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imthebadguyyy · 2 years ago

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Hold Me In Your Arms Tonight

pairing : steve rogers x reader

fandom : marvel

synopsis : steve comes home from a mission, and all he wants is to be wrapped up in your warmth and in your arms.

a/n : i just wanted to write something tender and sweet and smutty so here ya go

warnings : smut

the usual murmur of the quinjet had dulled, into a thick and heavy silence. as the machine soared through the night sky, the avengers found themselves in a rare moment of quietude after a particularly intense mission.

the air inside the jet hung heavy with a mix of exhaustion, and tension.

tony as usual, was the first to break the deafening silence. reclining, in his seat, his signature smirk missing commented, "well, that was fun, wasn't it? remind me to thank fury for these vacations."

natasha, sitting across from him, raised an eyebrow, one hand pressing an ice pack to the indigo bruise blooming on her wrist.

"now's really not the time" she muttered, eyes gesturing towards steve, who looked the picture of defeat.

the mission had started promisingly and could have been regarded as an amateur operation. intel suggested a hydra base operating in a remote location, with plans for a powerful biological weapon that could endanger innocent lives.

steve and tony had decided that the entire team didn't have to come, so the two of them with natasha and thor had suited up and gone, leaving bruce, wanda, clint you and sam to wait in the compound. they had what they thought was a meticulous plan to infiltrate and neutralize the threat.

until they actually reached the base.

as the team breached the compound, it had become evident that hydra was one step ahead. the entire facility was a trap, a carefully orchestrated ambush. waves upon waves of highly trained soldiers overwhelmed the avengers, forcing them into a chaotic retreat, that had left most of them nursing minor injuries.

"we didn't know cap" nat said, looking at the simmering anger in steve's eyes.

steve didn't lift his eyes off the spot he was focusing at on the wall.

"they knew we were coming. how the hell did they know?" thor asked, slamming mjolnir down in the ground.

tony muttered something along the lines of "our intel was compromised" but steve didn't care.

as the silhouette of the avengers compound came into view and natasha heaved a quiet sigh of relief.

she knew that the only person who would be able to calm steve and get through to him was you, and that you'd be the only person he'd ever open up to a 100%

with a hum, the jet landed, and the four trooped out, to see an awaiting maria hill, a grim furrow in her brow.

"cap we need a debrief on the-" her words died on her tongue and she computed the glare thor sent her way.

she understood the message : leave him alone.

speaking of, steve had walked into the compound, stepping into the elevator, head dropping low, he finally let out a deep sigh, fingers pressing the 4th floor, wanting nothing more than to have you in his arms.

the ding of the elevator signalled his arrival to you before he did.

you were standing in the kitchen, listening to the merry bubble of the kettle as you boiled hot water for a warm cup of midnight tea.

tony had given you and steve the entire fourth floor as your residential area, and you couldn't thank him enough for the state of the art amenities and accommodation.

just as you put your two spoons of tea leaves in the ceramic blue teapot clint and his wife had gifted you for your birthday, you heard the elevator door open, and the heavy footfalls of your husband echoed in the hall.

smiling to your self, you poured the hot water from the kettle to the teapot, just as steve's muscular frame filled the door of the hallway, his long shadow preceding him as he walked into the kitchen.

steve could smell the scent of black tea before he saw you, the homely scent wrapping him a warm hug that he didn't know he needed.

there were softly lit candles glittering softly all around the penthouse, and fresh bouquets of flowers in every vase. the plush sofas looked freshly dusted and soft music was playing in the background

soft, muted lighting enveloped the space, casting a warm and intimate ambiance. the city lights beyond the windows twinkled like a myriad of stars, creating a breathtaking backdrop against the darkened sky.

but to steve, none of this mattered. the only view he cared about was the one of you, shuffling around the kitchen in fuzzy bunny slippers and your silk blue pyjamas.

he watched as you moved with a quiet confidence, navigating the familiar space with ease. the rhythmic clink of porcelain against the marble countertop echoing as the cups were placed gently on a tray as you selected delicate tea cups from the cupboard. he watched your fingers, adorned with subtle rings, tracing the edges of the cups with a practiced familiarity.

as steve observed you with a mixture of admiration and emotion, his gaze, fixed on you, spoke volumes as he recognized the beauty in the simplicity of this moment. the anxious lines on his face softened, revealing a depth of emotion stirred by the sight of someone he cherished engaged in such an ordinary yet intimate act.

"hi baby" you smiled at him, smile dipping when you observed at the tenseness in his body language. his shoulders were taut, remnants of anxious lines softly fading from his forehead as he looked at you.

"hey" he said, voice cracking slightly, even more as you let out a soft "oh" reaching him in two steps to wrap your arms around him.

in the dimly lit room, the atmosphere was heavy with unspoken emotions and words, but you both knew he didn't need words, he needed the unspoken reassurance that you were there with him, physically, in the moment.

he stood there, shoulders slumped, carrying the weight of the world on his weary frame. even captain america got overwhelmed sometimes. you approached him with a gentle understanding, eyes reflecting both empathy and love.

as you reached out to him, arms enveloping him in a comforting embrace, he crumbled.

the embrace wasn't just a physical connection; it was a lifeline, a silent reassurance that in this moment of vulnerability, he wasn't alone. your fingers traced soothing circles on his back, a rhythmic gesture that mirrored the ebb and flow of emotions he was clearly feeling.

he buried his face in the crook of your neck, desperate to find solace in the softness of your presence. the scent of your hair, a mix of strawberry and vanilla, familiar and comforting, mingled with the quiet warmth of the room.

the thump of your heartbeat, pulsing through your body, steady and reassuring, echoed against his chest, a gentle reminder that they faced the challenges together, and that as you had stated in your vows, your hearts would beat together as one for the rest of your lives.

"we were so close, but everything fell apart. the intel was off, our intel was compromised, we were ambushed. the team got separated, and we couldn't prevent the disaster. it's like no matter what i do, it's never enough." he whispered, voice broken and eyes haggard, pulling back to look at you.

his eyes sought home in yours, desperate to find the love he needed so badly.

you listened attentively, absorbing the raw emotion in his voice. as he spoke, his hands clenched, betraying the frustration and helplessness he felt.

running your hands up and down his back, you whispered back, "you can't blame yourself for everything. you're only human. superhuman, sure, but still human"

steve ran a hand through his dishevelled hair, letting out a bitter chuckle.

"im supposed to be a hero, someone who saves the day. but what if I'm not cut out for this? what if I'm just making things worse?" he said, and you found tears rising to your eyes at the anguish your husband was in, blue eyes as stormy as the ocean, nothing but insecurity and fear reflecting in them.

you reached for his hands, holding them in a reassuring grip, fingers running over his knuckles in a pattern only you could interpret.

