#and i feel how much it hurts him and makes him feel like a failure. and like he failed as a protector
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For the event, could I request Leona, romantic, with "Waiting on the Sun" by Citizen Soldier? First time listening to this after discovering Twisted had me wailing in the car haha
i was crying at the club when i heard it... it suits leona so well oh my god
Waiting on the Sun || Leona Kingscholar
𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭��𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭
𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠: Waiting on the Sun by Citizen Soldier
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1010
𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬: Mild Hurt/Comfort, Realization of feelings
Leona has never been one for dreams.
Dreams are a fool’s game, a glimmer of hope strung out in front of desperate people, forcing them to chase something they’ll never catch. He learned early on that hope was nothing but a pretty lie wrapped in a silver ribbon, and in the end, the ribbon always frayed.
The world never made space for second sons, and the sun never rose for men like him.
He should have stopped waiting for it years ago.
But somehow, you're still here—sitting beside him in the shade of a tree, legs stretched out, your presence quiet yet steady. You don’t say anything, and he doesn’t need you to. That’s what he likes about you. You don’t fill the silence with empty words or meaningless comfort. You don’t try to fix him, like so many others before you.
You just exist beside him and that’s enough.
Leona doesn’t remember when you became his safe place.
At some point, your presence became a constant, as natural as the way he stretches out on the grass for an afternoon nap or the way the sun burns through the endless sky. You were just there—like an inevitable force of nature.
And damn if he doesn’t resent how much he needs it.
Because he does need it. He needs you in ways he’ll never admit aloud, in ways that make his stomach twist and his throat tighten. You make it so easy to believe, even when he’s spent a lifetime telling himself not to.
Somewhere along the way, you learned him too well. You can tell when his bitterness sharpens, when his patience wears thin, when he’s barely holding onto the threads of his temper. You don’t try to drag him into the light, but you don’t let him drown in the dark, either.
Instead, you just sit with him.
Like now.
Leona exhales, tipping his head back against the rough bark of the tree. The weight of the past few days lingers in his bones, making him feel heavier than usual. The exhaustion never fully leaves—it clings to him like a second skin.
“I know what you’re thinking.” Your voice is soft, cutting through the stillness.
Leona cracks an eye open. “Doubt it.”
You huff, barely phased by his dry remark. “You think nothing’s ever going to change. That you’re stuck in a cycle you can’t break. That waiting for things to get better is pointless.”
He stiffens, the words settling deep in his chest like stones. “You got all that just from lookin’ at me?”
“I got all that from knowing you.”
That shouldn’t make his heart stutter the way it does.
He doesn’t say anything, just turns his gaze back to the horizon. It stretches on endlessly, a vast expanse of golden plains and open sky. The view should be freeing. Instead, it feels like a cage with invisible walls.
A future that will never belong to him.
A throne that will never be his.
A world that will never see him as anything more than the spare.
The sun has never risen for men like him.
“I know what you’re going to say next,” he mutters. “That I should ‘keep trying.’ That things’ll ‘work out’ eventually. That if I just—”
“I’m not going to say that.”
He stops.
You tilt your head, a gentle smile pulling at your lips. “I’m not here to tell you to change. I’m not here to tell you things will magically get better. I just…” Your fingers brush over the back of his hand, tentative and warm. “I just want you to know that you don’t have to shoulder it alone.”
His breath catches.
No one has ever said that to him before.
No one has ever meant it before.
Leona has spent his whole life carrying the weight of his own bitterness, his own resentment, his own failures. No one ever told him he could set it down. No one ever offered to help him hold it.
No one but you.
His fingers twitch under yours.
Leona has never been one for dreams.
But when he looks at you, he wonders if maybe, he’s been waiting on the wrong thing all this time.
He doesn’t realize he’s in love with you until much later.
Maybe it’s the way you laugh, soft and easy, like the world has never once hurt you. Maybe it’s the way you look at him—like he’s not a disappointment, not a failure, not a second son who never mattered. Maybe it’s the way you never push him to be anything other than who he is.
Maybe it’s everything.
But when he finally does realize, it hits him like a landslide.
And suddenly, he’s terrified.
Because what if he loses this?
What if he loses you?
Leona doesn’t pray, but he does now.
He prays that you never leave. That you never wake up one day and decide that he’s too much trouble, that he’s too broken, that he’ll never be what you deserve.
He prays that this feeling—the quiet warmth that seeps into his bones whenever you’re around—never fades.
And yet, he still can’t bring himself to say it.
Not yet.
The words finally escape him on a night like this—under a sky filled with stars, your hand resting lightly in his, your head against his shoulder.
“Stay.” His voice is quiet, barely above a whisper.
You shift slightly, peering up at him with wide eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He exhales sharply, his grip tightening around yours. “No, I mean—” His throat works, the words catching like sandpaper. “Stay with me.”
Understanding dawns in your eyes, and for a moment, he thinks you might say no. That you might turn away.
But then you smile—soft, warm, home.
“Okay.”
Leona doesn’t believe in miracles.
But when you press your lips to his, slow and tender and real, he thinks that maybe the sun has been shining on him all along.
He just hadn’t noticed.
Masterlist ; Valentine's Event
#ˋ°•*⁀➷ valentine's event#twst#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland#leona kingscholar x reader#leona x reader#twst leona#leona kingscholar#leona
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I try to not be hater, but then I see the stupid takes and get madddddd
This is just what I feel every single time I see those shitty opinions
youtube
#WELL ACTUALLY YOU'RE WRONG BC IF OCHAKO SAID SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH DEKU WE NEED TO FOCUS ON THAT WHICH MEANS SHE'LL CONFESS TO HIM#THIS IS FORESHADOWING FOR THEIR RELATIONSHIP U R JUST GASLIGHTING YOURSELF BC HER ARC WAS PARTIALLY ABOUT LEARNING TO LET HERSELF LOVE HIM#tf you mean ppl are still making this fight about deku???#“she said she fell in love with him we win!” tf? it wasn't a reveal#much like the story with her parents we already knew that- this was about opening up to himiko so she could understand her better#and the way it was portrayed confirms this; we pointed out in the manga ochako's face being covered by her hair bc it means we shouldn't fo#focus on that rather than her next statement -she's there as herself not as a hero#this is her being selfish and open in order to reach out to himiko's sadness#and yet ppl are trying so hard to focus on the thing we weren't meant to focus on#and even taking away the deku memory they still made it about him#“ochako is jealous oh toga expressing her love which means she wants to confess to izuku too!!”#SHE LITERALLY SAID SHE ENVIES HOW HONEST SHE IS WITH HER FEELINGS AND SHOULDNT HIDE HER LOVE NOR FACE LIKE HER PARENTS TOLD HER#SHE SAYS SHE WANTED TO AT LEAST TELL HIMIKO HOW LOVELY HER SMILE IS#TO THE POINT OF WANTING TO BE LIKE HER IN THIS WAY#THIS ISNT HER BEING JEALOUS OF HER TELLING DEKU SHIT OR YEARNING TO CONFESS#THE EPILOGUE CONFIRMS THE FEELINGS SHE WAS HIDING WERE ABOUT GRIEF AND FAILURE AS A HERO#YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A TOGACHAKO IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND THIS#CANT WE FUCKING ENJOY F/F CANON CONTENT FOR ONCE WITHOUT SOMEONE SAYING#GRRRRGRGRGRGRGGRGRGRGR#WE FINISHED HER ARC AND IT WAS ABOUT HER LETTING HERSELF GET HELP WITHOUT FEELING LIKE SHE MUST BE LESS OF A HERO#ABOUT HER GRIEVING AND WANTING TO DO MORE TO HELP SOMEONE ABOUT HER NOT WANTING TO HURT OTHERS WITH HER FEELINGS#DONT YOU UNDERSTAND HEROISM IS THE LEAST ROMANTIC THING FOR A FUCKING HERO NERD#DONT YOU UNDERSTAND???? SHE DOESNT ACCEPT ANY OF HER FEELINGS LIKE HIMIKO DID#AND WHILE THEY TALK ABOUT THE BOYS THEY LIKED ITS NOT ABOUT THEM ITS ABOUT THE GIRLS FINDING SUPPORT IN EACH OTHER#PICTURE ONE OF THOSE FEMALE RAGE COMPILATION VIDEOS#I think they can easily get terfy and im not even a woman but the screaming is the vibe of this post#grrr being a hater#Youtube
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Do you ever just cry about Leonardo? Because I'm crying about Leonardo.
#i'm so sad for him and i love him but i'm so sad for him#ugh i hate crying before i go to bed but you literally just gotta cry about leo sometimes you just gotta#i feel like every time i read a fic where leo loses a brother or something of that angsty caliber--i put myself in his shell#lmao his shell bc he doesn't wear shoes hehe#and i feel how much it hurts him and makes him feel like a failure. and like he failed as a protector#and it makes me so sad for him 😭😭😭#and then like you know how sometimes the turtles chirp in fics?#it makes me so unbelievably sad when one of them chirps at an injured/dying brother#and the injured/dying brother doesn't chirp back bc they're too weak or almost dead 😭😭😭#that's completely off topic LOL but i just read it in a fic and i'm soooooo I'M SOOOOO sad#the distressed chirping noooo not the sad distressed chirping 😭😭😭#and it reminds me of a few weeks ago when i was on a walk and i found a dead baby turtle 😭😭😭#like a baby literally as small as a pretzel or something#and he was partially run over 😭😭😭 and it made me so sad 😭😭😭#he was just a lil bub 😭 too small for the car to possibly see 😭#goddd okay. i have gotta stop being emotional about turtles. even though i love them 😭 so much 😭
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ok reverse the TROPE !!!!!! sugar-mommy!f!reader x retired!simon <333 (18+)
he got discharged on a medical injury. his knee flares up now, phantom pains that shoot up his leg and pinch his spine. he feels like a failure--a lieutenant in his prime, and now he has to acclimate to civilian life and grit his teeth instead of drown the voices in his head out with gunfire.
he's been deployed as much as he could be just to stay away from this kind of place. so he didn't have to get on a train, or take the tube. so he didn't have to think about looking over his shoulder in the shops or learn how to pay a wifi bill. he hates going to the doctor's office, and he hates learning how to properly open his bank account, just to learn that there's nearly nothing in it.
the numbers just dwindle before his very eyes. the rent is too high, even in his shitty studio. when did cable cost that much? why can't he go to the pub for just a few pounds anymore? where is the compensation for giving more than a decade of his life in service of his country just to have to wait in fucking lines to get his medication and argue over the phone about where all his fucking money went.
maybe he never had any. maybe it's all lost somewhere. he'd ask his former captain, but he's halfway across the world, and over his dead body would he hold a hand out and ask for charity when he's 36 years old.
"don't get that one."
simon turns his head, a snarl caught in his throat. there's a pretty thing standing beside him, also staring at the array of ramen packages in focus. you take the orange package out of his hand and put it back on the shelf before reaching for a different package. it's got japanese characters on it, so he can't read the label, but you smile up at him.
"this one is way better. good price for it, too."
"'s more expensive."
"yeah, but you get eight packets in this one. that one only gives you five."
at the till, you notice him subtly counting the notes in his wallet. you pretend not to notice, rocking back and forth on your heels, but just as he picks up his bag to leave, you speak up.
"you wanna get a drink? on me."
and fuck, he could use a bourbon. on the first one, he thought your presence was pleasantly tolerable. by the fourth, he's staring down your shirt, dark eyes mapping out what the curves of your breasts might look like in the palm of his big hand. by the sixth, you're pressed up against a sticky bathroom wall and holding on for dear life as he pounds into you from behind, knickers in his back pocket, manicured nails digging slits into his tattooed forearm.
you sink those claws in that night; and you do not let go.
the third night you ask him out, he sees your flat for the first time. in a nice building downtown, doorman holding the door open for you. the elevator ride is long enough for him to see the tops of buildings, and when you step inside your flat, he swallows hard when he realizes you are way out of his league.
gorgeous leather seats and couch. large tv with surround sound. a french kitchen with a gas stove. your flat is filled with knickknacks and candles, low yellow lights and wonderful collections of art and little glass vases and sculptures. your home is filled with warmth, and you don't belong with him.
just as he thinks about backing out of the place, you turn and grip the lapels of his jacket, tugging him closer. you touch your nose to his over his mask, smiling, and you push the door closed behind him and press him up against it.
"so, which room do you wanna christen first? i thought we could start in the kitchen."
you're a woman that knows what she wants, he'll give you that; and he doesn't have it in him to say no.
the sun wakes him up in the morning. he doesn't remember falling asleep--he doesn't like to make staying over a habit. when he sits up on his elbows, he takes a deep breath, realizing his back hurts a lot less. the mattress of your bed is wonderful, much more supportive than the flat mess he has on the floor in his own place, and he blinks himself awake when you come out of the bathroom.
you're freshly dressed, makeup on, and you're putting on your jewelry when you see him. you smile at him, coming towards the bed, and you bend down to kiss where his mouth would be under the mask.
"good morning, simon. sleep well?"
"mmm..."
you take that as a yes, cupping his jaw, and you kiss him over his mask again before going to get some shoes from your closet. he doesn't comment on the fact that when you open it, he realizes the closet there is only for shoes...
"you hungry, baby? want some breakfast?"
"i--oh..." simon lays back down when his back tweaks, and you reach for him when you see him fall back in the mirror. you smooth a hand down the side of his body, frowning.
"why don't you stay in bed? i'll have my assistant bring you something."
"no, tha's--"
"i'm not asking, simon, i'm telling you," you coo. you pick up one of his hands and trace one of his scars with your finger. you have long, almond-shaped nails. there's pretty chrome nail art over the wine red color you wear, and he focuses on it as you kiss his knuckles gently. "will you wait for me to come home?"
"where y'goin'?"
