#and i dont like feel anything negative towards it or anything like that
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I dont think Mob is naive as much as he's socially unaware, like the reason why he trusts Reigen so blindly is a bit more complex than just him being naive
Cause Mob reached out to Reigen because he was desperate to find someone like him, someone who understood his psychic specific issues, someone that could truly know what he's feeling and going through and give him guidance and support
Post incident Mob's thinking process was something along the lines of my powers hurt people -> my powers are bad -> my powers (my emotions, my instincts, myself) cannot be trusted
So he lost all confidence and trust in his own actions, resigning to being as passive as possible to avoid any further damage to anyone else, thus he started doubting his own perception of reality too
He's a kid already struggling with being ostracised for being socially inept, who just got traumatised and all of his insecurity increased by the tenfold, he doesn't know how to process what he's going through. He needs help.
And here comes Reigen, seemingly reliable, a responsible adult in a child's eyes, someone who claims he can understand him
Even tho Reigen doesnt. But it doesn't matter, because Mob finds comfort in his words and takes them to heart
Even if Reigen doesn't fully get it, even if he doesn't see the bigger picture, even if his advice isn't always the best
Eventually, Mob grows up, realises Reigen isn't as honest as he seemed through his 11 year old perspective, but like most things, he refuses to acknowledge it on a deeper level
Mob knows, but never tells Reigen, never thinks about what all those lies mean to him (ofc until he forces himself to face those doubts regarding Reigen, to properly acknowledge both of their flaws and accept them as they are, I should scream into the void about Confession Arc more God)
Due to his lack of trust in himself, Mob has relied on Reigen for years now to shape his moral compass, his thoughts, his decisions
Because well, Reigen lies, sure, but he isnt a bad person. When he hurts Mob, it isn't intentional or with ill intent, he still wants the best for him, what's the issue?
Except that it stunts Mob's growth. He doesn't develop as a person, doesn't have goals or wishes or ambitions, can't make choices on his own, he doesn't even let himself acknowledge his own emotions, he refuses to let himself exist
But Mob realises in time that he wants more than that, he wants to become better and be independent and feel again
Still, he puts the acknowledgement of the lies on hold for as long as he can, unwilling to question the way things are
This can make him feel a little naive, he constantly relies on Reigen and trusts his decisions and raises questions rarely until separation arc when he finally puts his foot down
And I do think that moment is the most resounding proof we have that Mob knows and allows himself to be used by Reigen, not wanting to shake the status quo, until he gets fed up
I mentioned the social ineptitude at the beggining but idk if I should even elaborate on that, you've watched the show, you know what I mean
He's blunt and can't read social cues or tonality that well and can't speak in front of crowds and is overall pretty awkward and I do think some people conflate that with naivety
Mob is still a child, he doesnt fully understand how the world works at the ripe age of 14 years old, but some folks take that as him being inherently naive/innocent/whatever which I don't find true
#ppl do a similar thing with seri but for different reasons but i do think in his case its worse cause thats a whole ass adult#anyway. i dont think im saying anything new i just wanted to ramble <3#i missed mobposting what can i say#ik i saw somebody talk about this in a more eloquent way but i doubt i could find the post cause i dont think i rbed it so rip#mp100#mob psycho 100#kageyama shigeo#that ova needs to come out already im going insane#cine te a intrebat#also hope i didnt come off as too negative towards reigen or smth#but like. my favourite part of confession is him saying (i didnt know!) LIKE YEAH. U DIDNT. LMAO.#ppl treat him as a bit too reliable sometimes and dont give him a lot of room to grow like Reigen isnt even 30 yet!! he aint that old!!#he still needs to get HIS own shit tgt before giving out advice just saying. also he totally doesnt understand mob fully. how can he??#he never mentions the incident with ritsu and considering mobs inclination of never telling anyone anything unless prompted#i doubt he knows... like reigen genuinely doesnt know the extent of mobs trauma!! when he said I Didnt Know he meant that shit!!!!!!