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everythingmp3 · 6 months ago

Text

𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬

Tess Servopoulos x fem!reader

this is a combination of three concepts: no outbreak + Joel is readers father and Tess is his best friend (my take on the dbf thing) + road trip.

AO3

you can find part 2 here

authors note: this started out as just for fun but then it turned into the longest fic I’ve ever written and I ended up really liking it, so wanted to put it out there! I tried to keep it fun and light while also giving the characters depth and heart and I think it ended up being a good mix of the two. it brought me a lot of joy to spend time with this story, it is close to my heart now and I’m proud of it, so I hope you have a good time reading <3

warnings: minors dni. drinking, brief discussion of a strained mother relationship, smut. reader is in her early 20s and Tess is in her early/mid 40s, so obviously a large age gap

word count: 23k

when your father suggested to you that you should drive back home from college with Tess instead of paying for a flight, you thought please god no.

it wasn´t that you had anything against her, you´d never even been introduced, but after the stress of finals and packing up your dorm the last thing you wanted to do was to spend hours and hours trapped in a car with a stranger. the reason that you had never met her even though she was his best friend was that she moved to Boston ages ago and they mostly did their friendship long distance, Joel mostly visited her whenever you were at your grandparents or your mothers place for spring break or the summer. you were aware of her, you knew they were close and had a longstanding friendship, but you had yet to meet her for the first time. now that you weren´t a kid anymore he thought it could be fun, to connect you two, since you were both two of the most important people in his life.

he really tried to sell it to you when he heard a hesitant silence on the other end of the call, going on and on about the beautiful lush nature you could see on the drive, the adventurous nature of it all, the fact that Tess was a very chill person who wouldn´t be overbearing at all, and you could tell from his tone how enthusiastic he was about the idea of having his daughter and his best friend finally getting to know each other, so you masked your initial annoyance and agreed to it, telling yourself that if it was really that bad you could just pretend to fall asleep in the passenger seat for a few hours.

Tess had about the same reaction when he called her to suggest that she should take you with her on her drive down to Texas. she had a thing for road trips, especially during summer, the feeling of an open road with the windows down and hours of nobody to answer to, so she´d told him in advance that she would come by car to visit him, so when he realized that you´d be off school the same week she was planning to come, he thought perfect, Boston is very close to her college town. Tess had no good argument against taking you with her and she knew that she´d be in his good graces afterwards, so she thought fuck it, what´s the worst that could happen? she would come to remember this moment later and think if you only knew.

you could tell that Joel was kind of hoping that Tess might function as a sort of mother figure for you, since you and your mom were anything but close, but what he didn´t realize was that the kind of attention you wanted from women like her was not necessarily the maternal kind, at least not strictly, otherwise he might have thought twice about putting you in a confined space with his good looking friend.

Joel gave you her number and predictably she was not one for long or emotional responses, a short and unembellished “see you at 12.” was all you got from her, no “looking forward to meeting you”, no “see you then!”, which made you wonder whether that was just the way she texted or if she was also kind of reluctant about the whole thing. for some reason it made you feel better to know that she wasn´t the type to be overly excited, nothing would have grated on your nerves more than having to be chipper and talkative the whole drive. something about her being more on the reserved side seemed desirable to you as you made your way downstairs that morning, a little tired and hungover from the farewell party the night before, your head pounding for a moment as you stepped out into the sun.

it took you about five minutes until you reached the side of the road where you´d agreed to meet and the first thing you thought when you spotted her was thank god the car is big. the second thing was she looks much cooler than I expected. of course you´d seen pictures of her but they didn´t do her justice at all; Tess was leaning back against the passenger side door, her arms crossed, her black t-shirt and worn out jeans an effortless but flattering look for her, her stance giving off an air of confidence as the wind blew through her hair. for a moment there you were glad you´d actually bothered to get dressed in a real outfit and not just lounge wear. Tess´s mental image of you was also very different from the reality that she was confronted with, for a moment she didn´t even register that it was you as you came closer because for some reason she´d pictured you much younger, probably due to Joel´s habit of calling you his “babygirl”. the moment she saw you she realized that you were fully grown, not some little girl.

due to that slight confusion she only got up to move towards you once you were only a few feet away, giving her a friendly nod as you already felt sweat collecting at your hairline from the effort of carrying your bags. “hey” you said as you stood there, slightly self conscious as she pushed up her sunglasses to take a good look at you, waiting a second before she said “you´re late.” in a stern tone that took you off guard. you glanced down at your phone “yeah by two minutes...”, suppressing a laugh because you knew that it might not land well. Tess was never the best at first impressions and she realized that she might have come on too strong there, so she pointed at your luggage “here, let me take care of those, you go ahead and get in”, so you handed her everything you´d brought, except for the smaller bag that held your books, water, etc., smiling to yourself and shaking your head as you got into the car, thinking well, this is gonna be interesting.

you tried to find a casual way to sit as she got in on the other side and rested her hands on her thighs before turning to you.“so. here´s the plan” she started, before going on to lay out your next 30 hours or so, she kept it brief, telling you which states you´d have to pass through, including an overnight stay somewhere in Tennessee if she had calculated the amount of miles you could manage in a day right. you just nodded along, adding the occasional “sounds good”, not giving her any trouble, before she started the car. you tried to butter her up a little then “thank you for doing this by the way. I know you probably would´ve preferred to do it on your own so.. yeah I appreciate the ride, really, it beats having to get up at 3am to go to the airport”, she could tell that you were a little worried about being a nuisance so she softened her tone a little, “oh it´s fine, really, besides I think he also had to do some convincing to get you to agree to this huh?” you laughed then, “I mean, a little yeah.”. she looked good driving, competent, you suddenly felt relaxed as you got comfortable in the passenger seat, rolled the window down a little, and started chatting with her about the surface level stuff that strangers always had to get out of the way when trying to get to know each other.

she asked about college, about classes, how you lived, roommates all that, you asked her about her job, her apartment, what she does on weekends, but after a while you both felt the other one getting bored so it turned a little more personal, you asked her “so, remind me how did you and my dad meet again? I´m sure he´s told me before but I forgot”. she thought for a moment, you just looked at her from the side, enjoying the draft of the wind that was cooling you down in the midday heat, “well, I think it was the second year of college. oh yeah I remember now, we were both at this awful party, like truly not the crowd any of us would have usually hung with, and we ended up in the garden smoking while things were escalating inside. I think we were both just glad to meet a somewhat sane person we could sit in silence with for a moment so yeah, guess that was that, we hung out a lot after that”, you nodded, smiling at the idea of them around your age.

“well from what I´ve witnessed I think you´re a good friend to him. really helped him a lot when things were.. you know not great back then after the divorce and all that. maybe I benefitted too from that, him being more stable thanks to your support” she shook her head “okay you´re giving me too much credit there I think. but yeah I remember, it was a tough time. you were too young to remember much right?”, she seemed genuinely interested then, leaning over a little while glancing back and forth between the road and your face, “yeah I just remember bits and pieces. but you know, things got better for sure, seems like a distant memory now to be honest” she was glad to hear that, “yeah, from what I´ve heard you two did make a good duo” she´d heard endless praise from him, always calling you his angel to a point of her getting tired of it at times.

by that point of the drive you were already outside of city limits, on the highway, so for a few minutes you both sat there in silence until you tried to prop your legs up on the dashboard. she immediately shoved your knee to signal for you to take them down “oh no absolutely not”, “what? why??” you protested, “you would snap in fucking half if I made an abrupt stop right now with you sitting like that, and I plan on delivering you in once piece, so legs down, now”. reluctantly you put them down again, groaning a little, rubbing your temples yet again, you´d done this motion a few times before, and it dawned on her then what your issue was, “late night hm?” you didn´t laugh, “yes.” your tone indicating that you were regretting it, and Tess felt herself warming up to you then, knowing that you weren´t some sheltered miss perfect, but someone who would do something reckless like partying before two days of travel.

“you need an aspirin or something?” she said, a slightly condescending touch to it, which made you perk up and prove to her that you were doing just fine, “I´m good, thanks” you turned off the radio because the song was getting on your nerves, some awful pop tune you´d heard one too many times, “god I hate that fucking song.” you got an idea, “do you have an aux?”, she eyed you from the side, “well depends on what you´re gonna play”, you cocked your head, in a way that said really?, so she grinned and reached down to hand it to you, “here, let��s see what you got”. you took the challenge, scrolling through your playlists for a moment, “I think a road trip calls for some oldies, what do you want, something fun or something serious?” she thought of it, “I think fun is better, something upbeat would do you some good I think” teasing you a little, “right okay, I got it”, you put on one of your favorite songs from a 90s band, the one you always went for when you needed to feel energized and hopeful, you waited for her reaction to see if she knew the song, “you´ve never heard this one??” you said, a little incredulous, the first verse was still building up as she shook her head “no”. “damn, what were you doing in the late 90s?” she answered a little dramatically “jeez I don´t know, getting stoned, being stupid?”, you smiled, enjoying the feeling of messing with her, “well clearly, otherwise you wouldn´t have let this pass you by” , “how about you save the jokes and we just listen huh”, Tess said while pulling her sunglasses down to her nose again, so you stopped talking and turned up the volume, setting down the phone before rolling your window down all the way, the rush of air giving adding to the intense vibe of the song.

after a second you forgot about her and closed your eyes, getting into the familiar groove of the song, even better on loud car stereos, holding your arm out of the window and resting your head on your shoulder, feeling the wind between your fingers, moving your hand up and down in a wave like motion as you mouthed along to the lyrics you knew by heart. it was a moment of you fully losing all concept of time and space and it felt great, Tess tried to keep her eyes forward but she kept looking over at you, the sight was endearing to her, it looked straight out of a vintage photography book, all those shots of young people sticking their heads out of cars to feel a sense of freedom, of adventure, your lips forming the words she was hearing, the song much better than she expected, very close to the kind of stuff she´d put on. after a moment she forced herself to look away from you and the moment she realized that she had to muster up willpower to do it her whole body ran cold as she thought fuck. no, not her. she tried to recover but at her core she knew it was too late, something about you was getting to her, and it was getting worse by the second.

once the song was over you opened your eyes and sat upright in your seat again, looking at her, waiting for her to speak, she nodded in approval “yeah that was good”, “well I´ve got more where that came from” you announced while adding a few songs to a playlist, so the next hour or so you both mostly talked about music, she recognized one song you´d picked and told a story about a concert she´d been to where that exact one was also played, it made her feel good to see your eyes light up as she recalled the story, she liked being able to impress you with something and over the course of that hour you grew increasingly comfortable with each other, laughing more freely, making darker jokes, in general acting more the way you would with a friend. while a slower song was playing, you looked at her, not too obviously, and had a similar feeling to the one she´d had before; you caught yourself admiring the way her bare arms looked holding the steering wheel, her skin already slightly tan from the weeks of good weather before, the way her her hair fell down her shoulders, a few lighter strands shimmering whenever the sun hit them, you caught yourself anxiously checking how you looked in the side mirror and thought fuck. this is how I act when I am into someone. you tried to deny it for a moment but it was clear that you were starting to care what she thought of you, including your physique.

after a while she saw that you were battling fatigue and told you that you could rest if you wanted, so you did, using the sweater you had packed as a makeshift pillow squeezed between your shoulder and the window. for another hour or so she drove you two further into the country while you dozed off a few times but never really fell asleep, it was peaceful state to be in and she enjoyed the feeling of watching over you in a way, glancing over every now and then to make sure you still looked relaxed.

around 2pm you were startled out of your state of half sleep by the buzz of your phone and as you looked at with tired eyes you let out an audible “fuck no.. ughh”. Tess was amused by that reaction, “what? crazy ex or something?” you shook your head, not even cracking a smile at the joke because your heart was racing all of a sudden, “no I wish… it´s my mom.”. Tess had heard enough from Joel over the years to know that you and your mom weren´t exactly best friends, and for good reason. as his confidant she knew the whole story, that she´d left Joel for another man when you were around 4 to move to another state with him, that Joel got custody, which meant that you mostly saw her whenever you were off from school. she looked at you as you stared at the phone, deciding what to do, “you gonna answer or?”, you seemed panicked, “I don´t know”, “go on and answer, you can give me a sign if you wanna hang up and I will find a reason, okay?”, you gave her a look that said thank you as you picked up.

it wasn´t anything crazy, your mom was asking about your plans for the summer, if you´d come visit, how you were doing, but the way you were speaking was almost heartbreaking to Tess, it shocked her a little how your voice changed once you started talking to her, you sounded depressed almost, you spoke slower and with much less feeling, like you were putting up a mental barrier between yourself and her. thankfully the call only lasted a few minutes but it still left you feeling deflated as you put your phone down and sighed, Tess gave you a moment to relax before asking, “so, how are things with her?”, you shook your head, trying not to let it get to you, but the few times a month she called were always unnerving to you. “god I don´t know. it´s complicated”, Tess nodded, staring ahead, “I´m listening” something told her that it was a good idea to make you get it off your chest, so you tried to find a way to phrase it “it´s just.. when I was younger I stopped visiting her during summer when I was around 14 because she started accusing me of favoring dad, which is insane because of course I am closer to the parent I live with? so we kind of drifted apart, she never apologized or anything that went down and I was honestly fine with it just being dad and I. but then when I started college, all of a sudden she acted like nothing ever happened and tried to be all caring, asking me to come to her place more. but honestly, I don´t need all that anymore, I´m grown, I´m good without her. but I don´t know.. .” Tess took it in, “sounded to me like you really didn´t wanna take her up on that offer to visit in a few weeks”, you shook your head, “yeah I don´t wanna go, at all. but I guess I should”. Tess considered it, “I mean, you don´t have to. you can say no. after everything you went through, I think you don´t owe her shit”, that took you by surprise, it got to you, hearing someone put it that way, after being guilt tripped by your mom quite a few times over the years, “if you say so” you said, trying to internalize it, Tess nodded reassuringly as she stopped looking at the road for a moment and turned to you, “I am saying so, yes.”, a faint smile on your face then, which was relieving for her to see.

about fifteen minutes later you could feel yourself getting a little dizzy and tried to breathe through it but Tess noticed, you´d gotten suspiciously quiet “hey, you good?” she asked, resting her hand on your shoulder for a moment, which did soothe you a little, the feeling of her fingers on your skin, “yeah I just get a little car sick sometimes, but it´s fine”, “okay let´s stop at the next gas station and get something to drink, maybe move around a little to get your blood flowing again, alright?” you nodded, “okay”, a light squeeze on your arm from her before she let go of you, leaving your skin tingling where she´d made contact, you found yourself wishing you could ask her for a hug once you were out of the car and told yourself to get a grip already.

once she pulled into the parking lot of the gas station you moved to get out but she told you to wait, quickly walking around the car to open the door for you and offering a hand to help you up, an almost shy smile on your face as you let her do all that, “thanks” you said as you stood up next to her, straightening out your clothes and stretching your legs while looking around as she did too.“we really are in the middle of nowhere huh” you said as you looked at the fields around you that were only interrupted by a few small farms in the distance, “hm, looks like it” but both of you took some comfort in feeling like you were far away from your usual life, completely out of reach. “okay let´s go” she said, motioning for you to follow her. once you were inside you saw a bored looking girl around your age busy on her phone at the register and about a hundred different drinks to choose from in the fridges, as you both scanned the various labels you agreed that a classic coke was probably a good idea, so you reached in and grabbed two, “we´ll need some water too” she said as she walked away from you for a moment to get some while you briefly scanned the bars of chocolate and candy, debating whether you should get some but ultimately deciding against it.“here let me go check out, I´ll join you in a sec” she said pointing at a bench outside of the store, urging you to go get some fresh air and shake off the feeling of dizziness that was still somewhat messing with you.

you walked outside, taking in the air, a distinct smell of dry grass and dust, no noise at all except for the occasional car passing by. you sat down on the wooden bench and took some deep breaths as you felt your head getting clearer and your heartbeat becoming steadier again. once you heard the door slamming you perked up, watching Tess as she made her way over and flopped down next to you, handing you your coke, your water, and finally, dropping something in your lap that you couldn´t identify at first before picking it up: it was the exact brand of chocolate you had looked at before. apparently your eyes had lingered just long enough for her to see and as you looked down at the golden packaging you realized that she was admitting something to you in a way: the fact that she was paying close attention; someone else might have just written it off as a friendly gesture, but to you it seemed a little deeper than that, perhaps because you wanted it to be. you smiled at her sheepishly as she took a big sip of her coke, “thank you” you said, your tone all sweet, but she waved it off, not wanting any praise for it,“drink” she instructed, “and not just a sip, at least half that bottle, we need you fit again”, you nodded, taking the order, gulping down a good amount of the ice cold beverage, which did make you feel more energized immediately. for a second you both just sat there soaking up the sun, you weren´t facing her but your attention still went in her direction, the way she was sitting, relaxed and not afraid to take up space, the space between her jeans and shirt revealing a hint of her skin that made your cheeks feel hot, so you tried hard to look at other things, the perfect empty sky, the red truck that was passing by, the field across the road, anything but her, you knew by then how attentive she was, how little it would take to give yourself away.

after a while she leaned forward as she pointed into the distance, “look, those are horses I think, right?”, you squinted your eyes, “oh yeah that´s cool, it´s been ages since I´ve seen one. or ridden one for that matter. I kinda miss it sometimes.”. she turned her head and eyed you, saving the suggestive riding jokes she could´ve come up with in that moment, “you really are a Texas girl huh?” you smiled at her, “well, in that regard I guess. but other than that not so much..” she raised her eyebrows, “no?”, you shook your head, uncrossing your legs to sit more comfortably, blissfully unaware of her trying not to stare at your thighs, “no. I mean, do I strike you as the southern belle type?...” she looked you up and down, “hm, no guess not.” a grin from her then as she thought about how you definitely weren´t what she had expected. you were charming her without even trying hard and it was beyond whatever she had envisioned before, having fun was not what Tess had allowed herself to hope for when she agreed to take you with her, but there she was, a few hours into knowing you, already completely won over, the initial skepsis nowhere to be found.

for a second she completely forgot who your father was and felt the way she used to feel when she was hanging out with a girl she had a thing for, that slight buzz of adrenaline that tinged every interaction, the warmth in her chest, something passed between you for a moment, a silence that was a little too long and comfortable for it to mean nothing. you both could have stayed for longer but you still had a good few hours of driving ahead of you, so Tess clapped her hands together “alright, let´s go. you feel better right?”, you nodded emphatically as you stood up in unison with her, “yeah much better!”. she led the way and smiled to herself as she got back into the car, pretty certain at that point that you shared her feeling of this is much nicer than I expected.

once you were back on the road the energy shifted yet again, it was like there was an invisible barrier between you both that was breaking down by the minute, in some ways you were still feeling each other out, but in others you already felt like old friends, something was in the air, a sense of familiarity, even though neither of you had revealed anything too personal yet, there was an unspoken connection, the kind of thing that´s hard to put into words, a sense of I have a good guess who this person is deep down because I am similar.

as you were getting further South you came across some of the insane Christian billboards that were very familiar to you, huge banners you could read from far away that said things about the rapture and repenting, one particular one you saw that afternoon made you laugh, so Tess asked “what is it?”, you read it out loud for her “Heaven or Hell, which one will it be?”, a cheap graphic design of fire and clouds making it campy almost, Tess smiled, “wow, right to the point huh?”, you leaned over then, looking up at her with a challenging grin. “so, what will it be for you?”, she briefly glanced over at you, wondering if you were actually asking her or just fucking around, “well I highly doubt any god would let me into heaven so. I´ll burn I guess” a dry way of delivering it, no laugh to accompany it, which intrigued you then, “oh yeah? what makes you say that?”, she could tell you were daring her to tell you something juicy but she just shook her head, staring forward, “you really think I´ll just confess my sins to my friend´s daughter?”, you leaned back into your seat then, crossing your arms, sulking a little “oh come on, I am more than that. I can keep a secret you know” she nodded, not unaware of the slightly lascivious tone you used for that last part of your statement, “I bet you can. maybe ask me again after I´ve had a drink or two”, that sounded better to you, “alright, I will”.

she took her right hand off the steering wheel and turned to face you for a moment, reaching for the golden cross necklace that was dangling a few inches above your chest, taking the pendant between her fingers, the sudden unexpected intimacy of it making your face flush, “you´ll have an easier time getting in I suppose”, you had to recover for a second after she let go and drove with both hands again, “this is just for aesthetic purposes. I don´t think I am a good candidate for heaven either”, she didn´t buy it, “really? what have you done in your young years that is so unforgivable?”, you shrugged, imitating her previous answer, “you think I´ll just confess my sins to my father´s friend?”. touché she thought, “right, I´ll just have to use my imagination then”, her voice low enough as she said it to worsen the heat you´d already felt because of her, so you pulled down the window further and tried to cool down while she kept thinking about what you´d said, because for some reason she could tell that you weren´t bluffing, that there was a potential for danger in you. a sense of guilt washed over her as she thought of you like that, like a temptress of some sort, you weren´t doing anything wrong, it was her own issue that she couldn´t get her mind out of the gutter, she knew this, but it was hard, for so long Tess had spent her days in a dull haze of boredom and apathy, so any hint of euphoria and excitement pulled her closer like a moth to flame, and as much as she told herself that she´d get burned if she wasn´t careful, she couldn´t deny that part of her wanted the pain, the ache of doing something wrong. for a second, as she kept driving, the sign, your necklace, the imagery of transgression and possible punishment for it felt like an ominous warning from some higher power, like something was telling her you´re going into dangerous territory, you´re losing sight of what´s right. you´re gonna reach a point of no return if you go down this road.

thankfully there was enough scenery around to distract herself with, so for a while you both just watched the endless stretch of land that reached til the horizon until you agreed to find a place to stop and eat a proper meal, since it was already afternoon and you´d hardly eaten more than a few snacks here and there. you were in no place to be picky so you settled on a diner that had fairly enthusiastic reviews online and to your surprise the spot where it was located was beautiful, a few stores in the middle of nowhere surrounded by lush greenery, a white church and a few houses in the distance down the road. during the meal neither of you talked much because you were truly starved, sitting there across from each other in a cherry-colored booth, switching between devouring your food and downing multiple glasses of sweet tea, since the place was relying only on a small rusty fan to get some fresh air flowing. there was something deeply carnal about that moment, your tired and slightly overheated bodies getting a sudden rush of endorphins from the generously iced drinks and salty comfort food, the thick heavy air of the day hanging around you, you were both completely reduced to your senses and the moment almost had a dreamlike quality, something out of a film.

neither of you were particularly bothered about eating in a clean manner, so you caught glimpses of the other person wiping their mouth against the back of their bare arm and it was a sight you couldn´t help but enjoy, seeing each other uninhibited in a way, watching someone indulging in a meal like that was not entirely devoid of eroticism: your lips glistening from the oil, your tongues licking up the juice that was left on them, deep breaths after particularly large bites. after you were done you both just sat there for a moment, before grinning at each other “god I needed that…” you said, running your hands through your hair while exhaling,“yeah I could tell”, she teased, you shoved her arm then “um excuse me, you also didn´t hold back there, miss”, she suppressed a grin and leaned back, closing her eyes for a moment, soaking up the last few moments of doing nothing before continuing the drive.

she told you that you could go wait outside if you wanted, after she got you to quit offering to pay and pushed you towards the door as she went to get the bill, so you stepped outside and took a look around, your attention immediately caught by a patch of wildflowers nearby. once you knelt down to run your fingers through the grass, admiring them from up close, you felt compelled to pick a few, so you were too lost in thought to realize when Tess came outside and approached you. she stood behind you and watched for a moment, endeared by the sight of you carefully choosing certain kinds of flowers, eventually speaking up “well isn´t that just sweet”, a clear hint of irony in there, a smugness to her expression as you turned your neck to look up at her. “oh fuck off, you don´t like flowers?”, she was standing with her hands in her back pockets, almost cocky the way she was eyeing you, “sure I do, but maybe not enough to do all that”, you turned back around then to finish the little bouquet you´d started, “or maybe you just know that your knees would give in if you tried to crouch down like this for more than a minute”, you felt a light shove to your back then, her shoe giving you a push forward that almost made you lose balance, “no I think my knees work just fine”, she said as you shook your head but secretly enjoyed it. “might wanna add some yellow to that” she said as she got down next to you and ripped a few honey colored flowers and placed them in your open palm “can´t just be blue and purple”, you smiled at her then, both of you still kneeling, “didn´t think you´d be the one to have an opinion on color palettes” you remarked as she got up again, brushing some dirt off her pants,“well, there´s a lot you don´t know about me”, you got up too then, tying the flowers together with a few pieces of grass. “I know. it´s not easy getting information out of you”, you said as you both walked to the car again, a carefree nature to the way you were skipping down the street behind her, revived from the meal, she considered it “you´ve got a point, I´m not a very open person I guess”, you smiled, “well, we still have a day, we can work on that” she laughed, “so you´re trying to fix me now?”, you looked at her from across the car as you both stood in front of your sides of it, waiting a second before getting in,“no, just trying to figure you out”, an earnestness to that statement that made Tess feel uneasy, knowing that she was on thin ice, that you could catch a glimpse of something if you looked closely enough, but again, there was also the need to let you see it, to be reckless.

