#and i do have to admit it is quite funky

[pinkys-plan]

My mum got me a Rodney Matthews art book for Christmas and uh

[hurtspideyparker]

Tony doesn't tell the Avengers about Peter's secret identity, but Peter starts coming over constantly and chilling around the tower, helping Tony in his workshop or eating dinner with everyone.

Since Tony is weirdly secretive about who the kid is, and the fact that Spider-Man is still a small unknown (presumably adult) hero who isn't on any Avengers radars, they all collectively come to the conclusion that he's Tony's illegitimate child.

Bruce: They do have the same eyes...

Steve: This is an inappropriate conversation to have. If Tony doesn't want to tell us then we shouldn't pry

Natasha: Tony doesn't even like kids. There's no way he would tolerate one if it wasn't because of his guilt complex. I'm surprised there isn't more little Starks running around considering his previous lifestyle

Clint: *cough* drunk slut *cough*. Oh excuse my throat, I meant to say he was a drunk slut

Natasha: Steve they're the exact same. Talk too much, too fast, genius brains that go right over our heads, stubborn, like to cope with humor, same body language. They'll have the same smile lines when Peter grows into them. The only difference is that Peter was raised with manners

Steve: I'm not saying I don't agree, I'm saying it's none of our business. Anyone with basic observational skills can tell they're desperate to fill father and son roles in each others' lives, but Tony's really weird about it, so we should let him keep it private

Clint: We probably make him nervous

Bruce: Because he thinks he's a bad dad?

Natasha: I think he's kinda good at it. Which is extremely unnerving

Steve: Honestly out of all of us I had bets on Bruce having a secret wife and kids hidden somewhere. Tony stepping up to be a father was lower on my list than Nat

Natasha: You have a list?

Bruce: You think I pull?

Steve: That's irrelevant. I think it's nice that they're so close already, but we don't need to press. It might mess up a good thing

Clint: Wait can we go back to this list business. Are these like pragmatic, military leader lists, or are these for pleasure? What other kinds of lists do you have? What about which one of us is most likely to turn on you. Or what you'd turn for. Oh! What about a list of all our weak points based on accessibility and intensity, with contingency plans in case of defection or aliens or brainwashing or alien brainwashing causing defection

Steve:

Natasha:

Bruce:

Steve: This is why Tony won't share his personal life with us.

They last another week before Clint, Natasha, and Bruce team up to steal a strand of Peter's hair and test it for paternity. Steve knows something is up, and follows Clint to Bruce's lab.

Steve: What are you doing...

Natasha: Admit it, you know exactly what we're doing and you want to see the results

Steve: I... well if you already have them there's no point keeping it from me

Clint: Tony Stark is not the daddy!

Tony: Which of my exes have you been talking to?

Clint: AH oh hey Tony didn't see you there

Steve: I'm not apart of this

Tony: Is this about Peter? He told me something plucked his head when he was walking down here. Which of you murder twins was hiding in the rafters

Natasha: Y'know he's not your kid, whoever told you he was lied to you and I hope you get your child support back

Tony: My kid? He's my intern. What funky kool-aid have you all been drinking, that boy is sorting my tool drawer right now. He has slightly better dexterity than Dum-E, it's been quite helpful

Bruce: You have really poor professional boundaries if he's just an intern

Tony: Okay fine. He's actually Spider-Man. I didn't wanna tell anyone cause the Accords were still fishy, but everything should be good now. Anyways, he really wants to train with you guys so you'd have to know eventually

Clint: Who the hell is Spider-Man?

Steve: That guy in Queens who helps bring in peoples' groceries?

Tony: Well, yeah—listen, he's like 14 and he just got his powers. I'm not exactly sending him to fight armed terrorists yet. He'll grow into it, but trust me, there's potential. I'm kind of like his mentor

Steve: You really don't need to do that

Bruce: Yeah we'll all help out from now on

Natasha: Don't take too much responsibility for the boy

Clint: Oh god what have you been teaching him?

Tony: Thanks for the vote of confidence guys. Whatever, now that you all know he'll be hounding you all day for advice anyways. Good luck with that. Friday tell Pete to come down here, the Avengers are gonna train with him

Tony leaves them all, snickering to himself as loud footsteps come crashing down the hallway. If they didn't know any better they'd say several elephants were tripping down the stairs. Then, the doors burst open, Peter's mouth already running a mile-a-minute.

Peter: Really, you guys know, you guys will teach me? Can I use the shield, Ms. Romanoff can you show me how to kick, show me with Mr. Barton, or, or Mr. Rogers. I can take down someone bigger than me, I'm actually really strong. Wanna see? Why are we in Bruce's lab, is that my first lesson! Can I touch this? What are you making here, how long has this been distilling, what about my webs, have you ever seen my webs? I did them myself, but I bet we could make them even better, watch out it's really sticky—

Steve ends up with webs all over his face, several of Bruce's beakers broken from the white spray, one reacting poorly with it and exploding all over Clint and Natasha. Bruce immediately shoves them into the decontamination shower, leaving them as two drenched rats wearing skin-tight combat gear. Natasha is already fuming at the thought of trying to peel it off.

Peter: I'm really sorry, I didn't know it was on ricochet... the splitter webs were just 'cause I panicked

Steve: This is why I told you all to leave it be.

"Noted," they all say in unison.

[mochinomnoms]

Let me headcanon that Leona’s tongue is like every cat’s tongue, like a sandpaper. Imagine how his neck licks make you shiver…or other licks

Cat tongues feel real funky! Because they're so rough, they can get really ticklish on sensitive skin, like the back of your arms, legs, neck, and palms. They're not exactly like sandpaper, if they are, they're the very fine kind.

Lions I'm pretty sure have way rougher tongues, so those would be much closer to sandpaper, though I think Leona and other wild cat beastmen aren't quite as rough as well. But, they still tickle you on your sensitive areas.

Leona won't admit it out loud, but he finds your laughs and squeals as his tongue licks up your side cute. Plus, grooming is a common show of affection between lion beastmen. He'll only do it during intimate moments, where it's just you two together enjoying each other's presence. Though, if he were to use his tongue in other places, well it can be quite stimulating, to put it best.

[spaghettixdemon]

J Stands for more words than one PT.2

“While introducing his new girlfriend to the team, JJ is automatically confronted with her feelings for Spencer when they begin to get in the way of things"

DISCLAIMER You are responsible for the content you consume. Make sure to read all necessary warnings. Minors do not interact. Please remember this is a work of fiction; if you don’t like it, don’t read it.

Warnings: Drinking/Drunkenness, P in V, getting freaky in a car, fighting, slight mentions of death, Jealousy??

Pairing: Spencer Reid x F! Reader

Word Count: 2.7k (I am FEEDING y'all)

Little author message here- these are just ramblings and I never really planned on cleaning it up so again if it sounds funky that's way <3 read part 1 here

—————————————————————————————————

The room was uncomfortably quiet as the BAU team watched the silhouette of Spencer make its way toward them. JJ fidgeted with her fingers as Spencer and a shorter, younger woman made their way to the room smiling awkwardly and laughing to themselves. JJ was honestly a little caught off guard- She and Spencer had been the youngest at the BAU headquarters...up until now. They were in their mid-to-late twenties, and this girl didn’t look any older than 22. Her hair was all done up and her makeup was pretty bold- not necessarily in a bad way though, it just looked like she had been working on how she’d present herself for quite some time. JJ did a once-over of the girl. She felt a little unprepared if she was being real. This person Spence had been ‘dating’ was attractive -like really pretty. Most of the time the team referred to Spence as a nerd- so the fact that this person he brought in wasn’t visibly also a nerd, surprised her.

————————————————————————————————— Spencer smiled awkwardly and grabbed Y/N’s hand. “Hey so um…this is who I wanted you all to meet.!.This is my girlfriend, Y/N” Garcia clapped her hands and hurried over to the girl along with Derek and Emily. “AWW it’s so great to finally meet you! We’ve heard so much about you!” Y/N laughed awkwardly, caught off guard by the bubbly personality. “Oh ha- really? That’s so nice..” She paused and gave Garcia a once-over before shyly smiling “You must be Penelope…Spence mentioned a friend of his who wears fun outfits” Garcia and the girl laughed, clicking almost immediately “Yeah-Yeah you could say that- I’m the technical analyst here at the BAU- I’mglad Spencer talks about us!” She smiled up at Spencer and took a step back, gesturing to the people next to her. “Sorry, I’m hogging all the attention! This is Emily Prentiss and Derek Morgan- but I’ll let them talk for themselves” 

—————————————————————————————————

As Y/N met plenty of coworkers at once, JJ sat still, taking in the whole interaction. JJ felt a pit in her stomach, seeing just how head over heels Spence seemed to be for her…and she almost missed it, but did that random woman call Spencer the nickname she gave him?? Yeah, it was a pretty simple nickname, but so was Reid, Baby, My Boyfriend..or she could even just call him Spencer! She was positive that wasn’t a jab at her, but no one else in this office called him that…JJ thought back to the times she’d call Spence after work and how she’d use the nickname, thinking nothing of it, meanwhile this “new girl” must have liked the sound of it. It did roll off the tongue easily, she could admit that, but it was her nickname for him!

—————————————————————————————————

JJ stood up, thinking to herself as she slowly trudged towards the scene unfolding in front of her. Why did she care this much about a stupid nickname? Why did she automatically assume this woman stole it from her? Clearly, something was going on internally she just couldn’t place what. Why would a grown woman like herself be acting this way? She wasn’t a child anymore! She needed to start acting her age. She put on a compelling smile and stood next to Emily. “Hello, I’m Jennifer Jareau!” She spoke bluntly, and for the first time in quite some time, she didn’t refer to herself with her nickname. This introduction caught everyone’s attention, including Spencers, almost immediately. They didn’t seem confused, but they didn’t seem unaware either. 

