#and i do love to question what happens when you achieve everything you wanted only to find it wanting in turn

[marlboro00999]

So, tell me about yourself, Chris.

"My studies take up a lot of my time. I've always achieved top grades in my chosen subjects. I love the theatre and costume design - I've written a few plays. I'm a good writer, and I like to push the boundaries of acceptibility. People need stimulation and their personal comfort zone needs to be pricked - triggered to question if other possibilities they'd never thought of could be accepted by them."

Are you dating anyone?

"Ha!... No. I was dating for a while, but something happened that changed all that. You see, I started meeting up with a friend after school. He was a good few years older than me, but he made a big impact. I don't even remember how I first met him. That time seems a blur to me now. But I felt compelled to meet up with him when he wanted to meet me a few evenings a week. Nobody had made such an enormous impact on me. He introduced me to smoking, which became more and more regular, as he'd supply me with Marlboro Reds. He became my best friend, and he learnt everything about me."

Really? He must have been quite a guy.

"Oh yes. He really is."

So, what happened?

"On one of the evenings, he took me to a place out of town which was a life-changing experience for me. It transformed my whole outlook on life, and life's priorities."

Can you tell me where that was?

"I can't tell you the location, but it's called the Marlboro Men's Club."

What happened?

"My friend told me he wanted me to meet his friends, so I was quite keen to be introduced. It may seem strange, but even though he knew everything about me, I'd not actually learnt anything about him over all those weeks of meeting up with him and smoking. I can't even explain why. Smoking the cigarettes with him had become an almost ritual process, and I felt incredibly bonded to him through it. I trusted him completely, and can honestly say I'd do anything for him... and for the Marlboro cigarettes."

What happened when you arrived at the Marlboro Men's Club?

"The door was locked, but he had a key. As the door opened, a cloud of cigarette smoke was billowed through the door. He led me into what was a large dark room. It was like some sort of warehouse, but totally wreaked of cigarette smoke. It was such a surprise, but unexpectedly appealing and stimulating. Out of the shadows stepped a number of men, all dressed as my friend dressed, with biker jackets. I wasn't afraid, as I knew they were his friends, and they were all smiling."

So, it was just a few older men?

"Well, actually... no. I was surprised to see a few guys my age from school. Not from any of my classes, but I recognised them from seeing them during break times. All the men and the guys from school were smoking, and all smiled, looking really pleased to see me."

Was the room empty?

"No. There was a very large Marlboro logo on the far wall, illuminated by lamps and candles which adorned a massive stone slap in front of it."

Interesting. So, what happened next?

"I'll simply say that, if the following events were to be included in any of my writings, I'd never be published, and my future prospects in the theater would vanish. However, I can add that after that evening, I broke off with my date. The experience of my ritual initiation into the recently formed Marlboro Men's Youth Club transformed me, and I knew that this was the only family I needed - that no partner could possibly come near to providing the emotional and physical needs that had been revealed to me. I was filled and fulfilled at that stone slab before the Marlboro icon in ways that remain secret, only known to the initiated. I'll simply say that I was brought into full communion with my family and with Marlboro."

What are you writing in that book?

"I'm writing updates on the boys at school that I'm currently nurturing in Marlboro addiction. It's important that I report on their addiction progress, and on my level of influence over them. It's so my family at the MMC can judge when each one is ready for introducing for their initiation."

Their initiation?

"You surely realise that all the boys at the school need to eventually be initiated in the MM Youth Club? It's what's best for them. My family require it. Marlboro requires it."

[storms-path]

FFXIV Write 2023 Day 27 - Sole

If Arashi had been told as a child that she would one day be sitting at a table sipping coffee with a picturesque view of the end of the universe, watching carefully a man who had all-too-recently made it his life’s purpose to duel her to the death, she’d have said she didn’t talk to strangers, especially those that talked nonsense. If she had been told the same thing as an adult, she’d have given the teller a flat look and walked away. And yet, she mused, sipping just-slightly-too-hot coffee, here she was. And there he was. In a constructed body, true, and more likely just a lingering echo, but Zenos viator Galvus sat opposite her all the same. Watching her intently through a glowing helmet.

Arashi had noticed his attention several days earlier while assisting the staff of the Last Dregs with their maintenance of Elysion. One of the Karellians had been watching her intently as she worked, not even bothering to be subtle as their gaze followed her to and fro. Arashi wasn’t unused to such attention (being the Warrior of Light led to someone getting quite used to such things), but something about it felt uncomfortably familiar. And so Arashi had hatched a plan. As she worked, the Karellian watched her. As the Karellian worked, Arashi watched them. A good deal more subtly, of course.

It was the strangest thing. It was obvious in the being’s movements that they were the former crown prince. The practised fluidity. The predator’s gaze lingering over his fellow workers, sizing them all up. The voice (when Arashi dared to get close enough to hear it) was him to a tee, even muffled though it was by his helmet. And yet… He was gentle. He was compliant. He worked without complaint and took orders without question. He laboured, for the first time in his life, for the betterment of others. It was like watching a tiger take up dancing lessons.

It hadn’t lasted long before he had noticed her. But he hadn’t exploded into violence or worse, one of his uncomfortably passionate rants. He appeared nervous, more than anything. As if he hadn’t been watching her every move for days on end. It was, truth be told, the only reason she hadn’t cut him down where he stood. Instead, against her better judgement, she had chosen to “escort” him to a quiet table and a pair of hot drinks. Against her worst expectations, he had accepted without a word.

The silence stretched on dangerously, the outcome of the confrontation hanging on a blade’s edge of unspoken words. Truthfully, Arashi wasn’t sure what to say. She’d thought the man dead and… well, not buried but safely filed away at the edge of space. Apparently the ambient dynamis had other ideas. What do you say to the ghost of a man you killed twice over? Finally, Arashi settled on:

“Why are you here? How are you here?”

The helmet gave no emotions away, but Zenos shrugged in what Arashi could only guess was an awkward fashion. It looked unnatural on him, stolen body or otherwise. “Some trick of our slain foe, I can only imagine. I was ready to embrace my end by your hand, my friend, but to my utmost displeasure, I awoke again. It appears my tale is not yet told, much though I laboured to write such a perfect conclusion.”

Yes, it’s definitely him alright. Arashi stifled an irritated sigh. If she ever encountered Meteion out there in the stars again she would have strong words for the little songbird. Still… “Next question. You knew I was here for weeks and did nothing. Why?”

Another shrug, Zenos’s helmet turning away. His slightly tinny voice sounded, for the first time, uncertain. Arashi took another sip from her steaming mug. “I… You were the victor. We gave everything we had in our clash and in the end it was you who walked away. This is a soldier’s body, but it has grown weary of war. And so, it seems, have I.”

Zenos didn’t mind the spray of coffee that erupted out of Arashi’s mouth and splattered his gold-and-blue helmet. The revelation had surprised him too. But the truth was, as he had laid breathing his last next to his friend, he had only felt… empty. Unfulfilled. He had challenged the mightiest warrior in all of creation, pushed her beyond her mighty limits, achieved his heart’s desire… and had died feeling only like he had somehow missed the point of it all. Arashi had finally finished coughing up her coffee and cleaning up her mess. It was strange, seeing such an unguarded side of her. Strange to see her out of her usual armour as well. Like looking through a soldier’s belongings and finding a pair of knitting needles. How much of you have I never seen, my friend? What joys have you known outside of battle? How have you managed to find them?

Arashi looked at the man in front of her in disbelief. Zenos bloody Galvus, monster of the empire, hunter of the Warrior of Light to the literal end of existence, was tired of war? It was laughable beyond belief. A cruel joke from a crueller man. And yet, watching from the shadows, using all of her sister’s hard-taught lessons, she had seen the truth in it. Seen him choosing a path without violence, seen him learning how to nurture and grow instead of maiming and slaying. Perhaps it was all an act for her benefit. But she suspected not.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” The words were appraising, an undercurrent of curiosity and hope inextricably tied together. She wanted to believe, deep down. Zenos couldn’t help but look at the blade between them. The blade she had used to do battle with him. Spattered with coffee now, rather than blood. But no less dangerous for it. She could have cut him down in an instant.

“I am. I know not what I am, truly. Some echo of the man I used to be, perhaps. His last regrets given form. Or perhaps I am myself entire, given an undeserved last chance. I embraced the role of a monster wholeheartedly, threw myself into the role without regret, and yet now I find myself here questioning the point of the whole insipid play. I, who wrote its words with blood and fire.” He couldn’t meet her eyes even with the helmet protecting his gaze. It didn’t feel right.

“Let me ask you a question in turn. You surely knew who I was before confronting me. I made no effort to disguise my observations, nor to mask myself as you watched me in turn. Yet you have not cut me down. I am certain that you still wish to do so, or else you would not have come armed as you are. Why have you not done so?”

It was a question Arashi knew was coming, but she still found herself unable to answer it. Was it that she wanted to believe even he could change his ways? Was she curious to know what had stayed his hand from continuing their contest? Those may have been part of it, but…

“I suppose I’m tired too, in the end.” The words felt right as they left her mouth. “I’m tired of looking over my shoulder expecting to see you there. I’m tired of trying to prepare any countermeasure I can for when you come for my loved ones. I’m tired of sleepless nights spent wondering if I’ll walk away from our next battle or not. I’m tired of the play. I wanted to know if you were too.”

Zenos nodded, not trusting himself to say anything. It was a terrifying thing to put away his role after so long, but it felt necessary; vital, even. He knew not how long he had left to toil amongst the stars, but he knew with certainty that he could only do so by letting go of what he was. All of it, the whirling passion and the crushing boredom and the singular, incandescent spark that had driven him to such a wildfire of damnation. It was terrifying, truth be told. But he had never felt so free in doing so.

Arashi was silent for a long moment. Then, incredibly, she smiled. At him, her greatest enemy, his only friend. “That’s what I was hoping for.” She placed her mug on the table between them, sitting next to her massive blade in a ridiculous manner. Her hand was outstretched. “Let’s shake on it, then. You give up your little crusade and I don’t put you in a shallow grave.”

Zenos chuckled, gloved hand meeting Arashi’s as they sealed the deal. It was an impossible dream, setting aside his only joy in life in a desperate pursuit of other, simpler pleasures. His true self would have railed against such a thing, fought with gnashing teeth and ripping claw until all that he had left was unmade as well. But he wasn’t that man. He was… not an echo, for an echo could only repeat the voice of its source. But something else. Something new.

They spoke for a while, of the cafe, of the harvest, of the clutch of dragon eggs and the recent hatchlings. Of all manner of unspeakably tedious things. It was… nice to enjoy such base things. How strange that he had never realised it before. Finally, Arashi made to stand, empty cup and neatly cleaned sword held in each hand.

“I’ll let you get back to it,” she said, trying and failing to hide the smile in her eyes. “Keep this up, Zenos. You’re almost pleasant company.” And then she was gone, vanishing in a casual pulse of aether and leaving him alone amongst the stars again.

Zenos would not last forever. A lingering echo will eventually fade to nothing. But the time he had left he spent working with his fellow lost souls. Forging bonds. Making friends. Finally seeing, after so much time, the true value of it all. And when at last he let go and joined whatever was left of him in the aetherial sea, he found himself content. And Arashi, watching him go, felt something she never thought she would feel for the monster.

Grief.

[itsrlymine]

How Many Times Do You Need To Be Told It Already Happened To Know It's Done Now?

Make it simple because it is. Remember it already happened because it did. When we manifest something, WE LITERALLY BEGIN TO TALK ABOUT HOW IT MANIFESTED SO DO THAT SHIT NOW!!!  When something happens, we all naturally recount it. We explain it to ourselves afterwards in whatever way we can. If you want something to happen, tell yourself that it did.  I want a new job. Omg I love my new job. I want to receive tons of money. No way I just received so much money wow. I want a new apartment. Omg I love my new space.  The physicality of a thing isn’t what makes it real. It’s your perception that does. I don’t need to know what device you are reading this on to know you are reading. I don’t need to know when you started, how you pronounce the words, I don’t need to know anything but I know you are. It’s the same with everything else. 

Your mind’s eye sees EVERYTHING FIRST. That doesn’t mean it “takes long.” If you just saw something in your mind, IT HAPPENED. If you just thought of something you would like to experience, YOU ARE EXPERIENCING IT NOW. The only reason you “aren’t” is because you say so. Literally.  Again, when you think about memories, you experience them within you. You can feel like you are experiencing past feelings or thoughts by thinking about them yet you don’t question it. Now when it comes to things you do want, you act all weird about it??? Make it make fucking sense.  This whole entire thing is just about whether or not you trust yourself. Whether or not you believe in yourself. To believe in you is to believe in everything because you are everything. There is nothing outside of you. No power or being dictating whether or not you are worthy of something. The power is you.   I wanted to hear from someone I hadn’t heard from in years last night and then I had to remember “umm?? I’m pretty sure we just got off the phone what the heck.” They called me and we spoke as if there hadn’t been any time that passed at all between us. It had been over 3 years but should I have let that determine if I’d hear from them? NO. It doesn’t matter. The story you tell about yourself is the experience you live. Think back to before you found out about the law (you). You can literally see how your thinking and who you thought yourself to be created situations you were in as a result. There’s no need to sit and beat yourself up about the past because it’s also now just what you say it is.   Give yourself that peace you want. Give yourself the stress free space to enjoy life. There is nothing you can’t achieve as long as you have an open mind.  The world is constantly showing you who you say you are and what you believe about it. Whatever you say you are, you are.  You’ve accepted the fact that you can read and understand the words on this post so what’s stopping you from accepting the fact that you now have what you previously wanted. Be still and fucking know. It’s yours already damn. 