"darling, being a hero doesn't mean you always succeed. it means facing challenges, even when the odds are against you. it means being brave enough to admit when you may possibly make a mistake and it means allowing yourself to grow from the bad days. you can't control everything, but you can learn from it and keep going. you're not alone in this. you have all of us and we're always going to be there when you need us because you're always there when we need you. thats what makes you captain america, steve, your unrelenting ability to show empathy in the face of danger"

steve found solace in the warmth of your gaze. the weight on his shoulders didn't vanish, but the shared burden made it more bearable. "i love you so much" he said, leaning his forehead on yours.

bending down, he pressed his lips to yours, as you melted into the kiss, hands coming up to hold his jaw, as your thumbs ran along his cheekbone. he rested his palm on your waist, fingers splayed out and tracing a pattern, as his other hand reached up to caress your face.

you had to reach up to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down by the neck to meet your lips. he pulled you impossibly closer to him, hands gripping you so tight as if you would vanish into thin air.

before you knew it his lips were heavy on yours, hot and needy, each kiss becoming more and more desperate as his hands roamed the expanse of your body.

his tongue pushed against yours urgently, but you broke apart, panting heavily, to kiss his cheek and whisper a soft "i love you"

steve swore his heart melted as you spoke, fingers caressing your cheek as he scooped you up from below, letting your legs wrap around his waist, hands gripping your thighs tightly as he guided the both of you to the bedroom.

the bedroom embraced an alluring intimacy, its subdued lighting casting a warm, hazy glow that danced across the plush surfaces. a large canopy bed, draped in rich, dark linens, stood as the focal point, its soft contours inviting and enticing. the plush cushions and silken sheets glowed softly in the dim lights,

the air was infused with a subtle fragrance of vanilla and lavender, creating a sensory tapestry that heightened the atmosphere.

the heavy curtains were drawn, swaying in the gentle breeze from an open window, allowing a filtered moonlight to cascade into the room, creating a soft interplay of light and darkness.

candles were strategically placed on various surfaces, flickering with a mesmerizing rhythm, casting enchanting patterns across the walls, rose petals scattered on the bed and the loveseat in bedroom.

steve carried you into the room, awestruck at how you had set up the room for his arrival.

"you did this baby? for me?" he asked, eyes softening. "all for you my love" you assured, smiling softly at him. "all of this and all of me is for you" you whispered, pressing a kiss to his chest.

you felt him shudder softly against you, and the sudden pick up in his pace as he dropped you gently against the bed.

"i adore you" he murmured, pressing kisses all the way from your head to your forehead, trailing down your face, from the curve of your nose to your plump cheeks, pressing delicate kisses to the soft skin, before ultimately stopping at your lips.

he pressed his pink lips to yours, lips moulding into one as he let his body hover over yours. his tongue darted out to lick your lip, begging for entry and when he squeezed your hip and you let out a moan, he slid his tongue into your mouth, tongue clashing against yours, teeth stopping to sink into your lower lip, pulling it back to watch it snap back into place.

you kiss down his jaw, reveling in the soft sighing that he floods your ear when you near his throat. he groans when your mouth latches onto that sweet spot by his shoulder, your hot tongue sliding against his neck, with your chapstick tasting of shea butter and cherry, fingers dancing across the hem of his suit like a tease. his arms slide down to your top, the silky material scrunching up as he pulls it up, marvelling at the skin below.

"touch me" you whisper against his mouth with swollen lips and nudging noses. he sighs at the phrase, sea blue eyes never once leaving the comfort of yours. "touch me, use me, use me to get rid of your stress" you whisper, rocking your hips slowly against his.

you could feel his hard on against you, and you gently rolled your hips against his.

you were sure it got hard, this facade of being perfect all the time. so maybe just this once he needed to let go. let go of the gentleman person and fuck you raw till he was calmed down and satiated.

your shirt rides up even higher as steve drags a rough palm over your ribs, his rough hands have you jittering. his head rests on your stomach, lips pecking the area around your belly button and down your hip bone until you’re rotating your hips around him. "you're absolutely unbelievable" he groans as he gently licks around your sensitive belly button. he groans in pleasure when you tug on his hair, smiling when you say, "i dont know how lucky I got with you" he murmured.

"touch me. just touch me like you won’t ever stop" you whimper out, and steve studied the want in your glassy eyes and nodded softly, stroking his finger on either side of your cheek. the intimacy of the moment is jarring against how desperately the both of you want each other. but it's sensual and sweet because its a long buildup his finally being at peace.

agonizingly slow, his fingers dip down the waistband of your panties, cotton rubbing against the back of his hand as he curls his fingertips towards your pussy. the gentle notion makes your breath hitch, especially when he spreads your folds apart to expose the hood of your clit.

his middle finger circles draw leisurely over the sensitive nub with slow, rough circles and your thighs twitched.

his voice hitches in his throat as he observes your reaction. "oh, doll, you’re — oh, you’re just dripping, aren’t you?" he groans as you guide his hand further, the pads of his fingers dragging your arousal against your wet entrance. "my gorgeous, gorgeous girl" he whispered, pressing a sugar sweet kiss to your jaw.

"I'll always love you no matter what" you moan, scratching at his shoulders shamelessly, rocking on the heel of his hand for more friction. your eagerness spurs him on and so he increases the pressure, skimming his fingers over your folds and pressing ever-so-tantalizingly near your hole before he returns back to your clit. "fucking tease" you whine and he smirks.

your steve is usually demure even in bed, ever the perfect gentleman, gentle with you as if you'd snap into two if he was too harsh with you.

but this steve was daring and experimenting with his rough side.

your next sentence died in your throat, a soft gasp leaving your lips when he pushed his finger inside you, slow and deep enough to rip a whine right out of your throat from the stretchs.

he inhales loudly, eyes fixating on your mouth when you hopelessly sigh against his neck. you shift your knee higher up his leg, giving him more access to finger you. he hums at your expressions, mirroring them when you suckle dark marks just beneath his sharp jawline.

he mouths at your shoulder, leaving glistening patches of saliva in the wake of his sloppy kisses. you rock against the heel of his palm, mewling as he drags his fingers against your walls and he muffles his own moans against your skin.

"you’re so perfect" he groans, fucking his fingers in and out of you. the noises that leave your pussy and his throat are sinful, sounding like the harmonious mixture of splashing waves and delicate moans, his hand cupping your mound while he fingered you impatiently.

"fuck, Y/N. you’re making quite the mess, aren’t you, my angel? god, your moans are so fucking sweet to listen to"

"steve, your fingers..." you watch his wrist snap against you, juices squelching around him. you nearly sob, waterline beginning to water as the pleasure intensifies, "you get me so wet" you whimper and you hear the groan he tries to suppress at the juxtaposition of your angelic voice and face and the filthy words coming out of your pretty mouth.

"that’s good. I love pleasing you, you know that?" he asks as you clamp down onto the crook of his neck, teeth stifling your wrecked moans as he curls his middle and ring finger against that spongy spot inside you.

his touch is generous, and accompanied by his weathered hands, you can feel your orgasm approaching soon. he fucks you faster, thumb rubbing at your clit hard.

while others would resort to their own personal pleasure to de stress, it's your pleasure that brings steve relaxation. the fact that he could draw earth shattering orgasms from you was what helped him feel good and he knew that it was only when you were completely satisfied that he would be too.

you cry out into his chest, bite marks littering his skin as you hold him tight and gracelessly grind against him until you lose control over your climax.

your body shakes from your orgasm, gradually and slowly, steve's fingers scissoring carefully in and out of you.

your pussy pulses needily between your thighs, toes curling as you focus your attention on steve undressing. his suit comes off, discarded somewhere in some corner, his under clothes come off, and then finally, he drags his gray boxers down his legs, and his cock stands proudly, slapping against his stomach as he releases it from it's prison.

you moan as you take in the sight of his thick cock, long and girthy and big enough to leave you breathless as it always did. steve after all was a supersoldier, and his cock was to match. he also had incredible stamina and you knew he'd leave you exhausted.

he nears you again, heavy against you and you reach down to stroke him, smiling up at him, realising your hand doesnt fit all of him into your palm. his cock twitches again when you moan, a throb settling at the base of his spine with an uintelligible moan.

