ( with one of them being art related ). This is why I was wondering if you would be open to talk about how and why you switched from art to medecine ? Especially because most of the time I feel it happens more the other way around ? ( If it’s too personal just ignore this ask + sorry if you already talked about it before )

hey ! no worries, i don't expect ppl to scroll through my tumblr to find an answer for a question they might have. first of all thanks for your nice words, means a lot <3

i switched from art to medicine because my early 20-something-self was even more anxiety-ridden than my present-self, and being in art school and having to "perform" regularly was a nightmare. i'm talking about a time in which i was so scared of being perceived that i often skipped grocery shopping, just so i could avoid being around people. so like, pitching art related projects to peers and profs was eeh... especially because art is so personal oh my god. i still hate it when someone tries to sneak a peek while i'm drawing, makes me wanna throw my sketchbook and myself off the bridge. anyways so i always felt a 110% inadequate (plus i got a gf during that time who was so good to me and tried to get me out of my funk on multiple occasions (she was and still is an artist and has now a career as a freelancer and i'm rly proud of her) but i couldn't see that because i just compared the two of us all the time and sabotaged any attempt she made for having fun with drawing with her) that i sat down at some point and asked myself if i could do this any longer, and i came to the conclusion that no, it really kills me rn.

what made me go into the health sector? i don't even know anymore, i think it was a mixture of "i loved biology, esp. the human body in school" and "my mum is an icu nurse and talks a lot about hospitals, maybe i should check it out"... it was not a well thought through decision, which is so funny because studying medicine was a hell of a meatgrinder ride (also my anxiety and self hatred? still there, but now i wasn't judged anymore because of my art but instead being called a dumb idiot collectively with all the other students because nobody likes med students) and for some reason i was able to get through that despite it not being my passion at all, but i couldn't stand up for myself in art school. i don't even know if i could work through it nowadays, but the good thing is i don't have to ask myself this question anymore, because being a doctor pays the bills, and ever since i left art school i was able to just draw without consequence. which is nice to a degree, my artistic output is not tied to the means of generating money. on the other hand... idk, in another life with more confidence and less worries, i'd love to be some sort of character designer T_T

so yeah that's basically it. at some times i cherished my career decisions, at other times i regretted them deeply, worst thing is i know it has a lot to do with personality, but the fact that we can't change who we are with a blink of an eye gives me the framework to think that the path i took was ok. as in. things happened for a reason and maybe i'm just not cut out for that kind of work. you have to be aware of the conditions of a job to decide if you are up for it. because being an artist doesn't end with "just draw". i myself had an unrealistic view of the job back then too. and the fact that i could not seperate between personal aspects and "doing a job here" was crucial.

yeah, idk if this is helpful at all. i think the one thing that is super important here is to have a realistic view on the conditions of work you are about to head into, and i know this is mostly very difficult to aquire. because unless you really work in a sector there is often no way to fully grasp the situations you can find yourself in (this applied for me also in the health sector, which made me fall into a depression a year ago, but what do you do after you spent 6 years of studying :') ). doing internships and just trying to get to know a lot of things really helps. and - idk how old you are, but if you're really young: it's ok to switch careers at some point. it's even ok to do so when you are older (trying to end on a positive note here because it feels like i just said a lot of depressing things... like don't get me wrong i like my job, the conditions are just fucked up, and again my personality prevents me from switching again but it's also not that easy in germany, BUT it's a valid thing to do, being versatile is good! just... make sure you don't end up with a job that you absolutely hate because that kills it all)

[cupidjyu]

can you do a reaction to how the boyz members would react to another member flirting with their s/o? <33

jealousy, jealousy

(maknae line) when they get jealous over another member

genre: jealousy (ofc), pouty... men, fluff, idk they're just grumpy notes: i kinda changed the prompt because i felt kinda awkward writing another member flirting with a taken person LMAO so, lets say that what they do is completely unintentional ~ sorry anon, i hope you can understand &lt;3 word count: 1.3k

haknyeon

You always knew that Younghoon liked this particular type of bread, the one with chocolate cream inside. It was often hard to find so you always heard him complain. But, on your way back from work, you caught sight of it.

You bought a few, two for Younghoon and three for your boyfriend, Haknyeon. Fortunately, when you arrived at his dorm, Younghoon was there.

“Look what I got?” You held up your bag with a bright smile. Younghoon gasped and he jumped up.

“Is it–”

You nodded and Younghoon was rambling with joy. Haknyeon quickly noticed what was going on so he put down his computer. He watched silently as Younghoon gave you a tight hug.

“Thank you so much, you don’t know how much I’ve craved for this.” Younghoon laughed before pulling away, his hands resting on your shoulders. “You’re amazing, Y/n.”

You started to take the bread out and Younghoon immediately took it and bit into it. 

He looked up at you with bright eyes. “This is so good… I…” He trailed off, suddenly looking behind you. You stared back confused as he winced. “There’s someone…” He pointed behind you awkwardly.

You were about to turn around but then felt warm arms snake around your waist from behind. You inhaled sharply.

“Haknyeonie?” You glanced behind. Except, he wasn’t looking at you. Instead, he was glaring grumpily at Younghoon. The older man only muffled a laugh and took the bread into another room, giving you some privacy.

“What’s the matter?” You laughed.

“You got bread for him but not me? And look how he hugged you…” He grumbled, pouting adorably. You giggled and reached back into the bag to hand one to him.

“What do you mean? I got extra for you.” You pinched his nose, causing him to blush.

“Oh, I…” He whined. “I didn’t know, sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You smiled fondly. “You’re cute actually.”

He whined even louder.

“Mind if we share?” You gestured to the bread now in his hand. He nodded excitedly, all happy again as you led him to sit on the stools.

“Of course.” He winked cheekily, making you giggle. He broke off a piece and imitated an airplane, much to your disapproval. “Say ahhhh–”

“Haknyeon,” You deadpanned with a glare. “I’m not a baby.”

He huffed. “You’re my baby.”

“Oh,” You breathed out. Then you shrugged, pressing a quick peck to his lips. “Okay, that works too.”

sunwoo

It all started when you were having a perfectly normal movie night. The theme was superhero movies and since Juyeon avidly enjoyed them, he had joined the two of you. Additionally, it was Sunwoo who had even invited him. But now, he regretted it.

Sunwoo knew that Juyeon was quite an affectionate person. But, it was different when it was specifically with you. Little did he know, that Juyeon simply had a sibling fondness for you. Every time you would point out a detail in the movie, he would always pat your head and smile.

“Hey, what if she actually is the enemy and she’s just faking being nice?” You asked, wondering.

Sunwoo spoke up, turning to you, “I think so too–”

But then he was interrupted by Juyeon.

“Definitely.”

“I knew I was right.” You simpered, proudly. And again, Sunwoo noticed that Juyeon was smiling down at you so, so sweetly. 

Throughout the movie, you felt your boyfriend try to pull you closer for some reason. The hand around your waist would tighten, almost protectively. Though, you didn’t mind, as you easily rested your head on his chest. 

After the movie, Juyeon had left and Sunwoo was sitting in bed. He was hugging a pillow to his chest as he watched you bustle around. When you finished, you turned around and almost cooed. Sunwoo looked so cute, with his pouty lips and sad, puppy-like eyes.

“Sunwoo, everything okay?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re lying.” You raised an eyebrow. He stayed silent, stubbornly staring back. But then, he groaned, frustrated as he fell face first on the bed. He kicked his legs, grumpily causing you to giggle.

“Ah, I shouldn’t have invited him…”

You sat next to him and patted his back. “And why’s that?”

“All he does is smile at you so fondly. It should only be me doing that!” He sat up again with a huff. His hair was adorably messy and tousled. You stared at him in shock before breaking out into a wide smile.

“Maybe he just likes me as a friend, you know? No need to be jealous.”

“But still…” He whined. You laughed and ran your hands through his messy hair. He immediately grew quiet at that and looked up at you with round eyes.

“Did you just– pet me?”

You nodded.

“Oh.” He blushed. “I–It felt nice.”

“Does it?” You began to comb your fingers all through his hair. He closed his eyes, leaning into your touch. “You know, you’re like a pouty puppy when you’re jealous.”

“Is that why you petted my hair?” He glared at you.

“Maybe.”

