#not right now anyway its almost 2am

[air--so--sweet]

3x13 Pinned//8x06 Confessions

Joy

[ha-rinrin]

Hiding From The World

Summary: After a meeting with Silco, Jinx goes missing, leaving you to go find her.

Pairing: Jinx x Fem!reader

Wordcount: 1k

Authors note: The long ass story is still not finished im so sorry guys im gonna try to publish it as soon as I can 🤞🏻. I also did this at 2am, sorry if its bad I literally fell asleep in the middle of writing it.

Masterlist

It's been hours since you last saw her. Jinx was supposed to come back to the hideout after a supposedly urgent meeting with Silco, but the minutes dragged on, turning into hours, and still no sign of her. You tried to convince yourself she was just blowing off steam somewhere, but you couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in your gut.

Without a second thought, you head to the one place she might be. It’s a little secret basement in an abandoned building tucked away in the darker parts of Zaun, somewhere she figured no one would ever think to look, when you and Jinx first stumbled on this little abandoned building while exploring Zaun’s hidden alleys. The structure was half-buried under layers of graffiti and rust, but Jinx saw it as treasure—something forgotten by everyone else but perfect for the two of you. Together, you’d set up this place over the months, stringing fairy lights from the cracked ceiling, stacking old crates to make makeshift chairs, and even securing it with a series of hidden traps to keep intruders out.

The shadows stretch longer as you approach the building, slipping past the creaky metal door and down the stairs that lead to the basement. You disable the traps one by one, the steps so familiar you could do them in your sleep. Finally, you reach the heavy door that leads into the basement, taking a breath before pushing it open.

And there she is.

Jinx is slouched on the floor, leaning against the wall with her knees drawn up to her chest. Her eyes flicker with a mix of frustration and exhaustion, and you catch the way her hands keep fidgeting, as if even while sitting still, she can't quite find peace. She looks up when you enter, and something in her expression softens ever so slightly.

"Y/N," she mutters, sounding almost relieved. "Guess I’m not as good at hiding as I thought, huh?"

You close the door behind you, crossing the dimly lit room until you’re in front of her. “Not from me, anyway.”

She scoffs, but there’s a hint of a smile tugging at her lips. You slide down to sit beside her, close enough that your shoulders are almost touching. For a moment, neither of you speak. The silence is comfortable, settling like a blanket around you both.

You glance over, studying her for a beat. “Rough day?”

She lets out a bitter laugh, rolling her eyes up to the ceiling. “Silco thinks he knows everything. Says I’m too… reckless, like he doesn’t know me by now.” Her fingers toy with a stray thread on her pants, pulling at it absently. “Sometimes I think he just doesn’t get it. Doesn’t get me.”

You nod, listening to every word. “Sometimes I don’t think he deserves to.”

Jinx looks over at you, that fire in her eyes simmering down, replaced by something softer, something almost vulnerable. She doesn’t say anything right away, but her hand inches toward yours, her fingers grazing your palm as if she’s testing the waters.

You intertwine your fingers, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “We don’t need him, you know,” you murmur. “We’ve got this place. It’s ours. Away from everyone else.”

She leans her head back, gazing around at the dim room, where the fairy lights cast soft, warm glows over the walls. It’s far from fancy, but it feels like home, like yours. The two of you worked to make it that way—a sanctuary in the chaos.

Her gaze drifts back to you, a small, genuine smile breaking through her tough exterior. “Guess that’s why I wanted to come here… I knew you’d find me.”

“Always,” you say softly, brushing a thumb over her knuckles.

For a while, you sit in comfortable silence, her head eventually finding its way to your shoulder. The weight of her against you feels reassuring, grounding, like the world outside doesn’t matter when it’s just the two of you in this little hidden corner of Zaun.

“You know,” she murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper, “this place… I’d never let anyone else in here but you.”

Your heart skips a beat, and you turn slightly, pressing a soft kiss to her hair. “Good. Because I wouldn’t want to share it with anyone else.”

She smiles again, her eyes half-closed as she leans into you. In this moment, with the flickering lights casting shadows across the room and the muffled sounds of Zaun fading in the background, you both find a rare, quiet peace.

Jinx’s head grows heavier on your shoulder, her breathing slowing, steadying. You glance down to find her eyes closed, the furrow in her brow smoothed out. It’s rare to see her like this—unguarded, peaceful, away from the chaos that usually surrounds her.

Carefully, you shift, wrapping an arm around her to support her as you slowly stand up. She stirs slightly, but doesn’t wake, her head resting comfortably against your shoulder as you carry her over to the old, beaten-up couch you both dragged in here ages ago. Easing yourself down, you settle back with Jinx still in your arms, her body now draped across yours.

She mumbles something incoherent as she nestles closer, pressing her face against your chest. One of her arms wraps around you, clutching the fabric of your shirt as if you’re an anchor keeping her steady.

You can’t help but smile, brushing a few strands of hair away from her face, tucking them behind her ear. She looks so serene, her usual smirk softened, her breathing deep and calm. Gently, you stroke her back, your fingers tracing light, soothing circles as she relaxes even further against you.

The warmth of her settles into you, a quiet comfort that makes the dim room feel like it’s lit up with something more than just fairy lights. Holding her like this, feeling her heartbeat thrum in sync with yours, it’s like all the weight of the world fades away.

As minutes slip by, you let your head rest back against the couch, one arm wrapped securely around her while your other hand continues to run softly up and down her back. You could stay like this forever, hidden away with her, in a place that’s just for the two of you.

In this little pocket of the world, it’s just you and her, and for now, that’s all you need.

[wcnderlnds]

down goes another one | peter maximoff

✧ scott wakes you up at 2am with a phone call to let you know your boyfriend peter is drunk and needs picking up ✧

・❥・warnings: some swearing, alcohol mentions.・❥・ authors note: idk i thought drunk peter would be cute

Ring. Ring. Ring.

What the hell was that incessant noise? You rolled over in bed, pulling your blanket over your head as if that was going to make it go away but it kept on sounding out through your room. With a grumble, you rolled over to your bedside table and picked up your phone. The last person you expected to be calling you at 2am in the morning was Scott Summers. The phone call lasted about a minute before you were getting out of bed with a sigh. It was too early to make any kind of effort so you pulled on your Peter’s hoodie and a pair of sweatpants, grabbed your keys and got in your car.

The drive to the bar took less than ten minutes. Stepping through the doors, the music blasted out, the chatter of drunk patrons filling your ears as you squeezed past a couple of people and spotted exactly who you were looking for.

Peter’s silver hair was hard to miss even if it was currently resting on the dirty bar in his arms. Empty shot glasses surrounded him. Oh, he was so getting made fun of tomorrow morning for this. Scott sat next to him looking guilty, apologising to you as you approached. You placed a gentle hand on Peter’s back. “Hey, handsome.”

At the sound of your voice, he lifted his head with a dopey smile on his face. His eyes were lidded and his cheeks tinted pink. “Heeeeey.”

This boy was drunk drunk.

“What’re you doing, baby?” You asked as your hand gently rubbed along his back.

Peter shook his head, waving the bartender over to give him another drink but you shook your head. Peter definitely didn’t need anything else to drink.

“Erik,” Scott mouthed. Well, that explained it all. Of course Peter had had a run in with his dad.

“Come on,” you said, pulling Peter’s arm and throwing it over your shoulder. He willingly got off the stool, walking to the exit with you. “Let’s get you home.”

“Only if you’re coming with me, pretty,” he pressed a sloppy kiss to your cheek. The second you reached your car, he shook his head. “Noooo! No! I can run faster than this stupid thing.”

To your dismay, he kicked your car. Not hard. It was a pathetic, drunken kick that would’ve made you giggle if it was anyone else’s car but yours. “Peter!” You hissed. “Stop. You can’t run right now. So, get in the car and let me take you home.”

“Fine, stupid metal box with its stupid slow wheels.” He was mumbling under his breath the whole time he tried getting in the car, stumbling and almost falling to the floor at one point.

Once inside, you fastened his seatbelt for him. “You know, next time you’re upset you can come talk to me.”

He shook his head. “No! I annoy you too much anyway. I’m enough of a burden as it is.”

“Peter,” you frowned. “If Erik has made you feel that way then he’s wrong. You’re not a burden and you don’t annoy me. I love everything about you. I love that you’re constantly speeding around the place. I love that you never shutup. I love that you’re always thinking, always able to have fun, always one step ahead of everyone else. Whatever he said to you, you need to remember he’s kind of a dick to everyone.”

His fingers were twirling a piece of your hair around his finger as he listened to you talk, mesmerised by your simple existence. “I think you’ve got a thing for me.”

“I do. Got a huge thing for you, Maximoff.”

“I have a huge thing for you, too.” He wiggled his brows at you causing you to laugh. That laugh quickly turned to a frown. “I just want him to like me.”

“I know, baby but… you can’t let him get to you like this. One day, when you finally tell him, he’s gonna regret every stupid thing he ever said to you. Until then, you got me to remind you how amazing you are.” You took his hand in yours, lacing your fingers together.

“Yeah, I got you. Remind me again how I got you because I think I’m a little drunk right now and I’m finding it hard to believe I landed a super hot babe like you.”

