#and i just!!! don't care anymore!!!
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fucking hell man
#a lot of this stuff is art I've drawn over the past couple of years that I wasn't posting for one reason or another#buuuuuut I don't care about any of those reasons anymore so yay you're just getting (almost) everything#scribbles#gravity falls#ford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddauthor
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Learning to celebrate the little wins!
#fersona#While I don't have the capacity to do Hourly Comics Day#I did journal my day hour-by-hour and the sheer difference in my self-care and routines is *staggering*.#Honestly both Feb 1 2024 and 2025 were rough days...but this year I had a far better outlook on it all.#The funny part is that when I drew this a few days ago I actually *was* celebrating not crying.#Might have still cried on Feb 1st. A meagre 4 times. But I also had lot of good moments!#January is a very hard month for me and frankly I've been in a fugue state for most of it.#Drawing helped me pull through these last 2 years but this year I've been finding myself so upset at how I can't seem to focus anymore.#So updates and posts have been slow. I'm just slow. I'm tired and burnt out from work and grieving.#But you know what? The days I do manage to post; I'm never shamed for how long it took. You're all just as excited and kind.#I'm coming home and eating better and sleeping more and spending time with loved ones.#This is all to say; you can be a lot happier when you realize that life can be taken a little slower.#I'm more grateful that words can possibly convey.#If you related to the mindset of constantly feeling like you've 'failed' the day; please know you have done more than you realize.#I'm struggling with it everyday! I'm in the trenches with you!#Life is too short and painful to not celebrate what you *do* accomplish! It's hard work but it is worth it!#Bit by bit...we will learn to live. *Really* live. And enjoy it!
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Inho and Gihun
#although I don't think inho wants them “feel” his pain#he just doesn't cares anymore and has lost faith#inhun#457#squid game s2#squid game#hwang in ho#seong gihun#hwang inho#seong gi hun
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Hi! I love your Ghost Primes with Optimus AU! It’s so good.
I have a question though, do the Decepticons know that Optimus can see the 13 prime ghosts or do they just get increasingly confused each time they fight?
Thank you for the lovely artwork!!
oh they Know something funky is going on for sure lmao
a little more serious answer: they can tell something is going on with optimus and they desperately want to pretend it's not. they don't want to know how he's aware of things he shouldn't be, how he knows stuff that should have long been forgotten, how he seems to be more familiar with them than he should be. how sometimes he speaks and it's like the dead are talking through him. how sometimes he will answer to empty air and somehow they can just tell what he's responding to. who he is talking to.
they Know. and they really, really want to pretend they don't.
they already carry the guilt of failing them once. the idea of doing it once more is unbearable and they'd rather deceive themselves than face it. they'd rather their friends stay dead and gone than think of them seeing what they've become.
haunted au
#hey i got an ask#Anonymous#transformers one#transformers#optimus prime#soundwave#maccadams#haunted au#i loveeeee the concept of the decepticons being the former high guard you don't understand-#i will insert so much guilt and conflicted feelings into this dynamic as possible i don't care what anyone says about it ajkshdka#but anyway. the autobots at least got a brief explanation for optimus' weird behavior#the decepticons did not and so at first they're constantly confused and mildly creeped out by how weirdly cognizant the new little prime is#they eventually put it together. and then dearly wish they hadn't because the guilt that brings is Too Much#but they cannot turn back anymore. they chose their path and now they have to stick with it.#so they just. don't think about it.#this is obviously sustainable and not at all bound to result in a bunch of repressed feelings that may or may not explode at some point#ALSO THANK YOU I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY AU <3333#i'm having so much fun with it but i'm so happy others enjoy it too!!!#thank you so much for sending me this ask!!!!#tf one#my art
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911: LONE STAR | TARLOS ↳ EVERY KISS (Season 1 -> Season 5)
#911 lone star#911lsedit#tarlos#tk strand#carlos reyes#LONG POST#tw: long post#really really long post. I am giving all the warnings! so sorry for your dash scrolling#my gifs#gayedit#when I decided to do this I did not realize just how many gifs I would be making#we were truly BLESSED with this couple. we got so much from them!#I fear the aesthetics were lost a bit for the sake of being comprehensive but I don't even care anymore...#because I FINISHED IT! wooo!#if I missed one. PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME. I will scream if I find out I did... I would rather live in blissful ignorance#ok which one is your fave? there's only 78 gifs to choose from!
