#and i don't want to accidentally come into our very last season of it with preconceptions (positive or negative)

[sharkneto]

Do you think any of the siblings will die in s4? I’ve seen many people say that they think Five would die

Honestly? Probably. As to which or how or why, I don't have any thoughts. Five does feel most likely, although I hope it's not him. He deserves something nice for once, not necessarily a happy ending but a hopeful one. But thematically he makes the most sense to die - he's the only one who hasn't done it yet.

This next little bit isn't at you, anon, but your ask reminded me that I should do this now that filming is done and we're steaming towards S4 things: I am a spoiler free blog coming into S4, and I am actively trying to avoid spoilers or too much information on S4 before I see it. I'm not putting much thought towards what I think or hope will happen in S4, I don't want to set myself up for disappointment for things they were never going to do in the first place. I am forever chasing the high that was watching S1 and S2 with zero prior knowledge on what the show was.

I love talking meta and whatnot, and love it when you guys ask me really fun, cool questions to ponder, but please do not ask me about S4 specifics. Things shared via official TUA channels are fair game, but behind the scenes fan pics or things learned from watching filming I'd rather not know about until after I've watched S4.

Thank you for your support and help in Shark's Great Attempt To Avoid TUA S4 Spoilers :)

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[buttercupblu]

Satoru's Psyche|Escalating

"Should I really have to suffer for my actions?"

Previous SessionSession 2 of 10|Next Session

🗂️Patient Chart Update: Patient Gojo displayed extremely flirtatious and unruly behavior during the first half of his visit. Mentions of escape and kid-napping were noted as well as enforced close proximity with his nurse. Threatening remarks were also made at the end of his lunch in response to mentions of disciplinary action. Patient is scheduled for a bath but is pending the possibility of negative punishment to instill corrective behaviors. 📋Length of Session (w.c): 8.1k out of "i said we will cross that bridge when we get to it 😊" 💊Intake Chart (tags): mild violence but no in-action descriptors, coercion, manipulation, drug use, angst, unwatched close contact and touch, nudity, mentally unstable Gojo, Nurse!Reader ✏️Doctor's angel’s note: i hope you know what you're doing, Nurse 🎼Waiting room music: Overheated|Billie Eilish

Choose wisely.

Hunger stirs in your tummy, and Gojo's words sit with you through lunch. Your spoon clinks around the bowl, stirring the soup growing colder by the second though the growls from your stomach are too obnoxious to be ignored. But your mind wanders.

You're stuck. Earlier, you were all for serving up justice on a silver platter, but now you're seriously second-guessing your "genius" idea to punish Gojo by making him someone else's problem.

As if anyone would be crazy enough to say yes.

Everyone already avoids his wing like the plague. It's kind of an unspoken fact that you are Gojo's one and only. The only staff he allows near him. Anyone else would be playing with fire.

And if someone was brave enough to willingly throw themselves into the lion's den, they definitely couldn't be new. New to nursing—new to the ward. High expertise was needed here. Someone seasoned—experience which you lacked yourself—otherwise, they wouldn't last a second with Gojo.

It'd be way too easy for him to make them snap, like tossing a bone to a dog.

"Persephone." Yuko brings you out of your coma.

You perk up, instinctively smiling. "Hey, what's up?"

"You tell me," she snorts. "You've been playing with your food like break isn't over in 10 minutes." She touches your arm. "Everything ok?"

It's written all over your face, huh? You could deflate right now.

This is why Yuko is your favorite co-worker. Always reading you like a book without you needing to say a word. Quick to call anything off out.

Leaning back in your chair, you huff, rubbing circles into your temples to relieve the headache you didn't know you had.

"Yeah, yeah," you begin, "It's just—" You stop, her eyes hold so much concern and you've barely opened your mouth. Not sure if you should now because you know what kind of person Yuko is.

And if she knew even half of what you don't tell her during your lunch breaks spent complaining about work, she'd hang Gojo out to dry if she could. She often makes it very clear she hates you have to deal with him at all.

"—I'm just a bit tired. Gojo's scheduled for a bath later, him and two others. Gojo's easy but...I don't know. I feel slower than usual today. Definitely won't get home until late, again, because of all these sponge baths." You cringe at the last part.

Aside from trying to keep Yuko cool, you also didn't want to risk the news getting back to the Director who could take you off of Gojo completely. No one else could take your place. And who knows what would happen if you disappeared from his roster for good?

How would his threats manifest?

Yuko scoffs, waving her hand.

"Gojo and easy do not go together," and you both shake your heads and laugh. "But I get it. You did come in super early."

"Thought there'd be less of us," you sigh.

"Sonya's been on our asses lately, right? But hey, she finally got us all here."

"A little too late. The damage is done," you pout, resting your elbows on the table, realizing you've accidentally grown used to chaos and ever-changing schedule.

You routinely plan ahead to make sure you can stand up when people fall short. Constantly putting yourself on the back burner seems to be a thing that always set you back.

"Sooo, you just need rest, ya? Nothing else? Gojo—" there it goes "—been 'okay' with you lately?"

Your heart skips. "Ya. he isn't so bad today," you lie, "I'd just love to be home on time for once. Maybe even a bit early, I'm soo close. Overtime's been wringing my neck for weeks."

Yuko looks at you with puppy dog eyes. And not in a "I feel sorry for you" kind of way, but one that almost makes you feel bad for not telling her the whole truth.

"Here," she pushes your soup towards you, "How about I do Gojo's bath and you get an early start on my last two? That way you can at least binge that show you won't shut up about later." She smiles.

You immediately protest.

There's no way you can do that to her.

Yuko never even crossed your mind and was far from your first pick, not because she couldn't handle him but because she was your friend. Not just a colleague, but someone you actually cared about more than anyone else in this run-down job even if she didn't feel the same.

She's too good of a person, and you'd be the Devil Incarnate if you let her do something so risky. Especially when you can just suck it up and get it over with.

"Woah, woah, it's just a bath, calm down," she says, taking your hands in hers as you ramble on trying to convince her that you'll be fine or that you'll find someone else.

Burdening her was completely out of the question.

"Who else but me, Seph'? You don't you think I'm as good as you?" And the way she says it, giving you that look she does when you're being stubborn, dares you to challenge her.

Now you really had to think about what to say.

Goddamn it, you regret saying anything at all, but Yuko's so motherly, how could you resist? Hiding from her is impossible, she would've sniffed you out sooner or later.

Easing your pains when she could was her specialty—helping to calm and settle you down when you're quick to blow things out of proportion.

Could this be one of those moments? Or were Gojo's words more than just hot air?

The back and forth was killing you, but the combination of Yuko's reassuring touch and your gurgling stomach put the final nail in the coffin as she reminded you of the time.

Eyes wide, you look at the clock, ticking away faster than you realized, then back at your lukewarm soup.

Denying that you needed help would be silly because technically it was true. You probably should've asked the Director for a little Gojo break long ago, even if just for a few hours a few times a week. It was better than nothing because if you couldn't function, Gojo couldn't be cared for.

And when you really think about it, who better to fill in for you than Yuko?

The gutsy woman has been your rock since you started at the ward, She's had your back, sticking with you through tough times at work when staff constantly dipped in and out of the facility like a rotating door after being unable to handle the job.

A real day one.

Next to you, she's the most competent nurse in these walls, fully equipped with a "take-no-shit" attitude that routinely keeps her patiently in check.

It'd be silly, downright irresponsible to trust anyone else.

Her offer is simply too good to dismiss.

"Thank you, Yuko," you cave, grabbing your spoon and finally allowing yourself to enjoy your meal. "You're...amazing. I don't deserve you."

She looks on happily. "Just promise me you'll take some personal time after this," she insists, worry evident in her voice. "We both know how much you care, but even superheroes need rest."

She's too kind and right in more ways than one.

"Besides, I think Gojo will like me, ya? I'm cool. I'm fun. He'll like a friend of friend, you think?"

Your eyes roll—ya, totally, cool people definitely say they're cool.

You don't know whether to joke back or wave her off, softly smiling at her concern instead before nodding. You vow to make good on your promise and feel a bit lighter knowing your wish for early release will actually come true.

Maybe.

The latest threat to your miracle in the making is Mr. Hampton, who is personally making it his business to drag the already long day by its edges. Almost bringing time to a standstill with the way he's handling his bath.

Enormous and lumbering, the man Yuko usually deals with took his sweet time gathering his things and even longer trekking down the seemingly endless halls leading to the bathing area. Occupying every inch of the space like those massive trucks on the interstate, hogging the road, yet inching along at a pace that makes a snail look like it's in a sprint.

All that was missing were the yellow hazard lights.

Oh no, please, take your time, you think, watching Mr. Hampton clean each limb painstakingly s l o w in a tub that's comically too small for him. You may have been able to rush through Yuko's first patient, but this one wanted all that time back.

His pace resembles a giant's, and his cheerful nonsensical hums echo around the hollow chambers, lulling you to sleep, turning your eyes into bricks under the spell of the melody. Perfect timing for the energy drinks from early to crash you out, tag teaming with the chair beneath you that feels a bit too soft as you lean over the tub, willing the colossal man to hurry up.

Warm water flows over your skin as you scrub circles on his neck, deciding to bite the bullet and take over the bath so he can play with the foamy bubbles, when you hear a blood-curdling scream.

Your entire body goes rigid, shock reverberating through your spine and forcing you to halt as your mind goes blank. But steamy water brings you back to life, drenching your shirt and upper thighs when Mr. Hampton jumps from surprise.

The rude awakening makes you lock in.

The scream. It sounds like...no, you know it came from the west wing...where Gojo is.

And Yuko.

Hurried steps rush past your door, sounds of multidirectional distress and frantic shouts echoing through the corridor—staff members and patients alike swept into a whirlwind of panic.

You're number one, dropping the scrubber and scrambling to help Mr. Hampton out of the tub, hands shaking as he grips them.

A security guard bursts into the room, face ashen and jaw tight.

"Nurse! We need everyone in the west wing, immediately!" The command is sharp, laced with an urgency you've never seen before.

And immediately feel responsible for.

"There's been an incident."

Without another thought, you wrap Mr. Hampton in a towel, trying your best to assure him that everything is fine when your obviously trembling body said nothing was. His confused gaze follows you as you lead him back to his room, the commotion in the air moving him a lot faster than earlier before you rush back out heading straight for the west wing—where chaos reigns supreme.

The usually pristine floors, normally squeaky clean floors due to lack of traffic, are now barely visible. Staff members crowd the familiar hall for the first time since Gojo made it his own, filling the space with more bodies than you were used to and making it difficult to find the source of trouble.

Not like you needed to. The truth is painfully clear.

It's disrespectful even to even pretend you don't know exactly what went wrong, and your heart feels as if it'll burst from your chest any moment now just thinking about it. Crushing guilt wrapped you in its clutches, but it was nothing compared to the pain you might've caused.

You push through the masses, clumsily bumping shoulders, heart beating into your ears making the world seem quiet as you inch closer and closer to disaster. Dragging imaginary shackles on your feet with each step until you all but collapse once you spot it.

Gojo—barely restrained by guards, straitjacket nowhere in sight—standing absolutely furious.

And for the first time today, time seems to slow down, your mouth becoming suddenly dry mouth when you look past him.

Yuko.

Halfway out the door to his room. Sprawled out on the ground. Bruised, unconscious, and no signs of breathing.

Your hands fly to your lips, mouth agape. Murmurs from the crowd swirl around you as attendants rush to Yuko's side, knocking into your pathetic frame as you stand too frozen to move.

They gently pick her up, careful to handle her motionless body and place her on a stretcher. Her usually vibrant face is drained of color, twisting the dagger in your chest when you spot the subtle rise and fall of her chest. Fighting for breath.

Fighting.

It hits you like a hammer.

Someone as kind as her, so full of light, love, and joy, always greeting you with warmth and empathy and capacity every time she sees you, should never have to lift a finger let alone fight for her life. The sight is too much to bear.

Waves of helplessness crash over you and you can't even look at her. Regretting with every ounce of your being that you sent her in your place. Knowing this could happen. Concerned only with your silly wants and needs.

But you're so confused.

The ward should have weakened Gojo—Yuko should have been fine. The only threat Gojo has up his sleeve is mental torture but Yuko might as well be Freud. Her mind is sound, strong.

And that's where you fucked up, forgetting that Gojo's pure strength, especially when he's lost his fucking mind and triggered, is stronger.

Even with his security system in place, the devil was still powerful enough on his own. And like this was some sick and twisted experiment to figure that out, Yuko was the one to pay the price.

"I warned, I WARNED YOU!" Gojo's words pierce the overlapping voices like a sword, drawing everyone's attention to the strange interaction between the two of you. "I don't like to be touched by strangers, Nurse." Guards struggle to restrain him as he tugs and pulls away.

All eyes fall on you and you can feel the tense stares. The unspoken judgment.

Why was Yuko here in the first place?Where was Seph’?How’d he get out?How did this happen? 

You don’t know if the murmurs are real or only in your head, but the effect is all the same, making you wish you could completely vanish.  You stand like a deer in headlights—and they're so fucking bright.

Gojo brims with malice and amusement, chaotic energy pulsing from the hellish man and threatening to send sparks flying. As if he's daring someone to be brave and push the button.

But despite his outward display of dominance, the pure rage on his face making you feel sick to your stomach about every decision you've ever made, something...uncertain lurks behind those fiery eyes.

Something like...apprehension.

Like he knew he had done something wrong.

Words escape you, as if anything even needs to or could be said. But fear and guilt soon turn to anger and threatens to consume you. Ready to eat you alive and spit out the bones with disgust.

You are not a victim.

You have no right to stand here, spineless, shocked, or feeling even a little sorry for yourself.

Your fists clench as you hold back tears. 

What was done was done. And someone needed to pay.

But you exhale, thoughts shifting to Yuko as you take a good look around at the results of what happened the last time you decided to punish Gojo. All of your actions, even now, rooted in selfishness. Like you've learned nothing.

You push down the knot growing in your stomach and turn away to follow the medics.

Your friend needed you more than you needed revenge.

And Gojo didn't deserve any more of your attention, even if it meant risking your job or even your life to turn your back on him.

And there's nothing Gojo hates more than being ignored.

Struggled and strained noises grow louder. Guards tighten their grip on the fuming man whose raw strength outnumbered thousands of them even without his cursed energy.

You look back, their determination to keep him contained makes you nervous—you don't want anyone else to get hurt and Gojo knows that.

You're painfully aware that your decisions have put you in this position, watching the guards' valiant but increasingly pointless effort to prevent Gojo from causing further harm.

But it's an obviously losing fight, and the unease on their faces is unmistakably clear.

You wonder why they don't just run like hell.

"Let's go," a guard barks, but Gojo remains fixed in place. Moving a boulder would be easier.

"No, I'm filthy," Gojo protests, smirking, "And if I don't have my bath soon, there will be hell to pay."

He sees no one else in the room, eyes locked only on you, his expression a menacing promise that would send anyone else running for the hills. A look that says, "Try that shit again, and there will be casualties instead of mercy."

Reinforcements are called but it'll never be enough. Not even the goddamn military. Gojo...is the strongest, after all.

"Stop this."

Your cry freezes the room, plunging everything into a tense silence.

You hesitate, fuck, what should you do?

What can you do? No one else can suffer—no one else should suffer. Because of you.

You take a deep, shaky breath, silently apologizing to Yuko.

"I'll do it," you say firmly, "Just stop this and...and I'll give you your bath. Please—" The sharpest pang you've ever felt cuts through you. "—just don't hurt anyone else."

Pathetic.

But necessary.

He looks into your pleading eyes in surprise, amazement even, then smiles.

The submission in your voice sounded better than he could ever imagine. Like sweet music feeding his already inflated ego.

The guards exchange uneasy glances, clearly unsure of how to proceed.

Gojo's strength is undeniable, and it's evident that restraining him forever is not possible.

And you know offering to give him what he wants is risky as hell...but this was your doing. Your mess to clean up.

You squeeze your sweaty palms and give a decisive nod, signaling to the guards to let him go. They hesitate, then reluctantly agree and step back, leaving Gojo standing smugly before you.

You close your eyes and breathe, hating the idea of looking at him, but needing to stay strong. For Yuko. And everyone else in the ward.

Gojo's satisfied grin says it all.

Let's get this over with.

The squeaking of your shoes has never been this loud, each echo bouncing off the empty halls and reminding you of how alone you are.

Alone—with a psychopath.

A bit more docile, doped-up psychopath but, the man could probably still rip someone's head off if he wanted to.

Still Gojo despises anything that alters his body—mentally, physically, all of the above. Alcohol, medication, coffee, energy drinks—anything that threatens his need for absolute control.

But he also needed to compromise, and you refused to be alone with him again unless he took something stronger. Otherwise, it would be you, all the guards in the ward, and a pay-per-view premiere of his bath time.

He knew he had to agree because his ass is not for free, but only if you took it as well.

You blinked, hard.

You knew he would be skeptical—hell, it could be poison, and he wouldn’t blame you. But to suggest something so ridiculous?

"Half, then," he said, as if that made his suggestion any less idiotic, but, surprisingly, as you waited for your supervisor to dismiss the insane idea, the back and forth with Gojo actually didn't save you. And there was no need to ask why. The entire ward shot daggers at you any time someone walked by now.

She reassured you that you'd be fine, the mild tranquilizer would be out of your system by the end of the day, then patted your back as if to say, "lay in the bed you made."

