#and i have a complex hate hate hate love relationship with the blue ripped guy

[fabuladorah]

The moment your evil vilains who eat orphans for breakfast and make tea with their tears start acting like a found family, these aint your evil vilains anymore, these are, in fact, my sweet little babies who never did anything wrong in their life.

[bee-cried]

Welp

I'm a slut for this fic

Expand this post at ur own risk

but i warned you and you're still here

interesting🤔...

🤭

i wonder how sbj feels about fic written for her story? That's why I don't like tagging these posts with the mth tag because I feel like that's both rude and like...

I don't know.

If I made a fanfic for a show I loved, shipping my favorite characters, and I felt like all the ships are basically otp, just for someone who's read my story and liked it, to come and rewrite it to fit their original characters in it, I'd feel... quite odd to say the least. 😐

But I wanted to post this because I was going to post art but it's too late and I don't feel like drawing. I hate drawing rn. It is what it is.

If SBJ ever does come across this post and she's not with it, I will take this down because I get it. It's her idea.

But weird confesstion time: I think I'm more of a fan girl for MTH than PPG at this point. Does anyone else feel this way? :I

I think Racket admitted that once, I don't know, don't "quote me" but.... yeah...

I've been reading this fic since 2014, dead ass, and when I tell you guys I've literally been rewriting the entire story to make my own AU

I'm not lying. It's... very strange, I know :(

okay very weird confession time over. I'll regret that in the future lol.

---

So before the story -i'm going to get to it, I promise- I just wanna explain the premise here.

Such as SBJ has aged up the ppg and rrb, I've done the same for my characters.

In a very odd sense, Lillian Bella ,and Jenna are remarkably similar to Bubbles, Buttercup and Blossom.

In many ways, such as the way they interact with each other, their personalities and blah, you'll see what I mean as you read the bit I'm posting.

But I'm dead ass when I say, I made my characters way before I read more than human.

Their personalities did shift though because of other things that influenced me. Such as, Lillian is literally Cat Valentine TM and I know ppl say that Bubbles is also Cat but no-

I have based Lillian off of cat since like 2015. before the conversation for Bubbles started online.

Lol but whatever, these characters do read as rip offs :( i'm sorry.

Lastly, Lillian and Boomer where in a relationship. In this AU Lillian is basically the stand in for Hailey, and the break up made her fall on her ass hard. So yeah, maybe one day i'll repost that "chapter" where u can obviously tell she's trying to ask Boomer out before he inevitably goes for Bubbles.

Sorry Lillian girl, but the blues are fate 💅🏾

so ALLLLLLLLLLLLL that aside.

here's the damn thing, with a lack of attention to spelling and grammar. it's based off of chapter 10 when the boys get sick.

---

Bella flew on her back as she guided Jenna and Lillian though the sky.

“They live right over there, beyond the other apartment complex,” she ordered them, “see?”

Lillian squinted into the distance, “Wow, you really do have good memory.”

“I’m your fucking sister, you should know this first.”

Jenna flew before them, “Come on, I don’t want to be over here too long. The professor should be on his way.”

“Oh, the Professor’s coming? I haven’t spoken to him in awhile,” Bella said.

“He was at the Introduction dance the other day,” her twin responded.

“I know, but we never got to say hi. Too busy bothered with… other things.”

“Like going to the boy’s house?” Jenna asked.

“Precisely.” Bella nodded.

They continued to chat as they neared the complexes. Talking eased Lillian’s nerves at least. Eventually they made it in front of the door. Jenna knocked.

“Go the fuck away,” Butch’s voice said, hoarse.

“Butchy boy, I brought you a present.” Bella said in a singy songy voice.

“Bella?” he muffled. There was faint shuffling before the locks of the door opened. It cracked as Butch peered.

“You actually came?... and Wow, you really did bring a special gift,” he said, oggling the other two girls. “Too bad I’m too sick to enjoy-”

“Butch let us in, we came to fix you,” Bella ordered bowling open the door. 

He stumbled aside as they walked in, “That’s one way to ask if you can come in I guess.” His slacked expression drifted to Jenna as she crossed the threshold. She didn’t notice him starring.

“This place is huge,” she marvelled.

“So is my room, you wanna check that out?” Butch offered.

Bella snorted, “You’re literally crippled right now, and you think Jenna want’s anything to do with you?” 

Butch was determined, but Jenna moved along the apartment, more interested in the layout and design.

“Butch” a throaty deep voice croaked from a lump on the couch, “I thought I told you to shut up. Why are you inviting fucking guest over?”

Lillian immedeatley turned her head. Boomer was turned to the couch he lay on, blanket over his head.

“Boomer, we’ve got ladies,” his brother grinned.

“I don’t care,” Boomer groaned.

“Don’t worry Boomer, we’ll be out of your hair in no time,” Jenna reassured him. She stood a bit rigid in the dining area, “We’re just waiting on your brother to come so we can get this process over with.”

“You sure you don’t want to stay for the hot tub?” Butch rose a brow.

Lillian was amazed. “You guy’s got a hot tub?”

At the sound of her voice, it seemed the Boomer lump went stiff. 

“Sure, if you guys stay over,” Butch sniffled.

Lillian considered, “Mmmh. No thanks, maybe some other time.”

“Think about it,” Butch muttered.

“I’m thinking about how the fuck you guys are survivng off of just silverware and cereal.” Lillian and Jenna turned to Bella who was scouting their kitchen. “What the fuck are you guys even eating in here? Do you share this?” She shook the cereal box she was indicating.

“Get out of their kitchen,” Jenna ordered.

“No. How about I go get food for their kitchen.”

“Volunteering to be a personal butler?” Butch peered up.

“You’re real funny,” Bella muttered opening their fridge. “I’ve got my own butler to demand around. I cant have a butler and be a butler. That’s just silly.” Just then the front door opened and everyone turned to.

Buttercup and Bubbles stood in the doorway, laddened with grocery bags.

“Huh. I’ve gotta make sure I lock that thing more often,” Butch noted to himself.

“Welcome to the party,” Bella said from the kitchen.

Bubbles instantly rushed to Boomer as Buttercup dropped her groceries, “I didn’t even know we were having one.” Butch helped himself to her bags.

“What brings you guys?” Jenna asked. Bubbles was sat on the edge of the couch, comforting her sick boyfriend.

“We’ve bout some stuff to help the boys feel better in the meantime. I’m cooking soup.”

“You’re going to cook for us?” Butch said, a sparkle in his eye.

“Don’t get too happy. I’m just doing this as a friend.”

“Oh Buttercup, you really are the bestest friend in the whole wide world.” Butch moaned blearily.

“Uh huh.”

“Hey! what about me?” Bella called from the kitchen, closing the fridge door. “I came to help as well.”

“Help raid our pantry?” Butch offered.

“No,” Bella replied back just as snarky, “Help bring my sister so that she can make you guys feel better faster.”

“She’s telling the truth,” Jenna sighed, pulling out a chair for herself, “Lillian is here to help with recovery. But aside from that I have no clue why Bella tagged along.”

“Emotional support.” she said as if it were obvious.

“Guy’s I don’t mean to be a mood killer,” Bubbles said gently from the couch, “but Boomer say’s that he���s really tired and he’d like some rest.”

The room replied with various apologies before ending the conversation. Having nothing else to distract him, Butch eventually fell back asleep on the floor as Buttercup began assorting the groceries, the other girls offering their help alongside her.

------

LAtEr

aye

THIS PART IS LITERALLY SBJ'S WRITING. WORD FOR WORD.

I am just showing off the parts I added in, to show the general vibe of how I weave in my story.

Read More than Human it's better anyway lol :)

continuing

---

“How are you feeling?” Bubbles asked as she poured a fresh glass of water for Boomer and carried it over to the couch. “Any better?”

“I guess. At least until you leave.” He grinned weakly at her, and she smiled.

“Ugh, now you’re making me sick,” Buttercup gagged from the kitchen. Lillian had just finished chopping the carrots and dumped them into the bowl beside her. Jenna was washing dishes and Bella made use with Butch’s playstation portable in the meantime.

Bubbles shot a disapproving look over her shoulder. “Nobody asked you to stay,” she retorted, and Butch raised his hand from where he laid on the living room floor.

“I asked,” he pointed out. “Because Boomer didn’t feel like playing with me. ‘Go play with yourself,’ he said.”

“Hey,” Boomer warned, eyes narrowed. “We got ladies in the house.”

“Ladies cooking for you, no less,” Buttercup muttered under her breath as she set a pot of water to boil. “A little help, Bubbles?”

 She picked up the bowl of vegetables Lillian had just chopped up for her. “Well, at least I got some help. Thanks, Lillian,” she mumbled giving her sister a pointed glare.

Lillian giggled, “It’s no problem. I love cooking.”

“I can tell. You did good with these.” She shuffled the bowl around inspecting the cuts she was granted with.

As she did so, Lillian went to chop some onions, quietly keying on the conversation in the livingroom.

Bubbles looked down at Boomer and smiled again. “Drink your water.”

The look on his face was apprehensive. “Don’t leave me. What if I drown?”

Bubbles stifled a giggle and tried to look serious. “You’re going to drown in that cup of water?”

“I’m very sick, you know. It could happen.”

“You’re just… you’re so silly!” Bubbles laughed, and leaned down to kiss him on the forehead.

“Hey, how come I don’t get any kisses?” Butch sounded upset.

“Bubbles! Help much?!” Buttercup snapped. “Seriously, for Christ’s sake!”

“Alright! Keep your shirt on,” Bubbles grumbled, squeezing Boomer’s hand before heading for the kitchen.

“Please don’t,” Butch said hopefully. “Please don’t keep your shirt on.”

Buttercup pitched a dish towel at him.

Bella who had headphones on and was sat at the dining table, removed one muff not taking her eyes off of her game, “Are you guys seriously talking about fucking while the boys are sick?…. Because that would be actually sick.”

“Put your headphones back on,” Buttercup grumbled pulling out a spoon.

“No. I want in on this. If the room is in favor of an orgy, I am too.”

“But didn’t you just say that was sick?” Lillian blinked innocently as she peeled her onion. Bella was too distracted by the game in her hands to answer.

“She is no help,” Buttercup mumbled.

“Trust me Buttercup, her being occupied with the game is the greatest help you’ll get from her in this situation.” Jenna said nonchalantly drying a dish and setting it aside.

“Yeah, Bella’s pretty bad in the kitchen,” Lillian giggled, thinking furtively back to her sister's many kitchen atrocities. 

Bubbles had joined her side. She was bright, “Ooh! Blossom’s not good as well. I guess we all aren’t so different after all.” she said giddy.

Lillian quietly looked at her as Bubbles, chipper,  reached for a knife herself. She decidedly moved her cutting board to the other counter where Jenna was apart of, “Yeah, maybe so,” she said in a quiet voice. Bubbles blinked.

Some tomatoes was set in front of her.

“Get to chopping,” Buttercup ordered. 

Bubbles rolled her eyes lightheartedly and began chopping up a tomato, all the while she cast Lillian a distrait look over her shoulder.

--And lastly, closure between Lillian and Boomer--

Lillian was the last at the boys house. As awkward as it was arriving, eventually with the day panning along she’d loosened up and got more comfortable. 

After the girls left, Jenna surely left. She checked on Brick before leaving though, but he’d been asleep. Lillian noticed she’d been glancing at Brick’s door all day, especially when Blossom was in it. 

After she left, the professor showed up. He was very delighted to see Lillian and Bella. They talked for a while, shared pleasantries, and then he did his part before waving goodbye. Bubbles had waved too and thinking back to the hard time Lillian was giving her today, she granted her a small wave back feeling a bit guilty. 

Eventually, Bella fell asleep at the table as night fell and Lillian worked on her personal remedy that she needed to give to the boys before she left. 

She looked at her glowing hands and sighed, then casted a look at the living room. Boomer and Butch had left for their rooms. She thought about calling them out, but figured their day was hard enough and shook out her nerves before starting off-

“Want me to go with you?” Bella mumbled beside her. Lillian blinked to her.

“No. It’s fine.” she mumbled before starting for Brick’s room. 

Brick was asleep luckily for her, so she made his visitation quick, so was Butch. Boomer’s room was the door she hesitated in front of. The soft sleep of her sister was just beyond her, like a personal reminder to get a move on.

Lillian swallowed thinking back to the one and only time she got a glimpse of his room. It was a Nirvana poster and an acoustic guitar, and it stayed that way and it was perfect that way when she thought about it. 

She placed a reluctant hand on the knob and twisted very gently, easing the door open as not to make a sound. 

He said nothing. 

She opened the door a little more and shuffled in, trying not to be so awkward about this. She got a good look of his space. There were posters plastered everywhere,  mainly blonde girls and rock stars. She noted those blonde girls specifically though, and wondered, grudgingly, what he’d ever saw in a girl like her?  

His room was a little messy, not as wild as Butch's but messy nonetheless.  He was lied on his bed turned to the other wall with a window shining dimly behind curtains. It was dark, but she didn't want to wake him up so she used the light around her to her advantage. 

When she reached him, she halted, hovering above him a bit. She felt her stomach doing cartwheels.

He slept very peacefully on his side. He didn't snore or breath heavy, he just lay real still, blankets pulled over him. 

her hands tingled to touch him with the remedy. She took a deep breath and reached out for his shoulder-

He turned. Lillian wretched her hand back and gasped. 

His eyes were open but heavy. 

"You're still here?" He asked, surprisingly nonchalant. His voice was still sore, she could hear it, but it was also drowsy. 

"I'm… I'm here to help you." Lillian whispered. "Get better."

"Mhh," he hummed. Then he sniffles. "You're not gonna get sick?"

"I'm immune to the virus naturally," she said fiddling with her fingers.

"Oh. Sweet," he muttered.

She touched his shoulders feeling how incredibly warm he was. It was worrisome, though all the boys had that temperature tonight. The light in her hand navigated slowly through his body.

As she waited for the remedy to pass through, she cleared her throat, a bit awkward. "H-how long were you up? Are you okay? Do you need water or…anything like that?"

"No. It's okay." Boomer croaked. "I wouldn't want to bother you."

Lillian looked simultaneously confused and frustrated, "why would that be bothering me?"

"Because like… you still sort of hate me and all."

Lillian went quiet. She bit her lip looking down. She didn't hate Boomer but…

But maybe she was being a jealous friend. 

She sighed shaking her head, "Boomer, I don't hate you." She said softly. She looked at him, "I'm sorry for making you feel that way."

He coughed and looked down, "You don't have to apologize."

It was quiet for a moment before Lillian muttered, "I feel like I should." 

It was quiet again. 

"Well whatever I did, I'm sorry too," Boomer mumbled. 

"That's the thing," she mumbled. A horrid sense of guilt began to wash over her as she looked down at her shoes. "That's the thing about this entire situation.  You've done nothing. You don't deserve to feel bad because I'm upset. It's just not right and… I'm being a bad friend trying revolve everything around me." She blinked, sadly, "I'm-... you're not in the wrong here."

Boomer looked at her. She didn't catch the gaze he casted her.

“Sorry,” she finally breathed.

His hand was hot as it clasped around the wrist of the hand healing him. She finally looked up into his eyes, though sick, ironically warm. 

“Me too.” He said, his voice soft like a whisper. “About…everything. About how it all went down.”

She could tell, he was talking about something different. Deeper than her entire petty dilemma, and that struck something within her. Something regretful.

Was this the only closure she was going to get? A tragic one?

As she looked into Boomer’s eyes, recalling the look of admiration he once gave her that he now gave to another girl, she came to a stubborn realization.

That perhaps she was asking too much from a boy. A simple boy, who only wanted to move on, and for some reason she wanted to keep him forever. It could simply be that she needed to let him go and appreciate the extension of friendship he offered her over and over again.

Even when she ignored it. Even when she hated him for it. 

The pressure of his hand went slack as he began to drift unconscious, probably too exhausted to keep up with the conversation he engaged with her in the first place. 

She stood by his bedside, hand on his shoulder and her heart heavy.

***

Bella shook her head awake as a tap came to her shoulder.

“We can go now. I’m all done,” Lillian whispered.

Bella made a loud ‘Phew’ sound that Lillian immediately, sternly, shushed amidst the various snoring in the house. Bella stretched to get up, “You were taking forever, what time is it?” she yawned.

Lillian tugged her phone out, light briefly illuminating her face, “It’s 11:20.”

“Whoo! We just stayed past curfew at the rowdyruff boys house,” Bella cheered. Lillian winced.

“Go. The fuck. Home.” A dark voice muttered from Brick’s room. Both twins looked to his door.

“We should go.” Lillian whispered hurriedly, to her sister as she steered her out.

“But I wanted another bowl of that soup-”

“Come on,” Lillian said, pushing her out the door. She locked the bottom, even if it seemed futile to do so, out of respect for their privacy, and possibly to discourage her sister from trying to get back in.

---

okay- that's it. i'm done lmao

if you stuck around this long, thanks for reading!

oh and, for reference, if it matters, I have pictures of Lillian, and Bella but not Jenna so

Jenna is brown skin, I can't decide on her eye color atm but she has long dark auburn hair.

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

1D Monthly Fic Roundup

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for May 2021! Below the cut you’ll find 17 One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup.

New York Kiss by wordsnnotes / @quelsentiment

[Louis/Zayn, Mature, 47k, tumblr post]

“Also, in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m quite the narcissistic type, and I didn’t want that cute guy to have a bad opinion of me for the rest of his life.” “Who, me?” Zayn bats his lashes jokingly, ignoring the fact that his heart skipped a beat at Louis’ words. “Yeah, you. So, shall we go?” Louis drops what remains of his cigarette on the floor and steps on it to light it off. Meanwhile, Zayn makes a reckless decision. “Alright. Lead the way, De Niro.”

Or: A strangers to lovers AU where Louis is an actor, Zayn is a writer (among other things), and they meet each other literally by accident in NYC, just as the world is about to turn upside down.

I Love The Very Blood Of You by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10 

[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 129k, tumblr post]

“I don’t just like him …” Harry muttered, fiddling with the string at the waistband of his jogging bottoms that had definitely seen better days. “I love him, Zayn. I’m in love with Louis. With a vampire.”

He looked up just in time to see a small smile on Anne’s face, and she reached out with a hopeful look. Harry couldn’t resist, and put his large hand in hers, letting her comfort him for a moment.

“I could tell there was love between you,” she confessed softly, a light blush on her cheeks. “When I met you, I knew you were smitten with each other. I won’t pretend it doesn’t make me nervous, but … I can’t tell you who you can and can’t love, sweetheart.”

A vampire. A human. A broken arrangement. A love long since forbidden. Hunted by hate. Destined.

One More Taste of Your Lips by MsHydeStylinson @mizzhydes and @canadianlarrie

[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 80k, tumblr post]

It had been eight years since the hiatus began, and Louis had spent that time writing and recording music, touring and making it safely through the pandemic. When the opportunity arose to go back on tour with One Direction, Louis knew he'd be a fool not to take it. Sure, life on the road would be different after all this time apart, but he was looking forward to experiencing that comradery again.

What he hadn't realised was that living the better part of nine months in each other's pockets was bound to dredge up issues from his past. And when one of the pockets belonged to Harry, who he'd had a rather unconventional friendship with that drifted apart during their last tour, life on the road again would upend both their lives in irrevocable ways.

***

Harry wasn’t that sixteen year old boy anymore. Nor was he the young man in his late teens who was on the cusp of conquering the entire world.

But some traits seemed to remain the same; his vibrant green eyes, the dimples set deeply in his cheeks whenever he laughed earnestly, or his curls that were the same shade of cocoa that Louis remembered fondly.

And yet, Louis had absolutely no idea who this man that stood a mere twenty paces away was today.

take my hand, wreck my plans by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Harry/Louis, Teen & Up, 38k, tumblr post]

Louis meets the man in the center of the room, feeling every eye on him.

“Mr. H,” he whispers.

The man smiles brightly and laughs as if he can’t believe his eyes. “It’s you,” he says breathlessly. “I didn’t think I would see you again.”

“Nor I you, especially under these circumstances.”

“Even so,” Mr H says, his eyes bouncing from Louis’ eyes to his lips. “Will you do me a great honor and join me in leading the first … um…”

“Dance?”

Mr. H laughs and nods. “Yes, that’s the one.”

Louis bites his lips and doesn’t hesitate before whispering, “Yes.”

Mr. H beams and reaches for Louis’ hand. Sparks fly at the touch and a zing of excitement shoots through Louis’ body. His face heats up as he’s afraid his scent would give away his feelings towards the other man.

Winter Light by wordsnnotes / @quelsentiment

[Liam/Zayn (Liam & Louis, Harry/Louis), Teen & Up, 58k, tumblr post]

“Do you think this place is dead?” he suddenly asked, his eyes focused on one of the two oaks, whose bark was grey and trunk cracked. 

“What do you mean?” Zayn inquired, joining him by the tree. 

“Well, it’s winter now, so obviously everything looks dead anyway,” Liam said. “But do you think come spring, this place might look like the way it looked before?” 

Zayn took his time to think about Liam’s question. “I think all things are salvageable,” he eventually answered. “Including this garden. You just have to try hard enough.”

After his mother’s death, Liam is sent to live at his estranged uncle’s manor in the North of England, where new friends, mysterious places and family secrets await him. A Secret Garden inspired Soulmate AU

Cake and Kiss by @loulovehome

[Harry/Louis, General, 2k, tumblr post]

The one where omega Harry didn't like cake and wants to throw up when his alpha kisses him.

Love After the End of the World by writing_practice / @mercurial-madhouse

[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 150k, tumblr post]

“Wait. Just so I’m clear in me fucking noggin,” Niall says. “An international worldwide takeover is well under way and the only thing standing between having hot showers and a second end of the world is us five fuckers?”

-----

Society shattered when all electricity suddenly cut off across the globe, plunging the world into darkness. Now, Prometheus Industries is the sole remaining supply of power, a saving grace to those who survived Lights Out. As fugitives in no-man’s land struggling to break into Prometheus HQ, death lurks around every corner for Louis and Zayn. Things get complicated when a routine recon falls apart and Louis collides with Harry and his mates Niall and Liam, survivors with their own agenda.

When staying alive is already a constant battle, the deadliest weakness is to be in love. For Harry and Louis, finding each other sits on top of the endless list of What Else Could Go Wrong.

Hometown by @allwaswell16

[Louis/Harry, Not Rated, 2k, tumblr post]

On the day Harry gets his driver’s licence, he drives through the suburbs, heartbroken that he can’t drive home to Louis.

Baby Blues by @kingsofeverything

[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 12K, tumblr post]

8 mpreg Harry snippets originally posted on Tumblr. Mostly smut ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But If This Ends by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense

[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 107k, tumblr post]

Harry’s life as a vampire is routine. He spends his years moving around from place to place, learning as much as he can, and falling in love whenever the universe sees fit. When he tries to move his casual relationship with Louis to something more, it all gets turned on its head. As they navigate confusing thoughts and complex emotions, Harry finds himself torn between the love he feels for Louis and everything he thought he knew.

Featuring pet names, love letters, secrets, meaningful friendships, and two insecure boys desperately in love.

Pretty in Pink by lovelarry / @chloehl10

[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 18k, tumblr post]

“Love? Can I come in?”

Harry sniffed and shook his head before he realised Louis couldn’t see him. “No. Go home, Lou. Please.”

“I’m not leaving,” the Omega insisted, his voice full of concern. “And I’m not judging either. Just… talk to me, Haz.”

Harry briefly considered changing or at least ripping everything off and greeting Louis in his boxers before he realised that might actually be worse, that Louis had seen him dressed up and there was no need to hide anymore. He meekly shuffled over to the door and pulled it open before he backed away, refusing to meet Louis’ eyes.

To the Omega’s credit, he walked straight over to Harry and wrapped his arms around him from behind, resting his cheek between Harry’s shoulder blades.

“This top feels nice. Soft. I see why you like it,” Louis said quietly from behind him.

*****

Alpha Harry loves to secretly dress up and be pretty. He loves his feminine side, even if it’s not typical of an Alpha. But when Omega Louis finds out, it might just the start of something even more beautiful for them both...

Plant New Seeds In The Melody by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers

[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 58k, tumblr post]

After losing his husband in a tragic car accident, the last thing Louis needs is to keep running into popstar Harry Styles, who David was quite fond of.

Obviously, that’s exactly what keeps happening.

But as their unlikely friendship blossoms, Louis realizes that, maybe, having Harry in his life was the only good thing that came out of his adverse circumstances. Harry could be just the right person to help Louis find trust and intimacy in someone new.

We are the same, you run in my veins by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers

[Louis/Harry, General, 4k, tumblr post]

When the time for Louis to become the Alpha leader of his pack comes, he can’t rise to the occasion for not being yet bonded. A series of trips to neighbouring packs in search of his soulmate is fruitless until he meets one of the other packs’ Alpha heir.

Harry.

The world seems to stop turning for a second and then it shifts, clicking into its axis. All the distress and wrongness he felt until that very moment suddenly disappears. Louis is finally whole.

But two Alpha leaders from different tribes soulbonding is something unheard of before.

evergreen, evermore by docklands / @hershelsue​

[Louis/Harry, General, 2k, tumblr post]

The year is 1979. Their entire lives, Harry and Louis have lived in Chichester, home to the best watermelons in the world. An unruffled life in the country has always served their long term friendship well. It all shifts when Harry has to move away to a bigger city due to his mother’s job, albeit his love for his hometown and for Louis. It’s even harsher when the moving truck leaves on his birthday, of all days. When all seems lost, Louis ends up having to pull some strings to ease the pain in Harry’s heart.

When The High's Too High, and the Low's Too Low by DaysLikeMasquerades

[Louis/Harry, Mature, 22k+ (wip)]

Two perspectives of growing up neurodivergent

Some days Harry wondered if he would ever find a friend who could look past all the things he couldn't change. Someone who didn't care that he could spend hours talking about his latest fascination without calling him obsessed. Who didn't laugh when he couldn't stop his hands from expressing his emotions. Who didn't care that he was 13, but he'd start crying if he went into too many stores, because they were too bright, too loud, too smelly, and it was all just too overwhelming. Some days he thought someone like that just didn't exist.

Most nights Louis wondered if there would ever come a time when he didn't hate himself. When he would learn to control his emotions and the mood swings that seemed to take over everything and leave no room for himself. He wondered how he could live with himself when he only seemed to hurt the people he loved. His teachers thought he was a wonderful boy, but he knew the truth. Most nights he cried himself into exhaustion wondering how it was possible to feel so broken at only 15. He wanted to be happy, but he didn't know how and that scared him more than anything. Most nights he just hoped he could figure it out before it was too late.

Make You Never Wanna Leave (so Don’t) by @beelou​ / cherrylarry

[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 3k, tumblr post]

“You look hot in plaid.” “What?” “I said you look like a dad.” “No, you didn't.” “Yes, I certainly did, Harold. You have no proof.” -- Or, the one where Harry wears plaid.

a little tenderness by @disgruntledkittenface

[Harry/Niall, ​Not rated, 10k, tumblr post]

“Listen, my alpha and I broke up and it turns out that all of our friends were really his friends and I need someone to help me through–”

“No,” Harry practically shouts, the word bursting out of him unbidden. He cringes when he sees the shock on Niall’s face, his pale skin flushing lightly. “I’m sorry, but my answer has to be no. I don’t help omegas through heats. I’m really sorry, Liam knows that, so I don’t know why he would give you the idea–”

“It’s not heat, Harry,” Niall interrupts. “It’s depri.”

“Oh. Fuck.”

Touch deprivation makes a lot of sense now that Harry thinks about it. Niall seems generally unwell; he appears to be weak, his skin is pallid and his lips look chapped, and his breathing is ragged. He’s wearing a cozy-looking sweatshirt, but even over FaceTime, he kind of seems cold, hunched over with his arms wrapped around his body. Harry’s never been around an omega in depri as bad off as Niall looks; most of the time, there’s an alpha friend or family member who can help out with scenting and physical contact.

Oh.

