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hannah-louise-97 · 1 day ago

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🍃THE RIVERS EDGE🍃

Just a Noa/Mae drabble I came up with this evening, I might continue it 🤭

@nomae-week-2024

-adult content-

-18+

It had been approximately three months. After Mae left Noa that day, she couldn’t stop thinking about him and how she felt protected with him around, wishing she would one day, by coincidence, stumble across him.

She wasn’t really welcome back with the humans due to being immune to the simian flu but still at risk of carrying it. She felt more alone than ever and missed Noa terribly.

She clung onto the symbol that Noa gave to her with one hand as it rested against her chest and held onto the reigns tightly with the other as she travelled on horseback through the forest in the hopes of finding a safe place to settle for the evening.

She took a deep breath and looked up at the trees as she travelled, the golden sun rays shone onto the ground and danced with the movement of the leaves. Looking to her left, she saw the faint sparkle of a river.

Slowing her horse down to a stop and dismounting, she walked over to the riverbank and looked around, listening to the gentle flow of water along with the birds singing. She closed her eyes, and the golden shimmers sparkled onto her face, but she still struggled to shake Noa from her mind.

Unknowingly to Mae, Noa was close by, he dismounted from his horse and looked around, making sure that it was safe to camp out there for the night.

Mae stood up, finally deciding that she wanted to bathe. She began taking off her clothes, unaware of Noa standing not too far away, and he wasn’t aware of her presence yet either.

Noa crouched down and set up his sleeping place, eventually satisfied that it looked comfortable enough, although he wasn’t too fussed about sleeping on hard ground. He smiled with approval but stopped abruptly when he heard rustling not too far from him. Glancing up, his eyebrows quickly lowered when he saw movement. Then, when his eyes finally adjusted, he saw her, the pale skin that seemed to glow in the suns rays.

Mae slowly stepped into the river, her breath quickening with the sudden temperature change, she stood there for a moment to get used to the cold water.

Noa’s eyes widened, he wasn’t sure what to do, if course he was glad to see her. But as he stood completely still and watched, the feelings from when he last saw her came flooding back. Scolding himself that she wasn’t of his kind, he couldnt help but stare for a little too long, it had definitely caught him off guard, but after observing for a while, he finally made the decision to grab his blanket from his saddle and walk over to her. Was it a mistake? He didn’t know, didn't exactly care either. He just wanted to get a better look.

Mae sank lower and lower into the river until all that was showing was her head, she hummed softly with relaxation. Unknowingly to her, Noa slowly edged closer, his eyes narrowing with curiosity as he watched her lean back and close her eyes whilst the gentle lapping of water covered her.

Noa reached the waters edge and crouched down. A feeling quickly came over him that he had never felt before, and the faint sound of his intrigued grunts escaped his throat.

As he laid the blanket onto the grass for Mae to step out onto, his eyes never left her. Tilting his head, he was completely mesmerised and not able to break away from the urge of wanting to see more of her. he couldn’t help it. His eyes narrowed to try and get a better look, but the waters shimmers made it impossible for him to see the details on her chest.

Mae opened her eyes slowly, and the suns brightness made her squint. Sitting up and giving her eyes time to adjust until she could see clear enough, she looked at the riverbank and noticed the blanket that Noa had laid out. Smiling, she instantly realised it was his, and stepped out onto the bank.

Noa stood with his back against a tree, his mind racing. Experiencing this feeling he had never felt before made him question a lot of things, causing him to let out an irritated sigh. He didn’t look at her, not once. He was lost in wondering why he felt these certain feelings towards her. Scrunching up his nose and repeating the phrase;

“She is... a human”

Mae looked at him as she dried herself the best she could with the blanket. She walked over to her horse and began putting on her clothes until Noa cleared his throat, making her pause.

“she is... beautiful” he said, still looking away from her.

“Huh?” She spun around to face him, raising a brow.

His gaze darted from left to right until he finally composed himself enough to ask “you are... camping here, too?”.

Mae nodded but was in shock. She had wanted to see him again for so long but could only manage to gawk at him with, was he taller than before? She could see from his side that he was wearing more feathers underneath his arm cuff.

Walking closer to him, she had the realisation that she was naked, but Noa was an ape. He surely wouldn’t care, right?

“I thought I smelt too terrible to be around, Noa?” She taunted.

He smirked as his green eyes cautiously trailed in her direction but still unable to look directly at her “You bathed... there is... an excuse”

He turned to face her, and seeing her uncovered caused him to hold his breath. It almost made him want to pounce on her there and then. He wondered what this feeling was. Why did he feel this way for a human? He turned away and wrinkled his nose, trying to shake it off.

Mae turned and picked up her clothes, leaving Noa to his instinct but unknowingly to her, it was growing too strong for him, he glanced up at her body and the sudden vision of him pinning her to a tree and biting onto her collarbone sent him into a spin. He shook his head quickly, trying to snap himself out of it.

“So why are you out here?” Mae asked, but was startled when she turned back around and bumped into him. Noa had moved closer to her without her knowledge.

She looked up at him and saw his emerald eyes staring down at her. Before she could speak, the fur on his torso brushed off of her bare breasts, causing her to shudder. She gulped uncontrollably and dropped her clothes, wondering if it was really happening.

Mae knew that this fantasy had been swirling around her mind for such a long time, but now, the feeling she had was almost too much.

Noa kept his eyes on her “you are... beautiful” he spoke in a low gravelly whisper.

Mae didn’t reply, she stood there holding her breath and staring up at him and feeling his hand touch softly against hers, she knew that it was dangerous, but now hearing him growl as he leaned closer to her made her realise that he felt the exact same way for her.

#kingdomoftheplanetoftheapes #kingdom of the planet of the apes #planetoftheapes2024 #planet of the apes #apesmovies #noamae #Noa x Mae #noa planet of the apes #noa pota #mae planet of the apes #MaePOTA #short fanfic #fanfiction #ship fic #nomaeweek #nomae

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mind-intheclouds342 · 9 hours ago

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Do it for them - Co-captain reader x Curly

Previous - Part 17 - Next

You were looking at the table with your cup of coffee in front of you.

So... calm...

You could think before hearing the loud bang.

You immediately got up running, worried to know that the hallway from where that was coming was where he was locked up.

Your heart almost stopped for a second when you saw the door to his room wide open.

Swansea lying on the floor unconscious.

What alarmed you the most was that he didn't have his axe with him.

Daisuke: "What happened?!"

He ran to the scene. While you were searching Jimmy's room from top to bottom, making sure he wasn't there.

"Stay with Swansea and lock yourselves in Jimmy's room! At least he won't be able to get in there! Now! Now!"

You helped Daisuke move Swansea to the room and closed the door once they were both inside.

You ran through the hallways to head directly to the nursery, hoping to arrive before him since it wasn't locked because you no longer felt the need to close it.

The baby's cry made you realize that you had arrived too late.

Anya: "GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!"

The woman was holding a chair from that place, the baby was crying loudly lying alone on the bed, Curly was watching from his stretcher, breathing heavily.

Jimmy: "I just want to talk to the captain, get out of my way."

He had the axe in hand, he looked completely out of his mind.

The moment you saw him raise the axe, you drew the gun from your uniform, took off the safety, and the first thing you did was aim for his head.

To quickly lower your aim and shoot behind his knee, making him scream and fall to the ground in an instant.

You immediately jumped on him to pin him to the ground, kicking the axe out of his reach.

You saw him open his mouth and didn't hesitate to put the gun against his cheek.

"You don't have the right to say a single word."

He fell silent upon feeling the metal against his face, looked around the room, and fixed his eyes on Anya, who for the first time held the baby to try to make her stop crying.

As soon as Anya picked her up, she immediately left the room; she didn't want to be near that man, and the need to keep an innocent creature away from such a monster gave her the strength to carry the baby and leave with her.

You were soon alarmed by several footsteps, and when you looked at the door, you sighed seeing the rescue team, feeling tranquility after such a long time.

They first took care of Curly, followed by Jimmy for the wound in his leg, and then soon continued with Anya and the baby. She had to give a testimony about the events in order to press charges against Jimmy, the baby being her strongest evidence.

You had to get Swansea and Daisuke out of the room where they had hidden, they took the older one to make sure he was okay, he was still just unconscious from the blow to the head he received when he was thrown to the ground.

You sat next to Daisuke in the rescue ship, staring at the floor distractedly.

The boy placed his hand on your shoulder, making you turn to look at him slowly.

Daisuke: "You saved us, you did it"

You felt how he hugged you and rested his head on your shoulder, feeling your uniform soak with his tears.

Daisuke: "We're going back home..."

A few men interrupted you to ask for your testimonies so they could finish their report on the trip and the inconveniences you encountered.

You didn't even know how you were able to answer all the questions they asked you, your mind was on autopilot, responding monotonously until they let you go.

"Is everything really going to be how it was before?"

You asked Curly, sitting next to him, they had changed the bandages again, his wounds disinfected and carefully treated, he no longer bled constantly, he had an intravenous line, and his bed was much more comfortable than the stretcher he had been on before.

"Of course not..."

You rested your face on his chest, hiding there, feeling his arm resting on your back.

"Can I tell you something?...It's...Very important"

He made a hum and waited for you to tell him what you had in mind.

You leaned closer to his ear to whisper what you wanted, he looked at you for a few seconds somewhat puzzled, but soon seemed happy as he let out a pained chuckle, nodding his head.

You hugged him gently, nothing was going to be the same as before, but you were going to do everything possible to ensure that at least everyone would be happy after such a tragedy.

