#and i made my own venting post lmao
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sieglinde-freud · 2 months ago
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oh im obsessed with this actually… who ever wrote this one i am kissing u on the forehead and hugging you real tight… inigo is such a loverboy im kkkhhhhhhijnsdnfng
#ann plays awakening#EDITING TO SAY I STARTED TAG VENTING HIT READMORE AT YOUR OWN RISK#anyways#LAST LINE IS A KILLERRRR WOW#‘ann werent you just pairing olivia with thar—‘ OLIVIA IS A BUSY WOMAN OKAY#but also i just had this old save file from when i wanted to see pink inigo and decided to get some more supports#im obsessed actually like#ok tag venting time maybe this should be its own post but u guys know who i am#not only does this support in my very educated opinion do a good job at emulating inigo’s way of speaking#but i think theres also a very underrated characteristic he has that not a lot of people talk about and its that hes honestly quite morbid#him spending hours talking to and dancing with his mother’s grave is very beautiful and moving but it is also not a normal way to grieve#which makes sense because duh nothing about his life is normal but its j like. you know#if robin is his father (and maybe j the normal convo i dont remember) in the hot springs scramble he’ll insist upon bringing—#severed risen limbs home as a way to remember the peacefulness (lol) of the springs#and he thinks absolutely nothing of it!!#i think he gets attached to things just a little too intensely and because his life is surrounded by death how he expresses that can be#very interesting. and he talks about death all time more than the other kids#bc while a lot of their coping mechanisms are based in fear and the need to instill confidence in themselves (think cyn or gerome or owain#or sev or yarne or noire)#and how their SCARED of death and of loss and adapt different behaviors to act like theyre not (to varying degrees of success)#i think inigo is much more accepting of the fact that death follows him and has made it a normal presence in his life#which is not a good thing it means that he hasnt let himself grieve. he lets death hang over him and follow him instead of pushing back#also guess which one of the awakening trio in fates has the canonical story death. just by the way lmao#anyways bc im writing this in the tags on my phone i cant actually see what the hell ive been saying im j stream of consciousnessing this#but my point is that inigo has a weird fixation on death and dying that stems from his inability to make peace with death and grieve#and i think him idolizing death in this support (this BRILLIANT fan support that made me ill) is so in character and so lovely#i miss him so bad (hes literally in the photos im posting) grghhhrgah#i wuv him :(
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gayvampyr · 2 years ago
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one of the funniest (most annoying) responses to my posts about my own personal experiences is “um this is [x] erasure” or “op this needs more nuance”. ??? no it doesn’t, it’s literally just a vent post about my own feelings and experiences ? lol
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coridallasmultipass · 5 months ago
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#hhhhhh reread the flashback chapter i wrote w d/dirk and just hooh boy i love it so much ugh#im tempted to post it on its own but i want to save that bomb of a scene for the middle of the larger fic its in#just ughhhhhhh i love everything about how i wrote d#im going nuts bc i have been working on it since like december? ish? but the past couple months have been hell for me personally#fuck like i remember going thru an entire calendar of movie release dates for that historical year and found the perfect spot#to where it accounts for historical events and events in canon and has its own special date and how the release of the movie...#...effects how d managed to make it a success and just#fuck man i researched the hell out of that and only had to put one anachronism to grease a moment in it#like#this fic is so big for me and i am so scared that i wont finish it bc i have so many things planned out for it and so many ...#...annotations i keep adding to modify things i wrote earlier in it (which is why im not publishing any of it yet)#i want to share it w the world so fucking badly but i keep getting amazing ideas to weave in from an earlier point i already wrote#cries lol#ughhh this is why im so tempted to post the flashback as a standalone chapter/separate posting#but#i wrote it to match a scene from both the previous and next chapter so i dont wanna ruin that either#fucking writers block man ahhhh wish my life wasnt shit rn bc i need to finish it#tag edit: i used the wrong spelling of affects earlier lol#but yeah ughhhh so frustrated w life rn i have such bigger problems going on rn but#rereading my fave chapter kinda just made my day at least lmao#personal#vent#kinda i guess#delete later / /#maybe idk lol#ShitPost.exe#like this wip is over 33k words and its probably not even halfway done in terms of event points i want to happen in it lmao fml#all bc i wanted to make one punchline happen which happened a long time ago before i wanted to write all that backstory into the fic
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kotaka-kun · 6 months ago
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idk i think its weird behavior to see your mutual reblogging and agreeing with a post re: fanwork history and the issue of misuse of a common fanwork term, and then deciding that not only do you not care, but you want to call it stupid? lol like that just seems unnecessarily rude and ignorant?
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famewolf · 2 years ago
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if im being honest and allowing myself to vent a bit about it ... another red flag was when the DM went 'wow i love the detail of your backstory but idk what i can do with it tho ):'
#[static]#it immediately made me feel bad for trying to make a character work with the aesthetic she had given us tbh#i could already tell she didnt seem to be super character story driven so i just made a pretty simple drifter-type#for a post-apocalyptic setting n such and made a group that tied into the whole over-arching premise#i also literally just did bullet points cuz i could tell she wasn't gonna want to read one of the backstories i usually do#and as someone who has mostly dm'd in the past i did my v best to make a character that was super easy for the dm to incorporate in any way#like a solid reason for being there a reason for wanting to adventure with strangers a reason for seeing the mission through no matter what#made a whole small faction and connected them to the overarching theme and plot in multiple ways#wrote down lore and npcs she could use for the faction if she didnt want to make up her own#like all the works and all i got was two sentences back about it ... one of them being like 'cool but i dont like the extra details'#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh#ok im done yelling now i just need to vent for a second#i feel bad for feeling kinda bummed about the experience because this is the first time i got to play at a physical table in years#and i know how hard it is to DM#but also when you come to the table with zero notes for the first session its ... probably gonna be disappointing jkfghdf#i DID have fun however because the party banter was hilarious and it was fun getting to hang out with ppl!#but communication between DM and players was not great#also let me be clear she did like that i made so many connections and hooks into the story and it helped her a lot#she was NOT interested in my character's past like ... jobs or npcs#but also u could just Not say anything about it and just be like 'sweet cool thanks for the info' LMAo
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moodlesmain · 1 year ago
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while im (takes a deep breath to hold back my rage) sympathetic to the fans of Those Wizard Books who're taking a death of the author approach so long as they're not supporting the series financially or actively promoting it and are sticking to fan communities, I really, *really* wish people would put away their merch. Because when I see someone in public with merch from it, I always have to wonder if I'm safe around them as a trans person, if my trans friends are safe. And that's a sucky feeling to have, especially when talking to people who otherwise seems perfectly fine and nice!!! A lot of HP fans are just, people!!! Who maybe don't know what the big deal is, or have chosen to deal with the problem by doubling down to spite the author!! But even when I know for a fact they're totally safe or even trans themselves, I don't want to be constantly reminded of the series whose author is an incredibly rich and powerful person whose whole agenda for the past several years has been to push back against the rights of people like me, and who people like my own god damn mother is more willing to listen to about trans people than her own nonbinary child.
