#and i dont . want to go thru that again.
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satangcrush · 1 month ago
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not the same anon as before but am also searching for om fanfic scraps
please drop some more author recs 🥹🥹🥹
hi nonnie!!! here are some more (i got tired of typing like half way through so some of them are short in description but i truly recc all of these authors okay!!!! also all sfw unless stated otherwise) <3
@aspiringtrashpanda : my recent discovery and love love her writing so much. do check out her obey me month, as well as her masterlist here
@devildom-dedicated-daydreams : suggestive content; this is just a blog dedicated to one fanfic but i highly recommend if you're into like those manhuas/manhwas with secondary character who gets revenge with a system in place. (brain kinda stopped so just check out their work on tumblr or AO3.)
@leviathans-watching : they have a variety of fandoms, so if ure multifandom, u can check out their pinned post for more. if you're only interested in obey me, you can check out their masterlist!
@demonfamilytherapist : i actually got recommended this account from a reblog on the previous ask but i havent had the time to go through their works. but here is their masterlist for reference <3
@shabootldoo : they write for a multitude of fandoms which you can check out in their pinned post, but if you're only interested in obey me, they specialise in writing for character/character (e.g. Solotan, SoloSim, etc etc)
@once-in-a-blood-moon : love jo's brain and im always having fun reading her thoughts (especially as a solomon enjoyer) and you can check out her sfw masterlist here and nsfw masterlist here
@obeythebutler : rosh has many many works for you to check out from one-shots to headcannons to series! you're in for a ride <3 this is their masterlists here (do note that there is nsfw work here so DNI if ure a minor, thank u)
@eraofkalki : vee doesnt have a masterlist yet but im tagging her works here for you to have easy access - young master, solomon's paradox, cor meum
@elsecrytt (NSFW): they havent written for the obey me fandom in a hot minute but i do come back to their masterlist from time to time to READ
@three-realms-archive : one of the first few blogs that i followed when i made mine <3 they do a variety of content too from oneshots, short snippets, hcs and series! they have quite a bit of work so you'll def have fun checking out their masterlist
@books-and-catears : another one that was recommended in a previous reblog on the last ask. i also havent had much of a chance to check them out but this is their masterlist for reference!
@obae-me : they have some nsfw works but they are tagged as such! they do both HCs as well as longer works here. have fun checking out their works hehehe
@meggs-wonderland : they have a mixture of both NSFW and SFW, so do check it out at your discretion :> this is their masterlist , they also do self-ships if ure interested to check it out!
@zephyrchama : if you love writers who specialises in comedy, they're the one for you. their writing always gets a chuckle out of me and i also want to applaud their effort for revamping their masterlist because theres so many works that they have written so far
@mochatsin : this was also another creator that was recommended in the previous ask and i also havent had the chance to check out their works but this is their masterlist
@denpa-dere : was recommended by @/zephyrchama in the replies, do note that they do both NSFW & SFW content! just binged their house arrest series (NSFW!) in the morning lol. (great read, 10/10 recc) this is their masterlist for reference
@thebellearchives : also recc by @/once-in-a-blood-moon!! this is their masterlist for reference, they have a mix of NSFW and SFW as well as write for JJK and Trigun if you are interested in these fandoms as well :>
here are a variety of other accounts that dont really write fics but i enjoy reading/browsing as well <3
@akuzonprime : the blurbs are very cute and i hope u take the chance to go through their account!
@obeymeinfo : they post character (outfit?) sprites of the characters and its a great place to look at, if you are looking for a particular outfit hehe
@devildom-fashion-week : they archive the character battle outfits and voicelines hehe, if ure ever looking for a particular outfit (to write or draw), highly recommend checking them out
@sheepthatgobaa : highly entertaining art. 10/10 recommend. also your token luke fan. (Familial btw. Do not Perceive Kelo Wrongly.) anyways she does a lot of requests too for fanart and it’s always so funny ehheheheh
@enoe-of-noen : they have a variety of content on their blog, from art, to fic, to hcs to, whatever you are looking for, they most probably have it HAHAH you can check out their pinned post here
@featheredcrowbones : love vy's art so im adding them in too lol but do check out their art tag!!!!!
@marsvlog : so actually im also a fan of mystic messenger and seeing their pinned post of belphie and saeran artwork (made me a little feral but i digress) so if ure a fan of both fandoms, ure in for a treat hehe
@dailyraphael : my daily serotonin for fanart of raphael + bonus of cute artstyle yes
@devildomwriter : theyre a great account to check out, they do quotes, lesson summaries, writing, and a plethora of other things!!! i especially love the obey me cast as cats series that they currently have going on.