#mouthwash #do it for them mouthwashing #mouthwashing game #mouthwashing #mouthwashing x reader #curly mouthwashing #jimmy mouthwashing #anya mouthwashing #captain curly #daisuke mouthwashing #swansea mouthwashing #captain curly x reader #curly x reader #mouthwashing curly

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icanbeyuoronewingedangle · 21 hours ago

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violent by circumstance

i read a thread from twitter about how moxley and orange mirror each other. it wasn't a bad thread but the only things it really said are that both were comedic characters who've been betrayed that have become more violent. it doesn't get at what makes their dynamic so interesting, especially with this current feud.

orange becoming more violent is a reaction to the world around him. orange cassidy, over his time in aew, has become more isolated; he's been targeted, he's been taken advantage of, and he's become worse at hiding his frustration. this is because of the most important change in his character; he's gotten an ego. the orange cassidy that showed up in 2019 let himself get thrown out of a battle royale without fighting. that is not the same person who held the international title for a year, who felt that bag growing heavier every week.

mox has been able to prod that ego, last year by calling the best friends jokes, this year by targeting chuck taylor. chuck, who stood by orange when they were betrayed by trent. the orange cassidy of 2019 wouldn't have had it in him to take on mox alone, or stick his hand in a bucket of broken glass to hurt mox. but he also wouldn't have been important enough to target. mox wants to bring the best version of orange out, the orange cassidy that has proven himself over the past 5 years, and he'll do anything to achieve that.

for moxley, violence is self actualization. it's how he shows who he is, after he wasn't able to show it in wwe. he wanted to spread the gospel of bloodshed with bryan, and when he thought bryan couldn't preach anymore, he took him out. in orange i think he sees himself, someone using humor to hide a killer's instinct. maybe he's right, but we're seeing a common theme in aew, which is that glory isn't as important as your connections.

mjf threw the title aside to embrace adam cole at aew's biggest show ever. hangman's quest for justice and vengeance has left him a shell of his former self. toni was able to dance out of wembley, having lost mariah and her title but gaining the adoration of the crowd that she sought. the power of love saved the elite against the bcc.

orange cassidy has lost all of the best friends by betrayal or murder. his rage caused him to try to paralyze trent. even though he has the conglomeration backing him, he's become emo. it's at the point where he feels like he needs to take on moxley alone because he doesn't want anyone he cares about to get hurt. and his gained ego allows him to think he's capable of doing it alone.

moxley takes no joy in what he's doing, but he's utterly dedicated to carrying on nonetheless. he has allies, but they're not there for him, they're there for the cause. if he doesn't feel like they're doing enough for it, he will cast them aside, as he did bryan. if they think he's faltered, they'll probably kill him too.

orange and mox are both using their abilities to protect their visions for aew. both have become greater by dedicating themselves to violence above the connections they've made. both of them are miserable for it.

#jon moxley #orange cassidy #aew #pro wrestling #the conglomeration #death riders #wheeler yuta #kris statlander #trent beretta #chuck taylor #bryan danielson #claudio castagnoli #pac #marina shafir

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werevampiwolf · 2 days ago

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Also, people can change from how they were raised. My parents are low-key white supremacists (low-key in that they'd say they weren't if you asked, but if you read them some talking points with no context, they'd agree with them). Consequently, I had to unlearn a lot of things once I got old enough to understand what was going on (and was allowed to access outside information, because I was kept extremely sheltered and isolated for most of my childhood). I did need people to give me some level of patience and space to possibly mess up as I learned. I'm not talking about saying the N-word or something; that's not something I ever liked. I'm talking like "wow, you're really pretty for a [insert thing here] girl" or asking to touch someone's 4C hair. I wasn't taught as a small child that that was rude, and was actually taught that things that were a lot more "macro" than microagressions were okay, so I had to learn where the line is. I like to think that I would have still powered through in learning not to be how I was raised if people were constantly jumping down my throat for every little thing, even though I was trying my best, but I can't actually say that for sure. I'm only human, after all, and I was just a teenager at that.

(I'm not exaggerating on what my parents are like, either. My parents made me promise when I was 8 (in 2004) that I would never date or marry outside my (white) race, and my parents still defended that the last time I brought it up, because "no one wants mixed babies.")

And I'm also a disabled trans queer who's also a leftist, and the only person I've ever been in a relationship with was mixed race. You obviously can date a person of color and still be racist though (also see "i have a black friend"), but my point is that even though I didn't keep the agreement, I can't change the fact that I did still make that agreement in the first place. Though I don't blame myself too much for that particular incident because I was 8; I wasn't even really conceptualizing dating in anything but the broadest of strokes yet (and I ended up being demi ace). Also, I really wouldn't have had the option to refuse, and doing so would have put me in danger. I didn't know it at the time, but my mother had already planned to kill me a few years prior for being "difficult" (AKA having autism that they refused to let me get diagnosed with). I'm pretty sure the only reason she didn't was because she wasn't sure she'd be able to overpower me without help from my dad, since I was always big and strong for my age, and my mother has had a severe back injury my entire life.

This isn't just a me patting myself on the back either. My point is that people can actually change, but you do need to let them. You don't have to forgive them, but no one is ever going to get better if they feel like they're not allowed to. They may be taking a real risk by even considering "disloyalty". You think neo-nazi groups let you just walk away and become a leftist without a fight? They don't. And even if they're not putting themselves in physical danger, it's still very isolating to leave behind your friends and family and start over. (I never had to leave a neo-nazi group, though I know someone who did, but I have experienced the isolation from leaving everything behind.)

Just... try and be patient with those who are fighting with you, who are still learning but are trying their best.

Never forget that acceptance of far-right ideals (ie tradwives, terfs, casual racism) in liberal spaces is a huge part of why today’s radicalization is so widespread and unquestioned

#i no longer require more patience than anyone else because I've learned a lot #and leftist infighting isn't going to make me turn away #but I'm well into my journey #if i was still in the beginning then i might have turned back in that instance #it's fucked up but it's true #i can't say either way because i didn't give up #but i could have #I'm only human

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woobiedoovo · 3 days ago

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What do you think of fem! Stan?!? Do you have any hcs regarding her?? How do you think the timeline would change if she was a cis girl and how would that impact stancest?? Would their dynamic have any differences or is it the same with a few minor changes

Oh!!! Hello there !! Before I start rambling I just want you to know that you’re one of my first Anon’s and I love you let’s get married *mwuh* 🥰

ANYWAYS—

I love fem! Stan. I feel like a major difference would be Ford realizing his feelings for Stan and accepting them WAY sooner.

So first things first, I 100% believe Ford would be WAY more possessive of Stan. Especially when they grow older and puberty hits. When they were younger Ford was able to see Stan as just his best friend, his twin, the one person who seemed to understand him. Love wasn’t really something he cared about, not when he had Stan by his side.

But as they grew older and Stan started *ahem* maturing, Ford realized his feelings were maybe a bit less platonic than he thought. When she started dating, Ford would go mental. He would try to convince Stan that they were just trying to use her for sex. Anytime she had a date he would have to know when and where it was happening so he could make sure she was safe. And whenever they inevitably broke up, he would wipe away her tears and tell her how she deserved so much better. That they were idiots for thinking they will ever do better then Stan.

And when Stan would fall asleep, Ford would be so smug. Every break up just proves how it’s supposed to be Stan and Ford. He would have never left her for something as petty and idiotic as “holding out,” on him. Stan and his first time would be precious, something memorable and romantic. Just like how Stan likes it.

(Never mind most of Stans high school relationships ended because Ford was driving her boyfriends away with his possessiveness.)

And when Stan saves Ford from the portal? He goes absolutely feral at how well Stan has aged. She’s just as beautiful as the day he lost her.

Here’s some general head canons I have for fem! Stan:

- 100% chubby queen and we love her for it

- She secretly did boxing, but also did ballet because her Ma wanted her to

- Just like canon Stan (at least in my mind), she has been in love with Ford since childhood

- her homeless years were ROUGH, even worse then canon Stan’s (being a homeless teenager in the 70’s with no high school diploma is bad, being a girl on top of that makes it worse.)

- has a tattoo on her crotch (because I said so)

- still strong as hell, like she deserves !!

#stancest #hopefully this alright Anon!! I love the idea of fem Stan and Ford does to tbh #he doesn’t care about Stan’s gender #he’s stansexual #60s fem Stan and Ford get married on a remote island bc I say so #once again I PROMISE to come back to this once I finish writing a drabble that has gotten way longer than I thought it would #I should give my asks a name #uh #Woobie talking to the void #there :)

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sockatoothewafflebird · 22 hours ago

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regarding my previous post abt caitlyn.

"multiple times she's shoved into a seat she doesn't know how to fill, while mentally unfit to fill it. and she accepts it because the eyes of the world are upon her. she's a kiramman, she will take the crown even if it won't stick to her head. even if the crown has bloodstains on it. even if those bloodstains are an oddly familiar shade of pink that she wishes she could run her fingers through..."

that's what my prev post said. and i'd like to add to this. super long analysis warning lmao sorryyy

we've got a lot on caitlyn's plate. she has to fill the shoes of her mother, who DIED, and she isn't given a moment to breathe. she's faced with a hole she'll never be able to fill and she's forced to focus on getting rid of the problem rather than focusing on herself for a while. ambessa doesn't help bringing together the nobles of piltover and saying to basically the whole fucking city "caitlyn kiramman is your leader."

she's trying to run a city while under the influence of emotions she's yet to unpack. it can't be good for her. topped with her having forgotten what she's shooting for.

caitlyn has a heart of gold, only tainted by the corrupt system piltover has in place. i'm still on the fence regarding whether her saying "i thought you were different" was her just saying things in a blind rage not really meaning it, or her saying it because she's still fundamentally prejudiced. leaning towards the latter but we'll just have to see.

in the beginning caitlyn was shooting because she wanted to help people and she wanted to incite change. in a way, that is what she's doing now, but her anger, grief, stress and fear are mutilating her original intent. now she's shooting because she wants revenge, whether she recognizes that or not.

the city needs healing, that's what she was shooting for. she's lost sight of that in her clouded mind; she's suffocated by her responsibilities, drowned by her feelings, and she's forced to push through despite it all.

back to the point. caitlyn has a lot on her plate. a dead mother, an undercity in chaos, a topside in fear, a love interest that she's either making out with or butting head with (no in-between), and the responsibility of controlling all of it. she cannot reasonably do that. there's no fucking way.

i think she's going to hold it all up beautifully at the start. just like normal she seems like an effortless lifter, but she will feel the snapping of her shoulders, breaking of her bones beneath the weight. she can't carry all of that alone, and i think that's what will bring her back to vi, to the undercity.

i can imagine it now...

