#and i don't get how that girl survived
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ANTHONY BOYLE as JOHN WILKES BOOTH in MANHUNT (2024), episode six
#anthony boyle#john wilkes booth#manhunt#manhuntedit#mine*#perioddramaedit#periodedit#pdedit#userperioddrama#weloveperioddrama#onlyperioddramas#usershelby#riveterema#userlin#usercutespider#BROWN CURLS BY CURLING ✅#BIG WET EYES ✅#SLUTTY SHIRT ✅#LITERALLY FLIRTING AS IF HIS LIFE DEPENDED ON IT ✅#i have deceased#and i don't get how that girl survived#gah there's so much to love about these few seconds
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no seriously if you are plugging your oc lore into chatgpt and reading the ai generated fanfiction it produces you don't deserve original characters and i say this with upmost sincerity and seriousness
#ai#anti ai#fuck ai#fanfiction#fanfic#tiktok#oc#oc art#oc fanfic#chatgpt#none of you are surviving the winters#writing#author#authors of tumblr#writeblr#fic#the internet was a mistake#just kidding i don't seriously believe the internet was a mistake some of you just need to learn how to behave#people on tiktok where like “its ok if you don't post it” girl......#i might make a proper video about this on tiktok but people WILL get angry and idk if i have time for that
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I keep drinking coffee thinking it's gonna make me Productive and then instead of doing the work I actually have to do I just compulsively make spreadsheets :(
#my homework is. not done#but!!! i just realized if i take 2 spanish classes i can have a russian/spanish major instead of just russian#(it's complicated but this would leave me with: double major languages and history with a joint major in asian middle east studies)#(plus a minor in religious studies and concentration in islamicate studies)#first i gotta: relearn spanish for like the third time#but it's ok i'm hopping thru spain in less than a month so i should proooobably do that anyway#man when i was touring colleges my mom was like really dismissive about the idea of double majoring and now i'm here like#How Many Things Can I Stack Up To Get Big Number On Transcript#aaaaaaaand because of ames requirements i did the dumb thing and ended up learning persian while my spanish is still kinda iffy#итак совершилося то что я пытался предотвратить as they say#so i'm just gonna have to study two languages at once next semester... or just keep going thru the cycle of relearning them abt every year#my russian is a big girl it can survive on its own but i now gotta feed the babiessssss#tho ig what this kinda cyclically learning and forgetting spanish has taught me is like#languages are less like babies and more like those lil desert plants that wither up when they don't have any water#they might look dead but they're nearly impossible to kill completely#and will bounce right back after a lil care n patience. i just gotta like.... water em#the one thing standing in my way is ideological opposition to my spanish textbook#i have to pay $200 for access to a *website*#*i don't even get a book just a shitass ebook*#but it's ok one of the spanish profs likes me i think? i think she would let me skip the intro lit class#only problem is it was Genuinely Hard for me to follow along when i audited advanced lit... 90% of the class was heritage speakers#tho ig like. having taken a class meant for native russian speakers should help w learning to survive that kinda thing#genuinely i think i can do it#just gotta make that my goal. study. do it for zapata#and if i wanna go into translating... having good spanish should help right? like if i finally get b2 spanish?#yeah. if i could do kazakh history for native russian speakers i can do spanish lit for heritage spanish speakers. it's equivalent enough#but ok i'm gonna visit my buddy in spain who did nearly the exact same shitass majors combination as me#tho i think he did spanish/arabic for his language major and just Happens To Also Be Fluent In Russian cuz he's Like That#it's ok he's two years older than me i have two years to become that cool#he can tell me what to do
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i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point
