#Satoru Psyche
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Satoru's Psyche|Teaser
"Now…would you say that human nature led me to this? Or am I a product of the cards I've been dealt?"
🗂️Patient File: Patient Gojo has been admitted to a specialized psychiatric hospital following a compulsive massacre and assault on the city of Shibuya|Causes/triggers that led to the patient’s mental decline and subsequent carnage in Shibuya are currently speculative; however, they are suspected to be linked to a prolonged period of confinement within a cube-like structure. Information regarding the mechanics of this structure and the patient’s history remain undisclosed to the ward and the public. 🩺Job Description: You are the only nurse in Tokyo—specifically assigned by an unknown secret society related to the patient—who is able to manage and care for patient Gojo. His violent and erratic behavior has left multitudes of staff members in shambles and disarray as he quickly disposed of them one after another. But for reasons unknown—a complete mystery to yourself as well—you have somehow managed to cross Gojo's barriers and earn his approval to be his one and only caretaker. Your duties include: daily routine patient care, observation and monitoring, therapy, adherence to protocol, and thorough documentation to be directly reported to the Director at the end of every shift. Be wary: Patient Gojo exhibits characteristics consistent with an extensive history of manipulation, obsessive behavior, and charismatic engagement. The patient's ability to charm and manipulate requires that staff be particularly cautious about their own psychological well-being. Exercise heightened emotional regulation and remain professional at all times to ensure that personal feelings do not affect judgment or quality of patient care. 📋Length of Admission (w.c): 10 unpredictable intervals 💊Intake Chart (tags): Patient is prone to: sporadic fits of violence; manipulation; flirtatious conduct, verbiage, and assault; over-obsessive tendencies; fluctuating attachment styles, narcissistic dialogue, and an insatiable compulsive urge to [REDACTED]. 🏥Orientation: August 14, 2024 [OUT NOW]
doctor's angel's note: - Check the acknowledgment box (like) - Forward your copy (reblog) to accept this position. - Sign below (comment) to subscribe to the patient's weekly updates (tag list). S/O: @blkkizzat for the teaser inspo|Check out their teaser of the juicy, delectable Yakuza!Toji x Reader story that I cannot wait to get my hands on, The Nursery
#bluuharem#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk fic#jjk imagines#jjk x y/n#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojou satoru x reader#jjk smut#gojo smut#jjk gojo#satoru x reader#satoru x you#satoru x y/n#Satoru Psyche
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i love this tiktok
#awaart#digital art#lol i started drawing this in my psych waiting room#gego#stsg#satosugu#sugusato#geto suguru#gojo satoru#jjk
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Request: Getou feels bad for secretly liking Gojo’s gf and making excuses to touch her.
the enormity of my desire disgusts me
contents: f!reader, one-sided love, obsession, cursing, touching (not unwanted but the intention is unbeknownst to reader as geto makes it a point to always want physical contact w them), mentions of self-destructive behaviors, guilt, & delusions. w.c: ~ 2.3k
a/n: hi! tysm for requesting :’) this is my first ever request/first time writing so please bear w me & i hope you enjoy! constructive criticism is totally welcome! <3
guilt creeps up suguru’s throat like a slithering serpent.
it crawls around the base of his tongue, writhing farther down, embedding its fangs into the flesh of his throat. a raw, mangled, bloody mess left in its wake.
remorse, witnessing the disarray that guilt’s plight leaves, frantically tries to discern where a home can be made. perhaps it can dance along his ribcage. pirouetting across his bones until it reaches a bloody cavern where it can dwell within a hole burrowed deep inside suguru’s heart.
maybe all of this despair can be washed away… a desire to cleanse his palate & purge his feelings away persists, yet he doesn’t allow himself the reprieve.
instead, he decides to swallow his shame down like a bitter whiskey, relishing in the thorn-like pin prickles. the harsh amber reflecting in his fatigued, glassy eyes.
the ache serves as a reminder.
suguru figures that the sharp gnawing pain that spikes his heart & torments his throat is the very least he deserves.
his therapist did say he had a tendency to wallow in his self-destructive thoughts. delude himself & cyclically make bad choices which turned into bad habits. but what’s another bad decision to him? a pyromaniac to his very core; suguru would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t enjoy playing with fire.
allowing himself a moment of respite, he fishes out a cigarette he stole out of shoko’s purse from the left pocket of his leather jacket. a silver heart-shaped vivienne westwood lighter in the right. he takes it out, rolling it softly in his warm palm, lackadaisically playing with the switch. imagining the cold metal were your cold hands instead, his own seeking to offer up warmth for your comfort. he gazes softly at the flame; flickering on and off. on and off. on and off. a burning fire reflected in his eyes. a burning desire razing his heart.
the whole world in the palm of his hands — the heart you presented to him.
(a gift from you to him — you begged him to quit smoking, it was bad for his health and you wanted him to be there in the future as best man at yours & satoru’s wedding. with a tight-lipped smile & crinkled eyes, he said he would.
always the deceiver.
you lit up, gaze softening while telling him to specifically use this lighter to light up the teakwood candle you bought him for his birthday. his smile turned fond, eyes crinkled softly with genuine mirth & adoration, he said he would. and he did.
always the sentimentalist.)
bringing the cigarette to his lips, he exhales a puff of smoke, allowing his low-lidded gaze to flit across the room. the warm lights illuminating the grungy bar, a favorite of nanami’s & shoko’s.
he reminisces on the days where both of you would talk for hours. from deep conversations about space, morality, your futures & pasts, to asking each other about what food you’d eat for eternity (cold zaru soba noodles for him, any form of potato for you), savory or sweet (both of you chose savory — suguru relishes in the fact that he has a connection with you on this), & if you two would still be best friends if the other one was a worm (both of you answered yes — you’d build a terrarium where wormguru could play & suguru would keep you in his pocket not caring if he’d be dubbed the weirdly hot worm-man.) from the serious to the silly, suguru felt his chest bloom with tender warmth. from the bottom of his heart, he knows that in this world and any others, he could truly be himself with you.
a soft sigh escapes him, a small smile gracing his face thinking about his memories with you. calling the bartender over for another drink after he downs his whiskey, he drawls out, “give me somethin’ sweet.”
he turns back around to the crowd of strangers, unintentionally smiling. he finds a few pretty boys & girls gawking at him, hyping themselves and each other up to go talk to him. he sees a few more pretty boys & girls looking away from his intense gaze, too shy to go up to him, praying instead that he’ll go to them.
the grin that previously took residence on his face falters. he finds himself upset that they’d think his smile was reserved for any one of them. none of them pique his interest per usual, & he hopes that the bags underneath his eyes, his myriad of piercings & tattoos, chipped black nail polish, and overall resting bitch face will stop anyone from coming near him.
(he knows it won’t. people often went after suguru and not satoru. he was always more caring, more in tune with his emotions with an air of magnetic mystique, unlike his brash, loud, & arrogant counterpart.)
suguru intakes a sharp breath, surprising himself with the haughty & bitter thought against his best friend, quickly washing it down with a sweet daiquiri hoping to honey the words in both his throat & mind, while simultaneously praying that it would soothe his heart.
slightly more alert, his gaze wanders around the room again. tired eyes widening slightly, lighting up greatly when he sees you.
there you were in all of your glory.
sitting leisurely, a leg swung upon the other, arm resting over the back of the tattered red vinyl couch, the very same one you both had countless conversations on. how were you so effortlessly cool? you could do anything and suguru would revel in it — drawn to you like a moth to a flame.
and like a moth, he found himself gliding across the bar towards you, his feet moving faster than his brain. his body demanding that it be near you, that it be graced with your presence. with a flick of his ring-clad fingers, his cigarette is crushed underneath his black boots. a piece of strawberry gum is popped inside his mouth along with another reapplication of vanilla lip balm to his lips to make sure that you knew they were soft to the touch.
with his heart beating ridiculously fast, he takes a deep breath before he stands in front of you, your perfume enveloping his senses making him slightly delirious from how delectable you smell. he prays that the blush dusting his cheeks fools you into thinking that he just drank too much; that it’s not because of you peering up at him through your lashes with your pretty eyes that are now affectionately directed towards his own.
“yo! suguru! long time no see!” you wave as you get up to greet him, a massive grin overtaking your face, eyes almost crinkled shut because you’re so excited to see one of your best friends.
without warning, suguru envelops you into a tight hug. his left hand placed against your lower back while his right hand cradles your head against his chest, your cheek pressing against his beating heart. suguru places his chin on the top of your head, craning his face slightly to get a whiff of your shampoo, ghosting a faint kiss on your hair that he knows you don’t feel, relishing in this moment with you. for a few seconds he can pretend… he deserves that much at least, he figures.
he could stay holding you in his arms forever, your body pressed up against his, protecting you from everything & everyone bad in this world, shielding you from predatory eyes around the bar. fucking wolves, the lot of them — suguru contemptuously thinks. it’s a good thing you’re here in his arms, suguru muses, confident in his ability to keep you safe.
as quickly as that thought dashes through his brain, you pull away. not wanting to alarm you with his panic that you’d leave him, a tight grip stays around your waist, forcing you to sit back down. he positions himself right next to you, his thighs touching your own, his right arm draped across your shoulder.
something that you can consider friendly.
something that he can consider more than that.
affectionate, no matter which way you take it.