“I’ll tell you all about it when we get home.” Finally, with a smile on your face, you started the car and the drive back to the school.

Peter had his head leaned against the window, eyes closed like he was almost drifting off to sleep. You thought he had dozed off until he spoke with slurred words. “I lob you, too.”

tag list (ask to be added!): @juliamaximoff @lemoniiiiiii @jazz-berry @xmidnight-rain @honeymoon8

[sleepyc63]

post-midnight motivation hits different man,,, anyway anthro hunter!! the negative space in this one hurts my soul but idk what to fill it with so wtv

story + content warnings under cut!

CW ‼️ for child neglect and implied substance abuse ‼️

please don't read if these topics will trigger you!! nothing graphic is mentioned but better safe than sorry.

~~~

Hunter was born into No Significant Harassment's family, and is the younger sister to Nightwatcher. She and Watcher were the result of a young and unstable relationship, and their mother is not a part of their lives. Hunter never knew her mother, and NSH, being young and not ready to raise pups, was never around to care for her.

Hunter was left with Watcher to babysit throughout her childhood, though even Watcher stopped bothering to care for her when he got a girlfriend. This lead to Hunter turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms, which included the eventual cause of her rot.

Hunter eventually grew tired of the neglect and ran away from home, and started working in retail to support herself. While there, she met Gourmand, and the two became friends quickly. Gourmand told Hunter about her dreams of opening her own bakery, and Hunter showed interest in her ideas. With Hunter's support, Gourmand started her business, and hired Hunter to work with her.

One of Hunter's childhood friends, Survivor, contacted her about how she was attending college in the area next school year, and Hunter agreed to meet over dinner to catch up. The pair hit it off immediately, and Hunter worked up the courage to ask Survivor on a date, and Survivor accepted (let's go lesbians!!!). When the school year started, Survivor and her brother Monk moved in with Hunter, and the trio has been inseparable since.

Nightwatcher has attempted to get in contact with Hunter again, and try to set their relationship right, but Hunter is reluctant to forgive him.

~~~

aeugh here she is!! my beautiful daughter!! she has 4,403 diseases and is banned from most public spaces. i definitely left some important stuff out but thats okay. its almost 2am that's my excuse. i'll read through this tomorrow but for now i will sleep. thanks for reading if you did lol

[ioniansunsets]

✖ Heartsteel!Kayn Birthday Special ✖

✖ Heartsteel!Kayn Birthday Special ✖

✖ Word Count: 836

✖ Tags: Established R/S

✖ A/N: I think of this as a 10pm-2am party on the 30th so Kayn can quietly pretend its a party for his real 31st Birthday.

----

It was irritating, he'd have to admit. A full day of media and paparazzi chasing him. All he wanted was to by your side, to celebrate with you, to not have to phase through walls just to hide from the crowd. The crowd that was even worse than usual because it was Halloween night. He clicks his tongue as he pulls his facemask up to hide away from the crowd.

" Gods help me."

He whispers angrily under his breath. Almost like an answer to his prayers, Ezreal pops up and drags him down an alley, helping him to slip away from some fans and find his way to the club that you told him to meet you at. It was the usual spot, Heartsteel's favorite bar, the bouncers already waving to let Kayn and Ezreal in.

" Everyone's waiting LMAO! You're so late." " You're late too loser. The fuck you on about!"

Ezreal laughs as he flings the doors open. You, with the help of some others in Heartsteel booked out the entire club for Kayn this night. A hustle and bustle as K/DA and some other friends of Kayn's hang out, laughing and drinking. Cheers from everyone as he walks in, everyone wishing Happy Birthday on what he personally thinks is the wrong day. But attention is attention and he can't say no to a little fun at night. Everyone in little Halloween costumes, high fives, loud laughs, awkward hugs he talks to everyone, socializing and thanking them for the wishes. Yone graciously DJ-ing for the party, Akali pointing him a middle finger as they make eye contact but showing up to the party anyway, Sett and Aphelios trying a hand behind the bar to make drinks for the party. K'Sante sitting by a table talking to Alune and the rest of K/DA. But still, something was wrong, he sees all his friends but where the hell were you? The you who was arguably the most important person to him. The you who were the one who invited him here anyway.

" Happy Birthday Kayn!"

At the sound of your voice he perks up, immediately putting his drink down to turn and find you. As he spots you a little away he basically runs over to throw his arms around you, lifting you up and giving you a little spin as you hug him back.

" My favorite person! Where the hell were you! I'm only here because you told me to come by the way."

He sticks out his tongue in mock irritation, arms still around you the whole time. All the attention and well wishes from everyone could never compare to your love. Ah how he loved your smell, your cute laugh, your stupid teasing smug face as it stared at him. He leans down giving you a quick kiss before letting go. Resting his arms across his chest waiting for a good explanation from you.

" Took a while because I had to get this finished for you."

You defend yourself, you hold up a present for him. It was small, suspiciously small for a gift for someone as amazing as him, but it was from you so like hell he won't complain. Picking up the box for your hands he holds it up, shaking it a little, no noise. Curious now he opens it, face immediately lighting up. He puts the wrapping down behind him as he holds up the gift.

" Oh fuck is this...?"

You nod as he examines it, a custom guitar strap. Designed like his recently solidified aesthetic from the Paranoia MV, bright colors, a yellow base, pink, purple and green accents with an imitation of his signature down the strap. Little handmade patches of him and Rhaast on the corner, hearts the colors of all the boys around the middle, and finally your initials sneakily sewn in the underside next to Kayn's right where the strap would meet the guitar, there, yet hidden from view so he could still use this on stage. A beautifully thought out way to have something of you near him all the time, even when he was on tour, on stage or in his studio. How personal... Kayn laughs, a hand returning to pull you into him, he leans down close to your ears as he growls out softly,

" Damn babe...you're going to make me emotional."

A blush rising up your face, Kayn turns to give your cheek a quick kiss. A hand sneakily rising up to wipe something away under his eyepatch. You take note to tease him about it later.

" All custom made and details hand sewn by the way, I got K'sante and Sett to help me."

" Thank you. Amazing gifts from you as always."

After a quick kiss on your forehead, he pulls away from the hug, hand wrapping around yours as he drags you to the bar, the brightest smile on his face as he gives Aphelios a nod to make drinks for you two.

" Now let's properly celebrate together."

[wintersera]

Can you do a Kazuha x fem reader where they are roommates smut?

roommate kazuha x f!reader

cw: dacryphilia, hehe teasy reader, both are receiving and giving, praise :)

YEAAAHH FIRST ANON REQUEST MWAH MWAH ILY also yeah you can never go wrong with roommate typa situations they’re jst so perfect for sexual tension unhgjgnfnf <333

zuha is kinda awkward :(( she usually keeps to herself when you’re in the dorm, often spending her free time in your bedrooms. studying for an exam and your fine ass roommate kazuha and her abs enter your dorm after spending hours in the gym lord have MERTHY. her awkwardly blushing at your EXTREMELY OBVIOUS GAWKING making ber way to her room 😭.

albeit a little embarrassed about it, she sometimes flaunts her muscles when she does chores just so you can gawk at her which obviously sends your mind into complete and utter mush. it turns her on so keep staring at her pls :))

anyways… back on our regular schedule

you’ve just finished up studying in the cafe. coming home earlier than usual, forgetting to text your roommate even though its like 2am in the morning, you open the door as gently as you can, hoping and praying you won’t wake her up. the dorm is dead silent as you walk in; it seems almost peaceful. all of a sudden you hear quiet moans and whimpers in the direction of your roommates room. knowing that she's most likely masturbating alone, you grin at the thought of catching her in the act. you stand there in her doorway watching her attentively. you take notice of her hand. in one is the hoodie you always wore around the dorm. her other hand is… in between her legs roughly rubbing her clit at the same time moaning your name, vulgarly groaning and shaking at every brush she gives her puffy clit. observing from a distance you take a look at her face, looking so fucked out of her mind, mouth ajar, completely different from the shy and awkward kazuha you know. the sight of her exposed self right in front of you… god you’re so unbelievably turned on right now. feeling the arousal pool between your thighs you cough.

“kazuha?”

almost immediately she looks up, taking her fingers away from her pussy, swearing that she got whiplash from the way her neck snapped to look into your eyes. quickly covering herself with her blanket you laugh to yourself at the way she hides underneath the thick cloth.

“i- i- um, this isn’t- i swear… i’m sorry” stammering out her acceptance in defeat.

“what do we have here, huh?” making your way to her you grab the blanket exposing her naked lower half. staring at her vulnerable figure licking your lips “how about i help you myself, doesn’t that sound better” she nods in agreement.

sitting down, facing her on the bed, inching your face closer and closer, you take a good look at her. her eyes sparkling in anticipation. you inhale the air, sweet. you think to yourself. sweat mixed in with the scent of sex making you feel hazy. taking a few moments to drink in the view in front of you before you place your hand on the back of her neck, pulling her into your lips. entangled in passion, your kiss turned into a heavy make out, hands roaming each others bodies like you haven’t touched a person before. greedy for more, you slip your hands underneath her sweater hastily unhooking her bra with ease, lifting it up exposing her perky breasts. you softly push her into her bed, hovering over her, placing your knee between her thighs, applying a small amount of pressure just enough to make her whine so cutely.

