#and i just wanna go HOME. NOBODY FUCKING TALK TO ME I WANNA CURL UP IN MY BED WITH ALL MY BLANKETS.

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Welcome to the neighborhood

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 22

Prompt: Santa

Rated: T

Tags: No UD AU; Single Dad Steve; Single Dad Eddie; Steve is Dustin’s dad; Eddie is Max's dad; Neighbors; Christmas

Steve presses the doorbell for the third time, secretly wishing he'd put on his coat - or his outdoor shoes at least. Nobody has bothered removing the snow from the walkway leading up to the door, and it's seeping into his slippers and socks. 

“Maybe they aren't home,” Dustin says, voice slightly muffled from under his scarf. 

Steve scoffs, mentally cursing Carol for talking him into this. “I saw the car pull into the garage, they're here.” 

He's just trying to decide if he should rap his freezing knuckles against the milk glass pane or tell Carol to go fuck herself when the door swings open, revealing a girl around Dustin’s age. She's sporting a vicious scowl and a shock of violently orange hair. 

“Oh hi,” Steve says. “Are your parents home?” 

She gives them a long, pointed once over. Steve in his slippers and too-thin shirt and Dustin in his knitted Minecraft hat. 

Then, without turning, she hollers, “Dad! It's the hottie from across the street.” 

Somewhere in the house, somebody drops something. There's a barrage of swear words that makes Steve wanna cover Dustin’s ears, and then a whirlwind of black clothes and frizzy curls descends down the stairs and almost barrels into the stack of half unpacked boxes in the hallway. 

“Jesus Christ, Maxine! Sorry about that, I dunno what she's on about.” 

The girl rolls her eyes.

“You said it. Own it.” 

The man glares at her. She grins. 

“Hi,” Steve says again, bravely ignoring the heat rising under his collar. “Nice to meet you. I live-” 

“Across the street. She just said it,” Dustin provides helpfully. “Hi, I'm Dustin, this is my dad.” 

The girl gives him a lazy wave. “So, what do you do for fun around here, Dustin?” 

He shrugs. “I was about meet some friends, throw snowballs at cars. You wanna come?” 

“Ew, lame,” she says, grabbing her coat off another box. “Let's go.” 

Steve watches them disappear down the street, already deep in conversation about something or other.

“Well, then.” The other man extends his hand. It's adorned in clunky rings and covered in paint stains. “Do I get a proper introduction, or are we doing that thing where we refer to each other as Max's and Dustin’s Dad until it gets awkward, but by then we're too embarrassed to ask so we just skirt around it and say ‘hey, you’ for several years?” 

Steve is snorting a laugh before he remembers he's supposed to be mad. 

“Steve,” he says, taking the offered hand. It's pleasantly warm after the frosty air. “Welcome to the neighborhood.” 

“Steve,” the man repeats, and something about the way it rolls off his tongue makes a different kind of warmth settle in Steve’s chest. “Hi, I'm Eddie. What brings you here on this fine- oh shit, should I ask you to come inside? My kitchen is still very much a work in progress, but I got the coffee maker running yesterday, so I could fix us-” 

“It's fine,” Steve lies. He's starting to lose the feeling in his toes. “I just wanted to- … I'm here on behalf of the Home Owners’ Community.” 

Eddie tilts his head at him. “There's a Home Owners’ Community?” 

“Um, yes,” Steve says, raking a hand through snow-soaked hair. “Didn't you get our welcome pamphlet? It has this chees- … um, cheery picture on it. Happy family in their yard with their dog?” 

“Oh, that!” Eddie’s mouth goes round. “Yes, I got that. Threw it out. Looked culty to me.” 

Steve gawks at him. He smiles.

“Culty,” Steve repeats. He fucking told Carol the fucking photo was too much, but did she fucking listen to him? 

“Yup,” Eddie confirms cheerfully. “Why?” 

Steve laughs weakly. “Nothing, just- … I think that's pretty damn bold, coming from someone whose idea of a Christmas decoration is this!” 

Eddie follows his sweeping hand gesture to take in his own front lawn, like he's seeing it for the first time. The giant, inflatable Santa swaying cheerily in the snowy breeze. The grinning crowd of plastic skeletons dancing by its feet. Some have pitchforks. 

The whole spectacle is rounded off by a wooden sign, hand-painted in bright red letters. 

It reads HAIL SANTA. 

“Oh yeah,” Eddie laughs. “You see, we didn’t get around to doing anything for Halloween this year, what with the move, and it's Max's favorite holiday, so-” 

“Yeah, great,” Steve says. “But the Homeowners’ Community has rules, and they clearly state that Christmas decorations must be-” 

Eddie pats his cheek. His hand is even warmer on Steve’s face than it was against his fingers. 

“But I'm not part of your little club, unfortunately.” His tone is all honest regret, but the quirk of his mouth and the laugh lines crinkling at the corners of his eyes tell a different story. “And I'm not gonna join, so there's nothing you can do to stop me. And if she has an issue with that, I suggest chairwoman Carol Hagan come over and say it to my face, instead of hiding behind your back. Not that I blame her. It's a nice back.” 

“But you said-” Steve sputters. “So you did read it!” 

“You should go home now,” Eddie says, not unkindly. “Don't wanna be seen getting friendly with the likes of me. Plus, you might lose a toe if you stay like that.” 

He nods down at Steve's soaked slippers - they may be unsalvageable by now - then starts to close the door in his face. 

“Wait,” Steve says. Eddie does, peering out from behind the door with large, hopeful eyes. “Does that offer for coffee still stand?” 

Eddie’s eyes light up. So do the led flames surrounding Santa's ghastly entourage. 

Carol can mind her own business, Steve decides. He'll get friendly with whoever the hell he pleases. 

More holiday drabbles

[rowan-ashtree]

uh oh sisters.

[msperfect777]

big sister talks : chapter 2

1. if you care about what other ppl think of you, ur wasting ur life

spending time worrying about what other ppl think when they look at you is sooo useless. you are creating imaginary and false ideas of urself thro others. you walk past a group of ppl and you immediately become voice insecurities to yourself. who even are those ppl? they are nothing compared to you. thinking that their “prettier” or “richer” or “smarter” is stupid asf bc all those are just society aspects that are false. there is no such thing as being prettier than blah blah blah. you are you just like she is she and he is he and they are they. we are all our own ppl so why waste time thinking ur less than in other ppl’s eyes? spend that time telling urself how valuable you are. realize that insecurities arent real. theres literally nothing wrong with you. you are perfect period. society may tell you that you arent but who tf are they? you wanna stick to a victim mindset or you wanna be accurate in knowing you are already perfect?

you cant spend all your life worrying about what others think of you. stop being goofy and know that the only opinion that matters is you. focus on the thing that rly matters: you. love urself bc ur the one that will never leave ur side.

recovery tips: dance in front of the mirror naked while listening to your favorite song. notice how perfect your body is. the thought that ur ugly is the same as the thought of your pretty. theres no difference right? so now you know how much of a waste of time it is to think you arent perfect.

think about how the ppl you think are thinking bad about you are a bunch of nobodies. do you think they care about those insecurities you think you have? no. so why would you care and stress about their useless opinions. notice how those thoughts are coming from you. those thoughts say that they are staring at you and that they think you look weird. thoughts arent real🤡. all this is an illusion. so enjoy the ride and dont get caught up in useless little things like thoughts and other random ppl. enjoy yourself bc you can.

2. dont waste your time on male validation

as a female in this society, we are expected to look up to men and please them…first of all.. look at what a beauty you are. you rly think a beautiful being like you would have to worry about pleasing others, especially men?? nahhh. never. remember that that little part of you that feels the need to impress men is just a result of this society. forget about it. the only one you need to impress is you.

recovery tips: know that you are a powerful limitless being. never accept impressing others. your so high up that ppl have to impress you. its never the opposite. listen to bad bitch edit audios. watch iconic 2000s movies. realize that you are the main character. why would a queen and a main character focus on impressing ppl that are already below her??… exactly.

3. be spontaneous and free

go out for a damn walk in the park or wherever. dont even worry about where your going. just walk. just enjoy the moment. get tf off the phone and take some fucking sun. for all my beautiful black angels, we all know that our afros grow towards the sun. you notice how when ppl start to get locs, they get thicker like a tree branch? while afros grow like a tree itself. we are nature. go out to the sun and let it bless your beautiful melanated skin and incredible afro hair. for everyone now: go have fun in the sun. humans are not meant to stay at home all day on they phone like stop being stupid and take a walk wherever.

dont worry and dont plan. just do and it will be exciting believe me.

4. love your beautiful black hair.

when i was little, i didnt know how to take care of my pretty type 4 hair bc my mom didnt have the same hair type as me. i would always look at the girls with straight hair or loose curls and wonder why i dont have that hair type. now im in love with my hair bc i learned to take care of it. the tight curls, the way i can put it in twists or cornrows or leave it in an afro. my hair is so versatile! theres no way i cant love it. idc if ppl call ur hair “difficult” or “too hard” or “ugly”… thats bc they will never know what its like having perfect hair like this. they could neva compare and thats a fact. it took me years to love my hair and i wish all little black babies grow up to know how perfect they hair is.

black barbie hair tips:

get a moisturizing shampoo and deep conditioner. i recommend companies like shea moisture, mielle organics, camille rose naturals, kinky-curly, and there are more just research and try which ever works for your hair

soak your hair in warm water and massage your scalp. use your shampoo and scrub with your finger tips not your finger nails (or else you can get cuts). shampoo 2-3 times.

put ur deep conditioner and when you detangle ur hair, use your fingers and detangle in small sections. do not use a small comb. use a wide tooth comb if you want. then, you can put ur hair in twists and put a cap on or steam it in the shower so that the deep conditioner moisturizes your hair.

rinse and use a moisturizing cream / leave in conditioner and put it on ur hair in sections and comb thro. do big or mini twists to lock in product.

when you have on an afro, do not pick your curls and pull it. this can cause breakage and split ends. when you have twists on, water your beautiful hair with water and some product in a spray bottle everyday / few times a week. think of your hair like a plant, you have to water and care for it.

when you take out your twist of any other protective styles, take your time to reduce breakage. and its better to detangle hair when it has conditioner in it. try using pre-shampoo when detangling dry hair.

spend time understanding your hair. thats how special it is. love it bc its raw black beauty.

everyones hair is different so what i do for my hair and the products i use will not always work you. research your hair porosity and hair types. a hair care journey starts off messy at times but the more it lasts, the easier it gets. you can start off hating your hair but you will soon realize how much of a perfect prize it is 💋

© msperfect777

[10001gecs]

congrats on arm!!! also no worries if you don't want to talk about your workout routine but do you have any tips for how to get started working out if you're new to it? i want to feel stronger but feel really overwhelmed and unsure where to start!

ok so actually yes as someone who’s tried to like working out for YEARS I have so many thots basically

1. Get a gym membership. I know you CAN work out at home but personally it’s way harder for me bc im like. Ok I COULD be working out rn or I could just stop and go play some video games. If ur at the gym tho it’s like ok im already here so I might as well

2. Spend like, a month literally just hanging out at the gym. Like I went in without a plan and just did random machines for an hour until I got tired. And this was rly important for me bc it turned working out from like, “something I have to do and it hurts and I have to do a prescribed regimen every time” into just a fun thing I do for as long as I wanna. I like to think of it as enrichment in my hamster enclosure. If you get any visible progress here it’s also a slay because that’s encouragement!

