#health over thinness
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My apologies to anyone at the gym who's noticed me wearing the same workout clothes 3 days in a row. They don't make many affordable workout clothes for short fat girls, and I also don't have my own washer and dryer. I'm just doing my best to maintain my body.
#body maintenance#exercise#laundry#went shopping for workout clothes tonight#I shopped for 3 hours and only found one complete outfit for#there were only a handful of things in my size#it's like they don't want fat people losing weight until we're already a size twelve#I know there's some great plus size clothes online#but I don't want to spend $80 on one pair of leggings#our apartment doesn't have any washer and dryer#so nothing gets clean until we have time to go to the laundromat#I've been surviving on about 4 outfits to wear to the gym for a few months#but they're all shorts and tanks and now it's freezing cold#I just want to be active and maintain my body and not hurt all the time#I'm going to keep exercising because it's been good for me#the logistics are kind of a pain though#I'm going to keep being the fat girl there ruin the gym bros day#some of the serious gym bros will flex in the mirror and then get annoyed when they see my fat ass in the background#yeah bro I'm still here taking time on your bicep machine lifting 25lb#*smiles and waves*#I do not have a personal trainer because when they asked how much weight I wanted to lose#and I told them I didn't own a scale they would probably blue screen#which would be very funny#health over thinness
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Trans women. I'm grabbing you by the shoulders and yelling. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE SKINNY TO BE FEMININE AND PRETTY AND CUTE. PLEASE STOP MAKING DIETS PART OF YOUR TRANSITION GOALS. WEIGHT LOSS IS A SCAM. I LOVE YOU. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.
#I see so many transfems say they want to have “flat stomachs” or do diet and exercise regimes to try and get an “hourglass figure”#and it really worries me. girls you do not have to destroy yourselves to fit into unachievable beauty standards#the vast majority of cis women don't even fit those standards#and the same goes for you transmascs! I see you! I see you trying to get smaller chests and hurting yourselves with weight loss routines#and excessive workouts. it's not worth it. weight loss has OVER a 90% long-term failure rate and there's a reason for that#I assure you whatever diet you think you've found that “works for you” won't be working so well 5 years from now#and you're going to blame yourself for “slacking off”. but it's not you. it was never you. it was designed to fail.#these standards are made to hurt people and then sell them a false solution at the price of your health#I encourage you to transition if you'd like and live your best life I really do. but please please please do so SAFELY.#if weight loss is part of your transition goals please reevaluate WHY you believe thinness is necessary for achieving femininity#(or masculinity or androgyny but this stuff particularly affects women in the way it's marketed)#do research on fatphobia and the roots of weight loss culture. Learn where these ideas come from and why they're so prevalent.#It's extremely important#take care. stay safe. love you very much#trans#fat liberation#transgender#lgbt#trans rights#fat positivity#diet culture#fatphobia#transfem#trans positivity#transgirl#trans women#trans woman
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Does anybody else feel like mental health awareness has done very little to help them in material reality
#i was gonna say done nothing to help but that seemed too harsh#like there definitely is more knowledge about it now. maybe more people feel comfortable speaking about it which is good#but personally i don't feel that. like idk. workplaces will post about mental health awareness and then do nothing to help employees#the same w universities. my uni cut back the already meager mental health support#and then the government is doing absolutely fuck all as well#like idk im just back in a place i thought id gotten out of long ago and i still don't feel comfortable talking about it with people#maybe that's a me problem or maybe it's cultural or something idk. but in the 10 years ive been depressed (🫠) i don't think it's gotten a#whole lot better. teenagers are still dealing with the same shit i did and they're still not being taken seriously#women's mental health is not even spoken about.....anxiety depression sh eds etc are still ignored or seen as hysterical behaviour in women#or just normal esp with disordered eating. society hasn't changed people still want women to be stick thin and weak#like i know 10 years is a short time and there has been massive improvements in mh awareness if we look back over the past 50+ years#but idk i just think that it hasn't gotten better for a lot of people#i think specifically of belfast and like god. the amount of trauma there is the amount of homelessness the amount of substance abuse#drug abuse in particular that has gotten visibly worse over the past decade or so*#and i connect the dots n see the 2008 recession + a tory gov defunding the nhs + dehumanisation of homeless people & addicts + the troubles#+ ptsd + generational trauma + a negative peace + classism + paramilitary drug dealers + parties linked to those paramilitaries#and its like hmmmm i think we live in a society. and a mental health approach based on individual actions like journaling and meditation#isn't the way to go. or at least is not the be all and end all which is what a lot of mental health awareness raising seems to promote#*visibly worse on the streets. it was always a problem ofc but even a decade ago my parents never imagined it would be as bad as it is now#and it's become so normalised. i do think there's less individualism here than there seems to be elsewhere which can be good and can be bad#but i think we are becoming more and more individualistic. slowly. there's still a sense of community here but i do think it's changing#and callousness towards homeless people is one of the most obvious examples of this.#love when i put a wee asterisk in the tags of a post. like i have A Lot To Say lol
