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Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 4 part 3
(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])
(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7])
Lilia is bickering with Jen in episode 7. she turns around and SEES ALICE, WHO WAS KILLED IN EPISODE 5
alice, don't try to save agatha! but she's whisked ever further back to episode 2 before she can finish the sentence. imagine having the power of communicating with the past but it's never enough to warn them. seeing the dead and talking to them, knowing what's going to come next. and you wonder why she chose exile and solitude.
meanwhile agatha has collected her wits long enough to decide what her short term strategy with rio is gonna be: keep her distracted, isolate her from the others, keep her away from billy. see how she takes a moment to focus and get into character? she knows rio is about to follow her like a moth to a flame
just going on a trip with my best gal pals and a random teen boy, nothing to see here!!!! and agatha knows that rio knows that she's lying. hello, rio is PERFECTLY aware that there's no Road out there capable of magicking her into a glam rock sex den. but maybe, just maybe, agatha can keep her focused on something else. honestly it would be such a waste to not put all that combined cleavage to good use!
there she was, having a chat with sharon down in the dirt, and you guys went and dragged her up. like perfect morons. I love how she brought the flower along and it ends up working really well with the outfit
oh, rio knows. she knows everything.
and agatha SHOOTS UP and GETS TOO CLOSE and FLIRTS. oh my god this bitch. just like she did in episode 1, except now she's more collected and ever more deliberate. flirting is her best weapon of mass distraction against rio. because look, rio might know all her tricks but she's only (very marginally) human! who can blame her if she lets herself be seduced a little bit, just a little bit! for old times' sake! in rio's defense her wife is very hot and she misses her very much, your honor
rio is like, bitch I got you allllll figure out but also lemme gently caress your thigh. to enhance your acting performance. what's a little supportive yes, and between exes
she's sooo hamming it up. compare her face here with the genuine yearning at the end of the episode
oh this is hilarious. the others hear rio's flirting over the PA and panic, but no, girls, enthusing about murder is legit how they talk dirty!! (lol at lilia being like, right in front of my salad???)
"gasp!!!! that's my coVEN you're talking abOUT!!!! I'm not that kiND OF wiTCH anYMOWRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the ham! the ham! she might just bring the whole deli cart over at this point
and rio with her lil delighted laugh again. she doesn't get mad for one second, she didn't expect anything else. oh agatha, you silly goose, you're so damaged and so cute
let's recap what this fucker achieved with her latest performance, because it's always fascinating to study what's going on in agatha's ferociously scheming brain. she 1) distracted rio from billy. or at least tried to. 2) hinted at Rio's true nature to the others - who knows, maybe she can manipulate them into allying against her later on? 3) pretended to flirt but also flirted a lil bit forreal because there was a lot of skin showing and the flesh is weak etc etc 4) backpedaled alllllllll the way out when things got too intimate because she's too scared and resentful to get close to rio again. playing with fire as usual. or, as the kids say today, fucking around, about to find out
alice's trial has the best aesthetic fr fr. the 70s font!
I'm not 100% sure bcs it goes by so quickly but I think rio is dancing to the cursed music???
not the turntable!! that shit's vintage!!!!!!!
*brian de palma zoom*
*dramatic pause*
WE'VE BEEN CURSED (I love you patti lupone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
INJECT THIS AESTHETIC DIRECTLY INTO MY VEINS. also alice is red, billy and agatha are blue with purple undertones. the colors in this trial seem very deliberate
"she's a tourist." "she's a PSYCHO." look she never gets to just hang out and do fun things anymore, let her be!!
rio and lilia having a little staring contest as she plays with the knife. doing their own cute archnemeses thing
agatha shaking her head at billy and going shhh when he says 'maybe this curse isn't so bad.' like KID will you stop speaking HORRORS into existence?!?
alice standing with her back straight for the first time since like, ever? or since her mom died? did everyone in the family have their own personal demon or did it switch after killing the previous person? or wait, wait, was the curse only like, a metaphor until billy accidentally turned it into a disgusting 1970s animatronic harpy??