—————————————————————————————————

JJ stuck out her hand for Y/N to shake, and it startled her a little. Y/N wasn’t scared or anything, the intensity just surprised her. “Oh um..Hi Jennifer- That’s such a fun name-” Y/N paused, thinking as her smile widened. “Ohh are you JJ? Spence talks about you constantly!” Y/N laughed, slipping her hand out of JJs. “Honestly when we first started dating I thought I should be worried about you…butttt you’re just really close- I get it..I have a few friends with work wives and husbands” Y/N chuckled. JJ on ther other hand, did not. Work husband? Spencer? She laughed awkwardly, feeling a little embarrassed. “Oh well I wouldn’t really consider Spence my work husband! We’re just…” She looked at Spencer, thinking. She didn’t really know how to describe their relationship, they just clicked, and he made her happy- it didn’t feel like friendship oddly enough their relationship just was what it was. “Work colleagues that just click, I guess you could say” She smiled and looked down at Y/N. Who was this young woman to define their relationship? I mean yeah, JJ didn’t really know either, but still! Y/N smiled, her eyes just barely squinting as she cocked her head. Y/N had a confused, confident, and happy look on her face somehow all at the same time. “Yeah....” Y/N crossed her arms, giving JJ a once-over before turing her attention to Derek and Garcia. JJ looked lost in thought as she took a step back, standing closer to Emily. She never really thought over the term ‘work husband’ before..did they really act that way? Like some sort of long term couple.

—————————————————————————————————

“Hey Y/N! Why don’t you and the rest of us BAU ladies go out for a girls night??” JJ’s thoughts were cut short as she glanced over at Garcia, coming up with yet another idea. JJ was about to shut down the plan, when Emily spoke up next to her. “Yeah Y/N! The girls all get to know you and Derek and Reid can go out share all their guy stories.”Spencer rolled his eyes, laughing nervously. Y/N could feel his index finger rubbing her own as they held hands. “Oh come on Garcia- are you sure? You all just met. Why not give drinking together a day or two?” He chuckled, but it was clear Spencer had picked up on some odd vibe, and was trying to diffuse things. Which if we were being so honest right now, JJ was more than thankful for. 

—————————————————————————————————

Y/N turned to Spencer, back faced to JJ now as a bigger smile appeared across her lips. “Oh come on Spence…I practically know them already! You tell me so many stories..” She turned back to face Garcia, Emily, and JJ. “Plusss I’d have three badasses by my side in case anything were to go wrong..” as Y/N egged on Spencer, Garcia and Emily laughed. They started cheering and begging Spencer to let Y/N get to know the women he worked with. It was only until the peak of the begging did JJ laugh an throw her hands in the air. “Aw come on Spence- let us get to know your girl!” JJ smiled. She didn’t fully understand what she had against Y/N, they did just meet after all, she just felt so…weird around her. Maybe if the she went out for drinks together with Y/N and her coworkers, that would clear up JJ’s feelings about everything. Spencer glanced at JJ, looking back down at Y/N with a smile “Oh why not..I’m sure you all will have a great time..!” The woman cheered and Y/N hugged Spencer. “Aw thanks baby!” She beamed as Spencer smiled softly. “Yeah Yeah…you have my number if you ever need anything..” Y/N smile softened and she laughed. “Yeah I sure hope I do..” She leaned up and kissed his cheek, moving closer to him, and in return Spencer leaned down and kissed her quickly on the lips.

—————————————————————————————————

That’s when JJ felt the pit in her stomach. It wasn’t dramatic, she just felt like someone had pinched her, or slapped her, or maybe even pulled her hair. Just- something that woke a person up if they weren’t aware of things before. She couldn’t put a name to this feeling, but she was definitely up and adam now. Spencer noticeably blushed as Derek started teasing him. “Wooahh! Save it for later Lover boy!” the couple in front of JJ laughed as she stood there, a soft smile playing at her lips as she stood near them.

—————————————————————————————————

JJ exhaled a breath she didn’t even know she was holding in as Y/N began to speak. She started by looking at Spencer, then the rest of the team in front of her. “Well um it was nice to meet you all! I ave to finish some work for the day but I can’t wait to see you all later- I assume you have Spence’s number, so just text him the address and time of where we’re meeting so he can pass it along to me!” She waved to everyone, a bright smile on her face as she glanced up at Spencer. “Wanna walk me back to the car?” Spencer glanced back at JJ before smiling happily and waving to the rest of his team. “Be back soon!”

—————————————————————————————————

The couple had walked out, and everyone that had just met Y/N immediately started chatting about her. “She’s so pretty! And she seems a bit younger than him- don’t ya think?” Emily whispered to Garcia happily. Derek came over to JJ and they started to chat, only for JJ’s mind to wander. The way Y/N had called her Spence’s ‘work wife’... “JJ..” The way Spencer held onto Y/N and kissed her… “JJ..?” Why did she feel butterflies? This was her coworker, and his private life should not concern her. “JJ!” JJ jumped a little, thoughts leaving her mind as Derek stood in front of her. “Did you hear what I said? That girl seemed to have Pretty boy wrapped around her finger..like I’ve never seen that man so smitten before!”JJ was barely paying attention nodding her head at Derek. “Oh! Oh yeah- they’re really cute together..” She looked towards the door where the couple had walked out together. Derek took in JJ’s reaction and put his hands on his hips. “Are you ok? You’ve been acting so weird lately..” JJ looked back at Derek and shrugged, smiling. The one issue with working with BAU agents is they’ll always figure out when you feel conflicted. “huh? Yeah come on Morgan, I’m good! I just…need some air.” JJ made her way towards the door, ignoring any response Derek might have given.

—————————————————————————————————

JJ had thoughts flowing through her mind of Spencer and that young woman attached to his hip. She sped-walked over to the elevator and made her way to the first floor. She looked at the ceiling on the elevator as it went down, thinking about how he used to look at her like he did Y/N just moments ago. As the elevator opened, she hurried towards the front door that led to the parking lot closest to her. JJ felt a weird guilt walking outside. It’s not like she was a smoker or anything, she just..needed air, that’s all. She felt overwhelmed and needed some space to clear her mind. As she shoved the door open, she looked up, seeing the many cars in the parking lot. One smaller light green car caught her attention almost immediately. Inside the car, two heads were twisting and turning back and forth. All JJ could do was stare as she watched Y/N grip Spencer’s hair and pull him closer as they made out. To be fair, their car was pretty far away from the front entrance, but that car color gave them away almost immediately.

—————————————————————————————————

Y/N was breathing heavily while a blush crept its way across her cheeks. She breathed heavily, feeling the car air heat up around them. She held onto Spencer as she slowly broke the kiss, only to replace it with quicker pecs. “You’re so cute…when you introduced me” She mumbled to Spencer, who only laughed breathlessly in response. She kissed Spencer deeper and held onto him with a smile. Spencer seemed to be panting as his eyes stay glued shut. He held Y/N close and broke the kiss by biting Y/N’s lip and pulling away slowly with a smile. “Oh yeah..? Y/N was visibly flustered as she blushed and hugged Spencer. She looked up at her boyfriend and his scrunched outfit and messy hair. “Oh of course..!” She paused, visibly thinking. “I think I expected JJ to be more welcoming though, but whatever doesn’t matter” Y/N hummed and kissed Spencer softly on his neck- not leaving anything like a hickey, just wanting to get his attention. “…I’ll be seeing her later! I’m sure we’ll get along then..”

—————————————————————————————————

JJ watched, seeing the couple start chatting and kiss each other. It was…so romantic..and..so embarrassing. JJ just witnessed their make-out session unintentionally. The only thing she could focus on was how passionate Spencer looked when kissing her. It played on loop in JJ’s mind..the way Spencer held Y/N close, the way he bit her lip..If JJ wasn’t a smoker before, she’d sure need a cigarette now. Friends shouldn’t feel the way she thought about Spencer. Maybe she was sick! Or dreaming..? Or maybe just delusional..? She couldn’t place the way she felt about Spencer, but she knew it was not normal. She watched as Spencer kissed Y/N deeply as he tried to leave her car. JJ suddenly became uncomfortably aware of where she was in this moment and how she had been staring at them like a dead man.

—————————————————————————————————

She moved back and forth, trying and thinking about where to hide and what to do. Then, the thought entered her mind. She wasn’t a child- she was a grown woman! Why should she hide? She turned to face the door, grabbing it to try and scurry back inside, only to see the giant black box attached to the door frame. The key card scanner. The only way to get into this government building was to use a key card, which she foolishly left on her desk upstairs. Ok, now she was panicking. She glanced back around, seeing Spencer make his way towards the office. He coked his head, squinting his eyes as he made out JJ trying to rip the door open.

—————————————————————————————————

“JJ..? Are you…Ok?”