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kind of frustrating that people took "fat does not equal unhealthy" to mean "fat is not unhealthy." sometimes being obese IS unhealthy & excess fat can cause a lot of problems. ignoring health issues isn't progressive. real "oranges kill people with depression" moment
#i have a lot to say but i think it all boils down to this:#the only reason people think this way is because they experienced body shaming & bullying for their fatness#& instead of gaining a healthy relationship with their body & its needs they went full denial mode#people that aren't fat that think this way are just going with things uncritically which is also bad btw#because when you have decades of proof that being severely overweight can be detrimental to your health#(& no i don't mean fucking. supersize me. i mean medical proof that too much fat causes diseases & early death)#but you're ignoring that because a tiktok influencer that has no medical experience said so#that is a huge lack of critical thinking skills on display & people are gonna listen to that misinformation & some might die#this isn't some light shit that can be waved off as non-harmful because it IS harmful! it is actively hurting people!!#again being unhealthy isn't a moral failing & no one deserves shit for that!! but that's the whole damn point isn't it!!!#militant fat activists are so afraid of their fatness being associated with anything negative they turn right around into ableism#they don't WANT to be considered disabled! because being disabled IS a moral failing to them. disability is abnormal#& of course being morbidly obese is totally normal. because if it wasn't then they'd need to do work & handle an ED#& that's too much to grapple with mentally so. no. they're normal. super normal. don't look at the lifespan of someone over 300lb#btw i am 100% aware that a lot of this is combined with other issues like racism sexism homo/transphobia genuine fatphobia#but also sometimes they really can't operate on someone that can't recover afterwards#like i wouldn't call the vet bigoted & cat-hating for being unable to operate on my 20yo cat#Minnie would simply not survive that. because she is so damn old#unfortunately for Minnie she can't get younger but people CAN lose weight in multiple different ways#& it may seem like the world is attacking you but you really have to train yourself out of automatic bad faith reactions#''you couldn't possibly understand!!'' yeah okay i'm sooo abled & privileged you got me there (<-sarcasm. if you couldn't tell)#just because someone hasn't experienced your EXACT thing doesn't mean they can't relate & haven't gone through similar#it's so difficult to train your brain out of that shit i get that but you really really really have to. or you will die#or at least be miserable#DISCLAIMER: i'm not talking about every person who has even a little fat on their body. fat is NEEDED#but like all things too much of a good thing can cause problems & fat is not exempt#this is about morbid obesity. not someone who's like 160lb that shit is normal#& people need to stop thinking anything over 110lb is fat#because it isn't & i think most people are getting into unhealthy territory at that low of a weight#basically i view being too fat the same as being too thin. they both cause health problems & should be taken seriously
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You ever hear something so fucking deranged it makes you want to *************** 🫠🫠🫠🫠
#im sorry im advance for sharing this but i simply have to because What#the fuck.#basically. dude. goes on about how big and buff and strong he is. i out of politeness am like oh do you go to the gym?#my mistake. anyways hes like nah not really but i take testosterone shots because of my depression and other varying mental health issues#and im internally like ah thats great. maybe he realises how essential gender affirming health care like that is#but no. before i could blink he then went on about how its because theres so much estrogen in the water and its why more men these days are#'gay' and 'effeminate' i literally said nothing. i wanted to. by jove i wanted to. but i know this guy and he is like a brick fucking wall#and has no base level respect to me so would never listen. anyways i stayed quiet and then the convo moved on. but oh my god. oh my god.#LITERALLY WHAT IS THE LOGIC WHERE ARE THE SOURVES WHAT IS YOUR EVIDENNCECVECECECECVEVE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#i dont even know how to explain to you why this is making me so mental. like this dude objectively. he likes 'chick flics'. he talks about#his emotions and is super open and touchy feely and affectionate with other dudes. like he SHOULDNT have such a fucked mindset from the way#he lives his life. but he fucking does and it drives me crazy. like his worldview is so warped and its Scary#also the water thing. pray tell. i DONT GET ITTTT 😭😭😭. like this same man said to me that i probably have an over abundance of testostero#ne. his basis you ask? the fact my hair thinned my build and my overall personality. like what do you fucking meaaannnaannannaannannananan#you wouldnt know gender if it slapped you in the fucking face my guy oh my god#also by this logic shouldnt i be getting the estrogen i Allegedly so desperately require from drinking tap water???????