#and i get it bc i’m v far away from them but i’ve been doing stuff independently for well over a year now!!

[acrosstimeandspace]

there’s going to be a showing of the nutcracker ballet in a city near me but idk anyone who’d go with me and it’s still far by train

[hrizantemy]

Staying anon bc I’m sick of the vile hate/threats I receive for liking both Nesta and IC, but I get if you don’t want to engage.

I personally feel that there is a portion of the fandom that is so obsessed with hating the IC that they end up destroying Nesta’s character over it. Like because Nesta doesn’t mirror their own journeys perfectly she’s been written wrong, but Nesta’s character can’t account for every single persons journey either. No character can. Or maybe people get so stuck in the fandom that they get so far away from the source material and what’s truly canon v headcanon.

I see so many takes that end up reducing her to this weak, spineless idiot afraid of her own shadow, and I just don’t see her character this way at all. And I don’t mean people who don’t like certain ships or characters or plots that are canon. I mean things like:

I see so many people talk about how Nesta is completely manipulated into the following: being with Cassian, becoming a warrior, going to the CoN to interact with Eris, training, etc when this is the same character that was so strong-willed as a human that a high lord’s glamor didn’t properly stick. The same person who TOOK something from the Cauldron, who made a death promise to Hybern. This doesn’t mean she can’t be scared, bullied or manipulated of course, but why is everything she chooses for herself questioned and dismissed by those “pro-Nesta” readers?

Another thing with her training: Nesta definitely doesn’t initiate the training with Cassian, but saying she was turned into a warrior against her will takes away from her effort, from the peace she starts to find in the exercise and control, but also her formation of the Valkyries. I’ve even seen takes about how Rhys probably planted the idea into her head so he could gain new fighters—can this woman have nothing of her own?

Every time I see a post about how the IC “were horrible to her for no reason” it always either downplays or blatantly disregards the way she spoke to others. Nesta IS a good person, but that doesn’t preclude her from purposefully harming others with her words and demeanor. She can use both like weapons and does when it suits her, often to her own regret: like against Elain and Cassian.

Nesta herself believes she failed her sisters, especially Feyre. Many posts use this as proof that SJM used SF to “remind everyone Feyre is the real victim again” but I feel like this is a very shallow take. I think it’s very telling of Nesta’s character that she went through so much but at her core takes a lot of blame for things that happened in the past. It doesn’t make it *true* that all those things were her fault, but she herself says she would have let them starve just to prove how terrible a father their dad was, and she hates herself for it. How compelling that she has to work through all those emotions and has to deal with *herself* as one of the biggest “obstacles” to overcome.

Nesta resents Feyre for doing what she felt she should have. Nesta didn’t hate Cassian—she couldn’t look at him because she blamed herself for all the Illyrians she couldn’t save. Nesta has to confront and forgive herself, the person who ultimately matters most. Anytime any other character comes close to making this realization (and I think it’s pretty wrong to say the solution should have been to “enter her mind and see”) she shuts down the conversation/changes topic.

I know ‘THE HIKE’ is controversial for so many people, but I also fail to understand how people got out of the book that all of SF was about making Nes apologize to other people (the IC specifically?), but when they talk about forgiveness and Nes says it isn’t that easy, Cassian counters that forgiveness isn’t just about others, it’s also about ourselves. He tells her not to worry about the past, apologize only to who *she* felt she needed to, and then move on. It isn’t about turning her into a personality type like Elain—Elain is probably the biggest outlier in the IC as far as personality types, because everyone else does have that edge and sharpness that Nesta herself has.

The apology she does have with Feyre is not drawn out. Nesta doesn’t know how to say the words out loud but she projects them enough that Feyre hears them—it’s a brief scene, interrupted even due to them dealing post Prison/Lanthys visit, but Feyre forgives her. It isn’t held over her head or made into a spectacle. Nor is this passage about Feyre at all; it’s about Nesta being comfortable in her own vulnerability and believing herself deserving of forgiveness, which is a step in her healing.

And don’t get me started on how other characters are said to be ridiculous for perceiving Nesta as a threat—she 100% is! She’s likely one of the most powerful characters we’ve seen and that’s without her fully knowing what she is/how to harness her power! And that’s her without using tools like the Dread Trove! When Rhys tells Cassian he’s scared of her, I don’t think he’s entirely joking. It’s what makes her coveted by a death god and also feared by so many. It undermines her to act like she isn’t powerful in her own right. It reminds me so much of how so many IC members have acted around Amren—even on their side, her power always *more*, and so were her emotions.

This turned into a ramble that’s likely not even decipherable, so I’m so sorry for that. I don’t even think I’ve made my point all that well at all at this point.

Hey anon, I get what you’re saying, and I do love Nesta! Let’s dive into this by focusing on how many of her so-called “choices” often aren’t really framed as her own decisions, and how that erodes her agency.

One of the biggest issues with how Nesta’s choices are framed is that even though she’s portrayed as a strong-willed character, many of her key decisions are driven by external forces, and that’s where people get frustrated. For example, her training with Cassian. Yes, it’s true she finds peace and strength through it eventually, but the entire setup feels like something imposed on her rather than something she would naturally gravitate towards. Instead of it being framed as a healing process she chooses, it can feel like a punishment or rehabilitation program handed down by others, like Rhysand and Feyre, for her “bad behavior.”

Similarly, her relationship with Cassian, while developed over time, often comes across as something she’s pushed into rather than something she fully embraces. It’s hard to shake the feeling that Nesta was manipulated or nudged into the role of Cassian’s mate, especially when their bond doesn’t initially come from a place of mutual respect or understanding but is mired in a lot of unresolved tension and pain. So, while the narrative may want us to believe Nesta is choosing this relationship, there’s a strong argument that she’s reacting to external pressures rather than truly embracing it of her own volition.

The Court of Nightmares scene is one of the most frustrating moments for me, especially when you take into account everything we know about Nesta’s trauma. Rhysand, who is supposed to be this paragon of empathy and understanding, knew what she had gone through. He knew she was groomed, they had a whole discussion about it. Nesta’s trauma wasn’t just a side note—it was a key part of her character development. Rhysand was well aware of the depth of it, and still, somehow, the solution to dealing with Eris and the Court of Nightmares involved forcing her into that role. The manipulation that occurs in this scene highlights just how little Rhysand actually considered Nesta’s well-being, despite what he claims.

What makes it worse is how Feyre steps in to protect Elain from having to take on that role, because Elain is “too gentle” for something like that. So, because Elain is shielded from having to navigate the dangerous, humiliating space of the Court of Nightmares, it falls onto Nesta? Why is Nesta seen as more expendable in that situation? Just because Nesta is strong-willed and outwardly abrasive doesn’t mean she isn’t carrying immense scars. The fact that Feyre didn’t protect her the way she protected Elain is a major slap in the face, especially when it’s Feyre who knows the toll trauma can take on someone.

It’s clear they all know what kind of emotional damage this role could inflict—after all, that’s the entire reason Elain is kept out of it. Yet it’s Nesta who is pushed forward, almost as if her resilience makes her more disposable, or as if her sharp edges make it easier for people to ignore the vulnerability beneath them. They choose to overlook her history, or worse, to ignore it, because it’s convenient to their plans. There’s something deeply unsettling about that.

To me, this moment highlights the hypocrisy of Rhysand and the Inner Circle. They claim to understand trauma, but only when it aligns with their agenda. They protect Elain and Feyre, but Nesta? She’s strong enough to be thrown to the wolves, right? It’s as if because she presents herself as powerful, she’s expected to endure anything—whether she consents to it or not. This scene strips Nesta of her agency and disregards the very real consequences of trauma in a way that I just can’t reconcile with the supposed moral high ground the Inner Circle often claims to stand on.

In the end, it feels like Nesta was sacrificed to serve the larger narrative of Rhysand’s plan and the Court’s needs, and not given the care or respect her trauma deserved. It’s hard to forgive the fact that everyone involved—especially Rhysand, who knew better—was complicit in putting her in a situation that mirrored the very experiences that left her scarred in the first place. That level of disregard for her emotional state is what makes this scene such a huge problem.

When it comes to Nesta’s attitude toward the Inner Circle, it’s important to acknowledge that she wasn’t the one to initiate the hostility. So many people paint Nesta as this unprovoked villain, but when you look at the interactions closely, you realize that the members of the Inner Circle were often the ones who antagonized her first.

Take Cassian, for instance. He constantly pushed Nesta, both physically and emotionally, right from the start. He knew how to push her buttons, provoke reactions, and he did so repeatedly. While some people might interpret their dynamic as “banter” or tension-filled chemistry, it often crossed a line, especially considering the rawness of what Nesta was dealing with. Cassian would instigate, and when she defended herself or lashed out, she was blamed for being difficult or ungrateful. But was she really supposed to just sit back and take it?

Then there’s Rhysand, who from the beginning didn’t give Nesta any respect. He dismissed her, judged her, and made it clear he didn’t think much of her, all while pretending to be this morally superior, understanding figure. Nesta wasn’t rude to him out of nowhere—she responded to the disdain he had for her. He didn’t even try to understand where she was coming from. Instead, he and the rest of the Inner Circle labeled her as a problem before ever giving her a chance.

Even Mor, who is so often praised for her compassion, was quick to judge and show disdain for Nesta. Mor made her distaste for Nesta known, often using passive-aggressive or outright rude comments to make her feelings clear. And again, Nesta reacted in kind. When someone is constantly on the receiving end of that kind of treatment, it’s only natural to put up walls and defend yourself.

Feyre is a more complicated case because there is love between them, but even then, Feyre often overlooked how the Inner Circle treated Nesta. She prioritized her relationship with Rhysand and the group over standing up for her sister when it mattered. Feyre may not have been overtly antagonistic, but her inaction spoke volumes. She allowed the others to treat Nesta poorly, and by doing so, she contributed to the hostile dynamic.

So when people say Nesta was always rude or difficult with the Inner Circle, I think it’s essential to point out that her responses were largely defensive. They were the ones who set the tone of their relationship with her, and Nesta simply reacted to the treatment she received. It’s a classic case of people pushing someone to their limits and then acting shocked when they defend themselves. Nesta’s attitude wasn’t unprovoked—it was a shield against a group that never gave her a real chance to be part of their world.

The dynamic between Nesta and Feyre in ACOSF feels unnecessarily drawn out, especially when you look back at how things were left between them at the end of ACOTAR. By that point, Feyre had already forgiven Nesta. When Feyre came home for that brief period before Under the Mountain, she wasn’t holding a grudge anymore. She even acknowledged that her sisters, especially Nesta, were products of their difficult upbringing and circumstances. Feyre had moved on, at least emotionally, from the hurt Nesta had caused. The tension between them wasn’t as deep from Feyre’s side as it was from Nesta’s.

So, by the time we get to ACOSF, it feels like the conflict between the two is dragged out far longer than necessary, especially when it’s framed as Nesta needing to apologize or make amends with Feyre. Feyre’s forgiveness was already established—she had forgiven Nesta quietly and without fanfare. She wasn’t holding that grudge over Nesta’s head or demanding an apology. And yet, the narrative makes it seem like this massive, unresolved issue, as if Feyre was waiting for some grand reconciliation. But really, it was never about Feyre needing that closure; it was Nesta who needed to forgive herself.

Nesta’s self-loathing and guilt over her past actions were the real barriers to their relationship, not Feyre’s forgiveness. But because the story keeps circling back to this idea that Nesta needs to mend things with her sisters, it makes the resolution of their relationship feel drawn out. Feyre didn’t need Nesta to grovel or beg for forgiveness, but the narrative almost sets it up as if she did. Feyre had already come to terms with their past, but the focus on Nesta’s need for self-forgiveness and the process she had to go through made it feel like Feyre was somehow still waiting for an apology.

At the heart of it, Nesta’s journey was about coming to terms with herself. The real issue was that Nesta couldn’t forgive herself for what she saw as her failures—failing Feyre, failing her family, and failing in her life. That’s an important story to tell, but the way it’s wrapped up in Feyre’s narrative makes it feel like Feyre is still central to Nesta’s healing, when in reality, Feyre’s forgiveness had already been given. This mismatch between what Feyre actually needed from Nesta and what the narrative focused on makes the conflict between them feel unnecessarily prolonged.

Instead of allowing the story to focus more on Nesta’s internal battle with her own guilt and self-worth, it keeps circling back to her relationship with Feyre, making it seem like that was the key conflict that needed to be resolved. In truth, Feyre wasn’t waiting for some grand apology—she had already moved on, and what needed to happen was Nesta finding her own peace. But the emphasis on their relationship makes it feel like the resolution dragged on when, from Feyre’s perspective, it was already over.

The hike in A Court of Silver Flames is one of the most controversial moments in the book, and for good reason. Many readers defend it as part of Nesta’s “journey” toward healing and growth, but when you look at the scene closely, it becomes clear that this was not about helping her—it was about punishing her. Cassian even says as much, explicitly calling it a punishment, and that’s where the problem lies.

Let’s break it down: Nesta is already emotionally and physically exhausted, having been pushed to her limits time and time again throughout the story. The hike is positioned as this ultimate test of endurance and discipline, something that’s supposedly going to help her in her path toward healing. But from the outset, it doesn’t feel like it’s for her benefit—it feels punitive. Cassian acknowledges that it’s a punishment, and this is where the power dynamics get really problematic. Nesta is put in a situation where she has no choice, and it’s framed as a necessary challenge for her to “prove” something, but what exactly is she proving here? Her physical strength? Her ability to endure pain?

The entire setup strips her of agency, and that’s not how healing or self-discovery should work. It’s one thing to push someone to face their fears or help them break through emotional barriers, but it’s another to force them into a physically grueling task as a form of punishment for their perceived shortcomings. Nesta was being punished for not fitting into the mold that Cassian and the rest of the Inner Circle wanted her to fit into. She wasn’t training on her own terms or exploring her own boundaries—she was being forced into this hike as a way to “break” her down and reshape her.

And Cassian saying it’s a punishment only reinforces this. If the goal was truly to help Nesta heal, to help her find strength and control in her own way, then why was it framed as punishment? Punishment isn’t about growth; it’s about control. Nesta didn’t need to be broken down further—she was already in a place where she felt broken and lost. What she needed was support, understanding, and a safe space to rebuild herself. Instead, she was given a hike designed to physically and emotionally exhaust her under the guise of “tough love.”

People often argue that this hike was necessary for her transformation, but I see it as a form of abuse. Nesta didn’t ask for this, and she wasn’t in a mental or emotional place to handle it in a healthy way. It wasn’t about empowerment—it was about forcing her to fit into a role she wasn’t ready to take on. Cassian’s framing of it as a punishment only highlights the imbalance of power in their relationship and the way the Inner Circle treats Nesta. They constantly push her, punish her, and then expect her to come out the other side grateful for it, when in reality, it was just another way for them to control her.

Healing and growth shouldn’t come through punishment. They come through support, agency, and self-reflection. The hike stripped all of that away from Nesta and forced her into a situation where she had no choice but to endure, not for her own sake, but to appease the people around her. In that context, it’s hard to see the hike as anything other than abusive.

Nesta being perceived as a threat is one of the most compelling aspects of her character, and it’s something that the narrative acknowledges, but with a strange double standard. There’s no denying that Nesta is a force to be reckoned with—her power is raw, unbridled, and tied to death itself, making her a uniquely dangerous figure in a world where power dynamics are constantly shifting. Rhysand even admits to Cassian that he’s scared of her, and others in the Inner Circle are visibly uneasy around her. But what stands out is how differently Nesta is treated for being a threat compared to her sisters, Feyre and Elain, who are also incredibly powerful in their own right.

Feyre, for example, is High Lady of the Night Court. She has access to all the powers of the High Lords, including shaping the world around her with her abilities. Feyre’s potential is enormous, but she’s never seen as a threat in the same way Nesta is. Instead, she’s revered and protected. Her power is something the Inner Circle wants to nurture, and while Rhysand and the others acknowledge how powerful she is, there’s a clear distinction in how her abilities are framed—they are viewed as something beneficial, something to celebrate and protect.

Then there’s Elain, who, despite her softer demeanor, possesses the Sight and could be one of the most dangerous players on the board if her powers were fully developed. Prophecy and foresight are incredibly potent abilities, especially in a world filled with political intrigue and constant warfare. Elain is not a fighter, but her potential threat comes from the fact that she can see things others cannot. Still, like Feyre, no one treats her as dangerous. She is often protected, shielded, even infantilized, because of her gentleness, as though her power doesn’t warrant the same fear or concern.

But when it comes to Nesta, it’s a completely different story. Nesta’s power is terrifying because it’s not understood—she’s tied to the Cauldron, a force of creation and destruction, and she’s taken something from it, something tied to death. But it’s not just her magic that makes her a threat; it’s her will, her sharp tongue, her refusal to bend to the Inner Circle’s expectations. She is someone who resists control, and that, more than anything, seems to scare them. Feyre and Elain are seen as threats, but their power is either useful (in Feyre’s case) or something to be handled delicately (in Elain’s case). Nesta’s power, however, is something they want to suppress, to control, because she doesn’t fit neatly into the mold they expect.

This double standard is glaring. Why is it that Nesta, who has no more control over her power than Feyre or Elain, is treated like a walking time bomb, while her sisters are coddled or revered? Part of it comes down to Nesta’s personality—she’s not interested in being controlled or guided, which makes her harder to manipulate. Feyre has Rhysand, and Elain has people like Azriel and her sisters to protect her, but Nesta has always stood alone, which makes her power feel more unpredictable and, therefore, more dangerous to those around her.

The fear of Nesta’s power isn’t just about what she can do with her magic—it’s about who she is. She represents a challenge to the established order, not just in the court but in her personal relationships. Nesta doesn’t care about appeasing others, and that, coupled with her immense power, makes her a genuine threat. But this fear isn’t fair. Feyre and Elain are just as dangerous in their own ways, yet no one is looking to break them down or strip them of their autonomy the way they try to do with Nesta.

Ultimately, the treatment of Nesta as a threat says more about the people around her than it does about her. Her power is feared because it can’t be easily controlled, but it’s also tied to the fact that Nesta refuses to play by the rules. She’s a reminder that true power isn’t just about magic or strength—it’s about the will to use it on your own terms. Feyre and Elain may have their own incredible abilities, but the difference is that Nesta’s power is something no one else can claim, manipulate, or contain, and that’s why she’s seen as the greatest threat of them all.

I don’t mind rambling at all—in fact, I think it’s a great way to explore and unpack complex thoughts and feelings about characters, relationships, and storylines. Everyone brings their own perspective to the table, and that’s part of what makes discussing books and fandoms so interesting. These are just my views on things, and I don’t expect everyone to agree. We all experience stories in different ways depending on our own life experiences, preferences, and what resonates with us most. So, while I might have strong opinions about certain characters or plot points, I definitely welcome other interpretations. Sharing these different views only makes the conversation more engaging, and it’s always interesting to hear how others interpret the same scenes or dynamics. Feel free to dive into any topic, and don’t worry if it turns into a ramble—I’m here for it!

[whatiwillsay]

Hi Cam I hope you’ve been doing well <3 I’m checking back in on the pod after a few months away and with all the election talk I have a question. Now I’m not American so I am obviously a bit removed from having to actually make choices re the candidates so I get it’s a whole different situation for USAmericans. But I’m curious how you square the circle of not just voting for but vocally being for the Harris ticket when they are the party currently in power perpetrating genocide and doing very little to fight for reproductive or trans rights. I hope this doesn’t come across as an attack bc it’s a genuine question and I do get being in the belly of the beast makes it a different equation. If you’ve already talked about this I’ll be v happy to read your perspective, I’ve missed a lot of the pod and tumble talk these past months

in america we have two choices- kamala or trump. there is no other choice. it is mathematically impossible for a third party candidate to win the election.

the next president may get 2 supreme court appointments. the supreme court in America is overpowered. they are the ones who took away nationally guaranteed abortion rights for example. their decisions on cases become federal law and precedent. trump has already had 3 appointments during his 1st term (this is how we lost abortion rights and they also made other harmful decisions) if he gets 2 more then 5/9 (a deciding majority) of the supreme court will be trump appointments. it will be a defacto trump supreme court and that will last for the next 30-40 years because these are lifetime appointments. this will permanently alter the course of history.

democrats have been trying to protect reproductive rights and trans rights, they can only do so much without super majority in the senate and without controlling the house at all. they may not be PERFECT on these issues but there are only two choices and they are the far superior choice.

democrats and harris are far better for Palestinians (although certainly there is room for improvement, biden performed to the left of where he campaigned, I think kamala will as well, her senate record was the most far left and progressive of any senator except for sanders) than the republicans and trump. trump has said "let isreal finish the job" harris says "cease fire now and let's have safety and dignity for Palestinians" remember there are only two options and we have to pick one. are you really surprised I'm picking the person who says cease fire now? even if their entire position isn't perfect on Palestine, it would be HEINOUSLY immoral to not be vocally against the guy who says "let Isreal finish the job" and vocally for the person who stands in his way to power. again there is only so much dems can do without a senate super majority and house. for example biden put a pause on sending certain weapons to isreal. the republican members of congress passed a bill that disagreed with this. democrats ARE NOT perfect on Palestine but THEY ARE BETTER and again as someone who is very much concerned with the suffering of Palestinians it would be insanely immoral of me to not support the better option of the only two we have.

i am not a single issue voter either and on basically every policy I'm concerned with dems are better. dems want to get money out of politics (hindering corruption). dems want to protect gay marriage dems want to protect workers rights. there's more I'm going to take them in other points!

the genocide in gaza is not the only one happening in the world. there is an argument to be made that there is also a type of genocide being executed against black Americans. dems are for police reform that helps fight against that. i think you could also argue there is an attempt to erase lgbtq people from existence in America (particularly trans people!) as I already pointed out dems are for protecting the rights and dignity of trans people. it would be insanely immoral of me as a cis ally to the trans community and a white ally to the black community to not to loudly oppose the republicans who are the ones attacking these groups. dems are not PERFECT on these issues but they are FAR BETTER.

speaking of mass death do you know how many people will die in climate related disasters if we don't try to get global warming under control? republicans are ACTIVELY fighting against any attempt to protect the environment. dems are trying to fight global warming. they are not PERFECT on climate but they are BETTER. there are only two options. it would be insanely immoral for me to not support the better option.

i do not want to live in an uneducated country I believe access to a good education is a basic human right. trump wants to disband the department of education. this would be DISASTEROUS for some areas of the country.

trump wants to repeal the affordable care act. i, personally, will lose access to healthcare if this happens. so would nearly 30 million other americans. this would lead to the death of many innocent people, sentenced to death just for not having the right type of job or being poor. it would be insanely immoral not to oppose this. dems are not PERFECT on healthcare (I believe the only ethical solution is a single payer healthcare system) but they are BETTER.

thanks to luck and privilege I was able to buy my first home in 2015. this home has been a great source of security and wealth building for me. i want other average Americans to be able to have this same security and wealth. harris's plans increase the ability for more first time home buyers to purchase a home.

democrats in general are much better for the economy. this matters less to me than some of the other issues we've talked about but a high tide raises all ships. a good economy is protective to vulnerable people at least to some degree.

i could go on and on. at every turn on basically every policy from social safety nets to marijuana to unions to women to school lunches for me on every issue democrats and harris are BETTER. they are not perfect on every issue but there are only two options... obviously I'm going to vocally support the better option.

and yes... i do somewhat feel like I am in the "belly of the beast". some of these issues do affect me personally. issues on gay rights, healthcare, women's rights, and the environment... i am scared. i am allowed to be concerned for my own rights. women are dying because they aren't able to get abortions. my own state of Tennessee is ACTIVELY attacking gay rights. every year the world gets hotter and I fear for my life and that there might be an extreme weather event near me. my fear demands that I be vocal in fighting against this terrifying stuff.

but it's also a moral thing. i believe there is value in human life. trump's bungling of covid let to the deaths of millions. marcellus Williams would likely still be alive if we had had 3 Clinton appointments to the supreme court and not trump appointments. ashley thurman would be alive today if trump hadn't gotten to appoint three justices to the supreme court as well. trump's deregulation policies have lead to people being poisoned by our food.

and damn we haven't even gotten into January 6th. people DIED because trump sent a mob to attack the capitol because he couldn't accept he lost a free and fair election.