3. ONLY WHEN you’ve done these things get an actual workout program. I tbh just stole one from someone I know who’s buff as fuck. Don’t be afraid to modify it, too. My friend is strong and has been going to the gym forever so he does a bunch of barbell stuff… which is scary to me. So instead I just do machines that work basically the same thing (eg bench press -> machine chest press).

4. Form is basically the most important thing, bc otherwise ur working the wrong muscles. And at least personally as a beginner, when I was getting my form wrong, it was usually bc I was trying to lift too much, my muscles couldn’t manage it, so my form slipped so other muscles could take over. Like, after a while of doing bicep curls, your forearms might start to take over the load. If you take ur thumbs from curling around the bar to sitting underneath it, you can stop that. For every new machine I did for a while I’d put the weight at like, 10 pounds, and just focus on getting the form right. This is also fun bc it feels more like enrichment. Wheee im pulling levers and such!

5. Nutrition. Eat a lot of protein. Like the amount u think u should be eating and then double that. Ppl recommend .7-1 g of protein per pound of body weight (im starting from a higher body fat %, so I can eat closer to the .7 range… which is nice bc otherwise ur eating SO MUCH). Like, again, don’t freak out about it, the most important thing is that ur going at all… but once it becomes something u enjoy, you wanna make sure you’re not doing a bunch of work and then not giving ur muscles the nutrition they need

So basically overall my advice is like, make going to the gym easy and fun before you make it useful. Like, you can do the best workouts of your life but if it sucks, you’re not gonna do it consistently. Once u break the habit, you’ll never pick it back up. If you make it fun first, you want to go… and you can always make it more difficult later. If you ever notice it not being fun, give it a break and figure out how to make it fun.

Also basically nobody is looking at you in the gym ever. Also I specifically got a membership to a gym that has really low membership bc I hate fighting for machines and I hate feeling like ppl are looking at you (they’re not, but I hate the feeling). My planet fitness is 24/7, and for a while I went at like, 11pm bc it was empty.

[basilone]

Gale/Lottie intimacy? In this economy? Yeah. Content warnings for suicidal ideation, bad coping skills, abusive home life, etc. apply. Lottie's at rock bottom and we're about to feel it real hard.

I will fall (if you come around)

Darlene’s words are a blur on paper. Ink stains and faint loops, a folded corner, hard presses of pen becoming light as a feather near the edges of the page. Lottie’s fingertips run across her signature – she can make out the Dar if she tries hard enough, softens her fingers enough – but she hasn’t a hope of deciphering the rest anymore. Maybe that’s for the better, too. She knows what it says. Has read it at least fifteen times between Max shoving it at her and the last light going out.

It’s not fully dark in here. Never is. If she tries, she can hold the letter up to the slivers of moonlight that filter through their makeshift curtains. If she angles herself just right, she’ll see the way affection blurs with anger in Dar’s writing again. If she puts in the effort, she’s sure she can brush her tears off her cheeks and read what Dar says for the sixteenth time today. Her letter’d sounded like Dar was right there, foregoing all kinds of proper grammar and landing at a place that’s quintessentially her instead. Like Dar was just talking to her – buzzing in her ear, laughing and crying and hurtin’ all at once – instead of writing to her.

Lottie folds the letter back into a smaller packet than how it’d first been folded. Tucks it in the blanket Benny’s got her stitching up, in that little pocket that’ll be hidden if she crafts it just right. She’ll keep Dar’s words in there instead of under her fingertips. Maybe they’ll disappear from her head the longer they’re in there. Maybe she’ll stop thinking I hope you’re real happy now while the back of her hand grows wet with tears. Maybe she’ll stop hearing I wish I realized how much ya wanna die while her stomach loops into endless knots.

She stifles the hurt same way she always does. Digs her nails into the palms of her hands. Wishes she still kept them long enough to draw blood, but she hasn’t kept them that way for ages. She doesn’t make a sound. The pressure of wanting to scream builds in her eyes long enough to make them sting. Bubbles up and down her throat like a whole slew of champagne. There’s a bite to pain that doesn’t ever feel like alcohol’s fizz. A sharp snap in her belly that makes her fists curl and makes her hunch in on herself.

Her mother would call her wounded. Would say that with the same amount of distaste she had for the dying parakeet and her uncle’s drunk driving. You were born to it, Charlotte. Born to this violent nature. Wasn’t that what her mother’s letter had said? It’d read like a goddamn condolences card – so sorry, my daughter is dead to me – written by somebody who’d done her damndest best to pass heaven’s judgment down to her a little too early.

She doesn’t know where that letter’s gone. She’d left it out on the table. Hadn’t even read past your father and I are most disappointed by your conduct and certainly hadn’t read beyond the Rivers-Mayhew family expresses no further desire to accommodate you in future. It’s all fancy speak for don’t you dare come home. It’s all talk for you have embarrassed us for the last fucking time, which seemed a little more definite than usual. Lottie knows she hasn’t been mentioned on Christmas cards for at least six seasons and counting, now, so she kind of wonders what the hell else they’re gonna do. Cut her out of several wills, most likely. Not open the door to her on Thanksgiving, if she’d ever bother to swing by. She’s already dropped the Mayhew part of her name, so what else is left to discard?

Lottie scrapes her throat in the quiet. Wipes at her cheeks again, a little harder than before. Makes her skin tingle with warmth a moment. Nobody close to her stirs from their bed at her sound. Little One-Eye and Max are curled around each other in the next bunk, supposedly all cried out. She can make out the line of John Brady’s shoulders, who never faces the room but always faces Perrault, and the heavy set of Bucky’s shoulders as well. If she glances up, she’ll see Benny’s hand dangle over the side of his bed like he’s searching for Dar to pull close to him.

Dar deserves that. Deserves somebody like Ben, who’ll curl around her letters and sleep on top of them just because they carry her scent. Deserves somebody who’ll love her so much better than Lottie can. Ben’s been talking about marrying her the moment he gets out, as if their current imprisonment is the only unfortunate setback he can ever see in their whole relationship. She’ll say yes. She’d told Benny that, earlier. Had forced the words out of her throat because they had to be said, had to be talked about. Because it was all she could read between the lines of Dar’s letter. All of that…

She sniffles again. Louder this time, as though the hurt can’t help but bubble up and make noise. She used to get shut in her room for making a sound like that. Used to have to stomp down on it so hard before her mother heard her, lest she was spoonfed some cough medicine and made out to be that sickly child again. Everything had always been about her mother, and when it could only be about Lottie there would be hell to pay for it somehow.

It’s all about me now, mama.

Lottie hunches in on herself. Tucks her chin to her knees and hugs her legs until she feels small again. If she makes herself small enough, maybe there won’t be anybody to see her hurt. Maybe it won’t be all about her, then, and she won’t need to hurt herself more. Maybe things will start making more sense once that letter pops back up on the table long enough to tell her there’s no going home and there’s no going back and there’s no…

There’s a tap on her ankle.

“Hey.”

She blinks at the rasped greeting. It sounds almost groggy, as if he just wandered straight out of his bunk mid-slumber and landed himself here. Like he’s still asleep, or at least the part of him that forgot he doesn’t greet her anymore is.

“Hi,” she exhales.

Gale Cleven folds himself into her space while she’s still busy rubbing her cheeks free of tears. Her elbow meets some part of him – she can feel the resistance, the lack of give – but he doesn’t make a sound at that. He simply bundles up in the space between her and her pillow as though that’s the sanest place for him to be.

“You need new socks,” she breathes, spotting the telltale hole near his little toe. “Fuck, Gilly, why’re you always wearin’ them old rags”– she knows why, but she’s still gonna fuss about it –“you’re gon’ catch your death like that.”

“Benny’s making me some.”

She turns her head sideways to study him. He’s copying the way she’s seated – arms wrapped around his legs, head on his knees – and even his hair seems to fall into the same kind of messy tousle as hers. His eyes gleam in the dim light. Lottie thinks she’d be able to draw him from memory alone. Thinks she’d capture that little quirk of his mouth that he always has when he’s unsure of what to say next. Thinks she’d translate his hand gestures in a small flurry of motion, so at odds with how calm his hands are in the air.

“I burned your letter,” he says, then, and she has to look away. He scrapes his throat. “The one from your mother.”

That’s all right, she wants to say. Not a great loss. Her words feel stuck. Like they are pressed against her voice but not entering it, not forming familiar shapes in her mouth. She wants to talk over how soft he’d sounded, even though it’d felt like a whole weight in his speech at the same time. Wants to land in a place where Gale doesn’t understand.

A sob wrenches free from her lungs instead.

It’s ugly. Twisted. Fierce despite how much she tries to bite it back. Maybe worse because she’s clenching her hands into fists at the same time. Always made worse because she fights the sound, the break, the point where she almost shatters. Wounded, her mother’s voice scathes. Wounded, wounded, wounded.

