#and i know it's whatever but i'm seeing my partner in 2 weeks and i just don't wanna have to worry about feeling self conscious :/

[betweenthescarletmoon]

On Mage!Viktor / the Hexcore's Involvement on the Transformation of Jayce

Incoming loooong post to encompass my massive brainrot about jayce. you've been warned <3

This post, written by @xenorat, made me consider how the Hexcore was the main player behind the whole timelines thing. Of course it explains why the world is an exact replica of what our Jayce's future would become and why Mage!Viktor himself doesn't look like the Machine Herald we know.

The OP also explained how the stone Viktor gave (was it due to the Hexcore or Viktor himself?) could've led Jayce to feel this frenzied, feral rage that goes against his own nature. His natural reaction to violence is usually horror, becoming sick, and profound guilt when he's the cause of it.

However!! Because I'm insane, I've been thinking for months about a theory/headcanon on why Jayce is sometimes violent and sometimes he seems to return to himself, which can work directly with the one that xenorat introduced.

And that theory is:

Mage!Viktor fused alternate versions of Jayce because he knew Jayce couldn't possibly fulfill his promise on his own.

TL;DR: Jayce's transition from feral and violent to calm and compassionate is not clear, but Act II and the scene with him and Mel in Act III show how Jayce may not be in complete control of his actions. Instead, as his physical frame glitches and the visions plague him, or in less visually obvious moments, his demeanor changes and flickers, as if our Jayce is switching with another versions of him. I also shamelessly self-plug about my newly posted oneshot that's gonna be part of my sad bookstreet/jayce-centric series.

Needless to say, I never understood Jayce's act iii arc, especially because he went from this:

to this:

in the span of like, a few weeks at most??

Although the writing and pacing of Act 3 leaves much to be desired for Jayce, Act 2 gives us really exciting clues about what could've been the explanation to Jayce's predicament. Its vagueness is fascinating, because the fandom has such different interpretations to it. Is it PTSD? Is it the self-annihilating nature of the Anomaly? Is it the infection of the world that burrowed into his leg, or the one from the stone that's spreading in his arm? Is it a side effect of witnessing the Cosmic Horrors? Or is it because he's fighting himself? Or rather, alternate versions of himself? Seven, to be exact?

As we can see in the gif above, as well as in most of his conversation with Salo, there seem to be various other versions of Jayce that have just been merged.

It is important to note that, in the novel experience of living in one body, or because of the presence of the Anomaly, Jayce experiences these magnetic-like pulls, in which a part of him seems to either separate or pass through.

I'm sure you've noticed the rest of these instances, especially this one:

But this could also be why he looked like this after killing Salo:

And like this after almost killing the child in the Commune:

(credit to @cruelcomfort-deactivated2024120 on this post, sadly i couldnt find the gif so i uploaded it here)

In every instance, it looks like he wavers in differing levels from whatever violence he has, is, or could've committed. With Salo, the horror almost breaks through the rage, but it fails. With the kid, it's like he slowly snaps out of the haze of fury (visually, the strobing effect and vignette fade away, which tells us that his vision is literally clearing); and all that he is left with is just that same horror. But with Viktor, there is simply chaos. Screaming and weeping and a glimpse of one breaking the vow once again (because he looked at Viktor right before he could kill him. oh i am ill).

Who controlled the body to fulfill the vow, I don't know. I'm willing to believe the act of killing his partner was so traumatizing, it was like we were witnessing an Arcane-ified, violent version of a mind dissociating to the point of an identity split. Y'know, like DID, but not exactly.

I frankly think the writers are kinda cowards for not showing us more of this or giving us more hints as to what is actually afflicting him, unless the mystery IS the point. BUT!! There is one more scene in Act III, where Fortiche left us clues about the alternate Jayces (or at least one of them) one last time.

This scene:

Though Jayce is already triggered and distrustful of Mel from the beginning of this scene, it is here where his entire demeanor slowly changes into that agony and pure rage we've seen before. The vision causes him to jerk in pain and start to shake. His grip on the Mercury Hammer grows tighter. But the most interesting detail is the most surreptitious one: his head warps with one or both eyes, perhaps the gaze of another version of himself.

Interestingly, he does not go to harm Mel as I feared on my first watch. Instead, he pushed her away to shoot, almost as if on instinct. As I looked into this 19 sec clip with Mel, I realized that he was angry but stable right before the first vision. Then a sort of struggle began, as if he is genuinely trying to hold himself back, or to push through the visible pain the arcane is putting him through. But every time he is overwhelmed by this pain, or he is falling deeper into that unnatural, feral rage, we see those eyes.

For context:

(Look above the corner of the left brow and you'll find a subtle eye under his bangs. This happens when he sees his first vision in the scene.)

The eyes become more and more obvious as time goes on. Or interestingly, the longer he closes his eyes, the more we can see these other eyes.

(They look bitter and dark, but also exhausted. How long have they been at this? And why only one pair of eyes? Have the others found rest when they fulfilled their promise of killing Viktor? Honestly, we'll never know.)

But then, when the chromatic aberration (that red, green, purple, and blue distortion of reality to show the Arcane's influence on him) intensifies, we see how our Jayce's eyes and this other gaze seem to merge, exactly when Jayce is on the cusp of violence.

This last one is right when he pushes Mel to shoot at Viktor. It is like they almost become one to attack Viktor again.

We don't see any internal war in Jayce in like the rest of the episode, as well as the finale. Which sucks. It was so cool and it got resolved off-screen ig? Where is that much-needed transition between Jayce "my partner died in this room" Talis and this other Jayce "all i want is my partner back" Talis? Who is ours? Or, even more interesting: did they fuse completely? It would explain their stability surely. And this internal healing could also explain his sudden ability to extend compassion and love towards Viktor in a way he couldn't for Mel.

(And don't tell me it's because he didn't love Mel. My man NEEDED to have a scene that portrayed just how badly that apocalyptic isolation messed him up. If anything, his behavior with Mel is TEN TIMES more realistic than his behavior with Viktor in the astral realm. Maybe the astral realm is the key to his change? But still, Jayce is a man who loves at heart. He was pushed to unimaginable suffering and violence that would make even Silco balk, but you can tell he still cares about Mel and Viktor despite this.)

Anyway!!

If you're a bit crazy and obsessed with trauma like me, then perhaps you might be interested in reading the fic series I've got in the works! I decided to post the prologue to contribute to the small but growing Jayce-centric fics, and more importantly to explore this theory through writing.

[heirloommtomatoes]

my hormonal acne is coming back after going off the birth control pill :| 

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[cum-allergy]

..

[quitedisastrous]

life was so much easier three days ago when i was detaching myself from reality and spending all of my free time shiny hunting

[cesium-sheep]

I am literally too tired to enjoy anything and it fucking sucks. like literally every type of Little Treat people give themselves I can't fucking use right now because all I can do is lay on the couch and look pitiful. it is not that high on the list of Fucking Problems but it is definitely not helping because I'm literally unable to take steps to cheer myself up. (other people are also straight incapable of cheering me up. there is nothing that can be done. I just have to fucking Be Sad until I'm physically recovered enough to be less fucking sad.)

