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#and i know that that bitch didnt fucking love me
cthulhum · 14 hours
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ure boring. ure boring YOU ARE SO BORING. COLORLESS FLAVORLESS DULL. DULL. DULL NIGHTS. DULL WEEKS DULL MONTHS. DULL AS FUCK. suffocation by the worlds softest beigest pillow. the 10 hours i spent with that boy were more exciting more fascinating than DECADES WITH U. oh there it is the half blank half apocalyptic look. but what does it mean tonight huh ? does he wanna lick my boots ? orr chop my hands off ? is it the gremlin or the good nurse tonight ? okay. okay perhaps but am i as boring as blather commited onto the ferric tapes of ur FASCINATING BOY? oh its so so hard to be me. PICKING LINT OFF THE SOFA ??! everyone i know wrongs me. okay okay lets wake the boy up and lets try u. im the vampire armand and my daddy vampire groomed me into a LITTLE BITCH. my brother he tossed himself off the roof. my sister she buried me alive. my daughter was my sister was my throw pillow well he wouldnt look at me kindly. lestat lestat lestatlestat lestat LESTAT LESTAT lestat Lestat lestat lestat LESTAT lestat lestat lestat i talked shit about him the whole time so what THE NAME!!! THE NAME!! UNUTTERED IN OUR HOME FOR 23 YEARS SAID OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL IT WAS POUNDING IN MY BRAIN LIKE A HAMMER. our problems arent about him. AND U THREW HER NAME AROUND JUST FOR COVER BUT IT ALWAYS CIRCLED BACK TO HIM. i loved her. BUT SHE DIDNT LOVE U. NOT LIKE HE DID. NOT LIKE I HAVE. i know. i KNOW.
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stareiiez · 2 days
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𝑳𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝑴𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆 --- four
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simon ( ghost ) riley x female reader.
content : dark?? ghost. fingering. orgasming. voyeurism. modern settings. mentions of stalking. gore. death. gun violence. graphic descriptions of gore. torture. obsession. drinking. sex. female genitals. unhealthy attachments. violence. blood. implied death. blood. smut in later chapters. dark topics. this is just my version of haunting adeline but for ghost. adult cis female reader. MDNI. 3.8k words. proof read to the best of my tired eyes.
note: another late night update <3 if you're triggered by death/ torture pls don't read! if you do, don't say i didnt warn you! as always, reblogs, comments, and notes are loved and appreciated!!!!
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To say soundproofing a basement was a blessing for Simon was a blessing is a severe understatement. Without it, the patrons who were upstairs drinking and being merry in crude ways would be able to hear the gut-wrenching screams and manly grunts over the pain-filled noises that were caused by several weapons of torture and destruction. His favorite had been the cheese grater. A little corny, sure, but god did it do the job to make a man piss himself like a little bitch when it was dragged up the valley of his tender throat. The meaty thwack of blunt force meeting wet skin echoes in the darkened basement. Musty air and traces of liquor tingle upon a twice-broken nose. Bloody knuckles wreak havoc upon the blistered and fileted skin of poor Graves. It's been like this for nearly an hour, the need for releasing pent-up steam and broiling over anger made Simon pull out the big guns and turn the pretty boy into nothing but a bloody sack of crying meat.
Graves was unrecognizable. Both of his once beautiful blue eyes, that you stared at so dreamy-like, were swollen shut. Puffy and purple turning with threats of black eyes and bloodshot irises. Cigarette burns, stab wounds, cuts, and barely forming bruises were littering the bare upper body of the poor suffering sap Simon was torturing half to death. Kidnapping and planned manslaughter were not in his plans tonight, far from it. His plans were innocent. He wanted to watch you and your nightly routine, memorize your little rituals before bed. He wanted to see what you would look like when you were dreaming so peacefully under his watchful eyes that would be at your bedside. He wanted to know what your sheets smelled like, felt like under his rough palms, and get the first touch of pure warmth that radiated off your little body while it was oblivious to his touch.
Now Graves just had to come over on the night Simon planned to. How unfortunate. Truly. If he was any better mate he would apologize for every scream and plea that tumbled out of that broken jaw that once purred into your ear in front of Simon's eyes. It didn't have to be like this, but he had a point to make. He tells himself this when his broad back turns, grabbing at an already stained towel painted red with thick ruby ichor. You were his girl. His pretty baby should be fingered by him and him only. This was only an example for every other son of a bitch you decided that was better to fuck than Simon Riley himself.
