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#and i cant tell if they care or not so i just give them a half-hearted explanation to judge their interest
1byhwng · 1 day
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16 with chan pleasee 🫶🏻🫶🏻 make it as angsty as possible hehe
prompt 16 - “we’re done”
member; Chan
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The one thing you thought would never happen with Chan happened. You’ve always thought he was a great guy, never capable of doing anything so low.
You were wrong and you hate that you were, you wish it wasn’t true. It’s sad to think about..the amazing caring Chan cheating on you, with your best friend.
you haven’t talked to him about it but it was clear that you were distancing yourself from him. But he didn’t seem to mind.
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It’s been weeks since you’ve last seen chris..your own boyfriend. He hasn’t even been replying to your texts at all and when he did he’d send short answers not even a ´love you’ just a ‘ttyl’. He would rarely send any pictures to show how he was doing or called to hear your voice.
You’re sitting on the couch reading when you hear a knock at the door. You set your book down and walk to the door opening it to see Chan there with a bouquet of flowers, all of the flowers were your favorite colors.  “Hey baby” he says walking handing you the bouquet before giving you a short kiss. You just stood there unsure of what to say or do.
you look at the flowers, it was a very pretty arrangement of course but your gut just wouldn’t let you be happy about it. It wouldn’t let you be happy about finally seeing your boyfriend. It wouldn’t let you forget the fact that he cheated on you with your best friend.
You could see the confusion in his eyes as the silence fill the room. “Do you not like them? I can take them back and get different ones.” He says in a hurried manner.
you don’t respond for a moment, your mind running a thousand miles a minute.
You feel tears brim your eyes as you look up at him “you cant just show up to my house…after completely ignoring me for weeks.” Your handd tightening around the bouquet. “Baby..you know I’ve been busy-“ you shove the bouquet back in his hands already having enough of his excuses “busy cheating on me by fucking my best friend?!” You could see the shock in his face “Y/N it’s not like that, I promise you.” He reaches out to you but you move away “I wouldn’t do that to you..”
“but you did, Chris. You did the one thing I didn’t think you would do.”
He stays silent as he sees your state. He could tell you’ve probably already known about it. “please let me explain…I promise it will make sense.” You clench your fist as he speaks. “You don’t have to.” You say taking a breath before speaking again “we’re done”. The look on Chan’s face breaks you but not as much as it broke you when you found out he cheated.
“you’ve got to be joking, Y/N? Please tell me you’re joking.” He says his eyes tearing up. “Please leave Christopher.” You say looking away from him. “Don’t call me that.” He cringes as you say his government name. You shrug and motion to the door trying to hold back any more tears. “I won’t ask again, leave.” You speak in a stern tone.
“Fine.” You watch as he walks to the door. He stops and tosses the bouquet to you. “I still love you..I did something stupid and yes that was my fault but I never stopped caring for you.” he says before leaving.
You look at the flowers scattered across your floor as you cry. You’d never think you’d care that much about him. Before you could curse yourself for confronting him you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket.
You open your phone to see Felix’s messages the number going up every few seconds. Atleast you knew you had someone to talk to.
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A/N - I’m sorry if it’s not what you wanted but I tried 😭
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bimbo-baggins17 · 22 hours
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KINKTOBER REQUEST!
hear me out:
incest, boot worship, and rape (I forget the numbers oops) with Kurt Matheson.
the idea in my head was that you're his sister or daughter. because of his untreated issues and very sensitive mental state, you visit him often to check on him. you end up staying over one night, nd during that night, it became unsafe to go outside, so you're stuck with him until further notice.
he confides in you about how long it's been since he's had a woman around him, and you get weirded out and ask him to stop, which bums him out.
in the middle of the night, he comes onto you, babbling about how desperate he is and how pretty you are and how much he needs you. ofc, he's a vet and works out, so he's much stronger and can easily overpower you. you wake up out of your sleep screaming and crying, and he ends up raping you.
finally feeling some sort of control, he tells you to worship him - his body, his voice, his very being - and he starts with shoving you down onto your hands and knees, one booted foot heavy on your spine while you're forced to lick at his other boot, cleaning away the dirt and grime.
I KNOW I JUST WROTE THE WHOLE DAMN THING OUT, BUT IF ANYONE CAN WRITE THIS, IT'S YOU!
I’M POSTING THIS ONE EARLY BECAUSE I CANT KEEP IT TO MYSELF ANYMORE
I know I already told you in our messages how much I loved this but OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. YOUR BRAIN IS BEAUTIFUL BNUUY. Hands down my favorite request like EVER. I went with it being his daughter. Definitely more of a fic than a drabble. Oopsies.
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TW: DDDNE!!! Rape and incest!!! Don’t like, don’t read.
One of the only times Kurt would make an exception to answering the door is when he knew you were expected. Every other week, like clockwork, you’d come with some groceries and necessities for your mentally unstable father.
“Hurry. Come in, come in.” His voice is gruff as he quickly ushers you in out of the storm before locking the door once you’re barely past the threshold.
You take a moment to look around his dimly lit space, discarded food cans litter the floor. You sigh as you set the bags of groceries down before stooping to try tidy clean some of it up. Kurt turns to come over to you, his eyes drifting to your ass as you do.
“You know, if you kept your space clean, it would probably help you a bit mentally.” You say with your back still to him. Honestly it probably wouldn’t do much to his fragile mental state but you still tried.
“You worry too much.” He says dismissively coming up beside you.
With a sigh, you straighten up and look at him, “Maybe you don’t worry enough.”
He huffs out a laugh, “You sound just like your mother. Trust me. I worry plenty.”
You shake your head but drop it instead, not wanting to argue. It was draining with him and you were always walking on egg shells. You opt for putting away the items you brought. “I’ll get these put away and then I’ll head out. I can’t stay long this time, sorry dad.”
He exhales and rubs a hand over his stubble. “Can’t give your old man a couple more minutes?”
“Sorry, not tonight. But I’ll be back next week with your med refills.”