[bombshellbois]

Bait

@harringroveweekoflove

Harringrove Week of Love Day 2: Mythological Creature AU

Rating: T

Words: 1641

Summary: Steve is barely paid enough to scoop ice cream under the hot sun at the Hawkins Aquarium. He's definitely not paid enough to deal with their asshole of a science project.

Steve is used to Dr. Owens showing up at his job by now. The Scoops Ahoy stand at the Hawkins Aquarium sees most of the science staff at some point because Indiana summers are fucking hot and a 15% employee discount is a 15% employee discount. Dr. Owens doesn’t come for the ice cream, though. He comes to ruin Steve’s day, usually carrying a bucket of raw fish for the... secondary duties Steve has now. 

There is no bucket today. There’s a black eye, a busted lip, and a ruined wetsuit under a Hawkins Aquarium windbreaker, but no bucket. The signs of carnage are not uncommon either. 

“Harrington.”

“Still think having a mermaid in an aquarium is a good idea?” Steve asks, glancing at him briefly before he goes back to wiping down the stand’s serving counter. 

“I didn’t ask your opinion,” Owens says shortly. Talking splits his lip back open.

“But you want something from me.”

“You’re on the clock, aren’t you?”

Steve could argue, and sometimes he has, that he’s on Scoops Ahoy’s clock, not Owens’. Not even the aquarium’s, technically. And he’s being paid 3 bucks an hour to sling ice cream, not deal with the world’s first known mermaid. But Owens seems to be having a tough day, so he lets it go. 

“Fine. Robin will be back from her break in 5 minutes. What do you need?”

***

Once Robin is firmly in charge of the ice cream scoop, Steve heads to the giant laboratory at the back of the aquarium. The heavy door buzzes open as soon as whoever watches the cameras sees him coming. Yeah, they all know him here, the asshole in the sailor uniform who’s Owens’ bitch.

‘We need to clean the tank,’ Owens had said. Which meant they needed to empty the tank first. 

Billy wasn’t having any of that, apparently. 

Steve sighs as he climbs the industrial staircase up to the top of the massive 2-story tank. There’s a lot of humming in his ears from the giant industrial filter and all the equipment in the room. He can’t hear shit inside the tank, but he doesn’t need to. A cursory glance over his shoulder confirms that, yep, as per usual, he’s got a mermaid following behind him. Probably staring at his ass. 

Billy pops up at the top of the tank, folding his arms on the rim of it as Steve reaches the top of the stairs. He shakes his head of wet, blond curls out, and grins when water splatters all over Steve’s blue work uniform. Steve has no idea where a mermaid learned to be such an asshole. 

“Hey, pretty boy,” he says, running his tongue over his sharp teeth. Steve doesn’t know where he learned that either. 

“Why are you roughing up Owens?” Steve asks, crouching on the platform along the lip of the tank, bringing himself down to Billy’s height. “You always bitch that your tank isn’t clean enough.”

“It’s not. Because it’s a fucking tank and not an ocean.” Billy flashes him a grin that shows off his teeth, like rows of pins. “What can I say? They don’t handle the merchandise correctly.”

Steve gives Billy a critical once-over. He’s all muscle, from the sturdy human trunk to the thick red tail that Steve has seen him use to break ribs. “Too delicate for Owens’ handling? That’s what you’re sticking with?”

Billy scrunches his nose, and that’s all the warning Steve gets. The giant fan of his tail fin pops out of the water and slaps down on the surface, hard. It sprays Steve with more cold water that definitely, definitely needs that cleaning. He coughs and splutters, fumbling for his hat when it falls. Billy makes a grab for it, but Steve manages to slap his hand away. This time. Billy already has two of these stashed somewhere in his tank, and Steve’s boss is going to start charging him if he keeps losing them. Even if it’s aquarium property that’s stealing them.

“Were you saying something there, princess?”

“Asshole.” Steve drops his weight back and sits on his butt. “What’s got your mer-panties in a wad? Seriously.”

Billy’s tail fin slides back under the water and he shrugs. “Where’ve you been? You haven’t come to see me.”

Ah. That’s probably it. “Missed me?” 

That earns him a dramatic rolling of eyes as if Billy has ever heard of anything so absurd. As if he hasn’t just roughed up a man in his fifties to get Steve to come to his tank. As if Steve is somehow the unreasonable one here.

“It’s okay if you did.” 

“We don’t feel shit like that. Merfolk aren’t pussies.”

Steve is pretty sure that’s a lie. According to Owens, mermaids might have a very complex system of interpersonal relationships, which may or may not include bonding the way humans do, blah blah blah. From what Steve can tell, Billy’s pretty human in respect to how his emotions work. He’s just a typical guy about them, meaning he doesn’t want to talk about them or acknowledge that they exist. 

He really hates that he’s the emotionally mature one here. That is not a thing that should be happening in Steve’s life right now. Robin has already confirmed for him that if emotions were a car, he wouldn’t even have a learner’s permit. He’d still be on roller skates. It’s a sound analogy, and it’s comforting because it confirms what Steve pretty much already knew. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t come to see you,” he says because it’s just faster. Pointing out that he’s not allowed inside this place unless Owens has requested his help won’t end well. Steve is pretty sure that’ll make Billy  just dig in his proverbial heels every time he wants to see Steve. That’s kind of sweet, in a Billy sort of way, but Steve doesn’t want to suddenly find himself working six days a week and on-call for Sundays even though the aquarium is closed. Easier to just take the blame. 

Billy huffs a breath out through his nose. “You’re just being nice so I’ll let them clean the tank.”

“And you were only an asshole to Owens so I’d show up and be nice to you,” Steve points out. He’s learned not to let Billy’s bullshit slide. He might be some majestic legend of the sea, but he’s also an asshole. And an opportunist. 

Billy breaks out into a grin, doing that Thing with his tongue again. “You got me.”

“So. Will you let them clean the tank?” Steve asks. “I’ll bring you your lunch in the holding tank and tell you about the bullshit new ice cream flavor they’re making us push.”

Billy looks up and off to one side as if he’s considering it. “Hm... sure.”

That was relatively easy. Small mercies. “Awesome,” Steve says, getting to his feet, sneakers squeaking on the wet platform. “I’ll tell Owens to get that hammock thing th—“

“But only if you carry me.”

Steve stares down at him. Billy just gives him a shit-eating grin, popping his tail fin back up and swaying it in what Steve swears is a taunt. Not that he knows anything about mermaid body language but that... that’s taunting right there. 

“No.”

“Then I’m not leaving my tank.”

“Billy.”

“Steve.”

Steve flails helplessly, gesturing to include all of Billy. “Dude. You’re over 200 lbs.”

Billy fakes an affronted look and pats his sculpted abdomen. “Hey. I’ve been watching my figure.”

“Your tail is the size of a person.”

“Only a small-to-medium size person.”

“I am not hauling your slimy ass down two flights of stairs.” Steve is not paid enough for this bullshit to begin with, but this is a whole new level of paid that he’s not getting. 

“Excuse you, I am not slimy!” Billy strikes the water again with his tail on a hard angle, sending a small wave of water crashing over Steve. Then he shoves back from the side of the tank and starts to submerge. 

“No, no, no!” Steve coughs and wipes the water from his face, crouching back down. “Okay. Okay, you win, I’ll carry you.”

Billy pauses and raises an eyebrow. “...And?”

“And... you’re not slimy.” Steve has no idea if that’s true or not because he doesn’t usually have to haul Billy’s entire ass around. But apparently, he’s about to find out. 

***

Getting down two flights of industrial stairs with a mermaid whose tail is the size of Steve when the whole thing is out of the water is... interesting. In a lot of bad ways. Steve’s arms feel like they might rip out of his sockets after the first  five steps because Billy is well over 200 lbs of muscle and fucking fish scales and maybe he’s not slimy but he’s definitely slippery. And then he has to get up a half flight of stairs to get Billy to the smaller holding tank. 

Billy thinks the whole thing is hilarious, and also steals his hat in the process. 

The only satisfaction Steve gets is dropping Billy’s heavy mer-ass into the holding tank completely without ceremony. Which, as he should have remembered, does the same thing as dropping any other large, heavy object into the water. Steve gets soaked for a third time today when the wave it creates crashes over him, but at least this one doesn’t reek. And maybe it even gets some of the fish smell out of his uniform. 

Billy pops back up from the water, laughing his ass off. “Good thing you look good wet, pretty boy,” he says, leaning on the side of his tank. “Now I believe you said something about lunch?” He snaps his fingers twice. “Chop, chop, I’m starving.”

Mermaids are assholes and Steve is absolutely not paid enough to deal with them.

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 68: December

Hey guys, welcome back.  As you can tell by the title, we have a very special rant in store.  As you guys may know, this rant series is meant to be about me catching up with BCB and where it’s been going recently, and give my thoughts about it.  But today we are going to be doing something a little different, instead we are going to go back.  And I mean WAY back.  To one of if not the most notorious, the most infamous chapter in all of Bittersweet Candy Bowl.  That’s right boys and girls…

WARNING: Very long Tumblr breaking rant below the break.

If you’re wondering why I’m doing this, it’s mostly because I wanted to do another Let’s Rant video but most of the boys don’t know about BCB.  So when I made comparisons to December, they didn’t really understand what I was talking about.  And I know that some of you new viewers may not understand why people hate December as much as we do.  To really understand, you must put yourself in the shoes of a dedicated reader.  Back to the year of 2011, a simpler time.  A dark time.  And we start off with one of my personal favorite pages in Bittersweet Candy Bowl.

SNOW.  FUCKING SNOW!

FUCK. YEEEAAAAAAAH! LET’S HEAR IT FOR FUCKING SNNNNNNOOOOOWWWWWWWW!

Alright that may seem like an over reaction, but let me set the stage for you alright, because at the time that this chapter came out I was a dedicated reader.  And I mean full blown fan, waiting for the hour to change to read the pages as they came out.  And at this time, Taeshi was going through a real rough time and it was quite apparent to everyone who was in the community.  The plot seemed to stagnate, and there wasn’t much happening.  Taeshi’s behavior had grown very strained and it was the common consensus that she needed to take a break.  

So she did, and in order to take a break the upload schedule turned to two pages a week… The problem was that up to this point, Bittersweet Candy Bowl was uploading on an every other day upload schedule.  Now the problem that comes when you slow down your schedule like that, is that it’s meant to be temporary, or that you compensate that with content in the pages and chapter that makes the wait more bearable or at least less tedious…

Now with all that in mind. Imagine if you will, that you had to wait 4 days for a new page to start a new chapter, and you were greeted by…

FUCKING SNOW! And a dread filled your heart as you realized you’d have to stare at snow for another full 2 days before you could look at something else, and hope that it’s more interesting than fucking. Snow.

The next page does not disappoint though, because now we actually have characters! And dialogue!

And look a joke, haha! Except

Look at all the characters in this page.  You got Daisy, you got Paulo, you got abbey, you got David, you got sir Noodles, and you got a reinforcing action to remind us about how Abbey and Paulo’s relationship is.

Guess how how many or which of these characters actually matter in this chapter or have an effect on it. Can you guess?

Yup, yeah that’s right none of em.  Not a single fucking one of these characters matter.  Not a single fucking thing in this page fucking matters at all, it barely even constitutes as a set up for the rest of the chapter.  Congratulations, we just wasted a week of your time. Actually I was wrong, you know what the one and only thing that this page does that means anything?

There! That one fucking line.  You waited a whole fucking week to digest two pages and all it really tells you that you didn’t know is what FUCKING TIME IT IS! EXCEPT EVEN THAT IS TOLD TO YOU

BY THE TITLE OF THE FUCKING CHAPTER! I am losing my shit this early because I want to make it abundantly clear just how infuriating this chapter was to read.  This was when I realized we were in for a LONG ride.  To better understand this, the chapters that preceded this one were centered around Lucy’s slow decline into depression, after her friendship with Mike had become fractured leading to her isolating (or at least distancing herself) from Mike (and the rest of the gang by proxy). This chapter was billed to be the culmination of all that fallout, which makes this pacing SO GRATING.

Thankfully page 3 actually does have characters that matter, and it actually is a set up for what the chapter is going to be centered around which is the kids working on a World War 2 Essay.  

And we finally get a bit of substance to sink our teeth into! But before we go any further I should tell you a bit about my. Man. Mike. So Mike is a moody bitch.  I talked a bit about what happened to Lucy, but Mike despite literally NOTHING happening to him directly since then aside from the rest of the gang not understanding why he wanted to separate from Lucy is still being moody and bitchy.  And here we see him reach PEAK MOODY MIKE!

Haha that’s an actually good joke.  I appreciated that when it came out.  

And so, because Mike is being a moody bitch he ends up sealing his fate and is paired with Lucy. And for a second here, I had hope. Since Taeshi is pretty much declaring how frustrating and stupid Mike’s moodiness has been for the past number of chapters.  Also while we’re here, I’d like to point out how everyone in this page apparently got their arm lopped off.  I mean look!

At least Lucy was able to find her right arm at the end there.  But also, look at Abbey!

Oh look at him, you can see how he cares about Mike’s position on distancing from Lucy!  Awww such a good friend.  Oh he’s definitely not going to make a heel turn and accuse others of not caring about Mike!

I am so glad I saved that image.

Anyway the next page is Mike and Lucy deciding to go to the library to work on the essay.

And then the page after that is Lucy trying to make an effort to ease the awkwardness, while Mike gives her the cold shoulder. Congratulations.  We have spent a week, walking to the fucking library.

The monotony is broken up though, as we get to see that Augustus is at this library.

It doesn’t stop the back and forth that we just got in the last two pages from continuing though, and as a reminder this is all that we’ve been given to sustain ourselves for three whole weeks!

At least Augustus is able to break up this feet-dragging by giving us SOMETHING different to talk about.

Ooh look, something actually interesting! We get some insight into Lucy and Augustus’ relationship. For context, Augustus has been a very interesting side-character; one of the best.  And his relationship with Lucy is a pretty nice one with its own complexities and great chemistry.  As I’ve mentioned before, Lucy had spent the last few chapters isolating herself from Mike to try to let things cool off and respect his wishes.  In that time, she ended up finding company in Augustus, the resident bad boy.  He was suspected of attempted rape on Daisy, but we’re not talking about that.

Well maybe a little.

Lucy expresses what she’s dealing with and like before, she’s trying to find understanding from Augustus.

And he is having NONE OF IT! As someone who actually has serious problems, he calls Lucy out for being a privileged blue-eyed white cat whose only problem in life is being rejected by someone she loves.  

But Augustus does give Lucy some advice, in how he sees and deals with his situation.  Showing that while he does think Lucy is stupid for even thinking about killing herself over Mike, he does want to help her.  It’s just…

He’s wrong.  He’s so fucking wrong.

We now know through the power of hindsight, that Abbey and Daisy’s relationship was a total sham! It wasn’t a healthy loving relationship at all! It was all a lie!

GOTTA LOVE THEM RETCONS AMIRITE?!

Nah we haven’t even STARTED to begin.

Anyway, Augustus leaves and we’re back to this bullshit.  Now Mike’s not just being moody, he’s being judgy!

Oh no, fuck you Lucy! I don’t want anything to do with you, I want you to be out of my life!

Hey, what are you doing, talking and having a conversation with someone I don’t care about?  Stop being such a leech! Just because I don’t want you to be in my life, doesn’t mean you can just go and move on to find company in other people!  Why don’t you just die alone and unloved like I tell you to?!

But don’t worry right after, Lucy breaks the ice and gets a smile out of the boy!

It’s a breath of fresh air, and we see the dynamic with the two is still there and-

No, I didn’t buy that when this page came out either. It’s meant to portray that Lucy can make Mike feel better and break him out of his funk, but…yeah at this point I knew better. By the way, it has now been one whole month of December.

And we’re only a third of the way through.

And thankfully we’re out of the library.  And even more fortunately…

Taeshi learned that you don’t have to spend two whole updates on moving your characters from one location to the other!  She’s learned you can smash two pages together and NOT WASTE YOUR AUDIENCE’S FUCKING TIME!

As for the actual content of this page, Lucy and Mike go to Mike’s house and we get a bit of Lucy interacting with Mike’s family, and how they get along well.  Mike’s still moody as ever though, and we get our first glimpse that things aren’t perfect for him.  Also

RIP the boy, Chris. he ain’t dead but I do miss him.

Anyway, the two go to Mike’s room to study, and it’s still awkward until Lucy breaks the silence!

Old joke is old, but I love it nonetheless.

Okay, enough foolin’ around. Actually Lucy decides that she’s tired of pussyfooting around, and decides to say, “fuck it” and let off some steam by playing some video games like old times!

Mike is of course denying it and content in stewing in his anger. But lucy is adamant about doing something to break this stupid cycle of drama.  I like it.  Even though I didn’t buy the bit of Lucy making Mike laugh by showing a funny face, this one I do like.  And while some (especially at the time) would point to this as an example of Lucy emotionally manipulating Mike to get what she wants in making him not angry at her, I would say-

SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME HAVE THIS ONE, JUST THIS ONCE!  I HAVE BEEN SO GOD DAMN CONTENT STARVED, THIS FUCKING DRAMA HAS BEEN GOING AROUND IN CIRCLES FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS!  MIKE AND LUCY HAVEN’T TALKED OR ADVANCED THEIR POSITIONS IN MONTHS! LET ME EMBRACE THIS ONE LIGHT IN DARKNESS BEFORE IT IS SNUFFED OUT!  LET. ME. HAVE. HOPE.

THANK YOU!

And so after a bit of a timelapse we get to see Mike and Lucy playing together, and how the turns tabled!

It’s great, and we even get a glimpse at how Lucy has been progressing herself.  Perhaps the improvement in gaming being a metaphor of her own self-improvement.

We even get a bit of Mike reflecting and thinking how it is nice.  And remembering that Lucy isn’t really that bad.

The scene continues, and we get a peek into Mike’s circumstance.  As Mike kind of reveals that he himself has felt quite alone without Lucy there.  And it’s really touching, it’s good character development.

And Lucy continues to take initiative to stop the awkwardness, by giving Mike a distraction. Not looking to fill the hole in his heart, not looking to force him to accept her.  But allowing him to enjoy himself in the moment.  It’s nice.  It’s…

Really…nice…

Y’know…

It really was nice.

Ladies and gentlemen.

This is December.

[redacted due to Tumblr purposes.  insert the entire Mike yelling scene from January here]

One month.   That’s how long this scene lasted in real-time. Everyone who was a fan in 2011, everyone who had been so deeply invested in these characters watching them grow, interact, struggle, and suffer for years.  All of them could only watch for one entire month as Taeshi ripped their hearts out. People defended this scene when it came out.  There’s still people who defend this scene to this day, saying that Mike was right.  I wasn’t one of those people.  When this scene came out, I was shocked.  I couldn’t understand what was going on, but I knew it was wrong.  It was the first time I ever got into a discussion about BCB, because I just had to understand what the fuck was happening and why.  Why is this happening?  Why would Mike do this?  How is this possible?  And the only response I got, was that I just couldn’t understand.  And y’know…

They were right.  I didn’t understand.  I was never really abused as a child.  I never had bad friends, or was really bullied (except one time).  There was no way I could grasp what the fuck just happened.  Which felt so bizarre, because when this chapter came out…I was 15. I was the same age as these characters and I couldn’t fathom doing what Mike just did.  I couldn’t imagine any of my friends saying what Mike just said. And yet everyone else seemed to understand, to the point I thought that I was the weird one.   Did I just fucking win the social lottery or something and just not have any shitty friends?

Maybe so…But y’know after all these years, stewing and thinking about December which has haunted me as I’m sure it has, many other readers.  And after all this time, running it around my head, and arguing about it, I think I finally understand.  I get it…I finally get what Mike’s saying here.

That being said, no this scene is still bullshit.

Now let me tell you why.

First of all, look at this face.

Just look at this dopey doe-eyed cute cat right here, BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER SEE THAT AGAIN.

But just to recap, let’s start with the actual preamble to the bullshit.  Mike gets a text from Sandy which makes him revert back to his moody Mike self.  And I will say at least here, Mike is in character.  He’s been a bitch this whole chapter, and he’s just snapping back to it because he is reminded “Oh yeah, Sandy exists!” so he tells Lucy to beat it.

Lucy is understandably frustrated because we were seeming to finally get to a better place between these two characters.  And instead of Mike being upfront about what his problem is, he chooses to shutdown the conversation and act like there’s nothing.  Or to put it in another way…

So what exactly is causing Mike to revert to his moody mode?

Right, right, of course. It’s because Sandy’s coming!  And just to catch up those of us blessed enough to not remember…

This is Sandy.  Mike’s long time long-distance girlfriend and central conflict for BCB for the last…well for pretty much most of BCB at this point.  Mike loves her, bordering on the point of obsession.  To where most of his actions in BCB can be linked directly to Sandy.  We’ll get to that later, but this is all you really need to know right now.  Just briefly keep it in mind,

Lucy is surprisingly taking it in stride, or at least trying to be supportive of Mike and Sandy’s relationship.  Obviously it does hurt her, but she is trying to make the best of it.  Taking what Augustus had said to heart, in accepting Mike and Sandy’s relationship but still trying to be there for Mike.  Using that to grow and maybe be a stronger person.

But sadly…this is December.

And nothing is allowed to grow in December.

Well…yes.  Partly because we were literally told NINE PAGES AGO!

I believe this is what the kids call…gaslighting. But I prefer to call it

BULLSHIT!

But now we’re getting into it…

Let’s dig into the real hard bullshit of December.

You ready?

I’m ready.

Yes, right.  Lucy is a bitch who has absolutely nothing for Mike, and never acted like a friend, or god forbid did something selfless for Mike like oh I don’t know…

Risking her life to try to save you from drowning, when she herself couldn’t swim and knew it could very well lead to her death.

Or what about when she was almost raped, and put literally put herself between you and danger!

TWICE! Wait, what the hell? They changed Confrontation! She’s supposed to say…

Because before mike got pinned he was saying…

That was like an actually cool and bad ass line.  One of the best moments in BCB, why would you change it?  Why would you change it to something as soft as that? And I’m the guy who wrote a comic where the moral of the story is that you can solve everything through the power of friendship!

But I digress.  Was Lucy mean to Mike?  Yeah.  Did she pick on him a lot in the early chapters? Sure!  But here’s the thing that people seem to forget about those early volumes…

Mike was kind of a little shit back then!

Lucy often picked on Mike because he was doing something wrong like trying to treat her like Sandy.

And lest you forget, Mike was more than capable of doing the exact same things!

Yes Lucy picked on Mike, but Mike also gave shit to Lucy.  They both were active participants in giving shit to one another, but no it’s not bullying.  It’s giving someone shit for doing something stupid, to keep them grounded, it’s a form of support that helps to build someone up not just through violent means, but because you care enough to want them to stop being stupid.  And as the saying goes, “A good friend will hold you and support you to tell you everything will be okay no matter what. Your best friend, will kick you in the side and tell you to stop being a pussy and get over it.”

BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS FUCKING DO! THEY DON’T LIFT YOU UP! THEY MAKE YOU PICK YOURSELF UP! AND Y’KNOW WHY MIKE IS THINKING THIS WAY?  YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT THE FUCKING CHERRY ON TOP OF THIS BULLSHIT CAKE IS?!

Sandy…

Mother…Fucking…Sandy. Up to this point Sandy herself had little to no presence as a person in this story. I mean she had an effect on a lot of things, but as an actual character we never got to see much of her personality outside of one standalone chapter: To the Top which only served to give us a shallow and basic understanding of her character.  But even then, as far as actual personality, writing, hobbies, and chemistry we really didn’t get much at all as far as understanding who she is. The only things we knew for certain was that she’s in a long-term long-distance relationship with Mike. She’s a model.  She goes to school.  And she’s beautiful.  That’s it. But that in and of itself doesn’t make Sandy a bad character.  I mean for cryin’ out loud, two my favorite characters that I shoe-horn into all my projects are McCain and Carter.  And they’re the most one-note characters in this comic! No, the problem with Sandy isn’t that we don’t know anything about her.  It’s that despite us knowing nothing about her, Sandy has her fingerprints on almost every fucking conflict in Bittersweet Candy Bowl.  And worse, the only purpose she seems to have on the comic is INFLUENCING MIKE! Let me pull some examples…

Mike and Lucy go on an adventure into the city which fleshes out the inner problems in their relationship.

Because Sandy might be there.

Mike and Lucy are starting to act awkward with each other, and it’s making everyone take notice. Why?

Because Mike is delusional about Sandy.

In the chapter directly after that, Mike is now suddenly obnoxiously happy and giddy, why?

Because he finally got to talk with Sandy!

It’s Christmas time, and Tess is having a party and Mike’s coming, why?

BECAUSE OF FUCKING SANDY!

Mike rebuffs Daisy’s advances during the carnival date…why?

Because of Sandy!

Although, to be fair of course there WAS a lot of other things going on in that scene, primarily Daisy being REALLY pushy, and needy.  So it’s not JUST because of Sandy.  It was because we just weren’t ready for Slut Daisy. The Free Daisy.

Tess is organizing a group vacation trip to Acapulco!

And what’s this? Mike doesn’t want to go? Is it because he thinks Lucy is gonna go and he wants to separate himself from her? Is it because he’s finally woken up and decided to stand up for himself?!

NO YOU FUCKING IDIOT! IT’S BECAUSE OF MOTHER FUCKING SANDY! AND THE WORST PART OF IT ALL, IS THAT NONE OF THESE SCENES ARE EVER DIRECTLY BECAUSE OF SANDY’S ACTIONS AS A PERSON! IT’S LITERALLY JUST BECAUSE SHE EXISTS! YOU COULD MAKE UP ANYTHING ABOUT SANDY, AND SHE WOULD STILL HAVE THE SAME FUCKING IMPACT ON THE STORY THAT SHE HAS HAD UP TO THIS POINT! All that Sandy’s character has been used for is just a means of influencing Mike!

And that’s not a character…that’s a plot device.  

And nothing makes that point more clear…than this scene.

We get a scene where Mike is talking with Sandy, and he shows how over and over, Lucy’s jabs and abuses which were played for laughs in Volume 1 apparently were a super serious problem and we should’ve seen them as such.  Now as a reader, I didn’t buy that for a fucking second, for reasons I’ve already explained.  However, Sandy being on the other side of that long-distance relationship doesn’t fully understand the situation.  But still she’s very worried and concerned for Mike, which leads to this.

Sandy making Mike hate Lucy. Some have pointed out that this is actually a good scene.  Because here we get to see that Sandy at least cares about Mike.  Except that, if you strip away those tears, and all the bullshit.  What little characterization we get here, which is shit we already know in Sandy caring about Mike and Lucy’s relationship.  Is something we should already know.  She’s in a long-term long-distance relationship with Mike SHE FUCKING BETTER CARE ABOUT LUCY! The problem though, is like I said… Sandy isn’t treated like a fucking character.  She’s treated like a fucking plot device! If she were an actual character, we should’ve seen her actually have a back and forth with Mike.  The whole conversation about Lucy should’ve come up a LONG time ago.  Because if she were treated like an actual character with agency…

She would’ve already known this.  

You telling me that after how many phone calls, in the time that elapsed between these phone scenes Mike never actually told her about Lucy; the other biggest part of his life?!  Did Mike never tell her about the amount of times that Lucy almost died to save his life?  Or the amount of times he did the same for her?  No! Because that would bring character growth.  And we don’t want character growth.

We want to push this narrative! We want to implant these thoughts into Mike.  We want him to have  a victim complex so that he can do shit like THIS!

We want to push this plot point.  And Sandy is the vessel to drive it off the cliff. This is why I fucking hate December. Because worst of all THIS…

Is no longer Mike speaking. This is Sandy’s influence speaking. Now LITERALLY ALL THE FUCKING SHIT THAT MIKE PEDALLED ABOUT NOT WANTING TO BE LUCY’S BABY SITTER AND BULLSHIT, CAN NOW BE ATTRIBUTED TO SANDY INFLUENCING HOW MIKE SEES HIS OWN FRIENDSHIP! And since we don’t have a clear timeframe of where these calls were made, and when exactly Sandy got through to Mike, that means you could pick any time where Mike was being cold or distancing from Lucy and blame it on Sandy! Including…

This scene…

Lest you think characters were the only casualty of December’s nuclear blast, it took with it one of the most emotionally tense and moving chapters of Bittersweet Candy Bowl: A Distance Apart.  