It felt unreal, holding the familiar pill between your fingers, one you were used to dishing out but now had to take.

With a quick snap, you broke it in half, holding the half-pill out to the leering man. Gaze unwavering, he leaned forward and parted his lips, waiting.

You took a deep breath and placed them both on your tongues, but he couldn't pass up this opportunity to feel you and closed his lips around your fingertip with a quick lick before you snatched away.

But it wasn’t quick enough to avoid the tingles shooting up your arm as you swallowed without needing the water you had set aside, a confusing mix of emotions churning as it spread through the rest of your body.

He made good on his promise and swallowed his own, still watching you with a knowing look. And damn him, he's probably still thinking about it.

The guards carefully lead you and Gojo to his private bathroom—they're more there for show than for protection, but you'll take what you can get, and they keep a firm grip on his replacement straitjacket.

You trail behind, mind buried with thoughts of what to say once you're really alone with him.

The door shuts behind you followed by the familiar sound of a series of locks clicking shut. "We'll be right outside," one of the guards mutters, eyes shifting between you and Gojo. A stereotypical hint lacing his voice, but even he probably doesn't believe it.

"Perv," Gojo sneers. And laughs, but you don't find a damn thing funny, keys to his jacket digging into your palms as you spin around the face him, furious. Debating on whether to slap him, kick him, or knock his teeth out. Or be particularly evil and just let him sit in the shower, fully restrained and drenched in cold water. A move you know would do no good but show him exactly how done you are with his shit.

"That isn't funny. None of this is funny. You've hurt someone—you hurt my friend."

His laugh fades, smug expression slipping from his face. Even you're surprised.

...oh shit.

You're actually confronting him.

The intense words burn through his usual arrogance, leaving a heavy, uncomfortable silence between you.

Then, for a fleeting second, his face does something weird.

Something you haven't seen before as his eyebrows draw together. Is that...regret?

"I'm sorry."

The record scratches.

...the hell is this??

You squint at him.

The words were muttered, reluctant, but there they were, hanging in the air between you.

"It...won't happen again."

And he's serious, the same seriousness you see when his heart races when you take his vitals...but why? Because an apology? From him?? Unheard of.

Gojo has said some nasty things to you in the past that you've immediately scolded him for but he's never apologized. He'd make a note when certain jokes didn't land, but he never took them back, preferring to cut out his own tongue rather than waste his breath being sorry.

You know better than to take anything Gojo says at face value, but...what the fuck??? You almost feel offended.

He has to be joking, fucking with you to dig even deeper under your skin.

Or is he?

Now you don't know how to feel.

He's so good at that. Stealing the air back and hanging his words in them. Tempting you to pause and even consider if he truly meant them. If he could mean them. The mind games are endless.

But then, the familiar cockiness returns, along with that smile that twists your stomach into knots.

"Now," he says, strutting towards the stalls, "let's get this bath started, shall we?" And his easy, but confident steps call you to follow, a stark reminder of who you're dealing with. But he never knows when to quit. "Or should I really have to suffer for my actions?" and the bastard pouts.

Though you know he's being sarcastic and not to feed into his taunts, you can't help but wonder—what would suffering even look like for someone like Gojo?

Violence? Physical pain? A slow and agonizingly painful death?

But the guy is damn near invincible. What on earth could hurt him?

Whatever it was, it would have to be his absolute worst nightmare, but nothing comes to mind other than frustration.

Damn it, you have to keep making choices.

Return his energy or keep it professional? Tolerance or revenge?

"Apologizing won't cut it," you snap and gesture at his jacket, wondering how the hell he slipped out of the first one without leaving a trace. "And no tricks, or those guards will be back in here faster than you can tell another joke."

Smooth.

Gojo sighs sooo dramatically, like he can see straight through your little kitty claws. "Fine, fine. Loosen up," he drags, "I won't cause any trouble. Just don't go getting any ideas now, Nurse." He finishes with a wink.

He's insufferable—but despite your smoldering anger, tendrils of doubt still creep in.

Your fingers slightly tremble as you begin to unfasten his straps, but each click feels a bit like victory. A fragile illusion of your 'control'—at least for now because at the end of the day, Gojo had chosen you to listen to. And after today, he's sure you won't forget there isn't room for anyone else.

The jacket falls with a heavy thud, your eyes immediately scanning his upper body in search of any signs of injury or stress. The cascading bruises on his arms surprise you.

They feel so feeble in your hands, the jarring evidence of him not as invincible as he seems. Pale, weak, and resting between your fingers. Devoid of the power that makes him so feared.

"Never seen bruises before," and he tilts his head, "at least not on me"

You hope Yuko was at least partly responsible for the marks on the villain, but they appear self-inflicted, and he's not as mobile.

Fuck, now you'll have to bathe him too. But it's strange, seeing him like this. Even weirder knowing that he could still do damage in this state and you can't shake the feeling of this temporary 'truce'. If it isn't obvious by now, you've learned that Gojo always has something up his sleeve.

Warm water soothes you a bit, flowing over your fingers into the large white tub—pristine, imported from somewhere far away and standing on decorative claw feet. Your eyes wouldn't stop rolling the first time you saw it, completely annoyed with Gojo's over-the-top alterations and sense of style, but you'd be a liar if you said you never thought about sinking your body into it.

The best you could do was cope with the little porcelain tub in your apartment, and you get lost thinking about how you'd love to take a long, hot, and steamy bath when you get home—if you'll even have the energy. There's no way you'll be leaving early now, not like you deserve it, and feel sick even thinking about it. You doubt you'll even have a job tomorrow.

You look so defeated Gojo thinks, sauntering forward, lifting the hem of his shirt. You turn away, focusing instead on the temperature of the water but the rustling fabric as he pulls the shirt over his head and pants to the ground sends heat to your cheeks.

He certainly isn't lacking in physique, even in his current state, but still, you wonder how such a slim but toned frame could be so...powerful.

Could you be more obvious? Your flickering eyes are so telling, darting between him and the water, but he catches your gaze from the corner of his eye as if he's read your mind. So cute trying to hide away your thoughts.

You toss in his loofah, "Well...go on. Your water's ready." But Gojo can only grin, amused by your attempts to look away despite seeing his muscled frame a number of times. Still managing to fluster you.

"Your shirt," he eyes your top, "Your pants. Looks like you've already started without me."

The water stains from earlier sit beautifully across your chest, not yet fully dry, and drawing his eyes to your semi-erect nips.

His teeth tug at his bottom lip, eyes shamelessly raking over your hefty chest. "Always such a tease, aren't you, Nurse?"

You grit your teeth, cursing the swirling conflict in your easy heart, fully aware of the thin line between professionalism and this game of intimacy he just refuses to turn off. Everything was always a game no matter the circumstances. And he loves to push your buttons.

"Just get in, Gojo," you order, and after what feels like an eternity, the silence is broken by splashing water as he steps into the bath.

He slowly sinks in, sighing at the warmth of the water. Ringlets of steam engulf him, almost making his silky white hair disappear with it.

His arms string over the rim of the tub, a look of relaxation resting on his face as if he's had a long, hard day. You resist the urge to slap it off.

Sudsy bubbles form from the solution you pour under the faucet, hoping to shield your eyes from his body. You've seen enough today and expect the mini-rebellious act to piss him off, but as the bubbles grow, so do his eyes. He picks up a handful and actually starts playing with them.

"Nice touch," he adds, blowing them right into your face, and you watch with a tight lip as he decorates the bathroom with them, knowing you'll be the one to clean it all up.

He sits a crown on his head and gives himself a bubble beard, nipping your nose with some that you're quick to wipe away.

His pale eyes flutter, settling on you in a curious way.

He leans, arms flexing over the edge—steam-slicked sweat dripping down his face that he doesn't bother to wipe away. "I'm ready for my sponge bath," he says, and if it was hard to take him seriously before, it's damn near impossible now—especially with this ridiculous bubble mustache.

Sickening, him managing to still be so playful, so unserious, at a time like this.

You know Gojo's unhinged, yeah, quote, "mentally unwell and a literal danger to society, tf did you think??", but to nearly take someone's life and then make jokes afterward?

God, you feel so stupid, walking around him like you were the shit but with the wrong guard up the whole time, playing right into his hands and accidentally rewarding this grown-ass man who likes to play with bubbles.

The reality of your circumstances replays in your head, the story of how you ended up here, coddling this monster. Still confused as hell as to why it had to be you.

But then again, this was your job...right? To heal. To help those who can't help themselves. To offer redemption, no matter how twisted they seem.

Loofah in hand, you resist the urge to roll your eyes for the 400th time today. "Keep talking like that and I'll stop, Gojo," you say, reluctantly drenching the tool in soap before gently washing his back.

He sinks into your touch, closing his eyes and letting his body completely rest on the cool cast iron, breathing. Feeling like he's won no matter what you say because your scrubs feel like magic.

Across his arms and over his broad shoulders, you work your way down, bubbles glistening in your trail as you're careful not to miss a single inch of skin but don't linger too long.

Every now and then, you catch glimpses of his marked skin between the foam and because you hate yourself, your brain absolutely refuses to give you a break. You have to give kudos to the dedication to his craft. The muscle definition, the scar tissue telling stories of battles won. Evidence of his past before corruption. Everything it takes to be a hero.

It's unsettling, yet fascinating, the polarity between his beauty and his monstrous deeds.

This is another first for you, this level of care. Gojo usually just hops into the shower and takes care of himself as you wait outside—easy and thorough but always taking his sweet time, all while loudly singing some annoying song that inevitably gets stuck in your head.

But after today, it'll be impossible to trust him or you again, and the hushed whispers as the guards walked you both to the restrooms made that abundantly clear.

The pitiful thoughts seep into the way you hesitantly clean him, moving down to his chest and abs and making sure to avoid more sensitive areas, but the malicious glint in his eyes is unmistakable.

"Whatsamatter, Nurse?" Gojo taunts, feeling you slow around his lower region, "Afraid of gettin' too close?" And you can't believe you're praying for a speedy recovery so he can handle this himself.

You ignore his comment, trying to get this over with as quickly as possible. You're humiliated enough as it is and he can sense it, mocking you with a laugh.

"You're so uptight. Can't you just relax and enjoy the view?"

You want to scrub his cocky brow right off his face. "Just doing my job," you mutter, twice squeezing the loofah that feels a little funny in your hand as the soapy water rinses his chest.

The water feels heavenly on his skin, but the subtle change in your movements makes his brows furrow. Slowing, more deliberate, heavy as if you're wading through molasses. You keep adjusting your grip but the material feels so strange—the texture almost too soft like it could melt into your palm.

Your breath catches when you brush his skin, not realizing how close your fingers drifted to the edge of the sponge, and though it was only a second, it sends an unexpected jolt through his chest.

The muscle relaxers. How could you have already forgotten, you both think.

But Gojo, ever observant, doesn't miss a thing.

His eyes narrow slightly as he watches you. "Feeling a little funny, Nurse?" his velvet voice teases.

"I'm fine," you lie, though you couldn't be less certain as the muscles in your hands start to relax more than you intended, the sponge gliding over his abs, down his sides, rhythm almost hypnotic and making the man's head fall back. You try to push through the haze, to finish quickly and be free of him, to try to regain your slipping control, but you're in a losing battle against numbness and heightened awareness.

ANd God, he has to bite his lip at your touch that feels so intense, a sensation too good to keep to himself that you obviously need to stop being such a tight-ass.

You need to loosen up in a way that medicine can't help. And Gojo knows just the trick.

He licks his lips, tongue curling over his canine before splashing a wave of water on you in one swoop.

Saying you gasp is an understatement as the steamy wash drenches your face and front once again. You've been hit not once, but twice in a day—a new personal record.

Instinctively, you reach up to shield yourself, the loofah slipping from your hand, but Gojo is quicker, wrapping his hands around your wrists and holding you in place.

A scream prepares to surge from your body when Gojo maneuvers both of your wrists into one hand and places a finger to your lips.

"Ssssh ssh ssh ssh ssh," he hushes, his voice a little too calm, "I'm not going to hurt you." He swipes a lone droplet hanging from your eyelash. "I just want you to listen."

You freeze, nerves on fire as you're forced into this close proximity for the second time today. Inches away from his face that softens.

Though you can easily call for help, you know better than to argue—he knows you know better but he never felt threatened in the first place.

Besides, he can feel your breathing slowing, the effects of the pill combined with his firm hold sending a faint buzz from your wrists to your stomach. His finger remains on your lips as he brings his closer.

"Now," his eyes flicker to your bottom lip, "You're so very good at your job, Nurse." He smoothly pulls it with his thumb. "That's why I like you. You're thorough but real. Just what I need to keep me sane."

Sane?

"Sane," he repeats like he's heard your thoughts. "Believe it or not, you keep me grounded...like a good boy. Be proud, not a single soul here or anywhere else can compare to my strength, let alone deal with me yet...here you are." He looks at you like you're a marvel.

"You can handle that...can't you?"

Words fail you. This feels rhetorical. Why does he keep torturing you like this? What is it about you?

You haven't really thought about it since your first few weeks with him but now he's forcing you to think about the little 'power' he's given you that he can easily snatch back.

What happens if he decides to go further than flirting?

You can't handle it, any of it, any of this.

You hesitate, unsure of what to say but know it could never be the truth.

Gojo must sense it because he leans closer, his breath warm on your cheek.

"If you leave, I just might crack completely, beauty." A breath you didn't realize you were holding slips. "How do you think everyone else will fare against me then, hmm?"

Gojo knows he's a prodigy, yet he still manages to surprise himself sometimes, eyes lingering over the spots on your uniform soaked through just enough to make the fabric cling—perfect aim.

Ice shoots up your spine from the heat of his unadulterated gaze, but you refuse to let him see you falter. He almost feels a prick from the daggers you throw with your eyes.

"Oh, don't be like that, Nurse," and he purrs, thumbs grazing your wrists in a mockingly gentle touch. "We all have our boundaries, right? I thought communication was key in a relationship."

"Let go of me," you find your voice, "We're done here."

Gojo slightly tilts his head.

Look at you calling the shots, he thinks. So strong, so very serious.

"God I can't help it," he breathes, "You're so fun to mess with."

He could laugh in your face, have his way with you, and show you that your resistance means nothing.

Instead, he slowly releases your wrists and lies back against the tub. "I know you think about it—there's nothing wrong with a little fun...right?" and though the connection is severed, you don't know if it's the drugs or just him that makes his amplified touch linger as you sheepishly rub your wrists.

Gojo watches you blush red—thoughts you didn't know lived within you rushing to the forefront as if he's pushed a button.

Grimy, raw, salacious, unwanted thoughts of forbidden fruit, wandering hands, and stolen touches in the dark. Wondering what his idea of "fun" was like under the sheets. With a psycho named Gojo.

You feel like you should throw up in disgust but the nausea never comes, instead you burn between your legs.

Fuck, you've got to get out of here.

You draw a breath, forcing away the torturous daydreams and quickly finish his bath.

"You should rest," you firmly say and pull the plug to let the tub drain. "And don't expect any more favors from me."

He sits up slow, his expression stone-cold as he slicks back his wet hair. Then he smiles. "I promise. Now dry me off?" he quips.

You ignore his request, swiftly handing him a towel before he can flash you. Gruffing, you lower to your knees and begin drying the floor of his messes, hoping to distract you from your questionable sanity.

Rustling fabric fills the chamber as he dries off, and when you figure it's safe, you look up to a nude Gojo. Still dripping with bubbles, hair plastered to his derpy face, and toned muscles, all the muscles, presenting themselves in all their glory.

The only things dry are his damn hands.

He throws the towel over over his shoulder, sauntering towards you with a wicked grin.

"Well, aren't you gonna help me put this thing back on?" He nods at the jacket he knows is more bullshit than security. "Don't want you getting all worked up again."

The first time your brain registered that Gojo was flirting with you was on your third day as his nurse.

"Well, aren't you a breath of fresh air?" Gojo was sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall. It was the second time he'd noticed how sluggish you looked while tending to him, suggesting with a grin that you must be quite the party animal.

Ha. If only.

You tsked, tossing his bedsheets into the hamper, and assured him that your sleepy eyes and dragging feet were the result of long hours and running on fumes. Having time for fun was just a dream.

"I don't get out much myself," he says, alluding to the situation he's in, wearing sarcasm like a necklace. "I love a good night in as much as anyone else but, I don't know. The stuffiness hasn't grown on me yet."

You tugged the collar of your scrubs—the air did feel a bit thick, like the room hadn't been aired out in ages and you couldn't help but wonder how long he'd been sitting in it—how he could. That alone would be enough to drive you up a wall.

Sunlight flickered in your eyes, and you raised your hand to block it, noticing the small window perched above his chair.

"Ah, let's open this then," you said, walking over and wrestling with the ancient wood for a moment before finally pulling the creaky flap up to the ceiling.

Standing on your tiptoes to reach it, a sliver of your midriff peeked out, but what captured his attention most was the way the sun rays washed your face. You scrunched your nose, the breeze sending wisps of your hair to tickle it, and he imagined the feel of them between his fingers.

The view was beautiful, you thought, hands gripping the warm bars. Trees surrounded the vast area, stretching out as far as you could see, the pathway to civilization completely covered in dense forest from this angle.

You never realized how high up his ward was—or how long the drop was from here.

"Too bad I'm not small enough to slip through those bars." He rubbed his stomach. "But you know me, 'Mr. BigBack.'"

