to the life you claimed insignificant ! . . .
featuring — jiaoqiu x gn!reader
synopsis: meeting your lover up again at the xianzhou luofu under a blue moon after his treacherous assignment succeeded. (the same day he has a dialogue with the merlin's claw)
consists of: 1k2+ of my word vomit. angst but with comfort eventually. MAJOR 2.5 QUEST SPOILERS (sfl and come back when you're done playing ^^). insert crying reader, my desperation during the coping stage. really, really encouraging and giving jiaoqiu a lot of love that he deserves.
when the alchemy commission receives cases of injuries after the false wardance's success, you are quick to arrive at the luofu that same evening, omitting all proper welcoming methods made for a guest and travelling all the way from the xianzhou yaoqing on a starskiff as soon as the news reaches your ear.
your heels clicking on the cobblestone floor rapidly, wandering across a cheerful, unsuspecting town in a pre-wardance bustling atmosphere with a burden in your chest.
stopping by the entrance of the working area, you encounter lingsha, who seems to be waiting for you in the first place.
"ah... i reckon that you are the guest general feixiao informed us about; she said you will be visiting–"
"jiaoqiu, the doctor. i'm his lover," lingsha is taken aback by the urgency in your voice as you compose yourself. "my apologies, miss, please lead the way."
"i understand your emotional state right now, please don't feel bothered, follow me."
there is no room for pleasantries, and lingsha seems to understand it as she says nothing more on the long walk from the port to the elixir research terrace. the thing you perceive about this place is that in contrast to the healer's market of the commission, it is silent; you can only hear the calm sound of waves crashing over white sand, buildings' dim lights and a few locals scattered around, all under the bright moonlight.
----
jiaoqiu stands out there again, this time no moze nor feixiao anywhere near, just him under the bright blue moon, inert and pensive. the calm breeze reaching his ears, he flutters them, his left hand resting on the railing. he tries picturing the scene of the glittering sky above those bubbling waves, mind travelling back to all that happened, only to grieve himself at the painful moment when he sat leaning against the wall, felt like being torn apart, eyes blurring, words incoherent. he could've done better than that, but his sacrifice has already done for the best.
it was a big loss, indeed. jiaoqiu cannot cry. his condition right now (for the sake of his eyes) does not allow him to. he swallows the choke stubbornly slinking in his chest that urges his tears to run while distracting the mind to something else, but when he thinks of you, he cannot help himself.
he avoids the ill feeling in his heart at the fact that he will never be able to see your pretty appearance ever again, set aside how your pouts and the faces you make surely appeal to him. he surrenders to the idea of watching you in his infirmary daily, concentrating on your work with the alchemy, even making his way to scare you off then pamper you with kisses later as to make up for it.
it's agonizing... he feels useless; his life is entirely upside down now perhaps all he can do is nothing other than sit still and be a burden to you, to the merlin's claw, and to moze most of the time. in the worst case, retiring from being a doctor.
"jiaoqiu?"
he steps back, surprise written across his face as he recognises that voice. that warm, honeyed voice that he longed to hear, but then if only his eyes were clear, he could sprint towards you and shove you up for a good breath-taking hug. yet he cannot. he smiles sadly and pictures the sight of you urgently running towards him in his mind by the clicking sound of your shoes on the stairs, your soft panting and the whispers you breathe. finally, he can feel you again, by your undeniable soft herb scent, his hand in your hair as you sink desperately in his embrace, your face buried in his shoulder.
"thank my lucky stars... you are safe," jiaoqiu hears that crack in your voice when you say it; he sighs in relief. after all that happened, you're still his, and even loving him so kindly like this.
"[name], is it really you?" he chuckles, heart warm. "travelling a long way here just to look for me?"
"of course!" you exclaim, voice angry. "who would have thought you'll screw yourself up this bad, huh??"
jiaoqiu will tease you for the cuteness he found in that sulky remark but he quickly falters when he senses warmth and dampness on his shoulder as you begin to shudder slightly.
"darling, are you..."
he halts. his grip around you tightens, heart twists. the injured foxian then lets out a sigh, his soothing manner on your back tender and reassuring.
"don't cry. you'll wound me badly for it," he coos. "there, there. i got you. it's okay, i got you."
you pull away, your hands resting on his face, your thumb gently brushing against his left eye, the amber colour opaque.