GOD WE HAVEN'T EVEN TALKED ABOUT TRUMP'S ADMIRATION FOR HITLER. trump's former chief of staff john kelly who is a retired general went ON THE RECORD to say trump praised hitler in office.

i'm guessing you didn't know all of this when you sent me your question and I'm guessing you now understand that yes... it is my duty as a human being to stand against the guy who praised hitler.

lol i could say more but... i hope you get it now. it would be unethical for me to do anything but support harris who is the only person who can guarantee trump doesn't reach office and while she is not PERFECT on all these issues she is FAR BETTER and that matters.

[luffyvace]

I just need ussop x male reader head cannons I can never find any cus I can definitely see them kissing and then ussop bragging about it as is he wasn’t sweating and race red please 🙏 I love your work it makes me smile at how silly it is smt 💙

I KNOWWWW I never see any usopp x male reader!!! 💥💥

awww that scenario is so cute and true <3

THANK YOU!!! That’s so kind of you to say! Yesss I’m so glad you enjoy my siliness because my writing always has been and always will be ;D 💖💖

Honestly Usopp probably isn’t fazed much about the fact that your a male

he’s educated on lgbtq+ and if you hc him to be apart of them that’s probably why!

So he’s not much flustered or surprised at the fact that he likes a guy just the fact that he likes YOU.

and your!- just!- yoursoepicsoawesomesoincrediblesobreathtakingsostunningsoastoundingsoextrodinaryso-

LIKE YOUR JUST SO COOL!-

i mean I guess he could’ve just said that buuuut

’cool’ is not cool enough of a word to describe you😉

alr that was a terrible dad joke but anyway-

thats not the point! The point is!….it really doesn’t matter your gender he just thinks your phenomenal (pan usopp? I’ll let you decide…)

the strawhats also don’t mind!

now every time I write they’re reactions it’s the same so I’m not doing it all over again- 😆

just a few honorable mentions :)

first off Robin knew it’d happen all along and nami got paid from the bets of it

Sanji doesn’t get the appeal but he knows every man isn’t the same (my boy zoro scarred him) and so is everyone’s preferences. (he supports)

luffy suggests to throw a party (just as an excuse to have one) but it’s not a bad excuse so you guys through one anyway

and yeah that’s all your getting 🥰

usopp tells the strawhats (probably luffy first) that you two are dating

he’s so excited when he does 💗

as soon as you say yes he’s running off to find everyone, (again- luffy first) shouting at the top of his lungs that you two are an item

okay on to your scenario~ 😊

*chuu*~ usopp gives you a little kiss on the lips (for the first time)

his face gets as red as a rose while standing there computing that he singlehandedly just had his first kiss with you and in general

you blinked and he’s already bolted off to go brag to the rest of the crew

specifically sanji, luffy, chopper and franky/brook

why them specifically?

Sanji because he didn’t even get to kiss at least Charlotte + plus he got his first kiss and partner before him

luffy & chopper because those are his loser bsfs

franky and brook? because he’s way younger than them and he got his first kiss before them 😂😂

he basically couldn’t stop boasting about it for a week straight

even then he’ll bring it up every chance he gets

”you may be strong sanji but at least I’ve had my first kiss” 😁☝️

his love languages are physical touch & gift giving (quality time too)

he will never not be shy about physical touch 💗

he just never gets used to it

his affections? (🤗) he lives for every form of physical touch ever from you

kiss on the cheek/forehead/lips/temple/hand, cuddles, linking pinkies/hold hands, footsie, high fives, shoulders/knees touches

you name it he wants it

seriously even the little stuff- generally before you start dating

Because then he’s even more shy/nervous around you

I haven’t mentioned that but he definitely is

he doesn’t know what to not do or how to act

yes those precisely bc he worries he’ll screw smth up by doing smth you don’t like

as far as how to act he simply doesn’t know what to do with himself around you

he becomes very self conscious

I’m sure quite a few peeps do in front of they’re crush ^v^

making you laugh counts as a love language for him

he loves the sound of your laughter. it lets him know he’s making you happy

he’s really worried about being a good boyfriend

so when he’s able to make you laugh he knows he’s doing something right

with quality time it’s all about the fact that he looooves to be around you!

whenever your away?

*goes to find you/asks around about your whereabouts* “hey m/n whatcha doin?” 😋

don’t get me wrong he’s not clingy the man still has hobbies—you know working in the usopp factory n such

But he does like to spend a good portion of his day with his lover 💛 (who doesn’t?)

gift giving is heavily his thing since he can give you his tinctures

you know cuz he likes to make stuff?

especially if your weak

then you can defend yourself

and he won’t have to worry about you <3

even if you are strong he’ll still make you stuff :P

maybe something that can help in battle but since you can handle yourself it likely protain to other things you like

if your strong he 💯 runs to you to protect him when danger comes

”YEAH!! M/N’S GONNA BEAT YOU UP! YOU BETTER NOT MESS WITH US!!”

(he’s saying this as he runs away :3)

if he ever manages to save you he’d be so proud of himself and brag to everyone about it

”yeah!! I saved m/n’s BUTT!” 😼

he keeps retelling the story more dramatic a each time and the only one still buying it is chopper <3

even luffy don’t believe him no more 🗿

If your weak he will protect you with everything he’s got!

even if that ain’t much ���

which it’s essentially just him telling you to run, stalling, then running away himself

He likely leads the threat to someone who can defeat them and takes the credits 😎

random :)

he is most certainly simping if you have abs

like he would just loooove to watch you work out 😍😍🙏

if you met back in syrup village he probably followed you everywhere

like you were his only friend before the usopp pirates type thing

Btw you were the vice captian of said group

If you’ve known each other for that long it’s likely love and not just a crush by now but you label it 🤷‍♀️

if not then when you helped save his village he prob developed a crush on you then

how bravely you fought 😍 (even if you were crying like him)

Or maybe he goes to your island and he finds you very cool (even if your not physically strong)

either way he romanticizes how you really are and develops a crush on that idea of you. BUT- dw he DOES genuinely love you ‼️

quick mention on kaya- lets say him, you and kaya were just close friends and they weren’t crushing on each other

you, chopper, usopp and luffy are a group- ain’t no doubt about it c;

y’all are always being silly 😜

If your the mature one of the group your gonna go crazy 🤗🤗 not crazier than nami

Pranks also happen a lot (water bucket on door, stealing stuff, ding dong ditching etc.. little harmless stuff 😚)

overall usopp boyfriend review and rating? 100/100 green flag please date him

Usopp def needs some more content ! Male reader particularly

Hope you enjoy lovely nonny~♡

[thewingedwolf]

okay i’ve watched a few seasons now, and i’m about to move into pre-new era seasons so-

that do or die twist is so unserious omg

i know big brother has gaslighting, spying, & manipulating too but these people just straight up going through each other’s bags is so funny, they all talk about lifelong friendships but they also don’t give a FUCK lmao

(none of these are in any order, just top 4)

faves in 41: shan, xander, erika, evvie

faves in 42: maryanne, romeo, lindsay, drea

faves in 43: i did not watch; i’ve seen the discourse around this season and i simply Don’t want to feel pain like this so i put it off for now

faves in 44: i did not watch; like purely because of the nonsense going on with carson aksjdjd i might genuinely go back to this one later

faves in 45: kaleb, kellie, jake. why did i only list 3 people? bc genuinely it’s a four way tie between dee katurah julie and emily, like this was an amazing season for women. also, the hottest season.

i think it says a lot about me that one of my favorites three seasons in a row was a zero vote finalist aksjdjd personally i think this means one of my faves this season is gonna be one too, i’m guessing venus or q

shan making dx hum her betrayal theme song on the challenge usa is so much funnier with context bc she LITERALLY hummed it out loud while thinking about how she’d have to betray one of her besties aksjsj the nerve of that woman is insane i love her

the way i got so excited for deshawn to make a comeback in that lil chicken & veggies alliance only for him to truth kamikaze his way through that tribal is just…..i actually had to walk away from my tv my secondhand embarrassment was so bad

i think it’s a lot different when you know who is going to win because i went in paying attention to erika and really vibing with her but i get the impression no one was expecting her to win the way that a lot of people thought maryanne would win over everyone else in f5.

that said, i think 41 was my favorite bc i love when people are smart but also canNot keep their mouths shut, these people were so gossipy and got soooo heated with each other, but i didn’t hate anyone, i was rooting for everyone, like i was riveted i had fun.

i literally keep replaying that “do i believe that? no i do not,” moment between naseer and heather on loop in my mind it was soooo funny aksjsjs

xander scruffy looking…….i would fold so fast i’m afraid 😔

that said, i had to walk away during some of his answers for the final tribal because he is just so sweet but he is SO unaware i was HURTING even with evvie and ricard clearing trying to lead him to an answer, it took like four false starts for him to name a good social read and everyone to nod and go “oh yeah that one makes sense”

drea’s comedic timing is unparalleled. i have never laughed that loud at a reality tv contestant, her voice is just so expressive. yes i’m talking about the potato line she is funnier than every comedian on netflix to me

that season had me screaming every episode it was really fun to watch and maryanne just like. sparkles. she’s enchanting.

i hope jonathan [redacted for legal reasons]

austin is so sexy to me because he really just laid down and died so his super hot girlfriend could win a million dollars, that’s the perfect man

actually i’d like to say it again. hottest cast. austin & dee was just pretty on pretty. jake is adorable. kellie. katurah. emily. kaleb. hottest cast by far.

i’ve been listening to know it alls & why blank lost just to get a feel for strategy and i’m excited to get through older seasons to see gameplay without so many twists because yeah there’s like a LOT of them esp in 41. it’s funny listening to them all bitch about this constantly tho. also interested in eventually watching a season without fire making - the next group i’m looking at are david v goliath, heroes v healers v hustlers, millennials v gen x, and gamechangers. might flip around a bit before i land on one tho.

[ellenaferrante]

since you’re into rps of st4ckie and i never see that, i was just curious if you’ve ever thought about ev4nstan. (bc it was really popular during the cw press tour, ss still talks about him, and ghosted etc.) if you think st4ckie are exes, would you ever think they could be too? nonetheless — i don’t ship any of them, i’ve just been in the fandom since tws. but chris reads as closeted/bearding rn to me, in a less obvious way than ss. so i mainly wonder if you’ve ever considered that alone. but it’s all a matter of perspective i guess, i can’t tell how close any of them actually are, but the opposite (bearding) is always a forced looking thing. most of all, ss doing this during awards season is kinda sad tbh.

hi! yes, I’m aware of evanstan, I think they are also exes tbh. I don’t doubt that seb is still in love with him. there were a couple of interviews last year where he talked about chris, especially doing more projects with him and in november he talked about chris ghosting him 💀 it’s funny bc when anthony was ghosting him seb said the most lovesick things in interviews about him, trying to get anthony to maybe text him back.

I think it’s the messiest love triangle of all time bc to this day he has not allowed either of them to move on from him. he’s a little bit cruel in that way, I had hoped maybe he’d let anthony move on from him but after their ‘break up’ in ‘22 it seems they’ve grown even closer in the last couple of years. (they’re not dating but they are certainly not just friends. no matter how often they tell themselves that.)

yeah, sorry, I just don’t buy chris’ marriage at all. funnily enough alba has starred as a lesbian in a tv show and I would like to believe she’s probably also closeted. (she has a really close gal pal and it looks v gay to me.) it’s so obviously a lavender marriage, all their photos look so forced. she also just looks so young, it makes me a bit uncomfortable. and I think it was quite obvious seb and chris were dating in 2016, that’s around the time seb’s worst nightmare happened and chris started dating jenny. (I know most of their lore, chris’ debut film being inspired by the before sunrise trilogy and him casting a woman that looks eerily similar to sebastian is still the most insane thing anyone has ever done in the name of love.)

oh, not to mention how chris chose to reveal his ‘marriage’, it was on a panel hosted by tumblr. LMFAO. not a post on his ig like every other celeb.

re: seb’s bearding, the I love you at the globes was A Lot. the photos of her and seb and anthony and seb are so funny in comparison, though. bc seb looks so much more at ease and happier next to him. it looks normal, like he belongs. and how he clearly feels so much more comfortable touching anthony than he does with her? he’s so stiff and uncomfortable next to her. and never once has he looked at her like he looks at anthony. I’m sure she’s nice enough but I miss when seb dated actual friends of his, it made the stunts a little bit easier for him.

and yeah, I’m sure seb feels some type of way about still having to do bearding at 42. but he really wants an oscar and if this is the way he’ll ever get this far, he’ll take it. unlike chris who completely hides everything away, seb is still so loud about his actual partners. everything seb and anthony did that night was just so?? we get it, you’re in love. so I think that makes it easier, knowing he can still be a little bit gay in public bc his girlfriend is right there with him, plausible deniability etc. I think most people in that room know he’s gay anyway. it’s hollywood, it’s an open secret. it’s just for the rest of the world and marvel execs. he can’t fully come out but he can remain glass closeted (his gold pinky ring etc.) I wonder if he’ll ever come out for real but then again he’s come out in hundreds of tiny ways over the years and I think that lets him breathe easier. the people who know, know. it’s always been like this for gay people throughout history not just celebs, and with trump and everything happening in the next couple of years it might also just be a safety issue. bc he needs to think of all his exes who are linked to him (chris, anthony, chace) he’d maybe put them at risk of being outed.

[bratbarzal]

On Your Side (NH13) / Chapter Eleven

Pairing: Nico Hischier x Fem!OC Poppy Jensen

WC: 17k (I've literally been calling this a short filler hahahahaha)

18+ MDNI!!

Chapter Warnings: unbearable amounts of fluff like you're gonna think is this girl okay??? the answer, as you should already know, is no. I honestly think it's just fluff.... and bad smut. oral (fem receiving, very briefly) and p in v. mentions of jealousy I think. cheeto gets a name finally but honestly.... she's cheeto forever let's not forget. discussions around marriage and more babies. yeah - fluffy fluff.

Series Masterlist

Previous Part (Chapter Ten)

A/N: remember the good old days when I uploaded a chapter like every 10 days??? remember me trying to beat the week-ish allegations??? I can’t tell if me struggling to finish this fic is bc I’m worried it’s getting samey and boring or bc I don’t want to let them go but i need to get over myself!!! sorry for the wait on this one!!! I kind of veered off the path that I planned out for the end of this story, I was really adamant I didn’t want something to happen, but it doesn’t really make sense for the relationship and characters I’ve written for it NOT to happen, so pls bear with me while I figure these last couple of chapters out!! I know a few people have discovered this fic recently so thank you for reading!! I promise I do love these two as much as I haven't acted like it the last couple of months!!

BUT ANYWAY!!! MORE IMPORTANTLY!!!!! this chapter is dedicated to my bestie Rory!! it was her birthday on Monday and if I'm honest I don't know if I would have made it this far without her!! she sends me full chapter breakdowns every time I post and she loves Poppy and Nico as much as I do - literally if I perish, she will take the reins!!! she knows everything!!! I accidentally spoiled the gender to her forever ago, and she helped me figure out Cheeto's name (as well as the name cheeto lmao) and we compared lists and literally had the same number one and the same reason we are that connected!! @h1sch13r I love you so much I couldn't possibly put into words how much I appreciate you!! happy belated birthday capricorn queen!!

Nico

Ever since he moved to the states, summers in Switzerland have always been the best part of Nico’s year. 

Spending much needed time with his family - staying with his parents for days at a time, back in his childhood home, eating his mother’s cooking and hanging out with his dad, and annual trips with his siblings, where the three of them got to spend a week together pretending like their lives hadn’t taken them away from each other. 

Despite the chaos that came as hockey season came to a close, he always looked forward to coming home.

And last year, when he had done so after one of the most heartbreaking moments of his career, he had endured what he now considers the worst summer of his life.

And it was all because of Poppy.

He can see it so much clearer with hindsight, how he had taken himself so far off the beaten path just to avoid his feelings for her, and experiencing a summer with her only makes him regret it more.

Last year, he had come home in a slump, and he had thought, at the time, it was the noise of being knocked out of the playoffs and a brief appearance at the world championships that was lingering. He thought he was exhausted, and remorseful, and that it was the failure of carrying his teams any further that was making him feel so down.

And so he had tried his best to do things that made him feel the opposite. 

He bought an apartment, not too far from his family that he felt distant, but enough so that he could be independent when he came back. And he had tried to make it feel like home - furnished nice, with personal belongings from his parent’s house that made the place feel like his, and not some rental he had no place making feel like forever.

He went on more trips with his friends, weekends away, music festivals, sporting events, and made a point of saying yes to things he might usually have turned down.

And that had been what led him to Talia - to being blinded by what probably should have stayed a summer fling, in lieu of sparing a thought to adoring eyes looking back at him from booths in bar corners, and a girl that, in the back of his mind, he had always wanted to be forever, too.

He had missed Poppy more than he ever could have realised at the time - and had fallen victim to abiding by their usual routine of radio silence in the summer, without realising that they had grown way too much since the year before to seriously keep that up.

He wishes he’d have texted her or something, back then. Commented on an instagram post, responded to a story, or called her, even. Her voice might have deterred him from ever trying to move on, and it could have saved the two of them so much time and heartache from what came as a result of that.

But maybe then she wouldn’t be here now, belly round with his child, sat out on the terrace in the back yard of his childhood home, schooling his big brother at Uno. Maybe he wouldn’t come down the stairs in the morning to the sounds of her laughing with his dad, helping him prepare breakfast for the family and asking him questions about what constitutes being offside in soccer when he’d sit down to watch Switzerland play their international games and she’d join him to try get into it, herself. 

Maybe she wouldn’t go on shopping trips with his sister, and come back with bagfuls of baby clothes that she holds up to her front as she shows them all to Nico in their room, and make comments about how she can’t believe that something so big can grow from her belly. 

Maybe she would still be someone he always wants to keep to himself, instead of sharing her with the people he loves the most in this world, only to have his love grow for her even more - and maybe that’s not how he ever wanted things to be. 

So maybe he had to suffer through the facade he put on last summer to get to where he is now, content in every possible aspect of his life, wrapped up under the bedsheets, muttering random stories to Poppy’s belly as she sleeps, the side of his finger caressing the soft skin as he anticipates whatever movement happens inside her that is going to rouse her from whatever sweet dreams he hopes she’s having. 

“What are you doing?”

There’s a brief flash of light before Poppy joins him under the covers, pulling the sheet over her head to shield them from the morning sun’s intrusion before she looks down at where he’s resting beside her belly. 

Her eyes are narrowed like they’re trying to fight consciousness, and her face is swollen in that adorable way it gets in the mornings, puffy and plump, and he wants to kiss it all over. 

She’s so beautiful, and she’s his, and it warms his heart every time he gets to wake up to her. 

“Having a private conversation with my daughter, if you don’t mind,” he smiles up to her, soft and teasing, before she kicks him gently and shuffles her way out from under the covers.

“You made her make me want to pee,” she huffs, feet padding across the room to the en suite, where she leaves the door open as she empties her bladder, and he re-situates himself back against the pillows at the top of the bed, one arm behind his head, so he can watch her when she makes her way back.

Her bump is big enough now that she almost waddles, 6 weeks of eating his mother’s cooking, and all the incredible food they have tried in  restaurants he has told her about over the years, and she had really popped in no time - and it’s the sexiest Nico thinks she’s ever been. Nose and lips constantly swollen with water retention, her voice changing, Nico witnessing the ever-growing struggle that she refuses to acknowledge - but she does everything so effortlessly, and without much complaint, that he finds it all endearing. 

His eyes are drawn to her belly every time he sees her, chest puffing with pride when he takes notice of the speedy growth of it, and he fixates on it for as long as she’ll let him - usually swatting at his chest and telling him to knock it off with a telltale flush to her cheeks whenever they’re around others.

Sharing his part of the world with her these last six weeks have been pure bliss, and as she ambles her way back over to where he lays, he can’t help but be grateful for whatever led him to this - to her crawling back into bed and straight into his arms. 

“I want you to teach me your language.” She mumbles into his chest, her body curved into his, legs tangling immediately as his arms circle around her.

“The language of love?” He asks with a wiggle of his brows, leaning in to kiss her lips, laughing against them as he feels them frown, 

“Don’t be gross you know what I mean,” she sighs, lips fighting a smile, and he kisses her again, helping her hook her leg properly over his so she can straddle him, her bump settling between the two of them as she relaxes over his hips. “Swiss-German isn’t on Duolingo, I checked. And I can’t have you and Cheeto conspiring against me in words I don’t understand, that’s not fair.”

She looks so cute, all pouty and pleading, and as the gravity of what she’s asking weighs down on him, he breaks out into a dreamy smile, himself. 

He can’t think of any other person who had wanted to speak his language. Too complicated for most, with too many dialects to grasp properly, he has always adapted to what the people around him need. English, back in the states, which he likes to think he has mastered by now, but he still trips up on the odd word, here and there.

Some Italian, some French. Odd bits of Czech and Swedish.

And German - he and Talia always spoke in plain German. 

It had never really bothered him, until now - until he has a girl on his lap, willing to learn something for him, and so their daughter can learn it too - passing his culture down another generation and sharing it with the love of his life. 

“What do you want to know?” He asks, hands on her hips as she runs hers along the broad expanse of his chest, fingers trailing on the little patch of hair on his chest that she’s always drawn too, holding him in place so she can lean in and kiss him, herself. 

“Everything,” she whispers against his skin, lips pressing back to the corner of his mouth. “You can teach me, right?”

“Yeah,” he shuffles his hips beneath her so she rests a little more comfortably, “I can teach you.”

He reaches up to move her hair behind her neck, leaning to press a kiss on the bare skin there, edging the strap of her bra down so that he can mutter the word for shoulder against the curve of hers, and she repeats it back to him, breathy and distant. 

He does the same along her collarbone, against her neck, nipping at her jaw and her cheek.

He distracts her with his teachings, and she relays each word back almost perfectly as he slowly repositions the two of them, laying her up against the pillows so she isn’t flat on her back, and pressing kisses down her body. 

With fingers grasped firmly around her calf, he lifts her leg slowly so that he can perch it over his shoulder, pecking at the side of her knee and barely just making eye contact over the curve of her bump. “You’re a fast learner, Mohn,” he praises, fingers tickling up and down her leg as she straightens her back to try and watch him as his face moves upward. “Can you remember what shoulder was?”

“Not with you between my legs like that,” she huffs, her voice just above a whisper - too used to keeping her responses low whenever the two of them have been staying at his parent’s house instead of his apartment, too used to holding back and releasing frustrated groans into the broad expanse of his chest. 

The two of them had gotten creative, most of their time spent around Nico’s friends and family, only a few days here and there alone in his apartment. 

Quickies in the car, fumbling hands under tables, rushed kisses whenever they get a second to themselves. There had even been a time where Poppy sought him out in the sauna.

“Should you be in here?” He had asked, straightening on the bench and running a hand through his hair as she came in and shut the door behind her, eyes on his glistening chest as she slowly made her way forward.

“Google says I’m good for 10 minutes,” she shrugged, reaching back to untie the straps of her bikini top. “Figured you’re so riled up you’ll only need 2 anyway.”

He had been training with Luca most of the day, leaving Poppy to hang with his sister, and the two of them had spent the entire time they were apart texting each other teasing messages about how much they missed each other - but were staying with his family again, and so the outdoor sauna he and his brother had built in the garden a couple of years ago was probably their best bet for privacy at that point.

Nico’s eyes flickered to the clock above the door, making a mental note of the time so he could make sure she was out in 8 minutes max, before helping her guide herself onto his lap, giving into both of their frustrations for as long as Poppy’s Googling would allow them. 

“You might have to teach me again when you get back from your trip.” She tells him, spreading her legs as much as she can to accommodate his figure. He’d feel guilty for leaving her behind with his family if she hadn’t been the one to push him to go away training for a week - him and Luca accepting after her insistence that she’d be fine in the company of his parents and his sister.