"She never even told me she had a boyfriend." cried Graves when he was still pure and fresh-skinned. His eyes flicked down to the dull butcher knife that Simon had been tossing up and down lazily; brown eyes watching the frustration and unease that crept on the other man's face underneath the bleached bone mask of his. "Wouldn't even have thought to touch her, unless she wanted it, and she did want it." Wrong set of words. Yikes.
Rusted metal meets the muscle of Graves' right thigh in one effortless swing of Simon, buried to the hilt. Dark cherry starts to bubble around the plastic handle. Strong metal and even stronger cries of the pretty boy. His head throws back with a growl and a colorful string of curses. Not a very Southern gentlemanly thing of him to do. Very different from the southern hospitality Graves was giving you before Simon got his hands on him. Overly whitened teeth bare out between a grimace and snarl given to the brit. All bark and very little bite. Cute. He'd have fun with this. He always had fun with this type of work, it's why his group always gave him the nitty gritty bloody work. Their hands would be a little cleaner than his, and he could enjoy watching even the toughest get unnerved when they caught the sick glint in Simon's eyes when he brought out new ' toys ' to try out.
Now Graves was on the receiving end of that sick look. Emotionless eyes but smiling lips that peeled a bit too wide under the suffocating balaclava that covered his head and mouth. Bottomless dark pools of his irises reflected the mess of carved-away fatty tissue and the sharp ends of broken bones stretching past the elasticity of human skin. A dead man's masterpiece. Picasso eat your fucking heart out.
The saving grace was the end of a smoking barrel that pressed to Grave's forehead. Hot iron and metal singed away at damp baby hairs and smoothed away the wrinkles of distraught so cruelly. Simon was growing bored of this torture now, he was wasting too much time here messing with a man who had one foot in the grave and the other trying to wedge itself in the doorway of life. He had to make a call and see if his pretty girl was distraught enough for a comforting hand or two to reel her into the snare of his adoration.
"Have we learned our lesson for the evenin' then, mate?" Simon's dark timber of a voice growled into the stale air. The end of his gun prodded at glistening skin for an answer almost immediately. He doesn't have all night.
Grave's jaws couldn't click together enough to help form the bleeding nub of a tongue to form a coherent enough answer to please him. That tongue was cut off with a clean swipe of Simon's blade when Graves still had his energy and was making threats about getting out of there and getting his men to show the Brit how torture worked; then maybe he'd celebrate by fucking 'his' girl all in memorium for his tries. Shame that tongue had to go, he preferred the curses and slew of half-baked 'go to hell's ' Graves let bolster out in the first thirty minutes down here.
He'll settle for a silent answer then. Broken bones popped socket arms and kneecaps would just have to be an affirmative' yes sir ' to Simon. If Dead men can't come crawling back out of their half-dug graves to come to eat some pussy; then mangled ruined bodies of desperate mutts of men can fuck to save their fading souls from descending into the depths of hell.
Thumb cocking back the hammer of his sidearm, pointer finger pressing a little bit too eagerly. The kickback of gunpowder and fire didn't make Simon miss the satisfying spray of pink brain matter, hot blood, and tiny pieces of flying skull shrapnel painting the grungey floor behind Graves.
A mess of gory artistry the man behind the painting would just have to miss being cleaned up and taken out back to be thrown away in a dumpster where all other trash goes to rot away in a marked landfill. The gun of his was tossed next to Grave's bound cooling corpse. He'll get an earful about doing this during working hours of the bar, but he would be damned if he didn't get to release his demons onto Graves before it was too late and his anger chilled to a icy tundra in his chest.
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Another cup of coffee, perhaps your fourth of the night cools in your palms again. The caffeine does little to soothe the growing migraine that pounds behind your eye sockets with every microsecond your patience wanes into threads. Angry hornets fester inside your skull, and a jack rabbit's heart inside your chest. Your night is taking years off your life, you can feel it with every monotonous droning of the same questions one of the cops repeats every ten minutes or so. It feels like you're getting nowhere, running on a hamster wheel that'll lead to nowhere and you getting winded in the process. The police make you feel stupid. The moment two cop cars arrived at your residence to investigate the lack of evidence they found from your supposed potential serial killer. They condescended and ridiculed every detail you gave them till your face ran blue and the air in your lungs was nearly gone.