He groaned and hid his face in a pillow. But, when he noticed that you had stopped petting his hair, he shyly looked up at you with pleading eyes.

“Can you… continue?”

eric

The two of you were simply trying to figure out how to cook breakfast. But, since you had just woken up, you and your boyfriend were lazily yawning and fumbling around.

“Pancakes? I have no idea how to make those either,” He mumbled, sleepily. His hair was all messy and tangled, like a puppy in need of grooming.

You laughed and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. And in both of your guys’ daze, you bumped into each other.

“Ow.” You rubbed your head.

“Sorry!” He pouted. He took your cheeks in his hands, gently inspecting you. You only laughed and stared back. Then, he leaned in to kiss you on the lips.

“Lovebirds,” A voice called out from behind. You separated with flushed cheeks. Sangyeon was leaning against the wall with an amused smile. “Are you trying to cook?”

“Yeah, and we can’t figure it out…” Eric huffed.

“I’ll show you. Pancakes? I can teach you how to flip them if you want.” The older man offered with a kind smile. You nodded, excitedly.

Eric slumped over the counter, too tired to care. Soon enough though, he woke up when he heard your laugh. The one that was genuine and that he thought was the most beautiful. He looked up and frowned at the sight.

Sangyeon was standing behind you, his arm looped around you to demonstrate how to flip the pancake.

“Oh, I finally did it,” You breathed out.

“You did amazing.” Sangyeon smiled, looking you straight in the eye. You were about to reply but then you heard a loud noise from behind. You turned around and it seemed that Eric had cleared his throat loudly. He was looking you straight in the eye, his head tilted as he raised an eyebrow, attractively.

Immediately, you knew. So, you looked back to Sangyeon. “If you don’t mind… can I practice on my own?”

“Of course,” He replied and he walked out. Then, you put your hand on your hip and faced Eric with a tired expression.

“Are you jealous already?”

He whined, blushing. “Look how he was touching you! He was definitely flirting.”

“He’s teaching me how to flip pancakes.”

“Same thing!” He grumbled. “But fine, if you say so…” And he refused to look you in the eye, as he frowned grumpily. Your eyes softened.

“Baby.” You took his hand in yours and made him face you. “You know that I only love you, right?”

“Yeah?” He looked at you hopefully, leaning over the counter.

“Mhm.”

“That’s good then.” He nodded. “So if I… do this, you would still love me?”

“Do wha–”

He suddenly tacked you and pressed kisses all over your cheeks, making you smile and laugh.

“Ah, wait, let me flip my pancake.”

“No, you’re mine for now.”

[campbyler]

mmm what the fuck?

how am i supposed to live like a normal functioning person after experiencing the full range of human and Inhuman emotions?

thea i love u i promise but i also want to kill u in the most cruel way possible.

i was trying to read 32k words one hour before the work and failed Miserably 😭 i only get through driving lesson part. can u believe i had to do actual work the entire day instead of reading my gay fanfiction? 💔heartbreaking misogynistic And homophobic if u ask me.

anyway. i know im going to forget something. it always happens and then im too shy to send other asks so let hope it doesn’t happen this time.

driving lesson.

don’t worry about ur manual transmission description. i’ve changed three instructors in the span of year and a half and all three of them told me different things. i didn’t notice any Big Serious issues that would be at odds with driving mechanic.

to the other news. will sucks 😭😭 not his fault Obviously. he’s naturally anxious and tbh mike didn’t give him any hints about how to feel when the car is ready to go. not mikes fault too. i bet he doesn’t even think about this little thing anymore (and cause u don’t know about them either. which is ok don’t worry about it. u probably just need to experience it ti fully understand). i was so happy when will finally manage to get the car going 😭😭 i probably called him baby too.

and then i literally passed out when i saw the mike called Him baby?? first will’s brain in denial made me questioning was it really for him or for the car. cause mike Loves that car i wouldn’t be surprised if he really call it baby from time to time. but then i remembered that we know how mike feels thanks god and i became like 85% sure that it was for will. (i also Run to check playlist right after this line. yeah i found “king of my heart” there. u make the impossible possible cause why am i listening to two of my least favorite reputation songs and genuinely enjoy them?)

i mentally add the keychains to the list of things we need to know more about. but i think it’s cute that they both not only save them but also use them almost daily. and they both choose car keys to hang the keychains on. dare i say soulmates.

*two weeks later*

also i think it’s funny they consider each other hot while driving.

and of course mike is obsessed with old expensive cars!!

are the malls in the us exactly dying? my office building is near the mall and i can guarantee u that in my country they r super alive.

ok i might be wrong but i think that the deleted scene is from bookstore part idk.

i think it’s cute that they trust each other enough to allow to choose as significant item as journals concerning that they really picky about them.

and i loved that mike blushed over a simple kiss 🫶🏻🫶🏻

(i feel like i want to catch up on everything and it’s killing me cause i write down one thing and immediately remember the other 😭)

THEY WERE SO BOYFRIENDS IN DINER!!! i don’t think i will ever recover from how cute they r and how much they actually like each other (and how single i am. as the classic said “when someone will prey on my neurodivergency….” and so on and so forth). i love that everyone can see it and im obsessed that boys don’t even want to deny it. i think a lot about the fact that mike said that they middle school sweethearts like he regrets about the missed opportunities (but also he doesn’t regret cause the thing they have now (at this exact moment. cause i still have bad feeling) is like that Because of years of semi-friendship and rivalry and unsaid confessions).

and i think even more about the fact that mike didn’t want to talk about his pretentious ivy league college. squinting so hard and taking a lot of notes (in fact writing paragraphs of analysis to my friends who has no idea what acswy).

the photobooth scene!!! omg i can’t believe u almost deleted it all??? suni is our hero! lots of hugs and kisses and thanks to them!!

i can’t believe mike talked about showing pictures to their friends in one minute and literally kissing will on them in the other. i love them they r so silly and in love and can’t get enough of each other. u can feel how close they become and that the air is thick with the newfound (and rediscovered) feelings. and they can’t live without touching and the hold hands constantly!!! all day long!!! and it’s not enough!!! and oh. i think it wasn’t the last time we saw pictures (squinting even harder).

the way max immediately cut the bullshit and asked about swearshirt. i need to know what lucas wrote to mike.

he likes him!!!

i love the difference between mikes “i know i like him but i won’t do anything about it” and wills “i need to kiss him to death right now!”

and the kiss on the backseat of mikes stupid mustang!! we were all waiting for it!

i think i reread and memorized the last part and in still shaking whenever i think about “nervous” part. mike makes will nervous!! and he makes him shake and do stupid stuff like kissing and blushing and thinking to add heart next to his name and call him his boyfriend!!! omg!!

“I’ve got you, baby” WHO WILL GET ME??? im the one who is going insane??? it’s so tender. my boys 💔💔💔

(the second time. my eyes r hurting from squinting that much. and i feel like we’ll have “el’s not stupid” kind of scene in the flashbacks)

this character hits so hard!! i’ve never doubted any of u but i can see why this one is one of ur favorite thea!

thank u so much for ur hard work. if i could draw i would to the whole ass animation of this chapter (and any other too).

love u. thank u for reading all this rambling

mmm what the fuck is RIGHT alya bc this is how i feel every time i read one of ur lovely essay comments. bc whaqt the fuck. why do u want me to CRY ALL THE TIME. (i guess it's fair considering we are making u cry with the fic itself but still . Rude)

you are so real for trying to read 32k in one hour and also so me . rly fucked up and cruel that you would have to work (even tho u threatened to murder me)...i hope you are freed from these perils Soon. don't ever be too shy to send more asks tho every ask from you is a BLESSING and a TREAT!!! EVEN WHENTHEY ARE LACED W THREATS!!!!!!!!!!!! and also tysm for validating my manual driving lesson description bc fr every video i watched was different and i was so stressed but it's FINE. ALYA SIGNED OFF ON IT SO NO ONE ELSE MATTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEAL W IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! will Does suck and that's one thing we can all agree on 💗💗💗 i was going to include a bit about likee what the engine Sounds like bc i know it sounds different when you're ready to switch gears but honest tbhly the driving scene alone is like 12k and i was super losing steam by the time i thought of it so i didn't <3 he is def a baby and mike def refers to his car as baby so he is right to be confused. but it WAS for him!! we actually aren't 100% sure of mike's feelings Yet (ch08 is meant to be the precipice of a realization, not an actual one) but obviously . we do have a pretty good idea of how he does feel. teehee. also i am glad you are enjoying komh now bc wtf......how is it one of your least faves................i support you but i am also judging u a little alya .