“We can do that,” he chuckles, his voice low, too. “And again the day after,” he kisses a little further up, twisting at her calf to reveal the inside of her thigh, “And the day after that,” and again, even further. 

“Nico,” she sighs, face scrunching, eyes fluttering shut as he glances up at her one more time, his face concealed now by the curve of her belly and relying on her subdued sounds to gauge her pleasure. 

Poppy’s back arches about as much as it can as Nico closes in on the apex of her thighs, a finger hooked through the bottom of her panties, pulling them to the side as he nips at the top of her thigh, anticipation building until her hand finds purchase on the back of his head.

He lays his tongue flat against her glistening folds, bringing it up to get a taste of the heaven between Poppy’s legs, and relies on her breathy gasps and the buck of her hips to guide him to pleasure her just how she likes, lips around the bundle of nerves that makes her jolt when he sucks a little too hard, moving slowly, teasingly at first before hunger takes over.

He can’t relent until he feels her legs trembling at either side of his head, Poppy’s body slithering beneath him as his tongue works between her folds, and he can taste nothing but her sweet arousal.

He almost loses himself in her before he distantly hears a whisper of his name, ears perking at the tone in her voice - not like the usual pleasured gasp or moan, just slightly off.

“Babe, stop,” Poppy whines, fingers clutched in his hair as he withdraws from her heat, pulling back enough to check on her over her belly.

“You okay?” He frowns, hand gripping her thigh, thumb rubbing soothingly as he takes in her frustrated expression.

“No,” she pouts, “I can’t see you. I don’t like not seeing you.”

Nico pokes his tongue to the side of his cheek to stop himself laughing, feeling her fingers loosen their grip on the strands of hair in their hold enough that he can sit up a little. “Do we need to get a little creative with mirrors, or something?”

“No, I need you to come up here.”

“But I like it down here.” He sighs in faux-protest, leaning his cheek against her knee as their gazes meet.

Poppy narrows her beautiful eyes at him, and there’s no stopping the smile after that. “My back hurts like this,” she huffs, “And I don’t want your mouth right now.”

“Well if you were patient, I would have used my fingers, too,” he chuckles, retreating entirely so he can crawl up the bed. 

“Don’t want your fingers either.” She starts making grabby hands when he gets closer, until he follows her guidance, holding himself up to the side of her and letting her pull him in to press their lips together. 

“Greedy,” he teases into her mouth, just as one of her hands drops to tug at the waistband of his boxers. He can’t blame her for wanting more, though - not with the way they’ve both been chasing every little pleasure where they can over the past 6 weeks, and not with how he’s set to spend a week away for training with his friends. 

Poppy’s hormones are yet to dissipate, and all he wants is to please her, so he lets her pull at his underwear with ease, distracting him with the swipe of her tongue against his, and the soft little moans she lets into his mouth as he works at her underwear, himself.

“You wanna go on your side?” He mumbles between her lips, remembering the position they had ended up the last time, Poppy unable to lay on her back too long, and her bump now getting in the way if she wanted to straddle him. He was too nervous for her to get on all fours, despite her protests that she could handle not collapsing onto her front, and they had ended up spooning. He had enjoyed it way more than he ever thought he would if anyone had told him months ago that being behind her on his side would have become their default position.

“Mmhm,” she hums, nodding frantically as they position themselves, his hands guiding her to comfort as she lays on her side, hair tucked behind her ear so he can press his lips to the curve of her neck before sinking into her from behind, her back arched just right to make it easy for him. 

“Fuck,” he groans under his breath as he pushes himself in to the hilt, Poppy squeaking, her arm bent back and nails digging into his shoulder, “You feel so good, baby.”

She feels tight and warm around him, in a way that makes him feel like his head might explode in pure bliss, and he presses his chest straight to her back. Their skin sticks together with perspiration, clamminess building as he starts to move, and her head falls back, baring the elongated slope of her neck for him to bury his nose into.

She smells so good, even after a full night tossing and turning in his arms, and the ever-present scent of his body wash lingers in the depths of her skin, Nico inhaling fully as her hips press back onto his, a slow rhythm building.

He holds himself up with an elbow against the mattress, his other arm curling over her waist, hand reaching between her legs to rub at her clit, slick with arousal and swollen from his previous attention to it, causing her legs to tremble again. 

Her arm tangles with his, nails scraping at his skin, pushing to apply more pressure where she needs it the most, and he grunts lowly into her neck, nipping at her skin and lifting his chin every now and then to gauge her response to his ministrations.

He can see her jaw slack, head craned back, lashes fluttering in blissed-out euphoria as she grows closer to her peak - and Nico is so in tune with her now that he feels like he’s there with her. A night pressed against her, and his previous stint between her legs already adding to his pleasure, and he can feel the tell-tale tension in the pit of his stomach, muscles in his thighs growing taut as he kicks up his pace a little, Poppy quietly moaning like music to his ears.

“You gonna come, huh?” He asks in a breathy growl, lips moving against the sensitive skin of her neck, “Can feel you getting close, baby, you’re so good for me.”

Nico can never forget the way such praise had made her cheeks flush all those months ago, the first time they had ever slept together - the night their baby girl had been conceived, and their lives had been set to change forever. He’s always seeking that same reaction, that glint in her eye and the stutter of her hips - and she always gives him just what he wants, walls tightening around him in a mind-numbing pressure, thighs shivering, spine curving, all muscles tensing as she falls apart. And he soon follows, coming inside of her like he’s all too used to now, teeth pressed into her shoulder and chest panting against her back.

The arm she had intertwined with his soon untangles itself to reach back and stroke through his hair as he comes down, scratching at his scalp as she gets her own breath back.

He brings his hand up to his mouth to clean his fingers of her arousal before he goes back to rest his hands against her belly, still inside her until he softens, pressing soft kisses to her skin until she giggles a little when it tickles, and the vibrations of her laughter force him to pull out before he starts to grow hard again.

He does so with a grunt and a hand on her hip, rolling out of the bed and toward the bathroom to get a cloth to clean her up, returning to her blissed out form splayed out on the mattress.

He bites back a smile as their eyes meet, edging her legs apart so he can wipe between them, swiping softly at her sensitive folds and watching her smile sleepily back at him as her chest rises and falls in laboured breaths. 

“Thank you,” she sighs, blinking slowly, and he feels his cheeks push into a dimpled grin as he watches her - completely lost in the afterglow.

“You don’t have to thank me, baby,” he throws the cloth over to the nightstand, crawling up Poppy’s body to press his lips to hers.

“You make me really happy.”

He smiles, slow but big, eyes tracing the way hers crinkle a little in the corners. “You make me happy too.”

“I said really happy.”

“You make me the happiest man in the world.”

“That’s better.” She bumps her nose against his before kissing him again. “You’re a quick learner, too.”

He chuckles against the corner of her mouth, pressing one more sweet kiss there before pushing himself up, looking around the floor for his pants. “Why don’t you take a shower and I’ll bring you some breakfast? Make you really really happy,”

“Or we could eat together and you could shower with me? We could have some more fun-,”

“I’m not falling for that again, babe, you don’t want to have fun, you want me to wash your hair because your arms ache.”

He’s been lured into the shower one too many times over the past 6 weeks with the promise of a good time, only for Poppy to claim they couldn’t get too frisky and risk slipping, so he may as well put his hands to good use and shampoo her hair - guiding him on where she liked him to apply pressure until he was pretty much giving her a scalp massage.

Poppy pouts, sinking back against the pillows as she watches him hop into his underwear, pulling the briefs until the waistband snaps against his hips, her eyes following them all the way up his legs. “I thought you loved me.”

His laughter bubbles all the way up from the pit of his stomach, swirling with adoration and amusement. 

“And now you’re laughing. Unbelievable.” She scoffs, feigning irritation with a telltale quiver at the corner of her lips. “Do I need to remind you that you’re going away for a whole week tomorrow? Living it up with your buddies and leaving me in the dust. I’m owed like 2 more orgasms at least before then.”

“I’ll give you three tonight, I promise.” He leans in again, thinking he’ll never make it out of the room at this point, Poppy having the most kissable lips in the entire universe. “We’ll figure out the mirror thing, so you can see me better between your legs.”

She hums against his mouth as she kisses him once more before asking, “Can you make me avocado toast please?”

“And a smoothie?” He asks, stepping away so that he isn’t drawn back in until mid-day.

She nods, a pretty smile stretching out across her swollen lips, watching as he walks backward towards the door. He keeps his eyes on her until he closes the door behind him, making his way through his family home with a smile that won’t give, feeling confident in his previous sentiment uttered to her. 

Nico Hischier might just be the happiest man in the world.

Nico had thought being away from Poppy for a whole week would have been torturous - that he would be counting down the hours until he could get back to her, distant from his friends and hating every second apart - but it had almost been the opposite of that, and he only had her to thank.

He thinks that maybe 6 weeks of living out the dream life with her, and knowing that would be exactly what he was returning to, allowed him to enjoy his week away - even though it wasn’t exactly a break. 

His off-season training had kicked up a gear while he was away, and he was thankful that he didn’t have to mope around missing her all the time and could concentrate a little on his gruelling routine.

They FaceTimed every morning, and every night before she went to sleep. Texted throughout the day, sending pictures back and forth of what each other got up to - Poppy spending her days with his parents and his sister, being doted on by his entire family in his absence, in ways that made his heart grow ten-fold, and his days spent training, lifting, running, hiking, doing all sorts of activities that he would send her several videos of and she would respond with some crazy comment that made him laugh out loud. 

She never made him feel guilty for being away from her - never made it seem like she felt like second best to his schedule, or his career, or the season looming in the background of their relationship. She never complained about him not being around, only ever gushed about who was back home with her - telling him how much she loved hanging around with Nina, who was back in Switzerland taking her on spa trips and exploring the city with her, teaching her about their hometown and filling in all the blanks that Nico had yet to clue her in on. 

And he was getting chirped like hell for walking around with a constant dopey smile on his face - something he should know better by now than to do on a boys trip, but he was long past caring.

He had the girl of his dreams blending in with the family he loved more than anything, and a little girl on the way - his best friend and brother rallying the boys to poke fun at him at the dinner table could do nothing to diminish the flame that was fuelled within him.

“I’m on my own when we get back to Jersey, even Nico’s wifed off, now,” Timo jokes as they sit around a large restaurant table on their last night of their trip, his big arm resting on the back of his chair as he sips on his beer. 

“You’re getting married, too?” Their friend Leo asks, brows raised as the influx of new information hits him all at once. “You guys don’t tell me anything!”

“It’s just a saying,” Nico scoffs, his bottle pressed to his lips before he takes a swig, “We’re not engaged.”

“Yet.” Luca adds, “I give him a month before he asks her, though. You should see him around her, he’s obsessed.”

“It won’t be a month,” he denies, ignoring the second half of the sentence, completely - there’s really no point denying that anymore, “I’d have to get her dad’s permission or whatever, and her parents sort of hate me.”

Timo barks out a laugh from across the table, “Oh yeah, he yelled at her dad!”

“You yelled at someone?”

“I didn’t yell,” he frowns, the word starting to lose all meaning with its overuse. “I just called him out over something. And, to be honest, I think he might have liked me more after that.”

Nico doesn’t really like looking back on that first night at the Jensen house - there was probably no preparing him for what he was walking into, and, entirely overwhelmed by the grandeur of it all, he had lost his head. But their family dynamic was difficult.

He had witnessed it only in short bursts, before - had seen Poppy around her mom a few times, had met her dad once before that in passing - and being immersed in it, being looked down on by her mother all day, overshadowed by her brother, ignored by her father, watching the whole conversation around their pregnancy unfold at the dinner table, tensions high and emotions rampant, he had let his frustrations build to the point of boiling over.

When Poppy’s brother had first started berating her, he had tried to write it off in his head as sibling banter of sorts. He and his siblings were never quite as cruel, but he knows sometimes brothers and sisters bicker like Poppy and Oli had - biting remarks and words intended to hurt. Then, it had spiralled.

He’s seen Poppy stick up for herself, before, but he’s never experienced her blow up like that. And he had understood it completely, considering he was reaching the brink of eruption, himself - and that’s not taking into account her heightened pregnancy hormones.

He had felt protective, and even upset, himself, that this thing his family had embraced with open arms, had celebrated at time where he and Poppy needed it the most, that was turning his life around in all the best possible ways, was being rained on by the rest of them, and when Poppy had stormed off, and her mom had followed, he couldn’t sit there in silence and not say something.

What kind of partner would that have made him?

“I think you underestimate her.” He had said, quiet but firm, as silence settled over the table in Poppy’s absence. 

The reactions had been slow, a gradual raise of Oli’s head, matching that of his wife, beside him, who pressed her lips together to hide what Nico hoped was a smile, and the prolonged lowering of cutlery from her father. 

“Excuse me?” Philip asked, leaning onto his elbows. “What did you say?”

“Poppy,” Nico clarified, “I don’t think that any of you really understand what she’s capable of.”

“That’s my daughter you’re talking about, I think I of all people understand-,”

“She’s really smart,” Nico had interjected before he lost the courage to do so, ignoring the twinge in his gut that told him to calm down, that he shouldn’t be risking his relationship with the future grandfather of his baby like this. “And really independent, and she somehow always knows what to do if you drop her into the middle of a really tough situation. If you could see her at work, you’d get it, people go to Poppy to fix things and for her to help them, and support them, and she always does it because that’s the kind of person she is.”

Neither of them had seemed to react, but had been so far into hyping himself up to let all of his thoughts out that he doesn’t think he would have noticed if they had. 

“You guys might not see it because you only see her as your daughter, or your little sister, but she is the strongest person I know. She’s an incredible woman, and she’s going to be an even better mother, and she deserves, more than anybody else, for her family to have her back right now.”

“It was just a joke, man,” Oli had scoffed, “It’s not that serious.”

“It is to her. She spent the entire ride here talking about you guys, about your family and everything you’ve built for yourself in California,” Nico had nodded to her brother, remembering all the ways Poppy had hidden her admiration for him behind sarcastic comments - even before the drive from Jersey City, over the years where she had opened up to him about her family, he had always seen a small dash of affection for her older brother - before turning to her dad, “And everything you’ve achieved, sir, everything you’ve built for yourself, and for your kids. She just wants to be seen as an equal, and I think if either of you actually noticed her, you’d see just what she’s capable of, and you wouldn’t make digs at her,” he had narrowed his eyes at Oli, “Or sit in silence while others make her feel like crap.” He hadn’t quite been able to meet Mr Jensen’s eye, but he felt a little relieved that he had managed to say what he needed. “You’re both supposed to have her back.”

Neither of them had come back to him after that, tensions rising once more in the growing silence, the hammering of his heart and the rush of blood to his head the only thing he could hear before he had excused himself, and had ascended through the house to find Poppy in her room. 

He hadn’t told Poppy at the time what he had said - he felt no need to do so, it wouldn’t have changed anything, and might have made her upset or even more stressed, which he never wanted to do. But Philip had changed after - had made more efforts to be there for Poppy, to get to know Nico, and the two of them had even gotten onto texting terms. 

So he doesn’t necessarily think that her parents hate him, but it’s definitely too soon to be asking for their daughter’s hand in marriage, even if it feels like the right thing to do.

Even if the thought of it has started to keep him awake at night, as Poppy tosses and turns to get comfortable beside him. Even if he finds himself stroking at the bare surface of her ring finger when they hold hands, and introducing her to others as his wife in a language she doesn’t fully grasp - pretending it’s a joke she isn’t clued in on, when really it feels more like a manifestation.

He twirls the ring she had gifted him on his own ring finger, the weight of it especially present in the midst of this conversation, frowning as Timo levels him with a stern look.

“You know that getting her dad’s permission isn’t like the law or anything right?”

He does know that. If he’s honest, he knows he’s using it as an excuse, too - but admitting to that at dinner with the boys feels like he’s setting himself up for an entire night of chirps.

He and Poppy have only technically been together for a couple months, and most of that time had already been spent apart. When he had asked her to move in, she had taken offence at him only asking due to the convenience of it all, and he half expects the same if he gets down on one knee.

He can hear her already, some muttering of, you only want to marry me because I’m having your baby, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

When Nico pictures his future, he pictures Poppy. 

Everything revolves around Poppy.

And yeah, their baby girl plays a big factor in that - seeing Poppy as a mother, raising their daughter together, providing a happy, stable home for her to thrive in. But it’s so much more than that, too.

It’s her being his partner. Waking up to her, tracing over the soft curve of her lips as she rouses from sleep, and knowing, as sure of anything in his heart, that no day can ever be bad if it starts out like that. 

Feeling secure in his job, despite all the times in his life he has felt anything but, and knowing that he can succumb to the pressure of it all without having to worry about her bailing. She has his back in ways no body ever has before. She understands the demand of his career, the fact that he isn’t available at all hours of the day to her every need - but she can take care of herself. She would rather do so, and she doesn’t make him feel guilty for the fact that sometimes his schedule takes priority - because the times that he can prioritise her are valued in ways that he never thought he could provide - not if anybody asked any of his exes, at least.

She understands his role as a captain, how he has to be there for the guys, understands his love for doing so, and has never in their entire relationship, made him feel like it’s a burden, or that she feels neglected because of it.

Even before they crossed the boundaries of something more. When they were just friends - as if they were ever just anything - and he could vent all of his worries and stresses to her, and she’d talk him out of ever seeing the negatives.

She has some sort of superpower, he thinks, for turning things around like that, and he wants to bask in the glory of it for the rest of his life.

He wants that warm feeling that floods his chest at the thought of going home to her after a long day to never go away.

And he knows that it isn’t a chunk of metal around her finger, or signatures on paper, that solidifies that.

But he wants it, all the same.

“I don’t know, we haven’t been together that long.”

Timo barks out a laugh, and a couple other guys at the table raise their brows. 

“Do you know when I first got to Jersey, Siegs was the one who introduced me to Poppy? You know what he said?”

Nico shakes his head, a crease forming between his brows as he frowns at his friend. 

“He points at her from across the room, we were at a bar, the one near his place, he says that’s Poppy, and I look over and I think, whoa, she’s gorgeous, maybe I will like it here,” Nico narrows his eyes as Timo recalls the story, his hands unintentionally balling into fists below the table, “And before I can even get a word out, he goes, Nico’s Poppy. He told me not to even think about it.”

“We weren’t in a relationship, though.” He argues, despite the way his lips twist into an almost-smile, one trying to hide itself from prying eyes. He does quite like the ring of that. Nico’s Poppy.

It reflects that base level possessiveness he feels when he looks at her - the way he’s probably felt since the day they met, sharing a bond he had never really shared with anyone else. Feeling jealous when any of the other guys would talk to her alone, as petty as it might have been, and only ever wanting her attention on him. 

“You’ve always been in something with her,” Timo shrugs, “There’s no point delaying the inevitable if it means you get to make sure she’s your Poppy forever.”

“We don’t have to be married for her to be mine.”

He does feel comfortable knowing that - feels sure and safe in their dynamic, now - knowing the life they share, the home they share, the baby they’re so close to bringing into this world together. Knowing how much she loves him, how much she’s willing to be there for him, even when he feels like he isn’t enough for her. 

He’s never felt so secure in a relationship in his life, and he doesn’t need to force either of them into marriage when they’ve never really had that conversation - even if the few times he’s attempted to joke about it, she has been receptive.

“I don’t know why you’re trying to talk yourself out of it.” Luca chimes in from the side of Nico, “You’re never gonna find anybody more perfect for you. I think our parents like her more than they even like us at this point,” he tells the rest of the table, swatting at his little brother’s shoulder, before reaching for his beer. 

“Yeah,” Nico sighs with a smile, knowing already there’s no one more perfect for him - he’s only been cursing himself all summer for not coming to that conclusion much sooner. “Mom will probably already have asked her for me while she’s been with her this week.”

He knows he’s delaying the inevitable, trying to pretend that marriage isn’t what he wants right now with Poppy - he had pictured it the second she told him she was pregnant, his life flashing before his eyes in home-movie-esque glimpses, babies, and white dresses, and a big house with a nice plot of land in the back for him to build a tree house like in the movies.

He knows, too, deep down, that there is the slimmest possible chance of rejection. She loves him. She shows him every day just how much - and she’s been so willing, so far, to fit herself into his life in whatever way is easiest. 

He knows when he sees her, tomorrow, that the thought of dropping to one knee as soon as his eyes lock on her will cross his mind.

And he thinks when he does get back, after a week of chirps about being wifed off, he might just test the waters.

Nico doesn’t think he’s ever had a quicker flight than the one he and Luca took back from Tenerife. From check-in, to boarding, to the plane ride, itself, he felt like he had blinked and landed back on home soil, heart beating that little bit quicker in anticipation of seeing Poppy - of his eyes laying on that perfect bump for the first time in a week and catching the slightest difference, making up for lost time while they can in the privacy of their apartment before they spend the week with his brother and sister.

The train ride from the airport flies by too - Nico feeling excitement akin to when he was younger, and his dad would take him and Luca to go practice at their local rink, and he was at a point in his life that he loved nothing more than hockey, wanted nothing more than to don his skates and play to his heart’s content.

He feels that way about Poppy, now, he thinks. 

Like she’s something he can dream toward - push and strive to keep her in his life for as long as he possibly can. 

It feels like the blink of an eye before he’s putting his key in the door of the apartment, pushing in with his case following behind him, discarded in the entryway as he steps though the hall in search of her. 

“Baby, are you home?” He calls, his heart thumping as he waits to catch his first proper glimpse of her in a week.

“In the kitchen!” She calls back, voice like his favourite song, and when he steps into the room he sees her by the oven, prepping for dinner. When she had first offered to pick him up from the train station, he had joked that he didn’t trust her driving alone on European roads, but the truth of it was that he felt better coming home to her - where she was safe, and he wasn’t putting her out just so that he could selfishly see her sooner. 

And seeing her there, in the heart of the apartment he had bought last summer, when the idea of her ever being in it was nothing but a dream, swollen and round and growing their baby, he thinks that reality is more than worth the wait.

“Hey,” he sidles up behind her, arms placed on either side of her body on the counter as she chops at some peppers. Poppy angles her head so that he can press his usual kiss to her cheek, and Nico feels it puff up with a smile. 

She smells clean and fresh, like home, like a mixture of the detergent she uses on their sheets, and his body wash that she still likes to steal, and he swipes his nose at her flesh as he takes a prolonged inhale of her skin, filling his lungs with the familiarity of it and making up for the days he spent away. 

“Hi,” she turns back enough that he can press a kiss to her swollen lips, slow and sweet, “I figured you’d be beat when you got home so I ran you a bath, I only just shut it off like 2 minutes ago.”

He kind of likes how there isn’t a big fuss about him coming home - likes that she’s welcoming him back like it hasn’t been almost a week, and it diminishes the guilt he had been feeling for leaving her behind at all. It reinforces the thoughts he’s always had - that Poppy makes everything easy. 

She puts the knife down and turns in his arms when he kisses her again, and his hand swipes from the curve of her belly to the small of her back, keeping her stomach pressed to his.

“You’re too good to me,” he mumbles before his lips touch hers again, nose bumping teasingly at hers when she starts to chase him for more. “There’s room in that tub for 3, you know.”

“It’s supposed to be for you to relax,” she tells him as her hands travel the broad expanse of his chest, sweeping to his shoulders and down the width of his arms that are circled around her. “And I’ll have dinner ready for when you get out.”

“Trust me, Mohn,” he hums, his hands travelling slowly down her sides, “That is my idea of relaxing.” And then he leans down to hook an arm behind her knees, lifting her before she has a chance to protest, all too prepared after a week of training to carry her down the hall toward the bathroom, making sure she isn’t too curled up that it’s uncomfortable with her bump. “Dinner can wait.”

“You missed me that much, huh?” She giggles as he sends a gentle kick to the door, letting it swing open before he steps into the room. “You gonna have me sit on your lap while we eat, too?”