"stevie, baby, i want nothing more-" you strain, reaching behind your own hips to take ahold of his cock and line the weeping tip up perfectly "than for you to fuck me. i want you to fuck your pain and your distress away" you say, and his eyes darken with lust, the baby blues fading to black, like a dark and thunderous sky.

his dick catches against your clit first, causing your body to jolt in shock before you sweep him through your dripping folds. he grabs ahold of your hips, seemingly spellbound as to where else to hold you. his eyes flicker all across your bare skin, unable to settle on the best spot.

his teeth reach down to grab your nipple in between them, one hand reaching up to fondle the other. his tongue darts around the perk nipple, sliding all around it, saliva dripping all around it. your hips rut wildly at the pleasure on your sensitive nipples, and the feeling of the rough pads of his fingers toying with the other.

a chorus of gasps sounds between the two of you as you slowly roll down onto his dick, harmonizing almost like a symphony. he stretches you deliciously, and he's big. very big. perfectly filling. It’s akin to losing all sense of direction, unsure of up from down, left from right. your hips stutter and still from the shock because through your haze you feel steve thrust upward and into you to bridge the gap and you whine as he brushed a sensitive spot within you.

a high pitched wine of "oh fuck!* leaves your lips, and a deep groan echoes in steve's chest.

you groan, finally feeling him sink all the way into your pussy, already shaking from the overwhelming pleasure. before you can comprehend, hes bottoming out in your slick pussy.

rising back over the curve in his cock, you lift yourself back up until only his tip is pressed up against your pussy. you pause before you sink back down. you see the almost animalistic need in steve's eyes as he gazes up at you through his lashes, eyes following the clenching of his jaw.

the wet sound of your pussy being filled over and over echoes, the air that had held a chill seemingly warming at your shared activity. you can barely hear his groans, your heartbeat thrumming so loud in your ears that you’re convinced he can probably feel it thudding in your walls.

your eyebrows arch in bliss as the ridge of his head catches up against something so incredible that you’re drowning in pleasure, a light that must surely be heaven flooding your eyesight.

but it's not heaven no, it's a sight far better : your husband, mouth agape and head thrown back fucking into you like your life depended on it.

what you didn't expect was the harsh smack to your ass, his big hand smacking the sensitive skin of your ass and you let out an "oh!" skin stinging and pussy dripping, before the longing for more fills you.

"you like that, my pretty girl?" he asks, pinching the fat of your hips.

you merely moan in response, mind melting at the pleasure. a second smack to the ass follows, and a large vein-y hand grips your throat and forces you to look at him.

"words doll, words" he chides, and you stutter out a shaky "yes" your movements are stuttering at the way a familiar simmering feeling begins deep inside your abdomen, but steve doesn’t want you to stop. his hands take a firm grip of your hips, forcing them down as he begins to thrust up and into you in that same desperate pace.

he continued to brush against that part of you that just obliterated any coherent thought, your mind melting into sludge as pleasure overtook every nerve in your body.

his hands traced over your ass, still hovering between the edge of good boy steve and bad boy steve, but all it took for him to slip was your whimper of "spank me harder daddy" and he was gone.

your sweet gentle steve was replaced by an animal, hands delivering harsh smack after smack to the sensitive skin of your ass, feeling it burn red hot as his large lands landed on your ass with a harsh unoact.

the filthy sound of his hand slapping the jiggly surface of your ass and the sloppy, wet sound of his dick pounding into your pussy echoed around the room, and you had never been more glad for the fact that your floor was completely soundproofed.

you’re not exactly sure what part of his body you’re holding onto, the muscles canvas all melting into one, so far away from comprehension, but you know you’re holding it in a bruising grip, one that leaves a perfect impression of each of your fingertips that would most definitely remain imprinted on his skin.

sweat beaded and dripped down his forehead, as he continued thrusting and pounding into you as if his life depended on it.

your mewls and whimpers perfectly complimented his grunts and groans as his hips snapped further into yours.

your back arched off of the bed as he let your leg rest on his shoulder, pushing the other one away from you so you were perfectly spread out, pushing one leg far away enough so that it was almost touching your ear

the smirk on his lips told you that it was gonna be a long night and that steve wasn't done with you just yet. he grabbed your face, fingers lacking their usual gentility, digging into your cheekbones, before pushing your face sideways into the silky pillow, making you close your eyes at the contrasting sensation of your hot cheeks against the cold pillow, the feelings setting your body on fire.

the sensation of you digging your nails into his back, had his hips falterring and stuttering slightly as he let out another lke growl into his ear, as he allowed himself a moment to bask in the burn of the sting before regaining his pace and thrusting back "you're so, so fucking good, just squeezing me so well hmm?" he growled, grunting as your pussy squeezed him harder and your eyes shut.

you only raked your nails down harder, although your moans were slightly muffled, and the desperate whines leaving your lips fuelled, him, as he continued snapping his hips into you, nails digging into your thigh, the pleasurable sting sending you spiraling. you could feel ths tight muscles rippling in his back, and you scratched down the bare expanse of his back, knowing it always drove him crazy.

the red hot pleasure in the pit of your stomach began to tighten, making you pant. he started guiding his cock deeper into you, which you didn't think was possible, and placed your hand in the outline of his cock in your tummy, and the filthy sound of your wetness and the sounds of your skin slapping together echoed across the hotel room.

the bed began to knock against the wall, the thumping sounding sweeter than the sweetest symphony you had ever heard.

your eyes rolled to the back of your head once again, mouth falling open in a silent scream of pleasure. for a second, you thought you had floated into another dimension, a low hum filling your ears, and your body convulsing in pleasure.

you heard steve moan your name, before letting out a low grunt, feeling him release his chokehold on your throat and hips, watching as you squirted all over him.

your cum splattered him all over, and your vision almost went black from how hard you had just squirted on him.

he reached out to collect your cum on his fingers, licking it, moaning at your sweet taste. the sight had you blushing.

you thought you were done, but just as you began to come to terms with the force of your orgasm, you felt his thumb on your clit, making you jerk your hips away, shaking your head. "daddy please, no more, i can't, not anymore" you whined out, feeling your pussy throb.

"yes you can, one more my doll, just give me one more" he murmured, leaning down to kiss you again harshly, in a rough, dirty, demanding kiss.

you could feel his hips stuttering, his cock beginning to pulse inside you, his thrusts becoming sloppy, signalling he was close to his own orgasm.

you moaned into his mouth, taking the opportunity to suck his tongue. "come on captain, cum for me, wont you? you work so hard and I'm so fucking proud of all your hard work" you whispered into his ears, licking at the shell of his ear

at your words, he dropped his head into the crook of your neck, his tongue poking out to lick patterns on the skin there, and you could hear his low, soft grunts as he chased his release, making the veins in his neck pop.

you could see his body glistening in the layer of sweat that had covered him, he continued to thrust into you for a second or two more, before a deep groan left his swollen lips, and an even deeper moan of your name echoed in your ear, as he spurted his cum into your warm pussy with a groan, your pussy clamping down on him like a vice, milking his cock

your body shuddered at the warm liquid dripping into you in hot spurts, covering your pussy in his cum, moaning in pleasure as the warmth of his release spread through you, enveloping you in a warm daze. panting softly, he stayed enveloped in your warm walls.

the both of you cuddled into the silk sheets, the aur conditioning doing little to cook your overhead bodies. steve pressed tender kisses to your face and body, whispers of "my beautiful girl, my angel, my doll, i adore you" leaving his lips like a mantra.

his hands, now no longer rough with want, traced soft patterns on your flushed skin.

"was that too rough for you?" he asked, concern etched in his eyes and worry lines appearing on his face.

"not at all" you said, quickly quelling his fears.

"you should do that again" you smirked, giggling when he blushed red. "thank you for that my love" he said, raising your knuckles to his lips to press a soft kiss to them.