i think keychains will be included in one of the companions :o) also OBVIOUSLY they find each other hot while driving. they're both annoying and down bad 🙄🙄

malls here are super dying!! i think the only ones that aren't are ones in Major Cities (there's two nearby me that are pretty popular, but the other ones are mostly closed, and it's definitely been a phenomenon in the us over the last few years thanks to online shopping)!! the deleted scene is actually from the driving scene, but the bookstore scene Feels shorter bc i was truly at the point where i had nothing left to give when writing it (it was the last part of ch09 to be written), so it definitely suffered from that. if we ever do Huge post-mortem edits once acswy is over, i might go back and add to it, or write a deleted-scene-type companion, but tht's the tea w the bookstore scene <3

the diner scene was SOOOO fun to write and it had me blushing frfr. i answered this in another ask but the middle school sweethearts comment was Definitely the most insane thing that i thought of for this chapter and to me it was for sure the nail in the coffin for will of like damn. ok. he's Serious abt this. bc i think with their #history that will has trouble admitting even to himself that he likes mike, and so he'd need to feel pretty certain of how mike feels first, and after processing the middle school sweethearts comment later in the car that's what made him realize like oh damn. i Do like him. SO MUCH. and we all nodded and patted his back and said yeah baby we know. but what you described mike thinking is absolutely exactly how he feels 💗 very reminiscent and wistful, even.

LOL LITERALLY THIS HAS BEEN A UNANIMOUS COMMENT ACROSS THE BOARD OF "THANK GOD FOR SUNI" (INCLUDING MYSELF). to Explain the way i was feeling about it -- i did not initially mean to have that be a Spicy make out moment! it was supposed to read more along the lines of the thrift store scene, or even the kiss after will finished driving the mustang, so very sweet and soft and Romantic. it just didn't come out that way once i was actually writing it, and so i was nervous that i was toeing the line too heavily, or tht it was out of place with the rest of the vibe i had constructed for the chapter. a combination of suni (and abby, who got early access and acted as our second beta) being adamant that it Did fit and worked well, and me being too pressed for time/not having enough energy to rewrite that saved it from the deleted scene graveyard <3 thank god fr. they are both so fucking stupid.

the entiiiiire realization scene up from will realizing he likes mike to the very end of the chapter is my favorite thing that i have ever written i think 💗 i am just so happy with the way it turned out, especially with it being at the point in the fic that it's at!! it felt rly right for will :') also mike calling him baby!!! that was such a last minute decision but i'm so glad i went for it!! the original line was "i've got you, yeah?" but baby hit So much harder so shout out to editing thea for making that change 🤸 will wants to add a heart next to mike's name in his phone SOOOO BAD!!! WHEN WILL HE GET TO!!!!!!!!!!!

your second ask SO TRUE SO REAL. TEEHEE AND MWAHA AND SO ON AND SO FORTH. also you're so right jonathan is so fucked up for stealing steve from will like that 🙄

tytyty as always for your novel length comment alya 💗 really and genuinely and truthfully the thought of getting to read ur reactions is one of the most exciting parts of uploading a chapter!! i eagerly await all of ur other reactions <3333

[dumbass-hyperfixations]

I started watching 911 recently (and I’m not gonna lie, it’s mostly because of Buck’s coming out because I wasn’t gonna start watching yet a show with a very potential queerbait in the middle of an otherwise very diverse and interesting looking cast) and I’ve been loving it, and even though I’m only on season 3 now, I really want to contribute with an idea on how the show could start up Eddie’s own coming out journey (which is hopefully in the cards)

Now, I don’t know how much closer Michael Grant gets to everyone else on the show (since I’m on season 3, I haven’t really seen him interact much with anyone but Bobby and Hen from the 118, and idk if that changes or if his relationship with other characters deepens over the years), but I would really like him to be present at Chimney and Maddie’s wedding. And maybe Tommy and Buck are being cute on the dancefloor, and then the camera pans to Eddie, who is seated to the side with Marisol, looking at the pair a little wistfully (just enough for us to know that maybe sitting there with Marisol isn’t exactly what he wants to do). And then, the camera would go to Michael, noticing Eddie’s look, and Marisol’s sort of dejected and bored expression. And he sees a couple that not only appears unhappy with each other, but also sees a whole lot of himself in Eddie.

So, as the wedding reception is coming to a close, Michael is at the bar as Eddie comes by, looking for one more round as the bartender announces the last call. And as he waits for the drink, Michael strikes up a conversation with a bit of small talk (again, idk if they’re close enough to have a deep conversation right off the bat), and then goes, “hey, did Bobby or Athena ever tell you why we got divorced?”

And Eddie stumbles over the answer a bit awkwardly, like yeah, it was because, well, um, you know, because you’re …

And Michael chuckles, putting him out of his misery with a “a flaming homosexual? Yeah. No sense in beating around the bush about it. At least not anymore. You know, I was so deep in denial I never even kissed a man until I was in my fifties?”

“Really? So you’ve … only been with women until you came out?” Eddie asks and Michael nods. “And you’re sure you’re not bisexual?”

To which Michael laughs and reassures him that no, not bisexual, just a very very repressed gay man. Then, he drives his not-so-subtle point home by saying:

“And even still, I don’t have many regrets about my life. I got two incredible kids out of it, and I can’t imagine my life without them. My only regret, though, is that I spent fifteen years with a woman I couldn’t love the way she loved me, and I wasn’t even man enough to give her a chance to look for someone better. Fifteen years. That’s a hell of a lot of time to take away from someone.”

And while he speaks, we see Eddie glance across the room, to Marisol fussing over Chris. And, inevitably, to Buck laughing along with something Chimney said on the other side of the room. And when he looks back at Michael, he sees a very knowing expression on his face.

“What are you trying to say?” Eddies asks, still guarded as hell, to which Michael chuckles.

“Nothing, man. I guess I just officially entered my lonely gay drunk at the bar days. But if I can pass a little wisdom. If can already you feel it in your gut that you’re not with the right person, maybe don’t be like me and spend the next fifteen years trying to figure out what you already know.”

And then he leaves, and BOOM, Eddie is forced to realize things he would much rather keep repressed.

[briebysabs]

Okay I wanna talk about woosan in the ateez canon lore for a minute because they’re actually insane. Like sure, they’re a popular pairing so it’s natural to have them be the classic duo in MVs. But they’ve done it so many times that it has to be more than fanservice at this point.

For instance, the ending to Eternal Sunshine where Woo runs and takes San’s hand as they float mid-air. What was the purpose this has still not been explained. A theory I heard was that Eternal Sunshine is a collective dream Ateez is having but still. I get they were really pushing woosan in 2021 but I squinted my eyes, it’s sus to me.

I’ve heard the theory too that WY from Halateez might be a traitor. I think it stemmed from the Hala Hala video where he’s left standing with blood on his mouth, everyone else fallen. Sick ass shot btw but they did defeat the Z-world government in Crazy Form (though idk if that was Halateez or A-world Ateez). So I feel like if he was it would’ve been revealed by now but it’s still a possibility.

I’ve also heard that canon woosan (before anyone yells I said canon not irl) are an implied couple and that’s the subtle nodding to standing up against an oppressive government and Ateez’s whole themes surrounding freedom. Could be true but that’s also putting a lot of faith into a kpop company being progressive enough to integrate that into their storyline.

There is what woosan said at a fansign about their characters in bouncy:

I understand that they’re the Black Pirates in disguise but if WY was ever a traitor, his lack of caring what happens to San would make sense. What makes the angst is that San wholeheartedly trusts in WY here. But my personal theory that I have is at some point, one version of woosan is going to sacrifice themself for the other. Now, it is a leap to say Ateez would kill off a member in their storyline because it could upset some fans. But they can get away with it regardless if it’s permanent or temporary because they have multiple versions of themselves in their lore. So nobody is 100% gone forever but it’ll still be a loss.