“Yeah, you can feed me if you want,” he laughs as he places her on the counter in the bathroom, her legs parting immediately for him to slot himself between them. “And I missed you more than it might be healthy to admit.”

“I missed you too,” Poppy smiles softly, hands reaching up to tuck the grown out flicks of hair behind his ears as his own hands place themselves on either side of her hips, “Appreciated all those sweaty workout videos you sent me though, definitely made up for you being gone.”

“Thought they might,” Nico chuckles as he starts working at undressing her, sliding her shorts down her legs and throwing them into the hamper. “Appreciated that video you sent me of your belly moving like something out of Alien.”

“She’ll probably start up soon, she likes to move while I’m eating now, she keeps getting the hiccups, it’s quite cute.”

Nico leans down once he’s lifted the big t-shirt that covers Poppy’s torso, and while she works it off, he presses a soft kiss to her bare belly, nudging the curve of it with his nose before he stands to his usual height and starts to work his own clothes off. He can feel the heat of her gaze as he steps out of his underwear, and it prickles at his skin like a lingering longing, like the way his own feelings have lingered over the past week.

A week where he had pushed forward on the sheer thought of Poppy, and now that she’s in front of him, those thoughts swirl into something overwhelming. 

He offers her a hand to help her down from the counter, and guides her toward the tub, the water still hot, but not scolding, on it’s way to tepid as he steps in and positions himself toward the back. He holds her steady as she steps over the edge, and sinks down as she lowers herself, her bump making it difficult to do so with ease, but he spreads his legs for her to sink back into him, and he soon feels her relax with her back to his front.

“Does it hurt,” he mutters with his limbs curved around hers, “When she moves a lot?”

He had noticed before he left that things had become a little more difficult for Poppy - sleeping, staying on her feet for extended periods - and when she had sent him a video of movements she could see through her belly, he had thought it seemed uncomfortable, but she just shrugs against him.

“It’s just weird, I guess,” she sighs, muscles seeming to melt against him. “Depends how she’s positioned, she was playing my ribs like a xylophone the other day, that wasn’t fun.”

Nico smiles, hand coming around her front to caress her belly, rubbing gentle circles into her soft skin. “Where is she now?”

“I think her butt is at the front,” her hand rests on top of his, moving it up a little, and a bit more to the side, “She’s gonna give me hell later, I can feel it.”

“Maybe she’ll behave now that her daddy’s home,” he mutters, his lips falling by instinct to kiss at Poppy’s bare shoulder before he hooks his chin over it, “Maybe she missed me too.”

“She definitely missed you. She practically did somersaults every time you came up in conversation.”

“My girl,” he smiles into Poppy’s neck, “Did she kick for Nina yet?”

“Oh yeah,” she laughs, her hand moving to trail up and down Nico’s leg beside her, “She jumped around so much in there that I learned a new word while you were gone.”

“From Nina?”

“Häsli,” she says with perfect, practiced pronunciation. 

“Little bunny,” Nico chuckles, both hands patting at the bump where his daughter rests. “I like it.”

“Good, ‘cause your parents have started calling her it, too. No respect for Cheeto around here.”

Nico finds himself melting in ways he didn’t think he needed to - an ache so present in his bones he hadn’t even realised it was there, all of a sudden fading to nothing as he sits in the tepid, soapy water with his girls in front of him. Poppy absentmindedly uses her fingers to trickle droplets down his calves, and makes space for him to rest his head in the space where her neck and shoulder meets. 

“Who’s the better teacher?” He asks, looking up and watching as the width of her cheeks puff out into a close-lipped smile. 

“Well, you have an automatic advantage, considering I can’t ask your sister to teach me all the dirty stuff.”

“Is that all I’m good for, the dirty stuff?”

“I’m yet to be able to hold a conversation that has nothing to do with body parts, so you tell me.”

“Yeah, well the more you learn, the less I get away with, so we might have to put a pause on the lessons.”

“And what is it you think you’ve been getting away with?” Poppy asks, twisting a little so she can look back at him, and it’s when her eyes meet his that Nico feels some warped sense of security wash over him. He hadn’t planned on bringing this up, especially not so soon after coming back from his trip, but it just feels right.

And it’s better to get it out of the way sooner - where better to test the waters than in the bathtub?

“Whenever we meet someone, I’ve been introducing you as my wife,” he admits, cheek pressed to her shoulder blade as he looks up at her through thick lashes. 

Her lips twist in amusement, eyes shimmering in the warm light of the bathroom, and it seems like she’s biting back a smile at the revelation. His heartbeat steadies just a little. “Oh really? How have you been getting around the distinct lack of a ring on my finger?”

“I tell them your hands are too swollen to wear it,” he admits, taking a hand from her belly to pick up her left one. 

Her smile fades slowly as she glances down, his fingers squeezing a little at the one closest to her pinky. “Wait, you’re serious?”

“Very.”

“What about-,” she starts, and before she can glance back, Nico lifts his own left hand in anticipation of what she’s about to ask, the signet ring she had gifted him when she first came overseas, that she hasn’t even noticed for as long as they’ve been together out here, sitting comfortably on his own ring finger. “Oh.”

“I can get you your own, if you want,” he tries, trying not to hold his breath as he makes the suggestion - makes light of it, even, just to test her reaction. Her face is angled forward as she looks down at his finger, and her own hand twists to fiddle with the ring that sits there, so he can’t exactly see what she’s thinking. “I know you said you already had one, but-,”

“Just to sell the story better?” She asks, still looking at his hand. 

“Or because I’m in love with you,” he pouts, his lips moving against her skin as he speaks, anticipating a rejection of sorts - although he still feels the lax press of her spine to his chest. She hasn’t gone rigid, hasn’t recoiled from his touch - their bodies are still merged together in the tight space, and a part of him feels better for it. 

She turns, finally, levelling him with a look that has her gaze flickering between his eyes, like she’s trying to read his mind.

“You better not be proposing to me in the bathtub,” she frowns, “You can’t ask someone for their hand in marriage within 6 feet of a toilet, Nico, that’s definitely an unwritten rule.”

He feels something dissolve in his chest as it bubbles with affection, spreading through his bloodstream and directing itself to every corner of his body - joyous laughter rippling up his throat and spilling out into her neck. 

“Why are you laughing?” She giggles, her body shaking against his in the most delightful way, “I’m dead serious, anywhere but the bathroom, please.”

“Okay,” he chuckles, wanting nothing more than to lean up and press his lips to her beautiful smile. “I’ll bare that in mind.”

“You do that.”

I will, he thinks, taking that as her confirmation.

Not in the bathtub is a far cry from not ever.

Maybe Timo was right - as much as it pains Nico to think - maybe she has always been his Poppy, and maybe, if he can find the right time and place to ask, she always will be. 

Poppy

Last year, Poppy’s summer had felt like the longest of her life.

She had worked all the way through to Mid-July - choosing to work around the summer programmes that were run through the Foundation had taken up most of her time, and she would rather have taken the extra pay than mope around thinking about how everyone else was spending their time off.

Ever since college, she and Nia would spend their weekends together in the summer - and that worked the same last year, with both of them still working in Jersey and having their family nearby. It worked for their other friends too - until their lives away from the group started to take priority, and their group became whittled down to just the two best friends.

Friend group outings had become a rare occurrence, and so when they did happen, they were quite the spectacle - weekend trips down to Atlantic City, or bagging invites to parties the girls really had no business being - like rooftop bars in Manhattan, where a player from the Giants was throwing a party, and their friend Kelsey’s boyfriend, Liam, had somehow secured their names on the list. 

Poppy and Nia always got ready together - reminiscent of their teenage years, blasting music through the speakers in Poppy’s bedroom and letting Nia raid her closet while she did her makeup.

“We’re gonna need to prep Els on how to be cool, she can’t be asking for players to sign her napkin so she can frame it for Jensen.” Nia called as she came out of Poppy’s closet, shrugging into the strappy sleeves of a mini dress she had borrowed, pulling her hair from getting tangled beneath the arms. 

“Elsie’s not coming,” Poppy replied absentmindedly, a small, soft brush sweeping pigment across her eyelid, “It’s just me, you and Kels,”

“What? Why?” Nia had whined, zipping her dress up behind her back. “Did her sitter bail?”

“This stays between me and you, but she’s pregnant again,” Poppy told her, relaying the cliff-notes version of the hour-long conversation she had had with her cousin earlier that day. “So no more girls nights with her for a while.”

“Poor girl,” Nia huffed, falling back onto Poppy’s bed so that she could put her heels on, “I can’t think of anything worse than being pregnant right now, I’m in my prime, I’m not letting anyone dislodge my organs. Nothing is worth that kind of damage.”

“Gross” Poppy shuddered, the thought of having a baby and her age sending literal shivers down her spine. “But same. I’m so far off of being ready to be a parent, it isn’t even funny.”

She had weirdly enough been thinking a lot about what her life was turning out to be around that time - spearing straight for her 25th birthday and feeling the daunting pressure of a looming quarter-life crisis, she had put some thought at least into the traditional stuff.

But babies hadn’t been at the forefront of her mind. 

“Plus, it’s hard enough to find a remotely decent guy to go on one singular date with, never mind raise a child. Elsie got lucky with Jared.”

“Right,” Nia had scoffed half-heartedly, ambling up behind Poppy and finishing off the curls in her hair. There had been a look in her eyes - dismissive and evasive - that had caught Poppy’s attention.

“What’s the look for?”

“Nothing,” Nia shrugged, lips turned down in denial and continuing to work at her best friend’s hair. “Just think that for you of all people, it’s not that hard to find somebody decent.”

Poppy frowned, watching Nia behind her, trying to think of a single guy she had ever dated or spoken to that had garnered her approval.

She had always been supportive of Poppy, knowing that if she were to start something up with a guy, it would be after a lot of thought and meticulous research - Poppy rarely dated, and if she did, it mostly didn’t work because she wasn’t that good at it. She was always so focused on work, and her friends, that trying to make time for anybody outside of all that just felt exhausting. 

Guys usually ended up breaking things off with her, telling her they could tell her heart wasn’t in it, and Nia would always curse them whenever Poppy relayed it back to her, but there was always that look - like she knew something Poppy didn’t.

“You’ve literally watched my every attempt at a relationship crash and burn, Ni,” she narrowed her eyes, “I don’t get what part of my dating life seems easy to you.”

“The part where you have a ready made relationship just waiting for you to press the start button.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Nico,” Nia said, like it had been the most obvious answer in the world. 

The last thing Poppy had wanted to think about - again - was Nico.

She had been trying to think of anything but since he had left Jersey, but everything unfortunately was starting to remind her of him, just as they did every other summer.

Walks in the sun, passing places they would always go together - snapping a picture of a coffee from her favourite shop and thinking of who she could send it to instead of him. Running their shared route, soft breeze running through her hair as she jogged through the park, playing music in her headphones that he had once recommended.

It had been hard to shake him off - but she had grown to be good at it over the years.

Nia bringing him up had been new - unexpected - and wasn’t contributing to the routine of forgetting he existed until he would come back to New Jersey in September. 

“The second that one of you makes a move, you’re literally ready to go with the perfect man.”

“I’m not gonna be in a relationship with Nico,” Poppy snickered, trying to find humour in what nonsense her best friend was coming up with. 

She didn’t have a ready to go relationship with Nico Hischier. They were friends. That was all they would ever be.

And not only had she told Nia that a hundred times before, she also knew that Nico had said the same - shrugging off jokes made in front of the two of them and smiling awkwardly at Poppy whenever anyone had dared to make a comment on their friendship being anything other than just that. 

“We don’t even talk for like 4 months out of the year,” Poppy frowned, referring to the routine Nico had adopted over the years, of returning home to Switzerland for the summers, and leaving his friendship with Poppy behind - only communicating through social media likes and odd messages in the same conversation thread within a wider group chat.

She had never really minded it - not to the point of moping - but she had always wished things could be just a little different on that front.

“I don’t get why you guys don’t just text each other,” Nia rolled her eyes as she ran the barrel of the curling iron down the lengths of Poppy’s hair, eyes meeting hers in the reflection of the mirror. “You act like you’re not allowed to cross his mind all summer, it’s stupid, no offence.”

“He deserves a break, Ni,” Poppy had shrugged, “From everything, especially after how the season ended, I’m just a reminder of his life here, and he probably wants to escape that.”

“I don’t think he means you when he says those sorts of things, babe,” she responded, letting the curl drop into her free hand and scrunching it until it cooled down. 

“How did we even get onto this?”

“Because I’ve been looking for an opportunity to bring it up, duh,” Nia jested, “C’mon, just reach out. It doesn’t have to be a text, what was the last thing he posted on his instagram stories? Just reply to that.”

Poppy’s lips twisted, her phone feeling increasingly heavy in her grip as she weighed her options up. 

For as long as she had known him, her and Nico would never really talk over the summer. She lived her life, and he lived his, away from the Devils, away from The Rock, and it had worked well, for the most part.

Sure, a part of her always missed him. A part of her would watch his stories over, would think about what his life in Switzerland looked like, and if she could ever possibly fit into it - but another part, a larger part, would suppress all that. Push her feelings back down until they were nothing - shut away behind some barricaded door in the back of her mind.

It was weird, she thought, how much they flourished in his absence - thoughts she wouldn’t usually spare dedicated to him. Especially now that Nia was bringing it up out of nowhere.

Her perceptive best friend suggesting there could ever have been something more was sparking a flame within her she had long tried to put out. But it wasn’t entirely Nia’s doing - there had been embers floating around her subconscious for a while, now.

She blamed that night in Finnegan’s Bar, not long before he had left.

Cuddled up to him in that booth, comfortable in the lingering silence, the steady beat of his heart below her hand. She had thought, at the end of that night, that something might have been different - and she realised that had probably been why she was thinking about him more that summer.

Poppy unlocked her phone and brought up her Instagram, scrolling through the stories on the home page until she saw his picture. 

“It’ll probably be some workout video, I can’t reply to that, he’s gonna think I’m thirsty.”

“You are,” Nia had jibed, “Pop, honey, you either gotta put up or shut up. If you’re not gonna reach out, I don’t wanna hear any more of your whining about him for the rest of the month.”

“You brought him up,” Poppy frowned, “Please be kinder to me when you have hot tools in your hands, you’re giving me anxiety.”

“Whatever, I’m gonna get another drink before we go, do you want one?”

“I’m good,” Poppy smiled, watching her best friend put the curling iron down safely on the heat-proof mat on her dresser and make her way out of the bedroom and through to the kitchen. 

Her thumb had hovered on her screen for a good minute before she pressed down, biting the bullet and viewing his most recent story with bated breath. 

There were a few of them - it seemed like he was out with friends - probably-drunken selfies and videos of a DJ at some club - but the last photo was the one that caught her attention, properly. 

Nico with his arms around a girl - a gorgeous girl, sharp features, perfect hair, piercing eyes, a killer smile - and his lips pressed to her temple. 

She had let the photo time out before it shrunk away into his private profile, and she had felt like time had stopped in place after that - until the sound of Nia’s heels clicking back down the hallway caught her attention.

“I know you said no but I made mine too strong so I had to pour it out a little and make two,” she had said as she entered the room, Poppy locking her phone and turning it face down before she could see.

“Thanks,” she had accepted the drink with a smile, gulping it down in the hopes that the liquor might have burned through some of the growing ache in her chest. 

“Damn girl,” Nia had scoffed, “Thought you were good?”

“I realised I should drink for two, considering Elsie can’t anymore.”

“Good point! We should both do that, show our solidarity for the cause.”

“Exactly. Getting shit-faced is what she’d want us to do in her honour.”

Nia glanced down at Poppy’s downturned phone - a look Poppy wouldn’t have caught if she wasn’t nervously watching her best friend in the hopes that she, for once in her life, wouldn’t be so perceptive. 

“I’ll have a baby with you.”

Poppy laughed, right from the depths of her chest, tension easing from her shoulders as she shook her head.

“I don’t want a baby,” she declined, rolling her eyes and standing up, “I want to get drunk on rooftop bars with my friends and NFL players and eat as much deli meat and cheese as my body can handle for as long as it can handle it.”

“That sounds like a plan.”

Poppy didn’t know at the time why that picture on Nico's story had felt like a kick to the gut, but she had swallowed down her hurt and smiled, tight lipped, at her best friend.

Getting wasted and forgetting about Nico for the rest of the summer - that had sounded like a plan. 

Looking back on last summer, Poppy barely recognises her old life. Rooftop parties with endless cocktails, tiny dresses and high heels and hair that didn’t fall flat and frizzy the second she blinked too hard at it in the mirror. 

She can barely remember being able to look down at her thighs without being sat down.

The only thing that remains the same is finding time to lounge around on the beach. Growing up, spending her time on Jersey beaches - her family renting a house in Mantoloking most years, or making the trip down to Ocean City and Cape May with her girls when she was old enough - had become a staple for her, and she has been so thankful that it’s something her and Nico share a love of.

She’s adored her summer in Switzerland, so far - as far away from expectations as it might yet have been. 

She hadn’t expected to get such little one-on-one time with Nico, but she can hardly complain - not when his family and friends have all welcomed her with such open arms. It’s something so new to her too, getting to do everything in a group, bonding with more than just Nico, sharing parts of herself and her life beyond what she has only ever shared with him before, and she’s never really felt so at home with such a close-knit family.

She watches sports on the couch with his dad, goes to the grocery store with his mom, plays cards out on the deck with his brother, spends as much time with his sister as she would with Nia back home in Jersey, and she gets Nico to herself at night, or on the rare couple of days in a row they’ll stay in his apartment closer to the city.

But she loves this - being so close with everyone. Loves it so much that she doesn’t really care that it isn’t just her and Nico, she doesn’t really want it to be.

Katja helps her through the rough stages of her pregnancy - sometimes anticipating symptoms before they even come on, sharing tips on how to lessen the constant ache in her stomach, how to sleep easier, what supplements she can take that don’t make her feel nauseous again or bloated and heavy. 

Rino helps too, recalling what he can of his wife’s pregnancies, remembering how Katja could get her back pain to go away by relaxing in a rocking chair with a cushion wedged into her arch, and he had dug the exact one chair the depths of the garage, making sure it was safe after years of misuse and placing it out on the deck in the backyard, right beside what had always been Nico’s chair.

Luca is probably the best language teacher of them all, not that she’d tell Nico that - he’s the only one with the nerve to correct her, doing so with an amused glint in her eye until she gets it perfect and offering her a proud nod when she can finally speak a full sentence - a useful one at that, instead of random words and nicknames.

Nina allows Poppy to keep an essence of her independence - of the girl she was before she was pregnant, or had come back to Switzerland as Nico’s girlfriend. She makes sure Poppy keeps doing things for herself - accompanies her to the salon, to the local mall, gives her valued opinion on different outfits Poppy tried, and what makes her look like a frumpy mom and not her usual self. The two of them trade books between each other, get ready with each other when the group all go out, and it fills a gap that Poppy never even realised she had until she met her - this desire for a big sister, a want for something she never even knew had been ripped away from her before she was ever even born. 

And Nico.

She has all of this, now, because of him.

He’s given her a life so sweet, and so wonderful, and it’s barely even started yet.

Their little girl is still sat comfortably in her stomach, kicking and moving and causing aches all over, but she’s contributed to a world so beautiful that Poppy doesn’t want to remember life before it. 

And he gave it all to her.

He gave her their baby, his family, summer sun in a foreign country, rocking chairs and card games and trips to the mall. 

Trips to the beach with his siblings, who don’t let him forget his status as the youngest, doting on Poppy while teasing him the whole time, breaking off from the group in search of gelato for her, and none for him, because he has two hands and two feet and a wallet bigger than anyone’s to go and get his own.

And that leaves her with just him, wading in the gloriously warm shallow sea, the sun glistening against soft waves, and his hands around her, large and safe, happy and secure - and so in love she hasn’t stopped smiling in weeks.

So infatuated by the man in front of her, that she’d let him do anything, take her anywhere he wants.

“It’s a shame it’s not just the two of us, today,” Nico hums, a large hand stroking up Poppy’s back, sliding under the straps of her bikini top and tugging, teasingly, “Bet I could have convinced you to take this off.”

“We’re in public, perv,” she scoffs, her own palms flat against his chest, “Also, you can’t accuse your own family of cockblocking you.”

“I can when they won’t leave you alone,” he pouts, “My brother and sister never waited on me hand and foot, if I want gelato I have to go get it myself.” He mimics his sisters voice, face scrunching adorably. 

“My heart bleeds for you,” she groans in feigned pity, “I’m carrying precious cargo, and there’s some serious name stakes up for grabs right now.”

“So you’re pitting them against each other for your own benefit?”

“Exactly, you Hischiers love a little healthy competition,” Poppy smiles, back arching as his hand travels down her spine, the curve of her belly pressing right into his below the water. His skin smooth and hot, making her want to press even harder. “You need to up your game, I’ve got a godparent thing going on with some of the boys, too, you wouldn’t believe how much they’re willing to do for you when they think it puts them ahead in the rankings.”

“We’re not leaving our baby girl in the hands of any of those idiots in the unfortunate event of our deaths, Poppy.” Nico chuckles, lifting her with hands lowered to the backs of her thighs so that he can carry her deeper into the water. 

“I know that, and you know that,” she presses a finger to the tip of his nose before her arms curl around his broad shoulders, “But if it means that Timo always brings me madeleines when he’s around, and Jesper and Nic always buy cute baby clothes for us and send me pictures, then who are we to rain on their parade?”

The smile that stretches across Nico’s lips is fond as he asks, “Who’s the front runner?”

“Well, Timo for now, obviously.”

“Obviously,” he agrees in good humour.

“But I’ve managed to convince Jonas he’s in with a good chance after we went to visit him, he kept bringing cut up fruit out to me while I was around the pool.”

“Baby, I cut up that fruit for you, don’t let him take the credit.”

“Oh, well then he’s disqualified for being a liar.”

“Why’s Timo the obvious choice?” He asks, now at a point in the water that if he let Poppy go, she would only just be able to keep her chin above the water, and she clutches on a little tighter.

“He’s an October baby, like me.” The hands around the back of his neck start playing with the ends of his hair, scratching softly at the skin as she presses herself entirely against him. “If anyone’s gonna raise our daughter, it’s going to be a Libra, we’re fair people.”

“Makes complete sense,” he jokes, “Written in the stars.”

“You get it,” she smiles, ignoring his sarcasm entirely. “But I’m waiting for the penny to drop when they realise all the boys back home are gonna want to be in the running. I have big plans for when we get back to Jersey, they’ve all got a lot of catching up to do, Luke’s in with a pretty good chance, you know.”

“You and that kid, I swear,” 

“He’s very precious to me, Nico.”

“Yeah, don’t I know it.”

“Jack on the other hand has dropped way out of contention. We were talking on the phone the other day while you were training and called me Pop-belly. That’s out of line.”

Nico knows that laughing in any way at that is going to earn him some sort of reaction, but he really can’t help the way his lips quiver of their own volition. 

“Yeah, laugh it up,” Poppy scoffs, swatting lightly at his shoulder, “I’ll be the only one laughing when he turns into my own personal smoothie butler when we go back. He has no chance of getting back in my good graces, but I won’t be telling him that.”

“You’re an evil genius.”

“It’s your devil spawn communicating through the womb,” Poppy hums, leaning in to press a proud kiss firmly to the dimple that forms in his cheek when he smiles at her. “I was a good girl before you corrupted me.”

“You were never a good girl,” he smirks, with his voice low, one hand travelling up the back of her thigh until he can pinch at her ass. 

“Watch it, Hischier,” she warns, feeling steady enough in his hold to take an arm from around his neck and stroke the side of her finger along his slightly stubbled jaw. “You’re on thin ice with me already after shaving again, you don’t want to start being mean.”

“Oh, I’m being mean?” He asks, the hand that had pinched at her flesh now slipping beneath the fabric at the top of the back of her thighs. “You’re the one walking around in this bikini and not letting me touch you.”

“We’re in public, people get arrested for doing the things you want to do to me in places like this.”