I know it's irrational to feel surges of rage at the mere mention of a popular multimedia franchises, but while I know not every trans person is bothered by it, I also know that a lot of trans people and even allies *are* bothered by it. Just... begging for some understanding, and for people to just PLEASE dial back their fandom-ing in public spaces, especially mostly queer spaces. You don't know how much difference it might make in the comfort and feeling of safety for the trans people around you
#maybe this matters less in the US#or like anywhere else in the world#but in the UK............. please holy shit terfs are a bigger force here than anywhere else#PLEASE stop openly showing support for the multimedia franchise that made the one with the most mainstream influence insanely rich#that she still uses to prop up her arguments about trans people#do you know that she's claimed the fact that people still like her wizard books means that shows people support her beliefs?#do you know that she's compared queer people to the villains of her books?#do you know how much she hates us? how much she hates our transfemme sisters especially?#im just a short afab nonbinary weirdo#i'm not seen as a threat by anyone#i can't imagine how trans women must be dealing with this#vent post#technically#ugh#sorry this has been on my mind for a while and i'm in a weird mood rn#don't come at me for this just block me if you're going to be bothered enough by this#because if you do bother me i'll just block you first lmao#edit: not that not being seen as a threat is necessarily a good thing because in the case of us afab enbies we're mostly just dismissed#there's a lot of us but it also feels like we're so invisible outside our own communities#we're just assumed as queer women most of the time especially those of my generation who haven't had any opportunity to medically transitio#except the lucky few who were able to get a diagnosis relatively early in life#or had the money to turn to private healthcare#trans men who don't pass too#moodle rambles
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transmisogyny-explained · 2 months ago
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I want to submit a perspective on "afab transfemininity" from. an afab multi gender person. I know my experience isn't representative of everyone who calls themselves this, but I wanted to at least share
I don't call myself a trans woman, I hesitate to call myself transfem. nonetheless, I feel connected to femininity in a distinctly transgender way. when I first came out, I hated being a girl. I was a transmedicalist and validated myself by invalidating others. I had to face a lot of internalized misogyny and transphobia in order to really learn what it meant to be a man. after I started testosterone about 3 yrs ago, I realized I was a lesbian, and started feeling more comfortable being, at least in part, a woman. it was different this time because it was something I liked, something new and my own, not something ascribed to me. it's not cisgender in any way, it is transfemininity
this being said, I know my experience toward transfemininity is extremely different from the norm. I am not what most people are referring to when they refer to transfems, and there are many definitions of transfem that do not include me. despite that, I do have some experiences that overlap, things I can relate to. my femininity is at its core transgender in nature. my gender now is more complex... I feel like both a man and a woman, neither and both. but that doesn't mean my feelings about my gender are predatory or invalid. I don't want to talk over transfems, I am very aware of my place in these conversations. but I still have a place, and it frustrates me to see you share posts that minimize my experience into a stereotype
Why do you view transfemininity as being, at its core, the experience of being “both a man and a woman” lmao
Get back to me when you start viewing trans women as actual women and transfemininity as actual femininity, and not an aesthetic or a vibe or “some other third thing” apart from femininity.
You “feel femininity in a distinctly transgender way?” Congrats! You’re nonbinary! But that is NOT what being a trans woman is — Their womanhood and femininity is not essentially different from cis women’s.
What you are describing is a very generic experience of being a feminine nonbinary person, and I don't say that to insult you; but to compare that experience to those of trans women’s betrays the fact that you don't view them as the same gender as cis women. Which is transmisogyny. It’s textbook third-gendering.
Call yourself a nonbinary woman- Call yourself whatever you want, in fact. But trans women and TMA people are never going to feel safe around you so long as you continue insisting that transfemininity is essentially the same as the nonbinary femininity you experience, and essentially different from “real” cis women’s femininity.
Also, can I just say that it’s a little condescending that you would end your ask by saying “I’m aware of my place in these conversations, but…”
Like, if you were really “aware of your place” and were actually listening to transfems when we talk about transfeminism, you would be able to recognize the enormous amount of transmisogyny baked into your message. On top of the third-gendering, you also managed to:
Imply that TMA people don’t understand the complexities of gender and nonbinarity like you, a TME person, do
Imply that TMA people creating the language and spaces to discuss our experiences in a way that excludes you, a TME person, is invalidating and somehow tantamount to labeling you as “predatory” (what does that even mean?)
Sent an unprompted ask to a transfem’s blog venting your frustrations with the language of transfeminism, despite the fact that I’m not even the one who made those posts?