“it’s been a while.” a fond smile beams across his face, bright amber eyes desperately glazing over your face. you’re so close to him and he’s so attentive to you, he imagines that the boy across the bar must think you both look like a couple. the pleasure suguru derives from that thought is second to none. you do look like you’d be his. he’s certain that he looks like he’d be yours, if his devoted nature is anything to go by.
he takes a a few strands of your hair, twirling them slightly around his fingers. “what are you doing here anyways? i wish i saw you before, we could’ve hung out!” suguru teasingly pouts, lips slightly jutted out, his eyes twinkling with playful mirth.
“tell me about it,” you playfully whine. “thankfully i just got here so we have plenty of time to hang out! don’t worry, i’ll make up for it so you can forgive me.”
“you never have to apologize for anything.” seriousness takes over his tone. suguru doesn’t want you to ever feel bad, even as a joke. not wanting to make you uncomfortable with his tense energy, he eases up his features and winks, “don’t worry your pretty little head about it, i’ll let you off the hook this time.”
you bark out a laugh which makes him elated, glad that he was able to make you smile. “sugu, you’re way too sweet! and ooh — you asked what i was doing here! toru wanted to chill out here for a bit, said if he didn’t get to drink a virgin piña colada right this second he’d faint.” you gaze around the bar, muttering under your breath, “he should be on his way here soon…”
right… satoru.
suguru feels his mouth get dry by the second, a venomous pang of guilt daggers his heart. his eye twitches along with his fingers, wondering if he should take his arm off of you.
if satoru saw this would he just consider it friendly touching? would he think that suguru was trying to make the moves on you? would he scream in his face about how can his best friend stab him in the back this way? the bitter taste of betrayal coats suguru’s tongue like a curse, and before he can do anything about it, a big SMACK! on his shoulder wakes him out of his trance.
“SUGUUUUUUUU! I MISSED YOUUUUUUU!” satoru bursts out onto the scene loudly, holding both your & suguru’s shoulders from behind the couch, bringing you two towards each other in a massive hug. with satoru’s face in the middle, smooshing both of your & suguru’s cheeks against his, suguru can’t help but feel a gnawing sense of shame.
satoru, affectionate as ever, kisses you both on the cheek. snowy hair ruffling with his actions, aquamarine eyes twinkling as bright as starlight, white eyelashes fluttering against the pink blush hued upon his soft cheeks. from here, suguru can see the light dusting of freckles on satoru’s nose, & the lightest sheen of gloss on his pink lips. no doubt from kissing you before he got here.
a twisted part of suguru is thankful for the kiss on the cheek, your glossy residue imprinted on his skin. an indirect kiss, he muses.
“sorry it took so long, i had to park so far away. hope you didn’t miss me too much, angel.” satoru pecks you on the cheek again, cheekily stealing an upside down kiss on the lips from you while he’s at it.
“no worries baby, i had sugu to keep me company.” you smile wide, eyes softening as satoru smoothes down your hair.
suguru forgot.
satoru trusts him with his entire life. with you.
the loud, brash, arrogant, self-centered boy suguru knew as a teen had grown up. cleaning up his act the moment he met you. enamored with your beauty, kindness, & personable nature — satoru fell deeply in love. he was still loud, but only to proclaim his love on the rooftops for you. he was brash at times but never with you. his arrogance was also truly never unfounded, he was just that confident in his own self and in the relationship he could have with you. suguru still thinks satoru can be self-centered at times, but never about you.
satoru puts you forward in every single aspect of his life — devoted. loyal. faithful. unbelievably constant with his love & adoration for you. your perfect other half.
your true soulmate.
you’re his one and only. and he’s yours.
“satoru! it’s been a while.” suguru prays the loud music can cover up the slight crack in his voice. he can feel his throat constricting like a python, he coughs to clear it, wanting to rid himself of the strangling feeling. he does what he does best in that moment: putting on a facade. a tight-lipped smile along with crinkled eyes graces his features, and he hopes that both you & satoru mistake it for pure happiness.
“you good, man?” satoru tilts his head like a puppy, looking at him questioningly. you do the same, concern clouding your beautiful eyes. he’s terrified that you both could see right through him.
“yeah.” suguru whispers quietly.
the ache that torments his throat & spikes his heart serves as a reminder.
he puts his warm hand over your cold ones in a comforting gesture. for who would it bring solace? he doesn’t know. at this point in time, he can’t bring himself to care. “just the summer heat.”
he brushes his thigh against yours once again, fiddling with your fingers softly. he figures he can allow himself this.
glancing into your eyes, his reflection stares back him.
he accepts that living with this ache of shame & this disgusting sense of desire is the very least someone like him deserves.
he figures he should allow it to devour him.
#geto suguru x reader#getou suguru x reader#geto x reader#<- not really that’s just in geto’s mind#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#wanted to make this a deep dive in his psyche but also wormguru came to me in a dream and i had to mention it or i’d die#toji’s worm took one look at suguru & called him mommy… it was onto something… suguru gives mean hot girlfriend energy 95% of the time#my writing#personal
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((I will never shut up about all the parallels in jjk))
#yes I’m still on my crap about Yuji being a parallel to Suguru#look I just think it’s so tragedy coded ok#Gojo was meant to be the executioner of both#I am not okay#also the parallel of Gojo drawing out the execution order indefinitely#both Suguru and Yuji lived on borrowed time at Gojo’s hands#Gojo was like: ok nice this time I won’t get attached to the vessel and since I already killed my bf there’s nothing more to lose#Gojo- seeing what a cinnamon roll yuji is: oh no#i’m just sad okay#urghhhh#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#satosugu#yuji itadori#jjk itadori#angst#digital art#geto suguru#gojo and yuji#gojo satoru#Art#doodle#sketch#quick painting#painting#fanart#fanfiction#Gojo repeatedly talking of the impending execution is his way of psyching himself up for it#also the fear of Megumi trying to be the executioner instead as a sick way of comfort for Yuji#like no sir Satoru’s been there done that he will not allow Megumi to subject himself to that kind of pain
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#jjk#gojo satoru#geto suguru#jujutsu kaisen#sugusato#gego#satosugu#this manga panel cause irreparable damage to my psyche that I still don’t know how to cure#whenever I see ‘I had fun’ don’t even joke lad#and the fact that he felt fucking ALONE ALL THE TIME AND HE WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW NO ONE UNDERSTOOD HIM#no one but GETO AND THATS WHY HE WAS THERE WITH HIM IM SO SICK#so before you come at me I tag it sgst bc he’s having his last chat with Geto#so how is it not#jjk 236#the fact that it’s called the easy way out#gege……#anyway#manga spoilers#i guess????#if you don’t know he dies by this point idk what to say it was international news
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cool with you | gojo satoru x reader
/synopsis: for once, satoru felt the blooming desire of love.
/word count: 1k
/notes: cupid!gojo & cupid!geto, inspired by newjeans' cool with you mvs (so yeah expect the angst whwhw). somewhat reference to cupid and psyche. one-shot, gender-neutral pronouns. also crossposted on ao3.
Satoru, a god, and as beautiful as he was. Such a pity for humans who are unable to see his god-like beauty.
He was a known Cupid who never fails on his missions. He always make sure that his missions don’t go to a halt or fail. With just one gaze of his cerulean, Six Eyes, on his target. The effects of falling in love, connecting their hearts ensues between two people. The divine power within his Six Eyes is truly a glorious, pride, and joy of his as being The Cupid. Closely embodiment of Eros.
Cloudy, as Satoru already predicted that it would rain soon. He doesn’t forget to bring an umbrella when he knows it’s about to rain. A god like him will become visible to the human eye when they get showered in the rain.
He goes out on his another mission: making people fall in love. As he already activated the Six Eyes on his target, the mission is almost completed. The two people already looked at each other, lovingly. Satoru smiled affirmatively, opens his umbrella and walked away. The rain started to pour.
With the umbrella on, the rainfall somehow made him feel dull as he wondered what is it like to be a human. He sighed. Another mission was sent to him as he walked in the marbled hallways of the museum.
Looking for his target, he stumbled upon a majestic landscape painting of “Eros and Psyche”. With his cerulean eyes reflected upon on the painting, adoring the idealized love presented on the art. Something awakens within him. The feeling of love. A person walks beside him, admiring the painting he also admires.