He joked around as he usually did, looking to trigger your defenses, but your sentiment was...odd.

This was the first time anyone had cared to do something so simple for Gojo. And the closest anyone had gotten to him without their knees buckling.

The first two days of your trial, the Director had guards posted right outside of Gojo's door, their presence a constant reminder to stay alert and maintain a safe distance from the convict and Gojo was positive the mental barrier would keep a wall between you forever.

But then you laughed. A real laugh. Snickery and cute. Finding his joke funny instead of threatening.

It surprised him, that sound. And he wanted to hear it again and again and again.

"Who knew you could bring so much light into this place?"

Later at lunch, you sat with Yuko, having your usual midday catch-up. You never start with yours but she, like most people in the ward now, was absolutely dying to hear about how you were dealing with the villain of the century.

"He's actually not so bad...yet. Corny, but," you took a pondering breath, "He kind of thanked me today?"

She immediately scoffed and waved you off and who could blame her?

You were the anomaly he chose to show mercy to and now he was thanking you??

Being polite was too far of a stretch to believe, you must have been mistaken. But when you gave her the deets on why he'd do such a thing, she nearly choked on her apple. "He said that??"

"Ya?" You patted her back with a concerned look.

"Watch out, Casanova." She cleared her throat and did a nervous laugh.

Her comment threw you off for the rest of lunch, but when you thought about it later that night while surfing for new shows, a light bulb went off.

He flirted with you.

Thinking it was just another one of those literal dry-humor jokes or simply gratitude for making his stay a little less crappy, it flew right over your head. You always feel warm inside when you help people so you didn't think too much about it.

To you, it was just a kudos. Nothing more.

But the way the stands in front of you now is everything.

As bold and brash as it gets.

Fuck. Me.

And your body betrays you, sending all of the vulnerable sensations you've been fighting to suppress from your soaking chest, tingling wrists, aching thighs, and heavy breath, straight to your throbbing clit.

Air escapes you and you scramble to grab your supplies and leave.

Enough is enough. The guards outside can restrain him and escort him back to his room for all you care. You just have to get out of there.

Away from him.

Away from temptation.

Hot, overwhelming, guilty, mentally and physically unstable temptation.

In the quiet of the hallway a level below Gojo's ward, you lean against a wall taking deep breaths, completely disgusted with yourself.

How are you supposed to keep dealing with this, with him?

He keeps pushing and pushing and pushing you to the edge until there's nowhere else to go. You can only imagine the hell the nurses he didn't like went through.

Taking care of him isn't getting any easier, and now you were fucking up and making mistakes.

But you're the only one who can do this. Who must.

So suck it up. Play along, Stop thinking only of yourself. Pretend.

Pretend.

Pretend?

...

What terrifies you the most is the thought that you may not have to.

You keep your scrambled thoughts to yourself when you're called into your Director's office at the end of the day.

You tell him the same story you told Yuko and take full responsibility for what happened, blaming it on exhaustion and needing a break. Swearing to never let it happen again.

By some miracle, you get to keep your job, though your one wish to leave early ended up costing you an hour and a half of unpaid overtime, and almost a friendship.

When you finally get home, you collapse onto your bed—images of the day, the ward, Yuko, flooding your thoughts, refusing to be pushed aside. You tell yourself that it's all just the guilt talking, just anxiety gnawing at your edges.

But then there's Gojo.

The most prominent one of all.

Staring you in the face with lifeless eyes and a ghostly smile. Tugging on your moral strings like a puppet.

When you close your eyes, you can't shake the feeling that he's waiting for you, a lurer in the shadows awaiting your every move.

Leave it. Leave it. Le—

You find yourself scrolling through your phone, deep-diving the web for information on your tormentor.

His past, his affiliations, anything to tell you who Gojo was, and who he is now.

The man is an anomaly.

Not much is known about him outside of mainstream news and internet rumors.

He's just this guy that kind of popped out of nowhere in the worst way possible. Conveniently on the tail of what could have been the most devastating incident in the history of Tokyo.

The media says he's a hero gone rogue but not much else. They damned him to hell and that was that. Even the Director disclosed very little about him during your briefing and you weren't allowed access to his files or records because it's all 'confidential'.

Nothing.

The more you search, you less that comes up. Not even silly conspiracy theories that you definitely thought would be riddling Reddit. The longer you scroll, the more you find yourself beginning to question your own sanity. Your interest. Sweet little buds of obsession.

Even though you hated taking it earlier, you actually need the pill now more than ever to relax, sleeping eluding you and mind wandering to imaginary scenarios as you stare at the ceiling. 

Tomorrow, you'll have to face Gojo again. And the day after that and the day after that and every day after.

In between your nearly non-existent off days, you'll have to seem him and decide what face you want to put on.

Because you simply cannot walk away.

After all, he's right—no one else can handle him like you can.

extended angel's note:

when i originally decided to make this into short story, i had no plans on using a y/n perspective. it was just going to feature an OC name i’ve used in stories before, named Persephone, buuuut i decided to wanted to keep it immersive and include no physical descriptors/personality specifics bc i knew i wanted to upload it to tumblr. 

to keep it reader-friendly, yk? 

alas, Persephone has had her claws in me the entire time i’ve been editing and said with her whole chest that i couldn't just dismiss her like that chile. so i decided changed the perspective but keep her name in place of y/n. 

you won’t see it too often in the story bc it’s not super significant or said a lot in general, bUT it is relevant for a certain moment later in the story. you’ll know when you know 🤭. 

anyway, hope it doesn't bother you guys too much. and def feel free to mentally plug your name when you see it to keep yourself grounded into the story.

tag list p.1: @reddiamondjazz @kiwismoother @rune1920 @blkkizzat @suguwife

@xerroe @enthyn @gloomuri671 @ressyshi @startatdawn

@khenanadeche @heijihatsutori @inluvkai @ixqiix @strawnanamilk

@rosso-seta @05-simply-06-simping @sims-4lifers @bratidol @rh-tg1

@hyunsuks-beanie @n1vi @luna-v-roiya @neteyamsluvr111 @supsiii

@natadecoco30 @chiyokoemilia @ririoutspoken @kyoxko @strawberrymilkshakes-posts

@nen-nyy @cinnamorochiroll @kazeniya @maybe7tommorow @sxnkuna

@misoyuh @lupitalove @sebastianlover @gojosatorubrainrot @sleepiebunniee

@mmmidkman @theonecrackhead @thathorsegotpoobrain @iveivory @samistar

@yuuan-66 @gojoslefttoenail @soyalovestoyap @winkwonks-world @thebiggestsimpforyou 

[smoooothoperator]

What Was I Made For?

06: I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

Charles Leclerc x driver!OC (Dafne Morelli)

childhood enemies, forced proximity, accidental pregnancy, enemies to lovers

Warnings: time skip (three months), Sebastian Stan, race inchident, crash, hospital

a/n: Hiiii!!!How is your life going??? I have to thank my lovely @alltoomaples for being the beta reader of this chapter :3 thank you!! And I just have to warn that this is the start of the real deal!

Masterlist

previous part | next part

If you want to be tagged don't forget to message me!

Every way of feedback is very welcomed

3 months later. Abu-Dhabi GP.

“Are you sure it's okay if we're seen together?”

After that charity event, where I had an anxiety attack and Sebastian came to help me, the two of us somehow got closer. We exchanged numbers and he texted me every day asking me how I was doing, if I felt better or if I had an anxiety attack again. And that concern turned into something more as weeks passed by, ending in something like a situationship.

“Of course. They should mind their own business” I smiled. “You came to support me”

He smiled and nodded, pressing a light kiss on my head and grabbing his backpack, getting ready to leave the hotel room to go to the track.

Avoiding Charles in Maranello was easy, I only had to look at the schedule and go whenever he wasn't there or even being in the same building but making sure I didn't see him at all. During race weeks was harder, because our garages were next to each other and the team briefings were in the same room, but that didn't stop me from sitting on the other side of the table and ignoring him.

And now that the season was finally ending, I could finally breathe in peace knowing that the only time I'll see him after this race is going to be at the team dinner.

I got out of the hotel room with Sebastian behind me holding my hand, squeezing it softly as we walked towards the elevator. The last three months with him were amazing, he always supported me even if he had to be away filming, sending me gifts or calling me before a race.

“This is the last race of the season, right?” he asked. “Why don't we go somewhere to have a week alone, only the two of us? Maybe somewhere warm?”

“That sounds amazing” I smiled looking at him, pressing a kiss on his cheek and hugging his arm.

If someone ever told me that I could do something like this with the one and only Sebastian Stan, I would tell them that they had drugs on their drink. But here I am, waking up next to him some mornings and feeling his touch all over my body.

I knew there were rumors about us. Some people somehow connected dots and started saying that Sebastian and I were dating. And the comments are everything but good. I had haters all over my career, but since that night of September the hate started to get worse, making fans get creative and make comments about everything I did: be with someone older than me, going to fashion events, trying to start a clothing brand. 

“You are tense” Sebastian said while we walked towards my car. 

“I'm okay, it's just… I'm tired” I smiled weakly. “It's been a long season, all I need is to rest”

“Are you sure?” he sighed. “It's just… Lately you've been so tired, Dafne. And I worry about you”

“Don't worry, really” I smiled, squeezing his hand softly. “After this race I'm all yours, okay?”

He smiled softly and nodded, kissing my temple and getting in the Ferrari. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, preparing myself for what is about to come once I'm near the track. I swallowed thickly, feeling tears burning my eyes and the knot of my neck not letting me breathe. 

I can do this, just one more day. I can handle this. Another day or hearing the crowd roaring, engineers talking to me asking me to push more and more, fake smiles to the photographers. Just one more day until I can disappear for a while and come back stronger to fight Charles.

I sighed, opening the door and sitting on the driver seat, looking at Sebastian and smiling weakly. This will be the first time he will come to a race, and even if we made clear to the other that what we had right now was everything we wanted, I was still nervous about what people would think and assume, how he would react to the hate.

“It will be okay, yeah?” he smiled looking at me, placing his hand on my knee and squeezing it softly. “The race will end before you know it and then you won't have to be around him for some months”

I smiled weakly and nodded, driving towards the track. My grip on the steering wheel is tight, with my mind working nonstop about the different scenarios of what will happen once my car appears near the track, with all those fans there waiting for the drivers. Will they be respectful? Will they scream profanities? Will they hate seeing Sebastian next to me? The hate will be towards me or towards him? 

I clenched my jaw when I started to see all the people behind the barriers, taking pictures of the cars that drove in front of them, calling the names of the drivers. I recognized Lando's car in front of mine, and I could hear the fans calling him, excited to see him. But when I drove pass them, the turned their heads to look at the car behind me.

“God, not even taking pictures of this beauty?” Sebastian said, trying to cut the tension. “Come on, this car is amazing, when will be the next time they'll see a Ferrari Roma?”

“This is Abu Dhabi, Seb” I smiled weakly. “They have supercars in every corner…”

I looked at him smiling weakly. I know he tries to cheer me up, but it's not the first time they do this. I'm already used to being ignored.

“My family will be in the hospitality during the race, you want to be with them?” I asked him, changing the subject.

“Don't mind me, I love your family, they are great” he smiled. “But… I want to be in the garage. I-if that's okay with you, of course. I want to experience a race inside of the garage”

“Yeah of course” I smiled. “You'll have to stay in the back, but… Yeah, sure”

He smiled and nodded, biting his lip and looking at the front.

What people will if they see him in the garage? What will media say? 

I swallow thickly and park the car, taking deep a deep breath before opening the door. Sebastian got out after me, looking all the time at me. I grabbed my backpack and locked the car, looking around. 

“Go ahead” Sebastian smiled, nodding. “I'll be okay. It's just scanning the pass and then I have to walk to the big red building, right?”

“Yeah” I nodding, grabbing tightly the backpack. “I'll see you there”

I took a deep breath and walked away, wanting to go back and kiss his lips, but I knew people had their cameras ready to picture every move I made. So, instead of that, I walked alone with the biggest fake smile I could make, scanning my pass and walking through the paddock, letting the photographers take pictures of me. 

Chin up, bitch smile, walk straight.

During most part of the day I felt nauseous. And my chest hurt. 

“Probably your period will come soon” my sister Soleil said. “You want me to give you some vitamins?”

“Yeah, sure” I nodded, moving my shoulders in circles to warm up. “And give me a cold jacket before I go to the anthem”

The last few days I have been feeling weird, true. My breasts were more sensitive and I felt swollen. 

“Thank God this is the last race if the season” I sighed.

Sebastian was out of my room with the rest of my family while Soleil helped me get ready for the race. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed, slipping the fireproof shirt inside the leggings.

“Yeah, probably it's the period” I sighed looking at my abdomen. 

I walked out of the room with the suit hanging on my hips, grabbing the bottle of water and walking towards my family and Sebastian. I saw Charles' family near, and I just smiled weakly at them before hugging Sebastian.

“You ready?” he smiled, kissing the top of my head and rubbing my back. 

“Yeah, I'm just a little nauseous” I smiled weakly. “Probably I shouldn't have eaten that yogurt from earlier…”

“I'm sure it's nothing” my mom smiled. “You always get nervous in the last race of the season, is normal”

I nodded and smiled weakly, hugging Sebastian tighter as he rubbed my back, comforting me. 

I heard Charles walking out of his room and I tensed immediately. I can't avoid him always, we are in the same team, even if we hate it.

“I have to go make the team photos” I sighed, kissing Sebastian's jaw. “The race is in an hour, you can go to the garage now”

“Okay” he smiled kissing my forehead.

I smile looking at him walk away, biting my lip when I heard my sisters giggling. I rolled my eyes and grab the helmet Erica was holding for me.

“What would say the Dafne of a year ago?” she smirked.

“About what?” I laughed.

“Well, look at you and Sebastian” she smiled. 

“Yeah, well” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “We are not dating”

“Yet” she smirked.

“We are too busy for that” I sighed.

I walked out of the hospitality and went towards the garage, smiling weakly when I saw Sebastian already with a headset hanging on his neck. I walked towards him and smiled.

“You'll be okay here?” I asked him.

“Of course I'll be” he smiled, holding my helmet while I zipped the suit. “Smile, okay?”

“Yeah” I sighed, smiling weakly and grabbing the helmet, following all the workers that were walking towards the stands where the picture will be taken.

Charles was already there, following me with his eyes. He was already sitting in the tyre of his car, with his helmet resting on his thigh. I ignored his eyes and sat on the tyre of my car, looking at the camera with my helmet on my thigh, wishing this would end fast so I could take a lap on my car to place it on the grid. 

“Are you okay?”

I frown, turning my head slowly and looking at Charles standing next to me. I laughed loudly, standing up. Did he really ask that?

“As if you cared” I laughed. 

“You look pale. If you get sick today it won't be good for the team” he frowned.

“Mind your own shit, Leclerc” I said. “What I do is none of your business”

I walked away fast before he could talk to me more, not wanting to interact with him at all. I got inside of my car and after the track was clear, I drive to the postion I'm starting the race. 

But things do not always go how I planned. The moment I got out of the car he was already there, looking at me with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Fuck off” I groaned. 

“I heard you throw up this morning, Morelli” he frowned. “Remember our rooms are next to the other”

“So? Am I not allowed to feel sick?” I scoffed.

“Today is an important race for the team, Dafne!” he exclaimed. “If we want to keep the second position of the championship we have to be in the podium. And if you are not feeling well, that won't happen”

“Come on, don't make me laugh” I frowned. “I drove multiple races having the period, with cramps making me want to get out of the fucking car and curl in my bed! And did I do it? No, right? So shut the fuck up, focus on your own race and leave me alone”

I groaned, hugging the helmet and starting to walk away. But again, he's not satisfied with making me mad, so he keeps opening his mouth.

“Why did you bring that dude?”

I frown, turning around on my heels and frowning. 

“Oh, now we are talking about my private life?” I laughed. 

“He's too old for you” he frowned. 

“Oh my God, shut up!” I exclaimed, walking closer to him. “Do you have something else to say? At least I am with someone that has a brain and a job and doesn't need my money to be someone. Oh, and he is way better in bed than you, asshole”

I saw him clenching his jaw as well as his fist, and I knew that it hurt him. Groaning, I turned around and walked towards the garage to have one last meeting with my engineers to have everything ready before the race.

I walked towards Sebastian once the meeting was done and he welcomed me with that shy smile he always has. He was on my side of the garage, opening his arms slowly as I walked closer to him.

“Are you ready?” he asked, wrapping his arms around my waist while I hugged his neck, playing with the baby hairs of his nape. 

“I am” I sighed. “And you?”

“I’m excited to see my girl being an absolute badass out there” he smiled, making me freeze after I heard those words.

“Your girl?” I whisper. “S-Seb…”

“I know” he sighed, pressing his lips on my forehead. “We’ll talk after this, okay? Come back to me with the big trophy”

“I will” I smiled, playing with the hair of his nape and standing on my tip toes to press a fast kiss on his lips. “I have to go”

“Yeah” he smiled. “You’ll do amazing”

He unwrapped his arms from my waist, pressing another soft kiss on my lips before I walked away, with Soleil joining me on the grid.

“And that big smile?” she teased me, handing me the cold jacket and helping me put it.

“Well, Sebastian called me his girl” I chuckled softly. “I think tonight we are going to talk about… Well, us”

“Finally! Arthur owes me money!” she exclaimed, clapping her hands.

