#also I do not know everything about Karl so I went with the flow

[thatbigbisexual29]

Opposite Day (ATSP)

*pant pant pant* I"VE DONE IT! THE FIC IS COMPLETE! Sorry it took so long guys, this was a little hard to write for some reason? This one is a little short and has more of buildup than tickling, but the next one I know you all will really enjoy! Anyways, eat up my beauties! And as always, thank's for the kind words and enjoy ;)

“Gwendie. I don’ mind you stayin’ at mah place, but could you get offa me?” Hobie asked as the girl had her feet planted near Hobie’s face. The two were chilling at Hobie’s place and Gwen had the audacity to walk in, unannounced, approach Hobie as he laid on his couch, and fully laid on top of him. Gwen, not even bothering to fight back her mischievous, shit-eating grin, looked up and pretended to think about it.

“Nah, I’m good.” She then picked up a nearby magazine and began flipping through the pages. With a small growl, Hobie then smirked, an idea popping into his head.

“Y’know, Gwendie, s’actually opposite day in this universe. So, fank you.” He lifted up one of his legs and let Gwen fall to the floor with a loud grunt. She glared back with an offended and shocked look, a slight smile to her open mouth as she scoffed. Hobie smirked and stood up, walking to the small kitchen.

“You jerk!” Gwen accused as she stood up and jogged to him, poking her head in behind him. Just then, keys jiggled against the doorknob as Karl Morningdew, aka Captain Anarchy, entered the building. Hobie smirked, immediately creating a plan in his head.

“Oi, Karl! Is Opposite Day, no?” he called behind him.

Without skipping a beat, Karl walked past them while reading a (probably stolen) magazine and said, “Course not. Comes ‘round this time of year every year. Why?”

God how Hobie loved him. Not even two seconds in the door and he’s already playing along with his games. That’s how Hobie knew he had a great friend. Gwen looked shocked and perturbed at the same time. The look on her face was pure confusion. Hobie fought down his laugh.

“See?” He gestured, a smirk on his face as he looked at Gwen. “‘S Opposite Day. Get used to it~”

Gwen groaned, as any other teen would do, and crossed her arms in a huff.

“Since when do you follow rules?” she asked.

“I just do what pisses someone else off.” Hobie gave her a broad, cheeky smile and returned to his teabag. Gwen rolled her eyes and returned to the couch, laying across the cushions. She flipped through the channels, searching for anything mind numbing to watch. Karl sat on the (broken) armchair and flipped through his magazine quietly. Hobie came back and lifted up Gwen’s feet to make room for himself.

“Oi, leave dis one on,” Hobie said. Gwen scoffed a laugh.

“You watch the Great British Baking Show?”

“Don’t you dare mock that show, Gwen,” Karl piped up, “Hobie is very passionate about nice old ladies making cakes and promoting their local businesses.”

“Bofa yous can suck it,” Hobie grumbled, sipping on his tea as the two laughed at him. But Hobie had the last laugh when he saw them both deeply engrossed in the show twenty minutes later. They even started commenting aloud, talking about which contestant was more screwed. Like you can do any better, Hobie retorted in his head. As the show went on, one of the bakers decided to make a cake shaped and decorated to look like an electric guitar. This brought back sudden memories of the prank that was pulled on his own guitar not even a week ago. Then, he realized Gwen still had her feet on his lap. What a perfect opportunity for revenge.

Hobie set his tea on a side table and innocently put his hands in his lap. Then, acting as if he was bored, started to graze his fingers on Gwen’s soles. Her feet twitched and she gave him an odd look.

“Hobs, what are you doing?” she asked, about to move her feet. Hobie quickly caught her ankles and forced them to stay on his thigh.

“Y’know, Tabitha’s cake reminded me o’ somefin. De electric guitar look, yeah? Woulda been mor interestin’ if she used… noodles.” Hobie growled out that last word.

Gwen’s eyes bulged out of her skull as she tried to scramble away, acting like a cat just got thrown into a bathtub. Hobie cackled loudly and wrapped an arm around her ankles and pulled her close, scribbling all over her soles. Gwen barked out a surprise laugh and immediately covered her mouth to muffle her giggles. Her laughter was stifled, but her thrashing and kicking reminded Hobie of an American Rodeo Show.

“Damn, ‘s almos’ like you don’ wanna reap wha you sow! K-KArl! ‘Elp me out ‘ere! She’s a wild one!” Hobie called out as he laughed, nearly being thrown about. Their spidey strength competed against each other, Hobie’s grip versus Gwen’s power legs. Karl huffed a laugh and walked over with a sorry-not-sorry look on his face.

“Sorry, Gwendie.” He adopted Hobie’s nickname for her as he pushed her shoulders into the couch as he sat on her back, facing towards the tv. This earned a loud groan from the Spider-Woman at the weight and that quickly turned into hysterical laughter. Karl smirked and squeezed her side a few times. “You kinda deserve this. You’re lucky Miles was nice to buy him strings. But then again you’re super unlucky since he ratted you out. Now hush, I wanna see how Glendale’s triple chocolate cake turns out.”

Now, contrary to popular belief, this happens more often than one would think. Three punks (Gwen being honorary) tickling each other while they watch a baking show? It’s a pretty funny sight. So not many people would imagine this scenario, much less see it with their own two eyes.

Now that Hobie and Karl had Gwen stuck (hee hee spiderman joke), Hobie was able to properly get to work. He still had to watch himself as Gwen’s donkey kicks still proved dangerous. He scribbled and scratched all over her arches earning shrieks of protest from his friend.

“HOHOHOHOHOBIE!! KAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAARL!!! STOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOP TIHIHIHIHIHIHICKLING MEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!” Gwen screamed, swinging an arm back in an attempt to hit either one of them. Karl dodged just in time and caught her wrist, starting to poke at her armpit which caused her to giggle hysterically.

“You forget s’opposite day or somefin?” Hobie asked as he gave small squeezes under each of her toes. Gwen bucked back and almost nailed him in the nose.

“Youhuhuhuhuhuhu suck! Okahahahahay okay! Keheheheheheheep tihihihihickling mehehehehe you bahahahahastard!” Gwen said in ‘Opposite Day’ fashion. Hobie bore the most sinister grin a spiderman could pull.

“Keep ticklin’ yous? Alroight, if yous says so~” Hobie grabbed the back of her knees and started scribbling. Realizing she’d been betrayed, Gwen started doing everything in her power to escape. Although, her efforts went unnoticed between the two.

“HOBIE NOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!! GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! N-NOHOHOHOHOHOHO FAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAIR YOU- AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” She couldn’t even finish her sentence, she was so ticklish angry. Hobie and Karl chuckled.

“Gwendie, you are either extremely ticklish or way too over dramatic. I can’t tell which at dis point,” Hobie teased.

“You are evil, Hobs.” Karl stopped his poking assault and just held her wrist, making sure she wouldn’t accidentally break her arm.

“Am jus’ lookin’ for an apology, luv! C’mon, Gwendie~ Jus’ say ‘I’m sorry Hobie-’”

“IHIHIHIHIHIHI’M SOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHORYYYYY! PLEASE LET GOHOHOHOHOHO!!!” Gwen screamed before Hobie could finish his sentence, tears of mirth falling from her eyes. With a laugh, Hobie removed his hands and nodded to Karl who stood up and patted her back. Gwen took in greedy, giggly breaths as she calmed down. Then, Hobie scoped her up in his arms and leaned against the arm of the couch, hugging her close.

“Your knees can’t be that sensitive, luv. You really are jus’ over dramatic, huh?” Hobie couldn’t resist teasing her one more time. Gwen huffed.

“You’re the wohorst. You too Karl,” she spat. Karl just laughed and brushed it off, knowing the venom in her words were halfhearted. Then, the man laid on top of her, making the three of them a huge cuddle pile.

“You luv us, luv. Oh shit Tabitha’s guitar cake is gettin’ judged. Stop bein' wholesome fuckwads, I need to see this,” Hobie shimmied upwards, still hugging Gwen, and the three punks all turned their heads back to the tv.

And Opposite Day was no more. 

[mp3-kel]

did nothing most of the day (on accident) but i had a good sub 4 lunch. and then i looked at tumblr 4 2 long and felt not good so i walked my dog and i saw this girl who called me her friend once. she is from the neighborhood.

and all the cats were around my house, mr meowgy (the one who came in my house that one time) and karl (i named her karl bc she has a swirly pattern on her fur like karl jacobs' hoodie. but everyone else calls her butterscotch ((not as cool))).

but um i let my awesome best ever dog maggie in the house but i stayed outside and i went up 2 the girl cus i was like this is just like the hit rpg game omori kind of like when me and sunny would do stuff in faraway park idk. idk. but i put on the able sisters and put my headphones around my neck soi could hear it faintly.

and i went up 2 her and i was like what are you doing and she had been listening 2 music in a car like and she said she was freestyling. and she said how do you not bite your nails (because my nails are long) and i said oh i dont know. i used 2 bite them i just stopped one day i guess. i dont remember how everything flowed together but we talked about alot like

school. she does virtual school but shes gonna be going 2 a new school where they put all the "bad" kids. thats what she said with the quotations and everything. i told her alot my schools were private christian schools. and apparently she went 2 one of the same schools i did and i talked about my old friend icsis. who likes goats and twenty one pilots. and she told me icsis dated her brother once

also she has autism like i do. bc she said she failed 8th grade and i was like oh well i had gifted kid burnout. turns out i probably have autism 😎 and i asked 'could you tell i have autism' and she said no but i thought u were anti social. and i said 'oh its just because i became more of an introvert after quarentine.' maybe thats right but i think i liked 2 draw by myself alot b4 quarantine. i think

and i was trying 2 tell her about what i do on a daily basis. i wasnt able 2 finish talking about this because it got 2 late. and my mom said come inside and i said okay mom

other stuff thats happened today is i talked 2 my partner and we talked about how we love each other very much ^U^ HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY 4REAL!!!!

and i talked 2 my qpp and we got married (not like legally but we can call each other wife or something im not sure what labels 2 use) !!!!YIPPEEE!!!! they also make me so happy 4REAL !!!!!!! :DDDD

HAPPY DAY!

[nojey]

finally

feral boys x streamer!reader (separate)

genre: fluff, crack

warning(s): none

synopsis: the feral boys finally meet their favorite streamers

dreamwastaken / clay

word count: 407

the day you met dream, you were on the phone with your best friend george, also known as georgenotfound

the day you met dream, you were on the phone with your best friend george, also known as georgenotfound

he was speedrunning on stream while you were on a discord call with him

his viewers knew who you were, not only because you were george’s best friend but also because you were a streamer too

you weren’t a big one but well known for how well you play battle box in mcc

george was about to end his stream after an unsuccessful speed run when he asked you something

“you know dream right?”

“yeah, of course, he’s one of your other best friends” you answered

“are you okay with me adding him to the call?” he asked you.

“uh sure, but aren’t you gonna end stream?” 

“no, i will after this.” he giggled

“why? are you trying to embarrass one of us?” you asked him suspiciously.

“you don’t have to worry about that.” 

you heard a ding from discord, indicating that someone joined your voice chat

“hello? dream?” george asked.

“george. why? why are you doing this to me?” dream asked.

“hi dream,” you smiled.

“uh, hi. hi (y/n).”

“george why did you add me to the call?” he asked george.

“well, i know how much you like watching their stream. and considering you’re both my best friends, why not introduce you! perfect right? anyways. i’m gonna end my stream now. let’s raid karl. and you two can talk to each other. bye now!” he left the call so now it was just you and dream in the vc

it really warmed your heart that someone with such a big platform liked watching your streams since it had been quite hard to gain a following since you started streaming

“hi dream,” you said once again

he sighed. “hi (y/n).” “i really didn’t want him to do that, i didn’t want this to be the first time we meet, you know. i just love watching your streams so much and i wanted it to, honestly, be in person. but you know, george does what he thinks he shou-”

“it’s okay dream, i’ve actually been looking forward to meeting you, considering you’re also one of george’s best friends. but i do agree, he does tend to do whatever he puts his mind to.”

after you calmed his nerves, his conversation skills skyrocketed and the conversations flowed very easily

you guys spent the rest of the night talking 

georgenotfound / george

word count: 326

being a minecraft streamer and a hypebeast got you some recognition

you were a hypebeast model on instagram and when you had announced you started streaming minecraft on twitch you had grown pretty easily

it didn’t take you time before you were invited to join mcc

not just because you had a big following but because you were actually really good at playing

since you didn’t really know any other mc streamers you got placed in a group with people you had never met

their names were Ph1lzA, WilburSoot, and GeorgeNotFound

the first time you talked to them, they welcomed you with open arms and we so nice

“hi (y/s/n)! i’m philza but you can just call me phil,” he introduced.

“hi phil!” you responded.

“i’m wilbur, is this gonna be your first mcc?” wilbur asked.

“yeah, it is. i’m actually really nervous.” you laughed a bit, to get the nerves out.

“ah okay, well no worries. we were all beginners before. don’t worry about trying to score high, just have fun!” phil assured.

“we’re just waiting for one other person and we’ll get started on the practice.” phil continued.

“okie dokie,” you said. you put yourself on mute and wiped the sweat off your hands on your pants. 

“hello, hello, sorry i’m late. had trouble starting the server.” you heard. 

“well nice of you to join us george.” wilbur said.

“yeah, yeah. hi philza, hi wilbur, hi (y/s/n)- wait, (y/s/n)??” he stuttered

“hi george?,” you said softly.

“oh my god, i’ve watched your streams before, they’re really cool. i enjoy watching them.” he rambled.

you giggled

“well thank you,” you said, still giggling a little.

for the rest of the day you all practiced, everyone giving you pointers, but george watching carefully to make sure you understood the pointers you were getting

and if you didn’t then he knew to tell you which part you were kind of misunderstanding

sapnap

word count: 398

you met sapnap long before you became a streamer

you were a big fan of sapnap

and one day you ran into him in public

it was a short interaction but it really meant a lot to you

so you asked for a picture to remember the moment by

after you took the picture you said your goodbyes and you were extremely excited

a few weeks after than interaction you had made the decision to start streaming

you were thinking about becoming one for a long time and after meeting sapnap you made your decision 

because you wanted to be the type of person sapnap was to you

and be a person someone looked up to and meet people that felt the way about you that you feel about sapnap

you’d been a streamer for a few months when you got a raid from sapnap himself

his viewers were suggesting he raided you so he did

you freaked out, you gained a small following and the fact that sapnap decided to raid you? amazed

but what you didn’t know was that he kept watching you

after he saw how appreciative you were he wanted to watch more and he got intrigued

so he followed you and started watching your streams almost every time you streamed whenever he wasn’t busy

after about 2 years of streaming you got a very big following

your supporters were stalking your twitter and found the picture of you and sapnap when you both met

they then began to repost it on twitter tagging the both of you

you saw it and replied, “LMAO i look so small. but big shoutout to sapnap for raiding me as a small streamer and making all this possible <3″

he saw your reply and his eyes went big

HE MET YOU BEFORE!??

he then proceeded to respond to your tweet, “we’ve met before??”

and it went back and forward

“yeah, it was before i was a streamer, we met at like.. the grocery store lol”

“i literally had no idea you were a fan of me”

“yup, i’ve been for the past 3 years”

“dude after i raided you i started watching your streams and you became my favorite streamer”

“well,, you’re still my favorite streamer ;)” 

after that sapnap dmd you asking if you guys could meet in person again

and who could pass up that offer

karl jacobs

word count: 510

you and karl met at twitchcon

you had recently become a big streamer and this was your 2nd time going to twitchcon

1st time having a meet and greet

meeting your supporters meant so much to you 

you finally get to give each of them a hug, and it may not be all of them but seeing this many people come out to meet you meant more than anyone could imagine

but being at twitchcon also meant you could meet your streamer friends 

which made everything 10x more exciting

you decided to meet up with your friend, valkyrae and you guys were going to a creator party

when you finally got to see her you gave her a huge hug that lasted a while because it was the first time you were meeting in person

once you both reached the venue of where the party was being held you all met up with your other friends. you hadn’t met any of them in person but rae had

you saw sykkuno, lily, michael, toast, and a few other people and smiled really big, excited to see all of them

you finally got to them and pulled them into a group hug

“you guys!! oh my god it feels so good to finally meet all of you!” you said.

“it’s nice to meet you in person, (y/n).” sykkuno said smiling at you

you let go of the hug and remembered everyone else that they were with

“hi! i’m (y/s/n) but you can just call me (y/n),” you said with a smile.

“this is karl, poki, and scarra.” toast introduced.

you saw karl and poki whispering to each other while you got into a conversation with everyone else.

poki coughed and said, “hey guys! don’t we have to go to that thing, right? that thing.” hinting at something, looking between you and karl.

you’re pretty sure everyone caught on and they all agreed.

“oh yeah! that thing!”

“yeah, we should probably go!”

“yup, don’t wanna be late to that thing.”

you looked at them with an unimpressed look as they walked away, looking behind their shoulders to see you and karl standing there.

“hi, i’m-i’m karl, i’m sorry about that. i just told poki that you’re like literally my favorite streamer and i guess she wanted us to talk more? i don’t know, but it’s really nice to meet you.” karl said.

you laughed as you quickly understood your friends weird behavior

“yeah, you raided me a few times- thank you for that by the way. it helped me a lot in growing my fanbase and i don’t think i’d be where i am if you hadn’t raided me.” you smiled at him. he beamed and smiled back at you.

