#and i dont look that way or find that thing attractive | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

red-velvet-0w0 · 3 months ago

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"I hate ___ stereotype about ___ minority group. dont assume that about us! i think i speak for all ____s when i say that instead you should start stereotyping us as _____ :)"

PAIN. PAIN AND SUFFERING BE UPON YOU

idk about you but how about instead of replacing one stereotype with another stereotype we instead just... dont stereotype people in the first place

like seriously in the span of like a week (i think time is confusing) i have seen 2 posts, one going "thinking of all lesbians as skinny conventionaly attractive feminine woman is innacurate! all lesbians hate conventionaly attractive and feminine women and we all are super masculine and only like super masculine people" and the other going "thinking of all women as buff butch lesbians is actualy innacurate and problematic! butch lesbians make up a very small portion of our community and youre way more likely to find a fem woman like me. hope this helps :)" and both of them genuinely make me wish i was dead

#i see this so often in trans spaces too #genuinely makes me feel so disgusted and hate being trans/lesbian #(it makes me feel like when they talk about how “all trans women ACTUALY look like ___/ all lesbians ACTUALY find ___ attractive”#and i dont look that way or find that thing attractive #theyre just calling me not a real lesbian/trans woman in favor of defending a different group #like please guys #just say “sure some lesbians like ___ but i like ___ and you should expect and be open to both possiblities”#and dont feel the need to put anybody down)

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k1tty5 · 21 days ago

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hello :D please tell me more about your mezalian (is that how you spell it??) smalletho I will forever be indebted to you

(they are gorgeous I love them sm)

hey hi !! it would be my pleasure … (and I’ve been spelling it mezalean ??? but i have no idea LOL. there might be a canon spelling but i havent watched joels esmp1 since… probably since it ended. i will have to check sometime)

apologizing in advance because i will probably get very ramble-y!!

ummm. Oh god. How to start. Lets see. WELL. In this silly little au (i guess it has become a bit more than just me doodling designs LOL) in my head they have like this sort of zelink dynamic? obviously without all the zelda lore & stuff, just that kind of … okay forgive me I haven’t brushed up on my zelink lore for a good many years but. Like the princess and her personal knight that doesn’t really talk much sort of thing.

this made more sense in my head. But yeah. They have the vibes of zelink ? At least if i remember zelink right, I have a really bad memory :’) not exactly the same, i do think etho talks to joel (whereas if iirc link never really talks) - especially after getting to know him a bit - but just. they have the Vibes. You know?

I reckon Joel’s definitely very into sculpting in this au, maybe dabbles a little in painting - I imagine mezalea to be very heavy on art and expression in general. think you’d especially see lots of pottery and textiles all around the place. He probably also has an interest in some form of like. um. whats the word. Some sort of … fighting. lmao. Specifically thinking of fencing, i had this idea in my head that he’s watched Etho practice outside the palace at some point and is just absolutely fascinated and enamored. by both the practice and etho himself haha.

and for etho… talented swordsman? he is Not washed. i dont really have many ideas for his character in this au To be completely honest, mostly just of his personality. Although, I alsooo think he’s probably not actually from mezalea? I like to draw him with those pointy elf ears, and i think mezaleans are just humans. I cant remember if thats canon or not but um. mezaleans have human ears, so i’d imagine etho’s probably from like.. rivendelle? Is that. What it’s called. The elf guys? Are they elves??? Goodness I cant remember. Grimlands would make sense too since i THINK they’re kind of like. technical engineer guys? but i dont know what species they are um so ,,, yeah,,,,

i think joel’s probably a bit put off by etho at first, mostly just because he’s not super enthused about the idea of a personal guard, but also because the guys a bit odd, you know? but he’s also probably suuuper intrigued by him. he wants to figure this new guy out, and when they start talking a bit more, i think. They are both incredibly charmed by the other. head over heels? possibly.

most of my ideas of this au are just little scenes that are cute and silly but dont follow any main plot. I would love to write some one-shots of some of the ideas i have in the future, but as of right now im experiencing a bout of creative burnout and am busy with the holidays - spending time with family, so… not right now lol!

hopefully this is what you wanted,,,, i tend to get very ramble-y when talking about literally anything, so i do apologize for that haha, i am Not good at explaining things in simple ways, as i’ve said many a time before.