[imjustdreamingig]

Isn't that sweet, I guess so

Part 1, Part 2

pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

summary: The secret's out, Steve's proud of himself, and you can't seem to keep your mouth shut

A/N: chat there is no way I put out 2 fic in the past week, this has never happened to me before! yay everyone cheer. again, i have no idea where this story is going how far im gonna go, i def want to try writing other stuff and idk if this is the best place to put and end to whatever this series is but again, we shall see i guess. thank you all so much on the love on my last two works you have no idea what that means to me! please please PLEASE send me asks or comment what you'd like me to write next or if you want a pt4 i need help people

warnings: sfw, swearing, fluff, idiots who like each other

Facing your fears is tough. No matter what it is, no one would actually choose putting themselves through a situation in which they know would cause them extreme distress. For some that may be going on a rollercoaster, interacting with a clown, going into a dark forrest alone, it could even be making a phone call by yourself to schedule a doctor's appointment (which is a valid fear to have, thank you very much.)

And here you were, facing your fears: being sat in your living room with Steve Harrington 3 feet away from you for an extended period of time. It's only been about 15 minutes, where no talking has happened since minute two.

You hope you can get to 30 minutes without fainting.

As you attempted to focus on the book in front of you, Jane Austen's words, who usually kept your focused for hours on end, were not being absorbed by you in the slightest. How could they, when Steve fucking Harrington was in your house.

Steve is the type of guy who Jane Austen would write about, you thought, eyes flickering towards him as he hunched over his book, face crinkled in concentration, trying to understand said author's musings.

The swoop of his hair, the two moles near his neck, his deep, beautiful, chocolate eyes, his gorgeous smile, and my god those arms? Yep, Jane would be absolutely obsessed with him.

"God, why did I agree to do this book?" You are snapped out of your daze at Steve's words. "What do you mean?", you replied. He gave you a look that can only be described as "seriously?"

"I mean, that I can barley understand what any of these characters are saying half the time, and honestly, it's a bit boring. I thought you would have better book recommendations," he said, running a hand through his hair to push it out of his face.

A scoff left your mouth before you could stop it. "Excuse me, are you actually hating on Pride and Prejudice, the best romance story of all time, the romance story, period." You leaned over and snatched his book. "I mean, come on! You are literally only 6 pages in, you can't just judge it that quickly, you haven't even gotten to the good parts yet!", you exclaim.

Steve watched you with an amused look on his face, unbeknownst to you, who kept rambling on, trying to convince Steve this book was worth continuing.

"— and Elizabeth, she is just funny, like actually hilarious. There is one part where she basically tells someone that I'd rather not be wasting my air talking to someone like you, like please, how did she even come up with that? Also, I'm just obsessed with this proper English style of speaking, or writing I guess, because they're basically talking shit but covering it up with fancy words! And when—"

"You talk a lot, don't you?"

You look up from the book and towards Steve, eyes widening slightly, realizing you had indeed been talking too much.

"One of my greatest faults, some may say, and by faults I mean my mom, but she only tells me this when we're arguing, so..." You glance away from Steve's face for a little reprieve. God, he's so hot.

"Well, like a good partner," you continue. "I'm trying to help you get some of this project done, and maybe if Robin were here, she could've helped," you defended yourself, crossing your arms, "which I'm still confused about, by the way. You said something about her telling you earlier how I invited you guys and some other people to work on the project together, but then she doesn't show?"

Steve leans back in his chair, also crossing his arms. You glance down for a quick second and send a quick thank you to anyone who's that Steve is wearing a tight shirt that beautifully enunciates his biceps. Or maybe you should be mad at them, you don't know yet.

"Maybe it's the fact that she noticed, like I did, that it's been a month since this project was assigned and we haven't even started," Steve countered, "which is unlike you, you usually want to get stuff done ASAP."

You look at him in confusion. "How the fuck do you know that?"

Steve smirks, "I also happen to know that you don't have a sister, thanks to that lovely dinner with your mom." You shake your head in disbelief, mentally making a note to yell at your mom later.

"Isn't that what you said one of the many times I asked you to work on the project?" Steve looked so amused with himself, all cocky and proud that he had uncovered your lie. Your brain tried desperately to come up with a realistic enough explanation, but nothing was coming up.

You throw your hands up in defeat. "Ok, fine! I lied! Is it just so hard for you to believe that maybe, just maybe, not everyone in that high school wants to spend time with you outside of it?" Oh my God, why the fuck would you say that, you screamed internally.

Steve stared at you for a second before letting out a chuckle. " You know, I did think of that actually, but only for a bit." He reaches out for the book and grabs it from your grasp, flipping to a random page.

"You can only run away from a guy so many times before he catches a hint," he peers over at you, " and I mean literally, you're a fast runner, did you ever do track?"

"Yeah, in middle school," you answer quickly. Steve lets out a hum of agreement before placing his attention back on the book. You open your mouth, about to quip about being careful to not rip the pages when he speaks again. "I know I'm dumb, but I'm not an idiot, ya know?"

Your gaze snaps to his face. "Steve, I don't think you're dumb." He doesn't look too convinced. "Eh, I think you do. But you're interesting, you took me a lot longer to figure out than the others since girls just typically throw themselves at me."

You make a face of disgust, "Ok, you sound like a total prick, you know."

"Yep, heard it after I said it, but that's not the point here." He point his finger at you, "You have a crush on me."

You splutter out a sound of indignation. "Hello, what?" In your head, fire alarms are sounding. It's a code red, all hell is breaking loose. "Pfft, no I absolutely do not."

Steve raises his eyebrows. "Then how else do you explain the running away when you see me anywhere at school? You always have an insane excuse why we're not able to meet up to start the project, which some are hilarious," he admits, "but you've got me complaining about not doing homework, look what you've done to me!"

At this point you've gone silent, mouth agape with an excuse stuck in your throat refusing to come out. Steve's expression has changed, his eyes bore into yours with earnest, almost as if he's anticipating a certain answer, hoping for it. "So?"

You muster all the courage you have left and just when you're about to respond, Steve interrupts you again for like, the 15th time.

"Anyways, I've to get going, have some things to do and whatever." He gets up, shrugs on his jacket and then places his books in his backpack. You get up too, having absolutely no clue how to tell him not to go, that you want him to stay. "Steve, what do you mean?"

He glances over at you, "Nothing, I just have to go. I'm a busy guy." He starts making his way to your front door, leaving you behind in the kitchen, trying to understand what the fuck just happened. First, he accuses you of having a crush on him, which you do, and then he just thinks he can leave?

Oh, absolutely not.

With a new wave of determination, you catch up to Steve just as he's finishing putting on his shoes. "Say thanks to your mom for me for dinner, it was great," he says as he grabs the door handle. You don't let him continue with whatever stupid thing he was going to say next.

"Listen Harrington, I don't know what the fuck just happened back there, but the fact you think can just, leave after dropping a bomb like that is ridiculous," you say, glaring at him in annoyance, and Steve's just staring back at you with that stupid, stupid, smirk that has not left his face since the moment he stepped foot in here.

"So what if I did like you, huh? What if I did have a crush on you? Because I do, but that, quite frankly, is none of your business, none of your concern, actually, so... yeah." Steve is looking at you and you're looking at him, a little out of breath after your declaration. You don't have the energy right now to fully process what you just said.

All of a sudden, Steve seems to break character, the smugness gone, replaced with subtle endearment. He leans down and presses a swift kiss on your cheek before whispering, "Well, it's a good thing I like you too." He straightness back up and says, "I told you I knew you were different, you're a mystery. You're lucky running away seemed to work on me, by the way. I don't think it would for everyone else," he says while you stare at him in shock. You've been rendered silent once again, with nothing but the thought that Steve likes you back, repeating over and over again.

