#and i mean this with my whole chest
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how come there's a thing that just happens to me every few weeks where i throw up a bunch and can't move and want more than anything to shed this mortal coil and i'm just expected to act normal and regular the whole time. like i know we say this often but what the entire fuck
#what#and i mean this with my whole chest#the fuck#like incredibly ill cant move cant think cant function#and it's not treated as such#TREAT IT AS SUCH#sorry this is incoherent i have been very sick this morning and havent slept in days#As You Can Probably Tell#periods#period tw#menstruation#menstruation cw#period cw#menstruation tw#personal ramblings#tw emetophobia#vomit mention#vomit tw#vomit cw
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unicorn
you can get a print here: inprnt
#izzy fursona with my whole chest#i dont care#hes a unicorn#ofmd#izzy hands#my art#izzy#ofmd s2#ofmd spoilers#our flag means death#ofmd fanart#ofmd season 2#our flag means fanart
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hope you feel better soon!
I am riddled with ailments, but I stay silly!
#ask#non mdzs#My health journey has been: Hernia -> acid reflux -> Vocal pain due to aforementioned reflux -> chest infection.#I'm terrified to know what's about to hit me next. Please let it be something kind. PLEASE.#The consequence of living with linguists is that you'll wake up with a wacked up voice -#suddenly you're sitting you down in front of a program called something like Praat having your shimmer and jitter levels calibrated.#They gave me a GRBAS of 33012. I have a fun thing called a pitch break where a whole octave just does not exist.#My vocal pain was bad enough I ended up seeing a speech pathologist and that whole experience was super neat!#I learnt a lot about voice - to be honest I might make a little comic on it after some more research. Fascinating stuff.#For example; your mental perception of our voice modulates the muscles of the vocal folds and larynx.#meaning that when you do have changes (inflammation = more mass = lower frequency)#your brain automatically attempts to correct it to what it 'should sound like'. Leading to a lot more vocal strain and damage!#And it gets really interesting for trans voice care as well - because the mental perception of one's voice isn't based on an existing sampl#So a good chunk of trans voice training is also done with the idea of finding one's voice and retraining the brain to accept it. Neat!#Parkinsonial Voice also has this perception to musculature link! The perception is that they are talking at a loud/normal volume#but the actual voice is quite breathy and weak. So vocal training works on practicing putting more effort into the voice#and retraining the brain to accept the 'loud' voice as 'normal'.#Isn't the human body fascinating?#Anyhow; Now I have vocal exercises and strategies to reduce strain and promote healing.#Which is a lot better than my previous strategy of yelling AAAH in my car until my 'voice smoothed out'.#You can imagine the horror on the speech path's face. I am an informed creature now.#I'm my own little lab rat now. I love learning and researching. Welcome to my tag lab. Class is dismissed.#I'll be back later with a few more answered asks </3 despite everything I'm still going to work and I need the extra sleep.#Thank you for the well wishes! And if you read all of that info dump; thank you for that as well!
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trans!soap taking his baby and running away from his rich abusive husband
(cw angst, financial abuse, single threat of child abuse, single mention of transphobia)
he's owned soap for years, since he was a teenager; paid for his medication and all his surgeries and tied them so deeply, soap’s lost hope of ever getting away. he gets even worse when soap falls pregnant. he was always controlling; blowing up at him if he spent too long out of the house or did something without telling him. but he becomes utterly possessive during the pregnancy
soap knows it has nothing to do with his safety or the baby's
he knows he sees his baby as an investment; another being he can control and hold over him
he gets worse and worse but there’s nothing soap can do. there's been nothing he can do for a long time. then a few months after the baby is born, soap doesn’t watch his tone closely enough and his husband threatens to drop his baby in punishment for it
soap doesn't think. he doesn't plan
he takes his baby and runs