[nymphaura777]

HOW TO MANIFEST ANYTHING??? : Only post you'll ever need

What if I told you, everything you desire is already yours?

So I'd start with the most basic thing which even you'd be tired of hearing

DECIDE, DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT, BE SPECIFIC

So many people have this thing that they are twisted and they don't know what they actually want they are like, I want this, and are like actually no, I want that, so basically they are just twisted in their mind about things : this happens mostly because either people are too excited or too confused about it, so just chill and relax and decide what you want, this is the most basic step ever, no doubts, no ifs, no buts it's already yours.

The key is not wanting it, the key is knowing it you already have it, you listen to subliminals, do 10000 manifestation methods, do robotic affirming several times but the million dollar question is, are you in the energy to have it? Are you even persisting in it? Are you even living like it's already yours? Many people would say it's like being delusional but no, my love, logic doesn't exist in manifestation.

Speak it, feel it, live with it

If you want to affirm once, just affirm once, if you believe saying it 100 times would work, then it works too, everything is based on your belief. If you want to listen subliminals then listen, if you want to do scripting, visualising, robotic affirming just do it, but don't forget to trust on what you're doing and don't let doubts have a control on you, cause doubts are meaningless and powerless, and why a powerful person should let doubts become heavy on them?

Let go of negative beliefs and limiting beliefs, For example : some say if you want to achieve an hourglass body you have to combine exercise with your manifestation process and trust me ITS THE BIGGEST LIE HERE (not completely denying cause they are making an assumption that they need to do work to achieve that), they are just imposing their limiting beliefs on you, if you think like one of these things :

- this is impossible to manifest

- I can't manifest that

- how can I have that it's impossible

- I need to do some work to have it

- I'm not worthy of what I desire

- Manifestation requires a lot of efforts

Then congratulations, you are having limiting beliefs and you definitely need to get rid of it!!!

Detach and Let go, stop obsessing over that thing, just let it go, once you would start feeling like it's already yours, you would start to detach from your desire? Why you need to do anything when you already have your desire? So just let go of every attachment and desire and BOOM 💥, let the magic happen.

So basically manifesting is all about :

1. DECIDE

2. AFFIRM

3. PERSIST

4. RELAX

5. LET GO

Hope this post was helpful y'all! See y'all in the next post

- xoxo 💋

Love from Celeste

[bellanothadidloa]

I've been receiving a lot of inquiries since sharing my success story, and while I'm not planning to start a blog, I do want to address some common questions here.

Did I manifest everything from the void?

Yes, everything I listed was indeed manifested when I entered the void, as outlined in my story. I've had some successes with various experiments before, but none reached the level of my most recent attempt.

What was the most crucial factor in achieving the final breakthrough?

I wish there was a straightforward answer, but it probably boils down to the realization that no matter how much I complained or cried, I was determined not to give up. I would read success stories and find myself in tears because they mirrored the life I aspired to have. I wanted to shift realities, be wealthy, happy, and beautiful—it might sound vain, but that's what I desired. I longed to feel free, unbound by any world, and to pursue my own path. Who wouldn't want that? At some point, I asked myself, would I still be trying to shift at 30, while struggling with dietary issues caused by gut praxis disorder? If the answer was yes, what did that mean? It meant I wasn't going to give up. So, I kept trying different things, knowing that eventually, something would work. Inner work is essential, but I believe it's inevitable. The longest journey I've seen took seven years. Do I want that for myself? Absolutely not, but what if it happens? The very acceptance of that possibility means you're not giving up, so what does it matter?

What method did you use?

As I've mentioned, I've tried every method. The final one that worked was the morphic field. I don't really care whether it was the morphic fields or something else that clicked within me. As I mentioned earlier, I realized I was sad, but I knew I wasn't going to give up, so I let myself be sad. Who cares? Let me be angry; I'm still not giving up. So, why fight those feelings? I cared and was disappointed and scared, but I just decided to trust in the fields because, in the end, it didn't matter whether they worked or not. I wasn't giving up.

How do you feel now that you've achieved your dream life?

I've managed to transform my life and self-concept, and along with being incredibly happy, I feel a mix of sadness for everything I endured and pride for how I pushed myself before succeeding. Initially, I thought it would be hypocritical to say I love myself after I changed everything about myself, looks and life, but I realized this is my life, and I'm still the same person, just with desires that now align with my reality. Why would I want to be unhappy in a life that makes no sense to be sad in? I don't believe anyone deserves or doesn't deserve anything. Do what you want, pursue inner work if you wish, or just manifest your desires. Personally, I didn't feel the need to do the inner work after manifesting my dream life, but I know some people do, and that's beautiful too. Life is just beautiful.

How to mend your relationship with the void?

The only advice I can offer from my experience is to acknowledge that you're not giving up on it. It reminds me of toxic relationships where despite infidelity, they say, "I know where home is." Unlike those misguided people, the void genuinely serves its purpose and supports you. It already knows its home is with you, whether you realize it or not, and that's all that matters.

How did you exit the void state ?

Exiting the void was a simple experience for me. I simply took a deep, calming breath and set a clear intention to leave. The sensation that followed was like tunnel vision, where everything around me seemed to narrow and focus. This was followed by a profound sense of detachment from any sense of self, almost like becoming weightless or losing a sense of individual identity. When I finally opened my eyes, I found myself in a completely new room, confirming that I had successfully transitioned out of the void and back to reality with everything on my life

Did everything you wanted come true?

Oh, absolutely—and then some! I ended up getting things I didn't even know I wanted. The way I look now is even better than my Pinterest boards ever dreamed of. Like, I had this idea for how I wanted my room to look, trying to mash together different vibes and aesthetics, and it turned out way better than I could have pictured. I was stuck between wanting a curvy figure and that sleek Bella Hadid look, but somehow I got the best of both worlds, which is exactly what I was hoping for.

I wasn’t even thinking about changing my eye color, but it happened, and I absolutely love it. I thought I'd revise old friends, but instead, I found new, amazing people who fit into my life perfectly. Now that I’ve got a better sense of self, I see this is exactly what I really wanted deep down. Everything just fell into place so perfectly, and it feels like I've finally got a handle on what I truly wanted all along.

Can you manifest things for other people?

Well, yeah, but it’s kind of like it's really just about yourself in a way. I mean, there have been times when I managed to manifest things for my brother, but oddly enough, I struggled to do the same for myself. It's weird, right? I don't fully understand how manifestation works in every detail. I just kind of go with the flow and assume it works the way I want it to. If I can pull off all these manifestations, then why not just trust that I can manifest whatever I want, however I want it? That's the mindset I've adopted, and it seems to work for me.

What's it like being a master shifter?

It's like waking up and remembering who you truly are, and almost laughing at all the suffering you experienced. When you think about it, you might have lowkey created that suffering yourself, which is kind of sadistic, but instead of holding onto any negative emotions about the journey, I just appreciate my life more. It’s a mix of joy and bliss. I still remember my old life, sure, but somehow, this new reality feels just right. It's like destiny exists, and I’ve finally found mine.

This concludes everything for me, and I’ve decided I won't be continuing my blog any longer. I've shared a lot of helpful insights in the past, but I won't be actively posting from now on. Thank you all for the love and support. I’ve reached a point where I no longer have a reason to continue here, and soon, you won't either. Goodbye and take care!

[kurokawaia]

DAY TWENTY THREE - BABY TRAPPING 彡 Aizen Sosuke

WARNINGS :: x fem reader, afab, yandere, coercion, manipulation, baby trapping, no protection, missionary, fingering, cervix kissing, NC cumming inside, + more

| WC :: 2.8k+ | MDNI | 18+ | kinkmas m.list

You knew about Aizen, what he wanted to achieve-you were the only person he had told apart from three others. You were going to go ahead and help him make this dream a reality. To be in the company of Aizen was to be with a God-the level of control he had, it scared you, couldn't tell if you felt safe too. He's always there to protect you, keeps you hidden away so you can't get hurt. Still, something has always been a bit off about him; you noticed it, how his eyes would follow your every move, every breath. It started innocently enough with Aizen as a perfect gentleman, never forcing and yet giving you just enough space to feel independent. Subtle changes began to happen over time. "Are you going out again?" Aizen's voice came out soft, he is masking his disapproval, he's waiting for the right moment to force you to stay with him. You lifted your gaze from the mirror in front of you and finished styling out your hair. "Just for a little while. Soon I will be back." His eyes stayed on you a moment, his smile false as he stared at you. "I worry about you," he said, moving in behind you and setting his hands on your shoulders before trailing off down to your hands. "The world is a dangerous place, and I'm not always going to be here to protect you. You're only a healer, you can't do much, my love." Comforting, even, his words were sweet. You think. A lump, tense feeling began to grow in your stomach but you laughed it off, brushing his hands with a soft touch. "I'll be fine, Sosuke! I can take care of myself." But the seed had been sown. Over weeks, he came further into your life, and what you used to decide for yourself would, it seemed henceforth, have first to pass through him. And he keeps reminding you so often with a soft chuckle that he wants nothing but the best for you. "You know, you need to take more rest," Aizen said to you one night while doing reports. He leaned over you with his hand tucked in the back of your nemaki, drawing circles, almost to sooth you. "All this stress isn't good for your health." You faltered, words caught in your throat. "I need to finish this." "You don't," he returned smoothly. His fingers closed over your shoulder, tightening just a fraction. "What you need is to unwind. I don't like seeing you overexerting yourself." Before he could object further, he leaned forward and rolled the scroll shut before taking it in his hands. "I'll take care of everything," he whispered. "Just trust me." At first, it was very easy to confuse his overprotectiveness with care. He was attentive, loving in his own peculiar way. Before long, the control started to become more evident with each passing day. 

He never raised his voice nor did he yell. He didn't have to. His words had been enough to lead you to wherever he wanted you to go. And they were so gradual besides, too slight, almost imperceptible. He started taking you away from your friends, from your captain, your lieutenant, subtly making you feel they were not people you should trust. "They don't understand you the way I do," he'd say stroking your hair as you lay in his arms. "They'll only hold you back." And when you fell, he'd lift your chin so it faced his eyes, the skin of your forehead grazing his lips in a feather-soft touch. "I only want what's best for you." You had begun to lean on him, questioning your choices, and if indeed you really knew what was best for you. Then you went to Aizen to see if it was okay-the things you were doing. Aizen had this way of speaking, as though he was the only one who knew you. Lying beside him in bed, as night fell, you said what was pent up inside your mind, "Aizen, am I the only one who thinks this all went a bit too fast? I feel like... I'm losing myself." His response was immediate. "You aren't losing yourself, my love, you're finding who you're really supposed to be. With me, you don't have to worry about a thing. Always, I will take care of you," he says with a softness, but his words are like honey. Still, with those words somehow, it sent shivers down your spine. That was when the future conversations started, light at first, talks about what life could be if you stayed together. A house, peaceful life, children. "You'd make a great mother," he said one afternoon as his eyes latched onto yours. "Can't you imagine building a life with me?" Your heart had skipped a beat, but there was a growing discomfort. "Perhaps someday, but I don't know if I'm ready for that as yet." Aizen didn't press the issue then, but the subject kept coming up. He'd casually touch your belly, remark on how ideal it would be to have a family, how complete your bond would be if you were tied together in every possible way. "It's natural to be wary," Aizen told you one evening while you sat before the fireplace. His hand lay limply on your thigh, his thumb tracing soft patterns. "But do think about it. A child would only strengthen our love. We'd be forever bound." You laughed a little nervously and brushed the suggestion aside. "That's a big step, Aizen. I'm just not sure I'm ready." He smiled gently, his eyes concealing something, something that you don't notice. "You will see, in time, it is the best thing that can happen to us." You didn't know that in his mind, a decision was already made.

Aizen and you have had sex multiple times, so it isn't a rare occurrence for the two of you to have sex at least once a day, at the least, it would be once every two days. But, Aizen makes sure to leave you every night, making sure that you are so fucked out due to pleasure that you forget to notice particular things. 

Specifically, something that is about to happen tonight. 

Your arms are pinned above your head, as Aizen's fingers experimentally push past your slick folds, his fingers pressing past your clit, and a surge of pleasure courses through you, leaving you breathless and desperate for more.

 A moan left your mouth as your back arched to his touch. Your reaction made Aizen press down slightly more, and your legs squeezed around his waist, moans stringing out your mouth.

