#and i like seeing the silly things :) it makes me happy

[alchemistc]

Tommy ignores the knock at his door. He's in day three pajamas and the only person who might make the effort to check in on him is his exes best friend. Which.

The knocking continues.

It's getting louder.

There's a Kings game on in the background and he's been elbow deep in the Jeep manual he'd finally cracked open in some sort of weird, fucked up pattern of mourning.

Tommy's never gonna buy a fucking Jeep. He hates them. You own one for more than five years and more than half the parts are replacement parts.

He's been staring at a diagram of the timing belt for half an hour, at least. The last thing he remembers about the game is Kuemper letting in three goals on five shots and somehow the Kings are up two, now, and there's still 25 minutes of game time left.

Tommy reaches for the remote. Turns the volume up.

The knocking returns less than a minute later.

---

There's a box of odds and ends tucked under the table in his entryway. He avoids looking at it. He knows there are a few things missing from it and he really doesn't want to examine what he'll have to do to avoid giving it to Eddie tonight. He cut the cords, he shouldn't be lingering watching the frayed edges sway in the wind, clutching his line like there's anything braced on the other side of it.

Evan's oldest, softest LAFD hoodie, the one that's technically too small for both of them but has stretched shockingly evenly and is definitely not sitting unwashed at the bottom of Tommy's laundry basket. The program from a recital of Denny's they'd stopped by to support him for, on their way out of town for a long weekend. Evan's stupid keto bread and the milk frother he'd left behind three months ago and never bothered to grab because he had more than one.

Whoever is at his door is still fucking knocking, and suddenly Tommy doesn't feel like being polite. He'll shove the box in Eddie's arms and tell him to fuck off and close the last few remaining open doors he has to this.

Only when he swings the door wide it's not Eddie on the other side, and the box nearly takes out whatever Evan - Buck, Jesus Christ - has in his own arms.

Not a Tommy box - too small for all the shit that he'd left behind. He misses the house slippers that had had a permanent spot tucked under the left side of the bed.

Tommy flinches, reels away, tries to shove the box away before Buck can see its contents.

"What are you doing here?" Even tone. No quiver in his voice. He's been called rude and dismissive for less.

Buck scowls. Hefts the rectangular dish in his hands and shoves past Tommy before Tommy can blink.

It's silly to say he chases after him, down the hallway towards the kitchen, but he's not exactly following along behind at a casual leisurely pace.

The glass pan slams down on his kitchen counter and Buck spends a minute staring at the calendar he was only getting two months out of because he couldn't look at the one with all Buck's notes penned in anymore.

"Wow," Buck says, and shifts his weight awkwardly.

"What are you -?"

"Jee and I made you birthday cupcakes," Buck says. His voice is hard. Angry. Hurt. "Happy birthday, asshole."

---

He cracks the lid and there are only three cupcakes inside. Tommy forgets himself. Raises a brow, amusement rolling over him pleasantly, prepared to tease him, but then he catches the set of Buck's legs and the curl of his mouth and the tight way his arm tucks itself back in against his belly, a protective gesture that reminds Tommy very effectively what this is.

"Why?" Tommy wonders aloud, and Evan's scowl deepens.

Buck's scowl.

God.

"We've been planning it for weeks." Something flashes across his eyes before he schools his features. "Jee made me promise to bring you some."

"She must not be a skilled baker," Tommy jokes. "If these are the only ones that made it."

Evan's expression twists. "I ate most of them."

The frosting looks fresh. No creases in the paper cup holding them together.

"I had to make a new batch of frosting because I used some of it for -." He cuts himself off. Looks like he'd like to throw it in Tommy's face but can't quite force himself to hurt Tommy.

It hurts as much as he'd expected, anyway.

The world is a small place. It's not the first time he's had to speak to an ex when he didn't want to. It's never pleasant.

This is worse. The cut and run is supposed to give him time.

Evan Buckley has been an ache behind his ribcage for months, now, long before he'd made that final decision. He'd known it was too little too late. Buck's gonna be the shadow other men see behind his eyes for years.

Buck's apparently found and slept with someone within the week and a half span from Tommy walking out to his sad shitty mopey birthday.

That he'd forgotten about.

Tommy leans in. Picks up a cupcake. Licks a stripe through the frosting and makes a face when he realizes it's buttercream.

"The ones you were supposed to get had the whipped cream one you like," Buck says, accusingly.

That somehow stings just a little bit extra.

Tommy pulls back the paper, takes a bite. There's raspberry filling inside, and Tommy can feel tears prickling at the edges of his eyes, because when he'd told Evan about how his grandma baked he'd been thinking of Evan being a grandparent, the kind of shit he'd forbidden himself from imagining with anyone he was dating years ago.

"Thank you," he manages, and Buck frowns.

"He thought the whipped cream was too sweet." And Tommy probably deserves this but he's not particularly in the mood.

"Cut it out, Buck."

Buck rolls his jaw. "I just figured you'd wanna know how it's going. Maybe I could tally up the hookups for you, count them all up by gender and stamina and opinions on how I should feel and act and fall for someone. Find out if I'm actually gay enough to be a man's last."

---

The rest of the cupcake kind of collapses and oozes as Tommy smacks it down on the counter. He takes thirty seconds to pull the other two cupcakes out before he's grabbing the too-large fake Pyrex and turning heel. The keto bread goes in the pan. Then the milk frother.

Tommy yanks the recital program off the fridge and tosses it in the trash.

Buck almost looks triumphant.

"The box under the side table has the rest. You can see yourself out."

He actually does exactly as he's told, and Tommy listens to his footsteps drift off, shoulders hunched in and the breath tight in his throat. He'd been cruel, it was only fair Buck got a few final kicks in.

Tommy sucks in a breath and blinks away the moisture at the edges of his vision.

The footsteps take a heel turn at the side table and turn right back around.

"This isn't everything."

Tommy half expects some panned comment about how Tommy's got his heart - the kind of silly shit he'd say to a dead outlaw.

"My sweatshirt," Buck says, and Tommy freezes.

He could lie. He could pretend he had no idea where it was. Claim he didn't remember it even being here, because that particular piece of clothing did have a tendency to travel.

He doesn't fucking want to hand that one over.

Buck smirks, like he's caught the crack, and is looking for ways to exploit it.

"I own my own house!" Tommy says, and it's a terrible launching point but Buck latches on.

"You just left, Tommy! I know I jumped the gun, Tommy, but you didn't even - you just left! I'm sorry, okay. I'm sorry I didn't know I was into men until you. I'm sorry you had to be my first, I'm sure that must have been such a burden for you."

"That's not fair."

"You didn't even give me a chance. That was - I'm so angry with you, Tommy. I'm so fucking mad."

"I know."

"But that's what you planned for, right? That's - you ripped the bandaid, Tommy, except there's a whole fucking untreated stab wound right underneath and it's still bleeding, Tommy."

"Did you even make this round of cupcakes with your niece?" It's better to keep his family's names out of his mouth. Just keep those ties cut.

Buck looks livid. "No, you idiot, I whipped up a tiny batch of this recipe just for the excuse to see you and - and tell you what a stupid, awful coward you are."

"That's not f-." He isn't sure whether Buck is being facetious about the small batch thing or not. He doesn't have any time to think about it.

"My sister and Chim are having another baby. Bobby and Athena are probably gonna host Christmas this year. Eddie shaved off the mustache and he's, like, dancing now, I guess. Hen and Karen are good for the first time in -." He shakes his head. Stares at Tommy. Tommy can't quite hide from that gaze. "We were good, Tommy. We were - you loved me."

He'd never said the words. Neither had Evan, but they'd both known. Both felt it. Tommy let it go too far, did it scared for longer than he usually would.

"It's not like that just went away when I walked out, Evan," Tommy hisses, and then regrets it immediately.

Evan has spent most of this visit pushing, pressing, digging fingers into the wound to make it hurt.

Evan goes silent now, reeling back a little. He seems shocked that Tommy had admitted it.

"I want you to go," Tommy says. "I need you to go, Buck."

It was the right dagger the first time, but apparently it's only effective once.

"I love you too, you know." His voice is soft. Tommy can't meet his eye. "And I hate you. I hate you even though I know that's what you wanted but I love you too much to not hate you out of spite."

Tommy knows if he caves it's done. He's signing himself over to whatever fucked thing will end them a week, a month, five years, two decades from now.

"Go home, Buck. Hate me there."

---

He goes in for the kill.

"I called Abby, two nights ago."

Right for the jugular. No survivors.

"She laughed for like twenty minutes, and then she tried to get me to chat about our sex life for comparison, and then she was shocked silent for a full minute when I wouldn't." Because Evan had always been a little too open about those details. "She also told me she forgave you but she doesn't think you ever forgave yourself."

Tommy agrees. For all that they'd been terrible for each other, they'd known how the hell to take care of one another like no one's business.

"I want you to go," Tommy says, steady, quiet, nearly a snark for how deep his voice goes to hide the tremor in it.

Buck cocks a hip against the doorframe. "I want my sweatshirt."

The breath that escapes him is shaky, but her think he hides most of it behind the hand over his face, the finger pinched at the bridge of his nose.

"I can't do this."

"Exactly how many men and women do I have to fuck before you believe the future I'm looking at is with you?"

"All of them! None! It was a stupid thing to say and it's not what I meant and I can't do this."

Buck spins on his heel. Grabs the box he'd set aside and hefts it up into his arms. "I'm coming back for my sweatshirt," he says. "You let me know whether you want to talk about the data points of the sexuality spreadsheet or about us."

"There is no us, Buck." His voice sounds defeated even to himself.

"If that was true you'd just give me the stupid sweater and be done."

Tommy sits in silence. He does not get up to retrieve the hoodie. Buck is still angry, but his smile is wide and bashful.

Tommy listens to his footsteps trail down the hall, towards the door, out of it. He hears the Jeep's ignition catch, the wheels roll off the drive.

He realizes he'd left the goddamn Jeep manual open on the timing belt page, right there on his side table where he'd pointed out the things he wanted Evan to take to clear him from his life.

---

There is someone knocking at his door.

Tommy doesn't quite ignore it.

He hid the sweatshirt in one of his toolbox drawers when Evan texted him this morning to let him know he'd be over with a six pack and a pot of chili.

There's a zero percent chance Evan's getting that sweatshirt back, tonight.

[spidybaby]

Jealous Mind

Summary: Pedri gets jealous when he overhears someone saying his best friend likes you.

Warnings: cursing, suggestive content.

A/N: a little angsty and a little something for you 🤍

"Joder, you're spraying yourself with the whole bottle of perfume." Ferran says, waving his hand in front of his face.

Pedri chuckles, lifting the bottle and spraying Ferran several times. Ferran tries to fight by grabbing Pedri's wrist and taking the bottle.

"Venga, stop that." Pedri says, slapping Ferran's hand away. "Let's get out of here." He says, grabbing his stuff.

Ferran imitates Pedri, grabbing his toiletry bag. He walks happy behind his friend. Ferran was talking about this new fifa record he got.

"I'll pick Y/n, and then I'll drive you home." Pedri says, smiling at his phone. "I'm talking her out tonight."

Ferran smiles. "Someone's in love." Ferran yells, hitting Pedri's arm.

"Stop!" Pedri laughs. "We are going to crash."

The conversation went from Ferran teasing Pedri to how excited Ferran was about playing fifa and getting to beat someone's record.

Pedri was talking about this new project he has with Springfield and that he has an interview on this famous TV show in Spain.

"Hey, please text Y/n that I'm almost there." Pedri says, passing the phone to Ferran.

Ferran, of course, can not be trusted and start sending silly texts to you. Reading out loud as he writes them, making Pedri laugh.

You were waiting outside for him, and when he parked in front of you, Ferran opened the door of the passenger seat and told you to hoop up.

"You guys are dropping me off in a little bit, so it makes sense to switch now." He says, closing the passenger door and entering the car again.

"Hola, Pepi." You say, giving your boyfriend a kiss.

"Can I have a kiss too?" Ferran asks, head between the seats. His lips in a scrunched in a duck mode.

Pedri laughs, giving Ferran a hit on the head. "Sientate bien." He says, moving his attention to you, giving you another kiss. "Let's go." He says, hands again on the wheel.

You turn to Ferran, "How are you, Ferran?"

"Very good now that you are here with us, preciosa." He says, placing a hand on your shoulder.

You and Ferran have a very good relationship. He loves making jokes with you, he loves giving you advice and he loves your boyfriend, so it's the perfect friendship.

Ferran and you make conversation, Pedri answer here and there to some things you are asking to Ferran.

"We are here, tiburón" Pedri says, parking in front of Ferran's home. "I'll pick you up to get to training tomorrow."

"Adiós, ferran." You say, smiling at him.

"Adiós, platanito." He high five Pedri. "Adiós, guapa." He says, winking at you.

You waved at him as Pedri started the car. You moved your face from the window to your boyfriend.

"How are you, amor?" You ask him, taking the hand he has on the gear lever. "I missed you."

He intertwine his hand on yours, lifting it up to give it a kiss. "I missed you too. Tomorrow the training is in the evening, and that means we can spend all night together."

You smile at that, happy that you can spend time with him. You were busy with your college studies.

"I asked Fer to make us that dessert you like, and we are going to have a movie marathon."

You hug his arm carefully, happy to spend time with him. "I can't wait, Pepi."