And preferably I want it to be WY if it ever happens. Here’s why: idk about Z-world WY but A-world WY’s biggest obstacle or regret was being too late, lacking confidence, being uncertain and missing his chance. While San wanted stability and was tired of his life constantly changing, thus losing friends. So think about it.

If WY died for San, he overcame his wall. He took a chance, he didn’t miss it and would regret nothing bc he couldn’t lose San. While San now lost his best friend forever, the biggest change of his life. And I do know that their backstories in A-world are somewhat reflective of themselves irl. And WY has been described as really the glue that holds the team together, that they wouldn’t be as close as they are without him. Not that losing any other member wouldn’t be heartbreaking but like….if WY died in canon I feel like even the staff would be crying behind the camera y’know what I mean?

And San can go full “I gotta save him, I can’t lose another friend he means too much to me”. It’ll work bc even if you’ve only watched the MVs without knowing anything else about woosan, you know what San means bc you usually see them paired in the songs. So he may use the Cromer (if they still have it) to time travel somehow which will be bringing us to another dilemma because Yunho’s brother has been dead. And I’m pretty sure in one of the diaries they went back in time for some reason, Yunho saw this opportunity and tried to save him from the accident that killed him but it still happened anyway. So there’s 1. Yunho’s like hey San I love WY too but why should we save him and not my brother? Then 2. Yunho going uh I tried doing this before and it didn’t work and I had to relive my brother dying so San don’t do this. And then San just doesn’t listen so it causes a rift within the group.

I feel like this would also give an excuse to keep the story going because the revolution is over. I think the main thing that caused me some fear about this comeback was Mingi going on a podcast saying how 2024 was really their year and they want to end it with a grand finale. Terrifying words, I think the incoming comeback is gonna be lore and it’s gonna be big. Doesn’t need to be woosan-related, probably isn’t but it just spawned my inner worm thoughts of their place in the lore.

[sugakookie127]

Hey guys, so im back and i honestly regret giving the 3d so much power over me, this cycle… its so tiring so i WILL change. Ive said this before but i mean it! I will start my change by listening to adambja’s desired reality tape and their instant manifesting abilities tape! I’ll share my honest response to it everyday and while i listen, i’ll also be changing myself to be my desired self. I will stop giving my ego any attention and just dwell in the blissful feeling of my desires already being mine. I think my problem is that i think TOO damn much! Like… TOO MUCH. I keep asking myself questions like,” how do you know if this is working”,” i dont feel relaxed or fulfilled enough so am i doing something wrong?”, “what am i missing?”, “how have i been manifesting on a day to day basis and why is it hard now?”, etc etc. ive been asking myself too much questions and not understanding anything or “forgetting” what i learned about loa BECAUSE of my self doubt which has made me decide to overconsume. I feel like now that i think about it, ive been deciding a LOT of things. I’ve been deciding to continue to believe the 3d is real, decided to continuosly doubt myself, decided to stress myself out, decided to overconsume and everything. So now im going to decide that this is me putting my foot down because im tired of the self doubt, self hate, insecurity and mood swings CAUSED by these “insecurities”. I wouldnt be feeling this way at all if i were my desired self. So while i decide to listen to the adambja tapes i’ve mentioned, im also going to follow a “routine” but i won’t treat it as something that i HAVE TO DO like homework because manifestation is about having fun as the creator or the “buyer” in your reality. It’s not necessarily a process but it’s like walking into a store where EVERYTHING u want is available for u at no cost and all you have to do is take something and then it’s yours now. It belongs to u and you are now that person WITH that desire. Idk, it’s like i DO know how to manifest but i cant feel that “acceptance” feeling when i imagine myself with it.. y’know? ( i better after all that damn overconsumption) So im going to meditate while i listen to the tapes and when i go to sleep, i’m going to think affirmations like,” i love ending my day in my perfect room looking this effortlessly beautiful while going to bed”. Im going to vaunt and do things the way my desired self would and if that means im going to post everyday and be like her, then so be it. Expect my success story this week because i decide that i’m not a failure. I decide that i no longer want to see the 3d as the truth cus it’s no fun😛 also expect a daily review on adambja’s tapes 😗 i decide that i’m not ugly no more cus girl TUH. What hater would really have the nerve to call me that💀 im too fine and they know it. I feel like i fall in love with myself all over again anytime i think of myself but it’s impossible NOT to because i’m just that kind of person. Im too lovely and irresistible to NOT fall in love with. Yea i DO have $995 and i will win the contest i made with my bestie cus my paycheck bouta be $695 lol WHY? CUS I SAID SO. Subconscience i know you’re listening bookie, my love, i already have my desires no matter what, ok? PERIODT

K bye yall💚💚💚

[runariya]

I finished reading why they broke up or just one of the reasons for it and tbh she’s right. why would I change myself for you just because you wanna have some fun or do something that’s not i would do and let me feel like im the one who’s at fault for not doing what you want? why drag me into it? do it with your friends or mother but why me? i mean yes both of them didn’t communicate and what not but the fact that she says no and HE acts hurt is selfish ass hell. why be hurt by something a person doesn’t want to do? you literally got to know her as a calm person so why change her to your standards? also him shutting her up and sleeping with her just to not talk about it but then leave her in the middle of the night is fucked up too. no wonder she broke up and im glad she did.

„you calm me it’s like i don’t have to keep running“ that was a lie.

I hope you all don’t mind me not doing another drabble from his POV for this one, bc omg idk how I’d explain his whole thought process regarding this ask lol

Okay, so first, in her POV you’re absolutely right, and I feel you! That exact emotion you’ve got is ultimately what led her to break up with him.

BUT (!) I need to explain why he’s not the villain here too (tho it’s just my take on things, you’re free to hate whichever character you want lol)

Quick timeline for better understanding:

They met when they were just shy of 19

Dated when they were 20

Camping and breakup at 24

See each other again/main CCL at 27

Yes, he knew who she was, and while she went along with most minor things, he never thought he was pushing her boundaries this far, key word: communication on her side. This drabble shows solely the end of their relationship, where she, for the first time, explicitly said no to him. At the start of the drabble, she was still saying things like ‘I can’t do this with you’, blah blah, not rly voices out why. But regardless to this, he was oblivious to her inner thoughts and the extent of her doubts. (I’m not bashing OC, I’m just too lazy to look up her exact words)

Him shutting her up the way he did to stop her doubting herself by showing her that everything’s okay, and that she’s still his dream girl, isn’t that bad in my opinion either. He’s a man, a physical one, and that’s his way of showing his love to her. But after all this time where she’s stuck in her head, it just doesn’t hit the mark, key word: his communication skills.

He wants to share his adventures with her, not some friends, so on that front alone, it’s not rly that bad either.

As for his ‘hurt,’ I think it’s human. I’m thinking about all the times I’ve wanted to go shopping and my husband said no, or when he wanted to watch a game at the stadium and I said no. Both of us were hurt or disappointed at first, but you get over it quickly, like rly rly quickly tho the other one’s still feeling guilty for saying no. So OC was in her head too much again bc they weren’t talking (more verbal reassurance from JK throughout the whole relationship would’ve helped maybe)

And yes, she did calm him bc (I don’t want to write a short lousy 100-word drabble about this), he didn’t actually go into the cave when he got there. He thought about what he was doing, regretted it, and realised OC was right. He wasn’t sure if she was rly asleep when he came back, but didn’t think much of it until she broke up with him, and that’s when it clicked. She knew about the cave thing, and that’s why he connected it during the breakup (it’s mentioned that he regrets it in drabble II)

I hope I managed to explain his side clearly without taking sides again lol bc honestly, I just can’t…they were both a mess and still are, but we’re getting there!

Hope I didn’t ruin the fic now 👀

TYSM for this ask, it got my brain working overtime but I loved it! 💕

[flowervolcano]

Oh man… I just read Deadpool (2024) #6 and I GOT MUCH TO SAY. But I’m gonna keep this Taskpool centric, I might do an overall review on the full series later but there’s a few talking points specifically about Taskpool I’ve gotta say before I forget ‘em.

spoilers beyond the cut so DO NOT READ IF YA DON’T WANNA GET SPOILED!!!

At least I hope this works. It’s been a while since I’ve done this, I don’t usually even do review type thingys but I’m really hyped ^^

Let’s begin….

