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Part 4 - Three Bats Walk Into a Food Court (And Also a Person)
~~~~~✨~~~~~
Jason’s brother was a dick. Without a doubt, 100%, an asshole. Said brother had insisted on meeting up for Sibling Bonding Jaybird! No, this was not ‘sibling bonding’, this was the result of the asshole losing a bet with Steph, having to go shopping with her as forfeit – and dragging Jason into the nightmare under false pretences.
“Dick.” Jason spat from the backseat, meaning it in every sense.
“Yes Lil’ Wing?” The Dick-in-question responded from the driver’s seat as he pulled into a parking space at the mall.
“Richard.”
Richard (Dick) Grayson gasped in horror. “No! You can’t full name me I’m older than you!”
Steph snorted in the passenger seat. “It’s your legal name, not your full name, dumbass.”
“Then you can’t legal-name me! I’ll tell Alfred!”
Jason raised an eyebrow, reaching into his jacket pocket for his wallet. “Oh really? You’ll tell Alfred?”
“Yes.”
Steph watched the exchange eagerly, hitting record on her phone to capture whatever followed. “Oh this’ll be good.”
Jason produced a card from his wallet and presented it to Dick. “There you go.”
“I told you writing ‘I do what I want’ on a card doesn’t count as any kind of permit. I’m a cop, I’m not gonna fall for that.” He scoffed, before adding in a mutter. “Again.”
“Nothing of the sort, Dickolas – look at the card.” Jason insisted.
“What? This one? Fine.” Dick sighed, before beginning to read in a mocking tone. “Master Jason has every right and my permission to legal-name Master Rich—” He trailed off. “What the fuck? Alfred is in on this?!”
“It was his idea, actually.” Steph commented. “Something about how someone has to do it when he’s not available.”
“Why the fuck does Jason have it?!”
“I was nominated.” Jason shrugged.
“That doesn’t answer my question?!”
“Well,” Steph started, beginning to count them off on her fingers, “Damian is the baby, so you’d never take it seriously. Duke was busy with finals at the time. Cass didn’t want it. I’m apparently not ‘mature’ enough, or something. Tim can barely take care of himself and keeps forgetting to sleep so it couldn’t be him. Babs already has authority over you and Bruce wasn’t involved.”
“Plus we don’t listen to the Old Man anyway.” Jason added.
Dick stared at them, mouth hanging open. “What qualified Jason?!”
“Well he did start his own very successful business.” Steph mused.
“He became a Crime Lord!”
“His Business has many departments, and he handles all of them without resorting to over-caffeination and sleep deprivation.”
“He’s literally a vigilante.”
“We’re all vigilantes, get with the program. He was the best one for the job.” Steph replied, climbing out of the car and tapping away on her phone, probably sending the video to the Bat-siblings group chat.
“But I’m the oldest.” Dick whined, making his way around the front of the car to stand with Steph.
“Precisely why you need someone to legal-name you, can’t have you getting too cocky now, can we?” Steph teased, looking up from her phone and pinching at one of Dick’s cheeks.
“No we cannot.” Jason agreed. “I’m in the front on the way back, by the way, I can’t believe you stuffed me in the backseat.” He shut the door with perhaps a touch more force than was necessary, just to see his brother’s face scrunch up in displeasure.
“Please don’t slam the door. I like this car.”
“Oops.” Jason deadpanned.
Steph chose that moment to interrupt. “Not my fault you’re gigantic, I was there first.” She flicked her hair off her shoulder. “I didn’t choose the Passenger Princess life, it chose me.”
“Well, next time you can ‘passenger princess’ in the back, your highness.” Jason bowed mockingly. “Then you can stretch out across the backseat.”
“Solid point – I call backsies when we’re done here!”
“You cannot stretch out on the backseat while I’m driving that’s illegal.”
Jason and Steph stared at Dick for a moment, then – realising he was serious – tried and failed to stifle their laughter.
“Wow.” Steph gasped, smacking Jason’s shoulder in her amusement. “That’s hilarious, holy crap.”
“Yeah, alright Dickhead, sure.” Jason snorted.
“I’m serious.”
“Jeez if you’re that worried, I’ll drive.” Jason shrugged. “Can’t have the ‘passenger princess’ not playing passenger.”
Dick pressed his fingers together and into his chin. “I just said I like this car, you are not driving it.”
“You know I’m the best driver out of the clan, excluding Alfred, of course.” Jason protested.
“You drive like you have nothing to live for.” Dick pointed out, immediately regretting his words.
“Well yeah, I died.”
“Oh my God.” Dick threw his hands in the air, spinning on his heel and marching towards the entrance to the mall. “Nope, you are not driving my car. Let’s go get this done before you people drive me to the dark timeline.”
Steph and Jason trailed after him, sniggering.
Eventually, with only one instance of Jason ramming Dick into a concrete planter in the parking lot, the trio made it into the mall. Steph had stowed her phone and set off at a truly impressive – if you didn’t know she was a vigilante who leapt from rooftops after hours – pace for the other side of the complex.
“Steph! Slow down!” Dick begged, hopelessly.
“Dick! Hurry up!” Steph responded.
“Why are you going all the way to the other side of the mall? Don’t you wanna look here?” Dick blurted, confused.
“Dicky-boy, why don’t you know how to shop?” Steph halted in her march, facing them to shake her head. “The answer is so obvious!”
“No it’s not?!” Came Dick’s desperate reply.
Jason sighed, deciding to help his idiot older brother. “We’re starting further so we finish closer, dumbass.”
“Ohhh.”
“Yes, ‘ohhh’, fuckin’ idiot.”
Steph smirked, spinning back on her heel and setting off again with a flick of her hair over her shoulder. Her minions associates following close behind.
Truthfully, this situation was Danny’s fault, He hadn’t been looking where he was going and now, he was drenched in several hot drinks and covered in three different kinds of fries. In his defence, he was running on probably 20 minutes of sleep and still injured – with all that on top of literally being half dead – it’s fair to say he was a little out of it.
“Well, that’s not ideal.” Danny muttered.
That didn’t quite cover it, but it was better than the expletives that had filled the air following his collision with a tall, dark-haired and blue-eyed man carrying a tray of food court fare. The tray of food that was now all over Danny and the man himself.
“Oh my God I’m so sorry are you okay?!” The man exclaimed.
“Are these chilli cheese fries? I’d ask if you recommend them but I’m guessing you haven’t tried them.” Danny asked, only to be met with silence. “Okay, wrong crowd, it’s fine – don’t worry.”
“Uh, you sure, kid? You’re covered in – well – a whole lotta stuff.” A blonde woman in a purple sweatshirt pointed out.
“I’m not a kid,” Danny grunted, “and I’ve been covered in worse things.”
“When and how?” Some jock-looking dude with a white streak in his black hair – weird fashion statement but go off, I guess – asked, seeming genuinely surprised.
“Um, people like you aren’t exactly ‘besties’ with people like me?” Danny stated, gesturing to – well – all of the guy in question before doing the same to himself. “I end up in lockers and trashcans because I fit?”
“What do you mean ‘people like you?” The guy asked, somewhere between insulted and concerned.
“Uh, jocks? What did you think I meant?”
“You – hah – you think Jason is a jock?!” The guy who Danny bumped into in the first place laughed from the floor where he’d landed post-collision.
“Uh,” Danny started, “I did, though it looks like I was wrong? Sorry, man.”
“It’s fine, kid.” Jason responded, raising an eyebrow with half a smile, daring him to say anything.
“I probably deserved that.” Danny laughed. “Sorry about your lunch, I guess?”
“It’s fine.” The girl assured. “Dick ran into you.”
“I’m sure he’s not a dick!” Danny insisted.
She laughed out loud with Jason while the other guy just smiled.
“She’s not calling me names, don’t worry.” His smile grew. Apparently, he was trying not to laugh, he offered a hand to shake. “My name is Richard, but I go by Dick. The girl about to fall over is Steph, and the guy is Jason.”