You clear your throat before speaking, "Well! Um, yay?" You truly have no idea what to do right now. Steve chuckles at your reaction, like he can't believe his words have caused you of all people, who continuously talk and talk and talk, to not have anything profound to say for once. He's kind of into it.

Steve grabs your hand and encases it with the other. "Come over to my house tomorrow after school, I'll drive you. We can work on the project and you know, talk, if you want." You nod fervently, "Yeah, yeah ok."

He smiles and drops your hand. "I really do have to go though, I wasn't making that up," he remarks as he opens the front door. "Oh, sure, that's fine," you reply. You hold open the door for him and watch as he descends the steps and makes his way towards his car. You watch him, holding onto the door for dear life.

As Steve gets into the car, he looks over at you and waves, "I'll see you tomorrow!" You wave back and yell back, "Yeah, tomorrow!" You don't go back inside until the car is out of sight. As you shut the door, you press your back against it, trying to wrap your head around what exactly happened in the last few hours.

Holy shit, you though, Steve Harrington likes me. Steve fucking Harrington. You let out an involuntarily squeal of excitement and immediately regret doing it as your mother calls down from upstairs. "Mija, are you ok? What happened?" Hearing her voice reminds you of her involvement over the events that transpired tonight.

Putting your happiness on hold for a moment, you start to storm up the stairs. "Mom!", you yelled, "How could you embarrass me like that, asking him to stay over for dinner, you know how I feel about him, I just about fainted 5 times throughout the night, how does that make you feel!? You almost killed me an—"

You would thank your mom later, because ultimately she helped, but for now, you'll stick to this.

[afniel]

So today I woke up and promptly remembered that hey, didn't I have jury duty at some point this month...? I went downstairs and checked the summons postcard and sure enough, I did.

Last week!

Now, this isn't me confessing a criminal misdemeanor, because I was excused, actually. Luck was on my side (and so was the Wayback Machine, which is how I had to check). No failure to appear, no foul.

The thing I'm actually proud of is that I didn't freak out about it. See, when you've got a lifetime of internalized ADHD shame, the typical reaction to realizing that You Forgot Something, Again, goes like this:

Panic so much. You're going to be In Trouble. Nothing can possibly be worse than being In Trouble. This is a category 5 emergency.

Self-flagellate as hard as humanly possible. What kind of useless sack of unreliable shit, accidentally mislabeled as a human being, could have fucked this up so badly? This is just like everything else in your life. Nothing you do is ever right no matter how hard you try. What's even the point? You're an eternal fuckup. Might as well just accept it.

Existential crisis spiral until you can't even remember what the real problem is. The problem is just you. The problem has always been you. Why are you like this?

Eat an entire thing of Oreos, or whatever your self-destructive self-soothing behavior of choice is. Do you feel better? Not really. You stopped hyperventilating at least, so it'll have to be close enough.

Actually deal with the real problem, if it's even a problem. It probably wasn't. Now you just feel stupid for getting so worked up about it.

Completely fail to realize that you punishing the hell out of yourself in steps 2-4 is just reinforcing your panic response and making you less capable of coping in the future, because you've had it beaten into your head that forgetting things, a normal and reasonable human error, is Simply Not Acceptable, even if it's ultimately pretty harmless. But hey, if you kick your own ass about it harder than anybody else would or even could, then you've personally made sure you have control over the severity of the punishment, right?

Right?

Does that sound like a trauma response? Well, it should, because it is. Many people with ADHD have this same trauma response, because having a brain that doesn't work like everyone else's in a world that is not just not built to accommodate that, but in fact is built to convince you that this is a personal, moral, and unforgivable failure is actually pretty traumatic.

That's verbatim how I've lived most of my life. Don't ask me how the hell I got this far carrying on like that, because I don't even know. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger gives you a goddamn complex. But I've been working on it over the past I don't even know how many years, and today, my response was more like this:

Oh shit jury duty was a week ago. Well, now I just feel silly.

Uhh...let's figure out the worst possible outcome. Jail time? Seems highly unlikely for a first time misdemeanor. Possibly a fine, but probably a warning.

Let's look up what actually happens to people in my county who miss their jury duty. They get sent a second summons. That's very reasonable and not at all a real problem if it happens.

Let's find out if I was even summoned to appear. If not, it isn't even a problem. Mention it to my partner at this point. They say 'yeah, I forgot I had jury duty once. I looked up whether or not I was summoned on the Wayback Machine. You told me to not worry about it either way because people honestly forget all the time, and it's a fixable problem whatever happens.'

Realize they are right (and that I forgot this happened until they mentioned it because it was such a non-issue), and I should take the advice I give and treat myself like somebody I care about. I reassure myself that it's not a big deal and people do it all the time and nobody's doing to be personally affronted, and a sincere apology goes a very long way even with a cranky judge if it comes to that. I check the Wayback Machine.

I was excused anyway, so no big deal in the end. I now have a funny story to tell, and I'll probably remember better in the future as a result. Realize that even if it had gone worse, it still would have ended up a funny story later. Yeah, even if they inexplicably threw me in jail for a night. That sure would never get old retelling.

Have a shower and get on with my day.

Gold star for me, I completely didn't even realize that I was de-catastrophizing so well until after the fact. Like I've got it down to a reflex now. I am legitimately just a much calmer person than I used to be. Feels pretty alright! I could get used to this not kicking the absolute mental health out of myself every time something goes slightly wrong. Highly recommend being nice to yourself actually, 10/10 experience.

Anyway that's me tooting my own horn. I feel very emotionally stable and pretty good about that fact. It's been a fucking journey.

[snarkspawn]

Me patiently waiting for commissions to open so I can get Lucanis kissing my Rook against a wall 🫠😍

Hehehe yES PLEASE!! let me draw more rookanis* smooches I'm so here for that

(* other companions can come too)

On that note though, I don't really know when I'll be able to open them again :( I was tentatively aiming at mid to late November, which ... kind of came and went so fast I didn't even notice. And that means I only have 2 more (busy) weeks before I leave to spend the holidays/new year's with my partner again and won't be able to draw, so I'm debating whether or not I should open them now and try to get as many done as I can (if any) before then, or wait until the new year so i can take my time 😩 decisions decisions......

Anyway, whatever I decide you'll see it here first :'D

[bengals-barnesbabe]

Picture Day

Tee Higgins x Chase!Reader

Desc: You start getting antsy 5 weeks postpartum and find something to do with your hands.

TW: nothing too bad, mostly fluff.

Princess Ti | Main Masterlist

WC: about 1k

＊✿❀ *. ꕥ * · ❀✿＊

The buzz from your clippers fed your creative soul. You had only come in the salon to reminisce and take some time to yourself while your baby girl naps. You couldn't help but miss the chatter of clientele and the smell of coconut oil usually in the air. The pristine white counters in front of each station were completely bare, only each counter’s handheld hair dryer sticking out of the black cubbies.

Sitting in front of the first station, you think back to when your husband asked you what you really wanted in your home. It was a ballsy ask, in your opinion; you weren’t even sure what he meant by it. But he said you could turn the basement into whatever you wanted. It baffled you because you thought he’d want a man cave to escape the realities of marriage. That’s what your dad did, so you thought it was normal to think so.

So you tossed around the idea of taking on more personal and private clients in a home suite. A month later, he pleasantly surprised you with a fully furnished and functional home salon. It resembled a mini version of your main salon in the city. There is nothing that man wouldn't do for you.