“What? Did you make a bet with him? Why?” I frowned, confused, but somehow that smile didn’t disappear from my lips.

“Because it was obvious you two would end up together” she said. “He said it was going to be during the winter break, but I just said that it was going to be for sure tonight after the race”

“Idiots” I laughed, shaking my head.

The national anthem played, and I took my position alongside the other drivers. My mind was a spiral of thoughts and emotions. The weight of the season, the pressure of the race, and the looming conversation with Sebastian were all battling for dominance in my head. But most of all, I felt an inexplicable sense of unease in my body.

As the anthem concluded, my dizziness started creeping into my body. I blinked hard, trying to focus on the task ahead. Just one more race and I will rest.

The cars roared to life, and the anticipation in the air was electric. I strapped myself into my seat, hands gripping the wheel. Sebastian's words echoed in my mind, giving me a strange mix of comfort and determination. I glanced towards the garage, knowing he would be there, biting his lip like he always does when he’s nervous about something.

The race started, and I pushed all doubts aside. My car flew down the track, driving through the early chaos of the race with precision. But as the laps progressed, the dizziness got worse. Each turn required more concentration, each acceleration felt more hard.

On the 44th lap, I found Esteban Ocon in front of me. He had to let me pass because he had the blue flag. But he was fighting me, defending like he was defending his position.

“What the hell is he doing?” I groaned. “He has to let me pass! Fucking idiot!”

“Stay calm, Dafne. We sent the report to the stewards” my engineer said.

Some seconds after he seemed to understand that he couldn't fight, maybe he even received a penalty, so I just drove next to him, showing him my middle finger as I overtook him.

But then it happened.

He didn't give me enough space, making his front wing clip my rear tire, sending my car spinning out of control. I struggled to regain control, but the dizziness made it nearly impossible. The world around me tilted and swayed, the track blurring as I fought with the steering wheel.

I hit the barriers hard, the impact shaking my entire body. Pain exploded in my head, and the last things I remembered were the deafening sound of crunching metal, the voices of my engineer and Fred in my ears and the crowd screaming terrified before everything went black.

The sound of the beeping of a machine next to me was the first thing I heard when I started to wake up. Then I held the weight of another hand holding mine. When I started to take deep breaths, the smell of hospital and Sebastian's perfume filled my lungs, making me open my eyes and search for him with my eyes.

“S-Seb” I croaked, feeling a wave of pain in my neck when I moved my head.

“You are awake” he said softly, relief flooding his voice.

“What…”

“You had a crash” he sighed, smiling weakly. “Ocon lost control of his car and crashed into you… You've been unconscious for some hours, Daf…”

“The race” I mumbled, nervous.

 “There was a red flag” he explained, rubbing my hand softly. “Until they took your car out of if the barriers and they translated you to the helicopter”

“Who won? The championship…” I mumbled concerned. “We lost it…”

“Fuck the championship. You could have died, Dafne” he sighed. 

I swallowed thickly, looking away and closing my eyes, the memories coming back in fragments, repeating in my mind over and over again. The race, the dizziness, the impact.

“My family?” I whispered, swallowing thickly.

“I sent them to the hotel” he sighed. “They have been here since you arrived and they needed to rest, Dafne. I'll call them later, okay?”

Some minutes later, after Sebastian pressed a button, a doctor entered the room with a middle-aged woman with kind eyes and a reassuring smile, holding a file and pressing it against her chest.

"Miss Morelli, how are you feeling?" the doctor asked, checking the monitors.

“Like I got hit by a truck” I sighed, smiling weakly.

“It's totally understandable. You had a severe concussion and some minor injuries, but nothing too serious" he said. "However, there is something else we need to discuss. We ran some tests to make sure everything was okay after the crash”

“Okay… and? How did they come out?” I asked confused, nervously.

“You are pregnant” the woman said, opening her file and showing me what looked like an ultrasound. “Three months pregnant, to be more precise”

“W-what?” I mumbled.

 "The baby seems to be doing fine despite the crash, but you'll need to take it easy for a while.”

Pregnant. No. No, it can't be. Sebastian and I always used protection. Always. And I am on the pill.

“It's imposible” I said, looking at Sebastian and then back at the doctors. “No, I'm sure it's a mistake. I can't be pregnant. I'm on the pill! We use protection!”

“There are many possibilities, Miss Morelli” the woman said. “The condom could break… I saw in your medical file that you've got prescripted some antibiotics three months ago because of a throat infection. The antibiotics can take down the effects of the pill…”

The woman kept talking and talking, Sebastian's grip in my hand was tighter. But my mind only could repeat that scene from three months ago. 

“Please, leave me alone” I mumbled, making the woman stop talking. 

She and the other doctor nodded and walked out, closing the door behind them.

Three months. My mind raced, trying to piece it together. The timing... it couldn't be. My heart pounded in my chest, and I felt a mixture of emotions swirling inside me. Anger, disgust, fear, panic.

“Talk to me” I heard Sebastian whisper, squeezing my hand again. “Dafne, please say something”

“I don't know what to say” I whisper, feeling my throat closing with panic.

“We can do this together, okay?” he smiled weakly. “Maybe this wasn't how we wanted, but… God, Dafne, the past few months made me realize that I really like you”

“Sebastian…”

“I know it's not the perfect timing, but I promise I will take care of you two, hm? I can take a break from filming, we can… We can buy a house, what do you think? So our baby can grow up happy. Yeah, we can do that. We will live together, hm?”

“Sebastian”

He's going to hate me. 

“And I know you might not like it, but you can't race…”

Oh, that was what broke me.

“It's not yours!” I exclaimed.

“What?” he mumbled, the smile on his lips disappearing slowly.

“This baby” I whisper. “It's not yours. It's Charles'”

Sebastian's grip on my hand tightened slightly, but he didn't say anything immediately. I could see the hurt flicker across his face, masked by a veil of confusion.

“That fucking idiot” I spat, feeling the anger burning in my veins, getting rid of his grip in my hand. “Of all people it had to be him! Why?!”

“Dafne, calm down…” I heard Sebastian say.

“Calm down? Calm down?!” I exclaimed.

“We'll do this together, okay?” he said, trying to reach my hand again. “I'll be next to you-”

“No” I said quickly. “Leave me alone”

“Dafne…”

“I said leave me alone!” I said louder. “Get out, please! Get out! I don't need your pitty, I don't need you!”

He clenched his jaw, looking at me with pain in his eyes. But that pain is nothing compared to the one I'm feeling right now.

“I need to be alone” I whispered, feeling a wave of panic.

Sebastian hesitated for a moment, hurt and confusion filling in his eyes. Finally, he nodded silently and stood up, his shoulders down, defeated. He paused at the door, casting one last worried glance at me before leaving the room.

Alone in the hospital bed, the anger that had fueled my outburst began to disappear, leaving behind a terrible ache. I felt disgusted. Disgusted at the situation, at Charles, at myself for letting this happen. How could I have been so careless? How could I have let him go this far?

The tears that I had been holding back finally spilled over, tracing silent paths down my cheeks. I was scared of what this pregnancy meant for my career, for my relationship with Sebastian, for everything I had worked so hard to achieve.

I was so lost. I will lose my career. My family will be disappointed. The team, the media will hate me. Sebastian probably hates me, I'm not carrying his child.

What am I going to do?

taglist

@racinggirl @elisysd @alltoomaples @ssprayberrythings @rach3164 @yvonne-dump @deliciousfestsalad @janeh22 @hc-dutch @ninifee1802 @kakorrhaphiphobia @ssararuffoni @itsjustkhaos @scaramou @tapedeck-hearts @apollosfavkiddo @sltwins @glitterquadricorn @ladystardust05 @theseerbetweenus @vizzzashley @auawdo @leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp @leptitlu @green-thots

[seafoamreadings]

big things that are coming

here are the next few astrological events i would consider extra serious, in case you like to mark your calendars or be otherwise prepared.

pluto into aquarius for real - i say for real because it's the last time we will see the ingress from capricorn to aquarius in any of our lifetimes, after much retrograding back and forth. global themes of technology humanitarianism, and perhaps revolution come to the fore in ways we've previously never even dreamed of.

mercury retrograde - the last retrograde of mercury for 2024 is ensconced in sagittarius. honesty is the way to go. people who don't know or think about astrology are going to be accidentally blabbing, even when they mean to be discreet. so keep your ears open and if you don't want the truth to get out about some matter just stay silent instead. no facades succeed in this time.

mars retrograde - less frequent than other retrogrades, the retrograde of this old malefic can be hard - especially around the station points. above all stay safe. also stay calm and stay kind! not everyone will do so - that just means it's extra needed, it doesn't mean we should all join the ranks of such people.

neptune direct - this happens practically immediately after the retrograde of mars aforementioned so be wary of deceit and manipulation and avoid doing such things yourself. be also very careful with substance abuse or even overindulgence and under no circumstances should you (ever but especially now) get in a vehicle intoxicated or with someone driving who is. maximize the good vibes of it by recording and being aware of your dreams, and daydreams. there will be messages in there almost for sure.

mercury direct - normally i like to do the mercury retrograde/direct stations in separate posts but so much happens in such a brief period that it's not super practical to do so this time. just as with the retrograde station, watch for freudian slips and accidental blurting of secrets. don't let it be you, and get what info you need when it happens to others. honesty is the best policy here but silence is also golden.

jupiter square saturn - kind of a difficult square for the yuletide season. this is a very social square. not in the sense of being particularly extroverted, but in that it won't happen so much on the personal level but within our tribes/communities/other social groups. the need to expand and the need to constrict must somehow be reconciled. it will take more than one person to figure out, but we can each do our part.

chiron direct - just before the dawn of the new year, the proverbial wounded healer resumes prograde forward motion. this station may bring healing revelations, new friends and helpful community members, or just a renewed motivation for healing and rebuilding after any traumas you've sustained, no matter how old or how new they were.

[ddejavvu]

Cuddles with Eddie brock, just light kisses and Golding each other until venom wants to feel you too, the slimy feeling crawling up your skin 😧

Eddie's warm. The kind of warm that you can smell, that comes from three blankets and means slow, sleepy blinks. You're lost in conversation about a sitcom you've been watching with Eddie, intent on picking apart one of your least favorite parts.

"It just wasn't the best episode of the season," You conclude, nose wrinkled as your face presses heatedly into Eddie's neck. Your eyes are shut, and you're barely holding onto consciousness.

"I dunno," He replies, rasp still clinging to his voice even though he's speaking in a murmur, "I just- no."

"Hm?"

"Nothing," He cups your cheek, tucking your face back into his neck from where you're peering up blearily at him, "'Talking to him."

"Mm," You grunt, poking at his chest, "Cut it out, Venom."

Eddie's silent for a moment, then, "No. Seriously, if you-"

Something squelches at your waist.

"Goddammit," Eddie breathes, eyes scrunched shut in disappointment. It's a steady transformation, black goop enveloping Eddie's soft skin and you pull back just in time to see teeth and a strikingly large tongue fit themselves over Eddie's face.

"Sorry," Eddie grimaces at you, as Venom gives him one last word with you, "I tried."

"I know," You assure him, already rolling over to stumble out of bed, but you're not fast enough. Venom shuts his mouth, closing Eddie inside, and grabs your ankle with one of his slimy hands.

"Oh," You groan, hands shooting out to grab the sheets in a futile attempt at escape. Venom flips you on your back with ease, staring down at you with those cloudy eyes.

"You do not like me." He observes, voice gruff and growly.

"That's not it," You huff, reaching up to peel the sheets off of his back where he'd taken over Eddie's body, "I don't like when you break our bed. You're a lot stronger than Eddie, y'know?"

You'll have to pay for that remark when Venom gives Eddie his body back. But for now, Venom only hums in thought.

"Eddie broke the bed once." Venom reminds you. And it's true, a risque nighttime incident had left your headboard cracked. But Venom tends to snap the legs off in his insistence on your cuddle positioning, so you're cautious.

"Come here." He falls back onto his side like Eddie had been, and surprise surprise, something snaps below you.

"Oh, Venom." You groan, crawling forwards to lay on his outstretched arm. It's almost sticky to the touch, and your hair feels wrong touching it.

"I will fix it." He vows, but he won't. He never does, and Eddie's going to be very grumpy tomorrow when he has to take apart the bed to see what's broken.

You do have to admit, once you get past the sensory ickiness, Venom is fantastic to lay with. His arms are big and strong, and he cages you in them, tugging you towards his broad chest.

He's got the spirit, just not the tenderness.

"Sleep," He commands, a slimy finger prodding at your eyelids. You squeeze them shut in hopes that he doesn't accidentally blind you, and in his strong grip, you've got no choice but to comply.

[emotionally-damaged-carrot]

Absolutely you should add smut were all whores here

"Hooked"

Sorry been really busy and I am still very busy and ai hate it so much cause I don't have the energy to write anymore after a shit ton of work and sleepless nights just to meet the deadline. Anyways, I will try to do the requests, enjoy ✌️

Hope you lot understand, sorry. 😔

Warning: smut (you already know)

Idk what is in here cause I didn't proof read, hope the wait was worth it tho? Don't come at me, I just wanted to get a fic out cause I've been dry the last few weeks. Enjoy ✌️

I always noticed Arthur's brother, Charles, would always stare at me when he gets the chance, especially when visiting tutur at the f2 paddock. He wasn't really like this back then, but then again, I had a massive glow up, my ass is big, hair fluffy, face of an angel, and body sculpted by the Gods to be perfect for any man. During our earlier days, Charles never reqlly paid me any attention, apart from the occasional hi and hello, nothing. He would just walk past without even a glance. But now, it seemed that every chance he got, he would stare at me and sometimes bite his bottom lip and give me those "I'm gonna fuck you 'til you beg me to stop" eyes.

Like right now, I feel a pair of eyes burning through the back of my head as I walked with Arthur to the ferrari hospitality. Without looking back I already knew who it is, and being the brat I am, I decided to be a little shit and put on a show. Accidentally dropping my wallet as I pulled it out of the pocket of my jeans that hugs my ass way too tight. Making sure I bend over more than required to get the wallet, and continue walking as if nothing happened.

—

After Arthur won his first race of the season, I couldn't contain my excitement, I jumped on him my legs wrapped around his waist and my arms around his neck and giving him little kisses on his cheeks.

"Oh my god, I'm so proud of you tutur."

I basically shouted at him so he could hear me over the noise of his team celebrating.

"Merci, couldn't done it without you flaunting your ass at my brother the whole day."

He said with a laugh as he urged me to get off him. He looked behind me and smacked my ass and laughing harder as I let out a small squeak.

"Looks like someone wants to celebrate with you."

He said close to my ear as he turned me around only to be met by Charles gaze that had a glint of something. I looked up at him with innocent eyes.

"Hi."

I said as I turned back around.

"I will spoon feed you your own shit."

I said to Arthur, trying to sound menacing but he just laughed.

"Arturooo!"

Charles said as he hugged Arthur.

"Can I borrow y/n for a moment?"

"Hehe just return him before the party."

"Of course."

"Huh? D-don't I get a say in this??"

I asked confused as Arthur just laughed as Charles dragged me somewhere.

"W-where are we going? And what exactly d-do you need me for?"

I asked nervously as his gripped tightened.

"I had a shitty race unlike Arthur, and I need you to help me with it."

He said nonchalantly as we arrived at his motor home, he pushed me in before getting in himself, he locked the door.

"A-and h-how wou-"

I couldn't finish my sentence as he pulled me to him and attached his lips to mine, kissing desperately as if it was his last day on earth. He pushed me against the door his hands tapped my thighs, urging me to jump. I obeyed and jumped, his strong arms holding me up as my legs wrapped around his waist and my hands that were feelings his biceps now pulling at his hair and clawing on his back, drawing groans from him. Biting and licking my bottom lip his gripped tightened on my thighs causing me to moan against his lips. His tounge entering my mouth with no warning, our tounges now dancing a ballad of groans and moans. Our kiss getting more desperate and sloppy by the second due to the lack of oxygen catching up to us. We pulled from each other, foreheads resting against the other and thin string of saliva attaching our lips.

"Let's go to my hotel room, it's better."

He said between heavy breathed as he put me down, but I leaned on him heavily almost falling as my legs seemingly turn to jelly.

"I didn't know you liked me?"

I asked surprised.

"You're the only outlet available."

He said with a laugh.

"But you might just be the best one yet."

—

As we arrived in his hotel room, he locked the door and put the do not disturb sign on the outside knob.

"What n-"

He attacked my lips again before I could finish my sentence.

"Now, you're going to be a good boy and listen and do everything I tell you."

He said as he pulled back, his hands on my cheeks.

"O-okay."

"Good, now get on the bed and undress for me."

I obeyed, getting on the bed and undressing 'til I'm naked.

"You were always my favourite, y/n."

"Huh?"

"Among all of Arthur's friends, you were always my favourite, did you know that?"

He asked as he got on top of me now only in his boxers. He body looked heavenly, his abs, his biceps, everything made me want to go feral. To lick his muscles after a gym session or after racing, to taste the saltiness of his sweat against tounge. To see him breathing heavily as he looks at me with tired eyes, to hear him say my name in a breathy whisper.

My thoughts got cut off by his mouth on my neck, kissing, biting and licking, leaving marks.

"I always thought you'd taste good. Addicting."

He mumbled against my neck, as his actions became rougher I began to squirm, trying to push him off, the pleasure becoming overwhelming.