You felt his fingers slide down, and he found your seeping hols drenched with arousal. A finger slowly slid inside your heat, a whimper leaving your mouth. "Does this feel good?" Aizen asked, and you nodded frantically.

"F-Fuck... feels so good, Sosuke," you whimpered as he started to slowly pump in and out your soaked walls.

"Really?" He asked and you moaned as he inserted another finger into your walls.

Overwhelming, a perfect mix of pleasure and intensity, it leaves you unable to hold back your moans. You lean your lips against his shoulder, muffling those sounds that burst from deep inside you. His fingers delve deep inside your core, firing a flame that engulfs every thought. Every movement, every curl sends shockwaves of pleasure across your body.

You let go and surrender to his intoxicating rhythm of touches. The junction of his skilled fingers with the intensity of our connection cossets you closer to the edge and teetering on the precipice of release. It was just a pure moment of bliss, where time seemed to stand still, filled completely with an overwhelming pleasure that coursed through the veins.

With Aizen's fingers pumping in and out of your seeping hole relentlessly, there was a familiar tightness growing in your lower abdomen, and pleasure that had tightened inside your stomach. You wrap your shaking legs around him, trying to hold on to him as the pleasure overflows. Anticipation ripples your body, reacting to every single one of his touches and movements.

You chant his name into his neck as praises leave your mouth, your voice filled with desire and need. The tears welling in your eyes are not from pain but from the overwhelming pleasure that threatens to consume you whole.

At your pleading, sucks the skin around your neck once more, groaning against your neck, his voice husky with desire. His thumb starts pressing your clit with its fleshy pad, another layer added onto the sensations that are already so intense. The touch is electrifying, your back arches in response.

"Please, Sosuke," you sob. "I need to..."

"Let your body take over for you, you want this and I've got you," Aizen reassured, intertwining your mouths together, his mouth swallowing the moans that slipped out your mouth.

Waves of ecstasy wash over you, leaving your legs trembling and weak from the intensity of the sensations. He slips his fingers from your hole and you continue to tremble from the aftermath of the orgasm. You managed to release myself from Aizen's neck and move away from his hold.

"Feeling alright?" Aizen asks cupping my cheeks.

"...yeah..." you breath out slowly while looking into his eyes. Aizen makes you feel so good, all the time, always focusing n your own pleasure, it's like he's trying to win you over for something, to distract you from something-

"There is more coming," Aizen said slowly, his brown eyes piercing into your own and they widened.

"More?" you tease, "What possibly could you give me more of?"

"So much, my love," Aizen hums. "Just let yourself loose, don't focus on anything, just on the pleasure I will give."

He delicately bites the shell of your ear making you let out a quiet whimper. you could feel him smile against your ear at your reaction. Aizen's touch caused you to dig your nails slightly into his chest leaving light crescent marks causing more deep exhales of breaths to get caught in your ear.

Aizen moved his head and his body suddenly firmly pressed against yours and you whimpered at the feeling of his dick pressing up agasint your stomach. His lips mingled with yours his minty taste and smell overflowed your senses making it a complete euphoria for you. you cupped the back of his neck to create a deeper angle for him to go explore deeper into your mouth with our tongues continuing to entangle with each other.

Aizen groans into your mouth, the hand that was trailing down your thigh moved swiftly back to your waist and the other intertwined with your hair at the base of your neck, pulling you closer to him. you let out breathy sighs into him as your own hand interlaced with his chocolte and your other wrapped around behind his neck.

His other hand moved its way down to tightly lift your thigh up which made his body mould closer to mine making you feel his dick press up against your soaked core. The kiss slows down and turns soft and almost desperate it's as if he wants to take his time with you, savouring every inch of your taste, to take his sweet time to memorise you.

"Look at you," he teases. "Trembling under my touch."

Aizen pants against your lips and you didn't have time to reply as he pressed them against you once more. "Please," I whimper out.

"Hmm?"

"I want you...." you mumble. "Stop teasing me."

Aizen kissing your forehead like you were a child who listened to their parent. "Good girl."

He presses his lips against mine to take your mind off. you feel a hard tip get lubricated at your entrance making your back arch into him as you let out a strangled moan of pleasure into his mouth. He continues to push further into you making your eyebrows furrow together in pain but the pleasure is still overwhelming your senses making tears prick at your eyes.

"Oh, you feel so good," Aizen whimpers into your neck. "You're so perfect."

You moan. The feeling of pure ecstasy of him fully entered you, the pain gone.

You feel his dick scraping across your plush walls in all the right places as he slowly exited your cunt, but not fully. Your moans and whimpers get swallowed by each other. you feel his thrusts speed up and you moan in response, your walls clenching around him causing the grip Aizen held on your thigh and waist to tighten.

The coil in your stomach getting tighter and your moans slightly became higher. Aizen continued to groan into your neck after he pulled away from the heated kiss.

"You make- me feel so goo- d," you say moaning throughout your sentence, "Feels so good-" you felt the coil in your stomach snap as your back arched painfully into Aizen's bare chest causing Aizen to groan and his arms moved to wrap tightly around you.

You arched your back heavily, able at last to sink further into his embrace. Aizen leaned over, drawing you near to him and initiating a messy, moist kiss, pushing his tongue into your mouth, letting out grunts as he absorbed your sounds of pleasure. 

Effectively distracting you as he cums half in your cunt and the rest all over your stomach. He mimics that he's pulled out when in reality, he's got you filled with his seed, ready for you to bare his child.

-------------------------------------------------

 Aizen watched you from his chair.. "You're shaking, dear. What's going through your mind?" His voice was smooth, treacherous in a way that completely made it impossible for you to feel anything but relaxed and on edge all at once.

"I-I just don't understand...," you stammered, your hand falling to rest on your stomach, that for the last couple of weeks had started to show the signs of the life growing inside you. "How could this have happened? We were careful..."

Aizen chuckled low in his throat. "Oh, my love. Did you truly think I would leave something so important to chance? This was always a part of the plan."

You froze, your mind racing. "Wha... what do you mean?"

He stood, moving towards you with the grace of a predator stalking his prey. His hand cupped your cheek as he leaned down to whisper in your ear, "I made it happen. I want you bound to me in every way possible. You're mine now-mind, body, and soul."

It swept over you, you realise everything now. Every sweet word, every tender touch, was all an act to trap you. And in one swell, tears began to well within your eyes, but a gentle smiling Aizen wiped them away.

"There is no reason to cry, dear, this is for the best. Now you shall never leave me. You shall carry my child, and we will be bound together, forever." His lips pressed against your forehead. Your breath hitched as his hand slipped into your stomach. How had you not seen this all along? All those nights he had held you close, whispering sweet promises to your ear-all part of his carefully designed trap. He straightened, watching your. "You're too precious to let slip away. You see that, don't you?" His fingers brushed your skin. "You planned this," I whispered, more for my benefit than his. "You wanted this all along..."

Aizen smiled. "Of course. You really didn't think I'd leave a thing like that to chance, did you? I have always had a vision for us-a future wherein you would be mine-completely." You took another step backward, feeling the beating of your heart within your chest, but there was nowhere to go. "What if I don't want it?" you whispered almost soundlessly. "You are emotional now. Understandably so. But time will let you see this as precisely what you need." His voice was coaxing, speaking as he would to a frightened child. You shook your head, fighting down the panic rising into your throat. "I don't want to be trapped like this, Aizen. You can't just take away my choices." Aizen's hand rose to your chin, the pad of his thumb tipping your face upwards, forcing you to meet his gaze. "Oh my love, I have not taken anything from you. I've simply... ensured that we shall never again be parted. Is it not what you wanted, deep down?" "I... I don't know," you said, voice shaking. "Shhh," Aizen cooed, pressing a strand of hair behind your ear. "You are overwhelmed now. But in time, you shall see: our child will bind us together, and you shall understand that was the only way. You shall thank me for protecting our future. "Why?" one finally asked, barely above a whisper. "Why go to such an extent? Aizen's smile pulled taut over his lips, never quite reaching his eyes. "Because I love you. And when I love someone, I make sure they can never leave me." Aizen leaned down until his lips brushed against your ear. "There's no escape, my dear. Not now, not ever."

Do not steal, copy, modify, translate or use for ai Reblogs only!

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[itertarot]

TAROT | YOU

Tips for getting into your body goal

Choose a pic

Pile 1:

First of all, you need to start your journey. Stop postponing your process. Stop waiting for the "perfect" moment, for the motivation to magically appear, or for everything to align. What you need most right now is simply to take that first step. And more importantly, you need to learn the power of discipline. Motivation may come and go, but discipline is what will carry you forward when your energy runs low. Understand this: the results you’re dreaming of won’t happen overnight, they’re long-term, and that’s perfectly okay. Real transformation takes time and guess what? Time is going to pass anyway. Whether you start today or not, the days, weeks, and months will still move forward. The only difference is whether you'll arrive in 2026 with the body and lifestyle you've always wanted, or with the regret of not having started sooner. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be consistent. Every small step matters. Every healthy choice, every workout, every moment you choose progress over comfort brings you closer. So take the leap. Begin now, not tomorrow, not next week. Now. Your future self will thank you endlessly.

Pile 2:

You need to focus on healing your emotional self. This is for the version of you that tends to indulge as a way to cope with emotional pain, the part of you that eats, drinks, or turns to unhealthy habits to numb what you’re truly feeling inside. It’s important to understand that you are capable of reaching your goals. You can achieve the body, health, and peace you dream of. But it starts on the inside. Your physical reality is a reflection of your emotional state. If your soul is wounded, your habits will mirror that pain. That’s why it’s so important to treat your healing as a whole: mind, body, and spirit. You don’t need to punish yourself to make progress. Be careful with extremes. Don’t try to dive into a restrictive diet or push yourself through an intense fitness routine all at once. That kind of all-or-nothing mindset will only feed the cycle of burnout and self-sabotage. You don’t need to be perfect, you need to be gentle with yourself. Start slow. Take one step at a time. Learn to listen to your emotional needs. When you nurture your heart, your body will follow. This journey is not about control. It’s about healing. And if it is possible, you will benefit from therapy.

Pile 3:

You know you’re capable. Deep down, you already feel the strength and potential inside you. The results you want will come, not instantly, but over the medium to long term time. And that’s okay, because you have what it takes: discipline. Now it’s time to align your actions with your goals. Take the time to learn more about your body type and the most effective ways to reach the shape you desire. Research, ask questions, and stay curious. Knowledge will empower you. Then, turn that knowledge into action: move your body, stay consistent with your workouts, and nourish yourself with purpose. The fruits of your efforts will come, and when they do, it’ll be worth every bit of patience and persistence.

Pile 4:

My number 4, you need to fight for the body you want. Yes, the journey may be tough, and yes, there will be days when giving up feels easier. But trust me when I say: the destination will be worth it. Every drop of effort, every moment of discipline, every time you choose to keep going, it will all be worth it. So please, keep trying. You are capable of achieving incredible things. However, dear number 4, this is also a reminder to find balance between the body you want and the body you can realistically and healthily achieve. Your goals are valid, but they need to be grounded in self-respect and self-awareness. Your body has its own unique structure, its own rhythm and honoring that is a powerful form of self-love. Focus on a well-balanced diet, rich in both micronutrients and macronutrients, because health isn’t just about looks, it’s about feeling good, strong, and energized. And if you’re going to exercise, choose movements that support your body’s needs. Go for light exercises that promote flexibility and mobility, such as stretching, yoga, or Pilates. These forms of movement not only shape your body gently but also help calm the mind and reduce stress. Good luck and nurture yourself.

[bramblebeau]

Alright I told myself I wouldn't interact with fandom when s2 came out, and I haven't and don't plan to except to say this about people deciding Caitlyn is the Worst or that the writing is OOC.

As someone who has had a family member violently killed, I cannot stress how much it shakes up everything you thought you were and stood for. My beliefs in proportionate compassionate justice and the rights of all human beings are some of the strongest I have (stronger now because of the way that experience affected me personally), but they were pushed to the absolute limit when it came to an individual who had killed my loved one, showed no remorse, and laughed in our faces outside court, among other things.

People generally like to believe it wouldn't be them or their peace-loving family members being talked down from seriously considering violent revenge, consequences be damned. People like to believe they wouldn't lash out at people closest to them under that pressure, that they wouldn't build walls around the kindest and most sensitive parts of themselves because those parts are the ones feeling pain you never thought possible, that they wouldn't stalk the killer, make notes on all their family and friends, and fuck up their hands punching walls in anger wishing so badly it was flesh and bone because they can't handle the fact that there's no way to turn back time to stop it all from happening. People like to think they're "better" than that. But the reality is messy and painful as hell.

With Caitlyn, she has the added guilt of having actually had the opportunity to stop Jinx before she fired the rocket, but she hesitated just long enough for it to result in the deaths of her mother and other councillors and in the cities being plunged into chaos. Not only that, but the person close to her she's lashing out at is the person who caused her to hesitate, and just so happens to be the sister of the killer.