you decided to aim for two more hours of driving, which would mean that you´d reach the motel around 8, leaving you about 6 more hours to get through the next day. the sun had become less blinding by then, the light more golden, the shadows longer and it made everything around you look even more picturesque, you´d forgotten just how much you environment impacted you, after months of never leaving the city you could feel your body waking up again, desperately trying to soak up all the details, all the ways you were confronted with beauty you weren´t used to.

you tried to come up with ways to pass the remaining time, eventually settling on trying to read Tess´s birth chart for her after having to convince her for 15 minutes to give you her birth time because she was skeptical about what the website might say about her, so then you just sat there picking and choosing which parts of the analysis to tell her, mostly reading the flattering parts out loud, adjectives like “determined, strong willed, pragmatic”, purposely skipping over the part that called a particular placement indicative of her being a “passionate lover, sometimes to a fault, not afraid of breaking taboos”, but taking note of it, smiling to yourself. you could tell that she was just pretending to find it silly, her expression gave away that it was nice to have you entertaining her with something lighthearted, it was comforting to her, your voice, your attempts to get her to laugh, which worked most of the time. a few times she looked over at you, the way your face was glowing in the orange light, and got hit by such a violent wave of affection that she kept the amount of times she did it limited.

just as planned you, pulled into the parking lot of the motel around 8pm, both of you a little worn out and groggy, looking forward to the comfort of a bed. the first thing that you noticed was that the whole thing was painted a bright turquoise, it had faded a little over the years, an old timey charm to it, your best guess was that it had been built sometime in the 70s; there was a relatively large swimming pool in the middle of the court, a few plastic chairs outside of the floor level rooms, some guests sitting there smoking, a neon sign glowing in the setting sun, all of it more inviting than you´d expected, nothing fancy but a place that seemed ideal for one night.

on the way inside both you and Tess pointed out certain details about the place to each other and complained about your sore muscles, groaning from the weight of your bags until you reached the reception, putting them down on the floor for a second as a young worker with a bright toothpaste-ad-smile greeted you so enthusiastically that you both needed a moment to gather your thoughts. Tess leaned on the counter as he looked at the computer to see which rooms were available, apparently you´d lucked out and came at a time where at least five were vacant, he turned to look at you again, and asked “so, is a room with two singles fine?”, which confused both of you for a second as you thought why the fuck wouldn´t that be fine? that´s exactly what we´re looking for?.

but then it dawned on you: you absolutely did not look like mother and daughter. he was trying to signal to you that he wouldn´t mind if you wanted a room with a double bed instead, he was saying that he wouldn´t be shocked by you two being a couple. as you realized this you turned your head away for a moment, stifling a laugh, while Tess was gripped by a white hot panic and quickly told him “yes that´s perfect! thank you!”, in an uncharacteristically high pitched tone. it was hilarious to you but not to her, you watched her face as he slid the keys to your room over the reception counter and wished you a good night, telling you to come back if anything wasn´t to your liking, Tess just walked away without answering, so you gave him a very polite “thank you so much!”. you could hear Tess muttering “Jesus Christ.” under her breath as she led the way down the hallway, clearly still unsettled by the previous exchange , which contrasted your own reaction, the delicious thrill you got out of it, that a stranger didn´t think it impossible for you to belong together.

once Tess opened the door you both tentatively walked in, gauging the state of the room but there was nothing to complain about; the beds were both big enough to fit two, the sheets had quilted throw blankets over them with a rustic flower print, the walls were all wood paneled, the floor carpeted the same way it had been in the lobby, an old tv and an armchair pushed against the wall facing the beds, to others it might have looked like a room where people went to get killed in slasher flicks but you both liked the feeling of back transported back in time, the dusty smell, the muted color palette, it was more soothing to you than a brand new, sterile room.

“which one?” Tess asked, pointing at the beds, giving you a choice, so you picked the one next to the bathroom door, flinging yourself down onto it face first in a dramatic fashion, arms spread out, legs dangling over the edge, she smiled, setting down her stuff next to her bed, near the door that opened to a little terrace near the pool, since you were located on the ground floor. she pushed it open a little to let some fresh air in and got some clothes out of her bag, “I need a shower” she announced, “yeah me too. but you go first” you said, still laying there, the exhaustion of the day catching up with you.

as you heard the water of the shower turning on you tried your best not to imagine how she´d undressed, how she would look getting into the shower, how her eyes would close once the hot stream hit her face, you tried not to imagine how her back would look with water drops run down her spine, you tried not to imagine her whole body flushing from the heat, you tried but failed, so instead of just laying there you found ways to occupy your mind with other things: unpacking, taking your shoes off, taking a look outside the window, stepping onto the terrace for a moment, still, the sound of the shower kept forcing images into your mind that made you feel defenseless and exposed in your longing.

after about ten minutes Tess stepped out of the bathroom and found you sitting on your bed, scrolling on your phone, until you looked up and had to mask your feeling of awe, she looked even more attractive to you then than before; her hair had gotten a little damp and fell down her face in beautiful waves, her face looked youthful and glowy, she´d gotten dressed in shorts that were cut off right above the knee and a white tank top, since the heat had gotten more intense and humid the further south you´d traveled that day, and to make things worse the scent of her shower gel was streaming in through the bathroom door and it was an intoxicating mix of something creamy and musky, you breathed in deeply, feeling a tingling sensation all over your skin.

she caught something in your look even though you were subtle, but she let it go, interrupting your thoughts “so, what should we do once you´re done freshening up?” you considered it, putting your phone down as she also went to go sit on her bed, “we should get a drink” you decided, “I mean, there´s that bar right across the street and I doubt there´s much else to do around here”, she looked at you then, “I don´t know if your dad would love the idea of me buying you drinks”, you wanted her to forget about him, about the sense of responsibility that she felt weighing on her, so you were insistent, “well he isn´t here, is he?...” a distinct sense of urgency to the way you said it, she could tell you weren´t happy about her bringing him up, and she could take a wild guess as to why. Tess couldn´t really argue with your logic and besides she liked the idea of unwinding like that after driving all day so she nodded, “alright. one drink”, “two” you responded, a grin, she laughed then “so, we´re negotiating now, are we?”.

the shower woke you up and revived your spirits, you stepped out feeling ready to move around and talk again and as you walked back into the room Tess had thoughts that weren't dissimilar to the ones you´d had about her before, but she was better at hiding it, a brief look was all she allowed herself before she turned her attention back to collecting the keys and her wallet before waving you out of the door before her, forcing her gaze to remain cast to the floor until you weren´t in close proximity anymore, she knew looking at your neck from up close would have been a bad idea.

the sky had turned a muted light blue, sunset was approaching, and you could both feel the eyes of a few other guests who were hanging around by the pool following you as you made your way towards the street, you could tell that it wasn´t judgment but something like intrigue, both you and Tess realized that you made a rather striking duo, which gave you a boost of confidence, or maybe even cockiness, as you left the motel behind and approached your destination. the bar had a distinctly timeless look, it was the archetype of an american bar, a flag waving in the wind, about four different neon signs buzzing in the windows, the image of a blonde woman in leather gear on a bike spray painted onto one of the walls, lettering beneath that read “ride or die”, a few trucks and bikes parked nearby, a few metal trash cans and a bench near the back exit. “ever been to a place like this?” Tess asked as she held the door open for you, “no never” you said, “well, i´ve seen much worse, i think this should be fine” she mused as she followed you in.

the room was spacious, there were about ten booths in a row alongside the wall to your right, a bar and a line of chairs all the way down the counter in your direct line of sight, a few pool tables and something that looked like a jukebox further back, a few different sources of light including multiple red lamps that gave the room a slightly sleazy feel. “what are you drinking?” you asked as you both approached the bar where two couples were talking to the bartender who all seemed to know each other, “hm, I doubt we´ll have much of a menu to pick from” you nodded, “right. how about you order for us, I´ll have what you´re having i am not picky”, you didn´t feel like awkwardly standing there next to her while waiting to be served so you went to choose a table, settling on a booth towards the back of the room, and from where you were sitting you could see Tess talking to the bartender, he was around her age and very obviously took a liking to her, he laughed a lot while she was talking, almost an obnoxious amount, keeping his eyes on her as he poured the drinks, seemingly starved for some pleasant chatting, and you couldn´t really blame him for being easily charmed by her because you were in the same place.

after a few minutes she set two glasses down on the table and sat down opposite you, “okay, he was going on and on about how he makes the best old fashioned around, something about a special ingredient, so here you go”. you took one of the glasses and had a sip, nodding as you set it down again “not bad, but then again I am fairly easy to impress after the shit I´ve had to drink in college”, she smiled before drinking a good amount, “he liked you” you said while searching her face for a reaction, keeping your eyes on hers, but she didn´t seem to care much “well..good for him”, something about the way you´d said it made her suspect that you didn´t love the idea of other people hitting on her, which was an endearing thought, you getting a little possessive even though you hadn´t even spent a full day together.

you both enjoyed the sensation of the cool glasses in your hands, soaking up the atmosphere, a vaguely familiar song playing over the speakers, the faint smell of cigarettes and old leather seats that wasn´t entirely unpleasant, you could both imagine people who lived nearby spending their nights there after a hard day at work, letting go of whatever was going on outside, because it kind of applied to you too. as you traced the rim of the glass with your index finger, spaced out, you could feel all the stress from the months before trying to leave your body at once, a deep exhale as you realized how far away from everything you were all of a sudden. Tess was leaning her head on her hand, watching you intently, a smile forming as she could basically see the thoughts swirling around in your head, “wanna tell me what you´re thinking, or no?”, she was being gentle with it, trying to coax you out of your shell instead of demanding answers, you came back to the present moment then and met her eyes, debating whether or not to tell her, but it felt good to be offered a space to express your deeper feelings, so you took another sip before asking, “can I be honest for a second?”, she nodded, “you can also do it for more than a second”, putting her arms on the table then, sitting upright, signaling that you had her full attention. “alright, well. I usually don´t really like to talk about this stuff with people because they either panic or give me pity, but I have a sense you won´t, so if I am being real with you, the past few months weren´t great. the whole second semester honestly, it all felt.. empty in a way? if that´s the right word. I did my work and went to class and whatever but other than that I didn´t do much at all, just didn´t feel like it. last year a friend of mine who was a grade above me graduated and since then I´ve kind of just been.. floating I guess. nothing really excites me, and it sounds ungrateful maybe, but I wish there was more to my life. there is this constant feeling of “is this all?”. I don´t know if that makes sense but yeah.. I am kind of glad I´m on a break now, it was about time. today was honestly the first good day I´ve had in a while…”.

Tess was´t exactly shocked, it wasn´t anything too out of the ordinary, but still, she did feel affected by the idea of you struggling with your frustrations on your own, she could see the way you were holding yourself as you spoke about it, your shoulders hunched, your eyes less bright than before, your hands nervously fidgeting with the orange peel in your drink. she leaned back as she spoke, partly to fight off the urge to reach out and touch you, your hand, your cheek, “no I get that, that feeling of wishing things were more exciting. you know, this might be a good moment to mention that I was a student advisor for a while in my early 30s”, that caught you off guard, “really??” a hint of a smile on your face as you processed the information, the image of her talking to people your age about their issues flashing in your mind. she nodded, “hmm, by far not the worst job I had”, you leaned forward then, your hands folded, your head resting on them, “well, advise me then” you said, a slightly flirtatious undertone that didn´t escape her.

she thought for a second, “you know, I think what you said applies to about every other person your age. this might not be the encouragement you´re looking for but I think your 20s are kind of meant to be a shit show. mine sure as hell were, and I would honestly be more disturbed if you told me that everything´s perfect. I mean within reason of course, there are things that require intervention, but I doubt you´re the type to actually fall off, you´ll be fine trust me. you´re not the kind of person I´d have been worried about back then”, it worked. her honesty and lack of sentimentality about the whole thing made you feel much better than any bullshit “just change your mindset, just think positively! practice gratitude!” response ever could have. she was refreshingly calm, there was an ease about her that was comforting to be around, that was helping you relax, usually you felt like you had to shoulder everything on your own but around her it felt natural, to let yourself be more vulnerable for once.

“you´re good at this” you said, grinning as you felt your worries fading, the enthusiasm about being with her taking over again, and it pleased her, seeing her effect, she downed the rest of her drink and smiled after putting the glass down “I try”, a moment of silence before she added “but you´re okay right now, yeah?” making sure, and you wanted her to know that you were genuinely enjoying your time with her, so you quickly said “oh yeah, as I said today was really nice. I guess this would be a good time to say thank you, for doing all of this” Tess was still horrible at accepting praise “oh no need to thank me, you´re good company, the time flew by” the first explicit acknowledgement of her affection towards you, which made your face glow a little then.

“I can listen too by the way, anything you wanna get off your chest?”, you offered, watching her getting more comfortable, crossing one leg over the other, “I mean, not really, but ask away if there´s anything you´re dying to know” she answered, challenging you in a way, the ball was in your court, and for a moment you considered asking something innocuous, but you thought why not just take the chance and ask what I actually want to know, so you tried to sound as casual as possible as you asked “is there someone waiting for you back home?”. she didn´t expect you to get right to the point but she respected it in a way, that you weren´t wasting time with boring questions, “do you think I´d be using my vacation days to go visit your father if there was someone in my life?” you shrugged, “I don´t know”, she shook her head, “no, I mean bless him but my friendship has its limits” you smiled, the relief of her not being taken a little too visible in your expression, “okay. so what do you do in your free time then, if nobody´s around to keep you busy”.

“hm. I don´t know, there´s not much to boast of, I am honestly pretty boring. middle age will do that to you”, you laughed then, “oh come on, I don´t believe that! I think you just don´t wanna tell me anything. but then again, makes sense that you don´t have much personal drama going on, I doubt anyone would try to mess with you”, she squinted her eyes at you, “what´s that supposed to mean?”, “well, you give off a very strong don´t fuck with me vibe”, she laughed too then, “okay I´ll try to take that as a compliment”, “it was meant as one. I mean I benefited from it the whole day, didn´t worry once about some freak coming up to me because i knew you´d take care of it”, that did make her feel satisfied then, to know that you felt safe in her shadow, “good. but I guess it does also scare people off sometimes” you could read in her expression that she might sometimes wish that she was softer, more inviting, “not the right ones” you responded a little too quickly, weight to the words, a seriousness. she looked at you and something passed between you, about ten seconds of you just wordlessly sitting there, thinking similar things, unwilling to say any of them, but you didn´t have to, over the day you´d both gotten good at filling in the other´s silences, reading certain looks. the mix of it being rather late, both feeling a slight buzz from the drink, the dim warm light, the feeling of almost having broken down the barrier between you all the way, the intimacy of sitting there like that, it could have led to something then, if you hadn´t caught yourself staring at her way too softly and forced yourself to look somewhere else before it was too late, Tess clearing her throat and adjusting her hair to distract herself from what had just happened between you.

your gaze landed on the pool tables behind you, “do you know how to play?” you asked, changing the subject, “sure, I mean it´s been ages but I believe the muscle memory´s still there”.

“I´ve never played it”, she was a little stunned then “never?? damn what are young people doing these days”, you shrugged, “guess we are too busy vaping and being on our phones”, a dramatic delivery, she didn´t give you a laugh but a look that said okay, very funny. “I mean, you could try right now”, you were almost a little shy then, she could tell and it was amusing to her, “oh come on, it´s just a stick and some balls, I think you can manage'', so you agreed “okay sure, why not. you´ll look fucking perfect next to me, so good for you I guess”, she shook her head as you both abandoned your seats and walked over, “ever heard of having fun? this isn´t gonna be an exam sweetheart”, the pet name hanging in the air and forcing a bit of color to your cheeks as you went over to one of the empty tables with her, running your hands along the old wood, the green surface, taking a good look at it as Tess excused herself for a moment, going over to the bar and promptly returning with two shot glasses in her hand, a grin on her face as she handed it to you, a carefree youthfulness to her demeanor all of a sudden, “here, drink this, loosen up a little” so you did, washing down whatever it was that she´d ordered, the burn of it making you cough for a second “jesus”. “so” she said, handing you the poll, “show me how you think you should hold it, let´s see what we´re working with here”, you tried to conjure up the images of people you´d seen playing and tried your best to mimic the pose, leaning forward.

even though you weren´t looking directly at her, you could tell she was stifling a laugh, so you shot her a glare, “oh that´s very encouraging, I told you I´ve never done this”, she stepped closer then, visibly amused by your defensiveness, “well you could have been a natural but.. guess not”.

you were standing again by that point, “are you just gonna laugh at me or give me some actual tips?”, “right, okay, so that angle won´t work, it has to be lower and your hand has to be..” she knew that verbal instructions weren´t great, but she was trying her best to avoid the inevitable: going up and touching you to adjust your technique, since she knew how horrible of an idea it was to get that close to you, how hard it would be for her to keep the very small amount of restraint she had left in her intact, when sitting across from you had already made her feel insane. looking at you standing there, your skin glowing slightly pink from the light behind you, she knew that going over and getting in your personal space was about the last thing she should do, “the angle? what the fuck do you mean” you said, clearly confused, waiting for her to be more helpful, so after another moment of hesitation she thought fuck it. I´ll just do it quickly, I won´t linger.

“do what you just did” she instructed as she approached you, so you did, still unaware of how close she´d get, you thought she´d just stand there and tell you what to change but then you could feel her presence right behind you and before you knew it she was pressed against you. the moment she touched you, any coherent thought left your mind and you were left trying to process all the physical sensations: her long hair falling down your shoulder, her face near yours, her deep voice mere inches from your ear, the front of her calves brushing against the backside of yours, and worst of all: her hand, her fingers adjusting yours, gently moving them into the correct position. suddenly, the whole room was a void to you, nothing around you registered anymore, your entire being was completely wrapped up in her impact and all of it made it nearly impossible to process what was being said.

“like this, okay?” she said as she could feel the shift in your physique, the way you seemed frozen under her, seemingly afraid but she knew it wasn´t fear, so despite what she told herself, she drew it out, staying like that for a moment too long, breathing in your scent, feeling your arm against hers, the warmth that your bodies were exchanging. for a moment she couldn´t help but savor the feeling of having that effect on you, against her better judgment she let herself feel the thrill of leaning over you like that until she came back to her senses and realized what she was doing, how her mind had made the jump to other situations where she´d be behind you like that, so to your disappointment she eventually let go. “okay, other than that I think it should be fairly easy”, and it was, for a while you both took turns, immediately making fun of the other one if they had a bad shot, silently mouthing along to the lyrics of the songs that were playing over the speakers that you recognized, a slightly awkward silence when it was a particularly romantic one.

it was a nice and back and forth because both of you could feel the other´s charged gaze whenever it was your turn, you might or might not have done certain things on purpose, like bending your neck a certain way, biting your lip, pulling your shirt down so she would have a better view of your chest, if she dared to look, which to her own frustration she did, again and again, but you weren´t any better at self control, each time it was her turn you tried your best not to gawk her at her but she looked beautiful, her arms being the focus of the game was not ideal for keeping your pull towards her at bay.

just as you were getting done with your last shot of the game, a young waitress came by to set down a drink in front of you, before you could finish the sentence “um sorry, I didn´t-”. she pointed down the room “it´s from the table over there”. you looked to where she´d directed your gaze and saw a group of three guys that seemed to be in their late 20s smiling at you a little too enthusiastically. “oh god no..” you uttered as you realized that they´d bought you the drink. they weren´t being too creepy about it but you hated the idea of having been observed without your knowledge, and you really didn´t want anyone to interrupt what you and Tess had going on, so you asked her “oh god, do you think they were watching us the entire time?” as you gave them a mild smile and looked away again, moving closer to her instinctively, “well if anything they were watching you”, she said, a mix of protectiveness and pride bubbling up in her, the former because she could tell you didn´t enjoy the attention you were getting, the latter because she thought tough luck guys, she´s more into me, which shocked her for a second, her sudden feeling of she´s mine, the way it went against everything she´d told herself about remaining detached.

you got an idea then, “let´s leave” you said, as you reached for the drink that did look pretty good. without thinking twice you started guloing it down and when Tess realized you were trying to drink the whole thing at once she nudged you in the side “hey easy there”, but you were already finished by then, setting down the glass and exhaling in a slightly pained manner, she shook her head in disbelief, “are you trying to make yourself sick??” but you just smiled at her, a flicker of mischief in your eyes, and pulled her arm to make her follow you out, “I don´t feel like being watched any longer but didn´t wanna waste it, come”, so she let you drag her out, a smile on her face as she felt your fingers wrapped around her wrist.

by that time it had gotten dark and breeze that hit you as you stepped outside made you both sigh simultaneously, the parking lot was empty, it was just you and the intense atmosphere of a night out in the country and as you started walking you could feel the buzz of the drink you´d just downed getting to your head, so without asking first you steadied yourself against her, linking arms, feeling her slowing down her walk so you wouldn´t trip. after a while you realized just how comfortable you´d gotten with her, that you were acting the way you´d act with a close friend or a date, so once you´d crossed the street together you stepped away a little self consciously, but she didn´t mind, in fact, she almost reached for you to pull you back because she really enjoyed being held onto like that, but for what felt like the hundredth time that day she kept her hands to herself, clearly worn down from the constant effort of keeping suppressing her instincts, less and less willing to keep doing it. part of her was ready to just do what was wrong already. part of her was only waiting for it, the disaster, the point of no return.

as you saw the pool that had been lit up by then, the delicious icey color that made the water look inviting, you got an idea, “let´s cool down for a second, come on!” you urged her, “you wanna get in with your clothes on?...” she asked, wondering if she was understanding you right, but that wasn´t the plan, you weren´t in the mood to shower again, “no let´s just put our legs in for a moment”, your voice giving away that you were slightly tipsy as you walked over to the edge of the pool and sat down, submerging your legs in the water until it reached up to right under your knee, the smell of chlorine weirdly nostalgic, transporting you back to carefree summer days as a kid.

“yeah this is nice, come” you said, waving her over impatiently as she still stood a few feet away, watching you, but eventually she gave in and got down next to you, consciously leaving a space about the width of a hand between your thighs.

the air was finally bearable, still warm but not too humid, it was an idyllic moment, a deep silence you never could have experienced in the city, nobody around, the feeling of the gentle waves against your shins, it lent itself to introspection so for a moment you both just watched your legs as you moved them around a bit, accidentally touching underwater a few times but acting like nothing had happened. eventually you broke the silence, “kind of a shame that we´re gonna be home tomorrow already. I´m having fun”, of course Tess felt the same way but she wasn´t just gonna say that, not too fast, so after waiting for an answer that wouldn´t come you joked.“you know, now would be a good moment to tell me that you feel the same way”, which made her laugh, “I do, of course. this has been nice”, you turned to her then, “well that didn´t sound very enthusiastic, you can do better”, she smiled and turned to face you, “what do you want me to say, hm?” , you leaned closer then, a dramatic tone as you said “oh I don´t know, maybe that you´re obsessed with me, that you´re having the time of your life, that you wanna spend weeks and weeks with me, that I am the best traveling partner you´ve ever had”.

she couldn´t believe how bold you were being, fixing you with a questioning look, “okay you´re drunk, aren´t you?”, you shook your head, protesting, “no”, “okay got it, you want me to blow up your ego a little, huh?”, she tried her best to divert attention from the fact that your exaggerated remarks weren´t too far off from what she actually felt about you. you shrugged, “sure yeah”, clearly wanting something else from her, she shook her head, “you´re not what I expected at all”, “right, let me guess, my dad advertised me as his perfect little angel baby” she grinned then, realizing that you knew exactly how he talked in your absence, “sort of yeah”, “do you wish I was more like that?”, you asked, she cocked her head then, giving a look that said, of course not, “no. would´ve been pretty lame”, you were pleased by that answer and leaned back, your back against the stone floor with your legs still dangling in the water, “oh damn” you said, as you saw the dazzling night sky, the lack of light pollution making it a thousand times more visible than you were used to, “look!” you told her, pointing up, so she tiled her head, “oh wow, that´s fucking beautiful.”, Tess couldn´t remember the last time she´d bothered to look up at the night sky and it struck her then that the whole day you´d succeeded in making her wake up to the world around her again, Tess wasn´t used to sudden rushes of excitement and joy anymore, she´d given up on that a long time ago, but there you were, again, waking parts of her up that had been dormant for a while, a genuine warm smile on her face that others in her life very rarely got to see.

laying down you closed your eyes, stretching your arms out and feeling your chest rising and falling as you took slow deep breaths. Tess remained sitting upright, for a second she also closed her eyes, but then she glanced down at you, your peaceful expression, and thought if she was my girlfriend I´d lean down and kiss her right now, just to see her reaction, she could visualize it perfectly, an initial moment of surprise followed by you smiling against her lips, she knew she couldn´t do it, but she thought of another way to get your attention back, so after about a minute of drifting off into a state of deep relaxation you were startled out of it by the sudden feeling of water hitting your face, cold drops splattered all over your cheeks and forehead.

you opened your eyes and shot up while muttering “what the fuck??”, and the moment you laid eyes on Tess, her smug grin, you realized what had happened, “just making sure you´re not falling asleep there” she said, eyeing you, clearly amused by your reaction, so you got the sudden urge to do something to her too, thinking I´ll push her in, but she was too fast, she saw the thought forming, so the moment you lunged forward and tried to force her into the pool she grabbed your shoulders to push you back, which left you two in a struggle for power, one that she was clearly winning, her grip way too strong. you tried to muster up some force but you were clearly weaker than her, and something about it was thrilling, the proof of her strength, and it registered, she could tell that you took some sort of pleasure out of being handled like that, so neither of you let go, your faces barely a few inches apart as your fingers dug into the other person´s skin, you kept staring at each other and all of a sudden something like fear flickered through both of your eyes, because you felt it like electric currents, the rising tension between your bodies, the heat; she caught you looking back and forth between her lips and eyes, you saw her leaning forward a little and eventually you could feel each other´s breath as your touch slowly turned form forceful to gentle, your muscles not flexed anymore but you hands still where you´d grabbed each other. you almost pushed yourself to close the remaining distance then, you were so close, but then a door slammed shut nearby and abruptly shocked you both into letting go of each other, coughing nervously, adjusting your clothes, listening to the footsteps of the person who had just walked out until they were gone.