Satoru, who connects people’s hearts with his Six Eyes, falls in love at first sight with a human in front of this painting. He lovingly gazed on the person on his side. The person unable to see him anyway.
Ironically, that was his supposed target for his mission.
Who cares? Rules are made to be broken. Cupids deserved to be loved too.
Every day and night, he always follows them like a guardian angel instead of a Cupid. He always look at them with adoration just like that painting. He was inspired. Deeply in love.
When the person is sleeping in the bed, he is always beside them, looking at them lovingly with his Six Eyes. Wanting to give them a kiss on their lips, he leaned over. A realization comes to him and he started to look upon the mirror on the bed side that shows only the reflection of them without him. He needs to be a human, a mortal to show his love to them.
Raining, he goes out on the street letting himself get rained on. Embracing himself as a human who is capable to love and able to connect with his love. He abandoned her identity as a god, as a Cupid. With his arms open wide on the rainy skies, accepting the feeling of love wholly.
Satoru, now visible to human eyes, he make known himself to the person he deeply desires, the one he deeply want to showered his love on. The person stood there, transfixed on his cerulean eyes, literally love at first sight, they accepted him. Both felt the love, the joy, and the desire of one another. Happily in love everyday. Sharing kisses, hugs, cuddles, comfort, going on dates, name any sweet couple would do. Satoru truly meet the love of his life.
-
One fateful day, Satoru sighed deeply knowing his actions have consequences which he broken the rule and failed his supposed mission, which is his lover. He knows that someday or sooner a Cupid will intervene their relationship. A god like him and human should not fall in love, the rule shared between Cupids.
He received a call to his lover to meet along the way for an afternoon lunch. Satoru excitedly responded, grinning and saying “See you love, I love you so much.”
“Me too, I love you Satoru.” The call dropped.
While walking along the cobbled streets, Satoru can’t helped but he feels that someone is watching him. He felt someone send a fellow Cupid to do the work.
Once reached in the pedestrian, his cerulean eyes immediately found his lover in the other side. His lover recognized him too, both lovingly smiled and wave at each other. The traffic lights went yellow. Until, a Cupid with sharp, onyx eyes appeared on the scene. His smile faltered.
Suguru, a Cupid known for his long, luscious raven hair, was called down to correct the responsibility of his fellow Cupid. There is a sweetness and bitterness that comes with his onyx eyes. As a usual Cupid he can able to make people fall in love. He can also make a fellow Cupid give a realization. The pain of being a Cupid. Unable to show love as ironically given the duty to make other people love. Many Cupids had been gone through his eyes and which is why he was gained a name “Cupid of Judgement”.
Satoru know that this time will come, still shocked, stunned once he saw Suguru just behind on his lover. His cerulean eyes meet the judgement stare of the onyx eyes. Sadness and hurt reflected on Satoru’s face as Suguru once shifted his gaze to his lover. Suguru made Satoru’s lover fall in love with another mortal.
The traffic lights went red, people started to cross. The once human who fall in love in a cupid-turned-to-mortal was no longer there. Their gaze no longer connected with Satoru’s and shifted to other person. They were unable to see Satoru once again as they crossed paths. He looked back as he witnessed the moment of the reality. Six Eyes reflected bitterness.
“So this is what humans called pain huh..” He felt broken-hearted.
Suguru disappeared after depriving Satoru of his love. Satoru realizes his fate of what he really was. He shed his last tears as a human and returns back to a Cupid once again.
#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader#satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#jjk#jjk gojo#satoru gojo#oneshot#angst#fluff#fanfic#newjeans#cool with you#cupid and psyche
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Answering this here because Tumblr cockblocks long comments
ok but no, i could go into a whole mini dissertation on how this ended up being a COMPLETE accident and i didn't realize just how significant her name was until now 🙀.
greek persephone is my fav mythical person not just because of her whimsical, loving, and free personality, but also because of how she handles the situation she's put in. this free-spirited butterfly is stolen away by the king of darkness but instead of becoming a damsel in distress, she toughens up and handles her business---this quote on quote ‘evil and all powerful king of the underworld'…whose not really what he’s been made out to be, much like reader in this story.
so now the question is, will Nurse!Reader fall for the mentally unstable villain like the original bearer of their name 🤔???
thank you @webshooterrr9 ! i love takes like this and when readers point things out that i may miss myself. please, keep them coming 🤭🤭🤭
and if you have no idea what we're talking about, what are you doing 🧍🏾♀️??? YOU'RE LATE!
Psych ward Patient Gojo has been waiting for you, Nurse, and he's absolutely furious 😡😡😡
#Satoru's Psyche#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#gojo x you#jjk fanfic#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk smut#jjk x y/n
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I’ve already joked about how funny I find it when anime shows you a haggard, exhausted old man and tells you he’s 23. The ‘Sensei should have been at the club’ phenomenon. But I’ve also found I can categorize these character archetypes thusly:
Sensei should have been:
I will not be taking questions at this time
#HERES MY CATEGORIES:#at the club: kyojuro rengoku. riza hawkeye#at the club/in federal prison: Gojo Satoru. Reigen Arataka#at the club/psych ward: Tengen Uzui#in federal prison: Roy Mustang#In the psych ward: geto Suguru#all fuckin three? KAKASHIIIIII#I do not accept criticism because everything I’ve ever said is true and beautiful#but genuinely it’s like. ok what would fix this person#the whimsy of youth? rigorous forced confrontation of their psychological problems? or just fucking being thrown in jail ?#the choice is YOURS#the choice is mine
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i couldn’t decide which one was saying this bc it could be either about either
#jujutsu kaisen#geto suguru#satosugu#gojo satoru#jjk#these fuckin dudes have a GRIP on my psyche#but fr
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"Geto is the only one who saw Gojo as human"
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. However, want to be reminded of something really fucking painful?
Geto did saw Gojo as a human/person.
BUT!
Geto also implied to Gojo that he is much better as a monster/weapon.
I mean... why else would this be such a traumatic experience for Satoru? This haunted him for the rest of his life.
Sure. Geto was the first to treat Gojo as a human/person. Yet, he still chose to hurt him deeply by asking him that awful question which reduced Gojo's identity into just his strength/power.
And that follow up! "If I could be you" may as well be "If I could be a powerful [monster] like you" (which Geto strove to be in JJK 0 by trying to kill Yuta and steal Rika). It's at this point that Geto stopped seeing Gojo as a person and started just seeing his power. He is no longer a friend that saw Gojo beyond his Six Eyes-Limitless CT. Geto became just like everybody else.
This is a betrayal tailor fit for Gojo Satoru and, imho, permanently crippled his ability to connect with anyone! It locked him into the untouchable and lonely existence as "The Strongest".
Don't believe me? Well... here's that infamous scene again in 261:
So, yeah. Geto had been kind to Gojo by making him feel like he is a human/person first. However, he had also been cruel to Gojo by making him question his humanity to the point that Gojo believed that being a weapon/monster is the only fate for him.
#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#jjk spoilers#look i love geto and stsg#but i'm not sugarcoating anything about them#the damage geto did to gojo's psyche is not something i will ever ignore or forget#because it's such good writing on how a beautiful relationship can end in tragedy#and how the person you love most can be the most cruel in hurting you#i've said it before and i'll say it again#i interpret geto's tears in chapter 236 as tears of regret#he finally understood the full extent of the pain and trauma he inflicted on gojo so he feels remorseful about it#satoru gojo#suguru geto
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Satoru's Psyche|Escalating
"Should I really have to suffer for my actions?"
Previous SessionSession 2 of 10|Next Session
🗂️Patient Chart Update: Patient Gojo displayed extremely flirtatious and unruly behavior during the first half of his visit. Mentions of escape and kid-napping were noted as well as enforced close proximity with his nurse. Threatening remarks were also made at the end of his lunch in response to mentions of disciplinary action. Patient is scheduled for a bath but is pending the possibility of negative punishment to instill corrective behaviors. 📋Length of Session (w.c): 8.3k out of "i said we will cross that bridge when we get to it 😊" 💊Intake Chart (tags): mild violence but no in-action descriptors, coercion, manipulation, drug use, angst, unwatched close contact and touch, nudity, mentally unstable Gojo, Nurse!Reader ✏️Doctor's angel’s note: i hope you know what you're doing, Nurse 🎼Waiting room music: Overheated|Billie Eilish
Choose wisely.
Hunger stirs in your tummy, and Gojo's words sit with you through lunch. Your spoon clinks around the bowl, stirring the soup growing colder by the second though the growls from your stomach are too obnoxious to be ignored. But your mind wanders.
You're stuck. Earlier, you were all for serving up justice on a silver platter, but now you're seriously second-guessing your "genius" idea to punish Gojo by making him someone else's problem.
As if anyone will be crazy enough to say yes.