He waves a hand at that, “Don’t. Theyre useless anyways.”
You stop and look up at him. “Are you implying you aren’t taking them anymore?”
Kurt looks away, shaking his head. “They don’t work anyways.”
“They can’t work if you don’t take them consistently. We’ve been over this.”
“Yeah you really sound like your mother now.”
You give him a look, unamused by him. “I only say that because I care.”
The lights flicker and both of you look over to the window seeing the storm has gotten significantly worse in the short amount time you’ve been here.
Your dad looks back to you again, “I don’t think I’m comfortable with you out in the weather like this.”
And that’s how you get roped into staying the night at your dad’s. You knew he worried. God he worried about everything. What led to your parents’ divorce was that exact reason. His PTSD got worse and worse until he was unable to leave the house for fear of the end of the world.
Both of you sit on the floor with a lantern between the two of you, barely giving off enough light. The sound of the storm outside drowns out the scraping of utensils in the cans you were eating from.
“How’s school been? I feel so out of the loop anymore.” Kurt speaks up, trying to make conversation.
You shrug lazily, “Alright I guess. You’d be in the loop more if you had a cellphone like a normal person.”
He scoffs and rolls his eyes. “I’ll ignore that comment,” He mumbles. His eyes move slowly over you again. He’d be lying if he didn’t think you were beautiful, the way your curves filled out more over time, the way your breasts seemed to nearly double in size over the last year. His chewing halts for a second as he feels a familiar twitch in his pants, one he hadn’t felt in so long. “You got a boyfriend?” He questions after a moment.
You stop and look up at him, shaking your head, “No.”
Slowly he nods his head. “You should. You’re beautiful.”
You shift a little where you sit, uncomfortable with the compliment. Sure it was normal for a dad to compliment his daughter but not your dad. “Um. Thanks.”
“I mean it. You’re looking more and more like your mom did in her prime.”
You look up at him again, “Uh..yeah I guess so.”
“Filling out like her too. Getting her curves.” He continues on. He probably should stop but it’s been so long and yeah it’s probably wrong but he’s so starved for pussy, he’ll take whatever he can. It’d be a waste of a perfect opportunity if he didn’t try.
“Dad?” You question with your eyebrows furrow together tightly.
He sighs and hangs his head. “Sorry. It’s just,” Kurt sighs once more and shifts a little closer to you placing a calloused hand on your leg. “It’s been so long since I’ve been with a woman and I-“
“Oh my god, dad. Gross! Stop it!” You shove his hand off of you and quickly put some distance back between you too.
Kurt’s hand clenches into a fist as he brings it back to his lap. “Right. Yeah. Sorry.” He tries to suppress the disappointment in his voice.
“I’m going to bed, I just..ugh.” You were unnerved to say the least. You get up off the floor, leaving the half eaten can of food on the ground.
“You-uh..you can take my cot.” He calls after you before he’s mentally beating himself up again. This was going to be a long night.
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Kurt tosses and turns for what feels like hours on the floor, his cock so painfully hard. He sits up a little to look at you on his cot. You looked so peaceful while sleeping, watching the steady rise and fall of your chest with each breath. It was pure torture to have a woman so close but not being able to do anything about it. Any rational part of his brain was gone years ago so his conscience wasn’t telling him to stop as he got up off the floor, slowly making his way over to your sleeping form.
He reaches down and brushes some hair off your face, “So beautiful,” He murmurs, letting his hand move off your face, slowly tracing down your neck over the pulse point, then your collarbone before he’s allowing himself to squeeze your supple breast. He bites down on his lip to keep from making any noise noticing you weren’t wearing a bra to sleep. His cock throbs.
Kurt palms himself to try and cause any kind of relief this way as he continues to knead your breast, feeling the pebbled nipple poking his palm. He lets out a shuddered exhale. His eyes trail down further seeing the hem of your shirt bunched up a little. A peek wouldn’t hurt right? Not like you’d know. Slowly he inches the shirt up until he’s able to see at least one of your breasts. Leaning down slowly, he presses an open mouthed kiss to it.
You stir a little in your sleep but don’t wake up. He freezes for a second to make sure you stay asleep before he envelopes your nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it.
“Fuck,” He murmurs, releasing it. Making a bolder choice, he lets his hand continue its decent to the waistband of your pants before he’s slipping it in, finding your cunt with his fingers. He draws in a shaky breath feeling how you were wet. “What’re you dreaming about babygirl?” He whispers into the dark.
Against anyone else’s better judgment, he eases your pants and panties down, revealing your core to him. He hesitates for a second looking at it, imagining how tight it would feel wrapped around his shaft.
“I’m so sorry baby. Just been so long..and..and it hurts. You know I love you. You’re my beautiful little girl. I know you’d forgive your dear old dad for this.” He rambles quietly before he’s easing onto the bed between your legs as he bends them. Quickly he fishes his leaking cock out, running it through your folds.
Time isn’t a luxury he has right now. As much as he’d love to savor this, he can’t so he pushes into you, keeping his eyes on your face to make sure you aren’t waking up. Slowly he starts to rock into you, biting back moans that threaten to spill out.
“Oh sweet girl..so good to me.” He pants out, rocking his hips into you faster as he chases his much needed release. The caution he had at first is quickly abandoned as his thrusts grow harsher.
You’re stirred from your slumber feeling something that you most definitely shouldn’t be. Hazily you try to make sense of what’s going on as you come to your senses. Quickly you put together that your father is on top of you fucking into you. “Wha-? S-stop! Stop!”
Kurt’s eyes fly open and land on your face seeing you’re now awake. “Shh..it’s okay baby. I know. I know. Just couldn’t help myself-“
You claw at him to try and get him off, shoving at him but he doesn’t budge. “Dad! Please stop!!” You cry.
“No. No. Just-..nghh..be good for your dad.” He grits out.
You continue to squirm and try to fight which only serves to irritate him. He can’t have that. The years of working out and military training served well and he’s able to easily over power you, pinning you down tightly against the cot. “I said, be good.” He continue to pound into your poor pussy, taking what he wants and not caring about your protests.