"gotta work, honey," you wink down at him. "and i want you to be here when i get back."
"tha' so?"
"mhm," you smile. "right here. in my bed--" you lift the covers a little and peek, giggling as you put it back down after getting a glimpse at his cock resting against his lower stomach. "just like this, simon."
he doesn't remember if he ever goes back to his flat. he thinks he went one more time, to grab a few bottles of his medication, but the tick in his knee hadn't been so bad with the great physical therapy you started paying for and the warm massages you gave him every night.
and his back--your bed always contours perfectly against the muscles of his back, and he finds himself sleeping a full seven hours every single night.
not to mention his new work outs. simon hadn't been to the gym much since coming home, but he knows he must be burning hundreds of calories with you. you test his limits. as soon as you're home, you jump on him, and the stress relief your pussy brings him is just what he needs to get the edge off. you're a fiend, especially after a rough day, and the way you bounce on his cock in every room of your flat keeps him up at night sometimes with the most glorious wet dreams.
you're up late that night. you're curled up on the couch in one of simon's shirts and a glass of red wine, and there's a mountain of papers around you that you're focusing on reading. you have a huge presentation tomorrow, and everything needs to be perfect. simon comes into the living room, shirtless, and you smile when you see him standing there. he's wearing the new sweats you got him, but you can't focus on that too much when you're staring at his pudgy, toned stomach and his nice pecs. you bite your lip, taking a long sip of your wine, and simon hikes up his mask to take a bite out of his bowl of ice cream.
"gonna be up late tonight?" he asks, and you nod. "want me to sit with ya?" you nod again, lifting up your legs, and when he takes a seat next to you, you drape them across his lap. you lean over to give his scarred cheek a kiss, and when you turn back to your paperwork, a thought comes across your mind.
"we should get married," you say softly, circling a note over something. simon keeps eating, as if what you said doesn't phase him.
"why's tha', love?"
"tax benefits."
"mmm..." simon drops one of his hands and thumbs against your ankle. the flat is warm. his stomach is full. his body hurts less, and his heart aches with something nice. "olright then."
you smile.
"good. cause i already bought the ring."
NEXT
#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ghost x reader#cod#call of duty#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley smut#simon thoughts
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me… sad boy
#I was going to whine a lot but why lot word when few word do trick?#I have been… soooooo anxious and depressed and I feel like I’m going to die soon & the world is ending the world is empty & I’m alone in it#I feel so sick#I need to get out and do something. I always need to get out and I never do and I’m dumb#so maybe I’ll just get messed up and stay in my room#I can’t sleep. I wake up tired and hurting. I can’t do anything.#woe is fucking me amirite?#also I just finished Black Sails and I cried a lot. why did I think getting emotionally attached to a show and finishing it was smart?#that’s not important. I mean it is but not really. what’s important is I constantly feel like the end is always looming over me#I miss my therapist but I’m scared to ever see him again.#same reason I’m scared to be around anyone outside of my immediate family: I’m a failure & I can’t bear to see that reflected in their eyes#so he joins a long list of people I can’t talk to anyone along with my dad and countless old friends#hey wait why did I segue to this?#boo hoo#analytically. logically. I can look past this and see how irrational these thoughts are#but goddamn if there’s not something chemical that just makes me feel sick and scared and I’m having a doozy of a time living with it#because Ian you need to work on long term goals. not just quick fixes like I dunno fucking eating pizza or playing video games#sorry. just wanted to vent. it’s been building up in me for days and I needed a quick whine#I shaved. I’m gonna get a haircut maybe tomorrow. if only to stave off my unhealthy feelings of ‘just shave your head at 3am’#my mom is finally reaching the point where she doesn’t need me to chauffeur her around all the time#and my brothers are finishing their semesters at school and also both have licenses now#so I think I can stop using those as excuses and try to… I dunno. live for myself now. that sounds cheesy.#gonna go get a low paying job doing something mindless so I can have extra cash for being alive#god I need a hug so bad#that’s not even… like… not even a lighthearted joke. I think if someone sincerely held me for a few minutes it would fix me. a little bit.#this is too much information#sorry I love you goodbye forever#but hey… really… I love ya… I mean maybe. not really. kind of. I appreciate ya and I’m here for ya… in spirit. like a ghost. a cool ghost.#you can ignore this#text
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Curly Mouthwashing headcannons
Romantic
Pre-crash Curly:
He is just so sweet
Curly is a very nice guy, but with you it's just deadly how nice he is
He's not one for PDA. Captain and all, gotta keep a professional look, y'know?
But whenever you two are alone, I like to think he likes to have his arms loosely wrapped around your hips and his head resting on your stomach
His favorite places to rest his head are on your stomach and chest
Yes ladies, gentlemen, and lades, he doesn't mind those weird noises everyone's stomach makes. And he doesn't mind hearing your heartbeat hammer out of your chest
But I imagine that Curly has a big thing for smells
The captain woke up with a groan, sighing and taking his first conscious breath of the day. His senses are flooded with the smell of you all around him, making his brain numb as he smiled and leaned further into you to drown in the smell.
Smell like vanilla and this can will literally die
He seems like he loves smells like vanilla and lemon
But he loves the way you practically swallow him while with your eyes
The way you look at him with such love and adoration, and not just because he's the captain
It makes him swoon every time
Fantasizes about marrying you and starting a family, but wouldn't push for it first. He wants to wait for you to be ready
You're his sweetheart and he loves you so much
Post-crash curly:
He wishes you didn't have to see him like this.
He feels like the shell of who he once was
Not the strong captain you loved, but rather a failure who can't do anything to help anyone. Not even himself.
Whenever you come and spend time with him, his eye looks to you in yearning
He yearns to hold you like he once did. Yearns to talk to you like he once did
He wants nothing more than to call you beautiful and compliment the same outfit you wear every day
He wants to lay against your stomach or your chest
The only sense of familiarity in your dynamic is your scent flooding his senses and your eyes.
How can you still look at him that way??
How could you see a man and not a monster?
He was partially to blame for this, after all. He failed everyone and was paying the consequences.
But you looked at him with such love..
It killed him when he saw you at that table.
Platonic
Pre-crash Curly:
Kind smiles and fist bumps all day long
He offers help whenever he can, wanting to make sure you were comfortable. You were friends after all and his responsibility
You got a problem? Hes there to listen
He just.. can't do anything about it
He doesn't have much of a backbone, and you learn that quick.
You two grew close. Maybe even closer than him and Jimmy were
But after what happened with Anya..
You couldn't even look at him anymore due to his negligence
Looking at him made you sick. He was a good friend but a horrible captain
"look, I just- I don't know what you expect me to do about this." He says with a tired sigh, exhausted from the work of a captain and the never ending piling issues. He watched as your eyes narrowed in his direction as if he was as awful as Jimmy, but before he could speak, you walked off with a scoff.
Post-crash curly:
He feels humiliated, same as with romantic
But your eyes don't feel welcoming.
He feels nothing but pity but a sense of the feeling that he deserved this in your eyes
Every time you see him, you're quiet
He wishes he could talk to break the ice
He always was the ice breaker.. but not anymore. Not unless you counted the noises of choking and gargling on your own blood and vomit.
But he always felt a sense of emptiness when you finally left
He failed you. And he failed everybody else.
He just hoped you would forgive him
And that this wouldn't hurt
Thanks for reading!!
#i recently got into mouthwashing if it wasnt obvious#i have an oc for it and everything#hehe#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing curly x reader#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing#captain curly x reader#captain curly#captain curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing captain curly#curly x reader#curly mouthwashing#curly headcannons#mouthwashing headcanon#mouthwashing horror game
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in the stillness
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/548af639211afdebd9e0b3fd31d7d0a3/f812b5bfe0f56e42-b7/s540x810/7bc99a94de5e3a2b3f22a4fa6b9a88ae599e1059.jpg)
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synopsis: after an injury leaves you in the hospital, your husband stays by your side and watches over you, silent for a moment.
pairing: timeskip!bakugou katsuki x f!reader
⊹ ࣪ ˖ notes: him saying 'my wife' does things to me tbh
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/170800fae7c617f436cdf8f68b646f2b/f812b5bfe0f56e42-e6/s540x810/08cfd63d0ac8716e89fd97113e9a1804f3acf1d1.jpg)
the steady beeping of machines fills the quiet hospital room, but katsuki can’t hear anything except the pounding of his own heart.
his eyes stay locked on you, lying still in the bed, wrapped in bandages that make his gut twist every time he looks at them.
he’s sitting beside you, arms crossed tightly over his chest, jaw clenched like he’s fighting back the urge to scream.
there’s a storm brewing behind his red eyes, and you can feel it—see it in the way his shoulders are tense, in how his leg hasn’t stopped bouncing since he got here.
“you can go home, y’know,” you murmur with a weak smile. “you don’t have to stay.”
his eyes snap to yours, his scowl deepening. “absolutely not,” he growls. “I’m not goin’ anywhere. you think I’m leavin’ you like this?”
you chuckle softly, even though it hurts a little to laugh. “I’m fine, katsuki. it’s just a few bruises. you’ve seen worse.”
“doesn’t matter,” he snaps, but there’s a roughness in his voice, something he’s trying to bury beneath the anger. “it doesn’t mean I’m leavin’. I should've been there faster. you wouldn’t be in this damn bed if I had been.”
you frown at his words, knowing exactly where his mind is going. “katsuki, it wasn’t your fault. I’m a hero too, remember? I know the risks.”
he scoffs, looking away from you, his hands tightening into fists on his knees. “don’t give me that crap. I’m supposed to have your back, and I didn’t. I was too slow.”
his voice wavers for a split second, and you see the guilt eating him alive.
“hey,” you say softly, reaching out to grab his hand. he flinches at the contact, not because he doesn’t want it, but because it’s you—hurt, reaching out to comfort him when it should be the other way around.
“I’m fine, katsuki,” you repeat, squeezing his hand gently. “you got there. that’s what matters.”
his gaze locks onto yours, fierce and frustrated. “no, what matters is that you wouldn’t be here if I’d been quicker. I shoulda seen it comin’. should've—”
you shake your head, cutting him off. “stop. you’re beating yourself up over something you couldn’t control.”
“that’s bullshit,” he snaps, standing up abruptly, pacing in the small space between the bed and the wall. his hands run through his hair, tugging at the strands in frustration. “I wasn’t fast enough. you could’ve died, because of me being too slow.”
the words hang heavy in the air, and you can see how much they’re weighing on him, tearing at him. this is katsuki at his rawest—angry not because of anyone else, but at himself.
he’s always been his harshest critic, and now, seeing you hurt, he’s taking all that anger out on himself.
you sit up a little, despite the dull ache that runs through your body. “but I didn’t, katsuki. I’m right here. you saved me.”
he stops pacing, standing still, his back to you. his shoulders are tense, and you can hear him take a deep breath, trying to reign in the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside him.
when he finally turns around, his face is a mixture of anger and vulnerability—two emotions he’s never been good at handling.
“damn it,” he mutters, stalking back toward you. he sits on the edge of the bed this time, closer than before, and his hand finds yours again, this time holding on a little tighter.
“you don’t get it, y/n. I can’t—” his voice falters, and for a second, you see something crack in his usual tough demeanor.
“I can’t just sit here and act like it’s no big deal,” he says quietly. “seein’ you like that… I’m supposed to be stronger. supposed to be the one protectin’ you, and I couldn’t even do that right.”
your heart aches at how hard he’s being on himself, but you know this is how katsuki is. he carries the weight of responsibility like it’s his personal burden to bear, and any sign of failure hits him harder than it should.
you squeeze his hand, drawing his attention back to you. “you didn’t fail, katsuki. you got there. you stopped it before it got worse. that’s all I need.”
he doesn’t respond for a moment, just stares down at your intertwined hands, his thumb running over your knuckles absentmindedly. there’s a long silence before he speaks again, this time softer, more controlled.
“you’re my wife,” he mutters, almost like he’s reminding himself of it. “I’m supposed to keep you safe. you don’t get to get hurt like this.”
you smile, tugging lightly on his hand to bring him closer. “and I’m supposed to protect you too. we’re in this together, remember?”
he huffs, clearly still not happy with himself, but the tension in his shoulders eases just a little. “yeah, yeah,” he mutters, leaning back in his chair again.
but his hand never leaves yours, gripping it tightly like he’s afraid to let go.
“you’re not gettin’ rid of me,” he says after a long pause, his voice a little lighter now, though the worry is still there, lingering under the surface. “I’m stayin’ here until they force me out. and don’t even think about tryin’ to convince me otherwise.”
you laugh softly, the sound easing some of the heaviness in the room. “wouldn’t dream of it.”
for a moment, neither of you says anything, just sitting there in the quiet comfort of each other’s presence.
you can feel the intensity of his gaze, the way he’s still watching you like he’s waiting for something to go wrong, but you know he’ll calm down eventually.
he’s stubborn, protective, and always pushing himself harder than anyone else. but you wouldn’t have him any other way.
“rest, will ya?” he mutters after a while, his voice softer now. “I’ll be right here.”
you nod, letting your eyes close as you feel the exhaustion start to catch up to you. his hand is still holding yours, warm and solid, a constant reminder that he’s there, just like always.
you can barely catch him raising your hand to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to it.
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kofi — navigation — masterlist
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do not copy, translate, or plagarize
#bakugo x female reader#bakugo x reader#bakugo x y/n#bakugou x you#bnha x reader#bakugou x y/n#bakugou katsuki x you#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugo x you#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugou x fem!reader#katsuki bakugou x you#katsuki x y/n#katsuki x reader#katsuki x you#bnha x y/n#bnha x you#mha x y/n#mha x reader#mha x you
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I know where the hole is!..I think.
