#and i just find this effort to shame people who disagree with an opinion to be.....really opposite of that and really frustrating

[theghostofashton]

.

[maddiviner]

Hey I saw your posts about the Simulation/Matrix cult. I can’t find them myself but I’m wondering if they had any opinion on being trans, since the movie was created by trans women and had references to that?

The simulation cult isn’t a cult in the traditional sense, at least not yet. 

It’s just a bunch of people who, for whatever reason, are drawn to the idea that we’re “in the Matrix” and want to spew about it. I guess in five or ten years, someone with charisma could show up and start a proper cult out of it? Thus far, it’s super toxic, but they argue too much to count as a cult, I’d say. Cults are typically more controlling. Toxic ideas? Sure. Cult? Nah, not so far.

To answer your question, though, most of the simulation conspiracy theory folks are virulent bigots, I’ve noticed, particularly with regards to LGBTQ issues. This is probably why the Wachowski sisters very rarely get mentioned. This is despite using terms like “Mr. Smith, “Matrix,” etc culled from the film the duo made.

In some cases there’s comments and posts seemingly treating the movie as some kind of documentary almost. 

Their fascination with it is very surface-level, mostly concerned with the plot rather than any symbolism or (oddly) deeper meaning. If you really look at the movie, there’s a lot to chew on, but they’re not really doing that. 

At one point, someone in the Facebook groups tried to read some of the works of Jean Baudrillard, because the Wachowskis put his book in the film. That didn’t go well because apparently Baudrillard makes no sense to them. I’m not saying I myself understand Baudrillard , but like… c’mon, if this is so important, put in some effort, people…

I’ve seen some of ‘em say that they believe the Wachowski sisters weren’t trans to begin with, but that the simulation rewrote itself and the past to “discredit” them by adding that. Others have simply claimed that The Matrix wasn’t actually made by the duo - their name was put on it for nefarious purposes, presumably, again, to “discredit” the film’s message? 

It doesn’t make a lot of sense, like most conspiracy theories. If we’re in a simulation that’s so closely-controlled, why allow the movie to be made at all? Especially if it’s supposedly so close to being a “documentary” of the truth? 

Anyways, they tend to roll their general bigotry into the simulation theory stuff, too. The programmers of the simulation, the bad guys/robots/NPCs, whatever, tend to be whoever the person feels like targeting.

One guy commented that “the LGBTQs are all Smiths cuz if you simply disagree with them, they will cancel you.” Right next to a .gif of Mr. Smith from that film made by the Wachowski sisters. This is why aliens don’t talk to us, pretty sure. 

By this, he meant that he saw LGBTQ folks as de facto NPCs, particularly the evil sort actively controlled by the programmers. He likely wouldn’t have been able to describe what he meant by “cancel” or name one genuine bad thing that’d happened for him for “disagreeing.” 

In another thread, I saw someone comment that the religion-based discussions popping up on the group “don’t really engender much good discussion.” A guy saw the word engender, I guess, and assumed it meant something to do with gender. He popped back with some business about how “…you can’t engender things! Are you TRIGGERED by that?” I think someone eventually linked him to the definition of engender. I can only assume he’s still recovering from the shame of that moment. 

A lot of these people were probably right wing to begin with, probably had a conspiracy theorist streak to begin with. But still, it reads like their personalities and political beliefs formulated around 2011-2013 and they never grew any further. I gotta say that had to have been the first time in ages I’d heard that “lol triggered” thing used non-ironically. 

So yes. The simulation theory people are massive transphobes. Are you surprised? I wasn’t.

I’m considering abandoning this little project of lurking these groups because they’re starting to affect the way the Facebook algorithm feeds the rest of my account - I’m seeing more right-wing stuff.

I recognize and ignore/block it, but it’s there and annoying, and frustrating because there’s nothing I can do besides that.

It’s not like I’m skilled enough to change anyone’s mind about these deeply-held conspiracy theories. I don’t enjoy watching online train wrecks for their own sake. I get that some people do, but it seems unhealthy.

I ended up in these groups because I have epilepsy, and references to it in the groups themselves caused them to pop up on my feed (some of them think epilepsy, specifically, is a Matrix glitch - long story). 

I might dig into my settings and see about muting these groups for a while, just to get my feed a little more clean. I’m spending less and less time on Facebook, but there’s reasons for being there, I guess.

If it were only awful people on Facebook as a whole like that, I’d be outta the site in a heartbeat, but I got buddies still on there.

[negative-null-semiofficial]

Aight so, this semester I'm taking a media ethics class and it sounds like something Tumblr would enjoy and it will help me study so y'all are gonna get a kinda live blog, sound good?

Class hasn't started yet but we got some reading to do about the Abrams v US case from 1919

TL:DR A bunch of dudes got in trouble for publishing communist pamphlets during WWI and calling for a general strike so that the US would stop advancing into Russia during the Revolution

The Supreme Court upheld the convictions, although there was a dissenting opinion, and I'll get to that.

First though, some funnies

Three of the publishers were anarchists but one said he only wanted "a proper kind of government, not capitalistic." Justice Clark then expresses surprise that the US is, in fact, capitalistic and that isn't "proper"

The anarchists clarifying that they hate Germany just as much as the US, so if the US can get on with murdering them and not the Russians that would be great

Calling President Wilson, among other things, King Wilson, Our Kaiser, a shameful hypocrite, and my favorite, Too Much of a Coward to come out openly (yeah me too)

Ok, more serious under the cut

So the reason the Court upheld the conviction is that they were arguing that this is Clear and Present danger, akin to yelling fire in a movie theater. They argue that calling for a worker's strike during a war would be against the government interests enough to override the First Amendment's protections

I find the dissenting opinion much more interesting though

Justice Holmes starts by pointing out that the pamphlets were in fact, not attacking the US government but capitalism. Astute readers will note that those are in fact different. That is a point in his argument, and a very interesting one, but his main point is actually the following.

The publishers did not intend to work against the US government. That is an interpretation of their work by the courts

Basically, he's arguing that their actions should be gauged on their intent and not what their outcome may be.

He gives an example of a well meaning patriot who puts out an opinion arguing that the US needs to change their strategy in war, field more or less tanks, more or less jets. This guy might be right or wrong, but no one would say that he's committing a crime, even if by taking his advice the war effort would be damaged.

Similarly, the pamphlets are not trying to stop the war effort, merely to redirect it away from those they see as deserving it (which is a whole other can of worms but whatever)

While the effect of the pamphlets (general worker's strike, criticizing the president) may ultimately hinder the war effort, the intent behind them is something else entirely.

His third point: the Justices of the Court found it easy to condemn the publishers because they argued for Communism. Even Justice Holmes says that he thinks Communism is "the creed of ignorance and immaturity," so I'm guessing there wasn't a lot of power in the other point of view here.

But! Just because the Justices disagree with the ideas of the pamphlets doesn't mean that they are dangerous and/or should be dismissed and vilified.

Justice Holmes says that "the best test of truth is the power of the thought to get itself accepted in the composition of the market." Seems ironic when talking about communism but all right. The point being that the government should not, according to the First Amendment, condemn specific points of view just because they disagree with them. Those points of view can fight it out among themselves.

I don't really have a point with all this, I just think it's kinda cool! I think the dissenting opinion is much more interesting and honestly very valid, but we can see how the actual decision was and is carried out, through McCarthyism and other government interference in media. Makes me wonder what might be different if we had a few more people willing to see Communists as human beings back in the day

These days I don't feel like we are a lot of direct government interference in media (the key words there are probably see and direct) but it can be good for us to think about it as well, whether we are criticizing the intent of words or the consequences we think we see.

Basically, I look forward to this class, should be fun. I'll let you know how it goes!

[kiss-my-freckle]

I find TVD stans who started watching the show during the pandemic (as many did) or ones who were too young to watch the show when it came out generally have the worst takes and be really aggressive and holier than thou when it comes to stanning and opinions that I sometimes think to myself it's 2024, let the fandom die out. I find the Reddit side of the fandom really toxic where someone could get criticized for merely shipping Delena and saying if you ship Delena that means you're immature and care more about tropes than a functional relationship. Outside of the Delena fandom (and some Pickmeishas in the Delena fandom) say our fandom is the most toxic and that toxic couple=toxic fandom and if you try to refute that they use self defense as an example of toxicity which is pure gaslighting. They've gaslight Delena fans into shutting up to the point where Delena fans are quiet or they try to make an extra effort to appease them while they can say and do whatever tf the want without getting harassed. They can think Stefan and Klaus are innocent cupcakes but if a Damon stan think he's not as bad as many in the fandom makes him out to be they let go of all civility. I disagree that our fandom is more toxic. Stelena fans toxicity is unmatched. There was a Delena hate blog (many similar ones, but this was the most notorious one) that ran for years that would not only post hate regularly against the ship and the characters in it but attack the shippers that a Delena fan made a counter one against it that was very short lived and never attacked the shippers themselves and would politely interact with Stelena fans that would start shit on their blog. People use examples like "You have an opinion on a character/ship that I find objectionable against my values." as Delena fans being toxic. Klaroline fans have done many toxic things like threatening Leah Pipes and her family to the point she quit TO, bullied the TO producers multiple times (one of them even apologized because they couldn't take a joke. She even said she's made a similar joke about Delena in the past without getting heat), bullied Daniel and Phoebe for their comments on Klaus's ships, threatened Julie to the point she said their relationship almost didnt get serviced, etc. Stelena fans did things like send death threats to Kevin and Julie after Delena's 3x10 kiss, and made sexist/homophobic comments against Julie and Kevin, but Julie gets much more hate even though Kevin is just as if not more responsible for the things they find problematic about the show. They neglect that fact since even though Kevin wrote many of the things they consider most objectionable in the show all is well if Stelena was endgame instead.

I think every fandom has that one toxic person in the bunch. I find most toxicity in the Stelena fandom. Hate for Delena shippers, hate for Delena, hate for their characters, hate for the actors who play their characters. Generalizations, slut-shaming, temper tantrums, all caps screaming. Whatever makes them feel better about the show because half their ship died and the other half married Damon, Some of them ship Stelena even though they hate Elena, which makes no damn sense to me. That's not to say that I hate all Stelena shippers. I may hate the Stelena romance, but I love the Stelena friendship. More often than not, I come across Stelena shippers going out of their way to hate on Delena posts when they can easily stick to their corner of the fandom. Seeking out Delena shippers in public threads for the sake of spreading their toxicity when they could easily scroll past things they don't like.

I get along with most Delena shippers. I say "most" because I find it hard to lie about the Delena ship when I refuse to lie about Damon. So while it is rare, I could find myself in a Delena debate. I'm the type that sticks to the Delena corner of the fandom. That's not to say that I won't respond to Stelena fans when they seek me out, when they refuse to scroll past my comment because they don't like what I have to say on public threads. But they should know that I'm not someone they can bully via keyboard. I'm older than the average fan, have a great deal of life experience, and I'm a very open minded person. I don't think in boxes because I love my mind far too much for that. I'm not old, but I feel old because I've experienced a great deal in my life. I don't have a problem understanding or relating to certain things, and I'm very outspoken about what I think and feel. Honestly, I'm a loudmouthed bitch that doesn't give a shit. When I argue with fans, I'm less about insulting and more about offering in-show evidence. However, I will insult if I see reason to.

I'm not self righteous. My beliefs are so open that it's hard for me to hate. When I do hate, that says more about what I hate. I value challenges and confrontations because people should never stop learning and growing. There are some things I hate about the show. Things I feel they could've done differently or better. But it's a great piece of work overall. I won't attack an actor or a writer. That's not to say that I won't insult an actor or a writer, but it won't be over a ship. My insults will come off more like constructive criticism relating to what I feel they could've done differently or better. I will insult anyone who believes the show should've had a Stelena endgame because I consider them one of the worst written romances in tv. I can pretty much guarantee that a lot of their fans continued watching past the pilot episode because they introduced Damon at the end. He's the only reason I did. Stelena is the kind of ship that I never would've liked no matter my age, that's how horribly written they are.

I'm not someone fans want to debate certain topics with. When fans debate me about age issues, they have no idea that my ex is old enough to be my father. Fact is, I've always dated older men. At 17, I'd have no problem dating a 24/25 year old man, and it would've been consensual. That's not to say that my parents would've liked it, but at 17, my parents had no say in anything I did.

I'm the type of fan shippers hate and debate while hiding anon, and I have like 50 anons that I still haven't answered. Whether I respond depends on my current mood. I always take requests for my analysis, gifs, or simply my opinion on something. Fans should know what they're hitting when they come to my page because they may not like my response to it. I'll always be a loudmouthed bitch that doesn't give a shit. I say what i say without regard, and I'm like this in every tv show fandom. Delena is my ship and Damon is my character. Fans should take that as a warning lol

[starzfield]

A flicker of amusement danced in the amber’s pupils, gentle. Even the less judgemental people were surprised when learning his family had a bakery. Nunnally’s surprise was only amusing to him, but he didn’t judge her for it.

“No one does.” He tried to comfort her. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed of.”

The man hummed, though he didn’t seem to agree entirely. Waited for her to finish, before shaking his head slowly, smile still on.

“Je n’étais pas seul. Pas au début. Cela fait une grande différence.”

Hands free of cup, the therapist gestured between them, as if manifesting a kind of gap, or space. “I was actually wanting to escape my inheritance, and had someone who helped me with money. I wouldn’t have been able to have the courage, or the ressources, to do everything on my own. I was actually very resigned with my fate at first…”

He gave her a sad, but encouraging smile. “So please, don’t be so harsh on yourself ? Changing your own life is more than just a matter of choice. Or strength. There’s no shame in wanting safety, or not wanting to cut ties with your family. No one who isn’t in your shoes can judge you.”

The next question amused him a little, again. “I don’t hate baking, but you must be aware by now it is a heavily, emotionally charged act for me. So we can settle on a ‘maybe’, if you don’t mind.”

Despite his sweet behavior and attitude, Lukan wasn’t one to be convinced to do a thing he didn’t want to do.

Affection slipped into his face at the mention of help.

“You can always ask any question you wish to ask. I may simply not always answer them. And I will apply the same rules for you. I will ask, and you may answer or refuse. Please don’t feel bad for your curiosity, I wish us to build trust, and it is hard to trust someone you don’t know anything about, isn’t it ?”

That point cleared, he did answer the question. “My friend Llam helped me. With the financial safety, with a roof, with the undying support and belief in me. I’d say me succeeding is based 75% on his doing. Of course, I succeeded on my studies on my own - but he gave me the environment I needed for it to happen. Without him, I’d be working in the family bakery today, there’s no doubt about it.”

He wasn’t ashamed of it, just aware of how lucky he had been.

“Some people think to be a therapist, you need to be perfectly stable, to not have past or present struggles, I suppose. To some, it makes me look unreliable.”

Yet the man didn’t look too bothered.

“As long as I can do my job and help people, it is fine. A patient needs to trust their therapist. If they can’t trust me, it’s better for them to find another one.” 

It was said gently, without resentment.

“I’m glad it’s not your case, however.”

The bit about her mother was noticed, but he deemed it too sensitive and charged for a first session, so he didn’t push, choosing to stare at her with seriousness, the kindness and patience leaving for calm, unshakable expression.