@solomams : if youre looking for someone who's dedicated to their ocs + solomon & mammon, look no further because lupe is here to save the day
@yoyvmii : also does fanart for multiple fandoms but her mammon in boothill’s outfit artwork lives in my head rent free yes
@nevvn : was recommended by @/once-in-a-blood-moon in the reblog! love love love their solomon drawings, this is my personal fav from them
@solomiracle : was also rec by @/once-in-a-blood-moon! how could i have forgotten abt this, It's one of the staples of the solomon lover community! also what I love abt them is that they consistently reblog old artworks/works of obey me and its always pleasant seeing these artworks floating around again~
@starry-miki : recc by @/once-in-a-blood-moon!!! i did a customary scroll through the account and omg the marketable plushies artwork is so cute LOL, I also love this solomon artwork of theirs, its so pink and he's so cute lol
@sane-omblog : recc by @/in-the-bushes-miki! another one that I forgot to include lol. anyways love their art style, its so cute and whimsical!! (sidenote, i was rooting for teenage satan to win the poll but the art of baby satan was so cute that I was like yeah nvm)
@susujelly : another one recc by @/in-the-bushes-miki! its my first time seeing the account but the pinned post of solomon as the cat made me lol'ed so hard
@afraidofbee : also recc by @/in-the-bushes-miki! also another one that I forgot to include again lol, love seeing their posts of sheep!MC just absolutely getting up to mischief. and the artstyle is super endearing and this is one of my recent favs from them
+ some others i want to recc but I forgot in my initial post so im adding them as I go (im def forgetting people again lol): @bearakero : only posts about thirteen!! love love seeing fanarts of thirteen and this is my personal fav, just think that u do so much justice to her!
guys my brain died btw
Edit #1: guys wait let me self promo also lol hahahahah um my writing blog is @satanghulu if u wanna check me out 💖 okay fr bye
edit #2: this is the previous post if you are still looking for more writers in the fandom!
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suntails · 1 year ago
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skunkes · 1 month ago
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cheswirls · 5 months ago
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set of drabbles i did for @februairy's cute badminton au :)
-
"what do you mean you have us in different rooms?!"
"exactly what i said." shanks raises his hands to rest on his hips as he puts his metaphorical foot down. "this is an important competition, and i need you both to be all-in, one hundred percent. that means no needless distractions."
he raises his index finger when sabo opens his mouth to argue. "none of that. i've given you my reason and your only choice. unless you'd rather find somewhere else to stay on your own dime?"
sabo's mouth snaps shut. this time, when shanks offers him the room key, sabo wordlessly swipes it from his hand. he picks his training bag back up off the floor and storms away further inside the gym, muttering over his shoulder about getting in more reps while everyone else goes out to eat.
it's to blow off steam, so shanks doesn't say anything against it. hopefully the extra exertion will clear sabo's head.
-
when sanji opens the door to his hotel room, he finds his doubles partner on the other side instead of his assigned roommate. he can't help the surprise that pulls across his face. "what about sabo?"
"he kicked me out!" usopp exclaims, going from looking bashful to suddenly being very indignant – literally kicking the air. "then he made me switch him room keys!" his hand falls away from his suitcase handle so it teeters on its own to stay upright on the plush hallway carpet. "do you see what the problem is with that? it wasn't even his room to dictate what happens in!"
his other hand slides away from the strap to his overnight bag, essentially leaving both arms free to cross over his chest. "but if anyone asks, ace told me to say it was actually him that did all this. like anyone would believe that, hm? ace wasn't the one who stormed off earlier when we all got room assignments."
no, but he did stay behind to deal with his petty princess, sanji drily thinks as he finally holds the door open wider. usopp slouches where he stands and moves inside with all his luggage.
"well, look on the bright side, hm? neither of us has to deal with having a roommate that wants to be with someone else."
usopp nods wordlessly, still feeling prickly and dejected both at once. "really i'm just glad there's no cover story i have to keep up with. at least we won't have to deal with the fallout."
neither of them mention that it probably won't be an issue at all, because when shanks is personally traveling and organizing his athletes, his oversight is notably lax most of the time. it's not like he'll come upstairs to personally check everyone is where they're supposed to be for the night. aside from the grief given at the beginning, it's over now, for all intents and purposes.
besides, he'd meant what he said. he'd much rather room with usopp than have to deal with the world's most pouty prima-donna for the next four days.
-
sabo puts his arms in the sleeves of his pullover and then stretches them above his head in a last attempt to pop his spine. he's not given a chance to lower them and shrug the rest of the pullover on because ace comes up behind him and sags into his still-arched back.
sabo carefully resists a forming shudder when he feels ace's arms worm around his middle, fingers immediately roving along his sides. "ace, we really should go down to eat breakfast," he tries.
"gimme one more minute," ace mumbles into the back of sabo's jersey. "i need more sabo time to myself before we have to go out in public."
sabo snorts, because it's not like they'll be coming right back up or anything. he's not stuffing his feet into anything but slide-ons before 10AM if he can help himself. and he doesn't want to deal with bringing any of their practice stuff downstairs if they're not immediately going to leave.
his attempt at thinking of a snappy reply fails when ace's lips start working up the back of his neck. sabo does shudder this time, back finally relaxing from the unnatural position, and his arms come down from overhead to land lightly on ace's own. "ace, c'mon. let's go get food."
ace releases him to finish getting dressed himself, leaving sabo alone to resume putting his light jacket on. his commentary still filters over to sabo, though, both unnecessary and unwarranted.