Showed a pretty absurd amount of entitlement by insinuating that it’s somehow my problem that you feel frustration over misunderstanding the basics of transfeminist theory
Subtly demanded that I do the emotional labor of managing your frustration, which, frankly, is just classic misogyny
Displayed a complete lack of understanding towards what transmisogyny even is, nor why we, as the direct targets of transmisogyny, need the the language and spaces to discuss it
I really don’t care what transfem “experiences” you think you relate to, the fact that you perpetuate and can benefit from transmisogyny will always separate you from us, and if you actually gave a shit about us and our struggles, you would recognize that and try to be a better ally to us rather than co-opting and redefining our language in a shallow attempt to define us out of existence.
As has been said countless times now:
“Transfeminine” does not mean “trans + feminine,” it is a term coined by TMA people to describe our specific experiences with being denied our femininity. That is something which you, as a person for whom (as you said) womanhood/femininity was ascribed by the system of patriarchy, cannot understand in the way we do.
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fatliberation · 29 days ago
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Sorry for leaving this in your inbox, but I need to vent and ask for advice in a place where people won't mock me. What do you do when sex is super difficult because of your fat? I've recently gotten into my first relationship and. I thought I had a handle on my internalized fatphobia and self hate but this has made it worse than ever. We can't have satisfying penetrative sex (we've tried all the tips and workarounds. Nothing works. I'm larger than most of the FA community.), and recieving oral sex is also difficult for me. I also get tired and sweaty extremely quickly if I have to like hold up myself on mostly my arms or something, so he has to do most of the work. So sex is just. Mostly the one that works on repeat, and we don't have it very often because it isn't that fun for either of us, and it also makes me cry afterwards sometimes because of how disappointing it is & me beating myself up over it.
I'm genuinely worried my boyfriend is going to leave me for this. He's clearly very frustrated with the situation, even though he tries to be nice about it most of the time. Earlier today I tried to like be flirty and hint at stuff and he just. got a bit sad. and then said that clearly neither of us enjoy the sex we're having and that he has a lot of trouble staying hard.and that he doesn't see the point when we're both forcing it for no reason. I think he's going to break up with me soon. His ex is way lighter than me, so he's probably comparing the normal sex he had with her with whatever the fuck this abnormal shitshow is :/
All the work I've done on myself to be happy with being fat (including working up the courage to date, what a mistake that was lmao) is all gone. This has ruined my self-esteem so much. I feel like one of those fatphobic jokes but a person.
first and foremost, please try your best to remember this: your body is not the problem. one more time. your body is not the problem. I'm so very sorry you're concerned that your boyfriend would leave you over this. it sounds like he has a lot of preconceived ideas about how sex is supposed to go. I promise you that it doesn't have to be this way. if this is something that could really end the relationship, know that this person is not compatible or open to exploring your needs, rather than your needs being "too difficult." I promise it's him, not you. I know folks who are 600+ pounds who have excellent sex lives and partners who satisfy them and enjoy satisfying them. when someone starts treating your pleasure like a chore, that's just shitty. I know how much it hurts. it also does damage to your own openness to pleasure. when you're caught up in feeling like sex/your body is something that needs to be "fixed," nothing is going to feel sexy, because all that pressure puts stress on and takes you out of the mental state where you're able to experience pleasure. does that make sense? so many couples get stuck in this cycle.
there are so many ways to engage in pleasure without penetration or orgasm. there's a lot that goes into foreplay, setting a mood, making your partner feel appreciated and attractive. words and touch play a huge part in this. something as simple as exploring each other's bodies, not with the intention of reaching climax, but simply to be vulnerable and engage each others' senses. have your partner give you a massage. play with your hair. tickle your back with a feather. shower together. kiss you. compliment you. if either of you are into any kinks or dirty talk, that could be a great way to engage each other sexually without the pressure of "achieving" a goal. the goal here is just to feel good, close, and connected. societal messaging about sex has placed so much importance on orgasm instead of pleasure - when taking the time and space to relax and receive attention, is key.
feel free to check out my other posts on fat sex ed, there's lots of assistive toys that can make pleasure more accessible, but I think that should be a tool for later, since the biggest issue here is the pressure to perform. know that pleasurable sex can exist for you! but for now, I would recommend taking a break from sex altogether since it is not pleasurable for you right now. because pleasure is the whole point. forcing it is only going to feel worse. you do not owe it to your boyfriend, especially if it doesn't feel good and is taking an emotional toll. I hope you both are able to take a step back, reassess and communicate, and are able to reconnect and create a safe space to explore.
I understand why you're beating yourself up over this, I've been there too. but also know that it's just another societal standard that's been internalized (and it doesn't sound like your boyfriend is helping). like you said, you've done a lot to unlearn fatphobia. there's a lot of internalized beliefs we absorb from society surrounding sex, just like body image. I promise that there is nothing wrong with you. If your boyfriend takes his frustration out on you instead of making you feel safe to express your needs, then he's not a supportive partner. you deserve someone who takes delight in your pleasure and your body. believe me, we're out there.
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mer-acle · 3 months ago
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do you have any headcanons about the other gods?
Lol naturally hehe (that's also so much lmao)
I think I'll just try to add one for each Olympian besides Athena and add links if I already made bigger posts about them. (The non-EPIC gods might get a little shorter)
Zeus: Makes the biggest gestures, in debate, at dinner, just whenever he's talking. It's great for who's sitting next to him (usually Hera and Athena respectively) bc who doesn't love being almost hit in the face every two seconds?
Poseidon: Involves himself in arguments all. the. time. Nobody cared, nobody asked, he knows like half of the facts and has no idea what the problem is but SURE shout along.
Hades: A lot more measured and chill than his brothers, but lets himself be drawn into debates and he CAN get pretty heated if the arguments get too nonsensical.
Hera: Has a massive garden and tends to it herself. It has a peacock fountain and stuff, it's really beautiful.
Demeter: Will 100% cry if she gets a gift from one of the kids.
Hestia: The best. Gives people a bit too much space sometimes. Like, yes, all her nieces and nephews are stubborn but some of them really could need a venting session or a hug down the line, but she just leaves them be. (It is not her responsibility but she wouldn't mind them venting, she just assumes they'll come themselves)
Athena post here.