#and then you just have to get up and keep living anyway because what else is there to do?#but man my heart keeps feeling heavier with every blow#2024 has literally been the worst year ever god personally too#like everytime i think it can't possibly get worse than this it does#i remember literally 9th jan i had such a horrible breakdown in an auto because the first friend i ever made#after school was leaving my work and therefore my life#9 days into the year. seriously. and i was so happy on 8th because it was my birthday#i don't know im trying hard to think okay this doesn't even affect me it's fine im privileged enough that even my own countrys politics#barely affects me#but just. india is already so behind in everything. if developed nations are doing shit like this then well#it will never get better right like who do we even strive to be#i want to get more into indian politics but my god. it's so horrifying and depressing all the time#like i remember resolving to follow politics closely few years ago and the first news#i read was about some minister talking about how girls skirts lengths IN SCHOOL is the reason boys do sa and boys will be boys etc etc#i know i could just follow business news stuff like that god knows it'll help in my field but it just. doesn't resonate with me doesn't#make me feel anything at all. like i so desperately want to care about ooh stock markets and how to grow your money etc etc#but when i think about being rich enough to invest idle money all i can think is sitting in my own home peacefully#drinking a glass of cold coffee and just being able to breathe freely because me and my sister used to joke in childhood#when dad went thru a coffee v bad for health phase and he wouldn't let us drink it so we would drink it very sneakily#at night when he was asleep or went out for an hour and make absolutely no noise while mixing the sugar. we said that we know#we'll* know we have achieved true freedom and happiness in life when we can peacefully drink cold coffee in the hall and not secretly#in the dead of night in our room#i don't even know what im talking about and my period is late again and nothing is working and my lazer focus#that i had built in the past few weeks is gone because suddenly im like what is the point????#i just don't understand how the fuck humans can fight over stupid fucking things like who is kissing who and who is doing what with their#body instead of focusing on collective issues like our planet is dying so fucking fast and every summer is getting impossibler to survive#i hate that the united states control the UN fuck this world fr man i hate being born in such horrible helpless times#like call me a kid or dumb or whatever but i cannot understand how MILLIONS of people do not#have sympathy for ppl around them and who don't care about the planet at all like how????? how did you grow up????#not trying to boast but this is so natural to me!!! didn't you make save water save earth posters in school!!! didn't anyone
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Can't stop thinking about Magical Girl Raising Project lately IT COULD'VE SAID SO MUCH IF ONLY IT WASN'T PART THE PROBLEM
#The premise of a magical girl killing game has so much potential to comment on how people only care about magical girls when they die#The main character being a diehard magical girl fan who survives because she sticks to the ideals of what they should be YES THAT'S PERFECT#But then it just is a series where magical girls die and that's the appeal of it and why people watched it it's not saying anything about i#DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON LA PUCELLE#It could've been such a good commentary on gender and magical girls GAHHHHH#WHY DID HE DIE SO QUICKLY#I can't stop thinking about it I'm going to steal the idea and do it myself it had such potential but it's just Part of The Problem#mango rambles#Magical Girl#Magical Girl Raising Project#MGRP
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had a fellow f1 fan at the camp and i will try to never talk about f1 with her again
#the side eye she gave me when i told her essere ferrari + oscar#she was MAD because i like oscar more than lando#like sorry girl for having my faves#'so how are we feeling about 2025' did she expect me to burst out in tears or what? lewis at ferrari is going to be bomb (i hope so)#then she proceeded to list of all of her faves and didn't let me speak#i still think she believes that i'm upset about the C2 breakup 😭#she's a yapper /neg#my god and don't get me started about the project i had to do with her#god really gave me an insane amount of patience when creating me because how the fuck did i survive this#anne talks: about random things#anne talks: about f1
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> be a robin buckley fan
> be lesbian
> project on robin
> look up "internalized homophobia robin buckley" on tumblr because it's cathartic
> 3/4 of the posts are about st3ddie or just about steve