"you don't have to thank me, steve. I'm always here for you no matter what" you murmured.

you were slowly sinking into a daze, but you registered him pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead and heading to the bathroom

"I'll be back in just a second honey, I'm just getting some towels to clean us up" he explained, grinning at the pout adorning your bruised lips.

sure enough he came back, with cold towels to wipe you up with and a fresh set of pyjamas (his shirt and your shorts) to slip into, gently tugging you into the clothes and cleaning up the sticky mess on your thighs and cleaning you up.

he brushed the stray strands of your hair away from your face, pressing a soft kiss to your nose then your forehead, and then your lips.

he fed you a glass of cold water, and a piece of chocolate for a little bit of energy in the morning. cleaning himself up, he slipped into bed with you, his large arms wrapping you up, his head buried in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent as you snored softly beside him.

in the warmth of your embrace, he felt an unspoken reassurance. as he held you close, the rhythmic beating of your heart echoed a comforting melody

in that tender moment, he realized that in your arms, he was not just physically close, but emotionally anchored. the world outside ceased to matter as he embraced the profound sense of safety and love that enveloped the both of you, creating a sanctuary where worries melted away, leaving only the simple joy of being together.

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oporotheca · 27 days ago

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oporotheca | Hozier project m.list ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚

Info: Below you'll find the titles of the Hozier Album inspired fics I'm working on! Any posted pieces will contain a hyperlink. If you have any questions feel free to drop them in my inbox! ♡

Side note: All planned fics mentioned below will be x reader!!

Track List:

Take Me To Church (feat. poly!SatoSugu) - Oh, Amen

Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene (feat. Shoko Ieiri) - But I Swear It Is Sweet

Jackie And Wilson (feat. Satoru Gojo) - We’ll Name Our Children

Someone New (feat. poly!SaShiSu) - Fall in Love Just a Little

To Be Alone (feat. Satoru Gojo) - Kill the Lights and Kiss My Eyes

From Eden (feat. Suguru Geto) - Innocence Died Screaming (Honey, Ask Me, I Should Know)

In A Week (feat. poly!SatoSugu) - I’d Be Home With You (I’d Be Home With You)

Sedated (feat. Suguru Geto) - Adding Shadows to the Walls

Work Song (feat. poly!SaShiSu) - I’ll Crawl Home to Her

Like Real People Do (feat. Satoru Gojo) - We Could Just Kiss Like Real People Do

It Will Come Back (feat. Kento Nanami) - Honey, Don’t Feed Me

Foreigners God (feat. Ryomen Sukuna) - Breaking if I Tried Conveying

Cherry Wine (feat. "Suguru Geto") - I Have This (Some of the Time)

In The Woods Somewhere (feat. Satoru Gojo) - I Saw New Eyes Were Watching Me

Run (feat. Ryomen Sukuna) - Rare Is This Love

Arsonist's Lullabye (feat. poly!SatoSugu) - I Thought It Ended

My Love Will Never Die (feat. Suguru Geto) - Bursting Loud From Inside

Notice: While everything is more or less planned out, things like titles, characters, etc. are still subject to change.

Resources: dividers by @haecunt and @bernardsbendystraws

general m.list

#m.list #masterlist #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo x reader #jjk au #jjk fluff #satoru gojo x reader #geto suguru x reader #geto x reader #suguru geto x reader #geto x you #geto x y/n #sukuna x reader #shoko x reader #satosugu x reader #sashisu x reader #hozier project

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badbreed1111 · 4 months ago

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A man from Norfolk , VA called a local radio station to share this on Sept 11th, 2003, TWO YEARS AFTER THE TRAGEDIES OF 9/11/2001.

His name was Robert Matthews. These are his words:

A few weeks before Sept. 11th, my wife and I found out we were going to have our first child. She planned a trip out to California to visit her sister. On our way to the airport, we prayed that God would grant my wife a safe trip and be with her. Shortly after I said 'amen,' we both heard a loud pop and the car shook violently. We had blown out a tire. I replaced the tire as quickly as I could, but we still missed her flight. Both very upset we drove home.

I received a call from my father who was retired NYFD. He asked what my wife's flight number was, but I explained that we missed the flight.

My father informed me that her flight was the one that crashed into the southern tower. I was too shocked to speak. My father also had more news for me; he was going to help. 'This is not something I can't just sit by for; I have to do something.'

I was concerned for his safety, of course, but more because he had never given his life to Christ. After a brief debate, I knew his mind was made up. Before he got off of the phone, he said, 'take good care of my grandchild.' Those were the last words I ever heard my father say; he died while helping in the rescue effort.

My joy that my prayer of safety for my wife had been answered quickly became anger. I was angry at God, at my father, and at myself. I had gone for nearly two years blaming God for taking my father away. My son would never know his grandfather, my father had never accepted Christ, and I never got to say good-bye.

Then something happened. About two months ago, I was sitting at home with my wife and my son, when there was a knock on the door. I looked at my wife, but I could tell she wasn't expecting anyone. I opened the door to a couple with a small child.

The man looked at me and asked if my father's name was Jake Matthews. I told him it was. He quickly grabbed my hand and said, 'I never got the chance to meet your father, but it is an honor to meet his son.'

He explained to me that his wife had worked in the WorldTrade Center and had been caught inside after the attack. She was pregnant and had been caught under debris. He then explained that my father had been the one to find his wife and free her. My eyes welled up with tears as I thought of my father giving his life for people like this. He then said, 'there is something else you need to know.'

His wife then told me that as my father worked to free her, she talked to him and led him to Christ. I began sobbing at the news.

Now I know that when I get to Heaven, my father will be standing beside Jesus to welcome me, and that this family would be able to thank him themselves ..

When their baby boy was born, they named him Jacob Matthew, in honor of the man who gave his life so that a mother and baby could live.

Please take time to share this amazing story. You may never know the impact it may have on someone. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

Credit to original poster

Robert Timothy Cole 2014

#fox news #us news #maga morons #cnn news #democrats #donald trump #republican assholes #republicans #elon muskrat #itv news

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jackassbrainrot · 9 months ago

Text

confession [knoxville x gn!reader]

a/n: day 2 - priest kink, inspired by his iconic 2004 driver license and by fleabag of course. it's a very cliche priest kink fic scenario but let me be

warnings: sacrilege, oral sex (m!receiving)

word count: 712

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." You said as you sat down in the confessional, trembling slightly for the first time since your first confession as a child. The little screen separating you wasn't enough to ease your anxiety, knowing you were so close to him. "It's been 6 months since my last confession." Six months since he came to your church. Six months since your mind got overtaken by thoughts of him.

"These are my sins." And with that, you took a deep breath, followed by a beat of silence as you collected your thoughts. You listed off the usual, everyday sins, but when it came time to confess what you really came for, you couldn't find the strength to say it. You shifted in your seat, taking another deep breath before speaking.

"I've been having lustful thoughts, Father." An understanding hum was heard from the other side of the confessional. "About... a priest." You could've sworn you heard him chuckle and you felt more exposed than ever in your life, even behind the screen.

"And what is it that you've been thinking about?" The smirk in his voice was apparent, almost taunting. It felt like the words were being pulled out of you by an invisible force, detailing all the late night thoughts of him taking you in various positions and various places in the church.

There was another moment of silence and your anxiety spiked, thinking you'd gone too far, offended him, disgusted him even. But just as your thoughts started racing, the door of the confessional opened, his lean figure standing over you, looking down with darkened eyes.

"Kneel." Was all he said, and you did, falling to your knees in front of him, eyes never leaving his. His fingers threaded through your hair as he unbuttoned his slacks and you came face to face with the subject of your late night fantasies. You opened your mouth expectantly and another chuckle left his mouth, running the tip against your lips before pushing in.