“I promise what is said here will stay between us. Telling things to your grandmother will only betray your trust, and ruin any efforts we poured into the sessions. Nothing could be further from my goal.”

Despite what she thought, Lukan’s eyes hold no judgment, only patience and soft curiosity.

He listened to her without interrupting.

As silence stretched, the man nodded. “She did sound like a strong woman with even stronger opinions.” 

It wasn’t even a bad thing, except she apparently pushed said opinions on Nunnally, either she liked it or not.

“...Sometimes you don’t get along with people, despite them being the same blood. Or your family. Very few can actually cut these bonds, but you don’t, in fact, owe your family to love them. As strange as it sounds.”

He pronounced the words cautiously, watching her reactions. “And you ? What do you think a woman’s role is ?”

It was quite obvious Nunnally disagreed with her grandmother’s point of view.“If the question makes you uncomfortable, remember you don’t have to answer. I can also answer it myself first, if it makes it easier for you.”

A bakery? She hoped her face didn’t show her utter surprise upon his words. Didn’t his family appreciate that he became a successful therapist? Did they really think him being a baker would have been better? She blinked a few times to cover for her embarrassment. Indeed, Nunnally was slowly becoming embarrassed with her own embarrassment. Entitled girl. Rich girl. That was how she probably was now presenting herself to him. And she didn’t like it.

“I apologize. I didn’t expect that.” – she stated; her cheeks covered in deep red. She was aware of 'w h o' she was, and aware of some prejudices installed in her. Not that she minded them most of the time. But here with this man… For whatever reason, she didn’t want him to have a bad opinion about her.

“Though you were strong enough to challenge them…”

A moment of silence.

“Je ne serais jamais capable de faire ça. Je ne pourrais pas survivre seule...” – yes, Nunnally was ashamed of her inability to rebel. And perhaps because of that, she'd understand his harsh assessment of her and lack of actions – “I wouldn’t know how to live without money. When you come from family like mine, you…you simply do what is expected from you... or gets disinherited.”

“Most just wait until they can make some decisions…” – no, she didn’t want to talk about it! She had already told too much. Poor, miserable, rich girl. She loathed herself, but was well aware she would never do anything to change it.

“Will you bake something for me…?” – a challenge to make him angry? Or a desperate attempt to change the subject?

“You got help…?” – her eyes -- that turned dull for the moment -- regained that look of curiosity – “I am sorry I shouldn’t have asked.” – she was to listen and not to talk. Wasn’t that what she was taught most of the time?

“Why would it? Why would it make you an unfitting therapist for me…? Maybe actually it does make you the proper one. Though I doubt my grandmother would choose you if she was aware of that. She expects obedience not rebellion… I guess that might be what made my mother unhappy…” – oh, no! Nunnally shouldn’t have brought that topic. He was good. Too good. He made her speak and she shouldn’t have spoken. Especially that she didn't really know much about her mother.

“You…you’re not allowed to repeat that to anyone, are you…!?” – if her grandmother was to learn about anything she just said here. A cold shiver run down her spine. No, she didn’t even want to think about it. It was the second time she was asking this question; she suddenly realized. It probably told him much more about her than her speaking for hours. He surely loathed her by then. As much as she despised herself in that moment.

Nunnally moved her eyes away from him. She took a cup to take a sip of her coffee, but the cup was already empty. She put it back on the table and smoothed the skirt. It was an expensive one. Easy to say. Why it suddenly made her ashamed?

“Yes, there’s three of us. Though my grandmother…my maternal grandmother…she doesn’t live with us…”

“She…and my father do not get along too well… I mean they share the goals, but it’s like…” – it was hard to explain. Nunnally was sure her father didn’t like his mother-in-law, and she probably didn't like him. But they were bound together, because they both failed in a way? And her Nunnally was the living proof of their failure. And yet being the disappointment, she was also the only way that they could fix their mistakes. She sighed: --

“She’s a strong woman. Used to have things going her way. Old-fashioned. Thinking the woman’s role it being a wife. Nothing more.” – and that was what she expected from Nunnally. Nunnally was to marry for the sake of family.

“Well, I don’t really know her…”

“Not that I really want to…”

[valwentinefics]

Altruism Ch.1 (Zemo x Reader x Bucky)

A/N: Here it is ya’ll, my thank you for 100 followers series! I know 100 isn’t a lot in the grand scheme of things but I’m just a random girl who’s super insecure about her writing, so having 100 people who like it is really exciting for me! Thank you! 

This chapter is just setting things up, don’t worry there’ll be more romantic things in the next chapter onward.

Masterlist

Warnings: spoilers for tfatws ep 3

Y/n walked into the mechanics garage with soft careful steps, not sure if she had gotten the right address. She glanced down at her phone, double checking. Yep, this was the right place. The garage smelled of gas, the scent almost making her dizzy as she approached the bickering voices that bounced off the concrete walls. It took a few moments to recognize them, but once she did the tension slipped out of her body and she closed the pocket knife she had been wielding. She walked around a car and to the two men, who didn’t acknowledge her presence if they noticed it. 

“I don’t like how casual you’re being about this, this is unnatural.” Sam looked around, exasperated. “And where are we man, what does Y/n have to do with this?” He questioned, giving Y/n a small nod hello that she returned with a friendly wave.

Before Bucky had time to speak, the click of a door opening rang throughout the garage, turning everyone’s attention to the shrinking shadow of a man approaching, only to be revealed as Zemo once he pushed past the clear plastic divider. Sam looked shocked, moving forward swiftly to confront the man.

“Woah...woah, woah, woah! Hey! What are you doing here?” Asked Sam, held back by Bucky. 

“Did he not tell you the plan?” Asked Y/n. “Bucky you need to tell people your plans, it's rude to not.” Y/n scolded, feeling bad for Sam having to be shoved into this. She side eyed Zemo as he approached, side stepping closer to the arguing men to get away from him.

“I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you wouldn’t let this happen!” Bucky explained as if that was a good reason to hide something so big.

Y/n watched as Sam and Bucky bickered about Zemo, wishing she had the guts to say no to people. She was a pushover, and saying no to a friend just felt rude, especially a friend like Bucky who was for the most part alone. It was perhaps her fatal flaw, her inability to say no to someone in need. It made her a great nurse and an even better friend, but a not so happy person. Sometimes she wished she could just yell no to the next person who asked something of her, but the fear of saying to outweighed her need to have alone time to rest and feel better.

“If I may…” Zemo began to say something, taking off the prison guard hat. Y/n had to admit, objectively and not out of her own opinion, he looked good in the uniform.

“No!” Shouted both Sam and Bucky simultaneously, fed up with him already. Y/n could see why they needed her around now, they would lose their patience with him quickly.  

“...Apologies…” Zemo said, looking down. Y/n almost felt bad for him. Almost.

“When Steve refused to sign the Sokovia accords you two backed him. You broke the law and you stuck your neck out, for me. I’m asking you to do it again.” Bucky said to both Y/n and Sam.

“And I will Bucky, don’t worry we’re friends, I have your back!” Y/n smiled at him, wanting to turn around and leave. She really didn’t want to do this, but they were friends after all and that meant sticking her neck out for him.

“I really think I’m invaluable-” Zemo began, clearly not learning his lesson from the last time he spoke.

“Shut up!” Sam sighed, tired of Zemo already. “Okay if we’re going to do this, you don’t make a move without our permission.”

“Fair.” He replied

Sam looked at him, he also seemed like he didn't really want to do this “Okay Zemo… Where do we start?” 

Zemo smirked a bit before leading them through the plastic divider and to a room filled with many old and expensive cars. Y/n was too focused examining them to listen to what the others were saying, figuring she would just figure it out eventually. She walked around an old red car, admiring how shiny it was despite how long it must have been since it was driven. She was too focused on admiring it to notice Bucky's approach.

“Thanks, for saying yes. It means a lot.” Thanked the stoic man who put his hand on the side of the car, only to pull it away when Y/n gave him a pointed glare because he would smudge it. 

“Anything for you Bucky, you know that.” Y/n smiled at the super soldier. “But are you sure about this? About Zemo? He could turn on us at any minute.”

Bucky nodded. “I’m sure. We need him Y/n, he’s our best chance at taking down the Flag Smashers.”

Y/n sighed. To be honest she sympathised with the Flag Smashers, having just become accustomed to a new normal, only to be kicked out of their new homes and tossed onto the streets, but she didn’t voice her opinion to Bucky, she knew he’d disagree

“Whatever you say Bucky…” Y/n sighed, looking down until Bucky’s hand touched her shoulder. He was about to say something when Zemo’s voice interrupted and his hand jerked away.

“We’re going to need to scale a ladder of lowlives, first a mid level fence named Selbie that I still have a line on, from there we climb.” Zemo stated, holding a jacket and a light brown leather bag in his hands. He glanced back to the three people behind him, Y/n throwing Bucky a nervous smile before rushing to follow Zemo.

-

“So all this time you’ve been rich?” Sam asked as the four approached Zemo’s private jet. Y/n was shocked. From how he dressed last time she saw him, Y/n had assumed he was just a normal middle class man.

“I’m a baron Sam. My family was royalty until your friends destroyed my country.”

Y/n felt shame deep in her body as Zemo greeted his pilot and they boarded the plane. She didn’t know much about Zemo. She didn’t know his motives for doing what he did to her friends, but she did know that as a result of her friends actions his country was destroyed and she felt terrible. She sometimes at night still felt the pain of the wounds of the sokovian citizens burning into her skin as she took them from them. 

That was her power, to take the wounds from others and give them to herself with only slightly accelerated healing to compensate. Y/n became nothing but a glorified nurse to the Avengers, only receiving words of thanks for her efforts and nothing more, other than Bucky and Steve of course, they were above and beyond making sure she was okay, especially Bucky. She had long accepted that the other Avengers were too busy to truly make sure she was okay like those two had done, but it and the pain she could still feel from the Sokovian incident were both factors in why she retired after the Avengers own civil war.

She looked up from her lap, finding herself in the seat across from Zemo, who was watching her with his head slightly tilted. She must have been lost in her thoughts for a while as per usual, seeing Sam doze off and Bucky with headphones in looking out the window. Y/n crossed and uncrossed her legs, looking around the plane with nothing to do. She was too nervous to bite the bullet and start a conversation with Zemo. Luckily for her, he spoke up. 

“We’re going to Madripoor.” Zemo stated, his voice causing Y/n to look him in his eyes. “You seemed a little out of it while I was explaining it, I assumed you would like to know.” 

Y/n was hesitant to reply, not knowing if she should be having a conversation with him. “Thank you.”

Zemo took a sip of what Y/n assumed was champagne judging from the glass. “If you don’t mind my asking, what were you thinking of?”

Y/n didn’t see a reason not to tell him, letting out a small sigh. “I was thinking of Sokovia…” Zemo’s head tilt looked as if it was encouraging her to go on. His eyes had a strange way of making it seem as if she was the only person in the world when she spoke. “My power… I used it a lot back then… I tried to do the best I could to help the civilians.”

For a few moments  Zemo looked as if he was looking through Y/n and back at that day before replying, snapping out of whatever mindset he was in for those moments. “Your power. Is an interesting one, but I’ve always wondered… You do so much for other people. What do they do for you?”

-

Tag list: Let me know if you would like to be added

[stiltonbasket]

(Is this where you submit prompts? I really dont know ^^💧) Prompt for the renouncement au: I don’t know why i love when gossip is involved, so maybe something about people’s opinions on wangxian’s marriage and how it slowly changes to a better perspective to the point that anyone who doubts their feelings for each other gets immediately shut down. And you could add some juniors shenanigans to make wangxian have that good of a reputation because i miss them </3. Thank you for your time and effort! (And sorry if this is not the place for the prompts, i will submit it again if you say so ^^’ )

(author’s note: please please reblog if you can, since that’s how we get prompts for future chapters!)

Lan Siyong considers himself one of the more moderate elders among the Lan sect. 

He has been close friends with Lan Qiren from childhood, and he saw Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji grow up into the fine, upstanding men they are today. When the two of them were boys, he even had fond thoughts of attending their weddings, and watching them take on the most sacred of duties with glad, willing hearts. 

Learning that Xichen would never wed had been a disappointment, but Lan Siyong rallied again when Lan Qiren confided the reason why the boy rejected marriage—chastity in an upstanding cultivator was to be lauded, especially in an age where Jin Guangshan had once demanded such high respect, and there could still be children born to Lan Huan if he decided to cultivate them. And of course, Wangji was there, and Lan Siyong knew from the first that he would be the kind of youth to fall in love deeply, at first sight, and remain passionately devoted to his mingding zhiren until he drew his last breath. 

But then Lan Siyong had Wangji’s own sword turned upon him at the Burial Mounds, because the one that his many-times distant nephew loved so dearly was none other than Wei Wuxian. 

“Qiren,” he says hoarsely, when the lotus-scented wedding invitations arrive from Lotus Pier. “You cannot let this happen—an unrighteous cultivator, one who spurned orthodoxy without remorse and led Wangji down such a dangerous path—”

“What has been done has been done,” Lan Qiren replies. “We have sent the bridewealth, and the marriage was contracted between Xichen and Jiang-zongzhu. All their terms have been agreed upon, and the date set.”

And then, after a brief pause: “He makes Wangji happy.”

Lan Siyong nearly cries. He does not attend the wedding, for fear of shaming Wangji with the open despair that appears on his face whenever he sees Wei Wuxian, and sends the newlywed couple the most expensive gift he can afford in an effort to do something useful. 

Wei Wuxian is the one who writes him a letter in thanks. Lan Siyong almost has a qi deviation.

__

“You know,” one of the other elders mutters after the second wedding ceremony: namely, the ceremony held in the Cloud Recesses, since Jiang-zongzhu demanded that his brother should be married at Lotus Pier first. “Wei Wuxian refused to have a blessing for children spoken at the an chuang ceremony.”

“Gossip is forbidden,” Lan Haiyang says tranquilly. He stopped caring about practically everything after his son’s wife gave birth to the whirlwind that calls himself Lan Jingyi, so Lan Siyong has long since given up relying on him to fix any kind of sect turmoil. “And they already have two children. I have not seen a finer Lan disciple than Lan Sizhui in all my days.”

Lan Siyong is forced to concede this last. Wangji has two good children, even if the Yiling Patriarch is perhaps the most unsuitable person alive to raise them with him, and a couple’s choice to expand their family is up to them, and no others.

“He should at least have let the blessing be spoken, though.”

Lan Siyong does not disagree with this. Traditions are traditions, and surely even Wei Wuxian should know to respect them once in a while. 

__

“It’s worse than I thought,” Lan Siyong murmurs, on a summer afternoon about six weeks after Wangji’s wedding. He passed Haiyang’s grandson and his friends on his way to the refectory that morning, and heard them discussing how heartbroken Wangji had looked upon hearing that Wei Wuxian did not return his love. “I ought not to have eavesdropped, but—poor Wangji!”

“Poor Wangji what?” Lan Haiyang asks, as if their little Lan Zhan being in trouble was all in another day’s work to him. “What’s happened to him now?”

