#and i never figure out the number people intended me to know
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why for the love of god are people allowed to say "twenty three hundred", that is NOT where the comma is you can't just throw a tens into the wrong place what are you, drunk? stop it. that's two thousand. stop. it.
#i can and will think you're saying 230#and then say wait no it's twenty three#so that makes it 232 right wait no#and it's just a mad spiral from there#and i never figure out the number people intended me to know#i have a hard enough time parsing verbal numbers as it is why would the english language do me this violence#yes ive had 2h of sleep why do you ask#man i forgot what i was using for a nonsense rant tag#so ig#rant
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PICK-A-CARD: How do strangers really see you ✮⋆˙
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I. II. III.
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How to Pick Your Pile: Take a deep breath, clear your mind, and look at the images below. Which one pulls you in the most? Trust your gut! Once you choose the image, The number below your chosen image is your pile. If more than one catches your eye, that just means there’s extra tea for you—go ahead and read both!
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My KO-FI link: HERE 🫶🏻
MY MASTERLIST🫶🏻
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ִ ࣪𖤐⭑Pile I
This pile is drama. This is walking into a room and immediately giving off main character energy, but not the soft, romantic lead kind—nah, this is the tortured, brooding protagonist who looks like they have a backstory. The type of energy that makes strangers take one glance and go, "Damn, what have they been through?" if I really had go give an example to an Immediate Thought a Stranger Has Upon Seeing You: "Are they okay?" (Which—valid.) There’s something about your aura that feels heavy, like you’ve lived a hundred lives before this one, and each one had some level of heartbreak, sacrifice, and major character growth. you’re giving poetic melancholy But in the most captivating way possible. it's like "sad but make it aesthetic"💅 At first glance, people don’t see you as someone easy to approach. Not because you’re outright intimidating, but because there’s an untouchable quality to you. You exude a quiet, mysterious presence, like someone deep in thought, caught between realities. People assume there’s something weighing on your mind, even if you’re just thinking about what to eat for dinner. Your vibe makes people curious, but also a little cautious. You give off the impression that you’ve seen things—felt things—that most people could never even begin to comprehend. You might notice that when strangers interact with you, they either: Treat you gently, like they don’t want to disturb whatever deep thoughts you’re lost in. Secondly, Lowkey test your patience, because they assume you’re detached or unbothered, and they want to see if you’ll react. Either way, people don’t take you lightly. You see things from a different perspective, possibly because life forced you to??? I can see a majority of this pile is a huge fan of art, poetry or sad music or they may even do these things. You’ve been through situations where you felt like an outsider like you were left in the cold—physically, emotionally, or even financially. The full picture? You carry the past with you, but you don’t let it define you. However, people can see the weight of your experiences, whether you intend to show it or not. You might be the kind of person who has learned to walk away from things before they destroy you completely. It’s not that you want to leave, but when you sense that something (or someone) is bringing you down, you don’t wait for the final blow—you detach, emotionally or physically. And that? That makes people fear losing you, even if they don’t know you well. Like, I want to grab you by the shoulders and be like, “Tell me everything. Who hurt you? Who made you strong?” You’re the kind of person who doesn’t seek attention, but you get it anyway. You don’t have to be loud—people just know there’s something about you that’s different. And they want to figure you out, even though you probably make that damn near impossible. There’s also an artistic, philosophical quality to you. Even if you don’t see yourself as an artist, you feel things in a way that most people don’t. i see that some of you may be even an INFJ???
You, my dear, are the walking embodiment of a Lana Del Rey song—tragic, beautiful, a little detached, but also dangerously alluring. Strangers don’t just notice you—they remember you. Even if they never talk to you, they’ll go home and be like, “That one person… I wonder what their story is.” So my advice? If you ever feel like people misunderstand you, don’t stress about convincing them otherwise. The right ones will see you without you having to explain a damn thing. And the ones who don’t? Well, they were never meant to get past the first page of your story anyway.
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ִ ࣪𖤐⭑Pile II
Alright, bestie, let’s talk. If I saw this pile laid out in front of me, the immediate thought running through my head would be: "Damn. This person has seen some things, done some things, and is probably carrying a whole season’s worth of plot twists in their aura." You, my dear, give off an energy that is intense, hardworking, and slightly intimidating, but in a way that makes people lowkey obsessed with you. Like, imagine someone walking into a room with the aura of a self-made boss—someone who’s been through the trenches, built themselves up from scratch, and now operates with that sexy, quiet resilience that makes people both admire you and fear you just a little. That’s you. That’s this pile. People take one look at you and immediately clock you as someone who does not play around. You exude discipline, endurance, and a "grind never stops" energy that can make people feel like they need to fix their whole life just by standing next to you. You know those people who just look like they have a five-year plan? That’s the vibe you radiate. you’re that person—always working on something, always strategizing, always looking ahead. You don’t give off ‘casual small talk’ energy—you give off ‘I have a deadline and no time for nonsense’ energy. You might have an ‘old soul’ aura—like someone who’s been knocked down a million times but got back up every single time. That kind of energy makes people admire you, but it also means they might hesitate to approach you because damn, what have you seen??? Ohhh, bestie. Here’s the tea. This card in the mix tells me that, despite your workaholic, ‘I have goals’ energy, you have this magnetic, lowkey addictive presence. People may see you as someone who tempts them—not in an overt, flirty way (unless you choose to be), but in a "I don’t know why I’m so drawn to them" kind of way. You carry an air of mystery, danger, or intensity that makes people want to know more, but also feel slightly afraid of what they’ll uncover.
The way you move through the world is purposeful. You’re not just existing; you’re building something, always working toward something bigger. You’re the kind of person who might be polite and civil, but have true access to your inner world? That’s earned, not given. And honestly? Good for you.( I am In LOVEEE with this pile lol 😂) Maybe people don’t expect it at first, but once they get to know you, they realize you are not as predictable as you seem. Oh, I love this pile. Y’all are the type of people who command respect just by existing. You don’t even have to say much—your energy does the talking for you.
You’re the people who bosses and authority figures actually fear a little( I always wanted that for myself😭), because you give off the vibe that you could overthrow the entire system if you really wanted to. You’re also the type of person that people regret underestimating, because when you prove them wrong, you do it flawlessly.That being said, I also feel like you don’t let yourself relax enough. Like, the Eight of Pentacles, Seven of Pentacles, and Nine of Wands together? Damn, bestie, do you ever take a break? Or are you constantly grinding, constantly proving yourself, constantly thinking, "What’s next?" (Go touch some grass. Drink some water. Take a nap, I beg.)
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ִ ࣪𖤐⭑Pile III
Alright, babes, buckle up because this pile? This pile is a walking contradiction, an experience. Pile 3 is the most intuitive & unreadable of all the three. You ever meet someone who’s all bright smiles and warm energy, but there’s this undeniable weight behind their eyes? You give off an aura that’s both guarded and inviting. You've faced betrayals, heartbreaks, disappointments—but you didn’t let it break you. Nah, you built walls, but not to keep people out completely… just to make sure they don’t get in too fast. There’s a hesitancy in your energy, a subtle checking-the-room moment before you fully let yourself relax. But then—BAM—the Sun bursts through. Ohhh, this is what makes you so intriguing. The Sun is the only major arcana card of this pile so your dominant energy is really bright and welcoming, it is pure, unfiltered light. When you smile? It’s infectious. When you laugh? It makes people feel like they just witnessed something rare, something precious. You radiate warmth, but there’s depth behind it. You’re not the type to sit down and trauma-dump to strangers, but your energy? It speaks. It whispers. There’s something about the way you carry yourself—the slight distance in your eyes when you zone out, the way your smile sometimes doesn’t reach all the way, the way you watch people instead of immediately throwing yourself into the chaos. You know things without needing to be told. You read energy like it’s your first language. Strangers can feel that you see through the surface-level bullsh*t. You don’t just listen—you absorb. You analyze. You clock people’s tells before they even realize they have them. And honestly? That can be intimidating as hell. But here’s the thing—you don’t use this power to manipulate or expose. Nah, you protect with it. That’s the Sun and the Nine of Wands working together. You radiate warmth and kindness, but if someone tries to cross you? They’ll quickly learn there’s a fortified wall behind that glow. A wall built from experience, from lessons learned the hard way. If you picked this pile, you’re the kind of person that leaves an impact. People don’t just forget you. Even if they only interact with you briefly, there’s this lingering thought—like, “What’s their story?” You make people curious, but you’re not out here spilling your soul to just anyone. And honestly? I respect that. But here’s the real kicker—you’re not just your past. You’re not just the heartbreaks, the lessons, the wounds. You are the Sun, too. And the Sun in this spread tells me that despite everything, you still believe in joy. You still find ways to laugh, to love, to spread warmth. That’s what makes you magnetic. That’s why strangers are drawn to you—they can feel that you’re not just surviving. you’re the mystery wrapped in light. You’re the soft warrior. You’re the one who sees but does not always speak. You are guarded but generous, intense yet kind, and above all, you are unforgettable. And honestly? That’s one of the most powerful energies a person can have.
I’d bet money that a lot of you, Have resting deep-in-thought face, Have had people randomly trauma-dump on you because they feel like you’d get it, Feel misunderstood in social situations, Have struggled with isolation (self-imposed or otherwise). Pile 3 is a perfect balance of both the above piles. No matter which pile, these are the kinds of people that others don’t forget.
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Thank you so much for reading all the way through! I hope my reading resonated with you and that you had a lovely time going through it. If you enjoyed it, please like and reblog—it really means a lot! Let me know which pile you chose; I absolutely love hearing your thoughts and feedback on my readings! ♡
Note: tarot cards provide guidance and possible insights into what could happen based on current energies, thoughts, and actions. the cards can highlight potential paths or outcomes, but they do not predict the future in a fixed way. this is a general reading so take what resonates!
#tarotblr#tarot pick a card#tarot reading#tarot reader#tarotcommunity#pick a pile#spirituality#astrology#pac#tarot cards#tarot deck#pick a card#tarot#shufflemancy#loa tumblr#loablr#loa blog#free tarot#tarotoftheday#witchblr#spiritual guidance
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Yandere! Yakuza x Reader (II)
Reader is cozying up to her unusual home, and her new friend decides to surprise her with a romantic gift. Or at least what he considers to be romantic: a small reminder that no one else can mess with her. Continuation to the yakuza landlord idea!
Content: female reader, obsessive behavior, mentions of stalking, violence, death, mild gore
[Part 1] | [Part 3] | [Yakuza Masterlist]
You search for your keys and open the postal box, retrieving a thick envelope. You've been living at the new apartment for several weeks now and truth be told, you could get used to this lifestyle. Your commute to work is much shorter, the path is never devoid of people, and there are multiple bakeries on the way back with some of the best pastries you've tasted in your life.
You turn around and look for Daitou, somewhat distracted and dreamy. It really feels like a Hallmark movie. A peaceful, idyllic life. Ah, there he is! The scarred man is standing guard before one of the stores. The curtains have been pulled, blocking any glimpse of the inside. You walk towards him with a certain joyful bounce in your step. As you approach him, you can hear muffled screams coming from the building. He notices you and flashes you a smile.
"Don't come too close, I hear the owner's been avoiding his loan payment and getting all friendly with the neighboring Family. We're questioning him in the back."
"Don't you usually do the interrogations?"
"Only if we don't need them afterwards. I'm not too good at keeping them alive, ya know?" He scratches the back of his head and laughs awkwardly. "Do you need anything?"
You open your mouth to speak, but it's a little difficult to formulate a full sentence with the interrupted moans and cries occasionally making their way out. The door is ajar and you avoid glancing in its direction, fixating on the man before you.
"I...uh... just wanted to know if this letter is intended for me or the landlord. It looks like an official document."
You show Daitou the envelope and just as he is about to grab it, he notices the blood stains seeped into his glove. He quickly removes it, wipes his hand on his shirt, and nonchalantly plucks the paper from your fingers.
"That's for Boss. I'll pass it on, so don't worry."
You nod and bow slightly before hurrying back home. Well, doesn't make it less of a movie, you suppose. Just more of a thriller. Or something like that. You drop your bag, slip off your shoes and throw yourself onto the futon with a loud thud. The warmth of the sheets envelops you and the wails of the shop owner become but a distant dream.
Without the worry of stalkers, or finding a roof above your head, you can finally rest.
Tonight is rather dark, with the moon shrouded in heavy clouds. Daitou yawns silently as he observes the masked man testing out passcodes for the entrance. Every now and then he lets out a whispered curse, crossing out another number combination on his little crumpled note. It doesn't take a genius to figure out this is the famed stalker you'd complained about earlier. No one else currently lives in the building.
Eventually, the keypad lights up and the door unlocks. The mysterious man lifts a fist victoriously and reaches for the handle.
"Oop! Not so fast!" Daitou drops his heavy, sinewy arm over the man's shoulders, pulling him in a friendly embrace. Like two old pals meeting at an intersection. "Let's take a walk together, what do you say? (Y/N) sleeps until noon on weekends, no need to hurry."
With a grunt, the stalker tries to shove himself out of the tightening hold, but the yakuza doesn't budge. He towers over his new friend with an unfaltering, unbothered grin.
"Now listen, I don't blame you one bit, ya know? I ain't blind, at least not in this eye", he continues as he points to the real counterpart of his glass prosthetic, "so I'm damn well aware of a pretty girl when I see one. And (Y/N)? That's some good taste alright."
He gives the man an affectionate pat over the chest, pulling him away from the building into one of the side streets.
"If you want, we can have a drink before the deed, I know a good place five minutes from here. We can share some stories of our favorite girl, eh?" Daitou looks at his watch, feigning mild concern. "But I'm afraid you're not leaving this neighborhood either way. In one piece, that is."
His arm goes limp and the masked man is released from the iron hold, tripping over from the sudden lack of support. He crawls against a wall and fumbles for something, swiftly pulling out what seems to be a pocket knife. His breathing is erratic and he points the tip of the blade towards the yakuza, now with his features darkened by a frown. He sounds like an entirely different person and the instant switch to a ragged voice startles the stranger.
"See, the trouble is, I promised miss (Y/N) I wouldn't allow a fucking dog like you to be in her presence ever again. Sadly for you, I'm a man of my word." Despite the threatening tone, his posture is relaxed and he stands before the stalker with his hands bare.
"If I were you, I'd use that little butter knife on my own throat. I don't go easy on horny cockroaches. Especially the ones that mess with my woman." His final words spill out in a bitter growl.
A small animal in the trashing jaws of a predator. Blood splatters and pools in the asphalt cracks and drained hands claw at the walls, hoping for an escape. As despair sinks in, the alleyway becomes quiet again, save for the merry whistle of the remaining party. Daitou carefully ties the trash bags with the focus of a child wanting to impress the parents with a chore well done. Halfway through he stops and gasps, surprised.
"Oh man, did I really just say 'my woman'? How embarrassing." He blushes and shyly pushes the wrapped slabs away. "I haven't even asked her out yet, ya know? Better not rat me out, Mr. Stalker." He snickers at his monologue and continues the cleanup.
"Can you really not refrain yourself from smoking in here?" You try to fan away the puff of smoke, scowling at the young blonde man sitting across the table.
"Why do you even care so much?" Kazuya groans and stuffs the remains of the cigarette in the ashtray.
"I don't want my carrot cake tasting like tobacco. You're lucky the old man is afraid of you, otherwise you would've gotten your ass banned a long time ago."
"You know, I've been thinking about it lately - haven't you gotten quite the attitude? You have a big mouth for someone surrounded by dangerous gangsters. I could blow your brains out right now."
He lowers himself in his seat and briefly lifts his shirt, flashing a carelessly tucked in gun. He stares at you for a few seconds, as if expecting a reaction, then lets out a chuckle upon seeing your indifferent expression.
"Shameless. You could at least try to pretend you don't know I have a soft spot for you."
"Just a wild guess, but your Boss probably wouldn't appreciate you shooting civilians in the middle of a café. That's all." You respond with a shrug.
Your banter is interrupted by Daitou's heavy footsteps nearing in your direction. Kazuya waves, signaling your location, and kicks a chair out, inviting his friend to join.
"Where the hell were you last night? I thought you'd come with us for drinks after that long ass questioning."
"Sorry, I had to take care of something." Daitou returns an apologetic smile and tilts his head to gaze at you. "Which reminds me, I brought you this."
Your eyes widen in surprise and a faint red tints your cheeks. Was there some special occasion you didn't know about? He places a small box in your hands and leans back in his chair with a cheerful smirk on his face. Kazuya watches the interaction, equally curious as you.
You open the mysterious gift, giddy with anticipation. The nauseating smell abruptly invades your nostrils and you can feel the contents of your stomach bubble up and pile at the back of your throat. You gag involuntarily and slap your hands over your mouth, as the box tumbles down. A single severed human finger and some teeth glistening with moisture roll out.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!"
Kazuya jumps from his seat, toppling over the table in the process, and lunges at Daitou's throat. The latter can only stare in shock, baffled at a reaction he didn't foresee. There's genuine confusion shaping his features.
"But-...I thought..."
"What the hell did you think, that you'd show up with fucking human remains over some tea and cake?! Jesus, Daitou, she ain't our Lieutenant!"
"But I did- I did tell (Y/N) I'd..." he tries to find you with a pleading, worried look.
Once the risk of vomiting on the floor has diminished, you shove yourself between the men and gently try to remove Kazuya's arm, still clawed around the other man's throat.
"Let him go, Kazuya. He didn't mean to scare me." You glance at Daitou reassuringly. "Does that mean the stalker guy is now a solved matter?"
The yakuza nods energetically, his eyes now sparkling with pride. He knew you'd understand. Once the tension is lifted, you quickly sweep the gory tokens back into their box and explain the situation to Kazuya. He collapses back in his seat with a frustrated sigh, facepalming himself.
"I'm so sorry, (Y/N), I should've told you he's being serious when he says shit like this." He glares at his friend. "She didn't actually expect you to go ahead and do it, dumbass. Couldn't you just mention it or something? 'Hey, I took care of that pervert following you around'! You think she would've demanded proof?"
Daitou is nervously fidgeting with his glass eye, as if searching for the proper words.
"But you always say women will like you more if you surprise them with gifts." He concludes with a pout.
There's a prolonged moment of silence and you burst our laughing, as the blonde simultaneously lets out an exasperated whine. You cannot get over the bizarre sight in front of you: someone as massive and imposing as Daitou, cornered like a punished school boy.
"See, this is what I've been telling Boss. You're a lost cause." Kazuya rests his elbows on his knees, closing the distance between him and Daitou and continuing with a lecturing tone. "If you got a crush on someone, you bring them flowers or something! What are you, a crackhead? Do I have to teach you basic manners?"
"More importantly, uh...what should I do with these? I guess jewelry made of teeth is a thing, but the finger? Won't it go bad?" you cautiously dangle the package next to your ears, listening to the rustle of its contents.
Kazuya rips the box from you.
"I'm starting to suspect you don't have all the tiles on your roof either. I'll get rid of it, so you better pretend nothing ever happened. Are we clear?"
Both you and Daitou nod obediently.
On your way back, the man can't help the excitement building up in his chest. You liked his gift, didn't you? He hasn't done anything wrong. Does that make it official, then? As he ponders the implications, he peeks at your small frame, barely managing to keep up with him. Would it be alright if he reached for your hand? Is he supposed to ask first? All these steps confuse him to no end.
Nonetheless, he couldn't be more thankful for you.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x darling#female reader#yandere yakuza#yakuza x reader#yandere imagine#yandere imagines#yandere oc#yandere original character#yandere mafia#mafia x reader#original work#oc x reader#male yandere x reader#x reader
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no mercy
yandere!cho sang-woo x f!reader
one of the players grows obsessed with you since you were similar to him
warnings: yandere!sangwoo, reader/you have questionable morals since you commit a huge betrayal due to a strong sense of survival. mentions of death. age gap relationship, since reader is intended to be between 20-23 while sang woo is 46. changed plot from season one. the original character who is not reader is player 102.
you never thought you'd end up here.
your eyes tired, wearing a green tracksuit, number 111 stitched onto your chest like a mark of your desperation.
the scent in the room was thick with fear, tension, and unspoken threats.
everyone here had something in common: debt, misery, nothing much left to lose.
you? your debt wasn’t from reckless gambling or bad business deals like most of these other people here.
yours was from surviving.
years of hospital stays, surgeries, medications.
your childhood was spent in the hospitals, making sure that your body could grow healthily.
there were bills that kept stacking up even after you were finally healthy.
they said you were lucky to have made it out alive, but now you owed more money than you could ever pay back.
so when the salesman offered you a chance, you took it.
you didn’t suffer through years of hospitals, pain, and fear just to come here and die in some twisted game.
you were going to survive. no matter what it took.
the first night in the dormitory, you kept to yourself.
somehow, she found you..
player 102.
hot pink hair, too bright for this place, too carefree for someone stuck in a death game.
"hey, you look miserable,"
she plopped down beside you, stretching her legs out.
you didn’t respond.
just kept your arms crossed, watching the others.
"so, we’re both young. everyone else here is nearly middle aged, I think we should stick together,"
she continued, ignoring your silence.
"not a fan of getting stabbed in my sleep."
you eyed her for a moment before shrugging.
"fine."
you didn’t trust her, not yet.
she was right...it was better to have someone.
however, there was another player keeping a lookout on you.
player 218. sang-woo.
the man who kept his expression unreadable but watched everything.
at first, you didn’t notice him.
however, he noticed you. immediately.
you weren’t like the others.
you weren’t crying, begging, or making desperate alliances.
you were calculating. quiet. smart.
and he liked that.
before the second game is when you knew that 218 existed.
you overheard player 067 whispering to 218, the words
"melting sugar" slipping through the cracks.
your brain clicked instantly.
dalgona.
so when the masked men led you into a room filled with symbols
circle, star, umbrella, triangle.
you didn’t hesitate.
you immediately walked toward the triangle line, yanking 102 with you.
"what the hell? why so confident?"
she asked, letting you drag her along.
"just trust me."
sang-woo saw you move first.
his lips twitched.
you knew.
not a second of hesitation.
not a moment of doubt.
you had figured it out just like him.
he almost smirked when he saw you pull your ally along without question.
good girl, he thought.
you know how to survive.
he didn’t take his eyes off you as you worked on your honeycomb.
you handled the needle too well.
precise. careful. controlled.
when your triangle popped out perfectly, you even gave 102 a little smirk.
