#the way i also struggle to get inspired bc i struggle to find ppl drawing Weird or Ugly art.

[skunkes]

feel like im so so so close to unlocking a higher level of thinking about art google search how to induce brain blast

[psystirene]

felt the inspiration to draw some COTL again and I wanted to get over my fear of giving the guys more anthro anatomy so. The return of yassified Lambson

Idk if it's ok to ping so I shan't but this is inspired by the way @/fanofthelamb draws their lamb bc it's one of my favoritessss <3

YAPPING BELOW THE READ MORE as per usual... also my old Nari design if you're tempted to see that. idk if i've ever posted it

I kind of fucked up cause I didn't want it to look like Lambson's body type changed significantly with or without wool but, I rly had a hard time with the anatomy of the main sketch for some reason so they're not as Chunky as they should be 😭

Anyways for fun- Even if I've posted it before- here's the over a year old og attempt at drawing a more anthro-esque Lambson, I really hated it when I drew it i thought it was scary and thought ppl would find it cringe.

it REALLY didn't capture Lambson's vibe and I struggle immensely with drawing sheep heads </3 But also this one kind of was meant to be overly cunty hence stuff like the collar being more of a choker than a thick collar. Obviously the art above has the thick collar

ermmmm apart from that if i have energy to draw more cotl (have not had much energy for ANYTHING bc I become a vat of slime as soon as summer comes around) I will redesign my Narinder bc I like some parts of it..

This one is really fucking old and back then I had not reconciled with the fact he was meant to be a cat, I think I was barely aware he was meant to be an actual animal so it looks insane.

But i think I want to keep the skeletal design and color palette bc those are kind of sick!!!!

Anyways YAP OVER!!! Ty fpr reading if you did. or looking at my pictures. muah

[apotelesmaa]

HELLO .WAIT. do you have more thoughts on wxs soul eater au i never considered combining the two even thiugh i am off the walls crazy about the,m

Oh I have. So many thoughts. You asking abt it even made me get up off my ass and draw again. Putting everything under the cut to avoid having a mile long post.

When I first had the idea I really struggled on who was a weapon/meister but after deciding on wanting to pair ruikasa/emunene up I was like tsukasa and emu need to be the meisters bc 1) it fits with them being the founding duo of wxs 2) I really wanted nene to be a gun 3) fitting tsukasa’s goals into the SE universe worked better if he was a meister. I elected to make rui a whip first and then I realized I could fit a bloodborne reference in there and reference becoming potatoes with the cane. I’m not entirely satisfied w the first pass at designs for the universe (not super close to the SE aesthetic, I cannot draw guns, I’m not very good at character design, etc) but i kind of tried to pull inspiration from:

- tsukasa and emu’s happy Phoenix costumes (split colors on tsukasa’s coat, tsukasa’s boots, the corset/bell sleeves/little cape thingie for emu)

- for tsukasa specifically: piano (b&w colors and stupid long coat tails), his second wxs costume

- emu: bc I drew her last and it was getting late I did less searching and more winging it but I did try to combine the style of her wxs costumes (shoes, dress, striped socks) & general darker Lolita (for lack of a better word) fashion.

- nene: her gaming event card (weird energy ball device thing? Which I would imagine functions similar to dtk’s shooting soul wave lengths thru the thompsons)

- rui: his ugly ass coat (fond) he wears as his first wxs costume. Also becoming potatoes cane handle thing. Him being a trick weapon (bloodborne term, essentially a weapon that can switch between two forms) also kind of lines up w him being a tech genius.

Ok done talking abt the designs onto the in universe stuff

- not basing any au story off the soul eater plot bc it didn’t work out very well (too many pjsk characters) (going with the main story wxs plot w a soul eater spin. Kinda. Gonna have to think abt that a bit.) but if I did mafuyu > crona, miku & the kagamines > dtk and the thompsons. Would that make cfm lord death. Emu would fill a similar role to maka with mafuyu in that situation but in general (besides the surface level similarities btwn tsukasa and black star) nene is too different from soul, emu is way too different from maka, and rui is literally NOTHING like tsubaki so I can’t justify just swapping out emunene/tsukasa with soul&maka/black star&tsubaki. No equivalent to that fucking cat in this universe. & the pjsk characters get to wear clothes when they’re in the weird place weapons’s bodies go when they’re transformed.

- idk maybe the regular soul eater plot is happening/will happen/has happened but this is the Japan branch (oceania branch in canon?).

- vocaloids are professors (not the kagamines. Forever babies.) but if there needs to be a lord death equivalent making that miku would be so funny. Also the normal vocaloid personalities and not the WXS ones for conveniences sake. Uhhh first thoughts for M/W would be meister miku, weapon meiko, meister kaito, luka can go either way tbh, kagamines are both weapons but are each other’s meister.

- similar to how rui did shows on his own for a really long time I think he was his own meister for a while (like Justin Law was). He doesn’t have many souls bc dwma in this universe at least pretends to give a fuck abt student safety so they don’t want to send him out alone on anything dangerous (despite his talent) and he can’t resonate soul wave lengths with most ppl bc they don’t get him. He ended up giving up on finding a meister when he was younger bc of this & just worked really hard on his own. He experiences a similar isolation from his peers that dtk did (ppl find him intimidating/envy at his skill/etc).

- equivalent of him transferring in to kamikou (? Spelling) second year is the kamishiros spending ~10 years in America. He’s still childhood friends w nene he just moved away after they drifted apart and then came back. Mizuki probably did something similar just 2 keep the mizuki & rui connection still there.

- tsukasa’s SE universe goal is to be the best meister - he wants to protect & help people (inspired by saki. I’ll get to that) but the equivalent of tsukasa forgetting he wanted to make ppl smile & believing he just wanted fame would be tsukasa believing he wants to be the best meister for fame/power.

- saki’s chronic illness is a result of black blood due to an incident w a kishin egg monster when she was younger. I think she would be a weapon but along with the canon typical chronic illness symptoms (not erasing those) she struggles for a long time w controlling her ability to change in and out of weapon form. Tsukasa & her *could* have been a m/w pair & have compatible soul wave lengths but 1) he’s overprotective and I think he realized he would not be able to fight without being too scared of getting her hurt 2) saki’s illness means she can’t really enroll in the dwma (yet. She gets there eventually.)

- nene was in the not classes before the plot picks up bc she didn’t think she had what it took to be a weapon. In universe equivalent to her forgetting her lines would maybe be freezing when she was supposed to transform during an important test when she was younger? Not baby age like in canon (bc I know the DWMA likes child soldiers but 7ish is a bit much even for them) but old enough to be taking classes & old enough to be put into not classes as a result. Im not reading SE NOT! to understand how those classes work though so thank god she gets out of those classes

- nene *is* a really powerful weapon she just lacks the confidence and struggles to resonate with people (& unlike rui she can’t wield herself)

- on that note emu can resonate with just about anyone but she hasn’t found anyone that felt right yet, and Tsukasa needs someone who can keep up w the intensity of his soul wave length and hasn’t found anyone who can do that yet.

- ^ similar to tsukasa being a piano prodigy or whatever in canon tsukasa *is* a really good meister, he just needs a really good weapon. Bc his peers would need more training to get to that level

- I toyed with making emu dtk adjacent (daughter of death) (bc PXL -> DWMA) but that would be too complicated with her brothers/dad/grandpa so I disregarded it. Maybe I’ll come back to it. I think it would make more sense for emu to come from a long line of really talented meisters so she grew up training for the job and running around the dwma.

- emu approaches tsukasa and is like we should work together!!! We’ll do better on missions and be able to take down harder kishin & maybe witches!! & he’s like sure why not every star needs a sidekick (obnoxious laugh) even though emu could kick his ass without breaking a sweat (in line with canon). & like the angel she is emu is like (ignores his pre main story dickheadedness) wonderhoy!! (Deathhoy?) okie dokie we need to find weapon partners then!! (bodily drags him to class)

- tsukasa sees rui training on his own and is like wow he’s really talented! Fitting for a future star like me! & approaches him to ask if they can pair up. Rui is like on the condition that you can find my friend a partner in your class (wants nene out of the not classes bc he thinks she’s far beyond that skill level). Emu jumps on the idea and is introduced to nene who is placed in the higher level courses to accommodate this partnership. Idc if that can’t happen in SE canon I think the Otoris have a lot of sway and any potential issues w nene being less powerful (not the case but it’s the assumption made abt not students) can be made up by emu’s skill.

- emu is instantly very taken with nene and they resonate well. I know what u are dot jpg. Rui & tsukasa can resonate but struggle to unlock their full potential (similar to soul and maka struggling with using the witch hunter form) bc tsukasa needs to realize what his real motivations are.

- tsukasa assumes nene has a low skill level at first (similar to his issues w nenerobo. God I wish I could think of a way to fit nenerobo in this au. sorry nenerobo) but is proven wrong when emu wields her.

- equivalent to the climax of the wxs main story in this is nene freezing again during an important mission and the group losing an important target -> tsukasa gets mad and yells at her -> rui fights w tsukasa over this and tells him that he’ll never be a good meister if he cares more about fame and power than people.

- tsukasa chats w the death scythe kaito & realizes the Error Of His Ways -> emu is considering dropping out bc she feels that she fucked up all of their futures as weapons/meisters by putting this into motion but tsukasa has the heart to heart with emu and they agree to continue being a team -> emu and nene partner back up -> they approach rui who has gone back to working solo and he refuses to partner back up w tsukasa

- idk what a good equivalent to the lonely alchemist show would be. Tsukasa and rui need to resonate & work together to help emunene because they’re in peril or something? & rui through the resonance realizes that tsukasa is genuine? Some sort of hand wavey plot device is used to resolve everything.

- I think that emu & rui and nene & tsukasa are also able to resonate and they do occasionally switch it up just for funsies. Emu and rui bc they just get along very well and nene & tsukasa argue with each other but can still function as a team.

- I don’t think that rui & nene can resonate because. Put down the pitchforks please. *Because* similar to their dynamic in pjsk despite their bond and their care for each other there’s a lot of baggage that needs to be worked through. Too many things left unsaid. Etc. they could probably achieve resonance later on but there’s not really a need to given that they’re both weapons and both have meisters.

- Rui thinks it’s a great training exercise to fight tsukasa “how do you expect to get better if you don’t try fighting against a weapon without a weapon… I’m just trying to help you… (fake crying)” “I’m already good at fighting without a weapon!! This is never going to be relevant knowledge anyways!!! You just want to fight me because you think it’s fun!!!!!!” “(switching manipulation tactics) Someone who wants to be a star would want to be prepared for any situation no matter how small the chance is of it happening” “hm…that’s true… ok let’s do it!!”

- cut to them in the nurses office. This is a weekly occurrence.

- emu also thinks it’s good practice to use tsukasa as moving target practice but this is less dangerous and more just continuing tsukasa’s never ending torment (he is a willing participant in said torment mind you)

- like in canon emu pulls nene out of her shell and hypes her up constantly which is huge in getting nene to have more confidence in herself and her abilities. It’s also incredibly helpful to have a meister who will never judge her for freezing and will always meet her halfway.

- also like in canon nene is very helpful with reeling emu in. She’s a very helpful voice of reason/impulse control but one that understands that even if emu’s ideas are unconventional they still have merit (even if they need to be refined a little)

- similar to the soul eater main cast having the self preservation skills of very small stupid suicidal animals hell bent on getting themselves injured or killed (Liz excluded), emu and Tsukasa are very prone to charging in to a situation w/out thinking. Tsukasa is more reasonable but unfortunately his weapon parter is not and rui usually cajoles tsukasa into doing stupid shit. Nene is suffering.

- maybe someday I’ll design rui & nene if I ever go back and refine these designs but I’m really lazy.

- not really sure how I would go around incorporating the wxs arcs into the soul eater universe with regards to PXL selling out and stuff. Making peace with the witches maybe? Something will probably come to me eventually.

- unlike atsushi ohkubo I’m not a terminally horny freak so there’s zero weird shit in this au.

- initial thoughts on the other units: minori(w)/haruka(weapon that chooses to be a meister) + airi(m)/shizuku(w), kohane(m)/an(w) + toya(weapon who was trained as a meister before deciding to be a weapon)/akito(m), mafuyu(m)/kanade(weapon… don’t make her exercise) + mizuki(w)/ena(m), leoneed swaps pairs frequently but shiho & izuka are meisters + saki and honami are weapons. Open to debate for most of these I haven’t given them much thought.