“Wei Wuxian disavows Wangji’s love at every opportunity,” he replies dismally, going over to the refreshment table to drown his woes in chestnut cake and tea. “I fear for him, Haiyang. To love for so long, and to wed his beloved, and have children with him, and still…”

Lan Haiyang snorts into his tea. 

“What do you mean by that?” demands Lan Siyong, more than a little offended. “Wangji is in distress! We must do something!”

His friend does not reply. Honestly, it’s as if no one remembers what Wangji suffered for Wei Wuxian’s sake. Lan Siyong even tries raising the issue with Lan Qiren, and then with Xichen, but all he gets in return for his pains is a tray of fresh-baked red bean buns from the hanshi and another cryptic comment about Wangji’s supposed happiness from Qiren. 

Yet again, he is forced to leave his worries for another day, and try his best to follow rule three thousand, one hundred and sixty-two: that the affairs of a married couple should not be discussed by outsiders, even if they happen to be close, concerned family. 

Lan Siyong thinks his hair might be turning white by now.

__

And then, in early winter, Lan Siyong is roused from his bed one night and told that Wei Wuxian has gone missing. He joins the search party that Wangji leads, and follows him to a dark house in the woods with the Ghost General leading the way—and then he watches as Wangji kills at least a dozen men in an effort to reach his husband, whom they find unconscious in a cave beneath the house with corpse bites dotting every visible inch of his skin.

Lan Siyong nearly weeps as he hears Wangji’s desperate whispers to his beloved on the way back to Gusu, and watches him hold Wei Wuxian close while refusing help from anyone who offers.

Let him live, Lan Siyong prays silently, when Wei Wuxian is carried into the infirmary with Wangji at his side. Please, for Wangji’s sake, let Wei-gongzi live. 

__

“Qiren?”

A few days after the news about Wangji’s soon-to-be-born daughter is made public (public being a subjective word, since ceremony preceding the birth of a third child is unnecessary, and Wei Wuxian had said that he would rather wait until the baby arrives to make a formal announcement) Lan Siyong discovers Lan Qiren in one of the common rooms, sitting at a writing desk with his head buried in his hands. It’s a strange thing to see his friend do, since Lan Qiren has not looked so distressed since those three dark years after Wangji’s sentencing, and he hardly even looks up when Lan Siyong lays a hand on his shoulder. 

“It was just four weeks ago that Wei Ying was kidnapped and confined in that dungeon,” Lan Qiren says blankly, after he registers Lan Siyong’s presence and turns around to greet him. “If he—oh, heavens—”

Two weeks later, Lan Siyong requests a week’s leave from teaching to attend the trials of Wei Wuxian’s kidnappers, who are being held under Nie-zongzhu’s jurisdiction in the Unclean Realm. He has always believed himself to be a gentle man, but when the only sentences dealt are life imprisonment and execution, Lan Siyong’s heart is strangely devoid of any pity. All he can think of are the corpse bites he saw on Wei Wuxian’s face and throat, and a baby girl who nearly perished with her father before she had the chance to take her first breath. 

On his way back to the Cloud Recesses, he purchases a bolt of thick cream-colored silk with fine sky-blue embroidery and brings it to Wangji as a gift after the next monthly sect meeting.

“Xinhua-jun will need wider-cut robes before long,” he says, when his nephew gives him a curious glance before bowing low in thanks. “Zewu-jun has told us all that he and the child are in good health, and that the little one is growing well. All of our good wishes go with them both, and we pray that you should not hesitate to rely on us in the months to come if it should be needed.”

Wangji’s eyes go soft. “Thank you, San-shushu. It is much appreciated.”

__

Lan Siyong gets his first chance to hold Wei Shuilan at the baby’s full-moon ceremony, while Wangji and Wei Wuxian are running back and forth through the banquet hall to greet the arriving guests, and seize the first trusted elder they can reach to watch little A-Lan for a moment. At first, Lan Siyong merely stands by her cradle to keep an eye on her, but then she seems to sense her parents’ absence, so he picks her up and jogs her up and down to keep her from crying; and then he begins to hum softly beside her tiny ear, soothing the baby back to sleep by the time Wei Wuxian returns. 

“My good Lan-bao,” Wei Wuxian croons, cradling the child to his chest before rearranging her crumpled swaddling clothes. “Such a good baobei, to take your nap even with so much going on! Just like your A-Die, thank goodness, and not like your A-Niang.”

Curious, Lan Siyong clears his throat. “What do you mean, Wei-gongzi?”

Wei Wuxian laughs. “I never sleep properly at night, but Lan Zhan always falls asleep at hai shi, even if he isn’t in bed yet,” he says, with his voice so full of love for the newborn child in his arms and the husband who gave her to him that Lan Siyong feels strangely humbled. “A-Lan’s just like him that way.”

At that moment, Wangji appears with a plate of cut fruit and lotus cake before presenting it to Wei Wuxian. “Here, Wei Ying. Give A-Lan to me, and eat your lunch.”

“Lunch?” Wei Wuxian asks, confused. “But we’re having the banquet in just an hour.”

“You have been having your luncheon at this time for the past six months,” Wangji says stubbornly. “I will not have you going hungry even for a minute, xingan.”

“Lan Zhan, sweetheart…”

Thank heaven they found each other again, Lan Siyong thinks, slipping away to find Lan Qiren with a rising lump of tears in his throat. I do not think anyone else could have ever made Wangji so happy.

[conscious-love]

Hey I am the anon who asked for the advice when someone yells at you.. Your advice is really priceless!!

Could you also elaborate on responding to that yelling in a healthier manner..? Cause I definitely don't know how, which is why I just usually become quite.

Hope you have a lovely day.. You're a pure soul ✨

Hello! 🥰 I’m happy to hear from you, and I’m glad I was able to offer you some clarity. Sure, I can elaborate on that. I would like to reiterate, though, that you don’t have to stand there and take it when someone yells at you. That isn’t to say I’m advocating for avoiding conflict or giving up on people, but I believe that in a healthy relationship, yelling shouldn’t be a thing. That said, we all start somewhere, and there are perfectly valid reasons for why people yell, and those are most often rooted in childhood. If you (speaking generally, not specifically you) have a partner who yells, and you believe there’s a chance you can get them to understand that they don’t need to yell, and that yelling doesn’t help — in fact, it hurts you and the relationship — you can stay if that’s what you want, but I would caution you to set a time limit, and set firm boundaries, because this waiting can be a slippery slope.

How to respond when someone is yelling at us

This will vary from one relationship to another, so you might need to make adjustments. Also, I’m writing this with monogamous relationships in mind, but all of this applies to polyamorous couples as well. It also applies to friendships, families, coworkers and so on (basically, any human-human interaction).

Assess the risk of physical danger. Is this person likely to go beyond yelling by assaulting me, trapping me, or threatening me? If so, it may be best to faun, honestly (this is my opinion, not explicit advice). Meaning, make little or no eye contact, agree with them or at least don’t disagree, and don’t engage them. Once they’ve calmed down, we can make an excuse to get away, or find a time to sneak away. Then we can seek support from family, friends, and/or the authorities if our safety has been threatened. And we should probably leave them (because they probably will become abusive). More often than not, though, we will not be in physical danger. If you are not in physical danger, do not faun. Once we’ve assessed and realized we’re not in danger, we can move on to engaging with the person.

Elaborating on “if you’re not in physical danger, do not faun.” If we faun, we’re contributing to the power imbalance in the relationship. We’re teaching them that yelling works, that it’s an effective way to get what they want (us agreeing with them, us not talking anymore, us dropping the subject, them deciding what we talk about, us doing what they say, and so on). Examples of not fauning: make eye contact, stand/sit up straight with dignity, don’t agree with things you don’t actually agree with, don’t say yes when you want to say no and vice versa, don’t apologize for things you didn’t do or things that are not your fault, speak as clearly as you can (and not too quietly), don’t lie to appease them or in an effort to end the argument (stand in your truth).

Don’t yell back. This just adds fuel to the fire, and it certainly does nothing to diffuse the situation. If we want to have a discussion without yelling, we cannot yell — it’s that simple.

Ask them kindly and respectfully to stop yelling or to lower their voice. It’s important here that we don’t say this in a condescending tone, like we’re their parent or something. No one likes to be spoken to this way. It’s demeaning; when we “correct” people, it implies to them that we believe we are above them. A relationship is a partnership. Our partner needs to know that we’re on their team, that the reason we want them not to yell is so that the two of us can resolve this as best as we can for us both, and grow closer as a result. Not that we think they’re bad for yelling; shame is not a good motivator for change. One partner may have more knowledge and experience with emotional regulation, but that doesn’t mean they’re better. Our relationships (partners, friends, family, etc.) are our greatest catalysts for growth — we are reflected in them; they show us what we lack and what our strengths are. We learn from one another. In relationships, the best way to get our points across and to connect with one another is to speak kindly to each other, with love.

If they don’t stop yelling, maintain your calm and loving voice as much as you can. Sometimes just being calm helps the other person calm down. If we create a space for them where they feel safe, they might be able to calm down themselves. If nothing else, speaking this way will probably not make them angrier, which will get us back (faster) to actually talking. If they still don’t stop yelling, we can ask for a time out, or just take one if they say they want to continue. “This isn’t a discussion. We’re not connecting, we’re not working toward a solution. I want to hear your side, I want to figure this out together. But we can only do that when we’ve calmed down.”

If they eventually stop yelling, I suggest you don’t bring up the yelling at that time, but you can definitely thank them, “thank you for lowering your voice, I feel a lot closer to you like this. Now we can get to the heart of what’s bothering you.” Or something along those lines. Another day or later that day, perhaps we can bring up the yelling, letting them know that when they yell, we feel disconnected, we feel like they aren’t on our team, that it makes us anxious and then we can’t concentrate on the subject at hand (or however their yelling affects us).

If once you have that discussion about yelling, and they outright refuse to work on it, it’s my opinion that you should seriously consider ending the relationship.

If they are receptive and agree to work on it, discuss your plan for measuring progress. “If in 6 months you’re still yelling this way, I’m going to have to make a difficult decision and leave. I love you and I really want us to work, but I just can’t be in a relationship with someone who yells at me. I believe you can do this, you just need to practice, and I’ll help you. When you start to yell, I can remind you that we’re trying to avoid that. Realistically, what do you think we can keep an eye on to let us know you’re making progress? In one month, two months, three months of working on it, how will we be able to see your progress?” Progress can look like: yelling less frequently, not yelling as loud, calming down quicker, etc. Create a plan together, and talk about it every now and then. Reward any progress you see. And remember not to treat them like they’re your “project,” this is a journey you’re on together. And remember — set a time limit; this type of thing can easily turn into an endless cycle of trying and feeling defeated. People often spend years in this tug of war. We can’t change people, we can only guide them — and only if they are willing.

Thanks for the question! And I hope that helps. I know my responses are a little long-winded; I swear I try to cut out what’s unnecessary 😄 I’m just so extra lol. I hope you have a lovely day as well, take care 🥰

~ Bella 💙

Ps. For anyone who wants to read the original question & answer this person is referring to, here it is. I talk about regulating our emotions while someone is yelling at us.

[fairydares]

Presumably people do this because on some level they’re trying to 1) express their annoyance with the fan preference in question, 2) shame other fans out of preferences they don't share and get them to stop holding & expressing them so you can tailor the fandom to your own tastes one person at a time, or 3) both. 

if it's one: a fan who’s put in the time and effort to share their passion, ideas, and thoughts about a piece of media in the form of a story you get to read/art you get to squeal over for free is not the person to project your irritation onto. discord, a blog of your own, or creating your own fan content is the solution. I get how being in a fandom where a trope/ship you don’t like is really popular can be incredibly frustrating, but the best thing you can do is find people who share your preferences and join or make your own, niche sub-community where you can express and enjoy yourself and vent with people who get where you're coming from. that and also blacklist, filter tags, and block liberally. 

two is a much deeper and bigger problem. it's just unequivocally “feelings yakuza” nonsense even if it’s expressed “nicely.” could you be talked into liking the ship/trope/headcanon you're criticizing, or even at all? then why would you assume someone else could or should change their own feelings about it? their feelings aren’t less valid than yours because the preference is popular. 

"agree to disagree except when someone’s opinion SUCKS"-type assertions are memes/jokes about the feelings many of us experience when falling in love with a piece of art then sharing that love with a large body of different people who sometimes, frustratingly, don’t necessarily love it the same way you do. it’s not an actual fact which entitles you to go around telling other fans that their interpretation is “bad” or something. humble yourself.

i'm a fic writer who doesn't mind constructive criticism and can roll my eyes then move on easily from troll comments/reviews (nowadays) but one type of criticism that does just grind my gears is shitting on the entire story idea's premise. like "i don't like this ship" or "i hate [*fandom fic trope*] fics."

word? then you shouldn't have clicked on it.

[lichfucker]

i would love to hear about why all of the ted lasso characters would fail survivor but especially rebecca

hhh ALL of them... okay the vast majority of the players can be explained away with just "physical prowess enough to make them a threat in individual challenges but dumb as bricks and would not be able to strategize themselves out of a bad spot"

this is abt to get long lmao so I'm putting individual ppl under the cut

nate is the most obvious first boot I honestly feel bad about it. bumbling, socially awkward, has NO idea how to assert himself without being an asshole about it (in the rare instances when he does assert himself at all), and even if he's smart enough to be a great strategist (which he absolutely IS), he can't convey it well enough to convince his tribe to overlook his (probable) lack of challenge ability. most of the time, people don't want to draw harsh lines in the sand on the very first vote so they can pretend everyone's getting along and still friends, so nate would be a sort of freebie vote that it'd be easy to agree on.

beard is too much of a follower. what ted says to dr sharon abt him is, "that man has had many lives, many masters." he's very comfortable being led by people with stronger personalities, and even when he disagrees with their calls he will still execute them like a perfect little lackey. the thing about beard is that I think he'd go VERY far in a season of survivor! I think he could EASILY make it all the way to the end! but I just don't think he can WIN. he's genius-level intelligent and SO strategically savvy, but more than that he is fiercely loyal. he'll attach himself to the right person (or the wrong person, as it were), and even if he is whispering in that person's ear all the way through, he would be TOO content to let them take all the credit, he wouldn't push back against them if they disagree with his plans and make a lesser move instead (the whole beginning of 'beard after hours' is him berating himself for not standing up and making the hard calls even when he knew they'd be better), he wouldn't turn around and slit that person's throat at the end to further his own game, and he would make himself socially impenetrable to everyone else. nobody could get close to him, nobody could like or understand him, he'd probably be seen as good collateral if the opposition couldn't strike directly at whomever beard works with, and if he DOES make it to final tribal, I think he'd have a very difficult time convincing the jury that he deserves the credit and the limelight. he wants to win, I just don't think he believes he deserves to.

ted and roy actually would have the exact same problem, which is "physically and strategically competent, but so FUCKING ANNOYING to live with that they get booted for the sake of tribal quality of life." roy would isolate himself socially with his aggression, and ted...