“Could be worth it,” he shrugs, “You’re forgetting I’m kind of a national treasure, baby, they’d probably let me go with a warning.”

“Yeah, well, can’t risk it. I kind of need you. Plus, I think you’ve already done enough touching, you’ve literally impregnated me.”

“Way to make it sound romantic.” Nico mumbles, leaning to press a kiss to her bare shoulder, nose nudging once more at the thin straps of her bikini that curve around her slender neck. “Could never touch you enough.”

“You’re touching me right now, aren’t you?”

“Not where I want to.” He repositions where her legs are curled around his hips, just to emphasise his point, pulling her tighter around his torso until he can buck up into her and feel her shudder against him. 

“You can touch me wherever you want later,” she promises, her eyes meeting his, speckles of sunlight glistening off the surface of the water and straight into his irises, warming them in a way that shoots heat all the way down her spine.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“You better.” She presses a sweet kiss straight to his lips, one hand holding him close as they part, and she kisses him quick again, before saying, “Thank you for cutting up my fruit.”

He smiles, eyes squinting against the sunlight and crinkling in the corners, deep dimples forming in each cheek.

“Thank you for having my baby.”

She giggles, kissing him again, unable to resist muttering, “Thank you for putting a baby in me,” against his lips before he nips at her mouth, moving along her face in a targeted attack as his hands grip firmer at her hips, tickling her until the sound of laughter fills the air around them.

—

Poppy and Nico had made their way out of the water and onto their towels in the shade by the time Nina and Luca had returned with 3 cones of gelato in hand. Luca had already eaten half of his, coffee-flavoured, and Nina had strawberry, handing a cone with a white scoop over to Poppy.

“Fior di latte,” she had smiled sweetly, “Like milk ice, you said that was your favourite.”

“Thank you,” Poppy had blushed, the smallest gesture of her remembering that sending a buzz down her spine. Nico’s putting beside her, and mutterings of how they could have gotten him one, too, soon forgotten when she started to share.

The two of them had gone for a walk to find a bar on the beach front where they could watch soccer, leaving Poppy and Nico cuddled up on their towel, lost in their own world as they shared the cone between them.

She was resting between Nico’s legs, absentmindedly licking at the dessert when a screaming blur had zoomed past them, kicking sand up in their wake as three young children chased each other down to the water.

Poppy thinks that a year ago, she might have pouted about the sand being thrown onto her legs, but she finds herself smiling softly as she reaches back with the cone, waiting for Nico to have a turn taking a bite.

“Do you ever think about having more?” She can tell without looking back at him that he’s speaking around a mouthful of gelato, and even the thought of it makes her chest warm with the rumbles of laughter. 

“Kids?” Poppy asks, and he hums affirmatively in response, “We don’t even have this one yet, babe,”

“I know,” he mutters, and she can hear the smile in his tone as his thumb swipes at the curve of the top her bump, “But do you ever think about what our family might look like in a few years?”

Our family still makes her heart skip a beat, and she finds herself relaxing even further into his embrace - melting, almost, into his chest, warmed by the rays of sun he has been bathing under.

“We probably need to see how difficult this one ends up being before I think about having any more.” She licks quickly at the drip travelling down her thumb before offering the cone back to Nico, who shakes his head as he lowers it to her shoulder, nose nudging against her skin.

“Should have put two in you while I had the chance,” he mumbles, lips pressed into the side of her neck, trailing soft, but purposeful kisses.

“Not how that works, babe,” Poppy chuckles, lifting her chin to give him more space for his ministrations. “Although they do run in my family, my dad’s a twin.”

“There’s two of him?”

“Yeah, him and my uncle Peter. That’s where the whole name thing started in my family.”

“Name thing?” He juts his chin when she looks back, asking for another taste. 

“We’re all P’s,” she frowns as she focuses on directing the cone back toward his mouth, making sure she doesn’t smush it in his face.

“Oli isn’t a P.” The gelato lines his lips messily as he speaks, and her eyes start to crinkle in the corners as she takes him in. How can he be so stupidly pretty with mint choc chip smearing his upper lip?

“Oli’s a fraud,” Poppy chuckles, swiping a thumb against the soft flesh of his mouth, bringing it to her own to clear it of the cold, sticky substance. “His name’s Philip Jr, but people started calling him Lil Phil and it gave him a complex.”

“Poppy, baby, did you start calling him that?”

“No comment.” 

“You get all grumpy when Jack gives you dumb nicknames, and here you are calling your own flesh and blood Lil Phil.”

“I don’t get grumpy,” she pouts, recoiling her hand from his reach when he tries to lean back in for another taste of gelato. 

“You threatened to block him the other day.”

“That’s ‘cause he called me Pop-belly,” she grumbles, “That’s not funny, it’s mean.”

“Not funny at all,” Nico concurs, lips twisting in the corner as he bites back a smile, eyes gleaming as he watches Poppy sit up and face him, fully. Her eyes narrow, gaze zeroing in on where he’s trying not to laugh, again, at the horrific moniker, and her own lips twist with mirth as she shuffles, resting back on her heels, limbs half on the towel and half on the warm sand. 

“We should stick to your thing, when we’re picking a name for Cheeto,” she hums, meeting his eye as her tongue swipes against the cone, watching his eyelids grow heavier as he focuses on the movement of her lips. “4 letters, no chance of funny nicknames, no chance of people spelling it wrong on birthday cards,” she reaches out for him to get the taste he had been chasing before, and just as his lips press to the frozen substance, she adds, “You all have such pretty names, too. Like Luca.”

Poppy shouldn’t like the darkness that flashes across his eyes when his jealousy flares up, shouldn’t want to push his buttons to make it happen, but she can’t help herself - her favourite pastime all summer has been making Nico think she has a crush on his brother.

It’s so stupid, so childish but so so fun.

It had started off lighthearted enough - her first time meeting Luca, she had been a little knocked back by his presence - ruggedly handsome where she might usually have considered Nico softer, but there were definite similarities. And she wasn’t exactly attracted to him, but she had been flustered - obviously so - and it’s Nico’s own fault for making his notice of that fact so obvious - brows furrowed, his grip on her hand tightening, and a persistent urge to be present whenever Poppy hung around his brother.

She blames the fact that she misses that teasing aspect of their relationship - when their conversations were based off of sarcasm and inescapable charm - for how she continued to press his buttons over the summer. It’s hard to maintain their old snark when her hormones are all out whack, and all she wants is for him to get his clothes off and press her to the nearest surface at any given moment. He constantly has the upper hand, and she’s not exactly used to that being a part of their dynamic.

Teasing him about Luca kills two birds with one stone - she gets her fun, and she elicits that possessive part of him that he somehow locks away every time he gets eyes on her belly, that she can see him restraining in order to handle her with care.

“You’re not funny,” he huffs, swiping the melting gelato from her grip and taking an exasperated lick of the sides, not realising how adorable he looks making little swipes with his tongue when he’s trying to look annoyed.

“I’m dead serious, your brother’s a hunk.”

“Mohn,” he sighs, “I’ll dump this in the sand right now, and I know how much you want to eat this cone.”

“Fine, fine, fine,” she relents as she giggles, reaching to grasp at his arm where he’s holding it away from her, fingertips stroking teasingly to make him give in. “I don’t think your brother is hot.”

“Thank you,” he smiles, offering the gelato back to her.

“Your dad on the other hand.”

“Poppy,” he warns.

“Kidding! I’m kidding,” she laughs, shuffling forward and back between his parted legs, “You’re the only man for me, baby, I swear.”

“I better be,” he pouts, guiding her back into the space he leaves, where she had been cuddled up before, where he misses the press of her body between his thighs. “I booked a table at that Italian place you liked the other week for tonight,” he tells her, voice lowered as one hand falls to her waist, and the other reaches up to push her hair behind her ear and cup at her cheek, “And it’s under my name, so you can’t ditch me for my brother or you get no tiramisu for dessert.”

Her mouth drops at the threat, spare hand reaching up to grip at his shoulder. “I promise I’ll never love another man in my life.”

She says it with a tone so serious that he can’t help but laugh, and her lips tremble too as she watches him, rolling his eyes with affection and looking away so that he doesn’t entirely give him.

She doesn’t really think it’s much of a joke, though.

There isn’t a single person on the planet who could make her feel like this - so happy, so warm, so content. 

She might never love anyone like she loves Nico.

Except for maybe their daughter. And whatever other family he wants to give her in a few years. 

Poppy can’t quite figure out why the thought of going out for dinner alone with Nico is making her nervous.

They’re in a relationship, have been for around 3 months now, and she’s literally carrying his child, but as he stands behind her in the apartment, hands sliding torturously slow up her spine as he zips up her dress and making eye contact with her in the mirror’s reflection, she starts to feel her heart race. 

She’s trying not to be quieter than usual as they walk hand in hand in the warm summer evening air, Nico guiding her down the streets that are comfortingly familiar to him, and that are starting to feel more like home every day to her, too. 

It doesn’t help that he looks so good too, hair grown out and pushed back out of his face, a clean shave - as much as she had grumbled about that, she can’t deny how gorgeous he looks - a loose black shirt and baggy linen trousers, fancy watch clutched around his wrist.

And he makes her feel good about how she looks, too, despite flashes of insecurity hitting her over the past few weeks. Their afternoon spent between the sheets when they had returned from the beach, Nico not being able to get enough of her, and whispering sweet nothings and sexy mutterings into her skin as they finally took advantage of some much needed privacy.

He had chosen her dress for her, had strapped her slightly heeled sandals onto her feet with kisses pressed to her calves, and she thinks it’s all the attention he’s given her over the past 24 hours that has her feeling what she can only describe as high.

It’s what has her stopping him at the corner before the restaurant, seeing the perfect place to prop her phone up on a nearby wall so that she can capture the moment - the two of them looking so perfect that she wants her daughter to see, wants to print it out and tape it into her memory book to show her just how in love and happy her mommy and daddy are.

“Can we take a photo?” 

“You want me to take one of you?” He asks, stopping as she starts to adjust her camera settings on her phone, adding the timer so she can leave her phone perched at a good angle. 

“No, I want one together. So we can show Cheeto how hot her parents were.”

Nico chuckles as she places her phone on the side and pulls him to a good distance, holding her in his arms and smiling down at her as she holds back onto him - the two of them repeating a couple times with different poses before Poppy has a nice little collection of photos, and they can carry on toward the restaurant.

She swipes through and shows them to him as they walk together, and she sends them straight to him so he can have them for himself. 

“Is that hard launch material for your instagram?” He asks as she zooms in on one of them, Poppy’s arms circled around his waist, the biggest, toothiest grin on her face and her eyes scrunched shut.

“I’m gonna put them in Cheeto’s pregnancy book,” Poppy hums, not answering him directly. “Remind me to keep a card or something from the restaurant, she loves their pasta. We can come back when she’s older.”

Her nerves have increased tenfold at the mere mention of that godforsaken app.

Her instagram had never been a big deal before - private since the day she started her account, she only really ever had friends from school and work on there. She never posted in search of likes or validation, just to share little updates on her life, but she had to delete it at the start of summer once the requests to follow her started flooding in.

The first barrage had been easy to ignore, but once the zeros started adding up, and the requests went over 10,000, she figured that just getting rid of it would do her a world of good.

Anybody that needed to be updated, she could just text anyway. It wasn’t a big deal, which is why she hasn’t told Nico yet.

She doesn’t want to worry him with the fact that her whole feed had ended up on Twitter somehow anyway - that the thought of posting anything new, and it ending up shared by one of her existing followers to an intrusive gossip account freaks her out. She doesn’t have the energy to whittle down who might be leaking her stuff, so deleting the app entirely and counting the rest of her privacy as a loss had felt like the safest option.

And it’s not like she misses it.

It’s also not like she cares that much about people knowing about her and Nico - she’d scream from the rooftops about him if she could - but the lack of control scares her a little.

It’s all so invasive - seeing herself cropped out of group pictures, with threads of discourse about her, her life, her relationship with Nico and the rest of the team. Everything twisted so far out of context she starts to question her own reality. 

She had sought advice from Nina about the whole thing, and the two of them had agreed that between themselves, they could figure things out - documenting their summer just for them, without stressing Nico out about what was happening behind the scenes. And she’s grateful, at least, that she has someone like Nina in her corner - who understands what it feels like, to an extent.

Telling Nico would just make him feel guilty, or, even worse, apologise for something that isn’t his fault, and so all she can really do is avoid it altogether. 

She hardly posted on there anyway.

“We should probably figure out her name, soon, you know,” 

Poppy snaps out of her thoughts to look up at him, twisting his lips nervously as he checks on her.

“We can’t call her Cheeto forever.”

“We can. That’s her name.”

Nico chuckles as he guides are across the street with a hand on her back, the restaurant now in sight - a small, family business, not too fancy, the kind with the most delicious recipes past down generations and made to perfection.

She loves places like this - much prefers it to fancier joints - where they can sit side by side at a small table and bask in the intimacy of it all.

An older gentleman smiles warmly at the two of them when they walk in hand in hand, and guides them to a table in the outdoor section at the back, a lit candle and a single rose in the middle of the set-up, and the starry night sky twinkling above them.

She knows exactly why she’s nervous.

It’s the first date she’s been on in a long time - her first official date with Nico, period, and it takes her back to being a little younger, when she first started going on dates, first started opening up to the idea of sharing herself with anybody else. It’s daunting, even if he is already the love of her life. Even if she’s pregnant with his child, integrated into his family, and returning to Jersey in a matter of weeks to the apartment they now share.

He helps her into her seat, pulling his around from the opposite side of the table so they can sit together how she likes, his hand immediately finding where her legs cross beneath the table and stroking at her bare skin. The waiter hands the two of them menus, and Nico asks if he can bring water with ice for the table before he nods and departs, leaving them alone.

“This is really nice, baby,” she smiles, gratefully, eyes roaming over how soft his features look out in the dimmed light, chocolate irises twinkling as they reflect the flickering flame in the centre of the table. 

“Only the best for my girls,” he says lowly, and the two of them sit and smile dopily at one another and making light conversation until the waiter returns. Nico says something that Poppy hasn’t quite learned yet in his language, only just about making out the word pen before Nico takes one from the man with an appreciative thank you before he leaves again. He reaches across the table for the napkins that sit beneath their cutlery, sliding one in front of her before writing on the one in front of himself behind his other hand, hiding whatever he’s doing until he folds the paper.

“I want you to write down the name that’s on the top of your list. Then we’re gonna close our eyes and shuffle them up and pick one.”

“How do you know I have a list?” She frowns, taking the pen when he offers it over to her.

“Because you make a list for the pros and cons of what takeout we’re ordering, Poppy. Of course you have a list to name our daughter.”

She rolls her eyes, covering her napkin as she pauses with a hovered pen. 

She does have a list. And she has a definitive number one.

It hadn’t even been an option before the summer, but she’s found herself imagining the name more and more over the past few weeks. Embroidered on blankets, written into birthday cards for the boys, etched into a personalised wooden bookcase like the kind she had as a little girl.

Nico is right. She isn’t going to be Cheeto forever.

“You know,” Poppy leans back to hide her paper as she writes her name down, her legs angled toward his as his hand strokes softly again up her calf, his napkin clutched tight in his other hand. “Most people don’t pick out baby names on their first date.”

“This isn’t our first date,” he scoffs, eyes narrowing at her as she folds her own. “We’ve been on dates before.”

“Name one.” Her head tilts as she challenges him, eyes meeting his as she waits for him to come up with something. 

“All those times we grabbed dinner together back in Jersey,”

“Not dates.”

“There were several candles lit, Poppy.” Nico frowns, and Poppy’s lips twist as the crease between his eyebrows deepens as he thinks back on it. “All those times we got food before or after your scans, and movie nights at your place with takeout-,”

“Not dates. You have to specifically ask for those to have been dates, they were more like hang-outs.” She repeats, a hand reaching out to place itself on his knee, thumb rubbing against the linen of his pants, countering before he can bite back, “But that’s okay, I like this being our first. We’re making our own order.”

“What like getting pregnant before we’re in a relationship?”

“Exactly. Structure is boring. I like the idea of waking up and you deciding today’s the day to put me in your will and tomorrow’s the day to learn my middle name.”

“I thought you didn’t have a middle name.”

Poppy smiles, close-lipped and big, like she’s holding in laughter as she reaches up to caress his face. She kind of doesn’t want to burst his bubble - sweet, naive but well-intentioned Nico, who thinks he knows her like the back of his hand - but she wants to prove her point, more. “Giselle. After my Nanna Gigi.” 

“Poppy Giselle Jensen?” He asks, mouth agape as she nods. “You’re telling me I knocked you up before I even knew your full name?”

“Way to make it sound romantic,” she mocks, just as he had, earlier on the beach, tucking his hair behind his ear and shuffling a little in her seat, legs tangling even more with his under the table. “I think it’s cool that we get to learn new things about each other all the time.” 

“What have you learned about me?” His voice drops an octave, thumb stroking at her skin in an attempt to distract, but she isn’t giving in to him.

“I spent a week with your mom and sister while you were training out in Tenerife, babe, I know all your secrets from all the photo albums we went through.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yeah,” she smirks, “Little blonde baby Nico with his big, pretty brown eyes and his bowl cut. I saw everything.”

“That’s not fair,” he pouts, grasping at her ankle, “You have the upper hand.”

“You saw me with my head in a toilet bowl for like 3 months straight, I think we’re even.”

“Speaking of,” he places his folded napkin down onto the table and slides it beside hers, “Close your eyes, I’ll mix them up.”

Poppy closes her eyes, but pouts a little as she hears him shuffle the napkins around. There was no speaking of - she was talking about puking. That wasn’t necessarily speaking of their daughter. He’s just deflecting attention from his bowl cut, she thinks, but she has extensive plans for revisiting that one. Preferably with backup, when their daughter is old enough to join in.

“Alright, now I’m gonna close my eyes, and you mix them up.”

She peeks her eyes open to see his scrunched closed, and smiles to herself as she mixes the two identically folded napkins on the table, nudging him with her knee to let him know when she’s finished.

Her heart starts to pound all of a sudden when his eyes flutter open, those perfect brown eyes darting straight to hers, and she holds her breath in anticipation.

“You pick.” He tells her, sliding the two napkins toward her.

She does so without looking, unfolding it in her lap and holding it against her palm so that he can’t see.

Her lips twist as she eyes the familiar name, a sense of victory swirling in her gut until the reality of it crashes down on her, her eyebrows scrunching in confusion.

That isn’t her handwriting.

“It means ray of sunlight in Persian,” Nico tells her, peeking down at the name written in the palm of her hands, already knowing from her reaction which napkin she had chosen. “Or beautiful girl.”

“Like you know anything in Persian,” she scoffs, “It’s just your brother and sister’s names combined.”

Nico frowns, “What?” He whines in denial, a poor attempt at lying that automatically makes Poppy’s lips turn at the corners, “How would you even think of that? I’ll let you know, I did extensive research, okay, I-,”

Poppy opens the other napkin up where it sits on the surface of the table, the exact same name scrawled in the centre in her handwriting.

Lina.

Nico smiles, slow but big, cheeks dimpling and eyes crinkling, and Poppy feels those nerves in her stomach swirl into something else, entirely. Her hands start to shake and her eyes start to water as soon as his gaze meets hers, pride shining through every pore of his features.

“That’s fate, Mohn,” he breathes, leaning closer, his chair shuffling against the floor as he reaches out to caress her face softly, palms pressed at either side of her jaw. “We wrote the same name.”

“I know,” she whispers, feeling a tear slip out that he catches immediately with the pad of his thumb. 

“You wanna name her after my brother and sister?”

“I do.” She nods. Of course she does.

Not only has she seen how much they mean to Nico over the last couple of months, but they’ve started to mean as much to her, too - providing her with a sibling bond she’s never really experienced with Oli, one of unconditional love and support, admiration and affection.

She wants her daughter to embody that too.

To be a beacon of love.

A ray of sunlight.

“Lina Cheeto Hischier.”

Nico’s dimpled smile turns into laughter that erupts from the depths of his belly, and fills Poppy with elation, her body turning to jelly as he pulls her in until their lips press together, giggling against each others mouths until Nico feels the need to part, his head leaning down toward Poppy’s bump, where their daughter lays once again, butt to the front, ready to cause her mother a night of grief. 

“Don’t worry Lina-bug,” he whispers, eyes drifting up to meet Poppy’s, her heart soaring at the sweet, definitely pre-meditated nickname. “We’ll work on the middle name.”

“Maybe something Persian,” Poppy scoffs, her own neck craning to speak toward her stomach, her hand falling to stroke it at the side, “Considering your daddy’s such an expert, all of a sudden.”

“I thought you might need convincing,” he chuckles, “I promise I looked it up.”

He leans in to kiss her again.

“I love you,” she whispers against his lips, “So much.”

“I love you more.”

Next Chapter

Taglist: @alwaysclassyeagle @bunbunbl0gs @idgaf-if-youre-here @youflowerr-youfeast @thearchersstuff @bellsdi0r @wonderheartz @jjgsunflower @butterflies35 @kenziepickle @josierosie @laheyxlover @mrsmattytkachuk @dasiysthings @belladawnidk (sorry if your tag hasn't worked btw)

[minjv]

the star chapter: sanctuary - txt

initial: i don’t have particular hopes or expectations for this album. from the previous, i know it won’t be an instant love, but i’ll enjoy it. so far the songs remind me a bit of their english promos. blue hour -> thursday’s child was the perfect run for me, and no song (by literally anyone in any genre) will probably ever top “chasing that feeling,” so every project that we get from them now is just confetti to me. i love them + they’ve already given me my favorite music in the world, so i don’t have any huge expectations going into it. i know i’ll like the mini, and there will be songs that i end up loving, too. tomorrow was a huge grower for me, so i’m excited to get to know sanctuary and see where it takes me ✨

heaven: it’s sweet + dreamy. i’ve had time to get used to it bc of the shorts they’ve been releasing. the melody + instrumental remind me a lot of their english free fall tracks. it’s not the same, but it’s like a sister track to them. on second listen, she’s a v sweet opener that sets you up well for the album experience

over the moon: i like it. i think it will grow on me a lot as an easy listening song. the beginning of the chorus reminds me of “open always wins” which is complementary bc i like that song a lot. i love the post-chorus. the visuals of the mv are so pretty, especially when they’re dancing in the sanctuary. it feels too short though. it felt like it was building to a bridge that would have really tied things together and a final strong chorus, but instead it just ended. it’s good, but it definitely could be so much more if it was extended

danger: not really my sound but that’s chill. hyuka sounds really great here 🤍 there will be a time when i get really into this song

resist (not gonna run away): i like the percussion a lot. i want to see a live performance a lot.. i think this is a song meant for performances. somehow.. it reminds me of sugar rush ride. i like songs that have a desperate feeling to them. i think she’ll be v popular with moa + casuals

forty one winks: oh i forgot they had a dem jointz track until i heard the tag. it suits them to have a song like this each release. they released a fan chant for this i think? so maybe they’ll be promoting this then??

higher than heaven: ohh she’s so fun. this will be sooooo great with a live band omg. i like it so much. and we got a [hyuka?!] bridge!!!!!!! ✨🤍💫🌟 yeah she is the one for me for sure. great album ender too 🫶 maybe it will be a bit divisive but i think the people who like it will absolutely adore it + defend it with their lives. relistening and it’s just so lovely. this is such a feel good song. it’s going straight to the “songs to get me through the worst moments of my life” playlist 🥰 also rocketing to the top slots of the bsides of 2024 🌟

overall

i think it’s the use of falsetto + autotone effect that reminds me of their english releases. it pops up both their + here a lot

i wish the songs were longer + we had more bridges. it’s not a them issue (somewhat a hybe issue 😔), but an overall issue with kpop release rn.

my feelings will change a lot as i listen more. it’s not my thing on first listen, but i do like it. it took a minute for me to really enjoy tomorrow, and i outright hated temptation (outside of farewell, neverland) for months, so i’m not concerned.

sonically + thematically it seems v cohesive. i <3 concept albums

standout tracks are “resist (not gonna run away)” and “higher than heaven.” i really like “higher than heaven”, though. many, many things there that align well with my taste

currently on fifth(?) listen of “over the moon” and she is definitely growing on me. she won’t be one of my favorite TTs, but i get her.

overall the mini is really fun. it’s a different concept than i expected from the teasers, but ig the lover version aligns the best with the overarching theme of the album. it’s a p different sound from their other releases, while still feeling v them. you can definitely see glimpses of previous releases in each song. it really is a happy release.

i think tomorrow -> sanctuary is so upbeat and hopeful. there’s a lot of optimism looking toward the future and while these might not be my favorite minis from them, they absolutely are what i need right now, so i’m thankful + happy for them too ^-^ i’ve followed txt musically since 2021, but this is only my second cb actually following them as a group and experiencing mvs and stages and knowing the members. they really do inspire so much thankfulness within me, which is something i’ve been missing lately. i do honestly feel v lucky to be a fan of them 🩵

[gaybd1]

I’ve lost control of my life it is now 2:30am

(Chris watches Twilight Eclipse for the first time)

Okay fuck it it’s 12:30 am let’s start the annoying love triangle one (I’m guessing)

All I know about anything for the rest of the franchise is bella and Edward will be married and she’ll become a vampire either before or after that and also they will have a creepy baby but I think all that happens in the last book so NO guesses for this movie

At least the budget and therefore quality seem to be getting bigger/better each time

Another cheesy quote from Bella to open us out aight

Like idk she’s a student and I feel like students shouldn’t gotta worry about this marriage shit? Not in high school

It should be illegal to get married before 25 when your brain finishes developing btw

They’re both gonna be so annoying aren’t they, her with wanting to turn and him with wanting to get married, just kill me now

Anyway are they gonna finally resolve that one crazy lady vampire issue from the first movie bc that was really such a tiny problem to drag our

So is it jacob or jake what does he prefer

The music is a little better (so far) at least

Oh fuck not Edward controlling Bella’s movements and friendships GET AWAY FROM HIM BELLA

I get that Charlie has beef w Edward like girl same but also I feel bad for Edward lol

Mom sees that Edward is creepy too

Bella’s lying out in the sun but still just as pale okay

So jealous of T-shirt quilts

Dramatic ass vampire family nothing ever changes

Just get rid of this red hair chick so we can move onto the Vampiric Council villain plot

Teamwork!