Tess was the first to get up, mumbling something along the lines of “yeah uh, it´s late let´s go inside”, while you kept sitting there for a beat longer, cursing the person who had walked out because you knew you wouldn´t just get a chance like that again, you could tell she was spooked, so if anything were to happen, you´d have to initiate it, you knew this and it frustrated you. once you walked inside the room you saw her rooting around in her back, neither of you knew how to continue after all that, so she took the easy way out, announcing “I´ll go get ready, brush my teeth get changed all that”, you just nodded, a quiet “okay” as she left you standing there.

the moment that Tess shut the door behind herself she leaned back against it and put her hands over her face, breathing out like she´d just run a marathon, her heart still beating out of her chest, she was near paranoia at that point, wondering whether the timing of you being interrupted right at that moment was some final warning from a higher power, giving her one last chance to stop, to control herself.

she knew she should have been grateful to get that chance, but she wasn´t, deep down she wished that things would have played out the way she wanted them to, the feeling of your breath against her lips was still burning on her skin and it was not going to stop until she´d feel it again, until she´d get to give you what you so clearly wanted from her. in an attempt to calm down she stepped towards the sink and splashed cold water on her face before changing into a loose tshirt and shorts with fabric thin enough to be bearable during summer nights. once she had nothing else to do in there she was dreading going back into the room because she had no idea what you´d do, what she´d do. it felt like she was walking into a trap: you and her in one room for the entire night.

while she was going through all that you were trying to busy yourself, turning on the bedside lamps, shutting the curtains, eventually just sitting down and pretending to be busy on your phone until she walked back in again. you knew that was your cue to do what she´d just done so you said “yeah I´ll get ready too”, leaving her some space. you were quicker than her in there and less panicked, if anything you were frustrated because you were still so worked up from the image of her almost leaning in to kiss you, the thrill of that anticipation, and it made you feel determined then, staring at yourself in the mirror as you thought to yourself you´re gonna have to do it because she won´t. go back out there and finish what you started. she wants you to. so after a while you mustered up a good amount of confidence before walking back out again.

what Tess did not realize was that she´d made a grave mistake by turning on the TV because with that she had given you the perfect excuse to sit down next to her, since her bed was the one directly facing it. if she´d just sat there reading a book or laying down, you would have had a much harder time finding a casual way to get close to her again, but the moment you saw that opening, you used it, walking over to her side of the room without even asking her if you could join her and sitting down on the right side of the bed, your back against the big pillow, your legs stretched out. she didn´t acknowledge it, she didn´t look at you or say anything, there was a clear effort on her part of acting chill but you could practically hear her blood rushing. sitting there, gauging the situation, you knew you´d have to be shameless because she wasn´t moving an inch, you´d have to break her, hit her weak spots, so in a first attempt to do that you moved your leg so it would touch hers, your knees making contact, she didn´t pull away but she also didn´t react, so you waited, your breath starting to get more shallow as you felt her skin against yours. Tess was frozen up because her mind was saying push her away, tell her to leave, make her go to her own bed but her instincts told her differently, so you went further, laying your hand on her leg, which sent a shock through her whole body and made her shake her head, finally speaking, her voice barely above a whisper, “we can´t…”, almost pleading with you then, which made you turn to her, waiting for her to look at you but she wouldn´t, so you stopped being subtle.

after a moment of mustering up all of your courage, you got up and moved on top of her in one swift motion, your legs on either side of hers then, straddling her, trapping her, Tess´s hands were gripping the sheets to keep herself from touching you as you got comfortable and put your hands on her shoulder, staring at her with a fire in your eyes while she shut hers from the overwhelming sensation. “we really shouldn´t be doing this..” she said but you shut her up by leaning close to her neck, breathing against her skin, “I won´t tell a soul, I promise, I swear on my life”, you could feel her shuddering under you, so you made it even worse, moving your hand to hold her cheek as you whispered to her, “please Tess. please..” drawing out the words, a neediness in your voice that hit her right at her core. begging was the thing that always got her to her knees, so her will was completely broken by then. the feeling of your weight on top of her, your bare legs pressed against hers, your scent that awoke a visceral hunger in her, your relentless pursuit, all of it was driving her completely insane and the decision was already made, she was just drawing out the last few seconds where she could consider herself guiltless. the moment she heard you whining the word “please” again, no part of her was hesitant anymore; she let go of the sheets and grabbed your face to pull you down into a kiss.

you both kept your lips pressed against each other for a moment, prolonging the intense thrill of that first contact, before pulling back and kissing again, and again, and again, an erratic nature to it, her hands in your hair by then, and the most freeing thing about the moment was that neither of you tried to conceal your violent desperation because you could tell you were together in the feeling, you didn´t even try to stay quiet, moaning into each other´s mouths whenever you separated for a second, the sounds lower and mure guttural whenever they were trapped inside of you, a constant shifting of you on top of her, your hands on her chest to steady yourself as she pulled your face close, the kissing turning slower and sloppier the more time passed; the moment you felt her tongue against yours you were a mess and she could tell, you were moving against her thigh, not aggressively but there was a clear rocking of your hips and it turned her on even more, to feel you using her as she felt your tongue in her mouth, an almost perverse nature to how you were going about it then, sucking each others lips, licking over each other´s mouths, while you felt only the thin fabric of your shorts separating the ache between your legs from the muscle of her leg, which you were using to create friction, but Tess couldn´t just stay under you, she craved more, so eventually she put her strength to good use, pushing you to the space next to her on the bed and pulling your top over your head, throwing it to the floor and immediately grabbing your tits after, staring down at you in awe as you moaned from the sensation, “you´re so fucking pretty..” her voice even lower than usual, getting you even mor worked up.

she bent down to kiss your neck as she grabbed your hands to keep them at your sides, your fingers interlaced as she savored the feeling and scent of your skin, you could feel it with every kiss, how much she wanted you, how she was keeping herself from biting your flesh because she wanted to taste you that badly, it was turning your sounds even more desperate, the burn of her kisses all over your neck and throat as she moved down and let go of your hands to squeeze one of your tits as she ran her tongue over the other one, your hands on her back then, moving under the shirt that she still had on, scratching her a little as your nails dug in with the effort to hold on as she had her way sucking on the heavenly soft skin of your chest, surely leaving a few marks, switching between kissing and licking, fully lost in a haze of pure lust by then, there was no shame, nothing holding her back from taking what she wanted, from giving what you needed, in that moment you felt more present in your body than ever before, every breath left you feeling more alive, you could feel each of her fingertips leaving a deep impact where they rested on your body, you felt warm all over, not the usual kind of warm but the kind that spreads from your core out into every part of you, a visceral warmth, it was a type of arousal you weren´t familiar with, and she could tell, she was also lost in her need but she was more experienced, so she knew she´d have to take care of you right, which she was doing, you were blissed out by the feeling of her on top of you, her unrestrained claiming of your body as you pulled her shirt up and begged “please, I wanna feel you”, which made her undress too then.

the moment she was topless you grabbed her face and pulled her down to feel her chest to chest, giving her a deep kiss as you felt her tits pressed against yours, a sensation that felt divine while making out, so for a moment you stayed like that, flush against each other as you continued the needy slow kissing from before, this is what it is supposed to feel like you thought because you knew you could do just that for hours and hours and still want more, you could feel her long hair falling down the sides of your face as you kissed and you loved that one feminine part of her, you´d admired her all day so in that moment it felt like a dream to get to feel her all over you like that, after a while she became impatient, she needed more, she wanted to please you as intensely as possible, so she moved down and helped you out of your shorts, leaving you exposed, her hands running over your thighs while admiring you, but before she could touch you the way she wanted to, you grabbed one of her hands and moved it to your face, your tongue running over her fingers before she went along with what you were doing and put her fingers in your mouth, your lips closing around them to suck on them, coating them in your spit, which was enough to almost make her black out then, her breathing all kinds of fucked up, interrupted by a moan, as you got lost in the sensation of having her in your mouth like that, a distinctly perverse feel to it that thrilled you both, “you´re a good girl, hm”, she breathed as you let go and made eye contact with her, which she held as she moved her hand between your legs to finally feel how wet you´d gotten, an involuntary “fuck..” as she felt your slick heat, you were soaked and she was getting off on it, the proof of your need for her.

at first she just moved her fingers between your aroused lips to savor the warm velvety feeling, the absolute mess that she was responsible for, a distinct whining sound from you as she did it, “you feel fucking perfect” she assured you, sensing that you needed more, she was careful then, watching your face closely as she moved up a bit, looking down at you as she pushed her middle and ring finger inside of you, a slight gasp from you, “okay?” she made sure, “yes, yes” you urged, a breathless tone, as you felt the initial burn subsiding, replaced by the pleasure of feeling her knuckle deep inside of you, she let you breathe through it for a moment before moving her fingers again, her free hand on the side of your face, which you leaned into as she fucked you the way she´d been dying to, the rythm slow and intense, a secure skilled nature to her movements, she knew what she was doing, she knew how to get you to lose yourself, fully, you felt an intense throbbing and pleasurable ache at your core, it spread through your whole body as you let out soft cries from the sensation, your hips moving up to meet her hand, she could have stared at you like that forever, the way your face twisted when she hit a certain spot, the control she had over your whole being in that moment, the needy whines that left your lips that made her unbearably soft for you, “you´re okay baby, I got you”, the baby slipped out, she usually never said it to hookups but you were different, she felt a deep affection for you, it made your lose your mind even more to hear her call you that while she was fucking you just right, her arm was strong so she wasn´t going to cramp up, a relentless pressure on the spot inside of you that was making you unravel, “fuck just like that don´t stop please” you uttered in a breathless tone, begging her to finish you off, your nails digging into her back as she leaned down and felt you struggling to kiss her back as she kept her fingers inside of you to angle them just right and push until you couldn´t handle it anymore, her own moans getting louder again as she felt your walls clenching around her fingers, your body exhausting itself with pleasure, “you´re close hm?” she cooed down at you, a weak nod as your head fell back against the pillow, your hair all messed up by that point, “you can cum sweetie, come on, show me how pretty you look”, her words were the final push you needed to surrender to the feeling that you were still trying to keep inside, but it was over, one more deliberate hard push from her fingers and you felt every single muscle inside of you tensing up, you´d had orgasms before but not like that, it was fully body, hot and close to a spiritual experience, your mind silenced by the intensity of your physical experience, she was completely in awe, staring at you, her free hand flat on your chest as she slowed down but didn´t stop yet, giving you a moment to ride out your high on her hand, eventually pulling her fingers out and hearing a whine as she did it, the sudden emptiness almost painful for a second. Tess left you a moment to breathe, to lay there, spent and flushed and still unable to think, savoring the aftershocks of the climax, the soreness that felt good, the little pains of sex that made it clear you´d had a good time.

after a minute she caressed you, your stomach, your hips, drawing patterns with her finger as she asked “I wanna taste you so bad.. can I?”, you still sounded shaky as you nodded and said, “yes, I´ll be a fucking mess though”, she grinned as she grabbed your thighs and pushed them apart to get between them, “good, it suits you”, so you braced yourself for a good amount of over stimulation as she started kissing your inner thighs, biting down as she got further up because she knew nobody would see the indents her teeth left except you, she could tell that you were still weak so she held your legs in place with a firm grip as she got her face where she wanted it, at first just pushing her lips up against your cunt to coat them in your juices, before using her tongue to lick it all up, a filthiness that she loved, a hum of pleasure as she held you in place and licked all over your core in broad sloppy strokes, “fuck Tess” you whined, because you could tell you were gonna cum again if she didn´t stop, you were still raw and sensitive from before so it didn´t take much, her fingers dug into your flesh to keep you from moving away from her face as you failed miserably at keeping quiet as she sucked on your clit and made you finish against her lips, not as hard as before but still intensely, you were emptied of any strength by then, slack against the sheets as she also tried to catch her breath, wiping her mouth before moving to the empty space next to you and laying down too.

for a moment it was perfect, she was still high on the feeling of you all over her, the echo of your sounds fresh in her mind, your taste still all over her lips, but as her heart rate slowed down and her thoughts became clearer again the reality of her situation came crashing over her; she looked at you, the proof of what she´d done written all over your naked body, your face, and felt like the walls were gonna close in on her, so she got up, giving your leg a pat as she said “uh I need to-” stopping for a moment to breathe properly “I´ve gotta get some fresh air, I´ll be back in a second”. Tess picked her shirt up from the floor, pulled it over her head and walked outside. you could guess why she was acting that way, what she was thinking, so you decided to give her some space before going after her.

as you laid there on your own, you knew you should have maybe felt a bit of remorse but you didn´t, at all, you smiled to yourself as you waited for you limbs to get less shaky and eventually got up, looking down at the red splotches that she´d left on your chest, on your thighs, tracing them with your finger before getting dressed and following her outside.

once you walked out the cool night air hit your face and you saw her sitting at the table right next to your door, occupying one of the two plastic chairs, so you quietly approached and sat down opposite her, eyeing her as her gaze remained cast to the floor, her fingers tapping on the table, a nervous habit. you observed her for a moment before asking, “hey, you okay?” in a gentle tone, she still didn´t meet your eyes as she answered, “yeah I don´t know what the fuck is wrong with me. I really shouldn´t have done that”, you could tell that she was genuinely beating herself up so you said, “well, I initiated so-” but she shook her head and looked up at you then, “still, I should know better. I am responsible here”, you titled your head then, “Tess you know we are both grown right? you did nothing wrong”, she kept looking at you, her tone lower then, “he´d fucking kill me for this.” she said, plainly, a hint of fear in there, you knew of course who the “he” in question was, and it pissed you off, “he doesn´t own me.”.

that surprised her, the seriousness and slight hint of anger with which you said that, it was not what she´d expected and you had more to say on the matter once you saw that you had her attention. “you know” you started, crossing your legs and leaning back, “I spent so much time of my life catering to other people´s needs, I went through some pretty horrible times without ever expecting much help or understanding, supporting others through their shit while I was also taking care of myself, so I think I deserve to go after what I want for once without crucifying myself for it. I have considered everyone else´s feelings often enough, I think it´s about time I look out for my own needs too. and I don´t wanna speak for you, but you also strike me as the type to deny yourself joy for some reason, some self-punishment thing maybe, I can tell because I have done that myself. so I mean this when I say it: we have nothing to feel bad for. this is our business, nobody else´s. and I for one wont apologize for being happy right now, because I am” she processed it, that impressive monolgue, your passionate plea for self determination, Tess cracked a smile then “damn. you´re pretty fucking wise” you shrugged, echoing what she´d said to you earlier, “I try” a pause then as she relaxed and felt the darker feelings leaving her system, replaced by the immense excitement she´d felt before, “you´re not a bad person and this doesn´t change that” you said, “okay?”, she nodded, trying to believe you which was made easier by your confidence, “okay.”.

Tess realized then that she´d messed up by just leaving you there right after doing all that to you, she regretted it, that her conscience had gotten to her and that she´d missed out on the chance to hold you and lay there together, so she looked at you, endeared by the loving gaze you were watching her with and waved your over “come here” she said, smiling warmly, patting her lap, so you got up and walked over, hesitating a moment once you stood in front of her, so she pulled you down and wrapped her arms around your back to hold you in place, “you should know by now that I am strong enough to handle you”, you put your arms around her neck and smiled back at her, feeling her move one of her hands to your thigh, squeezing gently as you stared into each others eyes. “I´m sorry, I shouldn´t have left you there”, “oh it´s fine really, I can only think about what you did before that anyway” you said, running your fingers through her hair then and she looked all blissed out in that moment, she loved having you sitting on her, holding you close while you were being tender with her, “you´re so beautiful.” she said, an emotional tone, you could tell that she really meant it, so you leaned down to kiss her, a soft and romantic one, it was a dreamy moment, you were alone out there, an ideal temperature by that point, not cold but fresh, the sky still sparkling with stars, you both felt nothing but gratitude then, to be ending your day like that.

you laughed then as you pulled back from the kiss, “god. I like you so fucking much. I don´t know what´s happening to me” which made her blush, “yeah me neither. I think I was close to passing out when you got on top of me” it came back to her in that moment, “oh yeah?” you liked hearing her talking about how she´d felt in that moment, she grinned, her hand caressing your thigh as she spoke “yeah, you got me good.”, “well you did too. but you know that, I wasn´t being very subtle about it…” you said, recalling how utterly desperate you´d sounded all throughout the act, “no need to be embarrassed, you sound hot”, you were the one blushing then, “stop” you said, looking away from her for a moment, “oh don´t act shy now, I know you´re not”, she teased, and she was right, with her you weren´t. you rested your head on her shoulder for a moment as she kept her arms wrapped tightly around your waist, before you both felt your limbs going numb, “okay, we should probably get some sleep”, Tess said, so you both walked back inside, not giving a fuck at all if anyone had seen you doing all that out there.

once you were back inside she could see you stopping in front of her bed, eyeing it like you were about to get in, “no, come on, we already did enough” she said while giving your back a light shove to move you away, “I won´t do anything, I´ll just lay there and sleep!”, you insisted, all sweet and innocent sounding, “I don´t believe you for a second” she responded, so you sulked a little as you walked over to your own bed and pulled up the blanket to get in.

“okay, have it your way. but you´re missing out” you told her from across the room as she smiled to herself, “I´m sure I am”. you both got comfortable and turned to face each other, resting on your pillows, arms over the blankets because it was too warm otherwise, your expression almost sad then, “oh don´t look at me like that” she pleaded, knowing that it would be a horrible idea to give into your wish, to allow intimacy like sleeping next to each other, she was already way too attached. you kept thinking about how you were dying to be held by her again and it was visible all over your face, so after a moment of silence and her staring at you, unable to free herself of the urge to reach out, she couldn´t deny you any longer, “alright, get over here”, which she didn´t have to say twice; it took about one second for you to hurry over and crawl under the covers that she was holding up for you, gesturing for you to get in.

the moment you laid your head on her chest, she put her arm around your back to pull you closer, her other hand finding its way to your hair, gently running her fingers through it as you made a humming sound of pleasure, “better?”, she asked, a rhetorical question, “much better, and I know you agree” you said, a satisfied smile as you closed your eyes and relaxed into her. “can´t remember the last time I shared a bed with someone” you confessed, a moment of spontaneous honesty, “me neither” she felt like putting her cards on the table too, which was new, she´d hardly shared anything about her love life with you before but she wanted to make it clear that she was not used to it, being that close to someone. the moment was soft, quiet and sacred almost, after a long day of trying to figure each other out, trying to hold it all in, it was such a relief to have it all out in the open, laying there in each other´s arms, tired and content and aware that it was no small thing for either of you, to trust someone, to be vulnerable like that, after having gotten used to being on your own. your hand slid under her shirt and rested on her stomach as you both started getting drowsy and drifted off to sleep after you said a quiet “good night. sweet dreams” to each other.

later that night you separated in your sleep, sprawled out on either side of the bed, legs and arms only half covered by the blanket, a deep peaceful sleep, which Tess only woke up from once, immediately putting her hand on your arm to feel your presence next to her while falling back asleep again.

around 7 am Tess couldn´t sleep anymore because she usually got up around that time at home, so for a while she just laid there, enjoying the serenity of the early morning, the feeling of your body so close, until she became restless and quietly got up, careful not to wake you. she cracked the door open to let some fresh air in, stepping out to look at the cloudless sky, watching a few people smoking and drinking coffee outside of their rooms. around 7:30 she was dressed and sat down in the chair in the corner of the room to read but after rereading the same paragraph about three times because she wasn´t paying attention at all, she stopped lying to herself and did what she actually wanted to do: watching you sleep.

she sat there looking at you, your peaceful expression, the way your body was twisted up in the bedsheets, your leg that was fully visible over the blanket because your shorts had hiked up during the night, your face resting on your hand as you slept on your side. it looked angelic to her, like a painting that some lovestruck artist had drawn of their girl; the way some light feel through the curtains and hit certain parts of your skin, your hair, she was trying hard to memorize every detail because she had no idea if and when she´d see you like that again. it almost made her laugh to herself then, just how deeply romantic she still was after years of not experiencing much romance at all, it didn´t matter, it was still there, her devoted nature, her desire for something all consuming and life changing. for the right person Tess was willing to bleed and ache and do the objectively wrong thing if it meant seeing them happy, seeing them well loved and healed by her affection in some way, even if it was just for a short while. nothing in the world was more important to her than feeling like she was actively making someone´s life a little easer and lighter, so seeing you in her bed, looking like you´d just gotten the best sleep of your life, it made her feel like she hadn´t done anything too unforgivable after all.

around 9 am she knew she´d have to wake you up so you could get ready without being in a hurry, so she sat down on the edge of the bed and brushed a strand of hair out of your face, traced your nose with her index finger. when that didn´t wake you up, she shook your shoulder, gently, which finally made you stir and open your eyes, squinting them at first while you tried to recall where you were. “well hello sleeping beauty. you´re not a morning person, huh?” she said, smiling down at you as you came to your senses and shook your head, your voice slightly creaky as you said “no”, blindly reaching for her and placing your hand on her thigh as you closed your eyes again, “hey come on, no, you´ve gotta get up”, she said, touching your cheek, so you forced yourself awake, stretching your limbs out as you registered that she was already dressed and ready. “wait, how long have you been up?” you asked, propping yourself up on your elbows. “hm, like two hours?”, you looked at her then, “you should have woken me up”, “why? we don´t have to leave til like 10”, you smiled at her as you sat upright then, pulling her hand towards your legs which you´d moved onto her lap, “I wanna make use of all the time we have left together”, you could see a slight blush on her cheek then.