I'm convinced rio could see the demon from the beginning. look at her face here, she's the only one who sees both lilia burning and what's causing it
poor lilia must be thinking, burning witches? soooo original and not traumatic at all (lol at patti being a pro at screaming and writhing in pain on the floor. PROFESSIONAL ACTING)
no no no that's the reaping knife careful careful careful careful
alice's spell: expelle hoc malum, expel this evil. (rio when agatha tries it on her later: WHO ARE YOU CALLING EVIL)
lol. lmao, even. (just don't think about how jen has grown seLFISH TO SURVIVE AFTER HAVING TO LIVE POWERLESS AND DEFENSELESS FOR A CENTURY AND HOW SHE BECOMES MORE AND MORE GENEROUS AS SHE SPENDS TIME WITH ALICE AND LILIA)
oh noes my character just had a beast's giant talons perched on her shoulders i should flash the twins real quick so you can see it better
everyone else: EXTREME PANICKING
rio: stops reading her magazine to glance at the disgusting invisible harpy flapping around the room. goes back to the magazine.
and with this I'm off to my extreme friday night (tea and blankie and a book). ciao!
go to episode 4 part 4
#agatha all along#agatha deep dive#alice wu gulliver#agatha harkness#rio vidal#agathario#lilia calderu#character study
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omg bachira, isagi, tetchou and dazai with an autistic s/o PLEASE
if you will , make them headcanons ^^ hope you have a wonderhoy day !!
hello, my alien. we’re each other’s mystery
— bachira + isagi + tetchou + dazai x autistic!s/o
so basically all of them x me i see.. i feel like i fucked up on isagi i cant pinpoint his personality ugh. debut into bllk omg im shy hi reentry into bsd too haha if u guys were active in 2022 i think i am familiar. WAIT NOTE AB THE TITLE… LISTEN TO FRIENDS BY BTS IM NOT ABLEIST ITS SUPPOSED TO BE CUTE :(
— bachira meguru
lets be honest he is also a bit autistic…
very hard to be around when you’re overstimmed ngl… he tries to tone it down when he knows you cant handle too much at the moment. but it’s hard for him to just dial the craziness to 50 😞
oh, very good though at getting you out of social situations. he can slip the two of you out of a party like it’s nobody’s business, cause it is nobody’s business :x
hes also a bit of a wild card too if you’re obsessive about having a routine. he’s a free spirit, so having to do things the same way is a bit of a chore.
when you go non-verbal, he brings out a notebook that you two write your conversations on. he doesn’t actually have to write it down. he can communicate just fine, but he likes to write them down as a memento of your relationship.
he alsoooo likes listening to you yap about your special interest! very attentive, you’d think that you’re a professor and he’s your student at how the flow of your conversation is going
“huh— where did bachira and s/o go..?” isagi asked. he turned around, looking for the two of you after the sudden realization that he was abandoned in the middle of the buffet line…
bachira pulled you out, and in an abandoned hall. he noticed you suddenly started plugging your ears.
‘you ok sunshine? :( is the music too loud?’
‘a little bit… i just wanna get away for like 5 min..’
‘hehe, dont worry. ill stay with you (╹◡╹) <3’
‘ty meg :) <3’
bachira smiled as he saw your hand-drawn emoticon. the two of you doodled all over the notebook while he hummed until you were ready to return.
isagi groaned as he saw the two of you reenter. “you guys..! you should’ve told me if you were gonna sneak away!” bachira stuck out his tongue, making a silly expression. “oops! it just slipped my mind!” he snickered.
— isagi yoichi
with the geniuses he has to keep up with, you’re a total walk in the park for him ;p
mega caretaker, he’s super good at protecting you in uncomfortable environments. i feel like he has a weighted blanket somewhere in his room to cover you with, cause he knows it makes you feel safe.
he lowk overprotective sometimes though. he knows his friends like bachira and raichi are a bit more on the raucous side, so he doesn’t hang out with them when he’s with you until like… 2 years into your relationship (they lowk didnt even know he had a partner). in those two years, he only introduced you to his peaceful friends like nagi, hiori, iemon, and kuon
he doesn’t fight you too much about if you have a routine. he has a luck routine and his spacial awareness makes him really meticulous about how things happen, so he’s gets your struggle :x
he tried learning sign language. he really tried… but there was so much signs; for an entire month, his search history was ‘how do i say [thing] in sign language’
he ended up only learning the alphabet, numbers, and basic words like please and hungry. now when you go non-verbal, he simply just opens his notes app for you to type ;p
he, like bachira, loves your yap. its like his personal podcast fr. he likes to let you sit on the kitchen counter and yap, while he washes dishes. he also likes putting on wireless headsets and listen to your voice messages while he practices, or works out at the gym.