#saw one in which steve was like ''no robin you don't understand! i have never been loved! i don't know how that feels like!''#i have several grips about that interpretation#going from the fact that's not true (dustin is clearly a big steve fan + robin herself cares about him deeply)#to the fact he probably wouldn't be introspective enough to voice his emotions this concisely not to mention he'd probably wouldn't take#a moment to realize he's never felt loved if that were the case. i mean. he could think that. when he's like 35 and more in touch with his#inner world. 19yo steve can't even get the hint that hitting on a girl who's already clearly taken (nancy) is wrong so like i don't expect#him to be that smart#but i can live with people having takes i don't agree with. my opinion doesn't have to be everyone else's opinion if you see steve that way#it fine#what bothered me was the fact he was saying this to a lesbian living in the 80s lmao#who tells him that 1) her whole life has been an error 2) she doesn't think he'd want to be close to her if he truly knew her and 3)#3) is paralyzed by fear of social suicide if she dares believe for even a second that the girl she likes may like her too#like i dont need people to do deep dives into robin lore and quote from memory lines from Surviving Hawkins abt robin feeling like she's#rotten inside. not supposed to have friends. feeling like something is wrong with her and that pushes people away etc etc#the fact that she's a lesbian should tell you enough abt who has the biggest chances of being loved 😭#also bothered me that it showed up when looking up posts abt internalized homophobia because?? where's the internalized homophobia therw#unless it's gay steve feeling bad abt it in an AU (as if canon robin didn't go through it)#like look im not bothered to find steve-centric content in the robin tag cos people are gonna tag her in posts mentioning her.#she's his friend.#but there are barely any posts at all about robin's internalized homophobia. like i saw 2 or 3. compared to all the steve or steddie ones#where's the love for my babygirl 😭😭#anti steddie#not really but y'know i don't wanna bother anyone#edit: the bit about there being like 3 posts on robin w internalized homophobia isn't exactly true. there are a few. but they still feel#drowned in st3ddie posts#like something isn't right here
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My apologies to anyone at the gym who's noticed me wearing the same workout clothes 3 days in a row. They don't make many affordable workout clothes for short fat girls, and I also don't have my own washer and dryer. I'm just doing my best to maintain my body.
#body maintenance#exercise#laundry#went shopping for workout clothes tonight#I shopped for 3 hours and only found one complete outfit for#there were only a handful of things in my size#it's like they don't want fat people losing weight until we're already a size twelve#I know there's some great plus size clothes online#but I don't want to spend $80 on one pair of leggings#our apartment doesn't have any washer and dryer#so nothing gets clean until we have time to go to the laundromat#I've been surviving on about 4 outfits to wear to the gym for a few months#but they're all shorts and tanks and now it's freezing cold#I just want to be active and maintain my body and not hurt all the time#I'm going to keep exercising because it's been good for me#the logistics are kind of a pain though#I'm going to keep being the fat girl there ruin the gym bros day#some of the serious gym bros will flex in the mirror and then get annoyed when they see my fat ass in the background#yeah bro I'm still here taking time on your bicep machine lifting 25lb#*smiles and waves*#I do not have a personal trainer because when they asked how much weight I wanted to lose#and I told them I didn't own a scale they would probably blue screen#which would be very funny#health over thinness
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Okay but consider:
Soyona Santos as a Final Girl in her youth.
#dunno what the incident would be but#do you see the vision#soyona santos#jurassic world: dominion#jurassic world#jurassic world: chaos theory#what do you get after a young lady survives something horrific in her childhood?#you get someone unflappable and terrifying and messed up#just like soyona#(pay no attention to the fact that Brooklynn is also a Final Girl but all five of her friends survived)#(don't think about the dynamic between Final Girl Soyona who couldn't keep her friends alive and Final Girl Brooklynn who did)#(This was not what I tohught of at first this was just the natural progression I swear)#(someone pointed out how great it is when the final girl is crazier than the killer and I thought of Soyona)#(the rest spawned from there)
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I love that Sorreltail specifically has absent seizures! :) I used to have them and I have almost never seen them depicted. Keeping in mind that mine usually happened when I was more inactive/not doing anything and this is how little kid me interpreted them but something I remember is how frustrated they made me! It felt like people were just making a big deal out of me spacing out. (Again, little kid me talking, I definitely wasn't "just spacing out"). It especially didn't help that I -
- I couldn't recall incidents, like apparently that time I fell out of the chair I was sitting in during school and had 0 idea how I got on the floor. I can say though that now that I'm older, that I comprehend what was happening better and hold a better, different view on it.