Hephaestus: Is actually a really good singer (we're not talking musical world rules where everyone can sing, normal world) Like mostly it's too loud in the forge but he sings to himself anyway and he has a good voice.
Aphrodite: Is an amazing swimmer. Basing this on her ocean-born creation myth even though I am more of a fan of her being Zeus' kid for my own version. For the same reason, I always picture her with pearls
Ares post here.
Artemis: In council, I believe she's the most confrontational actually. Yes, more than Athena. Athena lies to get what she wants. Artemis doesn't live on Olympus, she just comes for the council meetings so she might as well speak her mind even if it means the meeting is even more chaos than normal. In general, she never backs down from what she believes in.
Apollo post here.
Hermes: God of eavesdropping and gossip. Seriously. Do you really have to know every single thing that's going on? Also I think his funny persona is a coping mechanism but it's so deeply ingrained it would be literally impossible to shed.
Dionysus: Randomly says the most insightful shit you've ever heard. Like, Athena is speechless levels of deep stuff. Like... is it because of the drugs or is he on drugs because otherwise his being would transcend the universe, we will never know.
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Okay that was fun hope you enjoyed :D
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nico-esoterica · 5 months ago
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Your thinking is an investment.
(Long Post): Even if shit doesn't hit the fan right away, you're planning for that story to eventually happen. If you hate your job, your living situation, your life path, whatever it is, the story you're telling about it to others and yourself is always manifesting. You can't turn it off. It's okay to not enjoy it, hate it, etc. But it's important to pivot your mindset and investing in seeing it changing. Whatever you tell yourself consistently will play out.
I'm going to discuss intrusive thoughts and OCD below and how I managed mine while manifesting:
Intrusive thought/OCD wise, it's not any or every thought that pops up in your brain. It's just what you validate. Even if you're afraid or paranoid about xyz, your emotional mind thinks it's real but the rest of you doesn't. Your mental responses you can't control aren't going to manifest. In therapy, you learn that you don't have to give these fleeting thoughts power, even if they're incessant. You still have control. It's also totally okay if you vent about your circumstances btw. That's not going to affect anything if you say it won't.
Everyone is always going through something. And during all this, especially with transitioning from taking full control after a lifetime of thinking you couldn't, it may feel like absolutely nothing is going on and shit can feel frustrating. However, what you don't know is that you're rewriting all of the people and situations you've changed your mind about. You may not see the full changes right away, but please take every single 'coincidence' as a sign of it working, because it is. People are going to start being nicer and more considerate, situations will be less frustrating, money will be more fluid, and your mental health will improve. It's also okay to be emotional, frustrated, and to just not be okay. If your story overall doesn't change, you're fine. Let those emotions flow!
There's going to be a lot of epiphanies and break throughs, especially if you start nurturing your self concept and apply that peace of mind it gives to everything. You're going to start noticing harmful thought patterns you've had, decisions you've made because of conditioning, and you'll see what you need to internally let go of. This is where therapy, therapeutic tools, and different spiritual practices and rituals come in to help this adjustment. There's no one size fits all for everyone so you should ideally find what speaks to you and not what you 'think' you should adopt. Your intuition, imo, will help you out here. This may be a period where you purge out old relationships, habits, and lifestyles which don't align with you anymore. They may even simply fall off on their own. None of this has to happen but is what I see in a lot of people due to my own journey. But nothing bad has to happen nor do you need to sacrifice anything. That's Hollywood-dramatic, lmao. You just may not resonate with a lot of shit anymore. And that's OKAY! It's great tbh. You're going to notice people's limitations they impose on you or themselves immediately too.
The second you say shit's new, then it is. When you continue to choose it or persist, you'll notice the wheels moving. After a week, month, months, or a year or more, your circumstances are going to dramatically change. They can literally happen over night if you like your shit to move fast too. After a while, you're going to understand the mechanics of how YOU personally manifest and what you like to do vs what you don't. There's no one size fits all. It doesn't matter if you've tried a thousand techniques. As long as you say everything you do is working and you are a stubborn motherfucker, your mind's going to get used to it and will stop fighting you on everything, especially if you're neurodivergent. Speaking from experience. When you tell your brain who's boss consistently, it takes you at your word and the trust you have in yourself to choose the best outcomes you develop from your self concept starts running in the background. It'll become easier to self-soothe, reassure yourself, and regulate your nervous system. When you say you're in control, your universe says 'okay, bet' and you'll find those resources easily or you'll start naturally doing them.
You're constantly investing in what works for you or works against you. You're either trusting in things working or working against your favor. That's why it's always good to think great things about yourself regardless of circumstances how things look or seem or how the past played out. All outcomes shift immediately with your awareness of what you think is possible. Your senses are limited and this is why it's crucial to let your imagination do the rest. Because shit always catches up. Your brain can't tell the difference between what you think you're experiencing vs what you actually are irl.
So if you continually tell yourself good things are happening or will, there has to be a confirmation bias for that. Your brain runs off your logic at all times. Therefore, you can rationalize that anything can work and it will. From a nitty gritty pov, you should always make sure to still be reasonable about shit, like to not blow your rent on some bs in one night. But after a while, you'll be able to do that and it won't be a problem. Don't stress your mental bandwidth out like that at first unless you have the inner resources to lock in on a good outcome. Dream big and do all things big, but do so safely without risking your mental health.