“yeah, no, it was no problem. like i said you’re literally my favorite streamer and being able to help you with that is absolutely insane to me.”

for the rest of the party, your friends could see both of you talking the night away

and maybe even dance together

quackity

word count: 428

finding out what to do for stream was kinda hard when pretty much all your friends were busy

but then you got a text from karl, asking if you wanted to play jackbox with him and a few friends

you accepted, knowing you wouldn’t have anything else to stream

in the lobby it would be you, karl, dream, sapnap and a few other people you didn’t know

when it was finally time to play, you started up your stream and introduced what you’d be playing that night

“hey guys, welcome welcome, welcome. today i’m gonna be playing jackbox with karl, dream, sapnap, and a few other of karls friends.” 

you joined the vc and immediately heard a lot of boys talking very loudly

you let out a small, “hello?” 

somehow everyone heard you and stopped talking

“(y/n)!” karl yelled out.

dream and sapnap let out a “hi, (y/n)” and you said hello back.

“hi everyone, i’m (y/s/n) but you all can call me (y/n)” you introduced yourself.

eveyrone else said hi and introduced themselves

you found out you were playing with quackity, wilbur, tommy, and techno too

during mad verse city karl was going against quackity and his rap went something like this

“you talk so weird, i’m gonna need translator, next time (y/n)’s here they’re gonna be a hater, because your big crush on them i’ll see ya later”

your mouth was wide open while all the boys started teasing quackity

“what the fuck! i don’t have a crush on them!” 

quackity ended up losing that one.

after the game and you ended you stream you asked quackity to stay

“hi quackity,” you said, with an energetic voice

“... hey, (y/n)” 

“sooo, was what karl said true?” you asked.

“mm not necessarily. it’s not that i have a crush on you. you’re.. just my favorite streamer and you know. this is the first time i’m meeting you and i was telling all of them that i’m nervous because i’ve never talked to you before and i think you’re a great streamer and that you put out really funny content and i didn’t wanna embarrass myself but. karl did that for me.” he rambled

you giggled

“i think that’s really cute. thank you for supporting me. you can dm me on twitter or discord if you ever wanna play sometime.” you told him and left the vc.

you then saw all the boys you were playing with pile into the vc and you could only imagine what they were talking about.

[crystalcow]

𝑆𝑎𝑝𝑛𝑎𝑝𝑠 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑//𝑆𝑎𝑝𝑛𝑎𝑝 𝑝𝑡 4

Masterlist // child reader ML //

Sapnap x reader !p !child reader

Pronouns used: none specified!

Warnings: swearing, mentions of death, casinos

➳➳➳➳➳┄┄※┄┄➳➳➳➳➳

𝐊𝐢𝐧𝗼𝐤𝗼 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝗼𝐰??

Quackity was telling you all of his plans

He rambled on for hours of his ideas for casinos and how he was going to marry Karl and sapnap

It sounded great

He had his whole plan set up! He even had Sam helping him with the building

But then he left

Just like everyone else

But that was fine! You were just with sapnap

Before Karl came running over rambling on about needed to move his library

He had a library?

“[Redacted] you need to stay close, please”

You looked at him weirdly

Who the fuck was [redacted]

“Karl my names Y/n you idiot” “flame..” “sorry”

He didn’t even notice it and then you had to spend the next couple days hauling over 100 books

“Oo hey what are these! The covers look really weird”

You had found his time travel books

Woops

That man raced over and in the kindest way possible, snatched it from your hands

“Don’t touch those, they are my special books”

You just shrugged and let him be, he freaks you out enough

So you all traveled to this area in the spruce forest and built a really ugly mushroom hut

But hey it’s fine! Foolish thankfully came around later that day and made everything better

So you stuck around

Maybe you needed this, this new start

Oh but prime knows that wouldnt last long

Karl started forgetting

At first it was simple things as just forgetting where he was or little stumbles with names

But eventually he was going away longer and longer

He started calling you by these strange names, some that sound Victorian and western and others that are unlike you

One day he didn’t call you by your name at all

You were hanging around the Sakura trees and the big yin Yang pond waiting for sapnap to come back with George

Then you saw Karl exit the library, running up to him for a hug

It’s been two months since you’ve seen him

You fucking hated it but you couldn’t help but consider him another parental figure

He loved it

But he just stood there as you wrapped your arms around him

Expecting the usual “[reda]- Y/n, I’ve missed you so much my sweet flame!”

But there was nothing just a sad one sided hug

“Hello? I’m sorry but do I know you?”

You were ready to cry

“I’m sorry, I uh must’ve mistaken you for the wrong person” “No that’s fine! Hugs are nice?”

So you left and ran into the library

Scouring throughout all of the books until you found them

The same 8 books you shrugged away

You read through all of them along with Karl’s other journals

You didn’t like going through his stuff especially, a whole invasion of privacy

The more you read the worse it got

What were you gonna tell Sapnap?

Who the hell is James, and [redacted]?

And why couldn’t he stop

It’s no use anymore

You were simply just forgotten

𝐋𝗼𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐬

The closer you got to the large building, the sicker you got

Kinoko Kingdom was supposed to be your free pass

But somehow you always end up here

You called for Sam on the comms waiting for the beep

The inside looked great to say the least

“What are your past relationships with the prisoner?” “No answer.”

“Where are you currently resided?” “No answer”

“Do you believe the prisoner deserves his sentence?” “Maybe”

You put all your shit in the locker and followed him through all the safety checks

“I’m glad you didn’t bring anything with you”

You stood on the platform heart racing as the lava went down

It was like a ticking time bomb

The small squeaks and scratches of the hovering bridge

He just stared at you

That sick stupid mask was broken by tommy that day in the black stone room

So you had to look into his face

Lets just say he looks good in Orange

“Barrier up or down?” “Down”

He backed up into the corner as you stepped in

Smiling

Once the lava cascaded down your smile turned into a sick frown

“Hello” is that all he had to fucking say?

“Screw you. Fuck you. Damn you”

He just looked you a small chuckle escaping from his lips

“Those all mean the same thing.” “Well I’ve been living in cinnamon town for the past couple months, and I’m ready to fucking burn some buns”

Yeah he just laughed

“I’ve missed you Hot shot”

“You ruined our damn life!”

Someone went quiet

“If you didn’t have to have a petty little war, or criminalize children we could’ve been fine! It could’ve just been you, dad, me, and George.”

You were pissed, everyone just kept leaving you.

Tommy and Tubbo, Quackity, Karl, Dream, and hell even Wilbur

“You come and visit me, after not having seen me for months and you just yell? Not a hello or ‘how are you dream?’ ‘How’s prison dream’ ‘how can I help you get out of this damn place’ “

You just sat down ready to just walk out into the lava

“I’ve been stuck here for months! None of you even cared enough to visit me, hell even Tommy came around.”

You might have felt a little bad after leaving him

The prison was cold even tho lava was flowing right there

“Why would you leave the discs alone..” “Because I had to end it.”

What were you doing here

What were you planning on saying?

“So, what do you do in prison”

“I have a clock.”

You got up to go look at the pretty clock

Then threw it at his face

“Ow” “deal with it bitch”

The longer you stayed the worse the feeling in your stomach got

so you buzzed for Sam waving goodbye

“Wait.. Do they miss me?” “Can’t say, but I think this may be for the best.”

He wanted his best friends

But he just got the annoying teenager

Oh but that wouldn’t be the last

𝐋𝐚𝐬 𝐍𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐬

You got a letter in the mail one day

Who the hell uses letters??

You were shocked to see the address and the small post card

“Come around some time”-Quackity

Ans on the back it had the cords

Oh well what did you have to loose? Sapnap was focused on Karl

and well Karl didn’t even know you

So you set off

It took you a couple hours travel by horse to get to the desert area

The large sign blaring in the red text

You gotta admit the place looked beautiful

There was a giant dick and different shops

You were shocked to see this random un human like guy

“Hello, I am Charlie a totally human guy!”

Yeah totally not slime

“I’m uh, Y/n?” He reached out for a handshake sort of thing

“Dap me up!” “Another time Charlie”

Maybe when you had hand sanitizer

“Ohh so your Y/n! Mister Quackity talks about you all the time, come on in!”

You were skeptical but followed anyways

Stopping in your tracks when you saw Fundy

“Furry?” “Fire shit?”

You went over to give him a side hug, ruffling his fur

“What the hell are you doing here ginger boy!” “Oh you know, just escaping nightmares”

You were confused then just let him be

You walked to the entry way of the place

A beautiful pond with flowers and an arch

“Did what the place where Mr. Quackity was going to propose!”

Going to?

You shrugged it off following inside

You hated to admit it, but you were excited to see him

Yeah you really needed a parental figure in your life at the moment

So when you saw him, he immediately pick you up in a hug

You didn’t fail to notice his change in appearance

That beanie stayed the same tho

Thank god

“Hey hey! Let me show you around the place, we can also go for lunch and talk.”

The casino looked great to say the least

Loud music booming from the speakers, along with the live jazz band on the side

Slot machines were going off every minute

“Have a chip, something to remember this by”

He handed you a red poker chip

It was a cool one tho, in the middle has a blocky sort of smile

Creepy and dopey.. sick!

So you put it around a spare silver chain

“So how have you been kid? ‘Ts been a while hasn’t it.” “Could be better..”

You both walked around the city in silence, offering to go in the super model shop

“No” “why not” “keep walking”

On your way to lunch you had to squint at what you were seeing

“Oh my goodness you’re still alive?!” “You’re alive!?”

You and revivebur just stared at one another

“Yeah he came back after I died!” “you what now-“

You just stared at Tommy and back to Wilbur

Oh god those shrooms were messing with your head

You should’ve gotten out of there a while ago

Quackity came over placing his hands on your shoulders

“Do I have to execute you both? Get off my damn property”

“Sorry Q. Say, Y/n wanna join Lmanburg 2.0?”

You back away holding your hands up

“I denied that offer once, and I’ll do it again. Fucking zombie freaks”

You obviously muttered the last part

Why the fuck did dream revive those two shits??

When did Tommy even die??

Your visit here has just gotten weirder and weirder

𝐌𝗼𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬

Quackity got you away from the brits as quick as he could

So he brought you over to his office

“So kid, how’s your dad..”

Ah you expected this question

“How the fuck am I supposed to know. He’s living his life, Karl’s time traveling! Oh yeah did I mention he doesn’t even remember me.”

He looked at you with wide eyes

“So I’m not the only one they forgot..”

You slammed you hands on the fable dramatizing the situation

“How would you feel about moving here? I mean you could work for me in the casino!”

You thought about it for a second

You have two options

1. Live in shroom town with bubbles

2. Move to las Nevada’s with Quackity

You were sure Sapnap wouldn’t mind

I mean would he even care?

He hasn’t for the past couple months!

“You feel abandoned there, over here there are hundreds of people. You’ll have the time of your life”

You thought about it for a sec

“Alright hand me a contract”

So you signed

Making deals with the devil huh

Little did you know it would cost you your life

Devils little soul

➳➳➳➳➳┄┄※┄┄➳➳➳➳➳

and this is the finale! I will take requests for sapnaps child, and I’ll do some shit with Quackity and the casino and go in more depth if wanted!

As always request and ask anything! And ask if you want to be on a taglist (child reader or general)

For those on the taglist I don’t know if you wanted to be tagged for all child reader shit or just dreams child.. so please tell me :)

@creatorofstars @georgenctfound @samistheidiot @smolbox-png @ghostlysenses @stellarinstigator @bobaducky

[x-pair-o-dice-x]

Dice I have re-read everything in the by nature AU tag like 50 times and I love it so much it’s so good-

Anyway I wanted to ask some things to expand a little bit if you don’t mind:

How do Dreams friends react to him literally just…disappearing? He runs off with the bench trio, but do the rest of the manhunt crew learn where he went? And does Dream try to explain to them (especially Sapnap) that eating borrowers is wrong? i can imagine Sam just being like “oh yeah I know btw you wanna meet my little borrower partner?” and he just pulls Ponk out of a pocket

Also, kind of going back to Sapnap, will Karl and Quackity have roles in this au? Cause I can totally see them being two borrowers that Sapnap meets after learning that borrowers are sapient. It would be so hard for him to accept that he likes them (platonically or romantically if you like karlnapity), especially given that you said he ate borrowers as often as possible. He’d probably take the news of them being sapient the worst.

Also not really a question, but kinda odd how Phil and Techno knew what rovengers were when Tommy and Tubbo didn’t, I wonder they they hide their main predator’s existence 👀

Also, lastly, you’ve mentioned that humans were a thing in this AU, so are there any characters you plan to be human?

Sorry this is a lot, when I really like something a lot I ramble hskskshsk

YOOOO i don’t mind this ask at all!!!! i’m happy to answer all of these hell yeah.

(quick warnings for vague mentions of hard and soft vore)

lemme clear up the second-to-last question first real quick: actually, no one really knew about rovengers. when tommy and tubbo first got taken, all they knew about were some particularly large tracks that were nearby. and even then, they weren’t 100% certain whether or not they were even related. it was only connected when those same tracks showed up when tommy and tubbo returned.

dream and ranboo had to explain what exactly rovengers were to phil, who then relayed it to techno. until then, they didn’t even know what they looked like, let alone what they were called.

now, back to the first question.

there actually was a scene i meant to add in the fic,,, but it had to be cut, since i couldn’t get it to look right. plus, it did feel like it didn’t flow well with the rest of the story,, at least not the way i was writing it.

it took place after dream stored the borrowers and his brother, as he was trying to make his way out of the colony.

he ended up getting interrupted by sapnap. sap, who had heard about the fight between ranboo and dream(somehow), wanted to talk to him, see if he was okay.

dream debated whether or not to tell sapnap, and the rest of his friends, about what he learned about borrowers, but hesitated.

he.. he knows they’re his friends.

but.. how would they react when finding out about borrowers? george and any were always pretty apathetic about them, leaning no particular way towards them, but.. sapnap…..

dream doesn’t tell him. he simply says he’s going on a walk to cool off some steam.

sapnap, at first, wants to go with him, but dream refuses, saying he wishes to be alone right now. hesitantly, sapnap agrees, saying that he wants to talk to him after he comes back.

dream puts on a smile, and says sure.

and then he leaves, and doesn’t come back.

————

anyway, my inability to ramble about anything without making it a mini-fic aside, yeah uh. he doesn’t explain.

and they don’t react well.

sapnap especially.

first his father disappears without a word, and now his best friend, as well as his brother?

yeah… mans is not okay.

he ends up having to take over as leader of their patrols, now that dream’s missing, but sapnap assures everyone it’s temporary. dream’s gonna come back, maybe he just- got lost, or something. he’s gotta come back, surely.

(on one of these patrols, they end up finding a certain mossy-green rovenger, but that’s a story for another day.)

moving on to your second question, and — huh, i never actually.. shared anything about karl and quackity here,, huh didnkdbfid. i’m pretty sure i did in the discord server,,, but i guess i never put them here,,, woops!!

but uh- yeah yeah they’re here!!!! and indeed,, they’re both borrowers!

(skeppy and ponk are also here but you knew about the latter already djdbdkbdid)

they’re both bird-like borrowers — and, okay quick little tangent here i guess, there’s two types of borrower designs, ones based off real animals, and plain ones, with just pointed ears and stuff. why? uhh because why not, that’s why.

i have like a vague idea on how they all meet, but i’m gonna need to find a reason to justify why sapnap doesn’t immediately try to eat ‘em,, that doesn’t involve them talking dibdkdn.

or- actually maybe i have one? maybe sapnap hasn’t seen borrowers with wings before — maybe they’re a bit hard to catch, and even harder to keep contained.

sapnap ends up finding karl, and decides to keep him as a pet for a bit, a la dream kdndkdndkdn.

when he finds out they’re sapient…….. hoo boy……….

and now,, for the final question…

indeed, there is a character in this au that is human!!!

and i could be ominous about it and wait until i write a fic about it, but we all know that’ll take years, so.. here she is!!!

mumza!!!!!!!

she lives in a house out in the woods — a house that happens to be the one where the borrower village is nearby!

she isn’t around often— she’s an archeologist, so she has to travel around in order to do her work, making her house a prime target for most of their borrowing trips.

(though, it’s not as if they have to sneak around the place if they want anything — she’s more than happy to give them a thing or two!)

also, while i’m at it — and mostly bc i forgot to share them — sbi designs!!!!

[a-n-conrad]

Showers (Karl Heisenberg x Reader)

[Summary: You love Karl Heisenberg completely. And because of that, you are more than willing to put up with his quirks and flaws. However, you make sure to try everything in your bag of tricks to help him take care of himself a bit better and deal with his trauma. That means you have to come up with a plan to help distract him while he showers so that perhaps he can enjoy it a bit more. (They/Them pronouns)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), shower sex, oral sex (male receiving), swearing, depressed/traumatized Heisenberg, gender-neutral reader

Request: From my request survey (https://forms.gle/D9rsJtkERoBPaKvv8)]

Karl Heisenberg wasn’t exactly the easiest person to be in love with. You both knew it. He got angry easily. He would lock himself in his workshop for hours at a time. He was overly protective often, and wouldn’t let you wander without him there to protect you. He forgot to pick up supplies much more frequently than you’d like. And he was terrible at taking care of himself. He didn’t make it easy for you to care for him, but that never stopped you.