#which is like. fine. cause to me whats important is how he always wants to protect mob and support him and help him#even if he doesnt always know how. even if advice backfires. hes always there and hes always trying and hes just as human and flawed as mob#himself#ig what im getting at is just that im bothered by the Flavour of reliable adult fandom is giving him. hes a lil pathetic and#fucks up sometimes and thats fiiiiiine. i feel like i talked shit about reigen but i do think hes a good guy and IS reliable just not in the#gives great advice way. but in the Knows How To Talk And Bullshit His Way Through Everything and Has Genuinely Good Intentions (usually)#and will throw away all of his self preservation if the situation requires him to. his advice is good but can be vague idk ONE rlly managed#to balance his pathetic side with his helpful reliable side and i dont think i articulated it the best way but like.... hes simultaneously#pathetic and sad but also the most sane and reliable adult in this show. rant over see u next time byeeee
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if you guys are going to post things about the new ii episode, please don't tag it with bfdi if there's nothing bfdi about it, or at least tag it with ii spoilers / ii 17 spoilers (or a spoiler tag. or multiple). just something please
(not mad! this is just a general request)
#wheucto#wheucto speaks#i think i saw spoilers#i'm going to terminally ignore whatever was it in and try to forget#i'm probably going to procrastinate watching the episode for a couple of days and i don't wan't to see spoilers for it#i did go into the bfdi tag and see a couple of tags marked for spoilers. and thanks for doing that guys!#i think its called cross...tagging? i don't know_ but sometimes people will tag both bfd| and || despite only being about one#and sometimes when it's not even about either_ just an osc post#it's mildly annoying but it's not like. bad or anything?#i'd prefer if people would tag the appropiate things (bfd| for bfd|_ || for ||... if you have ocs you can tag it osc...)#but i understand why people do it. i've even done it before#if you _are_ going to... crosstag? like that_ please just also tag spoilers if there are any!!!#unrelated but usually i don't mind spoilers Too much. || is just different it Jumpscares me or smth#no but it's like... i get a Feeling. that is a sort of negative feeling? i don't know how to describe it#not as in. a negative feeling bc i dislike the show. the opposite i think actually?#i dont know it's the only show i have that Feeling towards (that i can recall_ at least)#dont know what's up with that!#anyways random rambling sesison Over#actually let's veer back on topic. i'm probably going to stop checking the bfdi tag now#i think i was checking the bfdi tag when the trailer released? mightve done it when 16 released? but iunno
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viscerally upset by something that happened and now i have to decide if i want the mtt to go through the horrors and atrocities or if i want them to be happy and fluffy. neither will make me any less furious
#hey what happened wouldve lowkey been really really if i hadnt gotten lucky today#but at least AT LEAST i remember what immense rage feels like again so i can put that onto them#when in doubt mtt it out#im not as mad as i was before (distracting myself through the internet is a great coping mechanism)#me when i get to remember what it feels to be so mad at someone you'd fight until theyre knocked out or dead#me when i get any sort of life experience that allows me to better understand the murder time trio#life isnt real life is all just a way for me to better understand these 3#my anger is making me lean towards horrors and atrocities#but the other side of me (the side that just wants to relax) wants them to be happy#yeaaaah but i cant decide whether im angry or want to get over it#i will instead simply allow this feeling to fade away slowly until i am functional again#had an interaction today where i was like damn. this gives killer#i got a text from my brother that said hi and i was like ❓ and then he got mad that i was being rude or wtvr#and when he explained it to me i was just like dude. you NEVER text me unless you want/need something#smh im just getting to the point faster man no need for the formalities i already dont care#just tell me what you need me to do and leave me alone fuckass. this is a transaction not a friendly exchange#i dont CARE if this sounds mean im annoyed and i rarely feel anything negative so i want to capitalize on this#tricule rant
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picture me like a ffxiv minion running around in circles at very high speed I FEEL LIKE SUCH A BURDEN AHHYAAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! WAEEEHHH XD okay im good No im not i need to be euthanised