[kvetcher2]

i really appreciate your post about how people feel about their loved ones getting cosmetic surgery. These "this is so self centered"-replies honestly kinda shocked me. We are allowed to have emotions about the suffering of other people AND also EXPRESS these emotions, what the hell. I hate this policing of what thoughts and feelings you get and don't get to voice. If someone i love gets her features surgically altered i feel upset bc a) i love her and feel horrible about her apparently hating herself/her features so much that she's willing to take such a risk & spend so much money to change them b) i do wonder, if she hated this part of her face or body so much, and mine looks similar, does she also find me ugly? and c) i loved her face. it is a familiar, trusted face, to which i connect feelings and memories and that i would always recognize for the rest of my life, that i looked at for hours, that i maybe even grew up with and saw grow from a child to a unique woman's face. I get to be emotional about this??? lmao

Haven't we long acknowledged that our personal actions often have an impact on women as a whole? Similarly, but kinda the other way around, I continue to draw motivation to never pick up shaving again, despite being very insecure about my body hair, from there being the chance that another woman or girl will see my hairy ass legs (lol) and finally have a representation of a woman who actually leaves her natural bodies as it is. I draw inspiration from the fact that my personal choices can affect other peoples feelings, that i do carry a certain responsibilty. We are all humans, we have emotions and we also hold some power over other people's emotions! Also women who choose to go under the knife and literally risk their lives for an unnecessary procedure are not too fragile to hear the impact their actions have on their loved ones! There is a difference between guilt tripping or emotional blackmailing and letting your loved ones know how their struggles might also affect you! 10-ish years ago my back then friend asked me whether i was still self harming (i had stopped a couple months before that) and when i said no, she said that she was so glad to hear that, bc it broke her heart so much when she learned i did that and she would hate if i still did. And that just gave me a completely new perspective that i had never thought about before. I hope this ramble made any kind of sense to you, english isn't my first language but i really wanted to tell you that YOUR POST IS GOOD! <3

It is ok to talk about our feelings on fucking tumblr, also not every post needs a disclaimer like "this is a highly nuanced topic with a gazillion different viewpoints" blablabla omg some ppl need to chill for once. have a nice day <3

thank you <3 really did not expect the original post to take off or I would have added a bit more nuance but seriously I do think some people on here just want to add their pithy one liners and then get angry and embarrassed when we treat that as an invitation to have an actual dialogue. aaand on the other hand a lot of people seem to think that adding comments to it re-stating exactly what I already wrote is somehow necessary. but hey just another day on tumblr.edu

[wiltkingart]

hey wilt 🌈 been going thru ur account this morning (apologies for possibly spamming ur notifs with likes etc) and I know you get so many of these messages but like. Idk how to communicate to you how incredible your art is. You said somewhere that colour is possibly one of the weakest parts about your art and I was like. Stunned. Bc the way you use colour .... 👀🤯😱🥵🥴🔥🔥🔥 Like. I have somewhat of a background in art history and your work feels like it could really comfortably sit alongside Michaelangelo (also bc he was gay hehe) etc. Like. Idk. Do you realise how incredible your work is???? I'm shaking you. It's literally like. Wow. I mean you must know from the other messages bc the power it has to inspire ppl to read certain media or draw things or even start hrt. Anyway. I'm shocked to my core and forever changed after this morning even tho I've been following you for a long while. I hope this doesn't come across as like patronising (the bit where I ask if you realise how good you are) bc that's not my intention at all I'm just like. In awe and basking in the glow of your brilliance and I have a really complex relationship with making art myself and almost never use colour for many reasons but I feel So inspired to make after looking at your work which is really rare for me. Idk. Your work is joyful, glittering, maddening, hopeful, inspiring, beautiful etc etc etc etc. So much love to you I hope 2023 is being good to you so far 💓💓💓💖💞

not patronizing at all! i actually haven't felt the greatest about my art lately because my health has been hanging onto the edge of a gutter. it can be exhausting to keep fighting back negative thoughts alongside other physical issues. but i know these thoughts aren't true, and i'm hanging in there. through force of will i'm getting through it :') (and starting new meds soon!)

when i say color is my weakest element i mean that it's the part i struggle the most with. i don't have a solid grasp on how it works, so i have to rely on intuition and lately i've been using more references. i feel the most limited by color due to my shaky understanding of it. it takes a lot of time and experimentation with every piece to find something that feels good. but color is a very complex element! and i can only get better thru time and perseverance, and trying to absorb as much information as i can from the refs i use.

i don't think i'll ever have a scientific understanding of color or even enough solid ground to be someone who can make tutorials or explain it to other people. but on the flipside that means i can keep using colors i like even if that means they don't make sense. there's a charm in the unnatural! there's expression in existing outside the rules! as long as i keep taking risks and keep my mind open to learning, and use colors that make me smile, i'll be alright.

thanks for the incredibly kind message, it was very unexpected especially since i haven't posted much art for a long time. i'm hopeful that spring will be a good time for me. well wishes to you and yours, and i hope that creation can become a source of freedom for you rather than complexity. if the rules don't make sense, make your own <3

[purplesunrisefanfic]

This is not the type of post I normally write and I won’t make a habit of it.

I had no idea how to write this post. This post is inherently problematic and I acknowledge that, but I ask that you do take the time to read it because I honestly believe that this is one of those times where it’s better to be problematic than silent. I am autistic and that’s where I’m coming from here. I can’t speak for Black autistic people but I have tried my best to ensure that I am speaking up for Black autistic people to the best of my ability.

I’m sorry there isn’t a read more, the mobile app and site on Tumblr does not do that.

I’m very worried by some of the generalisations I’ve seen being reblogged all over the place about what people should and should not in terms of grieving Chadwick Boseman and how they may be impacting some disabled Black people.

For example, I have seen posts that are very hardline about how it’s “wrong” to think/feel/say “T’Challa has died” as opposed to saying “Chadwick Boseman has died” and I have also seen posts that categorically denounce anyone who might want to react by writing fanfiction about T’Challa dying. There are other examples but I will use those two so that there are not too many.

I suspect that many of these comments were aimed at sketchy white people but they didn’t say so and that worries me. It worries that there is problem where allistic (non-autistic) and otherwise neurotypical people are failing to recognise that assuming everyone will know what you mean and/or that Black people will know it isn’t aimed at them is an ableist concept. One of the key problems people with autism face is that allistic people are often as bad as knowing what autistic people will or won’t assume or find obvious as we are when the shoe is on the other foot.

I’m not saying that some Black autistic and otherwise neurodiverse Black ppl won’t find it obvious that certain posts are implied to be addressed towards white people, because some will. But not everyone will. When it comes to autism, if you don’t say exactly and precisely what you mean then you cannot guarantee that the exact and precise thing you mean will be understood.

There are children on this platform. Are you sure you wanna say mass generalisations about how it’s wrong to do this, worry about that, think this way, express yourself that way and so forth on a platform where grieving Black children might see it? Where Black autistic children and adults might feel shamed or inferior (once again) because there’s a ton of notes on a post telling them that the way they think or feel or express themselves while grieving is wrong?

Don’t make any of these generalisations, please. Go back and rethink your posts, edit them, say what you mean. I’m not trying to be a white person inserting myself into this issue because I’m butthurt about posts calling out the shitty behaviour of white people. No, actually, it’s kinda the opposite, I’m butthurt because some of you forget to say “white people” when you needed to say “white people” I’m butthurt bc I know a lot of people think it’s okay to assume that everyone in a marginalised group always “gets it.” That idea hurts autistic people who are in another marginalised group. That idea is ableist. A person’s Blackness is not contingent on their ability to read neurotypical social rules. Do not assume that every single Black person knows instinctively that your post is aimed at white people being dicks who only care about Marvel, useless you actually say something like “Dear white people being dicks who only care about Marvel.” Yes, most people tend to “get it.” But unless you say “white people” you are the taking the risk that an autistic Black person won’t get that subtext. Please don’t take that risk when you the consequence could be that you effectively tell a Black autistic/neurodiverse people that they are grieving wrong.

I cannot think of many people out there that will be worse off for today’s news than Black autistic people for whom Chadwick, Black Panther, Marvel or superheroes in general is a special interest. I cannot put into words how much is at stake for the adults and children to whom that description applies. Some of these people may not be able to separate their mental concept of Chadwick Boseman and their mental concept of T’Challa in the way the average person does. They are not wrong, they are not lesser. They have nothing to be ashamed of. The last thing they deserve to see today is ill-thought grief-shaming generalisations that tell them aren’t respecting their hero properly.

Please check your posts, amend your posts, clarify and specify everything. If you wanna call out white people doing a thing say “white people,” if you wanna call out doing a thing in the context of having a shitty motive, call that out specifically. Explicitly say that doing X for Y reason is wrong because Y is a shitty motive. Explicitly say that the problem is Y motive. Or if it’s that the thing is okay to do privately, but some people are doing it inconsiderately and that’s hurting you, say “It’s inconsiderate to do X in this way. If you are doing X, please [specify how they can do it in a way that doesn’t harm others].” If you’re not sure how to communicate in a manner that is autism friendly, you can ask me and I’ll try to help.

Somewhere along the way I forgot to keep saying “autistic/neurodiverse,” every time and just said autistic sometimes. I’m sorry for that. So for the avoidance of doubt, this applies to anyone, diagnosed or undiagnosed/not yet diagnosed with any element of the differences I’ve talked about it, not just autism.

And to anyone of the people out there that I’m trying to talk about: How you think, how you feel, and how you process things is valid. If all you can think about today, tomorrow and maybe for a while is your fears about the future for T’Challa, that’s fine. More than fine, it’s a reflection of a way of thinking and perceiving that the world would be WORSE OFF without. If you write fanfiction about T’Challa to process your emotions then that’s okay too. Those are just two examples, the same goes pretty much across the board, however you express yourself. And actually most creative people tend to be glad to inspire other people to be creative, so if I had to bet on it, I’d bet that Chadwick Boseman would more likely than not be glad to see you writing.

If someone wants to take this rough point and write it better, please, please do. Ngl, I’m struggling with this, this is my best attempt at making these points but I’m not convinced it’s as good it ought to be. Please @ me if you do, bc I’d be glad to know.

And I’m fresh out of everything right now but here are some notes that I should add:

No one is exempt from considering autistic people, but that said I highly suspect it’s probably white people who are perpetuating a lot of this stuff, maybe even authoring it.

Every Black autistic person is inherently/fundamentally valuable regardless of their “contribution” to society, but also Black autistic people as a whole are valuable to society. The world would be shittier with Black Autistic people.

I’m a white autistic person trying to draw inferences and look out for other autistic people as best I can but I cannot and do not speak for Black autistic people. Raise their voices if you can.

[queenofthefaces]

kyle for the character thing!!!!

Buckle up bc I’m extra af and love talking abt characters. Be aware this is like, entirely personal opinion and personal interpretation and also it’s almost 2am so LETS GO

1) sexuality hc: I’ve always really liked bi Kyle ahsjdkfk and tbh I’ve always found the idea of his attraction to other ppl really interesting

The way I characterize him is that he’s someone who’s like, typically very passive with his attraction. He’ll kind of glance at someone and think they’re attractive but he doesn’t necessarily have any strong feelings towards them or desire/drive to want to pursue anything with them. If he does want to pursue them it’s usually out of a sense of obligation or expectation—like a “well I might as well” or “this is what I’m supposed to do” kinda thing

Except Kyle DOES have exceptions—when he finds someone he feels passionately about, someone he’s emotionally and mentally invested in, it’s like 0-100 in terms of difference, bc suddenly he can’t stop thinking abt that person, how much he wants to be with them, etc. and a lot of that characterization, for me, falls in line w the specific ship I have for Kyle (which is obvious if you’ve followed me for a few but I’ll get Into That in the next section)

2) OTP: KYMAN by far my fave Kyle ship and one of my all time fave sp ships overall. I’ve always LOVED rivals/enemies to lovers ships that specifically have 1) characters who are equals 2) characters who are incredibly intimate and close w one another even if (or because of) it’s in the context of the rivalry 3) the characters have either some level of co-dependence or a need for the dynamic or one another in some way bc the relationship is fulfilling to them and bonus if 4) they’re the only ones that really understand each other

And I jus. Love that. Esp w kyman it’s so much fun taking that dynamic, the codependency and obsession, and just. Playing with it, on a storytelling/character analysis level. And then making it healthy, having them work through issues, bc the idea that “we’re both in way too deep with each other, we can either destroy each other or learn to get along” is jus 👌👌👌

And w kyman I love having Eric be Kyle’s exception. Kyle feels basically nothing towards his other s/o’s in contrast to how deeply he feels about Eric, and for Eric to have just as much depth of emotion in return. It’s fascinating and really fun esp when written from a kind of duo-redemptive story—they both start out toxic towards each other, and their relationship is toxic to other people, but they can’t bring themselves to put an end to it so they finally make it to that middle ground and come out as better peoole, together

This applies to a lot of my rivals/enemies to lovers ships but w kyman in particular there’s the added Funkiness of the childhood friends dynamic which is TASTEY like some nice sprinkles to jus add that extra Flavour. I love the concept of Kyle and Eric forming parts of their entire identities around each other from the time they were in diapers and everyone accepts that they’re always gonna he crazy for each other bc no one has the bond they do it’s so much fun

4) brotp: I should think more abt Kyle friendships tbh I don’t give those as much attention ahsjdkfkfk—tho I definitely have a soft spot for the super best friends kyle + Stan, I just have to work some development into it.

I love exploring their friendship as smth that deteriorates bc they grow apart as people, but then they realize they don’t WANT to grow apart and have to work to stay friends bc being friends isn’t as easy as it was when you were 8. It brings this really cool development that confronts Stan’s passivity towards his friends/his nihilism and Kyle’s entitlement and lack of emotional sensitivity and how they both need to make some compromises (but esp Kyle, bc I can see Stan as someone who tries very hard to not get much feedback).

In terms of Kyle being friends w other people I’m thinking it would be pretty situational. I can see Kyle getting some really eye opening perspectives from other ppl if he opens himself up to their views but that requires knocking Kyle down a few pegs lol, it’s fun to have him learn to recognize his own assumptions abt ppl and learning to value them as individuals yanno?

3) notp: honestly? Any other kyle ship. I can personally only see Kyle w Eric ahsjdkfk kyman endgame all the way. For me, a lot of other Kyle ships like, don’t make any sense, a lot in part bc I see Kyle as someone who has a lot of issues w socialization, entitlement, and selfishness along with his UNENDING OBSESSION w Eric Cartman (which also somewhat stems from those issues bc of Kyle’s sense of self identity vis a vis the rivalry)

Like, I can’t see Kyle sitting down and forming a meaningful romantic relationship w anyone else bc like, no one can provide the fulfillment, engagement, drive, and push/pull of Kyle’s relationship w Eric. Kyle would leave at the drop of a hat to confront smth Eric was doing and I don’t think he’d ever compromise with that. And someone who does compromise on that probably isn’t someone Kyle would want to be with in the long run.