"my poor boy..." he heard you, jiaoqiu wishes he could see your face right now; he wouldn't want to forget it ever, his palms reach you in return, wiping away the tears that stained your cheeks.
and when you pull him in for a clumsy, desperate and affectionate kiss, your wet cheeks brush against his, jiaoqiu mind's rest assured, he needs you, needs your love more than anything he could risk his life for. you are always enough for him.
----
against all odds, jiaoqiu returns to the xianzhou yaoqing, it takes you quite an amount of time to make him feel used to the new circumstance and encourage him to continue his career as a healer with the support of the love of his life. everybody is surprised.
well, he can still make prescriptions based on your description and the picture in his mind of the condition the patient is in, no? the cooking is done by you with his instructions, and you're doing the best you can for him, motivated by chaste love and care.
you find yourself engaging in most cooking sessions with him. without his eyes, jiaoqiu only relies on you to do the cutting and separating herbs and ingredients in portions, and you also never forget to help him get used to the feeling of cooking with a "blindfold" on as he insists.
"woah, slow down, jiaoqiu. here, let me help,"
jiaoqiu smiles fondly as he nudges affectionately against your scented hair, your grip firm on both his hands as you guide him to cut the veggies. you scoff.
"attention, please. don't sniff on my hair like that."
you shake your head slightly with a sigh, knowing too well that this cooking session will end with a clingy jiaoqiu greedily requesting more of your kisses, probably leaving the kitchen and the meal he wants to cook undone. no matter how extraordinary he is as a healer, he is just your baby...
that is a scenario on the bright side. and, admittedly, this new life at times can be disheartening and demanding, there are countless times you have to hold his face with adoration, eyes pleading, your kisses on his cheeks are tender, clearing up his thought of the insignificant role he plays, convincing him into believing that he is your noteworthy, and perhaps... making him feel loved and cared for is your top priority – you were never an unimportant individual, my love. i love you.
nevertheless, you'll have to get used to new adjustments made specifically for your lover and pursue the cure that general feixiao promised him on that destined day. things are well settled, at least by now. and may the journey your future holds be calm and peaceful with the ones that you love most, jiaoqiu.
© 2024 https-sourlimes. all rights reserved. (banner source: jiaoqiu official illustrations from pom pom's official weibo.)
ending notes: please visit my big sister q (@/akutasoda) for her jiaoqiu fic – hold my hand, lean on me – where she ate and left no crumbs splendidly with the adjustments that you can possibly make for the pink fox after the 2.5 quest! (my ending probably sucks but it's a happy one for my own sake...)
44 notes
·
View notes
lol i've complained about this a fair amount on twitter but I got a comment last night? that made me think about this again.
And its ...getting weird comments that I cannot tell if they're being RUDE or there's a language barrier or some combination of both.
I finished a standee art last night and posted it and this morning I get a reply from someone who's replied very confusingly before...."You're tired and need to go to sleep"
Which LMAO wasn't entirely untrue but that was the whole comment on the art.
Not to put this person on blast and obviously do not go bother them if you know where the comment is at.....
But like what the hell does that mean? I F E E L like this is a translation error or a miscommunication. But thats the ENTIRE problem. THAT IS THE ENTIRE PROBLEM. I'm tired of getting comments that are CONFUSING to me AT BEST...and more often just fucking rude.
Like....its weird. Bc i've been on the internet for close to 3 decades now??? Lol I'm so old. But.....I've been more confused in the past year or so with how people talk to perfect strangers on the internet. I think it might be a generational thing but like LMAO ARE THE "KIDS THESE DAYS" just ......fucking RUDE??? Like I've heard pre-teens and teens talk to each other and its pretty mean but so were a lot of kids when I was a teen. So maybe its a language barrier there.
But I feel like....because everyone is so comfortable talking to perfect strangers on the internet, and getting EXTREMELY overly close? or thinking they have the right to speak to people as if we're super besties (which in turn means saying a rude backhanded compliment thats intended to be nice but just sounds mean??)...its just....so common lately for me to just be like "Why the fuck would you say this to me?"
I'm not your friend. I'm just a random artist online that draws from a fandom you probably like (or hate? Idk your life lol)
I think this whole thing STARTED with Japanese and Korean artists (and probably lots of other languages that aren't English) begging people to stop leaving horrible reaction images or people saying "I'M GONNA K*LL YOU!!!!! THIS IS DEVASTATING!!!! I'M DEAD!!!!" and the poor artist being like...okay well this is a thing I have to live with now.