The bloody handprint that was smeared on the greenhouse's wall was already washed away; more than likely absorbed into the greedy grass like a man sucking down water after being in the desert for months. Other than the scratched ' S ' on your porch step there was little to believe you and your cracked-out story. They thought you called just for attention, just to waste gas that was paid for too high taxes. It's been like this for two hours now, repetitive questions and police pulling only yours and Graves' prints off your things and his abandoned truck that was sitting in your drive. Their idiotic conclusion? He was simply lost in the ever-expansive woods. Lost among the shrubbery and shadows, a victim to the unusually cruel predatory gazes of wildlife that watched his every move; ready to strike him down and feast like royalty till their bellies almost popped.
"What did the sheriff make the call on for tonight?"
The cop, who had been interrogating you, turned to address another policeman who was examining your small living room with boredom written all over his young features.
Before the way too young-looking man could answer, an older British voice called out "Why don't you ask 'im yourself, deputy?" The smell of strong cigar smoke suddenly started to assault your senses.
An older gentleman, with ashy brown hair and a thick jungle of facial hair, strode into your home. One of his hands supported the straps of his bulletproof vest, the other held the burning cigar that stunk up the small interior of your home in a matter of seconds. A plume of smoke exhaled out of his nostrils when his beady eyes swept over your kitchenette till they landed on your inquisitive expression. He pressed his cigar to his full lips for another inhale as if he had all the time in the world to stink up your home and trigger your body to sneeze at such an offending smell. "Sorry, sir. " The deputy uttered apologetically, eyes dropping low in embarrassment he was intimidated by such a commanding presence of his superior.
With another exhale of thick grey smoke that makes your nose wrinkle the sheriff approaches you. His right hand extended out for you to shake while he introduced himself to you as if his last name wasn't sewn so neatly into the black fabric of his uniform. "Officer, or sheriff John Price. I don't think we've met." His glove was rough against your skin, but his grasp was gentle while he shook your hand. His free hand plucked the cigar from his lips, teeth leaving bite marks over the damp end he had been sucking on. " Boys couldn't find anything here, miss except for disturbed gravel and prints from the wet grass out back. We can't pull anything significant off those marks, unfortunately. Could have just been a bad attempt of some break-in just to scare a young woman and her guy friend."
Your eyebrows creased, hand slipping out his light hold quickly. Angry hornets in your skull turned into a full-on battalion of those large Asian wasps that had excellent memory. They were banging around against hard bone, buzzing so loud and pissed that they threatened to burst out of your ears and sting every single cop here. Especially Price, they'd sting him right on his stupid gruff face. "But whoever was here, didn't steal anything they just left --"
"The flower behind, yes. The lads at the lab will run it to see if there's any DNA on the stem or even petals. Any clothing fibers or hair strands will be alerted to us right away, but there's nothing we can do. You know how rowdy teens these days are, they'd do anything to scare the grown adults into a heart attack for fun." Price quipped, finishing your sentence.
Your eyes rolled, frustration growing rampant like a disease over your face. An infection that Sherriff Price wasn't so susceptible to being a victim of. One bushy brow rose at your childish irritation from the denial he and his men had rubbed into your face time and time again. "Rowdy teens just don't make a grown-ass man disappear without a trace. Rowdy teens aren't capable of breaking cleanly into my home and not stealing anything of value." Your voice raised, brows pitching up and causing frown lines to crack along your smooth features.
"And rowdy teens don't scare the fuck out of me and make me want to look over my shoulder from now on after tonight. There's someone out there who is taunting me, and I want him or she or them to leave me alone." You're standing by this point. Chair kicked out behind you, your hands slammed down onto your table. Hot black caffeine spills over the dark marble of your dining room table. You're glaring daggers into the older man's eyes and he gobbles it all up without even a reaction to your worked-up outburst. He's not afraid of little girls screaming and trying to embarrass him, he's dealt with all of this before. Not this scenario, but high and haughty women who thought they were number one.
Price blinks, takes a step back silently, and turns his head to address another policeman loitering around; unsure what to do. "Have one of the guys do a stake out for twenty-four hours around her home, if anything is outta place you call me right away." Then he turns his gaze back to you, smiles that forced smile one makes when they're uncomfortable. Eyes crinkled with a lack of warmth that only manages to irk you further than comfort you. Temporary support does little to quell the ball of a bundle of nerves that is your nervous system right now.