he sneaks out of the servant's quarters of the sterile mansion he's been forced to live in for almost a decade and walks down the street without a backwards glance; his baby the only thing in his arms. he knows all of his husband's cars have trackers, all of them in his name since he never lets soap drive or go anywhere by himself, so he walks far enough to be out of view of the mansion's cameras and steals one. it doesn't have a car seat and all he can do is clutch his baby to his chest as he drives
he doesn't know where he's going beyond away
he doesn't know what he's going to do; he doesn't have any money, no supplies for his baby, he doesn't even have water for himself so he can reliably breastfeed him. he's terrified his husband will find them; he’s always felt omniscient, always everywhere and seeing everything he did. if he didn’t have eyes somewhere, he paid someone who did and they always dutifully reported back to him
soap just keeps his eyes forward. just keeps driving and driving, lost to the road and numb until the low gas light pops up on the dash and it all hits him at once
he turns into a gas station he can't pay for, in a car he stole, and parks behind it and his baby immediately starts getting fussy
he can't even call him by his name sometimes; too afraid to get attached, too afraid to lose him. as if he doesn’t love him more than life itself
even throughout his pregnancy, as happy as he was to finally have a baby, he didn't know if he could carry to term and that fear just let his husband dig his claws in even deeper; paying for extra scans he could never hope to pay for, favours on top of favours so he would aways owe him and isn’t he such a loving husband? taking soap in when his parents kicked him out for being trans, looking after him for all these years? you can’t even take care of yourself john, you’d still be a woman without me, john, what is this tantrum about john-
soap tugs his shirt up to let his baby feed, drops his head back and cries
he can't stop it; wails loud and uncontrolled, chest heaving with his sobs enough that it sways his baby, occasionally breaking his latch and he can't even do this right-
he can't save him
a light knock sounds on the window and soap flinches, curling over his baby to protect him from his huband's cruel hands
but it's not his husband outside the window
soap blinks tears from his eyes and looks at the large stranger standing beside the car. a neck gaiter covers his mouth and it should be off-putting… but something about him stops the feeling in its tracks. the stranger takes a half-step back and lifts a chilled and sealed water bottle, pressing it towards the window
soap quickly swipes his face clean and rolls down the window. "sorry 'bout that," he apologises with a choked laugh, the careful front he’s built over the years cracked and bleeding
the stranger gives a dismissive but somehow not diminishing shrug. "long day?" he asks
"could say that," he gives a shrug of his own and pats his baby's back as he makes a disgruntled noise, unconsciously swaying him
he politely keeps his gaze up on his face. "looks like you could use a break."
soap's breath hitches, anxiously darting his tongue out over his bottom lip. "could say that," he repeats uselessly and takes the water with a quiet “thanks,”; his throat dry and screaming for it after crying so hard
the stranger hums, watching him down the bottle and soap doesn’t notice his eyes drifting to the backseat and footwell of the passenger side. doesn’t notice the slight tension in his fists at what he sees. "how long you been runnin', lad?"
soap freezes, the water settling in his stomach like a stone. he swallows thickly and the bottle falls from his lips
"not long enough."
the stranger just nods, looking idly back down the highway
"you know, this place is connected to a garage,” he starts, nodding back to a building attached to the station without taking his eyes off the road. “lotta people drift through 'ere on road trips; too many to keep track.”
soap frowns slightly, shifting his hold on his baby
“funny thing is, plenty of 'em just abandon their car when they break down. like yours,” he adds and finally turns back to him with a pointed look. “got a whole junkyard of 'em. just rustin' away. be pretty easy to convince me to trade ya one."
soap’s mouth parts in a gasp as he realises just what the stranger’s saying. "how easy?" he whispers
he shrugs and even with his face hidden beneath the gaiter, he doesn’t feel afraid. "i'd say this car'd be a good deal. would blend right in with the rest of ‘em; no one’d ever notice it. what say i take it off your hands?"
soap's breath shudders out of him, his whole body going limp with relief. his baby's eyes fall shut with a satisfied hum and for the first time he can remember, he feels the gentle touch of hope
"i think we can work something out."