After giving birth, Tee kicked into full dad mode. When he said your only job once Tiana was born was to just take care of her, he did not go back on his word. He's been an absolutely phenomenal father and partner, always taking her when you need a break, making sure you eat and stay hydrated, and even getting up during the night to calm her down. Him and your brother are literally upstairs putting together a new nursery glider so your morning feedings can be cozier.

Maybe that's why you're so antsy. You were so used to always caring for others; now that someone is holding you down the same way, you don't know what to do with yourself. You don't even cook anymore. Your mom has been handling all the meals so you can take time and heal. Everything they were doing was amazing, and you deeply appreciated it, but damn, you were bored.

The sound of your phone buzzing made your train of thought drown.

Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

we're done with yo fancy ass chair, come see it while Titi still sleep

sent at 2:23 pm

You thought about going back upstairs for a minute, but a different idea caught your attention.

To: Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

I have a better idea, you bring your wack ass fade to the basement and come sit in my chair😌

read at 2:27 pm

Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

arent you supposed to be resting, imma tell momma👎🏾

To: Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

Im offering you a free haircut and you wanna go rat me out😑 don't you have team pictures in a few days👀

Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

fine im coming, but when momma finds out I'm blaming you

To: Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

yea right, just come down here. AND DONT TELL TEE!

Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

yea... a little late for that one😬

read at 2:33 pm

Great, just when you thought you'd be able to do your own thing, your little brother goes and fucks it up before it happens.

Oh well, you shrugged and walked over to the back of the salon for your supplies to set up for Ja'Marr's haircut. You grabbed an apron for you and a barber cape for him (even though you should let him be itchy for threatening to snitch), your black pro clippers, a razor, a number 1 and 2 comb, some holding spray, and a brush. Then, set up your chair.

Minutes later, you were all ready, and your client walked in with your husband.

"Y/n, what are you doing?" He asked with an amused smirk on his face.

"I'm giving my brother the haircut he so desperately needs." You smile back, patting the back of the chair for J to sit down.

"You're supposed to be resting." He crosses his arms as you drape the cape over your brother.

Smirking, you untie your apron and walk up to your husband with your hands on your hips. "Look at me, babe." You slowly spin around to give him an eyeful of your postpartum baby body.

"I see you, mamas. Trust me, I see you." The very nice thing about everyone making sure you take care of yourself these last few weeks has been your ability to prioritize your "snap back." You weren't working out to get to a certain shape. You were just prioritizing strengthening your core, which meant some belly binding, light ab exercises, and self-care. You were nowhere near your pre-baby weight, but you liked the extra curves, and someone else did too.

"You can't just expect me to just sit down and wait for Tiana to wake up. I gotta keep my body active, practice my trade."

He knew you were saying words, but ever since that apron came off, his mind was somewhere else. "Oh, I know how you can get active."

"Alright, y'all just nasty. Am I getting my hair done or what?" Ja'Marr groans from behind you.

"Yea Tee, you gon' let me work or what?" You say, biting your lip.

He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. "Fine," he says, pulling a waiting chair over to the corner of your area. The 6-week rule playing over and over in his mind.

"Good, now let's get to work. Don't worry babe, you're next." You chirp, picking up the brush to begin the haircut.

But Ja'Marr jerks his head away. "Ay, Y/n don't go too rough now."

You can't help but snort. "Yes, yes, I know. You too tenderheaded for my skills."

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

~ a/n: yall see what I did there ;) last addition to the au for a while. time to go work on some other fics ♡

[ferrstappen]

max, the wag (for the third time) l Max Verstappen x reader

a/n: i was in the middle of writing this when news of Danny coming back to the grid!!! omg I'm so happy of seeing RIC and listening to his radios and everything, it wasn't the same without him <3

also, about requests. Please keep sending them, I've LOVED all the reqs I've gotten but right now im getting ready for my bar exam in a couple of weeks so my time is super super limited, but I promise I'll get to most of them (bc imsorry there are some reqs that I really can't connect with) after the exam, it's one of the things I'm looking forward to <3 but for now this kind of mediocre story telling will have to do...

ANYWAY, HOPE YOU LIKE THIS INSTALLMENT! you can find part 1 and 2 on the master list <3

summary: the continuation of your favorite paddock couple.

Max arrived to the track by himself.

If he was being honest, it wasn’t on his plans to walk alone with the photographers, Red Bull marketing team snatching him for stuff right after he swapped his credential. Even from far away he was able to hear chants of fans and more media than usual. 

But you weren’t right there next to him. 

He knew it wasn’t your fault, Silverstone not being a track where he was usually welcomed with opened arms and he was aware of you not wanting to be too in the eye of photographers who didn’t make questions to you, but there still were different WAGs and outfits or whatever accounts tracking your every step, especially with the new wave of partners and sudden break ups and polemics. 

Still, the selfish part of him wanted you to enter the track with him, even if it was a few steps ahead or behind him, holding your hand and smiling as you complained about the amount of credentials you had to carry: the usual green VIP Paddock, Red Bull something. You’d think after all these years they’d know me, you’d say and he’d laugh.

On the other hand, you finished getting ready and called the front desk to get a taxi to get there, feeling a bit guilty of letting Max go on his own, especially when there were more eyes on the track with Brad Pitt being there and a lot of important people who’d want to talk with him all day. 

Texting Max to let him know you were already by the guests entrance waiting when you noticed some intense flashes getting near. You’d been around a time or two to know this wasn’t usual, maybe in Miami but not when you were on the abandoned back entrance, not very glamorous and low key. 

But you saw her…

Shakira, are you visiting Lewis?

Who are you cheering today?

Shakira, third Grand Prix of the year! 

Did you talk to Lewis before? Is he nervous?

Your eyes followed her, mouth opening when you followed her small frame, exuding class and sympathy, even Alexandra who was also making her entrance stopped to get a closer look of the Colombian bombshell. 

Of course, they didn’t ask her to show and get accredited, she just walked by with a radiant smile leaving paparazzi behind as she kept talking with the friend she came with. 

But wasn’t that a Haas credential?

It didn’t matter, it wasn’t important, because right then your brain made the connections and started dialing Max while nervously biting your polished nails. 

“Baby, everything okay? Are you already inside?” Max answered, but his words were quiet and rushed. 

“Yes, but you’re never going to believe…”

“I’m sorry we have a meeting, please don’t go to the paddock, go straight to the driver’s lounge, okay? Love you” 

He hung up and you wanted to pull your hair out, knowing he is the one and only person you wanted to share this information with, and you were also certain he was the only person who would truly appreciate the gossip and speculation about his fellow driver’s love life. 

Max was able to leave the meeting almost forty minutes later, getting outside for some air until he remembered your call and that you probably were bored to death on the lounge. He was turning around to go there when…

When he saw the one and only Shakira in all of her glory. 

He wasn’t starstruck or anything, being immune to celebrities and the imaginary pedestal where most people placed them, but this wasn’t about that, it was about the way she was supposedly hiding under a cap walking towards the Mercedes garage.

He covered his mouth and hastily made his way to you. 

You didn’t greet each other with the usual peck on the lips and short hug; his slightly widened blue eyes told you exactly what you needed to know as he opened the door to his small room. 

“Please tell me that you saw her!” You said as soon as he closed the door. 

“Yes, just now she was walking to Mercedes,” Max was whisper shouting as if someone would hear him and it was the highest of secrets. 

“Did you see Lewis?” You asked Max but he said no. “What if you try to ask Brad Pitt if he saw her and like if they’re friends… with Shakira?” This time both you and your boyfriend laughed at the idea.