"Have a good night, miss." Price dismisses himself. That awful cigar of his shoved back into his mouth and steps back out the front door. His men follow that were lingering inside your space, all except for the deputy that had been interrogating you. That's supposed to be your rough and rugged surveillance system for the next twenty-four hours until you can justify scraping enough money aside to get your surveillance just for this place.
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Price exhales a continuous cloud of smokey grey into the night air. His head tipped back enough to trace out a few major constellations in the sky with curiosity, all while the other two cop cars that were parked out front drove off nonchalantly.
Bright teeth, stained slightly yellow from tobacco clamp further into the cigar's end while he fishes out of his many pockets a cell phone. Pretty outdated, the screen is cracked and the little processor moves at a snail's pace. A real piece of shit technology that holds a few private numbers that aren't saved under any typical name.
His gloved thumb jams against the screen a few times on one of those particular contacts and he holds the cell to his ear whilst unlocking the driver's side of his car and climbing inside. Cigar stamped out into the ever-growing ashes of his ashtray, he taps his fingers against the steering wheel in wait. The line rings once, twice, and on the third ring the call is picked up and a deeper British voice answers in a grunt of a ' hello ' to Price.
"You've got one hell of a firecracker there, Riley." Price cracks out, tone joking. "You've worked the little bird up into a tizzy, she seemed ready to jump 'cross the table for me."
The other voice only gives out a scoff, a monotone 'really?' . Price can only picture the hint of a cruel smile curling on the ends of Simon's lips now. "Boys' are none the wiser, I'll tell 'em it was just a bad prank gone wrong. The station will be none the wiser. Poor blokes." He chuffs. The engine of his car starts, and he reverses out of the drive. The silhouettes of his deputy and you awkwardly standing in your living room window bring another good-humored huff out of his ash-riddled lungs. "Don't make me bury your girl under missing person reports if you're too rough with 'er." Price mutters low over the line. Simon only scoffs on the receiving end, like he'd never hurt his precious girl. He'd be damned if you were taken from him by his own hands.
"Jus' keep an eye on her when I can't. " His voice rumbles like thunder in Price's ear, then hangs up the call with a sullen click.
Price sighs, tossing the backup cell in his passenger seat. His dark eyes focus on the lonely road back into the city. His radio in the car is buzzing with life of officer chatter, but he's not paying much attention. He's got to figure out how to stuff this darker piece of work underneath a rug without leaving wrinkles of his involvement behind. The old man was never one for the double life. A charming foreigner passed for a white-collared American who was there for the people at every righteous beck and call of his name. Then a grimy soldier for the kind of men that worked on setting the bastards that cops or other forces of power were too busy or pussy to end the right way; with a bullet in the head and their name smeared in blood as a warning for other bastards to behave or else.
A kind of work he did far before the ' never do no wrong' persona of his was adopted onto him. Now juggling both for one of his boys? Someone that he even dared to be considered as close as family to him? What had he gotten himself into, all for the sake of some weird iteration of what Simon called infatuation and obsession for a pretty little thing he only saw for one night and wouldn't stop planning on when to see her next. Price wanted to call him crazy when Simon opened his mouth and asked if he could do him a favor. Lie. Lie and cover his white English ass as much as he could just till Simon could convince his new obsession to think about him in the same way he thought about her. Convincing was putting it lightly, but Price didn't second guess or even ask. He knew what it was like when the parasitic love bug decided to rear its ugly head and bite you clear on the ass when it wanted to. Back when he was a younger man, back in his prime he had a sweetie. Soft and curvy, supple and sweet under his lips and to his heart. A fond memory he likes to include when he thinks about family from time to time. Something of his past he's left behind for a new rendition of a family that was strong men, sweat, blood, near-death experiences, and bonding over strong liquor after their work.
Anything for them, he supposes while he turns the car towards the station for the biggest sack of shit he could regurgitate out of his aging vocal cords and lets it spill in sticky white lies to doe-eyed men and women who wouldn't think twice to clean record Sheriff John Price.
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"If you need anything, here's a walkie. Can't give out personal cells to citizens, but I'll be in range for us to talk." Deputy Dipshit tells you when the loud slam of car doors and the starting of engines signal the squad's retreat along with the Sheriff's.
You frown down at the cold chunk of plastic that was pressed into your smooth palm by the male. You feel immature even to be using this thing. But you don't argue, or say how stupid it is not just to use cell phones for this one dire situation. You accept the stupid walkie with little dignity that was now washed away by telling the police what exactly you and Graves were doing before he was attacked and taken away.