Really loved the way Tasky looked here. But also find this pretty funny considering back in Despicable Deadpool he threw a guy/his wheelchair at Taskmaster.

Interestingly enough, Wade called him Taskmaster more times in this comic than the previous ones. But he’s on business mode rn so he’s definitely keeping it professional!

Because not too much later he then calls him Task-Daddy— WHY DID HE DO THAT???? Tasky, you aren’t getting out of this anymore, I’m sorry… I had to full stop and process this. We kept making jokes… we did it for months now and Wade finally said what we all been saying 😭💀

This just interested me a lot. Both of them are talking about new territory, but it’s not the same kind. I think it’s really important for Tasky because he’s never actually been a father-like figure to anyone (not even his own daughter…) but maybe I was reading too much into this—

I know this is very much in character for Tony to wanna brand more since he’s broke, likes good business, etc, but I can’t help but feel like this equals him being a dad to Ellie, why? he’s never had to brand anybody before, but he obviously saw promise in her and even if Wade may have thrusted this mentorship onto them both, he didn’t HAVE to do it like this, that he is explaining the reasoning just felt like an excuse/deflection, it was like he WANTED to have a piece of himself in her outfit but he’s just gotta act cool about it.

I won’t lie when I say this “No Killing Rule” has piqued my interest the most, because to me, rules are made to be broken. And I am intrigued to see where this leads in the future and what will unfold. It is sort of a big deal for Wade to put onto Taskmaster, and I can think about how he may react if Ellie crosses that line— I mean it is his responsibility… I’m wondering if I’m thinking too much on this!

At first I just wanted to add this in and say isn’t he just gorgeous here? But then I realized the dialogue is something to poke at. He’s somewhat pulling her leg here, but I also think it could be interpreted in a few different ways; he’s never gonna admit that he’s protective of her, but he is. It’s not just hit reputation that he’s concerned about okay?

I also think it may be how he’s worked with Wade for a very long time, but with her, it’s a whole new world. It could go a lot of ways, but I’d like to think there’s a part of Taskmaster that is going to miss working alongside Wade and he doesn’t wanna confess. But being around Ellie is just gonna be a reminder.

Being around Ellie might remind him of his own daughter that he knows nothing about. And maybe he feels regretful about this. Idk maybe he doesn’t even remember her at all… depends on the writer.

—————

Loving the dynamic he’s got with her so far. They’re goofy and silly and I love to see him being the funny guy in the situation while Ellie is more serious. Nice change from Wade & Tasky. Really appreciate Ellie is her own person and not just a Deadpool 2.0, I think Tony likes that about her too.

Finally. Love seeing these two interact. A lot. This is something I will REALLY miss now that… well you know… now that stuff happened…. And at this very moment NEITHER TASKY OR ELLIE KNOW THAT WADE IS DEAD OH I AM SICK!!! (Also why did Wade look extra cute here… there was zero reason for it. Thank you Artist!!!)

Uh yeah and these were my little thoughts and such. I might of jumped over things and I’ve never really done posts like these. But this issue really itched my brain and so I wanted to discuss stuff a little haha. Hope y’all enjoy and ofc enjoyed the new issue!!!

[ryuichirou]

Reply

Replies! About ships, about past drawings, about Vil, Neige and Rook, and about Jamil (AzuJami, KaliJami), about some random hcs. And one about AzuIde Marriage AU!

I also wanted to note that we have some asks related to the way I draw things, and I feel like it requires a tutorial, so it’ll probably take some time until I reply… sorry.

Anonymous asked:

🫙 + 👻 + 🏹

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

sdfihsduh THE SECRET CODE… 😭 so confusing yet so meaningful!! Long live Rook’s special jar

Anonymous asked:

I have seen you draw Greenviolet before but have you tried Redwer?? (Redmond x Bluewer)

We like these two, but not as much as we love Greenviolet; so even though I have nothing against the idea of drawing them together, I haven’t done it, and I don’t know when I’m going to.

I’ve mentioned it just the other day: we’re not in Kuroshitsuji mood right now, and while it could change very suddenly and I might feel the urge to draw our faves from there out of nowhere, the chances of us drawing Redwer are kind of low…

But when we revisit the manga (idk when), I’ll most likely sketch them together at least once – it’s a shame that I haven’t drawn them as a pair even once.

Anonymous asked:

Day 1 of asking you to draw Edgar Redmond x Lawrence Bluewer

I’m going to stop you right there, Anon, I’m sorry, although I understand your feelings. Please don’t ask: I don’t take free requests, and the more you ask, the less likely I am to draw them.

Anonymous asked:

Lol, Silver looks so done with Lilia in your Touhou art

Heheh he’s just a little sleepy 😌 As always.

Anonymous asked:

The bit about the sextant reminds me of ed, edd, n eddy’s big picture show

(referring to the cursing hcs post)

Yes! It’s kind of a sneaky reference, Anon, I’m glad you got it! lol

The fact that it’s a quote from a kids’ show… EEnE is special.

Anonymous asked:

Wait, if it follows the story and it was the boar's heart and not Neige's, that's kinda heartbreaking if you don't pay attention to how messed up it is.

I can imagine Vil being both outraged and saddened if/when he finds out it's not Neige's. (if it follows the original storyline)

(related to this Vil drawing)

Yeah, he might even snap and decide to get rid of Neige himself! Nothing could be trusted to his trusted hunter, it seems >:C

But if we’re going with rkvl angle, it is also easy to picture Rook protecting not only Neige but Vil’s soul that way: of course Vil isn’t the one doing the killing, but it’s his decision; and wouldn’t Vil start to regret this decision after going past the point of no return?

The answer is no, Snow White needs to die, that bitch >:c

Sigh… sometimes betrayal is beautiful~

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

So I heavily love the headcanon/idea of Neige being all sweet and innocent but then when he's alone he's more "mature" than what the public assume, and VERY vulgar about his admiration/maybe crush on Vil. The dwarfs are the only one who know his actual personality and accepts him. What are your thoughts if Vil saw Neige's side when they're alone?

I think Vil would be shocked because Neige must be an amazing actor to pull something like that off – Vil is a good judge of character, and if he didn’t clock him being a fake person, he is genuinely impressive. But Vil would also feel kind of pleased at first, because of course no one is that much of a saint and a good person, and it feels good that the bitch you hate is actually vulgar and unlikeable (subjective and caused by Vil’s own bias lol). But even then, after that first “heh” emotion ends, Vil will likely feel disappointed… I guess he really wanted Neige to really be that good and that innocent deep inside.

But then he’ll learn that Neige is super horny and outspoken about what he would do to Vil’s body, and start avoiding him like a plague lol It will create weird tension between them, that’s for sure. It’s not like Vil can reveal Neige’s secret to anyone either, because he would also get attention like that…

Anonymous asked:

I notice you said that Idia wasn’t really in love with Azul. If so, why did he marry him?

Anon! I’m sorry but I’ll use your ask to note that there is another asks related to this AU, but I can’t post the reply just yet because it requires some context (a comic that we haven’t posted yet). I thank both you and that Anon for your patience and your interest in this AU <3

To answer your question! In terms of benefits, it’s true that Azul has more to gain from their marriage than Idia (Idia is aware of that), but Azul actually makes Idia’s life easier in a lot of ways! He keeps Idia’s human interactions to a minimum and does all the talking for him, he is his representative in every affair that would require Idia to actually go out and communicate with others. Azul organises anything that needs to be organised, he basically does all the thinking for Idia. This is pretty much how Azul pitched this whole thing to Idia: imagine if you didn’t have to think about anything other than doing your thing? Imagine if no one bothered you? Of course, Idia still has stuff to do as the future director of S.T.Y.X., but being with Azul is… comfortable. It’s like Azul always makes sure that Idia’s environment is perfectly conditioned for him.

But in a lot of ways, I think both of them have some feelings for each other. For whatever its worth, Azul gives Idia some comfort. Aside from Ortho, he is probably the closest person to Idia, at least in terms of understanding how each other’s brains work. He knows Azul, he knows his flaws and knows where it is and isn’t safe to trust him. Idia wouldn’t open up completely (Azul wouldn’t either), but hey, if he has to pick someone to spend the rest of his life with while slowly getting tired of each other and starting to feel resentful (funny how Idia views marriage considering his parents seem to love each other), he would rather allow Azul to sign up for that role than someone else. He wouldn’t get any better option than Azul anyway.