“i wanna make you feel good” you say breaking the intense kiss, lightly running your hand up and down the sides of her body. “so pretty for me” you mutter, “have you been thinking about me when you touch yourself?” you ask her, marking up her neck all the way down to her collarbone, her sighing at the feeling of your lips on her skin, moving her hips slowly grinding herself on you.

“mhm, oh god…” you tease her nipples with your mouth flicking, sucking, licking and biting her softly. pushing her chest closer to your mouth she lets out another sigh. “i-i’ve been thinking about you doing this to me” she admits, blushing at her own honesty. “ever since you’ve been staring at me in the dorm…” so honest and so cute you decide to give her a reward. it’s what she deserves for being truthful to you.

“open your mouth for me zuha” she complies, letting you slide two of your fingers into her mouth. “mmm fuck” you moan out loud. feeling the warmth of her tongue wrap around your fingers and the lewd sounds of her desperate sucking sends shivers down your spine. you take your fingers out her mouth, the loss of your them in her making her whine. “i’ll make you feel so good” you lean back, using one hand you hold her thighs keeping her steady and her legs open. teasingly touching her, gliding your fingers around her clit kissing her thighs every so often. she wraps her arms around your neck bringing you closer to each other.

she sits up, whispering in your ear “wait y/n, i wanna make you feel good as well” she pleads, tugging at he waistband and of your pants. you’re taken aback at her sudden request.

“i’ve never seen you this bold before” managing to not stutter, her request making you even more turned on then before. “i- thats- okay then…” taking off your pants and your soaked panties. cold air suddenly hitting you making you shake a little immediately replaced with her hand feeling around your pussy.

“…you’re so wet y/n” whispering to you whilst she helps you take off your oversized shirt.

“mmmmm ah- yeah fuck… of course i am when you look this cute in front of me” coming back face to face with her you brush your lips against hers, feeling her hot breath tickling you. kissing her lips softly eventually turning into sloppy messy kissing. open mouthed kisses letting out lewd noises of both of you panting and moaning eachothers names. her fingers making their way towards your clit rubbing slowly. biting her lip as you break away from the kiss you begin cursing and praising her for making you feel so good taking note of the excitement and lust in the way she rubs you harder. quickening her pace, making you grit your teeth “kazuhaa- ah fuck, you’re making me feel so good baby”. she whines at you calling her baby. not forgetting her you push two digits slide into her cunt, watching her as she writhes around in ecstasy. arching her back, letting out a long and dragged out moans telling you how good it feels. feeling the insides of her cunt, moving your fingers against her walls. pumping your fingers in and out of her dripping pussy using your thumb to give her hard clit some attention.

“i think… i’m close” she moans out, as she feels your fingers filling her up. “i-i’m gonna cum soon y/n… oh my god” saying this while she continues assaulting your clit at a steady pace.

“zuha… i’m gonna cum soon too” staring at the way her chest moves up and down whilst you finger her swearing that you’re going insane from how pretty she looks under you, a thin layer of sweat making her hair stick to her face. you’ve never seen someone look this damn good whilst being fucked out of their mind. leaning in closer to her chest feeling her hard nipples graze across your own, allowing you to fuck her deeper and harder “does it feel good?” zuha baby, do my fingers make you feel good?” she nods, unable to answer, feeling herself reach closer and closer towards her orgasm. she calls out to you, murmuring your name sweetly, eyes locked onto you as her jaw falls open.

“y/n… fuck i’m gonna c-“ throwing her head back, arching her back as strings of your name followed by curses leave her mouth. toppling you over the edge with her out of character cursing and the feeling of her clenching around your fingers tightens the knot in your stomach, nearing your orgasm after kazuha you grab her arm begging her not to stop.

“gonna… zuha- im gonna cum, don’t stop. please don’t stop. you’re so good ah- don’t stop” tears forming in your eyes, shamelessly rocking your hips into her hands gaining more friction on your clit. overwhelmed from the intensity the pleasure overrides you rendering yourself speechless.

falling on top of her exhausted from your orgasm you bury your head into the crook of her neck kissing her neck as she helps you ride out your high, slowly rubbing circles on your clit once again.

coming back to your senses you look at her figure once again. “you’re so- kazuha you’re so good at this”

she turns to your direction and softly smiles, eyes heavy from all that work she did on you. you coo at her placing both your hands on her cheeks kissing her forehead. “zuha, we need to do this again that was too good”

[ellabehavior]

You’re on your own kid ~ Rafe Cameron ☼

Summary: Rafe and you have been best friends since you were young. However, now that he got his new girlfriend you suddenly realized that you could possibly like him more than simply as a friend.

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader

Warnings: anxiety, mentions of drinking

A/N: Its been a while yall, but i’m back!! I hope y’all enjoy :)! ( i hateee this but i hope y’all love)

angst to soft!

-

Summer went away,

You’ve been best friends with Rafe since as long as you can remember, but last summer was the summer where everything changed.

The summer before your first year of college.

School was back up and you were also starting to look at Rafe with a different eye. He was taller, tanner, smarter, he’s growing up.

Still the yearning stays.

Everytime you’d pass Rafe in the hallway hed give you a short smile but never really acknowledge you.

You missed last summer when you guys would hang out everyday, tell eachothers every little secret, and have the best deep conversations at 2am.

You knew at this moment that things might never be the same again.

I play it cool with the best of them.

For the first time in months Rafe contacted you, he invited you to go to a party with a lot of people from your school.

When you arrived, that’s when you seen him with her.

He had his arm around her neck and her long blonde hair rested on his lower arm.

I wait patiently, he’s gonna notice me.

“It’s ok, It’s ok” You whisper quietly while gaining the courage to go up and talk to Rafe.

As you walk up to him he gives you a half-hug due to the blonde on his right.

“Hey Y/N i haven’t seen you in a while.” He grins.

“Yeahhh, I guess i’ve been busy yknow with all the test and s-” Immediately you get cut off by a high pitched voice.

“Rafeyyy cmon let’s go play some games this is boring.” She says with a pout.

“Mkay babe. Bye Y/n” The boy said walking away without a glance at you.

It’s ok we’re the best of friends, anyways…

About a week after the party Rafe finally calls to check up on you.

“Hey y/n.” He drowsily says .

“Rafe? It’s 1:00am what are you calling me for?” You voice concerningly

“I just miss my bestie that’s all” He laughs.

I hear it in your voice,

You're smoking with your boys.

I touch my phone as if it's your face.

“Rafe are you high right now?” You almost shout.

“Yes, Maybe, No.” He giggles.

“Rafe do you need me to come get you?”

You rush to grab your keys and your wallet to go pick Rafe up.

“No i’m here with my girlfriend.” He says.

You stop in your tracks, immediately getting a sick feeling in your stomach as soon as those words come out from his mouth.

“Oh Okay, we’ll I’ll talk to you some other time okay?” You suggest.

And with that he hangs up the phone without a goodbye.

I didn't choose this town,

I dream of getting out.

There's just one who could make me stay,

All my days.

As a kid you and Rafe would always talk about how when you guys were 25 you’d move to London together, and to this day that’s still your biggest dream.

You hate this place, it’s full of people who will be rude to you just based off of how you grew up.

Surprisingly Rafe is now dating one of those girls, Lily.

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes

I waited ages to see you there

I search the party of better bodies

Just to learn that you never cared

You promised yourself after last time you would never go to another college party, but here you find yourself at one that Rafe invited you to.

You would be lying if you said you’re here because you wanted to party, you’re waiting to see him.

You see Lily off in the crowd dancing, She’s perfect. You understand why Rafe would pick her. Her hair flows perfectly in the wind, her makeup is never less than flawless, and even though you want to tell yourself that she’s ugly, she’s one of the prettiest girls you’ve ever seen.

As you study Lily you see Rafe come up from behind her and hug her.

You're on your own, kid

You always have been

The whole night Rafe didn’t even bat a single eye at you, so you left.

I see the great escape

So long, Daisy May

I picked the petals, he loves me not

Something different bloomed

Writing in my room

I play my songs in the parking lot

I'll run away

You tried to distance yourself ever since the party, finally realizing this crush is starting to form into something you don’t need right now.

It’s been exactly 2 weeks since you’ve gone no contact with Rafe and if there were 20 stages of grief, you’ve been through 30.

All you want to do is call him, text him, or tell yourself that maybe he’s just using Lily as a distraction because he really likes you.

“Why is it never me.”

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes

I called a taxi to take me there

I search the party of better bodies

Just to learn that my dreams aren't rare

It’s a cycle.

Another party, Another slap in the face.

You can see the other girls also looking at Lily wishing they could be with Rafe.

The realization kills you to know that it’ll probably never be you in that spot with all these options he has.

You're on your own, kid,

You always have been.

It’s a drunken night, and you’ll definitely regret this.

“Rafeyyy babyyy” you slur.

“Y/N? Why are you calling me in the middle of the night?” You can tell he is worried in his tone.

“I don’t like her. She’s rude, you deserve better.”

There is a long pause and then you hear someone speak, “He’s never liked you babe. You’re nothing compared to me, and you know that.”

The phone hung up.