"told you,"
you murmured to her.
sang-woo clenched his jaw, barely paying attention to his own work.
you were dangerous.
smart.
capable.
and he wanted you.
he watched the way your fingers moved, steady despite the sweat on your skin.
the way your lashes lowered when you focused.
the way your lips parted slightly as you concentrated.
you had no idea he was studying you like prey.
"don’t worry, y/n," he thought.
"i’ll protect you."
"i’ll make sure you survive. you don’t even need to know."
because in sang-woo’s mind, you were already his.
back in the dorms, you and 102, who turns out to be named anya, sat on a shared bed, splitting the bland, dry rice and kimchi they gave you.
it wasn’t much, but it was enough to keep you alive.
"so, what brought you here?"
you asked, poking at your food with the tiny spoon they handed out.
anya stretched her legs out, sighing dramatically.
"oh, you know. influencers, shopping sprees, lavish trips. that kind of stupidity."
you raised an eyebrow.
"influencer?"
she scoffed.
"was. past tense. brand deals, sponsorships, all that shit. i thought i was rich when i really wasn’t. I got "cancelled" for some stupid shit and now I am here!"
she rambled for nearly thirty minutes, talking about her reckless spending, the money she blew through, the fake friends who ditched her when she went broke.
you let her talk, not minding the conversation.
she was easy to listen to, and at least she had a sense of humor about her downfall.
she turned the question on you.
"what about you, y/n?"
you took a small bite of rice, hesitating for a second before answering.
"hospital bills."
anya paused mid-chew, glancing at you. then, she nodded.
"ohhh okay."
something inside you twisted. maybe you should have kept that to yourself.
maybe that was something she didn’t need to know.
did she see it as a weakness?
did she think you were fragile?
you didn’t know her true intentions yet.
from across the room, sang-woo was wondering the same thing.
he leaned against the metal bunk, arms crossed, eyes sharp as he studied you and anya.
he didn’t trust her, not when she was getting that close to you.
she seemed harmless, but so did a lot of people before they revealed their true colors.
the girl had bright pink hair.
she didn’t exactly scream dangerous.
still, he didn’t like how easily you opened up to her.
as gi-hun talked to play 001 beside him, he looked ahead at you.
anya was the first to notice him watching.
she smirked, leaning in slightly.
"don’t freak out, but that player has been staring you down since we got back from dalgona."
you frowned, confused.
"who?"
anya subtly tilted her head toward player 218.
you followed her gaze and met his eyes.
sang-woo was staring right at you.
the first thing that crossed your mind?
he's sexy.
it wasn’t just that.
he wasn’t like other people who got caught staring and looked away quickly.
he held eye contact, unbothered, as if he was waiting to see what you would do.
only when player 456 called his name did he finally turn away.
anya snorted.
"oh no. you’ve got that look in your eye."
you blinked.
"what look?"
"the ‘i think he’s hot’ look."
she grinned, wiggling her eyebrows.
"don’t fall for it, y/n. he might stab you in your sleep."
you giggled, nudging her.
"shut up!"
even as you joked, you could still feel the heat in your face.
from across the room, sang-woo nearly smirked.
he had seen the way you looked at him.
he was going to make sure you kept looking at him.
when it was lights out, you lay there, staring at the dark ceiling, listening to the slow, steady breaths of the other players.
the dorm was eerily quiet, except for the occasional rustle of someone shifting in their sleep.
beside you, anya was curled up, her pink hair spilling over the pillow.
the girl's breathing was soft and even.
peaceful.
untouched by the paranoia that clawed at your mind.
you waited, making sure she was truly asleep before you carefully pushed yourself up from the bed.
this was stupid.
you knew it.
you didn’t care.
moving quickly and quietly, you weaved through the rows of bunk beds, walking across the open floor and walking through bunks until you reached the other side of the dormitory.
you knelt down in front of player 218’s bed.
sang-woo’s eyes were closed, but the moment you got close, you could feel it...he was awake.
sangwoo's breathing was too steady, his posture too tense, as if he had been expecting something.
his eyes flickered open.
and the second he saw you, he sat up.
"sorry if i woke you up,"
you whispered.
he stared at you, his face unreadable.
then, his lips twitched just slightly.
"no, you’re not."
you swallowed, caught off guard by how easily he read you.
"i just… i just wanted to talk to you."
"can’t sleep?"
his voice was low, smooth.
you shook your head.
he studied you for a second, then shifted, making space beside him.
without thinking, you scooted closer, sitting down next to him on the bed.
both of you sat in silence, eyes scanning the dark dormitory, watching the scattered bodies of sleeping players.
"what brings you here?"
he asked, his tone casual, but his eyes sharp.
you hesitated, already regretting your answer before it even left your mouth.
"hospital bills."
as soon as you said it, you cringed.
you had made the same mistake again.
telling people things they didn’t need to know.
you had no idea what sang-woo’s intentions were, no idea what kind of person he really was.
when you glanced at him, there was nothing threatening in his expression.
he nodded, and his voice was calm when he said,
"debt."
you nodded in return. most people were here for that.
suddenly, a wave of exhaustion hit you, making your body feel heavier.
you let out a soft yawn, rubbing your arm.
sang-woo noticed immediately.
"you should get some sleep,"
he said.
you sighed, not wanting to go back just yet.
"i don’t know if i can."
he thought for a moment, then said,
"i’ll walk you back."
you looked at him, surprised.
the idea of him walking with you made you feel… safe.
some kind of invisible shield was around you just by being near him.
you nodded, and together, you slipped back through the darkness.
when you reached your bed, you laid down beside anya, adjusting under the thin blanket.
sang-woo crouched beside you, his presence lingering.
you blinked up at him sleepily.
"you don’t have to stay."
but he did.
he stayed for another half hour, sitting silently by your bed, watching.
making sure no one tried anything stupid.
making sure no one touched his girl.
later on after the tug of war game, something inside you shifted.
the feeling of your body being pulled toward death, the sheer force it took to survive, the way you had to trust complete strangers just to stay alive
it made you realize something.
trust was temporary.
survival was everything.
you could feel some of your morals slipping, piece by piece.
it was only a matter of time before trust meant nothing.
anya didn’t seem to take the same lesson from it.
she was freaking out.
you noticed how she started muttering under her breath, shaking more often, picking at her nails until they bled.
she wasn’t built for this.
sang-woo? he was the opposite.
cold. calculating. calm.
you found yourself sticking closer to him, not entirely sure why, but knowing he was the safest option to be around.
when it was time for the glass bridge game, all hell broke loose.
you were in front of sang-woo, anya was in front of you, and some random man was in front of anya.
the tension was suffocating.
one by one, players were screaming, falling to their deaths, bodies smacking against the floor below like insects against a windshield.
the only ones left were 456, 067, sang-woo, you, anya, and the man at the front.
the man was trying to inspect the glass, claiming he could tell which one was weak, taking his sweet time.
the clock was running out.
three minutes left.
anya snapped, her voice sharp, full of panic.
"can you take any fucking longer?"
the man turned back, offended, but didn’t say anything.
two minutes, thirty seconds.
finally, he made his move.
he chose wrong.
the man's scream echoed, his body disappeared into the void below, glass shards flying.
"all of that for nothing,"
player 067 muttered.
you nodded, feeling your heart hammer against your ribs.
now, it was anya’s turn.
she froze.
the slavic's hands were shaking, her breath coming out in sharp, uneven gasps.
you tried to keep her calm.
"anya, it’s okay, you’ll pick the right one."
she didn’t move.
sang-woo suddenly stepped onto your glass tile.
your breath caught in your throat.
for a split second, you thought.. was he going to push me off?
no.
instead, he pressed himself right behind you, his body warm, solid, steady.
the man's big hand found your arm, gripping it gently, keeping you in place as you both watched anya.
"anya, come on!"
your patience was wearing thin.
anya sucked in a shaky breath, eyes darting between the two tiles in front of her.
"i’m sorry, i’m trying to guess."
two minutes.
finally, she jumped.
the right one.
everyone let out a breath of relief as they followed onto the next safe glass ahead.
except sang-woo.
he stayed right behind you onto the next glass.
you smirked slightly at the way his body heat pressed into yours.
one row left.
you looked at anya.
"okay, you got it right last time, now do it again."
you hear player 456 from the far back yell.
she was trembling, sweat dripping down her forehead.
"i don’t—i don’t know."
one minute, thirty seconds.
"anya, pick one, goddammit!"
your voice cracked, frustration leaking through.
"i’m sorry,"
she whispered, eyes darting between the last two panels.
one minute.
something inside you snapped.
you couldn’t wait anymore.
sang-woo shifted slightly, sensing it.
you turned, moving him off your back slightly.
then, you did something terrible.
you jumped onto the same glass tile as anya.
the russian's breath hitched, her whole body going rigid as you stood right behind her.
"anya, i’m sorry. forgive me."
she barely had time to turn her head before you shoved her forward.
she hit the glass.
it shattered.
anya's scream pierced through the air, her arms flailing as she plunged onto the ground below.
the pink hair was the last thing you saw before she disappeared.
you didn’t even breathe before hopping onto the correct glass, your heart hammering against your ribs.
twenty seconds left.
everyone else followed...sang-woo, 067, 456.
all of you had survived.
when you turned back, searching for any sign of anya’s body, it was too far down.
you couldn’t process it before—
the entire bridge exploded.
glass shards flew in every direction, slicing through your skin like razor blades.
you shielded your face, feeling the sting of cuts across your body, blood trickling down your arms.
everything blurred.
you felt yourself stumble, someone’s hand grabbing your waist, holding you upright.
sang-woo.
his grip was firm, keeping you from falling.
when 456 and 067 walked ahead, sangwoo stayed beside you.
the man's lips were close to your ear, his breath steady while yours was ragged.
"you did what you had to do."
your hands were shaking.
anya was gone.
the girl who had slept beside you.
the girl who had joked with you.
you pushed her to her death.
the worst part?
you didn’t regret it.
by the end of the last game.. the dorms were empty now.
just you and sang-woo.
no more screams.
no more bloodstained floors.
no more players, just two survivors standing in the aftermath of hell.
you had won.
you both had.
the massive room that once held hundreds of people was now eerily silent.
the beds, the sheets, the steel walls.. it all looked the same, but it felt different.
everyone else was dead.
you turned, facing sang-woo.
the man's expression was unreadable, always was.
the man's eyes locked on you like he was memorizing this moment.
"so," you exhaled, voice hoarse.
"we made it."
he nodded.
"we did."
"and we split the money."
the words left your lips, but something about them felt off.
sang-woo agreed.
he had said it himself.
you would split the money, go your separate ways, start over.
the way he looked at you now...
you knew that was never his plan.
"right,"
sang-woo murmured, stepping closer.
"we split the money."
sangwoo's tone was smooth, but there was a finality to it.
you understood exactly what that meant.
he wasn’t letting you go.
he had killed for you.
067. 456. gone.
you weren’t stupid.
he and 456 had some sort of a connection, something deeper than just the games.
maybe they were friends? you had no clue since he did not tell you.
shoot, he did not even tell you 456 and 067's real names.
you had seen the way they looked at each other before it all came crashing down.
however, sang-woo chose you.
he had to.
there was no hesitation when he ended 456.
no second thoughts when 067 bled out.
he did it all for you.
the 45.6 billion wasn’t just his money.
it wasn’t even just your money.
it was yours together.
blood money. tainted, filthy, but yours.
"i hope you understand,"
sang-woo said, his fingers brushing against your wrist, his touch deceptively gentle.
"i didn’t do all of this just to watch you walk away."
sangwoo's grip tightened slightly, firm enough to send a clear message.
you were his.
the man's breath was warm as he leaned in, eyes dark with something unreadable.
"you're coming with me."
you didn’t argue.
you didn’t fight it.
deep down, you had already accepted it.
you didn’t mind at all.
masterlist
#cho sang woo#squid game#cho sang woo x reader#player 218#sang woo#sangwoo x gihun#squid game fanfic#meadowfics#squid game x reader#squid game x y/n#squid game x you#squid game s1#squid game season 1#squid game s2#squid game season 2#squid games#gi hun#gi hun x reader#player 067 x reader
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I really liked Oppenheimer. I know it's not for everyone, but as someone who is interested in STEM and STEM history, especially pertaining to physics, this movie pushed all of the right buttons for me. I think it did a good job at showing just how flawed and utterly human many of these mythologized historical figures were in real life, and how the Manhattan Project was riddled with internal and external political factors from even before its conception.
I also appreciated just how utterly fucking powerful and eldritch they made the bomb. Obviously a significant portion of the movie is dedicated to the creation of the bomb, but it's often sort of a looming figure in the background. It's the increasing number of marbles in the jar, it's the steady theoretical and experimental progress, it's the dropping of dates for those who know the historical timeline of events. And when it's finally revealed, it's Fucking Terrifying. You pretty much never see the full mushroom cloud in frame; it's always a small portion of it or the flash of light shining on our characters. And the sinking feeling you get when the screen is lit up and you just know, you're anticipating that deafening blast from the shockwave because sound travels slower than light. And you feel guilty in a way because you have the privilege of knowing what's coming, while in your mind you know the victims of such devices had no idea before they were either vaporized on the spot or severly traumatized. It conveys so well the perspective of the scientists on the project, that you've challenged god and, although maybe not surpassing it, made something equally as terrifying.
Character-wise, I don't really have much to say. I do like that the latter third of the movie slowed down a lot to focus on the accusations made against Oppenheimer, which helped to flesh out a range of characters who were sort of just set pieces to Oppenheimer himself before the interviews. And despite my previous statement about breaking down the idolization of historical figures, I was indeed excited like a Marvel fan whenever one of my physics blorbos showed up on screen. "Holy shit it's Niels Bohr!!" "omg Lorentz my scrunkly wunkly!!!" "ITS BONGO GUY OMG BONGO GUY I KNOW HIM" like yeah a lot of them turned out to be Not Great People in their personal lives but I can acknowledge that while also geeking out at their recognition in mainstream media.
All in all, very good movie. I intend to watch it with my mom when I get the chance.
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SSR Azul Ashengrotto - Room Relaxation Voice Lines
I wonder how our newest little business campaign will come to fruition... Heh, oh how I so look forward tomorrow's sales numbers.
Summon: One will usually interact with more people on their birthday than any other ordinary day. In order to deepen personal connections, I must act strategically.
Groovification: I should dress myself promptly. I'd like to make the most of what little time I have available in the mornings.
Home: It's my private time from here on out.
Swap Looks: A wonderful morning.
Home Transition 1: I appreciate how everyone seeks me out for counsel... After all, the more I know of other people's quandaries, the better.
Home Transition 2: A moment ago, Deuce-san shouted his birthday greetings towards me with such fervor. I can't say I'm used to that sort of well wishing...
Home Transition 3: I've started seriously looking into stocks recently. It's never a bad thing to learn all you can before trading.
Home Transition - Login: I refuse to receive gifts as a rule, however birthday cards are another matter. I make sure to read through each one and keep them well.
Home Transition - Groovy: Not only did he wish me happy birthday before classes began, but he also intends to visit the Mostro Lounge... Epel-san is a model freshman.
Home Tap 1: Better sleep quality leads to a more productive performance during the day. It was absolutely worth investing in proper nightwear.
Home Tap 2: Whenever Cater-san graces the Lounge, there is an uptick in the number of customers we see. Now may be the time to unfurl yet another trendy new dish!
Home Tap 3: Hairstyle is an important factor when it comes to first impression. I am always careful to set it so as to give off a professional appearance.
Home Tap 4: Of course, I fully understand the sentiment that money is not a necessity when it comes to celebrating someone's birthday... Yet Ruggie-san takes it to a whole different level!
Home Tap 5: The internet may be quick with how it disseminates information, but sometimes newspapers can still provide unexpectedly valuable reports. How about you give reading one a try?
Home Tap - Groovy: You would like me to teach you some makeup tips? Of course, I don't mind at all. That is, if you are willing to pay a suitable fee.
Duo: [AZUL]: Epel-san, there's no need to gift me anything. [EPEL]: No need to shy away, Azul-san.
Birthday Login Message: [Yuu]-san. Have you, by chance, come to celebrate my birthday? Good timing, I had just hit a roadblock with what I was doing, so I welcome the change of pace. You're curious what this is? Well, it's a new board game. The other day, I only just barely lost to Idia-san, you see. I absolutely must figure out a winning play before our next bout...! Oh, are you intrigued by this board game as well? Perfect, how does a friendly match sound, as I work through possible strategies?
Requested by @oya-oya-okay.
#twisted wonderland#twst#azul ashengrotto#epel felmier#twst azul#twst epel#twst translation#twst birthday#mention: deuce#mention: cater#mention: epel#mention: ruggie#mention: idia
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The sheer number of times Eddie is mentioned when Buck comes out to Maddie has been pointed out time and time again. Some take it as a sign that Buck is subconsciously in love with Eddie, some see it as foreshadowing for these two to be romantically involved in the future, while others simply think it's an Easter egg left in by writers as a nod to shippers.
The way I see it, there is a reason why Eddie keeps being brought up in this scene, but it's not what you think.
If you've rewatched this scene as much as I have, you'd remember that Buck actually isn't coming out to Maddie on purpose in this scene. He originally goes there to talk and ask for her advice, because he feels bad about the hot chicks incident when Eddie walked in on him and Tommy at the restaurant.
In fact, he fully intends to keep the identity of his date hidden. He can't even risk Chimney getting wind of it, in case he or Eddie puts two and two together and figures the whole thing out.
Maddie is always there to talk things out with her brother, but she would never turn down a chance to gossip.
He completely dodges Maddie's question and quickly changes the subject. He needs to tell Maddie the full story of his disastrous date, but he can only refer to Tommy as his date, or "this person". The more he does this, the higher the risk of slipping up, Maddie would likely ask more questions about this mysterious person as well, so Buck frames the whole narrative around the only person he can safely refer to: Eddie (and Marisol, but she isn't important in this story).
Maddie picks up on Buck's secrecy, now she really wants to know who this person is and why Buck refuses to reveal their identity. Buck again immediately shuts it down, and brings the topic back to Eddie.
While I'm sure Buck feels bad for lying to his best friend, especially when there's no reason to expect Eddie reacting with anything less than acceptance, when Buck starts actually talking about his behavior and what upsets him the most, it isn't really about Eddie. He's ashamed of himself for lying right in front of Tommy. In fact, he's so upset over Tommy cutting the date short and leaving him on the curb that he accidentally uses a gendered pronoun.
Maddie "I am 9-1-1" Han makes a career out of being a good and thorough listener, so of course she notices the pronoun. From this point on, the subject of the conversation shifts from Eddie to Buck's newly discovered sexuality, and later, Tommy.
Buck knows he goes to Maddie because he feels bad, but he still hasn't fully processed the fact that he's into men too and what it means to him. He's still calling himself an ally, a supporter of queer people, but he's confused as to why it doesn't seem to apply when it comes to himself. Maddie correctly points out that he's no longer just an ally, and the recency of his discovery might have been the cause of his strange and panicked behavior during the date.
This is the prime example of acting turning the same line into different meanings. The first "wow" seems to me like Maddie is finally connecting the dots. She practically raised her brother, it's not unlikely that she has previously witnessed Buck having boy problems. I feel like it's a "wow, everything makes so much sense now" wow. It looks like Buck takes a little offence at it and asks Maddie to clarify what she means by "wow". Maddie tells him it's more like a "wow, this is a nice surprise" wow.
Oh, boy is completely clueless. Maddie is just trying her best to keep up with Buck's increasingly oblivious statements.
Buck suddenly brings up Tommy, probably because he hasn't been able to stop thinking about him since the kiss. Apparently, he's so attracted to Tommy both physically and as a person, it makes him realize his interest in men, something no other has achieved thus far. Maddie recognizes the name her brother has been harping on for the past few weeks.
Poor Maddie must be so confused. First her brother and husband-to-be keep talking about how cool this pilot who saved everyone is, then he becomes Eddie's friend and Buck gets all jealous about it. Most recently, Maddie is horrified by Buck's action on the basketball court, because he only has a history of hurting himself to get someone's attention, not the target of his attention seeking. And now Buck has gone on a date with Tommy? So Maddie decides, one step at a time, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Buck initially tells Maddie about lying to his best friend and how he feels like a fraud, so she tackles (no pun intended) this part first.
If you come into this scene with preconceived notions, the word "feelings" being in proximity to the name Eddie may seem like to you that Maddie is pointing to "Buck's misplaced romantic feelings towards Eddie". But if you put these lines into context, Buck simply isn't sure of how he feels about his bisexuality in general. In fact, the only thing he's certain of in this entire conversation is his attraction to Tommy. Maddie also isn't bringing up Eddie out of the blue because she thinks her brother is secretly in love with his best friend. Again, Buck originally does want advice about lying to Eddie, albeit partly using his name to avoid revealing his date's identity, so Maddie gives it to him now, no need to read too much in between the lines, especially after the "wow" exchange.
Now that the Eddie stuff is out of the way, Maddie can comfortably gossip about Buck's new hot pilot crush. And Buck looks absolutely smitten at the mere mention of Tommy.
Eddie is undoubtedly a very important person in Buck's life, and it must be killing Buck inside for lying about something so important to his best friend. Though in this scene, Buck seems to be mostly using Eddie's name to circumvent the necessity of mentioning Tommy's name and to deflect any probing question about his identity. Once he accidently lets it slip that he was on a date with a guy, he pretty much drops the whole Eddie act entirely.
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My first and only statement on all the accusations
Hello, I’m sure most of you are aware of the accusations about me and some of the stories I posted on my account. This post is not only an apology post, but an accountability post that details everything that happened from beginning to end. Everything will be here, so I will not be making more posts about this unless it’s to direct to this one.
Adding a tw now for suicide baiting, death threats and mentions of razors. So sorry but it must be included.
First I just wanted to say, no I wasn’t avoiding any of this. When this all started I was still in the middle of finals week, and I don’t live on tumblr 24/7. I had to focus on my finals to ensure I can get my degree and graduate. That was my number one priority. If anyone was blocked or comments were restricted during that time, it was my mostly my irl friend ensuring I wasn’t consumed by tumblr and could focus on my finals. I was already under a lot of stress and she offered to take over until I was finished with finals.
I was also getting death threats (people telling me to skin myself I alive and to jump). So she was ensuring that when I returned to my own blog, I would not see such triggering content. I have a history with suicide attempts and this was necessary for my mental health. The appropriate people were unblocked and remain unblocked to this day.
I always intended to make a statement, I just prioritized my real life first. It also took time to craft the post you are seeing now. I wanted it to be authentic, no misinformation, and well written.
So, as far as plagiarism goes, yes I did plagiarize specifically 3 of zombiekillerbiceps stories. I can’t actually remember the names of them and the author has removed their account from the site. But on my end specifically “Getting Closer”, “Edge of Control” and “Thrills” were not my own writing. Before they deleted their account I had already reached out via dm and apologized. We came to an understanding. I do not know why they deleted their account but they essentially said in DMs they accepted my apology and wanted to put this behind us but they were very hurt that I had copied them.
Edit: I found the post she made calling me out and will attach it.