The walkie is tossed onto your neatly made mattress, weariness makes your eyes droop and your hands rub at your face. At least you're alone now, your crappy watchdog is settled inside his vehicle, protected by his sidearm and tazer. Your feet blindly patter against the dark cherry oak of your bedroom floor a ragged breath of exhaustion leaks out of your lungs like a deflating balloon. You pray to whatever gods or goddesses up there in the cosmos, watching over every single little thing with sadistic eyes, that they are protecting Graves. You could never stomach the fact that somehow you managed to get him killed for even touching you or being in your presence. You're not that special or even have that much power to illicit someone to commit manslaughter just because they were jealous or overprotective.
That's something from a fucked up dark romance novel that has mentally ill women squirting over the tall morally grey character that would do anything for their love interest.
Your phone screen buzzes from your bedside table, the obnoxious vibrations and chirpy ringtone of ' Kim Possibles ' phone ringtone blares into the short-lived silence and the even shorter prayer you were making for a man you barely even knew.
" Give me a break!" you groan out between clenched teeth that temporarily bore in a snarl to your lit-up screen. You shouldn't act like that, what if it was your friends reaching out to check in on you? They knew Graves was coming over to visit you and to ' catch up ' in more ways than one, maybe this was them poking their noses into your business and wondering how good Graves managed to fuck you silly five ways from Sunday. If only.
Another deflated-like balloon sigh and you snatch up your phone to see who texted you. Yet as much as you would kill for the spam of messages that would spew from Izzy and Veronica about how well-endowed and lickable Graves was in all his glory, it was far from their girlish text messages. An unknown number glared up at you. The notification on your locked phone screen, which was a picture of you and your childhood dog in your old home smiling at the camera, showed that the random number had texted you.
"Guess the police actually can text you, who knew." You mumbled under your breath, your tone still acidic on your tongue while you unlocked your phone and tapped on your message app to open the chat and read the text without even hesitating to check over the number thoroughly.
"Hello there, pretty girl." the text read.
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mudmushrooms · 6 months
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for every we're so fucking back is a equal and opposite its so fucking over
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toytulini · 1 year
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listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.
yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?
maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".
get a better joke
#toy txt post#god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones#let it flop..........pls#internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop#i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having#1 million bajillion disclaimers#virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word#disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word#grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used#to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023#and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like#im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild#i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good'#like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you#but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches'#'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay#god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil#but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful#and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like#hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine#and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr#and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like#and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay#its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat#? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty?#you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right#stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny#whatever#if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll#i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.
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amaranthdahlia · 4 months
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god i will never stop fawning over how absolutely SPECTACULAR afo vs bakugou was. genuinely one of the best fights in the entire manga in terms of art, the themes, the pararells, the gayness, the fight itself, and just. everything about it makes me wanna scream into my pillow and chew on it
#MIND YOU this was the fight that made me interested in afos character#ugh like i shouldve known bakugou was gonna take on afo ... like i knew him and izuku were gonna take on shigafo#cus of the whole win to save save to win thing#and its perfect for shigafo cus yk!#but i didnt know tomura manage to break free out of afos grasp early on#(which srry tomura for not having faith lol)#but yeah pitting bakugou against the guy was fucking amazing#like theres so much layers to it#like first off making bakugou(and izuku) fulfill the save to win thing by rescuing all might from afo#like how all might did in the kamino arc with bkg but this time bkg didnt'end' all might he was the one who saved him#AND THE FACT THIS WAS FILMED TOO JUST LIKE BEFORE#BAKUGOU WOULD NOT BE KNOW AS THE ONE THAT ENDED ALL MIGHT BUT THE ONE THAT SAVED HIM#AND FUCKK bakugou and afo.......amazing foils seriously#boys with gifted powers but one grew up with almost nothing and the other grew up with love#they both turned out shitty but only one of them actually changed for the better#afo in a way is like bakugou past self. hes fighting on what he couldve been if he let his ego take hold on his mind#and no bakugou did not solely defeat afo himself . and god my boy is so grown he KNOWs if it werent for everyone elses effort#he wouldnt be able to take this bitch down#bakugou i love you so so much#you are such an excellent character fuckkkk#and afo...... well you see what happened to him. fitting end to someone who thought highly of himself#died in a pathetic subpar way. fighting an injured teenage boy lmao#OH AND SAID TEENAGE BOY THAT LOOKS LIKE HIS OLD NEMESIS LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO#ive said this before but bakugou is afos karmic incarnation#i CANNOTTTT wait for volume 40 to drop. possible dawn of quirks era content afo character page (please) and yoichi/kudou colored by hori?#bakugou katsuki#mha all for one#mha manga spoilers#OH AND bakugou telling afo to shut the fuck up!?!?!?!?!?!?!? AND PROCEEDS TO BEAT HIS ASS IN 3 DOUBLE SPREADS????? MY FUCKING GOAT.#dahlia.txt
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nejackdaw · 8 months
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Me @ Wulbren after the way he talked to my man Barcus in Last Light
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h-doodles · 7 months
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truly not sorry but once again thinking abt miranda/mc/mia in RL. i need them SO bad. like, 2 of the most morally unsound persons (Mia & Miranda) + their little meow meow. Knowing both are so possessive and destructive (TO OTHERS) when they love and instead of running, fully embracing the chaos of it. Loving them despite their delusions of grandeur, the crimes, the secrets, and the deaths (+ undeaths) caused (or ordered!) by their hands. Acknowledging this is fucked up but you can't help it. Lovingly bitching abt their fights but fully done and gone to do anything else but to soothe and continue loving them, because after all those years of waiting and doing and redoing everything to be perfect was worth it for this.