“just woke up and already flirting with me, huh?”, “yes, in fact I am. you look hot, I like this” you said, fingering the fabric of her button up shirt that she´d pushed up to her elbows, she didn´t say anything but stared at you in a way that made it clear that she enjoyed your shameless way of speaking to her, a contrast to all the subtext the day before, so she pulled you closer to kiss your cheek, feeling your arms around her waist as she did this, her lips moving to your neck for a second, getting a few soft sighs out of you that made her feel weak, like she should do more, but she pulled away just before a mark could form, taking in the satisfied look on your face before announcing, “okay, here´s the plan. we have to check out at 10:00, so I looked up places where we could get breakfast and I found this one that looks pretty good about 5 miles away. I think you could use some coffee hm?”. you nodded, moving your legs away from her and getting up from the bed, “yes sounds good, let me get ready, I´ll be quick”.

after getting dressed you sat down at the small wooden table that had a mirror standing on it to take care of your hair and apply some skincare to your face, you could feel her eyes on your backside as you did this and it felt nice, to have someone silently observing your little morning rituals, to be witnessed by someone who clearly had a loving gaze directed at you. once you were done you joined her on her bed, “we still have 20 minutes” she said and for a moment you both just laid there, your bags packed, your room clean, nothing left to do. after a moment of comfortable silence, it hit both of you at the same time: the fact that you had no idea when you´d be together in private like that again; there was no clear answer as to when you´d share a room or a bed again, when you´d be free to do whatever you wanted again, so as you both turned to face each other, still untouched by any stress or exhaustion that the day might bring, your skin still sweatless and fresh, you both felt the need to touch each other, to do something, to use the bit of remaining time.

you´d gotten very good very fast at reading each other´s expressions, so you knew she wanted you to when you reached over and slid your hand down her shorts, as she did the same thing to you, your arms touching where they crossed, both of you moving closer together to make it easier; it was very different from the night before, there was a slow sensuality to what you were doing, an intimacy that was pure in the sense that you just wanted to quickly make the other person feel good, no need to get undressed or make it a whole thing, a moment of desire that was comfortable and soft, relaxed positions while hearing the other person sigh and move their hips a little. you reached down each other´s underwear and started doing what you usually did when you masturbated, a laziness to it that lulled you into a state of arousal that was full body, intense but not violent or overwhelming. instinctively you started mirroring what she did, gentle movements at first, faint gasps from both of you, and it became a delicious game very quickly, to feel yourself growing hotter not just from the feeling of her fingers on you but the sounds that you were getting out of her, the sensations equally thrilling. Tess was obsessed with the way your lips parted, how head fell back, the way you needily pushed yourself against her hand, the way your sighs were slowly turning into moans, she could feel herself growing wetter just from that sight, it had been a while since someone had touched her like you were in that moment, so she was sensitive, an immediate throbbing sensation at her core the moment you increased the pressure of your fingers, matching the rhythm she was using on you then, a shared feeling of if i go harder, she´ll be louder, so you ended up pushing each other towards your orgasm at the same time, you didn´t even need to tell each other that you were about to finish because you could tell, your legs touching as you moved around more, finally tensing up as you came and felt the release tingling all over your body, a brief silence after you removed your hands from each other´s underwear and laid flat on your back, satisfied by the unexpected early morning action.

eventually she got up and made a waving motion with her hand to signal to you to the same “okay, we should get going, get your stuff”, which seemed very typically Tess, following up a moment of vulnerability with a return to her stern giving orders vibe, but you didn´t mind at all, it was hot to you, her duality, the fact that she was so sweet to you but also had no problem bossing you around when she wanted to. you could still feel the heat between your legs as you moved to collect your bags and followed her out, a glow to you that was unusual, normally you looked mildly annoyed at that hour while walking to class, so it was a great contrast, to start your day on such a high.

the drive to the breakfast spot only took about fifteen minutes, which was a relief because you were both starving and in need of caffeine. you walked in ahead of Tess and were met by an older woman working there who reminded you of the women you´d grown up around, a cheerful demeanor, a thick accent and the immediate use of words like “ladies” while addressing you both, even though you definitely weren´t too ladylike, especially not Tess. it was an intriguing thing for her to see you talking to the woman as she assigned you both a table, the way you immediately slipped into a different vocabulary, the way she treated you like a sweet daughter of hers even though you were strangers.

all Tess could think in that moment was if you only knew that she just jerked me off, a smugness to it, she liked that it wasn´t obvious at all to people what you were to each other, there was something undeniably sexy about being a secret thing.

after you sat down across from each other there was a moment of silence and it was distinctly different to the kind that had hung between you the day before, it was comfortable and warm instead of apprehensive and charged, the kind that signals to onlookers oh yeah they know each other well, no awkwardness at all. after you ordered a good amount of breakfast foods to share and sat there waiting, you asked, “so, how long are you staying again?”. “two weeks. and I am so fucking glad right now that I declined your dads offer to stay at your guys´s place” she said, leaning back and crossing her arms, “well I´m not.” you said, which made her laugh.

“where are you staying then?”, you inquired, “at a friends place, she and her husband are out of town for a while, I am house sitting in a way” you pondered that, “hm right. you should give me the address”, “should I? so you can do what, come over at night?”, you shrugged, “maybe, yes, I´ll say I am going to a friends house”, “hm, I´ll think about it”, she said, but you both knew she´d tell you of course.

“do you and dad have any plans?” you asked while keeping your hands busy with a paper napkin, absentmindedly ripping small pieces off. “kind of, we´ll go visit our college town one day I think, see how it´s holding up, visit old landmarks of our youth, all that sentimental stuff. other than that not much, guess we´ll see how it plays out. and you?” she said, leaning her head on her hand then, eyeing your curiously, “what about me?”. “you know, what are you gonna do with all your free time when we´re gone”, she asked, you thought about it, “god I don´t know. relax, sleep, go to this cafe I used to basically live in when I still lived at home. oh and I think my best friend from high school is coming back in a few days, so I guess we´ll hang out a bit”, that got her attention then, for some reason she imagined some beautiful prom queen type, luscious hair a bright smile, someone striking and charismatic, “best friend?” she probed, her tone low and a question hidden in there she wouldn´t explicitly ask, which you clocked of course and found charming, her inability to hide that she was the jealous type. “yes, best friend. she´s straight. besides, even if she wasn´t, not my type”, she relaxed a little because she could tell you weren´t lying, “right, a little too young for you, hm?” a cocky grin on her face as she said this, your sudden expression of shock giving away that she´d gotten you good with that one, you shook your head, “unbelievable..”, but you weren´t really offended, it felt good to be messed with.

once the coffee and food were spread out before you, you both stopped talking as you were busy deciding what to indulge in first, you went for the waffles, she went for the pancakes that were generously topped off with chocolate chips and strawberries, a stark contrast to her usual first meal of the day which she hardly ever put much effort into. the thick syrup you poured over the waffles was running down the sides of them and pooling up so you used your finger to clean the plate, licking it off without thinking twice, but after a moment you could tell that Tess had stopped eating and just sat there looking at you, your mouth, you pretended you didn´t notice and decided to fuck with her a little, drawing it out, making it pretty obscene, the way you ran your tongue over your index finger, repeating it once you got the rest of the excess syrup off the edge of your plate; Tess was not subtle with her staring because it stirred something in her, the sight of fingers in your mouth, out of nowhere you felt a pretty hard kick to your legs under the table which made you stop and say “ouch?? what the fuck?”.

“I could ask you the same thing, we´re in public, you´re being mean” she said, “mean?” you said, raising your eyebrows, “yes, you know I can´t do shit right now”, you smiled at her then, pretending you didn´t know what she meant, “and what is it that you wanna do so badly?”, her eyes were still fixed on you, “how about you keep eating instead of giving me hell, could you do that?”, pointing at your cutlery, “sure.” you said, acting all nonchalant, drinking some of the orange juice and grabbing a strawberry from her plate as her demeanor relaxed again, “god..” she uttered under her breath as she picked up her fork again.

“oh by the way, you know you won´t get around at least one dinner with him and me right? he´ll insist”, you said,“yeah I know. should be interesting… I´ll just pretend you have an identical twin sister who is sitting at the table with us instead of you”, you laughed then, “sure, whatever works for you”.

once you were done eating you sat there for a few more minutes, chatting, until you knew it was time to get back on the road. the hours that day predictably passed way faster than the day before, the way they always do when you´re starting to reach the peak of having fun and lose track of time. the first hour went by in a flash, the second was mostly spent telling stories about your lives that might amuse the other person, she of course had more years to choose from than you but you still found a good amount of stories from your adolescence that entertained her, neither of you had talked that much and that openly to someone in what felt like years, so you never ran out of things to say and never got bored, eager to connect and know more, even the seemingly irrelevant details about your lives.your bond seemed solid by that point, even though you´d only met the day before. two and a half hours into your drive the midday sun was beating down on the car and the open windows didn´t help much, so you decided to stop for gas and get some snacks and drinks, planning on a half hour break to cool off and regain some energy.

once you were inside the station, you pulled her towards the back where people could get slushies, at least 10 different flavors to choose from, which didn´t seem like a bad idea to you in that moment. “oh I haven´t had one of these in ages, let´s get some”, she looked at you as you both stood there, “sweetie you know this is literally just sugar and food coloring right? like this is a fucking nightmare for your body”, you rolled your eyes at her, “jesus Tess, I didn´t take you for a health freak”.

“I don´t think it´s a health freak thing to not wanna rot your teeth”, you shoved her in the side then, “oh come on, live a little, you know sometimes the nasty stuff hits the spot”, she grinned then which made you register double entendre there, “oh fuck off just come here and choose, it won´t kill you”, so she gave in “okay okay, let me see”. you took a cup and handed her one too, “we should mix flavors I think, I remember that being good. I´ll do cherry and coke I think, classic. you?”, “hmm, I´ll do blue raspberry and coke”.

after you walked back outside you sat down on the hood of her car, thankfully on your own, taking your first sips at the same time. “okay you´re right this does feel good” she admitted, immediately drinking more, savoring the feeling of the ice melting in her mouth, the sweetness giving her a rush while you just watched her, pleased with the sight of her all absorbed in the drink. after a moment of silence you asked, “wanna try mine?”, leaning over before she could answer, the distinct taste of artificial cherry transferred directly onto her tongue as you gave her a deep kiss, making sure she´d feel the residue of your drink, a quiet moan trapped in her throat as she felt your cold lips against hers, a distinctly youthful feel to it, using the excuse of tasting all the options as an excuse to kiss, to touch tongues, it was pure bliss for a moment, the warmth of the sun contrasted by the freezing drinks in your hands, your sloppy display of affection, the uninhibited nature of your desire for her, a sly grin on your face after you pulled back and licked your swollen lips clean, watching her use her hand to wipe hers while she shook her head and laughed to herself, her face flushed. “god what the fuck am I gonna do..” she said in an existential tone, looking over at you, the way you were using the straw to scoop some of the drink out, “like right now or..?” you joked, clearly understanding what she meant. “it´s gonna be such a nightmare to just leave in two weeks. I´m not built for casual at all, I can´t do all this and then just leave, that´s fucking insane.” you smiled at her, “yeah I know. about that, I kind of had an idea..” she was curious then, listening as you went on “you can say if this would be too much, but I could tell dad that I wanna go back to college a few weeks early, it wouldn´t be weird at all, a lot of people do it, and then I could.. you know. come visit. you could show me your city, your life” a bright expression on your face then as you imagined it. she eyed you, processing your proposal, “you´d do that, really? go behind his back and lie like that to come see me?” you shrugged, “absolutely yes”.

it surprised her that you were willing to do all that and made it sound like the most natural thing in the world, it made it clear to her that she might not be alone in her slightly obsessive mindset when it came to what you two had going on. “I should probably discourage you from doing all that, but who am I kidding, that sounds great.” she thought about it for a second before adding “you´re really just gonna take the risk of living with me for a while?”, you laughed then, “risk? is there something you wanna tell me, criminal record or..?”, Tess shook her head,“no, I mean, not that I am aware of, but you know. you have no idea how I live, how I act in my everyday life, it could be a let down” your expression softened then, you could tell that she wasn´t used to having people stay over. “I grew up with a chaotic single father, I think I can handle about any strange habit you could possibly think of. I bet you´ll have to kick me out in the end because I won´t wanna go back to the dorms” she smiled at you, “well, I´ll drive you back to college then, see how you guys live nowadays. do young people still do a lot of drugs?”, she asked, half joking, “not the crowd I run with. but maybe I should start. any suggestions?”, you were alluding to her past which surely included more than one experiment with recreational drug use “none, don't start, it´s not worth it. but you know, smoking´s fine, your dad would hate that I am saying this to you, but I think weed has a time and place” you nodded, “we should get high together sometime. see what happens”, she nudged your leg with hers, “well I think I know what would happen”, a grin on your face as she said this, “I´d hope so” you said, brushing your knee against hers as you both finished your drinks, getting rid of the cups once there was only a small layer of colorless ice left at the bottom.

you had about four hours of driving left, and after about one too many times of you distracting her by touching her, she took you up on your offer to take a break from driving and let you do it for the remaining distance. “I should have made you take over sooner, this is nice” she sighed, stretching out her legs and getting comfortable, doing the same shameless staring from the side that you´d previously done to her, which you didn´t mind at all.“you´re a better driver than I thought” she remarked, which made you turn to her for a second, “are you insinuating that you think young women are all bad drivers? pretty sexist Tess” you teased, not really meaning it, she smiled, “sure, you know me, huge misogynist”.

for a while then you just discussed the logistics of when and where you could see each other, which places in your hometown you might take her, when you might use the excuse of sleeping over at a friends place to spend the night at her place, and a few times Tess caught herself almost slipping back into the mindset of what the fuck am I doing here, but your words had stuck with her, she couldn´t remember the last time she´d felt that present and glad to be alive, so she thought of the sneaking around as something you just had to do, without building it up to be this huge moral issue.

she looked at you a few times that afternoon and thought about how you had no idea that you were strong in some ways that she wasn´t, that you were teaching her certain things without even trying, it was an unexpected thing in your dynamic, that you were giving each other things that you needed without even having to ask for them. she was giving you a stability and security you´d been missing all your life, so often you´d been around people who stressed you out or who couldn´t control their moods, who relied on you to keep the peace, and being with her brought you a deep sense of calm because she was so opposite that, so attuned to how you were feeling, so willing to be the shoulder to lean on, both physically and emotionally. you were giving her a lightness and lust for life that she had lost a while ago, she was so used to settling for the bare minimum and just letting the days pass her by, that your sense of freedom and your way of making the most out of any situation you were in, paying attention to details and indulging in pleasures no matter how insignificant or strange they might seem, it was waking her senses up again, her need for more, for passion and fire, you were helping her see that there was no point in denying herself joy when it presented itself, just out of the fear that it might not last forever.

around 5 pm you drove into your hometown and both of you suddenly quieted down, knowing that your road trip was reaching its finish line. you parked further down the street on purpose, you wanted privacy and no fear of being seen from the house for your last few moments in the car together, so once you pulled into a spot and turned off the ignition, you both sat there in a charged silence for a moment, a shared feeling of I don´t want this to be over yet.

eventually, you looked at each other and she took your hand, giving you a reassuring squeeze, “ready?”, she said, “no.” you answered, a sharpness to your tone that amused her, watching you as your gaze wandered down onto your lap, the sight of your fingers intertwined, and all of a sudden a violent wave of emotion crashed over you; you realized just how much that time with her had given you, how fulfilled you were, how happy and carefree you felt with her, after missing that feeling for so long. you couldn´t do anything about the fact that you were tearing up and she could tell, “are your crying?” she couldn´t help but smile because she knew they weren´t tears of pain, you turned to her, a little embarrassed about it, looking at her intensely, a gentle touch on your cheek to wipe the tears as she almost felt her eyes glistening too, words weren´t needed, the way you looked at each other said it all. a spontaneous willingness to be risky made you both lean in for a kiss, even though there was a slight chance some neighbor or acquaintance could have been walking down the street, you didn´t care one bit, holding each other´s faces with urgency before pulling away and laughing, realizing at the same time how dramatic you were being. you wiped your eyes and shook your head, “jesus look at me…”, she grinned, “look at us. we´re fucked, aren´t we?”, you smiled at her, nodding, “looks that way”. Tess took the reins and moved to open her door, “okay, come on, we need to go”.

as you walked down the street to your house you pointed out certain things to her, which house belonged to which crazy neighbor, where you´d once almost crashed your dad´s car right after getting your license, which tree you´d climbed when you were a kid.

as you walked up to your house you felt her tap you on the shoulder, “you forgot something” she said, snatching her sunglasses from your head which you´d used to push up your hair during the drive, she put them on, giving herself the comfort of not having to make immediate eye contact with Joel once he opened the door, urging you to take the lead. Tess stood a few feet behind you as you rang the bell and he opened the door, immediately pulling you into a tight embrace, almost crushing you, “my sweet girl, look at you. I swear you get more beautiful each time I see you”, the hug lasted longer than the casual kind because you hadn´t seen each other since Christmas, a slight feeling of self consciousness as he showered you with affection in front of her. eventually you separated and he looked at Tess, a warm expression as you walked past him to get inside and left them standing in there in doorway as she walked closer. Joel greeted her “well well, and who do we have here” gesturing for her to also give him a hug, which she did, “hey Miller, been a while”, “yeah, too damn long” he said, glad to see her in person again since the last time had been over two years ago.

he gave her pat on the shoulder, “I´ve gotta say, you look great” he told her, meaning it, “well, I´d say you do too, but you´ve aged quite a bit, my friend” she teased, which made him laugh, “ah there we go, just what I´ve been looking forward to, your unparalleled charm”. their immediate comfort around each other put her at ease, all the worries she´d had before about facing him after your time together, potential feelings of dread or guilt or terror faded away in an instant, replaced by a sense of excitement as she followed him inside.

you had dropped your bags off at the bottom of the stairs and were waiting for them in the kitchen. once they entered the room he immediately went over to the fridge, “you guys must be dying of thirst, what do you want?”, you and Tess both pointed out the refreshments you wanted and took a few sips after he handed them to you, waiting for him to talk. “be honest with me, did she give you any trouble?” he asked, clearly addressing Tess but you spoke up before she could answer “which one of us are you asking?” you said, which made him laugh, “well, I guess both of you”, Tess chimed in then, “nothing I couldn´t handle”, you added to that, “I mean, putting up with you for two decades was good practice for one day with me I think” you joked, smiling at him, and he was relieved to see that apparently you had gotten along really well, “okay I see, you two seem a few things in common, huh” he was alluding to you both making fun of him, but you and Tess thought, well, you are right about that on many levels.

“so, tell me, what did you guys get up to? how´d the road treat you, hm?” an expectant look on his face as you and Tess briefly locked eyes, “you go” she said, keeping herself busy with her drink as you tried to find a way to talk about what had happened, starting simple with things you´d seen on your drive, what you´d had to eat and drink, little funny moments that you knew would amuse him, people you´d observed at all the stops you´d made, and his face immediately lit up as he heard you talking with enthusiasm, a kind he hardly heard whenever you called from college, a sense of pride over the fact that his idea to get you two together had been a good one.

Tess was lucky that he was busy paying attention to you, because as she listened to you talk from across the counter, the look on her face was not the look of an acquaintance or a friend, it was the distinct look of a lover watching their beloved, the kind that stops people in their tracks on the street with the need to witness proof of just how deeply humans can be impacted by each other, how bright our eyes can shine when we are facing what we love, whom we love.

once it was her turn to talk, it was your turn to be the lovestruck fool, admiring her as she stood there, the memory of her hands on you giving you a warm feeling all over, and all you could think was:

thank god I didn´t say no to going on that trip her. thank god I listened when my heart told me to do the “wrong” thing. thank god we still have the majority of our time together ahead of us, even though it feels like we already spent a lifetime together.

#tess servopoulos x reader #tess servopoulos #the last of us x reader #tlou #the last of us fanfiction

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snezario · 4 months ago

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Catch Me I'm Falling (Part 1); Vo/x

this is an adaptation of a vanilla fic i had been working on and there's definitely going to be some divergence from the original. i've been so hesistant to post this but i finally decided that i just don't care. i'm very much at rock-bottom and this ship manages to be the only thing that still provides me some happiness.

i know a majority of the fandom/shippers like one-sided radi/osta/tic, but i'm tired of acting like i wouldn't sell my soul for a ca/trado/ra ending for them. if you don't like it, don't read it :~)

it's supposed to be slow burn and there isn't a lot of Stuff yet but i'm throwing this out into our little community and maybe someone will enjoy it

part 2 / part 3

It all happened so fast. One minute he was preparing for tonight’s broadcast and the next Vox found himself struggling to pick himself up off the filthy streets of Pentagram City. Lightly pressing a hand to his throbbing head, he could see his reflection in a nearby puddle. He craned his neck to get a better view, doing his best to suppress a frown as he took in his appearance–he was sporting a crack that ran down the left side of his screen, a visibly torn suit, and a heavily bruised ego.

Vox staggered to his feet before brushing himself off. He self-consciously straightened his bowtie as sinners stared curiously at the VoxTek CEO, or ex-CEO now, but they didn’t need to know that just yet. He tried to keep his head high, shoulders square, and his attention forward as he plodded down the sidewalk, giving any passerby who looked at him for a millisecond too long a menacing glare.

It was more of a threat really, he couldn’t be bothered to use his hypnosis on anyone right now nor is he sure it would be successful.

As he marched further and further away from the tower, the television demon’s screen became clouded, a flurry of thoughts swirled in his mind. Sure the relationship with Val was never meant to last or turn into anything more than casual sex between business partners. But Vox did not see any of this coming, and in hindsight he really should have.

Valentino’s legendary temper had not shown any sign of letting up and if anything had gotten worse over the years, the fact that he tore up one of Velvette’s best models over Angel moving out should have set off the alarm bells in his head. He always thought he had been the glue that held the Vees together, the mastermind behind it all. Valentino was more conniving than he thought and Vox had been played like a fiddle.

It was all so textbook too. Valentino approached him after Alastor publicly humiliated him all those years ago. He was the one to suggest bringing Velvette on as a business partner. He was the one that initiated the volatile on-again-off-again relationship that they had shared for the better part of the past 7 years. Some nights Vox had wondered whether they could be just more than fuck buddies, but every time he brought it up Val would shoot him down.

And so Vox gave up on that idea and told himself he was happy to just have something between the two of them. A part of him was clinging onto the hope that Val would see reason and take him back. Maybe if he could just talk to Velvette, she’d get him to consider meeting with Vox, hearing his side of things.

Looking up he realized that he had been so lost in thought that he actually wound up further from the city than he would have anticipated and was now standing at the bottom of the hill to the Hazbin Hotel. His screen glitched and he ran a hand down the crack in his screen which came as a result of Val bashing his head into the wall. It was starting to interfere with his vision too, everything was a bit fuzzy. He looked longingly over his shoulder, back at V-Tower–despite how far away the hotel is, the neon sign could be seen twinkling in the distance.

Pulling a face, he trudged up the hill. Now standing directly in front of the hotel, he realized how gaudy it looks up close. Like a Vegas casino hotel, he snorted softly at the comparison. He moved towards the front door and stared at the stained glass windows. Vox hesitated, his raised fist precariously hovering an inch above the wooden door frame. Was he really about to stoop so low that he was going to his rival?

Long buried memories of Alastor started to resurface, as well as the burning hatred he had been harboring towards the radio demon flared in his chest. His screen chose that moment to glitch again, temporarily extinguishing his anger towards the smiling freak, as well as the pesky memories. He gritted his teeth and relented with a weary sigh. Vox raised his hand again before rapping three times on the door. What did he have to lose at this point, really?

He pulled out his phone to see if there was already any news on his spat with Valentino, he was almost certain that the moth demon was going to start a smear campaign against him. Before he could unlock his phone the door swung open to reveal Charlie, who was bouncing up and down slightly, clearly trying to keep her excitement contained. “Welcome to–” she began to say before her jaw nearly dropped to the floor.

While she had never met the other two Vees in person, she was familiar with them and what they looked like. This had to be the television Overlord, Vox. Although, he looked a little worse for wear, especially for an Overlord. She quickly reestablished her sunny demeanor and started again.

“Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!”

It was almost too much for Vox when the Princess of Hell greets him at the door. He almost expected his knock to go unanswered, but now that he’s face to face with Charlie he has half a mind to turn on his heel and run back to V-Tower with his tail between his legs back to Val and beg forgiveness, not unlike the way Alastor escaped the fight with Adam.

Vox gave his head a slight shake as he pushed down the impulse, even though it was so very tempting, planted his feet to the ground. He looked Charlie up and down, taking in her appearance. She was almost his height, to his surprise, much taller than she seemed based on her interview with the news anchor Katie Killjoy some months back. Which was ever so slightly intimidating for him, but no matter.

“Your royal highness,” he bowed his head in reverence to her before raising it again, fixating a sharp grin on her, “I don’t believe we have been properly introduced. My name is Vox–” Charlie was unable to keep her enthusiasm in check and interrupted him with a squeal.

“Mr. Vox, I have heard of you and I am so excited to finally meet you! We haven’t gotten as many guests as I would have hoped. Please come in! Come in!”

Without another word, she grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him into the hotel. Despite his aversion to touch, especially when he didn’t initiate it, Vox allowed himself to be dragged past the threshold of the front door.

He gazed around, privately impressed–the interior was actually nicer than he would have expected. During this time he realized this was actually the first time he had stepped foot in the building, well the newly rebuilt version of it anyways. It was not nearly as hi-tech as his VoxTek building, but it was most likely due to that radio bastard’s influence.