“Sshh, Squeak,” he hushes. “Sshh, it’s all right.” He sounds like he believes it. Sounds the way he had when she’d gotten shot, before he’d realized the shot had been meant for him. Calls her Squeak again like he never stopped, like he hasn’t been referring to her as Ace since she got here. “Hey, you’re okay”– she’s not, but it’s almost admirable how certain he sounds –“c’mere.”

She hasn’t a hope of fighting her tears when his hand lands warm in her neck and his other hand cups her cheek. The noise that escapes her is the ugliest whimper she’s ever uttered, but all it does is make him hush her more in that same tone. She wants to fall against him. Wants to lean into his hands, even though it feels like that might jinx the whole feeling and make it hurt worse. Wants to exist in a place where she’s allowed to hurt, even if it’s just for a little while.

“W-W-Why?” she blubbers, desperately trying to keep her voice from breaking too loudly.

“It wasn’t constructive. The letter.”

“It’s my m-mother, Gilly.” Of course it ain’t constructive when it’s her. Of course it’s worth burning. “Had worse from her.”

He hums at that. Unfolds from his position only to huddle closer to her. One leg under her knees. One leg at her back. He thumbs at her cheek as he jostles closer to her, as though he means to wipe some of her excess tears away. He’s kicked her blanket away to the foot of her bunk. She can’t reach Dar’s letter now without leaning away from his touch.

She doesn’t want to lean away.

“You didn’t need to read that again,” he murmurs, so close to her ear that it’s like she’s hearing him over comms. “Your mother’s not right, Squeak. Never has been.”

“You n-never met her.”

“Lucky for her.”

She hiccups once. Chances a glance at him. “What’d you do,” she wonders out loud, seeing the set of his jaw, “if ya did?”

“Tell her I don’t know how her daughter ended up being good when she’s all wicked like that.”

“Gilly…”

“Lot.” His fingers brush a stray tear off her cheek. He doesn’t meet her eyes, not now that so much hangs in the balance between them. “You saved my life.”

She shrugs at that. Doesn’t even really feel the sting in her shoulder anymore. Doesn’t feel like it was anything special. They’d all die for him – every last one of these men and women would, without thinking twice about it – but somehow she’s the one who almost did. She’s the one who made that call. Took a bullet for him just like that, just because it was more important for him to live. For him to survive this fight.

“I had to,” she whispers, leaning into his touch as much as she dares. “You matter, Gilly. All right? I just…”

“And then,” he murmurs, ignoring everything she says that could lead to an argument down the road, “I crashed. Without you.”

A phonecall at the flak house. Doctors and nurses she’d had to fool into thinking she’s just fine and dandy. Nights curled around Meatball because he wouldn’t stop howling and Dar couldn’t look at him without burstin’ into tears. Knowing she would’ve been there if she hadn’t saved his life. Would’ve been in that seat beside him rather than Benny. Benny’d still be with Darlene if…

She swallows. “That was mighty stupid of ya.”

“Yeah.” His laugh is so soft she has to strain to hear it. “Yeah, it was.”

“If we get a do-over in life,” she whispers, “that’s the one.”

“You’re here now,” he says instead, as if those weeks… As if that’d been anything close to all right. “That was real stupid of you.”

She snorts a little at that. Can’t refute it. Can’t very well say it wasn’t when she spent the better part of those weeks angling for the right way to crash. The right place to land. Calculating where he might be and taking any mission in the area. Thinking she might come to rest beside him, body to body, hearts buried in the same place because hers felt like it was about to stop beating anyway. Not a tomb in the sky, like they’d talked about, but something harder. Something real.

Something that hurt.

I wanted to die, but then you were alive and I had to find a way to breathe again. “I’m here now,” she exhales.

His exhale sounds like it could be her twin. “It’s real hard to stay mad at you, Squeak.”

She flinches with the sting of that. She’s seen Gale’s anger. It’d been Brady and Max catching her after she’d walked through the gate. It’d been the Russian – Petrov, blonde and angelic and somehow all-knowing – who’d talked her through the camp and taught her where to look and what to see. It’d been Bucky following her like a dog off its leash, almost as if he wanted to nudge her into speaking with the one person who couldn’t even look her in the eye.

She’s carried the brunt of Gale’s rage all along. Is scrubbed raw by it. Taking the bullet. Taking the plane. Telling herself it’s for him when it’s for her, too. She knows his anger like she does her own. Doesn’t want to be the one to leave first. Doesn’t want him to leave first. Doesn’t want there to be any leaving.

“You’ve been doin’ just fine being mad,” she sniffs. Bites her lip because that’s one more thing she can’t take back. “It’s all right, Gilly,” she whispers, swallowing again, “I’m used to…”

His arms wrap around her, then, choking the last of her words off. “None of it is all right.” And I’m not fine. She hears it in his ragged breath, so close to her ear. Feels it in the ache of his too-tight squeeze. “But we gotta be fine, Lot, you and me,” he says, as if he still believes they can be. “We gotta be…”

She lets herself fall. Lets herself move to the side, against his shoulder. Doesn’t apologize, just like he doesn’t, because being held like this is something you can’t let happen when you’re mad at somebody. Because she knows him – knows that little tug on her hair, that tap to her ankle, that sigh that says he’ll forgive her again – and he still knows her. Maybe he’s the only one that really does.

“Stay, Squeak,” he murmurs, quietening her further. “Stay with me, you hear?”

Lottie no longer knows how to be anywhere he isn’t.

[hekateinhell]

you already know why i’m here. our house chapter seven please please please i’m nothing

I do know LMAO. As soon as I wrote it, I knew if anyone asked for it, it was going to be you. 🥹 So this would have been the immediate next chapter after what's already up on ao3. I started writing this version I think September 2022 and I just never continued?

We've seen Armand explore his feminine side and his relationship to that a bit already, so in this chapter, I wanted to focus on his more masculine side just for a minute. I also wanted to illustrate a bit of their lives outside of each other. I'll just put everything I have in the doc here, just for you! ♥️

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

“Well, I think it’s cute,” Daniel bent down to press a kiss to Armand’s scruffy cheek, the first time in four years he’d ever actually seen the product of Armand forgoing shaving for an entire week.

It took a moment’s getting used to; not quite a five-o-clock shadow anymore, not quite a beard yet, darker than the auburn on his head by a couple tones.

Armand sighed, shifting so that his lips caught Daniel’s, more touching, resting in place, than kissing. “I wish you could work home from today,” he whispered. “I keep thinking something’s going to happen. I know I’m crazy but…” Armand trailed off, his forehead coming to rest against Daniel’s shoulder. Daniel gently rubbed his back, feeling the tension he was carrying.

“I know, baby,” hard for Armand not to be tense these days, given everything. “It’s a short day for me, and then I’ll meet you at Dr. Lydia’s at 3:30?”

He tangled his fingers through Armand’s wild hair, trying to soothe him as if he were one of the cats. Armand hadn’t felt the house in a week, and it showed. Decided he could delegate the physical tasks to a temp and do everything else virtually.

Daniel didn’t think it was depression, exactly. Armand certainly seemed happy and animated whenever Daniel was around. He still showered, ate, and slept. His appetite, in regards to food and sex, was as healthy as could be. He wasn’t starved for company either; in fact, Daniel hadn’t come home to an apartment with less than five people in it all week.

Some people he knew well, some he didn’t. Bianca, Laurent, Felix, Santiago. Armand’s European friends. As soon as Daniel’s key turned in the lock, the crew cleared out with an overlapping chorus of hellos and goodbyes — did nobody work anymore? Daniel had asked and Armand had shrugged and said, “They get by, I suppose.” Then he hurled himself at Daniel, demanding to be carried to the bedroom for a pre-dinner romp.

It seemed to Daniel he was getting laid a lot lately. There had always been a disparity in their libidos, once the honeymoon phase wore off. And to be fair, when they’d met, Daniel was trying and failing at AA and snorting conspicuous amounts of coke to compensate. He might as well as have been on Viagra those first three months. Set some very unrealistic expectations, bit of false advertising and all that.

They hadn’t clued right away after he’d started NA, because for the first time in his life, this wasn’t a relationship he wanted to escape from. He wanted to do better, see what might happen if he showed up as his best, sober self.

Only Armand’s whining and bouncing on his lap, overlappingly sleep-deprived and aroused because Daniel’s been fucking his brains out since midnight and it was 3 AM and couldn’t they go one more round please oh please? Just like last time and the time before that and the time before that!

What was different tonight?

It had been so weird to say, looking down at his limp dick that was doing most of the talking as it was, “It doesn’t wanna work, babe, I don’t know what to tell you.” Hadn’t run into this problem in years.

Armand gave him a childish pout that Daniel was sure was more real than fake. He’d rolled off him and curled by his side, pressing his face against Daniel’s neck. Giggling when he said, “I ought to give you a hickey,” like they were teenagers.

“Go for it.”

He did, sucking hard at the skin on Daniel’s throat, subconsciously and then not-so-subconsciously humping Daniel’s hip until he finished a fourth time with a low, deep moan, finally satiated and worn out.

Lucky it was January, seeing as Daniel had to wear turtlenecks for the next two days after Armand had massacred him. The little vampire.

“I’m not sure I can keep up with you,” he’d mumbled over the cereal the next morning.

“What are you talking about?” Armand’s smiling at him, having opted to bring his chair beside Daniel’s instead of staying at the opposite end.

It hurt a bit to say, “What if I can’t keep with you, like with your sex drive, and you just get bored of me?”

“You can’t be serious!” Armand laughed before the look on Daniel’s face stopped him cold. “Danny,” he reached for Daniel’s much larger hand, intertwining their fingers and pressing their palms together.

“Danny, look…” He stared down at the granola in front of him, as if it might grant him the strength to get through what he was about to say. “I like you. I am a lot, I know that! But I don’t need you to ‘keep up with me’. I’m perfectly capable of keeping up with myself.”