“are you absolutely sure you wanna meet them?” isagi asks. “babe, theyre my friends, but theyre also kind of annoying.” he warns you. of course he meant it lovingly… you nod. “yup! they’re your friends, yoi. i wanna meet them..!”
he sighs and nods. “fine… don’t say i didn’t warn you…” he opens the door. you recognize kunigami, he’s talking with chigiri. “isagi! there you areee~!” a boy with a bob-cut hums. “ah, bachira… this is s/o.” isagi points to you. “ooh~! nice to meet you! im bachira meguru. so you’re the one isagi’s been hiding?”
“don’t overwhelm them too much…” isagi sighs, he pulls you away carefully, bringing you in kunigami’s direction. if you settled in with people you were already acquainted with, then you should probably adjust better. that was isagi’s conclusion. “if any of them pester you, just tell me, okay?”
you nod, a bit saddened at your’s and bachira’s conversation’s sudden end. “im not a kid, yoi. you don’t have to worry over me or anything.” isagi frowns. “hnn… i just don’t want my friends overstimulating you. they might be too much for you, babe.” he explains. at that moment, igaguri suddenly yelled out at gagamaru for taking one of his gyozas, making you instinctively cover your ears.
“seeee?” he points out. “okay… point taken… but, i can still deal with it. if im uncomfortable, ill just tell you, okay?” you offer, trying to compromise. isagi looks around, weighing the possibilities before nodding. “finee…”
that day actually went quite well, you were able to keep up with all of them without getting overstimulated. that night, isagi had his face in his pillow, his face being that of death and grief. ‘they dont need me anymore… theyre gonna end up hanging out with my friends more than me…’ he mumbles.
— tetchou suehiro
another lowk might be autistic (but in a diff way)
he isnt too sure about what to do when you’re overstimmed. so, he usually just takes you to a quiet place and sits down with you until you’re calmer.
hes hella conflicted on whether or not he should introduce you to the hunting dogs. his line of work is pretty dangerous after all, and his co-workers aren’t exactly… pacifists 💀
he ends up deciding not to though. worst comes to worst, he just introduces you 5 years in to your relationship— thats what he thinks.
he doesnt mind your routine. he, himself, is pretty eccentric, so you two are just okay with each other’s quirks :x
tetchou doesnt care when you go non-verbal. lol. okay joke, its more like, he’s also very quiet, he doesn’t even actually notice that you two havent talked to each other for 14 hours.
but when the two of you are talking, he is still as quiet as ever. it’s usually you yapping and tetchou asking questions once in a while. never though, does he ever interrupt you when you talk; always waits for you to finish what you’re saying so you dont lose your train of thought 🫡
tetchou spreads some spicy ranch on his pancakes. it was a pretty good combo. he sat at the dining table, as he heard your alarm clock ring.
first thing you do when you wake up, stretch then use the bathroom. tetchou has your routine memorized by now. second, have cereal for breakfast. third, get dressed. fourth, check if your bag has everything you need. he continues his own routine, and you complete yours, until it’s time to head to work.
you’re double, triple, quadruple checking your bag, making sure you didn’t leave anything. tetchou finished lacing up the strings of his boots before he rises back. “ready for work?” he asks, taking his own little peek into your bag.
“uhuh” you nod. tetchou hums, noticing the charger you left on the counter, and slipping it into your bag. “now you are…”. you gasp, “so that’s what i forgot… thank you, chou..” you say. his deep voice vibrates in his throat as he leans in and kisses you, “stay safe. call me if you need anything.” you wrap your arms around his neck.
last part of your routine, hug and kiss tetchou before leaving for work.
— osamu dazai
he lowk adhd u feel?
when youre overstimmed, he lets you lay on his shoulder while he pats your back and brushes your hair. times like this are his personal favorites, it’s when the world is quiet and no one but you and him exists.
defdefdef introduces you to the ADA members. he finds you similar to kyoka, and always encourages you to hang out with her.
adding on that, he sort of sees akutagawa in you… is akutagawa also autistic? hmm… either way, hes a criminal! he cant let his partner interact with a criminal! — the criminal says after diner dashing again.
the routine thing doesnt really work for dazai either… it’s either you break up with him or let him wake up at 4:00 to eat noodles and rearrange the layout of his dorm, bestie… (just leaves his pot in the sink btw, he a bum like that)
actually knows sign language! dont ask me why he knows, bc i dunno either. he just does :x
he also loves to listen to your yap. actual yapper x yapper. you two’s conversations are lowk exhausting though. you both interrupt each other and talk until you’re both breathless. HAHAHAAH
sluuuuuuurp!
you’re waken up by the loud, really gross, squelching sounds of dazai’s saucy noodles as he slurps them up. the sound is uncomfortable— really uncomfortable.