And I thought we DID move past that but I feel like its back just without the reaction images bc Gen Alpha and Z thinks reaction images are cringe LMAO (small blessings)
But ....I forget which drawing I did.....It was something sad. I think it was a sad zosan?? And this person LITERALLY said they were going to hunt me down. And that wasn't the initial comment. They said something equally as rude and when I asked for clarification for what they meant they were like " I'M GONNA FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE"
GIRL ITS FANART OF ZORO AND SANJI!?!?!?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN
Again. I've talked about this til I'm blue in the face (fingers?? since its typing??) about this on twitter. And I've been sitting on this comment for nearly 24 hrs just....fucking confused. And I hate this ....confusion. Bc In My Day(tm) .....lol I didn't like mean comments then either but it was usually some asshole in my tumblr mail being like "YOU FUCKIN SUCK!!" lol
I might just be too stupid to interpret these quirky little comments but like
guys please if you like something. Just be normal and say "omg I love this" or like a cute reaction that is APPROPRIATE to the situation lol Don't demand things from me when I'm already giving you something that I'm doing in my free time for fun. Lol And stop asking me if there's a fic for comics or art that i TELL you came from me asdfasdfa I don't know where the fic is. I'd like to know too. (but also if I draw from a fic I link to the fic but I've decided to stop that for the time being. Any comics coming from me will be mine wholecloth for the foreseeable future)
26 notes
·
View notes
Hi, idk really why I want to ask you this but sometimes I just feel so insecure about the fact I’m still a virgin at 23. I haven’t even kissed someone. I’ve always been so insecure about my looks that I’ve never wanted to get intimate with someone, and i know I’m not ugly but I just feel like now the fact I have never had anything makes me feel repulsive. I’ve been on dates but I’ve just never felt that interested in them? I like my alone time too and I feel like I can’t be bothered trying to force a relationship when I want to work on myself. I’m going travelling in 6 months for a year and I doubt I’ll meet someone when I’m travelling so I’ll be 25 almost when I come back and still a virgin. Is that bad? I know I should take things at my pace but I just feel like there must be something wrong with me if I don’t really want to with anyone I’ve met who’s been into me? What should I do?
I got wordy here so a read more was necessary ↓
Hi hon. I say this anytime someone asks me about having not met some milestone yet - but you still being a virgin at 23 really doesn't define you at all and it's not weird. I bet I could post a poll right now and ask who's still a virgin past the age of 23 and you'd see a lot more virgins than not. In fact, I just had a recent anon who is also 23 and a virgin (pretty sure I posted this ask yesterday - check the #ask tag on my blog if you'd like) so you're not alone. Not even close.
Milestones, especially something like when you should lose your virginity, should all be done away with. There's no timeline for something like that. And I'm sure you've heard it before but you definitely want to enjoy your first time having sex and do it with someone you trust and not force yourself to get it over with. While I think virginity is mostly just a social construct, it can be a big deal to us as individuals.
You aren't repulsive, there's nothing wrong with you, and you get to decide when and with whom you do have sex with. No one but you. I actually think you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. You've gone on dates and have made the mature decision that you weren't that into the people you dated, you know you're someone who enjoys your alone time (me too hon), you already know better than to force a relationship (some people don't get this concept bc they're scared to be alone and by the time they realize what they've done it's too late), and you're about to go on a year-long travel which is huge and there would be so many people your age terrified to travel for a year. You're brave, adventurous, and smart.
I think you're way more amazing than you realize, just from this ask I can pick up how mature and emotionally intelligent you are. Don't compromise. You're doing absolutely amazing. And also don't discount yourself that you're not going to perhaps meet someone on your travels. Who knows what will happen? Maybe you'll still be a virgin after the year is up - but that's perfectly okay too. Be open to what could happen and keep doing what you're doing.