Furthermore, her behaviour is entirely in character. We have seen her set up as someone who becomes obsessed with achieving a goal and will do pretty much anything she wants to get there. In S1, we agreed with her methods because her goal was exposing and taking down Silco, and because it led to Vi being released. In S2, she's doing a similar thing but it's fuelled by fear and a type of pain she doesn't know how to deal with, rather than being fuelled by a need to prove herself and solve a case, and it leads to her making morally questionable decisions and to hurting Vi. She admits herself, albeit privately to Vi, that she does not know what she's doing and doesn't know how to fill this hole in her chest (and the hole in the city leadership). She has been sheltered from the real world for almost all her life, and as a result she has no experience of functioning or making decisions under this kind of pressure. The real world blew up in her face in the worst way and she was given power and a loaded rifle, and then shoved into an even more elevated position by a very experienced warlord who is manipulating the shit out of the whole situation.

I'm not saying that you have free rein to hurt people when you're grieving and facing extreme stress. (If you think that's what I'm saying then idk I'm not sure there's much hope for you in terms of critical thinking skills). What I'm saying is that Caitlyn is exhibiting pretty normal human behaviour that most people would be susceptible to in those circumstances, not the behaviour of someone who is some kind of heartless abusive bastard.

TLDR: Caitlyn is being written in a way that completely makes sense and is also not OOC, and if someone told me there would be no chance of them reacting in similar ways I simply would not believe them.

[dailynnt]

FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE

⊹ Summary: Jungkook and you, his childhood friend, live together in an apartment, sharing space as roommates. Your relationship, built on years of friendship, is gradually becoming strained by growing sexual tension. You decide to become friends with benefits, trying not to complicate your feelings. But Jungkook's world is not so simple. When you begin to realize that he is hiding something, you open the veil of his double life - a world of mafia, criminal activity, and risk that could ruin not only your deal, but everything you valued in each other.

⊹ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader

⊹ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.

⊹ 🔞 Age restrictions: 18+

⊹ 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤

⊹ 📘 Number of part: 2/30

⊹ 🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words. Tags will be added as the story is written.

⊹ 👩🏼‍💻 From the author: I can't believe I wrote the second part. I am so happy with how it turned out. I hope you will also enjoy it and look forward to the sequel. I will try to write it as soon as possible. I tried to create tension between Y/N and Jungkook. In part three, you'll find something very hot, so stay tuned for part three. Thanks to everyone who liked my story, I will do my best for you.

⊹ ⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!

≣ Chapter Index ↓

Part 2. In theory

Today was a day off. Sunday. The one and only day when you could devote it entirely to yourself and not to your studies. Even though exams were about to start before the New Year holidays, you still recognized that you needed to rest, otherwise you might go crazy. This day could have started better if not for the morning's fight with Jungkook. And that's why you feel uncomfortable. You seem to have resolved everything and he has apologized, but there is some unpleasant residue. The emotions that you've been holding in for so long have left behind this very residue.

It wasn't just the quarrel you had this morning that made you feel uncomfortable. Jungkook. That's who was really making you feel as if you were detached from reality. His "question" about your love life kept repeating in your head.

Why did he suddenly want to know? Did you behave in such a way that he wanted to ask you about it? You had conversations on this topic, but it turned out that most often it was when you got together with a large group of your friends. One of them would start, and the evening would turn into a discussion of sexual achievements. Not infrequently, when you were drinking with Jungkook, he would also start such conversations, but you tried to avoid them.

But the truth is this. You only want to know one thing: why did he want to know if you had sex? What business is it of his?

You beat your fists on the bed. This question was tearing at your brain. Why are you lying here thinking about this? Don't you have anything better to do?!

You heard the sound of the combination lock. Jungkook had returned from the store. Your heart beat faster and felt like stomach was being stirred with a spoon. You sat on the bed and stared at the front door of your bedroom.

You need to calm down. You need to act normal. This is Jungkook, your best friend. You've known him for so long, so why would you have any problems with him now? You stood up and clenched your fists. "I'm going to make it through this. Nothing strange has happened. I'll treat my friend like I always do!" You straightened your hoodie, pulled up the sweatpants you loved to wear at home, and confidently opened the door to the living room.

Jungkook was on the doorstep, taking off his shoes. His black jacket was already hanging on the nightstand at the entrance. Two large bags of groceries were standing next to him. Noticing the white containers, you concluded that he had bought ready-made food. That's why he was gone for so long.

Your best friend noticed you. When your eyes met, you felt a twinge inside. And you literally lost to yourself. Your heart started pounding again, and your breathing became rapid, but you tried to hold on. In a split second, you ran your eyes over his figure, and you liked what you saw in front of you very much. Jungkook was dressed in all black. He liked to dress like that, 90% of his wardrobe was black. The other 10% were white clothes. For some reason, he did not wear colored clothes. The black Calvin Klein hoodie fit him perfectly. His pants were the same color with many pockets. His hair was slightly disheveled, probably because he was wearing a hood.

Jungkook picked up the bags and smiled broadly. "I decided it would take too long to cook, and we were already hungry. So I bought some ready-to-eat food." - He rustled the bags. You smiled awkwardly. Mentally scolding yourself for acting like a fool, you walked towards Jungkook, who had already come to the table and started to open up the containers of food.

"You're such a smart boy for thinking of that, because I'm really hungry." - You said as you helped Jungkook take out and open the lunchboxes.

"But you had breakfast!" - Your friend protested. "You fried some eggs for yourself and didn't even leave me a piece!"

"Two eggs without anything is not breakfast. Consider it as if I didn't eat anything. And I didn't fry them for you because you thought deserve them?" - You jabbed your finger at him. Jungkook giggled.

"I really didn't deserve breakfast this morning. But to make it up to you, I bought something for you." - Jungkook said. You looked at him. He was taking something out of the bottom of the bag. And as soon as the craft rectangular box appeared, you squealed with happiness.

"Donuts!" - You squeaked. You had no idea that Jungkook would buy your favorite hazelnut and chocolate-filled donuts. You loved all the donuts in the world, but these were your favorite.

You threw your arms around Jungkook and hugged him. And you kept squealing with joy. Donuts were the only thing that made you feel good, and your friend knew it. So it couldn't have been better. Jungkook hugged you around the waist with one arm, laughing, and tried to hold the box of dessert in the other.

"Thank you!" - You were still squeaking over Jungkook's ear. You probably would have hugged your friend for another 5 minutes and mocked his eardrums, but at that moment Jungkook's phone rang. You had to let him go. Handing you a box of donuts, your friend picked up the phone.

"Hello!" - Jungkook said. He went to the sink, and you continued to set the table.

You opened all the boxes and looked forward to finally having a good meal. Jungkook bought pork jangmyeon, kimchi, pickled radish, five packages of cooked rice (Jungkook eats a lot of rice for lunch), your favorite pulgogi, pocheeji (tofu stew), and stewed vegetables. You were almost salivating at the sight and smell of the food. You walked over to the chopstick stand and heard Jungkook talking.

"...Nothing special. I don't think I even asked her name." - You realized who Jungkook was talking about and with whom he was talking. It was Jimin, and conversation was about this morning girl who you had seen in the morning. You looked up at Jungkook. You had to nudge him to the side to get the chopsticks.

"I drunk but remember all. It was good, I don't think I'll call her again." - The irritation reappeared. But why would you care what Jungkook is talking about? But your mood disappeared easily. You were annoyed that he was talking with Jimin about the this morning girl. The image of her in your head made you think back to the fight, which made you feel uncomfortable. "How annoying... let him start telling him in detail about what they were doing there!" - You were angry. Why do he have to discuss it so loudly? You feel like you're eavesdropping, but he's talking so loudly that you have to be deaf not to hear.

You sat down at the table and started eating without waiting for Jungkook. Your movements were sudden and loud. Jungkook noticed that you started eating without him and smiled slyly. Your sudden, irritated movements could not escape his eyes.

"But you know what, Hyung? I haven't had a blowjob this good in a long time." - You spat out the pulgogi you had put in your mouth a moment before. You coughed, covering your mouth with your hand so that you couldn't be heard.

Jimin didn't know you were living with Jungkook, no one did. You were the one who asked don’t to tell anyone. You explained that you might be misunderstood, because everyone already suspected you were dating. But this did not happen. Even though you spent most of your time with Jungkook, it didn't mean that you were dating. You were just really good friends. Like soul mates. Although, considering the last three months, you were like sworn enemies.

Jungkook walked over to you and lightly patted you on the back while he continued to talk on the phone.

"I can give you her number if you want." - You heard your friend's voice somewhere above your head. He sounded like he was smiling. You wanted to strangle him. How can you say such things when a person is eating? You looked up at him. He was standing over you, smiling slyly. Jungkook was no longer pounding you, but stroking you. You beat his hand away and gestured that he was a fool and needed to end the conversation because the food goes cold.

"Anything. I was going to have lunch and bought some food." - A big sly smile graced Jungkook's lips. He sat down next to you and grabbed the metal chopsticks. Your eyes were completely focused on the lunch dishes, but with your peripheral vision you saw what your friend was doing. He was opening his portion of rice and still listening to what Jimin was saying to him.

"Tonight? I'm free..." - Jungkook answered. You looked up at him with anger eyes and encounter with two black buttons. "Ahh, I mean I'm free, but I promised Y/N I'd eat samgyopsal with her. We haven't seen each other for a long time, and she's going crazy because of the exams..." - Your friend made up a lie on the spot. You raised one eyebrow in surprise and question. Would he really refuse to meet Jimin? You love Jimin, he's also your friend, but whenever Jungkook is "free in the evening" like this and Jimin calls him, it always ends the same way. Jungkook is either gone for a day or he brings someone home. Jungkook probably feels guilty and, taking into account his words about following the rules, decided to lie. The guy sitting next to him nodded his head with a sweet look on his face, confirming to you that he wasn't going anywhere with Jimin. You lost interest and went back to your plate.

"If you want to join us, I won't mind. After all, we've been wanting to eat samgyopsal with you for a long time. But you need to text Y/N. She needs to know you're coming too. She's been very nervous lately." - You heard that irritating smart guy. His side was instantly hurt by your punch.

"I'm not a nervous, fool!" - You said with one lip. Jungkook could hardly contain his laughter. He talked to Jimin for another minute and finally said goodbye. You didn't say anything, although at first you thought about killing Jungkook as soon as he hung up, but you changed your mind. It's better to restrain yourself. God, why are you so angry with this guy lately? Has he really always had such a big mouth?

The only sound in the kitchen was the sound of metal chopsticks hitting a plate. When Jungkook finished talking on the phone, several minutes had passed. And all this time you were eating in silence. Each of you was thinking about something different. For example, you were wondering why Jungkook hadn't spoken to you yet. Why he didn't ask you if you liked the food, or why you were angry, or if you wanted to go to a restaurant tonight and have samgyopsal with Jimin. God, what's wrong with you? You're ready to go off like a bomb. How soon is your period due? Maybe you're so angry because your period is coming up.

"How's the food, baby?" - Jungkook finally broke the silence. You took your time answering. He surprises you sometimes. How he knows what you want him to do. He almost always does exactly what you think. You've known him for so long that you can just guess what he's going to do?

"It's good." - You said, finishing the radish. You tried to keep your tone calm, but it came out too dry. Jungkook smiled, surprisingly. You heard him sigh.

"You wanted to eat samgyopsal, so I thought we'd go to a restaurant not far from here tonight. That's why I made up this story for Jimin..." - Your friend said. But to you, it sounded like an excuse. He said it after you gave him a look full of lightning.

"Really? For some reason, I thought that when you told Jimin you were free, you wanted to continue yesterday's fun!" - You said in a sarcastically sweet voice.

"No, I didn't. I really wanted to invite you to eat out." - Jungkook said seriously. "But if you don't want to..."

"I do. I need a drink." - You said, getting up from the table.

"You've already eaten?" - Jungkook was surprised. You grabbed a box of donuts to eat alone in your room. Jungkook had bought them for you and you didn't want to share them.

"Yeah, you talked on the phone too long. I'm already full. What time should we go?" - You asked.

"I don't know, what time do you get hungry?"

"Okay. I'll tell you when I'm hungry. Thanks for lunch." - You turned on your feet and walked toward your bedroom.

You spent almost the whole day in your room. After lunch, Jungkook went out without telling you when he would be back. You only knew he had left when the door slammed shut. Trying not to think about what business Jungkook could have gone on, you turned on a drama to distract yourself from the annoying thoughts of your friend and your constantly irritating attitude towards him. You didn't get to watch the drama properly. First, you got a call from Suyong, a friend from the university. Then you called your parents and talked to your mom on the phone for almost two hours. It had been a long time since you had talked to her for that long. Given your busy study schedule, conversations with your parents were usually late at night and it was literally to find out if you were okay.

After talking to your mom, you received a text message from Jimin inviting you and Taehyung to join you with Jungkook for grilled pork and soju tonight. You agreed, saying that you missed the guys and that you'd love to spend the evening with them. You really needed to dilute the company of Jungkook, who had been annoying you lately.

Finally, when you finished texting Jimin, you could devote yourself to watching a drama.

The drama turned out to be so interesting that you didn't notice how you watched 6 episodes at a time and it was getting dark outside. You felt very hungry, because your last meal was well past lunchtime.