“s—samu… dont… too loud…” you groan, trying to cover your ears. dazai perks up, “ah, did i wake you..? awh, im sorry, dear..!” he apologizes. even though dazai truly meant it, for some reason it just sounded like sarcasm. “uhuh… j…just dont do it again… trying to sleep…” you hum. “got it… go back to sleep, sweets”
for the rest of the night, you sleep well. dazai makes sure to remain veeeery quiet, taking bites of his noodles rather than slurping, carrying his feet, and using all of his hidden muscles to carry his bookshelf. maybe if he keeps doing this, he wont look so lanky anymore.
at around 6:30, you finally wake up again, your surroundings completely different, and you start to panic. “wh—h..huh..?” you look around. dazai’s in the closet, rolling all of his empty beer bottles into it. “hi, baby! just decided to tidy up a bit. you like?” he asks
tidy up? “tidy up, my ass..! all of your stuff is in different places..! i have to relearn my way around your dorm all over again..!” you complain. “hehe… it was for a good cause! you have your own space now in here!” he grins, opening the second to the bottom drawer in his dresser. it was tidied up, and empty.
“for me?” you ask. “mmhm.” he confirms with a hum. even though dazai was quite lazy, stubborn, and annoying, he really put effort into making you happy. just you.
#bungou stray dogs x you#bungou stray dogs x reader#bungo stray dogs#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungo stray dogs dazai#dazai osamu x reader#dazai osamu#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazai x reader#dazai x you#tetchou suehiro#bsd tetchou#tetchou x reader#blue lock x reader#blue lock#bachira meguru#bachira x reader#bllk bachira#blue lock bachira#bachira x you#bachira fluff#bachira headcanons#isagi yoichi#bllk isagi#blue lock isagi#isagi x reader#isagi x you#isagi x y/n#isagi fluff
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YCH it is! I’ve been ridiculously busy lately and spending my freetime going on walks and working out to clear my head, so it won’t come out until sometime next week. Thanks for all of you guys’ patience and THANK YOU SO MUCH for 1k 😭💕
Here’s me gorging on a nugget as a treat or something
#g/t#giant/tiny#giant tiny#thank you guys fr :(#i started out in this community mostly as a lurker in 7th grade or so#ive made several wonderful friends#and i love my silly little community so much.#seriously#you guys are totally epic sauce#art from the river
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wake up babe new oc just dropped. this is Red he is my boy
#dragon#my art#art#artists on tumblr#artwork#furry sfw#furry#furry art#feral#dragon art#furry dragon#scalie#<- is that the right tag?#scaly#?#dont know much abt furry community :[#but i love to draw my silly little animals....#disability#disabled#im disabled irl and tho im not wheelchair-bound i do have mobility issues so red is kindof a sona#fursona#furry oc#oc#original character#wheelchair#dont know what to tag 😭#has alt text#red the dragon
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after the incredible rap battle
#friday night funkin#boyfriend#fnf yourself#silly billy#fnf#girlfrend#fnf bf#fnf girlfriend#bro literally revived the fnf community#MY WAAAY#art#artists on tumblr#my first post#i'm a little nervous#in the end they adopt silly Billy#they order pizza too#I just love Silly Billy so much😩🙌
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..WELL! Everybody ELSE seems to be doing it,
...and there ARE a lot of Narrator (& Stanley) designs I've been meaning to try and, at the very least, DOODLE,,,;
SO--!!
SEND IN YOUR NARRATORS, STANLEYS, CURATORS, TIMEKEEPERS & WHATEVER WONDERFUL DESIGNS YOU MAY HAVE IN YOUR POSSESSION, BOYS (/GN) & I'LL DO MY UPMOST VERY BESTEST BEST TO DRAW AND/OR DOODLE THEM!!!!
Though I will apologize for if getting all of them done and dusted takes longer than expected. But I'm WILLING to TRY!!
GO CRAZY!!!