—————————————————————————————————

JJ felt sick to her stomach. She just intruded on Spencer's privacy, and had no way of escaping. She awkwardly turned to face Spencer and- if she wasn’t flustered before, she sure was now. His tie was practically falling off his neck, a few buttons had popped open on his shirt, and his lips were plump and red. JJ blushed, taking in how messy Spencer looked. “JJ? I said, ‘Are you ok?’ ” He was closer now and had his hands on his hips. JJ shook her head, clearing the thoughts absorbing her mind. “Huh? Oh yeah..yeah! Sorry I was just trying to get some air but I got locked out..” She laughed awkwardly, knowing how obvious her lying was. Spencer gave JJ a confused look, but shrugged it off as Y/N started to drive off, stopping in front of JJ and Spencer and rolling down a window. “Bye baby! See you at home”

————————————————————————————————— Wow…JJ really was out of the loop huh? Baby? At Home? A home that they..shared? JJ smiled and waved goodbye to Y/N along with Spencer before turning back to him as Y/N drove away. There was an awkward silence, neither of them really knowing what to say. JJ cleared her throat eventually, and looked up at Spencer. “Can you uh..let me in Spence?” JJ felt gross calling him that now- but did not want to acknowledge why. Spencer nodded with a bright smile on his face, bringing his card to the door and scanning it. He moved and held the door open for JJ as they awkwardly made their way inside. Neither of them spoke to each other as they headed back to their office floor, all the while Spencer fixed his shirt and hair. JJ glanced up at him, head filled with too much. Hopefully an hour or two later when the rest of the BAU girls got together she wouldn’t feel this…off. Hopefully..

—————————————————————————————————

taglist: @libraprincessfairy @esposadomd @teenwolfbitches28

[prdrys]

—# beneath the surface | v. schoenheit

desc: the best way to unwind after a day is with you.

—c. warnings: none, just fluff. (a little bit of angst, as well. but it has to go bad before it can get gud! 😋) ooc (?)

—a. notes: messing around w/ the layouts of my posts, so expect things looking a bit funky for a while…

as much as vil liked getting up in the morning, feeling refreshed after a good night’s sleep and preparing for the day ahead, there was nothing more he loved even more than unwinding after the day with you.

it was a wonderful moment of peacefulness in his rather packed life. from constant incoming calls of potential photoshoots and movie roles to performing his role as dormleader, vil always knew he could always come back to you after a hard day’s work.

well, most of time.

“what do you mean you can’t come over today?”

vil’s mood dampened at your sudden disclosure of information, a sour expression coming over his face as he stood in front of you.

he wouldn’t say he was sulking, but he was definitely sulking.

from the way his bottom lip slightly pushed forward, to how he crossed his arms over his chest as he huffed, and how his eyebrows furrowed together. it was quite obvious vil was pouting.

well, to you, at least.

to others, it was probably his usual displeased expression he’d show whenever upset.

but, it was cute nonetheless.

and as you gazed at his expression, you couldn’t help but chuckle softly with a soft smile, before you placed your hands on his shoulders with a reassuring squeeze.

“aww, c’mon, vil. it’ll be just this once, promise. and if not, i’ll make it up to you teeen times over when i have the free time~”

vil silently huffed once again, his expression souring even more at your words as he removed your hands off his shoulders and enveloped them in his.

and while although you were right, it was just this once, and he would have brushed it off and said alright if it was a normal day.

but today… he needed you today.

“oh!”

your eyes widened as you yelped in surprise when vil suddenly pulled you into his embrace, his hands clutching your shoulders tightly while his arms wrapped securely over your back.

he buries his face into the crook of your neck, nuzzling into your warmth with a sigh, and despite having to hunch over awkwardly to reach your height, vil still felt comfortable anyways.

“can i be selfish…” he mumbles into your neck, his own voice sound oddly vulnerable to him as he speaks, “just for today?”

“have you prioritize me, over everything else… just for today?” he asks.

the question sounded… as it was, selfish.

vil knew you probably had something better to do than to tend to his sulking, which he’ll now admit, much to his chagrin.

but, today felt… hard, in particular.

he doesn’t usually complain, or at all, about himself. so, even to him, it was odd of him to ask you of this, to have you tend to him than for him to tend to you.

ah, maybe he should take it back now.

he could feel that ugly feeling in his chest again.

but…

“ahaha! is that what this is about?”

…your laughter seemed to quell and cut through that unpleasantness that stormed inside vil’s chest as you pulled back from his embrace, that ever warming smile still adorning your face as you gazed at him with such kindness he never truly understood someone could have.

replacing that feeling in his chest with something more warm, one that bubbled softly with affection and love he wished to express to you in the best way possible than what he already can now, one that showed how beautiful his feelings for you and your feelings for him are.

“vil wants me to spoil him today, is that what he wants?~”

and that is all he wants for today.

vil huffs, a light blush dusting his cheeks as he looks away bashfully, but with a light smile nonetheless.

“yes.”

your hands felt like wondrous silk as they glide and massage vil’s skin, the moisturizer he had obtained from azul making the experience much more pleasurable as you gently worked the product into his skin.

vil was sitting down with you standing between his legs, delightedly doing his own skin care for him just because.

it was times like these that vil cherished. where his only worry was you, and you alone. not everyone else and what they think, nor the public, or his fans, or manager.

it was just you, and him, ending the day and unwinding in each others presence.

“y’know, this moisturizer’s really good.” you commented, giving vil’s face a few light pats as you finished rubbing the moisturizer into his skin.

“yes, very.” vil sighed, “azul made it for me, i’ve been using the product ever since.”

“is that so.” you deadpanned, recounting the few times you’ve baited one of the tweels (mostly floyd. he is not amused) into providing azul the main ingredient for said moisturizer in exchange for something in return.

“speaking of skin,” vil chimed, “your skin looks a bit dull. have you been keeping up your skin care?”

from the way you flinched at the question, vil already knew the answer and sighed.

—post note: i’ve had this sitting in my drafts for a good year. 🤡

[mncxbe]

Absbsjskajnshajks idk if you’re taking more requests rn, but if it’s not an issue could I possibly request a part two of that fic you posted about reader having a cat ability which means that they’re sometimes in heat??😭😭 maybe with Tetchō and Jouno (only if you feel like it)

Yes of course and my requests are always open although it may take a while to write them♡ Also added Dazai to this one I hope you like it.

1.50♡ p2

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊, 𝑻𝒆𝒄𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒖, 𝑱ō𝒏𝒐 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: itty-bitty smut♡/ fluff??

°☆○ 1.50♡ ~ part 1

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊

this smug bastard takes advantage of your state in the most subtle ways; lingering touches, flirtatious smiles and passionate kisses

at work he teases you more than usually, describing all the sinful things he'd do to you if you were in a more private setting👀 really just gets you all riled up for nothing

but when you two get home he acts like a completely different person

"What, bella? do you need something from me?" he always asks with a smirk on his face "Maybe some assistance with your little... situation?"

doesn't lay a finger on you until you practically beg him (nicely); it's not like he'll ever admit it but hearing your desperate pleas really boosts his ego

he does his best to help you in other ways too. he'll do more chores around the house and write your reports at work if you really can't handle them. overall he's a good guy♡

Dazai was lounging around the office, wasting time and avoiding his chores; since you had been sent on a mission, your boyfriend didn't had much else to do. He had his headphones on and was listening to some funky song when you suddenly walked behind him.

Leaning over his frame, you swiftly hooked a finger beneath one of the speakers and lifted it.

"Boo" you whispered lowly, your hot breath sending a shiver down his spine.

"Ah bella here you are. How's my pretty girl doing?" He tried to get up from the couch but you pressed further on his back.

"Bella... Come on let me get up and give you a kiss. I missed you" he whined

"Oh trust me baby. I want way more than a kiss" you said in a teasing voice.

In a matter of seconds, Dazai was back on his feet and had you pinned down on the couch, a mocking smile on his face.

"You're that desperate for me, bella? You've only been gone for a couple of hours. You really can't spend that little time without my touch?"

Your gaze darted around the room, hoping that no one could witness the position you were in.

"I'm in heat, Dazai." you confessed quietly.

"What was that? I didn't quite catch it?"

"I said..." you began, rosy petal blooming on your cheeks "I said that I'm in heat, Osamu. Because of my ability"

"And what does that have to do with me, huh?" he tauned, lips hovering just above the shell of your ear. "Do you perhaps want me to have my way with you here? In the office?"

Your body quivered slightly at the sound of his low voice, making him giggle.

"Get up, bella. And go finish your job so we can leave early."

You nodded your head in agreement before straightening yourself. As you were making your way back to your desk, your boyfriend called out to you:

"Oh and bella?"

"Yes?" you asked sweetly

"Don't forget to ask Kunikida for a free day tomorrow. You'll be needing it after tonight" he replied with a wink, causing your blush to deepen.

𝑱ō𝒏𝒐

you don't have to tell him that you're in heat, he can smell your arousal

just like Dazai, this man gives you the most condescending smile and shamelessly teases you throughout the day

if you work someplace else he'll send you texts to check up on you and gently remind you that he'll provide any help you need once he gets home

but if you're part of the Hunting Dogs good luck. he's all over you all day, making snarky remarks about your "condition"

Jōno also likes to hear you beg; hearing your thumping heartbeat and sweet voice when you tell him how much you crave him really turns him on

will cook breakfast for you if you're too tired in the morning

Jōno woke up with warm sunshine on his face and your sleeping figure next to him. This hour and a half before work, when you'd both wake up and cuddled for a while then have breakfast together was among his most cherished moments.

Usually you'd wake up just minutes after him, turning to face him with a wide smile on your face as you sleepily uttered a "Good morning Sai" and showered him with kisses. Except you didn't do that today.

Jōno knew by the accelerated rhythm of your heart that you were awake, but you were not moving an inch.

"Darling? Is there something wrong?" he asked softly, placing his hand on your waist.

You quickly shook your head as you curled up in a fetal position "No, I'm good, I'm okay". Your voice was shaky and low, as if you were pain.

"Baby please, if you're hurt or not feeling well then please-"

And then it hit him; a strong, intoxicating scent coming from your body. A cocky smirk rose to his lips when he finally understood the cause of your distress.

"You're in heat, aren't you?"

You suddenly turned to face him with a pleading look on your face. "Yea..."