I’ve already talked about this chapter in my rant on Golden Hour (aka December 2: homosexual boogaloo) so I’m not gonna get too into how the perspective of this chapter was changed because of December, but I will say that lines like the above now are specifically what’s tainted because of December.  No longer is this Mike realizing that Lucy isn’t who he thinks she is, or him realizing that their relationship is not a healthy one on his own. It’s because as he said himself!

It’s Sandy’s fault.  Because all she heard about Lucy was the negative, and now all Mike can see is the negative.  And this chapter is saying it’s all Sandy’s fault that Mike now has a victim complex and it’s totally fair for him to say what he’s about to say.  

WAIT! DID YOU JUST SAY…

JANUARY?!

Hah, nah I’m just fuckin’ with ya.  We’re trying to stay focused here, so I’m holding off on the January references. Don’t worry kids, you’re safe for now.

For now…

Let’s unpack this first, because believe it or not we still have a LOT of ground to cover. Specifically, let’s talk about Mike’s glorious plan to leave the table!

God it is taking a lot to not just paste panels from Daisy’s rant in January.  You people have no idea… But to summarize, this is fucking stupid at best and manipulative at worst.  What Mike is talking about, is selfishly pide-pipering their whole friend group (minus Tess because Tess doesn’t exist anymore) away from Lucy, and he’s betting all of that on the fact that he knows Daisy is still head over heels for him.  And what’s absolutely stupid about this fucking idea (which by the way seems to be premeditated so this can’t even be blamed on Sandy) is that if this was Mike’s plan all along.  And December didn’t happen, and he did this table move guess what? Sure.  Daisy follows Mike, Abbey and Paulo follow Daisy, and David follows Paulo…and then they invite Lucy, because in case you forgot SHE’S THEIR FRIEND TOO! (also I just noticed Mike completely forgot about Susan.  That’s kinda fucked up, dude.)

But not as fucked up as this!  Seriously, that’s a fucking low blow.  And so fucking judgy.  I guess we now know where Abbey learned to stoop so low while grand standing on his high horse! And yes I have heard the “muh hormones” and “they’re just KiDs!” excuses.  But none of that really explains…

WHY THE FUCK DOES MIKE CARE?!  DO YOU SERIOUSLY CARE IF LUCY (as you would put it) LEACHES OFF OF PAULO?  HE’S LIKE ONE OF THE TOP OFFENDERS FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY ABUSED YOU! THE MOTHERFUCKER SICCED A GAGGLE OF GIRLS TO BEAT UP ON YOU FOR BEING A “CHEATER”! Or are you worried because if Lucy clings to Paulo, then it ruins your fool-proof plan of going to another table since she’ll follow Paulo?  OH NO, WE’VE FOUND A HOLE IN YOUR INGENIOUS PLAN!  But speaking of worst offenders…

THIS. LINE.  THIS FUCKING LINE!  I don’t care who you are, I don’t care what the fuck you think.  YOU DO NOT COME BACK FROM SAYING THIS.  YOU CAN NOT FUCKING SAY THIS SHIT, AND THEN BE THE GOOD GUY! This is the point where I and many others realized Mike, was too far gone.  And yet SOME PEOPLE WILL STILL ARGUE ABOUT THIS SHIT!

Oh you don’t understand, Amazil! He is just a stupid 16 year old ball of emotions and hormones!  This has been building up THIS ENTIRE TIME! You even pointed out how Mike’s frustrations have been hinted at since the Vacation Arc! Obviously this has been hinted at for years! You’re just too ignorant to understand what Mike’s doing here! Of course he’s being overly cruel here, he feels backed into a corner, and is facing off against his abuser!

Now listen here, you may be right.  I can’t, I hope, and I am grateful that; I don’t fully understand how it feels to be abused for all my life.    But what I do know, is that NO ONE. Child, Teenager, or adult.  Would fucking stoop that fucking low, and think they have any business.  Any chance. Of coming back from that terribly burnt bridge. No one is that fucking ignorant!  WHEN YOU BURN A BRIDGE LIKE THAT, WHEN YOU GO THAT FAR, YOU BETTER FUCKING BE READY TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES!  AND MIKE AT THIS POINT, SHOULD KNOW VERY WELL WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES MAY INCLUDE!  AS THE PERSON WHO KNOWS LUCY MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE ABOUT LUCY, HE SHOULD BE FULLY FUCKING AWARE WHAT SHE IS GOING TO FUCKING DO WHEN TOLD THAT SHE IS A PARASITE AND THAT NO ONE FUCKING LOVES HER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT SHE WAS GOING TO FUCKING DO, MIKE?!

JESUS CHRIST, HE’S LITERALLY USING HER DEEPEST SECRETS AND HIDDEN INSECURITIES THAT ONLY HE KNOWS ABOUT AGAINST HER! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SUPPORT THIS SHIT?  AND FURTHERMORE, “Like I’m the only one who cares about you.” TO QUOTE YOU LITERALLY A PAGE AGO!

YOU FUCKING TOLD HER THAT NOBODY LOVES HER.  AND THAT SHE’S A FUCKING PARASITE!  HOW ARE YOU THIS FUCKING STUPID!  HOW CAN YOU STILL THINK THAT YOU’RE IN THE RIGHT?  HOW DO OTHER PEOPLE THINK YOU’RE IN THE RIGHT?  HOW CAN YOU STOOP SO FUCKING LOW, WHILE GRAND STANDING ON YOUR HIGH HORSE?!

Now, imagine if you will, after 2 whole months of reading December.  You sit there and you wonder what is going to happen now.  What is left to say?  What more is Mike going to do? I mean there’s no way this chapter can get any worse!  There’s NO WAY that Mike can be any more of an asshole.  It’s not possible!  And as if to get one last knife twist out of you.  To kill the last shred of hope you had, that maybe.  Just maybe this could be salvaged, and Mike can’t be worse… Taeshi does this.

….

Y’know, I once heard a story that someone actually killed themselves over BCB.

And I completely believe that.  Two whole months we spent, having to watch week after week as this character we cared about.  Rips apart the other character we’ve spent so much time learning about, growing with, understanding, and learning to love.  And how do you end this chapter?

Grindingly slow.   With Lucy throwing up, then eyeing Mike’s phone.

Followed by a nothing page where Mike’s happy.

Another nothing page where Mike goes to his room.

Dialogue that means nothing.

A whole fucking page of Lucy leaving.

MORE FUCKING SNOW

And one last lie.

And that, kids.  Is the chapter of December.  The most infamous chapter in all of Bittersweet Candy Bowl.  And I hope you’re starting to understand why that is the case.  Although, I’m sure a lot of you may have some contentions especially given the newer chapters that have come out.  I mean, I often compare bad or infuriating scenes to December. And many may wonder or feel like those chapters are worse than December.  I mean sure Mike ripping into Lucy is bad…

But what about the one-sided and almost carbon copy of December in Golden Hour?

Or what about Guest of Honor with it’s Abbey Smash?

And what about the second coming of the Carnival Chapter, with its DISGUSTING implications?

Or lest we all forget the wonderous return of Lucy herself, in Love Again!  All of these chapters are fucking terrible in their own right.  And it’s debatable how they ruin some characters worse than December.  But there’s one very important factor that is lost to us now, that makes December in my eyes worse than any other chapter that Taeshi has put out.  One singular thing makes December worse than anything Taeshi has come out with so far…  And what is that factor?

Why, it’s TIME my dear reader.  Time is what sets December apart from every other chapter.  Readers at the time had to spend three whole months waiting for this chapter to end.  We stared at each singular page for days, waiting hours on end, hoping that the next page would somehow be better, or give us an out.  Instead it got worse and worse and worse.  But what also sets it apart from all those other chapters I’ve mentioned is that, unlike Guest of Honor, Golden Hour, or Return to Carnival chapter; December was a very important moment in Bittersweet Candy Bowl. Not only because of how it changed the character, but because it is one of the only times in this fucking comic where the plot actually starts to develop.  And we finally get a clear conflict to grasp onto and focus on.  

In the chapters that came before December, the conflict of Mike and Lucy was just slowly getting worse and worse.  And for the most part it just seemed to stagnate, with Lucy trying to keep her distance from Mike, and Mike constantly giving Lucy the cold shoulder.  And everyone else having to deal with that.  December was meant to be (and it did succeed in becoming) a bombshell chapter.  A big revelation moment where things finally kick into high gear.  Like, “Oh man that was brutal!” “What’s gonna happen now? Sandy is coming!”  “Lucy just got fucking REKT!” “What is she gonna do?”  “Taeshi just dropped the biggest bomb on top of us, where is she gonna take us?  How are we going to follow up this momentum?!”

BY RELEASING ONE OF THE LONGEST.  MOST NEEDLESS CHAPTERS EVER!

FOURTY EIGHT FUCKING PAGES. ALMOST FOUR MONTHS DEDICATED TO A PLOT POINT THAT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE GIANT NUCLEAR BOMBSHELL THAT WAS JUST DROPPED ON US!  And it’s especially needless because the entire point of this chapter is to tell us that Abbey’s mom died.  Except that WE ALREADY THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD! Oh you mean this character who all we know about was that she in a terribly abusive marriage, who we have not heard from since Abbey was introduced into the comic, who was in such a terrible state that she left her son and daughter orphaned. You mean the person so fucked up, that the last time we saw them was on a fucking stretcher is…DEAD?!  SAY IT AIN’T SO! Y’know, it would’ve actually been more of a twist, and a lot more interesting if we found out ABBEY’S MOM WAS ACTUALLY ALIVE!  

INSTEAD OF BUILDING OFF THE FUCKING MOMENTUM THAT YOU JUST SET UP, WE GET STRUNG ALONG FOR FOURTY EIGHT FUCKING PAGES!  INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON LUCY, AND USING DECEMBER AS A LAUNCHING POINT TO DRIVE THE FUCKING PLOT, ALL OF THE MOMENTUM IS GROUND TO A FUCKING HALT IN SERVICE OF A PLOT POINT THAT ULTIMATELY DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER! And if you made it through that and was hoping, “okay NOW we can start to get into the actual plot! NOW we can focus on Lucy, and what the aftermath of December is!  Well…

Paulo tries to give a cake to Lucy, and he mostly fails, giving us

NOTHING!

Just beautiful! The one chapter where it would be okay to not give all the attention to Mike and Lucy’s relationship.  The one chapter where we could maybe get to see Sandy be a character!  Mike X Lucy is fucked, but maybe we can find comfort in Mike X Sandy!  Maybe we can have some sweet moments, and strengthen this central love triangle that we’ve been dancing around for all these years!  Maybe, just maybe, Sandy can be more than just a fucking plot device!

BUT NOPE! SHE’S JUST THERE TO BE USED SO THAT MIKE CAN REALIZE THAT HE WAS WRONG AND FEEL BAD, SO HE CAN TRY TO MAKE IT UP TO LUCY!  TOO BAD IT’S TOO LATE, SO IF YOU WERE LOOKING TO HAVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT EITHER FROM LUCY OR SANDY, I’M SORRY BUT YOU GET

TWO BIG HEAPING SERVINGS OF NOTHING!

AND IF YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE STARVING FOR CONTENT BEFORE,  BRACE YOURSELF FOR A ONE-PAGE CHAPTER THAT GIVES YOU

NOTHING!

AND I HOPE YOU FUCKING LIKE THAT ONE-PAGE BECAUSE YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO LOOK AT IT FOR

FOUR

WHOLE

MONTHS!

Although… to be fair, I think during that hiatus period Taeshi had guest comics and exclusive content to keep us occupied, but you get the point. As for the rest of the chapters…

Paulo breaks up with Jasmine in the most hackneyed fucking way possible, and we get a fake-out of Lucy’s suicide attempt.

We finally get the play chapter, and it teases us with the idea that Lucy and Mike are getting better except that no one falls for it because IT’S IN THE PLAY.  AND WE ALL KNOW THAT IT’S JUST AN ACT AND IT’S FUCKING…

And then Lucy finally attempts suicide and it’s all OFF-SCREEN! THEY KILLED OFF THE MAIN CHARACTER! THE ONE FUCKING BIT THAT WE WERE ALL LOOKING FORWARD TO, AND IT’S OFF-SCREEN!

Do you see what I mean now? December isn’t just a fucking chapter. It’s an arc.  The most teeth grindingly slow, and agonizing arc Taeshi ever made!  This is why December is and always will be the absolute fucking worst!  It’s like Taeshi knew what we wanted and refused to deliver! Instead being content with teasing the readers over and over for almost two years, with the prospect of seeing Lucy go through a depression arc. Instead, we’re focused on literally everyone else and all of Lucy’s inner turmoil, heartbreak, thoughts, and progressions are just hinted at and we’re just left in the dark.  We never got to see Lucy in her final moments.  What was she doing? What was she thinking?  Where was she?  How is she doing?  We wouldn’t get that information for

Nearly four years! And even then, IT WAS ALSO BULLSHIT!  December is like a nuclear warhead of a bombshell that was dropped on us, except instead of going off and blowing us away, sending us to the greater plains. It just leaked radiation everywhere and killed us from the inside slowly.   Its carbon footprint can be felt to this very day, we can’t get over December.  Because THE COMIC ITSELF CAN NOT GET OVER DECEMBER! People who wanted to see Lucy become a better person, to see her try to get better, get help, or do SOMETHING! Would never get that relief.  When I thought about December and how it treated its characters.  I felt sorry for all the people who had to read this, who felt for Lucy.  Who wanted to see her get better… I felt bad because I knew deep down that we were never going to get that story…

So I did it myself…

Don’t act surprised. You knew I was gonna go there.  I literally warned you!  There is no way in hell I’m gonna talk about December without bringing up the comic I literally made BECAUSE of December in: January.  And this time we’re looking at January as a whole.  Because now that you know WHY and WHAT I hate about December, you can start to see why January was made the way it was.  I feel the need to explain this, because January still gets a bad rap by people saying that it’s “hate-filled” which it’s not.  January is not a death threat  , nor is it meant to say “I’m better than you”, it’s not a love note to BCB, it’s a Get Well Soon card.  Not necessarily saying that I can do it better, but rather this is what you could’ve done.  Whether or not it’s better is up to you to decide.  And with that context, you can see why January was written the way it was. And it all starts with one simple change.

Instead of just outright removing December, the only thing I changed was that Mike didn’t get paired with Lucy and throw a fit.  It doesn’t spitefully act like December never happened, in fact…

December plays out the exact same way as it did in the canon, just with Susan supplementing for Lucy. So Sandy’s still coming home, Mike’s still pissed at Lucy, and he’s planning on moving to a new table to get away from her. But because Lucy’s not there…

She’s able to fucking do something.

We get to see her try.

We get to see her fail.

We see how Mike’s plan comes to fruition.

We see how things fall apart, even with Lucy’s best efforts.

We see how December still takes its toll.

We get to see her snap out of it, briefly.

We see her at her lowest point.

We see what she’s thinking and why she’s doing what she’s doing.

We see her try to figure out what to do.

We see her picking up the pieces.

We see her take action to improve herself.

We see her getting help.

We see her taking action.

We see her getting better.

We see everyone come together to support her.

We see her at the end of her journey, come to terms with what she’s done.  And wanting to improve not only herself, but her friendship with Mike. She shows maturity, empathy, and most importantly GROWTH as a character.

And in the end, the reader never gets to see how Mike and Lucy end up talking things out, but they can rest easy knowing that everything is going to be okay.  And if THAT’S hate-filled, I don’t know what the fuck you’d call the canon’s handling of Lucy in the December arc.    

The fact that we never got to see Lucy try.

The fact that the comic kept dicking us around, and baiting us with the inevitable.

The fact it KEPT FUCKING BAITING US WITH FALSE HOPE.

The fact we don’t get to even see her at the end of the line. The fact we had to wait three years for her to come back and let us know that she’s even ALIVE!

The fact that when she does comes back, SHE’S A HORRIBLE CUNTY SHELL OF THE PERSON SHE ONCE WAS…

That… is why December is the most infamous chapter in all of Bittersweet Candy Bowl.  Not just because of what it did.  But because of what it didn’t do.  Because it promised the end to Mike and Lucy’s drama one way or another. It promised us that we were going to tackle these issues that Mike brought up in Lucy, but yet… Here we are.

Back to square fucking one. You know what they say…Those who don’t know their history are doomed to repeat it. So you better brush up on your December knowledge, or at least I hope this rant serves as a good refresher. Cause from the looks of it, we’ve been repeating these plot points for almost 10 years…

Y’know I thought I was actually going crazy there for a second.  Obsessing and never getting over December for all these years. But now I see. This comic…never moved on from it. We’ve never recovered.  We’ve been stuck in December for almost 10 years…

0/10 never forget…

[prurientpuddlejumper]

Strangers [18+]

Toshinori x Female Reader

Did someone say “traumatize poor Toshi”? Hello, I am here to make All Might hate himself for losing control of his pent-up sexual urges. Feral sex and angst! Mmmm

Warning: Dub-con (sex pollen/”fuck-or-die” fic)

Summary: Your neighborhood gets blasted by a new quirk-based drug that makes you irresistibly, painfully, potentially lethally horny. Your libido won’t stop growing until you fuck someone - but you haven’t completely lost your mind! There’s no way you’re going to bone a friend. It has to be someone you don’t know so you never have to talk to them ever ever again. 

That blond scarecrow over there will do! 

6,264 words | NSFW

You never worried much about getting caught in a love dust attack. It wasn’t that hard to just not have sex with someone, no matter how horny you were.

It was all over the headlines for the past month. An unsolvable string of crimes with this stuff at the center. The media was calling it “love dust” because, well, it was dust, and you can’t say “orgy-riot fuck dust” on the evening news. Think of the children.

After the first attack, authorities thought they were looking for a villain with natural quirk, but a new synthetic drug soon surfaced as the culprit—a concentrated, fine-tuned derivation of a seduction quirk, sold under the street name “Hathor.” Anyone with the right underground connections could get their hands on it, and criminals were getting creative. Release it into the air at a bank, and the guards will open up the vault on the promise of a handjob. Assassinate a CEO and walk out the front door as the heroes sent to stop you turn into a quivering mess on the floor. There have already been a dozen scandals with big-name heroes caught sleeping with civilians at love dust crime scenes.

Kind of pathetic, honestly. Considering how important their reputations are, you’d think they could manage to keep their pants on. Have some self-control.

Although… The effects only last until you do the nasty, so maybe heroes should have a quickie with the nearest volunteer and get back on their feet before the criminals escape.

Or, you know, wear a damned mask.

Of course, it wasn’t as simple as that. There were physical symptoms, too. They say those who are unable to find anyone to “satisfy their urges” with experience increasingly severe libido, elevated heart rate, capillary damage, and all sorts of hormonal spikes that sometimes last days. One guy actually died of a heart attack. But you were young and healthy. It couldn’t be that bad.

If you don’t want to fuck someone, just don’t do it.

The night the dust rains down on your neighborhood, you finally understand.

You are sitting at the outdoor café in front of your apartment complex with a few friends when there is a loud pop, like an engine backfiring. The sky fills with a pink haze that glimmers with iridescence in the street lights. It’s beautiful. A few wiser residents scream, cover their faces, and run, but you watch the glittery powder in awe, not making the connection until you’ve breathed it in.

It has a cloyingly sweet scent, like cherry blossoms and bubble gum. Your throat tightens, and your mouth begins to water. A warm tingle spreads under your skin and you start to feel the urge to go home and watch porn.

There is a change in your companions, too. The conversation abruptly stops. Someone next to you moans, and it sends shivers racing straight down between your legs. Your thighs clench together trying to satisfy the growing need as you try not to moan yourself. Hot… it is getting so hot. Your breathing is starting to come out shamefully hard as your arousal rapidly builds, and suddenly watching porn doesn’t sound like nearly enough. You want to fuck someone—anyone, honestly.

Shit.

It finally hits you what you’ve been caught up in. And now you realize why this drug is so dangerous.

It’s the feeling of being on the cusp of an orgasm, where nothing feels more important, more urgent. Rational thought gives way to the singular focus on finishing. You’re so close, oh god… Your walls clench around the nothingness inside you. So empty. Fuck… you want to come, but you need to be filled. You need it.

You could resist the physical symptoms, but the problem you never accounted for is, you don’t want to resist.

All around the street, people are falling on each other, mouths smashing together in wet, sloppy, passion. Your next-door neighbor is dry humping the waitress at the café as she works to undo her uniform. The florist is already fucking a customer’s mouth. Their wet noises and grunting rise into a sexual cacophony that has your cunt dripping, aching. You need to find someone.

Your friend Ren grabs your arm, eyes heavily lidded, a crazed look in their eyes. “Do… you wanna?” they slur, voice thick with the same lust you are drunk on. Your cunt spasms painfully at the offer, and a throaty vibration rumbles deep within your chest. A primal part of you almost starts ripping off your clothes, but the small voice in your head that is still rational forces you to pull your arm out of their grasp. This isn’t right.

Not with a friend. Things would be too weird later. It can't be someone you know.

You mumble something that was meant to be words, and run from the table. Mei grabs Ren’s shoulder and their bodies instantly intertwine in a mess of limbs and sultry moans. She was just starting to get over them. That’ll be trouble tomorrow. That’s why it can’t be a friend—no ruined relationships or awkward next days for you!

The small rational voice says you should go back and pull Mei away—stop her—but if you did that, you’d definitely end up in a threesome. It's all you can do to keep your feet moving away. 

You need a stranger.

A spontaneous orgy breaks out around you, bodies tangled and undressing right in the road, cars honking at them, people stumbling out of cars and joining the fray. You pick your way through them. No, no, your inner voice scoffs. None of this is right. As much as you’re burning to be filled, none of this was right.

The musky smell of sex is overpowering. Your walls expand wide as if expecting to be filled, yawning open until the muscles burn, then crashing shut and clenching down hard against nothing. The contractions rock your body so hard it’s difficult to walk, and it isn’t long before the muscles start cramping with overexertion. 

Why didn’t you just join one of the writhing piles on the sidewalk? Your heart is beating out of your chest, and you’re deafened by all the blood pounding in your ears. Your eyes dart between faces and exposed body parts, frantically searching, but none of them click whatever primitive part of you is hunting for a mate. With every breath, it feels like you can’t get enough oxygen. You’re drowning.

A convulsing ache rips through your body again. It hurts. It hurts being so empty. What are you waiting for?

Something slips into the front of your pants and starts rubbing your clit—you realize it’s your own hand. It feels good, but doesn’t help. Rational voice reminds you that it won’t help. Skin-to-skin contact was a necessary condition of the quirk; something about pheromones or something? You stagger on, rubbing and fingering yourself, not even caring who sees, none of it bringing you over the edge of the climax that feels like it’s almost there—just a little more! Please!

You turn into the alleyway behind the apartment building. A short passage leading nowhere with a 90-degree crook that serves to hide unsightly utility boxes and storage containers for the complex. It’s quiet here, away from the chaos in the street. Except you hear it… breathing. Deep, half-stifled grunts of a man trying to keep quiet, labored breathing, and a soft, rhythmic slapping emanate from behind the corner.

Struggling toward the source, you see a tall yellow-haired man doubled over. He braces one hand on a metal box set against the wall with wires snaking out of it, while the other hand furiously works his cock. Slap. Slap. Slap. It’s glistening with precum, but his teeth are grit in distress at an orgasm that will never come.

A scarecrow of a man, he looks to be middle-aged, and has a face like a skeleton, with sunken cheeks and eyes lost in deep shadows—all bones and sinew. Definitely a stranger. You would’ve remembered a guy like that.

Something primal thrums within you. Blood surges red-hot in your veins. 

Him. 

He is perfect.

“Help!” you call out, voice shaky and fevered. 

He startles and tries to hide what he was doing, shoving his dick back under his waistband and crossing his legs before turning to you. As if everyone else on the entire block isn't doing the same thing. 

When he sees you, desire clouds his eyes. They’re a shocking vibrant blue, though watering with frustration, and they linger on you for what would have been an uncomfortable length of time under normal circumstances, but right now his overt desire is exactly what you hoped to see. 

Encouraged, you close the space between you, but he takes a quick step back, staying just out of your reach. At this distance, you realize “tall” was an understatement. He towers above you.

At your close proximity, his hips start rocking of their own accord, his cock striving for relief against the fabric of his pants. You are too close. You smell so good, he wants to devour you. He has to squeeze his legs together and bite his lip hard enough to draw blood to regain his composure.

“I... I can help you, young lady. E-everything will be fine... Are you hurt?” With every ounce of willpower in his narrow body, he forces his voice to sound normal and helpful, and not like he wants to tear all your clothes off. No damned pink dust is going to make him—

He doubles over not in pain, but arousal—a spasm pulsing through his frame—and has to fight to shove it down again. He bites his thin lower lip, but the gesture only makes him aware of the string of saliva dripping out.

“Yes, it hurts.” You’ve still got your hand between your legs and must look as much of a mess as he does. He can’t pretend not to know what you’re asking. “Please… help me,” you ask again, this time dropping your voice into a husky whisper. You lean into him, splaying your hands out on his chest, running them down the rippled bones and muscle beneath his white t-shirt. His hands place themselves instinctively around your hips.

“Do you have a boyfriend? A partner? I’ll h-help you find them.”

Would he really take you to someone you’d be more comfortable having sex with when he could have you for himself? It’s obvious how much he wants you—how much his body is screaming for you just like yours screams for his. 

You shake your head. “There’s no one else.”

“I… I can bring you to the hospital…” 

He trembles, his breathing is hard and fast, fanning in hot bursts across your neck. You get lost in the smell of him, the salty smell of his precum driving you wild. Your core twitches painfully again, but you’re so close to relief, you let yourself moan with it, and reach for the hard erection in his pants. The outline through the fabric is massive. Beyond massive. You shudder and stroke it greedily.

He draws in a sharp breath at the contact, and the warmth of him spreads out under your palm, spreading through your whole body. His muscles tense, still trying to fight it, but his cock pulses under your touch, betraying his desire.

“Let me feel it,” you beg, slipping your hand through the fly of the pants he was too distracted to zip back up. Your fingertips find it, hot and velvety, and hard as steel.

Even though he’s just as deep under the spell of the dust as you are, he manages to pull away again, another step back, trapping his back against the alley wall.  

“N-no, you don’t have to… to do this. I’ll take you to the hospital!” 

Not, I don’t want this, you note his phrasing. You don’t have to. How can he be flustered with this need overpowering his every sense? Your entire life is narrowed into a tunnel where all there is and all that matters is being fucked.

Without warning, he doubles over, coughing. Coughing up blood. A lot of it.

He wipes his mouth, grimacing, in obvious pain. A convulsion wracks his body, and he squeezes his thighs together, moaning.

You put your arms out—an honest, compassionate instinct to help him stay upright, but then you’re touching him again, and suddenly you’re pulling at his tall, scarecrow shoulders to bring his body close again. 

He’s so strained, blood trickling through grit teeth. Maybe coughing blood is a symptom of resisting the effects for too long. Your own lungs are starting to burn with such intense continual use. Why is he trying so hard to fight it? 

“Don’t want… a hospital. Just… fuck me. Please. I want you. So empty... it hurts. I need you to fill me… please,” you pant, desperate to convince him. To talk him out of his shy, moral rigidity.

He swallows, prominent Adam's apple bobbing in his thin neck. He's cute, too, a small, still-conscious voice says, though you barely notice through the pounding, driving urge between your legs. Your clit is so hot it burns, and your pussy is dripping, soaking through your panties so much it’s made a wet spot through your pants. You grind against his leg. It doesn’t give you any relief, but makes you want to fuck him even more desperately.

“I don’t want to take advantage of you...” He looks so sad, so protective when he says those words in his soft, deep voice. Then he cringes as another convulsion hits him, and his hips drive themselves into you as if acting on their own. He’s horrified. A wave of pleasure surges through you, leaving you a babbling mess.