[jessicalangeswife]

Salvatore Sister

Warnings: Smut, strap ons, lots of sex.

synopsis: your damon and stefans sister, whats gonna happen when people find out your dating Fiona Goode?

up until a few months ago, fiona had never heard of you. Damon and Stefan never talked about you. but. they had to explain themselves when you showed up. fiona was incredibly confused. but she introduced herself. and somehow along the way, you fell in love. of course, your relationship was a secret. nobody was gonna accept you dating fiona. a witch and a vampire? nobody was gonna let you be together. but you were both so happy.

but damon and stefan suspected something. the hickeys on your neck. and lipstick on your cheek in the shade that fiona wears. along with her perfume lingering on your dress. damon was all for it, he was always your favorite sibling. but stefan? he hated every bit of it. so he wanted to confront you about it. so, when you got home late at 3 in the morning all disheveled and with hickeys on your neck. stefan walked over to you. “are you dating fiona?” he asks. “uhm. yes..” you say. “shes a witch, y/n. your a vampire.” he says angrily. about to do something before damon walks in and stops him. “just let them be together. shes happy.” damon says.

“thank you damon.” you say. he smiles a bit. he and stefan walk away. you call fiona. “hello?” she says in that really beautiful voice of hers. “hey fi..” you say. “well hello there, baby.” she says. she’s obviously smiling (and secretly blushing.). “fiona. stefan and damon found out about us.” you say. “finally.” she says. letting out a breath. “i dont wanna hide us anymore..” she says. “i know.. we dont have to now.” you say. “mm. thankfully..” she says. “baby. i miss you.” she says. you giggle a bit. “ive only been gone for 10 minutes.” you say. “i know..” she says. theres a knock at your door. “hold on.”

you open the door. there she is. fiona fucking goode. “seriously fiona.” you say. she laughs before coming inside. kissing you. “i cant stay away from you..” she says. picking you up and bringing you to your room. laying you on the bed. “mmph.. fiona what if they hear—“ she cuts you off by kissing you. unzipping your dress for the second time in one night. she unclasps your bra and slides off your panties. you unzip her dress. and thankfully shes wearing nothing underneath. as usual. you smile. she kisses your neck. you flip her over and get on top. kissing her collarbone.

she smiles. moaning softly. you kiss down her body. making your way to her wetness. you kiss her thighs. being a tease. “mm.. dont tease me y/n salvatore.” she says. you laugh. beginning to lick up her wet pussy. she moans. tangling her hands in your hair. you suck her clit. she moans louder. “fingers baby..” she says. you slide two fingers inside of her. she throws her head back and arches her back. grinding her pussy against your mouth and fingers. you curl your fingers. she screams. “oh god y/n! im so close!” she moans. you speed up your movements. and its not long before shes cumming. she pants a bit. her eyes closed. she keeps her eyes closed. panting. that was one of the best orgasms of her life. while her eyes are closed you slide on your strap on.

“we arent done yett fi.” you say. she smiles. half lidded eyes. she spreads her legs open more. “fuck me..” she says. you laugh a bit before sliding inside. she moans. shes still sensitive from her first orgasm. you thrust. she moans your name. “fuck me harder..” she moans. you do as she says. beginning to pound into her. her eyes are rolled back and shes moaning loudly. she drags her nails down your back. encouraging you to fuck her. you pull back before slamming back in. she screams your name. you pound into her as shes screaming your name over and over. “y/n! oh god y/n!” she screams. “im gonna cum!” she cries out. “go ahead baby. cum for me.” you say. she orgasms. and the lightbulbs shatter. she kisses you deeply. just as your about to pull out she stops you.. “no.. please.. i want more..” she says. you smile. sliding back in. about 10 hours later she finally let you stop. you lay next to her. she rests her head on your chest.

“i love you..” she says. kissing your lips. “i love you too baby..” you say. she smiles. its daylight now. she traces patterns on your chest. damon walks in. “if your gonna have sex can you atleast be quiet? im trying to sleep.” he says. you laugh. “we’ll try next time.”. he rolls his eyes before leaving the room. “was i loud?” fiona asks. “you were kind of screaming fi.” you say. she laughs. “you tend to have that affect on me.” she says. kissing your neck. “do i?” you ask. “yeah..” she says. straddling you and sinking down onto your strap on. oh its gonna be a long day.

[sleepinginpanic]

Nunemaker’s Parable by Everyone’s worried about Owen is Chip coded.

It’s so Chip coded and if I knew how to animate I’d make a animation about Chip with this song

Also Spoilers for JRWI riptide and analysis below

V V V V V

Ok for the like analysis 

“There was a wanderer who found his way to God

Or maybe it was Lucifer under some false facade

Broken down and tattered

Compound fractures in his sleeves

Shoe soles nailed together

But he never seemed to bleed

With one desperate push

His poor diaphragm forced out a plea”

Let’s be honest, Chip doesn’t look good. He has been several times described as haunted. With all the battles and things he’s seen, he’s probably constantly kinda dirty and his clothes are probably kinda ruined. Also maybe some 109 spoilers for his looks here (specially with the last three lines)

“He said: One home burned down, one fell apart

One met a flood, and one was nothing from the start

Weapons build against me, well they all seem to fail

But weapons built against my home

They always will prevail”

The one that burned down was the orphanage with Price. The flood is the Black Rose pirates. Nothing from the start is where ever he came from before joining the black rose pirates, his birth family. One that fell apart is his first ship, the chipper (I think that’s the name).

“So leave me my liver and leave me my skin

Leave me the way all those other homes did

But leave me a soul, only by definition

I don't want to feel anything

My neurons are snapping like cat gut strings

A symphony of agony

I don't wanna hear and I don't wanna sing

I don't wanna breathe incompletely

I am mourning

I am morning

So break me anew”

This just feels very Chip. He’s mourning a lot, the black rose pirates mostly. (Also Episode 109)

“Well, I'll find every sick fuck I can

And I'll make them a deal

With no conscience, I'll make money and

I'll lie and cheat and steal

And that money won't bring happiness

But let me ask what does

'Cause I've found a place, and those sick fucks

Well, they turned it to dust

And if I can't have justice

I might as well join the unjust”

His deal with Niklaus, Price, becoming a pirate in general. So much of just hiding behind the role of a bastard.

“The floorboards smelled like lemonade

Prepared for our arrival

The air was clean and crisp

Just like a tonic for survival

Well, I wrote my name in charcoal

On the bathhouse where we cried

So now I'm broken fundamentally

And nobody gets why”

This about the albatross. Him carving big chipper into the ship. Also replace lemonade with orange juice.

“So give me what drugs you got, give me your meds

Give me a cocktail to sedate my head

Abandon all hope of my moral salvation

They already took that from me”

I don’t have a part about the drugs but I do about the morals. Chip doesn’t have very strong morals when it comes to lying, stealing, stuff like that, but he did about killing. Yet he loses this moral when he gives up his memory of why he has this moral. He has been said to be a sinner several times, to be past saving really when it comes to his sins.

“The sky was an angel of morning's heat

With languid, shiny curls of aquamarine

And when I close my eyes and when I dare to dream

When I think I might shatter completely

I can feel them in my hands

But I can't go back again”

Angle could be Chip speaking celestial. Though this part I think goes better with him talking about Gillion and Jay. As well as the nightmares he had with everything burning, including his friends.

“My neurons are snapping like cat gut strings

A symphony of agony

I don't wanna hear and I don't wanna sing

I don't wanna breathe incompletely

I am mourning

I am morning

So break me anew

Turns out that the God he found was just a little girl

Sitting on a swingset

Just a little girl

She said "Mister, you look tired

I will let you go, but first

I think that what you're asking for

It just might make things worse"

This part right here about the little girl, that’s Chip talking to Ollie. Ollie is the little girl in the song. Chip sees Ollie as like a better version of kid him. He sees what Arlin saw in him in Ollie. Ollie is like a reminder of his childhood.

Also I feel like For Sad Strange Little Man is also Chip coded.

[sargewood]

IM STARING SOOOO INTENTLY AT canon(ish?), logan loves benny and later sarah but feels like a homewrecker

ok this one i can already tell is going to be my legit baby so here's a few pieces of it so far <33 i'll probably decide later on down the road if benny comes back after he leaves or not but idk yet! i might make him and sarah logan's wags and let elias keep his job lol

“But this is our dream?” (Logan) “No, Logan, this is your dream. I want to be a father. I want to be a family with Sarah.” (Benny) Logan reels back like he's been smacked. “Oh. I get it. I'm not a part of this like I thought I was then.” (Logan) “Logan, I didn't mean it like that. You have to know I didn't mean it like that!” (Benny) “I thought this would be better, but it’s not.” (Benny) “We tried, right?” Logan curls in on himself, feels impossibly small. Just wants Benny to say this ever meant something, anything to him like it did Logan. “We did try.” (Benny) “I know we were waiting to see if it would get better once we made it to F1, but it’s just not getting better. I think we both have to admit that.” (Benny)

“This is hard, but I think you were right. You should go be a dad to Kobe and Nala, spend time with Sarah.” “I won’t stop you, but are you sure Logan?” Logan nods. “Yeah, I can’t keep taking you away from your family. It’s not fair.” “You’re my family too, Logan. Whatever happens, I need you to remember that, yeah?” Logan nods to appease Benny, but he knows that Benny’s just saying that to make this easier, to make Logan feel better about essentially firing his trainer. Knows that eventually communication will peter out to obligatory texts and that Logan has to find a way to cope with that and move on. He can’t keep doing this to Benny or Sarah. He can’t destroy their actual family.