You went out to the living room to look for Jungkook. He must have come back when you didn't hear him, but the light was off. You noticed that Jungkook's jacket, boots, and bike helmet were missing. It's so late, almost eight o'clock in the evening. Where could he be for so long? Maybe he was called to work because of something urgent?

You didn't know where Jungkook worked. The only thing you knew was that it had something to do with security. He was some kind of manager or something. You repeatedly tried to ask Jungkook where he worked, but he was skillful at avoiding answering.

You went back to your room to call your friend and tell him you were hungry. A few long rings and he picked up the phone.

"Hello!" - Jungkook said.

"Hello. Where are you?" - You asked.

"I went away for work. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I had an emergency." - Jungkook's voice was quiet in the background.

"Mmm. I'm already hungry." - You said. "You promised we'd go to a restaurant."

"Yeah. How long until you're ready?" - You heard Jungkook walk outside. The sound of the road and the wind reached your ear.

"Are you coming to pick me up?" - You asked hopefully.

"If you want." - Jungkook said gently. You didn't think for a second. You answered immediately.

"I want to. I'll be ready in about 30 minutes."

"I'll be there in exactly half an hour. I'll call Jimin and have him come too." - You heard the sound of Jungkook's bike engine.

"Taehyung will be here too." - You said as you went to the shower.

"Great. It'll be more fun!" - Said your friend. "I'll be there soon. Get ready." - You gave a short "Okay" and ran to take a shower.

After quick showers you washed face and put on light makeup. If it were just you and Jungkook, you wouldn't have done this. You're used to not wearing makeup around him. But Jimin and Taehyung are the kind of people who shouldn't see you without makeup. You can't really trust them. In December, you wore a warm beige sweatshirt and jeans to keep warm on motorcycle. It might have been warm in the restaurant, but you don't want to freeze to death while Jungkook is riding his bike. So a warm puffy jacket is perfect. You were just putting on your hat when Jungkook called. He told you that he was waiting for you.

You arrived at a restaurant that was a block away from your house. It was a cozy place that was always crowded. Jungkook parked his bike and you went inside together. To your surprise, Jimin and Taehyung were already there, grilling pork. When they saw you, they waved their hands energetically to invite you to the table.

"Hi guys!" - You greeted your friends, taking turns hugging them. Jungkook shook his hands and helped you undress. There was a hanger near each table. You sat down at the table and felt the smell of roasting meat warming your appetite to the max. Jungkook sat down next to you.

"How are you? Did you come together?" - Jimin spoke to you. You followed his movements and the way the pork was being cooked, fascinated.

"I picked up Y/N on the way to the restaurant." - Jungkook said as he stuffed his mouth with rice and kimchi. You decided to wait until the meat was ready and then start eating.

"Taehyung, pour me some soju." - You asked him gently, noticing the four bottles on the edge of the table. He smiled kindly and grabbed the bottle closest to him.

"Don't drink on an empty stomach. I'm not going to carry you home on my shoulders." - Jungkook said, still chewing on something. He waved his hand at the shot glass you were holding in your hand and you saw that his knuckles were knocked off. You abruptly put the stack down on the table before Taehyung could finish, causing some soju to spill onto the table. You turned to Jungkook, grabbing his injured arm.

"What happened to your hand?" - You asked with horror in your voice. Jimin and Taehyung looked at you, puzzled. Jungkook wanted to pull his hand out, but you were holding it tightly. Jungkook carefully hid his other hand.

"Hey, did you fight with someone? Let me see your left hand!" - You demanded. Jungkook used a little more force and this time pulled his arm out. You looked at your friend in displeasure. Jungkook looked at you, and then at his friends, who were also looking at him.

"It's nothing. I just fell off my bike." - Jungkook replied, ignoring his friends' looks and continuing to eat. Jimin and Taehyung lost interest as well, the former continuing to grill the meat and the latter starting to eat as well.

"How did you fall off the bike?" - You asked. Of course you didn't believe him. How can you fall so hard that you hurt your knuckles? Or is it possible?

"Simple, I didn't calculate the rise when I parked. I forgot to put on gloves, so I bruised my hands." - Your friend explained indifferently. You continued to look at the wounds on his hand with suspicion. Jimin had already finished grilling some of the meat and put it on your plate first, followed by the rest to everyone else . You didn't notice because you were too busy worrying about Jungkook. He continued to ignore you and stuff his stomach. You sniffled, went back to your plate, and started eating. Why do you care so much if he doesn't care? You hadn't seen Jimin and Taehyung in a long time, so you decided that you would pay more attention to those two and your wonderful dinner.

The friendly get-together was a great decision for you. Jimin and Taehyung were perfect for a casual conversation on a Sunday night. You had fun, delicious food, and warmth. For some reason, Jungkook, who was sitting next to you, hardly participated in your conversations. You found out that Jimin had been promoted last week, and Taehyung told you how he lost a bet with a friend in the military (Taehyung was in the military special forces) and had to do some hellish set of exercises. He also said what it was called, but you didn't remember because you were already a little drunk. What's the point of making excuses, even sober you couldn't remember the name of this exercises. You encouraged your friend, telling him that he would become even cooler and stronger than he was before after the bet. Taehyung almost went to kiss you for that compliment.

Sometimes, when you looked in Jungkook's direction, you noticed that he was constantly texting with someone. And a few times he even went to talk on the phone, although he lied about taking a smoke break. Jungkook did smoke. Although it didn't fit in with his lifestyle and sports, which he was obsessed with, but yes, he smoked. Once in a conversation, he shared that smoking helps him calm his nerves. Don’t good reason, if ask you. There are many other ways to calm your nerves. But if smoking is the only thing that helps Jungkook, what can you do?

In the afternoon, Jungkook was gone all day. He said he had an urgent call to work. Could his distant behavior have something to do with it?

Jungkook returned after another smoke break. When he sat down next to you, you caught the smell of cigarettes and his perfume. It wasn't a good combination, but you liked it. You turned your head to the black-haired guy who was your best friend and roommate. He picked up a shot of soju and drank it in one gulp without even a wince.

You were shocked when he suddenly started drinking after a while of sitting there. Although he didn't mean to at first. He was driving and it was logical. When you protested who would take you home, he said "taxi". You stopped worrying. It's not far anyway, you can walk at least.

Jimin and Taehyung left the table, one to go to the restroom and the other goes to order more appetizers and soju.

In a short moment, Jungkook drank another shot of alcohol. What caught your attention were his bruised knuckles. Some of them were just red, even blue, and the first three were bruised to the point of blood. This was evidenced by the healing wounds covered with a blood crust.

"They should have at least put band-aids on them or something." - Suddenly you said, drawing Jungkook's attention. He gave you a look.

"No need for that." - He smiled. You rolled your eyes.

"Of course, we're so cool. There can't be any infection or contamination at all. You fell on the road. Is asphalt ever sterile?" - You answered sarcastically.

Jungkook smiled, his smile seemed sly. He leaned in and whispered almost in your ear.

"You care about me that much?" - A wave of heat rushed through your body. Your alcohol-red cheeks flushed even more. Your heart started to race. That self-assured, sly smile on his handsome face again.

"Get over yourself, Jeon. I'm just saying the obvious. If you've hurd, you need to take care of yourself." - You said calmly. But if Jungkook could hear your heart beating so fast it could jump out of your chest, you were doomed to fail. Jungkook laughed again, confidently, still too close to you. How he loved this kind of talk. Teasing you was probably his favorite thing to do.

"I’d rather when someone cares about me." - Now it was your turn to laugh. That's what you did when he said. "When we get home, will you take care of me?" - Jungkook whispered in your ear. His breath was hot, and his whisper set your insides on fire. You couldn't give up so easily. He was teasing you and you knew it. This thing was that manner of his, probably the same way he traps the girls who fall into his bed. Ahhh that fox! But you rarely lost in such cases.

"You want me to take care of you, of course I could, but on a condition." - You joked. Jungkook raised his left eyebrow with interest, while playing with a lock of your hair.

"What condition?" - You heard his playful tone.

"You will do me good." - You answered. Jungkook froze, and the curl he was playing with slipped from his finger. "I win," you thought, laughing with difficulty.

Jungkook probably wanted to answer, but his friends came to the table at the same time.

"Just look at them!" - Taehyun said to Jimin with indignation. "And then they say they're not dating. They're openly flirting with each other!" - You straightened up sharply and tried to pull away from Jungkook. Your best friend also returned to his previous position, folding his arms on the table.

"Really. Perhaps you two confess to us at the end. Who is this hypocrisy for?" - Jimin said as he poured soju for everyone. You were outraged. Again, these talks about relationships. Especially from Jimin, who knows that Jungkook fucked another girl this night. If he was in a relationship with you, how could he do that?

"Hey guys, come on!" - You started to get angry. "We've discussed this topic a thousand times. We are not in a relationship. It's never going to happen." - You knocked over a stack of soju Jungkook waiting for anyone to respond. Jungkook looked at you, struck by how harshly you said it.

"Living with him is a nightmare, what kind of relationship you talking about?" - You blurted out. The table became quiet. Everyone was looking at you, trying to understand what you had just said. Jungkook tried to hold back his laughter. You were gave yourself away.

Panic filled your thoughts. But you had to act quickly, given the looks on Taehyung and Jimin's faces. You threw a quick glance at Jungkook, who was almost laughing.

"Do you live together?" - Taehyung asked, squinting his eyes.

"No." - You answered too quickly. "I mean, he's impossible to stand in life, we argue all the time, how would I date him?" - You justified yourself.

"We argue because you're always unhappy about something." - Jungkook suddenly spoke up. He sounded irritated.

"I'm unhappy about something?!" - You punched Jungkook in the ribs. "You're the one who's always acting like a piece of idiot!"

"Okay, okay, calm down." - Jimin tried to calm the two of you down. "Otherwise, people are all staring at us." - You turned away from Jungkook. This guy really annoys you.

"Let's talk about this specifically." - Taehyung began to think out loud. "You've been best friends for a long time. Ever since high school. You went to taekwondo school together. You spend a lot of time together. Have you ever thought about dating?"

"No!" - You and Jungkook said in unison.

"Well, don't you attract Jungkook’s appearance? He was very popular in school and college." - Jimin joined the conversation. You chewed your meat and answered indifferently.

"I know and I've never denied that Jungkook is handsome, but dealing with his character is a mission impossible." - You said. Jungkook started to complain again, exclaiming "what the hell is wrong with my character?!" as Jimin ordered him to be quiet and continued his interrogation.

"You mean you admit that you like him... Appearance!" - Your friend clarified.

"Well, yes. But I don't look at his looks..." - You said. "You know It's like when you eat chocolate every day and it gets tried and you just stop enjoying it, even though it tastes the same. Besides, I always had only one problem with those girls of his. And it continues to this day." - You finally finished. All three guys were puzzled.

"How about you. What do you think Jungkook? Do you like Y/N’s looks then?" - Taehyung asked. Jungkook clicked his tongue.

"What are you guys, matchmakers? Stop asking stupid questions."

"Hey, have you lost your mind? I answered so you answer too!" - You snapped, glaring at your friend.

"So you want to know if I like you, baby?" - Jungkook purred. He was amused that it was you who insisted on answering. You blushed. Him calling you "baby" in front of everyone didn't make it any easier for you.

"I swear, Jeon, I'm going to kill you tonight." - You were seriously angry. And for Jungkook, there was nothing more amusing than your expression right now. He took another drink, keeping the three of you waiting.

"Y/N is hot. And her looks are beautiful." - Jungkook finally said. Hearing those words about yourself is like a miracle. Jungkook really thinks you're hot? Oh my God, you were ready to fall apart. "But she's not my type. So we'll never really have anything with her." - It's like a bucket of cold water was dumped on you after his words. You froze, but there it was expected. Yes, you've always known it. You are not his type and he would never like you. So there's nothing to talk about. You were upset, but you couldn't show it. You faked a laugh to support Jungkook's words.

"You see, there's no way we're going to be able to date. I hope this is the end of the matter." - You said.

"Come on!" - Taehyung persisted. "If you were to live together in the same apartment, wouldn't anything happen between you?"

"Do you mean sex?" - Jungkook asked. You almost choked on the rice bun you were eating. Jimin jumped up to you and gently patted you on the back to save your life.

"Yes. In theory." - Taehyung asked with a sly smile.

"I don't know." - Jungkook shrugged. "In theory, it could happen if we lived together." - It was at that moment that you really thought you were going to die.