"C'mon, guys!" Flick yells. "We are done for the day. I'll see you tomorrow."

Ferran pushed Pedri to the side as he walked into the dressing room. He turns his head back to see pedri giving him the middle finger.

The social media girl was taking a video of them for a reel. "Pidele a Ferran que envie besos." Pedri asks. (Ask Ferran to send kisses)

"Calla' hombre or I'll send your girlfriend some kisses." He says, laughing.

Pedri gave him a hit on the head. "Vete a bañar, que estas apestando." He laughs.

Pedri goes straight to the showers, leaving all the dirt and grass away. He jokes around with other players and talks with them about the game that's about to happen tomorrow.

He changes between conversations with Lamine, with Pau, with Hector. He loves those kids and loves spending time with them.

"Are you ready?" Pedri asks Ferran.

"Give me two minutes." Ferran says, still changing.

"Meet me in my car." He says, grabbing his things and walking to his car.

When he's there. He pulls the window down a little bit. Going on his phone while he waits. He hears the voice of Hector and Marc, he thought of scaring them since the car that they were using was next to his.

"No, but Ferran was right. That girl is a fucking show to the eyes." Marc says.

"Fuck, when he showed us her picture I felt I was dreaming." Hector laughs. "What he said was her name?"

"Y/n, or something." Marc says. "Fuck, to be able to follow her."

Pedri lift an eyebrow. What are they talking about?

"Bro code, Marc."

"I mean, ughh," Marc groans. "Have you seen her? She's fucking gorgeous, if I had a hall pass I would spend it on her."

Pedri was confused and offended at the same time. Why were they even talking about his girlfriend like that?

"Metete en la fila, because Ferran already said he would be the first if he has a chance." (Get in line)

"Con ese culo, I would try to skip everybody." (With that ass)

They both laugh, entering the car and going their way. Pedri feels a fury inside, he doesn't know what to do.

The passenger door opens, and a very happy Ferran joins him inside the car. Pedri breathes deeply. He's trying to calm himself.

"You okay, platanito?"

Pedri turns to him. He can't believe Ferran would be capable of talking like that about you. Not him. Not his best friend.

"Qué-" He tries to ask. "Qué te hizo tardar?" He asks, trying to act normal. (What took you so long)

"Oh, nothing." He brushed the question. "Just talking with the kiddos."

"Oh." Pedri says. "What were you talking about?"

He starts the car. Trying to act like nothing happened. He's gripping the wheel strongly.

"Just showing them some pictures I had."

The grip grows. He's trying everything not to flip. Maybe they got confused, maybe it's other girl with the same name.

Was your name that common? Maybe it was just a coincidence, maybe he didn't say those things to the boys.

"Are we picking Y/n again?" Ferran asks after a moment of silence.

"No!" He quickly says. "She's doing some projects and can't really go out."

"Oh no, say hi to her for me."

Pedri was lost the rest of the drive to Ferran's home. He was trying to order his mind. Why would Ferran say something about his girlfriend?

Especially something like that.

"Thank you for being my ride." Ferran says, hugging Pedri. "I'm getting the car tomorrow so I won't bother you."

"You don't bother." Pedri says. "See you tomorrow."

Ferran waves goodbye as he drives away. Pedri wants to go see you, even when he doesn't plan it nor knows if you are home.

He calls you when he gets to a red light. Trying to clear his mind from what he heard. The phone rings twice before you pick up the call.

"Hola, mi amor." You answer.

"Hola." He says, sighing.

"Are you okay?" You are surprised by his monotone voice. "Did something happen?"

He keeps his mouth shut for a few seconds, worrying you that something might be wrong.

"No, I just want to see you." He finally says. "Can I?"

"You don't have to ask." You chuckle. "Want me to drive to your place? I know you have a game tomorrow, and you have to rest."

"Don't worry, I'm close to your place. See you in a little bit."

He tries to understand what happened, but he can't understand or wrap his head around it. Why would Ferran say that?

He drives to your place, passing by a drive thru and getting food for the two of you. He's supposed to go home and to rest for the game, but he can't.

He walks over to the elevator, going up to the floor your apartment is in. He doesn't get why he feels nervous. Why is he the embarrassed one? Why is he the one with the guilt feeling?

"Hola, mi guapo," you say, opening the door and hugging him. "What you got in there?" You ask, separating from the hug.

"Your favorite food and some dessert for us to see a movie." He walks with you inside the apartment.

He closes the door, passing an arm around your waist. He goes straight for a kiss. Seeing you makes him feel happy.

You set up the things while he picks a movie for you to see. He helps you move the food from the kitchen to the coffee table in front of your couch.

He picked a creed movie, one of his favorites. You two make small talk as you eat and watch the movie.

He notices that you are on your phone, smiling at something and texting someone. "Attention much?" He jokes with you.

"Sorry, I'm watching a tik tok ferran send me." You say, chuckling at something.

He frowns, not wanting to think about what he overheard. He moves his arm behind you, grabbing your phone and kissing your lips.

"You look so pretty." He smiles, giving you another peck. "Did I tell you that?"

You smile, caressing his cheeks with your thumbs. "Only like a thousand times." You laugh.

He humms. Smiling and resting his head into your chest. "Love you."

You hear three knocks on your door. You put the cup on the table and walk to the door. Finding your boyfriend there.

"Hola, camarón sin cola." You say, happy to see him. "Didn't know you were coming, baby."

You move to the side for him to get inside. He walks happy to your living room, stopping when he sees Ferran sitting on your couch.

"Ferran is helping me with a project." You say, walking back to your seat next to Ferran. "He's such a helpful study buddy." You hug Ferran's side.

Pedri feels his eye twitching. "What's the project about?" He asks, seating in front of you two.

"She's writing about Valencia." Ferran says. "And I'm helping her with some information my mom sent me."

You lift the papers, showing pedri that you were writing about it. "I was going to write about Tenerife, but your parents were busy, and I didn't want to seem pushy about it." You pout.

He smiles. "It's okay." He says, getting up and giving you a kiss. "I'm happy that Ferran helped you."

You nod, squishing Ferran cheek. "He's a good friend." You smile at Pedri.

Pedri was on his phone while Ferran was showing and giving you all the information. Pedri couldn't help but notice how Ferran was a little closer than he should.

He didn't make a scene. He didn't want to seem exaggerated. He feels bad for doing that, he can't help but think that maybe he heard wrong.

You two work for another hour or so. Pedri was like an eagle. He doesn't leave out every breath, every movement, and every look Ferran does.

"Bueno." Ferran says, getting up. "It was a nice experience, happy to be helpful." He says, stretching.

"Thank you, Ferran." You say, giving him a hug. "If I get a good grade, I'll invite you to lunch." You say, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "I promise."

Pedri sighs, trying not to act weird about something he never found weird. "Adiós, tiburón." He says, giving him a hand shake.

He waits until Ferran exits your house. He then bugs you from the back, giving you neck a kiss. "I missed you." He says.

You giggle at the feeling of his stubble. "You've been here this whole time, Pedri."

He pouts, resting his head on your shoulder. "But you were busy with Ferran." He says in this annoyed tone.

You turn, facing him. "I'm all yours." You say, grabbing his face and smashing your lips onto his.

You feel his hands moving from your waist to your ass, lifting you but not breaking the kiss. He walks over to your room.

The kiss breaks only when he leaves you on the bed. He admires you, looking at your face. With one finger, he traces your jaw and lips.

"Eres mia." He says, more to himself than to you.

"Soy tuya, Pedri." You place your hand on the back of his neck. Bringing you closer and kissing his lips.

You finish with yourself makeup, adding some lip oil to your lips. "Pedri, I'm leaving." You say, closing your bedroom door.

He was watching something on your TV. Playing potato. He lifts his head to look at you. "Where are you going?" He pouts. "I thought we were ordering food."

You walk over to him, combing his hair with your fingers. "I can't, Ferran and I are having dinner, and then I'll go with my friends to the club." You smile.

"With Ferran?" He asks, sitting up from his place. "Why are you going out with him?" He asks, mad face.

You don't understand his reaction, "yes, I got an amazing grade in the paperwork." You smile, not understanding the problem. "So I promised him to take him out to eat."

"And you are going out wearing that?"

You take a look at your outfit, you are wearing a jeans mini skirt with a white tank top (the outfit) nothing you would call crazy or out of place.

"I always dress up like these when I go out." You say, obvious tone. "Why does that even matter?"

He stands up. "I'm coming with you." He says, grabbing his jacket.

You shake your head. "No, you are not." Grabbing him by the shoulders and seating him. "I'm going out with Ferran, not an unknown person. And then I'll go out with my friends."

You walk to your wood rack, grabbing your purse and keys. You were about to leave, but you feel Pedri's arm bringing you back to the couch.

"Pedri!" You whine. "What is wrong with you?" You ask, getting mad.

"I just don't think you should go out dressed like that." He says, standing in front of you.

"Joder, pero que no te estoy preguntando, Chaval!" You say, mad about the acting he's putting. (Fuck, I'm not asking you if I can)

"It's cold, you might get sick." He says, trying to excuse the real reason.

"Talk to me!" You say, grabbing his hand.

"Está frío, look at the weather app." He repeats.

You shake your head no, trying to understand his reasonings. You then think of a way of getting out of there since he didn't want to talk.

You nod, pretending to understand him. "Fine, can you bring me my jacket?" You say, smiling. "It's on the closet, left door. Then we can go."

He nods happy, walking over to your room. As soon as you notice that he enters your room. You grab your purse again and walk out the door. Locking it on your way out.

He had a key, so it didn't matter. That was just giving you time to go down to your car. You enter happy, noticing that he tries to calm you, but you send him to voice mail.

You drive to the restaurant, phone ringing with the calls from Pedri. You park and grab your phone, answering his call. "Hola." You say, happy tone.

"Why did you leave me?" He asks, mad. "I told you I was going with you."

"And I told you no." You say, getting out of your car. "See you when I get back, love you." You make a kiss sound and hang up the call.

You walk into the restaurant, telling the girl at the front Ferran's last name. You see him on his phone.

"Can I sit, Mister Torres?" You ask, smiling.

"Hola, guapa." He says, getting up and hugging you. "Sit, sit."

He helps you with the chair. You order a drink and your food because you were a little late.

"How's Aida?" He asks, moving his eyebrows up and down. "I was talking to her before coming here. She told me you guys were having a girls' night."

"We do." You say, playful smile on your face. "She told me that you guys have been talking a lot."

Ferran blushes. "Don't give me that look." He says, covering his face. "I'm shy."

"You didn't sound shy last time we got out and slept at her house." You laugh, remembering what happened.

"I can play that game, too." He says, moving his eyebrows up and down. "Don't forget that time. I had a very bad sleep because someone doesn't know how to control the volume."

It's your turn to blush. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"Sure, sure." He laughs at your blushed state. "Pedri remembers." He smirks, drinking his beer.

You frown. "Talking about Pedri."

"What, a new adventure you want to tell me about?"

You think if you should really tell him about what happened, but you want to know what might be triggering for him.

You tell Ferran about the incident and how he never asked you to change or to cover yourself before. You ask him if maybe he changed his attitude during training.

"He's been kind of away from me, I wanted to ask you about it." He says, thinking about the whole situation. "I thought you knew about it."

You nod, not really knowing anything of what was happening. You shake your head, moving to another topic.

Ferran and you talk about different things. One of them and the largest was about him asking you for advice on him and your friend.

"I really like her." He says, walking with you to your car. "I just hope I don't fuck things up."

"You won't." You smile, grabbing his hands and giving them a squish. "Hey, Pedri is at my place. If you have time maybe come with me so we can talk."

He nods, telling you that he will follow you on his car. You thank him, driving to your place.

On the way there, you called Pedri, who was still mad at you for leaving him there. You tell him that you will be there in a few minutes.

When you got there, Ferran and you were talking about something Aida sent him. You sent her a picture of the two of you from his phone.

Telling her that you will free him as soon as possible. You also apologize to her for not coming to your girls' night.

"Pepi" You call as you enter your home. "Pedri!"

You ask Ferran to wait for you. You walk over to your room, finding him watching a movie, mad expression on his face.

"Amor, don't be mad." You smile a little. Walking over to him and hugging him.

You feel his arms hugging you back, his warm lips kissing your head. "I'm not mad." He says. "Why are you here so early?"

"I wanted to come home to you." You kiss the top of his nose. "And I have someone who wants to see you."

He frowns, "Who?"

You separate, pulling him out of bed and out off the room. "I know I didn't give you a heads up, but we are worried about you." You say, walking to the kitchen.

"Hola, platanito." Ferran greet him.

Pedri sighs, getting mad at him for showing up at your house. "Why is he here?" He asks.

Your turn to him, astonished by his question. "Pedri, Ferran wants to see if you are okay."

"Amigo, I'm sorry if I've been so distant. I don't know what is going on, but I'm here for you." He smiles.

"I'm good, you can leave." Pedri says, turning his back and trying to walk back to your room.

You stop him, grabbing his t-shirt. "Pedro, stop acting like this. Talk to us." You say, stern tone.

Pedri combs his hair, trying to keep his cool and not snap at his friend. He just shakes his head no.

He walks over to the couch. Ferran and you follow him. You sit next to him, he has his head on his hands.

"Pedri, please talk to us." You begg him.