ted is the antithesis of what a "good survivor player" ought to be, which I actually think could work to his advantage in a number of ways? like I think more typical players would find him incredibly unpredictable because he's sharp enough to see what the best moves are, but generous and self-sacrificing enough not to make them. like, there's a reason he's a coach and not a player. there's a reason he says that he doesn't measure success in wins and losses. if he could survive the first few votes, his social game would be AMAZING-- the entire first season of the show is about him wearing rebecca down through the sheer magnitude of his friendship! lesser survivor players would be so endeared to him that they couldn't fathom voting him off, but they're the ones who are getting picked off in his stead. moderately savvy survivor players would not trust a single word out of ted lasso's mouth; there's no fucking way a man can be this kind and this sincere, not on survivor, it's just not possible, he must be plotting something MASSIVE, we have to strike first before he gets his chance. and the truly brilliant survivor players would realize that he IS genuine, he IS sincere, he IS loyal and giving to his core, and that's DANGEROUS. you can't let someone like that make it to the end or they'll take your million dollars. best to shut it down at the jump.

and above all that, I just think that ted... ted would thrive in the pre-merge, in the tribal portion of the game, he's SO team-oriented, but post-merge, in the individual game... perhaps if he had a solid alliance he could also feel that way about, then it might suit his temperament, but ultimately I think he just. wouldn't want it badly enough. I just think the significant majority of people would be vastly more self-interested than ted would be, so they'd take the shot first.

higgins is an interesting midpoint between all three of nate, beard, and ted, in that he's a henchman through and through even when he disagrees with his boss, he's a pushover who'd be seen as a liability in physical challenges in the early game, and he's off-puttingly friendly and polite to the point that nobody would trust that he's being sincere even though he absolutely is. early boot, maybe second or third.

maybe it's just because I've got cook islands on the brain, but jamie (esp season 1 jamie but like. season 2 as well lmao) would play A LOT like early ozzy. an arrogant wonder-boy who's good at everything (did you know there's literally a survivor casting archetype called the "amazing ace"?), with a heart-wrenching underdog story (playing for richmond, that is), an absolute beast in challenges, a huge threat but always immune, he'd win his way to the end but ultimately be beaten out in final tribal by someone smart enough to have dragged him along as their meat shield the whole game.

and as for rebecca... g-d. this one I think hurts me the most because she has everything going for her, she doesn't have a single one of the problems I've listed for anyone else, but I do genuinely believe that rebecca still loses. she's strong and she's smart and she's assertive and she's ruthless and she's sociable and she's a great liar and she's ambitious and she's ADAPTIBLE (she immediately bounces back after not getting the sun to run the photo of ted and keeley and comes up with an alternate plan that will still serve her own endgame, and by g-d being able to roll with the punches and change course is the single most important thing a survivor player can do), but rebecca still loses.

even if we set aside the fact that survivor on the whole is not particularly kind to women over 40... season 1 rebecca, especially early season 1 rebecca, is spite-motivated to the point of self-destruction. she will set her sights on one target and she will be relentless in her effort to get that person out and it'll make her so myopic that she won't see her own end coming immediately afterwards. nobody on that tribe wants to be her next victim-- better get rid of her once she's proven what she's capable of.

she's also dreadfully insecure in the wake of her divorce and when her polished veneer cracks enough to let it show (how many days of being rained on do we think it'll take for her to slip? my guess is five), some people will see it as the vulnerability that finally allows them to connect with her on a human level, while others will see it as a threatening endgame storyline and an exploitable weakness.

there are some juries, particularly old-school juries, that wouldn't vote for her in the end purely based on the fact that a million dollars is just a drop in the bucket to a woman like rebecca mannion welton. that would be a real shame, and a disservice to the game she would have had to play just to make it that far.

what's more likely than that, though, in my opinion, is that rebecca... loses the drive to win. I think that somewhere along the way survivor stops being a game that she is playing, stops being a competition, and instead becomes a journey of personal growth through adversity. I think she, like ted, stops measuring her success in wins and losses. I think she proves herself more capable and resilient than she ever thought she could be, and that is worth more to her than the money or the title of sole survivor, and she stops fighting for it. and maybe the jury admires that, and gives it to her anyway, rewards her transformation. or maybe they don't. maybe they view it as a concession, a forfeit. but I'm not certain that that moment of revelation happens at the final tribal council. I think it happens just before. I think it happens after the final immunity challenge, and she tearfully and valiantly allows herself to be voted out just inches from the finish line. I think rebecca is the fallen angel of the season, and she goes off to the jury with her head held high, which is nice, and so very noble of her, and the fans would be DYING to have her play again but she wouldn't, because she'll have gotten everything she could have wanted out of her survivor experience, and she doesn't need the crown on top of it.

I think rebecca COULD win. she just WON'T.

[snapeaddict]

I was fairly certain Remus did regret his actions though. He literally tells Harry that he often stood aside and watched it happen without saying anything, and that he wishes he had. In the Prisoner of Azkaban, whenever Snape gives a dig at Lupin or insult him and Harry tries to stand up for Lupin, he repeatedly excuses Snape's actions. Hell, even when Snape tries to reveal Lupin is a werewolf and eventually causes his loss of job, Lupin never hits back, or even tries to defend himself.

I’ll divide my answer into three parts. 

1 - Repentance vs Regret 

So, you are right. I do think Lupin regrets some of his past actions - but the thing is, it seems to make you think he understood the seriousness of his actions/has grown up/is now a better person. And I strongly believe it is not the case regarding the subject of bullying. 

“In repentance, there is a retrospection of the past mistake and a search for a better way so as to not commit the mistake if such a situation arises in the future. In repentance, there is a commitment towards change. Thus, repentance is an act that intends to make one a better person. If you are repenting, it means you are learning from your mistakes and willing to change to become a better person.”

This, does not apply to Remus. We know from the books he never understands and/or refuses to acknowledge what he and his friends did wasn’t justified or deserved; he doesn’t address it as bullying as I explain in this post. Lupin’s behaviour pattern is quite clear throughout the saga: he never or only partially acknowledges his faults and they are always someone else’s doing for the most part. 

“Regret is a feeling of remorse that is a negative emotion as it leads one to think continuously about his past action or behaviour and causes more shame, guilt, anger, disappointment etc.

On the other hand, repentance is a positive emotion as it makes one learn about his mistake, and he vows not to repeat it in the future.”

Lupin gives the image of a kind, understanding and mature person who knows how to put into question is own behaviour when necessary when he tells Harry and Sirius he knows he should have prevented them from tormenting Snape (Chapter 29 of OOTP). But then, as the conversation continues, if you closely analyses his thoughts - he keeps indulging into self-beating and talking about his own behaviour. He is completely self-centred and cares more about the image he gives than about the consequences of his actions and this clearly is the way he functions:

- He is willing to risk Harry’s life by not telling Dumbledore Sirius is an animagus rather than confess he betrayed his trust as a teenager: he cares more about what the headmaster thinks of him than about the consequences of his actions.

- He finds the time to acknowledge he should have behaved better - what a mature reaction - but never acknowledges Snape’s trauma or the seriousness of what was done to him. He thinks of it as a “rivalry”. 

- He puts a lot of effort into burnishing his and his friends’ image by justifying bullying with “rivalry”, “jealousy”, and agreeing with the fact “it was a mutual hate and those are things that happen” rather than admitting they behaved terribly.

So yes, Remus regrets his actions. But it is clear to me he firstly regrets them because it gives him a bad image in front of Harry and Dumbledore, and to himself; he never learns from his mistakes nor can make sure to not repeat them in the future, because he simply refuses to acknowledge them and put his energy into minimising them or making them, for the most part, Snape’s own fault. I find Remus to be a self-centred and cowardly person, and this behaviour goes along with it. 

However, I am not saying this makes him a bad man and understand this is directly linked to the fact he is a werewolf and giving a positive image of himself is nearly vital for him. But clearly, the fact he regrets his actions means nothing besides what I just explained, in my opinion, because Remus refuses to acknowledge what they did. He never repents and we must not mistake regrets for repentance. Remember that being critical of a character doesn’t make him less interesting or likable and has nothing to do with your personal liking of him. Snape isn’t a saint either, it’s actually interesting to have characters with layers. However, Remus was written kindly and “loved” by the books’ narrative and POV; Snape was not.

2 - He still behaves, in his thirties, like a bully

...which shows he does not repent or feel sorry for what was done to Snape and their other victims. I had the chance to discuss this with @ottogatto and she was very helpful and gave me a very interesting insight on Remus’ behaviour as we see it through Harry’s eyes in the books. 

As she explained, nearly every time the subject of Snape is brought up, Remus will subtlely put the fault on him. “He was jealous”, “Your father was more popular than he was and he hated it”, “He was jealous of James’ talent for Quidditch”, “Sirius and James were good at everything and everyone loved them, unlike Snape” are embedded quotes from HP5. Why was Snape furious against him at the end of HP3? “Because he wanted the Order of Merlin”; not because Remus had nearly killed him again as well as three students, just as he had done when Snape was younger. He keeps dismissing the consequences of his actions and justifies (to both Harry and the readers), the abuse Snape went through at the hands of the Marauders. He uses a florilegium of excuses commonly used by bullies that are both very vicious and even pervert in their aims (pervert = lead someone away from what is considered acceptable. Distort or corrupt the original meaning or state of things. Exactly what he does repeatedly). This is still the behaviour of an abuser. If @ottogatto finds the post she made about it, you may like to read it as well. Remus refuses to acknowledge Snape is right to act in the way he does regarding the bullying he went through and thus deepens the hate that already exists between Harry and Snape.

From the (wonderful) @ottogatto: You see, when you tell people how your target is jealous of you, it demonizes them in a shameful way. It tells how they are a pathetic person attacking you wrongfully, oh poor innocent human that did nothing wrong. Jealousy, after all, is a fault that remains completely on the jealous one. It gives your listeners the image that your prey is a mistrustful person while putting you in the position of someone who can be envied -- supposedly for your goodness. Because that prey is framed as mistrustful and ill-intentioned, it allows people to doubt whatever accusation your target might have: either "they're lying", or "exaggerating", or "making things up". Only those who are versed in the mechanisms of bullying -- the easy or the hard way -- will spot the problem. Otherwise, people will find a pretext, a rightful excuse, or an innocent, well-intentioned goal, to keep your prey alone, weak, and "punished".

3 - It is absolutely normal Lupin doesn’t defend himself or hits back when Snape reveals he is a werewolf

...because he is in the wrong. Snape doesn’t even cause his loss of job and you may want to reread the books while not taking Harry’s perspective for the unbiased truth. Dumbledore is obviously the one who asks Remus to resign. Remus just nearly killed three students and a professor, and roamed freely onto both Hogwarts grounds and Hogsmeade as a werewolf, risking many deaths and infections because he forgot the potion Snape had been brewing for him (he depended on Snape, another reason not to fight with him). Dumbledore just learns it isn’t the first time he betrayed his trust and he did the same for two years as a teenager, risking Hogwarts’s closure and reputation and his position as headmaster, breaking the promise he made to him when he was accepted as school. The worst thing is, it is Sirius who tells Dumbledore. Not Remus. Remus clearly demonstrates he is dangerous in spite of himself - Dumbledore learns as well he hid a very important information from him (Sirius being an animagus) during the year, supposedly risking Harry’s life. Dumbledore doesn’t apologize for Snape’s behaviour when he tells him goodbye and it is reasonable to suppose it is because he is fine with Lupin’s identity not being a secret anymore. 

I understand Snape’s decision (and certainly Dumbledore’s as well, as read in Snape: A Definitive Reading and various clever posts on Tumblr) may seem cruel and negatively impacted Remus in a society full of prejudices; but I understand Snape’s decision as well. Lupin was a walking danger and had proved it countless of times, nearly killing him: I’ll always argue his decision wasn’t a bad one but you may disagree. I’m sorry for Lupin and what happened to him- but I also am lucid and acknowledge the fact he continuously risked people’s lives and was a danger to society at this point (because said society didn’t help him in any way, don’t get me wrong). But to come back to your main point, Lupin was the only one who caused his loss of job, and he had no legitimacy to call out Snape for revealing his true nature to the public, because clearly only this knowledge would prevent him from doing harm in the future. It’s a complicated situation that goes deeper than Remus and Snape’s relationship. 

Lupin could also be deemed as dangerous on another level: he spreads around pro bullying rhetorics and makes it look okay if it was "deserved". He makes bullying less serious if the victim isn't likable. He makes bullying less serious because he is likable. And this is very wrong both in and outside the books.

[feysandfeels]

ACOSF: very long, very spoilery review

Part II of my review, here you can find the other ones. 

Again, if you did not like the book or had many issues with it, maybe this isn’t the post for you.

I. Plot // III. Future Books

II. Side Characters

My main point here is that I don’t think it terrible that the IC did not apologize to Nesta, not because I do not think a few apologies are owed here and there (Rhys and Amren I’m looking at you), but because it was Nesta’s perspective what we were seeing. We were not seeing Rhy’s or Amren’s or their growth towards Nesta, we were seeing her perspective on them and she indeed had been rude. I thought it was very grown up of her to apologize to Amren and Feyre because, not because people have treated you badly you can then treat them badly and get away with it. That is very immature. What I saw in Nesta was someone taking the first step. If we were to get books from Rhys’ and Amren’s perspective I’m sure we would get the “we should apologize to her too” moment. 

Also generally speaking, I love seeing the IC disagree and call each other out when they are being an asses and the small moments of not intimacy.. but like the day to day of their friendship, like so and so were hanging out and so and so went to dinner or were doing this together, beyond the official court meetings.

Now, for the particulars

- The Valkyries: I cannot with these women. I have so much love for them and for their strength.  And I loved the day to day and innocence of their friendship. Slumber parties? yes, matching bracelets? yes, teasing your friend with the hot instructor? yes, seeing your friend’s worst and supporting them regardless? yes. I loved that Nesta took the risk of deciding to build a friendship with them. I love that they serve also as way for Nesta to gain some perspective into the work that needs to happen between her own sisters. I love how they were refused to be defined by their trauma. I appreciated the way their abuse was framed by the constant need to be more than it, but still not running from what happened. I thought the progression of their friendship was very well done.

I found it quite fitting that they were the ones who won the blood rite and not Nesta.

- Azriel: He shined in this book (and yes his chapter was not great but I will not condemn him for a bitter, immature moment, when I have now a bit more context on why he acted like he did. I still don’t think it was a great look on him, but I choose to look at this as an opportunity of growth). The way he supported Nesta an became her friend is a reminder of how he cares for people and how nonjudgemental he is. I liked getting to know him more through the eyes of someone who has been with him for 500 years and someone who met him two years ago and was like “I don’t hate you but I don’t need you” towards him. 

Who would have thought that he would offer so many comic relief moments. 

- Amren: I enjoyed her I always have. The fact that she told Feysand that their pact was a foolish one even if it was romantic was amazing, I think we all feel that. I love her pragmatic, grounded view and I thought it was very revealing she voted against Nesta knowing about the swords she created, because it showed how much the Summer boat fight had affected her. 

Her scene when Nesta apologizes to her even though I have heard people disagree with it, I liked it. Kneeling is not begging for forgiveness, I think Nesta knelt as a sign of respect (which is a callback to when Feyre tells her she respects Amren during their three way fight). Respect for the first person to whom she was not related that saw her for all that she is and accepted her and became her friend. A sign of respect to the first friend she had...who she hurt. 