"we could just go out to eat. there's that bakery down the road along the way to the training facility, and the woman who owns it likes watching us compete."
"we're trying to save money," sabo reminds him lightly, then smirks as he recalls exactly what they're saving money for. "hotel breakfast is free. if you want something specific later, we can nag shanks into taking everyone to eat again."
he opens the door for ace and doesn't attempt to decipher ace's mumbling after being met with a dull look. it was probably about how they could've gone to eat last night (or at least ace could have, if he hadn't offered to stay late with sabo) and sabo's better off leaving the exact wording of such a mystery.
but he does tune back in once they're in the elevator, ace speaking a bit louder and from a bit closer when he wonders aloud if they'd get something for free from the bakery if they let it slip that they're engaged now.
sabo puts an elbow in his side before the elevator doors can slide shut.
-
"you're late" are the first words koala says to sabo that morning when he sets his food tray down in front of the modest table she's claimed. she's said it for the sole purpose of riling him up and it works. she looks on in amusement when he pulls his chair out more harshly than intended.
"there's no set meal schedule, dearest, but thanks for grinding my gears. i can always count on you for that."
koala puts a hand over her heart. "what are friends for?"
sabo sits down heavily and leans into the backrest of the chair with a long-drawn sigh. "yeah, well, if you want someone to blame, then it's totally ace's fault for not getting up."
koala raises a brow at the wording. come to think of it, she had watched the two of them walk into the dining hall together. "you stayed with him? how'd you manage that? didn't you send me a whole long angry text last night about shanks being a literal demon from hell?"
"i switched rooms," sabo bites, throwing his head back to say this as snootily as possible. (ugh. it's too early for her to deal with this attitude from him.) "it's fine. shanks obviously doesn't understand the needs of teammates who are together romantically, so i just corrected his mistake on my own."
"and does he know about this correction?"
sabo purses his lips and ducks into his small bowl of porridge. "no," he mumbles.
"your 'needs' huh?" koala prods, smirking when sabo glances back up at her. she raises a brow instead of verbally asking the question.
sabo rolls his eyes and stabs his spoon back into the pile of mush. "we didn't do anything like that."
"like what?" ace pipes up, finally within hearing distance. when sabo only shrugs his shoulders, he wordlessly looks past his head to koala, but she only seals her lips. "well, glad you two are having fun with your secrets," he mildly snarks.
he pulls out a chair next to sabo and slides into it. "i still think we should've hit the bakery instead, by the way. the sesame cookies are already out, and when i asked, a server told me they were done making them for the day!"
"could've woken up earlier," sabo mutters. then, louder, "and we're still trying to save money."
"hah!" ace leans back precariously in his seat, ignoring his plate of cannoli to be petulant. "so when you want something, it's suddenly a necessary expense, but when i do the same it's a waste of money to even consider?"
"yes, that's right!" sabo proclaims haughtily, stabbing his spoon back into his breakfast. across from them, koala can't help but laugh at their comedy performance.
"aren't you used to him being this way by now?" she asks ace when ace glares at her. she also reaches into her bag at the same time to pull out a collection of thumb-sized cookies she has wrapped in a napkin. "you're lucky i'm so thoughtful," she says to him before he can get out a retort, offering him the small handful of the same sweets he'd been complaining about not getting to eat. "and that i thought of you earlier when i saw these and realized how quickly they were going."
"you're right, i completely forgive you and love you," ace rushes to say as he accepts the gift. at his side, sabo purses his lips and huffs at the wording, but ace ignores him completely in favor of tossing a small cookie into his mouth. "you're literally the best."
koala inclines her chin, leering over at sabo when he happens to look up at her. "i'm the best," she gloats.
she should have expected sabo to snap at some point, yet the heel suddenly digging into her shin makes her realize she'd thought of this a tad too late.
-
"oh, that? i can tell you about that," robin says to sanji and usopp during lunch. she'd heard an abridged version from koala earlier of the conversation she'd had with sabo that morning. "shanks found out those two got engaged recently and thought rooming them together would be a needless distraction."
that's the short of it, but it sure does paint matching looks of surprise on both of the athletes sitting across from her. they've both paused with food halfway to their mouths. she chuckles at the sight, hiding her open lips behind one hand.
"oh," both of them say simultaneously. then, from just sanji, "ok, yeah, i'd be pissed too. what a dick move. that's a valid reason."
"how long have they been engaged?" usopp asks around a bite of his sandwich. "was that supposed to stay a secret?"
"i don't think so, it just hasn't been too long," robin assures him. "i actually don't know the specifics. you'll have to direct your inquiries to either of them."
"yeah, no thanks," usopp mutters. "if shanks nearly had his head bitten off, i'd hate to see what happens to me."
"well, he did incite them," sanji reminds him. "i'm sure ace wouldn't mind telling us."
he specifically says ace because they both know he's the more easy-going of the pair, and also when sabo is confronted with something he doesn't want to share, he immediately becomes the world's most frigid ice queen.
