#and i like when jayson cries

[yourmoonmomma]

Jayson & I watched Barbie last night. I thought it was a silly lil movie, one of the ones where you can laugh and cringe about the over the top relatable experiences.

But Jayson CRIED at the end?!?! And then I go online and a LOT OF PEOPLE ARE CRYING?!? And talking about how it hit em in the mommy issues department, or reminded them of the mother-daughter connection?!?!

All this movie taught me is that my job should also be Beach. I think my mother fucked me up in a way different way than some of these Barbie girlies moms did.

[kolour-me-kourt]

Chapter Sixteen: Rediscover

" ..... The song does come from an extremely real place I made a selfish decision and I'm not sure the innocent party affected knows anything about it but I am sorry"

"Do you want to go into anymore detail?"

"I don't want to but I will... I had dealings with an ex recently and he's in a relationship she seems like a really sweet girl but I was being selfish him and I had several reasons why we broke up but infidelity was one so the fact that I did that to someone else was fucked up and um I wrote a song about it"

"Wow that's a super real place well the song is beautiful and you can hear the emotion in it"

"Thanks I don't wanna expose him or anything cause I truly do think he's a great guy but he has some issues"

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What's worse then getting cheated on? Everyone knowing you got cheated on and you stayed. YN was grateful in this moment that he told her the truth because she couldn't have imagined finding out this way. All the time and forgiveness put in seem to almost dwindle away when YN heard Ella speaking in a radio interview. The only person she had really been tied to publicly was Jayson so everyone who knew YN sent her the clip that was circulating around.

She cried and tried to get herself together because she had a flight to catch. Straight to Boston to watch Jayson play tomorrow. She would be court side beside his mother, her boyfriend,father and his girlfriend . She was excited but nervous all at the same time so this little interview only added to her nerves.  As soon as she zips her suitcase he calls."Yes sirrr?" "You on your way to the airport yet?" "Just finished packing but in a bout ten minutes I'll be leaving" "okay I sent a private .... So you can rest I know you're tired and I'm getting you myself" She finally puts her face in the camera"yayy I'm excited" she smiled "you sure?" She laughed slightly "yeah ... I just keep seeing that clip and it messed my mood up a little" "what clip?" She bit her lip so he asked again

"what clip?" "Um Ella dropped a new song .... And it's about you guys and she's on her press tour" "she said my name?" "No but knowing what I know it's easy to put two and two together plus the blogs are kinda already doing it so." "Doing what?" "Saying the song is about you" "fuck!" His voice was deep and filled with anger "it's fine" "it's not why would she do that?" "She's an artist she's coping" "so you taking up for her?" YN lifted an eyebrow

"yeah I guess I am but it's really no reason to be upset because I'm not mad we've moved on" "yeah you're not mad but I can tell you been crying" "yeah" "just hurry and get to me we got plans and I don't want any of that to ruin them" she smiled "okay baby I love you" "I love you too" "byeeeee" "bye" she hangs up exhaling "well look at that growth" she smiled proud of herself.

*A few hours later*

She was getting off the plane and there was Jayson flowers in hand ready to see her. She walked over quickly kissing him

" mmm hey baby" "hey papa" he smiled on her lips "save that for later we got a big night" "oh....? we do?" "mhm so first you take these....and ill take these bags" he handed her the flowers while grabbing her bags. Soon they were both in the car driving out of the airport she kept glancing at him and smiling.

"I'm really back in Boston" "yeah... do you wanna be?" He smiled "it's no other place I rather be... If I'm being in honest" "good cause you staying with me regardless" "so you'll hold me hostage?" "If I have too" "boy bye😂😂" "this the same car we sat in that first night we met ... eating burgers and talking shit" YN laughed "I remember... that was a goodnight I remember when you kissed me ..... it was so damn passionate" "it's cause I wanted to fuck you" she rolled her eyes

"bae I thought we was being sentimental" "I thought we was being honest" she laughed "always.... So what's the moves" "go back to the house let you chill a little bit and then I invited a few people over for a lil game night" YN lifted her eyebrow "a few... like a group? Or like two?" "It don't matter you'll have fun ... I promise" "hmmm I was really looking forward to having some good sex tonight cause I know I can't get none tomorrow" "why not?" "You not fuckin before the game" "I might after tho...." "It'll be lazy sex I don't want that I been missing you badly in that department it's ridiculous" he smiled "we'll have time before game night .... I'll get you right" "good bae"

"I do wanna run something by you real quick" "I'm listening" "Deuce wants to come to the game...." "Oh ... so you don't want me to come?" "I want you to come I was trying to figure out if you was ready to meet him.... I know we talked about it before but I'm asking you again" she exhaled deeply "did you talk you talk to your mom?" "Yeah... she said we should wait a lil longer" "then I'll watch from the house it's fine" "bae..." "I mean it's the best alternative he should be able to watch his dad" "unless you don't sit with them"

"and then that'll be on WAGS by the end of the night are they really together if she can't even sit with the rest of the family at the games I don't have time for these blogs Jay" "I get it .... I did want you there though you can't always be worried about what other people think ...if we locked in we locked in you know what the fuck going on" "let me think on it" "that's fine with me ... I don't get that much time with you so knowing you watching me that close I would definitely be activated" she laughed

"orrrr I can be in your bed waiting for you fresh from the game....." "damn that sounds good....when you moving in?" She laughed loudly "boyyyy" "do you think you're ready" her eyes got wide "for what?" "Meeting Deuce" "oh...your mama said no so no plus I really want to meet his mom before I met him.... so regardless tomorrow isn't the time it's too rushed .....Have you talked to her about that?" "No should I?" "I mean yeah if you want me to meet him soon" "you right" she smiled "that's what I like to hear" "now.... Can we focus on something else" "like what?" "enjoying these three days together" "of course bae" she smiled grabbing his hand he turns up the music speeding to his house. When he parks the car her phone vibrates she looks down and then she sighs.

"you good?" he asked "no...but I will be after my shower" "what's wrong" "my vibe is just a little off..." "somebody said something to you" she bit her lip nervously "just this Ella stuff people keep asking me ...without really asking me I saw a few shady posts on the plane too....its just weird so many people are invested in us failing ...I hate that" "that's why I wish she didn't say anything it was over we moved on and then boom its back in your face im sorry bae" ".....yeah I just need to shower" "bet...lets go"

He gets out of the car grabbing her bags and then going to the door. She lifted an eyebrow staring at him through the window but then got out of the car going into the house. "what I do now?" "hmm?" "I know you...so why you mad" "you didn't open my door but whatever" "ummmmmm I was too busy getting your bags" "okay" "is that not enough" " I said okay Jayson" she immediately went to his room stripping and getting in the shower she just need some hot water on her body.

"Baeee!" she yelled from the bathroom he came in looking at her up and down licking his lips "Inviting me in?" she laughed "I was asking where you put my loofah ...its gone" "The housekeeper put it in the trash last week she said it had stuff growing on it ...since you haven't been here to use it" "awww damn" "Yeah let me grab you a wash cloth" she pouts "Okay" he laughed leaving but then quickly returning handing it to her "thank you so much" "mhm...you look so good wet skin smooth ..." she bit her lip

"wanna get in?" "yeah" he smiles while taking his shirt off "first you gotta tell me who's coming over" "its a surprise bae" he lowkey pouts making her slightly laugh she never seen him do that before "you know I don't like people" "you'll like these people...its fine" "and when is game night?" "We got like three hours" "And what are you doing for food?" "ordering some stuff'' "come in here" he smiled as he finished stripping and then he got in the shower with her shutting the glass door "Your showers always so damn hot" "it feels ...good I needed to relax" "I know you do" he kisses her forehead

"I wanna apologize for the door thing...you were doing enough and my hands not broke" he laughed " you use to me treating you a certain way but you can't do that and not be patient" "what you mean?" "I would've opened the door for you after I brought your bags in" "its only two bags Jay" "Maybe I didn't wanna carry the bags and open your door at the same time" "but ..then that was pointless walking....taking the bags in and then coming back out to open my door?" "to you but maybe that's my process" "oop you right" she laughed

"everything can't just go your way" "And why tf not" she joked "cause you not patient" she laughed playfully rolling her eyes. "hmmm you might be on to something" "I know i'm right"  "when you be at my place I treat you way better"

"ima treat you good too...stop playing" "I don't force you to socialize with people" he laughed "bae ....you'll enjoy it we'll be in the bed by 11" "you think so?" "Mhm I know so ...just trust me won't be no late night over here" she laughed "I love you" "I love you too" "you forcing me to socialize my whole time here?" he shook his head "you only don't like socializing cause you don't like sharing me" "true cause I shouldn't have too why you like sharing me" "cause you're a bright light that nobody can dim anyway a lot of people deserve to see you and experience you just not in the same ways I do" "well that was poetic"

"and I meant it ......what time you leaving on Friday? before or after the game?" "It's a late game so probably before unless you really want me there" "hmmmm you know who we playing right?" "no? who?" "Melo" "oh wow no I didn't realize....so that's a no?" "nah I want you there" "I would have to leave right after ....I have a thing Saturday morning" "I'll fly home with you spend some time with you on Saturday after you get home" "and then leave that night?" "leave Sunday morning" "if you feel like doing all that" "yeah I do...simply because it'll be like two weeks before we see each other" "two weeks why?" "away games..... then I have stuff to do with Deuce" "oh well okay I guess we got each other for the rest of the week" she smiled he kissed her forehead

*time skip*

Their whole shower consisted of nothing but conversation she loved moments like that when they could talk forever and never get tired. It was evident he wanted her but it also was very obvious that he wanted to wait. Shower sex wasn't something he always wanted to do he needed to be in the mood. Currently he was down stairs setting up for the game night as yn wrapped up some work. A few emails were sent to her while she was in the shower so she wanted to get to them now so she can relax tonight. she hears the door bell ring. "You almost ready?" he texts her "five more minutes please" "ok"

she didn't wanna upset him but she had shit to do. Sometimes she didn't think that he realized she also made sacrifices for them to work. She didn't hear much conversation so she figured it most be the food. Once she found the files she exhaled attaching them to the email and then sending them off. She gave herself one last look over ...after all she had no clue who he invited to the house. She needed to look good. Her full Curly hair with her white toenails and bright pink comfortable but mini dress made her look amazing.

She walked downstairs he glanced at her clearly a little upset "Sorry ....i'm a hundred percent yours now" she pouted hoping it would make him take it easy on her. He lifts one finger beckoning for her to come closer. When she stood in front of him he smiles "I know you have to work sometimes ...no need to apologize especially when you look like this" she was pleasantly shocked "wow okay that makes me feel better" "good...I hope I make you feel better tonight" "pick me up" he raised on eyebrow but decided to listen picking her up she wraps her legs around his waist.

"you better make me feel amazing tonight ...if you have me out here hosting people..cause if you don't their will be hell to pay" she squints her eyes trying to be intimidating he couldn't help but laugh "don't threaten me...cause I might make you stand on that" "how?" he smirked kissing her lips she deepens the kiss moaning softly when she felt him squeeze her ass. And as usual once the kiss got heated the doorbell began to ring. "uhh 🙄 no" she says he smiles "Don't be like that"

he sits her down gently on her feet going to the door opening

"hey" "damn this is nice" yn knew that voice from anywhere "bitch? is that you?" She rushed to the door "YES!!! its me"  it was yn friend from Boston everything had come full circle for yn in this moment her friend was there when she met Jayson and now she was here in his house the first night they host something together ...felt special. "yo bitch ass teammate coming?" She asked Jayson looking him up and down "Yup and don't talk about my boy like that" "what happened with that?" "bitch let me tell you...we drinking?" "yup he got my favorite wine in the kitchen lets go....bae you want anything to drink?"

"Just some water" "Lame!!!" FFB (friend from Boston) says "I have a game tomorrow" "he needs to stay sober anyway" yn bit her lip as they finally made it into the kitchen "drunk sex be lit" "he not gon get drunk he gon get tipsy and go to sleep ....he might as well stay sober ....but back to you clearly we need to catch up" "long story short....you remember last time you was here me and Jaylin ended up fuckin again....and it was way better ...and so I got a lil crazy" Yn passes her friend a glass and she takes a long sip

"Ummm crazy how?" "I was texting just asking when he was gon fuck me again....you don't fuck somebody like that and then think you can go ghost ...that shit mad weird he was all in my ear talking to me bitch had me folded up and shit and then aint say nothing else" "so then what you do..." "blocked him after he reached out again cause how you see my messages and don't respond but then just hit me back up talking about am I free? was I free yeah if he asked tonight will I be free? yeah but still..." yn laughed "yeah he can't be playing wit you like that you gotta figure out how to get the upper hand" yn hears loud knocks on the door

"yeah I will I have a plan but enough about me....did you see that Ella Mai Interview...you think she talking about Jayson?" yn sighed to tell the truth or not tell the truth...that is the question "I did see it yeah'' "yeah you think she talking about Jayson? ill stop streaming boo'd up right now" yn laughed "girl even I listen to her songs can't deny her hits" "you gon answer the question?"

"COME ON LADIESSS" Jaylen says loudly FFB rolls her eyes "ONE SEC" she says yn swallows hard finishing her drink "It doesn't matter one way or the other to me....because I'm happy so why dive into that with him" yn applauded herself mentally no lies were told and she didn't tell her business "well alright then lets go beat some ass" they walk out of the kitchen "Damn" Jaylin says looking YBF up and down "Boy stop before we leave" yn rolled her eyes "So much for getting the upper hand" "ill get it" yn laughed "what's the first game bae?"

*time skip*

Game night was great they had fun and then went right to sleep. The next day Jayson woke up completely focused on the game so yn relaxed around the house and worked some more. While he was taking his pre game nap she worked out. After a long talk this morning they decided that she would just watch the game from home. As bad as they both wanted her there it wasn't the time for it.When he woke up he was hella energetic he jumped out of the bed

"Excited for the game?" "Hell yeah I know you'll be watching so im real excited and waiting for me later?" "mhmmm right in this bed" "Can we skip to the good part?" she laughed "what you wearing tonight" "idk...pick me something out let me go to the bathroom" she smiled "ooooh okay" she was excited Jayson was chill but he took his fashion sense serious cause he liked to look good. She stood in his closet taking in his intoxicating smell and just before she zoned out into a trance his phone started to buzz. She walks out of the closet glancing at it

"Your baby mama calling" "Bring it here please" YN rolled her eyes "She can wait" he laughed "Bae bring me the phone" "fineee" yn grabs his phone bringing it into the bathroom handing it to him he grabbed her hand signaling he wanted her to stay he answers on speaker "hello?" "yeah I just wanted to let you know your son fell asleep...so I don't know if you wanted to have your mom still come get him or just let him come to the game next time you have him but yeah he had a long night last night" "long night like how?" "I have some family in town and you know he likes to stay up with everybody" They shared a laugh "Yeah that's fine just let him sleep let him know I love him" "of course I will good luck tonight" "thanks ...bye" "Byeeee"

He smiles looking down at YN "soooo you wanna come with me to the game" Yn shrugged playing like she didn't care "if you want me to..." he smacks her ass ...."Stop playing I want you to....so get ready" "Ima ride with you?" "Yup" "fuck well okay let me hop In the shower real quick" "Okay im trying to leave in twenty minutes" "Alright bae Ill be ready...I pulled two shirts you might wanna wear tonight too" "alright ill go look in a second"

In 15 minutes she had took a shower fluffed her hair moisturized her skin and now was putting on her outfit he was downstairs waiting on her. She loved what he was wearing

It was simple but cute she on the other hand had to step out for her first game where people knew who she was. She would be in the section with his family of course but also other players partners she needed to look good beside them .... She needed to look better than them but most importantly it needed to look like she wasn't even trying.

"Heels or no heels?" She asked Jayson still in the room "step out here let me see you" she stood at the top of the stairs "how you look that good in oversized shit? " "Focus bae you need to be on time" "yeah you can wear heels it'll give you some height since your pants big" "bet!!" She rushed off grabbed her black heels and then she flashed down the stairs he smiled "never seen you get ready so fast" "I mean you can't be late to work for me" he laughed "you right ... let's go"

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He went Into the arena before her. She stayed in the car for a second getting a few pictures inside and out of the car and then she got out locking the doors. She took a deep breath she looked good now she needed to sell it ... she was a girlfriend she needed to act like the girlfriend. She was there to support her man above all else.

YN got to her seat pretty quickly speaking to his dad and a few of the players partners around her introducing herself and exchanging information.

Soon enough his mom showed up smiling. "I thought I was gonna be late... I'm glad to see you here" "thanks ... were you working?" "No I was halfway to get Deuce before I saw the message" "oh wow that sucks" "yeah but I'll be fine anyway how have you been when did you get in?" "Last night actually I fly out tomorrow night" "are you coming to that game?" "I plan on it Jay wants me too" "it's important to start being seen so I agree" she smiled "yeah... that's true I just gotta balance it all" "that's also true my son isn't your whole life it's good that you have your own identity"

"yeah my mom has always said don't ride anybody else's coattails" "smart woman I'm sure I'll meet her some day" "hopefully if I'm still around" YN laughed awkwardly slightly beating herself up why did she say that to his mom "I'm sure you will be..... he loves you I haven't seen him like this about anybody in a long time" "that makes me feel good" "it should"

Soon as shoot arounds started and she caught Jayson looking up at her smiling she was completely at peace. He loved seeing the picture of her with his family all that was missing was his son.