He turned his attention back to Little Miss Bleeding Heart and continued, “Right, so I hear the hotel is still looking for recruits and what better way to sell your hotel than to have another Overlord’s endorsement?” The media mogul maintained his grin as he spoke but faltered when he felt an uncomfortable increase in static pressure around him, which signaled the arrival of a certain pompous old-timey prick of a demon.

“Endorsement from you? I hardly think that’s something we could use here,” Alastor’s staticky radio voice grated against Vox’s audio input sensors and he couldn’t help but flinch before making the necessary adjustments. The radio demon’s narrowed gaze pierced through him, and Vox knew that the former was silently taking in his appearance, judging him. His fanged grin remained steadfast as ever, although he raised a brow as his eyes lingered on the crack in Vox’s screen. Much to Vox’s surprise, he chose not to pass comment.

“Alastor,” Vox curtly acknowledged his rival, “I’m just here as a professional courtesy.”

Vox shifted his weight as his last statement hung in the air between the three of them. Why did he lie? Didn’t they take anyone here? After all, they accepted Pentious without batting an eye. With his cracked screen and disheveled appearance, it wasn’t like he even looked like the all-powerful Overlord image he was used to exuding. He was positively exhausted, but he just couldn’t bring himself to tell the truth yet, especially with Alastor hovering around.

It was bad enough that he showed up on the hotel doorstep looking like a kicked puppy. At this point, he doubted his ego could take anymore of a beating today. He hoped that at least Princess Morningstar would accept his pathetic attempt of an excuse and not ask any follow-up questions.

Just as Charlie opened her mouth to respond, Angel’s voice cut her off. They all turned their attention to the pink fluffy spider sinner lounging on the couch by the bar.

“Yo, get a LOAD of this! Val and Velvette kicked Vox out of the Vees and have started a smear campaign against him. I’ll bet Val’s going to have me working extra this weekend.”Angel trailed off as he noticed how silent the hotel had become. Alastor and Charlie both slowly turned to look at Vox, his pupils constricted but his eyes were now as large as dinner platters. The sheer horror on his screen was undeniable–well now he was royally fucked.

Vox felt a flush creeping up his screen as the hotel occupants’ eyes bore into him. Angel’s exclamation had invited the curiosity of a few other members of the hotel–the television demon now commanded the attention of the former exorcist angel and cat bartender. And normally he lived for attention, but not like this.

His gaze flitted over each of their faces, most of which seem to be of bemusement. Although there was genuine concern in Charlie’s eyes, which almost made Vox sick to his stomach. Alastor’s expression on the other hand hadn’t changed at all. However, he was the first to break the silence.

“Care to explain yourself, old pal?”

Vox’s mouth opened and his lips moved but no sound came out. His screen flickered as he tried to manually override his audio interface. He was slightly alarmed as his backup fans whirled loudly and liquid cooling kicked in. Hopefully his soundboard hadn’t short circuited.

“Why don’t we sit down and talk?” Charlie suggested, seeing the distress on Vox’s face. She placed a steady hand on Vox’s shoulder and guided him towards the parlor.

“Mr. Vox, I know you just got here but you’re welcome to stay here while you sort things out. Everyone is wel–”

“HA! Him? Stay here?” Angel interjected, tossing his head back as he laughed. “Pentious was one thing but this is one of the Vees. I’ll bet this is all just another ploy to infiltrate the hotel.”

The pornstar’s mention of Val and the Vees sent a sharp pain in his chest. His claws dug into his palm, but other than that Vox maintained his composure.

Charlie looked contemplative as she considered Angel’s words. She spoke slowly as she worked to process everything.

“Even if he was trying to undermine our efforts… Why did he come here himself? What do the Vees hope to gain from sending the face of their trio to us?”

“Don’t ask me!” Angel threw up all four of his arms in exasperation. “It’s not like I try to understand anything that goes on in Val’s fucked up mind. I’m sure he’s not much different.”

Charlie opened her mouth to speak but promptly closed it, looking reminiscent of a goldfish when she did it.

“Plus did you see the look on Smiles’ face when this guy showed up?” Angel jabbed a thumb towards Alastor. “I’m sure he wouldn’t hesitate to go full demon mode and tear Vox limb from limb.”

Charlie frowned at the imagery. She turned her attention to Alastor leaning on his staff-microphone stand in the corner of the room. Despite his initial question, he’d been eerily silent. The radio demon met her gaze before looking down his hands. She looked between him and Vox. When neither party offered up anything, she pursed her lips together.

“Well the offer still stands, Mr. Vox.” Charlie said definitively. She momentarily put a hand on his shoulder and he could feel her compassion radiating off her. Her angelic girlfriend who also hadn’t said a word the entire time, still leaned up against the wall. As Vox makes eye contact with her she scowled, although her expression softened as Charlie approached her and took her hand in her own.

She looked over her shoulder and addressed him one last time, “I’m sure Alastor or Niffty can show you to a vacant room, should you choose to stay. Have a good night!”

Angel stretched his arms above his head and yawned loudly.

“Well this has been all sorts’a fun ain’t it? Imma turn in as well. See ya later, Whiskers,” Angel waved genially at the bartender before disappearing down a hallway.

There was an uncomfortable silence now that only Alastor and Vox were left in the parlor. Again, Alastor was the first to break that silence, much to Vox’s chagrin.

“When you first showed up on our doorstep, I was ready to throw you out. You’re quite lucky Charlie intervened and is showing you a kindness that I could never possess,” Alastor tapped his gloved fingers along his chin thoughtfully as he paused, “You know, this actually might not be so bad. It’ll be like old times–”

Vox was lost in thought but managed to catch Alastor’s last sentence. Thankfully, it seemed like his audio issue had resolved itself. He rasped, “Yeah well, you can forget that. I’m not planning on hiding here for the rest of my existence.”

He winced when the radio demon looked at him keenly, he had hoped that Alastor hadn’t also picked up on the hoarseness in his voice. Pressing a couple fingers to his throat, he frowned. Perhaps the audio issue wasn’t as resolved as he thought.

“Suit yourself.”

Alastor threw up his hands indifferently, adjusting his lapels as he stood to leave.

“Alastor, wait– I didn’t mean… I just–” Vox’s voice wavered as he struggled to find the words, burying his head in his hands when he didn’t quite get there. A couple of tense moments passed and he was sure that Alastor had probably just shadow teleported away by now. But when he peeked between his fingers, he could see a figure still by the fireplace. Although Alastor’s back was turned to him now.

Just as Vox opened his mouth to speak, Alastor’s head snapped around–a decidedly horrifying sound that made Vox cringe. The radio demon’s grin widened in a way that caused Vox’s stomach to churn with anxiety. That’s never a good sign is it?

“Let’s take this conversation to my room, hmm?”

The heavy radio static in the space between them made Vox recoil. Oh how he hated when Alastor did that. It always made his systems go haywire or well, it used to at least–with his upgraded components he was less prone to Alastor’s radio interference. He watched as Alastor melted into the shadows, his yellow cheshire grin being the last bit of him to disappear into the darkness.

“Do I have much of a choice?” Vox muttered under his breath before focusing his mind to channel his electrical teleportation abilities and follow his rival. He stopped in front of Alastor’s door wondering what horrors awaited him inside. As he stared anxiously at the ornately decorated door, he noticed that it was cracked open. He pondered his next move… Alastor did invite him in.

With a deep inhale, he pushed open the door. The room was dimly lit and Vox had to adjust his screen’s brightness to see much of anything. In his peripheral vision he noticed Alastor sitting in an armchair on the far side of the room.

“I’m sure you’re dying to snoop around. I will permit you a few minutes to get it out of your system before we begin.”

He looked around Alastor’s bedroom. Huh. Creepy. It appeared to be a hybrid of rustic 1930’s cabin and a Louisiana bayou that stretched past what Vox could presently see. Despite the swamp-like environment, it was surprisingly cool in the room, which was good for Vox because humid climates tended to mess with his components. He idly rubbed a hand down his cracked screen as a fleeting fuzzy sensation skittered through the circuitry in his head.

The radio demon stayed in his armchair, simply observing Vox’s movements. He strolled around the room, picking up various trinkets. Some of them appeared to be remnants of his human life, while the presence of some others puzzled him because of their seemingly ordinary nature. He never really considered Alastor to be a particularly sentimental person but the objects in his room indicated otherwise. Perhaps he didn’t know the other Overlord quite as well as he once thought.

As he turned away from one of the cabinets, his gaze caught a glint of a metal picture frame on a high shelf. Despite the multitude of items, he realized that there are no photographs, let alone framed ones. He reached up to grab it but Alastor’s shadow slid up from behind him and snatched the picture frame before he could get a better look. Startled, Vox spun around to look at the radio demon.

“I think that is quite enough,” Alastor said, motioning for Vox to sit in the armchair across from himself. He waited for the television demon to settle into the chair opposite of him before speaking.

“As you may know, the hotel is a bit lacking in residents following the extermination. I dismissed the idea before, but it could be useful to have the endorsement of other Overlords. Therefore, I have a proposition for you: I help you get back into good graces with your former colleagues and you–”

Vox snorted, before letting out a derisive laugh, “You really think I’m stupid enough to make a deal with you?”

Alastor’s ears flicked back irritably and he rolled his eyes, “Not for your soul, although it would be lovely to own another former Overlord’s soul,” his eyes briefly sparkled mischievously as the thought delighted him. Vox clenched his jaw when Alastor implied he might lose his coveted Overlord status.

“No, my dear. Just an itty-bitty favor. It’s nothing really.”

“Uh-huh… and what favor would that be?” Vox now had his arms crossed in front of his chest as he raised a skeptical brow at Alastor, unconvinced.

“I will reveal more in due time, old pal,” Alastor said cryptically. The finality of his tone indicated to Vox that pressing the issue wouldn’t be in his best interests. He retracted his hand as Vox continued to cast a doubtful gaze upon him.

“Oooor, you become the laughingstock of the Pride Ring, lose your Overlord status, and worst of all what you’ve always feared–”

“Okay! Okay, I get it…” Vox cut off Alastor, which earned him a glare from the other demon.

“So, do we have a deal?” The radio demon leaned towards him, extending his hand again and smiling all the while. What Vox wouldn’t give to wipe that infernal grin off his face.

Vox narrowed his eyes and searched the radio demon’s smile for a sign that he’s lying, going to double-cross him, or worse. The possibilities were endless. Damn, the bastard was always good at masking his true intentions and beyond his usual mischievous grin, it seemed like a relatively normal deal. Well, as normal as deals in Hell went. And with Alastor no less.

And yet, something in the radio demon’s voice tempted him.

Vox stared contemplatively at Alastor’s outstretched hand. As a fellow Overlord, he was no stranger to deals, nor does Alastor’s notoriety for being THE dealmaker go over his head. Sure, it’s not like he was bargaining with his soul but still, deals held a lot of weight in Hell.

This is a mistake. Every fiber in his being was screaming at him to turn back–hightail it out of the hotel and never look back, to grovel at Val’s feet to take him back, that he’s sorry for every argument, every disagreement they had ever had, no matter how small, even if he wasn’t to blame. Before today the thought of begging on his hands and knees would have disgusted him.

There was something that Alastor said earlier in the parlor that brought his spiraling thoughts to a full stop. It’ll be like old times.

Before he had a chance to overthink it, Vox clasped his hand around Alastor’s.

“Deal.”

Alastor’s smile broadened ever so slightly when their hands connected. A brilliant emerald light cloaked the entire room as the two demons shook hands, along with a shrill radio frequency that threatened to overload Vox’s motherboard. Not ominous at all. Alastor’s pupils transformed into radio dials and his antlers expanded both in height and length tenfold. Huh, it had been some time since Vox had seen Alastor’s demon form. This wasn’t even a full transformation–his full demon form was truly a sight to behold, lesser sinners would have cowered in its presence.

Vox shielded his face with his free hand until the light faded. The radio demon released his hand, which he let drop almost lifelessly to his side. His heart was pounding in his chest. What did he just do? Before he could dwell on his actions Alastor piped up.

"Now that that's out of the way, let's say we patch up your screen, shall we?" Alastor brushed off his coat as he stood, one hand clasping his staff as he waited for Vox to respond.

Vox frowned. His scree–? Oh! Raising a hand to trace the crack, he clenched his jaw as he’s reminded of Val’s parting gift to him. He had been so wound up that he’d nearly forgotten about the damage. His attention was momentarily diverted when he felt the unusual fuzzy sensation flit along his screen. Although, apparently that was just the beginning of his problems because as soon as the sensation passed, he completely lost vision on his left side.

“Fuck! Give me a sec, I’m just going to reinitialize my visual system.” Vox’s screen went dark briefly. Upon reboot his face reappeared, but not before it’s covered by an error code indicating that his visual I/O ports are damaged and a warning to cease usage until they are replaced or repaired. He manually overrode the warnings and to his luck, his vision was partially restored not to its usual 4K quality but it would do for now.

Alastor rifled through a cabinet drawer, returning to his chair with a small tube of fast-drying glue. He presented the tube to Vox. “Think this will help?”

“Couldn’t hurt, I suppose,” Vox responded with a half-shrug. He shifted his weight to take the glue from Alastor, but was surprised to see the other demon unscrewing the cap.

“Might be best if I apply it,” Alastor said quietly. Vox simply nodded, still a bit stunned that Alastor had not only offered to help but was actually initiating physical contact. He inched towards the radio demon so that the latter didn’t have to reach as far.

“You know, when you rejected my offer all those years ago I thought you were joking,” Vox paused, gazing at a point past the radio demon’s shoulders at the foreboding darkness of the swamp. It was so quiet the sounds of their breathing seemed to overpower the ambient noises of the bayou. Alastor remained quiet, focused on applying the glue to the crack in his screen but Vox can tell he’s captured the other’s attention with the way his ears twitched.

That was until the dull flickering in the back of his screen that he’d been trying to ignore, decided enough was enough. He only barely registered the sensation when his breath hitched urgently. He angled as far away from Alastor as possible as the tickle crested.

“ihh–ih’DZZTSSHhhuh!”

Alastor blinked at him in surprise. Vox’s screen felt unusually warm as he cleared his throat and tried to breeze over the interruption by continuing from his previous statement. “I thought you’d come around eventually. We both had the highest numbers either of us had ever seen and people’s tastes change so quickly here, I just felt that we needed to stay up with the times. But I guess some things never change, eh?”

Alastor opened his mouth to address the intrusion, only for his teeth to clamp down as he let out a pained hiss. He dropped the tube of glue as he jerked away from Vox to cradle his chest.

“Hey, are you okay?” Vox tilted his head. He couldn’t help but ask, even though he knows that Alastor would probably rather get his ass handed to him by Adam again than admit anything to him. Although he's not the only one to be loath to admit weakness of any kind, it seems like nearly everyone in Hell has the emotional intelligence of a teaspoon, barring a select few. Perhaps that was part of the “being in Hell” package, keep them at each other’s throats so they wouldn’t amount to anything.

Despite the minor incursion, Alastor’s smile hadn’t wavered in the slightest. He addressed Vox coolly, “I’m fine, don’t worry your noisy picture box of a head about it.”

However, the wince following his statement indicated he’s in more pain than he was letting on. Vox stretched a hand towards him but Alastor flinched away. He bristled, baring his teeth at the startled television Overlord, “It’s none your concern.”

“For once, will you stop being a pompous ass, and just let me take a look?” Vox snapped irritably at him.

As the lights flickered dangerously, Vox pressed up against the armchair fearing that he pushed too far. Alastor’s full demon form began to loom over him and Vox would be helpless to do anything. To his surprise, he shrank back down, his black eyes reverting to their usual crimson sclera, and his antlers returned to their normal size. He made a non-committal sound and motioned for Vox to move in closer.

Vox peeled back the soiled bandages and examined the wound, careful not to aggravate it. He’d never been the squeamish type but still had to swallow the urge to make a face. Not that he’d ever admit it, but he was surprised when he caught wind that Alastor had not been missing for that long and had already returned to the hotel. From what Vox had seen through his drones, the radio Overlord had taken much more pure angelic power to the face than most demons would be able to handle, let alone live to tell the tale.

“A parting gift from the first man,” Alastor said bitterly, jolting him from his musings. He felt a bit exposed, not having realized that the other demon had been watching for his reaction.

Turning his attention back to the injury, Vox inspected it further. He’s no doctor, quite far from it, but it seemed to be healing, albeit slowly. Probably would hurt like a bitch for a good long while, and no doubt would leave a nasty scar.

“You should probably change the dressings more often,” Vox advised, to which Alastor gave him a withering look. Typical. He rolled his eyes and shrugged, “Unless you want it to get infected.”

Alastor hummed, returning back to the cabinet that Vox saw him sifting through earlier. He pulled out a pack of gauze, ointment, and a roll of medical tape placing it on the table between them. If Vox had to guess, he’d probably been taking care of it himself, and was not being attentive enough from the looks of it. Before Alastor had a chance to object, Vox picked up all the items and removed the old bandages swiftly.

“Hold still,” Vox mumbled with the tube of antibiotic ointment between his teeth. He squeezed a thin but more than adequate layer on the gauze before pressing it against the wound, hesitating at the hiss that escaped Alastor clenched teeth. Powering through, he secured the dressing with medical tape, so that it was snug against the wound but breathable to encourage it to heal a bit faster. “There.”

The radio demon blinked at the fresh dressing but said nothing. Vox didn’t expect him to express any gratitude and just a little acknowledgement would have been nice, but he wasn’t about to hold his breath for it either. Against his better judgment, he circled back to their previous conversation.

“I know things weren’t always perfect between us but there were moments where I thought you genuinely enjoyed parts of it at least. And now, I just… Knowing that all this time you cared so little for our partnership,” Vox deflated into the armchair with the last sentence and dragged a hand down his screen. Behind the charismatic businessman persona he put on for the press, he’s tired of it all and being around Alastor again was messing with his head.

“That’s not entirely true,” Alastor murmured, staring pensively down at his hands folded over one another on his lap.

Vox did a double-take, did he hear that correctly? Alastor had spoken so quietly he had to turn up his volume to max, only to barely catch what he said. Did his audio system get fused together because he could have sworn that Alastor just debunked his theory. He alternated between letting the comment pass by or bringing attention to it. Fuck it. He decided to probe, just a little.

“Oh? Care to elaborate, old pal?” Vox smirked as he threw Alastor’s nickname back at him. He passed a hand along the back of his vents, which seemed to be a bit sensitive at the moment.

Alastor scoffed, looking up at the ceiling as he started to relay his thoughts, “We had a good thing going. When you first brought up the idea I wanted nothing to do with it, but you were persistent. You started to wear me down and I thought, maybe the idea wasn’t so far-fetched, maybe I was just being stubborn.” Vox was completely enraptured as Alastor recounted his version of the past.

“Ultimately, it felt like your proposal was inviting too many cooks to the kitchen. I have always worked best alone and our partnership was very much an outlier. After that last night, well…” Vox braced himself to relive the painful memory as the radio demon mentions the night, the night that everything fell apart. But Alastor merely trailed off.

His expression warped into something unrecognizable as he continued, “I thought about apologizing and the next morning I went to your apartment but you were already gone. Within the hour, your alliance with Velvette and Valentino was announced.”

Vox’s eyes widened, he had never heard about any of this before. “I-I had no idea. I–” His words got caught on the lump in his throat as he imagined Alastor at his doorstep.

Alastor shook his head, “Of course not. I left for my seven year “sabbatical” shortly after.” Vox angled his head slightly to see a wistful expression written on the radio demon’s features. Caught up in the moment, he asked the question that’s been on his mind since Valentino first alerted him to Alastor’s return.

“Where did you go all those years?” As soon as the words left Vox’s mouth, there was a sharp uptick in static interference around them.

“You never did know when to keep your nose out of matters that don’t concern you,” Alastor sneered. And just like that, the moment evaporated, gone. Alastor’s mask slid back up, shutting Vox out again. In turn, he shoved down whatever feelings had started to bubble up, back into the furthest recesses of his heart.

“The crack is sealed but I doubt it’s fixed. I’m no electronics expert,” Alastor’s tone was matter-of-fact and he pointedly avoided looking at Vox. Instead, he picked up a book left on the table and began to flip through it.

“Figured as much,” Vox sighed wearily. He craned his neck to examine the drying glue in a mirror on a nearby shelf–hmm, Alastor didn’t do half bad. “I’ll have to visit the electronics store tomoro–hihh’IZZZSHuhh!”

Vox barely managed to curl into his elbow as the sneeze sent him pitching forward. The unexpected outburst caused Alastor to jump and Vox was stunned as well. When he straightened up, Alastor was staring at him with an odd expression on his face.

“Uhh… sorry again,” Vox apologized, rubbing his arm sheepishly before turning to leave. With his hand on the doorknob, he tilted his head back slightly, “Thanks for… this I guess.”

Without another word, he slipped out of Alastor’s room. His screen is warm with embarrassment, having sneezed not once but twice in front of Alastor. As humiliating as it was to lay out his feelings in front of him, this was so much worse.

Wandering the halls aimlessly, Vox found himself thinking about the moth Overlord. Vox was never enough, he could never satisfy him. Reflecting their relationship made his chest ache and tears pricked at the edge of his screen. He stopped in his tracks, choking back a sob, as the emotions threatened to tumble out. Which turned out to be a mistake as he found himself leaning up against a wall when he doubled over with a harsh fit of dry, ticklish coughs.

When it finally subsided he heaved himself off the floor and went to find a place to curl up for the night. He was too humiliated to find the small cyclops maid demon and ask for a room so he settled for a chaise in the lobby. He shivered violently before laying his makeshift bed. As Vox brought his knees to his chest, the events of the day replayed in his mind. How fast his whole world has come crashing down. One moment he had it all–a company with his name plastered on it, the status and title of being an Overlord with several hundred, if not thousands of souls to boot (he never really kept track), and a so-so situationship, the next he was at rock bottom–stuck at this tacky hotel for redemption, of all things. Redemption. The ridiculousness of it.

He squeezed his eyes shut as his head throbbed. God, he really needed to get his screen fixed.Although… the idea of righting one’s wrongs did have some appeal. His fingers grazed the patched up crack, the crack that Alastor helped patch up. They had a long way to go but maybe, just maybe, things between him and Alastor could follow suit.

#hazbinhyperfixation #fiendwriting #here's hoping that i'll actually finish this #i haven't even finished the vanilla version but that one is 50% done #i spend way too much time and energy worrying about what other ppl think and it's just time for me to let go #as vox said: who gives a shit?

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thatbigbisexual29 · 1 year ago

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Opposite Day (ATSP)

*pant pant pant* I"VE DONE IT! THE FIC IS COMPLETE! Sorry it took so long guys, this was a little hard to write for some reason? This one is a little short and has more of buildup than tickling, but the next one I know you all will really enjoy! Anyways, eat up my beauties! And as always, thank's for the kind words and enjoy ;)

“Gwendie. I don’ mind you stayin’ at mah place, but could you get offa me?” Hobie asked as the girl had her feet planted near Hobie’s face. The two were chilling at Hobie’s place and Gwen had the audacity to walk in, unannounced, approach Hobie as he laid on his couch, and fully laid on top of him. Gwen, not even bothering to fight back her mischievous, shit-eating grin, looked up and pretended to think about it.

“Nah, I’m good.” She then picked up a nearby magazine and began flipping through the pages. With a small growl, Hobie then smirked, an idea popping into his head.

“Y’know, Gwendie, s’actually opposite day in this universe. So, fank you.” He lifted up one of his legs and let Gwen fall to the floor with a loud grunt. She glared back with an offended and shocked look, a slight smile to her open mouth as she scoffed. Hobie smirked and stood up, walking to the small kitchen.

“You jerk!” Gwen accused as she stood up and jogged to him, poking her head in behind him. Just then, keys jiggled against the doorknob as Karl Morningdew, aka Captain Anarchy, entered the building. Hobie smirked, immediately creating a plan in his head.

“Oi, Karl! Is Opposite Day, no?” he called behind him.

Without skipping a beat, Karl walked past them while reading a (probably stolen) magazine and said, “Course not. Comes ‘round this time of year every year. Why?”

God how Hobie loved him. Not even two seconds in the door and he’s already playing along with his games. That’s how Hobie knew he had a great friend. Gwen looked shocked and perturbed at the same time. The look on her face was pure confusion. Hobie fought down his laugh.

“See?” He gestured, a smirk on his face as he looked at Gwen. “‘S Opposite Day. Get used to it~”

Gwen groaned, as any other teen would do, and crossed her arms in a huff.

“Since when do you follow rules?” she asked.

“I just do what pisses someone else off.” Hobie gave her a broad, cheeky smile and returned to his teabag. Gwen rolled her eyes and returned to the couch, laying across the cushions. She flipped through the channels, searching for anything mind numbing to watch. Karl sat on the (broken) armchair and flipped through his magazine quietly. Hobie came back and lifted up Gwen’s feet to make room for himself.