"Frustration" is the number 1 emotion that keeps coming up when I look up Absence Seizure education LMAO All people who have seizures express them in a unique way, but being annoyed with them seems to be the 1 uniting factor!!
They're quite common in childhood, so I'm not surprised you used to have them/seem to imply you have them less now that you're older. In spite of that it's really rare to see them depicted so I hope I'm fixing that in the little way I can. Most people think that seizures are clonic/tonic by definition.
I actually did not know about absence seizures before I did my research, so when I realized there was something I did not know I figured it would be a good idea to correct that gap in my knowledge and include it.
I hope I'm getting it right! I always try to consult videos and writing from epileptic people when writing it, so I hope that shows.
#Epilepsy is a super broad and varied condition#And people just don't even know it#Epilepsy is ANYTHING that causes recurring seizures#So there's a bajillion ways to get it and express it#I also try to always make sure that epilepsy is just part of them y'know?#Sorrel is an active girl so I try to think about how her seizures affect her life.#The things she wants to do and how her disability factors into that.#Also I like just wrote her car accident scene for this outline of Firestar's Quietus I'm making#I think it's really cool tbh I just did a big overhaul of a thing#Willowpelt just survived <3#bone babble
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#I also keep seeing modern au aubrey-maturin art#that makes me wish I could draw and thereby contribute#unfortunately I can't even *write* modern aus generally. but I like transferring character dynamics from place to place in my brain#and I feel like I could do a university AU very nicely if I could do AUs at all#because I have had rowers in my class with as far as I could tell jack's exact personality#(unfortunately it has to be a US university AU because (a) that's what I know and (b) afaik nobody else does randomly assigned roommates)#(and I cannot pass up the opportunity for randomly assigned roommates.#OR RATHER#for 'you seem more or less human - quick let's request each other so we don't have to go into potluck'#I think that works best)#(but maybe they are both international students anyway. that works fine. & therefore extremely alarmed by potluck [can't say they're wrong]#sophie is a sorority girl. english major I think. and I can see her so clearly#(she's the part I want to draw)#she's not that into the high-octane social schedule her sorority expects her to have#but her pushy mother was a member and it is Unthinkable that sophie should not be#and a lot of the other girls are sweet :) so it's fine :) she says#feel like she has roommate issues (unlike her original self she is able to live away from mrs williams so this makes up for that)#so she's always over in jack and stephen's room. people who know her tangentially sometimes gossip about which one she's actually dating#(at that particular moment it is actually neither of them she's just hanging out with stephen)#diana freed from the shackles of 19th century womanhood creates even more and weirder drama than in canon#idk I just want to see the plot of post captain played out over text message#don't ask me HOW idk HOW i just want it#stephen is a biology major/pre-med obvs. if he can survive organic chemistry#jack is some kind of engineering major. I think he'd enjoy that with the math. diana has changed her major 7 times#(I don't know whether to put jack in rotc. I don't think it Actually actually fits - he's in the navy in canon because he's in the navy#not bc he's Inevitably Military In All Worlds. he would not want to do that if he didn't get to sail#but at the same time I find it hard to picture him not belonging to Discipline somehow.#it's more than a disinterested passion for cleanliness that drives him to wash stephen's mug for him that has had coffee and ramen in it#(and NOT in that order)#in the bathroom sink
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my hot take about descendants is that NONE of the core four were ready for a relationship until maybe like, the third movie (rant in tags)