I think the only ship I can see would be like, poly m4 bc that draws on pre-existing dynamics and doesn’t break or try to divy up Kyle’s attention. (Even tho like I said I don’t like Kyle w anyone else romantically)

5) 1st hc that pops in my head: my Kyle is autistic as fuck. Characterizing him as autistic gives a lot of insight into how his mind works and why he acts the way he does—a lot of his thought processes are just. What makes the most logical sense to him. It’s just that those trains of thought are on KYLES logic and that’s when he struggles to realize when he’s crossed a line or overstepped a boundary. Or how his brain is usually always “self-centered”—not in a morally negative way, just in that it’s not a natural reflect for him to remember other people.

And a ton of other things as well( including a fun hc of Kyle trying to use his autism as an excuse for being a dick, until Also Autistic Craig steps up like, no dude you’re just an asshole bc you’re not trying to do better). And bc as an autistic person, I really relate hard to Kyle to the point where if he were real I’d probably hate him bc we’d be too similar lmao; I think esp when I was a kid I acted a lot like Kyle—the self righteousness, the bossiness, the belief that my way was the only way that made sense and everyone else was just Wrong, the anger issues, etc.

It’s why I’m tough on Kyle a lot of the time, but it’s also why I love thinking abt his development, bc I know firsthand that he can mellow out, change, become a better, more wellrounded and emotionally aware person, and how he can make an effort into doing so

6) oh shit I didn’t even mean for this but obviously one way I relate to Kyle is the Above autistic hc and how I characterize him. Like I said, I acted a LOT like Kyle when I was a kid, so I know he’s an irritating little shit, but also brilliant and too thoughtful for his own good sometimes.

But another thing: I characterize Kyle as someone who is a natural leader, but hates being in official leadership positions. And this is also smth I’ve kinda written due to personal experience. But also from the way kyles often portrayed in canon—in the games, he’s always a support role, always a healer, ranged fighter, or someone who boosts and buffs allies

I see Kyle as the type of person who can easily take control in, for example, a group project situation, or when he’s hanging out with Stan and they’re only doing what Kyle wants to do bc Kyle comes up with all the ideas and Stan just goes along with them

But I can’t see Kyle as someone who’d want to be, like, student counsel president. (That’s more Wendy’s wheelhouse) Mostly bc there’s too much responsibility that it’s just exhausting, and more than that, those official positions are STIFLING. They run on someone else’s schedule and they’re creatively constructive. You can’t fully do your own thing bc you have to be constantly aware of how the group works and what the group wants. I can’t see Kyle as being happy in that position bc he’d get sick of having to conform his ideas to what other ppl want—he just wants to do his own thing.

So instead, Kyle would be more comfortable in a supporting role. Bc in a position like, for example, secretary or VP, he can still have a lot of influence, power, and knowledge, but he’s free from those restrictions that come from being the face of a group. And he’s also free from the social obligations of being a leader, esp in having to deal w other groups in like a business sort of way. AND if the group falls, Kyle won’t take as much of the blame, bc it’s probably not his fault anyways so why should everyone point fingers at him. It’s much less pressure.

(And it’s also kinda inspired by his role in the CBAA??—Cartman’s perfect in the CEO/face of the company position bc Cartman is comfortable with and relishes in the attention and social aspect of being the face/leader of a company, and Kyle can reap all the benefits of being a part of that company, including being an integral pillar of the company, w/o the deficits. If Eric and Kyle ran a company they’d work together, sure, but Eric would crumble without Kyle’s support, and Kyle would hate the stifling pressure of the head position, which makes them a perfect pair.)

(And again this is based on personal experience—I’m a natural leader. People listen to me, I can organize groups, and I’m a good mediator, but I hate when it becomes Official bc I can’t just. Do my own thing as I want to and it’s far too much to keep track of and most of it doesn’t interest me. It always irritated me when my parents tried to push me into like running for student president bc I just kept thinking abt all the work I’d have to do that I wouldn’t care abt)

7) what gives me secondhand embarrassment about Kyle? Well. Just......how much he reminds me of when I was a stupid kid. He’s such a little shit oh my god Kyle shut the fuck up YOURE NOT GHANDI. When Kyle’s being entitled and stuck up, when he thinks he’s better than other ppl, and when his own big mouth and pride are what fucks him over I’m just oh my god. Oh my GODDDDDD SHUT UPPPPP.

Mostly it’s secondhand embarrassment bc I’m jus oh my god ur an idiot—but again bc I know he has the ability to grow out of that and look back on himself with a grimace at how dumb he was ahsjdkfkfk

8) cinnamon roll or problematic fave? Definitely the latter, I love Kyle and I love when he’s happy and contented but him as a cinnamon roll kinda character feels so flat to me. I love him as a problematic fave he’s so much fun as a disaster. He’s complex—he’s tough and caring and angry and compassionate and an absolute fireball of EMOTIONS but he tries to act like he’s a logical rational person and I jus? He’s so much more fun and dynamic when he’s allowed to be messy

(Of course this is long why wouldn’t it be AHSJDKDKKFKGLGLH)

[the-little-prophet]

BDRP Questionnaire 2019

Posting this on Charlie since I actually talked about him quite a bit! Let’s gooooo

Characters: Berlioz, Hades, Kiara, Nala, Andrina, Merida, Charlie, Apollo, John, Su, Ashleigh, Nemo, Jun

Pick one of your characters and talk about their growth (we recommend choosing an older character, but it’s up to you!) What about their story has surprised you? What are you proud of? How have they changed from their original inception to now?

This one goes out to Charlie. I pitched Charlie very deceptively-- claiming he was a prophet, aligning him, at first, with Calliope, making it look like Charlie’s magic was of the classical, Cassandra-inspired kind. But all along, I knew that what I wanted Charlie to be was more of this sci-fi/fantasy blend as an homage to his movie’s sci-fi bend too. This year, I got to actually reveal that Charlie is a time traveler after two years!! This is very exciting for me! I’ve enjoyed being able to lean into Charlie’s new image systems with this reveal, even though I’m out of my depth and breaking like 67 different time travel rules, probably lol. Still, it’s been great to take him to that place, and to invent Future-Charlie as both a deux ex machina and an expression of identity/choice/free will etc etc. I did not have Future-Charlie in mind when I created Charlie, so that was something I was proud of coming up with!

Pick another character and talk a little about where you WANT them to go. What are your plans for them going into the new year?

I’m going to talk about Nemo if only because everyone else feels like a spoiler lol. Nemo, as a relatively new character though, is still full-speed-ahead on his initial goals that I outlined for him in his application. Now that Nemo’s been established in the school and he has this little group of buddies, I want:

To focus on his wing. I want Nemo to push himself, get himself in a spot of trouble, potentially injure himself.

Reveal his wings to at least one mundus friend

Continuing to infuse his posts with body image issues. This is a slow build kind of plot that really is like...the broth of Nemo’s plot-soup, lol, while training for his placement is the chicken and belonging at school is the noodles….it needs to be this throughline more than like, para a, para b, para c. at least for now.

Pick a thread or a plot that you’re proud of and talk about why you loved it.

I could pick a lot of threads here lol it’s honestly so HARD. But I think I want to shout-out to the Charlie/Jim first kiss thread because it surprised even me and Hannah. We initially planned for the first kiss to be just that-- one kiss, then we done, Jim and Charlie go on to be friends. But like in the best of cases, Jim and Charlie’s palpable chemistry actually informed more of Charlie’s arc and opened up avenues previously closed to me/Charlie since Charlie had been so SHUT to the idea of love. So! I really loved that thread. Also because like, I literally made Charlie experience the big bang after his first kiss. And THAT’S the BEST way to use magic in my opinion. Like when you can infuse magic with an emotional catharsis-- I think the other time I did that super well was similar actually, when Herc kissed Kiki’s cheek and she grew a tree in his room lol. So yeah! Some of my best writing in that thread, amazing chemistry, big surprises. It was an absolute pleasure.

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 strengths and talk about why you think it’s one of your strengths.

-Image systems. I dragged myself for this, but I think it’s something that really helps me find a character’s voice and make myself excited to RP them! Also, I think it’s what people like about my writing sometimes. Maybe. IDK, lol. -Complex Emotion: I’m stealing this from my mentor who said I’m good at creating complex emotion and so you know its true. My most introverted characters get the bulk of this naturally--they are introspective and feely and give themselves the space to think and feel. But I really want to try to inject more into my extroverted characters. I think I’m doing well for Nemo, who had undiagnosed anxiety and so that informs a lot of his personality in very interesting-- very OPPOSITE-- ways as Berlioz; Nemo struggles with being alone because ‘alone’ means he gets too in his head. That’s been really fun for me and why he’s quickly become one of my fave voices to write (I know, u all thought it was because I am in love with Jimin (true), but no its bc Nemo is an anxious, big feeling baby and he’s always so Alive to me, plus i was made to write a fairy it was always my destiny.)

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 areas of improvement.

-Dialogue: PERSONALLY I feel like I’m not great at dialogue. Some posts are better than others and I think I’m good at like…..texting dialogue? IDK. I feel like I struggle in paras though to craft good dialogue. It’s just, rn, average dialogue. Of course not every post needs to have hilarious, punchy, great dialogue. But do my characters sound different? Am I doing all I can to create rhythm and speech patterns? -Filtering: Im being very picky rn, because actually I don’t do this too much, but I do it enough where I’m like, I gotta go read some really stellar writers adn ban myself from using “Feel” and “think” for like a whole month. What I’m talkinga bout is like: Ber realized/ Ber thought / Ber knew. That kind of writing is totally fine, but that’s about it. I need to come up with more creative ways to talk about feelings and abstract concepts!!!

-Character: I know everyone is probably like………….how dare lauryl put this here. But listen. I don’t think I struggle with character on RP. But outside of RP? Oh boy! The THING about RP is you MUST create a character, that’s your vessel for writing here, and so you do all that development plus u got the four years of worldbuilding informing that character, and literally EVERYTHING CHARACTER DRIVEN ITS...THERE IS NO OTHER WAY.  Outside of RP though I think I have struggled because my natural affinity is worldbuilding and shit like that. I’m type 5 baby, I am attracted to characters who let me poke at things I don’t know anything about, like even Jun, part of it really is like, petitions and grocery store management lmfadsofij. SOOOo idk I just need to be able to focus on crafting characters that are compelling vessels for the cool shit I like to do outside of RP.

Pick one of your plots, or even just a character, and come up with a list of 3-5 “mentor texts” where you can look for inspiration or research, then write a short (2-4 sentences) why you picked those texts. JOHN DARLING BREAKS INTO FAERYLAND 1. Call Down the Hawk/Raven Cycle: It’s no coincidence that my reread of Raven Cycle last winter played a pretty big part in inspiring this new version of John. The descriptions of the magical forest Cabeswater and the hunt for Glendower have the same kind of contemporary fantasy vibe that I really like for John. And of course, Ronan’s dream magic is very much intertwined with the faery realm feeling like a dream (and Ashleigh, obviously, as a dark faery who can manipulate them). More than that though, the attention paid to the psyches of each character and how they drive the plot forward is just… /chefs kiss. 2. The Mabinogian: I want to draw from these classic Welsh/British stories and incorporate them in creative ways! Or just as, like, motifs are something. :) I have tried to do this but would like to be a lot more intentional, instead of just being like lmao let me look up some random shit for this one reply~ 3. The Hazel Wood: This book deals with characters coming into the real world from a book world! This kind of goes along with the Mabinogian as I kind of ish want to do something similar, only treating the Mabinogian as a historical, cultural text as opposed to a fiction. This book also focuses a lot on fairy tale tropes (like numbers) which I really want to incorporate in John’s stuff. I want to ideally write some of my own fairy tales-- I have one in mind actually through Ashleigh but it’s related to John too since he’d the scholar of said stories.  

And now, a wishlist!

-Exploring Nemo’s disability. This is slightly challenging for me since we don’t have many fairies, but I’m brainstorming some ideas and hope to really kick it off in January, leading up to his Talent Placement Test.   -I really want to have a lot of town-centric plots for Jun. Would love to rp with the police officers! I want to have Jun try to get some ppl arrested tbh ahah, like, Fflew for loitering, or maybe reporting Mitte. I would love some arch nemeses tbh-- Mitte does seem like a good one. AND I want to submit at least three petitions next semester!! Maybe i should make that two!! Still!! -Do some Bonfamille plots. I already have something I’m really excited about and have already planned here so this is a teaser… -Keep writing essays. The fairies have been great, getting me really inspired to do these.What’s been an amazing mental exercise, and why I cannot stop writing these, is thinking about how the political philosophy of Pixie Hollow informs how it functions: technically, socioculturally etc. It’s really fun for me to basically build a communist thought project and then enact it for real. I feel like I’m learning a lot about...well, societies, lol, and how the material factors endlessly bleed into, and shape, ideas and beliefs (and vice versa). Also, I literally have to do these because when Nemo is IN the Hollow and I want to write him getting a glass of water, I’m faced with a lot of technical questions: do fairies have running water? Does he have to get it from a stream? How do they keep things cool? Etc etc. And that’s why I go off on these, and I’m excited to keep doing them, as many as I can, with feedback from my fellow fairies. Also, do want to do ones that are NOT fairy related, so we’ll see about that. -Write John backstory. He’s gone on a few other adventures and I’d like to actually one-shot those maybe lol. -Alternate Charlie Timeline: This is something that’s bopping around in my head and I haven’t found the perfect way to make it happen, but I want Charlie to travel to an alternate version of his life and get stuck. When I figure out the right way to do this, my partners will also get to rp alternate versions of their characters lol. That’s fun right!! Of course it is, we do it all the time with AUs, but this one obvi be more personal and more closely tied to canon.