"Well then we must do something about that" he teased, his hand sliding to your thigh. "Would be a shame to let you go to work like this."

Your boyfriend expected you to protest just like you normally did when he initiated such things in the morning, but today you were so compliant. You scooted closer to him, leaning into his touch; eyes glazed in lust.

"Well aren't you needy today, princess?" he inquired playfully. He gently pushed you onto your back and spread your legs, the tips of his fingers skimming along your clothed slit.

"You're so wet already, princess. I can feel it through your clothes" The little moan that left your lips when his lithe digits slid beneath the wristband of your yoga shorts reverberated through Jōno's entire body.

With a swift tug at your pants and underwear he had you undressed, thumb lazily circling your clit. His hot breath fanned against your parted lips.

"Sai, gimme more~" you babbled out, fiercely seizing his wrist as you guided his fingers to your entrance.

Your boyfriend only smiled at your desperate attempt, ceasing his ministrations. "Take what you're given, sweetie. Or I won't give you anything at all" he purred, teeth grazing the shell of your ear.

You immediately complied with his order and released his arm. "Good girl. See, it wasn't that hard, was it?"

Suddenly, he plunged two of his fingers into you; stretching your leaking hole. A ragged moan escaped your parted lips as your nails dug into his forearm, causing your boyfriend to smirk. Your sinful sounds were like music to his ears, clouding his mind with lust. There was nothing he loved more than coaxing those delicious moans and whimpers out of you.

His digits pumped in and out of you at a steady pace; his thumb resuming its circular motions on your puffy clit.

"God baby I'm so close" you uttered in a ragged voice, thighs instinctively squeezing together.

Just as you felt the familiar heat pooling in your core, Jōno removed his hand from your underwear.

"Won't you look at that, love. We gotta go to work or we'll be late." he said tauntingly. You let out a loud hiss at the loss of touch.

"Sai, don't you dare leave me like this-" you cried out but it was too late. Your boyfriend was already on his way to the bathroom.

The rest of the morning was spent in silence hence you decided to punish your partner for teasing you. Of course, you were aware of how much Jōno enjoyed himself; a scornful laughter escaping his lips whenever you dodged his touch and kisses.

"I'm gonna head out, love. Good luck at work!" he voiced before leaving, but you didn't reply. A few seconds after you heard the door of your shared apartment close with a thud.

You spent most of the day in a state of utter annoyance and frustration, not being able to focus on any task you were given. All you wanted was for your partner to take care of your needs but instead he treated you like a plaything, leaving you brimming with pent-up desires.

Around 2 p.m, your phone chimed, announcing that you just received a text from Jōno. A rosy blush rose to your cheeks as your eyes scanned the glowing screen:

'Hi princess, I hope you're doing well at work. I know you're yearning for my touch but I promise I won't leave you unsatisfied tonight. Just be my good little girl and wait a few more hours. I know you can do it♡"

It's safe to say that that night, your boyfriend kept his promise.

𝑻𝒆𝒄𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒖

my sweet angel he's the most caring person ever istg. he's a bit confused when you tell him that you're in heat since he doesn't really know how that affects him??

but once you explain that you'll need him he blushes so hard; but he takes it well

Tecchou take princess treatment to another level during this time. You get to relax after work while he does all the chores and cooks food

he prepares baths for you or spontaneously buys you a bouquet of roses♡ he's really sweet

you're never left unsatisfied in bed, like never. he has an incredible stamina and a never ending need to please you

The setting sun painted the blue sky of Yokohama in shades of purple, red and ochre, a warm light glowing through the high ceiling windows of the building. Tecchou was compiling his last report for the day when you peeked your head through the open doors of his office.

"Hi Hiro. Got a minute?" you beamed, lips curling into an impish smile.

"Of course, darling. Come inside."

Your sweet boyfriend didn't suspect anything as you closed the door and walked up to him, hips swaying gracefully. You positioned yourself on his lap, snaking your arms around his neck.

"So Hiro. How soon can we go home?"

"Soon. I just need to finish the paperwork." he replied, pointing at the half written page with his black fountain pen.

You pushed your lower lip forward into a pout, impatiently swinging your legs. "Ok but how soon is soon?"

Without taking his eyes off of the report, your boyfriend shrugged. "In a few minutes but... if I may ask, why are you so eager to get home, darling?"

"Oh, well" you said in a honeyed voice "I don't know if I ever told you this but because of my cat-shifting ability I sometimes experience heats"

"And?" he pressed, utterly unaware of what you were implying. His slender fingers were gingerly caressing your hips, making you shift uncomfortably in his lap.

"What I'm saying is that I'm horny, Hiro. And I need you to fuck me."

Your boyfriend's eyes shot open and he droppen the pen, little droplets of ink splattering the pearly sheet; the grip he had on your hip also tightened.

Pleased with his reaction, you ran one hand down his chest, slightly tugging at the buttons of his vest. "But of course we don't need to be home for that. There's plenty of space here" you added, patting his wooden desk.

Upon hearing your daring proposal, Tecchou's face turned a light shade of pink. "I mean... We're at the office my love but I promise I'll take care of you at home, ok?"

You give him a small nod and a peck on the cheek before hopping off his lap. "I'll be waiting for you in the car. Hurry up"

As you walked towards the door you could hear a sudden rustling of paper as your boyfriend haphazardly attempted to finish his work. He caught up with you just as you were exiting the building; of course, you didn't fail to notice his ragged breath. He'd probably ran down the stairs. You let out a soft chuckle as you noticed this.

"So, darling. Is there anything else I can do for you besides, you know...?" he asked sweetly "I mean, how does this affect you?"

"Well, I tend to lack in energy levels and I have a terrible attention span. I was actually thinking about taking a week off work 'till I feel better."

"I see..." After thinking for a few moments, Tecchou grabbed both of your hand and spoke in a solemn voice "Then I will do my best to do as many chores around the house. I'll cook dinner for us too so don't worry about it. Just focus on feeling better, ok?"

The look on his face was of pure devotion and determination; causing warmth to pool in your core.

You rose to the tips of your toes and cupped his face with your warm hands before pressing your lips on his. The kiss was tender and loving at first, but you soon found one of your hands entangled in his coffee-coloured locks as soft moans rolled off your lips. He swiftly scooped you up and made his way to your car.

Your boyfriend placed you in the backseat before taking off his cape and discarding it on the passanger's seat.

"Wait, Hiro. What are you doing?"

His skilled fingers quickly undid the buttons of his vest and he slid it off his shoulders, leaving him only in his tank top which showed his toned arms. All this time his hungry gaze was locked with yours, making you shiver with anticipation.

"Well darling. I guess you're not the only who's eager tonight" he said before joining you in the rear seat; hurriedly closing the door behind him.

[anniebass]

I'll admit I still do not understand what is the business with American bedding.

Like, in writing I use the word blanket, but to me it equals the slightly itchy thing preferably made of wool, like this:

and that, to me, is sensory nightmare to sleep under if close to naked. The itch! The woolen itch!

So blanket isn't a precise enough word to call the thing you sleep under.

Now, I think generally in Europe we sleep under duvets, which to my understanding are something like this:

I think this is the standard in hotels all over the world. It's made of cotton, comes in innumerable funky colors and patterns (I have the hay one, its's super cute), it has a zipper or buttons on the shorter side and is cheap and easily washable, because you rarely should wash the thing you put inside, this thing:

It's cotton, filled with goose/duck down, very breathable. It doesn't have any sort of zipper or buttons, it's sewn shut, and instead of washing it you hang it on a clothesline/balcony exposed to sun to air out whenever you change your sheets. These can be quite expensive and should last up to 10-20 years. You should wash them like every two years. Some people prefer this thing to be made of wool or bamboo (polyester not advisable, it burns).

Also, I don't know how Americans call this thing. Is that a duvet, and the previous thing is a duvet... condom? So many questions.

Now, the biggest question:

What the fuck is a comforter.

Is this the thing Americans sleep under? Please, it's been a huge source of confusion in my writing. Blanket is too vague, too... crashing on your buddy's the couch to convey the nice warm fluffy pile you should sleep under.

So blanket's out, duvets are EuRoPEaN, but comforters are just... alien to me. I've never seen a thing like this in my life, ever. Do you have several and swap them? Aren't they bulky? Isn't washing and storing them tedious, if you have a family and every bed should have 2-3 available? Is this why your houses and cars are so big?

At least assure me those have natural filling and are made of cotton. Please, I care about you guys.

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Congratulations!!

If you feel inspired by this combo and have time, could you write a ficlet using "I", 🍨, 🥰 or 😂, and 🔨?

Thank you!

(Apologies if you already got this ask--my device froze when I sent it the first time, so I don't know if it went through)

Thank you so much! 🥰I still remember your lovely comments on the mer-dude fic, so I hope you enjoy this little bonus! 🦕❤️🧜🏻‍♂️

Of mates and mer-dudes

Words: 996

Rated: T

Tags: summer camp AU; mer!Steve; established relationship; flirting; sexual tension; fade to black

Notes: Set in the same universe as Just add water

“Hammer.” 

“Hammer,” Eddie repeats dutifully. Dustin spends two or three seconds trying to drive the nail in with the object he's been handed, until he realizes it's a screwdriver. 

“Very funny. I said hammer.” 

“Apologies,” Eddie mutters, chucking the screwdriver back into the mess that is their toolbox with one hand and wiping his sunburnt forehead with the other. “I think we've been out here longer than is strictly healthy. How ‘bout we call it a day and head back to camp? It's almost dinner time.” 

Dustin scowls. The hair under his Thinking Cap is matted with sweat and he is red-faced and splotchy. An unavoidable side effect of working out on the secluded pier all afternoon. 