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes

I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this

I hosted parties and starved my body

Like I'd be saved by a perfect kiss

It’s been hard to do anything since the altercation.

Eating, Getting up, Going to class, Socializing, and pretty much everything feels like a chore.

You’ve tried so hard to get his attention yet he never seemed to care.

And of course as a mean girl, Lily decided to tell everyone about what you said to Rafe. Of course he apologized for what she said, and for what happened but that didn’t stop the whole school for coming at you for a whole week.

The jokes weren't funny, I took the money

My friends from home don't know what to say

I looked around in a blood-soaked gown

And I saw something they can't take away

You received a text message late at night, usual for Rafe.

Rafe: Hey, i’m so sorry for what Lily caused. You’re my best friend and I realized nothing is worth loosing that, me and her are over now after a long talk.. Can we please hang out? I miss you.

Fuck. This is what you’ve been longing for all these months and it finally is here.

You: Yeah sure, Sleepover? my place tmmrw? ;)

Rafe: Ofc. I miss you. Cya.

Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned

Everything you lose is a step you take

So make the friendship bracelets

Take the moment and taste it

You've got no reason to be afraid

The anxiety levels are high waiting for Rafe to come over, it’s been so long since you’ve had a real conversation through all this time of him being with Lily.

You start to wonder if he still likes Starwars, or if his favorite dancing song is 22 by Taylor Swift.

You then hear a knock on the door.

You're on your own, kid

“Hey!! Can I come in” he says.

“Of course.”

Then the catching up, the apology’s, and the stories start up.

It’s just like last summer.

Yeah, you can face this

While Rafe is telling one of his stories, you start to feel a pit of anxiety in your stomach because you know what you have to do.

You’ve gotten ready for this moment, practiced it in the mirror about 50 times to make sure your facial expressions, or your tone doesn’t sound too weird.

You're on your own, kid

“Rafe.” You stop him mid conversation.

“Yes?” he says with a quirk of his eyebrows.

“All these months i’ve been so distant but really all I wanted was to be near you, since last summer you’ve been the only thing on my mind and maybe you don’t feel the same way but-“

He cuts you off with a kiss to your lips.

“I’ve been waiting since the 8th grade for you to say that” He says as he pulls away.

“So all that practicing in the mirror was for nothing?” you giggle.

“Guess so.”

You always have been

[bug-bites]

whatcha lookin at buddy? :3

tw: none!! just some silly fluffy romantic hcs, also not edited bc im just an eepy lil guy

pairing: rodolfo "rudy" parra x gn!reader

summary: uhhh your boyfriend shares his silly little late night habit with you or something

characters: rodolfo "rudy" parra

notes: i never know what to title these things also i know the formatting is ugly!! i wrote this in my notes app and was too lazy to make it look decent,, <(＿　＿)>

rudy never was one to sleep early, in all honesty he seemed to do the complete opposite. he would always go to bed hours later after you. you never understood why.

it wasn't anything that made you suspicious, he wouldnt go far, most of the time he would still be at home, just outside. it was just odd, but it didnt seem like anything bad?

one night you woke up and there was an unfamiliar emptiness beside you, rudy wasnt there next to you like he was right before you fell asleep

its the middle of the night what else would this guy be doing at 2am??

so you're panicking a bit, you wake up and your boyfriend isnt next to you. sure maybe hes just pissing but you're tired and logic isnt the first thing that comes to mind

you call out for him, your throat a bit dry after you've just woken up and it comes out a bit more panicked than you intended

you sit up, eyes scanning the room looking for him- any sign of him

a sigh of relief leaves your lips, he's there. he's in your bedroom, back turned to you as he gazes upwards, out the window.

as soon as he hears his name his head whips around, why are you panicking?? whats going on?? did something happen? did you have a nightmare? most importantly, are you okay?

but he hears your sigh and you mumble something under your breath. he closes the curtains and walks towards you, gently cupping your cheek

"qué pasa?" "sorry i just- you weren't next to me and i just panicked" "nothing to be sorry for."

his voice is soft, barely above a whisper. he runs his thumb along your cheekbone, holding your cheek so tenderly it feels like you're about to melt

"it's okay. im right here."

"what were you doing?" you ask him, its about damn time he tells you anyways and you're getting curious about his strange nighttime habit "you'll find out tomorrow. its better if its a surprise." he kisses your forehead and climbs back into bed with you. "what if i dont want it to be a surprise?" "well thats not up to you. now go to sleep, cariño"

one his arms snake around your waist, the other making its way under your head, like a pillow but better

the next night, as soon as it gets dark he finally lets you in on his not so secret secret.

he grabs your hand, your fingers intertwining with his and leads you outside to a picnic blanket

"its a bit late for a picnic." you say with a yawn

he rolls his eyes as he walks over to the blanket, lying down flat on his back. you do the same, curious to what his next move was.

"stop looking at me and look up" he says with a chuckle

you listen to him and look up, hundreds of stars scattered in the distant sky. its calm, the sounds of the crickets chirping, his hand in yours, your back flat against the picnic blanket, its so serene you almost forget to breathe

"i used to do this all the time when i was younger." rudy says, breaking the silence "i would set up a mat outside and me and alejandro would lie there for hours until my mamá would yell at us to come back inside"

you look over at him, just for a second and catch him smiling as he reminisces

"i like to look at the stars when i get overwhelmed. reminds me i how small i am in the universe" "thats a bit melancholic, dont you think? the idea that we're so much smaller than the universe. like we dont matter as much as we think" you say, "i dont think of it like that. its like the world is bigger than my problems, it continues and theres so much more than just my troubles." he replies, eyes fixated on the stars "well when you put it that way, it sounds pretty nice"

the next few minutes are spent with rudy teaching you some basic constellations like the big and small dipper and then moves onto the more complex ones like ursa minor, andromeda and orion.

each constellation he points out comes with a story, as great as they look you cant help but watch him as he tells you all about them. its something he loves so deeply, you can tell from the way the corners of his mouth turn upwards as he describes them to you, the look of amazement in his eyes even though he's seen the stars hundreds of times. you cant help but fall more for him with every word he says

"i wish we met earlier. before when i was younger you could see so much more than just ...this. i wish i could've shown it to you" his tone becomes slightly bittersweet.

you don't exactly know what to say, you just wrap an arm around his torso, you mutter a soft "i know" right before you press a kiss to his cheek

the next time you two go stargazing its when you go camping together, although sure its not just in your backyard its as close as you can get with just enough clarity in the sky to see everything rudy wanted to show you :]

taglist: @pygm4li0n

[vajrapoet]

so hear me out right (and this is by no means a smart blog post thing, im just rambling at 2am)

a lot of combat heavy ttrpgs (D&D4e, PF2e, ICON, Lancer, Panic! At The Dojo) rely a lot on keywording and mechanical definitions to create this interlocking (and hopefully well-oiled) combat engine that rewards good tactical choices and forward thinking. 4e needs you to know that Ranged Attacks Provoke Opportunity Attacks, and so you need to move away first to avoid that (often by spending their Move action to Shift). this goes for other games as well. ICON needs you to know that if an Ability does not have the "Attack" tag then its explicitly not an attack, even if it deals damage. This is important because some classes and abilities benefit from not attacking, such as the Demon Slayer

the far end of this is PF2e, where almost everything is Keyworded. Classes, Races, even Feats have keywords, and some keywords have Keywords in them. this is not bad design in my opinion: mastery of this keywording can create for some really cool effects (and you can feasibly design something very BotW which also depends on a lot of interactions between elements).

now consider that so much of tactics trpgs (that is, Traditional/Tabletop Role-Playing Games) rely on so much of that interaction to create fulfilling scenarios. most of the time this is because tactics rpgs also depend on build-crafting. there are a lot of tactics trpgs that don't really care about build crafting or has less of a focus on it to focus instead on the grid combat: games like Rune, Valiant Quest, maybe even Blood Neon, so im explicitly talking about the variety of tactics trpgs that are build-centered: basically anything that comes from the vein of Fourth Edition Dungeons and Dragons

one of my favorite parts about TTRPGs is that you can play them based off of the fiction. writing Gubat Banwa, I understand that sometimes you have to create that fiction, especially if its not one thats well-represented. the created fiction or genre is the blueprint from which the play-fiction arises during the game: that's the fire-like collective imagination that arises from play.

There's a design and play philosophy (common among OSR, PbtA, and FitD) known as Fiction-First. This means that you follow what happens in the fiction first before the mechanics or anything else. Not to preserve the integrity of a "narrative" but rather, to preserve the integrity of the fiction.

What would a Fiction-First Tactics TRPG look like? This is something I tried to set out to do with Gubat Banwa. I haven't really succeeded, as of 1e.3.

so i've been thinking lately. What if a game was Fiction-First? It would work similarly to the Keywording of PF2e, but more open-ended in its interpretation.

Look at the Panabas from PF2e (a weapon present in SEAsia! From the Malay Archipelago all the way to the Philippine Archipelago). It has the Forceful (your second attack on your turn gains +X (X = damage dice, third up gets +2X.), Sweep (+1 to attack if youve alr targeted a separate character), and Two-Hand d10 (roll a d10 when you wield with both hands) tags.