Everyone already avoids his wing like the plague. It's kind of an unspoken fact that you are Gojo's one and only. The only staff he allows near him. Anyone else would be playing with fire.
And if someone is brave enough to willingly throw themselves into the lion's den, they definitely can't be new. New to nursing—new to the ward. High expertise is needed here. Someone seasoned—experience which you lack yourself—otherwise, they won't last a second with Gojo.
It'll be way too easy for him to make them snap, like tossing a bone to a dog.
"Persephone." Yuko brings you out of your coma.
You perk up, instinctively smiling. "Hey, what's up?"
"You tell me," she snorts. "You've been playing with your food like break isn't over in 10 minutes." She touches your arm. "Everything ok?"
It's written all over your face, huh? You could deflate right now.
This is why Yuko is your favorite co-worker. Always reading you like a book without you needing to say a word. Quick to call anything off out.
Leaning back in your chair, you huff, rubbing circles into your temples to relieve the headache you didn't know you had.
"Yeah, yeah," you begin, "It's just—" You stop, her eyes hold so much concern and you've barely opened your mouth. Not sure if you should now because you know what kind of person Yuko is.
And if she knew even half of what you don't tell her during your lunch breaks spent complaining about work, she'd hang Gojo out to dry if she could. She often makes it very clear she hates you have to deal with him at all.
"—I'm just a bit tired. Gojo's scheduled for a bath later, him and two others. Gojo's easy but...I don't know. I feel slower than usual today. Definitely won't get home until late, again, because of all these sponge baths." You cringe at the last part.
Aside from trying to keep Yuko cool, you also don't want to risk the news getting back to the Director who could take you off of Gojo completely. No one else can take your place. And who knows what would happen if you disappeared from his roster for good?
How would his threats manifest?
Yuko scoffs, waving her hand.
"Gojo and easy do not go together," and you both shake your heads and laugh. "But I get it. You did come in super early."
"Thought there'd be less of us," you sigh.
"Sonya's been on our asses lately, right? But hey, she finally got us all here."
"A little too late. The damage is done," you pout, resting your elbows on the table, realizing you've accidentally grown used to chaos and ever-changing schedule.
You routinely plan ahead to make sure you can stand up when people fall short. Constantly putting yourself on the back burner seems to be a thing that always set you back.
"Sooo, you just need rest, ya? Nothing else? Gojo—" there she goes "—been 'okay' with you lately?"
Your heart skips. "Ya. he isn't so bad today," you lie, "I'd just love to be home on time for once. Maybe even a bit early, I'm soo close. Overtime's been wringing my neck for weeks."
Yuko looks at you with puppy dog eyes. And not in a "I feel sorry for you" kind of way, but one that almost makes you feel bad for not telling her the whole truth.
"Here," she pushes your soup towards you, "How about I do Gojo's bath and you get an early start on my last two? That way you can at least binge that show you won't shut up about later." She smiles.
You immediately protest.
There's no way you can do that to her.
Yuko never even crossed your mind and was far from your first pick, not because she can't handle him but because she's your friend. Not just a colleague, but someone you actually care about more than anyone else in this run-down job even if she doesn't feel the same.
She's too good of a person, and you'd be the Devil Incarnate if you let her do something so risky. Especially when you can just suck it up and get it over with.
"Woah, woah, it's just a bath, calm down," she says, taking your hands in hers as you ramble on, trying to convince her that you'll be fine or that you'll find someone else. Burdening her is simply out of the question.
"Who else but me, Seph'?" and she tilts her head, "You don't you think I'm as good as you?" And the way she says it, giving you that look she does when you're being stubborn, dares you to challenge her.
Now you really have to think about what to say.
Goddamn it, you regret saying anything at all, but Yuko's so motherly, how could you resist? Hiding from her is impossible, she would've sniffed you out sooner or later.
Easing your pains when she can is her specialty—helping to calm and settle you down when you blow things out of proportion.
Could this be one of those moments? Or are Gojo's words more than just hot air?
The back and forth is killing you, but the combination of Yuko's reassuring touch and your gurgling stomach puts the final nail in the coffin as she reminds you of the time.
Eyes wide, you look at the clock, ticking away faster than you realized, then back at your lukewarm soup.
Denying that you need help would be silly because technically it's true. You probably should've asked the Director for a little Gojo break forever ago, even if just for a few hours a few times a week. It would be better than nothing because if you can't function, Gojo can't be cared for.
So, who better to help bridge that gap for you than Yuko?
The gutsy woman has been your rock ever since you started at the ward, having your back and sticking with you through tough times when staff constantly dips in and out of the facility like a rotating door, unable to handle the job.
Yuko's a real day one, and next to you, she's the most competent nurse in these walls, fully equipped with a "take-no-shit" attitude that routinely keeps her patients in check.
When you really think about it, it'd be silly, downright irresponsible to trust anyone else.
Her offer is simply too good to dismiss.
"Thank you, Yuko," you cave, grabbing your spoon and finally allowing yourself to enjoy your meal. "You're...amazing. I don't deserve you."
She looks on happily. "Just promise me you'll take some personal time after this," she insists, worry evident in her voice. "We both know how much you care, but even superheroes need rest." She's too kind and right in more ways than one. "Besides, I think Gojo will like me, ya? I'm cool. I'm fun. He'll like a friend of friend?"
You roll your eyes—ya, totally, cool people definitely say they're cool.
Not knowing whether to joke back or wave her off, you softly smile at her concern before nodding, vowing to make good on your promise and feel a bit lighter knowing your wish for early release will actually come true.
Maybe.
The latest threat to your miracle in the making is Mr. Hampton, who is personally making it his business to drag the already long day by its edges, almost bringing time to a standstill with the way he's handling his bath.
Enormous and lumbering, the man Yuko usually deals with took his sweet time gathering his things and even longer trekking down the seemingly endless halls leading to the bathing area. Occupying every inch of the space like those massive trucks that hog the interstate, yet inching along at a pace that makes a snail look like it's in a sprint.
All that was missing were the yellow hazard lights.
Oh no, please, take your time, you think, watching Mr. Hampton clean each limb painstakingly s l o w in a tub that's comically too small for him. You may have been able to rush through Yuko's first patient, but this one wanted all that time back.
His pace resembles a giant's, and his cheery, nonsensical hums echo around the hollow chambers and lull you to sleep, turning your eyes into bricks under the spell of his melody. Perfect timing for the energy drinks from early to crash you out, tag teaming with the chair beneath you that feels a bit too soft as you lean over the tub, willing the colossal man to hurry up.
Warm water flows over your skin as you scrub circles on his neck, deciding to bite the bullet and take over the bath so he can play with the bubbles and get out when you hear a blood-curdling scream.
Your entire body goes rigid, shock reverberating through your spine and forcing you to halt as your mind goes blank. But steamy water brings you back to life, drenching your shirt and upper thighs when Mr. Hampton jumps from the noise.
The rude awakening makes you lock in.
The scream. It sounds like...no, you know it came from the west wing...where Gojo is.
And Yuko.
Hurried steps rush past your door, sounds of multidirectional distress and frantic shouts echoing through the corridor—staff members and patients alike sweep into a whirlwind of panic.
You're number one, dropping the scrubber and scrambling to help Mr. Hampton out of the tub, hands shaking as he grips them.
A security guard bursts into the room, face ashen and jaw tight.
"Nurse! We need everyone in the west wing, immediately!" The command is sharp, laced with an urgency you've never seen before.
And immediately feel responsible for.
"There's been an incident."
Without another thought, you wrap Mr. Hampton in a towel, trying your best to assure him that everything is fine when your obviously trembling body says nothing is. His confused gaze follows you as you lead him back to his room, the commotion in the air moving him a lot faster than earlier before you rush back out and head straight for the west wing—where chaos reigns supreme.
The usually pristine floors, normally squeaky clean due to lack of traffic, are now barely visible. Staff members crowd the familiar hall for the first time since Gojo made it his own, filling the space with more bodies than you're used to and making it difficult to find the source of trouble.
Not like you need to. The truth is painfully clear, and it's disrespectful to even pretend you don't know exactly what went wrong.
You push through the masses, clumsily bumping shoulders, your heart beating into your ears and making the world seem quiet as you inch closer and closer to disaster. Dragging imaginary shackles on your feet until you all but collapse once you spot it.
Gojo—barely restrained by guards, straitjacket nowhere in sight—standing absolutely furious.
And for the first time today, time seems to slow down, your mouth suddenly becoming dry when you look past him.
Yuko.
Halfway out the door to his room. Sprawled out on the ground. Bruised, unconscious, and no signs of breathing.
Your hands fly to your lips, mouth agape. Murmurs from the crowd swirl around you before attendants rush to Yuko's side, knocking into your pathetic frame as you stand too frozen to move.
They gently pick her up, careful to handle her motionless body and place her on a stretcher. Her usually vibrant face is drained of color, twisting the dagger in your chest when you spot the subtle rise and fall of her chest. Fighting for breath.