OPTIONAL: Why do you RP? First and foremost, I RP because it’s writing for the sake of writing-- joy for joy. I think this is even more important this year as I’ve had to focus on mentorship writing outside of RP. RP became the place where I didn’t have to think so hard about making everything make sense, lol. It gave my brain a break so I could be less judgmental of myself and just have fun and do the most ridiculous stuff...and some of my fave stuff iS ridiculous because of that...like Nemo and Sindri making flower crowns or the ASC nonsense. It’s this kind of light, fluffy, low-stake (but still High Stake) stuff that provided me endless joy when I needed it the most. Second of all, I RP because I really want to invest in people’s creative energy. I think doing so gives back to myself. Building canon, helping people brainstorm, seeing people grow-- I feel like a proud mom when I get to have this kind of mentorship role myself. I talked to MK about this, but even though Sam left to go off and do greater things, that’s like-- to me, it was a lot like he was graduating from this weird BDRP school I’ve helped create. I felt nothing but pride and happiness for him and really felt like, if BDRP was to explode tomorrow, I ACHIEVED the thing I set out to do when, four years ago, I sat on my computer and drafted BDRP’s mission and vision and committed myself to this admin role. And THAT’S what I want ideally-- for BDRP to be this collaborative place that doesn’t focus too much on what makes sense, on sitewide plots that force people into roles. I have always wanted plots like ASC and John’s search for Excalibur to be able to exist side by side, and I think we’ve done that. Now we just have to tend this garden, don’t we, haha? May BDRP bear many delicious fruit.

[leftnipsdoodles]

almost got ‘em all! thanks everyone for asking! answers are below~

1. What age did you begin getting into art? Why did you get into it? hmmmmm im gonna try to answer this as interestingly as i can. so ive been drawing all my life and i think it was just bc a) there was always art supplies lying around and b) i just had so many things in my head and wanted a way to express them or just get them out. like when i played with my toys i was always completely quiet bc i was imagining everything in my head. sound/speech/words just weren’t as interesting to me as a way to put my thoughts out there as visuals were. also i rly liked ranma 1/2 and wanted to draw it.

4. Do you make merchandise? Favorite kind of merch to make? i don’t. i did think about making charms once, even if just for myself. you know, those cute, chibi-esque ones everybody makes? then i remembered i couldn’t draw sth cute if you put a gun to my head.

5. Who/what are your art inspirations? I listed some of my favorite artists the last time i answered questions like this so i guess this time i’ll go with the ‘what’ rather than the ‘who’. to me, the most inspiring thing are atmospheres. it could be a garbage container with 1000 stickers stuck and half-way teared down on it. the way the colors and rips in the stickers look and how it adds to the mood of the location. or sometimes it’s listening to a certain song at a certain time in a certain place that creates a unique mood and inspires you. but looking at art has never been an inspiration. so there’s that.

6. What is something (a technique, behaviorism, etc.) that you do with drawing that you think is unique to you?

ok but in seriousness, i don’t think there’s anything. any uniqueness comes from a lack of skill and knowledge so i don’t think it’s worth mentioning. like what do you even want me to say?? that i edit pictures i drew in clip studio in ms paint?? bc i do.

7. Describe your style. What would you change? neither here nor there. i feel like you can tell i’m a bit scatterbrained bc my drawings always look like they were done without any kind of direction lmao.. in general, i’d like to draw more realistically. i’d like to look at my own drawings and think ‘this pose looks rly natural, the way the clothes fit, the way the face looks, the perspective, the way this character interacts with the environment; it all looks right’. i’d also like to be able to use colors better but it’s hard when you struggle to name more than 3.

8. How do you get out of an art block? well, usually, I don’t. i’m pretty sure i’ve been in one for the past 3 years or so lmao (lamenting my anguish online) but i’ve been told that just working through it is the best way to go. just drawing. even if you hate everything. future you will thank you for it, bc you’ll probably be learning things while doing so, even if you can’t see it at that moment.

9. Does your style reflect who you are visually or your personality? both tbh. if you saw a pic of myself next to a drawing of proto danny you’d definitely see a resemblance in a way. (things like the clothes i draw him in are a given i think. ive probably drawn 90% of my wardrobe at this point) but my personality too. the things i spend more time on while drawing, the colors i choose, the mood in my drawings. that’s all a part of me. im pretty sure my oc tags are fairly accurate documentation of my mood swings and general attitude towards life throughout time lmao also, this thing i summed up in my tags a few years ago

10. What do you find easiest about drawing? getting the ideas for it

11. What do you find hardest about drawing? actually drawing said ideas. look, the moment i sketch the idea down it’s already 50% worse than i imagined it, then when i go to actually draw the thing it turns into sth so bad that i can’t even come up with a forced joke about the scenario. but anyway, lately the thing that scares me the most about drawing (and why i can hardly do it) is heads. heads heads heads. faces faces faces. i just cant do it man lmao

12. Is art part of your career or a hobby? What is your goal with art in life? my goal is to get a better hobby and to never have to return to drawing ever again. but that’s wishful thinking. i guess it’ll always stay my biggest hobby but i’d consider my life a failure if it ever turned into a career.

13. Advice to give to beginning artists? draw your ideas. never limit your creativity bc you don’t have the skill to express it to its full extent. a crappily drawn picture that conveys a cool idea or creates a cool atmosphere is just as good as an expertly crafted painting that has a lame subject. there’s a reason ppl admire the mona lisa but would rather read 90s manga than stare at that portrait all day. god. i guess motivational speaker is another career that’s out of the question lmao but you get what i mean!!

14. Advice to give to your artist peers?

also don’t take advice from me.

15. What have you drawn recently that you are proud of? ‘recent’ is relative, and so is ‘proud’, but i still rly like how this pic turned out. i just feel like it looks very decided, like i knew what i wanted to do and did it (i didn’t)

16. Show something you drew in the past that shows your improvement. 2017 - 2011

ahh tbh.. looking at this i don’t feel like i’ve improved a lot at all lmao..

17. Show something you drew in the past you’re still proud of. this pic might just be one of my favorites i’ve ever drawn. it’s still alright art-wise and it’s probably the most from-the-heart thing i’ve drawn so obviously, i have a soft spot for it lmao but i also just found this again and i still love it, even tho it’s ugly. also this bone which, infamously, is my crowning achievement

you know what i find funny rn? that it’s hard for me to decide which pic to choose for this question. i mean i went through my old art and cringed a LOT but there’s so many pics that im rly fond of, now that i’ve gained some distance to them. i wonder if it’ll be like that with the stuff i draw now, too.

19. Share a tutorial or reference that helped you. nothing concrete but i’ll mention ‘blind drawing’ again. it helped me get a different feel for the lines i’m drawing and, theoretically, would have made me better at drawing from life too

20. Plug time! Where else can followers find you? in the woods around 3am. don’t make eye contact.

[incendavery]

gosh, thank you! that is so sweet??? I hope you (and any other of my followers who celebrate!) have/had a very happy Eid!💖 💕

on another note, I’ve finally gotten around to cleaning out my askbox! under the cut is almost every ask I’ve gotten that i haven’t answered in the past.... I’m not sure. it’s been a WHILE though.

as a warning, there’s all sorts of stuff, and it’s all untagged! also also, if you sent one of these asks and want me to remove it, just let me know!

yes!! @fuckaspunk IS super sweet and talented and i AM very lucky to have them! and I’ve heard from reliable sources that the feeling is mutual~~💕

i’m glad my comics make you feel less alone; that’s a rough situation you’re in. i really hope you find yourself in a better environment soon!

thank you!!!💕

thank you for understanding! and yes, aidan is a huge help to me??? even when they’re not answering asks, they’re always supporting me in some way, whether that’s making sure I’ve eaten enough, or talking me through my anxiety, or all the other ways they’re there for me every single day���💕

ok, my tips are!!:

draw as much as possible! even if it’s just lines and shapes with no meaning, you’re still developing your hand/eye skills

BUT: dont draw if you’re not feeling it! if you’re feeling fried, it’s better to take a break. go on a walk to somewhere scenic, read your favorite book, listen to some new music, hang out with friends, or just take a nap! rest up and find some inspiration! you can come back to your sketchbook when you feel energized again

draw stuff that you like! you’ll improve way faster if you’re passionate about what you’re doing

look at art you like with a critical eye. try to examine the different components and figure out what you think works or doesn’t work. try incorporation those components into your own work

read a lot of tutorials and other resources, but take what they say with a grain of salt

ultimately, remember that the only real rule to drawing is that doing it should make you happy

good luck!! i do my best not to pick, but it’s a real struggle; i have lots of scars from it too. ;v; im cheering for you!!!

ALWAYS!!!! if you do, please show me!! my notifications get real busy, but anyone is welcome to IM me any time!

thank you! i actually get very worried about my style; i tend to admire artists with complex linework and delicate shading, so i often feel my style is far to simple! so thank you!!

that is really high praise????? gosh??!?!?!? best of luck with the next three years; i hope you grow to be someone you like even better than me!

thank you!!

peanut time is the best!! i haven’t gotten to do a proper one in a while though ;-; i’ve mostly been feeding the crows on my way back home from night shifts, when i give them the reject eggs from the continental breakfast.

wow, neat!! chickens are so wonderful; i cont wait until i can have some of my own :>

dont be nervous! i know i can be hard to get ahold of over the internet (bc i get overwhelmed easily) and hard to talk with irl (bc i get so nervous and interacting w ppl doesn’t come naturally to me AT ALL) but honestly i?? love making new friends??!

thank you!!? im thankful every day that someone as radient as aidan is in my life for the long haul

thank you!!!!!!!💕

i completely feel that? its ok to hit rough patches! just do your best!!

i dont remember what i felt bad about but THANK YOU💕💕

honestly its done me worlds of good to share my art?? hearing people talk about how they go through all the same shit i do makes me feel so much less alone, especially on the toughest days! so i guess thank you, and thank you?

youre welcome!!!! :>

huh!! i dont know much about shoegaze (other than thinking abt that post abt the guy who pronounced it like fugazi I THINK ABT THAT EVERY TIME) but thats real neat!! im glad youve found something that works for you!!

hey, neat middle name! and youre very welcome; i hope things have been looking up for you since you sent this?💕

i dont remember when this was from but im currently doing really well with my meds!! i switched to a combination of lexapro in the morning and benadryl in the evening, and its been working super well!✨

thank you??!! ;o; i would love to see all your favorite birds!!

hey, right back atcha!!!

:0

ty!!!

hey. thank YOU

you’re absolutely not bothering me! thank you so much!!

!!!!!!!!!!

hey, nice! im glad you like both me and my music!

gosh thanks?!?!

she is the most beautiful and handsome!!!!!!!!!!!! i love her! thank you from both of us!!!!

aw, gosh! im sure i like you too!!

this was from.... A WHILE AGO.... but youre welcome?? i just wish i could have done more

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

thank YOU and a very very belated merry christmas!!!

that does make sense!! reconciling friendships and crushes is tricky business. the best i can say to you is to be as honest and open with each other as you can

i dont personally get those, but ive heard of people experiencing them as a sideeffect when coming off or switching meds

i think these two are part of the same message? but oh man yeah that sucks when ppl are misgendering you AND hitting on you at the same time. on a different note, ive never heard of using a corset to stim before! neat!

i mean, 1. depression doesn’t care if you have a “””good””” reason and 2. ive literally never met anyone w depression (including myself) who thinks that they do have a “””good””” reason for having it. thats the insidious part of depression, is that it makes you think that theres nothing wrong and that its all just you not measuring up in some way

so i guess that would make you.... someone with depression?

real BAD

💕 💖 💞  💓  💗

not yet haha THANK YOU

hey, im glad you like it!! since this blog has gotten so big, its kinda my happy place to be? (for anyone wondering, my reblog blog/personal is @spinels!

that IS a fun fact!! thank you!

it’s absolutely ok! i get a little bitter when people take my work WAY out of context (for example, straight people removing the caption that says “im just really gay” before tagging their bf/gf) but i am 100% ok and happy with people relating to my work in a different way than i intended (ex: a comic i made about being ashamed of my derma getting reblogged by someone struggling to be ok w their visible burn scars)

hoo gosh, thank you!!

glad to have you here!! im glad people can relate to some of the weirdly specific shit i write about tbh???

i’m sorry its taken so long for me to get back to you; that a terrible situation

if you have a teacher you trust, i would absolutely bring it up to them. that is 100% not an ok thing for those kids to be doing. at all.

im glad you at least have your friends that support you! 

:0 WAIT is this someone i know through ucsc?? :0 :0 :0

HA 

aaaa thank you! that is high praise ;v;

i have no words; this is such a touching message. thank you so much ;v;

this is belated but!! the main creative community i can recommend is kzsc, the radio station! i had a real cool time there, and its a great way to make friends and connect with ppl of all sorts! :0

yeah, its totally normal! ive had roommates ive been super tight with, and roommates who i barely ever hung around with. its natural! i doubt you’ll finish college w/o finding a roomie that you get ~The Roomie Experience~ with though, even if its like a housemate or s/t!! ;0

i’ve never been told that, actually! neat!! (and wow?? i cant believe i inspire ppl.... wow......... what a concept tbh??)

oh yikes... i do hope youre feeling better :( im glad my comics can help a little bit at least!