#sphynx asks!#sphynx rambles #i guess i’ll tag this as #smalletho #and #trafficshipping #for filtering #when explaining my thoughts on smalletho (or any ship for that matter) i always feel the need to clarify that um #being someone on the aroace + probably aplatonic spectrum #i always put a bit of that into my headcanon of characters #like in my brain they are never sexually attracted to each other or anyone else #and the relationships aren’t ever easily describable. they just exist as they are without a label.#maybe they kiss maybe they like each other but i never put them in any sort of established romantic relationship in my head #it Is my desire for connection and intimacy without the “rules” and lines between platonic and romantic attraction making itself known #because i don’t really. feel. either? I want to love someone but i am not sure what love entails. and i’d reckon that probably shows LOL #dude i could go on and on about how being aroace feels for me and how i project that onto characters. its honestly. fascinating to me lmao?#i find the topic of love and attraction and friendship and connection and intimacy just incredibly interesting as a whole though LOL #sometimes i feel like some alien (not in a bad way!! ..most of the time) looking in on human life like… how very curious this is! wow!#Honestly i could probably talk about anything for hours. i just really like thinking about things and sharing my thoughts #unfortunately im also terrified of sharing those thoughts and being perceived in general ! social anxiety at its finest here!#i spent the whole day working on this answer lmao. which really shows just how much i struggle putting things into words #and then POSTING those words? i have to reread what ive written a billion times to make sure i don’t sound stupid or insane #and even then i still worry. so at this point its just become.. post and dont look at tumblr for the next while to let the anxiety subside #anyway um.! Yeah.#im going to sleep now. Thumbs up.

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oozeandgoo-art · 3 months ago

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#pour one out for complaining. as soon as i posted a blurry photograph of my screen the wifi came back #tbh i prefer the b/w lines but im saving that for subscribestar #pinup #girl #i dont really know what to tag this #it's just a figure drawing #contents: not safe for work #it's so fucking hard to draw pale people i swear to god. i ended up just modifying the shit out of the colors to make her tanner because th #whole thing came out hideously desaturated and boring-looking #like cardboard #but the veins are in there because every time i hook up with someone like. MILK white pale #i end up like captivated by the way their veins show through their skin #and on a certain kind of rail-thin super-pale person i find they can be some of the most attractive features on a person

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skunkes · 7 months ago

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feel like im so so so close to unlocking a higher level of thinking about art google search how to induce brain blast

#that thing about how nobody draws the way i want to draw but realizing past cheye #made the art i wanna be making but better.#thinking about how the struggle with my art is how there's so many ways to draw something or someone #and obvs i have my preferred ways which leads to ''style'' but it still makes it hard to Choose.#as well as tell if it looks good or not #nothing ever has to be the same #the way i also struggle to get inspired bc i struggle to find ppl drawing Weird or Ugly art.#not being able to relate to a lot of general inspiration because it all looks the same.#twitter post heres my hot oc with 1M likes and its the same face the artist draws everyone with which is the same #face everyone draws to denote an attractive person. next.#*i* want to and should make things far outside of this. everything can be drawn in any and every way #my only struggle rn is i still dont have fundamentals down. truly and really. if i could make something look #good bad on purpose instead of bad bad id be home free #how do i get there i need to get there #its like how if you look at ana/tola Howard's work there's lots of things that dont look '''right''' but they look Good. how? how?#i wanna get there #talkys

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zedif-y · 3 months ago

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the reminder that only i get to decide what's fair to me is actually really fucking soothing

#ryan's screaming #yk. the whole thing people say abt aros and allos in a relationship #how its unfair to either side depending on who you ask #but its also like. who are you to dictate what is and isnt okay for a relationship that isnt yours #idk. idk #i might have some kind of feelings for this guy #but like i dont care about changing our relationship in any way bc as long as he doesnt suddenly #start treating me like shit or drop me then im happy to continue what we have rn #who cares that he doesnt have romantic feelings for me. he still cares about and looks out for me #he still finds me attractive and wants to be around me and likes me presence #and thats enough for me. why wouldnt i be happy with that?#anywayJSJDJSJS #rambling