Part of it was that you were truly, unbelievably in love with him. There was no way that was changing over some minor annoyances. But part of it was that you were fucking stubborn. Karl had a habit of pushing people away. You didn’t know if he even knew it, but he seemed to try and push away anyone that got too close. You didn’t know what it was or why he did it, but you knew it wasn’t good for either of you. So you were far too stubborn to let him push you away like that.

So you got into the habit of helping him with all of these issues. You knew exactly how to help him calm down when he was upset. You’d find ways and excuses to drag him out of the workshop to take a break. You made sure to reassure him that you were safe whenever you went out. And you always made sure to gently remind him when you needed supplies. But the biggest thing that you made sure to do was to help him remember to take care of himself.

You made meals for him often and would bring them down to his workshop so that he didn’t have an excuse to not eat. You’d bring him water and other drinks, occasionally bringing him a chamomile tea or something of the sort when he had been avoiding sleep. You’d tend to any cuts on his hands, and you’d give his hands massages after he’s been working for hours, to help him avoid getting cramps. Your biggest challenge, however, was to get him to shower.

Heisenberg hated showers. It wasn’t the idea of hygiene that was the issue. It was a mix of a lot of other things. He was tired most of the time when he came back to the living area, far too tired to convince himself to go shower. His body ached, and the water pressure in his factory was, well, aggressive. And while he would never admit it, Karl was incredibly self-conscious. He hated having to look at himself while he washed. Part of it was that he didn’t like the way he looked, but most of it was the scars. A lot of those scars he didn’t quite remember getting. But he knew where they were from. And the thoughts of the experiments that Miranda did on him haunted him every time he had to look at his scars.

So you had to find ways to make showering a little less painful for him. You just weren’t really sure how to do that. There were a few little tricks that you had tried. You had tried getting him soaps in smells that he loved and that made him feel confident. You tried rewarding him for taking care of himself with extra cuddles. You had even tried getting him to shower with most of the lights off so he wouldn’t have to see the scars. None of that really seemed to work. So you were on to your last resort. Distraction.

- - - - -

“I’m back,” Karl sighed as he dragged himself through the door to the living quarter. He had just run for supplies after a long day of working on his experiments. You could tell that he was exhausted. And you also knew, from the layer of sweat, grease, and dirt clinging to his body, that there was no way that he was going to feel better until he took a warm shower and washed himself off.

“I’m glad you made it safely,” You responded, knowing you needed to ease him into the idea of a shower, “How was the supply run? Anything eventful happen?”

“Not really,” He sighed, setting the bags down on the table in the kitchen, starting to unpack the food and things that he had bought, “The Duke made me go to the middle of the village. My guess is that he was hoping for some drama from the villagers acting weird around me, but most of them just steered clear. I have no issues with them right now as long as they don’t get in my way, so there wasn’t anything to entertain The Duke.”

“I wish he wouldn’t use you for entertainment like that,” You sighed in response, helping him put everything away, “You have enough to deal with. You shouldn’t have to deal with him treating you like a circus animal.”

“Yeah, well, I’m used to it. It’s better than being a lab rat,” He responded, the bitterness in his voice being clear. All you could really do to respond was to nod, a slight frown on your face as you thought about his childhood once again. It always made you angry to think about, but it wasn’t helpful for anyone for you to get upset.

The two of you continued to unpack the supplies in warm silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. It rarely was when the two of you were together. It was just that neither of you had anything to say. You were just enjoying each other’s company, enjoying being near each other, without having to fill the air with mindless small talk. It was only after you had put everything away that you finally broke the silence.

“Why don’t we hop in the shower, and then we can relax a bit,” You suggested gently, “You’ve had a long week. We should take some time to relax.”

He looked a bit uncomfortable and unsure at the suggestion, but didn’t outright object. He just winced. He understood that he needed a shower, but the look on his face told you that it might take a bit more convincing.

“I’ll join you if you want,” You said, winking at him, “I could use a shower too, so perhaps we could make things a bit more fun.”

His eyes widened a bit at that, and you saw his thoughts get a bit conflicted. He still wasn’t excited about the idea of having to go shower, but he was never one to turn down sex. He was entirely enamored with you, he thought you were the most attractive person he had ever seen. You watched the debate happen behind his eyes, trying to decide if he hated showering more than he loved seeing you nude. Eventually the part of him that just wanted to touch you all the time won out, and you saw the debate end. And he nodded in agreement to your plan.

- - - - -

You got the showering running while he got himself undressed. You had figured out the temperature of water that both of you liked a while ago, so you managed to get it right much quicker than Karl could. You couldn’t do much to help with the insane water pressure, but getting it to a decent temperature made it a much nicer experience.

Karl hesitated at the edge of the water flow when you were both ready. Something about actually stepping into the shower was one of the hardest steps for him. Because of that, you made a point to help him with that. You grabbed his hand and guided him into the shower with you, pulling him a bit closer to you. You wrapped your arms around his torso, pulling him in for a quick kiss to distract him while he started to get used to the feeling of the water running down his body.

It took a few moments for him to adjust, but eventually you felt his muscles relax under your fingers as you ran your hands across his body. You took that as your cue to start getting him cleaned up. You started with his hair, which got greasy pretty quickly. You rubbed the shampoo into his hair, massaging his scalp in the process. He seemed to relax even more, enjoying the feeling of you playing with his hair. The feeling seemed to be doing well enough to distract him.

You normally try to get in and out as quickly as you can when it comes to helping Karl shower, and usually that means forgoing things like conditioner. But this time, you had a feeling that you had the time. So as you finished with the shampoo and slowly washed it out of your hair, never stopping your massages in the process, you grabbed your conditioner from the shelf. Karl didn’t use your soap very often, but sometimes when he was feeling especially sad, he liked to. It made it so that even if you weren’t right next to him, he could smell you.

You massaged the conditioner in, taking extra care to note exactly what motions made him relax extra. You took the opportunity to detangle a few of the knots in his hair as well. Using your fingers to gently pull the knots apart. Before long, his hair was soft and detangled, and he had been fairly relaxed the whole time. He hadn’t said anything, still fairly on edge, but he was much less tense than usual.

It was once you had moved on to the body wash that you could feel the tension returning to his body, despite your effort to massage his tight muscles. His whole body tensed each time your fingers ran across a scar. You watched every muscle in his back turn hard as your hand ran across a large scar on his hip. You needed to find a way to help him relax, before the calm mood was ruined completely.

You ran your hands across his chest, turning him to face you and taking a break from washing him off. He looked at you, a bit confused as you did. You just smiled at him, a smile that you knew made his heart melt a bit. The kisses you left softly on his neck did wonders on distracting him as well. He seemed tough, rigid like the metal he worked with, but when you were soft with him, he melted in an instant. So you just had to be soft.

You continued your care, leaving soft, small kisses across his collar bone. His hands started to wander, grabbing at your body as his own started to relax a bit. You finally felt his shoulders relax as one of your hands began to wander as well, sliding from his chest to just above his belt line. One of his hands raised to your face, pulling you by the chin into a kiss. It wasn’t rough like his usually are, but it was passionate in the soft and loving way.

As he pulled you closer, careful not to make you slip on the wet flooring, you felt something poke your leg, his erection catching your attention clearly. You had implied something a bit more intimate to bait him into the shower, so perhaps it was time for you to make good on that promise.

He raised his eyebrows as you slowly lowered yourself to your knees, sliding your hands down his chest as you did. You made sure to add a few kisses to his chest and stomach on the way down as well, your lips catching a slight taste of soap, but it wasn’t anything you couldn’t ignore. You looked up at him through your eyelashes, a small smirk finding its way onto your face as you started to slide your hands a bit lower, following the path of his hips to where his legs meet.

He was watching you intently, his mind far removed from the normal complaints of a shower. The only thing he was thinking about right now was you. He watched carefully as your hands moved to his cock, handling him gently at first. You gave him a few light pumps, getting a feel of just how aroused he was. The small drops of precum that appeared almost instantly were a pretty clear sign of just how much he wanted you. And you weren’t about to deny him what he wanted.

You started with a broad lick across the length of his cock, swirling your tongue around the head when you reached the tip. He groaned loudly, his hands finding their way to the back of your head in an instant. You took his tip into your mouth, still swirling your tongue around him. You could feel his impatience as his fingers started to dig into the back of your head as he tried to resist the urge to push your head down further.

Teasing was never something that he handled well, getting impatient quickly. He liked to take control, taking over completely if you teased him too much. Normally, you enjoyed it, but this was meant to distract him, meant to give him a chance to relax. So you yielded to his need, taking him a bit deeper into your mouth, making sure to maintain suction as you started to bob your head up and down.

“Fuck, (Y/n),” He groaned, pushing your head down just a bit more. You couldn’t help but savor the look of him, practically melting in your hands. His eyes were almost rolling back in his head as you took him all the way into your mouth, fighting your gag reflex as he reached your throat.

You moaned in response, the vibration making him groan again. The taste of his precum in the back of your throat was bitter and acidic, a sharp contrast to the clean smell of the soap clinging to his body. However, all you were truly thinking about at that moment was making him feel as good as you possibly could. You wanted to make him come undone completely in your mouth. And you were going to do just that.

You had to take a moment to breathe after a while, though, pulling him out of your mouth completely to do so. You looked divine, though. That was all Karl could think of as he watched you. The line of saliva trailing from your mouth to the tip of his cock, the look of your chest raising and falling harshly as you tried to catch your breath, the water clinging to your skin, all of it was perfect. You were perfect.

He almost lost it completely when you took him into your mouth again, the feeling of your tongue and the inside of your mouth wrapping around him was almost too much. You could feel it in the way his dick twitched in your mouth, and you hummed a bit to add a bit of extra sensation. He was getting close, so you would encourage him, edge him closer until he broke his resolve.

The hand on the back of your head was helping you along, setting a pace that he was enjoying as he pushed your head down the length of his cock. You made sure to keep the suction, and to continue to curl your tongue around him. He was cursing under his breath as you did, clearly losing his control. The shaking in his legs was another clear sign that he was reaching his finish. You were just enjoying turning him into putty in your hands. The sounds he made were music to your ears.

“(Y/n), I’m gonna- fuck,” He groaned out, giving you a bit of warning. You hummed in response, a sign that he had permission to spill himself into your mouth. And he did just that, the hot, sticky substance shooting straight into your throat and he held your head in place, his eyes screwed tightly shut.

Saliva and cum dripped out of the corners of your mouth as you pulled your head back, letting him fall from your mouth. The line your saliva formed, connecting your mouth to his cock was clear. It only broke when you closed your mouth again, swallowing deeply to clear your mouth out, but never breaking eye contact with Karl.

His pupils were still blown wide as he watched you catch your breath. He never took his eyes off of you. But his body was relaxed, the tension in his muscles had entirely dissolved, and instead of the normal far-off look in his eyes that he usually had when he was trying to stay calm, they were entirely focused on you. Your plan seemed to have worked.

“We should do this more often,” You said, an amused grin clear on your face.

“I agree,” He replied.

(A/N: Thanks so much for reading! I hope your guys enjoyed it. Don't forget, tips are welcome at Venmo: Al3x13l if you'd like to support me with my writing.)

[graqefruito]

rock- karl jacobs

pairing: karl jacobs x gn!reader

type: sad, then fluff

cw: sadness (reason not really mentioned apart from a bad day pushing reader over the edge), mentions of feeling numb, crying.

Should I post another today?? Also can someone please send me in some ideas or requests or whatever, I have two days off of school and I’m going to be so bored! Pls I want some friends :( lmao ew that sounded grim, but pls send something in!

Walking swiftly up the cement steps leading you to the front door of your apartment, your hands fumbled in your pockets trying to find the keys. Fingers folding around the ragged metal, you pulled the keychain out and stabbed it at the lock a few time. After around thirty tries of twisting and turning the stupid key it finally slipped nonchalantly into the door and you sighed as the wooden slab opened, letting you inside and out of the whistling cold. Shuffling your shoe clad feet on the sweet welcome mat Karl had forced you to buy weeks earlier, you bent down to unlace the trainers and wiggled both your frozen feet out of them. Removing your dark leathery coat too, the heat from the hall’s radiator rippled over and lilted down your body, encasing you in a hug of warmth. 

With a short sigh you let your tired feet quietly tap along the floor until you found yourself walking into the living room. Karl was nowhere to see and with your phone now connecting to the wifi you checked your notifications, finding a small purple one expressing that he had gone live about two hours ago and his lack of presence led you to the conclusion that he still was. Fervent thoughts of just storming in to his room without a care for the stream so you could cuddle Karl swam through your mind. All you wanted to do was lie in his long arms, feeling them wrap around you tightly as your head found a spot nestled by his shoulder. However, you still stood alone in the living room, not moving any closer to Karl’s room than you were before. Another sigh left your mouth as you began to trudge along the wooden floor, feeling your socks slide slightly. Arriving at the kitchen counter you put all of your smidge of remaining energy to hop onto it. You felt your body just sink as it began to relax, the familiarity of your surrounding bringing you back to a state of serenity. 

After staying like that for a while, your body went a little numb in the ares touching the cold marble surface, but you didn’t mind, the feeling was almost nice and comforting. All of a sudden a cold drop fell onto your hands and you reached slowly up to your dampened cheek feeling another tear dribble down. When did you start crying? Today had just honestly been such a bad day that the paralysis of emotions relieved you knowing the pain would have been too much to deal with. Just letting your tears stumble and tumble down your stained cheeks, you began to fully cry. No restraints. You let it all go. Every mean comment or deep insecurity darted out of you through the salty rivers flowing down. 

Your little breakdown left you unaware of the presence of another. Having heard your dejected, dismal wails from his streaming room upstairs, Karl rushed to end his stream. The sound of his footsteps on the stairs were absentmindedly drowned out by your whimpers and cries so when you saw his sorrowful blue eyes looking at you with worry from the other side of the room, your body jumped. He took a couple steps closer and held his hands out silently asking if it was okay for him to hug you. To which you nodded your head before letting more tears trickle down. His arms engulfed you pulling your body into his and resting your head on his chest so you could hear his heart beat and coordinate your breathing with his. No questions were asked until you fell into him further only to find something sharp in his pocket poking you. Your heart wanted to make a suggestive joke but the exhaustion emerged it in silence and what’s this were the only words spoken. 

“Oh!”, karl jumped in the air a little squealing with delight, remembering the little surprise he had in his pocket,” I got this for you!”

Karl’s hands rummaged around in his pocket as if it were full of money till slowly he brought his hand back out with a smile plastered firmly on his face. His hand cloaked the object so you couldn’t see it. For dramatic effect, he withdrew a finger at a time making sure to take extra long. Finally the last finger was gone and you could see a small rock with a strange pattern spilled on the outside. 

“I got you a rock. It looked pretty so I thought you might want it. Because I don’t know, you’re pretty and its pretty, though don’t worry you’re much prettier, well your stunning and literally perfect whereas this is only pretty. Anyways, I was out with Chris today and I saw it and the coloured designs on the outside made me think of you cause the swirls are beautiful and like really cool, just like you. I can keep it if you don’t want it, that’s fine too, I just thought it was cool and well yeah very pretty.” He mumbled looking more and more at the kitchen floor as he carried on his little speech, embarrassment getting the best of him. 

And like that, everything went away for a second, all of the negative emotions that made you cry just left, maybe not forever, but for this moment here they were gone and every ounce of you emanated pure love and happiness. Karl made you whole and you couldn’t thank him enough, he was just so sweet you couldn’t deal. Realising you hadn’t spoken for a while, you looked into his eyes and back down to the rock taking it from his hands and letting your fingers smooth over the sides and the touch texture of the surface. It was genuinely the nicest little gift you could have gotten right now. 

“Thank you Karl, I love it, it’s beautiful, genuinely thank you.” You breathed out, worrying if you spoke any louder the tears would spill out once more pouring buckets over your cheeks. He gave you a small kiss and buried you back into him, nuzzling into you.