As far as His Watchful Eye goes, the only plagiarism that took place was specifically the first chapter of it and only the first chapter. The first chapter of Something Permanent and His Watchful Eye are very similar. The remaining 13 chapters are my own writing and ideas. I have already reached out to @explorevenus and apologized. She has responded and made her own statement regarding it if you want to go and read it.
The only reason it was in anon is because this account (dollgxtz) is my side blog. I couldn’t figure out how to send a non anonymous message without exposing my main blog, so anon was the best thing. I didn’t want people sending death threats too that one too. I should’ve put my username in the anon, but it was already very late for me and I hadn’t slept in about 26 hours. I just wasn’t thinking very clearly and for that Venus I am also very sorry.
@manika-whims (the person that first wrote about all this) will remain blocked and some of her followers because I do suspect it was that group of people telling me to die. Manika wrote a very long post as she was upset that I “mischaracterized” Xavier in His Watchful Eye, called me a bitch and a loser because of a fictional man in a fictional story, and I will not entertain such immaturity. Full stop.
One of the anons that sent the suicide bait also called me a bitch and a waste of space. It was just too similar.

I also got this one. It’s too graphic to show the entirety of it.

I apologize for the plagiarism. But I will never apologize for writing characters the way I do or for writing dark content. It’s just not that serious. After she posted that I started getting these death threats and more.
You had every right to call me out for plagiarism Manika, but I stand my decision to keep you blocked. It had nothing to do with plagiarism accusations or me hiding from them, but I do believe you egged on your audience to come attack me over a fictional story and for that reason you will never be unblocked. I’ve attached screenshots below of the entire exchange. This is not to deflect from my own actions. This is simply to explain why she is blocked. She will say it’s because I was trying to hide from this but that is not true. I am just very sure the death threats came from her or her audience. This isn’t to say that she absolutely did but just in case, for my own mental health and safety I had to have them blocked.