- Elain: Talk about power huh? Physically she was in like what, three scenes? but jesus christ. I have nothing but respect for her and I am very intrigued with her mindset. I love that she stood up for herself and reminded us that we have naturalized her in this innocent, sweet lady, when she is that and so much more. I think it makes it way more clear why she wanted to hook up with Azriel. 

I do want to know how she and Feyre bonded while Nesta was *not there*

- Feyre: My love, my sweet. She was on Nesta’s corner, always – and I think it’s very hard to argue otherwise– : she voted for Nesta to know about her powers, she forgave Nesta for telling her about the pregnancy, she tried her best with the tools that she had to help her sister and she kept her distance. I think there is no place for discussion about the way Feyre loves Nesta, because she does, deeply and so does Nesta. The slow progression of their relationship through Nesta’s eyes was the right pace for this: Feyre was so associated with that guilt Nesta was feeling, that until she untangled all that couldn’t she attempt to have a good relationship with her sister. 

I will say it’s a fucking shame we did not see the discussion between her and Rhys when she found out about the risks of her pregnancy. Maaaaaan I would have loved that drama

- Rhys: I think out of all the relationships to unpack this one was the one that excited me the most and it did not disappoint. I think they both worked towards being more receptive of the other person. Sure we did not see Rhys do it because this wasn’t his PoV and yes, we still saw him make mistakes and let his emotion take control and be unfair sometimes, but I did not find it unbelievable that by the end he is in a place where he is making an effort a true one and not just for Feyre’s sake. 

The moment when he helped her from her nightmare is still one of my favorite ones from the book and when he kneeled to thank her. Like I’m sorry we have seen how Rhys is and we know that kneeling is not something he does and what that represents is huge... I don’t understand why people  are so mad Nesta didn’t get the verbal apology. 

Overall Nesta’s relationship with him could be seen as a metaphor of her accepting and learning to love or thrive the live she now has. Through the way she thinks of him we can trace her acceptance of her existence as fae and the dynamics of the life in the night court. 

The balance between the “he is amazing” from Cassian and the “he’s mediocre at best” from Nesta was very much needed. It allowed for a human Rhys to appear on the page. 

- Lucien and Mor:  As much as I missed not having them around or talking about them more, there presence was felt throughout the book. I enjoyed seeing Nesta’s opinions on them change. It’s not like the are bffs by the end, but she treats Mor with more respect and tries to see Lucien beyond the “stay away from my sister” goggles, which shows a lot of growth from her part (since we don’t get their povs I hope they put in the effort to see her differently as she did in the book once she gained perspective). 

Also, Cassian made sure we understood that he sees that Mor is hidding something. So like we know he suspects. The way he talked about her and about their bond is so special to me. And I am very happy we got to see more of their friendship even in the absence of Mor. 

[itsclydebitches]

shameful copy-paste questions that I asked @ironpines, but I wanted your opinion: When Qrow gets around to killing Ironwood I wonder if Ruby will view her uncle differently since she's only aware of the villains killing people and maybe death of someone evil (Yang & Blake?), but not someone who was and ally and should still be. Currently would (C)RWBY even know how to handle the consequences-responsibility-emotions-though of how this could-should change off set how she would view others

I’m legit here for the community aspects of copy-paste questions 😂

So yeah, let’s say that Volume 8 ends with Ironwood dying at Qrow’s hands, either a deliberate murder, a lack of effort in protecting him, intending to kill him but then changing his mind but then Ironwood dies anyway, etc. Whatever happens, the point of this hypothetical is that Qrow bears a certain amount of responsibility in Ironwood’s death and Ruby finds out about it. 

Based on who Ruby is “supposed” to be, I think it should staggeringly change her view of Qrow. I use “supposed” in quotation marks because obviously as a viewer unaffiliated with the production of RWBY, my interpretation of the character has no canonical weight. As I’ve mentioned in other recaps, everything is how it’s “supposed” to be by virtue of it coming from our authors. They have full control over who Ruby “really” is. Thus, I use “supposed” to acknowledge that the Ruby we currently have contrasts the Ruby we were originally introduced to (without the story making significant, persuasive strides to explain that change). RWBY broke an unspoken agreement, so to speak. They introduced a kind, compassionate, brilliant, optimistic girl and in doing so set up the expectation that we would get to see that version of Ruby over the course of the tale. Yet she’s been replaced by a very different version of Ruby  — a Ruby in name only, I’d argue, given how staggeringly she contrasts the character we began with without, again, witnessing logical growth — and I think this version of Ruby wouldn’t give Qrow killing Ironwood a second thought.  

Why? Let’s tally some of the character moments we’ve seen from her since Volume 5: 

Ruby chose information over compassion  — the scene with Ozpin in the snow  — telling us that she is now concerned more with what she thinks she “has” to do as opposed to how she’s treating allies. This has only grown more pronounced in relation to Cordovin (who cares about fighting/taking headshots at allied officials when we “have” to get to Atlas?) and eventually Ironwood himself, setting up the potential interaction of Qrow likewise saying he “had” to kill him and Ruby just nodding in understanding. Yeah, we all “have” to treat our allies horrifically to get what we want/need at any given moment 

Ironwood is no longer an ally to Ruby’s mind, not even a lapsed one she hopes to reconcile with. She told the ENTIRE WORLD that he could no longer be trusted. Whether the world takes this teenager’s words at face value doesn’t matter because Ruby intended to set everyone against Ironwood, irrevocably. That’s not something you do to someone if you have any intention of allying yourself with them again. Ironwood is already figuratively dead to her, so why would she care about his literal death? Especially when that would solve many of Ruby’s problems (AKA, the consequences of her previous actions)

As you mention, we already had the death of another villain/antagonist that Ruby happily ignored: Adam. I’d say that at this point Ruby sees Ironwood as just as bad as Adam, potentially worse given that she has far more of a personal connection to him than she did the abuser/assaulter she never met face-to-face. So if Yang and Blake stabbing a man to death doesn’t changer her opinion of them  — doesn’t even faze her, isn’t even given a discussion — why would Qrow doing the same to a (now) equally bad guy cause a change in perspective? Whether Qrow actually kills Ironwood in self-defense wouldn’t matter, all he needs to do is give some version of events that presents it as such  — another “I had to”  — and Ruby will hug him like she did Yang

Indeed, we’ve already seen this sort of warped justification by the narrative in regards to Qrow, demonstrating that no, RWBY can’t handle this mix of consequences/responsibility/emotions. Meaning, we all saw Qrow join Robyn in needlessly attacking Clover, take up his weapon again when given the chance to back off, team up with Tyrian, break Clover’s aura when Tyrian was captured... and yet the story still had Qrow go, “It’s Clover’s fault he died. I had to do this” with no hint that he’s wrong to think this way. RWBY can’t even manage responsibility when we see, plain as day, the hero teaming up with the villain to help take out a former friend... so they’re going to manage it for the utter mess that is Ironwood’s downfall? I doubt it. 

Long story short, I think the Ruby we began this show with, the one I thought for five volumes that we’d continue to have as our protagonist, would be horrified by what her uncle has done and it would absolutely be something she has to grapple with. The Ruby who steals from Ozpin, ignores him for months, screams that she has to attack Cordovin, lies to Ironwood, shrugs off Adam’s death, demands that Qrow obey her leadership, denies that adults ever helped her, tells all of Remnant that they should turn against a world leader on her say-so alone... this version of Ruby is too arrogant and callous to care. Baring a (welcome) change back to her old self, this Ruby will nod, agree that it had to be done, and make a generic speech about how they’ll (somehow) do better now that Ironwood is out of the way. Ruby used to go to great lengths to demonstrate care for her allies and even extended a hand to the villains. Now, she treats anyone who disagrees with her as a villain (and that’s ignoring that actual, villainous things that Ironwood has done — shooting Oscar, taking control of Penny  — that Ruby doesn’t know about yet). I honestly don’t think she’d care if someone found a way to kill Ozpin, a comparative good guy when set against Ironwood now, if they did it without hurting Oscar, so the guy whose plan involved leaving Mantle behind and who encouraged his followers to use deadly force against her friends? Nah. Ironwood is already dead to this version of Ruby and anyone who actually kills him, even her uncle, will at best get a “You did a horrible but totally necessary thing...”  and at worst victorious pats on the back for defeating this evil.

[gregorygrim]

Dragon Prince Hot Takes

!!! Full Spoiler For “The Dragon Prince” Seasons 1-3!!!

So I finally got around to watching The Dragon Prince. Timely, I know, but better late than never i guess. I’m not completely caught up yet as I only got as far as S3E7 “Hearts of Cinder” in this first sitting. Considering I haven’t binged any series in almost two years, I think that’s pretty respectable. This means I won’t discuss the last few episodes here, except for a couple of things I was unfortunately spoiled for already, hence full spoilers.

These are basically my first thoughts and opinions after the binge and a good night’s sleep. It’s gonna be a lot so if you don’t care or don’t want spoilers…

TL;DR: 7½/10. Generally enjoyable, there are some aspects I’m not exactly fan of, but no dealbreakers

Firstly to everyone who told me that this was the new ATLA: you all need to rewatch Avatar stat! Like seriously. There are definitely parallels and given the cast and crew I think that’s what they were going for too (which is why I think it’s fair to compare the two), but still, no.

Secondly I love most of the worldbuilding and love that the series at least tries to give it to us in a bit of a non-linear fashion, even if it is kind of clumsy at times. I know some people are put off by expository dialogue and flashbacks, but I’m an epic fantasy nerd, I need that sweet, sweet lore to live as much as you mortals need food.

I like that there was clearly an effort made to integrate the worldbuilding in more subtle ways. For example you may initially find it kind of weird that all these different human ethnicities are existing perfectly integrated in what looks like a medieval society, until you remember from the opening monologue that the Human Kingdoms are the result of a massive diaspora following the human exodus from Xadia, so obviously people got all mixed up everywhere. It’s representation with an excellent in-world reason and that just brings me joy.

I also love the magic system(s) even though we haven’t really gone into that just yet. it really feels like there was a genuine effort made to create underlying mechanics for the magic rather than just making each spell a vaguely elemental themed ability. I really hope we’ll dive deeper into that in coming seasons.

I also like the little nods to other works of fantasy: Ezran’s ability to talk with animals is a reference to Tolkien’s world where some royal bloodlines had the ability to speak with animals, specifically birds; Primal Magic and its spells being cast with Ancient Draconic runes and words might be reminiscent of the Ancient Language from the Inheritance Cycle etc.

Thirdly the main cast is great. Callum, Ezran and Rayla are all interesting and relatable characters in their own right and as a group. I’m not going into each of them individually here, but while I think the series as a whole falls short of ATLA, as protagonist parties go I dare say this one is nearly on nearly on par with the gAang.¹

And yes, I love Bait, which I really did not expect following the first few episodes. I love his weird pug-toad-chameleon design, I love that he works like a flashbang whenever somebody says a quote from Scarface (I wish they hadn’t dropped that later on) and I love how done he is with everything and everyone at all times. I’ve only had him for 25 episodes, but if anything happened to him I would kill all of my followers and then myself.

On top of that, and speaking as someone who god knows is really not into shipping, I love Rayla and Callum’s relationship. It’s believable, it’s refreshing and it brings out the best in both characters without changing basically anything about them. Just two good friends who fell in love. A++, maybe even S tier.

Unfortunately though I can’t sing the same kind of praises about the villains. None of them are terrible (as in terribly written, most of them are pretty awful people), but with one exception they just don’t stand up to the protagonists in quality.

I could simply not take Viren seriously. Even now that is probably the single most powerful magic user in the world, he just has such strong Karen energy, every time he finishes a speech I am overcome with the urge to say “Sir, this is a Wendy’s” and it does not help the mood. I’m not even sure why. It might’ve been the voice because the guy who did Viren (Jason Simpson) also does a lot of kinda slimy characters in various anime dubs, it might be that over-the-top walking stick, idk.

What I’m saying is that as a primary antagonist he simply did not work for me. Which is doubly a shame because this kind of tarnishes the real “Big Bad” of this story by proxy. Aaravos, even as an invisible ghost, with his voice coming out of a caterpillar and next to no info on his backstory, has more style and gravity than all the human antagonists combined. It helps that he is by far the best designed character and Erik Dellums has the voice of a young god, but I’d argue even without that unfair advantage he has the potential to be a top tier villain. While he is stuck as Viren’s “little bug-pal” though he is just being dragged down.

(I’m aware that as of the final episode the caterpillar familiar is undergoing metamorphosis, probably to create a new body for Aaravos’ spirit to inhabit outside of the magic mirror, so I’m definitely hyped for more of him in the coming seasons.)

As for Soren and Claudia, I’ve got mixed feelings. This was one more aspect of the show that a lot of people compared to Avatar and while I see the parallels to Zuko & Azula, they are still very different, at least where Claudia is concerned. I’d also just like to mention that a lot of people told me that they thought the direction in which their storylines went were really surprising and I can’t disagree more. I predicted that Soren would defect to the protagonists on episode 5 right after Viren told him to kill the princes and I knew Claudia was going to stick with her father from episode 12 onward. My point is, it didn’t feel like some kind of plot twist, the way some people made it out to be, and which I don’t think was the intent.

I definitely got the sense that Soren was at least a Zuko-type character, though still not a Zuko clone, and as with Zuko I was consistently able to empathise and sympathise with him and his predicaments. I also appreciated that his dilemma is the result of his convictions and not him being kind of dense, which would’ve been all to easy and probably would’ve ruined his character for me. As it stands he is extremely milktoast, but perfectly functional for his purpose in the story and I can definitely see him evolving further and getting more interesting as we go on.

Claudia is where it gets complicated. Again, I can see the Azula parallels. But unlike that character, who is her father’s animal 110%, Claudia doesn’t strike me as a victim of Viren’s manipulation the way Soren undoubtably is. The way she talks about and uses Dark Magic, how she talks down to Soren and how even Viren finds it difficult to communicate with her, tells me as an audience member that she is an independent person. Which tells me that the cruelty and enthusiasm for causing harm she regularly displays is her own will. And that was before she straight up leads Callum on to manipulate him.

On the other hand I can absolutely relate to her devotion to her family, her big sister role (even though she is younger than Soren) and the way both the separation of her parents before the story and Soren’s injury in episode 16 must’ve affected her because of this. I know that, if my brother had become paralysed from the neck down and I knew a way to heal him, I would not have hesitated to kill that fawn either. Then again her relationship with her father is very different from parental relationships I am familiar with, so I can’t really say I see why she is so devoted to him, other than she promised her mother to stay with him years ago? ¯\(o_Ō)/¯

So basically Claudia falls into an emotional grey space for me. I can’t really tell how to feel about her either way and I’ll just have to see where she goes from here, which, while fine, isn’t necessarily great for an end of season cliffhanger imo.

Seeing as I’ve already talked about some of the show’s shortcomings, I think it’s time to dive into some of the what I would consider flaws.

Firstly this show needed at least 12 episode seasons. I have never made a secret out of my dislike for the modern short seasons and while I recognise that in the current climate in the industry giving everything full 25 episode seasons isn’t really doable, the pacing of this show, especially for the first season is just outright bad at times. It works as of the second season, but the first season alternately feels like it’s either rushing through or crawling along the whole way through.