-Bros the type to let you take control during his first time
Cw: smut smut smut um smut (virgins, like both of y’all soo) fem dom, thats all. (ALL CHARACTERS ARE TIMESKIPPED VERSIONS 🙏🙏 so basically of age.)
* “A-are you sure about this, babe?..”
* He felt like his heart was sinking to the deepest depths of his stomach with each passing moment.
* Is this a heart attack? Is this how it feels? Is he having one right now??!
* He was panicking. How the hell did he get himself into this position??
* “I mean, I don’t want to force you to do anything you might not like..”
* Who was he kidding? He knew damn well you wanted this! But he’d just never...
* “..we could always just..reschedule?”
* Reschedule? Seriously?
* Who the hell says, 'reschedule’ in this type of situation???
* What had he gotten himself into...
* He could practically feel his brain going into overdrive, the stupid word ‘error’ repeating in his mind.
* Why was his heart trying to wrestle its way out of his body?? Did it want him to die?!
* Is this organ failure? He doesn’t want to die!!..
* And the drips—no gallons of cold sweat running down his face like a marathon...
* Is this normal?!? Sweating this much??
* Could you see this? Was his face clammy looking??
* God, he hoped you were blind to his nervousness...
* This was such a stupid idea.
* And all because of his big ass, egotistical, lying, good-for-nothing mouth.
* If only he’d just said the truth to you...
* The truth that he’d never done something like..this.
* Something so intimate..something so deep..something like having-
* “Are you nervous?..”
* His eyes immediately open wide.
* Why were his eyes even closed to begin with?!
* This was so embarrassing..he could feel the blush on his cheeks rise even more as he avoided eye contact with you.
* “M-me?! Noo…not I’m nervous! I-I mean-..nervous I’m not! Ha..so let’s just um..”
* He gulped loudly.
* Are gulps supposed to hurt your throat?
* He’d have to look that up later...
* ..but back to the problem at hand!
* You were getting suspicious, which wasn’t good!
* And his arms remained laying either side of your head—not because he was experienced and knew what he was doing. No.
* only because he needed something to stop himself from collapsing down onto you like a nervous wreck.
* He was shitting himself.
* How was he supposed to do something like this to someone as gorgeous as you?
* And to think you were willing on your back presenting yourself to him in just your underwear...
* The way your bra would cup the two fruitful breasts he had no shame burying his face in, hiding the sinful buds he’d never seen in his life—actually, there was the one time he caught you in the shower, so maybe this wasn’t going to be his first time seeing you so- fuck. He’s getting distracted...
* But then there were your undies that shielded away your most vulnerable parts..and to think, you were giving that to him?.. Him????
* He doesn’t even know what he’s doing, y’know?
* You should know by now that he’s all talk, no action! He can’t touch you!
* The thing is..he’s never actually had sex! Okay?! He admits it!
* It was a lie!
* But you were just talking about how you want your first time to be amazing. He just-…
* He just didn’t want to seem lame to you! I mean, look at you!
* You were so beautiful..and he was just..there?
* And to think you wanted him to- to-..put his D in your P?? He’d probably finish on the spot!
* Just imagine how embarrassing that’d be...
* “Baby..”
* His head perks up at the pet name, his eyes meeting yours.
* “You’ve..never done this before, have you.”
* Fuck.
* Well
* It was good while it lasted, boys.
* He tried his best.
* Now he can finally crawl into a hole and die.
* He can’t lie to you when you look like this! You're practically naked, for Christ's sake! And he was in his boxers and- shit.
* Had a raging hard boner...
* He didn’t know a thing when it came to making women feel good...
* He’d watched sex videos before. Yes, he wasn’t a prude, but still.
* Did he know where exactly the hole was?
* …
* No.
* So how was he supposed to-
* “Lay on your back.”
* “..What.”
* “I said lay on your back.”
* “But then how am I gonna..“
* “I’ll do it.”
* “..y-you’ll wha-“
* How did he get himself into this mess?
* How did the only piece of clothing covering his most precious area end up on the floor?
* How did he find himself covering his mouth with the back of his hand, trying to stop the sinful sounds from escaping his lips..
* How did your mouth feel so good?
* “Ah..f-fuck baby..slow down a little..”
* His chest only moved up and down frantically, his breathing becoming heavier as his hand found a place in your hair. He was falling apart and was so close already...
* The way your tongue would flick at his tip, teasing it as you looked at him for a reaction.
* The way you would suddenly take him whole, causing his back to arch slightly and his head to fall back into the pillow behind him, a stuttery whine leaving his mouth.
* And then there were your hands..the way they would wrap around his cock so nicely, quick strokes being made, and the occasional massage of his balls.
* Fuck it was 'so good..’ as he would say it.
* you sure you were a virgin?
* This doesn’t seem like virgin behaviour to him...
* He was so deep in thought, so dazed that the only thing he could think of was coming undone.
* He felt good..way too good, so good that-
* “Baby!- w-wait..mhf!..ah-..I’m gonna cum..”
* “Y-Your mouth-..fuck..so good..sogoodd..”
* Then you stopped.
* ..why did you stop?
* Did he do something wrong? Why did you just...
* He felt his thoughts come to a halt as he watched you pull off your undies, his eyes wandering down to your..oh wow. You really were going to do this.
* You gently place a hand on his chest, using your other to grip his cock, causing him to suck in a breath at the sudden contact.
* He was sensitive and on the verge of finishing just from a slight touch..it was adorable.
* Your hips ride up above his pelvis just right enough for the lips of your pussy to wet his cock with your juices.
* Were you trying to kill him here?
* All he could do was watch and whine softly as he hoisted himself up with his elbows.
* He wanted to be inside you.
* Wanted you to take him
* Be his first, just as he was about to be yours.
* He needed it badly, and so you gave it to him.
* Sweaty, hot, messily.
* You were so beautiful...
* The way you held your tits from bouncing up and down while riding him, a hand still placed on his chest as your head slightly tilted back from the pleasure you were receiving.
* He was making you feel this good..him.
* He felt so embarrassed with the sounds that were falling from his lips—the whimpers, whines, and moans of your name—all just for you.
*Fuck he loved you.
* He was so in love...
* He couldn’t hold it in anymore. He could feel the coil in his stomach begin to tighten as his cock twitched inside of you.
*He was gonna cum
* And you knew that.
* You both did
* “Y-you’re so..t-tight..fuck.”
* “How do you f-feel this good?”
* “So beautiful..h-how did I ever deserve you?..”
* “Fuck d-dont clench around me like that baby..”
* “I wanna cum for you baby..please..”
* “I’m so glad you were my first time..”
* “D-don’t..say things like that..it’s so dirty..”
* “I-i can’t baby..i-I’m gonna-“
* A wonderful first time for both of you, if you ask me.
Characters I had in mind while writing this
REIGEN (mob psycho 100)
All might, present mic, DENKI, sero (my hero academia)
Hinata, NISHINOYA, KAGEYAMA, yamiguchi, bokuto (haikyuu)
ITTO (genshin impact)
POLNAREFF, mista (JOJO’S bizarre adventures)
Kagami, MIDORIMA (kuroko’s basketball)
Sanemi, HAGANEZUKA (demon slayer)
METAL BAT, king (one punch man)
GOJO (jujustu kaisen)
JEAN, Connie (attack on titan)
LEORIO, kite (hunterxhunter)
ONIZUKA (Great teacher onizuka)
Any character you would like
#smut#reigen x reader#mha smut#haikyuu smut#itto smut#jjba smut#knb smut#kny smut#opm x reader#gojo smut#aot smut#hxh smut#eikichi onizuka#nishinoya x reader#denki x reader#kageyama x reader#x reader#itto x reader#polnareff x reader#midorima x reader#hotaru haganezuka#leorio x reader#jean x reader#dom female#sub character
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I love Only Child Steve Harrington but I do also really like the idea of him having older siblings that are a lot older than him so he’s basically an only child. Like he was a save the marriage baby.
His parents are checked out because they’ve already raised children and are a few years out from retiring. Steve feels like a constant failure because he’s being compared to grown adults that are all established in their life. Three of his nieces are older than him.
No one ever remembers that he has siblings until after Billy beat the shit out of him and Hopper forced him to go to the hospital. A nurse cheerfully informs him that they called his brother which - “Fuck, Hopper. Get me out of here. I don’t want to deal with that.”
If they called Jason then he definitely called Claire and if Claire was called then she called Richie because he’s the only one who can ever get ahold of Dad, and “-please, Hop. It’s going to be so annoying.”
“Didn’t know you had a brother.”
“I don’t. I have an annoyance that-“
Steve’s kinda expecting Claire to show up first because she works in the hospital, but they can hear Richie before they see him. He’s threatening to sue the hospital, sue the police, sue Steve-
“You can’t sue me for getting hurt.”
“Child endangerment,” Richie says. “You endangered a child by being, I’m sure, an idiot. I’d make the charge stick.”
“You can stick it up your- ow!” Steve flinched when Jason jabbed his fingernail into the stitches in his forehead. “Hopper, I’m being assaulted.”
“Since you have an adult here, I’m going,” Hopper says, abandoning him. “Good work tonight, Harrington. You did good.”
Steve can’t even articulate how much he’d rather go round two with Billy than be here but Hopper’s gone and Claire is apparently two floors up helping to deliver a baby, and, “Don’t tell Mom about this.”
“Already called her.”
#his siblings call him something embarrassing like ‘Polka Dots’ because he’s got a lot of freckles and moles#Steve sees them twice a year and it’s two times too many#steve harrington#Steve Has Older Siblings AU
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An analysis on how Sir Pentious' character design represents his personality and development perfectly (beware of Hazbin Hotel spoilers)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/11e9aa5c36ae1c4c2f7cee59ef61f458/2fbbda23af6bb6c1-8c/s540x810/4d21d8860b8263f5c7019f77c99a54776f6d3bd1.jpg)
Let's get this out of the way: Sir Pentious is a snake, an animal mostly known for generally believed negative traits such as poison, deceit and betrayal. We don't know WHY he's in Hell, maybe he was a "snake oil salesman" considering he comes from the Victorian times and he's into hyping up what he does, or maybe he was into war. Thing is, he's a Sinner whose design just scream "Evil".
(BTW, a snake could also represent "fertility": looking at you, Egg Boiz!)
He always had eyes all around him not just because of a stylistic choice.
Sir Pentious always felt like he was watched, and had to watch out for any danger.
"Everyone here is too nice: obviously it must be a lie! I can sense they are planning to kill me, but when?! HOW?! I must be PREPARED!"
Sadly, he's been constantly berated by other demons, far more effective in destruction, status, cruelty and charisma. Alastor won't ever bother to remember him, Cherri always ones up him, and the Vs, the ones he admires to most, won't care less about him.
To the point that Vox sent him as a spy without the intention to save him if things were going to fail. Heck, he even openly tells him to die while calling him a failure.
So of course he's got reasons to have trust issues, or taking everything so seriously, being constantly reminded of what he can't accomplish. So he puts an air of grandure that may be very flamboyant, but is VERY frail.
But, if we have to be frank here, his biggest source of insecurities... is himself.
He has eyes on his tail (his softer, more vulnerable side, which is ironically made even MORE lieable to getting hurt because of how sensitive those organs are), and inside his hood, so he could look out better for danger when on alert mode.
Heck, even the mark on his hood kinda resembles one eye.
Problem is, when you see his hood folded, when he's at ease, neutral or sad, those are not looking at outside sources.
They're looking at him, at his back. A constant stare that happens everytime he lets his guard down and shows how vulnerable he is. A gaze that can sense all of his weakness, his struggles, his insecurities.
And it's all him.
Pentious constantly believes that his inferiority complex will fade away once he'll accomplish something grand that will make others accept him. But he is his biggest critic, his worst enemy: HE is the one who believes he's a failure, that he'll never gain approval from others.
This show takes place in Hell, but this is Sir Pentious' personal Hell: insecurity born out of self hatred. Doomed to feel everyone's gaze upon him, including his own. Believing the danger to his self esteem is from others, when it's really from him.
But then he's accepted at the Hazbin Hotel: Charlie forgives him, he bonds with Angel, Husk and Niffty who don't care a bit about what he's accomplished or not, or what he's done in the past.
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He feels more comfortable in showing his vulnerable side, and no one judges him for how easy it is for him to get emotional.
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Of course he's still very insecure, considering how he struggles to confess to Cherri, but notice how he stops building machines or planning to attack others as soon as he starts bonding with the others: he doesn't have a reason to destroy or attack, now that he knows he's loved.
And his final design, when he goes to Heaven, shows how much he's changed, yet stayed the same. He may have died a hero, but he's still the same awkward snake we've come to love.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/848362c477bf6c7b773b5b465eb68a5b/2fbbda23af6bb6c1-89/s540x810/35cead130bf8a8359cb8608f9d698c6e4bfff582.jpg)
Speaking of love, let's talk about that!
No more eyes on his tail, now it's just on his chest (showing he's opened his heart), his glasses are now heart shaped, and even the markings inside his hood resemble kiss marks more than anything else.
And look: the mark on his hood is now heart shaped!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/40e8d80a46f5fcb7193688c477c16c09/2fbbda23af6bb6c1-73/s500x750/6207b3e469cb79275b974feddce63759a2186991.jpg)
Why all these hearts? Why did all the eyes disappeared from his body? Even his eyes that were looking at his back?
Simple: love. Love defeated his insecurities and self hatred. He died for love.
He died protecting his friends, his new family, his new home.
He confessed and kissed Cherri knowing full well he wouldn't have made it, and yet he went anyway.
The usually cowardly and timid Pentious actually faced a great danger with courage and determination: he acted selflessly by putting himself in harm's way, he didn't steal (naturally) and by going against Adam he did indeed "stick it to the man"!
He used his weaponry knowhow and battle experience not to conquer, but to save his loved ones.
His only thought up until his demise was: "I'll go down protecting them".