"Ngh~ mhmmm~ no, s-stop. Please."

"I would stop, amour, but your moans decieve you. Do you really want me to stop?"

He asked as he began to pull away but not before biting hard.

"Mmm~ ngha n-no."

I said as my squirming slowed down, missing his mouth on my neck, missing his bites I pulled at his neck.

"You can try all you want, you won't win, y/n."

He said is a breathy voice as he continued to resist my pull.

"I'm going to fuck you raw, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

He whisper against my ear as he bit it.

"Y-yes."

"Good boy."

He began to remove his boxers, I looked down excited to see what I would need to fit in. My eyes widened and I let out an involuntary moan as I saw his size. Very thick, with prominent veins and atleast 9 inches.

"Y-you're gonna kill me."

I said, now afraid of what would happen once the behemoth is burried in me.

"You can take it, and you will."

He said with a laugh as he spread my legs even more and grabbing the lube from the bedside drawer. He covered his fingers with the lube and putting one in me slowly, drawing moans from me. A second one went in and he started scissoring, the burning sensation slowly disappearing as he put in a third.

"Please, n-need you."

I said sounding desperate with my eyes closed and biting my lip.

"Are you sure?"

He asked sounding worried.

"Y-yes, f-fuck me, please."

I said as I began to squirm.

"Fine."

He covered his cock in obscene amounts of lube, hopefully enough. He got on top of me as he lined his cock with my hole, the head slowly going him, the burning, stretching sensation coming back worse. My hands fly to his back, pulling him to lay on me and clawing at him. He groaned as he felt the pain on his back and he slowly went deeper, we were both our of breathe now and he wasn't even half in.

"F-fuck, my self controll is not that strong, I'm seconds away from just fuck, just slamming into you."

He said against my ear, hot breathes fanning over.

"I-i-i don't m-mmmind."

I said with a chuckled as my legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him in further.

"You m-make me lose myself. Fuck"

He slammed into me without any more warning, I scream at the top of my lungs. He groaned as my clawing got more erratic, I felt something sticky on my fingers as I continued clawing. His groans became more frequent as he pulled back slowly and ramming back in.

"F-fuck, ngha."

He groaned as he bit my neck hard, leaving bite marks.

"P-please, f-fuck."

I couldn't finish a sentence nor a single thought as my mind short malfunctioned. Tears flowed freely from my eyes and he stayed still for a bit, catching his breath.

"You okay?"

He whispered in my ear.

"Mmmngh"

"I'll say, you're fine then."

He said with a laugh as he started to pull out, and go back in slowly. Slowly gaining more force and speed until he was just ramming into me, the bed squeaking after every thrust. He head burried in my neck, biting and leaving my, his hands exploring the sides of my body. My hands still clawing at his back, earning a groawn each time. My legs wrapped tightly around his waist.

"I don't w-we can make it f-for Arthur's p-party."

He said with a breathy chuckle as his assault on my ass did not ease a bit.

"Mmngg mmm ngh"

I could not form coherent words or anything, my mind completely blank apart from him, the feeling of him, the taste of him every about him. My body is tired, but he doesn't seem the least bit tired.

"F-fuck, I'm gonna cum."

He groans as his pace became more erratic, sweat dropping from his hair onto the sheets as he bit my neck, earning a moan from me. Our bodies sliding past the other. His hair sticking to his forehead, his back now slippery, my hands slide down, struggling to hold on. He let out small hisses of pain, due to the sweat coming in contact with the marks on his back.

"F-fuuuck"

He came deep inside me, burrying his face on my neck and biting roughly, with the last amount of energy I had left, my body began squirming trying to push him away, but he was much stronger he held my hands down and grinded his him against my, drawing out the pleasure. I felt his cum dripping out of my hole while he's still inside. By this time I already came more than 4 times, the feel of his cock pulsing inside me brought me unfathomable amounts of pleasure, knowing I'm the one he's with the one he's fucking.

"We need to do this again."

"Mmm"

"You do know, when I said again, I mean right now, right?"

He said with a laugh as his cock stayed hard inside me, after a few seconds he began to move again. Starting slow, my mind numb and body tired I couldn't do anything but let him, as he continued biting and licking my neck, my hand going up to his hair and stroking it.

"Y-you can say no if you don't want to anymore."

I don't what came over me, but my energy suddenyl came back after his words.

"You won't last as long as me, Leclerc."

I pushed him off me and made him lay on the bed as I began to ride him.

"You can try, but you won't succeed."

I said as I leaned down and made my marks on him.

"We both know, you just want to fuck me, but I'll have you hooked."

Idk what I wrote, cause half of this shit didnt get save so I had to rewrite, hope you enjoyed it ✌️

[drspencereidshairtie]

Season Four of The Umbrella Academy was really really something for me because I had disliked lila since the very second they first introduced her. I remember being actively relieved when the show confirmed my suspicions about her, because i had felt a bit bad at first for judging her for no tangible reason.

I never really warmed up to her, in fact i actively hated her by the end of season two (which only went on to get 50x worse in season three with the whole he's our son / just kidding / whoops he's dead / haha im pregnant by the way thing) and then of course season four happened.

I actually almost kinda liked mom!lila. I was like oh, she can be human. She CAN be likeable. Maybe, just maybe, she's not a monster. I liked her new dynamic with Diego, and i enjoyed seeing her being a stressed, caring, normal mom and having a mundane life...for about two seconds. Then the whole 'book club / not book club / let him think I'm CHEATING on him' thing happened, and i was swiftly reminded that there was a reason i didn't like Lila.

Then she gets a power. It was actually a chance for her to be interesting and have character growth beyond just being a mom and wife. They could have used her to show what it's like when marigold interacts with someone who's never before had powers; they could have had some kind of fun training montage, like they did with Klaus and Reginald in season three when he discovered his immortality; and they SHOULD have done something of consequence with it, like having her accidentally hurt someone, or damage something important, idfk but, like, literally fucking anything!!!????!!!!???!!!!??? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Instead, they just gave her stupid useless eye lasers that she uses about three times, can't control at all, and never comes up again. And it feels like they did it because they knew Lila was a weak character that couldn't stand on her own without the context of the rest of the umbrella academy, so they had to kinda 'even out the playing field' somewhat, even if it defied any and all logic and reason.*

Which, in my case at least, was an unfortunate choice. The one thing I'd actually somewhat liked about Lila was that, despite her personality and history, she was, for all intents and purposes, just an average human. I like seeing regular people in shows about abnormal folk. They give a nice context to the chaos, even if they too are 'chaotic' characters, you know?

Just when I thought she couldn't get worse.........well. I don't think i have to explain what happened. It was so much worse because Five had always been one of my favourite characters and OH MY GOD,,,,,,, HE WOULD NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER DO THAT! HE WOULD NOT DO THAT???? And you know I'm not just saying that in a delusional 'i know him better than the writers do' fan way, because pretty much everyone is in agreement.

He LITERALLY would not fucking do that. ESPECIALLY with Lila, who he's always disliked at best and actively tried to KILL at worst, and especially not now that she's his BROTHER'S WIFE and not to mention the MOTHER OF HIS BROTHER'S CHILDREN????

Anyway, that was my final nail. I no longer just hated Lila and passively wished she hadn't been added to the show, I wanted her dead. I wanted her to be killed off, or have something happen where five returned to the correct timeline but Lila couldn't for some reason, I just wanted her gone and SOON. I think it was probably what killed season four for most people, not just me. I think that if Lila had never existed, or at least hadn't made it to season four, or hadn't gone with five and................

If that hadn't happened, I think it could have been salvageable, even despite the one million and one problems with the season.

TL;DR: I genuinely, truly, deeply believe that the main issue with season four of the umbrella academy was the overarching existence of one 'Lila Pitts.'

(Don't even get me started on her almost jeopardising everything at the last moment in the final episode. I almost broke something in sheer frustration, because OH MY GOD we literally don't have time for this the world is ending infinitely and your life is not more important than the life of a single slug muchless the lives of BILLIONS of people- deep breaths, dustyn. Deep breaths.)

[angel-and-serpent]

That Kiss scene

Since none of us will be able to get that scene out of our heads until season 3 is released, here's something to think about.

Aziraphale and Crowley will always complement each other's natures and actions, no matter what. They're the perfect counterpart in all situations, including moments of self-sabotage, unfortunately.

So when Crowley planted that kiss on Aziraphale, it was the parallel of Aziraphale taking off his halo.

Both were trying to protect innocent parties from danger that they inadvertently brought down upon themselves.

Aziraphale was trying to protect Nina & Maggie, after she accidentally invited the demons to come over the boundary. She had good intentions, and wanted to look brave in front of her potential love interest, but had no idea of the disaster she'd caused until it was too late. With no other moves left, Aziraphale had no choice left but to reluctantly use his precious books reveal his halo in order to eliminate the threat against them. By doing so, he made an open declaration of war upon Hell, and invoked the Wrath of The Powers that Be, both from above and below. Just as Maggie hadn't intended to summon the demons into the bookshop, Aziraphale hadn't meant to draw them in, either. It was the only ace left up his sleeve, and we've all seen how well he practices magic.

Likewise, Crowley had also revealed himself to be a (once) powerful angel to others, under equal duress. First Hell thought they had the right to invade the bookshop, now Heaven thought they had the right to invade their new lives. They were an open threat to Their Side, and had wormed their way through to Aziraphale, appealing to his benevolence. One thing Crowley knows, is that sometimes the most difficult thing that he has to save Aziraphale from is Aziraphale himself. The offer from the Metatron is a classic case of Divide & Conquer, and he managed to do just that by swaying Aziraphale into returning to Heaven with a promotion, no less. What else could Crowley do? Therefore, by him giving Aziraphale that kiss, and revealing his feelings for him - something he'd also kept hidden in plain sight for a millenia - Crowley, declared war on Heaven in return.

Such a pity that Aziraphale didn't see it that way...

But I have the utmost faith in these silly sods to work things out and get back together. Not just out of fan service, or even out of plot formula (this is the Bandstand all over again, folks). No, it's because of the undeniable chemistry and deeper loyalty that they have to one another. Aziraphale has made a deal with the Devil Metatron, but his intentions were hardly self-centred. The kiss that Crowley gave him was not a last hurrah, but a last ditch effort of assurance. Both of them wants to protect the other out of love, even if it means subjecting themselves through pain and humiliation. Even at the very end, as heartbroken and betrayed as Crowley felt, he still let Aziraphale walk away to do as he wished, despite not agreeing with his reasoning. Aziraphale did the same in return, with both probably still determined to continue protecting the other, albeit from afar. Is there any greater show of love than such selflessness? They're still in love, even if the big daft babies don't know how to put their Big Feelings into words (or dance) yet.

[sunbeamah]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "sunbeamah "?

OF COURSE!!! I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO GET BACK TO YOU D:

I currently have 999 bookmarksgdfjh so this is gonna take a moment. And I've also been in many, many fandoms over the years, so please forgive me!

As for my name— there's only a little story!

One of my (many, lol) names mean 'sunrise', and one of my nicknames is Mah (that's the shorter version tho). Sunrisemah was a little strange imo, and Sunraymah reminds me of my Aunty's name, so Sunbeamah it was! It rolled off the tongue a little nicer too, I thought!

When I first made this account I would sometimes get confused and accidentally type in sunbae mah haha. I was reading too many manhwa!

Below the cut, in no particular order, are some of my top favourite fics that came to mind!!

Nobamaki (JJK)— witches x mafia au, what a mix!!! Absolute genius, I need to re-read this fic, it's part of what got me into nobamaki and urged me to finish jjk season 1 last year. I love Nobara and how feisty she is, and how powerful Maki is. The power struggle and I really enjoy fics with magic, and this one has a really cool system mixed with cursed techniques! I've read heaps of Rigamaroler's works, they're so good

Dabihawks (BNHA)— I remember being on Tumblr the DAY the hotwings ship started. I can't remember the exact user who started it up, but I remember in the week following it just ramped right up. I hopped on the hotwings train immediately-- even though I was even worse at using Tumblr than I am now. These 2 are fics that I LOVE, they're tied! Both set in canonverse, top one is a soulmate au, angsty with a happy ending and reformation (SUCH good angst, sometimes when I cry I come back to read it). Second one is an au where Rei divorces Endeavour and Hawks is saved from the Commission, it's so good!! Juurensha is awesome

Zolu (One Piece)— THIS ONE GOES CRAZY!!! So the backstory is like one of those christmas movies where a woman (Sanji, ironically (jkjk)) with a high powered city job goes back to her snowy home village and reunites with a charming man she grew up with, a lost love if you will (Ace), falls in love and realises her relationship with boyfriend (Zoro) is going nowhere. And said boyfriend comes to surprise her, only to find she's moved on. WITH A TWIST! A zolu twist. I love their instant attraction, they're so funny in this fic. Very real of them. Background Frobin, too!!

Karonico (Runaways)— Does anyone remember runaways?? I loved Karolina and Nico when I watched it. I hadn't read any hades/persephone au's until this fic, and ever since I've always been reminded of this one. Love their relationship, Nico's gentleness shining through the walls she's built around herself, Karolina wanting to be with Nico no matter what. It's how I like their relationship, as two girls who have been through a lot and when they come out of hard times, they want to be holding each others' hands. Very sweet!!!! This fic made me want a relationship so bad when I was younger. I still remember the OCs this fic lowkey inspired, too.

Fraxus (Fairy Tail)-- university au where Laxus is a wrestler and Freed becomes the wrestling team's social media manager. It's so so good, I love their relationship and their raw attraction. All of Eryiss' fics are amazing, I binged every fraxus fic they ever posted while I was recovering from surgery earlier this year. So good, alleviated my pain 100x better than medication haha

Klance (Voltron)— ahh yes, my voltron phase. My dark past, if u will. Jk jk. I made on ao3 account just to bookmark this fic haha! It's been so long, but I have to give this fic its roses. Lost in space au, injuries, fighting, angst, getting together, the whole lot. It was amazing, changed my life, genuinely. Cw for past non-con in Lance's life.

Elhani / Teleanor (The Good Place)— I can't figure out which ship name I like better. This is the fifth fic I ever bookmarked, I read this instead of studying for an important test. It was absolutely worth it. I remember it took me hours to read 'cause I kept trying to picture every scene perfectly. And also because I'd stop to 'study' haha. Tahani and Eleanor struggle with their attraction to one another, and yet it's love at first sight (I LOVE love at first sight..).

Sasunaru (Naruto)— I have to admit something. I love omegaverse. I know it's not for everyone, but it's definitely for me. Usually I go for F!omega x F!omega (i have a nobamaki wip of this), M!alpha x M!beta, those dynamics are super fun to me. But this one is M!alpha x M!omega, which I also love of course.

Anyways, I loved this fic, read it all in one night and then re-read it the next day, and when the final chapter came out I reread it all again haha. I'm a Naruto glazer, every time I read a fic and Sasuke acts like he's doing Naruto a favour by dating him, I want to claw at him. He doesn't know how lucky he is! In this fic, Sasuke knows his place! Jk jk, but I really do love their all-encompassing love for and devotion to each other, and I think it's especially present here!

Viktuuri (YOI)— Another omegaverse! This is also royalty au, Viktor is a little dark here but not to Yuuri and that's what I'm all about loll. It also has mpreg. Anyways, the protectiveness and cold opulence is something I really enjoy, and whenever I feel terrible and don't want to write, I'll read this and feel comforted that, between me and him, at least one of us is having a good timejfbhdgk.

[vanmarkus]

idk if you've been asked this before but is there any scenario where you would be happy/ok with a bucktommy breakup? your gifset made me think he's already pre-approved by the most important people in buck's life and they (accidentally or not) made it work so well lol what on earth could they have planned IF they're not supposed to be longterm anyway

mm i do get some form of this question every once in a while, but you know, things change, people's opinions change, so i don't mind going into a bit again

to be very real, regardless of where this and any future relationship of Buck's goes, it won't really have a bearing on my enjoyment of the show, so let's start there.

i have my opinions and ideas about where the show might be headed, but you know, this could be the very last season or there could be 10 more and the writers have to kinda work with that in mind too, so whatever happens and when that happens have to work for either scenarios which is not an easy place to be in

but ngl a bucktommy breakup would definitely break my heart (shatter it to teeny tiny smithereens more like) however amicable it'd be and i absolutely wish that if that's something coming our way they stretch out their time together before, so we can see them bloom as partners and get to know more about their dynamic, maybe let us see some milestone moments (yes, i am very aware that it'd just hurt more, but if it's gonna hurt anyway, at least give me this!!)

more on the perspective of the show though... yeah, Tommy has everyone's approval and he's clearly a great match for Buck in many ways that we already saw and possibly in other ways we haven't yet seen. but that's not a guarantee of anything, good relationships can hit just one roadbump that's too big to overcome, people deeply in love can break up due to wanting fundamentally different things, life is a bitch and that applies universally, even in fiction.

i do think they will be longterm though, whatever that'll actually mean in the terms of the actual episodes. i also think Tim might be a bit more cautious this time around to take the fan's reactions into account and that he might have a general idea of where he wants to go with them, but the man writes episodes 2 days before the first day of shooting, so i think there's a lot of wiggle room either way

in any case, they accidentally turned this relationship into a narrative goldmine, so they'd be real stupid not to exploit it as much as they can (and give us a beautiful love story in the process, final outcome notwithstanding)

[blackcat419]

Hotd S2 E1 A Son for a Son review

It's here. Two years weight and I'm more disappointed than a vegan at Outback Stake House. Lets get into this then.