Whatever you invest in, positive or negative, will always pay off. Choose them wisely :)
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darlingdaisyfarm · 3 days ago
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You know I've been meaning to ask.. is everything okay? I mean your pfp is blank. I understand you're uploading, but I also want to make sure you're okay
idk if i have some mental connection with you, anon, because how else i can explain that you sent this ask right when i felt so bad??? but yeah i should really put a pfp, i just can’t choose the right pic and at same time im lazy….
honestly i promised myself i wouldn’t vent online and irl because i don’t wanna be annoying or be the kind of person people get tired of. but i guess i just feel emotional rn sorry again
well 2025 kinda kicked me in the face already LMAO, it already reminded me that some people will always pick someone else and some things are just not meant to be yours. i just got reminded once again that i’m super replaceable to person i really loved and cared about. so now im realising that i was just there to pass the time until they found smth better, someone better. and they did, they did and that’s just unfair for me, i literally loved this person for 10 years and that's how i ended up
not exactly the fresh start i was hoping for lol
been feeling like a ghost in my own life lately so i guess i made this blog to just be somewhere, to talk to people, to share things i love, to feel like i exist in some small way. to find friends? idk. sometimes i wonder if i’m just taking up space here, but deleting this blog feels dramatic so whatever. although i thought bout this a lot and still think about it, but i guess im just being... yeah, dramatic, i mean i am, ive been told. so, i don't know, deleting feels rude ? and i don’t wanna be rude, i hate being rude :( i still hesitate every time i post though. and i don’t want to be that person who craves reassurance but damn, it gets lonely and im embarrassed to even say that rn
+ last year drained me so much that i couldn’t even start anything for a whole month. its about my work, i just felt stuck, exhausted before i even tried. things are getting better now with my work, though. it’s actually tied to people and honestly, i love that?? i mean, i love people very much. in general. so whenever i meet someone kind or understanding in my work, it lifts my mood
but when it comes to writing or fics, i feel like i’m always fighting myself. actually i enjoy writing, ive been writing since… 14? 13? so i try, i push through, but nothing ever feels right lately. i don’t know if it’s just a phase or if this is how it’s always going to be. why i always feel like i could’ve done better or that maybe i shouldn’t have posted at all
anyways….. i don’t usually post stuff like this. i really don’t want to be like this, i hate sounding so negative, i really do. i promised myself i wouldn’t. i usually just keep things to myself, but you seemed like you genuinely cared, sweetheart and i figured i might as well be honest, i appreciate your worry! thank u sm angel! ♡
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fasolabean · 4 months ago
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warninggg this is a long one ,,,
(Okay so I started writing this uhhh vent before more posts on the n//fts appeared later so plz keep that in mind hah)
So I haven’t been too active on here for the past month – a bit personal start, but I’ve moved to a different country whooo!!!! (its terrifying) (my brains been involved in fandom stuff as usual but physically I wasn’t lmao).
But I wanted to talk ab the n//ft (censoring bc idk ab bots here) thing bc while some people on here provided some great context and threads, most of the talk has happened on twitter. So like. Since it was first confirmed what the raffle thing was I was veryyyy disappointed, especially bc K has made fun of this very thing on stage previously. And like yea, the nature of what hes doing is different than the n//ft crypt0 scams, since the cost of the paywalled content is set and not fluid and the raffle thing was free to enter, and I know there have been threads about the website not being the worst on twitter (link) (edit: now here on tumblr too). But still man. Both of these could’ve been done on either an independent website or through stuff like youtube members or patreon. Or hell, even just on the merch store? Like buy a promo code that buys you access to the material?
Also like I get that this was probably a contract that would be rly hard if not impossible to terminate. STILL though, I wish we just got an even short thing like “hi sorry I wasn’t aware this is gonna be a one time thing we’re not doing it again”. I don’t mind extra content being paywalled personally, I know some people do, but I just really wish it wasn’t don’t with that technology. And yes, I also now know it’s a safer way to handle shit like that but I just cant see this excuse being used for commercial use? Like maybe I can see why I could be made to use it for like idk an important document, but a raffle ticket? Nah
I also, ugh. Felt weird about mikke in the team since the winter. This whole thing seems to be – at least to a large extent – either done or influenced by him, judging by even the fact that the europass thingy webpage has oy photomikke marked (no im not buying it but i did look around curiosity was stronger). Also the previous thing that had made me go hmmm about käärijä as a brand was the bnb, which now seems to be ran entirely by mikke and his wife. Like stick to your photos man? That being said tho, Jere IS an adult and he IS the face of this brand. If he doesn’t think hes qualified to make business decisions all by himself (which I get, this shit is hard), nothing is stopping him really from getting a professional to help him with those things. And if there IS something stopping him then hey man I think you should go to the press with that lol. From any interviews ive seen or read, you can feel he feels this responsibility to keep his friends and family that initially helped him afloat. But I wish he understood that not letting people who in the end are not professional about business and PR and having them stick to their own thing does not have to mean cutting them off.
But now I just wanna share a thought that to some might seem like me defending him – which, in case you didn’t get I am very much not lmao. The thing is, im really glad the fandom is able to call him out on a shitty thing – like a bad baaad business decision. You can like somebody’s art, hell you can even like the public person they are, while not agreeing with everything what they do. What annoys me though, is that apart of the kä fandom, he is also often talked about (usually negatively) in the wider esc fandom. Over the past week I’ve seen multiple threads on twitter from people that rarely ever mention him about this. That would’ve been like, not that much of a deal (though sometimes it really got… engagement bait-y) but the amount of bodyshaming and shaming of his fans that comes up with every valid criticism is making me wanna pull my hair out.
Especially cause he’s neither the first finnish esc-related artist to do that (Robin and Cyan Kicks are mentioned on the kollekt website) nor is he the first esc artist of his influence to do it either. Last year Loreen and Alessandra have released n//fts last year, and Loreen did a very similar raffle a couple months ago. Now I wanna be very clear: I don’t want this to be like. Cancelling these people, that would be so hypocritical of me. I also don’t want this to be like a fandom war like oh youre mad he did xyz?? Well THIS and THIS person did THAT!!1! I’m just merely annoyed that these people doing essentially the same thing went with no echo at all, but now I’ve seen us (the fandom) be literally called the r slur and the most vile things being said about jere and, for some reason, his appearance???