🧼💀
ghost owns the service station soap pulled into. he wanted something quiet and isolated after he retired and you can’t get much quieter than a backwoods servo surrounded by forest. he hasn’t had anyone pull in in days so he’s quick to notice soap’s car. he’s also quick to notice soap's subsequent breakdown in one of the cameras. the sight of him crying, desperately clutching a baby like they’re all he has left in the world, is so familiar he felt sick with it
he knows someone running when he sees it
if he didn't check on him, if this lad disappeared one day and the baby along with him, he'd never forgive himself. the lad doesn't even have a baby bag or car seat with him, and the personalised sticker on the back window of a lady and a dog is a dead giveaway that the car is stolen
but the lad is terrified. and when he startled him, he didn't turn. didn’t lift his arms to protect himself. no
he covered his baby
like he was afraid he'd be hurt
that's enough for ghost
🧼💀
i'd wanna set this in the 80's or 90's, just to make it even harder for soap to get away from his husband. he's a trans man with a newborn; he has no one to run to and no resources to help him. his husband's bought and paid for everything for him since he was 17; a few whirlwind weeks of unbelievable dates and extravagant gifts and he was living in his mansion, getting married the day after his 18th birthday. he thought it was love. thought he was being looked after and cared for the way he’s always wanted
he was in pain and alone and naive enough to believe the first person who came along and promised to make it better. nothing's in his name, not his insurance or his meds, he doesn’t have a bank account or savings; other than a birth certificate, nothing even ties him to his baby. his husband could take his world away from him with a snap of his fingers and he made sure soap always knew it
he never had a chance of getting away
but ghost is ex-military
he doesn’t know the lad’s story, doesn’t know the details of what he’s running from. he doesn’t need to know
he decided he was helping him the second he pulled into his service station
#what up i had a nightmare about an eldritch horror trying to steal my baby and john mcclane from die hard shooting it to protect me#i woke up freaked out and decided to torment soap with it to feel better#thats literally the only reason this exists#that and the thought of soaps super hairy chest but thats besides the point#anyway#i was going to have ghost be a drifter after retiring but i like the idea of him being the unlikely safe person living out in the woods#ghost moves soap into the little one bedroom cabin he built behind the station#its hidden by the trees and kept warm by a fire. he gives soap and the baby the bedroom and sleeps out in the living room#he keeps watch out the window for whoevers after soap#he doesnt find out who it is for a while; soaps been burned and reluctant to trust anyone#but they gradually heal each other; ghost gives soap someone to trust and soap helps ghost heal his truma by giving him someone he can save#soap starts to work in the service station despite ghost telling him he doesnt need to but he wants his independence back#he finds he likes working and ghost cant take that from him when hes so obviously happy cleaning and shelving stock#soaps husband comes looking for him but ghost still has his contacts and calls a whole militia down on his head#each one of them with favours in the government if not outright political immunity; money means nothing in the face of them#they just threaten him; lets him know soap is protected now#at least; thats what ghost tells soap 😉#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghoap#john soap mactavish#soap cod#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#save post
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How it feels to not like timebomb after s2
#I'M NOT A HATER I SWEAR I ACTUALLY REALLY LIKE IT ON PAPER#i do however think that it came literally out of nowhere and was hella rushed and kinda ridiculous#like. if the argument is that original ekko fell in love with jinx it doesn't make sense because they were enemies for most of their lives#if the argument is that current ekko fell in love with au powder and now projects these feelings on jinx it's kinda uh. messed up#because she's a whole different person. entirely. it doesn't matter if both these version started out as a 9-year old powder. they had#extremely different lives and experiences and thinking that “there's still this kind of powder in jinx deep down” is straight-up awful#OR even if he didn't project his feelings for powder on jinx why would he love her in the current universe? last time they met she blew them#up and now she wants to commit suicide. there's literally no reason for him to have any kind of feelings except the slight friendly#affection that's left from all those years ago. and yet the show and most importantly the fandom treats them like a couple??? i don't get it#also it's kinda insane that s2 turned jinx and ekko into flat shipping material#again. obviously i have nothing against the shippers and do not condemn it in any way. i'm just expressing my thoughts on the matter#also what pisses me off the most. is how in ep9 jinx in fully painted with ekko's symbols here and there. has the bandage (?) on her chest#like vi. has a hood that looks like a drawing that isha made. and yet there's no fishbones or any reference to silco at all#i mean. i get it s2 hates him but i can't help it#they gave her all these relationships and pretended that they're significant to her and yet they didn't have any proper development#to really earn it#arcane critical#arcane season 2#anti timebomb#jinx arcane#ekko arcane
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nobody wants to hear me out on this but this is how both the Leo return in ToA AND the Percabeth reunion in MoA should have gone... 🫣🫣
#I hope this reads properly in the fic but I see the whole “angry pounding fist on chest” thing to be more like#deperate and devastated and not even that hard of a hit. and mostly used as punctuation to the words which are more vulnerable and less....#mean. I mean rlly why did ppl line up to hit leo in such an unfunny and mean way in canon... pls act like u missed him??#I also take this as like. testing to make sure hes not a mirage. which I think was also underutilized in those scenes#anyway. I am not rick riordan#but read my fic anyway#valgrace#leo valdez#jason grace#piper mclean#liper#jasipereo
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Sometimes a friend group can be, A lesbian, the gay boy she's mentoring, his bi brother-in-law, and Steve
#please do not take this seriously#except the part where Jonathan's bi#i mean that with my whole chest#robin buckley#steve harrington#mike wheeler#jonathan byers#stranger things#st5 spoilers
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hcs abt geto and very sleepy reader?? :))
HE WOULD LOVE YOU SO MUCH . i genuinely can’t overstate this i think a sleepy little reader is one of his favorites actually …… he just melts when he’s around you. suguru finds it so rewarding when his s/o falls asleep around him because it proves that you feel safe with him, that you trust him . and it makes him feel like a big scary guard dog and a warm pillow all at once <333 (number one most likely jjk man to fall in love the first time you fall asleep on his shoulder in a crowded train . i’m sorry but it has to be said)
and if you’re the type who’s sleepy often it just makes him melt even more …. he’s so fond of your droopy eyes and little yawns :(((( gets the happiest, most smug little smile on his lips when you start dozing off and clinging to his sleeve . he loves everything about it. loves being your headrest, loves carrying you to bed, loves watching your chest rise and fall while lying next to you. he has trouble sleeping but he swears just watching you snooze so happily makes it easier for him to do the same …..