“We can't just stop now, it's almost done,” Dustin claims, gesturing at their rickety construction of wood and mesh - it’s supposed to be an oversized fish trap, even though Eddie thinks it’s turning out to be more of a funky modern art installation. “This'll work, I know it. This time, I'll prove that Lovie is real. All those past times, it got away too quickly, but if I could just-” 

“Jesus, kid,” Eddie groans. “You and your lake monster. You don't know when to give up, do you?” 

“Give up?” Dustin scoffs. “If Thomas Edison had given up, we'd still be lighting candles. If Homer Ahr had given up, we would've never walked on the moon. I sure as hell won't-?” 

“The fuck is Homer Ahr?” 

Dustin heaves a long-suffering sigh. 

“Only mission control's chief engineer, Eddie? Honestly, that's the kinda question I'd expect from Steve, not you. Where is he, by the way? I thought he wanted to help us.”

“No idea,” Eddie admits. “Lucky bastard.” 

Dustin draws a breath, probably to ask what he means, but Eddie is saved by the sound of the dinner bell floating over from the camp grounds. 

“Okay, you gremlin, off you go,” he says, pushing the kid towards the sound before another argument can break loose. “We can finish this tomorrow when we aren't dehydrated and grouchy.” 

Dustin grumbles. “What about you?”

Eddie waves him off. “Be there in a sec, lemme put away your shit first.” 

He starts picking up their scattered tools, throwing them back into the box. Only when he's sure that Dustin is well out of earshot does he collapse at the edge of the pier, naked feet dangling over the water's surface. 

“Man,” he says. “That kid, right?” 

There's a soft growl from behind him, and the barest of sloshing sounds, and a shadow falls over him. He only just manages to suck in a breath - knowing he'll need it - before a massive snout pushes between his shoulder blades and he goes plummeting into the lake. He’s dimly aware of the toolbox going down with him, and then the world vanishes in a whirl of bubbles.

He resurfaces to the feeling of arms wrapping around his waist and massive fins brushing his legs, and the sound of laughing voices - one human, one very much not so. He tries to glower at their owners, but actually needs a second to part the sopping curtain of his hair.  

“So fucking hilarious, you aquatic asshats. I thought I told you to quit doing that.” 

Lovie the lake creature just chirps merrily and dives back under again, splashing him with her fins as she goes. 

Steve shrugs. The motion makes tiny droplets of water run down his bare shoulders and collarbones, bringing out his freckles and moles and tiny, glittering scales. Eddie wants to lick them. He has long stopped worrying about what that says about him.

“Sorry. She just wants you in the water with us. She likes it when the flock is together.”

His smile is apologetic, but his tail curls around Eddie’s legs in the water, fins wrapping around the two of them possessively.

Because, see, here's the thing. Over the past year, Eddie has not only discovered that his infuriatingly pretty fellow camp counselor is a mermaid and the guardian of an ancient lake creature. He has also somehow managed to score said mer-dude as a boyfriend and been adopted into the lake creature's flock.  

“She never does that shit with Buckley,” he grouses, even though Steve’s words make something flutter in his chest. Steve's touch, also - hands on his hips, fins on his ankles. “She's part of the flock, too, isn't she?” 

“Yeah…” Steve blushes, a delicious pink hue on wet, sun-tanned skin. Eddie wants to lick that, too. “But Robin isn't my…” 

He trails off into an unintelligible mumble after that. Eddie wrinkles his brow. 

“Your what? Come again, fish boy, I didn’t-” 

“My mate,” Steve blurts, and the fins on his hips flutter excitedly under Eddie’s fingers. “Robin isn’t my mate.” 

Eddie feels his mouth drop open. The water is unpleasantly cold against his flushed skin. 

“Wait,” he says when he finally remembers how to form words again. “Hold on a second. When did that happen?” 

Steve’s face is still scarlet, but his lips start twitching when he meets Eddie’s eyes. “That’s just the way she sees it. You can’t expect her to think in human standards. Now c’mon, we gotta get to dinner or the kids will wonder where-” 

“Oh, no!” Eddie interrupts him, mouth tugging into a stupid, wide grin of his own. “No, no, no, sweetheart. You don’t get to tell me that we’ve been mer-mated for God knows how long and never officially consummated that sacred connection. I’m gonna get a mer-divorce if you don’t-” 

“Oh God, shut up,” Steve groans, and kisses him. 

As he gets dragged off to their favorite little shore, well out of sight from the camp grounds, Eddie bids a brief mental farewell to the toolbox lying abandoned at the ground of the lake. He’ll have to make up some story about where it went when Dustin asks him, but that's a problem for later. 

For now, he’s got other things to think about. 

More celebration ficlets

[theunfriendlyghost]

HQ Characters Most Likely to Date a Mortician

(Coming from a mortician)

A/N I know this is so niche and specific and nobody cares but I need this for my own mental health 😭😭also will probably do a pt. 2 because there’s a couple other characters I want to do

Sugawara Koushi

✨I don’t know why but he just seems like the type of person to have a funky taste in people (in a good way.

✨I think he would specifically date people he found to be exciting and interesting and when he found out about your job, he thought it was fascinating.

✨Sugawara also cares heavily about people as a whole. He’s a teacher, so obviously he has a lot of empathy. I think he appreciates the fact that your job requires a lot of empathy and care

✨initially, he probably thought it was a cool and creepy job but as he got to know you, he realized that the job takes a lot more skill than he initially thought. He appreciates the artistry that comes with it as well as the charisma required to do a good job.

✨This man literally tells EVERYONE about your job. He doesn’t care that people think it’s weird. He literally thinks it’s the coolest thing in the world.

Kageyama Tobio

✨This one actually took quite a bit of thinking for me but I think that after his grandpa died, he had a lot of respect for people in the funeral industry.

✨As someone who also went to funerals of family members growing up, it makes you a lot more open to the idea of death. I think he probably has a lot of questions but he’s willing to listen to the answers.

✨Probably felt weird about it at first? Possibly wasn’t as open with his friends about your job until later on when he understood it a bit more.

✨Probably also has virtually 0 idea of what you actually do at work. He appreciates it and knows it’s an important job but most likely doesn’t want too many details (which is fair and normal)

Kozume Kenma

✨This one might literally just be me holding on hope but I feel like he’d be fine with it?

✨Like to him, it’s literally just a job. When you told him, he probably just kind of said “okay?” And moved on. Wasn’t a big deal and he was confused as to why you thought he would be weird about it

✨Definitely wants to stream mortuary assistant with you so you can judge how accurate the game is to the actual job. Values your input quite a bit.

✨when he sees videos on TikTok about morticians, he always sends them to you even if you have no idea why he sent them. He just thinks you’ll like them even if he doesn’t understand 😭

Suna Rintarou

✨he gives me the vibe of someone who initially just liked your job for shock factor and then gradually realized there was a lot more to it than just that.

✨He finds it extremely interesting and asks questions often.

✨He reminds me of the type of person that used to spend his time smoking at cemeteries to be edgy and you had to tell him it was disrespectful 😭😭he thought you were overreacting at first but realized the reasoning behind it

✨I don’t pin him as the most empathetic person in the world? He appreciates your empathy for people but to him, it’s just a job.

✨Probably not great at comforting you after tough days (SORRY 🫨🫨). Probably just encourages you not to think about it too hard which sometimes does do the trick.

✨Although he’s fine with your job and thinks it’s really cool, I get the vibe that he would not step FOOT in your place of work. For some reason he’s superstitious about it? When he drops you off for work, he drops you off at the corner and drives away as fast as humanly possible but will literally never admit it.

[gracev0609]

Young in the Night

Josh Kiszka X Reader

Journey back in time to 1982, to an Alternate Universe where Josh is at the epicenter of debauchery and excess. Josh is an entertainer at the hottest new thing on the block, Chippendales, the place for women to drool and ogle.

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI, Adult Themes, Drug Use (cocaine), Explicit Sex.

Tugging your cropped leather jacket closer to your torso as you wait in line, your skimpy outfit is not doing much to block the chill from the cool evening air. You gazed up at the neon sign through your teased bangs. The summer of 1982 was coming to an end and you were standing in line with your best friend Marie at the hottest thing in the city of Los Angeles for women, Chippendales.

“Do you think the dancers actually kiss the girls?,” Marie asked leaning in.

“That's what I've heard!,” you giggled, silently hoping to receive a kiss yourself.

The line moved up until you were in front of the doorman. Butterflies erupt in your stomach as you stand in front of the door, uncertain in what lies ahead.

“Alright, you're next! Have a good time ladies!”

The heavy door opened and you were met with colorful lights and the hottest music playing, hundreds of seats sitting around a lit stage. Over on one side was a bar, the first sight you were set on. Grabbing Marie's hand you drug her with, eager to get a tequila sunrise on your hands.

You exchanged cash for your cocktails and went to find a seat, surprisingly you found two in the front row, being the second group to be let inside. The seating was filling up fast, from front seats to back.

The club started to fill and the lights got low, Marie gripped onto your forearm,” Oh I think it's starting!”

A man came out onto the stage, black dress pants, suspenders and no shirt,” Good evening ladies! My name is Mark, and I'll be your host tonight! Welcome to Chippendales, you're in for a night of hunky splendor!”

A tall tan man with blonde hair graced the stage, he was dancing around in the smallest shorts you had ever seen, a collared bowtie around his neck, and little cufflinks around his wrists like wrist bands. It was a play on the playboy bunny, but it worked. He shimmied and shaked working the crowd. You laughed as Marie reached out for him, waving a dollar bill around like a flag,” He's so cute!”

You thought he was an attractive man undoubtedly, but he didn't really do it for you.