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I think more ppl need to see this
Yeah for real lol. That's exactly what it is with him. Not to toot my own horn too much but I believe this post I made ages ago hits the nail on the head haha
"I'm bored" is... technically true. In a sense. Personally, I think it's a very simple and vague allusion to the real problem. That thin sheet of snow coating a massive, freezing cold iceberg. Just barely obscuring it from proper view.
imo it's been a bit disappointing seeing people take to extremes with Burning Spice's character. I've seen people either woobify him, downplay or excuse his actions by saying "he's not evil! He's hurting! He's depressed! He doesn't hate people, he's lashing out because he can't internalize his pain anymore!", or just demand he be put to death immediately on sight without trial. You can like a morally repulsive character and sympathize with their issues while also acknowledging that they're repulsive and need to face justice for their crimes. Burning Spice is one of my favorite characters, I love everything about him, he's sexy as fuck, I understand why he's the way he is, I'm still happy to see his ass beat because he's a piece of shit and he deserves it lol.
Not to throw shade at "simpler" villains ofc. I love me some assholes that are assholes just because they can be. Like Jack Horner in Puss in Boots 2. But Burning Spice isn't Jack Horner and he honestly shouldn't be. The deeper, sadder, more complex reasons governing his actions suit him better than just "I'm bored fuck this shit" and nothing else ykwim
and of course, he's still wrong. Burning Spice's view of the world is wrong. Does a book begin just to end? Does a song play just to finish in a few minutes' time? No. They begin so that we may read, listen, and enjoy. So that they may make us laugh, or have us shake our heads in disappointment, or tell us some hidden truth. Make our days and lives a little more interesting than they were before. Life is beautiful BECAUSE it is fleeting. Born, grow, wither, born, grow, wither. Yes, that's how it goes. But there's so much more to those things than just what we can gather from those three words. Every day is different. Though the sun rises every morning without fail, it's never quite the same color, is it? Always a bit of a different shade of yellow, orange, red, bleeding into the sky a little differently each time. There are so many things to see and do, games to play, people to meet and love and cherish. Maybe some of those things and those people won't be here someday but that doesn't mean their existence never meant anything. We are not born to die, we are born to live. We must die for those who are to live, and live for those who have died. Regardless, we must never lose sight of the intrinsic value of all that surrounds us. Burning Spice very much did. Underneath his bitterness and anger and (not unfounded, to be fair) lamentation for the unstoppable cycle of life and death is a deep-rooted selfishness and fundamental lack of understanding and appreciation for life and other people. In the face of despair, he gave in and chose evil. He was and is wrong for doing so, regardless of why he did it. He could've stepped down. He could've just admitted he didn't have what it took to be the Herald of Change. Hell, if he really hates being alive so much, he would've committed suicide a LONG time ago. But he never did any of that; instead he chose to inflict an equal or greater suffering on everything and everyone else, even the undeserving. And for that he MUST pay. And Golden Cheese, with her personality and her experiences and the wisdom she came to attain when faced with the exact same despair as Burning Spice, is exactly the right person to make him do that
#i remember a long while ago in a post i made talking abt BS and his worldview...#...I made it sound like I actually did buy the “I'm just doing this because I was bored” thing#in hindsight i should've made it clear that i was entertaining that concept just because. just for the sake of a made up argument#i never actually believed he was just bored and nothing else lol that analysis post I made 100 years ago should be proof enough#I'm not about to go digging for it but I'm a little worried i accidentally gave the wrong impression to people now 😅#i know who BS is you guys I know why he's who he is I played the game i understand the assignment i swear#cookie run kingdom#burning spice cookie#burning spice crk#merchant asks#also fuck nihilism all my homies hate nihilism#life has meaning. life has worth. always no matter what#my parents are going to die someday does that mean i shouldn't care about them? just as a random example#life is beautiful no matter what ofc but death being a constant factor that determines its end makes it even more so#we have a duty to understand and cherish what we have because someday we won't have it anymore#and then when we don't. we have to accept that. and continue our way forward. try to find happiness again#“don't cry because it's over. smile because it happened” that kind of mindset
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Tuvok is not as autistic coded in-narrative compared to what I've seen of Spock or T'Pol where they're othered heavily by those around them and have themes and arcs about struggling/striving to fit in BUT I do think he provides the vital autistic representation of not really angsting about your differences from other people because you're too busy and unaware and then even when you ARE made aware you mostly just think 'glad that's not me'. I think it's vital to have that sort of totally unbothered rep. I love that Tuvok is completely satisfied and proud of being Vulcan, doesn't long to experience emotion or struggle with a desire to express himself in a way his crewmates will understand, to be closer to them. I love that he has a long time and close friend that respects who he is and doesn't try to change him and that how close they are isn't framed as being in spite of his Vulcan nature. I love that being Vulcan isn't framed as a hindrance to him, like a roadblock to living a full and rich life. He has a wife and four kids and is a devoted husband and father. He's getting into gay horror scenarios. Tuvok was born on autism planet and he's thriving.