Predictions for Season 2 and if they came true

My predictions for the reactions towards Blood and Cheese were pretty damn on. People justify Jaehaery's death, missing the irony of an eye for an eye, a son for a son, when Aemond didn't get Luke's eye and Jaehaerys isn't Aemonds son, Alicent being blamed for it.

Blood and Cheese was an accident, meant to go in for Aemond, stumbled upon Helaena, and just got told who the son is, at least they didn't accidentally trip and stab Jaehaerys.

White walkers are alluded to even though we now know they're so easy to take care of, just need one episode and POOF!

No Dyana mention so we'll see if she shows up.

Where we left each character and where they are now

For TB its very consistent. Rhaenyra is mourning Luke, Daemon is pushing for war, Rhaenys is pushing for no war, and Corlys is pushing to be relevant.

For TG its all over the place. Our consistent characters include Otto pushing for war and control, Alicent pushing for control but less war, and Larys pushing to hold the most secrets any person can. Our characters that have changed are Aegon now wanting to be king and trying to prepare Jaehaerys, Aemond deciding he totally did mean to kill Luke, Alicent changing from rule follower to now rule breaker, and Cole deciding he does like sex actually.

Aegon and Aemond's transitions make sense, they were set up in last season and it works for them. Alicent and Cristin are in a full-blown sexual relationship that's been going on long enough for them to feel comfortable doing it in mid-day. That was not set up. We miss an entire character arc for both where they 1. decide they don't want to follow the rules society tells them to and 2. decide they want to bone. This was not set up in season 1, it comes out of nowhere, there is no explanation for why these two are boning now, how they justify it to themselves, if they justify it to themselves, nothing. So instead of an interesting character arc where we see change, we just get the end with no idea how they go here. Thanks, I hate it.

Conflicts

Again, for TB the conflict is consistent from season 1 and makes sense. Rhaenyra is being pulled by her duty to the realm for peace but by her grief for war. Daemon is pushing for war, Rhaenys is pushing to not start the fight, and Corlys is there too.

But for TG it's all over the place. We still have the dumb conflict between Alicent and Otto over how much war we'll have. Not between peace and war but just, should we have more or less? it's not even really about involving the dragons as that's Aegon and Aemond's position. Overall, Alicent and Otto's conflict is poorly thought out and their positions hold so little difference that it borders on meaningless.

The conflict between the two groups is who will strike the first blow. We already have one kid dead and a blockade but we are still waiting for someone to act. wow, so intense much drama.

Adaptation from the Book

The main parts of the book being adapted are Jace's visits to the Vale, the sisterlands, White Harbor, and his stay in the north. Rhaenyrs finds out about Luke's death, and blood and Cheese.

The only part done well is Rhaenyra's grief over Luke's death. It is so powerful and Rhaenys saying that she can't properly grieve until she knows Luke is dead is very powerful. Jace has an amazing trying to talk while he cries scene, the funeral pyre is so emotional, and very well done in showing how much losing Luke affects these characters.

I am very disappointed that Jace's whole storyline going north is turned into exposition about Stark customs and the wall being so sexy and cool. No Jace and Cregan being friends, no Jace trying to convert Cregan, not even Jace hooking up with Cregan or Sara Snow. just nothing.

Blood and Cheese has to be the worst thing I've seen in a while. We have Daemon telling them to kill Aemond but it is ~ ambiguous ~ whether he said to kill Jaehaerys. We have Rhaenyra saying she wants Aemond dead but it is ~ ambiguous ~ if she knows Daemon is doing this. Blood and Cheese literally walk past Aegon in the throne room? No secret passageways into the queen's chambers, no plan, no nothing! they just happen to find Helaena. We also lose the character development of Helaena where in the books she offers up herself to be killed and only after Blood and Cheese say they'll rape Jaehaera and kill all of them, does she give in and choose Maelor to die. We don't get their cruelty of telling Maelor his mom wants him dead and then killing Jaehaerys. No, Helaena just offers up her necklace, they take it, then AFTER she knows they're going to kill her son (one of them says they need a head and a son for a son), she just walks out and runs into Alicent riding Cristin? Why? Where is the tension of Helaena being forced to choose a child to die only for that child to know their mom chose them, the drama of Helaena offering up herself to try and save her kids, the horror at what these monsters are willing to do for coin? Nothing. It was emotionless, I only felt shock at how poorly it was done.

Overall Enjoyment

I did not enjoy myself. This was not fun or interesting to watch. The showrunners are scribbling over a beautiful sketch with crayons.

What I hope for the next episode

NO MORE ACCIDENTS! I swear this show is the house of accidental war crimes.

I want to see Nettles, Daeron, and Maelor.

I want actual character development instead of character teleportation.

I predict that Alicent's character will continue to be massacred and put in scenes where Ryan Condal can see Olivia Cooke naked.

[saneijeijei]

Boy and Dragon

William looked out of the carriage window with displeasure, watching as the city streets were replaced by fields and trees. He didn't want to go to another hunting competition, even though it was the opening of the season. All his friends stayed in the capital with their mothers and he was forced to travel with his family to a remote part of the empire.

"Why couldn't I stay at home?" William whined. "Count Grey promised Jacob to go to their summer residence so that they could ride horses together in the valley of eternal flowers. Rick's father promised to buy a continuation of the famous recordings of the knight of the white swords! What about me? I can't even participate in the hunt, because I'm still too young! What should I do there?" "Will, we've talked about this many times," Marianne sighed. "Your father is the emperor's assistant. He must follow him. And we, as members of the Porter family, follow our head. Anyway, when was the last time you attended an event?" "Well, uh… A year ago? All the recent holidays have been for adults only.." "That's exactly why the whole family attends the opening of the hunt." "Hey, father will let you hunt rabbits this year," William's older brother said, nudging him in the side with his elbow. "You can't spend your whole life reading boring books among the same bookworms. You also necessary to see something alive in your life". "Daniel!" "I'm sorry, Mother. I just wanted to cheer him up." "What, are you afraid that you won't catch a deer this time?" Vililam snorted. "What did you say?!" Daniel yelled. "Both of you! If you don't stop immediately, both of you will stay with me at tea parties all the time and won't even stick your nose out into the grounds!"

William Porter was the youngest child of Marianne and Cedric Porter. His mother was the only child of Count Terosi. And his father was the only boy in the family of Count Porter. They met at the birthday celebration of the Crown Prince - the current emperor. As the Countess once told, everything happened because his father was in such a hurry that he accidentally bumped into her and almost knocked her down. Because of the awkward situation, a dialogue began between them and soon they danced together at the ball.

And year later, they got married, despite all those terrible events that shook the tranquility of the capital.

His father married much earlier than his master, which, of course, was bad form and the cause of unflattering rumors about him. But the emperor only jokingly reminded him of this in the presence of Porter's family. William remembered that attentive look of tired red eyes that carefully examined him and his brothers and sisters. The emperor himself never married, rejecting any offers of his vassals to find a bride.

"Why doesn't the Emperor want to get married?" Will one day asked and his father. "Everyone gets married. Is there anything wrong with that?" "Willie, His Majesty has his own reasons for refusing all of them. Once upon a time, he was in love with Duke Eckhart's daughter." "The one that Leila pretended to be in order to take over the empire?" "Yeah. But the duke had another daughter. Not own." "Oh?" boy listened to his father with interest, as if he had learned someone's very terrible and dark secret. "Emperor was madly in love with her and the lady also loved him. But Leila brainwashed His Majesty… And she was gone. When he broke free of the spell and defeated Layla, he searched for the lady day and night, hoping that she was hiding somewhere and waiting for him to come for her. But days, months, years passed. But the lady didn't come back." "Is that why we attended the duke's daughter's wake?" "To my great regret, I am afraid that she is no longer among the living."

"It's probably sad. Hope that the person you love is alive, but realize that he will no longer be around?" William sighed. "If something happened to Mom, you have us. And the emperor has no one. He's very lonely." "Yes." Cedric ruffled his son's hair. "But let's not think about the bad, okay? Your mom will always be there. I'm doing my best to keep you all safe and sound."

The boy nodded, and then thought about it.

"But His Majesty's character is heavy. I wouldn't be able to make friends with him either."

Porter Sr. laughed.

"Why is that?" "He has stupid jokes." "Be lenient with him, okay?" "Like you? You always put up with his unfunny jokes, which he thinks are funny and laughs at them himself." "Hey, I laugh when you tell me jokes that I heard when I was your age? Show a sense of tact to His Majesty."

Since then, Porter's family has become a frequent guest of many state events. A year later, his father got him into an elite academy sponsored by the emperor. The entire elite of the aristocracy studied there.

Mom hoped that William would become a clerical worker or a minister. But Willie dreamed of becoming a knight and serving in the palace, although his parents and older brothers did not share his dream, saying that this was an extremely dangerous and harsh job. But he hoped that he would succeed and…

"We're almost there!" the sister shouted, seeing the residence in the distance.

The Porter family arrived in a small town a week before the hunt. As well as many other close houses to the crown, including the Duchy of Eckhart, the Marquis of Verdandi and many others. Thanks to the efforts of the imperial servants and aristocratic houses, the hunting grounds were to be ready by next Monday.

Brothers, having barely received permission, dragged William with them to train. They put leather armor on him so as not to accidentally harm him and gave out a small simple wooden bow. Daniel and Oliver, taking swords, began to fight among themselves, practicing blows. William, under the careful supervision of a teacher, trained to hold a bow and direct an arrow, which was very difficult and quite unusual.

The training lasted until lunch, until they were interrupted by a sister who called everyone for lunch.

"My mom and I took a walk around the city. And do you know what I heard in the boutique?" "My God, what could our chatty gossip girl have found out besides rumors?" asked the older brother. "Hmm! How rude! By the way, this is not just some kind of rumor, but a real urban legend!" the girl was indignant. "So what's the legend? A ghost? A tragic love story?" William interrupted the exchange. "I heard that a real dragon lives in the mountains. The last living dragon. And sometimes, he cries from loneliness that his howl can be heard from here!" inspired by an interested listener, young Porter enthusiastically told what she heard. "Can you imagine? A real dragon!" "Another urban fairytale to attract tourists, and you fell for it. Dragons haven't existed for a hundred years. Stop talking nonsense." Daniel snorted. "It's true! Ask mom, she'll tell you the same thing as me!"

William thought about it. A real dragon? He read a lot of books telling about the old days, when the whole earth was inhabited by mythical creatures. Including dragons. One of them was the founder of the house Regulus - the golden dragon. But the history of the extinction of this species has sunk into oblivion. Historians have each adhered to their own theory of why dragons did not survive to the present day. And the chance to see a real dragon gave rise to a burning curiosity in Willie.

"Dani, if catch a real dragon at a hunting competition, will it cost like a brown bear or more?" "What? What nonsense is this? Do you think there really is a dragon living in the mountains? Will, it's just city gossip. There are no dragons there, forget it. Besides, father told you that you can try to hunt rabbits. You're not allowed to leave the small beast zone, remember?"

William looked away in frustration. "What if I catch a whole dragon? Still?"

Daniel rolled his eyes.

All week, William has been training hard. He wanted to prove to everyone that he could catch something bigger than a rabbit and maybe it would be a dragon. And so. The long-awaited opening of hunting competitions. All the guests, ambassadors and diplomats gathered together to listen to the speech. The Emperor, as always, says parting words and wishes everyone a successful hunt. William grabs his bow and arrows and goes to the lands of small animals, overtaking his brothers. The teacher swears and asks not to hurry, because without him, he can't go there, but William jumps on the spot, asking to get ready as soon as possible.

Teacher just grumbles and slowly gathers. Seeing the younger brother's excitement, Daniel and Oliver offer that they will look after him while the teacher is getting ready. To which the man agrees and William, along with his brothers, goes into the forest.

But because of the banter and unsuccessful hits, William takes offense and deliberately shoots an arrow far, far into the forest. The brothers say to go and pick her up, which the boy took advantage of.

After finding the arrow, he did not return, but decided to go deeper into the forest to look for a bigger target. For example, a fox. After walking a few tens of meters, and hearing the screams of the brothers, William went deeper and, not noticing the root, stumbled.

Suddenly, a strange sound followed, low and very loud.

"Richard, I hope you didn't hit the Baron!" "Not he's on our right." “What? Then what was that sound?" "Maybe it's a white tiger that was brought by the ambassador from that small kingdom in the south?"

William fell silent in the bushes until he heard footsteps receding.

Trying to get up, his foot caught on something. “what? Scales?" Willie picked up strange pieces of golden scales from the floor and it was clearly smeared with something. "Where did the scales come from?"

After looking around, William decided to go a little further forward, when suddenly a noise was heard behind him. He barely had time to turn around when something heavy pushed him back to the ground and covered him with hot breath.

It was a dragon.

The idea came to my mind after re-reading several Kuro fanfics(@kuroneko1815). I decided to reread all the finished fanfiction and it just so happened that it was Kuro's fanfiction that went in order. And when I wanted to go to bed, the idea came to me: "What if?". Well, here you see the result of this "if".

[smoooothoperator]

What Was I Made For?

21: It'll Be Okay

childhood enemies, forced proximity, accidental pregnancy, enemies to lovers (👀)

Warnings: noooothingggg

a/n: HIIIII!!!!!! WELCOME BACK!!!!!! I am so happy to finally had some time to write this chapter... (won't happen again, I'll start rehearsing a new opera today...) but at least I won't keep you without a new chapter... ENJOY!!!!

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Start of the season.

It was always exciting, seeing faces of people you haven't seen for maybe a few months, showing the potential of the team, starting from the roots. 

As a driver, the start of the season was my moment—to tease a glimpse of my potential, share just enough with the media about my winter break, and unveil my new helmet to keep the fans excited. But that chapter has closed.

Now, I’m no longer the one in the driver's seat.

The day Charles asked me to join him in Bahrain, I knew that my role in the paddock was going to be completely different from what it has been the last five years. I knew that the moment I would receive my paddock pass, it would have written a different thing from the ones I always owned.

“Morning, love” 

I sighed, feeling Charles' arms moving around me and his lips pressing tender kisses on my shoulder and neck.

Last night, when I arrived at the hotel in Bahrain after he had already had the pre-season tests, he tried his best to keep my mind busy. He made sure I was comfortable, knowing how hard the flight was for me while being pregnant, and ran a bath for me while he ordered dinner for both of us. He cuddled me, whispering soft nothing in my ears and then to my belly, kissing it and rubbing the cream the doctor recommended me to apply. 

But he knows me better than I would like to admit, and he knew what was troubling me. But still, he didn't say anything about it, offering me silent support.

“Hey…” I whisper, feeling his hand rubbing my belly.

Six months pregnant. Now it was the moment when we should start looking forward, finding a place where we can raise our son, buying things for him, deciding where I want to have him, how I want to have him 

“How are you feeling?” he whispered. 

I sighed, holding his hand and bringing it to my chest, keeping it on top of where my heart is beating strongly against my ribcage.

“I’m nervous,” I whisper, my fingers tracing small circles over his hand. “It’s all hitting me at once: anxiety, doubt... I can't seem to shake it.”

“Hey, talk to me” he smiled softly, pressing another kiss to my shoulder.

“It's… I don't know, this is new” I sighed looking at him. “Not being a driver anymore, staying in the garage while I watch you drive the car… Walking next to you, holding your hand and faking a smile like everything is fine. I..”

“I know this is a big change for you, my love” he whispered against my hair. “But you are not alone in this, Dafne. I am with you, and I'll walk next to you in the paddock, I'll hold your hand and kiss you all the time. I know you would want to be in the car and beat me on the track, but now I have a reason to come back and be a better driver, to beat everyone out there in the track”

“You do?” I smiled weakly, pressing my back on his chest. 

“Yeah” he smiled. “Now I have you waiting for me in my side of the garage, and in a few months I will have Dorian waiting for me. It will make me want to be better, to make you two proud”

I turned around slowly, with his help, and faced him. He was looking at me how he has been looking at me for the last few months. His greenish eyes were shining and portrayed a relaxed gaze that always tried to connect with mine. The smile on his lips is always wide when we connect our eyes. And his beard grew a little more, making him look even more handsome than he already was 

“I will always be proud of you” I whisper. “No matter what. No matter if you have a DNF, if you only have a point, if you end second. No matter what, I'll always be proud of your hard work”

He smiled and kissed my forehead, wrapping his arms around me tightly. I tangled my legs with his, feeling my belly pressing his stomach.

“Dorian will be so loved, Dafne” he whispered. “He will have a lot of people wanting the best for him, huh? Our families, our friends… The whole team…”

“Yeah” I smiled looking at him, pressing a soft kiss on his lips. 

He kissed my forehead, his lips warm and reassuring. As I nestled into his chest, I took a deep breath, the familiar scent of him wrapping around me like a comforting blanket, grounding me in this new reality.

Our life the last month has been hectic, full of visits to the lawyer, medical exams and media conferences. We wanted to keep everything as private as we could, only deciding to reveal it once the results of all the testings were given back to us.

“You know the interviewers will ask a lot of things to you right?” I whisper. “About us, about Melanie…”

“Yeah, but now that we have answers, I'm not worried at all” he smiled. “I already talked with my manager, and I will answer everything they ask about that, but obviously not saying too much”

“Good boy” I chuckled softly.