You whimper, desperate for more. “I’m going to die if you don’t fuck me! Help me. I want it, I swear. I want you, please… please.” You're like an animal, mindlessly humping his thigh, grasping at his shirt. “I’ll find someone else if you won’t. Please, it’s the only way to make this stop!”

It’s too much. The urge was so strong even when he was alone, and your body is all over him, awakening things in him. 

You’re drugged! 

His cock won’t stop throbbing until it finds a warm body to fuck, and your pussy is grinding his thigh, inches away. Relief is so close. It’s unbearable. You’re so cute and helpless—

He shouldn’t!

—disheveled, begging for him to take you. You’re so lewd. It has been so long since he felt desirable, and here you are, begging like the sluttiest of his fans without even knowing who he is, without his power. Driving him wild. Every second like this is torture—his heart pounding so hard, his single lung can’t take it much longer. You want him… You want him as much as he wants you. Why was he refusing, again? All the reasons seem to fall away…

A dam within him breaks.

He lets out a long, shaking breath as if he had thrown open a valve shut off half a lifetime ago, and all the pressure repressed and denied was finally being released. He crumples around you, lanky arms closing around your back, his face burying into your neck with a sob. A line of teeth bite down on you hard enough to bruise. 

Your body responds, hips bucking into his, your nails digging into his back, as you scream out in pleasure and pain, “Yes!” 

He snarls into your skin, leaving a trail of bruises claiming the length of your neck.

“Fuck, I need this,” he growls between bites, sounding like a completely different person. Sounding starved. With the last pretense of control given up, he is a beast freed from its cage.

His hands slide under your shirt to roughly palm your breasts. You unclasp your bra, and he artlessly pushes it up out of the way, too hurried to remove it. 

“I want you so bad...” He kneads your breasts, pushing them together and rolling them apart, thumbs abusing your hard tits while his teeth sink into your shoulder. He is ravenous. 

Fuck, he feels so good. You can only helplessly cry out as your body spasms with warmth, pulses of electricity running down your back, your cunt dripping and clenching, but still so empty.

Your lips clash together, wet and eager, nearly missing his mouth as you part and smash together again, but you don’t care. His tongue sloppily reaches for yours, and you open for him eagerly, saliva mingling, his taste entering your mouth—coppery and sweet. This is right, your body tells you. He is just right.

Another torturous spasm rips through your body. This isn’t the time for foreplay. You already feel like someone has been eating you out for five days straight—it’s time to fuck him. You tug your pants and underwear down and let them hang around your calves, not bothering to take them all the way off. 

Now. You need him now. 

His cock is back out of his pants, slick with precum, and rubbing your entrance. It’s so huge, you wonder how it will ever fit inside you. You would never expect something with that much girth from a guy so narrow. How does he have enough blood to support this thing? 

Normally, you wouldn’t actually want a dick that big, but your sex-crazed brain starts drooling. You want to lick it from head to balls, to worship it. The size doesn’t intimidate you. All your muscles are loose and stretched and aching for something to fill them, and only his cock could fill you enough to satisfy this artificially-heightened need.

Rubbing the blunt, throbbing head over your opening, his intense eyes study the way your folds part and twitch around him, and the adorable way you struggle to open your legs wider with your ankles still shackled in your pants. 

“Look at you... fuck, you’re perfect.”

So small and cute. So breathless and needy and whining for him.

Before he pushes inside like every muscle in his body is urging him to do, he checks in with you one last time. His sharp blue eyes meet yours, and, sweating and trembling with the effort of holding back, he asks, “You’re sure?”

“Please!” you cry, voice cracking. You jerk your hips to help push the swollen head inside, gasping as you feel the pressure of it spreading your opening. 

He needs no more encouragement. 

Releasing control over his inflamed libido that took every ounce of his willpower to wrestle down, he thrusts sharply inside you. It knocks the air out of your lungs. A scream tears from your throat at the intense pleasure and discomfort of being finally, finally filled all at once by something so large. He grunts into your shoulder, large fingers digging into your skin as his body shudders and trembles. He pulls back out a little, and thrusts in again. 

You clutch at his shirt and his yellow hair, balling them in white-knuckled fists as you sob out, “Thank you. Th-thank you.” 

It’s almost too much pressure—almost. Your walls twitch and contract happily around the thick shaft. Satisfaction. This is what your body has been demanding. The pain stops, but the need urges you on stronger than ever.

It won’t let you go until you come.

After a few rough, choppy thrusts, he can’t get enough leverage standing facing you. He pulls out, and your entire body sets off alarm bells in protest, your hands clutch at him, trying to pull him back in. Empty! So empty! It hurts. The fevered look in his eye tells you he’s still as desperate for this as you are. Strong hands flip you around and bend you over the metal utility box, your ass in the air, presented to him.

“There you are,” he purrs.

He meant to enter you again right away, but the view triggers something voyeuristic in his brain. He grabs your whole pussy possessively, rubbing circles over your bare skin with his thumb, spreading your lips apart.

“Look at you. So beautiful.” His voice is thick and husky—drunk. His whole body shudders as you moan for him, pussy twitching around his thumb, hips writhing, whining for him to enter you. “You'll look so beautiful wrapped around my cock…”

Why is he looking at it? If you had any shame right now, you’d be dying of it, but your whole face is already flushed and sweating. Just put it in already!

A low chuckle. “Be patient.” Did you say that out loud? “Fuck, I want you… I need this,” he growls.

“Need it... need you…” you echo, drooling.

His warm chest leans over your back, soft bangs hanging down next to your cheek, his hot breath in your ear. “I deserve a reward, don’t I? Something for myself for once,” he murmurs, more to himself than to you, barely audible even with his lips so close. His cockhead rubs against your drenched slit without pushing inside, the pressure of it maddening, teasing.

His muscles tense suddenly, and you brace yourself against the cold steel surface, fingers curling as he penetrates you from behind and sets a relentless pace.

The aphrodisiac already had you dripping and ready, so you feel deliciously split open and stuffed, and not torn by the sudden invasion. The friction and pressure drive you insane, mewling and whimpering as you reach between your legs to stoke your clit. The heat that’s been building up and pooling between your legs without getting any closer to relief is building toward a crescendo now that he’s inside you.

“More,” you whine, even though you’re already past your limit, “Give me everything!”

He starts thrusting wildly, uncontrolled, eager to obey you. His movements are unrestrained and so fast—inhumanly fast. “So good, you feel so good,” he praises, words hitched and slurring. “Fuck, you’re so tight.” A moment of hesitation breaks through the fog, “Am I hurting you?”

“Don’t stop,” you snap, “don’t you dare slow down!”

His sharp hip bones collide with your ass, leaving bruises with every hard thrust, his balls swinging against you, slapping your fingers working your clit, as he frantically jackhammers into you. He’s completely feral, head thrown back, not holding back his strength as he hits you so deep and hard you could break, but it’s exactly what your body wants right now—to be animals.

“Harder!” you urge, trying to jerk your hips up to meet his thrusts, and spread your legs farther apart—but your efforts weren’t enough. However hard he's going, you want even more. Deeper. You want him to rip you in half. 

Obeying, his bony hands grip the soft fat of your thighs, yanking you down onto his cock as he thrusts into you. You yelp as he hits something deep and sensitive, and your muscles quiver and melt with gratitude.

It could be minutes or hours that he has been pumping into you with forceful abandon, turning you into a sweaty, quaking mess, sobbing into your arm for his frail body and powerful cock. You’ve lost all sense of time, all sense of sense—of anything besides the sinful friction and being stuffed full to bursting. You may as well be stray cats rutting in the alley. The dark echoes with the steady percussion of flesh smacking into flesh, and a harmony of your own whimpering cries melding into his hard, ragged breathing.

“Don’t stop! Don’t ever stop! It’s so good,” you sing out for him. It must be the effect of the drug, but you have never felt so complete.

He growls low in return, “Mine, you’re mine.”

His arms cross around your chest and he leans his body over you, pressing himself closer and closer to you as his thrusts hit you deeper and longer. Beads of sweat drip from his body, wetting your clothes and your neck. His strong hands serve the dual purpose of holding you firm against him and grasping your breasts, roughly pinching the hard peaks, twisting and pulling. 

The sensation is overwhelming—jolts of pleasure ripping through you, shooting through your spine, winding you tighter and driving you closer to the crest. Your fingers work your clit faster until he forces them away with his own hand, taking over, abusing your sex with long, calloused fingers with the same reckless abandon as his fucking you. His erratic breath is humid against your ear. Something breaks inside him, and he starts grunting loudly with every wild buck of his hips like an unhinged beast. Every forceful thrust throws your body forward, thighs striking the edge of the metal container.

“More,” you urge. “More!” You’re so close. 

The muscles of his lower abs twitch and contract against your ass, and he bites you hard on the shoulder, bearing down until it draws blood. He lets out a helpless, unrestrained noise that is almost a roar and almost a sob as he empties himself into you, filling you up with so much hot seed you can feel the pressure of it inside you, his release trapped tight against your cervix by the nudging head of his thick cock stuffed as deep as possible. 

His fingers circle powerfully over your clit, and it drives you over the edge after him. Your hips jerk, riding his cock as he comes down from his climax, walls clenching around him, milking every drop from his twitching, overstimulated cock.

“Thank you,” you mutter, breathless and slurring, cum dripping down your thigh. “Thank you…”

It's over.

It's over.

Like a veil being lifted, your brain function returns to normal. The fog of lust evaporates and you're back to rational, non-horny you.

What. The fuck. Are you doing?

Oh my god.

An alley. You're in some filthy alley with a total stranger and no condom. Fuck. What the fuck. You're going to have so many diseases.

Your “partner” pulls out, and a flood of semen gushes out from between your legs. Oh, god. How is there so much? Does this guy have some kind of disorder, or is it the love dust’s effect? Either way, it's gross, and starts to feel chilly as cool air hits it and it runs down your thigh.

Purse.

That's right, you have a purse. It's somehow, by pure luck, still attached to your body. You rummage through it, pushing aside keys, and—oh, look, a condom. You roll your eyes. Where—aha, there it is! You knew you had a little pack of tissues. You wad up a few sheets and catch the copious glob of cum before it can run all the way down your leg and sully your pants.

“Uhhh, here,” you offer tersely, really not looking forward to making eye contact now that you’re remembering your actions through the eyes of a sober person. So embarrassing! He probably thinks you’re a slut. Worse—what if he’s some weirdo who thinks you’re his girlfriend now?

You hold out a few tissues so he can clean his sticky red cock, still impressively large even as it softens and begins to droop downward.

Why are you looking at his dick stop looking at his dick!

He doesn’t seem to notice you peeking. 

He’s struggling to catch his breath, bangs stringy and clinging to his face and neck with sweat. More than that, he’s vacantly staring at his hands like they might not be his own. Like he hopes they’re not. His eyes snap to the source of movement, and he tentatively takes the tissues you’re holding out to him. The action brings him back to reality somewhat. He blushes and turns his back to you, and gets to work wiping himself off.

Good. He’s not trying to talk to you or anything. He’s embarrassed too. That’s good.

When you’re both dressed and as decent as you’re going to look (though it’s impossible to hide that just-been-ravished glow), you turn to him, lips pressed tightly together. 

“Well, that’s that, I guess. Um. Are there any STDs I should know about?”

He jolts out of the quiet stupor he was in, face growing redder at the implication. “Oh! N-no.”

“OK, good. Me neither. Though we should both get tested again anyway.”

It’s unclear whether he processed that, eyes unfocused, only giving a slight nod. “Oh! Oh god!” He lurches backward against the wall, remembering something even more devastating. “We didn't... I didn't use—”

“I’m on the pill. No babies.”

His shoulders relax by a few millimeters, at least that weight off of them, but he's far from relieved.

“Alright, well…” you back away, making finger guns out of nervous, idiotic reflex, eager for this embarrassing scenario to be over with and forgotten. “Thanks for helping me out with… a medical emergency, let’s call it. Hopefully we never see each other again, and never think about what happened today. Ever again!” Yup, that’s about that. “Bye.”

He nods weakly as you walk away. The adorably oversized Adam’s apple bobs in his skinny neck as if he’s trying to say something, but only a small, choked noise comes out. He’s still too dazed to give any other acknowledgment.

No contact. No reminders. You did what you had to do, and that’s it. He agrees that this is for the best, right? At least he will once he… processes what happened.

You sigh.

Pausing at the mouth of the alley, you chance a look back. He’s slowly sliding down the stained wall, and coming to rest on the ground with his head between his knees. He looks devastated.

He isn’t processing, is he?

This is your fault, you know. He was trying to avoid people until you found him in his little hiding place. How many times did he offer to take you to the hospital, to tell you that you didn’t have to have sex with him? You could have fucked anyone else tonight, but you chose a sensitive old man.

You broke him. So, go fix him.

You lean back against the concrete wall beside him and lower yourself to the ground by his side. Eyes forward. You wrap your arms around the top of your knees, mimicking his pose. Your eyes flick to the side to observe him. 

“Hey. Are you OK?”

He doesn’t look up or acknowledge that he heard you, but a low, wavering voice emerges from his hidden face: “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I lost control. I took advantage of you. Violated you. I should turn myself in to the police…”

Despite how somber he sounds, you snort a laugh. “Is that what you’re so worried about? I asked you to, remember? I literally begged you.”

His hands clamp down over the back of his head, pulling at his messy yellow hair. “No. You were being controlled by a synthesized quirk. You had no way to consent, but I did it anyway.”

You wouldn’t have guessed he was such an anxious guy when he was pounding your insides into oblivion, or from the bruises you were going to be covered in by tomorrow. He’s falling apart. Well, you’re here, and there’s no way you’re going to let him beat himself up over this.

“By that logic, I’m as guilty as you. We were both hit with the same stuff, completely out of our minds. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I should have been able to resist,” he says firmly, voice rising. “I’m…” he makes a noise from his throat and trails off.

“Even heroes have trouble with this stuff—that’s why it’s, like, the cover of Villain’s Digest, you know? At least you tried, which is more than I can say.”

“I have to be better than that!” he snaps. What will the world do when it comes out that Japan’s number-one hero is a rapist? That even All Might was helpless against a simple aphrodisiac? He sets his jaw. “I was the one who ultimately went through with it. It was my fault. I failed to protect you.”

You rest the back of your head against the wall, letting out a long, pitying sigh. “Do you want me to punish you? Are you just going to keep saying it’s your fault until I agree? Because that’s not going to happen.”

He doesn’t answer.

“You don’t have to better than everyone else in the world, you know. I thought I’d be able to resist, too, but there’s a reason nobody ever does. That stuff rewires your priorities so you don’t want to resist. It… all felt really good in the moment…” You blush and suddenly look anywhere else. Why’d you say that last thing? “The point is… it was stupid to think I was somehow above the hundreds of people who’ve been victims before. So, stop holding yourself to some higher standard. If you want to blame someone, blame me. You… you should blame me.”

His head shoots up from his lap to lock eyes with you, his gaze protective and firm, horrified that you would feel at all culpable. “I don’t blame you.” Just as quickly, he looks away—down, to the side, anywhere else—hand gripping the back of his neck.

“Then why do think it’s your fau—oh my god, you’re married aren’t you?!”

Blood sprays from his mouth as he coughs and sputters denials. “I wasn’t cheating on anyone! I just… shouldn’t have.”

At this point, you’re more interested in the coughing-blood thing. Since the dust wore off, your breathing has gone back to normal, so it seems it wasn’t a side effect after all. Does he have Ebola? Can you catch Ebola from sex?

“Is that… something I should be worried about?”

He gapes in confusion before following your gestures to a blood stain on his shirt. “Ah! No, it isn’t contagious. It’s from an old injury…” 

He pulls up his shirt to show you a scar disfiguring the entire left side of his body. It’s not just marring the surface of his skin—it looks like a whole chunk of his chest was removed, with pink arms of surgically reconstructed flesh spiraling over his torso, as if the center of it were a black hole slowly pulling the rest of his body inside.

You forget to not stare.

He shakes his head and chuckles darkly, misinterpreting your stunned silence. “Of all the people you could have come to your senses with… must be disappointing to find yourself with a sickly old man.” He stops laughing. In a quiet but biting tone, he adds, “You must be disgusted.”

Maybe it’s a bad idea, considering how much trauma you’ve already caused him today, but you can’t help it. You lean against him and let your head rest on his shoulder. “I’m not. I’m glad it was someone sweet, and not some gross perv.”

A touch of warmth comes to your cheeks, feeling the pressure of his body against yours again. It’s comforting. You can only hope it’s comforting to him, too.

He doesn’t push you away, at least. 

“You shouldn’t have to try to cheer me up,” he sighs after a long pause. “It must be hard to be near me, after what I did.”

“It isn’t, really.” 

Strangely, that's true. You had wanted to get as far from him as possible and avoid any reminders of the humiliating act, but oddly, being close to him is nice.

“As far as I’m concerned, I was suffering, and you helped me. Have you read the articles about this stuff? Those symptoms only get worse the longer you don’t… you know.” Why are you blushing like a virgin to the guy whose dick you came on five minutes ago? His cum is still leaking out onto your panties. “I was in agony, so I’m glad we got it over with instead of spending days in the hospital. ‘Met the conditions of the quirk,’ as they say. It was the best possible option.”

“That’s a very practical way of looking at it.”

“What can I say, I’m a pragmatist!” you grin.

He nearly returns your smile out of reflex, but his face falls again. “But I wasn’t thinking about helping you… I was being completely selfish.” I enjoyed it. How could he tell you he enjoyed it?

“I don’t care.” You give a pointed look at his bony frame and flecks of blood clinging to his lips, and raise an eyebrow. “No offense, but I don't think you’d have lasted 48 hours under that kind of stress.”

He grumbles and lets out a sigh, but he doesn’t have any argument. You were probably right. There was no antidote but to wait, usually sedated. That would have been a long time to not be able to do any hero work. This was the best way… But not at your expense.

“I’m sorry, you were trying to leave earlier. You don’t have to stay any longer because you’re worried about me. I’ll be fine.” He smiles like the wounded soldier in a movie telling his brother-in-arms to leave him behind and finish the mission, while the violin soundtrack hits a dramatic crescendo in a minor key.

Should you take the opportunity to escape? 

Your plan was to get the drug out of your system with a stranger. Getting to know him any better will throw a wrench in that plan, but the thought of leaving his side makes your throat tighten. 

This guy… he’s sweet. He carries so much sorrow inside of him, you want to stay and help him with his burden. A primal instinct urges you to throw a blanket around him and feed him soup. He’s handsome, too. He doesn’t seem to think so, but you understand why your drug-soaked brain latched onto him over anyone else. Excessively tall, with sharp features, and electric eyes. If it had to be anyone, you made the right choice picking him.

You want to get to know him better. You want to learn everything about him.

“It’s OK,” you coo softly, like you were approaching an abused dog. “If you want me to go, I will. If it’s hard for you to be around me. But I’d rather stay with you for awhile.”

He looks up from his own lap at last. Two blue halos study you from within broken, dark-shadowed eyes, finally really seeing you. He looks like he’s about to cry, but does not. He glances down again, but tugs the corners of his mouth into the best effort of a smile he can manage, and this time, it doesn’t suggest he’s going to die in the next scene. “Thank you.”

You sit with him for awhile, talking. Reassuring him, while mentally kicking yourself for hurting the sweetest man on the planet.

“Yagi Toshinori,” he introduces himself. 

So much for staying strangers, you think, smiling as you tell him your name in return.

[brokutosan]

Title. It Made Me Feel Warm Yet Scared At The Same Time

Pairing. Ushijima Wakatoshi x Fem!Reader

Summary. In which she’s hurtling towards him, but she’s scared he might not catch her. (Spoiler: he does).

Warnings. This contains manga spoilers to up to the latest chapter!

Ushijima Wakatoshi doesn’t look like someone who’s interested in relationships. Or perhaps he truly isn’t. Day in and day out his thoughts are plagued with volleyball, and Y/N isn’t sure if she can find a place she could weasel her way into those said thoughts.

Tendou Satori, her coworker and friend who had introduced her to the man in question, had once said that, “Wakatoshi-kun’s brain is basically a hollowed out volleyball.” It makes sense, though. He’s a Division 1 player that’s made his way to the National Japanese team at the age of 19, so if he wasn’t as dedicated to the sport as he is then Y/N would think his whole career is a fluke.

“Say, Y/N-chan,” Tendou hums, catching the girl’s attention, “why do you like Wakatoshi-kun anyways?” Y/N stops to think about the question. It’s a good and valid question and the eccentric man in front of her had asked it a million times. And each time Y/N does not know how to answer the question.

“Why is the sky blue?” Y/N finds herself throwing the question at Tendou after much consideration.

“Hah?” He jumps up. His reaction is totally over the top, but it’s nothing Y/N isn’t already used to. “How am I supposed to answer that?” He questions back, brows furrowing into a frown.

“That’s exactly how I feel about your question.” Y/N calmly replies, taking a sip of her drink. Tendou’s face relaxes from its frown, and he jumps up exclaiming, “Oh! I see what you did there.”

“Wait. When did we jump from finishing this paperwork to talking about my love life?” Y/N perks up, straightening her back in order to avoid premature back problems. She focuses her attention back on their forgotten paperwork, rearranging them based on importance.

“I’m just a concerned friend trying to help solve your relationship problems. Specifically your lack of one.”

“Well, thanks but no thanks.” At that, Tendou gives it a rest. Or at least Y/N thought so, before he shoots up in his seat again, gaining strange looks from the people seated near the pair in the small café. “I got it! Is it because he’s attractive?”

Y/N throws him a pointed look, one that screamed out her disappointment, before she sighs out, “I like Ushijima-san because he’s Ushijima-san.” Tendou pauses and brings a hand up to his face, indicating some sort of thought process.

“Yes yes, I totally understand.”

“Kinda feels like you don’t.”

“I do.”

Y/N accepts defeat, choosing to just stay quiet just in case Tendou starts trying to dig deeper. A few minutes of silence engulfs the two as they focus on their on work, the topic of Y/N’s ‘tragic’ love life and Ushijima Wakatoshi being forgotten amidst paperwork and deadlines.

“Aki said yes when I proposed.”

“Satori! Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” This time the strange looks are pointed at Y/N, who’s leaning in from across the table to an unamused red head. “I forgot about it ‘til now.”

“So...?” Y/N muses, still standing on the balls of her feet as she shoves her face as close as possible to her surprisingly nonchalant friend. “So what?”

“When did you propose? How did you propose? When’s the wedding?” Y/N gushes, forgetting to let her friend answer her never-ending questions. “Slow down there, Y/N-chan.” Tendou chuckles and waits for her to settle down in her seat before continuing,

“I proposed last weekend over dinner and the wedding’s in four months.”

“Four months? Is that enough time to prepare?”

“It’s a simple ceremony at a shrine back home. All we care about is actually getting married.” Tendou has a dreamy look on his face, one that made Y/N slightly jealous. She hopes that someday she’ll feel it too.

Taking in her friend’s expression that screamed out ‘I’m in love!’, Y/N smiles warmly and says, from the bottom of her heart, “I’m happy for you and Aki, Satori. I really am.”

“Yeah. And I wouldn’t have met her if it weren’t for you, Y/N. So...” Tendou hints, wiggling his eyebrows and craning his neck in a way that implied he’s up to something.

“Oh no no no. No, I get where this is going, but no.” Y/N shakes her head ‘no’ vigorously, and Tendou’s almost worried for her neck but argues,

“I didn’t even say anything yet!”

“You’re grateful that I set you and Aki-chan up so now you want to do the same thing for me and Ushijima-san.”

“Damn, you’re good.” Tendou mumbles as he slouches down in his chair. “I wouldn’t be this happy if it weren’t for your help, Y/N-chan. Let me return the favor.”

“It wouldn’t be a favor if I expected something in return. Trust me Satori, I’m fine.” Y/N is hesitant to say her next sentence, but she does so anyway. “Besides...I don’t think Ushijima-san likes me like that anyways.”

“Hah?! Are you blind?!” At this point the workers are giving them dirty looks and Y/N has to physically wrestle Tendou back down to his chair. “Scream one more time and I’m telling our boss you’re finishing all of my paperwork for me.” Tendou pouts but complies anyways.

“You’re crazy if you think he doesn’t like you!” Tendou whisper-yells while making obscene gestures with his hands. “What makes you say that?”

“Look, it might not be obvious to you, but I’ve known Wakatoshi-kun since highschool!” Tendou states the obvious. Y/N looks at him unamused, but lets him continue anyways. “When he likes or dislikes something, it shows on his face!”

“His facial expression has never changed when he’s talking to me though.”

“But it does when you’re not looking! He has that small, satisfying smile on his face like when he perfects a spike or wins a game.” Y/N is skeptical, though she always is when it comes to Tendou, but she gives him the benefit of the doubt. “Okay. Say he does miraculously like me too. Then why hasn’t he made a move?”

“Why haven’t you?”

“Touché.”

Tendou lets out a dramatic sigh and slams his head down on the table. “You’re both hopeless!”

“I’d like to think of myself more as a realist. And the reality is Ushijima-san probably sees me as your boring friend from work.” Tendou runs a hand through his face and lets out something that sounds like a mixture of a grunt and a groan. He’s overreacting, Y/N thinks to herself.

“He’s a VLeague player, Satori. Meanwhile I can barely make rent on time because my friend won’t let me get my work done.”

“You’re being unfair to yourself Y/N! Why not give it a chance?” Y/N ponders over it for a minute. She could. No, she wants to, wholeheartedly. But the thing is she’s scared of making a fool out of herself. While she’s not technically someone with an inferiority complex, it’s hard to get past the fact that the man is way out of her league.

Then again...how the hell would she know if she doesn’t even give it a shot?

“Damn.” Y/N huffs out in defeat, back slamming her chair as she dramatically drops her body on it. Tendou sees this as a sign of victory, and holds up two peace signs. “Operation Wakatoshi and Y/N is a go!”

-

“I hate you, Satori.”

“Oh c’mon! You love me!”

“Nope. I hate you to death.”

“You’ll thank me for this opportunity later.”

“Sure, if I don’t kill you beforehand.” Tendou lets out a laugh, or more like a cackle, and Y/N has to physically rip her phone away from her ears in order to avoid damage. She’s thankful she’s not in public, like a train or something, or else she would have died out of embarrassment.

“You can’t kill me ‘cus then no one would help you with Operation Wakatoshi and Y/N!” Tendou wheezes out as soon as he’s done with his laughing fit.

“I can help myself.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“Have I said how much I hate you yet?”

“Y/N,” Tendou’s voice is clear with no more trace of laughter. If Y/N knew any better - the guy is being one hundred percent serious. “Just go to dinner with us, you won’t die from it. I’ll say Aki-chan had a free dinner for four and pay our meals in advance.”

“Isn’t that too obvious? Like why him and why me out of all of your friends?”

“Wakatoshi-kun won’t look into the finer details of these types of things. Trust me.”

“What if I freak him out? What if he thinks I’m insanely boring? What if -” Tendou cuts off her unnecessary rambling. From her end of the call, Y/N can just feel the major eyeroll Tendou was probably doing.

“Relax. All you need to do is be yourself, Y/N! Talk to him about your daily life and listen to him ramble about volleyball. If anything Aki-chan and I will be there as a buffer.”

“Thanks for the reassurance, but I’d rather die.”

“You’re so dramatic, Y/N chan.” And at that, she immediately shuts her mouth. If that phrase just came out of Tendou’s mouth of all people, then perhaps she was being just a smidge bit dramatic. Only because Tendou was set on hooking her up with his greek god of a friend.

The call ends after a bit more teasing from Tendou and some more death theats from Y/N that followed. Eventually they decide on a date after considering Ushijima’s training schedule, and it suddenly hits Y/N that it’s actually going to happen. She’s actually going to dinner with one of the finest man she’s ever seen walk the Earth.

-

“So...” Four pairs of eyes glance around at each other, each seemingly awkward and unfamiliar despite knowing each and everyone there on the table. It was Aki who had decided to take the liberty of breaking the silence, and Y/N silently thanks her friend who’s always been the more extroverted one among the two.