[violetngrey]

Scarred! C!Feral boys HCs 2

Helping him with his healing scars

SFW

GN!Reader

Description of injury/blood

Part 1 / Part 2

Karl

One day he just reappeared in the garden with blood splattered all over his clothes and a blank expression after being gone for weeks

The side of his neck was completely wrecked

Whatever it was had skimmed a couple of layers of his skin off at least

Looked like more of a burn than anything

The more you thought about it the more it could of been an explosion

Had taken a good portion of his neck and some of his shoulder with it too

As you took him inside his facial expression never changed

Even as he sat in your heated house under blankets while you went to wash his clothes in the stream he still couldn’t remove the expression of complete horror off of his face

Eventually he completely freaked out not remembering what had happened to him just hours ago

Took you more than a couple hours to completely calm him down

“Don’t leave” “I’m here for you now, I’m always here for you”

That night you went out into the forest to go find his book again as he showered

He always forgot it somewhere around there

When you got back he was confused as to why you’d went through all that trouble for him

“It’s because I love you”

Blushing profusely with a face and neck wound stings more than you would think

Couldn’t sleep on his normal side without being in constant pain

Finally got comfortable when you offered to sleep on your back so he could cuddle into your side

Didn’t want you leaving his sight just in case he disappeared again

You calmed his timetravel anxiety down tremendously

Clung to you in bed for weeks even when it was boiling

Cold compresses on his neck and face as much as possible

Is scared of opening his book to see what he’ll read

Keeps you in sight whenever you both go out together for something

Likes to keep as much physical contact with you in case you do disappear

Holds your hand 24/7 just to go and get supplies

Once asked you if you could shower with him

Obviously you said yes

Helped him with his dressings when they got wet after

The cut took a lot more time than it should of to heal

It was a deep purple/pink for a good couple of months he before it started to turn completely white

The scar tissue was a lot more sensitive than it normally would be

You concluded it was from gunpowder or hot water but it could of been anything

Struggles to wear any sort of fabric on top of it the first two weeks

Doesn’t like the way it rubs against his skin when the healing tissue is on sensitivity overload

Gets frustrated when his shoulder gets stiff a lot more because of lack of movement

He’s scared he’ll lose all of his strength because he isn’t as active anymore and can’t work out or put pressure on his scar just yet

Let’s you place kisses onto it even when it’s a little too sensitive

After it started turning white he started to gain his confidence back

It wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb so much

Could finally put a shirt on fully without it rubbing too much against the scar

Liked to brag that for the whole time he was shirtless it was a ‘show’ for you and you so liked it

You’d play into his jokes dramatically and make him giggle

“Ahhh, I secretly wish you never put a shirt back on” “Of course you do”

Starting only raising his right shoulder instead of both when laughing because it hurt

It eventually stuck as a habit

Gets itching pains on the left side of his throat

You figured out that drinking warm water helps it go away but Karl hates it

“Why did it have to be warm!” “Well do you want a lemon with it?” “Yes, actually”

You eventually asked Ponk for some lemons from his lemon trees and actually got lemon to put in his water

Fidgets with his peeling shoulder a lot even though he knows he shouldn’t touch it

As long as you never left his side he’d always be able to get through it

George

(He doesn’t have any supposed canonical scars or fan theorised ones so we’re going to have to use even more of our imagination for this one)

When you heard George let out a rather loud curse from the forest next to your house you knew something was wrong

He never cursed until something really did piss him off

You quickly took your apron off and fled out of the house and into the wood

To see George on his ass trying to stop blood flowing from his face getting into his clothes

By the time you both got back into the house he’d managed to tell you what happened

A piece of metal had eroded itself out of the grass and he tripped over it onto a rather sharp slab of stone

The stone has cut from the side of his nose all the way into the bottom crease of his eye on his right side

A small but deep cut also crept its way down his right cheekbone too

The fall had also gave him a nose bleed

Was horrified when you said it would probably scar

Didn’t think he’d alter his appearance permanently because he wasn’t watching where he was going

Had gravel indents in his skin for days

Found the stitches okay to handle and did all of his usual jobs the same as he would normally

About a week in, his nose was so unbearably itchy and he managed to reopen the barely closed stitch by scratching it

It brought him to tears the whole time you redid them

Tried to act tough but ultimately didn’t work

“I know it’s hurts George you don’t have to act”

You make sure you give him more hugs than he probably needs

You both have trouble expressing your feelings verbally so you do it out of actions a lot more

You make sure his dressings are always fresh as it’s in an awkward spot on his face

It doesn’t bother him as much as you thought it would

Goes out on adventures with Dream and Sapnap just as often if not more

You make a habit of kissing the other side of his nose as he laughs to take his mind off of the tight skin the scar left behind

The cut bought more attention towards his mismatched eyes

You always loved that about him and adored them

Gets shy when you point them out to compliment them to distract him

Loves you show you his appreciation to putting up with his dumbass self

Bought you roses to say thank you for everything

“I couldn’t of asked for a better partner” “Shouldn’t I be the one buying you roses to get well soon”

Blushes an uneven deep red on his cheeks

Get more occasional nose bleed if something hits his nose at a certain angle

Was more than a little surprised the first time it happened

He blew his nose and rubbed it a little when he was out with Sapnap and Dream and it just started

It went all over the nose before he realised it wasn’t just snot but blood

Somewhere near Snowchester there’ll still be a random patch of blood in the middle of nowhere

Went he got home and told you and laughed it off but it progressively got worse the more the cut healed

Eventually stopped completely when he’d accidentally walked into a door and unblocked something in his nose

Still doesn’t know what it was

“Y/n, do you think it was magic?” “Dumb luck”

Laughs and pouts at your remarks a lot more now

When it’s finally all healed up and gone he gets a bit anxious

It’s only just caught up to him after months that this is what his face’ll look like for the rest of his life

“I like this you better Georgie” “Oh really now?” “It reminds of how stupid you can be sometimes”

Laughs as he chases you around the house

Hates any slabs with the bane of his existence and refused to go anywhere near another one again

This also means the slabs in your garden that he used to love sitting on

Takes him a while to finally sit outside with you without worrying if you’ll trip over

Still acts like it’s going to kill him though

“What do you mean?! They’re evil little things!”

Eye twitches when he’s concentrated resulting in him laughing all the time

Distracts him from getting his work done when out

Thinks its absolutely adorable how you will always love him no matter what he looks like

-

If you wanted to know what inspired me to write this;

[justasimptm]

The Bride  C 18

When mother asks me how it went I lie and tell her it was fine, he just needed a little bit of blood. I tell her the reason it took so long was because he had asked me to help him with the Cadou. I don’t mention that he tried to kill me, that Karl showed up and saved me. I don’t tell her that I drank from him, or that part of me is aching to go back and see him again. My story satisfies her despite its gaps and she lets me go, tells me she’s proud of me and dismisses me to go do whatever I want. I find myself wandering down to my old studio. The room had been kept up with, which is nice, the maids typically finding moments of peace whilst airing it out and checking on the supplies. My sisters aren’t allowed in here.

This studio was a gift from my mother when I was very young, she swears up and down that I’ve always had a talent for painting. Once she even took one of them on one of her trips, said it sold for enough to bring me back new paints. I always thought she said that to try to make me feel better, to get me out of bed. The room seems to be holding its breath, waiting to see if I’m going to sit in it or if I’m just going to leave. I quietly make my way over to the desk, my sketch book sitting on top of it. I run my fingers over the cover, feeling the coarse material catch on the creases of my skin.

Without much thought I reach forward, grabbing one of the pencils from the top of the desk, scooping the sketch book and moving towards the small couch by the window to sit. Art is one of those things I can just do without having to think too much, it lets me zone out and relax and think, while also keeping myself busy so I don’t get antsy. It takes a minute before the pencil starts flowing across the page, but once it does I quickly lose myself in my thoughts.

I start by reminiscing on my youth. When I was very young my father left my mother, she sat alone in his office for weeks, barely eating, she had the servants take care of me. Now I realize she was grieving, but then it felt like she left me. That was really the last time she really was my mother. She came out of that room a different woman. Colder, calmer, like the eye of a storm. She had picked herself up and rebuilt herself into another person. Within weeks she had redone the entire castle, removed all traces of the man that lived there, treating him like nothing more than a random person who had stopped in. The only thing that was left was the few pictures and trinkets I had managed to smuggle out of her path and hid under my bed.

The hurt he left stayed though, and boy did she project it. Lashed out against the servants, getting rid of the men we had hired, replaced it with an all female staff. She grew distant from me for a few years, until I hit puberty. At that point I started growing out of his features and she could finally look at me without seeing his face looking back at her. There were about two years that were good, before they went right back to bad. I was 15 when I started getting sick. It took months before we could figure out what was wrong. A doctor finally did some tests, ruling that I had inherited a rare blood disorder from my mothers side.

My mother had it too, they realized, but it was affecting her far slower. In my case it had progressed in the drop of a hat. It was like my veins were filled with sandpaper. My blood wasn’t flowing right, almost like it was drying out. The doctors said if they couldn’t find a cure I wouldn’t make it past 19.

She spent the next three years scrambling, trying to find a cure for me, for herself. Miracle cure after miracle cure, everything was failing, and by the time I turned 18 I gave up. But 18 turned into 19, and surprising everyone I kept living. Every movement felt like a wildfire, any food felt like it weighed a hundred pounds. Then 19 turned into 20, and that’s when everything changed. When my mother got back from trying to save us again she had become a monster, and in turn forced me into the same life.

It took me several months before I decided to try accepting what she did. By then she had created the others, my siblings. When I first saw them I wanted to throw up, but there was nothing in my body to reject. They had been so grateful, so happy of the new life they were given, and when they realized I wasn’t they were furious. They used to poke at me until I would snap.

Once I started feeding and getting stronger they didn’t change their tunes, still rude and immature, only acting polite in front of mother. When we met the others who were more like my mother, I was surprised. Miranda had welcomed them into her ‘family’ just as she accepted us, and my mother was furious.

I still remember when I first met Heisenberg. He had walked into the house like he owned it, brushed by me like nothing. He didn’t talk for a while at that meeting, only sprinkling in replies once in a while. When Mother Miranda had introduced us all, his eyes didn’t move from the spot they were fixed on the entire time. After the meeting was over, he essentially fled. Mother went on a rant for hours about how disgraceful his behavior was, how clearly he didn’t want or deserve the gift he was given. After she said it I realized that was likely part of his withdrawn behavior, and for a while I sympathized, until he became just like the others.

From that point on my entire perception of him shifted. He wasn’t someone I could understand, he was someone who was on the other side of a line I didn’t want to cross. Until now. Now he’s someone I’m somehow getting close to. He’s there when I need help, he’s been kind and funny and has actually listened to me. Part of me is nervous because what if he tells my mother what I said, but that part is silenced quickly, because I know for a fact he hates her. He might not say it, but it’s obvious in how he behaves around her.

Maybe we aren’t as far apart as I first thought.

@foggyturtleknightangel @beingviolentlyhappy @inesalexandra1995 @loveboldlywingedangel130 @happygalaxymilkshake @dreamslittlebitch

[retelling-of-ragnarok]

i’ve noticed that gwen and karl seem to be an important pair in your story. could you write a scenario with the two of them, i’m curious as to how they interact!

y’know what anon, you’ve reminded me that i’ve posted NOTHING for these two, despite them being the main two characters. so i wrote something that delved a bit into gwen’s past, and why they keep their hands covered. while also taking into account the actions of RPs i’ve done. :3 also tbh their interactions are either intense and entertaining for the two of them, or intense and not good for gwen’s health. one or the other.

edit: its almost midnight, and i am running on little to nO sleep. so i sorta zoned out when writing this. i hope this is okay T~T

WARNINGS: choking on blood, bone breaking. karl typical behaviour.

WORD COUNT: 1700+

“Queen, h6.”

The sounds of chess pieces clacking against the board resonated in the room. Granted, the ‘room’ the two currently sat in resembled that of a level of hell rather than an actual space. The furniture was made purely of magic, and was partially see-through— iridescent; and tendrils of ink spiralled around them, acting as ‘decoration,’ and to hold up their chess board. The two had engaged in small conversation… Well, as small as those two could get. Realistically, it was a nightmare for the servants currently guarding the room’s door. The air was thick, tense. Anyone else would have suffocated under this kind of pressure— but these two seem to thrive in it.

“Interesting. You’ve been strangely aggressive during our game~ It’s our final one, you know. Is there a reason you’re being so reckless?”

Karl’s voice held no genuine care, but more-so mocking curiosity. It was as if he was referring to something else besides their little chess match… And quite honestly, he probably was. The man hasn’t had a real conversation with Gwen throughout the entirety of their stay here. He speaks exclusively in riddles and words that have a deeper meaning, it takes most of the teen’s energy just to understand him, let alone reply.

The man’s legs were crossed, as his hair flowed gracefully behind him. If Karl were less… Demonic, Gwen would have suggested he try out for a role as rapunzel. His cloak traced his frame perfectly. His clothing was perfect, hair and skin were flawless, not a single spec of dirt or wrinkle on him. And his eyes, those godforsaken eyes that could bore into someone, as if judging them entirely. Gwen hated everything about this man. Every fiber of his oh-so-perfect being they wanted to rip to shreds. Alas, they couldn’t— at least, not yet.

“You seem to have a problem with my ‘recklessness,’ Karl. How come? Do I scare you? Put you on edge, perhaps? Or is it that you care for me~? You went ballistic the last time I was here, crying about how it was foolish to pull off a stunt like that. But I did it, despite your protests.”

There goes that stubbornness of theirs. No matter how much they hated him, how much they feared him, they refused to give up their stubbornness so easily. And that’s what made them such an easy plaything. Such an easy thing for Karl to toy around with, why he’s kept them around so long.

There was a chuckle from the vampire, one that sent reverberations up Gwen’s spine. Was he mocking them? Did he think they were some sort of child? Whatever the case, they wanted to rip the voice box right from him.

“Care for you, well isn't that obvious~? I gave you a home, food, training… Even the offer to call me Father-“

Crack. The bishop Gwen had taken from the man cracked, but didn’t break completely. The grip they had on the piece, though, could snap someone’s neck easily. Something felt different… The pieces feel smoother, the air feels cooler. Was something altered?

“Child…” Shit. Karl’s tone felt dangerous this time. The room was darker, and goosebumps appeared rapidly on their skin. They felt like they were being stabbed. Was he mad about a broken chess piece— no, he couldn’t have been. They’ve each broken god knows how many of them, and it’s never been an issue. So what—

Hands. His gloved hands were on their own… Oh, oh. Their gloves were gone. Their gloves were gone. They didn’t… They didn’t put them on. Their blood ran cold, and all the air left their lungs. Karl’s hand movements could be considered gentle at first glance— thumbs gently running over their knuckles, his hands covering theirs. Though when Gwen made an effort to move, his hands clamped down, completely shattering their knuckles and ripping a few of their tendons. They bit down on their tongue, hard, a strangled cry being muffled from behind their lips.

“No no, don’t try to touch me. How cruel of you, touching my possessions with your diseased hands… Are you trying to kill me, perhaps? Before our scheduled date? Such tackiness...”

The man punctuated his word with rough tugs to the kid’s wrist, the bones in it breaking as well. It was like he was trying to shatter their arm completely. Tears pricked at Gwen’s eyes, as blood began to flow from their tongue. They had broken such a basic rule… Such a simple instruction— and they couldn’t even follow it correctly. They’ve felt this kind of punishment before from him, that time.

“What’s this? You’re drawing blood now? My my… It seems your time ‘as an adult’ has gone to your head, hm? You’ve forgotten everything I’ve taught you. Such a waste of time, wouldn’t you agree? I give you resources, training methods, freedom… And you repay me with ignorance. I thought you were smarter than this, my boy.”

With another rough yank from him, Gwen was standing now. They couldn’t feel their hands or forearms, but stabbing pain shot up their arm. They kept their mouth closed, leaving them no choice but to swallow the blood that flooded from their tongue. It was nauseating, disgusting… Revolting. They hated it, they hated it so much. Thin streams of tears flowed from their eyes, as they did their best to blink them back. They felt like choking, suffocating even, and had to force themselves not to sob when a hand came up to caress their cheek. His thumb wiped some tears from under their eyes, before a scalding burn came from the finger. They gagged, choking on blood as they held back a scream.

“You’re crying. Why? I know it isn’t from the pain, you know better than to cry from something so trivial. I suppose you’re remembering your mistake, yes? I don’t treat you badly, you know that. I’m simply doing my best to make sure you don’t get into another… accident.”

Was he treating them badly, or was Gwen being ungrateful? He’d given them a home, made sure no one came after them… Were they the one causing problems? No, no they couldn’t be, right? They always made sure not to seem ungrateful.

“You remember it don’t you? The poor woman was working in return for medicine to heal her child. Do you know how difficult it was to explain why his mother couldn’t go home that day? The boy was just a child, who had his only family stripped from him. He had to die. At home. Alone. You killed them, both of them. Stripped a family of such a happy life…”

Gwen was shaking by this point. Their eyes were wide, dilated. They were glowing brightly with pure terror. They wanted to cry, vomit, but they couldn’t . They were choking, trying so damn hard to not make a mess with their sputtering. It felt like blood was building up in their throat, they couldn’t breath. They didn’t mean to… They didn’t mean it! They were trying to help— she was struggling, so they helped her! She hugged them afterwards. A hug, yes. A hug! That’s all it was! They didn’t-

“But you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you? Family. You weren’t blessed with such a thing, huh? You were given up to someone like me after all. It makes me think they were waiting to get rid of you, and for good reason, I’m sure. No one wants a child who destroys everything they touch…”

They wanted to fold over. They couldn’t move their arms, they couldn’t breathe. Helpless in this man’s arms… Again. Just like back then. They’re a child. A reckless, pathetic, destructive child. They were dropped onto the ground, body slumping over as they went numb. Their jaw had went slack, as they heaved and coughed. Blood, both clotted and not, covered the ground below them. No. No no no, they can’t make a mess. They’ll seem ungrateful if they do. They couldn’t even make an attempt to cover their mouth… pathetic. Even more so as the man’s foot came in contact with their already injured hand, causing them to cry out. It hurts… It hurts so much. Why? Why does it hurt this bad. It shouldn’t… Have they gotten weaker? Or were they naive, and not as strong as they thought they were? Had they really not gotten any better? The pure disappointment radiating from the man gave them their answer. Tears were spilling onto the floor. They were shaking, and their hands were going numb.