I'm not going to be translating these one for one, but let's use the fiction-first style of writing and mechanics i'm concocting:

Panabas. A heavy blade. Using this, you strike with Bravery. The forward-curving blade can chop through tree, bone, and bramble.

Heavy Blade is a weapon type, so this is classic keywording. The text afterwards is also keywording: striking with Bravery means you roll your Bravery stat when making attacks with it. All well and good: there's always going to be some classical keywording in there as necessity (its this entanglement of mechanic and fiction that's made me love PbtA anyway).

The later text is more important, because say then I made an enemy like:

Walking Tree. A tree that uproots itself, and whistles to kill victims. Made of wood, so they lose 1 Stamina when they suffer chopping attacks. If they're struck by flame, they start burning. [Insert other combat-important stats here].

Now the fact that the panabas can chop through trees interacts with the description of the walking tree being vulnerable to chopping attacks.

Now these really aren't too different from the concept of keywording (really they're in the same concept park), the different thing is two things:

You can now apply that chopping quality to anything in the fiction. Find some brambles on your way, maybe even brambles as hindering terrain? Then spend a Beat to attack it to remove it! That's fiction first after all

It's easier to understand just at first glance with just natural language.

The important part here is natural language. In Play, a lot of the time, my players love picking up on little things about lore-bites of the items and techniques they have and seeing how that can apply to the fiction. So this is more of that: weapons, items, techniques, armor all become things that establish fiction. When two fictions interact, a new fiction arises!

Burning: A status effect. While you're burning, lose 1 Stamina when you start your Break. You lose burning when you're doused by water or you take time to remove it. Improvise: (A basic action). Do anything that does not inherently harm, as long as it makes sense in the fiction, and doesn't take more than 4 seconds to do (Beats take up 4 seconds). You can use this to stop drop and roll to get rid of Burning. Deep Water. -1 Elevation. Water reaches up to your shoulders. Moving into deep water costs +1 Speed.

Of course there's still going to be mechanical descriptions there, we're not going for FKR full just fiction thing. We're just blending fiction into the game part. Even PbtA still has stats and rolling and mechanics to further support their fiction.

I wanted to write this so that techniques and other widgets can be written with fictional wording in mind, and that wording would affect how its used in tactical grid combat. A technique that says: "You are surrounded by a barrier of tornado-force winds. Any attack from outside your adjacency is swept away, unless it cannot be buffeted by winds." Becomes a mechanical thing: perhaps a spell of concentrated curses pierces through this, but not arrows or weak fireballs?

The Arbiter

The last piece of the puzzle will almost always be: who arbitrates the fiction? There almost always needs to be a final word. For GuBa, this is the Umalagad, not so impartial arbiter. For Solo Play, this is still the Umalagad, but as the oracle: they ask a question, ie, "Would this area of effect attack be buffeted by the wind barrier if the origin point starts from outside?" and they would roll a d10. On a 6+, the answer is no, the target would not be buffeted because the flames overwhelm. On a 5-, the answer would be yes, it is buffeted because the target is not the brunt of the attack. And the final answer becomes the ruling for the rest of that scene.

Last last thing is this particular rule that sets things down that I might put into Gubat Banwa:

The Law of Phenomenon Pay close attention to the words that you have. These words will decide whether your blade can chop down a tree, or your abaka weave blunts edged strikes, but susceptible to piercing spears. These words will decide whether your dazzling spell can daze opponents, or if the opponent you fight ignores it due to them not depending on their senses to fight. The words establish the fiction. The fiction is the world in which your characters live: follow it always.

[cirqosmos]

IN THE GYM, INSIDE YOU | KEI &TEAM (TEASER)

WARNING ↪ gym sex (at hybe gym lmfao), dom!kei, sub!reader, established relationship, pet names, u calling kei as daddy, dry humping, choking, oral sex (f and m receiving), breeding kink, size training/kink, saliva play, profanity. and more u see.. 🙈

WORD COUNT ↪1.6K (the full fic are estimated to be over 10-12k lmfao PLS)

AUTHOR'S NOTE ↪ not proofread, so some minor errors and grammatical errors.. i'm just trying to get back to my momentum of posting on Tumblr again. BUT IM CRINGING ALOT HELP I CANT STOP GAGGING LMFAO-

The cool breeze of the night sky as you passed through the convenience store shot a severe chill down your spine, despite having a thick hoodie over your pyjamas. Now that you think of it, it is a bad move. Brushing the tip of your thumb across the shelf as you picked one of Kei's favourite ready-made coffee drinks, you recalled the way he called you an hour ago.

His voice dripped in a heavy tone of honey, almost like a melodic hymn of desperation as he enunciate every syllable of your name. As if he was begging for you to come as fast as you can, and when you expressed your initial concern over his odd request, he brushes it off as being exhausted by his current workout routine.

A night workout routine, he repeated.

After exiting out of the automatic door screen, your peripheral vision caught on the remnants of illusionary dusts in the form of a human, and the stray cats scattering beside the over filled trash can, and the serene moonlit sky brought about a good amount of anxiety in you. It is after all, the after dark. Where the world switches off to an underworld vibe, pulling of its black velvet cloaks with indifference that it had hidden beneath the entire sunlit day.

Screw you, Kei.

After dark was when people ripped apart their moral ethics, goodie traits, and humane characteristics—revealing their innate desires they had been keeping to their core.

"Kei?"

Not an answer did you receive as you pushed open the black velvet door, only the cool breeze of the AC and it's audible sound surrounding the gym greeted your ears. You assumed that Kei must have left.

"Hey."

Your head turned to the owner of the voice you knew so well, a lazy smile pulled up on your cheeks as you met those dark grey orbs laced with affectionate words all over it.

"Hey, Kei." Giving the ice cold can coffee to him as you approached him, "Quite cruel of you to call me at 2am, seriously."

With no hesitation, he pulled you into his embrace, leaning in closer as he buried his face in your neck, sniffing in your scent which immediately engulfed his exhausted soul in a safe amount of euphoria and craze. "I miss you, though. Don't I have the right to call my girlfriend anymore?"

"At least look at the time." You pouted as you pulled away, squinting your eyes in a playful manner. "Everyone's sleeping right now, and you're the only one pulling up a goddamn Greek god workout routine."

An audible giggle squeezed its way out of Kei's mouth, his doe eyes crinkling into crescents. "Greek god, eh? I'm a Greek god to you then?" His finger dusted off the rosy hues on the tip of your nose, cooing at your childlikeness.

"Well, maybe." You shrugged, sitting yourself leisurely on one of the gym's chairs, swaying your feet up and down. It didn't go past your eyes how Kei leaned against the pull-up machine, a loud pop emitting from his thumbs in the process of opening the can, his plump lips lapping against the edge as he slurped it down his throat—where his Adam's apples protrude in a sensual motion, one that sent havoc into your mind.

Breaking your fixated gaze onto somewhere else, you cleared your throat in attempts to take off your not so holy thoughts in a brief moment. Mentally slapping yourself on the inside, but oh well, scoring a boyfriend like Kei ain't a damn joke.

"How was work?" His melodic voice flows into your ears again.

"Tiring, but it's okay. It's my job anyway, got to have enough fat money to buy what I want. Heh." Dusting off the tips of your two fingers, mimicking the action of counting money before the boy causes his gorgeous lip to let out another audible giggle.

"I love how you're independent, it's damn cool to even think of it.. but you see, why don't you depend on me?"

"Hm?"

"Depend on me." Kei repeated with doe eyes wholly fixated on your form, "It's just a suggestion, but I would really adore having to take care of you all by my own, every little thing."

Well chosen string of words got your already tangled heart in an even tighter knot, "I could take care of myself, though. I don't need a sugar daddy yet." You stuck your tongue out in a mischievous manner, that alone had him shaking his head with a round of giggles. "But that's sweet of you, Kei."

"No, but." Pair of sneakers approach you with every low rise and down of steps, his palms having the remnants of water beads as he puts down the ice can on the machine's flat edge.

Halting his step before you with his towering height, the light above the ceiling illuminated the top of his ash strands all while casting a matte shadow on his features—giving him a somewhat eerie look, yet his orbs held so much more in it that it had you unconsciously gripping your finger on the edge.

His long finger and thumb brushes your cheek in a circular pattern, and then down to your neck. "I want to take care of you. I've been thinking since much, much long time ago. I want to look after you, care for you in every way possible. It just hurts to see you punching yourself in the chest whenever your shitty boss ruined your day."

Touched by his words, "Work days are pretty much like that, Kei. Having a shitty boss is an unfortunate bonus, that is."

Your sentences comes to a halt as you notice the way his orbs lingered on your lips, the sensation of his index finger ghostly rubbed your lower lip had your heart skipping a thump, yet you hold on to your firm character—arching the corner of your lip in a mischievous smirk. "Does my lips look that pretty for you, Mr. Kei?"

"Mr. Kei?" His plump lips pursed in a giggle, "I'd like your lips on mine, if that's okay for you, Mrs. Koga."

Enthusiasm filled your chest, and you were sure he did as well the way he confirmed your given permission through your lit up blaze eyes. His index finger on your lips found its way on the back of your neck, splayed tight. His other hand spreaded against your hips, pulling you closer to his body as he sealed your lips in his wet cavern.