“Stop! Please!” You keep repeating the words through far tears that roll down your cheeks.
“Don’t cry baby. You’re helping out your dad.” It’s his attempt to console you. As if reminding you it was your father who was fucking you would somehow make it better.
Your protests soon die off, continuing to cry and sniffle under him.
“Good girl. Such a good girl.” He coos before he’s cumming into you. He leans down to press a wet kiss to your chest. “Now tell daddy thank you.”
Quickly you shake your head. The worst was over, so you assumed. You’d leave after he got off of you. “What? No. You’re sick. Sicker than I thought.” You sniffle.
Kurt leans back, a scowl on his face. “Ungrateful brat.” He spits the words out.
Your eyes widen. You’d upset him, that much was clear. You shake your head again, taking back what you said for the sake of not having him rape you again. “No. No wait. I’m sorry..I’m sorry I didn’t mean it.”
“Oh yeah? You’re sorry, hm?”
You nod your head. “Yeah. Yes, yes I’m sorry dad.” It made you sick to call him that now.
“Show me then. Worship me.”
You look up at him with wide eyes. “W-what?”
“I said, worship me. Make your dad happy.”
You don’t even know where to begin, how to lie that well. Kurt is unhappy with how long you take. Slipping out of you, he quickly yanks you up and shoves you onto your stomach on the floor before you can process what’s happening, his one booted foot shoved directly into the center of your back while the other one rested by your head on the floor.
“Lick it.” He instructs.
“What? Lick what?”
He huffs in frustration, “My boot. Lick it. Show your dad how much you love him.”
You start to protest despite your compromised position, but Kurt presses his boot more firmly into your back. “Lick. It.”
You shakily raise your head and stick your tongue out, giving a little kitten lick to the toe of it.
“More.” He encourages, adding more pressure. “Clean it with your damn tongue.”
You sniffle but oblige him, knowing you weren’t getting out of this without doing so. You run your tongue along the toe of his boot, moving to the front of it, dipping down to the sole of it.
“There we go. Much better.” He praises, “Now tell me you love me.”
You suck in a shaky breath, “I-love you dad.”
He hums happily, “Good. Now my voice.”
“I..love your voice.” You sniffle.
He releases a little of the pressure on your back, “My body.”
You fight the urge to recoil at the words he wants you to speak, “I-…I love your body.” You want to puke.
“Mm. There we go. You made your dad so happy, little girl.” He praises softly, “That wasn’t so bad, yeah?”
You shake your head for the sake of appeasing him, “N-no..it wasn’t.”
“Good,” He takes his boot off of your back but then places it down infront of your face. “Now lick this one.”
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rockermybuddie · 3 days
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Misunderstanding
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Tommy x Evan “Buck”
A/n: i write a lot of Tommy and Buck. Imma write something different. Eventually.
Summary: Its Bucks off day and he decided he was going to bake some cookies and bring them to Tommy at work. When he arrives he spots Tommy talking to someone hes never seen before. Hes about to walk over to his boyfriend when the man kisses Tommy. Buck stops and turns around walking away before seeing or hearing Tommys reaction.
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~Bucks POV~
I feel Tommys lips on mine as he gives me a goodbye kiss. “See you later.” He whispers. I hear the bedroom door click shut and drift back into sleeping.
When i woke up i made me some oatmeal and watched an episode of The Bachelor. When i was done i was bored. Eddie went down to Texas to vist with Christopher. I’m glad the two are making mends, i know it hurt Eddie when Chris left to live with his grandparents in Texas.
Maddie and Chim are taking a short trip to Long Beach. And Hen and Karin are dealing with the foster people to get Nia. So im out of options when it comes to hanging out with someone.
I decided im going to bake some cookies for Tommy and his station, so i get to work. I’m going to make a variety and an allergy free batch.
Once i finished i put the cookies in some boxes and loaded them into my jeep. I didnt text Tommy that i was coming because i want it to be a surprise.
When i arrived i parked my jeep and grabbed the boxes of cookies with a big smile on my face. I walked into the station and scanned the area looking for Tommy.
“Looking for Tommy?” Someone asks. “Yes.” I answer. Everyone here knows who i am. “Hes upstairs in the kitchen.” The person says. “Thanks.” I smile and make my way up the stairs.
When i get to the top i turn the corner and see Tommy talking to someone i’ve never seen before. Hes tall and skinny but well built, he has short curly blonde hair. I cant tell what color his eyes are but the way he is looking at Tommy is making me uneasy and hes standing really close to Tommy. Tommy is leaning against the counter just keeping conversation.
I was about to say his name when the guy leans forwards giving Tommy a kiss. That was all i needed to see even though thats not what i wanted to see. My heart instantly sank and i turned away and got out of there as fast as i could.
I threw the boxes of cookies in the trunk not caring if they spilled out and drove out of there as fast as I could.
I drove to my apartment because i obviously didnt want to go back to Tommys bouse where i’ve been staying at most of the time anyways.
When i walked in it was kind of cold but it didn’t bother me because i was flamming with anger. I cant believe Tommy kissed another guy. I tried not to cry but it was too hard to hold back. I really thought he was the one, that he wouldnt cheat on me. I guess i was wrong.
——-
~Tommys POV~
Everything was going fine at work, had a few easy calls. We got a new person his name is Kaleb Green, great young kid. Hes been doing really good.
We were in the kitchen just talking about why we wanted to become a firefighter and the craziest calls we have ever been on.
“So is your locker the one with the gay pride flag on it?” He asks me. “Yes?” I answer carefully. I dont think this kid is a homophobe or anything but im alway cautious when it comes to telling people. I have no shame in being a gay man but having such a masculine job some people may see me differently.
“Thats so cool. Another gay firefighter. I’ve never met another one. I dont feel so alone now.” He says. “Oh, well actually…” i was going to tell him about Evan but before i could finish my sentence he leaned forward and kissed me. I definitely was not expecting that.