"i can't do this alone, vi. i should have realized that a long time ago. never should've taken you for granted, never should've doubted you, never should've hit you, god that was so pathetic of me-"

"hey, we'll talk later, cupcake. right now we're kind of about to fucking die so like get your gun please"

thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'll be curled up in my corner with a corkboard covered in pictures and documents connected by thumbtacks and red string, all relating to caitlyn kiramman and/or the world she lives in

#arcane #arcane analysis #arcane s2 spoilers #arcane s2 #arcane spoilers #vi arcane #violet arcane #caitlyn kiramman #caitlyn arcane #caitvi #violyn #vi x caitlyn #waffles word wall

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garciaasfluffypen · 7 hours ago

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take care of me (like i take care of you) pt. 3

pairing: jemily x reader word count: 2.4k warnings: SURPRISE i finished part three and wanted to post it so i could get this cross posted to ao3 hehe. its time to talk(tm) about everything that happened! y/n's rejection sensitive dysphoria episode is a prominent aspect of this part. poor emily doesn't really know what to do except comfort her girlfriends, jj has some issues she's working through, y/n feels absolutely horrible about everything that conspired

after everything that had happened in the past two hours, you were drained. you barely made it to the bedroom before bursting out into tears. this was it. this was the big kablooey. jj hated you now, there was no doubt about it. considering the way she reacted when you had let the term slip past your lips… you never should have done it. you pushed too hard, and this was the end. you’d have to change your name and move to timbuktu so nobody could find you ever again and you’d never be able to embarrass yourself in front of jj and emily anymore. the harsh what did you just call me? reverberated through your mind as you let the sobs take over your body, practically doubling over with the sheer force of guilt. you couldn’t believe yourself. how could you let it get that bad? it hadn’t even been three months and you already fucked up. but that was just it, wasn’t it? the three month curse you were stuck with. nothing romantic ever lasted past three months. it was only time that this one ended, giving you a chance to reset and find something new. your exes were right, you were never good enough. you always did something wrong. it was bound to happen sooner rather than later, and you needed to expect the worst.

peeling off the clothes you had worn to the zoo, you blindly felt in what had been dubbed your drawer for your jammies. you had gotten the shirt from an online store and it was the perfect shirt for when you were having bad days or sensory overloads. and a bonus, it was long enough to cover your butt and go halfway down your thighs. you had gotten it big on purpose, and you were glad you did. once you felt the fabric, you pulled it on and stumbled back to the bed, grabbing a pillow and holding it close to your chest as you continued to try and calm yourself down. logically, you knew you were over reacting, but the fact you were tired mixed with the immense guilt you felt for making jj feel bad… everything piled up and you found yourself trying not to spiral more than you already had.

the door opened and a figure stood there for a second before coming over and pulling you into the biggest hug they could muster. after a second, the scent of emily flew through your senses and slowly but surely you started to calm down as you curled into her arms.

“oh, lovey…”

this was one of the downsides to how bad your adhd and rejection sensitive dysphoria was- when you cried, you cried hard. you had gotten good at bottling up your feelings into a little corner of your mind that barely got touched unless you had a whole weekend carved out to mope around. those weekends were far and few between these days, seeing as the budget increase the bau got gave them more opportunities to take cases. it wasn’t too bad, until this happened and you cried so hard you felt like you might throw up.

you curled into emily’s chest, barely registering the door opening. a red eyed jj stood in the doorframe, hands wringing together as she looked for you. jj looked worse for wear, emily noted. the last time she had seen jj like this was when they were at the fertility doctor earlier in the year, when they talked about the possibility of emily carrying a viable pregnancy. but that wasn’t anything they could talk about right now. the puffiness around her eyes was evident, tear marks showing where she had piled on concealer earlier that morning. she sniffled, gaining your attention. your head perked up and you felt your heart drop when you saw how upset jj was. wordlessly, you shifted on the bed to make room for jj, letting her crawl in, curling herself up between the gap you had created. she wrapped her arms around you, squeezing you tight as she could as a single tear fell down her face. you wiped it away with the pad of your thumb, shooting her a small smile.

“i’m sorry i reacted that way, baby.”

her words were muffled into the palm of your hand, her breath dancing across your skin as you put your cheek on top of your head. your logical thinking skills slowly started to poke through the barriers your rejection sensitive dysphoria always put up during these moments, the realization that it also upset jj hitting you like a ton of bricks. you hated seeing her so upset, especially when you knew you caused some of the upset. granted, everything was still so new and you all were getting used to the idea of the three of you being together, but it still hurt you more than you could ever put into words.

“no, it’s my fault.” you started. “i pushed you too hard. i should have asked before assuming i could just call you mommy and get away with it. do you…?” you trailed off, hoping that jj knew what you were trying to ask.

“i’m not sure how i feel about the use of mommy.” jj said, quieter than normal. “it didn’t make me feel… i didn’t like it.”

emily raised her eyebrow, slightly shocked that jj didn’t give you the full truth. while she knew what seemingly the true reason jj didn’t like being called mommy, she knew that it would be something she revealed to you in due time. hell, jj was still figuring it out herself. the dislike of the feminine terms was something that had started within the past year and a half. yes, jj was very feminine presenting and loved dressing up when given the opportunity, yet she had begun to start hating when she was perceived in a feminine matter. it was an interesting late life dilemma to have, and she wasn’t sure how to go about it. she had been so secure in her identity for years, and to start questioning everything? it had started to send jj into a spiral of thoughts she frankly wasn’t ready to think about yet.

the only other person who knew about her dilemma was tara. it had come out one night while the two were having wine after a long case and emily was stuck at the office filling out more paperwork than intended due to her having shot the unsub. the two of them were a bottle and a half deep into pinot gritiot, and jj had blurted out “do you ever just… not want to feel like a girl?” and now here they were, with emily being the second person to know that jj had started to despise the feminine terms of endearment she had been taught to love growing up. it scared her. but not as much as the thought of you thinking you lost her.

“emmy?” you looked to emily. “do you like being called mommy? because for some reason it felt very natural and i don’t know why.”

“we can toy around with it.” emily squeezed your hand. “thank you for asking.”

“i’m sorry i was super bratty earlier, too. i let it go too far.”

“i thought it was hot, actually,” jj started to blush. “i do think we need to play around with different dynamics and what we’re okay and not okay with. nothing has to be set in stone, but if i’m being honest… it was…”

“i liked it when you got all controlling.” you finished jj’s thought. “i really did.”

“would you want to play around with that more? me being more… in charge sometimes?”

you nodded. “i’d like that. because i like listening to emmy but…”

“it’s very easy for you to listen to me, i know.” emily smirked. “and it’s very endearing.”

“is that something you’re okay with?” you looked over to emily.

“if you’re comfortable with it, then yes.”

“color system applies to everything we try.” jj stated. “any time, you can tell us to stop and we will. or call yellow and we can talk it out. and it applies to you, too. if there’s anything that we don’t like, we’ll tell you.”

you nodded. “is there anything else that i’ve done? have i made either of you uncomfortable?”

emily couldn’t help but clock the nervous look in your eye, seeing the fidgeting start in her peripheral vision. it was sad for her, seeing you like this. she hated when you got sad. you felt certain emotions more than others, and when you did feel them they hit you like a ton of bricks. emily most likely would never know how that truly felt, but she could only imagine the thoughts flowing around in your mind that would make you feel less than. she couldn’t control herself, searching your eyes for any emotion other than guilt. it pained you knowing that you thought you were the reason the conversation was happening. she wanted to grab you by the shoulders and scream at you that it was not your fault and would most likely never be your fault, but she knew that would be counter productive. the three of you were all adults, you could talk about it like adults.

jj on the other hand, felt horrible. her reaction was the reason you felt as if you were the reason the problem persisted. guilt plagued her as she stared at you, her hand coming up to gently brush back some of the strands that had fallen from your braid. she knew her own insecurities were the reason everything was going the way it was, and the main reason the three of you were sat here in various stages of emotional distress, but it was something she knew taking the blame for would just make you feel worse. she didn’t fully understand how your brain always made you think that you were the problem, but it was something you had been fighting for years. even penelope couldn’t get it through your brain that nothing was ever your fault. and that was saying something, since you and penelope had been friends for ten years leading up to when you joined the bau. both emily and jj knew it would take a while to get past the walls you had put up, but they didn’t realize how tough it would be. but it was a fight they were going to get through together, no matter what it meant.

“nothing you’ve done could make us uncomfortable, y/n.” jj’s voice softened. “i know this is new, and it’s making you react in ways that you normally wouldn’t react, right?”

you nodded. “i’m trying to be better, promise. i guess i just want to be taken care of?” you questioned. “but i have a hard time accepting it. like… i just want someone to take care of me like i take care of you. i’m just… i’m getting used to it.”

“is that why you were pushing today?” jj looked at you. “because you wanted to feel taken care of?”

you sheepishly nodded. “a little bit. i liked it when you told me we were leaving and got all bossy.”

jj smiled. “i can do that more. do you want to have a certain phrase or word to let me know when you want it?”

“um… maybe like… a shoulder tap to start? i don’t want to say anything out loud, especially if it happens in front of the team.”