"sabo might be happy to spill details, if you catch him at the right time," robin mentions. "it's his engagement too. i wouldn't be surprised to learn he's more excited than ace."
alright, yeah, that's a good counter-point to consider. both sanji and usopp think that over.
"after dinner?" usopp suggests.
"no, neither of them drink during a competition." sanji shakes his head. "maybe after the plane ride back home? if he's too tired, he might reveal something without thinking on it."
"if he's too tired, he just won't give us the time of day," usopp counters.
"what about after they win this week?" robin suggests.
which. is a good idea, in theory. but they would have to win, which is not a one-hundred percent guarantee.
but it is something to think over.
-
koala bites on her lip and sags into sabo's side again to bemoan her fate. below them, the current women's singles match-up is their own teammate reiju versus an athlete from sweden. "how can someone look so hot while sweating so much?" she says, completely aghast.
she makes the mistake of glancing up at him after saying this, bearing witness to the large smirk taking up his face. he opens his big mouth and already she knows she wants no part in this. "well–"
"yeah, i don't need unnecessary commentary from the man with a boyfriend," she gripes, leaning off of him. thankfully, sabo shuts his mouth and only shrugs, still looking smug but at least remaining silent about it. "speaking of which, where did ace go? wasn't he just here?"
sabo looks to his other side to confirm ace has indeed disappear. he looks miffed at this but keeps his answer perfectly indifferent. "how should i know? i'm not his keeper."
"you're right, he's just yours," koala says before she can help himself. sabo gasps, completely and justly indignant, and the look on his face is the perfect reward for ruffling his feathers again.
-
koby notices ace and sabo from the distance, but it takes him getting closer and a moment of observation to realize they're monitoring their competition and not merely engaged in conversation.
because from further back, it does look like something different. he stops short to watch ace wrapping an arm around sabo's back, tugging him closer with a hold around his middle. from the angle koby is to them, he can see ace gesturing down to the court with his other hand. they're both talking quietly with their heads huddled close together.
casual intimacy between doubles partners is nothing new, but koby can't help but add another mental notch to the running total he has in his head telling him this is another moment between this specific pair that qualifies more as pda.
he's kept this count going since the olympics ended, when he'd first begun to notice the change in the pair's affection for each other. it's not relative or important, really, but sometimes he can't turn off his observant eye. not for the first time, he thinks about asking after it in an unofficial capacity. maybe if it's off-the-record, they'd tell him if something had changed.
before he can think more on this, someone is calling out to him. specifically, someone says "hey four-eyes!" and from experience and the cadence, koby knows it's luffy before he turns around to acknowledge the athlete.
"hi," he greets luffy a bit lamely, still caught up in his thoughts. "you have another match?"
"no, i'm done for the day," luffy reveals. "i'm just sticking around to watch ace and sabo." he pointedly looks over koby's shoulder to see the duo not far away, realizing koby had been facing that direction. "do i need to get them for you?"
"oh, no, that's fine," koby insists, raising both hands to wave luffy's suggestion off. he peers over his shoulder as well, noting that the pair are even closer together than they were before, and quickly turns back to face luffy. "they, uh, look preoccupied as-is. i'd hate to ruin their concentration."
luffy looks at the pair again and takes koby's words into account. "oh, they're always like that now."
now implies that something has changed recently, though koby's not hell-bent on knowing anymore. the distance between the four of them isn't large, and he'd hate to be overheard, even if he is still curious.
luffy steamrolls along, though, not realizing the gravity of the situation. "probably because they're getting married soon? they've been a lot more touchy-feely since getting engaged."
sirens blare in koby's head, and he has to resist the temptation to look back behind him again. "oh, ok," he says, suddenly overwhelmed. that does make sense. it is a good explanation. it's also probably something he should not be privy to, especially if it's a recent development.
luffy must realize this too, because he perks up and grabs koby by both his shoulders. "i'm saying this to you as my friend, koby, not as a journalist."
"yeah, i got it," koby wheezes. "you can trust me. i won't say a word."
-
"maybe we should come back to korea," ace says at the end of their stay. they're both outside on the veranda, some light alcohol still in either of their glasses though neither are keen on finishing it off. it had been a celebratory move that both are regretting, especially with the summer heat bearing down on them. even in the dark of night, the blush on sabo's fair-skinned cheeks is still evident.
"after the season is over," ace says aloud, though they both know the implication. after we get married, he means. "we can book a room at the shilla and sight-see for a few days. or just chill in there. not like there's a lack of things to do."
sabo had been about to reply, but at the mention of the luxury resort hotel, he chokes. gasping for breath, he swallows the rest of his champagne in an attempt to quickly recover. "isn't that just a tad too expensive??"
"eh, we can splurge a bit." ace shrugs, then grins over at sabo. "it'll be another thing to save up for. if you want to."
"well i don't not want to," sabo admits, which is progress. as long as he's considering the possibility, that's good enough for ace.
"they even have their own bakery inside," ace adds, which only makes sabo groan.
"will you let that go already?"