Idk man. I really try to  make it clear im not trying to excuse his decisions and I think being angry and/or disappointed at him is absolutely understandable. Im just angry that every single time he fucks up, every single time he makes a mistake, my timeline is filled with a wave of people rejoicing in it. I know he’s a controversial figure, he’s been one since day one, but I just wish he’s gotten the same amount of shit his peers do for the same actions? And this happens every time, and each time im like “well ig I can see why hes so bad when it comes to criticism”. Because imagine doing a thing that your peers have done with no/minimal criticism and then the moment you try it out you get people calling your fans slurs and commenting how stupid you are. Like ngl id also think any criticism was hate lmao.
Again I wanna be very VERY clear im very critical ab what he chose to do. I wish he took some responsibility – and hope he maybe does, at some point in the future. This year has been a whole lot of bad business decisions for the käärijä brand in my eyes, and I hope he can actually see where its gone wrong and do something about it, both for his and our sake. I am also happy to see fellow fans who are able to call out their fave. But man I am TIRED of him just getting all the shit (from people who very visibly fans are not)?? And now I have the proof that it is comparably more than other people and not just my bias towards him because wdym there’s been at least 4 esc artists, 2 of which more famous than him, and 2 umk artists doing exactly the same thing with almost no echo??
TLDR (thishasover1kwordsfuckshit); I wish he did better, simply. I kinda cling to some hope that maybe hey finally this time he will see that criticism can be constructive. I think this is still a level of fucking up that you can like, come back from. Pity it’s connected to the eurotour since kinda souring my excitement ab my first concert in a new country a bit :(
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the-s1lly-corner · 5 months ago
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silly, i got an idea
i don’t know if suggesting this is a bad thing (sorry if it is), but about that vent post thingy, why not make an “x reader who loves their plant(s) a lot” or something along those lines with any character you like rn? (i would’ve asked this for adam or lute, but, uh…ehh)
actually, kinger or ragatha might be cool, but you can do something with this prompt for other characters if you like! /nf
Kinger and ragatha x reader who loves their plants
Tbh I was originally gonna do this with any characters but I had a mini brain blast for kinger- maybe I'll make a separate post with my current blorbos usually i dont shuffle around queued posts but uhuhuh shooting this one to the top because A) since i plan on doing this prompt again nearly instantly after this, i wanna separate it just because its such... a unique request that i relate to a lot + i try not to post the same prompt back to back unless its a multi part thing and B) i dont want to respond to this ask with a "oh ur cool oomfie basing a request off of me crying over my tree isnt overstepping/gen" LMAO
Notes: reader is GN, non specific plant but admin is basing it off of his own experience with his plant
CWs: none
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RAGATHA
she thinks its sweet that you put so much effort and care into your plants, even if others may think it a little strange how dedicated you are
she totally understands personifying it, she does the same with some of her own belongings... she just thinks it shows that you really do care
ties a little bow around the pot as a little pop of color as well as to simply... give it some extra sparkle
love the idea that she was into DIY stuff before getting into the circus- usually baking and sewing but it would be cute if she sometimes made stuff from plant parts- colors from leaves and flowers, preserving parts for one reason or another... in the event that the plants health takes a turn for the worse she takes a piece to preserve for you to keep
KINGER
you both sit together and info dump about your interests and the bonus? he fills you in on bug/plant relationships, what bugs you need to look out for and which ones can be good! will give you some beneficials so your plant has some level of protection from pests
greets your plant as you enters your room, doesnt think its odd and it comes so naturally and he says hi with genuine happiness
bugs are his main interest but he picks up looking into plant care so he can better understand some of the things that you ramble about as well as potentially offer some info you didn't know before
ooohoohoho if you two eventually return to the real world together you make a garden and tend to it together
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simplysedusa · 3 months ago
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Hii so idk if you've done this already but what are your hc on the boy's relationship between each other?
I actually haven't made a post on this. To be honest, there was this clip of their losing animation from Multiversus that I haven't stopped thinking about and I was eventually gonna post my thoughts on that, or just post my general takes on who I think the Rowdyruff Boys are (and grow up to be). But, this will scratch that itch momentarily (and help me better characterize them and flesh them out).
Once again, just give me a minute to collect and organize my thoughts lmao.
The Rowdyruff Boys:
There's the typical, rather popular headcanon that Boomer's the "odd one out" of the three because he's not as evil as his brothers, and how he's often teased and bullied by Brick and Butch. But that's baloney, Brick teases both of his brothers, it's just that Boomer's reactions are more entertaining. (Also, Boomer can be as bad as his brothers, at times, he might be worse...)
And it's not like Brick gets off scot free either, both Boomer and Butch know how to dish it back when needed, Butch is just less likely to on his own and will just simply laugh at Brick's antics.
Butch is the glue of the group, the foundation, the rock. He's the one they feel the most comfortable venting to and are able to express themselves with freely (lmao I mean look at their options, who else would Brick and Boomer turn to, EACH OTHER?!). I find him to be the most emotionally intelligent out of the three, in contrast to Buttercup, who's probably the least emotionally intelligent out of her sisters (but she's still better than Butch, she's a superhero after all). Without him, Brick and Boomer would've spent most of their childhood youth fighting each other instead of the girls.
Brick's the direction, the determination, the focus. While he may not be as uptight as his counterpart, he's unfortunately the brother that has to keep them on track.
Boomer, on the other hand, is the relaxation, the relief, the destress-er of sorts. Even if they tease him, they find Boomer to have a rather calming presence that's needed for the group. He's usually the one to suggest alternatives to some of the crazy antics of his brothers.
"Let's get the girls!"
"And BOMB THEIR HOUSE!"
"–but I wanna go to the arcade..."
"So you can lose again?"
"You'll never beat my high score, Boom."
"OH YEAH?!
And sure enough, they're at the arcade.
While the general dynamic between the three isn't exactly toxic, they come to realize the dysfunction amongst themselves as they befriend the girls. The Powerpuff Girls are all so different from one another and have their own internal conflicts within the group but still manage to be each other's best friends, and witnessing that starts causing the boys to be mindful of who they are as brothers.