Now that that’s discussed, I would like to address my readers and any future readers of mine. The plagiarized stories “Getting Closer” “Thrills” and “Edge of Control”. have been deleted and will remain deleted. Those of you asking for copies, please do not. They are not my writing nor my own works. Any remaining single work story on my blog is my own work and 100 percent my own ideas. My masterlist has been updated to reflect this as well.
When I first made my blog and posted those stories, I was a very insecure writer. I did not think I was truly capable of writing or making a good story. I did those things out of insecurity and not feeling good enough. But as time went on, I began to create my own stories and realize that I can write if I put my mind to it. These are not excuses, only explanations. Nothing excuses my behavior.
If you want to defend me, that is your own choice. I ask that you do not though in terms of plagiarism because I ultimately did plagiarize and that is 100 percent wrong of me to do. But in terms of AI usage accusations, these are not true. I have never and never will use AI to write.
I have spent countless hours writing chapters for His Watchful Eye, pulled all nighters, and even lost sleep making this story. I have timestamps in google docs that show me editing and writing my own story. I didn’t even know AI had advanced to the point that you can write fully blown novels. But make no mistake, Ai checkers are not reliable. I had an incident in my first year of college where a paper I wrote got flagged for 77 percent ai generated content. That paper was written 100 percent by me over countless hours and still got flagged. It was a very scary time in my life and for that reason alone I will never use AI.
If you want to unfollow me, please do so. If you want to block me, please do so. I would never hold that against anyone and am not mad at anyone for doing so. Just don’t come in my anon box telling me to jump, don’t message me rude or disgusting messages telling me to die. I am a human, I am a real person behind the screen. What I did was wrong but you are no better telling someone to kill themselves. Please just block me.
All in all thanks for reading. If you unfollow, thanks for being here. If you don’t, thanks for being here. If you want to be removed from any taglists, please just message me. You will not be blocked. Just removed from any future taglists! I have vowed to only post 100 percent of my own content from here on out, so if you stay I can promise you will only be reading my own work.
I am no longer the insecure writer that I once was, I now know my abilities and am confident enough to make my own stories. I have a 240,000 word fic out right now, I genuinely am still shocked I have done that. Writing has become a joy for me and I will not stop now. I should’ve never been afraid to make mistakes or be bad at it. I’m sorry to the people I hurt, my readers, and anyone reading this in the future. I am still growing and learning from my mistakes, and this has been the biggest lesson I will never forget.
Plagiarism is wrong and hurts authors. If you are reading this and have done so as well, please rethink your decisions and take them down, just as I have done.
I love interacting with you all, when you send me asks and messages about HWE or any of my original single fics. It is amazing getting to explain stuff or gush with you guys over the things that I have truly written. I truly love being an author and want my future as one to be honest and communicative.
The comments on this will be monitored, but not restricted. Voicing your thoughts is okay as long as they are respectful and not a direct threat to me or anyone’s life. Questions are okay as well and I will answer to the best of my ability. Please no:
insulting me or any of the people mentioned in this post (manika, venus, zombie, etc)
death threats or suicide baiting anyone
I want this to be a mature and honest discussion, and that can’t happen if I allow such comments. Despite what has been said about or to me, I do not want to replicate any insults/drama on my own blog. You can voice your displeasure or opinions without name calling.
Same goes for any messages or anon box messages you all may send to anyone involved here. We are all real people with feelings. Keep that in mind please before you message anyone.
We all make mistakes. Without mistakes, we cannot grow as people. It’s what we do after we make those mistakes that truly attest to our character. And this is what I’ve chosen to do. Lay it all out for my readers and the rest of the LADS fandom to see, apologize to the people I hurt and only write my own stories from here on out. Thank you to the readers and friends who approached me with kindness and encouraged me to keep writing authentically. And thank you all for reading, I wish all of you the best in life 🤍
-Umi ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡
#umi rambles#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#sylus x reader#sylus#lads#his watchful eye#dollgxtz#love and deepspace smut#sylus x reader smut#l&ds smut#lads smut#lnds#l&ds#love and deep space x reader#xavier love and deepspace#l&ds sylus#lads fic#love and deep space smut#lads sylus x reader#lads scenarios#love and deepspace zayne#rafayel love and deepspace
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I've made a post about great lesser-known noirs, but it occurs to me that some of you might not be familiar with the classics, and might want to know where to start. This is a ridiculously short list- I have a million more to talk about- but here are some of the big stars of the genre.
The Maltese Falcon: Sam Spade, a clever but callous private detective, gets wrapped up in intrigue relating to an artifact that is functionally cursed. If he's an unscrupulous character, just wait until you meet everyone else. The whole damn cast is electrifying, lending charm and cruelty in equal measure.
The Big Sleep: Philip Marlowe, a kinder and more poetic detective for Humphrey Bogart to play than Spade, is called upon to deal with a wealthy, dysfunctional family, and it keeps on getting weirder from there. Is the sharp-tongued Vivian Sternwood the femme fatale she seems, or is she just another person trying to find the right thing to do in desperate circumstances? And will she and Marlowe keep their hands off each other until the plot has had its last twist?
Double Indemnity: Rich housewife Phyllis Dietrichson and sleazy insurance agent Walter Neff are, by their own admission, rotten people. It's only natural that they should plot a murder together, and that they should turn on each other the very second things go wrong. Every single domestic murder movie since 1944 has ripped this off.
Kiss Me Deadly: This is nominally an adaptation of a Mike Hammer story. Screenwriter Bezzerides hated Mike Hammer. As depicted here, he is one of the worst people in the world. Depending on the cut of the film you see, he may inadvertently cause the nuclear apocalypse. (For once, the theatrical cut is darker.)
Sweet Smell of Success: Cruel, all-powerful columnist JJ Hunsecker wants his sister's boyfriend out of the way (for reasons that are, um, ambiguous.) To accomplish this, he enlists the biggest weasel in New York, Sidney Falco, and the two completely deserve each other as they spend the rest of the movie trading elaborate insults. Popular on tumblr for its dialogue and chemistry between the leads.
Sunset Boulevard: Broke screenwriter Joe Gillis thinks he can con a has-been into hiring him as a script doctor, and that's the last free decision he ever gets to make. From then on, his life is in the hands of Norma Desmond, silent film starlet turned crazed recluse, terrifying yet intensely pitiable. This is as much gothic horror as noir.
Ace in the Hole: The story of a man trapped in a cave is turning out to be a big hit in the newspaper, and if the publicity will make a reporter's career, then what's the harm in delaying rescue just for a little while? This is as vicious as noir gets, but damn it, you've just got to see what happens next. (Watch Jacob Geller's video Fear of the Depths after this.)
Sorry Wrong Number: Of all the films on this list, this is the one that really scared me. In the days of switchboards, a rich hypocondriac woman is connected to the wrong phone line and overhears a murder being planned. It doesn't take her long to figure out she's the intended victim, and each call she makes or recieves makes the situation darker. But how can she escape her fate if she can't- or won't leave her bed?
The Asphalt Jungle: The heist movie. Maybe the only heist movie ever made. Every line is quotable. Every member of the team is an unforgettable personality. When things go wrong, they go horribly wrong. One minute you're laughing, and the next minute you think you'll never laugh again.
Gun Crazy: Laurie and Bart, two practiced sharpshooters, are perhaps the most perfect match in all of noir- and that's a bad thing. When one half of the duo gets a criminal idea in their head, the other can't say no. When the opportunity to ditch her man like a sap comes up, the femme fatale throws it away to be doomed at his side. He fell in love with her when she first aimed a gun at him. Quentin Tarantino kissed star Peggy Cummins's feet at a showing of the film, and I hope she kicked him in the head.
Laura: Everyone was in love with Laura Hunt, and somebody killed her- or did they? Did they get the right person? Is the cop on the case in love with a dead woman? Was her columnist mentor just her gay best friend, or was there something darker beneath that facade? And what would Laura think of all this? A big inspiration on Twin Peaks.
In a Lonely Place: Bogart isn't at all heroic here, as a screenwriter with a drinking habit and a violent temper. He's obviously a bad idea to date, but just how bad an idea? He's not the type of guy who'd kill a woman, is he? Bogart and Gloria Holden give perhaps their best performances here, and they'll wound your soul.
Touch of Evil: A Mexican cop (played, unfortunately, by Charlton Heston) finds out a nasty secret about the big hero cop Hank Quinlan: he's framed the culprit in most of his cases. Not because he's crooked, but because his intuition tells him they're guilty. Director Orson Welles as Quinlan is frightening, grotesque, and a little bit tragic in what some consider the last classic noir.
The Killers: The first twenty minutes or so are an adaptation of a Hemingway story, where out of town hitmen gun down a man so depressed he won't even bother to run from them. The rest of the film is an investigation into how he got that way. It had something to do with a radiant gangster's girl, and something to do with a few botched crimes. Sometimes a man can die before the bullets even touch him.
The Third Man: Everybody is lying about the whereabouts of an American expatriate named Harry when his friend comes looking. Did they do something to him? Or, more frightening still, is he the one who's been doing things to other people? Orson Welles is a more charming monster than he was in Touch of Evil; the light and shadows on his face cast him as a vampire, while his fingers sticking up through the sewer grate look like something terrifying emerging from the earth.
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The Inferno Theory: The Chara Theory to End All Chara Theories

Here we are! Nine years of Undertale. And seeing how Chara is heavily associated with the number 9 (AND THAT TOBY FOX FINALLY TALKED ABOUT THEM), I can't think of a better way to celebrate the occasion than by dedicating this 5000-word-long theory about them? Y'all remember when people used to make long-ass theories about Chara? Yeah, they're coming back with a vengeance! To say I have a colossal hyperfixation is a massive understatement. No character in all of fiction has had a bigger impact on my life than this little rose-cheeked, cocoa-addicted freak. I’ve been a Chara fan for as long as I’ve been an Undertale fan, and you can bet that my understanding of them has changed a lot since. And now I have the pleasure of sharing said understandings with y’all!
Once upon a time, there was an aroace autistic who, like most of y’all, had a very unhealthy obsession with Undertale. And unlike most of you, he thought the Genocide Route was really fun. Most fans talk about how unhappy they felt killing everyone, but for me, I felt like a polar bear at a baby harp seal convention. I got a disturbing level of happiness out of turning everyone to dust. Hell, the only unhappiness I felt was when I couldn’t turn Monster Kid to dust.

Oh well, at least I got a good consolation prize!

I was one sadistic son of a gun, and so I was even more delighted to find out I had a secret admirer/partner-in-crime and that they joined in on the fun because I was such a goshdarn inspiration to them. Not wishing to disappoint my self-appointed partner, I erased the world without a second thought, eagerly awaiting what we might get to do together.
So you can guess I was pretty taken aback when, instead of a warm welcome, they started lecturing me about how I couldn’t accept the world’s destruction and that I was the one fully responsible for it (even though they were eager to take credit for it earlier). I didn’t think much of it at first. Initially, I just thought that they were just irritated that I was undoing what we had worked so hard to accomplish.
But as this game taught me time after time, you should never trust your first impressions. Those first impressions would crumble to dust when they said this.
To say I was completely baffled is an understatement. Why the hell would this prepubescent genocidal maniac be so obsessed over whether or not I think I’m above consequences? So obsessed to the point they would tell me to go to hell if I told them no? It was at that moment I realized there was something more to this character than meets the eye. But for a long time, I couldn’t seem to figure out what that something was. And it didn’t seem like anyone could figure that out either.
I’m very much a veteran of the fan wars that have emerged surrounding Chara. In fact, one might even say I am a deserter of sorts, as I am a former member of the Chara Defence Squad, Offense Squad, and Neutralist Squad. But I’m not gonna be a stuck-up and say everyone’s a canon-ignoring idiot except for me and that I’m the only one who knows what Toby Fox intended Chara to be. Even though I ended up with a very different take than yours (and will certainly argue why it’s the best), I owe you all your discussions a huge debt, and I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t gotten invested in your interpretations, to begin with. Not to mention that, contrary to what some may argue, you’ve made some valid points to complement them.
And while the debate that resulted from Chara’s ambiguous morality has led to a lot of controversy and even toxicity, it has also been a source of some FANTASTIC CONTENT. Like seriously, would we have gotten those badass renditions of Stronger Than You if no one thought Chara was an awful person? Would we have gotten Man on the Internet’s beautiful rendition of Star if no one thought Chara was a good person (turned awful)?

It would be utter hypocrisy for me to ask of you to approach me and my arguments (or anyone who accepts them) with understanding and good faith only to then not do the same to anyone who doesn’t agree with me. In this theory, I will definitely argue why some points made about Chara are flawed; points that you might hold yourself. But that doesn’t automatically mean that you (or your takes) are intellectually or morally inferior to mine. And besides, I’m not Toby Fox.
So with that said, why did I eventually came to disagree with pretty much everyone about Chara? Because, one way or another, I couldn’t find a take that clicked with me personally as I felt there were various inconsistencies and issues holding them back. I looked at YouTube videos, subreddits, Tumblr essays, Twitter threads, and even forums on the Steam Community. But I couldn’t really find what I thought were satisfactory answers to the questions I had about Chara’s motivations, role in the game, and relationship with the player.
And then, one day, I found those answers. It all happened when I asked myself: “What if Chara didn’t turn against me… because they were always against me from the start?!”
I don’t mean that Chara only saw you as a means to an end. I mean that YOU were the end. What if Chara didn’t use you so they could screw over the monsters but they used the monsters so they could screw over YOU.
You probably think I’m insane, don’t you? And you’re right! I AM INSANE! AND SO IS THIS WHOLE DAMN THEORY!!! But somehow, someway, it just works!! And I’ll show you why and how!!!
What you are about to read is the culmination of six years of reading and critiquing Chara takes and theories of every kind and quality, whether it be Judgement Boy’s Who is the Real Villain of Undertale to Wandydoodles’ Oblivion Theory. Six years of examining the arguments and counterarguments of Chara defenders, offenders, and neutralists alike. Six years of looking in every corner of the UTDR fandom. From the tranquil lands of Quora. To the dark recesses of Reddit. To the intellectual wastelands of Twitter. To the fiery hellsite of Tumblr. So, without further ado, get ready for some of the most pure, unadulterated, high-octane, universe-collapsing neurodivergence you’ve ever seen in your life!!!!!
Part 1: The demonic heritage of the "demon who comes when people call its name".
Have you ever had one of those moments where you’ve asked yourself, “What the actual hell is this guy talking about?” I bet you’re having that moment right now. Everything about their character post-death, including their motives, their methods, and their relationship with you, is perfectly reflected in one of their most famous (or rather infamous) lines:
When most people hear the word demon, the first thing that comes to mind is a being made of pure evil whose only purpose in life is to destroy all things good in the world. Right?
Well, yes, but actually, no. It’s a little more complicated than that. To argue that Chara is a demon because they’re simply “an evil little twerp that enjoys being evil” doesn’t do them or their role in Undertale justice (although that hasn’t stopped people from trying to argue that). To understand why calling themselves a demon is EXTREMELY important, we need to dive into the wonderful (and totally not controversial) world of religious beliefs!
In ancient and modern religions, demons are a little more complex than just ethereal jackasses with a vendetta against virtue and righteousness. Though they vary from faith to faith, most demons have a specific set of qualities and tropes that make them integral to whatever faith they’re in. You also see these demonic qualities in fiction that’s derived or inspired by religions, and since Undertale’s lore and worldbuilding have a heavy emphasis on the spiritual and divine, you can see them in Chara. Since Undertale is a game of “Western” origin, you can definitely see they share qualities that are all too familiar with devils of “Western” religions. In classic devil fashion, they target those with weak integrities or suspect morals; they tempt you with the promise of fulfilling your desires at your and everyone else’s expense; they’re able to control your body as you grow their power through your sins, and hell, they even do the thing where they make a deal for your soul. Also...

But though it's evident that Chara encourages you to do “evil,” THEY THEMSELVES are not responsible for it. Yes, Chara encouraged you to kill, but YOU are the one who acted on those encouragements. In fact, YOU are the one who encouraged THEM to help you out! They walked down the dark path with you, but you didn’t really give them anywhere else they could walk. You had all the power and every chance to turn back and no reason to keep walking. And yet you persisted.
But that does beg the question, why did you walk it at all? What could possibly inspire you to give all of these characters happiness, satisfaction, and peace and then rip it all away? Because you decided that giving everyone the most satisfying ending was not satisfying enough for you. Because there was more that you could experience for yourself, even if it meant making everyone else experience something absolutely horrific. It wasn’t enough for you to fill the glass only halfway. You needed to fill it to the brim. You wanted to reach the absolute. Even if doing the Genocide Run was a bad experience for you, you CANNOT deny it was a fulfilling one. And Chara knows it, too. It ain’t exactly a coincidence that fulfillment and fullness are recurring motifs in Chara’s character.