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codacheetah · 3 months ago
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It's deeply important to me that Loop kind of sucks
#they are literally awesome but they do kinda suck. just a tad#mostly as in i keep thinking about lucabyte's comics. they are critical to me#i love isat's postcanon as a space to explore recovery and communication#but sometimes you kind of have to drag urself through glass to get there. sometimes the glass sticks in ur skin and makes u prickly#i think constantly about like. loop being surprised by siffrin's kindness if u choose to be nice to them in certain dialogue options.#remarking about how time has made them jaded more than he is#loop is fundamentally kind. but they are scantly ever 'nice'#i think if loop joins the party it's inevitable that they are going to make each other bristle up#loop has a difficult time with all of the party members. between the guilt and the loss and them just not being capital s Siffrin#and to the party who only knows loop from one interaction and siffrin's apparent care for them i think loop would come off. abrasive at bes#like. like i dont think loop would act the same with the party that they do siffrin. their mask is very Piss Siffrin Off specialized#but how much of ur persona is an act and how much of it is yourself. or whatever. loop wouldn't want to be mean to their friends sure#but it's much easier not to hurt if you wedge some distance. no better way to get that distance by being offputting. i think isabeau esp#would get the brunt of this. poor man#plus there's just hte general fact that like. nobody likes the feeling of talking to somebody who clearly knows too much about them. who#will never show their own cards. added with the fact that there's just an inherent strangeness w loop. where they have a relationship to#siffrin thru the loops that none of the party members will ever grasp (and in a way they cant even guess frankly!)#i just have a hard time seeing loop's assimilation into the party as going smooth and nice. you know. i think the party members would think#that loop kinda sucks a little. i think loop would let them think this. all of this being said this is not irreconcilable or permanent#but i like there to be growing pains for the party's expansion. i won't even get into nille bc this aint abt her but yah#the lucky thing loop is you made friends with a lot of really nice people who would being willing to get to know you again.#isat spoilers
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago
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2023 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso
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lokh · 7 months ago
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oughh i wanted to do a cute laishuro take on the blu ray extras (what if laios had been eaten instead) but lets be honest. they absolutely would not have made it as far without laios
#they wouldve died. badly.#unfortunately ive lost the link saw it on twitter but i think laios gets knocked unconscious and imagines that it had been him that got ate#and not falin. and falin is the only one to advocate for them going back#but no one wants to go along with her presumably because they dont care for laios that much#(or at least this is laios' perception as this is just his imagination)#but also because she doesnt know as much about monsters and couldnt come up with a good argument for going back in#<- didnt know about prolonged digestion in red dragons and marcille assumed the interval was the same as in humans (1-3 days)#BUT...................... when everyone leaves falin turns back and goes in herself. and laios realises that shes always been that sort#of person and theres no point in ruminating over what could have been.#now. i want to believe that had they known falin would turn back without them. that at the very least shuro would have gone in with her.#theres no way he would have let her go on her own. and frankly i dont think he would have assembled his retainers#to go save laios rip...#marcille would have gone if she had known falin would turn back. and honestly i think she mightve known her well enough to guess this irl#anyways what i was GOING to say was maybe as they venture thru the dungeon shuro gets to learn more about laios thru falins view#maybe they get to know each other more and he opens up more about how he thinks of laios and like. falin is able to explain more about him#diffuse tension and give him a better understanding. like yeah hes still annoyed at him but he has a better view of how laios is#they get close and become better friends but maybe it also helps falin make up her mind and let him down gently............................#and maybe they go and save laios but the dragon thing still happens to him#and its again a 'you felt like that all along??' situation irt him wanting to be a monster but it turns out ok and they (laishuro)#open up to one another in the end.........................#but. again im gonna be real. they would not have made it that far LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO laios the goat for real
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bunnihearted · 1 month ago
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🫖🐭☁️🍚
#so i did ​meet my old friend from years ago yesterday. i was sooooo nervous omgggg. and i was waiting outside the café we agreed on#and then saw them walk in and i was like omgggg. the anxiety... but then i gathered courage and walked towards it and thry saw me thru the#window and came out and immediately hugged me. then they were like 'omg i've been so nervous. even more than before like a date!!'#so that made me relax a bit. i feel like i dont really fully estimate what i mean to them. maybe they care about me as well haha !!#then we just got our stuff and i chose a smoothie and was ready to pay but they just got it with their stuff (they work at this chain so#they got a discount). i feel so so bad & anxious when someone else pays for me. like i feel like a burden#but i asked twice if i should send them money for it and they were like no that's fine. so i had to tell myself to just shut up abt it 🥲#bc if u keep asking u make it into a thing and make them uncomfortable etc. so i really appreciated that and it was nice even if i felt bad#but yeah then we just sat down and talked. and it was so much easier to talk to them than i had been worried abt#like it flew nicely and yeah.. i feel like i forgot a lot abt them. like they're good at conversating. so they kept it going & even if i was#awkward it was fine for them. i did however get swept up in my own anxiety so as they asked me questions i answered#but then was too whirlwindy so i didnt really ask as much back and there were things i wanted to ask but didnt :')))#then they had cards and a card game with them. so we played for a bit too. and it was a lot of fun!!! (i was anxious and kinda slow lmao#bc when i dont know smth or the rules etc already my brain stops working so yeah.. even if it was simple games i was like um um what do i do#felt stupid but yeah again they didnt do anyhing to contribute to me feeling stupid but i still felt slow >.