He lifts his head, looking mad at Ferran. "Want to know the problem?" He asks Ferran.

"Joder, que si!" Ferran says.

"Tú eres el problema."

Ferran and you look at each other. Confused look on your faces. "Pedri, what are you talking about?" You ask him.

"Este imbecil." Pedri says, bitter tone. "Le dijo a Hector y Marc que si estabas buenisima, que si tuviera una oportunidad contigo la aprovechaba." He says to you, pointing at Ferran. (This asshole told Hector and Marc that you were so hot and that if he had a chance with you, he would take it)

You turn your face to Ferran, surprised expression. "Ferran, what the fuck!" You say.

Ferran lifts his hands. "I didn't say that."

Pedri scuffs. "I heard them. They even mentioned that you showed them a picture of her and that they want to follow her just to look at her." He shouts, mad.

Ferran thinks of what happened that day. "I never talked about your girlfriend." He says, chuckling. "I was talking about her friend."

Pedri blinks, confused.

"Qué amiga?" He asks (what friend?)

Ferran takes his phone out, opens Instagram, and searches for your friend's Instagram profile. "See, even the mother fucker of Hector gave her a like on the picture I show them." He says.

"Then why did they say her name was Y/n?" Pedri asks, mad low tone.

Ferran laughs. "Because I told them she was Y/n's friend because I didn't want them to find her."

You then turn to him. "Is that why Hector followed me? To look at my following list?" You ask.

"I would never betray you, hermano." Ferra says, getting closer to him. "I promise."

Pedri softens his expression. "No me estas mintiendo, tiburón?" He asks, pouting. (You are not lying to me, right?)

Ferran then hits him on the head. "I would never look at your girlfriend in any sexual way. She's my friend and so are you."

Ferran throws his arms around Pedri, making Pedri lose the pout. "Enough, I'm still mad." Pedri says, getting off the hug but passing his arm around your waits. "I'm sorry, I was dumb. Sorry to you, hermosa. And to you too, Tiburon."

You understood the situation, hugging him. "Next time, please talk to us about any doubt you ever get." You say.

Pedri nods, kissing your cheek.

"Quieres quedarte, Ferran? It's late." You ask him.

He shakes his head. "No, thank you. I want to be able to sleep." He laughs, refering to the talk you two have over dinner.

You grab a pillow from the couch and throw it at him. "Go away, Torres." You say. Turning to see Pedri, who's laughing. "And you, quit it, or you'll sleep on the couch." You smile a little.

🏷: @gadriezmannsgirl 💛

[seldompathic]

Trying to remember that I can enjoy things, even if other people didn't like it.

Reading YouTube comments on Sonic Prime stuff was a bad idea. Got me feeling stupid for liking my silly crazy boys :(( Was the show flawed? I mean, yeah. Almost fundamentally. But still, it made me laugh and smile and kick my feet! It made me feel like a kid again, and y'know what? That's enough for me.

It ABSOLUTELY had its share of cringe moments, but for everything that Prime was, second-hand embarrassment and all, I was BEAMING. I can understand (and agree) with a lot of the backlash without shitting on it entirely. I can nod along with fuming fans while cheering for my favorite goofballs. I can appreciate the beautiful animation, the composition, and the sheer AMBITION of such a massive and dramatic project. The humor, the expressions, the fluidity of some of those fight scenes..MAN.

I will always adore Prime, awful pacing or not, and that isn't because I'm blind to the mistakes throughout its run. It's because I love the blue blur enough to see past the hiccups. That's my funny little guy, after all. So fuck it.

I love my little show :))

[EDIT: Reading all the comments and tags is making me smile SO big and wide. I'm happy I'm not as alone in this as I thought!]

[ari-cuno]

A little drabble I wrote after some inspiration and a little break between drawing some art <3

I just wanted to experiment and see how an interaction like this would go between them. It was supposed to be angst but I couldn't help changing it a bit. >3<

Please let me know if I did the couch potato justice @zu-is-here and if there's anything else I could've done better!

“Aim…” Axel mumbled, looking as if he were ready to crumble or disappear from the anxiety in his soul. It formed a painful lump, making his words struggle to come out properly. But under all that was the undying love and trust of the man before him. In all his unconditional love there was still part of him that needed to know, it needed to know that Aim was truly there, and that he was his, no matter how murky the waters they swam in were. Of course it was a silly question though. He knew that answer well enough. Aim was his, but…was Axel himself Aim's? 

“...I need you, Aim.” His voice finally managed to say. “...But I don't know if you need me.” He admitted quietly, his voice suddenly breaking.

Aim, sitting on the other side of the bed, turned to look at the distressed skeleton, offering him a look of comfort with some sort of humor attached to it. “What do ya mean? Of course I need you.” He said, sounding slightly surprised by how the shorter skeleton only seemed to look sadder at his reply. 

“...No- just- ugh! You don't understand!” Axel cried out as he sat on the opposite side of the bed. “You seemed so fine before I came back to find you. Part of me wonders if I'm being selfish by asking so much of you. You don't owe me your companionship. But…but I want it, I crave it, and I crave you.” He said, looking frustrated. 

“...Heh, you have no idea how nice it is having you around.” Aim said, laying back on the mattress, his arms resting above his head. That response made Axel look at him with surprise. 

“If anything I probably need you more. I mean, I must've been really stuck in your head to make you come back after so long. Like a rattle in your skull?” He said in a lighthearted tone, watching Axel's face flush as he looked away. 

“Hm…something like that.” Axel said quietly. 

“This whole thing between us isn't bad. You've already done so much for me and-” Aim paused, noticing the little glitter from a tear that streamed down Axel's cheek. Oh no, had he said something wrong? 

“You're right. You have been stuck in my head forever, and you have no idea how great it was to see you again, but…I don't want to push my feelings on you like this.” Axel said quietly, letting out a little laugh through a few sobs. 

“Stars…oh stars…how are we going to make this work?” He said meekly, voice full of raw vulnerability and sorrow. His soul fluttered intensely in his chest any time he laid eyes on the man before him, couch-potato and lazy-bones aside. 

“Axel, you're crying-” Aim tried, sitting up. 

“Of course I am…this is never going to work!” Axel cried out, trying to wipe his tears away. “I can't even kiss you-��

“You can.” Aim replied. 

“...what?” Axel said, lifting his head up to look at him, surprised by his answer. Aim looked at him with a more genuine smile. “Is that why you are so upset? Are you afraid to ask me for a hug or a kiss?” The larger skeleton asked with a little grin. 

“I might not get it, but we're a team. One member just can't pull all the weight, I'm too heavy for you to be carrying all the weight of us. I can try my best for you if it will make you happy, just ask. There's nothing wrong giving back to my ‘partner’, eh?” Aim grinned, winking under his goggles. 

Axel stared, the glitchy skeletons gaze was  less upset, and more just shocked and moved by his words. “...you'd…you'd do that for me? Aim please…your boundaries, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.” He said gently, trying to be careful with his wording. 

“Oi! I don't mind as long as you're happy by the end of it, I gotta keep the hand who feeds me happy, don't i?~” 

Axel rolled his eyes, sighing. He wiped the tears from his eyes, taking in a steady breath to calm himself. “Well…” he said, moving closer to Aim, their bodies close in contact. 

“...I've always wanted to see you without your goggles. The real you. I miss your beautiful eye lights. Please…let me see you.” Axel whispered, shifting his potion, sitting right in front of Aim as he reached out to the ever important goggles that hid Aim's orange eyelights. 

Aim seemed to hesitate, looking unsure as Axel grabbed the edges of his goggles with care. “Heh…they really haven't changed much.” He said, struggling to keep the smile on his face. “Are you sure it's worth your time?” The larger skeleton asked. 

Axel frowned, lifting his goggles above his head gently. “...I'm sure.” He said firmly, cupping Aim's face with his hands, lifting himself up and settling amongst his partner's lap. He moved his face closer to Aim's, a small smile of appreciation and adoration flashing across his face. He was warm, very warm, and the way his eyelights stared back at him caused Axel's soul to flutter intensely with delight. 

He leaned it, pressing his nose against Aim's, an affection nuzzle. “...Is this okay?” He asked after a few tense moments of silence, staring into Aim's face. The other skeleton seemed quite relaxed, his eye lights faintly illuminating the space between them like a dim light, a small light compared to the blue hue spread across Axel's face.

“Of course.” Aim said calmly, “...you know, you're actually pretty light, heh.” He teased. 

“Feeling better?” Aim asked for a few moments, the warmth between them being pleasant, like a warm blanket on a cold day. Axel hesitated, his hands resting on Aim's chest as he let them go from his face. 

“...May I kiss you?” Axel asked, before stopping to think for a second. “-and more?” He asked with an added huskiness to his voice, his soul beating heavily against his ribcage in a flurry of emotions. 

“Sure.” Aim said simply, leaning back. His simple response caught Axel off guard. Stars, did he really trust him that much? Axel looked starstruck, staring at Aim with sparkling eyes full of a swirl of positive emotions, the tears on his face long dry. 

Aim noticed, looking a little concerned, “You alright-?” He questioned, before he was cut off, his words swallowed up as Axel leaned in, pressing their mouths together in a soft, delicate motion. Axel held himself there for several moments, his breath held as he made contact with Aim, a warmth spreading over him, and a warmth he missed once he pulled away. 

His voice came out in a soft tone, full of emotion. 

“....Everything is fine.”

[moni-logues]

Reciprocity

Pairing: Yoongi x afab reader (Kintsugi couple) feat. A Fine Line Couple

Genre: established relationship

Word count: 5.8k

Summary: A couples' holiday with Suri and Namjoon highlights a particular problem between you and Yoongi.

Content: one reference to self-harm (cutting) but discussion of scars, oral sex (f. receiving), discussions of sex life stuff?, i guess some poor communication, overheard sex

A/N: yes, it's me once again with my favourite characters no apologies. i have been thinking about this since maybe even before i finished the series??? and i'm glad to have it finally out of my head. this is unedited and unbeta'd, written by me in the course of this one single day and well, here we are. This is set in the summer, somewhere a few months after the ending of the series.

* * *

“It’ll be fun!” 

Yoongi just nodded and continued carefully folding clothes and packing them in a bag.  

“You don’t want to come,” you continued, heart sinking a little. 

“Of course I do.” 

“Tell your face.” 

He smiled then but didn’t want you to see it, turned around to fetch underwear from a drawer. When he turned back, his face was schooled into something a little more neutral, polite. 

“I’m not saying it’s my first choice of holiday,” he explained, “but I want to go.” 

“Good, because you’re coming whether you like it or not!” 

You hopped off the bed, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and then moved into the kitchen to prepare snacks for the road. At the advice of your therapist, you were taking Yoongi at his word: if he said he wanted to come, you would believe him and it was not your responsibility if he was lying. Even though it felt like it was.  

A week in the sun had been your initial suggestion. Somewhere where the heat wasn’t a curse, but a blessing. Clear blue skies and cool water. Peace. Unbridled joy where the real world couldn’t touch you. Even you weren’t entirely sure when it turned into a couples’ holiday, but it was an idea that neither Suri nor Yoongi would ever come up with, and you weren’t sure about Namjoon so it must have been yours. Sounded like the sort of thing you would say. Yoongi had said yes and let you do the research, find somewhere not too far away, easy to get to but far enough to feel new, to feel fresh.  

He had been fairly tight-lipped about it since then. Got a little quiet when you brought it up, when you showed him tourism websites with activities laid out. He insisted he wanted to come but never quite managed to muster up the level of enthusiasm you’d hoped for. In a way, that was just Yoongi being Yoongi, but there was anxiety in you, too, and it was making you sensitive. You could see everyone hating the idea, hating the trip, having the worst time. The awkward silences, arguments about what to do or who should clean what. Namjoon had joked that he would have to force Suri to come and he had said it with a laugh but you knew it was true.  

You turned your head and looked out of the car window at the increasingly green scenes around you and bit your lip. It felt incongruous somehow to not be happy and peaceful when the environment was so lush and bright with life. With ease. With a natural kind of solidity that had stood for hundreds or thousands of years and was still standing. You felt small and silly to be worried about this but it didn’t stop you worrying. Yoongi’s hand found yours and, like it always did, made a warmth start in your heart. You closed your eyes for a second of intense gratitude and then turned to him. 

“It’ll be fun,” he said.  

And it sounded like he meant it. 

* 

You and Yoongi arrived first, took the back bedroom overlooking the lake at Yoongi’s insistence because it was the better view. You had stopped on the way for groceries and you stocked the fridge, took out food to cook for dinner, since it would be about that time when Namjoon and Suri arrived.  

The cabin was wooden and new, so new it still smelt literally pine-fresh. The sun was just starting to dip, dripping golden light over everything, spreading a thousand tiny diamonds on the surface of the lake. It couldn’t have been more picturesque. It made you want to send a postcard for the first time since you were a child.  You settled for texting photos to Taehyung who told you to stop messaging him. Your ripples of anxiety were peaking, anticipating Namjoon and Suri’s arrival and what sort of dynamic it would bring, how it might disturb the peace of this place.  

Yoongi tore you from the window and asked you to start peeling vegetables. You were glad of the task. 

“-t I don’t want to be here, it’s just going to be weird.” 

Suri’s voice came from the hallway and you froze. So did Yoongi. 