also did i mention being their little meow meow. sorry Miranda, MC was the original gremlin in the relationship and Mia being the fucked up feral racoon she is now is not solely by her doing, MC was and IS the enabler in both relationships that it bled over sm and OUGHJJJJJHHHHhhhh im being so emo abt three (3) women being utter menaces frfr
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sualne · 3 months
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hii! honeslty just curious, I read/watched kuroshitsuji AGES ago and I don't think I've finished the manga anyway, does grell go by she/her?? I vageuly remember ppl headcanonning them as enby though iirc in canon he's a guy?
Your tags peaked my curiosity, I haven't seen any Kuro content in a hot minute, but I remember it being the absolute must watch in my peak anime watching years lol And I absolutely loved the manga's artstyle
in canon grell is a trans woman, yana toboso has said something like "grell is a man with a woman's heart" ages ago and sometimes around 2014/16 had tweeted something about wanting to be more careful with her representation of people like grell in the future, don't quote me on that thought because i only read that tweet once and only remember reading a shitty screenshot of a translation of that interview where she allegedly said that.
i can however show you this:
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it's from a bonus chapter (after chapter 108) about the popularity polls (it's a very convoluted non canon chapter) but it's one of the most blatant example of her being trans.
there's also the way she constantly refers to herself as a "young maiden" ect. idk how it goes exactly in the og but in french they translated it so grell always refers to herself with feminine terms while everyone else misgender her including the narrator. she very consistently reaffirm herself as a woman through every single ones of her appearances, like it's a thing she very much does, every single time she's on screen.
i haven't watched the anime in forever (cause it's kind of a disgrace and insult to the manga lol) but if i remember properly (which i mostly likely don't) they did omit/lowkey censor some of grell explicitly going "i wish i had been born a woman/could have been able to carry children" when she first properly introduce herself as a shinigami & the other half of jack the killer. (the anime also really did lean a lot more into the pervert queer caricature whereas in the manga she's given a bit more dignity, especially the further the story goes. though that might be my own impression and maybe it didn't change that much i just love her a whole lot).
also because i have to, please forget the anime (the first two seasons that is) and read the manga first and foremost because oh boy, what a disaster the anime is (nostlagia and atmosphere wise it's entertaining, i really love the op & ed, but it just, i just cant man it doesn't even compare to the manga at all). only watch book of circus -> book of murder -> campania movie -> the new private school arc that's coming soon (idk what they called it) after reading the manga.
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chotachica · 8 months
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How the fuck did I learn how to efficiently help my partner through his autistic meltdowns thanks to a vashwood fanfic .what
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storywestistrash · 1 year
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lowkey hate seeing people say "oh michael fans never talk about the fact that he did bad things" because 1. its literally not true and 2. for the kind of fan that i am its like. when you tell your friends or family or partner or whoever that you love them, do you say it like "i love and care about you deeply but i also recognize that youre a flawed individual whos made mistakes in their life and that youre not actually a good person. i am telling you this so you know that i realize how complex of a person you are and that i respect it" DO YOU HAVE STUPID??
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the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.
he never was.