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As he predicted he was hot the whole entire game first half he already had 30 points and he finished even stronger his points combined with JB blew the other team out of the water they had no clue what hit them. YN kept a smile on her face the whole entire time excited for the game excited to watch him play in his element with his people it was a moment for the books.

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Fridays night game with Melo

YN could feel this game was important to Jayson. Every game was important but he was super focused on this one. They drove in the car singing  r&b classics at the top of their lungs so by the Time he was walking in to the arena his energy was on a thousand and before the game could even start she noticed all his teammates felt his energy and it rubbed off on them.

He noticed her being in his city made a huge difference and he wonders if it's too fast to ask for her to move in seriously. It's selfish she has other things going on but it's heavy on his mind.

*time skip in the car

"The game was really close I can't but think he was trying to show me up in front of you" "orrrrr he wanted his team to win?" "Don't matter cause who won?" "My baby....you didn't have to dunk on him though " she smiled and kissed his lips "yeah I did he did it first" YN shook her head "you looked so good out there" she licked her lips slowly "wait until we get to your house .... Actually no ima fuck you on the plane.... Ima put you in the mile high club" "how you know I'm not a member" he lifted an eyebrow "are you?" "No that shit seem scary" "we gon do it right in the window seat.... Ain't no staff on board except the pilot and co pilot" "nobody coming with us?" "Nope just me and you ... so you can ride that dick in the clouds" "you being freaky tonight.... I love it" she smiled "I know I gotta talk to you like that sometimes"

Once they got home Jayson packed his stuff and they rushed off to the airport to get on the plane. As soon as she walked in Jayson was behind her smacking her ass. After talking to the pilots they went in the control room and prepared for take off. And quickly they were in the air.

"you wanna be in the mile high club?" He kisses her lips. She rubbed him through his pants and he was clearly already excited she stands up and then gets on her knees in front of him. He smiled lifted the window shade. She really was about to suck dick in the air .... Wow. He tried to help her by unbuttoning his pants but she moved his hands out of the way.

"You just relax.... I got this" he listened completely in awe.... Was she gonna take charge? She pulled his dick out in record time "you're already getting hard for me.... I must be doing something right" she licks her lips and then around his tip maintaining eye contact. Her tongue eventually licked every spot on his dick then she traced his prominent vein up to his tip closing her mouth for a second and then slowly allowing spit to come out of her mouth "damn" he said softly he could watch that scene over and over again. She noticed he loved it so she did it again and started to stroke his dick..... and then finally her mouth started to play too.

"You look so pretty" she stared him in his eyes as she went slow it was making him lose all his cool. He tried to keep his eyes open but struggled she grabbed one of his hands placing it on her head. "Want me to grab your hair?" "Mhm" he puts her hair in a makeshift ponytail "love to watch your face while you make me disappear" she moves her hand taking him fully into his mouth she gagged a little but didn't stop instead she pulled a little of him out of her mouth and placed her hand back on him stroking him as her mouth moved up and down expertly once she had enough she placed a kiss on the tip of his dick that was now standing at attention and then

she stood up and started to remove her pants she left her heels on because she honestly didn't feel like going through the Trouble of taking them off especially since he was already so worked up she stood tall and proudly in front of him bitting her lip planning her next move He opened his mouth to say something but she quickly cut him off "shhh I got you" she smiled he lean back relaxing and then she sat on his lap with her back on his stomach relaxing she spread her legs.

"Finger me bae" she looked up into his eyes he placed two fingers to her mouth singling for her to wet them. She let him place his fingers in her mouth as she got them nice and wet when she was done she pulled them out and he immediately went to her center teasing her.

He stared in her eyes as he tried to gain some control but it was clear she was in charge for now. When his finger slid inside her she immediately closed her eyes "damn" he smirked "you just always so wet for me" "it's the way you talk to me" "I just be asking you shit I really wanna know" "like?" "What I do so good in my life to deserve you" she gasped when his fingers began rubbing her clit.

"Baby hm?" He asked "I don't know" "all you know is you feel good...huh?" "yeahhh" he smiled once he felt her cuming on his hand she leaked on to his thigh but he didn't mind. She grabbed his dick about to slide it inside of herself but he stopped her "let me see your face while you ride this dick" she smiles standing up turning around and straddling him. she teased herself because he was extremely hard but when he had enough he slides her down himself. "how you know if I was ready?" "im sorry baby ...want me to take it out" she slowly started move her hips "Nope" he grabs her face kissing her deeply "yeah that's what I thought" 

                                                                                      *Saturday

He finally got a dose of how she felt when he was at the gym or doing something while she was visiting cause while she was busy the whole morning he was in her home waiting for her just missing her. So when she finally walked through the door he was like an excited little kid" "hey bae how was your day? How did the event go?" Jayson asked as soon as she walked through the door she took her shoes off immediately sitting on the couch beside him she exhaled deeply "I'm so glad it's over..... it feels like it lasted forever and it was just like a waste of five hours" "damn bae" "yeah what you do?" "Nothing.... Just missed you and slept ... the sleep felt good" "good you deserve it" "I hope your day gets better" "oh it will.... After this shower" he laughed "yeah you go shower and I'll get us some food what you want?" "Surprise me bae" she stands up looking down at him he smiles pulling her back down on his lap.

"You ain't kissed me since you walked in ...."  "Damn I'm slacking sorry bae" she slowly kisses him as he squeezes her ass. "I'll go to the Mexican restaurant ...how that sound?" "mhm that sounds good" "you want a chicken quesadilla?" "yeah and Birria tacos" "ou that do sound good" "mhmmm I know" he smiled "okay ill let you relax a little you want anything to drink?" "yeah the usual" she kissed his lips again and then continued talking "im so glad you're here ....if I didn't have you to look forward to I wouldn't have made it through work" "im glad I came too and all night its me and you" she sighs "and then you leave in the morning" "yeah don't focus on that though" she laughed slightly

"im driving you to the airport?" "yeah I want you too but if you don't want to its fine" he kissed her forehead softly leaving his lips there "ill drive you of course" "you don't want too?" "I don't want you to see me cry...and If I have to watch you walk onto that plane.... I might lose it" "bae..." "you wanted the answer Jay" he kisses her forehead again "you want me to uber?" "No im taking you...I'll just be a thug" he laughed "Okay bae...go relax while I get some food" he grabs her ass shaking it a little then smacking it. She stands up and then pulls him up "I hope our food is good" she says while walking to the bedroom "it will be ...like it always is" she laughed disappearing into the bedroom. He sighed shaking his head grabbing his keys and shutting the door.

*Sunday

She sniffled as he kissed her forehead "bae don't make this harder than what it already is" "sorry I'm just gonna miss you" "I'll FaceTime you as soon as I land... I love you be safe" "you too Bae" "let me hear you say it" he smiles "I love you so much baby" he Kisses her lips passionately and walks off towards the plane she gets back in her car waiting until she couldn't see him anymore and then she reversed her car going back home. Already she felt lonely they had practically spent the whole week together and that rarely happened....so saying bye for two weeks was eating her tf up inside.

*two weeks later*

It had been two weeks since YN  had seen Jayson he had back to back games away and then he had his son so she knew she probably wouldn't see him for another three days. She had a girls night and had been working extra hard just to get out of this funk after none of her friends could come over she decided to call Melo inviting him over for a movie night which included pizza and wings with his favorite soda. It had been a little minute since they linked up so he decided he would come over.

Soon enough it was seven pm and he was ringing the door bell. "HEYYYYY FRIENDDD" she says with a big smile on her face he pats her head "damn relax I know you lonely you too excited " she laughed as he walked in "I miss you to Melo damn" "I know you do we gotta talk man" he shook his head as he took his shoes off "Wussup?" "So you know the chick I was telling you about?" "Yeah? what about her" "you was right...she fucked another player" "on your team!!!?" "nah somebody close enough to me tho....back in the day but still" "see I knew it she seem a little like a homie hopper cause she was just with NLE Choppa two weeks ago"

"And you ain't tell me?" "I aint think it was my business more importantly I thought you knew" "nah I didn't man" "Well does it really matter? like you honestly was just trying to fuck...so fuck her" his eyes got wide "nah" "Why not....if it was romantic I would get it but like are you gonna wife her?" "I don't wanna have this conversation with you no more its taking a turn for the worse" she laughed "im just saying...." Melo felt that yn was happy in her relationship with Jayson but she also wanted him around just incase it went left.

Subconsciously yn was keeping him on the back burner she was in love with Jayson absolutely but it was also nice to know that she could have Melo if Jayson ever just left her or she decided to leave him.

"im your friend if you don't have the conversation with me who you gon have it with?" "Me and LBG getting back together ....soon probably idk" "Wym you don't know" "she been hitting me up and I honestly miss being in a relationship" yn rolled her eyes "You wanna get our food and start the movie" "you don't think I should?" "She's bad news and that's all im gonna say...you were supportive when I straight ghosted you and came back and stayed with Jay so ima support you if you get back with her ...just know I feel like you shouldn't cause she's trash and you're setting yourself back by getting back in a toxic ass relationship just cause you miss constant pussy"

"Alright I respect that...lets eat" "do you respect it?" "You were my constant pussy!.... *he sighs taking a breath and then continues to talk* This has got to the territory of shit we shouldn't be talking about when you got a whole Nigga I'm trying to respect .... So you ready to eat?"

YN bits her lip taking a deep breath "yeah .... Let's eat" She respected Melo for respecting her relationship because she was clearly having second thoughts and had he kissed her she probably would've folded completely. Melo was to the point where he couldn't lose her again so if that meant he never touched her again he was with it.

She fixed his plate and then they sat in front of the tv. "We Binge watching stranger things right?" "Yupp unless you changed your mind" he glanced at her

" no ... stranger things is fine... I'll start at the beginning" she turns it on and it's quiet still eventually he grabs the remote pausing "why you do that?" She asked looking into his eyes "shhh let me just get my thoughts together" "okay..."

".... You my friend I love you I would be lying if I said I don't ever think about me and you but I respect your relationship and I respect the fact that you love him so from now on we need to do better with the conversations we having cause I don't ever want to put you in position of choosing between him and me or even cheating on him cause I know you not a cheater I don't want you changing your ways just cause shit got hard with that nigga" "well I don't want you changing your ways just cause you wanna be in a relationship that bitch don't deserve you she never did and i whole heartedly mean that please ... don't get back with her" he sighed

"you don't want me with her? Or you don't want me with anyone... else" "just her ...." "You sure?" "What do you want me to say?" "The truth" "the truth is I love Jayson and me and him are just now really getting to the place where we're good if I was gonna cheat I should've done it months ago but I didn't which means I know I love him .... But is it possible for me to love both of you? It's selfish to say I don't want you with nobody else but like.... Anyway that's the truth" "I gotta think about all that" he presses play she laughs trying to break the tension "just stay on your end of the couch Nigga " "that's what I'm trying to tell you Nigga" he smiled

****time skip*

she had dozed off before the fourth episode her head was in Melos lap and he was dozing off too until he heard the key in her door he glanced down trying to register what was happening and then he saw Jayson walking through the door. Jayson saw Melo and immediately rolled his eyes "she sleep?" "yeah? ....and missing you so I'll just leave Melo tries to carefully get up without waking her up. he gathers his stuff walking by Jayson "uh thanks man for being here...when I can't" He daps him Melo was shocked but appreciated it "No problem that my friend" "yeah"Jayson walks over picking yn up taking her to the bed room her eyes open.

"I must be dreaming" she said softly "nah...surprise" "yayyy baby I missed you" "I heard ...I flew all night to see you" he finally sat her on the bed "this sucks....I really be going through it" "it's not easy for me either bae...." "You let Melo out?" "He let his self out" "did y'all talk?" "I played nice if that's what you're asking" "Thank you bae" "you too tired for me?" "Thought you would never ask .... Give it to me" "nah...." "Huh?" She laughed "you was just sleep ... let's sleep I'm fresh from a flight" "even if I do all the work?" "Yeah even if you do all the work" she laughs "alright bet cause I am tired "

"you know you can tell me no... right?" "Yeah of course" "you sure?" "Yes bae" "it just seems like .... Since the thing you act like everytime I ask for sex I just get it..... even when it was bad you said yes" "you tired ima let you have it okay?" She started getting mad "what? I'm trying to have a conversation" "I don't think so..... I feel like you trying to prove a point" "what's my point then?" " idk you haven't made it" "alright you right I am sleepy ima just ....." he sighed walking into the bathroom shutting the door she sat there for a second but it wasn't sitting right with her. So she got up walking into the bathroom to see him washing his face he had just finished brushing his teeth

"do you think I'm scared to lose you? Are you worried?" "Yeah very ... I never want you to feel forced bae" she sighed bringing him close she kissed his exposed chest "my sex drive is high Bae I want it just as much as you.... Everytime ..... now do you want me to continue being honest?" "Of course" "before we had ... really healed and when I wasn't enjoying the sex it's cause I wasn't ready to have sex with you I did it because I didn't want you looking else where to get it .... So I kinda just forced myself to do it and make sure you were pleased" "damn bae that make me feel like shit" "why though? you didn't force me" "but I didn't catch on.... Ever I haven't caught on I haven't paid attention to you like I need too" "I could've been more vocal this isn't one sided" "that's true but I gotta do better" "bae ... why is this hitting you so hard? You didn't force me into anything I need you to know that I don't want you carrying that weight" he kissed her forehead

"it's like what you were saying in therapy the other week like .... I'm splitting my time so much that nobody is getting a 100% of me I missed a big milestone for Deuce at school and I vowed I would never be that dad" she saw him tear up"awww bae I'm sorry" she held him close she wished she could hold his head in her chest... but he's so damn tall" "I'm just ... anyway so yeah that happened and then I get back to you and I haven't even been paying attention to you either so like what am I doing good?"

"You're still a wonderful father above anything else Deuce tells you that himself and you're the best boyfriend I've ever had if I feel neglected I'll tell you but right now all we can do is go to sleep .... And you have to forgive yourself for the Deuce thing I'm sure he will to" "he wasn't even that upset .... I don't think he realizes how big this was" "maybe it meant more to you than to him regardless it was still big so I get you being upset" "yeah maybe...."

"Why did you miss it?" ".... I was sleep" "what are you leaving out?" "Well when I decided to fly back with you to Boston I remembered i had to go back Sunday because of his thing but once I got home I slept without thinking about his thing and I overslept cause I basically forgot" "so it's my fault..." "no it's not that's why I didn't wanna say that" "I mean if you didn't feel so obligated to be here..." "but bae I'm a grown ass man who knew what I was getting into when I said I wanted to be in a relationship this is not on you it's on me .... And ima fix it you gotta trust in me that I will" ".... Okay" "I don't want that weight on you" he smiled quoting her she smiled too "okay Jay I'll let you finish washing your face and stuff I'll be in bed" "okay don't get no wild ideas... we going straight to sleep" "yes sir" YN laughed

The next morning he woke up to the fresh smell of her fixing breakfast. She felt like it was the least she could do since he flew all night to see her. He got himself together brushing his teeth and taking a quick shower before coming downstairs. "Goodmorning..... all this for me?" he still had his morning voice that she loved so much. "Goodmorning" she nodded her had She had fixed cinnamon rolls,French toast, an assortment of fruit, Turkey bacon, applewood bacon and Turkey sausage. When YN felt helpless in situations she just liked to cook but she would never tell him she fixed everything in the house cause she didn't know what else to do other than cook and her surprise...

"Wow bae this is a lot" "I'm gonna eat too" he came over giving her a kiss "you not inviting nobody else?" "No.... Should I?" "I mean I kinda interrupted your thing with Melo last night so..." he didn't finish his sentence "it's fine bae" "okay... just making sure" she fixed him a plate and grabbed him a water bottle. " I love you" "I love you too" "when I walked in last night and you were sleep I can just tell He's in love with you and I feel like you have feelings too .... Do I think you'll act on them no but I want you to be honest with me and yourself" The words flowed out his mouth nonchalantly completely catching her off guard

"yeah..." "yeah I'm right?" "It's so early do we have to do this now?" "I'm not going no where I just wanna know  what's going on" she sighed "I think it's truth to what you're saying I don't think he's in love with me though I think it's more so feelings of regret cause he assumed I would always be around for ... you know" "and your feelings?" "Are displaced .... I'm very happy here now we're stronger than ever but I would be lying if I said I wanted to see him in a relationship" "so you're allowed to find happiness but he's not?"