“What have I told you… About messes.”

The heel of his shoe dug into the skin on their hand. Blood spilled from it as they coughed at the pain. It stung, their skin was ripping. It hurts… Hurts so much. They couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move. Their tongue was heavy in their mouth, the metallic taste getting stronger by the second. They wanted to get rid of it, burn the taste from their mouth. They were lightheaded, memories from their childhood flooding their mind. A woman’s scream, the smell of blood… The feeling of blood on their hands, smell of burning skin. They coughed again, more blood sputtering from their lips. God they were going to vomit.

In an instant, the lights in the room were on again. All magic had been drained from it. The chess board lay on the floor, both parties' moves being splayed out to them. Karl had stepped back from them, the only feeling being the numb, yet stabbing pain in their hands and arms. They might as well have lost them in this condition. They couldn’t see properly, and haven’t blinked for a couple minutes they’re sure. Their body felt like it was nailed to the floor. Their ears were ringing, and vision began to spin. They wanted to yell, say they were sorry. Apologise, do anything to make it stop. But they couldn’t. They couldn’t speak. Their tongue wouldn’t move—

Karl had given them a simple instruction that day. ‘Always keep your hands covered’ He would tell them. ‘Anything will work, even if it’s partial.’ They had followed his rules to a T ever since. Never taking off their gloves unless they were painting. Never letting anyone see their hands. Never touching anyone with their bare hands… Had they gotten comfortable? Had such simple interactions with others made them forget. What if they had hurt one of them as well? It would have been a mess… It would have been their fault. A broken cry left their lips, though it was quiet. Their throat was closing, and they were hyperventilating now. They were foolish. Put others in unnecessary harm, and for what?

“Get up. Your old room is still here, I’m sure you know what’s waiting for you. So go. Clean up your mess while you’re at it, you’re disgusting. And you’ll do well to follow my instructions this time— lest you wish for your freedom to be taken from you, again.”

[joezworld]

Fools in Love (2/10)

This, and all the stories after it, exist because I saw this post. Damn you @mean-scarlet-deceiver I was using my free time!

Thank You Donna Summer

1977

"I'm telling you, there's something wrong with me!" Bear protested as the workmen slammed his maintenance hatches shut. He'd been feeling unusual for some time - nothing major, but a niggling feeling of something being off. It was driving him nutty, and the men could find nothing wrong.

"Well boy-o," said Clive the foreman. "At this point the only thing we haven't done at this point is take you to pieces - and we aren’t doing that!"

"But it feels weird!"

"Tough. We'll deal with it during your next overhaul." The man said firmly, before following his men out the door of the shed.

"And people call Henry a hypochondriac." Muttered Gordon sleepily.

"He actually had boiler sludge and you know it!" The Hymek snapped as his crankshaft did another flip-flop. "And I'm not saying this just for attention - do you think I like having my hatches pulled every night?"

"Considering how often it's happened this month, I'd say that you must." Gordon sighed as he closed his eyes and went to sleep.

Bear seethed for the rest of the night, and was still snappish when he was backed down onto The Limited in the morning.

"You are in a dreadful state today. Are you feeling all right?" The lead coach asked as the passengers boarded.

"No, I'm not." Bear scowled, and said no more.

"Right," the coach murmured. Hopefully nothing goes wrong today, or he'll be apoplectic. She thought to herself.

-------

Kellsthorpe Road

Predictably, things went very wrong.

Late passengers, late connections, a cow on the line, and a broken signal arm meant that the train was almost an hour late by the time Bear and his coaches staggered into Kellsthorpe.

To add injury to insult, something was now noticeably wrong with Bear.

In addition to whatever imagined maladies he had, there was a new shooting pain in his gearbox that got worse each time his driver changed up or down. 

As they set off from the station, there was a loud CRACK from Bear's gearbox, and an even louder shout of pain from his mouth as the train ground to a halt.

"I told you that there was something wrong!" Bear hissed as his driver slid underneath his front bogie.

He came out moments later, drenched in oil.

"Well, that's torn it!" He groaned as he wiped his hands. "A seal failed and all the oil is gone from your transmission. I'm surprised we made it this far before you disintegrated something."

And that was that. Bear couldn’t move under his own power, so a rescue engine was summoned while the passengers grumbled unhappily about the delay. Bear was also unhappy, but had passed the point of being able to speak without turning the air blue with swears, so he stayed silent.

"As much as I sympathize with them, they should be grateful that they aren't taking a bus!" The lead coach whispered as the signal arm dropped, indicating that the rescue engine was approaching.

Bear hoped it wasn’t James - he'd never hear the end of it if the red engine discovered a perceived weakness.

As the engine puffed into view, Bear's anger and frustration evaporated as he saw that it wasn't James, but instead Henry.

"Am I ever glad to see you!" He called out, eliciting a broad smile from his friend.

"What kind of an engine would I be if I ignored a friend in need?" Henry said as his crew coupled them together.

Bear smiled in return, ignoring the sudden resurgence of his nausea.

---

Talking seemed to help settle his systems - then again, talking with Henry always seemed to help his emotional state; conversation flowed between them with an effortless ease that Bear couldn’t really replicate with anyone else - and the trip to Crovan's Gate was filled with idle conversation about what had gone on since they'd last spoken:

James had once again annoyed a visiting diesel into apoplectic fury with an inane series of questions,

Douglas was still fuming over the officiating that cost Cronk's rugby team their match,

Thomas was still driving everyone on his branch crazy with ABBA - he knew the words, but had no singing ability at all,

And there was a new song that was sweeping the Island's record stores, to the point where a lot of the younger cleaners were bemoaning their long work days, as it meant that they couldn't get to the store before all copies sold out.

"I heard a bit of it in the sheds last week," Henry confided as he rolled tender-first towards Crovan's Gate. I think I'm getting old, because I did not like it at all."

"And yet you look just as dashing as you did on the day I met you."

"One of the perks of being made out of metal I suppose. It's the secret to my eternally good looks."

"But I'm made of metal, so isn't it my secret as well?"

"Gasp. I guess that it will have to be our  secret to eternal beauty then."

Bear's smile couldn’t cover the wince that accompanied another unusual feeling from deep within his frame.

"What's wrong?" Henry asked, his voice colored with concern.

"I don't know. I've been feeling unusual for a while now. They've gone through every one of my systems and they can't find anything."

"What does it feel like?"

"It's very strange - my driver says it sounds like indigestion. At some points I get this feeling of, like, like my insides are moving in a way that they shouldn't be, and everything feels light and fluttery... are you all right?"

Henry didn't answer. His concerned expression had suddenly turned into a painful grimace, while steam began pouring out of places it shouldn't be.

For the second time that day, The Limited ground to halt as Henry’s driver stopped the train and dampened his fire.

"I think this train is just cursed," he said as he poked his head in-between Henry’s wheels. "Something has ruptured, but I have no idea what."

Bear closed his eyes in frustration. "If Spamcan shows up as our rescue engine, I..."

He trailed off as Henry laughed.

--

More than an hour later, the train finally limped into Crovan's Gate. A very bemused Class 46 that had been summoned from the mainland was now towing Henry and Bear, neither of whom could stop laughing long enough to explain the joke.

As she shunted them into the Works yard, they finally were able to tell her why they were laughing. The 46 regarded the two with amusement in her eyes. "You two are a pair and a half, you know that?"

"I had an inkling." Henry said, grateful that he'd been laughing too hard to pay any attention to his ruptured steam line before the men dropped his fire. Now that there wasn’t any steam pressure, it hurt a lot less.

Bear, whose gearbox had gone numb, was still chuckling at the absurdity of this 'superb rescue'.

The 46 rolled away as the workmen arrived, and any further conversation was halted as they began pulling tools from cases.

--

That night

"Oh, that's right! I wanted to ask you," Henry said suddenly. "What did those feelings feel like? Indigestion?"

"Yes," Bear said after a moment. "Indigestion, crossed with a broken motor mount. It feels strange, like I'm being filled with helium and lead at the same time."

"This is going to feel incredibly strange, but I feel the same way." Henry said after a moment. "It's like I have an ache in the pit of my boiler, but at the same time I feel energetic - like I'm pulling the express."

"Does it change sometimes?"

"Yes it does. Are you going to tell me that sometimes you feel better and nauseous at the same time?"

"Yes! I feel that way right now as a matter of fact."

"As do I. " Henry paused to acknowledge the incredulous situation they were in. "What a pair we are - Miss Spamcan was right! We break down on the same day, and we have the same phantom illnesses."

"And we're both green."

"And we're both green! How could I forget that? If you squint hard enough, we're essentially the same engine."

"Will you two shut up!" Came a cry from across the works. Several of the workmen were clustered around a radio. "We're trying to listen!"

Turning back to the radio, the man turned up the volume knob, allowing a thumping bass line to fill the works.

"I think this is that song I was talking about earlier." Henry whispered to Bear.

Ooh it's so good, it's so good

It's so good, it's so good

It's so good

Ooh I'm in love, I'm in love

I'm in love, I'm in love

I'm in love...

--

The song was very long - apparently it was some kind of "extended club mix", and the workers were very enthusiastic about it.

Henry and Bear... were not.

"Honestly, I'm quite nonplussed." Bear remarked after spending a few moments searching for the right words. "It's just the same words over and over again."

"It's for dancing mate!" Said one of the men as he swept up. "You're supposed to feel the beat and get moving!"

"I can't dance." Bear looked down at the rails. And I can only really move forward and backwards."

"Maybe you could spin around on the turntable, and that would count." Henry chimed in.

"I think I'd just get sick."

"Perhaps."

"I cannot believe you two!" Cried a young cleaner. "That was an amazing song! How can you not like it?"

"It's repetitive and goes nowhere." Henry said. "It's repeating the same words over and over again. I understand that she 'feels love', but she never said what she was feeling. What does love feel like?"

That brought the entire works to a stop. The men looked from each other nervously. Henry was puzzled. "What did I say?"

"Nothing!" Said one of the men quickly. "It's just... uhh... oh would you lookatthetimegoodbye!"

He fled into the staff break room, followed by several of his co-workers.

Henry and Bear watched with bafflement as the shed emptied at lightning speed. Soon, only two cleaners were left - Karl, the senior cleaner who had been on Sodor since the 1940's, and a young man whom neither engine knew.

"Children, the lot of 'em." Karl groused as he cleared up a patch of spilled oil. "It's like they've never been asked a difficult question."

"What was the question?" Henry, Bear, and the young cleaner asked together.

"Seriously?" Karl looked up from the oil slick. "None of ye know what 'e said?"

"No."

"Nope."

"I have no idea."

Karl groaned as ge held his head in his hands. "Love, you great ignoramus! You asked about what love felt like!"

"So?" None of Henry’s confusion was lifted.

"You're an engine!" Karl said after a moment of shocked, silent, gesticulation. "Engines don't ask what that means!"

"Why not?" This came from the young cleaner, who cocked his head in confusion.

"I- I- you- it's just..." Karl trailed off, his boisterous shock deflating into a curious silence. "I don't know. Now that I think about it, I don't think it's ever happened before."

"Well it's happened now." Said Bear, now genuinely curious about the answer to the question. "What does love feel like?"

Karl looked like he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole. He turned to the young cleaner for help, and got none.

"Don't look at me. I'm still single. You're the one who married his childhood sweetheart."

Karl glowered for a moment before pulling himself together. "Fine. You lads want to know what love is? It's like a sickness. And you enjoy it. Just thinking about whoever you're smitten on and your pulse races, breath quickens, and you feel like you're going to vomit. Every time I saw my Maria before I told her how I felt, I wanted to run and hide, but never wanted to be more than more than a foot from her. She made me feel like shouting from the rooftops that I loved her, and I was fookin' terrified that she'd find out. It was awful!"

"What did you end up doing?" The young cleaner asked.

"I told 'er! It helped that I'd known her for years, but I just sacked up and told her how I felt." He paused, fiddling with his wedding ring as he did so. "And she said she loved me too. And then I threw up on her shoes."

He smirked slightly. "I was not smooth. But she still said yes! And that's all that matters."

Henry raised an eyebrow. "So you feel sick and that's love? That's what that song was about?"

"No! It's enjoyable! I wouldn't trade how I felt for all the gold in the world, and neither would Maria. We've been married for 38 years, and I still love her with all the strength in my body. I'd do anything for her."

He glanced over at the now-quiet radio. "That song is about how it feels to be in love, from a youngster's view - your emotions run hot, and you can't imagine anything but the object of your affections."

He turned to the young cleaner, caught up in the passion of his speech. "And you would do well to remember that it won't always feel like that, laddie! At some point, those emotions will calm back down, and you'll be left with a quiet set of feelings. And if you're stupid, ye might think that it's over, but it isn't! That just means that you've pulled the iron out of the fire, and it's cooled into a strong, solid love that will last the ages. You follow that advice and you'll stay a happy man!"

Henry and Bear watched in surprise. They'd both known Karl for years, and had never seen him this openly emotive before.

Karl blinked as he calmed down. "Well, I wasn't expecting that to come out, but yeah, that's what love feels like."

Glancing at the clock, his eyebrows raised into his graying hair. "Cripes, it's past quitting time. I've got to be home in time for dinner!"

He quickly packed up his cleaning supplies and dragged the young cleaner into the break room. In just a few short minutes, the works were empty save for Henry and Bear.

"Humans are strange." Bear said finally.

"That statement assumes that we are normal."

"What makes you think that we're not?"

"Fair point."

"Bear."

-

As the night wore on, easy conversation slowly turned into sleepy conversation, then yawning, before the two engines decided to turn in for the night.

About 15 minutes passed before Bear's eyes snapped open. The penny had just dropped, and it felt like the farthing wasn’t too far behind. 

"Henry?"

"Yes?" Henry evidently wasn't asleep either.

"Do you remember how we acted in 1971?"

"Why yes, I do. I also remember how we acted in 1969, 1972, 1973, 1974, 1975, and 1976." Henry’s voice sounded calm, which meant that he was probably on the verge of screaming.

"Interesting." Then again, Bear wasn’t too far behind him on 'nearly screaming' front. "Do you also remember that the indigestion that we both seem to be suffering from -"

"Increases whenever I see or talk or think about you? Yes."

"Henry, are we feeling love? Right now?"

"Yes. I believe we are."

"Good. What do we do now?"

"I have no idea."

"Neither do I."

"Fuck."

[goth-surana]

Hope and Hopelessness Chapter 4

Chapter 4 of 7(?)

Main pairing: Anders/Male Hawke

Main tags: Angst with a happy ending, tranquil!Anders, cure for tranquility

Summary: After some time on the run with Hawke, Anders is caught and made tranquil. Hawke cannot bring himself to kill him, instead chasing a distant hope that there may be a cure.

Read on AO3 or below the cut

Hawke was on his last fucking legs when the letter arrived. More dead ends, more people recognizing them and therefore more fights

The inquisition was handling some amount of the chaos in the world, but enough was left that Hawke and Anders still had to make their way through.

Hawke wished they could still be helping the rebel mages from afar, but now they were too concerned with their own survival. Now Anders was practically defenseless. Sure, he still knew how to swing a staff as a weapon, but he was no longer the powerhouse he used to be without his magic.

Hawke used to get frustrated with Justice a lot, but now he missed the bastard. He may have worked Anders to the bone, may have been somewhat unreasonable, but by the Maker had he protected Anders. Hawke didn’t have to worry so much, knowing Justice was there.

When the messenger found them Hawke almost punched her in the face. She moved too quickly, too silently.

“I’m a friend!” the scrawny elf said after she deftly avoided Hawke. “Tethras sent me.”

She handed Hawke the letter, and scurried off without a word.

Hawke opened the letter and what was inside stole his breath away.

“We found a cure. I’ll grant you safe passage to Skyhold.”

Hawke’s hands went numb holding that letter, his eyes fixed on that first sentence.

It couldn’t be real. It. It couldn’t…

Hawke made it to a back alley before his knees gave out and he sank to the ground. His hands shook, his shoulders shook as he began to cry.

There was hope. There was a way to bring his love back.

“Hawke?” Anders asked. “What has upset you?”

Hawke just shook his head, unable to stem the flow of tears. He had stopped crying so long ago, and now that he started again he couldn’t seem to stop.

Anders waited patiently for him, standing passively. Eventually Hawke stopped crying long enough to speak.

“We’re going to Skyhold.”

Anders regarded him for a moment. “Okay.”

Hawke stood on shaking legs, then stared at Anders. He looked into his vacant eyes and thought about how they would be once more filled with emotion and anger and laughter, full of everything that made Anders himself.

There was hope. Hawke hadn’t been needlessly torturing Anders every day, hadn’t been prolonging his suffering for nothing. Hawke had made the right choice.

On the first night of their journey to Skyhold, Anders had figured out the contents of the letter.

“There is a cure,” he said simply.

“…why do you think that?” Hawke hadn’t been sure how Anders would react. Would he resist?

“Because of your emotional reaction to the letter. You have not cried like that in some time. I thought at first that you were given evidence of an inability to cure tranquility, but were that the case you would have killed me when we were away from sight.”

“You… you were going to let me kill you?” Hawke asked.