Brick and Boomer:
The two argued often in their younger years. While Brick may not be/was not as stern of a leader as Blossom, it still drives him up the wall that Boomer tends to be so carefree.
They've only ever actually fought each other three times max. Even though they're the two brothers to most likely fight each other, they're not that serious compared to fights Boomer had to intervene in when Brick and Butch went at it.
A part of Brick feels bad for how hard he was on Boomer, but the other part of Brick is...well, Brick.
Brick will occasionally extend an olive branch, and tries to be nice to Boomer in a very subtle, low-key way.
But unfortunately, Boomer plays dumb to mess with him as payback.
I'm going to the mall...you coming?
I don't have any money.
You don't need any.
If the girls catch us shoplifting again–
We're not–I'm—ugh, ARE YOU COMING OR NOT?
*rolls his eyes despite the smirk on his face and the fact that he's completely aware of what Brick's trying to do*
They're the type of brothers who could marathon some cheesy sitcom together in silence (or as silent as possible for Boomer, he'll make a few funny remarks about the show throughout and get a good chuckle out of Brick) and be completely okay with that, even though everyone else (sans Butch) thinks otherwise.
While Brick and Boomer might have their moments, if you're not Butch (or maybe the Puffs), never disrespect one in front of the other, unless you're in need of a black eye and a broken rib.
Boomer and Butch
When left alone, both of these two assume they're the one with the braincell, but in actuality, it's with Brick (not that he always uses it, he just likes to hold it sometimes).
While Brick and Boomer can sit in silence, Boomer and Butch are headbanging and playing air guitar to whatever music they're blasting out of the boombox they definitely didn't steal.
And that's on a peaceful day. Mojo and HIM had another custody battle over the three, and HIM suggested they split the boys and take turns. Mojo assumed he got the better end of the deal when HIM gave him Boomer and Butch. His entire lair was destroyed in half an hour. They agree to never split the boys up after that day.
These two definitely talk shit about Brick behind his back whenever Brick's pushing their buttons.
Boomer's the instigator and idea man in their pranking misadventures. And Butch is down for anything if he's bored. Their "pranks" can be surprisingly more cruel without Brick (which explains why Brick wakes up to a whole pack of chewed chewing gum in his hair one morning, luckily Ms. Keane has a knack for removing sticky stuff out of hair).
Much like their respective counterparts, they're the night party, club partaking, fun-having, social duo in crime. The only difference is Brick tends to join the two on their night out more often than Blossom will join her sisters (and their nights may or may not end in some sort of illegal activity).
Boomer and Butch's fights/arguments tend to be over rather petty, material things (i.e lost sports game bets, eating the last cookie, 'borrowing' one's clothes or belongings, etc.) but Brick's great at squashing it while it's small.
Without Brick, the two would have been too distracted to fight the girls back in the day.
These two were forced to share a room during their school years thanks to Brick's constant demand of having his own room. Neither of the two seem to particularly mind.
Drama kings! Whenever one of the two has a juicy bit of gossip, the other's the first to know. Brick doesn't usually care unless it's something BIG.
Brick and Butch
I used to be subscribed to the notion that Butch was Brick's yes man. I was wrong, Butch is Brick's (and occasionally also Boomer's) HYPE man.
Brick doesn't usually mind, but sometimes Butch can go a little overboard and now Brick has to be the impulse control and that's no fun when Brick just wanted to kick back and chill.
If you see these two in an alley or hallway and they're suspiciously quiet, RUN THE OTHER WAY. They're not necessarily after you but whatever the fuck they're up to, it's BIG and you don't wanna be caught in the crossfire.
When these two are rarely at odds, it lasts for days. It starts with verbal insults, until eventually a day or two later, one (usually Butch) gives in to the intrusive thoughts of beating the other into a pulp. Boomer has to damn near taze the two to pull them off one another, and pray to whoever's listening that Townsville's still standing so the girls don't get invovled. By the end of the day, the two act as if it never happened.
While Boomer might be Brick's favorite punching bag, Butch is more prone to Brick's verbal attacks (which may or may not have to do with the fact that Butch's specialty is force field generation).
Without Boomer, the two would have been too busy committing grand scale arson to fight the girls when they were younger.
Somehow, they're both the brother to encourage the other to leave their comfort zone. Brick's a loner by choice, while Butch usually sticks to Brick and Boomer like glue.
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neccturtle · 3 months ago
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TL;DR I’m not gonna hide online.
I don’t care.
this is mostly a vent to be honest, it’s kinda long lmao
sorry
tw for vague mentions of mental health issues. I don’t go too into it tho.
I spent so much time hating myself for being trans, so much time thinking there must be something wrong with me.
with my mental health being broken because of my own insecurities and fears. (which, again, I’m not gonna go too into)
I finally came out this year and received love from my family, and a few months later my country told me “no,”
“you are a defect, you are broken, you should hate yourself. because there’s something wrong with you”
and I don’t give a damn anymore.
I will still be myself. and I hope I can at least inspire one person to feel better.
I know I’m not much, I’m not gonna start a movement or change the world.
I’m just a young trans girl who naively thought she’d live a normal life.
but although a small one, I’ll use my voice. even if it’s just to scream. I’ll start making more content then I ever have, I’ll bury myself in it. It’s the one thing I can actually change, the one thing I can control. since there’s no solution to this nightmare but waiting for me, I’ll post my art, I’ll be queer, puerto rican, and proud of it.
I will not hide anymore.
I’m tired of hiding.
I love you all. please send me asks and stuff, Interacting with people like me helps me feel less alone lmao.
and before I start spiraling again I’ll just try to stay strong. for me, for my family, for people like us, and for my dog.
I’ll try to focus on the things that make me happy, on my art, my OCs, my little youtube channel, my growing style and odd sense of fashion, music, my love of food, the most adorable floppy ears and wagging tail in the world, the best mother I could dream for, and hope that maybe someday.
things will get better. ect. ect.