More annoyed about Edward wanting to save Bella’s soul now that I know it’s Mormon propaganda tbhhhh

The thing w the Jacob v Edward drama that I never understood all those years ago is that they’re BOTH bad people!!

I still say they’d make a killer polycule

But I do love the “Edward is my boyfriend, Jacob is my best friend, and they’re jealous of each other”

Loving the lady werewolf

But how many are there now it seems like Too Much

Oh imprinting got it cool

WAIT I SWEAR I saw somewhere that Jacob ends up imprinting on Bella and Edwards daughter?????

Anyway at least lautner is kinda losing the accent at this point. Makes him less annoying

Unresolved Victoria plot, unresolved volturi plot, and now someone new???

Cross-species teamwork to help protect Bella how cute

Loving the historical flashbacks actually, I’d love a movie on the lore

WAIT FUCK jasper is SOKKA in that awful shyamalan avatar movie I’m sndkldjdsjkslskshdhdjdkd

JACOB why would you kiss her she just said she doesn’t love you I hate every man in this franchise

Clueless Charlie is pretty great

Rosalie has been nothing but spout straight up facts this entire franchise so far

Wow what a terribly tragic backstory though damn

So amused that they keep talking about defeating newborns lolol

Why would jasper know more about them than anyone else? They’ve all been newborns at some point? Is it bc he’s the most recently turned?

Oh good, explanation

Oh NOW he has an accent? lmao

Since when does he control emotions, have we seen that yet??

Ugh Jacob just DROP IT

Hahaha the father-daughter talks are so good

Listening to Debussy in preparation for seeing depussy nice

Oh DAMN he cockblocked himself. The damn Mormon influence again

It DOES make sense with the era he’s from etc etc

I just know the fangirlies were going crazy in the theatre w this whole sequence

oh NOW she says yes okayyyy

Okay seriously why is Jacob allergic to shirts

Cuddle for warmth. Classic fanfic trope oh all THREE of them should cuddle

“I am hotter than you” wow the fan girls are losing their minds

Anyway like we all know I stan rpats but he IS a goofy looking guy and I am constantly surprised he got cast for this role

Jacob doesn’t know how not to be a creep Jesus

Nice convo Jacob and Edward now kiss

But anyway that was actually super boring

Are they not even gonna SHOW the battle lmao

This movie feels super long am I wrong?

This fake ass snow

He’s literally making her say she loves him grossssss

What is any of this for like she’s less than 30 minutes of screen time away from marrying Edward right?? What was the ENTIRE point of that Jacob kiss

I actually do like how chill Edward was about it though lol

That is NOT Bryce Dallas Howard why doesn’t it look like her

What’s with the metallic clanking sounds when they die

This would be a great time for bella to get hurt and have to be turned, just saying

Oh DAMN did Bella use the trick from the werewolf story nice

Lol I had no idea vampires were so flammable

No idea what just happened to Jacob tbh like he doesn’t LOOK hurt

Why did they have to kill the girl jesus

The second movie was a gay allegory but this one is a trans allegory for sure

ok so yeah that’s another one done I guess lol

[aqpippin]

hiya pippin<3 how are ya?? ready for some questions, love? how many different fan communities/fandoms have you been in? how active are you in them? what was/is your favorite one to be a part of? do you say you spend a lot of time in fandom spaces, or is it something that you do occasionally as an escape?

hi sweets!!

I feel like rpdr is really the only fandom I’ve really been involved in and it’s by far my fave!! I’ve written fics for fandoms (1D/5sos circa 2012-16 on ye olde wattpad) but I was never really involved in the communities per se!!

and even then, I really only watch the english speaking seasons ((I’ve been wanting to watch other international seasons but I get v overwhelmed reading english subtitles when english isn’t being spoken unfortunately)) — so I’m really at peak involvement when like us/du/uk/ca are airing ✨ I really feel like I’ve kinda dropped away from being so active on tumblr especially bc I wasn’t writing so now I just kinda pop in every now and again, cause a little bit of chaos, then fuck off again 🤭 but I love coming on here and seeing what everyone’s posting and catching myself up, I really do love it here 🥹🫶🏼

[helliontherapscallion]

Hello! Um hopefully this is ok but can you do a platonic poly relationship with tech reader and philza? And one day the reader comes over to there abode with a basket full of sweets and pastries (muffins bread ect-) also cottagecore quiet reader please she/they pronouns

Thank you! :D

(A/N): I’m back yall! Sorry I’ve been gone (in terms of writing/request doing) for so long, I just kinda lost motivation to write for a bit

Ok so you’re childhood best friends with Technoblade

You two met when you accidentally bumped into each other in the village by the sbi fam’s house

You were calmly along the cobblestone path when a cute dress in a store window caught your eye. You kept walking, but you were eyeing the dress as you walked by it. It was just your aesthetic: a vintage ruby red dress with laces tying the two sides together, a floused opening to the bottom of the dress, and puffy white sleeves. It looked like it was in your size too. It was absolutely perfect.

Just as you were about to walk into the store to check out the price, you bumped into someone and fell to the ground behind you. Looking up, you saw that the person that you bumped into was also on the ground looking at you. You saw that the boy was about your age with fair skin and long pastel pink hair tied into a messy ponytail. Peculiarly, he had small tusks poking out from his bottom lip, floppy pig ears on the top of his head, and crimson eyes. A piglin hybrid perhaps?

Feeling a small blush work it’s way onto your face, you quickly got up and held out a hand to the boy. “I am so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going! Are you okay? Here, let me help you up.” 

He looked at your hand for a bit before he grabbed it with his own and allowed you to haul him up to his feet. You looked him up and down scanning him for any injuries he might’ve gotten from the fall. Luckily, it didn’t look like he got hurt. The boy looked down at his feet and bent over to pick up the picnic basket and the few muffins that dropped out of it. Putting the muffins back in, he handed the basket back to you with a small smile and a blush of his own.

“It’s really no problem, I’m fine so it’s no harm done. Actually,” he chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck, “I wasn’t looking where I was going either. I got distracted by that sword in the window.” He pointed with a thumb over his shoulder at the armory shop next to the dress shop. In the window was a shining golden sword glimmering in the bright sunlight. If you squinted, you could see a sign that said that it had a high level fire aspect and looting enchantments. 

“Well, it looks really pretty. I don’t know much about swords, so maybe you could tell me about them? I’m (y/n),” you gave him a small smile and stuck out your hand once more. He shook it with a grin, “Technoblade.”

That was the start of a beautiful friendship with him and his family

You met Philza, his father

The avian was extremely excited and happy that his quietest son finally made a new friend

He treated you like you were his own daughter

You might as well be a part of the family with how much you came over to babysit Tommy or to just relax with Techno

You always bring over a basket of baked treats/pastries whenever you came over

Lemme just say, the family feasted and always fought over the last one

When you started to come over at least once a day for a bit with a basket full of sweets, Philza had to pull you aside and ask you to slow down a bit with the treats

“Hey (y/n) could I actually talk to you for a second?”

“Sure! Tech, I’ll be out in a sec.” The piglin hybrid curtly nodded and walked out the back door to the backyard. You smiled at Philza before you set the basket down onto the table and started to put the rolls onto a plate.

“I know it’s not much today, I didn’t have much time yesterday to bake.”

“That’s fine, but it’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh?” Internally, you began to panic slightly. Oh Ender, you didn’t do anything bad did you? You couldn’t think of anything you did wrong. In fact, you actively avoided any wrongdoing or talking to strangers. Oh no, were you accidentally rude to someone?

“You aren’t in trouble,” he smiled lightly when he saw you slump in relief, “I was just wondering why you always bring over baked things. Don’t get me wrong, they’re delicious and we really appreciate that you take the time to make us things, but we kinda have a little too much. Maybe slow down a bit with bringing them over?”

You felt an embarrassed blush spread across your face as you nodded and put all your focus into transferring the bread rolls over to the plate. “Sorry Phil, I just bake whenever I’m stressed or bored and I just have a lot left over after I give some to my family.”

“And that’s completely valid! Just maybe don’t bring over so much, breaking up the fights with Tommy, Wil, and Tech just gets a bit much at times,” he grinned and clapped a hand over your shoulder.

As the years passed, you and Techno only grew closer

You taught Techno how to do meticulous neat braids in his hair while in turn he taught you some self defense

Mans makes sure you can properly and efficiently wield a sword and shoot a bow and arrow 

Poor guy can’t lose another friend

When he moves to the tundra, he invites you to live with him but you reluctantly refuse

You had Tommy and Wilbur to look after in L’manberg

Being pissed at Schlatt when he exiles them

Following them into exile leaving behind shocked Manbergians 

They didn’t think you were capable of the screaming, let alone such profanity

Practically launching yourself at Techno when he agrees to helping Pogtopia

Him making sure that the withers don’t harm you, even going as far as hitting them and luring them away from you

Staying with Techno after L’manberg is reinstated under Tubbo’s rule

Starting to dislike leadership and governments in general after Tommy gets exiled (again)

Convincing Technoblade to let Tommy stay with you two

Absolutely hating governments when the Butcher Army places Philza under house arrest and rolls up to your guys’ house and takes Techno and Carl

They lock you in the house, but you pick the lock with the bobby pin you kept the bandana pinned to your hair with 

You follow them to L’manberg and break down when you see the anvils crashing down onto Techno

Screaming profanities at the Butcher Army and taking out your sword to attack them not noticing when Techno runs away safely

Philza watching everything from the balcony and cheering you on

You almost take away one of Fundy’s (whom you considered to be your nephew until the whole Butcher Army incident) lives before you feel a sword slice your arm and an arrow shooting its way through your thigh

Turning, you gave Tubbo and Ranboo the fiercest glare you could as you were standing over a half-dead Fundy with a sword dripping blood hanging at your side

You, the soft spoken and sweet one that gave everybody baked goods wherever you went, screaming profanities at the festival and the execution was scary enough, but this?

Absolute nightmare fuel, gonna stick in their minds for a long time

You attempt to fight them but you lose and end up with injuries too severe for you to continue fighting

Philza being the one to yell at you to go home to the tundra telling you that Techno’s alive bc of a totem of undying 

You felt kinda stupid after that, Technoblade never dies (you often half joked that he was immortal like Philza)

You limp home and get met with a bone crushing uncharacteristic hug from Techno

He patches you up after reassuring you that the blood on him wasn’t his (he tells you about the duel in great detail)

In turn you tell him about your 3 v 1 duel, feeling a bit dejected bc you ended up losing

Him being literally so proud of you for facing 3 people at once, but also scolding you slightly for going into it blindly

When Philza moves in, everything feels complete and fulfilled (at least to you)

You help Philza clean and dress his damaged wing

Also helping him do some physical therapy so that he could at least move it

Comforting him whenever he felt down about not being able to fly again

You invite him and Techno to cook with you and it surprisingly ends up better than you expected it to be

When Tommy betrays Techno, you and Philza end up being the only ones he could fully trust (later slowly adding Niki and Ranboo to the mix when The Syndicate is formed)

You are Harpocrates when The Syndicate is formed due to your quiet nature

Philza and Techno fully 100% supporting your decision of not wanting to reveal your identity

At the second meeting you show up with a full mask covering your face and the opposite of what you normally wore (more of a grunge type beat)

Only communicating in nods and writing at meetings, living up to your nickname

You never reveal your identity to Niki or Ranboo

Pleasant late night conversations around the fire with hot chocolate and your baked goods

Techno still lets you braid his hair (sometimes you even put flowers in it) from time to time

You braid Philza’s hair when it gets too long

Braid chains when yall get too bored? Hell yeah 

Ultimately, you three become a strong family unit (goals)

General taglist (comment if you want to be added):

@crybabyjabby  @izzybobizzy13  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @bunnyz-pxstel  @averytiredfanfictionwriter  @dcml04  @sparkling-gayyyy  @bbigbbrainn  @thaticecreambish  @kiinokochii  @satansphatass  @bxkubitch  @bxmentchildxx  @roxy3457  @montygator17  @feverish-dove  @the-fictionwriters-hairdo  @jichuuchaeng  @404rynnotfound  @luluwinchester  @laura--444  @the-cult-classic-bitch  @youngstarfishdinosaur

[heliotropehotch]

Silver - a.h. x fem!reader

Request by @moonstuffsteve :If you’re taking requests, I’d love Hotch smut with a wedding ring kink where the cold metal gets you more worked up (maybe ft choking bc of the ring??) pls and thanks so much!!!!!!!!

a/n: AHHHH its my first smut for Aaron! (and first smut i've actually finished in years!) Al, i love you. Thank you for this. If you have any suggestions on how I can improve my writing please let me know! I haven't written smut in a long time so I know this might be rocky. <3

CW: smut, under 18 DNI, 18+, jealously, unwanted ass grabbing, wanted ass grabbing, choking, wedding ring kink?????, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), rough sex, marriage kink??, dom/sub themes, possessiveness, fingering

Masterlist

author: abby<3

word count: 1919

have fun!

She hated cops. Entitled, jealous, and, for the most part, disgusting men, who thought well enough should be left alone. Meaning that, while help had been offered and given, it wasn’t wanted. What was wanted, however, seemed to deviate way too far off the course of the case, of the literal murders that were happening.

“Officer Walker,” Y/N’s teeth gritted out as sweetly as she could, as the man placed an unwelcome palm on the small of her back. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“Well, sugar,” he chuckled deeply. “I was hoping you wanted to get out of here.”

“Out of here?” She pretended not to notice Agent Hotchner watching the interaction, slowing walking up behind him. “What do you mean, Officer?”

“I mean,” his hand swooped down, resting gently on her ass. Y/N’s eyes shot wide, mouth opening slightly with appall. “We should get out of here so we can have a little fun.”

“Excuse me-”

“Officer Walker,” Aaron Hotchner’s voice cut through the air of the precinct. “I suggest you take your hand off of my agent, and my wife.”

Walker’s hand shot off her body, smacking into his own side. “Your wife? Sir, I didn’t kn-”

“We have a case, Officer. There are people out there getting murdered. Get back to work. Agent, you’re needed in the conference room, please.”

“Yes sir,” Y/N said with a straight face, but she knew her husband could read the smugness on her face.

“In the future, Officer Walker,” she called out before following Aaron. “At least check a woman’s hand before you make unwanted passes at them.”

Y/N sauntered almost cheerfully behind her husband stalking into the closed conference room. She could hear the gears turning forcefully in his head, and could clearly see his hand clenching and relaxing at his side. Entering the conference room, tension seeping into the air, confining itself in the room as Aaron forcefully shut the door behind them.

“Aaron-”

“I know, I know,” he sighed, fingers smoothing out his eyebrows. “I was fine until his moved his fucking hand-”

She reached out to grab his arms, trailing down to intertwine their fingers together. “Honey,” she smiled sweetly. “I know, okay. I appreciate it, okay. But I had it handled too.”

“I should have him fired-”

“But you won’t,” she laughed softly. “If you fired every man who made a pass at me, we wouldn’t ever work with cops again.”

He grumbled indignantly, scrunching his eyes together in irritation. Y/N slipped her hands up his chest, sliding into their natural place at his jaw. Her lips pressed to his, seeping tension seeping out of him with every passing second. “Aaron,” she hummed against his lips, before pulling away. She smiled as his chased after. “I married you, remember? You don’t ever have to worry about anyone else. Like ever?”

He chuckled, slipping his hands into the pockets of her pants. “I just don’t like sharing what’s mine.”

“I’m only yours.” She smiled at him, taking a step back. “Now can we get back to work? I wanna go home with you as soon as possible.”

--

The case was nowhere near close to being solved, but tensions between all members of the BAU were running high. Derek, the ever hot head he was, had almost gotten into a physical fight with the Captain of the precinct, while Spencer had remained silent after a particularly loud conversation with one of the fellow officers.

“These cops just won’t let us do our jobs, Hotch,” Emily had groaned in the hotel elevator with Y/N and Aaron. “I’m two derogatory comments away from breaking Walker’s nose.”

Y/N snorted, eying her husband’s now tense back in front of her. “He’s a real piece of work huh?”

“I’ll be too glad when we get out of here. Why can’t we work with female cops for a change?”

It was Hotch’s turn to snort. “You would end up being the one that they complained about. You’re just as bad as Morgan.”

Emily gave an artificial gasp. “Am not.”

The elevator doors opened, and Y/N followed her husband out and down the hall to the left. “Night Em!”

Out of sight of the rest of their team, she jogged forward to grab his hand, giving a small kiss to his knuckles. A comfortable silence had settled between the heavy setted footsteps of the married couple. Y/N rocked on her heels as her husband fumbled with the key card to their shared room. She rolled her neck, letting the tension fizzle out in separated pops of her bones. She barely registered the click of the door, or the wrap of fingers around her wrist. She did however, notice the cool, fake wood of the hotel door being pressed against her back. “Aaron?”

“You’re mine,” he murmured, pressing his lips in the angle of her neck. She chuckled, winding her fingers in his hair.

“I thought we already clarified that, baby.”

He hummed a chuckle, his tongue lapping up whatever remnants of perfume traced his neck. “And I intend to make that painfully obvious to everyone in that precinct.”

His lips wrapped around the muscles at the junction of her neck, drawing out a moan out of her with passing second that the air left his mouth. Y/N hummed a laugh, lifting her hips to grind against his. “Seriously, a hickey?”

His hand snaked up her waist to rest under her chin, squeezing slightly. She could feel the metal of his wedding band warm to the temperature of her skin. “I’ve got a point to prove, sweetheart.”

His fingers left her throat and reached down to pull the backs of her thighs to wrap around his waist, grunting slightly at the movement. She worked on unbuttoning her shirt, the best she could. “Aar-” their bodies fell to the bed, his legs slotted between hers. Y/N squeezed his left hand that had found its way into hers. “You’ve got me wrapped around your finger, remember?”

“Oh I remember, darling,” his mouth moved to her breasts, taking a nipple into his mouth, sucking gently before letting it free. “I think you’re the one who needs a reminder.”

Aaron’s hands pushed up her skirt, adjusting it to pool at her hips. His calloused hands traced the edge of her underwear, sliding softly under the band. His mouth, trailing back up to her neck smirked as Y/N’s hips squirmed under his delicate touch. “Be patient, love.”

His attached his mouth to hers as his fingers slowly, finally began circling her clit. The metal of his ring brushing deliciously against the skin above. His teeth tugged her bottom lips, a small whine escaping her. He watched her blissed out expression morph into one of need, eyes scrunched with tension. His fingers dipped lower, circling her entrance before dipping two fingers in slowly.

“Aaron,” she gasped out, clenching around the fingers inside of her. “Aaron, please.”

“Shh, sweetheart,” he smiled into her neck, pressing his lips to her skin. “I’m gonna take good care of my wife, don’t you worry.”

His thumb, that had been rolling lazy circles against her clit, becomes more firm, with more intention. Y/N could feel the cold of her husband’s silver band pressing into her pussy as he pressed a third finger into her. The stretch of his hand, the way he stroked her walls with his fingers, and the words dripping from his lips were enough to put her body on edge.

“Oh you’re so tight, baby,” he chuckled darkly, breath blowing sweetly against her inner thighs. “Fuck, you’re wet. Is this all for me?”

Her fingers wrapped lazily between his black locks, tugging the strands. “Only you.”

“Of course, honey,” he cooed. “Look at you dripping all over my ring, I bet you’re gonna come soon, yeah?”

“Please,” Y/N whined loudly. “Please, Aaron, I can’t hold it anymore.”

“Come for me, baby, get nice and ready for my cock.” She let out a yelp, her back arching from the mattress as her husband continued to lazily stroke her cunt.

“That’s my girl,” he hummed, bringing his fingers up to his mouth for a taste, before pausing and redirecting his fingers to her mouth. Her eyes stayed on him and she hummed around his fingers, tongue lapping at her own juices around his wedding ring.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he groaned, tugging off his own shirt, and ridding his pants and underwear. Y/N’s panties now rested at her knees, twisting over on itself, until she lazily ridded the rest of her garments.

Aaron now positioned her on her knees, head resting on her forearms as her ass ground into his pelvis. “Please, baby, wanna feel you,” her muffled voice called out.

He sucked his teeth with mock annoyance, lightly smacking one of her cheeks with his left hand. “And what did I say about being patient?” he chided, before lining his dick up and thrusting in.

Her toes curled at the sudden, but welcome intrusion. A groan left her throat as he began pounding into her pussy at a rough pace. Thrust for thrust, the room echoes with grunts and moans from both Y/N and her husband. She could almost feel his smug grin with every whine that fell through her lips.

“Fuck, Y/N look at you taking my cock so well. I bet you just love how I fill you up.” Her only responses were loud moans that flowed through his own voice as she clenched around him.

The metal of his wedding ring now almost burned against her sweating skin as he wrapped his hand around her throat once more, pulling her body to be flush against him as he continued to thrust into her at a bruising pace.

“Who’s making you feel this good, huh?” She stayed wordless, only echoing in whines and moans. He squeezed her neck a little tighter, the imprint of the ring creating a delicious friction. “Answer me.”

“You!” her voice bursted out. “You, Aaron, only you.”

“That’s right, sweetheart, your husband. I married you, I put that ring on your finger-” he groaned, attaching his lips to the juncture of her neck before speaking again. “Fuck, are you gonna come for me soon?”

“Yes!” she cried, “Please, please.”

“Go ahead, and come for me like a good girl,” he panted, using his other hand to rub against her clit, squeezing his fingers again on her throat before speaking right into her ear. “Come on your husband’s cock.”

She yelled with her release, back arching to meet Aaron’s chest. He let out a few more strong thrusts before he found his own release and coated her walls with a groan. His forehead landed on her shoulder, her fingers lazily combing through his hair.