“I was not certain you would. The news would have to be either of a cure or of the absence of a cure to cause your reaction. If I ran from you I would likely die. But if I stayed with you there was a small possibility I would not die.”

Hawke just shook his head. Even after all this time, Anders’ blank deductions broke his heart just a tiny bit more. Only now there was an end in sight.

“You’re not going to resist?” Hawke asked. “I thought you were fine being tranquil.”

“I am,” said Anders, “but you are not. If I stay with you, you will force me to go through with the cure. If I run, I will die. I am skeptical about this cure you speak of, but I do not want to die.”

Another blow to Hawke’s heart. But Anders was right. No matter what Anders’ feelings on the matter were now, Hawke would make sure he was cured. He remembered what Karl described tranquility as, knew Anders could never truly be happy in such a state.

Before Hawke would have said he would never force Anders to do anything. Anders’ whole life had been full of others forcing their will upon him, Anders deserved to be free…

But not this time. This was Hawke’s breaking point, and he was making this decision for Anders.

They didn’t talk much during the rest of the journey. Hawke wondered if Anders was nervous about being cured, if he was even capable of nervousness.

Hawke didn’t know how he felt right now. It wasn’t happy, not yet. He wouldn’t be happy until he saw Anders returned to him. Until then, he was… hopeful. That too was a foreign feeling after so long. Hawke may have refused to give up hope completely, but he had been living with so little of it that it couldn’t be felt.

Skyhold was incredible, massive and daunting. Hawke and Anders both covered their heads with cloaks, it was still a secret that they were coming here. Many here would see Anders dead, so Hawke was content with the secrecy.

How many of those people also wished him dead, he wondered? Fewer, he knew. While he was an outlaw, a strange tale of a hero still followed him. Hawke found that strange, because he made it clear he supported Anders. Hawke doesn’t even know if he would have stopped him if he knew about the chantry… it was an awful thing, but wasn’t Kirkwall full of awful things? Hawke had done many awful things… with far less noble intentions.

Varric’s tales of Hawke as a hero had overwritten his past as a scoundrel, it seemed. A very affable scoundrel, but a scoundrel nonetheless. Hawke knew Varric’s stories also portrayed Anders in a positive light, despite how angry he was. But that wasn’t enough to sway public opinion. Why was that, Hawke wondered? Was it just easier to hate a mage, easier to love a man born from noble blood?

If Hawke could, he would take all the hate for Anders onto himself. He played no small part in the escalation of the violence in Kirkwall, although Varric tended to omit those parts. Hawke fought the bloody night commander at every turn, and probably had some hand in making her paranoid enough to try to annul the Circle.

It was no use dwelling on the past. Could there have been a peaceful solution to the monster that was Kirkwall? Probably not, in Hawke’s opinion. Others might say different, and maybe they were right, but Hawke was a jaded man. He had just seen too much.

An inquisition soldier met Hawke and escorted him and Anders through the stone halls. The young man was clearly nervous, knowing who he led.

They came to an imposing set of doors, and were let into a wide room with a large table in the center. Chairs surrounded the table, and Varric sat in one. Hawke caught his friend’s eye and wished he could muster a smile. He hadn’t seen Varric in a long time.

Next to Varric sat a woman who must be the Inquisitor herself. Whatever Hawke expected, this was not it.

It wasn’t that the woman was Tal-Vashoth, it wasn’t that she was a mage. He had thought she would be imposing in her stature, and maybe she was at her full height. But right now she was leaning on one elbow, long brown hair falling across her shoulders as she looked up at Hawke with sad, tired eyes.

Hawke recognized that look, it was the look of someone who needed a fucking break.

“Champion,” she said, smiling slightly. There was something familiar in her appearance, in her coloring and her ice-blue eyes.

The woman stood and walked over to Hawke, extending a hand. Hawke had been right before, she was more imposing at her full height. Hawke and Anders were by no means short, but she was at least a head taller.

“Rosalind Adaar,” she introduced herself, shaking Hawke’s hand.

Oh, Hawke realized. She was the daughter of the Tal-Vashoth couple that had saved his and Anders’ lives. The world had an odd way of playing jokes on him.

Hawke was about to respond, when the world decided it would be even funnier. The doors burst open, and in walked Cullen Rutherford.

Hawke barely had time to balk before he was speaking.

“Adaar, what is the meaning of this? Varric sent for Hawke?” He asked incredulously.

“You knew!” Came a new voice, a woman’s voice. She was tall, carried herself like a warrior and had short black hair.

“You lied to me! You always knew where the Champion was.”

“Why is-“ Cullen began, and then his eyes landed on Anders. The man’s expression turned to shock.

Hawke stepped in front of him, holding out a protective hand.

“Don’t get any ideas!” Hawke snarled. “We were promised safe passage by your inquisitor.”

What in the Maker’s name was Cullen bloody Rutherford doing here, and why hadn’t Varric told him? It seemed Varric was lying to quite a few people these days.

“Cool it, Curly,” said Varric, getting up from his chair. “He’s telling the truth, Sunflower promised they would both be safe here.”

Hawke presumed “Sunflower” referred to the Inquisitor. Varric seemed to have a thing against calling anyone by their name, excluding Hawke. Hawke had always wondered if it was because his name already sounded like a description.

“No!” The woman exclaimed in surprise. “Do not tell me… if that is the Champion, the man with him-“

“Is under my protection,” Adaar cut in firmly, her arms crossed. “I am Andraste’s chosen, am I not? That’s what you always say.”

The way she said that and the look she gave the woman spoke of some backstory there. An old argument.

“I will not allow this inquisition to shelter that murderer!” The woman responded.

“My inquisition,” Adaar said. “You keep telling me it’s my call to make, that I need to step up as the leader. Well I’m bloody doing it now, and I extended my protection to Hawke and Anders.”

The woman was about to reply when Anders took his hood off, probably because it was obvious now who he was.

“You’re tranquil…” the woman said. “I had not heard that. You could have told me that, Inquisitor. I would not have objected to his being here as much as I do now.”

Hawke wanted to punch that woman. She sounded relieved, relieved that Anders wasn’t dangerous. Wasn’t that how everyone saw mages? The rest of Thedas liked to pretend they weren’t the Qunari, but “dangerous thing” was all that mages were to them.

“Cassandra…” Adaar said calmly, but tiredly. “He won’t be tranquil for long. I’m testing out the cure.”

“You wish to return this murderer to his full power?!” Cassandra almost yelled. “Inside our base! Inside all we have worked to build!”

“I wish to return this man to his mind,” said Adaar. “Does his being tranquil make you feel safe, Seeker?” Adaar practically sneered. The two women may be coworkers, but something was clearly bubbling under the surface.

“Of course it does,” replied Cassandra, “you know well what he is capable of.”

“The same as I’m capable of,” said Adaar. “Same as any mage. Would it make you feel safer if I was tranquil too?”

Hawke felt he should really not be in the middle of this. He had clearly walked right into a storm.

“I have never begrudged you for what you are! You are the Inquisitor, and I have always respected you as such.” Cassandra shot back.

This only made Adaar’s face grow darker. “I am a mage, Cassandra. I have always been a mage, always will be a mage, even if you refuse to acknowledge it.”

“I do not see you as merely a mage!” Cassandra responded, frustrated.

“You don’t see me as a mage at all!” Adaar raised her voice, clearly some deep frustration boiling over. “Say it Casandra, say I’m a mage because it’s what I fucking am! I know none of you want to see it, none of you want to reconcile that you work for a mage, I know you think I’m different, but I’m not! I’m just like the others! If you’re so happy with fucking tranquility then brand me right now, because every mage you feel glad is tranquil is me. We are the same!”

Cassandra took a step back, still angry but somewhat stunned. “I would never wish you tranquil.”

“Every mage you hurt is me!” Adaar replied, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. “None of you see it because you’re all so busy pretending I’m not a mage! Do you know what Sera said to me the other day?”

Adaar almost laughed, but clearly she was miserable.

“I know you and Sera don’t always see eye to eye-“ Cullen began, raising a placating hand.

“She was worried, because of my training as an arcane warrior, that I was becoming like them! Like other mages! Dangerous things…”

Tears fell from Adaar’s eyes. “I’m sick of it. You all say you respect me but do you respect what I am?”

Cassandra had no answer for that. She looked taken aback, and tried to regain control of the conversation.

“This-“ she pointed to Anders, “is an important matter. You still let a murderer into Skyhold-“

“We’re all bloody murderers!” Adaar snapped. Then she took a deep breath and steadied herself. “… I’ve made my decision as Inquisitor. You may inform the inner circle but no one else. Leliana already knows.”

She sounded so very tired, as tired and full of hurt as Hawke was now accustomed to feeling.

Cassandra left in huff, storming from the room. Cullen made to leave as well, when Adaar stopped him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Cullen.”

“Adaa- Rosalind, please don’t think I would ever want you tranquil…”

The man looked genuinely hurt. What a joke, Hawke thought to himself. This monster had stood by when dozens of mages were made tranquil. Something was clearly different about Cullen now though, especially as the Inquisitor didn’t actually look mad at him.

“I don’t think you do,” Adaar assured him, “I don’t think any of you do… and you know, you actually see me as a mage. I don’t have to be someone I’m not around you… so thank you.”

“I know that has been a source of contention between us in the past…”

“What we fought about was better than the silence I get from the others,” Rosalind huffed. “And you know we’re past that. I know you were a Templar and I recognize that about you, you know I am an apostate and you recognize that about me. You’re my friend, Cullen.”

Hawke must be fucking dreaming. Cullen, friends with an apostate? This Rosalind woman was showing him genuine charitability… she must not know who he was. Hawke filed that away for later in his mind, but didn’t voice anything. It wasn’t his business, he didn’t know these people. He was here for the cure, nothing else.

Well… he had agreed to help them with Corypheus, that was part of the exchange. Before he hadn’t thought of that as his responsibility, he had already tried his hand at killing the bastard. But the inquisition’s spymaster still wanted his take on the situation.

“I’m sorry you had to see that, Champion,” Adaar said. “I am… not at my best, currently.”

“Don’t worry,” Hawke replied, “I’m not either. And just call me Hawke. Kinda got sick of the whole “Champion” thing.”

Adaar chuckled. “I can relate. I’ve spent so long being the Inquisitor now, it’s hard to remember being myself. Rosalind, Roz, Adaar…even Sunflower, those all suit me better.”

The room was silent for a moment after, all present acknowledging how tired they all were. Thankfully, Cullen left. Hawke breathed a sigh of relief. Cullen may be different now, but Hawke didn’t trust him around Anders. Hawke still remembered his words back in Kirkwall, his actions back in Kirkwall.

“How do we cure Anders?” Hawke asked the room. This nightmare needed to be over soon.

“Right,” said Adaar, giving her head a small shake. “It turns out that the Seekers of Truth have known the cure for tranquility for some time now. They… they kept it from the world…”

Adaar’s eyes were brimming with tears again, she looked furious.

“The Seekers that you’ve been working with,” Hawke pointed out.

Adaar smiled sardonically, wiping a tear from her cheek. “Cassandra didn’t know… but those above her did. I’m… I’m so sick of this place, honestly, but I’m too involved to leave. I have too much power at my disposal to leave, I have the power to help mages.”

The conviction in her voice was so painfully familiar. Hawke smiled at the woman. Adaar continued to explain.

“To cure the tranquil, a spirit must touch their mind. The problem is convincing a spirit to do that, so a spirit healer is needed.”

“And you have one?”

“Not yet, but Leliana sent for Commander Surana.”

“Surana’s a spirit healer?” Hawke asked, startled. The woman hadn’t seemed to have much of a knack for healing. Hawke’s shoulder remembered that.

“Leliana said she learned on the battlefield,” said Varric, easily sliding into his role as storyteller. “So her methods were… unconventional and untrained.”

“But she can connect with a spirit of the Fade,” came a new voice. Entering the room was a red-haired woman that Hawke knew must be Leliana.

“And,” the woman continued, “my beloved is willing to make the connection to help her dear friend. She should be arriving tomorrow.”

“We will be safe for the night?” Hawke asked, frowning.

“As long as you are under my protection, no one will touch you,” Adaar said firmly.

“Why are you doing this for us?” Hawke asked, trying and failing to let his guard drop for even a minute. The world was cruel, they shouldn’t keep meeting people who were kind. First they met Adaar’s kind parents, and how she was going out of her way to help.

“It’s the right thing to do,” Adaar told him. “Anders started something incredible, something I never thought I’d see in my lifetime. Ever since I was a girl I’d known that tranquility would likely be my fate were I ever caught… thanks to him, there is a future where the next little Vashoth mage grows up without that fear. Where every mage has a family like I did.”

Leliana spoke next. “My feelings on his actions may be complicated, but he has allowed the dream of my beloved to come true. Adaar and I want to build a world without Circles, where people like my Regan will never be caged again.”

“And,” Varric added quietly, “… people care about him. He was a good friend.I wasn’t just gonna let him stay like this, and Commander Surana wasn’t either. You know, Hawke, you don’t have a monopoly on caring for Anders.”

Varric chuckled while he said it, but the sincerity in his voice brought tears to Hawke’s eyes.

“I…” Hawke said, making sure he kept his composure. “I suppose I just got used to being his only protector.”

“And you’ve done your job,” Varric assured Hawke. “You brought him here. Now let the rest of his friends and supporters handle it. We’ll bring him back to you.”

Hawke took a sharp breath, covering his face as he began to cry. This was real. This was happening.

[simpingforthisonedeer]

Chapter 9: Tempestuous II

Summary: Julius finds Aika in the Wizard King's study; One of the important reasons for Aika's hesitance is discovered; And there's a five-leaf grimoire👀👀

Notes: 

- completely SFW

- 4k words, a relatively short read compared to my other chapters agfdsghfjhl. - There are also more clues as to what Julius is and I give you one letter. If you figure it out from just that, I will legitimately shit myself. - I introduce an original character who is Marx's older brother and like all side characters, he is important.

- Be sure to check the notes at the end and enjoy (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Aika sat down on her most favourite sofa in the Wizard King’s study with a sigh and a cup of tea. She had just finished tearing down all the talisman stuck to the shelves and walls that prevented anyone from detecting the room and noticing the door from the actual office which was also covered by a painting. She had her personal books in a few dozen stacks around her, ready to be shoved into her backpack but she decided to take a small break.

She could faintly hear the muffled discussion on the other side of the wall of Julius apologizing profusely to someone named “Marx.” Aika had recently confirmed it was Marx Francois, Julius’ advisor and attendant. He may not know her, but Aika knew him well enough. His older brother, Karl Francois, is the president of her company and a close friend of hers and he would sometimes tell her about his brother.

Aika sighed contentedly into her cup. She should have tea with him sometime, especially since she doesn't have her amulet to walk around the castle without scrutiny. She did vaguely remember Karl mentioning that Marx liked black tea.

She turned to the door leading to the office curiously when all became quiet. She heard a door swing shut and some sound of shuffling on the other side of the wall and the door in front of her slammed open.

“Aika!” The invader exclaimed. Her heart jumped when she realized owner of the voice.

“Julius,” she greeted cordially. “I suppose Master Raymond told you about the hidden study?”

He rubbed the back of his head.

“Well, not really. I asked him where I could find you. That’s when he told me about the study.”

She hummed in response. So, he was thinking about her.

“Good. Would you like a cup of tea while you tell me how the banquet went?” She asked politely as she patted the sofa next to her.

“No, no, no,” he shook his head as he strode to where she sat. “You are going to answer my questions.” He plopped down next to her a respectable distance away but still too close. She expected him to sit on the other end of the sofa, not directly next to her. She calmed herself as she served him tea.

“First of all, why are you wearing that?” Julius asked, pointing in the general direction of her face. Aika turned to him curiously as she handed him the tea.

“The wha—Oh.” Right, she was wearing a silk blindfold. Sometimes her eyes hurt and become sensitive to light because she had them open for too long. She used Mana Zone often and completely forgot. She couldn’t properly work in this state but it did allow her to organize her thoughts and meditate.

“My eyes hurt,” she answered simply. 

“But you are moving like you can see…” he murmured to himself. “Are you using Mana Zone? I heard that most blind people are quite adept at using it to do their day-to-day tasks.”

Oh, Aika knew that very well. She was blind for a year when she was around 20 and had practically used Mana Zone every waking moment. Due to the ritual she did that made her blind, she had also gained a weak form of clairvoyance, so she could still perceive things around her as if it were normal when she combined it with Mana Zone. The only downsides were that she couldn’t see color.

“Yes,” she answered, wincing internally at the cold tone. While she wanted to keep him at an arm’s length, she didn’t want to seem rude.

“I see, I see,” he nodded to himself, thankfully unfazed. “Tell me more about your company!”

“Well,” she began as she crossed her legs and slipped off her blindfold.

When Aika turned to him, his breath caught. In the dim firelight of the study, her eyes still seemed to glow on their own. His vision seemed to grow sharper and he could count every speck in her eye. He felt his mouth go dry. Oh, there was nothing Julius wanted more than to be held by her again.

She regarded him with a puzzled expression.

“Are you alright?”

“Y-Yes, Aika. I’m fine.” He looked away as he took a rejuvenating sip of tea.