#KYAHAHAAAHHAH WOOOOOO I LOVE FEELING LIKE THIS!!!!! MY FAVOURITE THING YAYYYY I WISH I COULD BE ASLEEP RIGHT NOW !#but these dogs wont walk themselves & my mother hasnt fucking bothered walking them in the past two weeks except for One time TEEHEE!#i thinki hate myself rn can i say this? is this a safe sapce to express negative feelings toward myself#first headmate to ever say this im sooo special!!!! i shouldnt exist YAYYYY HAHAH YAYYYYYYYYYYY okay.. whatever#i have nooOOOO way of externalising how BAD im feeling without it being CONCERNING AT BEST!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOGLE HOW TO COPE!!!!#i feel so bad!!! SOO BAD! horrible! very very bad!!!! & i dont know if anything can help!! but its! FINE!!!!!!!#those are NORMAL emotions to be experiencing while pmsing my periods are NORMAL & NOT WEIRD & I AM A HEALTHY LOVELY BOY!!!#well ill be!!!!!!!!!!!! i need to lie down;
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not to sound like a quitter, but.
#wat do u do wen ur in iceland with two of ur best friends#but u cant fucking sleep#and u dont have any of ur creature comforts and by gods are u a creature of comfort#and u have no money#and youve put very little effort towards this trip and even less money lmao#like wow i have ppl who will just. buy me plane tickets and tour tickets and food#which is lovely but ultimately soul crushing#bc im going to spend the next four years repaying that#bc i cant get it the fuck together with my spending habits#like ffs im almost 30 and i keep spending my money like a 10yo who found $5 in the street#and cash doesnt feel like a real option in iceland#and unfortunately i also screwed myself by not getting my new credit card#there is. a lot of negativity in my brain rn.#yeah its bc im tired as shit but with the insomnia#like i would pretend to sleep bc i know its better than doom scrolling but fuck#my brain refuses to be distracted from the self loathing rn#2hrs of lying there and i was like okay ill read fic for a bit so i stop. Thinking.#but then i close my eyes and my brain just fucking flushes itself again#anyway. screaming. hollering. homesick.#i only have unhealthy coping mechanisms at this point and unfortunately my fave one is illegal here sooooo.......#might try buying a pack of smokes tmrw lmao#provided i dont find anything sharp first heyyo
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He won't leave my fucking friends alone.
#tales from diana#sorry this is about that bad friend i have to break up w that ive posted abt on and off the past couple weeks/months maybe#i still have to send him that final 'i dont wanna speak to you ever again'#ive been fucking busy ok. my summer has been full of family events and obligations#i have one brother getting married and the other having a baby!!! i have a LIFE and SHIT TO DO and PPL TO BE THERE FOR other than YOU!!!#i havent spoken to him in over 2 months too and he knows it's bc i don't want to#he's so difficult bc you can't fucking tell him the truth. you can't!!! he can't handle it!!! do you know how hard it is to handle???#the things i have to do to cut him off. because he doesn't respect normal fucking boundaries. make ME feel like im in the wrong#like im the shady person and the liar.#i can't drift from him bc hell pull me back#i can't communicate w him bc he won't hear anything i have to say he'll just turn it around & make it abt himself.#he literally does not understand ppl having motivations to do things that don't relate to him#and he has no sympathy for what he does to other ppl. nothing but self-pity for how they don't like him anymore.#if he dealt w someone who put him through half of what he put ME through. no he couldn't actually.#i only allowed him to manipulate me for so long because i cared abt him. who i thought he was.#and he just point blank period doesn't care about other ppl. so he could never go through what ive gone through w him.#i feel like all this friend breakup has proven to me is that im actually a good person and it can be used against me by ppl who arent#some fucking lesson i needed to learn huh?#i hate feeling as negatively towards anyone as i do towards him. it's so hard for me not to have at least#a little spark of hope deep down for everyone. even ppl ive removed from my life before. i dont HATE them#theyve disappointed me or insulted me or mistreated me but at least their motivations seemed simple and clear#and MOST of them seemed to understand SOMEWHAT that they were in the wrong#even if they don't admit it to me or still find an excuse to hate me. whatever#i can see them as ppl who might feel remorse someday and grow from it#i do not see it in this guy. bc if you have a problem w him he'll only make it 20 times worse.#he's so selfish it genuinely baffles me to think about it. and he's one of the least honest ppl ive ever known.#he'll never see the error of his ways. i do not believe he has that capacity.#and will i say none of this to him? no#im just going to say thanks for leaving me alone these past couple months. it's been good for me.#i don't think i can continue our friendship anymore for my own sake.