Underneath all that rational reasoning could hide the fact that Idia genuinely likes Azul, but doesn’t want to fall in love with him.

Anonymous asked:

Jamil being into powerplay porn feels so right! I sometimes wonder if he would enjoy acting like a brat, if he ever found someone he actually likes and feels comfortable with. I can't really see current Jamil doing it, since he seems like the kind of guy who thinks love and trust are for kids. Even if he suddenly went insane and admitted this, his most likely partners would be awful as "tamers".

Azul wouldn't need to have the details explained to him, but he might take the punishment too far a bit too quickly at the first act of disobedience. Also he is physically unable to turn off the smugness (at least with Jamil), even when he's supposed to act stern. At that point it becomes more like humiliation than "disciplining". Jamil can work with that too, it's just not quite what he's looking for.

Meanwhile Kalim wouldn't even understand (You want to be scolded???). It wouldn't even be entirely Kalim's fault, I think Jamil is worse at explaining things to him, and gets embarassed a lot faster than normal. To his credit, Kalim would figure it out on his own eventually (Oh, so it's like acting in a play!), but he still wouldn't be able to put it in practice. Time to ask the Film Research Club for acting tips!

Anyway essay over, but do you guys have these kind of headcanons where you're like "I could see this character being into this, but only in specific circumstances"?

Oh Jamil would make such a wonderful brat, if only he was comfortable enough doing that and had people around him who could handle him lol Both Azul and Kalim are simply horrible!

I agree that Azul would unintentionally turn disciplining into humiliation, and he would always go too far. He prides himself on his self-control, and he is very good at it usually, but it’s Jamil we’re talking about. Azul is just a man… Ironically, I can picture these two having a fling during which they kind of start arguing/aggressively bickering/flirting/fighting, which always leads to them having sex somehow. It’s very raw and unusual for both of them, and Jamil wouldn’t be comfortable admitting that he likes putting up a fight and being unapologetically rude just to get overpowered by Azul. It’s steamy, and it tickles the bratty bone, but like you said, this isn’t exactly that, and Azul’s face is way too punchable for it to be the perfect deal for Jamil.

Film Research club would be SUCH A GOOD HELP for Kalim! It also made me remember how Rook helped him to work on his wolf roar for Halloween, and Kalim ended up being quite good at it. It’s not impossible for him to learn! But it is difficult because scolding Jamil and punishing him feels so weird to poor Kalim :(

As for headcanons, it’s a bit difficult to tell, because there are a lot of characters, and there are a lot of kinks that they may or may not be kind of into but just a little bit. But answering in yes/no manner, yeah that happens a lot! I think you can see it while reading our hc posts about specific kinks. I think I do the “he wouldn’t be into it BUT” thing a lot lol

Anonymous asked:

Real question: Who would do the dick in a box present prank? Who would do it completely nude? And who would open it?

My first instinct is to say Ace, but unfortunately I think even he would think that it’s kind of immature lol Floyd wouldn’t though! Well sometimes he would, but I could still picture him thinking that this is a hilarious idea and do it completely nude because he misunderstood the assignment a little bit.

Riddle would still open it… I don’t know what he expected.

Lilia could also do it, but neither Silver nor Malleus would want to open it because they know exactly what they’re going to see. Maybe Silver will do it not to upset Lilia…

Idia would also open it, but because he would feel like he’s being held at gunpoint lol Open the box, Idia 🔫

[aerinsfables]

Found this in my Google docs, too! I think I was trying to fit this scene into In The Darkness, but it just wouldn’t work. So I tailored it a little and now imagine it takes place idk somewhere during book 5 before Graulas torched Fablehaven I guess 🤷‍♀️

It’s a mini therapy session between Dale and Vanessa.

——

“Just having a low day?” he asked.

“I messed things up pretty badly.”

He leaned back against one of the porch’s support beams. “You know, if I hadn’t been pinned when you were revealed to be our traitor, I would’ve tried to kill you.”

She bowed her head. “I know.” He would’ve tried to kill her, and she would’ve done whatever it took to protect herself.

Dale looked out across the yard and was silent for a long pause. He glanced at her briefly before he admitted, “I’m glad I was pinned.”

That caught Vanessa’s interest. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he said. His gaze remained focused on some point across the yard; Vanessa couldn’t tell exactly what he was looking at.

“Why?” she asked. “You have plenty of reasons to hate me. Everyone does. I don’t think Ruth will ever trust me again.”

Dale scratched at the scruff on his chin and turned his full attention to her. “I’ve never been particularly good at hating. It takes too much energy, and the days are already tiring enough as is.”

Vanessa didn’t know what to say. She was used to the sideways looks she attracted from what felt like everyone, the conversations which would cease the moment she stepped into a room, sensitive planning meetings which she wasn’t invited to attend.

“You think you’re the only person who’s ever made bad decisions? The only one who regrets their actions? The first person on earth to be duped by someone they’ve admired and trusted? Really?” He shook his head. “Nope.”

“You too?”

“Yes. Not the same circumstances, but yes.” He looked back out across the yard. “All we can do is try again.”

Vanessa turned her attention to a few meandering fairies across the yard as well. “I feel terrible,” she mumbled.

Dale was quiet for a moment, then said, “You should. But don’t stay in that place. Do something about it.”

“How do I redeem myself, though?” she asked. She craved a real answer from him - how could she prove that she had changed?

He began to shrug, but stopped midway and smirked. “Well, we do have a couple of kids with a knack for getting into a lot of trouble. I’m sure something’ll come up eventually. It might be a good move to start there.”

Vanessa leaned her chin onto her knee. “What about the interim?”

“What about teaching the troublemakers some skills?” he suggested.

For what felt like the first time in days, she smiled a little. “I’ll think on that,” she said. “Thank you, Dale. I don’t deserve your kindness.”

“Sure,” he said. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make sure the new barn door Hugo put in today is functional. The chores never end…”

She laughed under her breath a little as he grumbled while he walked away.

[rui-drawsbox]

I’m back on my bullshit 😔. (This got real long as I was writing it so I had to add the keep reading thing for everyone’s sake)

so… Mika as a bit of a villain, a bit of an evildooer, a bit of a malicious man. Would he transform like the magical knights or would he have to manually change outfits? Cuz I doubt that he would just go out without covering his face or disguising himself. If he has powers I would assume he gets his own special form, like an evil magical girl lmao.

Also, I was thinking about Bingus 💀. Mostly the actual threat he could pose to the magical knights. He feels like the type to use henchmen/an army of mindless henchmen, like an army of living dolls.

So, Mika’s powers, if he has em. Personally I don’t know whether he would, he could just be real good in a scrap or have powers given to him by Shu, or he could have magic of his own. If he did have magic of his own I feel like it would be something he didn’t really know to use before Shu got involved with him.

On the topic of Mika’s powers (again), I’m not sure what they would be exactly. I have a couple ideas, shadow manipulation, some kind of physical enhancement thing that lets him fight on past the point of serious injury and do physical feats that shouldn’t be possible (like bending his spine in ways it shouldn’t, or lifting cars and shit like that), or bringing plushies to life, or something to do with crows. Idk man, he has so many options but being a villain and all means he can have more than one to make him threatening : D (I’m getting tempted to write 😔)

Also what weapon would he use? I feel like he’d wield something unconventional, like a chainsaw or those giant pairs of scissors that you see in anime. Alternatively he could wield something graceful like a lance or spear (maybe one that resembles a big sewing needle ✨). Plus with the reach that the spear would have it would make him more menacing, especially in a fight against people wielding swords (cough cough the knights). Either way he’d be terrifying in a fight, I can just feel it. He’s so pathetic but if you hand him a weapon he’s fucking scary. (I really want to draw him lmao)

ALSO JUST HAD A THOUGHT!!! Shu and Mika fighting together could be really cool cuz if Mika has that body enhancement power where he can be injured beyond what’s possible for a normal human and still fight Shu could manipulate him like a doll to fight viciously. I have fight scene ideas in my head. Like straight up angsty shit tbh.

maybe Mika doesn’t know Arashi is a magical knight, and after he finds out he doesn’t want to fight her anymore but Shu pushes him on and actively makes him fight with like his powers or something. Puppet master Shu <<<333

losing my mind rn, anyways Mika screaming and crying while being forced to actively fight Arashi <<33 let him cry 😎 (I love Mika so much but like I want to see him crying sometimes)

Also Shu regretting his actions after realizing how torn up Mika is (emotionally, not just physically for once) after fighting Arashi. Shu redemption arc? Nah, that’s for season two, he’s a villain, he’s gonna double down on his shitty behavior by internalizing all of this and pushing Mika away while yelling excuses to get Mika to leave. Like calling him broken or useless because he knows it will get Mika to leave him. 🫠 I love writing too much, angst specifically.

also Mika bonding with knights at school before the reveal and seeing them as his first actual friends and companions outside of Shu. I feel like that would be really cute.

back to the girl boss and her friends cuz I’ve talked about Mika enough for now.