“Wakatoshi-kun, how’s volleyball training?” Aki darts her eyes at the said man, who was busy trying to ignore the awkward stares by stuffing his face with the pork curry in front of him. He coughs, obviously caught off guard, and Tendou is kind enough to pour him a glass of water (albeit he had a shit-eating grin on his face, but it’s the thought that counts).

“Ah, it’s doing well.” Ushijima replies after his mini choking scare. If he did end up choking on that piece of pork, Y/N is certified at performing the heimlich maneuver, but she’s not sure she could handle being that close to him without suddenly freaking out.

Y/N shakes her head in attempt of getting rid of the mental image of her arms wrapped around Ushijima’s torso. His very lean and toned torso. Her eyes wander a below his chest where she’s sure, hiding behind that thick sweater, is a body she’s only ever seen in movies. A testament to his strict training and diet.

“...Y/N? What do you think?” Tendou’s egging her on. She knows he saw her eyeing Ushijima like a piece of man-candy and now he’s making her pay for it. The red haired man is grinning at her, and it took everything in Y/N not to slap that grin off his face from across the table.

“Um...yes...?” It comes out a lot weaker than Y/N had intended it to, and now Tendou’s biting his cheeks to hold in his laughter. Y/N sees Aki elbow his ribs from under the table. Good. The bastard deserves it.

“Oh, so you do think that Wakatoshi-kun’s the most attractive player in the league?” Fuck. If she blurts out ‘no’ right now she’d be offending him. If she blurts out ‘yes’ she’ll be digging her own grave.

“Tendou. She doesn’t have to answer that.” Ushijima’s voice is stern yet indifferent, but good enough to shut Tendou up. Y/N weakly nods her head, a small apology for letting her thoughts wander and creating that awkward situation. He nods back in acknowledgment.

“Wakatoshi-kun, would ‘ya mind walking Y/N back to her apartment? Aki-chan and I here have a long way home and I’m worried about our friend Y/N here since it’s getting late.” There’s the catch. Y/N should have known he had a few tricks up his sleeve.

“No, it’s totally fine! My apartment is only a fifteen minute walk away, and there’s street lights everywhere! You don’t need to-”

“I was already planning on doing that.” Y/N finds herself getting more excited at those words than she should. He truly is a gentleman.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose! I know you’re probably busy with training and stuff.”

“Y/N-san. It’s only a fifteen minute walk away. I think I’ll be fine.” He says with a small smile. Ah. So he’s decided to throw her words right back at her. Clever.

The rest of their dinner goes by smoothly, with Y/N being careful Tendou doesn’t make an ass of her for the rest of the night. She learns more things about Ushijima than before, things like how his dad lives in California, and he tries to visit every once in a while. By the end of the night, Y/N feels herself getting closer to her crush. But then she remembers the dreaded 15 minute walk back to her house.

“Ushijima-san, are you sure about this? I really don’t want to be a bother.” She repeats for the nth time since walking out of the restaurant.

Ushijima offers her another smile and says, “It’s fine, L/N-san. I wouldn’t be comfortable knowing I let you walk home alone in the dark.” And at that Y/N gives it a rest, deciding to walk in silence. It lasts about three minutes, until Ushijima asks in a soft voice,

“Do you find being around me uncomfortable?” It comes out almost vulnerable, pretty ironic considering this tower of a man doesn’t look like the type who’d ask this question. Nontheless, Y/N quickly retorts,

“No! I mean...no, of course not! It’s quite the opposite, actually. I find your presence comforting, like...uh...like a giant teddy bear!” Oh god. She said that out loud. As in she said those words. As in she just called Ushijima Wakatoshi, Schweiden Adlers’ opposite hitter and the National team’s cannon, a giant teddy bear. I want to die. Y/N keeps walking ahead, not noticing that the stupidly handsome man beside her had stopped walking about five steps ago.

Y/N is so focused on mentally kicking herself in the ass that she doesn’t notice the feint small that makes its way to his face. And the laugh that follows takes her by surprise. It’s a nice sound. Y/N’s almost glad she made an ass out of herself in order to hear it.

“That’s...that’s a pretty interesting comparison.” He says once his laughter dies down. Looking back at him, Y/N finds it unfair how the moonlight is hitting his features just right, making him look almost ethereal. This man truly is out of her league. (And she just called him a giant teddy bear, Y/N’s never gonna forget that).

“Sorry, that totally came out wrong.” Y/N’s glad Tendou’s not around. The slimy bastard would never let her live it down. She could almost imagine having to go about her day with Tendou reminding her that this happened. She shudders at the thought. Ushijima notices this.

“Are you cold?” Y/N purses her lips and starts to say no, but is interrupted by him sliding off his jacket. “Here, take this.” He says warmly, closing the five-step gap between them with three long strides.

Y/N finds herself at lost for words as an oversized jacket pools her form, and Ushijima zips up the jacket with gentle hands. His face is even closer now, this much Y/N is hyperactively aware of. She feels a brush creeping up her face and curses herself for being so helpless in this situation. If only Tendou could see her now.

“Thank you, Ushijima-san. You didn’t have to.” He’s looking down at her with an unreadable expression, hands still fixed at her shoulders.

“Wakatoshi.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Just Wakatoshi is fine.” His face breakes into a smile as the sentence causes blood to shoot up Y/N’s face, her cheeks no doubt redder than a tomato. Cute, he thinks to himself.

“A-ah, then, thank you, Wakatoshi.” She manages to squeak out, though her voice is a bit muffled from her hands covering her face. She feels warm hands grip her wrist, gently pulling her hands away from her face. Y/N is once again made aware of the fact that his face alone could be used as a deadly weapon.

“You can just call me Y/N, too.” She finds herself blurting out. Ushijima, the deadly weapon, decides to go in for the kill. “Alright. So, Y/N, would you like to have dinner with me some other day? Just the two of us this time.”

Y/N pinches herself to make sure she isn’t dreaming, and replies with a hearty grin and a, “Yeah, I’d love that.”

A/N. Another reupload! There was a certain point in time when I was obsessed with Ushiwaka. This is me praying tribute to that. As always, thank you for reading! Please leave a like if you enjoyed it! - chuu

[jelloopy]

Moonlighting Notes

Previous: Character Creation, HtbG

Moonlighting Ch 1

Boys are dizzy upon entering moon base (Why exactly was this a thing? Like was it because Lucretia made it so the bureau couldn’t be remembered/ comprehended by anyone not inoculated?)

AAVVIIIIIIII!!!!! He is from Brandybuck and gives them some brandy to ease the dizziness (Team player, I want someone like Avi in my crew.) 

JOHAAANNNNNN!!!! Half elf! v v sad boy. So talented!!! (I kinda forgot how mopey he was since I’ve been catching up with the rest of TAZ )

Magnus why you tickling a grown-ass man? (This is so funny and weird considering how their relationship grows later on?)

Best god damn musician that ever existed. Plays violin like a mad man (He plays the Violin… I feel like Lup would have challenged him so god damn fast. But still, is he the legit best Violinist in Faerune?)

Magnus drinks the Ichor first. Remembers everything that was static before now being clear as day. Months and years ago there was a war that ruined and killed entire towns, loved ones, and people he knew. (Juliaaaaaa! God that sucks realizing that tbh. But also later on Travis says that Magnus was the leader of a Militia going against Governor Kalen. So what was that about exactly? They might actually explain that later on so I gonna wait and see.)

”You have never seen anything like this”~griffin about Fisher (Oh, how incorrect that statement is. Especially for it to be Magnus he’s talking about.)

Taako drinks next then Merle (Ahh, Taako the trust issues are showinggggg! But I don’t blame you it’s okay you have full right to be sus)

Taako has a memory of working on his grandpa’s farm where he leaves the milk out too long and remembers sour cream (he was 65yrs old) (God, does that mean Lup was there too? )

Johann came up with the name “voidfish���? (To be fair the IPRE gang only called him Fisher so it actually is pretty neat if Johann really was the guy to come up with the name.)

Magic Brian was 121yrs old and a drow elf (A young man just looking for mischief)

Magnus tries to tickle Johann again bit he smacks his hand away (YES JOHANN Stand up for your self!!!!! What a king.)

Johann is in the “gamekeeping” department? (I mean he is the guy that feeds and takes care of Fisher by means of feeding him information that needs getting rid of. So it kinda makes sense.)

Moonlighting Ch 2

They meet Lucretia!  (I want to punch her so bad. I’m sorry if yall like Lucretia but she infuriates me. She actually is a really cool character with a complex personality that I can actually appreciate but I still hate what she did and I will go much deeper into it later on.)

Griffin makes a joke about having to “create a new monster that takes away memories” so that he can get Taako to unlearn some of the components to making a taco (Good god. That came back to bite us in the ass didn’t it? Huh, JUNIOR. Didn’t it? That hurts a lot too.)

Lucretia doesn’t know” what the umbrastaff is (I saw a post with some Lucretia angst which I can appreciate because she could have been “in denial” about it being Lup’s umbrastaff but I got angry nonetheless.)

She believes that they are much more capable than they believe that they are (YEAH HUH? Its almost like they have less faith in themselves because someone took away their memories and the knowledge of their powers or something and they had to start all over. Wild.)

The Bureau of Balance has only been in operation for less than a year and they were not able to do anything until they discovered the Voidfish (More like Lucretia had only then figured out the logistics of her organization enough to introduce Fisher to everyone. Which in retrospect is very smart and it’s the same thing I would do at that point in time but anyway.)

Magic Brian was a wayward seeker who worked for the bureau of balance (aHA! So technically in the Graphic Novel, he should have had a bracer on unless he used a spell to conceal it which is reasonable (I won’t hate on Carey I just remembered it and noticed he didn’t have a bracer on. it’s nothing wild))

CUE TRIAL OF INITIATION! (Ngl I forgot this was a thing because of how little attention I was paying at the beginning.)

Magnus is the strongest, Merle is the smartest, and Taako is the bravest. (In all aspects, I would have switched Taako and Merle but considering at this point Taako really was a dullard I can agree with their placements.)

The smallest ogre is blue the middle ogre is green and the big ogre is red (Awe I think Griffin used all of their fave colors to Mirror the three of em. <3)

Magnus’ first blood with ripping arms off (And so it begins. God, I love that Lil character detail in Magnus. It’s so frickin funny.)

”I thought I knew him! he’s an animal!” ~Taako (I mean in The Stolen Century he waaaas taught by a bear so… not far off there bud.)

Taako falls back and breaks his wand and in return, the umbrastaff begins to shift and wiggle in his bag until he gets it out. (It never clicked that this was the time that Griffin listed in Lup’s return in the finale. Until now… That’s so cute and so sadddddd)

Moonlighting Ch 3

Magnus got to keep the robot arm(s?) (Yay! Sadly he will give them up later on :( but it is for good reason so :) )

Lucretia came up with the name “Bureau of Balance” (Why? Like why Balance. I would name it Justice or Equity or something else but Balance doesn’t seem right in line with what they are doing.)

Lucretia treats davenport as her charge or ward (Rude. For one. It also hurts a lot more when you realize he is her superior. I hate it so much.)

”We very quickly cut your hand off take the bracer then reattach the hand so its no big deal” in reference to how they’ll get the bracers off after they find all the relics. (1- I forget how they get the bracers off in the end but did Lucretia really not plan for that?) (2- heheh *cut to Merle in three Arcs*)

The seventh relic is love “after we find the sixth item we’ll come back here” (She has the 7th in her hand actually so yeah you’re only gonna need to find six. But also it kinda was Love. The bonds they all had together helped Lucretia do what she needed in the end with the help of Taako’s idea and together they ended the Hunger’s reign over Faerune.)

”who called themselves the Red Robes- are all gone- most of them killed in the hunt for their relics- bring them back here if you find one” (Uh. Lucretia really named her family the “Red Robes” and made them sound evil because they did what they could at the time. Also they aren't “all gone” the only one(s) you don’t know their whereabouts of yet are Barry and Lup. AND YOU PUT ANTI- LICH WARDS ON THE DAMN MOON DUDE. If you really wanted to find Barry to talk then you would have not done that.)

Leon the artificer! (He is trying his best and I love him)

The umbrastaff is a magical umbrella created by the Umbrawizards “very few” of them exist (Boy HUH? Did Lup like… start a gang of wizards? Or did Lucretia feed Leon false Information?)

Taako being inept at the gashapon (My favorite thing. He is played as stupid at the time but if we consider his character, in general, knowing everything we do he is just fucking with Leon and I love him for that.)

RAILSPLITTER!!!! Phantom fist!!! Wand of switcheroo!! The X-treem teen bible and SCUTTLEBUDDY!!!! (Pay close attention! These Mousekatools will be useful later on!)

Awe Magnus got everyone the stones of far speech 

They are moving to Level 4!!!

Next: MotRPL, Lunar Interlude I,

[beautifulterriblequeen]

I’m really intrigued by Rayla’s moonshadow assassin peers. I especially am interested in Andromeda because I think she is the only other girl in the group? Do you have any headcanons in how these teen/young adult assassins interacted? Do you think Rayla isolated herself from them because she was always iffy about taking a life? Also TDP finally colored their map and I know you live maps, find any new cool stuff? I especially love how there’s a frozen sea north and a spinning sea south, imagine the powerful Magic’s that channeled to make them.

Okay, so I jumped straight to the map, did 80% of it, and wandered away for a few weeks. I apologize, anon. Let’s get this going again:

I’ve got a few headcanons on the Moonshadow assassins! It seems likely that they hang out mostly with each other, when they hang out, to reinforce their teambuilding and to give them some socialization, since assassins tend to keep others at arm’s length. So I kinda figure they tend to roam as a pack on their evenings out in the village, if they’re not married to a non-assassin like Runaan is.

I think that could be part of the reason that Rayla might not have hung out with the others as much, too: Runaan wanted to be either training or at home with Ethari, so Rayla probably spent a lot of time doing those things just because he did them. And when Runaan was doing more serious training or missions, that’s when Rayla had her free time to run around the forest and make adoraburr friends. 

Runaan could’ve probably insisted that she do something more assassiny with her free time. Shadow an assassin, do more studying, practice certain prescribed skills on her own. But he didn’t. He let her play. Soft assassin is soft!

Listen, anon, I have a fun headcanon for you about Andromeda--and by fun, I mean it’s really angsty half a second after you start thinking about it. Ready? 

What if: Andromeda is Runaan’s half-sister. If they’re both Lujanne’s children by different assassin dads who kept dying in battle, but a Moon mage needs an assassin leader partner to defend Xadia with, and Lujanne knew her son Runaan wasn’t old enough to lead yet, so she burned through three or more husbands protecting him until Runaan was well trained enough to lead the assassins himself and had fallen in love with a mage who adored him and would be his partner in her place.

 Andromeda looks a fair bit like Lujanne, too:

Along with Runaan, they all have long hair, side tails bound in silver cuffs, and some form of braids. Andromeda’s hair is sectioned in front similarly to Runaan’s. Her accent sounds more British than Scottish, though she only has the one line: My eyes for truth. And Lujanne and Andromeda are the only two Moonshadow elves we’ve met who have medium blue horns, while Runaan’s are dark blue. Almost everyone else’s horns have purple or pink as their base color.

But then, see, Andromeda went on Runaan’s mission, and she died. Her spirit was the most aggressive in TTM, usually closest to Rayla with her sword out, as if she hated Rayla the most. If she had a vested family interest in Runaan’s mission succeeding, and then it went pear-shaped because of Rayla, that would make sense.

No matter if she’s related to Runaan or not, she’s wearing horn cuffs, so she was in a dedicated relationship of some kind, and that’s so sad. Someone’s missing her the way Ethari’s missing Runaan. :’((((

Anyway, it’s just a headcanon, but since you asked, there ya go.

Okay, on to my thoughts on the map, of which I have a normal and healthy amount:

The Map Border: 

Everyone doodles in the borders. I love to see what they put there.

Starting in the upper left and going counter-clockwise, the five human crowns are cool

Cornucopia swirls center left look like an homage to Cabbage Man from ATLA

Bait is staring at Evenere. his home? Or maybe he just wants to eat the dragonfly on its logo

Human defender has a beard. Hairagorn. He's very heavily armored but has no helmet. Long hair is braided to rest on front of shoulder, like the blond elf in the painting at the Moon Nexus. Old timey hairstyle?

He’s defending Katolis Castle specifically. I wonder if the little white building is kinda random or if it’s supposed to represent the Banther Lodge. Nah, I have a better guess: that’s where Viren grew up

The crack in the map looks meta. It's been repaired somewhat. Makes me wonder if it's an in-world map, whose, who ripped it, and who fixed it. Sir Phineas Kurst seems like the kind of guy to almost shred his really cool map

The star behind Zym's egg has seven points

The two ships on the southern waters are western and eastern respectively. Tidebound elves from Singapore? Jack Sparrow would be proud

There is land just south of the Dragontail, wonder what’s there?

The leaves around the human figure are small and numerous while the Moonshadow elf has fewer but bigger leaves

The elf is standing in the way of one of the six leaves growing out of the rune rose and that leaf's curly tip seems to have been replaced with a curl of the elf's very long hair

The human pose is more offense and the elf pose is more defense. But the elf has two swords, and one has some wicked hooks in it.

Elf has 4 fingers instead of 3 so whether it’s in-universe or meta, they were drawn by a human :DDD

The elf's braid winds around their horn and I think that's clever

High collar shirt under protective layer, bracers and elbow gloves, bare biceps, complex shoulder getup, ornate hair that's butt long and partly braided, two long slightly curving swords... horn cuffs too. This is a Moonshadow assassin in the same gear Runaan's got, poised to defend the Xadian half of the map as the human is poised to defend his side

The rune rose isn't a compass. It has a two sided pointer and six primal runes. Just decorative I guess. ;)

More lettuces on right center.

Maybe a portaling caterpillar on the center knot? Little bug pal, I see you

“The Five Human Kingdoms” lettered in red, “Xadia” in blue. Giving me Stratego flashbacks. Even the flowers on their banners are color coded

Banners in the corners are similar but Xadia has more fluttery tips

Thunder drawn all attacky top center, does he have anything to do with the Frozen Sea being frozen?

Compass rose under Thunder’s wing

Dick island near the compass. Well, Duren is the breadbasket of the human lands. A most excellent cartography joke! 10/10 would chortle wholesomely again

The Human Kingdoms:

Neolandia

Capital Eboreus seems to be a lake city below a mountain and I'm here for all the Lake Town refs. 

It's also the eye of the elephant shape

Not a lot of trees, mostly grasses or desert. Only borders Duren across a couple rivers/estuaries/sea channels

Heart shaped island next to elephant trunk

Land generally broken into several sections by sea/rivers 

If it’s rivers, they seem to generate from the capital’s lake and flow in several directions. And they say there’s no magic left in the western lands! ;)

But if there was exactly one source of freshwater in a desert land, it makes sense that you’d find a way, magical or mechanical, to spread that lifegiving water in as many directions as possible so your people can thrive so kudos to Neolandia’s ancestors/Tidebound elves/whoever managed that, it’s brilliant

I can and will make up explanations for anything on a map. I adore worldbuilding

Del Bar

Two named locations. Since Del Bar’s national symbol is a serpent, I guess Serpentongue is the capital.

Hinterpeak is a sweet name. Looks like Helm's Deep with that retaining wall. What’s it for? Are there dwarves in this land? Is it an Earthblood stronghold? Maybe it’s like the Mines of Moria, and the Earthbloods were chased out and/or killed inside and now it’s full of nasty orcses but someone left a MacGuffin down there so *nudges hero* Off you pop.

Nice forests around the southern mountain range but northern DB is more arid or grassy lands like Neolandia. 

Considering that crops grow well in Duren, which is farther north, I assume there is a massive meteorological gyre over the human lands, with a southern wind blowing down over the western realms and keeping them icy until the mountains of Hinterpeak block and divert them, protecting Evenere. The winds don't blow eastward without warming right up-- and causing thunderstorms in Katolis how about that-- because there is a warmer side to the gyre over Katolis and Duren, blowing tropical warmth and moisture north and providing rain for trees and crops alike. Most years, anyway.

How does the weather fail in Duren for seven years in a row, anyway? That seems like a Thunder issue. Unless it’s a Sunforge issue, which I’ll get to below.

Ahem.

Borders Neolandia, Duren, and Katolis across rivers, but most border is coastline.

Serpentongue probably got its name from the two river heads around it

Cluster of dead little cracks spawns a single river. Looks like someone cracked the tub and it drained away. I wonder how much of this landscape has been affected by the Mage Wars. Big watery basins have flooded and other spots seem dead. The lands may or may not actually touch depending on how deep some of these waterways are

Evenere

Looks like someone punched holes in the land with a giant pencil to make it a separate island. Broken outline with scattered islands

That Pawprint Isles has only four toes

Moon-shaped island is very crescenty indeed

Are these isles home to refugees or outcasts from Xadia? Listen, I want pirates and that sea looks pretty Caribbean to me

No capital city, hmmm what's that about? Is it underground, does it move? Maybe Fareeda’s capital is on the back of a world turtle and she’s constantly on tour around the island?

That arm of land ending in a peace sign, please can we get surfers

The hills emanating from that claw shaped headland look like something is sleeping under the island, hello yes I am here for giant immortal creatures please

Katolis

its capital is also called Katolis, the only human realm to use the same name twice

Weeping Bay could be a ref to the tears the humans shed after they reached the west. Or the Moonshadow elves as they left their forest for the east. Or both. Both, in this case, is bad but balanced

Boomerang island next to the Dragontail

The river the Dragaang rode on was going uphill

The watery slash in the land between Katolis and Del Bar is awfully straight. So is the one between Del Bar and Neolandia. I call magical warfare.

Katolis has a bunch of mountains in the east, part of an old natural border before the lava one appeared

Mt Kalik is probably volcanic. It's a standalone mountain and it's really tall. Rex Ignius maybe? Oh, probably not, I think I see him peeking on the other side of the map

The trees of Duren and Katolis are different then the western lands. Softer green, deciduous. And the land itself is yellower, warmer in tone

Forests centered on Mt Kalik

The Moon Nexus looks like an eye on a dragon head near the Dragontail, and Evenere looks like a severed wing (Yes I am still wondering where Luna Tenebris went, why do you ask)

Weeping Bay looks like the most natural body of water in the western lands

Three red little trees scattered around the Katolis map. Fruit trees? How very Moonshadow.

Duren

The only land border among all the human kingdoms is between Duren and Katolis. Maybe it used to be further south along the river?

Capital is Berylgarten, set on a lake. Beryl is a stone that’s usually green, blue, or yellow in color, very gardeny

Second smallest realm but the breadbasket of the human lands. Has several little forests and great tilled fields

Being a farmer in Duren is probably as awesome as being an assassin in the Moonshadow Forest; you do what you do for all your friendly kingdoms

Northernmost land is cold and craggy, named Skall's Hook along the sea

Third ship in the Frozen Sea is icebound and crushed. Looks western, indicating no possible passage

Lots of colored trees and shrubs as if fruitbearing, I keep comparing Duren to the Yakima Valley in Washington State

Where the lava reaches the Frozen Sea, it melts the ice next to Duren's mountains

Northern Xadia:

Lux Aurea

Most of the center lands of this map has warm tones for its ground. Maybe that’s because of the long reach of the warmth and light of Lux Aurea’s Sun Nexus, and only the lands that are just too far from it are truly cold and icy. It would explain why Duren is a breadbasket realm so far north--it’s just across the border from Lux Aurea.

If there’s anything to that, then I suddenly worry for the fate of all the human lands now that the Sunforge has gone dark. It’s early summer now in Xadia, and crops in Duren will be ripening soon... Unless the sun’s magic was helping them grow. This coming winter could be rough. Next winter, people will die. Unless they can purify the Sunforge again.

Also, I have to wonder if Duren’s seven years of famine had anything to do with Sunforge shenanigans. They’d have happened at Khessa’s command, and we know she despises humans. If she was responsible for all the struggles that humans had to go through without enough food for seven years, and then their desperate attempt to fix the problem by invading Xadia for a Magma Titan’s heart which extended and exacerbated the war, I can see why Aaravos might feel Queen Khessa deserved to die

The city’s shaped kinda like an Egyptian pectoral necklace on this map, and that’s super pretty and not at all ominous

Also that’s a lot of gold for a whole city and I wonder how they got it all

The Shiverglades and the Shards

These areas are north of Lux Aurea and seem cold but not very icy, even though the Frozen Sea is right there. More thoughtful glances at the Sunforge over this one. Is it warming the land, or not warming the sea? Both?

Shiverglades is a play on Everglades, so this is a cold swamp, which sounds super fun I’m sure. Permafrost, tundra maybe?

The Shards seem to be rock islands with ice mountains. Glaciers are cool. 

I wonder if something broke those islands off on purpose. Have I mentioned how much I enjoy worldbuilding? Yeah, well, I like world-wrecking, too.

Storm Spire

Has a good view on everything that happens for miles, including Lux Aurea, the Midnight Desert, the Shiverglades, the Black Tundra, the Uncharted Forest, and Drakewood. 

Defensible position, no other tall mountains nearby

Also able to alert others to danger, especially since Avizandum could teleport like lightning

The Midnight Desert

It’s pretty big! And it looks like it’s littered with ruins of columns and dead palm trees. Like something else used to be in that great space and then something Very Bad happened to it. Maybe there was one great city where all the elves could mix together, and then it got utterly obliterated and the elves all fled to their respective safe places around Xadia. A city of black stone, back when Aaravos wore a crown? Now pulverized to dust and surrounded by not one, not two, but three primal nexuses? Hmmm...

All the wisps could be heat from the sand, or spooky spirit hints, or just an ominous sign of danger from the snakes below, but the overall effect is that the land is unhealthy if not cursed

The oasis is marked, and it must contain a spring since it runs a river out to join the river that passes through the Moonshadow Forest

Also the actual oasis kinda resembles a blue lizard which is adorable and probably also terrifying

Moonshadow Forest

The Silvergrove is the only village marked in the forest, so in keeping with the other lands and general map legend rules, it’s likely the capital/central village for the Moonshadow elves

The village is marked by four round-roofed homes between two tall leafy trees that shelter and hide them. It’s a hybrid balance between the blocky manmade castles of the human lands and the actual forest around them, showing a blending with nature that even the Sunfire city of Lux Aurea did not embrace, with all its golden buildings

It’s a good-sized forest, and it kinda stretches thin to the east but there it tentatively connects to the Drakewood Forest

Moonstone Path to the west just chilling in the lava like a blank alignment chart. Moonstone Path is Chaotic Hot.

Southern Xadia:

Ruins of Elarion

Elarion is a city, and it’s been lost to the humans for a thousand years

The building outlines are squared-off towers like the more modern castles in the west, suggesting that humans in Xadia built for strength and defense as soon as they could. They felt vulnerable and created protections in their architecture. The three elven cities we see also play to their strengths, but those strengths include magic. Elarion’s humans had to find a different strength, and they went with craftsmanship and ingenuity

It seems to be the only human city from before the border was drawn

“Ruins” doesn’t necessarily mean no one lives there at all, but it’s been emptied of humans and no one else has maintained it since

It had a great position on a vast lake, with sheltering hills and easy sea access

Sea of the Castout

This inland sea has five inlets and outlets. It’s hard to be sure which is which with some of them, with the way the water is drawn on this map. But I’m kinda liking the idea that all the water swirlies are places where Tidebound magic has been placed over the millennia, so the water can do whatever it needs to do depending on circumstances. That goes for the human lands, too. Katolis backward river, you’re off the hook.

With a name like "Castout,” I wonder if it was some kind of universal toilet to flush away things you didn’t want--including humans--who might wash up near Elarion and start to build there. Yeesh.

The rivers that flow into this sea pass through or near the Moonshadow Forest, the Midnight Desert, the Storm Spire, Drakewood, and the Uncharted Forest. That’s a lot of drainage.

It’s pretty far from the Tidebound Archipelago, so maybe its name is referencing Tidebound elves who have left their home colony

Was this always a sea, or did something that Xadia wanted to forget get flooded and hidden in the depths?