Fighting.
It hits you like a train.
Someone as kind as her, always greeting you with warmth and empathy and capacity every time she sees you, should never have to lift a finger let alone fight for her life. The sight is too much to bear.
Waves of helplessness crash over you and you can't even look at her. Regretting with every ounce of your being that you sent her in your place. Knowing this could happen. Concerned only with your silly wants and needs.
But you're so confused.
The ward should have weakened Gojo—Yuko should have been fine. The only threat Gojo has up his sleeve is mental torture but Yuko might as well be Freud. Her mind is sound, strong.
And that's where you fucked up, forgetting that Gojo's pure strength, especially when he's lost his fucking mind and triggered, is stronger.
Even with his security system in place, the devil is still powerful enough on his own. And like this was some sick and twisted experiment to help you figure that out, Yuko was the one to pay the price.
"I warned, I WARNED YOU!" Gojo's words pierce the overlapping voices like a sword, breaking your shock and drawing everyone's attention to the strange interaction between the two of you. "I don't like to be touched by strangers, Nurse." Guards struggle to restrain him as he pulls away.
All eyes fall on you and the stares are intense. Confusion and judgment.
Why was Yuko here in the first place?Where was Seph’?How’d he get out?How did this happen?
Whether the murmurs are real or in your head, the effect is all the same, and you wish you could just completely vanish. Standing like a deer in headlights—and they're so fucking bright.
But Gojo is brimming with malice and amusement, chaotic energy pulsing from the hellish man and threatening to send sparks flying. Daring someone to be brave and push the button.
But despite his outward display of dominance, the pure rage on his face that makes you feel sick to your stomach about every decision you've ever made, there's something...uncertain lurking behind those fiery eyes.
Something like...apprehension.
Like he knows he's done something wrong.
Yet, words escape you, as if anything needs to or even could be said. But soon, fear and guilt turn to anger, threatening to consume you. Ready to eat you alive and spit out the bones with disgust because you are not a victim.
You have no right to stand here, spineless, shocked, or feeling even a little sorry for yourself. Holding back tears because you know what you've done.
Your fists clench, unsure how to deal with it, but there's fire in your eyes because someone needs to pay.
But then you exhale, thoughts shifting to Yuko as you take a good look around at what happened the last time you decided to take things into your own hands. All of your actions, even now, are rooted in selfishness. Like you've learned nothing.
Pushing down the knot growing in your stomach, you turn away to follow the medics, deciding your friend needs you more than you need revenge. Gojo doesn't deserve any more of your attention, even if it means risking your job or life to turn your back on him.
And there's nothing Gojo hates more than being ignored.
Struggled and strained noises grow louder. Guards tighten their grip on the fuming man whose raw strength outnumbers thousands of them even without his cursed energy.
You look back, their determination to keep him contained making you nervous. You don't anyone else to get hurt and Gojo is fully exploiting that.
You're painfully aware that your decisions have put you in this position, watching the guards' valiant but increasingly pointless effort to prevent Gojo from causing further harm. But it's obviously a losing fight, and the unease on their faces is unmistakably clear.
You wonder why they don't just run like hell.
"Let's go," a guard barks, but Gojo remains fixed in place. Moving a boulder would be easier.
"No, I'm filthy," Gojo protests, smirking, "And if I don't have my bath soon, there will be hell to pay."
Seeing no one else in the room, his eyes are locked only on you, his expression a menacing promise that would send anyone else running for the hills. A look that says, "Try that shit again, and there will be casualties instead of mercy."
Reinforcements are called but it won't be enough. The goddamn military wouldn't be enough. Gojo is...the strongest, after all.
"Stop."
Your cry freezes the room. Everything goes silent.
You hesitate, fuck, what should you do?
What can you do? No one else can suffer—no one else should suffer. Because of you.
Taking a deep, shaky breath, you silently apologize to Yuko, swallowing a lump instead of looking back.
"I'll do it," you say firmly, "Just stop this and...and I'll give you your bath. Please—" The sharpest pang you've ever felt cuts through you. "—just don't hurt anyone else."
Pathetic. But necessary.
He looks into your pleading eyes with surprise, amazement even, before smiling.
The submission in your voice sounds better than anything he could ever imagine. A sweet tones that feed his already inflated ego.
Unsure of how to proceed, the guards exchange uneasy glances.
Gojo's strength is undeniable, that much is evident, and restraining him forever is simply not possible.
You know offering to give him what he wants is risky as hell...but this is your doing. Your mess to clean up.
So you squeeze your sweaty palms and give a decisive nod, signaling at the guards to let him go. They hesitate a second, then reluctantly agree, stepping back and leaving Gojo standing smugly before you.
Closing your eyes, you breathe, hating to have to look at him, but needing to stay strong. For Yuko. For yourself. And everyone else in the ward.
But Gojo's satisfied grin says it all. He's won this round.
You're ready to get the next over with.
The squeaking of your shoes has never been this loud, each echo bouncing off the empty halls and reminding you of how alone you are.
Alone—with a psychopath.
A bit more docile, doped-up psychopath but, the man could probably still rip someone's head clean off if he wanted to.
Still, Gojo despises anything that alters his body���mentally, physically, all of the above. Alcohol, medication, coffee, energy drinks—anything that threatens his need for absolute control.
But he also needed to compromise, and you refused to be alone with him again unless he took something stronger. Otherwise, it would be you, all the guards in the ward, and a pay-per-view premiere of his bath time.
He knew he had to agree because his ass is not for free, but only if you took it as well.
You blinked, hard.
You knew he would be skeptical—hell, it could be poison, and he wouldn’t blame you. But to suggest something so ridiculous?
"Half, then," he said, as if that made his suggestion any less idiotic, but, as you waited for your supervisor to dismiss the insane idea, the back and forth with Gojo actually didn't save you. And you didn't need to ask why. The entire ward shoots daggers at you any time someone walks by now.
Your supervisor reassured you that you'd be fine, the mild tranquilizer would be out of your system by the end of the day, then she patted your back as if to say, "Lay in the bed you made."
It felt unreal, holding the familiar pill between your fingers, one you were used to dishing out but now had to take.
With a quick snap, you broke it in half, holding his half out to the leering man. Gaze unwavering as he leaned forward and parted his lips, waiting. Taking a deep breath, you placed them both on your tongues, in disbelief at your reality, but Gojo's focus was elsewhere, not wasting this prime opportunity to rattle you more and taste you, closing his lips around your fingertip with a quick lick before you snatched away.
But it wasn’t quick enough to avoid the tingles shooting up your arm as you swallowed, no longer needing the water you had set aside, and a confusing mix of emotions churned as the tingles spread throughout your body.
Making good on his promise, he swallowed his own, still watching you with a knowing glint in his eyes. Like he knows what he does to you. And despite just witnessing this man's violence firsthand, you'd give anything to deny that he still has an effect on you. Hating yourself for being more concerned with the way he looked at you and the lingering sensation on your skin than the tranquilizer now coursing through your system.
The guards carefully lead you and Gojo to his private bathroom—they're more there for show than for protection, but you'll take what you can get, and they keep a firm grip on his replacement straitjacket.
You trail behind, mind buried with thoughts of what to say once you're really alone with him.
The door shuts behind you, followed by the familiar sound of a series of locks clicking shut. "We'll be right outside," one of the guards mutters, eyes shifting between you and Gojo, a stereotypical warning lacing his voice, but even he probably doesn't believe it.
"Perv," Gojo sneers and laughs, but you don't find a damn thing funny, the keys to his jacket digging into your palms as you spin around and face him, furious. What would be better? Slapping him, kicking him, or knocking his teeth out. Or should you be particularly evil and just let him sit in the shower, fully restrained and drenched in cold water and you let it rain down. None of the above will do you any good, but it'll show him exactly how done you are with his shit.
"That isn't funny. None of this is funny," it fumes out before you know you're speaking, "You've hurt someone—you hurt my friend." Your rage echos through the vast bathroom.
Gojo's laugh fades, his smug expression slipping from his face. Even you're surprised.
...oh shit.
You're actually confronting him.
The intense words burn through his usual arrogance, leaving a heavy, uncomfortable silence between you.
Then, for a fleeting second, his face does something weird.
Something you haven't seen before as his eyebrows draw together. Is that...regret?
"I'm sorry."
The record scratches. You’re fully positive you must be dreaming.
But when he doesn’t make a joke or even crack a smile, you squint at him.
The words are muttered and reluctant, but there they are, hanging in the air between you.
"It...won't happen again."
And he's serious, the same seriousness you see when his heart races as you take his vitals...but why? Because an apology? From him?? Unheard of.
Gojo has said some nasty things to you in the past that you've immediately scolded him for, but he's never apologized. He'd make a note when certain jokes didn't land, but he never took them back, preferring to cut out his own tongue than to waste his breath being sorry.