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[kaisaerinlover]

rin and sae itoshi

tw; incest, dark content

(every character is of age ofc, just clearing it up because i did refer to reader as ‘baby sister’)

rin and sae love their little sister, in their own ways. rin is more gentle with you, so soft with you, like he thinks you’re made of glass rather than being made with the same flesh as him. he thinks you’re too good to be anything like him. his sweet imouto. how could you ever be anything like him? he’s so disgusting. he doesn’t even know why he thinks and feels the way he does about you. he doesn’t know why he gets a hard on when you whine his name, he doesn’t know why he gets so mad when he comes home from practice to see you giggling at your phone to some other guys messages, he doesn’t know why he feels nothing towards anyone that isn’t you.

he doesn’t know why he has you trapped underneath him right now as he kisses your neck so sweetly, listening to your sweet whines. but he doesn’t care either when it feels so fucking right. “rin nii i l-love you ‘s much.” god your voice is so fucking cute, it drives him insane, he’s so disgusting for this he knows it. he wants to ruin you, make you as bad as he is. he’s so depraved, he’s your older brother and yet he treats you in this way, he’s so sick. but hey, that’s what happens when you lack supervision from your parents, your parents had only ever cared for rin and sae’s achievements anyway, you were the forgotten third child, and they were nurtured only a tiny amont more than you. you are the only other girl in rin and sae’s life. of course they act like this to you.

“love you so much ‘mouto, so fucking much” he captures your lips in a sweet embrace, and you think it’s normal. he knows it’s not. he feels bad sometimes, you’re so naive, too much for your own good, you wear your heart on your sleeve for your 2 older brothers and him and sae are so disgusting, always using it to their advantage. rin brushes the strands of hair that fell onto your face, staring into your eyes. you all share the same eyelashes, but he thinks you wear them best, big innocent eyes. you’re so pure, him and sae are so tainted. neither cares though, maybe someday you’ll realise they’re sick and leave, but they secretly hope not. he doesn’t even realise how long he is staring for until your voice snaps him out of it. “nii chan are you okay?” he looks down at you, thinking about it, is he ok? probably not. he answers your question with another kiss to the lips, he gnaws at your lips and forces his tongue down your throat, he wants to fucking devour you whole.

that’s how most nights you spend with rin are, your brother being so gentle to you one minute, then so rough the next. you know he’s just possessive, and rin is thankful you don’t think too much about it. there’s really nothing going on in your pretty little head, and he’s glad about that. he thinks you’re too sweet to know the reality of what him and sae do to you, and he’s right.

sae is a different story than rin, he’s so cold to you, chastises you for everything, insults you both. you’re just an annoying little sister, he doesn’t care about you at all. that’s what he tells himself anyway. sae is just so mean. rin wouldn’t do anything with you in anyway that isn’t gentle, unless he really lost himself, but sae simply doesn’t care. sae is more nonchalant than rin, he always was, he doesn’t care and he does things only for his pleasure and his comfort. he doesn’t care the way his baby sister’s knees hurt from kneeling on the wooden floor just to make sae feel good, he doesn’t care if you can’t take his cock, if it’s too big, he thinks you look cute crying anyway. he doesn’t care if you don’t like the taste, he’s nothing like rin at all. he doesn’t show much affection, not nicely anyway, and he’s not good with sweet words like rin.

to rin, sweet talking you is easy, when the three of you are together on the rare occasion, sae here’s all the sweet talk. when you are sitting in the middle of both brothers, sae’s hand gripping your leg in a death grip, rin is holding your hand sweetly, whispering sweet nothings to you, reminding you of how you’re always gonna be his cute baby sister, how he loves you so much, how you’re always gonna be the itoshi’s princess, the best girl in the world, no one can take you away from him, from them.

sae hates it, he’s worse at words than rin is, not even words, maybe he’s just worse at being nice to you. rin is good like that, rin is very gentle with you, sae is so rough. rin wants to ruin you in his own way, sae is just rough all around.

sometimes he wants to try, rin was awkward too at first, he misses when his younger brother was more awkward, couldn’t say anything without blushing, couldn’t even hear your name without getting flustered, maybe he could be like that too. rin improved a lot. but he can’t do that, it’s not new, rin and sae are in a secret competition for you, they both know neither will win, deep down, but they try anyway. you love them both the same, how could you not? it’s probably what they love the most about you, how kind hearted you are, so sweet and so pliant for the oldest brothers.

but sae can’t help but be a bit jealous sometimes, he knows you go to rin for comfort after he said something to upset you. after he was a bit too rough. and rin is equally as jealous of sae, jealous that you still go back to him, despite how cruel he can be to you.

sae is home for a month, so he isn’t surprised when you knock on the door to his room to come spend time with him. rin doesn’t do that anymore, but you still try. it’s endearing, but it gets annoying. he sighs “come in” and watches you walk in and sit down on his bed. he knows what you’re going to say, you’re going to say ‘welco-‘ “welcome home sae nii!!!! i missed you nii chan soo much, let’s spend time together again” wow, you beat even his mind to it, he couldn’t even think it before you said it. he can’t say no to you though, you look so cute and happy to see him, it’s not something he’s used to.

you always let him be as rough as he wishes, because you’re desperate for his attention, for his approval, the same desire rin has, but you go about it so differently. rin tries it through football, you just let him walk all over you. sae has you in that same position rin always has you in, but he’s so rough. he’s holding your hands above your head as you lay on his bed, his tongue is down your throat and you can’t even breathe. rin’s affection can be suffocating sometimes, but sae’s is quite literally suffocating. and he doesn’t care either, sae takes what he wants because you’re his sister.

he stops after some minutes, admiring the way you look, looking at the marks he left on your wrists from gripping them, looking at the drool running down your mouth. he wipes it with his thumb and puts it in your mouth. he’s so rough with you he knows, he doesn’t know why. he just wants to see his precious imouto ruined, it’s one thing him and rin have in common.

“s-sae-nii, too rough- ‘n more- don’t… can’t..-“ poor thing, you’re panting for air, he likes this look on you, so dishevelled and almost always tearing up. “sh, don’t be annoying” he chastises you. he knows he’s mean, and he’s surprised you always come back for more. he thinks you’re an angel, you love him even through his meanness. “nii-chan, love y-you” you whine at him. he knows you love him, he does love you too. he leans down and bites at your neck, hard enough to draw blood. “i know ‘mouto, sh now”

sae is rough, tonight he was extra rough, so he’s not surprised when he hears your sniffles from rin’s room again, can hear rin shushing you, not in the way he does it, he’s soothing you. he’s jealous, but you’ll be back again, just like you always are.

rin is gentle, he’s comforting you again, because of sae again, and he’s happy, he’s content, maybe if sae learned how to love you he might take you away. but he hasn’t learned yet, so for now he gets to have you. but he knows the cycle will repeat again. both of them know it.

neither of them will ever win, you’re too stupid to even realise they’re fighting over you. it’s for the best though, no little sister subjected to this should ever have any awareness of anything going on. thank god your parents raised none of you right. your brothers can agree on that. what would they do without being able to indulge in one of life’s greatest pleasures, their little sister?

[hurtblossom]

You belong with me L.N.4

Pairing : Lando Norris x Driver!Reader (Female)

Summary : Driver reader is in love with little Lando Norris, but he is too oblivious to notice ?

Warning : ANGST + Insecure reader + Terrible english (feel free to correct me) + Relatively short. Use of she/her pronounce

INSPIRED BY THE SONG YOU BELONG WITH ME, BY TAYLOR SWIFT

Materlist

You've always had a soft spot for Lando Norris, from the moment you first saw him at one karting race, when you were just kids. You grew up together, along with other drivers, so you were on the first line to see the little boy you once knew, turn into one hell of a man. But it wasn't his beauty that caught your attention. It was rather how mature he was at such a young age, how he was shy around all the other boys during karting, or how he always managed to have a good heart.  

You'll always remember the day you met him; it was during your first ever karting competition. You've waited for this moment a long time, and trained hard, with your father's help, to achieve your goals. Unfortunately, nothing went as planned, and you ended up being covered in mud, and disqualified, due to someone pushing you off the track (it was just an inchident, on the race).

You'll always remember that little boy, coming towards you and sitting next to you, telling you how much of a great racer you are, and how you should beat yourself up over one loss. When you turned to look at him, the only thing you could see was his smile.

He raised one hand, which made you flinch a little, and he carefully brought it to your face, whipping the tears. That was the first ever memory you had of Lando Norris, and ever since then, you've been growing a crush on him, to which he had been oblivious.  

Back to the story ...  

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset  She's going off about something that you said  Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do 

You've been a driver for McLaren for a little less than 3 months now, they were kind enough to give you a chance, as the first female, racing in Formula 1, against men.  

You often saw Lando, on his phone, texting away, or just talking on the phone with someone. You didn't want to pry or to be weird by asking questions. You were only his teammate after all, so you just watched him, from afar.

You noticed that he always seemed to be upset when on the phone, always huffing and arguing with the person on the other side of it. You could hear small bits of the conversation, something about him being rude or whatever.  

"You should stop staring, it's becoming quite obvious." Max said, sitting beside you.  

"I don't know what you're talking about." You said, burying your eyes on your phone.  

"I'm serious Y/n/n, it's been years, when are you going to give up?" He asked.  

" Again, I don't know what you're talking about." You replied, sitting up. "Now, if you don't mind, I have places to be "  

"The sooner you'll get over it, the better. " Yelled Max, while watching you disappear.  

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts  She's Cheer Captain, and I'm on the bleachers  Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find  That what you're looking for has been here the whole time 

The first time you met Magui, Lando's girlfriend, you couldn't help but compare yourself with her. The way she dresses, how she talked, how she laughed, her posture. Everything she had, everything she was, you envied, because you were never that. Deep down, you wished to be like her, and even deeper than that, you wanted to know if Lando would even spare you a glance, if you looked just a little bit like Magui.  

McLaren was having a little brunch, where all the team was invited, including plus ones. You were all sitting around a table, talking about the previous races, laughing and just having a good time, all together. It was loud.

It was now that Lando cracked a joke, and everybody laughed that you realized that Magui wasn't really interested in what was happening, only focusing of her phone.

You looked back at Lando and saw the disappointment on his face. You made direct eye contact, and you smiled at him, waving slowly your hand, to which he did the same, you couldn't help but think that she really wasn't for him.

What you didn't see was Magui's face after that. And what you surely didn't know was that after that lunch, you were the topic of an argument between those two.  

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you  Been here all along, so why can't you see?  You belong with me 

The last GP left Lando in pieces, feeling like a disappointment, like he couldn't do anything right, win anything. During that last race, he ended up DNFing, while you were P3. Once out of the car, you were smiling, but it slowly faded away when you noticed your team's behavior.  

"What's happening?" You asked one of your coworkers after taking off your helmet.  

"Lando DNFed, and we can't find him anywhere." You've informed.  

Technically, you had to go straight to media, to talk about your race, but at that moment, your whole attention was focused on finding Lando.  

Walking around the paddock, you bumped into Magui, you didn't miss the dirty look she gave you.  

"Have you seen Lando?" You asked her.  

"Why are you looking for my boyfriend?" She asked in return. "Haven't you understood yet? He doesn't want you. Stop being so clingy with him, stop laughing at his stupid jokes, and stop looking at him all the damn time. " 

"What on earth are you talking about?" You asked, confused.  

" Don't act stupid. You know exactly what I'm talking about. He told me how much of a creep you are. Leave him alone. He's too nice to tell you that himself." She explained, getting angrier every time she pronounced a word.  

" He told you that?" You whispered.  

" That and many other things." She spoke. "Leave my boyfriend alone. Understood?"  

"Yeah. Alright. I will." You said, trying to get as far away as possible from that woman.  

"And for the recorded. He blames you for today." She finally said, before leaving.  

Tears were going down your face, as you continued to walk. That's when you saw him, sitting alone, far away from any cameras, his face buried in his hands. You dried your tears with the back of your hand, before joining him. You took a seat next to him, silently, not daring to look at him.  

"Don't beat yourself too much." You said, catching his attention. "It wasn't your fault; you did the best you could."  

"I failed, again." He said, looking straight forward.  

"You're a fantastic racer, Lando. One fail doesn't define you. You have many wins coming your way. I know it." You explained, looking at him.  

"How can you be so sure?" He asked 

" Because I know you." You simply said, smiling at him. "And I know you're going to do big things."  

At that moment, his face turned, and his eyes studied your face, his smiled disappeared, replaced by a frown.  

"Were you crying?" He asked, noticing the redness of your eyes.  

" Um, yeah." You whispered. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I wont bother you anymore Lando." 

"Bother me? What are you talking about?" He asked, confusion visible on his face, but you just couldn't deal with that now.  

"I have to go." You stood up quickly, making your way towards the paddock. Lando stood up quickly, calling after you, but you just didn't turn around. 

part 2 🩷

[11cupids-tarot11]

What has your future spouse been dreaming about lately?

For the divine feminine seeking the divine masculine •°. *࿐

1 -> 4

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Pile 1- The Chariot, Two of Swords, The Hanged Man

I'm getting the feeling your spouse really wants to make a move on you! He's dreaming about what it's like to be all in your space, he really wants to know what you're like. I was thinking at first that maybe he wants to spend time with you and know what it would be like to do mundane things with you like grocery shopping, but I think this guy is more curious than that. I think he wants to know just about you in general and what you like doing, he's the type to watch what you pick up and glance at during shopping just to get a feel of what you like. He wants to know your schedule, how your day went, he'll probably ask this a lot.