"Exactly it's selfish and what he does romantically has nothing to do with me it honestly never did " "I don't think it's romantic feelings bae ... I think you don't want him in a relationship cause then he won't just be available to you like he is now cause I can't always be here and you like your friend in the house cause at least you had something at one point most importantly your in the same city" she sat there really thinking "yeah I think you're right" he smiled "I'm so damn good" "whateverrrrr" she laughed uncomfortably "I hope this shows how much I trust you and how much I'm determined to be friends and lovers" "definitely  .... Now let's eat cause I have a surprise for you"

"oh shit I'm excited" "oh well....calm down it's just a little something" she laughed "what is it?" "you remember the last time I was at your place...and you wouldn't tell me your surprise....cause im not patient? keep that same energy" "oooooh you so petty" he laughed "I just like making you wait...." "mmmm what I tell you about that teasing shit" "is this teasing?" "yup....but since you started it ima finish it .....later" she licked her lips "mhm okay" "Oh? you think im playing?" "no you not playing but ....neither am I" "mmm okay"

"bae stop" "stop what?" "You gon tease me bad?" "Nah" she exhaled smiling "oh okay" "ima tease you good" she kisses her teeth "boy why would you say that" he laughed "don't play I might tie that ass up" "with what?" "Im sure you got something in here I can use" "I'm not helping you find it" he laughed "I'll just pin you down or hold your hands... either way you gon do what I say" she bit her lip "you hear me?" He asks looking at her dead in her eyes  "100%" "you like when I talk to you like that ... freaky ass" "shhhhh" she laughed "everytime I look at your perfect face I really be like this the same girl that swallows all of me... and my family thinks is an angel wow" "angel for them hoe for you.... Will always be my philosophy" "well damn bae" "a wife has to be all of it wrapped into one" "mmmm well you definitely that" "I know"  she smiled finishing her juice

After they get finish eating and joking she guides him to the living room. "now bae I was working all morning on this so if I missed something you can add it but ....close your eyes let me grab it" he laughed listening  "okay bae" "okay open"  YN made a calendar that shows all his games and meeting plus all his days with deuce and deuces school activities and her free days to fly in all color coordinated. She couldn't read his face she had never seen him make this face

"ummmm let me explain before you say anything.... green is your stuff pink is when im available to travel blue is when i'm free but not free enough to travel Red is all the days you have Deuce yellow is Deuce activities and I have it all written down too and I put it in your iPad so it can sync to your phone too and just incase I have new things to come up or you do because our schedule is ever evolving but also because I want this to be as easy as possible for you so I hope it makes it better" "Come here sit on my lap" she was nervous but she listened

"yes?" "This is the best gift anybody has ever got me" "bae you --" he cuts her off "i'm serious bae you woke up early to do this and you still fixed me breakfast ....I love you and this will help me a lot" " I just don't want you feeling how you was feeling last night" "gimme kiss big head" she smiled kissing his lips slowly "mmm" "damn you so special" "okay bae stop" "nah let me hype my girl you so damn amazing the way you look out for me and you really care for me I've never seen no shit like that" "well you're welcome... I love you" "I love you too thank you for listening ...."

"Always" his lips quickly find her neck sucking softly "mmm" "what's that? You like that?" "Yes ... I do" " I like you" she laughed "babyyyy" "you like me?" "A lot a lot" "you like going steady with me?" "For nowwww" he smacked his lips "wym for now?" "I mean this is cute.... But can you handle me?" "I handle you all day long I don't know why you playing lil girl" she laughed "I enjoyed my time In Boston I wish I could do it more" "you can.." "how?" "The thing with Deuce won't happen everytime" "yeah I know I just feel like until he knows me then maybe I shouldn't go to the games he's at like last week worked out perfectly because I had an outfit and I looked good and Deuce fell asleep right before the game and didn't come"

"you did look good.... Like extra good it was casual but you looked ... mmmm I don't know if I like Wednesday night or Friday night look better " she smiled "you don't get that often huh? I guess when we step out I usually am extra girly" "I like that too tho Bae but yeah it was nice to see you in the baggy clothes cause I can still see your body but it was just... so damn sexy" "I'll keep that in mind .... I didn't know if you would like it" he massaged her butt bringing her close kissing her lips "I know what you doing Jay" "what I'm doing?" "Teasing...." "that outfit on Friday could've easily have been a date night fit" "how much longer am I gonna have to wait?" She says on his lips "for what?" "This dick" "tell me how much ... you want it"

"Jayson ..." "hmmm?" "I want you really bad all I keep thinking about is the plane.... And how you let me take control" "you like being in control?" "I did up there I like knowing that you let me .... And you can take it back at anytime" "I like that you know that" she bit her lip "that you have full control? Absolutely" "that turns you on ..... don't it?" She nodded her head and then kissed him hard she began to grind he pulls away slowly

"you not in charge today though.... today I'm gonna have full control Of your body" "you're gonna tie me up?" His fingers slide her pajama shorts to the side his eyes close when he feel her wetness. "Shhhh.... Let me hear your Pussy .... Stop talking" she gasps breathing heavy as his fingers slide inside her moving extremely slow. She grinds against fingers feeling this unbearable hunger for him she needed him. He did something  inside of her that made her jolt forward "fuck fuck fuck that feels so good" "shhh or I'll stop" she kissed his jawline and then buried her head in his neck suck softly so she wouldn't make any noise. "I know you about to cum all over my fingers but I want you to hold it" YN whined "I want you to cum in my mouth instead"

he felt her smile he picks her up taking them to the bedroom. He strips and she takes her shirt off before she could take her shorts off he was in between her legs. Licking her clit painfully slow. "Jayson please..." he slides his fingers inside of her massaging the same spot as before while creating a section around her clit "ooooou thank you thank you" she loved looking down at him. Her hands played in his curls as she moaned softly. As he got more into it he would let out a noise that sounded like a growl pulling her closer to his face .... And that made her completely lose it.

"Ohhhhhh my goshhhhhh Jayyyyyyy" she felt him smile he kissed up her body immediately sliding in "kiss me" she says he kisses her as his hips began to thrust slowly. "I really was gon tease you until I felt this pussy" she smiled "you act like you ain't know" "I rediscover you every time I feel you" "woah that was beautiful" she kissed him he smiled "you're so beautiful baby" she kissed his lips almost losing it she fumbled over her words he watched her intensely "say it baby tell me you beautiful" "I'm...beau--" "bae say it" his voice became more forceful "fuck im beautiful" "yeah you are and don't you forget that shit" "Oh God--"  he laughed slightly

"fuck you about to make me......" "you wanna cum for me daddy?" "..... oh shit" he released inside of her with no warning "mmmmmmm" it was warm it felt so good. He never stopped his hips "Jay..." "I'm not stoping bae" he kisses her it was sloppy but passionate "ohhhhhhhh goshhh" her hand came in between his hips and hers. "Wasn't expecting that... was you?" "Feels so good baby.... I'm about to—" "hold it for me and breath" "mmmmm but baby—-" "if you ask nicely" "Daddy can I cum please" his hand pushes down on her stomach so his thumb could rub her clit. "Look me in my eyes" "pleaseee?" "Yeah you can cum for me .... Let everybody know who making you cum" "Jaysonnnnnnnnnn" she said loudly "hmmmm? What's my name" "oh fuck Jayson .... Making this pussy Cum" "who pussy?" "Yourssssss" "you be creaming all on this dick you so damn beautiful.... Pretty pussy" he maintained eye contact with her as she continued to break. "Feels so good" "fuckkkk" he groaned as he released inside of her again. He pulls out slowly

"whew" she said smiling he laid down "I hope you good cause I'm tapped out" "I'm good.." she kissed his forehead laughing a little bit "good" "but if I wasn't you would have to find the energy" She stands up grabbing her big t shirt sliding it on her body and then laying back down "not today...." "You can't be cumming and then keep going that's why you so tired" "you trying to call me old?" "Yupp that's exactly what I'm saying" "even if I was old I'm an athlete I got stamina" "you didn't today... and that's okay" she laughed he rolled his eyes getting up she could tell he was annoyed so she stopped laughing but she was still smiling

  "bae I was joking"  "don't joke about our sex life... when you know I wasn't " he cuts himself off "that's a brief period in our relationship.... It's over now" "whatever" he walks out of the room after putting on shorts. She gets up following him down the stairs "what is the problem Jayson!!" "take yo ass back upstairs" "No!! because I make one joke and you're storming off" "it wasn't funny though" "Well i'm sorry" "alright" "what's the issue" "what's your issue?" "My boyfriend is mad at me....and I don't like that" she walks over to him kissing his chest looking up at him She figured if she tried the sweet approach she would get further

"Im not mad....I just--" "I hurt your feelings..?" "well....yeah" "Im sorry...You're the best lover I've ever had and I mean that" He smiled "yeah?" "the only reason I felt like I could say that is because I thought you knew that bae plus I know if I said I want some more right now you would give it to me...so I am sorry" He picks her sitting her on the island "what makes it good for you?" "babyyy" she whined "I need to hear you say it" She took a deep breath he could tell she was getting shy he found that cute

"I don't know how to explain." "try bae" "well..." he cuts her off as soon as she looks down "look at me in my eyes and tell me" She looks up at him speaking softly "well like it just seems you always know what to say and where to touch me...and I like that a lot" His fingers casually went up and down her thighs "Like I can read your mind?" "yeah.... you've opened up my eyes to things I didn't even know I liked until you said them" he kissed her lips softly. "like what" "mmmm" "Like what?" he kissed her lips asking again "that....I like it when you do that" "what I do?" He smiled "you talk to me like..you pry answers out of me but reassure me while making me feel like the sexiest woman on this planet and like I can do no wrong...you just make me feel so damn good" "i'm glad I do that for you bae"

"what I do for you?" "make me feel like nobody in the world can fuck you the way I fuck you....I honestly believe no man in this world knows your body the way that I do ....can make you cum like I do any of that" "their isn't" he kissed her lips again "niggas cant even handle you ...they wouldn't know what to do with your ass" "what you mean" "I handle you" "handle me?" "Yeah bae you know good and well I know how to put you in your place I let you be loud and talk all that shit but at the end of the day you know who's running the show" she bit her lip "I guesssss" she smiled making him smile too "deny deny deny that's fine but we know the truth" he kisses her again this time pulling her body closer to him. "We'll handle me now" "in what way?" "I want you" she whined  "one thing you did get right is I have more energy"he sighed "more energy to do what though?"

"Give you another round ... if that's what you were talking about you wanted" "what do you think I wanted?" "Yn you know you gotta say that shit don't fuckin play with me" he says roughly making her smile "I like to play with you....." "ight bet" he picks her up taking her back to the bedroom she couldn't help but smile "since you like to play with me Ima play with you... stay there don't move" he went to his bag grabbing his belt coming back to  the bed he climbs on top of her.

"Give me your hands" she hesitates so he grabbed them roughly tying his belt around them making makeshift handcuffs then he takes the shirt she has on pulling it over her head and tying it onto her headboard. "See how far you can move your hands" she moved her arms just to the point where she could see them at the top of her head "right here I think" she said softly he smiled at how she was already submitting "keep them flat on the bed" she listens watching him anticipating his next move

"You scared?" He asked staring in her eyes she shook her head no "just excited" "what you think gon happen?" He stands up "you're gonna fuck me good" "damn when if it's not good?" She swallows hard "it will be .... I have all faith in you" he smiled "you didn't think about something though" his fingers slowly started slowly going down her body she bit her lips watching his hand slowly "you thinking about something you missed?" His fingers rested right below  her tummy threatening to go lower but never doing so her breath became heavy

"what did I miss" "how bad ima tease you...." She swallowed hard "how that sound?" He asks staring in her eyes "Do I have a choice?" She almost moaned "if you want me to stop I will.... But I'm stoping everything" she bit her lip "sounds good" "so what you want me to do?" "Tease me..." "until I wanna stop?" "Yes" he leans over kissing her lips passionately his fingers slide inside of her making her gasp in between the kiss. "Don't moan" "at all?" He smiled "at all" her eyes closed "and you gotta look at me" "babyyyyyy" she whined "what?" He kissed her forehead as her hips started to move slowly against his hand

"it's a lot of rules" "want me to stop?" "No" she said softly "you hear that noise your pussy making? You loving this don't even lie to me" "I wasn't gonna lie" "focus on cumming for me" "maybe if my hands weren't tied" "too bad they are" she pouts as his thumb rubs over her clit "ahhhh" "no moaning" she bits her lip "baby" she gasp "hmmm? Tell me what's happening?" "I'm cummingggg" "that's a funny way of asking" "can I .... Please" "good girl ... cum for me" her body shakes against him he climbs on top of her kissing her roughly. "Tell me what you want from me" "Jayson... what are you doing to me" "saying thank you...now tell me" "make love to me" he climbs on top of her kissing her lips and then kissing down her body slowly "spread your legs for me" she listened but he felt like she didn't do it fast enough so aggressively forced her legs apart "what you want now?" "Untie me.... I can't —-" he started to kiss on her inner thighs making her more weak "we're getting to my favorite part" "Jayson... please" her hips wiggled as she moved them up and down he darted his tongue out making contact with her clit she shivered

"I thought you like to be tease?" "This is too much" "but look how wet you are...." He kissed her again and then licks his lips "yes" "yes what?" "I—" "stop? You want me to stop?" "Ughhhh" he smirked "is that frustration?" "Yes! I don't play with you like this" "cause you know better" the tip of his tongue carefully traced around her clit before he completely took it in his mouth "mmmmmmm" soon after his fingers were inside of her "feel like I told you not to moan.... Maybe I should stop" "no ... it won't happen again I'm sorry please don't stop" he smiled going right back to his meal he loved how her legs shook and threatened to close around his head but she stopped herself "gosh" she said softly he looks up at her groaning softly as he gets her closer and closer. He kissed up her body making it to her lips sticking his tongue down her throat

"you want more?" "Yes please" "you sure?" "Yes sir" he slides inside of her groaning softly. "I miss touching you..." he kisses her forehead pulling the belt so that the metal piece would come out of the hole and her hands can be free. "That better?" "Yes way better thank you" her hand's immediately went to his back when he slides in. "You feel so fuckin good I love you YN" "I love you to Jay" "how much?" "More than... idk bae a lot" she laughed slightly as his hips started to move slowly

"that little huh?" He smiled "no it's that much that I can't even think of something that measures up to it" "If you could measure the galaxy and count every star in it multiply it be a thousand.....that's what would measure to how much I love you" he clearly didn't want her response because he kissed her hard as his hips increased

"mmmmmmmm" she moaned into his hand while staring in his eyes he smiled "good girl" he kisses her forehead and she breaks almost immediately. "Baby.... Pleasee" "please what?" "Cum for me.... Please" he placed two fingers in her mouth she sucks them softly "yeah.... Just like that keep looking at me" he loved the feeling of her mouth sucking any part of his body.... Plus the eye contact he was definitely ready to explode and so he did. She smiled when he closed his eyes because it was too much for him. "Shit...." He said softly. When he pulled out he aimed for her stomach but it was all the way up by her boobs too. "I'm a toaster strudel?" "I should've made a design then" he laughed getting up he disappeared to the bathroom but came back quickly wiping her down.