You know better than to take anything Gojo says at face value, but...what the fuck??? You almost feel offended.
He has to be joking, fucking with you to dig even deeper under your skin.
Or is he?
Fuck, you don't know how to feel.
He's so good at that, stealing the air back and hanging his words in them. Tempting you to pause and even consider if he ever truly means them. If he could mean them. The mind games are endless.
But then, the familiar cockiness returns and overshadows your doubts, twisting your stomach into knots with that familiar smile of his.
"Now," he says, strutting towards the stalls, "let's get this bath started, shall we?" And his easy, but confident steps call you to follow, a stark reminder of who you're dealing with. But he never knows when to quit. "Or should I really have to suffer for my actions?" and the bastard pouts.
Though you know he's being sarcastic and not to feed into his taunts, you can't help but wonder—what would suffering even look like for someone like Gojo?
Violence? Physical pain? A slow and agonizingly painful death?
But the guy is damn near invincible. What on earth could hurt him?
Whatever it is, it would have to be his absolute worst nightmare, but nothing comes to mind at the moment other than frustration because you have to keep making choices.
Return his energy or keep it professional? Tolerance or revenge?
"Apologizing won't cut it," you snap and gesture at his jacket, wondering how the hell he slipped out of the first one without leaving a trace. "And no tricks, or those guards will be back in here faster than you can tell another lame joke."
Smooth.
Gojo sighs sooo dramatically, like he can see straight through your kitty claws. "Fine, fine. Loosen up," he drags, "I won't cause any trouble. Just don't go getting any ideas now, Nurse." and he winks.
He's insufferable—but despite your smoldering anger, tendrils of doubt still creep in.
Your fingers slightly tremble as you begin to unfasten his straps, but each click feels a bit like victory, a fragile illusion of your 'control'—at least for now—because at the end of the day, Gojo had chosen you to listen to. And after today, he's sure you won't forget there isn't room for anyone else.
The jacket falls with a heavy thud, your eyes immediately scanning his upper body in search of any signs of injury or stress. The cascading bruises on his arms surprise you.
They feel so feeble in your hands; the evidence of him not as invincible as he seems is jarring. Pale, weak, and resting between your fingers. Devoid of the power that makes him so feared.
"Never seen bruises before," he tilts his head, "at least not on me"
You hope Yuko was at least partly responsible for the marks on the villain, but they appear self-inflicted, and he's not as mobile.
Fuck, now you'll have to bathe him too. Still, it's strange, seeing him like this. Even weirder knowing that he could still do damage in this state and you can't shake the feeling of this temporary 'truce'. If it isn't obvious by now, you've learned that Gojo always has something up his sleeve.
Warm water soothes you a bit, flowing over your fingers as it fills the large white tub—pristine, imported from somewhere far away, and standing on decorative claw feet. Your eyes wouldn't stop rolling the first time you saw it, completely annoyed with Gojo's over-the-top alterations and sense of style, but you'd be a liar if you said you never thought about sinking your body into it.
The best you could do was cope with the little porcelain tub in your apartment, and you get lost thinking about how you'd love to take a long, hot, and steamy bath when you get home—if you'll even have the energy. There's no way you'll be leaving early now, not like you deserve it, and you feel sick for even thinking about it. You doubt you'll even have a job tomorrow.
You look so defeated Gojo thinks, sauntering forward and lifting the hem of his shirt. You turn away, focusing instead on the temperature of the water, but the rustling sound of his shirt being pulled overhead and pants falling to the ground warms your cheeks.
His physique certainly isn't lacking, even in his current state, but still, you wonder how such a slim but toned frame could be so...powerful.
Could you be more obvious? Your flickering eyes are so telling, shamefully darting between him and the water, but he catches your gaze from the corner of his eye as if he's read your mind. How cute, he thinks, trying to hide away your thoughts.
Clearing your throat, you toss in his loofah. "Well...go on. It's ready." But Gojo only grins, amused by your attempts to look away despite seeing his muscled frame a number of times. Relishing in the fact that he still manages to fluster you.
"Your shirt," he eyes your top, "Your pants. Looks like you've already started without me."
The water stains from earlier sit beautifully across your chest, not yet fully dry, and drawing his eyes to your semi-erect nips.
His teeth tug at his bottom lip, eyes shamelessly raking over your hefty chest. "Always such a tease, aren't you, Nurse?"
You grit your teeth, cursing the conflict swirling in your stuttering heart, fully aware of the thin line between professionalism and this game of intimacy he refuses to stop playing. Everything is always a game no matter the circumstances. And he loves to push your buttons.
"Just get in, Gojo," you order, and after what feels like an eternity, the silence is broken by the sound of splashing water as he steps into the bath.
He slowly sinks in, sighing at the warmth of the water. Ringlets of steam engulf him, almost making his silky white hair disappear with it.
His arms string over the rim of the tub, a look of relaxation resting on his face as if he's had a long, hard day. You resist the urge to slap it off.
Sudsy bubbles form from the solution you pour under the faucet, hoping to shield your eyes from his body. You've seen enough today and expect the mini-rebellious act to piss him off, but as the bubbles grow, so do his eyes. Picking up a handful, he actually starts playing with them.
"Nice touch," he adds, blowing them right into your face, and you watch with a tight lip as he decorates the bathroom with them, knowing you'll be the one to clean it all up.
He sits a crown on his head and gives himself a bubble beard, nipping your nose with some that you're quick to wipe away, and his pale eyes flutter and settle on you in a curious way.
His arms flex as he leans over the edge—steam-slicked sweat dripping down his face that he doesn't bother to wipe away. "I'm ready for my sponge bath," he says, and if it was hard to take him seriously before, it's damn near impossible now—especially with that ridiculous bubble mustache.
Sickening, him still being so playful, so unserious, at a time like this.
You know Gojo's unhinged, yeah, quote, "mentally unwell and a literal danger to society", but to nearly take someone's life and then make jokes afterward?
God, you feel so stupid, walking around him like you were the shit but with the wrong guard up the whole time, playing right into his hands and accidentally rewarding this grown-ass man who likes to play with suds.
The reality of your circumstances replays in your head, the story of how you ended up here, coddling this monster, and you're still confused as hell as to why it had to be you.
Then again, this is what you signed up for...right? To heal. To help those who can't help themselves. To offer redemption some sort of redemption no matter how sick and twisted the person in need is.
With your loofah in hand, you resist the urge to roll your eyes for the 400th time today and keep your morals in mind. "Keep talking like that and I'll stop, Gojo," you say, reluctantly drenching the tool in soap before proceeding to do your job.
Gently washing his back, he sinks into your touch, closing his eyes and letting his body completely rest on the cool cast iron, breathing. Feeling like he's won no matter what you say because your scrubs feel like magic.
Across his arms and over his broad shoulders, you work your way down, bubbles glistening in your trail as you're careful not to miss a single inch of skin but don't linger too long.
Every now and then, you catch glimpses of raised marks between the foam, and because you hate yourself, your brain absolutely refuses to give you a break. You have to give kudos to his dedication to his craft. The muscle definition, the scar tissue telling stories of battles won, the evidence of his past before corruption—everything it takes to be a hero.
It's unsettling, yet fascinating, the polarity between his beauty and his monstrous deeds.
You've never really noticed because this level of care is another first for you. Usually, Gojo just hops into the shower and takes care of himself while you wait outside—easy and thorough but always taking his sweet time, all while loudly singing some annoying song that inevitably ends up stuck in your head.
But after today, it'll be impossible to trust him or you again, and the hushed whispers as the guards walked you both to the restrooms made that abundantly clear.
The pitiful thoughts seep into the way you hesitantly clean him, moving down to his chest and abs while making sure to avoid more sensitive areas, but the malicious glint in his eyes is unmistakable.
"Whatsamatter, Nurse?" Gojo taunts, feeling you slow around his stomach, "Afraid of gettin' too close?" And you can't believe you're praying for a speedy recovery for this monster so he can handle this himself again.
You ignore his comment and try to get this over with as quickly as possible, feeling humiliated enough as it is and he can sense it, mocking you with a laugh.
"You're so uptight. Can't you just relax and enjoy the view?"
God, please make him shut up, begging for relief so you won't scrub his cocky brow right off his face. "Just doing my job," you mutter, twice squeezing the loofah that feels a little funny in your hand as the soapy water rinses his chest.
It feels heavenly on his skin, but the subtle change in your movements makes his brows furrow. Slowing, more deliberate, heavy as if you're wading through molasses. You keep adjusting your grip but the material feels so strange—the texture almost too soft like it could melt into your palm.
Your breath catches when you brush his skin, not realizing how close your fingers drifted to the edge of the sponge, and though it was only a second, it sends an unexpected jolt through his chest.