“Oh, okay then.” Danny replied, attempting to avoid mentioning that high school must have sucked for this guy.
He decided the ‘Dick’ name must be a Gotham thing, as that Duke guy from the library had a brother was also apparently called that. He shook Dick’s hand, before suddenly recalling that he hadn’t introduced himself.
“Oh, right, I’m Danny.”
“Nice to meet you, Danny – let us help you clean yourself up.”
“Oh no it’s fine don’t worry!” Danny tried. “I can sort myself out later!”
“Nope, I just picked up a couple spare sweaters – I have a lot of siblings and they like to steal them – so you and Dick will go change while Steph and I order some more lunch and let one of the workers know about the mess.” Jason insisted, handing Dick his bag before adding; “You like fries, Danny?”
“Yeah? Wait what?”
“Great! Thanks Jay!” Dick called, accepting the bag and grabbing Danny’s hand, half-dragging and half-guiding the boy to the nearest restroom.
Outside the cubicles, Dick handed Danny a sweater.
“Here you go! Blue for you and red for me!”
“Why?”
“Well, blue matches your eyes and red is Jason’s favourite colour, so as his brother I like to wear it to remind him I’m secretly his favourite.” Dick laughed.
“I meant, why are you being so nice to me?” Danny asked, staring into the man’s eyes, “I ran into you, spilled your lunch everywhere and yet you guys are giving me a sweater and apparently buying me lunch? It doesn’t make sense.”
“Why shouldn’t I help you out? It wasn’t your fault, just bad luck.” Dick asked.
“Hah, I seem to get a lot of that.” Danny mumbled, before speaking up, “You don’t even know me.”
“Why should that stop me from helping you out if I can?” He paused a moment, noticing the lines of distrust etched into Danny’s expression, “ Maybe you remind me of my brother.”
“Jason?”
“Yeah,” Dick nodded.
“How? He’s, and I mean this in the nicest possible way, huge – I’m average-sized at best and compared to that guy I’m a shrimp.”
“He wasn’t always linebacker-sized,” Dick snorted, “He used to be smaller than you – scrappy too.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Well, I guess there’s a little more to it than that,” Dick pondered, “We didn’t get along all that well when we were younger, I still regret that. We missed a lot of time together that I wish I could get back.”
“That’s, um, deep?” Danny shifted foot-to-foot, “Thanks – I think?”
“No worries – happy to help!” Dick beamed.
Danny accepted the sweater awkwardly, not sure how to deal with the information that this random dude had just dropped in his lap. He shook it off, heading into the cubicle to change.
Dick watched for half a second, suddenly hit by a wave of emotion. He shook his head, clinging onto the look in Danny’s eyes as a distraction – the same look that was etched into everything Jason did as a child, and reared it’s head even now, at times. The desperation, the mistrust, and worst of all – the way he seemed to accept it as inevitable, like it wasn’t a surprise. Dick didn’t mention that he heard Danny’s comment about having a lot of bad luck. He didn’t mention that the kid looked tired, too thin – he didn’t mention how bony he felt when they collided.
If he texted Jason to get an extra serving or two of fries, that was between him and his Little Wing. If Jason had a few milkshakes along with the fries waiting for them – Dick’s favourite flavour, too – that was simply a coincidence. Steph said nothing, and Danny had no way of knowing.
By the end of lunch, Danny had weaselled Jason’s address out of him, so he could return the sweater once he’d washed it (the kid insisted, though Jason wouldn’t have minded if he never saw the sweater again). Danny wasn’t as subtle as he hoped, but it was hard to get anything by bat-trained vigilantes, and Jason shared the information easily – hopeful that the kid would come if he was ever in any trouble too.
The group bid their goodbyes, Danny heading out on his own, the others returning to their shopping. Soon enough, distracted with their lives and heroics, the vigilantes forgot about the boy with icy eyes, who watched with distrust. A week later, Jason received a package in the mailbox, inside of which was the sweater, some candy and a green post-it note:
‘Thanks for the sweater, and the fries – see you around.
– Danny’
The traces of Lazarus water on the note were only discovered when the other message appeared, weeks later.
‘When her Knights have been called, and arrive on the scene,
Release him, only together can you all win.
If the True shall be bold, you’ll learn where he’s been,
When all is as it should be, the city bells will ring.
– CW’
“Do you ever think Batman gets sad?” Young Danny asks his father as he gets tucked into bed one night.
“I don’t think so, son.” Jack responds, kissing Danny’s head.
Ten years later, as Danny is nearly bleeding to death in Batman’s arms after being found in an alley, he finally understands. Batman can get sad, but he can also be very, very angry at the same time.
#do you think batman ever gets sad#dc x dp#everlasting trio#dc#danny phantom#my writing#my work#my thoughts#more to come
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♡⃟࿔ BETWEEN FEIGNED HATRED AND REAL DESIRE ♡⃟࿔
𑁤 Summary: You can't stand Jungkook, your brother's arrogant, cocky friend who is just waiting for an opportunity to annoy you. He always finds a way to get under your skin, and you were sure that what you hated more than him was the idea of having any feelings for him. But one accident changes everything. Left with him in a locked, cramped room, where every breath is a fire between you two, you realizes that you hatred has always been hidden behind something deeper. Something that cannot be denied, cannot be ignored.
𑁤 Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ The Reader, Jungkook • Y/N
𑁤 Age restrictions: 18+
𑁤 Size: one shot
𑁤 Tags: best friend brother, school au, y/n Hoseok sister, from enemies to lovers, sexual tension, unprotected sex, detailed description of sexual scenes, swear words, slightly domJK.
𑁤 Dedication: A late Valentine's Day gift 💘 @myjungkookthighs, @kelsyx33, @someoneelse0109, @mskookie, @kooccult, , @smokinghotstargirl , @curse-of-art, @rispwr, @kooko007, @medstudentlifestyle
𑁤 From author: Another of my fantasies that resulted in this, in my opinion, an interesting work. It seems that there are many such works, but you know each author writes in his own way 🥹💕 Therefore, please enjoy, this is a gift ( 🤫 Late gift) for Valentine's Day 💞🫶🏻💜
Your story seems is typical. You hated one of your brother's best friends. All five of the Bulletproof boys on your school's volleyball team were just perfect.
Namjoon, tall, strong, and very smart. Jin is tall, funny, and handsome. Yoongi is quiet, talented, and can always talk to you about anything. Jimin is cheerful, charismatic, and has a subtle sense of humor. Taehyung was synonymous with the word beauty, he was cute but also a tomboy.
And him. Jeon Jungkook. He was a walking nightmare who was hotter than fire, but had a temper that pissed you off. His favorite thing to do was to tease you. He would do just that when he came to your house to hang out at a party thrown by Hoseok, your brother, or when you were having lunch at school with your brother and a whole bunch of his friends sat down with you. Jungkook was always there. And you were literally sick of him.
There was tension between you because your conversation always ended with you screaming and wanting to scratch his face.
Today was Valentine's Day and you hated it. Why? Who wouldn't hate those sweet couples in love who kissed or hugged each other almost everywhere they went? Why are they so annoying on this particular day?
Physical education is over, the last class of the day. You took a shower and went to the locker room. The girls were all gathered together, talking, joking about Valentine's Day.
"Girls, let's each say who we would like to fuck today?" - Kim Sora, who was your bestie, suggested. Only the girls from your company were left in the locker room. They were all mostly cheerleaders, but you weren't. "I'd like Namjoon." - She says first. Everyone laughs and Hewon and Seolha say they would like Namjoon too.
"And I would like Yoongi. His aloof and almost bored behavior turns me on so much. I would know how to make him feel better." - Sejong says, and you burst out laughing. She's had her eye on Yoongi for a while now, but he's not paying attention.
"God, I can't decide between Taehyung and Jimin. They're both so hot, can I have both?" - Sumin asks. You laugh again as you put on your sweatpants. You look at yourself in the mirror.