Logan’s phone lights up with the name ‘Sarah ❤️’ and the picture that the three of them took on the beach in Miami in 2023. Logan has a feeling as to why she’s calling, but can’t let it go unanswered. He couldn’t do that to Sarah, so he takes a deep breath and unlocks his phone. “Hello?” “Hi, love.” “Hi, Sarah,” Logan says. “You want to tell me what’s going on?” She asks gently. And something inside Logan breaks. Suddenly he’s sobbing down the phone with shuddering gasps racking his body, unable to catch his breath. “Hey, hey. You’re fine, babes. I need you to breathe for me.” He’s fucking trying, but his body just won’t cooperate. Sarah can hear him struggling, and it breaks her heart. “Do you need me to do anything?” Sarah asks. “No,” Logan chokes out. “Will you just talk? About anything, I don’t care.”

fuck it i'll include the playlist for this one too, it's more infidelity/guilt vibes but there are a few repeats

you signed up for this (maisie peters)

the blue (gracie abrams)

is there something in the movies (samia)

i know it won’t work (gracie abrams)

aeroplane (greer)

the other woman (lana del rey)

triptych (samia)

picture you (chappell roan)

coffee (chappell roan)

why did you marry (nataly dawn)

i don’t sleep well (hello saferide)

i do (reneé rapp)

high infidelity (taylor swift)

right where you left me (taylor swift)

go home (lucius)

don’t tell my mom (reneé rapp)

the kids don’t wanna come home (declan mckenna)

the one that got away (katy perry)

as long as we’re together (the lemon twigs)

why didn’t you say that? (the lemon twigs)

pool (samia)

to me it was (samia)

orange show speedway (lizzy mcalpine)

reckless driving (lizzy mcalpine)

called you again (lizzy mcalpine)

just dumb enough to try (father john misty)

nobody sees me like you do (japanese breakfast's version)

everybody does (julien baker)

your father (the front bottoms)

when u love somebody (fruit bats)

tornado warnings (sabrina carpenter)

things i wish you said (sabrina carpenter)

talking to strangers (maisie peters)

tough act (maisie peters)

bad decisions (bastille)

good lesson (bastille)

make me cry (noah cyrus)

fell in love without you (motion city soundtrack)

rewind (goldspot)

where’s my love (SYML)

meant to stay hid (SYML)

bottom of the ocean (miley cyrus)

not like the movies (katy perry)

grow as we go (ben platt)

same boat (lizzy mcalpine)

illicit affairs (taylor swift)

if you leave (orchestral manoeuvres in the dark)

also probably half of lizzy mcalpine's new album will end up on this list as well because that entire album is about logan and benny

[theamphibianmen]

Fuck I fucking hate "vacations" so much "let's just take any semblance of a routine and fucking shit on it" I'm used to not quite having my needs met but not to this extent and I can't ask to go home because I'm with my family and don't want to piss on their parade I'm already having to use my AAC so much more than usual because my mouth won't fucking cooperate with me and I just end up screeching at people whenever I try to talk but then when I use my AAC I feel like a fucking liar because "technically I can talk" except not really not right now but support needs aren't supposed to fluctuate but mine do and I'm taking resources away from people who really need them and I should just curl up into a tiny little ball on the floor and disappear and nobody is going to understand what I'm talking about because my grammar is gone to shit and I'm a liar and I don't even deserve to have my needs met and I just wanna go home

[television-pil0t]

The most serious I’ve ever been with myself.

I remember as a kid I would stay up at night crying. I would cry for hours. Seriously! Hours watching Dan and Phil. Reading fanfic about gamzee x reader. I’d cry because I do deeply craved someone to talk to me like that. Someone to look at me like Dan and Phil look at each other. I was stuck in my house 24/7. Talking to people online to fill the void of nothingness. Nobody lived near me. I was to scared to talk in school. When I did I was instantly sexualized. I hated how I was seen. I would go home and curl up in my bed under the covers and just.. read. “He held you close, holding you in his arms, rubbing your shoulders softly as his big soft hands held your head in his chest. For just a split second you felt safe. As if you never felt fear before. Your childlike naivety came back. You were ok here. You were safe here.” I so deeply needed that. I needed a fucking hug. I needed someone to love me so I looked everywhere for it. Sexualized myself because I knew that’s all I was see as. I mean shit I would get groped in the damn hallways of 8th fucking grade. I knew. I wasn’t dumb. I had everyone looking at me. Years go by. Same shit. I found x reader audios and would cry to hawks holding me at night. I promised myself “this is what I’ll do for someone else” I would be someone’s comfort audio. No matter what.

I never got my own irl comfort audio. I’m scared to speak and still I never talk about what’s on my mind. I put it here. Just hope to god nobody I know finds it. I never got to feel safe. I still want to be held and whispered to. I wanna be babied. I wanna be carried and told what to do next. I know im bad at making decisions for myself. The smallest acts of kindness impress me and so I can never move on. Im scared it will go away. Im scared to be alone. Im scared of being that unloved again. I don’t have much intimacy now but.. at least it’s a little. If I squint my eyes I can stop the tears when I feel unwanted and I can hold my breath when I wanna ask for more. I know I just wanna be loved more. When my bf is in his little 3 day moods to kiss on me and tell me how much he loves me randomly. Randomly asks me for things. I feel my heart ache. I know that’s all I want. I feel like he knows it too because he’s fully capable of doing it. It hurts. I’m hurt. I wanna be loved. Yet I feel like I don’t deserve it. I feel like I’m not even yet the same breath I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t love me. I’m amazing. I know how I wanna be treated and so I do that.

I would lay there late at night and hold my breath to make myself pass out so I could finally sleep. I was lonely. All alone. Now I’m just lonely. Some days are better than others but.. only when people FEEL like giving me the love and attention. I need constancy. Im scared I’ll never be able to trust anyone when they say they love me anymore. Im scared I’ll be venting on here forever because I have nobody to vent to irl. I don’t wanna be judged. I don’t want “Why am I not good enough” I wanna he heard and understood. I want someone to hear me out. I know how to loved I don’t know how to keep it.

I want to be constantly loved. Not “I wanna fuck you” I don’t care if you want my body. Tell me what you like about me. I don’t understand myself. I don’t see how anyone likes me. I’m sad.

I want to know. I hate crying myself to sleep but I should be used to it. My heart is restless. “Heal your inner child” god I’m trying I just need someone else to help me. Constantly help me. I can’t keep song on and off shit. I can’t do it. I can’t live like.. this. not just this post. All of this. Every day is scary. Even when I am being loved because I’m so scared it will be taken away form me without explanation. I can’t keep going like this.

I need someone. I need someone so bad it hurts. I need someone more than I ever have.

[metamorphosisme]

Curls hair, puts on makeup, and new dress to pick up my man. Not only does he not acknowledge me at all but as soon as we get home he jumps in the shower then half way threw calls me over. "Me and our daughter are going over ***s house for a bbq idk how many people is gonna be there but there will be kids ectect" after I say ok and a long pause he goes "you can come if you want"... I just said it ok and made up the excuse for taking care or the baby. I just had that gut feeling that he didn't want me there, it sucks, I thought I looked ok even though I gained 5lbs back... I just wanted to feel... alright? ... anyway Then right before I leave he goes "what did you do today?" I said worked, nothing why? He goes "you smell like a dog I keep gagging.".... broke my fucking heart dude... he did ask for a kiss but then left... back for another binge once he was gone... im so fucking sad man and if I show him I'm sad he gets mad it's so ridiculous.

When he gets home I'm sleeping on the couch and I open my eyes, he looks down at me and says "why do you have that fucking face on for already". Like 😭😭 legit all I did was open my eyes.... I just went upstairs away from him he was obviously drinking.. he's been drinking for about 3 or 4 months straight everynight.. only 6 16oz millers but the "only" is me trying to tell myself it's ok because he works.... how am I supposed to tell him to kick something when I can't even cut down my fucking eating... ive gained 5 pounds in 2 weeks. I legit feel like the fat I can see in my face, and my stomach is puffed out, like I see it and maybe that's why he's being mean to me again.... ha... another thing we were sitting on the couch he ate this peanut butter thing and threw half on a napkin on the table, time goes by so I broke a piece off to try and he looked at me horrified, " just because I didn't eat it doesn't mean I wanted you too"..... you think it would have been a sign...

Idk if he only likes me when I'm skinny because I only like me when I'm skinny but mam screaming sick kids, his bipolar / drinking, + trying to work and running a fucking house and running everywhere the fuck else everyday is tough man... I just wanna be happy so bad. My doctor just puts me on any new medication that's on the market, my therapist said I need a psychiatrist and a nutritionist, the psychiatrist won't call me back and the doctor shit needs to be done in secret because my man doesn't believe in that.... (he went to my doctor for his bipolar and he almost killed himself multiple times from the meds..) I've been debating ozemp or the off brands but I'm seeing A LOT of people having suey thoughts on it, it's like a whole underground thing nobody is talking about and it's not like self ouchy it's like felt so low one day did some crazy shit and is now in a coma... idk man I just don't know... I just ordered elevate from avantera to see if maybe that helps with my compulsions. I don't have add as far as I know because I can take an addi and feel my body pick up... could be wrong but I've always heard if you have add and you take one you get slow so trail and error I don't believe that's my case.. oy idk now im rambling to my damn self.. Hopefully I'll read this later and maybe it will give me the strength to be strong and not give in. Eating helps for a moment like a drug but the reprocussions of it are just foul... oh ha and side note deff the weight plus my sugar cuz I'm back to being in pain.. again omad I'm done I can't go on like this... lol no eating was so easy when I was able to just work and sleep all day haha now add having to make 10 meals a day not for yourself and everyone eating different shit on top of daily stress and cleaning... lol whole shit is wild...

[teddybeartoji]

"what's wrong with you?"

you groan into the pillow. everything is wrong. even the couch underneath you doesn't feel right anymore, even though it's where you've been rotting away for the past few hours. you can't understand what the man on the tv is saying, it's just static now. the light emitting from the screen paints the room in its colors; you're too tired to turn on the real lights at this point.

roomie!gojo chuckles at your reply. "and exactly what does that mean, hm?"

you refuse to look at him, curling deeper into the couch. this is gonna suck so bad.

"i need to ask you something. but i can't do it."

"how come?" he's leaning on the doorway, hands folded over his chest.

another groans disappears into the soft feathers of the pillow. "because you'd never let me live that down... but—" the third groan of the minute. "i bet it'd make me feel so much better. i know it would."

satoru laughs and it makes you take a peek at him. staring down at you – he looks good today. every day. he's wearing a white t-shirt and grey sweats. he's fresh out the shower, his hair still damp. you groan again. this isn't good. he looks so comfortable... and cozy.... but it's satoru fucking gojo. your annoying dipshit of a roommate – if you ask him, he will never let it go.

never.