And he's been rewarded not only by becoming an angel, but also being spawned directly in front of Emily and Sera, two Seraphim, the highest rank for an angel to have, who have also been depicted as snakes of fire throughout history! Sir Pentious, the lowly demon considered a failure by everyone, actually has been noticed by the Seraphim! He's come so far!
He's now come to represent the REAL symbolism of a snake: the duality of death and rebirth, transformation and immortality (ironically a reference to the fact he's been around since 1888 without ever dying from any Extermination or blessed weapons).
And isn't so poetic that a snake, the "source of the original evil", was the first sinner to ascend to Heaven? Or that this episode was released on February 1st, or National Serpent Day?
And of course, as the Bible itself says:
"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."
(John 15:13)
And knowing him, I'm confident in saying he'll keep helping his friends even in his new position, like the soft hearted noodle he's always been, but was to afraid to show it up until now.
#Vivziepop#Hazbin Hotel#Hazbin Hotel Spoilers#Hazbin Spoilers#Sir Pentious#Fave Character#Comfort Character#Personal Rambles#What a wonderful lovable character he turned out to be 🥲#Character Analysis
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one and the same | k.mg
pairing: mingyu x f!reader - friends to lovers genre: angst, fluff, suggestive, hurt/comfort word count: 7.6k summary: mingyu only had eyes for gyuri, and you only had eyes for mingyu warnings: mentions of alcohol and food a/n: it's been a really long time since i posted anything at all, so this is almost new lol. huge thanks to @joonsytip who not only was my beta for this one, but also read each paragraph as i wrote it. i hope you like it!!
You lowered the camera in your hands, your eyes focusing on the man at the end of the porch, on his furrowed eyebrows, crossed arms over his chest, and the redness at the tip of his ears—a clear sign that he should have listened when you told him to put on a beanie.
The faint winter sunlight touched his skin in a caressing manner but did very little actually to warm him up. Your words from the night before kept on echoing through his mind
“There’s nothing wrong in taking a step back and putting some distance between you and something that hurts you”
It was the first time he had ever seen Gyuri like that, as a catalyst for pain, in his life. Throughout all the years he had known her, Mingyu thought of her almost as a haven, the one person he went to when he needed comforting. It took him such a long time to understand that she was also the reason why he needed comforting in the first place.
Maybe it was all his own fault, if he had made a move when an opportunity presented itself, and there was at least a handful of them over the years, he wouldn’t be feeling like that like he had just missed his very last chance.
He felt even worse for thinking that way when he knew how deeply in love she was with Seungcheol, how her entire face lit up at the mere mention of his name, how the man would break himself into pieces if it meant that he would get to see her smile once again.
“I didn’t mean to make you sad when I said those things to you last night”
Mingyu finally turned to you, the frown on his face easing once he saw you, a smile taking over his lips as he shook his head.
“You didn’t. I asked you to be honest and you were, I should have been prepared to not like what you thought of the whole thing”
You hang the strap of the camera on your shoulder, taking decided steps towards him. He suddenly felt shy at the fact that your eyes never left him, even when someone walked by and said hello. Your response came quick and polite, your customer service voice taking over but the person never really got your attention.
“Mingyu” his name left your lips in a quiet tone, your eyes suddenly searching his face.
“What?” his voice too was quiet, like he could barely push the word out.
He didn’t know what this sudden change in your demeanor meant. You had always been on each other's tails, bickering away just for the fun of it. He wasn’t too sure how to react to a different version of you, a you who seemed to care for him far deeper than he could have ever anticipated.
You extended your hand, cupping his cheek while your thumb ran over his lip. A second later your other hand was on his face as well, only this time it ran from his nose up to his eyebrows.
“Stop forcing yourself to smile when you don’t feel like it. You don’t have to pretend, at least not with me”
It felt weird to be the one nursing someone’s broken heart while said someone is someone you liked. While you sat there, by his side, helping him pick up the broken pieces of his heart, your own stood in front of him jumping up and down as if saying “Look at me! I’m standing right here, all you have to do is notice me”
There you were in this romantic place, in front of a fireplace, a glass of wine in your hand, a blanket around your shoulders, the guy you had a crush on by your side, his knee bumping into yours, all the while you felt your own heart breaking.
You had set yourself up for failure, that much was beyond obvious, and yet you couldn’t stop yourself. The moment you saw Mingyu stand in front of you, in clear distress, eyes red with unwashed tears, your heart both constricted and expanded, all at once.
It felt good that he had gone to you but it also felt terrible to know that he was suffering and there was nothing you could do to ease his pain away.
“I never asked you why you brought me here with you,” Mingyu said during dinner.
It was the first week of January, the start of a new year, the start of, hopefully, a lifetime together for your clients, but to you, it was just another day working. In your mind, after calming down a very distraught Mingyu, inviting him to a resort in the middle of the winter made sense. A change in scenario, you had convinced yourself, would be too good for him, it was far better than staying at his apartment thinking about Gyuri and her now imminent marriage.
“I needed help carrying the heavy stuff,” you laughed.
It was a clear lie. You had given the week off to Chan three seconds after you said bye to Mingyu, but he didn’t need to know that. You knew that he would never find the truth out, he had never even met Chan before, and the last thing he’d ask was why Chan had to skip work – another lie about Chan’s mom needing him.
“You know I don’t believe you, right?” he had his eyebrows raised, waiting for your confirmation “We both know that you’d rather cut off an arm than ask for help, especially my help”
It’s how two people can have extremely different views of the same situation. In your mind, you always did your best to be around Mingyu whenever you could, most of the time you were truly really close to looking like a pathetic mess.
Should you have played the damsel in distress card? Would that have helped your situation in the least? It was hard to tell. Although Gyuri wasn’t one to demand attention, Mingyu was constantly around for her, whatever she needed, he was there.
You sipped on your wine, your eyes never daring to stay on him for more than a second at a time. All the bravado you had shown earlier, getting too close, touching him in a way that felt so intimate, was absolutely gone. There wasn’t a single drop of it in your bloodstream anymore.
“Come on, I’m not that bad” your voice was a whiny childish sound and you hated it.
Mingyu laughed, his head tilted back, the corners of his eyes creasing, his teeth on full display. After the laughter died all that was left was his breathtaking smile. Your heart did backflips in your chest, like celebrating a gold medal. It was the first time he had smiled, a real smile after Gyuri told him that she was getting married next September.
“You’re far worse, to be honest” you rolled your eyes, bumping his shoulder with yours, causing him to laugh once again.
It was why you had started to bicker, in the first place, because you wanted to see him smile more, wanted to get his mind off of whichever dark place it had drifted to. If a little banter, a snarky comment here and there, were enough to brighten up his day, then you were all for it.
“Be honest with me, just this once” he asked, trying to make his eyes go as wide as possible like puss in boots.
You laughed and pushed his face away from yours.
“I’m always honest” you played defensive.
It was his turn to roll his eyes.
“I never know what’s going on in that pretty head of yours” he tapped your temple twice before letting his fingers slide over your face, down to your chin until his hand finally landed back on his lap.
You pulled your knees against your chest and rested your cheek on them, not giving yourself any option but to look at Mingyu. How many times had you stared at him bluntly but he never noticed? However many it was, it was enough for you to have his face memorized. The light curve of his nose, the tiny mole on its tip, his soft eyes, the way his lips would quickly turn into a pout when he felt contradicted.
“We’re one and the same, Mingyu” you allowed yourself to say.
You knew that Mingyu would never connect the dots, knew that he would never be able to tell. Unlike him, you were careful with how you expressed your feelings. Mingyu was loud and obvious, everyone knew about it, and it was clear for anyone to see, while it would take someone who really knows you to tell the difference and in the circle you shared with Mingyu no one knew you that well. So, your biggest secret, the truth you were reluctantly sharing would fall on deaf ears.
“Who is he?” he whispered, pressing his body closer to yours.
You thanked the gods that each of you had your blanket, you wouldn’t survive if the only thing separating the two of you was your shirts.
“Doesn’t matter, he doesn’t like me back” your smile was sad, like you had already given up entirely on the matter, and in some way you had.
“Who is the idiot that doesn’t like you?” his expression turned into a scowl as if he couldn’t really believe you “I can punch some sense into him if want, it would be great to let some aggression out”
He was joking, it was obvious. You knew that it was just a joke, but somehow you found yourself trying to swallow the lump that had suddenly become prominent in your throat, trying to blink away the burning sensation in the back of your eyes.
Why would his words suddenly cause that reaction? You had, as much as possible, made peace with the idea of never being loved back by him. There would never be a version of the world where the two of you ended together. Hell, not even an end, just a long period of time.
In Mingyu’s heart, there wasn’t enough space for you. All the love that he had to give was given to someone who didn’t want it.
“Hey, no, I’m sorry” he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you into him, placing a kiss on the top of your head “I didn’t mean to make you cry”
His words and actions only made you cry harder. For a brief moment in time, you were exactly where you wanted to be with who you wanted by your side. It was maybe the saddest moment you had ever found yourself in.
“You’d lose” you whispered against his chest, the steady sound of his heartbeat like a sweet lullaby “It’s the kind of fight you could never win”
You pulled yourself away from him, but Mingyu didn’t seem willing to let you go. His arm barely moved. Instead, he only gave you enough room to move so that you could look at him.
His eyes had gotten too intense to the point you felt your cheeks get warm under his gaze. Mingyu’s eyes moved from your own to your lips, then back and forth again.
Your breath got caught when you felt him lean forward and stop. He was half an inch away as if asking for permission or consent. You could have said no, you could have pushed him away, could have done anything at all to stop what was about to happen. Instead, you inched forward and pressed your lips to his.
Your entire body melted under his touch, the loudness in your mind suddenly quiet at his touch. A quiet moan escaped your lips when Mingyu deepened the kiss, his tongue demanding passage through your lips as one of his hands traveled to your neck, the tip of his thumb on your chin, slightly tilting your head back. Your hands created a kind of their own, running over his clothed chest to the back of his head, your fingernails scratching his scalp.
It would be a lie to say that you had never imagined yourself in a similar position. Nothing in the world, no amount of imagination, could have ever prepared you for the real thing. How hot your skin got under his skills lips, how your body molded into his once he pulled you over his lap, how you nearly lost your mind when he sucked on your neck leaving a mark that you knew would last for days on end.
You pulled back for a second, needing to catch your breath again. Mingyu looked at you with glassy eyes while trying to catch his breath too. He moved his hand down your back, going slower at the curve of your ass and the back of your thighs, his touch teasing, daring almost, as he smiled.
“This is a terrible idea” you whispered.
Mingyu smiled then, pulling your body flush against his, your center pressed over his growing erection.
“No” he murmured over your lips “It’s the best idea we’ve ever had”
The sound of Mingyu’s footsteps rang repeatedly in your mind like it was happening all over again. If it had been weeks since it happened, since you pretended to be asleep when you felt he untangle his body from yours, quietly put on his clothes, and leave the room after he made sure you were fully covered with the blanket. It was a sound that kept you awake at night and when you did manage to sleep it haunted you in your dreams.
You didn’t know what you were expecting from him, from the situation. The truth of the matter was that you shouldn’t be expecting anything at all to begin with.
Taking Mingyu on your work trip had been the start of all your terrible ideas. It was followed by the colossal mistake of being with him in a dimly lit room and then everything after.
You had never seen or heard from him again. When you finally managed to move into bed, after the pain in your heart eased enough to allow you to breathe, you saw his text on your phone “sorry, something came up and i had to leave in a hurry, let’s talk soon, okay?”.
The soon he mentioned never happened. You didn’t want to be the first one to reach out to him. You would never give someone, even if that someone was the person you were in love with, the chance to see you at your worst. Being the first one to call would be exactly that.
On top of it all, you were well aware of what you were getting yourself into. You knew Mingyu was in love with Gyuri, you knew that there wasn’t the slightest chance of that weekend becoming something more than it was, of somehow changing your relationship with him. It did, in fact, change, but not in the way you’d expect.
Your phone on the table lit up, an incoming call. There were days you had expected a call from Mingyu, wished and prayed for it. You had chosen to believe when he said that the two of you would talk soon, but a day turned into a week, a week into two. Eventually, you gave up.
The only person that still called you was Gyuri.
“Are you free this weekend?” she asked before you even said hello.
“No, I’ve got work, on both days”
You put your phone on speaker, not bothering to even raise it to your face. You were tired, your entire body aching from the kickboxing classes you started a few days before. All you wanted was to finish your meal and go to bed.
“Your job sucks” she complained and you could hear Seungcheol’s laugh in the background.
“My job is great and it pays more than yours, babe” the teasing in your voice was evident, the first time you smiled at something regarding Gyuri.
“I’m still waiting on Seungcheol to make me a housewife,” he said something in the background but you couldn’t tell what it was.
Their relationship dynamic was cute, it was clear from the moment Gyuri introduced Seungcheol to the friend group. She made a whole announcement off of it, there were so many warnings around it. You still remember clearly how Mingyu’s entire expression changed, his bright eyes slowly lost their spark. It was the first, and only, time you hated Gyuri.
“Where will you be working?”
“Saturday on the cathedral downtown and Sunday two towns over, a beach ceremony”
“Your favorite,” she said dreamily.
Over the years being a photographer you found out that your dream perfect wedding wasn't one many people were willing to have. The whole setup for a wedding was expensive on its own, the word wedding making every price skyrocket, but having it on a beach was that much harder.
“Yeah, my absolute favorite”
Mingyu was an asshole, he was well aware of it. He felt like an asshole when he left you, when he wasn’t the first one to reach out to you even though speaking with you was probably the one thing he wanted the most.
The problem was him, it had been all along.