“Oi, leave dis one on,” Hobie said. Gwen scoffed a laugh.

“You watch the Great British Baking Show?”

“Don’t you dare mock that show, Gwen,” Karl piped up, “Hobie is very passionate about nice old ladies making cakes and promoting their local businesses.”

“Bofa yous can suck it,” Hobie grumbled, sipping on his tea as the two laughed at him. But Hobie had the last laugh when he saw them both deeply engrossed in the show twenty minutes later. They even started commenting aloud, talking about which contestant was more screwed. Like you can do any better, Hobie retorted in his head. As the show went on, one of the bakers decided to make a cake shaped and decorated to look like an electric guitar. This brought back sudden memories of the prank that was pulled on his own guitar not even a week ago. Then, he realized Gwen still had her feet on his lap. What a perfect opportunity for revenge.

Hobie set his tea on a side table and innocently put his hands in his lap. Then, acting as if he was bored, started to graze his fingers on Gwen’s soles. Her feet twitched and she gave him an odd look.

“Hobs, what are you doing?” she asked, about to move her feet. Hobie quickly caught her ankles and forced them to stay on his thigh.

“Y’know, Tabitha’s cake reminded me o’ somefin. De electric guitar look, yeah? Woulda been mor interestin’ if she used… noodles.” Hobie growled out that last word.

Gwen’s eyes bulged out of her skull as she tried to scramble away, acting like a cat just got thrown into a bathtub. Hobie cackled loudly and wrapped an arm around her ankles and pulled her close, scribbling all over her soles. Gwen barked out a surprise laugh and immediately covered her mouth to muffle her giggles. Her laughter was stifled, but her thrashing and kicking reminded Hobie of an American Rodeo Show.

“Damn, ‘s almos’ like you don’ wanna reap wha you sow! K-KArl! ‘Elp me out ‘ere! She’s a wild one!” Hobie called out as he laughed, nearly being thrown about. Their spidey strength competed against each other, Hobie’s grip versus Gwen’s power legs. Karl huffed a laugh and walked over with a sorry-not-sorry look on his face.

“Sorry, Gwendie.” He adopted Hobie’s nickname for her as he pushed her shoulders into the couch as he sat on her back, facing towards the tv. This earned a loud groan from the Spider-Woman at the weight and that quickly turned into hysterical laughter. Karl smirked and squeezed her side a few times. “You kinda deserve this. You’re lucky Miles was nice to buy him strings. But then again you’re super unlucky since he ratted you out. Now hush, I wanna see how Glendale’s triple chocolate cake turns out.”

Now, contrary to popular belief, this happens more often than one would think. Three punks (Gwen being honorary) tickling each other while they watch a baking show? It’s a pretty funny sight. So not many people would imagine this scenario, much less see it with their own two eyes.

Now that Hobie and Karl had Gwen stuck (hee hee spiderman joke), Hobie was able to properly get to work. He still had to watch himself as Gwen’s donkey kicks still proved dangerous. He scribbled and scratched all over her arches earning shrieks of protest from his friend.

“HOHOHOHOHOBIE!! KAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAARL!!! STOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOP TIHIHIHIHIHIHICKLING MEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!” Gwen screamed, swinging an arm back in an attempt to hit either one of them. Karl dodged just in time and caught her wrist, starting to poke at her armpit which caused her to giggle hysterically.

“You forget s’opposite day or somefin?” Hobie asked as he gave small squeezes under each of her toes. Gwen bucked back and almost nailed him in the nose.

“Youhuhuhuhuhuhu suck! Okahahahahay okay! Keheheheheheheep tihihihihickling mehehehehe you bahahahahastard!” Gwen said in ‘Opposite Day’ fashion. Hobie bore the most sinister grin a spiderman could pull.

“Keep ticklin’ yous? Alroight, if yous says so~” Hobie grabbed the back of her knees and started scribbling. Realizing she’d been betrayed, Gwen started doing everything in her power to escape. Although, her efforts went unnoticed between the two.

“HOBIE NOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!! GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! N-NOHOHOHOHOHOHO FAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAIR YOU- AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” She couldn’t even finish her sentence, she was so ticklish angry. Hobie and Karl chuckled.

“Gwendie, you are either extremely ticklish or way too over dramatic. I can’t tell which at dis point,” Hobie teased.

“You are evil, Hobs.” Karl stopped his poking assault and just held her wrist, making sure she wouldn’t accidentally break her arm.

“Am jus’ lookin’ for an apology, luv! C’mon, Gwendie~ Jus’ say ‘I’m sorry Hobie-’”

“IHIHIHIHIHIHI’M SOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHORYYYYY! PLEASE LET GOHOHOHOHOHO!!!” Gwen screamed before Hobie could finish his sentence, tears of mirth falling from her eyes. With a laugh, Hobie removed his hands and nodded to Karl who stood up and patted her back. Gwen took in greedy, giggly breaths as she calmed down. Then, Hobie scoped her up in his arms and leaned against the arm of the couch, hugging her close.

“Your knees can’t be that sensitive, luv. You really are jus’ over dramatic, huh?” Hobie couldn’t resist teasing her one more time. Gwen huffed.

“You’re the wohorst. You too Karl,” she spat. Karl just laughed and brushed it off, knowing the venom in her words were halfhearted. Then, the man laid on top of her, making the three of them a huge cuddle pile.

“You luv us, luv. Oh shit Tabitha’s guitar cake is gettin’ judged. Stop bein' wholesome fuckwads, I need to see this,” Hobie shimmied upwards, still hugging Gwen, and the three punks all turned their heads back to the tv.

And Opposite Day was no more.

#across the spiderverse #hobie brown #spider punk #spiderverse #ghost spider #atsv gwen #gwen stacy #atsp hobie #across the spiderverse tickle #atsp tickle #tickle fic #this one gotta be honest is not my favorite out the bunch #no hate I just feel like it could have been better but we gots what we got gang #capatin anarchy #karl morningdew #also I do not know everything about Karl so I went with the flow #if anyone realizes its not accurate then oh well i did what i could *shrug*

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jak--ash · 5 months ago

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Massage- a Serirei fic

rated e for everyone, 1,495 words.

serizawa has pain and gets a massage from the best psychic hands of the century.

not proof-read, I just had to write and publish so I didnt get embarrassed. please be nice this is my first time writing fanfiction and is very self-indulgent. enjoy!

serizawa is a trans guy, which added to his isolation before leaving his old life. with the support of his mother, he was able to start hormones and he got top surgery a about a year and a half ago-the anniversary was celebrated at Spirits and Such. Because he transitioned during that time, he finds himself in a place of stealth though he's learning to be proud.

when serizawa met reigen, he found a gap in who he was now and who he saw himself as, in many ways. he was no longer working for claw, he was starting adult education, he had a steady job and new friends, along with a cute boss. he spent so long hating the world but now he felt like he had found a place for himself to be happy in.

serizawa is. deeply touch starved. isolation and dysphoria created a perfect storm inside him- too scared to let people touch him while desperately needing someone to force their way through to him. he could never voice those feelings though, desire always getting caught up in his throat and dying out before they reached his tongue, leaving nothing but an ache in his heart.

one day at work business was slow, which was usual. Serizawa was sipping a cup of mid-afternoon tea and going over some homework when Reigen stood from his desk to face the window and rub his eyes as serizawa kept taking notes. Reigen made his way to seri's desk with a smile and they chatted about what was new in serizawa's academic life.

"well, don't let me be the reason you stop your hard work," reigen said with a pat on serizawa's shoulder, and that's when he felt it- serizawa's shoulder was like granite. reigen tentatively brought his other hand to serizawa's other shoulder and gently squeezed, causing serizawa to suck in a breath between his teeth.

"woah, serizawa, you alright?" reigen wanted to start working out the muscle but figured he should get permission first, so he just kept his hands comfortingly on his shoulders.

Serizawa let out a nervous chuckle. "aha, I get that question a lot. my shoulders are always pretty tense and have been for years. when i was recovering from top surgery i think i hurt something in my left shoulder and neck, so it flares up. sorry, i didn't mean to scare you."

"don't apologize buddy. i'm sorry you're in pain. what if I gave you a massage? we don't have any reservations so we could close down for a little bit. besides, I need to keep my exorcism techniques limber. whaddya say?" reigen wiggled his fingers, dancing across serizawa's shoulders, making serizawa laugh again, softly, and nod. a massage from someone he loved sounded nice.

The two of them worked together to get the room prepared; flipping the "open" sign to "closed", wheeled out the massage bed, dimmed the lights, and turned on the salt lamp, essential oil humidifier, and white noise machine; Reigen wanted to go all-out for someone as special as Serizawa, who was currently in their office's bathroom changing into comfortable pants and removing his shirt. Reigen placed a glass of water for Serizawa on the side table and rummaged around for the oil he'd use for the massage. when serizawa returned, reigen found himself enamored with serizawa's body and drank it all up, eyes raking over his body hair around his tummy, chest, and arms. His scars were fading at this point, raised in some areas and stretched in others- they both frequently talked about how hot they were for it, along with serizawa's mismatched-sized nipples.

"I'm going to stretch a little bit first," serizawa said in a low voice, "I might make cracking sounds, but I'm fine," with that he began holding positions that extended his neck, jaw, shoulders, and arms, popping joints and sighing, groaning a bit with a good one. He got a little lost in his actions, stretching out his back and legs a bit too. Reigen just watched, wondering what he'd done to be blessed with such a beauty in front of him, and tried not to let his mind wander when serizawa let out soft groans carried by his sighs. Serizawa rolled his shoulders and nodded, climbing onto the massage bed and lying face-down. Technically, he could've sat in a chair for the massage, but he figured he'd be able to relax more if he felt somewhat covered up by laying down.

Reigen was snapped out of his stupor and got to work. he uncapped his lavender oil that he had been warming and let serizawa smell it, which earned him a chuckle. Reigen placed some of the warm oil across serizawa's shoulders, and got to work. "try to relax for me, okay?" he whispered, answered by a soft hum from the bottom side of the massage bed.

If he was honest, serizawa didn't know what he expected. he had been to a massage therapist twice before, but she would only do quick sessions, not enough to give him true relief. of course, he frequently massaged his own shoulders, but he could only do so much. This? was otherworldly. Reigen went slow, as if he wasn't just massaging, but visually and physically mapping out inner workings of serizawa. He worked the target areas with thoughtful yet firm fingers and palms just until serizawa was about to speak up about the pain, when he'd move to the surrounding areas and make sure there was no tension there either. It was alluring ebb and flow that serizawa felt himself getting lost in, forgetting all thoughts outside the caring touches easing his years-long pain. He let out a big sigh, and felt himself enter a state he didn't know he could enter sober.

"how are you feeling?" reigen whispered. he too had been lost in his hypnotic movements, obsessed with how he could feel some of the tension leaving the other man's body. his ears had been zoned in on serizawa's breathing, when its pace picked up as he worked the sore spots and how he was almost snoring when the tension disappeared.

"reigen," serizawa breathed dreamily, "don't stop yet, it feels good. my left arm is going a little numb though." For the second time, reigen cursed his dick for having a reaction to serizawa in a moment like this.

"I'm not going anywhere, don't worry," Reigen hummed. He slowly worked his way down serizawa's left trapezius, to his bicep, forearm, and finally his wrist and palm, earning a small groan from serizawa. Right before the urge to hold serizawa's hand overtook him, reigen moved back to serizawa's shoulders, giving him more attention now that he felt softer in the area.

"I think this is as much progress as we'll be able to make today, serizawa," reigen muttered as he continued to mindlessly rub down serizawa's back, not wanting the touch to end.

"hm, you're probably right," there was a soft silence as the two men kept basking in each other's company. the atmosphere was so welcoming and full of trust, it was hard to pull themselves away from it. "do I have to get up?"

Reigen tousled the head of hair still glued to the massage table and smiled. "No, but if you do, we can go get takoyaki." that piqued Serizawa's interest like reigen knew it would, making him rise. Serizawa's face was adorable; smushed from how he was laying, and relief painted all over. he reminded reigen of young kittens who wake up disgruntled from deep naps. Serizawa moved his shoulders around a bit and hummed.

"thank you, deeply. that was amazing."

"don't worry about it. now that i know, this won't be the only time i help you. whenever you want, tell me you want another and I'll give it to you, okay?" Reigen knew Serizawa was still working on letting his needs be known, but he didn't need serizawa to know in that moment how he already fully intended to check in on serizawa periodically and ask if he could rub him down again.

"I will, thank you. I'll go get dressed for takoyaki now." Serizawa stood, sharing one more smile with Reigen before going back to the bathroom to change again.

In the following months, the two of them found a routine they both liked for massages. Serizawa did start to ask for them, which helped spur his confidence. the physical relief serizawa was getting allowed him to do more for pain management, such as yoga and exercise (mob gave him some workouts to help strengthen those muscles). Eventually he needed them less often for pain outside of flare ups, but he kept finding himself asking reigen for them because how good it felt to just be close. of course, reigen always obliged.

With each touch, serizawa felt his fears melt away, until he finally started to feel like he was beyond his past.

#fun fact every detail about serizawa's transition and loneliness are just me projecting lol if anyone couldnt tell #also the pain/location #what i wouldnt give for a hot man who loves me to massage my pain away #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #serirei #reigen arataka #serizawa katsuya #trans!serizawa #trans serizawa #fanfic

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mariaofdoranelle · 1 year ago

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Look at Us Now - ch. 17

Fic masterlist

Hey! It feels like forever since I last posted, probably because I was kinda handling a crisis at home 😅 the crisis is very much still on, but I’m ~excluding myself from the narrative~ for mental health reasons, which hopefully means I’ll stop skipping classes and write more lol. Anyway. Have fun!

Warnings: language

Words: 2,7k

Rowan failed her.

He was reminiscing, reflecting on a rocking chair, under the faint light of the beach house’s side porch. Alone. The hammering sound of the rain against the roof was loud, but not as much as Rowan’s thoughts.

His doom was a lot easier to deal with when Aelin was just someone who broke his heart because she didn’t care enough about him.

He rocked his chair a bit harder, his muscles strained. He was too angry at himself to stay still, but too gloomy to have an eruptive reaction.

Rowan got up, pacing around the porch. He couldn’t stop thinking what would’ve happened if he’d done his job right. Maybe they would be together now. Maybe their co-parenting arrangement would’ve stayed friendly. Either way would be better than what it became.

The purely physical affair he had with Aelin was brutally interrupted by his incarceration and the discovery of her pregnancy. After that, they bonded in a way that made him feel like their souls were melting to be forged as one, but it was just another way of not having her.

Aelin was never fully his, and she would never be after what he’d done.

And even if she wanted to take a risk and have him, what if Rowan broke his family all over again?

Three knocks against the doorframe snapped Rowan out of his thoughts, and was all warning his mother gave him before sitting on a rocking chair.

“I brought some hot tea for you to tell me what happened. Come on.”

He complied, knowing he didn’t have the energy to defy Rory Whitethorn right now. Rowan could trust his mom to read his moods like a manual. He sat on the other rocking chair next to hers. “Did I ever tell you you’re too nosy?”

“I’m your mother. If I didn’t pry, I wouldn’t know anything that happened in your life ever since you left for college.”

He let out a quiet chuckle and sipped the chamomile tea she brought. Breathing the rain’s fresh air in, he let it fill his hollow chest. Rowan couldn’t even begin to explain his situation without uttering the words he dreaded the most, something he’d never dared say out loud before.

“I’m in love with Aelin.”

He stilled, bracing himself for the I’ve been telling you that forever or You’re six years too late, but all he got was an unreadable motherly look.

Rory reached for his upper arm, stroked it with her thumb before she said, “That’s a good thing, honey.”

“We were growing closer lately, and I… well, I didn’t have a plan, but—“ Rowan ran a hand through his hair, closed his eyes and let out a pained breath. “She explained today why she asked me to move out of her house. It’s bad, mom.”

“I see…” Rory trailed, his chest caving as she did. This was a bad indicator. The situation was so serious his mother was actually thinking before she opened her mouth. She continued, “I’m assuming you won’t tell me what happened?”

“I’m not sure I can.”

Even if Aelin allowed him to tell Rory about her mental illness, everything that happened between them back then still felt too raw, too intimate.

“That’s okay.” His mother gave him a small, reassuring smile. “Did she forgive you?”

“I—“ Rowan’s mouth hung open for a moment, then he closed it. He was about to say ‘no’, but even though Aelin didn’t say the words, she didn’t look mad or wounded either. “I’m not sure.”

“It was a long time ago, and she doesn’t look upset about it anymore.” His mom’s voice was soft, her touch on his forearm gentle. “This looks a lot like forgiveness to me.”

“Yeah, but that’s beside the point.” His mouth was ajar as he flailed his arms in front of him, struggling to explain that weight in his chest. “I shouldn’t be looking for cues and forgiveness. I shouldn’t have done anything that—“ Rowan rubbed both hands against his face, coming to terms with the fact that it’d take a while until he found the right words. “I don’t even feel like I deserve her forgiveness, to begin with.”

Rory recoiled. “But that’s not your decision.”

The sudden change in his mother’s tone, from soft to firm, snapped Rowan out of his spiral of self-loathing. “What?”

“Honey,” she pursed her lips, that trademark Whitethorn frown on. “Only Aelin can decide whether you deserve her or not. If she thinks you do and wants to try again…” Rory shrugged. “Just take that chance and don’t make the same mistake twice.”

Rowan’s mouth and shoulders went slack. “Am I supposed to forget I deeply wounded the mother of my child?”

Because that’s exactly what happened. Rowan was so scared to hurt Maisie it made him blind to some of Aelin’s needs, and he hurt his family anyway. His throat closed, and he felt as heavy as Aelin’s words on the night that crushed his dreams. That’s what happens, right? It’s impossible for a man to wound the mother exclusively. As if this isn’t bad enough, it leaves a trail of hurt that affects the entire family.

This one was on him.

“That was included in the ‘don’t fuck up again’ part.” Something about his expression made his mother soften. “It’s normal to wallow, but you can’t let that stop your life, Rowan. It’s always the same thing.” Rory sighed, and Rowan felt she was gazing right into his soul with the same green eyes she gave him. “Honey, you’re so full of what-ifs, it’s putting your entire life on hold. Sometimes you gotta be a little bold to get the things you want in life.”

Rowan stared at his mother, dizziness taking over him as his insides sank to the pit of his stomach. The rain was dying down, the gentle wind rustling his hair, but he couldn’t move.

At that moment, Rowan wanted to defend himself. He didn’t have the energy to, but he wanted to say that his mother was wrong, that she didn’t understand. He wanted to get up and scream.

He doesn’t like the way things are now, he never liked the co-parenting arrangement.

He didn’t choose this.

He never chose to wait for things to settle until six years passed by, it just happened.

Rowan is a careful person, that’s part of him. Always weighing his next step, always waiting for the right time.

And while he waited for the timing to be perfect, Aelin got pregnant, moved in with him, birthed his baby, kicked him out, grew to hate him, stopped hating him, and now their daughter is five years old.

He was still gravitating around her, waiting for the right time to do something. Anything. Rowan wasn’t even sure what exactly he was supposed to do, he just knew it involved bringing Aelin back into his life.

Sensing his struggle, Rory sat back and decided to not press on the subject. “This reminds me of your dad, you know?” Her gaze grew distant, a bittersweet smile on her lips. “It’s easier for him when I mess up than when he does. The guilt is always the worst part for him.”

“Sounds like Dad,” Rowan said around a faint chuckle.

Rory wiggled her eyebrows. ”You know what helped him a lot?”

“Huh.”

“Therapy.”

Rowan tensed, and he narrowed his eyes at his mother, trying to decide if he should believe her. “You’re lying.”

“I am! But it got into your stubborn head, didn’t it?”

Rowan chuckled, his gloomy state not strong enough to survive his mother’s antics. “Not now that I know it’s a lie!”

She gave him a small grin, then reached for her son’s hand. “Honey, your father’s mental well-being is called retirement, a grown child, and leaving the big city to a beach house. You can’t have any of that now, so you should consider therapy.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Rowan waved her off. “I’ll think about it.”

“Also, you should really talk to Aelin. You’re not good at reading cues, honey, you got this from your dad as well.”

He gave her a sidelong glance, noticing that she was off her handling-my-son-in-crisis mode, back to her usual self. “Is that so?”

Rory adjusted herself in chair, picking back the long-forgotten mug of tea. “Did I ever tell you your father hired a band when he proposed to me? You have no idea the amount of unsubtle hints I gave him.”

“Mom.” Rowan interrupted, giving her a pointed, knowing look. “I don’t remember saying anything about proposing.”

He had no idea if Aelin would let him get anywhere close to that.

“I know.” Rory’s elbow on his side was as faint as her subtlety. “But keep that in mind.”

He chuckled. “The band or the hints?”

“Both. Especially hints about bands.”

“And what if you want to swim?” He asked, crouched on the floor and eye-to-eye with Maisie, his face as serious as it could be.

“I can’t swim without a grown-up.”

“Any grown-up?”

“No strangers!” She dramatically shook her head. “Just Mommy, Auntie Sellene and Aidan.”

“Maisie.” Rowan’s voice was firm. “Your cousin Aidan isn’t a grown-up.”

“But he’s nine!”

“No, he’s still a kid. And…” He bowed his head, running his palm against his forehead. “I’m forgetting something.”

“Daddy.” She gave him a pointed look. “You’re being a buzzard.”

Rowan bit back a smile. The weight in his chest almost crushed him to pieces the first time Maisie called him that, about a month ago, but he was growing to love hearing the nickname Aelin gave him come from his daughter’s mouth.

“Oh.” He looked back up to her. “And what do we do about the beach animals?”

Maisie crossed her arms. “Leave them alone because it’s their home.”

“Perfect.” He kissed the top of his daughter’s head. “Time for sunscreen.”

“You done, Buzzard?”

Rowan startled, snapping his eyes to the doorway and finding Aelin there. If he wasn’t on his knees already, he would be now.

Her pink bikini made his eyes linger, but was enough to make him train his eyes back to her face, and Rowan thanked Mala she was at least wearing denim shorts. He plastered on a smile, looking at her face. Not her pink bikini and exposed curves. Blonde hair—not the ends hugging her breasts—and blue eyes. He focused on her face.

It was a regular beach attire, but Aelin didn’t need much to take his breath away.

She smiled at her daughter, pointing at the lotion in Rowan’s hand. “Auntie Sellene can’t find Bree’s sunscreen, can you hand yours to them?”

Maisie got the tube from her dad and ran downstairs, a girl on a mission. After a quick peek in the hallway, Aelin closed the door and took a step closer to Rowan, her arms crossed.

“You sure you don’t wanna come?”

Rowan shook his head. “I got a thing.”

“You got a thing… in a city where you have no work, and half the people you know are going to the beach?”

His lips pressed together in a slight grimace. “I’m staying home with the other half.”

“Rowan, are you—“ Aelin took a step closer and lowered her voice before asking, “Are we alright?”

“Yeah.” His voice came higher than intended, then he corrected, “No. Um.” Rowan grimaced. “Actually, can we—“

“Come on, Aelin!” Sellene shouted from downstairs.

He gave her a close-lipped smile. “You should go.”

“Sure.”

She took a step back, eyeing him carefully before fully turning around. Rowan’s shoulders dropped in relief when she left. They needed to talk, yes, but Rowan needed to organize his thoughts before they did.

He waited in his room until the rental car drove off the garage, and headed towards his dad’s office. Rowan flinched every time the wooden floor creaked—he didn’t know why, since he wasn’t sneaking, but something about that moment made him want to go unnoticed. It wasn’t his childhood home, but it still had the same smell of baked goods and the same pictures on the wall. Except that now the pictures of Rowan as a kid were side-by-side with Maisie’s.

In one of the frames, he was wearing his daily camouflage uniform, while Aelin wore the hospital staff’s maternity uniform—white pants and a white wrap blouse she absolutely hated, but her blinding smile suggested she wasn’t worried about it at the moment. Rowan remembered it was taken on the day they moved into her house, but he never understood why his mother kept it there. She wasn’t even with them that day, Aelin texted her that one, but maybe she noticed how Aelin’s silly smiles and enormous bump broke his usual serious stance in pictures.

Rowan didn’t miss how she ignored his love confession yesterday.

He glanced at the watch at the end of the hall. It was almost time. He wanted a better way to look at things, but it was a difficult task. What was Rowan supposed to tell her? Hi. Remember when you made me realize the biggest mistake of my life, I confessed my love to you, and you stayed silent? I already have my rejection, I just need the complete humiliation to have some closure.