ARASHI AND KNIGHTS NOT BEING FRIENDS BEFORE ALL THIS BULLSHIT (except Ritsu, girlies gotta be girlies ya know?) AND BONDING OVER ALL OF THIS SHIT AND GROWING TO CARE ABOUT EACHOTHER LIKE A REAL FAMILY.

they should go sing karaoke together with Mika.

also just them doing domestic stuff together in general. Like having a movie night or cooking together.

ALSO, ya know how a lot of magical girl shows have like second forms or power ups that get revealed around the mid season, and how these are sometimes locked behind character based trials? Like, some character development has to happen first before the character can start using this more powerful magic?

I’ve been thinking. 😔 still don’t have words for these thoughts tho so I’ll be back.

Mika should unlock his true magical knight form, when.. OH HOLY SHIT HE COUKD BE LJKE A DARK KNIGHT, WAIT OH MY GOD I JUST HAD THIS THOUGHT!!! Back to what I was saying, he could unlock his true magical knight form after he leave Shu and, and! Decides to forgive him and actively starts working with the knights to save Shu from himself. Now that I’m thinking on it more, I feel like this would be more of a self actualization thing for mika. He’s finally making a decision for himself, and it goes against Shu’s wishes completely. Maybe he could get his actual powers in a burst of righteous fury over one of Shu’s self destructive actions :):):) broseph should grab that pretty boy by the collar and scream at him for once. It would do Shu some good to be yelled at occasionally, humble him.

I’m gonna shut the fuck up now. Arashi’s super magical girl form should be queen related cuz she’s the queen of knights, yada yada, I need to continue unpacking my stuff from my recent move, so I’m done opening my skull like a trap door and pouring the contents into your ask box for now.

I’ll be back (assume the tone was menacing, like an old wizard who speaks of the end times)

Your au is so fucking cool btw, thank you for the brain worms :):):)

Replying this took way more time than i thought because turns out i cant think in words lmao, so i sketched all the ideas i got from this in my free time the past days ksbxk

Starting with Mika and weapons! (And other's weapons but mainly Mika)

Yea hes pathetic but also the biggest menace with a weapon. At first i thought about double swords or some fact double weapon (u can see i recently watched the puss in boots movie) but i also like the idea of showing how inhumanly strong he is with his weapon, so a Claymore! A Big ass sword that is weird not being scared of getting closer! Im talking about his henchemen moment, because after all his redemption arc i feel like giving him a more futuristic spear, kind of like a sewing needle yea (i didn't drew that cuz i thought about It after but u get It?)

Now designs! My favorite parts! Henchemen!Mika:

An easy to fix/change-specific-parts uniform! Provided by his boss!

I honestly think he would not be completly human, mabye a genetically modified one or entirely artificial. I mean, if Knights are getting their powers from some random alien why not artificial people? I like the idea of his body being like a wooden doll, those which all their joints are joined by an elastic inside the body (or reference dolls for artists if is easier to search?), so he could stretch/broke his bones all he wants without worrying, besides, if his skin is hurt badly Shu would "heal" It for the sake of his incognito mode!

After redemption!Mika:

Dont focus in the colors--I'll fix It when i make everyone's outfits in digital skdjjs

Futuristic! Neon! Transparent parts of clothing! Bold shapes! Mika is now a brand new person, letting behind his heavy past focused on obedience to live his own life! In part thats why i wanted to give this version of him a spear, because its a lot more lighter than the Claymore and can be used a lot more freely!

Now the rest of Knights designs! Ritsu, Leo and Tsukasa:

(Tsukasa sword is in the wrong hand but lets ignore that)

Ritsu's skirt is really puffy, mainly because It makes me think its extremely comfy and soft like a cloud should feel! His cape is in the right side so It won't bother when using his sword

Leo skirt is parted at the side so he isnt limited by the cloth when fighting, talking about that! I gave him two swords mainly because hes ambidextrous but also because he gives me messy figther vibes, specially having fun when is surrounded

Tsukasa always gave me the most classical knight vibes, so he has the most simplest but not less elegant outfit! Really, search Female Knight and at least in the first five images there's someone with a similar skirt/naked legs

Now with some random ideas: i would LOVE the idea of Knights adopting Mika after he's dumped by Shu, It would be like Arashi taking care two times at week, the others one day at week and the free day they do a sleepover all together! It would be like that until him and Shu make up in the second season lmao. And yes It would be a heavy angst, the series starts with Arashi learning how to be a Magical Girl and making friends along the way and then It finish being super dramatic and sad. The only thing that could recover watchers from the finale is the classic outro where It shows everyone's getting along, Shu being scolded by Mika for being rude to someone and the final image is the graduation photo with everyone showing their diplomas and jumping like the good ol' Friends they are JWJDJJA

But no yea, come back anytime, i love reading all your ideas for the au! Theyre very creative and is super fun to imagine all the situations you describe!

[cartoonrival]

I've been on T for 3 years, and I've been indecisive all my life. I went in a whole lot of circles for months trying to make up my mind about whether I wanted to or not.

The process I went through was basically: I came out around Nov. 2020. thought that I would probably eventually want to start T based on watching other people's progress videos and started doing research about the effects. saw a therapist to try and be sure starting T was the right thing for me (therapist ended up being really shitty and thought that going on T would make me binary + not asexual, spoiler alert it did not). put it off another 5-6 months longer than I had intended to be sure shitty therapist wasn't influencing my decision. made up my mind not to start, because I was sure my extended family would cut me off. My thought process at the time was like, if could just be stuck on a desert island I would do it, if I could just live in isolation forever, then I would do it, but I couldn't handle the idea of explaining to anybody why I needed to. started breaking down crying a couple times a week at the idea of never getting to go on T. met a guy at a party who had just started T and I was so consumed with envy that I couldn't think about anything else the entire time. made an appointment with my informed consent clinic 1 month out to make sure I was sure, and then told my parents. They freaked out a little because they were convinced that going on T would make me bald and also dead (neither of those things has happened yet), and then they got over it, and the rest of my family ended up being fine. Finally started T in May 2021. One minor health issue since then (too many red blood cells), but zero regrets.

Sorry this is long. I think probably a lot of the indecision I went through might have been unnecessary, but the process of sorting through my own doubts about it was still really important. I don't know the situation you're in, but for me the most important thing to figure out was whether I was avoiding doing it because I didn't want the effects, or because I was worried about what other people would think. Also idk if i can include links but check out this piece by Daniel Lavery, it just perfectly captures the kind of justifications I was running through trying to talk myself out of starting https://thenewinquiry.com/the-stages-of-not-going-on-t/ I think indecision must be incredibly common and normal, if not universal.

thank you very much for this. i think i personally have a very hard time imagining myself in situations i’m not in or in a hypothetical future so like. i have no fucking idea what i would do if i started growing facial hair. there is genuinely no way for me to know if i want facial hair until i see myself irl with facial hair, for example. that’s i think where the core of my indecision comes from is i’m so wildly guessing about a future that does not exist yet and i cannot fathom what it would be like until i’m there. a lot of my transition has been like that but this is obviously the most significant decision i’ve confronted so far so the fact that i cant visualize it stresses me out more than usual. so like asking myself hypothetical questions doesn’t work because i truly don’t know, beyond the fact that i want a deeper voice. but what if i dont!!!!!! but at THAT point i’m definitely in the deserted island scenario where if i wasn’t around other people i would want it deeper. and that’s really the only outwardly obvious change that’s also permanent. so maybe i shouldn’t die wondering. cuz i was daydreaming abt it constantly for months then the day came to start and i got so scared suddenly and now for the past month it’s been causing me endless grief abt this thing that i want to do but also don’t want to do. but i can’t figure out what the reason for not wanting to is. if it’s fear or not wanting to. i’m rambling! thank you for answering <3