Kissing Kei always felt like the first time for you. It didn't go past your notice how his warm cheeks pulled up even higher as you let him in through your tongue, tasting each other to the point of maniacal craze. Your eyelashes fluttered up to reveal your curious orbs, taking a brief glance at the wall clock behind Kei's obscured ruffled ash hair.

1:07 A.M. — The after dark where suppressed desires begin to reveal themselves, manifesting into low seductive whispers and sneaky touches.

"Scrap the sugar part," Kei's breath ghost against your ear, sending a round of butterflies in your stomach. Your eyes lingered on his swollen red lips enunciating each word in a clear hushed tone, yet sensual rhythm. "Your daddy can take care of you right here, right now."

"Now where do you want daddy to touch you?" Kei lapped his wet cavern across your neck, a slight moan left your lips at the bold gesture.

"Please."

"Please what, babygirl? You have to tell daddy where exactly he should touch you."

"I-inside me, daddy." Lust fogged your mind, yet the sight of the gym machines pushed the logical part in the surface, physically manifesting to your hands stopping Kei's ones. "We aren't going to do it here, r-right?"

You enunciate the question in confirmation, you need him inside you right now but you dead ass wouldn't want to get caught in the act and possibly ruin his career. But the way Kei's lust filled orbs lazily darted to look at behind him, it seems like he had no intention of bringing your intimacy behind an appropriate place.

"Where's the thrill then, baby?" Kei whispered, "Look it's 1am right now, I doubt someone's going to come in. But well, it would be good either way cuz' someone can see how I'll take you all to myself."

That was enough to rule your mind into overdrive, giving in to Kei and embarking in this bold dangerous act. The thrill, the suspense of getting caught, his large hands spreading all over your skin, his lips nipping onto your bare skin; everything fuels into your brazen mode.

This wild desires of exhibitionism; his greatest will to flaunt you and show to everyone that you belong to him. Kei had always been a dominant man, oozing uncontrollably from his aura ever since you first laid your eyes on him, there was no doubt. Your suspicions were further confirmed by his utmost dedication in perfecting his craft or whatever it is he deemed to be of great importance.

And one of them was romance, which immediately rooted back to you. The apple in his eyes, which he oh so desire to devour more than it takes and how he greatly detests anyone who dared to lay their hands on you.

He turns you around, your back hitting his chest and before your mind could process anything—wet slick tongue lapped across your neck down to your exposed shoulder, his fingers pulling the material each centimetre. Yet you couldn't focus on anything but on his tongue doing it's magical wonders on your skin, sending electrifying sensation into your veins and cells.

"K-kei—" his other hand flattened deep inside your shirt, stroking circular patterns on your tummy and into your navel.

"Shh, lemme take care of you." He whispered, and you didn't fail to sense his growing smirk. "Now where do we begin?"

「 © talesofyuan on tumblr 2023 」 all rights reserved. do not copy or post without permission.

[cuttlefishen]

I don't post much on tumblr anymore but it's 2am and I'm finally in a safe space with power and water and internet and I feel fucking AWFUL about it. So I'm gonna yell into this void.

I don't quite understand why I feel like such a fucker. It's a little bit of guilt and a little bit of nothing feeling real. Probably a bit of hopelessness and fear too even if I'm out. My home wasn't even hit bad. My stuff is safe (besides the fridge full of food I had to toss). My friends are alive (if fucked out of water for potentially weeks and power for at least days). But the other side of town is fucked. The surrounding communities are fucked. And who knows how desperately long it's going to take to rebuild or even clear out the damage.

I just feel bad. Like I should be in there suffering still too because I abandoned my neighbors and friends and that's stupid. That's a stupid thought. If I can get out and not burden the system more? That's good. My neighborhood is rallying to help the people who can't even get across town. I gave away the water i stood in line 4 hours for. I gave away almost all of my dry goods. I gave my friends money for whenever they can get out too.

But here i am feeling guilty about being able to play fucking fallout finally. Feeling guilty about how one of my bigger concerns right now is how im going to finish my student teaching licensure because i didnt get to record myself yet. Im stressing about not being able to register to vote before the deadlines because buncombe county sure as fuck aint gonna be processing that shit anytime soon. Im stressing about the packages i was supposed to have delivered and where they might be and if fucking hot topic is going to take back my order because i cant get to the closed mall to pick it up. Its stupid. Its all so stupid and selfish and i feel like such fucking garbage to be stressed about these things when people have lost everything. Lost family.

I don't know. I'm just trying to process trauma and not doing it well i guess. I've felt weirdly compelled to record all of my experience over the last 5 days, so I have a few hours worth of video and audio recordings. A lot of it was of the radio broadcasts which were our only way to get literally any information. Anyway have some photos.

[descendinginto-madness]

bad dreams.

word count: 1662

content warnings: mentions of health issues; the character not being very kind to themself in terms of their feelings

summary: while shaken up by the nightmare they had, emile comes across mr. yang

author's notes: hiiii emile with their dad 😋 he's so nice 😋 he's totally their real dad guys (he's not. found family moment. we don't talk about emile's biological parents rn.)

Emile feels stupid.

They know that what they saw was just a dream - an extremely vivid, terrifying one but still, just a dream, and therefore nothing to cry about - and yet here they are, curled up in their bed, tears filling their eyes, almost overflowing, all thanks to the fear overwhelming them. That by itself— Well— Maybe, maybe they could've dealt with feeling that, even right after waking up and seeing nothing but the darkness of their room around themself, but only if that fear would've disappeared shortly after, and it didn't. It doesn't want to leave, and nothing seems to help - not when they try to breathe slowly, maintaining a steady rhythm, not when they try to distract themself with scrolling. The latter doesn't work nearly as well as expected, because after looking through their chats too they remember that it's nearly 2AM system time, everyone on the Express is probably asleep already, and no one would respond to their messages anyways, and it only makes them more anxious. It's frustrating, really; it's annoying that they can't even do such a simple thing as calming down on their own.

They feel like they're about to cry and so they press they press their hand to their lips, just in case - last thing they want is to wake somebody up by being too loud, that would be embarrassing - but it also looks like they might need to anyway - because they can't calm down, and they're starting to feel trapped here, the room is starting to get suffocating, like the walls and the ceiling were getting closer, and closer, and closer, and—

They need to get out. 

The moment they think that, they get up, phone in hand, and leave the room, almost as if their body was working on its own and they weren't the one controlling it. They immediately feel a bit cold - the hallways on the Express can be a little chilly at night, and they're barefoot and only in the t-shirt and pajama pants they sleep in - but they decide that it's fine. In a moment they will adjust and barely feel it anyway. They close the door as quietly as possible, realizing that they aren't sure what they should do right now. It's probably best to leave the passenger area, though, so they ultimately head towards the dining hall - maybe a glass of water will help them, if nothing else does.

They know that coming across someone on the Astral Express even late at night isn't all that uncommon, yes, but seeing the light on the kitchen surprises them anyway - surprises or startles, they themself aren't sure. It's pretty late even for the crew’s standards, after all. They know, though, that despite everything, they'd rather not have met anyone here, and so, they start considering just going back - though, where would they go then? - but before they can decide to turn around, their presence is sensed or noticed, and someone calls out quietly from inside the kitchen.

They recognize the person to be Mr. Yang and that sends another wave of fear through their heart.

Ah, it's— it isn't like they're actually afraid of him, or dislike him, of course not; they know he's a trustworthy person, too, the only issue is that he's also, as they have already noticed, a very observant one, and that's the worst thing that could possibly have happened to them right now. They don't want to be asked any questions or answer them. It looks like they don't have much of a choice right now, though - quietly leaving right now would be simply weird - so they wipe their face and enter the kitchen with a small smile, hoping that it looks convincing enough and that the man won't pay any mind to the redness of their face.

“Hello.”

The two of them make eye contact, and Mr. Yang returns the smile. It's a little odd, seeing him in a simple turtleneck and pants instead of his usual attire, but they suppose it makes sense; after all, he's probably just been working or doing something else in his room, no need to overdress for that. 

“Oh, Emile,” he says, as they come in and start heading towards the counters. “Can't sleep?”

They nearly freeze for a split second when they hear the question, but they nod.

“Kinda, yeah.”

They wait for a bit longer awaiting further questions, but there's none; looks like he's satisfied with their answer, or simply decided not to pry, and they're grateful regardless of which one of these is true. 

Their hands are shaking slightly when they open a cupboard, take out a glass and pour themself some water. All this time, they can't help but feel like Mr. Yang is carefully watching their every move; despite the fact that when they catch the sight of him in the corner of their eye they can tell he's preparing whatever he came here for.

It makes them so much more tense. 

They immediately scold themself for it, too - really, they shouldn't be so nervous, nothing is going to happen, and if they continue to act this way, they're just going to make themself look more suspicious this way. At the very least, though, it distracts them from the nightmare - the initial fear seems to have mostly disappeared… But considering it was just replaced by a different kind of it, they aren't sure if it's that much of an improvement.

“Emile?” They hear suddenly, and it startles them so much that they nearly spill the water on themself. They put their phone on the counter and take the glass in both hands, glancing at Mr. Yang.

“Yes?” they ask, hoping their voice isn't shaky. 