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gifti3 · 1 year ago

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I like to to think mcs who wouldnt fall into the conventionally attractive category getting shooked when multiple demons find them attractive

#and i dont mean in a 'ur scary looking' way #unless thats what the person reading this would want of course #but uk theres kinda a look thats in right now #so what if its different in the devildom?#i would hope they arent constrained to a super strict beauty standard like humans tend to be #like they are more willing to engage with a variety of features #if that makes sense #its kinda like how ud think someone is gorgeous but society says the opposite #so ur definition of attractive is more broad in a sense #but i wanna take that thinking and apply that to a whole country lol #of course everyone still has their own preferences but theyre still very open to other things #like i prefer pancakes over waffles but i still like both of them and sometimes i want waffles more #anyways i think this would be cool u know #like 'wow i never got this much attention before this is almost jarring'#obey me #obey me nightbringer #the idea is interesting and i think it would make sense!#if uve lived long enough i feel like ud be more flexible right?? cause youve had more exposure and experiences to different people #i mean the brothers all liking mc regardless of looks could be good proof #theyre very different in personality but they all still find mc good looking #what i guess im trying to say is that demons in general are more versatile when it comes to looks or something like that #see how i said looks #cause they still be hating on angels and humans #tbh im giving this game more credit than i should #but i think the idea would at least be interesting to consider

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whoviandoodler · 5 months ago

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I can't stress enough how important it is to draw characters with physical traits you find ugly, unattractive and/or repulsive, especially if you yourself share those traits. Nothing will make you more accepting of diversity in yourself and others that engaging with it during the creative process and giving it to characters you love.

#diversity #representation #dan talks #it will also help u in the outside world too #disabled/fat/etc people will have a much nicer time around you if you #a) have already seen people like them. know some stuff about them. and aren't shocked #b) have done work to unlearn the stigma around them so you can treat them like people even before you get to know them #i was kinda debating whether i should make this post bcs im not rly comfortable calling fat/disabled/etc people the things i did #but at the same time it IS how many people see us #and it IS why finding any diversity of race ethnicity ability body size etc etc etc is so hard #how many comics online are just skinny cishet white abled conventionally attractive people?#that will have like 2 brown characters that just look like the white characters with the brown bucket tool involved #to be clear i dont want to cast judgement on anyone who finds diverse people ugly or repulsive that's not the point of the post #the point is that while it's not your fault society taught you things it is your responsibility to unlearn them #and a great way to start if you're an artist is to draw through it #doesn't matter if you're a beginner or an expert just do your best it'll always be better than nothing

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faaun · 5 months ago

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ok let's catch up quickly

#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth #(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian #like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told #him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive #fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research #(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux #to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him #my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept #insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them #and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating #apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they #keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading #this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY #JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT #NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn #this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore #i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt #himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure #even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin #right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love #her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her #its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking #kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD #i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society #feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO #WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best #its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good #one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much

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theultracharmingladynoire · 7 months ago

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#I MEAN. I LIKE GIRLS. RIGHT. WHY DOES THIS FEEL SO WEIRD. I HAVE HAD ONE(1) CRUSH BEFORE AND THAT WAS A GUY.MAYBE BECAUSE OF THAT? BUT THEN #NOW WHENI THINK ABT IT WAS ONLY HOW HE LOOKED. ESPECIALLYY HIS EYES AND HE HAD VERY UHHH DRAWABLE FEATURES. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE #THINKING OF IT...I NEVER EVEN LIKE THOUGHT ABT CONFESSING OR DATING OR EVEN TALKING WITH HIM....I actively avoided even thinking about it #at that time i thought that was because in a way i was guilty of having those feelings for him considering we barely had interactedand it f #felt weirdly creepy thinking of osmeone that way without their knowledge(??)#now i still retain some of that sentiment but also...was i really romantically or sexually attracted to him at all?#when i see people and actors and characters online i do find them hot but irl...do I really want that sort of thing?#whenver i read stories of romance and close friendships too i aways want to have those in mmy life. but #like okay romance aside...even in friendships i.i just can't do them?#i like helping people and i o enjoy having casula conversations i like being nice to people too nut #but it. it feels sort of suffocating to be close to people emotionally?#i dnt know how to put it but there's always a limit after which it starts feeling weird. i want close strong bonds with people but ifeel so #uncomfortable when it starts happening.so many people around me love me in all different forms but o i really love them all back in the sam #intensity? I think I can only say that for my parents. my friends...i don't know.#do i really care about them asmuch as they care about me?#i do a lot of things...i say a lot of things that can only be said if i cared about the other person honestly and earnestly..#but. butto me it really feels like it isnt that deep #these ats of servic don't come from my heart nor my head #i just. do them because...i don't evenknow..that's just my response...i really dont think anything of it.#i don'tknw. this is all so stressful i wish icould just do whatever i ahve to do for a day interacting with peopel andleavingeverything beh #behind when icome home. but then it feelsso lonely but being around people also makes me feeluncomfortable when i try to establish bonds wi #them.#i don't knwo i wish i never gto close to them in first place.....life wouldve been so much easier