Eventually, he pulled himself out to clean themselves up and crawl into bed. She had rested on his side, but yelped when he pulled her to lay on his chest. She smiled softly, fingers tracing imaginary shapes along his pecs, then started chuckling softly.

He cracked a smile reserved only for her. “What are you up to?”

Her giggles quieted and she stopped her movements. “Oh, I was just thinking. I should make you jealous more often.”

He groaned, tugging her close to him, covering her ringed hand with his own. “Don’t you dare.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead as she chuckled sweetly. “You’re mine.”

[kashimos-hajime]

interlude | l.a.

summary: levi pulls you away from some rich-ass party for far more interesting activities. you’re just too goddamn pretty for him.

WARNINGS: smut!!! (18+), handjobs, oral (m-receiving), sub!levi, big pouty boy, ok hes just like really sexually pent up and this is how hes going through it, hints of jealousy, teasing, swearing, closet sex, established relationship, but also fluff :), levi is a bratty mf pairing: levi ackerman x survey corps fem!reader word count: 2.3k

a/n: written just bc i felt like it! enjoy my subby needy take on levi in honour of levi coming back all sexy this coming sunday ndklsnf LMAO enjoy!!

crossposted on ao3 x

His fingers are insistent, wrapped tight around your wrist as he pulls you through the empty corridors of the Mitras palace, and you glance back at the party they’ve left abruptly. Erwin will surely be missing their absence, even in the crowd of superiors he’s surrounded by and you frown. Jerking your long Scout jacket tighter across yourself, you glance out at the sunset painting the sky a rusty orange, before glancing back at the Captain, mouth dropping open in protest.

“Levi, what—”

With a sharp tug, you’re pulled into darkness, out of nowhere, and you let out a yelp before hands find your waist and desperate, seeking lips press tightly against your own. A small, strong body is flush against yours as the door clicks shut under your back, and you sag into hands that are flat against the wood underneath your shoulders as your arms drape over a sloping frame, eyebrows furrowing, returning the kiss just as fiercely.

A needy sound pries out of Levi’s mouth as he bites on your lower lip before moving away, leaving open-mouthed kisses down your jaw, across your chin, down your neck and your head tilts back, your breath coming out in punched gasps as his hips jerk against your own.

“L-Levi?” His name comes out choked and his head pulls back. In the darkness, you can’t even make out the blueness of his eyes but you know they burn you—you can feel them on your mouth all the same. And then, his head tilts forward, brow against your collarbones and your hand lifts from his shoulders, finding the knob and twisting the lock with a quick flip of your fingers. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he grumbles. “I just needed to feel you.”

“Here?” you prompt as his ragged breaths push against your shirt. Your other hand rakes lazily through his hair and he arches into you, nails scraping into the wooden door as your fingers scratch at his scalp. “What—”

“You’re pretty. Too pretty,” he grits out. “Stop it.”

Unamused: “Stop being pretty?”

“Stop teasing me.”

A delighted current runs through your heart at his order and you smirk. Now that your heart is racing, and you’re all alone in a tight room with just him, you can smell his intent all over him, radiating like a frustrated animal. 

Leaning down until your lips brush the shell of his ear, you feel his shiver as you whisper gently, “I’m not doing anything, sweetheart.”

“F-fuck—“ His voice comes out shaking, and he hunches over, jaw clenched. “Never see you like this. All political, charming the brass. It shouldn’t work. Nothing should work.” Your hand falls away from his hair and you run your hands down his tense, lithe body, smiling to yourself as he continues to grumble, “But every single fucking time, you just have to be there. Smiling sunshine piece of shit—”

“You talk too much, Captain,” you whisper, your fingers finding his belt buckle of his own formal jacket and pulling it undone easily. The jacket falls in a pile around his legs and feet shift against stone as you continue onto the buckle of his pants, tugging his tucked shirt free. “You’re wound up.”

“You knew what you were doing,” he continues accusingly, his head still against your chest bone and you smile, craning your neck to kiss the side of his head. He lets out a growl.

“You just thought the premiere’s son looked at me funny.”

“He did.”

“Tch, Levi,” you sing, slowly unwinding leather from loops, “green has always been a pretty colour on you. If this whole act continues, I might just lead him on to see what gets a rile out of you.”

He scoffs, hard and hot against your collarbone. “Manipulator.“

“Bastard,” you quip, grinning. “We match.” Fingers curling over the waistband of his pants, you push them down before cupping his head and lifting a soft face towards your own. “Hey, there.”

You feel the flush searing his cheeks, and you know without the light that his eyes are blown out and hazy, lip caught between teeth as he tries to restrain the wanton desire burning through his system. You understand. It’s exactly the same way you feel whenever you’re remotely in the same room as him and there isn’t enough space to contain their impulses without everything exploding.

Tilting his chin, you kiss him softly, warmly, gently, and his fingers find your wrists, wrapping around them insistently, tight enough to bruise. You smile when his nose nudges against your cheek, lips still seeking more. Indulging him for only half a second, you tilt his head up, feeling his mouth fall open as nails dig into your wrists, a warning and an ask.

Drawing back just enough to breathe but not enough that their lips ever part, your words push into his mouth in a heady sigh.

“We have to be quiet, alright, Captain?” You smile crookedly as he nods, the fringe of his hair brushing along the line of your nose and fluttering over your eyelids. “Good. Now, relax…” Sinking to your knees, your hands find lean, burning thighs and you huff to yourself, trailing a finger up to the apex of his leg and you find the knob of his hip bones before anything.

You know exactly what’s staring at you in the face. You just refuse to acknowledge it.

Travelling inward, you trace his V-line until the heat of his blood is so hot it’s near unbearable and when your hand merely brushes against his cock, his body collapses forward, hips jutting with a sharp, tight groan. Above you, you hear an elbow collide with the door and by the way he doesn’t move back, you know he’s leaning heavily on his arms.

Fingers delicately finding the base, your digits dance up his length, smirking at the tiny noises you pry out of him with your teasing, and a hand shoots down to your head but he still doesn’t move you as your thumb presses against the tip, finding precum already leaking down his cock.

“I’ve barely touched you,” you note, wrapping your fingers around him and rubbing your thumb all over the head. A short, choked noise rips out of Levi and you smile, reaching blindly for his other clothes and stuffing them under your knees. Leaning in close, your breath puffs against your hand and him as you slowly let go. “How long have you been hiding this?”

“You wouldn’t believe it,” he replies dryly through gritted teeth and you chuckle, spitting into your palm. It drips down your fingers and you grab Levi’s thigh with your clean hand before shifting yourself closer. “God, if you’re not going to—“

Whatever the rest of his sentence was going to be fades away when you wrap a hand around his cock and slide it down to his base, excruciatingly slow. His hips jerk forward, sending his dick the rest of the way through the tight fist you have on him and you laugh, kissing the tip teasingly.

“What? Does that feel good or something?”

“You fucking know—ngh—fuck, yes.” His hand tightens in your hair as you pump your hand, grip tight yet not enough. Your thumb runs along the underside, rubbing over the weeping slit before tracing back down again and the rest of your fingers squeeze, teasing the shit out of him, smearing precum all over his dick.

Your hand on his thigh reaches up, sneaking underneath his shirt to hook on his hip bone and you spread your fingers, feeling the tightness in his abdomen as you continue to jerk him off, kissing the tip with a silly grin every few seconds.

Your name comes out stuttered, torn from Levi’s throat, and you don’t have to remind him to be quiet because those sinful noises he’s so desperately trying to chain back only serve to inspire you, to slow you down, speed you up, tease him until his grip on you is blistering.

It’s funny. Captain Levi Ackerman of the Scouts, Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, and he’s malleable when you put a hand on his cock and a mouth at the tip.

Captain Levi Ackerman, and he’s moaning your name.

It’s a thought that makes you smirk as you squeeze the head, your thumb rubbing teasingly over the slit again and his hips jerk forward so violently you think he might lose his footing but he doesn’t. 

Captain Levi never slips.

He does, however, have a mouth on him. Something you intend to make full use of.

“Fuck you,” he spits.

“Later,” you promise. “For now…” His abdomen clenches at your words and you smile, tilting your chin to kiss the underside of his cock and resuming the leisurely place of your strokes. His groans bounce off the walls, sharp gasps, raw noises that make your thighs clench together as you lean to kiss his hip bone, around his base, all the while fucking him into delirium with just a single hand.

You try to guess how long he’ll last. Another part of you wonders if anyone’s made the connection between your disappearance and the Captain’s. 

That thought, that idea, that some noble with a stick up their ass could have a remote idea what you’re doing with the esteemed Captain, sends a wicked flare through you. Your wrist twists, squeezing nearly painfully hard and Levi’s hips roll forward, a guttural moan spilling out of his mouth.

“Shit. Shit, don’t stop,” he whispers. “Harder. H-harder—”

“Harder?” you echo innocently, your fingers tightening and you feel his abdomen go rigid underneath your fingers even more if possible. “Harder, Captain?”

“Ngh—fuck. Harder.” His voice is a broken rasp as you speed up and his breath quickens. Wrist burning, you pump him through your fist and you feel it the moment he reaches the precipice. The way his cock twitches, the way his voice pitches just enough that you know he’s about to lose it, and you shift on your aching knees as your hand trails down his hips again, finds the back of his thigh, and you feel his leg quivering. “I’m close. Close—shit, I’m— you— Where? Just—just tell me where.”

“Don’t worry, Levi. Just let go for me, love,” you whisper, so quietly, you’re not even sure he can hear you before you take him into your mouth and it’s only one more thrust against your tongue curling against the underside of his dick before he’s cumming into you, a fist slamming against the door above you. Jaw opening up wider, you take him in deeper, hands grabbing at his legs and tugging him closer as his fingers on your head hold him up and hold you still.

The broken litanies of your name are the only sound, only breathed through his ragged gasps and you breathe in deeply through your nose, swallowing him deeper into your throat as he thrusts forward, the waves still crashing over him. You don’t mind, using your tongue to coax the last few threads of pleasure through his body and sucking him off.

It’s only when the hand on your head relaxes does he finally pull out of your mouth and a strand of spit and cum links your lips to his dick, only broken when he falls to his knees in front of you. His bare knees against your clothed ones, you only have to hold out your arms before an exhausted body is pressed against your own, a head nuzzled into the curve of your neck while you trace the curve of his spine, your hands sneaking under his shirt to explore a muscled back.

“Levi,” you hum, amused, and your only reply is the shift of his head against you, the way his breaths puff against your jaw, and your hunger only grows at the idea of his fucked out face, the blush no doubt flooding his cheeks with red, his eyes—eyes that can’t focus on anything. Hazy, blurry, blissed. “Levi, sweetheart.”

“F-fuck you,” you hear his coarse mumble, and you smile, lifting a hand to thread fingers through his hair before tilting your head and slotting your mouth against his. The edge of his jaw pokes against the fleshy part of your thumb, and he grabs the back of your neck, deepening the kiss immediately. Tongue dipping into your mouth, you wonder if he tastes you just as much as you can taste him still. Sighing, your body melts against him and your stomach cramps when he pulls back, thumb rubbing roughly at your chin. “You’re going to pay for that.”

“You’re the one who dragged me in here,” you point out. “But if you want me to pay, Captain, I’ll do anything to make it up to you.”

“Don’t give me any ideas.” He pulls back, and you hold back another smile, looking down at the floor as he grabs his pants haphazardly, the belt clinking against stone. Lifting your knees and sitting back, you pick up his formal jacket, flapping the wrinkles out as best as you can while he buckles back up, but it’s no use.

In the light, it’s going to be a mess of creases and implications.

“I think we have to go home early,” you tell him, looking where you think his face is. He looms over you now that he’s standing and you’re crashed against the door, and you hand him the jacket which he takes but doesn’t pull out of your grasp. Fingers brushing along your knuckles, he leans down and places a gentle kiss against your brow. “Sorry.”

“Oh, I’ll accept your apology,” he murmurs, tilting his head to whisper his soft lips over your temple. A delighted shiver shoots down your spine and as he trails a finger down your cheek, over your swollen, used lips, you hear his deadly smirk laced with promise in his tone. “If you can’t tell, I’m positively devastated.”

[seriouslysnape]

Hi i would like to request severus x reader where its their first time together and reader guides sev bc he‘s a virgin ?

Okay, so I’ve been putting this one off. It’s such a good idea, I wasn’t sure how to tackle it. However, I’ve been thinking on it for a few days, and I think I did this request justice!

__

A Fast Learner

Severus Snape x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Smut.

Word Count: 3,066

“Shh. It’s okay.”

__

He had become very self conscious about it over the years. Well, he was self conscious about a lot of things, but especially something like this. It was embarrassing that he had made it this far in life and had never been intimate with someone. He knew it was mainly his own fault. He had spent his life saving himself for someone who wasn’t even around anymore, and someone who never loved him the way he did her. 

Now, he was well into his adulthood years and he had yet to have sex with anyone. He had quite honestly accepted long ago that he’d never allow anyone to take his virginity. To most people, a person at his age with their so-called “v-card” still intact was odd and even a bit weird. Even if he did find someone he cared enough about, he would have NO idea what to do and it would be so off-putting that they’d likely run for the hills. Severus, as disappointed as he was, was convinced he’d live out the rest of his days as a virgin. 

That was until he fell in love with you.

He admittedly didn’t expect it. You seemed rather average to him in the beginning. He failed to see how you were any different than anybody else he had ever encountered. The more time he spent with you, though, the more he saw in you. You were probably one of the most patient and understanding people he had ever met. You were an efficient communicator and an even better listener. You were a picture perfect person. He eventually found himself in a relationship with you that exceeded having dinner and private talks in each other’s offices. 

For the first time in Severus Snape’s life, he had a steady girlfriend. 

As thrilling and exciting as that was, it also caused a whole new set of worries for him. Having a girlfriend meant that he was going to have to be fully intimate at some point. It wasn’t something he could keep putting off the way he had been. You had a gut feeling that Severus had never had sex before. At first, you brushed his hesitation off to just being nervous. However, you began to notice the way he visibly would shrink away any time your make out sessions began to heat up. If nothing else, it explained why your relationship seemed to move at an aggravatingly tortuous pace. 

He’d become fidgety when you tried to reach for his belt or when your giggles turned into breathy moans. He would simmer down the situation before it could ever evolve into more, which he hated to do. He knew you were dismayed whenever he did so. You were a beautiful, young woman who had needs. It wasn’t fair that you had to push your needs aside because of him. He definitely didn’t want you to begin to think that it had something to do with you. 

He had never told you upfront that he was a virgin, and he hoped that maybe he would never have to. Whenever he did build up the courage to make love, perhaps he could get away with not saying anything. That dream was rather short lived when you finally questioned him one night after he turned you away once more. 

You had been snuggled up next to him on the sofa in his living quarters, just chatting after a long day when your kisses became a little more heated and you ultimately ended up in his lap. Your knees were on either side of him so you were in a straddle position, kissing him with passion and desire. He kissed back as always, but you could feel the hint of uncertainty as his lips worked with yours. You kept in mind that this was usually the part where he’d stop you or get himself out of it. Still, you rolled your hips downwards into his crotch, your fingers finding his belt and beginning to unbuckle it. 

As expected, he stopped kissing you and gently gripped your wrist. That was his signal for you to stop, to which you would normally just smile reassuringly and move on. However, you pulled your hand from his grasp and rested both of them on his shoulders. 

You were intently looking at him, reading his guilt-stricken expression.

“Severus,” You began; “Is there something you want to tell me?”

He knew exactly what you meant. It was only a matter of time before you began to question him. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” He said, letting the lie slip through his teeth.

You never averted your eyes from him. He wasn’t leaving until you obtained some answers. You wrapped a lock of his charcoal colored hair around your finger and twirled it mildly. 

“Most men barely wait for their girlfriend to make a move on them. With you, it seems like you don’t want me like that.” You pointed out.

Severus was quick to answer, because this was exactly the thing he didn’t want you to think.

“No, no. I do. I really do.” He said truthfully.

Make no mistake, Severus did want to have that level of intimacy with you. He just couldn’t push himself to that point. He never wanted to disappoint you in any way, and he just knew his skills were probably little to none. You were confused at his response.

“Then why do you always push me away when I try?” You queried.

He sighed heavily. It was a fair question for you to ask. He would’ve probably asked the same if he were in your shoes. It was humiliating, but he knew he couldn’t hide it any longer. He took a breath and told you that he was a virgin. He half expected you to get up and walk out or go tell every living soul you knew. Instead, you smiled kindly and let out a soft laugh that wasn’t at all intended to be a mock towards his confession. He clenched his teeth as he awaited your reply. You moved your right hand to cup the side of his face.

“Oh, Severus...is that all?” You asked sweetly.

A feeling of surprise and relief fizzled through his body. He had been waiting for a much heavier, dramatic reaction. 

“Well, I...it’s not really something I thought I’d ever tell you.” He explained, avoiding your gaze.

“You didn’t think you could keep it from me forever, did you?” You wondered. He didn’t respond, so you went on; “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I can help you.” 

He let out an irritated huff. You could tell he was beyond embarrassed.

“You shouldn’t have to.” He said.

You kissed his forehead, encouraging him to embrace the situation a little. 

“I want to. It’ll benefit more than just me. Your first time should be special. I want to make it special,” You acknowledged; “But only if you want to. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

He was at a crossroads here. He wanted to do this, but he was still nervous. There were a million ways he could go wrong and mess up, but he also never thought there’d be anyone willing to offer a hand to him as an adult virgin. He realized that he loved you too much to keep treating you this way...so he agreed. He couldn’t help but nervously chuckle at your blinding smile. You were eager to teach him. He’d be a master in no time. 

“I promise we’ll go slow.” You declared, whipping your shirt off of your head. 

Severus felt a surge of heat go through his body at your breasts that were now VERY prevalent to him. His eyes widened and his stare lingered on them like a kid in a candy store. He looked over the black, lacy material of your bra and how it perfectly accented them. His cheeks burned a fiery red that he tried to hide, but to no avail. You bit your bottom lip to hold back a smile.

“Blushing already, Professor?” You asked teasingly. 

If he was already this flustered, you couldn’t wait to see him when you got to the good stuff. His eyes snapped back to yours, he sheepishly apologized.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

You hushed him, putting a finger to his lips.

“Shh. It’s okay.” 

You took his hands, bringing them around to your back. You maneuvered his fingers to unclasp your bra, and you slowly pushed the straps down your arms until it fell to the floor. His cheeks turned a darker shade of red now that you were fully exposed to him. He didn’t even try to confine his stare now. You spoke softly. 

“You can touch them if you want.” You granted.

“Touch them?” He asked.

You giggled lightly.

“Yeah, S. With your hands...or your mouth.”

He decided to go with the first option, not confident enough in his skills yet. His hands were trembling a tad, as he brought them up to your chest. He was awkward at first, sort of just fondling with them in an amateurish way. Your nipples grew hard at the feeling of his large hands on your soft skin. He wasn’t sure what made him do it, but he leaned forward and took one of your nipples into his mouth. He sucked firmly and swirled his tongue over your breast. A satisfied gasp fell from your lips, startling him and causing him to stop.

“Are you alright? Did that hurt?” He asked frantically.

You let out another laugh.

“Sev, I was moaning.” You told him.

He shyly grinned.

“Oh.” 

He took your nipple into his mouth again, his confidence slowly but surely beginning to build. You brought a hand to the back of his head.

“Kiss my neck.” You instructed.

He nodded, moving his lips up to your neck and kissed where you guided his head to go. You grinded your hips down onto his lap, a groan falling from his throat. You could feel his growing erection through his pants. You smirked, knowing the real show was about to begin. 

“Let’s move to the bedroom.” You said, persuading him up from the sofa.

You took him by the hand, leading him to his large bed. You debated for a moment over what the best approach to this was. You thought for a minute that maybe it would be best if he stayed on the bed and you rode him, but you figured that he wouldn’t learn much out of that, however it would be pleasurable for him. You wanted his first time to be special, as you had previously mentioned. You decided to go traditional missionary, that way you could talk him through it. 

You laid on your back, laughing at the way Severus was ogling over you. You motioned for him with your finger, and he timidly climbed onto the bed. He instinctively placed one of his knees on either side of you, which was a good start. 

“Move down a little.” You requested. 

He shifted down a bit so you could unfasten his belt and his pants. He helped you get them off, throwing them aside. You did away with your skirt and panties, now fully naked in front of him. He was fully hard now, your hand palming at his evident erection. He let out a soft groan, feeling amazed at how he had never been touched by anyone else like this before. 

He sprang free once his boxers were thrown aside to join the growing pile of clothes on the floor. Your eyes gazed at his length, raking him over. You snapped out of your trance, taking him into your hand. You stroked slowly and softly, just enough so he could see how it felt.

You knew this was going to be a tedious process for the first time, you didn’t want to completely overwhelm him and ruin it for him. He let out a stuttered sigh at the feeling of his dick in your hand. He had of course rubbed himself like this before, but it was totally different when it was being done to him. His sounds were alone enough to make your sex become slick with wetness, but you reached for one of his free hands.

“Take these two fingers,” You said, pushing his side three fingers down, just leaving his middle and ring finger. You brought his fingers to your heated sex; “Now, just gently-”

You were stunned when he began rubbing in circles, slowly but firmly. You wriggled underneath him, not prepared for him to do it so well. You let out a groan at the waves of pleasure building through you, he kept his eyes on you with a rather concerned expression. He was still afraid of hurting you or messing up. 

You stopped stroking him, taking his wrist and directing his fingers towards your clit. He knew he had hit the spot when you breathed out his name in a way he had never heard you before.

“Severus...” You exhaled.

He felt a burst of pride. Maybe he really could get the hang of this. He could feel the wetness spreading around his fingers, which is when you knew to stop him and move on with your instructions. You were beginning to realize that Severus was a fast learner. He’d have this in no time. You were a little breathless now, which swelled him with even more confidence.

“Take one of my legs and wrap it around your waist.” You said.

He took your right thigh into his hand, securing and hooking your leg around him. He noted that was how he’d be sure that you wouldn’t get too far from him. He was beginning to put pieces together.

“Okay, when you’re ready just push yourself in. Go slow at first.” You said, lining him up with your entrance. 

His tip just barely was touching you, he looked to you, stricken with a bit of panic.

“[Y/N], I don’t want to hurt you.” He said, registering that this was the part he was most scared of.

You shook your head. Half in desperation for him and half to reassure him. You put his hands on your hips so he’d be steady once he did start to move. 

“You’re not going to hurt me, Sev. I promise,” You said truthfully; “Just go at your pace. I’ll tell you if it hurts.”

You knew it wouldn’t, but it made him feel better to hear you say it. He took a breath, and leisurely pushed himself in as far as he could. You both let out a synchronous moan. He didn’t move for a second, wrapping his head around how damn good this felt. You didn’t expect him to stretch and fill you the way he did, so you were a little scattered when you spoke next.

“S-Sev, pull out a little, and then go back in again.” You said.

He gingerly pulled out, and went back in. He watched each time he moved in and out. He saw the way your eyelashes fluttered each time he went back in, and how your grip on his bicep tightened. You weren’t used to such a slow speed, but you didn’t want him to go fast if he didn’t feel like he could yet. However, you did try to convince him to pick it up a little.

“A little faster. If you want.” You said, really hoping he’d get the hint. 

He did get it, and began to rock his hips faster, filling in the pauses that he had been taking between tortuous thrusts. He had figured out a rhythm now, his movements becoming monotonous, but gloriously good. He watched as your breasts bounced each time he pounded back into you, and how your mouth fell open with noises that were music to his ears. 

You knew Severus was getting the hang of it, so you gave him another request.

“Take my leg and put it on your shoulder.” 

He gave you a puzzled look, thinking that there was no way that would actually do anything. Still, he draped your leg over his shoulder and he thought he might just collapse. He was slamming into you at a new angle that was a total game changer, and created a whole new feeling of pleasure. 