When Mingyu was with you during that weekend it felt like the pieces of his shattered heart were mending together. All cracks and scratches were still visible, the pain was still kind of there but much more subtle than it had ever been. And then you were in his arms, body tangled with his, a mess of shaky breaths, sweat, and moans. Suddenly it was like all the gears in his mind and body had clicked together, like everything was finally in the right place.
And it scared him.
For a moment, perhaps in his innocence, Mingyu thought that spending the night together would bring somewhat of a solace to the both of you. He didn’t think something in him would change. He didn’t think a change could happen so fast. He was overcome with fear, so he left.
Seeing you there, wrapped up in him, a look of complete peace on your face caused a new wave of feelings to crash over him. He didn’t want to leave, didn’t want to untangle himself from you. He wanted to enjoy the warmth of your body, wanted nothing more than to simply hold you the entire night and wait to see what morning brought to him. But as Mingyu lay there, the feel of your heartbeat on his chest, the conversation you shared a couple of hours before suddenly came back to him.
We’re one and the same, Mingyu.
Doesn’t matter, he doesn’t like me back.
Yet again, Mingyu saw himself in the position of being interested in someone who had no interest in him. So he left.
Every single cell in his body demanded that he call you, that he went to you. He wanted to hug you again and know, god knows how, that you were made to be in his arms. He wanted to kiss you again and hear the sounds you made. He wanted to fall asleep by your side and wake you up with kisses on that sweet spot on your neck that he learned all too quickly about.
Still, he held himself back.
The whole situation seemed unfair to him. He wanted to be with you while still kind of liking someone, you wanting to be with someone else but somehow settling for him.
“What happened between the two of you?” he heard someone ask by his side.
Mingyu looked away from the door and to Gyuri, who had a perfect frown on her face. When she called and invited him for dinner he almost said no, but when she mentioned that she had invited you as well, he knew that he would be there. He waited for the thing for days, his heart flipping as it got closer to the time of the dinner. But once Mingyu got there and realized that you were nowhere to be seen and that you wouldn’t show, he wanted to leave.
“What do you mean?”
Gyuri rolled her eyes and sighed, clearly pissed off.
“I know yn invited you to go on her work trip and although I might not know why and what you even did there, I do know that something happened. She’s barely talking with me, and you’re barely speaking to me. She shuts down the moment I say your name and you’ve been looking at that door like you’re waiting for someone and the only other person I invited today was her. So you’re going to tell me what happened between the two of you, right now, or Seungcheol is going to beat you until do”
She was out of breath when she stopped talking. Mingyu turned to Seungcheol, eyebrows raised, but all the other man did was laugh and shake his head.
It’s almost comical how Mingyu used to see Seungcheol almost as a competitor, but while sitting on said man’s couch he looked like just any other dude.
Mingyu half expected something to happen inside of him when he saw Gyuri but it was just like seeing any other of his friends. Nothing happened, there was no tension, no urge to leave because he hated to see you around Seungcheol. There was indeed a need to leave, but it was to go towards you.
“Can you find out for me where she’ll be this weekend?”
He was avoiding his question, sure, but he had also made a decision. Mingyu was a man with a mission.
There was something that brought you peace when you worked. It was hectic, yes, and loud, but the second you held the camera and pointed it at something it was like the volume of the world was turned down. It was like an almost out-of-body experience. This feeling paired with the incredible view of the beach, made your heart feel good for the first time in months.
It was already the end of the celebration, half of the guests were drunk and the other half was helping those who were. The newlyweds had left and there wasn’t anything else to do. You packed your equipment, put it in your car, and went in the opposite direction of the wedding.
Although you enjoyed being at the beach, you rarely went to one. The craziness of the day, the lack of a routine, and sudden weddings, all made it impossible for you to have a day or two off. There was also the fact that you had been avoiding free time because it gave you a chance to think about Mingyu, and thinking about him usually led to crying, crying led to binge eating sessions that would inevitably cause a migraine.
You doubted your heart would heal any time soon. It was like the wound was still open, thinking about him or talking to Gyuri was like throwing salt at it.
You heard your name being called and turned around. Slowly you turned around, certain that you were confused about who was calling you. There was no way it was actually Mingyu.
However, there he was. In light-colored pants and a dress white shirt with the first three buttons open, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hair was much longer than it was the last time you saw each other, falling over his eyes slightly, his cheeks were red from being exposed to the sun for too long. He had the most beautiful smile as he walked towards you, one of his hands in his pocket, the other carrying his shoes.
It was almost pathetic how your heart was suddenly filled with hope and joy at the mere sight of him, after months of complete silence.
“I can see why beach weddings are your favorite, it’s really beautiful out here”
You wanted to ask how he knew that or why he was even there, to begin with, but you didn’t, sure that Gyuri’s sudden call on Thursday had something to do with it. Instead, you turned around and kept walking until you reached the spot you were looking for. Looping down on the sand you removed your shoes and tossed them aside, happy to finally feel the sand under your skin.
“I’m sorry I left like that,” he said as he sat by your side “and I’m sorry I didn’t call you like I said I would”
You shook your head.
“It’s fine, I could have called you too”
Whatever was the meaning of the conversation, whatever was the reason why he went after you, you wanted to be over already. There’s only so much hurt a heart should be able to handle and your quota had been met a long time ago.
“Can you let me explain?”
Mingyu reached for your hand but you pulled it away. You were already so close to just allowing yourself to fall into that same wheel of repetition with him, putting yourself through absolute pain to be around him. You needed to break the cycle and that meant being away from him – though you were sure the whole what the eyes don’t see, the heart doesn’t feel thing was actually a bunch of crap because your heart was hurting plenty, even after months of being away from him.
“You don’t need to” you hid your hands under your thighs when you noticed that he might reach out again “I knew what I was getting myself into that night, it’s not like you played me or anything”
Saying those things out loud brought an entire new wave of pain to you. In a certain way, keeping quiet about those feelings, refusing to cry over them, was like shoving all of it into a box and pretending it never really existed, or maybe that it was a dream all too real.
“I left because I was overwhelmed. I thought I had all my feelings figured out, and thought that it would be about two people with a one-sided crush finding a bit of solace in each other. But then…” he paused and turned his body to you and you had to use all your self control not to look at him, to not fall into the deepness of his eyes “Being with you was like finally being able to breathe or stepping out of a cave for the first time in my life. You were the light drawing me out the whole time and I was just too dumb to realize it sooner”
You closed your eyes as the tears started to roll down your cheeks, even if crying in front of him was the last thing you possibly wanted.
Mingyu was saying all of the right things, all the things you always wanted to hear from him, but somehow your heart got tighter inside your chest. There was no relief, just more pain.
“So you’re not in love with Gyuri anymore?”
Your heart constricted just at the thought of his answer.
“I’m sure I was at some point but I think somewhere along the line I simply got used to it so I didn’t know how to fully let go”
“So I’d be your rebound? The getting under someone to get over someone thing?”
Those words hurt so much to say, it was like taking a knife to your skin and pricking it open, not enough to bleed but just enough to burn and scorch.
��No! No, of course not!” the desperation in his voice made you open your eyes and turn to him “I know it’s confusing and I know it doesn’t make any sense. I know that. But something changed that night and I got scared, so I left”
He was saying all the right things and even so… It felt like it was both too soon and too late. Too soon to get over someone he had been in love with for years and too late to try something with you. It had been a whole three months since you saw him for the last time since you interacted in any way. You had been hurt too deeply, perhaps even beyond repair.
“Do you remember that night, when I said that you could never win a fight with the guy I like?” Mingyu’s face twisted like the mere mention of the guy brought a sour taste to his mouth “You could never win because you’d be fighting yourself”
You watched as his face went from confusion to relief like he had finally reached the shore after swimming for hours.
“I have liked you almost as long as you have liked Gyuri” you started before he could say anything else “I watched as your heart broke when she talked about someone, when she introduced Seungcheol, and how we all collectively understood that he was the one for her. I watched you suffer through their relationship and even more so when she announced they were engaged. Your heart was hurting for her while mine was hurting because of you. I don’t believe you when you say that you’re over her because I watched all of that happen”
You stood up and picked up your shoes. You needed to leave, needed to put some distance between yourself and Mingyu.
“All the things you said just now? I dreamt, wished, and prayed for the moment you’d see me and say those things. I never thought I’d walk away from you if it did happen” when Mingyu stood to follow you, you raised your hand, smiling sadly at him “Please, don’t follow me”
The weird thing about a broken heart is how physical it can get. Hearts were simply muscles and therefore it shouldn’t hurt over emotional pain, still as you lay in bed that night it felt like you had been run over. No part of your body wasn’t in pain. A weird mix of heartache and sobs was all that you could feel.
It was like that for days. You only forced yourself to get out of bed when you were needed for work and if you didn’t need to be there, Chan was running things on his end.
There were countless texts and calls from Mingyu, all left unanswered. You used to sit and watch and your phone screen would light up with his name and go dark, just to light up again a few minutes later. He gave it no rest but once he realized that you’d never pick up his calls, he started to leave voice notes.
“I know why you won’t pick up my calls, but I hope at least you’ll hear this message, like you have been reading all of my texts until now”
You had put off listening to them. You desperately wanted to, but you were scared that millions of pieces of your heart would break again and leave nothing but dust. A heart that could never really be mended again.
Liquid courage was needed to even click on his name, a double shot was required to listen to the first message.
“Out of all the things you could have possibly said that day, me being the guy you like was at the bottom of the list. When you told me about the guy, I got so angry. All I could ask myself was who is dumb enough to let her go? Turns out I’m the dumb guy. You see, the reason why I left was because I got scared, but only because I realized that I liked you way more than I ever anticipated and once again in my life, I saw myself liking someone who didn’t like me back. It’s kind of ironic, isn’t it? I was scared to put myself out there with you, scared to see you with someone else, that I kept myself from you for months, when all I wanted was to be by your side. The moment I got into that train I wanted to go back to you and never let go again. I know you don’t believe me, but I wish you would”
At the first word he said your eyes filled with tears. You had wanted nothing more than to just be around him, in his presence for whatever reason. Listening to the first one was like breaking a dam and you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.
“I’ve thought about it, why you’d think you’d be my rebound and I want to assure you, though I’m not really sure how yet, that you’re not. There’s no version of the world, even the ones I’m dumber than I already am, in which I’d treat you like a rebound. The only reason why it took me so long to get to you was because I wanted to be sure, that I wasn’t making a big mess in my mind. I have you in so high praise in my mind that I’d rather cut off an arm or a leg than do anything to hurt you”
“I feel like the greatest jerk ever, you know? Before, we used to meet alone and then I’d just cry about some other girl and you were just so willing to listen. I remember how sad your face would turn when I said something and I used to think that you were simply feeling sorry for me but now that I know the truth? I’m so sorry that I put you through that. For the longest time, I kept thinking that I was in the worst position one could be, while you were in a much worse one. I’m so so sorry”
You listened to audio, after audio. Each one of them brought a new wave of tears to your eyes, a new sob to leave you.
After all the audio messages, there was a text.
“Please, agree to meet me. Give me just one chance to prove to you that I’m not just talking out of my ass, that I mean everything I said”
The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, not a simple cloud in the sky to ruin a perfect sunny day. The perfect weather for the kind of pre-wedding pictures Gyuri wanted.
“After the week we had, I thought we would have to postpone today's shoot,” Chan said, setting down the equipment on the ground.
It had been raining the entire week, the one of rain that just setting the foot outside the door meant getting drenched. Gyuri had called you in complete desperation every single day, almost crying. Both you and Seungcheol going around in circles to calm her down.
“God listened to all of my prayers this week,” you joked.
While you and Chan were setting up your equipment, Gyuri and Seungcheol were getting ready inside the house.
You turned around when you heard the sound of another car approaching. You thought everyone had already arrived.
“Shit”
It was a car you were all too familiar with, having learned how to spot it from far away, even if you weren’t exactly the kind of person who knew a lot about cars, despite having your own.
The car parked right by yours and a second later Mingyu stepped out. His eyes were covered by sunglasses and in unusual casual clothes. He smiled as soon as he saw you.
He took out a few boxes from the back seat and turned to you.
“Do you mind?”
Blinking away your surprise you took one step forward but froze in place again.
“I’ll help,” Chan said, already going towards Mingyu and taking the boxes from his hands “Where do I put these?”
Mingyu's smile faded a little. He blinked the surprise away and turned to Chan.
“On the kitchen, please” Chan simply nodded and entered the house while Mingyu walked to you, his most charming smile in place “Don’t think you can simply ignore me today”
The words whispered in your ear, causing a flash of that night to cross your mind.
God have mercy on my soul.
The entire day was a big test of self control, on how much you could focus under enormous pressure. The pressure of being the photographer at your best friend’s wedding was already enough. But having Mingyu around? That was a whole new level of pressure. One you were still yet to meet.
You could feel your eyes tracking your every move. Every step you took, every word you said, every breath you took, was under his watchful eye.
When Gyuri and Seungcheol went inside to change clothes, Mingyu approached you.
“Here, drink some water” he extended a bottle of delicious cold water, but you hesitated for a second “Come on, it’s like a hundred degrees, you’re all in black. It’s just water”
“Why are you here?”
Mingyu took the cap of the bottle out and handed it over to you. He waited until you drank some before he answered.
“I invited myself, figured it was a good excuse to run into you” you rolled your eyes and turned away from him “You don’t believe me?”
That’s the thing, you did.
For days you kept listening to his messages, one after the other, and then the ones he sent after. Sweet, sweet words that made you giggle like the teenager you never were. His date ideas, followed by not-so-sweet things he’d like to do with you.
“I do” you handed him the bottle back.
Mingyu blinked at you a couple of times, like he was having a hard time registering what you just said. His confused face was easier on his eyes than his charming, flirty, side.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, that’s absolutely the last I ever want to do. I’m sorry for being a complete idiot and never realizing both of our feelings, because honestly, it takes a complete idiot like me to overlook something that was right in front of me the entire time”
He reached for your face, his hand covering almost the entire side of your face.