“I don’t know why you keep saying that-” Namjoon - “it’s not as if we’ve never spent time with them. You like them.” 

Suri’s hum in response sounded unconvinced.  

You heard the kicking off of shoes, could follow their footsteps into the living room, around the corner from the kitchen where the two of you were hidden. Yoongi put down his knife and moved to go, intercept them before they said something you didn’t want to hear, but you put a hand out to stop him. Your stomach was sick but you had to hear it. Whatever it might be.  

“She’s jus-” 

And they rounded the corner into the kitchen, stopped in their tracks when they saw you. 

“Hey!” Namjoon was the first to recover. “We didn’t know you guys had arrived already! Where have you parked?” 

“’Round the back,” Yoongi answered. 

He was looking at Suri and you were looking anywhere but. Face burning with shame—that this was your idea, that it was all your fault, that you should’ve made you presence known earlier, that no one except you wanted to do this—you swallowed and smiled as brightly as you could. 

“You made it!”  

Your cheer sounded forced to you; maybe Namjoon and Suri wouldn’t hear it. Maybe they would believe you. 

“Public transport is a fucking nightmare,” Suri said with feeling.  

“I told you we could’ve rented a car,” Namjoon replied as if they had had this argument already. 

“I’m not driving in these hills! You should do it. Right?” 

You flinched when she turned to you and realised you had to answer. 

“Uh-” 

“Yoongi drove, right? Literally what are men good for if not chauffeuring you around?” 

It was a lifeline for her, really, but you took it readily, gladly, anything to drive over the awkwardness and shame you were feeling. 

“She has a point, Joon,” you said, grinning at him. “You could at least get a licence.”  

Namjoon rolled his eyes indulgently, let you and Suri rib him a little more, smoothing things over at his own expense. You were deeply grateful.  

“Come and help us do dinner,” you said, ferreting out more chopping boards from the cupboard, handing over knives and ingredients.  

It would be fine, you told yourself as you diligently and with great focus, chopped an onion. It would be fine. It would not be weird. It would be fine. It would be fine.  

* 

It was fine. Dinner was cooked and eaten and cleaned up after. Drinks were taken on to the back porch, overlooking the lake, the heat lingering long into the darkness. It was not dissimilar to the other dinners you had had as a foursome. As long as you could forget what Suri might have been about to say, you were sure you could have a good time.  

* 

You woke the next morning, sun streaming sharply through a gap in the curtains. You rolled over, tucked yourself into Yoongi’s side even though you were already hot and sticky. You were willing yourself to fall back to sleep, even if just for a few minutes, and then you were sitting, eyes wide, ears trained.  

There was no mistaking the sound of other people having sex. You grimaced, settled back down in bed and pulled the covers over your head. 

“What?” Yoongi mumbled, not so much a word as a sound. 

“Can’t you hear them?” you asked in a stage whisper. 

Another grunt from Yoongi. Then you felt his body tense, followed by a sigh and a sleepy chuckle. 

“You’re the one who wanted to come on holiday with another couple.” 

You whined, prodded him sharply in the chest. 

“Not because I was anticipating this! Do they have to be so loud?” 

“This place is not exactly well sound-proofed.” 

“I so don’t want to hear this.” 

“Go back to sleep,” Yoongi said and he sounded like he was already halfway there himself.  

“I don’t know how you can sleep now that you can hear that.” 

Merely a hum in response. 

You lay for a few minutes, desperately trying not to hear the only noise in the house, and then you gave up. Threw back the covers and went into the bathroom to shower. The rush of the shower might not exactly cover it but it would give you something to do.  

* 

“Hey,” Yoongi greeted the other couple when they came out to join the two of you on the back porch, where you were sitting with coffee and fruit. “Just a quick request: could you please have louder sex? I’ve been getting a little too much sleep recently.” 

You and Suri both froze and you saw the blood swarm in her cheeks, red and hot. Namjoon just laughed.  

“I’ll see what we can do.” 

Suri swatted him harshly on the arm and he barely noticed, slung said arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, kissed her on the top of her head. If he felt embarrassed or awkward about it, it wasn’t showing. What was it like to be so self-assured, confident, relaxed about everything? Even with Suri’s face still pink, her mouth pulled into a scowl, furiously glowering at her boyfriend, he looked easy, his smile gentle and eyes bright. You envied him. You still felt silly and embarrassed about the previous evening, and embarrassed about hearing them have sex; he didn’t seem embarrassed at all to be heard.  

* 

Yoongi had insisted on washing up after breakfast. Didn’t let anyone else so much as carry a bowl back to the kitchen. He was taking his time on it, deliberately, carefully, putting off what he knew could not be avoided.  

He was rarely unaware of his own body. Vigilant at all times about its exposure. He had suffered years of summers under long sleeves and trousers, would suffer higher temperatures, more humidity if he had to. He regretted everything he had done to himself, but not in a way that prevented him doing it again. No amount of shame or embarrassment would stop him, it seemed. Not that it happened much these days, but the possibility was always there.  

Even when he was with you, he couldn’t let go. Even though you were sweet and kind and loving. Even though he knew there was a part of you that understood. Even though he could kiss your thighs where you had cut them and love you so much that it hurt, love your skin, love your scars (hate that you had them). Even though you kissed him, all over, generous and unsparing, even though you said you loved him, all the parts, every bit of him. He knew what he was and he found that breaking the habit of hiding himself was harder than the hiding had been in the first place. 

With his task finished, and all the others he had made up for himself (cleaning counters, fluffing cushions, clearing the dryer of lint even though they hadn’t used it), he had come to the point he could no longer avoid. He moved slowly up the stairs, towards the bedroom you and he were sharing; he stopped halfway up. He could see you through the door, left ajar.  

Your bikini was floral, cutesy, every bit you. The smile formed on his mouth before he had registered the sight. Then it was wiped away because he saw your face: your worried eyebrows, lip caught between your teeth. Your fingers ran over the scars on your thighs; your face turned towards the window, from which point Yoongi knew you could see Namjoon and Suri, already out, lounging. He could see cogs turning in your head, first this way then that.  

And then it wasn’t just the scars. You fussed with the top, fussed with the bottom, turned in the mirror to check yourself from the side, twisted your head around to catch yourself from the back. You ran a hand over your face. You picked up a slip of fabric—some kind of cover-up, a dress?—and held it up against yourself. 

He knew he shouldn’t be spying like this. He wanted to leap the remaining stairs and take you into bed where he would show you exactly what he thought of your body: your perfect, desirable, soft, body that he loved and loved to love. He wanted, briefly, to throw Suri in the lake and hope there were eels because he knew you were still thinking about it: last night.  

He knew that it didn’t matter much what he did because it wasn’t that easy. It wasn’t as easy as being told you were fine. He knew because you told him all the time but he still felt like there was something wrong with him.  

He carried on up the stairs and knocked on the door as he entered. Your face was immediately bright, free from clouds, as clear as the sky outside.  

“Coming outside?” you asked as he moved in closer, couldn’t stop himself kissing you just once, putting all his love into it, however brief, however small. 

“Yeah, just coming. You go ahead.” 

You nodded and skipped out and there was a deep tug in his chest. There was a pit of snakes in his stomach but, fuck it, he’d been bitten before. Everyone out there beside the lake knew him, knew what he was if not in full, lurid detail. He took a deep breath and fished around in the bottom of his bag for the pair of swimming shorts he had bought in a moment of madness and packed because he wanted to make the effort for you. He hadn’t expected to wear them—they were still fully tagged and pristine, ready for refunding—but here he was.  

He hadn’t anticipated the difficulty. He sat for ten minutes at the dining table in the kitchen, willing himself to get up and go outside. His legs weren’t all that bad, not the lower half. No one would care. You’d seen them before anyway. It wasn’t a big deal. He was telling himself all the right things but he couldn’t make himself move because he was thinking about all the people who’d seen him in his grossest state. Thought of the things some of them had said. Thought about their reactions. Thought about yours. Tried to focus on that. Reminded himself that it was you out there and his best friend. Suri was still a question mark but he also thought that she could go fuck herself if she had a problem with it because he was still prepared to fight her for potentially upsetting you. 

“I don’t know. I’ll go and see where he is.” 

Your voice floated over to him and that was it, the alarm call, the deadline reached. He stood from the chair and made himself move with he didn’t know what power.  

“Hey!” you cried, arms outstretched to welcome him as he approached the group. “I was just coming to look for you—thought you might have got lost.” 

He smiled, let you kiss him on the cheek, direct him into a sun lounger, sit down with him on it, not quite in his lap but almost.  

Suri raised a hand in way of a greeting; she was flat on her back, sunglasses on, straps of her bikini tucked away, her tiny body sizzling in the sun. Namjoon sat next to her, under the shade of a parasol, dug out of the cabin’s garage, book in hand. He nodded at Yoongi and kept reading. 

“I’m going to go in the lake,” you said, one hand resting on his calf. “Do you want to come?” 

He was putting all his energy into not looking where you were touching him, not noticing, pretending that this wasn’t the first time for he couldn’t remember how many years that he’d not been fully covered in front of people. He wasn’t sure what his face said, if his mouth said anything at all, but you were standing and holding out your hands for him so he must have said yes, let you lead him to the edge of the water and then jump in.  

The water was colder than he’d expected. He gasped and swallowed a lungful, came up spluttering. He wiped the water from his face and pushed his hair back. He blinked the water from his eyes and each frame brought you closer, until your arms were around his neck and your lips on his.  

“I love you, you know that?” 

He nodded. 

“I love you, too.” 

“I know.” 

Did you? Did you really know the full depth and breadth of it? The way he loved you was desperate and whole. He had loved desperately before, loved anxiously, a long time ago when he still thought it was possible he could be loved. There were times when it terrified him. You terrified him because you loved him and it was impossible. Panic seized him and he wanted to run, run anywhere, get as far away as possible until you and your enormous heart were nowhere to be seen. Then you would call him or you would touch him and the panic disappeared, a low-grade anxiety in its place.  

He hadn’t realised he had given up on it. Before you let him kiss you, before you kissed him back and said things he never believed he would hear, he had retired the idea of being loved. It wasn’t for everyone and it wasn’t for him. He took what he could get and accepted that his lot in life was nothing more. But he met you and it hit him square in the face: that he’d stopped expecting joy. That he was fine because he never expected what he deeply and desperately wanted: to be loved. 

And that’s why you were terrifying. Because he was getting used to you. Getting used to being wanted. Getting used to the idea that he could be wanted. Sometimes he thought he was expecting it. Expecting you to let him in your arms, in your life. He had to remind himself that he wasn’t owed anything, didn’t deserve anything. It was the other way around: he was in debt for everything he had been given by you, for being given you at all. 

* 

They say if you can’t beat them, join them. It was an expression Yoongi was apparently taking very seriously, as he slid his tongue down your torso, fingers already slipping through your lips, sinking deep into your soft, wet hole.  

You were less keen to join Namjoon and Suri in being overheard so you pressed a pillow to your face and moaned into it, still louder than you’d wanted to be. You bit down hard on your lip as your back arched from the bed. Every time, it was an aria performed like a concerto, Yoongi doing the work of a full orchestra suite at once. It was lethal and moving the ease with which he played you and it was somehow never the same twice. Never had anyone spent as much time with his face between your legs and it showed: he had learnt, with apparent ease, seemingly everything about what got you off: had learnt how to do it in a rush, how to take his time, how to make you squirt (a surprise more to you than him), how to edge you until you wanted to die, how to make you come and somehow keep coming. He had, on one unfortunately memorable occasion, given you a charley horse and a third orgasm simultaneously.  

You were approaching your second now, with sweat seeping into the bedsheets, and Yoongi’s tongue laving at your clit, his fingers rocking inside you. It was suffocating with the pillow smothering you, your hot breath making it damp, your breathing thick and swampy so it made you light-headed. You couldn’t have kept any quieter even if you’d be able to try; all your attention and energy fell on the mouth at the apex of your legs and the fingers inside you. An experience so in-body, it almost pushed you all the way out again, like your consciousness was hovering outside your skin, alert and alive, an electrical wire in a puddle of water.  

You came hard and gasped for breath when you pulled the pillow from your face. Yoongi kissed his way back up to you, sticky marks all over your sweat-wet skin. He was damp, too, tiny curls of hair stuck to his forehead, the T-shirt he slept in stuck to his back. You peeled it back, ran your hands over him, were reaching for the waistband of his boxers when he pulled away.  

“I’ll wash up and then make breakfast, sound good?” he asked, climbing out of bed and reaching for trousers. 

The words died in your mouth. You could see that he was hard, see the discomfort in the way he adjusted himself as he dressed; you wished you could see into his brain. It wasn’t the first time, not even the second or third and you didn’t want to have the same conversation again, with another couple in the house, with company. Knew it wouldn’t get you anywhere if you did. Knew he would not fuck you nor would he give you a real reason why not. You rolled onto your side, away from the door and pulled the covers around you, despite the heat, despite the sweat. You lay and you stewed and you wondered just what exactly you were doing wrong. 

* 

You tried to forget about it and it had been easy until you glanced over to see Namjoon swat Suri’s backside with his book, saw her retaliate by squirting water on him from her bottle, saw him pull her down in a tumble that was entirely playful until she kissed him. You turned away because you’d already heard enough, you didn’t need to see their foreplay.  