"I did see Sainz trying to go unnoticed with a tall brunette,do you think she is the new girlfriend?" Max asked and you nodded.

"I'm pretty sure he cheated on Isa with her, and I am almost certain she was in the Paddock Club in Monaco during qualifying," Max whistled at the new information.

Now he kissed you, lips fitting perfectly against each other, but your eyes suddenly opened and separated from him. What? Why? What happened? Max was disconcerted. 

“Please don’t laugh at me because this is a serious idea…” You told Max who had your entire attention. “What if we write to Deuxmoi?”

“Deux what?”

“They have all the inside scoops  and sightings, even your name’s popped up once or twice,” Max’s eyebrows rose at the information. “We should write that Shakira was seen on the British Grand Prix and I am one hundred percent sure someone will have more information!” You proposed and Max chuckled.

“Schatz, I can just ask Lewis why she’s here,” Max told you before embracing you, his arms circled around your waist.

You rolled your eyes before resting your head on his chest, but suddenly it hit you, swiftly lifting your head and facing Max. 

“Then why haven’t you asked him yet?!”

[kevindavidday]

i love that neil considers jean as part of the family he wants to protect. i will elaborate this time because

if you think about it, neil spent book 1 trying his best not to build a connection, book 2 trying to break down the walls ending with confirming from nicky if they were friends, and every second after that deliberately doing whatever was in his goddamn power to keep these people safe and happy. going to edens for andrew, keeping the truth from them, getting the letter back for kevin, reminding kevin that he owes jean a conversation after all that's happened, fixing the twins' relationship, spending time with them even though he knew he would leave. in his mind, what he was doing was selfish because he was going to die soon and they didn't even know it.

he doesn't die, though and he comes back with even MORE fight in him than before. he meets his uncle once and although his mother hadn't wanted him to be involved in one gang after another, he doesn't give a single flying fuck. the hatford's existence is just another resource for him, a way to hurt those who have hurt his family. stuart already killed his father, so what's it matter if there's a few more - protecting him means protecting his family. if the fbi had any clue about the power neil actually holds over the hatford's they would all willingly eat their hats tbh.

so the first thing he does when he sees his uncle again? despite knowing that ichirou is close-by? he tells him to kill proust.

hell, even the moriyama's are nothing to this man if i'm being honest. he isn't afraid of them, he knew the rarity of ichirou's visits which made him wary when he got into the car to talk about bargaining their lives and i truly do believe ichirou moriyama was fucking relieved neil didn't ask for more than that. there is that strange, dead look in his eyes that he's inherited from his father which unnerves the fuck out of everyone who doesn't know him. and when he bargained for his life and kevin's, he remembered jean too.

which is fucking insane. he spent only winter break with jean moreau, ONLY. i know there's extra days at the nest, but i'd kill to know what happened between jean and neil during that time for neil to have such unflinching loyalty towards his 'forever partner'. i want to know their conversations, i want to know what they suffered through together.

and the casual way in which jean dropped the news about grayson to neil, after hiding it away from everyone for so long. he admitted the truth to neil straight up, like of course neil should know, it's neil. jean's mind is still haywired to remember him too even though they were only together for a few weeks!!!

what is it about them?

and then the entire time otw to the diner, neil's plotting again. he's scheming. he's thinking. and he knows what to do. and its asking for local work because fuck anyone who has ever hurt his family. he literally only ever needs a fucking name, bro. 'my first memories are of people dying.' i think we can tell...

wymack saw that leadership potential and made him vice captain. god bless neil only cares about playing exy because if he had even a second more interest in crime he would've floored everyone. i can see it so clearly.

anyway, hope he takes a hit out on tetsuji moriyama next 🙏

[ripleylove]

Sole's masterlist 🔮

☆ Rhea ripley

Whatever happens.

rhea being absent in your relationship was taking a toll on you,but,you didn't want her to leave

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

Better judgement.

during a hot day of August,you discover you were just another option for Rhea.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

In the safety of your arms.

being a new wrestler is hard,but trying to not fall for Rhea is harder.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

The calm before the storm.

a gentle breeze and a calm morning introduced the calm before the storm. But Rhea is always here for you,in bad and good situations.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

An unexpected announcement.

announcing you and Rhea being parents wasn't something you could do commonly,so you decided to tease them a bit.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

I need just you and nobody else.

while going to the bathroom during raw,a lot of interviewers started to bother you,and you get really upset and overstimulated,but Rhea is always here for you.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

you have nothing to worry about as long as I'm with you.

during the way to meet Rhea's family to tell them you're getting married,you started to get a bit worried,but Rhea is quick to calm you down.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

little spoon/big spoon headcanons; Rhea Ripley.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

Drunk in love.

you were exausted after a night out at the club,and your girlfriend Rhea is here to help you.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

We're in this together.

even when you're feeling low,Rhea is here for you.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

You're okay, sweetheart.

at one of Damian's parties,you get really overwhelmed by the loud music and the screams,so Rhea is here to comfort you.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

Just the way you are.

while your friend Rhea bought you to your first wrestling show,something goes wrong. But,as always, Rhea handles it her way,secretly receiving a kiss from you

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

Daring woman

Rhea, even after a long period of getting to know each other,still didn't open her heart to you,her old and indifferent behaviour taking the best of her,but you still fought for her.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

Break of dawn.

you and Rhea were friends with benefits,but you wanted more.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

Dating Rhea headcanons.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

Sfw alphabet ; Rhea Ripley.

☆ The judgment day.

The light of the group.

Shayna decides to make you feel insecure, but Rhea,Dom,Damian and Finn are here to tell you otherwise.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

The light of the group part 2.

your love for stuffies and candies is immense, and the judgement day always offered to buy some more if you didn't have any.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

Passion.

you passion for fashion amazed the judgment day in ways that you can't even imagine.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋

Sunshine.

Damian,Rhea,Finn and Dominik couldn't live without you,and their little gestures demonstrated it.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

Hard Mission

after Damian banned candies,you had to invent any way to eat at least of sweetness. (including hiding a jolly rancher in your bra.)

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

Say Something.

being ignored by your four partners for sure wasn't great,but the last thing that made your bottled emotions free was the fact that they decided to ditch the date you have been planning since many weeks,and this really made you feel furious.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

☆ Dominik Mysterio.

mami,tu eres solo mia.

even while doing an interview, Dominik always defends you,no one disrespects his mami.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

Safe in my embrace.

With Liv pulling her usual stunts,you finally had enough of her uncomfortable advances to Dominik,and you decided to teach her a lesson to protect your boyfriend.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

The only reason I smile.

after hearing the bad comments about himself even after winning the intercontinental championship,Dominik got really upset,but you,his tag team partner and his girlfriend,decided to cheer him up.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

☆ Santos escobar

Solo tu y yo,y nadie mas.

seeing Elektra being all over Santos,ignited a feeling of jealousy inside you,and you wanted to have your revenge.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

☆ Jey Uso

Show me.

after Jey announced your relationship to the wwe universe,people started to give you mean comments,and Jey's here to show you that you're his one and only love.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

You rock my world.

As Jey and his twin brother Jimmy were eating at a Chinese restaurant,in front of them passed a beautiful girl,that Jey instantly took a liking on.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

☆ the Usos

Double the Trouble

after the twins won the tag team belt,you congratulated jey,and jimmy decided to join on the fun.