#they were still adjusting to living life without struggling to survive#a girl should not be jumping into a relationship the same week she just tried her first piece of non-rotten food lol#thats not to say I don't like the canon ships#but mal married literally the FIRST man she met in auradon. at 18.#and even as far as in descendants 2 we see them still struggling to adjust in different ways (mainly mal)#in d3 they seem to have fully assimilated into life in Auradon (as much as a VK can anyway)#so it makes sense for them to THEN seek out relationships if that's what they want.#but disney ofc wanted to act like romantic love just automatically fixes a person's problems ig?? as if a relationship wouldn't just be#added stress given the position the VKs were in in d1#not to mention dating just like. wasnt a thing on the isle (mal even says this)#and I get that the kids are craving to be loved because their parents didn't gaf about them. But I wish the first movie focused more on the#finding that love in each other than romantically with outside people. a sort of “they had love in them all along” moment.#and then this fandom loves to argue about whether Jarlos/Janelos was 'rushed'. at least Carlos (and Jay +lonnie) waited a few months before#throwing themselves into the dating scene. Poor evie had her heart broken within like 3 days of being in Auradon. no wonder she was willing#to help steal the wand lol.#Anyway to wrap up this rant I didn't even mean to go on#I just think that kids who have spent the first 14-16 years of their lives fighting to survive and being put through continuous trauma on a#daily basis don't need dating right away. they need THERAPY.#if anyone here has seen stranger things its kinda an El and Mike situation were its like. the girl grew up in a lab and fell for the first#boy in regular society who was kinda nice to her lol. thats how I view Mal and Ben#same with doug and evie. he was nicer than chad but he still fell for her for her looks and she still fell for him because he was the first#guy in auradon to be genuinely interested in her. also evie had a whole “I dont need a prince” arc and ended up with a man anyway?#my problem with janelos was always that Carlos never quite worked out his mommy issues or his anxiety. I feel like he'd be afraid of hurtin#her even though that boy wouldn't hurt a fly. and we see Jane get pretty stressed out herself- have you ever been in a relationship where#both of you have anxiety? cause it either goes really well (you help keep each other calm) or REALLY terribly (you make each other spiral)#I actually really liked Lonnie and Jay (though I feel like it would've had a bigger payoff if she was in d3. not sure why she wasn't but I#wont dunk on that because it couldve been smth to do with her actress). I think Lonnie is someone who can 'handle' Jay well and match his#energy. And I like the idea of Jay finding someone he's loyal to after being commitment-phobic for 1 1/2 movies and the whole first book lo#and ofc I have to throw this in here: any auradon kid the VKs get with is never going to grasp even half of what they went through.#this doesnt mean they can't try to understand and be empathetic. but it will always cast a shadow on VK/AK relationships.
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#GAGGGEDDDDDD#yay omg yay:)#guys i am going to die#oct 27 2024#no cosnlike. in dreams or whatever WHATEVER#sick to my stomach i've literally been hallucinating delusional etc#u don't understand i'm going to die#LIKE FAVORITE PERSON EVER SORRY#the way i cross my sevens and z's and don't leave a space for the smiley face :|#hope she never knows how obsessedddd :)#oct 28 2024#:| idk it's the only thing keeping me going but also i survived six months#oct 29 2024#giggling twirling my hair kicking my heels looking at my phone get a grip...#. no bc my brain#i am having a terrible day but i love her#being delusional works!#i am SO EXCITED lutkkenekenfksnfn i am so excited i've missed her so much#actually soooo sick and twisted the way my irl ummm what do you call... emotional support older white women are actually the best huggers in#the world like it's not my fault#lik i don't i don't i do not i donut even care !#no thoughts head empty#stoppp cos like building it up in my head based on the past etc etc ...... but it always lives up 2 it & more!#oct 30 2024#cointinuing to be insane 🙏#idk there is something so tender ............#waaaah ok waaaaaaaaaaah i cant#just want to go HOME#want to swim in prelude 4ever#girl who is so so tired and just wants it to be 7:30 east
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You guys think the one piece movies are on letterboxd?