The muscle relaxers. How could you have already forgotten, you both think.
But Gojo, ever observant, doesn't miss a thing.
His eyes narrow slightly as he watches you. "Feeling a little funny, Nurse?" His velvet voice teases.
"I'm fine," you lie, though you couldn't be less certain as the muscles in your hands start to relax more than you intended, the sponge gliding over his abs, and down his sides, the rhythm almost hypnotic and making his head fall back. You try to push through the haze, to finish quickly and be free of him, but you're losing the battle against numbness and heightened awareness.
And fuck, he has to bite his lip at your touch that suddenly feels so intense, a sensation too good to keep to himself, and one that you obviously need to stop being such a tight-ass.
You need to loosen up in a way that medicine can't help. And Gojo knows just the trick.
He licks his lips, tongue curling over his canine before splashing a wave of water on you in one swoop.
Saying you gasp is an understatement as the steamy wash drenches your face and front once again, setting a new record as you're hit not once, but twice in a day. The loofah slips from your hand as you instinctively reach up to shield yourself, but Gojo is quicker, wrapping his hands around your wrists and holding you in place.
A scream is ready to surge from your body when Gojo maneuvers both of your wrists into one hand, placing a finger to your lips.
"Ssssh ssh ssh ssh ssh," he hushes, his voice a little too calm, "I'm not going to hurt you." A lone droplet hangs from your eyelash and he swipes it. "I just want you to listen."
You freeze, your nerves on fire as you're forced into close proximity with him for the second time today, inches away from his face that gradually softens.
Though you can easily call for help, you know better than to argue—he knows you know better too but he never felt threatened in the first place. Besides, he can feel your breathing slowing, the effects of the pill combined with his firm hold sending a faint buzz from your wrists to your stomach, and his finger remains on your lips as he brings his closer.
His eyes flicker to your bottom lip. "You're so good at your job, Nurse," smoothly pulling it with his thumb. "That's why I like you. You're thorough but real. Just what I need to keep me sane."
Sane?
"Sane," he repeats like he's heard your thoughts. "Believe it or not, you keep me grounded...like a good boy. Be proud, not a single soul here or anywhere else can compare to me, let alone deal with me, and yet...here you are." He looks at you like you're a marvel. "You can handle that...can't you?"
Words fail you. This feels rhetorical. Why does he keep torturing you like this? What is it about you?
You haven't really thought about it since your first few weeks with him but now he's forcing you to think about the little 'power' he's given you that he can easily snatch back.
What happens if he decides to go further than flirting?
You can't handle it, any of this.
Hesitating, you're unsure of what to say but know it could never be the truth.
Gojo must sense it because he leans closer, his breath warm on your cheek.
"If you leave, I just might crack completely, beauty." A breath you didn't realize you were holding slips. "How do you think everyone else will do against me then, hmm?" Gojo knows he's a prodigy, but still manages to surprise himself sometimes, his eyes lingering over the spots on your uniform soaked through just enough to make the fabric cling—perfect aim.
Ice shoots up your spine from the heat of his unadulterated gaze, but you refuse to let him see you falter, and he can almost feel a prick from the daggers in your eyes.
"Oh, don't be like that," he purrs, thumbs grazing your wrists in a mockingly gentle touch. "We all have our boundaries, right? I thought communication was key in a relationship."
"Let go of me," you find your voice, "We're done here."
His head slightly tilts.
Look at you calling the shots, he thinks. So strong, so very serious.
"God, I can't help it," he breathes, "You're so fun to mess with."
He could laugh in your face, have his way with you, and show you that your resistance means nothing, but instead, he slowly releases your wrists and lies back against the tub. "I know you think about it—there's nothing wrong with a little fun...right?" and though the connection is severed, you don't know if it's the drugs or just him that makes his amplified touch linger as you sheepishly rub your wrists.
Gojo watches you blush red—thoughts you didn't know lived within you rushing to the forefront as if he's pushed a button.
Grimy, raw, unwanted thoughts of forbidden fruit, wandering hands, and stolen touches in the dark, wondering what his idea of "fun" is like under the sheets. With a psycho named Gojo.
You feel like you should throw up in disgust but the nausea never comes, burning hot between your legs instead.
Fuck, you have to get out of here.
You draw a breath, forcing away the torturous daydreams and quickly finish his bath.
"You should rest," you firmly say and pull the plug to let the tub drain. "And don't expect any more favors from me."
He sits up slow, his expression stone-cold as he slicks back his wet hair. Then he smiles. "I promise. Now dry me off?" he quips.
You ignore his request, swiftly handing him a towel before he can flash you. With a gruff, you lower to your knees, beginning to dry the floor of his messes and hoping to distract yourself from your questionable sanity.
The sounds of rustling fabric fill the chamber as he dries off, and once you figure it's safe, you look up to find a nude Gojo. Dripping with bubbles, hair plastered to his derpy face, and toned muscles, all the muscles, presenting themselves in all their glory.
The only things dry are his damn hands.
He throws the towel over his shoulder, sauntering towards you with a wicked grin.
"Well, aren't you gonna help me put this thing back on?" He nods at the jacket he knows is more bullshit than security. "Don't want you getting all worked up again."
The first time your brain registered that Gojo was flirting with you was on your third day as his nurse.
"Well, aren't you a breath of fresh air?" Gojo was sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall. It was the second time he'd noticed how sluggish you looked while tending to him, suggesting with a grin that you must be quite the party animal.
Ha. If only.
You tsked, tossing his bedsheets into the hamper, and assured him that your sleepy eyes and dragging feet were the result of long hours and running on fumes. Having time for fun was just a dream.
"I don't get out much myself," he says, alluding to the situation he's in, wearing sarcasm like a necklace. "I love a good night in as much as anyone else but, I don't know. The stuffiness hasn't grown on me yet."
You tugged the collar of your scrubs—the air did feel a bit thick, like the room hadn't been aired out in ages and you couldn't help but wonder how long he'd been sitting in it—how he could. That alone would be enough to drive you up a wall.
Sunlight flickered in your eyes, and you raised your hand to block it, noticing the small window perched above his chair.
"Let's open this then," you said, walking over and wrestling with the ancient wood for a moment before finally pulling the creaky flap up to the ceiling.
A sliver of your midriff peeked out as you stood on your toes to reach it, but what captured Gojo's attention most was the way the sun rays washed over your face. You scrunched your nose, the breeze sending wisps of your hair to tickle it, and he imagined the feel of your strands between his fingers.
The view was beautiful, you thought, hands gripping the warm bars. Trees surrounded the vast area, stretching out as far as you could see, the pathway to civilization completely covered in dense forest from this angle.
You never realized how high up his ward was—or how long the drop was from here.
"Too bad I'm not small enough to slip through those bars." He rubbed his stomach. "But you know me, 'Mr. BigBack.'"
He joked around as he usually did, looking to trigger your defenses, but your reaction was...odd.
Not only was this the first time anyone cared to do something so simple for Gojo, but it was also the closest anyone had gotten to him without their knees buckling.
The first two days of your trial, the Director had guards posted right outside of Gojo's door, their presence a constant reminder to stay alert and maintain a safe distance from the convict. Gojo was positive the mental barrier would keep a wall between you forever.
But then, you laughed. A real laugh. Snickery and cute. Finding his joke funny instead of threatening.
It surprised him, that sound, so natural and pure without hesitation. And he wanted to hear it again and again and again. "Who knew you could bring so much light into this place?" he sighed.
Later at lunch, you sat with Yuko, having your usual midday catch-up. You never start with yours but she, like most people in the ward then, was absolutely dying to hear about how you were dealing with the villain of the century.
"He's actually not so bad...yet. Corny, but," you took a pondering breath, "He kind of thanked me today?"
She immediately scoffed and waved you off, and who could blame her?
You were an anomaly, Gojo already showed that he was capable of mercy and now he was thanking you??
Being polite was too far of a stretch to believe, you must have been mistaken. But when you gave her the deets on why he'd do such a thing, she nearly choked on her apple. "He said that??"
"Ya?" You patted her back with a concerned look.
"Watch out, Casanova," she teased, clearing her throat with a nervous laugh.
Her comment threw you off for the rest of lunch, but when you thought about it later that night while surfing for new shows, a light bulb went off.
He flirted with you.
Thinking it was just another one of those literal dry-humor jokes or simply gratitude for making his stay a little less crappy, it flew right over your head. You always feel warm inside when you help people so you didn't think too much about it.
To you, it was just a kudos. Nothing more.
But the way Gojo stands in front of you now is everything.
As bold and brash as it gets.
Fuck. Me.
And your body betrays you, sending all of the vulnerable sensations you've been fighting to suppress from your soaking chest, tingling wrists, aching thighs, and heavy breath, straight to your throbbing clit.
Air escapes you and you couldn't feel more conflicted, scrambling to grab your supplies and leave.