"Y/N hope you'll forgive me, but I'd like to fuck your brother." - Arin says. You turn to her and grimace.
"Goshhh, Arin, I thought you had better taste." - The girls laugh, but you don't. You genuinely don't understand what girls find sexy about your brother. But fortunately, you don't have to.
"And you're Y/N? You're the only one who hasn't said yet." - Arin laughs and all the girls pay attention to you. You are a little nervous about their attention, and you walk back to the bench where your T-shirt was lying. You put it on.
"I don't know, I don't think I'm interested in any of the Bulletproofs." - You say casually.
"No, you're a liar." - Sora says, and you turn a sharp look at her. You raise your eyebrows. No. She's not going to tell you about him. "Girls, do you know who she dreams of fucking?" - Sora smiles slyly.
"Don't you dare talk about him." - You threaten your bestie , who breaks into an even more evil smile. All the girls squeal almost in unison.
"Who? Who is it?" - Arin squeals.
"Who is our impregnable ice queen dreaming about? Is it Yoongi?" - Hewon asked.
"Hey, Yoongi is mine!" - Shouted Sejong.
"No, I don't want your Yoongi!" - You said. You hurriedly started to pack your things so that you could run away before Sora said anything about him.
"No, it's not Yoongi." - Sora said. She was silent for a moment. You gave her an angry look and said with one lip, "I'm going to kill you." "It's Jungkook." - Sora finally said, and everything broke inside you. All the girls gasped.
"Jungkook?" - Hewon shouted out. "She hates him just as much as he hates her."
"I don't want him." - You said harshly. All the girls stared at you. "I barely live on the same planet as him, and you're saying this." - For some reason you were trying to justify yourself. And when you realized it, you decided it was better to leave. "Don't say stupid anymore like that. I'm going home." - You said more calmly. You stopped at the threshold and turned to Sora. "Sora, you are in trouble." - You smiled sweetly and hurried away.
You were so angry. You couldn't stand Jungkook, how could you want him? He was so horrible. You walk away with quick steps, clutching your bag. Your chest burns with anger mixed with shame. How could she do that? How could she say that out loud?
You raced down the path from the gym, clutching the straps of your bag so tightly that your knuckles turned white. Your heart was pounding and your cheeks were burning. Jungkook? Was it him? Why the hell would Sora say something like that in front of everyone?
You stopped, took a deep breath. You never want him. You can't stand him. He's been annoying you since the first day you met him. He's arrogant, self-confident, always sure of his own attractiveness.
And for some reason... You stopped abruptly when you saw him. Jungkook stood next to his motorcycle, wearing a black T-shirt that fit his muscular body and above it black bomber. He was twirling his helmet in his hands, and his eyes slid over you as if by accident.
Your face flushed even more. He raised an eyebrow.
"What?" - He said, smiling slightly. You took a step back in confusion.
"Nothing!" - You answered too sharply. His smile grew wider, almost impudent.
"You look..." - He tilted his head, studying you. "Tense."
"Go to hell, Jungkook." - You gritted your teeth and tried to walk away, but he quickly grabbed your wrist. You froze.
He took another step closer, leaning in so that you could smell his perfume. For some reason, your heart started pounding furiously.
"Wait." - He purred.
"Are you crazy? Let go of me. What do you want?" - You hissed, trying to pull your hand away, but he only squeezed your wrist tighter. His eyes darkened and a strange pleasure appeared in his voice.
"By any chance, were you thinking about me right now?" - His voice was as mocking as ever.
"You…!" - You choked with anger.
"Because you blushed." - He added hoarsely. Something tightened in your chest. You going to kill Sora.
"If you don't let go now, you'll lost your golden bells." - You threaten, and your face expresses absolute anger. He laughs, but lets go. Because you usually keep your words. You give him a scorching look and walk home.
You get almost home, and when you want to call your oppa, you are horrified to realize that there is no phone. You dig through your pockets and search your bag, but it's not there. Damn it, you must have left it in the locker room.
You swear about everything, cursing this day, and go back to school. It takes you at least 30 minutes to get to the locker room. Almost no one is in the school anymore. You look for your phone, but it's nowhere to be found. You swear again and try to figure out where you could have left it. You desperately searched for your phone in the locker room, under the benches, in your things. But it was nowhere to be found. Fuck!
You exhaled loudly and ran a hand through your hair. Someone must have found it by now and taken it away.
"Looks like that girl has sown something again." - You flinched at the familiar voice. You turned sharply to find Jungkook standing at the door, arms crossed over his chest.
"What do you want?" - You asked abruptly. He shrugged his shoulders.
"I saw you running like a madman. I figured you were in trouble again." - He said bored. But his gaze was absolutely focused on you.
"I'm not in trouble!" - You were indignant.
"Yeah, you're just running around grumbling to yourself." - Jungkook said with a slight smile. You rolled your eyes.
"I just left my phone here." - You said, irritated. Jungkook shrugged again, but suddenly started walking around the locker room, looking under the benches. You raised your eyebrows and watched him. "What are you doing?" - You asked.
"Helping you find it." - He said looking at the windowsill.
"I didn't ask you to. Get out." - You say harshly, turning away from him. Although for some reason you don't want him to leave. And you want to hit yourself for feeling this way.
"Come on." - He said, coming closer. You glanced over your shoulder. He put his hands in his pockets and tilted his head. "What's wrong with helping my best friend's sister."
You turned away and grimaced, but inside you still felt a little relieved.
A few minutes later, you walked out of the locker room, and you looked around again, trying to remember where else you might have left your phone.
"Maybe in the gym?" - Jungkook suggested.
"Maybe..." - You mumbled, holding a little further away from him. He silently turned around and headed that way. "Hey! I told you, I don't need your help!" - You said, trying to get rid of him.
"Then just don't follow me!" - He threw over his shoulder without even stopping. You gritted your teeth and followed him anyway.
The gym was empty. You walked around it, looked in all the corners, and suddenly Jungkook stopped at a small room with sports equipment.
"Have you looked here yet?" - He asks, peering in. He walks over and opens the door wider. "I saw you go in here in class to get a ball." - Jungkook remembers.
"I wouldn't leave it here." - You argue, coming up behind him. He turns his head toward you.
"I think we should check here too." - He said and went inside. You looked at him skeptically and followed him inside.
The storage room was small, filled with balls, mats, and other equipment. You cautiously walked around the small room. It was lit by a single small window, through which the rays of the setting sun were breaking through. While you were looking at the stand with the volleyballs, you suddenly heard something. A click. The door closed. And immediately there was a sound that made you freeze. A lock.
"No, no, no..." - You turned around jerkily and pulled the doorknob. But in vain. You heard footsteps outside.
"Yeah... I think this is the last one." - You heard a muffled voice. "Finally, all the rooms are closed."
You pressed yourself against the door.
"HEY! SOMEONE HELP US! SOMEONE IS HERE!" - You pounded on the door, but nothing seemed to happen. Jungkook laughed.
"Damn, that's funny." - He said leaning on the stand. You slowly turned your head to him.
"You think it's funny?" - You squeaked. He held up his hands. "We've been locked in here. And probably on purpose."
"Hey, calm down. It's an accident, who would lock us in here on purpose?" - He asked skeptically. You slammed the door with your palm.
"Damn it!!! You're to blame for this!" - You screamed.
"Me?" - Jungkook was genuinely surprised.
"You dragged me here!" - You countered. He laughed out loud.
"My baby, you chose to follow me." - Jungkook said defiantly through hysterical laughter.
"Don't call me that!" - You shouted. You were shaking with anger. You'd lost your phone somewhere, but worse than that, you were locked in a small room with a man you couldn't stand.
"What? 'My baby' this word makes you angry?" - He asked again and smiled again. You looked around frantically.
"We have to get out of here. Call someone, Hosoku or whoever, and get us out." - You said.
"Oh, of course we have to get out. Otherwise, you'll be stuck with me in a cramped room..." - He suddenly took a step closer. "...alone." - You clenched your fists. Reflexively stepping back to the door.