Also, it's going to benefit you to not talk badly about yourself. Start telling yourself how impressive and how unique you are. Do away with saying such negative things. Seriously. No more of that that! You're going to be just fine. Remember that you're still young, you're smart, and you're about to do something that most people in this world cannot say they've ever done, nor would they be brave enough to (enjoy wherever your travels take you!).
xoxo
16 notes
·
View notes
from the stuff i’ve heard marc’s former honda teammates (dani jorge and pol in their media careers but joan also i guess) say about him now that they’re racing is generally quite positive, both on a professional/riding level but also seemingly on a personal level? i’m wondering what you make of that given that, yeah, marc doesn’t seem like a very good teammate (unless you’re alex who i’ve left off this list). like MARC wants to separate on and off track stuff and it seems like all of these guys are willing too at least in retrospect, so he can’t have truly burned bridges with them. do you have any thoughts on that
(x, x) most riders are quite good at not burning bridges with each other! it's not like marc's competitors don't know that this stuff is kinda part of the game. I mean, all of marc's past teammates were also trying to assert themselves within the internal hierarchy... you can say that certain teammates engage in 'worse' behaviour than others, but, like, these people do understand they're supposed to be fighting each other! a baseline degree of nastiness is factored in and will be accepted to a greater or lesser extent by your rivals - especially when it comes to asserting yourself in intra-team power struggles. you might hate the other guy in the moment, but generally speaking once the active part of the rivalry is done with... you will probably get over it. marc's fellow riders are aware of how ultra-competitive marc is - and to a certain point they do respect it, not least because they're aware that this is part of the reason why marc has ended up with all those titles. it's like dani said, right, it's marc's strong suit. and in general, you do have to say that there's relatively few teammate pairings that devolve to the level of toxicity that it completely destroys the interpersonal relationship. you might need some level of preexisting animosity... most of the purely competitive sins can be healed with a little time
on the 'separating on-track and off-track' thing... well. this is kind of a question of how you define these things, you can say that marc generally speaking isn't going to massively hold grudges over isolated on-track incidents or whatever... but he doesn't just leave his fighting to the track, and personally I've also never felt he can entirely separate these things out in his mind. can you really say his professional and private relationships with other riders are completely detached from one another? mostly, he's opted to be pretty disengaged from his fellow riders as a collective, and obviously that's a good way to not take things too personally... it's all part of the game, isn't it? sometimes it's good to go with the straightforward approach: marc tells you he will make your life hell, he does indeed make your life hell, and then you both move on with your lives and can maybe actually have a pretty amiable relationship with him in years to come. he's not really defying your expectations at any point here, is he now? it's still a question for each of them as individuals as to whether they think that kind of behaviour is above board and acceptable or not... but everyone by now knows that marc plays these games, so it's not like they're going in blind
and it's not like other former teammates are constantly badmouthing each other. I mean... look, let's just cut to the chase here and bring in valentino as our reference point (as he is for the sport as a whole, which by the way does also help create a certain baseline of acceptability for marc's antics - maybe goated riders are just supposed to be dicks who knows). vale's premier class teammates were 1) nobody (2000-01), 2) tohru ukawa (2002), 3) nicky hayden (2003; 2011-12), 4) carlos checa (2004), 5) colin edwards (2005-2007), 6) jorge lorenzo (2008-10; 2013-16), 7) maverick vinales (2017-20), 8) franco morbidelli (2021), and 9) andrea dovizioso (2021). of these eight men (let's just exclude 'nobody' for now), do you know how many had serious complaints at any point about valentino as a teammate? that's right, it's one guy. one. some of valentino's other teammates, like hayden, checa and edwards, were even quite actively positive about their whole experience. this is the thing - you do need some specific circumstances for teammate rivalries to escalate from 'being kinda bitchy every other month' to 'actively fantasising about stabbing each other'. not accounting for natural interpersonal animosity, let's list some circumstantial factors that you need to get a bridge-burning-worthy level of feud:
you need a competitive bike. it is possible to beef about development direction when you're in the trenches (cf late 2010's yamaha, 2020's honda)... but generally speaking this is going to be quite low-level petty stuff, not actual war
you also need something that approaches competitiveness between teammates. if one teammate is unquestionably stronger than the other one, then it is very unlikely that you are going to get any open hostilities. the tension comes when the two sides are close enough to each other for the internal hierarchy to actually be a contentious issue (this is also basic self preservation... if you're the far weaker teammate then you do not want to make the situation troublesome, because then you will be the one to be fired)
following on from those first two things... well, it doesn't hurt to have a title fight in the mix. there are also other ways you can generate competitive stakes, like, for instance, if you and your teammate know that one of you will be out of a job soon. basically, it helps to have something to squabble over