“Dude! What the hell?!” I shout shoving him off of me. “Sorry. Too far?” He stupidly asks. “Yes way too far! Plus i have a boyfriend. He happens to be a firefighter too.” I snap. “Please dont report me. I really like it here” he begs. “Too late.” I tell him walking out of the kitchen.
I walk downstairs to report him when i see a familiar grey jeep leaving the parking lot pretty fast. I hope that wasnt Evan.
“Hey Kinard, what did Evan bring you?” Steven asks from a far. “Shit” i say under my breath that was Evan and he probably saw what happened in the kitchen because i never saw him.
I was about to ask if i could handle this when a call came through. I had to push down my anger and my worries about what just happened and focus on the call. God i hope its a simple call so it goes by fast.
It was not. It was a warehouse fire and the warehouse contained toxic chemicals so everything we did had to be done carefully and correctly. It took the rest of the shift.
We finally got back to the station at 11pm. I grabbed my bag and headed straight for my truck. “Hey Kinard.” I hear Kaleb call out behind me. “Dont talk to me. You most likely just ended my relationship with Evan and he was the best thing thats ever came into my life.” I snap at him. Which I probably said too much, based off his facial expressions, but i need to talk to Evan tell him what happened and pray that he believes me. “Let me talk to him, then i’ll ask for a new placement.” Kaleb says, “let me fix this.” He adds. “No you are not talking to him and yes find a new placement. Its not going to work for you here.” I tell him throwing my bag in the truck and drove home.
——
When i arrive home i dont see Evans jeep which means hes not here. I dont know why i thought he would be at my house after all. I mean yeah hes been staying here most of his time anyways but this would be the last place he would come after seeing another guy kiss me.
I try calling him and texting him but hes not answering, rightfully so. I drive over to his apartment next. I see his jeep parked in its usual spot so i know hes here.
I knock on his door immediately when i arrive. No response. “Evan its me. Please can we talk?” I ask through the door loud enough he should be able to here me. After a few more moments of knocking and asking nicely I threaten to do a welfare check and kick down his door.
I then heard the sound of locks unlocking and the door opened to a cold apartment and a tall Evan with a tear stained face and a angry blank expression.
“Evan please listen, i didnt kiss him. He kissed me.”i say, this is a lot more nerve racking than i thought. Its so hard not to stutter and to hse the right wording. “I saw you Tommy.” Evans voice cracks, he walks to the other end of the table while im at the other. Hes so close but het so far.
“Evan i would never cheat on you. Please believe me. We were talking and he asked if my locker was the one with the gay pride flag. Next thing i felt his lips on mine and i pushed him away. I swear.” I tell him the whole story but i cant tell if he believes me or not.
How do you convince your partner that you aren’t cheating on them when they saw another guy kiss you? I feel like im losing him and i really dont want to.
——-
~Bucks POV~
I listen to what Tommy is telling me and my brain is telling me not to believe him but my heart is telling me that hes telling the truth. Because Tommy is the first person to ever so me the type of personal affection, how it feels to be loved. Even though we haven’t said it yet we can feel it when we cuddle, when we get intimate, and when we say the same thing at the same time.
But in this case what do i go with my brain or my heart? Part of me wants to just believe him and go back to how things were but the other half wants to kick him out of my apartment and never talk to him again.
“Evan everyone in this situation had a misunderstanding.” Tommy says. “How am I misunderstanding this Tommy?” I ask in anger. “Okay, okah, im sorry. Wrong words here. Kaleb had a misunderstanding with what i said and he didnt let me finish talking before he kissed me. I was literally about to tell him about you when he kissed me.” Tommy explains.
“Thats what they all say.” I mumble under my breath. “Say what?” Tommy asks. “That the other person kissed them.” I answer. “Evan….” Tommy says, he can tell hes losing me.
It was quiet for a few moments as each of us trys to think of something. “I’ll come get my stuff tomorrow.” I say finally breaking the silence. “W-w-w-what?” Tommy stutters. “I said i’ll come get my stuff from your house tomorrow. While your at work so we dont see each other.” I repeat. Evans face goes into panic mode as he runs a frantic hand through his rough hair.
“Evan please. Im telling the truth. Listen Kaleb said he will talk to you. He’ll tell you everything i just said is true.” Tommy says all in one breath trying to convince me. “Please leave Tommy.” I ask. I’ve been hurt by too many people that are supposed to love me to try again and risk getting hurt again and again and again.
“Evan, baby please.” Tommy begs. “Stop. Get out Tommy. Get out before i call the police.” I command. Tommy rubs his chin with his hand as he turns to the door. He looks back at me one more time before he forces himself out the door.
Now im all alone, again. I should just stay single the rest of my life clearly everyone is going to hurt me when i get close to them.
——
The next day i wait intil i know Tommy is going to be at work so i can go get my clothes from over there.
When i arrive i dont see his truck which means he went to work today. I walk up to the door and i go to type in the code to unlock the door when the door opens. I look up and see the guy from yesterday. Kaleb.
I wanted to punch the guy so bad. He messed up the one good thing i had in my life. “Evan, right?” He asks. “So you’re Tommys new side piece huh?” I snarl. “Please let me explain myself. I never ment for any of this to happen. Can we just talk?” He asks stepping aside for me to come in. I roll my eyes and walk into the house.
I took a seat at the island in the kitchen as I listened to Kaleb talk. He basically said that it was his fault that he made the move and he ruined his chance at the firehouse. He said that he’s been transferred to a new one.
“So do you believe Tommy now? That he wouldn’t cheat on you?” Kaleb asks. “He was going to come tell you instantly but we got a call. You know how it is.” “Yeah.” Is all i say. “Well i have to get going. I really hope you can forgive Tommy. He really loves you.” Kaleb says as he lets himself out.
I sat at the kitchen island with my head in my hands thinking about what to do when i saw Tommy standing in the entrance of the kitchen leaning against the wall frame.