#the same water he Insists is filled with too many hormones. LIKE NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE AND I WISH THESE STUPID FUCKING MEN WOULD THINK#ABOUT ANYTHING FOR MORE THAN 5 SECONDS. oh my god. oh my god.#i actually need to bleach my brain like what the fuck is going on.#i wanna go on but ive dragged it as it is. fuck me man.#le text post
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#shouldn't have shoved aside the panic attack that was building last night#when I had to leave work during a massive snow storm#because that overwhelmed feeling carried over into today#and im exhausted and I'm about 2seconds from losing my shit but i cant AGAIN because i have to get ready for work#my shift starts in just over an hour lmao#and i feel like a raging bitch#all snappy and nasty#but really im stretched too thin#and im terrified#of not getting into grad school of this forever being my fuckin life#but also because my health is bad but my brother's is worse and i just watched something terrifying happen to him#(something in his neck temporarily dislocated)#and i just#im so SICK of everything being shitty#im so sick of our shitty medical system and how my brother cant find anyone to take him seriously and actually help him#and i go each day wondering if... if. and i can't handle it. and if i get into grad school I'll be leaving the state...#and if something.....#i know ive put my life on hold for my parents because im afraid of what ifs and my dad's health has ALSO been shit#(i love growing up with a parent that casually says stuff like I Wont Be Alive By Then. or When Im Dead-. all the time.)#and ive been terrified of leaving Just In Case. and every time my brother's health goes bat shit sideways again i freeze and panic#and I don't have TIME to panic or freeze rn but as im well aware the body will make you take a break if you don't make time for one#it's all BS & im tired & lost & i want so BADLY to get into this particular school but i feel Guilty for wanting to leave so fucking badly#idk what to fuckin do#☉#tbd#im gonna cry. or be sick lol. maybe both.
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have you seen a guy in shorts drinking an iced coffee while standing outside in the snow while it's actively snowing yet?
Not yet, but I have heard a couple guys in the ecology department talk about going swimming in the Penobscot River next week
You know, like crazy people who like playing fast and loose with frostbite
#absolute masochists I swear#I'm bundled up like the freaking michelin man and my fingers and toes are still going numb#and then these people will walk past me in nothing but a pair of leggings and one extra unbuttoned long sleeve shirt over a tank top#with not a care in the world#ONE GIRL WAS WEARING JUST A SPORTSBRA UNDER AN OPEN THIN AF SWEATSHIRT! IN 20 DEGREE WEATHER#AS THE SUN WAS SETTING!#my working crack theory at the moment is the lack of sunlight in winter increases bouts of lunacy#the less New Englanders see the sun the more they revert to ice goblins or white walkers or something#like seasonal werewolves but with less care about the health of their extremities
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when the RA is knocking on the door to do the health and safety check but we’ve got at least 5 different bottles of vodka out on the coffee table, the recycling bin overflowing with empty white claws, candles burning, and cart in hand
#spicy speaks#they were supposed to do the health and safety’s THREE WEEKS AGO#why were they doing it at like 9 pm anyway??#these walls are so thin I know damn well they heard us pause the tv then panic then run around followed by the clanking of glass bottles#they don’t really care#but we had to throw blankets over everything real quick
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#I held out as long as I could but I finally had to resign today#my boss is just too nice to lay me off even though my work produces almost no business value 😭#like they just did a reorg of the teams that means QA will be stretched too thin over devs#and he’s not allowed to hire any more manual testers#this is not the same situation I was hired into!#I’m a ‘nice to have’ type of employee and they managed without my role for a while#I COULD have made myself indispensable in the last year but I couldn’t be bothered#I was busy writing fanfic and having a baby#not to mention the health shit like my wife getting covid and stranding us at my sister’s house across the country#or my older kid being hospitalized twice for respiratory failure!#so I just did the bare minimum IF THAT#and now a year later it’s all THE YEAR OF EFFICIENCY and all that bullshit#just like the rest of tech right now. bunch of dumbass capitalist copycats…#if my manager weren’t such a good dude he’d have offered my role in exchange for the manual testing hire(s) he CLEARLY needs#I really hope that my resignation helps him either get the new hire he wants or protect the rest of the department from layoffs!!!#I’m so glad I finally got it over with 😭#I start my new job in May so I’ll have a couple weeks to chill!!!