💕 💖 💞  💓  💗!!!

HUGS

i dont remember what this was in reference to, but good to know?

also good to know!?

i think the crows and jays do! i dunno about the squirrels and other birds. and thank you!!

the youth gang..... i love it..... how good???!

i wrote about getting yuri right here! he’s a southern alligator lizard and i love him to bits. 

heres a pic of the Long Boy doin his thing:

hey neat! i’m glad youve chosen a lame you can be proud of!!💖

ive never heard of that!! wow

what play is this?? :0 :0 :0 im so curious now!!

oh SHUCKS...,,,,,,,,,, ;v;

hahahaha omg thank u

i dont actually have any more of them interacting, unfortunately! the owl isnt one specific person, like a lot of my characters are meant to represent. the owl more represents as a whole all the people i run into in my life that i am very very gay for.

thank you!!!

youre very welcome! im glad you feel better!!!!

aaa gosh thank you!!!

hhhhfgh ive gotten less of it recently BUT YEAH that was bad times™️ 

thanks for the info!!! :0

no problem! a lot of the credit honestly goes to @fuckaspunk, who is always keeping me updated on that sort of stuff.

i didn’t know that! a lot of the symbolism seems to come from multiple sources sometimes, from what ive seen?

aaaa gosh omg thank you ;v;

aw thank you???!!

nice!!! oct 24 bdays go!!!

thank you!! it really does mean a lot actually!!!!!!!

of course?? antisemitism cant be ignored in this fight

aw, thats so cute! id love to hear what headcanons you have tbh???

hey thanks?! this is really cool to hear, tbh. i try to be positive most of the time, but im not going to like,,, kid myself when im not feeling it and im glad that other people can appreciate that too, ya know?

wow!!

(this one!) thank you i love that one too???!

hey, im glad you found your way here!! thank you so much!!!

aaaa ty! 

hmmm i have two leopard geckos, and they made very good beginning lizards for me and aidan! but i would maybe ask someone a bit more experienced than me, like @kaijutegu​ or @wheremyscalesslither​!!

thank you!!

one day at a time! (but seriously, thank you!!)

yummy yummy sauce...... ty!!!

awww, gosh! thank you!?

AAAA TY BOTH I GET SO SELF-CONSCIOUS ABT MY VOICE,,,,, ;o;

:0 i havent watched that, but it sounds rly cool!!

i like that fun fact a lot! ty!!

pae stands for paerlin, which is what @fuckaspunk​‘s internet handle used to be! i used it to refer to them on my blog in secret back when they still didnt know i had a crush on them.... ;//v//;

aaaaa thank you!!!  ;o;

nice nice nice ty!!

>:0 get back down here!! (jk that’s rly neat! highfive!!) 

those are all good words that i like!! thank you!!!!

i dont know anything about him, but i looked him up and i guess i can see it?!

@fishcrow is really cool! ive never really interacted with them, but im p sure were mutuals...? anyway yeah their comics are rly cute and cool!

that is me! thank you; i hope things go well for you as well!

hello to you too!

aaaa ty!!! tbh the number of nice anons i get way way way outnumbers the mean ones <3

thank you! thank YOU for existing!

:0 chocolate croissant, here i come!!!

thank you!!!!!!💕

its literally my pleasure!!!

aaa ty!!! 💕💕

hehe im glad! 

sldf;j;sfjdklfdslfjs thank you so much?????? what a compliment omg gosh

yeah!! i have a hard time on settling what class id be, but i feel like id be a heart player! 

ohh um! im not sure which pens youre referring to, but if you mean the ones I use for my comics, i color them with Winsor & Newton ProMarkers, and I do the lines with a purple fine-point Sakura Gelly Roll Classic pen! i also use micron pens of all different sizes and colors in some of my non-diary comic art!

aww thank you so much!!

:0 :) :0 !!!!!!

ty!!! ive grown to love him very much as well!!

thank you! i hope you are doing well also!!

i love them very much?!! id put a picture but i dont have one with all four of them so instead imagine me lying on the floor crying abt how much i love them bc thats me basically every day

you dont mean......

?!?!?!?!?!?!

awwww ty!!!

HEY WOW

aaa gosh thank you!💕

DOUBLE FOLLOW

gay dragons combine the best of both very good things: gay and dragons. im glad you appreciate them w me tysm ;v;

aaa what a lovely message! ty💕

3rd-shift-working, depression-having, corvid-loving solidarity fistbumnp!!!!

huh! ive never heard of that; ill check it out maybe!!

ah im really glad? tysm!!💕

my understanding is that it helps people who have text-to-speech readers? but im honestly not as well informed on that as i should be! 

hell yeah!!!! 

gosh!!!!!

hnmngnhng youve probably already made a decision but i just gotta say.........shadow rulez

delicious!!

i havent!! i really want to though!

oh man ALL THE TIME. i usually try to either reality check with someone i trust, or to do an activity thats easy and i know i can do, or both!

i love andre and karl!!! its actually a huge influence on me and my art tbh??? 

i had a good (and safe) trip! ty!!!

hey, thank you!!!

oh jeez thats bad :( i think this was in response to when i needed to wait between med refills?

i cant give a precise reason, tbh! when it comes to whats lucky, i just sort of.... go with my gut, ya know?

thank you!! 👍

that sure sounds like insomnia! its almost hard for me to say tbh, bc ive had trouble sleeping for as long as i can remember, so NOT having trouble sleeping is bizarre and unrealistic to me haha... but i think the bottom line is, if its interrupting your daily routine and making it hard for you to have enough energy, then its something you should look into remedies for!

:0 :0 :0

ohhh how nice! ill give it a try! :>

omg,,,, nope, just me!

thank you!!!!!!

honestly? thats such a good way to look at it i love the idea of my blog as a big zine

always!!!!! go for it!!!

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

omg, thats so great! thank you!

im so glad; thank you!!!

thank you so much!💖 (and mexico, neat! i love hearing where people are following from??)

aaaaaaaaaaaa ;//v//; thank you??? i get so happy whenever ppl tell me they like my singing aaaaaaa

aw, hey, no worries! money is all well and good, but in some ways, messages like this mean just as much!

its cool that comic gave you plural feels! im def not a system though :> 

its tricky, isnt it? i still feel like im no good at it lmao

LISTEN,,, there is a 99.9999% chance i wont notice, and a 100% chance i wont judge. reblog away! 

THANK YOU ARENT THEY THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

thank you!! i hope you have a good day as well!

aaa ty!!💖

aa ty! (what a cool name!!! im kind jealous ngl!)

awww thank you💖

i do my best! i just worry when im not active, bc i tend to connect my self-worth to my output (;^; )

aaaaa ty!! 💖

!!!!!!!!!!!! omg wow i love being called a pretty boy???? ty???????

hey, neat! crow high-five!

aw, thank you!!! 💖

im doing my best! thank you so much, messages like this really help when im in a place like that tbh ;v;

gosh this is so sweet? thank you so muhc !!?

thank you all!! im sorry that saying thank you over and over sounds so repetitive, but i truely do mean it for every one of you!!!

i am..... one of those things!

well thank you!!

ohoho~✨

thank you! and honestly im sure it does??

hey, cool! good for you!!!!!!! and ty!!

aw gosh thank you!💖

hey, wow! thats super cool; thank you so much!

(i dont follow the first person i followed on tumblr anymore.... they became a hockey blog rip haha)

aaaah, thank you so much!!

almost???

i do!! drunken lullabies is an absolute banger!!!!!!!!!!

i am!!!! thank you!!

aw, ty!!! 💖

hee hee, thank you! 

my biggest tip honestly?? have someone who can be by your side to help you with... basically everything... during your recovery. bc trust me, i was n o t  a v a i l a b l e. i spent a lot of my recovery playing 2048 at the same time as watching tv, bc doing both at once distracted me from how much the bandages itched.

thank you!! (i think this was in reference to getting top surgery!)

how shitty??????? yikes. i hope your supervisor has your back??? bc wow????

hey!!! thank you!!! i draw all my comics traditionally on paper! im not sure what you mean by the writing though? if you mean the word bubbles, i do those by hand on paper too!

I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING,,,, im so happy ppl talk to me, but i get really nervous about saying the wrong thing. 

when i’m down, i usually crave validation. i like being reminded about things ive done right! i also like gentle reality checks, like, ‘hey: this is the situation, this is what we can do about it. ok? ok’

i unfortunately dont have any!! i had a couple at one point, but they’ve since been lost to the depths of my old laptop. and hey, thank you so much!!

now thats a nifty trick!! im terrible at telling all my white tablets from each other lmao

!!!!!!! ITS ME!!!!!!!!

maybe you just need some space? i know i sometimes temporarily block people i know, if i need some private space or if i dont trust myself to keep cool and solve problems constructively. do what you need to do to feel at ease, and go from there, ya know?

thank you!!!

its,,,, up somewhere above in this monster post lmao i,m so sorry,,,,

thank you so much!!!

WOW NO WORRIES??,,,,,,,,, INCREDIBLE 10/10???????

all four of these came right after i gave myself a hair cut and THANK YOU SO MUCH??? i live for validation and it feels so good to have my actions affirmed ;o;

[simba-bonfamille-lyons]

☾ ♥ ● ♦

I put this under a readmore bc it’s LONG AS FUCK im sorry

☾: Favorite moment from your Muse's canon, and why. (If your Muse is an OC, then favorite aspect of their story.)

i love this question.

Belle: my fave is def the scene where she’s taking care of the Beast after the wolves attack them and he gets all grumpy and she Shuts That Shit Down. i take so much of my inspo for belle from that scene alone tbh--but i also do love the opening sequence and how could you not love I WANT ADVENTURE IN THE GREAT WIDE SOMEWHEREEEE

Simba: ugh, so many good moments, but the best scenes in the whole movie are def the stars scene with mufasa and when simba sees rafiki. i also LOVE LOVE nala and simba’s reunion. also, ofc, okay this part is def my fave: the running back to pride rock UGH THAT SCENE

Toulouse: FFT FFT FFT!! that was legit the only part of the movie i remembered from watching it as a little kid. also when he and ber are fighting on the piano, i love that scene, it’s so cute.

Bambi: the part where thumper and bambi are like hanging out and thumper is teaching bambi to say shit. and he’s like BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD and he’s walking along following this lil butterfly, ugh so precious my darling.

Perdita: gosh there is not a lot of canon perdy tbh but i do love her and anita’s relationship. also when she’s kickin ass and taking names to save her babies. also how she really doesn’t want to get covered in coal and pongo says “c’mon perdy time to put on your make up!” 

Sweet: everything?? about him??? he’s so great?? all his lines?? but i love the part where he’s taking care of the old king the best bc before that moment he’s kind of been liek quippy and comic relief but u get to really see his compassion and strength and steadiness in that scene and i love it.

Maui: his backstory, definitely. that was what made me really interested in playing him bc he totally models slyth but is actually a big ole puff and just wants people to love him. also i like the scene where he leaves moana after she Fucks Up (tm) i know that’s probably a weird scene to love but idk i thought it was super interesting.

Hercules: alskdjfladjkflaskjdfljfl EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM?? herc is just my precious darling. but i love how awkward he is but then how FIERCE he gets when he’s protecting people. like you think what a soft marshmellow how is he a hero and then when faced with danger he RISES and it just always warms my heart. my fave is the hydra scene bc that’s the first time he’s like rly sUCCESSFUL as a hero and it’s such a good fight and he uses his strength to his ADVANTAGE ugh i lvoe hercules.

Attina: ahaha she also doesn’t have a lot of canon, but def my favorite is when they find out that ariel has been #gettindown at the club and attina is like NO ABSOLUTELY NOT and hten everyone makes puppy faces at her and she caves so easily. i based a lot of her character on that. like she seems like a hardass but she’s rly not she wants her sisters to be HAPPY

Akela: gosh, he really does not have a lot of canon to go off of at all, in either movie. i’m gonna say the Law of the Jungle. That’s really important to his development in my head. also the scene in the live-action with grey where he tells him that the runts get eaten sometimes bc it’s like the only time he’s not the Serious Alpha but to me it just showed this like softer side to him? that was playful--and i based a lot of his character on that.

♥: One thing you love about your Muse.

Belle: laksdjflkajdf what don’t i love about belle? i mean as a character as a whole i love how inspiring she was to all young girls who loved to read and encouraging girls to be SMART and not be SHY about it. to EMBRACE their bRAINS which is such an important lesson for young girls. and i really love that about my belle too. that she is very demure about a lot of things but DO NOT QUESTION HER INTELLIGENCE. it is the one thing she will unflinchingly defend about herself and i don’t think we see that enough in female characters.

Simba: i love how much simba loves himself. i make fun of it quite a bit, bc he can be so over the top with it, but i really appreciate his level of self-care because that’s something i struggle with. like--not so much confidence, i have a decent amount of that but just, he really does take care of his overall physical health. he exercises, he showers, he eats properly (tho i mean he eats a lot too and lets himself indulge which is important). but he like idk keeps his beard trimmed and takes care of his skin and this sounds like a really weird thing to admire but since i struggle w depression, it’s nice to see ppl who function normally even tho he also struggles w depression. ALSO i love his flirting. haha. inspires me to be a better flirt.