Finally, you caved in.
You closed your eyes and leaned into his hands. The weight that had covered your heart for months was suddenly gone. All that was left was this fluttery feeling.
“I missed you”
The admission came in a whisper.
You missed him in every sense. Mingyu was your friend before he was the guy you liked, a presence so constant in your life and then suddenly there was no him.
No random annoying texts, no midnight tours to McDonald's, no sudden barges into your apartment because you’re not fooling me, I know you haven’t eaten the entire day miss.
“Oh, sweetheart”
He smashed his lips over yours. Mingyu was like a man who found water after days in the desert, a hungry man gifted with a banquet. Your body was pulled entirely against his, both of his hands on your face, holding your face close, your own on his back.
Mingyu was the first one to pull away. He placed small kisses all over your face, up your nose, your forehead, and then back with a quick peck on your lips. He sighed as he pressed his forehead to yours.
“I missed you so much,” he whispered and quickly kissed your lips again.
“Do you mean it? Everything you said to me both on the beach and in your messages. I can’t take another heartbreak, Mingyu”
He tilted your head back, making sure that he had your full attention.
“Every part of me is yours. There’s only one person I want by my side and that’s you”
You stood on your tiptoes and pulled Mingyu to you. The heat taking over your skin had nothing to do with the scorching sun, but everything to do with him.
“I missed you so much,” he said before pulling you close again.
The world seemed to have stopped moving. It was just you and him and nothing else.
“Oh great, the sexual tension in the air will be even worse now” someone groaned behind you.
Unwillingly you detached yourself from Mingyu and turned around. Seungcheol had a grin on his face while Gyuri had a full-on smile.
“Oh, so that was the issue. Just two idiots taking too long to realize that they wanted to fuck”
“See? I told you but you didn’t believe me!”
Gyuri threw her hands in the air.
“I thought she couldn’t stand him”
“Sweetheart, that’s called sexual tension”
You pointed a finger in their direction.
“If you two keep talking, some pictures will get ruined” you turned to Chan “You, not a single word about this”
Mingyu laughed and turned to him, hitting his shoulder once and then pushing him away.
“And you, go away. You’re too distracting to be around”
There was an unfamiliar weight over your body. It was too hot under the sheets and the extra weight wasn’t helping a whole lot with it. The night sky didn’t help tell the time or even an approximation.
When you tried to move the weight around your body got tighter and heavier. You turned around in bed and all the irritation over the heat vanished.
Mingyu had your body wrapped up in his. His right arm and leg over you in a position that couldn’t possibly be comfortable for him but you didn’t dare to move again.
You had struggled to fall asleep. Your mind constantly took you back to that night, to the sound of Mingyu leaving and your heart shattering at the same time.
“Sleep, I’m not going anywhere” he promised, placing a kiss on your forehead and tightening his hold on you “This is the only place I want to be, with you”
After a few minutes, Mingyu noticed your breathing evening out and he too was able to relax. He hated that he was the one who caused you so much pain.
When you told him about it, Mingyu was washed with both happiness and regret. Happiness because you liked him back and regret because he wasted so much time.
He had liked Gyuri, he wasn’t going to shy away from that. He had and that was it. Finding out her engagement wasn’t as soul-shattering as you had thought, or at all. What was truly soul-shattering was seeing the pain so evident in your eyes, how you seemed to barely be holding yourself together, and knowing he was the cause of it.
Slowly he started to notice the difference in your actions. Small things that you’d do for him but not for other people, shit you’d take from him but never from someone else.
He had so much he wanted to say to you, things that maybe would make the situation clear for the both of you, but you, rightfully so, weren't taking any of his calls. When he noticed that you were at least reading his texts, he took it as his chance to expose his feelings. At first, he thought about writing but those would be too long and that was something he knew you hated. His second option was audio messages. He could only hope that you would listen to them.
Having you accept his feelings for you was indescribable. You were the light in life, pushing away all the dark clouds that threatened to darken his day.
“You’re thinking way too hard in this ungodly hour” he murmured with his eyes still closed.
Mingyu noticed when you stirred awake, the tension going over your body. The light sleeper on him woke up to every small movement you made, and you moved a lot.
“I’m hot” you whispered.
“Yeah, you are”
You laughed out loud and Mingyu pushed his face further into your hair, taking in the soft jasmine from your shampoo. He missed your laughter, he had taken it for granted for too long.
“Laugh again and I’ll let you go”
You poked his rib trying to push him away.
“You have to be funny first and you're, like, the most unfunny person I ever met”
Mingyu made a quick movement, suddenly he was sitting on top of you, holding your arms over your head.
“Take that back right now” you simply shook your head, doing your absolute best to hold back a smile that threatened to peak out “You're sure about that?”
You simply nodded and that was enough for him. He slowly moved his hand to the side of your body. What could have easily been a sensual touch quickly turned into a merciless tickling session. You did your best to keep your laugh in, not make a single sound, but there was no fighting against it. Soon enough you were a mess of laughter, tears running down the side of your face.
“Okay, I surrender! You win, I laughed”
Only when your body stopped shaking that Mingyu fully let go of your hands.
“From now on, tears of happiness are the only ones you’ll ever cry. I’ll make sure of that”
Slowly, you ran your hand up his arm that was holding his weight next to your head, to his shoulder, until you were able to tangle your fingers through his hair.
“Well, I was hoping that I could cry because of other reasons too”
Something in his eyes changed. The softness was gone, replaced by mischievousness.
“We can arrange that”
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Could we get a reaction where the members make the reader cry?
seungcheol would freeze the moment he sees the tears in your eyes. he’s not used to seeing you like this, and it hits him harder than any argument ever could. “fuck, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean—” he’d start, reaching out but stopping himself, his voice would drop, softer, “please, just... i’m an idiot, okay? i’ll fix it, i swear.” unsure if he should touch you yet. “hey, i’m sorry… i didn’t mean to… please, don’t cry.” he’s not good with his words when he’s panicking, but he’ll do anything to fix this, to make you smile again.
jeonghan prides himself on being the calm in the storm but when you start to cry... “are you seriously crying right now?” he’d say, but his voice would crack just a bit, backstabbing his own emotions. when he realizes that he’s the reason for your tears, the smirk would drop from his face, and he’d feel a pang of guilt deep in his chest. “shit, i didn’t want to make you cry,” he’d mutter, suddenly feeling helpless.
joshua’s heart would break at the sight of your tears. he’s always been the one to comfort you, not the one to cause your pain. “hey, hey, don’t cry,” he’d say softly, his hand reaching out to gently wipe your tears away. the guilt would eat at him as he realizes just how much he’s hurt you.
junhui would panic a little when he sees you crying. seeing you like this would make him feel lost. “wait, don’t cry, please,” he’d say, his voice almost pleading. he’d step closer, unsure of how to comfort you but desperate to try.
soonyoung would be devastated, immediately regretting whatever he said or did to make you cry. “shit, no, don’t cry,” he’d blurt out, his own eyes starting to water just at the sight of you. he’d pull you into his arms without a second thought, holding you close. “no, no, no… please don’t cry, i’m so sorry.” he’ the type of dude who doesn’t knows how to react when people are crying. especially if he’s the cause.
wonwoo would be stunned, when he sees your tears. he’s not good with words, but he’d try his best. “i’m so sorry… i didn’t mean to hurt you, you know that...” he’d say quietly. he’d reach out, hesitating for a moment before gently touching your shoulder. “i’m sorry. let’s talk, okay? i want to make this right.” he’ll do his best to express how much he cares, how much he didn’t want this to happen. he’ll sit with you, offering his hand, hoping you’ll take it. if you do, he’ll hold on tight, silently vowing to never let this happen again.
woozi would be hit with a wave of guilt that he couldn’t quite hide, even with his regular stoic expression. “you’re crying? jagi please let me—” “you’re so mean jihoon!” he’d feel a tightness in his chest, hating himself for being the cause of your pain. “i’m sorry… i shouldn’t have said that. i don’t want to see you like this.” he might not know what to say at first, standing there, feeling like the worst person in the world. he’ll gently take your hand, rubbing small circles on the back of it, his way of comforting you. he’ll sit with you in silence if that’s what you need.
minghao hates the idea of making you cry. he really likes balance and harmony, so seeing your tears feels like a personal failure. minghao will gently guide you to sit down, offering you a tissue and giving you the space to express how you’re feeling. he’s good at listening, at understanding what’s beneath the surface, and he’ll do everything he can to reassure you, to make sure you know that he cares deeply. his touch is gentle, comforting, as he promises to do better.
mingyu + seeing you cry because of him would completely wreck him. he’d instantly feel like the worst boyfriend in the world, his heart breaking at the sight of your tears. “oh no… don’t cry because of me, I don’t deserve it...” mingyu would pull you into a tight hug, burying his face in your shoulder, whispering apologies and trying to comfort you as best as he can. he’d probably end up crying a little himself, unable to stand the thought of hurting you. he’ll do anything to make things right, to bring back your smile.
seokmin is always careful with his words, so when he sees you crying because of something he said, it feels like a knife to the chest, hands reaching out to cup your face, gently wiping away the tears. he’s the type to immediately feel guilty, replaying every word he said in his head, wondering where he went wrong. he’s desperate to make it right, holding you close and whispering apologies until you both calm down.
seungkwan will do anything—make silly faces, tell stupid jokes, even sing your favorite song—just to see you smile again, when that doesn’t work, he’ll just sit beside you, his heart breaking a little more every time he hears you sniffle. deep down, he’s scared, scared that he’s hurt you too much this time.
vernon feels like the ground’s been pulled out from under him. “shit, i—i’m sorry.” he’ll try his best, awkwardly pulling you into a hug, he’ll stay quiet, holding you until your breathing evens out.
chan seeing you cry because of him would completely break his heart. “shit, babe, i didn’t mean it like that.” his eyes loaded with worry as he reaches out to you. chan would pull you into a tight hug, holding you close as if he could shield you from any more pain, his heart breaking a little more every time he sees another tear fall.
#seventeen reactions#seventeen scenarios#seventeen headcanons#seventeen x reader#seventeen#seventeen imagines#seventeen smut#svt smut#seventeen fluff#svt imagines#seventeen angst#seventeen fanfic#seventeen x you#seventeen x y/n#seventeen x oc#seventeen fic#seventeen imagine#seungcheol x reader#jeonghan x reader#joshua x reader#junhui x reader#seokmin x reader#seungkwan x reader#vernon x reader#lee chan x reader#dino x reader#minghao x reader#mingyu x reader#hoshi x reader#wonwoo x reader
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his little finger
spencer reid x fem!hothead!reader
part two here
spencer has you wrapped around his finger; you'd do anything he said without question. your team can't quite understand it. little do they know you and spencer have an unsaid.. thing.
warnings: reader has a hot temper? is that a warning? | words: 1k short but sweet!
You were known to have a confident personality. You never let anyone shake you, that's why the team loved you so much. You were the sole, beating heart of Aaron Hotchner's team; you never let them give up. Not only, but you were kind of a badass. You knew how to profile amazingly, and you could hold your own if an unsub got a little too rough.
Something else you were known for? A hot temper.
Okay, maybe it could go a little bad sometimes, but you truly meant well. Like that time you accidentally made a teenage boy cry. To be fair, he was a potential unsub. He actually was the unsub, so not all was a total failure.
Today was different for you. The coffee shop you frequented before work was closed due to issues with the electrical systems. That put a chip in your day. How was one to thrive without coffee? Next, you forgot your badge at home, making you late for work since you had to retrieve it to even get into the building. That put a dent in your day.
Derek was known to be a funny guy. Not the kind of funny guy you'd actually laugh at, but the kind who kind of pissed you off sometimes. Yeah, that kind. While he meant well at heart, it just royally pissed you off. You couldn't help that!
You leaned your elbows on the table, listening to the coffee pour into your cup. "Hello my little fox," Penelope greeted, her face frowning when she saw the look on yours. "What's wrong?"
"Bad day so far," You muttered. "Everything's just going wrong."
"It's only seven," Derek said as he walked in, smile on his face. "Come on, sugar. Go on and sit down at your desk. I know how you like your coffee." You thanked Derek quickly as you went to your desk. It was right next to Spencer.
Oh, Spencer. The boy who fell hard for you, who made you fall for him. Neither of you knew that, though, your crushes remaining secret still. "Y/n," Spencer frowned, "what's wrong?"
"It's alright, Spence," You forced a small, pathetic smile. "Just a bad morning."
Spencer gave you a half smile, "Positive attitudes actually give you a higher likelihood of having a better day by ten to thirty percent," Spencer rambled, "and that actually is the same for social connections, being a twenty to forty percent. You're on the right track."
You loved Spencer's rambles. They were adorable. "Thanks, Spence." You smiled.
A few minutes later, Morgan came to your desk with your coffee in hand. "For you, sugar." He grinned like the Cheshire Cat. You quickly took a generous sip.
It left your lips quicker than it entered. You spit it out into the trash can next to your dest, face turning sour at the taste. It was so bitter, so salty. "What the hell, Morgan?!" You cried out, "What is this?"
"Salt, sugar." He teased.
Your face turned hot, "How old are you, six?" His face slowly fell as you became angrier, "Genuinely, how old are you? Because last I checked, children don't have jobs."
"Hey," Derek tried to calm you down. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to actually upset you."
"Oh, of course you didn't!" You replied with sarcasm dripping from your lips. "You just don't get when people don't want you to make them feel worse!"
Derek's face fell into a frown. You didn't mean to hurt his feelings, but you couldn't stop your words. "Y/n," Spencer said firmly, "Sit down, now."