"Thank you baby" "mhm you know I got you" "that thing you said earlier...it's really sticking with me" he sat down on the edge of the bed with a worried look on his face "what thing?" "It was so beautiful ... how you rediscover me everytime you feel me" he smiled "well that was true bae...." "Does it only apply to sex?" "Hmmm" he sat there really thinking which made her smile he starts talking again  "I don't know the answer to that because it's loaded" she bit her lip

"do you mind explaining a lil bit" he laughed "yeah um I study you everyday regardless of if we're together or apart I learn something new about you everyday so I don't know if that's rediscovering or if it's just me still getting to know you." "That makes a lot of sense" "yeah probably because it's the truth" he joked then he continued talking "come here" she sits up with the sheet wrapped around her body "yesss?" He kissed her forehead "you stuck with me .... You not go nowhere .... You hear me" she smiled "good cause I don't want too" "that's good .... Cause you no longer have that choice"

[a-ferins-fire]

To my Jaybird, You will think i'm insane when you return and read all these stupid letters, my signature on all the covers. I remember the day we heard of Ava's death like it was yesterday. You were home, You hadn't heard from the mission in awhile, And you came home scared, worried. I hadn't seen you like that in years. I remember the frantic calls, the scary hours and the tears turned sobs. I didn't mean to break down that day, I didn't mean to break down into tears in your arms. But i'd lost my Baby, I lost the thing that I thought was keeping us together. When you stayed with me, It was a miracle. I didn't realize then that Faye wouldn't let you leave anyway. Sometimes I wonder how you felt that night, the call of the Navy reporting our baby's dead body. You didn't cry that night. But you held me for the first time in years and I couldn't stop crying. I wish I hadn't cried so much, because I fear I may have missed the whole scene. Jayson, My Love, I miss the way your arms felt wrapped around me. Everyday I miss the way you'd kiss my head and whisper things to me in order to keep me safe. I wish I could've done the same for you. The tavern is busy lately, and I will do my best to keep up. I call Jay frequently, speaking to her from the black sea. I worry for you all. and I pray for you all, though Aster was never on my side. Till you hold me again my love, I will work and I will pray for you my Jaybird. - Love, Maymay (Malenia) Ferin.

|He instantly freezes at the mention of Ava's death. He remembered the tears of his wife, holding her and feeling her warmth, yet being cold. It shook him, he had forgotten that the gods too would one day fall but long before then do their children.||

||He didn't mean to hold on in a way she'd slip away. He didn't mean to build the walls that split them apart, but he'd lost his baby, and wanted so desperately to follow in his mothers footsteps and be apathetic to the idea of his blood flowing out kin, blending with the waves of the sea.||

||He feels a slipping desire to hold her once again and love her in the same way she now loved him.||

[goose-duck]