The believability of Rayla’s and the princes’ relationship really suffers from this the most. It comes a bit out of nowhere on the boat ride and is then taken for granted way to quickly. Like Callum, seriously, this girl tried to kill you and your brother not even a day ago and you are currently cut off from all allies you have ever had until now. A little skepticism isn’t misplaced here. I also wold’ve liked if we’d just gotten a bit more of a sense of movement with the characters. I get that this is not the kind of show where we can just make an entire episode about the characters travelling and camping, intercut with plots centred around a more expansive supporting cast, but still I really would’ve preferred if Xadia didn’t feel quite so around the corner.

Another issue is with setup and payoff, which I think is partially a consequence of the pacing as well. A lot of smaller plot points are set up within the same episode as the payoff just wreak havoc on the narrative structure. A good example is the episode where they ride down the river in a boat and Bait tires to go into the water, but is saved by Ezran, who then explains the story behind Glowtoads and how they are pefect bait for large water predators. Then Bait falls into the water and is attacked by a massive water monster. This happens within five minutes of one episode and never comes up again. To me that looks like sign of rushed editing, which is probably not entirely the crew’s fault, given that they are on a schedule from Netflix, but it’s still a point of critique.

It unfortunately also manifests in the occasional line of horribly forced dialogue, often for things we can literally see happening on screen. Again, this is mostly the case in the earlier episodes, but it never completely goes away.

Finally, and this is where i get into serious issues that made me want to write this, we gotta talk about representation in this show.

First: disabled representation, meaning Amaya. Why is Amaya deaf? Because it’s good to have disabled representation.

Why is Amaya deaf and a high-ranking military officer? Because they didn’t think it through.

I know this may be a contentious opinion, but it is my belief that the purpose of representation, particularly of disabilities characters may suffer from, in fiction is to, y’know, represent people as they are in life. That includes especially the struggles they face and have to overcome, sometimes their whole life. This is not just me talking out of my ass either. A couple years ago I discussed this with several people that are disabled, specifically blind or otherwise severely visually impaired, in a different context obviously, and the general consensus was that it’s better to have representation that shows their life and their abilities as they are, rather than how they might wish they could be.

A mute or deaf person cannot be a medieval fantasy army general, no matter how good they might be in melee combat or who’s sister they are, because at the end of the day, they’re not able to give commands while they are holding a sword and shield. That such a massive logical oversight, especially in comparison to the extremely well done example of representation I mentioned above, and has so little impact on the plot that it leads me to believe, this aspect of Amaya’s character was tacked on in the last minute without being given any thought for the sole reason of the story having a disabled person in it. All this does is necessitate the existence of two otherwise entirely unnecessary characters, Gren and Kazi, both of which achieve nothing, aside from sometimes being literal set dressing.

That is where representation ends and tokenism begins.

And unfortunately this generally lacklustre attitude also extends to the LGBT+ representation on the show.

As of S3E7 “Hearts of Cinder” we have had two onscreen gay couples on the show (onscreen in the sense that both partners were onscreen and they were somehow confirmed to be in a relationship on the show). One of these, the queens of Duren, literally die in the same flashback they are introduced in, which incidentally also features them invading a foreign nation to poach a rare animal and subsequently starting the conflict at the series’ core. Not a great look.

Aside from serving as a tragic backstory for their daughter, the most impact they had on my viewing experience was that they made wonder how the fuck royal succession works in Duren. (People who know me are rolling their eyes right now because I’m bringing anarchism into this Dragon Prince review, but I’m telling you, this why fantasy monarchies aren’t compatible with LGBT+ politics in the same setting. Dynastic governments are inherently bigoted, you can’t have it both ways.)

The other couple are Runaan and Ethari, Rayla’s caretakers, although if I’m being honest you wouldn’t be able tell based on Runaan’s treatment of Rayla in the first episode. By the time we actually meet Ethari and find out about their relationship with Rayla, Runaan is suffering “a fate worse than death” (direct quote from the show) trapped in a gold coin.

I mean come on. That’s about as “technically not ‘bury your gays’” as it gets.

I think I need to reiterate here that my point is not that this show or its creators are somehow malicious. As i stated in the TL;DR: I don’t think this is a dealbreaker for liking this show. But it does demonstrate that they are prone to slipping to some potentially harmful tropes and this needs to be criticised and pointed out to them.

In conclusion, I really love this show. It’s not ATLA, it never will be, nothing else will ever be ATLA no matter how badly (and terribly) Netflix tries. But it does and should not have to be.

What it has to do though is improve. A lot of the building blocks are already there, such as Aaravos or Claudia’s development, Callum’s father, the origin of Ezran’s ability, the purpose of the “Key of Aaravos”, the true fate of King Harrow (we all know his soul is in the bird, right?) etc. Some things like the treatment of Amaya’s disability unfortunately won’t be fixable as far as I can tell, but if they at least manage to fix the gay representation I can make my peace with that.

¹ I know I said I wouldn’t go into each of the characters individually, but a) you should never trust a stranger on the internet and b) I really want to talk a bit about Callum. Specifically the “mystery” of why the hell he is connected to the Sky Primal. I write “mystery” because I think it’s fairly obvious from whence this talent came: there is only one humanoid species we know of with innate access to the Sky Arcanum and one of Callum’s parent’s is unidentified, presumed dead. 2+2=4. Callum’s father was a Skywing Elf. That’s why he recognised Nyx’s boomerang weapon. He remembered one like it either from his very early childhood (remember that he has photographic memory) or Sarai kept one and he found it at some point.

On top of that the name “Callum” or at least the pronunciation is clearly derived from Latin “caelum” meaning “sky” or “weather” and I already mentioned that Ancient Draconic is just bad Latin. It’s not very subtle. Unless they pull a complete 180 concerning the lore about Primal Magic he’s definitely going to be a half-elf, which would also just so happen to make him the perfect mediator between the Human Kingdoms and Xadia. Hmm, it’s almost as if they are planning ahead.

My question: How the fuck did that happen? Or rather: how did that fuck happen? I don’t think even Harrow knew or he probably would’ve a) paid more attention when Sarai advised against poaching the Magma Titan, because obviously she’s gotten around Xadia more than him, if y’know what i’m sayin’ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) or at least b) put it in his final letter to Callum. Unfortunately we know basically nothing about Sarai except that she was a soldier alongside Amaya and already had Callum before marrying Harrow. So does Amaya know? This is probably the most interesting plot thread in the whole story and as far as my friends told me it’s not going to be touched on anymore in the last two episodes than it already has thus far, which is basically not at all.

[breadclubrising]

Your thoughts on Ibushi feeling mentally weak because of his loss? I feel like he hurts(? If that makes sense like he is not being enough for his idol and that affects his performance in some kind of way, also DT proposing a new partner downplaying Tanahashi's effort and them being pushy in "beg us for the titles! Muahahaha" gives out they want it more than GA since they already decided not to go for a rematch until they win one. In the end just want to hear your thoughts Ibushi's storyline

Ha, Anon. You know not what you ask. I have been working on an essay about this for a while now (aren’t you shocked!), so I’ll excerpt some of it here. And now this is becoming an essay in its own right. 

(I made a post about this and...)

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Aw thanks, Anon. I will try to address all of this. It is very long, and I’m sorry.

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I’ll start by saying this: Golden Ace made me stop watching wrestling for a while. It hurt that much. Just to put out there how many feelings I have about this.

First things first:

I do not know that I can convey with human language how much I love Hiroshi Tanahashi. My favorite readings of his character give him a tragic edge; to me the shining superstar is not nearly as interesting without his dark side: his need to control, his unwillingness to admit that he is slowing down, his single-minded view of what is Good and Right. His career arc—where he began as an iconoclast who in-kayfabe single-handedly saved NJPW from ruin and saved its wrestlers from the brutality of Inokiism, and has morphed into a well-meaning but narrow-minded patriarch who Knows Best, in part because of his being so beloved for what he achieved, gracelessly pretending he is not getting slower—is heartbreaking and beautiful. He beat the man only to become the man. He sacrificed so much and tries to impose his way on others as a way of justifying his sacrifices. I have... just so much written about Tana’s career arc. It’s one of my favorites ever.

And honestly, I love the story of Ibushi and Tanahashi as a story. It’s heartbreaking and beautifully performed. On an out-of-kayfabe level, I adore both of them and their ability to share of themselves so deeply while still making a story for public consumption. 

But in kayfabe, as an Ibustan? Tana and I are gonna have a problem.

(so, so much more below this cut. you have been warned.)

My slacker genius hero 

idk if you’ve noticed this, but Ibushi is consistently depicted as kind of weird. And I confess I’m projecting a bit here, but part of being Weird On Main is that you do it because you cannot be not-weird no matter how hard you try. Maybe sometimes you can contain it, but your default state is weird and whatever it is that normal people do, you do not understand it nor are you capable of doing it.

His entire career has been guided by his heart first and ambition second. That’s how he is, he follows his heart. The dearth of fucks he gives about what he should be doing is truly awe-inspiring. And that was probably for his own survival: when you are that fucking talented, what you should be doing is a weight you carry with you at all times. People constantly wondered why he didn’t try to ‘do better’ than DDT. As soon as he got to NJPW, people wondered why he wasn’t bulking up to move up to heavyweight. As soon as he was able to gain enough weight, he was in the G1 (where he promptly got a concussion). 

He has always seemed to struggle with the weight of Living Up To His Potential, knowing that talent like his obligated him to answer for it, but also knowing that he doesn’t feel invested in things unless he’s enjoying himself. Career achievements were never much of a motivator for him—he wanted them, of course, but always ran into the wall of having to sacrifice his own happiness or mental health to get them. But like... normal people do that all the time, right? Sacrifice and hate their lives in order to reach some long-wanted goal? And like many Weirds, Kota seemed to spend a long time stuck in the tortuous I SHOULD be able to do this, normal people can do this brainspace.

The best example of this is something that Tanahashi would have admired: at one time, Kota was the first wrestler in a major promotion to have two home promotions. Like literally two full-time jobs as a wrestler; on the full-time roster at both DDT and at NJPW. What kind of wrestler is worth that physical risk and scheduling nightmare? What kind of wrestler is worth sharing as a commodity with one of your competitor promotions? Kota Fucking Ibushi is.

This burned him out quickly—he says, far more emotionally than physically—and he left wrestling altogether for a while, with the official excuse of finally getting surgery on a herniated disc in his neck. He wrestled at WWE for a bit before, shockingly, finding it too constrictive. 

Finally, he decided to become a freelancer, which is A Choice when you are one of the most naturally talented people a sport has ever seen. It means you won’t be winning major titles and you won’t get a ton of investment from any one promotion, but it also means you get to control what you do, when you do it, and how much of it you do. Ibushi rejected any career path that would lead to traditionally-defined success, and he did so intentionally, in service of his mental health and ability to love his job.

Because like. He tried to do what a normal person with his level of talent would do, and he couldn’t stand it. It made him hate wrestling and his life. He pushed himself hard and he failed. Not meaning that he did not succeed in terms of his career—he was doing great when he left NJPW, and WWE offered him contract stipulations and money that were unheard of—but meaning his body and mind began failing him. Finally, he’d been forced to accept that the world’s expectations simply did not work for him. And then he had decided to be unashamed of that, and built himself a way of being that fit him, in a culture where obedience is a sign of maturity and poise (you can see it in the word: 大人しい; “quiet, docile, obedient”; literally “like an adult”). 

The Ace and the Golden Star

Tanahashi and Ibushi may sort of be coming to a place of understanding now, but they haven’t historically seen each other as equals. Ibushi calls Tana a god, and Tana has always admired Ibushi’s talent, but been disappointed by his work ethic. (Hiroshi “Very Extremely Healthy And Non-Fucked-Up Relationship With Work Ethic” Tanahashi and Kota “Reacts Well To Being Told Not To Do Things” Ibushi.)

When Ibushi came back to NJPW for the G1 in 2017, he was coming back to it on his own terms, as a freelancer. He debuted his finisher Kamigoye (which, in case anyone has never read my blog before, means “go beyond god”) to beat Tanahashi during that same G1. 

Ibushi lost his subsequent challenge for Tanahashi’s IWGP Intercontinental Championship, and at the end of the match, he tearfully embraced victorious Tanahashi, who patted his very worthy rival on the head. Ibushi felt humbled, like he hadn’t lived up to his potential. By losing, he felt he’d disappointed Tana.

And maybe Tana didn’t disagree. Tana spent the 2018 G1 (and the theme continued through the latter half of 2018) saying in his backstage comments that Kota Ibushi wasn’t living up to his potential. That he needed to work harder and put his nose to the grindstone to become Great. 

Tanahashi genuinely admires Ibushi and is amazed by his talent, so he truly saw it all as coming from a place of love. He’s a big fan! He just wanted to see Ibushi do his best, and Tana has a really strong opinion about what “doing your best” means. In Tana’s mind, Ibushi (who one thousand percent Did Not Ask) needed to get serious and win some titles, needed to commit and work harder, devote more of his time and energy to wrestling, and generally follow exactly the path Tana himself had in order to succeed. And Tana didn’t mind saying so without invitation, and to the press.

Oh, and don’t forget that coincidentally Ibushi was on a tag team with Kenny Omega, whom Tana disliked for reasons he juuuust couldn’t put his finger on. (Later it came out: Kenny’s an immigrant! Ha ha! Great and good! I could do a whole other essay about this storyline. It was REALLY good and they had to abandon it completely.) Ibushi needed to get serious about his life and stop wasting time with that loser (IWGP Heavyweight Champion) Kenny Omega. Kenneth was dragging Ibushi down, said Tana, which—regardless of whether you agree with Tana or not—is uh... probably not an opinion you should just volunteer out loud to the press about someone you purportedly care about.

Tana was offering ‘helpful’ suggestions without realizing that not only was Ibushi happier than he’d ever been, he was happy because he had already tried the things Tana was helpfully suggesting, and had deliberately decided to do the opposite of that, so that he could be happy.

When your entire thing is in my career I do things on my terms, this is who I am and I’m not sorry, and someone is telling you you’re doing your career wrong, it’s gonna sting extra. Because you’re a fucking weirdo, and if you could do things the expected conventional way, you would in a heartbeat. So the thing that you are “doing wrong” is a thing you have fought tooth and nail to do in a way that works for you. If it meant being shamed for it, it didn’t matter, because there was no other way you could have done it. 

So, Tana didn’t know it, I don’t think, but his ‘the way you’re managing your career is wrong’, tragically, really meant ‘the way you are is wrong’, when applied to Ibushi.

(And? When you’re doing it wrong and part of what you’re doing right now is being extremely fucking gay? That “get serious about your life” plays into a whole mess of extremely unfortunate tropes about gays. I have no idea if these tropes exist in Japan as well, but western gays are deeply familiar with them. Of course I don’t at all believe Tana meant it that way, but unfortunately, as A Gay, it’s too familiar for me not to hear it there. Feels bad man.)

YOU’RE NOT MY DAD

After all that well-meaning (?) shit talking, Ibushi and Tanahashi faced each other in the 2018 G1 finals. Ibushi lost. Was Tana right about all that untapped potential? Was Ibushi once again humbled because god beat his ass?