#Sitting at my little booth & tapping my silly fingers on the surface#I may or may not regret this#but its also a GREAT chance to possibly see Narrator designs I may of never even SEEN before#+ I'd like to give some love back to the community that pretty much shaped me as a person#YOU'RE ALL SO LOVELY AND ASTOUNDINGLY TALENTED!!!!#GNAWS AT THE BARS OF MY STUPID LITTLE ENCLOSURE#tsp#the stanley parable#tspud narrator#tsp narrator#berri rambles about shit#tsp requests#art requests
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#mayoi ayase#again. sorry#ensemble stars#watercolor#tw fish gore???#sushi ingredients for niki#fufu#please don't hate me i'm a very small creature with strange logical guro processes#and thank you so much to everyone who reacts to my art#or just stares without disgust#I just think about reblogging and start giggling and dangling my legs#i don't deserve this kindness but i love every faceless user on this site so much#and at the same time I'm afraid to subscribe#reblog or communicate... sorry#have a little silly tagged paper love correspondence because it's more intimate and less head-on#really don't know how to communicate properly#I'm sorry
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I HAVE SOMETHING SAD TO SAY ! today marks the day that #dewdlebug goes on break !!! i think this is a little predictable HELP i was drawing nearly like every day for a while, but this pen has been feelin funky in my hand .... like nothing is coming out right noooo ! so im gonna go ahead and say that im gonna step back from art for however long i need 🩷 ill mainly post text and possibly snippets of writing , so stay tuned for that !! thank u 4 ur understanding 🩷,,,,, buuuut
in honor of this break, i think it's important i show some art that never made it out of the notebook !
1. Disco Kid practice doodle that i didn't like cuz of the eyes (added too much pink tinge , made it look odd + they just dont look right imo)
2. silly quick BullDonSoda(???) doodle cuz of that one post i made :3 generally not a fan of it idk but i do think it's cute ! also srry for the crazy lighting omg
3. redraw of a screencap of Sandy < 3 frame credit 2 @.wierdlesbian !!
4. Don faces from memory / figuring out his prominent features hehee he's so cutesie UGH
i think that's about ittttt 🩷 srry abt the break guys , id love to return as quick as possible because i have SO many ideas and things i genuinely wanna do, i think that the overload of inspiration might actually b the thing that's hurting my ability to make art i enjoy HELP .. it's okay though this isn't goodbye, just a necessary break 🩷 i absolutely despise the idea of creating art that i simply feel no love for, so im hopeful that this is what will help ease that feeling ✝️ love yall mwuahh
#punch out!! wii#punch out wii#punch out#soda popinski#bald bull#disco kid#don flamenco#mr. sandman#mr sandman#dewdlebug#phewph this is so hard to say guys !! i absolute adore making art and i wanna do it even now but just TEW MUCH UPSTAIRS !! too much to do !!#i wanna pick it back up as soon as possible i rlly do but i just cant put art with no love or life behind it in2 the world .. no fun in that#i love my lil PO!! community so much thank u all so much 4 always giving me love and support for my silly drawings#in the meantimeee ... GO SCROLL THE DEWDLEBUG TAG and marvel at all the stupid little doodles of Punch Out!! Wii boxers accumulated there 🩷
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I know I shouldn’t be posting while I’m on vacation, but I couldn’t help myself.
Made this today while I was bored just before going to sleep.
Idk I might make them an ask blog because I can’t help myself.
uhh yeah I’m going midnight (technically 1:45 am) fishing by the way?! So cool, can’t wait. I’ll post if I catch anything ^_^
If you are reading this late at night like I am, go to bed grr >:(
#i just felt like it#I don’t know how well gacha does here#especially non-edits#but hey#won’t know unless I try#silly little clock man#silly little sun girl#I love them both so much#my babies#hehe ^_^#gacha life two oc#gacha life 2 oc#gacha life#gacha#gacha life two#gacha life 2#gacha life oc#gacha oc#gacha club#gacha community#gacha character#oc#silly
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btw guys idk if i ever showed him when he came in the mail but this is my furby, goober! hes a gen 2 furby baby ^^
#i did the freckles myself and am planning on giving him new eye chips one day!! :D#he is my pride and joy my little scrungus silly i love him so very much#furby#furby baby#furby fandom#furblr#safe furby#furby 1999#custom furby#furby community#guys plz look at him i love him so much#nepetter meows#also....#goober!#he has a tag now i made this just now :)
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Hiya! Just wanted to stop by and share how IMMENSELY re-readable I find endless/cruel summer to be. I think what calls me to come back to it, and think about your story time and time again are the collective decisive narrative moments. Especially, Part 7 where the narrative begins to converge with season four's plot-line.