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The fact that cigarette companies exist is fucking dystopian and a sign of the failure of capitalism as an ideology- cigarettes are a product that undeniably caused a bunch of different cancers, we've all seen the tobacco death stats on the back of cig cartons smokers have, and yet. And yet, for some reason instead of saying "zero businesses should be selling cancer causing products to their customers, certainly not when those cancer causing products are so dangerous even the smoke of the product causes cancers in the people around smokers. Businesses have zero right to cause a massive health crisis in the population like this when their only function is to make money- you cannot give people cancer for profit."
Like you'd assume giving people cancer for money would be some kind of fucked dystopian novel that'd get ripped on for being way too over the top and unrealistic but no, we literally live in such a morally bankrupt capitalist brain rotted society that we think selling cancer is fine, we won't do anything about a set of companies that exist solely to get customers addicted to their highly dangerous product for profit. Instead we'll act like it's smokers who need to take responsibility for the industry that's exploiting them. Fucking disgusting if you ask me, that we're more okay with companies giving people cancer than we are with governments giving people welfare.
#winters ramblings#my parents have been smokers for as far back as i remember#id really like to livht some ceos on fire for putting all these people at risk OF CANCER and like 72 billion kinds#so they can make MONEY. what kind of morally vacuous black hole of a person thinks thats acceptable??#and they LOBBIED to hide any effects of smoking second hand effects included. fucking HORRIFYING#the fact that businesses do this a LOT- like bp shell and exxon all covering up climate change to make more money??#capitalism is a failure because people will kill each other or even THE ONLY VIABLE PLANET TO LIVE ON IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM#just to make money. like you can tell me about how horrible other economic systems are all fucking day#and frankly id be inclined to ahree with you on plenty. but capitalism is not a viable choice either#when THIS is the result. selling health crises to the population and killing the planet. name me another economic system thats done THAT#ill fucking wait because capitalism is it. embarrassing that people will defend this system#even more embarrassing that we hand wring over fst people being an epidemic to the point of systemic oppression#because THEY need to take responsibility for the health crisis they allegedly cause despite reporting going to the drs FAR less#than thin people so idk how theyre astrain on health care especially in the us where people literally die before going to emerg but ok#THEY need to be responsible for THEIR health crisis despite losing weight long term being NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE#but tobacco companies can sell cancer to the point if being a WAY MORE SOLVABLE HEALTH CRISIS#but we cant do anything because being disgustingly cruel and punative to individuals is fine but oh dear LORD#how could we EVER treat businesses with more impunity than individuals because they cause INFINITY MORE DAMAGE??#we couldn't POSSIBLY treat a structure of institutional power like it actually HAS power thatd break the illusion its all CONSUMERS faults
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#animaniacs#meme#stretching#body maintenence#millenials#yakko warner#jokes aside#body maintenance is really important#me and my partner have made a concerted effort to start taking better care of ourselves this year#we're not trying to get skinny or get swole or anything related to appearance#we've watched our parents go through so many struggles with loss of mobility and other age related health issues#it really made us see that you only get one body and you can't take your health for granted#we started exercising regularly#exercise has so many benefits beyond how you look#I don't think my appearance has even changed much but I feel more capable#I have more stamina my back pain and joint stiffness is nearly gone and I'm much more flexible#I think 30 minutes of stretching is a bit much for most people but we do at least 10 minutes after each workout#every other day we tell each other how grateful we are that we're taking better care of ourselves#we feel so much better and doing anything is at least 15% easier#I just don't want aging to be painful#I don't necessarily like exercising but a good pair of headphones with music and audiobooks and youtube can make a world of difference#I never thought I'd be a gym rat but here we are#bodies are meant to move#also why are we like the only people at the gym to ever take time to stretch?#do other people lift weights and then just put up with being sore?#I'd rather not feel sore after exercising#plus stretching is a great way to cool down and improve your flexibility#health over thinness
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My antidepressants are making my hair fall out
#im so !!!!#IM SO!!!!#im gunna cry lmao#i mean i already did but#im gunna cry again#i suspected it was happening but wasnt certain....#ive only been taking them a month plus a week and there has been so much hair in my hairbrush#so incredibly frustrating bcus i just spent 2 yrs fixing my hair#it was thin and falling out and i fixed it!!#now im going through it all over again.....#literally cant have shit#im ultra pissed bcus i cant do anything about it#i cant book an appointment with my doctor bcus my healthcard expired#and im currently waiting for a new drivers license to be able to renew my health card :/#i dont have the money to pay for my doctors visit outta pocket#and i cant go off m medication until i get a new prescription :(#bcus if im not medicated im going to have a really bad time and be non functioning again#im just so SAD!!!! AARRGGGGH!!!!!!