His dick hit the back of your throat, making you gag around it which pulled a low groan from his chest. He let you do the work, bobbing your head up and down rhythmically, almost in a daze, taking what you were given gratefully. You whined when he pulled his dick out of your mouth, keeping your head in place by your hair as you tried to chase the contact.

"Continue your confession." He all but growled, his usually warm eyes filled with lust, stroking his dick mere inches from your face. And so you did as he said, looking up at him with desperate eyes.

"My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against You whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with Your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. In his name, my God, have mercy."

As soon as the last word of the prayer left your, his dick was hitting the back of your throat again. He fucked your mouth mercilessly as he prayed: "God, the Father of mercies, through the death and the resurrection of His Son has reconciled the world to Himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins."

His words were getting breathier, his movement sloppier. "Through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father" thrust "and of the Son" thrust "and of the Holy Spirit."

And with the last word, he came, painting the inside of your throat white. You swallowed gratefully, feeling closer to God than during any eucharist of your life. "Amen." You said as you wiped your spit slicked lips, getting up and watching Father Johnny straighten himself out.

Just as you were about to leave, squeezing past him through the confessional door, he grabbed your hand, stopping you in your tracks. He flashed you his signature smile, all teeth and southern charm.

"I hope to see you at confession again next week."

#hellooooo father johnny #yes I grew up catholic how did you know #johnny knoxville #johnny knoxville x reader #jackass fanfic #jackass fic #jackass x reader

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bellysoupset · 5 months ago

Note

Would love a mini fic or Drabble with Jonah and Leo cuddling on the couch watching a movie and one of them is just rubbing the others belly just to touch and be close to them, but then they notice that the others belly is getting more and more bloated.

jonah burping leo 🫡

These two asks came together, so here you go. Important: Not following the current timeline, just slot it wherever

--------------------

Jonah let out a yawn, walking to the living room couch with a bowl of popcorn and with JD following his footsteps, trying to grab the hem of his sweatpants.

He snorted at the cat, sitting down next to Leo and passing his boyfriend the popcorn bowl, before crouching down to grab their cat and smooching her. JD let out a pitiful meow, lying in his arms like a baby.

He sat down, leaning his back against Leo's side and smiling as Leo wrapped an arm around his shoulders, even if he wasn't paying attention. The blonde's eyes were glued to the screen, where they were broadcasting the news before a rerun of Moulin Rouge.

They were probably the only people in their town who still had cable, but whatever, it was one of the amenities their building offered. Leo was shoveling handful after handful of popcorn in his mouth, making Jonah wonder if he was annoyed or hungry.

"Do you want something more filling than popcorn for dinner?" Jonah turned his head, grabbing a handful himself and JD jumped from his lap in order to go inspect their television.

"No," Leo squirmed on the couch, so he was lying sideways and pulled Jon to him, "c'mere."

Jonah let out a happy sigh at the familiar position, resting his cheek to Leo's lower belly and watching the news with half closed eyes. He could so easily fall asleep with Leo's fingers carding through his hair, "Oi! Asshole, are you wiping your greasy fingers in my hair?! I'll kill you!"

Leo cackled, holding out his hand, "no, wrong hand. I'd never, I love your curls-" he leaned in half, pressing a kiss to the top of Jon's head and the man let out a huff.

"Yeah, now a greasy kiss. I'll have to wash it later," Jonah wrinkled his nose, but turned slightly, pressing a kiss of his own on Leo's belly. His boyfriend flexed his abs, causing Jonah to grin, "you're such a show off, Leo," he traced the quadrants he knew were there, under Leo's oversized hoodie, "a tease."

"I'm not a te-" Leo's weak complaint died in his throat as Jonah pushed up his shirt and planted a hand on his belly. He let out a little sigh, "what are you doing?"

"What do you think?" Jonah snapped, continuing to rub his hand on the expanse of Leo's midriff, a little mesmerized. He was so corny, mentally waxing poetics about the creamy skin, the scattered dark dots that appeared near his shoulders, the delicate contours of his muscles now that he wasn't flexing them, the trail of golden hairs vanishing inside his pants... "ugh, you're so handsome."

Leo's cheeks turned pink, but he had a splitting smile on as Jonah continued to rub his tummy and press kisses all over it. Jon didn't even bother glancing at the news, even when that turned into the movie, all too busy... He frowned as a little burp escaped Leo, bubbling up and dying in his throat.

Jonah moved between his legs, resting his cheek on Leo's chest and continuing to poke his belly, frown deepening as the minutes dragged on and the gurgles that were nonexistent an hour before became constant. The shadow of Leo's abs quadrants had vanished and when he moved, uncomfortably, Jonah noticed a soft pink line where his sweatpants were pressing on him.

"Did the popcorn upset your stomach?" he asked, not bothering to lift up his head, voice all distorted since his face was pressed to Leo's chest.

He felt the blonde jerk with another little burp that didn't make it past his lips, "uhm..." he shoved Jonah's shoulder slightly, a clear tell for him to move, and nodded as they sat up correctly, "too much grease..."

Jonah moved, wrapping an arm behind his back and with his free hand pushing Leo's bangs back. His boyfriend had turned pale and he was blowing out little airy burps, but that did nothing to bring him any relief, "the belly rub wasn't helping?"

Leo shook his head, gulping down air and then letting out a whine when it didn't work, "too full..." he groaned, tugging on the neckline of his sweater, "I don't- It's not sitting well..."

Jonah could easily pinpoint the nausea in his fiancé's voice. He rubbed Leo's back, "I think you just have the burp," he decided, then started to softly pat Leo's back. It took a minute, causing the blonde to groan, but then a small burp rolled past his lips, followed by another, another-

"Ohgo-UUurep-" a huge belch exploded out of his mouth, brassy and causing Leo to cough at the end as it carried a splash of reflux. His cheeks turned red, "wow... Fuck," he breathed out, relieved, "fuck."

"You're such a baby," Jonah rolled his eyes, fondly, pressing a kiss to Leo's temple and continuing to pat his back, "c'mon, give me another big one then we're heading to bed. Bedtime for the baby."

"You're suuuuch a dic-UUORP-" Leo raised his eyebrows, spooked at the depth of the belch, turning to look at Jonah with a surprised expression, "oh my-BWOUURR-uuurrrrOOOOOooooooourrrrp!”

Jonah stared at him, as Leo's face turned cherry red, not just because of embarrassment, but because of how long the burp was. Then he threw his head back and let out a yell, starting to cackle.

"Bloody hell, Leo!"

"Shut uuup," the blonde whined, wrapping both arms around his tummy and rocking on the couch, avoiding his eyes, "Jonaaaah, shut up!"

Jonah continued to shake with giggles, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just- What the fuck, dude."

"Don't call me dude, I'm your fiancé," Leo glared at him, then made an uneasy face, "I feel queasy."

Jonah's chuckle tapered off and he leaned in, "you feel queasy?" he asked sardonically, in a baby voice, but his gestures were soft as he pulled Leo into an embrace, "c'mere, baby."

"You're so mean to me," Leo groaned, pressing his forehead to Jonah's shoulder and muffling a little burp against his chest, "be nice, I feel sick."

"Maybe next time don't eat the full popcorn bowl before the movie even starts?" Jonah grinned, but curled up around Leo like an octopus, falling on his back and pulling the blonde on top of him, "my poor baby."

"Beee niiice," Leo whined, but he was smiling, cuddling up with him and letting out a satisfied sigh as Jonah kissed his forehead, "yeah, like that."

#mywriting #leo wagner #eructo #burping #minific!