“how about three taps left shoulder?” you nodded, a small smile forming on your face. “and if there’s anything we do when we’re out that you don’t like?”

“i’m not sure of that one yet.” you swallowed. “i’m sorry we didn’t have this conversation earlier. we could have avoided this.”

“lovey, having these conversations is one of the things we need to do to ensure we’re all happy. we can’t necessarily schedule them.”

“i still feel guilty." you sniffled. “i made jj feel bad.”

“oh baby,” jj pulled you back closer to her as the guilt washed over you again. “i’m not mad at you at all. if anything, i over reacted to that. i promise you i’m not mad. i’m not mad at all.”

“you promise?”

“i promise.” jj placed a soft kiss to the tip of your nose. “i’m sorry i made you feel like you hurt me.”

“i’m sorry i didn’t ask you if i could call you mommy and made you upset.” you looked down at your hands, which were fidgeting with your shirt.

jj lifted your chin up with her finger. “hey hey, none of that now. no more feeling bad.”

you chuckled. “okay. i’ll try.”

“how about i draw us a bath?” emily smiled at the two of you. “with the epsom salt for your sore muscles?”

“that sounds really nice.” you smiled. “can we light the candle i like too?”

“vanilla swirl or the one that smells like disney?”

you pursed your lips, thinking. “the one that smells like disney.”

“i’ll go grab it.” emily placed a kiss to the top of your head. “you feeling better?”

“a little bit.” you nodded. “i’ll be better soon.”

“good.” she squeezed your hand. “i’ll go get everything and let you know when the bath is ready.”

emily slipped out of the bed and went to go get your candle, leaving you and jj sitting on the bed together. she placed her forehead against yours, her hand going to cup your cheek as you sat in the silence.

“i-”

“if you say i’m sorry i’m pushing you off this bed.”

you chuckled lightly. “i do feel bad.”

“and i’m telling you that you don’t have to. promise. every relationship is going to have it's issues. we’re just able to talk them out because we’re adults.”

“yeah, you’re right.” you put your head in the crook of jj’s shoulder. “thank you for not being mad.”

jj smiled. “thank you for listening and not freaking out when i told you i didn’t like it.”

“i mean i freaked out a little bit.”

“but not a lot.” jj chuckled. “you’re adorable.”

“you are too. like, a lot.”

you snuggled into jj’s arms, curling into her side. it made you feel a lot better knowing that she wasn’t super mad at you like you thought. while you still felt guilty for making her feel bad, it made you feel better knowing that jj didn’t think of you any differently.

and that she still deeply cared about you.

taglist: @jayden-prentiss @idkwhatever580 @multifandomlesbianic @softestqueeen

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rafeslittlevixen · 3 days ago

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OBX SEASON 4 RANT

SPOILERS AHEAD

This is just my opinion on how this played out, so lets get into it

Rafe and Sofia: I love both of them (Drew and Fiona) but, the storyline is straight up a fanfic, they took the most common fanfic of Rafe and said "yeah, lets do that his redemption arc". I do think Sofia is great for him, does he deserves her? absolutely no. He was so far beyond redemption the only way he could´ve had it was by going to jail or dying, just like Ward did. They were adorable, don´t get me wrong, that version of Rafe was amazing and I know he was trying to change for her and be a better man, and have what Ward had. But I don´t think he actually loved her, he cares about her, she was what he thought was perfect for him, what Ward would want, but then again, Rafe does not know what love actually is, he cares about her in a way he has never cared about anyone, but I do think it was just for the looks and what would people say. As for Sofia, she cares about him, I would say she is really close to loving him, but if she truly loved him she would have never sold him out to Hollis and Groff. If she had truly loved him she would´ve told him about it when he proposed, I know she kinda didn´t let her, but come on, she had to know it was gonna come back to bite her in the ass. So idk, do I think they made a cute couple? yes, but it was bound to happen.

Pope and Cleo: That was the dumbest decision he has ever made, I get that he wanted to protect JJ cause that´s his brother, but come one everyone know you don´t attack a cop. I think its a bit unrealistic that he got away by enlisting, but also I think if that was the only option it is gonna be great for him. I do think Pope has let go a little through the seasons and I love it, but I think that was out of character for him. Cleo, my baby; she IS a though cookie, she´s been kinda on her own her whole life, I do think she would have figured it out but she did not have too. Pope is, in my opinion, the stable thing she needs. Also, him killing the guy who killed Terrance was also out of character but it made sense and also the reaction he had. Do i think it´s gonna haunt him for life? yes. OH AND THE NO GOODBYES CLUB???? adorable, i love them and their little clubs, they ate this season.

Sarah and John B: I knew she was gonna be pregnant, but the fact that the Pates didn´t let her mention she had a choice, does not sit well with me. John B being terrified of becoming his dad was so good, it gave him a complexity and that makes you see a character growth. Also John B being so protective of Sarah was so adorable, the way he looked at her when they were looking for that apple for her to eat in Morocco was adorable. ALSO SARAH BEING BABY ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO MARRY HIM WHEN SHE WANTED WAS SO CUTE, I LOVED IT. I also wanna thank Cline and Chase, because they do care about this characters and their relationship. Jarah would have sufferd so much if they had not remain professionals.

Pogues and Rafe: The way he safe them???? I get it he wanted his 400k back but also so out of character for him? I loved it but also i know they dont trust him and thats completely fair, but also, after that scene, you guys know which one, thats not the way to make him part of the core.

Sarah and Rafe: my babies, the whole season both of them have been wanting to talk about everything or at least they wanted each other back. I do think both of them would work together to get back Wheezie cause wtf is that that she´s with Rose??? I never actually thought she adopted them. Rafe just wants his family back, or whatever he´s got left from it. I think that after finding out what a backstabbing bitch Sofia is, (Fiona yo te amo hermana, pero Sofia si está bien wey) he was terrified of also trusting the Pogues and thats why he acted the way he did after Sarah saved him, but also finally listening to Sarah and what actually happened in El Dorado and what she told him about being the only family they have left? I do think he is gonna be better and he is gonna be protective of Sarah now, because he knows its only the three of them and he does not wanna lose any more people. Drew and Cline carrying the show yet again.

JJ and Kie: what a fucking mess this two are, the body dobles while being just sitting down near each other in Morocco? The handshake when he was leaving with Groff? They had a great chemistry during season one, the slow burn they were building and how he was pinning after her and he had to watch her be with John B and Pope? He slowly opening up to her? He going crazy when she was kidnapped in Barbados? The reunion after she escaped with Rafe? Saving her from Kitty Oaks? I don´t know what went wrong, but the fact that in most of their scenes they looked fucking uncomfortable makes me sad. She knows she loved him, she was trying to distract herself from him because he was so tough at the beginning, it just makes me fucking sad the way it all ended. Also, no shame to Bailey but I cried more during that scene than she did.

JJ and his parents: where do I begin? He deserves so much better, he deserved a happy ending. I think they also ran with the theory of JJ not being a pogue, but just because they took Rafe´s fanfic they thought that it would be too obvious if they made him a Cameron. He had such a rough life, if this had not happened he would still be JJ, he was so out of character the second part, and I get it. They tried to make us hate him for the way he was acting, but just as he and Kie knew they would not do what Groff was telling them, we know JJ. But also, he was a loved baby, Larissa loved him so much and he had a family. I know everything would be so different if she wasn´t murdered, but if she was able to leave fucking Groff and being with Luke, I do think JJ would´ve found his way to John B and Pope eventually. He would also probably already been friends with Kie and Sarah, and maybe the just maybe he would not have been an ass to the pogues. I do think Luke cared about him, but the resentment toward Groff and taking care of a child who was not even his made Luke that way; but also he probably only cared about him because he liked Larissa, so he felt that he needed to care about JJ for Larissa to care. Fucking Groff, he made Ward and Big John look like parents of the year. I know he only probably had JJ to keep up with appearances but the fact that he played him like a fucking violin??? I know there are a shit ton of mess up things in this show, but that one takes the cake. HE COULD´VE WALKED AWAY WITH THE DAMN CROWN, JJ GAVE IT TO HIM TO SAFE THE FUCKING LOVE OF HIS LIFE AND HE STABBED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM JUST BECAUSE??? no, that´s fucked up.

Idk, if JJ died because someone did not wanted to be in the show anymore I think that speaks volumes in terms of how the set works. The fact that they had to kill the fucking glue of the group and both of the actors involved on the onscreen couple could not act professional to keep it going is crazy to me. If you were on the whole Nina and Ian debacle back in the day, you know how bad this things can get, but the fact that we have a real ex couple remaining professional after a public break up and having their onscreen couple getting married and having a kid speaks on the level of professionalism those two had. I´m more pissed for how JJ was handle than Rudy leaving the show, we all saw it coming, and I do think we all went into the season with the feeling JJ was gonna die but we also had hope of being wrong. I´m so sorry JJ, you deserved so much better that what was written for you, and how the actor who played you handle things.

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ultra-nooblet · 3 days ago

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All the writing I managed to do for Inotober'24

Alright, here it is! All the prompts that I managed to complete for #inotober'24. Sorry, it took a bit to get out. Normally I rawdog what I write, but I tend to type faster than I think to the point that there are too many typos to ignore.

Main account is @thrallath I figured, I'd use this one for my writing since the name I've used for my main account has always been for my drawings and videos. Anyway, I've almost always kept my drabbles to myself and about my OCs. It's been a hella long time since I've done any fan writing, so Enjoy! :)

NSFW stuff at the end! ;)

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There are two versions of Ino. One is an absolute slut and the other that's the king of the cinnamon rolls. Most of the prompts are about the latter and are surrounded by the idea of Ino having a shy (female-aligned) reader for a partner. It's more of an xReader fic broken up through drabbles.