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veatomis · 29 days ago

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Would it. Be too diabolical if i put lucanis in the tailored to elio version of the regret fade prison.

#varric is still making it into the regret fade prison he's just not the main attraction anymore #neve... so sorry bestie but i dont think her relationship with elio is good enough for her to have the kind of impact the prison requires #harding.... maybe. she and elio were better friends the problem is as a crow idk if he would be that sentimental #about her sacrifice. like i could see him explain it away as her choice #viago is obv making it into the regret prison. elio regrets tarnishing house de riva's reputation #he regrets putting viago in such a tough spot. he regrets looking to viago for familiar ties even if it was a bit long ago #elio's twin luar might make it there too. regrets trying to force a deeper bond with them even tho they were obv not that interested #also in a fucked up way. he comes to regret not being able to help minrathous more because it hurt luar's best friend #neve rather than just because it hurt neve period. (+ it forced luar to take sides and they chose neve so...)#there are also some more nebular regrets idk how to include just yet. elio following the crow's path and using his body to get info #during contracts even if it means he has to suffer thru pretending to be a woman.#elio knowing his ex loves him but choosing his own methods of doing contracts over said ex and causing them to break up #the kind of person elio chose to be. the kind of personality type he's boxed himself into (jokester/shoulder to cry on/defers to his #superiors/doesnt shoot above his station) and how he cant escape that anymore #and the most diabolical one. how elio regrets thinking he could ever find a family within the veilguard #and how maybe he even regrets falling for lucanis (elio did NOT get the dessert thing. he's operating in a lucanis #doesnt reciprocate his feelings wavelength) and how him being so pushy mightve led to lucanis being turned off #from pursuing him while also adding unnecessary stress onto lucanis

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hollow-vok · 2 months ago

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Ohh im obssesed

#uprooted #uprooted naomi novik #solya #marek #my main playlists dedicated to them :]#idk why they cought my attention in 2018 and since that year they have had a special place in my heart. sometimes throughout my day-#i realise im obssesed with them and they're not just some random characters i like. ive dedicated a lot of time on them #i wonder how my interest in them will be when i get older. i certainly know that i will miss them if i stop thinking about them #you could say they have seen me grow. i knew them BEFORE quarantine. they were with me DURING. and AFTER #they have been through so many phases of my life. its so strange.#they changed so much too...except Marek. he still looks the same I imagined him in 2018. solya is definitely different tho #but i do think i have a different more in depth understanding of both characters #even if the words i read in 2018 are still the same now that i look back at the book. they were so many things unsaid but if u looked-#closely you could understand them. solya and marek as individual characters have so much depth...even if its not explicitly said #or maybe its just me reading between the lines too much. i wish i just knew more about them. this is getting so long-#but I got a bit nostalgic. is crazy how i was just a child and somehow even tho solya was just the total opposite of the type of characters-#i like there was something in him. something that made me look at him. and i think thats actually so in character of him #i think that in the book even if someone didnt like him. it was still hard to look away because he stood out from the rest.#there was definitely something about him that attracted people. or else how would have he gotten so far in his schemes?#I may be overanalyzing it. but i love the Falcon so much. and i do like marek a lot as a character. i find him very interesting. i know he-#did bad. terrible. things i like him as a character. not as a person.#i wish i could have seen what was going on in that damaged mind of his...#analyzing his behavior its so entertaining to me. i love making up scenarios where he is at his worst. im not gonna lie #marek suffering and then finding comfort in not comforting things is one of my favorite headcanons.#his obssesion with his mother is also a very important part of his character (ofc) and i love imagine him doing things related to that #thinking about the ways their personalities connect and make them have a very toxic bond keeps me up at night..they made each other worst #and we actually never see that in depth in the book. everything is so subtle but my crazy brain can find the signs in any part #i will stop this rant here. i feel its so long and if i made any spelling mistake i apologise to my future self (probably my self from-#tomorrow) because i know i won't be able to fix the misspelling and that will stress me SO MUCH.#future self please dont stress about it. just be happy. and enjoy thinking about these insane characters