“Okay, so, I started my company as a means to gather intelligence and sell it. We have agents called Eyes & Ears and they basically gather vital information about any and everything and a lot of times it includes spy work. So we also do private investigations and some mercenary work. But that seemed too limiting, so I expanded my horizons into research and education. My R&D department creates magic items and medical practices that would support their local communities and every few years, they collaborate on department-wide projects that are for the benefit of all.” Aika smiled, amused at the way he hung on to her every word.

“We have intensive job training programs of all kinds and we even started a healthcare program a few years ago for our employees but my biggest project right now is to actually make that sort of healthcare public because it's very affordable and our employees have been a big fan of it. But it’s hard because of different countries' laws so I have to go make a lot of appeals with certain Kings and Queens.”

He leaned forward, genuinely interested.

“How do you keep it affordable? Is there a way you could implement that kind of healthcare here in the forsaken realm?”

“Well, we have an exploration department that has multiple guilds across the world in countries where dungeon-diving by private citizens is allowed and taxes are relatively forgiving. This is where we sometimes get most of our revenue. But of course, we also have investors—Arthur is one—and so we try to provide the best services to both our employees and clients.” She touched her chin thoughtfully. “Well, we could institute our kind of hospitals but Clover Kingdom isn’t lacking in healing mages. We mainly use medical practices and technology because the areas we are targeting are places with weak or no magic and have no way to afford or access.”

“So, perhaps we should rearrange the concentration of healing mages in the common and noble realm then.”

“Yeah, well, healing mages are quite rare even in a magic-rich country like Clover Kingdom. It’s also a big problem that everyone here are magic dependent. This kingdom is quite behind on technology, innovation, medical practices and knowledge compared to the rest of the world. And to top it all off, Clover Kingdom maintains no foreign relations outside of the continent so there is no flow of information in. We would have to educate a lot of people in potion-making and using magical items and mundane tools to heal or treat ailments but like I said, Clover Kingdom is behind on education,” Aika ranted as she frowned. She caught the intrigued look on Julius’s face and pressed a gloved hand to her forehead as she apologized.

“Sorry, I meant no offense—”

“No, no, I’m not offended at all,” He said, waving her off. “I’ve simply never considered that point of view.” He gave her a wry smile. “And what you do seems really cool. Though, it sounds like a lot of work.”

She smiled faintly as she set her cup down and leaned her head back against the sofa. She needed to calm down and stop.

“It is, but I have a lot of time on my hands.”

Julius snorted.

“I’m sure you do,” he retorted softly as mirrored her and rested his head right next to hers.

“It’s fulfilling work too,” she said lowly. He hummed in response.

“Master Raymond told me you used to use this study as your office space but now you’re leaving,” he remarked as he looked around.

“Uncle Ray isn’t the studious type but I could tell you are. You would certainly want to use this space.”

“I would,” he admitted, turning his head to face her. “but you don’t have to leave.”

Aika peered at him from the corner of her eye.

“We could both use this space, Aika.”

“Julius…”

“You have really good advice and a different perspective that could be helpful in the future. I’d like to keep you close.”

“You already have an actual advisor. I’m just a consultant.” 

“Marx? He sees my vision, he understands it but he is a conformist, you are not.”

“Julius,” she began as she sat up. “I’m really flattered but I cannot move as freely around the castle anymore. No one here knows I exist.” And if he insisted on spending some time around her everyday, it could be disastrous.

“What do you mean?”

“My Amulet of Ignorance broke during battle and I like to be private. No one in this castle knows me and even if they did, they forgot.”

“You had an Amulet of Ignorance? Those are pretty rare!” Julius exclaimed, his eyes blown wide. She paused when she caught his gaze. Even though violet was a common color for eyes, she realized that his were the most beautiful ones she had ever seen. She realized she wanted a repeat of earlier today when he leaned into her touch and his lashes fanned his cheeks as he sighed with a serene smile.

“I know, and really expensive too.” Aika stood up abruptly and walked to the long desk facing the windows. She caught the purple light of the Wisteria trees sifting through the window panes and focused on clearing her mind. The more she looked at him, listened to him, the more painful it was. Because she wanted to be near him more than anything, but she couldn’t.

She needed to get out.

“It’s the terrifying ordeal of being known.” He laid an arm on her shoulder and she stiffened instinctively. His touch both burned and soothed her. “I completely understand, but don’t you think it’s time to step into the light and get credit for what you do? Like that spell you did on the battlefield?”

“No,” Aika asserted cooly as she shrugged his hand off. “I’m not looking for credit or glory.” 

Once upon a time, she sought glory, but it only left her shoulders heavy with medals and her chest hollow. She was tempted to let the scars stay too as a reminder that glory is empty but she decided to be kinder on herself so she could move on.

If someone gave her credit, great. If not, that’s also fine.

“But don’t you get tired of hiding?”

Yes, but if she had to deal with people more, that would be dangerous for everyone. It was better to be ignored and forgotten than to turn people into hateful creatures.

“What do you mean ‘turn people into hateful creatures?’” Julius asked curiously, he voice steeped in concern.

Aika whipped around. Did she seriously say that out loud? No. He was using Truth Magic. How dare he?

“You should know better than to use Truth Magic when you are trying to have a genuine conversation, Julius .” She stated deliberately, her mana rising around her.

“It’s hard to have a genuine conversation when the other person insists on hiding,” he retorted swiftly as his face turned to ice, masking his surprise at how she had caught on.

She snapped.

“It’s because I don’t want to publicize the fact that I exude so much negative mana that it turns people evil, okay?!” 

She pushed past him.

“Please.” Julius caught her by her forearms and swiveled her around to face him. The words caught in his throat at the sheer vulnerability on her face. “Please, I don’t want to ruin you,” she breathed, her voice cracking. Aika clenched her jaw as she held her tears at bay. “You are so good,” she lifted her gaze to meet his’. “So pure.”

Her words sent shivers up his spine as he carefully regarded her. Did she somehow know? No, that can't be, or she would have never insisted on maintaining distance.  Weg magic doesn’t affect him. That was the plain and simple truth. It was why he was so curious about it in the first place. He knew why it doesn’t affect him, but the world didn’t need to know.

Julius watched the way her lower lip trembled, eyes glassy with unshed tears and yearning as plain as day.

He needed to reassure her while keeping his secret.

“You think so little of me that I would be affected by it?” He murmured with a light tone.

“You think so little of my knowledge of my own condition that I wouldn’t know who it affects and who it doesn’t?” Aika snapped weakly. “Strength does not matter. It only doesn’t affect other forbidden magic users and certain species of non-humans.”

Non-humans. The words kept ringing in his head. 

Non-human. Non-human. Not-human.

“Your mother died so your half-breed arse could live!” His drunken father screamed as a glass shattered next to his head, shards pricking his scalp and cheek. 

“Don’t ever dare insinuate that your mother never loved you,” his voice came in a dangerous whisper. “You disgusting little N—”

 “Julius?”

He blinked quickly as he sought his bearings. His hands were clenching on her arms so tightly, he was sure Aika was in pain. He could feel sweat rolling down his cheeks. Or was it tears?

“Sorry,” he murmured as he blinked again, this time clearing his head.

No, he was human. And he was going to save all the humans in Clover Kingdom and bring them peace.

He rubbed her arms lightly as he healed her and slid his hands up to her shoulders.

“It won’t affect me,” Julius said plainly as his lips quirked up into a hesitant smile.

She looked at him dubiously. She just said that only— Oh. Is that how it is?  

“Why?” she asked as she sniffled, not expecting the truth.

“It’s simply the nature of my magic,” he answered vaguely. 

That could mean either thing but he could simply be saying that just because. Why does he keep on insisting? She was really not playing hard to get.

“Julius, that isn’t going to convince me. It has real effects. Why are you trying so hard when I am pushing you away?”

His eyes softened as he smiled in amusement.

“Is it so hard to believe that I might like you?”

“Yes?” She asked as if it was obvious. “I was literally rude to you on so many occasions.”

“I’m used to prickly characters.” He rebuffed with a wink.

Her shoulders relaxed slightly as she let out an embarrassing snort. She hung her head to hide the growing smile on her face.

“That doesn’t mean you should tolerate it,” Aika murmured half-heartedly. 

Julius laughed.

“Maybe not,” he murmured as he pulled her into a hug. Her face pressed up against the fur of his cape, tickling her nose as her hands hovered hesitantly around his waist. 

“But I’m very patient.”

After a moment of deliberation, she wrapped her arms around him and nestled into his chest. She will allow herself this one moment. 

Julius made a noise of contentment at the back of his throat as he pressed his cheek to her hair.

“Does this mean you’ll give me a chance?” he asked hopefully.

Aika pulled back and looked up at him with a deadpan look.

“No, there is still a lot you don’t know about me.”

“But, I want to learn—”

She shook her head and looked away.

“You don’t understand. The reason why I’m not convinced is because—” Should she even tell him? It might be a little too much. It was the reason why she was so scared and cautious about the effects her magic has on people.

“Because what?”

Ah, screw it.

“Because after Holly spent a week with me, she clawed Arthur’s face off and tore off my right arm,” she whispered under her breath.

“What? ” So that was the reason why she was so apprehensive. That...was actually understandable.

“She got irritable after 3 days and her behaviour kept escalating until she was outright hostile...She doesn’t remember of course. We had her memory erased after we restrained her,” Aika explained as stepped away from him, exhaustion sufusing through her. But Julius stopped her and took her gloved hands in his.

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” he spoke softly as he squeezed her hand. What happened to her was horrible. “You don’t have to keep away from people, least of all me.” He straightened his shoulders, his eyes determined. “I am telling you with utmost confidence that it won’t affect me.”

One part of her was tempted to refuse anyway but his insistence made her curious. Is it bullheaded confidence or was he truly something else like Arthur pointed out or was his interest in weg magic not so innocent after all?

As she weighed the pros and cons, the more curious she got. Aika really wanted to know what the deal with Julius was, and if worst comes to worst, well, Karl Francois was an expert memory mage. She could erase her existence and it will be like this all never happened.

“Fine.”

Julius lit up at her response.

“I will give you one month time to prove that it truly won’t affect you.”

One month was a reasonable enough time for them to notice any effects. He most likely won’t spend all his time with her like Holly did and he will probably use mana skin to protect himself. And only then will she think about it.

“Thank you!” He exclaimed before he engulfed her into another hug. She could feel the relief coursing through him as he smiled into the crook of her neck. She shivered at the feel of his lips and nose and the way his lashes fluttered against her pulse.

Julius gently cradled her face as he pulled back and Aika melted in his hold despite herself. She could allow herself to be if he truly didn’t turn on her. He brushed her cheek with his thumb, making her look up at him. His eyes were like the darkest part of the sunset where the stars shone and the birds flew. She wanted him to keep looking at her like that. 

He angled his face as he slowly closed his eyes and Aika was mesmerized yet conflicted.

She wouldn’t be able to stop if his lips touched hers.

“Julius, stop,” she wanted to say but the words were stuck in her throat. She could feel herself giving into the feeling, the falling sensation as it swept through her. His touch burned with something she couldn’t describe but it set her free. Clarity flooded her senses, washing away her fatigue. Perhaps it was time to seek the light again.

Aika, no, stop, wait, wait, wait.

“Miss Aika!” Jayce crowed as the double doors from the main hallway to the study flew open. “We found a five-leaf grim—” Ellie, Evan and Jayce took three steps into the room before they halted to a stop at the scene in front of them.

The Wizard King and their boss, pressed up against each other, hair's-breadth away from a kiss.

Jayce slapped a hand over his mouth.

Ellie grabbed onto his and Evan’s collar as they scrambled backwards. She quickly shut the door as she threw an apologetic look at Aika’s burning face who disentangled herself from the king’s arms.

The room echoed with a bang and silence followed. 

Julius burst out laughing as he rubbed the back of his head.

“That was embarrassing!”

“Very,” Aika groaned into her hands. He took her hands once again and pulled her close. “You should go finish your paperwork. I have to talk to them about their mission,” she sighed as Julius placed kisses on her knuckles. She withdrew her hands as she took a step back, her heart twinging at the hurt glimmering in his eyes once again.

“I’d like for us to be friends in the meantime.”

“Do you truly like me?” Julius asked suddenly. Aika was taken aback by that.

“What do you mean? Of course I do.”

“Because, like you said, are you keeping your distance because you are trying to let me down slowly?”

Anger shot up her spine. In a second, she was a hair’s-breadth away once again, face cocked to the side. Julius parted his lips, half-surprised, half-expectant but she only stayed agonizingly close.

“Are you insinuating that I am lying to you about my reasons?” Her voice came lowly.

“No, but—”

“Good, so as long as we can conclusively say that I can’t affect you, I will keep my distance.” He blushed at her heated look. “Because even I cannot resist temptation itself.”

Julius took a stuttered breath as he stepped back this time. Oh, god.

“Understood.” He cleared his throat as Aika suppressed a smile. “I will, ah,” he motioned vaguely at the door behind him. “Go do my paperwork.”

As if.

He walked away to the door and looked back one last time. She had her arms crossed as she worried her lower lip.

“Goodnight.” She waved with a reassuring smile. He echoed her as the corner of his lip quirked up. 

He could be patient.

The door clicked shut and the world grew quiet in Aika's head for one still moment...Before adrenaline rushed through her veins, buckling her knees and knocking the air out of her.

Holy shit.

That interaction had taken more out of her than anything. It’s been years since she had any complex, romantic interactions and god, the yearning was exhausting.

Aika stumbled over to the cold tea on the low table in front of the sofas and picked up the cup as she took deep, slow breaths. She waved her hand over it and rewound time to make it warmer. She took a big sip as her heart finally began to calm down. She silently padded over to the main doors and swiftly pired one open. 

Surprisingly enough, the three were not listening in. They were instead gathered in a small circle, talking in low voices.

“This bird had some nerve yanking my hair,” Ellie growled.

“What’s going on?”

Evan and Jayce moved out of the way when they heard Aika, revealing a little anti-bird with an impossibly bored expression resting on Ellie’s cupped hand. She raised a brow at that. The three of them are fairly powerful mages, with Ellie and Jayce being stage 2 while Evan was an arcane stage. So, why was an anti-bird so comfortable in their presence?

“This anti-bird kept following us from Hage, miss,” Jayce groused as he poked it on its head. She walked closer so she could inspect it. She reached out a hand but it evaded her as it flew up and perched on Evan’s head.

“You are weakened but you still have more mana than us?” Ellie asked incredulously.

Aika shook her head and waved them in. She settled back down on the couch as she crossed her legs imperiously. She watched in mild amusement while they carefully inspected the room like the Wizard King was going to pop out from somewhere. She stared down Jayce as he held back a blush, no doubt about the scene earlier, but he shook his head, reassuring her that he wouldn’t say anything. But, she knew that they would thoroughly interrogate her after they were done.

They soon lined up in front of her, backs straight and eyes sharp as they pressed a hand over their hearts and bowed low in a salute as protocol required before they could report to her. While she understood the need for ceremony, they were personally close to her so she had asked them to skip it in the past, but they insisted anyway, saying that it made them feel more like grown-ups.

Ellie was the first to speak up.

“We spent some time inspecting the abandoned cottage like you asked us to.”

“And we have some good news, strange news, and stranger news,” Jayce continued after her.

Aika threw back the last sip of tea and stared at the tea leaves at the bottom of the cup as she half-heartedly attempted to divine from them.

“What is the good news?”

“The good news is that Master Raymond and Lady Lydia had successfully moved into your home without any issues, though they did talk of maybe doing renovations.”

“Good.” She set her cup down with a ‘clink.’ “The strange news?” She breathed out as she reclined, resting her temple against the palm of her hand while she leaned on her elbow.

“Master Raymond wanted us to give you a letter from one Arian Silva, which is supposedly an invitation to tea tomorrow if your schedule allows it.”

Jayce handed her a wax-sealed letter. She noted that the seal was red, meaning that it was a formal letter, which was just the usual.

Aika flicked the seal open and skimmed the letter. It was indeed an invitation to tea and he simply wanted to speak to her about that day on the battlefield. 

Yes, quite simple. She thought as a headache began to grow.

“And the stranger news?” She asked, her eyes still wearily glued to the paper in her hand. She looked up curiously when no one said anything.

The anti-bird on Evan’s head seemed to glare daggers at her as he sifted through his cloak. He whipped out a small potato sack and emptied out its contents onto the table between them.

It was a musty, decrepit-looking grimoire, dark in color with no discernable symbol on the cover. She picked it up and immediately felt something off about it.

“We investigated the abandoned cottage and we believe it may be at most 5 years since anyone had occupied it and you were right, there were traces of a lot of forbidden magic,” Evan confirmed.

Aika wiped the cover where she knew a symbol would be and her jaw nearly dropped at the abnormal clover formation.

“We believe we found a five-leafed grimoire.”

Notes:  

- Yes, I think I'm funny naming Marx's older brother "Karl" LMAOOOO His name was actually supposed to be "Anwir" so make what you will of it👀 - That lil tidbit of Aika being blind for a year and being sensitive to light is important to remember👀

- That is sweat rolling down his cheeks lmaooo I’m not going to make him cry(yet) - Homegirl manifested a whole intervention LMAOOOOO - Nero doesn't avoid Aika bc she has any mana, no, she's avoiding Aika bc she can feel the forbidden magic coming off of her and knows that Aika will find out Nero is human the moment she touches her.