It's one of crossroads where I cant help but think What if? Where would the characters be if they hadn't been thrown into that supernatural setting and remained in a mundane setting? Do you think Eddie would have discovered Reader was still in town, or would they have co-existed in Hawkins completely removed from each other's orbit with him being none the wiser?
I'm curious if this is something you've given any thought to!
p.s. it's been a delight to read endless summer and slowly watch our beloved dyad become more recognizable to who they develop to be in cruel summer. agh! good stuff!!
Bestie oh my God…. oh mY GOD you’re really gonna make me write another fic CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT???? I gotta sit down… I gotta think about this
#asks#celestialpercy#cruel summer asks#also this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said#the fact that you all love this fic so much really is a balm to my soul#I wrote this silly little fic to channel my feelings while my dad was dying and you’re just out here helping me heal#truly this is a wonderful community#and I’m so lucky to have you all here with me#the BIGGEST hugs for everyone
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sooo glad we live in the universe where twdgs4 was rewritten to be about saving the school instead of the original lis2-esque on the road each-episode-is-a-new-location plot. really dodged a bullet there
dont know if it was due to the cuts and collapsing work environment (no budget for all the assets needed) or what but the school plot is just like the perfect setting for her to end her story. and we really almost got a plot about her.... just trying to make it back to her original house? oof
#my biggest problem with lis2 is that being on the road made a lot of your choices essentially meaningless#like wheres the threat of consequence when you know youll be gone by the next episode anyway?#the kids were originally gonna kick them out permanently.......Nightmare Scenario#the plot of her trying to get back 'home' is so silly honestly like its Just nostalgia/fan bait. convince me otherwise you cant#it makes no sense....she lived right outside a major city... that place is Not safe anymore#it wasnt even safe when she left it 8 years ago girl why would you go back#her finding a place to MAKE a new home and having to fight for it? with a community of her peers who love and respect her? so much better#shes a community leader now :) of a bunch of kids living secretly in the woods just trying to make a safe home for themselves#in a hostile world that wants them dead#love that for her#shes been managing adults since she was 11 and even before that tried to be a voice of reason. at 8 years old. community leader makes sense#s4 is just so narratively sound to me for clems character that i cant believe there was ever any other direction they wanted to go in#every time im thinking about how good s4 is i remember what it almost was......... and i am so grateful we got what we did#not only do we live in the universe where s4 is about the school but we Also live in the universe where s4 was un-cancelled :) yay#shit makes me so happy man. i remember clem is living happily at ericsons and my day is Immediately improved#these little fictional bitches in my head giving me free serotonin on command#it speaks#twdg
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you know i had a fun little vp idea i wanted to do for the cyberpunk anniversary but i haven't had the energy to even touch it recently so i'll just settle with saying that this game impacted me in ways i never thought it would when i first picked it up 3 years ago. i knew i would enjoy it, i had been looking forward to it for a long time, and despite a ~controversial~ launch, i had a fucking blast from day 1 (on ps4 no less). regardless of bugs and memes and public dunking, the story grabbed me like nothing else could at the time, and it reignited so much of my passion and motivation for art that i had lost in the clutches of mental illness and i'll always be grateful for that. it introduced me to so many wonderful people (some whom i carry very close to my heart), and maybe most personally surprising, it gave me an outlet to understand parts of myself that i had been too afraid to acknowledge for a long time, the courage to accept and embrace myself as non-binary, and allow myself to just BE without trying to convince myself i'm crazy. that's not what i expected from the get-go but it's been a really fun journey to be on ngl
#yeah this fandom been a little rocky in places but i would be lying if i said this community here wasn't special to me#so much love and passion and creativity to be around and be inspired by#so many people who have been impacted by this silly little heartwrenching game#devs who have poured their heart into it to deliver something genuinely incredible#its one of those strange things that really did fully change the trajectory of this little leg of my life#to think that until 3 years ago i hadn't even touched art in a decade#now there are lovely people who want to spend money on my work#3 years ago i bought my first (and only) refurbished ps4 to play this game and now im sitting on a fancy gaming laptop#ive said it before but vp has been such an important creative outlet too#its allowed me to live my dreams of being a film director. a cinematographer. a writer.#the whole game has let me be so damn self-indulgent sometimes i feel like a kid again just unashamedly playing barbie#finding the JOY of just. creating.#i learned so much about myself through an OC because of this game#it went from 'huh what is this feeling? gender envy?' to being like full blown 'oh yea. i get it now.' so much of my life makes sense kfslf#and i met people who mean the world to me on top of it all#woof anyways#i know i say it a lot but genuinely thank u to yall who have encouraged me and supported me and who enjoy the things that i make#youve made such a difference in my life without knowing it!