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nomaishuttle · 1 year ago

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sry its just like rly incredibly annoying how much ppl will like. IDK. yes ik a lot of autistic and adhd ppl who do love music. and sometimes it is bc of their neurodivergence yk. music can be grounding its familiar its reliable and comfortable. i think its fine to say Autistic/ADHD ppl often find comfort in music. but its stupid as fuck to say Therefore enjoying music makes you autistic/adhd.

#like that cant be the only diagnostic criteria... im not at all anti self dx but i am anti just hearing abt something doing 0 research and #being like yep thats so me. yk.#likeee. i have a LOT of issues on the psych industry trust me. i also think in a lot of cases its dangerous to be diagnosed. and in most #cases self dxing even uninformed self dxing isnt harmful its just like. idk. it can be harmful when you use it to spread misinfo #even unknowingly. IDK.... like. i enjoy eating the same foods over and over bc they are safe and reliable. expecting these foods #and then getting something different than what i was expecting is incredibly upsetting. that is bc of my autism but if that was the ONLY #autistic trait i had i wouldnt say i was autistic i would just say that i find comfort in my foods being reliable and i dislike change.#and i think a lot of ppl just feel this need to put a label on every single thing abt them down to like. the way they walk.#like do i do the classic autistic Walking on the balls of my feet yes its true i do do that. but again i wouldnt say i was autistic just bc #of that... sometimes its just a quirk you have. sometimes you just have things you do and you dont need a label to put on them to explain #that thing... its more just like. if you do have that dx or whatever you can look at that thing and be like oh this might be bc of that dx.#and you can kind of bond over that with other ppl. IDKK its complicated and im rambling #again idt its like super harmful to self dx even uninformed its just like. i wish sometimes people would just be like . chill abt labels #its the same thing with sexualities and gender like. sometimes you dont need a hyperspecific word to describe your entire identity sometime #you can just be a person. yk. like i love being bisexual i love the bisexual label and im proud of being bi. i dont feel the need #to look into the specific ratio of who im attracted to or when im attracted to them or whatever to make a more specific label. IDK THO #idk. basically i just think instead of trying to group everybody into these tiny Ultra specific groups of ppl you relate to i think you #should just be like. Oh everybodys a person even if they dont experience everything the exact way i do. idk whatever

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gibbearish · 9 months ago

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yknow what bugs me is when ppls criticism of YA media boils down to them just not knowing how teenage crushes work

#'bella being depressed because edward wasnt at school is unhealthy obsession' no that's called having a crush #'him asking her out by them hearing a rumor saying theyre dating and bella going 'what should i say' +him responding 'well i guess you could #tell them yes. yknow just because its easier' is lame and boring' are you kidding me i ate that shit up at that age #when two shy awkward people flirt thats how you end up in a relationship is you both kind of just sidle your way up to it #and i dont even feel like that one contributes to like 'things abt him that arent necessarily red flags on their own but as a whole point to #bad things' like. from what i gathered feom the movie bella did not seem like the type to like some big first move #like. shes an emo bruh girl. if it wasnt some sort of edgy teenage heartthrob performance then shed just brush him off like #every other Conventionally Attractive Dude™ falling all over her #ppl keep acting like her not going for every other dude who wants her is a character flaw or bad writing but. like #literally just have you ever met a depressed teenage girl.#shes Not Like Other Girls™ and finds regular guys who express emotions in regular ways boring #her wanting him over every other bland boring safe guy she could have in an instant isnt a plot hole‚ its characterization #also i disagree with the vibe that she's just a blank slate like. as someone who was a depressed teenage girl #she didn't come across as blank to me #she came across as. depressed and emo and trying so very hard to look cool and mysterious at all times and had #spent her life up to that point praying to find out magic was real and could whisk her away into a life of adventure and romance and drama #you look me in the eyes and tell me that girl didn't spend middle school chewing through every book she could get her hands on #as fast as possible.#idk #origibberish

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fantasmadelaciudad · 1 year ago

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when nic from nirvana for girls fame said the way brothers pheromones i thought he was being silly but I Understand Now.