It could be a dramatic depiction of what he was going to say, but he couldn’t find a better way to put it right now.

Depending on how the conversation went, Rowan could even grovel enough to confess that he didn’t need Aelin to love him back, that was not his issue. If she chose to share her life with him, that’d be more than he could ever ask for.

But would that be what he deserves?

Deserving of her or not, Aelin is the mother of his child, the love of his life. He didn’t expect her forgiveness, but he couldn’t let go of her either.

He opened his dad’s computer and logged into his email to get the link. He opened Zoom two minutes early, but the meeting’s host was already there.

“Hey there!” Yrene cheered from his screen. “I wasn’t expecting your text, but it’s good to see you.”

This session had been canceled for a very long time, since he and Aelin decided to not do therapy during their vacation. However, it came in very handy that Rowan’s mental turmoil started a day before their weekly session was supposed to happen, so he texted Yrene asking if they could meet online.

Rowan tried to smile, but his expression was strained. “Did I crash your plans?”

“Not at all! I was going to lie on the couch and play Subway Surfers for an hour. It’s a good thing you called, since I’m always encouraging people to fight their vices.” Yrene leaned closer to her screen, as if it’d help her see Rowan’s better. “Where’s Aelin?”

He scratched the back of his head, fighting the unease in the bottom of his stomach. “It’s just me today.”

She straightened her posture, squaring her shoulders. “An individual session, then?”

Rowan nodded.

“Good!” Yrene cleared her throat and continued in a serious tone, “I mean, good. What made you take that decision?”

Rowan swallowed, fiddling with his fingers and steeling himself for what he was about to say. For the second time.

“I’m in love with Aelin.”

“Go on.”

He frowned. “You don’t look surprised.”

“I’m really not.” Yrene’s own blunt answer made her grimace. “What I mean is, I’ve been working with families for a long time. It gets easy to tell.”

“Sure.”

He looked at Yrene. She looked at him. He was the first one to break, darting a glance at the wall, feigning interest there to ignore the awkwardness of this situation. Rowan wasn’t used to leading conversations, Aelin and Yrene usually did that.

“Okay.” His therapist cleared her throat. “I’ll give you two options, and you’ll choose how we start: you can tell me what happened in your vacation, or we can talk about how you only choose therapy because of your family, never yourself.”

Rowan was halfway into a flinch when he schooled his expression. This wasn’t a difficult choice at all.

“We arrived here last Saturday…”

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#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #aelin ashryver galathynius #throne of glass #rowaelin fanfiction #rowan x aelin #aelin x rowan #rowaelin fanfic #throne of glass fanfic #look at us now

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wilsons-three-legged-siamese · 5 months ago

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NEW FIC ALERT???

Requested by @sleep-needer like 3 weeks ago, took me ages for no reason I do apologise-

Thank you to ml @lv3buzz for helping me with the last bit <33

Word count: 1.7k

Summary: Chases childhood and how he dealt with it.

Warnings: child abuse, neglect.

Say Goodbye to The Ones That we Love.

Only Chase knows why he has that scar on his head, and why he has so bad claustrophobia.

"Please! " He sobbed, trying to fight back his mother.

His mother, Jane, just kept ahold of him, her teeth gritting and eyes burning with fury. Chase kicked and screamed, desperately trying to get out of Jane's tight grasp. Yet, nothing worked, being a nine-year-old. Jane opened the door, threw the kid in and slammed the door behind him, locking it. Chase scrambled to the door, trying to turn the handle and pounding on the door frantically.

"Mummy!! Please! Let me out, " he begged.

It was no hope, it was never any hope, unfortunately. He briefly cleaned his tear stained face and sat curled up against the door. He brought his knees up to his chest, trying to even out his cut off breaths. He looked around the small, cramped office space. Until it hit him.

He was trapped.

Tears spewed from his eyes once again as his breathing drastically increased. His chest began to feel tight, as his heart rate fastened. With the shaking of his hands, he weakly brought them up to his ears and tucked his head in his knees. Everything was way too loud. He could hear the staggered steps of his mother, the beeping of the printer, it was all too much.

Suddenly, it was an hour later. He couldn't recall how long he'd been curled up, but his knees hurt now. He slowly let his legs slip in front of him as he looked around. Nothing had changed. His arms fell to his sides as the sound of his mother's snoring filled the blank noise. He almost sighed of relief, gradually getting up and browsing the books on his fathers bookshelf. He ran his finger over the spine of a couple dozen, carefully reading the titles. Soon, he picked a book. It was a nice colour of green, with a blue box in the middle with the words:

'Oxford Textbook of Medicine'

written on it. Chase was previously attracted to the colours, as he really liked the colour green. But, as he quickly flicked through the book, he saw fascinating diagrams of all sorts of anatomy. The labeling was extraordinary to him. He sat back down in his prior position and read through the pages, studying the pictures and skimming the words.

And that's when he decided he should be a doctor.

Every time he got locked into that room, he looked at one new book. He even managed to find a notebook and pen, jotting down little notes and scribbling rough diagrams. It gave him something to do, other than sit and wait helplessly for his mother to wake up or his father to come home unannounced. But once he'd read most of the books in the office (other than the ones on the top shelf), he became bored and fearful again. He dug around in his father's drawers, desperately trying to find maybe a hidden journal. Until, he found one. It was dusty, brown and quite battered. He picked it up and read the front of it.

'Melbournes rheumatology cases'

Although he couldn't read the second word, it seemed important as it was well hidden. He read the authors name, as he'd always been interested in people's names.

'Rowan Chase'

His mouth fell agape. Though he wasn't sure on the first name, he had heard his father being called 'Rohan' or something, and Chase was definitely their last names. He smiled giddily as he opened the book. But much to his surprise, there wasn't any diagrams. He frowned, skimming through the whole of the book to find a total of maybe 2 pictures. It was quite disappointing. Yet, he forced himself to read the book.

He yawned multiple times while reading, maybe that rheuma word wasn't for him. He closed the book with a grunt, pushing it aside and slumping against the door. He grabbed his pen and started to chew on it, he guesses it was something to do. So he gnawed on the pen. Until the plastic broke. He groaned, hurling the pen into the bookcase in frustration. He crossed his arms, pouting dramatically, until he heard a bloodcurdling scream from outside the door. That sounded like his mother.

He got up in a panic and pounded on the door.

"Mummy!!? What's wrong!! " He screamed.

Jane didn't reply, she just screeched again.

Chase scrambled to his feet and frantically looked at his fathers desk, scanning the well organised objects until he landed on the phone. Going through his memories, he remembered the emergency number. 000.

He hurriedly picked up the phone and dialed the number, impatiently waiting for the operator to answer.

"You have dialed Emergency Triple Zero, your call is being connected. "

He tapped his foot impatiently as he bit his lip. Jane continued to groan in the background. But finally, a Telstra Operator answered.

"Emergency. Police, fire or ambulance? "

"Am- ambulance, " Chase replied, his voice shaken and small.

The Telstra connected him with the ambulance line, them answering quickly to his call.

"Ambulance, what's your emergency? "

Chase gulped, "I- I don't know.. My mummy is screaming. "

"What's your name and age, sweetheart? "

"Robert, Robert Chase. I'm nine, " Chase muttered.

"Okay honey, and where are you? "

"My- my fathers office. "

"Well done sweetie, now can you stay on the line until the paramedics get here? "

"Mhm."

"Okay, good boy. Just keep talking to me okay? "

Chase kept talking to the nice operator until he heard a crash. He jumped, squeezing his eyes shut and placing his hand on his ear.

"Ma'am! Where is your son? "

A male American accent called, then Jane answered weakly. Just as Chase processed this, the door was opened in a strong force. Chase gasped, staring at open door and unfamiliar man in the doorway.

"Robert? " The man said softly, crouching in front of Chase.

Chase nodded, looking at the man with tears in his eyes.

"I'm Dr. House, your mum is okay. I need you to come with me. We'll keep you safe, " Dr. House explained, holding his hand out to let the little Chase grasp it.

He followed, trailing timidly behind the man. This Dr. House seemed quite nice. He had chestnut curls, piercing blue eyes and extremely chiseled facial features. He was clean shaven, but his hair was quite disheveled. Chase trusted him, though he was quite rude. Chase held tighter, suddenly feeling anxious. Once outside, Chase was loaded into an ambulance with House, getting strapped in and staring at the floor.

Lord this is gonna be a long night.

Chase sat, swinging his feet and sucking on a lollipop. He looked around at the foreign room, seeing a small kitchen, TV and some books. Books. His favourite. But, he had a lollipop so it was okay. Dr. House was sat next to him, grunting as he flicked through one of Chase's dads 'special daddy magazine's'.

"What's up with my mummy? " Chase suddenly asked, obnoxiously getting closer to House.

House scoffed, "natural process of having female anatomy. "

"Why? " Chase questioned, moving his sticky face closer to the man.

House pushed Chase down gently while rolling his eyes.

"Because your mum is female. "

"Why? "

"Because God wanted her to be. "

"Why? "

"Because God is a sexist bitch. "

"What's a bitch? "

"Female dog. "

"Why? "

"Shakespeare."

"What's that? "

House clenched his jaw and fist, ignoring the little Australian and going back to looking at the magazine. Chase gave up and continued looking around the quite bland room. There wasn't any colour or decorations, just a boring doctors staff room. He pouted, twirling the lollipop stick between his fingers as he'd finished the sweet.

The first time Chase realized he was taking care of his sister, was 3 months after she was born. After meeting Dr. House, after hearing his mother's screeching, after everything, he still didn't realize for 3 months that what he was doing wasn't normal. Only on his birthday did he realize.

"Mummy, why can't I have a party? I'm 10 now! " Chase exclaimed, trying to rock the crying baby and chasing after Jane.

"Shut up Robert! My god! " Jane shouted back.

She turned around sharply and kicked in the legs, causing him to yelp in pain and fall to his knees. He quickly held onto his baby sister, Bea, making sure she didn't fall. Jane speedily walked away to her room and slamming the door. Bea started to waile. Chase held her close and hushed her through his own crys, rocking her gently.

Now eleven-year-old Chase paced his kitchen, trying to think over the sound of the television. Jane drank heavily on the sofa, downing bottle after bottle of anything she could get her hands on. Chase audibly sighed, letting his gaze fall over to his hopeless mother. Bea slept restlessly in her cot, squirming because of the television noise. Chase noticed.

"Hey, ma, do you think you can maybe.. Turn the telly down a little? " Chase questioned scarcely, shuffling closer to the living room with hesitancy.

Jane abruptly turned around, letting her piercing blue eyes pierce through her son like a spear. Chase flinched as she brought her hand up, but she turned it down far much obnoxiously than necessary.

"That better for you, Robert? " She snarled, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

Chase nodded in fear and scurried back the kitchen, bringing his hand up to his heart and sighing of relief. Just as he thought he fixed it, the television started to blare again as Jane hiccuped. Chase rolled his eyes to himself as Bea started to whine. Chase picked her up and held her on his chest. He bounced on his heels up and down, rubbing his hands up her back and whispering phrases to her. He quickly snagged a bottle from the side, inspected it and offered it to her. she took it with her hands and popped the teat into her mouth and sucked. Chase leant against the counter, rocking her subtly. But as she realized the bottle wasn't warm, she hurled it across the room in a fit and wailed again.

"When will that godamn baby stop screaming?! " Jane shouted, now chucking a beer bottle at the two.

Chase ducked, holding on tightly to Bea as they barely missed the discarded object. Chase sank to the floor, now sobbing, trying to tend to Bea and the new cut on his head.

Only Chase knows why he has that scar on his head, and why he has so bad claustrophobia.

#house md #gregory house #robert chase #backstory #my fics #fics #rhis took ages #wils fics 🔥

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nerdieforpedro · 7 months ago

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Part Seven of "The Lake Between Us"

Merging Star Clusters

Ezra AU x Seraphina (plus size OFC)

Word Count: 1252

Warnings: surprisingly none! 😄

Summary: Ezra's got all his favorite ladies in one place. Seraphina and Cee finally meet.

Notes: Usually, Nerdie brings the family drama, but for Ezra (and my last slivers of sanity), I left that alone this time. This fic is easy, like Sunday morning or whenever you happen to read this.

Main Masterlist/ Ezra Masterlist/ The Lake between Us Series

Cee noted that something was different about her guardian when he stood next to his truck to pick her and Zoe up. He of course took their suitcases like always and brought them in for hugs, never judging her for her choice of partner. Some days, she thought he preferred she was with a woman, she remembered him always telling her “never fully trust anyone even me, but especially men. Leave them alone as long as possible.” She’d been pretty sure he was saying that because he was her father figure as most of them seemed to she heard from her friends. That said, he looked brighter, like he actually slept and put a bit of his weight back on. Cee would never be foolish enough to tell him that last part. Ezra tended to gather it around his belly which despite never mentioning it, she knew he was sensitive about it. She was waiting for him to mention it first. The reason for his positive change. They had spoken about the person in question for the first time a few months ago but only in depth a few weeks ago.

Zora, Cee’s girlfriend of the past year, was never one to mince words or be delicate. Cee appreciated her directness but also her kindness as she was never rude with questions of comments. “So Mr. Wordsmith, this lady friend of yours, is she just that or your partner in you looking like a million dollars?” Ezra had grown accustomed to Zora’s nicknames for his expansive vocabulary and he chuckled at her question as he turned down the main road that led to his home. About twenty more minutes now.

“She has become an essential fixture in my days and nights, so yes my partner.” Answering in a matter of fact manner without a full paragraph had Cee and Zora look at each other through his rear view mirror as Cee was sitting upfront.

“I’m still in shock. She’s got to be an angel or something.” Zora exclaimed, patting Ezra’s shoulders to which he continued to smile.

“Did you not tell Zora her name Cee?” Ezra asked with a raised eyebrow. Zora furrowed her brow at the blonde who appeared in thought.

“Wait, I thought I had. Her name is-“

“Seraphina. My lovely lady’s name is Seraphina.” Ezra hummed. Both women shivered.

“Please don’t say her name like that in front of us like that again. Save that for her.” Cee looked out the window, grinning. He’s smitten, the man who told her never to trust anyone is smitten.

“Never expected you to find an actual angel Mr. Ezra. Though I guess if anyone was, it would be you. You did find that 1st edition copy of ‘Love Poems’ by Nikki Giovanni for my twentieth birthday. Didn’t think one existed anymore.” Zora leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek as they pulled into the driveway and parked his truck. She hopped out along with Cee. Ezra went to grab their suitcases as the front door opened.

A woman clad in a yellow sundress with a bright smile and coiled hair up in a ponytail atop her head her copper skin shimmered from the humidity forming on her skin. She was wearing a bright fuschia lipstick on her full lips and wore blue rimmed glasses. She gave a small wave to which Cee and Zora matched. Ezra climbed the stairs and set the bags down to peck her lips then embrace her. The two young women collectively made an “ooo!”

“These two uncouth creatins are Zora and Cee. Despite their teasing, they are excited to meet you. They’re mainly having fun at my expense, not yours Sundrop.” His smile nearly hurt, it was from ear to ear. The women that made his life brighter were all gathered here under one roof. Was it alright that he felt this happy? That his nightmares weren’t as frequent? With everyone making their way into his home, he watched as Cee went to the kitchen with Sera and they hugged, rocking back and forth as Sera often did with her own family. Did that mean Seraphina saw Cee as part of her family? Wait…were the two of them family now? Shaking his head, he felt he may be getting ahead of himself.

Sundrop had already set the table while Ezra had been out. They just poured water and sweet tea and sat down together at the table. Eating and laughing all night, they asked each other questions. Eventually, Cee and Seraphina ended up outside on the porch to chat. They sat side by side, chuckling at how enamored both Zora and Ezra were with the books on the shelves.

“I sometimes think she’s more of his charge than I am.” Cee laughs as Ezra and Zora are seen through the window exchanging some heightened words over a hardcover book. Their hands are moving back and forth, both excited and likely talking a mile a minute.

“I can see why he took a liking to her. They’re discussing those volumes with quite the fervor.” Sera commenced and Cee nodded. She smiled at Sera.

“I can also see why he’s taken a liking to you. Just sitting with you is pretty relaxing. He looks a hell of a lot better than the last time I saw him.” Seraphina laughed and Cee gasped, “Ah sorry. I sometimes-”

“I know. Ezra told me. I don’t mind. I know he doesn’t like it. He’s not out here is he?” Sera chuckled and Cee relaxed again. Thankfully she was the same as she had been around the dinner table. Personable and kind. “We’ve helped each other. He’s got quite a few layers but they’re warm.” Seraphina then looked out over the water. Cee followed her eyes and peered at the lake too.

“I’ve never heard him described like that, but also you’re the only woman I’ve seen him bring to his house to meet me.”

“That’s…” Sera pressed her hands together and looked over at Cee. She knew things had become more serious between the two of them. The significance wasn’t lost on her. It fell in line with Ezra meeting her mother and subsequently her brothers at a family dinner. Her father met Ezra later that night after his part time job. “I suppose a lot has happened between us.

“In any case, it’s good for him. He doesn’t do well when he’s idle. He’ll say he’s just fine but-”

“That’s when the very bad ideas start and even longer than normal prose starts and never stops?” Seraphina and Cee laugh on that one as Zora exits the back door with Ezra holding a book of poems by Robert Frost.

“Can you believe he won’t let me borrow this?” Zora appears to be distraught, while Ezra’s arms are crossed defensively.

“The condition of the Langston Hughes poems speaks volumes to your treatment and care of books. I’ll not have the pages of my collection bent, ripped or stained.” Ezra argued. Cee and Seraphina watched as they bickered a bit more and ushered them inside the house.

Eventually, they simmered down and agreed that Zora could read it while staying at Ezra’s home and wouldn’t need to be supervised. Cee and Zora slept in Birdie’s old bedroom while Sera and Ezra retired to his. The soft taps of the wind on the sides of the house and the croaks of the crickets lulled them all to sleep for the night.

Interlude 2 Chapter eight

Chapter six

Taste-testers of Ezra’s gumbo 🍤: @rav3n-pascal22 @maggiemayhemnj @morallyinept @survivingandenduring @bonezone44 @magpiepillsjunior-deactivated20 @yorksgirl @gemmahale @missredherring @missladym1981 @alltheglitterandtheroar @megamindsecretlair @readingiskeepingmegoing @pedroshotwifey @tinytinymenace @inept-the-magnificent @vivian-pascal @jessthebaker

#pedro pascal characters #fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #ezra prospect #ezra prospect fanfiction #Ezra prospect fluff #Ezra prospect x ofc #the lake between us #nerdie fic

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nctsjiho · 2 years ago

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Trust Me One More Time

genre: angst, parent!au pairing: Haechan x oc, Haechan x female!oc, idol!Haechan, ex-idol!oc cw: (bad) parenting; arguing; talks about "giving up"; this is a really heavy fic (imo) with a heavy but hard to explain plot without spoiling it all, if u read this fic, feel free to stop whenever you feel uncomfortable

This is NOT part of the same NCT addition!JiHo AU. Think of this as an alternate version of that universe or part of the imagine series I have done so far under 'writer.answers'. If you are stumbling upon my blog for the first time, this is a standalone fic u can read pretty much without knowing anything about my oc.

❀ Being new parents isn't easy. Still being able to care for his child while being an idol, Haechan can't seem to understand the mother of his child's struggles.

“Don’t cry, baby,” the new father cooed as he walked towards the cot, having just returned from work. He leaned over the bed to find his son’s restless body. Despite not being able to move much, the little baby had mustered all his strength to reach his tiny arms out once he saw his father. “What’s gotten you so upset?” Haechan asked with a pout as he brought the baby up in his arms. “Let’s get you something to eat.”

Haechan ignored the figure on the couch as he decided to retrieve a bottle of milk for his child first. When he returned to the living room he sat down on the couch, still skillfully handling the baby in his arms and started to give him his milk. “There you go,” he whispered softly before turning to the mother of his child.

“Why didn’t you feed him?”

An exhausted, emotion-filled sob left Jiho’s lips. “I tried, but he wouldn’t eat,” she told him while she still didn’t make eye contact with him.

“How long ago was that?”

“I don’t remember.”

Silence filled the rather dark room, only lit up with a small yellow-toned table lamp. It wasn’t a comforting silence. The tension between the two adults was only thickening, so much so that it seemed like Dongmin—their child—felt it as well. The 4 month year old had stopped drinking for a significant amount of time, causing Haechan to look back down at him which seemed to comfort him as he started to drink again. “So what? Were you planning to let him starve? He’s eating just fine now.”

“It wasn’t that long ago,” Jiho whispered again.

“Maybe he’s scared because you’re acting like that.”

That's where the conversation ended for the moment. Haechan finished feeding the baby and moved him to the nursery where another cot was. He waited for Dongmin to fall asleep before returning to the living room, where Jiho still sat.

“This is exactly what I mean,” he sighed and blatantly motioned over her form. “You’re sitting there like you’re straight out of a horror movie. With your hair in your face, wearing the same clothes that you’ve been wearing for a week now. Jiho!” he suddenly yelled her name, getting her to look at him. “Get a hold of yourself.”

Haechan was almost begging her at this point, he was getting tired as well.

“I tried—”

“Try harder! This isn’t just any child, this is our child.” By now, Haechan had kneeled down in front of her. “You’ve always been amazing with children. What’s different now?”

“He’s… our child.”

Haechan shook his head as if he was in disbelief and moved even closer to Jiho. He pulled her legs down off the couch away from her chest and wrapped his arms loosely around her waist. “All the more reason for you to love him. You love him don’t you?”

“He doesn’t like me.”

“It’s only been 4 months, Jiho,” he told her as his hand softly caressed her lower back. It had become a habit since during the last months of her pregnancy she always complained about her lower back and he always gave her massages for it. “You just need to spend more time with him—”

“I’m always here! Haechan, I’m the one who gave up on being an idol for this. I’ve been with him ever since—”

“You never call Dongmin by his name.”

Jiho pushed Haechan away and threw her head back in annoyance. Once she sat back straight, causing Haechan to see her face again, he could see that angry tears were running down her cheeks. “Your son hates me.”

“He’s our—”

“HE’S NOT MY CHILD!”

Those words took Haechan by surprise. In his shocked state he couldn’t even notice Dongmin starting to cry in his nursery—probably having heard the commotion from his parents. “How could you say that?”

“I had to give up everything! I stayed with him ever since he was born and did everything for him because you said we could do this. You said we would be great parents. I— I’m not a good mother, Haechan,” she confessed.

“I can’t get him to eat anymore. He won’t take bottles from me, he doesn’t even like me holding him. He cries the whole day if you aren’t here. How can I be a good mother if he doesn’t even like me?”

At this point Jiho had crashed onto her knees on the floor and started sobbing. The Jiho that was crying in front of him wasn’t the Jiho Haechan used to know. She wasn’t the girl—now woman—that he once fell in love with.

“Then try harder.”

Hearing those words, Jiho looked up at him in disbelief. Haechan was hovering over her with a hard to read expression on his face.

“What?” Her voice sounded a lot smaller than she expected it to sound.

“I’m not here to work the whole day, to provide for our son only for you to sit here and cry because you’re having a hard time feeding him. Maybe if you breastfeed him like the doctor told you to, Dongmin would trust you more.”

Confusion washed over Jiho as she didn’t expect Haechan to suddenly turn on her and sound so condescending. “What are you talking about? You knew I never wanted to breastfeed even before he was born. You knew this.”

“I want to help you Jiho, I really do. I know that we should’ve been more careful, that you put your trust in me and it’s my fault that we have a child now, but Dongmin is beautiful. He was an accident, but he’s the happiest little accident that I cannot get myself to regret. I know I broke your trust before, but ever since we found out you were pregnant I’ve never left your side. Can you please trust me again? We can do this together, okay? Isn’t that enough?”

Haechan had pulled Jiho closer to him, holding her by her forearms as he asked for her trust once again. However, Jiho started to shake her head.

“It’s not enough, Haechan. I’ve been scared ever since I found out I was pregnant. I’m still scared and you haven’t acknowledged it until now. Hell, I still don’t know if you realise it. The only reason I haven’t— the only reason I went through with it all is because it’s made you happy.”

“I—” Haechan stopped himself from speaking, feeling frustration rise in his body once again. “Let’s talk about this during dinner, okay? You order whatever you like. I’ll go check on Dongmin, we woke him up again.”

Jiho didn’t respond, but Haechan didn’t wait for a response anyway. He had already turned to go to the nursery, where he found his little boy crying once more. The baby was a bit fussy, but instantly calmed down once his father picked him up and swayed him around for a bit. “Your momma is a good person. She’s just really scared and appa hasn’t been very patient or considerate of her. Don’t tell her I said this, but I still love her very much.” Haechan chuckled a bit at how pathetic he sounded, but quickly shrugged it off. He placed a soft kiss on his son’s forehead before placing him back down in his cot. Dongmin fell asleep instantly.