He laughed and rubbed my back gently, touching the spots where the pain was too much even if I was only laying on the bed. I hummed softly, closing my eyes and enjoying the pressure of his fingers in my back.

“We should get ready” he whispered in my ear, making a shiver running down my back. “Go to have breakfast… Because I know you were looking at the restaurant last night when we were doing the check in…”

“Hey, don't blame me” I chuckled. “I know this hotel has a breakfast buffet and Dorian is craving some donuts or muffins”

“Dorian, huh?” he laughed. “Then we should get up if you don't want Dorian getting angry because you don't feed him”

“Okay, okay, okay…” I sighed, sitting slowly and stretching my arms. “Should I put on that dress you bought me?”

“I think you should wear it on race day” he smiled. “Today you should get comfortable, you know how it is…”

“Yeah…” I sighed. “Thank God I brought my laptop and a book”

“A book I'm sure you'll end it today” he teased me.

“Then you'll have to buy me a new one” I teased him back, pecking his lips before getting out of the bed.

He laughed and fell back to the bed, grabbing his phone and snapping pictures of me while I walked around the hotel room in one of his shirts.

One of the things we wanted to do with the pregnancy was taking pictures of the belly, simply to see how it grows until the day Dorian arrives. We will make an album with all the pictures and keep it as a memory, as a witness of how we fell in love thanks to the baby.

“I should wear something from my sponsors, right?” I said, looking at the clothes I brought to Bahrain. 

“Sure” he nodded. “The maternity jeans make your ass look amazing. Oh, and you should wear that white shirt that is so flowy…”

“Since when do you give fashion advice?” I tease, but my smile falters. He always finds a way to lighten the mood when I need it most, reminding me why we work so well together. “May I remind you when you used tight jeans? Or those red jeans you liked to use on Saturdays”

“Those red jeans were my lucky charm!” He grinned, making me shake my head.

“Lucky charm? Please, they were cursed.” I laughed, throwing him a teasing look.

“At least my fans loved it…”

“Yeah, sure” I chuckled.

“You are so mean” he sighed, shaking his head. 

“Oh, but you fell for this mean ass, Charlie” I smirked. “Thank God now I'm the lucky charm, huh?”

“Actually… Yeah” he smiled looking at me, sitting on the bed and reached for me with his hand, making me walk towards the edge of the bed when he sat there, standing between his legs. “You are my lucky charm, Dafne. Just knowing that you will be in my garage, to cheer for me and keep my feet in the ground, put me in my place when I need it… I know I'll do everything right with you by my side”

 I smiled looking down at him, cupping his face with both of my hands. I leaned on him, pressing my lips on his forehead and smiling against his skin, sighing softly.

“I love you” I whispered, brushing his cheekbones with my thumbs. “We love you so much, Charlie. Never forget that”

The card was laying on my lap, the face print on it looking back at me.

“Is there something wrong, Daf?” Charles asked next to me, placing his hand in my thigh and squeezing it softly. 

“N-no…” I sighed. “It's…”

“I know” he sighed. “I know. I know it's hard for you, babe…”

I nodded and sighed, holding his hand and placing it on my belly, looking out of the window of the car. .

I have to get used to it. It's what I have to do now, stand next to him and support him, making sure he wins everything.

“I have to deal with this” I sighed. “Now this is what I am, huh? Your wag. I…”

“Hey, look at me” he smiled. “You are not only that, okay? You can be more, what about your influencer side? You can make things with that…”

“But… that's not what I was made for” I whispered. “The influencer thing was something that came with me being a driver…”

“You can influence other girls to get into racing” he said. “Dafne, I know the pregnancy wasn't planned, I won't stop apologizing, I swear. But… Please, I don't want you to be sad because of it. I just want you to be happy, doing what you love. And I’ll always be here to support you, whatever you choose."”

I took a deep breath and smiled weakly, knowing that he was speaking from the bottom of his heart, and the soft kicks on belly tell me that our baby supports what his father says.

“Okay” I nodded, sighing softly. “Yeah, I'll… I guess I can talk with my manager”

He smiled and nodded, patting my belly softly, making me chuckle. The tension eased between us, but the knot in my stomach didn’t. I knew the week ahead would be filled with reminders of what I’ve lost.

When he parked the car he looked at me for some seconds before getting out of the car and walking all the way to my side, opening the door and looking down at me.

“You ready?” he smiled, offering me his hand to hold.

I nodded slowly and held his hand, getting out of the car with his help while I held my belly, smiling at him. He smirked softly and pecked my lips before grabbing the backpack he left at the feet of my seat.

“Let's go” he smiled, holding my hand tightly and walking away. “Do you want me to carry your bag?”

“Would you?” I smiled softly looking at him.

“Of course” he smiled, holding the bag and hanging it on his shoulder.

I walked next to him, holding his hand and looking at him from time to time while we walked towards the barriers where fans were calling our names. I stood next to Charles, paying attention to the fans that called me and being surprised with little bags and boxes.

“This is for the baby! Is it a girl or a boy?” 

“We will announce it soon” I smiled, looking at the group of fans that were giving me gifts. “We wanted to keep it for us for a while, but we are ready to make it public”

“We can't wait!”

I smiled at them and then looked at Charles, who was holding as many gifts as I was holding. He smiled softly at me, still charging my bag on his shoulder, while his left hand was busy with the bags.

“Love, do you want me to take the bags you have and put them in the car?” I whispered when I got closer to him.

“Don't worry” he smiled. “I want to open the gifts with you while I have free time today”

“Oh, really?” I smiled. 

“Yeah! And maybe we can finally post the gender reveal, huh?” he smiled, wrapping his free arm around my shoulders and kissing my cheek. “They asked me too about the gender”

“Then I guess it's time to say it” I smiled softly, looking at him.

He chuckled, kissing my temple as we walked towards the paddock doors, holding the ID card in my hand, and feeling the beating of my heart in my ears, reading on the screen different words from what I'm used to under a picture of myself.

Scuderia Ferrari

Dafne Morelli

Guest

I sighed, pushing the bar with my hand and walked through the gate, mechanics shouted, tools clanged, and engines roared—familiar sounds, but now they felt like echoes of a past life.  A rush of warmth hit me, but it wasn’t the Bahrain sun, it was the bittersweet feeling of home I wasn’t sure I belonged to anymore.

“Here we go” I sighed, holding Charles hand when he stood next to me.

“It will be okay” he smiled, squeezing my hand softly. “Just relax, yeah? Smile and laugh, think about the dinner you'll have once we get back in the hotel”

“Hey, don't tease a pregnant woman that way” I laughed softly.

He smiled and squeezed his hand softly around mine, walking through the paddock and the bunch of photographers that went crazy the moment they saw us.

I looked at Charles, smiling softly at him as he squeezed my hand when the cameras started to capture pictures of us together, holding hands, with all the rivalry we held during the previous seasons completely vanished.

Some drivers walked towards us, most of them clearly surprised to see us together. The new rookies, Ollie and Kimi, were surprised to see me there with Charles.

“Never in my life I imagined I could see this” Ollie laughed softly looking at me, making me roll my eyes. 

“Well, get used to it” I chuckled. “How is the new season, huh? Haas is taking care of you?”

“Yeah, they are nice” he nodded. 

“And Esteban?” I smiled fakely. 

“Yeah… You already know the answer” he sighed, smiling weakly.

“I still owe him a punch in the face” I said, half joking. “If you need anything, you know you can tell me, okay? Both of you”

“Yeah, sure” Kimi and Ollie smiled.

I smiled proudly looking at them. Last season, Ollie took my seat in a race because of a lesion I had after crashing in a practice, hurting my shoulder and making me feel pain every time I moved my arm. And since that moment, Ollie became my protegé.

“How's the baby going, by the way?” Ollie asked me, smiling softly while he looked at my belly.

“He's calm” I smiled, biting my lip.

“He? Is a boy? No way!” both rookies exclaimed.

“Ahhh! We haven't announced it yet!” Charles and I laughed. “We will post the reveal today”

I smiled at Charles and kissed his cheek, wrapping my arm around him. We waved goodbye to both rookies and started our way towards the hospitality, meeting other drivers and people we knew and stopping to talk with them.

When we finally entered the Ferrari building, everyone inside of it looked at us surprised. Or more like, surprised to see me.

“Oh my God, Dafne!”

I smiled softly, watching the people that were on my team last year walk towards me, opening their arms to hug me.

“I missed you, guys” I smiled softly, with emotion filling my voice. 

“God, we're so happy you are okay” one of my old mechanics said. “And you look more beautiful than ever”

“Yeah… Pregnancy glow up, I guess” I chuckled, rubbing my belly softly. 

“How far are you?” one of them asked.

“Six months” I smiled. 

“Six months… Monza!” they gasped.

“Yeah…” I chuckled, blushing deeply when I connected my gaze with Charles', watching him smile proudly.

“Good to know the disaster of that night turned into something better” they chuckled.

I smiled weakly and nodded, reaching Charles' hand and squeezing it twice. He smiled and kissed my temple, understanding immediately that I wanted to go somewhere to be at peace.

We walked upstairs towards the rooms, and the moment I saw Lewis's name written on the door of what used to be my room, I felt my heart clenching tightly in my chest. I took a deep breath, faking a smile when Charles looked at me worried.

“I'm okay, really. Don't worry” I whisper. “I just need to sit”

“Dafne…”

“My back is killing me. Please, open the Goddamn door” I whisper. 

He sighed and nodded, opening the door and walking in after me. He placed the bags with gifts in the bed next to me and my bag on the chair. 

“Do you want to open some gifts before I go to the conference?” he asked, sitting next to me and rubbing my back.

“Yeah, I guess” I smiled softly.

He sighed, rubbing my back gently and letting me rest my head on his shoulder.

“I know this is too much for you… I really know it” he whispered. “But… Please, do this for me?”

“I know, I'm trying” I whisper. “But please, understand how I'm feeling… Do you understand how bad and betrayed I felt when they never reached for me? How… How easy it was for them to put Hamilton in my seat. They knew every way to get in touch with me, but they never tried… I just feel that they were already talking on my back, getting a deal done while I was still in the team, and the moment I needed to be away, they took the opportunity to call him and make it official”

“I know, love, I know” he sighed. “I'm disappointed with that too…”

“Then, please… Just… Give me time to get used to this” I sighed. “To… To see him driving my car”

“Of course, my love” he whispered, kissing my forehead. “And you'll always have me here to talk about this, okay? I'll always be here whenever you need to get your frustrations out”

 smiled at him through the tears I refused to let fall. Even though everything had changed, I knew I still had him. And for now, that had to be enough.

charles_leclerc, dafnemorelli

liked by dafnemorelli, pierregasly olliebearman and 671.571 others

charles_leclerc The last month has been a huge rollercoaster of emotions. And, because I love my family and I don't want any of you creating fake narratives to hurt us, I want to explain everything.

Yes. I did have something with Melanie. But that situationship ended, at least to me, the moment I saw her with another man in my bed. After that, I cut contact with her. I realized that what I had with her was something toxic that hurt me, financially and mentally. 

With the recent news of her supposed pregnancy, she decided to come to where my family was, interrupting the peace of my home, to break the news and blame me for getting her pregnant, which ended in a lie. I set up a lawsuit against her, making sure she stays away from me and my family, as well as demanding a fake pregnancy to steal my own money and break my own family.

Dafne and I are better than ever. I love her from the bottom of my heart, and things like this make me realize that fighting for her and for my family is everything I have to do to make myself happy in this life.

So, please. Me and my family would appreciate it if you respect us. Please, believe me when I say that it would mean the world to me.

comments are not allowed 

dafnemorelli, charles_leclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, olliebearman, oscarpiastri and 827.279 others

dafnemorelli Dear son:

I can't wait to meet you. I know that it took me a while to accept your existence because I knew the consequences of having you, but now I can't help it and dream every night with the moment you are finally in my arms.

Your dad and I are so happy to know that you are a healthy baby that is constantly reminding us that we are drivers because you are all the time thinking you are pressing the gas pedal against my ribs. The first moment we heard your heart beat, we cried of happiness, watching on a screen how you were warm and safe in my womb, growing constantly until the time of coming arrives.

Everyone here is so excited to finally meet you, you will be so loved. You  have the best people in the world waiting for you, to hold you and hove you love and joy.

Dorian Jules Hervé Leclerc, we can't wait to have you in our arms, to hold you and kiss you, to show you how much we love you. We promise to keep you safe and happy.

show all comments

charles_leclerc Can't want to have our son finally with us

arthur_leclerc I'm starting a bet. Who says Charles will cry during labor? 🙋🏻 soleil_morelli 🙋🏼‍♀️ ericamorelli 🙋🏻‍♀️ maxverstappen1 🙋🏻 pierregasly 🙋🏼 scuderiaferrari 🙋🏻‍♂️ F1 🙋🏻‍♂️ charles_leclerc 🙋🏻 I'm not hiding, I know I will dafnemorelli oh my god😂

pierregasly Dorian will be the happiest baby in the world because he will have the coolest uncle ever

oscarpiastri which is me, of course  pierregasly Eh… no? olliebearman Of course it will be me, guys landonorris Guys come on, the coolest uncle will be me, I have experience in that subject, just ask my nieces carlossainz55 you all are so wrong

f1 we're already making posts about baby Leclerc! Can't wait to see him in the paddock

scuderiaferrari that baby is the tifosiest tifosi that have ever existed! Can't wait to send Ferrari baby merch to Dorian!!!

charles_leclerc tifosiest tifosi😂😂😂 scuderiaferrari I mean, it's true dafnemorelli I approve it! Please make a onesie with those words. I need it. Newborn size, please scuderiaferrari Sir, yes sir🫡

dafneismymom IT'S A BOY!!! OMG I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE BABY LECLERC!!!!

fewawifan uh… did someone notice that the baby won't have Dafne's surname? He will have Charles’... As if they were, you know… 💍👩🏻‍❤️‍👨🏻🤵🏻👰🏻‍♀️👀 sharlesperceval fewawifan OH SHIT!!!!  sharlesfan DID SOMEONE NOTICE THE RING???? SHE NEVER HAD THAT RING BEFORE

The sound of the cars always brought me adrenaline. No matter how loud they were, it always made me smile wide. I always enjoyed going to watch other races to study the track and how it worked the race day, waking up early to be there and cheer for the inferior categories, making time to stop by and congratulate the winners before I had to do my own race. And after the races, I went to the hospitality to take notes of all the things I noticed during the races to tell them to my engineers.

“People say that babies remember what they hear when they are in the womb, you know?” Charles said, pulling down his phone after taking a few pictures of the Formula 2 cars that just crossed the line.

“Oh, really?” I chuckled, rubbing my belly. “Then I guess Dorian will know how a car sounds, huh?”

“Oh yeah” he laughed. “This baby will dream with cars. And I couldn't be happier because of that”

“Careful, maybe we are raising a future champion” I teased him. “I bet he would be better than his father…”

“I wouldn't be mad, actually” he laughed. “I would be so proud of him, no matter what he does”

I smiled softly, holding his hand and kissing his cheek while we walked towards the podium ceremony, waiting for the drivers to step on it. Charles stood behind me, hugging me and rubbing my belly softly, kissing the back of my head. 

“What do you want to do today?” he whispered in my ear. “Will you watch the race in the garage with the team or in the hospitality with my brothers?”

“I'm the garage, always” I chuckled. “The question is offensive”

“Hey, I was just wondering” he chuckled. “But yeah, I'll make sure they put a chair for you, so you can be comfortable, okay?”

“That would be lovely, babe” I smiled, leaning on him.

After the podium ceremony of Formula 2, I walked with him towards the hospitality, watching him getting ready and helping him with whatever he needed.

Being in the hospitality brought me anxiety whenever I crossed paths with Lewis or Fred, with voices in my head teasing me, telling me that I was betrayed and they did everything in my back, reminding me how easy it was for the team to get used to Lewis. No matter how gentle or friendly Lewis could be, the last three days I kept my distance with him, only nodding at him whenever he greeted me. 

“You are pouting” Charles teased.

“What? No, I'm not” I frowned.

“Yes, you are” he chuckled. “Come on, you miss that much being in the suit? I have to confess that sometimes I have dreams of you wearing it again, only to remember how good your ask looked with it”

“Charles!” I gasped, throwing him a pillow and aiming to his face. “Oh God, you are stupid!”

“What? I was telling the truth! The suit made your ass look so amazing! You have an idea of how many times I had to slap other drivers whenever they looked at you? A lot!” he laughed, making me blush and look away.

“Idiot” I groaned, biting my lip. “But I have to say that feels good knowing that I was the wet dream of many drivers”

“Oh, yeah, you were” he laughed. “But now I'm the only one that can have wet dreams of you, so you'll have to settle with that”

“Mhm, I do” I chuckled.

He laughed, throwing back his head, making me smile. I rubbed my belly gently, looking at him while hearing his laugh. I would love it if our baby had his laugh, as well as his smile.

“Are you ready?” he asked me. “Come on. let’s have something for lunch before I head to the garage and plan the strategies”

I smiled softly, nodding and holding his hand while we walked out the room. In the Ferrari hospitality there was most of the time past for lunch, or even pizza, something that always was good for the race days. When I raced I always had pasta carbonara with a small plate of carrot and cucumber with hummus, and always tried to drink water whenever I could, carrying a bottle with a straw under my arm all the time.