Unfortunately, I didn't make it far enough for when y/n transforms into badass and I don't know if I'll get around to continuing it (writing isn't my main passion).

Synopsis:

Ino is a sweat pea, but he was definitely that awkward loud kid who scared everyone away. The kind that talked too much and got in people's personal space in the hopes of keeping someone's attention.

In y/n’s case, she was born with a powerful cursed technique, but because she was a girl, and her parents were poor all they cared about was selling her to the highest bidder. So she grew up very sheltered and in probably a lot of uncomfortable situations with suitors most of whom were probably way too old for her (yeah, we're going full edge with this one). That is until Nanami found her and with the help of Gojo was able to t̶h̶r̶e̶a̶t̶e̶n̶ convince her parents to let her try to become a sorcerer instead and if she succeeds she doesn’t have to get married. (Something something suspended disbelief for the plot because Gojo could probs just pay her parents off).

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1. Secret

Ino x Shy Reader

Takuma grew up without friends and tries to make up for it with his over-eagerness. He often hides his insecurities with his enthusiasm.

Imagine lil’Takuma belonging to the Ino clan. A humble newer clan that never picked up on the harsher traditions of jujutsu society.

So lil’Takuma gets written off by clans like the Kamos and Zenins because Ino’s are seen as softies, so he doesn't get to socialize with other sorcerer's kids.

Imagine lil’Takuma finally going to elementary school but is singled out as the weird kid for showing up late since his parents wanted to keep him home until his CT developed and wanted to make sure he used it responsibly.

So lil’Takuma tries really hard to change people's minds about him but just ends up talking too much, getting too close, or getting overly excited and blowing it whenever someone looks his way. He hides his disappointment every time someone tells him to leave.

But then imagine how ecstatic he is to finally get to Jujutsu High, so he can prove himself to the other sorcerers and is absolutely convinced that this time will be different! :D

But then imagine how upset he is when he finds out he’s the only 1st year because class sizes are hella small for sorcerers. :(

But then imagine how excited he gets when he finds out at the last minute that a new student would in fact be joining! :D

Of course, he makes all the same mistakes when he sees her.

Y/n is just so shy and timid because of her history with guys and she’s never really been left on her own before.

But Ino doesn't know that yet (Gojo forgot to give him the memo), so he doesn't realize that he's scaring her when he starts loudly approaching her and talking like they’re already bffs.

Their first encounter is even more terrifying when he notices her while in the middle of his training session, so all y/n sees is a masked man trying to chase her down because he's too excited to take his sheisty off.

And of course, lil’Takuma is a late bloomer because he never really got a chance to play with others so he’s still kinda childish by the time he goes to Jujutsu High. But also because his parents tried their absolute hardest to make sure he stayed a kid for as long as he could (they also probably spoiled the hell out of him due to the lack of friends).

So imagine y/n freaking out when Takuma suddenly grabs her hand and drags her to his dorm to “play” but she’s too afraid to speak up.

Then y/n is just dumbstruck when Takuma wasn't joking. He genuinely wanted her to come to his dorm to show off his Lego collection and he’s excitedly showing her all the cool things he's built.

Imagine Takuma managing to chip away part of the wall y/n had built around herself when she hesitantly chooses to sit on the floor next to him and starts putting something together.

Imagine that big dopy smile Takuma gets when he realizes that he’s making a friend instead of watching her run away from him.

Y/n becomes his little secret, a friend he gets to keep all to himself. He doesn't immediately tell her he's never had a friend before, so she slowly starts to rely on him to show him how friendship works.

Eventually, he tells her, and the two navigate their new lives together at the school. What he doesn't confess is the crush he ends up developing for his tiny friend later on.

2./24. Birthday/bookstore

A continuation of Ino x Shy Reader

Y/n never celebrated her birthday before, unlike Takuma who was always spoiled by his parents and raised to believe that the birthdays of those you care about are a big deal. So of course he’s going to care about the birthday of his first and only friend.

But imagine y/n still being unsure about Takuma because she has so many years of trauma and Takuma lacks any tact around her.

So imagine y/n trying to hide so she can have some peace and quiet, but the boy has her on radar and always manages to find her hiding places because why wouldn’t best friends want to spend every minute together?

But then imagine how much more determined Takuma is to find her under a bunch of pillows in the school’s library after Gojo had told him it was her birthday.

Imagine the pouty face y/n gives Takuma for being caught again but he’s too dense to realize that she wasn’t playing hide and seek.

So Takuma starts dragging her out of her pillow fort because god damn it, they need to celebrate, and he’s had zero time to prepare! So Y/n is internally crying that another day of reading has just been sabotaged.

Then Y/n gets scared when he starts leading her off campus because she’s never been off of campus unsupervised before and with a boy her parents would no doubt be upset to see if they found out.

Only to be surprised yet again when she realizes that Takuma is incredibly perceptive when he wants to be.

Like how he notices how she's always reading these old books so he takes her to an antique bookstore and lets her run loose.

He doesn’t even pester her, he just patiently watches y/n enjoy herself even if she spends half the time doing what she’d normally be doing if he had just left her at the library.

Eventually, he has to quietly interrupt her because it’s getting late, but also because he has to take her to the bakery knowing that she is a lil sweet goblin given that she’s always grabbing extra dessert in the school cafeteria.

Again, the self-proclaimed dummy manages to chip away at Y/n’s wall and keeps warming her up to him.

3. Skateboard

A continuation of Ino x Shy Reader

Takuma is trying to find ways to get y/n to break out of her shell, but also trying to show her more of his outdoor hobbies because she doesn’t get enough sunlight.

Imagine Takuma putting her on his skateboard and then taking her by her hands to pull her along slowly.

The way he finally gets to see her smile even if it was only for a brief moment and he gets all giddy because he’s finally starting to crack her.

How Takuma lets y/n try it on her own, but somehow she accidentally ends up launching his skateboard into the sunset.

How Takuma starts to panic not because he lost his board but because y/n looks like she's about to cry.

Y/n thinks she’s in trouble and that she’s finally gonna see Ino’s mean side and prove that he can be just as mean as the Zenins and other sorcerers.

And when Takuma starts pulling his mask down, y/n starts thinking she's about to get the beating of her life.

But instead, Takuma proves her wrong and he just takes y/n by the hands and skates her around using reiki to show her it’s okay.

(Further down I mention that y/n's CT is negating other 's CTs. It's always on, but in this instance, she can turn it off, because this is too cute of a scene to not imagine.)

Also, it’s just hella cute thinking about y/n standing on top of Takuma’s feet while he’s gliding around like a figure skater. (Plz someone write about this).

4. First

A continuation of Ino x Shy Reader

Remember how I head-cannoned that Takuma was a late bloomer? Yeah, well he just realized that y/n is a girl. Yeah, he's always known but now he's just noticing it! He didn’t just have a best friend, but a best friend that’s also a girl and a pretty one too! He didn’t think it was possible given that all the girls would run away from him screaming in middle school, but y/n never did! Y/n just always stood by him (when she stopped hiding) and listened whenever he would ramble about his current fixation.

Granted he was too dense to realize that y/n was freaked out by him when they were first getting to know each other, but it had less to do with him being weird and more to do with her past.

Though y/n was probably hardcore judging Takuma as a certified freak given that he was an endless ray of sunshine and kindness when just about every other sorcerer she was exposed to were all like the Zenins.

As for listening to him, y/n was just too shy to speak up then, and eventually, she got used to his constant yapping.

It was almost impossible for this boy to not crush on his only friend! But oh my god what is going to do?! He’s never had these feelings before, and what would y/n think?! She’s since become his little shadow, but she still doesn’t talk much so it’s hard for him to get a read on her. But it’s killing him on the inside because he doesn’t want to mess things up!

Insert Takuma trying to do a bunch of lame and cheesy things, trying to look cool in front of her but he just comes off as weirder than usual. (Lil’Takuma has 0 rizz and 0 bitches. Yet. ;) )

But also on top of trying to act cool all the time he has like the world's worst poker face (because duh, he wears a mask half the time so why does he need to work on it?) so he’s inexplicably grinning like a dork whenever he looks at her or caught staring.

But all the extra eye contact makes y/n self-conscious and nervous because she doesn’t know why he’s always looking at him and acting strange.

So y/n finally calls him out. She hasn’t figured out why he’s acting different but, Takuma at least knows now that she likes his usual dorky self.

So Takuma gives up on the cool guy act, but he can’t help but try to impress her every now and again because hey, he wants to make sure her attention stays on him despite y/n already being put off by most guys.

Y/n doesn’t tell him yet, that he's one of the only people who makes her feel safe, or at least the only person where she feels that she can let her guard down. Y/n is starting to get a crush too, she just hasn't fallen as hard as Takuma yet.

5. Flowers

A continuation of Ino x Shy Reader

(This probably happens before the fourth prompt)

Imagine Takuma on yet another attempt to get y/n to break out of her shell by taking her to a public park to look at the flowers because she’s always spending time in the garden at the school, but uh-oh Takuma’s middle school bullies just happen to be there too.

Why does someone as strong as Takuma have bullies? Because damn it, Lil’Takuma was a good bean who doesn’t want to fight people weaker than him because he thinks that’ll make him a bully too.

So imagine when Yyn steps away, Takuma’s bullies notice him and make him feel like the world’s biggest loser and he's silently praying that y/n doesn’t see this out of fear of her looking down on him.

But y/n is seeing it! But she’s also too scared to speak up because guys are scary, so she just waits until the bullies leave.

But then she asks Takuma why he didn’t do anything when he could easily beat all of their asses and he tells her his logic.

Then Y/n kind has this lightbulb moment where she realizes that Takuma is a safe guy to be around and finally decides to fully trust him.

However, as they carry on about their day they run into his bullies again and they start picking on him for hAnGiNg OuT wItH a GiRl.