#there were apparently multiple friend group dramas in high school that I didn't pick up on at ALL#I'm drawn to how at ease Tuvok is with himself and I personally like that Humanity isn't appealing to him#It was at one point when he was a young but not anymore#I personally (it truly is personal) don't like when Vulcans' way of life is framed as being incorrect. I see it a lot in fanfic where part#of showing romance or friendship is that a Vulcan will emote more or 'loosen up' but I don't like it...I think it's a bit boring and that#them being alien with a completely alien form of emotional control/expression is what makes a Vulcan interesting. Otherwise#they seem like nothing more than overly repressed Humans. I do get the appeal of a repressed character being freer but I don't like#the implication that an entire culture is restrictive and bad bc it isn't easily understandable as 'good' in our view. So um...it's like??#I don't like when it's like 'this Vulcan is acting more like what I a Human think is good - they're acting more like me so it's healthier'#does that make sense?? I want it to be...less about bringing someone over to your side and more about love and understanding even if you#aren't the same. It doesn't have to be the same to be lovely I think...and I like how Tuvok and Janeway are so exemplary of their species'#values and that DOESN'T mean they butt heads. They work exceptionally well together and trust each other and care about one another a lot#and I like that a lot! I wish we got to see more of that. WHAT a RANT!!! Sorry!!!#Tuvok#autistic tuvok#star trek voyager#voy#I like Tuvok because I personally can't relate as much to characters like Data who wish to be Human and as a kid I thought of myself as#an alien taking Human form - I didn't want to be Human. I was just there amongst them. I liked that difference...#it made me feel a little lonely and a little special.
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It is still very huh to me that some people don't realize that Jonathan in s4 is the most depressed we've ever seen him. Just because he has one friend in California doesn't mean he's happy by any means.
And part of why he's depressed is that despite what he says Joyce & Will need him less than ever. Joyce is working from home making a decent income and actually around (and most likely getting extra money from Owens look at the house) and Will is 15 and seemingly navigating HS pretty well.
So Jonathan, for the first time ever possibly doesn't have a role in the family. Or rather, his role has quickly shifted from parent/guardian to child. And he doesn't know what to do. He's adrift and he, as tragic as it sounds, does not know how to live for himself and what he wants. Which of COURSE is going to lead to depression and drowning that out with Weed and like his longing to go back to stay in Lenora and convince himself that eventually Joyce & Will are going to need him again which again of course they aren't.
#and you boring ass bitches wanna kill him before he figures out who he is outside of his family#HE'S JUST A BABY#“THE ONLY THINGS WE'VE SEEN HIM WANT FOR HIMSELF ARE NYU NANCY PHOTOGRAPHY AND TO SAVE WILL”#I shout as they drag me away#also this is NOT to say that his stoner era is bad#in fact much the opposite I think it's a very teenager is finally a teenager and does teen activities#it was very over the top though#folks you ever only living to take care of your family and then suddenly don't need to do that anymore but you also can't kill yourself?#ANYWAYS#it's me back at it again yapping about one special boy#one day I'll finish Landslide and Untitled Jonathan Byers in California fic and you'll all see#jonathan byers#stranger things
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but they're 8000 standings each
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hollow
#the great ace attorney#dai gyakuten saiban#tgaa#dgs#kazuma asogi#asogi kazuma#asougi kazuma#kazuma asougi#evangenny art#'lucien these colors look awful' i don't fucking care anymore#this shit sat in my folder for almost 9 months now i want it FINISHED and GONE and OUT OF MY SIGHT#tbh i didn't initially plan to make this Very Red it just. kinda happened#it's 2 am i should go sleep before i lose my mind
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Do you think that Snape, after being yelled at by McGonagall for showing her attitude and somehow the fight escalating to their past when Snape was a child, and told that if he was actually traumatised by her actions, he'd be afraid of her, not rude to her, would lock himself in his room and cry, cry, cry, because despite the fact that he fought back and screamed that he IS traumatised, that she DID hurt him by not being there, that she IS responsible for him being this way, he isn't sure? Because every single person around him tells him that he's the problem. That he's rude. That it's his fault the other party was offended. Even though he didn't mean to be rude, he was just being him, but surely he's the problem if everyone's saying it? Or maybe he's surrounded by the wrong people? Or maybe he is wrong, and he is a horrible person, he is a piece of trash, he's wrong and just stubborn?