He wiggled his way over to where the two of you sat, his hips gyrating in Marie's face.

“Hi sweetheart, do you wanna kiss?” He leaned over Marie as she nodded her head and you watched in awe as they locked lips like passionate lovers.

He pulled away and strutted around the stage, Marie looked at you with red rosy cheeks,” Oh my god!”

The crowd was roaring and your ears were practically ringing, the host speaks into the microphone again,” That was the Perfect Man ladies! Let's give him a huge thank you!”

The women around you went wild as you clapped, not quite understanding what they all saw in him. He was just a man, cute, but just a man. You could admit that the energy in the room was electric and you couldn't help but get swept up in the fun of it all. Mostly naked men parading around showing off their bodies and family jewels, it was drool worthy.

You watched a few more of the acts, some of the men had themes and costumes, some of them came out in pants and stripped down to speedos or g strings.

The host grabbed the mic once again,” Alright sweethearts, I present to you, our next act, an angel in disguise, Joshua!”

Out he came strutting the stage like he owned it, he was clad in the tiniest g string he could get away with, the infamous collared bow tie, and a pair of devil horns nestled into his funky curly mullet. You were instantly captivated by the interesting man. You studied his build, he was small, but toned. He looked strong, though not as strong as others you've seen tonight. Most of his skin was on display, the gleam of the stage lights made his oiled skin shine. The more he danced around to the music the more you became enamored with him. The jiggle of his butt as he strutted up to the audience on the other side of the stage forced you to ogle him.

Reaching into your clutch grabbing your dollar bills you leaned into Marie,” I don't know if I've ever seen a man have more ass!”

He swayed his hips, moving to the side of the stage you were at. When he stopped directly in front of you, his barely clothed package inches away from your face, a deep blush rose on your cheeks.

He squatted down so you were face to face, plucking the dollar from your fingers. Your breath caught in your throat as you really saw his face, he had the biggest softest brown eyes, a perfect white smile, and rosy red cheeks. He was slightly sweaty from gyrating around on stage, but that just added to his sex appeal.

Josh bit his lip before releasing it, his bottom lip plump and slick. Purring he crooned,” Hi Angel. D’ya want a kiss?”

You've never wanted a kiss from a man in devil horns more, nodding your head you leaned in and slipped your hands into his curls at the nape of his neck. When his soft pink lips met yours you almost swore you felt a spark of electricity, but that could be the tequila sunrise talking. You felt his tongue lick across your bottom lip, and tingles shot to your core. Easily you opened up for the performer, moaning lightly when his tongue danced with yours.

The kiss kept going on and on. The music kept playing, the girls kept screaming , and Josh kept kissing you. He had your jaw gripped in his hand, and yours traveled down the length of his torso, squeezing his pecs before landing on his hips. The elastic of his g string resting at your fingertips. You kept thinking that now was when he was going to disconnect from you, but if anything he leaned into you more. The kissing went on for so long that Mark the host came back on over the speakers,” Okay Joshua, angel in disguise, your time has ended! Wrap up your act!”

Josh finally ended the kiss,” If ya wanna go home with me, wait for me after the show.”

🎀🎀🎀

The club lights came up and the women started emptying out, the show was over but the bar was still active. You turned to Marie,” I'm gonna go home with him! I'll call you when I get home okay!”

“Okay babe! I'll leave the phone cord plugged in tonight so I hear the call!”

You hugged her goodbye and sat back down in your seat, sipping on a fresh tequila sunrise. It took you a second to recognize the man who had now come to stand in front of you, it was Joshua, but he was wearing clothes now. He had on white sneakers, light wash blue jeans, and a blue short sleeve button up, unbuttoned of course. “Hi Angel. I see you've made up your mind.”

“Hi Joshua. I did make up my mind.”

He grabbed your hand, pulling you to your feet,”Please call me Josh.”

He laces your fingers together and leads you out the front door of the club.

“I don't live far!” He squeezed your hand in his as you walked shoulder to shoulder on the LA sidewalk.

“I really enjoyed the show Josh! Your act especially,” You beamed,” It was my first time at Chippendales!”

He smiles down at you, this time you notice a slight gap between his front teeth,” I'm so glad Angel.”

“My name is Y/N, just so you know.”

One side of his smile quirks up,” Y/N…. I think I prefer Angel for tonight.”

You blushed feeling butterflies in your stomach.

Soon you arrived at his front door, you stood behind him as he fished the keys out of his pocket, unlocking the door.

Feeling your eyes widen in surprise, he must be making a lot of money from the club. His home had beautiful new modern furniture. He led you to his couch before pulling you into his lap. Your skirt rode up your hips and you straddled his thighs, your lips connecting again. Josh wasted no time running his hands up and down your body, his light touches making your nipples harden under your shirt.

Your hands wander his soft torso once against, and he leans in and kisses up your neck nibbling at your ear.

“Want some blow?” Josh cooes breathlessly.

Nerves bubble in your stomach, you've done it before, at a club with Marie.

“Just a bump.”

“Mmhmm.”

Josh lightly nips at the skin of your neck before lifting your shirt off your body, your bare breasts bouncing in his face.

“Heavenly” he breathes, placing your nipple in his hot waiting mouth. Back arching into his touch you moan his name. You grind your hips down into his hard on, making him moan out too.

Panting he disconnected from your chest and leans down, his hand placed on your back supporting your weight as he bends.

He retries a glass tray, blade and a baggie of white powder.

You wiggle your hips in his lap as he prepares your indulgence.

“God I'm so hard. Have you ever had sex on this? It's incredible.”

“I haven't, I've only taken it in the club.”

You hear the metal blade scraping on glass,” Are you sure you just want a bump? You can have more if you want more.”

You turn in his grasp to look at the tray, the tip of his cock brushing against your clit.

“I’ll do a line with you.” You whisper rocking your hips into him.

Josh kisses your cheek before separating the substance into two lines. He picks up the tray, placing it in your hands to hold as he gets the straw. Holding it to his face he leans down and inhales. Lifting his head his eyes flutter closed as his nose scrunches. After a few seconds he opens them, handing you the straw and taking the glass tray so you can partake. Leaning down you mirror his actions, also scrunching your nose at the uncomfortable feeling.

He places the paraphernalia back on the coffee table in front of him, and grabs your hips pulling them down onto his aching cock. Losing your patience you climb off of him and discard the rest of your clothing.

“Eager are we baby?” Josh chuckles following suit and removing his jeans and underwear. Feeling the effects of the blow your jaw drops at the sight of his cock. It's pretty. He's thick and pulsing, the head flushed a deep red. Your slick threatening to drip down your thigh, you place yourself back into his lap. His cock slips in between your wet folds as you grind his head against your clit.

Throwing his head back he moans,” God your pussy's just drenching me.”

After a few more minutes of grinding he's begging you to let him in. You grab him hot in your hand and line him up with your entrance.

‘Go slow Angel, stretch that tight cunt for me.”

The feeling of him in you was indescribable, euphoria tingling within your body. He felt so good. After a few minutes of bouncing he lifted you off of him.

“Wanna switch, put your ass up for me.”

You did as you were told, leaning your forearms down onto his green couch. He shuddered when he ran the tip of his cock through your slick again. You were so turned on you weren't sure if you had ever been so wet, it was all over your thighs.

Softly he nudges his way back in you, his sensitive head nestled against your g spot. His hips drive forward and you yelp at the sensation. Everything is so intense and pleasurable, you weren't sure if you'd ever had sex this good before. With his rhythmic push and pull of his cock against your special spot you felt that familiar feeling bubbling up in your stomach.A man had never made you cum before, especially not with just his cock.

“Josh, I'm getting close. I'm - I'm gonna cum.”

“Cum for me Y/N. Fuck, do I wanna feel it.”

You were in disbelief at how alive this sinful specimen of a man could make you feel.

Your high came crashing down on you as you clenched and fluttered around his cock. You gushed and gushed as he abused your insides.

You could hear grunts of praise as he fucked you through it,” Angel. I'm gonna cum. Are you on the pill baby?”

“Uhhuh!”

“Can I cum inside love?”

“Please Josh, ruin me!”

He gripped your hips even tighter, pounding into your tight heat. You felt him get even harder, swelling inside of you before spurting his warm cum painting your insides.

“Fuck! Fuck I'm still cumming,” he gasps out.

You could feel him throbbing and twitching pumping out small dribbles of cum as his orgasm dwindled.

Once he catches his breath he pulls out gently. You stay still propped up on your arms and knees .

“Just sit down love, we already ruined the upholstery.”

You chuckled, settling back down on the cushions, you laid your head on Josh's shoulder as you came down from all of your highs.

Josh pulls you into his body, eager for some skin to skin contact, “Oh to be young in the night, huh?”

[raindropren]

Some Hermit(+rats) sketches(+Plus the rambles I'm required to write about them)!

going from the ones I like the most to the ones that look more like doodles then sketches lolsie

A Joel! I wanted to try my hand at a S!10 Joel! I've been watching him for quite abit now and He's become one of my favorite hermits(an unsurprisingly long list ngl) :3 Also I found the Animator PerryRata a bit ago and I love how skrunkly they draw everyone, especially Joel, lol. I also have a ton of Joel headcanons from back during empires! He's made of clay and he can form his own body like you would a clay sculpture :D It's my headcanon for why his physical body changes without the use of outside "mods" He's also just a funky silly guy, and I really like how I drew this. Also the tanuki headcanons really fun, to me it's more, raccoon, but it can be either at this point :P

A Jevin! I'll admit I haven't watched him much, but I really wanted to try my hand at drawing a slime character who actually,,, like,,, looks like slime,,, instead of,,, really human with slime bits, lol. I also had a certain body type in mind so ya! I have few headcanons for him but I've thought alittle about how his slime body would work in my AU, so that's fun!