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Feeling and looking good 🌈 (Patreon)
#Doodles#Even tho it hasn't been that long it still feels like I while since I've been in my doodle rotation lol just a lower density for a while#I forget if I mentioned the first time my favourite chair broke? It doesn't feel familiar in my head so I'll give a quick rundown lol#I frequent a rocking chair <3 It's the blue one I sometimes draw digitally :D And it's starting to show its age haha#I'm not very gentle on furniture - as evidenced by it breaking Again lol#There's a specific screw in its front-right support that takes the most pressure from me getting up and sitting down#It gets stressed and stretched and is more prone to breaking just from use and it's a very integral piece!#This time it broke Really good like I thought I could fix it myself - I could not lol the screw casing had to be removed from the wood pft#But it's fixed now! Back to rocking :) Yaay <3#Small silly set of wanting attention haha#Got it in small increments! But got it! Fully! Always happy for it haha#What was that joke doodle I made once - something like ''I have to be talked to every [XX] hours or I'll get sad'' lol#I mean it's not Untrue pft#I enjoy it <3#And the last one! Multimedia art actually!! Ah!#The latest CJ the X video about fashion Spoke To Me - I mean most of their work tends to lol but this one...yeah#Being raised in disparate little pockets of culture unfixed from a larger cultural language and feeling lost for it......../yeah/#And I do find a lot of comfort in the question being reframed from ''What do you like'' to ''Who are you? What are you?''#I don't know what I like! Not style-wise not on this body that I'm in possession of! I like what's comfortable but that doesn't Say much#Using fashion as a signal to others that I'd very much like to be viewed a certain way and learning the ''words'' to communicate that! Ah!!#So I looked up some What-and-Who fashions I wanted to emulate and ended up in an outfit of my own clothes that looked really great on me!!#Tank top with rolled-up sleeves on the button down over it - defuser necklace - my favourite black pants and shoes with Tamagotchis hehe#And of course my rainbow bracelet <3 I felt quite handsome :)#It's not something I've done again since with different clothes but it makes me Want to! I want to be seen by those I'm winking at haha#I think it's quite lovely :)
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Love is you ❤️
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I suppose to finish this before Valentines but something came up ;w; pls accept this as this year's valentines art zzzz
#i am still very obsesed with young utonium with his dumb emo hair thank you so much for asking ✌️😗#no this is not their first kiss hhh they had their first kiss at the planetarium#i wrote that before you can check it in my ship tag hhh#but anyway i always love the idea that this man had 0 experience on dating and kissing#and Chloe's the one that teaches him how to kiss and such so in the end he initiates it by himself hhh silly little meow meow#ok i will go to sleep thinking about them now goodnight snore mimimimimi-#asukart#selfshipping community#selfship#selfshipping#selfship community#selfship art#self insert#self insert community#self insert oc#self insert art#oc x canon#si x canon#ppg professor#professor utonium#you had me at hello 📝
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You know, the funniest thing I can say on Pouf's birthday is that I'm much more open about the fact that I had a fictive of him for at least 2 years
#the man was genuinely integral to my recovery process between the coping through self insert#and him trying to communicate to me while half commandeering my brain#yeah he's a silly little guy but he's so dearly important to me even when I'm not really posting about him#that's why i settled on the tattoo of his wings; no matter what distance from the character i might get#i refuse to deny how he's a good portion of my recovery; of how i see myself in the world; of how i can see my own past#his arc is a lot of my own trauma reflected and exaggerated!! of course i clung to him#and he gave me so much in return.. it's like all the love i gave truly did come back to me#happy birthday pouf. I'm still amazed by you and will always be grateful to you. i love you.#shai speaks#i even named myself in his honor. and even after all this i still kept the name#it felt like a puzzle piece clicking into place when i first chose it and while it doesn't have that same feeling#it's more.. homely in a sense. it's the name my friends use for me. it's so tangled in my perception of and sense of self#that it only feels right to keep it
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