English Class Thing

~~~~~

Artist Statement: Long Way Down - Jayson Reynolds

My artistic choices. To explain these is simple, my art style used while drawing this is rougher because if you read through the book or even look at the cover there's sharp lines rough shapes, it all seems angry, distressed, sad, it's expressive of how the main character feels throughout the book. The lines remind me of a visual depiction of a clouded mind, someone with many thoughts, not all collected or even similar. As we see in the book the main characters thoughts are in battle, do I uphold the rules and kill the guy who killed my brother or do I break the rules and not become just another killer? And his judgement is clearly clouded because he's in a state of stress, causing him to think killing is the best way to go about this. Point of all of this is, the sharp lines are his thoughts, his emotions, the way you'd feel when your brother's been killed.

As you can see I also soften my sharp harder lines. That wasn't just a choice based off my usual art style, it was a choice that will be further explained now. Softer lines are obviously usually used for softer characters, soft lines aren't used in the book but the main character does have a soft side to his sharp lines, maybe a slight Gaussian Blur. He loves his mother and worries that by doing what he's going to do he'll make her life harder, he worries about her and her skin condition, can she take care of herself, will she be okay without him? When in the elevator and he sees these people he once knew, these people that are now dead, maybe long gone, maybe just passed away, he feels deeply about their loss, he misses them, he talks to them like they were never gone in the first place. He also admitted he cried when these people died. His brother’s death is also a good example of a softer side, he never did let himself cry, but he was sentimental, nothing how empty his room felt without his brother, wanting to cry but knowing better than to let a tear slip. The main character is very caring, though he's trying to keep that under wraps so he can uphold the rules and avenge his brother.

Regarding the use of colour; I used mostly grays so when I used red it'd be emphasized. The red symbolizes the blood of his brother, pain, the way he felt when he saw his brother’s corpse on the ground, blood pooling around it. If you look at the red it's even shaped like a blood splatter or a gun shot wound, the bullet still in his heart, both literally and figuratively. My drawing depicts a face, the main character’s face, Will’s face. Will’s face when he first saw his brother, Shawn, laying dead in the street. The immediate shock, before you can even process what's going on, before the tears even try to come out, that look in your eye, that feeling in your heart, that's what I was trying to capture in the red.

[ihatemyselfbutidolovetea]

3/25/2024

I'm coping with so much pain and stress.

Jayson took me to planet fitness and showed me how to use certain machines. That was so sweet of him. He even showed me breathing techniques. I loved getting rewarded with smiles and head pats from him... It was nice up until he sent me home. I might have eaten something bad because my stomach was hurting. I thought it was my period until I started shitting my guts out for a bit... I went to work anyway cuz I wasn't sick.

So here I am now... lonely... my reproductive system trying to kill me and seeing chunks of flesh the size of goldfish in the toilet... waiting on my hands for how my graduation application will be received will I be allowed to graduate early? Will I have three classes? four classes five? What if there will be no classes available that I need to graduate for the summer? what if it takes me another year? I'm so scared of this not going to plan I feel like throwing up I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this please stop... May's coming... the month I have to prepare I have to get insurance from my job... it feels like I have to grow up now... I know I have to. But all those years of playing and being happy and free feel like they were in a dream and I'm about to be woken up.

Jayson has been talking to me a lot. I'm happy that he's gone back to the gym. He's happier just like in the old days. And since he's back to being happy I could see him smile more. I was with him and staring at him and involuntarily said "you have such a nice smile." I think his smile was the first thing that I fell in love with... That's why I need to do this I need this plan to go right. I cry in pain at the thought of losing him.

Before I spiral there are other things I wanted to meditate on... I've been thinking a lot about Schmudd... I keep thinking I'm getting everything about this wrong... I think he feels multiple complicated ways about me... I confessed to him something terrible I did, something that goes against his moral principles and you know how he reacted? Nothing. No emotional reaction. Nothing positive or negative just emotionless disapproval. And yet I was on the verge of tears that I couldn't lie to him and make him think I was a perfect angel he could idealize. I wonder if Schmudd's mental state is suffering when he gives me the #1 Disney Princess reward of having a high value man ignore other girls in favor of me. Which is not love, I would never say I let that happen out of love. It's a seprate feeling because I like it when he treats the other girls in the server nice and gentlemanly. He might even flirt with them. But I'm not too bothered by it because I know them. But I will throw a tantrum if he's going about it with strangers. But here's the thing. His illness gives him the urge to be alone and completely unavalible to anyone

pain too much can't think. maybe I'll finish my thought another day

still in pain. but I have now found new pain and stress. I cried in the bathtub, ate some stress gummies and made some tea. Still crying. I wanted to talk to Schmudd but I didn't want to vent my problems on him if he was suffering too. So I asked. No answer. Asked again. Got a passive aggressive response that essentially translated to "fuck off leave me alone." So I cried in the bath and went offline from discord. It's not fun to be rejected by your best friend and I don't know how I'm going to handle it in the future, having this pattern of rejection. I don't know why the two most important men in my life ended up being the kinds of men that are pleasant most days, but then randomly they will reject you and want to be alone and you can't rely on them right now. Is this how most people are? Regardless it hurts. I feel abandoned.

This experience made me realize something. When someone does something to make you angry, whether intentionally or unintentionally it boils up these feelings of range. But if it was JUST because of the incident the problem would be solved. in the flames of that rage the core is that you feel wronged, yeah? It's rage inducing to know that someone had that much power over you. So you want to take that power back. Maybe by making them angry back, hitting them, being passive aggressive, anything to send the aggressor into a rage that makes them lose control. Ergo, you have won the situation, you are powerful and dominant. Schmudd did something to me that hurt my feelings and made me feel unsafe. And something tells me that if I voiced my feelings with those exact words he's not going to care. Meaning he has taken power from me, he finds power in pushing people away and being comfortable with being alone. By begging for his attention and validation I have lost. All I could do in that situation is flee and go gray. If he really valued my kindness and companionship, he'd eventually get out of this funk himself and message me to apologize. Whether or not he ends up doing that is out of my control. On this day we'd usually hang out in VC, but if it ends up not happening today, then I'm not gonna try to hang out. I'm too sad and defeated.

Am I mad at Schmudd? No just hear broken... There's no point in being mad at a severely mentally ill man. He promised me safety, but its confusing when mentally ill people can't/don't owe anyone safety really. It is what it is...

Time to escape into Fruits Basket! yaayyyyyyy

[rumiracle-whip]

i think they were really close with kira, i think she was like a little sister to them. i think that she was always the one to watch over them as they played together because jayson was gone and may was far too busy. i think she let them braid her hair and she sword fought kira with sticks while jay was fashioning tiny little bows out of twigs and string. i think that when ayva died kira cried more at their funeral then she ever had before. i think it only made her throw herself into her work more then ever while jay closed herself off from the world. i think the only way kira is able to justify being on the side of the navy anymore is because at least shes fighting against the people who took ayva from her, no matter how much she doesn't actually want to fight, no matter how much they question if they're actually on the right side.

thinking about ayva again

[jrueships]

Rating men on a scale of 1 - 10 on how they cry during s*x

THE EMOJIS an ART as ALWAYS ! But of COURSE... i am a man of the People.. BUT I ONLY INCLUDED A FEW... and cut down the content because it's a Monday, we don't need to be goin crazy on a Monday yall 😭

DeMar DeRozan: 10/10 quality crying !!!!!!! Little teardrops dotting the eyes, silent tears. Two tears rolling slow at a time! He'd cry because he can't believe how beautiful the other is under him, thinking over all the trust and love it took for them to get where they are now. How he never wants to let the moment go. How he doesn't deserve his lover etcetc just good service t*p things

Jaren Jackson Jr: he only gets some (s*x) at clubs to inflate his ego as a masculine man s*x haver (nonsus intent sus formatting), so he probably thinks he's too good to cry during s*x , but he isn't. he really isn't. 1/10 crying because he snots and slobs but refuses to admit it. Would blame his tears to being allergic to the bedsheets then hate you for making love to him in dirty bedsheets. He's a HOTEL lover not a MOTEL lover; there's a DIFFERENCE 😤

John Collins: would start crying then stop s*x to talk about it because he's the kinda mom who'd constantly ask around the party if her food is good then end up the one complimenting it the most. He needs overclarification Always. Would also make CLEAR lines that this is NOT because he's a VIRGIN ok he gets MAAAD pusspuss bro 4/10

Kyle lowry: Kyle lowry doesn't CRY okay he makes OTHER people cry. (He does cry. And Deebo loves it when he Does.) 10/10. Didn't say much because I wanna hear what everyone else's thoughts are on this. Descriptions Appreciated 😊

Jimmy Butler: cries only when he doesn't get his way, which can Never happen. And won't. Ever . 0/10

Ja Morant: if he says something sexy and his partner doesn't say it's sexy, he's gonna excuse himself to the bathroom and cry. 5/10

Kris Dunn: he's a great crier but the nba hates pillowprincesses. So no one will ever know. But I do. I know. 10/10

Steph curry: the nba hates pillowprincesses excluding steph. 10/10

Jayson tatum: and tatum. 10/10

Josh Christopher: he looks like he'd impregnate his local Sims then fight them for fun. 6/10 crying but the kind of crying where flailing is involved

Kevin Durant: he cries but in an ugly h*mophobic way. 9/10 because it is funny though

Paul George: also a h*mophobic cry but because he's hot his patheticness is ten times more enjoyable. 9/10 minus one point because he's Paul george

Joel Embiid: he would cry but because he thinks he's doing all the work and he's tired of being underappreciated. It's just so hard being so sexy :( 0/10

Kyle Kuzma: a pretty cry if you mute the sound. He thinks whining like a puppy is cute but it's not. It's weird. He's weird. 6/10

Russell Westbrook: he cries rarely.. but when he does.... no one lives to find out. It probably looks pretty though! An elegant cry that's quick to get wiped away and then it's back to business of making sure no one living ever has the ability to speak out on it or he will quickly turn that alive status to the opposite. 10 out of hypothesized 10!

Dejounte murray: doesn't cry during it but cries in the post of it when you laugh at his 'Rise and Grind' phone alarm. 7/10

Damian Lillard: cries but only during slow s*x. And when you make fun of his Rise and Grind alarm. 10/10

[study-coffee-chicago]

Seasons of PD and Med: Season 0: The Backstory (A Halstead! Brothers + Halstead Sister! imagine)

Hey, I had an idea to pick episodes from every season of PD and Med and write them as if Will and Jay had a younger sister involved. This is the first installment and it will deal with some big things in Jay and Will's young adult years and Y/N's childhood years! Stay tuned for the next update which is season 1 of PD (I'm not gonna say what ep it is yet because I want you guys to be surprised.) I just made up a name for Mama Halstead since she hasn't been named in the show...I'm still waiting on that crumb that the writers neglected to add.

Anyway, enough of the long note, enjoy!

Will's age: 20

Jay's age: 18

Your age: 4

"Dad, I'm leaving tomorrow! It's not like I can change it now!" Jay yelled at his father as he paced the living room, his mom and dad sitting on the couch. His mom was trying to calm his dad, but that wasn't working very well.

"Both of you, keep your voice down," Amelia Halstead hissed at her husband and youngest son. "Y/N's sleeping. And if either of you wakes her up, there will be hell to pay tomorrow."

"Sh- Crap," Jay fixed his language quickly, knowing that he shouldn't swear around his parents. "Y/N."

Amelia's eyes went wide. "Jayson Halstead! You haven't told her yet? You said you wanted to be the one to tell her!"

"He won't have to tell her anything if he doesn't go," Pat Halstead shrugged.

"Patrick." Amelia gave Pat a warning look. "He's his own person and as much as we both hate it, he's an adult in the eyes of the law and can make his own decisions. One of which is whether or not he wants to join the military."

"I just think he should go out and get a real job. Why is it that none of my sons want to do that? Will wants to become a doctor and waste God knows how much time and money in school and this one wants to go and get himself killed. And for what? Because you want to play with guns?"

"Dad," Jay groaned. "We've been over this. I want to help protect people and I want to do that somewhere outside the country because there are others over there who really need it. Also, I like the adrenaline rush."

"Jay, not the time," Amelia scolded in reference to the last part.

"Sorry, Mom," Jay mumbled.

"I'm still not okay with this, no matter your reasoning. I don't need you to come home in a coffin!" Pat yelled.

You heard the booming voice of your dad down the hallway and jumped awake. Why was he yelling? Shouldn't he be sleeping just like you had been? But, maybe he was just yelling at the Blackhawks game as he did that often. Maybe if you got up he'd give you some juice. Your mom was always strict about no sugar before--or during--bedtime, but your brothers and your dad were a lot more easygoing.

So, you slid out of bed and walked down the hallway, excited to see if you'd be able to get some grape juice in your favorite princess cup. You clutched your Build-A-Bear in your hand, which was also dressed in pajamas, as it was bedtime, and walked down the hall. But, you stopped short when you heard that Jay was yelling as well.

"I'm leaving tomorrow and there's nothing you can do about it, Dad! If you hate it so much, feel free to stay home when we all go to the airport!"

Jay was leaving? Did he have another seven-sleep-long soccer camp? He always had those in the summer. And, when you went to his games with your mom when the leaves changed, he scored lots of goals.

"Jay wait--"

"Mom, I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

Jay got halfway down the hall before he saw you.

"Hey, what are you doing up? Isn't it way past your bedtime?" Jay asked, his voice softening as he crouched down in front of you.

Your lower lip started to tremble and you pulled your Build-A-Bear, who you had affectionately named Beary, close to your chest. "You go to soccer for lots of sleeps again, Jay Jay?"

Jay sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Of course, you had heard him say he was leaving. And of course, the only thing you had to compare it to was him leaving for his soccer camps which he always went to at the end of July.

"What's the biggest number you can count to?" he asked, trying to sound excited.

"Um...um...um," you furrowed your eyebrows, trying to remember what you had learned at daycare. "Ten," you finally answered.

"I'm gonna be gone a long time," he told you.

"So, ten sleeps?" Ten was a long time. It had two numbers!

"Longer than that." He placed a hand on your shoulder and went to hug you because he saw the tears in your eyes, but you ran away from him. "Y/N, wait--"

"Mommy!" you yelled as you ran into the living room as fast as your little legs could carry you.

Amelia Halstead jumped up from her place on the couch. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?" She crouched down and then picked you up.

"Jay Jay," you hiccupped as tears rolled down your face. "Jay Jay leaving for more than ten sleeps! He not my favowite broder anymore!" you wailed.

The door opened, revealing Will who had just returned from the library since he was taking some summer classes. "What am I, kiddo? Chopped liver?"

"Will my favowite now."

Will put his backpack in his room and then entered Jay's, who was sitting on his bed with what looked like a new outfit for your Build-A-Bear right next to him.

"So, I'm assuming you told her?" Will asked after he had sat down next to his younger brother.

"Yeah. And she hates me now, so there's that."

"Nah, she's just confused. She's four, Jay."

"I know that."

"Did you tell her why you're leaving? Where you're going?"

"No. When I told her I'd be gone for more than ten sleeps she started to cry and then ran to Mom. I made her cry, Will. You're the only one who's supposed to do that."

"Hey," Will smacked Jay upside the head. "I stole her bear once and I'm forever dubbed the horrible brother, yeah okay."

Jay laughed. "I mean, it's true, though. She hated you and cried for hours until you came home and gave it to her because you hid it in your car."

"I agree. It was a dick move." Will picked up the bear outfit. "What's this?"

"I got her a military outfit for her bear. Figured maybe it'd help her feel like I'm not so far away. And, it wouldn't freak her out when she sees me in my uniform tomorrow."

Jay and Will looked up at the sound of his door being opened. "Someone wanted to see you," their mom said, still holding you in her arms. "Isn't that right, sweetheart?"

You nodded. "Down peas," you said, trying your best to say please.

The minute you were safely on the floor, you ran to Jay's bed and hauled yourself up all by yourself. "I sowwy," you told your big brother.

"It's okay. But you know what will make me feel better?" you shook your head no. "A hug."

"Okay!" you jumped into Jay's lap and hugged him, unknowingly jumping somewhere that hurt him, causing him to grimace and Will to burst out laughing. After a warning glance from your mom though, Will stopped.

Once Jay regained his composure, he grabbed the bear outfit from next to him. "I have a present for you."

You pulled away from him and looked at him expectantly. "Weally? But I was mean."

"I know you didn't mean it. I forgive you."

You had no idea what he was talking about, but nodded anyway.

"You know how the good guys fight the bad guys?" Jay started. You nodded. "I'm leaving to fight some really bad guys."

"So you a good guy?"

"Yes," he chuckled. "And I wear something that looks like this. So, I thought maybe Beary would like his own. That way, you know that me and him are both the good guys and when I'm gone, he'll fight off all the bad guys in your bad dreams."

"Beary can fight da bad guys?"

"Yes, it's because he has this. He can even just wear the hat and be fighting bad guys."

He handed you the camo shirt, pants, and hat for your bear.

"You not wearing dis," you told him.

Now it was your mom's turn to butt in. "It's because he's sleepy. He doesn't wear it to sleep. But, he'll wear it tomorrow and Beary and Jay will match."

"Beary match Jay Jay 'morrow?" you asked, looking up at your mom expectantly.

"Yes. And they'll match faster if both you and Beary go to sleep."

"Weally?"

"Really. Now, how about we go to sleep and you can put Beary's new outfit on tomorrow?"

"Okay. Night night, Will. Night night, Jay Jay."

Once your mom had taken you out of the room, Will spoke up. "Damn, now I'm gonna have to get that bear a white coat once I graduate from med school just to one-up you."

"His name's Beary," Jay told him.

Will rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'm gonna have to get Beary a white coat when I graduate from med school. Happy now, little brother?"

"Beary happy."

***

You, your mom, dad, and Will all walked into the airport to say goodbye to Jay before he boarded his flight. Beary was dressed in his camo, but you hadn't seen Jay dressed in his yet as he had left early to say goodbye to Allie and some other friends before you had gotten the chance to see him this morning.

"Look, there's Jay," your mom said, trying to be as happy as she could so that you wouldn't get sad. But, on the inside, her heart was breaking. But, once again, this is what her son wanted to do, so she wouldn't stop him.

"Hey guys," he said as he walked up to you, again, trying to be as happy as he could. But, since you couldn't really read the tone yet, you missed the nervousness in his voice.

"You and Beary match!"

"I told you we would! Would I ever lie to you?"

You shook your head no. You trusted both your big brothers to always tell you the truth.

"C'mere." Will was the first one to give Jay a hug. "I'm gonna miss your annoying--" Will leaned in to whisper in Jay's ear, knowing that if his mom heard him swear around you, he'd never hear the end of it. "--ass."

"I'll miss you, too. And all that annoying school talk you do. Dad?"

He turned to his dad and he hugged him, shocking both Jay and Will. "Stay safe out there, son."

"I will."

"Mom, please don't cry," Jay said as he turned to your mom, who was still holding you in her arms.

"I just love you so much. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Mom," he said as he swallowed a lump in his throat and hugged her. "I love you, too."

He pulled away and then looked at you. "And you, I am gonna miss you the most."

"Weally?"

"Yes, don't tell Will, but you're my favorite."

"Mommy! I'm Jay Jay's favowite."

"Flight 51163 now boarding."

"I gotta go. But, remember what I told you, okay? Beary will always fight your bad dreams for you because he has his own uniform now."

"Just like you?"

Jay nodded. "Now, can Mommy put you down so I can get a big Y/N hug?"

Your mom set you on the ground and Jay crouched down to your level and enveloped you in a hug. "I gotta go," he said as he pulled away. "Be good for Mommy and Daddy."

"I will. I love you Jay Jay."

"I love you, too." He stood up and looked at the rest of his family. "All of you."

He turned and started to walk away. More than ten sleeps is too long! And, before your mom could pick you back up, you ran towards him, dropping Beary in the process.

"No no no Jay Jay, peas stay!" you yelled.

Jay's head whipped around just as you attached yourself his leg with tears running down your face.

"Y/N, Jay's gonna be home before you know it," your mom said.

"But- But I don't want Jay Jay leave. I want Jay Jay home!"

"I know, I know. But remember what he told you last night? He's gotta get all the bad guys. And, you want him to get all the bad guys, don't you?"

"You pwomise to get all da bad guys, Jay Jay?" you asked, still holding onto his leg.

"I promise."

Your mom reached down to grab you and then lifted you up into her arms.

Another guy wearing the same clothes as Jay came up to you. "Is this yours?" he asked you.

"Beary! I dropped Beary, Mommy!" you exclaimed as you reached out and took your bear from him.

"I see that. Now, what do you say?"

"Tank you!"

"You're welcome," he said.

Then, you waved goodbye as your mom walked away with you and returned to Will and your dad. All the while, you clutched Beary, making sure he didn't fall out of your grasp again.

"Kid sister?" the guy who handed you Beary back asked Jay.

"Yeah, she's four. Doesn't really get what's going on. Thanks for giving that back. She would've gone crazy if she got in the car and it wasn't there," Jay answered. "I'm Jay Halstead by the way."