I feel like this person has a crush on you? He feels kinda stuck, like the hanged man lol. I'm not sure the circumstances or the dynamic of the relationship/how you'll come together but it surely feels like this person is very secretive with his thoughts of you, like he's very open telling me but he's scared to tell you? Like maybe this is someone you know of and you guys are friends and they're secretly crushing lol, that was very specific so it's okay if it doesn't resonate with everyone. This could also be a secret admirer for some.

But he's dreaming about changing something with you, planting roots and something stable. I'm not sure what the change will be, but I am seeing him thinking of different approaches to overcome whatever hardship is happening between you two, it could also be something on their end like maybe shadow work still needs to be done or they're still dealing with a karmic relationship of some sort.

It seems to me like they're sorting through everything, they might fantasize about things finally coming to an end and being able to start something with you. I know as soon as this is finished they're spreading towards you. I think they really just want you to know they're still coming? I got this rush feeling, like an adrenaline rush feeling? I think this person just wants you to know they're still clearing through some things! "Just hang in a little longer!" I'm hearing with a cute little smiley face ☺️. Your person is adorable! I think they love acts of service too!

I think if this were to be a 18+ reading they'd definitely tell you about all of the things they'd love to focus on your body and needs lol.

I have to make an 18+ version of this now 😂 stay tuned!

Don't forget to do the poll below! Talk again soon!!

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Pile 2- Six of Coins, Eight of Swords in reverse, The moon, Temperance, Ten of Cups.

Your person dreams about spoiling you, pampering you, taking you out on really fancy dates (plus showing you off 😵‍💫) just treating you like you are their everything. I hear it's because you are their everything! They adore you so much!

This person talks a lot too and wanted to pull extra cards when I usually only do a three card pull spread lol.

This card makes me feel like your person kinda feels like a spider stuck in it's own web right now, they're really in their head :( I getting your person has a negative mindset? For some of you it could be specific as they feel like they're not on the same level as you whatever that might mean to them. They dream about cutting out of their web, I think for the benefit of the connection really but also for their piece of mind, yk?

Maybe this person feels like they have to achieve a certain amount of wealth before they come to you, which goes hand in hand what I was saying about really wanting to spoil you lol they want to save up a bunch so they can have a great future with you and for those of you who want children they also want to build a family for you so of course they want to save for this too.

They dream about having a steady home with you, I think they like to fantasize about your future a lot lol. They say it won't be perfect but it'll be the definition of love like a real family should be lol. They want a balance with you, they're also the type to be very balanced in a relationship, they'll balance work and you at the same time. I honestly get the vibe that's why they're working so hard right now, so they can spend the rest of their time with you more!

I think this person dreams about the day you two unite! With the ten of cups I feel they dream about a happy home with you a lot, but also a happy relationship. I can guarantee this relationship will be very fulfilling and healing and loving. Their energy feels so excited to meet you if you guys haven't already, a healthy and loving relationship could be something they've always wished for so this is a wish fulfillment for them, they can't wait to experience real love with you. 🩵 The color blue might be specific for a few of you?

Don't forget to do the poll below! Talk to you soon love :))

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Pile 3- Knight of Coins, Justice (clarification cards- Death, and Strength), Two of Wands, Seven of Cups (clarification cards- Ten of Cups), and King of Swords (clarification cards- Knight of Wands)

I needed so much clarification for this group xD

Every time I look at the ducks eyes they always look so full of administration, anyone else see it? It's adorable. I channeled right away your person will adore you like this picture so I chose it!

I heard they think about this every day straight away lol.

Your future spouse fantasizes about putting hard work into you, really showing up for you I'm feeling. Like I feel like it's deeper than a materialistic matter, I feel like he really wants to support you emotionally. He doesn't want to be your therapist or anything it's like he just wants to make sure you're okay, he really cares about your well being. A better way to put this is that they really want to show up as a man in your life, one that doesn't have a toxic sense of masculinity and really respects women and wants to understand your needs, wants and boundaries I'm hearing. He likes to solve your problems because your problems are his problems.

He's dreaming about justice in a situation, I'm going to pull clarification cards for the Justice card to help understand a bit better because I want to know possibly in what situation, I can't figure that out on my own I'm not hearing much channeling on this card. The clarification cards just are making me feel it's probably a too personal situation they don't want me to know about, but maybe when you meet this person you will know because it's making me feel like it's linked to you, he probably doesn't want you to understand much either right now but he says he's working hard on getting justice in a situation he really wants to come to an end soon, I think when it's over it'll bring a lot of happiness, a shift in energy, a really big change :) He wants you to encourage him to be strong as he encourages you, it's a very tough situation maybe? Heavy energy kind of just came through me, like a little random rush of sadness just thinking about the question so I will move on now :)

This person fantasizes about making everything perfect a lot in a way, he really likes to plan. You'll notice this about them right away lol. They probably have a hectic schedule right now I'm hearing. They're possibly planning on how to get to you? This feels like a soulmate connection, something that's just supposed to happen because it just makes so much sense because you two love each other and really care for one another. This is someone who you can spend the rest of your life with because they're confident you two are a perfect match. Very equal in the relationship which is why it would work perfectly I'm hearing. He's just doing a bunch of planning right now, lots of thinking things over and through.

He dreams about probably having a lot of money, a level of fame? Maybe he's a celebrity or wants to be, he could be very creative and expensive. He dreams a lot very dreamy they could have water in their chart, they do feel emotional. They're so cute 😭

This person dreams about picking a path and advancing in it basically, they really want to be the boss, be at the top of their game whatever career or field it might be. They want a lot of abundance! They fantasize about being given an opportunity to present themselves, show off maybe. They could be a really good singer/rapper or some kind of performer. They could play an instrument.

I feel like they really want to settle down with you for sure though, they want to offer you a lot as well so they work really hard to show up financially, they could've grown up in poverty I'm hearing a specific message for some of you so being financially stable is everything for them. They want you right by their side ;)

This person was kinda hard to read but I think that's cause how dreamy they felt, thoughts kinda bouncing around everywhere haha, so take this how it resonates with you!

Don't forget to do the poll below!! Talk to you soon!

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Pile 4- Seven of Coins, The Magician (clarification cards- Three of wands), Seven of Wands (clarification cards- Death and Queen of Swords)

This person wants to start off with the seven of wands first even though it was the last card to be pulled lol.

They want to maybe draw attention to dreaming about fighting for something? They are very protective and will stand their ground and fight for what's theirs. I can't really tell, so I'm going to ask for clarification ;) I don't know why but I feel like they want to sabotage a relationship between you and someone else? I feel like they fantasize about this a lot! I feel like your energy is the Queen of wands but you don't really see this person! This could be a clue your future spouse is someone you already know!

They dream about making you theirs lol stealing you away. 😋

So with that, they're also dreaming about the future with you! Working on their finances as well, but also thinking about what it would be like in the future with you. This person feels like they're confident they will have a future with you lol. Maybe they're not making a move right now because they want to build up their finances more for the long run with you, because when they do make a move on you they plan to commit deeply and I'm hearing they fell hard for you, and you possibly don't even know it 😵‍💫.

😭 🩷 you probably drive this person crazy lmao

He's probably manifesting you lol?

I asked for clarification for the magician as well and it just makes me think he's really brainstorming a lot right now? I think every pile had a lot of thinking in them but never really being too specific on what and I'm always left with so much quietness so I'm left in the dark😭

They're just really thinking a lot which makes me think it's only about you. They seem shy, they could be younger than you? They seem like they're too scared to tell you how they really feel. Could be scared of rejection? But they really do fantasize about you a lot! They think about you constantly and different ways to impress you, how to get your attention. They really want you my pile 4's and they're fighting hard hehe. They won't back down either!

They think you're very pretty, like the bunny in the picture 😻. Hehe cute.

They might call you princess a lot, or other cute little pet names. They feel very affectionate, they have a lot of love to give! This person isn't someone to be scared of, they do care about you! It's not all about lust, there's love here as well as admiration! They do adore you!

Don't forget to do the poll below!! Talk again soon love!!

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[theambitiouswoman]

I got what I wanted and I’m still not happy — why?

You finally found someone that checks off your list, the dream apartment, the designer bags, the business success, or the lifestyle you worked so hard for. And yet… something still feels off. You thought happiness would come once you checked all the boxes, but instead, there’s this emptiness, a feeling that something is missing

So, why does this happen? Why do we chase what we think will make us happy, only to feel unfulfilled once we have it?

Most of us are wired to believe that happiness is a destination. “Once I have X, I’ll finally feel good.” But happiness isn’t in the getting—it’s in the growing, the process. When you’re striving for something, you have purpose, momentum & excitement. But once you have it, what’s next? If you don’t have something deeper driving you, fulfillment can fade quickly

Shift your focus from external achievements to internal growth. Instead of asking, “What do I want next?” ask, “Who do I want to become?”

Society, social media & marketing have programmed us to believe that happiness comes from relationships, luxury, or financial success. While these things can enhance your life, they aren’t the foundation of happiness. “Oh money would make me so happy!” Wrong, peace of mind that comes with paying bills or being able to treat yourself would make you happy

A relationship won’t heal deep insecurity

Luxury won’t fill emotional emptiness

Success won’t erase loneliness

We see influencers flaunting their seemingly perfect lives, but what we don’t see is their private struggles. If happiness truly came from material things or relationships, wealthy & successful people wouldn’t battle depression or anxiety—but many do

Redefine what happiness means for you, outside of what society has told you. What actually makes you feel alive? What moments make you feel at peace?

A lot of people think finding the right person will complete them. But no relationship can fill the void of self abandonment. If you don’t feel worthy, secure, or whole on your own, even the best relationship will eventually trigger your insecurities

Maybe you’ve finally landed the relationship you always wanted, but instead of feeling safe, you find yourself anxious, overanalyzing everything, or feeling disconnected. That’s because relationships reflect what’s already inside of you—not what we want them to fix

Focus on becoming someone you love being with. If you had everything stripped away—no relationship, no luxury, no validation—who would you be? Would you still feel at peace?

Happiness addiction is real. We get a dopamine rush from achieving something new, but once the high fades, we need another “hit.” This is why people who seem to have it all keep striving for more—bigger houses, more money, more success. But if you’re constantly chasing, you never arrive

Learn to sit with stillness. If you never had another major success, could you still be content? Happiness isn’t about how much you have, but how much you appreciate what you have

You can have all the material success & relationships in the world, but if you’re disconnected from your deeper self—your purpose, your passions, your values—you’ll always feel a little lost. Sometimes, we chase what we think we want, only to realize it wasn’t truly aligned with our soul

Start asking yourself these questions:

What truly excites me outside of achievement?

Am I living for myself or for external validation?

If I lost everything tomorrow, what would still matter to me?

Getting everything you want and still feeling unfulfilled isn’t a sign that something is wrong with you—it’s a sign that happiness was never about the things you thought it was. Actual fulfillment comes from within, from living a life aligned with your values, nurturing deep connections & finding joy in the present, not just in the next goal

The real question isn’t why you’re not happy—it’s what truly makes you feel alive? And that’s the journey worth taking 🤍

[hexefreya]

I don't think that we appreciate Viktor's plan enough. It is my firm belief that not only did he want to erase Hexcore and himself from existence, but also do some good in the process.

It was established that Hexcore found a way to corrupt the very water, spreading like a disease and infecting the environment. What this means is that by simply killing Viktor Hexcore problem wouldn't be resolved as wild rune remains and will lead to catastrophic consequences in the long run. Only Viktor himself could defeat Hexcore by consciously making the choice to destroy it. And Jayce was the only one who could make this outcome happen - he very well knew about it and the power he had, armed with Viktor's own feelings.

So the question remains: why did Jayce wait till the very last possible moment to show Viktor the power of love? He didn't try to earnestly talk to him even once, and always looked like a person set on a mission throughout. He also seemed to know the outcome of some encounters beforehand.

For instance, when Viktor is entering Hex vault? Jayce isn't even trying to attack Viktor here or be on a defensive, as if confident Viktor would do nothing and just walk by.

And of course this scene, where Jayce kneels by his weapon and closes his eyes, resigned for what is about to happen.

It is my opinion that Jayce had a pretty good understanding of the future events and his role in it, which leads me to believe that the severe escalation of Viktor's evolution, leading to the final fight, was necessary.

I honestly feel like animators did an amazing job showing how incredibly hard it was for Jayce to straight up crush Viktor time and time again, especially when knew about Viktor's feelings and realised himself that those were reciprocated. Can you imagine the pain Jayce must have felt? Killing the person he loved, warping them into something monstrous and even then, at his worst, Viktor was anything but indifferent to Jayce, and him alone.

But if it weren't for Jayce shooting Viktor the first time, literally breaking his heart, Viktor wouldn't lose his faith in humanity (Jayce) and agree to move on with Singed's procedure. It was stated that his power was finite, so I would speculate that Jayce didn't even try to persuade Viktor because he knew that even if he succeeded either Savior Viktor didn't possess enough power to stop Hexcore, or it was straight impossible without Ekko's anomaly. Hexcore would remain in the world any other way, therefore it was necessary to trigger Viktor's evolution to the Machine Herald form.