Toulouse: kind of self care too, in a way? i love that lou is unapologetic about who he is, even when he doesn’t like himself. and he really does take care of himself before anyone else. like he does not let other’s opinions (except his siblings) influence his decisions and that’s something i struggle with. it actually makes lou one of my most genuine characters, because if he is sweet to you, if he helps you, if he protects you, he’s doing it because he wants to, not out of any obligation. as someone who struggles to say “no” to people, it’s admirable.

Bambi: ahaha honestly there isn’t much i admire about bambi. not because he’s a bad person but because he’s a teen who is still finding himself and struggling with a lot of self loathing and is in that place in his life where he is making mistakes. but, i do like that, writing him, im getting a--chance to look back and rexamine teenhood from a new perspective which is interesting and fun.

Perdita: i love how FIERCE she is. i always say perdita’s attitude is mine if i didn’t care about what people thought of me and that’s definitely true. i love that the first impression that paul got from her was she didn’t care what anyone thinks BUT i love that she really actually does too bc it just adds so much dynamic.

Sweet: gosh i love how level-headed he is. as someone who is temperamental i really appreciate characters like sweet and poca and haku who are very centered and strong and sturdy. i appreciate their calm presence in my head. i also LVOE how poetic writing him is. he’s one of my characters i feel like i can indulge lyrically in my words with the most.

Maui: i love how conflicted maui is. i love that he has this really stark duality to him and is much more than his cocky exterior and he genuinely really does care about people, not just about the attention, though that is a big draw. i also love what a BOY he is. it’s really fun to play him walking that line of fuckboi and genuine person.

Hercules: what a PRECIOUS MUFFIN HE IS. i just love the whole super strength but has no way to control it thing. it’s just a great duality to play with. like he is so gentle and so afraid of hurting people but has this awesome power. he’s just very precious to me just so sweet and good and pure. 

Attina: my self indulgent bae ahaha. i love that she’s a MERMAID i love that she’s so bubbly. i don’t have any BUBBLY characters. and she’s so happy and smiley. i mean, simba is kinda like that both of them just Radiate Joy. and i also love playing sisters. i love love the family dynamic and the fact that there is so many of them, because it just leads to such RICH character development. i love what a romantic she is. i love how soft and kind but how protective. how scared but how brave. ugh my beeb

Akela: he’s another really calm person. i love that akela doesn’t linger on his mistakes. he has regrets. he acknowledges when he’s done something wrong and then--wait for it--HE MOVES ON. he doesn’t dwell. he doesn’t beat himself up. he picks himself up and dust himself off and moves on. which is so refreshing bc most of my characters are wallowers ahhaa

●: If you could say just one thing to your Muse, what would it be?

Belle: GIRL I S2G GET SOME FUCKIN SELF CONFIDENCE it just really annoys me that she needs to be poked and prodded into feeling good about herself bc she’s so BRAVE AND STRONG AND KIND AND WONDERFUL she’s perfect and she SHOULD KNOW THAT SHE IS WORTH GOOD THINGS

Simba: honey, stop, trying, to, please, everyone,, it’s not gonna work and you’re just gonna wind up making a mess of things. also i love you /pets

Toulouse: i s2g i have so many things that i could say to toulouse but if i could ever interact w some real form of him u know what i would do? i would give him a goddamn hug. just a good, long hug where he can put his lil head on my shoulder and just relax. he craves physical affection ppl

Bambi: i would give him support about his choices and tell him it’s okay to be afraid but he should be brave too bc being brave is the best fuck u to all the people who want to scare you.

Perdita: i understand why you did what you did and i don’t blame you for it. 

Sweet: keep doin you babe

Maui: IT’S OKAY YOU CHEATED JUST LIVE UP TO IT NOW (also you are real hot and we should date)

Hercules: embrace ur powers lil honey u are wonderful

Attina: relax babe you should take care of YOURSElF (she won’t listen to me)

Akela: i’m sorry about your family *gives him snuggles*

♦: Relationship with your Muse.

im gonna answer this like “how does the muse come about” kinda deal bc this question is weird

Belle: well her voice comes so easily to me i love it except it’s SO thinky. she is always who i write the longest posts on bc she just examines everything but i love it bc i so do not think like that but it opens my mind to interesting thought processes i haven’t explored myself before. though i also edit her the most bc her dialogue is SO HARD. it’s getting better tho as she gets more confident but it only takes one set back to go back to stuttering and holding her tongue.

Simba: gosh. i love his voice. it’s so COLORFUL. i can write simba all day because even in his darkest moments he is so BRIGHT and he feels everything so deeply. i love his background. i love writing about africa and islam and how he is bisexual and his race (but in the little things like how he has sensitive skin and likes movies like Hairspray lol). he’s really so different from me in so many ways, but he’s also an accumulation of like all the men in my life i’ve admired so he has a v special place in my heart.

Toulouse: gosh i love toulouse. idk his voice comes SO naturally to me. he is, without a doubt, the character i just instinctually know the best. i can’t even explain it but he just popped into my head completely formed. i knew everything about him almost immediately and even the things that came later just fell into place so easily. i just love him because he is so complicated and dynamic and feels so deeply while also having a really complicated relationship with those emotions. writing him is both frustrating bc he always makes the same mistakes, but very easy for me.

Bambi: ugh i love bam. he’s another one that i just loved from the start. i wanted him for so so long before i actually got him and he just mad sense to me. i love his shyness. i like writing his view of the world since he def has so much influence from books and movies and he thinks in like tropes a lot and i’ve never written like that before and it’s super fun.

Perdita: i love how concise she is. i love all the sharp language i get to use with her. how every sentence i feel like i hit the period mark really fiercely. every sentence is important and to the point. she doesn’t like meander and as someone with flowy writing it’s nice to be able to know that i can do shorter stuff.

Sweet: UGH i love the poetry to his voice. making him a poet was a great move on my part bc i just looooove it. i love his voice. how calm. how gentle. how wise. and beautiful tbh. also all his experience is really fun to write. he’s like a fully formed person.

 Maui: i think i mentioned this but what a BOY he is. i love it. i love being able to play with the line between saying shitty sexist things but not knowing they’re shitty and sexist and really being a (mostly) genuine person but not always kosher or PC or anything like that.

Hercules: im still getting used to his voice but i really like how much he curses lmao he is like FUCK FUCK FUCK in his head at all times and i love that bc he’s so soft and smol and it’s such a funny contrast. also i get to play with humor and irony a lot with him and that’s fun. hopefully i can do more allusions to mythology once i start working with his powers more and that’ll be fun

Attina: i love her OCD. i think it makes for really interesting writing because people with OCD repeat phrases and stuff a lot and always having to be hyperaware of her actions like--remembering she doesn’t like to touch people and remembering that she locks the door nine times and that she doesn’t eat food from public places. it just really plants me in her head every time i write her.

Akela: his connection to nature. tbh being able to play as a wolf im ngl. but also a LEADER that people RESPECT AND LISTen TO. also i love how his voice is sad but not depressingly so. so it makes it really interesting to write like balancing all that emotional with his cool, level-headness. 

[sturmazing]

RANDOM FACTS ABOUT THE MUN.

Repost, don’t reblog! Tag 6 muns you would like to get to know better when done!

Name: [snake hiss] Nickname: spriteboi (with or without the boi) Age: same as aaron. tho i think most ppl know that woops Faceclaim: i use 2 many but my main ones are sheska from f.ullmetal a.lchemist, iris from the olimpos manga, and some random chick that i use for meta posts

Pronouns: any u wanna use! i’m chill yo. i’m a cis gal tho. Height: 5′1″ look y’all are bullies Birthday: june 3rd ! Aesthetic: boi we don’t wanna be here an eon (those kinds of pictures where it juxtapositions a character in different stages of their life, that’s my aesthetic) Last song you listened to: one woman army by porcelain black thanks soda

Favourite muse(s) you’ve written: boi i don’t wanna make this post 5000 words long. i’ve only ever really written two, that being Shadow Link and Soda here, and i’m... inclined to say soda just bc i’ve rly drifted away from my shadow link. i still adore him, but he’s so canon-divergent and heavy in tone and all this stuff that i can’t pick him back up anymore. that leaves soda, but honestly, she’s just as stressful as she is fun so it’s?? woops. i also love lyn but i haven’t written him enough weeps...

What inspired you to take on your current muse (that you are posting this on): I WAS... SPITEFUL BC I DIDN’T SEE ANY AGENT 3s THAT WERE RLY “AFFECTED” BY THE CAMPAIGN SO. I MADE ONE. soda was actually first created as bland as i could make her, sort of as a social experiment, but she developed a mind of her own. and i’m really glad she did. because she’s so much richer for it. but her history as a character is rly interesting and i’ll gladly detail it, just not here woops

What are your favorite aspects of your current muse: crinkles nose. honestly the fact that she has no filter, doesn’t try to fit herself into society. she’s the definition of insane in this way and that’s so refreshing to write.

What’s your biggest inspiration when it comes to writing: life! i always create characters based off things i find in everyday life, along w/ their quirks and hobbies and whatnot. i think it’s very important to draw from life, since it provides the widest “selection” so to speak. you can pull a lot from everyday observations: things that you’d never get in all the books in the world.

Favorite types of threads: soda... doesnt get enough fluff...... shes always trying to murder......... give my daughter fluff and happiness and romantic things for the sake of her development ..........................

Biggest struggle in regards to your current muse: getting thru the hecking day with her in my brain. i recently played an ic c.ards a.gainst h.umanity game as her and it seriously messed with the line i have between her psyche and mine. so that’s fun.

Tagged by: @coriignis <3 Tagging: do it on @brushrush fool + @octokiing @cephalopodxsquad @splashysquid @iinktarian waaa i can’t think of someone else just take it yo

[t--o--f--u-blog]

☼☼☼☼☼ also think tank a white lecturer using the n-word when quoting literature in a lecture? I think she used it once outside of quotation as well certainly not meant in a disrespectful way, just seems unnecessary

☐☐☐☐☐ better have a justification at least but if you just use it out of the blue it always seems like some attempt at provocation 'i can say this because my interests are purely academic'

☼☼☼☼☼ mmmmm we're reading uncle tom's cabin, so it's hard to avoid

☐☐☐☐☐ should only be quoted verbatim if absolutely necessary, if there's no alternative I think

☼☼☼☼☼ yeah seems like she could have avoided it pretty easily

☐☐☐☐☐ if she's making no acknowledgement of the word's relationship to her privilege, that's rly not good

☼☼☼☼☼ yeah she's older so there might just be an outdated perspective there 'I'm just quoting the text, it was anti-slavery so I'm fine' sort of mentality maybe?

☐☐☐☐☐ still she would know about the contemporary attitude to the word and she should at least mention that! ugh like it doesn't sound malicious or super super racist, but eh

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah I feel iffffy about it

☐☐☐☐☐ should mention it!

☼☼☼☼☼ Trying to work out if I should send email and if so how to word it

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ be interesting to actually properly discuss it

☐☐☐☐☐ yep

☍☍☍☍☍ heck I’d be interested to know more of a history of the word basically teach properly why its offensive

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah, I might bring it up in the tutorial different teacher, but maybe good discussion

☐☐☐☐☐ mm that seems appropriate i'd love to hear how that goes

☍☍☍☍☍ uhhh there was someone who used it at Bar Oussou  the host reallllly should’ve said something and I normally would but just too tired for confrontation

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah ☐☐☐☐☐ was telling me Sounded very cringe

☐☐☐☐☐ v unfortunate most disappointed in yhe host tbh

☐☐☐☐☐ he maybe had a old-worldy attitude to it and didn't mind or was too cowardly lol which do u think?

☍☍☍☍☍ I think he thought it was in the context of the poem she didn’t use it to degrade someone directly, but the word itself is degrading

☐☐☐☐☐ ugh but the poem is in the context of fuckin oussou yep ppl need to have a think before using words

☍☍☍☍☍ I just think its great to have a stage to do emotional work, but it can cross a line into normalising shitty white behaviour

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I went to a coloured school so I can’t b racist wah wah wah

☐☐☐☐☐ and you have to consider your audience if your rant is dehumanising or brushes aside/causes suffering u gotta reconsider felt pretty ashamed on behalf of bartender/various black audience members not saying that dumb white shit would be acceptable with a different audience, but her obliviousness was kinda astounding

☼☼☼☼☼ wow yeah cringefest

☍☍☍☍☍ lol spoken word scene as a whole can b so lame haha rings true to why I/we left

☐☐☐☐☐ mm so macho! that's what I liked about talkbox some sensitivity there, gentleness

☍☍☍☍☍ still, I just wish people read more lok *lol

☐☐☐☐☐ yep I wish I read more

☍☍☍☍☍ like the stylistic range is generally pretty lame

☐☐☐☐☐ I guess that's why anyone reads mmm

☍☍☍☍☍ I wish I read more too

☐☐☐☐☐ hahahaha

☼☼☼☼☼ :')

☍☍☍☍☍ don’t mean to shit on everyon, I just think the scene as a whole and the conception of poetry is lacklustre - it doesn’t seem like the time for poetry, sometimes

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ ppl too distracted by netflix uwu sounds like phones but too much

☐☐☐☐☐ doesn't seem like the time for art, sometimes! hahhh

☍☍☍☍☍ its definitely a time for music

☼☼☼☼☼ I think there's a place for poetry It's just raps and memes

☍☍☍☍☍ yeh but I play dat long game there might not b a place now but I’mma fkn make one whether you like it or not lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Oh yeah fair go 4 it

☐☐☐☐☐ loll

☍☍☍☍☍ I just mean that I think 'poetry' has evolved into other forms, and now the traditional form is struggling to find a place I mean does anyone pay attention to Victorian satirical cartoons? I don’t I think it’s also tho that the low brow is more apparent in the moment, the high brow more apparent from a distance the shit sinks, basically

☼☼☼☼☼ elaborate?