He knew sex was supposed to feel good, but he never thought it would feel THIS good. It was a bit of an accident, but he rotated his hips and you let out a high-pitched shriek that even he couldn’t mistake as a bad sound. You smirked at how he was now hitting your sensitive spot each time he went back in.

“Severus, you feel so good. Holy- yes, that’s perfect.” You cried out.

He didn’t dare speed up or slow down, if he had it right, he wasn’t going to mess with it. He continued to pound into you, alerted when he felt himself twitch inside of you. He assumed that meant that something was happening. Your own inner coil was growing hot, which was a delight to you, because you honestly weren’t sure at first if you would even finish since it was his first time. You arched your back to meet his thrusts, both of your releases coming quickly.

“Darling, I think I’m about to-” He was cut off by another one of your moans.

He felt the muscles in your leg contract, as you came around him. He thrusted a few more times before he did as well. A flash flood crashed over every nerve in his body. Your arms rested above your head as your chest heaved with each inhale. He slid out of you, falling next to you on the mattress. His head was spinning.

He had just lost his virginity. Something he had kept so private and locked away. He thought that maybe he’d be a little sad, but he wasn’t. He was beyond joyed to have lost it to someone he cared about so much. He leaned over, kissing your neck and nibbling on your earlobe.

“How...how was that?” He asked, a little apprehensive to hear your answer.

You looked over at him, a flashy smile and a voice full of honesty.

“Severus Snape,” You said; “You are one fast learner.”

[risingroseart]

I posted 37 times in 2022

24 posts created (65%)

13 posts reblogged (35%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@risingroseart

@southfarthing

@abyssanyon

@rainbowchibbit

@risingroseakira

I tagged 29 of my posts in 2022

Only 22% of my posts had no tags

#my art - 14 posts

#doodle - 12 posts

#digital art - 11 posts

#fanart - 10 posts

#risingroseart - 9 posts

#mcyt - 9 posts

#sketch - 8 posts

#critical role - 7 posts

#cr fanart - 6 posts

#critical role fanart - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 108 characters

#i know its a common choice bc tangos colors are warm so colder colorscheme is obv a good opposite to use but

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

You know when you have these jokes and shitposts that only you and one other person on the planet really understand?

Well I thought I would share this anyway! even though only @galaxy-minecart has the full context to this jfhgkfhg

So here's the first one. Some more Wither-Watcher Deity!Grian stuff (you can find a proper drawing of him here, since I gave up drawing him properly after my 5th redraw on this fucking meme shitpost) but he's been thrown into empires smp.

More context under the cut

[do not repost, edit, use or claim as your own] [Reblogs help the artist]

So its basically from a deity grian crossover with empires (i made this before he canonically visited the server LOL) coupled with the imo absolutely hysterical concept of Joel just refusing to believe in deities and demons and the like. I mean when Xornoth showed up, mans deadass went ''i do not see. i am looking away. Xornoth? never heard of them.'', so its probably the same with gods.

Anyway so deity!grian shows up on the server and bumps into joel and makes him his 'listener' (which does NOT mean the same thing as it does in canon watcher lore in the absolute slightest. listeners in my lore are basically followers of the watchers, and as far as i know canon listeners are against the watchers so kgkfhghg v different) but joel the small king refuses to believe (or at least admit to believe) that grian is a god so he acts like they're just ''allies''. nevermind the dread of feeling the very gaze of the universe itself befalling Joel whenever he does something Grian dislikes, no supernatural powers to be seen here, no gods in this town,,,

235 notes - Posted January 12, 2022

#4

[Please don’t repost, use, edit, NFT, claim as your own or otherwise steal.]

Hello!! I’m alive and well. 

I haven’t had much to post as most of my art has been unfinished and/or private worldbuilding stuff or figuring out people’s designs. However I have fallen into a deep critical role hyperfixation on campaign 3, Ashton’s design and Campaign 1 Percival (etc etc) de Rolo and his whitestone arc, so I’ve been doing a few doodles of some designs here and there - specifically for c3 since I’m still new to c1. This is the first proper colored one however, so yay! It’s Ashton in pretty much the same outfit Taliesin wore during Ashton’s introduction bc I haven’t been able to get that visual out of my head :] I love their laugh, whenever I hear it is when I can best visualize them in my head, it’s so distinctly their sound. Might be my now pfp, maybe! love them a lot. Also hi critters! I’m new in this corner of the internet! any fellow newbies out there? :> 

[Reblogs help the artist! Comments and tags are very much appreciated as well!]

249 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

#3

hi im rusty and not supposed to draw bc it has been a month and my hand has continuously hurt the whole time (which is also why there hasnt been any posts in a bit) but I had to do at least ONE doodle during the restream. I hope to make a "there's strength, but there's pain; There's pain, but there's strength." painting once im able but that might be a while

276 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

#2

[Please don’t repost, trace, use, edit, steal, NFT, claim as your own, or any of that stuff.]

hi fcg’s eyes are a struggle and im still working on his design but uhhh decided to draw my beloved he/they player character duo. also yes im aware ashton’s outfit looks different in their character art but i felt like playing around with it some more :v he’s so much fun to draw.

Reblogs help the artist! Tags and comments also keep me motivated

546 notes - Posted April 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Team Rancher has my whole entire heart

Hi, hello, I'm alive and I'm Totally Normal about these two.

Wanted to post this before I get so swept up in Empires Season 2 that I forget to put this here- I saw the scene where Tango was raging and Jimmy did his best to calm him down and stop him from doing something stupid and he said that quote and this. came to me in a vision, i immediately grabbed my tablet lol. Team Rancher brainrot is real, i love that these two got put together as soulmates. cant wait for next season when theyll probably burn down desert duo's incredibly flammable base [Reblogs and Comments help the artist and are very much appreciated!]

! Do not repost, edit, steal, NFT, claim as your own, and so on and so fourth !

1,228 notes - Posted June 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

What’s your opinion for Leo’s reaction to finding out the mc was immortal as well- not necessarily a vampire, maybe they’re some other type of supernatural. I’m really curious because Leo seems like he’s mainly in love with the mc bec they are human.

Hi lovely!!! Always wonderful to see you, hope you’re well! 💛💛💛💛💛

Tbh I think my opinion remains the same about something like this? I'm going to link to an ask I wrote up a while ago, only because it's v pertinent to the subject matter and good background for what I’m going to expand on here.

That being said, I'm happy to kind of tl;dr/expand on what I talked about there. Basically I had the feeling that Leonardo choosing MC as a lover was more circumstantial--regarding the state of his life in the moment, regarding his general feelings about vampires and vampire society, and regarding his unresolved trauma as a young kid.

I guess my answer to that question--and forgive me if it seems like a cop out--is that it really depends, I feel? I think his attraction has a lot more to do with the kind of person somebody is, their sensibility, more than it has to do with mortal vs immortal. If it was an immortal MC that showed ridiculous fortitude and self-control, measured patience and maturity, I really don’t see him not noticing that? I think he would be wary at first (assuming it’s all a front) but with time would likely feel a great deal of love if they were interested in a life together. If they were able to see and understand what he needs and answered those needs, I guess I just really doubt his ability to say no. It’s all he’s really looking for, and the fact that he hasn’t found it after so long really speaks to his frightened evasiveness and the rare nature of that kind of unshakeable strength.

I also think a lot of his hinging away from purebloods (true immortals, in other words) is that he 100% does not want his familia having any involvement in his meaningful relationships. Which might be why he shows more acceptance towards turned vampires, or potentially different supernatural beings.

But I also don’t like giving a vague answer without some kind of explanation as to how I got, to that conclusion, so a boatload of analysis follows below the content warning.

Spoilers for Leonardo’s route and a few mentions of JPN ver content:

I think he has less of an obsession with the idea of mortality, and more like a constant association of goodness and freedom and maturity with humanity. And while it's understandable, there are signs that--when he has the proper time and space to heal--his views seem to soften from those extremes. I mean his decision to live with Comte is pretty much his first step in that direction; it was him acknowledging for the first time that vampires aren't inherently loathsome or incapable of normal living. (On a revealing note, I think it says a lot that he agrees with MC that she is living in a “wolves’ den” but also feels the need to clarify the men are basically the domesticated equivalent. They don’t pose the same threat other vampires typically do to humans because of their lifestyle and sire.) Additionally, his tsun-like behavior towards Comte also seems to solidify this concept for me: Leonardo’s trying to come to terms with something he's sworn to reject since he was young, but also can't entirely deny that Comte is as chill and mature as purebloods come lmao

[There was also an event in the JPN ver–which seems to be approaching the ENG version rapidly, though only the first part is here right now–in which Leonardo fully offers to turn her. MC is essentially on her death bed, and Leonardo doesn’t want to lose her after so little time together; it’s MC that rejects the future as a vampire out of sheer principle. Even more noteworthy is that, when a reincarnation of MC is reunited with Leonardo in modern times, he is revealed to be exceptionally shaken by that loss. There are suggestions he can’t take losing her again, which could mean succumbing to the desire to bite her.]

Two things I feel are necessary to hit home:

The first being that, at least within the storyline so far, the most mature and human-like vampires we’ve seen are Leonardo and Comte. They seek to emulate the maturity they see reflected in the human beings they’ve known all their lives. Given how vampire society and their hierarchies work, I get the feeling humans are nothing more than amusing tools to them--a way to survive and creatures to exercise control over. There’s an objectification and delusion that comes with what I’ve seen, and I think it’s important in this discussion? If the vast majority of vampires behave this way (because I’m ngl, Leonardo and Comte don’t seem very keen on remaining in touch with other vampires all that much) then it only makes sense they prefer the company of humans who can at least share this sensibility of “been there, done that--stop hurting people bc you’re bored/repressed, grow up.”

One event story where this was exceedingly evident was actually Leonardo’s proposal story. If y’all remember, an old pal/acquaintance of Leonardo’s finds out he’s gunning for a human woman and basically goes “lmao not on my watch.” His name was Adam iirc, and he felt he had every liberty to try and pressure Leonardo into turning MC. Failing that, he insisted they should break up and not be together anymore. Now, on the one hand, it’s fair to say that he was looking out for Leonardo in a way–he didn’t want him to end up miserable and alone when she was gone. But at the same time I feel that Adam’s behavior is deeply revealing of vampire society as well lmao. He doesn’t really try to understand the situation, just immediately assumes it’s the only appropriate outcome. It does insinuate a lowkey cultural disdain for humanity: they are imperfect, they do not last or cannot have real value without preservation. If Adam was really Leonardo’s friend, wouldn’t he realize that Leonardo considers vampirism nothing more than a burden that he would wish on no one, much less his future wife? Additionally, wouldn’t he also keep in mind that Leonardo considers human beings beautiful just as they are? Since he fails these basic requirements to understand Leonardo, my impression is that he is influenced by the larger vampire culture to some extent. Furthermore, it underscores just how thoroughly Leonardo has been trained to keep his cards close to his chest for fear of ridicule/violent reprisal: no vampires know his true feelings on the matter because he would be vehemently rejected outright.

[One can also offer that maybe Adam wasn’t being malicious, maybe vampires find human women they fall in love with all the time and turn them (or any other permutation of companionship that occurs), so he doesn’t understand why Leonardo wouldn’t. But even then, to try to force them to break up if she doesn’t turn? A bit overkill imo but also revealing--Leonardo’s will is being ignored for the sake of upholding a kind of ill-founded superiority complex lmao]

While Leonardo does have a somewhat overbearing need to control the pacing of his relationship and who sacrifices what, I don’t think it’s wrong to be cautious--to want to think things through. I think it’s fair to be afraid that the person you’re with can’t handle what you’ve seen/known. But that also leads me to a core issue I have with MC: she doesn’t inspire much confidence that she can handle the life he’s lived, and that’s a problem of both incapacity and incompatibility. I have to wonder how he reacts when he’s with somebody at the same maturity level, or at the very least somebody with whom he can see her strength with time. When MC’s life was dying out he was desperate enough to accept biting her because he didn’t want to lose her–human or not. It’s MC that rejects this solution, which leads me to further believe that he just doesn’t care about the divide when it comes down to it; it has more to do with his difficulty with being vulnerable and fully trusting someone to care about him. (Assuming they also have the fortitude to stay hopeful and relatively strong over the course of a very long life.)

In line with that, the second thing I think it’s important to acknowledge is how deeply hurt Leonardo is as a result of his family treating him like a fool/black sheep. He outright says and heavily insinuates that his family would write her off as worthless, that they’d never accept her--that's his first thought:

Leonardo: “My familia would call you frail. I think you’re strong and beautiful. You do more with your time than we try to do with ours.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MC: “And those letters were from your familia?”

Leonardo: “Yeah. I don’t talk to them or see them anymore. We don’t agree...on a lot of things.”

[Brief intermission here. But lmao. Who does that sound like? If any of you guessed Isaac, that’s exactly what I’m alluding to. Isaac says in his own route smth along the lines of “Why bother trying to get through to people when no amount of talking does any good or gets you any closer to being understood?” Which also explains the way they get along to uncanny degrees: they find comfort in making things/researching because it means being able to avoid the distress that comes with being blatantly misunderstood by others. Their pain simply comes in different dimensions; for Leo it’s about loss and hiding who he is out of fear of rejection, for Isaac it’s about betrayal and people turning on him--ultimately abandonment for both. But I digress, back to the main argument.]

Leonardo: “Once they discovered my location, they began hounding me with letters again. They don’t want me to be with just anyone...They want more purebloods. I’m no more than one half of an equation for them.”

There is a clear implication that his desire to choose somebody that truly makes him happy means jack shit to them. They keep talking over him and trying to wear him down to force him into what they want. It’s no wonder--imo--that he has such a hard time just saying what he wants in his life, to feel like he has the freedom to wish and pursue anything freely. It’s no wonder he just expects MC to spit on everything that’s important to him. It appears as though only other human beings in general and Comte have ever come close to understanding him.

At some point MC realizes that his insistence on being compagni provvisori was originally just another act of sacrifice, and that he was fine with giving up his time and a little privacy if it meant she would be safe. The thing she doesn’t seem to realize in the course of this--and he struggles to say it until later on--is that it stopped being blind generosity. He really did start to fall in love with her, and that’s the whole reason things became even more messy; because he didn’t anticipate not being able to let go on top of the vulnerability. And it’s a big part of why he’s hesitating to speak. He feels he has no right to those feelings, and that he’s imposing on her--not that he’ll be welcome.

And when she did finally admit those feelings were welcome, it was compounded by the parroted views of his family and larger vampire society as a whole. Saying that she herself wasn’t enough, that she had to become a vampire to make him happy. Imo that sounds very potentially retraumatizing given his experiences (people trying to force him into marriages with other vampires who didn’t remotely understand or care about him because it was “the right way of things”). It’s no wonder he freaks out and does something incredibly stupid and insensitive–which is pretty insanely ooc for him.

Leonardo: “...It shocked them. Quieted them down a bit. Hard to get peace when your familia is immortal. Grazie, cara mia.”

Leonardo: “You’re strong, and you’re kind. So probably you won’t cry while I’m here to see it. But when I’m not looking, you’ll cry. If I had done that to you (bitten her, in other words), you’d still be crying when I wasn’t watching... Maybe it’s selfish of me, after what I did, but I just wanted to make you happy. You always look pretty, cara mia, but your smile takes my breath away...It’s not your destiny to love someone who will only make you cry.”

This man literally cannot handle anyone deeply sad or in despair. He’s always going to try to cheer people up and care about them, but general tragedy/emotional discord affects him very powerfully--and it’s likely a reflection of what I’ve mentioned before. He can’t bear to see people feeling helpless or miserable because he’s just been there too many times to be able to cope. He wants to help and heal (even if he’s suffering from prolonged compassion fatigue), but he knows that his powers are limited--even if he is a pureblood.

And the thing is? While it’s misguided to believe she would cry alone when it comes to the context of healthy romantic love (bc the idea would be that you lean on each other when something upsetting happens) he has zero reference point. He was not born as a result of authentic love (his parents never married, he was the result of a procreative arrangement), his family talks over every wish and belief he has and they still claim it’s done out of love/honest concern for him. One can only imagine the serpentine and obnoxious lengths to which his family has deceived or tried to force him into reconnecting with them. Every person that ever did know him/care about him in a real way is gone. Love, for him, has only been a series of losses that left his heart hollowed out; I don’t really blame him for expecting further disappointment and isolation and exhaustion. 

He’s also not wrong in the sense that he partially saw MC do what he outlined, and it’s a big part about what he loves about her. When she was feeling alone and lost–powerless–all she did was shrug and move forward. That doesn’t make it hurt any less, but focusing on what you can do instead of what you can’t do is healthier. And they both have the tendency to hide when they’re in pain or feeling lost, all because they don’t want to trouble anyone. Remember that when he says this, it’s a reflection of himself too: because even if he was heartbroken beyond measure, all he would do is hide it every second; he would never expect anyone to see right through him or care.

I mean I tend think of that one post I saw that talked about how people often see themselves as a social burden when most of their life has just been a series of neglect and loss. They don’t really have a concept of “you’re not heavy because I want to stay with you. It’s my choice to care about you.” How do you feel worthwhile an existence when four hundred years later your family still won’t treat you with basic dignity. The men in the mansion also all look to him for guidance and soothing because of the kind of person he is–he’s either silent in the periphery or helping. He never betrays so much as an inkling of insecurity or distress. 

I mean the whole reason Leonardo comes to the mansion is because he has absolutely no issue helping Comte in a pivotal time of need without seeking much of anything in return. Remember that Comte explains how Leonardo came to the mansion in response to Comte’s distress about the future. This makes sense considering Comte was rapidly trying to stop Vlad by beating him to the punch, and had only enough time to plan the basics. He had no certainty things would work out, much less that his boys would thrive. But Comte, unlike the boys, has become acutely aware of how much Leonardo is hiding his fatigue and despair in the course of being helped. As such, he wants to return the favor--and tries to be a good friend to him as much as he can (handles his insane familia, keeps things light and silly time between them, takes him seriously as a person, doesn’t pry beyond what’s fair.)

[I also think of that psychology concept of “the good enough mother.” It’s not always about being perfect every second of your life. It’s about paying attention and acting where it really counts. I feel like people who grow up under an enormous burden of neglect or parental/mentor abuse have a hard time coming to terms with the idea. This notion that just trying is enough for a lot of people, that showing them they’re not alone is enough to make  difficult memories bearable. Because it’s the oppressive silence and apathy that tends to kills people, imo--not people who mean well. But Leonardo doesn’t really understand any kind of reciprocal or non-self-emptying model because the concept is beyond him. He has no experience with it beyond Comte and a select few humans he’s befriended.]

Let’s continue on this point of MC crying where he can’t see her, shall we? The reason this scares him so much is not because he doesn’t care, or doesn’t want to make the effort. It’s precisely that he cares to the point of madness. It’s that he is legitimately convinced nothing he has to say, nothing that he can do, no part of him is enough to ease what she will have to trade away to stay with him. The core issue is not one of disregard or objectification, I find it to be more about his belief that he just isn’t enough. He doesn’t trust that anyone can love him to the point where just the sight of him or time with him can heal. And while there is a foolishness to this belief, it’s understandable when you consider where he’s coming from. You can call it selfishness, but it just feels involuntary--he has a lot of fear when it comes to love.

I mean Comte even says it himself? His words here always strike me: “I want you to understand, it’s because he cherishes you just as you are--more than he cares about his future or his well-being.”

Comte is openly identifying the way that Leonardo has a tendency to give more than is healthy. That Leonardo isn’t hesitating because his feelings are lacking, he’s doing it because he knows it’s going to hurt like a bitch trying to love her and never ask beyond what feels reasonable. (Spoilers: no request is reasonable. That’s the problem here. He’s convinced he deserves nothing.) Therefore turning her into a vampire to stay with him is--consequently, to Leonardo--out of the question. This is the literal hingepoint at which Comte and Leonardo divide; Comte simply tells MC he’ll take full responsibility for asking so much of her. He intends to make her happy with every single resource and skill he has at his disposal. Even if he doubts his ability or fears losing her to vampire rhetoric madness, he’d rather try than live with the regret and immediate loss. Leonardo is more resistant because of his dour outlook, that her fear of immortality is never going to be something that either of them can overcome. And/or he’s likely afraid she’s only going to regret being together after so long, and might succumb to the ridiculous sort of power/greed complexes vampires seem so attracted to by nature.

I think Leonardo is still coming to terms with the idea that he isn't alone in the world in a lot of ways, and I think he's also coming to terms with the idea that immortality does not equate to evil. Sure, human beings on average are probably more open to flexible modes of thinking and living compared to vampires--their maturity is in some ways guaranteed due to the instances they're forced to adapt to survive. However, just one look at the ruling class and oligarchies of all kinds (even just stubborn human beings) reveals how they are not immune to the same sort of megalomania, arrogance, and thoughtless violence purebloods/vampires are capable of.

So I guess I hesitate when it comes to the thought that he only loves her because she's human. If anything, I think he loves her for the fact that she's very rooted in reality--not quite so bound by the extremes that trouble him. It's one of the many reasons I believe Leonardo needs a lot of maturity and patience; the ability to differentiate between his panicked/overwhelmed/hurt reactions versus his calm is a skill in and of itself considering his capacity for concealment. To say nothing of getting him to slow down when this happens, too.

I suppose I think about it in a way that’s similar to how Napoleon’s main story narrative is framed. While Leonardo’s route doesn’t focus on the grandeur of being a former emperor, there is a clear insinuation here that he also craves normalcy? Just a little life, with a person he loves dearly, where he can rest and be himself for once. I think because he gives off such an appearance of steadiness, people fail to see that he is barely holding on--not to mention the kind of experiences he’s been deprived of (the exact security and understanding he so expertly emulates).

Closer to your question, it’s worth mentioning that Leonardo’s life goal for a while was the creation of an immortal human being--in that he fully recognized human beings could not offer what he needed as they were.

He loves humans because of their adaptability, their frequent desire to keep seeking out hope and making the best of the broken pieces they have. But then again, it has more to do with the nature of how frequently that sensibility occurs in humans vs vampires (and immortality in general): mortality does demand some level of necessity to change and grow. Which is one of the largest trauma points for him; the vampires around him just refused to grow up, always demanding at him like children and obsessed with their power complexes.

Thing is I also don't know enough about vampire society to know how correct this perceived ratio is. However, given Comte's similar avoidance of other vampires and general inability to live with them (he and Vlad were literal childhood best friends and Comte can't stand him anymore lmao) I think Leonardo may have more validity here than people give him credit for. Which begs the question--why did he quit trying to make a human immortal? What was it that stopped him? Was it the horror of what needed to be done to achieve it? Or would a potential companion start to fall more in love with the idea of immortality than they do with life itself/him? I think it’s a worthwhile question to ask, given the disdain he seems to aim at Shakespeare in particular--once human, but now emulates all of the violence and insatiability marked by vampirism.

This is where the transition from human to vampire/immortal contains another hingepoint: is Leonardo so incapable of finding a middle ground because he feels like any choice he makes will be a wrong one? Marry a human, deprive them of a normal love where they can grow old together. Marry a human and turn them, what if they are reborn with immortal wounds/psychological harm? What if time proves they get bored of him or hateful, what if they begin to act like the predatory purebloods he hates so much? Marry a pureblood/immortal, and be hounded by his family for heirs--risk being with somebody who will never love him or their children, and only inspire more misery in the world.

Does it make sense how this can really start to become an anxious downspiral for someone like him? How the personal insecurity and life history comes together to just compound stress endlessly?

That's the thing that's important here, I think. Leonardo just needs somebody who is open-minded, firm, and not easily deceived. If one takes a look at Leonardo's main story route, the whole reason everything goes to shit so disastrously is because MC stops listening at a critical point. Granted Leonardo could have been more forthcoming for sure, but when she started assuming Shakespeare was right instead of seeing how Leonardo was feeling/reacting, she responded in ways Leonardo wasn't prepared for. He never wanted to shake her faith or insinuate whatever she is is not good enough for him, and tbh I think Leonardo downspiraled because it was just the same thing all over again. What he is--a vampire and immortal--keeps ruining everything he wants with his life.