<#but i still thought that was so much fun. i wanna do more of that T-T like yeah...that was nice#then we took a lil longer walk to a bus stop before hastily said goodbye bc the busses came T-T#it was really really really nice tho. i have missed them a lot#and i didnt .. think we would ever see eachother again. i really didnt think this could happen#im so glad i somehow got brave enough to message them and im so so glad they wanted to see me too#i cant help but wish i could go back to when we were younger#and we spent every day in school together and messaged during the days and evenings and spent sm time together#when we went into the city like several times a week and took long walks. ahh... well. im glad we got to have those moments#& idk what will happen now. i really really want to see them again. even if we'll never be that close friends again i'd *wish* that we could#still be in touch. but im so bad at replying which doesnt go over great with them.. i'll try my best to reply quicker to them#*if* they message me. sadly i cant erase my avpd but i'll try my best to reply faster if and when they message)#they also complimented my sweater i was wearing (which is my fav sweater) !!!! and yeah.. they looked so cool. which they always have#and i kept thinking abt how nice their eye makeup was (i was too shy to compliment it tho bc im really bad at like 'nice' affectionate and#anything feeling related. like im so bad... so i couldnt say anything </3)#ugh it was just so nice to sit and talk with them. im so glad i went despite my fears. bc this was so good and nice :')))
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months ago
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#oh lads. lads. lads. lads. im being sucked back into the world of academia#i dont even kno what happened. a week ago i was crying bc i was like: this is impossible. i simply cannot do this.#and then i went into the lab sunday and miraculously i was able to easily read some papers. like i dont kno how to discribe how baffling it#was. like reading papers is like pulling teeth and this was somehow easy. i think maybe it was bc i let myself get distracted and wander#thru it. and then after that i got so much done this week and i was tired but having fun. and like the thing is: i fucking love evolution#it's like puzzling out the code for life in both a metaphical and literal sense. its fucking incredible. and my project is also very#interesting. if a bit intimidating in its scope. ya kno. just in the way photosynthesis is generally intimidating#but i think i have a strain thats lost chlf which is really interesting and my advisor said we might have the money to try some crispr for#my cyano children. hypothetically. maybe. and i get to do some poking around in genomes. theres so so much to love there#how could i possibly want to do anything else? and yet. and yet. here at the end of the week im so wrung out and i kno i just have to start#again on sunday and i kno im gonna have to step it up in terms of reading if i want to make it through a committee meeting and proposal#defense. not to even mention a comprehensive exam. and what do i get at the end of all this? a lifetime of academia draining my life away.#bc what i do is so academic. so whats the point? its just so frustrating.#and on top of that ive got all this data from my old lab that i kno i have to work on. and i will. i will. but with what time?#anyway the point is. i can see a path forward now where i stay here and decide the pain will be worth it despite not knowing where im going#after that. im just so tried#but right now it feels like im gonna stay until someone kicks me out#but that doesnt exactly make me feel happy. ugh. but if i stay i want to get my old pi to come here and give a seminar. ill warn her how#intimidating the department is tho. we've had 2 talks in the last 2 weeks that were... not good. particularly the one this week#like she couldnt answer a single question they thru at her and didnt seem to kno her data sets. it was hard to watch. anyway. i just want#to see my academic mother again. send me back to the desert! let me rot in a field full of sage#but send me back to the hills of an older mountain range. where i can climb sandstone cliffs and lay in carpets of moss. except i wouldnt do#that bc of all the ticks and threat of lyme disease...#anyway. im still tired. still sad. and there doesnt seem to b a way out#unrelated
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betasuppe · 8 months ago
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Ok, so not able to really go deep into it right now after a long day at work, but I started thinking about a Tron coming to AFTER being Rinzler & getting time to think on all the horrible things he's done as Rinz & how post-Rinz Tron turns into a terrible gloomy presence, a new type of unbeatable monster, impossibly afflicted by all the pain he's caused & deaths he's wrought. A Tron that's so ashamed of what he's done, he turns into a different sort of disaster from what he was at Rinz, one that no longer can be the rescuer but one who needs to be rescued from himself & lost all agency in fear of harming anyone else again. Reminded that he is not only to blame for all those he lost to his own fiendish ways, but for all the terrible things he's done.
The hero needing his own rescuing, but made of claws & fangs, lashing out at anyone that dare take another step his way & risk his harm or dare consider a monster like him deserves an ounce of kindness at all.
One who's desperately in need of saving but thinks he himself unwanted, undeserving, and the more he isolates himself & less he thinks of himself, the more he devolves into something else entirely...
Biting & growling & retreating into a state that can't be held at bay, a malignant form toxifying the corner of the Grid he makes his home, poisoning & killing everything in a radius of self hatred or uh. Something like that.