Enough is enough. The guards outside can restrain him and escort him back to his room for all you care. You just have to get out of there.
Away from him.
Away from temptation.
Hot, overwhelming, guilty, mentally and physically unstable temptation.
In the quiet of the hallway a level below Gojo's ward, you lean against a wall, taking deep breaths and completely disgusted with yourself.
How are you supposed to keep dealing with this, with him?
This force that keeps pushing and pushing and pushing you to the edge until there's nowhere else to go. You can only imagine the hell the nurses he didn't like went through.
Taking care of him isn't getting any easier, and now you were fucking up and making mistakes.
But you're the only one who can do this. Who must.
So suck it up. Play along, Stop thinking only of yourself. Pretend.
Pretend.
Pretend?
...
What terrifies you the most is the thought that you may not have to.
You keep your scrambled thoughts to yourself when you're called into your Director's office at the end of the day.
You tell him the same story you told Yuko and take full responsibility for what happened, blaming it on exhaustion and needing a break. Swearing to never let it happen again.
By some miracle, you get to keep your job, though your one wish to leave early ended up costing you an hour and a half of unpaid overtime, and almost a friendship.
When you finally get home, you collapse onto your bed—images of the day, the ward, and Yuko flooding your thoughts, refusing to be pushed aside. You tell yourself that it's just the guilt talking, just anxiety gnawing at your edges.
But then there's Gojo.
The most prominent one of all.
Staring you in the face with lifeless eyes and a ghostly smile. Tugging on your moral strings like a puppet.
When you close your eyes, you can't shake the feeling that he's waiting for you, a lurker in the shadows watching and anticipating your every move. Have you become predictable? Now you're wondering if you could do something he wouldn't expect.
Leave it. Leave it. Le—
You're scrolling through your phone on a deep-diving, scouring the web for any info on your tormentor.
His past, his affiliations, anything to tell you who Gojo was, and who he is now.
But the man is an anomaly.
Not much is known about him outside of mainstream news and internet rumors.
He's just this guy that kind of popped out of nowhere in the worst way possible, conveniently on the tail of what could have been the most devastating incident in the history of Tokyo.
The media says he's a hero gone rogue but not much else. They've damned him to hell and that was that. Even the Director disclosed very little about him during your briefing and you weren't allowed access to his files or records because it's all 'confidential'.
Nothing.
The more you search, you less that comes up. Not even silly conspiracy theories that you definitely thought would be riddling Reddit. The longer you scroll, the more you find yourself beginning to question your own mind. Your interest. Sweet little buds of obsession.
Even though you hated taking it earlier, you actually need the pill now more than ever to relax as sleep eludes you and your mind wanders to imaginary scenarios as you stare at the ceiling.
Tomorrow, you'll have to face Gojo again. And the day after that and the day after that and every day after.
In between your nearly non-existent off days, you'll have to see him and decide what face you want to put on.
Because you simply cannot walk away.
After all, he's right—no one else can handle him like you can.
extended angel's note:
when i originally decided to make this into short story, i had no plans on using a y/n perspective. it was just going to feature an OC name i’ve used in stories before, named Persephone, buuuut i decided to wanted to keep it immersive and include no physical descriptors/personality specifics bc i knew i wanted to upload it to tumblr.
to keep it reader-friendly, yk?
alas, Persephone has had her claws in me the entire time i’ve been editing and said with her whole chest that i couldn't just dismiss her like that chile. so i decided changed the perspective but keep her name in place of y/n.
you won’t see it too often in the story bc it’s not super significant or said a lot in general, bUT it is relevant for a certain moment later in the story. you’ll know when you know 🤭.
anyway, hope it doesn't bother you guys too much. and def feel free to mentally plug your name when you see it to keep yourself grounded into the story.
tag list p.1: @reddiamondjazz @kiwismoother @rune1920 @blkkizzat @suguwife
@xerroe @enthyn @gloomuri671 @ressyshi @startatdawn
@khenanadeche @heijihatsutori @inluvkai @ixqiix @strawnanamilk
@rosso-seta @05-simply-06-simping @sims-4lifers @bratidol @rh-tg1
@hyunsuks-beanie @n1vi @luna-v-roiya @neteyamsluvr111 @supsiii
@natadecoco30 @chiyokoemilia @ririoutspoken @kyoxko @strawberrymilkshakes-posts
@nen-nyy @cinnamorochiroll @kazeniya @maybe7tommorow @sxnkuna
@misoyuh @lupitalove @sebastianlover @gojosatorubrainrot @sleepiebunniee
@mmmidkman @theonecrackhead @thathorsegotpoobrain @iveivory @samistar
@yuuan-66 @gojoslefttoenail @soyalovestoyap @winkwonks-world @thebiggestsimpforyou
#bluuharem#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk imagines#jjk x y/n#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojou satoru x reader#jjk smut#gojo smut#jjk gojo#satoru x reader#satoru x you#satoru x y/n#Satoru Psyche
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All three of my faves in the same place 😃 it's the end for me😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
#TOGAMENFJSKJFJSOIGKCKO????????????#HES BACK MG GOAT IS BAKCNGJDKFJFJISS#AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA#Endo smexy as always#BUT OFMGJIDJRJWISKDKDKLDLSLA#Suo😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#JFJFKSKROROLELELELEPWPA SOMEONE HLEPM E#I should be kept in a psych ward#krn bs ╰(‵□′)╯#TOGAME????????????¿??????_?_)$)29#nii satoru never letting me starve fr...
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I think it be real cool if yuta and the gang went through all this effort to try and stop sukuna to the point that they "must become monsters" literally stealing his body. for it to fail because no one could actually be satoru gojo.
Like cement hes the strongest or a reason since theyre all obsessed with that because hes that guy. Liikkkee. Yuta not being able to use his domain or his eyes. Sure hes the strongest but hes just a man too. But this normal man is the strongest for a reason. You get what im saying???
Im also and denial my blue eye king is coming back 😭😭😭😭
#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#jujitsu kaisen#gojo satoru#gege literally needs a psych eval#i cant with him lol
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It is when I try to unravel you from the tangled twine of your past with shaky hands that I realise—you have been weaved into him like the tightening hold of a lover until it is impossible to tell where you end and he begins.
It goes both ways, of course. He has your smile, now. He has your gentle way of speaking intertwined with the same teasing taunts he used to throw at you which you retaliated with ease, the flow of banter as easy as the way he loved.
It always seems to be you and him, him and you, with the occasional him—a god walking amongst men, but never you. You with the bangs, you with the easy smile, you with the bloodshot eyes and ever-constant nausea.
You, kind to a fault. So kind it destroyed you. So kind it took something from you, twisted it and made you cruel. But you were still you, with the maple-syrup eyes and neat bun, now half-up and half-down, cascading down your back like it held the secrets of the day you snapped. You were still you, wiping blood off your face and killing without a second thought.
You, idealistic and hopeful. Searching for meaning in the rustle of trees, in the whistle of the wind, in the scent of spring. In the inevitable disgust as you choke down your latest curse. In the clapping of a sea of smiling faces you drown in, desperately chasing that shred of meaning. In the blood on your hands, the coldness with which you consider the masses.
You, the strongest. One of two, but half the title still belonged to you. Yet your eyes were so tired back then, your shoulders curled in, your gaze so lost and terrified. All I can think nowadays is how on the day you left, your eyes were clear, your exhaustion nowhere to be seen. When you stood opposite him on that street, you stood the same way you had with him at the top of the world. Like you could see the path ahead, and it was brighter than the sun itself.
You, dead in an alleyway.
A moral compass. A logical set of programming that ran its calculations according to a strict set of beliefs and concluded the most suitable course of action. Calm, reliable, rational, methodical. The unrelenting belief that you must protect, waging a war with the ugly nature of the protected.
Even the steadiest, most rigid pillar crumbles with enough pressure.
If I could ask you anything, I would scarcely know where to begin. Do you hate her, too? Like you hate the rest of them? Can you smile from your heart in this world, now? If you're not doing this for them anymore, then who are you doing this for?
Does your chest ache from the memories it carries?
#you know#i see a lot of rants about gojo#and what hidden inventory did to him#but suguru's not just satoru's one and only#and sometimes i feel like ppl compress him to just that a lot#he's really complex#and i want to take him apart and study every little bit of his psyche#i love him sm
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ohhh my god my heart... he did so well 🥲
#jjk 236#reading the translated pages made me feel a lot better actually#he just wanted to be understood by sukuna and vice versa :( he went all out for this one chance and he still couldnt do a thing :((#at least sukuna acknowledged that at the very end at least#i'm good now. it may not have been the best way to go out but hes at peace now nd he got to talk to his friends one last time#need 2 study for my psych exam now but just had to be sentimental for my fave blue eyed freak for a moment :')#goodnight gojo satoru indeed
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