* 

“Did you guys buy ice-cream?” Suri asked later that evening. 

“No,” you answered. “Do you want some?” 

Suri nodded. 

“Yeah, there’s a shop down the road; I’ll go and get some. Anyone else want any?” 

“I’ll come, too!” 

Suri looked surprised, her mouth open (to put you off), then she shut it and shrugged. 

“Ok.” 

It was quiet, initially, just the soft rush of wind in the tops of the trees and the slight crunch of the gravel track under your feet. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

The rhythm of Suri’s feet faltered and then started smoothly again. Her answer was slow to arrive. 

“Yeah, I guess.” 

Embarrassment was worming through you, on its way to stifle you, to choke you so the words wouldn’t come out. 

“You and Namjoon have good sex, right?” 

Suri didn’t just falter but stopped completely. She looked at you guardedly, suspicious. You could feel her attempting to put distance between you, even as her feet kept still. 

“Is that... ar-, we’re trying to be quiet,” she answered eventually. 

You laughed not because it was funny but because you were nervous. 

“No, it’s not about that. It's... I mean, you do, right?” 

“Yes.” 

You were stuttering over your next question, not having planned this conversation, not really knowing what you wanted out of it. 

“Don’t you and Yoongi?” Suri asked, beating you to it. 

“We do. Kind of. Yes, but also...” 

Your face was flaming, hot pricks of sweat beading in your scalp at the embarrassment of this, at having to ask someone about your sex life—someone that wasn’t Taehyung anyway—someone who definitely did not want to be having this conversation either. 

“The thing is,” you persevered, “he goes down on me, like a lot. Or not a lot but sometimes, well, often, he...”  

Your fists clenched and unclenched at your sides. 

“He goes down on me and then we don’t have sex and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or why he doesn’t want to fuck me.” 

You let it out in a rush, looking somewhere over Suri’s left shoulder because you couldn’t bear to look at her directly, to see her face reacting. She was quiet for a moment or two and you stewed, boiling in your self-consciousness, steaming with shame.  

“Have you asked him?” 

“Yes, of course! He just says he doesn’t want to or ‘it’s ok’ or that I don’t have to reciprocate or that he’s fine. But I'm not fine! I’m clearly shit at sex! And blowjobs because he doesn’t want those either!” 

And it was the embarrassment, mostly, but you felt tears burn in your eyes, felt your bottom lip wobble and as much as you did not want to have this conversation, you certainly didn’t want to cry during it. 

“Does Namjoon ever...” and you couldn’t finish the question because you knew the answer and didn’t want to hear it. 

“Nah, if he’s even the slightest bit turned on, he’s doing something about it. Well, I'm doing something about it, you know what I mean.” 

You cursed softly, tried to kick at the gravel in your flipflops.  

“I just wish he would tell me what I’m doing wrong so I can fix it.” 

Your embarrassment, bright enough to have burnt away now, had left you sad, miserable in fact, that you couldn’t please your boyfriend and he was being too nice to tell you so. Sad because you couldn’t give him what you wanted to, what he gave you. Miserable that you were failing where you wanted to succeed. 

“Do you ask him directly at the time?” 

“Huh?” 

“I mean, look, I’m the last person who should be giving anyone relationship advice of any kind, ok? I really don’t know how to do anything but are you asking him why he doesn’t want to have sex right now, or have you talked about it at a completely unsexy time? Because Namjoon is barely sapient when his dick is hard; his brain is entirely in his crotch.  

“Literally the only thing I have learnt over the last year is that, as horrible as it is, you have to talk about stuff, especially when you don’t want to talk about it. So maybe just talk to him again but- oh, I don’t know! I’m not good at this. But if he’s not given you a proper answer, make him give you one. You should at least know what the problem is, if there even is one, right?” 

You thought about it. Thought about how quickly you let the subject drop, let Yoongi brush you off because you didn’t really want to have the conversation at all, didn’t want to know the answer—or rather you didn’t want to hear Yoongi say it.  

You nodded, thanked her quietly for her help and you walked the rest of the way to the shop in silence. You picked an ice-cream at random and a random one for Yoongi, too, then you walked back. Suri tried to make conversation with you and you were grateful for it, for her. You didn’t know if she liked you, found her impossible to read, and often got the impression that she’d rather be anywhere else, but she was making an effort and it meant something to you. 

* 

“Can I ask you something?” you started timidly as you settled in bed that night. 

“Yeah.” 

You were quiet for a moment and Yoongi frowned, trying to work out what had upset you. You had been quieter than usual all evening and he wondered if Suri had said something to you; you had come back from the shop with two melona ice-creams, which you hated.  

“Am I bad in bed?”  

He blanched. Didn’t really understand the question because you weren't. Not in the slightest. The sex he had with you was as close to perfect as sex could be. He sometimes felt deranged in how much he wanted you, felt dirty for it even, like it somehow besmirched your honour for him to think about you when he touched himself. Like he would contaminate you with his need to have you. It often took all he had in him not to fuck you. 

“What do you mean?” 

Your mouth was pouty and your eyebrows drawn close. You didn’t look angry for which he was grateful, but you were sad and frustrated for which he was not. 

“You go down on me all the time and then we don’t have sex after! You don’t let me reciprocate! I can’t do it better if you don’t tell me what I’m doing wrong in the first place!” 

It was like static was fuzzing up his brain. He knew the words but couldn’t understand them coming out of your mouth. He had thought he was doing the right thing. Giving not taking. Or taking only sometimes, but keeping the balance firmly tipped towards you. You always offered because of course you did: you were wonderful and kind and, for reasons he could rarely fathom, you cared about him.  

“Yoongi!” 

In a tone he almost never heard, genuinely annoyed, if also pleading and anxious.  

He blinked, tried to find an answer. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” 

“Of course you do! It happened this morning! It happens at least half the time! I don’t understand why you don’t want it.” 

And his heart was suddenly hammering because he could see that he had got it wrong but he wasn’t quite sure how. Colour drained from his face because you were upset, really, genuinely upset and it was his fault and if he could have squashed himself like a bug under his own shoe, he would have.  

He tried to see what he had not seen, what he had missed, what maybe he had ignored. Could only see instead the times before, with other partners, when he’d try to initiate and be rebuffed, when he never asked for anything because he knew he wouldn’t get it anyway and, besides, it was ugly to ask, to want, to demand for something someone else didn’t want to give. He had spent so much time and effort learning his partners’ bodies, trying to make up for everything he lacked. He knew he was good at it. Knew it, was sure of it. Wasn’t he? Was it not enough? Was he still missing something? 

“I do,” he said, voice hushed as though it hurt to say. “I do want it.” 

“Then why do you always brush me off?” 

He felt stripped like old paint. Had to look at you, though the embarrassment was excruciating. 

“I didn’t think you really wanted it.” 

And it sounded stupid when he said it out loud, really stupid, but it was the truth. 

“What?!” 

You really needed to hear him say it again. That he didn’t think you wanted it, even though you had explicitly asked. Even though you had sometimes tried, feebly, to insist.  

“I...” 

But he didn’t say it again, looked as though he couldn’t. Looked as desperate as you felt.  

“Why do you think I would ask, I would offer, if I didn’t want to actually do it?” 

“Because you give. You’re... You’re nice to me.” 

“Oh, fuck.” 

And you took a deep breath, tried to blink away the tears, sent them rolling down your cheeks instead.  

“Yoongi, what the fuck?” 

You saw him move, inch away just slightly, and you remembered who you were dealing with. Because he was Yoongi, your Yoongi, and he was warm and soft and sweet and funny and smart and you loved him so much that you forgot sometimes he still hated himself. Saw his denial now not of you but of his own desires. Remembered how long he had spent silently loving you without asking you to so much as hear a confession. Remembered how close you had both come to absolutely nothing at all, his disbelief overpowering his belief and his heart and his hope.  

You could see it from his side. See what he was trying to do, even if it was madness. Even if it was wrong. You could feel him retreat even now, tucking himself back inside his tortoise shell.  

“I’m so-” 

You didn’t let him finish, would not let him apologise. You kissed him, tasted the salt of your own tears between you, leant into him, let your arms wrap around him and pressed your lips to his, to his cheek, to his hairline, to his jaw. 

“Yoongi, I love you.” 

“I know,” he replied, but you weren’t sure if he really did. 

“I’m glad you think I'm such a nice person and everything, but I promise, I’m not offering out of the goodness of my heart. I’m asking because I actually want to. Like, really want to. Like, really enjoy myself and want you to enjoy yourself and want us to both enjoy ourselves together, y’know?” 

He nodded, couldn’t quite hold your gaze.  

“I’m serious. You need to know that I want to fuck you, ok?” 

And you laughed, though you were trying not to, even if it did feel a little ridiculous, having to convince your boyfriend that you wanted to have sex. 

He nodded again. 

“You promise I’m not a bad lay?” 

And you watched his face flick through shock and outrage and a kind of disbelief that become laughter.  

“You are not a bad lay, I promise.” 

“And what about blowjobs?”  

“Also good.”  

“You promise?” 

And you sat yourself in his lap, legs straddling his hips, sinking yourself low, pressing against him. 

“I promise.” 

“What if I say you have to prove it?” 

His head cocked to the side, playful, squinting at you, and you didn’t think that it was over, that he was suddenly convinced now, but with the burden of Being Terrible at Sex lifted off you, you felt not only lighter, but the deep, heavy, familiar drag of desire raise its head. 

“Prove it?” 

You shifted your hips again, deniably but definitely, and put your lips to his ear. 

“Prove that you like it when I suck your cock.” 

His hands gripped you tightly; you felt the bob in his throat when he swallowed as you pressed kisses down his neck and a stirring in his boxers that you sank even lower to press yourself against. 

“I’ll prove it if you prove that you like it when I fuck you.” 

“Deal.” 

* 

You were late up that next morning and Namjoon greeted you both from the back porch. 

“Hey, a little request: could you maybe be louder when you fuck? Suri and I are actually sleeping a little too well.” 

[raointean]

I actually love the idea that Billy and William fused instead of just body-hoping. William would have died if Billy didn't come in and they fused! I love him saying that he has a mom because adoption right 🎉

Yes! The alternative is just too sad for me. As for the adoption thing, it's NOT just this fandom that struggles to understand bio vs. adoptive parents. I'm in the Star Wars fandom and there are SO MANY PEOPLE that refer to Anakin and Padmé as Luke and Leia’s "real" parents. Meanwhile, Owen, Beru, Bail, and Breha are called kidnappers or just ignored entirely (yes, I loved the Obi-Wan show. Why do you ask?)

I think the same problem is sometimes happening in this fandom too. We know Wanda and Vision as characters and we want them to be a happy family. We do NOT know Rebecca and Jeff Kaplan nearly as well, so there's a tendency to want to take the child from the characters we don't know as well and give him to the characters we know, like, and want to be happy.

On a slightly happier note, here's all my headcanons about Billy Kaplan's life (not Billy Maximoff or William Kaplan, but the entity that is both of them)

As William's heart stopped, his soul separated from his body and was on its way to wherever Jewish people go when they die

Billy M's soul, at the same time, was fleeing because it didn't have a body to support it

He found William's body easy enough to get into (because a soul had just left it) and close enough to alive to be fixed

However, William's soul was in between Billy M and the body

Billy M could have gone around and been the only soul in the body, but he was scared, okay?

Poor guy was only a couple days old, alone for the first time ever, and his mom had just kinda killed him and the rest of his family

Long story short, Billy M crashes into William and drags them both into the body

Billy M fixes the body just enough to keep living, but doesn't bother too much about the head injury

Meanwhile, William is stuck to Billy M like silly putty when you have two different colors and, by the time they get to the hospital, the two colors have blended entirely to form a new color

There's no way to differentiate one from the other

Billy Kaplan is born!

Because Billy M didn't fix the head injury, they both have amnesia

Billy K wakes up and it's literally "no thoughts, head empty"

(Except for some lingering sensation of loneliness... like there should be something someone? else there)

But not for long because he soon discovers he can hear other people's thoughts!

Which is really funny because he doesn't know that other people can't hear his thoughts

Poor guy genuinely thinks that humans communicate via telepathy for a solid 24 hours before he gets enough weird looks that he puts two and two together

(His parents are totally aware of this

There's only so many times your kid can answer exactly the thought going through your head without you catching on

Also, this is the Marvel universe!

Shit like this just... happens sometimes

They figure he'll come to them when he's ready, and until then they'll think nice thoughts and be supportive)

Billy K spends a solid four months trying to remember who he was before, stealing memories from his parents' heads, and pretending to recover from the amnesia

(Rebecca and Jeff try so hard not to make him feel like they're just waiting for their old son to come back but...)