[floatingwithlaura]

im gonna say it on here bc it’s safer than my other socials atm. i don’t think im trans (fully). i was dead sure for 9? years. i feel like i am losing a part of myself - i am ACTUALLY gaining something but idk my heart is breaking a bit.

i was on T for 2 and a half years. i was gonna get top surgery (and decided not to for diff reasons). i changed my name. the sex on my passport is M. like. i was SO SURE.

now after all this time i’ve finally been unpacking shit in therapy and also learning about autism. and … yeah. i fucked up lmao.

it is entirely on me, i chose to do all i did and i chose to get done what i did. i consented to everything and i do not regret it. i just feel like… let down. that i wasn’t offered the support i needed earlier to understand myself and how i would feel more comfortable.

i am happy w a lot of T changes! like super happy. it made me feel like my own person. but.. yeah.

i think i would consider myself agender but i dont wanna say i identify that way bc its less of an identity and more of just my general understanding of gender. i have never understood gender. probably an autism thing! but i just DONT GET IT. i dont know how it is meant to ‘feel’ or how u even know which one u fit in.

since i was a child i just couldn’t grasp gender like everyone else and i guess that’s why i transitioned bc i never felt like a real girl. but then i didnt ‘feel’ like a boy either. and then i decided to come out as nonbinary but idk. i never ‘felt’ like that either.

to make matters more complicated, my abusive ex stepdad would bully and belittle me for being afab. he made me HATE being born how i was. the csa i felt was only because of my being born this way. no wonder i wanted to get away from it all. i refused to believe he could have an impact like that when i was 16 or so and people were suggesting it. it made me feel even more out of control. all i wanted was to be in charge of my body for once. transitioning felt like getting that control back (one of the reasons im so grateful for it).

in an ideal world gender wouldn’t exist n we would all just utilise hormones and surgery to feel good in our skin much like any other affirming surgeries.

for now i will use they/she pronouns. but idc really. gender is confusing and unimportant to me. i care more for aesthetics lmao ..

i hope this makes some sense n if anyone resonates with it plz dm me :,) i feel quite alone currently. i know it’s a very odd experience but i hope someone somewhere gets it.

[rhaenin-writing-time]

I have no idea if you’re still looking over comments for your outline, but I love what you’ve currently put up so far. Aemond as a certified parentified momma’s boy while trying to also not be with his mom is forever hilarious. You’ve absolutely nailed his character (it’s almost eerie how exactly you got his mommy issues/personality down, his “I regret that business with Luke” in the latest episode was such an Alicent moment).

For the falcon’s shadow, I know that’s supposed to reference Aemma, but does it/will it have any connection to Jace as well in his bird costume? Cause the Lost in the Dark section, with “too many kinds of light” makes it seem as if he might be in the same dream that Jace and Aegon were in. But Aemond also seems too disconnected from (or maybe stiff towards) his Valyrian side to really join them.

I do love the part about Dreamfyre and how Aemond views effort spent towards being respectful of dragons and customs around them as frivolous. The set up of showing how Aemond clearly has no real care or understanding for Valyrian culture - except when he “wants the kind of power and influence that is specific to Targaryens” - that will eventually lead him to essentially ‘forcing’ a bond with Vhagar without any comprehension of how dragons are their own beings, not just a simple extension of the rider, is great.

Do you know if you’re planning to add any disconnected relationship between Rhaenys and Laenor? Cause while Corlys is obviously more unaccepting of Laenor’s homosexuality, I feel like his acceptance with Laenor’s children probably helped a little bit (at least when Luke takes Corlys’ attention by liking girls). But Rhaenys’ lack of acceptance for his children, simply because they’re not related biologically, must have caused a rift. Cause her acceptance of his homosexuality in the show feels like the very shallow acceptance in real life of tolerating the idea of being gay, yet not acknowledging any of the actual consequences of being such.

You mentioned in your latest post that you expected the arc to only be about 5 chapters, do you mean the whole section of “under the Dragon’s eye”, or just “Dark Nightmare of the Soul”? I’m a bit confused.

For your fic in general: do you know where the chapter scene of Rhaena ‘poisoning’ Daemon went? I haven’t been able to find it anywhere since your story was reorganized. And do you plan to include any of season 2 for your story, or has the characterization not really changed anything for you? (Honestly, the only real change to me seems like Alicent and Aemond have gotten way more Catholic - their weird “if I’m feeling guilty then I’m forgiven” was so bad).

Forever going to love your story, genuinely one of the best fanfics I’ve read.

Haha yeah I don't know how some people were so surprised about Aemond, I thought he was pretty clear cut. Fortunately for us, and Rhaenyra, he got his coddling fix when Baela sent him running home crying into his mother's arms. so Rhaenyra's safe for the time being. Now he wants to feel like a MAN.

When I say "this arc" I mean going back to fire and ice packs lol. I really underestimated how much I'd need to include to believably (at least I hope) establish a lot of new status quo's that are wildly divergent from show or book, especially regarding Rhaenyra and her siblings. And I ended up moving a lot up from later parts to avoid repetition later on in this fic. But if you look back at the outline you'll see that I colored the part that were currently in red, because we are almost done this arc. Rhaenyra soon faces the "final boss" and the revelation, and then... time and PEOPLE start moving.

Rhaena poisons Daemon in "Never get involved in a land war in essos part 2. I just split the chapter up because it was relatively long compared to the chapters around it.

Idk Aemond and Alicent have always seemed super catholic to me. I'm not going to take any extra steps to accommodate season 2, and I'm definitely leaving out Alicent/Cole because 1. It simply wasn't earned after they cut so much of that thread from the first season and 2. It's far too "modern" Catholic of BOTH of them. These are medieval Catholic extremists who are perfectly capable of getting off on the superiority of their own celibacy and "courtly love." And I'm not saying it couldn't be a reasonable turn for the characters, but they needed to show the journey. And they didn't. So it just feels kind of cheap and like the writers don't understand the world these characters are operating in, or their specific place in it.

Anyways, chapter coming. I promise. Life is weird and also writing has gotten more difficult/complex for a variety of reasons.

[netherfeildren]

hey uhhhh

is it okay to ask you for some general advice? if not, please please delete this, i absolutely understand, this may be quite the heavy ask.

do you have any wisdom about how to forgive yourself for things? i feel like i’m just constantly carrying around all this guilt and it serves no purpose. like it’s not even guilt for things that have any effect on other people, it’s solely internal. and even if it’s for things that have passed or didn’t actually lead to anything negative, i still feel it. and i don’t know how to just let it go.

super sorry to be depressing in your inbox, but idk your writing just makes me feel like you might understand the sentiment.

hello my friend. i don’t know if i have any advice per se that you’d find useful but i do have experience so i will share this with you now. last year i behaved in a way that was truly truly terrible. i did things, i let things be done to me, that id never ever experienced before. by my mothers own mouth i was a person that i’d never been before and it was so horrible to live through. and now, when i think back on that tiny little person i let myself be for all that time i feel so much regret and so much embarrassment. so forgiveness? relinquishing guilt? i’m not so sure i’ve mastered that yet, but i do know with all my heart that i never want to be the way i was then ever again. so then i think of my guilt or my shame or whatever it is that remains of that past me and i think what does it do for me to hold on to all that? it already happened, it’s already done. those mistakes i regret so desperately, i already did it all and there are no take backs and that’s it. to err is human after all, and we can’t help but be what we are. i’m very much the sort who sees things in an ‘it is what it is’ sort of way in all aspects of life. so whatever it is that happened, there’s no sense in holding on to all that because there’s nothing we can do to change what happened then. the only thing in our control now is the next moment. i’d say, even if you don’t feel ready to do it yet, think of the next day or month or however much time you need, and hold on to that next moment of you, and you’ll eventually get back to yourself. nothing is forever, especially not a bad feeling.

and please, never apologize for sharing how you feel. i dump all of my feelings on all of you guys all the time completely uninhibited, it’s only fair i return the favor every now and again