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cerealmonster15 · 4 months ago
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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the number of times i have reread alhaitham character story 4 and kaveh character story 5. like. dont look at me. kfjsdklfh#on one hand im tempted to think alhaitham would have a fully cynical view of friendship#and be like USELESS NEVER AMOUNTS TO ANYTHING but. i kinda dont think he works like that#well i dont think he would think that either way now but#even in times of friendship breaking up w/kaveh like#alhaitham is very FACTS AND LOGIC and i feel like he would still like#idk. understand the objective value of human companionship. whether or not he feels it works for him#HOWEVER. jkdlhfsd he is also the one who in his other lore bits was like 'grandmother the other children are boring at school'#AT AGE SEVEN god he was probably such an unintentionally funny child. i love u alhaitham u are so neurodivergently coded#so idk i feel like he would have a period where hes like okay. i was alone before and clearly that was the right call bc my 1 friend is gon#even if he does well alone i cant even imagine like. kaveh mustve been a huge impact and difference in alhaithams life#humans need SOME level of socialization!! and kaveh was his.... aughhh god they literally also read as having a bad breakup!!!!!#queer coded TO ME!!!!!! friends to rivals/friends to lovers to enemies to it's complicated..................#but again even if u dont think of it in a romantic sense like it's still so much. they were and are so significant to each other.#their bond is so complex and oughghdhgh they make me go bonkers#i do not think of any other 2 genshin characters so intensely as i do them .what have they done to me. what the fuck.#im alone in my stupid little genshin pit endlessly babbling about these motherfuckers!!!!!!!#and i love them. also i like that one scene in i think cynos 2nd character quest where al and kav r in the library or w/e#and kavehs like wtf no way u dont small talk w/coworkers. and alhaithams like no i just happen 2 hear people but i do not engage#hes so real he likes to eavesdrop but he does NOT want to get involved!!!!!!!!!!!!#also that same scene where kaveh goes 'WTF looking thru these will take FOREVER!!!!' alhaitham: 'ill manage'#kaveh: >:( FINE ILL HELP YOU!!!! like ok he did not ask. silly.#and alhaitham teasing him right after all that. 'teach me to pretend u werent listening' '...' '...' '...' '...HEY STOP IGNORING ME' 'see.'#theyre so goofy. kaveh u walked right into that one. ily.#i love when i talk about characters and it's literally just me going 'wow remember when character x said this. remember when he did that.'#i just love repeating scenes and dialogue and lore over and over and over and offering nothing new to say about it JKFLDSHKLFH#sorry i love them SO much and im bad at drawing and bad at fanfic so i just have to ramble in text posts forever#i do have. a fanfic outlined for them. i am just scared to write it#nothing crazy deep or whatever but yknow. im in a bit of a Funk Right Now dont worry about it#i need a constant stream of alhaitham and kaveh content constantly injected directly into my brain.
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jrueships · 3 months ago
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guess whos not going in at all this week, actually
#MY MANAGER EMAILED LIKE 2 HOURS B4 I HAD TO GO IN#she finally changed my schedule (1 day) to the night shift today#(i emailed her to be safe just kinda casually reaffirming im going in at the new time & then asking if any other shifts wanted 2 be changed#bcs that sounds great to me whstever option she goes with#she ignored that question & i get a new email from her asking if i completed a training. lets called it DOC#basically a long time ago she said 'i will send you DOC instructions soon' .. a few days pass and i get three 50 paged packets#one is called NAVIGATING DOC#im like oh ok cool that must be the DOC training shes talking abt bcs the other 2 packets were abt various trainings#NAH BRUH. APPARENTLY THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO GO IN. SHE MESSAGES ME SOME ENTIRELY ALIEN PROGRAM#and is like 'u completed this right? cus if u didnt u cant come in today.'#LIKE?? MAYBE I WOULDA IF U SENT THE SHIT#but it's also like. dam i shouldve emailed prompting her to send what she said she would n clarifying BUT FUCK#WHY DO I GOTTA?? IM NOT THE MANAGER#she literally told me the name of the program rn thru email so i type it in and see like four hour long modules to complete#mind u i aint never even been informed a WHISPER abt this new program. nothings even labeled DOC TRAINING#but my struggle is. was i notified this?? and i just didnt see??? was i supposed to clarify with her what the DOC training was exactly??#the only thing ive heard abt doc training b4 this is 'i need to send u DOC training soon' in EMAIL. so i expected an alert#abt THE DOC TRAINING... in an EMAIL notification. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS#idk man#i dont even care bro like im busy as hell & the work is just to build clinic hours so i dont care abt the money factor#it's just like. can we get this first day jitters thing over with already?? im so over this bro#yaddayadda i emailed her an apology n ill be on that ASAP shit. but i did let her know i am basically justnnow seeing this site#n if there was any email or notif that couldve/tried to inform me of its existence 2 pls let me know / figure out how to find it#so the issue doesnt occur again & i dont have to keep botherinher which im so srry of bcs med is stress n shes just trying to get by#but still bro im a lil miffed bcs she probably thinks im stupid now and now im wondering if i AM#bcs WDYM ONLINE MODULES. AINT NOBODY SAID SH IT EVEN ABT THE EXISTENCE OF THEM!!! i wouldve pressed harder 4 clarification#if i knew it was an ONLINE MODULE i had to look out for on some randomass site i didnt even know the name of until now#instead of the EMAIL UVE BEEN 'COMMUNICATING' WITH ME ON#ARREGHHHHHHHH IM NOT STUPID. I SWEAR IM NOT STUPID FUCCK MY BAKA LIFE
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orcelito · 1 month ago
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Considering the. Ahem. Ways this year has gone, I've not been thinking about it all that much, but. I did start this year with the motto of Year Of Unfucking My Life. With a few goals involved in that.