His body language was soft and his face was filled with regret. Hearing both sides of the story and that basically Tommy was telling the truth made it a little easier to go with my heart. But still knowing another guy kissed him hurts a little.
——
~Tomms POV~
I stood there and watched Evan as he proceeded what Kaleb told him. I can’t believe i caved and let Kaleb talk to Evan but its the only thing I could think of that could save mine and Evans relationship.
“So its true.” Evan finally says. “Yes.” I say. “A lot of people hurt me in the last Tommy.” He says. “I know. I never wanted to be one of them.” I try to control my voice to keep it steady.
“I know.” Evan says, “it still hurts that another guy kissed you.” He says. “It wont happen again. I swear to you Evan.” I promise him. “I know.” He says, a small smile spread across my face.
I walk towards him keeping an eye on his body language. “So do you forgive me?” I ask when im standing in front of him. I feel like im shaking as i wait for an answer. “Yes.” Evan tilts his head up and makes eye contact with me.
A smile spread my face as i lifted his chin up with my finger and connected my lips to his. God it felt so good to feel his lips against mine again. “What were you bringing me yesterday?” I ask out of curiosity. “Cookies. They are spilled in the back of my jeep.” He answers. “You taste better than cookies.” I say shrugging my shoulders. He smiles at that.
“I missed you so much.” I say against his lips resting my forehead against his. “I missed you too.” He says. I cradle the back of his head with my hand as i take his mouth back into mine.
I have him back and im never letting him go again.
——-
A/n: I hope you enjoyed the story!
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i think the main thing i hate about 'suicide units' in school health classes is how bad the advice is. like wtf??? no dont tell a persons parents theyre suicidal without the persons permission thats fucked up
instead of doing what school tells you, please follow these rules:
dont tell authority figures about someone's suicidal thoughts/sh unless you know theyre in active danger or they gave you permission. its a breach of privacy and trust, and it could put them in a bad spot if their parents are abusive.
please dont treat a suicidal person with pity/babying. its just plain demeaning. unless youre sure theyre okay with something else, treat them normally and just check in on them more.
and if YOURE suicidal, they dont even teach you how to deal with it or cope, they just give you 988/other hotline and send you on your way. its superficial care.
here are some ACTUAL tips if youre suicidal/struggling in anyway with mental illness:
if you cant do things the way youre supposed to, then cut corners. some is better than nothing.
the little things can make a difference. seeing your keychain always makes you feel a little better, so take that keychain everywhere. it wont fix everything, but a little bit of joy can go a long way.
find other people who are struggling like you. online spaces are a good start! however, if you feel like the environment is just making you feel negative and more depressed, you should leave to prevent further harm.
FIND THINGS YOU ENJOY. please. whether it be rhythm games, reading, drawing, hell, doing math equations, things that youre passionate about can be like a rock to support yourself when it gets bad. they make you feel better, they give you a purpose (though you dont need one to be worthy of life, remember that) and they give you something to connect to others with.
try to get some sunlight. vitamin D deficiency is awful and can cause serious depression, so letting the sun do its job can make you feel a little better. bonus points for either going outside or opening a window to get fresh air!
as soon as you can comfortably and safely do so, please try to go to a therapist to help you figure out how to cope with your symptoms. theyll still be there, but they can live alongside you instead of preventing you from living.
a lot of this stuff can be good for executive dysfunction too! if you need depression meals, a basic rule of thumb is to try and get all the food groups. if you only have instant noodles and some eggs, then make the instant noodles as cook the eggs in the broth. if you only have rice, peanuts, and some hot sauce, put those together. etc etc. there are tons of great resources out there too, ill probably reblog later with some.
most of all, of you seriously think youre at your wits end and might kill yourself after another issue, or maybe your parents yelled at you, or maybe you got laid off, whatever it is, call a hotline. things can be fixed, but if theyre fixed when youre gone, you wont be around to see how happy you could be :(
okay thats all. i hope i gave a few people better health education than school did. try to drink some water and maybe have a snack if you havent, and remember, i love you!!
(ps im not a licensed professional nor am i an expert, ive just been pretty depressed and suicidal for a long time, so this is speaking from mine and other's experience. if anyone else has something to say on it, i encourage sharing!! lets use our collective knowledge to defeat the pta mandated shallow health class)
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queenerdloser · 9 months
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i just finished dark heir
#me foaming at the mouth during the last chapters: HE IS! FUCKING! SAVING YOU!#i am huddled around will kempen hissing like a mama cat none of these fuckers are allowed to look at him#dark rise#okay but like. cyrian at literally every moment in the book you see will anticipating things and making connections#that you never make. doing things like a leader & being fucking smart and strategic. and your dumb ass really thought.#hm. must mean i shouldnt listen to him about the magic staff that can literally stop the end of the world. must be evil.#me: [screams into the abyss]#i know i cant expect characters to react like readers and they DID all react like i knew they would but god it was so infuriating!!!!!#and heart breaking! god!!!! god!!!!! will reliving his mother's initial betrayal over and over and OVER again#and thinking about all the little moments we get where the novel tells us: if these 'evil' characters had just been accepted#instead of tossed aside maybe they wouldnt have fallen. if they had been protected instead of killed maybe they would have#become protectors instead of killers. maybe if will's mom hadn't tried to butcher him for the sin of his own birth#he wouldn't have been so scared to tell people he lied to them.#anyway im not normal about will kempen and if book 3 doesnt give me his friends fucking accepting him i'll kill someone#me looking directly at visander: i dont care how charming you are i'll murder your ass about it#i read this book in like 5 hrs im being very normal about it
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stiffyck · 5 months
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Okay what if the winners got to meet previous versions of themselves through the life games.
Like grian meets no one. He didn't have any previous "versions".
Scott meets 3rd life Scott.
Pearl meets 3rd life and last life pearl.
Martyn meets 3rd life, last life and double life Martyn.