[adashelbysgirlfriend]

Polly’s Daughter - Headcannon

request ; Hey! Would you consider making headcanons for being Polly's lost daughter and how she would react to the daughter just appearing one day telling her that they just told Polly that she's dead to keep her away? And how Polly would react and treat her afterwards + how the rest of the family would? 💜

i think this is a genius idea tbh; mainly because i refuse to believe in a world where Anna Gray isn't alive. I just need Polly to be happy? i don't think thats asking too much. So yer, thank you for this - you've fuelled my domestic fantasy where Polly has a full family and is never sad again. This one also hits hard for me because my mum was adopted as a baby, and I've always grown up wondering who my biological grandma is - so however you are and wherever you are granny i hope youre rocking on and having a good old time!

i kinda wrote this from like the readers point of view? i don't know why i just liked the flow better that way. Anyway, i hope you like it! and NEVER hesitate to send in a Polly related request because i ADORE the woman. Iconic. 

i feel like she’d grow up dreaming of a your mum coming to find you 

because you were a few years older than 

but with every birthday and Christmas without so much as a card, it would kinda harden you into hating Polly for leaving you like that 

being moved to Australia and completely giving up on her ever trying to find you 

trying really hard to not repeat your mothers mistakes

being as responsible as possible

finally ending up with a family that keeps you around long enough for you to build up some sort of trust system and being a second mum to their other kids

you'd found out your mother was looking for you and freaked the fuck out

shock turned into anger

the woman who left you, didn't love you like any decent mother would, now wanted to meet you on her terms

absolutely not 

no way

especially when you heard that the Tommy Shelby of Small Heath was the one putting feelers out for you 

but being brought up in the care system (or lack there of it) had made your mind somewhat deviant and street smart 

you also knew quite a few undesirable members of society, some of which had a level of power

it wasn't hard for them to formulate a fake paper trail 

and just like that, Anna Gray was officially dead

you stayed in Australia but never felt settled again after that 

as you got older, became an adult, the earlier anger turned into hurt

why had she left you?

why did she want you back?

i feel like these emotions would brew for a while but it would take a personal event to make you finally snap and want to go find Polly

you’ve always been careful with sleeping with men and not becoming a mum yourself so young but like you end up a month late for your period and are convinced   you’re pregnant

queue storm of Angst 

never feeling so close to understanding your mums decision as this

you go to the doctors and you aren't, but it sticks with you

or maybe its just when you have to leave your new family and move out alone, you realise how hard it is to be by yourself in the big city and also how much you need family

you go to Birmingham a month later

youre SHIT scared

and not just because youre well aware of the status your mothers family has

massive fear of rejection 

youre well aware of the time thats passed in-between her looking for you and you actually showing up

 what if she doesn't want to see you anymore?

what if she does but youre just not what she expected and she doesn't want to know you?

standing on her doorstep for like a good half hour before knocking

which alerts the boys that something fishy is going on 

her coming to the door and you just standing there like a lemon with no clue what to say even though you've been literally planning this moment for as long as you can remember 

finally getting the words out and making Polly the speechless one

she definitely doesn't fully believe you 

she wants too, with her whole heart, but she doesn't think its possible for you to be alive so she thinks its some sick joke by one of their enemies 

she definitely slaps you

you slap her back obviously 

she's crying and shouting and you’re crying and shouting

everyones confused

Tommy and John coming out to break up whatever going on

“who Tommy?! who would send some whore and have them to pretend to be my Anna?”

“Oh IM the whore? who left who? i can't believe i even bothered coming all this way, all you've ever been is a disappointment, i wish i was dead so i never had to meet you “

Tommy and John feeling like they are watching Polly fight with Polly 

“Pol, its her” 

“How! How can i be her Tom?!”

“Just look at her Pol” 

“Holy shit Pol, its definitely her” - John ever so eloquently adding in his two cent 

ending up inside with Polly

the lads being nervous to leave you two together just incase you fight again but her sending them away

as soon as you start talking instead of shouting, she can take a proper look at you 

and bOY do you look like her

it makes her feel warm and violently sick all in one

she probably actually has to excuse herself to vomit

she just needs to hold you 

its a bit uncomfortable and awkward at first but then it all hits you at once and you can't stop yourself from sobbing 

she's sobbing too 

fuck me man everyones sobbing tbh

just sitting like that for hours, until you have no more tears to cry

“well lass, you’re far too skinny” 

feeding you 

drawing you a bath

putting the fire on for you 

making sure she sets up a bed for you so you’re comfortable and i don't mean calling the maid in to do it, she wants to do it by hand so she knows its perfect

it taking a long time for you to trust her fully 

but Polly literally doing everything she can to show you she will always regret losing you that day

finding out it wasn't her fault

“I didn't want to lose you, you or Michael, they took you away but i never ever stopped loving you. I thought about you every morning when i woke up and every night before i went to sleep, even after i thought you were gone’

meeting the boys properly 

Tommy is cautious of you at first, not wanting to see Polly hurt but he grows to trust you and love you in his own nonchalant  way 

John and you being a comedy double act, you get his respect from day one for straight up fighting Polly fucking Gray in the street, and everyone else enjoys seeing him be torn apart by your humour 

Arthur sees you as his little sister, would protect you with him whole life

Michael doesn't really remember you that well, but you grow to become siblings again

Ada has you over for sleepovers at least once a week, and youre even trusted to look after little Karl for her, she loves you and is the big sister you never thought you needed, but she also respects you for what you've been through and is always checking in and making sure youre okay and reminding you that youre part of a family now

Finn is probably the first ti accept you because its Finn guys, what an angel we STAN 

it definitely takes a while, but youre glad of the day you stepped foot on Polly doorstep

and none of them can imagine life without you now.

[shozaii]

how bout 4. i come alive when i’m close to the madness. & edgar allan poe ? hehe lysm ⭐️⭐️⭐️

(a/n)taraaaa!! thank you for sending your request in🥺 poe is also another one of my favorites to write for(honestly i love writing for all of them but he’s just so baby to me sksks🥺); so i do hope this interesting combination would be a fun read!!😼💖

♬♩♪♩　　♩♪♩♬ ♬♩♪♩　　♩♪♩♬

(warnings: slight, slight nsfw!!)

4.i come alive when i’m close to the madness.

the last few words gave him so, so many memories for one to keep.

if he were to admit it, the fact that he finished writing the book gave him a slight emptiness in his chest, worrying that he might forget where he left it, when he ever does start a new one. that of course, was true - he should most definitely find a thicker book to write in, but of course; what about the old one? what if it goes missing between the world of books he had in his shelves? what if he placed it somewhere too far away from his or your reach? 

most importantly, what if you wanted to go through it in the future? he wouldn’t want his lover trying to wreck their brains, trying to find something they both kept close in their hands.

thinking once, and twice, poe sighed in defeat, opening up the book once more for a final read before having the absolute confidence to hand it over to you. 

the book itself had the most flavorful moments one could ever think of. from the sweetness, slowly turning to some bitter lines in between. there sure was a lot of moments he was so glad he wrote down, because if he were to ever describe it in real life - which, of course, he’s trying his best to improve everyday for you - he might explode from the constant redness in his face.

you were like this obsession running through his veins. he could write tons and and tons of ‘masterpieces’ (that’s what you called them) about you, and he would still think it’s not enough.

it’s still missing something. a phrase that has been gone for so long, but he still didn’t know what to write.

he scratched his head in frustration, leaning back against his chair. karl watched him, while he was happily perching on top of his head. 

“a word, a phrase....argh, something to end this whole story with! come on, poe; don’t let your brain fail you-,”

what was he thinking of earlier? was it obsession? 

“yes, yes. that’s what i was thinking about. and what would i get from that....?”

obsession. passion flowing through him like a never-ending stream of burning love for you. the way you make him feel like everything was just a dream, but it was oh so real. you were the passion itself; if one were to ever ask for the meaning of it.

your skin drove him crazy. occasionally he would trace his fingers along it, and you barely flinched. tough. 

never did he know he was missing an element in a form that way, but there it was. boy did he not regret it. neither would he forget the kisses. let it be anywhere; the cheeks, trailing all the way to his jawline, the way your delicate but slightly calloused fingers ran through his hair. and the fact that he didn’t have to fall to his knees, begging you for more. you knew, you understood, you awarded. 

how it felt like two puzzle pieces fitting together. so many times he had to solve by hand; and this felt like he had won the lottery or something, just be getting them. he definitely wanted more than that; but you had your amusing wiles. everything about you, really. your eyes. your lips. 

ah, those lips. a whole obsession - if he ever learnt how to draw, he would go all out and make that as a book cover. and no; it wasn’t a joke. it danced while you talked, it shone when you smiled. 

the way you called his name. what? how could one be so goddamn attractive with just their tone of voice? shoot, he was literally drooling at the sight of that.

he felt karl’s tail giving him a little slap across the cheek, because he then came back to reality, realizing he had to fill up the empty ending before he went nuts about it for the next whole week or so.

crazy, obsession, pleasure, a concoction of perfection. what would one call this?

madness.

“madness!! OH MY GOSH, KARL, MADNESS!!”

of course, karl looked at him and made sure he hadn’t hit poe too hard until it drove his anger up the wall. instead, he climbed down from his head, now staring at the book. looking back up at his master, his eyes already questioned him, “whatever do you mean?”

as if poe heard him, he grabbed his favorite pen, writing the last few words on the book, to which he then stood up, clutching the book against his chest, proceeding to run straight towards his study’s door.

“madness; y/n. a dynamic too easy to explain in my writing, but never verbally. 

i come alive when i’m close to the madness.

happy birthday, my pumpkin pie.”

♬♩♪♩　　♩♪♩♬ ♬♩♪♩　　♩♪♩♬

(a/n): okAY SECOND SLIGHT NSFW??? meh a liTTLE.... I HOPE THIS WAS GOOD TARA🥺 i triED to make this like he comes alive to y/n’s love. hmMMM all i’m hoping for right now is you enjoying this ehehehehe👉👈

lyric prompt galore!✨

[theliberaltony]

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Do the autopsies of George Floyd agree, or not? News reports from last week suggest the report produced by the Hennepin County medical examiner and the one produced by an examiner hired by Floyd’s family disagreed on his cause of death. The county ruled the cause to be “cardiopulmonary arrest complicating law enforcement subdual, restraint, and neck compression.” It also cited heart disease and drug use as factors that could have contributed to the death. The secondary autopsy, by contrast, specifically said Floyd died from asphyxia.

So who is right? Well, both of them, experts who weren’t affiliated with the case said. In fact, according to forensic pathologists and medical experts, the two autopsy reports aren’t actually all that different in their conclusions. “They are just different ways of describing the same thing,” said Dr. Joye Carter, forensic pathologist to the sheriff of San Luis Obispo County, California. What’s more, experts told me, the autopsies of George Floyd help show the complexity of medical examinations, how those examinations work and what they can and cannot tell us.

Some of the public confusion over Floyd’s autopsy reports can be blamed on misinterpretation by the media and the public, said Dr. Judy Melinek, a San Francisco-based forensic pathologist . “Anybody suggesting asphyxia was ruled out by the medical examiner is wrong,” she said. Indeed, lots of people suggested just that, with media describing the reports as “drastically different” and nearly describing the county report as absolving the white police officer who pressed his knee into Floyd’s back for 8 minutes.

The Hennepin County autopsy may have mentioned factors beyond police conduct, but it was really just saying Floyd’s heart stopped while police were restraining him and pressing on his neck, said Melinek, Carter and Dr. Michael Freeman, professor of forensic medicine and epidemiology at Maastricht University in the Netherlands. It’s not a claim that he died of a heart attack, drugs, or pre-existing conditions, they told me. “The cause of death is police restraint,” Melinek said, just like in the autopsy Floyd’s family commissioned.

The reason it might seem like the exams disagree, they said, is because people expect a single cause of death in an autopsy report. But most people don’t die from just one thing. Instead, both death certificates and autopsy evaluations are set up to tell as detailed a story as possible — death happened, as a result of something, complicated by another thing, and maybe with other factors that were present. You’re supposed to compile the full chain of events and all the possible compounding factors. But documenting potential contributing factors isn’t the same as saying that’s what caused the death.

These reports — and the public confusion around them — also highlight how complex forensic pathology can really be. Take the confusion over asphyxiation. As he was dying, Floyd told the police officers that he couldn’t breathe, eventually stopped speaking and then went limp. So it surprised a lot of people when the autopsy reports came across as saying that they’d found no evidence of asphyxiation.

That is both a misunderstanding of the report and an example of the difficulty in identifying cause of death, experts said. It’s a misunderstanding because an earlier legal document, put out to explain the charges against the officer who kneeled on Floyd, said the county had found no injuries consistent with asphyxia caused by physical trauma. But the actual autopsy report doesn’t mention the word “asphyxia” at all. It does, however, describe “neck compression” as a direct cause of Floyd’s death — meaning the blood flow (and, thus, oxygen) to Floyd’s brain and heart were cut off. It doesn’t take physical trauma to asphyxiate someone.

And that’s where the difficulty of pinning down cause of death comes in, said Dr. Karl Williams, a forensic pathologist who is the chief medical examiner of Allegheny County (home to Pittsburgh), Pennsylvania. “After that video we know why he died,” Williams said. “But it doesn’t necessarily mean, OK, that there’s going to be any evidence of that.” You can make someone lose consciousness just by compressing the arteries and veins in their neck, cutting off blood flow to and from the brain, he told me. Williams said he has watched experts demonstrate this effect at conferences. People will lose consciousness after 7-to-10 seconds, he said. “It’s very reproducible. We vary on where the point of no return would be, but if you block those veins for three to four minutes, you’re dead.”

But there’s no medical literature of what happens to a person’s body when someone kneels on their neck for more than eight minutes, as Derek Chauvin, the Minneapolis police officer now charged with second-degree murder, did to Floyd. So no medical examiner can call up that data and compare it to what they found in Floyd’s body, Williams told me. The result, he said, has been whole listserves full of medical examiners going over the evidence in the Floyd case and arguing back and forth for the past week about how they would write the report. “There certainly is individual variety,” Carter said. “Medicine is a practice and everything isn’t rubber stamped the same way.”

Everybody agrees Floyd’s death was a homicide, Williams told me. But when you get to the specific cause of death, and the order of priority of multiple causes, subjectivity comes into play. “If you were to present that video to 100 different board certified forensic pathologists, you’d get 20, 30, 40 different ways of turning that into the statement of death,” he said. “This happens with about 5-to-10 percent of the cases we do.”

Another good example of an issue where forensic pathologists don’t agree: the existence of a controversial diagnosis — “excited delirium” — which was discussed by the officers at the scene of Floyd’s death. (Neither of Floyd’s autopsies mentioned the condition and none of the experts I spoke to believe it applies to him.) The basic idea behind excited delirium is that someone who is high on stimulants, such as cocaine or methamphetamines, can get into a place where their mind is no longer functioning normally. “They become agitated and violent and hyperthermic, so their body temperature goes up and they undress and act inappropriately. They might break glass and be unaware of their environment. They’re hallucinating,” Melinek said. That situation can often lead to someone being restrained by multiple police officers while they fight back violently. Sometimes the person dies — and the death ends up attributed to excited delirium, rather than to the restraint.

Melinek, Carter and Williams all believe this is a real diagnosis that really does cause death in some situations — though Carter added that restraint can contribute to those deaths. But Freeman isn’t so sure excited delirium is a legitimate cause of death. The dead people diagnosed with it tend to be young, black males who died in police custody, he said. “There’s been cases where the [medical examiner] has done an exam, found 12 broken ribs, a history of extreme restraint and all sorts of things going on,” he said. “But they find a relatively small amount, a recreational level of methamphetamine in the blood and they say, ‘Oh it’s excited delirium.’ Which completely exculpates the law enforcement from causing the death, which they clearly did.” Freeman’s research team currently has a paper in the process of being published that reviews scientific studies comparing excited delirium with cases of agitated delirium syndrome — a medical diagnosis that gets applied more by doctors treating a person who lived, while excited delirium is primarily used by forensic pathologists examining a person who died.

While both syndromes present with roughly the same symptoms, Freeman’s team found that restraint was used in 90 percent of the cases that turned out to be fatal. Only 2 percent of fatal cases involved no restraints. (The rest were unknown.) Forceful restraints such as manhandling or hog-tying were also significantly more likely in fatal cases. The point, Freeman said, is that there’s evidence it’s not the excited delirium that kills people. It’s the way they are restrained.

All the experts I spoke to see no evidence of excited delirium in Floyd’s case. In the video of his death, Melinek pointed out, you can clearly see that he is not sweating excessively, nor is he dressed inappropriately. He communicates clearly with officers and bystanders and is coherent even as he is pleading for his life. But the fact that one of the officers at the scene suggested this diagnosis, and that legal scholars believe it will come up in Chauvin’s defense, demonstrates how medical analysis can be used in cases like this. And how disagreement among forensic pathologists about how to describe the evidence in a case can muddy the legal waters.

“There are very few checks and balances, and that’s really the issue here,” Freeman said. “There’s nobody to second guess your work [as a medical examiner]. If there is somebody doing something in a biased fashion — systematically always doing it wrong … it’s disadvantaged populations who are getting these diagnoses.”