#ramblings#incoherent beyond belief its 4 am#and im trying to avoid manga spoilers#might add a reblog with more coherent thoughts when i wake up but im off my meds so i cant promise anything#actually correction im being vague w the manga spoilers#manga readers know whats up#idk if there are any anime only ppl who havent been spoiled on The Plottwist Ever yet#but i figured there will be new fans and though im not tagging this it might still get seen so#cant WAIT to see our boy absolutely miserable in animation form should they recreate that arc LMAOOO#which ofc is after the germany arc so thats still a long time away#but STILL. itd be fun i need to see this young teenager lose his mind in color with sound#him relying on sebastian to do all his fag duties (sorry. dredge) so he can work his way up the social ladder#trying to gain power while simultaneously proving that he cant do anything but rely on others#hes always needed help in basically every way and he hasnt CHANGED he just got a demon to do it for him#he learns to lie and charm and cheat and all the while hes a fucking CHILD WHO STILL STRUGGLES WITH NORMAL THINGS#ciel is my little baby and i love him deeply no matter how much of a little bitch he can be#his helplessness isnt just 'oh he was raised in british high society' its also that he never got the chance to learn anything#which to elaborate on that id also have to go into manga territory. iykyk#like absolutely at this point he just refuses to learn how to do things he has a pet demon to do it for him#but.#hi the phantomhives backstory is killing me again its so late#both atlantic and the school arc are just setup for the Big Arc but theyre very good in their own right i SWEAR#also when i rewatched the circus arc a while back and i realised how some scenes were shot#the heavy foreshadowing that i didnt realise. yk. 7 years ago or however long its been since i first watched it#CRAZY#if you are new. to kuroshitsuji. and you havent read the manga. dear god. read the manga#ALSO GRELLE IN THAT ARC IS SO BEAUTIFUL & OTHELLO IS TRANSMASCULINE. OKAY GOODBYE
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musubiki · 3 months
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how was playing hsr? was there anything that you liked in the game and the story?
ITS BEEN AMAZING AS EXPECTED!!!!!!!!! i actually havent played genshin in a while since starting it, i have no motivation to do the filler event while a perfectly good star rail is sitting there waiting to be played :')
but for mechanics, i love they have auto battle so you dont have to nessecarily sit there and invest in every little battle you gotta do....and i love that the resin (resin??) system is a lot more forgiving with a higher cap, lower cost, and allow for overflow...thats nice...i also love that the mc and starter units are very useful. im so emotionally attatched to the star rail crew so im glad they never have to leave my team !!!!
storywise im LOVING IT SO FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i started playing it at the beginning of spring break 2 weeks ago and im almost all caught up!!! i went through belabog and penacony and now im just doing those leftover intermission main quests which im only now realizing i shouldve done before going to penacony LMAO
and of course.....danmarch....im so soft for them......and also i love sampo i cant wait to see what they do with him
#besides the star rail crew and sampo im not too attatched to anyone else#im very much a (what would happen in canon) type of player so the only units i REALLY want are himeko welt and imbibitor lunae#(and sampo)#everyone else i can go without#so this game is probably gonna be a lot better for my wallet#overall it just like it better than genshin minus the open world part#i like the story and characters...i like that you can play as bad guys while theyre still bad guys???? like blade and kafka???#cuz in genshin you always gotta redeem them somehow first before theyre playable#not here hueheuhe#also i love that they actually kill off playable characters#(spoilers from here on out)#i know were supposed to be all sad for fireflys death but honestly.......i didnt care about her too much LMAO#i was actually a little annoyed for the secret base part because her base was SO FUCKING DEEP IN ENEMY TERRITORY#i was like (damn bitch how far away is this shit??!)#that by the time we got to the emotional part i was just mad#i never liked characters where the game tries to like....force you to care about them#and its implied you have some super close relationship ESPECIALLY when you havent known them long#now if march died that would be a whole different story#but firefly??? i mean rip but i didnt really know her#im loving the penacony quest so far though#any setting where its like a place of mind tricks and gambling and spending money and sin is always so scary to me#especially the dream within a dream within a dream shit#the mind fuck aspect is always a good plot that i enjoy#i also love that theyre not afraid to upgrade units#like we have dan heng and the dragon dan heng#so characters arnt stagnent forever#everyday i hope we one day get to see a 5-star secret power march#cuz that girl has some shit going on i swear#i just did her luofu memory quest#and those fuckers in the garden of recollection............