it is maybe easy to forget how rare it is this century for teammates to be fighting directly for a title, let alone over the course of multiple seasons. only two 1-2's since the year 2000 and they're both for the factory yamaha's (though 2006, 2011-13 and 2017 did all prominently feature two factory hondas). which means that for valentino, the prerequisites were met just the once in his premier class career... and yes, the results were pretty memorable, but (topic! for! another! post!) it's worth pointing out that even that relationship was pretty much 'fine' whenever there was a sizeable disparity between the two of them performance-wise (2008 and 2013 are the most clear cut examples). I think the way I'd frame it with marc is that he has a bunch of mildly dubious strategies up his sleeve to assert himself within the team, which don't really deviate that far from what you'd expect from a rider of marc's calibre and only need to be escalated under specific circumstances. that doesn't mean he doesn't have the potential to be ruthless, but up until now it's mostly been a fairly 'acceptable' level of ruthlessness on the intra-team level... and not something that is likely to make other riders actually hate him
taking marc's teammates one by one... dani was the closest to meeting the bridge-burning prerequisites, though he was only a title rival in marc's rookie season. and marc did go further with him than he did with anyone else, and dani has made some pointed comments about marc's style as a teammate... but yes, he is fonder of marc these days. partly I'd just emphasise again that this is a fairly natural progression when you've stopped directly competing for long enough, and partly it's also just a question of individual personality - dani's not massively into holding grudges. then there's jorge, who... I mean, they might as well not have been teammates, given that jorge was either too slow or too injured to even be sharing any track space with marc. you have to put that one down primarily to circumstance, seeing as jorge's own track record on the teammate front isn't exactly spotless. marc and jorge beefing in 2019 would have been pretty dumb and also a massive waste of everyone's time in a year in which marc singlehandedly won the team's championship. even those two needed more to get things going
moving on to the dark years, pol and marc had an extremely stop-and-start partnership on a honda that was generally pretty uncompetitive... so the only stuff they could get ever so mildly irritable about were riveting incidents like 'marc saying pol wasn't the biggest championship threat' (neither of them were) or 'pol saying he'd copy marc's set up' (which proved entirely useless). not exactly title decider territory, is it now, and marc very much had pol covered as a challenger throughout their partnership. also, those two do have a longer history! they've known each other since they were kids and hold a pretty significant place in each other's careers. now that pol's more or less retired, it's natural there'll be quite a lot of sentimentality there - which will paper over any small cracks that appeared during those two years. and joan was a one year teammate at a time in which the bike was consistently close to offing them both. they only managed to start a sunday race together as teammates on thirteen occasions. it would take some serious effort to engineer a feud with that little opportunity, and, really, why on earth would you bother. maybe if honda had gone for rinsy rather than joan for the factory seat, it could've been a bit more prickly, but it's unlikely that it would have escalated beyond that
this is the thing, right, the only one of these partnerships that would have been worth burning bridges over was dani, and even there marc pretty much had him handled after the first season. in general, marc has been pretty clear on how he's not interested in making friends with the other side of the garage while the teammate relationship is ongoing... which is fine! there's some prominent-ish teammate pairings that are actually good friends, some teammate pairings where one of them is actively helping out and advising the other one, but some riders prefer to just keep their distance. it would have been a little silly of marc to start a feud with a teammate who is galaxies away from being a competitive threat, let alone a title rival, but generally it is possible to toe the line between 'attempting to suppress your internal rivals enough to stop them from becoming a problem for you' and 'taking radical enough action to make your internal rivals despise you'
especially in the post-dani era, marc never really had any need to push things too far... and, let's face it, how many of your teammate relationships end up with burnt bridges is also quite frankly a question of luck and circumstance. do you want to guess which top rider on paper has the worst track record this century with premier class teammate feuds, in terms of a) how many they've had, and b) how little public reconciliation there has been since the end of the rivalry?
yes, that's right, it's the first name that comes to mind when you're thinking of toxic and conflict-prone riders: andrea dovizioso. that old devil, constantly causing trouble. just couldn't stop undermining his poor, innocent teammates. can somebody please stop this ruthless bully before it's too late
I think you get the point. I would personally suggest that dovi is not in fact the worst teammate it is possible to have in a motogp top team. he just happened to find himself in a situation where he was teammates with two separate guys he did not click with at all, in situations that involved a pairing of riders who were (or had the potential to be) competitive with each other, as well as some proper stakes attached to the rivalry. in general, situational factors are going to determine this stuff more than anything else... and marc more often than not does have a reasonably good feel for picking his battles. he's flirted with the line, but he's mostly avoided crossing it. he hasn't had to
15 notes
·
View notes