"Greg Gerwitz," he replied. "But everyone calls me Mouse."

***

Will's age: 22

Jay's age: 20

Your age: 6

"Mom is gonna be shocked, man," Will said to Jay as he parked his car in the driveway. "I just hope she doesn't me kill for keeping it a secret from her."

"I think that'll be the last thing on her mind when she sees me. Now, you said that her and Y/N are leaving at 8:15, right?"

"Yeah, so you better go stand outside my car now because it's 8:14."

Meanwhile, inside you ran back down the hallway to your room. "Y/N!" Your mom shouted after you. "We have to go! You don't want to be late on your first day of kindergarten, do you?"

You ran to your room and then grabbed Beary. You had changed him back into his military uniform outfit--or, what you called Jay Jay's clothes--earlier this morning. It was the only thing Beary wore during the day since Jay's been gone. You'd put him into his pajamas at night and then right back into the military uniform outfit when you woke up.

"I'm back, Mama! Beary's coming to school with me!"

"That reminds me," she pulled out a small toy backpack from behind her back. "Beary can't go to school without a backpack now, can he?"

"No, Mommy! Thank you!" you quickly put the red backpack on Beary's back and then your mom took a picture.

Then, you and your mom stepped out the front door.

Jay and Will were both leaning against Will's car. Tears came to Jay's eyes when he saw that your bear was still in that military outfit he'd gotten you two years ago before he left for basic training and then for Afghanistan.

Through a rushed phone call a few months ago, Jay had asked Will when your first day of school was. He didn't want to miss it, being the good big brother he was. So, once he had a date, he went on a mission to get himself off his tour one week early. Somehow, he was successful. Then, he coordinated with Will about what time his flight was landing in Chicago and he'd picked him up. The two brothers spent the night at a hotel--Will saying he was staying at a friend's house--and then driven home that morning.

You were having a very intense conversation with your mom about what you hoped kindergarten would be like when she stopped in her tracks and put her hand over her mouth.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" you asked, looking up at her with wide eyes.

"Hi, Mom."

You knew that voice. But, usually, it only came through the phone and your mom wasn't holding the phone right now.

You looked away from your mom and towards the sound of footsteps.

There, right in front of you, was your big brother in his military uniform that matched Beary's.

"Jay Jay!" you yelled and sprinted towards him.

"There's my favorite kindergartner!" Jay exclaimed when he picked you up. "Did you miss me?"

"I missed you this much!" You spread your arms out as far as they could go.

"Really?" You nodded your head. "You missed me a lot, huh? Well, I missed you more!"

"Did you get the bad guys?"

Jay swallowed, images from his deployment and having people bleed out in front of him coming to the forefront of his mind. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, Y/N. I got all the bad guys."

"Good!"

"How did you- How did you both do this?" your mom choked out, in tears.

"Mommy, don't cry," you told her, still in Jay's arms. "Jay Jay's home, be happy."

"I am happy, baby. These are happy tears. But how did you do this? I thought you weren't supposed to be home for another week, Jay!"

"Me and Will talked about it. I found out when Y/N's first day of school was, and the rest just fell into place. I couldn't miss walking my favorite sister to her first day at big kid school, now could I?" he asked, tickling your stomach, causing you to giggle.

"No, stop! Jay Jay stop!" you giggled and he set you back down on the ground.

"How about you walk to school with us and then the three of us go out for breakfast?" your mom suggested.

"What about me?" you asked, looking up at your mom. "Can I come?"

"You'll be in school, honey. And, remember what I said you'd get after school?"

"A donut!" you exclaimed.

"Wow! Someone's lucky!" Jay said, overexaggerating it.

"Make sure you tell them it was your first day of school, Y/N," Will started, "because I know they'll be sure to put extra sprinkles on it."

"Mommy! I get extra sprinkles!"

"So, I heard. But, we better get going, we don't want to be late."

"Sorry to burst your bubble, Mom," Will started, "But I gotta start heading back to New York."

"Med school can't wait another day, huh?" Jay asked.

"I've already missed one lecture, but it was on the ethics and implications of not respecting a DNR...which is common sense in the medical world. But, I don't think I can afford to miss anymore. Sorry guys."

"You'll be back soon though, right?" you asked.

"Yup, I'll be back for Thanksgiving. A lot faster than Jay got back."

"Okay!" you exclaimed. Then, you grabbed your mom's hand and Jay's and walked to school in the middle of them, excited to have your big brother who fought the bad guys back home.

***

Will's age: 25

Jay's age: 23

Your age: 9

It's been three years since Jay's first tour ended, and he was currently overseas on his second tour. You were in third grade now, so you enjoyed getting to write letters to him and tell him all about school. You'd also send some to Will in New York so that he didn't feel left out. And, Will would send you these super cool things called postcards with pictures of different places in New York on them!

Overseas in Afghanistan, all hell had broken loose. Jay and Mouse were in the same unit again, which was great, but what wasn't so great was what happened with his Humvee. The Humvee had hit an IED and left Jay and Mouse as the only two survivors. Jay was trying to do his job the best he could, but he wasn't sleeping, the images of that day etched in his mind and always there, even when his eyes were closed.

In the northeastern part of the US, Will was procrastinating all his homework--but somehow still turning it in on time and doing well on exams--while he worked long, unpaid hours at a hospital, learning everything there was to know about treating patients and performing surgery. He was also partying a lot in his spare time. He had seen one of his professors, Yates, at a party, so that was weird and freaked him out. A grown man partying with his students? Why? But, Will had more important things going on to worry about than why the hell one of his professors was at a big ass house party.

Back at home, your mom was crying and you had asked her what was wrong, but she told you not to worry about it. Despite that, you were worried. You had never seen your mom cry like this. She didn't even cry this much when Jay and Will left!

"Mom?" you asked when you got home from school to see her sitting at the kitchen table crying.

She frantically wiped away her tears to try and play off that nothing was wrong. You looked down at the stack of papers in front of her and noticed that one said something about a will. There wasn't an "a" in front of Will's name! He was just Will!

"Mom! They messed up Will's name! See? I'll fix it!" You picked up the pen next to you and uncapped it.

"No!" your mom yelled.

"Why? It's wrong."

"I'm sorry,  baby. These are just really important papers that you can't write on, okay? They're adult papers."

"Will and Jay are adults?" you asked, your eyes going wide. No, they weren't; your mom still called them her baby boys.

"They are!" She laughed at your expression.

"When will I be an adult?"

"You've got nine years yet, baby. You have to wait until you're-- until you're eighteen," she stuttered, trying not to get choked up as she realized that she probably wouldn't be here when you turned eighteen. If the doctors were right, she wouldn't even be here for your tenth birthday.

"Mom, why are you crying?" You sat in the kitchen chair next to her and looked up at her with curiosity in your eyes.

Now was as good a time as any, your mom thought to herself. Both Will and Jay knew and Jay said he'd be home any time now since he had been honorably discharged between the Humvee and IED incident and your mom getting sick.

"Sweetie, mom's really sick," she told you.

You cocked your head to the side. "So, you just need to go to the hospital or get Will to fix you up."

"I wish it were that simple, baby. But, the sickness is way inside my body and is moving around too much to have Will fix it."

"But can't they go inside with those fancy tools that Jay's scared of?"

"It's not as simple as going in with a few needles, baby."

"But what about that yucky stuff you give me?" you asked, referring to the grape flavored medicine.

You heard the door open. "The important thing is that I'm okay right now. I'll just be a little tired and we might have to go to the hospital soon."

"Mom? You here?"

"Jay!" you yelled and ran to the living room, the emotional talk with your mom long forgotten the moment you heard your older brother's voice.

"Y/N!" Jay yelled, matching your enthusiasm as he crouched down and opened his arms wide.

"I missed you!" you told him as you squeezed him tightly.

"I missed you, too! Now, is Mom here?" he asked as he stood back up.

You grabbed his hand. "She's here. Did you know she's sick, Jay?"

You led him to the kitchen, where your mom was still sitting at the table.

Jay glanced over at the paper sitting in front of your mom. He swallowed as it all quickly became real for him.

His mom was dying and he was home. But, his older brother wasn't. Will was off partying while their mom was dying.

***

"No, chocolate's better than vanilla," you argued as you and Jay both walked the short walk home holding your ice cream cones.

"No, vanilla's better. You're just a weirdo. Now, how about you eat your ice cream before it melts and drips on you and you get all sticky?"

It was the first day of May and Jay had been home since February. Your mom's condition was rapidly deteriorating as the cancer spread throughout her body. You had noticed she had been more tired than usual and that your dad hadn't been as excited to watch you at soccer practice. He didn't even want to come with you and Jay when you went to the ice cream shop today. It was opening day for the season, and it was a Halstead tradition that the whole family go get ice cream together. And, Jay wasn't going to let his dad wreck that for you, so he took you.

Jay had finished his ice cream and you were at the bottom of your cone when you walked up the front porch steps.

"You're just going to give up, Amelia? You do know that's what this is right?"

Luckily for you, you were so focused on finishing your ice cream, that you didn't hear the yelling between your mom and dad right away. But, Jay did.

"Hey, Y/N?" you looked up from your cone at your older brother.  "How about you go grab your soccer ball from the garage and I'll get some water bottles and we can go to the park and practice for your game on Saturday, how does that sound?"

"So I can get better at stealing the ball from the other team?" you asked.

"Yup. Now, let's hurry up, okay?"

"Okay!"

As soon as your back was turned and you ran off to the garage in search of your soccer ball, Jay entered the house.

"Pat, that's not what this is and you know it!" Amelia argued, using what little strength she had after chemo to stand up.

"Then what is it?" Pat roared.

"I don't want Y/N to see me deteriorate!"

Jay rushed into his parents' bedroom. His mom was clutching the bedpost as if her life depended on it.

"Mom," he started, causing both his parents to focus their attention on him. "How about you sit down? You're tired."

"Jay, will you get me the phone please?" she asked, still standing.

"Amelia, you are not making that call!"

"It is my life! You are not taking this last big decision away from me!" Her voice softened. "Jay, sweetheart, the phone please."

"What's going on?"

"Your mom wanting to stay at the hospital is what's going on," Pat spat.

"Mom, no. You- you can't. Stay here. Please," he begged. He knew this was the last straw. Staying in the hospital likely meant she'd die there. She only had a limited time left. And, he wanted her to be here, at home with him. He had missed so much when he was away in Afghanistan. He just wanted more time of her staying home, of them being a normal family, despite her battling cancer with all her might.

"It'll be better for me there, Jay. They can give me painkillers and probably other things to help me feel better."

Jay hated it, but his mom was right. It probably was what was best for her.

"Okay, I'll get you the phone."

He walked into the kitchen to grab the phone and walked back to the bedroom to give it to his mom.

He reached out his hand to hand it to her, but it hit the floor with a thud.

"Dad! What the hell?" Jay yelled.

"You know what! She's staying here, Jayson!"

"Last I checked, it was mom's decision, not yours! And, she said she wants to go to the hospital! Respect that!"

"Like you and her respected what I had to say when you wanted to leave for the army? You didn't respect what I had to say then, so why should I respect what she's saying now?"

"Because she's your wife and she's dying!" Jay yelled. "You're stressing her out and stress is bad for her."

He picked up the phone and went to hand it to his mom. She took it.

Pat reached out his hand, but Jay stopped him. "You touch her or that phone, and I will lay you out where you stand. It's mom's decision."

"You'd really hit your old man?"

"Try me."

There was silence for a moment before Pat turned. "I'm going for a drive. I'll be back later."

"You didn't have to do that, you know," Amelia said to her son once Pat was out of the room.

"You did the same thing for me when I left to go to the army. You respected my decisions, so I'm respecting yours, Mom."

"When did you grow up so much?" A tear rolled down her cheek.

Jay sat down next to her. "Army will do that to you."

"Jay? You ready?" Jay heard you call for him.

"I'll be right there, Y/N!" he hollered back. Then, he turned back to his mom. "I was gonna take Y/N to the park, but I can stay here if you want me to?"

"No, go, Jay. You're a good brother. Promise me you'll watch over her when I'm gone?"

"Mom don't say--"

"Promise me. She needs you, both you and Will to look out for her. Who knows how your dad will get through all this. She needs her big brothers."

"I promise, Mom."

"Jay?" he heard you yell for him from outside.

"Be right there!" he yelled back.

After grabbing and filling up two water bottles, he walked outside to be met with your puzzled face. "What's wrong?"

"Why'd dad leave?" you asked, holding the soccer ball under your arm.

"Uh," Jay faltered. No way in hell was he going to be the one to explain this to you. Him leaving for the military, yeah, he could explain that one. But your guys' mom dying and telling you that she was going to the hospital because the end was near? Yeah, not gonna happen. He'd leave that to someone else...someone that was not him. "He's running a few errands," Jay answered.

"Oh, okay. Can Ben come to the park with us, too?" you asked.

Ben was your best friend and also your neighbor. Jay had dated his older sister before he left to fight the bad guys far away. Sometimes, when Jay had to babysit you, Allie would come over and bring Ben. And then, you'd get lots and lots of candy and get to watch movies for a bit. And, they'd promise you both Mcdonald's if neither you nor Ben said that Allie had come over. It always worked. You didn't know what the two teenagers were doing, but all you knew was that you got french fries and candy out of it, so both you and Ben had kept your mouths shut...despite it being against both your parents' rules to have a boyfriend or girlfriend over when they weren't home.

"You know what, I think that's a great idea," Jay answered. And then, you made your way to the Corson's and then to the park, thinking nothing of it.

***

Jay was sitting in the hospital room, clutching his mother's hand, just wondering how his life had turned out like this. Will was almost to the hospital; he'd gotten a last-minute flight from New York to Chicago, knowing that that would be faster than driving. Your dad was picking you up from school an hour early on a Friday. But right now, right now Jay was alone. And his mom, well she was still here, but he knew it wouldn't be for long. He knew that she was sleeping right now, and he wanted that for her because at least she wouldn't be awake to feel the pain of death, but at the same time, God, he wanted her to wake up. He wanted her to wake up so bad. He wanted to tell her that she was the best mom in the world. He wanted to tell her that he should never have had gone to Afghanistan, that maybe Dad was right, maybe he should've stayed in the States. Maybe he should've stayed in Chicago. He should've stayed home, just so that he could have had those three missed years with his mom. So that there could've been those extra two years before Will went to med school where the five of the Halsteads would be a real family. Because, in a matter of hours, hell in a matter of minutes, the Halsteads would dwindle down to a family of four forever. And, then, when Will left to go back to New York, it would dwindle down to three, at least for the time being.

Damn it. He just wanted more time. More time with his mom. He'd give anything for just a little more time.

"Jay! Jay! How is she?" Will burst into the quiet hospital room looking more worse for wear than normal. He had just gotten off an eighteen-hour shift of his med school rotation when he had gotten the call from his dad to get to Chicago as soon as possible. He found the first available flight--not caring about cost--and left, not even glancing at the clothes he threw in a duffle bag.

"Shhh!" Jay hissed at his older brother. "She's sleeping. And, shouldn't you know from your fancy schooling that as long as those monitors are still beeping, that she's still alive? Or did you just get too drunk and not even study and leave me to deal with dad and a very distraught and scared Y/N?"

"Man, you know I stopped doing that once I started working long shifts at the hospital!" Will whisper-yelled, trying to keep his voice down.

Jay sighed. "I'm sorry. We can deal with this later."

"You said Y/N's scared. What's she actually doing?"

Jay swallowed, trying to hold back the tears of what you'd been asking him those last two and a half weeks. "Um, every morning when she wakes up, she asks me if Mom went to heaven when she's sleeping. And then- And then before she leaves for school, she tells me to tell Mom she loves her if I go to see her."

Will rubbed a hand down his face. He didn't know what to say. He knew he should've been in Chicago for his little brother and sister, but he hadn't been. And, he couldn't change the past now. And, he knew he couldn't stay in Chicago after the funeral. It was no use telling Jay and you that he could stay; it'd just be an empty promise.

"William," Amelia's hoarse and groggy voice broke through the silence.

Will rushed to the opposite side of the bed to grab his mom's hand, the one that had the pulse-ox on it. "Mom, I'm here. I'm here."

"I need to- I need to tell..."

"Here, Mom." Will held the water cup with a straw in front of his mom. "Drink a bit. Please."

Amelia obliged and listened to her oldest son. After all, he was going to be a doctor one day. And, she hoped a damn good one at that.

"Thank you, baby," she said once she had taken a few sips. "My ring."

"What about your wedding ring, Mom?" Jay prompted.

"It's not a race...but whoever finds...the right girl first...gets it."

"Mom, don't say that," Will choked out. "You'll be okay. Everything will be fine."

Jay wanted to scoff. Leave it to Will to say that. He wasn't the one sitting in the hospital every damn day just watching their mom deteriorate and waiting for the inevitable.

"But, I'm supposed to wait until Sunday," you told your dad as you entered the hospital room, clutching the present you had made in art class for Mother's Day.

"I think it's close enough. And, it'll make Mom super happy," your dad answered you.

You nodded, the clay heart clutched in your hand. "Will!"

"Hey, kiddo."

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too. Now, what about this mother's day present? Why don't you come over here and give it to mom?" God, he didn't know how he did it, how he talked to his little sister like this was just a normal day and their mom wasn't minutes away from leaving them forever. He thought that his time working in a hospital and watching doctors and nurses deliver devastating news to families might have something to do with it, though.

"Mom." You stood on your tip-toes so that you could fully see her since her bed was tipped so that she was in a semi-sitting position.

"Yes...baby?" she asked, her voice no more than a whisper.

"I made this for you. I'm supposed to give it to you on Sunday since that's when Mother's Day is, but Dad said I can give it to you now." You passed the ceramic heart which was painted a shade of lavender and had I love you, Mom carved into it in your messy third-grader handwriting. "Do you like it?"

"I love...it, baby...I'll...cherish it...forever."

"I love you, Mommy." You hadn't called her Mommy in years. But, you knew it always made her happy when you called her that. Maybe, this would make her feel happy.

"Where's...Dad?" she asked weakly.

"He had to go to the bathroom," you answered.

"I love...you...my three...babies."

The sound of the monitor flatlining filled the room. Jay let out an agonizing scream, one unlike you had ever heard before.

"No," Will sobbed. You'd never seen him do that before. He always tried to be the big brother who didn't cry. Both your big brothers did.

Will wanted to start chest compressions, but he knew they'd be no use.

"Mommy," you whispered, shaking her shoulder. You knew it was no use, but maybe, just maybe she'd wake up. "Mommy, come back. Please."

"She's gone, Y/N," Jay said. "She's not coming back."

"Jay!" Will yelled.

"She needs to know that! Mom's gone, dammit!"

Jay slid down the wall, his anger, sadness, frustration, all of it, getting the best of him and he cried. Sobs racked his body.

He heard whispering near him and vaguely made out that Will was telling you that Jay didn't mean to sound so mean. And, then, he felt a pair of little arms wrap around him.

"Jay Jay," you whispered.

And that just made Jay cry harder.

Will came over and joined the hug, all three of you sobbing.

You heard a gasp and the sound of someone running into the room. Then, you heard a blood-curdling scream, the sound of a husband losing his wife way too soon.

The ceramic heart you had made for your mom fell to the floor, finally becoming too heavy to stay put in her lifeless hand now that there was no grip left. It shattered into sharp, lavender pieces, much like your real hearts. Despite still beating, they may as well stop, too. Because, just like how that ceramic heart would never be whole again, without your mom, your heart would never be whole again either.

***

Jay's age: 24

Your age: 10

It had been about a year since your mom had died. Day by day everything was getting easier. But, a part of you was missing, and you'd come to accept that it'd never be filled. Jay moved out right after your mom died and you'd see him sometimes. He worked different hours now since he was a police officer. But, even if you wanted to watch one more movie with him at his apartment, he wouldn't let you and he'd never let you spend the night. He'd always bring you back home to your dad.

You were in bed, Beary laying next to you since you had let go of him in your sleep, when you were woken up by the sound of sirens.

You located Beary from beside you and walked out into the hallway. The light was on as you still didn't like it when you woke up to go to the bathroom and it was dark. So, you walked to your dad's bedroom and pushed to door open.

"Dad," you whispered as you placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Hmmm?" he asked, opening his eyes. "What's wrong, honey?"

Since your mom died, you and your dad had grown a lot closer. You'd always watch hockey games with him and he'd come to every single one of your soccer games and take you out for a snack after. He always made sure he was home from work before it got too late so that he could help you with your homework and make sure you weren't scared of a thunderstorm at night. He was the dad that Will and Jay never had. He just hated that it took the death of his wife for him to become a better father.

"Why- Why are there police officers at Ben's house?"

"Police officers? At the Corsons?" your dad asked.

"Yeah, from my window I saw the flashing lights. What's going on?"