I’m not giving up, probably out of spite.
but I’m still a bit lost.
very disappointed in my country (like usual) but not really surprised.
I’m scared, but I’ll do the most radical extremist thing I can…
and live.
try to anyways.
I know this is a very big tonal shift from my usual content (which, on tumblr specifically isn’t much since I’m new here), as I’m usually way more bright and bubbly,
but I can’t really be that person right now, I can’t pretend everything’s ok. or that I’m fully ok.
I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know what to think.
I don’t know what to say.
emotionally I’m a mess right now.
I’ll take some time to process all of this (and post some drafts in the meantime)
but I just wanna wish everyone good luck, and hope we can make it out of this.
I’m not strong enough for this, but I’ll keep going for all of us, and because I wanna outlive that big fascist orange.
but for now I’ll just take time to think.
and brace myself for what comes next.
and probably start learning a new language.
love y’all, see y’all later, good night,
and good luck to us all 🩵🩵
P.S. my Mom made me go back and capitalize all the “i”s lmao
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alaskan-wallflower · 5 months ago
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What are your favorite ponyboy hcs
there are a few!
i love thinking darry is called darry because pony couldn’t say darrel lmfao-also his first full word being soda is kinda cute because i headcanon soda did NOT fw ponyboy as a kid (he was more mad ponyboy wasn’t an actual pony than the fact he had a brother) and he’d just be so mean to baby pony like pushing him down n shit 😭 but pony’s first word was def soda and soda will remind him of this DAILY.
“pony you remember when you first said my name”
*sigh*
pony is a chronic eye roller, he does not have a poker face. if someone says something stupid he’s literally rolling his eyes SO hard-he rolled his eyes at the teacher once because she was spewing some bullshit and he got detention lmfao-he rolls his eyes at darry a lot and it drives him nuts. he’d get told a lot as a kid ‘if you keep doing that your eyes are gonna get stuck that way’
pony had a speech impediment as a kid and as a result he tended to act out because he was frustrated he couldn’t talk and communicate to his parents about what he wanted. darry was the only one who could understand him and would calmly try to calm pony down and darry actually helped pony get rid of said impediment.
pony’s eyes are bigger than his stomach like he’ll order a truckload of food and be full after two bites. either that or pony has one hell of an appetite and darry.soda CANNOT keep up with it no matter how hard he tries
he has an anxious tummy :( when he’s really stressed his stomach will start gurgling and if it’s really bad he’ll get hiccups-it always happens when he’s taking a test and he gets so embarrassed because he just feels like everyone is looking at him-one time a teacher yelled at him for ‘being a distraction’ and he never wanted to go back to school after that
post book pony goes through a humongous growth spurt. he ends up being one or two inches taller than darry and he’s so smug about it and makes comments like ‘awwww who’s the little brother now?” and it pisses the gang off sometimes lmao
pony knows guitar because his mom taught him. he plays when he’s stressed. darry knows piano and they teach each other how to play their respective instruments. it’s a great time for both of them.
pony gets super into songwriting too-i head anon his mom taught him to sing at a young age and he just never stopped? he had to join choir in middle school for whatever reason and while he hated it at first he grew to love it a lot and he just feels free there. and when he’s stressed he tends to vent his emotions via poetry or drawing, so when he’s writing a poem he’ll put a beat to it sometimes. he’s played for his brothers and has made darry cry with a song dedicated to him (he would rather die than tell dallas though because he’s scared dallas won’t find him tuff anymore)
he’s big into greaser talk. the only time he won’t use “greaser slang” is when he’s trying to impress someone
pony is a very skilled artist. he’s drawn for johnny a lot.
he LOVES strawberries. his favourite dessert is strawberry shortcake but he only gets that for his birthday
(bumping off that) paul’s family owned a strawberry farm that pony used to sneak into to nab their berries. darry could talk pony out of trouble but was never happy about it. after paul and darry had their falling out pony snuck into their farm and had eaten every last berry on that farm and darry was so proud (and concerned and a bit mad because god forbid they pressed charges but pony reminds darry he could tell the cops about paul’s prank and blackmail him so that’s what they do lmao)
his eyes are more green than he’d care to admit. they’re still green grey but with an emphasis on green
i like interfaith curtis bros headcanons…so i feel like they were brought up with both jewish and christian traditions that darry tries to carry on
he knocked both his front teeth out at once by swinging from a tire swing at two bits house and slamming his face into a tree. he didn’t cry or anything though he just laughed it off. he swallowed the teeth though and was terrified the tooth fairy was gonna go into his stomach to get them out (based on true events)
he quits smoking because he can’t stand to think about how he may have indirectly killed johnny but also seeing how worried darry and soda were he couldn’t do that to them. it wasn’t a cold turkey process but it was successful
started smoking around thirteen years old and just never stopped til post book
he hates his hair ungreased but it’s the most beautiful fluffy mop of auburn hair ever
he’s not scared of spiders. hell straight up pick it up and put it outside. but he is afraid of moths and butterflies.
he’s a true carnivore. bro hates vegetables (darry had to get him vitamins instead)
let him ramble about his books. he will ramble for hours
him and cherry have a brother/sister relationship post book and she’ll go to his track meets sometimes along with darry and soda-they all get pretty close tbh
cherry takes pony to expensive cafés sometimes to help him study or just so the two can gossip
pony is a gossip KING like do not cross him
he comes up with really creative insults. half of them are stolen from johnny
he’s bisexual with a teeny preference for girls
he loves greek myths and compares darry to Hephaestus a lot
great expectations is a comfort book for him. if he’s sad he’ll read it in one sitting and enjoys it just as much as he did the first time he read it
he gets bad allergies in the spring and fall :(
him and darry work out together and bond over that just like they bonded over being in sports
he talks to himself when he reads
this wa s’more curtis bros than pony i’m sorry 😭 but hope these are good!
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