“You look a bit pale. Is everything alright?” he says. Their eyes widen for a moment before they can compose themself, and, for an equally short time, his expression turns to that of worry. Still, when he speaks again, his voice is as calm as before.

“Ah, I meant- health-wise. If you need any medicine, I can go get it for you.”

For some reason that simple remark hurts, in an odd way; it's the fact that if they needed medicine, they'd likely have to go to the Express’s infirmary, and they felt uncomfortable every time they entered it, and Mr. Yang seems to have remembered that - but, again, it's a stupid thing to cry about. 

They smile and shake their head slightly; it's true that they need it often, but tonight it's not the case, luckily.

“No, thanks but I don't really need anything. I'm fine, just— just a bit tired, that's all.”

Granted, their reply would've been the same even if they were feeling worse again, because they'd feel bad sending anyone to get them anything in the middle of the night.

Mr. Yang doesn't really seem convinced by their answer; they grip their glass slightly tighter, waiting for his response but, finally, he nods. 

“Alright.” He has a mug in his hand, and looks ready to leave. “If you do end up needing anything, please let me know. I should be awake for a while longer.”

“Okay. Thanks,” they reply, and their voice is softer this time. They're dangerously close to crying again, and it makes them frustrated with themself, and that in turn only strengthens their urge to cry and - ah, they wish Mr. Yang would just go already, so they didn't have to do their best to hold back anymore. 

“Try to go back to sleep soon,” he adds with a small smile. “Goodnight.”

He's almost at the door when they reply - a simple ‘goodnight’ as well, but it sounds so unbelievably pathetic and…Then it happens. They inhale sharply and let out a sob, and the tears finally start to flow freely, streaming down their cheeks; they hold the glass with one hand and wipe their face with the other, trying to calm down, but once more they just can't, and they can only think about how stupid they must look, standing there in their pajamas, in the middle of the night, and crying - right when Mr. Yang can see it, too—

“Emile?” 

This time, the worry in his voice is clear.

They can't see much but they hear footsteps approaching, then a mug being put back on the counter. Mr. Yang gently takes the glass from their hand and puts it aside too, and - maybe it was a good idea, there was a chance they would've dropped it, but right now it only  makes them feel even worse, and— they're unsure if anything can actually make them feel better right now, they aren't sure what they should do, they never knew exactly how to act around Mr. Yang either, and it's so embarrassing to break down in front of him like that, and he surely must be thinking that too, and—

Before their thoughts can spiral too much out of control, though, they glance at him, wiping their eyes almost aggressively, and what they see on his face isn't the annoyance they expected; it's worry, and the look in his eyes is soft.

Something pushes them to take a step forward, wrap their arms around him, tighten the hug. Maybe they needed that more than they initially realized, and they're so thankful Mr. Yang doesn't seem to mind, meither that nor them crying into his shoulder, their entire body trembling slightly with the quiet sobs they're still trying to hold back, nor the fact that they might be holding onto him a bit too tightly, desperate for something that would soothe their fear. 

He returns the hug, and a part of them doesn't even know what to feel about this, but it's nice, and warm, and they suddenly realize that even though they're far from calming down, embarrassed and probably stressed out, they're starting to feel safe for the first time since they woke up from that awful dream of theirs.

divider by @/cafekitsune

[traversety]

Also tell me about your au

i assume u are referring to my idkhow au! so prepare for THE longest ramble! omg ogm gomg omg SOMEONE ASKED SOMEONE ASKED!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT !!!!! SOMEONE ON TUMBLR DOT COM FUCKING ASKED!!!!!!! this is going to be a LONG on anon!

uhhhhh tw in advance for some religious themes and death and suicide because yeah. i do talk about that a little

the short version is that it's a urban fantasy high school idkhow/waterparks crossover au that features several elements from idkhow's lore (notably gloomtown but tellexx is also there) and parx's intellectual property lore (notably soulsucker and starfucker, i want to incorporate the property but have yet to figure out how to fit it in there). OH and gerard way and mikey are there too as side characters EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE. oh and even though this is set in the 90s technically i'm giving everyone current-day technology because what the fuck why not.

actual plot is under the cut for those who want to see my ramble (anon you are legally required to read under the cut you unleashed me)

so the main character here is ryan seaman (not bc i like him but for plot reasons it makes a lot more sense), who has lived in bumfuck-middle-of-nowhere utah since he was eleven (oh btw he's adopted in this au). and he's a fucking teenage menace. high school am i right kids. ahahahaha. well anyways this new family moved to town in the summer of 1997 and one of their children is this INCREDIBLY handsome young man named dal! (by the way, did the math, dallon is sixteen). and the biological child of ryan's family, cal, INSTANTLY falls in love with him because your honor cal is incredibly homosexual and we all know dallon looks very good wHO SAID THAT I DIDNT SAY THA-

anyways ryan sees dal on the first day of school and is like There Is Something Interesting About This Guy and i am Not Sure what it is but yknow what cal likes him and he does really cool eye makeup every day so ig he's alright???? even though he's very quiet and has these traumatized eyes. anwyays ryan and cal's family have this lounge/bakery thing they run (inspired by this ice cream parlor in my town that doubles as a study space yes it is so fun to go to i love it there) and dal likes to do some of his homework there bc its kinda close to their school so there's plenty of dallon to go around

anyways cal's birthday rolls around at the beginning of october and he invites dal to come have a sleepover at his house! and he gets put i ryan's room because yeah sure ig. and anyways they stay up pretty late and fall asleep at around 2am ish????? and ryan just suddenly Wakes Up at like 6am (ON A SATURDAY POOR THING) and is like Something Is Wrong and tries to go wake up dal but he steps on this one creaky floorboard that is the only creaky one in the room and suddenly he fucking FALLS INTO THIS PITCH BLACK PLACE AND HES ALL LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WHERE AM I THIS IS NOT MY ROOM WHERE IS DAL OH GOD OH SHIT OH FUCK

as it turns out he is in an anti-purgatory called gloomtown, where the souls of those who were tormented while alive or did not live long enough to find meaning in their lives go (think people who were abused, or those who were murdered young or committed suicide). ryan learns all of this from gerard, who died when he wassssss..... thirteen? fourteen? (he fucking fell down the stairs and his neck snapped) and is now a vampire ghost who sort of wanders around the place.

he also tells ryan that You Are NOT Supposed to Be Here! and ryan really should get out. this THING starts chasing ryan around and almost kills him but then he gets bit by a snake????? and for some reason this stops whatever was trying to kill ryan and he gets tossed back into the world of the living and he is now INCREDIBLY confused.

and he tells cal about it and cal believes every word but he's like Erm The Snake Came Back With You! u got this tattoo on u now of a black snake and i swear its Alive and yeah. its alive. its name is maxx and it has a fucking british accent and likes to be a mean pissbaby to ryan (lmao get fucking owned). and ryan has to babysit it now. (btw maxx technically goes by it/he pronouns so i might refer to maxx as a him a lot too)

and for a few weeks all is fine and dandy and then halloween night. ohhhh yeah we serious. ryan looks in his fucking mirror and there is a PERSON STANDING IN IT. they have a glittering blue cloak on and the hood is up and they keep chanting FIND VENGEANCE over and over for like a minute before they leave. with no explanation. maxx is like Go to Gloomtown i know a fella who can maybe point u in the right direction. said fella turns out to be harley evangeline, the angel(?) that runs gloomtown. also the THING that tried to kill ryan!

and theyre like look i know what the fuck that guy is yappin on about but you gotta do me a favor first. i have a bunch of children and one of them is stuck in a necklace. and you gotta do a ritual to free it. here's this bottle of oil infused with the philospoher's stone youre gonna need it. and go find a fucking witch to help you. now get out.

now, good news! ryan knows a witch! bad news! the witch is awsten knight and he and ryan are sworn enemies! they used to be friends but Drama I Wont Get Into happened and now ryan hates him so theyre basically enemies. so now ryan has to suck it up and talk to awsten.

awsten is DELIGHTED to help actually because he loves the occult and shit and it turns out that harley's child is stuck in a moonstone pendant awsten wears all the time! so they free the child. he calls himself paris (its my oc-ified soulsucker jdrihgrdkhg) and he is like AH YES I KNOW HOW TO HELP!!!!!! and he explains some things!

so there are people in the world who can use magic. they are called the gloomtown brats because all magic comes from gloomtown thanks to harley's angelic aura. there are certain special brats who have conditions for their magic to show up. and there is one brat known as the vengeance. a new vengeance only shows up once every 100 years and they are VITAL to gloomtown's life cycle. the current vengeance apparently did some shit where they managed to sever their magic off and harley is Panicking bc they have no clue where vengeance is. but theyre around ryan's area somewhere.

the next day paris gets ONE look at dal and is convinced its him but there's no way to prove it. unless he does something that makes him very very happy! and thanks to cal's dal obsession they know that dal likes to play music! and there's a winter talent show the high school puts on every year for christmas and ryan manages to strong arm dal into joining up with him to play music.

now it turns out that when you put dal on a stage he is the most fucking enrapturing guy youve ever met. i mean come on he wears sparkling purple eyeshadow and does little eyeliner heart dots on his cheeks and has this aristocratic charm that hypnotizes you and GOD HE IS HANDSOME. and dal gets so lost in the performance that some of his gloomtown influence literally bleeds out of his fingertips in the form of black liquid (BLEED MAGIC REFERENCE I AM SO COOL YEAAAAHHH) which is more than enough proof for paris.

the only way to couple the magic back up to dal is to get him into gloomtown and thanks to awsten's annoying scheming they manage to get him in before he realizes what happened. and harley's all like OKAY DAL YOU NEED TO TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED

as it turns out dal has VERY strict parents who arent very big on the music he listens to/plays and theyve always seen him as some kind of cursed/demonically influenced child. and he was singing one time when his parents were gone and he didnt hear them come home and they got fucking PISSED at him and dal panicked and ripped his magic out because he was convinced that the gloomtown influence was what made his parents think he was demonically influenced and that without the magic everything would be better.

however he now says that he realizes that his parents were basically abusing and manipulating him and that he's allowed to be his own special person and he gets his magic back YAAAAY EVERYONE CHEER!!!!!

there is a LOT more i could go into like how starfucker fits into all of this and tellexx's relevance to the plot and the opening band tellexx au and why ryan and awsten weren't friends at the start of this. BUT you could also just go read my ao3 fic the paris manuscript because it's gonna cover some of these things! also if you go to my oc roleplay sideblog @aces-come-in-spades there's a masterpost about the opening band characters there and it's very helpful i think!!!!!