"Don't do this. Just pick up the fucking phone and call my brother." - You said.
"Don't do what?" - Jungkook stopped one step away. You took another step back. There must be a door somewhere. "I think you don’t want that I’m really calling to anyone." - He said, leaning closer. You froze. He smiled slightly, his gaze sliding over your face, then to your lips. "Even you don't mind?" - Your heart beat faster. But you had to control yourself. You clenched your teeth.
"If you don't shut up now..." - You threatened, losing what little self-control you had when Jungkook pinned his gaze on your lips and took another half step closer.
"What?" - He lowered his voice. You could hear the noise in your ears and the frantic pounding of your heart. Jungkook must have heard it too, because he suddenly smiled mysteriously.
"I'm going to kill you." - You tried to say in your usual tone. The one you used every time you spoke to Jungkook. But as he stood so close and looked at your lips, you heard your voice break.
"Really?" - He asked. You suddenly realized the gravity of the situation and seemed to see yourself from the outside. You were like an antelope being caught by a lion.
You were ready to kick him, but he suddenly grabbed your wrist and sharply pushed you against the front door. Your heart was pounding even faster. His face was close. Too close.
"If you hate me so much..." - His voice was hoarse. "Why are you embarrassed next to me?" - You wanted to protest. You don't get embarrassed next to him. He always annoys you, and all you do is get angry and yell at him. Jungkook leaned in even closer, his lips near your ear. "If I kiss you now, will you push me away?" - He whispered. You felt his breath on your skin and knew he was playing with you. But what was even worse was that, against your will, you began to like this game.
You leaned back against the front door, your pulse pounding in your temples, and Jungkook's breath barely touching your skin.
"I'll push you away." - You gritted out, trying to raise your hands to push him away, but he grabbed them and pinned them behind your back, intertwining your fingers. You tried to get free, but he held you tighter. His closeness and the smell of his perfume made your legs go limp. He smiled.
"Oh, you do?" - He asked boldly. Your nails dug painfully into his palms.
"Don't play with me, Jungkook." - You threaten, looking into his eyes filled with mischief. "I'm going to tell Hoseok that you were hitting on me." - Jungkook giggled softly.
"You won't." - He said confidently. "Because you like what I do." - His lips were almost touching your ear. You flinched, but tried to pull away from him anyway.
"I don't like it. You're too confident." - You said firmly. He pressed even closer, and then... backed away. You were breathing heavily, trying to catch your breath. Jungkook had stirred up something in you that you weren't supposed to feel before.
"Do you want me to stop to make fun of you?" - He suddenly asked. You raised your eyebrows and shifted on your feet.
"What?" - You asked quietly. Jungkook smiled predatory.
"I suggest we end this here. Once and for all. Here's the deal. You do one thing I ask and I'll never make fun of you again." - He offered. It sounds tempting. The prospect of getting rid of Jungkook forever is too tempting.
"What are you suggesting?" - You ask sharply.
"Kiss me." - He says. You are frozen. But then you almost laughed.
"Are you silly? What kind of nonsense is that?" - You laugh. Jungkook takes a step forward and you don't take your eyes off him.
"Just kiss me and this will be over." - Jungkook says. You clench your jaw. Should you kiss him? Only if the world ends.
"I won't..." - You say indignantly. Jungkook is close again, and your pulse is pounding in your temples.
"Why, are you scared?" - He smiles even wider. "Do you think you'll like it?"
You grit your teeth. He dares you. He's just playing with you. He won't leave you alone even if you kiss him now. The thought of kissing him is driving you crazy. If you do it now, he'll laugh forever.
But...
Why did your hand suddenly almost jerk forward? Why did his gaze seem to evoke something hot and uncontrollable inside you? You took a deep breath. Could he be serious now? You don't know if you can trust him one hundred percent, but for some reason you think he's serious.
"Okay." - You finally agree. Jungkook raises an eyebrow.
"What?" - His voice is pure surprise. You took a step toward him, grabbed him by the collar of his bomber jacket, and go on your tiptoes, slowly reaching for his lips... You could almost feel his warmth when he pulled away at the last moment.
You froze. You opened your eyes and saw his sly smile.
"You..." - You said quietly, boiling with rage. He laughed, brazenly, smugly, his eyes sparkling with pleasure. How humiliating.
"So you really want to kiss me? You said you didn't like it. You didn't really think I'd let you do it that easily, did you?" - The blood rushed to your head.
"You... asshole." - You punched him in the chest, but he just laughed.
"Oh, I'm sorry, you were so determined to kiss me. Did you really? You hate me so much and you wanted to kiss me?" - He asks through his laughter. You got even more angry and started to hit him, but he quickly caught your arms and turned you around, pinning you against the wall again. He pinned you from behind and you felt his crotch pressing against your ass. You were breathing fast.
"That's enough, baby. I don't want to fight you." - He mumbled in your ear. His fingers tightened around your wrists, which he had pinned against the wall. "I thought you were so cold..." - His voice dropped to a whisper. "But you're heating up faster than I thought."
"Let go of me." - You hissed, wriggling away. But he didn't listen.
Instead, he turned you around and before you could realize it, he was kissing you. Hotly, greedily, so that your breath hitched and your thoughts were mixed. He pressed against you harder, and you... You didn't push him away.
On the contrary, your fingers tightened involuntarily on his bomber jacket. You hated him. But... You wanted it.
When he pulled away from you, his lips were still barely touching yours, and his voice sounded bold and deep at the same time.
"Should we stop?" - He asked. You were breathing heavily, your mind screaming no, but your body was reaching forward treacherously. His gaze burned you. Deep, dark, filled with something that made your body stiffen and your heart pound furiously in your chest.
Jungkook's lips barely touched your cheek, then slowly slid down to your jawline. His breath is hot and tickles your skin, making you shiver.
"I knew it." - He whispers. "You're not pushing me away."
"I..." - You stutter, not sure what to say. His hands, warm and strong, slid down your body. He slipped his hand under your sweatpants and squeezed your buttocks as if he didn't want to let go, as if he wanted to leave a mark on you-not just on your skin, but deeper, somewhere you'd never let him touch.
"Mmm?" - His lips touched your ear. "What are you going to say now?" - You wanted to say that this was a mistake. That you didn't want this. But your breath gave you away. Deep, shuddering, with an echo of desire. Jungkook smiled slightly, his other hand slowly moving up along your waist, tugging at the fabric of your T-shirt. "Do you want me to stop?"
His lips descended to your neck, a light bite, a burnt touch of his tongue that sent an electric shock through your body.
"Tell me..." - He demanded, grabbing your chin, forcing you to look into his eyes. You couldn't say no. Because your fingers had already slid over his chest, you could feel the muscles rippling under the fabric, and your body was treacherously searching for him.
"Jungkook..." - His name sounded almost pleading on your lips.
And before you knew it, his lips were on yours again, even hotter, even more greedy. This kiss was no longer a game. It was real. And you already knew you had given in.
His hand that had been squeezing your buttocks slid down your thighs and came to your front. Without taking his lips from yours, he parted your folds and touched your clit with his fingers. You unconsciously moaned into his mouth. He smiled into your lips.
He massaged your clitoris so gently and so wonderfully that you thought that if he hadn't been holding you down, you would have fallen over. The circular movements on your sensitive center were driving you crazy.
Jungkook plunged his fingers into your passage and finally pulled away from your lips. You were both breathing heavily, very close together. You felt his hard cock resting against your thigh.
"You're so wet for me, baby." - He whispers breathlessly. You can't speak, because the friction from his fingers prevents you from doing so. "Do you want more? I can fuck you right now." - Jungkook offers. You raise your eyebrows, moaning softly. Jungkook pulls up your t-shirt to reveal your breasts.
You're not wearing a bra. You didn't put it on after gym class because you were sweating and didn't want to wear a dirty bra. You didn't plan to go back to school, but you forgot your phone.