Scar meets 3rd life, last life, double life and lim life him-
This whole thing was an idea that I got just because I was thinking about ll and sl scar because they were both so lonely like wtf and I just though about a scene that would be so. Grips chair.
Ll: "We won?"
Sl: "Yeah"
Ll: "Did we have allies? Friends?"
Ll scar probably thinks sl scar won only because he had allies to support him. He knows what its like being lonely and he hopes no one has to go through that loneliness. And he wants to be optimistic for once that sl scar, future him, gets allies, gets friends.
He tries to hope and then he sees the look on sl scars face. Or maybe sl scar tries to lie- maybe he tries to say they had allies.
Ll scar sees right through him. He's him after all. Maybe he's always gonna he lonely anyway
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moeblob · 4 months
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Look, I just think it's VERY funny and on brand that I thought of an entire premise of colorful characters for half the cast and immediately drew the only one void of color.
#my characters#i will not bore you all too much in the main post but now its story time in the tags so yeefuckinghaw#noll is a fae and is distinctly the only one that just lacks colors#at first he was like well surely i can wear colorful stuff to make up for my dark hair and eyes !#and then he overhears some of the fae talking about how hes a blemish to the fae and hes like well fuck#guess its time to go all in baby! and decks himself out in all black and jagged clothing#and he tries to play it off as hes an idiot and a lot of the fae actually believe its not ALL an act#like they can tell he thinks about stuff but he normally does it staring into space so they dont care to ask#cause surely it isnt important enough to brood about hes just thinking about stuff#and he really REALLY has a lot of confidence issues and worries that more fae are disturbed by his darkness than let on#but then the other fae that like to hang out with him are like#YOOOOOO THATS OUR LIL VOID! THATS OUR LIL GUY! our lil black spot look at him hes so edgy and cute!#and treat him like a pet cat at times giving him head pats even if he bats their hands away#and the plot premise is that some of the fae are bored and decide they should go play with some humans! give THEM enrichment too!#and noll gets roped into it and The Game is basically go find a human partner and convince them to be an ally#then the fae give the humans cool lil toys (weapons) and are like GO FORTH MY CHAMPION!#so noll keeps like ... not picking anyone to participate because its not just A Game to him#if he can prove victorious in A Game with outside factors such as humans then he can prove hes not#an absolute disappointment to the fae like he has a lot riding on this in his mind#and his friends are just like buddy you cant even play if you dont pick a human you gotta#anyway here is noll and then i have ideas for two other fae and also a veeeery vague idea for two of the humans though not as sure yet#rae if you read all this you should know the cobalt is a fae thanks bye#i am so stressed posting ocs every single time and i am incredibly depressed and anxious#so good lord please let me not just delete all the tags in an hour bc im ashamed
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oceanwithouthermoon · 9 months
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https://x.com/d3kutism/status/1741579841764475157?s=46
it should be illegal to be this fucking stupid so loudly and confidently omg..
mfs on the internet preach about "media literacy" yet they completely gloss over the fact that the only damn things that kusuo "canonically" is are a tsundere, an unreliable narrator, and a fucking liar LMFAOOO.. babe thats like basic reading comprehension, im sorry..
EDIT: it should go without saying not to send a person hate just because of a silly post like this one(+i dont have any reach anyway so im sure it wouldnt happen, but i wanna say this nonetheless lol) but i would just like to say that i just checked and realized that this person is 15 years old, so like... yeah, too young to be arguing with grown people on the internet. dont take this too serious or send this person hate pls lol..
#nobody who isnt aroace is allowed to tell ME what character has to be aroace#yall forget that we aroaces (+ESPECIALLY autistic aroaces) dont want or need your ugly white knight savior bs#'oh but im aroace n i also think hes aroace🤓' ok?? should i care about your hcs?#have your projection hcs or your regular random hcs- i literalky DONT care#but it becomes an issue when u try so desperately to defend it like this#like babe u sound so dumb☠️#its so confusing to me how u chronically online weirdos insist on making ur hcs canon#i promise u guys ur hcs dont have to be canon for u to enjoy them#its a VERY popular hc too like tf more do u want#im autistic and aroace and i say kusuo is demi and autistic#i am him and he is me so i know factually/j#so still on the aroace spectrum but either way i dont force my hcs on other people like u selfish weirdos do LOL#also this person and the replies being like 'just cuz not all autistic ppl r aroace doesnt mean none can be' YEA OBVIOUSLY?#UR ARGUING WITH THE WALL AND ITS CRAZY CUZ NOBODY EVER SAID THAT#literally not one fucking person said he cant be aroace- just that it isnt canon#do u even fucking hear urselves.. YOURE the ones saying he cant be anything other than aroace.. so YOURE the one doing the forcing..#u guys love pushing ur stereotypes on others and then defending it to high fucking hell#anyway sorry i dont have a public twitter so im saying my piece here#the link looks suspicious as hell twitter pwease give me a better link#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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koko2unite · 2 months
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so many expenses this month and most of it isnt even for me :(
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how many times have you watched this scene or are you normal
#my thasmin is like. this little interaction but all the time#obsessed obsessed obsessed with it#the way she falls over the way yaz holds onto her basically the most tightly we like ever see anyone hold onto 13#the way she wipes the sensation of yazs hands off her afterwards#the way shes so out of her mind#the way it's yaz who gets the worst of it bc shes always closest#shes always closest so she gets the ugliest side of the doctor. for her loyalty she gets this#and 13 Wants to give her so much more and she just...Cant#the way yaz knows this and accepts this#the way she knows everything and 13 knows she knows everything without her ever telling her anything bc#she knows yaz has been here. exactly here. right next to her every time. the closest#how could yaz /not/ know everything#she doesnt need to be told. shes seen everything. she may not know the details she may not know the stories. but she knows#'you dont understand ANYTHING' and she just goes 'alright. it's alright'#how many of these scenes have there been that we havent seen? if you ask me........Many#10 months between revolution and flux where it was just them and the doctor was chasing anything division? yeah Many#they barely touch each other too wheni write them#like they touch each other. duh. but it's like. its so tentative always its so careful and this is soooo physical#it has the same force as 'we were worried about you' but it lasts like. 20 entire seconds#i love when they touch each other like that i love when yaz steps over the boundaries#like when i made her beat up 14. feels good feels organic fhkghjg#or any time shes angrydepressed and she makes a pass at the doctor#its like jsut touch me just touch me just touch me for once#like how much time has she spent alone with 13 with no human around not getting any physical contact whatsoever#anyway