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amusedphan · 1 year ago

Text

i was humming off danandphilbeats lazy saturday and it occurred to me that it would be a sick beat to rap to. (i have never rapped before). and, uh. <3

youtube

(↑yewchube for views) also why is this the best keys solo i've done in my life

lyrics under readmore bc fuck knows i'm lyric blind at least (look at my double entendres boy):

paying bills with creativity is never quite the same

tear your soul apart and sell it to a demon known as fame

being thrust into the limelight, a martyr-turned-saint

we all want the sacrifice but no one wants the pain

o, holy, patron saint of the gaze

that we cast upon you, where we choose to erase

all that splits you in two—no longer abstruse

when we raze what we choose—until we relate to the

things that you do and the words that you say,

to the people you are - why, it’s better this way!

you can make no mistakes, you are toys for our play

we’ll give you our money for your lives as our pay

come change the precedent, come change the game

come change the meaning of love once again

don’t be so reticent, don’t be ashamed

we know what you’re feeling, we know everything

amen, two men, why’d i care about them?

were they my paper dolls, my imaginary friends?

well i loved them as a girl, now i love them as a man

open up can-a-di-can

i’m not a rapper, i’m a poet

so lemme pick these seeds of words and maybe then i’ll sow it

keep it down to earth with the way i’m hoein’ round

i’ve planted my ideas, now it’s time to break it down

[sick fl studio pack whirley solo break]

died for our sins, from our sins you arise

only truth in lion’s being part of a pride

this was not an accident, just a surprise

that we’ve never been alone when we’re different inside

trials and tribulations, you’ve bestowed us exaltations

more precious than all riches, you have given us hope

that has pulled us through the night, found us warmth, gave us light, even

living as an adult, when i find the need to cope, i’ll be

playin paper dolls on my lazy saturday

#dan and phil #phan #danandphilbeats #dnp #phil lester #daniel howell #amazingphil #pleeeeeaseee pwease interact w the youtube video and reblog. it only took like two days to finish writing the lines and a day to record/do #the solo. mastering actually took up a lot of that bc i just fuck around and find out. but i'm akshually kinda proud of this one #dont cry craft #mandont #Youtube

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toporecall · 6 months ago

Text

Chapter 4. Like A True Unbeliever

We're back! Got a sudden surge of motivation to continue this story. Let the angst and flirting continue :)

AO3 or read under the cut

Prev chapters: [1] [2] [3]

Chapter Summary: Beron changes his mind, Rhys starts to melt down and makes a revelation. Angst, intrigue, flirting, jealously, shooting for all the favs.

Feyre had drifted off to sleep at some point but woke early. She dressed, doing her best to make herself look presentable though she knew she had shadows under her eyes and looked paler than normal. She chose a pale pink gown, hoping it would offset some of the paleness. Plus Tamlin would like it, which she supposed was a good gesture.

She drifted down for breakfast, making polite chitchat as needed.

Kallias and his advisors had been called back to Winter Court to deal with some issues there. Other than that, everyone had stayed the night and gathered again in the meeting room to continue discussions.

To everyone’s surprise, it was Beron who started off the meeting.

“I’ve been thinking, Tamlin. After some consideration, I do think we could host half of your civilian population in our lands were the need to arise. Assuming, Tarquin is still amenable to hosting the other half in Summer.”

Feyre nearly choked on her tea. She could feel heat crawling across her chest, up her neck to her cheeks. She hadn’t done it. She hadn’t gone through with it. Why was he changing his mind?

She would spend the next several days wondering why the very first thing she did upon hearing this was look up and meet Rhys’s sharp gaze, aimed directly at her. His jaw was clenched tightly. Even Mor seemed to notice, looking over at him curiously.

I didn’t go through with it! she almost wanted to shout.

But another part of her wanted him to think she did, to think she’d be willing to go that far.

Tarquin had already agreed to host the other half of Spring Court civilians were Hybern to start their invasion here as predicted.

Tamlin seemed as surprised as Feyre, though he was doing a decent job of concealing it. “That’s wonderful news, thank you both.”

“Yes, I’m relieved to know our citizens will have somewhere safer to go if needed,” Feyre said in a sweet voice. “I’m curious, Beron, what made you change your mind?”

Tamlin side eyed her but stayed silent.

Beron merely shrugged one shoulder. “Someone bent my ear,” he said, “and I realized I have more to gain than lose from this arrangement. It never hurts to be owed a favor.” He smiled at her and she was chilled to the bone. She kept up her own innocent smile but inside her mind was racing. Was he trying to corner her into owing him?

She once again found her gaze sliding to Rhys who looked like he was about to crack a tooth. Let him think what he wants. It was none of his business anyway.

Beron’s change of mind set a good tone for the rest of the morning. It was decided that Spring Court would move its people into camps just inside the borders of Summer and Autumn in the event of an invasion. To everyone’s surprise, Rhysand even agreed to send part of his Illyrian army to defend the borders if needed. In the meantime, Helion and Rhysand would send spies out to try to learn more about Hybern’s plans and every court would begin fortifying their armies just in case.

If Feyre had to say one thing about the High Lords of Prythian, they took the good with the bad better than most. And they knew how to throw a party. It was becoming clear that every time they got together, there was some sort of celebration as well.

And that night was no exception. In fact, since planning had for once gone so smoothly, it was a particularly joyous celebration at Spring Court with all the High Lords in attendance as well as their families, trusted advisors, and some dignified Spring Court guests. A large table had been set up in the lawn, complete with lace tablecloth, candles, flowers, and soft fae lights floating here and there, giving the whole thing a magical and ethereal air.

Dinner had already been eaten and now guests drifted here and there, mingling, drinking, playing the games that had been left out from the day before. Beyond the circle of light surrounding the table, the treed lawn quickly descended into darkness. From her perch at the edge of the gathering, Feyre noticed a few couples here and there disappearing into the darkness with a glance over their shoulders.

One of those couples happened to be Helion and Mor, Feyre noted. They’d returned about twenty minutes later with Mor looking flushed and Helion suppressing a grin.

Despite doing her best as hostess, Feyre had successfully avoided any one on one conversation with Beron. And with Rhysand, for that matter. That is, until the latter sidled up to her as she stood in the shadows between two arborvitae trees, watching the group under the warm glow of the lights.

Rhysand took a spot next to her, also turning to watch the party. He handed her a glass without looking at her.

“Thought you might need a refill,” he said, leaning toward her ear.

“You seem to have a habit of keeping an eye on my drinks,” she replied, taking the glass from him and sipping from it.

“It’s a good excuse to talk to you.”

She turned her head to look at him and pointedly ignored the way the glow from the lights reflected back at her from his eyes.

“If you’re flirting with me to try to make Spring into a closer ally, I promise I don’t have as much sway over Tamlin’s decisions as you’re imagining.” Again, why does she keep saying things like this to him? Something about him loosens her tongue and makes her reveal far too much. She resolved to do a better job of holding back.

Whether she’d incidentally revealed something important or not, he didn’t seem to react to it.

“I don’t need more of a reason to flirt with you, Feyre darling.”

She didn’t take the bait this time.

“Are you worried about Amarantha visiting? Lucien mentioned you two have some history.”

His eyes shuttered in a way she wasn’t expecting and he stood straighter, more stiffly, before apparently trying to recover his usual laissez-faire demeanor.

“I don’t do worried,” he said, sipping his drink and looking out at the group mingling around the lawn. “What did fox boy have to say?”

“Not much, that’s why I’m asking you.”

He seemed to think for a moment. When he started speaking again he still wasn’t looking at her. “Most of us are very old and there is a lot of history. Amanrantha is…all I’ll say for Amarantha is however she appears at the wedding, do not trust her. I don’t know what game she’s trying to play here but whatever it is, it can’t be good.”