Like all demons, Chara is able to tempt the wicked and sinful by targeting our greatest weaknesses and deficiencies. It’s no different from how Succubi and Incubi target those who succumb to the sin of lust. That’s why you won’t go after my aroace ass anytime soon. But I digress.
But Chara doesn't just tempt us by exploiting our need to fill the glass to the brim but also because of how they exploit the satisfaction we get from watching it fill up, that is to say, the satisfaction that comes from trying to achieve fulfillment.
We humans are addicted to progression as much as we are to completion, and in an RPG like Undertale, the satisfaction of progression comes in the form of NUMBERS. Not just the numbers that flash on the screen when you battle enemies but also the ones that go up when you finish said enemies off, whether it be your hit points, experience points, and so on. And Undertale isn’t any ordinary RPG; it’s one where its RPG elements are interwoven into the fabric of the game’s universe. Because of that, Chara is able to use these elements in their world to influence those outside of it.

But Chara does not just influence us through the numbers that increase but also the ones that decrease. That’s why the first thing they do when we reach Snowdin is give us a tally.

It’s not just there to measure progress. It’s also there to incentivize us to keep progressing. It gives us a small dose of satisfaction that’s enough to distract us from the mundanity and misery of the murder run, like a loading bar on a loading screen. And just like with loading screens, the farther it progresses, the harder it gets to turn away. Why would you want all the lives you’ve taken and the stats you’ve gained to amount to nothing? Why would you want to hit reset and go through those brutal fights with Sans and Undyne again? You can’t empty out the glass, not when you’re that much closer to filling it to the brim. Speaking of Sans and Undyne, it’s quite interesting that even though they barely know you, they know exactly why you won’t take your foot off the pedal, so to speak.

But that’s not the only thing driving you, isn’t it? Chara knows that there was something else that was spurning you along. Something more powerful and more dangerous than your addiction to progression and completion: PRIDE.
Perhaps the real reason you kept giving in to sin until it was far too late was because you didn’t think it would be too late. You didn’t hold back because you thought you would be able to go back. You thought you could just absolve your sins with the press of a button like you did in countless worlds before. You thought you could dive in, touch the bottom, and come back out of the water. But what were you getting into? How deep would you have gone? And would you have gone in if you knew you couldn’t possibly return? You know you wouldn’t. And Chara knows it, too. That brings us back to the dialogue I showed you at the beginning of this theory. The one said changed everything I knew about this character, and I firmly believe that this is the MOST important line of dialogue in the entire franchise.
PART 2: THE PART WHERE I (PRETEND TO) DESTROY 9 YEARS OF ESTABLISHED FANON!
When I say that that little blurb about being above consequences is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL, I do not say that lightly. It isn’t just important to Chara's character, but the game of Undertale as a whole! Anyone who’s serious about Chara’s character should never take this for granted because Chara sure as hell does not.
It’s not just our refusal to accept the world’s destruction that’s a huge-ass deal to Chara; it’s the arrogance and complacency that accompanies it, rooted in the position and privileges we have as the player. It matters to them so much that they’re willing to completely forgo bartering for our soul (which they say they want) if we don’t admit that we have that belief!
And yet, despite Chara taking this subject so seriously, the people who are analyzing their character ironically don’t. Generally speaking, most people simply brush this line off as nothing more than something they do to help them on their quest to achieve their goals. So, with that said, let’s talk about what those supposed goals actually are.
In all my years of reading and assessing countless Chara theories and interpretations, I’ve discovered that everyone actually agrees on what Chara's goals are. They just can’t agree on why they want them. Said goals are A) reach the absolute, B) max out their numbers/power, C) erase the world, and/or D) eradicate all monsters. But what if it’s actually the other way around? What if those things were the means to an end rather than the ends themselves?
What if the true goal of the “demon who comes when people call its name” was just like that of the demons of old: not to be your partner in crime, but to torment and punish you for your crimes? To make you face CONSEQUENCES!
I’m not making this argument simply because it makes Chara look more badass (though I think it totally does, lol). I firmly believe that Undertale’s post-Genocide content is written so that Chara’s character can only make sense if that was Chara’s goal from start to finish. Because if Chara’s endgame was any of those four I mentioned earlier, their character kinda falls apart because they're awfully inconsistent about fulfilling them. And those inconsistencies are evident in the Second Geno Ending.
Discrepancy 1) They say they will “appear time and time again” to help us “eradicate the enemy and become strong,” and yet they call us perverted for eradicating everyone time and time again.

You can argue that they didn’t want us to recreate the world in the first place and just move on to another world, but if so, why let us come back at all? And if it’s to get our soul, why do they keep around this world after we have it? This leads us to...
Discrepancy 2) They tell us to ERASE the world and move on to the next, and yet they allow us to restore it without a hitch after we give them our SOUL, seeing how there’s no black void when we start the game again.
If Chara was powerless to stop us from coming back, this wouldn’t be such a big deal. But they CLEARLY DEMONSTRATE that they’re able to stop the player from restoring the world, as seen in the first post-genocide ending. And yet they don’t use this power after the first time the world is erased (WHICH YOU WOULD THINK THEY WOULD WANT TO USE SINCE THEY WANT TO ERASE THE WORLD AND MOVE ON TO ANOTHER)! Seeing how the world is back again without us doing anything makes the restoration of the world like something that Chara CHOSE ON THEIR OWN VOLITION. And what makes this all the more damning is...
Discrepancy 3) They tell us they’re down bad for increasing our ATK, DEF, EXP, and LV to the max and erasing the world and everyone in it, and yet they TELL US TO DEVIATE FROM THE ONLY ROUTE THAT ACCOMPLISHES THAT (which, as stated before, they call us perverse for doing it again).

So, let me get something straight. You tell us you want to ”eradicate the enemy” and “ erase this pointless world,” and yet not only are you allowing us to undo all of that, you want us to do something INSTEAD OF THAT??? It’s funny how you lecture us about how we cannot accept the world’s destruction BECAUSE, APPARENTLY, YOU WON’T EITHER!!!!! Also, before I forget...
Discrepancy 4)
WHAT KIND OF MISANTHROPE DEDICATES THEIR WHOLE LIFE TO WIPING OUT HUMANITY, GETS GIFT-WRAPPED A CHANCE TO DO THAT, AND THEN JUST PASSES IT UP?!?!?!

On behalf of misanthropes everywhere, I am DEEPLY disappointed in you!
So it doesn’t matter if you believe Chara is always evil, good, or detached from morality entirely. Because Chara has the same goal across all versions, they all succumb to the same inconsistencies!
Funny how most people see them as this embodiment of the addictive nature of levelling up and consuming everything in a piece of media and all that jazz WHEN THEY SEEM TO CASUALLY GIVE UP ON IT!!!!!!
And if you argue they want a Soulless Pacifist Run when they suggest “another path,” then ask yourself, what does that give them that a Genocide Run doesn’t? Keep in mind, aside from a scribbled-out photograph, we don’t see how many monsters or humans they killed besides the main characters or how much power and stats they gained from it. And it’s not like we see them erase the world afterward since only the genocide run has that infamous wall of red 9s. Not to mention, the genocide run is the most secure way of accomplishing their goals since they have the backing of the player. Not only that, but it’s also the safest and most efficient way to erase everyone and increase stats to the fullest, and we all know how Chara feels about efficiency.
So Chara has no reason to pick the Soulless pacifist ending over the Genocide Run if they want to achieve their end of increasing numbers and consuming the world… unless those things were a means to an end rather than ends themselves.

Indeed it is coming together! That’s the other reason their statement, “You think you’re above consequences,” is so damn important! They’re not telling us why we sinned, but it reveals they intend to make us suffer for those sins, and how.
That’s why Chara is seemingly so inconsistent about erasing the world. Because it was never about the world. It was all about YOU.
[SIDE NOTE: I’m sure many of you will point out that if Chara wanted us to get a Soulless ending in this world, then why would they encourage us to “move on to the next?” I don’t think this is too big an issue for two reasons. First, this line is meant to emphasize that, like all demons, Chara is inescapable and that no matter what world you go to (within their own universe), Chara will always follow you now that you’ve unleashed them. Second, because their goal concerns us and not the world they’re a part of, their character avoids the aforementioned inconsistencies that hamper the other Chara theories much more severely, in my opinion.]
Part 3: Contrapasso
Now I’m sure some of y’all might think that Chara doesn’t need to yearn for our torment to achieve the impact of the Soulless ending and that just because Chara is a demon doesn’t automatically mean they need to screw us over. You are right in that not everyone who makes a Faustian Bargain needs to have malicious intentions toward the people they’re taking advantage of (Kuybey from Madoka Magica is a great example of that). But Chara does need it! Not only does it make their character more narratively cohesive, but also makes their character more thematically impactful. And it’s more in tune with their demonic nature for them to want to torment us.
Because demons represent something more terrifying than evil itself. They represent the terrible price of embracing it, a price that all evildoers fear more than anything, and that all demons want seek to inflict upon us. Like most demons, Chara isn’t encouraging us to sin to fill the emptiness in our soul (or even their own). They did it to perpetuate that torturously empty and unfulfilled state for all eternity, a state which even themselves now endure.
Now, you’ve probably noticed that I’ve talked a lot about the themes of fulfillment and emptiness, and it’s for a good reason since those themes are heavily featured in Undertale. I mean, how could it not? Because concepts of demons, hell, and sins (which are explicitly mentioned in the game) are deeply intertwined with the concept of emptiness. The theologian Thomas Aquinas once defined evil as not a presence but as an absence (of that which is good). Darkness is the absence of light; war is the absence of peace; bigotry is the absence of tolerance; pride is the absence of humility, etc. You see this reflected in not just Christian theology but also fiction as a whole, as a lot of villains are motivated by a desire to obtain something that they believe can’t be without. Whether it be wealth, status, recognition, power, the death of an individual, or even just sadistic pleasure.
Since demons are beings that are inseparable from evil itself, the life of a demon is forever cursed by unceasing and unbearable emptiness. Hell, the word damnation originated from the Latin word damnum, which literally means loss! They’re not exactly partying in hell while your immortal soul is being slow-roasted for eternity. They’re burning in that lake of fire and brimstone along with you! They can’t end their damnation, not because they don’t want to but because they simply can’t. They’re fated to be bereft of the satisfaction or fulfillment found in Heaven or Earth, a fate that is worse than death in every sense of the word, especially since they can’t experience death anymore. Because of that, a demon embodies what is perhaps the most terrifying form of evil of all: not one rooted in a desire to rid the emptiness and unfulfillment within themselves, but a desire to inflict them upon others. Because as a wise philosopher once said:
We see this horrific state of mutually assured suffering everywhere across fiction. From goofy, lighthearted tokusatsu's...
...to nightmarish sci-fi dystopias...
...to a little indie game made 9 years ago.

Oh yeah. Don’t think I was gonna talk about emptiness without mentioning everyone’s favourite homicidal fauna-turned-flora, especially not with lines like this.
Take one to know one! And it can’t be a coincidence that the game emphasizes the theme of emptiness when giving the spotlight to the three characters that have committed the most “evil”: Flowey/Asriel, Chara, and YOU.
Quite the unholy trinity going on here, eh? It truly is fascinating how the emptiness led us to work with each other to exterminate all monsters. And it’s also interesting how the unique kind of emptiness we have eventually led us to work against each other. Whether it be Flowey wishing to preserve his sentimentality for his long-gone sibling, us players wanting to maintain our (perverted) sentimentality for the world of Undertale, or Chara weaponizing these sentimentalities to exact their misanthropic hatred.
Remember how I said that Chara was a lousy misanthrope because they keep letting us bring back the humans they wanted annihilated when they were alive? That does make them a lousy misanthrope… unless their misanthropy found a higher priority target: YOU!!!!! Chara’s desire to torment us didn’t come out of thin air. The same hatred that drove them to wipe out the humans of their world years ago is the same hatred that’s driving them to get at the humans of our world, even if it means destroying those who once embraced them. And now, that hatred is more potent and destructive than ever before, so much so that it’s no wonder Toriel was able to feel it when she endured that fatal blow after the Geno Run began.
Do you think witnessing what soullessness did to sweet little Asriel wasn’t already terrifying and tragic enough? Just try to imagine what it could‘ve done to a vengeful, traumatized, chocolate-addicted problem child so consumed by hatred that they poisoned themselves just for a chance to wipe out their own kind. All of that hatred of humanity is still alive and well, and now it has no humanity to hold it back.
And what could be a more fitting target for a MISANTHROPE that calls themselves a DEMON… than a HUMAN that wants to play GOD?
After all, the only thing demons love more than tormenting mortals is warring with Gods.

Why else do you think that Chara winks right at you if we make Frisk stay with Toriel? Because that’s who the Soulless Ending was meant for. It’s when they’re finally able to unleash all that animosity and hatred that’s been lurking behind that smile ever since we killed everyone in the Ruins. It’s the moment that they’ve been patiently waiting for because they knew that’s when it would hit you the hardest.
And what makes the Soulless Pacifist Ending very special compared to other “bad endings” isn’t simply because they destroy those we pretend to care about (may I remind you that you did do the genocide run, after all). But they destroy something much more valuable to us as the players: OUR OMNIPOTENCE. Chara doesn’t destroy people for the sake of destroying them. But because in doing so they destroy our arrogant belief that nothing could possibly challenge the invisibility and invulnerability we players take for granted.
It's all too human that those with the most power are the least willing to lose it (or even take responsibility for it). And in a world where we should have absolute power, we thought there would be no consequences for abusing it. So what could be a more fitting and frightful punishment than having to actually face them? Missing out on the best ending in a video game is one thing. But to forever lose the power to achieve it ever again?! Now that’s terrifying!
Throughout myth, legend, and religion, sinners are often punished in a way befitting of the sin they’ve committed. In Greek Mythology, Tantalus was damned for trying to feed the Gods the flesh of his murdered son with eternal hunger and thirst despite being within arm’s reach of water and food. In Dante’s Inferno, those who succumb to wrath are forever doomed to fight each other in a river of mud. And since Undertale is no stranger to concepts such as hell, sins, and demons, you can damn well be sure that there’s going to be damnation fitting for the sins that drove you to complete the genocide run.
You completed the Genocide Run because you believed ending their lives would be fulfilling. Now, you can no longer get any fulfillment out of saving their lives.
I mean, where else can you get your precious fulfillment? Those paltry neutral endings? They only offer a fraction of what the pacifist ending offered. And the genocide ending has been drained of its satisfaction like the pacifist! Would you do all that tedious grinding and brutal boss fights just to hear your so-called “partner” lecture you again on perverted sentimentality and say you should choose another path, even though there’s nothing that they could offer? Of course not. In the end, you’re just like poor Tantalus agonizing in the pits of Tartarus, feeling the water vanish from his hands just before it touches his lips.
The ultimate triumph of Chara isn’t making you suffer a total defeat, but perhaps something much worse to you as a gamer: a pyrrhic victory. It’s like having a Twinkie that's been drained of the creamy center. Everything is still there except the thing you treasure most. You’re damned to play a challenge forever deprived of any and all fulfillment you once got from it, a satisfying journey that will always be doomed to reach a dissatisfying destination.
In the end, Chara leaves you with the world exactly as they described it the first time they met you face-to-face: POINTLESS.
You can have the world exactly as it was before (and the people within it). But in the end, Chara will always have the last laugh.
Figuratively and literally.
Welcome to hell!