"I've always wondered what those nipples taste like." - Jungkook hummed and leaned over to one of them. His lips captured your sensitive flesh and sucked. You felt him smile. You held his shoulders and tried not to go crazy with his skillful fingers inside you.
"Jungkook..." - You called out to him. He didn't answer. He just moved to your other nipple and played with it with his tongue. "Please..." - You breathed out. The Jungkook left your nipple and you felt the cold air contrasting with the licked nipple.
"What is it baby?" - He asked into your lips then. But suddenly he pulls his hand out and puts his fingers into his mouth. You breathe heavily and watch him suck his fingers soaked in your cum. "You really want me to fuck you?" - Jungkook wants to make sure. You bite your lip, unable to say it out loud. But yes. You do want him to fuck you.
Jungkook glanced between your bodies. His hard cock was already resting against your pussy. He made a few thrusts and you squeezed his clothes harder.
"Go ahead and say it, or I won't continue." - He says tensely. A hush escapes your lips.
"You're lying." - Suddenly, your voice cuts through. "You won't be able to stop now." - Jungkook laughs. You're so damn right. He's either going to fuck you or…he's going to fuck you.
"You're such a smart girl. But you have to let me." - He warns you gently. But you don't answer right away. You think again that this could be a joke. What if will you let him now and he walks away again? And then what? Or you'll let him fuck you now and he'll tell someone that you begged him.
"Do you want me?" - You asked, instead of letting him. Jungkook pulled away and looked into your eyes. He saw how much you wanted him. He wanted you too, your question was so stupid.
"Isn't it obvious?" - He asked with an arched eyebrow. You ran your fingers down his neck, took out his hair and dipped it in your hands, stroking it.
"Just say it. Do you want to fuck me right now?" - You asked, smiling seductively. Jungkook smiled back reflexively. His eyes grew darker.
"Fuck it!" - He cursed. "Yeah. I want to fuck you so hard you can't sit up." - He said with anticipation in his voice. He put his hands on your hips and squeezed them. You smile satisfied, now you can let him.
"Then do it Jeon." - You say and his lips crash against yours. His tongue enters your mouth and finds yours. You get even wetter from his kisses. You want more and he just promised you.
Jungkook breaks your kiss and in one swift movement leaves you without your sweatpants and panties. He falls to his knees in front of your pussy and his eyes are filled with lust. You breathe raggedly looking down at him. You could never have imagined such a picture in your head. Jungkook smiles at you from the corner of his lips and presses his lips to your pussy.
You grab his shoulders and squeeze them. A moan escapes your lips as his tongue traces long streaks across your folds. Your legs tremble as he sucks on the tip of your clit, and you are just in bliss. You press your head against the door and your moans fill this cramped room.
Jungkook sucks hard on your clit. At one point he plunges his fingers back into your passage to stretch you. You are almost going crazy. It's the first time you've ever been eaten, and it feels so fucking good. Jungkook's skillful tongue takes you to heaven. It doesn't take long for you to come right on his tongue. He feels you twitching and spends some more time his tongue on your clit enjoying every drop of you.
You stop twitching and he finally pulls his lips away from your pussy. You look down at him, breathing heavily. You see his chin shining with your juices.
Jungkook stands up, wiping his chin with his hand. He takes your neck with his hand, pulling you closer.
"As expected, you are as sweet as honey. I should have tasted you sooner. But you hated me." - He says and then kisses you. He puts his tongue in your mouth so you can taste yourself. And it turns you on.
Not one of your boyfriends you've dated has ever eaten you because they thought it was not normal. Even though blow jobs are commonplace for them.
But Jungkook, did it in the first. You've heard about it from your friends and have been dying to try it. You want to laugh at the thought that the first person to eat you was Jungkook and he did it so damn well.
"If I had known that your tongue could do more than just talk nonsense, I would have been more sympathetic to you." - You said with a seductive smile as Jungkook broke your kiss so you could breathe in. He laughed, sincerely and infectiously. You laughed along with him. "So what? Do I have to do to make you feel good?" - You ask and reach for his pants. Jungkook is also wearing sweatpants, so your hand sinks inside without any obstacles, successfully passing through his boxers.
Jungkook pulls away slightly and lowers the looking between your bodies. He only sees your hand disappear somewhere in his pants, but when you feel his length and your fingers pump up the it, he barely holds back a moan. You arched your eyebrows and pretended to look like "not bad."
"You're bigger than I might imagined." - Jungkook looks up at you and smiles cockily. "I thought that if you had such a long tongue, your dick was tiny." - You mock. You couldn't let this opportunity go to waste. Jungkook didn't appreciate your joke. He grabbed your face gently with one hand and he another hand leaned against the wall to steady himself.
"You're going to regret thinking that. Because my cock will make you scream." - He said powerfully against your lips, but you weren't afraid, you smiled playfully,. Before you can say anything in your defense, Jungkook kisses you again. Insistently, authoritatively, and deeply, as if he trying to prove something to you. You pull down his pants and boxers below his buttocks to have a better opportunity to jerk him off.
Jungkook moans into your mouth as you speed up your movements. He's getting hard in your hands and you can feel it well.
Jungkook pulls away from your swollen lips with all his might and stops you.
"That's enough, you better give me your pussy so that you realize how wrong you were." - You smile at his words and let him. He turns your back to him. You hear him moving behind you, obviously pulling his pants down. You press your hands against the door and wait for that moment.
Jungkook takes his cock in his hands and pumps you on buttocks several times. He slams it into your buttocks and you breathe heavily. He touches your folds with his fingers, runs them over your pussy to smear your moisture.
You finally feel the head of his cock touch your entrance. You hold your breath. Jungkook leans down to your ear and whispers one last time.
"Please be quiet, so the whole school doesn't hear you screaming from my cock." - He grabs your head and turns you around to kiss you. Your mind is foggy with lust, excitement, and his words.
Finally, you feel pressure on your passage. Jungkook holds your hips. Slowly but surely, he plunges into you. You feel pain when only his head is inside. You scream out, which makes him smile.
"So you're already regretting thinking that?" - You hear his voice somewhere behind you. You say something unintelligible and then scream again as he presses harder. His cock is really big. The biggest you've ever had inside you. Jungkook hisses. "Fuck you're tight, so tight, baby." - You want to smile but you can't, it hurts. Jungkook finally takes over completely. You both freeze to get used to the sensations. Your hot breath leaves marks on the door.
"That feels so fucking good." - You say quietly, so Jungkook doesn't hear that his cock makes you feel so good.
"Are you okay baby?" - He asks leaning down to your cheek. You smile because you're glad he didn't hear what you said a moment ago.
"Yeah. Everything is fine." - You say honestly.
"Then get ready. Because I'm going to fuck you hard." - He warns. Jungkook straightens up and moves his hips. You bite your lip to keep from screaming. The first movements are painful. The next ones are pain mixed with pleasure. And when Jungkook sets a good pace, you feel absolute bliss. You can't stop moaning. He moves his hips so well creating exactly the friction you like.
But Jungkook doesn't stay gentle for long, at some point his thrusts become sharper, deeper. His fingers touch your thighs with a certain force. The cock presses into you as much as possible and you feel he shudders in your middle.
The sensations are simply incomparable. He is so good at this. Jungkook fucks you perfectly. Like no other. It's just nonsense. The best fuck you've ever had is not with someone you love, it’s with Jungkook, who you hate, and not on white sheets, but in a school in the small room with sports equipment. It's crazy.
"That feels so fucking good. Baby, you're just perfect for me." - Jungkook compliments you. He finds your clit with his hands and you can't stand the stimulation.
"Koo... please..." - You say between exhaling moans.
"What did you call me?" - Jungkook asks as he continues to fuck you. You feel a sweet bliss brewing in your lower abdomen.
"Koo..." - You moan his shortened name.