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

☆ Solo Sikoa

Show all my love for you.

while waiting for your beloved birthday,a confession to your best friend Solo completely change the way you see each other.

[cosmerelists]

If Cosmere Characters Starred in Procedural TV Shows...

In a development that is surely not at all indicative of my mental health, I have been watching a LOT of 2000s style "special-est guy" procedurals. You know, like Psych or White Collar or Bones...those shows where Some Guy with a Special Talent or Quirk helps the police (or FBI or whatever) solve crimes. So in this list, let's talk about the Cosmere version of those procedurals.

1. Psych: Starring Renarin & Rlain

In Psych, Shawn Spencer pretends that he is psychic to cover up the fact that he's just hyper-observant and wants to solve crimes. In the Cosmere-version of Psych it's...pretty much the opposite. Renarin must hide the fact that he actually can see the future, and so he pretends that he's solving crimes through totally natural and normal detective means when really he is having visions. Rlain is his best friend who is helping him in his capers and coverups.

2. Bones: Starring Jasnah and Dalinar

In Bones, Dr. Brennan's extensive knowledge of forensic anthropology allows her to help the FBI solve murders. In the Cosmere version, it would be Jasnah's historical knowledge that is somehow endlessly relevant in for Dalinar's crime solving. Think of him bringing her into his vision that one time to figure out what part of history they were in. It would be like that, 22 episodes a season.

3. Grimm: Starring Vin and TenSoon

In Grimm, Nick discovers that he has magical grimm powers and now he can see monsters and solve monster-related crimes. In later episodes of the show, this sadly devolves into him mostly killing monsters, but that's a gripe for another blog. Vin is also someone who woke up one day to realize that she had magic powers in her blood and that there was a whole world out there, and she also fights monsters. Or, in this version, solves crimes involving them. Also Nick's partner was Monroe, a blutbad (basically werewolf), and Vin also has a dog-coded sidekick, TenSoon.

4. Burn Notice: Starring Nomad, Hoid, and Rebeke

In Burn Notice, Michael Western is a former operative who gets "burned," meaning he's cut off from his spy agency and left to fend for himself. Instead, he uses his spy knowledge to...well, not solve crimes, actually, but at least solve problems. And yes, I use Nomad here in part because he's on a world where you have to run constantly from the sun to avoid being burned, so it's funny, but also because it fits. In this version, Nomad must use the skills and knowledge he developed in his past role as [spoilers redacted], alongside a slightly untrustworthy, Hawaiian-shirt wearing, not-played-by-Bruce-Campbell-in-this-version Hoid. Rebeke can be Fiona, although she's slightly less prone to explosions.

5. White Collar: Starring Shallan and Adolin

In White Collar, Neal Caffrey is a con artist turned FBI informant who goes undercover every episode to use his con artist knowledge to solve crimes for the FBI. In this version, Shallan uses her lightweaving to go undercover every episode to help Adolin, who I guess is in the Rosharan FBI, solve crimes. My wife complained that in this version there's no obvious OT3, so I guess Adolin is married to Kaladin or something to make it work.

6. Alternative White Collar: Starring Shai and Gaotona

I also like the idea of it being Shai who is Neal--since she is captured and then forced to use her powers to help the government, ala Neal on his work release program. Only in this case, Shai would somehow use her Forgery powers every week to solve crimes alongside her handler, who I guess is Gaotona in this version.

7. Lucifer: Starring Kelsier

In Lucifer, the title character is, well, the devil, who's moved to LA and also helps solves crimes (man, there's a lot of these shows!). And Kelsier is a guy who crawled up out of the Pits of Hell--I mean, Hathsin and, in this version, proceeds to go back to the city and solve crimes I guess! I'm not sure who should play the non-devil-believing detective, though--any ideas?

8. Lie to Me: Starring Eshonai and Venli

In Lie to Me, there's like...a lab, I think? That studies micro-expressions, which are things that people can't hide and which reveal the truth of what they're saying. I like the idea that there are, like, micro-rhythms that even humans can't control, and so Eshonai and Venli are able to work as investigators solving murders using their...micro-rhythm lab, I guess.

9. House: Starring Lirin

House is a Sherlock Holmes adaptation where Holmes is an asshole doctor with chronic pain and a drug problem who solves really complicated medical cases. Now, Lirin is nothing like House (aside from being a bit grumpy sometimes), but I still want the adaptation where he moves into Urithiru and then solves super complicated medical cases that the Radiant healers can't handle for some reason.

10. Dexter: Starring Lessie and Wax

In Dexter, the title character is a serial killer who works for the cops as a blood splatter analyst and spends his free time hunting down criminals so that he can murder them. And, well, Lessie is a serial killer who helps Wax solves crimes, so it's kinda the same thing! Only I guess the serial killing happening after the crime-solving in the real Cosmere timeline...so in this version we'd need to have Lessie get into serial killing early so she's doing it while also helping Wax solve crimes.

11. Castle: Starring Ellista

In Castle, a mystery novelist named Richard Castle helps the police department solve crimes. Now, Ellista is not a novelist. Nor does she even read mysteries. But I like the idea of her romance-novel knowledge somehow coming in clutch in a series of romance-novel-related crimes that only she can solve. Tell me you wouldn't watch that.

12. iZombie: Starring Raoden and Galladon

In iZombie, Liv is a well, zombie, who gets visions when she eats brains and uses that power to help solve murders. I know Raoden is not a brain-eating zombie, but I couldn't pass up our one zombie character. So this show would take place in Elantris, where Raoden and Galladon (who spend a lot more time there, as zombies) solve crimes.

13. Angel: Starring Painter

Angel is a Buffy spinoff where the vampire Angel moves to LA and broodingly solves monster crimes while brooding. Painter is not a vampire, but he does like to linger in the shadows and he does fight nightmares...and much like the titular Angel, he's way more of a dork than he'd like you to believe. There's even a body swapping episode in Angel!

14. Pushing Daisies: Starring Endowment, Vasher, and Vivenna

In Pushing Daisies, there's a piemaker who can bring back the dead with a touch--but only for a minute (or else someone else has to die). Ned uses this power to temporarily bring back murder victims to, you guessed it, solve crimes, alongside his childhood sweetheart Chuck and his detective partner Emerson. Now, there one character who can temporarily bring the dead back to life--but if they want it to be permanent they have to steal "life" from others. And that's Endowment. Imagine if she decided to use her Returned powers to solve crimes! Now cast Vasher as the grumpy detective and Vivenna as...Endowment's love interest? I think it works.

[evillemons]

hiii who do you think is most likely to enjoy / engage / initiate make up sex after an argument? in my head i see some members getting in such a bad mood that they wouldn’t even want to touch their partner, but not so much for others. would love to know what u think✨

Oooo what a sexy prompt! I had a pretty immediate idea of which members would be on the top and bottom of the list. I'm curious if you have opposing thoughts though, I'd love to hear them! (also these pictures are SO big I'm sorry)

Which BTS members would be most likely to initiate makeup sex

*NSFW content*

1. V

KING of makeup sex. In fact, arguments turn him on so much that he would purposefully push his girlfriend's buttons so that he could "make it up to her" immediately afterwards. It would be passionate, aggressive, angry, hot and heavy, but Tae is a little bit of a masochist in bed so that's exactly how he likes it. He would probably get hard in the middle of her yelling at him and then push her against the wall to kiss her mid-sentence.