Do you think that sometimes he doesn't even know if he's right or wrong? That he doesn't even care, all he knows is that he's so, so angry, he's in so, SO much pain, he wants to scream, he wants to cry, it all hurts and no one's coming to make it better and he can never get it out, he can never truly vocalise it because the words won't come, and he looks hysterical, insane, and selfish.
He's just tired.
#severus snape#pro snape#professor severus snape#minerva mcgonagall#why minerva and not the others? lets just say that my own mother's given me my fair share of issues and im done#i dont even care if im wrong anymore if im an awful person i do not care i actually don't#because nothing i do makes me look good everything about me is just wrong so why should i care anymore?#why bother trying? I'll always have “problems”#but noooo im not autistic i dont have adhd i couldn't possibly#like hello what do you think my “attitude” is mum? me choosing to be rude to people?#im not diagnosed yet this is all from my own research and im not even sure sometimes#and sometimes i geniunely worry that maybe i AM neurotypical and just a lazy self centred human#i dunno#well guess that explains why i like snape so much and why i defend him
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"but if we label autism & depression as both 'neurodivergent,' that's like saying they're the same thing!" truuuuue like when my friend & i stand under the same umbrella & instantly meld into one person like in a cronenberg movie
#DO YOU NEED HELP ON THE BASIC MECHANICS OF HOW AN UMBRELLA WORKS#this is about tumblr user lesbiancalamari who isn't worth reblogging#''i just don't care anymore'' girl you've been arguing abt this for TWO WEEKS who are you fooling#like damn just be wrong. it's not hard. you're better at it than you think
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#I never really finished this but I just don't care anymore. It looks done enough. It was mostly a lot of experimenting#My stuff
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I wonder if Prime was referencing this 🥺
Do not tag as ship or I will duct-tape your toes to a 50 foot ceiling
#i think the bottom panel is from the archie comics?#which i know aren't canon anymore but still#these two have a brotherly relationship in a completely different way than sonic and tails and it's so cute#underrated fr#they look out for each other#even tho that was renegade not the og Knuckles he became protective of sonic just like his og#i love when knuckles redirects his protector instincts to his friends rather than an object#especially since he used to have such beef with sonic#i love these two#i wanna make more analyses about them tby#*tbh#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sth#knuckles the echidna#renegade knucks#sonic prime#sonic archie comics#sonic and knuckles#knuckles#BRUDDERS#don't tag as ship#they care for each other waaaaahhhh#i really hope the bottom one wasn't secretly fanmade lol
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will solace and his small touches with his friends.
he runs away from angry ares kids after a successful prank, his legs brushing against cecil's. he drags nyssa away from the fire by the back of her overrals, his fingers brushing against the back of her neck. he finds and puts on glasses for malcolm, when he searches for the pair. he brushes the hair away from mitchell's eyes when he tries to choose between two nail polishes. he lightly bumps heads with lou ellen while they laugh together over funny spells. he hugs drew's shoulders when she starts talking about her siblings. he gives a plate of food to annabeth when she locks herself up in cabin 3.
sometimes after, he caresses nico's scars on his hands. he ties alabaster's hair in a tiny ponytail during a stressful night.