It also explains why Jace yet again isn't trying to convince Viktor in the Council room encounter afterwards, despite having Viktor coming forward, wanting to talk and bearing news of the hostile intentions of the Noxian. This is interesting, because in my opinion the most significant detail here is Viktor's reluctance to "evolve" Jayce to the point he'd rather kill him. And we know that for the Mage Viktor's plan to work Jayce has to be connected to Hexcore. That's why there is no attempt at talking at this point. Even if Viktor were to concede this very second and destroy Hexcore, it would still leave completely disorganized Piltover and Zaun facing oppressing Noxian forces. It is only after Jayce rejects and "kills" him once again that Viktor lashes out and completes his evolution. And as a result, it gives a perfect common enemy to unite forces against, which finally brings Piltover and Zaun together.

We shouldn't forget how everything started, how Viktor shared Jayce's idealistic dream and passion to bring magic to people and improve lives. Sure, ironically they got caught in a paradoxical anomaly that was dooming the world instead.

"In the pursuit of great, we failed to do good".

Viktor had achieved the end of pursuit and regretted it. Eventually he came to terms with the fact he's the only one who can effectively destroy hexcore, consciously chosing to erase it and himself from existence. And I refuse to think he is anything but pedantic about it, the scientists that he is. He knows what exactly must transpire, and he has the hindsight of different timelines and possibilities to organize the best of possible outcomes, the one that maximizes good this time.

[totallynotpochacco]

Hi! This is abit more of a darker/triggering ask so if it makes you uncomfortable thats 100% ok and u can skip this! but i was wondering if you could write antonio (idv) comfort fic with a reader whos struggling with sh or trya recover from it Please! Have a good day/night! ♡

“The knife isn’t always the best option.”

Contains; Self harm; bullying, comfort, sensitive topics; Antonio; Naib; Norton; Alva; and Victor;

Alva's can be platonic or romantic.

Key; Anima mia=my soul

You were doing so well, but bottled up emotions shatter easily during stressful times. When your loving boyfriend realizes you’ve started again, he’s heartbroken yet nonetheless supportive.

Antonio

He would refuse to leave your side after it comes to light that you’re hurting yourself again.

He loves you a lot and losing you is out of the question.

Antonio knows exactly what to do in these situations, since I feel like he’s either gone through this before on his own or with someone else.

Antonio had you in his arms while sobbed on the floor. A discarded knife tinged red and a clear reminder of your failures.

“It’s alright, Anima mia. You’re not alone, and you’re not in trouble. I’ve got you, everything will be okay. This will pass.” He reassured you, making small circles on your back, and gently kissing your head.

His words only made you cry harder, you wanted to stop feeling guilty. You just wanted to stop letting him find you this way.

Maybe if weren’t such a disappointment you’d be able to do the simplest thing.

Antonio knew what was probably going through your head at that moment and smiled, “Do you know how proud I am of you? My love, you never fail to impress me. I look up to you in some aspects, and you give me a reason to wake up in the morning. It’s a feat very few can achieve. Let me take care of you for tonight at the very least, I’ll grab us dinner and run us a bath. How does that sound?”

You nodded and turned your head away from the blade that just seemed to taunt you. Instead opting for staring at his shirt in shame.

Naib

He keeps a close eye on you 24/7

You’re always being monitored, even if it’s extremely subtle or obvious.

You’re the main reason why he wakes up in the morning.

Naib refuses to lose you.

“Put.. Put the knife down,___” naib carefully inched towards you like you were a wounded animal. He didn’t want to startle you and make the situation worse.

The knife shook in your unsteady hands, as you fought to make a decision, but ultimately dropped it anyways. Letting it clatter to the floor.

He quickly rushed to your side after it dropped, checking for any injuries. When he didn’t find any, Naib brushed some hair out of your face, resting his forehead against yours. “You can’t keep scaring me like this. What happens if you do go through with it? You’d really leave me all alone?”

“I don’t know.” You mumbled, at least you were being honest.

Norton

He already worry’s about you, probably more than he should, so this is just adding on.

He makes sure you share a room after the first time he witnesses one of your breakdowns.

It’s not that he believes you can’t take care of yourself, he just doesn’t want you to burn yourself out.

At night he’ll always wait for you to sleep first, and he watches you fondly or sadly, depending what occurred that day.

Norton and you had a rough day. It started with shitty matches, then rude teammates, and then a small argument between yourselves.

The reminder of it made him sigh. Finally after confirming you fell asleep he’d shift to spoon you. Taking his hand to gently run up and down your arms, being mindful of the scars that he learned to love.

“If only you knew how much I need you in my life, ___. I’m not good with words, but fuck, I love you so much.” He whispered to you, placing a kiss on the back of your head.

Alva

He’s more in tune with your emotions than yourself.

He understands that things can get hard, and doesn’t let it define you.

He wants to see you flourish, he is a mentor after all.

Alva will stay up with you until you fall asleep in case you’re afraid you might do something you’ll regret.

He also doesn’t mind cleaning your wounds, of course it makes him sad, devastated really, but it’s you, and he’d do anything for you.

Romantic;

Alva kisses away your tears, as he reassures you, your loved.

He makes sure that you bathed, and washes your hair for you.

He’ll hold you at night as well, letting you hide in his chest.

“It’s alright my dear, I’ve cleaned up all the blood, you can look now.” Alva says, and you finally open your teary eyes. Seeing him bandage up the last bit of your legs.

“Next time you feel this urge, or even feel upset, come find me. My door is always open to you.” It comes out firm but gentle, like he genuinely cares. Something no one has showed in this awful place a lot.

Your about to open your mouth but he shuts it down, knowing what your about to say, “No, you are not a bother, No I don’t care how late it is, and yes I do care about you. I love you, and it pains me to see you like this.”

“Alva, I can’t do this to you what happens if-”

“Then we’ll figure it out together. You and me.”

Victor

He cried the first time you came too his door bleeding.

Wick was right there next to you both nudging at your leg as he bandaged your stomach.

He couldn’t come to terms with the fact that he could lose you either from the games or by your own hands.

It pained him deeply when he find used razor blades in your trashcan or a hidden knife under your bed.

He wrote you a letter a couple times begging you to talk to him.

Pouring his heart out to you that he needs you and loves you deeply.

On occasion Victor would knock on your door late at night wondering if he could sleep with you when his paranoia got too much.

A knock; then two more.

It was around 11pm and Victor had shown up again holding his pillow in one arm and wick in the other.

“Couldn’t sleep again?” You said lowly, since other people lived on your floor too.

He nodded and walked inside, setting wick down on the end of the bed.

“Do.. you mind if you hold me? I miss you, and I’m scared.” It was barely audible but you heard it. He could talk, sometimes, only when he felt it was necessary. So it wasn’t too much of a surprise when he said this.

“Yeah, come on.” You ushered him to get into bed. Slipping in next to him and letting his head rest on your chest.

You felt his shaky and nervous fingers trace patterns over your scars. Delicately memorizing each and every one.

You didn’t mind, because you trusted him.

But deep down, it hurt you inside that you were causing him this pain. This worry.

I finally did it! I posted.

I’m hoping to post more soon

[signanothername]

it might be an awkward question but-

HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO DRAW SO MUCH?? how do you get so many beautiful ideas? how do you keep yourself motivated? tell me your secret I will sell you my soul

🩵 🫴 take it.

Why thank you 🫳🩵

Ah the question ever

Truthful and simple answer is that there’s no secret

This might seem contradictory considering how much I post, but I genuinely am not as motivated or as inspired as I seem to be

I struggle a lot with ideas and motivation and that is a problem I have on a daily basis that’s been happening for years (I have SO many wips that I never shared)

It’s not about the struggle, it’s about how I curated my art to that struggle

I’m at a constant threat to experience burnout (certified chronic pain and chronic fatigue haver), so to combat that, I take measures to make sure I don’t burn myself out and actually reserve the very little energy I have to continue doing artworks/comics

To give you a specific example, if you notice with my comics, they’re always sketchy and are never colored, that’s not because I don’t want to make colored comics, but because of knowledge from previous experiences that if I actually forced myself to make colored comics, I’d immediately plunge to burnout and would probably not be able to draw for a few weeks after because of it (in fact the last time I made a colored comic was here, which is a rare occasion even then btw, and that comic caused me to experience a near burnout)

Which was extremely frustrating to me at some point might I add, because before 2021, I had no problem making so many colored comics and artworks at a short span of time, I actually had motivation before (something that is lost to me now), so you can imagine how genuinely frustrating it is, it even made me feel like I’m not a “real” artist

(The concept of what is considered a “real artist” is bullshit btw, someone who draws stickmen everyday is as much of a real artist as someone who makes diverse fully colored artworks with backgrounds and everything, as long as you use your creativity and turn it to something meaningful, you’re already a real artist, regardless of skill or the extent of which you are able to conceive with your art)

That being said, it’s all about finding your own footing and workflow, what works best for you? What doesn’t?

Some things that you’d love for them to work (in my case making colored comics) might not work in reality, life is disappointing like that, so it’s also about acceptance

Acceptance of yourself as you are, maybe it’s not what you truly strive for, maybe you wish you could do more, but sometimes taking a step back and looking into yourself to see if you can actually achieve what you want with the resources you have could be life saving

So when it comes to motivation? Find your workflow, what are the things that you know could make you lose your motivation? On the other hand, what are the things that preserve your motivation?

Not only that, but time management is also a contributing factor

Of course, my own way to preserve my motivation/energy is as follows:

1- never force myself to finish artworks/comics if I feel like I can’t (even if I really really want to), I save them up for later when my motivation for them kicks back in

2-let perfectionism go, if I keep fretting over whether every line in an artwork looks good I’ll never accomplish anything but destroy my mental health (certified perfectionist speaking btw)

3-comics stay as sketches, as much as I want to make beautifully colored comics, I know this will only contribute to my burnout, so keeping it real with myself and what I can accomplish with my own resources (energy, time, health, etc) is important

4-making multiple sketches in a day then choosing what fancies my brain that day, or getting back to older sketches I already made before (sometimes months before) to see if my brain has the itch to work on any of them, by doing that, then I’m giving myself actual diversity in choices to choose from, which helps me feel like I don’t have to be forced to work on anything new, or something that I don’t wanna work on

For clarification, I’m talking actual sketches, not cleaned up ones, if you make clean sketches you won’t be able to make multiple ones in the same day

Here’s an example of what I mean by sketches

5-stop beating myself up over things I can’t control, if I keep being harsh on myself over the fact I couldn’t finish an artwork or the fact I’m not satisfied with it, it’ll only contribute to make me feel bad about myself and that would only contribute to me losing even more motivation which contributes to beating myself up and so the self torture cycle goes on, myself deserves to be pat on the back gently and be told “it’s ok, you’ll get there in time”

6-teach myself that it’s ok to lose motivation, there are times in which I do not open my art app for weeks, instead of hating myself for it, I tell myself “you need time, you’re tired and you need the break”, and it’s true, if you lost motivation, it’s most likely due to something else contributing to it

So i just ask myself what’s up, sometimes, I’m overworked in other life aspects, other times I’m in too much pain, so instead of forcing myself through my demotivation, I take care of these factors demotivating me so I’d feel comfortable enough to be able to work on artworks again

If I couldn’t identify a factor contributing to my loss of motivation, then I take it as my own brain telling me that it needs the break, it needs the dopamine if doing something different and I do that, whether by watching my favorite shows, playing my favorite games, trying a different hobby like writing or reading, etc

7- work on my own time, sometimes I do finish artworks quickly, and I do have the capacity to do so, but I’ve noticed that my loss of motivation became less of an issue when I gave myself the actual time to work on artworks, sometimes, a simple artwork that I could finish in 20 minutes takes me weeks to finish, not because I can’t finish it earlier, but because I intentionally worked slowly on it as I’m working on other artworks just as slow, that way, I don’t overwhelm myself and I’m making progress on multiple artworks/comics at the same time, and seeing such progress gives me even more motivation

Cough, anyway, got lost in talking about motivation ghcchch

As for your other question about how I get my ideas, it’s usually something I saw that inspired me, whether an artwork, something irl, etc

Or even sometimes, my own artworks inspire ideas for comics, so I’d draw something, then ask myself (asking yourself questions is such a great helper when it comes to coming up with ideas) why is the character doing this? How did they get there? Etc

That helps me come up with answers which are then answered via comics or multiple different artworks

For example, this comic, what inspired it was me asking myself one simple question, “what would happen if Murder actually asked Nightmare for a visit home for once, instead of running away like he always does?”, and that immediately got me to work on the comic

Of course, it doesn’t mean I always am on the ready for an idea, in fact, a lot of the time my mind is blank, nothing up there to help me, which is why I turn to mindlessly sketching sometimes

I just open a canvas and start sketching, what? I don’t know, I’m just gonna sketch something, could be a character, environment, scribbles, meaningless lines etc, it’s my iwn version of a warm up, and it helps a lot with making my brain get into the zone

That’s all I can think of off the top of my head

Enjoy a look into my brain chhcchch