"Just give me a minute and we'll go see if they need anything, okay?" he asked, not knowing there was crime scene tape everywhere.

Once your dad was ready, you walked outside, holding tight to his hand and to Beary.

"Uh, yeah, tender-age male. From the looks of it raped and possible cause of death being asphyxiation."

You had no idea what anything he was saying meant, but you knew that Jay was the one who was talking. He was here! Maybe he'd know what was going on! And, maybe he'd know where Ben was, because, from the people around, you hadn't spotted Ben yet.

"Jay!" You let go of your dad's hand and ran towards him, ducking under the bright yellow crime scene tape.

"Shit," he muttered as he ran towards you, trying to block your best friend's body from your view.

But, he was too late.

"B-Ben?"

Jay grabbed you and pulled you close to him so that his body was blocking you from seeing the body any more than you already had. But, he knew that it was no use; the image of your best friend laying in the grass with a rope tied around his neck and duck tape on his mouth and wrists, pants on backward and shirt haphazardly threw on, would forever be etched in your mind.

"Ben!" you wailed.

"I'm gonna take her back to the house. You got it from here and I'll meet you back at the station?" you heard Jay say to who you assumed was his partner.

"Yeah, who is she?"

"My little sister. Kid was her best friend."

"Take as much time as you need, Halstead. I'll tell the sergeant that you might not be back tonight."

"Thank you."

Your dad stayed with Danny and Gail, while Jay brought you home.

"Do you want some water?" Jay asked quietly as you entered the house.

You shook your head. "What happened?"

"Maybe when you're older I can explain, okay?"

"So, he's with Mom now?" you asked, looking into his teary eyes.

"Yeah, he's with Mom now. She'll look after him." He pulled you into a hug. "I love you, kid. You're my favorite sister."

"I'm your only sister, Jay."

"That's why you're my favorite."

Jay took a deep breath as he held you tight. That could've easily been you laying on the ground instead of Ben.

After that night, any day that Jay didn't have to work in the mornings, he'd walk you to school. He did that for the rest of the year. He never told you why; he'd only say that he wanted to spend time with his little sister and sometimes he'd even bring you a donut. But, you knew it had something to do with Ben...and the fact that the person who hurt him had never been found.

You weren't supposed to know that information, but you figured it would've been on the news if they found the person who did it. After all, the case was on the news when it first happened.

Little did you and Jay know, that it would be three years until justice would be served and that Jay would almost lose his badge over it.

A/N: Hey, sorry this took me so long to post! It took me a while to write since most of the scenes were sad. Anyway, as I mentioned at the beginning, this will be a series, so look for the next installment! Those will be better because the age will be when Y/N's a teenager...and I write those a lot better than I do when I have to write times when Y/N is a kid.

Thanks for reading and please feel free to comment! It gives me so much motivation to continue writing!

[rxckables]

Do you have any favorite #jays #content or thoughts to share? :)

boy do i have thoughts, they’re literally all i think about!!!!

so w/o further ado...

i like to the imagine that they start hanging out when jayson asks jaylen for lessons in chess. mostly bc jaylen asked him to play one time and he said he didn’t know how so he wanted to learn for jaylen. so now every saturday jayson goes over to jaylen’s and he learns chess and learns to like jaylen’s fancy tea that he’s forced to drink. & maybe like 6 months later bc jayson is a love sick idiot he gets them matching mugs and jaylen an expensive kettle w/ a 7 engraved in it.

also, maybe jaylen can like draw really well and is obsessed with jayson’s leg tattoos so he like draws jayson super cool tattoo ideas and almost cries when jayson gets one of his designs tatted bc like! wow! this is gonna be on your body permanently! and jayson says it’s not a big deal but it totally is.

& maybe they like don’t really outwardly express to their close friends (or each other) that they’re boyfriends even though they totally are. there’s just something too real about saying the word “boyfriend”.

and maybe they have like a really big fight one day but they still have to go to practice but jaylen is still pissed so he like doesn’t pass to jayson and jayson dunks way too hard over jaylen and marcus yells at them for being stupid. so then like at home they don’t really talk about it but make an informal truce by quietly preparing tea together and watching bob’s burgers.

i also love to think about them getting married!

let’s set the scene...

boston some how makes it to the finals.

so like the night before game 7 when jayson thinks jaylen is sleep he quietly asks “will you marry me” bc he knows that he cannot breathe w/o jaylen and even though they might not win a championship ring he wants to give jaylen a ring!

so jaylen just pretends he’s sleep until he hears jayson sleeping and quietly says “yes” !!

so they end up winning the championship ring and after all the parties and stuff one night in the off season jaylen sets up a really cool proposal and tells jayson that he heard him on the night before game 7!

jayson cries!

& then they have a cute little ceremony and use their championship rings as wedding rings mostly so they can wear their rings in public w/o attention from the media.

& they’re so in love !

and maybe one of jaylen’s old bf’s from highschool chess club hears about the wedding from jaylen’s mom and he sends them a chess set that’s engraved w/ “the tatum-browns”

[of-wrens-and-whirlwinds-blog]

Hike

Commission for the grand @auspiciousagape !!! So sorry this took so long, love! I hope you like it!

Commission info is in my about page!

~

Jayson adjusted the basket slung over his shoulder restlessly. Why had he agreed to this again?

Because Marcus hadn’t been allowed to visit in a few weeks and Jayson really wanted to see him. To feel that two-tone warmth when they stood close together.

Jayson rubbed the back of his neck and bit his lip. He really had to get these feelings under control.  What if he let them slip while they were out? No, they would not slip out. He would not let them.

“Nervous?” Rosalia asked slyly, making Jayson jump. She moved to stand beside him and grinned as he glared at her. “Oh, don’t act so annoyed. He’ll be here.”

“I know he will,” Jayson replied, still scowling a little. “He always is.”

Rosalia shot him another sly look, but said nothing.

Soon after that, Jayson’s ears pricked as he caught the sound of boots thumping up the drive. He looked and grinned, heart lifting, when he saw Marcus running towards them. Rosalia patted Jayson’s arm and said sweetly, “I need to get back to work. Have fun, Jayson.”

“Uh-huh,” he said absently. “Thanks, Rosa.”

She snickered and went back inside of the House.

Jayson took three steps forward and then Marcus slammed into him, hugging tightly. Jayson laughed and hugged back, basking in the warmth that shivered through his empathy whenever Marcus was near. “You’re not late, no need to run,” Jayson told him, still grinning.

“I wanted to be early,” Marcus replied, muffled in Jayson’s shoulder, before releasing Jayson from his fierce embrace. He grinned too, and Jayson almost told him that he looked adorable with his hair all mussed and his eyes bright and his cheeks flushed. “The Seneschal was being dramatic again, though, so I had to run.”

Jayson shook his head and tweaked Marcus’s nose. “You’re not stern enough,” he teased. “Practice a foreboding frown and a tone of disapproval.”

Marcus rolled his eyes, but he was smiling still. “Whatever. When are we going?”

“Right now, if you want,” Jayson replied, picking up the second basket and holding it out to Marcus. “It won’t take long to get there, but we have a lot of work to do.”

~

Normally, Jayson would have asked one of the other Healers to come with him. Kurreb was always easier with a companion, and it helped build connection. But all of his friends and the other Healers were doing other things, and so Rosalia had decided to pester Jayson into asking Marcus to come.

The joke was on her, Jayson thought grimly, as he and Marcus approached Mirus Forest. Nothing would make him confess to Marcus. Nothing short of truth serum, and that was illegal, anyway. And so, they were safe.

That is, they were until Jayson made the mistake of looking at Marcus when they entered the cool shade of Mirus and the fairy-lamp mushrooms lit up in alarm. Marcus gasped, his face lighting up, ears pricked, tail high. “They’re beautiful,” he whispered.

Jayson swallowed hard as warmth built in his chest. “Yes,” he replied, his gaze on Marcus’s face, “They are.”

The first ten minutes were spent showing Marcus the herbs and plants that needed to be picked in large quantities, and also the copycats that should be avoided completely. Then they set off down the path that had not been used recently, and started gathering.

Most herbs had been tamed into patches along the myriad paths, as were bushes, vines, mosses, flowers, and slender trees whose leaves were a very effective headache cure when made into tea, though they tasted horrible. But there were some that were too delicate to move into easier reach, and these were the ones Jayson looked out for. He knew roughly where they all were, he’d been on Kurreb plenty of times; but plants, being what they are, don’t follow people rules. The patches shifted, or shrunk, or grew, or split up. Jayson left the path often to try and find the shy little herbs he needed.

Marcus filled a third of his basket quickly, tying each bundle together neatly with string and stacking them in a grid pattern. He also hummed, or imitated birds, and Jayson had to smile. Marcus’s eyes were wide, his expression delighted and awed as he took in the wonders of Mirus; flowers that shifted through the rainbow every time their petals were ruffled, ponds of strange colors with vibrant algae and cranky blue frogs, stones that vibrated gently and gave off heat. Every time he heard an interesting bird call, he did his best to replicate it. He looked so happy, in his jeans and t-shirt, with dirt and sap all over his hands and knees.

Jayson wanted to help him stay happy. He wanted Marcus to never lose this day of beauty and freedom. Brown-toned love shivered through him.

When they reached the river that flowed through the forest, around the middle of the morning, Jayson kicked off his shoes, rolled up his pant legs, and told Marcus, “The water here isn’t magic, really, but it is nice on the feet after walking. Come on!”

Marcus immediately took off his own shoes and socks and rolled up his pants, and they both leapt into the river, yelping at the cold. Fish scattered and a grumpy turtle swam to the other shore.

Jayson sat on a large rock near the bank and hummed happily, closing his eyes and tilting his head up to feel the sunshine on his face. Was there anything more peaceful than sitting in the sun by flowing water? Well, other than stargazing in the hammock with Marcus.

That sunshine-yellow love touched his empathy, and then the brown love, the color of perfectly-brewed honey cough syrup, rose too. He smiled and opened his eyes, and when he looked at Marcus again, his friend was bent over, peering intently at the rocks in the riverbed. He was blushing faintly.

“Hey, what are those little crab things?” Marcus asked, pointing.

“Crab things?” Jayson stood, walked over, and also bent to look. “Oh! Those are hermit--AUGH!”

Marcus laughed far too gleefully as Jayson fell into the water and came up spluttering. “You are way too easy to trick!” Marcus exclaimed, grinning as Jayson growled and rubbed water out of his eyes. “It’s been years and you still fall for ‘what’s this’!”

Jayson reached up, grabbed Marcus’s shirt hem, and yanked hard.

Marcus shrieked as he plunged into the water with Jayson, but when he sat up he still laughed. Jayson had to smile back, and slicked the water out of Marcus’s silky hair.

“You’re an ass,” Jayson chuckled, then stood and helped Marcus up. “Alright, we’re both soaked. Let’s get back to work.”

Marcus sighed dramatically but followed him out of the river.

Their dunkings seemed to wash away any leftover quietness. Marcus complained about the courtiers and the military between bird calls; Jayson grumbled about the newest trainees, a pair of twelve-year-old twins who thought they knew more than the master Healers because their parents were the court Healers in another country. Marcus taught Jayson to whistle like a robin; Jayson taught Marcus how to properly ask the fireberry vines for a harvest. They ate the spicy delicacies as they walked.

At noon, they sat beneath a huge oak tree covered in sweetheart ivy, and ate the sandwiches Jayson had brought.

“I just don’t understand,” Marcus muttered, nibbling a piece of ham. “My uncle says that we need to strengthen the army, but it’s already as strong as we need. He acts like we’re going to war at any minute. The delegates and ambassadors are nervous around him, now, and he doesn’t seem to notice.”

Jayson shrugged as he swallowed a bite of sandwich. “Maybe he wants attention,” he offered. “I’ve known a few people like that.”

Marcus snorted, but sighed and leaned on Jayson lightly. Jayson’s heart turned over. “Maybe. Jay?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I come with you next time you do this?”

Jayson smiled and resisted the urge to kiss Marcus’s ear. “Yes, of course.”

~

Late afternoon sun was slanting through the trees, touching everything with gold and yellow. The forest was alive with birds, squirrels, ground mammals, chiming bluebells--and the laughter of two teenagers in the river.

“No, no, that isn’t a waltz!” Marcus cried, apparently unable to stop giggling, as Jayson deliberately messed up the figures. “You’re doing that on purpose!”

“Not at all, sire,” Jayson replied primly, trying to ignore the shivers of excitement in his chest from the touch of Marcus’s hands and the closeness of him, as Marcus attempted to teach Jayson to dance. “I am simply following my heart. Hup!” He lifted Marcus by the waist and spun them both around, cackling as Marcus whooped and water flew off of them both in a glittering whirl.

They had finished harvesting earlier than Jayson had expected, and were now just being silly and wasting time because they didn’t want to go home. It was nice. Jayson didn’t feel like he had to be a miniature adult out here, with just Marcus and time slow and sweet as honey. He felt more like himself.

Marcus buried his face in Jayson’s shoulder when he was set down and continued giggling for a few moments. Jayson stood still, his hands still on Marcus’s waist, breathing a little harder with exertion, and had the thought that, if he put his hand under Marcus’s chin and tipped his face upwards, he was at just the right distance for a kiss. He was not ashamed or alarmed by that thought; he simply held it, and wondered idly what Marcus would taste like. Sweet water from the river; the mint that Jayson had found that they had both promptly rolled in; the fireberries from earlier. He smiled to himself, thinking of how nice it would feel to kiss Marcus.

Marcus had stopped giggling, and was now just standing quietly, pressed against Jayson. The water rushing around their legs felt just as good as the sun on their necks and arms and faces. Jayson’s empathy picked up several emotions that he sensed were coming from Marcus: pink contentment, silver happiness, blue calm. It was lovely to just exist, in a place where no one would judge, hurt, or accuse them. 

Jayson closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Marcus still smelled like warm earth and honey.

“Should we head back?” Marcus asked, very softly.

“We don’t have to,” Jayson murmured. “We can stay for a little longer.”

Marcus sighed and slid his arms around Jayson’s neck. “That would be nice,” he said.

[surveystodestressme]

238.

Who was the last person you held hands with? my boyfriend

Are you outgoing or shy? shy

Are you easy to get along with? i think so

If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? yes

What kind of people are you attracted to? cute and funny and kind people

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? nah

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? one of the doctors i work with

What does the most recent text that you sent say? it was a list of items to put in a first aid kit for when my boyfriend and i go camping

Do you like it when people play with your hair? love it!!!!

Do you believe in luck and miracles? ehhhh

What good thing happened this summer? i don't know a lot of good things happened

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? yes

Do you think there is life on other planets? absolutely

Do you still talk to your first crush? nah

Do you like bubble baths? yes

Do you like your neighbors? don't really talk to them

What are your bad habits? i bite on my nails, i pick at the skin on my lips, etc.

Where would you like to travel? ireland

Do you have trust issues? absolutely

Favorite part of your daily routine? going to bed at night

What do you do when you wake up? put my glasses on

Who are you most comfortable around? my sister and mother

Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? yes

Do you ever want to get married? nah

Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? yes

Do you play sports? What sports? i rock climb if that counts

Would you rather live without TV or music? music

Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yeah

What are your favorite stores to shop in? there's too many lol

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? not everyone

Do you smile at strangers? yeah

Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? outer space for sure!!

Have you ever been high? drunk? both yes

What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? black

Ever wished you were someone else? nah

One thing you wish you could change about yourself? plenty

Favourite store? shein

Favourite colour? blue

Favourite food? sushi

Last thing you ate? tuna n noodles

Ever been in love? yep

Tell us the story of your first kiss? my first real kiss was with a guy named jacob back when i was 14??? i think. we went to the movies and saw the remake of the exorcist and he kissed me outside after the movie was over

Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? i don't have very many tumblr friends but i like them both the same

Names of your bestfriends? claire, jayson, mariann, nikki

Craving something? What? sushi always, and mountain dew lol

What colour are your towels? all kinds of colors

How many pillows do you sleep with? there's 2 on my side of the bed but i rarely use them

Do you sleep with stuffed animals? nope

Favourite animal? cats

What colour is your underwear? black

Chocolate or Vanilla? if we're talking ice cream; chocolate, if we're talking just flavorwise; vanilla

Favourite ice cream flavour? i don't really like just plain ice cream besides chocolate but i really like sherbet

What colour shirt are you wearing? gray

Favourite tv show? doctor who

Favourite movie? saw

Favourite character from Finding Nemo? probably crush

First person you talked to today? my boyfriend

Last person you talked to today? my boyfriend

Name a person you love. my mother

How many sweatpants do you have? i only own two pairs

How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? a lot

Last movie you watched? i don't even remember

Have any pets? 2

Do you type fast? yes

Ever been to a bonfire party? yep

Is something irritating you right now? nah

Who was the last person you cried in front of? prob my boyfriend

Do you play the Wii? not recently

Do you like chicken noodle soup? yes

Do you like Chinese food? yes

Do you believe in true love? yeah

What makes you happy? animals, random acts of kindess

What your zodiac sign? aries

Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? open

How tall are you? 4'11"

Summer or Winter? summer

Night or Day? night

Favourite month? october

Tea or Coffee? coffee

Was today a good day? yeah

[justjessame]

Dr. Tali Sullivan Chapter 32

Our new routine, now that I was home and being watched for ANY sign that our baby was about to make his grand debut, was pretty damn amazing. Harvey never really took vacation time before we met, and he had stockpiles of it along with his own parental leave, so he and I revelled in our time together with Abigail. Aside from the papers that my students sent that needed to be graded, and the reports he had to file, most of our days were spent sitting together, inside or on the porch, while Abi explored under our careful watch.

Letters and gifts kept coming from John, and Mary I suspected, and each one was tucked carefully away for Abi to deal with when the time came. Her big brothers checked in almost daily, and listening to them try to carry on full conversations with her and hold her attention for longer and longer became one of my favorite parts of the day.

Harvey would let them know any updates on me and our impending arrival, then I would get to say goodbye and promise that we’d let them know when the baby came. Castiel was on standby, fearful that he wouldn’t be called to stand with us when I gave birth for a second time. And Rowena and Crowley were on pins and needles as well. Only my parents were taking it in stride.

“There’s no point in worrying,” Mom reminded Harvey as he was going over his checklist for the mad dash to the hospital when the time came. “You’ll be fine. Just don’t forget the most important part.”

Harvey nodded and replied with, “having a fully gassed up car and her go bag.”

Mom and I shared a look, trying not to laugh. “Or,” she offered, getting him to look up from his list, “maybe, Tali?”

He blanched, realizing that I wasn’t on the list, apparently. “It’s kind of hard to give birth without the actual mother around, babe.” And that did it, Mom and I laughed long and hard as my dad commiserated with my baby-daddy.

 It happened so close to the due date my doctor had first given us, that Harvey joked he should have given odds and won some money. He argued with me about taking the time to drop off Abi at my parents, fearful that I’d pop in the car, but gave in when I reminded him that it had taken hours for her to come out. Then off to the hospital, legs in stirrups, and my extended family surrounding us in the family delivery room I insisted on.

Cas held one of my hands, while Harvey had the other, and Rowena had taken her former spot at my head. Crowley, watched from the corner by my bed, and together they kept me from freaking out and giving in to the pain. Of course, that could just have been Cas and Rowena’s special help, but soon the sounds of our son’s cries were echoing through the small room. Harvey’s eyes were flush with tears as he went with the nurse to cut the cord, and Rowena was kissing my temple and telling me how good I’d done. Cas and Crowley were beaming as an angel and demon only could, having added to their roles as ‘uncles’ once more.

“Have you chosen a name?” Crowley asked, coming closer once I’d been cleaned up a bit and our little boy was cradled in my arms.

I smirked up at Harvey and saw how wide his smile had grown. “Caelum Jayson Russell,” Harvey offered, kissing the red hair that crowned the tiny head of our son.

“Caelum?” Cas’ eyes grew wide. “You’re naming him after the heavens?”

“I’ve lived through hell, Cas, only to find heaven.” I whispered, drinking in the tiny form snuggled against me. “It seemed perfect.”

“Aye,” Rowena said, her hand cupping Caelum’s head. “It is.”

  My parents came soon after, Abi in Dad’s arms and looking fit to burst with excitement. Caelum had been fed, dressed, and was wearing the tiny hat and mitts on his hands so he wouldn’t scratch himself. I watched with a smile as our daughter stared at her baby brother with the wonder only a two year old could possess.

Harvey propped her up in the soft chair near my bed, adding a pillow to her lap, and helped her hold her little brother for the first time. I watched as he knelt in front of our children, whispering to Abi about how good she was doing as a big sister, and how much Caelum loved her. She was whispering back to her daddy, mimicking his voice so the baby wouldn’t fuss, and then I felt like my heart would explode when she leaned forward and kissed his soft head.

“They’re beautiful,” Mom offered, watching my tiny family bonding nearby. She’d taken out a camera and was capturing the moment, and I realized that Dad had his phone out recording it.