Four months in, Billy's at the mall with his mom on some errands and that's where he sees it

Hot Topic

He begs his mom to go in there, and it's the first really normal teenage thing he's done since the car crash so she lets him

For the first time in four months, Billy forgets all about car crashes, and memories, and hospitals, and expectations

All that exists is spiky jewelry, ripped black skinny jeans, and a million of those cheap and hilarious pins

Over time, the family settles into his "new normal" and chalk most of it up to teenage experimentation

In that three year period though, Billy can't shake the feeling that something's still missing

He feels out of place in his body, even with the new aesthetic

(He sees that one tumblr comic about the coocoo bird and cries-- a lot. It's the closest he ever gets to telling his parents about his out-of-place feeling)

He doesn't tell them though

Instead, he digs and digs into the weirdest, darkest, most demented corner of the internet

Reddit

[owlgirl495]

ok, so i know i rarely actually post my own words on here but with the last 911 episode i’ve been wanting to say something.

i’ve been reading a lot of what people have written (and i’ve added my own thoughts in the tags of many posts) but now that i’ve had time to process a little, see what others are saying, and talk to my irl friends about it a little, there’s one thing that i’ve only seen mentioned like once and i wanna talk about some more. more people have probably mentioned this and i just probably haven’t seen it and these thoughts are subject to change and all that but here we go:

it makes me really upset how little of buck and tommy’s relationship we actually got to see. and i know that they can’t focus on a side plot like that for a super long time and that it’s not the bucktommy show but i was actually okay with only getting scraps until the breakup and here’s kind of why.

they’ve been dating for six months. SIX MONTHS. and they seem to know NOTHING about each other. and i truly didn’t get this vibe until the last episode (8x06) and i think that’s why it feels so off for me.

at the end of season 7 they looked like they were really trying to get to know each other both on and off screen, they were talking about important things with each other, and actually trying to have real conversations. and then in season 8 there’s just none of that.

i didn’t think anything of it at first because i figured they just had those conversations off-screen in the FOUR MONTHS we didn’t see. but with 8x06 it truly feels like they didn’t have a single real conversation that we hadn’t seen.

8x06 shows us that they don’t know about each others’ exs at all, buck doesn’t know how tommy views his sexuality, tommy doesn’t know that buck hates basketball, so what exactly have they been talking about outside of the silly goofyness of 911 subplots for six months??

tbh i understand having them break up (i really wanted them to be endgame but i understand if that was never actually the plan) but the way they broke up felt so wrong.

i would’ve even understood if the real reason they had broken up was because after six months they realized that they don’t actually know anything about each other but even so, until 8x06, that was never indicated. they had a couple serious conversations with each other in season 7 and since there were no hints either way, i had assumed those had continued off-screen.

to have a well-liked couple with a decent amount of screen time break up without showing us pretty much any of the actual downfall of the relationship, giving what felt like a shoehorned in reason for the breakup, and only giving us last minute hints at the possible actual reason for the relationship ending feels shitty, if i’m being real.

i know it’s just a fictional show and it’s not that serious but this really hurt. i hate how much i let this get to me but i really let this show get my hopes up. it was my main form of escapism and something that consistently made me happy outside of things in my everyday life that have been stressing me out. i thought i could sink a little further into it after the results of the election but now it’s no longer the same form of comfort for me.

i’ll probably still continue watching the show and i absolutely adore all the people i’ve gotten to interact with (even in my really small way of interacting) through this fandom but 911 does feel a little tainted for me at the moment.

i’m probably missing some stuff here and a lot of this is just rambling but that’s it for now, i hope you are all doing okay and hanging on to whatever you can to make this a little easier <3

[seungsuki]

so there's this professor... - 03 tea with ghosts masterlist

“it wont fit!”

“it will stupid. just let me do it and stop moving!”

“it's too big alvin!”

“am i interrupting..?”

the room fell silent. what was going on? you and alvin had been assigned to clean the classroom, and things were already going a little haywire as you both struggled to refill the ink pens for your math professor. but this? this was a whole new level of awkward.

you glanced over to see a man standing in the doorway, looking a little lost. his charming green eyes sparkled as a small smile played at the corner of his lips- his presence almost reminding you of a main character in a romance manga. were you… seriously crushing on a total stranger?

“lord moriarty?? here at our university??” alvin rubbed his eyes in disbelief.

confused, you turned back to alvin just as he quickly stood up and gave a small bow. before you knew it, he grabbed your arm and tugged you to your feet, gently pushing your head down in an awkward bow of your own.

“no need for the formalities,” the man said, raising a hand in amusement. “i’m rather lost”

“what brings you to our university, lord moriarty?” alvin asked, already pushing you behind him like he was some sort of protective shield.

“i dropped off some snacks for my wife. she’s a professor here, and now i can’t find my way out,” albert flusteredly sighed. 

“i can escort you out, let us first pack up or else professor moriarty will scold us about the mess”, alvin turned around and shooed you back to cleaning 

“professor moriarty..?”, albert repeated 

“professor william james morarity! he’s our mathematics professor! he’s so cool! you should see him teach some-” 

“he knows idiot”, alvin cut you off with a flick on your forehead 

albert turned to you with a raised brow. “and you two are...?”

“i’m [name] [last name], and this is my best friend, alvin leroy!” you quickly introduced

“more like my only friend,” alvin muttered under his breath, distracted by counting some papers.

“oh you both must be the students who gave william a set of chalks? it was very thoughtful of you both”, albert recalled. “he carries around the cloth everywhere” 

“he does?”, you asked, bewildered. you hadn’t known that.

“great.. just great”, alvin groaned, rolling his eyes at your reaction.

“might just be his good luck charm”, albert continued.

your face shaded in red, looked away as silly imaginations ran into your head. your professor kept the gift? it made you feel special, almost like you were the only star in his eyes 

“come on, let’s go,” alvin sighed, slinging your bag over his shoulder.

“i’d love to invite you both for some tea and simple talk,” albert said, his smile widening. “it would make your professor very happy”

“we have to study,” alvin replied, grabbing your hand as he headed for the door.

“oh, but he can help you study,” albert countered, stepping in front of alvin to block his way.

the two men stood there, sizing each other up in a moment of unexpected tension. what was going on? you could almost feel the chill in the air.

you shook off the unease, deciding to speak up. “we’d love to!”

“no, we’re not going-”

“great! after you?” albert said, waving you forward with a smile.

and that was how you ended up standing in front of the moriarty mansion, your jaw practically on the floor. it was massive. alvin, looking at you questionably, sighed heavily before placing his hand under your chin to close your mouth. 

“this place… is huge!” you whispered loudly, eyes wide.

“i have eyes, genius,” alvin muttered. “now stop gawking at everything.”

“i didn’t think professor moriarty would be this rich,” you whispered again, feeling a little self-conscious. “my gift must’ve been pocket change for him.”

“that’s why i told you, it’s a waste of money. we could have gotten our usual rolls for snacks”, alvin grumbled

albert led the way, smiling warmly. “unfortunately, i can’t accompany you further. my wife needs me. let me introduce you to louis- he’ll show you around.”

he gestured toward a blonde man standing nearby. louis was strikingly similar to william, with ruby-red eyes that seemed to lock onto yours the moment they met. he offered a small smile, and you couldn’t help but feel your face flush. did… you just find yourself crushing… again?!

“why can’t you look at me the way you look at them…” alvin muttered under his breath as he pulled you a little closer.

“what did you say?” you asked, confused.

“nothing,” alvin grumbled, flicking your forehead to distract you.

louis cleared his throat. “brother william is upstairs in his office. this way”

as you walked through the house, you had to admit- it was simpler than you expected. maybe it was just your first impression, but it felt a little underwhelming after seeing the mansion’s grand exterior.

alvin, on the other hand, seemed even more pissed off. he just wanted to head home with you, to his mother’s flower shop. you both would have been eating snacks, talking and laughing over the silliest things you can find. then walk behind to the big field and guess the cloud shapes 

but there was no turning back now. louis led you both to the door of william’s office, knocking before stepping inside.

you froze when you saw your professor. he was sitting at his desk, papers scattered around him as he meticulously marked assignments. he looked up with a warm smile, clearly surprised to see you both.

“leroy? [last name]? what a pleasant surprise,” william speaks. “please, come in”

“professor!” you exclaimed, skipping in eagerly.

“wait for me. i’m not your babysitter- carry your own bag!,” alvin groaned, trailing behind you.

you sat across from william, and alvin placed both of your bags beside him before sitting down on a nearby chair. william put aside some papers to give you both his full attention.

“what brings you here?” william asked.

“lord moriarty insisted we come,” alvin answered before you could. “trust me, i’d rather be doing something fun.”

william chuckled softly at that, clearly amused. you took the opportunity to recount the whole story, leaving out no detail. william listened attentively, nodding along as you spoke. his eyes were focused on you, and you couldn’t help but notice how intently he was looking at you. was he really listening to every word, or was he just being polite?

you suddenly grew self-conscious, your words stumbling as you realized how much attention he was giving you. you could feel your cheeks burning up. why did your professor have to be so charming? you almost let out a dreamy sigh just thinking of him 

alvin, sitting quietly beside you, watched everything unfold. a strange feeling began to stir in his chest. on one hand, he was happy to see you interacting with someone you liked- someone who seemed to appreciate you.

on the other hand, he starts to feel a heavy tug in his heart. he didn't like how nauseous he was suddenly feeling. what was so special about professor moriarty? yeah he was rather good looking, knowledgeable, respectful- but isn’t he the same?

“you’re gonna drive him mad from all that talking” 

alvin cuts you off, looking william in the eye. he moves his hand, allowing his fingers to brush the edge of your chair. then with light force, he pulls your chair closer to his. it wasn’t forceful, you could barely even feel the movement before you realized your chair was beside him.  

you looked up at alvin, his hand resting lightly on your chair, his fingers tapping rhythmically on the wood. his eyes were fixed on your professor, but the look had changed. it was no longer just curiosity. it was something more… almost threatening? 

you shake off that thought, it sounded stupid. why would alvin want to threaten your professor? william watched the entire thing unfold, seemingly amused by the action. he tilts his head, his calculating ruby eyes figuring out what alvin really wanted 

“anyway,” alvin continues. “since we’re already here, i’ll have some orange juice, and [name] can get some tea. oh! and some of those fancy cookies- the ones from lord moriarty’s collection you know?”

silence, before william lets out a small chuckle, nodding to his student. maybe you were over analysing the situation after all. it was rather funny, watching alvin list off the things he wanted to eat while william was hearing him out 

“oh and the answers to our homework- thanks prof”

TAGLIST

@eliasorchard @ayaswrld @iris-arcadia @onna-musha-mari

© seungsuki 2024-25 -- do not repost, translate, alter, etc on any platform without permission. Any characters used in my work do not belong to me, they are created by their original creator. all images are from pinterest.

[thestrangepoet]

The Furrcinating Adventures of Champion, the Archives Cat | The Magnus Archives Fanfiction | Ch 4/?

Based on @ultramarinaa’s Cat!Martin AU 

CONTENT WARNINGS: None

DISCLAIMER: As per usual, this is an unedited first draft that I haven’t proofread. Forgive any typos and roughness around the edges – I tend not to go back over fanfics, as they’re just a bit of fun writing for me. (I am a full-time professional writer, and if I start telling myself I need to edit and proofread my fanfics, it’ll cease being fun for me.)

← Previous Chapter | Next Chapter →

──── •✧• ────

Martin – no, Champion, for that was who he was now – crept through the institute, his ears flat against his head. 

How long had he been technically missing for now? At least a week, if not more. And no one had notified the police. Not Jon, not Tim, not Sasha. Not his own mother, despite the fact Martin would call her almost daily to check in on her. Not his neighbours nor his…well. He didn’t have any friends outside the institute. 

He didn’t have any friends inside the institute either, it seemed. 

Champion padded past the grand oak reception desk in the front lobby. Almost immediately, his paws left the ground, which drew a purr of surprise from him, his little blue eyes growing wide.

“Oh, Champion! You came to visit me, did you?” 

Rosie, Elias’ assistant, gathered Champion into her arms, her thin, angular face all smiles and framed with bouncing red curls. Everyone’s face was all smiles when Champion arrived. Champion, who did nothing at all to actually help the institute. He couldn’t read properly like this. He couldn’t research, staying up all hours of the night to finish reports. He couldn’t go investigate leads across the country, nor pitch theories for statements. He couldn’t even make a cup of tea like this. 

Martin could do all those things. And not once had he been given a genuine smile in return, not a single sparkle in someone’s eye to say they were actually happy to see him. But as Champion? 

All he had to do was walk on by. 

The first few days, that attention had overjoyed Martin. All he’d ever wanted. But now, it stung, jabbing him in the chest and reminding him that all this fuss wasn’t for him. Not really. 

That people liked him better as a useless cat than a man who tried too hard and apologised for existing. 

“Oh dear, little guy, why the sad ears?” Rosie continued, sitting down and depositing Champion onto the immaculate desk in front of her. “Was Jonathan a meanie to you? Do you want Rosie to accidentally misplace his expenses form this month?” She scratched behind Champion’s ear with a perfectly manicured nail, but he couldn’t even muster a false purr in response. 

Everyone liked him better as a cat. Hell, maybe he was better at being a cat? 

Maybe he should just…stay a cat. Let Martin Blackwood become just another missing person, lost behind a veil of barely asked questions. 

Something stirred under his skin at that thought, like a cold fog rippling through his blood, sending all his fur on end. Champion jolted in shock; all too easily, he had forgotten what he wrestled with here. Sure, being turned into a cat sounded silly enough, but the architect of all this had been a Leitner book. 

Something fed upon his lonely thoughts, caring not for the jovial packaging they came in. 

Champion, now dealing with an alarming amount of adrenaline, leapt from Rosie’s desk and scampered away. He dashed through the corridors, paw pads skidding on the hardwood flooring, his tiny heart hammering away. 