And while all of the bullies are focused on Takuma, y/n does the unthinkable when the timid girl chucks a rock at the ring leader's head!

Insert scooby-doo chase where the bullies want to beat the hell out of y/n and Takuma is trying to run after her too because he knows what will happen if they catch her.

Thankfully, she’s super quick and tiny so she easily manages to escape.

Eventually, the two end up finding each other again in a random bush.

Insert Takuma asking why she’d put herself in danger like that and y/n explains that because she’s weaker it’s okay for her to fight them as it wouldn’t make her into a bully.

The two have some flawed logic, but they're both so innocent and sweet as they try to figure out what doing the right thing is.

Then Takuma has his own lightbulb moment when he realizes that the y/nn, who’s afraid of even the smallest of curses isn't as helpless as he thought.

It was a big concern that y/n didn't have it in her to be a sorcerer, but now Takuma is convinced that the others were wrong.

Y/n does have what it takes to not just be a sorcerer, but one of the good ones too, because she proved that she can be brave if it means helping others. The two of them just gotta figure out how to get her to act like that on missions.

Even better though, it means that Takuma has higher hopes that she won’t end up dropping out of school so that means he doesn't have to worry about losing her!

8. Childhood

A continuation of Ino x Shy Reader

Sort of an a/u idea in which the Ino clan was one of the first clans y/n’s parents went to to try and sell her off for marriage. I kinda imagine that the reason y/n is so sought after is because her CT makes her a living Inverted Spear of Heaven. Any technique or use of cursed energy within an arm's length around her is just automatically disabled. But to stop her from being OP, the downside is that she also can’t manipulate cursed energy or use RCT. She can’t reinforce her body with CE to be stronger, faster, etc. She’ll only ever be as tough as the average m̶o̶n̶k̶e̶y̶ human. So she’s definitely getting her ass kicked the second someone above her weight class comes rolling into the club.

They were both around the age of six when they first met before y/n became shy after being thrown at so many men. Just she and Ino were left to hang out while the adults talked. Of course, the two automatically clicked they were sheltered kids and never met another person their age with a CT before.

Y/n was new to this because she was born into a family of normal people and Ino had just gotten his CT and was eager to share it.

Cue those two running all over the courtyard as Takuma shows y/n all the cool stuff he can do and y/n is losing her mind as he skates around using Reiki and then summons a goddamn dragon.

But then y/n gets jealous because her technique isn’t flashy at all, she’s just stuck making things “boring” while all the cool stuff happens around her.

But then imagine what happens when Ino face plants as Reiki gets deactivated because he got too close to y/n.

A moment of silence and y/n panics because she thinks she hurt him. But then he lifts his face from the dirt and starts laughing.

Que all the chaos that they try to create when Ino thinks her CT would be the funniest thing ever to prank others with.

So these two goobers start trying to convince other members of Takuma’s family to think they all have broken CTs but everyone already knows who y/n is and the two are just really bad at hiding their laughter.

But then it’s time for y/n to leave and the two are absolutely heartbroken despite only knowing each other for a few hours.

Of course, Takuma’s parents would turn down the idea of buying anyone and an arranged marriage. They love their little boy too much to do that to him and unlike the other clans, they actually have morally good standards.

But on the other hand the two end up separated.

News spreads about y/n's CT and the bidding war begins with the Zenins being the highest and now they're just waiting until she’s old enough to marry.

Y/n ends up being miserable, closes herself off, and hating her technique.

Takuma goes back to being the friendless weird kid and they just slowly forget about each other.

Until they meet again years later and after months of getting to know the other one of them vaguely starts to remember that this isn’t their first time meeting.

Perhaps they're looking through some of Ino's old photos and they just happened to stumble across a picture taken by a relative of the two playing together.

Insert the two losing their minds when they both finally remember.

Random (For all the prompts I didn't have time for/couldn't think of something)

A continuation of Ino x Shy Reader

-Imagine y/n being so sheltered because of her parents that she just gets easily impressed with whatever Ino is trying to show her.

-And of course, it’s a big ego boost to Ino because someone is listening to him and thinks he’s like the smartest and toughest guy out there even though he’s kind of a dummy.

-But y/n is the real smarty pants because she needs to do good in school to avoid getting married so Ino just gets super proud of her when she surpasses him academically (not that it was hard for her to do.)

He definitely uses her to help study and copy notes from

-They just became each other’s biggest cheerleaders. Y/n wants Ino to become a first-grade sorcerer just as badly as he does, and Ino doesn't want to lose his bestist buddy if she were to fail.

-Eventually y/n finds herself thanks to Ino and ends up being as big of a goofball as him.

-Watch them magically share a single brain cell and only ever lock in if they’re on an important mission.

If they’re not laughing together then they're laughing at each other.

That one scene where Ino is trying to show off to Megumi and Nanami lectures him about it? Yeah, y/n is totally snickering in the background because “oooooh he got in trouble~”

-But heaven forbid someone other than them is laughing at the other. Someone is picking on Ino? Y/n is going bulldog mode and vice versa, yet somehow they struggle to stick up for themselves.

-He is the absolute neediest man on the planet, one paper cut and he’s running to y/n acting like he’s been shot and begging for her to take care of him.

-Or if he just wants attention, he’s throwing himself in y/n’s lap and sighing dramatically. He gets more persistent the longer she ignores him.

Yeah, that book y/n was reading? Well, now Ino is using it as a pillow to look straight up at her and pout.

Y/n doing some kind of craft? Well, he’s taking y/n's hand and placing it on his head for scritches.

-Alternatively, he’s gonna act like a big tough guy on missions to impress y/n even though they both know he’s Baby behind closed doors.

----------------------------- NSFW Below! -----------------------------

-Y/n has no idea how many times Takuma has hidden an awkward boner because of her. He was always such a gentleman when they were just friends, and of course, he didn't want to scare her away.

The internal panic he had whenever she got too close to finding out because she accidentally bumped into him.

There's probably been at least one instance where he's pushed y/n away to save her from an embarrassing moment and then had to endure y/n going off on him because he couldn't tell her why he shoved her.

-But now that they’re together he’s absolutely shameless when he gets one and they’re alone.

Will probably text her whenever he gets one (even the random boners) not because he's necessarily horny at the moment, but just because he knows it'll annoy her.

Other times he's so down bad he's begging for any sliver of help she'll give him.

-You can’t tell me that the man with a built-in slip-in-slide power doesn’t use reiki as lube. (Honestly surprised I haven’t seen someone say this yet.)

-Ino looks like the type of dude to just casually keep his hand down the front of his pants all the time when he’s at home. He ain’t even doing anything, he’s just casually holding the goods.

No matter how many times y/n tells Ino that after 21 years his dick still hasn’t gone away, he keeps doing it anyways.

-Ino 100% bought one of those clone-a-willy kits and gifted y/n with it thinking it was the greatest idea he’s ever had.

The idea was for y/n to use it whenever they're separated for long periods because of missions. Either she was still healing from a prior mission, or he had to go on one that was deemed too dangerous for her. Otherwise, they do almost all missions together.

-Ino gets super offended and acts like y/n had just kicked him down the stairs if she doesn’t use it.

He’s definitely asked y/n to send videos of her using it whenever he’s away for long missions.

-However, watch him try to back out of it and take his words back whenever y/n suggests using it on him. She just wiggles it in front of him and he starts running.

But y/n is insistent that if she can handle his cock all the time then why can't he? He finally backs down and agrees to try it (plz I need someone to write this too, it would be so fucking funny).

-Kitchen sex? Hell yes. This man is snick snaking while frick fracking. If y/n is cooking and he’s feeling horny, then Ino is running to hug her from behind and start working her until she’s feeling it too. All the while, this man is reaching over y/n to nibble at whatever she’s making. Hydration breaks are important, but why waste time taking a break when you can hydrate on the clock?

Honestly, Ino probably hovers in the kitchen regardless to be y/n's taste tester.

-Obligatory man has the stamina of a rabbit/thinks pussy counts as a legitimate meal. There isn’t a single surface in their shared apartment where Ino hasn’t taken y/n on.

-This man is always cooking up some new over-the-top scheme to get into y/n’s pants. No, he can’t just simply ask, this goober is strutting into the living room in just his underwear while y/n is trying to watch the news. Without a word, he’s dropping himself on y/n’s lap and dancing his heart out like the slut that he is.

Normally, I'd imagine that Ino likes to stay covered up and prefers his clothes to be baggy and comfortable.

However, he probably walks around the apartment in the nude far more often than he normally would if he were single. If only because he's trying to get a reaction out of y/n.

If she yells at him to put some clothes on, then he's achieved his mission. If she starts trying to jump his bones, even better.

-That being said, he's still the king of consent. Because his mamma didn’t raise no heathen, and because Nanami respects boundaries too.

-Watch how clumsy Takuma suddenly becomes when y/n sends him a single text that reads “I’m wet” and he’s sprinting back home, falling up the stairs, and tripping over every single thing in the apartment to the bedroom.

Again, Ino is either a slut or a goober. At any given time he can act like he's the bedroom expert, but then suddenly turn into a stumbling mess if y/n catches him off guard.

Most often though, I can imagine him and y/n having a lot of very passionate sessions one moment, and then the second someone says or does something slightly off they start laughing like a pair of clowns.

Wouldn't be surprised if theirs been at least a couple of times where they've gotten so derailed with the jokes that they almost forgot to finish what they started.