“What do you think about today’s race?” I asked him, smiling when the plate of pasta carbonara was placed in front of me by a waitress, making me smile and nod at him. 

“Well, starting third is not bad” he nodded, sighing. “And like last season, McLaren is strong too. Red Bull is not a threat anymore, so in that part I’m happy. Mercedes looks good too, Kimi started this season pretty good, but I think they won’t be a problem for us neither”

“So it’s McLaren against Ferrari, then” I nodded. 

I brought the fork with the past to my mouth and smiled, chewing it and sighing happily. As always, Ferrari has the best restaurant service.

“Oh, I was thinking about something, and I wanted to comment it with you”  I said, taking a deep breath, cleaning my lips with a napkin. 

“What is it?” he smiled looking at me.

“Well… When the other day you told me about doing something with my influence on girls that come into racing, I talked with my sister Erica” I smiled. “When I told them that I was going to retire from racing, I asked them to go find drivers in the F1 Academy. And I was thinking about, well, talking with Susie Wolff and somehow being a part of the academy”

“That would be amazing, Dafne” he smiled, holding my hand across the table. “I’m sure they would be so excited with that. Having you with them will be so important. If you need it, I will help you with that”

I smiled softly at him, feeling my heart beating fast for him, somehow excited for this new start in my career. 

We had lunch together and after that I went to his room to get some things ready while he had meetings and the driver’s parade, as well as getting the car ready in the starting grid. When it was time to go to the garage, Charles walked in the room to get changed into his racing suit and do some warmups.

“I put a high chair for you on my side of the garage, as well as a bottle of water and a set of headphones” he said, kissing my forehead. 

“Thank you, love” I smiled softly, closing my eyes when I felt his lips on my skin.

We walked together towards the garage, and I smiled when I saw the chair he mentioned with a bottle of water on top of it with the headset that will help me follow his race. I chuckled, holding his hand and sitting on the hair chair with his help, smiling at him when he put the headset on my head, chuckling softly when he kissed my lips softly.

“I’ll come back to you, okay?” he smiled, placing his hand on my belly and rubbing it softly. “With a trophy”

“Go beat everyone’s asses” I chuckled against his lips.

Before I knew it, the hum of the crowd surrounded me as I sat on the edge of the chair, watching the Bahrain Grand Prix unfold before my eyes. I could feel the vibrations of the engines through my body as the cars lined up on the grid. It was surreal being here, watching from the other side of the fence, no longer the one buckling myself into a car.

Charles was in the car, visor down, completely in the zone. I’d seen that look on his face a hundred times before, but today, it filled me with a strange mix of pride and anxiety. I wasn’t the one driving, but I still felt every ounce of tension in my muscles, the way I used to before the lights went out.

The sound of the engines roared to life, filling the air with a deafening crescendo as the cars drove off the grid. I instinctively leaned forward, my heart racing with them, watching Charles' red Ferrari as he made a clean getaway. He held onto third position going into the first corner, battling wheel-to-wheel with Oscar. It was good, a solid start. I exhaled a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.

“Come on, Charles,” I whispered under my breath. My fingers absentmindedly traced circles on my belly. The baby was quiet, and for a moment, I wondered if they could feel the energy around us too.

As the race unfolded, Charles was pushing hard, but so was Oscar, and behind him, Max was closing the gap. I could see the strain in Charles' driving, the tightness in his lines as he tried to defend his position. Every corner felt like a potential turning point. One mistake, and it could all go wrong.

By lap 20, Charles was holding onto second, having overtaken Oscar with a beautiful move into Turn 10, and my heart leaped. I couldn’t help but smile, proud as hell of him. He was driving with such precision, so smooth. I knew how much this race meant to him, the start of the season, the chance to finally take home a win in Bahrain.

But then, things started to change. The tires. I could see it on the screens before the radio even confirmed it. Charles was losing grip, his times dropping lap by lap. Lando was extending his lead, and Oscar was creeping closer. My chest tightened. I hated this part, knowing something was slipping away and being utterly powerless to stop it.

The mechanics sprung into action after Charles was called in to box, their movements swift and practiced, but I could see it in their eyes too. The strategy was slipping through their fingers, and they were trying to hold on. Charles came in for his stop, the tires swapped in what felt like a blink, but as he rejoined the track, Oscar had jumped him in the pits. Third.

“Come on, love, you’ve got this,” I muttered under my breath, hoping somehow my words could reach him through the roar of the engines and the noise of the crowd.

The laps ticked down, and while Charles was pushing -God, was he pushing- he couldn’t close the gap to Oscar. Ladno was long gone, and now the fight was between Charles and Max for the final podium spots. I could see the frustration building in him. He was trying everything, braking late, taking tighter lines, but it wasn’t enough. The tires just weren’t holding up.

With two laps to go, Max was right on his tail, and I knew this was going to be a dogfight to the finish. My heart pounded in my chest as they went side-by-side into Turn 1. Charles defended brilliantly, but it was costing him time, and I could hear the tension in the engineers’ voices as they relayed data to him.

I clenched my fists, my nails digging into my palms. It was so hard to watch. I knew that feeling, that helplessness of knowing you’re giving everything, and it still might not be enough.

The final lap came, and my breath caught in my throat as Charles and Max fought all the way down to the final corner. The Ferrari fans were on their feet, shouting, willing Charles to hold onto third.

But Max got him. It was so close. My stomach dropped as I watched Charles cross the line in fourth.

He hadn’t won. He hadn’t even made the podium.

The garage was silent for a beat, everyone processing the outcome. I swallowed hard, forcing myself to breathe. My heart ached for him. I knew how much this hurt, how much he’d wanted this.

I watched as Charles pulled into the pit lane, his helmet still on as he climbed out of the car. Even from a distance, I could see the tension in his shoulders, the disappointment radiating off him.

The crowd’s cheers for the podium finishers were a dull roar in the background as I made my way over to him. He pulled off his helmet and wiped the sweat from his brow, his eyes finding mine as I approached. Without a word, I wrapped my arms around him, resting my head on his chest, feeling the rapid rise and fall of his breathing. He hugged me back tightly, and for a moment, the world around us disappeared.

“I’m sorry” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Charles. You drove brilliantly.” I pulled back slightly, looking up at him. 

He sighed, his frustration evident, but he nodded, his hand moving to rest gently on my belly. 

“For you and the baby” he said softly, his voice tinged with sadness.

“We’re both so proud of you” I whispered, standing on my toes to kiss his cheek. “There’ll be other races. You’ll get your win.”

 “I hope so.” he smiled weakly, his eyes softening as he looked at me.

We stood there for a moment longer, just the two of us, before the noise of the paddock started to filter back in. The season was long, and there would be more chances. But for now, we had each other. And that was enough.

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[butterflydm]

wot rewatch 1x8: the eye of the world

I made it before the new season started! <3

spoilers for the first season of WoT and for most of the s2 teasers that we've gotten. For the books... um... honestly mostly stuff from Eye of the World that didn't end up in the show, lol. Oh, and for New Spring, I guess.

@apocalypticavolition mentioned that Perrin's original plot was probably helping Lan track Moiraine - that makes a lot of sense! It would have given Perrin a chance to flex his heightened senses and it might have even given Lan a chance to name-drop Elyas.

Okay, wow, yay! Our Completely Old Tongue scene from Age of Legends. When this first opened and they were just... talking in the Old Tongue... I was so blown away. I was not expecting it. I think they've hinted that we might get more Old Tongue scenes in s2 as well, which would be fantastic.

I'm glad that I read The Strike on Shayol Ghul short story -- they really did pull a lot of the info from that story for this scene, so that was very cool to see.

There is definitely a lot more focus on "Dragon as father" here than in the books (and I wonder if the tragedy of him murdering his family is going to focus more on killing his kids and not solely about killing his wife, once we get into that)

And the reveal at the end that '3000 years ago' was actually futuristic and we're living in a post-apocalyptic landscape, which is a great reframing for anyone who didn't already know.

Love all our Moiraine & Rand ~bonding time~ here (for various values of bonding time, lol). Definitely curious about where that relationship is going to go over the course of s2.

Egwene and Perrin checking in with each other is a sweet moment. Yeah, things Got Weird last episode due to stress and Nynaeve accidentally telling a secret that wasn't hers, but it hasn't wrecked their friendship.

And if Perrin is the one helping Lan here (supernaturally), then Lan and Nynaeve's scene would have just been the romantic goodbye.

Ishamael notes here that he didn't think that Rand was the Dragon Reborn. It sounds like he was expecting Rand to look more like LTT did. I really do love him calling Rand "Lews Therin", poor Rand. The identity issues are only going to get worse, bb. Love that Rand starts their conversation with an arrow to the face.

"Ever since the day I channeled, I hear nothing [from the wind]" is our first allusion to Nynaeve's block, I believe.

Moiraine tapdancing around the truth as hard as possible so that she doesn't have to admit that she physically can't teach Rand channeling. She's even willing to share one of her traumas with Rand in order to avoid admitting it! Also, I do think that Elaida's willingness to turn to violence is going to stand out a lot more in a world where teaching isn't always accompanied by brutality, as it is in the books.

haha, I totally forgot about this scene with Min and the others. Maybe because it doesn't really tell us anything we aren't going to learn immediately even without her (a nod to how pointless Min's viewings mostly are in the books? lol) but it does prompt Min to get out of the city on the wagons, I'm guessing.

Apologies to all the people who worked hard on the battle scenes but I don't ever have much to say about things like that.

Rand already getting memories (and Moiraine seeing him remember) plus Rand trying to protect people from getting hurt because they're standing next to him. (and Rand trying to give an order that Moiraine immediately ignores lol)

yeah if Lan had a companion (like Perrin) then his scenes here would have actually had some dialogue - they may have even given Rand the line about Malkier because they wanted to get the info out but it was originally supposed to come out in dialogue between Lan and Perrin.

Aww, family moment between the Agelmars. It's sweet. I honestly barely remember the Agelmars from the books, so this was an improvement. "Buy enough time to stand a chance" is going to be a big theme, too.

We also kinda get confirmation here that Darkfriends have been more effective in the show-verse than they were in the books-verse (it seems like more knowledge has been destroyed).

18. So, given what we've seen in the teasers of Ishy getting Lanfear from a seal, it seems like this specific spot is where LTT sealed Ishamael in particular (half-sealed?) and he released Ishamael fully when he cracked the seal. Before this, we only see Ishy working in people's dreams and then, in s2, he gets to actually exist in the waking world.

19. While I do see the effects of the covid shutdown and new rules in the battle scenes (and am looking forward to seeing them pop off without those setbacks in s2!); the scenes with Rand in the dream and Rand against Ishamael are perfect and I will hear no arguments against them. Rand is, ultimately, a philosophical hero and not a battle hero. He gets that wrong a lot in the books! But things tend to backfire on him when he tries to force himself into the battle hero position.

20. And we have ~the temptation~ here, with Egwene and little Joiya (and the mention of Mat, which was fascinating at the time and remains utterly fascinating; that fake!Egwene makes a point of mentioning Mat in Rand's temptation dreamworld).

21. The imagery for what Ishamael does to Moiraine is pretty much exactly like the shielding on Logain and not anything like when Logain was severed later in the episode, so I will (one last time before the new season lol) put my bet in that she was shielded. Ishamael is just able to do a lot faster than the Aes Sedai. Also when Moiraine is right behind Rand like this, you can really see how similar their shirts really are in color.

22. Min is jetting out of Fal Dara as fast as she can -- show!Min actually seems aware that she's not a fighter. #goodforher

23. But they did use needing to have Perrin in Fal Dara to give him a nice little scene with Loial that fed into the violence vs peace conflict.

24. Ishy really put in the work here (I'm assuming that it must have all been drawn from Rand's memories which, again, makes Egwene mentioning that Mat is saying he's going to make Joiya a lantern just incredibly fascinating). Ishamael waits until Rand falls for the trap to reveal to Rand what's going on (sorta). And both Ishy and Rand are working the angles here -- Ishy pretends that he wants Rand to pick the dream world and... you know, that would be useful but... he still wins if Rand fights him because that surge of Power will break his seal. And Rand pretends that he's falling for the temptation but actually is looking for Ishy to give him some clues on how to access the Power on purpose.

25. Ah, s2 setup is happening: Perrin learns that the Dragon needs the Horn at the Last Battle; and Fain was given the password to get into the fortress, which means there's a Darkfriend who knows the passwords.

26. I 100% approve of the show making joining a circle dangerous. In the books, circles are so completely underused and it feels silly because they are very low risk. People should be in circles all the time; especially when things get dangerous.

27. Lots of emphasis on fatherhood this season -- Rand's struggle about Tam being his father; Rand's desire to be a father (expressed both in ep1 and here with Joiya). We also had Siuan's relationship with her father being a key element of her character.

28. Rand loves Egwene enough to know that their paths have diverged and it would be wrong to try to force her onto the same path as him just because he loves her.

29. Very cute that Rand thinks he just defeated the Dark One. I want to give him a pet on his fluffy (currently sweaty lol) head).

30. Perrin gets the infodump from Fain instead of it being Mat. It's a good infodump, from someone who definitely, obviously has an agenda.

31. Rand thinks he's succeeded, so he leaves on his own so that he won't hurt the ones he loved. Baby. Off he goes, into the big world of Making Bad Life Choices, bless him.

32. And the poor little girl who, at least, probably died quickly? The show did such a good job with the Seanchan. Both here and in what we've seen so far in the teasers for s2. They are gonna be extremely creepy and heartbreaking and scary. You can definitely see tear-tracks on the face of one of the damane here.

[xerith-42]

Minecraft Diaries Stoner Headcanons

Part 2 in the Aphverse Stoner Series!

Disclaimer: I haven't watched Season 3! I mean, I have, but I don't remember any of it other than that Blaze was in it-- And I just checked the wiki and he's a villain? Uhm. No, he isn't. Hatsune help me I'm going to have to make a whole post about that now... anyways, pretend Blaze is just like another guard Irena gathered because she just collects them like they're pokemon.

Blaze our beloved to start us off. Uh, pipe weed is really common in Ru'aun, it's actually a primary export. And well, Blaze is a pretty big fan of it. Once when he's smoking weed with his friend, he comes to a realization.

"Listen, listen. We use earth with the plant, fire by lighting it, and air to inhale it. What we're missing is water." I am saying that Blaze made the first bong in the MCD universe. Or that he at least came up with it and was credited for the original idea. These two are very proud of their idea and want to spread it everywhere.

Pipe weed is not allowed at the guard academy, and guards are expected to remain sober, even though alcohol is okay?? Doesn't really make sense to a lot of new cadets, including Laurance, who's able to smuggle it in, and hide it from Garroth.

Vylad does actually smoke pipe weed, particularly while on his own during those 15 years. It helps relax their muscles, and causes a sort of numbness that helps keep the calling quiet.

When he tells Laurance of this, both of them share it together at some point.

Dante used to smoke weed with Laurance on slow nights in Phoenix Drop, and even smoked it with Nicole a few times. He quit when he found out Nana was pregnant.

The number one smoker is Travis. His mom had a stock pile of it he found, enough to last years, and it's one of the main things he brings with him to Ru'aun.

When Travis and Blaze meet, they are instant friends. I don't know what happens in Season 3, but this is all that matters to me. They would be BESTIES!!

Despite being banned by the church, Zane is in a position of power so the rules don't apply to him. He never does it when he has something serious going on, but when Zane has some downtime, he'll light up a bowl to take the strain out of his shoulders.

A downside of being a Shadow Knight is that your lungs are much more used to inhaling smoke and dealing with heat thanks to the Nether, so they have some insane tolerance. Like, Vylad was smoking so much, and Laurance is never not frustrated at how much he has to go through in a single sitting just to feel something.

And Aaron? When he was a father? And a Lord?? Of course he was smoking. He was very careful about it, and kept it away from Jacob. And as he traveled with the rest of the cast, he was always careful to hide it from the kids. He didn't quite mind if anyone else saw, as long as they were smart enough not to ask for it.

Travis is not smart enough.

Also Aaron likes wearing the bandana when he accidentally gets a little too high so no one can see how bloodshot his eyes are. Irena can tell by the way he stumbles a little more than usual.

Zoey? Pot head. She's literally an immortal elf, she has tried every drug Ru'aun has ever had and then some. She stops smoking it as much when she's taking care of the kids, but after the group is gone for a few years and she spends more nights searching for a way to bring them back, she picks it back up to try and seem less stressed when people talk to her.

I feel like all Lords smoke just a little. Like, it's such a stressful job. You're constantly having to care for so many people, be a master of subjects you might not have studied, and who knows when one day you wake up to the news that you have to ready yourself for war. People need a way to relieve the stress.

Except Irena. She tried it once when she caught Aaron smoking and it tasted so bad and she did not enjoy the feeling at all. When she becomes friends with Blaze he tries to coax her into it, but she never caves, and he backs off.

LUCINDA on the other hand!! She's a witch! She's a bit of an herbalist! Does she know the perfect growing conditions for the plant of origin and how to cultivate it's harvest for maximum output?? You bet your ass she does!

Blaze x Lucinda x Travis polycule when?

The first time Lucinda and Blaze meet each other he tells her about his innovation of using glass devices to create water vapor that you can smoke, and Lucinda very eagerly drags him into her brewing room and just proudly goes "I have a cauldron!! >:)" And Blaze gets so excited!! He's already trying to figure out what he would have to custom order to work with this, but he needs to try it.

Wait why is that adorable I need to write that now.