#or are they not cinema.....#my letterboxd user is the same as this one yes... you can see it but you cant laugh. i will know#talking tag#watching heart of gold bc i didnt back then but now i have nothing to watch so here we are#i was like this is not worth it... but now i am famished#is this fucking gernica??? hello what the fuck is he doing here#the girl's design and animation is so different it looks like it doesn't belong there... its so strange...#how is gernica getting beat up by this no name... use tekkai or something like damn...#luffy using meat as bait??? ooc... we would never give it away like that...#*luffy being taken hostage* everyone: 😐#sanjis cunty off white turtleneck.... slay also it feels like they are stretching the scenes... this is a movie come on now#what the hell is sanji wearing now... rip off white turtleneck....#COME ON NOW!! what are robin and nami wearing..... enough!!!! fanservice (this one not the one i like) is a plague upon this earth#this feels like an animation test for wano... it looks kinda similar except the backgrounds#so they were all free and didn't try to escape but most importantly is that brook wouldnt be bothered by the arrows bc he is dead indeed#“i just used them [your crew] as tools” didn't we get past this in arlong park... come on now give me something original something new#murder suicide </3 not again.... nevermind it did not work... massive L. *j bieber voice*:hah... i love that laugh... CHIAAAA LALALALALA#luffy one shot this man. come on now that is this nonsense....#gear 3 his ass out of here. also funny how zoro went for the woman... he knows#the ahots of nami and robins unimpressed faces when pirate franky shows up akshakajai... nobody (everyone but them) moved#sanjis cunty chunky bracelet... where does this come from... his gay ass closet of course....#omg he did gear 3 one shot him akdhakshsk i do know him don't i... omg he got dissolved akdhakajak#but how did the father survive without pure gold?? lmao#so this was the gold film prequel.... i see i thought it was the other way around#alright.... kinda mid and too long. strong world clears and gold was kinda better too bc of nami lesbianism. final review#watching one piece#watching one piece movies
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my lovely girl heron
#ass photo but I'm too lazy to put in effort as screenies are unnecessarily complex for this game#poor girl was abandoned by her group (my game crashed) and is now migrating alone (I don't have anyone to play with)#and has a low chance of survival as she does not know how to hunt and will not stock up enough food for the dry season and winter#trying not to get too attached to her :(
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#i can't live like this anymore.#no matter what happens it's always my fault. it can never be anyone else's. and when i try to contest that i get treated like a rabid dog#so youre saying the only role im fit for is 'alcoholic shut in?' is that what you're implying? because that's what it seems like#i can't believe i ever fooled myself into thinking anything would change as long as im here.#no matter how much medication i take this town will always make me fantasize about making myself suffer.#it's a black hole. it's a well of misery. no light escapes and it taints everything inside. i can't have anything good here#i know there's something wrong with me. i get it. but it's like being here makes it worse#im a bad person. i don't want to be a good person. it doesn't feel bad. it just feels warm.#but i can take that and put it in a box when im not here. but its like this place IS the box and when im here it just festers#and because of that i can't ever be taken seriously when i have a problem. im always too emotional and too angry and too sensitive#and even if I wasn't any of those things they wouldn't take me seriously anyway.#it's one thing to say your kitchen doesn't have a problem with women and it's another thing entirely to stay true to that.#if a ticket is too slow it's my fault. if the temp on a steak is wrong it's my (female) coworker's fault. if something's not organized#it's one of the girls that left it that way. always.#but whenever the guys have problems it's 'just how it is' but when uts any of us it warrants a talking to every time#if i were normal it wouldn't bother me this much but im not and it does. and no amount of reasoning will ever change a man's mind#this was good while it lasted but i need to leave. my life depends on it. i can't survive here.
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