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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where is that post that is like 'if u were the girl he wanted communication would be easy for him' bc yeah... no matter how much u dont want it to be, it's true
#not me being the most dumb bitch alive thinking i was just being considerate and patient...#for 10 months 💀#and then being slapped in the face w a actually none of it mattered at all nearly enough as it did to u#and u were not even worthy of talking to or trying to communicate with or simply discussing any of it and our feelings#(which were only my feelings in the end)#and u were pathetically daydreaming and fantasizing and missing whatever 'it' was between us but i didnt really care#and it never mattered that much to me and idc to have had talked abt it and see if there was anything to off there#u were only worth being thrown away without even being told anything abt how i felt or was i was thinking#bc at the end of the day what was everything to u and what mattered so much to u was not even 1% as important to me#💀 legitimately i am dying !!!!#ig what hurts me the most that it was smth i was willing to fight for or talk abt to see if we were on the same page or were our heart lied#or like .. idk im just hurt at the fact that for him all of that was just smth to throw away. not even worthy of talking abt or simply#not even giving me a chance bc i know that time's running out but the fact that#he didnt even find it worthy enough to give a chance TALKING abt.#also what hurts me so fkn bad is that if i didnt force myself to go against my avpd and try to ask i wouldnt know anything#bc he doesnt tell me anything of that stuff and he didnt the first time either and im like#i truly am so pathetic letting someone have so much power over me just bc i love them and want them so bad#when im only a speckle of dust in their life#like ..... what is wrong with me? both bc why cant i ever be loved#EVERYBODY else always has someone!!!! i NEVER do!!! and like idk#and this is worse than a crush bc h actually talked to me and told me things and said things and it was real#(to me)#and then just stopped and i didnt know what i did and it could never be talked abt either and it just suckssssss#like why am i so fucking deeply and incredibly unlovable and worthless and not worth anything??????? not even a talk???? like wtf
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theygender · 3 months
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I love thriftbooks so much. My gf and I finally got a new bookshelf for our bedroom and there's a lot of extra space on it so I decided to try and fill in the gaps in my collection of warrior cats books from my childhood. I needed 8 books in total and I just found ALL of them in "very good" condition for a total of only $35 (with free shipping!)
#if you dont care whether your books are pre-owned they are SO good. everything is so affordable#sometimes you can even get 'like new' condition where its been read before but you cant even tell#or even brand new ones that have never even been read once#personally i like the 'very good' condition for most of my books#like if im buying a copy of a book i read as a kid for example then like i want it to match the other books i have from my childhood#also the reason i dont have these specific warrior cats books in the first place is bc i borrowed them from the library#so it kinda feels right to buy them pre-owned now#also sometimes it gives me this really cool feeling of like being connected to someone ive never met#like i got my books about judaism from thriftbooks and one of them in particular was in 'good' condition#(which allows for minimal writing on the pages)#and theres multiple places throughout the book where the previous owner underlined certain lines in pencil#and its just really cool to me to see what lines the previous person who read this book thought were important#it makes me pause and consider those lines to figure out if theyre important to me too#im also looking into getting more copies of the locked tomb series (specifically i want a hardcover and paperback of each book)#but i wanted them new so i originally went to b&n bc i know its rare for thriftbooks to have books in 'new' condition#even with b&n having a sale tho they we SO expensive#just buying gtn in hardback was gonna cost almost as much as i paid thriftbooks for all of my warrior cats books combined#so i went to check if thriftbooks happened to have any 'new' condition copies of them and they do!!#they have 'new' copies of each of the books in the format i want them in! shouldve checked there first lol#rambling
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cheemken · 8 months
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Oh that mental image of him breaking down and his Dragonite gently holding him until he's ready to hug back--crying in the club fr I wanna write this scene so much
Another personal hc that I have is definitely one that has a lot of self-projecting onto it. Mostly from the throw away line of 'my knees are creaking' and how the other E4s run to the end of the arena while he takes his sweet time. Couple that with lines on how he fell asleep and is always just resting at the club, a part of me likes to think that he's got some health issues. Maybe joint pain or something that causes chronic exhaustion.
Drayton isn't all too bad with his classes schoolwork wise but he fails primarily on his lack of attendance. Maybe it's partially from days where getting out of bed is hard, or when he can't pretend that everything's all fine and dandy. Sitting down often because standing or walking too long causes his knees to act up. Napping when he can cause he's just low-key tired all the time.
Perhaps he wouldn't have gotten the reputation of being lazy and a slacker if he just spoke up about it but no. He gives me the vibes of someone who dislikes pity, having a level of pride where he prefers to handle stuff on his own. He's got a system with his Pokemon where they help him on bad days. Shame that's how people saw him but it's not like he's making an effort to dispel it anyway. He'd hate it if those displeased looks turned to pity instead
But I'm also a sucker for days where he just can't summon up the energy to pretend around people, and while most just chalk it up to him being lazy again, maybe his friends can tell and help make things a little easier.