#will is very affectionate but his touches and actions like this carry just as much care and love#i would've written about clarisse too but i don't think that he was talking to her much anymore after the battle of manhattan#the whole reason i decided to write this post is drew&will friendship#wait for more of it#will solace#cecil markowitz#nyssa barrera#malcolm pace#mitchell#lou ellen blackstone#drew tanaka#nico di angelo#alabaster torrington#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#hoo#heroes of olympus#frog speaks
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So there's this Shadowvanilla fic on Ao3 Im fairly certain you know about, and in It SM and PV link up to eachother's minds/feelings/souls via their souljams touching, and its pretty sweet since since they're on their chests, the two basically have to hug to connect.
Which made me think, what about the other beasts and ancients? BS and GC would be by far the weirdest imo bc she would have to touch her forehead to his chest??? Which depending on the size difference It could still just be a hug.
SS and WL would touch their weapons (sword and staff), which can comes off as distant or cold, despite the fact they're about to peer into eachother's very being.
ES and MF suffer because their's are on their forehead and their ancient's are on their weapons😭😭 imagine HB shield to EG's forehead, that'd be awkward af
I'm not actually sure what you're referring to 😅 is it Jambound? I think something like that happens in it? I don't really remember, I read the first 3 chapters a while ago and that's it haha (I really don't have the time to read fanfics, especially not ones as long as that one (it's like 15 chapters long now and still going with no end in sight, isn't it??? Goodness)). I never really did much of anything on AO3 tbh, I honestly just go there to write and post my own dumb garbage and then vanish into the aether again
Regardless. I always vibed with the concept of the Ancients and Beasts connecting/strengthening their existing connection through their Soul Jams. But the way I've tried to get around the fact that most of their placements are... cumbersome and don't really lend themselves to that (White Lily's staff and Silent Salt's sword, for example) is, I think of it as... Through the sharing of the Soul Jams, they're all already bound to one another, yeah? So do they NEED to have them be a component in the physical aspect of this? Do White Lily and Silent Salt NEED to have their staff and sword clink together to express that intimacy? Or can they simply embrace each other nice and tight, staff and sword set aside nearby, and their souls can resonate just with that action? The Soul Jam not physically being in their hands doesn't really mean it's left their ownership and they've completely lost access to its power, I don't think; we saw that with how the Light of Abundance refused to answer to Smoked Cheese when he took it, and how Golden Cheese could keep fighting Burning Spice for a while even without it (albeit weaker). So idk if they need the Soul Jams to touch so they can feel closer to each other. I think they've all been naturally imbued with that power at least to some degree and thus don't really 100% need the physical Soul Jams to facilitate that closeness. If I'm already super glued to somebody then not putting my hands on their belt buckle or whatever isn't going to make us any less stuck together ykwim
With that said I like to imagine BS's being particularly sensitive since it's embedded in his chest. GC can press her hand down on it, or lay her head against it, and feel his heart beating through it, if only faintly. Maybe it feels warm to the touch, and grows warmer and shines brighter the faster his heart races. Maybe his breath catches in his throat when she touches it because it feels different there than it does when she touches any other part of his body. Maybe it acts as a cute little nightlight when they're curled up together in bed. Maybe it burns hot like a coal and glows like the fire in a hearth when they're deep in the throes of passion. Maybe, as a charming little gesture, she actually will touch her forehead to his chest so they can listen to that soft little clink that sounds the little kiss Abundance and Destruction shares. Maybe a certain something stirs within them both when she does it, maybe not. But it's cute. They're so in love that even their Soul Jams want to make out. Lol
Also any excuse to put her face in those big strong man titties is 👌👌👌 in her opinion
#y'all just come let me know how Jambound ends whenever it does bc I really cannot be bothered to read all of that lol#i don't have the time or patience anymore. i just don't. every time i peek at it the total chapter count doubles#does the author actually have an end goal in mind or are they just belting out chapters until they run out of steam lol#don't mean to sound harsh. Jambound is wonderful from what i remember. I just don't think I understand what the point of it is anymore haha#maybe I'm just really sad bc i remember the author being a way better writer than I am/ever was and I feel worthless compared to them idk#it doesn't really matter. who cares. just yammering for no reason again#did anything i said actually make sense? i haven't really slept in a few days idk i can articulate my thoughts well rn haha#burningcheese#goldenspice#beast x ancient#that's probably the easier tag as opposed to spamming aaaaalllll of the actual ship names lol
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