A Non-Hermit! A Garbage Rat Oli! Specifically season 2 Rats tho, lol! I very clearly just wanted to try my hand at drawing a rat on two legs, Garbage's very all over the place in the sketch. The lines are messy and that was kinda on purpose(Garbage whole look and personality is messy and I wanted to kinda,,, feel that in the art and design,, lol) also I was completely going from memory at some points :p

A non-hermit! A Rat Shubble! I don't remember what her like, thing was(like the titles most rats seem to have) but I do know she's lovely and I missed her. I was at my sister house, taking a break from craving pumpkins, and thought about the fact that Oli thought she,,, turned into,, a pumpkin, so I decided to draw her lol! I was trying to keep her cuter then Oli, alittle more put together, and I think I conveyed that at least alittle bit, :3 (also her outfits are so easy, Shubble please never change your outfits from the sweater + overall combo, Complicated outfits are my downfall LOL /lh)

A Etho! This was probably one of the better Etho sketches I did while trying to figure out what the hell his design's deal was ;w; I was having a very hard time but I think the eyes saved it on this one, it looks cute compared to some others! lol! also I gave him a little braid for no reason other then "cute!" lolsie

A second Joel! Secret life specially! I just wanted to draw him in a hoodie, I like drawing hoodies :] I'll make a slightly more complicated design later, but I like how he's just, in a hoodie, that season lol

A second Jevin! Frogger time!!! :O It's Jevin in that frog costume(drawn from memory instead of actually looking so it probably looks really wrong lol) I just really wanted to draw him again :]

A Gem! I was drawing newer peeps so I drew gem as like, a easier thing to doodle :'3 Also I had forgotten her hair buns in past sketches,,, oops

A Pearl! This ones much older than the others(as in, It's on the same page as the meme's with Pearl and Tim Drake lol), I just didn't find it good enough to post sadly ;w; It's a first try at Postmaster Pearl, from memory of course xP She's very cute but I don't think I tried even slightly on this one. you can tell cause I forgot a surprising amount.

and, Lastly, two more Etho's! I think these are cute, I'm just not proud of them at all, might not even look like Etho! but I still like them more then some of the others on that page,,,, They're silly, but not very good ;w;

Welp! That's it! I've been basically collecting my mcyt doodles to post, cause I don't deem a sketch or two alone, good enough to post :'] A hand full amount of doodles is enough for me tho, lol.

I'm real glad I've been expanding the number of hermits i've drawn tho! Yippeee!!

[superawesome40]

Wayne Children Timeline Update

Okay, so I’ve hit a standstill on the timeline. I’ve got (most) significant not-hero-related details worked out (I think???) and I’m working on education/jobs right now, but there is SO MUCH from canon that I could pick from, and I’m honestly a bit overwhelmed. Anyone want to help me out?

Enjoy me spiraling into madness as I attempt to introduce the events that I’m probably going to include:

Dick

The Slade/Deathstroke story line, probably heavily warped to fit the storyline.

Talon/The Court of Owls. I love those funky dudes, but I admit I only really know them ‘cause of the rhyme.

Spyral? Maybe? Honestly I have NO IDEA what Spyral is at all, and I’ll need to investigate more.

I’m on the fence about including the whole Catalina Flores storyline. I’ve heard about it in passing, but I haven’t actually done any research into it yet. It’s a VERY sensitive topic, and I don’t want to mishandle anything, especially if I ever get around to writing stories set within this universe.

I think Dick being a cop at some point is really, really funny, so I might have him join the Bludhaven (Blüdhaven?) PD for a bit? So he can take them down from the inside or something. He quits after like. Two years.

Jason

The Catherine Todd/Sheila Haywood/Willis Todd… situation.

Whacking the scary man with a tire iron (was that one ever even a question? Of course I’m including it)

League bodyguard for baby Damian (I’m pretty sure this one is fanon, but it’s my AU, I do what I want!!!)

Heads in a duffle bag

Titans Tower attack.

I’ve heard something about magic fire swords maybe, but I’m not sure.

This is making me realize I know… very little about what Jason got up to after his revival.

Cass

Huh. I don’t really have anything to put here? I know next to nothing about Cass outside of her involvement in the Batfam. Send help.

No like actually. What does she do? I love her character, but this post is making me realize that I don’t actually KNOW them.

Tim

Stalker baby stalker baby stalker baby stalker baby

Joker Jr.! I dunno, I really like the idea of JJ being like a completely different entity who lies dormant in Tim’s head and pops up from time to time? It inspired a story where Tim has several versions of himself living up in his head. I invented an entire disorder for it: Fragmented Personality Disorder. Probably won’t be a thing in this AU, but either way. JJ is DEFINITELY happening.

Young Justice is morally gray at best and they try very hard to pretend like they aren’t. (Young Justice is actually the only comics I’ve read, and I’ve only read up to like. Issue # 6 so far. I love my little dudes so much.)

Off topic, but will someone explain coffee Tim vs. energy drink Tim? Can’t he just combine the two with an ass load of sugar and call it a day?

Spleen.

Highest kill count. Don’t care if it’s canon. He has the highest kill count, he’s not sorry, and he WILL do it again.

I don’t know why the idea of Conner, Cassie, Tim, and Bart running around space completely unsupervised is so funny to me, but it is. Is it canon? Don’t ask me, I have no idea. Is it in this AU? Absolutely.

Again. What does he get up to? Robin era, Red Robin era, anywhere? Anything significant happen? At all???

Duke

Uhhhhhhhh.

I know about his parents. That’s definitely happening.

We Are Robin? What is We Are Robin? Is it pre-Batfam? Post-Batfam?

Wait was he Signal before or after he was a Bat?

Is he a Bat?

I COULD do my research. Or I could do the lazy thing and make you all do it for me :)

Damian

This is the little bastard that dragged me kicking and screaming into the DCU. This is all his fault.

Fun fact! I hated anything and everything to do with DC purely because I was introduced to Marvel first. I thought it was dumb, and poorly written, and a cheap knock off of Marvel. This was back when I only knew about like, Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman. I didn’t even know that the Flash was DC at this point. Then I found out about Damian and… well, it all spiraled from there.

So anyways, let’s see.

Killed by the Heretic? Yup.

Metal spine? Absolutely.

Dick Grayson’s Robin? Without a doubt.

Hmmm what else…

What happened in Super Sons?

Uh

What did he get up to with the Titans (?) That was a thing, right?

Wasn’t there a murder island story arc? Maybe? And he died for like, a minute but then he came back?

Also Damian and Tim attempt to murder each other as a ✨bonding activity✨

Bruce

Don’t even get me started on freaking Bruce. I dread the day I finally get up the courage to start looking into Bruce.

So yeah. Send help? Suggest your favorite fight/monster/comic for me to research? Please, I’m begging you. Doesn’t matter the universe, or the era, or whether it’s pre-Crisis or Earth 1 or whatever other million ways there are to break them down (I still have to look into those, too.), anything you think should be on the timeline, let me know and I’ll look into it.

[pinesfamilyguidetotheweird]

New Fic Idea

"Hey, Grunkle Stan? Grunkle Ford? Did you guys ever have crazy summers?" Mabel asked her great uncles during dinner one night.

“What? I thought you liked the Jersey Devil story,” Stan reminded.

“I do! But, it was like, one day,” Mabel pointed out.

“And you guys got grounded for rest of that summer,” Dipper added.

“That’s true,” Stan admitted.

Ford paused in mid-bite when a memory popped in his head. "Crescent View."

Stan looked quizzical. "What?" A memory of his own surfaced and his confusion changed to shock. "Oh...that's right..." He covered his mouth in thought. "Man...that was funky...And after everything we've been through, what happened there was...probably real then."

"Probably," Ford murmured, looking a little pale and troubled.

There was a strange feeling in the air that Dipper and Mabel couldn't place. Clearly, whatever happened at this 'Crescent View' place, it had an effect on their great uncles, even after all these years.

"Wait, what happened?" Dipper asked.

"Yeah! Don't leave us hanging!" Mabel said.

But Stan was hesitant. "Should we tell them?" he asked his brother.

Ford looked unsure. "It was...quite the harrowing ordeal, what we experienced." He glances over at the younger twins, instantly reminded of the things they've been through. "Although, it surprisingly pales in comparison to this summer. If the kids feel that they are ready to listen, then I don't mind telling."

"Yer darn tootin'!" Mabel exclaimed, mimicking a certain former local kook.

"If you guys are okay with it," Dipper said, still keeping in mind the uneasy energy from earlier.

"Ah...It's been years since it happened. I think me and Ford were 16 when it happened," Stan said.

"We were and if Dipper and Mabel wish to hear it, then so be it," Ford said.

"Alright then. Should you tell it or should I? Keep in mind, my memory is still shotty, so it might take a while for something to clear up," Stan said.

"I don't mind starting the story. And if it jugs a memory, feel free to jump in," Ford told Stan.

Stan leans back in his chair with his arms behind his head. "Sounds like a plan. Fair warning: this is gonna get creepy."

"Pfft. Com on, Grunkle Stan. We faced vengeful spirits, a bloodthirsty shapeshifter," Mabel said.

"A murderous demon, a literal apocalypse..." Dipper added.

"I think you guys get it," Mabel smiled.

Ford and Stan exchanged looks before the latter shrugged. "Well then."

Ford turns to his niblings. "It happened in Crescent View, Pennsylvania of 1970..."