Last time Tana beat Ibushi, they hugged, Tanahashi magnanimously recognizing the great effort on Ibushi’s part. This time, he held out his hand for a handshake. They’ve come so far as rivals. Right? 

Ibushi looked at it, then held up both hands in front of him, shaking his head and backing away. He said backstage that Kenny would have hit Tanahashi, and Tanahashi clearly wanted a handshake as equals. But, he said, he is not Kenny, nor is he Tanahashi. He does things on his terms.

He didn’t care if it looked disrespectful: Tanahashi’s handshake was a patronizing offer of forgiveness for Ibushi’s failure to live up to Tana’s ideal. Ibushi’s rejection was not disrespect, but demanding respect from someone who had explicitly told him he did not deserve it from them unless he became a different human being than the one he’s fought to be. 

Ibushi left with his head high, so defiant in his weirdness that even if God Himself says you need to change who you are to be worthy of my approval and acceptance Ibushi says, actually the way I am is great, thanks, and I will love myself whether you approve or not. 

I can’t say how much he means to me, because of that. Him rejecting fucking god telling him to be someone else—someone who did not love himself—was more than I could have ever dreamed I’d get out of wrestling. A man who had found, as I had in my life, that no amount of wanting to be able to do things the way that normal people do them would grant that ability, had then decided to find a way that would work for him, and do that. And so had I, and around the same time (Kota and I are also p much the same age). And then, when defeated, instead of allowing someone to say ‘this is because you did not conform,’ he said ‘I cannot be truly defeated because tomorrow, I will still do things the way that makes me happy and fulfilled.’ I could write so much more but I’ll stop here: it meant everything to me.

I mean... dad?

Fast forward to the 2019 G1. A lot had changed. Ibushi had signed full-time with NJPW, much to Tana’s satisfaction. In the leadup to Wrestle Kingdom that year, Tana had very deliberately and openly used Ibushi as a cudgel against Kenny Omega, saying Omega did not deserve his partner, Ibushi, and did not deserve his home, Japan. He had told Omega, who had dutifully worked his way up the NJPW ranks to become the most beloved gaijin in NJPW’s history, that he should not be the third Musketeer (the big 3 guys in the promotion from each generation; the others of this generation being Naito and Okada). Putting a gaijin in that role is Not Done, and Kenny was already Top Gaijin, which was the highest a gaijin should be allowed to go. Further, Tana believed that Ibushi, a part-time freelancer who was not signed with NJPW, should be the third Musketeer, because he is Japanese and Kenny isn’t. 

In kayfabe, Tana had negged Ibushi’s Golden Lover right out of Japan, but NJPW seemed pretty determined to erase the memory of Omega, so Ibushi and Tanahashi were on friendly-ish terms,

“Everything I am begins and ends with Tanahashi,” Ibushi said before the match. Kota won, which almost everyone was expecting, but the real question we all had: how would he treat the Ace once he’d won? Once he embraced him, once he’d pushed him away. Who was Kota Ibushi now, in relation to god? And in relation to the company itself, which Ibushi had recently committed to ‘for the rest of my life’—and which Tanahashi personified? Victorious Ibushi crawled over to Tanahashi and gratefully clasped his hands in fervent appreciation, foreheads together, Tanahashi smiling approvingly, patting his head like ya did good kid. Later backstage, Tana said something like “I sensed a lot of pain in you when we fought, but I can tell you used it to overcome your shortcomings, let go of what was holding you back, and reach your potential.” And at the end of the match, Ibushi had seemed to be in agreement, looking prostrate and humbled, seeking forgiveness for his past sins.

I was saying ‘i-BOO-shi’

Except, like… his “past sins” were: soul-searching and learning what was important to him. Healing physically and emotionally from burnout. Making his way back, on his own terms and no one else’s, to the career he’d had to leave to save himself. Reuniting with a his lost love—not without complication, but undeniably making him happier than he’d been in years, finding the joy in wrestling again, giving himself the emotional energy to invest more and more in his career, but smartly this time, protecting himself. And then telling the Ace of New Japan that he would continue to do things his own way, and no one else’s. 

He did all of this against the backdrop of a culture that punishes individualism or makes it a spectacle. He asserted himself nevertheless, because it was either that or a breakdown. And all of those things were what Tanahashi felt he should be apologetic for, what he had wanted Ibushi to excise from his wrestling and his personality in order to Reach His Potential. 

And... it worked. Ibushi played by the rules, conformed to expectation, and not only did he win, he was accepted and forgiven for his waywardness. Turns out, Tana was right all along: Ibushi needed to be less himself in order to be truly successful. Not only that, through career success and sacrificing the things that made him happy (because they also made him most himself which, again, was bad), he was finally truly fulfilled. 

After an entire career’s worth of refusing for his own sake to do what others expected of him, he finally lived every Weird Person’s wildest fantasy, wherein we sacrifice every strange thing about ourselves that we’ve spent our lives learning to love, in order to Conform, but instead of blowing up in our faces, THIS TIME, FINALLY, it worked, and at long last we found that being Normal truly does bring happiness and success and our parents finally love us. He’s through the looking glass, but he can’t hear us on the Weird side anymore, and doesn’t even remember that there ever were Weirds. And now all the Weirds back home have seen the horrible truth, that changing who you are fundamentally in order to be obedient is… actually the right thing to do, which of course means they were right about us all along. We aren’t good enough just as we are, fundamentally; our parents were justified in withholding unconditional love and everyone else was right to mock us. We throw all our Kurt Vonnegut books into the garbage and we weep.

That was the story. 

So at first I kind of half-heartedly tried to convince myself that all of this was that thing where no matter how much sincere emotional work you do, you will never stop secretly craving your parents’ approval; we are practically hard-wired to want it. And then I moved toward seeing the grateful gesture as a sort of forgiveness, a recognition that his pedestal of Tanahashi had finally toppled and shattered. After all, Ibushi is the sort of dude who got all the way down on the ground to bow to both Nagata and Yoshi-Hashi after beating them in G1 matches, and that certainly wasn’t an apology, it was humble gratitude for their work. So maybe this was a true going beyond god—Thank you truly. I don’t need you anymore.

But... it probably wasn’t that, and it was hard to believe my own bullshit. Ibushi is also the sort of dude who, in his first entrance upon his return in 2017, had gotten all the way down on the ground to bow to fans in deep apology for having been gone for two years; ie apologizing for caring for himself. Heh. But uh... maybe this Tana thing was just a heat-of-the-moment thing, like a quasi-kayfabe act of true honesty?

LOLNO! Time for Golden Ace to immediately win the IWGP Heavyweight Tag Championships, thus not only cementing Ibushi’s return to the Well-Behaved fold and certifying Tanahashi as The Guy Who Was Right About You, but also having all of these things be kayfabe events that happened within the span of a little more than two years: 

Ibushi gets an emotional gay reunion with his tag team and life partner

Tanahashi uses Ibushi as a weapon against said partner, who is forced to leave the company, vindicating Tana’s opinions about both Ibushi and Omega (I don’t care how much you hate Omega, that is a shitty thing to do even if we only care about Ibushi’s feelings.)

Ibushi and Tanahashi win the tag team belts that the Golden Lovers never even got to challenge for

COOL AND GOOD. LOVE THAT.

That story really hurt. I couldn’t watch them be a team.

Haha unless? This current story really hurts too, honestly. But maybe it’s making the past hurt a little less. MAYBE.

So, Tana has been getting physically stiffer and slower for a while now, and now it’s kinda becoming hard to ignore. 

And maybe, hanging out with Tanahashi seemed cool at first but then when Ibushi realized he’d excised every interesting thing about himself in order to conform to what Tana expected of him, it started to wear on him. I’m hoping I can be allowed to have that interpretation.

So Ibushi’s forced to be like ‘hey I need you to step up your game bro,’ which, if Ibushi ever fantasized about turning the rhetorical tables on Tanahashi’s criticism, doesn’t seem to feel nearly as good as he’d hoped it would. It feels bad for both of them.

And Tana seems humbled, because he’s been so embarrassed and stubborn about admitting that maybe, possibly, potentially, he could be slightly perhaps showing signs of failing to be immortal. But maybe he also now sees that his ‘tough love’ criticism of Ibushi didn’t make Ibushi better, ultimately, it just made him care about and value the same stuff Tana does. And oops, now maybe Ibushi has ideas about success that don’t really take into account the limitations Tana has, even if he’s worked very very very hard to try to push through them until he was forced to admit that he needed to find another way. This sounds familiar and I hate it!

Tanahashi is now trying to find his way. And Ibushi, once humbly appreciating Nagata and Yoshi-Hashi after beating them, is now hard-eyed and almost deliberately lacking awareness of others’ need for compassion. Tana got what he wanted—Ibushi in his own image—but now he’d probably be a lot better off with the sparkly-eyed mischief-maker who doesn’t care as much about titles as he cares about loving wrestling. 

Of course, Kota very much had his own reasons for doing this too—he felt the pressure to win titles to match his talent at least as much as Tana felt it for him—but it’s still kinda heartbreaking that he became the determined and serious never-getting-too-close-to-anyone company man that Tana envisioned him as, and then it worked. That’s a completely new way of judging his worth as a person, when he’d spent his career before that judging his worth by how happy and fulfilled he was. So when he loses now, he’s even more hard on himself because he’s also letting Tana down, and Tana really believed in him.

But I think he’s also starting to get uncomfortable, because he’s getting dangerously close to re-learning a lesson he has already learned pretty painfully. He’s done all this work and sacrifice only to find that—shockingly— winning and being seen as a Top Guy is still not worth your happiness and mental health.

And it was PRETTY shitty of him to walk away from Tana getting a beatdown! That felt VERY bad. But Tana has been failing to admit that he can’t do the shit he used to do, to his own detriment. IMO that doesn’t justify Ibushi leaving him to deal with shit on his own but also, I kinda don’t blame him if he feels resentful of Tana for asking him to be a different person in order to fit within Tana’s vision of him, all while Tana refuses to admit that he himself does not fit the vision he has for himself, which is ultimately making it harder to do the thing Ibushi now feels more driven to do than ever—partially because of Tana’s influence—which is win. WHEW.

FEELS BAD.

But! Hey! Then Tana did exactly what Ibushi asked and like cut a little fat and got more serious about his hair and tan. And then he got a pin on Dangerous Tekkers and now he deserves a title shot. And he’s like ‘Ibushi in Soviet Russia god stans u’ and Ibushi is like “excellent sir, ready 2 only care about my personal success!” So now they’re friends again? And they’re even, because a person not accepting that they have to conform to others’ expectations, and a person not accepting that they are aging like every human being does, are totally morally equivalent? And all that nuanced storytelling was totally in my head? 

Yay? 

So where is this going?

Bro idk. I’m so deflated by this storyline it’s hard to think of a scenario that would make me stop being devastated by potentially having THE major reason wrestling means so much to me (Kota Ibushi’s weirdness and perpetual defiance of expectation, for the sake of fiercely and unwaveringly committing to himself and the belief that he deserves to be valued for who he is, his hard-fought path that he carved for himself when he saw that he couldn’t do stuff the way he was Supposed To, succeeding because he is unapologetically honoring that in a world that demands conformity and obedience and punishes deviation; PLUS GAY, which makes everything even more poignant I’M TOTALLY FINE) permanently written out of existence. 

If Kota learned that forcing yourself to be normal 1. totally works, 2. brings instant success, and 3. was the right thing to do all along because the way you were was stupid and foolish and the fact that you ever thought you should be accepted, let alone allowed to feel okay about yourself, let alone happy, when you can’t even do the most basic human functions correctly, just goes to highlight how deeply alien and unacceptable you are, fundamentally, as a person LIKE I SAID I’M FINE IT’S FINE, then I should probably stop caring about wrestling and get to figuring how to live a 9-5 existence and how not to care about things to a degree that makes other people laugh at me and not use ten-dollar words and stop making men feel nervous because I’m way smarter than they are, and also i guess have a dog and find a monogamous husband whom will get me pregnant with some kids, and I’ll go to bed at a reasonable hour! Because! If Kota can do it and be successful then goddammit I can too.

I’m fine.

But idk. It’s hard to imagine why they’d do this little rift storyline and have nothing come of it except Golden Ace are better bros than ever before. I don’t even know what I want. Right now it feels like this arc is about Tana’s development, and Kota is kinda a supporting character. 

Maybe it felt valuable to in-kayfabe acknowledge the fact that Tana sometimes looks like his knees and hips don’t bend, but ultimately show that the Ace has still got it! And also Kota Ibushi is a selfish asshole who talks down to his elders. I mean, a stern but fair leader? I mean a driven, tough-love champion? 

Maybe Tana will fail in the title match despite his cosmetic improvements, because he has still fundamentally failed to earnestly engage with his limitations. 

Maybe he really has accepted and learned to work with a new reality and now he’s on fire.

I think the only way to make this feel satisfying would be to turn it into a long-term rivalry of some flavor, where Tana had the Ace Wars with Okada, now he can have a God War with Ibushi. When Tana can no longer be NJPW’s heart and soul, I don’t think anyone can fill those shoes. But he has already in many ways passed on the soul of NJPW to Okada which was cemented with the Ace Wars, so maybe this is how he’ll eventually (hopefully a while from now) pass on the heart of NJPW to Ibushi; make Ibushi earn it the same way Okada had to unequivocally prove he was worthy of Ace, including to Tanahashi himself.

I could see a rivalry where they go their separate ways but are grateful for having learned some things together. They truly both feel like equals now, and they support each other living their best lives. This would be a rivalry where they constantly push each other to be better; Ibushi figuring out a way to be true to himself and still win, and Tanahashi figuring out how to have a glorious, once-in-a-century late career and gaining new vitality as he throws off the weight of pretending he’s still in his prime.

RACHEL ARE WE GETTING A HEEL TURN OR NO

ORRRR I guess one of them could turn heel, because they’re both the shiniest babyfaces and that would rule. While they both know how to heel when needed and take up the mantle gleefully, neither has had a proper heel run really. 

In normal times I’d say ‘but I don’t really think it’s likely that either of them will turn heel’, but these are not normal times. I truly don’t know what to think or expect. Bullet Club is missing its heavy hitters and may be for a while (can it be Yujiro’s time to shine at last??), which is why EVIL and Dick Togo are there now. In a way I could see a heel Tanahashi take advantage of that power vacuum and it would be incredibly badd ass.

I could see Tanahashi resenting Ibushi and getting real mean about it, doing that thing where someone provokes Ibushi until they go too far and get rekt. Like going back and using all that ‘i’m your father and i disapprove’ bullshit he did. Ibushi wins the HW title, Tana challenges and loses bc he makes the same old ‘but i’m actually 27 years old still’ miscalculations that have been a problem for Golden Ace. But he gets his groove back and eventually beats Ibushi for the HW title, and gets a later-career run he deserves (i lov u tana). 

But... it actually would NOT rule at all to see Ibushi turn heel. 

Which is a major shame, because you have no idea how on board I am, in theory, with him donning the black and gold, dyeing his hair back to black, being sadistic all of the time, thinking up tag team moves for him and ZSJ, getting evil smiles of approval from The King, and somehow becoming good at not only talking but saying mean things, which he never ever does even when people are mean to him. In a just world, I could be very down with Suzuki-gun Ibushi. 