Feyre couldn’t articulate exactly what she was feeling or why but she had a sinking feeling deep inside of her, a feeling akin to being pushed down deep underwater and knowing you can’t get back up. She did her best to shake that off and laughed coldly.

“Well if I wasn’t worried before, I am now.”

Feyre watched as Beron and Tamlin chatted over their drinks, the soft light glinting off the golden buttons of his dark green tunic. She found herself wondering for the dozenth time that day who or what convinced Beron to change his mind about the Spring Court civilians if it hadn’t been her.

Rhys followed her gaze. “Well, your plan worked, it seems.”

“We’re very fortunate he changed his mind,” she replied evasively. Let him think what he wants.

“Perhaps one day you can make such a deal with me.”

Feyre knew he said that to goad her. Instead, she pasted on a coy smile, looked him directly in the eye, and used her sweetest voice. “What do you have to offer?”

One side of his mouth slid into a suggestive smile and his eyes flicked down to her lips. “I’m sure I can think of something.” Heat flooded her cheeks. Before she could think of a reply or even collect herself enough to roll her eyes, he clinked the edge of his glass against hers. “Cheers, Feyre.” He knocked back the rest of his drink and walked off toward Mor.

It wasn’t until he stepped away that Feyre felt her heart racing in her chest. She hoped he hadn’t noticed but doubted she was that lucky.

She looked up and saw that Tamlin was headed her way. She tried her best to calm herself before Tamlin stepped in front of her.

“What was that about?”

“Oh nothing.” She smiled up at him. “Just some friendly chit chat.”

Tamlin grimaced. “Rhysand is anything but a friend. You shouldn’t trust him.”

“We’re all allies now, Tamlin.”

“Yes, well, allies or no—Rhysand had a hand in my father’s death. Not to mention, he sits on the throne of his Court of Nightmares.”

Feyre was suddenly flooded with a feeling of guilt. This was her betrothed standing in front of her. The male she’d fallen for just months ago. Sure, life with him might not look like what she thought it would but that didn’t mean she could just be running around flirting with other males.

She took his hand in hers. “You’re right, of course. I’ll be more careful.”

She stood on her toes and kissed him, soft and sweet. She pulled away and opened her eyes, her gaze drifting over Tamlin’s shoulder to find Rhys looking right at them. He turned and said something to Mor who also turned to look at Feyre and Tamlin before they both winnowed into the night.

Rhys tapped the edge of his glass against Feyre’s. “Cheers Feyre,” he said before downing the rest of his drink and walking away. Tamlin was heading toward them and he wasn’t in the mood for that conversation.

He crossed the lawn to Mor who had just finished her own conversation with Kallias and Vivian. She looked up at him as he approached and her eyes widened.

“What’s wrong? Did you figure out what made Beron change his mind?”

That had been the supposed objective of his evening. They were obviously not upset that the people of Spring Court would have somewhere to go but they did want to be aware of any backdoor deals being made so they could prepare for possible implications. He hadn’t yet told Mor about what he’d caught Feyre doing the night before. Really, there was a lot he hadn’t told Mor. Or anyone, for that matter.

Rhys shook his head. “I couldn’t do it.”

“What do you mean you couldn’t do it? Can’t you just look inside his mind? Or Feyre’s if you think she has something to do with it?”

“You know I don’t like digging through people’s minds as a general rule.” Somewhat true. In times of war, it felt justified to protect his people and his loved ones. It’s why he’d been in her head in the first place to see those delicious fantasies she was having about him that he still hadn’t been able to get off his mind. And how he overheard her conversation with Beron that night at the Summer ball. But then he’d started to realize what she was to him and suddenly being in her mind seemed like an invasion. “And anyway,” he continued, “I’m pretty sure I know what made him change his mind and I don’t think I can handle seeing it.”

Mor’s eyes widened and she looked over at Feyre before looking back at Rhys. “Oh, you think she—”

He really didn’t want to hear the words out loud. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure she did. I overheard him… suggest it to her at Summer Court.” And just the idea of seeing her and Beron together, or her and Tamlin, for that matter, was enough to make him dig his nails into his own palm.

Mor bit her bottom lip and nodded. “Poor girl. But I don’t understand why you can’t just look to make sure there’s not something else going on?”

Rhys closed his eyes tightly and let out a sigh. He was going to have to say it out loud. Which would make it all the more real.

“She’s my mate.”

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Mor looked truly shocked.

“Are you…are you sure?” Rhys nodded. “But she’s…oh, Rhys.”

He knew. Obviously she didn’t need to say it. But she’s engaged. But she’s marrying your enemy. Mor’s shock turned to pity which he absolutely could not stand.

They both looked up back toward where he’d just been standing. Feyre was looking up at Tamlin, her hand in his. She was so beautiful, even more beautiful at night with the moonlight glinting silver in her hair. She stood on her toes and pressed her lips to Tamlin’s. The cauldron was a funny thing, finally giving him his mate after 500 years and doing it like this.

Feyre pulled away from Tamlin and looked over his shoulder, right into Rhys’s eyes.

“Let’s get out of here,” he said to Mor. “I think I have an idea that you’re really not going to like.”

--------------

taglist (let me know if you'd like to be added/removed!): @the-lonelybarricade @popjunkie42 @magic-and-ships @starfall-spirit @soopsiedaisies

#angst intrigue and flirting #if forever gets lonely #acotar #feysand #a court of thorns and roses #rhys x feyre #feysand fic

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imcrazierthanyouloosers · 1 year ago

Text

My favorite parts of my production of urinetown (Part One)

Hot Blades Harry=Bisexual

Cladwell=cunty

"Bobby," *GRABS HOPE AND PULLS HER FORWARDS INTO AN EMBRACE "Bobby strong"

Tiny Tom adlibbing "oh my god" (in a demonic voice) after being told he'll die

Little sally swinging her teddy bear around in a circle in the act one finale

Lifting up our local twink during act one finale with Barrel and another guy as we slow-mo fight from inside the amenity

The entirety of cop song having moves from company

Lockstock almost kissing Barrel

Lockstock being nose to nose with Bobby several times

"And we're all so poor!" *entire poor literally has breakdown*

Hope directing stage crew at one point

An unprecedented amount of murder

The splat after cladwell dies

Old man strong and Bobby being five feet away from each other with nothing between them and just...reaching out. That's it. No running, no moving.

Everyone turning to stare at little sally after run freedom run to make her awkwardly answer Bobby

Holding buttons of several songs until directed to break from them by bobby and cladwell respectively

"STWUMPET"

Hope waving goodbye to the audience cheerfully as Lockstock narrates her death

Bobby strong shrugging at Hope when she asks "when will I see you again" and then walking off

Pennywise and Josephine strong have a secret queer past

More to follow

#urinetown #officer lockstock #little sally #hot blades harry #officer barrel #caldwell b cladwell #hope cladwell #bobby strong

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annaskareninas · 10 months ago

Text

Chapter 8 out now! | Or read from beginning

Chapter summary: With no choices remaining, Feyre unhappily submits to marriage with Rhysand, accompanying him north to his ancestral home.

Snippet below cut!

He looked up at me, lifting my hand a little in his, his thumb warm against my bare skin. “With this ring I thee wed,” he murmured, breath ghosting over the back of my hand. “With my body I thee worship.” A strange prickling flush spread through me. “And with all my worldly goods I thee endow: in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.” He stepped back, lowering my hand, and the unnatural tension that had been spooling between us shattered. “Amen.”

“Amen,” the minister muttered. He then began to pray, again, but the words faded to a background buzz. I felt hot all over, dizzy and confused; the ring was a heavy weight on my finger, yet inside me, something jumped, liquidy and light.