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Hi!! Anon that asked for that jack confession and first, god that was so sweet thank you! Second, I can't stop thinking about the scene where reader tucked Jacks hair behind his ear?? That was so tender wtf, now I'm just consumed with the idea of jack liking his hair being played with by reader it's driving me feral

Awww I'm so glad you liked it! If you want to make it easier on yourself with me recognizing which anon you are, feel free to name yourself! I know I've seen other blogs do it before and I think it's pretty funky

Thank you so much for requesting!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Playing with Eyeless Jack's hair

After losing his sense of sight and being transformed into a demon, Jack's other senses were heightened

Quite a lot, might I add

He is very sensitive to things like loud noises, strong smells and especially touch

He has to wear special clothes, he has to use special soaps on his skin, etc

So when you are in a cuddly mood he tends to get very hesitant

He's tough, and he knows that you would never hurt him on purpose but if you were to rub up against too harshly, he may nip you out of instinct

He doesn't want that

And you can feel it too, as you lay there on your bed with Jack's body between your legs

He feels as if he's holding himself back, and not fully relaxing his body weight onto you

The truth is, he craves your touch

He wants your touch more than anything

But he doesn't wanna risk hurting you by mistake

"Love, are you ok?" You ask sleepily

You had been laying with him like this for quite some time, and you must admit, it is relaxing

He nods silently and presses a kiss to your stomach

You subconsciously reach a hand out and begin fondling with his coarse hair

He flinches, making you stop immediately

You are both frozen for a second, before you feel his hand wrap around your wrist and place your hand back into his head

You smile and continue to rub his head gently, parting and twisting it gently

Sometimes you curl the locks together in a small braid, before taking it apart and repeating the process all over again

It's not long before you hear the familiar rumble from Jack's chest start up

You kiss the top of his head sweetly as you continue your work, and he practically melts in your hold

You can feel him start to become more relaxed and content, and you know that he is near sleep

If you ever needed him for any reason, all you'd have to do is tuck some hair behind his ears, or push it out of his eyes and then he's yours

Bonus points if you trail a finger under his chin after doing so <3

[the-ninjago-historian]

I'm feeling sad today, so FLUFFY COLE X VANIA HEADCANONS TIME!

FEAST YOUR EYES UPON MY HALFBAKED SHIPPING IDEAS!!!🤣🤣🤣 Lol. I need something to cheer me up. These or Pixane usually does the trick. Also, I wrote most of these well past my bedtime. So you KNOW it's gonna be fun! Lol! And I have a little post-series stuff thrown in too. So these headcanons aren't canon to Dragons Rising. Just wanted to make that clear. Anyhoo, let's go!

1: Vania fell first. Cole fell harder.

2: They like to go hiking and spelunking ALL the time. They're the cutest little adventure duo ever! They've discovered all sorts of secret places in Shintaro's mountains. And even some ancient artifacts and cave paintings from Shintaro's past!

3: Whenever Cole visits Shintaro, Vania just lights up. She's happiest when she has her bestie with her.❤️

4: Vania once tried to teach Cole how to use the Shintarians Flight Packs. He was absolutely terrified at first. (Falling off of stuff trauma.😭) But Vania told him to focus on something nice so he wouldn't look down too much. He ended up looking at her. Cue mutual blushing and shy downward glances.🤣

5: Cole taught her some new dance moves. (She had been brought up on more refined forms of dance. Like waltz and such.) She wanted to try something different.

6: At first, they are both quite shy around each other. Not quite sure how close to get. But eventually once they got comfortable around each other, they became very snuggly and affectionate. Especially Cole.😊🧡🧡🧡

7: Everyone in the Ninja fam were super happy when Cole finally admitted to liking Vania. He'd always been so supportive of their own relationships. So they were happy he'd finally have a partner of his own to love.

8: Vise versa, the Geckle and Munce were very excited that the Skyfolk Queen was interested in the Son of Gilly/Milly.

9: Vania loves to chatter about her interests and Cole is always happy to listen. (Chatty Extrovert x Good Listener!😁) Vania sometimes secretly worries she's talking his ear off. She doesn't know that Cole loves just hearing her voice.🥹❤️

10: Vania is very protective of Cole. She loves him dearly. Even before they started their relationship. She wasn't kidding when she said she would bring her entire army to his aid. (As seen in Crystalized.) That being said, I think she would do anything in her power to help keep him safe.

Okay, post series ones now!

11: Cole had this perfect plan for proposing to her. Except he wasn't expecting one thing. When it finally came time to propose, Vania proposed at the same time. 🤣 They laughed about it more a good ten minutes before exchanging rings.

12: Cole ends up becoming King Consort of Shintaro. At first, the Shintarian people are a bit apprehensive to the idea of having some who isn't a Shintarian on the throne. But this changes quickly after seeing what a good ruler he is. And he quickly becomes popular with the people.

13: They have three kids. Their names are Valkyrie, Zephyr, and Collette. AKA Cole Jr.✨ More on that later.

14: Val and Zephie here are twins. But, they're aren't identical twins. Val looks more human and is the spitting image of Lilly. Except with streaks of gold in her black hair. Meanwhile, Zephyr looks more like a Shintarian. And he has the opposite. Gold hair with black streaks.

15: Cole was unbelievably excited about finally becoming a father. He'd always wanted kids of his own. When Val and Zephyr were born, he actually cried when he got to hold them. He couldn't believe him and Vania could make something so beautiful.

16: Collette is the baby of the family. She's adorable and definitely a daddy's girl. Also, this happened;👉

Jay: Hey Cole! I guess you missed out on naming one of your kids Cole Jr again, huh?

Cole: *smirks* Oh? Meet your niece, Collette.

Jay: A- *Jay EXE. has stopped*

Cole: *Dabs in victory*

Kai: Son of a gun. He did it.

And FINALLY, this funky quick doodle I did of them. It's kinda "Meh" but I tried.😅 (Vania is a nightmare for me to draw. Lol.)

On a side note, I'll probably do something like this for each of my favorite Ninjago ships. That should be fun!

(Tagging @only-lonely-stars because I know she like these two. Hope you don't mind!)

[smorbee]

iBook Pyramid Behind the scenes!

This is a long one. Also keep in mind we made this a year ago so were going completely off of memory at this point BUT we do have the files. Unfortunately we didn't save specific versions of it really early into its creation so all the blender files close to being finished.

We have an intense appreciation for funky old computers. People correctly identified inspiration from the Thinkpad 701C. Less obvious in the final design but something that almost certainly influenced us as well was the 12-inch powerbook g4.

There is something very satisfying about nearly-square shaped laptops.

Others mentioned the JVC 3100R pyramid TV which, you'll be surprised to learn, we had never actually seen until after working on this project. The resemblance is uncanny and yet, entirely coincidental. Honestly if we had seen this thing, it probably would have had an effect on our design because the way that hinge is set up is beautiful. Our thought process was simply just comically emulating the form factor of a modern laptop but with a giant CRT.

We're pretty sure the idea started out as simply wanting to design a full profile keyboard into a macbook-like laptop because funny, and at some point the butterfly keyboard came to mind and we said Screw it and implemented that into it as well. Heres the keyboard separated into the different sections.

Sorry to say that the keyboard does not actually contain any switches. (You'll see that this computer was modeled to be viewed a limited angle)

Heres the keyboard from the top.

Once we got going with it, the whole thing was turned into a big joke of course, clashing many different eras of technology into one. Such as this massive beige tank of a "laptop" having a single USB C port as its main I/O.

And same with the software. This is the texture for the display, Which was taken from our real (unfortunately not crt based) macbook setup at the time. Except not quite, as the original screenshot was 16:10. We simply edited the image to make it 4:3. This is running mac os 12 with a majority of the icons changed to early osx equivalents.

We'll be real and admit the animation is not very intricate, theres no real "rig" for the model, parts are just parented together because we did all this in about 2 days. That said, we had loads of fun animating it still, trying to imitate the motion of someone struggling to lift the heavy top up before it swings open with an inaudible, but easily imaginable "Thud". Making the whole body shake and the trackball jump slightly was the finishing touch to make it complete.

The wire for the trackball was made using a circle with the screw modifier and then applied to a curve. Here's what it looks like with each modifier applied sequentially.

And then making the trackball itself a handle for the curve, we can have the cable be dynamic. (Yes, we notice that the trackball in fact has no mouse buttons. No good explanation for that, I think we just forgot lmao.)

For the screen, we make use of a location transform on the UV mapping for the satisfying detail of the screen distorting from the impact, which we swear we've seen before but no matter how hard we (safely) bumped our CRT monitor we weren't able to recreate it. Nonetheless even if its not entirely realistic we wouldn't remove it for anything.

speaking of which, an utterly useless detail considering the resolution and distortion of the final renders and yet we added anyways just for our own amusement is that the display has a shadowmask, simply done by just multiplying it over the base screen texture.

Combined with a glass material over the inner part of the screen, it utterly destroys low sample count renders of the screen and makes the project at least 3x as prone to crashing so thats cool! (it crashed on us while we were writing this section)

We've learned since in future projects that trying to optimize polygon count and materials is still very important even for offline rendered content. We can never be truly free from the constraints of memory limitations 😔

the final step was getting a more authentic less "polished" look in the compositing. This step can get very complicated based on the specific look were going for, but for this render its really just basic color correction and some blurring and sharpening steps. We used the default fake jitter node in blender at the time, though in more recent stuff we use the non-denoised image with filters applied to it instead, so its less uniform between images and more uniquely degraded looking.

Though we'd do a number of things differently now were still pleased with the final result. especially in animated form.

Heres an overview of the scene:

This is the bezeled apple logo in polygon form. Its simply an alpha texture with a normal map:

Thats all for now! Thank you for reading!