Part 4: Why Consequences Matter
Woooooo!!! Man, that was quite the read, wasn’t it? And yeah, I wasn't kidding when I said this is going to be autistic as all hell! I don’t doubt you have a lot of thoughts in your mind, and then you’re gonna share them by the time you’re finished reading this post. Some of you might think this is the Chara theory to end Chara theories. Some of you believe that this is the worst thing that has happened to this fandom since Sebastian Wolff. Some of y’all, I’m whitewashing them because I argue they’re driven by a desire to punish the wicked by any means necessary. Some will think I’m demonizing them because I say that they’re, well, a demon.
[SIDE NOTE: Just so I don’t miscommunicate what I believe about Chara’s morality, here are some key points to take away from this theory. A) Chara sought to make you pay for the evil you committed. In fact, the idea that the Soulless Ending is Chara punishing our sins has been around for a while, especially by those who think Chara was “corrupted. B) However, in this theory, Chara's actions are all done with the intent of accomplishing that goal. This means that Chara was aware of what they were doing, they wanted to do it, and that THEY KNEW IT WAS EVIL. C) But you still have to remember that Chara is also A LITERAL CHILD. And D) They’re a child who endured a great deal of hardship (and possibly trauma), which made them so embittered and vengeful. Also, E) Remember that they’re also soulless, just like Asriel when he was Flowey.]
But I think most of you were gonna look at this interpretation of Chara and feel the same thing that I have about most of yours: a take that’s not without issues, but not without a fair bit of interesting points.
But regardless of what you think of this theory overall, there’s one thing I won’t leave up for debate: I deeply treasure Chara’s character. Not just because I think they’re fun, cool, or interesting but also because I firmly believe they’re invaluable Undertale. And yet, at the same time, I think they’re severely undervalued by the fandom. And who can blame them?
The characters of Undertale speak very little of Chara, and Chara speaks for themselves even less. But just like Johan Liebert from the anime Monster, even though they’re not seen too often, they still manage to exert a massive presence and impact within Undertale’s narrative. And that presence is made all the more impactful because they perfectly represent the themes of the narrative: and that theme is CONSEQUENCES, or more accurately, the CONSEQUENCES OF VIOLENCE.
From the violence that drove Chara to climb Mt Ebott to the violence their brother Asriel inflicted in hopes of being with them forever. From something as grand as a war between two civilizations to something as small as dismembering a snowman. Everywhere you look, you will see that violence (and its repercussions) haunts the story and characters of Undertale. But what makes Undertale stand out from other media that tackles this subject is that it’s not just an integral part of its narrative but also its metanarrative. The most ingenious way it does this is by giving meaning to the actions/mechanics that we take for granted, specifically monster encounters.
Our Lord and Saviour Toby Fox said it best:
Because the monsters of Undetale are treated as something more than just enemies to be killed, there are going to be consequences for choosing to kill them away. Some argue that it goes too far in how it admonishes you for killing even a single monster, even to the point of being preachy (I’m looking at you, ScottFalco, but that’s a response for another day).
That argument is deeply flawed because it fails to account for the fact that without these ramifications, the game’s themes would be rendered null and void. The last thing that a game with a narrative centred around the consequences of violence can afford to do is afford you the luxury of avoiding them. And that principle especially applies if you dare to choose nothing BUT violence. //////If you were to bring them all back as if nothing happened, then your decision to commit genocide would be completely meaningless, which would totally disservice Undertale themes regarding violence. There needs to be consequences. LASTING CONSEQUENCES. Undertale can’t drive home its messages and them without lasting consequences. Undertale can’t deliver those consequences without Chara in the driver’s seat. And Chara’s character can only be at their most narratively cohesive and thematically impactful if seeking to make us suffer consequences was their intended destination.
Regardless of whatever detail about Chara you’re discussing or what side of the discussion you’re on, one thing is very clear: they’re absolutely essential to Undertale in the same way that Mephistopheles is essential to Faust, the Cenobites are essential to Hellraiser, and Kuybey is essential to Madoka Magica. And they’re the only ones with the means, motives, and deep-seated misanthropy to hold this whole damn game together.
Sans is right. We deserve to be burning in hell for what we did to those poor monsters. And I can't think of anyone more qualified to have us humans “burning in hell” than a self-proclaimed demon with a seething hatred of humanity.
And how fitting is it that the skeleton who judges our sins is followed by a human child who punishes us for them?
BUT HEY, THAT'S JUST A THEORY!
A CHARA THEORY!
THANKS FOR READING!
#chara#undertale#undertale 9th anniversary#deltarune#sans#chara dreemurr#asriel#flowey#frisk#toby fox#undertale theory#toriel#asriel dreemurr#chara undertale#sans undertale#utdr#safe utdr#undertale fandom#undertale asriel#ut chara#undertale anniversary#meta analysis#character analysis#actually autistic
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New Years Eve - George Clarke
Thank you to the lovely anon who requested this! I didn’t fully intend for this to be smutty, but it did take a slightly dirty turn. I made it a little more pg, though!
In which George and Y/n have been broken up for awhile, and the hands of fate, or a cheeky flatmate bring them back in each others arms.
Pairing: George X FemReader
Warnings: minor smut.
So the reader & George are broken up and the break up is still rather fresh but they've decided to continue being friends as it was mutual. The boys host a New Year's Eve party at their flat which the reader attends and somehow her & George end up getting back together maybe after some interference from their friends lol
I had never really been one for parties. Let alone a party full of drunk people where the biggest expectation is to go home with someone. Being a YouTuber, however brought on some interesting challenges with this. Content making, being the number one factor I had to face.
The choice was simple really, decline the invitation and miss out on being able to make stories, TikTok’s, and vlogs of the party, or go to the party, and probably have a great time, but at the risk of seeing someone hadn’t laid my eyes on in months.
Feeling rather risky, I had accepted the invitation to the boys New Years Eve party. The day had approached much faster than anticipated and I was now on my way through the all too familiar streets of London to a flat I had known like my own for over a year.
George and I had split amicably around two months ago, with neither of us really having the time to commit to a relationship. It was mutual, but it still hurt like a bitch to not only lose a boyfriend, but a best friend in one fell swoop.
I had secretly been hoping we could pick back up as friends, similar to how Chris and Shannon had done, but I unfortunately had been too terrified to even try and message him. No matter how badly I wanted to.
Making my way up the elevator, I purposely made sure to be fashionably late, hoping to slip in unnoticed and find myself a drink to gain some liquid confidence.
I knocked on the door, realizing it had been propped open so I could just let myself in.
“Darling you made it!” Becky shouted at me from across the room as I stepped into the crowd of people adorning the living room.
I hugged her, having some small talk before I made my way to the kitchen to pour myself a drink.
Stood there at the island was George with Chris, my breath hitched slightly at the sight of him. He had on a black knit sweater and corduroy trousers, with his newly long haircut sporting a few small curls that I found to be extremely flattering on him.
“Hey Y/n, how are you?” Chris asked pulling me in for a hug.
“I’m well thank you, how are you?” George took a sip of his drink, eyes never leaving mine over the rim of his glass.
“Yeah good thanks, glad you could make it. Pour yourself a drink and enjoy the night, I know I will!” He quickly rushed off to another group leaving George and I alone in the kitchen.
I looked to him, not knowing how to start a conversation with him.
“You look lovely” he started. I suddenly found myself tucking my arms around myself, feeling weirdly self conscious even though at one point George knew my body better than I did.
“Thank you, you do as well.. I like the…erm… new haircut” I stumbled over my words, and he smiled at me.
“Thank you, it’s not my usual but I figured I’d try it out.” We trailed off in a slightly awkward silence. I looked around nervously, deciding to finally get the drink I had came in here for. “See you around, I’m going to speak with Arthur,” George left the kitchen. I let out a sigh, cursing myself for being so damn awkward. I quickly backed a shot of vodka before I mixed up my drink, deciding it was probably the best night to get drunk if any.
The night progressed in a fun manner, random games and forfeits being played, shots taken, and drinks consumed by all.
The clock struck 11:50pm and I found myself getting nervous for midnight. I was not ready to be the only person in this large of a group not kissing someone. I knew it was inevitable, but it still didn’t feel like something I was ready for.
Pulled from my thoughts, Arthur Hill joined me in the living room looking out their window at the lovely view of London. “He hasn’t moved on, just so you know.” He sipped his drink.
“George?” I questioned, turning to face him.
He nodded. “I haven’t seen him so much as look at another girl. The photo I took of you two asleep on the train is still his phone background.” I stood there staring at him, a little dumbfounded.
“Why hasn’t he said anything to me about it?” I asked him. Figuring if anyone knew apart from George himself, it would be Arthur.
“He doesn’t want to bother you. He thinks you want to move on.” He said. We were then interrupted by none other than the man we were talking about.
“What’s going on over here?” From knowing George so well, I could tell he was now feeling the effects of the alcohol he had.
“Just checking on our dear Y/n over here. She looked a bit lonely, figured I’d offer her up a New Years kiss if she fancied.” My head shot around to meet Arthur’s.
In the time we were together, I found George to be a very loyal boyfriend, which obviously came with some jealous tendencies. These tended to arise when his mates would playfully flirt with me. Arthur knew that all too well, and it was evident on both his face, and George’s, that his plan had worked.
“I don’t know about that one Arthur, think I’d rather kiss myself in the mirror love.” I retorted, causing a small chuckle from the singer.
“Well, that’s me gone then, countdown is about to begin. Gotta go find someone who does want to kiss this pretty face,” he left, leaving George and I stood by the window alone. Everyone else had found themselves a partner. Nervous was the understatement of the year, thank god that one was almost over.
“Ten!” Butterflies grew in my stomach as I looked around the room.
“Nine!” I took a deep breath.
“Eight!” George brought himself closer to me, and I could feel the warmth radiating from his body.
“Seven!” Fuck. This was about to be the weirdest thirty seconds of my life.
“Six!” Is George feeling any of these nerves?
“Five!” - “remind me again why we broke up?” George asked.
“Four!” I stared at him.
“Three!” - “I don’t know anymore.” I whispered.
“Two!” - “let’s give this a go then?”
“One!” - “fuck it.”
George and I leaned in, lips meeting in the middle as everyone around us either kissed their partners or screamed “Happy New Year!”
I had forgotten completely how intoxicating it was to kiss George. His lips moved with mine in perfect rhythm, and his hands held me in a way that made me never want to leave his arms.
“Get it Georgie!” I heard screamed from the group of boys across the room, recognizing Bach’s voice as the instigator of that comment.
“Fucking twats always know how to ruin a good moment don’t they?” George commented, forehead still resting on mine. I laughed, breathing heavily as my hands rested on his chest.
“Talk in your room?” I asked him. He nodded, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the back hall where their bedrooms were.
I looked around the dimly lit room, finding comfort in the four walls. Nothing had changed in the few months since I had been here last.
I kicked off my shoes, and my jacket, sitting in his bed crossing my legs together and looking at him. “I missed you.” I blurted out of the blue.
“I missed you too. I don’t know why I couldn’t just make the time you needed. I didn’t know what I would be losing by giving up that easily.” We were sharing such a vulnerable moment together.
“I think in the moment, it was just easier to say let’s move on than try and make the time work. It was equal fault here, let’s be honest.” We agreed with each other.
“I want to make time for us again.” He whispered, reaching out to rest his hand on my knee. I placed my hand over his, smiling up at him.
“Me too.” I scooted in closer, wrapping my arms around his neck and placing my legs on either side of his, sitting down on his lap. I kissed him again, this time with more feeling.
His hands instinctively found their way to my hips, pulling me impossibly closer to him.
“This is a good start.” He smirked at me, beginning to tug my shirt off of my torso.
“I couldn’t agree more.” I said pulling at the bottom of his sweater. I always forget how fit he is until the clothes are off. His toned arms in full display in front of me. I had to admit, I was a sucker for toned arms.
He grabbed me by the legs, flipping me over and hovering above me, placing himself between my hips.
“Let me show you how much I’ve missed you.” He said, unbuttoning and pulling down my jeans, leaving me nearly fully exposed in front of him. Unlike earlier, I didn’t find myself nervous. I was confident. This was my George, and I knew he would take care of me.
He began to remove the remainder of his clothing, and I followed suit. This didn’t seem like the night either of us were keen on intense foreplay. This was the rekindling of our relationship.
He leaned down to kiss me again, and I felt goosebumps forming as his hands touched my skin. He was telling me with his body that he needed me, that he wanted me.
I gasped as he pressed himself towards my entrance, my body naturally arching up to meet him there, knowing exactly what I wanted.
He pushed into me gently and I felt my head falling back in pleasure. He let out soft moans as he continued the motions of his hips, rocking back and forth in a rhythm that we had once been so accustomed to.
I had never experienced such passion in sex before George. Before this moment specifically. He knew me and my body so well it was almost electric the way we moved together. He kissed me gently as his thrusts grew more erratic, signaling he was close.
His hand reached between us, his killed fingers finding my most sensitive area and working his magic, helping me find my way to my release nearing the same time as him.
“George.” I whispered into his neck, holding onto his back with my hands.
“Come on darling,” he said, lips attaching to the sensitive skin under my ear.
I felt my release wash over me, a white hot burning pleasure that coursed through my body.
George pulled out, his hand quickly giving himself the last few pumps to send him spilling over the edge.
We laid there together, sweaty, and out of breath. George stood up to grab a wet washcloth, running it over my stomach to clean me after the nights events.
“Shower?” He propositioned. I looked over at the clock, seeing it read 12:45. I didn’t realize how long we had been here.
“Might as well, are you okay if I spend the night?” I asked him.
He laughed, pulling me closer to him in a hug. “I would honestly be offended if you didn’t.” I laughed with him, cupping his jaw as I kissed him again.
#wroetominterimagines#george clarke#george clarkey#george clarke fics#george clarke fluff#george clarkeey#arthurtv#arthur hill#chrismd
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Something interesting about archaeology is that it’s actually not that interesting: even when you’re on a dig, most of it is dirt and logistics and fragments.
Something scary about ghosts is that they’re actually not that frightening: even when you have a haunting, most of it is ectoplasm and low-key longing and echoes.
The fascinating bit about both is that, sometimes, when you piece all the boring bits together, you get a story; a story of how people used to live. It will probably be a story about something mundane, like how people cooked or what their bathroom solutions were.
For example: at this particular dig, we found fragments of large cooking pots in a few larger buildings. The smaller buildings that seemed to be individual homes did not have *any* surviving cooking pots (not even any copper remnants); however, they did have at least one well preserved earthenware bowl inscribed with runes.
These runes turned out to be a close match to an early rune of co-locating folk magic, seen primarily in the Katabasic region. The bowl was also adorned with a slate inlay, of a kind that was often used to write upon in chalk.
The apparent conclusion? This settlement operated a communal cooking operation that delivered food to order. We would assume the recipient would write their request in chalk on the slate inlay of their bowl, and the runes would briefly trick reality into thinking the inside of the bowl and the inside of the pot occupied the same space. Thus, the bowl would magically fill with food.
So, yeah. These folks had invented magical Doordash.
I briefly considered trying to replicate their system on my travel mug. The coffee on the dig site was *dreadful*, so I figured I could have my husband make some nice single origin cold brew back home (or maybe a nice pot of darjeeling second flush?) and teleport it in. But as it was likely tied to local hospitality folk magic, this would likely run across three problems: 1. Range limitations. 2. It may only work for community members. 3. Folk magic sometimes used local deities or spirits as intermediaries and popping a new request in the inbox of a dormant god was usually a bad call.
Oh, and reason number 4: the bowl we’d excavated was extremely haunted.
This may, in fact, explain why it was so well preserved. Theurgic suffusation is the term - if the spirit is clinging tightly enough to the atoms of the object, then time starts to think the material is just as undying as the soul.
You know how I mentioned the scary thing about ghosts is that they’re not scary? They only persist as fully ensouled beings as long as their unfinished business can feasibly *be finished*. Even with generation blood debts, they still tend to become unviable with a couple of centuries. Then the soul slowly starts to move on, leaving only an imprint on the umbra. That’s what’s scary about ghosts: even that which is undying will be eaten by history.
Except this blighter apparently.
So I ran a chemical analysis on the trace molecules left on the lining of the bowl. Then I ran the runes through a penumbral simulation matrix.
The bowl contained traces of calcified aconite. The runes showed an exploit in the magic; the teleportation could be hijacked by holy petition or speculative conjuration.
The ghost had been poisoned. Murdered.
And if they were still a ghost, then whoever killed them was *still around*.
I really really hope that I never meet whatever person or creature is apparently still alive close to a millennia after they murdering someone in a way that is both *really clever* and *really nasty*.
But oh buddy, oh pal … what I want may be immaterial. For surely do intend to figure out the whole of this story.
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With thanks to Ellie for the submission of the Archaeologist (fearless, frightened, fancy) to the Character of the Month club.
Want to submit your own characters for my stories? Consider supporting me on Ko-Fi with a recurring donation https://ko-fi.com/strangelittlestories
#writing#microfiction#flash fiction#short story#writeblr#wtwcommunity#character of the month club#urban fantasy crime story
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Ask Masterpost 1/25/2025
I will be answering the BLOG RELATED asks that I have received since opening my inbox. Lucky number three this finally becomes consistent :).
I would like to state here that even though I don't respond to them (I'm persnickety about keeping ask spam low) I very much appreciate everyone's well wishes and compliments and gratefulness for this blog. I screenshot all of them and keep them in a folder. Thank you so much and I hope you keep having fun :).
@forrest-knight asked: Hello! I am here to ask for some clarification regarding the rules: “Songs from multimedia series that are primarily NOT video games (such as the Homestuck minigames, for example) will not be accepted.” I’m a bit confused with this rule, does this mean we’re not allowed to submit songs from licensed video games (aka games made for non video game media), even if the song is originally made for the game (ex. To The Moon from the DuckTales NES game). Or does this rule is intended for something completely different? *please note that I’ve never read homestuck, so this might relate to my confusion Anyways, thank you so much for doing this! And I hope you have a great whatever time you are reading this!
SO Homestuck was the only example I could think of at the time as a series that actually did this. I was specifically thinking about franchises/series/works that 100% did not start off intending to be a video game but, in the nature of being a multimedia series, added video game minigames or mobile games as it developed.
This is referring to things like homestuck (a webcomic that featured small browser/flash games within the comic), many idol gacha games** (hypnosis mic, love live), etc. This does not include series that were 'completed' (loosely used since I know many of these frequently get universe-expanding sequels and threequels and whathaveyou) and then had video game spinoffs, such as Star Wars, Marvel, etc.
** exceptions being tracks that are exclusively used in the video game itself, such as BGM.
I know this rule is probably the most complicated one and I'm still trying to figure out how to word it clearly and precisely LMAO. Fundamentally it comes down to intent, which is why I'm still on the fence some things like tracks used exclusively in promotional materials and things like that.