"what the hell could you possibly talking about? if you wanted to make ou—"

he can't finish his sentence because the groan filled pillow is already flying towards his head. he catches it with ease and blinds you with a teasing smirk. you really do hate him (the butterflies in your stomach disagree).

"no, i don't wanna make out, satoru."

"then what do you want? c'mon, i know you wanna tell me. i can see you're just itching to do it. you know i'm such a good listener."

now you're just glaring at him, which only makes his smile widen.

are you gonna tell him what you want? what you've been thinking about all day long? are you gonna tell him about the thing you're sure would cure you from this miserable state of being.

his blue eyes are set on you but they're softer than usual, more tired than usual too. fuck it, maybe this'll do him some good aswell.

...

"can you— can you hug me?"

beat.

time slows. satoru blinks. the tv in the background goes quiet, only the flickering colors stay dancing on his face. the corners of his lips twitch. there's a glimmer in his eyes.

you fucked up.

"what was that? can you say that again for me? i didn't quite catch that." he's evil. he's mean. he's the most vile man in the and yet it's his warm touch you desire. crave.

fourth groan. fifth? you did this to yourself, there's nobody else to blame.

"okay, whatever. fuck off. i hate you." you turn around on the couch, your back now facing him. you're safe as long as you don't have to see him—

you feel the couch dip behind you. satoru's bodyheat is already overpowering yours, making you feel extra warm. or maybe you're just blushing? who knows.

his breath tickles your ear. it makes you squirm.

"aww, my baby wants a hug, hm? you wanna cuddle? we can do that, all you had to do was ask, you know."

my baby.

"you suck." you can't come up with anything better than that, mind already hazy from him being so close. a quiet mhmm is what you get in return.

his warm hand snakes around your middle, the other looks for a spot and it finds one right under your head. his chest presses up behind you as he molds himself to fit against you like a puzzle piece.

and just as you suspected – this feels fucking amazing. it feels safe, it feels warm, it feels like home. all the worries and problems your day had brought you, washed away in a mere second. satoru nuzzles his face into your hair. you're sure he just sniffed your hair, but you don't comment on it. atleast not now.

...

"rough day?"

his voice is quiet, gentle and it makes you sink deeper into him. you answer with a simple nod and he replies with a hum, coming from deep within; it reverberates from his chest, through your back, slipping between your ribs and engulfs your heart like a warm blanket.

"rough day?"

you copy him, matching his tone. he nods. you hum.

home.

[devcted]

"oh..." she frowns, not because upset with what he said so much as she feels bad for the assumptions she made. she thought regulus wanted to be in that relationship, that he was interested in daphne greengrass and he could never be with someone like bee. but it turns out she had him all wrong...it was daphne he never wanted. "that seems a bit medieval don't you think?" she frowns "high school is supposed to be the time in our lives we're figuring ourselves out isn't it? what we like and what we don't like...your parents shouldn't mess with that especially if you don't exactly like daphne romantically." she bites down on her bottom lip a little trying to hold back the smile as soft eyes flicker up at him. "does that mean someone is worth breaking them?" she says shyly and hopefully.

she made a few friends at this school, hannah and astoria mostly as well as keeping in contact with neville and luna back at home but nobody compared to the excitement she felt when she was around regulus, it felt like she could talk to him for hours and he never seemed to grow tired of her even when she rambles or gets lost in something shes excited about, regulus would just listen and smile as if what she has to say actually mattered. she knows she shouldn't but she found herself falling for him quickly in the short time they've been around each other...she just never imagined the day would come that he told her he wanted her too.

bee giggles at his words shaking her head. "astoria would love but I would never break evan's heart like that. promise." she teases him playfully, feeling a little more relaxed as now that she's with him in this room, his hands and lips all over her body making her feel like she finally entered heaven.

she's a little embarrassed at the way she lost herself, wondering if it's obvious she's not experienced. bee never really liked a boy before, not to this extent ever. so she never felt the need to cross that boundary but with regulus it's almost like she needs it to breathe, to feel his skin against hers and his mouth on her skin in a way that makes her lose all sense, cursing and feeling embarrassed. it doesn't help when he teases her, the joke making her blush as her eyes shy away. "I didn't mean it like that...I mean, I wouldn't mind...doing that either...I just meant I don't wanna do anything to hurt you and your family." she says softly letting out a chuckle.

but words are cut off by his kiss, making her whimper at the feeling as she feels his tongue sliding into her mouth like that, the taste of him filling her mouth as she lets out another moan. it's so intense and she can't breathe but she almost doesn't want to either, she needs more of him, to feel his and all over her as her mind goes back to what he said about fucking. she knows it's wrong, that's like the number one sin and to do it in the house of god it seemed like a sure ticket to hell but both her mind and body didnt care enough to get her to stop as she kisses him desperately, moving her tonuge against his.

his next words make her shiver, a soft chuckle falling from her lips. "i think you're a lot wiser than whatever god there is...so I'm all ears." she whispers back, brushing her lips against his own as she kisses him deeper this time. a light gasp leaving her as he pulls she in, his fingers in her hair as he pushes her in deeper and she can feel her saliva dripping, making the kiss sloppy and messy for a long moment until he's pulling away again breaking the kiss so his lips can go back to that sensitive spot that made her lose it.

eyes roll in the back of her head, the suction of his lips and the warmth of his tongue making her knees feel like jelly. "o-oh fuck." she says again, feeling it so much that it's between her legs. "that feels....so...so good." she says weakly, letting her small fingers brush through the back of his curls. "y-you can touch me in other places...if you want."

“yes, well… we’re a couple because certain people want us to be.” he says moodily, because it does upset him that this is how his life has had to go. if it weren’t for the pressure of his parents, he could’ve asked bee out normally the moment she arrived at school and they would’ve enjoyed a first date without any meddling… but now they’re sneaking away in secret, regulus only hoping that she feels the same for him that he does for her. “it’s true that there are a lot of rules in our religion– she just wasn’t worth breaking any of them.” it’s harsh, but it’s how he feels. for some reason he feels compelled to be honest with her; like she would forgive him no matter what he said.

he smiles again at her sweet words, gaze trailing over her features as she tells him he’s one of her best friends here and she wants it to be more than fun. she even claims she’s jealous when he talks to daphne or the other girls, which makes him happier than it should. it pleases him even more hearing that she’s only been attracted to him, too– is this what soulmates are? maybe they were made for each other, never to find love until they found one another.

or maybe he’s a little crazy, because it makes him giddy that he has such a hold over her, such an unfamiliar feeling to him. he flourishes at the center of attention, always being the star in sports or academics, but he’s not used to caring so much about someone else in return. “you’re my favorite person, too– just don’t tell astoria or evan.” the warmth he feels for her is unlike anything he’s ever experienced and he wants to drown in it; be around her all the time.

she moans when his lips press against her neck, which is the best sound he’s ever heard. it makes him tremble a little, heat between his legs because he’s never been aroused like this. she’s beautiful, her body pressed against his as his hands grasp at her waist and his lips press kisses against her neck.

she’s trying to speak while he plants kisses there, stammering as she says she knows how important religion is to his family. but then he plants a wet kiss beneath her ear, on a tender spot on her neck, and she curses. quickly realizing what she’s done, she apologizes almost frantically, which makes him laugh softly. 

she keeps doing that– making him laugh. it makes something warm stir in his stomach, spreading through his body as his adoration of her grows. he wishes he could fuck her; put every ounce of passion he feels for her into each thrust inside of her. it’s hard for his hormone-ridden mind not to wander there, especially when she moans again as his lips kiss her neck messily. “really? that’s funny, because i wouldn’t hate to fuck,” he teases gently, only joking about the way her words came out when she was stumbling over them. mostly, he just wants to see her blush.

when she kisses him, he kisses back desperately, unable to believe that this is finally happening and not just in his head. she’s gorgeous and it makes everything all the better, a moan leaving him as their lips move together. her fingers slip through his hair, a sound escaping her as she presses her body against his own as if arching into him. the motion is so desperate and hot that he squeezes her throat a little, groaning at the rush of pleasure she causes. he’s too hard now, wishing he could fuck her yet again.

he hates when their lips part, already missing her kiss, but she makes up for it by making him chuckle again. he doesn’t know anyone else who would dare call god a ‘sadistic freak’ in his own domain. “yeah? would you listen to whatever i said?” he murmurs against her lips suggestively, before kissing her again.

she opens her mouth for him, allowing his tongue to swipe in, touching hers and making him moan again. the hand around her throat slides into her hair, knotting it in his fingers almost roughly as he forces himself deeper into her mouth, needing more. she tastes good, but the kiss feels good too, wet and soft. he slides his tongue against hers once more before pulling away, licking his lips.

one hand sliding up her waist and the other knotting into her soft hair, he bends his head down to press a kiss to her neck again. wanting to hear her reactions once more, he presses his tongue to her skin, licking upward slowly. waiting for her to moan, he drags his tongue up her neck, finally reaching her ear and licking her earlobe too. picking a spot just beneath it, he starts sucking, running his tongue over the area.

[wonderl3ss]

HOLAA!! can i req cloud strife with an s/o who rambles a lot and is very energetic and one day they’re like hanging out at seventh heaven and they’re doin their thing and rambling and someone tells them they talk to much?!?! and then they just go silent for a few days only giving short answers or speaking when needed, j just wanna see what he’d do in this situation 👩‍🌾

TY IN ADVANCED

pairing: cloud strife x gn!reader

a/n: tysm for the req !! sorry it took a while, but i hope it’s okay n what u wanted ! <33

your most noticeable trait was that you were extremely talkative. joining in with every conversation, even if it didn’t actually involve you. nobody had a problem with this as far as you knew, they all expressed that they enjoyed hearing you talk and ramble on about literally whatever.

cloud especially enjoyed this. he, on the other hand, was known for being quiet, usually only speaking when spoken to, or when the conversation was important and directly involving him. he swears he could listen to you talk forever and never get sick of your voice; just enjoying seeing the pure happiness and genuine smile on your face when you’re talking to him or the others.

you get especially chatty after a few drinks, though. tifa joked one night in seventh heaven that she was surprised you still manage to find things to talk about.

and that is where you, tifa, aerith and cloud all sit right now, drinks in hand, you mindlessly chatting away as they all listen intently on what it was that you had found so interesting today.

there were a couple other people sat in the bar too, so at times tifa had to leave the conversation to pour them drinks and whatnot.

gasping at a certain thing you suddenly remembered, you subconsciously clapped your hands together, unknowingly gaining the attention of a random man sitting at a table behind you all.

the man gave the back of your head a death glare before speaking up, “will you shut up? you talk way too fucking much, i’m getting a headache,” the slamming of his glass on the table caught your attention.

you turned around to look at him, his eyebrows were furrowed and his hand was tightly gripping onto his glass, you were afraid it was going to smash under the pressure. he was definitely annoyed.