basically . he loves his little sleepyhead <3 absolutely obsessed with you. especially loves how you cling to him in the mornings before he goes to work :3c
#he’s a weak weak man !!!!!!#thank you for asking anon i really think sleepy little guys are his favorite#sugusho win but also arisugu win …. sorry#😭😭#HE LOVES YOU SOO MUCH I REALLY MEAN THIS WITH MY WHOLE CHEST#you are 💤💤 and he is just .. 🥺☺️😌#ask tag ✩
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you guys ever think about how Emma was so elated to see Paul during "inevitable" that she didn't notice his heart wasn't beating. cause i think about that a lot
#tgwdlm#paul matthews#emma perkins#starkid#hatchetfield#paulkins#the guy who didn't like musicals#like she was right up against his chest#sure she didn't get a whole lot of time to notice or pay attention to that but#usually chest warmth and a slight hum is the FIRST thing u notice when hugging someone that's taller than you (sincerely - a 5'3 little guy#which means she was so happy to see him it didnt get to hit her that he was fucking dead#pixie talks#wow been a while since i made my own post good evening everypony
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it's really weird to me the way people have been talking about maria lately.... like i know maria wasnt the most developed character in her earlier appearances and she also didnt get to have a normal childhood experience but seeing people say she has no personality and has no joy or whimsy or never got to be a kid at all makes me wonder if im the only person whos actually been paying attention to maria this whole time...???? like do people think she was a sad miserable kid who never got to have fun because of her disability or something ? because that is quite literally the opposite of who she was
and people are being weirdly ableist about it too like talking like her illness is the reason for all those traits she supposedly lacks. implying disabled people cant be happy or have fun or whatever. like come on man
#maria robotnik get behind me ill protect you#and regarding the disability thing i am disabled myself i was a disabled child once i am well aware of the difficulties that come with that#but you can acknowledge the struggles with being disabled and facing ableism and such#without portraying being disabled as constant misery. shoutout to shadow generations + its associated content for getting that right#anyway its especially weird that people Always say this stuff as a way of hyping up movie maria as a better portrayal#like. movie maria is missing so much of what makes game maria interesting ????? what do you mean shes better ....#and again. people are being weirdly ableist about comparing the two#''she finally gets to be a kid/have a personality now that shes not sick''#''movie maria's death is sadder because game maria was just going to die of her illness anyway'' do you not Hear yourselves.#the fact taht they didnt mention her illness at all and people are just Fine with that is bad enough#but did you really HAVE to say with your whole chest that a disabled child's life is worth less than that of a non-disabled one#even if thats not what you meant its what youre implying.#trying not to avoid talking about the movie but my god some of you make me so mad.
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Bruce: now, for the last part of this meeting
Dick, Jason, Tim, Stephanie, Damian, Cass, and Duke: ?