That being said: if the song is originally from a video game as in literally you can hear it while you are playing the video game you are totally in the clear
And according to your second ask (I won't name the songs in case you want to submit them): The one made for and coming from the NES game is fine (of course), AND the one that is the 8-bit version of the NON-VGM one is ALSO FINE, because it was REMIXED for the NES game :).
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**NUMEROUS QUESTIONS ABOUT PUTTING DISCLAIMERS ASKING PEOPLE NOT TO SPOIL THE SONGS**
The blind listening and polling period is just for fun! If someone really likes a song and wants to know what it is/where it's from, PLEASE feel free to tell them!!! And PLEASE always enter the notes with the expectation that there may be song spoilers!!
I will ask that you keep it in the TAGS rather than the comments or reblogs (you're more than welcome to DM people the title if they ask), just for the sake of people who might want to discuss the song without spoilers. I'll put that in the pinned and the (eventual...) formal rules.
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What's up! New here so sorry if this has been asked before but has the exact same song been submitted more than once before? Like it's clearly different people but the same song keeps getting submitted over and over again?
Ever since Mod Rae cleared duplicates I have no idea anymore, BUT I know there have been a lot of different submissions for a few select Disco Elysium songs. That doesn't shock me because I know it's got a cult following here :).
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do you get a lot of the same people in ur notes or is it like. a few of the same and then it branches out to fandoms where people know the song? or do u not pay attn to your notes at all (also fair)
I do read the notes (when I remember)! I really like hearing people's opinions, and I always look through the tags on songs I know (I find it really hilarious seeing 'is this dark souls?' 'is this nier?' on any orchestral ever). There are a lot of familiar faces but I'd say the majority for any given poll are new or sparsely in the notes :).
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Would you ever consider adding two more "i dont feel strongly/have an opinion" options to the polls? Specifically, "it sounds familiar and i dont have an opinion" and "ive def heard it before and dont feel strongly/have an opinion"? Of course, if theres a specific reason why you dont add those two as options, feel free to ignore this, ty <3
I've considered this -- but honestly, that button has always existed as more of a 'I just want to click a button' option than an actual datapoint I'm looking for (I think I might have answered an ask similar to this before but I don't remember so I'm answering it again LOL). When that option dominates, I always read the notes and tags for discussion and I'd encourage anyone who is genuinely interested to do the same. Actual complex opinions, of course, cannot be captured with the limitations of preset poll options anyways LMFAO.
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@mkcannothelpyou asked: I'm beginning to wonder if spacing series severely further apart and prioritising picks further down the queue that aren't as represented would make for a more interesting order - as it is, it feels like you can more or less still track what people submitted and when, with waves of series (and closely related works within those series, at that) coming in conspicuously densely. Hearing the same style only days apart might impact poll results for the negative as time goes on.
This was mostly the fault of me allowing people to submit multiple songs at once, leading to songs with similar qualities (as they are all liked by one person with a particular taste) being grouped together, even if they're from different series. I limit submissions to one per period now so this will not be a problem in the future :').
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@the-mayor-of-space asked: how long do submissions typically stay open once they are open?
I originally wanted to have them permanently opened (thinking people wouldn't mind waiting for their submissions) until I got an insane amount of submissions, severely underestimating the popularity of this blog. I then tried to do a 24 hr submission period, and then a 12 hr submission period, but both of these still ended up with a fuck ton of submissions so the current answer is 'They're closed until I can figure out something proper'...
I don't want purging the existing submissions to be on the table, but if I get to the 1 year anniversary of this blog without a better option I might have to go that route -- in which case I'd probably publish all the unposted options so people know if theirs was cut so they know to resubmit it if they're still interested.
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**NUMEROUS QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW FAR BACK THE SUBMISSIONS ARE**
WE'RE FINALLY IN AUGUST!!!!!!!!
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are fan/non official/non licensed versions of songs allowed? because i am 100% certain #293 is a fan made remaster and medley arrangement (im not the submitter but i know the song well - i found the youtube video the audio is from and the comments from OP confirm it is a fan remix). if they are, that's totally cool, but i couldn't find anything in the submission rules about it. i dont intend this ask to be rude or hostile at all, and either way im grateful you've created such an active community with this blog!
They're not really allowed unless they're from a mod or fangame. Since it's a fanmade remaster it's kind of towing the line, so I'm not inherently against it, but it might end up just being a highly situational thing.
Note: I'm not familiar with Fire Emblem at ALL but I knew this particular song was from an older game, which is why I wasn't opposed to posting the remastered version. In any future submissions I'd appreciate if this sort of thing were indicated just in case! I will add that to the submission guidelines :). And of course if there's a better way to go about this (i.e if the game is like, 30+ years old fanmade remasters/upscales are permitted or something like that) I will make sure that's made clear as well :).
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sorry if you've answered this before but I was just wondering, are people allowed to submit spoiler songs for the polls? like final boss songs and songs from endings and secret endings
Absolutely! But I think for all future submissions (this doesn't apply now since there's a huge backlog) I might put a hold on the submissions of OSTS from new games for like 1-2 months (i.e No Mario Kart 9 OSTs until two months after the game drops!) so people who are playing/going to play the game have time to play it before hearing the OSTs unprompted.
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@its-daisukenojobito asked: Just out of curiosity, do you prefer the more obscure submissions, or more well known? I feel like for the sake of reach, the more well known the better, but as a participant, i love being able to hear something I wasn't expecting, and knowing it!
I have no preference, but it's always fun hearing good stuff from games and series I've literally never heard of!
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@venonomnomicon asked: am i allowed to DM to check the status of a submission? it was a couple of months ago though i do respect it's probably just deep in the queue as you get hundreds of submissions a month lol
Absolutely, but you'll have to DM my main blog (@himejoshi) because apparently tumblr doesn't let you have DMs when you have more than one blog admin.
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@royvalentine asked: is the form supposed to be only submittable once?
Yes, so people would only submit one song per submission period. I intended to make a new form for every submission period... There just hasn't been one since.
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hi question, do pinball tables count as video games?
I don't think I have enough experience to answer this question... What do y'all think????
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Some things in BioWare's transcript of the August 30th dev Discord Q&A are a lil different to what was actually said in the Q&A. not only editing to tidy up and be concise etc; some of it seems to actually be new/additional (or updated?) information. this post is just a quick summary of the new or different things I noticed when comparing the BioWare transcript to a word-for-word transcript (or at least the ones that stood out to me anyways). DA:TV spoilers under cut.
This post is a mix of new snippets and rephrased answers to things that were rephrased in a way that stuck out to me or interested me. nb, it doesn't highlight changes if the change was something not being included in the BioWare transcript (there was some of that too).
John Epler: "I don't know if any of [the Evanuris] consider [tea] a favorite beverage"
[re: hugging Assan] Assan "always appreciates the attention. He's got a sharp beak and he'd let you know if he didn't."
Variation of the WEWH question answer:
"There's always going to be politics to some degree - there are a number of different groups with different priorities, and not all of them are going to be immediately disposed towards trusting you. But while the Inquisitor had an organization and an army (and even Hawke and the Hero of Ferelden spent more time moving in political circles), Rook's situation is a little more desperate and immediate. Their approach is therefore a little more direct, and so while they may occasionally find themselves in the political sphere, they're not trying to assemble an army or build consensus amongst nation states."
[on companions' ages] The part of this where they described the companions' age range has been changed from where it said "early-mid twenties" to just say "mid twenties". Also, Taash was said to be "early twenties"; she is now simply "the youngest".
New sentence on the ages: "We don't usually nail down a specific age, unless it's something that comes up in their content, but we want to have an idea as to their general age range as we're writing them."
If no side characters stand out as a good candidate for a 'light' romance, this is never something they want to force
Griffons as half-bird half-lion - it now reads half-eagle half-lion
"Thedas has always been filled with extraordinary people, and in DATV you're trying to save the world. It stands to reason that the people you're bringing on board are going to be people with extraordinary circumstances of their own."
On the Veil not being in great shape and having been deteriorating in recent times/the intervening period between games, a more specific figure is given: "things in general have been slowly getting worse over the past decade and a half"
Lucanis and Bellara find out they have a lot in common and develop a "really fun" friendship, even though "it's hard to think of two companions who feel more different on the surface"
Neve and Bellara's friendship "kind of evolved organically as we were writing them, and finding out all the opportunities we could to throw little tastes of it into dialogue was a blast"
when enemies are slowed due to Slow Time, Rook stays moving at full speed
Rook's weapons and companions' gear can also be transmogged in addition to Rook's armor gear and casualwear
New sentence: "I've built Harding as a Support Character one run, and a DPS the next run. If you want to use Davrin as a DPS, you can do that."
"But each Companion has a gift that you can purchase from vendors in the world, and then give it to them." - it sounds like there is only one unique gift that you can give to the companions each?
"In general, something like a short story anthology is a volunteer thing - we ask people what they want to write and, generally, people tend to gravitate towards character ideas and concepts they already had in mind for a companion."
"So it's rare that we write a character that isn't intended to be a companion and then think 'oh wow this character would be a great fit', but it's not unheard of either."
"Ultimately we wanted to be sure that The Veilguard could be a good entry point to Dragon Age for new players and people who know almost nothing about the universe. But if you're the kind of player who wants to catch the most references, I'd suggest reading The Missing (most recent comic series) and Tevinter Nights. The former is a direct narrative setup for the beginning of the game" while Tevinter Nights is "less of a direct narrative tie", though it introduces "characters, concepts and story elements" that show up in the game
New sentence and info: [John Epler] "The Archon's Palace floating was something we came up with midway through writing Tevinter Nights and I had to furiously rewrite a few things." - the Floating Building is the Archon's Palace?
"Mae is a character that means a lot to so many DA fans" (<3)
Crow politics are now described as "complex" as well as deadly
"Some romances allow you to express interest without 'committing'" - so it sounds like not all of them allow this? - "but all romances eventually end up being exclusive"
"With each specialization we wanted to explore, both visually and through gameplay, what a specific class member of that faction might look like. Spellblade, for example, is our answer to the question 'what does a mage assassin look like'."
Our ability to save PCs so we don't have to start from scratch in CC each time was very important to the devs
"the feeling we want to evoke over the course of the game is one of growth, both in yourself as Rook and in your companions as they overcome their own problems with your help. These problems are often external in nature, but they are always tied, at their core, to the conflict that the character carries within them. And they are, also, always uniquely Dragon Age problems on the surface, but still relatable."
The difference in the answer to the is Lucanis possessed question interested me.
Original for the sake of comparison:
"So, again, spoilers, everyone has been warned, fairly warned. So Lucanis Dellamorte is also known as The Demon of Vyrantium. And, he has spent a lot of time killing Venatori, who are mages, and who do know a lot about demons, so. Yeah, somebody decided that it might be a good idea to make that nickname stick."
New:
"There's definitely something going on with Lucanis - and before you hired him, he was known as the Demon of Vyrantium. Might be that someone took offense to that nickname, especially since he earned it by killing Venatori."
New sentence in the answer to the is Thedas a southern continent question:
"Of course, nothing says that distance to the sun is the only factor impacting weather."
.. [probably reading too much into this don't look at me ik many factors influence weather irl hhh] magic? the Veil? the deteriorating Veil? the risen Gods? the Blight? Thedas is experiencing global warming? :D
"As part of our attempt to make the companions feel like they have their own lives outside of just Rook, we asked ourselves what pairings made the most narrative sense and then talked about how they might actually unfold in the game. And even before companions get together, you can see that interest starts to develop. Which is, I think, one of my favorite things about the companions. They don't just fall in love with each other, they become friends, confidents, and even rivals at times"
It takes Davrin a while to trust others. He can be a little standoffish, but eventually he warms up to anyone who shows that they have his back
As a monster hunter a lot of Davrin's hobbies revolve around that
"a lot of elves go around shoeless, and that's in part because they believe it brings them closer to nature. What better way to understand what the world and ground are saying than to walk directly on it? but not every Dalish follows this custom" [...] "The Veil Jumpers, in general, are a little more likely to wear boots and shoes, as they're far more likely to end up in dangerous places and fighting unsettling creatures than the average Dalish"
On Bellara's boots: "you never know when you're going to find a broken artifact with a lot of sharp edges."
Bellara is a big fan of pan-frying anything she can (re: food)
Lucanis has the refined palate of an Antivan Crow
Getting the beards to work with all the armor variations that they have was especially challenging with dwarves because they "tend to be" shorter
Those beards that were designed with dwarves in mind can alsobe used for humans and qunari (I wonder then if elves cannot have beards in CC? Like I know they usually don't have them or have it in CC and that lore says they don't but there are a also a few lorebreaking instances of it and I wasn't sure which way this one would go given how 'free choice/options for all' the CC in this game has sounded like it has been designed to be)
"You'll see more on this as we showcase character creator in our runup to launch"
For this question "Since you can choose to be a part of the same faction for most of the companions, will that give you an advantage when trying to befriend them?", the answer now reads that in addition to the unique dialogue same-background Rooks have with the companion of that background, it can also "change the timbre of your relationship a little bit"
John Epler: "one of my favorite things about this group of companions is how much time they spend with each other"
[on the companions] "They're a family, and like a family, they don't always get along"
"A lot of Solas' relationship with the player is personal. He sees a lot of himself in Rook - both the good and the bad - and largely talks only to you, as you're the one he has a connection with."
"Not to mention at least a couple of followers who would likely love to ask an ancient Elven god some questions."
"a common complaint we've heard in past games is that many players disliked always feeling like they needed a Rogue to be able to lockpick, so fortunately Rook finds a method to use these exploration abilities even when the associated Companion is not in your party"
An example of a companion's unique exploration ability is that Emmrich has an ability to briefly reanimate skeletons to open gates
Qunari not wearing helmets and only vitaar allows more flexibility when it comes to horns customization in CC
"yes - there will be some pretty obvious Act breaks. Not all content fits neatly into these buckets, as it's more a way of breaking up the critical path (companion and other side content follows a different cadence), but there are some pretty obvious Acts built into our game. A lot of the missions, though, we want to make sure players have the freedom to decide what they do and when they do it, so while they may have internal acts (follower missions form their own arcs), they don't conform to the overall main quest arcs"
The difference in the answer to the is Assan the only griffon question confirms that Assan was specifically one of the baby griffons that hatched at the end of Last Flight. (as opposed to another clutch that was laid in the last decade)
Old:
"So, again, just to be clear, spoilers, but yeah, Assan has brothers and sisters, so Assan is not the only griffon that shows up in Dragon Age The Veilguard."
New:
"If you read Last Flight, you'll know that Assan isn't the only griffon from that clutch of eggs, so he's got brothers and sisters. And if one griffon is good, a whole family of them is better, right?"
"We briefly experimented with other options for last names but it became unwieldy as we do refer to your Rook by their last name on several occasions, and accounting for 6 potential last names is already a lot of complexity."
Variation of the 'what goes into bringing back old characters' question answer:
"We always - both for Morrigan and any other characters we bring back - think about what they would've been up to since the last time anyone saw them. These characters should feel like real people, and the last thing we want to imply is that their stories stalled out while they weren't directly in the player's adventuring party. So we look at their arc before the time skip, and then think about where that arc would've taken them. In the case of Morrigan, she's coming to terms with a lot of truths about herself and about her mother. There are elements of her past that she's come to terms with, which is why she wears a version of Flemeth's crown. Ultimately you want the world to feel like it's real. And no one's the same person today that they were 10 years ago. That's stagnation, and it's bad in fictional characters as it is in real people."
The orb part of orb and dagger is called an Elemental Orb
Variation on the Dalish Elf vs City Elf question answer:
"While I think 'city elf' vs 'Dalish elf' is a useful distinction in the South, there's a lot more nuance in the North. Rivain, for example, has Dalish settlements intertwined with other cities. There's just not the same separation, so each of the factions has a unique approach to your lineage. You can define some of that further with choices you make in conversations - we really wanted to leave a lot of that open to players to RP."
[localization question answer variation] "Games are so complex and have so many moving pieces that you need to be in regular communication or things get missed. And a lot of that is because ultimately localization is more than just a straightforward translation. Jokes, metaphors, sayings - even specific lore terms - aren't just a matter of finding the equivalent word in another language. Every writer has a story about a time they had to explain the specifics of an off-color joke they wrote so that localization could properly capture the intent."
So mostly variations (as in rephrasing) and things, but some of the new info that particularly stood out to me was things like the description of Emmrich's exploration ability, the mention that the Floating Building is the Archon's Palace (iirc this was speculated before but not confirmed?), the new lil details or insights on Assan and Davrin, the bit about Assan being from the Last Flight eggs, etc.
#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#<- this is my spoiler tag#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4#dragon age#bioware#video games#long post#longpost#dragon age: tevinter nights#dragon age: the missing#solas#morrigan#queen of my heart#this post is scrappy sry i wrote it on the other side of the world at 4am
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Hi hi!! Hope you’re doing well, I love your writing! I was wondering if you could do some hc on how ran, Rindou, sanzu, Baji, and Kazutora would react if they had a crush on a shy girl, so they always stare at her, but she thinks they’re glaring and gets scared?
Ok! Here are some hc's on them staring at a shy girl and accidentally scaring her because she thinks they're glaring. Put the timelines next to the names, also tw for kidnap on Sanzu's.