Before you could even think, you followed his command. The whole event caught Penelope, Emily, Rossi, and JJ's attention. JJ was quick to rush over, grabbing your coffee. "I'll get you the right one, it's okay." She comforted as Emily quickly lead Derek away. Rossi and Garcia decided to mind their own business, smart.
You groaned, head in your hands. Spencer was quick to kneel by you, taking your hands into his own. "Y/n," He said softly, "Take a deep breath. I know, I know." You followed his instructions, inhaling and holding it like he demonstrated, softly letting it out after. "Good job, sweetheart, do it again for me, okay?"
After a few more times, your face cooled off. You closed your eyes, sighing. "I didn't mean to hurt his feelings."
"I know, he knows, too." Spencer assured. "He knows he was out of line. You reacted the same way anyone would. It's alright."
Spencer raised his hand to your face, softly brushing your cheek with his thumb. JJ walked over, unsure if she was ruining.. something?
"Hey, I got you your coffee," She hesitantly spoke. You looked up, reaching out quickly.
"Thanks," You mumbled, taking a cautious sip. When you realized the taste was right, you took a bigger sip, sighing at the warmth flooding down your throat.
Spencer gave you a small smile, "See? It's okay now."
You nodded with a smile, thanking him softly. He went back to his desk, re-opening his report. You did the same, clicking your pen open.
"Okay, now what the hell was that?" Derek asked, the previous team members crowding around Rossi's desk.
"I felt like I was walking in on them," JJ mumbled awkwardly. "The tension was so strong I thought it was gonna slice me clean in half."
Emily smiled, "I bet they're in love or something, only love can make a person react like that. She would've bitten anyone else's head off." Everyone mumbled in agreement.
"I bet two weeks," Rossi said after a moment.
"Nah, knowing Reid, it's gotta be more like three." Derek shook his head.
Emily laughed, "I bet a week and a half. Y/n's too badass to not admit it first."
"I don't think they ever will until we do for them." Penelope sighed, knowing how stubborn both individuals were.
"I say one week, solid." JJ nodded. "I felt that tension."
Hotch's voice came out of nowhere, "Four days."
Everyone turned around, shocked. "Hotch, you sure about that?" Derek asked, a slight tease in his voice. "You know them."
"I do," He nodded, "Four days. You'll see I'm right."
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds fandom#doctor spencer reid#criminal minds fanfiction#dr spencer reid#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n
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What If 141 and the best enemies to lovers line of all time...
"Who did this to you?"
Cue protective instincts and sexiness
hehe I am giggling!! Okay. Listen. I am fully aware that this is an enemies to lovers trope, but I don't think it applies to all of the 141 guys in that manner. Is there protectiveness? Yes. Is there a bit of spice? Yes, if you squint really hard. Is there also some sweetness thrown in? Absolutely there is. I had lots of fun with this one. I hope you enjoy it!
Presented in four double drabbles.
For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE
Task Force 141 x 141!Reader
Content & Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): swearing, brief blood and injury, hurt/comfort, brief suggestive themes, protectiveness, light angst
Word Count: 800
ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
“Who did this?” Kyle bends forward at the waist, pressing a bag of frozen peas to your face. His concern is genuine. You can see that, but it’s strange. The two of you get on, but this is something else.
Kyle looks…angry like your injury personally offends him.
“It’s nothing,” you murmur. “Things happen during sparing. It’s fine.”
Kyle’s frown only deepens. He doesn’t believe you. And why should he? The person you were placed with took it too far. And it was all to impress him as if putting you in your place would somehow grant his favor.
It’s clearly done the opposite. He could care less about your sparring partner.
“It was your sparring partner, wasn’t it?”
You don’t answer. Just press the peas to your forehead a little harder.
This time, Kyle’s frown turns slightly upward. “Jokes on them, ya?”
You glance at him sideways. “How so?”
Kyle is grinning. It’s stunning. All pearly white teeth.
“Because I have my eye on someone else,” he says simply, as if that answers everything.
Though you cannot see yourself, you feel your face growing hot under Kyle’s gaze.
“You shouldn’t say thing like that,” you reply.
“Why? It’s true.”
John Price
“Who did this?”
“Why do you care so much, John?”
You attempt to pull your face out of his grasp but he holds firm.
“Of course I care,” he replies. The two of you stare into each other’s eyes, chests heaving. John is close. Too close. So close he could easily brush his lips against yours.
“I don’t know why,” you murmur.
“You do,” he affirms, authority in his tone.
Do you? Maybe. Perhaps. Deep within yourself you truly know the reason but can’t decide to speak it to the air. That would make this real. Whatever this is between the two of you.
‘Tell me who did this?”
“And do that what?”
“What the fuck I want to them, love.”
“It’s nothing. You shouldn’t worry about it,” you reply, again trying to escape from him.
But John isn’t having it. His other hand hooks around your upper arm, and then you’re pressed closed to him. He is so warm. All strength.
“Let go,” you say, but there is no volume behind it. It is weak. Not even a protest.
“Tell me,” he repeats, head dipping slightly.
Yes. Close enough to kiss.
“Tell me,” he says again, this time softer.
Simon "Ghost" Riley
Simon’s blood beats heavy. It is tinged with metal. A lace of fire that cannot abate.
His boots slap against the linoleum floor. The overhead lights are bright. Clinical. He is a shadow here. A dark specter.
No one stops him. No one glances his way.
And why should they?
He is a man made fury.
There were hands put upon you. A training exercise taken too far. Simon was not there. And he doesn’t know why. Not exactly. But he’s furious. Protective. The fact that he could not stop this only infuriates him further.
To him, this is a failure.
He doesn’t come to a stop. Doesn’t knock. He barges right on in.
The nurse yelps. Spins suddenly. Face red.
You glance up, eyes wide at first but soothing slightly as they land on Simon. You’re bruised. Stitched up.
Fucking hell.
“Out,” barks Simon.
The nurse leaves but stares him down the entire time. He approaches the table, and lightly brushes the backs of his fingers against the wound on your forehead.
“Who did this?” he asks.
“Simon—”
“Which fucker?” he growls, bending forward slightly to look into your eyes.
“Should see the other guy,” you joke, smiling.
John "Soap" MacTavish
Johnny shouldn’t feel this way. He shouldn’t. You’re not his. Even if he wishes it were so.
Every swing of his fist sends the building frustration outward, shooting into the massive boxing bag before him. It’s a poor substitute for the face he truly wants to smash. Several faces that is. Two specifically.
Who did this?
The words slipped from him unbidden. An instant anger. You had only scowled. Told him you could handle yourself. And you can. Johnny knows this. But he’s still fucking pissed about it. Still seething.
All the fucker got was a quick slap on the wrist. A promise to not do it again.
That sits sour in Johnny’s belly.
But you didn’t cave, no matter how much Johnny insisted that he’d take care of it on your behalf. So he is here, punching the shit out of something that isn’t flesh.
He wishes he could take away your pain. Take away the memory. Give it to himself to carry. You don’t turn on your own. There’s no honor in what happened.
But as much as he wants it to be true, Johnny can do nothing.
You are not his.
Even if he wants to be.
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@sapphichotmess @saoirse06 @ferns-fics @unhinged-reader-36 @miss-mistinguett
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#task force 141 x reader#task force 141#task force reader#task force 141 imagine#task force 141 fanfiction#task force 141 fanfic#task force 141 fic#task force 141 fluff#task force 141 headcanons#simon ghost riley fanfiction#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley fanfic#simon ghost riley fanfic#simon ghost riley#price mw2#captain price mw2#price cod#john price imagine#john price x reader#john price cod#john price x you#soap mactavish fanfic#john soap mactavish#soap call of duty#soap mactavish#soap cod#soap mw2#kyle garrick x reader
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I have a question, well 2 questions to be exact that’s been rattling around in my head since I started reading platonic yandere batfam fics, why would reader stay in Gotham? I’d be sneakily stealing as much money as I could without getting caught as soon as I reach a “fuck these guys” mentality. Like, asking to have some money for groceries or something and just pocketing it so that I could get a bus ticket and leave the city. Would you do it if you were reader? It just makes sense to me “this place sucks, these people suck, I’ve gotten enough to leave”, this is with me assuming that reader has the means of course, if the reader doesn’t then okay, yeah that makes sense
And my second question, do you ever feel resentful towards Alfred when you read batfam photonic yandere content? I do sometimes, especially when the reader is neglected. I know this might sound odd but when I read these fics I recognize that Alfred could do more, out of everyone in the manner, I think Alfred’s word carries the most weight, especially with Bruce due to him raising Bruce. I also notice in some batfam fics that the reader doesn’t get mad at him due to him giving them attention, but idk it feels kinda like a slap to the face, knowing that I don’t have the power but he does and yet not exercising it until I’ve burned every last tie to that family.
I know my thoughts are a more “well you’re on the outside looking in” type takes, but idk, it hurts my heart knowing that if reader stays in that city, it will be far more easier for the batfam to find them, where if they were outside the city, they’d have a fighting chance to make a new life for themselves
On a side note, I think we are underutilizing the angst potential of reader legally changing their name and the batfam not knowing until months or even years later when reader leaves. Like Bruce and the fam would just have to sit and realize that reader hates/dislikes/doesn’t care about them enough to legally change their name from Wayne to whatever reader chooses. Jason was Batman’s greatest failure, but Reader would be Bruce’s greatest failure, and what a delightful public failure it would be if the tabloids were to somehow find out that one of Bruce Wayne’s biological children changed their legal name
I’m loving your batfam content btw, like it makes me want to create one of those “screw therapy, I need to fist fight my dad” tiktoks and tag Bruce Wayne, that’s what I can phenomenal writing!! And sorry for making this so long! Hope you have a great existence!
slight spoilers for future chapters.
this is one of my favorite asks... anon, you are so brilliant because your two questions tie into the reader's character so well and the flaws that they (you) conjured from years of neglect, so i hope my answers would suffice (i am answering based on the perspective of the reader from my series: again & again with a bit of my own perspective). tysm for sending this in, i actually really enjoy long asks and appreciate it when people take the time to send me these things!
why would the reader stay in gotham?
chapter one wasn't all the detailed about why they stayed in gotham. firstly, their self-worth had them reason that in no way, shape, or form would their family that basically estranged them would come running to them, especially not when the only time the reader could even stumble across them is by some miracle of coincidence. this also ties into their lack of knowledge about their family. sure, they know that babs is the oracle but do they know just how much access she has across gotham? not really. they know tim, like bruce, has a tendency to collect information about other people, but they don't know that they have contingency plans to be creeped out enough to get away from gotham and from their reach.
"it's not like tim or bruce or barbara considered you important enough to be stalked. hah, as if!"
and the third point is, despite bruce being a billionaire of some sort, it was stated that the reader was too well-behaved and quiet. how does this make sense? as you've stated, they wouldn't simply have the means to get out. seeing as they were sheltered by alfred and never really explored the concept of traveling far away, they never asked for money; the only advantage of being a wayne is having quite a lot of things served on a silver platter.
they have this sort of toxic bond for staying with the people who have hurt them and it materialized to them physically staying despite knowing it would only cause more pain than anything else, and they don't know that. plus, they'd rather not have the wayne name associated with them and getting money from cheques or credit cards would be too risky for the reader's safety.
they've only realized just how shitty their family is after more than 10-13 years of staying in the manor, and saving up to move to an entirely different place would be difficult, alongside college and the jobs they have to take. so the next best thing they could do is rely on any means of advantage they could get whilst also moving on to the path of self-discovery and recovery.
but that doesn't mean they're staying in gotham forever, definitely not. the moment the reader realizes that dick gained some sort of interest towards them, they're booking it out of gotham. preferably to metropolis or central city or even somewhere far, far away— they're naive, but not stupid. sudden interest towards them means danger rather than anything else. and they're aware that alfred is capable enough to pull strings, so that's why spoiler alert: they have a secret stash of money hidden somewhere and like any children of bruce, they inherited the capability to be smart enough to already back up their contacts and everything on their phone, buy a burner phone and even change their entire identity in one quick go right after they move into an entirely different city or country.
gotham is merely their practice course.
do you ever feel resentment towards alfred?
quite frankly, yes. the reader in the fic feels resentment towards everyone for a reason actually, but alfred's part was stated vaguely as to not spoil a future chapter that focuses on his perspective. they know that he has the more power inside the manor more than bruce has. everyone, and i mean everyone respects alfred, and it doesn't take a genius to know that if you mess with him, you're messing with an entire family of crime fighters.
it's not obvious, but the reader's narrative in chapter one is them trying so hard to delude themself into thinking things can be better until it's too late. so in a sense, there's false narrative coming into play.