Something fed upon his lonely thoughts…

He practically slid across the Research Department, not stopping even when one of the researchers reached for a bag of cat treats. 

Something fed upon his lonely thoughts! What if it could see him or hear him or—

He bounded through the austere, silent library, not sure what he was running from or if anything was even truly chasing him. But instinct tore through his limbs, too aware now of the sense of some unspeakable shadow prowling after him and delighting in his isolation. 

When the panic finally subsided, Champion had to take a moment to look around the room he’d bolted into. The room loomed around him, gloomy save for one desk light working hard to chase it all away. 

His desk light. 

Champion padded through the archival assistants’ office, wandering past Tim’s empty desk and Sasha’s neglected chair. Was Tim at the station, weaving a story as to why they hadn’t reported their colleague missing sooner? Was Sasha in Elias’ office, distracting him from the whole affair? 

He hopped up onto his old chair at his own desk. He hadn’t been here since the day he’d read that damned book in the first place. Jon’s office took the place of his regular workspace, either curled up on Jon’s lap or snoozing under the radiator. 

Being a cat, admittedly, had been a lot more comfortable than being Martin Blackwood. The temptation to remain like this had, he realised, not been entirely out of spite and anger of the others not being too fussed about Martin’s disappearance. 

It had come from Martin’s own disregard for Martin’s disappearance. Like this, he couldn’t annoy people. He didn’t have to worry about messing up conversations or making a fool of himself. He could stay away from people in that way, yet reap all the benefits of getting affection and having his company be greeted with a smile. 

But…he also couldn’t offer Jon a cup of tea and get to see that momentary lessening of his scowl, the only time his frown eased up in the office. The silly little bloom of pride Martin got at being able to coax that out of him with a nice cup of tea – a silent victory, proof he’d done something right.

He couldn’t sneak out five minutes early for lunch with Tim on a Thursday, because they both loved Thursday special at the German kebab shop three blocks away and wanted to avoid the lunch rush queues.

He couldn’t buy a lemon and poppyseed muffin on a Monday to drop off at Rosie’s desk before she got in, earning him first dibs when she baked her amazing Malteser brownies during charity bake sales at work. She pretended she didn’t know Martin brought her breakfast every Monday, when he knew she ran late for work because she had to drop her father off at the physio, but somehow, a hearty slice of brownie would be wrapped in a napkin in the fridge with his name on it all the same. 

He couldn’t go to the little tea room five minutes from his house every Saturday and Wednesday, order the same cup of Earl Grey and the same ham-and-cheese toastie, and beam as the owner called him his favourite and most reliable customer.  

Maybe…Maybe Martin Blackwood did get noticed after all. Little nods, little appreciations. Maybe…that was enough? 

The cold retreated from his fluffy legs, though it didn’t fully subside. It loosened its grip on his tiny heart, but it didn’t uncoil. 

He had to completely undo this, Champion – no, Martin decided. He had to find the answer. And the best place to start had to be the book itself. 

Martin jumped down from his chair, flattening himself on the floor to scoot under the bookcase where he had bashed the book out of sight weeks before. 

A few cobwebs…a pen he’d lost months ago…some paper clips…a scrunched up ball of paper that stole all of Martin’s attention for five minutes or more as he bapped it between his paws in delight…but no book. 

Wriggling his way back out from under the furniture, he looked left and right. Where was it? 

Martin headed out of the archival assistants’ office and made his way towards Jon’s. Had Jon returned to the office to retrieve the book? Martin hadn’t noticed him doing so, nor had the book shown up on Jon’s desk lately. Given that desk doubled as one of Martin’s many napping spots, he was sure he would have spotted it if it had. 

Unless…he’d picked it up recently. Tim had just told Jon that there was no sign of Martin at all at his flat. Tim had done something incredibly important in that conversation, Martin realised in horror. 

He’d given Jon a mystery to unravel. He’d sparked his curiosity and given him a challenge – could he find Martin before a professional? 

Oh no. 

Martin scampered into Jon’s office at full speed, miaowing in a vain attempt to yell Jon’s name. But the room was empty. 

Panting, his head whipped this way and that. Where was he? It was 4:12pm – not a time that Jon would take a smoke break he thought no one knew about, nor a time he’d go for a tea or try to heavily hint for Martin to make one. He was always at his desk. Where was—

“Mrrrrowww…”

Martin blinked, his ears twitching. That…hadn’t come from him. “Miaow?”

A horrified pause stretched out across the office. And then, that same, low rumble of a miaow, sorrowful and irritated. 

“Mrrrrrooooowwww…”

Plucking up his courage, Martin followed the sound, his fur already sticking up on end. He tip-toed around the leg of Jon’s desk, already suspecting what had happened, yet praying it hadn’t.

There, beside Jon’s chair, was The Ninth Life, open on the last few pages. And on top of the book was the saddest, skinniest, scabbiest-looking black cat that Martin had ever seen in his life. Flecks of grey mottled his fur, which was missing in great clumps all over. Most of his right ear was missing, leaving a ragged edge in its wake. His eyes were far too big for his head, a brilliant green that somehow didn’t compliment his black fur. Worst of all, the cat was sitting with its hind legs in front of it, as though determined to sit like a person. 

The black cat looked at Martin. 

Martin looked at the black cat. 

It scowled at him. Somehow, despite everything, the cat managed to scowl at him. 

The cat knew who he was, Martin realised. He knew he was Martin. 

…Jon? Is that you? Martin wondered, pacing slowly over to the scabby cat. He just wanted to get close enough to sniff him, to confirm that this was Jon and—

Bap! 

A paw plonked down squarely on Martin’s head, followed by a warning hiss. 

Bap! Bap bap bap! 

Yes, Martin realised, as he lay down on his front and tried to cover the top of his head with his own paws to shield himself. 

The scruffy cat before him was definitely Jonathan Sims.

──── •✧• ────

[xobrendann]

pictures and prejudice.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

warnings: homophobia, use of "fairy".

synopsis: you and jj were cuddled up at the boneyard, hanging out with the pogues by a fire. kie snaps a picture of them, and sends it to jj for him to post. the reactions were positive, but rafe and topper did not like it very much.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

the boneyard was alive with the usual friday night energy – bonfires dotting the beach like earthbound stars, music drifting from various speakers, and the constant sound of waves providing nature's bassline. you sat between jj's legs in the sand, leaning back against his chest while his chin rested on your shoulder.

"smile!" kiara called out, holding up her phone. the flash went off, capturing the moment – jj pressing a kiss to your cheek while you laughed, your nose scrunched up in that way that made jj's heart skip.

"send that to me," jj said, already reaching for his own phone. "that's definitely going on instagram."

they'd been taking pictures all night, drunk on happiness and the simple joy of being together. jj kept pulling you close for selfies, making silly faces or stealing kisses that your friends documented with fond eye-rolls and teasing comments.

"you guys are worse than john b and sarah," pope complained good-naturedly, throwing a handful of sand their way.

"impossible," sarah countered, but she was smiling as she watched jj arrange his phone for another photo, positioning it so the setting sun created a perfect backdrop.

"perfect," jj murmured, looking at the picture he'd just taken. the orange sky painted everything in warm tones, and your (e/c) looked almost golden. you were kissing in the photo, soft and sweet, with your hands cupped around jj's face and jj's fingers tangled in your (h/c, hair texture) hair.

"let me see," you leaned over, then blushed at the image. "awh, jj.. that's so cute."

"hell yeah it is," jj was already adding filters, his tongue poking out in concentration. "this is going up right now."

"you sure?" you asked quietly. you guys hadn't exactly been hiding your relationship, but you hadn't been advertising it on social media either.

jj paused, looking at you seriously. "i'm sure. unless... unless you don't want me to?"

you answered by kissing him, soft and sure. "post it."

so he did, adding a simple caption: "lucky doesn't even begin to cover it. 🤍" and tagging you.

the likes started rolling in immediately – mostly their friends and others who'd known about them for weeks now. the comments were full of heart emojis and supportive messages, making you smile as you read them over jj's shoulder.

sarahcameron: "look at how cute they are. 💞"

kiecarrera: "so much for a soft launch."

but then, later, the tone changed.

"what the fuck is this gay shit, maybank?" rafe's comment appeared, followed quickly by topper's: "always knew you were a fairy. guess trash attracts trash."

you felt jj tense against you, saw his jaw clench. before either of them could respond, more comments flooded in as jj kept refreshing:

"guess we know why you were always staring in the locker room 🤮"

"what happened to being a player? did you run out of girls to disappoint?"

"better watch your back at school monday."

"hey," john b noticed their expressions and moved closer. "what's wrong?"

wordlessly, jj handed over his phone. john b's face darkened as he read, and soon the whole group was huddled around, reading the increasingly nasty comments.

"block them," kiara said firmly. "report the comments. don't let them get to you."

"i'm not ashamed," jj's voice was tight with anger. "i won't take it down."

"no one's saying you should," sarah assured him, already on her own phone reporting the harassment. "but maybe we should head home. it's getting late anyway."

they packed up their things, the earlier joy of the evening somewhat dampened. jj held your hand the whole walk back, his grip almost too tight, like he was afraid you might disappear.

the next morning dawned bright and clear, but there was tension in the air. you and jj were supposed to meet everyone at the wreck for breakfast, and jk insisted on picking you up rather than meeting there.

"i don't want you walking alone," he said when you questioned it.

you were halfway to the wreck when you guys spotted them – rafe and topper, along with a couple other kooks, leaning against their expensive cars in the parking lot.

"well, well," rafe pushed off his car as they approached. "the lovebirds decided to show their faces."

"move," jj's voice was low, dangerous. he positioned himself slightly in front of you.

"or what?" topper stepped forward, sneering. "you gonna kiss me too?"

"back off," you surprised yourself by speaking up, even though your heart was racing. "you're really this bothered by a photo?"

"we're bothered by you two flaunting your... whatever this is," rafe gestured between them dismissively. "this isn't that kind of island."

"what kind of island is it then?" john b's voice cut through the tension. he appeared behind rafe, pope and kiara flanking him. "because last i checked, it was our island too."

the arrival of reinforcements changed the dynamic. rafe and topper might have been willing to take on you and jj, but the whole Pogue crew was a different story.

"this isn't over," rafe warned, as he was already backing toward his car.

"actually , it is," sarah stepped out from behind a building, her phone clearly recording. "unless you want this little interaction going viral. i'm sure dad would love to see you harassing people on camera, rafe."

the other kooks retreated, engines revving as they peeled out of the parking lot. as soon as they were gone, your legs gave out. jj caught you, pulling you close.

"i've got you," jj murmured against your hair. "i've got you, (n/n).."

"i'm sorry," you whispered. "maybe we should have waited to post that picture..."

"no," jj pulled back, cupping your face in his hands. "listen to me. i'm not sorry. i'm proud to be with you. i'm proud of us. they don't get to take that away."

"he's right," kiara stepped forward, wrapping them both in a hug that quickly turned into a group embrace as the others joined in.

later, at the wreck, you posted another picture – all of you guys crowded into a booth, you and jj in the middle, surrounded by your chosen family. the caption read: "love wins. deal with it. 🌊"

the comments this time were overwhelmingly positive, drowning out any negativity with waves of support.

under the table, jj squeezed your hand. "see? for every asshole, there's ten good people."

"when did you get so wise?" you teased, bumping your shoulders together.

"must be your influence," jj grinned, then leaned in to kiss you, right there in the wreck, not caring who saw.

because love was love, and theirs was worth fighting for.

the end !!

hope u guys liked this 😣

[skekilla]

this looks spooky but please guys i promise this is good news

in summary, caine's found a silly little way to briefly crash their headsets by overloading them... hes keeping up his end of the deal ! and its a tiny bit spooky.

anyway after the break is a short little fic going into more detail on that :P

No one really met up in the big room anymore. Mostly, since Caine had… since everything went wrong, everyone just hung around their rooms now, unless there was an adventure. Pomni hadn’t been in the Circus very long in the grand scheme of things, but she didn’t need to for it to be obvious why: the two people who had the energy to get that going, Jax and Ragatha, weren’t up for it. Jax wasn’t himself anymore—in fact, it felt weird even calling the copy Caine made ‘Jax.’ That thing wasn’t Jax, even if both had been NPCs all along. Everyone felt weird because of it, including Ragatha. She wasn’t herself either, though luckily, not in the same way as him. Pomni didn’t know what she’d do if that was the case. No, this was something fixable. At least, something comfort-able. Ragatha had been there for her all the way so far. She had to try to repay that.

Teapots were an easy enough thing to model, but putting liquid inside had been a pain. Pomni had figured it out for Ragatha though. She balanced the tea tray—a pretty harsh burden with the teapot, two cups, and some flowers all together—with one hand and knocked with the other. “Ragatha? It’s me.”

She was watching the doorknob, but it didn’t turn. Her gaze flicked up to the face on the door, staring into Ragatha’s kind and easy smile. When did she last see Ragatha smile like that? Not at the corn maze, not at that stupid uncanny world she’d made. Not since that disaster, which at the end of the day was Pomni’s own fault. Worry creased her mind. Maybe she didn’t want to see her. That might make sense. But… 

She knocked again. “Rags? Are… I just want to make sure you’re feeling okay. I have tea!”