#inotober'24 #ino takuma #jujutsu kaisen #jjk takuma #takuma ino #takuma ino x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk fluff #jjk drabbles #jjk headcannons

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universeofmuses · 7 minutes ago

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The excitement on his brother’s face reminded him of their younger days when his brother would get excited, he was never able to hide it. This would really be the first time since Viserys started this project of his that his brother would be along to grow it, all this time he thought his brother would find all of this history stuff to be dreadfully boring compared to training for tourneys and executing the justice of the king. Hearing his brother’s words made him chuckled, “Don’t worry brother there will be plenty of wine, and plenty of goodies to eat.” Viserys said looking forward to how the night is shaping up. It would be nice to spend some time with his brother just the two of them without anyone to cause any strife between them. Hearing the idea that Daemon had about Balerion came up with was one that he had considered, “Color coordinating, Balerion and other survivors from Valyria modeled in dragonglass.” He said excitedly, sure the stone was impressive, but imagining dragonglass was a whole new level he hadn’t thought of, “That would be very nice, we would need to provide the stone workers with a detailed description of what we want.” He said with a giddy smile on his face, pouring over the histories was always a fun night.

After a moment it was like his brother came back down to himself and found that the girl was still hanging off of him and her dragon was nuzzling against him, then it was like everyone realized what had happened and they had all assumed a stance that reflected the realization. Viserys tried to not chuckle at the moments of everyone, but he did notice that the girl and her dragon were very closely bonded to each other. “Yes, quite curious indeed.” He said confused and not quite sure what to make of the girl and her ability to tame the dragon despite not having any connection to Old Valyria.

As the other man was introduced Viserys nodded his head in greeting and then stepped forward and held out his hand, “Its nice to meet you, let me shake the hand of this wonderful young woman’s father.” He said gratefully that he and his daughter were here, if it wasnt for her his hand would still be in its sorry state about to be removed by the maester. Still he had to hand it to the man by his conservative greeting that he knew how to handle himself around nobles even if he was unfamiliar with customs. Still as different as the man’s daughter was he was sure as she matured she would rein in her high energy, but he did hope that she didnt change who she was as she grew.

“Please the honor is all mine, Sir.” Viserys said gratefully, he followed the man’s glance over to his daughter and her dragon who started to munch on a nearby fruit bowl, Viserys smiled and was reminded of his daughter when she was younger. He could see the concern on the man’s face for his daughter’s safety with the dragon that was near her, the worry was familiar on his face. “I know you worry about your daughter and her safety around such a dangerous animal. I promise you, the dragon keepers are the greatest in the world, they are well versed in the old ways, and my brother is the best dragon rider the seven kingdoms has ever seen, I promise you she will be like she was my own daughter.” Viserys said trying to reassure the man.

The man’s concern showed that he was clearly a father, it was a concern that made Viserys chuckle to himself because it reminded him so much of himself when Rhaenyra was the girl’s age, “Forgive me, I am reminded of my same concern when my daughter was learning to ride her dragon at your daughter’s age. I was worried my brother wouldnt be up to task of dealing with her, she can be as wild and dangerous as a dragon herself.” He replied to the man, “Its a pity your daughter and mine aren’t the same age, they’d either be fast friends or fast rivals.” Viserys added with another little chuckle in his voice. “I can assure you, if my brother can survive teaching my daughter how to ride her dragon, he will be more than up to the challenge to teaching your daughter.” He said confidently and then turned his attention to the girl feeding her dragon a pomegranate.

Hearing his brother’s words about his daughter made Viserys chuckle again, “Anyone after Rhaenyra is a simple task.” Visarys said jokingly, many things were said about the man over the years, though the one thing that couldnt be said was that he wasnt a devoted and loving father to his daughter. In his mind, Viserys only wanted to be remembered as a father and family, as someone who did whatever he needed for his family for their well being. Not for the sake of a dynasty or as a monarch but just as a man who deeply loved and cared about his family. As his brother came and sat with him and the others did too it seemed that there was still much to talk about Aevon’s training.

Viserys saw the little girl enjoying the sweet treat that his brother gave her, he did have to hand it to the castle cooks, they did know how to make the tastiest treats in all the seven kingdoms. If the number of times that his daughter was in trouble for sneaking treats from the kitchen was any sort of indication of how good they were.

Heaing the father’s worry reminded Visarys of his own when his daughter was going to train in how to ride a dragon, he wanted to reassure her father but he kept his words in, he didnt want the girl to feel like her dragon wasnt of any sort of consequence but in comparison to some of the other dragons that were held in the dragon pit.

The little girl, Aevon shyly entered a large chamber, where an intricately crafted model of Old Valyria stood on a huge table, and elaborate dragon figurines stood next to a carved city. She carefully picked up one of them and looked at it in awe. Whoever crafted such wonders certainly had great talent. Feeling an urge to play growing in her, she began to play with the figurine she was holding, imagining that she and her good dragon were forced to defend the city from evil dragons. She played until King Viserys came along. She wasn't afraid of him, as he looked very friendly, but she watched him with curiosity. Was he the one who was doing all these wonderful things?

"Uhmm…Hello, Your Grace…Did you create this city and these dragons?" She asked quietly, carefully putting the figurines down on the table. She didn't want to do anything wrong, fortunately she hadn't broken anything, but she hoped the man wouldn't throw her out of here in a very unpleasant way.

After all, she hadn't done anything wrong. She just wanted to play.

Viserys pet project had become a full blown hobby, what started as a history project to learn about the greatest city ever built in the world had now become the elaborate stone model on the grand table in his lavish bedchambers, it had grown so that he had enlisted the best stone workers to carve the models, the buildings, the dragons, everything to the specifications he supplied them from his readings of the ancient texts.

To the king it was a historical recreation of a city the world would never see again, though to a small child he supposed it would be an elaborate playhouse for a doll. He was returning to his chambers after a council meeting, he had slated the day to be spent with his hobby after the meeting. Though when he got there he found a child in his quarters playing with the model, he stopped for a moment and just watched the little girl play. He knew that eventually he would be a grandsire and knew that eventually his own grandchildren would be here doing the same thing, however he didnt know this child.

The king smiled at the child when she asked her question, he could tell that there was some worry about her, "No I did not, but I commissioned them to be made." he answered her truthfully, he wasnt shy to admit that the detail of the stone in the model was beyond his skill. "Tell me child, who are you?" he asked her curiously wondering who this child was and who was she a child of.

#caelmewedd #muse: viserys targaryen #model city of dragons #verse: hotd main au #the faceless queue

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utterdrip · 11 months ago

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meet myra! she is my durge for my honour campaign and one im experimenting with gradually changing her appearance as time goes on

some little facts abt her:

shes actually not a redhead LOL. her hair is meant to be shown as a matted and disheveled mess from the torture orin and kressa inflicted upon her

^ in addition to the above point, she is dressed haphazardly in worn rags, just enough to staunch the bleeding but not enough to actually help

both of her eyes are Currently ruined

i dont think the dark urge wouldve ever cried during their torture, but i think it wouldve been impossible like biologically speaking to not have depending on the method. durge also cried blood.

the collar says to return to kressa bonedaughter if found

now big “spoilers” for her character/character arc and some pictures of her head scars under the cut

so the dark urge is dead. like its soul has been cleaved from this body and myra has been placed into it

so this dead body is going to slowly become more “alive” as time goes on

myra, as her own person, was someone who has already lived through the absolute’s domination. she doesnt know how it happened, but one moment she was at the mercy of a mindflayer, and the next she is on the nautiloid with a severe case of memory loss

she will eventually get snippets of her previous life back to her, as well as some of the dark urges’ more primal desires

if you know what isekai is, sorta that or transmigration :)

anyways here are some more plainly visible pictures of her scars. so like the dark urge was killed by decapitation and so the body carries that scar

#frankie posts #bg3: myra #bg3 spoilers #sorry for the info dump but. i like her a lot #i talked about this idea with blue before but never really flushed it out #and i really want to be able to try and see how she changes #over campnights and acts #first item on the docket is a fucking hair cut and wash

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cream-and-tea · 1 month ago

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oh pallas and agnes power dynamic you really are SO unbelievably fucked,,,,,

#haven’t been able to write in days so i am posting instead. forgive me.#it’s just so. like. okay pallas has all of the material power here that’s not a question they’ve got much stronger magic they #know how the library works they’re directly placed in a mentorship role at the beginning re agnes she depends on them #for everything.#but also #pallas is very much Not Doing Well mentally (<- understatement of the century) and is pathologically incapable of processing their own #emotions related to this AT ALL. and in the process of trying very very hard to get to Know pallas (so pallas will Like her so pallas will #want to keep her alive) agnes kind of comes to understand a lot of pallas’s issues even better than pallas does and pallas starts to depend #on her for emotional support in a way they NEVER have with anyone else.#and pallas’s ability to show vulnerability has been soooo wrecked beyond belief that to them doing things like sharing part #of their backstory and being visibily hurt around someone is tantamount to placing a knife in someone’s hand and #then circling all of their weak points with a giant red marker while going ‘HEY STAB HERE’#so in their mind by doing this they’re giving agnes an IMMENSE amount of power over them like enough to kill them dead even though very #little else has changed about their dynamic. so pallas believes that they’re standing on much more equal ground then they really are #and agnes partly believes it too she thinks that by seeing this much of how broken down pallas is she’s finally found the balance in their #relationship she’s finally found a way to make it stable. and yeah. to some extent this is true!#pallas DOES listen to agnes more than any other person agnes IS the first person in years to understand them this much pallas’s dependence #on her for their mental wellbeing DOES give her some measure of power over them. but that power is given out on pallas’s terms is the thing #whether they’re aware of that or not. agnes wouldn’t have anything if pallas didn’t actively choose to be vulnerable with her there’d be #no way she’d learn about anything no way she’d get to play this role in their life #they believe that this thing is much more equal much more sustainable than it really is (pallas especially) and they’re #literally all each other have #grabs your face are you listening THEYRE ALL EACH OTHER HAVE IN THIS PLACE THEYRE BOTH IN SUCH HORRIFIC SITUATIONS AND THEY R EATING #EACHOTGER TO SURVIVE!!!!#head in fucking hands #wip: ghost story #pallas and agnes