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widevibratobitch · 8 months
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so i am singing that vitellia in the end... but at what fucking cost.
'you gotta sing this softer'
'what'
'this is mozart'
'this is vitellia'
'this is mozart'
'im singing about how much i hate this mf and want him dead before the end of the day'
'this is mozart'
'i wanna murder a guy'
'this is mozart'
'...'
'softer. gentle. mozart'
'...ok'
#they're killing me here#i already bargained for ONE (1) note in chest (thank you so so much that i am ALLOWED to sing an A3 in chest voice <333) and now THIS#THIS is why people hate mozart. fuck you.#i recorded that rehearsal and the first version sounds SO MUCH BETTER. after i did what she asked me to do its just. so fucking boring.#i hate it here#i love this duet so much but frfr im not sure i wanna do it if i have to do it on their terms.#also like sorry to be a bitch but you're a pianist girl. just stick to your stuff and let me take care of mine.#just because you're playing this like you're constipated because tHiS iS mOzArT doesnt mean the rest of us dont care either.#its possible i never will get the chance to sing the entire vitellia so i want to do justice. as much as im able. to this one chance i get#it took me A Long While to deal with the fact that i wont be able to bark that 'indegno' and 'regno' like i always envisioned.#but like. ok. whatever. i can still make it Entertaining. THIS however. no. no fucking way.#and its not even about me being a big-headed know-it-all who thinks she's better than everyone because. lol and lmao clearly im Not#but this is about having a fucking SOUL. its about actually taking the libretto into consideration too. its about trying to figure out#WHY mozart wrote it the way he did. like sorry but this is another fiordiligi case where its CLEAR that the amplitudes the crazy jumps#are there FOR A REASON. the reason is HE WANTED A CONTRAST. some fucking EMOTION. he sure as hell didnt want it to be Soft And Gentle.#i know it because i talked to him and he told me im right about everything as always and you can eat shit girl bye#grrrrrrrr im so angry#i knos i sound so arrogant here but please. please i just want to make this music fun and enjoyable. i just dont want it to be boring#please understand my vision im begging you
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agent37 · 2 years
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and, for your first day of the delighted month, november, iz halowneene!! yuor vfavorite novmeber holiday1!!!
1/30(?)
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bunnyb34r · 8 months
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Trying to undo the damage of Facebook w/o risking your relationship with a loved one is like defusing a fucking bomb sometimes I stg
#marquilla#i had a whole thing typed out ab this but ugh#im trying to explain to my mom that no they are not fighting to let children have sex changes. the only sex change sugery they preform on#minors are the fucked up shit they do to intersex kids at birth#that hormone therapy would be the only 'trans treatment' a minor could get and no it will not be w/o parental consent. and that hrt is#reversible.#id love to try to deradicalize the rest of my family but im sorry those motherfuckers are too far gone for me to try and keep my own sanity#like 1 went from far right to libertarian which isnt much better but it's something but im still leery of him ngl#and tra/dwife cousin's husband is full blown far right and i know it's wrong but i dont care enough ab them to want to try#ahdhdgdg i know it's bad but like they can all go to hell idc#and then theres the cousin i dont talk to who is a bible thumping freak who told his sister at her fucking lesbian wedding something#something god doesn't approve or something like that like 😬#and hes in a cult of some kind im sure but i didnt dig deep enough to find out if it's just WS flavored or full on WS shit#but theyre dead to me. i only have my lesbian cousin w/that last name sorry i dont have any [name]s in my family besides her#wouldnt put it past tra/dwife cousin's sister to be in some cult or cult adjacent beliefs honestly#i know shes being abused in some capacity and that her husband is a fucking asshole but shes a bitch so i dont talk to her at all anyway#(not that her being a bitch makes her deserving of that. those statements are two sep things. i feel bad shes being abused. AND separately#shes a bitch and her being a bitch is why i dont talk to her)#ANYWAY I Have a headache so im gonna wash the gunk off and hope i feel better
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thewhizzyhead · 9 months
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okay um so how utterly shocked and/or disappointed would you guys be if I told you that the one thing that has finally convinced me to actually check out Starkid's The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals,,,was a video of the musical's closing number filled with literally all of the musical's spoilers + a plot twist and a breakdown that is clearly meant to be experienced um chronologically for it to have the most impact especially considering that it HEAVILY involves the show's two main characters and that said twist HEAVILY relies upon ummmm yea actually having watched the fucking musical properly first-
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