"Damn... You can call me that whenever you want to fuck." - He offers. You raise your eyebrows and open your mouth. Does he think this is not your only time? Right now, you're almost on the verge of cumming around him. And you think that you wanted it to be more than once, too. You want this amazing sex was constantly. But what will happen when you come out from this room, and you finally realize what you've done.
But the knot in your stomach unravels and you come, clutching Jungkook's cock. He's cursing behind you, and you can feel you squeezing him. He slaps his hips mercilessly, his balls slamming against your ass, and the sinful slaps drive you crazy. Jungkook pulls out abruptly and he comes. His cum spills all over the floor and his hands.
You turn around and see him cumming. He looks over at you when he stops spewing his cum.
You are both breathing heavily. Jungkook pulls on his boxers and pants, which he has slightly polluted. You put on your thong and pants and are afraid to look up at him. Jungkook looks at you and a confident smile spreads across his face. You pretend to fix your clothes.
"You have wipes? We're did a little a mess here." - He says and you hear a smile in his voice. You reach for the bag, but your hands are shaking. The warmth of his touch is still pulsating on your skin, and your breathing seems heavier than it should be.
Jungkook seems to sense your state, so he takes his time. He watches you take out the napkins, how you avoid his gaze, and smiles smugly.
"Are you always this quiet afterwards?" - His voice drops to an almost purring tone.
You start to get angry again, but instead of answering, you just toss him the package of napkins. He catches it with one hand and runs the other through his hair, causing the dark strands to become even more disheveled.
"Are you always this obnoxious afterwards?" - You snap back, finally looking up at him. He wipes his hands and the remaining cum on the floor. He stands up. Jungkook tilts his head to the side as if he's considering your question.
"I don't know." - He slowly moves closer, making you take a step back. "But I know I want to do it again." - Your heart jumps into your throat.
"There's not going to be another time." - You say sharply, straighten your clothes, and pretend nothing happened. Even though you want there to be another time. Jungkook laughs again. Deep, low, and this sound makes you even more confused.
"Why not? You liked it." - He states. You clench your jaws and look at him with a challenge.
"Don't you have anyone else to have fun with?" - You ask. He takes another step, and now there are barely a few centimeters between you. His eyes are dark, attentive, and something dangerous is burning in them.
"No. It's just you now." - He says. Your breath catches in your throat. He kisses you and you don't resist. What could that mean? Is this an invitation to fuck without obligation? But he's so annoying when he doesn't fuck you, how do you deal with it? He pulls away from your lips.
"Just don't tell anyone. This will be our secret. You don't want your brother to kill me, do you?" - Jungkook asks, he strokes your cheekbones. You laugh slyly.
"Half an hour ago, I was dreaming about it." - You admit honestly.
Jungkook smiles, and you see something triumphant in his eyes. You hate it - how he always wins your verbal battles, how he always knows which buttons to push to get you off balance.
But you hate it even more the way your heart jumps out of your chest at his proximity.
"So now you don't dream of my death anymore?" - He touches a strand of your hair as if it were something familiar, as if he had a right to do so. You cross your arms over your chest, trying to maintain control. His fingers slowly slide from your hair to your chin, and he lifts it slightly, forcing you to look directly into his eyes. "Don't worry, baby. I'll have time to make you dream of other things." - He says this with such confidence that your skin crawls with goosebumps. You pretend not to feel it.
"We'll see." - You snap back. Jungkook lets you go. He takes a step back and then pulls your phone out of his pocket.
"I forgot to tell you that I found your phone earlier." - He smiles, and you are frozen with shock. So he set this up? You blink, not fully believing his words.
"You... you found it earlier?" - Your voice trembles a little with anger.
"Yeah." - Jungkook throws the phone to you, and you automatically catch it. "I wanted to see what you'd do when you went back to look for him."
You squeeze the phone in your hand, feeling indignation boiling inside.
"You asshole!" - You punch him in the shoulder, but he doesn't even move, just smiles smugly.
"Maybe a little. But we've had fun, right?" - He takes his phone out of his pocket now. "Let's get out of here."
#jungkook x reader#bts#bts jungkook#jungkook#jungkook x f!reader#jungkook smut#jungkook friends with benefits#jungkook imagine#bts fanfction#jungkook fanfic#jungkook shook au#jungkook brother best friend
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full meltdown because my orthodontist decided to grind down the tips of my teeth without asking and the texture of it is absolutely unbearable.
I didn't want him to grind down my teeth. I just wanted my braces off. I just wanted to be done dealing with him but no. now I have to deal with the most horrendous textures on my teeth and brand new tooth sensitivity that I hadn't had before.
#dental#im convinced#that this is a form of malpractice#or at least its a form of weaseling money out of clients#because informed consent#is a thing#that exists#and i literally cannot stand doing something#if i dont know all the details#and he didnt even say he was gonna do that#he just did it#and now im having a meltdown#full tears#full hand flapping#full snot running down my face#im so annoyed#im so frustrated#im overstimulated#and i want to rip all my teeth out#literally all
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I have thought extensively on the subject. Here goes.
Grave gold seems to be a necromancer thing, not a general-populace Nevarran thing (as far as I can tell?). If Rook is also MW, all good. Emmrich gives Rook ALL. THE. GOLD. until Rook is like, "My sweet, my love, this shit is heavy and my arms now do not move. Help."
If Rook is any other faction, shit gets sociological. Because mortalitasi dowry can't possibly just be "here's a visual representation of my wealth and also some pretty stuff to bury me with." It's a ritual thing. It's got taboos. You should wear most of it all the time except maybe for sleep and definitely not for times when you absolutely shouldn't wear it, either because the occasion pollutes it or vice versa. Maybe there are pieces you never remove. Maybe there are pieces you never wear because of who gave them to you or for what occasion. There are rules around who gives to whom and how much and rules around how much you can buy for yourself. There are rules about whether and how you can give pieces away while you're still living. You definitely can't sell your own dowry, unless the alternative is literal starvation. There might be certain patterns or metals associated with particular orders.
Although (ritual, not medical) corpse contamination doesn't take the same forms in Nevarra as it does in other societies, it or some analogue clearly exists in some form in, for example, the popularity of vegetarianism (corpses are friends, not food). So it's reasonable to assume there are some events/activities/modes of being with which necromancy is not supposed to mix. So maybe, as a compromise, every necromancer removes their dowry for, like, the winter solstice festival or something. Now they are, ritually and temporarily, not a necromancer and they can go party.
BUT SPOUSES, not being mortalitasi, are not beholden to these rituals. Their jewelry is not, in a strict sense, dowry. Therefore it is neither necessary to wear nor under the same restrictions. Rook can choose to wear or not wear the pieces Emmrich gives them in any combination they like, and can wear them on occasions when Emmrich cannot. If there are particular forms or patterns that are restricted to the MW, it stands to reason that Rook can't wear them, unless it's understood that the privilege extends to family.
However, a long time ago some smart people figured out that, on the rare occasion one of these nerds gets out there and attracts one of the Surface Dwellers, it looks really weird for Partner A to be decked out like the worst kind of Christmas tree and Partner B to be wearing less than a first-year novice would consider the bare minimum. Plus all the rest of the nerds are marrying each other, so giving your partner gaudy jewelry is a super basic and normal part of necromancer life. There are poems about it. There are whole epic romances about it. Which means that in Emmrich's mind, NOT giving Rook gold is tantamount to saying, "I don't think you fit in and I wouldn't want you to." The idea wouldn't even occur to him. If he saw another necromancer with an unadorned partner he would privately be very concerned about the state of that relationship, and he might not even identify why at first.
Which also means (and I haven't written this into a fic yet but maybe I will and so should you) that eventually Rook has to set a "no gold as a default gift" rule, because they're building up way more than they can wear and they have a LOT of other interests, and while Emmrich is certainly the World Champion Thoughtful Husband, it would be very easy for our busy professor of Fade studies to rush out and buy a couple of bracelets like stopping by the gas station for some flowers.