ALSO BY THE END OF THE PLOT RYAN AND AWSTEN ARE DATING BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE ENEMIES TO LOVERSSSSSSS

and its an on and off joke that cal may or may not be dating mikey way by the end of the plot. who knows? i'd never tell you :]

OKAY IM FINALLY DONE GO READ THE PARIS MANUSCRIPT BY TRAVERSETY ON AO3 I LOVE YOU SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG <33

[icypenguin]

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ To be in your arms

hellooo! sorry that i haven’t post for a long time since i last posted hehe… i’ll try to post on weekends! but anyway, enjoy this fanfic! this takes place in modern au and hurt/comfort

it was late. it was almost 2am. you were waiting for your darling kazuha to get back from work. delivered messages could be seen on your phone screen. you haven’t got any messages from kazuha since he went to work.

you were beyond worried at this point. he keeps coming home late. he said it’s just because he has so many works to do. but can’t he atleast spare some seconds to message you that he’ll come home late?

questions filled your mind. “what if he’s cheating on me?”, “what if he’s on someone’s house?”, “what if he’s leaving me?”. but knowing kazuha for many, many years, he won’t possibly do that.

just as you were thinking, the door handle made a sound and it opened the door. revealing a tired kazuha. “kazuha where have you been!? i’ve been worried sick about you! why didn’t you check my messages!?” you rushed to hug kazuha but he pushed back. you were hurt, but you tried to understand what he’s feeling.

“y/n please, i’m tired. everyone is tired and don’t expect me to have all my time for you.. you know i need to do something else right?” he asked with a cold tone.

“well- you couldn’t just leave me hanging around! can’t you atleast spare a minute!? i called you multiple times! and still no answer! you know what time it is kaz!? its past 2am now! what in the world were you doing!?” you couldn’t hold your patience anymore. your tone was a lot higher than usual. you were worried sick for him.

“i told you i was at work y/n. please, i don’t want to talk about anything right now. just let me sleep.” he rushed to go to your shared bedroom, basically ignoring you.

“oh kazuha! answer me! you always say that everytime i tried to talk to you about this! you know i can’t just live like this, right!?”

some minutes passed and your argument went heated. you both were shouting at eachother, not noticing the hurtful words you’ve told eachother. you never seen kazuha like this before. you didn't even feel a sense familiarity at him, you could barely notice that it’s him.

“oh well if you’re so mad at me, maybe i should have just leave you waiting for me. I SHOULDN’T HAVE COME BACK!” he shouted at your face, you were in disbelief when he said that. he’s not kazuha.

tears were at the edge of your eyes. your breath was shaky and you feel like crying. you tried your best to stay strong in front of him. “i-i’m sorry…” you quickly leave the living room and head towards the bathroom, where you could cry quietly.

kazuha, who has just noticed what he said, regretted everything. “w-wait y/n! i-i didn’t mean to-“ he tried walking to you but a part of h8m told him to leave you alone. so he stopped doing whatever he was doing. his brain could only repeat the hurtful words he said to you.

your mission to cry in the bathroom was a success. you ignored kazuha who’s waiting for you in front of the door. “y/n please just come out.. i could hear you sniffling…” you could tell in his tone, he regretted everything he said. his tone was soft and sweet, but you couldn’t forget about the hurtful words and cold tone he was using before.

you didn’t want to deal with anything else. but you just feel like you need comfort from someone, and that someone is kazuha. well, what can you say? he’s been doing this for weeks. ofcourse you missed his touch.

after some more minutes and by kazuha waiting patiently, you finally got out of the bathroom. but when you look at him, tears immediately flew out of your eyes. “hey, hey, shhh i’m here… please don’t worry.. i-i didn’t mean what i said..” he oulled you into a hug and wipe the tears thats falling right on your cheek.

you melt in his embrace as cried on his chest. he could feel his shirt having a wet patch but he did not worry about anything besides you. “i-i’m sorry im a burden!” you cried once more.

“shhh.. you’re not a burden y/n.. infact, you’re the opposite… you’re a motivation for me.. i-i know i hurt you with the words i said.. but i promise you, i was just stressed. those words, they meant nothing at all. please forgive me, my love..” he looked right into your eyes while holding your cheek. you could see in his eyes, he’s really telling the truth.

“i-i was working hard so… so we could go to tokyo… just like you wanted..” hearing this made your heart flutter. your eyes turned from teary to sparkly. all of this was just a misunderstanding.

“i- oh kazuha… you’re too much for me.. but… i can’t help but always think about the words you said.. a-and someone better than me being with you.. m-maybe- i… maybe you should-“ before you could finish that sentence, kazuha pulled you into a passionate kiss.

“oh love, don’t ever say that.. you’re the best for me. we’re made for eachother. and- please don’t ever think about it again. don’t ever think about something like that. i’m sorry i said those hurtful words to you.. but i promise, i didn’t mean any of those! i love you till the end, death can’t even do us apart…” hearing that makes your heart flutter even more. you knew kazuha could be the only one who can melt your heart.

“i’m truly sorry.. please forgive me?” kazuha begged you with a soft tone. even his eyes were pleading you to forgive him.

you chuckle and replied “okay i forgive you kazu.. just on one condition…” he looked at you with curiosity and hummed a curious tone.

“don’t come home so late again and cuddle me before bed for 5 months!” you asked excitedly.

“i would love to do that for you love” he kissed your cheek, then nose, then forhead. “and promise me you won’t think of something bad about us again, okay?”

“okay kazu. i love you” you replied and he kissed your lips. you both melt into the kiss, eyes closed with your lips moving in sync.

in the end, that night (or morning) ended up with kazuha being the big spoon as you were sleeping on his chest.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

thankyou for reading! this is my first time making hurt/comfort so sorry if theres alot of mistakes hehe.. but i hope you enjoyed this! advices are accepted, thankyou!

[sheriffspookypants]

wait also i need to make this post so i can remember in the future but some of my friends dragged me out for drinks finally a few weeks ago. in a group of like 8, two of them knew me when i was still in my party hard phase as a teen, like these are the OG drinking buddies where we'd each polish off a full bottle of vodka no sweat it was insane, the rest of the group have only known me in my, what i can best describe as house cat era. Anyway, it was a crazy night, we all got fucked up, i dont remember the whole night but i remember smoking cigarettes (i quit like 3 years ago oops) almost getting in a bar fight, we broke in some old abandoned buildings etc. Anyway, its like 2am, we're standing around shit talking, and one of my old friends whos always telling the others crazy stories about our heydays and how i could out drink all of them in my prime (which im pretty sure most of these guys dont believe cause these days like like four drinks and done) turns to the newer ones and said something along the lines of "see! i told you! this is what she used to be like!" all proud and im just standing there like :^) i know he absolutely didnt mean it in a bad way but like...idk if self-conscious is the right term but im like super...aware of the fact that im not the same person i used to be, and i worry that everyone just thinks im boring now. They still invite me to everything and no one has ever treated me differently than how they used to, but i cant help but feel like theyre just waiting for the old me.

[impishtubist]

It’s almost 2am and I need to bitch right now CHAOS NIGHT NOW Anyway, I just need to tell someone that I can’t stand fucking Snape. He sucks. I hate him. I just wish this fandom wasn’t so divisive about certain characters.

Its like, I still like your content even though you dislike Draco when I, myself, like him. Grr I’m just tired of pretending to like Snape bc people are mean (also tone indicator I’m not mad at you, just sleep deprived and frustrated)

Hahaha, you're fine, I did not think that you were frustrated with me! You also deserve a gold star for putting up with me and my content even though you like Draco: ⭐

Yeah, I don't understand all the pro Snape people. Especially when they're like "but he was bullied!" and then they turn around and go "we know that he bullied his students but he was TRAUMATIZED he couldn't HELP it! It's not the same!"

Anyway, I wasn't awake when you sent this, so I hope you didn't have to stew for too long, lol.