"alfred would be too busy sometimes to attend your school ceremonies because he had to assist bruce with missions. of course, you understood his priorities. after all, he tried his hardest to make you feel less lonely inside the mansion, it wasn't enough but he was there at least."
at some point in time, alfred had also neglected the reader emotionally with the same reasoning as the others; he was busy with their father. and this all could've been avoided if alfred had tried to confront the entire family about it. i'm not delving deeper into this to really avoid spoilers other than pointing out some details in the first chapter.
just know that alfred relishes in your newfound favoritism towards him, and that he may or may not have pulled some strings himself from helping you become closer to the family.
the part about reading changing their name from (name) wayne to (name) (last name) is what made me so drawn to this ask. you have pretty much predicted one of the chapters that explored (name) wayne to the public eye. they're not so much of an internet celebrity because of their rare appearances in public, but that's what causes immense curiosity about their identity to uprise in gotham, and their fame was one of the means to get to you.
there was one news article published that was the reason that made bruce distant towards you.
but let's focus on what yan! bruce would've felt once he turns a full 360.
because the first thing he would do once he has you in his grasp is to change your last name back to his. you are not the child of a (last name), you are a wayne first and foremost, bruce's third child and his greatest mistake, quite literally. you were a product of a one-night-stand, and because he was drowning in despair from jason's death, he had failed to notice you. all his years of neglect, and he doesn't even know a single thing about you, simply because he refused to acknowledge your presence.
and you rightfully hated him, he should've accepted that. but your diary entries and the way you innocently thought of him destroyed any sliver of hope for a peaceful reconciliation. he hates how you were experiencing the same type of despair as him when it comes to battling your own monsters— you truly are a wayne at heart. he couldn't afford to let you get away any further. just like dick, he needs to fix it now or further sever the already broken ties you have with him.
it's not batman now, but rather bruce. bruce wayne had failed to save another one of his children, not as a vigilante, but as a father.
knowing bruce, he's quick to take into action and search for you.
holy shit, this is a really long post but i hope it does answer the questions ! im so grateful that you like my writing enough to write a really long ask, and i hope to see your messages more once the new chapters are published <3
#🍨... yael's talking#series: again & again#yandere dc#yandere batfam#yandere batman#yandere batboys#yandere alfred pennyworth#yandere bruce wayne#yandere dick grayson#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x gn reader#yandere x you#yandere x y/n#platonic yandere
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sweet nothing || rafe x reader x sarah
summary : it's okay to want them both.
warnings : minors dni. smut. stepcest (no incest/rafe and sarah are not implied together.). oral (f&m receiving.). bisexual!reader. mean!rafe but meaner!sarah. controlling. cunt inspections. jealousy. daddy issues. manipulation. strap mentions. spit kink. i don't feel like it's a dark content but just in case. please, be aware of the warnings before reading.
author's note : /
“ Rafe is not allowed in it. ”
Sarah Cameron didn't want to share you. As the high Kook Princess that she was, she always got what she asked for. She never had to sweat or bleed to get what she wanted. So if she wanted you to be hers, you were hers.
But that meant there could only be her in your life because there was no way she was sharing her girlfriends with Rafe. She had always been the crueler of the two. It wasn't surprising since Ward had always favored her. If she acted like this, it was because she had always been allowed to. It was too hard for Ward to deny her anything. And if he couldn't be tough and firm with her, he needed to be with someone else.
And Rafe was so easily the perfect prey.
Just like you were Rafe's perfect victim when Ward was evil to him.
You were only there because his father married your mother. You were just an outsider to this degenerate family and yet you were now part of a conflict of interest between the two siblings.
in fact, it has been terribly easy for Rafe to have power over you and to abuse it. Since you suffered from a father who had never been there for you, and you refused Ward to be that father figure for you, he simply had to use your daddy issues to his advantage.
so he had always looked for the slightest fault or failure in you. he was going to find any excuses for you to cry in his arms. also, he was very controlling. you weren't sure of the outfit you wanted to wear? he knew how to compliment you. Did he hate your outfit? he also knew how to make you insecure about it. he was an expert in manipulation since he was a compulsive liar.
you weren't just his stepsister, you were his fucking forbidden fruit.
you were too perfect, too good, too clean. but he wasn't like sarah. if he wanted you, he was going to damage you and destroy you. Rafe wasn't good at taking care of people. He had a terrible view of affection. He wasn't even sure what it was.
You were so adorable that it hurt, that he wanted to make you suffer.
He knew he could never make Sarah suffer, and that he was secretly the only one suffering from this distance between the two of them. Because Sarah was meaner. People always stayed with her despite the suffering she inflicted on them. Because she was so much better than him in terms of playing the victim.
he also hated the fact that you preferred sarah more than him. why did he always have to be the one who sweats and bleeds to be appreciated while sarah just had to bat her eyelashes to get everyone under her spell ? it was unfair.
and without meaning to, he had started to categorize you like her, a simple bitch among the others. except he needed you to know it, he needed you to be treated like one to be happier. and damn, he deserved this happiness. more than you, more than sarah. more than anyone in this house.
he hated the way you stayed together like sweethearts, even though you were far from being angels.
" think sarah would appreciate seeing you like that ? being such a whore for me, think she would pay you the same respect after seeing you drooling for my dick ?"
his voice was so sharp that you gulped hard under his words.
you were on your knees, mouth stuffed deep by his cock. your corners were dripping as you gave him a sloppy head for a few minutes raw. he held your head by the hair while you gagged on him which served as an excuse for him to degrade you even more. you were so pathetic, willing to do anything to satisfy him. your mouth was working so hard that it felt like it was always meant for this, to be used and treated so dirty.
he was so hard that you could feel every inch of his dick inside your mouth. every noise you made was sucked away by the wet sound of your lips around his cock.
“you can cry all you want, maybe those tears will help you get my dick wet and nice. if you don't like me being mean to you, you should learn it before choosing this bitch over me. ”
you continued to pump him, while he forced your throat with his thrusts, his heavy hips slamming down your cheeks.
“ tongue out...such a pretty girl...” he mocked you, tear-jerking more cries from you. “better swallow what I give you. don't disappoint me twice, i can't fail you. ”
he lost his patience with you so he didn't care that he was cold, and that you took it so badly. that was all you deserved.
he had spat on your tongue, once, twice, until he saw his spit sliding down your throat, until he saw the large glob foaming around his cock, creating a web around his glistening red tip. you were so messy and dirty like a dog after a walk.
and you made him even harder when you took him this far in your mouth. he could feel you struggling and gasping for air. you were so miserable that it made him feel better to see someone even more pathetic than him for once.
“ what's up, pretty ? thought you were an angel but you're such an evil thing. ”
you tried so hard to speak back but his dick was hanging out your jaw to the point all your drool was dripping from your chin. you were such a mess, unable to talk, unable to think. he was fucking your face, tearing your lips apart with the length of his cock. he was driving his shaft so fast in your mouth that you were just good at choking on it. he wrapped a hand around your neck and smirked when he could feel your throat bulging around his dick. your tears were hot, and your cheeks soaked with spit and cries.
he spat on your face, watching his spittle drip down your cheekbones like tears before smearing it on your cheeks.
“ repeat after me. say i'm good to you. now, say it. "
oh yes, he needed to hear it. he needed to hear from you that he was good for you. he needed to hear you say that you didn’t need anyone but him. he needed to feel important to someone.
“ y-y-our good to...me...hmpf...”
your muffled words were enough to make him cum.
he had released everything in your mouth, splashing it deep down your stomach.
but it wasn't just rafe.
sarah also had this need for control over you. she started to establish her territory on you.
her brother didn't deserve to have someone like you. pretty and angelic girls were only reserved for girls.
“rafe isn’t allowed in it.”
you thought it would end there but she had opened your thighs to slip her fingers inside your folds. you were already terribly wet as if you had been hearing about her touch all evening.
but she didn't want to make you cum. no sarah cameron wanted to make sure no one made you cum before. she inspected every corner of your pussy with her fingers.
at first, she just checked the inside, before starting to pump it in and out, watching you getting wetter with her fingers working in your insides. her thrusts were fast and deep but also insanely forceful, leading you to take the heavy pace she was driving onto you. you were panting and crying like a crybaby, as you could feel every of her digits bruising your walls.
you thought Rafe was mean but Sarah was meaner.
her fingers were tearing apart your canal, literally opening you too deep and you were supposed to be quiet because all your family was sleeping. and you didn't want to be caught in that position, especially when the situation was already so shameful. you didn't want anyone to know about your secrets.
“ say it. say that you prefer me over him. ” she urged you as she was scissoring you quicker, making you squirm over her fingers.
she was supposed to be your gentle princess, the delicate sweetheart that took you on amazing day to make girlies activities, but also the kook queen that spoiled you everytime you wanted something, but also the good sister that help you dress and listen to your matters but now you were just her pathetic whimpering dirty slut.
you were the toy that she's gonna use until she was satisfied and tired of it.
“ and you better say it like you mean it. because i can be pretty good, but also, really bad. and you don't want your step sister to be mean to you ? you don't want her to be your worst nightmare ? ”
she was scaring you at this point, but he really worked. you felt a lot of things inside your body, and your mind was so fucked up. her smile was so wicked, but less than the fingers curled inside your weeping core. the way she was so cruel, calling your brain a real pussy for being so useless and making you so wet by the way she was degrading you.
“ you…you're far better, sarah. ” you moaned, but she muffled your noises with her hand by putting her fingers inside your mouth.
“ i don't want to see you with that loser anymore. let him cry, it's the only thing he's good at it. ” she paused before continuing. “ I thought you were like me…but you're just like him. i really need to change that. ”
she knelt in front of you before spitting on your pussy. she waited for the spit to make its way down to your soaked slick to slide her tongue inside your parts. you forced yourself not to scream but you felt awful.
she was just too good.
you promised rafe not to hang out with sarah anymore, but you also promised sarah the same thing. as they both played with you, you allowed yourself to betray each of them. it was their fault. they had both taught you to be selfish.
her tongue was so warm. she had barely slipped it between your folds when you were already getting wet on her mouth. as she licked you, causing the inside of you to spasm, her chin was stuck to your weeping slit.
her tongue was toying with your cunt. you were so good, a fucking heaven. she mixed her spit with the foaming wetness at your entrance. she forced you to stay still, threatening you with her eyes and controlling your body with a hand on your tummy.
she didn't forget your clit and she also played with your arched bud to the point of making it bruise. her mouth was wrapped to your pussy, latched on and licking it, collecting every stream of your pussy.
she has so much power over you.
all her thrusts were so perfect. she absolutely wanted that if someone touched you here, you would remember that it belonged to her.
she wanted you to think of her every time someone touched you, just like Rafe wanted you to only think of him if someone entered you.
except you were free. with sarah, you only thought of her. with rafe, you only thought of him. you were not a toy. you had feelings. and you weren't going to get into their stupid, competitive games.
when sarah took a strap out of her drawer, you looked at her with wide eyes. you have never gone this far before. she reassured you while you watched her put it around her waist.
“what do you want..."
she laughed in a sharp mocked tone. oh where you sweet girl at? “I don't want anything. it's just what you need. because you like to think about dick, i'm gonna show what's a real cock is. now, enough. turn around. i don't want to see your face anymore. ”
“you're just so mean sometimes. ” you cried softly, before you obeyed her like the good girl you were .
“oh that why your tears for? should them be for letting a pathetic man fucking you behind my back. now you want to cry this much? Fine, it's all I want to hear from you. ”
That was how you ended up between the two Cameron but you were unable to make a choice. why were you forced to?
“sarah said i look pretty in that dress.” you started.
“let me choose something better for you then. don't you want to be beautiful ? "
“I thought I was always beautiful to you.”
“you are but only so when you wear what I tell you to wear.”
you hated it when he was controlling like that but it was impossible for you to resist him which you hated even more. you wanted to please him.
“burn that shit.” he commanded you.
“you’re joking, right?”
rafe remained silent to let you know that he was serious.
one other day, he gave you a necklace with his initial, and you blinked a lot of times. “I’m not going to wear that.”
"yea, you're gonna wear that. i want people to know what's mine."
"They're going to talk, you know..."
" why? because you're my sister. we're not related. from what i've know, you've only got my cum inside you. not my blood. "
"it's not because everyone knows on the island that you're fucked up that i'm…”
now he was pissed. you had abused his patience. and what you had just said to him had just stung him and hell, he hated that feeling because he wasn't supposed to feel anything for you. you weren’t good enough to him to have the upper hand over his emotions.
he walked towards you, and you backed away, slightly frightened. you knew he was in trouble so you were afraid of what he could do to you.
“come here, sweetheart. I’m not mad.”
he lied. and you knew it, tears had started to fall down your face.
Usually, Sarah was there when Rafe wanted to go after you but this time she wasn't. you were stuck with him so he had the advantage.
"you know I wouldn't hurt you. I'm incapable of hurting you."
he lied again.
it was all lies. with him.
"liar! you lied! you hurt me everytime."
“you are the only one who lies. "
oh evil.
"i always took care of you. and you better not forget how kind and patient I've been with you because I'm tired of being the one who has to take everything in this house. sarah, my father and now you? no, it's not going to happen. "
“what?”
"last chance, sweetheart. come here.”
you rolled your eyes.
“ do that shit one more time and i'm gonna make them roll in a way you're not gonna find it funny. ”
“ you're not my father, why should i listen to you ? ”
you lift your gaze to see a smirk on his face, before he pinned you down the door and lock it behind your back, his weight was heavily pressed on your body. “ don't act like you're listening to your daddy, you're far from a good girl. ”
“ that's not what you said to me earlier in the morning…”
another day it was sarah. you were coming back from a family day where everyone was there except Rafe. you didn’t know if he hadn’t been invited or if he hadn’t wanted to come. but in any case, everyone had been there.
when you got home, you followed sarah to her room. you loved spending time with her so much. Today, you learned to surf, ate ice cream with wheezie, built sandcastles, and met her pogues crew.
you left out the detail where you saw her kiss a certain john b because it made your heart hurt.
you didn't know what sarah found in men. topper and now this john b. but could you blame her when you were doing worse behind her back?
when sarah closed the door, you blocked her against it to kiss her. you forced her mouth to open in frustration, and she kissed you too, possessively. it was like your feelings were speaking through your lips. your tongue was furiously curled against hers, and your mouth violently smacked on her.
“ i don't like to see you with him. ”
“ do i owe you something ? ” she simply replied, arms crossed over her chest. “ i ask you a question. ”
“ oh come on, you don't need to be a bitch with me. ”
“ why ? i feel like it's the only way to interact with you. ”
“ are you mad at me ? ”
“ because you're still fucking with my brother ? if you can play, i will play too. ”
“ fine, i don't care. kiss all the boys you want. but don't forget that the taste you're seeking for is somewhere else. ”
“ now, you're against me ? rafe really fucked you’. fine too, stay with that jerk but don't forget who's dick between his and mine making you cum three time raw. ”
“ god, you're so annoying. ” you exploded. “ why can't things be simple ? “
“ because we want you both and you want us both. ”
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