Bruce: -turns around to bring up a power point presentation, the title card of which just reads 'Please Be Normal About Tim'-
Bruce: -turns back around-
Bruce: ...Tim why are you the only one still here
Tim: I just like power point presentations
#Jason keeps beating up Tim and then chasing him around trying to get him to join him#including AFTER Tim kicked him directly in the balls#he had a whole murder board about Tim when he was stalking him#Damian also keeps trying to beat up/kill Tim and prove he is the 'superior Robin'#Dick is generally pretty chill but he and Tim have a history of getting into shenanigans together#also Dick has a tendency to go a bit feral when Tim is involved and hurt#Stephanie once said Tim had a 'bad case of the Stephs' and while I love that for her absolutely not#Cass neither wants to kill Tim nor be romantically entangled with him#which is good!#but like Dick she also goes along with his plans without as many follow up questions as she should probably have#and by 'as many' I mean 'any'#she pretended to stab him through the chest to throw off a bunch of assassins#and I'm pretty sure she didn't question a single second of it#Tim just turned to her like 'I have a fake sword and I need you to pretend to kill me with it'#Cass just gave a thumbs up with no follow-up questions#Duke#my beloved#I know he and Tim don't interact much in canon#but in my heart I feel he would not be normal about Tim either#like regular ass Tim Drake figuring out Batman's secret identity and deciding to just become Robin because Gotham and Batman need it?#attaching rockets to a skateboard to get around?#coming up with insane and convoluted plans and consistencies that don't make sense to anyone else?#plans and contingencies that WORK?#Duke would see Tim as aspirational and go along with whatever insane bullshit nonsense he comes up with just to see what happens#he would 100% be down for whatever Tim has planned and would absolutely feed into it#he just wants to crank that little chaos gremlin up to eleven and watch him go#Bruce is desperate to keep them from interacting in any capacity for longer than thirty seconds at a time because HE KNOWS#HE KNOWS what will happen if they ever team up#it's why he put them on separate shifts#for the record Bruce ALSO had to sit through this presentation
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3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ
link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀
#doctor who#tenth doctor#martha jones#david tennant#freema agyeman#(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post#where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc#which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3#(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair#+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers#*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story#It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work#instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary#then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop#basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing#it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them#it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok#there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about#Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life#you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level#anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry#creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then
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It’s been 16 days, I get that he’s probably in his depressed unemployed era, but babe, the girlies need some news.
#logan sargeant#LS2#f1#formula 1#fuck james vowles and i mean that with my whole chest#Williams racing
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I cannot help it my biggest peeve in the Scream fandom is ppl making Stu Macher obliviously stupid, naive and innocent 'Duuhhh, we're killing ppl??? I just wanted to impress Billy?? I never meant to kill anyone, Billy manipulated me!'
As if this man wasn't targeting his ex girlfriend, lured his current girlfriend to her death to get beers, had mutilated dolls hanging by their necks in his attic mimicking his ex's death, was bleeding out MORE than Billy yet still more dangerous than Billy by attacking Sid when he should be knocked tf out and looking like this the entire reveal.
Whatever alternate reality version of Scream Y'ALL are watching I wanna see it cause it ain't mine
#HoW fandom makes Bo too hateful to even his brothers and too insanely awful#Scream fandom doesn't make Stu mean smart or crazy enough!#scream#stu macher#like Bo is fucked in the head but I can admit my pookie is dumb and not the mastermind he thinks he is#AND I can say with my whole chest Stu is an absolute nut and pos but I love him
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Oh my gosh guys i LOVED the way they finished their fight sm!!! Who cares if Jay doesn't remember anything, he still married Nya!!! Thats... Thats how it went, right?... Right????
my chest hurts so i stayed home today aaand i finishes watching the newest episodes. Hopefully i dont drop outta fandom for another 4 years like i did waiting for seabound in 2020 lol. I mean i survived toh hiatus in 2022. How bad can it be.
#ninjago#ninjago fanart#ninjago dr#ninjago dragons rising#ninjago dr s2#ninjago jay#jay walker#ninjago nya#nya smith#jaya#jaya shipping#digital art#art#fanart#my art#artists on tumblr#btw i have no idea why my chest hurts#i mean i totally did ignore the “dont wear a binder for more than 8 hours” but i was just fine this whole year.#ninjago jay walker#ninjago jay gordon#ninjago nya smith
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okay okay which one of y'all finally put garashir on julian's memory alpha page
#im screaming#'flirtatious way' links to the page on sexuality#the source for the block quote is that arab-american history month interview with sid. of course#i finally went and read the whole thing and folks. it's unhinged#i like that the interviewer asked him exactly what i've wanted to#like basically okay you say now that it was all intentional queer coding but you used to say it wasn't so WHAT IS THE TRUTH#but in a nice way because he's a very nice man#and he was kinda like well. i knew in the back of my mind#and you know what. fair enough#i mean i dont know if he ever outright denied it but he's been very coy about it in the past#so to really have him say with his whole chest that he played julian as attracted to garak is really. something. happy pride everybody
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