 We were all home a day later. The fridge stocked with enough reheatable food so we didn’t have to worry about meals, and enough drinks and snacks on hand to make unnecessary errands avoidable. Flowers, multiple vases of flowers greeted me when we walked inside, and Harvey shrugged as my parents greeted us with Abi hot on their heels.

“It looks like a funeral home in here,” I whispered, and shut my eyes at the darkness of that joke. “Sorry. Lots of flowers.” Lame, Tali, so very lame.

Mom shook her head and helped get me settled in my regular seat on the sofa as Harvey came behind carrying Caelum. “Yes, well, everyone seemed to want to greet you with blooming flowers.” She picked up a stack of the tiny cards that must have come with the bouquets, along with larger cards and handed them to me. “I wrote which arrangement came from whom on the back of the cards.” Then she went toward the kitchen, telling us that she was making lunch.

Harvey grinned at me as I took in the pile. “Let’s see who loves you so much, sweetheart.”

I had one from Dean, one from Sam, Crowley, Cas, and Rowena all sent an arrangement each, although Ro’s was lavender and chamomile to help keep us calm and serene with our new bundle. John and Mary had sent a card, which I dutifully handed to Harvey to share. I had one from my parents, one from the college, a few from the businesses I’d become a frequent face in. Abi’s daycare had sent us a card, as had Harvey’s boss and some of his coworkers. The amount of well wishes was something new for me, since Abi’s birth had been so secretive. Yet, even John and Mary’s made me feel warmth.

Abi came back in and crawled onto the couch with us, smiling as I pulled her onto my lap. “I missed you, princess,” I offered, kissing her forehead. “Are you happy that we’re home?”

She giggled as her daddy tweaked her tiny nose and she gently reached out and touched her little brother’s bright hair. “No more?”

I was confused, but Harvey just chuckled. “No more what, Abi?”

“Babies,” she answered, staring up at me so solemnly that I had to fight my own laugh from coming out. “Just us?”

Biting my lip and feeling Harvey’s own mirth vibrate against my side, I nodded. “Yes, Abi, just us. No more babies,” I shook my head and smiled as Harvey’s mouth touched my neck.

“Just practice from here on out,” he murmured against my skin as I felt the curve of his smile.

[pierrelucdisaster]

tagged by @skilliandempsey

Name: Elle

Favorite Musicians/Bands: ummm... current bands: Code Orange, The Number 12 looks like you, Between the Buried and Me, King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard. also, Citizen, Turnover, and Royal Coda. Older bands: Ratt, Yes, Pink Floyd, Queen, and Elton John is forever my favorite.

Favorite Sports Teams:

- NHL: LA Kings, like through it all, I still really love them. I also like the Flyers, Bruins, and Avs. A small helping of the Stars and CBJ as well.

- AHL: Ontario Reign. (my boys, my babies, I love them)

- MLB: SF Giants, I still stick with them bc everything I’ve worked for and gained in my career started with my love of baseball and this team. Also, we’re gonna be in last place when the season eventually starts but they signed all my favorite hot (but useless) pitchers so... Also, a small helping of the Angels and Cardinals.

- NBA: Celtics. Like Jayson Tatum and Kemba Walker are just so incredible to watch play. I cried when we got Gordon Hayward and then Kemba bc I watched them early in their careers and college and it’s just wow, we have them.

unfortunately, I have yet to pick an NWHL team so I might go with them all. lol. that’s definitely my goal for next season is to pick one. If I have no problem stanning 10 teams in various sports why can’t I pick an NWHL team?? I don’t have an NFL team, I don’t care about football enough to pick one.

Other Blog(s): @mysonkakyoin is my anime blog.

Do I Get Asks: no.

How Many Blogs Do I Follow: 80? I always like to manage my follows bc I get overwhelmed easily lol

What Am I Wearing: black jeans, a turtle neck, a windbreaker

Dream Vacation: I go to Germany, I talk with the locals, they understand me and my accent, I never come back.

Dream Car: I have no idea. Maybe like a classic car, don’t know which one though.

Favorite Food: p a s t a f o r e v e r

Drink of Choice: hibiscus or tamarind drink. 

Languages: English, Spanish, and German.

Random Fact:  I got into Tarot cards and readings from anime. I have a great love for Tarot and meanings behind cards. Haven’t seen anything actually come true or manifest, but I guess I enjoy interpretations and the art more than anything.

[eurythmicx]

                 ＊𝓌𝑒𝓁𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎 𝒹𝓎𝓈𝒻𝓊𝓃𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝒻𝒶𝓂𝒾𝓁𝓎;＊

*・゜・*:.。.*.。.:*・☆・゜・*:.。.*.。.:*・☆・゜・*:.。.*.。.:*・☆・゜・

♚ - SIMON. ( carly simon - you’re so vain. ) a playful pup approaching a two-year mark.

♖ - MORRISON.  ( the doors - l.a woman. ) ( brother. ) 17. student. loaded angst. guitar. cries only when the music is up so you can’t hear. loves pear jelly beans. nirvana. likes to be broody.

♞ -  JAYSON. 49. father. had the idea to name all children after iconic songs/musicians. music aficionado. head chef at his restaurant. rubs his temples too often. thinks his home office is a rock n’ roll hall of fame. likes old cars. puts his kids first, and his dreams tucked elsewhere. 

♜  - SARA. ( fleetwood mac - sara. ) ( sister. ) 31. wears too much white. loves modern art. always pulls out of relationships when they get too comfortable. was once engaged. a fan of chopped while drinking white wine. burns in the sun easily. allergic to strawberries. graphic designer. candle melts. philosophical books. 

🐝 - LENNON. ( the beatles - come together. ) 22. me. hi. enough said. everyone says john lennon ( dad. )  but sometimes i think my mom agreed to my name because of annie lennox from the eurythmics. 

♟ - ODETTE. 49. mother. the glue. owner of partnered restaurant. fan of gardening. loves disco. messy buns and hoop earrings. family ski trips. dislikes being catty with other moms. dislikes most moms period. enjoys martinis. secretly smokes even though she knows her children know. sarcastic. witty. loves yellow but hates wearing it. keeps everything her children make. 

♢ - BILLIE. ( billie holiday - ill be seein’ you. ) 24. ( sister. ) over college. dropped out. thought it was a waste. works at a record store. came out to lennon and the two have a ‘the family’s gays’ bond. likes nights on rooftops. stargazing. jones soda. bruised knees. suckers. journals. leaf collecting. dad hats. glitter eye shadow. 

✭ - SHILOH. ( neil diamond - shiloh ) ripped jean jackets, dr martens boots collection, cigarettes, oversized white tees. versatile & courageous.  indiscipline & confrontational. co-owner of Cherry on Top. 

😾 - CRIMSON. ( joan jett - crimson & clover. ) 5. mischievous. dreams of butterflies. 

[geminicblue]

20 Galaxies: Legend in the Sky Chapter 11

Jayson squinted up at the softly fluttering leaves. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Ru look around wildly. The voice from above had a metallic edge to it, but it was definitely a human voice, another kid, at that. Ru probably forgot that there were a number of voice-altering toys available for cheap in the tourist trap. What made him jump was that the voice next came from behind Randy. It originally had come from above, and he'd heard no one climb or jump down from the trees.

"Boo."

Randy sprang high enough in the air to get caught on a branch. Ru whirled, then wilted in relief. Misty Elesti stood there, her arms crossed and an amused smile just visible in the fading light. "You," Randy snarled.

Misty returned his glare levelly. While Jayson couldn't help but grin, Misty made him uneasy. She had floored his best friend and the toughest kid in school with a single punch, and showed no nervousness in teasing him. Then again, a lot of people didn't take Randy seriously until he knocked a few of their teeth loose, but Misty was different, somehow. She carried herself like an adult, someone in charge of the rest of them without a thought, immune to the little rules that dictated his own life.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked. "I doubt Breckenridge let you just leave. Where's your uniform?"

Misty snorted and smoothed the maroon T-shirt she wore. She had one of her Carmody pendants, a silver cloud that gleamed at the slightest touch of light. It was incongruous with her faded, worn jeans and sneakers. "I don't care."

Randy took a deliberate, menacing step towards her. Ru edged closer. "Back off, short stack."

"Who you calling short stack, birdbrain? Ruster?"

Ru ignored him. "You can get kicked out for leaving without permission," she told Misty.

Misty gave an angry laugh. "Good!"

"Whoa!" Randy cried. "Did you guys see that?"

He stared west, deeper into the woods. The trees were little more than a tangle of black lines in the deepening twilight. Jayson tensed, straining his eyes. The others were silent, leaving only the wind to whistle through the trees and rustle the leaves.

Something flickered. It was filtered heavily by the branches, and dim. It wasn't a flashlight, that was all Jayson knew for certain. He gave a shudder as the breeze seemed to turn cold.

Randy was already heading towards the light. He signaled for the rest to follow. Jayson frowned after him. "Your mom's going to kill you. Seriously, it was probably just a camera." He hoped it was just a camera.

"Chicken?" Randy said. "Figures, your sister's a Ruster."

"Shut up," Ru hissed. "What's wrong?"

She had a hand on Misty's shoulder. Misty's face had gone shockingly pale. Jayson thought she might faint. Her voice was wispy. "We need to go back. What if there's something dangerous out there? The four of us can't take on an adult. Or a bear."

"Says who?" Randy said impatiently. "The Quarterstone's that way. If you're scared, go back."

With that, he disappeared into the trees. Misty gaped, her mouth working, then she turned and went towards the garden. The image of strength and confidence that normally backed her was completely gone.

Ru looked between Misty and Randy, her eyes wide, with a strange reflection in them. They had always been a very vivid shade of sky blue, but in the fading light they practically glowed. Finally, she said, "I got a really bad feeling about this. Neither one of them should be alone, and I don't think any of us should be here. You get Randy and I'll get Misty."

Jayson nodded without hesitation. "I'll meet you guys at the Cardinal Street lot."

He found Randy crouched behind a dead bush, unusually still and silent. Jayson crept up to him and followed his gaze to the other side of a small clearing, full of old stumps. A man sat on the ground with his legs crossed. He had pale hair in a style Jayson had never seen before, partly swept over half his thin, angular face, partly gathered in a short, flaring tail at the back of his neck, and blue, of all colors. A silvery blue, or so it looked in the failing light. The man wore a long black overcoat that pooled around him on the ground, the rusty trim of it an uncrumpled, broken ring. "It's just some guy," Randy whispered.

There was an open textbook in the man's hands. Jayson spotted a stack of books nearby on the ground. "He shouldn't read in the dark."

The man was looking at them. He was so still Jayson could barely tell he'd moved at all. His one visible eye stood out, pale as his hair. Jayson felt as if the entire world was focusing solely on him, eyeing him like hawk would eye a rabbit. Randy, of course, did not pick up on this. He stepped out from behind the bush. Before he'd taken his second step, the man was halfway across the clearing. There was a silver flickering in his hands and a metallic scrape.

Jayson gasped and scrambled backwards. Randy's nose was inches from the blade of a sword. "Whoa, whoa, wait!" he screamed, backing away, but the blade had already stopped.

Confusion did little to take the hardness out of the man's expression. His voice was deep, clear, and direct, the words oddly accented. "You are too young to be here at this time of day. Go home."

Jayson turned immediately, but Randy piped up. "Hey! You can't boss me around. You're not my mom."

Clenching his teeth, Jayson was about to point out the poor decision of arguing with a swordsman while unarmed, when a strange vibration went through the air. The words died in his throat as every hair on his body lifted. He glanced at Randy, who had become a human thistle.

"I said leave!"

There was a blinding white flash, a booming crackle, a harsh, sustained buzz. Jayson rubbed furiously at his eyes, at the same time backing away from an intense, wavering heat that had suddenly filled the air. When he could finally see, his mind made little sense of what was in front of him.

The man was bent down like a sprinter at the starting block. His overcoat tossed about him in rolling waves. He was clear now, due to the light that seemed to be radiating from his hand. No, not light -- lightning. Thin bolts of electricity shimmered through the air, twining around his outstretched fingers.

The two boys tore back through the forest, screaming at the top of their lungs. Jayson forced his way through tight space, not caring if his jacket tore on the branches. They spilled out of the woods and kept running, not even slowing when they sighted Ru and Misty. Randy reached the picnic table they were sitting at and half collapsed on it, wheezing for breath. Jayson sat heavily on the grass nearby. He spared a glance at the woods. No one seemed to be following them.

Ru jumped up. "What happened? What's wrong?"

Instead of answering her, Randy hollered at Jayson. "OK, if all the legends are fake, what was that?"

Jayson coughed and wiped sweat from under the brim of his hat. "There had to be a broken power line."

"What power lines? There aren't any past the Quarterstone. They're not allowed!"

"A storm," Jayson tried.

"The sky's clear!" Randy's finger trained on some violet cirrus clouds twirling off towards the horizon. "Except for that. Yep. Real stormy-looking."

"What are you talking about?" Ru asked eagerly.

"There was some guy with lightning coming out of his hands!" Randy's voice was shrill.

"That's not what happened," Jayson snapped.

"That's exactly what happened!"

"He could have had a Tesla coil or something! He did not just have lightning coming out of his hands. Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?"

"Then why did you run, tough guy?"

"Because the guy had a sword and I wasn't going to argue with him!"

"A sword?" Ru said, her expression incredulous. "Like the ones they sell at that import store on Main Street? I don't know what you guys saw, but it isn't supposed to storm for another couple weeks."

"Well I ain't going back to find out," Randy said. "Dude was like --"

"Wait, wait," Misty cut in.

Jayson hardly noticed she was there. She'd had her head down on the table before. "How do you know it won't storm for a couple weeks?"

"I know," Ru replied.

"The weather reports don't even go that far," Misty pointed out. "Besides, it's supposed to storm on Thursday."

Why was Misty questioning Ru about the weather of all things, when they had just come out of the woods claiming to have seen someone holding lightning? Ru gazed at the sky down Cardinal Street. "The system that's supposed to bring the storms will be pushed south. It'll be sunny and cold here."

"But how do you know?"

Ru shrugged. "It's pretty obvious when you look at the weather maps."

"She's usually right," Randy said. "She never misses the weather reports 'cause she's got a crush on the weatherman."

"Shut up! I do not!"

"Um, shouldn't we call the police?" Jayson eyed the woods. There was still no more movement from the trees, but he was ready to take off the instant he saw something. "I don't know what that really was, but the guy still had a sword, and I'm pretty sure he was going to attack us if we didn't leave. It's not his property."

"No," Misty and Randy said in unison.

They exchanged glances. Jayson thought he was looking at twin siblings. "Mom's going to flip as it is," Randy admitted. "It's almost dark. She doesn't need to know I was out here too."

"They'll send me back to Breckenridge," Misty said sullenly.

"You'd better sneak back in while you can," Randy said with a malicious grin. "They said on the tour they chain runaways in the basement and feed them mice."

Misty's voice rose with every word. "If that was even remotely true, why would they tell a tour group?"

Jayson urged them along the road. There had to be a rational explanation for what he'd seen, but a man with a sword and a temper was by no means unbelievable. A rational explanation did not mean they were safe.

First Chapter || Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

[jdmainman123]

And here's the accident again black skin and screaming in my ear and maybe black hair white so let's give it that much pretending to be a real man

Again they're noticing California and Miami Florida as their only two safe havens and again you guys are ignoring our conversation are you taking out the common sense for us to realize for for this you guys are trying to deny me my own records as he said give us a number of airplane Jason's cleared and then are doing what I'm doing right now you guys still haven't come with a number you has had me chasing some fantasy fight with my loser f****** son or my one and a trillion brother I could be in the city couldn't be in the city

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO THE SAME THING ANYTHING YOU WANT ON THIS BEACH OR THE OTHER BEACH. BUT I TOLD YOU WHY YOU GUYS KIDNAP ME HERE YOU GUYS ARE AVOIDING OUR COMMUNICATIONS AND NOT THE AGREEMENT FOR ME TO BE HERE BUT THE STATEMENTS THAT WERE MADE FOR ME TO COME HERE THAT MADE ME COME HERE WHAT IT TOOK FOR ME TO GET YOU HERE and for you guys to ignore my statements and end in the records going to show it's a dead white daughter so whatever you did Black she's f****** dead

And and again for you to refuse us to believe every city on that map has their own Beach and their own yacht fish Jauson BUT TO INCLUDE ME INTO THAT TINY F****** MAP BOTH THE ONE IN WATER THE OTHER ONE ON THE SIDE OF WATER

It's just like I told you the caliber of lies and for you guys to be blaming a black skin man or a white cement for calling a murder incident when two of them are standing together why is one of them white skin and white one was on black skin for you guys to have me repeating the cries of the black skin boys and girls on my beach why are we here

It's just a nasty testament and it's an also a revelation to why they said dead white daughter they needed to say a dead daughter Las Vegas tried to play cool and be nice to people dead son and then all around the world 3 years later I got a f*** another piece of the puzzle f****** I guess I had to afford you guys three f****** cities three different tours three different families. To get hashtag report I guess I needed a second opinion

But you guys are ignoring the statements made by me and another satellite maker City what it took for me to get you here they were promising to save me so for you to tell me I haven't been kidnapped here and abused beyond my my standings just to f****** hear some f****** suicidal men off this two-way integration to keep me here's the problem

To keep me in sunlight City bleeding while this why I have witnessed and viewed all these sites of all the snow and icy cities. And I don't want these girls on my beach it's what I try to tell you and I'm sure you guys heard the report it wasn't the fact that he built a better architecture in 3/4 it's the fact that they build 3/4 city after three fourth city which divided the family on the beach

No no we had it wrong in our initial statement we said the 3/4 architecture would have divided the family that's not it it's whoever's connected to the satellite and the age and the height of these kids 2 ft 3 3 in 3 ft 4 in. Into blame A trapped black skin man in a world will never see the outside walls to not do anything that comes natural to him. Offering all these white hair white skin girls from a snow to see me bleed

Here's the problem I'm doing this for all men and airplane Jason didn't work you got me chasing around a pretend brother fight and you guys still haven't give me the number you're still rendering me not every 51 states on that map have a yacht fish jayson and you can't use the excuse because I know a black skin man you're never going to have sex you're never going to be freed when downtown after downtown threaten you people either two things are going to happen and they're going to start subpoena people from Florida then you threw me off the beach so it's a win-win for me or they're going to save me and then take me off the streets

What you guys are ignoring my calls and the problem is you're chasing me around and you know it's not going to get any better I know it's not going to get any better the problem is you have me talking to these white skin men and boys any way you want and calling out real NBA stars real NFS Stars you guys are just not making any sense so in order to stop this we're going to start on this side of the region attacking Los Angeles 3/4 because I know what I saw there

I saw the drive-in movie theater ripped down because too many curls blowing boys and cars isn't that her dream 2 ft 3 in to get in the car with the boy be too sick have such a tiny a****** that I can't have sex with the little boy outside because he knows the one pound

And just get b******* in front of watching the drive-in movie

You guys are are the lies the caliber of lies the same blame a black skin man for this baby killing no the thing that's pissing me off is his dead white trash white skin Man follow me around with his f****** dead daughter. I have no idea what this b**** is doing I really have not the slightest idea why this white hair white skin girl continue to attack me and it's not heartbreak because one thing killed the f****** old airport a whole member Colorado the whole inside the airport let me guess what killed the airport all those white hair girls. You guys ready for it. #Report not every sunrise has a mother

100% sure this is what happened

And I don't have time for you guys to ignore are any act statements and pretend that they weren't a reality for me that I didn't say them and you sent me here to blame a black skin man mean while this white skin man it's not that my jokes it's that he can't be outside with his white hair daughter

And now they bring it to me a pure white hair white skin girl I said for 15 years I babysat the white skin black hair girls and boys holding hands walking down the boulevard and then you know we had our own incidences but by the time they walked all the way around they went to the hotel by the time they got back down the other side of the strip. Our incidents were done you know they were gone people were on that side were murdered cuz I threatened to probably to f*** with the little boy and girl

But just again the caliber of lies in your satellite and it's stupidity of taking me back to that f****** map with California on one side in Florida on the other side ignoring 48 of the other states have a yacht fish and blindsided Us by saying there's we're the only Beach

It's just a wicked it that's why my my auntie students energy and integration is speaking so constantly and never shutting up talking so fast it's because you guys want to keep me focused on on on whatever whatever fits in with the map on TV I don't know whatever fits in but it's some b******* that we're here for a daughter in this black man quit after he found English

You know it really it really lowers our standards and and for you guys to be offering Las Vegas to these kids it puts me in a Billy Madison but Billy Madison making a serial killer like he gets mad kills his father kills the f****** maid starts chopping up bodies in the f****** kitchen

Like Billy Madison graduated Billy Madison part 2 what's the covid on Billy Madison part 2 I guarantee that's the covid I'm looking for. The 12th grade teacher tells him you failed the test now you got to repeat grades one through 12 he snaps invites everybody over to his house for a slumber party starts killing dismembering people in the middle of the night by the time the morning comes she starts working on his own family by the time the sun sets everybody's dead in the house and then he buries them on the backyard and starts his own family that's right and also here's a kicker he gets married to the teacher who failed him she said I knew that I know you had it in your boy.