But we do not live in a just world, we live on Earth in the system Sol in the year 2020 AD. If Ibushi did a heel turn now, it would most likely be in further service of the narrative that his desire for independence and happiness was selfish and bad, his individualism and unapologetic strangeness were embarrassing, and Tana was right to tell him to stop being gay and start destroying his body more. Because a dude that disrespects his elders and role models is Not A Good Dude. Because rebellious people whose biggest act of rebellion is loving themselves when everything around them tells them they shouldn’t are Wrong, Actually.

So as much as in theory I’d love to see him in Suzuki-gun, in practice I would probably never be able to watch wrestling again because it validated the worst fears I have about how I move through the world. If Kota Ibushi is Wrong for being weird then perhaps truly nothing is salvageable for me about this horror show of a planet.  (Also, practically speaking, the Bullet Club being down so many folks might mean that the other true heel faction is less likely to get new members.)

Like, in-kayfabe, yeah, this story already feels like a betrayal. But also out of kayfabe, if it turned out that the Lesson was ‘if you conform you will be successful and loved’? And Kota took part in that story? I know it sounds extremely well-adjusted of me to say, but I’d feel a little like he betrayed me; showing me it was okay to be weird so convincingly and then going ‘actually I always hated being weird, I don’t regret giving up everything I thought I loved about myself, in order to be normal. which means not only is it possible to overcome being the off-putting freak you are, but you are failing at doing it every single day.’ Or—perhaps even worse—the story I thought I saw, that made me feel seen (like, actually), was never there to begin with. Which... would mean that the story I saw was actually just what actually happened in real life to a person I admire so much, who has brought me so much joy. I don’t think I could take any of those outcomes and still enjoy wrestling.

That’s totally a normal thing to feel, right?

Epilogue in which ya girl has been exposed to too many harmful chemicals recently

In order to soothe my faltering ability to find joy in wrestling, I shall note a very cracky theory, which is The Middle Path: 

Ibushi’s a strange dude, and he plays by his own rules. He does not like factions; he’s in Hontai more or less by default... but NJPW’s resident Island of Misfit Toys faction is down one heavyweight, and was already very small. 

Perhaps Ibushi and Tanahashi will agree to disagree about whether you should be weird and happy or drill your body into a fine pulp until you die, and their rivalry will take a more official form when Ibushi’s arc comes full circle: where he once graciously tried to accept his old friend back into the fold so many years ago, his old friend is now well and truly the Shuyaku, and welcomes him, fist raised, to the loving arms of the Weirds. Milano Collection AT weeps because he can now stan more fervently. La Estrella Dorada Ingobernable has, after all, always been the very definition of ungovernable.  (This seems unlikely because of Ibushi’s gr9 rivalries with SANADA and Naito, but in a world where EVIL joined Bullet Club, do we really know what’s real anymore?)

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WHEW! Anon, if somehow there is anything you feel I did not address sufficiently, please let me know. Otherwise, as always, thank you for giving me an opportunity to write about something that interests me, and I am sorry for who I am as a person.

[dutifullybitchypeach]

My two cents worth for the first six chapters and some reasoning around IC and Nesta. All my own personal opinion. Read if you want but it's just my general thoughts. Please, please don't flip if you disagree. I love Nesta and the darkness she is in right now and her behaviour is taking over this sassy no nonsense Queen and it needs to change.

THIS INCLUDES SPOILERS.

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Is the House of Wind a prison...technically no. Nesta just does not have the ability to fly or winnow. And no one is on standby to be her taxi. She can leave by walking. Amren threw her that challenge on purpose. She's not alone, Az and Cassian live there. And the Priestesses. Yes it has dark memories. Yes. I know that and I take it on board.

On a side note, it's irritating to hear 'I'm not your prisoner" from Nesta (who I like!!!!) I think of Azriel, Feyre, all the Fae Under the Mountain, even Elide 💗. Then again everyone's idea of prison is different. But the fact remains. She CAN leave. It's just bollocks hard. For a reason

But we know it's what she needs. We know that. We don't have to like it. Not one likes the reality. The ultimatum is uncomfortable and harsh. Our way or fuck off. They are not suggesting manual labour or degrading her. They suggest training, food, working in a library, purpose, being part of something. This doesn't sound bad to me. It just sucks it comeing across as an order. But this is Nesta's POV and she doesn't do requests or pretty please. The fact I got riled up reading it is a compliment to Mass. I had to take a major step back and reassess. Nesta sees everything as an attack. And no that is not her fault. Stay with me! I agree people enjoy provoking Nesta ( Rhys, Morrigan, Cassian) and then get affronted when she bites back. At some point I'd enjoy her retaliation akin to her ripping their head off :) And their vow to never go there again.

The IC 'review' is what annoys me. The "we" will decide where you go from here if you play ball. My hope 🤞 is that Nesta will TELL THEM where she will go/what she will do with sass. But right now sitting on a rock instead of trying to train is fucking juvenile (Again I stress I like Nesta). She hates her power as far as I can tell. But she is so low she can't see the wood from the trees. Or the hand that is been given to her.

Does Feyre have a right to be embarrassed. Yes. I'd die of shame if my sister (I have 3 btw) kept at that again and again and again all on my families dime. Without even being polite or respectful to anyone. She's only ever provided for Nesta. Period. Not to mention being a high lady with all the responsibilities that entails. Living her own life (well earned) and well life in general! I mean Jesus, Nesta is not her only priority. She maybe ours lol! But Feyre has 101 things going on. Give her credit. She tried with Nesta several times. Gave her space and time which Nesta wanted while still making the effort to reach out. Nesta needs to acknowledge that. Feyre was bankrolling her self destructive lifestyle and it had to stop.

The whole "your behaviour reflects badly on us". Well yes it does. Nesta doesn't get a free pass. The whole of Pyrithian is rebuilding and our girl is pissing away money. That's not even hers! Her behaviour does undermine the Court, folks must eye roll when IC lay down the law when your sister/ sister in law is prancing around being a with a big fuck you. Everyone is broken and rebuilding. And it's a slap in the face. Is the saving face irrelevant to Nestas issues, yes! But is Feyre allowed to feel fucked over, yes! Sisters say shit when they fight. Arguments are not flawless debates. Their emotive and bring out the worst in people. Feyre darling is feeling the pressure of being high lady and it came out all wrong. Especially when it's your sister acting up.

And Nesta never tried (as far as Feyre can tell) WE know Nesta IS trying, and surviving every day is a battle. But Feyre doesn't. Why would she. Nesta doesn't speak to her. But their relationship is so toxic that it's beyond Feyre to get it. And that is not her fault. NO ONE is perfect. There is only so much responsibility Feyre can CONTINUALLY take.

Rhys being there. I have a feeling that a male will not let his pregnant mate anywhere near someone he is afraid of. It's instinctive. Someone who hasn't trained to control their powers especially. He is on High Lord mode cause guess what he is a High Lord. This is his court and the people in it his responsibility. Not to mention the oncoming drama with the queens on the horizon and general court bullshit. Does he abuse his position of power.... well in this world the HL have the power. Everyone is answerable to one. Even Amren obeys the rules. Nesta doesn't/won't recognize that. Which is rare. They tricked and lied to get her "consent" surprise surprise a dick move from Rhysand/Feyre. We know they will do that for the "greater good". Lie, steal etc all in the name of saving the day. He screwed Morrigan over in front of her ass Father for flip sake! My point is the NC stability is his priority now more than ever if impending fatherhood is on the way. It's no surprise he wants Cassian to take on more responsibility. Nesta is a liability cause she is AWOL. It's worth noting he had this plan for months but Feyre refused preferring to give Nesta space and the opportunity to decide for herself what she wanted. So we could assume if Rhys had his way Amren and Nesta would have still been friends and it would have been far different. Amren would have been by her side. Do I condone his domineering behaviour, no not in a million years. And neither did Feyre. Will he apologise? Probably not he's an arrogant ass. And wanted to control the room. Fact. He wants/needs Nesta on board the team to bolster his ranks. She is that powerful. We KNOW he will do anything to protect his family (baby on the way).

Morrigan and her nasty comment on sending Nesta to The Court of Nightmares. Cassian acknowledges it's an insult but also the truth. That's a harsh fact on how Nesta is percieved right now. But I believe she wouldn't just thrive there, she would CONQUER ;) I don't know if Morrigan is referring to the people that abused her or the "type" of people that live in Hewn City...? Will we give HER the benefit of the doubt... hmmm.

Morrigan and that comment on good people giving Nesta the benefit of the doubt...that's Morrigans issue. She never gave Eris the benefit of the doubt and yet he proved her wrong with Keir. She's all over the place as a result . And she's been lying for 5 centuries. To her family. Cassian said he values the raw honesty that he has with Morrigan. Wow is he going to get a shock some day. Nesta may be a bitch but at least she's an honest one. And Morrigan knows it which must rattle her to no end. Point is Mor isn't supposed to be in this story very much and Nesta never really cared for her opinion anyway. So neither should we. I've checked out of Mor. Knowing she won't give Azriel closure or honesty just makes me not consider her opinion. It suits her to keep Nesta down in the gutter so her lie can continue.

Amren - her behaviour. I have to remind myself Amren is OLD, a stint in the Dungeon is probably a standard response! Her idea after the Summer Court fiasco and the jewels was to go there and crush them. Amren is by nature harsh. Which is why she gets on with Nesta the most. Cassian tells us she cares. Nesta can't see this. Her comment on Nestas sex life in ACOFAS. People ran with that. Fae lifestyles always kind of disgusted her. She wasn't Fae so bodily functions were an alien concept. Now she's Fae she's slightly horrified. Also no one else has much to say on Nesta's bedroom antics. Cause it's a non issue Mass doesn't do slut shaming. So neither should we. Speaking as a woman also here.

Elaine - we know Elaine craves peace and quiet. Confrontation is not her thing. Being there would mean Nesta would use her as a crutch, and I'm not sure Elaine wouldn't cave. Nesta pushed her away on purpose and Elaine choose to try and find some sort of contentment. That's her right and choice. Agree or disagree. She walked away or decided she can't deal with Nestas difficult behaviour. I don't know. Or is she oblivious to the situation ?! Who knows. Elaine is an enigma! It's the first 6 chapters! Right now they are two different people and have been drifting apart since ACOWR. Nesta is a dichotomy of pushing people away and hurt when they stop trying. It's exhausting for the people that have to deal with it. Who are not perfect and have their own issues and lives. Elaine has stepped back from this situation. Because either she recognizes it needs to happen or cannot sway the majority. Though I think Elaine did say something to Feyre, cause when Nesta pressed her she refused to say what Elaine thought. Just that she wasn't there and not part of the issue. Feyre is high handed when it comes to her sisters. Because that's the role they allowed her. Nesta is fighting back. And Feyre takes it personally. Which is only natural. They're sisters.

Cassian! Ah Cassian. He was spectacularly rejected and being around Nesta is a constant reminder. That's enough to make me cringe in a corner. He acknowledges he stayed away cause it hurt too much. He's a soldier and has serious self discipline. He has no idea how his behaviour/comments hurt her until she confronts him. Deliver him a few home truths. Another well deserved kick in the balls. Flirting with Mor, not sure his behaviour there has ever changed. He keeps it normal cause being around Nesta gives him the shakes!! Lol. He is slack jawed after Nesta and wants her badly, passion we know is big thing for them. It ignites them. Raw and real. Recognising Morrigan is aesthetically beautiful is just a fact. We know she's a looker. So what. Meh to this issue some people have.

We know from spoilers they start training and communicating and Mass is a Nessain ship so I'm excited to see this grow and flourish! I've read spoilers here on these two so I've no qualms.

Cassian for me is right. He and others have been through similar situations before so can empathise. But until she answers him back without snapping he won't be able to be that shoulder to lean on or turn too. He's not going to be her Prince though. Nesta is her own Queen!

I've read some spoilers on her friendships and I'm so happy. I've no idea how it will go but it says to me that the IC have a block when it comes to Nesta and don't see her the way others do and Nesta opens up to people who don't have a predisposed prejudice.

Also the IC have no idea how Nesta is going to react at any stage. It's like walking around on eggshells. Why would anyone actively choose to be around someone like that. That and very obvious fact they are BUSY AF. They don't have time to have a daily bollicking from Nesta. Yet all fall in when the plan is announced. Make what you will of that.

Some further musings:

Nesta being reminded she has to be respectful to Clotho and the priestesses is sobering. Like wow, people can't trust you will have basic manners. Again I know this is Feyre saying it but Christ to worry about that. Will be interesting with Gwyn and that friendship and a nice reality check for the IC.

I spent 4 God damn books understanding Rhys motives. He's a prick yes. Which I enjoy. But the bastard people are making him out to be I don't agree. Half of Pyrethian hates/hated him, Nesta hating him won't stress him. Or her for that matter. They have a 2 people they both care about in common and will just have to deal.

Training in Illyria, well Nesta is powerful, training in the mountains is probably damage control if she explodes. And a change of scenery from her prison!

Rhys was controlled for 50 years, Amren escaped worlds to be free. I don't believe they want to control Nesta.

Families are messy and fucked up. The intervention is a perfect example of how arseways it can get.

Azriel being Azriel I'm not sure about anything with him right now. I've read the snippets and spoilers and I'm all over the place. He is one of my favourites. FYI when I say IC I never mean Azriel I don't know why but I always imagine he finds it just plain drama and avoids it at all costs. Nesta is drinking and gambling away her life. Okay! Nesta is now training and we are all on board to help. Okay! Nesta is a powerful Queen and we are all afraid. Okay! Nesta has turned Cassian into a drooling mess and hes ass is hers. Excellent ;)

Sisters! They need to deal and respect each others independence. They are all in the wrong. It's just annoying at this stage. Personally I'll rip into my sisters when I need to but usually get a red mist when anyone else does. Even if they are in the wrong. I have a habit of always defending them.

So overall the angst killed me in the first 6 chapters. Did Rhys dominant shite irritate me? Yes. Do I want Nesta to make it clear she's not a pawn in his/their world? Yes. In spectacular fashion please.

Did Feyre handle it well? No. Does she ever deal with Nesta well? No. Perhaps only when Nesta is more inclined to talk. Which is rare. The ultimatum we know from Cassian sickened Feyre she recognizes it for what it is it but really cannot see any other option. Her fault or a combination of factors you decide. It was hyper tense situation we all just wanted to get through.

Would we be so angry if this was a soft approach headed by Elaine/Feyre/Amren? Would Nesta even react?

Cassian compared Nesta to a sleeping dragon who has just been woken up. Nesta needed a kick in teeth. A major reality check. Life in Pyrethian is hard. This a fae world. She is angry and incensed they have dared to 'interfere' and 'assume' she will be controlled. I want her to tackle her demons, confront her fears her issues with herself and others and live! Live! I've no idea what she wants and can't wait to find out.

***I've read some spoilers on the end. The rumours and the actual basic plot ending. I'm like Mass I love a HEA. And am hopeful I'll be satisfied. I had a similar theory when I heard the pregnancy rumour. A move by Nesta that would never have anyone doubt her.