“are you talking to me?” you ask, your voice slightly lowering. you weren’t expecting someone to raise their voice at you, and honestly, it hurt.

the look that cloud was giving the man would definitely kill him on the spot if that were possible.

“there’s nobody else in here talking as loud as you, is there? now shut up and let me drink in peace.” you didn’t feel like arguing so you left the conversation at that. you wondered if the man was doing your friends a favour in getting you to shut up.

suddenly the drink seemed more interesting than the conversation you were just having. aerith must’ve noticed a change in your mood as you turned back around to take another sip of your drink.

“are you okay?” she smiled, trying to lighten the mood a little in an attempt to get you to continue what you were talking about previously.

“i’m fine. but, i think i’m gonna go, i’m getting tired.” you thanked tifa for the drinks, waving goodbye to everyone before leaving and heading home.

to say the least, it got a lot louder in the bar after you left. neither cloud nor tifa were going to let the man slide with souring your mood like that. it didn’t seem like the man was going to be returning there ever again.

cloud left immediately after dealing with the situation and headed straight to your place. he didn’t bother with knocking — not that he even needed to.

he found you curled up in your bed, wrapped up in the covers with them pulled up right around your head. cloud wouldn’t have even noticed you were there if it weren’t for the sound of the sheets moving as you pulled them down to see who had entered.

“talk to me. what’s wrong?” he lay down next to you, pulling what little of the covers was left around him.

“i said i’m fine, just tired. i’m not in the mood to talk right now, i just want to sleep.” you whispered. cloud was sure that if you were any quieter he wouldn’t have heard you.

he didn’t want to push you to talk if you weren’t feeling like it; he assumed you would tell him in the morning when you were feeling better. he knows that personally, he wouldn’t want to be pushed into talking about something, so he didn’t force you.

there was only silence after that. just knowing cloud was there and that he loves and cares for you slowly calmed you to sleep. cloud eventually fell asleep shortly after he noticed you had.

in the morning he still didn’t push you to talk. he woke up before you and went on with the normal things he usually does in the morning, to allow you time to yourself to think about how you were going to talk to him.

except, the only thing you could think about was the words that man said to you. like a broken record, the words just played over and over in your head as you lay awake, staring up at the ceiling. you could hear cloud ever so slightly making noise now and again, which eventually made you think of him instead.

now, you felt guilty. guilty that you just wouldn’t speak to him because of something a stranger said. someone irrelevant in your life. so why should you listen to them? why would their opinion matter to you? — questions you were unable to find answers to.

you still didn’t feel like talking just yet, though.

deciding that you should probably actually get out of bed, you eventually pulled yourself up and into the bathroom to do whatever it was you did in the mornings.

walking into the kitchen you noticed cloud was sat at the table, daydreaming about who knows what. filling up a glass with water, you then sat opposite him, just staring at the water dripping down the sides of the glass before taking a sip.

“feeling any better?” cloud eventually spoke up, looking at you, his head slightly at an angle with a soft expression on his face.

you quickly glanced at him before going back to staring at the water. your voice just louder than a whisper, you replied, “yeah, i guess.”

the rest of the day was filled with cloud trying to talk to you, only for you to reply with short answers, and small conversations that you barely participated in, starting only when other people spoke first — usually, you were the one starting every conversation.

once again, you fell asleep in silence, and also woke up in silence.

currently, you were in the kitchen making something to eat. you had woken up before cloud, and feeling a lot better than yesterday, you got the motivation to actually make something for the both you to sit and eat.

while laying in bed this morning, cloud asleep next to you, it left you alone with your thoughts. however, this time they weren’t of those words from that man. you had now decided you weren’t going to let him affect you anymore.

cloud never slept in long, waking up not long after you. walking into the kitchen to see you actually up and smiling — as opposed to the last few days — was a little shocking to him.

“you seem to be feeling better. wanna talk now?” you jumped a little at the sudden sound of clouds voice.

“mhm, i realised it was stupid to let some stranger have this much affect on me,” you replied as you turned around to pass cloud the food you had made him.

“that’s good.“ cloud never was much of a talker, and as you both ate the rest of your food, cloud mostly silent, you realised you were going to be doing most of the speaking yet again.

[buckysimp101]

Love at First Grade (18+) - 10

Single Dad!Bucky Barnes x Single Mom!Reader; Teacher!Bucky x CEO!Reader

chapter warnings: fluff (it’s a warning okay!)

Series Masterlist

The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful for Bucky and his family. Bex grilled him the second YN and Avery left and Becca was occupied with Winnie. “Okay first of all, fucking rude of you to make me find out your girlfriend is the hottest CEO in the nation!” Bex whisper yelled at Bucky and before Bucky could even correct her that you technically weren’t his girlfriend she added, “i had to find out from STEVE ROGERS when he showed up after mom couldn’t get a hold of you!” Steve. Of course it was fucking Steve. 

“Punk really needs to learn how to keep his mouth shut,” Bucky grumbled, not looking at Bex because he knew those Barnes Blues would be glaring a hole into him. 

“Look, nobody else knows. We haven’t had the ‘what are we’ conversation, Bex. We’re just dating, hooking up, there’s definitely more we just haven’t talked about it. And the girls don’t know and neither does mom so PLEASE I am begging you not to bring it up again,” Bucky responded to his sister’s wondering gaze. Her eyes softened and Bucky knew she was reading into the situation a lot deeper than what she’d heard. 

Bex patted Bucky on the shoulder and said, “fine you have my word, Bucko. But I expect all the sordid…well…maybe not ALL the sordid details you are met brother, but I expect to hear all about the two of you and how you met and what led to you sneaking around whenever you’re ready to talk about this.” Bucky nodded at his sisters request and the two siblings rejoined Becca and their mom, where Becca was talking about how excited she was to give Avery her birthday present tomorrow and how she couldn’t wait to meet Avery’s Grammy and Grumps. 

Saturday passed quicker than Bucky would’ve liked if he was being honest with himself and as Sunday dragged closer and closer to 5:00 he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. As Bucky and Becca pulled up to your complex he could hardly hear his six year old chattering about how she wore her favorite shirt today just for Avery and how Avery was going to love her gift. 

“Daddyyyyyy, let’s gooooooo. I wanna see Avery!” Becca squealed as she struggled with her car seat buckles, feet kicking and squirming and Bucky knew if he didn’t help her out soon she’d be heading to the elevator herself. 

“Alright, squirt calm down. Remember what I told you, you’re to be on your best behavior while we’re here for Ms. Y/N and for Avery’s Grammy and Grumps, okay?” Bucky questioned Becca seriously, her blue eyes growing wide with excitement as she nodded her head furiously. Those brown curls bouncing with every nod. Good enough, Bucky thought to himself, and helped Becca out of her seat. Becca loved coming to your place on her playdates with Avery, mainly because of all the new toys she got to play with that they didn’t have at home. The whole elevator ride Bucky was anxiously tapping his leg with his hand, still not doing a great job of paying attention to Becca’s chattering. When the elevator stopped at your floor, Bucky took in a deep breath and made the short walk to your door. He went to knock but stopped short of making contact with the wood. Another deep breath and Bucky was about to do it this time, but he was beat by Becca knocking excitedly on the door in his place. His eyes shot down at Becca, hers looking into his as if to say “you were taking too long.” He was about to talk to her when you opened the door.

You were gorgeous. Not that you weren’t always gorgeous, Bucky knew he had hit the jackpot with you, but seeing you in more casual clothing reminded him of that night at Obsidian. This time you were wearing a sweater that seemed to emphasize the color of your eyes and looked softer than anything else Bucky had ever seen, jeans that hugged you in all the right places, and chunky boots. Neither of you said anything, both of you making eye contact for about ten seconds, before Becca was flinging herself at your legs with a deep hug. The eye contact broke and you looked down at Becca was an amused look on your face. You swept the girl up into a hug and told her how excited you were to have her here for Avery’s birthday. Becca leaned into the hug and gave you a big kiss on the cheek, the affection startling both you and Bucky for a moment, before a soft look crossed your face, one that Bucky only every truly saw when you were with Avery.

That’s it, I’ve died and gone to Heaven. And Heaven suspiciously looks at lot like Y/N’s apartment.

The moment was broken soon after by Avery’s voice calling from deeper in the apartment asking where her mom was and another voice answering that you had gone to answer the door. Bucky finally stepped into your apartment, the coziness that he felt in this place always made him feel at home, and he took a deep breath as he closed the door behind him and the three of you made your way to family room with Becca on your hip and Bucky at your side. 

The second Becca laid eyes on Avery playing with a woman who looked so much like you, she was squirming to get down while trying her best not to kick you in the process. You understood that signal and chuckled lightly as you let the squirming six year old go play with her best friend. Avery and Becca let out loud squeals as they hugged each other and you and Bucky took that chance to make eye contact with each other. Bucky wasn’t a mind reader, and he was fairly certain you weren’t either, but in that moment he knew what you both were thinking. You were both thinking about how lucky your girls were to know each other. Your gazing was cut off by a throat clearing from behind you. A man entered the room and if Bucky thought your mother looked like you then your father was your twin.

Maybe Y/N was right…the universe really did make girls look like their dads, Bucky thought to himself before your father was approaching him, hand outstretched, for an introduction.