The land around it seems open and hospitable. It could be a good place to build/rebuild in a time of peace.

The Far Reaches

Open grassland with low hills

Two of the hills look like giant boot prints

Several colorful trees which I hope are fruit trees

Bounded by two rivers from the Sea of the Castout

Looks homey tbh, great spot to retire to get away from everything if there were a war that really shook you up

Ocean Point

There’s a Star rune here, and it could mean many things

The closest other marked location is Elarion

If this was where Aaravos lived of his own free will, I can see why he’d take a shine to the humans. They were his neighbors.

If he is imprisoned here, it’s literally the furthest point in Xadia from the other elven realms, with the Moonshadow Forest being the closest one and Umber Tor not too much further but in a totally different direction. If they were trying to isolate him physically with a portable mirror to watch over him, that’s a good spot for it

Possible location that the cube is leading Callum toward? Portal to the Star Touch home plane? Aaravos’s seaside B&B? Trap street?

Eastern Xadia:

Drakewood

Umber Tor looks to be the tallest mountain in all of Xadia, save possibly for the Storm Spire. It’s more traditionally mountainy, with a nice snowcap. Since it’s labeled, I’m guessing it’s the Earth Nexus, under which an Earth Archdragon sleeps

Also there’s a giant yellowish-brown dragon chilling next to the Tor. Yeah, he seems nice. Rex Igneous, I presume?

Or maybe not, since the neighboring forest is called Drakewood. Maybe this woods is just where a bunch of Earth dragons hang out? Ezran and Pyrrah flew off and returned with a crew of Sun dragons from somewhere, so dragons must have communities too

The mountains that edge the sea are shaped roughly like a stone dragon in flight

Drakewood seems to be the forest closest to Umber Tor, with both deciduous and evergreen trees, though there’s a huge swath of wooded land here, to the north and to the southwest. I wonder what the locals consider the border where the Drakewood becomes the Uncharted Forest and why. The way the evergreens are drawn almost looks like a border, a sort of kingswood set aside for a specific use. Rex Igneous’s best toothpicks?

Uncharted Forest

Okay this is a properly magical name, very mysterious. But uncharted by whom? People with charts? This might be a Sir Phineas Kurst name, which is outsidery, and it makes me wonder if the locals/neighbors have their own name for it, which the human explorer never learned, a la “Thunder” for Avizandum

Maybe “Uncharted Forest” just means no one ever turned those trees into charts though, old growth ftw

If no one lives here, will someone move here? If someone lives here, who are they? Earthblood elves? Moonshadow elves? Humans? This mystery, it calls to me

the trees are mostly deciduous and fill basically all of this whole section of land, up against the mountains and the rivers, so it seems very fertile land indeed

Earthblood elves could live here, but there is no city marked. Maybe because we haven’t gotten that far in the show, or maybe that’s the wrong sort of descriptor for how the Earthbloods live and organize. Maybe the whole forest is their city, like Pando, the interconnected quaking aspen clone forest

The northernmost part of this forest lies right between the Storm Spire and the Tidebound Archipelago, so it might get a regular flyover route for migration or messages

Yes, this forest is the most interesting place in Xadia to me, I desperately want to learn more about it

Black Tundra

Yeah this place isn’t ominous

Similar to the Shiverglades, but where that has shrubbery, the Black Tundra has single dead trees and creepy curving spikes. Scorched? Poisoned? De-magicked?

The water north of this area isn’t frozen, and with a lake to the south and a river and a moderate mountain range, the whole area looks like it would otherwise be decently habitable, but instead it’s cold and black

Is climate change a thing here, or will we get a nice horrible disaster instead?

Tidebound Archipelago

These islands have dotted lines around them, like they’re submerged at high tide, or maybe made of shifting sand that literally moves around like sand dunes across a desert, or perhaps they’re exactly at sea level with half their civilization in the air and half underwater or in cool bubbles, or maybe the islands actually float

Maybe the Tidebound elves even sank them on purpose for defensive purposes

The archipelago is about even latitudinally with the Storm Spire Lux Aurea, Berylgarten, and Eboreus so they probably get pretty nice weather

There’s no ice in sight here in any direction along Xadia’s east coast, so presumably the prevailing current is a warm one

do they have bridges connecting the islands? Ferries, animals who give them a lift across?

the islands have quite a bit of space on them. I wonder if there’s a big population, maybe a shifting population? Do Tidebound elves migrate up and down the coast like gray whales and return to the islands for certain holidays or social events?

This is probably the hub of the Tidebound elves’ culture, but the sea surrounds the whole land and infiltrates it with many rivers and lakes. The Spinning Sea and the Frozen Sea are pretty firm Do Not Enter signposts, but a determined Tidebound could get around either one if they wanted to

What I’m not seeing here is a city. Either it’s not been marked yet, or that’s not a thing that Tidebound elves have in their culture. If they don’t have a city, they’re possibly migratory in family groups, or maybe they stick to small villages like the Moonshadows do, but with even less central leadership

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, obsessedbutonline!

For @obsessedbutonline, who listed fluff, angst, and ‘Derek giving Stiles gift’ as a few ‘Likes’. I hope I did those items justice. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas, Friend!

Read On AO3

*****

The Gift

The gift. He supposed it all started with the gift. Or maybe Star Trek. Derek wasn’t sure. It was Stiles, after all. One day, the younger man had been debating the cuddle rating of a Tribble, before diving into an analysis of The Voyage Home being one of the worst movies in franchise history (except for the whales, of course), and the next thing Derek knew, he’d found himself discussing how Moby Dick was one of his favorite books. The random jumps from one topic to another hadn’t been anything new for Stiles, but that had also been the year they’d legitimately gotten ‘together’ after their contentious circling of each other’s orbits, so when Derek had opened an inelegantly wrapped early edition of the novel on that first Christmas as a couple, he’d been rendered speechless.

He couldn’t remember how long he’d stared at the leather-bound copy exactly, but he did recall feeling a bout of inadequacy. He thought he’d hid it well though. “Stiles – “ he’d started. “I wasn’t expecting…This is too much.”

Stiles had shrugged like it hadn’t been a big deal, an eager grin on his face. “Nah, it wasn’t too bad. A classmate mentioned a prof who needed an assistant to help translate some Latin verses, and I thought I’d check it out. When I went, I noticed a copy of Moby Dick in his office, and you’d mentioned it was one of your favorites, so I offered my translation services for free if he would sell the book for a discounted price.”

Of course, Stiles had remembered that weird detail from a throwaway conversation. And of course, he’d been resourceful in procuring it. That was just who Stiles was. Now, Derek, on the other hand… well, he’d felt completely out of his league when he’d pulled out the gift card he’d picked up a day earlier from a comic book store. He hadn’t even known if that was a store Stiles ever visited. He really sucked at gift-giving. “Sorry, I didn’t …”

Stiles had yanked it out of his hands before he’d even finished. “I love it. Thanks, Derek!” The younger man had beamed excitedly, clutching that cheap piece of plastic in his hands as if he’d just received some personal heirloom. There had been no uptick in the man’s heartrate, so there’d been no lie in those words, but that hadn’t stop Derek from feeling bad.

And it was then that he had resolved to do better, that he would be thoughtful and meticulous in his gift selection the next time Christmas rolled around. Stiles deserved as much.

But he’d mentioned he was bad at gift-giving, right? As in, monumentally bad. Because the next Christmas, when they’d settled down on his couch after an intimate holiday dinner he’d prepared for the two of them, Stiles had presented him with a charmingly wrinkled gift bag. And when he’d pulled out a lovingly restored and framed photograph of his family from before the fire, he’d not only felt a slight lump in his throat at the sentiment, he’d also felt remarkably small and completely lacking in comparison. It was a good thing they’d come to a mutual understanding that their birthdays would be a no-gift zone, because Derek wasn’t sure he could’ve handled double the inferiority complex this time of year.

“I found a copy of the photo from the digital archives of the town newspaper. It was for some fundraiser committee your mom chaired, I think. I saved a copy, and googled around for some pointers on how to increase the resolution so I could print out a decent version of it,” Stiles had explained.

Derek had nodded absently, his fingers lightly tracing the curve of his mother’s face under the cool glass. His whole family had stared back at him, carefree and unburdened in the moment that photo had been taken, eyes all shiny from a sunny afternoon picnic. “Yeah, I remember. It was a Pets in the Park fundraiser for the local animal shelter.” There had been an ache in the pit of his stomach at the reminder of everything he’d lost, but it wasn’t as sharp as it had once been. Now, it had been dulled by time, and tempered by the meaningful relationships he’d found, foremost of which was the one with the man beside him. “Thank you,” he’d said slowly, slightly surprised that his voice hadn’t cracked at the pool of emotion swirling within him.

“Anytime, big guy.” Stiles had leaned in, his weight and warmth freely offered as a source of silent strength.

But when he’d pulled out his gift for Stiles, he had had that sinking feeling of failing an important test. He hadn’t even had time to wrap it properly, opting to place a haphazard bow on it instead. “Sorry, I didn’t know …”

Stiles had grabbed the cellophane-covered box with a puzzled expression. “A bath set?” he’d asked slowly. “Is this your way of telling me I stink?”

There had been amusement in the younger man’s tone, devoid of upset or disappointment, but that hadn’t stopped Derek from feeling upset and disappointed in himself. After Stiles had gone through all the trouble of giving him such a personal and meaningful gift, he’d reciprocated with … soap. “Remember when you were on break during Thanksgiving,” he’d started to explain. “That necromancer problem we had?”

“Oh, damn, do I ever! We spent the whole night trying to wash zombie goo out of bodily crevices I never knew I had!” Then, realization had set in as those rich brown eyes widened. “This is perfect, Derek! Thank you!” And just like that, Stiles had fallen on him with his usual gracelessness, and proceeded to express his ‘gratitude’ properly.

That had been last year. But this time around, right before Stiles had returned to campus for his final two semesters of college, Derek had stumbled upon the ideal Christmas gift, while they were cleaning, of all things. They’d been packing up and storing some of Stiles’ stuff before the younger man headed back to school when they’d gotten diverted by some dusty, old boxes in the Sheriff’s attic. Somehow, in the way of procrastination, they’d ended up flipping through old photo albums when Stiles had paused to tell him about a picture of his mother.

“Oh, there’s the locket my dad helped me buy for Mother’s Day when I was eight,” Stiles had said as he’d pointed to a picture of Claudia Stilinski, vivacious and beaming brightly at the camera. Anyone could see where Stiles had gotten his smile. “I didn’t have the greatest taste in jewelry, so it doesn’t look like much, but she was so excited when she got it. She wore it all the time.”

“It’s nice that you have a memento to remember her by,” Derek had supplied.

Stiles’ shoulders had slumped a little at the comment. “Yeah, I think we accidentally sold it during a garage sale not long after she died. Dad wasn’t exactly in the best place, and he just wanted to get rid of the memories because they hurt so much back then. Lots of regret now. Who knows? It might’ve found another home, or it might be in a garbage dump somewhere.”

And that comment had led him down the winding, convoluted path to where he was now: standing in front of a teenage girl with bright blue hair and an eclectic ensemble of a loose plaid shirt, artfully ripped leggings, and combat boots.

“A hundred bucks,” the girl re-stated, her tone indicating that this wasn’t a negotiation.

“One hundred? The pawn shop owner said you only paid five dollars for it.” He could be stubborn too, though deep down, he knew he wasn’t really in a position of power in this situation, much as that rankled him.

Ms. Blue-hair shrugged. “So? If you want it that bad, then you should be willing to pay for it.”

She had him there. Three months of diligently interviewing the Stilinski neighbors, and following a trail of multiple goodwill and pawn shops had led him to that very locket hanging from the girl’s neck, that very locket Stiles had shown him in that old photo of his mother. He gave the teen what Stiles had laughingly termed his ‘murder-brow’ look and pulled out his wallet. Of course, he would pay, especially after all the work he’d put into tracking it down, and because this was for Stiles. He didn’t have to like being swindled like this though.

“That’s a nice jacket, by the way.”

Derek looked up from pulling out the cash and froze. He glared at the girl, hoping the intensity of his stare would deter whatever she was about to insinuate. It didn’t work.

“No,” he said flatly as she watched him expectantly.

“Okay, I guess we’re done here then. Nice meeting you.” And with that, she turned and started to walk away.

Derek ground his teeth together to keep from outright growling and fought hard to not wolf out. He hated being bested like this. Life would’ve been so much simpler if he could just take the damned piece of jewelry by force and run off with it. Stupid morals.

“Fine,” he conceded with a clenched jaw after she’d managed to walk several feet away.

She turned with a triumphant smile as he started to shrug off his leather jacket. When he held it out with the wad of cash, she unclasped the chain without any further objections and handed it over. “Pleasure doing business with you, sir.”

(***)

Stiles’ name flashed on his lock screen just as he was pulling up to his loft.

“Hey, you back already?” he answered as he shifted his car into park. His regular visits to Stanford notwithstanding, he’d been anticipating Stiles’ winter break for a while, and the timing couldn’t have worked out any better with him finding the locket when he had. “I was going to pick you up tonight after you’ve had a few hours with your dad.”

Several seconds of heavy breathing greeted his words, and almost instantly, he was on alert, muscles tensing and heartrate increasing. “Stiles?”

“Yeah, Derek, I’m here,” a familiar voice sounded through the phone. “Sorry, just had to get around Scott to check something out. But no, I’m not home yet. Got sidetracked on my way into town. Can you come to the preserve right now? The trail just off Parsons. We’ve got, um, a problem.”

Since his return to Beacon Hills, the supernatural activity in the area had decreased significantly, especially with a solid pack established in the area now, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t the occasional run-in with creatures bringing in death and mayhem. This sounded like one of those times. Shifting gears into reverse, he responded without hesitation, “On my way.”

The trip to the preserve was quick, the route having been travelled so many times that he could probably drive it eyes closed. After parking in the lot off Parsons, he picked up Stiles’ scent almost immediately, along with a few others of the pack, and had no problems tracking the source down a few hundred feet off a popular running path.

Not surprisingly, Scott noticed him first, looking up from a patch of tall grass and nodding in greeting as Derek silently approached. Stiles stood more out in the open, back turned and head down as he tapped busily on his phone. Once upon a time, his quiet ‘stalking’ would’ve caused a flailing of limbs and a high-pitched yelp from the younger man, but of the familiarity borne from the years of closeness, Stiles simply turned, smiled, and greeted him with a warm ‘hey’ as if he’d known he was there the whole time. And all things considered, he probably had.

They’d never been a couple for overt displays of affection, but the way Stiles unconsciously leaned toward him, trusting and open, worked just as well in telling Derek how the other man felt. He usually did the same, subtly breathing in the scent of his boyfriend and feeling more settled in his presence. They hadn’t seen each for a couple of weeks, and he’d missed having Stiles near.

“What’s going on?” he asked, looking around for the rest of the pack. Their scents were fainter, which meant they had been here recently, but had likely wandered off or left altogether.

“It’s Christmastime in Beacon Hills, so the usual. Y’know, carolers, Santa parades, sleigh rides, tidings of comfort and joy, and oh yeah, witches.”

Derek had never been bothered by Stiles’ sarcasm, though he wouldn’t openly admit that if asked about their first encounters with each other, but now, he found the trait rather endearing. “So, we’re dealing with a witch. How bad?”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I was driving back into town when I saw a kid running across the road. Freaked me out, and barely stopped in time. When I went to check on him, he was crying and said an old woman had tried to take him. At first, I thought it was an attempted kidnapping, but then, he said that there was a lot of screaming coming from her big bag, and he was scared of getting stuffed in there with all the other kid. For this town, that triggered alarm bells. Stuffing kids into bags and lugging them around is not your regular run-of-the-mill kidnapper MO. I called my dad, and he came out here with a few units, but is running interference on the supernatural front. He’d mentioned that this was the third attempted kidnapping this month, so the deputies are on high alert. They still think it’s a regular human predator, so they’re canvassing the other side of the preserve right now, which means we can do our own investigation here. I called Scott, and the others are now fanned out, doing a search to see if we can catch a scent.”

“No luck yet,” Scott added as he strode over to join them. “Just a whole bunch of the usual smells, and with the people that use the running trails, it’s hard to pinpoint a specific one. We’re not exactly sure what we’re looking for.”

“I think I have a lead though.” Stiles held out his phone to show an etching of a stooped crone with a large sack. “We might have an Icelandic witch in the area, one that kidnaps and eats children, but I’m not a hundred percent. I hope I’m not right because … well, children! But she’s supposed to be active around Christmas. I need to double-check some books at my house to make sure though.”

Derek nodded, not surprised that Stiles had pretty much figured it out already. As human as Stiles was, he was arguably one of the pack’s most valuable assets, and truth be told, Derek felt quite proud of the other man’s quick wit and life-saving accomplishments. “So, you need to go home then?”

Stiles made a sound of agreement as he tucked his phone away and gave him an apologetic look. No words were needed to communicate how sorry he was that their reunion wasn’t what they’d planned.

“Okay, call us with any info,” Scott chimed in. “Derek and I will probably be more useful if we keep scouting the area. This is children we’re talking about. I don’t want anymore of them put in danger.”

“Yes, sir, Mr. Alpha leader, sir,” Stiles replied jokingly, giving his friend a mock salute.

The years had matured Scott somewhat, enough that the erstwhile werewolf took his role and responsibilities somewhat seriously now. And for this, Derek was grateful.

Scott gave Stiles a shove to get him on his way, before shaking his head with a laugh and started to move back to the tall grass he’d been searching through earlier. “Go, you idiot.”

Stiles responded with the very mature gesture of sticking out his tongue. Then, Derek felt the younger man’s arm wrap lightly around his waist and pull him close for a quick kiss. The motion was casual, natural, and one that Derek returned without thought. “Sorry, not what we’d planned when I got back, huh? Let’s catch this witch fast so we can start our Christmas cuddle session, ‘kay?”

Derek raised an eyebrow at the comment. His boyfriend sure did have a way with words sometimes. “Christmas cuddle?”

“Hey, it is what it is.” Stiles shrugged innocently as he started to move away.

“I’m not calling it that.”

“Suit yourself, Sourwolf, but I’ve officially labelled it, and you can’t take that away from me,” Stiles said as he walked backwards toward the nearby trail. Derek half-expected him to trip on some invisible rock in the next few seconds. “Gonna say it all I want!”

He rolled his eyes as the younger man’s antics. “Go.”

“Christmas cuddle! Oh, and far be it for me to complain about seeing you in that t-shirt, but you do know it’s winter, right? We may live in California, and you may have some super-awesome internal wolfy furnace going, but I’m cold just looking at you. Where’s your jacket?”

“Go!” While he didn’t feel the chill as acutely, he didn’t need to be reminded about his fleecing by a greedy, blue-haired teenager.

After Stiles wave his acknowledgement and jogged out of sight, Derek turned back to join Scott. Their relationship may have started out roughly, but they’d fallen into a companionable pattern over the last few years. It was likely because of everything Scott had been through and his maturation, but Derek guessed part of it may have been out of respect for both their relationships with Stiles. Without much preamble, they quickly sectioned off their respective search zones, and fanned out into the thicker parts of the preserve. Derek had grown up here, had run and played amongst the trees and foliage so often that walking through it now stirred a sense of homecoming. Still, sometimes, there were things here that could still surprise him. Like the odd whiff of fear and panic he caught a few minutes after he’d split off from Scott. It was faint, probably non-existent for the newer wolves, but it was there, so out of place with the earthy scent of moss and soil. He started to follow it, his senses sharpening as he homed in on the potential prey. He hadn’t made much progress before he heard a howl off in the distance, and his entire body tensed, ready for action.

They’d found something!

Once he pinpointed the source, he was off, dashing through branches and over roots with a surety of stride that had been acquired from a lifetime of running these woods. He didn’t get very far though. He heard it first, a loud symphony of disembodied laughter all around him. Before he could stop and confront whatever it was, he caught a flutter of movement in his periphery, and then, he was flying, thrown through the air by an impact harder than anything in recent memory. He was out cold before he even landed.

(***)

He wasn’t unconscious for long. At least, he didn’t think he was, given that generations of werewolf evolution had refined his healing abilities to the point where he shouldn’t be. But however long it was, it was enough to find himself strapped to a board – or a crude table, perhaps – staring up at the flickering shadows of a stone ceiling. Or a cave? He honestly hated losing time like this and waking up in unexpected places, which, given who he was and where he lived, was an actual occupational hazard.

A whimper somewhere to his left drew his attention just then, and he tilted his head at an uncomfortable angle to take better stock of where he was, and with whom. Just within his field of vision, he could barely make out a small figure sat huddled inside a primitively constructed cage no higher than his hip. A wood fire burned beneath a big vat just a few feet away, thoroughly heating up whatever was inside if the bubbling sound was any indication.

“Hey,” he said quietly, if a little hoarsely, hoping the hunched figure would shift enough into the firelight for him to make out who it was.

The figure shuffled over, and Derek could see the tear-streaked face of a boy, probably no more than eight or nine years old. Stiles had said there’d been attempted kidnappings. It looked like one had succeeded.

“H-hello? You’re awake.”

“Yeah, I am.” He wasn’t good with children, barring the few cousins he’d played with when he was younger, yet that had been different. They’d been family. He knew this kid was scared, could hear it in the tremor of his voice and smell it in the dankness of the air, but he wasn’t sure what he could say to help with that. “I’m Derek. What’s your name?”

“A-Andy.”

“Well, Andy, if you give me a minute, we can get out of here and I’ll take you back to your parents.” He tried to sound reassuring, though he wasn’t sure it worked as well as he’d intended when he was tugging and testing the thick ropes tied around his chest, waist, and legs. They were tight, but he managed to slide a hand free enough to shift and start slicing away at the restraints with his claw.

“Just Mom,” the boy said quietly. “Dad left.”

“Okay, we’re going to find your mom then. I’m sure she’s really missing you right now.” He figured that keeping a calm tone and easy conversation going was as good a plan as any while he worked on the ropes.

Andy shuffled a little in his cage, his face dipping down again into the shadows cast by the nearby fire. “She’s working. She’s always working. She promised I’d get to see Dad, but she couldn’t take me, so I went to find him myself.”

Which might explain why the boy hadn’t been reported missing yet. There was some give to the rope by his right hip, so he tilted his head and tried to look over at the boy and hoped he properly projected the sincerity of his words. “That doesn’t mean she’s not missing you, Andy. I know she’s probably very worried. She – “

The stench assaulted him first, sour and rancid, before he felt the whole space shake with a reverberating thud. Andy quickly scooted back into the corner of his cage with a scared squeak, leaving Derek to turn and search out the source in the dim light. An old woman came into view near the foot of his table, posture bent and face haggard, each of her steps sending tiny shockwaves through the cave. Her long, gray hair hung in a greasy, unkempt mess, framing a crooked nose and a gap-toothed, mirthless grin. She resembled the picture Stiles had shown him on his phone, but the younger man had neglected to mention one thing. She was a fucking giant!

The whole cave suddenly felt cramped, and her looming presence caused his heartrate to spike. He worked faster on his ropes.

“Good dog. You’re too old and gristly for my liking, but if my lads want a pet, a pet they will get,” she said in a voice deeper than he’d expected. She patted his stomach dismissively as she passed, and he fought hard not cry out at the jarring, painful contact. “Now, where’s my little snack? Little boy for a little snack. Little boy snack.” She cackled at her own wit.

He heard Andy whimper again as the old, giant crone ambled her way over to the cage, and he wanted to tell the boy to be brave, to hold on because he was almost through his rope. Yet, as he was about to do just that, he caught the scent of metal and electricity in the air. It cut through the myriad of other unpleasant smells like an olfactory beacon, clear and crisp and a harbinger of something – or someone – familiar. He couldn’t help but smile a little at the arrival of the calvary, even as Andy shrieked when the witch pulled him roughly from the cage and shuffled over to the boiling pot.

Then, several things happened at once. First, voices that sounded like the disembodied laughter he’d heard earlier came from somewhere outside. This time, however, they were shouting out in distress, intermingled with the familiar voices of his pack. The cries gave the witch pause for a split second, just as he cut through the last of his restraints and pulled free. After that, he was up and leaping through the air, aiming to get Andy free of the old woman’s clutches and away from the fire. And he managed just that, wrapping his arms around the boy as he clawed at the large hand that held him. But he underestimated the reaction speed of the crone, and barely managed to turn his body to shield Andy before her other hand swatted his side. He landed with bone-cracking impact against the boiling pot, adrenalin enhancing his movements as he rolled quickly to avoid landing on the fire or getting splattered by the hot liquid in the toppling vat. He was pretty sure he’d probably cracked a few ribs, but they were already healing. Andy seemed none the worse for wear when he looked down, unhurt and safe in his arms still.

“My boys! What are they doing to my boys?” the witch wailed.

Derek tensed briefly, thinking the giantess would take her surprise and anger out on him. He readied himself for a fight, but instead, she turned and marched the other way, he and Andy seemingly forgotten. He eased himself up with a barely suppressed groan, and let the small body pressed against his chest slide down to his lap. He could hear the pack outside, the growls of the wolves and the foreign-sounding chants from Stiles, and he knew that they had it handled.

“You okay?” he asked as he gave Andy a good once-over.

The boy simply nodded, his whole body still trembling. Then, without a word, he leaned forward and hugged Derek as if his life depended on it. Not sure how else to respond, Derek hugged the child back.

That was how Stiles found them a few minutes later when he stumbled clumsily into the cave. After some coaxing, they both managed to talk Andy into finally letting go. Scott took it from there, coming in to take the boy away to find the Sheriff, who had been called to the area when Stiles had triangulated Derek’s location. Stiles waited a moment after Scott had left before he turned and threw himself into Derek’s arms.

“Oh, thank every deity I just prayed to you’re okay. Had me worried.”

Derek squeezed the warm, lithe body clinging to him like an octopus, and bent down to briefly nuzzle his partner’s neck. He breathed in the fortifying scent that was simply Stiles and used it to ground himself after the crazy events that had just happened. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’m fine.”

“I know. You’re one tough son of a bitch, but the uncertainty always gets me.” Stiles pulled away and gave him a look with those ridiculously wide Bambi-like eyes that made Derek’s insides go warm. “And of course, you would go all superhero and save a child while we saved you. With the way the boy was holding on to you, I thought you’d replaced me with a cuter, newer model.”

Derek quirked up his lip into a lopsided, half-smile. “Never,” he returned easily. “If I did, I would at least try to get a good trade-in price for you.”

“Smartass.” As his comeback, Stiles smacked his arm with the back of his hand. He then slipped said hand into Derek’s, intertwined their fingers, and started walking out of the cave. “See if I ever send baddies back through an intercontinental gate for you again.”

“So, she wasn’t a witch?” Derek asked as he followed Stiles’ lead out of the cave

“Oh, no, she was a witch. The giantess witch, Gryla, and her sons, the Yule Lads. I don’t know how they got here, but I was working off of some quick and dirty research, so the best I could do was track down caves in the area, which is what the literature says she tends to favor, and find a spell to send her back to her native Iceland.”

Derek silently listened as Stiles explained what had happened, both grateful and proud – and not for the first or last time either – at the quick wit and resourcefulness of the guy he got to call his. They eventually emerged from the cave, and he immediately felt lighter the moment he could smell the fresh earth and foliage again. The sun was beginning to set, creating lengthening shadows of the redwoods and the oaks that stood like sentinels around them. And with that came a distinct chill in the air. He felt Stiles shiver at the lower temperature, and wished he’d had his jacket around to offer the other man. The jacket that he’d exchanged for …

With his free hand, he reached into his jeans pocket where he’d tucked the locket earlier, and –

Shit!

Without another thought, he turned and sprinted back into the cave. He quickly scanned the area and did not see the locket anywhere. His eyes then fell on the overturned pot and the still-burning embers of the woodfire. A dash of panic began to taint his actions, but he didn’t stop to quell it. Instead, he rushed over to the dying fire and started digging through the ashes. His hands burned and healed almost simultaneously as he dug desperately through the charred wood, an odd combination of frustration and helplessness clouding his judgement.