#mikey way circa 2005 makes me feel like my insides r being ripped out i can’t look at pictures of him for too long or i’ll start shaking #like a rabid dog.#there’s like. one picture of him from warped tour where he’s playing and he has the word fucked written in sharpie on his arm and. um.#actually. i’m going to stop talking now. but I Get It.#ALSO I DONT THINK ANYONE KNOWS WHO NIC IS but he’s a big early 2000s pop punk emo hardcore etc fan #and he did a video a few months ago about the fob tour and. among other things. mentioned that they had never been super interested in mikey #like obvi he liked him but he was always more interested in whatever the hell gerard had going on #but the first time he saw mcr live he couldn’t stop looking at mikey.#and like. yeah. I Get It.#u think youve hit rock bottom & then u find yourself attracted to a white man w blond hair 😞😞😞#QNWNDNFKF OK. BYE #LMFAO

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justinefrischmanngf · 1 year ago

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one of my friend’s friends is obscenely attractive not just in how he looks but just in the entire way he carried himself and spoke and went about things, he had this real magnetism, and it was very interesting to be aware of myself feeling some kinda way towards that

#i find it v v interesting to look back on social interactions and think about why you felt a certain way about things #and why you responded that way to certain people #and i know why i responded this way to this guy it was just interesting to see it in action #and i dont mean like . i responded in an over the top way or a way that stands out but just like. how i felt. in conversation #anyway he’s got a gf and it wasnt even that kind of attraction that i was like I Want To Date You it was just Oh I Am Attracted To You

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phagodyke · 1 year ago

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whenever ppl ask me what my type is (or even like. what celebrities I find attractive) I have a rly hard time pinning it down for them bc things like familiarity actually factor in a LOT for me so I don't tend to immediately recognise whether someone I've never seen before irl is hot or not. actually if we wanna get properly into it the reality of how attraction works for me is that I fall in world-rearrangingly devastating love with someone and my "type" then redefines itself accordingly as a category of ppl who remind me of them in specific subtle/less-than-subtle ways and the imprint of that sticks with me forever so whenever I find someone instinctively beautiful I'm always just seeing the ghost of past loves in their face or the way they hold themselves. but I can't explain that to ppl bc I feel like it comes across weird and a little creepy so I just laugh and tell them "well its arbitrary, I'm just attracted to ppl on an individual basis! um and also ayo edebiri is sooo gorgeous" which is true

#I mean it makes total sense bc there are some ppl who mean so much to u that just seeing them triggers ur oxytocin like crazy #so of course being reminded of them when looking at a stranger is going to manifest as attraction #most of my friends are genuinely jaw droppingly gorgeous to me bc i have such strong affection for them how can i not find that there!!#there are definitely some celebrities I consider pretty/handsome. but as an aesthetic quality not from a place of attraction #its like looking at a nice wallpaper pattern or smth #idk. having a definitive answer for what i find attractive doesnt especially matter to me bc its such a fluid thing #in the same way that having a distinct sexuality/gender identity doesnt matter to me either. i dont really like boxing myself in w labels #I mean I like using words like dyke and butch as a shorthand bc they point in the right kind of direction. but theyre not exclusive to me #I feel like this world constantly tries to interrogate and label things in a way thats pretty unnecessary tbh #like I get that having categories is important to some people. but not everyone yknow. its interesting to think abt tho #language will never be succint and perfect enough to define an entire human by its own nature!! all communication is a proxy measure #anyway im extremely tired. yes this is somewhat related to prev tamino post btw bc I was thinking abt how he looks like someone else #peace and goodnight on planet earth #.diaries

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