☍☍☍☍☍ time brings forward higher brow material while a lot of lower brow stuff falls back or like there’s an art for getting through your days, and there’s an art for elaborate long form spiritual liberation

☼☼☼☼☼ so u don't mind about a lack of audience now if your work has staying power?

☍☍☍☍☍ different works have different digestion time and yes that is what I’m saying

☼☼☼☼☼ hmmmmmmm

☍☍☍☍☍ hmmmmmmmm?

☐☐☐☐☐ personally I don't know whether I'm prioritising the reception of my work or its value to me right now i feel poetry/art in general are useful tools for thinking about the world useful philosophical tools i guess and idk whether i'm learning for the sake of my own knowledge/making 'better' art or learning so what I put out into the world is better received I suppose the two aren't mutually exclusive but yeah - feeling fairly indifferent to the idea of creating work that will persist right now part of me feels more comfortable with being lost forever lol or at least that I should become comfortable with that, bc that is what will happen inevitably

☍☍☍☍☍ I just think in this atmosphere of complete denial of the arts as an important component of society, as well as the stigmatisation of ritual and other mystical practices that used to house what we now might describe as an artist, its important that we follow our intuition rather than give in to a system that routinely prevents us having access to basic resources like I want to be there for whoever is there when this period comes to end and those peoples are looking for anything to rudder them, whether or not I’m alive

☐☐☐☐☐ you want to add to the cultural record?

☍☍☍☍☍ I want provide a map for future generations is how I would put it

☐☐☐☐☐ mm how do you feel one can ensure the persistence of their own work? or are you just hoping it'll be around for others I suppose whether or not anything lasts is out of ur control past a certain point

☍☍☍☍☍ for one I make an effort to give away a lot of work

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I also store it all and make sure that that stockpile is kept w care but I also think there’s something to be said that I try and operate within many pre-existing canons I also it’s important to use the more meme-y, short stay work to bring attention to the slower works yeah, re: canons, like tanka and before that wakka as poetic forms stem back as far as a thousand years - perhaps more by putting myself in conversation with the ancients... idk it feels a bit like entering a cultural refrigerator haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ sometimes I find it better to see my individual works as modules that make up a whole more prescient than its parts (Morton lolz) soo... maybe my work won’t carry the same weight until I finish, so to speak who knowsss but this how I think about it lol

☐☐☐☐☐ best to try and contribute something I spose rather than do nothing w ur resources

☍☍☍☍☍ I’m weird with this shit u don’t have to be

☐☐☐☐☐ mm it seems fairly simple to me and not that weird

☍☍☍☍☍ not everyone should spend their life tending their gravestone it’s a job for a particular type of person, and I am it

☐☐☐☐☐ but in a sense everyone does anyway everyone does things with the future in mind or without it in mind I suppose

☐☐☐☐☐ and i guess that influences what you leave when you die eheh, whether you do it consciously or unconsciously

☍☍☍☍☍ I just am particularly stubborn that I have something to offer - I think its partially a result of being denied that a lot in school, I found other ways to have social bonds that were more... non linear bonds with past peoples, and inadvertently bonds with future people

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I find it frustrating that its seen as arrogant to suggest your work should be read after you die - if anything its remarkably humble as I'm acknowledging that I will never properly see the fruits of my labour it's a ridiculously isolating position to find oneself in, where your best friends - books, music, content - have no form of human intimacy with you and completely defy all survivalistic, lizard-brain humanity plus you're just on a total different dimension from most people you meet

☐☐☐☐☐ mm you're in a very specific position here

☍☍☍☍☍ lol goodluck catching up ☼☼☼☼☼

☼☼☼☼☼ unrelated btw

(☼☼☼☼☼ posts a meme in chat)

☍☍☍☍☍ see y'all @ da rally (in reference to the meme)

☐☐☐☐☐ where and when is this? oh oops thought you meant a real one

☼☼☼☼☼ hahaha

☍☍☍☍☍ xD

☼☼☼☼☼ structurally is the meme ok ? took the photo the other day, and just added the text.

☍☍☍☍☍ yes are u going to weigh in on the conversation tho lol

☼☼☼☼☼ nah not really

☍☍☍☍☍ meme fine

☼☼☼☼☼ I have so little to add

☍☍☍☍☍ well hm why make memes? why not write novel? do memes have staying power?

☐☐☐☐☐ it's a question of what timescale is important to you at any given time maybe

☍☍☍☍☍ oh absolutely - not trying to infer a hierarchy here, I just think there are different approaches for different problems

☐☐☐☐☐ sometimes I'll say something to someone so they'll remember it for tomorrow, sometimes I'll say something to someone and hope they'll remember forever lol mm I don't think I care about staying power that much

☐☐☐☐☐ memes have such a short lifetime, they're like cultural mayflies haha

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah defs

☍☍☍☍☍ why tho lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Because the art itself can date while still inspiring change

☍☍☍☍☍ yeah so using it pragmatically like a single use tissue

☼☼☼☼☼ If you create something short lived, it (with the help of other artists producing similar work) is able to push art and society in a specific direction The butterfly effect I guess

☍☍☍☍☍ it's true that you have more effect in the current conversation

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ but that conversation draws intensively on a language formed by the ancients so the two are dependent on each other, a back and forth

☐☐☐☐☐ and that's dependent on their work's longevity?

☍☍☍☍☍ not following ur question

☐☐☐☐☐ not following your point haha hmm

☼☼☼☼☼ so you're suggesting a works longevity is crucial in that it helps reinforce and update the ancient language in which short term work of the future will be influenced by?

☐☐☐☐☐ mm also - what if of all the work you make, it's only a meme that survives the passage of time?

☍☍☍☍☍ basically... like you're just reiterating points that have been made more in depth in 'higher' brow culture - that's definitely how I feel when writing raps

☐☐☐☐☐ like Roman graffiti surviving on the walls or whatever

☍☍☍☍☍ did you a hear copy of the I Ching, the Chinese numerology classic more than a thousand years old, was found in the 70s and had a heap more sections and a different order? effectively completely changing the understanding of the I Ching gotta get those nice lead storage chambers ayyyyy ahahaha it was found buried in a coffin, obvs haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ a lot of Chinese philosophers only exist in so much as someone else described them

☼☼☼☼☼ But what does that changing of contexts of that piece actually mean for us? Is updated Ching from the coffin helping us in any way?

☍☍☍☍☍ I think for me finding the I Ching and looking over it is like a person in a thousand years finding a functional iPhone it gives great insight into human impulses regardless of time and offers a way of writing the past a new, which in turn presents a new future (thinking of the cowboy article you sent me) reconceptualizing the past IS the future look at 'Make America Great Again' or calls to restore the caliphate both are founded on histories that have more to do with our current state than the actual happenings of the past

☼☼☼☼☼ I do see where you're coming from I like the idea that it's important to preserve our work for understand the past better And I hope that someone in the future will have a clearer understanding of our time through your well preserved works But what fucking future is it

☍☍☍☍☍ haha but like looking back we see people been asking that for a veeery long time I get it seems on a new scale but we're on a new scale too

☼☼☼☼☼ It does seem that yes Also if we do survive and keep on teching on

☍☍☍☍☍ I'm for an integration of the human/natural binary where we properly acknowledge our mutual codependency, the earth and humanity that is

☼☼☼☼☼ Are we even going to be translatable? Is the functioning iPhone found by the future person going to even be able to be translated? Or will it be meaningless because everyone is already part of the grid

☍☍☍☍☍ where artificially effecting the climate for the benefit of 'nature' isn't seen as strange but completely akin to Aboriginal burn back practices

☐☐☐☐☐ i guess it's productive to hope that it will be translatable

☍☍☍☍☍ we've always interfered in the running of nature

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ ehhh idk we translated fucking hieroglyphics

☼☼☼☼☼ Or future tech can look into the past and someone is watching our lives as we type this now, constantly being understood through our context in a way we can't comprehend through our recording processes shrugs

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean yeah, imagine if the internet was even vaguely archived

☼☼☼☼☼ You probably have a better understanding of how the future will pan out than I do tho

☍☍☍☍☍ even if 0.1 % was kept, it would be a massive resource

☼☼☼☼☼ No sass intended there, I'm sincere

☍☍☍☍☍ lol idk I just try to see a bigger picture and it keeps me calm remember me old saying? we survived the plague and nukes lol

☼☼☼☼☼ I just don't see the issue with creating short term work, especially if it is preserved

☍☍☍☍☍ oh neither do I

☼☼☼☼☼ Like a meme may have more impact than a novel rn

☐☐☐☐☐ well it could be argued that we're yet to survive nukes but I see your point impact on various timescales

☼☼☼☼☼ I've heard the plague make be thinking of making a comeback too haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ oh duh peasantry is fully hip rn

☐☐☐☐☐ but like

☍☍☍☍☍ bring back the boils, they look great with my Balenciaga sneakers

☐☐☐☐☐ lol bubonic chic

☼☼☼☼☼ Pretty close to heroin chic tbh haha

☍☍☍☍☍ not jking that was tb

☐☐☐☐☐ but like, I don't find a huge amount of solace in the fact that we survived the plague

☍☍☍☍☍ "The Victorians romanticized the disease and the effects it caused in the gradual build to death. For decades, many beauty standards emulated or highlighted these effects. And as scientists gained greater understanding of the disease and how it was spread, the disease continued to keep its hold on fashion. and the severity of the corsets was known to harm the lungs in such a way that would increase the likelihood of transmission LOOOL

☐☐☐☐☐ mm Balenciaga look out idk it's a question of what capacity we survive in

☼☼☼☼☼ lollllll

☐☐☐☐☐ quite depressing to think about

☍☍☍☍☍ eating disorders have a pretense

☐☐☐☐☐ what if ecocide leaves a few insular eco fascist regimes who gradually diminish over centuries always engaged in pointless wars of attrition with one another lol

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean you could probably say the same thing of colonial regimes now

☐☐☐☐☐ just because we can survive, doesn't mean my outlook should b at all rosy :((

☍☍☍☍☍ point is its a big ol' world that has plenty of room for pain AND love any future pain you think is imminent probably already is happening, and nonetheless breakfast tasted good this morning

☼☼☼☼☼ 'The hipster middle class would dress with raggedy beards and large jackets and refuse to use deodorant, perhaps to reflect the look of people suffering from homelessness at the time. It is suspected that this made them less likely to be hired, and therefore more likely to become homeless themselves.'  ☍☍☍☍☍ ahahaha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm that's true hahhh

☼☼☼☼☼ Planning on making this into a full essay. Might not be popular now, but I think it has staying power? Soz for shitposting haha

☍☍☍☍☍ I was talking with ☲☲☲☲☲ a while back, and something struck me - she said, "I never thought this age would have its own fleet of particular medical conditions." (or something like that lol, translated via my nerd brain)

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah that didn't quite sound like her But that sentiment is great

☍☍☍☍☍ 'fleet'

☼☼☼☼☼ In that ofc there is, but also wow yeah ofc!

☐☐☐☐☐ mmm hahh these conversations should be recorded so we can all think about em without scrolling up endlessly

☼☼☼☼☼ I do like the idea of people reading these works in the future tho

☐☐☐☐☐ and also so that they can be preserved for 10,000+ years of course

☼☼☼☼☼ In the same way we read the letters sent between dead artists now

☐☐☐☐☐ mm very true

☍☍☍☍☍ mmm

☐☐☐☐☐ messenger is not a particularly stable storage medium and also is more vulnerable to third party scrutiny although the fact we're reading artists letters now means that medium is also pretty fucking vulnerable to scrutiny lol

☍☍☍☍☍ I fucking found the word! (sorry was searching for it so hard) Neurasthenia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurasthenia

☼☼☼☼☼ Americanitis lol

☍☍☍☍☍ uhh the page doesn't rly talk about this, but its like a condition of over-working effectively, and people would try and get prescribed the pills to treat it as a way of signalling they were a dedicated worker its total hokey

☐☐☐☐☐ wow yeah you mentioned this a while back

☼☼☼☼☼ oh I've heard a similar thing in Japan were workers will pretend to fall asleep at their desks to show how hard they're working No idea the trust behind it tho

☍☍☍☍☍ to this day, "In Japan, shinkei-suijaku is treated with Morita therapy involving mandatory rest and isolation, followed by progressively more difficult work, and a resumption of a previous social role. The diagnosis is sometimes used as a disguise for serious mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and mood disorders." a dignified mental illness uwu none of that lower class shit I'm a classy fuck with money, I don't get the same mental conditions as the poor lolol reminds me of now: I don't have shitty parents, I just have adhd (not to deligitimise all uses of adhd, just over diagnosed)

☼☼☼☼☼ mmmmm i feel u yes this has been a wild ride

☍☍☍☍☍ yes I’m leaving to get late lunch uwu have a good day in this cosmic spider web lololol

☼☼☼☼☼ :')

☍☍☍☍☍ Like the burning of this charcoal fire, our years too will soon expire Kobayashi Issa listening to Krista Tippet talk with Maria Popova, this particular phrase resonated with our conversation: we live in a world where disruption over-fetishised; we need cultural stewardship to help along new waves of disruption

☼☼☼☼☼ How would u define cultural stewardship in a practical sense?