“Derek?”

He heard Stiles, but didn’t answer, mainly because his fingers wrapped around a clump of metal just then. He looked down at what used to be Stiles’ mother’s locket, the piece now misshapen by the heat and bearing no resemblance to what it used to be. He dropped the thing, both dejected and angry. This was supposed to be the year. This was supposed to be the Christmas where he would show Stiles how much the younger man meant to him by putting the care and thought into his gift that Stiles had always put into his. But everything… everything had been for nothing.

“Derek? What’s wrong? You okay?” Stiles approached and knelt beside him, looking ready to join him in whatever he was searching for.

He brushed the soot and ash off his hands, shook his head, and stood up. “Nothing. I’m good. Just thought I dropped something but I was wrong. C’mon, let’s go home.”

Puzzled, Stiles stood too, though he didn’t pry, and together, they made their way out of the cave once more, but not before Derek threw one last, longing glance at the pile of ashes.

(***)

“Oh, my god, I’m so stuffed,” Stiles said as he plopped down on the couch and rubbed his belly. “I might have to be rolled off to bed later because there’s no way I’m standing up.”

Derek smiled softly at the younger man’s dramatics, and joined him on the sofa. Christmas dinner had been an intimate one again between just the two of them, with Derek doing most of the preparation, while Stiles had ‘helped’. He didn’t mind though. He enjoyed their time together. The way they fit together, their ease with each other … it had all been hard-won, and he wouldn’t trade it for anything. The younger man had chatted animatedly throughout the meal and Derek had let him go on, wanting to prolong the whole thing because, if he was being honest, he was dreading what would happen afterwards: their gift exchange.

“Merry Christmas, Derek,” Stiles said, as if reading his thoughts. He reached over to the end table and grabbed an unevenly wrapped gift.

Derek stared at the thing for a moment, just knowing deep down it would be a typical Stiles present, all special and personal. Why did Stiles even stay with him? He must come across as an unthoughtful, unappreciative jerk. Slowly, he unwrapped the gift, and revealed a collage of artfully arranged photographs. There were trees and flowers and butterflies dancing on sunbeams across open trails. They were beautiful, more so in that Derek recognized where they had been taken: the preserve.

“You sometimes talk about how you grew up in the preserve,” Stiles explained. “How it’s a second home to you, and how you have all those memories with your family there. I know the memories are special, so I went and took some pictures during summer break. I hope these help you remember all those good times.”

Derek blinked away the prickling he felt in his eyes. Stiles may have assumed he was touched by the gift, which was fine. He didn’t need to know what Derek was really feeling. He didn’t need to know that in that moment, he thought Stiles really deserved so much better than him.

“Thank you. It’s perfect,” he choked out. “I – “ He didn’t know how to continue. What else could he say? “My present isn’t –“

He stopped. Stiles looked at him expectantly. Not finding the right words, he leaned over to the coffee table and grabbed the last-minute gift bag he’d filled the day before. “Here.”

He looked away while Stiles eagerly dug into the bag. He knew what was in there, and he didn’t need to see the lackluster reaction the younger man would have at the assortment of Reese’s candies he’d find.

“Oh, this is awesome, Derek!” Stiles exclaimed excitedly. “Holy shit, there’s a half pound peanut butter cup in here! Hello, Heaven!”

Derek felt Stiles’ arms wrap around him in gratitude, but he couldn’t find it in himself to return the gesture. The younger man seemed to notice and pulled back. “Derek?”

He turned and took in Stiles’ questioning gaze. He couldn’t do this. They complemented each other so well in everything, but somehow, in this, they were completely mismatched. “Doesn’t it bother you?” he asked in earnest.

“What?”

“My gifts. Doesn’t it bother you that my gifts are so … so bad. Yours are always so … so perfect.” It felt good to get that off his chest.

Stiles gawked at him as if he was speaking a foreign language. “Huh? But I think your gifts are perfect. And that’s not a lie. You can tell, right?”

True, Derek hadn’t heard any change in the other man’s heartrate to indicate otherwise, but no one could like his choice of gifts that much. “I just ... I wanted to show you how much I appreciate you, how much I care about you, the same way to do for me, especially with the gifts you give me. But I can’t seem to do that.” This was uncharted territory for him, this admission. He wasn’t used to revealing his insecurities like this. Yet, this was Stiles he was talking to, he reminded himself. Stiles, who never had any shame in revealing his every failure and weakness, and who gave his trust without fear of being hurt. Derek owed him the same. “I found your mother’s locket,” he finally said. “The one from the album you showed me. I found it, and was going to give it to you, but I lost it when we fought that witch last week. I’m sorry.”

He stared at the coffee table. He stared at the discard wrapping paper of the collage he’d just received. He started at everything but Stiles.

And then, “That’s what you were worried about? Not being able to show me you loved me?” Stiles’ tone was incredulous, and it was enough for Derek to turn his attention to the younger man again. “You’re an idiot, Derek,” Stiles continued. “For the record, your presents are awesome. But that’s not the point. You drive three hours each way to visit me on campus every other weekend. You cook Christmas dinner for us every year. You help me pack for college each fall. You drop everything and meet me in a forest, no questions asked, when I call. You even spent all night picking zombie guts out of my hair. If that doesn’t say ‘love’, I don’t know what does!”

To put an exclamation to his point, Stiles pulled him in for a long, lingering kiss. “I love you, Derek Hale, and I know you love me. You don’t need to give me things to show me that. You show me every day in the things you do. And that’s more than enough.”

Derek looked at the man sitting beside him, stunned and at a loss. “I –“

“It’s more than enough,” Stiles re-stated firmly. “Now, stop your self-flagellation, and show me how much you appreciate my gift by kissing me.”

Stiles pulled him in again, and this time, Derek did put everything he had into that kiss because the weight of those heartfelt words were slowly sinking in. He loved Stiles. And Stiles … Stiles knew that. He groaned in appreciation at the true gift he’d been given as he pushed the younger man down onto his back, bracing his weight on his arms as he ground their hips together. Fuck it, he felt like he’d really won the lottery in finding Stiles … because Stiles was right, he realized as he deepened their kiss, tasting and teasing the smart, sarcastic, and silly man beneath him.

This … This was more than enough.

[very-grownup]

THE YEAR IS 2020 AND I WATCHED NEON GENESIS EVANGELION FOR THE FIRST TIME, PART 9

Episode 21.

Suddenly it's a found footage shakey cam horror movie. I think it's meant to be footage of ... NERV before it was NERV labs in 2000 with some bad shit happening. I'm unclear of so much in this episode, guys.

There is one of those blue screens with the white text that warns you that if you make copies of this you will go to jail for a million years, though, which feels nice and nostalgic before we get into the opening credits. (Opening? Still a bop. Thank you, '90s.)

Episode 21 continues behind the cut.

Someone has been kidnapped from NERV, possibly by or because of Kaji (fuckin' Kaji), and because all these NERV people are interchangeable except for Misato, Ritsuko, and Shinji's horrible father, I have no idea who it is until we see the old dude who is usually behind Ikari. He's tied to a chair in a black void, surrounded by an increasing number of numbered obelisks who I think are the old man Simon council but instead of projecting as old men they're ... obelisks. Look, their government is run by supercomputers named after the Magi. This is as fine as anything.

The obelisks don't like Commander Ikari (same) or what he's doing (same) and want Number 2 to explain what's going on (same) due to the Dead Sea Scrolls and their desire not to create god (... same?). Which means it's time for BACKSTORY or as close as this show gets to backstory.

Number 2 used to be a scientist/academic at ... a school ... lab ... university ... somewhere ... where he met a promising young student of ... science stuff ... named Ikari. There's some sentence vagaries to make the audience think the student is a young Commander Ikari but PSYCH, it's /Yui/, Shinji's mysteriously dead mother. This is not a big surprise, because no one would be anticipating meeting Gendo Ikari. What is a surprise is that Yui Ikari is currently single, although if you've consumed enough Japanese media you've probably encountered cases where a husband takes the wife's surname and is adopted into her family when there's no sons in the family (Summer of the Ubume). ANYWAY Yui is currently single and Number 2 talks to her about her post-graduation career plans, failing to consider that maybe she wants to get married and start a family. Find your own path and all that but also: this is a woman who is going to make terrible life choices.

I don't know why, but as a favour to Yui, Number 2 goes to spring an absolute piece of shit ... fellow student? from the drunk tank after he got arrested for brawling and it is, of course, Gendo Originalsurnamewhocareshesucks. We see him without his glasses for the first time. Even though this is ~15 years ago, Gendo without his glasses is the worst thing ever, rivaling yes the EVA with the giant white human teeth ripping an Angel apart and screaming. I hate looking at him, his cheeks sunken and his eyes huge, very like a skull. The real thesis material in Evangelion is: why has anyone ever slept with this awful gaunt uncharming skull man? He has the visage and personality of someone whose genetic line should die with him.

On a nature walk (because this is before seasons are destroyed by the second impact [and this is a really pretty scene, too, all fall leaves and oranges and red, more vibrant yet gentle than the series often is]) Yui reveals to Number 2 that she and Gendo are in a relationship. Why? Look, that's some Dead Sea Scrolls bullshit, learn ancient Hebrew and get into archeology, unearth some tablets, figure it out for yourselves.

The Second Impact happens and destroys Antarctica and Misato's father and she becomes mute for a while after this and also is kept in a featureless hospital cell for observation with a few age appropriate toys for company and for some reason this doesn't help her mental trauma. No wonder her roommate's a penguin.

The Misato flashback may seem like it comes out of nowhere and if so /hey welcome to my experience of this episode/ where I mostly had my hands on my forehead like I needed to reinforce my brain to process everything.

Number 2 and Shitty Gendo are in Antarctica after the Second Impact with the neon pink ocean and the none ice and oh Gendo and Yui got married. Surprise! Gendo and Yui or Gendo through Yui are involved in something called Seele which is the thing that becomes NERV I think. What's going on /shut up I don't know/ there's some kind of secret science government military organization and it involves the Ikari and then Number 2 and also Ritsuko's mother and underground caverns that may be cities and is this Atlantis? Ancient aliens? Akashic records? I DON'T KNOW Number 2 has concerns and Yui both seems to agree with Number 2's concerns but also is down with whatever Gendo's doing and they have Shinji and he seems like a pretty happy and cute baby and Yui seems to love him even though she brings him to work. And by work I mean the underground lab where they're dissecting or recreating flesh tube skeletons from Adam or building Adam or using Adam to build what will be the Evas, specifically on the day Yui is doing The Experiment. I don't think bringing little Shinji to work is a great idea or a sign of great parenting, especially when The Experiment goes awry and Yui is killed in front of Shinji's toddler eyes.

Ritsuko's mother, Dr. ... Doctor, doesn't approve of kids in the secret mad scientist bunker but MAN does she approve of Yui being killed. Because, somehow, she also wants to fuck Gendo Ikari, a skeleton of emotional abuse and neglect wearing sausage casing as skin.

There's also some stuff here about young Ritsuko (she's not a natural blonde! but honestly the fleeting glimpses of Ritsuko at different ages in this episode show greater awareness of how women can change without just relying on bigger breasts more hair than I'd expect). She and her mother exchange letters where they seem to be more honest with each other than they are in person and I wish there was more time spent dwelling in that, because Evangelion has an imperfect but still insightful view of the complexity of mother-daughter relationships. She goes away to school and meets Misato and they bond and become friends and they each seem to be the other's first friend due to their various issues and weirdness and Ritsuko's clearly at least a little in love with Misato. Unfortunately, Misato is dating Kaji (fuckin' Kaji) and Dr. Doctor thinks Kaji is a pretty great catch, but like ... Dr. Doctor wants to fuck or possibly is fucking Gendo Ikari, so if you can think of a great condemnation of Kaji than this, I'd love to hear it (fuckin' Kaji).

Misato and Ritsuko both join Seele or NERV or whatever the fuck these secret awful organizations are currently calling themselves, with Misato going to Germany and Ritsuko starting to work with her mother and also seeing her mother just jamming her tongue down Gendo's throat. Truly, Ritsuko could never understand her mother as a woman and neither can we, because /why would you desire Gendo Ikari/ and his judgmental touch, icy even through fucking Mickey Mouse gloves.

SO ONE DAY Gendo comes to work with a young Rei and I guess since Yui died no one has seen Shinji since people are looking at Rei and going 'oh is this your son?' and 'I thought you had a son, not a daughter'. But no, Rei is the daughter of a friend Gendo is looking after. Imagine thinking 'Gendo Ikari has even a single friend' is a believable lie.

Since Yui's death, no one has bothered to institute any kind of secret underground lab rules about kids on the premises, because while Dr. Doctor is doing some shit with her O. Henry super computers, little Rei wanders in and proceeds to neg the shit out of this grown woman. They're obviously not the words of a child and it's been clear since the beginning that there's something Not Right about Rei, but when she tells Dr. Doctor that she's a sexually undesirable hag and a nagging shrew and has outlived her purpose they're the words of a man. An adult man, specifically Gendo Ikari, as Rei just straight up tells Dr. Doctor upon being scolded for rudeness. Dr. Doctor's poor judgment of character means she is semi-shocked and hurt by this and sent into a weird fugue state where she chokes Rei until a small arm goes limp. Dr. Doctor thinks about how both she and Rei are both equally replaceable to Gendo, who is still hung up on Yui as much as he seems able to have an emotional attachment to anyone, and so finds all other women to be interchangeable tools.How replaceable Rei is could be a reference to whatever Rei's unnatural origins are, but we've also seen that Gendo considers children to be a renewable and easily disposable resource.

Then Dr. Doctor kills herself (or is murdered, who can say) and gets ... replaced by her daughter in the project.

SO I GUESS THIS IS ALL PART OF NUMBER 2'S TESTIMONY TO THE OBELISKS or maybe not but his thing is done or on break and fuckin' Kaji is there to ... break him out? Even though he's the reason Number 2 was getting interrogated? I don't know, I don't know.

They only use one set of handcuffs for Number 2, but they had three on Shinji in the previous episode.

Misato also had some thing with security intelligence interrogation going on in this episode maybe but they're done and give her back her gun.

Then Kaji's hanging out in a Silent Hill otherworld before a giant fan in weird sickly light and the screen goes black with a gunshot and I don't believe he's dead because I've been fooled about fuckin' Kaji before.

... but then Misato comes home, looking utterly exhausted and devastated, and she sees the message light blinking on her answering machine and she presses play as tears fill her eyes and she collapses to her knees listening to a message from Kaji. He apologizes for causing her trouble yet again, asks her to apologize to Ritsuko as well, asks her to get Shinji to show her where his garden is so she can water the flowers for him, and promises to tell her what he was too scared to tell her years ago. Misato's crying becomes heartwrenching raw sobs (Kotono Mitsuishi does a great job here, breaking my heart) and Shinji, curled up in his room, takes out his headphones and peeks into the kitchen to take in this vision of distraught, helpless adult grief. Then he goes back to his room without alerting Misato to his presence and pulls his pillow over his head, trying to drown out Misato's sobs, because he's just a kid and he knows there's nothing he can do and so he doesn't know what he /should/ do.

Although I've been wanting it for episodes, Kaji's death becomes a bitter pill that I can feel no mean satisfaction from. I'm not sure what's going on, but I know Misato's distraught. This concludes my report on Episode 21 of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

[holylulusworld]

Bad neighbors Part 2 – Double the trouble

When Bucky moves into your apartment complex new problems need to get resolved.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: angst, language, noise complaints, arguments, love-hate relationship, tension, smut, unprotected sex, nakedness

Bad neighbors - Masterlist

“Oh…fuck…right there, Steve. I’m right there.” You scream as Steve plunges into you. His hips slam into yours, leaving bruises for sure. His hands grip the headboard and it creaks dangerously as he ruts against you.

“Baby, you know what I want to hear.” Steve growls as you hold tight onto his back for dear life.”

Captain, oh…god, Captain so good.” You cry on the top of your lungs as he pushes you violently over the edge. Scratching your nails down his back you grip his ass, pushing him deeper as he comes, purring into your neck.

A blink later you hear someone yelling, slamming his fist into the wall. “Shut up over there! Other people try to sleep. Stop fucking for once.” Bucky yells and you chuckle, hiding your face into Steve’s chest.

“Don’t be a spoilsport, Buck. I haven’t seen or fucked my girl in three weeks.” Steve yells and you whine.

“Steve, he’s right. We were loud as fuck.” You whisper.

“Then he needs headphones or a better sex life. Either way, I’m not done with you.” Steve whispers.

“How can you be hard again?” Gasping you feel him pulling out only to flip you onto your stomach, pushing back into you. “Steve…”

“Shh…I know what my girl needs. Look at you, such a bad neighbor to Bucky, all the time. Screaming my name, crying out…moaning.” Steve teases starting to rock his hips as you bite the pillow to avoid disturbing Bucky once again.

Steve has other plans. Pounding you into oblivion with every powerful stroke of his cock he makes you whimper, moan and cry out in pleasure.

“Dammit! You two are like rabbits!” Bucky starts yelling once again as Steve picks up the pace.

With every hard snap of his hips, he rams the headboard into the wall. Your neighbor is yelling and cursing.

You can hear his feet stomp out of the room as you whine underneath Steve, close to another high. Right before you can cum someone is harshly knocking at your and Steve’s apartment door.

Ignoring his friend Steve gropes your breasts, simply pumping harder and faster into you. You are a screaming mess underneath the tall Avenger as the knocking gets louder, more demanding.

“Oh, Steve…god…fuck…” You curse and he fists your hair, ramming into you in a maddening pace.

“You better cum for your Captain before Bucky breaks the lock,” Steve warns and you try everything to ignore the knocking and only concentrate on the pleasure your boyfriend brings you.

Curses leave his lips as he spanks your cheek with his free hand, causing you to gasp. Another slap makes you moan louder as you start pulsing around his thick shaft.

“Cum, now.” Steve orders and a strangled cry leaves your lips as you collapse on the bed. Steve isn’t done with you. Still lazily thrusting into you he growls as Bucky won’t stop knocking.

“Just a minute.” Steve chuckles stilling his movement, filling you up to the brim. “I guess he’s just jealous, Baby. Give me a minute or two and we can go for round three.”

“No. We can’t disturb your friend even more.” You whine as another slap hits your cheek, pressing a moan out of you.

----

“Move into my girls’ old apartment, you said. We can have fun, you said. No one will disturb you, you said.” Bucky mutters. “You are loud as fuck, punk. I can’t sleep a single night as you are busy railing this girl.”

“Her name is Y/N and she’s not just a random girl, she’s my girl. I know we were loud and I’m sorry. We try to not disturb you tonight or any night again. I will have to gag her I guess. What a pity, Buck. I love her being loud…” Steve chuckles and Bucky gulps hard.

Watching you walk out of the bedroom only wearing one of Steve’s dress shirts Bucky licks his lips. Your legs on full display he admires the smooth skin, the little tattoo at your ankles…Steve’s cum dripping down your thighs.

“Buck…you with us?” Steve smirks seeing the look on his friend’s face.

“Sure, Steve. Just keep it low for tonight. You are like animals…” Bucky mutters storming toward his apartment, a raging hard one in his pants.

----

Over the next days, you try to be as silent as possible, which is a hard task while Steve is making you feel so good. At least you were able to not disturb Bucky for three days.

Steve is watching you as you are busy making breakfast for you and him. Wearing only one of his old shirts you bend over and a growl leaves his lips. Your brain barely has time to recognize you got placed onto the kitchen count legs spread open before he’s on you.

“Fucking beautiful,” Steve growls diving in. He’s feasting on you like an animal starving while your aching core greedily welcomes his attention, so you scream his title and Bucky starts yelling once again.

“I’m sorry…god…so sorry.” You scream while Steve nips and licks at your tender flesh. You try anything to remain silent, but Steve won’t let you. Three fingers slip into your slick channel, curling, searching for the spot making you cry out for him.

Steve has a smug grin all over his face when the first scream leaves your lips. Bucky is less amused, furious he rams his fist into the wall, yelling and cursing as you cry out in pleasure, sobbing, whining as Steve won’t stop. He wants to break you completely, drown you into pleasure.

----

Days later Steve left for a mission and you baked some cupcakes and cookies for Bucky to tell him you are sorry. He’s glaring at you, a smirk on his lips as you try to find the right words.

“I’m sorry.” You mumble. “I tried to be silent, I swear but sometimes Steve won’t let me…I will try harder. I never wanted to disturb you, James.”

There’s something sinister all over Bucky’s face before he starts talking.

“Don’t worry, doll. According to what I saw during the last missions, you won’t last long. I bet Steve is bored by now.” Bucky spats and you look at him in confusion.

“What do you mean?” You gasp.

“Doll, Stevie is with Sharon, okay. He was kissing her. In the morning I saw her leaving his hotel room, hair a mess, hickeys all over her neck…” Bucky lies, and you are close to tears.

Three years and now he’s cheating on you?

“Oh…I see.” You whisper letting the tears fall. “I was only fun then, no one special.” You sniffle and Bucky gulps hard.

“It thought it’s all about fun.” He gasps and you shake your head.

“No, I thought he loves me because I do love him. I should pack my stuff to make space for this girl, Sharon then. You can keep the plate, it’s Steve’s either way.”

----

Three days later Steve comes back from his mission only to find you and all your belongings are gone. You left a short message that now he has enough space for Sharon, that you don’t want to hear him saying you have to leave.

“What...? Bucky…” Steve snarls ripping his door open to knock at his friend's door, ready to rip him apart.

“Steve…uh…hey…” Bucky stammers.

“What did you do?” Steve yells.

“I was mad and lied. Told her you and Sharon are a thing. I didn’t know about her feelings for you.”

“You destroyed my relationship only as I was too loud during sex? God…she must be…I bet she’s crying her eyes our right now. You could’ve told me. It was my fault, I made her scream. She tried anything to remain silent.” Steve curses grabbing the hem of Bucky’s shirt. “How could you do this to her only as she was a bit too loud?”

“It’s not only … I… fuck I like her…okay. I was jealous. The smile she gives you, the way she looks up at you and all the noises she makes for you. I was not a good friend. Let me make it up to you…her…” Bucky admits.

“You are into Y/N and instead of telling her so you hurt her…? Since when do we play stupid games? I always shared with you. According to the looks, my girl gives you she wouldn’t mind sharing with you.” Steve deadpans and Bucky gulps hard.

“UH—fuck. She’s at her sister's place. We need to get her…”

----

“Will you tell me what happened?” Your sister asks.

“The man I love cheated on me and the other guy I like was happy about it. He rubbed it right into my face, sis.” You sniffle as the doorbell rings.

“Just a minute, Y/N.”

Your eyes drift toward the picture of your sister and her husband. You will never have someone loving you like this…no one ever loved you like this.

“Y/N, thank god I found you.” Steve sighs kneeling next to you. “Everything Bucky said was a lie. I swear I never even looked at someone else.”

“He said you are with Sharon.” You whisper as Bucky enters your sisters living room, looking guilt-ridden.

“I lied, doll. I was mad as you were loud during…” Seeing your sister enter the room Bucky clears his throat. “…washing the dishes.” He lies.

“That’s the reason you hurt me?” You sniffle.

“Buck…tell her…” Steve orders and your eyes meet stormy blue ones. Bucky tries to find the right words but Steve is faster. “He’s into you. Got off listening to us having sex.” Steve blurs out and your sister chuckles.

“Stevie!” Bucky mutters. “You said I can tell her…”

“Wait…you are into me?” Dumbfounded you look up at Bucky as he nods, ashamed. “Oh…OH! Instead of telling us so you just lied to hurt me? That’s childish, Barnes.” You mutter.

“Will you come home, Y/N? Please. I never looked at another woman.” Steve pleas and you refuse to look him in the eyes.

“Steve…I can’t as I was looking at another man.”

“Bucky doesn’t count. We can find a solution.” Steve shrugs and you gulp hard.

“Solution?” Gasping you lick your lips.

“I was always good at sharing things with Buck. Now let’s get home and we can discuss things…”

----

“That’s it…scream my name!” Bucky growls as you paw at his back. One of your neighbors starts yelling as you cry out in pleasure.

“I guess we are no longer double the trouble…” You chuckle as Steve opens his pants…

All works Tags

@yolobloggers, @meganywinchester​, @shikshinkwon​, @miraclesoflove ​, @mogaruke, @shatteredabby

Marvel Tags

@stuckys-whore, @notyourtypicalrose, @voltage-my2dlove, @thedoctorscamanion , @officialmarvelwhore, @randomgirlkensy, @juniorhuntersam, @lumar014, @doctorswife221b, @badboysdoitbetter2​, @sister-winchesters99

Steve Rogers/Chris Evans Tags

@hhiggs​

[rosedavid]

hi! can you please write a fic where tj tries to teach cyrus to play basketball but he gets a little hurt, so tj patches him up? thanks!

i liked writing this prompt, so thank you so much! :) it ended up kind of angsty, but also sweet and fluffy. I hope you enjoy!!

Basketball Daze

“I want to learn how to play basketball,” Cyrus declares all the sudden.

TJ lifts himself up from his previous position against Cyrus’s chest with a grumble of objection. As he props his elbow underneath him to get a better look at Cyrus, his blonde hair flops across his forehead. His face is red and textured from laying against Cyrus’s shirt. In other words, to Cyrus, he’s never looked cuter.

TJ frowns, “Basketball? What brought that on? I thought you hated any sort of physical activity.”

Cyrus sighs, swinging his legs off the bed to go and splay the curtains away from the window. Sunlight bursts throughout the room. The intensity causes TJ to squint and flop back down onto the bed with a tired groan.

“We could just stay here and cuddle more,” TJ whines, burying his head into Cyrus’s pillow.

“We’re wasting this beautiful, sunny day!” Cyrus responds. “Also, we live in Shadyside, so who knows how long it will last.” 

When TJ makes no effort to move, Cyrus comes over to tug his wrist insistently. “Come on, Teej, you’ve been wanting to teach me how to play forever, right?”

“Yeah,” TJ agrees, finally sitting upright with Cyrus’s help. “I guess I’m just confused as to why today of all days you’re so persistent.”

Cyrus shrugs, “Why not? I’m feeling peppy today, and my legs were getting restless laying there.”

TJ struggles to stand up, tripping over his own feet a few times. “Wait, you weren’t sleeping? Were you just watching me sleep?!”

“Maybe…” he trails off, cheeks reddening as he goes to defend himself. “You just look so soft and peaceful when you sleep!”

TJ tosses a pair of sneakers to him in response, but Cyrus can see the obvious blush he attempts to hide. He grins, still not over the fact that he makes TJ Kippen blush like that. It’s just another amazing privilege that comes with being his boyfriend. Honestly, sometimes it just all feels too good to be true. After they confessed to each other on the bench at Andi’s party, Cyrus walked home in a daze. When he woke up the next morning, he remembers frantically texting TJ to make sure it wasn’t all just a crazy fever dream.

Now, the two of them have fallen into a nice rhythm. After the few weeks of awkwardness that comes with any new relationship, they quickly began to figure things out. Both of them know each other’s schedules by heart at this point, so much so that they’ll meet each other outside of their classroom doors. Cyrus always comes to TJ’s practices when he can, and TJ makes sure to help Cyrus find inspiration for his creative writing course. Then, after school, they’ll either hang out by themselves or with their friends if they can. Weekends, though, are Cyrus’s favorite. Not only is there no school, but him and TJ always try to plan a date night during the weekend. Usually it’s nothing fancy, but it’s always just the two of them. They soon become the highlight of Cyrus’s week.

“Come on Romeo,” TJ comments, “Let’s get going! I always keep a spare basketball in my backpack.”

Cyrus starts laughing, but stops when he sees the serious expression on TJ’s face.

“Wait, seriously?!”

A confused expression pops up on TJ’s face. “Yes seriously!”

Unable to hold back, Cyrus starts snickering again, “TJ…”

“Don’t ‘TJ’ me! Not when you keep winter gloves and hats in your bag constantly.”

“You never know when you could need them!”