I got an official adhd diagnosis, as well as a diagnosis for PCOS. Other diagnoses in progress. Gotten adhd meds and birth control to regulate periods. I've gone back to school and I'm keeping up with it better than ever before. I've even been working on practicing driving, something I've been largely neglecting since I first got my driving permit, um... 11 years ago...
I just need to actually Get my license. And I need to get it before the end of the year. If I can accomplish that, then I'll say the Year Of Unfucking My Life was successful.
#speculation nation#i had some pretty major negative And positive influences for this goal of mine.#primary negative influence of course being my dad abruptly dying.#but that also led to the primary positive influence of the life insurance payout that's letting me just focus on school for my final year.#it's like a monkey's paw curl kind of moment. i got a genuinely astounding amount of money#more than enough to live off for a year+ and pay off the rest of my schooling.#with this i have finally exited the purgatory of part time school full time work to pay my way through school#a setup that led to endless stress (both physically and mentally) and suffering grades.#failing some classes and taking longer bc part time Anyways. locking me into years and years of this perpetual fucking Hell.#ive escaped it. school is so so so much more manageable when i dont have to work a job. im actually keeping up with my assignments.#for once theres no uncertainty about passing any of my classes. i Will pass them all. and i expect As in most if not all of them.#it's been fucking Amazing. everything i couldve wanted. and it came with the low low cost of losing my father when i was only 26.#... 'low' being sarcastic here of course. he was the 2nd worst person i couldve lost in my life. second only to my sister.#the 2nd worst grief i will Ever experience. bc he was my Good parent. hes the very reason i have a future at All.#and losing him fucked me up Severely. im still working on recovering. i kind of figure i always Will be.#thank god id already been taking spring semester off bc that would've been Horrible to go thru while in school.#i honestly probably would've just withdrawn from the semester. theres no Way id have kept up with it#given how damned BUSY those first few weeks after were. between funeral prep and inventorying and packing up his house.#so fucking much involved in settling an estate. and im the lucky one in that my sister's been handling all the legal shit.#so i simultaneously was dealt one of the most severe blows i ever Will be dealt#while also being given probably the biggest boost i'll ever get in my life.#if everything goes well with graduating and getting an IT job then i'll never want for money again.#considering there was a time early last year when i got as low as literally $7 in my bank account. this is a pretty big deal.#it's just... strange. the ways things go in life. this has been a very strange year for me.#just doing my best to use this boost to the best of my ability. even if it feels like im taking advantage of his death.#it's what he wouldve wanted me to do.
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electoons · 3 months ago
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another day another taco bell drive thru murder-suicide
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problemcore · 11 months ago
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been real cloudy here, without any rain
#halfway thru this i realized i was drawing myself and not gumi and i had to take a moment and re-gumi-fy the drawing#cant help being a gumi kinnie i guess U_U#dnoodles#vocaloid#i guess? idk i dont think a lot of people will reblog this. i actually kinda hope not.#hello dear followers#yea wow i have um. not been drawing at all lately.#not even simple doodles. i couldnt even pick up a pen.#so i sat down. turned on my favorite music. and drew what i wanted.#not what i wanted to see as the result#but what i wanted to let out of my system.#i dont really care if this looks good or bad. i dont care how messy the lines are. i dont care about the colors or the background#i just wanted to have a good time drawing again. and have a good time i did :)#i have a big drawing ahead of me i need to do. that i Want to do.#im scared of it not turning out good. especially since its for a friend. especially since im being paid for it.#but. im gonna let myself enjoy it. sink into the feeling and let the pen move on its own. indulge in the joy of creation.#i missed art. i missed posting.#sometimes i think about how i was able to crank out so many drawings in high school.#not without extreme determent to my grades of course. but still. i was drawing So Much. and i utterly loved it.#i still wish i could go back to that. perhaps i will. perhaps i wont.#but i want to let that wish go away. and. i guess. start a new chapter.#reinvent my relationship with art.#its going to be bad. its going to be messy. its going to hurt your eyes. and its going to be fun.#WOW okay that was an essay. thank you for reading.#im gonna go eat something and. actually get back to drawing. hehe
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therealslimscreamer · 26 days ago
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chat i NEED to perform in the nutcracker this is actually Getting me like my god i need to perform
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