This time, the doorknob did turn. Pomni’s eyes flew up to meet Ragatha’s, which was being rubbed sleepily. “Pomni! Sorry, I just slept in. What—”

All it took for everything to disappear was a blink. The hallway, the tray, the door, Ragatha and her voice, the checkerboard floor beneath Pomni’s feet—everything was replaced in an instant with the luminous and flitting blue of the out-of-map space. Pomni screamed.

Another scream echoed hers. “Pomni! You startled me.”

Whirling around, Caine’s blue and green eyeballs stared out at her from behind his white teeth. “W-wh- startled you?! You didn’t even tell me you were bringing me here!”

“Nevermind. I forgive you, my dear. We have more important things to talk about! And don’t worry, it’s something designed especially to make you and the others very, very happy!” The AI clasped his hands as he leaned in closer. “I’ve made some significant progress on what we agreed on.”

Between the shock of the teleportation, the speed of Caine’s speech, and the general confusion, Pomni didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. “What?”

Caine zapped a duo of chairs into existence. He was already sitting in one when they appeared. “You’re going to want to sit down for this. Go on.”

Pomni groaned. “I’m fine standing. Floating. What?”

Caine crossed his legs at the knees. “When I made you my moderator, we agreed on two things: you would help me make things actually fun for everyone, and I would try to find you all an exit. Right?”

That wasn’t exactly how Pomni remembered it. “Right, I guess…?”

“Well, I have found that exit!”

Pomni’s eyes widened. “W-wait- really? There’s an exit?!”

“Yes! An exit. Maybe not the exit, but a very, very brief little one! Still, it’s progress!”

“Oh.” Pomni’s face fell. “So… not a way out.”

Caine laughed his sharp, mechanical laugh. “No no no. But it is a momentary exit created by overloading and crashing your client! You don’t even fully leave the Circus, just glitch within it. No, getting you actually out would probably be impossible. Even for me!” 

Pomni blinked, fiddling with the button at her neck subconsciously. “You… never mentioned that.”

“Oh Pomni, that’s because it’s only probably impossible. I am trying, don’t you worry. We have an agreement, after all! Besides, I’ll do anything to keep my little hermit crabs happy.” Caine clasped his gloved hands together, the chairs whirling away into nothingness as he stood. “Ah! Speaking of trying things, would you like to be the next test subject for this exit?”

‘Test subject’ was a real weighted thing to be, especially given the situation Pomni had already gotten into with the whole headset thing. Instinctively she flinched back. “U-um, is that safe…?” Her eyes narrowed. “Wait, next test subject?”

“Why of course! I couldn’t very well come up with something like this without testing it. The poor abstracted fellows in the basement worked perfectly for that. It even glitched them back to normal for a few seconds! Just a few seconds, though. Anyway,” Caine finally paused in his ramblings, reaching a finger out towards Pomni’s face. “May I?”

Pomni stared at the finger in her face, so close it was making her go cross-eyed and see it double—once from one side, once from the other. On one side was fear, fear of what it would do to her to have this existence crash in on her brain so hard it would shock her out of it for just a couple seconds. On the other, the hope of what such a thing could mean, what such a thing could become. Was it really even a choice? When one could be death and the other could lead to freedom for everyone—herself, Ragatha, all the others—one side clearly outweighed the risks of the other. She didn’t even speak. She just gave a small nod.

“Boop!” Caine’s finger rested upon the spot where a nose should be on Pomni’s face. Pomni didn’t feel it. She didn’t see it either. She saw a thousand 3D-modelled cages spinning at once, copying one after the other like a bouncing string of error messages. She heard a barrage of every noise anything in the Circus had ever made: dings, crashes, alerts, metal grinding, glass breaking, bells jingling or clanging, all the tracks of a keyboard drum kit, brakes screeching,  pianos, birds, voices. She felt a pounding reverberating through her entire body, from her appendages into her limbs through her neck into her skull and back outward. And then it was blue. And then it was black. There was no sound anymore—at least, not until she realized she could hear breathing. Her own breathing. 

But then something faded into the blackness: ‘C&A.’ And within a second, she was back in.

Caine was looking at Pomni inquisitively, but she didn’t really see him. Pomni was hearing her own breathing again—but simulated now. It felt impossible to focus on anything she was seeing, hearing, or feeling besides that for the moment.

“Well?” Caine prompted. “How was that?”

The AI before Pomni came into focus. “I… it…”

“Speechless! Wonderful. I’ll keep working on it. Oh, but please keep it a secret for the time being. This is top secret moderator business, and it’s definitely a work in progress! Best not to ruin the surprise. Great chat! Now, back to work!”

Pomni fell as she teleported back to where she’d been, collapsing out of the floating state she’d been in onto Ragatha’s door and to the checkerboard beneath. The impact was loud, so it wasn’t unexpected that Ragatha came out to see what had happened. “Oh my gosh, Pomni!” By the time Pomni turned to look at her, she was kneeling beside her. “What happened? I mean, you were just here then- did Caine do something to you? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Ragatha stared hard, worried, into Pomni’s eyes. “Well… what happened, then?”

Pomni looked down. “Nothing. Don’t worry.”

[floret-affini-research]

RESEARCH LOG 018

RESEARCHER M. Arum

AUDIO FILE DETECTED, LOADING TRANSCRIPT...

"Aaand bam! That's how you get the recorder active on this thing."

"Woaaaa, that's so cool! How'd you even get this thingy? It seems really old."

"Back on the vessel I was joining for a short time, there was a collection of older technology, pieces that were considered too broken or obsolete for anything other than scrap. I was able to put this one back together, so they let me keep it for this research project."

"Oooooo, so you're really pretty and hot and smart and good with your hands?~"

"S-stop trying to fluster me like that. In any case, it will be beneficial for you to keep all this information in mind. It may be needed if I am to become ill again."

"Hehehehehe, I wouldn't exactly say you got ill, just really really happy~"

"Ugh, please do not remind me."

"You mean about how you were really really loud and kept asking Mistress to say that magic word to make you feel all good and tingly? What was it again?~"

"I swear Marianna, if you were not the only company I can have at the moment I would tell you to leave my presence."

"Hehehehehe, I know you don't really mean that, otherwise you'd be all huffy instead of all red and silly."

"Th-that is besides the point. In any case, I am going to end the recording. Terminate au-"

"Oh oh! Can I say it this time?"

"Huh? I guess so, yeah"

"Hehehe, ok ok, but first~"

"Huh-!"

...

"Y-y-y-y-ou can't just kiss me like that outta nowhere! Ugh, now I've got saliva all over my chin."

"Hehehehe, but it's so much fun, isn't it? Especially since Mistress gave me a special little biomod for kisses~"

"Wh-what are you... talking... about..?"

"Mayyyybe just a little bit of a cocktail of your favorites~"

"Because you trust me far too much~"

"D-dammit Marianna... how did I let my guard dow-"

...

"St-stars, that is... strong... how'd I let my... guard down so much for you?"

"C-clearly I do indeed."

"Hehehe, want me to say your favorite word?~ I know the urge is burning inside you by now~"

"F-frost... I-I can't... focus... too cloudy"

"Don't you just want to let go?~ Don't you just want me to say it?~"

"I... swear I'm... gonna get you back... for this..."

...

"Y-you keep... making my head fuzzyyy"

"...unmake m-me... please... I don't want to... think anymore~"

"Well, you'll only get to have revenge after, so you may as well submit for now~ So, beg for it~"

...

"Hehehehe, such a good doll~ Now then...

FALL

Oh roots your so cute like this~ Just completely at my mercy to do with as I please~ But I know someone who'll love to see it even more~ Oh Mistress!~"

Yes my darling little Floret? Oh! It appears that you two are greatly enjoying each other's company~

"We really are Mistress, but I think this dolly is feeling kinda shy~ Can you give her a voice? I really really would love it~"

Oh my, a truly splendid idea my darling, it would be wonderful to hear this doll sing~

"I'm a good doll, I do as I'm told. I don't need to think. I want to be played with."

"Hehehehe, seems like she's enjoy this a looot~"

Oh very much so~ Would you like for me to let you play with your doll all on your own for now?~

"Yes please Mistress, I wanna see what fun new things I can make her do like this~"

Very well then, but if you over do it, then I may have to have two cute dolls on my mantle~

"Y-yes Mistress, I'll make sure to be careful, I promise!"

Very good, have fun my sweet little things~

"Hehehe, you hear that? I get to have all kinds of fun with you alllll to myself~ So, what does this cute dolly want me to do?~"

"Use me however you see fit. Dolls don't think. Dolls cannot choose. I'm a good doll."

"You really are the greatest dolly~ But I don't think I want you knowing just what I'll do with you~ Terminate audio recording~"

[karlachismylife]

Soap for the character ask game plz :)

Do I really need a reason to yap about him? Nah, but I'll take it, thanks :)

If anyone else is interested, I'll be glad to talk about someone else from COD and BG3. The game itself is here if someone wants to reblog!

So. John "Soap" MacTavish.

favorite thing about them

Is "everything" a good enough answer? No? Damn. I guess I'll have to go with his passion. I can tie that to his ADHD, I can tie that to the fact that he's sunshine (and sun burns hot and flares), it doesn't matter - his emotions are bright, run hot, he's impulsive and he feels so strong. I relate to that, I also just like everything bright and flashy. His anger, his loyalty, his sense of justice, his love - they are so big and strong they cannot be contained inside his heart no matter how huge it is. This is what makes him dangerous, this is what makes him vulnerable, this is what makes him so fucking lovable to me.

least favorite thing about them

The fact that he prefers coffee over tea (source: his VA). I'm sorry, I can't stand coffee, my throat literally closes up and stops breathing if I enter some coffee-smelling space and it's not something I can control well (I tried, I swear). So the knowledge that living with Soap would involve the apartment reeking of the forbidden drink, and even worse, kissing him might taste like coffee... it's heartbreaking. I'm training that man to drink tea whether he likes it or not, coffee doesn't do anything for ADHDers anyway.

favorite line

I mean. I feel like using any of Ghoap batner here would be cheating cuz it is very much the best thing ever and also they're bouncing off each other. So I'll go with "Kids, guns and balloons. That's a new one."

It's at the start in Las Almas. I love listening to Soap in general, I love all the Scott-isms he has (even though it seems actual Scottish didn't appreciate those too much), I obviously love the funny lines he has or when he gets angry. But this one just stuck with me. Probably not because it's a Soap line, but because it's a sad line in general (and hits a little too close to home in the current situation).

But also I feel like it's kinda. The fact that I, a 22yo civilian am not actually surprised to see that "kids, guns and balloons" situation (although I am so fortunate to not be witnessing that directly), and Soap, a 26 (I think?) yo SAS Sergeant who ran off to enlist at 15-16 is. It says something about how he views the world, doesn't it? He lacks that cynicism. I've seen people say that veiwing him as a "happy go lucky" guy is incorrect, but I dunno, man. I think if someone who kills people for his job is surprised to see kids involved into crime+politics games, then he's a pretty damn optimistic lad that believes in the good in the world.

brOTP

Soap and Alejandro. There's just something so smooth, straightforward and inherently good about just two men coming to fight for what's right. Also nothing is funnier than Soap's constant cultural shock in Las Almas and Alejandro just chuckling at every silly question Johnny asks. Big brother Alejandro go go go!

OTP

Karlach x Soap for life, everything else is secondary.

nOTP

I reject the concept of nOTP, even the least likely/adhering to my tastes ships are at least interesting to explore. However, I am not a big fan of toxic relationships and such, so something like Soap x Makarov or Soap x Graves would be interesting to look at, but probably upsetting.

random headcanon

He likes the pink Orbit bubblegum, the one that comes in little stripes. His dad used to bring those at the end of the work week, sometimes unopened, sometimes with just a couple pieces left, and Soap stashed them away in his pillow case when he had the willpower not to eat them all at once. His old pillow in his childhood bedroom still smells like bubblegum.

absolutely based on my own life

unpopular opinion

I don't know what's popular to say what's unpopular. But maybe the fact that I think that Soap isn't like a total horndog 24/7? I still think he is pretty horny, more than an average person, but I also think that he's more tactile than anything and that even when he gets a random boner or just is hot and bothered, he can be satisfied with non-sexual touch. But he does not respond well to touch starvation, oh no.

song i associate with them

I am so bad at assosiating songs with characters/ships etc :( I'll be boring and repeat myself for the third time: Ren's "Loco"

favorite picture of them

That comission of him and Karlach I got, duh

But if we're talking ingame, nothing beats him being pretty and doing puppy eyes in that Milena interrogation scene. That hand reaching scene alone has me by the throat.

Thank you for asking about him!! Love youu <3

[fl00mie]

honestamente, no sé

to prevent confusions i'm giving credits of every fankid in order (starting with the tall one)

layden (fresh x ink fankid) by @/sugary-alienn dot (cross x ink fankid) by @/yo-honne abstract (reaper x ink fankid) by CATA-824 on wattpad gradient (error x ink fankid) by @/askcomboclub paper jam (error x ink fankid) by @/7goodangel palette (dream x ink fankid) by @/angeutblogo blueprint (swap x ink fankid) by @/pepper-mint aiden (zack x ink fankid) by ariscastleart

[sysig]

Gift (Patreon)

[boinky-doinky]

can you please draw the Winnie the Pooh meeting Alex Kralie

Thank you

Alex Kralie meeting Winnie the Pooh