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#another day another therapy session for a girl who has everything i could only ever dream of 🤡#like i admit her family fucking sucks ngl#but idk if it's her being tone-deaf about this or if im just hypersensitive af on this topic but#'there's also this pressure to always be pretty and all' 'why tho like did your dad/mom ever comment on your looks?'#'well no haha not to be all braggy but there was never anything to comment on (negatively) yknow'#spoken to my face like oh right yeah well fuck me ig haha. once again reminded how different lives we live lol#and on top of this its this constant showing me that im being a bad friend to her which ig is true what with all my non responding to texts#but like. its like there is no real understanding towards me in turn. its like only she has problems and crippling mental issues#i dont call YOU out on your bullshit. i keep quiet and let you do and say whatever it is you need to make yourself feel better#even if it is actively capital H Hurting me and i come back home and end up sobbing in the pillow#and hating myself even more lol so cant you do the same and just take a deep breath and try to understand that i NEED a break sometimes#ANYWAY.#really feeling like scratching my face off my skull again
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being an older sibling is so bizarre. i cry myself to sleep and turn myself green over all the experiences and opportunities my sibling gets to have that i never ever will. but at the same time i would chew my own arm off to ensure my sibling gets the best life in the entire world and never, ever has to feel the way i feel and experience the pain i have felt.
#op#i dont think my younger brother even cares about me. hes unreachable. he doesnt even open my messages or dms or snaps.#i think he'd forget me as soon as he could. or after our mom dies. i think he'd rather forget he has any family at all.#and i get that. i grew up in the same broken home he did. but ive tried to love him. and at 22 i know i was already trying to be#a good sister. and now hes 22 and doesnt even try to talk. so. im not sure my opinion matters.#i'm not sure anything i feel about him matters. and i'd never hate him but i'm so bitter he got everything like the ivy league and the#friend groups and the studies abroad but he still isnt happy and he still doesnt want to be my brother. but i love him so much#that i hate myself for ever feeling negative towards him because my god all i ever wanted was for my baby brother#to get out of our home alive and well and he fucking did it.#its so fucking hard. its all so fucking miserable and hard.
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phone died so i couldn't post, but im gonna be like au speculating as i go through these and i want a good amount of them to be Somewhat rooted in canon? and man i gotta figure out whats just the erins being bad at establishing genuine connections between characters and a character genuinely being distant.