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writers block finally letting up for "The hands that hold you"? Finally started the next chapter without it feeling like pulling teeth.
Hopefully the trend continues . I'm gonna poke at it whenever the mood strikes and then pull it all together.
This is admittedly a tough time of year this year.
#my stepdad passed around this time last year so that's not helping me find motivation i know#and i've talked about this on my main blog but not here but were also now dealing with some serious health issues for my roommate's dad#so we're a bit uh.. stretched thin on the emotional side of things over here#the pixie speaks#please be patient with me though i have in no way abandoned my lil satosugu x reader series#it's very dear to me
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. Tw
#tw negative#tw mental health#I hateeeee having a fucked up brain but I expecially hate it at night. I wanna sleep so fucking bad.#I NEED to sleep or else tomorrow I will be tired as shit and won’t function.#but my brain is like yea you should think about kys#and it’s like??? we’ve been over this??#anyway I have been getting help at the uni services but the psychologist assessing me is like. a 60 yo that I don’t feel comfortable with#she’s nice and all but it feels like explaining my problems to my grandma#AND it’s online therapy and this house has paper-thin walls but where tf else would I do the sessions#so I think if anything it’s making shit worse#anyway I am lonely as fuck and I feel stupid lmaoo#also body stuff. I made the mistake of weighting myself a few weeks ago and it goes on a loop-de-loop on my brain#lmao I wish I could shut my brain off with a switch or something. can’t believe there’s people who just. feel normal often.
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As an emo kid I definitely forgot how much of scene / emo fashion really glorified skinner / smaller body types
It was definitely influenced by like pro ana and other harmful mental health / eating disorder / self harm content that was popular online / irl emo spheres. Like all the self deprecating jokes that used to be popular here on tumblr and other platforms. And all the depression blogs that were also everywhere in the 2010s
Everyone talks about how y2k fashion coming back also means the awful body standards of the era will come back, and I’m seeing how those ideas affected subcultures like emo / scene / goth as well!
skinny jeans are the most obvious example of this, but also all those t shirts with different characters on them that were really tight fitting, basically clothes that were designed with thinner bodies in mind. It was also really common for people to wear kids clothing bc most people who wore these styles (or at popular emo YouTubers, bloggers etc.) were all super thin.
I just recalled all of this while searching different online thrift stores for emo clothes and seeing almost everything was size small, extra small etc.
I definitely knew people growing up who were into emo fashion / subcultures growing up who were not stuck thin and had larger body types but if you go and search for this kind of style, you’ll mostly find pictures of really thin people, which I find interesting looking back at all this now as an adult.
#I’m not stick thin but I’m still straight sized so let me know if I’m overstepping or speaking over fat folks#this was just something I noticed and thought I should point out!#I feel like I shouldn’t have to disclaimer this but there’s nothing wrong with being thin#but at the time there was a lot of pressure to be thinner and emo subculture was a space#where a lot of folks struggling with mental health and eating disorders found community and this ‘sad’ ‘sick’ aesthetic was really popular#when you’ve been in the internet long enough to become an internet historian loll#personal
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me: I just feel so hopeless. I've been making all of the recommended changes to my life - cutting out alcohol, eating healthily, exercising, in therapy - and nothing is helping me feel even slightly better. In fact, if anything I feel like I'm getting worse. I don't know what to do and I need help. therapist: well you can't expect to lose 100lbs overnight :\
#i'm not even kidding this is exactly how the conversation went#like are you fucking serious#you listened to all of that and your takeaway was#'I'm not losing weight fast enough'#i'm literally in that fucking david firth unfixable thought machine video#every time I tried to be open and honest about how severe my symptoms are#she just went off about how a CBT therapist can't do anything to help with that#like ma'am trust me I did NOT ask to be referred to you#in fact I specifically requested to NOT be referred to CBT because I knew this would happen#'well you were a good fit for CBT when you referred to us'#no I was not the NHS is just desperately trying to use CBT as a paper-thin plaster over the gaping wound#of the country's worsening mental health crisis#like I'm sorry okay?#I'm sorry I can't just 'get better' on a fast and convenient timeline#believe me if I could then I fucking would#I'm not deliberately keeping myself in constant daily agony as... what some kind of bizarre 'gotcha'?#I just want to scream and cry and give up because what is even the point#brain adventures#mental health#bpd#tw suicide
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