2. Jin

Surprisingly high on the list, I imagine Jin wanting to initiate makeup sex after arguing with his girlfriend as a form of an apology. Unlike Tae though, he hates relationship conflict and seeing her get upset or angry, so sex would be a way of showing her that he loves and cares for her, despite whatever they were arguing about. It would probably happen a few hours later or the next day rather than immediately proceeding the argument, and it would be gentle, giving, and affectionate.

3. Jungkook

Kind of a hybrid of Tae and Jin - he loves the passion and aggression of makeup sex, but he would also feel so bad for hurting her feelings that he would feel the need to earn her forgiveness. He would be SO good at, too, desperately trying to please her and give her what she wants. However, if it's a really bad argument over a major issue, he would rather distance himself for a few days to mull over his thoughts instead.

4. Jimin

Makeup sex with Jimin would be more romantic and emotional rather than hot and sexy. It would have to be completely mutual though, if one person initiates while the other is even a tiny bit hesitant, it would feel awkward and ingenuine. And it's not that Jimin isn't capable of more aggressive sex, but I think he would prefer the feeling of being emotionally close to his girlfriend again after an argument.

5. j-hope

It's not that Hobi wouldn't enjoy engaging in makeup sex, but he probably wouldn't be the one to initiate it. He's extremely mature in relationships, and I think he would rather talk everything through thoroughly and make sure he is in a healthy headspace first. I don't think he would turn it down if it's what his girlfriend need to feel better and closer to him again, though.

6. RM

Despite being the horny boy Joon is, sex is a mental and emotional act for him, so it's unlikely that he would be interested in being intimate after an argument. In fact, he would probably need to spend a week ruminating alone before he's ready to make up with his girlfriend. If it's a silly argument and he's already in the mood, there might be a rare occasion where he engages in it for the experience.

7. SUGA

Absolutely not. Although Yoongi is generally nonchalant when it comes to sex (as in he'll give it to his partner whenever they want), he would find it inappropriate if his girlfriend tried to jump on him following an argument, much less initiate it. Like Joon, there is a mental component to sex for him, and he would rather reflect alone and solve the issue before he's able to get close with her again.

[bambi-kinos]

Would you like to answer a few questions about you opinions about Paul. Peoples read him very different and of course as a human he too has good and bad sides. What are the things that stands out to you the most: pros and cons besides being icon and music genius. Not from beatle historians or anyone else's opinions just your personal views? In the Beatles, pre and post Beatles. How do you view him today vs from decades ago? (Don't know how long you've been a fan) do you think he's mostly happy or sad in private. I'm asking you this because to me you seem like the one on line blogger that seem to "get him". Also would you say that you are attracted to him? Have you seen him live? What are you favourite songs by him both as a Beatle and beyond. I'm a super-Paul-stan fan and proud of it and nothing you say can change my own opinions of Paul but because nobody is perfect. Ok I'll let you go now.

Had to think about this one for a couple of weeks.

My opinion about Paul is that most of positive and negative feelings towards him are earned. He deserves the reverence but sometimes people take it too far like when his stepsister Ruth called him a god with feet of clay or whatever lmao. That kind of behavior is incredibly cringe and its very embarrassing that people can talk that way about Paul. But I think that he's busted his ass for over 60 years so truthfully he's earned the accolades and praise that he gets. There are some people that get really pissy and mad that he's revered so much and the only thing that we can say to them is "get a fucking life." Paul McCartney has been working his shapely ass off for decades to get where he is and is still slamming out music at in his fucking 80s. When you accomplish half as much as he has than you can think about whining that he's too revered and too worshipped.

On the other hand Paul has done a good job of earning all the negative emotions directed at him. He's egotistical and isn't graceful about wearing that praise. He tries to pretend he doesn't care but it's so transparent and see through that it's actively irritating, I think it's this more than anything that can get people to bitch. There is a phony veneer to Paul where he's clearly doing a bit of some sort and it's aggravating because it's not entirely clear what the bit actually is. Like all the posts making fun of him for pretending to be """normal""" are not coming out of no where, it's real aggravation that he's worked his whole life to get where he is and he tries to go "heehee I don't actually want it I'm just a guy like you <3~" like cmon dude really. For fuck's sake.

When it comes to Paul himself, my take on him, idk. I identify with Paul heavily. I like to think I'm more aggressive than he is but who actually fucking knows. I went through a life changing trauma at a similar age. (I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when I was eleven years old which is the insulin dependent diabetes that you hear about a lot on social media. BTW if anyone else has diabetes type 1 or 2 I'm available to talk, my dad and my partner are both type 2 and I know a lot about both.) I can identify with how your life is heavily bifurcated between Before and After. I also identify with how Paul really struggles to come to grips with his family life, while it's clear Jim and Mary did love him a lot they also simply were not stellar parents and a lot of their success with Paul and Mike lies in the fact that they gave their sons a steady home life without chaotic disruptions more than that they navigated the trials of parenthood well. I identify with that as well because diabetes makes my life very chaotic, and my parents did work to smooth those things over; but on the other hand my folks also had nasty and ugly moments with me just like Jim did with Paul. So I know what its like to love your parent immensely and be loved by them and still have a deeply resentful and distrustful relationship with them. And I never had a John Lennon in the mix to disrupt things.

I think it left me and Paul in similar places though our birth order is reversed with him being the oldest and me being the youngest. I realized a long time ago that I was completely on my own in terms of my diabetes and the rest of my life (my mother made some treatment decisions about my diabetes that nearly killed me a few times before I took control of it completely.) A parent can love you immensely, try to do everything right, and still damage you profoundly. With Paul having to endure physical blows and attempted emotional manipulation from his father, I think he too realized that he was totally on his own and that Jim could not give Paul what he needed. That is why Paul has such a strong self preservation instinct and why he comes off as two faced and why MLH remarked that he did not want to be in a dark alley with Paul if Paul did not like him. I've had to do some nasty things for self preservation and I think Paul has had to do it too. Some of them we know about but the majority we never will.

I think that it's hard to be the first born or the last born kid. You get so much of your parents attention but they screw you up in so many ways. I know middle children tend to feel ignored but I'm going to tell you right now, you're being shielded from a lot because you're not getting the Eye of Morder trained on you. Maybe we should all be thankful for what we have, idk. I have a lot more in common with my oldest sister than any of my middle siblings.

Paul is ruthlessly out for himself. I think John dying actually changed that a bit, it made him somewhat less vindictive and he was more open to letting people in but he's never not going to protect himself first. Or else he wouldn't have married Nancy in the first place, Nancy's first cousin was Barbara Walters and through Nancy Paul has a direct line to the news media which means he has yet one more string of influence so that he can control his public image. Nancy and Paul like each other a lot and their relationship is sincere, but Paul also benefits greatly by it. Do you see how this goes with him lol, he can invest in sincere relationships (and to be clear he does love Nancy) while still benefitting from it materially and immaterially. Note that a lot of the negative stuff about Paul started fading out of the press after he married Nancy.

Other fans often think I'm being negative and hateful about Paul when I point out that he is a manipulator and that he has a ruthless streak in him but that can't be farther from the truth. I sincerely admire Paul's ability to arrange his life in such a way that he is safe from most tangible threats and that he has such a way of moving chess pieces so that his hand isn't visible. I find that a great deal more admirable and amazing than John's bluntforce "let me squawk like a chicken to a reporter and they'll shit on Paul for me because I took a photo with them" thing. John was very blunt and clumsy with his sledgehammer and that did get results but I think that Paul is a great deal more artistic and beautiful with his media manipulation. The fact that he can carefully line up his pieces, get the results he wants, and then his influence is never seen (unless you extrapolate your way backwards from the results) is, to me, a great deal more elegant and sophisticated than the Lennono approach to bloviating during interviews.