☍☍☍☍☍ caring for the legacy of those past as a means of refreshing their insight for a new age a very straightforward example would b the importance of new translations, in this regard - as our understanding and depth of connection to Japanese society has deepened, so too have our translations dusting off the books so to speak in some sense I see that in our music too or reappropriating to a new context

☼☼☼☼☼ Well remasters are a time terry literal example Fuck

☍☍☍☍☍ time terry

☼☼☼☼☼ Pretty* not time terry lol

☼☼☼☼☼ lime berry yeah exactly

☼☼☼☼☼ Slime Jerry

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean rereleasing is an obvs example mhm but more abstract examples are how I’ve exported into both your brains Bridle/Steyerl/Haraway via conversation and art lolol I’m helping it move from one place to another same w Zappa lol

☐☐☐☐☐ also - looking after artist friends being generous I feel these are acts of pre-emptive cultural stewardship

☍☍☍☍☍ haha yeah definitely different time scales it could function on

☐☐☐☐☐ looking after and maintain communities

☍☍☍☍☍ hosting open mics lol helping teach ppl poetry lollll

☐☐☐☐☐ not allowing hate speech to creep into open mics lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Truuuuu Or anywhere for that matter

☐☐☐☐☐ not becoming so dusty that you actually have a detrimental impact on cultural progression

☍☍☍☍☍ I think religions only exist in so far as they have active practitioners

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☼☼☼☼☼ Tru

☍☍☍☍☍ I think my sense is, in religion, this same argument plays out with orthodoxy versus mysticism Maintenance of buildings is in there too for religion People being assigned paid positions as the keepers and givers of religious knowledge oh yeah thinking a lot here of Shanzai, ☐☐☐☐☐, and the idea of an object as a lived practice

☐☐☐☐☐ when home I'm gonna do my best to archive this conversation mmm

☍☍☍☍☍ you’re going to steward our conversation bout stewardship ...

☐☐☐☐☐ this is all going in

☍☍☍☍☍ ...the tv where I am says “The comedian getting behind ‘Know Thy Nuts’” and there are big walnuts on the screen

☐☐☐☐☐ ???????

☍☍☍☍☍ “I didn’t realise chemotherapy would be such great comedic material!”

☐☐☐☐☐ ¿¿¿¿¿¿

☼☼☼☼☼ Huhhhh

☍☍☍☍☍ lol highly recommend https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/on-being-with-krista-tippett/id150892556?mt=2&i=1000429408054https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/on-being-with-krista-tippett/id150892556?mt=2&i=1000429408054

[cheapcookiez]

HOW DID YOU FOUND YOUR ART STYLE I'M STRUGGLING HELP SENPAI

ah hm..okay it’s a recurrent question . i will tell u exactly how i did and from now, everytime i will get this question, i will give them this huge honest answer °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

i found it while assembling a lot of things i saw during my life.my art style is like a mr potato. waitin’ to see their holes filled out with new ideas.  

i think i can show you some of my researchs.my sketchbooks and even tell u how works mah mind .

 If u want to find an art style, please learn how to understand yourself  before. your art represents yourself. if you’re not clear in your mind. you won’t be clear on the paper.

(⌒▽⌒)☆ So let’s begin

…wait..

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ 

It’s very a big  answer so be ready to click on “keep reading”: 

( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ when i’ve started to draw 4 or well almost 5 years ago. everything was confused in mah mind. The most difficult was to begin. so i started with drawing in a manga style…i drew a lot AND a lot.i was copying entire pages of Tales of symphonia. (my favorite manga and video game).that’s where the passion for fan art started. a good beginning full of passion!

Since that i’ve been moar receptive to some kind of manga. chibi round style was my favorite. magical doremi took a big place in mah kokoro.

The next drawing you’ll see was the beginning of my new art style. and i deeply knew it in mah bones. i was not expecting to draw this.i think it was only luck.

that was …a strange feel. like i was enjoyin’ it so much that i could draw it every.single.day. 

That was not exceptionnal. but i felt like nobody could draw like that. except me.(there is the over confidence part of a art newbie. follow this feel like it was your last chance.u need to not give up.u did the most difficult part so far! follow your intuition ! this little rainbow in your mind ! )

i kept drawing. again. and again. for months and  freakin’ months. 

i was certainly inspired of tim burton for the chibis and the headshots, if my memory doesn’t say shit,the artist is reapersun.

I was at a point i knew i had to take risks. It’s when, i accepted requests from ppl on deviantart . I couldn’t work alone. so i accepted everything. 

everything.

 Even miku hatsune dancing the gangnam style. 」(￣▽￣」)

i was also on a french forum, and ppl were giving meh a lot of reviews. that was helpful and that’s when i understood i needed a community for progressin’. compliments,opinions,reviews. YOU NEED THAT. accept them and shut your mouth. they’re right. put your pride somewhere else. and accept to see ppl better than you at something.〔´∇｀〕

At some points, i was also giving reviews. that was huge. like 3 or 4 open office pages for a small drawing.it took me hours but it’s important to kno’ how to give a review to somewahn bc that makes u think about their art and yours as well. training ur eyes to spot the mistakes.

i was drawing a lot of fan arts of their characters. They were only potato/egg-characters. that helped me to find a digital color style when i bought my first tablet.

btw,i waited 1 year and half before buying mah smol wacom. I prefered to keep practicing on paper. if you can’t draw properly on paper. digital won’t help u. it’s not a magic trick that makes ppl talented. ≡(*′▽`)っ

i have way moar respect for traditionnal artists. sooo much respect.u don’t even kno’.

(then…at this point, i was drawing for almost 2 years i thiiink.)

that’s when i started to extrapolate EVERYTHING. Colors, anatomy,expressions .( Everythin’ i ‘m drawing during this kind of practice period is wrong. extremely wrong and full of mistakes. But i have to do this bc i put so much energy into mah artworks that i can’t think properly until i’m mentally exhausted. (it’s completely personal,but i need to be broken af for understanding how pitiful i am and finaaally letting myself learning something new. ) )

so,when i’m completely exhausted(it’s a very heartful moment,like a huge art block),i leave my artworks in a corner,i don’t touch it for hours,days,weeks or sometimes months.nobody can touch it .except me and i analyze and re analyze them until i completely hate what i do bc i found all the mistakes. 

At this moment, i’m ready for experimenting again, learn from my mistakes and move on.

Sometimes we need to take risks and get out of our comfort zone !!! just.fuckin. DO IT. it’s toxic to stay in our comfort zone for too long . 8;A;8

An exemple of extrapolated drawing: Too much colors, too big arms / legs, too shiny,too weird and unlogical.We can’t understand. but whatever. it’s the beginning of something new! 

as smol addition to what i’ve said before, this is at this moment i can figure out my real problems .it’s only when i’m emotionallynot attached to mah art anymoar that i can finally produce something new .

However, i don’t personally give a fuck to tutorials,i’m too lazy for that. i have to discover everythin’ by mahself. (but this. it’s misplaced pride. so don’t do that .plz.learn from the others ,you won’t lose time like meh.)

Also.if u want to find ur art style , u need to not forget ur art references.  ໒( ͡ᵔ ▾ ͡ᵔ )७

 create your own influence map !

i worship mainly  two gorgeous artists :

Ephyse and C2ndyAc1d:

NEVER FORGET WHERE U COME FROM. NEVER DENY IT .it’s your past. it’s as important as your future.it’s a part of your artistic identity. OAO

no joke, it’s absolutely essential. thanks them for their hard work. it’s thanks to them if you’ve discovered your own art as well.

Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ and now ,if i show u mah art, can u spot the references? : 

anatomy ,candy’ :

colors,ephyse  :

After that. if u think you’re done…. u r eeextremely wrong. It’s where ppl usually stop.don’t do that. i kno’ so many artists who stopped right there. It’s bad bc they have SO MUCH potential.

“ What ppl see is not what i really do”.it’s a very personal phrase i keep in my heart. when i show somethin’ ‘’new’’ on internet or to my friends,in fact, it’s old for me. i’m already workin’ on something else in my corner. Bc do u remember waht i said before? that takes sometimes months to let ppl see my real art.

the practice NEVER ends. like neveh.  ヾ(´▽｀;)ゝ

put your pride somewhere else,it’s time to get back on the practice train.

here is asumiko nakamiro,one of my favorite artists as well. i love the anatomy of her characters. such lovely art style.

well, it’s awful,but it’s time to get inspired again.

//cries// Now u see how shitty u can be HmmMMm. a new challenge accepted.

And i have A TON of sketchbooks full of awful sketches that i will never show to anyone.

__________

Not everythin’ is on my table,i have waaaay more sketchbooks and it’s only traditional but there is certainly 2 years of practice in front of you. Don’t need to tell u but everythin’ is full ofc .i also finished a new wahn this week. plz remind meh to buy another one.

I also have THE HUGE CHANCE to have comic student artists as friends and they sometimes lend to me comic books(O3O ~LAST MAN. MAH LIL FAVORITE URG. ). I wish i had more place,but i read a lot of books ! i love goin’ to the library and read everythin’ i can ‘til my head hurts haha. (and LOOK ,”astemio”the book on the right ! i participated to this fanzine. oh boi.i’m so proud even if mah art in there is so shitty )

In short.

i’m constantly drawing and experimenting. that’s how i found mah art style. （=´∇｀=）

and actually, for ppl who still read. i’m about to take a break from tumblr and the youtube community bc i can’t experiment as i would like . i want to draw my ocs, create stuff and i’m stuck with youtubers fan art. i need a creative break.

If you need moar informations on mah art style or anythin’ else, feel free to ask meh. i tried mah best to explain even if it’s really personal.

Never give up,find ur own way of thinking and practicin’. goddamit plz, trust ur intuition.trust your art taste and don’t draw what ppl would like to see. 

If i was doing that, i would draw some semi realistic post apo’ stuff. And even if i rly appreciate that drawn by mah friends. it’s clearly not my thing. 

also.MY BIGGEST ADVICE FOR ALL OF YOU . LEARN THAT BEFORE CRYING :

(￣▽￣)ノHAVING UR OWN ART STYLE  MEANS THAT PEOPLE MIGHT GENUINELY NOT LIKE IT. COMPLETELY HATE IT OR FALL IN LOVE WITH. IT S SO RANDOM AND YOU CAN T BLAME ANYONE FOR THAT.

U CAN T SATISFY EVERYWAHN. PLZ. MAKE SURE TO KEEP THIS IN MIND.HANG UP. IT S NOT YOUR FAULT. WE ALL HAVE OUR PREFERENCES. (ノ*゜▽゜*)

That’s it.  hope that was helpful !cool cool ! g-good luck!

[i-want-my-iwtv]

God, am I the only one that liked Tom Cruise as Lestat (besides AR)? Honestly, my headcanon for Lestat is a mix of tom cruise's lestat and my own imagination. I thought he was good and looked the part, but everyone seems to hate him... Also, where is the love for baby jenks? Yes, she was only in the book for maybe 20 pages, but she was cool and made me laugh. There's no fanart or anything for her and that makes me kinda sad

You are preaching to the choir re: Tom Cruise ;D I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

^This is one of my favorite production stills of him. He’s just perfect. Menacing, charming, at the edge of reason and also in total control of the scene… but this is largely in his acting and ppl who disliked him may not have given him a chance like AR did (you know, she initially railed against his casting, and after seeing a screening of the film, completely changed her mind and sang his praises). 

Ppl argue that he doesn’t look like Lestat, and that’s true, he’s a little vertically challenged and he doesn’t have *~iridescent grey-blue eyes~*, he doesn’t have *~a gorgeous mop of pampered yellow hair.~* The hair and makeup they did for him work with his natural coloring, and they tried going brighter blond, didn’t really mesh well. Ppl also argue about his personal life, and Scientology, all that mess… but I don’t factor that into his performance as Lestat, personally.

But he more than makes up for all that in his acting, imo. He did his homework for the role and put a massive amount of effort into it, you can tell that he loves the character. Tom Cruise re: Lestat:

“I used the books as a reference for me and, y'know, you have to read them, especially Interview with the Vampire, because it’s from Louis’s point of view, you have to read it very carefully to find the clues to who Lestat is, and y'know… his loneliness, and his, his personal… struggle. He recognizes that Louis’ a unique… being, and if he wanted… y'know it’s that whole thing, and Lestat gives him the choice - very clearly - even in the book Lestat gives Louis the choice, uh, and that’s something I felt very strongly about… and when Lestat asks Louis, “Do you still want death? Or have you tasted it enough?” He’s really asking Louis:

“Do you still wanna die? I mean, now you know, you’ve come close to death, is this what you want?”

Re: Baby Jenks - Yeah I liked her alot, too! The way her narrative was written was refreshing, unlike any canon before it. Concisely stated but rich and believable backstory. She deserved to have more screentime. More fanart of her would be gr9!

Baby Jenks, like Nicolas, and a few other characters w/ less “screentime” in VC… it was surprising to me when ppl started digging them up and loving them, but I’ve come to realize that these are characters that:

A) still have some blank slate left, so fans can draw their own headcanons on them; and,

B) (part 1) seem to be characters that this generation relate to more. Nicolas practically has a canon mental illness, and he suffers for it. Ppl saw themselves in him and the representation felt good, that and author recognized their existence, even though he didn’t get a happy ending, and we love characters like that.

B) (part 2) Baby Jenks didn’t get a treasure chest of money and jewels or a frickin’ castle when she was turned; she had a biker gang and was so much richer bc she wasn’t alone! Her backstory was briefly sketched, but it was in powerful strokes; she was a BAMF in her own way, refusing to go quietly into that good night. And that’s inspiring, and we love characters like that.