Has anyone discussed how a romanced Emmrich would gift Rook their own grave gold (especially if Rook is also MW)? And how they would definitely have sex in nothing but their grave gold? I haven’t seen anything on it but there’s no way this is an original thought.
#emmrich volkarin#emmrook#emmrich x rook#thedan anthropology#necromancers can't not ritualize#it's basically pavlovian#Rook just wants a nice leather tooling kit for their birthday is that so hard#shiny
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i am being so brave trying so hard to hold back writing a rant about that 'minimizing narrative noise' comment on totk sage concept art bc its actively flying around in my head like the worlds most annoying fly
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#i have .... thigns to say...............#i need to wait until i get a look at the entire book#and cant go on rants on single comments#then again .... what else is in there .................#i am dreading this thing#like id rather know that there was trouble during development than having a dozen of shitty comments obviously trying to cover up-#-for something- this CANNOT be true#yes narrative noise is a thing that exists- but in THIS game????????????????????????????????????????????????????????#like you basically cut down the already boring plot into its bare essentials that isnt executed well either#and then add confusion and menaingless detailes like the sage helmets “”connecting“” the sonau to the shiekah#when rly it just makes it more confusing bc the hsiekah a prectically gone- the fuck kind of conenction is there#like THAT is what id call narrative noise- weird details that make no sense and arent important#also you cant make a character the equivilant of a blank box and then say 'we wanted them to feel powerful and scary' or sth#BC YOUD NEED TO MAKE THE CHARACTER ANYTHIGN -BUT- A BLANK BOX TO HAVE THEM BE INTIMIDATING#ALSO all the ancient stupid sages do is stand around repeating words like they are puppets- you dont see them fight ever#“intimitadtign” my ASS the useless little knife fake zelda throws at sonia from half a mile away and prob wouldnt even have gotten through-#-her hair is more intimidating than any of the blank box mc sages#youd think they learned their lesson when they made the botw champions DLC bc it fleshed their characters out more and added better-#-shrines BUT NO apparently that was a big mistake huh#maybe thats why every single character is reduced to one boring stereotype or a blank box of nothing in totk#having zelda be anything else but a swooing little damsel waiting for her prince was narrative noise needing to be removed HUH#writing team all fired or what- literally WHAT was going on in there
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rehyperfixating on a children’s game that came out in 2015, is one of the least popular entries in its series, and has minimal content, the vast majority of which i’ve seen before. the series has been dead for nearly 10 years, nothing has happened recently that would warrant anyone’s returning interest in it, very few of my friends give a shit about this specific game, and those few who played and liked it in the past have no reason to give a shit about it at all right now. i have been coasting through on a playthrough i’ve been doing with a friend who’d never seen the game before and who was kind enough to let me show it to them, but we just beat the game, and after we play the epilogue we will have nothing left to do, and on top of that they really have just been humoring me as they have their own very strong current hyperfixation they would much rather be thinking about. also i am depressed enough right now that literally nothing else except for waiting to play this game with them and playing this game with them and watching them enjoy it at least a little has been able to briefly quiet the constant cacophony in my head screaming how much of a worthless, lazy, constantly-failing miserable excuse for a living person i am and how much better everything would be, especially for myself, if i stopped existing lately. would anyone like to volunteer to 🔨💥⚒️Kill Me With Hammers🔨💥⚒️ because i would really like for someone to 🔨💥⚒️Kill Me With Hammers🔨💥⚒️ right now
#me.txt#delete ltr#and i like hearing my friends talk about and show me their interests but it isnt enoughhhh its not enough right now to make my head SHUT UP#right now the only thing that can give me energy is a hyperfixation like this#but with enough content and engagement from others to keep subsisting me without hitting a wall#SOMETHING THAT IS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO DO WHEN YOU CANNOT DRAW OR WRITE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#BECAUSE WHEN NOBODY IS MAKING ANYTHING!!!!! AND YOU CANT MAKE ANYTHING FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!!!! ALL YOU CAN DO IS CURL UP AND STARVE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼#immmm so sick of the only thing that makes being alive feel worth it being hyperfixations theres nothing REAL tying me down i cant stand it#because i am!! too broken!!!! to ever achieve any of the things that WOULD give me a real solid tangible reason to keep living!!!!!!#like a stable job!!!! a place of my own!!! a partner whos dedicated to me above everyone else and me to them in return!!!!!!!#a LIFE that isnt just constantly failing over and over and waiting for the shoe to drop and to lose everything all over again!!!!!!!!!!!!#i dont have that!!! and i cant have that!!!!! because im too broken to be able to cultivate and maintain it!!!!!#and the only way. to fix myself enough to be able to do so.#would be to HAVE ENOUGH STABILITY THAT ID HAVE THE TIME AND ENERGY TO PUT INTO FIXING MYSELF AND HEALING#i cant fix myself without stability and freedom. and i cant get stability and freedom unless i’m fixed#so it is. literally impossible!!!!!!!#impossible to create my own concrete solid reason to be here.#impossible for me to even create anything to feed the fixations that are my backup reasons.#theres nothing!! nothing!!! i have nothing new to leap to and ive been dwindling for too long and i think i am about to drown#im just waiting for time to tick out. for me to fuck up too badly to come back from one last time and get found out and punished.#and then? theres nothing left. theres literally nothing else left for me
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If you hate one your past self for liking dsmp don't even talk to me, in fact, if you hate on your past self for being "cringe" or "weird" I think you should think about why you're doing that, is this really what makes you happy? Hating on yourself for daring to find joy in something?
#literally cannot stand when people do that#its not a crime to like something#even if its weird#we should all enjoy things more#to this day im still trying not to get embarrassed about having weird hyperfixations#because i shouldn't#i deserve to enjoy weird things and so do you#we deserve a life that doesnt fit into neatly picked out categories of what is concidered normal#we deserve a life that is our own and we deserve to life it free from anyones judgement#even our own#damn i really ranted in these tags#anyway#dsmp#ig
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one of my absolute worst traits is that when people i don't take seriously try to argue with me like genuinely argue with me i can't help but be kind of a bitch about it
#like why are u asking for my advice and then arguing with me about what i told you#you will truly end up with a nod and a smirk as you talk while i busy myself doing something else#i literally cannot stand this guy i work with aljdflaksdjflasdjfajs i wanna pop his head off
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I'm sorry but the complete and utter lack of appreciation on the internet for the 1995 adaptation of Pride and Prejudice is just absurd. WHERE IS YOUR ENTHUSIASM. WHERE IS YOUR APPRECIATION FOR SUPERBLY-CRAFTED MEDIA. Sure, the 2005 one is fine. Whatever. But the 1995 one??? HELLO???
'95 Mr. Darcy is the biggest simp on the face of the Earth and I will hear no objection to the contrary. My guy spent the first three episodes doing nothing but whining about how dumb and lame everybody was except for him 20% of the time and just staring at Lizzy like a big stupid idiot the other 80% of the time. My guy invented yearning.
My guy yearned so bad he finally bothered to do the self-reflection he'd never cared to do before when she eviscerated him to such a degree because she wouldn't stoop to marrying someone for whom she had not a shred of respect. My guy yearned so bad he was willing to risk his station in life, his livelihood, literally everything just to save her family from ruin, something he would never have dreamed of doing in the beginning of the show. My guy yearned so bad he recognized his deepest flaws and put in the work to change them and become a better person not so that she'd give him what he wanted, but because he realized she was right and that he was in the wrong and needed to make those changes literally just in order to actually have a happy and fulfilling life.
My guy literally created "I love my wife so bad I'm gonna explode and she could kill me on the spot and I'd thank her for the opportunity to be involved"-ism and you people ought to show more gratitude for him singlehandedly altering fandom culture.