anyways is it just me or does bramblestar feel very distant from his children here
#he has a nice talk with alderpaw when he fails to catch anything on day 1 but he feels weirdly emotionless towards them?#i mean im a ''bramble is a bad dad to both litters'' truther but im wondering how much is like intentional#or me just looking too much into things#actually i wont take too many piss shots at the fandom here (too many)#but this person sucks so ill do it real quick. i actually think dr********r's au where brambles a bad dad to alder#is interesting in concept. like hes ashamed of his kid for not being a great hunter so he shoves him in the medicine den#and later into another clan#buuuuuut tbh i dont really like the way they went about it? like bramble berating alder in the den doesnt feel right#bramble is more the passive aggressive type i feel. at least in my au he is#sometimes more aggressive than passive but thats his main form of being towards his family#like. he doesnt physically abuse squilf. but he DOES berate and isolate her#and idk to his kids i guess him being verbally abusive would work for his character? but it doesnt feel right to me#i think if i had to go at that au itd be more like. bramble keeps negging his kid. getting at his skin#not talking to him in public even when alder calls out his name. downplaying his achievements#''oh. you finally caught a mouse. ok. thats good progress i suppose. keep at it''#idk subtle stuff like that that eats at alder's insecurities over and over and over until he snaps#and THATS when bramble snaps at him. then he pins the blame on alder for snapping first#and then he goes on about how alder is embarassing him and needs to ''go do something else''#and alder chooses to be a medicine cat on his own but its bc hes been worn down and is ashamed of his skills#rather than him being shoved in the den bc ngl i really dislike the idea that being a doctor is ass#and you go be a doctor when youre a failure at everything#if i had to do it id have alder deciding be one bc he feels like hes horrible at what his dad does#and maybe actually i wouldnt keep him as a medicine cat. idk why i dont like him being one but i dont. maybe ill see why later#but he decides its not for him and goes back to being a warrior without his dad breathing down his neck.#wait i was talking abt the shadowclan au. or he goes to shadowclan instead yippee#avos liveread
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bruh why is the plot of da2 stressing me out so much
#its so.................#like i dont even think it does a 'both sides are bad' thing#its generally more negative towards the templars#but the dialogue options are very black and white and so are the companions#it frustrates me that nobody seems to change their mind about anything#i like fenris and i get where his prejudice comes from but it's weird when playing a mage friendmance#like atp i feel like his romance should have been class locked or only the rivalmance be available for mages#cause it just doesnt make sense to me#I MEAN i guess some people would play anti-mage mages#but i am not lmao#anyways#i hate talking to meredith it makes me actively uncomfortable 💀#op
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,,,,
#im losing it a little bit and feel like crying but just *cant* and its making me irritated on top of wanting to cry#my last relationship... broke up with them 3 months ago didnt block them bc they owed me money (long story)#and now we're having this like- closure-ish/last conversation of our relationship (as in 'friendship')#and its been over the course of like a week now? bc we both take a day or more to respond#me bc i carefully write my msgs and make sure i hit every point i wanna make#them bc they just suck at responding and are online much less post breakup#and im the one who needs to respond now and ive been carefully thinking through our entire relationship from start to end#making sure i didnt miss anything important i want to say#and im realizing that i dont think they ever truly knew me#they made me feel very early on that i had to hide parts of myself because they were so unstable that just my negative emotions could push-#-them towards an anxiety spiral or even harming themselves#and idk how purposeful that was i dont think it was very intentional but regardless they made me feel that way#and because they only ever saw either the 'good' side of me or the very surface level bad days (like worrying about family acceptance)#i dont think they ever truly knew *me*#and instead they created this image in their head of me thats so perfect and on such a high pedestal#which only further my feeling of needed to hide the 'bad' parts of me#and its just- they've known me for like 4-5 yrs now. dated me for 2.5(?) of those. and they dont KNOW ME#and idk what to do with that.#it creates this really weird feeling in my chest and i dont know what to do with it#ive had friends in my life before who claimed to be so close to me but didnt actually know me at all#but they all had the excuse of being delusional about our relationship after only knowing me for 8 months bc they were school friends#but my ex? they knew me for ~4.5 *YEARS* they dont have that excuse. the only excuse if you can call it that is the fact they made me hide#what do i even do with this realization...#vent post
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i'm really happy to see more pushback against the idea that trans men are disposable or bad. trans dudes are an essential part of the queer community and the way chunks of the queer community punish men and masculinity is shitty. at the same time, the way that gets extrapolated to say that there can be no spaces without men, ever, and everyone has to love and embrace and trust all men wholeheartedly is like....i don't know.