“Dad, this is Bucky Barnes, Becca’s dad. Bucky, this is my dad F/N L/N,” you started the introductions, your mother soon joining the group.

“It’s nice to meet you Mr. L/N,” Bucky stated as he moved Avery’s gift to his other hand and reached his hand out to shake your father’s hand but your dad just shrugged him off by saying, “Ah just F/N is fine. I haven’t been Mr. L/N since I retired.” The two dads laughed at the joke and shook on it. Your mother appraised Bucky with a raised eyebrow, almost as if she had seen the whole “gazing into each other’s eyes” situation that had just happened moments ago.

“And this is my mother, M/N L/N, mom this is Bucky, Becca’s dad and Avery’s teacher,” you continued, obviously ignoring the overview she was giving Bucky. Bucky gulped, he thought it was subtle but obviously your mother could read him like a book, because she merely raised an eyebrow with the corner of her mouth quirking into a small grin as the two introduced each other. You offered to take Avery’s gift from Bucky to free up his hands and the timing was perfect. Avery finally took notice of Bucky’s presence after peeling away from Becca’s koala grip and her face burst into a large smile as she took off, as fast as her little legs would take her, and jumped into Bucky’s arms.

“Hey kiddo, happy birthday! Seven years old, wow you’re getting old!” He joked with a tight squeeze that Avery was quick to return along with a little giggle. If Bucky had been facing you he would’ve seen that same soft look on your face that he’d seen earlier when you held Becca. If he’d been facing your mother he would’ve noticed her eyebrows disappearing into her hairline. Bucky was secretly glad his attention was on Avery at that moment and not the two of you.

“Is that for me, mommy!?” Avery squealed as she caught sight of the large birthday gift-wrapped box in your hands. You chuckled and nodded your head and of course the seven year old wanted to open her gift immediately but you put a stop to it and told her dinner first and then she could open all her gifts. Dinner went by smoothly, thought Bucky kept finding his glances lingering in your direction, occasionally he’d catch your stare on him with your lips upturned into a small grin. All this to say, his attention to you and your attention to him may have caught someone else’s eye.

When Avery finally opened her gifts, including the large stuffed pink and purple unicorn that Becca had begged him to let her get for Avery the second she saw it because, “it’s pink AND purple, daddy! That’s my favorite color AND Avery’s! And it’s a unicorn!!” All said as if it was the most obvious gift ever. Obviously Becca knew her best friend because Avery had engulfed her in a hug that had almost brought tears to Bucky’s eyes. He considered himself lucky that he had watched their friendship grow over the last couple of months and that he’d seen Avery grow out of her shell in that short period of time. When you finally called for cake the girls took off to the kitchen where the group began to sing Happy Birthday, Avery sat at the counter beaming as she waited to blow out her candles to everyone’s applause. You began to cut the cake, which Bucky offered to help with but you kindly stopped him and told him to grab a drink and sit down for once offering a wink and a slight shove to the family room as the girls went on and on about what flavor ice cream they wanted.

Bucky sat on the chair in the main room, your mother waiting on the couch across from him for your father to return and she gave Bucky a little nod of acknowledgment as he sat down. The silence was bordering on the territory of awkward and all Bucky could do was pay attention to the drink in his hand. That is before your mother questioned, “Becca really seems to enjoy vanilla ice cream, what’s your favorite ice cream flavor, James?”

“Oh I really like chocolate, but vanilla’s a classic,” Bucky answered the question almost automatically as he brought his drink to his lips before realizing what he’d just unintentionally given away. It took all Bucky had in him not to do a spit take as he realized what he’d done, His eyes grew wide as he made brief eye contact with your mother, a knowing smile appearing on her face and Bucky realized he was trapped.

“So is James your first name or has my daughter been lying to me about everything,” she questioned teasingly.

Bucky’s attention was firmly on his drink as he knew he couldn’t look at your mother as he attempted to not mumble but clearly state, “yes ma’am. Bucky’s my nickname, James is my given.” 

Your mother nodded her head at Bucky’s answer before questioning him once more, “so what’s going on with you and my daughter that has her leaving out the fact that “James” is Bucky and also Avery’s teacher, hmm?” Bucky didn’t know how to answer that without throwing you under the bus.

Whatthefuck ohshitohshitohshit, how do I tell her mom “idk what we are, we haven’t talked about it”!?!?!?! 

Your mother must have sensed his dilemma because her eyes softened at the grown man freaking out in front of her as if he were a teenage boy all over again. So she took in a breath and told him, “I know my daughter. I know when she is well and truly happy and I have only seen that since Avery came into her life. When that doorbell rang? She looked like a child on Christmas morning all over again.” 

Bucky’s eyes flitted up to your mother’s, that knowing smirk on her face growing more as she continued, “I always joked that Avery was the best Christmas present my daughter could have ever received, since she always did love the holiday. Who knows, maybe this year she’ll receive another gift just as good.”

The approval that Bucky felt from your mother’s statement warmed his heart. He’d never felt this way over anyone else, not even Dot, and just hearing the way you had reacted when you knew it was him at the door made him realize he didn’t want to keep hiding. He wanted you and he wanted all your family and friends to know it. He was about to finally answer when you walked in the room, your mere presence causing Bucky to shut his agape mouth real fast. Your mother snickered at his reaction and stood up to grab another drink, leaving you and Bucky in the family room together as the girls played with your dad, who had gotten roped into playing horsey.

“Mmm, I smell trouble. It was suspiciously quiet in here with my mom, everything okay?” you questioned as you approached Bucky, looking around to see if you’d be caught, before pressing a quick kiss to his lips. Bucky hummed into the kiss and wrapped his arms around you to pull you into a hug.

“If by okay you mean that your mom smelled a rat the second I walked in this apartment and managed to call me out immediately, then yeah sure everything’s peachy,” Bucky joked, your eyes growing comically as you took in what he was saying. He chuckled at your expression and just pulled you closer to him.

“What’d you say? What’d SHE say?” You questioned and Bucky knew you were freaking out so he recapped the entire, albeit mostly one-sided, conversation he’d just had with your mother. You let out a breath, obviously hoping to have kept this under wraps for a little while longer. But Bucky took his chance.

“You know, she mentioned how you lit up when you knew it was me at the door and how you’ve been more happy than she’s seen in a long time…but you’re not the only one that’s been affected by..whatever this is,” Bucky stated as he waved his hands around the pair of you for emphasis. You opened your mouth to argue but Bucky cut you off, “shh, honey I’ve got something I need to say. I swear every time I know you’re coming over…I could have a week’s notice but when I hear that ‘shave and a haircut’ knock on my door my day brightens instantly. When we started this we wanted to go slow, and figure it out while dating casually, and these last three, almost four, months have been some of the best that I’ve had.”

Your eyes glimmered with unshed tears as you looked at Bucky, you sniffled slightly to hold them back, so Bucky took that as his cue, “I don’t wanna hide anymore, sweetheart. I want our families and friends to know about his, hell I’d shout it from the rooftops if I could. What d’ya say, baby? Wanna be my girl?”

That was it. That must have shocked you into action because you whispered a breathy, “yes,” prior to seizing Bucky’s lips in a heated kiss, a surprised grunt falling from his lips before he let himself go into the kiss. It was cut off short by twin screams and a man’s throat clearing before the two of you remembered where you were…in the family room of your penthouse apartment…with both girls and your parents around.

“Guess the cat’s out of the bag now, huh?” you muttered against Bucky’s lips that were slowly turning into the largest grin he could muster. The girls took off away from your dad and ran up to you and Bucky, their voices melding together as they asked a million questions. The questions were endless and each one was equally as ridiculous as the last and it ended with you and Bucky laughing as each other girls attempted to crawl into your arms and get you to spill about your undying love, another topic that you hadn’t even talked about.

“Why were you kissing Mr. Bucky?” “Why were you kissing Ms. Y/N?” “Do you two love each other?” “Are you two going to get married like Cinderella and Prince Charming?” “Were you trying to turn him into a frog!?” “Boys have cooties, mommy!”

Your mom and dad stood in the corner, knowing smiles on both their mouths as your mother stuck out her hand in his direction, your father grumbling as he slipped a twenty into her hand. 

As the night wound up, your parents left the four of you to talk with the girls about your relationship and how the two of you had gone on a couple dates and that you really liked each other and would all be hanging out a lot more now. Their excited squeals echoed over the room, neither truly understanding what it was you were telling them, but both of them equally excited. As the girls ran to say their final goodbyes, you and Bucky walked to the front door hand in hand. He wrapped a hand around your waist and pulled you to him in what was supposed to be another brief kiss, but as the girls voices sounded from Avery’s bedroom you pushed your luck and deepened the kiss briefly. When you broke apart you stated, “well…that went easier and better than expected.”

Bucky huffed out a laugh and cupped your cheek as he responded, “it really did…now all we have to do is tell my ma…but judging by the way your parents already seemed to know…I’m willing to bet mine is just waiting for me to tell her too.”

As a mother you knew what he was talking about. That parental sense of just knowing that something had changed in your child’s life. The idea that both of your parents had been able to pretend like they knew nothing about your relationship was amusing to you both.

“I’m regretting not getting you a Christmas present now, especially since I’ve just been made aware that it’s your favorite holiday,” Bucky whispered against your lips as he kissed you, swallowing your laugh.

“Mmm, I think this is a pretty good gift don’t you?” You questioned with one eyebrow raised, a teasing smirk taking over your lips as the girls returned for Becca and Bucky to leave.

Bucky couldn’t agree more. 

taglist (to be added just let me know, if there’s an * next to a tag it’s because tumblr won’t let me tag):

@youlightmeupfinn

@la-undercover-latina

@jackiehollanderr

@fab-notfat

@galaxy-dusk

@asoftie4bucky

@fangirlvoice

@queenbeecandi

@babyevansblog

@stevihj

@sherlockstrangewolf

@notavintagecliche

@justsomebodyweird*

@katiecg

@wintasssoldier

@snufflet

@buckrecs

@missvelvetsstuff

@selluequestrian

@dhoruwolfie

@winters1917