#pride and prejudice#2005 darcy is fine. he's fine. but he does not do The Look like colin firth does and it's not even close.#shakes you by the shoulders listen to me. do you know the piano scene. do you know it. i think it's in episode 3 if i'm not mistaken.#whichever scene it is where georgiana's playing the piano and singing and lizzy's standing next to her.#and he's just watching. he's literally just watching her. he's not doing anything and neither is she. BUT THE DADGUM LOOK ON HIS FACE#I COULD WRITE A 60-PAGE DISSERTATION ON THAT SCENE ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#he's also literally the only man in the history of the world who's ever actually managed to carry off sideburns which is saying something#though that is less pertinent to the overall point#but WHATEVER. i am a '95 p&p defender and will be until the day i die#i did not bring it up here because this is intended to be a '95 darcy appreciation post but i love love love love love '95 lizzy so much to#jennifer ehle just frickin' smashed it dude. i cannot even. she is PERFECT MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM#but i will go into that another time. ta-ta
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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does anyone remember "some nights" by fun.
(edit by @stabyou)
#i think i forgot to take my meds this morning and then i got 3 hours of sleep followed by 9 hours of work and the my period started </3#i fear i may have :3'd too close to the sun#a post#but literally what do i stand for. what do i stand for most nights..... i don't know......... anymoooorreeeee oh woah oh oh woah oh ohoh et#physically cannot stop listening to this song by putting my phone speaker right against my ear despite the fact that i once again have work#in the morning -_- but! at least tomorrow i can wake up at 5:15 instead of 4:15. so that's something#i guess.#it's only 4 hours but pray for me folks i also have 6 hours straight of rehearsals tomorrow a bit afterwards and. so much fucking reading.#tee hee#honey i am smooching your brain forever this image ingrained itself into my dna it's in every one of my cells <3
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hi fellow neurodivergent people
i hate to jump on the "i think i might have adhd" bandwagon, but if i think i might have adhd, how do i bring it up to my care team as a 28-year-old cis woman who was a massive overachiever until i couldn't keep up the ruse anymore?
#idk what happened when i got laid off it seriously is like my brain BROKE i cannot do anything#i have not done much of anything in a year. and i think it's bc my coping mechanisms were 1. self-medicate but ESPECIALLY do that while#2. overcommitting. because it kept me busy and distracted. i excelled in school because i could focus on it without it giving me anxiety#school was honestly almost the only thing that didn't give me anxiety as a kid. and i never felt quite Right like i didn't feel like i fit#in with my peers. i've always felt like a human being that isn't a person. like something's not quite right. i excel but i feel like i'm#doing it wrong because it's SO hard for me. i graduated my BA and BS programs with a 4.0#but it came with the cost of alienating all of my friends and family and becoming really reclusive and weird and distant and anxious#but i really just wanted to do well at the one thing i felt i was good at. which doesn't seem like something i should take note of#idk. my life feels like a claustrophobic box. i feel like i'm buried alive and i can't get myself out because i can't work#because i can't focus. but maybe i'm just stupid and lazy and want everyone to take care of me forever so i can continue laying around doin#fuck all. which i do a lot because i'm chronically ill. idk. like is there ground to stand on here. i literally have zero friends rn#and i feel so so so sos so anxious any time i am working because i worry i'm going to do something wrong or forget to do something or make#lots of mistakes that get me in trouble. i'm so scared of making mistakes it keeps me from doing anything at all. but i get so anxious bc#i'm not doing anything! i'm wasting time! and i can't focus on anything when i AM working because i have to get up and pace#like i HAVE to move around or i start to feel like i need to peel my skin off like i'm an orange#like. is it anything at all. or is this just me being someone who has Other Stuff going on
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This is not it. Boycott, use the anger and uneasiness towards pressuring institutions, informing those around you and donating.
Sending hate mail, cancelling and harassing a singer and expecting some apologies from them will do nothing if not make you feel better about yourselves - nothing good for the Palestinians will come out of it
#I’m sorry but i cannot stand cancel culture#it diverts the focus from what it is really important#did he do something carelss and stupid? yeah#as a fan i was a little sad but it is not like he used on purpose his popularity to support is***l or something#if you don’t like him anymore stop following him and his music#what is the point of harassing another human being and expecting certain kinda of statements from an entrateiner#when it will literally do nothing for the cause#use that energy to put on spot politicians press companies broadcast companies and such#English is clearly not my first language but all this left a really sour taste behind and i am so fucking pissed at the voting that went -#on in Italy that in comparison this really seems small (if we want to keep the discourse withing esc boundaries)#käärijä
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/78aa8bf0bd9d1748e8b2831262c266c7/cdde0c9bed9eea20-fa/s250x250_c1/8d6f9e359a3aafedbc250650f1896ae03c4a5be3.jpg)
What the actual fuck is going down here rn
#syscourse#istg it just keeps getting worse and worse every time I see smth#what are some of y'all DOING#like fucking hell some of y'all cannot stand being called out for saying incorrect shit#so your solution is to pull this shit??? really?????#I feel bad for the people getting fucking dogpiled by kids for correcting misinfo#literally just explaining why something was incorrect WITH SOURCES
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i love how absolutely horrifying TLQ gets when you up the brightness. What the fuck IS that
#'youre hard to look at' yeah she wasnt fucking lying what the hell is that#TLQ doesnt actually look that horrifying when...they're? (im...actually unsure if i should be using singular or plural pronouns)#(with The Princess its easier because shes always just one version of herself; one perspective. except for The Stranger who uses plural)#(and I use she/her for Shifty as well because shes all of those perspectives at once but still considers herself a unit iirc)#(like if i remember right she does use 'i' and not 'we' so)#(but with TLQ it's harder because the Voices seem a bit more separate??? and like technically 'The Princesses fuse and and together#make The Shifting Mound' and 'The Voices make up an entity known as The Long Quiet' are very similar statements#but the way they make those entities seems...different for each of them???? at least to me?????#like uuuuh i guess if this hasnt changed then its kinda like all the versions of the Princess; when together; create a single unit#kinda like if you took your memories from age 0-10; 10-15 and 15-however old you are and put them together#theyd make an entity with one singular identity informed by several perspectives and memories#but iirc TLQ is never actually a single unit???? like the voices dont make something that presents as a singular being#im starting to run in circles. am i even coherent? do yall get what im saying??? like basically even 'you' arent TLQ#you are literally 'The Decider' and despite having motor control most of the time; the other Voices at one point say that you arent more#important than them i believe. cant remember what situation provokes that tho#like TLQ iirc never actually presents as TLQ. there is no singular TLQ to speak of as far as i know)#anyway yeah TLQ actually doesn't look that horrifying when the body is partially obscured by the shadows but uh yeah. no fucking wonder#Spectre/TPATD Princess describes them as 'scary'#im honestly quite impressed with her composure in chapter 1. like. imagine a fucking 7 meters tall eldritch abomination with a beak#that is not a beak and teeth that definitely CANNOT fit in its mouth just standing in front of you looking at you with two shining eye hole#while holding a knife in its clawed hand...is that even a hand?#like...brother i would just freak out
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Bleh
#thinking about shit#getting really tired and stressed with everything going on#and I'm seriously starting to wonder if this is my next breaking point#and if I'm going to be forever worse bc I kept pushing myself with my me/cfs#that's the fucking scary thing about it; not knowing if I'm doing to accidentally do something wrong and make myself permanently worse#and I don't know how to explain these fears other than fucking terrifying#to literally be entirely unaware of the true limitations of your body and not knowing if you're going to make yourself worse by accident#I cannot wait for the move to be over#once we have a legal address together I can get on my husbands insurance and beg him to quit#I am incapable of working a traditional job as it is but I'm forced to because I have no other options#so I'm already pushing myself on a regular basis#and I fear every flare up is just going to be my new normal#and what if it is just a flare up? I have to keep working I have to do my job I have to do chores I have to pack#will working myself this hard during the flare up lead to something worse?#I can't do this anymore I just fucking can't#I can't stand not knowing if this past year is going to permanently incapacitate me#I'm already reliant on my husband for everything short of carrying me to the bathroom and wiping my ass for me#I hate not being independent and I hate the idea that I might be stuck in this much pain and this much fatigue for the rest of my f'in life
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