The minister joined our hands for a final time. “Those whom God hath joined let no man put asunder,” he intoned, and I felt a flash of guilt at the annulment that would be coming his way in a year’s time. “I now pronounce thee man and wife, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost; amen!”

Rhysand turned me towards the congregation, joined hands raised high. A smile spread across his face, so wide and natural if I hadn’t known better I’d have been utterly convinced it was genuine. Cheers rang out through the church, petals fluttering from hands.

“Smile, Feyre darling,” Rhysand muttered through his teeth. “This is supposed to be the happiest day of your life – act like it.”

So, the normal Rhysand was back. That strange, husky intimacy that had overtaken us as he had slipped the ring on my finger…had that been nothing more than my imagination?

I plastered a fake grin onto my face, trying to mimic the way Ianthe had smiled so beatifically, fluttering her lashes and dimpling her cheeks, and it seemed to work: certainly, no-one looked the slightest bit concerned or shocked as we made our way back down the aisle as…

As man and wife.

Husband. He was my husband.

And just like that, Feyre Archeron died. She bled out on those smooth tiled floors, back snapping under the weight of a hundred nobles’ eyes, and breathed her last, jerking and fitting, at the bishop’s feet.

Leaving the church, climbing into the carriage that would bear me and my husband away to our marital bed and home and life…I was reborn Duchess Feyre Velaris.

#my writing #fanfiction #acotar #acotar fic #a court of thorns and roses #feysand #feyre archeron #sjmaas

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stillaclownlol · 1 year ago

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We reached our viewership goal of exactly 1 person, so genderbent doodles + notes under the cut

Asher Banner

-i lowkey forgot why I put him as 16 I think I just drew him as like a sophomore or smth-

-the most stone faced mf ever

-he got his autism diagnosis amen. He doesn't bother masking he's just really antisocial

-He flops so hard around Aida every time (she jumpscares him)

Aida Clark

-sk8ter girl 😔 and she does parkour too. Just for fun.

-a little more sensitive. If she takes her meds (she got diagnosed too yay!) She's super spaced out tho.

-grows her roots out before dyeing her hair. Poking holes in her face is also interesting (piercings)

-wants to kiss Asher so bad it makes her look stupid. The biggest girl failure in the universe

"Lo" Fields

-Lo is short for smth but she's too embarrassed by her full name.

-got socialized to be even more shy and sensitive than in canon- 🫠 she's permanently 4 seconds away from a nervous breakdown

-Good Christian granddaughter. (The guilt is eating her alive)

-Still does Barron's homework she just also has to deal with his misogynistic comments (I'm too lazy to genderbend everybody)

Tylar Hernández

-parentified to hell 🤧 mothers her brother too much

-on the varsity baseball team at school. Used to do track.

-consistently annoyed and has a rbf.

-in love with a nerd- WHO SAID THAT-

"Benny" Clark

-Short for Benjamina, dies if you use her full name

-still 6ft tall and she's really strong from all the street fighting :(

-camera girl for all of Aida's extreme stunts, kinda stressed out-

-the eepiest girl ever

Tailer Hernández

-he so smiley :) happiest guy :)

-wants his sister to work less hard :< inside he's very guilty

-works at an auto repair shop part time. Smells like motor oil.

-wants to grow his hair out but Ty always cuts it and he hasn't had the heart to tell her yet (cuz he wants to sibling bond)

#sbg #school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #sbg (webtoon)#aiden clark #ashlyn banner #tyler hernández #taylor hernández #logan fields #ben clark #genderbend

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murfpersonalblog · 1 year ago

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IWTV S2 Ep4 Musings - Baby LouLou

Yeah, Louis' right: this whole joint is WEIRD. It's SICK.

Did she literally take a dump? Or lay an egg? Lord, wtf am I watching?

It's like Disney and Dr Seuss got married & had Rosemary's Baby.

More caged bird bird analogies and suicidal ideation.

And it's a YELLOW bird, too--AMC STOP IT, MY FEELS.

NOOOOOO. No sunshine! BAD sunshine!

Nail in the coffin/birdie/child.

Amputation foreshaowing perhaps? Of another body part of Claudia's that will get cut off by the Coven, before she dies? Hrm....

And the COMPLICIT audience is lapping it all up, it's just syrup. (NGL I lowkey want one of those umbrellas.)

Lesmand's tower scene foreshadowing?

This image is cursed. Ghost!Claudia's dress looks a yellowish--UGH.

Sam, you need to be studied.

Louis & Santiago finally have something in common. Cuz SAME! Wtf. Like wtF?

LOL! Luchenbaum said this song is so bad it gives him child abuse PTSD! 😭

Jeeze. 😅 Marked reversal--cuz Claudia LOVES Santiago's performances, esp. No Pain. Like--NGL, I hate the song, too, it's deliberately awful, LOL. But methinks the vamp doth protest too much--maybe you're hating cuz someone's stealing the spotlight from YOU? 😜😜😜

Literally her feelings in S1 post-Ep5 about Loustat. GOD.

Both "Birdie" Baby LouLou AND Louis are caught in a trap, amen.

Armand has some nerve--maybe y'all need new frikkin material!? How the heck do you play the same exact shows 500 times in a row?! Just shows how DEAD INSIDE these vamps are--not even monotony & excessive repetition registers for them; that someone could lose their "childlike wonder" once the novelty wears off. Louis gets it, but Armand doesn't--he represents the vampire trope of them easily getting lost in hypnotic patterns--which is why in some lore they can get stuck counting spilled rice/beans/sand & beans, and staring at flecks of light on a fly's wing or microwaving 1000 rats a night or whatever. book!Daniel had it WAY worse, but Armand had it, too. (And lord, don't get me started on Lasher....)

SELF-sabotage, Mr. I Could Not Prevent It. The only thing "bromidic" here is YOUR "creative" vision! Give her a new play, DANG! 😡

#justice for claudia #interview with the vampire #iwtv tvc metas #must see tv #the hype is real #my iwtv ep reactions

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moldwood · 9 months ago

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i've had a bluesky for probably a year or so but have never ever used it because i don't have the energy or time for more than one social media. until tumblr dies i'll be here 99% of the time, but art may start to be posted over there at least. all that is to say i logged in to make sure i still had the urls and saw this on the homepage feed whatever

I CANNOT IMAGINE THE WORLD TWITTER USERS HAVE BEEN LIVING IN WHERE THIS IS MINDBLOWING. COULD YOU IMAGINE NOT BEING ABLE TO edit:im adding a read more for the people on mobile. don't click it. it's just to prove a point about the ridiculous number of characters you can have in a tumblr post

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp… under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of… …9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as… Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right.

At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything?

We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.

Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal… - Is it still available?

Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler.

Barry, what do you think I should… Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine… What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector!

Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow… the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This… Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that… …kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement?

I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you… I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway… Oan I… …get you something?

Like what? I don't know. I mean… I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look… There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you…? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then… I guess I'll see you around.

Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again… for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but… Anyway… This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well… - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's… human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that?

They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up… Sit down! …really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering.

A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah.

What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something?

Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung.

Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week… He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots… Next week… Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?!

You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting… - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively?

A privilege. Mr. Benson… you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you.

No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but… the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right… there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that?

Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night… My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it.

Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers… Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute… Are you her little… …bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but… - So those aren't your real parents!

Oh, Barry… - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I… I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all… All adrenaline and then… and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking.

That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about… Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man?

What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames… But it's just a prance-about stage name! …unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating?

They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now… Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course… The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me.

Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry… sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic… …without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security.

You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species… What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory… That's Barry! …is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane.

I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small… Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac?

Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that?

It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

#long post #don't uncollapse. i'm not kidding. it's a longer scroll than do you love the color of the sky.

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