(Again, that's just my personal hc with a healthy dose of self projection. I just love putting him through situations haha)
Omf cndmcndm yeah yeah I get that I understand that that hit me right at home lmfaooo
No but, imagine if the reason behind that too is bc how grueling the training of Drayden was. Cause I also have this small hc that Iris really tried to keep up w Drayden's 10k push ups, sit ups, and squats during their training too (so she's a bit built thanks to that lmfao), but Drayton couldn't keep up w that, he tries but he couldn't, his body wasn't frail to say the least, but he wasn't built like Drayden or Iris, his body was a bit weaker compared to theirs, so when he tries, even when he did warm ups beforehand, it'd still leave his body quite sore
That plus the lil hc I have that he always waits for Iris to come back home most nights, so he stays up late most of the time too, making him tired the next day
But yeah, with his pride, he always refuse to get help, to the point he conditioned himself that there really is nothing wrong w him, but there is y'know, and sometimes he can't handle it anymore. There was once his body just needed rest that he didn't go to school at all, it resulted in his fam telling him if he's that lazy then he should just stop going to school and just help around the house, after all, he isn't trusted enough for the gym, wasn't motivated enough to do any kind of work, not even w school, so what's he gonna do
Anyways yeah, this I canon in my heart anon, just let the boy sleep in he deserves it
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mihai-florescu · 4 months
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This really was our yumenosaki academy♡
#sooo baaad even if i graduate in summer theyre not giving me the diploma til end of 2024??#lets all brainstorm how i can get shu's human comedy monologue up on a poster advertising the grad show... for funsies really#its in my intro to the essay but it doesnt really have much to do with the visuals. which is what i'll need to submit for the posters#hmm well... no thatd look bad. i could go open indesign now but i dont want to i wanna go homeee#ive given up on caring about the project im just committed to the bit the target audience is me myself and its my requiem to art#but ive been telling people about my visual project and they all said theyre really excited to see it...? but it takes me months#of severe despair to get a good concept sorted out. im glad they all said they cant wait to see it... im curious myself#tomorrow ill try to play with recording it. then really lock in to the visuals#what are we thinking. digital spaceship or a real life installation?#the setting is you as the audience are an intergalactic truck driver passing by earth tuning in to the radio listening to a professor#studying humans give a talk about them. mini podcast ig? intergalactic cultural radio vibes?#you get it#so the audio is quite important but then also the setting#do i make it digital and ppl put on headphones and watch a screen?#or do i make it an installation irl#it wouldve been quite good if i made it in vr but i have 3 weeks no experience in the medium and um. well. yeah#i think it's a nice goodbye since i get to project my views on humanity through the alien and also he's a revamped version of#my first ever proper oc. carl the alien#isnt that a nice way to end this journey for now? i think so.
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tony-andonuts · 3 months
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God I wish I didnt get ostrasised by all but like 4 of my peers because holyfucking shit am I overworked and need a hug
#why cant everyone just be nice like for fucking real!!!!#so sick and tired of looking like Mother Theresa compared to my coworkers bc i do the bare minimum of making the residents feel cared for#like girl we are working with the same cast and crew#will never forget the time a cna came in and after telling them 'hey that guy will get seizures if you give em that' and they replied with#'well they get seizures regardless' AND LEFT#EVIL!!!!!!#andlike#i understand that not everyone has the same memory capacity/ability but oh my motherfucking god#if everyone around me is at baseline then i must be either God or the absolute perfect person#which is saying something bc ive genuinely killed quite a few braincells with my former [redacted] addiction but here i am#knowing the smallest things about everyone that makes em happy#and the thing is is that I WORK IN THE KITCHEN!!!#IM NOT A CNA/RN WHO AT ALL HOURS OF THEIR SHIFT WILL BE INTERACTING WITH THE RESIDENTS!!!#idk man if i were generally mentally n physically well in my 30+s AND gettin outshined by a 21 year old for the past 2 yrs id be embarrasse#cannot fucking wait for my mom to get a job so i can leave mine and take a break#tony speaks#and before anyone says 'the CNAs are overworked and some of the residents can be overwhelming!'#the residents know im nice so they come to me for fucking EVERYTHING!!!!#ESPECIALLY the overbearing ones!!!#AND ON TOP OF THAT I HAVE LITERALLY EVERYONE. STAFF AND RESIDENTS.#ASKING ME WHATS GOING ON WHEN IM BALLS DEEP IN THE AM AIDES BULLSHIT ON TOP OF THE MORNING COOKS#not only do i ghostrun the kitchen but im the guy everyone goes to for everything. regardless of department#im literally a kitchen aide with no further qualifications leave me the fuck alone and ask your superiors/managament FUCK!!!!!!!!
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yarrowleef · 2 years
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as this continues to be relevant yeah idk I just think this whole RiverClan nonsense conflict would have been less annoying for me to read if RiverClan had actually descended into true chaos. a situation like Redscar’s field guide story where several cats try to claim authority. but in this case, it goes beyond just two cats fighting and the clan starts splitting into mini factions supporting one self-appointed candidate or the other. the problem being presented as “we all forgot how to do chores without a teacher permission slip :(” is so weird and lame. give me blood shed eat each other alive so i believe your plight ffs!!! 
#warrior cats#asc#yarrow speaks#a starless clan#warrior cats sky#warrior cats shadow#wc criticism#uh i dont think this is spoilers? its the same as last book#sorry i take back that old post saying i didnt want to read about RiverClan brushing off Mothwings authority in this situation#turns out they really SHOULD have so that this plot would make more sense#bc as it stands i cant comprhend why she was unable to just point at Literally Anyone and ask them to organize some patrols for the day.#thats not appointing a leader its Just Doing Chores. switch off who does it every day who cares but how is it this much of a problem#i cant engage with this conflict at all with how its presented#idk first they said some senior warriors were *quietly and passively* gesturing to Frostpaw that they would like to be leader#but then later they said that no senior warrior would step forward. which is it. i just cant stop thinking of all the many many times-#-rando warriors were given temporary patrol organizing duties. it happens all the time. i just.#you cant rly tell me not One Single Cat here can organize some chores for a month or two#bc if thats true and mothwing is unable to just point at any warrior ask them to pick some patrols for the day-#then that suggests the problem is not lacking a starclan chosen leader the problem is apparently every single cat in this clan-#-is too incompetent for the job. and being officially appointed isnt going to suddenly give them that skill if they cant do it now#hence why i wish there had been some bloody fighting over this#but sitting around staring at the wall and doing nothing is cool too ig
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