Haechan took a little moment to regain himself before walking back into the living room. “Jiho,” he called out for her, but there was no response. “Jiho?” When she still didn’t answer and he couldn’t see her when peering through the door to the kitchen, Haechan decided to look through the whole house.

He checked Jiho’s room first. Haechan had never stood still by the fact that her room was pretty much empty since the first day they moved into the house. It had none of her personality and although Jiho was more of a minimalist, Haechan remembered how her dorm rooms from the time she was still an idol were filled with little trinkets. She used to always hold onto meaningful—and even meaningless—gifts from the members and fans. This room only held a bed, a dresser, a bookshelf and a chair she would read those books in.

Moving on—not forgetting to knock on the bathroom door and checking if it was empty—Haechan walked through all the rooms in the house until he reached his own bedroom. His room was right next to Dongmin’s nursery, only separated by an ensuite bathroom.

“Jiho?” He pushed the door open hoping though not expecting Jiho to be inside. As he predicted, there was no one in his room. He looked around and noticed the two pictures on his dresser. One of them was of him and Jiho while they were still coworkers. They were younger, though not by much and they seemed incredibly happy. The second picture was of them a few weeks after Dongmin was born. Haechan was the one holding Dongmin while Jiho sat next to him. She looked visibly tired in the picture, something that Haechan hadn’t noticed before. He also realised that in every picture that they have together, Haechan was always the one holding Dongmin. The only exception being the picture of when the doctor handed Jiho Dongmin when he was just born.

Returning to the living room, Haechan had dialled Jiho’s number, hoping she would pick up and explain she was just picking up some food at their favourite Thai place down the street. Something stopped him dead in his tracks though, when Haechan noticed something missing. It took him a second to clock what he had seen—or had not seen—before he set out in a panic.

The sweater he was wearing the whole day and had dropped on one of the chairs in the living room when he returned from work was missing. He walked towards the front door and Jiho’s shoes—the ones that she could slip onto easily whenever they decided to go on a quick walk—were gone. “Ji…”

With a deep, shaky exhale, Haechan slipped on his own shoes and ran towards the neighbours door. At the urgent knocks on the door a woman in her mid to late 30’s opened the door and asked what was wrong. “Mrs. Choi, please look over Dongmin for a while. He’s sleeping in his cot in the nursery.”

Mrs. Choi nodded quickly. “What’s wrong? Where is Jiho? Is everything okay?” she fired the questions as soon as she noticed something must’ve been horribly wrong.

“I don’t know, I— I’ll be back,” Haechan yelled out in a hurried stuttering mess before running down the stairs towards the street.

He started taking off to that favourite Thai place over there, only to be confronted by the sign he forgot about. Closed permanently in big black letters letters on the door. “God damnit,” Haechan cursed, turning around and starting to run the other way, not knowing where to go.

“Haechan?” A familiar voice stopped him.

With a relieved sigh, Haechan ran up to the old owner of the Thai restaurant. “Sir, have you seen Jiho?”

“Your wife?” Not having the time to correct the older man, Haechan nodded. “I’m sorry, Haechan. I haven’t seen her. Why? What’s—”

“I’m sorry! I have to go!” Haechan yelled as he hurried further down the street continuously trying to reach JiHo’s phone that she wouldn’t pick up.

Sweat was beating down his face and if he wasn’t so preoccupied with other thoughts, he would’ve thought he was close to having a heart attack with how hard his heart was beating. “Jiho!”

When he finally reached the park he frequented with Jiho and Dongmin, he stopped to catch his breath again. He took a few moments, his hands were shaking violently.

“Jiho… I— You’re an amazing mother. If there’s one thing I want you to know, then it would be that you are the bravest woman I know. You trusted me despite me giving you the life you hated. Yet you still stuck with it. You still try to take care of Dongmin despite having a hard time. If you were a bad mother— You would’ve given up by now, but you didn’t.

“I don’t deserve you, Jiho. But— Dongmin needs you. He needs a mother like you. Please… Jiho please don’t give up. I love you—”

Beep beep beep~

---

READ PART 2 HERE

S/N: idk what tag to post this under so for now I'll use jiho.writings and post it on the main writing masterlist under it's own thingy. Might be subject to change, so if u don't find it under that masterlist it will be on my main pinned masterlist.

masterlists: main masterlist || jiho.writings masterlist

#jiho.writings #nct 24th member #haechan angst #nct angst #nct imagines #nct haechan angst #haechan imagines #nct haechan imagines #nct female addition #nct dream angst #nct 127 angst #nct additions #nct added member #nct female member #nct additional member #nct addition #nct extra member #kpop!addition #kpop!oc

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zozo-01 · 2 years ago

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And The Sunlight That Divides Them

After a extensive conversation in the Discord [brought to you by @sri-rachaa and @gingerbreadmonsters] got me thinking about an old idea of a conversation between Alexis and Darlin'. And then @autisticempathydaemon and @cascadiiing decided to add more fuel to that fire, so here we are!!!

[Also tagging @beemybella, @epsi-l0n, @daveyistheloml and @teasandcardigans because they are both gems and I adore them and Mads is the biggest Alexis fan I know!!! Plus, tagging the ever talented and lovely @spookybeandoodle for setting me off on this Alexis/Darlin' journey monthsss ago!!!]

CW: This is me writing about Alexis in a somewhat positive light, so if you're expecting bitchy Alexis (let's be honest, I can't blame you), this is not the fic you wanna read, that outta way, Suicide Attempt, talking about the events of Sam's turning, Darlin' bringing up their own past with Quinn

click here for the ao3 link!!!

Perhaps this was the greatest benefit of being a vampire.

The ability to choose to end your life.

A vampire does not age. They do not fall victim to mortal sickness and there aren’t natural predators that can efficiently hunt them. Should a vampire decide they had enough, that they have lived a fulfilling life, they can end their second lease on life. They can choose to live for a thousand years, or for a day in their new lives, but should they decide to move on, they can walk gracefully to the shore between life and death.

After 40 years, Alexis Solaire had decided she had enough.

She stared at the shadow's edge, looking at the light-filled kingdom she was banned from. How long had it been since she felt the warmth of… anything, let alone the sun’s warm rays? She longed for it, for the glow of the sunset reflecting her eyes, or the warm summer breeze. But alas, her choice had relegated her to the darkness, the only light in her life was the moon reflecting the sunshine.

There… there had been a time when she felt warm. When she was sharing a bed with a certain freelancer. He made her blood sing with every kiss and bruise he left behind. Those gestures had meant nothing to him, but for her? They were everything. He was proof that she wasn’t a hellion, a wildfire ready to burn anything to the ground. That she could feel love, true, authentic and heart-wrenching love.

It was a shame that no person could change her nature and that he was caught in her flames.

She shook her head. That relationship, him, was long ago. He even was moving on.

With a mate, no less.

She thought of the wolf that had walked into the Solaire Clan meeting. A snide remark was on the tip of her tongue, a comment about how pups shouldn’t be around such dangerous creatures, but the words lodged themselves in her throat. She noticed the soft, love-filled smile he gave them.

The same smile she would give Sam behind his back.

Of course in her dying thoughts, she was thinking about him. How could she not? She was the greatest mistake of his life, and she has to live with that guilt.

Well… Assuming she had to live longer…

Like a bride walking down the aisle, she walked toward the sunlight. With every step, she thought of how the people in her life would react to the news of her death, if they even cared at all.

Out of everyone, William would be the most upset. He was her maker, the reason for her second life, and here she was throwing it away. Would William invoke her to stop her from dying? A selfish part of her wanted to say that yes, William would defy her will to die to keep her here as an act of love. That she too was justified in saving Sam, even if he didn't want to be.

But no, William would never do that. He was too good for that. Instead, he’d hug her, tell her how much she means to him and let her walk to her doom.

Another step was taken and another name appeared in her mind.

Vincent? Would he miss her? She really couldn’t tell you. Some days they were bantering as if they were siblings. She was the older sister with a bad attitude and he was the little shit younger brother. On other days, they were at each other’s throats, fangs cutting the other’s skin and words cutting deeper wounds in their hearts. She let out a sigh. If Vincent misses her, it’s because of all the new responsibility he'd gain as the older progeny.

Yet again, Sam's name crossed her mind and made her stop midstep. Sam would never miss her. In fact, he’d throw the biggest celebration ever with his mate. She can picture his lovely, happy face aimed at them.

But he was happy and that's what she wants. She may not love him the same way, but she wants him happy.

God knows it’s the bare minimum he deserves from her for taking everything away.

She continued walking to her doom. With every step, she can feel the sun’s burn on her skin. It felt amazing to feel the sun’s warmth again.

As she neared the edge, she approached with a singular thought in her head.

‘Goodbye world, may you be less cruel now that I’m not in it.’

Alexis Solaire was dead.

“Hey! Watch out, there’s sunlight here!”

Or that’s what would have happened had a giant wolf not tackled her to the ground.

Instead of burning in the sun, she quickly changed course and accepted that her death would be at the hands of a shifter. Of course, what was she thinking? That she deserved to feel the sun’s warmth after everything she’s done? After taking away Sam’s ability to bask in its glow? Being mauled by a shifter is the only way her story can end. Bloody and painful, and with no one being able to recognize her.

The wolf shifted back into their human form and familiar stubborn-glint eyes looked down upon her.

How fucking poetic was it that Sam’s mate, his Darlin’, would be the one to send her to her second grave. This had to be the universe playing a cruel joke on her. You couldn’t make this up.

But… where was the pain? Why weren’t they mauling her? Were they feeding off their misery? Using it to power them to rip her till she’s unrecognizable?

Just end her pathetic life… please… if there was a mercy the universe can grant her, let it be to have this be her final memory.

“And they fucking call me reckless! Seriously, what self-respecting vampire walks into the sun? Didn't they teach you that shit in vampire school?” The shifter paused to ponder. “Are there even vampire schools?” There was no way her grim reaper in wolf fur was asking her about vampire schools. Where had they even gotten the idea they exist?

The only thing Alexis could do in her shock-filled state was answer truthfully.

“I- No, there aren’t vampire schools for newborns.” Is this a dream? Had she already died and this was… hell? She can reasonably accept that seeing the partner of the man she loved so much after she dies means that she’s in hell. Wait, is Sam’s mate a secret deathwalker? It’s the only explanation that she could fathom for why they of all people were here in her final moments.

The shifter chuckled and scoffed at her answer. “Maybe they should start,” they said while getting up off her. They held out their arm, a strange gesture Alexis was not used to. A gesture of pure kindness. “Tell you what, one of us can bring it up at the next meeting, yea?”

A second passed. They would understand she didn’t deserve their help. Maybe the sun was in their eye? They couldn’t see whom they saved. Yes, that had to be what happened. There was no way Sam’s mate would save her if they knew who she was.

A minute passed. Ok, this was getting weird. The shifter hadn’t moved an inch, their hand still offering to help her up. You could say that it's a sad fact that Alexis isn’t used to receiving anything devoid of any mal intentions, but in her defence, she is Alexis Solaire. She is no stranger to roses. The offerings may seem beautiful, but there were always thorns to be considered.

Perhaps you can call it a tragedy that the extended arm was the first time Alexis was offered a thornless rose.

“We don’t got all day and I gotta get home before a certain someone starts calling.” Their sharp features became soft and their eyes lightened at the mention of this other person. A lifetime ago, it was she who became gentle at the thought of him.

Does the wolf know how lucky they are to be allowed to think of Sam lovingly? To not hide their affection for the man? To outwardly express their love for him?

Do they know that Alexis of the past would kill to be in their place?

She already tried that, to kill for Sam’s love. You already know how that story ends.

She placed her hand in the wolf’s hand. Her tight grip is light enough to remove immediately, a show of her fear of their ulterior motives. Again, could you blame her? She is and forever will be the helion of the Solaire Clan. There were countless who want her dead, and she was sure that his Darlin’ wishes for her death for revenge.

She couldn’t exactly blame them. A life for a life and all that.

She shook the dirt and dust off her clothing. Clearing her throat, she asked the wolf in front of her a question she desperately needs the answer to.

“Do you know who I am?”

They furrowed their eyebrows and blink repeatedly. They seem to contemplate the question. From their face, you’d assume that Alexis spoke in a language foreign to them. Such a simple question should not cause them such confusion. Did she say something wrong? Had she fuck up a potential relationship with the one person who didn’t hate her immediately?

Typical Alexis to burn bridges before they can be built.

The wolf scoffed. “I’d be an idiot if I didn’t know who you are. You’re Alexis Solaire.”

So the wolf did know who she was? This… made things more complicated.

For who in their right mind would save a damned soul like hers?

“... You… you know who I am… and you still saved me?” Alexis tilted her head in confusion. There had to be a mistake. She needed to make absolutely sure that this wolf didn’t mistake her for someone else.

“Uh, of course? Did you expect to watch you walk into the sun?”

Maybe Alexis can be a little naive. Just for this moment. Maybe she can pretend that the wolf saved her, despite all logic saying otherwise.

For so long, Alexis longed for love. To be someone’s world.

Now? Alexis just wants a friend. Maybe they can be that…

No, she couldn’t do that to Sam. It’s cruel of her to take advantage of their ignorance. She hurt their lover, and she shouldn’t even be talking to them. She just has to figure out if Sam had told them the events of his turning without giving everything away. That was his story to tell, and for as much as she has taken from him, she will never take away his chance to tell his story.

“Well… if everything is done here, I should probably be back and,” they held her arm before continuing, “if you ever think about doing something stupid like that again, I’m sure William would be willing to listen. I mean, personally, I like talking to him because he has that calming voice.” They mumbled under their breath, something about it being a miracle they found a french accent soothing. Alexis would have to ask about that later, assuming later would ever happen.

The wolf turned and began to walk away. Closer and closer to the forbidden kingdom that she was banned from.

In an impulsive act, Alexis yelled out, “wait! Can I talk to you?”

The wolf stopped in their tracks and walked back towards the vampire princess. “You? Want to talk with me?” Confusion laced their town and shock was on their face. She can hear the thoughts running through their head. ‘What the hell does a vamp princess like her want to do with me?’

Alexis opened her mouth, but no words came out. Perhaps she was a bit in over her head, and maybe she should have written a script or some bullshit like that, but you know what? She is Alexis Goddamn Solaire. And she will speak her mind.

“Um- What Sam might have told you about me… I don’t know if he’s told you, but I just want to let you know-”

The wolf cut her off, and the warmth in their voice gave away to cold steel.

“Sam told me everything about that night.”

Oh. So they know about that night. And she just reminded them of her greatest mistake.

Well, there goes that. The one singular person whom she thought she could befriend knows about her worst night ever. And if they were willing to overlook that when they saved her, they certainly won’t now that she brought it up with her own mouth.

Dear, Sweet Alexis. Always burning bridges before they could be built.

“You knew all that, and you still saved me?” If all the deities in human history could spare kindness, it would be an answer to this question.

The wolf scoffed. “You know I hate saying the same thing over and over again, so I’ll say this one last time. I saved you because I saw you walking into the sun like you wanted a damn tan.” They crossed their arms, shifting their weight to their right leg. “Is there anything else you want from me?”

Alexis stuttered. It is always a bad situation when Alexis is stuttering. It meant she wasn’t prepared for an outcome, and Alexis always came prepared.

“I’m sorry- it’s just… it’s just that- I never thought you of all people would save me since I… I turned…” She fidgeted with the rings on her hands. “Besides it will be better for everyone, especially him, he probably wants me dead-” Once again the wolf granted her mercy by cutting her off.

“Look, whatever history you and Sam have with each other is between you two. I heard what you did to him, but it ain’t my business to inflict pain on you because of that.” Their steady voice went quiet and they looked at the ground. “And… don’t say it’ll be better if you’re dead. There are people who care for you and want you alive.”

There was nothing Alexis could do but laugh. At the absurd reality that she resides in a reality where the mate of the man whom she forcibly turned was telling her to stay alive. Between her dry laughs, she said, “I’m sorry, it’s just, I find it hard to believe that anyone would want me alive, especially Sam. Why would he or you or anyone care for a bitch like me?”

Once again, the sharp features of the wolf softened and their voice became comforting. “I don’t think Sam would care, whether you were alive or dead. It doesn’t matter, as long as you are out of his life, he’s content.”

“But just because he doesn’t care, doesn’t mean I don’t as well.”

With one single line, Alexis’s view of herself shattered.

She had thought- no, she knew that she was beyond help, beyond saving. She was content with burning herself alive if it meant she could remain the cold, callous bitch many think of her. Was it the most positive outlook of her? Absolutely not. But ignoring the fact that the perceptions of people are rooted in some fact (no matter how little), this helion version of Alexis keeps her safe.

She was no longer the scared girl trying to escape the unwanted marriage she was destined for. The one who begged William to give her a new life. The one who lay awake while Sam was going through his bloodlust, feeling the vitriol and hatred rightfully directed at her.

No, instead she was Alexis Solaire. Cold-hearted. Uncaring. Untouchable. Safe.

But this wolf, who she was still in shock was still talking to her, was making it hard to maintain her well-earned, yet perhaps not deserved, reputation.

Or maybe, they were teaching her that she could be more than that.

A sad smile bloomed on her face, tears building up in her eyes. Finally, she has met someone whom she can lower her guard around. She could just be her and not what people expected her to be. She couldn’t even do that around Sam. (She doubled back on that last thought. Was the wolf becoming more meaningful to her in the few minutes she has met them than Sam was during their relationship?)

“May I ask you one last question? And whatever your answer may be, please don’t sugar coat it, I need to know your truth.” The wolf furrowed their eyebrows and nodded hesitantly, prompting the princess to continue. “Since you know about that night… Was turning Sam a mistake?”

For a split second, the wolf’s eyes flared with anger. She could imagine that they were ready to unleash their fury over Sam onto her, and she was ready to take it all.

But the shifter had other plans.

Instead of burning Alexis alive like she has been doing to herself for years, they paused and composed themselves. What had made them rethink their answer, she doesn’t know, nor did she feel right asking them. And she was content with never knowing.

(What Alexis hadn’t known was that Darlin’ could see the guilt on her face, fresh as the day of the accident. They know that look and feeling all too well, and resorting to anger would only prove to themselves that they are their worst fear. So they give her the grace they were never granted as a child.)

They bit their lip and answered honestly. “If you’re asking me if I think you were right for turning Sam against his will, I’m sorry, but I can’t justify that.” They clenched their eyes shut, and Alexis thinks that they are holding back their own memories. She wonders who was in those memories, for what monster would dare hurt a kind soul such as theirs.

In any case, there was no need to keep Sam’s mate with her any longer. She waves a hand to dismiss the wolf. “I understand, it was the answer I was expecting anyways.” She turned to walk off like she hadn’t planned for that day to be her last, but the shifter had other plans.

“But I don’t blame you!”

She stopped, the words of the wolf echoing in her head. “But I don’t blame you.” How could they not blame them? She took away his agency from that night. She damned him to be confined to his house when the beautiful sun was out. If there was anyone to blame for that night, it was her.

“You’re wrong, I was the one who fucked it up like I always do! I should be the one to take the fall for my own actions!” She hadn’t realized that her voice had gotten higher, but the shock at the wolf’s kindness was leaving her spiralling.

“What you did that night was terrible, and I hope no one has to ever go through that again. But you were put between a rock and a hard place, and you made the decision that you thought was best.” They sighed and looked up to the sky. “I’m not that dumb to not consider what was going through your head.”

For the first time in a long time, Alexis was stunned and silent. She was expecting claws and teeth and anger to be thrown at her, it’s what she deserves and what she has gotten in the past. But the shifter had done something no one else had ever done for her. They considered her side of the story. Maybe- no, her side of the story wasn't the most important on the night of the accident, but they had still thought about her and what she went through her worst moments.

She wasn’t used to that level of thoughtfulness being granted to her. (Maybe the wolf had earned the nickname darlin’?)

They cleared their throat and continued. “The decision itself was never the moral one,” they said with an air of finality in their voice.

(It was a statement they truly believed with their whole heart. They had been on the wrong side of vampire fangs and thinking about Sam going through that made their heartache. But looking at the vampire princess’s guilty face made them feel uneasy. They could feel the familiar bubbles of sympathy in their soul. Damn their empathetic heart cursing them to quell her guilt, though it is an urge they’ll gladly fulfill.)

With a softer tone, they added, “but if all decisions were made with the “right” morality in mind, the world would be a better place.” Alexis looked puzzled at that statement, so the wolf clarified. “What I mean is… a perfect world cannot exist. Some mistakes must be made and they prove that this reality is real. Besides, who am I to judge you based on your past when I have one as well.”

“The only person who can judge you is the one you hurt from that night, and he has made his feelings clear.”

Didn’t she know that. She’s been feeling his loathe for her for the last thirteen years.

Oddly enough, Alexis had finally felt some closure over that night. Having someone acknowledging that yes she made a mistake, but there was no other option available alleviated some of the burdens. Who would have thought it would be Sam's lover releasing her from her emotional turmoil.

“If you don’t mind me asking a question,” they hesitantly inquired.

Alexis was sure that they were the politest person they have ever met, and she was convinced she doesn’t deserve half of it. She nodded. “Go on.”

“Do you still love Sam?”

“No.” It was an answer that sounded forced and rehearsed, like she was practicing it just for this exact moment, but it didn’t make it any less true. “You learn to let go after constant rejection.”

They tilted their head and furrowed their eyebrows in confusion. “You can tell me to fuck off if this is overstepping, but why hold on to the pain? Why not move on?”

She let out another forced laugh. “Because I’m the villain of this story? And when does the villain ever get the happy ending?” The intense stare of concern from the wolf had Alexis dropping her act again. “Sam was my first, true love. I may not love him anymore, but I don’t think I’m ever going to get over him.”

“Funny enough, I thought the same thing about Quinn.”

Alexis had almost doubled over that. Someone as caring as them? Being in love with Quinn? The thought was revolting, they deserved better than the sadistic vampire, but Alexis found it fitting that their bleeding heart would feel sorrow and care for a monster like him. She could use that same argument with her.

“Yea, I know I was dumb for thinking that, but I deadass thought I was gonna be with him forever.” They sighed. “But that wasn’t how shit went. I was distraught after we broke up and I was the one who ruined it-”

“You’re too good to be hung up over someone like him.” Alexis had cut them off with venom in her voice. “You gave him more love and attention than a monster like him deserves.”

They blinked a couple of times and laughed. “Oh you’re absolutely right he didn’t deserve shit from me. But the fact that I loved him and was able to move on doesn’t change.” They held her hands against their chest. “Alexis Solaire, if I can move on from Quinn, then you can move on from Sam.”

Before Alexis could voice her doubts, the shifter’s phone started ringing, and of course, it was their southern vampire. They picked up the phone and greeted him with a “hi baby.” How adorably cheesy and sweet, yet absolutely fitting for them.

She makes sure she doesn’t listen to their phone call, if only to respect Sam’s privacy. She made a hundred percent sure that Sam didn’t know she was there. What he didn’t know, didn’t kill them.

Hanging up, the wolf turned to Alexis with a rueful smile. “I’m sorry, but Sam wants me back and I know if I don’t show up soon, he’s gonna rip the forest apart trying to find me.” They fondly chuckle at Sam’s potential reaction. “Don’t let the past drag you down Alexis, and once you do that, you’ll be able to live again. Don’t pass through your own life like you’re a ghost.”

She nodded, eyes once again filling up with tears at the thought of someone believing in her. “Ok, I’ll try. Thank you, for saving me today.” They did it in more ways than one.

They waved their hand dismissively. “Ahhh, it was nothing! Just doing what any decent person would do!”

“There aren’t many people as kind as you are out there. Do not let this cruel world harden your heart.”

Their eyes widened and turned their head away, flustered at the kind words. “I’ll try. See you around Lexi!” And with that, they shifted into their animal form, a large white wolf, and ran back to the cabin where her progeny resides.

How on earth did a wolf manage to change her outlook on everything in such a short amount of time? Alexis understood why he fell for them. Their energy was addicting, and it nourished her in a way not even the most exquisite blood could.

Alexis had spent the last forty years in cold static, everlasting and never changing, content with having life pass her by. But the wolf had made her feel something she never expected to revel in again. Even the lovestruck days with her unwilling progeny hadn’t brought this sensation back to her.

The wolf’s kindness, their care, their genuine need to help her…

…It felt like sunlight.

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted alexis #redacted darlin #remember! if you don't like alexis #you're under no obligations to read or like or reblog this post #zo writes tingz #this is zo speaking

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