it's just wild to hear the same people who would insist that trans people have a right to distrust cis people, have a right even to hate them, then swear up and down that women who want any spaces without men in them are evil oppressors. the poor get to say "eat the rich!" but a woman who's experienced gendered abuse dares to mutter "men ain't shit" and she needs to be expelled and berated and made an example of. i've even seen it in the context of women and fems talking about the patriarchy and the harm it does to women getting hijacked to accuse the people having the discussion of being evil misandrist terfs who need to shut the fuck up about gendered oppression lest they harm some hypothetical trans men.
it doesn't seem meaningless that it's women (particularly trans women!!!) who are being told they're not allowed to be anything short of kind and loving and patient and forgiving to all men at all times. surely there's a space between "all men are evil and trans men are men and so trans men all deserve to be hated and isolated from communities" and "women who distrust men or want women-only spaces or so much as acknowledge the oppression that the patriarchy and men inflict upon them are horrible bitches who need to shut up and smile."
#rain speaking!#ugh i dont know#im trans and most of my friends are trans mascs but ive also been sexually harrassed by trans dudes and cis dudes alike#i dont love the idea that women (and etc. u know what i mean) are not allowed to have any spaces without men in them#that women are not allowed to feel distrust towards men#like. cmon. how come every other oppressed group gets to have spaces for them and angry feelings towards their oppressors#but women and fems arent allowed to be angry or mean or anything short of endlessly loving and accepting#and its SUUUCH an easy way to shut down at talk of misogyny and the structural and individual oppression women face#if any negative talk abt men as a group is shot via someone going 'how dare u bully trans men!'#we can talk abt the problems with how trans men are treated in the queer community without#reverting to the misogynistic idea that women must be gentle and forgiving at all fucking times#including and especially about the harm that Men As A Group inflict on them
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I salute to you and thank you for your service 🫡😔
u guys weren’t there in 2018 fighting the atreus annoying and useless allegations like i was. i was on the front lines
#(long rant ahead) i wasnt but i can imagine how terrible it first was#then it got worse for those sticking around since 2018 with rag coming out UGH#atreus/angrboda fans will always have to be battling it seems 😔#I lurk a bit so ive seen older reactions to him and im just like man! who knew an 11 yr old is 11!#idk being a new fan i have a completely different outlook on everything so i dont hold the same contempt as others do#alot of this “fandom” intentionally ignores things bc they dont care and thats fine or whatever but if u dont care for anything or anyone#outside of kratos why are u around 😭😭#Like we are no longer there anymore bro he has a home with family thats alive and thriving#The extreme negativity is one of the reasons why i was hesitant to be here in the first place#Not the first fandom and probably not the last im associated with but this one i think is the first one where i genuinely feel everyone#is miserable with EVERYTHING.#Matter of fact i dont even consider myself part of the fandom LOL#Im just here enjoying what i enjoy#It really sucks liking a character(s) thats almost universally hated for some(dumb) reason#Like… everyone is just negative and i see that even on twitter to the point i just have to mute/block ppl.#I dont tend to care (or try not to care) abt things like this but i dont think ppl realize being in that state can leak into#Smth you dont want. Yes not everything is glitters and butterflies but to stay in that negative mindset is just crazy to me.#ESPECIALLY over a fucking VIDEOGAME CHARACTER like girl bye😭😭😭#I have my own gripes with my other fave games and fandoms i been in but this fandom takes the cake of being a drag#Sms taking a lot of risks and continue trying with atreus gives me hope for him and angie. Idk what theyll do with them#From here on out but they realize no matter what they do its gonna get some level of hate.#I dont even know if ill like their characterization next game either but with what ive seen so far i think they are in good hands.#Im sorry for the really long rant you guys i just needed to say this LOL#When it comes to atreus/angrboda i get a bit passionate but also since sunny/laya are around my age and knowing how gamers are#Its just really aggravating seeing shit like this#Not to say i cant get crazy myself (cuz i can im ngl) but alot of times i just have to take a step back and BREATHE.#Theres a small change ive seen with the hate towards them (ppl have been getting kinda annoyed with it since thats all they talk abt)#But collectively i hope one day ppl genuinely like them. Not out of pity or anything either. But bc they enjoy their characters :)#Im manifesting that it will happen LOL#manifesting all good things towards atreus/angrboda🕯️🕯️🕯️