Paul learned this during the initial Beatlemania rush when he had scads of heterosexual men all on their hands and knees begging him to let them fuck him. He does things exclusively through dangling something people want in front of them and then lets them take a course of action that suits him. And despite the fact that he is the architect of these movements you can never trace anything back to him because he does everything through influence and suggestion, not by out and out coercion or bribery. It's actually kind of incredible. Last week my friend remarked "I think Paul could pull off a bank heist and never get caught" and she's right.

That's what I admire about Paul. That is what I think is beautiful about him. Not necessarily the music or the lyrics or the insane life. Just the fact that he is a very patient and careful human being that doesn't lose his cool easily. I want to know more about him because I want that, you know? Being able to control facets of my life with that much care and harmony.

But that wasn't always the case. Paul was very clumsy during the 1970s because he let his feelings rule him when he should have crushed John like a bug. It wasn't until after John died that Paul started building the fortress, that was when he finally realized "oh shit, I need to build a persona for PR. I can't just be me anymore." Wings Paul is in some ways the most honest Paul, he vomits his feelings everywhere and we get a lot of insights into his mind and home life. That was before he had formed his own network of influence and political chicanry. 1980s Paul is when he's investing in that network finally and then 1990s Paul is when he started putting it into motion culminating in the divorce with Heather Mills. All in all I find it fascinating that Paul was not able to pull these disparate parts of himself together until he was in his 40s and Linda died. What is to be done with such a man?

I think that Paul has always had disparate parts of himself that he hasn't been able to reconcile. This is of course not unusual, it is the work of our lifetimes that we must see, accept, and internalize our contradictory natures. It's Paul's bad luck that he has to do this all in the public eye. No one envies him that. It's hell on earth and my heart breaks for him sometimes.

When it comes to Paul's moods in private, I think he is more or less "happy." Paul himself has said that he doesn't overthink his actions, he just decides what he wants to do and does it and whether it pans out or not is a different matter. I think that he's the kind of person that doesn't ruminate and he doesn't overthink what he's doing. And if he does do that then he goes to his guitar and does the "tell it all my problems" thing which is actually music therapy. It clearly helps him a lot and it clears his head so that he can keep his problems in perspective. I do that with journaling and my common place book, and I should do it more. It clearly helps Paul which is a good habit to have. All in all during his day to day life, Paul is happy and accomplished and has a big family with lots of grandchildren. Clearly loves Beatrice to bits and would do anything for her. The fact that we never hear anything bad about Beatrice is proof that she inherited all the right things from Paul lmao, she knows better than to get in trouble. Interestingly I think Beatrice is Paul's mini-me and considering Heather Mills is the same kind of personality as John Lennon, it makes me think that John and Paul having children together would actually have worked out very well for them.

On the other hand we know that Paul carries his share of anger and bitterness and old grudges. "No one knows the real me, do they." We're lucky that we live in a time where we can be relatively open about our personalities as well as our wants and needs. Paul did not grow up with such privileges and is only just recently starting to feel his way to the place we have inhabited our entire lives. He's suffered greatly for it. He's a naturally reticent person but I think John Lennon is the only person in the world Paul could fully express himself with; even Linda did not get full access to Paul considering comments made by others about Paul's controlling nature which belies anxiety. Why was Paul anxious around Linda, his soul mate? Because there were still parts of himself he didn't want her to know. And so on.

I think that in some ways Paul's lack of rumination and cheeriness is a choice that he's made for himself. He's been "tired" of negativity and hurtfulness for pretty much his entire life, he's always wanted to bring light into the world. John once said that Yoko painting "yes" on the ceiling of her exhibit was what he liked about her because it was positive, unlike the self absorbed 'woe is me' bullshit exhibits other avante garde people put up. I think John was attracted to Paul for similar reasons. Paul tries to take the sad song and make it better. Paul transformed John's life and he saved John from a much harder and painful path like the common belief that John would have landed himself in prison if he hadn't met Paul. I don't think it would have happened precisely that way but it was certainly a distinct possibility that John was aware of and he knew that Paul saved him from it.

Paul does it for himself as much as anyone else. I think he's actively trying to avoid the traps that many of us fall into. Rumination, bitterness, regrets. These are things that poison a person's life and even without therapeutic language Paul realized that he didn't want his life to be consumed by it. That doesn't mean he doesn't have his well of pain to tap into but he wants to live and be happy. He said once that John wouldn't want him to be hurt and depressed and he was right. I think if we all approached our lives with that kind of attitude, "I deserve to be happy and I'm going to do what it takes to get there," we would all be much better off. Paul is a role model in more ways than one.

Paul is a sport, a one off. There is no one else like him and when he dies there will never be anyone like him ever again. Treasure him now while he is here.

I have never seen him perform. When he has his next US tour then I'll go, I don't care what it costs.

Am I attracted to him: yes and yes. I find it more like an aspirational attractiveness but I think he's intensely beautiful and he became more beautiful as he aged (though there is something very special and breedable about 22 year old Paul McCartney. It's deeply depressing that he never got pregnant.) That's different from being handsome, all of the Beatles were handsome but Paul is intensely beautiful. It's the kind of thing that gets memorialized in Sumarian poems. If we were told he was descended from swan maidens or something like that, it would not be a shock. There's a story in that somewhere lol, imagine Paul bathing in a lake and John steals his feathered coat so that Paul will marry him or something like that. IDK. Paul is very intense.

Beauty is sovereign. Beauty triumphs over all things. Paul is one of those rare people that handles (almost) all of his affairs adroitly. Every little thing he does is magic.

I'm a big fan of all of Paul's work, I genuinely enjoy London Town for instance and I don't get why some circles make fun of it. Synth owns what is the problem here. Some of my favorite Paul songs:

With a Little Luck

Probably my favorite "John, I love you, I'm sorry, please come home" song. It's just very Paul, the very carefully arranged harmony, the minor key in an upbeat tempo, with the almost mismatched lyrics before Paul brings it back to a major key resolution. It makes me want to find my partner and kiss them on their lower lip. (My partner has a very pouty lower lip, easily one of their best features.)

Let 'em In

I have an entire animated music video in my head about this song. I've actually been looking up how to teach myself art because I want to pursue it. First learning to draw, then learning to animate and all because I want to animate this sequence I have in my head. Oh Paul. I adore you.

Rock Show

This one actually made me stand up and dance around my house which never happens anymore. I just love the energy and Paul's silly voices. And Paul's platonic fascination with axe wielders rears its head again! I wonder if Paul ever fantasized about killing people with an axe.

Another Day

This is the anthem of my life lmao. At least I have a romantic partner but we're long distance until I can emigrate to the United Kingdom so again I identify very heavily with this Paul piece. Ahhh…

When it comes to Paul's Beatle work, I don't really want to reference anything there because Beatles music was such a community effort, even Paul's songs aren't fully his once the other three got their hands on it. That's not a bad thing but it does mean the Beatles were an engine unto themselves. Paul never had full control of his songs. My choices are not particularly enlightened but they are true which is all I can provide.

This was a really great ask to get, thank you for sending it in. Very flattered if I'm someone who "gets" Paul. I think it's more like he makes a lot of sense to me and it's very rare that he does something that does not make sense to me. I'm probably projecting a lot but we all do that so who cares?