“Cy…it’s May.”

“My point still stands. Did you know once it snowed during a week in August, which is typically the hottest time of the year in Shadyside?”

TJ smiles, stepping forward and pressing a kiss to the top of Cyrus’s head.

“You’re so smart,” he says, “and adorable.”

Once more, a blush heats up Cyrus’s face, this time spreading to the tips of his ears. Before he can get even more red, he grabs his bag and pulls TJ out the door with him.

They decide to walk to the park since Cyrus’s house has no sort of basketball hoop (of course), and TJ’s house is further away. Sure enough, the sunlight spreads across them. The sky is so blue it looks like a swatch of blue paint you find at a home improvement store. The air smells like cotton and blossoming flowers. Although the telltale signs of spring linger everywhere, the tops of the mountains remain capped with snow.

When they arrive at the outdoor basketball courts, there’s hardly anyone else there. Cyrus sighs in relief, grateful that no one will see him utterly fail at basketball, but he has to at least try. Honestly, Cyrus thought he’d just be able to ignore the comments. There aren’t many, nor are they usually stated cruel or outright, but Cyrus knows what they mean.

“Oh, this is your boyfriend! He doesn’t look like a sports guy.”

“Cyrus, good to see you again. We’d invite you to come, but we know you can’t do this kind of stuff.”

“You should really learn some more about sports since TJ is so interested in them.”

“Us basketball guys love to talk sports with each other all the time when we hang out. What do you two do?”

Cyrus knows that he isn’t the type of guy a person like TJ would normally go for. In fact, Cyrus has been doubting himself a lot more recently. Maybe it’s because of the comments, but what if the comments are right? What if it’s a good thing that he heard them? After all, TJ seems to try and urge him to do more sporty things a lot more now than he used to. What if TJ wants someone who can talk and play sports with him?

So today, when Cyrus’s was awake with his thoughts, hand running through TJ’s hair, he made up his mind. He needs to learn to play basketball because he can’t lose this. He can’t lose one of the best things to ever happen to him.

“Okay, I’m going to teach you how to shoot today,” TJ begins, pulling out a fully inflated basketball from his bag just like he said.

TJ bounces the ball a few times. Meanwhile, Cyrus watches in awe as he dribbles without thinking. Making sure Cyrus is watching, TJ shoots the ball from where he stands. Not only is it a far distance, but it goes in without even hitting the rim. A perfect shot, as Buffy once told him.

“How are you so good?” Cyrus asks genuinely.

“I’m really not that good,” TJ answers, rubbing the back of his neck. “Besides, anyone can get good with enough practice!”

“I’m not so sure about that.”

TJ smiles softly, picking up the ball from the spot it rolled to. He comes up to Cyrus, handing him the ball. Cyrus stares at it, trying to mimic TJ’s position. Of course, he has absolutely no clue what he’s doing. TJ reaches behind him to adjust his hand position and stance. At this spot on the court, the basket is pretty close, but Cyrus still doesn’t know if he has enough strength to make it.

“Use this arm to shoot. The other arm is just for support,” TJ explains.

Once TJ gets him in the correct position, he steps back so Cyrus can try shooting. Cyrus has never felt so uncomfortable in his life. He never realized just how complex shooting a single basket could be, yet all of these players can do it in seconds. Shakily, Cyrus shoots with all his strength, not really thinking about aim. He stumbles back after he throws it.

The basketball soars straight past the net. At least it was high enough. Cyrus looks over his shoulder worriedly at TJ, gnawing his lip. Luckily, TJ doesn’t look upset, he simply jogs after the stray ball and picks it up from the grass.

“That was good for your first try!” TJ says, handing the ball back to him. “Let me show you how to aim better, though.”

They spend the next half hour trying to get Cyrus to shoot a basket. Cyrus feels like a lost cause at one point. Although TJ is patient with him, Cyrus thinks he can even see TJ wearing thin with Cyrus missing shot after shot. Every time Cyrus fails, he feels more frustrated with himself. Soon, he’s just shooting randomly with all his strength, hoping that he can get it in the basket by pure chance.

“Maybe we should try again tomorrow,” TJ suggests.

Sweat beads across Cyrus’s brow. He reaches to wipe it off with the back of his hand. The anger that’s been building in him courses through his bloodstream. He shakes his head, snatching the ball out of TJ’s grasp.

“No, I have to do this,” Cyrus argues, getting in position once more to shoot the ball.

TJ sighs, stepping forward, “Cy, you’re exhausted, and it’s hot out. It’s alright, you’ll be better with a fresh head tomorrow.”

He reaches for the ball, but Cyrus jerks away.

“I need to do this today!” Cyrus shouts. “I have to get this right.”

“Please, Cyrus—”

So fueled by his anger, Cyrus rips the ball away from TJ again and throws it at the basket as hard as he can. In doing so, though, he ends up tripping over his own feet from the force. TJ tries to catch him but can’t grab him in time. Cyrus falls hard onto the court, elbows and knees skidding across the pavement and chin bumping the ground.

Stinging pain erupts after he falls. His tongue tastes like blood. He must have bitten it. His chin throbs, and his elbows and knees burn angrily.

“Oh my god!” TJ gasps, kneeling by his side. “Are you okay?”

With all of his emotions and now the pain, Cyrus becomes overwhelmed. Before he can help it, tears start dripping down his cheeks and landing on the court below.

“Come here,” TJ whispers comfortingly, tugging Cyrus up into a sitting position.

He wraps his arms around the crying boy and tucks him into his chest, careful to mind Cyrus’s injuries. Cyrus bunches his fists in the fabric of TJ’s shirt and cries softly. Meanwhile, TJ just holds him close and rocks him gently, one hand running up and down his back to help soothe him. On the pavement below them, he sees splotches of Cyrus’s blood.

“Hey, hey,” TJ shushes. “What’s wrong?”

Cyrus pulls back with a sniffle. “It’s stupid, I’m sorry. I’m stupid.”

“You’re not stupid! Please, just tell me. I know it’s not just your scrapes.”

Cyrus nods, going to stand up, but he winces and his knee buckles. TJ makes sure to catch him this time before he clips the pavement again. Shakily, Cyrus regains his balance. He glances down at his arms and legs. Both his knees and elbows are torn apart, blood slowly trickling from the wounds. His touches his chin; it isn’t bleeding, but he has a feeling there will be a mark.

“Let’s talk about this after we get you patched up, okay?” TJ confirms.

Although his wounds sting, Cyrus can walk to his house with not many issues. TJ hovers close behind just in case. When they finally make it back, TJ immediately pushes Cyrus down on the sofa while he goes to scavenge Cyrus’s house for a first aid kit. Of course, since it’s Cyrus, the first aid kit isn’t difficult to find. He rushes back downstairs with it and sits beside him.

“I need to clean them,” TJ says, taking Cyrus’s leg and putting it in his lap.

Then, he gingerly begins wiping at his scrapes with antibacterial wash. Cyrus jerks at the burning sensation.

“I’m sorry, but we have to make sure it doesn’t get infected,” TJ apologizes.

“It’s ok.”

After the worst part is over, TJ begins applying Neosporin and bandaging his wounds up. While he’s doing this, Cyrus stares vacantly at the wall.

“What’s going on?” TJ wonders. “I’m worried about you.”

Cyrus sighs. “I just…a few people at school have said some things, and it made me realize that I’m not sporty in the least bit. Like, you love basketball and other sports, but I can’t even understand what’s going on. Any type of physical activity I can’t even do, really. And I don’t know, it just made me feel guilty because you deserve to date someone who you can do that kind of stuff with since you like it.”

TJ frowns, scooting in closer to Cyrus’s side. He meets Cyrus’s eyes and reaches over to cup his face with one hand.

“Cyrus, I may like sports, but I also like you. I have plenty of people to talk sports stuff with. So many, in fact, that it can get annoying. Plus, I love doing other stuff with you, no matter what it is. We could just sit in complete silence and do our homework, and I’d like it because you’d be there. You don’t need to try and impress me by trying to be a pro basketball player. That’s not who you are, and that’s okay, because I like Cyrus Goodman for who he is.”

“Really?” Cyrus asks shyly, tilting his face downward.

TJ puts a finger under his chin to tilt it back up. “Really.”

Then, TJ brings him into a gentle kiss, lips brushing. Cyrus melts into the kiss, moving his arm to wrap around TJ’s back.

Maybe basketball isn’t meant for Cyrus, but TJ certainly is.

[1985music]

Assembly of the Gods

Twon, If you're reading this it's too late my G. 

I'm never sure where to begin with these stories. Y'all remember when Nas spit a whole story backwards? Nevermind forget it. 

The year is 2013, I believe, and it's a rainy night in the fall. My boy Robbie Maxx drags my wife and I to a Meek Mill show in Teaneck NJ, just to peep the scene. The parking lot is a mad house of course. We had to wait in line and shit, which wasn't the vibe. We finally get in the spot, it's already packed and the opening acts are doing their thing. This one performer caught my attention. This short, energetic kid with his squad on stage with him screaming, "UPPERCLASS!". The young boy with the name "TWON" gleaming off his hat was spitting some fire with no fear or nervousness to a sold-out crowd in his hometown. Pretty dope performance overall. Soon after his exit from the stage Meek would come out and make is presence known. I knew that wasn't the last time I'd see or hear from that Twon guy. 

Some months later Maxx would headline a show at this spot called Mexicali Live (Debonair Lounge) and guess who he throws on the bill? You guessed it, TWONDON. It had been a while since I last saw the kid and this go-around the music was a bit different. He performed and did his thing much like the first time I saw him. He was chopping it up with his fans/supporters after his performance, so I had to wait to talk to him. I hate that sh*t. I was able to properly introduce myself and extend the invitation to collab. I'll admit our first encounter wasn't the greatest. It's always weird when a ni**a that doesn't know you tries to strike a conversation. He'll tell you. Although he knew of me as being Maxx's producer/engineer up until this point we hadn't had any extensive interaction. We exchanged info and that was that. He wasn't trying to hear anything I had to say that night though.

 Now it's 2014, I was floating around to different events in NYC. One in particular was a private album release party for Mobb Deep (RIP Prodigy). I want to say it was their last album, "The Infamous Mobb Deep." I'm coolin' in the spot for a little bit and guess who I bump in to? Of course, Twondon. The first thing he says to me is, "Damn B, you get around". At this point this ni**a finally realizes he can't escape the God. This time we got a chance to really chop it up. He mentioned to me he was looking for a new spot to record and a good engineer. I had to get my boy right. The first track we recorded together was, "Life's a Bitch" featuring AZ. I remember Twon asking me, "Yo B, can you somehow scratch in the Acapella of AZ from Nas' "Life's a Bitch"?” and explained how he wanted it to cut in and out of the hook. I remember thinking to myself, "This ni**a has no clue this my f**king BAG." To make a long story short my execution of what he requested was flawless. In past interviews Twon has mentioned that "Life's a Bitch" was when he found "His sound."

 Soon after Twon would make 1985 Sound Studio in Belleville, NJ his new home for recording. By this time I had already mixed a few singles for him including "4th and Inches" and "Run It" featuring Bizzy Crook and slew of others. There's this on-going thing where he'll say some sh*t like "Yo B, make me sound icy" and somehow I know what he means everytime. He also connected me with a few artists he knew including a young lyricist by the name of Dolla $ign Dunn who I continue to help with developing his sound as well. In the early stages of creating with Twon he had already had a lot of his beats picked out so he didn't really need me for production. I was just helping to cultivate that Upperclass sound through my mixing and mastering techniques. It wasn't until mid 2015 that discussions of his debut EP "Stay Golden" began to take shape. 

After a session one day Twon asked me about a beat I was creating on my ipad that I previewed on Instagram I think. No stories back then this was all timeline action. He said "That beat sound like me." 

I didn't think anything of it, I looped up the beat, added a few more elements to it and gave it up. No charge. That was the birth of the first single "Too Committed". He sat on the beat for a short time and came back to the studio and laid the 1st verse and the hook. Later on he told me that Smoke DZA would be blessing the record and executive producing the album "Stay Golden." 

"TWON!!? Antwon!! Wake your black ass up it's 1 in the afternoon..."   -Gloria's Intro (Mama Twondon) 

Twondon's “Stay Golden” album was released December 8, 2015, a day after my 30th Birthday. I was in Vegas my ni**a. The project was well received. The song "Million Dollar Babies" off that project racked up 600,000+ streams on Spotify alone. The whole roll-out for that project was dope. I go back and listen to that project sometimes and I love the way it sounds. It sounds just like the title, "Golden." So much work went into it and I enjoyed every minute of it. There are 10 mixes on "Too Committed" alone. Occasionally I will hear my wife bumping "All the Above." She's also partially responsible for placing "Too Committed" in the Indie film "King of Newark" (2016) 

After the success of that project we continued to create and build. The last few years I've watched Twondon evolve from rapper/lyricist to clothing designer to all-around entrepreneur. Yeah man, my boy was making clothes. I had to support him because the Upperclass Intl. collections were dope, simple as that. Every collection is limited pieces, so if you miss it for the week it's available it's over. His system is untouchable to say the least. He'll give you some dope music and then turn around and give you some fresh clothes. Young Nipsey traits for sure. The one piece I missed out on was this navy blue Upperclass hoodie he dropped. Still salty about that. He know. 

The inception of "God Complex" 

Summer of 2016 I locked in with my brother Josh. He would come to the crib on random days and cook up. Lay hooks, make beats etc. One of the hooks he laid was on "F**k What They Tryna Say," we both knew it was special. He laid it down and we never revisted it. Typical Josh sh*t. He's just a legendary soul. He's different. 

2017 I relocated to Atlanta. Twondon and I would maintain our working relationship and brother-hood from a far. We would send sessions back and forth, long ass facetime calls and sh*t. I would send beats sometimes and I stumbled across that joint "F**k What They Tryna Say" again, so I sent it to him. He didn't have anything in his catalog like it at the time. He wrote to it in about 45 minutes maybe less and sent me voice notes of the verses he had. Just undeniable flame. Since he didn't have a studio to record in at the time, I arranged to shoot back to Jersey to handle some business and record his verses. We linked up at a Sheraton I was staying at in Weehawken NJ overlooking New York City. I set up my laptop and microphone, we had some "God-Talk" and we got to work. Needless to say this record "Fuck What They Tryna Say" is about to be 4 years old by the time you guys hear it. Timeless vibes. Around the time we recorded that song I was still dealing with the indelible aftermath of my own personal police misconduct situation. It's documented that US Police had already shot and killed 72+ unarmed black males from 2015-2017. The numbers continue to rise. The message in that song is powerful, heavy and very clear, Fuck what they tryna say. We're not naive to what's happening in our communities, but as you can see we still thrive anyway. So we dont give a f**k what yall talking about. Plain and simple. 

"The skeletons in the closet is rising, the truth is louder than ever they kill us and televise it..." "FWTTS" - Twondon (feat Josh.GLPA) 

These last few years have made me realize how important the artist-engineer and artist-producer relationship really is. We've gotten so good at separating our business and personal lives that when this guy hits my line and simply says, "Mr. Ross," my response is normaly "Mr. Gibbs?”, I know something is coming. Would you believe we've spent the last 7 years developing his sound to what you hear today? I've mixed and mastered over 30 songs, 3 albums and 3 EPs for Twondon thus far. So many email threads, text messages, phone calls and overtime to bring to life that Upperclass sound you know him for. “God Complex” is just a cornerstone of what we've been able to build together on this journey of ours. Songs like “199$” and “Trips Up North,” are the creative by-product of our extensive conversations about life, man-hood, spirituality and how we are limitless in our thinking and resilient in what we pursue. We are Gods in our own right. Like Ye said, "I just told you who I thought I was, a God". Just respect it. Hope you enjoy this masterpiece. More music on the way. It's Upperclass ̡ 

Written by Brandon "Plan B '85" Ross 1985 Music 

Stream/Buy God Complex NOW

http://smarturl.it/GODCOMPLEXPACK

[karasuwu]

mha crushing on you hcs

a/n: first post!! i love these boys sm <3

izuku midoriya

he falls for you first. how could he not? you’re so sweet, kind, funny, pretty and so amazing!! he really, really, really likes you!

is constantly flustered around you. you make eye-contact and he literally almost faints.

finds it very hard to pay attention in class because of you. you’re just too pretty and cute and ah!!!

this poor boy. he’s absolutely w h i p p e d for you. and once he realises it, he falls in even deeper.

super jumpy and flustered around you.

in training, if you execute a move perfectly or kick someone’s ass, he’s blushing because you’re such a badass!! and you’re so hot!!

bonus points if you talk back to bakugo. izuku is so impressed and thinks you’re brave!!

izuku will offer to help you if you’re struggling in class with something. he’s is super smart and hard-working, so he’d offer to share his notes, tutor you after school, etc. while blushing like a tomato

lowkey stalks and takes notes of what your preferences are, what kind of pens you use, what movies you like, etc. he can’t help it!! everything you do is just so interesting to him

suddenly takes an interest in all the things that you like and joins clubs your in. uraraka and iida take notice of course, and tease him mercilessly. tsui, kaminari, and most of 1-a joins in teasing him as well when they find out. even bakugo joins in.

when deku and his heart finally can’t take it anymore, he will literally give pep-talks to himself in the mirror and practice confessing to you. he writes dozens of scripts, does research, asks classmates for help (mineta and denki were NOT helpful) and tries to come up with the perfect plan to ask you out.

buys some flowers + snacks he knows you like, etc.

you kinda get the feeling that he likes you because he’s always hovering, not too close but not far away either. he also always tries to talk to you, about anything or anything, but stutters or clams up. he’s honestly such a cute mess though.

 izuku decides to shoot his shot. he says the sweetest things when he confesses. he presents small gifts to you while rambling about everything he likes about you, how he fell for you so hard, how you make his heart jump, etc. he makes his strong emotions for you VERY clear. he ends with a shy “Will you go out with me?” and promises to try his very best to make you happy every day.

you are ecstatic, of course. he might start crying when you say yes to him. honestly, baby boy is just so overwhelmed and relieved that you like him back too.

will hug tightly you out of sheer joy and thank you again and again for giving him a chance. honestly, 100% a cutie and boyfriend material.

bakugo katsuki

thinks you’re annoying at first. doesn’t care much about you, but somehow, you catch his attention.

you don’t let him get away w/his bs or you almost kick his ass in a fight. either way, he’s impressed by you and your personality.

you two develop a playful yet intense rivalry of sorts. he mocks you, you sneer back at him, and so it goes. izuku is terrified by your relationship with bakugo.

aizawa had to break up a few of your first squabbles, but slowly, they become less violent and more teasing. he’s surprised and won’t admit impressed by your sharp tongue and quick wit.

slowly, bakugo warms up to you. he gives you advice during training and class and takes more notice of you. he even willingly pairs up with you sometimes!! you keep him on his toes and always challenge him to become a better version of himself, so naturally, he gravitates to you.

one day, in class, everyone catches bakugo smiling at you. not in a malicious way, but in a soft, almost fond look. you’re laughing at something bakugo said, and he’s just staring at you, taking in your beauty.

he’s also more sincere and appreciative of the things you do for him. like saving a seat for him at lunch, sharing your notes, etc. he’s not 100% nice to you, but he doesn’t insult you as much. tends to give backhanded compliments like “you’re not as shitty as the others”, etc. 

class 1-a is shook. they have never seen bakugo be like this?? ever??

kirishima will confront bakugo about you. bakugo realises that he’s fallen for you.

cue angry denial and a lot of explosive screaming (rip kirishima)

tries to push you away first, but soon realises that he hates not being around you. so, he probably just yells at you a lot more when you do something cute because it flusters him.

pining bakugo = aggressive bakugo

everyone knows he likes you except you. it’s so obvious, but no one says anything because they fear bakugo’s wrath.

also bakugo will make sure to hide his feelings for you because he kinda sees you as a distraction sometimes from his ultimate goal of becoming #1. he’ll struggle with accepting his own feelings but will ultimately accept them because he realises that you help him become a better person.

he’s not a very romantic guy, so he’d probably just walk up to you and demand your attention to ask you out. he slams a hand into your desk and you look up from your book, confused.

he gives you one of his kinda-backhanded compliment and asks you out. he’s all confident and smirking, but he’s screaming on the inside. he doesn’t know what he’d do if you rejected him.

lucky for him, you like him back too. says that you made “a good choice” when you accept his date, but he’s secretly so. happy. is smiling for the rest of the day. class 1-a is kinda scared bc he looks like he’s plotting a murder.

kirishima is elated that you two are dating and you two quickly become best friends.

you walk into class one day holding hands with bakugo. everyone notices of course. kaminari and mineta wolf-whistle and katsuki starts to charge over to their desks, but a simple kiss on the cheek immediately calms him down.

he blushes and tries to play it off but he secretly really likes it

you are now considered a god in class 1-a. everyone is impressed and terrified of you b/c you somehow managed to tame the explosive hot-head.

todoroki shoto

you two become good friends first before he starts developing feelings for you.

you’re smart, pretty and nice to him. he likes you.

he starts hanging out with you, studying with you, training with you. he likes that he doesn’t have to fill the space with small talk. you both respect each other a lot, and he likes how kind and patient you are.

he’s still learning social norms so he’s trying super hard to engage in conversations. he likes to hear you talk and builds off of what you say.

todoroki doesn’t really understand his crush on you at first. he just kinda goes with his gut, tries to spend more time with you, talk to you more, etc.

he takes interests in the things you like and makes sure to talk about them with you.

he probably talks to his mom about you a lot. one day, his mom asks him if he has feelings for you.

uh oh. todoroki realises that he may like you more than just a friend.

he’s really conflicted once he figures out that he like likes you. he may shut himself off a bit to clear his head, but once he straightens out his feelings, he comes back and apologizes for avoiding you.

you forgive him but are quite confused. you understand he has a troubled past and is a complex person because of it, and do your best to accept him for who he is.

he really likes you though. how gentle and serene you are, and how you always encourage him to be himself. he appreciates it so much.

you’re like his anchor, and you see him through his aloof and cold exterior. only certain people can do that, so he really cherishes you.

you make him feel safe and comfortable. you also don’t tease him so much when he doesn’t understand social cues, and instead, teach him what they mean.

todoroki would actually be fairly good at hiding his crush on you. he doesn’t want it to change the friendship you have with him.

he’d probably analyse the way you act around him, trying to figure out if you had a crush on him or not too. did you like him too? would you even be interested in dating someone like him?

he eats lunch with you everyday and partners up with you in class. he’ll also ask to study with you, despite having a reputation of working alone.

class 1-a is secretly rooting for you two but is also confused with your relationship. todoroki hides his emotions well, so are you two just friends or is there something more…?

todoroki confesses at the most unexpected time. it’s out of the blue, probably in the spur of a moment thing, when he’s overcome with strong emotions for you. it catches you and him off guard when he does.

he simply blurts out and admits that he has feelings for you and asks if you would like to pursue a relationship with him. smiling, you of course agree.

externally, he’s calm as ever, but internally, he’s super excited.

makes plans for a date immediately and can’t wait to take you out.

class 1-a is surprised but happy and supportive of your relationship. they didn’t actually expect todoroki of all people to ask someone out. they’re super happy that you’re helping todoroki come out of his shell!

[ussstrangeiron]

Needed Interactions

Tony Stark has a deep, complex relationship with Steve Rogers! Ok, if you say so. Whatever. Look I’ll buy it, but please, I would MUCH rather see Tony’s relationship with......well, literally anyone, but particularly these people: 

The Walking Example/Reminder of Why Tony Became Iron Man 

He became Iron Man specifically because Stane was selling his weapons to terror groups in other countries, who used them to kill innocents. Here is one of the victims of Tony’s past. In the Avengers. Her entire reason for being in the Avengers is being one of Stane’s customers’ victims. 

And she and Tony barely interact. 

(The rest, copy-pasted from the Wanda volume) 

In “Civil War” their main beef with each other was over him “locking her in her room.” All the serious shit, they somehow buried the hatched about between movies… and we never saw it.

Did she ever feel bad about triggering his PTSD to cause all that destruction, and try using her powers to help fix his mental problems after switching sides? (And maybe make another boo-boo, this time by accident?) Did Tony ever use his money and influence to help her, to try and make up for the mis-sold weapons? Do they ever relate their guilt complexes to each other or talk about PTSD? Is Tony pissed for what she did to Bruce? Did Tony give her the money to buy that new red Goth outfit? Did they two of them ever get mistaken for a sugar daddy and his young Russian mail-bride and be comically grossed out?

 These are things I need to know!

You know why. 

I love Shuri, I worship Shuri, but Tony should have been the one to replace that arm, and you know why. What that would have done for their story arc. How much more powerful it would be than, rather than just “Oh BTW here’s an new arm yo.” 

I’ll also drop here that Bucky knew Howard; Tony knows about torture and mental instability; both are psychotically protective of people they care about, both have colossal guilt complexes. 

Tony supposedly has a conflicted friendship with Steve. Bucky supposedly is super protective of Steve. ............Fine. I’ll buy it. I can’t, actually, but I can pretend to. But Tony has far more reason to have a conflicted relationship with Bucky, and Bucky has ample reason to be protective of Tony. Basically, both’s supposed relationship with Steve would be far better used with each other. I think this is the basis of Winteriron, to be honest. 

Basically you have these two goldmines of angst, played by brilliant actors, who have been given the angstiest possible connection to each other..... but there’s this red, white and blue wall of cardboard standing between them. 

Actually, he could be Tony’s conscience. 

His impulsive actions in “Civil War” notwithstanding, anyway. That line was pretty ironic, since Tony’s conscience was exactly the reason he signed the Accords, and he made that clear to Cap. Cap clearly isn’t quite as honest as he likes to think of himself as being. In “Ant-Man and the Wasp,” it’s confirmed that Scott went into the Civil War with little information, and regrets it. 

Scott is a lot like Tony, but a bit more mature. Relatively speaking, I mean. Both are obnoxious man-childs, but Scott is a dad, and grew up working class, so he sort of has that head start on Tony. Hey, here’s an idea! Maybe instead of having a beefcake propaganda mascot regurgitate nonsensical heroic cliches at Tony, have a guy who can speak Tony’s language (Snark) and who at least makes some effort to practice what he preaches. Tony and Scott’s head-butting and team-ups would be worth a trillion of Tony and Steve. 

Every pop culture snark Tony makes would be countered by a torturous bad ant pun that would cause that famous eye-roll to occur. 

I NEED THIS. I NEED THIS YESTERDAY. 

For the love of King Odin’s nutsack. You can’t just give us two snarky, egotistical, jackass eccentric scientists, one of whom was screwed by the other’s dad and hates Starks, and not have them cross paths! 

“Dr.... Pimp was it?” 

“I’ve never heard that one before. Espeically not straight from forth grade to graduate school.” 

Pepper and Hope would have so much to lament about together. 

THIS TOO

After snark-to-snark combat with Star Lord, Dr. Strange, and God willing both Ant-Mans, I must see Tony’s reaction to learning that his final contender is a raccoon. 

Duh.

After she utterly emasculates Tony in the lab, he will get back when he trains her in hand-blasting.... only for her to get back with some quip about him being a fat old man she’s just giving a workout for. Shuri, don’t talk to your future father-in-law like that. 

Also, I want Shuri, Tony and Rocket to do something illegal (break into a government lab for some reason, or something like that). Christine Everhart, the reporter who hates Tony, finds out and blackmails him about it. 

“...and I’ll make sure the headline just reads, ‘45 Year Old Playboy Caught In Illegal Activity With Teenage Wakandan Princess and a Raccoon.’” 

To which Tony wheezes, “Awful nice of you to lower my age...” and then caves.

Also, remember in “Men in Black,” when Will Smith interrupts Tommy Lee Jones and Rip Torn’s argument in the lab with “Hey, Old Guys!” I need Shuri to do that to Tony and Pym, while they’re arguing and overlooking something obvious. 

MORE DAMMIT! I NEED MORE THAN ONE SCENE BETWEEN THE MCU’S TWO BIGGEST DIVAS! 

Purely for light humor and serious character development. Certainly not for ship-teasing.