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p1x1x · 6 months ago

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me pushing myself further with my art drawing really cool perspectives and whatever with the Duo and then i turn around and make lame cutesy ship art waaahhah 😭😭😭

dont read the tags on this if you havent watched gbc i just ramble spoilers 😭 just uhh screaming yknow. mostly mmnn but i like the other characters i swear its just these guys are making me insane

#UGGGGGGGHhhH the duo ever rn…#theyre jsut. so important to each other #supporting each other in their honest expression #FLIP OFF THE WORLD #and i mentioned once on twitter about how real mmk’s fear was #music is everything to her… so for those songs she wrote of her own expression to not be accepted or seen as successful..#yeah that Hurts #i totally get the feeling of wanting to quit… bc why would you want to be hurt that way…#OUUGGGH music (art in general) being able to leave a mark on people…! it can change people…! dont stop making art…!!!!!#but then there’s the side of me that sees all those moments and be like Hell yeah thats some romantic shit… wooo codependency yuri…#going into romantic ship mode #ouggggh but theres also the slightly messed up fact that mmk saw nn less as nn and more as her own past self #and how mmk was not really guiding nn the person so much as she was trying to fulfill her dream through nn #(ok my wording might get confusing but im RAMBLING OKAY)#GOD NN’S VA AND LINES WERE SOOOOO GOOD #mmk stuck in trying to amend her past…! but nn pulls her back to the present #back to reality and shows her that she can still fulfill that dream that desire…!#you saved me with that song its that important and i love it so i love you who laid bare your feelings #UGH THE TRUCK SCENE THAT THAT THAT UUUUGGGGHHFHH #she loves the real mmk…!#god what was i saying with codependency yuri earlier…?#oh right nn only being able to keep going now bc of mmk #hhhhhhhhh #and well. mmk having her happiness depend on keeping nn going (bc of yeah. seeing her past self in her…)#but the confession makes mmk realize what she was doing #(yet still good stuff for codependency yuri)#ok im shutting the fuck up now 😭

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bulldagger-bait · 2 months ago

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When it comes to hygiene tasks and self care with disability and chronic illness, its pretty much a constant case of: don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.

Basically: it's better to do something, than to do nothing at all.

TLDR: Just because you can't do something "properly" doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at all. Do it half-way. Do it shitty. Do it barely. Do it on a technicality. But do what you can. Just try, because doing something will help you.

If you don't have the energy to scrub your body with a sponge, just rub soap over your skin with your hands.

If you don't have the energy to wash your whole body with soap, just hit the places where sweat accumulates, or where you're smelliest.

If you don't have the energy to wash with soap AT ALL, just sitting in water is better than nothing. It will wash away dirt and oils.

If you can't bathe or shower at all, a warm wash cloth is your new best friend. If that's too much, then try bath wipes. They're a bit bigger than regular wet wipes, and a bit more heavy duty. They're designed to help keep bed ridden patients clean in hospitals.

If you don't have the energy to dry yourself after a bath or a shower, just put on a bathrobe and get into bed. If you don't have the energy to get dressed afterwards, just don't. It can wait until you can.

If you don't have energy to brush your teeth for two minutes, honestly, just a cursory scrub is better than not doing anything.

If you can't brush your teeth twice a day, brush in the evenings. It will help take away the build up of food from the day.

If you don't have the energy to brush AT ALL, honestly, just take a cloth and wipe the plaque off your teeth. Rinse with mouth wash after if you'd like. Something is always better than nothing.

If you can't floss twice a day. Try once. If that's too much, try a few times a week. If that's too much, try setting aside a day once a week as a goal. If you can't keep a schedule, do it when you're able to. Hell, I keep some floss next to my bed so that if I forget and don't have the energy to go get it, I can just reach over.

If you can't iron your clothes, don't bother. Wrinkles are fine. Wear jumpers over wrinkly t-shirts. No one will know, and honestly, most people won't even care. If it's really wrinkly and it's A Big Deal And It Needs To Be Ironed, here's my life hack. Step 1: take a spray bottle, and spritz the item of clothing (while you're wearing it is easiest) until it's lightly damp. Step 2: use a hair-dryer on the clothes until they're dry. It gets rid of creases like nobody's business, it's easier than lugging out the iron and ironing board, and you get to have nice toasty warm clothes afterwards.

If you can't fold your clothes, try just hanging them up. It's less commitment. It's quicker to do. Granted, you need to have the space in order to do this, but it is also good at helping you downsize, and lets you visualise exactly what you have.

If you can't put your clothes away, invest in a couple of laundry baskets, and then just keep your clean clothes in the baskets. You can then separate washed clothes into underwear, pants, and shirts baskets. You can just leave them like that. I'm giving you permission to never fold your laundry again if you can't. Just leave it unfolded. Who's going to care? Something is better than nothing. If you can, try to put those baskets into your closet so that you can keep the clutter out of sight, and give yourself a more restful environment.

If you can't separate your clothing out into different categories and wash them "properly" (whites, warm tones, cool tones, darks, delicates / switching between hot & cold washes / paying attention to laundry instructions on the label) then just don't worry about it. If you cold wash your clothes, colours won't bleed. Maybe gradually over the course of dozens of washes there'll be some changes in hue, but it's really not as high stakes as the One Red Sock In The Whites Turns Them Pink trope makes it out to be.

I've pretty much come to the point in my life where if a piece of clothing can't survive the washer and dryer, then it's just not meant to be. I colour separate my clothes, and if I have the energy/remember I'll take my bras and jumpers out of the washing machine to drip dry. But otherwise, I leave it to the universe.

If you can't separate out your recycling, then don't. If you have a large amount of rubbish you need to get rid of but the idea of separating it out properly is stopping you from doing so, then just don't worry about it. I know it's not ideal, but if you have garbage in your room/house and you need to get rid of it, please just get rid of it. Don't let the problem get bigger and harder to deal with. Don't let "doing something properly" get in the way of keeping your living spaces clean. Please. Give yourself understanding.

If you can't wash your dishes, get paper plates. Obviously, it's not ideal, but it is better that you eat food than skipping meals. It is better that you have a clean kitchen, rather than having dishes piling up and making it harder to look after yourself.

If you can't prepare meals for yourself keep making the tasks easier and easier. If you can't do recipes, then simplify. Use pasta sauce from the jar instead of making it. Eat canned soup. Buy food you can just stick in the oven. If you eat fish fingers and microwave veggies every night, it's better than not eating anything at all. It's better than having to fork out money on take-out. If you need ready-made meals, then get them. If you're literally just eating a raw cauliflower for dinner; 1) I see you, 2) me too, sis, 3) something is better than nothing.

These are the basic things you need to do every day to function as a person. They are your activities of daily living. Brushing your teeth. Bathing or showering. Using the bathroom. Getting dressed. Eating. Drinking. Sleeping. Keeping your environment clean. You don't need to do these things perfectly, but they need to happen in order for you to have a decent quality of life.

And it breaks my heart, because I know that so many disabled people can't do these things every day. I'm not saying this to guilt or judge, I'm saying that these are basic needs; you deserve these things. These things bring dignity. If a disabled person is unable to do these things, it diminishes their quality of life. It robs them of dignity.

If you need help to do these things, Its okay to ask for help. It's okay to need help. But if you can't get that help and you have to do these things by yourself -- or you just plain want to be independent and do it without help-- then don't hold yourself to standards you can't meet.

Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Even if it's not perfect. Even if it's not done well. Do what you can.

#lord knows that im still trying to pull myself out of the muck and into independence and dignity #i had to set a rule for myself that i need to wear clean clothes every day. and that i need to wear pyjamas to bed #that one's been hard. sometimes I dont have the energy to do it and i just stay in the same clothes for two days at a time #or i go to sleep in what i was wearing. but when i do follow that rule my quality of life is drastically better #not feeling dirty or gross goes a long way to making you feel more like a person #i also made a rule that im not allowing myself to look frumpy outside anymore. that means clothes that look nice #no more trackies and pj pants and all that stuff. i basically lived in perpetual pyjamas for four years and im over it #i still dress comfortably but the important thing is that i dress. i look put together. i wear things that make me happy #(and i didnt need to buy anything to do so. i just needed to start taking better care of myself)#and i stopped letting perfect be the enemy of the good. i started doing things shitty rather than not doing it at all #and the more i keep pushing with my ADLs the better i feel #what helps is now i dont have to contend with stairs and that has made a dramatic change to what im able to accomplish #ive also finally built up enough strength in my body that im able to go to the shops by myself. so i can buy things to make easy meals #and mum doesnt mind if i just put some things in the oven or air fryer for us for dinner.#i still cant really cook. i felt bad about that for the longest time. i didnt even try bc i knew what id make would be disappointing #or it wouldnt be up to the standards of what everyone else was making. i was so sick of feeling like a let down all the time.#now i just make what i can and my mum doesnt complain bc shes in the same boat.#and yeah. having help would be nice. it would mean id be able to do more than what i can do by myself.#and its great to see how far ive come. but im not a burden. and when i have the accommodations i need i can do a lot more #i do something rather than nothing and my life has dramatically changed since then. ive just gotten better and better.#chronic illness #disability #chronic pain #spoonie #one things for certain and thats that im never going to let myself rely on anyone else ever again.#i never want to be on the other side of that ever again. I don't want to be anyone's burden. i dont want that hanging over me #i do things by myself or i dont do them at all. and god fucking willing i'll never go back to needing as much help as i used to #i really didnt realise just how much of an obstacle living with stairs was in my life. it was the biggest barrier against everything #stairs stopped me from being independent. if i couldnt traverse them i just didnt go anywhere. my world shrank so much #and not having the proper wheelchair shrinks my world even more. im stronger than i used to be but im still severely limited in where i go

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