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overanalyzing everything i do would solve 99.99% of my problems methinks
#cw vent#DONR READ IF U DONT WANT MY SAD EMO STUFF PSLSPSPSL#ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ idle chit chat#gusy dont mind me ok im back with my overthinking nothing special<3 HELKJKH#im too hard on myself i think aha#hashtag people pleaser problems#i dont like how i aim to please people instead of focusing on what will be better for me#like this is more of an irl problem rather than online yk#for all of my life ive just been so so passive and lenient#i was so scared of my family expressing any negative feelings towards me that i basically became less like a human and more like a doll#i didnt speak that much . never really complained about anything . and took what i was given#and it has impacted me so fucking much#they werent kidding when stuff like this usually starts in your own home aha#but yeah man#i just feel like if i dont act a certain way or paint myself to be this certain kind of friend nobody would care for me#when will i ever be comfortable and happy as who i truly am i wonder?#idek if this makes sense tbh im just writing thought LMAO#but usually my thoughts contradict each other . but everything makes sense at the same time . so its kinda hard to type down without not mak#ing any sense LMAOO
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'huh... You have abandonment issues? I thought that was usually something you got from childhood trauma. Were you abandoned as a child?'
Me, trying not to cry: haha, not in the usual sense?
#miranda talking shit#I never .... Thought i was outright abandoned but the more i think about it... Uh i may fall under that category#I mean i probably felt abandoned... Emotionally? By dad i was he was never around even if we shared house#But even by my mom who i love to death... When i was hurt both hit physically and emotionally she never... Did much to help me#So i probably felt abandoned. It might be why i actually didnt tell my mom anything important until i was 15+?#I always loved her and i dont blame her or have any ill will towards her but... I uh. Yeah i definitely felt alone in the sense no one#Protected me against the abuse i got so my survival tactic for that was... Dont open up to anyone bc they wont help or care anyway#Always try to appease everyone/be liked so they don't hurt you or leave. I mean im no expert but i dont think this is too crazy of a theory#I actually never considered it until i got asked this... And i looked at my past through that lens. I know my trauma was thanks to my#Siblings abuse for years. But i... Never considered WHY i have some typw of abandonment issues... And now im like uh#Oh i guess ... I was somehow abandonment... If not physically emotionally.... When i needed to be seen and protected#Ah... Oh ... Uh... I dont know how to feel about this... I always feel bad about calling my past ... A trauma or something bc i feel#Others have had it much worse. But i also dont know what else to call my childhood experience like... I was definitely constantly terrified#Never felt at ease or safe at home or at school... My mom was my safe space but she still couldnt protect me#Or rather she didn't see or understand i needed it? I dont think she thought it was as bad as i felt it was. Bc i never said what they said#Or did. I just cried... So she probably just thought they did some lighthearted teasing and i was a sensetive child#But uh... Instead i was hit and was put in unsafe situations bc they told me to do things. And the constant shit i was told#Hearing i was a fat ugly idiot who could not do anything right and i was basically a waste of space... Since i was 4 yrs old... I uh#I thought that was a fact. I still believe thats true. Yeah no i... /:#Negative
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Astrology notes pt.3
Autumn edition (spiritual)🍂
🥀 12th house ruler in 1st house can make an individual see ghosts/spirits. If ruler is in 3rd house, this can even go as far as being able to communicate with them.
🥀IC in Scorpio and especially if ruler of ic is in Scorpio, it can mean that that person has a long line of witches in their family, Pluto also needs to have significance in the placement.
🥀Jupiter in Scorpio/8th house individuals please keep your goals and manifestations to yourself and don’t be spreading them to people. As luck follows you if you keep accomplishments and your plans to your self.