Ran (good timeline)
He really wasn't expecting to ever get caught staring at you, so the first time you suddenly turned and your eyes met his, he was caught off guard. He quickly recovered giving you a lazy smile though, and so the same thing continued everytime you caught him. Ran thought he was being charming and playful.....he never figured the stares would come off differently or that you would see his smiles as something sinister.
He doesn't understand why you always seem in such a hurry to get away from him. Were you not interested in him? Or is this part of the game?
Eventually he manages to trap you, standing between you and the door, grinning at you like a cat who just caught the mouse. Slamming his hand on the wall, next to your head, he leans in, intending on finally flirting with you verbally.
Only for him to suddenly notice your scared expression and realise that he's scaring you
Immediately backs off with his hands in the air, trying to show you he means you no harm. Explains the situation to you and actually apologises for scaring you.
He's mainly just surprised and a little embarrassed that he didn't realise earlier.
Rindou (good timeline)
Doesn't even notice notice he was staring at you at first, he's liked you for the longest time now and his gaze is just always wandering over to you unintentionally. He daydreams a lot while looking at you.
Anytime you turn to peek at him and your eyes meet, he tends to look away just as quickly as you. He hasn't quite figured out how he wants to approach you yet.
Eventually, he tries to talk to you but gets confused by your expression and by how you seem to practically run away anytime he gets close.
Actually assumes it's because you know his reputation as one of the Haitani brother's instead of it being because of the staring. So he tries to lay low a bit gang wise but the staring still continues.
Until one day, when you try to run off he calls your name and catches your wrist. He explains that he knows you're scared of him but that he won't ever hurt you and that you don't have to be scared because of the gangs. You look at him with a confused look for a moment before asking "so you don't hate me?". Rindou is very confused and also embarrassed as you explain the staring thing.
Sanzu (Bonten, tw: kidnap)
He's aware that you're scared straight away but it doesn't bother him. He's always observing people so has gotten good with knowing their thoughts and emotions, and picks up on yours immediately.
Sanzu's a bit different to the others though, since he never plans on actually having a relationship with you. Sure he's interested but Mikey is his king and the only one he allows himself to spend time on, he has to be his number one priority. So there's no time for a relationship, you're just a passing fantasy so it doesn't matter what you think of him.
He was wrong though, months go by and he's still interested in you. You won't leave his head, the staring intensifies.
Eventually he gives up, guess he has no choice but to approach you. He can probably make it work between you and serving Mikey too anyway. Besides he's no good to Mikey or bonten when he's all distracted like this.
You're walking home alone and don't see him till it's too late, one second you're walking and the next you're being pulled into an unknown car and being injected with something. Sanzu strokes your hair as your head rests on his lap, you were right to be scared of him.
Baji (good timeline)
He's in complete denial that he's even staring at you, Chifuyu and Kazutora both pick up on it and question him but Baji always denies it, getting defensive about how he definitely wasn't staring at you.
He hates how quickly you always leave, always rushing out of the pet shop whenever you see him. He wants to see you for longer, so wishes you would browse more like the other customers. Especially after he finds out that you happily stay longer and even chat with Kazutora and Chifuyu when he's not there.
This goes on for months, Baji staring at you longingly anytime you came in and you seeing his frustrated look, assuming he's angry at you and leaving quickly with your purchases.
Of course Kazutora and Chifuyu are the ones who have to step in. Making up some excuse about both of them being sick one day, so Baji would have to cover the shop alone for them. Meaning you and Baji would have to interact at the till.
Baji watches you as you casually walk into the shop, only to freeze when your eyes lock with his. You gulp and glance around before realising he's the only one there today, your only choice for buying your items.
You had hoped he wouldn't say anything to you but instead Baji immediately asks if you have a problem with him. He was never one for subtly after all. "I thought you had a problem with me?" You both end up surprised and clearing the matter up. Baji does have to deal with Kazutora and Chifuyu's teasing after though.
Kazutora (bad toman timeline)
You were being harassed by toman the first time he saw you, so of course he jumped in, beating them up to protect you. Toman shouldn't be hurting random girls. After he'd finished he was about to walk away when he heard the quiet "thank you" and realised you were offering him some tissues for his own injuries from the fight. You ran off after that, before Kazutora could offer to walk you home or even just ask if you were ok.
He figured he'd never see you again but then he did, just by chance. After that the two of you bumped into each other often, with him always staring after you. He wanted to say thanks for the tissues and get to know you more, he wanted you. You seemed so sweet, no girl had ever stuck around after a fight and offered him something to help before.
You thought he was mad at you because he had to beat up those guys or maybe he expected some kind of payment for doing that? He definitely seemed to be glaring at you...
It didn't take long for him to sense how uncomfortable you were with him around. It hurt him a lot, he assumed you were scared of him because you saw what he did to those guys.
He backed off immediately, stopped going to the areas where you were. After all he had an important job to do with Chifuyu, no time for romance. But it still made his heart ache.
#tokyo revengers#tokrev#tokyo rev#rindou haitani#ran haitani#sanzu haruchiyo#baji keisuke#kazutora hanemiya#tokyo revengers spoilers
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𓍯 ִֶָ FEBRUARY NINTH; side b — secret love song - little mix | r. cameron x maybank!reader
w; intended to be s1 rafe — but also can be any season you’d prefer for this, this doesn’t follow any events of outer banks (just the characters and the pogues vs kooks thing), maybe a bit ooc!rafe? i’m not sure, slight mentions of john b & reader as well, cheating 😔, this is a bit short — not sure how i feel about this one </3 !! i always try to use few to no pronouns or descriptions for r — can be adopted or half sibling! whatever you'd prefer <3 an; love this song and i also thought of rafe and then bam it came to me.
mixtape here!
John Booker Routledge had been one of your favorite people ever since you had been younger — besides your brother.
The three of you attached by the hip, the three troublemakers you had been so lovingly called. And knowing him since you were all little tots, only to blossom into a young adult, it was only normal to develop a small crush that had JJ gagging every time he noticed where your eyes lingered.
And it was only normal for him to be your first kiss.
It was strange. Not that he wasn’t a decent kisser, it just felt…void of something. You weren't sure why it had felt that way, especially when you felt a small amount of jealousy whenever he tended to stray his attention away from you and to Sarah instead.
It was confusing as much as it was aggravating.
But, Rafe Cameron, the one person who had made everyone’s life worse just by looking at them with baby blues and a smug smirk, took you by complete surprise.
In the sense that when he kissed you, it never felt null of anything. Even after he had pulled away, you could still feel the phantom of his lips brushing over your own.
It also took you by complete surprise because you’re both supposed to keep a distance due to ‘image’ — something you’d always thought was ridiculous, but also never really breaking away from the hate you’re supposed to have for Kooks.
For Rafe Cameron.
But at the same time, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate him, or even show him an ounce of faux hatred even if you tried.
Midnight was your favorite time. Because exactly when the numbers turned to 12, there would be a small tap at your window. Because if he were to knock on the door at this time, Luke would have probably shot him, or JJ would have no problem throwing punches and taking them.
It was best to stay a secret, even if you hate it. And even if you want others to see the love you both have for one another.
The tapping catches your attention, a small smile tugging on your lips when you close your book and crawl off the bed and quietly make your way towards the window, pushing the sheer curtains back before unlocking the window and pushing it up.
Glancing back at the door to keep an eye out, you allow him to grip your arms as he slips inside your room as quietly as possible — he’s gotten better with sneaking in — before turning and closing your window slowly.
His hand is a bit cold when it wraps around the side of your neck, causing you to gasp and shiver as you look at him quickly. “Rafe!” You whisper sharply, trying to push at his arm. He smirks slightly, pulling you closer and pressing a small kiss to the corner of your lips. “Why are your hands so cold?” You mumble.
“It’s freezing outside, sweetheart. What do you expect?” He snorts quietly. You smile a bit, taking his hand from your neck, sandwiching it between both of your own the best you could. His eyes are soft as they watch you. “You coming tomorrow?”
“Hm?” You look up at him. “Oh, yeah. JJ wanted to go,” You shake your head slightly, reaching for the other one. “Figured he would anyway when he heard about it.”
Rafe nods a bit and pushes away a strand of your hair, tucking it behind your ear. “You wanna lie down?” You nod and pull him towards your bed, scooting close to the wall as he slides in after kicking off his shoes. You scoot up a bit, grabbing his arm and pulling him closer to you the best you could.
He hums and lies his head against your chest, ear placed over where you heartbeat, slipping his eyes closed and melting into the bed when your fingers begin to scratch against his scalp. His fingers rest against your side, twitching every so often.
It’s silent for a while, except for the beat of your heart, loud and comforting, in his ear. His eyes then slide open and he pulls his head away from your chest to stare down at you instead.
Your eyes are pointed upwards at the ceiling and he can tell by the small scrunch of your brows, you're worrying yourself sick over something. You flinch at the sudden touch of his fingertips running over the lines that had been between your brows.
“What’s wrong?” He whispers softly. You glance over at him and tug your bottom lip between your teeth as you think of what to say. Tracing his finger down the slope of your nose before pushing his fingers into the strands of your hair, he gives you a slight worried look.
“You can tell me whatever is on your mind, you know that, right?”
Nodding, you sigh quietly. “Is it always going to be like this?”
“Is what always going to be like this?”
“You and I. This. Us,” You say as if it’s obvious because, well, it is obvious. “Having only a short amount of time together, or having to…rush date night and act as if we’re with someone else,” You shake your head.
“It’s…I love you and I want to be able to love you freely — not privately and only a certain amount of time.”
He frowns and drops his forehead against yours gently, nudging your nose against his. “You know I love you, right?” Your eyes drift away from his. He frowns when he notices your eyes become wet with tears. “Right? Hey,”
Your eyes hesitantly drift back to his face. His thumb drags over your cheekbone softly. “I do love you. A lot,” He nods. “We’ll tell people. But now is not the right time.”
“When will it be the right time?” Your brows pinch together as you stare up at him.
His lips press into yours — a soft kiss, and a gentle hold with his hand — before pulling away slowly, his thumb pressing gently into your chin. “Soon.” He whispers against your lips.
Which is why, when you look for him everywhere (just for a quick, shared look), you're confused when you see him pressed close to some brunette.
Even more confused when they both laugh together and she presses a hand against his chest.
Now you’re frozen when he’s leaning in and kissing her — a bit too fiercely for a party in front of people. Your eyes and they drift down towards the coffee table in between the spread out teens.
There’s some substance on some type of gold tray with other various items around it on display. Your eyes quickly look back up, watching as he finally pulls away from her, smirking as he leans back and looks ahead.
His smug demeanor drops when he sees your face. Rafe is quick on his feet when you turn away from him, pushing past people to get outside and find JJ, John B, and Pope and leave.
You hear his voice calling out for you, anger thrumming through your bones. Once you step outside, Rafe is suddenly closer than you realize, his hand brushing your arm.
You turn and smack him before you could catch yourself. The sound catches the onlookers from outside, lifting some brows.
“Don’t you dare touch me, Rafe. I swear—”
“I-I’m sorry! I don’t know what—”
You cut him off with a crazed laugh, pushing him by his chest. He allows you to push him around. “You didn’t know that you were making out with someone else?! What, you thought it was me, huh? Is that your excuse!” Your brows are furrowed in anger, your cheeks flushed and wet with tears as you stare up at him.
He opens his mouth to speak, shaking his head, but someone is cutting in, calling out your name. “You okay?” John B.
“I want to go home,” You turn towards him. Rafe calls out your name, eyes wide and desperate. “JB, please. Take me home.” Your voice is raw and it eats away at Rafe’s heart. Because instead of you turning to him, you’re turning back to John B to comfort you.
All because he was an idiot.
John B glances at Rafe, a small look on his face has you stepping closer to him, shaking your head, glancing over your shoulder at him. “He’s not worth it,” Rafe’s jaw clenches as he stares at you. You look away and pass by John B, walking towards where he had parked.
JJ had gone somewhere with Pope, more than likely crashing at his place after. John B had decided to stay with you until you had calmed down, allowing you to talk and get everything off your chest.
He listened and never once judged you.
So, why is it when you kiss John Booker Routledge — again — you feel null of any emotion?
𓍯 ִֶָ tags; @ali-r3n — @marchsfreakshow — @sereneera — @dearestjune — @sstar-ggirl
𓍯 ִֶָ thank you for reading! comments, reblogs, & feedback are welcome & greatly appreciated!
#rafe cameron x maybank!reader#rafe cameron x fem!reader#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n
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