🥀7th house ruler in 0 degrees, your have met your future spouse in a past life/lives and this can be a very spiritual and fulfilling connection. can feel out of this world and its literally your soul just trying to find this person to meet again.
🥀 suns ruler in 6th house can make an individual more prone to colds/ being cold all the time (since the 6th house is the house of ill health and the ruler in the 6th house or having connections to the 6th house reverses the hot represented by the sun into cold). also the sun rules over the heart and blood and so this tends to make a person have weak blood/cold blood.
🥀another observation to do with being ill, the scariest can be not knowing that you are ill which can be depicted from having uranus in the 6th house. the individuals with this placement can seriously suffer from unknown illnesses and may experience difficulty with health but not be diagnosed as it may not even exist. especially, can experience unknown symptoms and their body can seriously act almost foreign when it comes to illness.
🥀mars in cancer people, i dont know if people talk about this or not but i have noticed that his placement irritates people unknowingly and they may not even do anything wrong. but i think its because this placement goes with the flow and are unbothered by things and people pick up on that and may recognised how they cant be controlled and hence the anger towards them. also this placement can trigger people unconsciously.
🥀11th house ruler in 8th house can attract a lot of people with paranormal experiences. they may also connect with those with paranormal interests,
🥀 moon trine venus individuals value and experience heavy nostalgia. they can tend to associate smells, noise, scenery etc with memories that they had with certain people.
🥀 in vedic astrology, if 7th house ruler is in pisces, this can indicate dreaming of your future spouse before even meeting them. so you literally can predict your meeting, their appearance etc with your dreams.
🥀 having venus in 12th house synastry with someone can indicate dreaming of them constantly. the house person especially can feel the severity of the spiritual connection between them romantic or not.
🥀 people dont actually talk about ketu in the 1st house as often. in my opinion it is one of the most spiritual placements you can have. this placement allows the individual to have unique experiences in life that usually indicates an intense connection to themselves and the spiritual realm. another thing i have noticed with this placement is that they feel like the odd one out which strengthens their relationship with themselves in a very spiritual level.
🥀mars in gemini people should work with a form of smoke- incense, wind etc. especially to relieve from stress or negativity. this can also be used while decluttering your space, meditating etc.
🥀 rahu in 7th house in your chart can indicate lessons being repeated in your life and this is especially related to one to one interactions with people. you can experience a lot of deja vu also with this placement.
🥀 speaking of deja vu, jupiter trine uranus can indicate experiencing deja vu also. but this placement can give a predicting sense to it so you can dream of something and it happens in real life but can happen multiple times also as jupiter is expanding the possibilities of the occurrence.
🥀 venus in pisces/trine jupiter individuals can have a soul deep connection with music.
🥀 pluto in 4th house can have an almost forbidden connection to their ancestors. this can translate in many ways such as not knowing much about them or literally not being in contact with any of them but craving the need to. on the other hand, you may not know it but your ancestors may quietly and subtly be by your side but may not want to be in contact with you.
🥀 continuing with the pluto talk, pluto in the 12th house can attract a lot of unknown and hidden obsessive people. you may not even know the people but they know you. its creepy but this can indicate having stalkers.
🥀 in vedic astrology, if you have your sun as your atmakaraka (highest degree) in your chart, you may enjoy summers-the sun a lot. sunny weather or during the hotter months, you can experience more memorable occurrences. the hotter months are almost like a recharge for your soul.
🥀 okay, i have found no blogs talk about dashas in vedic astrology. BUTTTT i find them to be very accurate and useful. as for me when i was going through a spiritual breakthrough i was in a jupiter mahadasha which is no surprise since jupiter rules spiritualism, wisdom, knowledge. (there is so much more depth in it but i think I'm going to do a post about it seperately because it is soo accurate).
once again, appreciate everyone who reads this and if you do know that you are loved and have a lovey day🤍😊
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